Inside the Office with Jeri Dyson

Inside the Office with

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INTERVIEW WITH JERI DYSON 2

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What is your day job?

I actually transitioned from being a fulltime clinical medical doctor. I was doing Adolescent Medicine for about 15 years and Pediatrics for 3 years prior to that. In 2014, I transitioned into living my dream job, which is actually helping young girls, and younger women understand the significance of the role they play as it relates to a global presence.

I started a non-profit organization called

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Global Girls Global Women or G3W for short. We recruit girls 16-21 years old and take them on international treks around the world so they see themselves as global citizens. The reason I started doing this, why I just switched completely from medicine and started this nonprofit was because I would see myself in the eyes of the young girls I talked to on my international speaking trips.

They were so intrigued by young African American girls. They would ask questions about what their daily life was like. They would talk to me for hours asking questions. So I said it’s important for me, not to only see the world and expand my own mind but to expose teen girls to other lands and cultures. Anybody who has traveled globally, and I know you have traveled extensively, Lydia, understands the significance of exposure. Our minds cannot shrink back to the small ideas and images we once perceived when we travel to other lands and experience those cultures.

So that’s what I do full-time. I engage in recruiting, training, and helping young girls travel with G3W as a group on international treks. That’s what I’ve been doing for the past two to three years. I’ve

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been building the foundation of the organization.

How are you similar to, or different from something like Jelani Girls?

Jelani Girls is based in New York. G3W recruits girls from DC, Maryland, and northern Virginia to be a part of a year long training prior to global travel. Being a native Washingtonian, and having a program based in this area, we have full access to so many agencies that can train the young ladies before we travel. We train the girls first. All of the international embassies are based in Washington, DC, making it a very global city. If you’re not plugged into that aspect of the metropolitan area, all you know is your community. So there are many girls who are raised in this area, who are born and bred in DC, yet they never actually get to engage other cultures on an intimate level.

That’s one difference between us. I haven’t expanded G3W to a national platform at this time. I really want the girls who are in this metropolitan area to understand the significance of their presence in this world, especially black and brown girls. I’m focused on them because that’s who I am. When I travel, people will always assume, “Oh, so are you Nigerian? Where are you from?”

“I’m American. My roots are West African but I’m American.” So, it’s very interesting. It’s engaging for us as U.S. citizens. It’s also engaging for those in other countries we visit to actually see and interact with young black American kids.

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How many girls have you been able to take so far?

one of my heroes, Betty Dyson, my mom.

Another hero that I had is deceased now, Dr. Stanley Evans. Stanley Lee Evans, PhD was

So far, we haven’t been able to do any travel because of my recent diagnosis. In January 2018 I was diagnosed with bone marrow cancer. The plan was for us to travel in June, but you know, life happens. Life has a way of shifting your plans altogether. Now I realize all things are in perfect timing. Initially my type A personality was thinking, “Oh no, I don’t have time to be sick.” I don’t have time for this

one of my research mentors in medical school.

He gave me an opportunity to do research in pharmacology with him because I needed extra money. He and his wife, also a PhD, were like parents for me when I was away in Nashville.

What’s amazing about Dr. Evans and I is that; even though I had a great relationship with my biological father, and I still do, Dr. Evans kind of stepped in, like a father figure for me.

disease, but it made sense for me to stop, heal and then focus on traveling with the group.

In our relationship, he and his wife were such

Now that I’m healed our next trip will be in

a blessing to me. They showed me not only

2020.

the science of medicine, but also the politics associated with medicine. So I really thank Drs.

Who were your heroes of mentors?

Stanley and Priscilla Evans for the mentorship they gave to me.

It’s funny. When you originally told me that we would be discussing heroes, this question kind of stumped me a little bit because it really caused me to think. So many times I would say, “Oh, you’re my hero.” We kind of throw that word out so loosely.

He was one of the phenomenal mentors that I had in my formative years. Then, as time passed, we had different mentors assigned to us from within our disciplines. There are so many mentors that come to mind. One of them for sure, Dr. Dorothy Brown, was the first

But really, there have been a number of

African American female surgeon in the South.

women and men in my life who’ve been heroes, because the definition of a hero is one who comes in and saves the day, or who saves you from something, some tragedy, or whatever. I really believe that the regular people who are around me are heroes. Like my mom. She’s been one of my heroes throughout all my life.

She’s made so many sacrifices for me to be where I am, to do what I do. So she’s definitely 6

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Dorothy Brown was one of my mentors.

When I say mentor I’m referring to people who actually worked closely with me. These people bring me into their homes, they know the struggles and triumphs in my life. That’s what a mentorship is for me. It’s not a virtual mentorship where you might chat with somebody via email or videoconferencing.

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What is your best childhood memory?

A lot of my best childhood memories are summers, either in DC or in Louisiana. My dad is from a small town called Franklinton, Louisiana. My best childhood memories are being in the country, barefoot, walking on grass. All my family members would say, “You need to get some shoes on your feet!”

I was born a city girl, but in my heart, I love nature. I love the country and sprawling hills. I love greenery and trees. I love gardening, and that is what my grandparents on both sides did. I just loved the time when I was able to be with them, and run in the yard, and just do things that were outside. I didn’t really like the chicken coop, however, because I was scared of I have one on one conversations with my mentors. We break bread together. I know their families and they know my family. That,

the chickens. I would say, “If I have to take the eggs from under that thing, we’re not going to be eating eggs.”

to me, is tutelage. That’s mentorship, the old

But everything else I loved. The gardening and

school way.

the food that my grandfather grew, because

Dr. Dorothy Brown was an extremely intelligent woman. She was the sharpesttongued surgeon that I ever met in my life. We were paired because initially I wanted to do cardiac surgery.

he had a gigantic garden. I think that’s what started my love for vegetables and fruit. I also like being outdoors. Any childhood memory where I’m outdoors, with no shoes on, in the grass, getting wet, or doing whatever, is my best memory.

When I met with her, and I heard about her lifestyle, and her social life outside of medicine,

What traits did you possess as a child

it made me reconsider surgery. She was

that resemble traits of a leader? Do you

very honest about her struggle in the male

have a funny story?

dominated field. She was a good person and a great mentor.

A lot of my best childhood memories are summers, either in DC or in Louisiana. My

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dad is from a small town called Franklinton, Louisiana. My best childhood memories are being in the country, barefoot, walking on grass. All my family members would say, “You need to get some shoes on your feet!”

I was born a city girl, but in my heart, I love nature. I love the country and sprawling hills. I love greenery and trees. I love gardening, and that is what my grandparents on both sides did. I just loved the time when I was able to be with them, and run in the yard, and just do things that were outside. I didn’t really like the chicken coop, however, because I was scared of the chickens. I would say, “If I have to take the eggs from under that thing, we’re not going to be eating eggs.”

But everything else I loved. The gardening and the food that my grandfather grew, because he had a gigantic garden. I think that’s what started my love for vegetables and fruit. I also like being outdoors. Any childhood memory where I’m outdoors, with no shoes on, in the grass, getting wet, or doing whatever, is my best memory.

What traits did you possess as a child that resembles traits of a leader? Do you have a funny story?

Well, one of my childhood traits that lends itself to leadership is independence. You know, I’m an only child – my mom and dad’s only biological child. As an only child, you grow up around either adults or people who are a little older than you. Those are the people who I C - SUITE PICS® MAGAZINE - INSIDE THE OFIFCE

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grew up around. So, I was very independent.

breathing. I remember going to the hospital for

That was one trait.

an asthma attack when I was eight. My eight-

Another trait my family would always say is, “She’s been here before.” “She is an old lady trapped in a little girl’s body,” because I was so precocious, not in a negative way, but I was really precocious. I was like a grown woman in a little kid’s body.

year-old mind thought it was the doctors who were making me feel better. I was like, “The person in that white coat made me feel better, not the medicine. I want to do what those people in the white coats are doing, so I can make people feel better and healthier about their lives. I want to heal them and cure them.”

I was always very matter-of-fact about what I

At that moment I made a decision to become a

was saying, whether I knew what I was talking

physician.

about or not. When you’re six, seven, or eight, you don’t really know what you’re talking about. But I was always very matter-of-fact.

I’m very direct when I give instructions, or when I ask people to do things. It sounds like bossiness, and I have learned to work on that over the years, with the tone, the positioning of the words, and how you arrange the phrase.

My matter-of-factness and direct communication are traits you would find in a leader. I’ve had those traits since childhood. I was a born leader. I needed to be groomed into being a good leader, but I’m definitely a leader.

That’s one thing about me that I think people will say..

When did you decide that you would

That was my idealistic, eight-year-old mind of medicine. “I can go in here, and I can wave a wand, and heal all these people. It’s going to be kumbaya. Everybody’s just going to be healed, healthy and whole. It’s going to be wonderful.”

That was when I was eight.

Then, I kept going on through my education, college, medical school, residency, and decided to do a subspecialty in adolescent medicine.

That’s where I focused solely on teenagers and young adults, because I knew that was the population that I wanted to work with, teens.

Most people don’t want to work with teens. I find them very intriguing and engaging, and spontaneous.

Being around young people really gives me life,

be a doctor? That this would be your

so I loved that aspect of medicine. One concern

journey?

that came up for me after 13 years of practicing in my subspecialty is that the field of medicine

I decided at an early age. I was a child who

thrives off of people being ill.

suffered from asthma when I was much younger, growing up in DC. So I would often have shortness of breath, or difficulty 10

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Some physicians are writing scripts for people who really don’t need a prescription for the

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most part. After you’ve done a complete workup in most cases, and found no organic cause for their complaint, it may be secondary to psychological stressors. I noticed a lot of emotional stressors with my patients.

I also noticed, as much as I was there to help patients move through their dis-eases in a safe way, I had never, as a healer, had a means to release that energy I helped them move through.

Before I say that, let me say this. Any social worker who is providing patient care in any sphere is urged to see a social worker themselves. In medicine every practicing physician should be required to see someone who takes care of their physical and mental health. In my case, I was experiencing trauma with my patients.

Some of them had been raped, abused, violated, put out of their homes or given incurable diagnoses. I was taking on their traumatic energy, so to speak.

After 15 years of seeing high-risk patients, I began to feel worn down. It was difficult for me to stay energized. I was drained on so many levels, after so many traumas.

Whatever office I worked in, I was always assigned what the medical community calls high-risk adolescents. Those are the kids who may be the runaways, or the transgenders, or the sexual minorities, or African American, Latino, disenfranchised

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children.

I loved it at the beginning of my career. After hearing so many traumatic stories, if you’re not able, as a provider, as a healer, to release that energy, it eventually has a negative effect on your physical body. So after many years of practicing, I decided that I was going to choose me first. That was the first time I had made that decision in my life! When I received my doctorate in medicine I took the Geneva Oath, but most doctors make a self-sacrificing oath

My job was to find out what the root cause of your problem was, and I realized the way medical care was being conducted, you really didn’t have time to fully engage with the patient. So by the time they’re ready to open up, you had to shut it down and go to the next person. So it didn’t sit well with me after a while and I said, “I only have so many years of my life to give to somebody else, and I think I’ve given as much as I can at this time. I want to do life in a better way.”

to uphold the health of other people at their

So I just revamped everything and said, “I’m

own expense.

going to do things to promote adolescent

I thought, “There is so much cognitive dissonance here.” For me to tell people to exercise, to sleep eight hours, and I’m not sleeping eight hours, or eating right because I didn’t have the time based on my clinical obligations. I can’t speak for anybody else, but it was a lot on me, and some of the physicians

health from a non-clinical perspective.” Help young girls figure out they don’t have to sacrifice themselves for their friends. Then, as they get older, it’s the husband. Then, as they get older, it’s the children. Then, by the time they’re 45, they are tired of sacrificing and say, “Forget this! I’m doing me.” Then the family

that I’ve spoken with. There is a lot of stress on physicians and many of us aren’t given the space to talk about it.

I said, “For once in my life, I’m going to make a decision in my best interest and step out of medicine because this is not why I came here. I did not go into medicine to talk to a patient for ten minutes, then take 45 minutes to write up a patient note on what we talked about. I didn’t come here to hear about your headaches, and because I’m backed up with patients, just write you a prescription to get you out of my office faster.”

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thinks they have had a nervous breakdown.

It’s that they’ve sacrificed themselves so much, and now they realize, “Hey, I have never done me. I want to be my own self.” So that was the transition I made in 2014 – to come out of clinical medicine, and express my brilliance, my power, and my creativity in a whole new way.

Sounds like you have a book; it could be a research project about all the doctors who stopped doing medicine.

What’s bringing them out of the career?

Retention is an issue, especially for doctors of color, or women. That could be really important to the field.

Right, then when you add on the fact that women in medicine are looked at like they are at the bottom of the totem pole. Then you dig a hole and place the African American female physicians under that totem pole. There are a lot of African American women in medicine who are the go-to persons in their practice and this is what happened with me.

Because the patients love you, you get inundated with an overwhelming patient population, but you’re still required to do additional tasks, outside of seeing patients, and in some cases you may be paid less money than everybody else. In my case it was a combination of things that showed me that I was not being appreciated. I wasn’t the only one in my field. There are thousands of women

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in medicine, complaining about the same thing.

Many of them may feel trapped. They feel locked into medicine because of their financial obligations. Then there’s the ego of your family. If your family, and the loved ones around you have put their status, or their image into the fact that you’re a practicing physician, they may pressure you into staying. You can be locked into that lifestyle for a long time and be miserable.

If you weren’t doing this work, what might your life look like?

Well, when I first pivoted in 2013 I became an author then a speaker. As a speaker, I traveled the world speaking to young people about

forever change the trajectory of your life story,

their life, finding their voice, discovering their

No. I really believe that the culmination of my

passion and going forth with purpose. I thought

decisions, good, bad, ugly, fantastic, happy or

was going to be the main direction my life took.

sad has made me who I am today.

If $10 million just dropped in my lap, and I

I wouldn’t change a thing, because I wouldn’t

could do whatever I want to do, my whole life

have the knowledge that I have now. Even

would be centered around mentoring young

with some of my failures, I wouldn’t change

ladies and helping them travel the world to

it, because sometimes you learn more from

become future global leaders. I would use

a failure than you do from a win. I would tell

about eight months of each year to explore the

myself that more, throughout the process. I

world.

would whisper consistently in my ear, “You’re going to be okay. I don’t care what it looks

If you had it all to do over again, would

like right now, you’re going to be okay.” That’s

you do anything differently?

what I would whisper, but I wouldn’t change anything.

People often ask me that question. I would say given the butterfly effect, that is the idea that one small, minuscule adjustment can

Okay. I may have to come back to that later. One thing that’s always stuck

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with me is, you don’t have to make the

Medicine at a huge University in Florida.

mistake to learn from it. What’s the

Coincidentally, I was also appointed as a leader

toughest lesson you’ve learned, that you

at a big ministry while I was in Florida. In both

hope another woman can learn from

cases, I had leaders who were around me but I

you?

I’m of the mindset that seeks the easiest

really didn’t have the mentorship I needed to be a great leader in that hospital facility or that ministry.

way to learn lessons. I’m very observant

I was a good leader, but I could have been

of friends, and people who are around me,

better. I was so focused on proficiency and

but some lessons you have to learn through

excellent patient care that I failed to focus on

experience. One thing that was previously a

the needs of the people working with me and

very tough lesson to learn is that, sometimes, in

for me. Both places had a revolving door as it

relationships, people change. That’s just human

pertained to their leadership. That should have

nature. When somebody wants to be released

been a clue that people were unhappy and felt

from a relationship, it’s okay to let them go.

unsupported. There were a lot of deficiencies,

Releasing them used to be difficult for me. I

a lot of on-the-job-training and a lot of trial

would do so much to maintain the connection

and error. You can do that when you’re on

only to realize I’m the only one making an effort. I now understand the importance of releasing. Simply let it go. Let it go quickly, so you can make room for something more wonderful to come into your life.

If I feel like it’s taking a lot of energy to keep us connected, and you’re not working with me, I’m releasing you. If we meet up down the road, cool. But I’m not suturing myself to somebody else to make it work.

So, reflect on your first major challenge in a leadership role. What resources did you have, or need and not have, to overcome it?

My first major leadership role was as an Assistant Professor of Adolescent 16

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your own, but not when you have a group of people who are following behind you – it’s unacceptable.

Now, 13 years later, I understand the significance of caring for the people that are working for and with you. That wasn’t modeled for me nor was it important to those in leadership at the time.

There’s a lot of research demonstrating the value of diversity in leadership.

Tell me about your experience as a female leader in your industry, and what diversity has looked like in your work.

Well, in medicine, I think diversity is more commonplace. Medicine has always had a global mindset. We study internationally.

We engage people and they come over from different countries to practice and teach medicine. What I’ve also noticed is because diversity is a catch-phrase, it’s something that people like to write in grant applications and proposals. We like to write it in our business models. “This is our plan. We’re going to include diversity.”

diversity and inclusion.

Because we automatically say, “Oh, we’ve got a woman in here. She’s going to take care of us.”

Not necessarily. There is a cultural, systemic mindset that has to change. At a previous job, our department chief told me he was in negotiations to have more cross-coverage, and have some of our physicians go to other clinics

They like to say that, but when it comes to

to fill in for the shortage. I said, “I never heard

the decision-making, I’ve noticed that it is

about this meeting.”

predominantly white males in those rooms.

You may have one woman, and just because there’s a woman in that room, doesn’t mean that she is for the advancement of other women. That’s the concern that I have experienced in medicine when it comes to

Mind you, there were three men, two were full-time and one was part-time. When I say part-time, he only worked on Fridays but was considered full-time. This new chief had been on the job less than three months. I said to him, “I didn’t know we were having a meeting

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about cross-coverage and renegotiating clinics.” He said, “Oh no. You’re not involved in that. You’re just the worker bee. You just go back and forth where I tell you.” Two months later, I had resigned from that position.

I had a male friend who was a great leader in global medicine. He said to me, “You’ve got to be at the table to have a conversation.” I said, “Just because they give you a seat at the table, doesn’t mean they have to listen. Some people are positioned there simply to fill the seat.” So that has been the experience, not just for me, but for other women who are in administrative leadership positions in medicine.

I remember another example of being dismissed in what they considered to be a diverse environment. I had made a comment at a meeting, and those in power dismissed it. There was an older white gentleman, who commented after me. He said, “You know what? I think Jeri has the right solution.” He then repeated what I said verbatim on purpose.

Then the same people who dismissed that exact idea said, “Yeah. We can consider that.

That’s a good idea.” He looked at me and shook his head.

This happens on a daily basis in every industry.

I’m gradually seeing things change for the better, though. The system can only change when the mindsets of the people change.

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Top businesses have a board of directors to help govern their business effectively.

Who’s on your personal board of directors?

My personal board is actually in transition as we speak. It’s funny. When I saw this question, I said, “Oh my God.” That’s a question my younger cousin would ask me, “Who’s on your board of directors?” I think with my recent diagnosis, I’m restructuring my board. My life in 2017 was filled with so much trauma. I experienced hit, after hit, after hit in 2017 – financially, physically, and emotionally.

Our family had experienced back to back deaths to the point I said, “I don’t want to go to another funeral. I’m good. I don’t want to do this anymore. This is taking a lot out of me.” In 2018, I decided to absolve my board of directors. The people I initially had on my board had not been as responsive in fulfilling their commitment as they stated that they would be. New direction calls for a new board of directors.

What keeps you up at night?

Oh, I think because I’ve had such deprivation of sleep throughout my career, that nothing really keeps me up at night. I notice that when I start trying to make things happen, that’s when

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I lose sleep, because I know I’m outside of my

so I enjoy being outdoors. Nature walks are

element. That’s something that I wasn’t created

very good for me. I love anything that’s going

or designed to do. Once I get back in my place

to bring sunshine to my skin, hearing the birds

of ease, and allow the world to turn, allow the

chirp, watching the squirrels fight over acorns. I

rain to come, not try to control the storm, not

like that kind of stuff.

try to control the deer that come in our yard to eat all of the fresh flowers that we planted, things begin to flow.

What is your favorite book of any genre.

And then, what are you reading right now?

When I realize that some stuff is out of my control, and just be with it, that’s when I get back to my sleep.

What do you do for you that brings you absolute joy, or peace?

Well because I’m an only child, I love my moments of solitude, anything that I can do

Choosing a book is always hard for me.

Choosing books is always hard for me because I love so many books, and there are so many varieties of books. It’s kind of hard for me to pick a book. It really is. I just can’t do it. I do like nonfiction books.

Can you give me some of your favorites.

that will create solitude. I am a person that loves to be around other people, but after so

Okay. I like most of the things that Brené

many hours, I’m thinking, “Whoa. There’s too

Brown has written. I really like Gifts of

much stimulation. I can’t take it.” I have to have

Imperfection and Daring Greatly. Don Ruiz has

hours of solitude even if I am with close friends

a book called The Four Agreements. I think we

& family.

were all in residency when we read it.

When we’re all together, and there’s a lot

Chimamanda Adichie has a book called

going on, sometimes I need a quiet space to

Americana. That’s nonfiction. I like her writing. I

myself. They all understand. Even the kids.

just like her. I like her, period. As a human being,

They understand who I am, and how I function.

I like the way she thinks. I like her freedom. I

Nobody gets offended.

like her ability to put words to ideas, to have

I find peace in quiet time. Sometimes I’ll get a hotel room, or check into a luxurious spa to re-center. I love nature walks. I like walking in

other people think outside of their box. I like her as an author. Who else? There are so many authors.

the park. I always feel protected wherever I am,

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Oh, there was a book that I read that I found really helped me in my own personal life, and it also helped me in dealing with the women who were around me. Not just my patients, but the African American women who were around me. It didn’t really get much publicity. It’s called Whatever Happened to Daddy’s Little Girl?

The Impact of Fatherlessness on Black Women by Jonetta Rose Barras.

This book had an impact on me because I could actually see the personas of the women who are around me; even in medicine. I think I was in Detroit during my pediatrics residency when this book came to my attention. She talks about different things that black women do to compensate for fatherlessness. Things they don’t even know they are doing. They may become the Superwoman, “I have to fix everything and everybody around me.”

Then, you have the woman who is that Type A personality with business acumen, and all powerful on her job. But then when you connect with her on a private, one-onone basis, and you really start to delve into her psyche, you see she’s breaking down emotionally.

This book illuminated it for me. It was a pivotal book that didn’t get a lot of attention but it answered a lot of questions that I had about why we respond the way we do to things.

Right now, because I am trying to get in a place

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of healing, I’m reading everything that relates to nutrition, wellness, meditation and healing.

So no books stand out right now. I’m in a “heal everything” kind of mode. I’m doing a lot of reading on the mind, body, and spirit.

to take 10 minutes and get quiet.

Be selfish. I really want to encourage women to be selfish for at least 10 minutes. No, I’m not trying to solve my child’s problem. I’m not trying to solve my husband’s problem. I’m not

Is there anything that you’ve learned

trying to figure out how we’re going to make

recently that, you know, is just good

this international merger work. I’m trying to

advice for everybody?

figure out what is it that I can do to maximize my happiness, my joy, my peace. That’s it.

Yep. I have learned recently that it is important

So, tell me, what’s happening with you?

to have some slow-down time in your life, because your audience is definitely women.

They’re women who are very powerful. I mean women who are making moves for big companies, and doing billion-dollar mergers.

In our quest to save the world, make financial gains, and find the love of our lives, sometimes we don’t get still enough to really hear our bodies talking to us.

In retrospect, I know that my body has been talking to me for a while, but I just ignored it.

I really want to encourage women to find the time and the space, if it’s not but 10 minutes everyday in the bathtub, or in the shower, to get quiet.

Take that time, that alone time, to uncover, “What is it that I truly want to do? What is it that I need to release, and allow to come out of my life, or fall away from me? What is it that I am not fully tapping into? And what do I need to do to tap into that?” Now, you don’t have to ask yourself those questions every single time, but I really want the focus of your readers to be

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Okay. I’ll give you a brief synopsis. At the turn of 2017, two days before 2018, I experienced a spontaneous fracture in my spine. I had not fallen. I hadn’t lifted anything. It just was a spontaneous fracture. I went into the emergency room, and was not listened to, as a physician who had been practicing for 20-plus years. I wasn’t listened to.

I was told that I had a muscle spasm when I was unable to sit, or stand, or bend, or lift, or do anything. After that, I went to a girlfriend who is practicing. She’s a chiropractor, actually, and she was doing some manipulations, and before she completed her treatment, I said, “We’ve got to get some studies.”

This was two weeks later. Because I was still in pain. I’m saying, “This isn’t normal. I’m having numbness and tingling. I’m walking crazy.”

I had this crazy limp that I had experienced since August, the previous August, August of 2017. But in my mind, I had attributed that to the fact that I had started working out more. I A Division of Eyemagination Imaging

was running and walking every day for at least three to five miles.

So I just assumed, “Oh, maybe I need to stretch more. That’s where this limp is coming from.

That’s where this hip pain is coming from.” But then, I broke my back, literally, broke my L-3 vertebrae in my lower back. When that broke ... I didn’t know it was broken. I just knew in my body, something was not right.

I went to my girlfriend and I said, “We cannot do any more adjustments, no more manipulations until I get an MRI.” So she ordered an MRI stat, and once she got the MRI results, she told me to come in the next day. She was trying to stay calm. I didn’t know, because I just didn’t know. I couldn’t hear anything in her voice but her facial expression was a little off.

So from December 31st (2017) to January 18th, I was dealing with the pain. But on January 18th, she told me that I had some masses throughout my spinal column, and invasion in both hips. They had infiltrated everything.

The chiropractor and the radiologist both said, “Those are metastasis.” I’m thinking, “The only thing that metastasizes to bone is cancer.” A metastasis is a secondary malignant growth that invades your bones from it’s primary site. People who experience breast cancer may have metastasis at end stages of the disease. Men who have prostate cancer may experience metastasis.

So my mind automatically went, “What the C - SUITE PICS® MAGAZINE - INSIDE THE OFFICE

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blah blah. Don’t mention this to anybody but your mom and dad.”

I’m thinking, “What? That is the WORST freaking advice that anybody could give anybody,” so I said to her, “No. Don’t tell anybody that. We cannot suffer in isolation. I have a strong group of women who can walk with me through this!” I want your readers to know that that is the main message. You have the POWER to dictate your own journey. Just because a doctor tells you something doesn’t make it law. I don’t care who it is. Do not suffer in silence. I spoke to her, right then and there, said, “I understand what you’re saying. When you get something like this, you determine what you’re going to do for your life. But for me, and my house, I’m still governing here, and I’m going to share with who I need to share it with, so I can live.” No, no. You can’t shame me into silence and that’s what her comment felt like. Whether that was her intention or not, shame was my perception of her statement. heck?” I go to the doctor every year. We do tests. I’m healthy. I don’t smoke. I just started drinking two years ago, and that’s a social drink because half of a cocktail will put me to sleep.

So I’m not really like your main girl drinker, right?

who is an orthopedic surgeon, which is the importance of sharing your traumas with those who can help you. From that phone call she plugged me in to orthopedic oncology, which is cancer of the bone. I had an appointment four days later with the chief of orthopedic surgery

So I’m thinking, “Okay. This can’t be

and the chief of interventional radiology. I

metastasis!” That same chiropractor said to

mean, everything was a miracle, the timing of

me, “Don’t mention this to anybody except your

everything.

mom and dad. I want you to not involve anyone.

It’s a cancer, but you can heal your body, blah

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Long story short, I called another girlfriend

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This was my turn to walk all the stuff that I had encouraged everybody else through.

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Oh, that’s what this is?

I waited for that joker to knock on my door January 18th, 2018, at 5:00 p.m. “Hey, I want

Right. Upon further testing, I found out that it

to be your friend for the next couple of months

was actually a bone marrow cancer. It wasn’t

and you and I are going to walk together and

metastasis, which is what I was originally told.

experience some things.” So that starts my

It was a bone marrow cancer called multiple

treatment. That starts my navigation of being

myeloma. Now, the thing about multiple

a doctor and learning how to be a patient,

myeloma is that, it predominantly affects men,

while still learning how to voice my opinion,

African American, usually in their 70s. So here

strong enough to let them know, “I’m not

I am, young, female, previously healthy, and I

scared enough for you to just throw stuff at me

get a diagnosis of multiple myeloma.

and I’m going to take it. We’re going to have a meaningful dialogue, and you’re going to prove

But what makes it even more ironic is that

to me that this is what I need to do.”

I don’t remember multiple myeloma from medical school. When we were learning it I

So from that, I’ve learned a lot about myself.

said, “None of my patients are going to get that.

I’ve learned a lot about how I normally conduct

I’m going into Pediatrics. I’m not stuffing that

business, and as it relates to me thinking, “Oh,

little bit of information in my head, because

they’re the experts. They know how ...” Mm-mm

ain’t nobody going to get that.” I’ll remember

(negative). Nobody knows my body better than

the different leukemias, the lymphomas, non-

me. I don’t care if you’re not a doctor. Nobody

Hodgkins, Hodgkins, you know, all that blood

knows your body better than you. So when you

stuff. But I was like, multiple myeloma, that’s

go somewhere, and you’re telling somebody,

going to be old people. And I’m not going to

“I think something is going on with my uterus.

work with old people, so I don’t need to know that.

Isn’t that ironic? I remember saying that.

Oh, that’s hilarious, like you’re never going to get old.

Yeah. I’m never going to get old. People around me ain’t going to get old. They are never going to ask me about this. I don’t need to know multiple myeloma. Toss that out with the bathwater. I don’t need that.

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I think something’s happening with my ovary.

I think my breast is looking and feeling a little different from last time” – you keep going until somebody listens to you.

So can you tell me when you were scheduled to go to the hospital for your transplant?

My transplant is in June, the middle of June (2018). June 19th of all days girl.

June nineteenth? Juneteenth? Freedom Day? How prophetic is that?

I love it.

That’s my true emancipation. And I get discharged from the hospital 2-3 weeks later. I go in on the 19th. They start everything up, and my body has to then grasp the bone marrow transplant. They don’t release me until the day before Independence Day.

Amen.

Amen. So here we are, six months later. I’ve finished my first induction phase of chemo. And by the time your readers read this, I would have had my bone marrow transplant. I’ve changed my whole life around. I’ve become a complete vegan. I’ve learned how to detox my life and bring non-toxic people around me. Inviting and

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welcoming loving people. I’ve just done a whole

have if I am able to swim. My main goal is to

180. I went in a totally different direction. Not

learn how to swim. Every time that I was trying

360, because that brings you back to where you

to learn how to swim, something came up. One

started.

time I had to have a major abdominal surgery. I enrolled in another class and halfway through

(Updated June 2019) But I did a 180. Like, “I’m

I developed shingles. I’m going to learn how to

out of here. I’m going to live.” So, that’s where

swim.

I am. Now I’m here, one year after our initial interview cancer-free.

And I believe it. When do you feel the most confident?

Yes, Lord! “I’m going to live.” What’s a skill that you want to learn? And why?

When I’m talking to an audience of people who are engaged, and want to hear what I have

I really want to learn how to swim. I have been

to say. That’s when I feel the most confident.

to multiple swimming classes. Swimming is the

Regardless of their age, regardless of where we

ultimate in freedom. I can do some things but

are, or the event setting, that’s when I feel the

my technique could use some help. Swimming

most confident.

allows the body to just relax, and just be. I grew up with a fear of water. When I was younger, I was placed in a swimming school where they teaching technique was, “Sink or swim.”

We each went to the deep end and everybody had to jump into 12 feet of water. I almost drowned. The trainers had to jump in and rescue me. One of them said, “That really didn’t work for you.” Yeah. Everybody doesn’t learn the same way.

I think it’s because the audience feels that what I have to say is valuable, and they honor what I have to say. When I’m releasing pearls of wisdom, or whatever, I really feel like they’re valuing it, and they’re taking it in.

That’s when my confidence increases. I don’t even know if confidence is the right word, but my willingness to open up and be more transparent comes forth even more. When I know that you want to hear what I have to say,

If I’m international, and I’m doing things, I want

I’m going to break it down in as many ways as I

to experience everything. If we go to the Great

need to in order for you to get it.

Barrier Reef, eventually, I want to dive. I want to go because I’m not going to be able to see the splendor of the reef from the top.

So there are different experiences that I can

If you had to describe yourself in five words, what would they be?

One would be garrulous. Resilient. Witty.

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Direct. The last word is spontaneous. Some

lands that I’ve never visited before, even if I

people call it last minute. I call it spontaneity

don’t take my girls. That’s going to be a really

and it works for me. It increases my creativity.

big task after my bone marrow transplant,

I like it. It makes me feel all bubbly and alive on

traveling internationally. I’m excited, but I’m a

the inside. I like spontaneity.

little nervous because I’m starting over with my immune system. I’m looking forward to

Okay. What would you like your epitaph

starting over. That is what keeps me, on days

to be?

like yesterday that are really hard, it keeps me moving forward.

The first thing that came to my mind is, “She’s not gone.”

We’re going overseas, and we’re going to do this, and we’re going to throw a party. I really

If your life were a movie, what would be

want to throw a thank you party for everybody

your theme song?

who has been there, through texts, and phone calls. Because I know that when you appreciate

As a jazz buff, I love real jazz. I like jazz, jazz. I

people, it makes them really understand the

was trying to think of all the jazz music. If there

role that they play.

were words to something like “Bitches Brew”

by Miles Davis that would be my theme song.

But what came to me was actually Jazmine Sullivan’s “Masterpiece.”

If I had to pull from what already existed, it would definitely be “Masterpiece.” When I hear the words to that song…

Is there anything else you wish I had asked you?

What I wish you had asked, “What do plan on doing to celebrate your life after this? After you come out of this current traumatic situation that you’re in right now, how do you see yourself celebrating?”

How I would have answered that is, I plan on doing a global trek where I am visiting three 28

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Like, me saying thank you, honestly is not

I love you.

enough. I want to throw the biggest bash that I possibly can to really celebrate, so that

I love you, too.

we all understand the significance of life, the significance of family, the significance of love,

To learn more about Jeri or donate

and the significance of loss. I just really want us

to Global Girls, Global Women, go

to just be in there.

to globalgirlsglobalwomen.org, or

Usually, we wait until somebody’s death to

@G3Wtravel on Facebook.

celebrate like that. I just really want us to do that on a regular, like, “Hell yes. We are getting together to celebrate each other. Come on, girl. Everybody’s still living.” You know what I’m saying? We are all living.

And let them know, too, when you did my pictures, that it was during a time when I was unable to walk. I think that’s really important because people see those pictures, and they’re like, “Oh my God.” I was like, “You’ll know when we’re behind closed doors at that photo shoot.

You just don’t know.”

So I think that part is important because I really honor that, because neither you, nor my cousin, rushed me because I think ... I mean, I was rushing myself, but you all were like, “Hey. Let’s just be easy. Let’s just do this.” And the amount of pain that I was in by the time we got back to the house. She was like, “You’re going to sleep through the whole night tonight.” I was like, “Yeah, with no medicine.”

Oh, Lord. I’m so grateful. You’re amazing.

Thank you, you too. This was fun.

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Images by C-Suite Pics® Interview by Lydia Kearney Carlis, PhD Graphic design by Daniella Marooney

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