factual, this false prognostication is not valuable. MYTH 2- REPLACE THE LOSS. We often use this one around pet loss, the end of a relationship, or even a job loss. You hear and say things like, “Don’t worry, you’ll find a new position,” or “He wasn’t that great anyway.” People like to say that you can get a new dog, job, boyfriend, car, etc, and while it may be true on an intellectual level, it’s not that helpful to someone who is suffering in that moment. MYTH 3 - GRIEVE ALONE. This myth has been detrimental because it encourages isolation and stuffing emotions deep down. It’s important to distinguish between wanting to be alone and feeling like you need to be
alone because you don’t want to burden someone else. Having the support and love of others can be therapeutic and allow you to see that while our experiences are unique, we are having feelings that are universal. In words, this can sound like, “Call me if you need me,” “Your mother needs to be alone,” or “Go to your room if you are going to cry like that.” MYTH 4 - TIME HEALS ALL WOUNDS. This is another cliché that just isn’t true. Similar to “It’s all going to be okay,” this expression entails omniscient hope. Time itself does not create healing; it takes all possibility out of our hands because we can’t control time. When we take action, like participating in the Grief Recovery Method, we are making a choice to heal. Then time can do its job. MYTH 5KEEP BUSY. Similar to time heals all wounds because it insinuates that if you stay busy long enough, time will heal you. This isn’t necessarily going to prove true for everyone. At the end of a busy day, whatever loss or challenge you are facing
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is still there. If you don’t face your pain and difficult unresolved feelings, you can’t heal or grow. “Staying busy” encourages you to continue avoiding. MYTH 6- BE STRONG. This is one of the most common things that people say that is not helpful. What be strong means to me is, “pretend you’re fine,” which is exactly what I was doing wrong in my own grief years ago. This isn’t helpful because it encourages someone to put on a happy face for others so that others don’t have to deal with that person’s emotions. This myth causes isolation and forces, someone, to lie or suppress their true feelings. Understanding these myths and misinformation about grief are vital to upgrading how we treat ourselves after experiencing loss. By knowing that it is normal to feel bad, we can be more compassionate toward ourselves. It is also important to be compassionate toward ourselves when we feel good. This means embracing all of our emotions, not denying ourselves the joy or the sorrow. When we don’t try to avoid our feelings, they pass through us more quickly and easily. We make ourselves bad or wrong for feeling bad (and even for feeling good), and the truth is, the feelings aren’t bad or good, they just are. One of the most common sentiments after a loss is for the person who is grieving to