september 2015 Volume 8 Issue 2
Homeless + Houseless
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5 COVER Seen and Unseen 8 makoa Anakalea The Forge 14 edie + Alizabeth hilihema rose
For Richer, For Poorer
20 scott fuji
What We Know and Don’t Know
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14
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26 aaron ffpennington
More Than Family
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unseen By: mickey weems
Riding a bike to work allows me to see Honolulu close-up. I pass by the Statehouse at least five days a week, so I see the protests, school groups, and the homeless. I ride through Chinatown with its revelers, shoppers, and the homeless. Going along the new bike lane on King Street, I pass Thomas Square with its giant banyan tree, festivals, and the homeless. I know a few of them, such as Jeff (not his real name), a semi-celebrity with a wiry mustache who hangs out by the Hawai‘i Theatre and Alyson (not her real name), an elderly, wheelchair-bound woman who refuses to stay in a shelter. She asks me if I want to eat dinner with her - she’ll pick up the tab, she says. There is a crew of four or five gentlemen who bed down under a large overhang of a business - I call them the Scholars. They are typically reading, conversing, or listening to a radio as I
pass by. One of them has a little dog with him. A few weeks ago, there was a purge of homeless people in the Makiki area, and the Scholars disappeared. I watched as a procession of downcast souls with shopping carts streamed out of the neighborhood. Since then, the Scholars have returned to their overhang. But one person who I have not seen in a while is the Standing Man: thin, barefoot, with disheveled black hair and blackened, crusty patches on his sun-browned legs. He never said anything to anyone, and would sometimes freeze in place, catatonic - his mind drifting elsewhere, far away from the filthy remnants of clothes that somewhat covered his body. On my way home, I go up Nu‘uanu Avenue. I often see a strikingly handsome older man who looks like actor Sam Elliott. Sam will nod to me and sometimes say something that I never understand, but the look in his eyes is benign. Or the Wooly Man, sporting a fluffy white beard and massive white cumuluscloud of hair around his head, his pink Santa-Claus face peeping out as he walks to whatever destination he appears so very intent to reach. Not all encounters are pleasant. Near the corner of Pauahi and Bethel in Chinatown, a friend and I were talking as an unhappy woman thin as a branch approached us, all the while swinging a towel that she claimed in a monologue laced with obscenities, a male acquaintance of hers had pissed all over. We paid her no mind until she looked at me with fire in her eyes, yelled at me, then hit me on my leg with the wet piss-towel. My buddy yelled at her and she promptly hit him in the face with the urinesoaked cloth. She ran away when I said we were calling the police. I used to take the homeless in stride, making sure my bike didn’t run over the occasional person passed out in broad daylight on the wide sidewalks of Vineyard Boulevard. But I did not defend the homeless in conversations. Then I went to the Honolulu State Library. EX PR ESSION 808.COM - s e p te m b e r 2015 | 5
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“We share some understanding of the phenomenon from people who have lived it [homeless/houseless].” I noticed that there were men sitting at the study tables set up around the mezzanine on the second floor, all looking a bit weary, all studying some text or another, all of them quiet. Perhaps because I had been conditioned by what I see everyday, I had a hunch that they were homeless. I went to the help desk on the first floor and asked if there were many homeless people in the library. Yes, said the employee with a guarded look on her face. Perhaps she feared that I would register a complaint. I assured her that I was not upset, but rather pleased that the library offered them a place they could go, with the bonus option of furthering their own education. I also mentioned that I’d like to write an article about the homeless. As I was leaving the library, a young woman approached me. Was I serious about writing an article? she asked. Indeed I was, I told her. She then informed me that she too was homeless. I was surprised - she did not match any of my stereotypes. This woman was young, pretty, with no sign of deprivation. Her voice was clear, her demeanor calm. She told me she was staying just up the road at a shelter. Life for homeless people was not how the local media described it, she said. In order to protect herself, she had to find secure places during the day when the shelter made her leave. There was about an hour of vulnerability in the morning when the shelter closed and the library opened, then she was safe until the library closed and the shelter opened once more.
lies with kids huddled under tarps in Kaka‘ako. Some of them lost their homes on islands hit by U.S. nukes and rising sea levels in Micronesia. Others flee abusive relationships, including vulnerable LGBT youth despised by God and family. Still others cannot deal with the world in their heads - much less the world outside of it - but nobody passing them on the street would be the wiser. “I don’t know who I am,” said the pretty young woman who spoke with me at the library. Then there is that highly visible minority, the ones swinging pisstowels, falling asleep on the sidewalk, sprawling out at bus stops, yelling at invisible enemies, or simply standing still. For all the homeless we do see, some are invisible to us. They hide in plain sight, some living out of their cars, others encamped wherever they can find refuge. The lucky ones work through the bureaucracy, or their own demons, until they find a secure home. This month, we give you some of their stories. We offer no solutions, only the experiences of the phenomenon from people who have lived it.
The reasons for homelessness are varied economic pressures and lack of affordable housing push people into the street, including fami-
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forge By: mickey weems | Photos: jtl
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Makoa Ponoli‘li‘i Kamalu Anakalea describes himself as a Southern gentleman. He was born in Hawai‘i from a Hawaiian mother, but spent his early years in coastal Georgia on property that had at one point been tilled by slaves, like his ancestors on his father’s side. Aware of the history surrounding him in Georgia, he chooses to live in Hawai‘i and on the positive side of Southern manhood - the manners, sense of decorum, the quiet strength that marks the best of men of color from the region. Anakalea did not get to that place easily. When he identified as lesbian, he had a good job, place to stay, and a girlfriend. But it all struck him as unreal. “I had been fiercely independent. Everything I had built upon was a distraction from the dysphoria I was struggling with. My outside world was everything I had imagined, but my inside world was crumbling.” He looked at everything he had done and could not find himself in it. “The accomplishments were not mine,” he remembered. “All the certificates, recognition in newspapers, photos, it wasn’t me. It was someone else, someone I didn’t see myself as anymore.” Anakalea abandoned everything in 2013 - home, job, girlfriend, safety - so he could rebuild himself as a man. Homelessness was the forge in which he hammered out his new identity, and he took the heat that comes with such a drastic shift.
Into the Fire Anakalea was alone. Who could he trust? Where was a safe place to sleep? Vulnerability took on scary proportions during the simplest acts, such as taking a shower. “There were times I had to fight because I was a target. I was on guard all of the time, especially changing clothes.” But he found people he could count on - professional counselors who gave him advice, fellow homeless people to watch his back: “It didn’t matter about my transition. There were other things to worry about. Did people feel safe to sleep around me? Could they trust me with their things? The answer was always yes, and they returned the favor.” A year’s worth of survival on society’s lowest rung became
the furnace and anvil upon which Anakalea hammered out the man he wanted to be. Habits ingrained for a lifetime had to be modified.
making the Man While living on the edge, he worked on changing what was within. Habits ingrained for a lifetime had to be modified. Anakalea’s mother gave him a great example of how to be a good woman, but not how to be a good man: “She never looked up nor looked down on anyone, and she taught me to fight with my words. She paid her bills, bought her own furniture, and took care of her kids. She did right by everyone. I am a lot like her, especially her kind and unkind words. Her dream was to become a welder. But my transition could not be a result of her example.” He wanted to temper the iron of manhood, to discover gentleness in its masculine expressions, not according to the macho caricatures paraded before us. “A Southern gentleman knows what it is to be strong, wild even, and not overdo himself on people that don’t deserve it.” He had to find that balance after having lived in a very different identity for all those years. “I was a very feminine little girl. A pretty princess. As a transman, privileges naturally change, but I also had to choose to change
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things that were and weren’t acceptable to me.” Anakalea’s quest was truly to become a gentleman: gentle but not in a feminine sense. Too often when a man expresses womanly kindness, he is perceived as soft and vulnerable. He definitely wanted to break away from the kind of man he saw in his father, who failed to treat his mother with respect: “I know what a man did to the first woman I ever cared about, and I know what a fool I don’t have to become. But every now and then in my journey to become a man, I feel sympathy for my father. It’s not an excuse, but being a black man sucks sometimes in ways that remind me of the dirt roads and simple tongues in the Georgia counties I call kin. He was told he would never amount to anything, and I wonder what his dream was.”
Emerging From the Forge When Anakalea had enough of living on the street, he rid himself of a lot of things he picked up from there. Reflecting upon his experiences, he sees his time on the street as a necessary phase to find the man that he is today. “In college, I invested my everything into finding love while I ignored who I was, and I only found heartache. I invested in money and lost my self worth. Now that I acknowledge who I am, I see my life coming together, my body getting stronger, new friends and loves entering my life.” Homelessness gave him the space to transform on multiple levels. “I’ve never been an opponent to change. At my lowest point I surrendered to God and demanded he give me all he had - and man, did he serve it to me! But now is a new chapter. The pages are turning, and once again I’m telling you I’m ready.”
The Koi Pond at Eaton Square: A Homeless Vignette I’ve always been a light sleeper. The shift of a body, a cat’s meow, a roach on my blanket, the blue lights of a police car. I could feel the fluorescent blue on my face and the air change. My eyes are still closed. I know the intention already, but now I’m pretty pissed off. I’ve been through enough police raids before so I take 10 | s e p te m b e r 2 0 1 5 - E X PRESSION808.C OM
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“My outside world was everything I had imagined, but my inside world was crumbling.” 12 | s e p te m b e r 2 0 1 5 - E X PRESSION808.C OM
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my sweet-ass time gathering myself together. “Hey, you need to move on.” It’s a pretty simple statement, one that I’ve heard before, a statement they were probably armed with in order to get the point across but not antagonize conflict. I even heard it come from Hashimoto’s mouth at the last City Council meeting I attended. Move on? Move on from what? Move on from this spot? Move on from this class war? Move on from my occupied being? Move on from this world? When I finally get my shit in order, I talk back: “Here we go again. You know I’m just gonna move to another unmanned area. We gonna keep doing this again?” His expression changes. When I stand up to address him, he spaces his footing and puts a hand on his gun. At this point I could give him what he wants. I could get belligerent, but I’m angry, not stupid. I can’t get arrested. I have an interview on Monday. By the time I get to court to plea my case, I won’t get out on time. “The park rules are in place and you’re not suppose to be here dur-dur-dur-you would be facing arrest if you don’t move on.” Dur-dur-dur? Did this dude just say that? He’s nervous! I look into his eyes with a “Mmm. Riiiight.” So I run away without looking back. I remember being chased by the officer for at least eight strides... Still filled with adrenaline from my encounter, I go for a walk. Meanwhile, I see drunk men walk side by side with smiles and rowdy reminiscence, couples arguing, couples making up, people I know from youth outreach. We acknowledge each other with silent understanding. There’s no room for etiquette this late. Rather than feel sad, livid, or self-pitying, I go into my own world of reminiscence. Just as I head to my happy place in the belly of the beast, a guy comes at my face with his fist. I flinch and step back. He continues to walk past me as I size him up. Haole guy in a red shirt, barefoot, and his eyes glazed when he looks back. I speed towards him to catch up. Just as I am about to rage, a police car speeds by. He’s drunk, I say. Let it go. But wait: I didn’t do anything to deserve that. I round the corner and try to catch him. I wait for an hour just to see if I would see “Red Shirt” again. I didn’t. So, I go away... steady resuming my original path. Being a transman, I’ve lived in all-male shelters and been harassed “sexually. I have been shamed showering at the beach to get ready for
interviews. It’s a lot harder as a homeless LGBT person because a lot of times, our home life is the reason we have a more unstable start in school and then the workforce. Living on the street, you have to rely on people in your same situation, whether it’s finding a place to sleep, eat or protect yourself. Not a lot of people that are homeless are friendly unless sex is involved.
”
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For Richer, For Poorer By: mickey weems | Photos: jtl
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Edie and Alizabeth Hilihema Rose will not let anything get between them. They moved together from the Big Island to O‘ahu. Everything was all set - they had a job as live-in caregivers. After successfully helping their client live on her own, they found a second job, or so they thought. That job fell through, and they found themselves in the middle of a financial crisis. They spent one month living out of their car and three months in a homeless shelter. The crisis was aggravated by their reluctance to tell relatives they were in love. The two-decade difference in age helped them keep their relationship under wraps - that, and Hawai‘i’s custom of hanai adoption that allows families to take in members who are not related to them by blood. “I was known as Edie’s son’s hanai sister,” said Alizabeth, “so I would naturally be the hanai daughter of Edie. It came in handy with our cover story to why we never lived apart from each other.” When they went from car to shelter, they lived as two single women. They shared the same space in the shelter and watched out for each other until the time came when they were back on their feet. At one point, Alizabeth was granted a singles apartment, but it would have meant leaving Edie in the shelter, so she turned the offer down despite Edie’s protests. The two stuck together throughout the entire ordeal. “For nine years, we hid our true relationship,” said Alizabeth. But by the time SB1 [bill for marriage equality] came around, Edie and Alizabeth were front and center on the side of marriage equality. We met during those fateful days - I watched Alizabeth dance hula as anti-equality protesters beat their signs and chanted, “Let the people vote!” Her skills as a dancer melded beautifully with the pulse of the chant. I for one am grateful that Edie and Alizabeth came out - of the shelter, of the closet, and to the rallies - to add their own magic.
How long had you been on O‘ahu before you were homeless? Edie: We were already living on O‘ahu two years prior.
So what happened? Edie: We were live-in caregivers with a client who was in a wheelchair, but was able to live on her own again, and that’s how that job ended. We were able to find another live-in caregiver job. We signed the contract and were told that in a few weeks, our room and bathroom would be ready. So, in the meantime, we went to the Big Island for several days, came back to O‘ahu, and stayed in a hotel for about two weeks. Then we got a phone call from our client, saying she changed her mind, voided the contract, and chose to live by herself. At that point we had practically spent all our money on hotel room and eating in restaurants.
But you didn’t go immediately to a shelter. Edie: We ended up living in our car for a month. That was rough. I dropped my pride and we stayed with my niece for two nights and my sister for two weeks before we put ourselves in a shelter. Alizabeth: We were staying with family for two weeks, and I felt that it was wrong. We got ourselves into the mess, so we should get ourselves out. I looked up how to get into the shelters, and we applied at a place on Waialae Avenue. We were interviewed and signed papers. The guy that interviewed us said that there are a lot of openings for single women in the shelter. We got in a day or two later.
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“We’ve been
homeless together - we were poor, poor, poor and we were happy and loving and caring for each other - and that’s what marriage is.” -Alizabeth
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Because you were closeted, you went into the system as two single women rather than as a couple? Alizabeth: We did not want anyone to find out that we were homeless and worse, find out that we were gay. To have any family member find out through rumors and not from our mouths would have been horrible. It was bad enough to have lied to everyone, but to have them find out the truth from someone else would be heartbreaking.
Tell us about the shelter. Alizabeth: It was stressful. It was not clean. We bought Clorox to clean and scrub the shower and toilet area just before we used it. The showers and bathroom area were always flooded with water up to our ankles. We bought high slipper sandals from Ross to help with keeping our feet clean when taking a shower.
Did you ever feel unsafe in the shelter? Alizabeth: Our first night in the shelter, a naked man passed through the family area, then the single women’s area, before putting on his shorts. He had taken a shower located outside of the shelter and walked in, putting his shirt on then his shorts while walking from the front of the shelter to the back where all the single men sleep. There was also a bully who was very aggressive towards the single elderly and mentally ill women. The bully tried to push her weight around with us, but that didn’t fly. We had a stern talk with her, and she backed off. We would often tell the women, “Don’t let anyone bully you! Speak up and be heard!”
Tell us about the tsunami alert in 2011. Alizabeth: There was no place for homeless people to go, no plan. I worked that day and went to the shelter to find Edie. She was not at the shelter and I was worried. I thought staff had a place for the homeless, but they told everyone to head up the mountain. Edie had the car and I was on my moped. I tried to call her many times, but the phone would not go through. I thought about where she would go and I headed back to my job. I found Edie parked there and was so relieved. She had another elderly lady with her that we helped previously with bullying in the shelter. We were going to sleep in our car and I asked the nuns if we could park overnight and use the restroom. EXPR ESSION 808.COM - se p te m b e r 2015 | 17
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They said, “Come in and stay with us for the night. If we didn’t help you, we wouldn’t be nuns.” We had a room with two beds, TV, and a mini refrigerator with juice and water. What a blessing! We were safe and had dinner, shelter, and drinks for the night - clean shower, clean sheets, and clean dining area. I will never forget it.
How did you get yourselves out of the shelter? Alizabeth: I had found a job first, and that is why I was offered an apartment. Then I saved money and we applied to Catholic Charities for the down payment of an apartment for the both of us. We qualified for Section 8 for rental assistance. A lot of different services helped us get back on our feet. That process was long, and I feel like the workers made mistakes just so we would not get help because we didn’t look or act like people that needed help. After we left the shelter, it took a few years of working odd jobs to get out of the hole we were in. Then I finally finished massage school last year and took the state test, passed it, and got licensed.
“I have never had
anybody that took care of as she does - and loves me. She’s always been there for me. She’s my right hand, my rock.” -Edie
By: mickey weems | Photos: jtl
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When did you finally come out? I remember seeing you both at the SB1 hearings. By June 2013, we started telling our friends. We got more active in the gay community and plugged in fast. By SB1 time, we had told friends but not a lot of family yet. By the time we were signing up to get married [3am on December 2, 2013, the first day of marriage equality], close family members had gotten the news only a week or so before. SB1 and the gay community helped us to come out in flying colors. It was the right time for it all! We are so happy it all happened the way it did.
And how about now? Alizabeth: We decided to start our own business so we can work together and be together always. It is called Mobile VIP Massage LLC. It is 100% mobile, we do not have a location. Edie: We went from the shelter to owning our own business! We are truly blessed to have each other, and I thank God everyday for that. EXPR ESSION 808.COM - se p te m b e r 2015 | 19
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What We Know and Don’t know By: mickey weems | Photos: JTL
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People in Hawai‘i care about each other, and that is what makes the homeless crisis such a hot issue. We want to help, but we don’t want people taking unfair advantage of the system. First, we must have the facts as best they can be determined. According to a 2014 survey by the U.S. Department of Housing and Urban Development (HUD), homelessness in Hawai‘i was tallied at about 7,000 people, a 20% increase since 2009. Over half were in households with children. About 15% of them were chronically homeless, and about 17% had severe mental illness. Over a quarter of them were children under 18. Out of all homeless households, over half were not in shelters or transitional housing. Of all the islands, Hawai‘i Island has seen the biggest increase in terms of percentage, O‘ahu in actual numbers. In a 2015 survey by the City and County of Honolulu, there are around 5,000 homeless on O‘ahu, a 30% increase since 2009. 34% of O‘ahu homeless live in Honolulu, 24% in Ewa, and 35% on the Waianae coast. About 20% of the homeless in O’ahu have severe mental illness. Transgender homeless are included in the survey - out of 15 counted, only three are sheltered. A task force of Governor Ige and Partners in Care (PIC) recently interviewed 293 homeless people in Kaka‘ako. 78% of them said they would move into a shelter, but they cannot access the system - there also appears to be insufficient housing for them. The problem is getting worse: According to Greg Payton, Chair of Partners in Care, “Even when people are working, the income levels of homeless households is not enough to cover the cost of housing in Hawai‘i. People are falling into homelessness faster than expected.”
There are other factors, some related to the LGBT community. Too many of our youth are still being thrown out of their families for their orientation or gender expression. According to a 2006 study conducted by the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force, 40% of homeless youth nationwide are LGBT, and 26% report that they were told to leave home after coming out. This does not mean they or any of the LGBT homeless feel like they can utilize all the resources to help them. Many of us are scared of a system that depends on churches for aid - we don’t know if those churches are going to turn on us if they discover our authentic selves. In order to answer more questions about the situation, eXpression! spoke with Scott Fuji, Interim Executive Director of PHOCUSED (Protecting Hawai‘i’s Ohana, Children, UnderServed, Elderly & Disabled), an organization that is dedicated to documenting and helping the most vulnerable in Hawai‘i society.
What got you involved with homelessness? Scott Fuji: I’ve always felt that homelessness should not be treated as though it is a criminal activity with people that are somehow not like us. Whether or not that person looks, acts, or loves like us does not make them someone to be shunned and pushed into dark corners.
How does Honolulu compare with other cities in terms of homelessness? Honolulu has the second highest per capita rate of homelessness in the nation, behind only Washington, D.C. As a result, we have participated as one of the 25 cities receiving technical assistance from the federal government. EXPR ESSION 808.COM - se p te m b e r 2015 | 21
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Do we know how many of our homeless were from the mainland and were homeless there? While some data is collected on where folks lived previously and how long they have been in Hawai‘i, there isn’t reliable data on how many were previously unsheltered before moving here. When discussing this question with our national providers, they reported that many communities across the nation feel this is anecdotally their situation. However, they have not found any evidence that any communities are purposefully sending their homeless to other cities.
What percentage of the homeless population are homeless due to economic reasons? We have gathered data into three categories of need: Mainstream, Rapid Re-Housing (RRH), and Permanent Supportive Housing (PSH). People in the “Mainstream” category are homeless due to economic factors and that’s all. Simply put, they just don’t make enough money to be able to afford rent. People in RHH need short-term help with rent for economic and other reasons, up to nine months, with some case management to assist them during that time. People in the PSH category are the ones that cannot take care of themselves due to physical or mental disabilities. They typically need on-going rental support as well as intensive case management to address the needs of the individual or family.
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So the people we see crashed out on sidewalks or yelling for no apparent reason are in the PPH category. Are they the majority of the homeless population? No. 30% of the homeless are in the Mainstream category, 40% in the RRH category, and 30% are in the PSH range. It is also important to note that the PSH range does not necessarily indicate that a person is having psychotic episodes or creating a public nuisance. Therefore, less than 30% of the homeless population is made up of the individuals that are highly visible due to public behavioral issues.
Do you have information about how many LGBT people (youth, trans, etc.) are homeless, or if there are organizations who might not be friendly to our people? Unfortunately, we arenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t as closely tracking the information regarding LGBT issues within the population of those experiencing homelessness. Our data gathering is primarily focused on information regarding what supports may be needed to help a household get into housing and stay permanently housed.
What has been the effect of the no-sit/no-lie sidewalk laws? The intention of the sit-lie ordinances, according to the current Honolulu Administration, was to encourage homeless households to engage with services providers such as shelters. A recent survey conducted by the University of Hawaiâ&#x20AC;&#x2DC;i Department of Urban and Regional department found that the majority of folks displaced by the sit-lie ordinances were not interested in accessing shelter services. An unforeseen consequence of the sit-lie ordinance has caused homeless populations to congregate in public areas such as the Kakaâ&#x20AC;&#x2DC;ako area. Another unintended consequence of this is that service providers have had a more difficult time finding their clients.
Why is it that there are such large numbers of homeless setting up tents in public spaces? Is there insufficient shelter space? While there are open shelter spaces available, it is primarily in a couple of shelters and within those shelters, there is limited space available for families. There are also barriers to accessing emergency shelters, such as required documents, substance abuse, EXPR ESSION 808.COM - se p te m b e r 2015 | 23
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â&#x20AC;&#x153;Whether
or not that person looks, acts, or loves like us does not make them someone to be shunned and pushed into dark corners.â&#x20AC;?
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and mental health issues that can make it difficult for those to access shelter. There has been an increased focus on how to lower some of those barriers, such as Housing First, a harm-reduction approach that emphasizes getting folks into housing, then help them address their substance abuse and mental health concerns.
What other data concerning the homeless would you want to share with the general public? Nearly half of the 3,600+ households surveyed have reported being assaulted or attacked. Onethird also reported having friends or family in their lives that take advantage of them. While many see those experiencing homeless as a public nuisance, disruption, or otherwise dangerous population, it is important to remember that homelessness is a traumatic experience.
Their families take advantage of them? How? Case managers and outreach workers have reported that there are instances where family or friends have taken an individual’s benefits for themselves. It is sometimes difficult for individuals to separate themselves from those that may be taking advantage of them.
Any help for homeless people with AIDS? There are specific programs, funded through the Department of Housing and Urban Development (HUD), aimed at meeting the needs of people experiencing homelessness with AIDS. Services
include transitional housing and permanent supportive housing, both of which include case management. [Note: In Hawai‘i, Gregory House Programs is dedicated specifically to this demographic. www.GregoryHouse.org]
What can the general public do to help? Homeless service providers are always in need of donations of hygiene supplies, bedding, and other household items to assist households both unsheltered and getting ready to move into housing. Partners in Care, a coalition of homeless service providers, is an excellent resource for learning more about how anyone concerned with homelessness can get plugged in. Another major need for those struggling with homelessness is of course, housing. Educating landlords on the supportive services that are available to those moving into housing with a voucher is important to highlight. Service providers are eager to discuss their programs with those who have units to rent. To learn more about PHOCUSED, go to Phocused-Hawaii.org or call 808-521-7459. For services, you may also contact Hawai‘i State Social Services and the following organizations under the Waikiki Health Center that are LGBTfriendly: Youth Outreach (YO), 415 Keoniana Street, Honolulu, HI 96815, 808-942-5858, and Homeless Hotline (HomelessHelp@WaikikiHealth. org) 808-791-9359. Those who are HIV+ may contact Gregory House Programs (GregoryHouse. org) 808-592-9022. Families with minor dependent children may contact the LGBT-inclusive Kahumana Transitional Housing, Ohana Ola Site, 808-696-4905 or the Ulu Ke Kukui site, 808-620-9011 in Waianae (Kahumana.org).
0
OR
$1000
DISCOUNT **
The most-award-winning small SUV1
32 MPG
HIGHWAY 2
VISIT SUBARUHAWAII.COM FOR CURRENT OFFERS AND INVENTORY *Applies only to specific models and only for specific model years. APR offers subject to credit approval; not all applicants will qualify. Must purchase/take delivery by 7/31/15. APR offers limited to stock on the lot and will not be applied to backorders. Vehicle selection is subject to availability. Special financing rate on the 2015 Forester available up to $35,000; $16.67 per $1,000 financed for 60 months. Down payment may be required on certain models. Not combinable with any other special financing rates, discounts, rebates, employee prices or other offers. Restrictions apply. Vehicles may not be exactly as shown. See a Subaru Hawaii dealer or visit SubaruHawaii.com for additional details. Offer ends 7/31/15. **$1,000 discount offer good with purchase and delivery of any new or demo 2015 Forester. In stock; No backorders. Not combinable with any other discounts, rebates or any other offers. All vehicles subject to prior sale. Restrictions apply. See a participating Subaru Hawaii dealer or visit SubaruHawaii.com for additional details. Offer ends 7/31/15. 1Claim based on cumulative awards won since 1997 from Car and Driver (5 Best Trucks), ALG (Residual Value Awards), and Polk (Polk Automotive Loyalty Award). 2EPA-estimated hwy fuel economy for 2015 Subaru Forester models. Actual mileage may vary.
EXPR ESSION 808.COM - se p te m b e r 2015 | 25
aa ro n
more than family By: mickey weems | Photos: JTL
Everything was cool until he went to California to visit his lover. No, actually, everything was not cool. For Aaron Pennington, the closet was not a refuge - it was a pressure cooker, and finally it went off. He told his father he was flying out to see his boyfriend, already a sore point in a tense father-son relationship. His father told him not to go, but he went anyway, and this rebellious act got him kicked out of his home. Pennington’s honesty was commendable, but his timing was disastrous: He was in school and holding multiple jobs just to stay afloat. Like so many people who find themselves in similar situations, Pennington had to make some hard choices, such as whether to have a home or keep his car. Initially, he made his car his home. This put him into a state of instability: He was constantly on the move so that he would not get hassled for parking too long in the same place. Thanks to some good-hearted Hawaiian homesteaders, he was able to pitch his family’s tent (which he took when he left home) on their property. At least that way, he was in a place free of hassle from authorities or some of the more unsavory members of our society. But he was not free from the ravages of nature. At one point his computer was soaked when rain flooded the yard. Pennington eventually got back on his feet, but he has never forgotten what he went through, the good and the bad. His story is a reminder that if you have problems with your birthfamily, you may find other families you belong to that can help. 26 | s e p te m b e r 2 0 1 5 - E X PRESSION808.C OM
Background
Aaron Pennington: I am a 24-year-old of mixed descent from a military family. My father is a retired Marine of German, Irish, English and Native American-Chippewa background, and my mother is originally from Vietnam. I was raised in Iwakuni and Okinawa, Japan when I was small and then grew up in Kailua since I started high school. The beach is my playground, but I also love to play music and practice martial arts. I graduated from Hawai‘i Pacific University with an International Business degree, but for now, I am enjoying my time as a bartender at Tapas Bar in Waikiki and a server at a Japanese restaurant. I started music when I was 8 years old. First, I taught myself how to play on a cheap plastic keyboard my parents brought to the house. While attending Kalaheo High school, I played baritone saxophone, and learned to jam ukulele in the back of Arby’s in Kailua when I used to be the drive-thru boy. At Hawai‘i Pacific University, I was blessed with a music scholarship that covered the majority of my tuition. Otherwise, I don’t think I would have gone to school in the first place.
aa r on
EXPR ESSION 808.COM - se p te m b e r 2015 | 27
aa ron
“I had no
steady place to stay and was too ashamed to seek help.”
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No Gayness Allowed
My father had clues of my sexuality while I was growing up, but made it very clear early on that it was unacceptable for me to be gay. Knowing his disposition on the matter, I became comfortable with lying and hiding things about myself to try and not anger my family. The environment made me feel like a problem child in my own household, and created a mentality that made me fine with being rebellious and secretive. During my teenage years, I was constantly butting heads with my father. I would do things that he did not condone, and I was eventually kicked out after the trip to California.
Hard Times in the Hotel Passat
I was not actually homeless but houseless. The first year of being on my own was rough because I had no steady place to stay and was too ashamed to seek help. At first I would sneak in and out of my friends’ dorm rooms at HPU until security caught on. But the majority of the time I was sleeping in my car, a 2004 Volkswagen Passat, at different locations until I set up a tent on a property in Kahana Valley.
‘Ohana in Kahana Valley
I had “borrowed” a family-sized tent from my parent’s house and set it up on a close friend’s family property in beautiful Kahana valley. At first I was in love with having this setup because I no longer had to contain all of my belongings in my vehicle and look like a mobile hoarder. I would still sleep in my car nearby my jobs and school whenever I had to be there at times early in the morning, but I was thrilled to have something constant and a place to call my own.
Although there wasn’t much electricity, no cellphone reception and no hot running water on the property, the family took me in, fed me, and allowed me to use their restrooms and bathe. It was one of the most carefree and happiest times of my life because I was liberated to be myself, had people who accepted me, and was in close proximity to the world class surf spots of North Shore. My dream of being a beach bum was fulfilled! The scariest thing while I was living in a tent was the wildlife and the weather. During the nine-month period, I lived in a heavily forested area near the river of Kahana Valley. There would be huge wild boars that would pass by that I did not want to mess with, but the scariest were the cockroaches and centipedes. The weather was the biggest concern because of the threat of flash floods. The river overflowed a few times, nearly taking all my stuff. The latter half of my stay was extremely rainy and it was hard to keep dry.
Multiple Families
The situation really made me realize the importance of having a strong support system. I had kept my situation a secret to most people out of pride, like my mom. But the people who did know did not hesitate to help me out. I learned the real meaning of what a hanai [adoption of non-kinfolk] family is. Of course there was the ‘ohana in Kahana Valley that took me in with open arms, but I also had several other groups. I have my straight surfer friends who did not judge me and could always show me a good time with no money. I have my Kung Fu family, Au’s Shaolin Arts Society, who allowed me to stay in the school as a place of refuge. I have my drag family, which made me realize that there is nothing wrong with being gay, and I also had my music friends who helped me focus my feelings into something expressive and fun. I was part of the rhythm section of the Sea Warrior band playing keyboard. I grew close to my band mates, and that helped me through troubled times.
Back on Track…
I am currently doing great! I have two awesomely fun jobs in Waikiki that I enjoy, which allow me to pay debts from school, own my car, and rent a nice place with friends. I now do live performances around Waikiki, just as a way to have fun. My dad and I were estranged, but now we have a good relationship. We don’t talk about my sexuality, but we are on good terms. My mom has been increasingly accepting of me since I’ve been on my own.
EXPR ESSION 808.COM - se p te m b e r 2015 | 29
Mission + Purpose
To inspire Hawai‘i’s LGBT (lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender) people to realize their worth, and to live authentic lives.
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Entire contents copyrighted 2008–2015 eXpression! Magazine is a registered trademark. All rights reserved. eXpression! Magazine is published monthly in Hawai‘i and welcomes manuscripts, original works and various forms of expression for publication. eXpression! Magazine reserves publication rights to submitted materials. eXpression! Magazine assumes no responsibility for unsolicited materials unless otherwise pre-agreed in writing. eXpression! Magazine does not take any financial or libel obligation to the content of its columnists and advertisers. All materials submitted are consent to be original. All views and opinions are those of the writer and bear no implications on the opinions of eXpression! Magazine. Registered trademarks used within are hereby acknowledged, images and contents released and permitted. No implication regarding sexual orientation or preference is made in connection with any persons, contributors, and or advertisers appearing in this publication.
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