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Team convenes for first (and last) softball practice- and survives The practice ended when the beer ran out, and some players are still trying to figure out how to hit
Part of the Washbag softball team. That's owner and pitcher Ed Moose with glove.
a high-arching ball. of Pat Malone in a pink tigerstriped tracksuit hunched over the plate desperateh tryrng to remember what she did when she was captain of her school rounders team, back in sunny
HINK
Prunella Scales in front of the Club and . .
,
Oz.
Prunella Scales and the secret of her success tTl
onal lunch-
I
?rJäi:ü
her matchless interpretation of Mrs Fawþ in the television series "Fawþ Towers, " as the guest speaker. Visiting Hong Kong for
the Arts Festival to present "An Evening with Queen Victoria" Scales attracted, unsurprisingly, a full-house audience. In her short and witty speech, Scales let out one of the secrets of her success - she and her husband pay their children 50p an act to teach them the witty words and say them in the correct order. "Actors, in most cases, are not terrifically witly and entertaining people," said Scales. About Fawlty Towers she said that no one realised for some time that it was going to be a roaring success. Then one day she went to a tobacconist. There she heard one of the guys buying some fags asking the other: "Did you see that programme onBBC2?" "No, where's that?" inquired the other who didn't actually know how to find BBC2. The tobacconist instructed him to switch over. "And I thought then," explained Scales, "that maybe we were on to some-
thing." Among other questions she answered was: "What's it like working with John Cleese?" Describing John Cleese as one of the most intelligent, sensitive, professional,
altogether adorable actors she has ever worked with, she said that he has an en-
12 rpenuARv
1988
. . , before the luncheon audience. orrnous amount
of energy - physical, - and... "it's rather
mental and emotional
like working with a live maóhine gun and you try to keep it pointing away from you."
Question: What's it like playing a love
with somebody you really can't bear? Scales: Actors are usually rather pompous when they're answering this question. scene
a question of technique, one has a professional attitude in these cases.' In reality, it is absolutely horrible playing a love scene with somebody you find repr.rlsive. There's only one thing worse, a¡d that is, playing a love scene with somebody you fancied vrrong. Of the two horrors, I infinitely prefei the former, and I am not prepared to go into the problems of
They say, 'Oh, well, it's simply
the latter.
Or a first-time softballer, cricketer David Creffield, in a bright-red Hong Kong sweatshirt batting cricket-style, trying to figure out how in the hell you hit a high-arching ball - thrown by Dick Wagner who had never pitched before - with a round bat. (He missed. Did a complete pirouette and drilled himself into the g¡ound.) Then there's Derek Maitland, the only FCC member who "owns" a softball team (or any other athletic team for that matter), who took a lesson from his champion China Travellers and drilled three base hits, and managed to catch the ball a couple of times in short field, (Mind you, he still calls the field a pitch.) Jim Shaw, battling to remember life on the diamond back in old Alabama, drew down a long fly to centre field - andheld on to it - while Borurie Engel in right fielded two hard grourders off the bat of slugger Frank Miller which whipped right by first baseman Larry Doyle. Convener Saul Lockhart, alternately convulsed with laughter or crying in despair, actuaþ connected bat to ball and had to leg
it all the way to first,
where waiting
ambulance men resuscitated him. The red
beard swears that, when he was a young whippersnapper back in the parks of Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, he co-uld make the
home-to-first sprint
in
less than four
minutes. He told all who would listen that
he and Roger Bannister broke the four minute barrier on the same day in 1954. But only earþ arrivals Lockhart, Wagner and Doyle were witness to the greatest sight of all that Monday evening, January 25th - former FCC President Hugh Van Es, on hand to photograph the practice for Thc Conesþondpnt and posterity, at bat. Dressed in his best Viet Cong black, the
Kãs ill
5"1.-Lockhart saul in action. Some members of the Hong Kong team. mad Dutchman, batting crosshanded ("You guys don't know'*'hat you're talking about,
it is easier this way. No wonder ya can't hit.") sort of connected with a Wagner spitball, drilling a little itty-bitty grounder in the hole between Doyle and Lockhart (playing third and short for the occasion) who in any event, were on the ground crying with laughter at the Van Es' first swing. Not all the FCC team could make the practice Charlie Smith, Jane Bates, Fred Fredricks, Penny B1.rne, Peter Humble, Jack Keenan and Peter Bennett all promised to show up on the big day. The practice ended when the beer ran out, as you would imagine. The reason for all this exercise - the upcoming challenge by San Francisco's Washington Square Bar & Grill against a combined FCC and American Club team, to be played on the evening of February 10, during "San Francisco Week in Hong
Kong". Les Lapins Sauvages, as the Washbag's famous slow-pitch softball team is known, have played all over the world - well, the US and Europe - including every softball - player's dream, curtain-raisers before real major-league baseball games, in this case Fenway Park in Boston and Wrigley Field
in Chicago.
The last issue
of
The
Corresþondcnt detailed some of the fierce geriatrics and in-
valids who are making the trek across the Pacific. This time we list our part of the joint team. (Remember, this challenge is being played under special n:les: "players the average age of the team must over 40
-
be 50 - with diseased livers or other infirmities. Two women must be on the field at all times.)
OUR MOB Dick Wagner: Not
played in 10 years but
can't remember what position he played when he did.
Frank Miller: Can't remember the last time he pþed but feels certain he did. Derek Maitland: Finally learned enough
Peter Humble: Never
played but claims expertise because he watched the World Series on TV when living in America. Saul Lockhart: Rumour has it he can squat down far enough to catch - getting up after each pitch is a problem, of course - but will need assistance if he ever has to run past first base. Pat Malone: Never played softball, never saw a softball, but was captain of her rounders team back in Oz.
Penny Byrne: Played something
in
school in Oz but can't remember whether it was rounders or softball.'When contacted, first question'¡¡as "What should I wear?"
"baseball" terminology to talk to lhis China Trauell¿r's softball team. Never played
Larry Doyle: Has actually played in the New York slow pitch league. Batted .144 and struck out every 2.5 times at bat. (He
before.
made the all-star team.)
Jim Shaw: Last swung
a
bat when he was
72,back in dusty Alabama.
Jack Keenan: Has not
seen a softball in
40 years and remembers he was not very good when he did see it. Fred Fredricks: "Last time I threw a ball
was the Amcham Ball."
David Creffield: Never played but saw the girls play rorurders at school in England. Jane Bates: Never heard of the game, played rounders.
Charlie Smith: Not much information available, but rumour around FCC bar is that he secretly pitches for thé Phiþpine Heart Centre baseball team in Manila. Peter Bennetû Learned the game from TV in Japan and the US and wife Tomoko. Only husband-and-wife combination if they show.
For those who want to cheer the team on,
Bonnie Engel: Played short stop in high
the game is on February 10 at the Hong Kong Softball Association field in Tin Kwong Road, Kowloon. There are stands
school before switching to college drinking team.
for spectators, admission is free and there is a canteen chock-a-block with cold beer.
THE coRRESpoNDENT FÐBRUARY 1988 THE CORRESPONDENT 13