https://antrasmn01.ebookmarket.pro/esu/B0DTKPYBXF/How-to-Avoid-a-Catastrophe-A-
How
to Avoid a Cat-astrophe: The Hilarious Guide to
Raising Your Cat
RightGems Youll Learn in This GuideHow to teach your cat to understand empathy, respect boundaries and know that 'no means no!'The pros and cons of allowing your cat to have a mobile phone, cook a meal and start a family.Why your cat thinks your taste in movies is questionableand how to win back their respect.Excerpt. Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.LEARNING TO SAY NO TO YOUR CATLearning to say No to your cata noble yet borderline impossible quest. Cats, you see, are majestic creatures who inherently believe the rules of the universe bend to their whims.Telling a cat No is like telling gravity to chill out.Still, let's dive into the absurdity.First, your tone is key. You need a firm yet calm voice, somewhere between CEO laying off staff and kindergarten teacher during nap time. Say No directly, not Nooo, Mr. Whiskers, pleeeeease don't! Cats hear begging as encouragement, like you're hosting a live concert just for them.Next, timing is critical. Your cat jumps on the counter? No! They're about to swat the dogs dignity? You guessed itNo! The trick is catching them mid-act because after they've done the thing, they're already planning their next chaotic masterpiece.However, cats often interpret No as Try again later. A squirt bottle might help, but theyll eventually just learn to dodge like furry ninjas.HOW TO GET A CAT TO UNDERSTAND THAT NO MEANS NO!Getting a cat to understand that NO means NO is akin to teaching a toddler quantum mechanicsits ambitious, likely futile, and will mostly entertain the observers. Cats are philosophers in tiny fur suits they dont believe in absolutes like NO. To them, its a mere suggestion.Start by delivering your NO with conviction, a firm voice, and dramatic flair. Your cat will reward your enthusiasm with an Oscar-worthy blank stare, immediately followed by licking its paw.Cats are also masters of selective hearing. If NO doesnt work, try alternative phrasing like Dont even think about it! or For the love of all things holy, stop! Pair these with gestures, like gently redirecting them away from the crime scene. Theyll respond by pretending to complybefore returning to the exact spot two minutes later.Ultimately, the secret isnt in teaching your cat what NO means. Its in learning to accept that, in their world, NO means, Try again later.Good luck, as you'll need it.