Trapped in a dark pit (This is a model, not the real person)
brought up with two older brothers Iwhowasabused me sexually. Often they’d wake
me up in the middle of the night to molest me. They tormented me in other ways as well! One time they put me in a fifty gallon drum, fastened the lid and sat on it. I screamed and clawed to get out, but the more I screamed, the harder they laughed. I remember another time, being held down as one of them dripped hot lemon juice into my eyes. They’d frequently tie me to a chair, clothed or naked, and watch me struggle to free myself. When I tried to tell my mother, she just brushed it off, saying, “If they’re doing stuff like that to you, then you probably did something to deserve it.” I was treated harshly by my father, too. Once I accidently left the side gate unlatched. There was a huge storm that night and the gate was blown off its hinges. My dad got home from work about One A.M. and woke me up, dragged me outside in the rainstorm and insisted I fix it. Another time I awoke to my father dumping a bag of garbage on my bed because I hadn’t taken it out as I’d been instructed. However, he and I had some good times, too. He was very supportive of my involvement in athletics. I was a good soccer player, and he tried to make it to all my games.
by “Vicky Trent”
My folks had a terrible marriage and eventually split up. I stayed with my dad since my mother and I didn’t get along. After they broke up, my already difficult relationship with Mom totally fell apart. She was so angry with me that we’d sometimes go weeks without talking. I was constantly in trouble at school, but no one ever saw this as a red flag. I don’t know why they didn’t look for something underlying my behavior, but none of them ever did. All I got out of it was punishment. When I was eighteen I went off to college, leaving my past behind. Amid my studies, I spent many hours partying and getting drunk. I worked at a medical clinic for a Christian family, who consistently shared Christ with me. And by the end of my freshman year, I accepted Him as my Savior after a weekend long drunk. I began to realize that as a new believer I couldn’t easily keep my faith while attending a liberal university, so I decided to take some time off from school. I continued working, and that’s where I met my future husband. “Jim” came into the clinic one day, and it didn’t take long for us to become friends ... we soon found ourselves serious about each other.
It was a very happy day when “Jim” proposed, but shortly after our wedding, I received a phone call that pulled my past right back to the present like a slap in the face! My eldest brother contacted me to apologize for the abuse. I had managed to suppress most of it, but his call brought it all up again, and I was a wreck after that! Desperate to keep all this locked inside, I walked away from Christ, burying myself in my work, my marriage and having children. I gave birth to three wonderful kids. During that time, I managed to graduate from med school and begin a practice. However, depression was creeping in and would eventually take over my life. I was fine at work, but nights and weekends, I’d be bombarded with feelings of shame, guilt and self-hatred. I’d use food to numb the pain by restricting, or doing the binge and purge routine. When that didn’t work any longer, I tried medication. Then finally I experimented with selfharm. I went from minor scratching to severe cutting, which required suturing and an overnight stay in ICU after surgery to repair a huge laceration. By this time my mental illness was worsening, and I had to quit work. I was sent to a state-run psych hospital for three months, which was a nightmarish experience! This was the start of “Jim” considering divorce. I lapsed into a deep depression that negatively affected the kids. I still wasn’t back to work and spent most of my time in bed. Soon I found myself in the psych hospital again, which was the catalyst for “Jim” to file for divorce and custody of our children. Within months, I crashed emotionally.
Sorrow and shame overtook every part of my being. Loneliness and guilt suffocated me. Suddenly, I found myself returning to my comfortable but terrible coping skill of cutting. I’d cut and then suture myself three times without anybody knowing what I was doing. I had gone back to work and was seeing my kids, while hiding this relapse from everybody. However, when my destructive thoughts and actions continued to worsen, I knew I couldn’t work through them nor have a fruitful life without Christ. That’s when I rededicated my life to Him. A close friend encouraged me to go to Faith Family for help, but I was reluctant. Nothing had worked before, why try this place? However, I was desperate to get out of my depression. I wanted to be happy for a change! I knew I needed to accept the past, deal with it once and for all, and not pick it up again. I hadn’t been able to get beyond my guilt, shame and anger to “see” God. I didn’t think He’d even accept me if I came before Him. But, the Morgans helped me to trust and hope again! I didn’t know exactly what to expect at the retreat. The PTSD was debilitating; so, of course, I hoped they’d at least deal with that. And, indeed they did ... plus all the other issues I was facing! Their gentle manner let me know I could trust them, and I was able to open up and share what was going on inside. The freedom I received is indescribable! There just aren’t words to adequately express what God did! Once again I can love and allow others to love me with no shame left to hide anymore! Thank You Lord for giving me my life back!!
“Experts” Flaunt Their Ignorance
F
ollowing is an excerpt from a stinging letter written by Dr. Sherry Rogers to the Wall Street Journal.
Dear Wall Street Journal Editors, As a medical physician for 43 years, I was shocked by the blatant ignorance displayed in the article, “Is this the end of popping vitamins?” (Wang SS, D1, D4, October 25, 2011). Shame on your writers and editors for an inexcusably damaging, one-sided interview with “experts” who are flaunting their ignorance of any molecular biochemical proof of the healing of nutrients that has been in existence for the last half century. No wonder we have men getting 12-point core biopsies of the prostate gland when the PSA can be totally normalized often with as little as one mineral costing 9 cents a day, or folks making their memories 12 years younger in just 3 months with pennies for a single nutrient. This article was an insult to the thousands of researchers who have proven the incomparable value of nutrients in the molecular biochemistry of healing, not to mention we, who have spent our lives collating the scientific evidence and using it to help folks heal the impossible.
HealthPoint Dr. Sherry stated that this article was an example of dozens that have appeared over the last couple of years which she thinks is setting the stage to take nutrients off the market as has already been done to some degree in various countries. First, the author of the article cited studies that have already been discussed in detail in her newsletter, Total Wellness. For example, the study “proving” that vitamin E couldn’t help any disease? She said, “Of course, it couldn’t the way they were testing it! “The researchers were so blatantly ignorant that (1) they used synthetic vitamin E (proven to actually negate any positive effect of real vitamin E that you get in your foods), (2) they grossly underdosed it, (3) they did not balance it with other nutrients, and (4) worst of all, they only used one of the eight forms of vitamin E. That’s like going to the car dealer and saying you can only afford to buy one out of every eight parts of the car, but you expect it to work.” The pharmaceutical companies want vitamins banned. However, over a decade ago, it was shown that prescription drugs are a leading cause of death in the U.S. — Go figure!
What’s Holding You Back? hen the Lord takes hold of your life and W begins to point out areas where you have
been negligent in your commitment to Him, do you begin to defend yourself? If so, you’re not unusual. Most people try to justify their actions regardless of Who points out their laziness, thoughtlessness or out-right rebellion. We all know that the proper response is, “You’re right, Lord, I missed it! I’m sorry, and I’m thankful for Your forgiveness!” So why don’t people do what they know instead of making excuses? Their problem goes back to PRIDE and pride is Sin! It’s the kind of pride that says, “God, I know what I’m doing, and I can handle this situation or circumstance myself!” But, the reality is, they cannot. Jesus said, “Without Me, you can do ... nothing!” Sure, we all know the verse, but when emotions get involved, often people throw what they “know” out the window and do what they “feel.” The Lord is always there to help you pick up the pieces, but each of those decisions will produce consequences, and those consequences can often be difficult to overcome. So another decision must be made, and
that is to repent. But repentance is not just saying, “I was wrong.” Repentance is that, but it also requires you to make a plan to humble yourself. Without a plan, you have very little chance of walking in freedom from the grip of pride. But, what does a plan look like? How can you put together a strategy to walk in humility (which is dependence on God and the opposite of pride)? The answer to that question can be found in James 4:7, “Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.” Submission to God is absolutely essential to resisting the devil. With submission comes the power to stand against the lure of pride. Simply saying, “God, I need You to be my life!” will begin that first step toward the three conditions set forth in Micah 6:8, “to do justly, to love mercy, and to walk humbly with your God.” And that humble attitude coupled with reliance on God will banish the enemy, sending him scurrying away! Don’t let pride hold YOU back—make a plan for success!
C
“Standing in the Gap”
hristians have the mind of Christ. But you can actually have HIS mind and still live a defeated life. That’s right. Without even realizing it, you can allow the flesh to dictate your thinking rather than the Lord. What a scary thought! I’d hate for my flesh to guide my decisions! But, it’s my choice whether or not to do so! Don’t you just cringe when you hear someone assert that the Lord told them to do a certain thing when it’s actually coming from their flesh? The Bible says the Lord will give us the desires of our heart. (Ps.37:4) But some think that means He’ll give us the desires of our flesh. My belief about this Scripture is that the Lord gives us His desires (places them within us). I’ve said this before, but it bears repeating. Most people I know are way too busy. Their schedules are so packed, they hardly have time to regroup between the frenzied activities that make up their day. With so many distractions in life, practicing the presence of God takes focus. And without it, you will surely practice the presence of the flesh (your false self )! Renewing our minds is absolutely essential in order to live the life our heavenly Father has designed for us. The Lord Jesus did ONLY what His Father empowered Him to do, and it’s our privilege to do ONLY what the Lord empowers us to do. What’s on HIS mind is the recurring theme of loving God and loving others. There is no greater way to love others than to stand in the gap for them through prayer. God set in motion a great plan for Christians to pray for our fellow believers and non-believers alike. While I am not a called intercessor, I love it when God allows me to be part of another’s healing. I get to do that at our retreats, but because I want more, I devised a plan. I’ve seen such dramatic results through prayer,
so I’m always seeking ways to remind myself to pray. But because I’ve seen such dramatic results through prayer, I’m always seeking ways to remind myself to pray. Often when someone crosses my mind, usually due to some “natural” occurrence, I lift them to the Lord. Not a LONG prayer, just a sentence or two. I started this many years ago when the Lord gave me the assignment of praying for my sister, Donna. After she was miraculously changed, I was hooked! There’s a couple who has been instrumental in our ministry. Not just with their finances, but with their personal involvement as well. Naturally, they’re often in our thoughts. At some point in our relationship, I asked Ms. B to help me with my wardrobe. She’s VERY stylish, and my tendency is to wear whatever I have—no matter whether it’s in style or not. Anyway, she took a look in my closet and patiently made a stack of items she thought I might want to consider discarding. This stack turned out to be about half of my wardrobe. But she didn’t stop there. Many times when we visited in their home, she’d give me something out of her closet. So you can see why she might frequently come to mind. I’m usually wearing something she gave me! Of course, family is on my mind a great deal. So outside of my regular devotional times where they’re prayed for, they get additional coverage as I think of them. Then there are thoughts of our ministry supporters, counselees, our church, community and sometimes people from our past. If someone shows up in a dream, for instance, I use that to prompt me to pray for them. Loving God and loving others is the theme of our Savior’s heart, and when we’re doing as HE does, it’ll be our theme as well! And I can’t think of any greater way to show love than to stand in the gap for another!