Vol. 15, No. 3
May, 2011
Hope Restored (The
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picture in this story is a model, not the actual person)
thank God from the bottom of my heart for leading my husband and me to Faith Family! They have an amazing ministry—the presence of Jesus is all over it! We went to South Carolina with a lot of hurt and pain, but Dr. Bill and Toni helped us overcome our fears as the Lord set us free! Though we’d been married only a few short years, our relationship was in a mess! All my dreams for a happy Christian home were shattered, and I faced each day with dread and a sense of hopelessness. While we were dating, David confided in me that he struggled with an addiction to pornography and masturbation. It started all the way back in junior high when his best friend showed him a magazine with “dirty” pictures. When he was in high school,
by “Katy Fox”
he’d sneak into his family’s computer room at night and watch porn while everyone was asleep. He describes the addiction as needing a “fix.” If he went too long without it, he even experienced the shivers until he got “it” again. I was completely torn up when he confessed he’d visited a strip club. But I thought he’d be sexually content after the wedding. All this was very disgusting to me, but again I felt sure once we married, it’d no longer be an issue. However, it didn’t work out that way! I would come to learn that wholesome sex is a far cry from sordid sex. One who indulges in this kind of thing can’t ever be satisfied, and thus, the enemy is able to take you to a deeper level each time. Some of my friends have shared with me that their husbands are
trapped in this bondage as well. The devil is deceiving a lot of men—even our Christian men! It was so difficult to be a supportive wife, as it caused intense pain in my soul each time he shared another failure. His addictions were feeding my insecurities. You see, I struggled my whole life with feeling unattractive, and each time he admitted to another slipup, it’d cause me to see myself as ugly and rejected all over again. I wanted to be supportive, but I was hurting too badly— this all became such a vicious cycle! Satan had us in a vice, and we knew no way of escape. I grew up in a Christian home, and we were a very happy family until my dad died. I was in the sixth grade, and his sudden death threw me for a loop. Here I was—an eleven year old daddy’s girl, who was now fatherless. I became very mad at God. I wanted so badly to understand why He’d let this happen. Everything was going so well ... why, God? Why did You do this to us? In the years following my dad’s death, things were real hard—hard
on our whole family. We were so angry. I really feel that when we lost our dad, we all gained a hardness and bitterness in our hearts. I went through most of my school years pretty mad and frustrated, feeling empty inside. Thankfully things began to change when a Christian friend at my high school invited me to her Bible Study. Through the study and the encouragement of this friend, I started realizing I wasn’t fatherless, but instead had a heavenly Father who loved me and promised never to leave or forsake me. I met David after I graduated from college. His upbringing was very different from mine. I was a compliant child growing up, but Dave on the other hand, had a mischievous streak in him. He always wanted to touch whatever was forbidden. He delighted in doing the opposite of what he was told, and reveled in leading his younger brothers along this same path. His mom and dad were distant, which made for a lot of tension in 2
their home. Mr. Fox traveled with his job and wasn’t involved with the family all that much. Mrs. Fox was, and is to this day, very controlling and manipulative. Dave and his siblings pretty much did what she wanted, until she wasn’t looking, that is. All he and his brothers wanted to do was play computer games. I guess this was their way of escaping the pain of emotional abandonment. Their mother is the type that one has to cater to—or else they’ll regret it. I guess, because I struggle with control issues myself, I can easily spot it in others. Anyway, you can see how this relationship created additional chaos in our marriage. My husband always wanted to appease his mother, but I wanted to stand up to her. Of course, it usually ended in a big fight between us. It was miserable for me every time we visited. But if we didn’t go, Mrs. Fox made Dave and me both feel guilty. It was a no win situation! We got very little support from his dad, because the last thing he wanted to do was cross his wife. I actually like Mr. Fox, but I have a hard time respecting him. I’m sure Dave’s dysfunctional home life contributed to his escaping into addictions. I have to admit, if I’d been him, I would’ve wanted to 3
escape myself. Because of these issues, Dave knew nothing of being a leader. Plus, many times it was hard to get him to reach down deep enough to look at his true feelings, much less share them. Well, all this was the impetus for our seeking help. At first Dave was hesitant, but things got to such a fever pitch in our relationship, that he knew we had no choice—we HAD to get help! We were both nervous when we arrived at FFM, but were instantly made to feel right at home. In our very first session, we were literally lifted to the throne of God, and the Lord was there to hold us and soothe our pain. That’s the best way to describe what happened. Our Father just enveloped us in His love! The Morgans’ dedication to hurting people is awesome—they sure put us on the right track! We now have a fresh start! Of course, we understand there’s a lot of unlearning and relearning how to better relate to each other, but with the bondage gone, we now have a “fighting” chance! The bonus is that with the transformation that has taken place in our marriage, we can now tell our story and share Christ in a way that will hopefully impact others!
H
Be of Good Cheer
ow can I be of good cheer with so many things going wrong in my life—where’s God in all this? Have you ever asked those questions? Without understanding why you face trials, you could grow despondent when they occur—and even get downright mad. However, if you’ll keep seeking, in time God’s purposes may become clear to you. Going through trials helps us grow, and no matter how much we’d like to, we can’t rush the process. Growth just takes time. Bill and I have walked with the Lord for several decades. God reveals more and more to us with each passing year—and many times through trials and difficulties. A couple of incidents occurred about this time last year. We were happily minding our own business, doing the work of the Lord, when two separate attacks came at us out of the blue. This was rather shocking, as we’ve always tried to be kind to everyone we meet and had, for the most part, received kindness in return. Well regardless, here they both
came, and from two different sources! We knew the necessity of forgiveness, and quickly took care of that. We also understood the command to love our enemies, which for us, translated into praying for them. Still the attacks continued. We sought the Lord for any sin in our lives—totally open to the conviction of the Holy Spirit, so we could repent. Yet nothing. We rebuked Satan. Still nothing. Then God brought a couple of verses to our mind. Isaiah 26:3, “You will keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on You.” And also John 16:33, where Jesus said, “These things I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world.” God sometimes blesses us through trials, rather than delivering us out of them. However, I don’t care who you are, it still hurts to be attacked, doesn’t it? But take heart and be of good cheer—the Lord is doing a good work in your life! 4
What’s On Your Mind? D
oes the economy have you uptight? Do the headlines cause a knot in your stomach? Are you concerned about where your country is heading? All these issues have a tendency to cause your stress level to rise—which makes life much less enjoyable! Did you know that what you think about affects your emotions? And your emotions have a direct effect on your body. This, in turn, affects your ability to perform normal tasks, which then affects your thinking—and the cycle starts all over again. Modern medical research has proven that worry, which is wrong thinking, breaks down your resistance to disease. More than that, it actually afflicts the nervous system, particularly the ability of the digestive organs and heart. So you see, worry can literally destroy your health.
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If your physical body can be affected by your thoughts, how then are you to think? Paul says in Philippians, to focus your mind on things that really matter. Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy — meditate [or think] on these things (Phil.4:8). Since God has directed us to keep our minds stayed on Him, what do we do with the information that bombards us all day long and often well into the night? Our job is to filter that information through the grid of God’s plan for us. The Lord used the prophet Jeremiah to tell us that His desire is for our good and not our harm, to give us a future
and a hope (Jer. 29:11). We need to realize we are simply passing through this life, and we can walk in the victory Christ purchased, no matter what is going on around us. Christ is our life, and we have the responsibility and privilege of allowing that Life to flow through us. Worry comes from the enemy, and produces emotional and physical distress. That’s why so many have become dependent on doctor prescribed anti-depressants. It has been stated that we worry about things, ninety percent of which will never happen, and the ten percent that do, don’t turn out as badly as we had imagined. Worry is a waste of our time, energy and health. God has given us His truth to overcome this destructive pattern, but we have to walk in it, if we expect it to do us any good. Set your mind on the awe-
s o m e power of God and continually show Him your gratitude for His love and goodness to you. Make a list, review it often, add to it daily—keep it uppermost in your mind. Know that the Lord has not forgotten you. He’s there and has promised to never leave or forsake you. Does that mean everything will work out the way you’d like? Yes and no. David tells us in Psalms 37:4 that as we delight ourselves in the Lord, He will give us the desires of our heart—not the desires of our flesh. Big difference! If we accept God’s will for us, then our heart wants what His heart wants. Let’s pray the way Jesus did in the Garden. Father, You know what I would like, but not my will — only Yours! 6
Dear Treasured Friend,
De-Stress Your Life
Internet pornography is ripping homes apart and ruining many relationships. Our story features a couple faced with this struggle, but as you’ll see, the addiction is just the symptom of a much deeper issue.
Part 2
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n the HealthPoint article of our last IK, we shared some stretching and breathing techniques designed to help relieve stress. This time we’ll focus on diet and exercise. Bill and I are in our sixties. We’ve been students of good health practices for a long time. Through the years, we’ve developed a balanced lifestyle that works well for us. Everyone has their theory, and we’ve tried many of them, but not everything works for everyone. It’s important to find what fits you. Both of us are healthy, feel great, have lots of energy and love life! What I’m sharing in this series of articles are things that work well for us in managing stress. It’s my hope that you’ll pick up some tips that will help you as well. Meal times have been a real challenge for us as Bill can eat almost anything because his metabolism is so high. I, on the other hand, have to “watch” what I eat. Since I’m not all that creative in the kitchen, I depend on the experts who develop healthy recipes to make my menus nutritious and appealing. 7
HealthPoint A few of the items I’ve learned to avoid include sugar, caffeine, white flour & rice, margarine, artificial sweeteners, MSG & other preservatives. If we go out to eat and decide to make an exception, we do so, but I don’t keep these items in our home. We have an exercise regimen and enjoy working out together. Because we like multi-tasking, there’s often a teaching DVD playing, so that our spiritual life is enhanced as we workout. Walking and biking are also great stress-busters. We have a wonderful little lake behind our property with a walking path around it. When we get out there early enough, we’re often the only ones on the path—us and the geese! Most everyone has a place they can walk near their home, and it’s also a great time for “just visiting” with your walking partner or having a personal prayer time. The important thing is to begin somewhere. Forming healthy habits will make a huge difference in your ability to cope with stress.
In the center article, we share how difficulties can de-rail our faith if we’re focused on the “event” rather than God. His truth sets us free to be all He designed us to be—and no matter what life dishes out, He will be there to walk through it with us.
Dr. Bill & Toni Morgan Founders & Directors
See The article, Be of Good Cheer, deals with experiencing joy through trials. Does the Gospel actually work in the nitty-gritty what’s of life? Absolutely! The Good News is very practical and works included in everyday situations—as we live from our heart. just for you ...
Over the last few months, we’ve received encouragement from many of our friends and supporters around the world. What a joy to know so many are standing with us in the battle. As we’ve said before, it takes all of us linking our arms together to see the enemy defeated in the lives of God’s precious children. Thanks for helping in whatever way you can!
Our Very Best To You!
Faith Family Ministries
4011 Fenworth Court Fort Mill, SC 29715 Locations in SC & GA
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803.554.HOPE (4673)
fffm@faithfamily.net - www.faithfamily.net
Faith Family Ministries
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