Girlfriends may jun 2017 by Kate Noet

Southern Minn

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MAY/JUN 2017

Girlfriends

16 PROFILE

Cate Grinney: Edward Jones financial advisor in Faribault

for women 36 Caring who have served

Relationships & Regional Travel

NOTE from the editor

forkner Moe Beth Forkner Moe is the editor of Southern Minn Girlfriends magazine.

Correction In the March/April edition, we ran a profile of Susan Rost and Maria Gannon, co-owners of Sunset Salon in Faribault. We mistakenly said that Rost works more with nails, while Gannon works more with hair. The opposite is true. We sincerely apologize for any confusion and misunderstanding.

his is probably the most enjoyable issue I have worked on as editor of Girlfriends Magazine (although, like your children, you probably shouldn’t admit that you have a favorite! In fact, I enjoy every issue, since they’re all so different and interesting) because it deals with some of the best things in life – relationships and get-aways. Relationships are the glue that bind people together, and there are so many types of relationships – familial, almost-family, friends, co-workers, acquaintances, even those that are simply by chance (think of, for example, your favorite cashier at the grocery store or favorite teller at the bank). Think about some of the relationships you have or have had. What have been your favorite? What have you enjoyed most? Which ones have you learned lessons from (good or bad)? We share a lot of those this month. We talk about siblings – your first friends and playmates (as well as “the only ones you’ll have left after we’re gone,” as my parents have said more than once). We talk about multigenerational relationships; sometimes those are within a family; sometimes they are the friends of our moms, or the moms of our friends (a huge shout-out here to women in those categories who have played a huge role in my life from childhood through adulthood, including Katie, Sally, Jane, Kirky and more – I wouldn’t be the same without your guidance and caring). One of the most rewarding relationships, for so many people, is that between grandparents

and grandchildren. Everyone we talked to all agreed that nothing’s better! In my case, it’s been delightful to see my mom as the quintessential teacher for the children of her children, ranging in age from 26 to 7 – everything is a learning opportunity, often disguised as fun – they’ve all been exposed to “Grandma School,” where she teaches color and shape by looking at architecture magazines with the kids, teaches math by showing them how to measure while cooking, she listens (sometimes for hours) while they puzzle out life’s questions with her, and so forth. Not everyone is lucky enough to have this, but those who do are blessed (and the grandparents we talked to said they were blessed by being able to have these youngsters). Other relationships aren’t as obvious, but very life-changing. The relationships our profile – Cate Grinney – develops with her clients; the relationships we develop with our co-workers; those developed between caregivers and the people they serve; even the relationships we develop during difficult times with our funeral directors – all are important and impactful. We also share some get-aways in beautiful places, where we can have adventures, make memories and relax and enjoy the beauty. We hope you enjoy reading about these trips and maybe planning some of your own! These are just a few of the articles we are sharing with you this month. We want to give you some things to feel good about, to learn, and to think about. Thanks for spending time with us!

Exciting news about an upcoming event – save the date! We are presenting a women’s expo on Sunday, October 15, starting at 11:30 a.m. “Hello, Beautiful – A Girlfriends Gathering” will be held at Holiday Inn and Suites in Owatonna and will feature shopping, goodies, and girl time. Special guest speaker will be former KARE news anchor, HGTV host and now author and inspirational speaker Joan Steffend. General admission tickets are $10 in advance and VIP tickets are $30. General admission includes seating to hear Steffend, light appetizers and a swag bag with freebies and special offers. The VIP tickets (only 50 available!) will include preferred seating for Steffend’s presentation, a 30-minute reception with Joan beforehand, a copy of her book “Peace in, Peace Out,” light appetizers and a swag bag with freebies and special offers. To register for the event, please visit www.southernminngirlfriends.com This promises to be a really fun event to share with the special women in your life – we hope to see you there!

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about us editor: Beth Forkner Moe

contributing writers:

Kari Berit Lisa Cownie Rian Dicke-Michels Nancy Iglesias Elizabeth Jacobs Trent Jonas Elizabeth Lippman Rachel Minske Jane Mullikin Megan Proft Marianne Radtke Terri Schlichenmeyer Sara Schlueter Anna Vangsness Isabelle Wattenberg Grace Webb

multimedia consultants: Kristie Biehn Ginny Bergerson Nicole Brandon Kathleen Davies Missy Daschner Pam DeMorett Joan Koester Per Kvalsten Amy McCann Becky Melchert Mark Nelson Lori Nickel Jay Petsche Erin Rossow Kyle Shaw Gayle Stelten Autumn Van Ravenhorst

graphic designer: Kate Townsend-Noet

ad designers:

Mary Jo Blanchard Nicole Gilmore Jenine Kubista Kelly Kubista Kate McGillen Kayla McMullen Jennifer Schoenbauer

Volume 9, Issue 3

southernminngirlfriends.com Send releases and story ideas to:

Beth Forkner Moe at Girlfriends magazine, bfmoe@southernminn.com

MAy/JUN 2017

Find Southern Minn Girlfriends on Facebook southernminngirlfriends.com

contents features

5 A bond like no other

Multi-generational relationships.

36 Caring for those who have served Ashley Laganiere, Minnesota Department of Veterans Affairs.

38 Female funeral directors

8 The great grandparent connection

Helping people during difficult times.

10 The good, the bad, and the

The bonds we create with our siblings are unique and powerful.

Using online communications for dating.

accessories

Bridging the gap between generations.

happily-ever-after?

12 Get-away: Wisconsin Dells More than just waterparks.

16 PROFILE: Cate Grinney

Financial advisor for Edward Jones.

18 Get-away: Up North

A Minnesota state of mind.

20 Distinguished Young Women

A program that focuses on awarding scholarships to, growing leadership skills in, and highlighting the talent of young women.

41 The power of siblings

14 a man’s perspective 44 book review 46 gf directory 3 note from the editor 42 unexpected caregiver 45 wellness 23 we time

24 Get-away: Head North to Grand Rapids

With more than 1,000 area lakes and 3,000 miles of trails, it’s easy to see why people head to the town, all year round.

27 Cuba Está Abierta

What you should know about Cuba.

30 Special caregivers for special people Not all people with disabilities are the same, nor are their caregivers.

32 Get-away: St. Paul

St. Paul is simply a treasure with all the amenities of a large city while maintaining the feel of a friendly small town.

34 Workplace relationships

Navigating and fostering day-to-day workplace relationships.

ON THE COVER: Cate Grinney, Edward Jones financial advisor, located in downtown Faribault. Photo by Deborah Quam Photography www.deborahquamphotography.com

Jordyn, Lauren and Melissa Strachan, with Lauren’s son, Lincoln.

Multi-Generational Relationships

A By Anna Vangsness

sk any woman who the greatest influence in her life has been and she will most likely mention that it’s been a woman of another generation. Whether from a mother, grandmother, aunt or neighbor, knowledge, stories, recipes, memories and advice are passed on from woman to woman across the generational divide. And with that information, each woman leaves an indelible mark on the other’s life and heart. That theory isn’t lost in the Strachan household of North Mankato, where you will find Brad and Melissa, who have been married for nearly 25 years. The two have been blessed with daughters as different as night and day: 24-year-old Lauren and 21-year-old Jordyn. “I have one brown-haired, brown-eyed free-spirited daughter in Lauren, and a blonde-haired, blue-eyed athletic, faith-based daughter in Jordyn,” Melissa said. Over the years, Melissa has passed along the knowledge and advice she learned from her mother and paternal grandma to her daughters. “My mom worked really hard to take care of everyone and I often

had to step in and take care of my younger siblings, so I learned just by observing her and watching her,” Melissa said. “I also had a really great relationship with my grandma; she actually lived with my husband and me until about six weeks before she passed away. That was definitely a formative relationship.” Having such strong female influences in her life, when Melissa and her husband Brad were married and began their family, becoming a mother was a natural step for her. “I’ve always worked hard to have the ability to provide for my kids, so some of the things that I tried to teach Lauren and Jordyn were to not have to rely on someone other than themselves and to be sufficient and strong,” she said. And sufficient and strong are words that accurately describe both Lauren and Jordyn. The eldest, Lauren, moved back in with her parents a year ago, with her now two-year-old son, Lincoln. Both Melissa and Lauren admit that they didn’t always have the closest relationship throughout the years, but it’s been immensely strengthened by the birth of Lincoln. “She taught me how to be a mom,” Lauren said, glancing across the kitchen island to Melissa. “Living with my parents again has taught me a lot of patience and it’s also taught me that it’s not just about me anymore; it’s about the child that I created. She’s taught me to make sure he has enough, is enjoying life and how to help him grow up to be a successful and happy person.” CONTINUES ON PAGE 6

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uuu

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CONTINUES FROM PAGE 5

TWO PHOTOS ABOVE: Melissa Strachan is pictured with her daughters, Lauren and Jordyn. TOP PHOTO: Melissa, Brad, Lauren and Jordyn Strachan. Brad holds Lauren’s son, Lincoln.

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Having her daughter and grandson living with her full time has also led Melissa to be a more patient grandma than she was a mother, she said. “She’s far more relaxed as a mother than I was,” Melissa said about Lauren. “If there was a cough, I was at the hospital. For the most part, Lauren is a single mother. She’s learned that, as a first-time parent, you always put someone before yourself. We understand each other a lot more now than we did when she was younger.” Likewise, Lauren said that becoming a mother herself has helped her to realize where Melissa was coming from over the years. “I’ve definitely been able to understand my mom a lot more,” she said. “Coming from a parental standpoint, it makes sense. It’s a different feeling of love.” Currently a junior at the University of Minnesota-Morris, Jordyn said she looks forward to the day that she has children so she can be the type of mom she was blessed with, and like the one she sees her sister becoming. “My mom has shaped me so much that I don’t even know where to begin,” she said. “I see myself becoming her in the little things that I do every day. She’s my number one role model and she has been my whole life growing up.” As it is when children become adults, the

dynamic of the relationships among Melissa, Jordyn and Lauren is beginning to change. But, for the three Strachan women, it’s a welcome change. “Even though I’m the mom, I’ve started to go to the girls for advice,” Melissa said with a laugh. “I’ll say, ‘does my hair and make-up look OK? Am I too old to wear this outfit?’ It’s fun. I like it.” Though Melissa, Lauren and Jordyn haven’t all lived under the same roof in quite some time, they’re looking forward to the fall, when Jordyn graduates from college and moves back home, making the family come full circle once again. “We’re all looking forward to it,” Melissa said. “It will be nice. Of course we’ll get under each other’s skin because that’s normal when you live with anyone, but it will be great.” Despite the fact that the three women are different, what remains constant is their unconditional love for each other and how much they help each other grow and learn. “I’m excited for her [Jordyn] to come home because she’s an addition that’s missing right now,” added Lauren. “I’d live at home forever, if I could,” concluded Jordyn. Anna Vangsness works in the healthcare communication field in Mankato and is a freelance writer. She resides in New Ulm with her husband.

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I Gap By Lisa Cownie

The Great Grandparent Connection:

Bridging the Between Generations

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t’s a bond that stretches across generations, sometimes across miles, and almost certainly across hearts. The bond between a grandparent and grandchild can truly be special. But not all bonds are created equal. Why do some grandparent/grandchild relationships seem stronger than others? Factors such as how far they live from each other, how often they can visit each other, and the number of grandchildren there are, can have an impact. Dennis and Gerry Ginther of Owatonna have all of the above challenges to contend with in developing their connections with their grandchildren. The Ginthers have nine grandchildren, some that live right down the street in Owatonna, some that live in other parts

of Minnesota and some that live halfway across the country in Seattle, Washington. “For those that live far away and we can’t see often, we are still in constant contact via email and Facebook,” Dennis said. “For those that are closer, in fact anywhere in Minnesota, we try to attend their various extra-curricular events such as dance, choir, athletic competitions, music recitals, First Communions, Confirmations, and graduations. We really try to do it all!” The entire Ginther clan does commit to one event a year that brings them all together, no matter where why live. “Each summer we all meet at a resort in northern Minnesota,” says Dennis. “Family summer vacations are our tradition.” Not only do they vary in location, the Ginthers’ grandkids range in age from 2 to 21. Dennis and Gerry say the age gap does not prevent them from finding activities they can all participate in.”

“For instance, we ‘compete’ in an annual Family Best Ball golf tournament,” Dennis said. “And each fall we hold a draft party for the ‘Denny’s Den of Disciples’ Fantasy Football League. Kids and grandkids have teams entered, playing for small cash rewards and bragging rights.” Some ideas for starting grandparent traditions include writing each of your grandchildren a letter, teaching them a skill, or even volunteering together. Mary Brill, who now lives in northern Missouri, has four grandchildren in southern Minnesota. There is an entire state between them, but this is actually the closest they’ve lived to each other. Mary’s kids joined the U.S. Coast Guard and lived in California, then Washington D.C., then Hawaii, before settling back in Minnesota. When they lived in Hawaii, Mary went four years without seeing her grandkids, so that first visit back, she panicked. “Even though I had talked to them on the phone while they lived away, I found I didn’t really know them very well,” she said. “The girls were 6 and 8, and I was sort of struggling with what to do with them. Then I saw a big floppy hat hanging on the wall by my back door, I grabbed it and told them to meet me in the clubhouse, which was our camper out back. I grabbed two more hats and the ‘Secret Hat Club’ was born!” So, for the last eight years, Grandma Mary and her granddaughters collect hats and meet two or three times a year in the camper to trade hats and stories about life.

For the Ginthers, being grandparents also cements their relationships with their own children. “We get to share in their joy and excitement about the various recognitions of their children, just like we did with them when they were young,” Gerry said. Dennis says grandparenting, though, definitely has perks that didn’t come with raising their own children. “We get to spoil them and then turn them over to their parents for discipline,” he said. “Seriously though, it’s a joy just observing and supporting them from birth to adulthood - even through those ‘teen times’ and sharing with their parents the pride that they have become responsible, sharing, sensitive human beings with a good work ethic and a willingness to help those in need. Basically, as grandparents now, we just try to be available for advice and counsel when asked.” As children grow and grandparents age, relationships can change. But experts say often that only makes the relationship stronger as many older children remain very attached to their grandparents. Grandparents are trusted adults that can offer an alternative “safe place” for teens and the stresses that come with that age group, as well as perspectives that may be different from their parents. Tyler Hvindon, 16, of North Mankato is thankful for his grandmother who lives just 30 miles away in New Ulm. His grandmother, Candy Lindmeyer, makes it a point to see Tyler and his sister, 12-year-old Cait, at least once a week. “If we need anything, she is there for us,” Tyler said. “Whether it’s helping us get ready for events, driving us places, or just listening when we need to talk - even if it’s about our parents!” And that, experts say, is the key to keeping close ties with your grandchild, keeping the lines of communication open no matter the distance or the age. And experts advise to learn the technology that your grandkids may be using such as texting and social media. Kids likely won’t do the reaching out, so the onus is on grandparents to stay in touch. Grandparenting, of course, changes from generation to generation. Grandparents today are different from their grandparents. So, while history and experience may offer some guidance, really just heed this good advice by Ginther; love and enjoy your grandkids. Embrace who they are, and what they may become. “In the case of Grandbaby Ellie Ginther,” Dennis said, “she’s the smartest, happiest, and most loving 2-1/2 year old you will ever meet!” Lisa Cownie writes from North Mankato. Her work can be found at lisacownie.com.

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Online Dating:

O By Rachel Minske

ver the years, online dating has lost much of its stigma and has become increasingly an effective way to meet new people. These days, it’s not uncommon to encounter couples who credit finding lasting love from behind their keyboard. “It makes me laugh when I think back to 2001,” said Christa Erp, who was using online communication more than 15 years ago to connect with others and fight boredom while living on her own. “Everything was so basic back then. I had only been using the internet for a couple of years and I was only scraping the surface, so when I found the ‘conversations’ on Yahoo, I thought it was so cool,” she said. Erp said it was exciting to put a topic out onto the app and see if anyone would respond – she usually asked if there was someone who wanted to discuss sports or movies. One day, though, she engaged in a conversation that spiraled into something she never expected. “I just asked to speak to someone who lived in Minnesota and was near the same age as I was,” Erp said. “I had several people click on my name to talk but Justin was the only one who was interesting enough

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to keep my attention. We talked about where we lived, where we grew up, hobbies, music, movies, etc. I think that first conversation online lasted about 4-5 hours.” At the time Erp’s online acquaintance was living in Minnetonka while she lived in Goodview, near Winona. It was about a 2-1/2 hours drive to see each other and after a week of talking on the phone, the two decided to meet in person. “I was going to the Twin Cities to visit a friend so it made sense to take advantage of being nearby,” Erp said. “We met for lunch on a Friday afternoon and it all worked out. From that point on we pretty much just talked on the phone and made visits back and forth on weekends.” Did Erp ever imagine she’d meet her future husband online? “Not a chance,” she said. “Meeting my husband wasn’t even a thought in my mind,” said Erp, who is now married to Justin, the man she met online. They have lived in Burnsville for the last 15 years and are now parents to two kids. One good thing about online dating is that is puts physical appearance to the wayside – at least initially, Erp said. There isn’t the immediate judgment of how someone looks; it’s more about how you connect with the person. “We talked for many hours before we ever even thought to share a picture via e-mail,” Erp said. “It felt like being on an adventure right in your own living room. Of course, finally meeting in person and putting

a face to the name was really fun and there was a ton of anticipation, excitement, and adrenaline leading up to that first meeting.” Erp is not alone in her dating success. According to the Pew Research Center, online dating is popular across the age spectrum. About 27% of 18- to 24-year-olds report using online dating, while 12% of 55- to 64-year-olds report ever using an online dating site or mobile dating app. While many people report using digital tools to search for potential partners, the clear majority of relationships still begin offline, the Pew Research Center reports. For those Americans who have been with their spouse or partner for five years or less, 88% say they met their partner without the help of a dating site. Neve Patterson, a sophomore at Mankato State University, said she decided to give online dating a try after breaking up with a long-term boyfriend. “I wanted to get back out there and wasn’t sure how to meet guys and flirt while still being casual,” said Patterson, who created accounts on mobile dating apps Tinder and Bumble. Patterson said she was a bit weary of signing up on the dating apps because they were notoriously known to be used by people “who just want to hookup,” she said. She didn’t like to be associated with the apps in that way, she said. However, she did enjoy seeing faces of her peers on the apps and then seeing them in person on campus. Patterson said she hasn’t been immune to the sometimes-awkward situations online dating can bring on. She details one such experience that took place at a local coffee shop, where her cousin worked. “One day, I was going through the drive through and as he is giving me my drink he said, ‘So, I hear you’re on Bumble?’ and I was a little

shocked at first and said, ‘Yes, why who told you that?’ He replied, ‘Oh no one, I just saw your account myself.’ We both laughed about it because it was awkward and funny at the same time.” The weird encounters played a part in deterring Patterson from using the apps. “Using these apps helped me realize that it is not how I want to meet new people,” she said. “It helped me a little with my breakup and confidence by the matches that I got, but otherwise I am going to try and date the old-fashioned way.” Patterson said she has deleted all of her accounts, but encouraged others to give it a try – especially if you’re unsure of how to meet new people.

Online dating safety

Of course, the most challenging part of meeting online was that you never really know if the person you’re speaking to is who they say they are, said Erp, who urged caution and to keep your own safety in mind. “Always let someone know who you are meeting, where, what time frame, and any other critical details,” she said. “Don’t give out your personal information right away. Take time to get to know the person before giving that info out.” Erp cautioned to not enter online dating with huge expectations: “If something comes out of it, that’s great, but if not, think of it as a way to learn something new about you or the other person. Or maybe it was just a good meal or a chance to check out a new restaurant or coffee shop,” she said. Rachel Minske is a multimedia journalist. When not writing, she’s usually drinking coffee and asking questions.

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Devil’s Lake Park offers picturesque lake views just minutes from Wisconsin Dells.

Wisconsin Dells: More Than Just Waterparks

F By Anna Vangsness

or nearly 150 years, Wisconsin Dells, Wis. has been known for being a family-friendly waterpark destination for tourism. But, don’t let that title fool you. While that’s still true, over the past 20 years, the area has worked to revamp itself into being a get-away spot for couples and, yes, even a girlfriends’ vacation haven. “About 25 percent of our population comes to the Dells without children at this point,” Bianca Johnson, assistant director of marketing and communication for Wisconsin Dells Visitor and Convention Bureau, Inc., said. “We have a large chunk of businesses that are perfect for a weekend getaway and have everything from bars and wineries to spas and hiking.”

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No trip to Wisconsin Dells is complete without a trip to the waterpark! The Wilderness Resort offers a swim-up bar, perfect for an adult-only vacation.

TOP RIGHT: If you’re looking for a remote and secluded dinner spot while you vacation at Wisconsin Dells, be sure to check out Ishnala Supper Club. BOTTOM RIGHT: Sundara Inn and Spa is the perfect relaxation spot for a girls’ weekend getaway to Wisconsin Dells.

Just three to six hours away from most large cities in the upper Midwest, Wisconsin Dells is a small town with a permanent population of just 5,500 people. However, every year, tens of thousands of people flock to the area to take in one of the more than 90 attractions, eat at one of the more than 100 restaurants and stay in one of the more than 8,000 hotel rooms. “We’ve worked hard to maintain that smalltown feel,” Johnson said. “Even though there can be traffic, it’s very easy to navigate and there’s just one attraction that charges for parking. Visitors can expect so much variety when they come here, which is what a lot of people look for when planning a vacation.” Typically a driving destination, Wisconsin Dells has worked to stay true to their roots and the vast amount of lodging, shops and restaurants remain mostly run by local entrepreneurs. Johnson said the majority of businesses are owned and operated by local families, some of which are in their third generation. “Even for returning guests, each time they come here there is something new to experience,” she said. Whether you’re heading to Wisconsin Dells as a returning guest or it’s your first visit to the iconic destination, Johnson said checking out the spa scene is a must for most, especially for a women’s retreat. “Sundara Inn and Spa is one of my favorites for a girls’ getaway,” Johnson said. “They have a gorgeous facility with great spas. I love the idea of having a retreat there. The nice part is you can get full-spa service. When you’re at Sundara, you don’t feel like you’re in the Dells. It’s very quiet and serene. It’s just one of the nine spa experiences that we offer.” After a relaxing day of pampering at the spa, Johnson recommends going shopping at the nearby outlet mall, or perusing downtown Wisconsin Dells, where visitors can purchase moccasins and fudge. “Dining at a supper club is also on my list of must-do,” Johnson said. “The Del-Bar, Field’s at the Wilderness and Ishnala Supper Club are all highly ranked.” For a refreshing after-dinner drink, Johnson suggests making a stop at one of the area’s

wineries, brewery or distilleries. “There’s even the Dells Trolley that takes you on a winery tour so you don’t have to worry about driving,” she said. Of course no trip to the Wisconsin Dells would be complete without hitting up one of the waterparks. They are known as the Waterpark Capital of the World, after all! In Wisconsin Dells, vacationers will find Chula Vista Resort Waterparks, Wilderness Resort, Kalahari Resort Waterparks, Mt. Olympus Water & Theme Park and Noah’s Ark Waterpark. “There are swim-up bars in the Wilderness, and in the Kalahari you can even rent private cabanas,” Johnson said. “The cabanas include a private bar where you can order drinks, and this is all in the middle of a big water park. It’s really neat.”

For those looking for an outdoor adventure, the Wisconsin Dells has you covered, as well. Mirror Lake State Park is situated just five miles outside of town, while Devil’s Lake Park is a short 15-minute drive away. “Both are just gorgeous areas,” Johnson said. “You can rent canoes or kayaks and can hike. If you’re water-logged and need a day off from the waterparks, you can venture to dry land and do activities there. It’s a good mixture.” From waterparks and spas to supper clubs and lakes, whether you’re there for a weekend or are extending your stay for a week, Wisconsin Dells is sure to please everyone who’s along for the trip. For more information or to plan your trip, visit www.wisdells.com. Anna Vangsness works in the healthcare communication field in Mankato and is a freelance writer. She resides in New Ulm with her husband.

MAy/jun 2017

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A man’s perspective

Wisconsin Dells for Grown-ups

jonas Trent Jonas is a Twin Cities-based writer and divorced father of two. He is fascinated and frightened by women but is working through his issues.

on Third

A long weekend without kids is a great way to perk up a relationship. As much as I love being with my kids at the Wisconsin Dells, in all its wet, kitschy glory, I also really like it as a grownup. If you haven’t been able to escape the water slides, mini-golf courses, and roadside tourist traps – all awesome! – on previous excursions, leave the kids behind for a couple days and head for the Dells. You’ll be surprised at the serenity you can find among all the noise. To make sure that your grown-up getaway to the Dells is, well grown-up, stay at Sundara Inn and Spa (sundaraspa.com) a gorgeous, adultsonly spa hotel just outside of Lake Delton. As you wind up the tree-lined road to Sundara, all the waterparks and fiberglass dinosaurs you just drove past will begin to slide from your memory, replaced by the peaceful sense that comes with being surrounded by nature. Sundara’s raison d’etre is relaxation. Built on a hilltop above Lake Delton, the only thing visible from Sundara is the forest that surrounds it. All of the Inn’s rooms are beautifully appointed, with a neutral, understated elegance that heightens the sensory experience rather than assaulting it. The heated outdoor pool is adjacent to the world-class spa facilities. Even if you don’t book a service (but doesn’t a couples massage sound fantastic?!), do take advantage of the cold plunge pool and sauna. If you can tear yourselves away from Sundara

long enough to have a meal, head for the Del Bar (del-bar.com), a classic supper club, which is (unfortunately) located on the Strip. However, once you enter the Prairie-style restaurant (Frank Lloyd Wright’s Taliesin is nearby), everything is just right. Strong cocktails and perfectly-cooked, aged steaks in a classy, fire-placed setting can take the edge off just about anything. During summer months, Ishnala Supper Club (ishnala.com), located just out of town on the shore of Mirror Lake, is also an outstanding dining option. The campy, native-themed log cabin atmosphere, replete with kitsch like taxidermied animals and trees growing up through the restaurant, will keep your imagination busy before and during dinner. Or simply wander outside with a drink and take in the lake as you wait for a table. Need more than food or relaxation? Golfers can hit the links at Wild Rock Golf Club (wildrockgolf.com), which is no more than a fairway shot from Sundara. The nearby Ho Chunk Casino (hochunkgaming.com) offers plenty of action for folks who like a little more risk with their reward. And, of course, you are in the Wisconsin Dells. Maybe you just want to enjoy the water slides without having to worry about the kids. Noah’s Ark (noahsarkwaterpark.com) is a great summertime bet for grown-ups who just want to have some fun.

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PROFILE

A Worthwhile Investment

Cate Grinney

Story By Grace Webb, Photos By Deb Quam

Getting to know Cate Grinney From: Red Wing Lives in: Faribault Family: Husband and four kids Hobbies: Running, participating in races and triathlons, walking her dogs, golf, racquetball, watching sports, being outdoors, traveling Fun fact: Grinney has visited six continents and will add the seventh to her list when she visits Antarctica with her father this summer

Contact info

Website: www.edwardjones.com Address: 404 Heritage Place, Faribault Phone number: 507-334-1666

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ate Grinney knows a thing or two about relationships. She juggles hundreds of relationships every day as part of her job as a financial advisor for Edward Jones. Since joining the financial service firm in 1999, she has worked on everything from retirement planning to asset protection for all types of clients—young and old, single and married, from every conceivable background. But while clients’ circumstances and goals are different, Grinney has discovered the key to serving each one: cultivating that deep one-on-one relationship. “A lot of my job is building relationships and education,” Grinney said. “What I do is meet with people and try to discover their goals and keep them on track for those goals.” Grinney was born in Red Wing, MN, and learned the importance of business relationships by watching her father, Michael Grinney, while he worked as a mortician. “To this day, I’m not a fan of the smell of flowers,

and I think that’s because I associate the smell with funeral homes,” she said with a laugh. “My dad’s clients adored him. He was so good with them. If you can work with people in those situations [involving a funeral], you can work with them at any time.” When Grinney was in fifth grade, her father began working as a financial advisor for Edward Jones and moved the family to Faribault. Grinney graduated from Faribault High School and earned scholarships to the University of Minnesota to study journalism, though she was also interested in everything from law to nutrition. She just knew one thing for certain: she wasn’t interested in joining the family business. “Growing up, I really had no desire to follow in my dad’s footsteps,” Grinney said. “For school fundraisers, I’d have to go door-to-door selling candy bars and things like that, and I hated it. I wanted nothing to do with sales. With Edward Jones, the way you get started is going door-to-door. You go up to people on their doorstep and introduce yourself. I was horrified by that.” However, her life took an unexpected turn when she moved to Omaha, NE. Realizing she wasn’t as keen on journalism as she had originally thought, she turned to what she was good at—finances. She had picked up a solid background thanks to her

“A lot of my job is psychology. Money should be logical, but it’s really emotional.” - Cate Grinney father, and some extra finance classes in college had increased her knowledge. From there, it was an easy transition to begin working for Securities America, a financial services firm. “I went with them to learn the ropes, because I hadn’t taken finance as a major in college,” Grinney said. “I wanted to make sure I understood the business and liked the business before I went any further in it. Securities America was a good firm.” Her life changed again when her father called her and asked if she’d be interested in switching to Edward Jones. Grinney admits he had to ask her several times before she started seriously considering the idea. “I wasn’t planning on moving back to Minnesota,” she said. “I was trying to get somewhere much warmer.” But eventually, in February 1999, she decided to just go for it. “It’s been awesome ever since,” she said. “I love what I do.” Grinney worked with her father for the first several years, and she said the mentorship experience was crucial as she began creating new relationships in the southern Minnesota area. “Working with my dad was absolutely awesome,” she said “I got to know him in a different way. One of the things he always told me was, ‘If you don’t worry about the commissions, you’ll never have to worry about the commissions.’ He meant that if you’re doing the right thing for your client, you’re going to make a living at this. It’s about doing what’s right for people.” One of the challenges Grinney faced as she started was jumping into such a maledominated industry. Edward Jones is about 19 percent women, which is higher than the national average of around 16 percent. However, instead of focusing on how out-numbered she

was, she looked at the ways being a woman could help her succeed in her field. “I think there are some unique opportunities for women,” she said. “For men, going up to a doorstep, if you’re a single woman or widow at home, are you going to open the door? Probably not. I didn’t have too many people who weren’t welcoming. I had people who were short with me, but no one was outright rude. I think it’s harder for people to be mean to women compared to guys. Women tend to establish relationships at lot easier and quicker. There are some disadvantages too, but the ‘old boys’ club’ is pretty much going away. There is no glass ceiling here.” Another challenge was helping her clients survive the two recessions that hit in 2002 and 2008. “That was about as ugly as it gets,” Grinney said, explaining how the 57 percent market drop in 2008 resulted in the worst market since the Great Depression. “You get to be a much better financial advisor working through something like that and learning clients’ fears. Investing when the market is up is easy, but staying invested and doing what you’re supposed to be doing when the market goes down, that’s what is really, really tough.” Still, despite how difficult it was for everyone involved, Grinney was able to convince almost all of her clients to stay invested, with less than one percent of them pulling out of the market. “To be successful, they had to be invested,” Grinney said. “If you pull out, you can’t recover. It’s my job to keep you doing what you should be doing, rather than listening to your gut. It’s my job to make sure you stay on track.”

Always learning While Grinney is an expert in several key areas of financial planning, she’ll be the first to tell you that there’s always something still to learn. “I’m fascinated by how the business works,” she said. “I’m trying to always expand my knowledge.” She earned her Certified Financial Planner designation in 2007 and is looking into gaining another designation. She also holds several roles within the Edward Jones business, such as mentoring a fellow financial advisor who’s newer to the firm and acting as a client solutions coach to

Starting small According to Grinney, the best thing to do when it comes to investing is to simply start— even if it doesn’t feel like you can do much right now. “It’s never too early to start, even if it doesn’t seem like much,” she said. “Even $25 a month adds up. Retirement is on this back burner for people. One thing my dad taught me is that you always pay yourself first. Retirement is a bill. It’ll get here before you know it. Once you’re in your 40s or 50s, you’re really behind if you haven’t gotten started. It’s really hard to catch up.” Grinney suggests starting with a monthly deposit that’s small and doable, and gradually increasing the amount as you’re able. “If you try to start big, you’ll feel overwhelmed,” she said. “It’s no different from doing a New Year’s resolution or a diet. If you plan to do everything, once you slip up, you’ll give up. You want to start with achievable goals. The ideal is that you’re saving 10 percent of your income. If you can start small and just inch it up, it makes a big difference.”

She works with all types of clients, from parents of young children to someone who lived to be 104, though she says her average client is approaching or in retirement. She specializes in “complex situations” such as tax planning, long-term care and estate management. However, while she’s been in the industry for 20 years, she recognizes that there are areas that aren’t her strong suit—so she is quick to work with other Edward Jones advisors and area experts to make sure her clients’ needs are met. “I do a lot of partnering with attorneys and CPAs in town,” she said. “I always try to create a team of financial experts for my clients, to really give them a complete team.” She also works closely with her two branch office administrators, Cathy Soper and Beth Sammon. “They make my job so much easier,” she said. “I have phenomenal support. It’s really a team effort, whether it’s my branch team here, Edward Jones as a whole, or working with other professionals in my town. We just try to do everything we can to give clients the best experience they can get. Clients want to know they’re being taken care of, and I want to always make sure they feel like that.” Grace Webb is a wandering reporter whose home base is Mankato.

educate other advisors on how to help clients receive a better overall experience. Grinney has attended several industry conferences over the years, including Barron’s Top Women Advisors Summit, which represents the nation’s top female financial advisors. She was also invited to Edward Jones’ Managing Partners Conference last year, which whittled down 15,000 applicants to the 350 top producers of the firm. Grinney’s invitation meant she was in the top two percent of Edward Jones’ advisors. She received another invitation to the conference this year as well and will attend in May. MAy/jun 2017

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A few highlights of the area Brainerd:

• Brainerd International Speedway • Paul Bunyan Land • Brainerd Ski Loons free waterski show at Lum Park, July 3

PINE RIVER Pequot Lakes

CrossLake Nisswa

Pine River:

• Summerfest and Lakes Bluegrass Festival August 23-27 • Pine River Duck Races, Fridays mid-June through mid-August

BRAINERD

h t r o N Up

Pequot Lakes:

• Free music every Saturday evening 7-9 p.m., June 17 August 27, in Trailside Park

Crosslake:

• Second Annual Rib Cook-off for Veterans, July 8, noon-5 p.m. • Original Craft and Flea Market taking place the weekends of Memorial Day, 4th of July, and Labor Day Map from Pinterest

A Minnesota State of Mind

U By Jane Mullikin

p North. What images come to mind when you read these words? For me, Up North used to mean going to my family’s cabin on a crystal-clear lake in Wisconsin, with sand castles, our dog Flipper catching and crunching tadpoles, hosting family and friends, and being with my grandparents just two cabins down from ours. While my kids were young, it meant tent camping on the north shore of Lake Superior where we hiked state park trails, cooked over a campfire, used a port-a-pottie (eeew!), and didn’t shower. Now, I envision many things from a long scenic drive to renting a

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Nisswa:

• Scandinavian Festival, June 9-10 • Lakes Jam Music Festival, June 22-24 • Lakes Area Artists Fine Art Show and Sale, July 6-8 • 54th annual Nisswa Turtle Races, every Wednesday, June 7-August 16

cabin overlooking a beautiful lake. OK, I wouldn’t mind staying at a premiere resort with valet parking, a full-service spa, gourmet food prepared by famous chefs, cocktails brought right to my lounge chair, room service, live entertainment, and could I please have someone fan me with a giant palm when I get over-heated? Up North can also be a state of mind. I like to keep a summer fun kit in the trunk of my car for spur-of-the-moment decisions to go hiking, have a picnic, or attend an outdoor concert or movie In my trunk, you will find two camp chairs, a kite in a bag that hasn’t been used in 10+ years (but it’s there just in case I ever want to use it), and a tote containing insect repellent, sunscreen, a hat, a book I’ve been meaning to read, reading glasses, a journal and pen, old walking/hik-

ing shoes, sunglasses, small Kleenex packages (in case I find myself far from civilization and needing to…well, you know). I throw in some old shorts, pants and socks, too, and a Nerf football and Frisbee. For those seeking a genuine Up North getaway, one of the premier destinations in Minnesota is the Brainerd Lakes area. Located about three short hours north of our readership, Brainerd Lakes is full of several picturesque lakes, hiking/biking/walking trails, small towns, Crow Wing State Park and a wildlife management area, wonderful golf courses, zip-lines, go-carts, a plethora of water sports and activities of all kinds, gorgeous sunsets, starry starry nights and - if you’re lucky an occasional meteor shower (or even Northern Lights). In the Brainerd Lakes area you will find lodging in all price ranges. Some of the more famous places to stay are Madden’s on Gull and The Gull Four Seasons in Brainerd, Breezy Point Resort in Pequot Lakes, Grand View Lodge Golf Resort and Spa in Nisswa, and Deacon’s Lodge in Breezy Point. These places offer amenities such as full-service spas, gorgeous golf courses, fine dining, boat rentals, kids’ activities and more. Nationally known hotel chains and many types of traditional lodging are available throughout the area, along with rustic to full-service campsites. I would suggest camping in picturesque Crow Wing State Park because state parks never disappoint. Crow Wing State park has 59 drive-in and 12 electric campsites. (They even have showers and flush toilets, so no need for that Kleenex pack from your trunk.) For a unique experience, why not stay at an Airbnb? If you’ve never heard of this, Airbnb is a network of places to stay all over the world. These properties are often less costly than traditional lodging. In the Brainerd Lakes area, Airbnb has offerings from entire lake homes (some even include the use of a boat for an extra charge) down to

e m o H t a p o h S

single rooms for rent in someone’s home, somewhat like a bed-andbreakfast. At airbnb.com you will find pictures, descriptions, prices and testimonials about each rental unit. Whichever type of lodging you prefer, be sure to make your reservations ASAP, since summer accommodations sell out quickly. When you get hungry, there is a great old-fashioned diner called The Barn in Brainerd that serves home-cooked traditional American food. What The Barn lacks in curb appeal, it makes up for in ambience and deliciousness. Popular with locals and vacationers alike, good luck walking out without having a piece of pie! Christmas Point Wild Rice Company in Baxter serves hearty soups and wraps and is attached to a unique three-level shopping area that has a bit of everything, including goods for the home or garden, jewelry, decor, furnishings, clothing and gifts. A stop at Christmas Point is tradition for many Brainerd Lakes vacationers. In the fine dining category, The Classic Grill at Madden’s in Brainerd is number one on several lists, serving up locally inspired dishes and beautiful views of Gull Lake. You will also find many of your favorite chain restaurants in the area as well. Going North on weekends in the summer is a tradition for many Minnesotans, so much so that the traffic can be terrible. If you can manage it, head north on Sunday evening and home by Friday night (or, as many people do, go north on Thursday night and come back on Monday morning). Places to stay may be more available, possibly less expensive, and the crowds will be lighter. The bumper-to-bumper traffic is quite a sight to see while whizzing past in the opposite direction. Safe travels and happy trails to all! Jane Mullikin calls Rosemount her home, but also lives in a quaint town near warm ocean waves and majestic mountains ... at least in her heart.

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Scholarship and Leadership

Distinguished Y o u n g Women

Owatonna native Abigail Hansen, 2017 Minnesota Distinguished Young Woman.

By Megan Proft

he pressure on young people to succeed today is immense. It comes at them from all angles - education, early jobs, extracurricular activities, friends and family. One program leading the way in helping young women not only succeed in the moment but setting them up to thrive in adulthood is Distinguished Young Women. Distinguished Young Women (DYW) is a national scholarship program founded in 1958 as Americaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Junior Miss. The program focuses on awarding scholarships to, growing leadership skills in, and highlighting the talent of young women.

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Abigail Hansen with fellow finalists Noelle Worstman, of Mantorville, and Grace Ekema, of Tyler pose with Carla Beaurline of Cable Channel 6.

Amy Clarke is a state chairperson for DYW of Minnesota and said at the highest level, the program has drawn 745,000 young

women to participate and compete at the local, state, and national levels of the program through the years. â&#x20AC;&#x153;In Minnesota, 59 state

Harpist Abigail Hansen, of Owatonna.

representatives have been named over the years, and thousands have participated in local and state programs throughout the state,” she said. Though the program is a formal competition, there’s much more to it. Clarke said it creates wonderful relationships among the participants. “Often, girls leave their DYW experience feeling as though they have a whole new group of friends. Many continue those friendships long after their program ends,” Clarke said. “These young women have had a common experience, and they are there to cheer each other on.” The bigger goal, she said, is the combination of cultivating confidence and life skills in young while financially supporting them as they move forward in their education. That positive support has certainly been the case for 2017 Distinguished Young Woman of Minnesota Abigail Hansen of Owatonna. Hansen, a senior in Pre-Conservatory at Shattuck-St. Mary’s School in Faribault, said that being a part of the program has taught her things she’ll carry with her the rest of her life. “I have learned how to carry myself in a professional manner and how to remain poised when faced with a tough question during an interview,” she said. “Gaining public speaking experience, setting goals for my near future and also thinking ahead to life after college are just some of the things that DYW has provided me with.” For Hansen the choice to apply was a natural one since she’s been around DYW her whole life. “I’ve always been involved in the program. My mom and her sisters were in DYW when they were in high school, and my mom came back to the program when I was little to help participants with the interview,” she said, adding that the application process itself is “a breeze”. “DYW makes the program attainable for anyone. Before participating in the state program, I competed at regionals. That was a laidback atmosphere to make me comfortable for state,” she said. “If anyone is at all interested in DYW, being a part of a regional program is so enjoyable

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and provides great skills for the future.” A comfortable atmosphere for young women is exactly what DYW is going for. “At the core, we want to see them succeed in whatever it is they choose to do after high school. We want them to feel like they learned relevant life skills… and that they were exposed to new perspectives and ideas through their participation,” Clarke said. For Hansen, that future has both a short- and long-term plan. She will represent Minnesota in the national DYW program this summer and has plans to study music performance, with an emphasis on entrepreneurship. at either Peabody Conservatory in Baltimore, MD, or the University of Toronto in Toronto, ON next year. Wherever she ends up, Hansen said she will be moving forward with the confidence

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and skills instilled in her by DYW. “Being the Distinguished Young Woman of Minnesota has taught me many invaluable things that I will bring into my adult life,” she said. Visit www.distinguishedyw.org for more information or to apply to the Distinguished Young Women program. Megan Proft is a regional freelance writer originally from Owatonna. She has a B.A. in English and has been writing professionally for more than 10 years as a journalist, editor and copywriter.

WE TIME

The Music of Angels

By Marianne Radtke f you and your girlfriends, spouse, or others you enjoy spending time with have ever wanted to hear world-class, award-winning musicians brilliantly play the harp, now is your chance. The 22nd bi-annual National Harp Competition is coming to Southern Minnesota June 25-28 on the campus of St. Olaf College in Northfield. The competition is hosted by the Minnesota Chapter of the American Harp Society, Inc (AHS). It is held concurrently with the annual Summer Harp Institute, a summer offering for young students from all over the country consisting of workshops, master classes, a young composers’ project, competitions, recitals, concerts, and more. The Competition and Summer Institute draw talent and attendees like no other from around the country. The competition is open to harpists up to the age of 30 who are national members of the American Harp Society (AHS). Winners of the competition, along with past winners and other guests will perform concerts and recitals open to the

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spend some quality time listening to the public. angelic sounds of the harp among tomorrow’s Elinor Niemisto, the Institute’s co-chair, brightest stars right in our own backyard. Instructor of Harp at St. Olaf College and Senior Lecturer in Harp at Carleton College in Northfield, described what an extraordinary Performances open event this is, and what an honor it is to have to the public: an event of this caliber come to town. A nationwide search was conducted, with a two- AHS Concert Artist Recital year selection process. The Minnesota Chapter Katherine Siochi opens the Institute with her farewell performance as 2015-17 Concert Artist. of the AHS submitted a bid for St. Olaf, which Minnesota Composers’ Concert was chosen for its top-notch music facilities, Works by Argento and Paulus, performed by idyllic retreat-like setting, and Northfield’s outstanding Minnesota artists. historic river town charm. Northern Region Folk Harp Stars All performances open to the public will be Celtic harpist Kim Robertson will perform held at Boe Memorial Chapel on the campus spirited and soulful traditional music from of St. Olaf. Tickets are $12 each and will be Ireland, Scotland & N. America, as well as a few available at the door. The Lyon & Healy Harp of her original compositions. She will also be Makers Awards Winners’ Recital is in Carleton joined by Sunita Staneslaw and Andrea Stern to play some of her original harp ensemble College’s Skinner Chapel on Sunday, June 25, arrangements. at noon. For more information on the competition Young Composers’ Recital Discover the new works submitted by the and concert schedule please visit Young Composers’ Project “Featured www.ahssummerinstitute.org or visit the Composers.” American Harp Society, Inc., Summer AHS National Competition Winners Recital Institute’s Facebook page at www.facebook. Close out your Institute experience with a com/AHSSummerInst. Additional information We now have many more implantthrilling companiesperformance in the market, lowering cost of thewinners materials, which by the the first-prize be available in the Northfieldallow News and us to pass the savingsof onAHS’s to our patients. By offering implant surgerythe in our practice, the 22nd National Competition, harp savings in time and money havestars made of dental implants more affordable than ever. Call us for a FREE Entertainment Guide closer to the events. tomorrow. consultation. Whether you are replacing one tooth, all of them, or somewhere in between, I would So grab your favorite friend,love neighbor, to help design a personalized plan herself to change yourwriter.” life and Mariannetreatment Radtke considers a “hobby She also lives fi int your budget. family member or significant other and ---Todd Christianson, DDS Northfield with her husband and their four children.

We now have many more implant companies in the market, lowering the cost of the materials, which allow us to pass the savings on to our patients. By offering implant surgery in our practice, the savings in time and money have made dental implants more affordable than ever. Call us for a FREE consultation. Whether you are replacing one tooth, all of them, or somewhere in between, I would love to help design a personalized treatment plan to change your life and also fit your budget. ---Todd Christianson, DDS

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Head North to Grand Rapids

G By Anna Vangsness

rand Rapids, Minn., prides itself by having a small-town charm that’s located in the middle of the north woods. With more than 1,000 area lakes and 3,000 miles of trails, it’s easy to see why people head to the town all year round. “We are true north,” Megan Christianson, executive director of Visit Grand Rapids said. “We’re right smack in the middle of Minnesota’s nature. What you’ll see when you come to town is the ideal Norman Rockwell downtown with brick facades and little boutiques side by side that are great for shopping, yet we have a Target and other big box stores as well. It’s a great destination for girlfriends, family, couples or a friends’ getaway.” What draws people to Grand Rapids are the amenities and recreational opportunities that are just outside of the city limits, Grand Rapids Area Chamber of Commerce President Bud Stone said.

Looking for an adventure? Rent an ATV and sightsee Grand Rapids from a different view.

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“Our community is uniquely different than other northern Minnesota communities,” he said. “People love the town and how put together it is with all of the green space and flowers. There are a lot of attractions that are fun in the summer months, but there’s something of interest here for everyone in any season.” Stone said that Grand Rapids has become a popular spot for hockey tournaments and snowmobiling, both of which help encourage tourism during the cold, winter months. During the summer, the area is filled with events like Tall Timber Days Festival, a large swap meet and car show hosted by the Chamber of Commerce and the Wizard of Oz Festival, in honor of Grand Rapids native Judy Garland. Grand Rapids is also home to the Mesabi Trail and the Forest History Museum, which offers visitors the chance to take a peek into life in the 1900s through guided tours of a logging camp from that era. “One of the other draws that’s related to our visitors is our commitment to the arts,” Stone said. “We have one of the finest performing arts theaters in Minnesota that’s drawn millions of visitors. It’s fantastic.” The Reif Performing Arts Center received a grand renovation and expansion project in the spring of 2016. Each year, the Reif

LEFT: The Forest History Museum takes you on adventure back to the 1900s with its guided tours. RIGHT: Grand Rapids is home to nearly 60 miles of the Mesabi Trail, which offers dedicated hiking trails through a vast forest.

Center hosts nearly 40 national and international touring performances with acts like the Minnesota Orchestra, Rick Springfield and Wynonna Judd. “It’s a 200-seat theater, which allows the audience to get up close and personal with the performers,” Christianson said. “No ticket is more than $40, so it’s very reasonable for a getaway.” Of course, what’s a show without dinner? Christianson said Grand Rapids has eclectic restaurants, each unique to their own concept and foods. “Every single restaurant has its own specialties and flair,” she

said. “The Forest Lake Restaurant and Lounge has a supper club feel with tablecloths and tables that overlook an area lake, it’s great for a romantic night out. Other restaurants feature fresh wild rice and homemade maple syrup. With each meal, you can go somewhere different and have a different experience.” If you’re headed to dinner, followed by a concert or other event and are looking for a place to stay, don’t worry. Grand Rapids has that covered, too. “We have a wide array of lodging opportunities,” Christianson said. “We have economic hotels and motels on up to four-star CONTINUES ON PAGE 24 u u u

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Along Grand Rapid’s quaint picturesque downtown is a vast array of boutiques, which allow for the perfect day of shopping.

CONTINUES FROM PAGE 25

hotels and the Timberlake Lodge, which is our newest property. It’s a beautiful facility with a large pool and indoor/outdoor waterslide and a 20-person hot tub. It’s great because it’s also within walking distance to restaurants and the theater.” While Grand Rapids is the perfect spot for romance or a friend getaway, from a family leisure point of view, it has something to offer everyone, Christianson said. “When you bring your family up and stay at one of the mom-

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and-pop lodging places, you become almost family with the owners,” she said. “You all come out by a campfire at night and share where you’re from and trade stories. We have stand-up paddle boards, bouncy slides and canoes, and the kids can even keep themselves occupied with some beach toys. Grand Rapids is a great spot for everyone.” By offering amenities eager to please all sorts of visitors, both Stone and Christianson agree that Grand Rapids should be on everyone’s radar when it comes to a northern Minnesota getaway. “The location is great and even the scenery on the way up is pretty,” Christianson. “You’re sure to find a lot of intimate venues for reasonable prices.” For more information on what Grand Rapids has to offer, visit www.visitgrandrapids.com. Anna Vangsness works in the healthcare communication field in Mankato and is a freelance writer. She resides in New Ulm with her husband.

By Elizabeth Jacobs

A Little History: President John F. Kennedy made Dwight D. Eisenhower’s 1960 embargo permanent in February 1962 and expanded it to all U.S. imports from Cuba. A portion of the embargo prevented American citizens from traveling to Cuba and bringing Cuban goods into the United States. In December 2014, President Barack Obama began re-establishing diplomatic relations with Cuban President Raúl Castro. Commercial flights starting flying directly to Cuba from the U.S. in August 2016.

The writer (who grew up in Waterville, attended Waterville-ElysianMorristown High School, and worked for the Paradise Center for the Arts in Faribault right after college) and 13 additional people (8 of the group attended Winona State University) decided last summer to make a trip to Cuba. They spent a week there in February. The main reason? The opportunity presented itself, and the writer decided it would be a good time before the island becomes “flooded with Americans.

You can either purchase the visa ahead of time or at the gate before boarding your flight. I would recommend calling your airline prior to ensure they have visas at the gate and verify the cost, as they may differ between airlines. I called Delta directly before my flight and in a matter of minutes secured my visa for $50USD. They had visas waiting at the gate for all passengers. Although you need to have a visa, I never encountered anyone in the U.S. or Cuba that enforced the travel restrictions or did more than glance at it. You will of course need a valid U.S. passport, which is checked both in Cuba and when you return to the U.S.

Getting into Cuba:

Before you go:

Although the embargo has been lifted, tourist travel to Cuba is not yet permitted. Before you venture down, you will need to select one of 12 reasons for traveling to Cuba and get a visa. (The writer’s reason, and several others in the group, for requesting a visa was for “journalistic activity.” Her traveling companions requested visas for “professional research and meetings” or “educational activities.”)

In the time leading up to your trip, learn basic phrases in Spanish, as most of the population doesn’t speak English. I used the Duolingo app and it was a great help. I also suggest the Maps.me app on your smart phone. This is an app allowing you to download maps of anywhere and use them without the Internet.

Background for the Trip:

(Cuba is Open)

competitions, and exhibitions 8. Support for the Cuban people 9. Humanitarian projects 10. Activities of private foundations or research or educational institutes 11. Exportation, importation, or transmission of information or information materials 12. Certain export transactions that may be considered for authorization under existing regulations and guidelines

The 12 reasons visas are approved: 1. Family visits 2. Official business of the U.S. government, foreign governments, and certain intergovernmental organizations 3. Journalistic activity 4. Professional research and professional meetings 5. Educational activities 6. Religious activities 7. Public performances, clinics, workshops, athletic and other

What to bring: Although Cuba isn’t far from the U.S., a lot of basic items can be difficult to locate or expensive once there. If there are items you know you cannot go without, be sure to bring them. I managed to pack everything in a carry-on for my stay. I brought only two pairs of shoes: tennis shoes for walking around and sandals for going out and beach days. I was advised to not bring clothing that might appear too flashy, as Cuba is a poor country and it would make you stand out. I selected items I could CONTINUES ON PAGE 28 u u u

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CONTINUES FROM PAGE 27

mix and match as well as layer. One of the most useful items I packed was a sarong, which could be used as a cover-up, blanket, and beach towel. The thin lightweight fabric allows it to dry quickly and not take up too much space. For toiletries and sanitary products I packed only the basics, leaving most of my make-up and hair products at home. (Hey, I am on vacation! Who did I need to dress up for?) Pack plenty of sunscreen. Also, ladies, be sure to pack tampons or other feminine products, as you will not easily find them there. I created a small first aid kit, which came in very handy. I included bug spray, Band-Aids, ibuprofen, Pepto Bismol, and allergy medication. Also bring hand sanitizer and toilet paper, as most restrooms you find will not have either. I highly advise investing in a Lifestraw Filtered Water Bottle. This is something I did not bring, but wish I would have. Our first night in Cuba we were advised by our host to not drink the tap water, causing us to purchase bottled water throughout our trip.

Money: You will be able to attain Cuban Convertible Pesos (CUCs), once in Cuba. Few places take U.S. credit cards. Bring as much cash as you will need for the trip. I would advise bring ing Euros or British Pounds as they have a better exchange rate than the U.S. dollar. I planned on about $75 a day for spending money.

Where to Stay: There are some government-run hotels and resorts available in the larger cities but they are rather expensive. A less expensive option is to use “casas particulares” or Airbnb. We booked two Airbnbs for our trip. The first was near the University in Havana and the other right off the beach in Varadero. Our lodging for the entire trip came to around $130USD per person. Each place also offered breakfast each morning for $5CUC per person. This was a great deal for an amazing breakfast as it is hard to find places open for breakfast.

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Often, traveling companions are into their own activities, so do your own research ahead of time. For me, I love getting off the beaten path and finding hidden treasures. One of my highlights was getting lost and finding “De La Casa de 18,” a little hole-in-the-wall bar that featured live salsa music. We used taxis to get around, most being classic cars. Always barter if a clear price is not posted. Taxis and street vendors expect it. If you don’t, you will overpay for everything. If prices are posted, be sure that you are being charged correctly. Keep a menu with you during your meal and do your own math at the end. Cuba is a beautiful country filled with people who want to share it with you. If you let them, you are sure to come back with some amazing stories and a few new dance moves.

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Caregivers for By Elizabeth D. Lippman

“N

ot all people with disabilities are the same,” said the daughter of Lynn Miland, director of community relations for Laura Baker Services Association (LBSA) in Northfield. Miland has taken the wisdom her daughter, who is on the autism spectrum, offered to heart and, along with her LBSA colleagues, works daily to honor the unique circumstances and aspirations of each individual they serve. “It is complicated, and it takes a lot of skill,” Miland said. “Every story is very individual. It takes a lot of individualized attention to make sure that folks are safe and successful, and sometimes there are a lot of obstacles that have to be removed or hurdled in order to get people to that point.” LBSA offers a variety of educational, housing, and support services for individuals with special needs and their families. From art and music therapy to residential options and in-

People

home care, LBSA staff and direct care workers seek to integrate clients into healthy and vibrant community. More than 155 LBSA staff members work to support 85 clients ages five to 88. “Each one is a unique individual with personal strengths and quirks. Each one has a story,” Executive Director Sandi Gerdes, who began her work with LBSA as a direct care provider, said. A typical day at LBSA is anything but predictable. Gerdes describes as an example a scenario in which she received a phone call asking for help for a young girl with developmental disabilities who needed to move—overnight. An adolescent who processes information and interacts with her environment similarly to a toddler, the girl needs a great deal of care and attention. She needed safe housing and qualified caregivers, and LBSA staff members had only a few hours to pull it all together. “My first call is (always) to our resourceful, imaginative and committed staff members, asking them to create solutions,” Gerdes said.

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“They do what they always do: They respond with results.” The LBSA team, Gerdes explained, divided up the necessary tasks, including appropriate licensing, staffing, and furniture. They determined how to integrate the girl into a house of older adults and educated and bolstered existing support staff to meet her specific needs. They also began looking ahead to a long-term housing and care plan. “In 24 hours,” Gerdes said, “we make it possible for this young woman to be safe again. This incredibly complex situation requires all staff members involved to have exceptional professional boundaries, to negotiate a variety of complicated and difficult ethical decisions, to communicate professionally and compassionately, and most importantly, to be committed to assisting this young woman through her fear and pain—which she is unable to articulate because she is non-verbal and processes information as a 17-19-month-old.” Staff preparedness and quality of service are critical. “Our services are provided under intense public and governmental scrutiny:

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Any error in judgment can result in licensing violations, maltreatment investigations, newspaper headlines,” Gerdes said. Miland, who began her professional life working in the corporate world in advertising and marketing, quit her job to have more time to care for her daughter. “That has just changed the whole trajectory of my life,” she said. “I can tell you that my daughter has been my greatest teacher, for sure.” Miland has advocated in Minnesota for people with intellectual and physical disabilities and emphasizes the need for greater societal support for the important work that non-profits like LBSA accomplish. She points to a public misperception that the state provides all the necessary funds for their work. While state dollars do fund some of the support they offer, fundraising remains a critical component of LBSA’s planning and strategizing. “To provide a life, as a nonprofit organization, we do a lot of fundraising to enrich folks’ lives so we can follow our mission and really look at the individual needs of that person,” Miland said. “Everybody is different.” In all that they do, LBSA staff members seek to respect those differences and the diversity that, while it can present challenges as they maintain the multitude of skills and connections necessary to honor each

individual’s unique set of circumstances, makes their work so vital and rewarding. “You don’t want somebody to choose where you live based on your ethnicity or something that categorizes you,” Miland said. “It’s the same for people with disabilities. It is a spectrum. Some people have very obvious disabilities, and some people have invisible disabilities.” LBSA advocates on a county, state, and national level for some of society’s most vulnerable members. Some of the most pressing concerns are increasing the availability of affordable housing options for individuals with special needs, providing adequate compensation for direct care staff, and addressing respite care needs for caregivers. “Many families are left trying to figure out piecemeal the supports that their young adults with disabilities are needing right now. It’s a real challenge and a real drain on the family system,” Miland said. Miland and Gerdes stress the need for the general population to act as strong community to ensure that the voices of those with disabilities—many of whom cannot speak for themselves—are heard and respected. “We emphasize each person’s goals and dreams, regardless of where they are living, Miland said. “Our focus always has been and always will be personal choice.”

“This is a really extraordinary set of folks that provide these services, and it’s not always an easy job,” Miland said. “We’re asking them to do a lot. And they do.” Elizabeth Lippman is a freelance writer and editor based in Winona, Minn. She holds a master's degree in literary nonfiction. A mother of four, she loves the Appalachian Mountains, her garden and honeybees, and much good music.

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ST. PAUL

S BY JANE MULLIKIN

pring has sprung and it is time to say goodbye to cabin fever, get out and explore new destinations, and revisit some old favorites. Our capital city of St. Paul is simply a treasure with all the amenities of a large city while maintaining the feel of a friendly small town. Home to the renowned Winter Carnival, with its ice palaces, ice sculptures and torch light parade, in the spring and summer the city comes alive with people out and about enjoying parks, outdoor music and movies, hiking and biking trails, festivals and weekend long music concerts. One of my favorite things to do in St. Paul is to visit the Como Zoo and Conservatory (both are free to the public). Como Zoo, small in size and large in character, is home to lions and tigers and polar bears, oh my (I just couldn’t resist), as well as flamingos, monkeys, sea horses and many more creatures. Several buildings have been remodeled or added in the last few years, including a re-done gorilla house. Soon it will be warm enough for Sparky the sea lion to resume his daily shows, a tradition since 1956, and to let the baby giraffe (Prince, who was born in November) out of its winter quarters. Adjacent to the zoo is a fully restored carousel that was originally a part of the Minnesota State Fair, plus a pint-sized amusement park for your little ones. Como Regional Park surrounds the zoo. The park’s many amenities include paved trails, picnic areas with BBQ grills, a large play area, four ball fields, and watercraft rentals for use on Lake Como. Other trails in St. Paul can take you along the great Mississippi river,

FREE EVENTS: • Summit Brewing Company tour and tasting, Tuesdays-Saturdays • Minnesota Museum of American Art, open Thursdays-Sundays • State Capitol tours, every day except holidays • Twin Cities Jazz Fest, June 22-24 • Mekong Night Markets, June 10-11

OTHER FESTIVALS AND EVENTS: • Music in Mears, Thursday evenings throughout the summer

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around lakes, into the woods, around town, and even onto a small island in the middle of the Mississippi River. Raspberry Island Regional Park, with its spectacular view of the St. Paul skyline, is a great place to stretch one’s legs and get that perfect picture. St. Paul is full of free family-friendly activities for all ages. On any given summer day, several parks offer free music and a few show movies after dusk. Rice Park, Mears Park and Como Dockside are the most active venues for music. Free for all history buffs, the Landmark Center, the Cathedral of Saint Paul, and Union Depot are all open to the public. The Landmark Center, build in 1902 for use as a federal post office and courthouse, now serves as a cultural center. Free tours are available, but be sure to reserve a spot in advance. The Cathedral of Saint Paul, also built in the early 1900s, is simply stunning! France’s cathedrals and churches were the inspiration for the exterior, and the interior is filled with shrines and chapels, stained glass windows, paintings and frescoes, and much more. Take a free tour and see where JFK sat while visiting, attend Sunday or daily Mass, or come for a concert. Union Depot, a beautifully renovated 1920’s train station, has tours every other Tuesday you can explore it on your own. I would also recommend strolling along Summit Avenue to see the longest stretch of Victorian houses in the United States, and walking along Grand Avenue where you could fill an entire day with window shopping and dining. Many of St. Paul’s restaurants open up quaint and very social patios for us to savor and make the most of our short Minnesota summers. One of St Paul’s most beautiful and historic restaurants is also home to the best outdoor patio in the area and an award-winning wine cellar. W.A. Frost and Company, is housed in a structure built in 1889, and named for one

• Paws on Grand, August 6 - grandave.com • Irish Fair of Minnesota, free, August 11-13 irishfair.com • Japanese Lantern Lighting Festival, August 20 • Summer Beer Dabbler, August 26 beerdabbler.com

WORTH THE PRICE: • Historic Fort Snelling, a preserved military post - historicfortsnelling.org • Twin City Model Railroad Museum - tcmrm.org • Minnesota Transportation Museum transportationmuseum.org

• Hmong Cultural Center - hmongcc.org • Schubert Club, celebrating instruments and composers worldwide - schubert.org • Wabasha Street Caves - wabashastreetcaves.com • James J. Hill House - sites.mnhs.org/historicsites/james-j-hill-house • Minnesota History Center minnesotahistorycenter.org • Alexander Ramsey House - sites.mnhs.org/ historic-sites/alexander-ramsey-house • Science Museum of Minnesota - smm.org • Minnesota Children’s Museum, reopening in June - mcm.org

Photos from www.visitsaintpaul.com

of the original occupants who ran a pharmacy. This restaurant is full of antiques, old photos, interesting stories, oriental rugs, gorgeous stone and brick walls, and a ton of character. They serve upscale American fare along with fine wines from the wine cellar. On the very next block, you will find La Grolla where you can eat classic Italian pasta dishes and delectable desserts on their cozy patio or inside with the trendy decor. Other notable patios include The Happy Gnome (known for having 89 craft beers on tap), Red Cow (also offering several craft beers and specializing in gourmet burgers), and Moscow On The Hill offering Russian fare and a vodka bar. All of these restaurants get fantastic reviews, have outdoor seating, AND are within three blocks of each other on Selby Avenue. Several professional sports teams call St. Paul home. The Saint Paul Saints, a minor league baseball team playing serious baseball and at the same time serving up a huge helping of fun, play at CHS Field. Minnesota United, a major league soccer team in its premiere season, currently plays at TCF Stadium in Minneapolis; however, their permanent home will be a the newly constructed Midway Stadium which should be finished for the 2018 season. The St. Paul Pioneers, an amateur football team, play home games at Concordia University-St. Paul from April through August, and the Minnesota Wild hockey team plays at the Xcel Energy Center from October through April. You can begin your summer on June 4 at Grand Old Day, a festival filled with local artist and food vendors, free local music on six different stages, and a good old-fashioned parade. You can end your summer at the great Minnesota Get-Together, the Minnesota State Fair (August 24-September 4 this year). In between, listen to live music and see a movie in a park, go to a Saints game, take fabulous pictures of the skyline from Raspberry Park, step into the past at Fort Snelling, learn something new at the Science Museum, and so much more! Jane Mullikin calls charming Rosemount her home, but also lives in a quaint town near warm ocean waves and majestic mountainsâ&#x20AC;Ś..at least in her heart.

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Navigating and Fostering

WORKPLACE RELATIONSHIPS

P BY ISABELLE WATTENBERG

eriodically, I have to remind myself: don’t work in a silo. I manage most day-to-day projects on my own, whisking assignments away to my desk-in-the-corner. But an outside perspective can catch mistakes and identify opportunities, and this is where colleagues and supervisors are invaluable. Whether your preference is the hum of solitude or an office of white noise chatter, it’s helpful to check in with other people or set projects aside to have a brief conversation so you can return and tackle with a new energy. In matters beyond the office, the people you meet at work can play an equally important role. Mentors, lifelong friends, and even partners could be just a cube away. Forming close relationships with colleagues does require a thoughtful approach, but they reward with invaluable connections.

The Mentor If you want to grow both technical skills and satisfaction at work, working with a mentor can help in both areas. Sonya Prange, president of the Southern Minnesota Area Human Resource Association, recommends those seeking a mentor begin the search by contacting their human resources department, as some companies have formal processes for connecting mentors and mentees. “Think about what type of mentorship you’re looking for,” said 34

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Prange, who has been with SMAHRA for more than 10 years. “Are you a new hire and want mentorship on acclimating into the organization and its culture, or are you looking for career development?” Prange suggests mentors and mentees check in at least every couple Need ideas for setting up weeks and set specific objecan off-hours get-together? tives the mentorship should work to achieve. Here are a few:

Do I need to formally ask for a mentorship?

• Check out that new coffee place • Organize a happy hour that’s an easy distance from the office • Visit the Farmers Market over lunch • Get a group together to attend a nearby sports event • Start a book club or writing group

If you and a colleague naturally fall into a cadence of seeking feedback and sharing advice, there’s no need to label the relationship. However you structure the communication, setting goals will only improve both your professional skills and rapport with your colleague—who might very well be a future reference or boss.

Wanna grab a drink? The coworker-friend Even if you leave work at work, you don’t need to wave your colleagues goodbye at 5 p.m. sharp, too. Having colleagues who are also friends makes for a more comfortable, supportive office environment and can lead to strong friendships, since you and your colleagues share a common foundation. Planning a group meet-up right after work is ideal for coaxing work buddies away from their desks to mingle and

chat without the pressure of deadlines. It also gives those who prefer to keep work and friend relationships separate the chance to decline without having to turn down an individual. Prange cautions against bringing politics or religion into the conversation until a firm friendship is established.

A Step-by-Step Guide to Forging Your Mentor Relationship • Identify your goals for the mentorship. • Find someone who is in a position to help you reach your goal. It may be most convenient to reach out to someone in your own company, but don’t be afraid to look to other sources, such as an alumni network or other area companies. • Before you formally ask for a mentorship, set up an informational interview to introduce yourself and make sure your communication styles mesh well. • Set a timeline with checkpoints. Work with your mentor to further define your goals and touch bases for talking through the objectives and learnings you aim to gain from the relationship.

It all started at the water cooler… The coworker-love interest

employer know, she says, unless one reports directly to the other. In this case, according to Prange, the couple should contact human resources. Some companies have parameters around supervisors and supervisee relationships. Where work relationships can get messy or dangerous, Prange says, is when the couple separates and one of the party uses their proximity at work to continually seek reconciliation. This unwanted persistence can lead to formal harassment charges, which Prange has helped implement. In cases where the individual won’t comply with the corrective steps the charges lay out, they’re removed from the company. “If you have to end a relationship with a co-worker, be very clear about your expectations for contact while

For freelancers who don’t have colleagues but still want to connect with others in their field, consider these options: • Work part time at a collaborative working space, such as CoCo • Find a member organization for your field and attend events they plan • Tap into an alumni network to find fellow college graduates who are in a similar career

From mistletoe at the holiday party to the office hero who’s always fixing the printers, workplace flirtations have fed cartoons, sitcoms, and possibly a daydream or two of your own. Put aside the dramatized versions, however, and you have a very real situation that adds another layer of complexity to dating—which in and of itself tends to be a murky and confusing experience. During Prange’s tenure at SMAHRA, she has seen work relationships both thrive and crumble. Co-workers who are dating don’t necessarily need to let their

at work,” Prange said. “If you don’t want them to approach you about anything other than normal business reasons, let them know that right away.” Isabelle Wattenberg is a social media and data analytics specialist for MSP Communications. She spends her spare moments listening to opera, reading Alice in Wonderland, and writing about Minnesota happenings.

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Ashley Laganiere, Minnesota Department of Veterans Affairs

By Beth Forkner Moe

One such event is the Women Veterans Conference on May 25 at the Ramada Plymouth Hotel & Conference Center from 8 a.m. to 5 p.m. Admission is free. All ages, eras, and branches of shley Laganiere takes care of a Military Women are encouraged to attend. To register or for more whole lot of people across the information, go to mn.gov/mdva/news/events/. state and is passionate about the Laganiere found this career almost by accident, but it was defiwork she does. Laganiere works nitely part of the journey she began at age 17, when she joined for the Minnesota Department the National Guard as a third-generation military member. She of Veterans Affairs and holds injured herself in an accident at basic training, so was discharged several positions there – Outat age 19. A graduate of Plainview-Elgin-Millville High School, reach Veteran Service Officer for she attended Winona State University. After college, she began SE Minnesota, Gold Star Family working at the Federal Veterans Administration (VA), where she Coordinator statewide and – the helping with compensation and benefits for disabled veterans. least known – Women Veterans Along the way, she got married; her husband was a member of Coordinator statewide. the National Guard for 16 years. Her biggest challenge, she said, is keeping connected with She received a Master’s Degree in Public Administration at female veterans, for a variety of reasons. “Often, women do not Metro State University and discovered she likes the work of govidentify as being veterans,” ernment. She joined the she said. “However, if they Minnesota Department of have served in any branch Veterans Affairs in 2014. “I of the service, they are wanted to be an advocate eligible for veterans’ beninstead of pushing paper,” efits. When they get back she said. She enjoys the into civilian life, they often variety of work she does. don’t look for or know Finding female veterans is they have earned those not always easy, she said, benefits.” since they have to contact Her job is to find those their county’s Veterans Serveterans and connect vice Offices (each county them with these benefits. has one); that’s why the With an estimated 26,000 outreach is so important. female veterans throughout “Women tend to take the state (going back as far care of themselves last, as World War II), this is after their marriages and a big task. The only way after their kids,” Laganiere she has of doing this is said. “Statistically, a lot Ashley Laganiere in her National Guard uniform and now as a civilian through outreach, through working for the Minnesota Department of Veterans Affairs. of female veterans are women’s events and word married to other service of mouth. “I keep my ear members. But if they to the ground and go to women-centric events when I can,” she haven’t been in combat or deployed themselves, they often don’t said, “and I let veterans know their eligibility for benefits and try consider themselves to be veterans. That’s not the case, though; if they’ve been on active duty – including Guard or Reserve drill – to connect them to anyone who can provide services.”

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May 25, 2017

they are eligible for benefits.” Whenever she meets women, Laganiere said, she asks them about their service background and if they are aware of what they are eligible for. She often refers them to the state office in St. Paul, which can act as their power of attorney in telling them what’s available and helping them apply for benefits. Another statewide role Laganiere fills is that of the Gold Star Family Coordinator. Gold Star families are those who have lost someone serving honorably while on active duty – that could be service-related, or due to accidents or illnesses. She works with parents, siblings, spouses and children of those who have died in the service. “I give them recognition from the Department of Defense and provide support to them in whatever way possible,” she said. Finally, Laganiere is responsible for coordinating services for all veterans throughout Southeast Minnesota. Part of this is providing training for each county’s Veteran Services Officer. “Our major goal in all of this work,” she said, “is to get into contact with veterans across the state. We, unfortunately, don’t have contact with them unless they reach out to us.”

For more information: mn.gov/mdva/ The Minnesota Department of Veterans Affairs runs Minnesota's five state Veterans Homes and assists Minnesota's 370,000 Veterans and their dependents to obtain the benefits and services provided by the United States Department of Veterans Affairs.

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C • The Changin g Face of Milita Presentation ry Uniforms for and Display Women • Workshops - Yoga - Self-defense - Create your own - Social media safebattle flag - Military mom rou ty ndtable • Minnesota Wo man Veteran to be presented of the Year Aw by Women Vet ard erans Initiative

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The primary source of contact for all county benefits and services are County Veterans Service Officers (CVSO). CVSO's are located in each of Minnesota's counties and can be contacted through www.macvso.org or by calling 1-888-LinkVet (546-5838). The Minnesota Department of Veterans Affairs Central Office is located in the Veterans Service Building in St. Paul, Minn. Beth Forkner Moe is the editor of Southern Minn Girlfriends. magazine.

The Department’s mission is to “serve Minnesota Veterans, their dependents and survivors by connecting them with the federal and state care and benefits they have earned.”

THANK YOU VETERANS Everyday, we honor the men and women whose military service protects the fabric, values and security of our great nation.

Veterans Rice County

Contact Tracy McBroom, Rice County Veterans Service Ofﬁcer About your State & Federal Veterans Beneﬁts

Faribault

320 3rd St. NW Faribault, MN

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• Service-Connected Disability • Pension beneﬁt for Veteran or widow • Health Care • Burial beneﬁts and much more!! MAy/jun 2017

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Helping People During Difficult Times –

L to R: Sue Nasinec Mortician/Owner, of the Bruss-Heitner Funeral Homes location in Wells. Mara Mietzner, Lisensed Funeral Director, Bruss-Heitner Funeral Home in Wells. Debra Kubista, Licensed Funeral Director and Licensed Embalmer, Michaelson Funeral Home in several communities.

Female Funeral Directors

E By Nancy Iglesias

ach funeral has its own story (and backstory), and its own feel. Until recently, however, a few things were generally the same: a hushed room (in a church or funeral home), many flowers, soft music in the background, professionals with somber faces and well-fit suits, helping the family quietly behind the scenes and directing visitors before and after the service. In a small town, you probably know your local funeral directors, at least by sight. There are generally only a few funeral homes in town, and you become accustomed to seeing the same professionals at many funerals. For the past few years, though, you have

MAy/JUN 2017

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potentially seen some new faces: those of women. That has been the case for only a couple decades, and definitely not in all communities. Let us introduce you to a few of these caring women who have made this their career in southern Minnesota: Debra Kubista, Licensed Funeral Director and Licensed Embalmer, Michaelson Funeral Home in several communities; Mara Mietzner, Licensed Funeral Director, Bruss-Heitner Funeral Home in Wells; and Sue Nasinec, Mortician/Owner, Bruss-Heitner Funeral Home in Wells. None of them followed the same path to this career, but they have common interests science and helping people - and the fact that they are pioneers in their field. Kubista didn’t attend many funerals or funeral visitations as a child. Like many, her parents wanted to shelter her from the harsh realities of death. She didn’t even know anyone in the funeral industry. Fast forward a few decades, though, and that is exactly

where her education and career path has led her. After high school graduation in 1984, she knew she wanted a career in a medical profession, and she enrolled at the University of Minnesota (the U). After investigating the U’s Mortuary Science program, it seemed like the perfect fit for her, blending her love of science and her gifts of care and compassion for people. When she graduated in 1988, women were still very much in the minority as funeral directors. During her first job search, she was told in an interview that they were not interested in hiring a woman for a director position, but would hire her for a nonlicensed position. She was not deterred; she knew she had a great education and the skills she needed to succeed. Over the years, she has successfully and gracefully navigated the many challenges of breaking into her chosen career path. When Mietzner was in high school, she visited a cemetery with a mausoleum. She

“I am passionate about people and educating families as they journey through a death. The science of embalming, providing another opportunity to say “goodbye” to their spouse, parent, child, sibling is important to our staff. Listening to families and providing options is a daily occurrence. Details, scheduling, and paperwork can be trying, but I enjoy the challenges of what we are able to provide to families. No day is ever alike and I like it.” - Nasinec was curious about how the caskets got into their niches and how the odor was contained. She did some online research and found information about the embalming process and what the job of a funeral director entails. The more she read, the more she felt like this would be a good career for her to pursue. Like Kubista, it felt to Mietzner like it would be a perfect blend of her interests in science and of helping others. Nasinec came to the business from a bit different perspective from the other women. “My very close friend died when I was 10 years old, and I wanted to know why he didn’t look like himself at his visitation,” she said. “The funeral director showed me around his funeral home, answered all my questions and explained a few things to me. I was so interested in the science regarding embalming, funerals and the details, and quietly helping people.” Funeral directors have traditionally been, perhaps, tied to the perceived physicality of the job. That gender balance has shifted over the past 10-15 years. Today, approximately 65% of mortuary science students are women. Mietzner’s graduating class of 2008 at the U was the first class where women outnumbered men. As many grieving families are seeking a more customized approach to service planning, many funeral homes are seeing the

benefit of having a staff comprised of women and men with a variety of skills and personalities. According to Tom Crean in “The Changing Face of Funeral Services” (EPOCH Magazine), “Traditional funerals that once consisted of a standard visitation, a funeral service, cemetery burial and reception has given way to more personalized events in a variety of venues with social media memorials, digital slideshows and video or musical tributes. Funeral homes are increasingly offering specialized services such as prayer vigils, eco-friendly caskets and cremations or philanthropic options that make it easy for families to donate to the charity of their choice in lieu of flowers. People are rediscovering the importance of memorialization, and they don’t want old solutions. They want new ones. There’s a huge movement to redefine the funeral as a life celebration.” In the past many funeral homes were family businesses, passed on from one generation to the next. That trend is changing with the advent of more women entering the field. “In the funeral industry, each mortician/ funeral director must have a certain skill set,” Nasinec said. “I am looking for the employee with the personality, empathy, sense of humor, and sense of responsibility who wants to help others. Women are strong and able to perform the job at hand, and look great too, especially in heels and skirts. As a woman

in any profession, choosing not to perform a certain task because you are a woman is detrimental. The job needs to be done. Do it.” When Kubista began her employment in Fairmont, in 1989, she was their first female mortician. She was told later it was the owner’s wife who decided she should be hired. Twenty years later in 2010 when she began her employment at Michaelson Funeral home in Owatonna, once again she was their first female funeral director. When asked about the unique perspective she brings to the families she serves, Kubista said, “I want to educate families about heathy grieving and why we do the things we do. Several important things I talk with them about is completing their relationship with their loved one, creating a memory picture and saying goodbye. It’s important to have an open conversation with families in discussing their needs. In doing so, we can plan a meaningful funeral service for that family. “ She shared a recent experience of working with a large family with 11 adult children involved in planning the service for their parent. One of her highest priorities in working with that family was to make sure that every family member had a voice and was heard and understood as they expressed their thoughts on planning the service. Nasinec said the way she tries to help CONTINUES ON PAGE 40 u u u

Mission Statement from the University of Minnesota Mortuary Science program: Funeral directors are health care professionals who serve others during a time of loss, pain and grief. The Program of Mortuary Science’s mission is to skillfully combine the study of behavioral, physical and applied sciences for the goal of preparing graduates for careers as knowledgeable, skilled and innovative funeral service professionals. Program graduates will be prepared to serve bereaved members of their communities in a manner that is proficient, dignified and caring.

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CONTINUES FROM PAGE 39

families is through her abilities of working with a wide variety of people, as individually as possible. “I have the gift of remembering people’s names, and I enjoy meeting people. I do not hesitate to ask questions so we have the same understanding,” she said. “I appreciate taking time to educate people on choices they do not know are available so families can make the best choices for services. I also have a sense of humor, which helps every single day.” Mietzner said everyone’s perspective on loss and grief is unique to their own situation and personal life experiences. She believes one of her greatest strengths is her empathy as she serves families in their time of need. She also says that she is “endlessly patient,” a great attribute in her role of assisting families who have a tough time making or agreeing on decisions. In the midst of overwhelming grief, many clients feel lost. She is grateful for the female mentors she has had in her profession, including Nasinec

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(who is one of only four female funeral home owners in the state of Minnesota). “I never felt like I had to prove myself to Sue. She just believed in me from the beginning,” she said. “We prove ourselves, to the rest of the community (skeptics and supporters, alike) by simply being good at what we do. We can do everything the guys can do, while wearing skirts and pantyhose.” Nasinec has also had mentors, including her former employer, Stan Bruss (who she bought the business from in 2008) and his wife. “And they still are,” she said. “Stan’s best advice to me was, ‘We have a job we do for our community, by taking the best care of the deceased, and most importantly, the deceased’s family. Everyone is important and we must treat them accordingly.’” “The fact that I was a woman vs. being a man became irrelevant,” she said. “(Stan told me) ‘do the job with your whole heart and passionately, and you will never work a day in your life’.” While the rewards of building strong

relationships in the community and being able to assist families on their healing journey through the grief experience are great, there are also many challenges. Funeral directors work long hours, long days and evenings, middle-of-the-night calls and work that is both physically and emotionally difficult. With those issues at hand, balancing work and family is a challenge. But all three women said they would never give it up, in order to help people during the most difficult moments of their lives. Nancy Iglesias is a freelance writer and non-profit consultant. She spent 20 years working as Executive Director for Habitat for Humanity in Winona, MN. Prior to that, she was the Marketing Manager for InterVarsity Press in Downers Grove, IL. Nancy enjoys entertaining, water fitness and teaching preschoolers at her church.

For additional reading: LittleMissFuneral.com - “An average girl working at your not-so-average job” calebwilde.com - While not a woman, Caleb gets to the heart of what it means to be a funeral director

reunion in

800-423-6466 • VisitO watonna.org/reunions

“To the outside world we all grow old. But not to brothers and sisters. We know each other as we always were. We know each other’s hearts. We share private family jokes. We remember family feuds and secrets, family griefs and joys. We live outside the touch of time.” – Clara Ortega

The Power of Siblings

By Sara Schlueter

lthough it may not be the easiest relationship at times, the bonds we create with our siblings are unique and powerful. Here we give some ways to stay connected with, or repair a relationship with that brother or sister who may drive you crazy, but knows you better than anyone else. They are the ones we grow up with, share a room with, complain about, fight with - but ultimately they are the ones who are in our lives for the long haul. They might be our very first play mate, and then one day may be the one toasting us at our wedding. However, the relationships we have with our siblings change as we age. Sometimes that bond strengthens, but sometimes those relationships can drift apart due to arguments, moves, jobs or our own families. It is important to still make time for siblings, and maybe even develop new ways to stay connected to each other or rekindle the close relationship you may have once had. In fact, according to a Swedish study, older adults who maintained close contacts with their sibling had an increase in overall life satisfaction, even

above relationships with friends or their own children. Try out these six ways to help build or maintain your sibling relationship: Forgive. Before you can think of creating new traditions with your siblings, maybe you first need to repair your relationship. Let go of any past arguments that may be a hinder on your relationship or holding you back from becoming close. What happened in the past years ago when you were younger should be left there. Move on, and move forward. Learn. Take the time to know what your sibling is like now. The interests they had growing up, the temper tantrums that they threw all the time most likely will have changed. Become interested in what careers they are pursuing, what their goals are and how you can support them now. Celebrate. Be there when your sibling finally gets that big job promotion or gets accepted to graduate school. Become their cheerleader. Let others know how proud you are of them through a social media post, or if you live close to each other, by treating them to a celebratory dinner. Communicate. Talk with your siblings about the best way for you to stay connected. Is it a group text? A weekly phone call? Writing letters? And remember to always be kind and compassionate when communicating with your siblings. Reminisce. Take some time on your own to go through photo albums, scrapbooks or read old cards from your siblings. It helps us to ap-

preciate our siblings when we can look back at the family vacation photos and sweet birthday card they wrote us. Share some of those fond memories with your siblings, and see which ones are their favorites. Make memories. Create new traditions with your siblings. Take a weekend trip together once a year, host family dinners, get together for movie night or decide to try new activities together.

The science is there—our siblings are good for us! Numerous studies and research have shown that siblings play a crucial role in our development and relationships throughout our lives. A 2014 study from the Journal of Research on Adolescence found that a healthy sibling relationship may actually help children develop sympathy later in life. And it should be no surprise that younger siblings learn almost as much from their older siblings about behavior and social norms as they do from their parents. A 2010 study published in New Directions for Child and Adolescent Development examined the idea of siblings as “agents of socialization” and how sibling relationships influence either positive or negative behaviors. It confirms the notion that younger siblings look up to their older siblings, and will mirror their behavior. A younger brother will be much more likely to take up underage drinking, for example. if his older brother does. Katherine J. Conger, one of the lead researchers expressed how important it is for parents to help foster a positive relationship between siblings early on. “We know from longitudinal studies that if kids start off their relationship with a sibling on a positive note, it is more likely to continue positively over time,” Cogner said. So be grateful for and celebrate the siblings you have—even your health will thank you! Sara Schlueter is a magazine editor in the Twin Cities with degrees in journalism and apparel merchandising from Iowa State University. She is passionate about telling people’s stories and being involved in the community. MAy/jun 2017

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Unexpected CaregiveR

Berit Kari Berit is a speaker, author and regular column contributor. She is now booking fall and winter presentations. KariBerit.net

MAy/JUN 2017

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Turn frustrating relationships around with three compassionate tips

y dear friend Sylvia, who suffered from Alzheimer’s disease, was very agitated when I visited her at the nursing home. She was sitting in her wheelchair, banging it against the nurse’s medication cart. As I approached her I heard the nurse address her like this, “Sylvia, you’re missing a shoe.” That meant nothing to Sylvia. Later on, my dad tried to tell my friend, “This is where you can set your water glass.” Sylvia looked blankly at him and held on to her glass. Even though my dad felt that he was clear in his explanation, at a certain stage of Alzheimer’s disease sufferers can no longer follow simple instructions. We also can’t expect them to take part in or to understand our conversations, especially in large groups. Part of what I do through my speaking engagements is help people understand what it’s like to be with familiar faces, but still feel totally lost in everyday conversation. The closest I have been to understanding how Alzheimer’s disease can impede communication was when I was on a semester abroad in Norway. I remember one such time where I was the one completely adrift in a crowd. A friend invited me to a party where I met a number of his friends. My Norwegian language skills were good, but nowhere near good enough to keep up with the rapid-fire conversations that were happening all around me. I felt lost, confused and

totally exhausted by the end of the evening. To top it off, I took the wrong bus to get back to where I was staying. When I finally arrived at my apartment, I was in tears. My roommate greeted me with, “We’re only going to speak English and tomorrow I’m taking you to the American Lutheran Church.” That’s how she helped me regain my footing and feel connected again. I offer three ways to help you stay connected with a loved one who has Alzheimer’s disease and struggles to communicate: • Connect with your eyes—stand or sit at the same level with your loved one and look them in the eyes. Look at them when you’re talking to others, even if they aren’t able to contribute. Let them know that you see them and that they are included. • Slow WAY down—speak clearly and in short phrases. Allow pauses in your sentences and space for them to respond. Their response may come out in “word salad,” but nod and acknowledge them; don’t correct them. If they have lost most of their ability to speak, refrain from asking them questions that require complex responses. • Use touch—if they can’t form sentences, include them in the conversation by holding their hand or sitting close to them. If you’re able to shift how you interact with a loved one suffering with Alzheimer’s disease, you also take care of yourself. You stay SANE* in a challenging caregiving world. *Supported, Appreciated, Not Guilty and Energized, explained in my new edition of The Unexpected Caregiver (2016, Attainment Company).

ON TOP OF THE WORLD...

WITH GOOD HEALTH!

Child and Teen Checkups are available to children from birth through age 20 who are covered by Minnesota Health Care programs such as:

• Medical Assistance • South County Health Alliance • Blue Plus • UCare

Steele County Rice County Public Health Public Health 507-444-7650

507-332-6111

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BOOK REVIEW

Book Review - “History of Wolves” By Emily Fridlund c.2017, Atlantic Monthly $25.00 / higher in Canada 279 pages

Review by Terri Schlichenmeyer, The Bookworm

Wonderful, cold ‘History of Wolves’ transforms genre

Southern Minn

et it go. That’s what people say when others are upset: let it go. Shake it off. Can’t do anything about it now, so why dwell on it? Pretend like it never happened and that you didn’t see a thing - at least until, as in the new novel “History of Wolves” by Emily Fridlund, you can’t un-see anymore. In just 16 years of life, Madeline “Linda” Furston had seen two dead bodies. The first one was her old history teacher: she sensed that he was dead before he was even carried from the middle-school. The second one, Paul, wasn’t dead when she last saw him, but he might as well have been. Just two – which is hard to believe, considering that her early childhood was spent in a struggling commune. Nobody died there, though; instead, one by one, everyone drifted away to other places with electricity and bathrooms, or places less remote than northern Minnesota, until just Linda and her parents were alone. That left Linda with the ability to fend for herself, an understanding of wolf-like stealth, keen knowledge of surrounding woods and lakes, and the middle-school nickname of “Freak.” With no friends, an introverted personality, and a preference for animals over people, Linda natu-

Foodies; Kids:

Have an idea or suggestion?

Contact Beth Forkner Moe at bfmoe@ southernminn.com

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-The Bookworm is Terri Schlichenmeyer. Terri has been reading since she was 3 years old and she never goes anywhere without a book. She lives on a hill in Wisconsin with two dogs and 12,000 books. For more information, visit bookwormsez@gmail.com.

JUL/AUG 2017 WATCH FOR:

Girlfriends

rally kept to herself. It was easier, and safer… until the Gardner family arrived at the summer home across the way. She’d spotted them moving in and watched them from the roof, so she felt as though she knew them before they even met. Paul, the fouryear-old, took to Linda straight away; Patra, the mother, noticed, and hired Linda to spend time with the boy. Ten dollars a day was more than Linda could make as a waitress, and she liked Paul. She was fascinated with Patra. It was quite some time before Linda would meet Paul’s father. Leo was 11 years older than his wife, a mostlyhumorless, laser-focused astronomer who made Linda feel unsettled. He tried to engage her in serious philosophical and religious conversations but his beliefs were not hers, and never would be. Especially when it came to the care of his son. Here’s a nice surprise: I sincerely did not know where “History of Wolves” was taking me when I first started it. It’s not a mystery; you know right away that something happened and it wasn’t good. It’s not a thriller, although it’s quietly thrilling. You can tell it’s a heart-wrencher, but you don’t know why until author Emily Fridlund has you well and hooked. Even what I’ve told you here won’t ruin the surprise of reading this book, partially because of a teenage main character who’s wise beyond her years. She tells this story from the viewpoint of a damaged, grown-up Linda, looking back, with slow pain that’ll make you howl. This book starts off sluggishly and a little weird, but stick around; it’s laying the groundwork for a good character you’ll come to like. Read a little more, and “History of Wolves” will soon become a book you can’t let go.

• Urban gardening; farm-to-table eating • Cookbooks as a mirror into a community • How can you learn to cook, if you don't think you are a cook? • Simplify your meals - ways to make meals ahead of time, in order to make your day a little less crazy • Using food to show love and support • Food delivery services and personal chefs • Finnegan's - turning beer into food • Alternative schools for different types of learners - charter, virtual, home

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• Family-friendly activities across the region • Screen time - how much is appropriate for each age? • Balancing activities with school and family time • Relationships with adult children • Picking a college - what do you wish you had known? • Northfield TORCH program

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WELLNESS

Connecting with your significant other through

yoga

By Rian Dicke-Michels

elationships need as much work as the home that we live in. They require maintenance, upkeep, and attention, but so do you as an individual. Your body isn’t a house, though. If a house crumbles, you can get a new one. If your body wears out, game over. The better you treat yourself, the better things run; the same goes for your relationships. Whether you’re still in the honeymoon phase or the years are stacking up, the time you spend with your significant other (SO) is as important as the time you spend taking care of yourself; it’s essential to do both. Your partnership is beautiful, and yoga can help you strengthen that connection. In class, I’ve mentioned that yoga is very much the practice of selflove. Each movement is about accepting the body as it is, taking faults with a grain of salt, and attending to those things that need work. We breathe and move, taking our time. If you come to the mat on a regular basis, you begin to really understand yourself, feel good about yourself, and performing daily tasks gets easier as your patience grows. Perhaps you apply the same efforts to your bond with your SO? Partner yoga is gaining popularity among couples and the biggest reason is that it works! If you take each of the sentences from the paragraph above and applied it to your partner, you’d have a whole new story about deepening your connection to and understanding your SO. When you move and breathe together, you take opportunities to learn about that person on a different level, knowing their body almost as well as they do. If you and your SO both make the commitment to being guided by your love, what happens is a shift in perspective. You might experience a side-effect of a more intimate and sustainable connection. You don’t necessarily have to start out in a class-based setting, either. Simple partner yoga postures can be performed on your living room floor, or even seated on the bed (just don’t fall off!). Unified Breath: Begin by coming into a cross-legged seated position, back to back. Slowly deepen your breathing, allowing your belly

to expand out as you inhale, and exhale completely before inhaling again. After a few breath cycles, check in with your partner’s breath and sync up. Inhale and exhale together. Infinity Twist: Both bring your right hands to their left knee and both left hands to your own right knee, inhale to lengthen the spine, then exhale into a gentle twist and reconnect through the breath. After three breath cycles, release and twist to the left side. With your backs pressed together, observe your partner’s heartbeat. This may require you to pay closer attention. As you release, come back to neutral. Back and Forth: Maintain that back-to-back contact as you lean forward, so you’re leaning back against each other. Go slowly and wiggle into your waist to lengthen your spine. Your partner may place the soles of their feet against the floor as they come into a slight back bend with their arms open to the sides. If there is any pain or too much pressure is being applied, communicate! This is where you can develop your vocal skills with your partner, opening up a platform for talking about physical limitations and how you can assist one another. With partner yoga, one of you will be able to go farther than the other, and so you learn that give and take is as important here as it is in other aspects of the relationship. Once you’ve gone through a few breath cycles, they lower back to seated, while you walk your hands in to sit up, and then you reverse the roles. These exercises are three simple postures you can do together, and there are many tutorials on the internet that couples or best friends can try at home. As a yoga instructor, I always ask that you practice safety in the poses and listen closely to the messages your body is sending. I also highly suggest taking a class together, even if it isn’t a partner class. There are an infinite number of advantages to practicing yoga as an individual, but there are also crazy good benefits to practicing next to your favorite person. By practicing yoga, you come to know and love yourself. You find self-acceptance, a union of opposites within, and awareness and sensitivity to your own needs. When you are self-aware, self-accepting, self-responsible and self-loving, you’ll ultimately find these correlations within your connection to your loved one as well. Rian Dicke-Michels is a highly independent woman, an MSU Mankato graduate, a 200-hour certified yoga instructor, and the loving mother of a young child. Her goals in life are saturated with health, wellness, and loving oneself. “As a yogi,” she says, “I want to share this journey with you.”

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