Dearest Unhappy, I used to be very unhappy, too. I blamed my parents for my childhood wounds, my boyfriends for not fulfilling my needs, and my job for my deep sense of disappointment and dissatisfaction. In fact, I became so unhappy that one day I contemplated driving my car off a cliff. Thank God I didn’t, but I felt devastated inside. That was a long time ago, but interestingly enough, it was my severe emotional pain that led me to my own salvation. I had to fall apart to begin putting the pieces of my life back together. It was through this hardship that I realized my happiness was not only my responsibility but also my choice. By sharing this, am I suggesting that you, too, have to fall apart to find happiness like I did? No. That was my path. However, I’d like to help you get well on your way to self-discovery and happiness.
My personal and professional experience has shown me that unhappiness is the result of having conditions and agendas. To help you understand what this means and how to release them, I’ve created the 3 Steps to Happiness below. 3 STEPS TO HAPPINESS STEP 1 - UNDERSTANDING YOUR CONDITIONS AND AGENDAS Conditions are the circumstances affecting the way in which you live, especially with regard to your well-being. • Exercise: To get an idea of the conditional thinking you’re operating from in your life, complete this sentence (as many times as necessary): I won’t be happy unless or until ___(fill in the blank)___. Example: I won’t be happy until my boyfriend spends more time focusing on our relationship.
Agendas are your conscious (or subconscious) plans or timetables that you use as guidelines for yourself and others. • Exercise: To understand the agendas you’re operating from, complete this sentence (as many times as necessary): ___(Your plan for yourself and/or others)___ needs to happen within ___(your timeline)___ in order for me to be happy.
Example: Making more money needs to happen within 6 months in order for me to be happy.
STEP 2 – AWARENESS OF YOUR CONDITIONS AND AGENDAS Having conditions and agendas makes for an unhappy life and is a recipe for disastrous relationships. It means that other people need to be, do or say things in a certain way in order for you to be happy. If they don’t, you end up blaming them for your unhappiness. By the way, you may be creating conditions and agendas for yourself, as well, which undermines your relationship with you. No one has created your unhappiness but yourself. And, my dearest reader, as you’ve experienced for yourself, trying to be or think positive when you’re feeling unhappy is extremely difficult. To help you reach the positive state of mind that you desire, try this exercise. • Exercise: Ask yourself these
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