WELCOMETO FAMILIESANONYMOUS
Welcome! At one time or another, we have all been in your shoes. We came to our first Families Anonymous (FA ) meeting angry, ashamed, confused, fearful, frustrated, hopeless and fed up. But then, as we continued to attend FA meetings, we gradually found a way to cope with our circumstances and learned a better way to live a way that permits us to live comfortably in spite of the actions of the people who brought us here.
Those of us who have been in the program fo while realize that it took us a number of week to decide that this was the right place for us. Had we made a decision after just one meet some of us might not have returned. By comin back, though, we discovered that we learn something new each week, because meeti vary, leaders change and different members attend.
Since this is a Twelve Step program, with many resources to offer and new options to consider, we encourage you to try at least six meetings. That way, you can become comfortable with the meeting format, decide whether and when to take advantage of opportunities to talk about your difficulties and challenges and begin learning ways to apply the Twelve Steps of FA to your life. FA meetings will provide you with a safe environment where you can share your feelings with people who will not judge you.
Many people find it helpful to seek out a particular FA member with whom they feel they can talk. You may notice a telephone list passed around at in-person meetings or phone numbers entered in the chat area of virtual meetings; these are primarily for you, the newcomer. If hearing a member share his or her experiences leads you to want to speak with that person, we encourage you to connect after a meeting or during the week. You’ll find that having FA members’ names and phone numbers is especially helpful during a crisis, when you have a difficult decision to make or when you just need to hear the voice of someone who understands and cares. In time, you may form a comfortable relationship with a more experienced member and may want to ask him or her to be your “ sponsor. ” A sponsor will help you focus on the Steps and guide you through them.
During the initial period, we encourage you to explore the FA recovery resources, ask questions about the meaning of “ program ” and share your experiences when you are ready. If other FA meetings are available in your area, attend them, too, or visit any of our online groups. Get to know FA. We are here to support you by offering you our presence, our understanding and our sharing of experiences. You may not know it, but your presence has already helped us in our recovery!
(SUD) is well known in today s society, few people are aware of how disastrous SUD’s effects are on the friends and families of loved ones who have this disorder. People who have not faced the challenges of addiction or alcoholism with someone close to them cannot understand the chaos that becomes a “ new norm ” of life: daily crises, frequent confrontations and the extreme stress of chronic anxiety.
Addiction is a "family disease." As persons addicted to drugs or alcohol engage in increasingly dysfunctional, dangerous or illegal behaviors, they often become caught up in the law enforcement system. Their family members then face the new challenge of responding to pleas for bail and demands for legal help. Honest, hardworking, conscientious people can eventually find themselves drained of both hope and resources.
Family members are often too embarrassed and ashamed to confide in, or discuss their problems with, their relatives or closest friends. Even if seeking counsel from psychiatrists, therapists, clergy or other professionals, most family members find themselves needing more practical help and support from people who are actually coping with the same insanity in their own lives.
FAMILIES ANONYMOUS
FAMILIESANONYMOUS isanorganizationof “fellowtravelers”offering proven,beneficialand practicalsupport.
FA meetings follow a format that explains the tradition of anonymity and the importance of using first names only. Traditionally, members take turns reading aloud from five readings that form the basis of the FA program and distinguish it from other programs:
About Substance Use Disorder
Four Destructive Forces
The Twelve Steps of FA
The Twelve Traditions of FA
Helping
FA has a spiritual basis formed on the principles of the Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, but it is not a religious program. Each member’s belief (or lack of belief) in a Higher Power is personal and private. FA is not affiliated with any religion, sect, political entity or institution.
There are no dues, fees or other obligations for membership. Voluntary donations made by meeting attendees cover expenses such as rent, FA literature purchases and donations to FA’s World Service Office. FA is wholly supported by its members and member groups, with no donations being accepted from any source outside the fellowship.
FA meetings focus on the Twelve Steps, Twelve Traditions and recovery topics drawn from FA slogans, a piece of FA-published literature or a reading from our daily inspiration book, Today a Better Way (TABW), often referred to as the "red book."
Members are encouraged to think about how the meeting's subject relates to them and to share their feelings about it. They can speak freely of their challenges and struggles, trusting that their fellow FA
members who have been through many of the same horrors are people who will understand, who will care, and who will respect their anonymity.
As members discuss the reality of SUD as a family disease, newcomers begin putting their own admitted powerlessness into perspective by acknowledging the validity of FA’s “Three Cs”:
With greater understanding and a change of attitudes, family members can begin laying their guilt to rest and relieving the tensions that stand in the way of recovery―both their own recovery and the recovery of their addicted loved ones.
