FabMagUK Issue 04 Valentines

FabMag uk

w

Forty & beyond

issue 04 / february 2021 w

w The

LOVE Issue w

Feel the love this month with our February issue focused on selfcare, confidence and acceptance.

a message

from us We are Back!!!

Welcome to 2021, Fab Style.

Of course it’s not the start we hoped for but with the vaccines now available it looks like there is at last some hope. Hope we can return to some kind of familiar life.

We are in the month of LOVE and we have a collection of uplifting reads for you all about selflove and acceptance we know you will enjoy.

Of course, during this time at home a lot of us have been watching Netflix and box sets. The stand out series are of course; Bridgerton and The Serpent.

We have been chatting to a costumer who worked on the beautiful Bridgerton fashion and getting an insight of just what goes into making such an epic drama look so authentic. There’s home style and fashion inspiration from The Serpent, and we have make up and hair looks to try at home.

All in all, a jam packed fun issue for you to enjoy.

So grab a brew sit down, relax and enjoy. We are so glad you could make it!

Zee x

Editor Forty & Beyond Magazine UK.

Hi everyone! A very happy new year to all our lovely readers!

This is our fourth and FABulous issue...and my favourite one to date!

I, like the majority of the world have been absolutley fixated on the new hit show; Bridgerton, so imagine my delight when Zee told me we were going to be talking to the man who made some of the costumes!

What a treat!

I’m a big fashion lover, but even more a great lover of secondhand & vintage fashion. I set up an instagram page nearly two years ago completely dedicated to my secondhand buys and thrifty fashion, it’s grown in number since my first glitter disco ball post, and I’ve met some lovely, likeminded friends through this page who share their own fashions and homestyle. If secondhand is your thing, take a look over on Instagram: thebootsalekid.

I’ve had so much fun designing this issue,and I hope you have just as much fun reading it!

Alix x

Designer Forty & Beyond Magazine UK. February 2021 / issue 04

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Contents 8

Laila Rouass

15

Chrissie Bray

18

Rachel Peru

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beautiful bridgerton

On her acting career and her new wellbeing website ‘Whole and then some UK’

Learning to love yourself after a serious illness.

Talks to founder of Lucy May lingerie & having confidence in yourself

Costume Maker xxx on working on the fashions seen on new most watched Drama

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50

w 28 Chalita frost

On eentering a new age bracket and decade

32 sIOBHAN DANIELS

Loving yourself after 60 years and a journey into self discovery

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34 Hayley ethers

44 Valentines playlist

36 Valentines day

47 February Podcasts

Menopause in my teens

gift guide

On why loving yourself is not self indulgent

30 gail genster

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41 Treat yourself with the help of our love themed gift guide.

38 STAR MONROE

The Mid Life Movement & being confident

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70’s love Our 70’s home interior inspo

Compiled by Love Me Do Clothing

Three of our favourite Podcasts from this month,take a listen!

48 Helen Ponder

The diet continues & how I survived through christmas!

50 serpant fashion

Fashion inspired by the amazing show February 2021 / issue 04

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A special FABMAG shoutout to two of our lovely contributors.

Both wonderful ladies are entering into a new decade & we want to wish both Gail & Hayley the most FAB birthdays.

FabMag fortyandbeyondmaguk uk

@gmail.com

Our team w

EDITOR Zena Battersby Designer

gail genster

Gail is turning 60, and doesn’t she look GREAT! Gail speaks to us this month about new challenges and finding your motivation.

Turn to page 30 to read more

Hayley ethers

OPS & OPS

Hayley is turning 40 and entering a wonderful new decade. Hayley spoke to us this month about finding out she was entering the menopause whilst she was still just a teenager.

Turn to page 34 to read more

With special thanks to all of our contributors this month...

Star Monroe, Gail Genster, Lara Fudge, Chalita Frost, Helen Ponder, Chrissie Bray, Rachel Peru, Siobhan Daniels & Hayley Ethers 6

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Alix Pamela Shaw

Our favourite Love song this month: Zee: So I got sung down the isle by a friend of mine to Etta James ‘at last’ and we were sung out to Jackie Wilsons ‘your love keeps lifting me’ Our first dance was Ed Sheerans ‘Kiss me’ (don’t judge !!) and I love ‘until there was you’ by The Beatles.

Alix: I heard my favourite ever love song watching Moulin Rouge when I was a teenager. ‘Come what may’ sung by Nicole Kidman & Ewan McGregor. It made me cry my eyes out & still does to this day. The lyrics are beautiful.

Fabmag UK is a registered trademark and an online publication.

Reproduction in whole or in any part is strictly forbidden without written permission from the Editor, Zena Battersby.

The views expressed in the magazine are not neccessarily those of the editor.

All images used are copyright to the photographers, who have been credited throughout the magazine.

February 2021 / issue 04

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ith a lustrous

Laila Rouass 8

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Photo:JamesRutland/www.jamesaugustusphotogaphy.com

film career in Hollywood, Asia and the UK and being cast in some of the most popular British TV of the 90’s and 00’s, Laila Rouass still looks every inch the Hollywood star. Laila oozes glamour and has looks nowhere near her 49 years. In fact you could be forgiven for thinking she’s walked straight off the set of Keeping up with the Kardashians.

A comparison I’m sure she’s used to by now.

Laila has had long standing roles in UK TV shows such as Spooks, Holby City, Prime Evil, Midsomer Murders and Strictly in which Leila finished fourth!

But it’s her role as Amber Turner in the Glamarama fest that was Footballers wives, that she is maybe most remembered for. Certainly by our generation anyway. A show about, you guessed it, the wives of premier footballers and all the drama that went with it.

ITV’s Footballers wives won an array TV awards and catapulted the cast to infamy in this camp and decadent drama we loved to escape into.

Fast forward to 2021 now living with her partner in the UK and she launched her own wellbeing and self compassion website called ‘whole and then some uk’ you can keep up to

date with all the latest posts and reels and get your daily dose of self worth and self appreciation checks from Laila here at @ wholeandthensomeuk. So grab a cup of something and enjoy my chat with Laila …

Hey Laila, firstly you look incredible!! Secondly, welcome to our virtual Fab Mag HQ and thank you for taking the time to chat to me, I know you’ve been busy filming Holby.

“it’s like returning to an old friend.

Holby is such a wonderful family”

Hi Zee, its lovely to chat to you, yes I’ve just finished for the day.

It must be great to be back? Lets dive straight in; tell me a bit more about your new project, 4 ‘Whole and then some’ February 2021 / issue 04

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In footballers wives

“We wouldn’t accept harsh talks and criticism from strangers yet we accept it from ourselves all the time.”

Photo:JamesRutland/www.jamesaugustusphotogaphy.com

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to take it all on board and learn it and use it.

I enjoyed it so much I wanted to open up a platform and share what I’d learnt and put it into everyday life. As women, we are so hard on ourselves. We wouldn’t accept harsh talks and criticism from strangers yet we accept it from ourselves all the time.So Self Kindness and passing on the tools to help other women has become a passion of mine.

Being hard on yourself is a hard habit to get out of.

I’ve been researching other forms of learning and I was really struck by Kristin Neff.

She’s an associate Professor in the University of Texas at Austin’s department of educational psychology. She’s created the

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photo:Gettyimages

Ah thank you; Yes its like returning to an old friend. Holby is such a wonderful family.

Ok, so at the start of this new chapter for me, I Studied at Yale University. I did The Science Of Happiness Course. It’s something I had wanted to do for a while.

Where you engage in a series of challenges designed to increase your own happiness and build more productive habits.

You gain skills like gratitude, happiness, meditation and savouring. All skills we don’t concentrate on in the modern world. It’s very much spiritual based off of research. I’m a very practical person so it was challenging but I’ve always been fascinated by religion and philosophers, so when you’re interested in something it’s easy

self-compassion scales. There’s a long and a short one and she developed these 20 years ago.

I’m going to complete the 6-part programme on finding your own happiness. It’s something I’m going to incorporate into Whole and then some.

I’m interested in Hedonic adaption, where we return to old familiar habits because they’re familiar regardless of whether they are bad for us or not. I’m also familiar with Stoicism and Epictetus. They all talk about the same thing, which is personal development and growth. There’s a lot more to it and I think we are fed so much negativity in the media its something I hope more people will be open to.

It’s a really tough time to be alone at the moment and if you’re being hard on yourself also it can be even tougher. If we share our experiences we are happier and it’s so important to help each other 4 and have compassion.

With Partner Snooker Player Ronnie O’sullivan

February 2021 / issue 04

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What have been your favourite jobs and what programmes are you into or like the rest of us binge watching?

I can’t really choose but of course Footballers Wives was a lot of fun and really of its time. We had so much fun.

I love listening to Badass women’s hr on Talk Radio ,Shitts creek, stick with it with. The Crown, Netflix, lupin, The Mask singer, (I thought it was really cheesy to start with but I love it!!) the voice and dancing on ice. They’re keeping us entertained at the moment.

Photo:BBC In strictly

I’ve got my nutritional diploma, which I hope to incorporate into the whole and then some programme.

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We’ve got sex and the city coming back (without Samantha which is a shame) and we get to catch up with these women who are now in their 50’s which is great. Then you’ve got more women of colour as female leads like Viola Davis in ‘how to get away with Murder’ you know its changing it really is we can see it and it feels great.

What’s life like as an actor. Do you think having to deal with rejection at castings toughens

you up or do you think it can really impact your self-esteem?

Lots of people say you must develop a thick skin. But what if you don’t, is that something that inspired you to start WATS? Acting can be a brutal world.

But the industry has changed a lot and what was once acceptable isn’t any longer. Of course firstly how women and youngsters are treated but also years ago you would be given a script to learn in such a short space of time. It was impossible so now I refuse to work that way. It’s disrespectful and stressful and it does affect your confidence. You can end up feeling not good enough. So there’s probably an element of that driving WATS

“Acting can be a brutal world. But the industry has changed a lot ” A lot of them are sold off. But I do still have a couple of pairs of ballroom shoes that I will always keep as a memento. w

Photo:BBC

That is something that’s going to resonate with so many of us. I will most definitely be following and keeping up to date with your launch. So,Looking back over your career do you think the industry has changed how they treat female actors and how do you find the industry at the moment especially with Covid impacting the Arts?

There has definitely been a shift over the last ten years. With the birth of NETFLIX there’s a lot more room for female led dramas. Because there’s a whole demographic that want to see it!

“Acting can be a brutal world. But the industry has changed a lot ”

Now we all know you danced on strictly. What an achievement I’m so envious. Did you keep up the dancing or do you dip into it now and again? Also I have to ask, did you bring home a memento from wardrobe at all?

Strictly was an amazing experience and I was so lucky to be able to do it, with an audience and get

to Blackpool. I’m not a natural dancer, so with strictly it was more about being taught routines than being taught ballroom. A bit like learning lines as an actor. People like Caroline Flack where natural movers and she just exploded each time she got onto the dance floor. I wouldn’t know how to do a Viennese waltz or the rumba now. But I had the most amazing dancing partner in… and it was the best time, really hard work but the best time. Sadly you don’t get to keep the incredible costumes.

Instagram - @wholeandthensomeuk Website – wholeandthensome.co.uk Laila Can be seen in Holby City BBc1 from Tues 9thFeb 2021 Book references ‘Fierce self-compassions’ - how women can harness kindness to speak up, claim their power.

By Kristin Neff

quick fire questions…

Texting or calling? text Last song downloaded?

Garbage stupid girl – 90’s classic there!

First celeb crush?

Eric Roberts Do you believe in fate?

Yeah I think so.

Tea or coffee?

Tea What was the late thing you ate?

Protein ball Spice girls or All saints?

Spice How long does it take you to get ready?

5mins Morning person or night owl?

Night owl Childhood nickname?

Didn’t have one Place you’d like to travel to after lockdown?

Morocco

In Holby City

February 2021 / issue 04

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Loving yourself After A Serious Illness

LOVE YOUR SKIN, REDEFINE HOW IT AGES

By: chrissie bray

BREAKTHROUGH INNOVATION to help rejuvenate, restore and rebalance skin affected by menopause

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Emepelle®, featuring MEP Technology®, helps target accelerated collagen loss and skin ageing caused by menopause.

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I

t can be hard to love your body in your forties and even more so when you’ve encountered a serious illness or disability. In this issue we asked our body confidence advocate Chrissie Bray some questions about her experience with breast cancer and how it affected her body confidence. Chrissie also gave us some advice for those struggling with body confidence after a serious illness.

How has your body changed since your breast cancer diagnosis?

My body has changed a lot due to extensive surgery and invasive chemotherapy treatments. I’ve had a breast removed and currently have a temporary reconstruction in. I’ve also had a nipple removed on my affected breast and I have extensive scarring on my breast and armpit. I’ve also reduced mobility in my arm on the side that was affected by cancer. I can also

feel confidence from within. I try to maintain my body confidence by focusing on good habits that make me feel better like a good skin care routine, good sleep hygiene, regular exercise and a good diet. I also rely on things I know will give me an instant body confidence boost like a good hairdo and favourite red lipstick!

“I was extremely distraught about being diagnosed and disappointed that my body had let me down” suffer from fatigue as a long term side effect of the chemotherapy.

Despite these changes I’m still able to maintain a good level of fitness and I train a minimum of 3 times a week and aim to do a 30 daily minute walk. The physical changes to my body have not held me back and 2 years after my diagnosis I competed in an amateur body building transformation competition where I took first place. I don’t want cancer too define or limit my options and decisions and competing in a

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bikini transformation despite my extensive surgery showed that there are no limits to opportunities and dreams.

Have these changes led to a different relationship with loving your body?

Initially I was extremely distraught about being diagnosed and disappointed that my body had let me down.

I disliked the limits I thought my body had put on me and I felt disfigured. I had counselling

in order to help me gain body acceptance and once I had gained body acceptance I realised I had a lot to be grateful for. I also changed the focus on trying to look good to trying to feel good and feeling good inside led me to overcoming a lot of body confidence angst.

Nowadays I look after my body with exercise, good hydration, good nutrition and I’ve seen huge benefits with improved mood, sleep and I’m the fittest physically I’ve been in years.

Despite having the odd moment of self pity and feeling betrayed by my own genetics the whole experience has taught me a lot about self love and how to do it effortlessly.

“My top advice is to own your illness. ” How do you maintain a positive body confidence attitude?

I’ve had to appreciate and learn how my new body works. I refuse to let breast cancer define me and despite having a mastectomy and reconstruction I’ve gone on to model for international fashion brands Lounge Underwear, Stella McCartney and also Gymshark.

I’m also more body confident now as I’ve worked consistently in the gym to build up my strength and I

What advice would you give to someone who is struggling with body confidence who has a serious illness or disability?

My top advice is to own your illness. Whilst having active treatment for breast cancer I entered a couples photoshoot competition despite not being part of a couple and at the time I also only had one breast and I was bald due to chemotherapy side effects. I didn’t see any of these facts as reasons not to enter the competition! I won the photoshoot opportunity and I went along in my sassiest underwear, my best wig, highest heels and bad girl attitude! I had the best time and got twice the photos! Do things for you! Self care is hugely important in helping you to feel and be more body confident. Take small steps like having a gorgeous bubble bath, listening to your favourite music or even getting dolled up for the fun of it! Lastly be kind to yourself!

Self kindness won’t necessarily stop your thoughts or feelings from being difficult, but it might provide some small comfort in the midst of them. w February 2021 / issue 04

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Self love&

lingerie By: Rachel Peru

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hen I got divorced at 40, I made a point of treating myself to lovely lingerie sets and it always gave me a real boost of confidence and is something I’ve continued to do. I’m sure my mother will now be pleased to know her daughter always wears matching underwear just in case she gets hit by a bus!

I recently caught up with Natalie Mosley, the founder of Lucy May Lingerie, based in Sheffield, to find out why she’s so passionate about encouraging women to invest in their lingerie and helping women see the beauty in their bodies just as they are.

Natalie created the Lucy May

lingerie brand three years ago aged 46 after 29 years working in the fashion and lingerie business that saw her working across the world and for many leading brands. Her love for the female form is very obvious from talking with her and she told me it’s something she gained from an early age with life drawing becoming her main hobby as a young girl. During her Fashion and Marketing degree Natalie was lucky to find herself working with a forward-thinking company in Holland that catered for larger ladies with curves, “It exposed me to all different shapes, and I found the beauty in that”.

This experience as a young student clearly set the seed for the rest of her career.

‘Lingerie is the closest thing

“If you wear a fantastic bra not only does your body feel great, but the clothes you put on will look even better”

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w “it’s not about who else sees it but how it makes you feel”

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w Please visit www.instagram.com/rachelperu1 to see these beautiful photos

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Lingerie Lucy May Lingerie Photographer Helen Booth Masque Photography HMUA Sonia Schofield Styling & Accessories Natalia Willmott

that we put on our bodies and it should sculpt it and help bring everything back in alignment. A bra should look like it’s tattooed on. If you wear a fantastic bra not only does your body feel great, but the clothes you put on will look even better” With this in mind why do so many women still wear the wrong bra size and put up with ill-fitting straps and shapes? It seems to me that there’s still a stigma attached to buying lingerie. Natalie agrees saying that there’s still two types of lingerie labels that we need to break down and find the middle ground. A) Sexy bedroom lingerie with women saying they’re not interested in that or B) The twopack pair of basics. Perhaps it’s women’s body confidence that is at the heart of it, especially for women over 40? For decades we’ve been told how to behave by society once we hit forty and that is invariably not to show your sensuality or ooze confidence. I felt sad when Natalie told me lots of her clients prefer not to look in the mirror at themselves when have fittings and it’s only when Natalie has guided them into the right sizes and shapes that they begin to feel better about themselves and want to take look.

The sensual Lucy May range is like going back in time and experiencing that real personal shopping experience that we are all craving for again. You are buying from someone who has years of experience behind her, the

w www.lucymaylingerie.com

“I don’t design lingerie to be sexy, I design it to be a beautiful fit” passion for women’s bodies and knows every inch of the product you’re trying on. I’ve no doubt that after spending time getting fitted properly with Natalie that those who had lost their confidence in the bedroom might be surprised how quickly it returns.

‘I don’t design lingerie to be sexy, I design it to be a beautiful fit. When you wear the

right lingerie, you radiate, and you give off a whole new vibe.”

I can’t think of a better way to show your body some love and gain body confidence by treating yourself to some lovely lingerie and it’s not about who else sees it but how it makes you feel! w https://www.lucymaylingerie.com @rachelperu1 February 2021 / issue 04

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Editor Zee speaks to one of the talents & brains behind the beautifiul costumes on netflix drama Bridgerton, costume maker Stephen Williams.

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Photo:Netflix

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e all wish we could do a job that was also our passion, and go to work loving what we do. Well, costume maker Stephen Williams does just that, every day.

His skill and eye for detail has seen Stephen work on some of the most incredible productions in fashion, theatre and film. His latest work can be seen everywhere at the moment on NETFLIX. Yes that’s right, Stephen is part of an amazing team of costume makers and designers who have been working tirelessly over the last year to bring you the epic progamme that is BRIDGERTON in all its finery.

For those that don’t know, (I’m not sure there are many) Bridgerton is a period drama based on Julia Quinn’s novels. It’s set in the competitive world of Regency London during the season, when debutantes are presented at court.

It has everything drama, Fashion, romance and a bit of sauce! Likened to the American

series Gossip girl, it’s narrated by the mysterious Lady Whistledown, who writes regular newsletters full of tittle-tattle about the dating exploits of high society. Everyone reads her well-informed tales with fascination - but nobody knows

Daphne’s wedding gown

“FIND A JOB YOU LOVE AND YOU WILL NEVER HAVE TO WORK A DAY IN YOUR LIFE” -Confucius couture pieces for Thierry Muglar, Christian Lacroix and Christian Dior. This definitely put me on the path to womenswear, and I learnt so much working with him. Once you start to build a reputation, and meet more people in the industry, you find yourself doing all sorts of jobs you never expected! “

Daphne’s portrait dress was made from hand dyed silk velvet

“I think Bridgerton came at just the right time”

Photo:Netflix

Beautiful Bridgerton

who she is.

The stand out elements are the two main characters, Daphne Bridgerton and Simon Basset and their love affair and of course, the costumes and settings. I was so excited to speak to Stephen about his work because it’s a dream job of mine to be involved in wardrobe for these kinds of productions …

“My educational journey started in somerset, where I did a national diploma in art and design, specialising in fashion. I then got a place at the Harrow School of Fashion (this changed to the University of Westminster during the first year of my degree). Things weren’t easy to start with workwise, and after specialising in menswear design, I realised my passion was for womenswear, and I enjoyed the practical side of things more that sketching and designing. My first big break was a chance meeting in the 1997 with Mr Pearl, the incredibly talented corset maker and beading designer. It was at his studio in Islington where I was lucky enough to work on haute

Close up detail of Daphne’s gown

Stephen Welcome to FAB MAG UK and thank you so much for giving up your time

to talk to us today. Huge congratulation on Bridgerton it’s just a feast for the eyes.

How does it feel seeing your work on the NETFLIX smash knowing it’s such a huge hit?

Thank you for asking! It’s been a really exciting production to be a part of. You can ever really predict how these things will be received, but I think Bridgerton came at just the right time. It’s been such a sad and difficult time for us all; so having something beautiful and escapist to immerse yourself in has really captured people’s imagination. Its really rewarding to see something you’ve worked on get such positive comments.

Looking at how intricate and authentic the costumes are, 4 February 2021 / issue 04

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did you spend a lot of time researching the period and did you use authentic material or source modern fabrics?

Bridgerton is a period fantasy, rather than a period drama. The design and shapes of the costume are true to the period, but the colour palette and the fabrics are modern. The shows costume designer Ellen Mirojnick, created a whole fantasy world with the look of the costumes, and I definitely think this is what’s captured people’s imaginations.

Were there any wardrobe malfunctions on set?

How do the women get on with the regency corsets and petticoats?

Our team was based in a glamourous warehouse in Berkshire, so we were rarely on set to see any malfunctions! I was reunited with Mr Pearl on this job, and he made most of the principle character’s corsets. They really take some getting used to, and everything feels different about the way you move when you wear one. But that was one period detail that was vital to achieve the right silhouette for the costumes. I made a custom corset for the wonderful Caroline Quentin on the show, but she took it completely in her stride.

How long is it from start to finish per costume? It must be a long process? I don’t think we realise when we are watching just how much 24

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an iconic designer, and I feel super lucky to have been involved in that crazy world.

I don’t really get starstruck these days; you’re all just there to do you respective jobs, and you’re usually too busy to get nervous!

Close up detail of Daphne’s wedding gown

Now, I know even in your spare time you can’t stay away from creating it just who you are. I’m absolutely in love with your @ planetfantastic1973 instagram page how did that come about?

Hahaha, well my Instagram page is really all about my hobby, and was created during lockdown. I’ve

always loved dolls and toys, and in fact I used to make clothes for my sisters dolls when I was a kid…. it’s what got me into fashion! I had a job designing a fashion doll line years ago, and it ignited that passion for something fun and different to what I do in my day job. Although it has also generated some commissions too, which is great. I love working out how to get all the details into something so tiny, and I enjoy sharing the processes. I’ve had some lovely feedback, and people seem to get real joy from seeing my dolls take shape, so I hope its something that will grow, and I have so many ideas for dolls I want to make! w

tiny ruff collar Stephen is curently working on

work goes into it all. And how many different outfits each character has. How long is a working day for you?

The wedding gown took around six weeks in total, and went through various design changes as I was working on it. That also has to factor in ideally three fittings with the actor to allow for adjustments.

Daphne had around 120 pieces made just for her character, and was in a different look in every scene. Daphne was definitely the big fashion statement of the show,

and had a team of eight people just working on her looks. Our working day is 8am-6pm usually. But on other jobs you can sometimes be working through the night to get things finished on time!

Looking back at your career so far, what has been your favourite job/production.

Have you ever been starstruck?

It’s hard to pick a favourite job, but I do often think back to the things I worked on for Muglar, he’s such

Stephen at work

Blythe doll customised by Stephen

Follow Stephen on instagram @ planetfantastic1973 February 2021 / issue 04

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self indulgent Photos:burst.shopify.com

By: Chalita Frost

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“Self love comes in all manner of ways and it doesn’t just mean standing in front of the mirror saying “I love you”

lack of self worth, lack of self confidence, low self esteem, bouts of anxiety and even depression.

Begin to change the way in which you speak to yourself by focussing upon one part of you that you like and slowly add to the list of positives, building up daily/weekly.

Embrace your differences, stop comparing yourself to others and celebrate your body in any way you can.

Letting go of trauma and forgiving yourself more are also ways in which to practise self love. Start each day with a positive thought and end each day expressing gratitude and giving thanks for whatever made you smile. I believe that this should be taught from a very early age and incorporated into our daily routines without exception.

There’s a reason why self love, self worth, self belief, self esteem, self confidence all begin with the word self - because you cannot find them in anyone else.

How you love yourself is how you teach others to love you.

So, take a deep breath, give yourself a little hug and start practising self love today. After all - you’re amazing w

“A constant stream of negativity in our own minds can lead to a lack of self worth, lack of self confidence, low self esteem”

Self love is not

ove is in the air for the month of February but how much time do you dedicate to loving yourself ? If we give love freely and effortlessly to those we care about, why don’t we view ourselves as a priority when it comes to giving love?

Self love can be defined as the regard for one’s own wellbeing and happiness. So if this is the case, we should insist on making ourselves a priority in the love

movement counts - including daily walks, yoga, even dancing around the kitchen to your favourite songs!

Stillness is equally as important as movement too and should be scheduled into each day to quieten the mind and calm the thoughts.

Give yourself permission to have some space and refrain from glorifying being busy. This can be hugely beneficial to wellbeing because if you don’t make time for you, who will?

The next point to consider in being kinder to ourselves is mind chatter and what we are consistently saying to ourselves within our minds on a daily basis. When I invite my clients to monitor their thoughts for a week, often they are shocked at just how negative and self critical they are. One beautiful lady I was working with confessed to ‘bullying’ herself in her mind every single day. When asked if she would speak to her best friend in such a way, she became emotional, admitted she would never speak to someone she loved the way in which she did to herself and finally began to realise the importance of positive internal dialogue A constant stream of negativity in our own minds can lead to a

stakes, shouldn’t we?

Self love comes in all manner of ways and it doesn’t just mean standing in front of the mirror saying “I love you” repeatedly.

Although this can be helpful at times! It’s how we treat our bodies, what we are consistently saying to ourselves and how much time each day we dedicate to creating space just for us.

Practising self love in my opinion includes eating healthy foods to

nourish our souls, staying hydrated and moving our beautiful bodies in any way that feels good, in order to stay as fit and healthy as possible.

This doesn’t always have to be running or HIIT sessions, as all

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A

decade change can be frightening to some people, and understandably so. It can be intimidating if you don’t have the right mind set. I’m looking forward to this new journey, however, as there are many things I’m excited to accomplish as I enter my 60’s.

New Challenges, New Motivation Repetition is great as it pertains to a workout routine. Healthy routines are a great way accomplish whatever your goals are. Nevertheless, you should not allow repetition and routines to eliminate challenges in your life.

Challenges are what keep you moving forward, exploring new things and growing as a person. It can be difficult to find motivation when you become too comfortable with your routine.

New obstacles are the best way to find stimulation.

I have no special abilities as an athlete. None. What I do excel at, however, is staying motivated through every obstacle, which is the most difficult aspect of fitness and health for some people. This motivation has helped me find my formula for success. Have you found yours?

If you’re struggling with finding that necessary drive, I’d love to work with you! Let’s get you moving!

I’ve Found my “Why” Your “why” rests in your core.

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My Next Decade; a time to reinvent By: Gail Genster

It’s the reason you’re doing what you’re doing. I’ve had many different “why’s” throughout my life, both personally and professionally, but my current one as a pro-aging fitness enthusiast is something I’m particularly passionate about.

It’s sad, but it’s true. People of a certain age, specifically women, are encouraged by society to dress and act a certain way. It seems like the older you get, the less you are allowed to do, regardless of your personal inclinations. Well, guess what? It is absurd that this type of thinking still exists in today’s supposed era of inclusivity.

My “why” as I enter my 60’s is to inspire women in my age demographic to dress, act, and feel, and exercise the way they want.

I’ve never compromised based on what other people think, why should you? Age is just a number after all, and it shouldn’t define how you carry yourself.

This is what I am aiming to instill in others.

“People of a certain age, specifically women, are encouraged by society to dress and act a certain way” Nicole Shelley Models I’ve recently signed with the Nicole Shelley modelling agency, pioneering her 45+ category of models. I hope to use this opportunity to inspire women 45 and beyond who are aligned with the mind set that age should never

determine who we are. Nicole and I are embarking on a project to invite women to live the modelling experience, be it to have amazing photos for personal reasons, professional reasons, or to simply live the dream of being a model.

This project will additionally serve as a conduit for my vision of expanding people’s and brand’s scope of inclusivity.

This year will be the year I fully embrace my “why,” all in an effort to help women realize that they can be successful and realize their dreams no matter how old they are. That is our goal at Nicole Shelley, and that is the type of “why” that will always keep me motivated. w February 2021 / issue 04

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I

60

was abused as a child and all my life I have struggled with feelings of not being worthy of love. To many of my friends that would come as a surprise because they see me as outwardly confident. My insecurities have only been compounded over the years by the way various boyfriends have treated me, or rather by the way I allowed myself to be treated by them. The the icing on the cake was that every single boyfriend, without exception, has gone on to marry the next person they dated after me. So I could not help but wonder why not me?

What was it about me that was lacking that they could not love me unconditionally and want to spend the rest of their lives with me?

This only reaffirmed my belief that I could not be loved the way I wanted to be loved.

It seemed that the problem was that I thought I needed someone else in my life to determine my worth and when I could not settle with someone it only increased my sense of worthlessness. I was always inwardly looking for someone to love me. As a consequence I was so pleased when someone did show me signs of affection I lost myself and became what I felt I needed to

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years to learn to love myself By: sIOBHAN DANIELS

be to stop them leaving me.

I would accept poor behaviour from my partners at the time and stay far longer in unhealthy relationships, that in retrospect, I should not have done.

When I was younger I never imagined that when I was in my late fifties and early sixties I would still be going through heartbreak and searching for love, but that is

where I found myself.

My last relationship broke up over a year ago now, when my then partner said to me over dinner that I was a “slow burner” He explained that he had hoped that he would be able to love me and he thought it might come but that “it had not”. He therefore saw no future in our relationship and wanted to end it and he was

very sorry but as it was nearly Christmas, he did not want me to go. I, on the other hand, decided then and there that I loved myself enough to not put myself through this any more and not allow myself to be hurt and made to feel unworthy, because of his shortcomings, not mine.

I packed my things and left and I have not seen him since.

I was obviously heartbroken at first but a year on I realised that when I am single I feel that I am who I am meant to be. Outgoing, quirky, fun-loving, a loyal friend and adventurer. I actually felt more content on my own, without feelings of anxiety, fear and judgement. That was when I knew how important it was that I had finally learnt to love myself. I realised that I did not need a man to make me feel whole.

I have finally accepted myself wholly for who I am - and I feel that is a great achievement. Often people I thought loved me were actually cruel and heartless to me stopping me loving myself. The chatter in my mind would focus on negative things they had said to me or how they made me feel. I know I am not perfect, I have my shortcomings but I do not want to be berated about my inadequacies.

I am not happy all the time but when I started looking at all the things that I liked about myself; I am friendly, outgoing, humorous and up for adventures. I love to make people feel loved and at ease and I love bringing people

“my period of self discovery over the last year has allowed me to embrace my imperfections as well as my strengths” together. I decided it was time to give myself a break and be kinder on myself.

I don’t know if the saying that ‘you have to learn to love yourself before others can love you’ is true but I know my period of self discovery over the last year has allowed me to embrace my imperfections as well as my strengths, let go of harsh judgments, comparisons to others, and self-hatred.

Coming to terms with my past

relationships and my behaviour in them has led me to a place where I know, if I am lucky enough to meet anyone else, I will not be afraid to communicate who I am and what I want out of life and that I love myself and have a lot of love for another person. That is a very happy place to be in. w Follow my motorhome madness shuvonshuvoff.blogspot.com Instagram;shuvonshuvoff Twitter:siobhandaniels Linkedin:siobhandaniels February 2021 / issue 04

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How Menopause in my teens changed my life By: Hayley ethers

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“I then hated myself and what my body had done to me. I felt like a failure as a woman” told anyone about my premature menopause as I was ashamed of myself. Embarrassed of myself. I lived behind this image of a strong, outgoing, independent, strong woman to hide how I really felt inside about myself. Listening to that back now I feel sad as why did I hate myself for something that was out of my control.

But there really is only so long you can keep up that pretence, before you feel like you are going to break and I wasn’t prepared for my diagnosis to take over my life any longer. So back in September 2020 I decided I couldn’t keep what felt like a big dirty secret inside any longer. I decided to turn to Instagram and be proud of

who I am and love myself for who I really am. Which is sometimes a post menopausal mess haha. I have opened an account in hope to help other ladies diagnosed with POI, or who are perimenopausal, menopausal or post menopausal, as let’s face it I have enough years experience. I keep it real and relatable and hope that is what others will love about me.

I can finally say loving me for me is a good feeling.

They say life begins at 40 and I was 40 at the end of Jan this year, so let’s see what life has in store for me. w

With her mum, hayley had no idea of what her diagnois meant at the time

Photos by:burst.shopify.com

ove... is such a powerful word when you feel it isn’t it?

It took me 26 years to finally say I love myself. But now I love myself for who I am and not who I pretended to be.

This is the background to my story...

Rewind to 1995 when I was 14 years old and diagnosed as postmenopausal. I will never forget that day being told by the consultant.

My mum bawling her eyes out and me telling her it was ok. Thing is it was not ok, but then I had no clue what they were even going on about. Told I only had one ovary which had no eggs in it and that I needed to start HRT. I just took it in my stride and walked out like nothing had even happened. I then continued to live like that for years to come. It was until I was in my mid 20’s and all my friends were becoming pregnant when it hit me. I then hated myself and what my body had done to me. I felt like a failure as a woman. I hardly

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1.Red lips bag £165.00 Lulu Guiness 2. Black and red heart shirt £14.40 Boohoo.com 3. Peace and love pumps £30.00 Office 4.Lovefearlessly converse £72 Converse 5.Black magic plunge bra £44 Briefs £20 Scantilly fortyandbeyondmagazine.com

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GIFT GUIDE

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6. Wednesday’s Girl Pink Heart Long Puffer Coat £38.49 New look 7. Fallen angel briefs £24 Balcony bra £46 Scantilly 8. Loveheart Quay sunnies £40.00 ASOS 9. Comme des Garsons Heart T £72.00 farfetch.com 10. Heart top Shein £5.49 11. Editor Zee’s beautiful wedding nails - inspo for you Valentines nails!

12. Heart print pink vans. £39.99 Vans

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In midlife we rise By: Star Monroe

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hat if I told you everything you know about being a woman is a lie?

Including how you think, eat, move, rest, have sex, your relationship to pleasure and of course self-love.

We live in a patriarchal society and this masculine way of living has weaved its way into how you live your life. It has brainwashed you into believing there is something wrong with you, your body is unacceptable, that you have to take care of everyone else’s needs before your own and that self-care and self-love is frivolous and frothy.

All of this can leave you feeling lost, confused, exhausted and unhappy.

I know you know that looking after yourself is important but you just can’t find the time.

The patriarchy wants you to feel this way. In fact, they have been manipulating the way you think about yourself since the day you 38

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were born. They know when you feel powerless you’ll spend money to try and take away the pain, the discomfort that you are feeling. It’s like a never ending loop.

I’m here to let you know, it’s time to call this brainwashing out so that you can reclaim your power in midlife and live a life that makes you feel alive, sexy and oh so confident.

Oh, and just in case you need a reminder. There is nothing wrong with you. You are not broken, you don’t need to be fixed. Your body is glorious, there IS enough time, your voice matters, you are not too emotional and there is so much to look forward to in midlife and beyond.

If you want to take back control of you, your life in midlife then let’s do things differently.

Put your self-care and self-love at the top of your to-do list.

Say goodbye to all those pesky habits that keep you playing small AND HELLO to creating daily habits that fortify your inner confidence so you can sashay through midlife like a QUEEN! Commit to doing the inner work so you know who you are, where you are going and magnetise the life, relationships, love & intimacy you deeply desire.

Life really is too short to spend hating your body, doubting yourself, criticising your every move, hiding out in your comfort zone, or letting fear run the show.

Life is for living FULL ON and OUT LOUD, leaving a trail

of sparkles and glitter wherever you go.

If you are ready to say YES to yourself in midlife and are ready to amp up your self-care and self-love then come and join The Fabulous Collective.

A secret society which I created exclusively for midlife women on the rise. This is THE place to be, where you can be totally yourself and fully supported through all

your ups and downs. You will learn powerful practices and skills to instil confidence and self-belief and reclaim your power so you can feel utterly fabulous about being you, your body and your life in midlife and beyond.

In midlife, we RISE. w Doors reopen on 21/2/21. Be the first to know by hopping on the waitlist here: www.msstarmonroe.com/tfc February 2021 / issue 04

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Photo:Netflix

find @mygangsterwraps over on instagram!

Taking it back…

My LOVE for the 70’s By: zee battersby

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photo: Estelle Bilson@70housemanchester

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true 70’s decor throughout photo: Estelle Bilson@70housemanchester

was born in the 70’s. 1973 to be exact. I lived in Poole Dorset with my Liverpudlian parents and baby sister until my parents divorced and we moved to Suffolk. We lived in a brand new caul-de-sac that my dad helped build and inside our house was very typically 70’s. We had a large wicker Peacock chair (which I hid my hair under when I gave my self an impromptu fringe once aged 4) my dad had built a stone surround fireplace with a sideboard for the TV no less. We had cream shag pile carpets in my parents room and the wallpaper in the bathroom was brown and orange and it wasn’t until you looked carefully you saw it had naked ladies on it!! Our huge sofa was a kind of brown and mustard paisley pattern and was made with feathers that would stab you without any warning. Everything had a pattern on it. My dad had his own business so we were very comfortable for a time. My mum had dried flowers in the kitchen and corn dollies and she made all of our clothes.

The carpets were brown downstairs and a deep burgundy in the hallway. I ache to go back in time and sit down and take note. We have photos but not

nearly as many as some people my age.

Instagram is awash with houses completely decked out in the era I was brought up in and I can’t get enough of them. A favourite with so many of us is Estelle Bilsons’ incredible house in Manchester (instagram @70shousemanchester) Everything is so authentic and it takes me back to visiting a well off family member who had everything. I have adored Fleetwood mac my whole life and have such an affection for The Good Life and Margo Ledbetter her outfits’ where the best! Of course Abigail’s Party still gets played a lot in our house after I introduced my husband to it a few years ago!!

macrame wall hanging £30 Etsy

If like me, you’d like to inject a bit of the 70’s into your home I’ve sourced some stand out pieces that would sit alongside any modern furniture of today. Enjoy!

Editors

peacockchairs.com £99

*Ill just be over here watching Jamie and the magic torch and singing Champion the wonder horse!!! w Zee xx

3 w

Picks 1 w

1.leopard £145 @ dogwoodlifestyle

Swedish mid century teak sideboard, ulferts mobler style £250 @ g plan vinterior

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Estelle Bilson’s beautiful 70’s dining room

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2.Green sofa Prices start from £270 @ Ercol, Lee Longlands 3.sun cushion £92 @mary benson sustainable fashion

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Love Me Do Clothing’s w

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alentine’s day is significantly designed for the romantics and couples out there as a way of showing their love towards one another with grand gestures and affection.

I have always struggled with the 14th February as I genuinely feel like you should show love everyday without the materialistic purchases and one-off gimmick novelties.

We all have a complex idea of what love should feel like. Have we been in love? Is it real? Do we misrepresent love for lust? Do we say I love you too flippantly? Do we love more than 1 person at a time?

Are we happy being single? Is meeting someone online genuine?

Does it really matter? No! If it makes you feel good, then go with it. I personally think a music playlist means the absolute world to describe your feelings rather than flowers and chocolates.

The lyrics can be relatable, and the songs chosen clearly mean a lot to the person who created it. Who doesn’t love

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Love songs for valentine’s day music right?!

Here are Love Me Do Clothing’s top 10 love songs for the unique Valetines playlist...

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1. Oasis Slide Away Epic in every way and my all time favourite Oasis song!

“Let me be the one that shines with you” If you are an Oasis fan, you are going to most definitely love this song.

2. The Stone Roses Ten Storey Love Song The cutest lyrics in the most incredible song by the Roses.

“Take my hand baby, I’m your man I got loving enough got 2” Comforting power of music with this belter.

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3. Al Green Let’s Stay Together This iconic tune is always a winner as a wedding first dance.

Silky tones and beautiful lyrics just make you want to be in love even if you are single.

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4. Foo Fighters Everlong.

I adore this song! Especially the acoustic version. “If everything could ever be this real forever” Dave Grohl is a legend for creating this stunning song.

5. Labi Siffre Must Be Love Also recorded by Madness, this song is heart warming and gorgeous. The lyrics are simple yet can create a huge impact to some one you love.

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6. The Beatles Here, There & Everywhere Revolver is to me the greatest Beatles album and this is the best love song ever written. I love everything about this song. Gentle and basic tone with amazing lyrics.

I have heard so may versions of this song, but they never can compare to the original.

7. The Cure Friday I’m In Love Of course this is in my top ten love

w songs! The ultimate classic that we all know and sing on a Friday morning driving to work.

8. Gloria Jones Tainted Love There have been many versions of this fantastic song Such as Soft Cell and Marilyn Manson.

Being a huge Northern Soul fan, this version blows me away everytime I hear it.

It is my favourite song to dance to at a soul all nighter.

w 9. Pete Doherty For Lovers Pete Doherty is an outstanding talent and song writer. This song is pure beauty at it’s best. I don’t think it is based on a happy love song however, still amazing and one for the indie fans.

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10. Florence And The Machine You’ve Got The Love Ultimate anthem and makes you want to dance and sing at the top of your voice. I love this version of the song the very most and Florence definitely has some incredible pipes on her.

Seeing this live in her early days is so memorable and makes me emotional now. w February 2021 / issue 04

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Modette model & makeup artist Nicki Donohoe has her very own radio show...

favourite Podcasts this month FABMAGS

Creativity is within all of us. It’s how we express ourselves, through singing, dancing, drawing and many other pursuits. The desire for self-expression is a human need. Creativity provides us with a pathway to self-understanding, happiness, improves our wellbeing and for many, supports building confidence. Keeping connected to ourselves and the child within all of us that should remain free and untamed. I explore the positive impact of creatively through discussion and conversation with people that I promise will inspire you to discover your own connection to your inner creative.

Words:listennotescom

Listen at www.barrelhouseradio.com

The only way Rosie and Chris Ramsey can have a conversation without being interrupted by a toddler or ending up staring at their phones is by doing a podcast.

They’ll be chatting all about life, relationships, arguments, annoyances, parenting, growing up and everything in between.

Each week they will answer questions from the public and a secret celebrity.

Out Of The Bubble hosted by Rachel Peru, where you get to hear from amazing women who are embracing life and leaving a trail of inspiration along the way.

Breaking down the midlife stereo typical barriers and proving it’s never too late to find new passion and purpose. What’s stopping you? www.outofthebubblepodcast.com

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Love Makes the world

“I did have lots of gorgeous treats, but I felt in control!”

go round By: Helen ponder

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ebruary is the month of love, but shouldn’t every month be filled with love?

It’s love that makes the world go round and knowing you are loved is the most wonderful feeling to have – it gives you that little spring in your step and butterflies in your tummy.

Since starting my weight loss journey one of my main aims was to learn to love myself. ‘You can’t love anyone else unless you love yourself first’ for me this statement doesn’t always ring true I have never had an issue with loving anyone or anything else it just comes naturally to me but loving

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always suffer with guilt that I have eaten the too much of the wrong food or drank too much – then I feel like I have failed – this was not the case this time there is no need for me to feel these emotions and this year I just let those feelings go!

I have found a different kind

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“Knowing you are loved is the most wonderful feeling to have” myself this is a totally different ball game! However, I am on mission to learn I don’t think this will easy for me as all I can see mainly is flaws – my tummy looks too big, my cheeks are to puffy, do my boobs look big in this?…..I could go on but maybe I should start to see what everyone tells me they see.

I saw a quote over Christmas

that struck a chord with me and made me think – leading up to the New Year all we hear and see advertised is ‘New Year – New You’ do I want a new version of me? I am 43 and look how far I have come – why would I want to change who I am? I am a wife, a Mum, I have family, such wonderful friends, a beautiful home, and a job I simply love and look how far being me has got me already! The things I say to myself would I say to a friend? A loved one? No! So, why do I say these things to myself……I need to learn to love myself!

My Christmas was wonderful,

and I did have lots of gorgeous treats, but I felt in control! The only marzipan in sight was a present I brought for my Grandma who shares the loves for it just as

much as me!! So, I had what I fancied food wise maybe a bit too much cheese if I am honest and a few too many glasses of wine and for once I did not feel any guilt. I

of love for food – one that does not involve eating unhealthy food and sneaking chocolate out of the fridge when Jamie is not looking.

It’s the love I have found for lots of lovely recipes that I have adapted to a healthier lifestyle – it helps me to relax it’s something to do in lockdown and I am also seeing the results I want – although a small Christmas gain of 4lb – believe me this is nothing one year it was 9lb in 7 days!! But I can soon shift that, and my next milestone will be Easter! I do not just have a certain weight I want to be but to be able to wear a strapless bra so, I can wear a sleeveless top!! This journey has certainly helped me gain some confidence in myself I am just a little bit closer every day to learning to love myself……

I hope you all enjoy the month of love and remember to be kind and be happy being you!

Until next time, stay safe! w Helen xx February 2021 / issue 04

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You have been watching

I

love the 70’s and True crime…Every so often a true crime drama comes along that has us all gripped and bingeing, especially as we are all now in Lockdown No3 Step forward The Serpent. A grisly true crime story on BBC I Player about the abhorrent Charles Sobhraj, played by Tahar Rahim.

A fiendish fraudster and murderer, who preyed on hippie tourists travelling through Asia in the 1970’s. Posing as a Gems dealer he’s engaging, suave, powerful and stylish. But, he’s also a serial killer.

Luring and drugging unsuspecting wide-eyed tourists and robbing them of their money, passports and lives for over a decade.

Jenna Coleman plays Alain’s French girlfriend Marie-Andree Leclerc and from the very beginning you can’t take your eyes off her. Coleman’s character is French Canadian and meets Alain

By: zee battersby

Photo: BBC The Serpants Alain & his French girlfriend Marie-Andree Leclerc, editor zees style muse Our fabulous editor, zee

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“To all the intrepids who set out with big dreams, but never made it home”

whilst travelling in India. She falls in love with him and blinded by either love or infatuation turns a blind eye to his crimes.

(I mean we all like a bad boy but in the infamous words of Goggleboxes’ Stephen Webb, “not 4 a bloody serial killer Chris!!!”)

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The styling of this intense real crime adaptation is stunning and authentic and takes me back to my childhood. My mum was incredibly stylish and tiny and made a lot of her own clothes, and mine, my sisters and our dolls. I remember she made herself a faux fur coat and I got one and so did my doll! I also remember that her and my aunt made rubber clothes for Sex Mags and they would be stuck together and hung out on the washing line to dry!!! Queue my dad and uncle deciding to try them on and gallivant around the house to the horror and amusement of my mum and aunt! (this story tickles me to this day!)

Anyway I digress, whilst the authentic styling is so en pointe and lovely to see, there’s no getting away from the fact that this is a real story involving real families and their trauma and heartbreak at the hands of this evil killer. The closing scenes of this drama ends with a dedication.w The serpent is on BBC iplayer now.

Download it to binge watch the whole series.

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Here at FabMag, we LOVE a natter - so feel free to send us an email, a picture, a funny story; even something you might like to contribute to the magazine, anything!!We are always on the lookout for new contributors, stories and advertisers, so get in touch. Follow us on our social media platforms, or send a message.

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A L LOW YO U R S E L F TO D I S C OV E R THE BEAUTIFYING PROPERTIES O F C R Y S TA L S W I T H O U R C O N S C I O U S LY C U R A T E D C O L L E C T I O N O F TA L I S M A N S

WELCOME TO YOUR MINDFUL BEAUTY RITUAL TA L I S M A L O N D O N . C O M