The D-Ally Guide (Fathers' UpLift)

FATHERS’ UPLIFT

THE D·​ALLY GUIDE

FATHERS & FATHER FIGURES as Healthy Allies During the Expecting Journey and beyond

fathers’ uplift 1st Edition

THE D·​ALLY GUIDE FATHERS & FATHER FIGURES AS HEALTHY ALLIES DURING THE EXPECTING JOURNEY and beyond.

IST Edition FATHERS’ UPLIFT 2024

THE PURPOSE

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he purpose of The D·​Ally Guide, Fathers as Healthy Allies During the Expecting Journey and Beyond, is to provide you with our thoughts and support on what it means to be an ally to the women in your life or your network who are experiencing a pregnancy alongside you. The truth is, pregnancy is complicated for you and the woman in your life who is carrying your child, if applicable, or connected to you. It is safe to say that we all need support. As such, we have created this guide not to place you as secondary to anyone but to partner with you to ensure that you have some resources to ally with the women in your life while you are working to remain healthy concurrently.

Let’s call a spade a spade. You are juggling two balls through this pregnancy process. The first ball you are juggling is your health and wellbeing as you figure out fatherhood for the first time or again. We can all agree that each pregnancy is different. The second ball you are juggling is trying to ensure that the person carrying your child, or relative in some capacity, is healthy enough to withstand the emotional and physical challenges so that the child enters this world safely.

We want to validate your thoughts: “It’s a lot and sometimes overwhelming.”

We hope this guide can be another resource for you in your journey. If, while reading this, you find that extra support is needed, please join us in our weekly drop-in group, which is accessible to you free of charge:

Thank You!

Fathers’ UpLift

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D·​Ally: A Dad (father or father figure) associated with a mother as a helper that provides assistance and support in an ongoing effort during the pregnancy and beyond.

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Content 03

THE PURPOSE

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dad’s journey

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advocacy

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supporting mothers

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WORST CASE SCENARIO

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resources

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bibliography

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THE PURPOSE OF THE D ·ALLY GUIDE

the emotionally pregnant dad

policies, govenance & avenues to report

everything d·ALLIES SHOULD KNOW

WOMEN’S RIGHTS TO THEIR BODIES: the thurman effect

tools for D·ALLIES

Referenced materials and websites (hyperlinked)

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PURPOSE BEGINNING OF THE JOURNEY

CHAPTER ONE

PURPOSE mental health is a critical public health issue.

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aternal health disparities among the Black and Brown women in our lives are a critical public health issue, underscoring systemic inequities that significantly impact their reproductive outcomes.

Research indicates that Black, Indigenous, and Latina women experience higher rates of maternal mortality and morbidity compared to their white counterparts. Factors contributing to these disparities include, but are not limited to: access to quality healthcare; implicit bias among healthcare providers, and socioeconomic barriers.

For instance, Black women are three to four times more likely to die from pregnancy-related complications. This data reflects not only individual health outcomes but also broader issues, like institutional racism, chronic stress, and lack of support systems. Addressing these issues requires a multifaceted approach focused on improving healthcare access, enhancing provider training, and ensuring our women are being listened to. By prioritizing equity and being allies, we can pave the way for healthier futures for all mothers and their children. Simply put, we can do much for the women by being present. Our presence impacts the health of the mom and child, whether they belong to us or not.

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Research highlights the vital role that fathers and father figures play during pregnancy and the postpartum period in improving health outcomes for both mothers and infants. Studies show that greater male involvement is associated with lower rates of postpartum depression and a higher use of essential maternal health services. By emphasizing the positive effects of father engagement on maternal mental health and infant care, we advocate for targeted strategies to include fathers in the maternal health journey actively. Here are some key findings from research regarding fathers’ involvement in pregnancy and beyond.

Key Findings from Research Lower Birth Weight Rates—Married mothers experience lower rates of low-birth-weight babies than unmarried mothers.

Prenatal Care Access—Married mothers are more likely to seek firsttrimester prenatal care, which is critical for healthy pregnancies.

GREATER MALE INVOLVEMENT IS ASSOCIATED WITH LOWER RATES OF POSTPARTUM DEPRESSION ....

Healthier Behaviors—Married mothers report lower instances of alcohol consumption, smoking, and drug use during pregnancy.

Impact of Cohabitation—Unmarried mothers who live with their partners are more likely to obtain early prenatal care and reduce substance use.

Birth Outcomes & Cohabitation—Among unmarried parents, cohabitation is linked to higher birth weights; non-cohabiting romantic partners face a 1.5 times greater risk of low-birth-weight deliveries.

Early Health Engagement—Increased paternal involvement was linked to 8

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earlier contact with health professional before 12 weeks gestation.

Enhanced Prenatal Care—Positive correlation with obtaining a dating scan (ultrasound during the first 12 weeks of pregnancy) and attending more antenatal check-ups.

Supportive Education—Greater participation in antenatal classes associated with active paternal engagement.

Maternal Well-being—Paternity leave is strongly linked to improved maternal well-being at three months postpartum.

Remember these things when you question why your role matters or when someone attempts to make you feel inadequate. There is a reason why we call this guide “Act a Fool.”

Understanding “Act a Fool” This guide encourages you to ‘Act a Fool’ because Fathers’ UpLift’s cofounder, Samantha, inspired Charles during their pregnancy. Charles often recalls Samantha’s words during their pregnancy. She looked at him profoundly concerned and said, “If these doctors do not listen to me, I want you to act a fool so that they do listen to me.” When she told him this, he took it as a badge of honor that she knew she could count on him to make people listen to her. Now, he’ll tell you that no woman should fear whether a provider who took an oath to care for all citizens would treat her appropriately. He has been acting a fool ever since to ensure that Black women, all women of color, are respected and treated fairly during birth. Now, let’s address one assumption: when we say, ‘Act a fool,’ we are not saying that one should be (1) rude, (2) disrespectful, or (3) violent.

When we say ‘act a fool,’ we are not saying that one should be (1) rude, (2) disrespectful, AND (3) violent.

Fathers’ UpLift

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SO LETS

ACT A FOOL TOGETHER we should not be afraid to get into good trouble. ~ rep. john lewis

We do not condone any behavior that places anyone in danger.

Nonetheless, we are saying that you should be (1) prepared to translate what the mother is saying to the provider if you (2) observe they are not listening, and, in the event they refuse to listen, (3) act. Action will look differently across the board; however, (4) when we are well-researched about the policies, course of action, and resources available, we can do so appropriately and strategically where all parties are held accountable.

In the words of Representative John Lewis, we should not be afraid to get into ‘Good Trouble.’ Although the word ‘fool’ is often synonymous with ‘bad,’ we believe unequivocally that one can be a ‘Good Fool’ who gets into ‘Good Trouble’ on behalf of those he loves by any means necessary.

Those he loves can be the women in his life and his neighbor.

Our mothers are our neighbors’ mothers.

And our neighbor’s mothers are our mothers.

The same goes for our children.

Our children are our neighbor’s children.

And our neighbor’s children are our children.

So, let’s ‘Act A Fool’ together.

We want you to understand your experience as a father. Even if pregnancy 10

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D·ALLY: REMINDER Our mothers are our neighbors’ mothers. And our neighbor’s mothers are our mothers.

The same goes for our children. Our children are our neighbor’s children. And our neighbor’s children are our children. So, let’s Act A Fool Together.

doesn’t personally affect you, please keep this information in mind for the future and for those you may encounter who are about to enter parenthood.

Your Journey: Emotionally ‘Pregnant’ Dads Charles, our other co-founder, once told Samantha that he felt “emotionally pregnant” during their first birthing experience. Although this statement initially caused tension, they worked through it together. While some may find the statement insensitive, especially considering the physical and emotional challenges of pregnancy, there is some truth to it. To help you navigate this journey, we’ve included a chart for your reference during pregnancy. Whether you’re the child’s father seeking to understand what you might be going through or a supportive figure for an expectant mother, it’s crucial to be informed. We hope you continue to use this knowledge as you actively support the mother and the baby.

5th to 12th Week Men often find it challenging to fully acknowledge the baby’s existence and envision their future relationship with the child. As they reflect on their role, they experience mixed emotions, including fear, excitement, and joy. Fathers are responsible for providing economic and emotional support for their families. The couple’s relationship may be affected by the presence of the developing baby. Additionally, factors such as cultural norms and past life experiences significantly shape how involved men are in the parenting process.

13th to 26th Week Fathers often struggle with the desire to bond with their unborn child and develop their parental identity. Societal expectations of being supportive and nurturing fathers can lead to feelings of exclusion and stress.

Additional challenges arise from role conflicts, work-related stress, and a 11

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emotionally pregnant dads the journey as a emotionally pregnant father is real and should not be underestimated...

lack of emotional support during this transition. As men adapt to the new phase of life that fatherhood represents, they may experience moodiness, irritability, and negative self-perception. Research indicates that marital satisfaction and the degree of involvement with the child are positively related, suggesting an essential link between a healthy relationship and effective parenting.

27th to 40th Week Men often feel sidelined and excluded during the processes of birth and labor, which can heighten their feelings of vulnerability and isolation.

During this time, the role of self as a parent becomes more significant than the roles of partner and worker. Many men seek information about their experiences as expectant fathers. Fathers frequently feel unprepared, grappling with worry, loneliness, and meaninglessness. Their styles of involvement during this time are influenced by earlier life experiences, societal expectations regarding gender roles, cultural norms, and the dynamics of their relationship with their partner. Despite initial negative expectations, active participation during birth can be an overwhelmingly positive emotional experience for men. Father-focused classes have also been shown to enhance men’s experiences during this time. While many men desire to be involved in pregnancy and labor, they often feel detached from the process. They report feeling torn between the urge to participate in their partner’s delivery and the impulse to withdraw.

The following section will explore leveraging this information as you utilize your care team. First, what is a care team, and why is it important?

Well, let’s get to it.

Care Team One assumption we want to address here is that being an D​·​ally does not mean placing yourself last. In fact, and you already know this as a friend, you can only be a good friend if you care for yourself. The same is true when you are an D​·​ally. So, the first thing you want to ensure you have in place during the pregnancy is a care team. Your care team will be one of the most important parts of this journey.

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D·ALLY: REMINDER Being an D·ally does not mean placing yourself last. You can only be a good D·ally if you are able to care for yourself.

Components of Care Team: We tell folks that their care team should comprise at least three people; if there are more, that is okay. But, for starters, ensure that your care team has a (1) Friend who is good at listening and refraining from offering unsolicited advice. If you have that type of friend, consider them a care team member. The second member is a (2) therapist of some sort. The good thing about therapists is that they must keep everything you say to them confidential unless you plan on hurting yourself or someone else. And if you do, they are tasked with getting you some help. The other good thing is that they are there for you and can partner alongside you during the pregnancy. There are resources for therapists if you can’t afford them. Some non-profits provide free therapy, and more importantly, there is a number you can dial for someone to talk to at any point, and that number is 988. 988 is a free federal resource. There are other resources connected to this number, which we will share later. The third person is a (3) Primary Care Physician (PCP). Your PCP can ensure that you have had your physical and they have identified any conditions or issues that can impact your mood and put you in a position to be an unhealthy D​·​ally. Research shows that when the father is unable to manage his stress, he can negatively impact the mother of the child, which would negatively impact the child in the womb.

Some tests you should ask your PCP for are as follows: 1. Thyroid Test: Ask them to check your thyroid (your thyroid can impact your mood if there are undetected issues) 2. Pre-Diabetes Screening 3. Vitamin D Deficiency 4. Allergy Test 5. Prostate Test: If there is a history of prostate cancer in your family and you are in your mid or late 30s, ask about potential screenings or check-ups.

Remember, when your health is in good shape, and you know what is going on internally, you will remain prepared to be an D·​ally.

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federal policies we should be aware of You do not have to be perfect to be an D·​ally. a good D·​ally recognizes their mistakes and picks up where they left off.

Another assumption we want to address is that you do not have to be perfect to be an D·​ally. A good D​·​ally recognizes their mistakes and picks up where they left off, utilizing their care team. Remember, this is a learning journey. To remain in a learner mindset requires you to have your care team in place and be knowledgeable about your health so you can address any issues that arise in advance. Your D·​ally journey will be remarkable now that you are thinking about your care team, as we can’t be good to anyone unless we are good to ourselves. Now, let’s jump in, beginning with policies we should be aware of as allies.

Federal Polies to Be Aware of As an D​·​ally Research has shown that at least 80% of mothers who have died from complications during childbirth could still be alive today if those responsible for their care had intervened appropriately. The policies discussed in this section have been designed to ensure that every mother receives fair treatment and care. Let’s review some essential federal policies you should know about as an D​·a ​ lly.

Affordable Care Act (ACA): The ACA expanded access to healthcare, requiring insurance companies to cover maternity and newborn care.

It also prohibits discrimination based on health status. By expanding Medicaid and providing subsidies for health insurance, the ACA aims to reduce disparities in access to prenatal care for mothers of color, ensuring they receive the essential services during pregnancy and beyond.

The Maternal and Child Health Services Block Grant: This program funds states for maternal and child health services, focusing on improving mothers’ health outcomes. The MCH aims to address health disparities by funding programs targeting the needs of those who are not served adequately, including racial and ethnic minorities, to improve maternal health outcomes.

Title VII (7) of the Civil Rights Act prohibits employment discrimination based on race, color, religion, sex, or national origin. Title VII also protects mothers from workplace discrimination related to pregnancy, maternity leave, and childbirth. This is crucial for mothers of color, who may face additional biases in employment.

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federal policies & hospital governance at least 80% of mothers who have died from complication during childbirth could be alive today.

The Family and Medical Leave Act (FMLA) allows eligible employees to take unpaid, job-protected leave for specified family and medical reasons, including childbirth. While FMLA is a general protection, it supports mothers of color by providing them the right to take time off for birth and bonding, ensuring they can care for their newborn without fear of losing their jobs.

The 21st Century Cures Act includes provisions to address maternal health and improve access to maternal care services. The act aims to reduce maternal mortality rates among women of color by encouraging research into maternal health disparities and implementing programs to improve access to care.

Women, Infants, and Children (WIC) Program: WIC provides federal grants to states for supplemental nutrition for low-income pregnant women, new mothers, and young children. WIC is particularly beneficial for mothers of color, as it offers nutritional assistance, education, and breastfeeding support, which can lead to healthier pregnancies and better birth outcomes. During pregnancy, it is crucial to understand the policies and protocols that govern the care provided to those we care about. In this section, we will explore this topic further.

Hospital Governance Several essential policies and guidelines govern the care of mothers in hospitals during the birthing process. These policies aim to ensure safe, respectful, and equitable care for all mothers. As an D·​ally, be familiar with these guidelines. Here are some notable ones: The Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act (ACA): The ACA requires health plans to cover maternity and newborn care, including prenatal, labor, and delivery services. It ensures mothers have access to necessary medical care before, during, and after childbirth without excessive out-ofpocket costs.

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be familiar with these guidelines The Joint Commission Standards: The Joint Commission sets standards for healthcare organizations, including maternal care quality and safety, patient-centered care, and informed consent. Hospitals must implement policies ensuring that mothers receive appropriate information and support during the birthing process, contributing to better maternal and infant health outcomes.

Baby-Friendly Hospital Initiative (BFHI): Led by the World Health Organization (WHO) and UNICEF, BFHI promotes practices that support breastfeeding and optimal infant care. It encourages hospitals to adopt policies that protect and support breastfeeding, which is essential for the health of both the mother and the child.

The Family and Medical Leave Act (FMLA): Although not specific to hospital treatment, FMLA ensures that employees can take time off for childbirth and recovery. Supports mothers and fathers in accessing the necessary time for postpartum recovery without the fear of losing their jobs, indirectly impacting the care they receive in hospitals.

Center for Disease Control’s (CDC) Guidelines for Perinatal Quality Care: The CDC provides guidelines to prevent maternal morbidity and mortality.

Hospitals are encouraged to follow these guidelines to improve care standards for mothers during labor and delivery, addressing issues like hemorrhage and hypertensive disorders.

Patient Bill of Rights: Many hospitals have a Patient Bill of Rights outlining patients’ rights related to their care, including the right to participate in treatment decisions. Empower mothers to advocate for their preferences during childbirth.

Nurse Practice Acts: Each state has Nurse Practice Acts that regulate nursing practice, including care during labor and delivery. These acts ensure qualified professionals provide care to mothers during birthing, adhering to evidence-based practices and safety standards.

These policies work together to create a framework for overseeing hospital care during birthing. There are ways to report mistreatment.

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AVENUES TO REPORT MISTREATMENT .

Avenues to Report Mistreatment as An Ally As an D·​ ally and advocate, you can use various methods to report mistreatment and promote better care. If you suspect a mother is being mistreated, here are some steps to consider.

Hospital or Clinic Complaint Procedures: Most hospitals and clinics have a formal complaint process. As mentioned earlier, request information confidently on how to file a complaint directly with the facility. This process might involve filling out a form or speaking with a patient advocate.

Patient Advocate or Ombudsman: Many healthcare facilities have advocates or ombudspersons who help resolve complaints. Dads can contact these individuals to express their concerns about the treatment received. Ask the facility who their ombudsperson is.

State Medical Board: Each state has a medical board that regulates doctor’s practices. D·​allies can file a complaint providing treatment details, which can lead to investigations into the provider’s conduct.

Professional Associations: Organizations like the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists (ACOG) or the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP). Complaints can sometimes be reported to professional associations, which may investigate ethical concerns regarding their members.

Insurance Company: If the treatment issues are related to billing or care quality, D·allies can report their concerns to the health insurance provider.

The insurance company may conduct a review or act against the provider.

Typically, you will find the insurance provider’s information on the back of the person’s health insurance card and the company’s website.

State Health Department: State health departments oversee healthcare regulations and can act based on complaints about hospitals and providers. Dads can file a report if they believe there have been violations of patient rights or safety regulations.

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emotional support when reporting, stick to facts and avoid personal attacks.

The Joint Commission or The Commission of Accredited Rehabilitation Facilities: If The Joint Commission accredits the healthcare provider, D·allies can file a complaint about the quality of care or safety issues.

Complaints can be submitted online or through a toll-free number.

Social Media and Review Sites: Posting experiences on sites like Yelp, Facebook, or Google Reviews can raise awareness and prompt a response from the provider. While effective for sharing experiences, sticking to facts and avoiding personal attacks is essential. When the attacks are individual, the facility can advocate removing the posts. Given that your story and experience are significant, make sure you write the evidence professionally.

Legal Action: If mistreatment leads to significant harm, consulting with a lawyer specializing in medical malpractice or patient rights might be necessary. Legal professionals can guide filing a lawsuit or other actions based on the specific circumstances.

As an D·ally, keep detailed records of incidents, including dates, times, witnesses, and descriptions of the mistreatment. Family or friends’ support can be helpful when navigating the complaint process.

Emotional Support We think of active listening as the ability to be present and withhold judgment. For instance, like the person you go to when you need someone to hear you out. That person is good at listening and validating you when appropriate.

Sometimes, the adults in our lives did not do an excellent job at that because they wanted us to get it right. They cared so much that they tried to fix it. That did not work for many of us. Think about the person you would run away from when needing someone to listen to you, and be sure you do not copy that. Instead, copy the person you go to when you need an ear and reassurance. There will be moments when the mother in your life needs an ear. So, be prepared to provide that when they need it.

In doing so, use your care team when you need someone to listen to you.

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EMOTIONAL SUPPORT it is not the responsibility of the mothers in our lives to hold our trauma and be our therapists. it is the responsibility of our care team.

When you do this, you keep the stress and trauma outside of your household and with your care team, who are committed to holding it for you during this process. Consider it your role to protect the mother from anything that stresses them out, within your control. What is in your control is the way you handle your stress and cope with your trauma and fears. We tell our men that it is not the responsibility of the mothers in our lives to hold our trauma and be our therapists. However, it is the responsibility of your care team, and one or more members are paid to do their jobs on your behalf.

As you are monitoring your own mental health and observing the mental health of the mother(s) in your life during pregnancy, be aware of the following signs: Do they (or yourself) appear to care less about how they look more so than what is typical for them? (i.e., the transition from regularly bathing to not bathing at all for a substantial period) Are they (or yourself) in the mindset of always wanting to be alone?

Do they see and hear what you see and hear? (i.e., these can be voices or images that they or you can only see when in the company or others) Do they or you feel that their mind is not cooperating with them for various reasons?

Are they, or are you, more uncomfortable or paranoid (uneasy) around others? (This could include a heightened level of suspicion).

Are you or they not in the mood to feel often? (Loss of emotion, or feeling emotions too strongly often) Have they or you thought of harming yourself or feel that the world would be better off without you and considered a plan for this thinking? (If this happens, immediate support is needed, and the established Care Team (and 988, depending on the degree of this thinking and actions should be made aware).

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PHYSICAL SUPPORT ATTENDING DOCTOR APPOINTMENT SHOWS SUPPORT AND HELPS YOU UNDERSTAND THE PREGNANCY MILESTONES...

Physical Support If you can attend doctor appointments with the mother, please do so.

Note that you do not have to attend all of them, but there are certain appointments you can attend that will make a huge difference if you can join. The first introduction appointment to the OBGYN, nurse, midwife, or doula is essential. For our Black women, we want to ensure that the providers know that a male figure is present, involved, and wellresearched. You can set the tone here and ask all the questions you need to ask. Below, we have included a list of appointments you should attend to set the stage for your allyship journey and inform everyone that you are present and watching how they interact with and treat the mother of your children and the mother in your life.

As a rule of thumb, make sure you have at your disposal the following information about the mother and yourself if you are the father of the child (write it down and store it somewhere safe for you and the mother): Family History List: 1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

Grandmother (condition(s) and age of onset) Grandfather(condition(s) and age of onset) Mother (condition(s) and age of onset) Father (condition(s) and age of onset) Allergies (if any) for mother and father

Appointments to Attend: This appointment establishes the pregnancy framework and it includes initial health assessments. Attending shows support and helps dads understand early pregnancy milestones.

Regular Prenatal Check-ups (Monthly/Bi-Monthly): These visits monitor the mother’s health and the baby’s growth. Dads gain insight into the pregnancy’s progression and can ask questions alongside the mother.

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APPOINTMENTS TO attend as d·allies sET A GOAL TO MAKE IT TO 2 OR 3 APPOINTMENTS (PHYSICALLY OR VIRTUALLY) IF YOU CAN’T ATTEND THEM all.

Ultrasound Appointments: Ultrasounds are crucial for assessing the baby’s development, and they often reveal the baby’s sex. These moments strengthen bonding and excitement for the baby.

Blood Tests and Screenings: Understanding the results of tests (like genetic screenings) is essential. D·allies involvement reinforces partnership in health decision-making.

Glucose Screening: This test screens for gestational diabetes. D·allies presence emphasizes shared responsibility for managing health concerns.

Birthing Plan Discussion: Discussing the birth plan ensures both parents are aligned on preferences and expectations, fostering teamwork and understanding of roles during labor.

Childbirth and Parenting Classes: These classes equip both parents with knowledge about labor, delivery, and newborn care, helping to reduce anxiety and strengthen collaborative parenting skills.

Postpartum Check-up: Attending the mother’s postpartum visit helps D·allies understand recovery and the challenges she may face, allowing them to provide better support during this critical phase.

Try: The Attempt Matters: You may only be able to attend some of the appointments but try to make it to at least two or three. We recommend attending the introductory sessions so that they know you’re involved. While work committments and unforeseen challenges can arise, please do your best to participate.

Alternatives to Attending Physically Technology Involvement: We acknowledge that technology has made these appointments accessible despite your location. If able, utilize Facetime or a speaker to ensure you are in the room. The mom may be willing and able to bring you along in the room virtually. Sit with her and discuss your involvement and willingness to attend virtual appointments.

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QUESTIONS WE NEED TO ASK TO SET THE STAGE DO NOT BE AFRAID TO ASK THE TOUGH QUESTIONS....

A part of your plan can be to identify the appointments you can attend physically and those you can attend virtually. Stay on top of those appointments.

Recording Appointments/Conversations: If all else fails, encourage the mother to record (special moments such as ultrasounds) or through voice memos for essential appointments you cannot attend. If recordings are available, watch them and let them know your thoughts, observations, and excitement to ensure they know you are a present D·ally and care about this entire experience.

Questions We Need to Ask Here’s a list of essential questions that D·allies should consider asking during the initial prenatal visit to set a positive tone for the pregnancy journey: What are the key milestones to expect during pregnancy? Understanding the timeline can help D·allies engage and prepare for upcoming events.

What lifestyle changes should we make to ensure a healthy pregnancy?

D·allies can learn ways to support the mother in maintaining a healthy lifestyle together.

What prenatal vitamins or supplements are recommended for expectant parents? This ensures that both parents are aware of their nutritional needs.

What signs of potential complications should we monitor?

Recognizing warning signs enables proactive involvement in the mother’s health.

How can we best manage stress throughout the pregnancy? This opens a conversation about mental health resources for everyone involved.

What tests and screenings will be performed, and when? Knowing the testing schedule helps dads remain informed and engaged.

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questions to ask keep up with the appointments. the presence of a D·ALLY IS TRANSFORMATIVE.

How can we best manage stress throughout the pregnancy? This also opens a conversation about mental health resources for for everyone involved.

What tests and screenings will be performed, and when? Knowing the testing schedule helps D·allies remain informed and engaged.

Can you explain the birthing options available? This will set the stage for discussing preferences and planning for labor and delivery.

What resources or classes do you recommend for new parents? D·allies should consider exploring ways to learn more about pregnancy and parenting.

How can we ensure a good connection with the baby during pregnancy?

This question encourages discussions on bonding activities for everyone involved.

What can we expect in terms of postpartum care and recovery? Gaining insight into postpartum expectations prepares everyone for the transition after birth.

As a provider, if you or a relative were experiencing a pregnancy, what resources would you want to learn about, and why? We encourage you to share any valuable resources, including names of organizations or information on where to find them.

Accountability Questions to Ask You must ask, what reporting process should we be aware of if, at any point, my partner feels you or a staff member are not listening to her?

Afterward, ask the following question: Do you have any written information about your internal process? They will inform you that you can report them through their state’s medical licensing board or the Department of Public Health.

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preparation & the small things ACCOUNTABILITY is a two-way street.

If this is the answer, ask the following: Can you provide me with the name of the licensing board?

Can you also provide me with their contact information or website?

Please provide your license number in case. (If you do not feel comfortable asking for this, you can utilize their name when making the report.)

Hospital and Local Office They most likely tell you their office’s reporting policy. If this is the case, ask the following: Can you provide us with a copy of the protocol or policy? Where can we find it?

Are these matters handled within your compliance office?

Be sure that you always keep this information present. You may need it.

Involvement in Preparation Planning for the baby’s arrival (nursery set-up, baby shopping): You want to ensure that you play a role in the plan’s development. Given your specific circumstances, there may be things you cannot account for, but for starters, let’s talk about the small things and the bag for the hospital.

The more prepared we are, the better off we will be at every stage.

Small Things Grocery Shopping & Meal Prep: Do your best to be involved in grocery shopping. Some folks go grocery shopping twice or at least once a month. If you need to become more familiar with the things the mother enjoys, ask her for a list. She can write it down or text it to you. Store that list somewhere safely so you can have access to it, and surprise her from time to time.

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the small things .

Please pay attention to any changes in her appetite, sudden snack, or food interest prompted by the pregnancy. Now, there are certain things that one may enjoy based on their household, but to keep it simple, always include, when shopping: (1) vegetables, (2) fruit of your and the mother’s liking, (3) plenty of water, (4) juice, (5) bread, pay attention to any bread preferences—here taken into interest bread types (i.e., wheat, white, gluten-free, etc.). You may know this; ask the mother, and they’ll tell you.

Note, here are some foods that may not be good for the baby during birth but keep these in mind. They may be good, only in moderation, but you should keep an eye out for them and encourage minimal use whenever possible: Raw or Undercooked Seafood: This includes sushi and oysters, which can harbor harmful bacteria and viruses that risk your baby’s health.

Raw or Undercooked Eggs: Avoid dishes like homemade mayonnaise or runny eggs, as they can increase the risk of salmonella, which can be harmful during pregnancy.

Processed Meats: Deli meats and hot dogs should be heated thoroughly to reduce the risk of listeria, which can have severe implications for the baby.

Unpasteurized Dairy Products: Cheese and milk that are not pasteurized can contain harmful bacteria, so it’s best to opt for pasteurized options to minimize the risk.

Certain Fish: Fish with high mercury levels, such as swordfish, sharks, and king mackerel, should be avoided as they can harm fetal development.

Highly Caffeinated Beverages: Moderation is essential when consuming caffeine, with studies suggesting limiting intake to 200 mg/day (about one 12 oz cup of coffee).

Alcohol: There is no safe level of alcohol during pregnancy; consumption can lead to fetal alcohol syndrome.

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the small things Don’t take it personally if the mother doesn’t immediately accept your suggestions..

High-Sugar Foods: Excessive sugar intake can result in excessive weight gain and increase the risk of gestational diabetes.

Artificial Sweeteners: Limit products with high levels of aspartame, saccharin, and sucralose to avoid potential risks.

Excess Salt and Processed Foods: High sodium intake can lead to high blood pressure and water retention, which can be detrimental during pregnancy.

Certain Herbal Teas and Supplements: Some herbs can be harmful during pregnancy, so always consult a healthcare provider before use.

Feverfew: It may affect blood clotting and could trigger contractions.

Ginseng: Can alter hormone levels and may lead to complications.

Ginger: Generally safe in moderation, but excessive amounts can lead to digestive issues.

Sage: Contains thujone, which can be harmful in large quantities.

Rosemary: Safe as a culinary herb, but excessive amounts may stimulate the uterus.

Peppermint: Generally safe in moderation, but excessive consumption could trigger heartburn.

Hibiscus: This may lower blood pressure and cause uterus contrations.

Black Cohosh: Used for labor induction; can stimulate uterine contractions and should be avoided.

Red Clover: May affect hormone levels; should be used with caution.

Aloe Vera: Certain preparations may have laxative effects or stimulate uterine contractions 26

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the small things .

Chamomile: Small amounts are generally safe, but excessive consumption can lead to allergic reactions or complications.

Licorice Root: High amounts can affect hormone levels and should be used carefully.

Unwashed Fruits and Vegetables: Always wash produce thoroughly before consumption to minimize the risk of exposure to harmful bacteria.

This list may complicate shopping, but take your time with it. The key is moderation; everything is good in moderation. However, some things are best left untouched. You can live for nine months without these items. It’s important to consider the cravings that come with pregnancy.

Sometimes, you may need to compromise, as expectant mothers often have specific desires they want to satisfy, regardless of advice. If this happens, it’s perfectly fine to suggest that she gently be mindful of her intake. If approached with care and caution, she will listen eventually.

Remember not to take it personally if she doesn’t immediately follow your suggestions; pregnancy is challenging for everyone involved, so be aware of your emotional reactions to her decisions.

Now, let’s talk about the ‘Notorious Bag.’ Having one prepared in advance can make things much more manageable.

The Notorious Bag The bag for the stay at the hospital or birthing center (or even if you are doing a home birth) is extremely important. You can help as an ally by preparing a bag and letting mom know there is one ready, just in case.

Please open the door so she can add anything she wants to the bag.

She can tell you what she wants added, and you can make it happen.

Here is why the bag is important and what we need to include. The bag can significantly reduce stress and allow you to focus on supporting the mother during the birth of the baby.

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THE BAG for stay The bag for THE stay at the hospital or birthing center, even for a home birth, is very important.

Here’s a comprehensive list of items to include in your hospital bag: Comfortable Clothing: Pack comfortable clothes for a few days, pajamas or sleepwear, and an outfit for the journey home.

Toiletries: Items include a toothbrush, toothpaste, deodorant, shampoo, conditioner, skincare products, and a hairbrush or comb.

Snacks and Drinks: Stay energized with healthy snacks like granola bars, nuts, and dried fruit, as well as a water bottle.

Comfort Items: Bring a travel pillow or neck pillow, a blanket for added comfort, and a good book or magazine to pass the time.

Phone and Charging Equipment: Don’t forget your phone for updates and photos, along with a charger and portable power bank.

Essential Documents: Bring insurance information, hospital registration paperwork, and necessary medical records (for example, birth certificates, health records, allergies documentation, medication list, etc.).

Support Items for Partner: Pack a comfortable outfit or any additional items your partner may need, along with a list of people to contact after the birth.

Camera or Video Equipment: Bring a camera or video equipment to capture the precious first moments with your baby.

Pillow and Eye Mask: Adds comfort during long labor and hospital stays.

Being prepared with the ‘Notorious Bag,’ a well-packed hospital bag, ensures you can entirely focus on supporting your partner and welcoming your child into the world. Stay organized, calm, and present when it matters most!

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nursery set-up .

A nursery does not necessarily have to be set up in a different room. You can also have a nursery corner in the room where the mother is. If you have all the essential items that belong in the nursery, you’ll be okay. As an D·​ally, you can support ensuring that the items are present, and if there is a need for a replacement, you can support obtaining it. Here is a list of things to consider when creating a nursery room or corner: 1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

6.

7.

8.

Crib or bassinet Mattress and waterproof cover Bedding (sheets, blankets) Changing table or pad Diapers and wipes Baby monitor Dresser or storage units Nightlight

Essentials for The First Few Years 1. Baby clothing (onesies, sleepers) 2. Feeding supplies (bottles, formula/breast pump) 3. Highchair 4. Bibs and burp cloths 5. Pacifiers 6. Baby carrier or wrap 7. Stroller 8. Car seat 9. Bath supplies (tub, towels, soap) 10. Toys (age-appropriate and safe) Birthing and Parenting Class Support Some classes can be supportive of the birthing and parenting process.

Note, although you may not be able to make it to them due to work, it is imperative to be aware of the various forms of classes that can be useful. Only cancel yourself out of the equation if your circumstances do not allow you to participate as much as you want. Here are some alternative measures you can take. Find an option that you want to try and give yourself a shot.

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birthing and parenting class support there are various forms of birthng and parenting classes....

Explore Online Classes: Check out virtual classes and webinars tailored for expecting parents. Numerous organizations offer insightful parenting and birthing classes you can conveniently access from home.

Dive into Books and Guides: Delve into informative parenting books that cover essential topics related to pregnancy, childbirth, and child-rearing.

They can provide invaluable knowledge and guidance.

Tune into Podcasts and Videos: Engage with parenting podcasts or educational videos on platforms like YouTube. These are great resources for learning about childbirth and parenting; you can absorb the information at your own pace.

Join Support Communities: Connect with online or local parenting support groups; these can be precious spaces where dads can share experiences and learn from others navigating similar journeys.

Mobile Apps: Explore parenting apps that offer an array of resources, tips, and advice on pregnancy and early parenting. These can be convenient tools for staying informed and organized.

Learn from Others: Engage with other parents or family members who have experienced parenthood and can offer insights and valuable advice based on their own experiences.

Practice Together: Look for practical ways to apply parenting skills at home, such as diapering dolls and babies in your family or practicing soothing techniques. It’s a fun way to prepare for the real deal.

Stay Active and Engaged: Be present throughout the pregnancy.Your involvement can foster a stronger connection and understanding between you and the mother you are standing beside.

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understanding the birthing process .

Hospital Birth • • •

Environment: Medical facility with access to healthcare professionals and resources.

Pros: Immediate medical support, pain relief options, advanced technologies.

Cons: It may involve more interventions and less control over the environment.

Home Birth: • • •

Environment: Birth takes place at home with midwives or qualified professionals.

Pros: Comfortable and familiar setting, more control over the birth experience.

Cons: Limited access to emergency medical care requires a healthy pregnancy.

Birth Center: • • •

Environment: A facility designed for childbirth, often with a more homely feel than hospitals.

Pros: Focus on natural birth, lower intervention rates, and available qualified staff.

Cons: May need immediate access to hospital services.

Water Birth: •

Environment: Birth occurs in various settings in a hot tub of water.

• •

Pros: It can provide pain relief and promote relaxation for the mother.

Cons: It may not be suitable for all pregnancies; medical assistance is limited in some settings.

There are various ways D·allies can be helpful during and beyond the pregnancy, and most of these things we will list do not cost a thing. They are free of charge.

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THINGS D·ALLIES CAN DO during labor/Delivery d·ALLIES play an essential role during pregnancy and after birth.

Provide Comfort: Offer massages or help with breathing techniques.

Advocate: Speak up for your partner’s wishes and preferences. Stay Focused: Keep the environment calm and positive. Provide Snacks: Have nourishment available for your partner. Encourage Hydration: Remind and help your partner stay hydrated. Be Present: Hold their hand, maintain eye contact, and stay engaged. Document the Experience: Take photos or jot down essential moments if appropriate.

Supporting Moms Morally • • • • •

Listen Actively: Be attentive to her feelings and thoughts throughout labor.

Encourage: Remind her of her strength and capabilities.

Stay Positive: Inject positivity into the setting, like offering encouraging words.

Stay Calm: Your calm presence can help ease her stress.

Affirm Choices: Support her decisions about pain relief options or labor positions.

Components of a Birthing Plan • • • • •

Introduction: Briefly explain your priorities and hopes for the birth.

Labor Preferences: Sample: “I prefer to labor as long as possible at home, and I would like to use a birthing ball.”

Pain Management: Sample: “I would like to explore natural methods first, with the option for medication if necessary.”

Delivery Preferences: Sample: “I want skin-to-skin contact immediately after birth.”

Post Birth Plans: Ex. ‘I want to cut the cord.’

Postpartum Support Some may find the word “postpartum” confusing. It simply refers to the moment after the child has been born. Remember that when someone says ‘postpartum,’ you know what they are referring to. Next, we will discuss some things to remember when remaining aware of the challenges that can arise for the dad or mother during this process.

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RECOGNIZING POSTPARTUM CHANGES It is important to understand the signs and regularly ask the mother or other parent how they are feeling.

To recognize the challenges, you must know what is happening. This requires you to understand the signs and regularly ask the mother or other parent how they feel. In doing so, please pay close attention to dramatic mood changes and their behavior. For instance, if they are not a regular crier but suddenly begin to cry consistently, this is a sign you want to note and keep a close eye on as it could be a serious indicator of something more severe. Here are some signs to look for in the mother as an D·​ally.

Signs to Look For: • • • • •

Persistent sadness or crying Excessive worry or anxiety Changes in sleep patterns (insomnia or sleeping too much) Withdrawn from family and friends Loss of interest in activities

How to Help: • • •

Listen Without Judgment: Provide a safe space for her to express feelings.

Encourage Professional Help: Gently suggest talking to a doctor or therapist.

Help Manage Responsibilities: Take on tasks to lessen her burden.

Have your care team and the mother’s care team numbers on speed dial to report any changes that can interfere with their functioning. 9-1-1 is most certainly a go-to for extreme observations. For less severe observations, utilize the care team and 9-8-8. They can provide insight or support when it is applicable on how to proceed.

Remember, as D·​allies, we are not by ourselves. The birthing process and afterward is a team sport.

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conditions: during the pregnancy KNOW THE SIGNS SO YOU CAN BE PREPARED AT ALL TIMES....

There are conditions associated with the signs you may see, and we will do a quick walkthrough now. Please remember that there may be others not listed here, but generally, these are some of the main ones you should know about. Consult the mother’s doctor about other conditions that you should know about as an D·​ally. For this section, we will share these conditions based on whether they occur during pregnancy or postpartum and some general recommendations for both categories.

During Pregnancy Morning Sickness (Nausea and Vomiting) •

Recommendations: Eat small, frequent meals, stay hydrated, and consider taking ginger or vitamin B6 supplements.

Gestational Diabetes •

Recommendations: Regularly check blood sugar levels, maintain a nutritious diet, and exercise regularly.

Hypertension (High Blood Pressure) •

Recommendations: Regular check-ups, manage stress, monitor salt intake, and follow a prescribed treatment plan.

Anemia •

Recommendations: Increase foods rich in iron (like greens) and consider iron supplements as a doctor advises.

Preeclampsia •

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Recommendations: Regular prenatal visits to monitor blood pressure and urine protein levels are recommended; sometimes, bed rest or medication is needed.

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conditions: during postpartum .

Postpartum Depression (PPD) •

Recommendations: This is a prevalent condition among mothers and can also impact you as an D·​ally and father. If it does, seek help from your care team and the mother’s team, explore therapy, support groups, and medication if prescribed, and maintain open communication with loved ones.

Postpartum Anxiety •

Recommendations: Consider counseling or medication and practice relaxation techniques like deep breathing and mindfulness. As shared above, be prepared to call 988.

Breastfeeding Challenges •

Recommendations: Consult with a lactation consultant, ensure proper latch, and explore feeding options if necessary.

Urinary Incontinence •

Recommendations: Include performing pelvic floor exercises, known as Kegels, engaging in bladder training, and consulting a healthcare provider for further advice.

C-section Recovery Issues •

Recommendations: Follow care instructions, avoid heavy lifting, and keep the incision clean; consult a doctor if any complications arise.

Urgent Maternal Warning Signs Some important warning signs to pay attention to include: • • • • 35

Persistent headaches that worsen over time Dizziness or fainting Suicidal thoughts Changes in vision The D·​Ally Guide

urgent maternal warning signs Be prepared so you won’t have to get ready.

The more prepared we are, the better we can act on behalf of the mothers we love and care for.

• • • • • • • • • • • •

A fever of 100.4 degrees or higher Difficulty breathing Chest pain Rapid heartbeat Severe belly pain that does not go away Severe nausea and vomiting (different from morning sickness) Absence of baby’s movements or significant decrease in activity Vaginal bleeding or fluid leakage during pregnancy Vaginal bleeding or fluid leakage after pregnancy Swelling and redness in the legs Extreme swelling of the hands or feet Overwhelming fatigue

If you notice these signs while with the mother, immediately contact the healthcare provider or care team for support. If any of these signs occur after the birth, call 911 and inform them that: “The mother gave birth on [Date], and they are experiencing [list the signs].”

General Recommendations for Both Phases • • • • •

Stay Active: As a healthcare provider advises, engage in safe physical activities.

Nutrition: Maintain a balanced diet rich in vitamins and minerals.

Care Team: Keep your care team on standby and the company of your loved ones if available.

Regular Check-ups: Keep all prenatal and postpartum appointments to monitor health.

Advocate: Keep those numbers nearby so you can intervene. .

Physical Recovery As D·allies, you can help with tasks that require physical activity. The more you do in this area, the less we place the mother and health of the child at risk. Physical activity is good for the mother, but too much of anything can be dangerous, especially during the pregnancy.

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household tasks D·ALLIES CAN HELP WITH .

In this section, we identify some tasks that D·​allies can help with.

Household Tasks D·​allies Can Help With: Cooking Meals: If you need to learn to cook, consider using pre-paid meal service companies. These companies can either prepare meals and send them to you or provide cooking ingredients and instructions so you can prepare them yourself. We will share a list of these companies later.

Cleaning the House: Cleaning your home can include tasks like washing dishes. If you dislike washing dishes, consider using paper plates and disposable utensils made of plastic or wood for easy cleanup.

Doing Laundry: Laundry can be challenging without clear instructions. If you are unable to wash your clothes, consider seeking help from a laundry service that specializes in washing and often delivering your garments.

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the worst case scenario A CRITICAL CASE EVERYONE SHOULD BE AWARE OF IS ROE V. WADE.

A critical case that everyone should be aware of is Roe v. Wade. At the time, Texas had strict laws against abortion, allowing it only when a mother’s life was at risk. A woman named Jane Roe, who was a single pregnant woman, sued Henry Wade, the local district attorney who enforced this law. Roe argued that the law was unconstitutional.

On January 22, 1973, the Supreme Court made a landmark decision that significantly impacted women’s reproductive rights. They ruled that women have a constitutional right to choose abortion under the Due Process Clause of the 14th Amendment. This decision not only legalized abortions but also made them safer and more accessible while also allowing states to impose restrictions as pregnancy progresses, primarily focusing on maternal health and fetal viability.

Justice’s decision: “We . . . conclude that the right of personal privacy includes the abortion decision, but that this right is not unqualified and must be considered against important state interests in regulation.”

The Overturning of Roe v. Wade On June 24, 2022, Roe v. Wade was overturned in the case of Dobbs v. Jackson Women’s Health Organization. This case challenged a Mississippi law known as the Gestational Age Act, which prohibited most abortions after 15 weeks, except in medical emergencies or cases of fetal abnormalities.

Justice Samuel Alito declared that the original Roe v. Wade decision was “egregiously wrong” and must be overturned. As a result, many states immediately imposed stricter abortion laws or outright bans.

Dissenting Justices, including Stephen Breyer, Sonia Sotomayor, and Elena Kagan, , expressed their concerns, stating: “This Decision means that young women today will come of age with fewer rights than their mothers and grandmothers… from the very moment of fertilization, a woman has no rights to speak of. A state can force her to bring a pregnancy to term even at the steepest personal and familial costs. With sorrow—for this Court, but more, for the many millions of American women who have today lost a fundamental constitutional protection—we dissent.”

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WHY DO WOMEN CONSIDER abortion? .

In summary, the Roe v. Wade case played a crucial role in establishing reproductive rights, and its overturning has significant implications for women’s rights in America today.

Considering Abortion There are various reasons why a woman, or anyone, might consider an abortion beyond simply not being ready to have a child.

Here are a few additional reasons why abortions may be considered.

• •

• • • • •

Financial Constraints: Worries about the financial ability to raise a child can lead to the decision to have an abortion.

Relationship Issues: Challenges in a partner’s relationship or lack of support from the father may influence this choice, including issues about domestic violence and feeling unsafe.

Health Concerns: Risks to the woman’s physical or mental health can necessitate an abortion.

Fetal Abnormalities: Severe congenital or genetic issues diagnosed in the fetus may prompt this decision.

Pregnancy from Rape or Incest: Instances of sexual violence may lead women to seek an abortion.

Mental Health: Concerns about coping with the emotional toll of pregnancy and parenting can influence the decision.

Timing: The realization that the current life circumstances are not suitable for having a child can guide the decision.

The States Affected The Most If you are a D·ally in the states below, we have your back and have included some resources in our resource directory. Also, please do not hesitate to contact us if anything comes up. In short, keep a close eye on the women in your life who are pregnant and considering pregnancy, as medical complications or other reasons to consider abortions can arise.

You want to ensure the rights of the women in your life are honored. Even if they are not, help is out there, and we can direct you accordingly. Next, we will outline the status of each test concerning abortion restrictions and accessibility.

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abortions: banned & restricted ABORTION IS HEALTHCARE.. ~ April L.

These states have banned abortions altogether: Idaho, South Dakota, Texas, Oklahoma, Missouri, Arkansas, Louisiana, Indiana, Kentucky, Tennessee, Mississippi, Alabama, and West Virginia banned abortions altogether.

Severely Restricted Nebraska – Bans on or around 12 weeks, parental consent is required, and there is a 24-hour waiting period between state-mandated abortion counseling and obtaining an abortion.

Iowa – Ban on or around 6 weeks, parental consent is required, and there is a 24-hour waiting period between state-mandated abortion counseling and obtaining an abortion. A person must make at least two trips to a health center to receive an abortion.

Florida – Ban on or around 6 weeks, parental consent is required, and there is a 24-hour waiting period between state-mandated abortion counseling and obtaining an abortion. A person must make at least two trips to a health center to receive an abortion.

Georgia – Ban on or around 6 weeks, parental consent is required, and there is a 24-hour waiting period between state-mandated abortion counseling and obtaining an abortion.

South Carolina – Ban on or around 6 weeks, parental consent is required, and there is a 24-hour waiting period between state-mandated abortion counseling and obtaining an abortion.

North Carolina – Ban on or around 12 weeks, parental consent is required, and there is a 72-hour waiting period between state-mandated abortion counseling and obtaining an abortion. A person must make at least two trips to a health center to receive an abortion.

Arizona –Ban on or around 15 weeks, parental consent is required, and there is a 24-hour waiting period between state-mandated abortion counseling and obtaining an abortion.

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abortions banned & restricted .

A person must make at least two trips to a health center to receive an abortion.

Utah – Ban on or around 18 weeks, parental consent is required, and there is a 72-hour waiting period between state-mandated abortion counseling and obtaining an abortion. A person must make at least two trips to a health center to receive an abortion.

In the following two categories, abortions are pretty accessible.

Some Restrictions Wisconsin – Ban on or around 20 weeks, parental consent is required, and there is a 24-hour waiting period between state-mandated abortion counseling and obtaining an abortion. A person must make at least two trips to a health center to receive an abortion.

Pennsylvania – Parental consent is required, and there is a 24-hour waiting period between state-mandated abortion counseling and obtaining an abortion.

Mostly Accessible North Dakota – Parental involvement is required, and there is a 24hour waiting period between state-mandated abortion counseling and obtaining an abortion.

Kansas – Ban on or around 20 weeks, and parental involvement is required.

Ohio – Ban on or around 20 weeks, and parental involvement is required.

Virginia –Parental involvement is required.

New Hampshire – Parental notification is required (parents must be informed before an abortion is performed).

Massachusetts – Parental consent is required.

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the thurman effect We share this information to say Amber knew a man, whether it was the father of her child, her father, or a male cousin who’s a father; what would be different if they new what was going on during the pregnancy and had resources at thier fingertips.

Amber Nicole Thurman experienced a dire infection that a hospital in Atlanta could have rectified, but due to the laws in Georgia, they could have been punished for treating her. So, they did not remove the fetal tissue from her body when she showed up at Piedmont Henry Hospital.

Amber, in desperation, attempted to save herself and turned to abortion pills. A doctor could have intervened with the procedure the state of Georgia deemed illegal. As she waited in a hospital bed in pain with her 6-year-old son nearby, the doctors waited while watching her infection spread instead of intervening. The doctor decided to operate 20 hours later, but it was too late. Amber had died.

We share this information to say Amber knew a man, whether it was the father of her child, her father, or a male cousin who’s a father; what would be different if they knew what was going on during the pregnancy and had resources at their fingertips to intervene and get Amber the help she needed, even if it required going to another state. Our call to action is to ensure that we, as men, are all prepared for these changing times to intercede on behalf of the women in our lives whenever and wherever we see the need arise. At this juncture of our country’s existence, we must stand in the gap for each other like our lives depend on it because it does.

We are all the fathers of the children coming up today. As such, it is not just one person’s responsibility to ‘Act a Fool.’ It is all of our responsibility.

Resources In the next section, we will provide you with a toolbox of resources to support both the mother and yourself as her D·​ally and advocate, as well as for your family. Please note that this is a preliminary introduction and serves as an added resource to supplement the resource page we have developed on our website at www.fathersuplift.org. Once on the site, click the ‘Menu’ tab, then scroll down to the ‘Find a Resource’ tab. Clicking on this tab will take you to the resource page, where you can filter resources based on your interests.

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Amber Nicole Thurman with her son.

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resources for D·ALLIES and a breakdown of professionals ready to support 45

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CHAPTER TWO

RESOURCES EVERY d·ally needs a toolbox of resources. in this section we will share a few.

988 Lifeline: Like calling an emergency hotline (911) regarding accessibility, 998 was created to be an immediate resource for crisis support services around mental health support and care when needed. The great thing about this number is that anyone can use it at any time of the day. You may not be sure when you call them, but that is okay; call anyway. They will welcome every call they receive gracefully. Below, you’ll find some crucial facts about this phone number.

National Alliance on Mental Health’s (NAMI) Crisis Can’t-Wait Campaign: There is a need for individuals within the black/African Ancestry communities to be resources on how to access mental health care at various levels. As an ally, it will be imperative that you are aware of these resources. You can amplify this vital message nationally by knowing the signs to look out for, how to use 988. (while sharing this information with others), and your care journey. Again, your awareness as an ally can be a great asset to the mothers in your life while you are ensuring they are treated fairly. According to NAMI, the number of anxiety and depression reports has increased dramatically since 2021, leading to increases in suicide rate (after 7 years of reported declines).

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resources Suicide is one of the leading (second) causes of death for youth ages 10-14 and 25-34 (NAMI). Given the shortage of providers, those reporting issues are often left without care, more so than ever since Mental Health has replaced COVID-19 as a top healthcare concern for adults in the U.S. National Maternal Mental Health Hotline: The National Maternal Health Hotline is a resource for mothers and allies supporting mothers. It is accessible 24 hours a day and Free of charge to anyone who calls or texts. The counselors will listen to you and help connect you to resources through referrals as you need; note that your information will remain confidential when calling or texting, so no worries about whether your identity will go public. It won’t. This resource is also available in 60 languages.

Maternal and Infant Health Mapping Tool: This tool allows you to develop maternal and infant health maps based on your home. You can find information about infant mortality rates in your area, deaths due to disparity, and more. This site was created to provide a visual of what is happening in your region as an ally and advocate.

Maternal and Child Health Bureau Maternal Health Programs: These programs and resources aim to reduce maternal mortality and improve maternal and infant mental health for all, including those communities that are typically not acknowledged. This website provides a holistic view of what the federal government is attempting to do to address these issues. It provides information about its programs, partners, and research briefs—great information for you as an ally.

Health Centers: Health centers are local and can support medical, dental. and other health-related things. An important fact is that health centers provide care to more than 30.5 million people in close to 15,000 sites nationwide, and about 90% of those they care for have incomes less than 200% of the federal poverty level (Health Resources & Services Administration, 2024). Many of these health centers offer care in different languages and provide transportation if needed. Many of them are funded partially by the Health Resources & Services Administration, which can also inform you if, at any point, you believe the mothers in your life are not being cared for appropriately during pregnancy.

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professionals ready for the pregnancy .

Birthing Professionals: Here is a list of the professionals who support the mother during the pregnancy. They should also be communicative and responsive if you are the biological father or a father/father figure in the mother’s life and permission has been granted to share information with you. We wanted to ensure you have an introduction to who could be involved in the pregnancy and their role.

Doula: These experts provide physical, emotional, and informational support while offering guidance throughout the pregnancy.

Obstetrician: These experts specialize in pregnancy and childbirth and will guide you through the process.

Gynecologists: They focus on women’s reproductive health, providing care before, during, and after pregnancy.

Midwife: These compassionate professionals offer care during pregnancy, childbirth, and the postpartum period, often focusing on natural childbirth.

Maternal-Fetal Medicine Specialist: For more complex pregnancies, these specialists are trained to handle high-risk situations.

Nurses: Their responsibilities include conducting regular check-ups to monitor the health of both mother and baby, offering valuable guidance on nutrition and prenatal care, and addressing any concerns that may arise during the pregnancy journey. Additionally, they assist with essential screenings, tests, and preparation for delivery. Moreover, nurses ensure that mothers receive the necessary resources and referrals to guarantee optimal care throughout the entire process.

Family Physician: Your go-to for general care, including prenatal care and mother support.

Perinatologists: Like maternal-fetal medicine specialists, they focus on managing high-risk pregnancies.

Lactation Consultant: These caring individuals provide invaluable support for breastfeeding and nursing after childbirth.

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birthing professionals

Social Workers: They can support the mental health of the mother and family members. This person can also help identify resources and make referrals as needed. Understanding who’s who in the healthcare field can help ensure you receive the best care possible during this critical time in your life.

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d·allY accountability toolkit DO NOT HESTIATE TO LET US KNOW HOW WE CAN SUPPORT YOU..

In this guide, we have provided the contact information for each licensing board in the United States. Additionally, you will find website directories for the medical and nursing professions below. To learn more about the boards in the state where the practitioners you may need to report are practicing, click on the link to locate your state. From there, you can call the appropriate board to inquire or file a report. Please note that some boards require complaints to be submitted electronically; this is often the case for medical boards. In some instances, the state may have a complaint phone line available for reporting instead of requiring paperwork. We have included those numbers in our list for your reference, where applicable.

It’s important to note the term “Osteopathic” Medicine in the list.

Osteopathic doctors (DOs) are still considered medical doctors. There are key differences between traditional medical doctors (MDs) and osteopathic doctors (DOs). While MDs focus on diagnosing and treating diseases primarily through medications and surgery, DOs take a holistic approach that emphasizes the body’s ability to heal itself.

Both MDs and DOs can practice and prescribe medication in all U.S. states; however, MDs tend to have broader international recognition. MDs frequently pursue various specialties, including surgery, whereas DOs generally focus on primary care and preventive medicine. Ultimately, both types of doctors are qualified to provide medical care, but they differ in their training and philosophical approach.

As always, do not hesitate to let us know how we can support you during your advocacy journey! ~ Fathers’ UpLift

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medical board contact (complaints) .

Federation of State Medical Boards (FSMB) Note: (Click on the ‘File a Complaint’ icon next to the state to learn more about submission when you’re ready to inquire or research further).

Website: https://www.fsmb.org/contact-a-state-medical-board/#AK In the upcoming section, we will share essential contact information for each state to support your advocacy efforts when reporting medical professionals as necessary. Remember, reporting is not merely an obligation—it’s a powerful way to ensure your voice is heard and to confront injustices as they arise. The lives of mothers and those who care for them are valuable, and their experiences deserve to be acknowledged.

Let us come together to amplify their stories and advocate for change that truly matters. Your engagement can make a significant difference, D·​ally.

Medical Boards (Contact List) Alabama Medical Board: Alabama Board of Medical Examiners E-mail: bme@albme.org Phone: (334) 242-4116 Fax: (334) 242-4155 Address: 848 Washington Avenue Montgomery AL, 36104 Alaska Medical Board: Alaska State Medical Board E-mail: medicalboard@alaska.gov Phone: 907-465-2550 Fax: (not public) Address: 333 Willoughby Ave., 9th Juneau, AK 99801

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Arizona Medical Board: Arizona Medical Board E-mail: https://azmd.gov/Misc/ContactUSEmail?board=MD&contactType=3 Phone: 480-551-2700 / Toll Free: -1877-255-2212 Fax: 480-551-2704 Address: 1740 West Adams Street, Suite 4000, Phoenix, AZ 85007 Medical Board: Medical Board of Osteopathic Examiners in Medicine and Surgery Phone: 480-657-7703 Fax: 480-657-7715 Address: 1740 West Adams Street, Suite 2410 Phoenix, AZ 85007 Arkansas Medical Board: Arkansas State Medical Board E-mail: https://healthy.arkansas.gov/resources/about-adh/contact-us/ Phone: 501-296-1802 Fax: 501-296-1805 Address: Victory Bldg., 1401 West Capitol Avenue, Suite 340, Little Rock, AR 72201 California Medical Board: Medical Board of California Phone: 916-263-2382 / Toll Free: 1-800-633-2322 Fax: 916-263-2387 Address: 2005 Evergreen Street, Suite 1200 Sacramento, CA 95815-5401 Medical Board: Osteopathic Medical Board of California Phone: 916-928-8390 Fax: 916-928-8392 Address: 1300 National Drive, Suite 150 Sacramento, CA 95834-1991

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medical board contact (complaints) .

Colorado Medical Board: Colorado Medical Board E-mail: dora_dpo_licensing@state.co.us Phone: 303-894-7800 Fax: 303-894-7692 Address: 1560 Broadway, Suite 1350 Denver, CO 80202 Connecticut Medical Board: Connecticut Medical Examining Board E-mail: not public Phone: 1-800-842-0038 Fax: 860-509-8457 Address: P.O. Box 340308 Hartford, CT 06134-0308 Physical Address: 410 Capitol Ave., MS #13PHO Hartford, CT 06134 Delaware Medical Board: Delaware Board of Medical Licensure and Discipline E-mail: customerservice.dpr@deleware.gov Phone: 302-744-4500 Fax: 302-739-2711 Address: 861 Silver Lake Blvd., Suite 203, Cannon Building, Dover, DE 19904 Florida Medical Board: Florida Board of Medicine E-mail: MQA.ConsumerServices@flhealth.gov Phone: 850-245-4131 Fax: 850-488-9325 Address: Department of Health 4052 Bald Cypress Way, BIN #C03 Tallahassee, FL 32399-3253

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Medical Board: Florida Board of Osteopathic Medicine Phone: 850-245-4161 Fax: 850-921-6184 Address: 4052 Bald Cypress Way, #C-06, Tallahassee, FL 32399-3256 Georgia Medical Board: Georgia Composite Medical Board Phone: 404-656-3913 Fax: 404-656-9723 Address: 2 MLK Jr. Drive S.E. East Tower, 11th Floor Atlanta, GA 30334 Guam Guam Board of Medical Examiners Phone: 671-735-7404 Fax: 671-735-7413 Address: 194 Hernan Cortez Avenue Terlaje Professional Building, Suite 213 Hagatna, GU 96910 Hawaii Medical Board: Hawaii Medical Board E-mail: medical@dcca.hawaii.gov Phone: 808-586-2699 Fax: 808-586-2689 Address: Department of Commerce and Consumer Affairs P.O. Box 3469 Honolulu, HI 96801 Mailing Address: Address:335 Merchant Street, Room 301 Honolulu, HI 96801 Idaho Medical Board: Idaho State Board of Medicine E-mail: HP-Licensing@dopl.idaho.gov

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medical board contact (complaints) .

Phone: 203-327-7000 Fax: 203-327-7005 Address: 11341 West Chinden Blvd, Building #4 Boise, ID 83714 Information to File a Complaint Illinois Medical Board: Illinois Medical Board Phone: 1-888-473-4858 Complaint Phone: 312-814-6910 Fax: Not public Address: Enforcement, Complaints, and Investigations 555 West Monroe Street, 5th Floor Chicago, IL 60661 Indiana Medical Board: Indiana Medical Licensing Board Phone: 317-234-2060 Fax: 317-233-4236 Address: 402 West Washington Street, Room W072 Indianapolis, IN 46204-2298 Iowa Medical Board: Iowa Board of Medicine Phone: 515-281-5171 Fax: 515-242-5908 Address: 6200 Park Ave., Suite 100, Des Moines, IA 50321 Kansas Medical Board: Kansas State Board of Healing Arts Phone: 785-296-7413 Fax: 785-296-0852 Address: 800 SW Jackson, Lower Level-Suite A, Topeka, KS 66612

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Kentucky Medical Board: Kentucky Board of Medical Licensure Phone: 502-429-7150 Fax: 502-429-7158 Address: Hurstbourne Office Park 310 Whittington Parkway, Suite 1B Louisville, KY 40222-4927 Louisiana Medical Board: Louisiana State Board of Medical Examiners Phone: 504-568-6820 Fax: 504-568-5754 Address: 630 Camp Street, New Orleans, LA 70130 Maine Medical Board: Maine Board of Licensure in Medicine Phone: 207-287-6590 Fax: 207-287-3601 Address: 137 State House Station (U.S. mail) 161 Capitol Street (delivery service) Augusta, ME 04333-0137 Medical Board: Maine Board of Osteopathic Licensure Phone: 207-267-2480 Fax: 207-536-5811 Address: 142 State House Station Augusta, ME 04333-0142 Mailing Address: 161 Capitol Street Augusta, ME 04333-0142 Maryland Medical Board: Maryland State Board of Physicians Phone: 410-764-4777 Fax: 410-764-4777 Address: P.O. Box 2571 Baltimore, MD 21215

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medical board contact (complaints) .

Massachusetts Medical Board: Massachusetts Board of Registration in Medicine Phone: 781-876-8200 Fax: 781-876-8383 Toll free: 1-800-377-550 Address: 178 Albion Street, Suite 330, Wakefield, MA 01880 Michigan Medical Board: Michigan Board of Medicine Phone: 517-241-0199 Fax: 517-241-9416 Address: P.O. Box 30670 Lansing, MI 48909-8170 Physical Address: Bureau of Health Professions 611 West Ottawa Street, 1st Floor Lansing, MI 48933 Medical Board: Michigan Board of Osteopathic Medicine and Surgery Phone: 517-335-1001 Fax: 517-373-2179 Address: P.O. Box 30670 Lansing, MI 48909-8170 Physical Address: Bureau of Health Professions 611 West Ottawa Street, 1st Floor Lansing, MI 48933 Minnesota Medical Board: Minnesota Board of Medical Practice E-mail: Phone: 612-617-2130 Fax: 612-617-2166 Address: 335 Randolph Avenue, Suite 140, St. Paul, MN 55102 Mississippi Medical Board: Mississippi State Board of Medical Licensure Phone: 601-987-3079

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Fax: 601-987-4159 Address: 1867 Crane Ridge Drive, Suite 200B Jackson, MS 39216 Missouri Medical Board: Missouri State Board of Registration for the Healing Arts Phone: 573-751-0098 Fax: 573-751-3166 Address: P.O. Box 4 Jefferson City, MO 65102 Physical Address: 3605 Missouri Blvd. Jefferson City, MO 65102 Montana Medical Board: Montana Board of Medical Examiners Phone: 406-841-2360 Fax: 406-841-2305 Address: P.O. Box 200513 Helena, MT 59620-0513 Nebraska Medical Board: Nebraska Medicine Board Phone: 402-471-2118 Fax: 402-742-8355 Address: P.O. Box 94986 Lincoln, NE 68509-4986 Physical Address: 301 Centennial Mall South, Lincoln, NE 68509 Nevada Medical Board: Nevada State Board of Medical Examiners Phone: 775-688-2559 Fax: 775-688-2321 Address: 9600 Gateway Drive Reno, NV 89521-8953

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medical board contact (complaints) .

Medical Board: Nevada State Board of Osteopathic Medicine Phone: 702-732-2147 Fax: 702-732-2079 Address: 2275 Corporate Circle, Suite 210 Henderson, NV 89074 New Hampshire Medical Board: New Hampshire Board of Medicine Phone: 603-271-1203 Complaints: 1-800-780-4757 Fax: 603-271-6702 Address: State of New Hampshire - Board of Medicine, 7 Eagle Square Concord, NH 03301 New Jersey Medical Board: New Jersey State Board of Medical Examiners Phone: 609-826-7100 Fax: 609-826-7117 Address: P.O. Box 183 Trenton, NJ 08625-0183 Physical Address: 140 East Front Street, 3rd Floor Trenton, NJ 0860 New Mexico Medical Board: New Mexico Medical Board Phone: 505-476-7220 Fax: 505-476-7237 Address: 2055 South Pacheco Street, Building 400, Santa Fe, NM 875050503 New York Medical Board: New York State Board for Medicine Phone: 518-474-3817, Ext. 560 Fax: 518-486-4846 Address: 89 Washington Avenue, 2nd Floor, West Wing Albany, NY 12234

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North Carolina Medical Board: North Carolina Medical Board Phone: 919-326-1100 Fax: 919-326-1131 Address: 3127 Smoketree Court Raleigh, NC 27604 North Dakota Medical Board: North Dakota Board of Medicine Phone: 701-450-4060 Fax: 701-989-6392 Address: Ridge West Centre 4204 Boulder Ridge Rd, Suite 260 Bismarck, ND 58503-6162 Ohio Medical Board: Ohio State Medical Board Phone: 614-466-3934 Fax: 614-728-5946 Address: 30 East Broad Street, 3rd Floor Columbus, OH 43215-6127 Oklahoma Medical Board: Oklahoma State Board of Medical Licensure and Supervision Phone: 405-962-1400 Toll Free: 1-800-381-4519 Fax: 405-962-1499 Address: 101 NE 51st Street Oklahoma City, OK 73105-1821 Medical Board: Oklahoma Board of Osteopathic Examiners Phone: 405-528-8625 Fax: 405-557-0653 Address: 4848 North Lincoln Blvd., Suite 100 Oklahoma City, OK 731053340

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medical board contact (complaints) .

Oregon Medical Board: Oregon Medical Board Phone: 971-673-2700 Fax: 971-673-2670 Address: 1500 SW 1st Avenue, Suite 620 Portland, OR 97201-5815 Pennsylvania Medical Board: Pennsylvania State Board of Medicine Phone: 717-783-1400 Fax: 717-787-7769 Address: P.O. Box 2649 Harrisburg, PA 17105-2649 Physical Address: One Penn Center 2601 North 3rd Street Harrisburg, PA 17110 Medical Board: Pennsylvania State Board of Osteopathic Medicine Phone: 717-783-4858 Fax: 717-787-7769 Address: P.O. Box 2649 Harrisburg, PA 17105-2649 Physical Address: One Penn Center 2601 North 3rd Street, Harrisburg, PA 17110 Puerto Rico Puerto Rico Board of Medical Licensure and Discipline Phone: 787-765-2929, Ext. 6581/6579 Address: Junta De Licenciamiento Y Disciplina Medica P.O. Box 13969 San Juan, PR 00908-3969 Rhode Island Medical Board: Rhode Island Board of Medical Licensure and Discipline Phone: 401-222-3855 Fax: 401-222-2158 Address: Department of Health 3 Capitol Hill, Room 401 Providence, RI

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South Carolina Medical Board: South Carolina Medical Board Phone: 803-896-4500 Fax: 803-896-4515 Address:110 Centerview Drive, Suite 202 Columbia, SC 29210-8432 South Dakota Medical Board: South Dakota Board of Medical and Osteopathic Examiners Phone: 605-367-7781 Fax: 605-367-7786 Address: 101 North Main Avenue, Suite 301 Sioux Falls, SD 57104 Medical Board: South Dakota Board of Medical and Osteopathic Examiners Phone: 605-367-7781 Fax: 605-367-7786 Address: 101 North Main Avenue, Suite 301 Sioux Falls, SD 57104 Tennessee Medical Board: Tennessee Board of Medical Examiners Phone: 615-532-4384 Fax: 615-253-4484 Address: 665 Mainstream Drive Nashville, TN 37243-0001 Medical Board: Tennessee Board of Osteopathic Examination Phone: 615-532-3202 Fax: 615-253-4484 Address: 665 Mainstream Drive Nashville, TN 37243-0001 Texas Medical Board: Texas Medical Board Phone: 512-305-7010 Complaint: 1-800-248-4062

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medical board contact (complaints) .

Fax: 512-305-7051 Address: P.O. Box 2018 Austin, TX 78768-2018 Physical Address: 1801 Congress Avenue Suite 9.200 Austin, TX 78701 Utah Medical Board: Utah Physicians and Surgeons Licensing Board Phone: 801-530-6628 Fax: 801-530-6511 Address: P.O. Box 146741 Salt Lake City, UT 84114-6741 Physical Address: Heber M. Wells Building 160 East 300 South, 4th Floor Salt Lake City, UT 84111 Medical Board: Utah Osteopathic Physicians and Surgeons Licensing Board Phone: 801-530-6628 Fax: 801-530-8511 Address: P.O. Box 146741Salt Lake City, UT 84114-6741 Physical Address: Heber M. Wells Building 160 East 300 South, 4th Floor Salt Lake City, UT 84111 Vermont Medical Board: Vermont Board of Medical Practice Phone: 802-657-4220 Fax: 802-657-4227 Address: 280 State Drive Waterbury, VT 05671-8320 Medical Board: Vermont Board of Osteopathic Physicians and Surgeons Phone: 802-828-1502 Fax: 802-828-2465 Address: Office of Professional Regulation 89 Main Street, 3rd Floor, Montpelier, VT 05620-3402

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Virgin Islands Medical Board: Virgin Islands Board of Medical Examiners Phone: 340-774-7477, Ext. 5694 Fax: 340-777-4001 Address: 1301 Hospital Ground, Suite 10 St. Thomas, VI 00802 Virginia Medical Board: Virginia Board of Medicine Phone: 804-367-4600 Complaints: 1-800-533-1560 Fax (Licensing Unit): 804-527-4426 Fax (Discipline Unit): 804-527-4429 Address: Perimeter Center 9960 Mayland Drive, Suite 300 Henrico, VA 23233-1463 Washington Medical Board: Washington Medical Commission Phone: 360-236-2750 Fax: 360-236-2795 Address: Department of Health P.O. Box 47866 Olympia, WA 98504-7866 Physical Address: 111 Israel Road S.E. Tumwater, WA 98501 Medical Board: Washington Board Osteopathic Medicine and Surgery Phone: 260-236-4700 Consumer Help: 1-800-525-0127 Fax: 360-236-2901 Address: Department of Health P.O. Box 47852, Olympia, WA 98504-7852 Physical Address: 111 Israel Road S.E. Tumwater, WA 98501

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medical board contact (complaints) .

West Virginia Medical Board: West Virginia Board of Medicine Phone: 304-558-2921 Fax: 304-558-2084 Address: 101 Dee Drive, Suite 103 Charleston, WV 25311 Medical Board: West Virginia Board of Osteopathic Medicine Phone: 304-558-6095 Fax: 304-558-6096 Address: 405 Capitol Street, Suite 402, Charleston, WV 25301 Wisconsin Medical Board: Wisconsin Medical Examining Board Phone: 608-266-2112 Fax: 608-267-3816 Address: 4822 Madison Yards Way Madison, WI 53705 Wyoming Medical Board: Wyoming Board of Medicine Phone: 307-778-7053 Fax: 307-776-2069 Address: 130 Hobbs Avenue, Suite A Cheyenne, WY 82002 Mailing Address: 130 Hobbs Avenue, Suite A Cheyenne, WY 82009 Nursing Registry National Council of State Boards of Nursing (NCSBN): The National Council of State Boards of Nursing (NCSBN) manages a registry that allows you to report nurses if necessary. Below is their website for access.

Website: https://www.ncsbn.org/membership/us-members/contact-bon.page

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accreditation contact list Commission on Accreditation of Rehabilitation Facilities (CARF) The Commission on Accreditation of Rehabilitation Facilities, is a nonprofit organization founded in 1966. It offers accreditation services to various rehabilitation programs, focusing on mental health, substance use treatment, aging services, and vocational rehabilitation. CARF’s goal is to promote the quality and effectiveness of services through comprehensive standards, ensuring high-quality care for individuals seeking rehabilitation and recovery services. Achieving CARF accreditation demonstrates a commitment to continuous improvement and consumer participation, providing a valuable indicator of quality to consumers and funding sources. For organizations that are accredited by CARF, you can report a grievance directly with CARF. Website: https://carf.org/contact-us/ Phone: (866) 510-2273, fax (520) 318- 1129 Email: feedback@carf.org Letter: CARF, 6951 East Southpoint Road, Tucson, AZ 85756-9407.

The Joint Commission The Joint Commission, established in 1951, is a non-profit organization that accredits and certifies healthcare organizations and programs in the U.S. Its mission is to improve the quality of care by upholding rigorous standards for healthcare facilities. Through accreditation, healthcare providers demonstrate their commitment to enhancing patient care and meeting the highest standards of safety and quality. For organizations that are accredited by The Joint Commission, report a grievance directly with them by utilizing the information below: Online: https://apps.jointcommission.org/QMSInternet/IncidentEntry.aspx (you must have a incident number).

Mail to: Office of Quality and Patient Safety, The Joint Commission One Renaissance Boulevard, Oakbrook Terrace, Illinois 60181

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Our Five Committments We want D·allies everywhere to be informed about our commitments through this campaign and within our Guides.

•

1st Commitment: We will regularly update our resource page with local and national resources to ensure vital information is always accessible to D·allies everywhere.

•

2nd Commitment: Any D·ally in the United States can contact us, and we will provide the support and resources needed to navigate challenging situations related to his advocacy efforts in solidarity with the mothers in his life.

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our FIVE committments

•

3rd Commitment: We will continue to empower our team and those we serve by providing essential tools and knowledge to advocate effectively, transforming them into champions for their communities.

•

4th Commitment: We will maintain our free National Drop-in Group for fathers and father figures every Tuesday at 4:00 PM EST. In this group, we will continue to offer resources, tips, and strategies to help navigate challenges related to being a D·ally and other aspects that can impact the fatherhood journey. We consider ourselves a village and are committed to supporting you throughout your journey, whether you are advocating for the mother in your life or yourself.

•

5th Commitment: Fathers’ UpLift will strongly affirm women’s rights.

We also assert that it is impossible to be a D·ally without supporting the rights of women everywhere.

1st Committment: Regularly update resource page.

2nd Committment: Open doors for D·allies everywhere.

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3rd - 5th Commitment: Educate, Provide Support and Affirm.

THANK YOU so much We would like to extend our heartfelt thanks to the following individuals: • Samantha Fils-Daniels, the CoFounder and mother behind the mission of Fathers’ UpLift Incorporated.

• Reginald Duncan, Cranium, LLC. • Liz Linder, Liz Linder Photography, LLC • Every birthing professional that is committed to making a difference in the lives of birthing persons everywhere.

• Every father and father figure that stands in solidarity with women and their rights.

• The Commonwealth of Massachusetts

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D·ALLIES MATTER

our mothers are our neighbors’ mothers. and our neighbor’s mothers are our mothers. the same goes for our children. our children are our neighbor’s children. and our neighbor’s children are our children.

Thank you for allowing us to accompany you on your D·ally journey!

To enhance your experience with this guide, we invite you to explore our comprehensive resource directory and join our weekly support group, free of charge, whenever you need additional assistance.

Please feel free to reach out to us at 617.708.0870 or via email at info@fathersuplift.org. We are committed to supporting you throughout your advocacy journey.

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bibliography “21st Century Cures Act.” Accessed Oct. 12, 2024. https://www.fda.gov/regulatory-information/selected-amendments-fdc-act/ “988 Lifeline.” Accessed Nov. 7, 2024. https://988lifeline.org/get-help/what-to-expect/.

“About the Affordable Care Act.” Accessed Sept. 1, 2024. https://www.hhs.gov/healthcare/about-the-aca/index.html.

“Affordable Care Act.” Accessed Oct. 15, 2024. https://obamacare-application.org/.

“Baby-Friendly Hospital Initiative (BFHI).” Accessed Oct. 16, 2024. https://www.babyfriendlyusa.org/about/.

“Breyer, Sotomayor, and Sagan, JJ., Dissenting.” Accessed Jul. 12, 2024. https://www.supremecourt.gov/opinions/21pdf/19-1392_6j37.pdf.

“Brief on Male Involvement in Maternal Health Outcomes.” Accessed October 16, 2024 https://drive.google.com/file/d/1IaXK3rMAPWNRr8YCt0FNz839BK_67Gm-/ “Center for Disease Control’s (CDC) Guidelines for Perinatal Quality Care.” Accessed Oct. 6, 2024. https://www.cdc.gov/maternal-infant-health/pqc/index.html.

“Family and Medical Leave Act.” Accessed Sept. 20, 2024. https://www.dol.gov/agencies/whd/fmla.

“Fathers’ UpLift Resource Directory.” Accessed Dec. 1, 2023. https://www.fathersuplift.org/resources/.

“Fathers’ UpLift: Free Weekly Drop-in Group for Support.” Accessed Sept. 23, 2024. https://us02web.zoom.us/meeting/register/tZwuf-uuqjwrHtQ04JiZ-mlisf36a3Fw_GUZ#/ “Health Center.” Accessed August 1, 2024. https://findahealthcenter.hrsa.gov.

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bibliography “Maternal and Child Health (MCH) Services Block Grant.” Accessed September 10, 2024. https://mchb.hrsa.gov/programs-impact/title-v-maternal-child-health-mch-services “Maternal and Infant Health Mapping Tool.” Accessed November 11, 2024. https://mchb.hrsa.gov/data-research/mapping-tool.

“National Alliance on Mental Health’s (NAMI) Crisis Can’t-Wait Campaign.” Accessed October 21, 2024. https://chea.nami.org/crisis-cant-wait-campaign/.

“National Constitution Center. Dobbs v. Jackson Women’s Health Organization (2022) Supreme Court Case.” Accessed July 11, 2024. https://constitutioncenter.org/the-constitution/supreme-court-case-library/dobbs-v-jackson “National Constitution Center. Roe v. Wade (1973) Supreme Court Case.” Accessed July 11, 2024. https://constitutioncenter.org/the-constitution/supreme-court-case-library/roe-v-wade.

“National Maternal Health Hotline.” Accessed November 19, 2024. https://mchb.hrsa.gov/programs-impact/national-maternal-mental-health-hotline.

“Nurse Practice Acts.” Accessed November 4, 2023. https://www.ncsbn.org/policy-gov/npa-toolkit.page.

“Patient Bill of Rights.” Accessed November 7, 2024. https://www.cc.nih.gov/patient-info/legal/bill-of-rights.

“Title VII (7) of The Civil Rights Act.” Accessed September 15, 2024. https://www.eeoc.gov/statutes/title-vii-civil-rights-act-1964.

ProPublica. “Abortion Bans Have Delayed Emergency Medical Care. In Georgia, Experts Say This Mother’s Death Was Preventable.” Accessed October 10, 2024. https://www.propublica.org/article/georgia-abortion-ban-amber-thurman-death.

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fathers’ uplift, inc. the country’s first mental health and substance use treatment facility for fathers and families.

Fathers’ UpLift is committed to empowering fathers by providing comprehensive direct care, reentry support for those transitioning from incarceration, workforce development, and advocacy. Our mission is to assist dads in navigating and overcoming challenges—whether they stem from racism, emotional issues, trauma, or addiction—that can hinder their active involvement in their children’s lives. We also proudly stand in solidarity with mothers and women across the nation, advocating for their rights and autonomy. By doing so, we aim to create a supportive community that fosters healthier family dynamics and strengthens the bonds between fathers and their children.

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