Ashamed
M
(This is a model, not the real person)
y early childhood was good. Our family was happy, although I don’t ever remember my siblings and me being close—we still aren’t to this day. My adolescent years were fairly normal until my dad started drinking heavily. He was like a totally different person every time he drank—almost anything could set him off into a rage. He didn’t usually get physical, but was very emotionally abusive with all of us kids and my mom. At around twelve, I began getting into trouble— smoking, hanging out with the wrong crowd, and things like that. My friends and I were involved in vandalizing homes in our area, and one fateful day we got caught! I can still vividly remember going to family court and being sternly warned if it happened one more time, I’d be put in reform school. The scare of being sent away, as well as, my mom introducing me to golf, helped focus my energies in a more positive direction. I grew to love the game of golf and began playing as often as I could. However, home life was not so great. We walked on pins and needles most of the time, not knowing when my father would blow. I dreaded 5:00 each day because that’s when he came home from work. I don’t want to paint my dad out to be this horrible monster. When he wasn’t drinking he
by “Scott Berry”
was very different—patient, kind and even loving. At about the age of fourteen, I was exposed to pornography for the first time. My friends would steal copies of magazines that we’d all look at. This became a mainstay in my life for years. At the same time, I became very good at golf. And though I loved the game, it was also important to make my dad proud of me. However, he never showed me he cared one way or the other. I played throughout high school and was awarded a full athletic scholarship to college. I lived in a suite in the athletic dorm on campus with the rest of the golf team. This school was known for its party atmosphere. The entire team was very wild without exception. We all practiced hard, studied some, and partied constantly. After graduation I moved back to my hometown, and landed a job working as a golf pro at a local club. During those years, I continued drinking and partying. I eventually lost my job and began bartending. This is the time in my life when I started to feel emptiness inside. I had a friend who’d become a Christian a few years before we met. He was, and is, a great guy and a tremendous witness for the Lord.
He’d invite me over to his home time and time again to talk to me about Jesus. I knew what he believed was real to him, but I just couldn’t see it for myself. Over the next few years, my life got really out of control. I was working during the day, and drinking and using drugs at night. I befriended a guy while bartending who introduced me to cocaine. I was getting lost in the partying, drugs and pornography and knew it couldn’t last. It was a dark period! I was so lost emotionally and spiritually at that time, and used to think to myself, I’ll probably not see my 30th birthday. In the fall of that year, I received a letter from one of my college buddies. He told me how he’d become a Christian, and what a difference Jesus had made in his life. This just blew me away. If you had only known “Ken,” this was truly a miracle! I was influenced by his letter, but still not convinced. I struggled through a few more years of darkness until one night I took a hit of LSD and had a horrible trip. I begged God to get me through the episode and promised if He did, I’d give my life to Him. Well, He did get me through it, and that day I picked up a book by Josh McDowell called, More Than a Carpenter. I spent the whole day reading, and when I finished it, I knew, without a doubt, that Jesus was real. I remember saying to myself, This is real and you have no more excuses. I got down on my knees and asked Jesus into my life. Suddenly all the things my friend had told me began making sense. The Holy Spirit opened my eyes to see the truth. Several years later, I met and married a sweet Christian girl. We could sit and talk for hours about almost anything. We found a great church and grew in our
faith. Life was good, and we both loved the Lord with all our hearts. We had three beautiful children, and as our kids were growing, there was an increasing need to have high speed internet for their studies. I hadn’t had a problem with porn for years, but here I was, a Christian father, raising three sons, and seemingly, out of the blue, those old temptations began to surface. It wasn’t much of a problem for the first year or so, but the temptation became stronger as time passed. I would fall in this area periodically and feel deep shame and guilt for betraying God and my precious wife. I always thought, This will be the last time. I felt that I could overcome the temptation with God’s help. However, that never happened. I guess I was in denial thinking I could conquer it on my own. Well, as God would have it, my wife caught me in the act! Understandably, she experienced emotional swings of hate, betrayal and lack of trust. I deserved every bit of it! We scheduled a three-day retreat at Faith Family with the hope of my getting help, as well as, restoring our relationship. And what an experience those three days were!! The truths we were exposed to were life changing! God showed me the way to freedom from my addictive behavior was found in relying totally on Him. That truth became so real! He also reminded us how much he loves us, and how much he wants me to be free of guilt and shame. We have taken what we received and incorporated it into our lives, realizing victory in areas we never thought possible! Thank you FFM from the bottom of our hearts!
DHA ...
an essential brain food HealthPoint
tudies have shown that brain tissue Scontains the highest concentration of
DHA (docosahexaenoic acid) in the body, which indicates its value for brain function. Those lacking in this nutrient often show cognitive deficiencies and an increased risk for Alzheimer’s. When NASA scientists began their search for the perfect space food for astronauts, they turned their attention to marine algae. What they discovered was that algae was a rich source of the fatty acid DHA. The result of their investigation produced a nutrient dense food that could be used not only for astronauts but for all of us. As a key fatty acid, this nutrient plays a critical role throughout the body and is a component of the brain’s cerebral cortex, the retina and human sperm. However, as we age, levels normally drop off, especially in the all-important hippocampus region of the brain. Studies have shown that supplementation to older animals results in the normalization of hippocampal content.
It is worth noting that children with high levels of DHA often perform better on tests. Also, depression is minimized by supplementing with DHA. Ask your doctor for the amount just right for you. Fish do not make DHA. Predatory ocean fish, our best animal source of omega-3 fatty acids, consume smaller fish and crustaceans. They, in turn, feed on algae. While most people obtain their DHA from fish or fish oil supplements, NASA’s discovery created an option for those who need to boost their levels to avoid cognitive degeneration. Without this discovery, vegetarians would be dangerously deficient, leaving them vulnerable to chronic diseases, especially those of the brain that affect cognition and memory. Thanks to our space program, the benefits of DHA are available for everyone who seeks to avoid the risk of brain dysfunction. A note of caution—always check with your health care provider to be sure that DHA is a nutrient that is safe for your use.
Forward Moving We are designed to be goal strivers. God
created us to move forward, so remaining stagnant is not an option for believers. It’s much like riding a bicycle. If you’re not pedaling, the bike gets wobbly and falls over. It was designed for movement. If you feel unsteady and confused, perhaps it’s time to regroup and find God’s next step for your life. The Lord tells us, “His word is a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path.” I’ve wondered what that passage said to those original hearers, and how they interrupted its meaning. As I researched the context, I was reminded that the light available to those early believers was an oil lamp. It only provided enough light for the next step they were to take. It wasn’t a Lucas beam that shined far down the path, but a small patch of light that enabled them to see the step just ahead. When that step was taken, the next was illuminated. Little by little, step by step, they reached their destination. God provides light for our paths today, but it’s only enough light for our next step. It’s still our decision whether to step forward as He directs. He didn’t create
us to be robots, but rather He made us with a will to choose His path or ours. Sure we must keep our focus on the step we’re on, but always with an “eye” toward our next one. Then the others will become clearer as we move forward. However, if we’re taking steps in a direction not compatible with God’s word, they will be fuzzy and unclear. Clarity only comes where He sheds His light. When we began FFM in 1979, God “told” us to never put the ministry in debt. And we never have! Through the years, we have seen occasions where borrowing money might allow us to move the ministry forward more rapidly. But we always had a check in our spirit about doing that because of our commitment to keep FFM debt free. Had we chosen to ignore our promise to God, the economic downturn of 2008 could have placed Faith Family in jeopardy of losing all the Lord had provided. We had a choice to make — our way or God’s — and we have never regretted following His lead. Remember, life is not about reaching your destination, but rather, taking the forward steps the Lord shows you!
I
What A Child Really Needs From You ...
n the faint light of the attic, an old man, tall and stooped, bent his great frame and made his way to a stack of boxes that sat near one of the little halfwindows. Brushing aside a wisp of cobwebs, he tilted the top box toward the light and began to carefully lift out one old photograph album after another. Eyes once bright but now dim searched longingly for the source that had drawn him here. It began with the fond recollection of the love of his life, long gone, and somewhere in these albums was a photo of her he hoped to rediscover. Silent as a mouse, he patiently opened the long buried treasures and soon was lost in a sea of memories. Although his world had not stopped spinning when his wife left it, the past was more alive in his heart than his present aloneness. Setting aside one of the dusty albums, he pulled from the box what appeared to be a journal from his grown son’s childhood. He could not recall ever having seen it before, or that his son had ever kept a journal. Why did Elizabeth always save the children’s old junk? he wondered, shaking his white head. Opening the yellowed pages, he glanced over a short reading, and his lips curved in an unconscious smile. Even his eyes brightened as he read the words that spoke clear and sweet to his soul. It was the voice of the little boy who had grown up far too fast in this very house, and whose voice had grown fainter and fainter over the years. In the utter silence of the attic, the words of a guileless six-year-old worked their magic and carried the old man back to a time almost totally forgotten. Entry after entry stirred a sentimental hunger in his heart like the longing a gardener feels in the winter for the fragrance of spring flowers. But it was accompanied by the painful memory that his son’s simple recollections of those days were far different from his own. But how different?
Reminded that he had kept a daily journal of his business activities over the years, he closed his son’s journal and turned to leave, having forgotten the cherished photo that originally triggered his search. Hunched over to keep from bumping his head on the rafters, the old man stepped to the wooden stairway and made his descent, then headed down a carpeted stairway that led to the den. Opening a glass cabinet door, he reached in and pulled out an old business journal. Turning, he sat down at his desk and placed the two journals beside each other. His was leather-bound and engraved neatly with his name in gold, while his son’s was tattered and the name “Jimmy” had been nearly scuffed from its surface. He ran a long skinny finger over the letters, as though he could restore what had been worn away with time and use. As he opened his journal, the old man’s eyes fell upon an inscription that stood out because it was so brief in comparison to other days. In his own neat handwriting were these words: “Wasted the whole day fishing with Jimmy. Didn’t catch a thing.” With a deep sigh and a shaking hand, he took Jimmy’s journal and found the boy’s entry for the same day, June 4. Large scrawling letters, pressed deeply into the paper, read: “Went fishing with my Dad. Best day of my life.” This story was taken from a book entitled, To A Child, LOVE is Spelled T-I-M-E, by Mac Anderson & Lance Wubbels. Over 100,000 copies of this little book have been sold, and it won the Gold Medallion Award for the inspirational gift book of the year (from over 500 entries). The photos, the quotes, and the stories will all “knock your socks off.” Pick up your copy at simpletruth.com.