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A 13th-century marriage scene, overseen by a priest whose own chastity puts him in mortal danger. If he doesn’t rebalance his body by expelling semen regularly, says our doctor, he could die – although masturbation is a big no-no
BRIDGEMAN
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My new wife is threatening to have our marriage annulled because I’m impotent. Can anything cure me? The medieval sex doctor replies: The first thing you need to establish is whether the problem is permanent or temporary. Could you be a victim of magic? There have been unfortunate cases in which newly married men have been made impotent by a jealous former lover. If this might be your problem, you should consult a priest who will probably recommend penance and exorcism. If magic is not involved, then medicine may help: a powder of vulture’s kidney and testicle, mixed with wine, is a good cure for impotence. When you intend to have sex, make sure that the conditions are right: rich foods (such as meat and eggs) and alcohol increase desire, as does warmth, so you should heat the room by lighting a fire. If none of this works, you may be one of those unfortunate men who (perhaps due to a defective liver and heart) are permanently impotent. In this case, your wife has every right to an annulment, because sex is an integral part of marriage, as I’m sure you knew before you got married. You should expect to be subject to a thorough examination and, if you are unable to perform, your marriage will almost certainly be judged invalid.
I’m a priest and I’ve heard stories about men who have died of celibacy. How can I avoid this fate? The medieval sex doctor replies: It certainly is possible to die of celibacy, but fortunately it rarely happens. The problem is that for your body to remain balanced and healthy, it needs to expel semen on a regular basis. If this doesn’t happen (for example, because you are a priest vowed to celibacy), semen can build up, damaging the heart and causing headaches, weight loss and eventually, in serious cases, death. The good news is that the body usually rebalances itself through nocturnal emissions of semen, and most churchmen agree that this (unlike masturbation, which
BBC History Magazine
you should avoid) is not a sin. Lifestyle changes can help too. Be careful about your diet: semen is made from digested food, and some foods produce more semen than others. Avoid rich foods such as red meat (fish is much better for you), and beware wine, which warms both the stomach and the genitals and provokes lechery. Monks undergo regular bloodletting, and so should you; the interchangeability of bodily fluids means that this will help to keep your celibate body in balance. If you follow this advice, you can keep your vow and remain healthy in both body and soul.
A couple exchange a ring, c1360–75. Powdered vulture’s kidney is the order of the day if impotence blights wedded bliss
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