Exeposé Issue 634, 2 February 2015

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A first class scandal?

2 February 2015 • Issue 634(ii) • Twitter: @Exepose • www.facebook.com/Exepose • Free

Photo: Edwin Yeung

• £3 million spent on staff expenses in 2014 • Top ten earners claimed over £10,000 on �irst class rail tickets and up to £12,000 each • We scrutinise the Vice-Chancellor’s pay package EXCLUSIVE INVESTIGATION: PAGES 6 & 7 News & Comment Still waiting: Wellbeing one year on

Page 3 & 9

Features “You can’t ask him that!”

An uncomfortable Shadow Chancellor on dating & ‘Ed Balls Day’

Page 15

Sabb elections Everything you need to know about the upcoming Guild elections

Pages 23-34

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Email: editors@exepose.com Call: (01392) 723513 Editors Print: Harrison Jones & Gemma Joyce Online: Callum Burroughs & Meg Lawrence Deputy Editors Callum McLean & Vanessa Tracey depeds@exepose.com News Editors Print: Hannah Butler & Emily Leahy Online: Rachel Gelormini & Laura-Jane Tiley news@exepose.com Comment Editors Print: Callum McLean & Vanessa Tracey Online: Rachel Brown & Matt Wilcock comment@exepose.com Features Editors Print: Rory Morgan & Emma Thomas Online: Kayley Gilbert & Fran Lowe features@exepose.com Lifestyle Editors Print: Eamonn Crowe & Jack Wardlaw Online: Alice Belton & Harriette Casey lifestyle@exepose.com Music Editors Print: Kate Burgess & Tristan Gatward Online: Pavel Kondov & Lewis Norman music@exepose.com Screen Editors Print: Josh Mines & Ciaran Willis Online: Will Cafferky & Emma Sudderick screen@exepose.com Books Editors Print: Natalie Clark & Chloe Glassonbury Online: Sophie Harrison & Christy Ku books@exepose.com Arts Editors Print: Sarah Gough & Bethany Stuart Online: Laura Christopher & Stephie Wilson arts@exepose.com Games & Tech Editors Print: Josh Creek & Adam Smith Online: Rosie Howard & Harry Shepherd games@exepose.com Sport Editors Print: James Beeson & Sophy Coombes-Roberts Online: Alex Bonner & Freddie Turner sports@exepose.com Photography Edwin Yeung photography@exepose.com Copy Editors Sabrina Aziz, Isobel Burston & Flora Carr

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University news from beyond Exeter

Labour to cut uni fees by a third?

$50k damage bills for Michigan Uni

Mexico Uni closed by gang threats

LABOUR are considering cutting tuition fees by a third, according to reports in the national media. The pledge is expected to cost up to £10 billion, with a pledge to cut fees from £9,000 to £6,000 expected.

A Labour spokesperson stated: “This government has managed to �ind a system that puts a huge burden of debt on students, while almost costing the taxpayer more than it saves.

It lets down the next generation and public �inances.”

Tuition fees were introduced under Labour in 1998 before the coalition tripled them in 2010, despite a Lib Dem pledge to vote against such proposals.

The plans, which are yet to be �inalised, have attracted criticism (page 4), but will likely appeal to young voters and the middle classes.

POLICE had to step in at Treetops Resort, Michigan, after manager Barry Owens claimed that Michigan University’s fraternity, Sigma Alpha Mu, caused over $50,000 worth of damage to the alpine retreat. Owens reported that the group destroyed carpets and furnishings and even made “holes in the walls,” in addition to being “very disruptive to additional guests.”

Chapter President Josh Kaplan commented on behalf of the fraternity that its members were “embarrassed and ashamed.” The resort has arranged a meeting with University of�icials and is deliberating whether to press charges. University spokesman Rick Fitzgerald said the University was “disappointed” in students’ behaviour.

Degrees annulled

by Nazis renewed

THE Universidad Valle de Mexico’s Nuevo Laredo campus has been shut down following threats by local gangsters.

It was reported that the campus was closed on 15 January and that security personnel have now been withdrawn.

The vice president for corporate affairs and communications at the University, Sophie Anaya, stated that the campus was shut “in response to a threat received from a criminal gang that wanted to enter the facilities, and if not, (said) it would retaliate.”

The campus has around 700 students enrolled and is a part of the US-based Laureate International Universities, which operates in over 20 countries.

Irish colleges owe students millions

Student to sue uni for unfair exclusion

NURSING tutors at the University of Surrey plan to don disguises to aid their students.

Silicon masks and full costumes will be used in order to give their students more realistic representations of patients with speci�ic symptoms.

It is claimed that this method of teaching will ultimately help students to advance in their studies as well as improving their patient interaction skills and self-con�idence.

Adult care tutor Dr Miklaucich stated: “By creating a real-life learning experience, students have the opportunity to use and practise their skills, such as communication, caring and practical skills.”

It is hoped that the new method, established at CQ University in Australia and named ‘Mask-Ed,’ will play a crucial part in training up to 500 students on nursing degrees, paramedic degrees and training diplomas for operating theatre staff.

A POLISH University has reinstated Jewish doctors’ degrees 75 years after the Nazis rescinded them.

Over 260 academics, mainly Jewish, had their degrees annulled by the Nazis in the run up to World War II. Last Thursday, the University of Wroclaw in Poland reinstated 262 of these degrees, in an event coinciding with holocaust liberation anniversaries.

Descendants of the academics attended a ceremony in Wroclaw, located in the west of Poland, to receive the degrees. Many of the academics were doctors and scientists who �led their home countries and had notable academic careers in Britain, France and the United States.

The University, originally situated in the German city of Breslau, which became Poland’s Wroclaw when the war ended in 1945, no longer exists. It was the universities of Cologne and Wroclaw which prepared a joint statement which denounced the Nazis’ decision to void the degrees.

TEN Irish colleges owe international students millions - between €600 and €6,000 each - due to their closures, which have “severely damaged Ireland’s reputation abroad.”

Many of the affected students paid up-front fees and arrived in Ireland only to discover that their college had closed before they arrived.

Many colleges took fees before the students had obtained their visas and failed to return the money.

It is estimated that at least 550 students lost money without attending a single class.

A CHINESE student is reportedly suing his university after being expelled for having the non-contagious blood disorder haemophilia.

The student is demanding that the China Institute of Industrial Relations reverses the decision to exclude him. The 21-yearold has haemophilia, which affects the body’s ability to clot and is an inherited condition. It leaves sufferers susceptible to heavy blood loss after injuries or internal bleeding.

His lawyer, Wang Qiushi, informed the press that the case marked China’s �irst “education discrimination over rare diseases” case.

China has a history of allowing discrimination against people with inherited disease.

Surrey nursing tutors to dress up

Stories contributed by: Emily Kerr and Beatrice Wood, News Team

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Nottingham drops creative writing STUDENTS were left in uproar after Nottingham University decided to close their BA Professional Creative Writing course following the departure of Nicola Valentine, the course leader.

On Christmas Eve, current students were noti�ied that their course was no longer taking applications and prospective students were left with an additional application place on their UCAS forms.

The move to discontinue the course has been met with severe criticism, particularly in light of Nottingham’s recent bid for the status of ‘UNESCO City of Literature.’

Valentine commented that she “gave the University almost six months’ notice” of her leaving.

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Students still waiting on Wellbeing

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• 27% increase in demand last term

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Photo: Edwin Yeung

• Students still face six week waits for treatment • CBT waiting lists exceed six week ‘cap’ Hannah Butler News Editor A YEAR after Exeposé reported excessively long waits at the University’s Wellbeing Centre, concerns remain that mental health support is worryingly inadequate, both at the University - where demand has risen by 27 per cent in one term - and in Exeter itself.

In January 2014, Exeposé revealed the Wellbeing Centre had received emergency funding following dramatic increases in demand. Two new staff members were employed and services were recon�igured to try and meet students’ needs.

However, demand has continued to rise – and last term the centre was forced to close its referral list for Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, after waiting times exceeded the ‘cap’ of four to six weeks. While the list is now reopened, students can still expect waits of up to four weeks for an initial appointment.

I had relapsed with anorexia, and was told they were all booked up for the forseeable future Exeter student Since last year, the Wellbeing Centre has increased use of Single Session Interventions (SSIs) as an “alternative to a longer wait for a series of appoint-

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Waiting times at the University: No waiting list for a

Single Session Intervention (SSI)

2 days for a telephone ‘triage’ (telephone referral appointment)

On the day for an urgent ‘drop-in’ session

up to 6 weeks for intensive and ongoing support

On the NHS in Devon: 2 to 3 weeks

for an initial assessment

Up to 3 months for high-intensity therapy

ments.” For urgent support, on-theday ‘drop in’ sessions have been introduced, alongside a telephone ‘triage’ providing “immediate advice.”

Students have praised the support currently offered. Describing the services as “vastly superior compared to my previous university,” one student said: “I have really felt that most of the staff and my lecturers are on my side.”

We have experienced a signi�icant increase in demand Mark Sawyer, Head of Wellbeing Another student described his four weeks of CBT as “well laid-out,” saying that he “discussed things properly and it wasn’t a waste of time,” while a student who waited around two weeks for a one-off session last term said the service was “really helpful, prompt and easy to get hold of.”

However, as waiting times for ongoing treatment remain high, concerns have been raised that not enough has been done in the past year.

One student told Exeposé: “I went to book an appointment in the October just gone as I had relapsed with anorexia, and was given a phone appointment only to be told that they were all booked up for the foreseeable future. By Christmas I still hadn’t heard anything and my situation had deteriorated signi�icantly.”

Others have reported waiting

times of four to six weeks for treatment, while one student said: “This year I haven’t even been referred, as she said it will take ‘so long’ she has instead put me through the NHS.”

“My problems sounded too dif�icult;” “Devastating consequences;” “Working yourself to the bone.” Comment Page 9

“We have experienced a signi�icant increase in demand from students who have chronic and complex needs,” said Mark Sawyer, Head of Wellbeing. He continued: “the increased demand has resulted in waiting times of up to six weeks.”

A University spokesperson said: “the University is doing all it can to

facilitate swifter access to the service.

“New students are made aware of all the support services available,” they stated, adding: “These include local GP surgeries, Residence Life teams, the Chaplaincy, the Guild and Voice as well as the Wellbeing Centre.

“Other HEIs are reporting a similar pattern of increased demand, and in wider society there is an upwards trend of young people seeking support from mental health services.”

The University was unable to comment on whether funding would be increased again to cope with demand, stating: “we are currently in the planning process for 2015/16.”

Kate Hawkins, VP Welfare and Diversity, said: “I am keen to hear students’ experiences of the service

which will inform my ongoing work with the University to ensure wellbeing services continue to improve.”

Ben Bradshaw, Exeter’s Labour MP, told Exeposé: “it’s very important students have good access to mental health services” adding: “the transition to University can be a dif�icult or challenging time for some” “I applaud the University for having a Wellbeing Centre,” commented Councillor Kevin Mitchell. “The University are ahead of society in general by recognising the need for improving access to mental health services.”

However, he noted: “the University has expanded its student numbers dramatically over the past few years and the welfare services it provides need to be �it for purpose.”

options elsewhere are not good.”

A mental health practitioner in the Devon Partnership NHS Trust told Exeposé that most people referred are assessed within two or three weeks.

away. The whole thing is about taking your time.”

Andy Stapley, Student Health Centre Manager con�irmed that the rise in demand at Exeter “certainly re�lects the national trend.” He noted: “mental health awareness campaigns run both locally and nationally are very successful,” adding: “governments tend to be slow to react and the resource needed to cater for increased demand simply isn’t always there,” Ben Bradshaw told Exeposé he has been “campaigning very hard for improvements” to Devon’s mental health service. He stated that services “in Devon in particular are in crisis,” stressing: “It is vital that mental health problems are addressed quickly because if they’re not they can escalate into a major health crisis for the person affected.”

“Very little help” available in Exeter When waiting lists exceed four to six weeks, Wellbeing now “signposts” students to local services including the NHS Depression and Anxiety Service.

Yet waits for these services have also proven worryingly high - prompting fears that Devon’s mental health services cannot meet demand.

I have been put on an eight month waiting list and have essentially been left on my own Exeter student

One student who was signposted told Exeposé: “I have been put on an eight month waiting list for therapy and have essentially been left on my own.” Labelling local eating disorder services “appalling,” she said: “there is

very little help” available.

Another called CBT waiting lists “incredibly long,” explaining: “I had an initial assessment in March but didn’t receive any kind of support until August, and even then it was only with a trainee for about four sessions.”

“The Health Centre didn’t refer me to Wellbeing because of the wait, but things outside the University seem just as bad,” commented one student.

“Three weeks after my referral I �inally got an appointment, but I’m now facing a three month wait for therapy.

When you’re struggling to keep things together on a day-to-day basis, three months is unthinkably long.”

One student facing a wait of up to another month for treatment noted: “it makes the need for a proper and wellresourced Wellbeing service within the University all the more vital, as the

Services in Devon are in crisis Ben Bradshaw, Exeter MP When low-intensity CBT is prescribed, therapy often begins straightaway. However, if high-intensity CBT is needed – for complex cases including serious depression - patients can wait up to three months for treatment.

“But what do people expect?” he asked. “The thing about psychological treatment is that it takes time,” he explained. “Even when you start seeing a therapist you won’t get better straight

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16 viewings in a day as “high demand” for housing continues Hannah Butler News Editor

PROPERTY owners in Exeter have reported “surprising” numbers of viewing and letting requests in the wake of last month’s Housing Fair, suggesting demand for housing is increasing.

Deborah and David Lister, owners of two houses on Exeter’s Clinton Avenue, told Exeposé they received 22 requests to view the properties after the Housing Fair, which took place in the Great Hall on Tuesday 13 January.

To minimise disruption for current tenants, the pair chose to hold an open day – and of the 16 viewings conducted, 14 groups con�irmed they wished to take on a property.

“It was very dif�icult to choose amongst the groups,” they explained.

“There is a high demand for wellpriced decent accommodation. We have had more groups this year wanting to take on our two houses than after last year’s accommodation fair.”

However, noting that most groups “said they had seen some pretty grotty accommodation,” they added: “It may be the lack of quality accommodation that is driving an increased search to �ind something acceptable rather than lack of volume.”

Most groups said they had seen some pretty grotty accommodation Deb and David Lister, Landlords

BOOKS 30-31

ARTS 33-35

GAMES & TECH

38-41

SPORT 42-44

2 FEBRUARY 2015 |

EXEPOSÉ

Photo: Josh Creek

erty on Monks Road, conducted 12 viewings on the evening of the Fair.

Supply does seem to be tighter this year Jacky Cottee, Landlord “We were surprised not just by how many viewings were generated by the fair, but also how many of those groups came forward wanting to take the house,” she commented. adding: “It was a shame to have to disappoint so many people.”

“We have always supported the “Don’t Rush” campaign and I have told students that there is enough accommodation out there, but supply does seem to be tighter this year than in recent years,” she told Exeposé.

Kate Hawkins, VP Welfare & Diversity, said: “The Housing Fair was extremely busy and I was glad to see that so many students had waited until January to start house hunting.

I will continue to encourage Exeter’s landlords to sign up to the AFS/

Unipol accreditation scheme and will work with them to support students to �ind good quality, affordable accommodation. For those students who are still viewing properties, the Students’ Guild Advice Unit contract checking service is available for free.”

Funding fears for Uni Exeter to become first University of Sanctuary? after general election Jacky Cottee, who owns a prop-

Gemma Joyce Editor

AN email sent to staff on 28 January has set out details of the University’s plans in the face of possible funding cuts after the general election.

The email was sent a week after Exeposé revealed that University debt had reached over £200million and follows Ed Miliband’s recently announced proposals to reduce tuition fees by £3,000.

Photo: Emma Finlinson

Emily Leahy News Editor A STUDENT IDEA has been put forward to make Exeter a “University of Sanctuary.”

The scheme is part of the wider “City of Sanctuary” project, which aims to makes cities across the UK welcoming and safe places for refugees.

Laura Nettleton, Vice President of Be The Change society, outlined the need for the project. sying: “When refugees �irst arrive in a country they can �ind even the simplest things overwhelming, and this movement aims to help them with all aspects of their lives to help them through these day to day struggles.”

Speaking to Exeposé, Emma Finlinson, Project Coordinator of City of Sanctuary Exeter, said: “We want to

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offer students a chance to engage with refugees in the wider society and help make the city a more welcoming and integrating place for refugees.”

She added: “as the University is such a huge part of Exeter we feel getting the Guild on board would be a big step to helping Exeter achieve a city of sanctuary status.”

With societies such as Be The Change, Amnesty, British Red Cross and STAR already on board, the campaign hopes to gain further traction through the Student Ideas process.

When we went to press the Student Idea had 73 per cent voting they ‘strongly agreed’ with the idea, 12 per cent voting ‘agree,’ one per cent voting ‘neutral,’ seven per cent voting ‘disagree’, four per cent voting ‘strongly disagree’ and three per cent voting ‘confused.’ 73 votes had been cast.

Finlinson said: “With the Student Guild on board we could really push to help make Exeter the �irst University of Sanctuary, an educating body where students, administrators and educators are aware of issues and can offer support and education to those on campus and in the wider city to help refugees and asylum seekers in Exeter.

“We already have students involved putting on a series of talks, and trying to provide support to detainees in the Verne immigration detention centre in Weymouth.”

Matt Bate, VP Activities said: “Exeter is a diverse and vibrant university and the proposal to make Exeter the �irst ‘University of Sanctuary’ is a wonderful example of students taking responsibility for creating a welcoming environment for all. I look forward to the discussion at Guild Council.”

- Refugee Support Devon and Be the Change Society will be hosting a series of talks around Exeter in the coming weeks - Speakers include University lecturers Dr Nick Gill and Prof Mick Dumper, Oxford lecturer Professor Mary Bosworth. and National Coordinator of the City of Sanctuary Project, Tiffy Allen

Whatever happens politically over the next few months funding will be under considerable pressure Janice Kay, University Provost The email, seen by Exeposé and sent by Provost Janice Kay, said: “It is clear that whatever happens politically over the next few months funding will be under considerable pressure for the foreseeable future and we must prepare for that eventuality.”

The University’s “new strategy to 2025” will incorporate the recently established ‘Exeter Transformation Board,’ tasked with ensuring “all projects meet the needs of the University’s strategic aim of becoming a global top 100 University” while improving “resilience against changes in the external environment.”

Part of the project aims “to decrease our dependency on undergraduate student numbers,” a topic

that has proven controversial in recent months following claims the University is enrolling too many undergraduate students, increasing pressure on study spaces and causing the extension to the teaching day.

Exeter vice-chancellor Sir Steve Smith attracted national attention recently after he expressed concerns at Miliband’s proposals to cut tuition fees to £6,000, claiming the Labour leader should �irst prove where the money will come from. Smith has been vocal in his view that tuition fees should rise at least with levels of in�lation and last year sought ways to increase them at Exeter. Labour’s move could threaten the University’s funding from undergraduate tuition fees.

Ben Street, VP Education, said: “It is clear from the current political climate in the build up to the general election that the future of higher education is still uncertain. Whilst it is clear that the government and universities are working towards a solution, it is absolutely essential that students are able to take part in these conversations and are given the opportunity to shape the future of higher education.”

A University spokesperson commented: “There is obviously pressure in all areas of public �inances including Higher Education. We are con�ident that our consistently strong performance in recent years together with our clear future strategy will not only ful�il our ambition to be in the Global Top 100 but make us resilient to any changes in the external environment.”

EXEPOSÉ

University “forced” academic into early retirement following royal criticism EXCLUSIVE

Gemma Joyce Editor AN ex-Exeter academic who claims he was forced into early retirement by the University after Prince Charles tried to “silence” him has spoken to Exeposé about the ill-treatment he suffered while under investigation by Vice Chancellor, Sir Steve Smith.

Professor Edzard Ernst, who set up the UK’s �irst chair in complementary medicine at Exeter in 1993, sparked controversy after he publicly condemned a draft of a report on alternative medicine commissioned by Prince Charles. This prompted the royal’s First Private Secretary at the time to write to Exeter’s Vice Chancellor in September 2005 alleging that the academic had broken con�idence over the report which was yet to be reviewed and published. What followed was what Ernst describes as a “full and truly unpleasant investigation which lasted 13 months and during which I felt like I was being treated as guilty until proven innocent.”

My team were very badly treated indeed Professor Edzard Ernst

During the investigation, Ernst claims he was subjected to an intensive cross-examination process and that his team “was very badly treated

indeed.” According to the professor, his Dean offended his academic freedom after he expressed concern that Ernst’s unit attracted too much media attention and instructed him that all major press interaction had, in future, to be seen by him before it was released. Ernst ignored the instruction. Speaking to journalists in London recently, he also alleges that his line manager told him “I know we’re treating you like sh**.”

DESPITE extensive reviews of University policy after concerning staff survey results in 2012, eight bullying and harassment complaints were made by Exeter staff members last year.

15 bullying and harassment complaints have been made by staff and students in the past three years. 13 of these were against staff members, and seven resulted in a staff member facing disciplinary action. Two students have also faced disciplinary action following complaints made against them.

Students and staff who feel bullied or harassed are advised to contact the

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Photo: The Guardian

I have no idea whether the VC felt he needed to earn his knighthood Professor Edzard Ernst

Ernst claims that the University signed a contract that committed them to raise 1.5 million pounds towards his research, yet never ful�illed the pledge.

He said “This allowed them to discontinue contracts, dissolve my unit and force me into early retirement.”

At the conclusion of the investigation the Vice Chancellor informed Ernst, in what he describes “a most arrogant tone,” that no disciplinary action was warranted. In Ernst’s latest book, A Scientist in Wonderland, he alleges “Even while acknowledging that I had not been guilty of any misdemeanour, my Vice Chancellor had issued an unambiguous warning to me: if I even thought of applying my personal ethical standards in any similar situation in the future, I would not be so lucky as to get away with it again.”

Staff bullying complaints on the increase Hannah Butler News Editor

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University’s Dignity and Respect Advisers – volunteers providing informal support and advice. Last year marked a dramatic increase in demand for support, with 46 cases recorded compared with just 22 in 2011/12.

Helen Booker, Equality and Diversity Administrator, stressed that this increase “may be due to an increased awareness of the support mechanisms available,” describing this as “a positive outcome because we can ensure people are receiving appropriate support and advice.”

The number of advisors has more than doubled since 2011, with 23 staff members now trained in the role. This follows a comprehensive review of the

Asked why he thought the Vice Chancellor had issued such a warning, Ernst said “I have no idea whether the VC felt he needed to earn his knighthood, whether I had annoyed my peers more generally because I had repeatedly insisted that they meet their commitment towards raising research funds for my team, or whether the VC even thought that with his odd behaviour he was merely following proper

University’s Protection of Dignity at Work and Study policy carried out after the 2012 Staff Opinion Survey.

In the wake of the survey, an internal report found staff allegedly facing “undue stress,” “bullying,” sexism and a “loss of voice” at the University, identifying a “top-down management” culture as the cause of many issues.

Kate Hawkins, VP Welfare and Diversity, commented: “The growth of the Dignity and Respect Adviser network has been positive in recent years, providing staff and students with additional support.”

Yet in a staff survey carried out in April last year, only 57 per cent of respondents said they felt “valued by the University” while 39 per cent revealed they had often thought about leaving.

88 per cent described the University as a “good place to work” and 92 per cent felt “safe and secure” in their working environment - yet 34 per cent reported feeling “unduly stressed at work,” 12 per cent had felt discriminated against in the past year, and four per cent said they were “currently be-

procedure.”

Ernst describes his �irst ten years at Exeter as “all I and my team could have wished for” but adds that “it all seemed to change after HRH had taken the unprecedented step to interfere in British academia in the way he did.”

Both the University and Clarence House have declined to comment on Ernst’s allegations.

Clarence House added only that

ing harassed or bullied at work.”

Philip Hensher, a former creative writing professor who left the University in 2012, told Exeposé: “During the seven years I worked at Exeter University, I observed a serious problem with bullying and a troubling misuse of anti-bullying measures by people in charge. It would be a matter of great concern if those who brought the university into disrepute and lost a good amount of talent through their behaviour were able to continue their har-

“The Prince of Wales believes in combining the best of evidence-based, conventional medicine with an holistic approach to healthcare – treating the whole person rather than just the symptoms of disease and taking into account the effects on health of factors such as lifestyle, the environment and emotional well-being. His Royal Highness is Patron of over 30 healthcare organisations.”

assment of minorities and junior staff without abatement.”

Kate Hawkins said: “The Students’ Guild takes bullying and harassment very seriously and I would encourage any student experiencing these problems to come forward. All our Advice Unit advisers are af�iliated to the Dignity and Respect network and the Guild will continue to strive towards a safe and respectful environment for us all.”

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8 complaints by staff last year alone... ... and 7 complaints by students since 2011/12

110 cases of informal support being given since 2011/12 7 staff members and 2 students facing disciplinary procedures

34% of staff have felt “unduly stressed at work” 12% have felt discriminated against 4% are being “harassed or bullied at work”

Taken for a (first class) ride o

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SPECIAL REPORT

Harrison Jones & Emily Leahy Editor & News Editor RESEARCH by Exeposé has revealed that the University’s top ten earners claimed £61,160 in expenses in 2014.

The Vice-Chancellor and highest earner, Sir Steve Smith, had formal expenses totalling £0, meaning the remaining nine members of staff, who are paid over £180,000 on average, claimed an average of £6,795.65 each.

However, whilst the University’s response to an Exeposé Freedom Of Information (FOI) request showed that Smith claimed nothing, this is thought to only be because they are not formally recorded in the same way as other staff and his actual costs are paid for by other teams.

“Where are your tuition fees going?” Editorial; “Our angelic staff” Cartoon Page 8

From the remaining nine staff’s 800 claims, £10,087 was spent on �irst class rail tickets, despite the University’s Expenses and Purchasing Card Policy stating: “business class/ �irst class travel is not permitted other than in exceptional circumstances and with prior approval from a senior manager within the College or Service.” Five of the aforementioned staff made 112 �irst class train journeys between them and one claimed back a business class �light.

The group of ten, who are all on six �igure salaries, also made six ‘minor’ claims (up to £1), including an 87p “subsistence” claim by a person earning £142,800.

Another employee earning £283,936 claimed 68p for mileage.

The same individual made four of the six minor claims and travelled �irst class on 34 occasions at the University’s expense, totalling over £4,000.

£290,000

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£283,936

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They claimed the second highest amount of the top ten earners last year, behind one staff member earning £147,000, who claimed over £12,000 overall.

Exeter have claimed that staff were given no “perks/bene�its/other parts of a payment ‘package’” but it is unclear whether this is classed in the same bracket as “emoluments,” which saw Smith given a £58,000 “performance related remuneration” and £52,000 “pension contributions to USS” the previous year. His latest full emoluments – and presumably those for the other nine staff – are yet to be decided.

There were claims by the nine other staff for a “business class �light,” “accommodation - London,” “equipment,” “hospitality - other” and “student related expenditure,” costing £2,513, £1,725, £1,514.75, £1,494 and £1,109 respectively.

Other notable entries include “overnight stay friends/relatives,” “gifts/cards” and “stationary,” all of which occurred more than once.

The University’s policy on claiming expenses covers “a contribution towards costs if an employee stays overnight with friends, relatives or colleagues. This may include a modest gift or restaurant meal, but not a cash payment.”

According to the guidelines, which apply to all members of staff at the University, employees can only have funds reimbursed when “expenditure is incurred wholly, exclusively and necessarily in the course of the University’s business.” Claims must be made “within three months of the expenditure being incurred,” and in all cases except mileage, “claims must be made supported by receipts.”

Overall spending on expenses for all staff last year exceeded £3 million.

A University of Exeter spokesman said: “The University employs a robust policy to govern expenditure by all staff members, which ensures

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that any expenses incurred while conducting business on behalf of the University are both justi�ied and proportionate. All claims are subject to stringent checks before they are reimbursed and a rigorous approval process including scrutiny from line management, the accounts department and the �inance team.

The Vice Chancellor’s diary is managed centrally... There is therefore no requirement for him to recoup expenses via the University system University Spokesperson “As a top-ten University with a strong global standing, Exeter ben-

e�its from a burgeoning international research base, as well as an expanding network of worldwide partnerships. In order to cultivate and extend these networks, it is necessary for staff to undertake both domestic and international travel.

“While the vast majority of travel conducted by staff members is in standard class, there may be some occasions where �irst class travel is required to allow for a more con�idential working environment while travelling. However, the amount of �irst class travel remains minimal in comparison to standard class travel across the University.”

On Smith’s expenses, the University added: “The Vice-Chancellor’s diary is managed centrally, and his travel and accommodation booked and paid for in advance through central booking systems. There is, therefore,

Top 10 earners’ basic salaries

£175,967

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£151,000

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8 2

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Their expenses

£142,800

£147,000

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Any organisation incurs expenses but, in the spirit of �inancial ef�iciency, the Guild would encourage a prudent approach Rachael Gillies, Guild President Rachael Gillies, Guild President, commented: “Any organisation incurs expenses in the delivery of its operations but, in the spirit of �inancial ef�iciency, the Students’ Guild would always support and encourage a prudent approach to expenses to ensure that money is spent as wisely as possible.”

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no requirement for him to recoup expenses via the University expenses system.”

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Steve Smith’s income 2013/14

Salary:

£290k VC earned an additional: ‘Performance related remuneration’ :

£58,000 + Pension: £52,000 = +

£400,000 Costs: ?

NEWS

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7

‘Sugar Baby’ boom for Exeter Nicola Dash�ield News Team THE UNIVERSITY OF EXETER has been named the �ifth fastest growing Sugar Baby School of 2015.

Last year 106 Exeter students signed up to SeekingArrangement. com – the world’s largest online-dating website that matches wealthy benefactors seeking “mutually bene�icial relationships” with attractive members. This represents a 42 per cent growth in the amount of Exeter student sign ups from the previous year.

So far, 1.4 million students have registered with the site and the University of Westminster ranks �irst with 180 new sign ups in 2014.

According to SeekingArrangement.com, a lack of �inances caused by rising tuition fees is a contributing factor to new sign-ups. The site even of-

fers students free premium memberships to promote the “Sugar lifestyle.”

Angela Bermudo, EU Spokesperson for SeekingArrangement, offers a response to those who say there are other ways to pay for tuition fees.

“True, they can do it the hard way, but why struggle when there are people who are happy to help?” she says.

Why struggle when there are people who are happy to help?

Angela Bermudo, SeekingArrangement EU Spokesperson The average student Sugar Baby in the UK receives a monthly allowance of £3,100, which is £15,000 more per year than the average starting graduate salary of £21,702.

Brandon Wade, Founder and CEO of SeekingArrangement.com, says there can be bene�its for Sugar Babies beyond �inancial stability at university, especially “at a time when graduates are guaranteed debt rather than a well-paying job.”

He added: “Sugaring not only aids in the cost of pursuing an education, but a large majority of these men and women will have a more solid �inancial situation upon graduation - maybe even a job.”

É

- The site has 700,000 “Sugar Daddies and Mommas” and 2.3 million Sugar Babies - University of Westminster ranked first with 180 new sign ups - 106 new Exeter students signed up last year

NUS campaign money ends up in Guild staff member account Vanessa Tracey Deputy Editor

MONEY to be refunded to a student was accidentally transferred to a Guild staff member, leaving them without the money for a number of weeks.

The student originally paid all expenses for the NO campaign during the referendum regarding disaf�iliation from the NUS. The claim was initially made in the �inal week of last term before the student noticed that the money was not returned over Christmas. After an enquiry this term they were told that

the money was paid into a Guild member of staff’s account instead of their own. The mistake was recti�ied on the same day and the student got the full sum back.

This clerical error was recti�ied as quickly as possible and the Students’ Guild apologises sincerely Rachel Gillies Guild President The Guild con�irmed this mistake,

insisting it was an error made by a member of staff in the �inance department.

Rachael Gillies, Guild President stated: “this clerical error was recti�ied as quickly as possible and the Students’ Guild apologises sincerely for any inconvenience caused.”

Students can propose campaigns and changes to the Student’s Guild via the Student Ideas page. The maximum budget that can be allocated to a Student Idea is £150, which is subsequently divided by each motion.

Hospicecare Chief awarded honorary degree by Chancellor Theodore Stone News Team

THE UNIVERSITY OF EXETER has awarded Glynis Atherton, Chief Executive of Hospicecare, with an honorary Doctorate of Laws.

It was presented to her by the Chancellor of the University, Floella Benjamin, at the 2015 Winter Graduation Ceremony.

Glynis Atherton graduated from Swansea University with a politics degree before starting her career in the voluntary sector. After a post in the London Housing Period and a period of running a national coalition of community organisations whilst raising her children, she held the post of county director for Victim Support in Northamptonshire.

Following this, she was a senior manager at the Motor Neurone Disease Association, during which she completed an MBA via the Open University, later securing Institute of Director professional quali�ications. She joined Hospicecare in 2006.

Hospicecare, which is based in Ex-

eter, retains a fruitful relationship with the University, who began to support the company in 2012 and has so far helped to raise over £40,000 for the charity.

Speaking to the Express & Echo, Glynis Atherton proclaimed that she was “delighted” with the honour.

Photo: Exeter Express and Echo

on expenses EXEPOSÉ

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COMMENT EDITORIAL

Using your fees fare-ly?

APOLOGIES for the lateness of our issue; the Uni didn’t like it much the �irst time. We personally think there was nothing wrong with our old front page (that’s our opinion, Mr Expensive University Lawyer) but we’ve reluctantly changed it just in case they did actually try to sue their own Students’ Guild.

Many will argue that forking out on expenses is necessary, others that we have sensationalised the issue or that it’s probably worse at other universities. There are, perhaps, elements of truth to each: clearly, staff need to travel to events, buy relevant equipment or food and maybe £3 million is a reasonable overall expenses �igure for an institution employing so many staff.

Yet, such arguments fail to deal with the underlying issues. Is £12,600 worth of luxury travel, or £1,514 on “equipment” an essential part of the upkeep of our University’s reputation?

Are you ok with someone on £283,936 a year taking the time to claim a petty mileage fee of 68p?

When asked for Sir Steve Smith’s expenses, the University claimed he didn’t make any because his diary is managed centrally - separate from normal employee procedures. We’ve subsequently asked for details from the mysterious central diaries. Hopefully, that eagerly awaited reply will arrive as quickly as the lightning response to our front page tweet on Monday, but somehow we expect normal (third-class) service to resume.

Meanwhile, Sir Steve’s total “emoluments” - to use the Uni’s obscure semantics - is clearly a sensitive topic, but what’s just as irritating as the exorbitant pay package is the facade of transparency. When asked about the VC’s total income this year, we were sent a link to last year’s �inancial statement where, buried on page 29, was the fact that he was given a further £52,000 in pension contributions and a £58,000 bonus, on top of his £290,000 salary.

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Congratulations Steve, maybe we can throw you a party like Bath did, if you get a similar bonus this year. The nine other top earners’ would-be bonuses are unknown, but if they were anything like the VC’s, you could forgive ‘ordinary’ staff for being unimpressed.

Indeed, when you put the top 10’s earnings and expenses �igures in the context of poorer members of staff having to strike for fairer pensions, next to students handing over £9,000 each year for an education and alongside the parts of the University which are begging for more resources (the Wellbeing Centre, perhaps) it seems that the term ‘culture of excess’ might be fairly applied to the University top dogs.

Surely they should be taking more time to deal with the real issues at the Uni instead of �iling yet another petty expenses claim. *** One year on from our front page story, little seems to have changed at the Wellbeing Centre (page 3). There’s some improvement, but in many respects, things have only worsened amid higher demand. Waiting times are too long, facilities are stretched and it’s having a hugely detrimental impact on student experience. This isn’t a problem unique to Exeter, but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t be investing all the resources possible into tackling this, one of the biggest issues on campus, effectively and quickly.

Campus is going Sabb crazy, so grab our pull out (pages 23 & 34) for a briefbut-comprehensive guide to all things Guild election. It’s fun, we promise. On the topic of fun, check out Ed Balls’ interview (page 15), more satire (page 17) our new agony aunt (page 19) and Peace (the band that is, pages 35 & 36).

For more serious content, this week’s news is packed with campus controversies. Staff bullying and harassment and Exeter’s Sugar Daddy ranking (pages 5 & 7) are particularly concerning.

Thanks to those who helped proof this issue: Isobel Burston, Sabrina Aziz, Flora Carr, Maria Gomez de Olea, Reuben Grace, Susannah Keogh, Jeremy Brown, Nick Porter, Sophie Lawrence, Joshua Rotchelle, Christy Ku, Theodore Stone, Emily Kerr, Ellie Crisp, Ciara Sutton, Jessica Stanier, Polly Bowden and members of the Exeposé editorial team

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“Students are expected to do too many things at once” Eamonn Crowe Lifestyle Editor

WHENEVER I moan about life (which is a lot), my family often take great pleasure in reminding me that I am not yet in the ‘real world,’ and therefore I obviously have no right to complain.

This is to some extent true. As students, in many ways we do have it a lot easier than real life grown up adults. We don’t pay taxes, we can go out clubbing on weeknights and our faces haven’t yet started to resemble grumpy ballsacks.

However, along with all these bene�its, comes one pretty big disadvantage. From the moment you arrive at Exeter, you are constantly reminded of how much there is to do here and told that you should try and get involved with as many different things as possible. Once we graduate, our lives will most likely revolve around a nine-to�ive job (I’m pretty sure working for that long should be illegal), marriage (if anyone’s insane enough to take me)

and children (God forbid). Whereas at university, we are led to believe that you can, and should, put your �ingers in as many pies as possible, without really having to fully commit to anything.

Uni is amazing, but there is always a sense that we’re not getting the most out of it This is where the problem lies. I believe that as students, we are expected to do far too much all at the same time. After reading an entire novel and two 20-page short stories for my seminar last week, I was genuinely gobsmacked by the seminar leader’s announcement that she now expects us to do all the secondary reading too.

As any student worth their Timepiece goldcard knows, secondary reading is bullshit. It’s like the little plastic lid on a Mc�lurry – pointless and a general inconvenience. So why has that now been added onto my, already in�inite,

list of things to do?

University is amazing - as cringey as it is to say, this probably will be the best time of our lives. But I feel that because we are told that we must do so much, there is always a sense that we’re not quite getting the most out of our experience. We are constantly reminded by our lecturers to ‘put our degrees �irst,’ but are then told by employability of�icers that we should be ‘prioritising work experience’ as well as boosting our CVs with endless society involvement and extra-curricular activity (the Exeter Award anyone?)

And don’t forget also maintaining a social life and trying to keep �it and healthy (curse you ,Pieminister).

I know that compared to working people, students have it ‘easy,’ but we are under an incredible amount of pressure to excel at doing everything all at once, more so than ever now that the economy is fucked (thanks Osborne). The question we must now address is how students are supposed to cope with this pressure, other than by giving up and just taking a nap.

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We’re still waiting: Exeter wellbeing at risk www.exepose.com

“I was told that my problems sounded too “Mental and physical illnesses are equally debilitating and failure dif�icult to be dealt with by the centre” to receive help can have devastating consequences for sufferers” Anonymous Student

WHEN I returned to University for my second year I was in a bad place.

Finding the strength to leave a relationship which had been physically, psychologically and sexually abusive that summer, I was seeking as much support as possible.

I was struggling, feeling incredibly low, with no feeling of self-worth or enthusiasm for anything, never mind academia.

I was encouraged to contact the Wellbeing Centre by concerned friends. Making the initial move to book an appointment took a lot of personal courage, the thought of admitting I needed help, and opening up about my experiences was terrifying.

I was told I would have to wait four weeks until I could have an initial assessment I was told I would have to wait four weeks until I could have an initial assessment. Beside myself that I wouldn’t receive help for such a long time, I went to see a tutor I had a strong relationship with. It took one phone call from her to the centre and suddenly they had space to book me an appointment that same week.

I was grateful but also taken aback that a spot could open so easily

when it was initially made out that the waiting list was so lengthy. For eight weeks I attended weekly counselling and I must say the service did help a lot.

For anyone suffering with issues that are greatly affecting their wellbeing, waiting eight weeks for an appointment is insulting At the start of this current academic year I was still struggling and again reached a point where I thought it was sensible to ask the centre for help. This was in week three and this time I was told I would have to wait a week before an initial assessment by phone.

When that did occur I was told that my problems sounded very complex, maybe too dif�icult to be dealt with by the centre. The comments were not only insensitive (when feeling very low the last thing you want to hear is that you are too complex to deal with) but when I insisted that I would still like to book an appointment I was not contacted until week eleven.

For anyone suffering with issues that are greatly affecting their general wellbeing, waiting eight weeks for an appointment is insulting. The system is too �lawed and unreliable for the people who need it the most.

Alexandra Findlay

IN recent weeks, reports about hospitals failing to meet A&E waiting times have made the national news. Many patients in urgent need of medical help have had to wait over four hours to be seen by a clinician. These reports re�lect my own situation. I too am ill and I am waiting to start a course of treatment which will make me better. I won’t be getting help in less than four hours, I won’t be getting help in the next four months - in fact, I am not set to get help for another eight months.

ing in October, and after a telephone appointment was placed on a waiting list. By December I had completely relapsed and lost a signi�icant amount of weight. But still I had heard nothing. I then sought help from services external to the University. As things stand I am on a waiting list for therapy; I have been told to expect to see someone in around eight months’ time.

My case is just one among millions.

One in four people in the UK will experience some sort of mental health condition each year; anyone at any time can

become ill and yet the resources out there are grossly inadequate. Mental and physical illnesses are equally debilitating - failure to receive help can have devastating, lifelong consequences for the sufferers and those around them.

This is not a criticism of clinicians themselves, it is a desperate plea for a greater understanding of mental health illnesses and for a signi�icant investment in funding for mental health. But I especially implore the University to initiate change for the bene�it of both present and future students.

I implore the University to initiate change for the bene�it of all students This is an illness which I have previously been hospitalised for, and has forced me to take time out of education.

But my case - and thousands like mine - have not been plastered on the news screens of the nation.

Why? In short: because I have anorexia. I have a mental, not physical, health condition. This is an ongoing illness which I have battled with every day for over four years.

In spite of it I managed to get into Exeter and was relieved to see that the Wellbeing Centre was there should I ever need it. At the start of this academic year I found myself beginning to struggle once more. I contacted Wellbe-

>>Exeposé’s investigation a year ago found that the university had been granted emergency funding to address rising pressure on the Wellbeing Centre, including students waiting up to a year for follow-up support

Working yourself to the bone: my exercise addiction Anonymous Student EXERCISE addiction: rarely talked about, damaging and potentially life threatening.

When I recently revealed to one of my closest friends that I was struggling with an exercise addiction she laughed, wishing that we could swap so she could shed a few pounds before the Christmas holidays. But the reality of this illness is far from something you would wish for.

I had failed to realise how sports-orientated Exeter was Arriving at Exeter University in

September I longed for a new start.

Having suffered with an eating disorder for the last �ive years and, more recently, an exercise addiction, I longed to leave this behind me. How naïve could I have been?

Clearly w h e n looking

around the previous year on an Open Day, I had failed to realise how sportsorientated the University of Exeter was. During my �irst term I joined the gym and a few societies, hoping to restrict myself to doing exercise 2-3 times a week and avoid slipping into old habits. However, after getting to know people in my lectures and within the societies, my illness gradually started to make an appearance. The competitive atmosphere around the uni made me

feel like I was never doing enough and I found myself either in the gym or at exercise classes more than twice a day.

I was exhausted.

By the end of the week my body gave up, I could barely get out of bed It all came to a head during January exam week. Under the strain of exams, I was going to bed at 2am and getting up at 4am trying to �it revision around my ever-increasing exercise schedule. Eventually by the end of the week my body gave up and I could barely get out of bed, let alone start up the mountain of Cardiac Hill towards lectures. I ended up extremely miserable and contemplated dropping out.

However, after going home and

receiving some tough love from my family, I returned and am now desperately trying to get myself back on track. Personally, I think there needs to be a lot more emphasis on helping those struggling with an exercise addiction to �ind a healthy balance. A lot of the time individuals can become so obsessed with a goal within their chosen sport that it becomes all that matters - that’s where problems start to arise. Although Exeter is an amazing place for sport and performance, there needs to be more support for those struggling to �ind the right balance.

Exercise addiction is an illness barely discussed, and unless it is explicitly addressed to them, many people including myself are unaware that they are ill. So Exeter, it is time to talk and get people understanding and recognising the signs of when exercise may be taking over your life.

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Sabbs in the dark? Why vote in the ele 38-41

“Even now I know what a Sabb is, I will still not be voting” “The reasons why your vote counts are lite Joshua Rotchelle

AS one of the lowly and grubby masses referred to amongst some circles as freshers, I was a tad baf�led when Sabb week rolled around. Indeed, my �irst thought was that ‘Sabbatical’ referred to the Sabbat, a group of vampires in a role-playing game from my youth.

It took until Thursday for someone to put me right: a slide at the beginning of a lecture informed me of what Sabbs do, and why (apparently) I should vote for them, or even try and run for election myself. Hrrm. Pardon my plebeian perspective, but from this fresher’s point of view, the whole thing seems like a bit of a hard sell.

I just �ind it an incredibly hard pill to swallow when someone says they can make a difference So I should vote for a representative of students, essentially. Err, why?

Because they really make a difference, I am told. The amount of times I have

heard the phrase ‘working closely’ when describing interactions between Sabbs and the head honchos during the past week is obscene. What does that even mean? That they put their desks together and rub noses over the latest referendum?

My �irst thought was that it referred to Sabbat, a group of vampires in a role-playing game from my youth Apparently these Sabbs vote on issues relevant to us students. Do they really? I heard they were the driving force behind the recent ‘puppy room’ project, which more aptly could have been named the ‘disappointment room.’ What about issues really relevant to students, such as, gee, I dunno... the university’s recent timetabling changes? Despite efforts from the Sabbs, that still went through.

And that is the central reason why I, even now knowing what a Sabb is, will not be voting for one. I just �ind it an incredibly hard pill to swallow when someone says they can actually make a difference.

Universities, as my £27,000-indebt wallet will attest to, are fundamentally about money, whether anyone likes (or admits) that or not. As such, they will inevitably do anything they can to increase income, and any silly Sabb that thinks they can get in the way is going to be stonewalled on the double.

I can hear them now: “Let student reps stop timetabling changes, something we are convinced will help us into the top 100? Certainly not! But oh look, they’ve come up with some dogs… how quaint. Let’s let them push that, so they can feel like they’re doing something.”

Representation, my hat. Until you can �ind something to represent my middle � i n g e r, I’m not interested.

Cartoon: Emily McIndoe

Running in the elections

Ben Street VP Education

THIS term it has been amazing to see a noticeable surge in student engagement, both on a national level with the press stressing the power of the youth vote, but also here in Exeter. We’ve witnessed amazing levels of engagement with extra-curricular talks, Research Uncovered, and in particular political events (notably with the Natalie Bennett talk and #JeSuisCharlie vigil). To top that off, our new Student Ideas system has seen such incredible uptake that – as far as we know – we have the best system of its kind in the country for empowering student-led change.

O n e m i g h t theref o r e question the notion that student apathy at Exeter is still an

endemic problem.

However, now we approach the 2015 Sabbatical Election, when every Exeter student has the opportunity to make their voice heard by voting for next year’s sabbatical of�icers.

These individuals have a great deal of power to make signi�icant changes within the University Whether students know who the sabbatical of�icers are or not, these individuals have a great deal of power to make signi�icant changes within the University. They are the voice of the student body. Sabbatical of�icers both present and past have made huge changes to the way the University operates, including the shift to online submission, the introduction of a three week turn around and a restructure of the Wellbeing Centre. These decisions affect thousands of people; not just all current students, but future students, and also all academics and University staff. Furthermore, the Guild President not only chairs the trustee board of the Students’ Guild (the most senior body for all Guild decisions) but sits

Teach First, ask ques Harriet Browning Exeter Graduate

I WANTED to be part of Teach First since my opening year at university.

Far from impacting my studies, the application process made my third year much easier - it helped me to know I was going somewhere with my degree and not just studying for the sake of it.

That said, I did have quite a few application forms to �ill in and interviews to go to. Even though this was stressful, it was really good to see ‘the light at the end of the tunnel’ - that all my hard work would get me to my dream job: teaching kids (that hate me) their favourite subject, Maths.

In terms of how it’s panned out since graduation, I did end up going to a summer institute over the break, visiting schools in Bristol for a six week period (out of my last ever summer holiday before real life). But even with the added commitment, I managed to get a month off before starting work. And it turned out to be worth sacri�icing that sacred last holiday, as

I met a load of new people and started studying something completely different from my degree. It really helped motivate me to achieve in my career - most of us wouldn’t be where we are today without encouraging. teachers.

A graduate scheme will give you a taste of the real world and help you get out of the Exeter bubble, onto whatever track you want Leaving the uni bubble for good, I started work on 1 September at Merchants Academy in Bristol. My biggest worry was everyone thinking I was just a child and not ready for a career yet - including myself. And in the �irst few weeks you do really get a reality slap, but in a good way - you’re doing something rewarding, and can clearly see the bene�its of all your hard work.

I’m still a student effectively, so I get loads of support from different

EXEPOSÉ

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erally all around you”

on University Council, the only body in the University that can hold Sir Steve Smith and all the University’s aims and ambitions to account.

For these reasons, and more, it is incredibly important to think before you vote in the Sabbatical Election.

Consider who the candidates with the best policies are, not simply those who seem most popular. Vote for a Sabb on the nature of their character rather than just their campaign - in order to be effective, Sabbs need to maintain a positive working relationship with senior University �igures.

Simply being antagonistic and oppositional is not enough.

The reasons why you should vote are all around you. The new student facilities in DH1, the sustained low price of a sandwich in the Guild Shop, and the streetlights that keep you safe on your walk home are all things achieved by Exeter sabbs for students.

I urge you to vote because, far from student apathy, we at Exeter are proud to have one of the best voter turnouts in student elections nationwide. The Sabbatical Election is your chance to ask for change. Voting is the simplest political act, but one that has a bigger impact upon your student experience than you may at �irst think.

stions later

tutors at the University, as well as the school, who have been really helpful up until now. Sure, the job is tiring and stressful - especially compared to university. Imagine dealing with 100 news things all at once? But it’s made me really appreciate all the hard work anyone has ever done for me, or when someone goes out of their way to help me out.

Teach First schools are tough, and the students need a good teacher who is positive and enjoys teaching. But even writing this I’m already getting nostalgic about my students - they motivate me to get up on dark rainy days.

Having something to do straight after university - something to aim for and be excited about - really helped me focus in my third year, probably helping me in leaving Exeter with a �irst in maths. But also, a graduate scheme doesn’t force you into doing that job forever. It will give you a taste of real life and help you get out of the Exeter bubble, onto whatever track you want.

Best of luck!

Let’s get quizzical COMMENT

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11

Exeposé Comment guide you through your campaign week

START

You attend one of the debates. Do you: A) Get hypnotised by the repetitive rhythm of the rhetoric, fall asleep and have an unsettling dream full of puppies, careening down water slides and barking phrases like ‘closely with staff ’, ‘work tirelessly’ and ‘YOUR voice.’

B) You get so into it that you damage the arms of your seat. After asking 12 questions you have to be escorted out. You’re quivering.

You read Exeposé’s Sabb Elections Guide and assess the candidates’ manifestos. They make you feel: A) Somewhere in-between slightly sick and achingly bored. You throw it away and vow never to read the paper ever again.

B) Exhilarated. These faces are deserved stars and you will follow their campaigns with bated breath.

Quickly you memorise all of their names and add them on Facebook.

It’s peak time for campaigning, but you’ve got a lecture. Do you: A) Sack it off. Something about the prospect of a forum heaving with campaigners makes that two hour class seem even less appealing.

B) Face the hordes. If they start affecting your education, then they’ve basically WON. You quickly regret it.

Despite promising yourself you would avoid campus all week, your library book is recalled. On campus you: A) Can’t navigate the flow of campaigners. It all starts to build up. Some kind of publicity stunt in the Forum involving loads of fruit and Barry White reminds you of a bad childhood memory and you flee, shrieking uncontrollably.

B) Take the long ways round and avoid human beings. But your ninja stealth loses out and you’re cornered.

You wake up on the floor, where unnoticed by them you hear some prospective candidates conspiring against their fellows. Do you: A) Shout ‘Boo!’ and stroll out, feeling smugly misanthropic. Maybe later you’ll write something clever on your wordpress. No one will read it.

B) Sit tight. Once the details unfold you realise that you might have the upper hand. This is a game and you might just want to be a player.

Your mate is running for one of the VP positions and asks you to join their campaign. Do you: A) Flip out. OMG yeh! You relish the opportunity of labour-intensive electioneering for your old coursemate’s ex’s cousin from that time in Freshers’ Week. Plus, you have that wicked hat with a propeller on that will probably make you stand out.

B) Diplomatically explain that you’ve had to decline several requests already because several of your many good friends are all running, and your seven committee roles can’t wait. Your effortless charm carries you through and a year later...

You’re one of them - campaigning on Forum Hill. No flyers this year, but that doesn’t stop you. Do you: A) Unquestioningly wear the most grossly inappropriate clothing so that your bezzy mate can prosper.

You are a totally exquisite footstool, and proud of it.

B) Totally get this - it’s a slow game. You scratch the right backs and use your campaign team to get your own face out there. You quickly get to grips with how the spin and the politics work and a year later...

You’ve been harangued by one too many costumed campaigners with broken smiles. A breakdown beckons. How do you deal with it?

A) Take a chill pill man, no biggie, rise above it.

B) You straight up lose it. Your constant and violently vocal frustration with campaigning actually becomes its own campaign of terror, and fearing their own safety all the candidates pull out. Ironically, considering your hate of this ‘f***ing popularity contest bulls**t’, you become infamous. Rather than dare feed the fire of your ire by re-opening elections, the Guild nominate you last minute and by default...

You end up running yourself. What’s your campaign strategy?

A) You’ve been living your campaign strategy for two and half years at a uni where everyone knows your name. Plus your surname rhymes with ‘winner’ so it’s a shoo-in.

B) LIKE, SOMETHING WITH RABBITS WEARING HATS!? It doesn’t catch on.

But it’s all about the taking part, right?

You cry in Arena in front of everyone.

Photos: Edwin Yeung

How did you face up to the chaos?

YOU finish the week in A&E after a campaigner dressed as a giant octopus trips you over the stairs up to Queens.

You aren’t cut out for these elections your mother always told you that you were a useless waif. You resolve to stay indoors next year. The elections are all too similar to that movie The Purge where everyone murders each other in inventive ways. The thought gets your heart racing again. As a matter of fact, it’s probably best to avoid campus for Freshers’ Week too. And graduation.

And exams. Try the Open University, or become a librarian.

YOU’VE managed to pull through with the appropriate mixture of detached cool and contempt. Congratulations, you’re the only one not injured, irritating or stuck on campus for another year.

You didn’t avoid campus completely, but sensibly walked to lectures via backroutes. None of your closest friends ran, so you weren’t asked to join anyone’s campaign team - no one even engaged you in conversation about Sabbs because they detected your blasé superiority.

Go celebrate in Cavern or rewatch True Detective on your proxied US Netflix, you bloody trooper.

Exeposé Comment accepts no responsibility for self-fulfilling prophecies YOU become Guild President. You’re forced into a year of living in a glass box on campus while your friends all get proper jobs. Still, the perks are decent and you achieve a level of popularity which actually exempts you from BNOC lists - that’s how hot you are, you’re undisputedly above the biggest names on campus. You’re solid gold, you’re basically Optimus Prime. You smugly rework your Facebook profile so that your old school bullies know how much of a big shot you are now. It’s all sipping Chandon and cruising in your Benzo from now on. Wait, what manifesto points?

ALL ur frenz b-cum Sabbs - totes amazeballs! Those seventy hours you spent hassling people on Forum Hill really paid off. Now you can brag to anyone who will listen about how your BEST MATES are at the top of the chain. I mean, everyone knows the elections are a popularity contest, which means that as friends of the Sabbs, you are by proxy the waviest BNOC dood in town. You can comfortably stroll through the Guild corridor shooting thumbs at IT and Finance, even though they all secretly know you’re not even in any societies or anything. Get a hobby.

12

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Rory Morgan and Emma Thomas, Features Editors, chat with NATO’s Jamie Shea about global security, political rhetoric and getting drunk at uni YOU could hardly blame us for feeling a little bit intimidated. Sitting across from us was Jamie Shea, or the Deputy Assistant Secretary General for Emerging Security Challenges for NATO, to be more precise. Jamie has come to the University to give a talk intending to ‘analyse the situation’ of global affairs and answer the question: ‘is it as bad as it looks?’ regarding international security threats.

Shea opens by re�lecting on the three moments that have stood out during his career at NATO. “The �irst thing was when I was the spokesman of NATO back in the ‘90s, in my younger, slimmer days. I had to step up to the plate during the Kosovo crisis when suddenly NATO was under intense media pressure; and this con�lict went on for 78 days, which was 77 days longer than anybody had anticipated.

“The second thing is that I did a lot of work in writing NATO’s new strategic concept back in 2010. Normally when you write this kind of thing it ends up in a waste paper basket, but this time no! It actually got through the NATO bureaucracy and was adopted by the NATO government and is still the basis of NATO strategy.

“The third thing is that for all of my career I have been teaching about NATO in various universities and now many of my former students are ambassadors who are colonels in the armed forces, who are involved in think-tanks and international organisations. I feel that, in a modest way, I have been able to at least ensure that when I pass into that great bureaucratic sky, at least I’ve left a generation of people who are interested in security issues.”

With such a senior representative of NATO sat across from us, we had to ask the obvious question. Should we be worried about another Cold War with Russia?

“I think that the Cold War as we knew it won’t come back for the following reasons: Russia does not have a messianic

ideology like the Soviets had, which was followed by millions of people around the world. Russia is a great power, but it is a lonely great power.

“That said, you could have something that would resemble a mini Cold War. Not globally, but in certain regions where Russia is applying military force. Russia is also heavily dependant on international trade and commerce - much more so than the Soviet Union. My hope is that economic pressures will oblige Russia to come back to a form of more cooperative international behaviour. We may have some stormy weather in the immediate future, however.”

When I pass into that great bureaucratic sky, at least I’ve left a generation of people who are interested in security issues Economic sanctions are a common course of action, so Shea’s attitude was far from surprising. We wanted to know, however, what it took for further action to be applied. “ O bv i o u s ly we have to make

sure that there is a big distinction between Russia threatening countries which are not part of NATO” (Shea is quick to add he condemns this) “and Russia being able to threaten countries which are part of NATO, because NATO countries have a legally binding security guarantee. An attack on one NATO country is an attack on everybody and will be met with a response.

I also believe that once we have established that that guarantee is credible, Russia will begin to negotiate again.”

Highlighting the �inding in 2010 that the world’s military spending was made up by 70 per cent NATO country members (and gaining a shocked response of “you’ve done your homework!”), we were quick to ask if this was a necessary expenditure.

“The US is approximately 50 per cent of that total and has been historically. A lot of that spending doesn’t go speci�ically to NATO; it goes to the personnel dealing with Ebola and forces in Iraq dealing with t h e probl e m

of the Islamic State for example. What the Europeans spend is far less impressive.”

Shea, however, does not shy away from a somewhat critical stance of the organisation’s expenditure.

An attack on one NATO country is an attack on everybody “We in NATO don’t spend our money very wisely, because a lot of this money spent goes towards duplication. In Europe we have four different types of �ighter aircraft, we have four different types of battle tanks, we have seventeen different types of armoured personnel carriers.”

Quick to criticise Euro-sceptics, Shea also praises the advantages of free movement in Europe.

“I don’t for one minute buy into this narrative of the Polish plumber taking away our jobs. It’s complete nonsense. The Polish plumber has vastly improved our lives everywhere.”

He does,

however, concede some of the current dif�iculties that come with new members joining NATO. “It’s more dif�icult now, as both NATO and the EU have certain standards and conditions you have to meet before you can be ready to join.”

With NATO now being forced to work in the unpredictable region that is the Middle East, we were keen to �ind out how the organisation has adapted to working in this atmosphere.

“The entire region is in turmoil.

The CIA has counted 1,400 different Jihadist groups, and new ones are springing up every week. One minute they’re �ighting each other; the next minute they’re declaring peace. It’s a moving picture, borders are open.

What can we do? The �irst thing is that where states are functioning we need to help them. In Iraq it’s very important to get the moderates to start working together. Also, we must help them to rebuild their economies. We must also try to bring the major countries together with us in a kind of coalition. Somehow we’ve got to try and get the major players together against the common threat.”

But even with a wealth of knowledge on international relations, Shea admits that there are no automatic solutions.

“Henry Kissinger famously said: ‘the beginning of wisdom in international relations is when you realise there are no solutions to problems.’

Now, I wouldn’t be that pessimistic, but I would certainly say there are no easy solutions. This is going to take a long time, and it’s going to take a lot of engagement.”

Shea offered a refreshingly pragmatic perspective concerning how public �igures can counter terrorist propaganda, whilst avoiding contributing to the Islamophobia and heightened tensions that some have in part attributed to the ‘War on Terror’ rhetoric of Bush and his contemporaries.

EXEPOSÉ “That’s something I learned when I was NATO’s spokesman - you have to be careful about language. The easiest way to have an enemy is to call someone an enemy.

“One shouldn’t do anything that plays into the narrative of terrorists.

You only glorify them in their own self-image.”

At the time of writing, as Shea pointed out, over 3,000 Europeans have gone overseas to join extremist organisations.

“That’s quite enormous,” he comments. “What do they �ind attractive about the ISIS narrative of chopping people’s heads off that would make them want to risk it all? We need to engage the families and communities where these people come from,” he continues. “We should focus our efforts at understanding why the other guy’s narrative has this magnetism and we need to effectively deconstruct extremist narratives, more than trying to use our own slogans.”

We need to effectively deconstruct extremist narratives more than trying to use our own slogans Shea himself is no stranger to seeing his words back�ire. Harking back to the late 1990s, Shea defended his controversial claim that Kosovan civilian tragedies were a ‘necessary evil.’

“You’re under a lot of pressure at the time. I’m not trying to make you feel sorry for me,” he quickly insists.

“But because NATO made some mistakes, there was a sense among some of the public that if any civilians got caught up in it you should just stop immediately.

“I had to try to make the case why as much as [civilian casualty] would be regretful, the bigger objective of stopping the �ighting was going to save a lot more lives in the longer run.

Whether or not I succeeded, I don’t know.”

When we shared with Shea a quote from a Syrian refugee who claimed that less people would have joined IS had the West intervened earlier, he argued that NATO’s caution was necessary.

“In any intervention, you always have the sin of commission – I went in and caused a lot of damage; or the sin of omission – I didn’t go in. In the wake of Iraq and Afghanistan, a lot of people were saying these interventions were a waste of time. And then you get Syria and the pendulum swings right to the other extreme.

Shea recognised the complexities of IS, but passionately rejects the notion that their bureaucratic systems could allow them to be considered a

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‘state,’ albeit fundamentalist.

“The techniques they use, of extreme ethnic violence, the capture and mistreatment of women, beheading, propaganda… have all the hallmarks of a terrorist organisation. The last thing we want to do is dignify them by suggesting that they are some kind of government.

“But they are certainly not Al Qaeda. Al Qaeda was essentially trying to hurt the West; Islamic State is primarily concerned about seizing land in the region.

“Islamic State is more open [than Al Qaeda]; they have over 30,000 �ighters from 80 countries. But, besides the brutality of the tactics, which I believe will eventually turn people against them, size could be their weakness.”

Despite the Snowden leaks that have problematis ed the claim of governmental honesty, Shea remained adamant that NATO is honouring its 2010 public transparency reform. “There’s not much about NATO that I know that a good journalist doesn’t. We take the policy that if we can’t defend it in public, we shouldn’t be doing it.”

This conscientiousness, Shea attests, is necessary of us all in the modern age.

“When I was at university I used to go out on a Friday evening, have a few beers and do silly things on the bar without fear that anyone would snap it. The age of absolute right of privacy has gone, and we have to adjust our behaviour accordingly.”

Although the brutal tactics of the IS have shocked communities across the world, Shea identi�ied the use of social media as one of their most frightening weapons.

“Things go viral before you can even contain it, which can cause violent demonstrations. The Internet is almost impossible to shut down – that’s good, particularly when combatting dictatorship; but the disadvantage is that if you start censoring, new sites come up all the time.

“Instead of relying upon the technological medium to transmit our values, we’ve got to put the message on the medium, and make the defence of Western liberalism seem as ‘cool’ as the idea of overthrowing Western democracy.”

As our 50 minute interview drew to a close, with Shea’s manager calmly sipping his Costa smoothie, Shea left us to ponder one �inal thought that is perhaps a �itting message for the present international climate.

“We live in an age of anger. We’re all angry. But anger is not a weapon; it’s not a solution to anything. So we need to make the Internet an effective medium for a rather more boring message - one of participation, relativism, democracy and tolerance.”

13

A cardinal error

Joshua Rotchelle takes a critical stance on the Pope’s recent statements regarding same-sex marriage

HALF Pope, half pop culture icon, Pope Francis recently voiced controversial opinions in a speech during a mass Manila. Speci�ically, he condemned the recent trend of governments worldwide moving towards equal marriage rights for the LGBT population, declaring these motions to be a “threat” to the family, and furthermore stating that they “dis�igure God’s creation.”

Unsurprisingly, this is not the �irst time the papacy has handed down some less-than-favourable views to the LGBT crowd. Francis’ predecessor, Benedict XVI, went so far as to label homosexuality as an “intrinsic disorder,” while the Catholic catechism speci�ically brands homosexuals “contrary to the natural law,” and warns that under no circumstances can it be approved.

Francis has often been said to be relatively progressive However, compared to his predecessors, Francis has often been said to be relatively progressive. While it’s true that his recent comments may seem to contradict that reputation, in other areas such as corruption within the church, it’s true that the current Pope has made some massive leaps forward, although perhaps less so in LGBT aspects.

There is the question of whether ‘forward’ is enough. An over-conservative Pope is an over-conservative Pope; yes, a move forward is ‘better.’

But that’s like saying a hangover is better than a hangover and a stomach ache. You can wave your hands in triumph all you like, but in the end, your head’s still aching like hell.

Francis’ rhetoric also seems a tad dubious on some levels – in a previous

interview, when questioned on his top ten tips for a successful life, the Pope outlined his top tip, numero uno, to ‘live and let live.’

This rings in a remarkably contradictory tone to the Pope’s recent words. If Francis is happy living as a Catholic, why doesn’t he ‘let live’ others who fall into those two most important of demographics: Homosexuals, and People Who Are Not Pope Francis?

Even if we overlook the little stumbling block of going against one’s own words, there are other issues afoot, some of which go over even the Pope’s head. Even the rhetoric of the head of the Church pales in comparison to the words of bigger �ish, and you can’t get much bigger than the son of the big man himself.

Without wishing to turn this into a sermon, ol’ beardy makes it pretty clear in the New Testament that one of the most important commandments for the Christian faith is ‘Love thy neighbour as thyself.’

Is it loving to rock up to a huge demographic of the world population and say to them: “Sorry, you can’t have access to a huge part of modern love life, because I don’t think my deity would like it much.”

However, even before all that, there is one rather large and rather secular elephant in the room, important even to the most die-hard of atheists, if not more so: the separation of church and state.

Around the world, the past century has slid further towards separating religion and state law, a move that I am wholeheartedly in agreement with, mostly because the alternatives seem to have an alarming tendency towards high body counts of relatively innocent people and large numbers of oppressed minorities.

It doesn’t really matter what Fran-

cis’ opinions (or the church’s opinions) on LGBT marriage are: as far as I’m concerned, they should have no bearing on the restrictions – or ideally, lack thereof – on whether gay populations can marry. The days of the laws of the Bible being the laws of the land and no exceptions thank you very much are over, and I for one am in no rush to see them return.

The past century has slid further and further towards separating religion and state law In short, it seems that somebody really ought to tell Francis to mind his own business. Catholics look to the Pope for a religious leader, and that’s �ine, but non-Catholic homosexuals never asked for his opinion. This latter group simply does not fall under the Pope’s jurisdiction, and Francis has absolutely no business poking his nose in what they can and can’t do in their love lives.

This especially applies when it comes to issues such as marriage, which these days are as much legal and secular affairs as they are religious, if not more so. The most recent available statistics, from 2011, show the percentage of marriages in the UK and Wales to be at an all-time low, at less than 30 per cent.

The message that emerges becomes clear: Pope Francis, get with it.

He may be ‘progressive,’ but times are a-changing, and if he doesn’t buck up his ideas on gay marriage, he’s going to �ind himself looking a lot like that unwanted hangover, annoying, and hanging around awkwardly long after the party has ended.

My big fat wedding 14

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Ruth Jesse re�lects on the reactions to her recent engagement and the unexpected wedding body image pressures that she has experienced I GOT engaged over the summer. You should, dear reader, be impressed that I have written that in such a calm fashion; just a couple of weeks ago it would still have been written in caps lock and followed by more than one exclamation mark, despite my general hatred for both over-enthusiasm and punctuation abuse. I might never have thought I would be that girl, but here I am, getting all mooney over how in love I am.

And our friends and family are just as excited as I am. My sister was among the few who shed some tears, and my future mother-in-law literally jumped out of her chair. My father, admittedly, was less visibly excited (he didn’t make the effort to get out of his chair at all, congratulating me brie�ly before informing me that my dinner was on the table) and my brother’s reaction could only be described as bizarre. He �irstly asked if I was pregnant, before telling me it was “a bit out of left �ield” (my �iancé and I have been together for seven years). He �inished the conversation with the immortal line: “Congratulations, I suppose.”

I loved every one of these beautiful, imperfect responses. Half the fun of getting engaged was in sharing our excitement with the people who know and love us best. I will always smile when I think about how my granny interrupted my retelling of the proposalstory to make sure she was picturing the right place: “Isn’t that dog-poo park?” Apparently it was.

Since then, the general comment has been regarding how busy I will be this year. Fair enough: even as I sit here writing I am starting to stress somewhat that I still have yet to �inish sending out save-the-dates, while my barely-started dissertation is looking at me rather woefully from my desk.

Others have commented on how young I am to be getting married.

Again, it’s fair. I am young, but I’m also not stupid; when people make this remark I know they are thinking about how, statistically, marriages from an early age are less likely to succeed than marriages between couples later in life. However, I know that I have successfully maintained a long-term and often long-distance relationship over seven years, and believe me, I am aware of the dif�iculties marriage will inevitably bring. I still want to get married knowing it will be incredibly challenging as well as lots of fun.

The one reaction I really struggled with, however, came from a close family friend: “Congratulations! Very exciting news!” she said. “Oh, I heard about this weight loss programme from a friend that you must try before your wedding!”

Half the fun of getting engaged was in sharing our excitement with the people who know and love us best I hate to admit it, but in one seemingly innocuous sentence she had kind of devastated me. I thought to myself, “Am I too big?” and even before I had entertained the question in my head I was thinking that at the size I was I couldn’t be a proper bride, I wasn’t good enough for my �iancé and I was going to ruin the wedding by literally making it my ‘big’ day. How long had she (and others?) been looking at me, thinking I needed to lose weight? Had I blindly been feeling happy and con�ident in my body, while everyone else was secretly judging me and wondering why I wasn’t trying to shift the bulge?

Like most women, I have never had amazing body con�idence. The amount of time I have spent worrying over the size of my tummy, thighs, or arms would probably amount to hours of my life I could have dedicated to yet another Friends marathon (or something else useful). And this isn’t a problem which only affects me. According to a recent Glamour Magazine survey, up to 80 per cent of women report feeling unhappy when they look in a mirror.

Over the last few years I have strived for better body con�idence.

When I do think negatively about my body I remind myself that I am within a healthy weight range and I’m in shape.

Strength and �itness, not thinness was my mantra. I may never achieve the elusive thigh-gap, but I look after my body in the best way I know how.

But confronted by a single, wellmeant comment these thoughts were somewhat obscured. Browsing through wedding magazines or pictures of friends’ and family members’ wedding photos did nothing to help.

Was I bigger than her? Were my arms

as toned as hers? How much did she weigh when she got married?

It seemed, suddenly, to be everywhere I looked: magazines told me there were foods I needed to avoid before I walked down the aisle, Pinterest gave me a list of exercises to ensure a bridal-body, and a quick google reminded me not only that I was too big, but that my cuticles would ruin my wedding photos if I didn’t do anything about them.

The last one made me laugh, and a little sad. Who are these women really worrying about their cuticle’s signi�icant role in the wedding? Can’t someone help them �ind something more interesting to worry about? And yet I thought about my own worries. Maybe I should be less worried about arm fat than I should be about committing to someone who chronically leaves their pants on the �loor.

And yet the seed was planted.

Even while laughing at these cuticle-obsessed brides-to-be I found myself dragged into the haze of the wedding-industry outlook: brides need to be perfect, and today, no matter how much people protest, we continue to associate perfection and success with thinness. I tentatively set myself a goal weight-loss of half a stone.

It’s been several months since then, and I have managed to lose nearly a stone, twice the original weight-loss I had originally intended on. Some people have commented that I look slimmer; I’m not sure most people have noticed at all, and in all honesty I haven’t really noticed a difference in myself. And this is the problem; the ultimate myth about weightloss: once you have reached your

goal weight you will feel happy and con�ident. So why am I still having the same thoughts about the same parts of my body even after losing more weight than I originally set out to?

I hate to admit it, but in one seemingly innocuous sentence she had kind of devastated me The perfect body and perfect self-esteem don’t actually go hand in hand, as well we know. My body now adheres better to our current ideal of beauty, but it hasn’t changed how I actually feel about it. And the more I think about weight-loss, the less it has made sense for me: thinness has

very little to offer me; it won’t produce a more inspired dissertation, it won’t make my wedding any more special and it won’t make me any better as a person.

I originally began to lose weight so that I could feel beautiful on my wedding day, but after losing some weight I don’t think thinness can even offer me this. I now believe that I will feel more beautiful walking down the aisle knowing that I am completely in love and loved, and I now know that I will never walk anywhere feeling completely skinny, or completely happy with my body. After all, if the reactions to my engagement are anything to go by, sometimes it’s the little imperfections which inspire the most joy.

So I’m not going to let myself think about weight-loss for a while. I’m even going to steer clear of wedding magazines. I’d rather invest this brief, wonderful period of my life in becoming a con�ident, happy and healthy woman – that, and in training my �iancé to put his pants in the laundry bin. Of course, it is probable that both these projects will well outlast the engagement.

And as one �inal thought in this whole episode, up yours to the woman who made me think getting thin was the best use of my time. I have so many better things to do.

Putting the Balls in politics EXEPOSÉ

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15

Harrison Jones, Editor, discusses dating, ‘Ed Balls Day’ and the fast approaching general election with Labour’s Shadow Chancellor

IT’S a freezing January morning and I’ve cycled to Exeter College, so the promise of coffee is more than welcome as I’m politely ushered to @34 Café.

We’re met by a bunch of clones: just four women sit amongst a posse of 20 plus elite ‘business leaders’ from the South West, the rest of whom are ageing, white, middle class males, questioning Ed Balls about uninteresting, self-serving crap.

Scrutinising the Shadow Chancellor’s sharp red tie, blue shirt, black suit combo, and sipping the lukewarm tea on offer - there was no coffee after all - I’m bored inside 30 seconds. Chefs busy themselves through the window to the adjacent room as the cream of the South West’s capitalist crop wax lyrical about how good their company is. This leads the session to overrun, leaving just eight minutes to interview Labour’s number two.

Riding home later, I’m annoyed that I didn’t get to ask Balls about a confusing ‘love square’ between himself, Ed Miliband, Yvette Cooper (Shadow Home Secretary and his wife) and Stephanie Flanders (former BBC Economics Editor). Conveniently, I bump into the 47-year-old on the way to his next appointment, walking alongside Exeter’s MP, Ben Bradshaw.

Steeling myself for a frosty reception, I venture: “Do you mind if I ask you a personal question, Ed?” “Go on then,” he obliges.

“Was it Stephanie Flanders you dated in the 90s?”

Dating would be overstating it...

At this, Bradshaw leaps to his colleague’s defence, interjecting jokingly - but with more than a hint of warning: “You can’t ask him a question like that!”

“The point is,” I continue, “Ed Miliband dated Flanders too, and she was the seminar partner of Yvette. That’s a crazy set of connections, isn’t it?”

Looking suitably uncomfortable, Balls just about manages to respond: “I met Yvette through Stephanie…”

Bradshaw is already veering down a side street, coaxing Labour’s economic strategist to wherever they are apparently headed now; but Balls, regaining his usual con�idence, somewhat mysteriously adds: “er, dating would be overstating it” - whatever that means - before sauntering off to the waiting Bradshaw.

Just a few minutes earlier, three interviewers - including myself - are surrounding the man hoping to run the treasury next May, recording devices in hand.

His ridiculous intellect is apparent very early on. After all, Balls was a teaching fellow at Harvard in his early 20s, having won a scholarship to the world’s best university thanks to the fourth highest �irst in his year at Oxford, where he studied - yep, you guessed it - PPE. The actual Chancellor, meanwhile, dropped PPE because - get this - economics was reportedly ‘too hard,’ but that’s another story.

Balls speaks on an array of topics in knowledgeable but understandable terminology. Given the time restraints, it’s mildly irritating that he elaborates not upon implementing faster broadband for the South West, but on who should be taking that decision.

Conscious that no one normal gives a toss, I instead raise ‘Ed Balls Day,’ to provoke everyone out of their regional-business-bumph-stupor and certainly cause a stir. Balls smirks and lightens up, the nice bloke from the Express & Echo looks taken aback and suddenly the crowd of aides giggle their vague interest.

Smiling, he says playfully: “It’s a burden I will probably carry with me to my grave. I learnt a lot about social

Ed Balls at a glance

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Chief Economic Secretary to the HM Treasury from 2006 to 2007

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Accused of breaching spending protocol in 2007 allowance scandal

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Secretary of State for Children, Schools and Families from 2007 to 2010

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Former Kennedy Scholar at Harvard University

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Prominent member of the Fabian Society

•

Norwich City football fan

Photo: The Mirror

media through it and I think everybody is bonkers, but what can you do?”

The date in question, April 28 2011, is now infamous as the day when the Morley & Outwood MP tweeted his own name. Yep, just his own name.

The response was classic internet: retweets aplenty, “t-shirts, hats and graphs,” but most importantly an anniversary when everyone tweets two words: “Ed Balls.”

Back on to the serious stuff, and the man considered Labour’s best at standing up to right wing rhetoric gives some fairly unsatisfactory answers on dealing with the Greens and what Labour offers young people.

He’s also disappointing when it comes to clarifying his party’s main message.

The Tories are clearly going to say three things: ‘Miliband’s a geek; don’t let Labour overspend again; let us �inish the job.’ But Labour’s alternative is far from clear. So in a phrase just what is their message?

Balls replies: “We will say ‘we are going to make sure our economy works for everybody and not just a few people.’ And that every time the Tories say ‘our plan is working,’ I think most people in our country are saying ‘well, who’s it working for because it’s not working for me’ and, er, we have always been the party about international cooperation, about social justice and making sure that we make the world a better place. We are the op-

timists, not the pessimists, and we’ll leave the pessimism to David Cameron.” That’s all great, but - crucially it’s not catchy, memorable, or indeed, a ‘sound bite.’ It’s 15 lines of anti-Tory vagueness, not pro-Labour speci�ics.

Far more strikingly, the former minister provides a stringent defence of Ed Miliband, when asked if a supposedly weak leader is harming Labour. “People said exactly the same thing about Margaret Thatcher in 1978, Tony Blair in 1996,” he replies quickly - as if asked this before.

I think the NHS is the best system in the world.

I don’t think it’s broken “Ed is a person of principle. He was the �irst to talk about the cost of living crisis, the �irst who said he was worried about a lost generation of young people and he was the guy who challenged News International to change their game, so I think he’s proved his mettle.”

Balls also leaps at the chance to praise the NHS, Labour’s subject of choice when it comes to what to talk about in the run up to the election.

With Nye Bevan, the man credited with the NHS’ creation, as his political idol, Balls says: “I think the NHS is the best system in the world. I don’t

think it’s broken - it’s hugely ef�icient compared to America. Everybody gets healthcare when they need it, not based upon what they can afford.

“But you’ve got to keep reforming and changing, it’s got to be �it for purpose in today’s world. It needs more resources at the moment, we haven’t got any nurses or GPs and that’s why everyone’s waiting longer.”

It’s the economy which is the former Gordon Brown protege’s main area of expertise, though. He rattles off a host of initiatives aimed at creating a “fairer, stronger economy,” whilst still cutting the de�icit, notably increasing the top rate of tax back to 50 per cent; taking the winter allowance away from the richest pensioners, freezing child bene�it for another year and raising the minimum wage.

He contrasts such moves with George Osborne’s plans to bring public spending back “down to the levels we saw in the 1930s” - something Balls labels “a retreat into old style, backward -looking romanticism.”

As it stands, the odds on which plan will be implemented hang in the balance, though pollsters do make Balls the slight favourite to be Chancellor in three months time. He’s undoubtedly competent enough, but the question is what he would prioritise and - if he does get there - whether, like Brown before him, he might go on to take higher of�ice.

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Let’s get satirical EXEPOSÉ

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Exeposé Features rounds up the news with a humorous twist

#colin4welfare sabb

Ciaran Willis Screen Editor

ON a frosty Saturday last week, I ducked into The Sorry Head on Blackboy Road to chat with one of the candidates in this year’s Sabb elections.

Already there, curled in a dusty corner with a pint in one �in, and a cigar in the other, was Colin the Conger eel. Wearing a tweed deerstalker hat and wrapped in plumes of smoke. An eel drinking ale.

Unlike Farage Colin espouses diversity and inclusiveness Colin is an antiquated eel-looking chap. If Nigel Farage is the personi�ication of a bemused old amphibian - well, Colin is a less-racist eel counterpoint. Unlike Farage, Colin espouses diversity and inclusiveness. He wants to see a better Exeter. And that’s hard because his eyesight is poor, and he’s nocturnal.

I asked him about current issues within the University. For him one

of the biggest problems is the lack of diversity: “the University is full of sea bass and salmon. We need to see more clown�ish and blow�ish, octopus and tropical �ish.” Of course, a sensible and well-articulated point.

I wonder, though, how Colin will be received as a candidate. Politicians and, perhaps, Sabb of�icers are occasionally seen as slippery. “Well, I’m afraid I’m pretty slippery. Like a teenage boy with a tub of Vaseline and a free house. But that’s just my �ishy physiology. Generally – and metaphorically speaking – I’m as clear as The Munchhausen trilemma.”

Despite a sometimes abstract way of talking, Colin really does want to see changes. He abhors any nascent drinking culture and he wants to see a happier, reformed University. He wants better gender relations; he describes himself as a feminist.

However, I saw one minor issue: Colin doesn’t have arms. And that seems like a problem. Usually candidates do. “Well, Ciaran. I have no arms to hold people back. I don’t strong-arm people. I guide them. I let them swim.”

But does he have a catchy slogan?

He begins to think out loud. “Erm…

‘hEELing the University.’ No, ‘King Conger’. That’s stupid isn’t it. How about: ‘Making rEEL changes.’ Or... ‘Take the bait’. Oh wait, wasn’t that used already? ‘Putting the eel in Weelfare.’ No, no. (He laughs) I’m working on it.”

It’s clear Colin is one Conger eel with real ambition and ideas. He’s a genuine candidate for that Sabbatical �ish-tank come the end of elections. So if you see an affable eel in the forum, say hello. That’s Colin.

everyone queue for the entire night?”

“Dancing in clubs is so mainstream, ya get me? What people really want is to become steadily more sober and sweaty in the queue, talk about Daddy’s new polo horse, endure a semi-scrum to get to the front and then get shouted at by bouncers. That gap in the market is so ours, man.”

ed then it’s another chance for us to chuck people out for no reason.”

The queue nights are thought to be the �irst of their kind in the country, with students paying £7 entry to queue all the way from the downstairs door to the smoking area, before �ighting it out for the chance to look down on people from the greatest height, before whinging about how they are all pigeons, and then shitting on them.

A group of big, balding men stood outside Queuesaic, who may or may not be employed there, were asked for their opinion on the matter, but could only respond through a series of incomprehensible grunts and expletives.

One of the more confrontational males later added: “You’ve got no fans.

You want some? I’ll give it ya.”

The group were last seen chasing each other down Sidwell Street brandishing queue rails, in what appears to have been an elaborate marketing ploy for the club’s rebrand.

Making rEEL Changes

Mosaic to be renamed ‘Queuesaic’ Harrison Jones Editor QUEUESAIC - the Exeter club formerly known as Mosaic - has undertaken a signi�icant rebranding scheme in an attempt to make the act of queuing appear edgy and ‘so unay.’

Infamous ‘Monday Mozzas’ and ‘Thursday night Moz’ events will now both be called ‘Queueday Moz’. Indeed, all nights at the venue are now to be called ‘QueueAllNightAtMoz night.’

Queuesaic’s Events’ Organiser, Indeee Rah, was enthusiastic about the new rebranding, explaining: “Well, you see, we need to make our events seem exclusive and edgy, and hide the fact that there’s fuck all people upstairs because we’re making everyone queue so people on the top �loor can feel superior. So instead of letting the elite few get up there and have a shit time, we thought: why not just make

All nights at the venue are now called ‘QueueAllNightAtMoz’ night Rumour also has it that students will lose their place in the queue if they have the tenacity to go to the toilet.

Club Manager, Mr A Hole, exclusively told Exeposé: “we’re going for something like a test: when students excrete in the queue, we’ll be checking for scents of caviar and champagne.

“If either ingredient is not detect-

George Osborne cut out visits University Dan Squire

AFTER Green Party leader Natalie Bennett drew a record turnout of students, the University played host this week to a second record-breaking political talk, as an inanimate cardboard cut-out of Chancellor George Osborne �illed the Forum Auditorium. Including the hundreds watching via live stream, early estimates say there were over 1,000 students tuned in, although accurate �igures will not be released until early next week.

The talk was organised as part of the Conservative Party’s effort to stem the �low of young voters to minority parties, although time commitments meant that the Chancellor could not attend in person, and it was deemed preferable to send a cut-out than Communities Secretary Eric Pickles.

There was a buzzing atmosphere in the auditorium throughout the talk, with the most exciting discussions happening during the Q&A period. Mr Osborne was questioned on the economy, immigration, Middle East policy and Scottish independence, but deftly managed to avoid answering any of the questions at all. He remained cool and collected during questions about the Eurozone, and was unfazed when at one point he fell �lat on his face, clearly showing his experience in political debates. Audience members were impressed by Mr Osborne’s ability to maintain direct eye contact

with everyone in the Auditorium at the same time.

Reactions to the Chancellor were mixed. Some students praises his stance on the Charlie Hebdo attacks, while others criticised the way he disappeared when he turned sideways. “[He] had some really good points,” said Elliott Jenkins, a second year Law student. “His right elbow, for instance.”

“At �irst he seemed quite likeable,” said Mia Roberts, fourth year Spanish, “but it didn’t take long to realise there was no depth to his arguments.”

There was a buzzing atmosphere in the auditorium With the student population clearly showing their appetite for political debate, other societies are now looking into organising their own speakers, with a Nick Clegg lookalike scheduled to speak in Amory Moot in February. In the run-up to the general election, we can only expect the political tension on campus to increase. But the consensus among viewers of Osborne’s talk was that having outside speakers visit the University is very helpful in making informed voting decisions.

“I’ve seen George Osborne speak before on TV,” said James Briggs, a �irst year Medicine student, “but when he came to campus I really started to see him as a three-dimensional person.”

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Tweets of the week The best of the Lifestyle Twitterati’s musings and wit this week Tweet us @ExeposeLStyle

Nice to eat you...

Julia Ormerod @sheeponclouds I go into town to buy needles and somehow I’ve managed to get myself roped into paying monthly for guide dog training Carmen @carmenpaddock Third year and I still forget to do course reading until the night before... at least I’m consistent #latenightstudysession Shev @Shevvvv “I’ll never chase a man but if he has tattoos and a beard I might power walk.”

Gemma Joyce @GLJoyce Racing home from a party at 10:30 to get more reading done - Gold in the Third Year Olympics Richard Drain @RichDrain Looked in the mirror and wasn’t repulsed.

Adam Smith @adamndsmith Having passive-aggressive races with people walking to campus.

I’m winning.

Fran Lowe @Fran_Lowe94 I really wish that the people who listen to loud music in silent study would listen to something better than Gangsta’s Paradise. On repeat.

Harrison @HarrisonJones7 Just put cinnamon in my coffee and it rocked my little world a bit too much. #ThirdYearFun #SomeoneEscortMeToTP Tristan @tristangatward Notes from lecture: stare at “Plautus” long enough and it can look like “platypus”.

Hanz Butler @Hannah_Butler94 Not many things more disappointing in life than landing on Free Parking after someone’s just claimed all the dolla.. #monopolyprobs Eamonn Crowe @EamonnLC Im aware that ive tuned out but im not willing to tune back in #lecturethoughts

Two Lifestyle writers share their tips for appetising amorous relations Bethany Stuart Arts Editor

‘Fifty Shades of Earl Grey’ The Posh Girl’s Guide to fornication with the top four foods you’ll �ind in any self-respecting Waitrose shopper’s basket.

1. The Avocado Admit it, there’s nothing more erotic than squeezing one’s avocado and �inding that it’s perfectly ripened. So why not take it that one step further?

Slip off that �iendish outer skin and simply massage into a silky paste on your partner’s chest for maximum pleasure. After intercourse you can even scoop the remnants onto your face for an instant conditioning mask and - if you have the cup size of Millie Mackintosh - fashion a bralet out of the two halves of the outer shell and pretend to be a Victoria’s Secret Model for Round Two. Ding Ding.

As a sexually liberated generation, we must end the teabagging taboo 2. Quinoa Recent studies have shown that gently rubbing al dente quinoa on the erogenous zones heightens arousal by improving circulation and triggering the pleasure cortex of the brain. I always infuse mine with the zest of two limes, but if you’re feeling particularly adventurous, chilli oil and paprika will add that little extra oomph. (On a serious note: if you try and fake it with couscous, they’ll know about it. So don’t.)

3. Parmesan Foam The ultimate alternative for those who like to spray their loved ones with dairy products mid-coitus.

Simply whip up a parmesan foam (or get your butler to do it) and use your silver spoon to catapult it onto their bodies like they’re a naughty little spaghetti al forno in need of an Italian waiter and his cheese grater. Such fun.

4. Chai As a sexually liberated generation we need to end the taboo on teabagging. There is literally nothing more satisfying than emptying the contents of a Twining’s selection box into a tub and enjoying an aromatic soak with your signi�icant other after a hard day at work.

Masala Chai is my favourite because of its antioxidant qualities, but you let your imaginations - and your teabags - run wild. I can’t fathom what the fuss was all about in the �irst place…

So that’s it! One little trip to Waitrose and all your sexual needs will be catered for: the sexual fantasies of the cultural elite your oyster and the indignity of the Tesco basics range a distant memory. (P.S. I can con�irm from a reliable and anonymous source that Prince George was conceived whilst Kate and Will were adopting the quinoa method. Need I say more?)

Matt Wilcock Online Comment Editor

What’s cookin’ good lookin’?

The parents were off for a week and the house was my own. So begins every adolescent’s dream. I’d just cashed in on my mum’s offer for free food. To the end of her shopping list I gleefully added ‘whipped cream, raspberries, rum, ice-lollies (Calippos, upmarket), vanilla ice cream and baby wipes. And told her, it was not for what she thought (it was).

And it was really good! Fun was had by all, well two of us.

But lessons were learnt: out of the goodness of my own heart, I’ve placed an ice-lolly in my girlfriend’s vagina so you don’t have to.

(And yes, she gave the green-light for this piece though asked for her anonymity. So thank you, wherever and whoever you are.)

A list of DOs and DON’Ts - lessons learnt from food’s �irst foray ‘into the bedroom.’ On that note, don’t do it in the bedroom. What with all your coursework and bed-sheets just waiting to have juices squirted all over them (from the fruits!), it’s an accident waiting to happen! Far easier to clean a pool of ice-cream off a worktop than your landlord’s carpet.

Let’s get down to it then: as a positive guy I’ve got a list of DOs for getting it on in the kitchen. DON’Ts

don’t exist.:

DOs Whipped cream – liberal use is highly recommended. There’s no shame in resorting to the classics.

Apply with excess to your partner.

You’ll want to be tonguing away with the gusto of a pig at the trough. Be sloppy, messy, unapologetically and un�linchingly animalistic; embody the pig, be one with the pig.

Baby wipes – and loo roll. It’s going to be messy. Don’t �ight it. It will be. I can’t recommend these two enough.

I placed an ice lolly in my girlfriend’s vagina so you don’t have to After all is said and done and clean – you’re going to be hungry.

You’ve worked up an appetite and food’s been on your mind for the last two hours. SHOCK-HORROR: ‘Sex-food’ doubles up as ‘food-food.’

With no effort at all your phallic cuisine transforms back into an innocuous banana. So just keep eating and you’re doing alright.

(One DON’T. No parsnips: there is no item of food less sexy than a parsnip. Use this rule of thumb: if it makes you think ‘chicken stew’ before ‘intercourse,’ don’t use it!)

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19

Ashton Wenborn champions a bit of healthy experimentation... with food THE British public have always been known for being somewhat lacking in imagination when it comes to our food. Throughout history we have strictly followed a ‘meat and two veg’ approach to what we put on our plates, and have been reluctant to try the delicacies which the rest of the world has offered up.

Yet, in the last few decades England has seen a slow but sure shift away from the bland pub nosh which we held dear for so long, towards a nation that embraces the world’s culinary offerings (just look at all the cultured individuals who stay up late just to sample delightful foreign delicacies, like kebabs). It is out of this newly sparked interest in cuisine that the increasingly popular trend for bizarre food combos has appeared.

One need only look towards Heston Blumenthal, the fearless potato-headed icon of the movement, to see just how popular food experimentation has become.

Initially shunned by his peers and the public alike, Blumenthal did not let that stop him.

He polished his shiny head and has risen to what is arguably the height of his career: a permanent spot on the coveted shelves of

Waitrose and the odd Christmas ad on telly. Cherry Bakewell Vodka, Lapsang Souchong Tea-smoked salmon, and Earl Grey Mandarin Teacakes can all be bought at your local Waitrose, and now exclusively reside in the cupboards of Holland Hall. The mere fact that these products have been taken on by one of the UK’s biggest supermarket chains proves just how eager the British public is to inject some peculiarity into their diets (or at least, how desperate people are to appear more middle-class than they already are).

Yet it’s not just the social elite to whom the trend has been made available. Exeter’s Urban Burger restaurant, a favourite amongst students, has also jumped on the bandwagon. The newest addition to their menu, the ‘Elvis’ burger, distorts the classic cheese burger with the addition of a sugared donut bun, peanut butter, and honey glazed bacon.

Just the words “sugared donut” and “honey glazed bacon” are enough to induce orgasms in the majority of the general population, that is until the inevitable heart attack kicks in and spoils dinner. This homage to the late and

great king of rock and roll hasn’t received wholly positive reviews (somewhat unsurprisingly given the fact that Elvis’ death is widely attributed to the 94,000 calories a day he was rumoured to have eaten towards the end of his life). As the trend for weird, but not always wonderful, culinary creations sweeps the nation, we offer up a top 3 of the most interesting food combinations we could �ind so that you can try them too, although be warned, they may not be good!

1) Sweet Chilli Sensations, peanut butter, and Greek yogurt: This takes the idea of ‘chips and dip’ to a whole new level. The mild yogurt perfectly balances out the �iery Sensations, whilst the peanut butter’s salty, nutty richness makes this combo a total winner. As a serving suggestion, this one would probably be best offered as small canapés when a student budget kills any hope of going to Marks and Spencer’s for a special occasion. Just tell your guests that it is the newest form of Haute Cuisine and is being served at all the top fashion shows in Paris. If your guests are willing to eat peanut butter and Greek yoghurt with crisps, they’re probably stupid enough to believe you.

2) Crisps and chocolate ice-cream: Salty and sweet is a common theme of the strange food combinations we’ve come across, and chips and chocolate is the perfect example of this. Market leader in sweet treats, Ben and Jerry’s, have backed this �lavour combo with the release of their “Late Night Snack” ice cream which is a vanilla ice cream base with caramel swirls and chocolate-covered potato chip clusters. Perfect for sharing with a partner if you both have different tastes. But as is the case with 90 percent of Ben and Jerry’s sales, the consumer will most likely be a slightly sad, lonely person eating it with a spoon straight out of the tub while watching Love Actually and dreamily imagining someone coming to their door with a C.D. player and a set of cards declaring their love… or is that just me? Other people do this right? RIGHT? 3) Balsamic vinegar and strawberries: When the acid of the vinegar mixes with the natural sugar of the strawberries a magical thing happens. The strawberries begin to turn into gloriously syrupy goo which, when sprin-

kled with sugar, is a weirdly wonderful treat that beats a plain old fruit salad any day. If using food in the bedroom is your kind of thing, this one could make a good option that, when applied in moderation, could be a tingly, exciting way of spicing things up. Be warned, however. Vinegar is a heartless bitch. If you get too carried away, you could end up with it in your eye, or worse, in a very personal area.

Go forth and add toffee to asparagus, mix tequila with gravy and douse chicken with coffee There are many who argue that food experimentation is messing with perfectly good food, and admittedly on a cold day by the beach there is probably nothing better than a really good �ish and chips. But how can anyone argue that the way in which the nation has embraced food, because of the trend for odd combinations, is a bad thing? We are a country built on championing the unlikely hero, and it should be no different with food. Go forth and add toffee to asparagus, mix tequila with gravy and douse chicken with coffee. Who knows what incredible new combinations you could discover? Forge on readers, and discover something amazing!

Hey Nickie, you’re so wise!

Nickie Shobeiry, our new Lifestyle Agony Aunt, is here to solve all of your problems (well, sort of) B.O., BATH AND BEYOND Dear Nickie, My best friend is the nicest guy you could ever meet, but unfortunately he smells like a sewer… in August. I really want to tell him that he smells, but I don’t know how to do it without him being offended. I have tried dropping hints, like taking him with me to buy my shower gels, but he just doesn’t seem to get it. What should I do?

From B.O. Dear aptly-initialled friend, Don’t be the arse that lets the nicest guy you could ever meet wander around smelling like he’s got a decomposing campus cat under his polo shirt. Don’t lead him around Wilko’s bath section like the two lost souls you

are – his armpits will still be moist and ingrown-haired, and you’ll be left juggling shampoo bottles until the faeces-covered cows come home.

Clearly, there’s some things that a little puff of Lynx won’t �ix, and that’s this question.

Pull your deodorised self together – better it comes from you than someone else.

Alternatively, have you considered the possibility that he realises he smells bad? Maybe he doesn’t care about social norms, and is therefore automatically much cooler than you. Think about it.

Nickie XOXO

CHUNDER CHAT Dear Nickie, As an absolute #LAD, I take pride in my bolt time and ability to pull 20 girls in one go on top top. My mates even used to call me BCOC (Best Chat On Campus).

But last Saturday, I bolted just one VK in the Lemmy and then chundered by the bar in front of all me M8s! I swear to you it was only because I’d just eaten a cheeky nandos a few hours before, but now all the lads are calling me BBOC (Biggest Bellend On Campus). What can I do to get my infamous rep back?

From T.C. Drop everything you’re doing. Yes,

including your iPhone, and no, not your Calvin Klein boxers. What I’m about to tell you is vital to the survival of yourself, and all those in your wake: you will not, under any circumstances, continue to be a ‘#LAD.’ For the good of humanity, save the remnants of your wrinkled-up honour, leave your ‘infamous rep’ crusting across the bar at the ‘Lemmy,’ and then never call it the ‘Lemmy’ again. Get new ‘mates,’ leave the ‘birds’ alone, pour the VK down the drain and try some greentea or malt whisky. Then re-evaluate your personality – it’s probably not too late. Also, your use of hash-tags is insulting. Stop.

Nickie XOXO If you need help, send in your dilemmas to Nickie at lifestyle@exepose.com

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Don’t go breaking my heart

Carmen Paddock and Jessie Stanier share their best anti-Valentines Day recipes to survive a lonely February 14 Double Chocolate Cupcakes 15 February, the day after Valentine’s, could aptly be called National HalfPriced Chocolates Day. Let’s face it – who hasn’t hit Thornton’s as soon as the 50 per cent off signs went up? Now of course there’s the problem of what to do with your heartshaped hoard; you could devour them all in one sitting, but why not use them to improve your baking skills?

For the cake: 120g butter, softened, plus extra for greasing 200g brown sugar 2 large eggs 125g self-raising �lour 50g almond meal 1⁄2 tsp bicarbonate of soda 6 Tbsp cocoa powder 120ml milk For the icing: 120g dark chocolate, chopped 120g milk chocolate, chopped 240ml heavy cream For decoration (optional): Chocolate drops, buttons, hearts, M&Ms, other random small chocolatey things to add to the heart attack factor.

For the cake - Heat oven to 180°C/

Gas 5. Grease and line 8-10 cupcake cases (depending on whether you over�ill them like I do, or �ill them only 2/3 full, the proper way). Put all cake ingredients in a bowl in the order given; cream the butter and sugar, add the eggs, add the rest, and then beat together until lump-free. Bake for 20-25 minutes until a skewer inserted comes out clean. Cool for 15 minutes, then remove from tin and cool completely.

For the icing - Mix the two chocolates in a heatproof bowl. Heat the cream to just below boiling point, then pour over the melted chocolate and stir together until melted and smooth. Chill until thick enough to spread.

To complete - When cakes are completely cool, frost liberally and decorate as desired. Cry about your lonely existence and then devour your hoard in one sitting.

- Carmen Paddock

Funky Garlic and Kale Pesto The tangy notes of this saucy number on your breath are guaranteed to repel every potential suitor at Arena this Valentine’s Day. With a 98 per cent chance that you’ll also end up with wildly attractive green bits stuck between your teeth - single guys and girls, you’re onto a (dinner) winner if you like things just the way they are! (Not to mention this is actually a healthy raw food recipe and it tastes pretty good too!)

Handful of basil leaves (optional) 6 cloves of garlic 1 great big handful of nuts (pine, cashew, almond or walnut all work well) 1/4 tsp black pepper 1/2 tsp salt 1/2 cup olive oil 1/4 cup water 1/4 cup grated cheese (parmesan or other strong hard cheese) Makes 2-3 cups of pesto.

Method: Wash and chop the kale before placing it into a large mixing bowl, along with the basil leaves if you are going for extra punch.

Peel the garlic cloves, crush them with the �lat of a knife blade to release the juices (your secret weapon) and add them to the bowl.

Roughly chop the nuts and add them to the bowl.

Usehand blender to create a light green paste from the mixture.

Add the black pepper, salt, olive oil and water and mix with a spoon.

Further chop the grated cheese into smaller pieces and sprinkle into the bowl.

Mix or blend again before serving.

- Jessie Stanier

Ingredients: 6-8 leaves of curly kale

My day on a plate: Exetah edition

Emma Pudge talks us through the typical Exeter student diet 8AM BREAKFAST: Salmon and scrambled eggs. Having heard Oxford halls serve smoked salmon, I recently made the switch to gravlax. The curing process results in a saltier taste which really compliments the coastal Devonshire air. As for choice of eggs, goose eggs are reserved for weekends, but Wellbeck Farm’s Devon Duck Eggs make a great everyday option.

1PM LUNCH: Fish Finger Stack Sandwich and curly fries at the Ram. It sounds outrageous, but the same is available from the Harvey Nichol’s café, so I’m following suit.

Wine tastes dissapointing in ‘regular’ wine glasses, but pre-drinks tomfoolery doesn’t allow for crystal 7PM DINNER: Mushroom and truf�le parpadelle. Dinner is usually vegetarian because of the environmental and �inancial rewards of not eating meat.

Plus, this makes for a quick and simple supper. I simply fry the mushrooms in truf�le oil (which Daddy kindly brought back from Provence), use my pasta machine to make thick strips of fresh parpadelle (every student kitchen ought to have a pasta machine), cook until al dente, and serve with a sprig of parsley.

9PM: Glass of wine: a glass of Cabernet Sauvignon invokes my creativity as I begin a new essay. I always think wine tastes disappointing in ‘regular’ wine glasses, but pre-drink’s tomfoolery doesn’t allow for crystal.

11PM: More wine. The more wine I drink, the more my essay takes shape.

It doesn’t surprise me that F. Scott Fitzgerald, James Joyce and Ernest Hemmingway were all alcoholics.

LIFESTYLE

Written in the stars

21

Lucien Fulcher, our resident astrologist, rubs his crystal ball(s) to predict what’s in store for Lifestyle readers this week...

Aquarius (Jan 20 – Feb 18) Jack Wills was once, for a brief moment, considered cool. That moment has long passed, and as such it would be prudent for you to burn all offending items forthwith.

Pisces (Feb 19 – Mar 20) And so begins Second Term in earnest, and you may already feel under the weather.

A cough will develop in the coming weeks, but steer clear of alcohol and you will avoid pneumonia.

Aries (Mar 21 – Apr 19) Jill, Geoff and Susan are names of people to chat heartily with this week, as they will offer a perceptive insight into a problem which has been bothering you.

Taurus (Apr 20 – May 20) Went in too hard this weekend did we? Planning to do the same again next weekend are we? The stars recommend you don’t, fool. Stay in and cuddle your housemates instead.

Gemini (May 21 – Jun 20) Up the snowy mountain, to its snowy peak, climbs the weary maiden, on her weary feet. She does not see the sky above, she ignores the gliding dove. She vows to never fall in love.

Cancer (Jun 21 – Jul 22) The pretentious façade you have taken to affecting is now starting to grate on those who really do love you. Take some time to reconnect with yourself and lighten up.

Leo (Jul 23 – Aug 22) He’ll come running back soon enough, just you wait. Remember you are a strong and vivacious sexpot who doesn’t have the patience for time wasters or double-crossers.

Virgo (Aug 23 – Sep 22) To be the best in your

class, it is essential that you put the hours in. Your newfound if transient work ethic will help you greatly in this endeavour. Lucky US State: Arkansas.

Libra (Sep 23 – Oct 22) Fetch a bottle, and celebrate the end of your Dry January by drinking solidly from now until mid-March. Along the way you will acquire a gnome and discover a passion for horticulture.

Scorpio (Oct 23 – Nov 21) A cup of tea will solve most of the world’s problems but sadly your year-long dry spell looks to be only curable with copious amounts of alcohol.

Or a personality transplant.

Sagittarius (Nov 22 – Dec 21) Pale and interesting featured heavily at the recent Paris Fashion Week, so seek to emulate this look. Recreate the Rick Owens exposed genitals look at your peril, however.

Lucky textile: hessian.

Capricorn (Dec 22 – Jan 19) What were you thinking when you decided to make your flagging or forgotten New Year’s Resolutions? Were you mad? Were you high off of a combination of drugs and alcohol? Just forget it ever happened and resolve to never do anything so silly next year.

EXEPOSÉ

SABB

ELECTIONS

GUIDE

2015

2

YOUR GUIDE

SABB ELECTIONS 2015

1-3

GUILD PRESIDENT

4-5

VP EDUCATION

6-7

VP WELFARE & DIVERSITY

8-9

VP ACTIVITIES

EXEPOSÉ

AU PRESIDENT

10-11

12

K E E P U P - TO - DAT E W I T H A L L

@Exepose

T H E E L E C T I O N C OV E R AG E

www.exepose.ex.ac.uk

facebook.com/exepose

YOUR GUIDE TO THIS YEAR’S ELECTION CONTENTS

WHAT ARE THE ROLES?

WHAT’S NEW THIS YEAR?

HOW DO I VOTE?

Ins & Outs, Survey Results, Comment

Guild President Rachael Gillies acts as Chair of the Students’ Guild and sits on a number of senior University boards, ensuring student views are heard at the highest level.

VP Education Ben Street’s role is concerned with academic experience.

VP Welfare and Diversity Kate Hawkins deals with student wellbeing.

VP Activities Matt Bate is responsible for all extra curricular activities.

Athletic Union President Andy Higham is responsible for ensuring student sporting needs are met.

Due to Sabb week’s sizeable contribution to deforestation, flyering has been banned. Look out for cruel and unusual ways of harassing the electorate - our bets are on giant video vans, messages in the sky and psychic manipulation. Officially campaign budgets are only £100, but this is Exetah...

Students can vote from 9am on 9 February until 5pm on 13 February.

2-3

Candidate Manifestos & Interviews Guild President 4-5 VP Education 6-7 VP Welfare and Diversity 8-9 VP Activities 10-11 Athletic Union President 12

In a peculiar move, the debates are set to be moved from the Alumni Auditorium to ‘The Street’ - that’s the Forum to you and me. This will mean more participation, but also more heckling from passersby - good news all round.

Even more bizarrely, the Guild weren’t able to book their own Lemmy for results night. Instead, it’ll be in DH1.

You’ll be able to vote online using computers and mobile devices. The Guild will also be operating voting terminals in the Forum and in various academic Buildings on Streatham Campus as well as St Lukes.

Results will be announced between 7 and 11pm on Friday 13 February in DH1.

Pullout design by Sarah Gough. Additional design by Natalie Clark and Chloe Glassonbury. Reporting by Josh Mines, Matt Wilcock, Harrison Jones, Gemma Joyce, Giorgi Mamuzelos, Kayley Gilbert, Emma Thomas, Rory Morgan, Eamonn Crowe, Vanessa Tracey, María Gómez de Olea, Hannah Butler and Edwin Yeung.

THE ELECTION BY NUMBERS

In 2014...

36.14% of the student population voted in the Sabbatical Elections t ighes Our h t urnou t r e v e

22% .

7 3 s a w 12

1in 201

Ther e we re

29

Sabb /AU cand idate s

That’s

6,078

students.

The second highest rate in the Russell Group

AU President

Voting Opens

8 February

9 February, 9am

AU President debate

VP Education 9 February

VP Education debate

This year...

Gui

21.7%

0

of candidates saw a parent as their Sabbs standing role model for re-election There

are

23 U

A Sabb/ dates candi

VP Activities 10 February

VP Activities debate

Over

20%

of candidates couldn’t name the current Guild based Sabbatical officers

VP Welfare and Diversity 11 February

VP Welfare and Diversity debate

President 12 February

President debate

ld P re s ide 5 nt Edu cat ion 5 Wel f a re Ac t 4 ivit ies 5 AU P re s 4 ident

10 13

female male

RESU

LTS

13 February Result night

EXEPOSÉ

SABB ELECTIONS 2015

www.exepose.com

3

WHO IS RON ANYWAY? 5 WAYS TO AVOID

SO you’ve cast your eye over all the candidates and none of them take your fancy. None of them stand out.

They’re all equally bad or good. And anyway you’re hungover. You’re perusing the paper in your pyjamas.

You’ve forgotten what a Sabb is.

Perhaps as a hungover idealist with a banging headache these students don’t chime with your lofty notions of student politics. That’s alright.

Don’t despair: there’s another option, a knight in shining armour. Let me introduce: Ron.

‘‘

Let’s weigh up the pros and Rons

Ron hand, Ron could be seen as a protest vote - a vote for apathy or indifference, for Russell Brand’s sort of apolitical political ethos. (Russell isn’t running, of course.

We don’t want the university to be a socialist sex parlour. And anyway he couldn’t run in jeans that tight).

Perhaps you are disillusioned.

That’s �ine.

Who is Ron? I hear you clamouring. Well: some say he’s so chilled out he was born in an ice cream van. Some say his mother was his father and his father is Arnold Schwarzenegger (pending a paternity test). All I know is that if you pick him he’s going to re-open those nominations. And he’s going to do it with force.

Should you go for Ron? Let’s weigh up the Pros and Rons. On the

-

You want change and you have a right to. You wanted a puppy room but all you got were two middle-aged muts. You’re a student radical and want to exercise your disdain; all you ever wanted was a room like the one in the Andrex toilet roll advert.

But perhaps – perhaps it’s better to make a wellinformed decision about the issues that will affect you – and the University – in the coming years.

The faces and voices who will be your representatives.

But if not Ron’s pretty chilled about the whole thing.

As the sixties girl-group The Crystals said: “Da doo Ron Ron, Da doo Ron Ron.”

CIARAN WILLIS

Campaign or sham-paign?

I would say that if you aren’t part of a society you do tend to feel a bit unattached from anyone who is part of it and running. I’m pretty clueless as to who is on the board and I just think people aren’t really sure what they are doing for you and the impact that they have.

Second year IR I think for a lot of people it’s like a CV thing and I don’t actually know how much power they have. We need more people in the Guild that care about student issues.

What annoys me about the whole thing is that it’s not really about their policies, it’s just about how creative their campaign is and how many stickers they put up.

I think the entire thing is a popularity contest. For a lot of people I think it’s more about recognising a face I know, which really isn’t how it should be, but that’s just student politics.

Third year History

Second year Geography

I read the manifestos for AU as I’m involved in the AU, but I don’t care or read any of the others.

I think the ban on flyering good as it causes less annoyance throughout the week. But it is restrictive as a lot of people won’t go online. People will try and use Facebook and Twitter but it’s a much harder medium to exploit than actually being here and being seen.

Second year Middle Eastern Studies

GETTING CAMPAIGNED AT

1. Take alternative routes to campus

Everyone knows that during Sabb week, Forum hill becomes a mine�ield of ridiculous out�its, cheesy slogans and pseudo-political jargon. So why not take this as an opportunity to explore some of the lesser known, Sabb free routes to your lectures? Who knew the path to the Forum via Birks was so picturesque?

2. Dress as a Sabb

Become the Splinter Cell of Exeter and hide in plain site from your annoying adversaries. Dust off that old fancy dress costume, apply a punny slogan to your face and bingo, you’re just another Sabb on your way to a busy day of picketing students. Not only will your ‘competition’ �lat out avoid you, but everybody else will too. Just don’t forget a spare pair of clothes.

3. Stay at home altogether

Let’s be honest, there’s nothing that you need to be on campus for. Apart from your degree. But some things just aren’t worth the stress. Ignore the

strain of Sabb elections altogether and take a week off at home, far from the grasps of wannabe campus Camerons.

4. Pretend not to speak English

Que? For one week turn yourself into the mysterious exchange student struggling to adjust to the heavy Exeter dialect. Be creative! Throw in a few puzzled expressions and fancy foreign words to add extra authenticity to your disguise.

5. Total ignorance

Simple, yet effective. Curse, scowl, barge, spit, anything to make you the most unpleasant, ignorant arsehole at university who couldn’t care less about the guild and their elections.

Before long, no one will want to be associated with you ever again, let alone the campaigners on Forum Hill. You do run the risk of alienating a friend or two, but if it means some peace and quiet in Sabb week, it’s probably worth the sacri�ice.

JOSH MINES

What does Exeter really think of campaign week?

I think I find it more interesting now than I did in my first year.

Obviously, in my first year I wasn’t so aware of how important they were and the work that they do, whereas now, especially because we are running a society, we know how important it is to elect the right person. It makes a huge difference to us and how successful our campaigns will be.

Second year Anthopology I think the entire week is really badly advertised. I really don’t know anything about it or why you would run in the first place. What exactly am I in for?

First Year English I think it’s quite a fun week on campus. There’s a big presence and the atmosphere feels American. The Forum is absolutely buzzing.

Third Year Drama

I think it’s good that they aren’t doing any flyering this year. They won’t be annoying people and they’ll have to come up with more creative ways to campaign.

Second year Law I really don’t care about the elections.

Whatever they do and whatever benefit they offer clearly isn’t well represented. This might just be me being ignorant but it’s more of a social thing anyway. It’s exactly the same as it was in school, all the popular kids just get the best positions. What does Sabb stand for anyway?

Third Year Maths & Economics

4

YOUR GUIDE

SABB ELECTIONS 2015

1-3

GUILD PRESIDENT

4-5

VP EDUCATION

6-7

Each candidate’s manifesto plus

HENRY CARE

VP WELFARE & DIVERSITY

8-9

1

VP ACTIVITIES

10-11

EXEPOSÉ

AU PRESIDENT

12

First word they associate with Exeter?

GUILD PR

Age: 22 Subject: Mechanical Engineering Societies: Ultimate Frisbee

MARIA FINNERTY Age: 21 Subject: Politics, Philosophy and Economics Societies: Campus Bands, Labour Students, Fem Soc, Surf Club, Politics

PETRA JONES Age: 20

Subject: International Relations Societies: A Cappella, Concert Band, Amnesty, Gilbert & Sullivan

WELL I only get 100 words…

Me: ·4th year Engineering Masters ·4 years working in the RAM and Lemmy ·Environment and Ethics of�icer 13/14 ·Current Student Trustee From these experiences I have a solid understanding of the Guild and their activities.

Manifesto points: ·Standing up to the University on key issues such as accommodation prices and the working day extension ·Campaign to lengthen the January exam period

IF elected, I would seek to make Guild resources more accessible and ensure our university experience isn’t compromised by increasing student numbers, in three key ways: - Doing away with unnecessary bureaucracy that hinders societies and individuals in accessing support.

Proper advertisement of Guild resources and student campaigns.

- Defending students from the negative impacts of higher student numbers, such as longer teaching days and a lack of space and funding. Who wants to get up for 8:30am lectures?

- Lobbying to lower prices on campus – food, services and Gym memHI, I’m Petra Jones. For the last three years I’ve dreamt of being your Guild President. Many of you have told me how you see Exeter looking in a years’ time- it looks mighty �ine; so let’s make it happen.

I’m calling for a Guild app, more transparency, and ‘Spring Break’- an on-campus party putting Exeter back on the map. Thinking election week will be dull? Think again, because you’re in for a treat. My creativity, experience and ideas, alongside your voice, will enable us to realise this vision of OUR Exeter; de�initely the best University in the world…

·Increased space available for society activities and promotion ·Expansion of the Guild Shop and RAM bar ·Online diary of society events and talks ·Overhaul and extension of Guild activities of St Luke’s

‘‘

Expansion of the Guild shop bership should not be more expensive than in town.

‘‘

Make Guild resources more accessible

1. Fun.

2. Eddie Izzard. He’s really inspira-

‘‘

Spring Break on-campus party

1. Home!

2. George Clooney’s wife. I just completely fell in love with her. What’s her name? Amal something. She’s using her public image to impress on her work, which is how I think most

1. South

2. Probably my Mum, do you want reasons? Well, she gave up a promising career to bring up kids and then went back into politics.

3. The number of students, it’s far outgrowing what the University can support at its current size - at the end of the day it’s affecting the students, it’s affecting the University and its affecting the whole area.

4. You’ve got Kate, Matt, Ben and of course Rachael. And the AU President is Andy Higham.

tional in most of the things he does like running a record number of marathons for charity, performing in multiple different languages, and even dealing with the criticism for being a transvestite.

3. Growing student numbers. I think everyone is going to feel the difference if the University continues to increase numbers and doesn’t improve the infrastructure.

4. Yes. I work with them every week for Guild Council; Rachael Gillies, Kate Hawkins, Ben Street, Matt Bate and Andy Higham. people should be. I think more people in the public eye should do that.

3. I think the biggest issue is the relationship between the Guild and the University. The University should use our societies. We’ve got 200 societies and some of the most talented people in the UK, and so whenever the University is sourcing anything, they should go straight to the Guild.

4. Yes, I can! Matt Bate, Kate Hawkins, Ben Street and Rachael Gillies.

EXEPOSÉ

2

SABB ELECTIONS 2015

www.exepose.com

Their role model?

3

Biggest issue facing Exeter?

4

5

Name the current Sabbs

RESIDENT I HAVE 100 words, to sell myself and my campaign, 100 words to earn your vote. However, my message to you only needs six: Be SHAW your voice is heard.

The other candidates will be good.

So what separates me? Passion, ambition, and my drive for change.

Many students feel disengaged from the Guild, and the reality is the majority of you won’t vote! But… if you feel things could - and should - be better, vote.

I want YOUR VOICES to be heard.

It takes two minutes. Two minutes to be SHAW your voice is heard. beSHAWyourvoiceisheard.co.uk

‘‘

Many students feel disengaged 1. Passion, because I’m passionate about Exeter.

LOVE, Join, Talk with LJT. There are three areas I want to tackle…

LOVE: Improve student wellbeing by offering free exercise classes and healthier food on campus. Make editable timetables available on MyExeter.

JOIN: Introduce a fortnightly ‘Student Spotlight’ and ‘Society Spotlight’ with rewards. Investigate a permanent member of staff at St Luke’s.

TALK: Urge the University to reevaluate the teaching day changes.

Move the Housing Fair to Term One. My manifesto is a solid threestep plan to improve every student’s

experience. These are changes that can and will be implemented if you vote for me. LJT.

THE recurring issues appear to be the extension of the teaching day, increasing student numbers and advertising the Guild better. Clearly, the previous two are some of the biggest issues facing students and the latter is a way to raise the Guild’s pro�ile. All of these sentiments should be applauded, particularly in light of a signi�icant number of those running for Sabbatical positions failing to name all of the current of�icers.

Perhaps more interesting is the fact that none of the candidates

have made an issue of campaigning for Exeter at a national level: all

‘‘

I admire JK Rowling’s perseverance 1. Hilly.

2. J.K. Rowling is a massive inspiration. I admire her creativity, her

2. A lot of people end up saying their mum or their dad so I’ll say my mum and my dad. I think that inspiration is someone who’s done something very signi�icant, even through little things.

3. My main policy is to make the Students’ Guild a hub for the students’ voice. I might not be able to provide everything that the students want but I want their voices to be acknowledged and to do what best we can for as many students as we can.

4. Kate Hawkins, Matt Bate, Ben Street, Rachael Gillies, Andy Higham. perseverance. She’s a very successful and powerful woman. She’s got a lot of integrity, and I think I can only hope that I’d emulate that.

3. Not a lot of people know what the Guild has to offer. I think there are so many facilities that the Guild has: societies; welfare stuff; housing advice; outlets; and so much of it really adds to student experience.

CALLUM KUMAR-SHAW

Age: 21 Subject: Masters in International Management Societies: Snowsports, Football

LAURA-JANE TILEY Age: 21 Subject: English Societies: Societies Of�icer, Exeposé

4. Rachael Gillies, who is Guild President, Ben Street, who’s VP Education, Matt Bate, who is VP Activities, and Kate Hawkins, who is VP Welfare & Diversity.

Exeposé Verdict

‘‘

A signi�icant number failed to name all of the current of�icers

of these manifestos are basically apolitical.

This is also one of the only set of candidates not to mention some sort of puppy room ‘spin off’ - the de-stressing rooms are a notable exclusion compared to other roles.

Credential wise, two candidates would very much be ‘appointments from within’: Callum and Laura-Jane are clear ‘Guildys,’ well known amongst staff after holding prominent positions within the Guild Henry is an alternative, rugged

option with outsider and insider perspective, labelling aspects of Gillies’ Presidency during Exeposé interviews a “complete failure.”

Meanwhile, Maria is Labour President and heavily experienced in campaigning - watch out for her in the debates. Finally, Petra, well known amongst musical societies and for her involvement in Amnesty International, has three policies unique to herself.

6

YOUR GUIDE

SABB ELECTIONS 2015

1-3

GUILD PRESIDENT

4-5

VP EDUCATION

6-7

Each candidate’s manifesto plus

CHARLIE EVANS Age: 21 Subject: Economics and Politics Societies: Darts, Debating, Exeposé, Welsh

GEORGE FLOWER Age: 20 Subject: Classics & Ancient History Societies: Classics, Hide & Seek, Archaeology

BETHAN JONES Age: 21 Subject: Maths Societies: Sweet Nothings, XpressionFM, Footlights, Shotgun, Orchestra

VP WELFARE & DIVERSITY

8-9

1

VP ACTIVITIES

10-11

EXEPOSÉ

AU PRESIDENT

12

First word they associate with Exeter?

VP EDUC

MY name is Charlie Evans. I am Economics Subject Chair, Darts Society President, Debating Society Social Secretary and a proud advocate of free education.

• Securing a Reading Week in Week 6 for ALL students.

• Fighting for an extension of the January Exams Period.

• Rolling out Peer Learning schemes across every discipline.

• Lobbying the university to slow down student growth.

• Securing more funding and handing more power to Academic Representatives.

I’M George, and I’m running to be your VP Education. For the past three years, I have represented students on my course, as Student Rep, and Subject Chair. I have experience with student groups, being active within the Classics Society, and have volunteered teaching local schoolchildren. I‘m familiar with the Student’s Guild, what it does well, and where improvements can be made – and I believe I have the experience, expertise and drive, to be YOUR student voice for Education. My manifesto points fall into my priorities for what I will strive for within the Guild: Representation, Communication, Resources, and Support.

MY name is Bethan Jones and I want to BEE your VP of Education. I am passionate about improving your education and tailoring it to your needs. I will use the knowledge and insight I have gained both from focus groups with students from all areas of the University and meetings with members of the Guild to make YOUR education better. My manifesto revolves around four main themes: for students to BEE provided with the best resources, BEE recognised for going beyond academic work, BEE supported, and BEE involved in academic research.

I am ‘your golden ticket to a better education’ so vote Charlie ‘The Chocolate Factory’ Evans for Education.

‘‘

I’m going to say my father

1. Countryside.

2. Although corny, although cheesy, I’m going to say my father, because he’s helped me in the past. He’s a headteacher, so... I’ve got a massive

‘‘

I think maybe that Exeter’s not a big enough city

passion for education.

3. Overcrowding of the University.

We’re seeing massive student growth and we don’t have the resources and the facilities for students to have a proper high quality academic experience. We’ve got overcrowding of lectures, we’ve seen our teaching day extended, we’ve seen high student/staff ratios: at the moment students aren’t getting enough for their £9,000.

4. I can name the current Sabbs. Rachel Gillies is President, Kate Hawkins is VP Welfare, Matt Bate is Activities and Ben is Education. inner state school in New York.

3. I think maybe that it’s not… a big enough city to accommodate everyone’s different tastes and interests.

4. Rachel Gillies, Kate Hawkins, Ben Street, Matt Bate and Andy Higham.

1. Engaging.

2. Um, that kid Vidal that’s on ‘Humans of New York’ all the time and has raised tonnes of money for his

‘‘

There’s just not enough staff 1. Home

2. I sound like I’m sucking up, but Ben Street has been so helpful, I’ve been talking to him, he’s so inspiring how much he loves this job and how much he wants to make a difference to Exeter and really really cares, and

I think that’s the most important thing.

3. In regards to education, there’s obviously a huge issue which is dif�icult to change: the increasing number of students, and the problem of the staff/student ratio. There’s just not enough staff to help students with all their problems and needs.

4. Yeah, so there’s Ben Street, obviously, there’s Rachel Gillies as President, Matt Bate as Activities, Andy Higham for AU and Kate Hawkins.

EXEPOSÉ

2

Their role model?

3

Biggest issue facing Exeter?

CATION MY name is Shumi Kadir and I am currently at my �inal stage of studies.

I am running for Vice President of Education this year and want to defend your education system. I believe that quality of education is the most important factor in a student’s decision to study at Exeter University.

With your vote I shall make sure that I work closely in collaboration with Exeter University in order to improve the standard of your education. With your vote…together…we can make a change!

I’M Joe Levy, an archaeology and anthropology student standing for VP Education. I am the publicity of�icer for the Green Party society.

I am standing on the following platforms: • Free education • Oppose the extension of the teaching day to prevent potential detrimental effects on local students and staff and those with families • Re-assess room usage and ensure small lecture sizes • Continue to open up research through Research Uncovered • Expand peer assisted learning service online I want to defend your right to a free,

SABB ELECTIONS 2015

www.exepose.com

‘‘

This is embarrassing. Ben?

4

7

Name the current Sabbs

SHUMI KADIR

this is embarrassing. Ben? Ummm… dunno.

Age: 25 Subject: Clinical Medicine with Biosciences and Business

1. Green.

2. Angelina Jolie.

Societies: Fashion Soc

3. Study spaces. There aren’t enough spaces to study on Campus.

4. Uhhh… Rachel… I actually can’t, high quality education, but I can only do so with your vote.

‘‘

I was crying my eyes out

1. Countryside.

2. Kirsty MacColl. She’s the singer on Fairytale of New York by The Pogues and she wrote a lot of songs but she died in 2000 because she was pushing her two sons out of the way of an oncoming speed boat, so

really, really very tragic. Actually I was crying my eyes out watching a documentary about her last night, it was really really sad!

3. I think it’s an issue which affects most universities probably, which is cost. Everything from the cost of the actual education itself, which is the broader tuition fees and maintenance allowance also down to the basic cost of living of how much things cost. Money is usually, I �ind, the biggest issue.

JOE LEVY Age: 20 Subject: Archaeology & Anthropology Societies: Green Party, Archaeology, LGBTQ+

4. Rachael Gillies, Ben Street...That’s really bad isn’t it? I get confused between years. I can see their faces!

Exeposé Verdict THE VP Education candidates are keen on their buzzwords: research, resources and study space all feature prominently in discourse surrounding the quality of Exeter education.

Given the word count, perhaps some of the candidates have succumbed to broad language that lacks any speci�ic points to chime with voters. The clear focus on research may sound similar to Ben Street’s ambitions to open it up to students, with Research Uncovered proving popular over the past year following his pledge to promote it. The teach-

ing day and more resources are also focussed upon, as they should be.

‘‘

Education seems to be a very open contest Most candidates focus heavily on undergraduate students, largely

neglecting to even mention issues facing postgrads. Recorded lectures, contact hours, value for money and using the library are also notable omissions, but education is a broad topic and these may well be more prominent in �inal manifestos.

Education seems to be a very open contest. Fresh off the back of organising the Natalie Bennett talk, Joe is arguably the most explicitly political candidate running in this election, whilst Charlie Evans is also outspoken on the issue of Free Education and led the Leave NUS cam-

paign.

Shumi may well have a creative campaign up her sleeve and could have big backing from more arty societies, but her manifesto and interview left much to be expanded on. Don’t underestimate the support Bethan could garner from her societies - she’s in a similar position to Ben Street last year. Meanwhile, George’s experiences as a student rep could prove invaluable. With potentially �iery speakers among the candidates the debate will be one to watch.

8

SABB ELECTIONS 2015

YOUR GUIDE

1-3

GUILD PRESIDENT

4-5

VP EDUCATION

6-7

Each candidate’s manifesto plus

VP WELFARE & DIVERSITY

8-9

1

VP ACTIVITIES

10-11

AU PRESIDENT

12

EXEPOSÉ

First word they associate with Exeter?

VP WELFARE NAOMI ARMSTRONG Age: 20 Subject: Psychology Societies: Cycling, ECU, Kor�ball, Afro-Carribean

JOSH CREEK Age: 21

Subject: English with Pro�iciency in French Societies: Exeposé, Hide & Seek, Badminton, Sociology & Anthropology

• CAMPAIGN for street lights on Hoopern lane, Duryard route and Cowley Bridge Road • Extension of January exam period • All lectures captured • More healthy, vegetarian and vegan food options • Leftover food donated to DCFA • University accommodation price freeze • More investment in preventative wellbeing support (Voice, Chaplaincy team, Tutors), reducing pressure on reactive support (Wellbeing centre) • KitKat (break) room incorporated into refurbishment of library making studying more ef�icient and relieving stress levels.

• Reduce stigma of joining nationality

I’M Josh, a third year English student. Here’s a condensed version of my manifesto: - reduce wellbeing centre waiting times by: + training personal tutors in basic wellbeing, providing students links to other services apart from the centre, e.g. VOICE + wellbeing email course (e.g. mindfulness) + increased funding - improve housing by: + housing fair website companion + only accredited landlords present + housemate �inder + improved communications about housing including available services like contact checking

based societies for students not of that nationality.

• Support for students staying in Exeter over holidays.

• Refurbishment of X-keys • Increase mentor support for postgraduates

‘‘

Kit-Kat break room 1. Green, because I know Exeter has one of the largest collections of �lora and fauna in the country, and the highest tree to student ratio. I know that

- fortnightly sabb vlog reporting on progress and making Sabbs more approachable - desserts in the Ram - society �irst aid training

‘‘

Desserts in the Ram 1. University.

2. Trudy Canavan. She is an Australian artist who always wanted to be a novelist but she needed an income behind her so she quit her job,

from student ambassador stuff.

2. I’ll go for my dad. He’s really cool.

He’s the kind of person who sees something that needs to be improved, and instead of just the big thinking he works out how practically to make that happen. He can actually make big changes that some people only dream of doing.

3. There’s always things you can improve on… I’ll go with diversity.

4. Yeah. Rachael Gillies, Kate Hawkins, Ben Street, Matt Bate and Andy Higham.

opened up her own art practice and worked late into the night until she could start writing full time. She is now an author. She persevered and it worked.

3. The inability of the welfare centre and wellbeing system here to cope with the level of demand for it.

4. Yes! Rachael Gillies is President.

Ben Street is Education, Kate Hawkins is Welfare and Diversity and of course we have our lovely Activities guy whose name momentarily escapes me, which is really awkward, the guy I’ve known the longest. Oh god… I’ve known him for like two years. Yeah, that’s terrible.

De-stress spaces continue: expectation vs reality?

SPACE on campus has been raised in numerous manifestos, whether in the context of societies, studying or teaching. Likewise with student wellbeing; the Wellbeing Centre as well as the handling of welfare issues at early stages feature regularly. Several candidates have voiced their willingness to overcome the struggle for space on campus and install permanent spaces with the sole purpose of relaxation and destressing.

The idea might remind voters

of Rachael Gillies’ infamous ‘Puppy Room,’ particularly with Exeposé’s coverage of its reception in recent months. Feasability is key here, and with students �ighting for spaces in the library, candidates looking to dedicate space for, dare we say, ‘trivial’ exploits might struggle to �ind any.

Some things, as we have learnt, are too good to be true and candidates should bear that in mind when they submit their full manifestos.

Rachael Gillies’ self illustrated vision for the Puppy Room, published in Exeposé, 4 March 2014

EXEPOSÉ

2

Their role model?

SABB ELECTIONS 2015

www.exepose.com

3

Biggest issue facing Exeter?

4

9

Name the current Sabbs?

& DIVERSITY I AM a 3rd Year Classics and English Lit student who has worked for the Student’s Guild in numerous capacities for my entire University life, as well as being a member of the Lacrosse Club.

My manifesto for VP Welfare and Diversity consists of several set-piece campaigns and pledges, ranging from a housing campaign and the freezing of rents on campus, a drive to raise sexual and mental health awareness on campus and the creation of a relaxation “nap” room to help take the edge off student stress during exam periods.

I’D be honoured to be your VP Welfare and Diversity to support you all.

Key Pledges: Make: A ‘Think Positive’ mental health awareness campaign.

Campus more body-positive.

An accommodation rent freeze.

Engage: Implement a safety survey to tackle students’ safety concerns.

Enhance your student experience, introducing a Press the Button link online to talk to your Sabbs.

Guarantee: Further “Never Ok” giving students a platform to seek help and advice.

SURPRISE surprise, the Wellbeing Centre, student safety and housing are the big issues. Mental health links well and is also prominent, which is exactly how it should be.

Actually dealing with it effectively when they get elected will be the issue the lucky winner faces.

Interestingly, Harry is the only one to mention lad culture, though Josh’s manifesto is perhaps the most alternative.

The extension of the teaching day, which featured heavily in Presidential statements, is surprisingly

1. Probably hills... de�initely hills! Hills!

2. Jason Statham

ties… And is it Andy Higham? The AU president ?

3. The problem with so-called Lad Culture and all the stigma surrounding it.

‘‘

HARRY HANCOCK Age: 21 Subject: Classics and English Societies: Classics, Lacrosse

A relaxation “nap” room

4. Absolutely! Love the Sabbs; Rachael Gillies, Guild President; Ben Street, VP Education; Kate Hawkins, VP Welfare and Diversity; Matt Bate, VP ActiviTo continue to reduce waiting times at the welfare centre.

To develop a Get Home Safe scheme.

‘‘

Develop a Get Home Safe scheme 1. Community.

2. Laura Bates, the founder of Everyday Sexism. She’s created a platform for people to talk about sexism, and

the issues both genders face. She’s provided a great platform to talk about this and tackle it. She’s written for The Guardian loads and she’s just generally amazing.

3. Tackling mental health issues.

From my friends’ experiences and speaking to people in focus groups, social anxiety and body con�idence issues are big ones. Students need to know they can talk to people about this in a safe environment.

MEG LAWRENCE Age: 22 Subject: History Societies: Exeposé, Femsoc

4. Rachael Gillies is Guild President, Ben Street is Education, Matt Bate does Activities, Kate Hawkins is Welfare, Andy Higham is AU President.

Exeposé Verdict

neglected by VP Welfare & Diversity candidates.

‘‘

The extension of the teaching day is surprisingly neglected

The move, which could see students with family commitments suffer due to inconvenient teaching hours, is one that the Guild have expressed their dissatisfaction with this year. While the candidates make pledges on a broad range of topics perhaps breadth sacrifices detail in some areas.

All of these candidates have the backing of big societies. Harry and Naomi may well be seen as the ‘cheeky, fun’ options, whilst Meg seems the most similar to Kate Hawkins and has experience of a

similar position at a national level.

Josh, on the other hand, appears to have a modern, interactive approach to welfare issues, appropriate given his techie background.

Look out for a debate packed with agreement and well meaning sentiment, but the possibility of questions about viability amongst all the good-intentioned, but potentially ambitious, visions.

10

YOUR GUIDE

SABB ELECTIONS 2015

1-3

GUILD PRESIDENT

4-5

VP EDUCATION

6-7

Each candidate’s manifesto plus

JOHN CHILVERS Age: 19 Subject: Politics Societies: Labour Party, Fem Soc, Politics, Debating, Hide and Seek, Exeposé

SAM JOHNSON Age: 20

Subject: Maths Societies: Chamber & Symphony Orchestra, Game of Thrones, Harry Potter, Hide & Seek, Gilbert & Sullivan

KATIE O’CONNOR Age: 20 Subject: Drama Societies: Xpression FM, Netball

VP WELFARE & DIVERSITY

8-9

1

VP ACTIVITIES

10-11

AU PRESIDENT

12

EXEPOSÉ

First word they associate with Exeter?

VP ACTI

• Oppose increasing student numbers – Accepting extra students each year is threatening our student experience. Class sizes are bigger, it’s harder for your society to �ind space and longer teaching days means less time for societies • Refreshers fair – An after January exams freshers’ fair with half-price society membership - for those who missed out or weren’t active members in Term 1.

• A one off slide down the forum – a gigantic side running down forum hill after January exams. Bristol have it, why can’t we?

• Empower societies – online crowd

My main manifesto points are based around defending societies from problems stemming from the University’s planned growth in student numbers. Some ways I’d do this are by ring-fencing a portion of the Annual Fund for societies, and by pushing through plans to open up the Terrace restaurant as a bookable space for societies. I’d also really prioritise a constant review of the impact of next year’s timetable changes on societies, and pressure the University to take action to reduce this impact.

I’m also interested in introducing a ‘re-freshers’ week in term two for more society taster sessions. #OCONNORCAN...

- Attract more bands, comedians and events to campus.

- Make information about your societies available via exehub, including events budgets, contacts.

- Open up new spaces, and fully utilise existing ones, for groups to rehearse, meet and enjoy.

- Allocate smaller societies and student groups a fairer proportion of society grants.

- Lobby the university to renovate X-Keys on St. Luke’s.

- Organise a “Refreshers Fair” in January.

- Create an Activities Fair later into Term 1 for international students.

funding, alumni network and more advertising space All policies guild approved.

away and got really into student life.

A one off slide down the forum

3. Student numbers. The extension of the teaching day means that there’s less time and space for societies. That’s why I’m standing in as a second year, I think this is really a massive issue that we need to tackle now.

‘‘

1. Welcoming. I was quite nervous as a �irst year, I was daunted about not knowing anyone, but I found it so welcoming and friendly straight

‘‘

Introducing a ‘re-freshers’ week 1. I am tempted to say fun. I guess I’ve really enjoyed my two and a half years here.

2. Natalie Bennett. I went to her Exeter talk and found her really inspiring. I had a lot of respect for her as a politician. I really felt like she said - Promote and support smaller student publications.

- And puddings in the RAM!

‘‘

Attract more bands, comedians and events

1. Bubble. Everything’s on campus for you to do, and if not, it’s not much further.

2. Clement Attlee, the Prime Minister who created the National Health Service. I’m so proud that we live in a country with free health care.

4. Matt Bate, Ben Street, Rachael Gillies and Kate Hawkins.

what she believed, not what she thought people wanted to hear.

3. Planned and ongoing growth in student numbers. Of course puts a lot of pressure on all sorts of different things. From my perspective theres a lot of pressure on societies and for activities. In terms of space and in terms of funding. All that needs to increase with the increase of student numbers.

4. Matt Bate Activities. Kate Hawkins is Welfare, Rachael Gillies President.

Ben Street Education and Andy Higham AU. 2. I want to say my dad, but that’s a bit lame isn’t it? But he made himself out of nothing, he didn’t really have a start in life, and he does really well now. I couldn’t be at uni without the support my parents give, so that’s an inspiration, to think ‘yeah, I’ve got to do them proud,’ and be like them, too, in the future.

3. Maybe complacency, and just letting things happen because they’re the status quo.

4. Kate Hawkins, Ben Street, Rachael Gillies, Matt Bate, and do you want the AU Pres? Andy ‘Hyman.’

EXEPOSÉ

2

Their role model?

3

Biggest issue facing Exeter?

TIVITIES IMPROVING spaces for activities and promotion, simplifying society processes & improving the arts & culture provisions are my main goals for the year: Opening up more spaces for free & simple student bookings (Terrace/Great Hall) and working with the drama department are crucial steps I want to take!

Participation: Postgrad communications, student ideas and showcasing international culture are as important as good employability provisions and a minimized impact of the new teaching day: Keep Wednesday afternoons free!

I BELIEVE that, whilst there is already a lot of focus on personal development through the University and the Guild, there needs to be a greater impetus on recognising and rewarding each individuals’ academic and recreational accomplishments on a grass root level.

Our university societies are intrinsic to further skill development. I wish to encourage individuals to begin and continue to engage with the things they love by actively rewarding participation thus enabling them to develop a range of key skills that I believe are crucial to employability. That is why I’m running for Vice President of Activities and Volunteering.

SABB ELECTIONS 2015

www.exepose.com

Green Unit: I want to ensure the Green Unit stays alive!

Lastly: A slip’n’slide in Exeter after summer exams: Bristol can - so do we!

‘‘

Opening up more spaces for free 1. Trees.

‘‘

Creating an environment for individual success 1. Interesting.

2. Nelson Mandela. Cliché, but yeah.

3. I think the biggest issue is really understanding how individuals operate and creating an environment for

4

2. Bill Gates.

3. The University is focused very much on running a business rather than focusing on the student experience at the moment and very focused on getting their spot on the top 100 and could care more about what students actually want.

4. Rachael Gillies for President, Matt Bate for Activities, Kate Hawkins for Welfare and Diversity, Ben Street for Education and Andy at the Sports Park for AU, Andy Higham.

individual success. That environment should be primarily focused on what each individual loves and wants to do, because if you’re stuck in an atmosphere where you’re not really doing what you enjoy, you get stuck in a rut and you never really achieve your full potential.

4. VP Activites, Matt Bate, VP Education Ben Street, VP Welfare and Diversity, Kate Hawkins and President... is a very very lovely person. I don’t know who the AU president is either.

Age: 20

11

Name the current Sabbs

NIK RAHMEL

Subject: Information Technology Management for Business Societies: XTV, Exeposé, Exetech, Doctor Who, Photo Soc, Film Soc, Shotgun, Xpression FM

KWASI YEBOAH Age: 20 Subject: Law Societies: Dance Soc, Fashion Soc, EUTCO, Theatre With Teeth, Bracton Law Society, Soul Choir

Exeposé Verdict THERE’S a notable coherence between most of the candidates this year, the most common proposals being to maximise society spaces and for a ‘re-freshers’ fair, both of which are vital and overdue. Mentions of timetable changes and growing student numbers are also recurrent, but speci�ic solutions remain to be proposed (unless you count the twice-mentioned campus slip’n’slide).There’s the usual talk of empowering societies, but how far that can actually be implemented if

‘‘

elected is dif�icult to say.

Speci�ic solutions remain to be proposed Notably absent are many propos-

als regarding student media, other than Xpression’s Katie, whose proposed championing about smaller publications (as well as societies) is commendable, but perhaps dif�icult to be even handed. The other media-type amongst the candidates is XTV’s Nik, whose Trustee position also affords him a ‘Guildy’ status - a breadth of involvement re�lected in his wide, ambitious proposals.

Sam represents a wide spread, probably being the favourite across both music and fandom societies

with quite measured proposals around society �inance and space.

As the successful head of ‘Stay in the NUS’, John is well known amongst various politicos and has proved his salt in campaigning, lending some weight to his points on society empowerment.

And Kwasi can claim ‘almostBNOC’ status after losing out on the Tab’s yearly �inal by only a few votes - his mini-manifesto is suitably stylish, and we look forward to seeing the substance that comes with it.

12

YOUR GUIDE

SABB ELECTIONS 2015

1-3

GUILD PRESIDENT

4-5

VP EDUCATION

6-7

VP WELFARE & DIVERSITY

8-9

VP ACTIVITIES

10-11

AU PRESIDENT

12

EXEPOSÉ

AU PRESIDENT JACK BRISTOW Age: 20 Subject: History and Politics Sports: Triathlon, Cycling, Swimming

BRONWYN MCLEAN Age: 20 Subject: Sports Science Sport: Hockey

JOSIE VICKERS Age: 20 Subject: Sport and Exercise Science Sport: Tennis

CHARLIE WHITWORTH Age: 20 Subject:Economics Sport: Hockey

and achieve anything he wants to.

MY name is Jack Bristow. I’m running to be your AU President. This is what I stand for: Setting up a fortnightly studentrun magazine for university sports news and features.

Empowering sporting LGBT students by setting up a leadership training programme for LGBT students in AU clubs.

Establishing a women’s 6-a-side football league on the intra-mural calendar before consulting on the best ways to expand the women’s

intra-mural programme further.

I will set up more BUCS teams to ensure there are more opportunities for students who want to represent their university at a competitive level.

BRONWYN McLean, three years a member of EULHC, tour sec and current 3rds and Saturday league captain, social secretary.

And sitting on the AU exec as ST Luke’s rep.

Thought my unique experience working with the AU and being in event organizing positions I feel this is where I’m strongest and I feel I have the most experience. currently EULHC are organizing the �irst women’s 50 varsity and I hope to have this with other sports.

Developing smaller clubs by having events showcasing their talent, increasing participation, teams entered into BUCS and ultimately becoming 3rd in BUCs ranking #greenarmy #thedreamismclean

I’M Josie Vickers and I’d love to be your AU president next year.

Through my participation in the Tennis club committee, BUCS sport and intramural, I have considered points that I think will most bene�it students: More intramural sports bringing students together in a fun atmosphere!

Continue our BUCS success with more funding support to generate more BUCS teams.

January post-exam sports taster

week with half price membership.

Improved student-AU communication via student forums and weekly drop-in sessions.

Regular email updates regarding BUCS �ixtures and intramural events plus a revamped sporting section on the iExeter app.

JUMP4JOSIE!

2. Your role model?

I would actually say I see Andy Higham as an inspiration.

BUCS: I want to add more teams to the BUCS leagues which means more BUCS points. We have the potential to break into the top 3 in the BUCS tables.

Student Coaching: Offer more coaching courses at the university and increase the participation in the Sports Volunteering Scheme.

I want to improve your perception of the AU and make it welcoming to those who visit. As your AU President, I aim to attend events for each of the 49 AU clubs.

Intramural is very social so I want to increase participation, but also use it for recruitment to AU clubs.

know quite well through that.

1. First word you associate with Exeter?

Dedication.

2. Your role model?

Sir Bradley Wiggins. He basically has the ability to focus on so much

1. First word you associate with Exeter?

Sport. It’s why I came here.

2. Your role model?

Brian O’Driscoll, Ireland Rugby team captain. He’s just inspirational.

1. First word you associate with Exeter?

Green.

1. First word you associate with Exeter?

Success.

2. Your role model?

Alex Danson. She is an England and GB hockey international who I was privileged to have been coached by numerous times and have got to

3. Biggest issue at Exeter?

There are so many people who are involved in sport already but there is still a possibility for more. So a lot of my policies are about making sport more inclusive for everyone.

4. Name the current Sabbs.

Rachael is the President. Andy is obviously the AU president. Matt Bate is the Welfare. And that’s about it I’m afraid.

3. Biggest issue at Exeter?

Probably the communication between students and the higher bodies. There was a massive thing this year with the Football Varsity being cancelled. Students were told at the last minute, and there was a big uproar.

4. Name the current Sabbs.

You’ve got Matthew Bate, Rachael Brooks, Andy Higham obviously, and I can’t think of the other two.

3. Biggest issue at Exeter?

Communication. There are loads of great things going on with the Guild and the AU but I think the message isn’t relayed quite well enough.

4. Name the current Sabbs.

Ben Street, Matt Bate, Kate Hawkins, Rachael Gillies… and then obviously Andy Higham.

3. Biggest issue at Exeter?

I �ind that there can be a divide between different groups of people and that can sometimes get in the way. I think that needs to change.

4. Name the current Sabbs.

Andy Higham is the AU president. Guild President is Rachael Gillies, then it’s Ben Street, Matt Bate and Kate Hawkins.

EXEPOSÉ

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MUSIC

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Kate Burgess & Tristan Gatward music@exepose.com LIKE OUR FACEBOOK PAGE Exeposé Music

Back and broken: Björk’s heartfelt return Tristan Gatward, Music Editor, talks the highs and lows of Björk’s new release Björk Vulincura 20 January 2015

“SO TEENAGE, so simple.” So Björk willingly describes her lyrics on ninth studio album Vulnicura. The title is Latin, literally translated from ‘vulnus’ plus ‘cura,’ a cure for wounds.

Three songs into the record, though, and you’re left desperately crawling through the many many vulnus(es) for this cura. There is no cura.

The record chronicles the Icelandic icon’s overly publicised split from San Francisco artist Matthew Barney; but it would be banal to simply term Vulnicura a break-up record. It is a discredit to the album to describe it in any less obviously verbose terms than devastating. It is the break-up album to break up all other breakup albums with their crying masses.

It shuf�les Nick Drake’s sound into the cheerful jazzy realms of ‘My Boy Lollipop.’ Did you hear that insistent speech he made about how he “only makes music to make people happy”?

That was 40 years late, and in reply to Vulnicura.

Lyrically, it’s some of her worst writing. It sounds like she’s hired a 12 year old boy, crouching in the corner of the school playground wearing his ennui-stained �ingerless gloves as a metaphor for how his soul is broken.

“Did I love you too much?/ Devotion bent me broken.” Teenage indeed.

The opener coerces with a higherintelligence model of Erasure: “show some emotional respect [to me?]”

The lacklustre lyricism is forgiven when sung from her overly accented come celestial voice, though. This is a musician unafraid of recording songs in bat-�illed caves in the midBahamas, after all. Suddenly all of the lyrical insouciance sounds profound.

And, as it’s Björk, it probably is.

You’re left desperately crawling through the many many vulnus(es) for this cura The compositions are nothing unusual, which, for someone effortlessly avant-garde, is quite unusual.

Instead of opting for harsher beats, Björk returns to the string arrangements of 1997’s Homogenic. Speaking with Pitchfork, she described the arrangements to be a means of keeping herself occupied, and it’s perhaps this reluctance to �inish a song which has left her with one of her longest albums to date. All songs but two exceed six minutes, and the third track ‘Black Lake’ is her longest ever recorded at 10:09.

Seventh track ‘Atom Dance’ is the record’s volta, albeit a brief one.

A collaboration with Antony Hegarty seems to hold hope as unsurely and embarrassed as a 16-year-old buying their �irst lotto ticket, against the otherwise wonderfully bleak production from Arca and The Haxan Cloak. They only bought the ticket as a rite of passage and after forgetting to watch

the draw it seemed less emphatic, more mourning the loss of a few pound coins. This was hope, not the promised cura.

Amid the lurid imagery of ‘Mouth Mantra’ and supportive end-track ‘Quicksand’ - chronicling Björk’s heartbreak in the context of millions of other women’s Vulnicura is one of her most striking, and most candid, from a career fast approaching its 40th year. This is not the album I was expecting from Björk, just as I’m

Björk’s best - Editors’ picks

Sunday 15 February Cara Dillon Phoenix

“Keen songwriter, deft melodysmith, butterfly wing-fingered guitarist” - Pitchfork

sure it was one she wishes she didn’t have to write.

That said, her discography is a vastly more impressive place because of it.

Vulnicura - BITESIZE REVIEWS Oh, Björk - I only know of her because of that duck thing that she wore.

EAMONN CROWE, LIFESTYLE EDITOR

Spotlight

Laura Marling @ Thekla Saturday 7 February

23

BIOPHILIA 5 October 2011

HOMOGENIC 22 September 1997

DEBUT 5 July 1993

Listen to: ‘Cosmology,’ ‘Virus.’

Listen to: ‘Unravel,’ ‘Bachelorette.’

Listen to: ‘Venus As A Boy,’ ‘Play Dead.’

Abounding with Björk’s typical vocal wizardry, Biophilla shows Bjork at her most conceptual (it came with an eco-educational app, obviously).

Move over pop-y Björk, and welcome this dark, demanding album that goes beyond religious proportions.

Homogenic marked Björk’s �irst adventure into an illustrious love affair between electronic beats and a string section. Written as a homage to Iceland, it has been called by some the best electronic album of all time. That doesn’t seem generous enough.

Put simply, a classic. It’s telling that many Debut tracks feature on her Greatest Hits album, although as it came out in 2002 it missed Medúlla and Volta (both wonderful albums: yes, we like Björk). But this is Björk at her funnest.

It’s good. Liked it. Weird though.

Good though. Produced by the same guy that did Yeezus though. Kanye. People liked him.

Most songs exceed six minutes though. It’s good though. String composition. Similar to stuff that she’s done before though. Not quite as choral though. Not quite as new age but still doing her thing though. Go Björk. Though.

EMILY HARRIS

24

MUSIC Old New Borrowed Blue

It’s the return of your favourite University of Exeter Hello again.

Thebased lastconcise time eclectic music blog that doesn’t you heard from me you really talk about actual music that were by a control much.confronted Settle down though, yourself, some not entirely hoard ofthere’s sinisterly imposed serious reading be done, from cutouts of mytoface.

I am yours truly, Will Cafferky.

neither responsible for, nor Old: The - ‘Monk Time’ party to, Monks the mass distributi The Monks were a bunch of on of my face. I am led to former American soldiers, recordbelieve that it inisGermany. integralAsto ing and playing something an indirect reaction the artisticofvision of Exposé to the Beatles, they shaved theiras music, and student media heads, donned cassocks, tied a nooses whole.

Therefore, I have around their necks and chanted aggressively the little choice but toatconsent. crowd.

Surprisingly, it didn’t You have my sincerest always go down well, especially apologies.

Noneteless, the whole noose thing whichwe somepress took toon. be aItad distasteful. must have plenty This particular song sounds like of festive cheer to shove a man with a couple of trashcan down your earsgrinder and limited lids and an organ having a violent inches existential column incrisis it’s bloody great. which to do it.

New: Spoon - ‘Do You’ Old song makes me AThis Spaceman inordinately happy; Came Travelling not least because it – servesde as aBurgh stark reminder Chris that indie-rock be genuApparently, incananstillinterine and fun. Kasabian’s swaggerview, Chris de nonsense Burgh said ing faux-political hasn’t shitsong on everyone’s hemanaged wrote to this after party. Spoon what have been around wondering it would for a while, but this latest offering have likeofiftheir thebest. star is defibeen nitely one

of Bethlehem had been a Borrowed: Drake - ‘Worst Bespacecraft.

We feel you, havior (SAINT PEPSI Edit)’ Chris.

Screw the festivities; The mopiest man in music has been given a much-needed emoit’s time someone tackled tional facelift. issues.

Quite what Drake the burning

always seems so sad about all the time is a mystery, though it may be down to everyone assuming ¬New he’s sad. way, dry your eyes Clark – Either Winter Linn mate, good ‘ol SAINT PEPSI has Inturned the absence of anyBehavdecent the iconic ‘Worst iour’Christmas into everyone’s new favournew songs, I figite disco track. ured I’d settle for something

winter-themed.

This Blue: Blue - ’Bubblin’ ‘ track Over our short time together, I lifted from Clark’s eponywas beginning to think I’d built mous album isn’t the best a sort of rapport with the guys one there, but it’s the one fromon Blue – a deeply empathetic emotional understanding.

Alas, that’s most about winter.

I’m nowhere near their waveApparently a “linn” is a walength on this one. “I think you’re terfall precipice.

Bet“could you bout it or bout it,” they croon, this be know the night that we uuuh?” didn’t that? they query. Honestly haven’t a clue I’m afraid lads. By the chorus, Borrowed “It’s gunna be troublin’, you and me bubblin, they Snowman claim. Troublin’ Micmac – ”The indeed fellas.

Theme (Remix) An actual human person

From Plymouth with love NEWS 1-7

COMMENT FEATURES 12-17 8-11

LIFESTYLE SABB ELECTION PULLOUT 18-21

MUSIC 23-25

SCREEN 26-29

BOOKS 30-31

ARTS 33-35

GAMES & TECH

38-41

SPORT 42-44

2 FEBRUARY 2015 |

EXEPOSÉ

Peace Out: Adam Capstick catches up with Harrison Koisser and Dom Boyce of indie rock quartet Peace before their gig at Plymouth Pavilions and album release this week 2014 has seen the continuation of Peace’s impressive rise through the musical ranks. To list just a few of their achievements this year: they’ve played the main stage at Reading & Leeds Festival, supported The Libertines in front of a packed Alexandra Palace, and in one of their more surreal gigs, ended up playing live in an episode of Made In Chelsea. Throughout all this, they’ve also managed to record the eagerly anticipated follow-up to critically acclaimed, debut album In Love, which is due for release early next year.

Following a brief chat with their tour manager, which had piqued my interest on the matter, we start with a discussion of the band’s antics last night featuring an ‘interesting concoction.’

HK: Ohh nooo! It’s a drink called a ‘Hammer’ – which Nick forced me to drink. It’s basically where you drink half a pint of Stella then pour a double gin & tonic into the other half.

Both: It’s actually delicious!

DB: Good student drink I reckon. Not cheap at all mind you – £8 a pint but realistically you need four less than you had, and you only had one!

HK: I was absolutely fucked after three!

So with Peace’s guide on how to party now covered – “The UK is full of darling little places” to do so, according to Dom – we move onto musical matters.

I was absolutely fucked after three!

You’ve had a busy 2014 – constantly touring, playing festivals and �inishing the new album. Re�lecting on the whole year now, what’s been your highlight?

DB: Probably recording the next record … and festivals – in fact Truck festival is probably up there.

HK: Yeah studio! This year’s gone really fast actually.

DB: We’ve kind of done lots but also not very much at the same time, it’s weird.

HK: Reading was my highlight because it was like; “there you go, that’s done - the big stage.”

Your second album Happy People is out in February 2015, what can we look forward to from that?

DB: The tracks!

Interview

HK: It’s just better. The better end of Peace, like if you took everything good about our �irst album and then…

DB: …zoomed in on that.

HK: It’s a lot more of us.

Did you �ind the second one came easier having already put an album out?

HK: We had more time to do the �irst one didn’t we? Very short on time to do the second one.

DB: It had its challenges.

HK: I think it has to be a snapshot of where you’re at. It can’t be planned ahead too much, so there was no plan for the second record, it’s just where we were at.

[After a brief panic over the curious case of Dom’s missing stage t-shirt is resolved, we continue.]

Being from around Birmingham, where the music scene has really blown up in recent times – through bands such as yourselves Swim Depp, Superfood and Jaws – do you feel part of a community there, or are you off doing your own thing?

DB: Kind of off doing our own thing at this point.

HK: To be honest we’ve always been off doing our own thing. I think the other bands pretend they’re off doing their own thing but they’ve probably got more of a communal thing. They don’t wanna be but they probably are.

We were never really like any of the other bands though were we?

DB: It was weird, the thing that you’re describing started just as we began to

leave. So it’s never really been that integral.

HK: It’s a weird one. But I don’t know actually, to be fair, Dom Ganderton [the frontman of Superfood] is one of my best mates, and I know all the guys from Swim Deep, so I guess there is an element of that.

Feeling very popular at the moment Your upcoming UK headline tour in the New Year sold out very quickly.

You’ve since added extra dates which are selling out too. Did you anticipate this level of success?

HK: [A cheeky grin spreads across his face]. Yeah.

DB: I think we hoped, because, you know, they’re small venues.

HK: It’s not a massive tour is it? I mean you never know, but it’s our �irst UK tour coming back, not around the �irst album.

DB: People have had quite a large taste of the next record now, and we haven’t done a tour since then. But for all we knew everyone could have been like, “nah, you know what, not bothering.”

So it was never a dead cert, but we were certainly hoping for it to have sold out.

HK: It just sold out really fast!

DB: It did, so that was

nice! Very nice.

HK: Feeling very popular at the moment.

Speaking of things moving fast, how did your 10K run for Movember go, Dom? DB: Very well thank you!

HK: He was so fucking fast!

DB: I wasn’t as fast as I’d like to have been.

HK: You were pretty fast.

DB: But yeah Harry owes everyone a naughty nude actually…

HK: I know, we’re gonna do that on the tour. I said if he raised £1000 I’d post one online. So that’ll be online soon...

Nuuuuddddeeessss…

An apt point to end the interview, and one that I’m sure fans will make Harry follow through with. Peace are clearly enjoying their music at the moment and seem very genuine and comfortable in their identity as a band. They use their short, half-hour set to show off some of the new tracks from the forthcoming album, and they hit the mark again with tunes that are crying out to be chanted back at the stage. ‘World Pleasure’ is a particular highlight with a demon bassline, enough to get anybody moving and shaking.

Bookended by the fresh and highly-emotive Sivu, and a spectacular show of music, lights and visual effects from Bombay Bicycle Club, it’s a cracking night for the Plymouth gig-dwellers.

Reviewed: the indie-rock occurrences

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Following their interview in Plymouth, James Beeson, Sport Editor, heads to Peace’s gig at Bristol Exchange DUNGAREES and glitter are the order of the day as B-Town glam-rockers Peace make a spectacular return to Bristol in the intimate surroundings of The Exchange. The midlands-based quartet are on �ine form as they rattled through a set including hits from their 2013 debut In Love, as well as a string of new material from their upcoming album Happy People in front of a sold out and adoring crowd.

More impressive was the depth and quality of the band’s previously unheard material Arriving to rapturous applause as they swagger onto the cramped stage around 15 minutes late, Harrison Koisser and co. launch straight into the closing number from their debut album, ‘Bloodshake,’ with the kind of verve and con�idence that has gained them such a cult-following amongst Britain’s hippest youngsters. “We spit blood at the sun, we spit blood in the ocean!” drawls Harrison into his mic, doing his best to look unfazed by the

passionate frenzy unfolding in front of him.

Wasting little time with pleasantries, the band commence the set strongly, with ‘Higher Than the Sun’ and hit single ‘Follow Baby’ unleashed in quick succession, almost deafening the watching audience with a cascade of ear-splitting rifts and ethereal syths.

This is a band at the peak of their powers, comfortable in their ability to win over an audience. So much so, in fact, that they follow up the hit spangled opening of their set with no fewer than six new tracks. Admittedly, the likes of ‘Gen Strange’, ‘Lost on Me’ and ‘Money’ have already had extensive radio play and are hence received by the audience like old favourites, but what was more impressive was the depth and quality of the band’s previously unheard material.

A particular highlight was ‘Someday’ – a quieter and more stripped back number that hinted at a new direction the psychedelic-pop band should seek to explore more in the future.

Treating their hardcore following even more, Peace return to their roots with a majestically beautiful rendition of ten-minute epic ‘1998 Delicious’ from their debut EP. Showcasing their full range of guitar and vocal prowess, ‘1998’ is a fan-boy’s wet dream, although to some of the more casual audience members it may have appeared marginally self indulgent.

These punters needed have worried, however, as this was followed by back-to-back hits ‘Float Forever’ and ‘Wraith.’

The four-piece �inish with ‘Sugarstone’ – a slow-paced and nostalgic ode that leaves the audience somewhat wanting.

After a short break, the band return for an extended instrumental before blitzing into fourth single and this author’s personal favourite, ‘Lovesick’ - a track of reckless abandon that epitomizes the carefree and upbeat vibe which has made Peace so popular amongst the youth generation. ‘I just wanna be a fool and

get lovesick with you…’ coos Harrison, a cry that is gleefully returned by the gaggle of trouble-free, �loppy haired and sweaty adolescents practically bowing at his knees by this point in proceedings.

To put it quite simply: Peace absolutely fucking killed it Next up is new track ‘I’m A Girl,’ quickly followed by the intricately crafted ‘California Daze,’ a lullaby of epic proportions that would bring a tear to e v e n the hardiest of eyes. You can almost smell the passion as Harrison whispers of a girl who “tastes of sunlight” and “who’s always going to be there in the back of your mind.” Capping the evening off perfectly is ‘World Pleasure’ – a Pet

Shop Boys-esque, life-af�irming elegy to everything that Peace stand for: a life lived in the pursuit of hedonism and the intoxication of youth, completely at odds with the constant rhetoric of doom-and-gloom that seeks to engulf 21st century Britain.

With lyrical ambition that seemingly knows no bounds, and the ability to captivate an audience and caress them through a performance over�lowing with hits, this is a band that cannot afford to be ignored. To put it quite simply: Peace absolutely fucking killed it.

Debuting from Canada...

Katie Costello, sees Ian Curtis all over Alberta hailing Viet Cong’s �irst full length album

Viet Cong Viet Cong 20 January 2015

IT’S hardly surprising that Viet Cong’s music has such a strong melancholic tone to it. The death of one of their fellow bandmates put an abrupt halt to their previous incarnations as Women and has clearly had an immense effect on the remaining members.

Their very sound is depressive with synthesizers and lone electric guitar chords echoing across the tracks, producing a haunting, industrial effect. Singer, Matt Flegel, bellows their anguished lyrics, and the premature death of their friend looms heavily over the entire album.

The Canadian quartet’s �irst album seems heavily in�luenced by Joy Divi-

sion, with similar vocal qualities as well as a war-related, unsavoury name.

Their lyrics equally correspond to Joy Division, with lines such as “Check your anxiety/ No need to suffer silently/ Convulsion vibrating/ Being violated” which wouldn’t look out of place alongside the bleak poetry of Ian Curtis. Their style has been described as “post-punk”, a label that �its them well as their metallic recordings seem to be in�luenced by the late 1970s and Krautrock. ‘March of Progress’ starts with nearly three minutes of two oscillating notes, played over a rhythmic, stuttering synthesizer, reminiscent of Kraftwerk’s ‘Metal on Metal.’ But whilst this repetitive white noise may not sound great on its own, it produces an atmosphere of despair and empty realism in �itting with the album as a whole.

It’s as though you are hearing Flegel’s raw, unedited thoughts The best song on the album is their most well-known, ‘Continental Shelf,’ a more melodic track, with lyrics describing pain and emotional torment without ever explaining the cause.

It’s as though you are hearing Flegel’s raw, unedited thoughts; a collection of emotions, lyricism not fully articulated so as to enable full comprehension. ‘Silhouettes’ equally shares this thread of ambiguity and torment. The pace is faster with elements of almost electronic pop, yet this is undercut by sections of echoing guitar and distant vocals.

It looks like Viet Cong may just break through into general consciousness The album is certainly mixed, with the tracks mentioned above being particular highlights, yet with just seven songs in total the hit to miss ratio is pretty good. With positive reviews from the likes of NME, as well as a few plays on the radio this week it looks like Viet Cong may just break through into general consciousness, just don’t expect this to be the kind of music to cheer you up at the end of a long day.

It’s a man’s world

With bands like Peace and Swim Deep elbowing themselves onto the ‘indie-rock’ shelf you’ll forgive the optimism that the (pretty vague) genre is getting over its we-love-lets-become Joy Division/ Radiohead preoccupation.

Long hair is back, dreamy twangs in plenitude, and a lot of 2014’s favourites possess a slightly less insular or angsty attempt at creating interesting ‘rock.’ Wild Beasts resurfaced with the pretty sweet Present Tense. Future Islands treated us to Singles (and Samuel T. Herring’s hips). Albeit a very pit-stop tour of the state of things, and one soured by early years lost to the Kooks and Modest Mouse, my resounding impression is that the genre is still remarkably dominated by males despite its expanding boundaries. This page is a case in point.

So with this in mind, here are a few tracks from ‘indie-rock’ bands that feature the odd woman or four.

Warpaint - ‘Keep It Healthy’ Kyla La Grange - ‘The Knife’ Soko - ‘Who Wears The Pants ??’

St. Vincent - ‘Surgeon’ KATE BURGESS, MUSIC EDITOR

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Newsreel

biopic Screen Actors Guild Danny winners Boyle’s announced latest project on the life of the Apple founder has been dealt a bIIlow Last week Di Caprio the Screen announces Actors hisGuild resighosted their yearly cer-he nation from the role.

Theaward actor says act-inisemony taking acelebrating period awaythe frombest acting ing performances from the past year.

There were fewdrops surprises, defi nitely.

Di Caprio out Birdman took the honours for best performance, ofcast Jobs biopic and Julianne MooreBoyle’s was rewarded for on herthe role Danny latest project life Still Alicefounder with ahas best leading ofinthe Apple been dealt a actress award.announces The major blow Di Caprio histalking resignapoint from the The evening tion from the role. actorwas says Edhe is die Redmayne beating likesintaking a period away fromthe acting of nitely.

Michael Keaton and Benedict defi Cumberbatch to the award for best leading actor, a result that has provoked even more debate surrounding who will eventually take the leading actor Oscar in mid February.

More added to Hateful Eight Cast It has been announced that Pulp Fiction director Quentin Tarantino has added three more actors to the roster of his latest film The Hateful Eight that is set to be released later this year. The new additions include Lee Horsley and Craig Stark, two actors who audiences will recognise from roles in Tarantino’s previous revenge western Django Unchained as well as new hand Belinda Owino.

They join a cast that already boasts A-list names such as Samuel L Jackson, Channing Tatum and Jennifer Jason Leigh.

American Sniper sets sights on box office Despite the criticism levelled at Clint Eastwood’s war thriller, American Sniper, the film is still set to be the highest grossing war film of all time. The film made $63.3 million in only its second weekend on general release, blowing Johnny Depp’s disastrous comedy Mortdecai out the water. Mortdecai, a film which has been universally panned by critics is on track to being Depp’s least successful film to date, and has fuelled speculation that poor Johnny’s career is winding to an unsatisfying and distinctly undignified close.

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Chris Montague comments on the current racial divide within Hollywood

A SIGNIFICANT amount of critical tweets arose this month after the Academy failed to nominate a single non-white actor for the �irst time since 1998. However, in mocking the 7,000 individuals who annually select the nominees, Twitter users have largely been aiming their rage at the wrong cause. The real problem: the �ilm industry itself.

There is little acknowledgment for the fact that there simply weren’t enough non-white directors or actors appearing in movies during the past year. While there are endless references to Ava DuVernay and David Oyelowo being snubbed, can anyone else name another ‘minority’ actor who actually deserved a nomination? I don’t

think so.

Stories with strong minority leads aren’t typically pushed through the system As George Lucas, (a long-time critic of the Academy who rejected its nomination for him to join) wisely pointed out recently “you’re not talking about the show, when you talk about racism, you’re talking about Hollywood.” The issue is with the system. As an illustration: stories with strong minority leads aren’t typically given the green light, due in part to

the lack of minority artistic voices in Hollywood to produce them. Therefore, neither the performances nor the production exist for the Academy to choose from.

Is all this likely to change? Though Academy President Cheryl Boone Isaacs insisted last year that with the success of 12 Years A Slave, “a major door will have been knocked down,” I’m not so convinced. After all, while minorities may be appearing in and directing major �ilms about historical minorities overcoming racial dif�iculties (think Selma, The Butler, 12 Years A Slave, and Mandela: Long Walk To Freedom), they continue to be largely absent from the major original screenplays year after year. Moreover, minor-

ities are only being offered parts that they inevitably have to play. And with there only being so many raciallyhistorical stories to tell, there doesn’t seem to be precedent for huge change in the future.

Right now, Hollywood is simply too exclusive Right now, Hollywood is simply too exclusive. Unless this white dominated, money-driven industry starts to encourage social mobility in order to reap the talents of poorer minorities – an action that society in general could pay homage to – regrettably I do not see it changing.

The march to freedom Jack Smith looks at the film and the actor the Oscars forgot Selma Cast: David Oyelowo , Oprah Winfrey Director: Ava DuVernay 2015, 127 minutes

I WAS lucky enough to get a place at the Picturehouse’s preview of Selma for Martin Luther King Jr. Day. There was not a spare seat in the cinema and nobody could have predicted quite how brilliant David Oyelowo’s portrayal of Dr King would be.

Selma has been in the news lately as one of the biggest snubs at this year’s Oscars. Oyelowo is near perfect as Dr. King and everyone who has seen

the �ilm should see that he has been robbed of a nomination; he certainly would have been a strong contender for the award itself. Although it has received nominations for Best Picture and Best Original Song, director Ava DuVernay would have been the �irst black woman to ever be nominated.

However, she is up against some strong competition, and the �ilm tended to have issues - the pacing lacked variety and DuVernay’s shot selection at times hinders her otherwise distinctive style.

The narrative focuses on the Selma to Montgomery marches of 1964 that King led in order to pressure Lyndon B. Johnson into passing a law for all Americans to vote without registering -

in the South, black people were denied the vote due to the racist culture that existed. The fact that the �ilm focuses on this part of Dr. King’s life works well as it allows for personal drama to be �leshed out amongst the other characters, as well as King himself.

The supporting cast does a �ine job as well, with Tim Roth dominating a couple of moments as a delightfully disgusting Governor of Alabama.

Some great music, choreography and many impressive scenes help make Selma an excellent �ilm that harnesses the incredible power of Oyelowo’s performance; a performance that should not be missed.

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Joshua Rotchelle puts his scope on the Oscar outsider

Blood, sweat, tears and jazz

OH BOY. The response and controversy surrounding this �ilm has been substantial, ranging from mocking advertisements of the �ilm as a glori�ied military recruitment video to �ive-star reviews. However, if you look really hard, you can just see a �ilm from Clint Eastwood under the storm of commentary, and that’s what we’re here to review.

The story itself is based on a true one: the life of Chris Kyle, a sniper for the American Navy SEALs who had a remarkable career, racking up the highest kill count in American military history. The �ilm covers his story from crib to grave in a few hours.

AT ITS most super�icial level, Whiplash is simply a darker re-telling of Karate Kid: a talented but introverted teenager comes under the wing of an experienced teacher who pushes him to be his best. However, in terms of the themes this �ilm wants to explore, Full Metal Jacket would be a more apt comparison. The movie is interested in exploring the sacri�ices we make to achieve greatness; whether or not it is acceptable to berate, bully and abuse someone, to treat them as worthless, in order to help them realise their true potential.

The story follows Andrew Neyman (Miles Teller), the �ilm’s protagonist, a shy young drummer who joins a university band under the leadership of Terence Fletcher (J.K Simmons), a belligerent, despotic music teacher who degrades, humiliates and torments his students, all in the name of “pushing them beyond what’s expected”– basically a dark Mr Miyagi.

Simmons has been the centre of attention, and it’s not undeserved: he’s absolutely hypnotic. His performance is engaging, yet utterly terrifying; subtle yet brimming with energy.

It’s tempting to say he owns every

American Sniper Director: Clint Eastwood Cast: Bradley Cooper, Sienna Miller 2015, 134 minutes

American Sniper excels in action, but when the bullets stop �lying it begins to lose its way First thing’s �irst: American Sniper excels at action. Sound design shines in the gun�ight scenes, conveying the booms and bangs of battle with an adrenaline-fuelled �inesse, while the

soldiers’ raw vulnerability is rendered with poise, lending excellent tension to the combat.

But when the bullets stop �lying, American Sniper begins to lose its way.

There is emotional drama as Kyle deals with problems at home, from PTSD to simple fame. But these scenes, while extensive and wellexplored, never quite strike the right chord; they almost feel like the �ilm is making obligatory nods and formalities, before getting back to shooting people in the face.

To be fair, the �ilm is based on a book and cannot extend beyond said story’s limits, which explains why the ending feels so unsatisfactory.

However, this is no excuse for not making the most of the story, and American Sniper manages only to do so with the action, which isn’t enough.

If you want war drama,

pathos and action done brilliantly, you’re probably better off watching Saving Private Ryan or The Hurt Locker again. American Sniper doesn’t do anything particularly wrong, but it’s what it doesn’t do that limits it.

Nicholas Porter

Whiplash Director: Damien Chazelle Cast: Miles Teller, J K Simmons 2015, 106 minutes

scene he’s in, but to ignore Miles Teller would be criminal. It’s an absolute joy watching him on screen; he conveys a sense of depth and nuance which creates a real humanity with which the audience can truly connect.

The real star of Whiplash, however, is writer/director Damien Chazelle.

His script is tight, economic, dramatic and nuanced; the plot twists and turns in a way that feels unpredictable and yet still organic.

Chazelle knows just when to whisper and when to shout Helping in this manner is the sublime direction. Chazelle knows just when to whisper and when to shout; when you quietly draw in the audience with a subtle cut or camera shift, and when to explode with intense visceral impact. The editing in the major setpieces is incredible; Chazelle eschews the “invisible art” philosophy to create sequences with blistering pacing and whip-like precision; the �ilm is a masterclass in building tension.

Whiplash is designed to drive right into your mind and stay there long after you’ve left the theatre, and I can de�initely say that it does that in some style.

Are you a man or a machine?

Gabriel Smith watches Alex Garland’s introspective sci-�i debut which explores what makes us human Ex Machina Cast: Alicia Vikander, Domhnall Gleeson, Oscar Isaac Director: Alex Garland 2015, 108 mins

EX MACHINA is the work of a man who has waited a long time to direct a �ilm, and isn’t going to let it go to waste. The plot gets underway refreshingly quickly, and director Alex Garland packs in as many thematic punches as the resulting 108 minutes will allow.

Can you imprison something that isn’t really alive?

Domnhall Gleeson’s Caleb wins a ticket to spend three days at the home of his reclusive boss Nathan (Oscar Isaac), a home which manages to be at

once a bachelor pad, Bond lair, mountain retreat and prison.

Isaac balances a natural likeability with an unsettling performance to create a genuinely unknowable character That last one: what exactly is being kept prisoner there? Can you imprison something that isn’t really alive? Because it is not instantly clear if AVA, the world’s �irst self-aware robot, is truly alive. She looks like a splice between the sleek models of I, Robot and the grungy realism of Elysium’s guards.

She is extraordinary, and kept in a cage at all times: whatever else Nathan may be, he’s the only careful scientist in all of science �iction. But he is also an enigma: Isaac balances a natural like-

ability with an unsettling performance to create a genuinely unknowable character.

I found him more interesting than AVA, but that’s a compliment to Isaac rather than an insult to the plot, which descends into a claustrophobic battle of intellects between Caleb, Nathan and AVA. The setting is perfect, with a visual sensibility taking after Danny Boyle’s Trance: all re�lections and distorted parallels. Garland wrote two of Boyle’s works, 28 Days Later and Sunshine, but Ex Machina is unlike Boyle’s sprinting pace.

Instead, it is a meditation of sexuality, of the relationship between man and machine, and of the end point this relationship will bring upon us. So yeah, it aims high, even if it is not at all times original: these big questions have been asked before.

What to watch in 2015

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Ben Londesborough sifts through his TV guide for the best of what’s on the small screen this year 2014 was a thrilling year for television, with many hot shows causing a furore. Debutant series like True Detective and Fargo gripped audiences, turning us all into crime detectives from the comfort of our sofas. We also bid farewell to familiar shows such as the prohibition drama Boardwalk Empire and sitcom How I Met Your Mother, with their endings garnering mixed reactions. Whilst TV fanatics may still

Whilst TV fanatics may still be reeling over previous episodes or series, 2015 promises an equally exciting platter of television to choose from be reeling over previous episodes or series, 2015 promises an equally exciting platter of television to choose

from.

Many established series will continue, including Game Of Thrones in April, to many fans’ delight; the second series of Broadchurch, featuring our very own Forum; the promising cop-comedy Brooklyn Nine Nine; and other teatime comedies like New Girl and The Big Bang Theory.

Sadly, summer will also see advertising drama Mad Men draw to a close in its seventh season, making men and women equally mad at not seeing Don Draper anymore.

The quality of TV

will persist until the end of the year, when the BBC’s Sherlock will return in a full-length, Victorian-style Christmas Special,

which is currently drumming up a whirlwind of online speculation.

This year will also see the introduction of new shows, including risky Breaking Bad spinoff Better Call Saul in February, following Bob Odenkirk’s sleazy lawyer in his preHeisenberg days. Fans of historical drama can also see the Tudors back on the small screen in BBC One’s new adaptation of Hilary Mantel’s novel Wolf Hall, the �irst few episodes of which you can already view on BBC iPlayer. Two new superhero shows from Marvel will also debut: Agent Carter and Daredevil, airing in January and April respectively.

One particularly interesting development is video game Halo being lined up for a pilot, with Steven Spielberg serving as an executive producer and Neill Blomkamp rumoured to direct.

The quality of TV will persist until the end of the year Whatever your television habits, 2015 will see the return of many favourites, whilst also providing new shows to fuel procrastination. So renew your Net�lix and Sky subscriptions, and get comfy.

Do you agree with Ben? What TV are you looking forward to watching in 2015? Get in touch with us at screen@ exepose.com and let us know what you think the televisual highlights of 2015 are going to be.

Discover Marco Polo on Netflix Matt Wilcock, Online Comment Editor, has found China in previously unchartered TV territory Marco Polo Created by: James Fusco Cast: Benedict Wong, Lorenzo Richelmy 2015, Net�lix Exclusive

MEET Marco Polo: son of a merchant and Italian adventurer, whose diary charts his journeys along Silk Road in the 13th Century into the court of Kublai Khan. Now meet Joachim Ronning, Espen Sandberg and Dan Minahan: the directors responsible for the new series and its artistic ‘embellishments.’

(Historical accuracy takes a beating in this one folks!) Polo suddenly becomes a romancer of Mongolian princesses and skilled Kung-Fu �ighter.

But it works! Don’t be put off; Marco Polo is much more about the myth of the Khan’s court, its incomprehensi-

ble scale and exquisite splendour than the eponymous merchant.

Even on my small screen the beautifully landscaped zen gardens chilled me out Visually, the series excels. With the price-tag of $9m per episode, Marco Polo spared no expense on set and costume-design. Set pieces include vast military encampments composed of traditional circular tents and palaces brimming with wealth and intricate tapestries.

Even on my small screen, the Khan’s beautifully landscaped Zen gardens (replete with trickling spring,

reeds and Koi carp) chilled me out.

You’ll be pleased you can pause Net�lix series to take it all in, too.

Harrowing scenes are also a feature. The torturous binding of a girl’s feet, which breaks her bones, left me squirming in discomfort. So you’ll also be pleased you can fast-forward past parts of the series as well.

Whereas the in�inite twists and turns of Game of Thrones would have me blabbing for days, Marco Polo’s simpler plot-line failed to awaken my inner gossip. However, scenes of gratuitous nudity and an evident enjoyment of gore on the directors’ behalf establish clear parallels with Game of Thrones.

Watch Marco Polo for the gorgeous set pieces, and check out the Mongolian soldier’s songs too - they’re cool.

What’s hot and what’s not in this week’s news?

Mortdecai - Johnny Depp’s career may be in decay. In David Koeep’s caper he plays an eccentric aristocrat and it’s so absolutely absurdly awful you want to hurl a cup - no, a pot - of tea at him.

Ex-girlfriends

Suicide Squad - actors are dropping like �lies: Tom Hardy and Jake Gyllenhaal have already pulled out of the Rick Flag role in Warner Bros �ilm of the DC Comic - about a super-group of villains.

Like Supertramp but more evil.

Nicholas Cage - an Army of One sees Cage starring in a satirical comedy (and true story) about a man haplessly looking for Osama Bin Laden. It sounds terrible; which makes it brilliant. Cage is a self-re�lexive genius.

Mrs Doubt�ire - Everyone’s favourite cross-dressing nanny is set to return. Alan Menken, the Oscar winning music director behind the 1993 Robin Williams comedy is set to adapt it into a musical. Excellent, dear.

American Sniper - Clint Eastwood’s sniper drama has been hitting the mark at the box of�ice.

Whether it’s overtly patriotic or something more nuanced, it’s making a killing �inancially.

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High-brow books are overrated, according to Sophie Harrison, Online Books Editor ‘LITERATURE’ is quite an abstract term, when you stop to mull it over.

Does something take on literary life simply by possessing a spine and cover? Or is the headline of a news story just as much ‘literature’ as the works of Hardy and Hemingway? It is writing - text on a page. But is it ‘literature’?

A certain wolf provoked this question for me.

Not the literal ones created by Rowling, Martin or Meyer, but a �igurative one that recently relocated to a BBC studio hall; the adaptation of Hilary Mantel’s Booker Prize winning novel, Wolf Hall.

I enjoyed the series premiere last week about as much as I enjoyed the ‘great work’ of literature itself. That is to say, sixty minutes later I was left with a mix of confusion, frustration and sinking

disappointment. Why didn’t I ‘get it’?

What did the Booker judges see that I, despite much effort, failed to?

The press praised its ingenuity; a “unique” and “captivating” plot

premise and writing style. So apparently aspiring authors just need to pluck a historical �igure out of oblivion. Interestingly, this seems to work for the Oscars too. Colin, Meryl, Helen, Eddie… touch wood. Additionally, would-be writers should write in the present tense and jump about in time constantly (no wonder Cloud Atlas also struck gold).

In other words, be a bit artsy about it.

Perhaps I am too much of a cynic. God forbid I claim to prefer Phillipa Gregory’s young adult Tudor �iction to the masterful work of a prize-winning novelist.

However, this isn’t the �irst time my views have countered ‘literature.’

I will come right out and say it: I hate Jane Austen. Hate is a strong word, so I will say it again.

I hate Jane Austen. Going to a school in Bath, you can imagine how this went down.

Nonetheless, I simply could not buy into it. I �ind the claims that

Elizabeth Bennett is some independent and progressive heroine really quite sickening; she has nothing on Brontë’s Jane, Hardy’s Tess and Barry’s Tinkerbell. Yes, Tinkerbell. She has more guts in her little �inger then the entire Bennett Household. Meanwhile, you only have to look at the works of Emily Dickinson and Mary Wollstonecraft to see the true potential of women in those times.

Yet the world adores Austen, just as they laud Mantel and her marvellous creation(s). For indeed, there is a sequel. Two, in fact. The second has also been picked by that most coveted of literary awards, with the third just as likely to emulate its predecessors as the press are to hail this TV adaptation.

I would rather follow a pack of wolves than a �lock of literary sheep To each their own, but for me, literature is engagement, entertainment and engrossment in a world

and its story. Perhaps this makes me an oh-so-simplistic and unconventional English student, so I may as well reinforce that with the proclamation: YOLO.

For me, literature is engagement, entertainment, engrossment in a world and its story If I have only �inite time on this planet of literary sheep we call home, I would far rather follow a pack of wolves led by Remus Lupin and Martin’s Direwolves (but run a mile if I spy a certain Jacob). Yet I will also, more than willingly, wander across Frost’s woods, Dickens’ London streets and Shelley’s Swiss mountains.

The reason I am happy to delve into these classics, and not others, is not because they are ‘literary’ or ‘unique.’ It is because, literature-ally speaking, they are inherently good stories.

Comfort reading: don’t get too cosy

Jessie Stanier prescribes a literary cure for those winter-blues IT’S that time of year again: hard grey skies, empty pockets and a whole host of new deadlines snapping at your heels. Bring on the winter blues.

Since you are perusing the Books section, I think I’ll safely assume that, like me, as a pile of textbooks leers at you from your desk, you engage in a most particular genus of procrastination.

Let’s call it comfort reading. Leafing through print or scrolling on Kindles, we gravitate towards our tried and tested favourites. Be it Tolkien, Rowling, Austen or some other ‘old faithful,’ their words wrap us up like a warm quilt.

Now, as harmless as this kind of escapism is, I’m tempted to consider it the literary equivalent of a package holiday. It’s all-inclusive and unadventurous, and there’s guaranteed

sunshine. I put it to you that, when we comfort-read, we’re letting university pressures sap our curiosity.

We’re forgetting the bounty of unexamined literature at our �ingertips Reading what we already know and love does little to break winter’s monotony. We’re forgetting the bounty of unexamined literature at our �ingertips! There’s more to winter than hiding under your duvet. If you’re not reading for tutorials, why not branch out a little?

Hopefully by now I’ve got you itching for something new to get your teeth into, but perhaps you’re not sure quite where to look. As a

starting point, I can’t recommend The Novel Cure by Ella Berthoud and Susan Elderkin highly enough.

It reads like a family medical book, expertly recommending literary respite for every ailment, ambition, mood and sticky situation that life can throw at you.

From insomnia to lovesickness - whether you’ve got a hangover, the hump or the hiccups, ‘bibliotherapy’ can prescribe a remedy in

a printed (rather than pharmaceutical) fashion. No doubt your bookworm friends are harbouring a secret panacea on their shelves too.

Comfort reading has got to be one of the best ways not to do your work. It keeps the Exeter gold�ish bowl in perspective.

So, why not set your sights a little further a�ield and turn over a new leaf, in a book, this winter?

Reinvigorate your reading

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We asked for your fresh and alternative ideas for rainy day reading Mumtaz Meghjee Men Explain Things to Me and Other Essays Rebecca Solnit

MEN EXPLAIN THINGS TO ME AND OTHER ESSAYS is a collection of essays that discuss crime against women, including rape, domestic violence and workplace sexual harassment.

It will leave you feeling speechless, both because of the shocking statistics and the literary genius with which the message is delivered.

Solnit’s voice is fearless and provocative; it challenges the reader to think critically about the world. The overriding message in her collection of essays is that the world is still unequal, that the feminist movement has a long way to go and that justice and kindness are not gendered, but that sex-crime is.

My two favourite essays are titled: Men Explain Things to Me and Worlds Collide in a Luxury Suite. In the former she writes about a concept she has been credited with creating – ‘mansplaining’. She argues

Grace Eccleston The Bone Clocks David Mitchell

THE BONE CLOCKS is the latest book

by David Mitchell, the ambitious Booker-nominated author, known for mixing multiple genres and time periods in his novels. His new book is split into six sections, told by �ive narrators, and tells many stories.

Overall it’s about one woman’s life; one woman who is tied into a centuries-old supernatural struggle between immortal beings.

Clearly this is a strange concept, but it is held together by an intriguing collection of very human characters, and above all by the main character Holly Sykes who is a great example of a decent person doing her best no matter what life throws at her. Complex narrative clues are peppered throughout, and are eventually (for the most part) solved much later on: a mysterious meeting, a maze, a phrase or riddle. Whilst reading, you get the feeling that a crucial piece is just about to drop into place, revealing the shape of something much larger. For those who’ve read Mitchell’s other books, certain discoveries

that men explain things to women whether or not they know what they are talking about, and that this “trains us in self-doubt and selflimitation just as it exercises men’s unsupported overcon�idence.” This essay forced me to re�lect on authoritative male �igures in my life and allowed me to re-examine where that authority comes from.

know too well? Her name was Africa.

His name was France. He colonized her, exploited her, silenced her […] Her name was Asia. His was Europe. Her name was silence. His was power. Her name was poverty. His was Wealth.”

The most beautifully crafted piece of non-�iction writing I have ever read The second of my favourite essays, entitled Worlds Collide in a Luxury Suite, has one of the most well written introductions I have ever come across. It might even be the most beautifully crafted piece of non-�iction writing I have ever read.

It’s about the alleged assault of the head of the IMF on a hotel maid who was an immigrant from Africa in a New York City hotel room. It starts like this: “How can I tell a story we already are particularly satisfying, as they go some way to explaining the many perplexing connections which tie his books in a vast, shared universe.

However, not everything in this

After reading this book I read three more by Solnit; she has quickly become one of my favourite authors.

I can not recommend this book enough. It will change the way you see human interaction, and I think everyone should read it. the existence of his secret epic war believable to readers. He goes all out on sci-�i lingo, while treating this supernatural con�lict with the same matter-of-factness as he does descriptions of literary festivals, the Iraq war, or a skiing trip in the Alps, which creates a curious sense of dissonance within the �ictional world.

Nevertheless, it’s powerful story-

It stretches from the past to the future over the course of just one lifetime

book �its quite so neatly together.

The Bone Clocks leans towards the fantasy/sci-�i genre, with fantastical occurrences intruding into the everyday on a few fateful occasions, which change the lives of Holly and the others completely. However, Mitchell makes little effort to make

telling. Perhaps the greatest achievement is the book’s timescale: both contained and colossal, it stretches from the past to the future over the course of just one lifetime, and shows a world undergoing massive and terrifyingly plausible changes.

Each section is very much its own story, but together they comprise an engrossing and extremely thoughtprovoking novel.

Matthew Wilcock First Among Equals Jeffrey Archer

IN First Among Equals Archer follows the political ascent of four MPs from birth as they battle it out for that glorious post of�ice: Prime-minister. It’s not a good novel but it is the best crap one-with the Machiavellian power play from the House of Cards series, the scope and unpredictability of Dickens and the vocabulary of a 10-year-old. Four protagonists allow for four personal tragedies, four windfalls, four crises - you just couldn’t get more needless drama in there if you tried.

What you can’t take from House of Cards is the glamour. If you’re looking for the sexiness of politics, look elsewhere. True to the setting of the 60s and 70s, most politicians were male, pale and stale, but beneath the grey exterior lie four Machiavellian disciples of the �irst rank.

Archer is a Dickensian writer if there ever was one; every chapter ends on a cliff-hanger; fortune

Oliver Knight Bitch Planet #1 Kelly Sue DeConnick and Valentine De Landro

SINCE Kelly Sue DeConnick announced her newest venture into the feminist comic medium, people envisaged a sharp-witted, brutal and all-out fantastic book. They weren’t wrong.

DeConnick and artist Valentine De Landro offer a “what if” look at a world where women who are “noncompliant” in a 70’s style, exploitative world, are shipped off to a ‘Bitch Planet.’

Luckily for the reader, it’s all satirical. DeConnick described the pitching point for this series as being “born of a deep and abiding love for exploitation and women in prison movies of the 1960s and 1970s”.

Where “it’s so deeply awful and delicious, like those candies that are bad for you.” DeConnick’s tone throughout the entire book echoes this description, and it is with the help of De Landro that it comes to light.

Mr. Collins’ goal is to return someone from said ‘Bitch Planet’ – however it is not certain, until he

favours the morally-upright, brave and determined; one MP has a mysterious benefactor that makes Great Expectations’ Abel Magwitch seem a miserly scrooge; and success is down to your merit if you push for it. That last bit is a message I need come January, when I start making ever more excuses for coming up short on my New Year’s resolutions.

But Archer always forces the slow pendulum of personal progress and achievement back into movement. “I want to be the Prime minister!” I announced with the wideeyed smile of ten year-old ignorance and youthful ambition. Thanks to this novel. (I’m not making it sound like a self-help book, am I?) Undoubtedly, this book is twaddle - but this drivel �illed me with drive and ambition. As you lose sight of your New-Year’s resolutions and the cold makes you curl in your duvet, my top-tip for boosting your spirits is to save some space in that foetal-positioned-despair for this little treasure.

reveals that he has had an affair, as to who it is. The intensity of the patriarchy is only revealed in the last few pages, with Mr Collins’ getting his mistress back and not his wife.

Bitch Planet #1 is truly one of the most bizarre and intelligently approached comics I’ve ever read.

Even without all of the dialogue that DeConnick wrote for this book, De Landro’s art carries the satirical brevity of how oppressed women are in this society.

Bitch Planet #1 is the slap that modern society needs.

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Following Green Party leader Natalie Bennett’s visit to Exeter, Krissi Hill considers how art can inspire climate action during the ‘Green Surge’

Laugh Out Loud Festival @ Phoenix + BikeShed 4-8 February

The Jocular Spectacular Roving Comedy Show feat. Arthur Smith @ Barnfield 5 February

Magic Luke Jermay @ Phoenix 11 February

Radio Xpression Presents: Union Road 4 February, 5:30pm

Theatre Beyond the Barricade @ Northcott 6-7 February

>>‘Waiting for Climate Change’ ISAAC CORDAL ART has always had a political agenda, whether it was Holbein making Henry VIII look as fat and imposing as possible, or William Hogarth satirising the lavish eccentricity of the upper classes. But it was the Romantics who brought environmental issues to the forefront of 18th Century culture.

They were the �irst generation of artists to fear the future of our planet.

Contemporary artists more explicitly address the issues of climate change, provoking a sense of guilt and desire to act As the industrial revolution took hold, Casper David Friedrich, J. M. W. Turner and John Constable compensated for polluting power stations and bronchitis-inducing cotton mills with paintings and poems of the countryside.

The Romantics’ aim: to halt the

expansion of cities and rejoice in nature. The result: beautiful artwork and a larger metropolitan population than ever.

The Romantics may have had good intentions but the wistful nature of their paintings does not shock the viewer into acting in the same way contemporary art does. The Romantic movement would have been lost were it not for prominent art critics such as John Ruskin, who unpuzzled the paintings for political purposes.

Contemporary artists address more explicitly the issues of climate change, provoking a sense of guilt and a desire to act. Isaac Cordel’s ‘Waiting for Climate Change’ (above) shows shrunken �igures passively waiting for the future to disappear. Basia Irland creates books from ice embedded with seeds, which are then released into rivers so the seeds are dispersed.

Irland’s work is not only symbolic but also active in its message to help and be considerate towards the environment.

Art has the power to move, to provoke inexpressible emotions that

inspire people to �ight for their principles. This power is recognised by organisations such as the UN, its 2014 Climate Council featuring a moving piece from performance-poet Kathy Jetnil-Kijiner. Jetnil-Kijiner’s words were a war cry against climate change as she promises her daughter a life of more than just survival.

Art is one way to keep this conversation in the public sphere Last week the Secretary General of the UN, Ban Ki-moon, sent the world a warning. We are now the last generation who can “take steps to avoid the worst impacts of climate change.” A daunting prospect, but it would be wrong to passively accept humanity’s prerogative and leave the world to grow worse.

Climate change is an inconvenient truth, but a truth nonetheless, and being a student of one of the greenest universities in Britain, I for one feel a

sense of responsibility.

2015 is the time to act. This year the 21st Conference of the Parties (COP) will be held in Paris. World leaders will decide how much greenhouse gas emissions should be cut globally. At the moment activists suspect the limits will be increased. I am, perhaps naively, optimistic about COP 21, but without keeping the issue of climate change in the public sphere, the temptation to put off such a dif�icult issue may prevail as it did in 2009 at COP. Art is one way to keep this conversation in the public sphere but so is action. For those wanting to take a stand, Campaign Climate Change are holding a protest on 7 March 2015, two months before the General Election, in order to maintain the momentum of the People’s Climate March back in September 2014. The event will begin at 1pm in Lincoln’s Inn Fields, calling for the government to support a global emissions reduction, with investment in renewable energy rather than fossil fuels, and over one million climate jobs.

Handbags at dawn 34

ARTS

NEWS 1-7

COMMENT FEATURES 12-17 8-11

LIFESTYLE SABB ELECTION PULLOUT 18-21

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BOOKS 30-31

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Jack Wardlaw, Lifestyle Editor and runway veteran, heads up the debate over whether fashion can be considered wearable art, or if it’s a shallow industry for the rich and beautiful

IT’S been said by art experts that for something to be classed as “art” it must have no function other than itself. That is why many say that beautiful cars are not art, nor movies, nor music. A painting or a sculpture does not move, they do not make noise, or actively entertain you. They are just there, for us to observe. Some may �ind entertainment or pleasure in them, but paintings or sculptures or photographs do not actively produce it. So what about fashion? Can fashion ever be art?

does that make it art? He has something to express and chose a creative medium to express it, just like a painter or a

Did Rick Owens have something to express by sending out models with their “turkey dinosaurs” on show?

With the menswear fashion shows for Autumn/Winter 2015 just �inished, the womenswear Haute Couture shows just starting and the womenswear Ready-To-Wear collections just around the corner, we are once again surrounded by a plethora of fashion styles for the coming year. The menswear shows have already been subverting expectations, with designer Rick Owens sending out some models with their genitals exposed - was what he did art? Did he have something to express by sending out models with their “turkey dinosaurs” (as one fashion magazine put it) on show? Actually, he did. Backstage he spoke about it being “the most primal gesture possible” and how “it says something about being independent” in our very much “corporate world.” This was as much of a protest against established fashion rule as it was a runway show. But

sculptor might.

Sunday night saw Atelier Versace open the week of Haute Couture shows. These shows are the ultimate in fashion design. Nothing is too extravagant, nothing is too

time-consuming or expensive and everything is possible. There has been a long standing debate over the relevance of couture in the modern, fast paced fashion industry, considering primarily the cost of the clothes. One dress can cost upwards of £100,000 and can take over 200 hours to make. These out�its are the ultimate expression that a fashion house can make and are some of the most beautiful clothes in the world. They are as far away from practical as you can get, so does that mean couture can be art?

To me, it’s the ultimate freedom of expression, unrestrained by commercial considerations and budgets.

But I guess that your view on fashion as art will be in�luenced heavily by your degree of interest in the fashion industry itself. If you don’t really care about what you wear and aren’t really interested in clothes (yes you in the Ugg boots and leggings, I’m looking at you) then you’re probably thinking that fashion is just a circus for expensive and ridiculous clothes that no one is actually going to wear. I’m sorry, but I’m going to have to bring my sass out now, because you couldn’t be more wrong.

The Alexander McQueen: Savage Beauty exhibition is coming to the V&A museum in spring this year, and in the fashion world it is almost universally agreed that McQueen was one of the greatest artists in history. He didn’t just make clothes.

The patterns, the cuts, the fabrics were just a part of his grand vision. Every show told a story and had something it wanted to ex-

plore. From his infamous ‘Highland Rape’ collection in 1995, l o o k i n g at the British invasion of Scotland, to his now legendary ‘Plato’s Atlantis’ collection in 2010 which fe a t u re d t h o s e colossal ‘armadillo shoes’ as they have become

known, McQueen’s collections always had something to say and said it beautifully. In this sense then, no, fashion is not art. Fashion is so much greater, because (and I may be borrowing a few lines from The Devil Wears Prada here) you live your life in it. You can walk down the street wearing something that expresses so much through just stitching and fabric.

Admittedly, the clothes you might �ind on the high street fall somewhat short of this romanticised ideal. Leggings from New Look and dresses from Topshop

Fiona Potigny poses the opposite argument: that whilst fashion is a manifestation of art, it is too �leeting to be labelled art itself MCQUEEN’S No.13 spray-painted dress, Dior Haute Couture 2004 or Saint Laurent’s Mondrian collection: ‘Proof’. Fashion is art? Then again, to the untrained eye the latter might appear a tragic attempt at a Rubix Cube costume, likely to have Trinny and Susannah snif�ing around for a restyle. Yet even those previous fashion gatekeepers are dated now with one

of their “nautical” revamps looking more like the wardrobe for a CBeebies Captain Pugwash remake.

The point is, art might be art for art’s sake, but fashion dates. Moreover, there are no-nos. All it takes is a swish of the Wintour wand, 140 choice characters from a critic’s phone and potential hits turn to spectacular uncreative, uninspired, even

ghastly misses. Fashion is simply too ephemeral, retrospectively embarrassing us in a way that art can’t.

Years later, Duchamp’s Fountain – a urinal, by the way – is still hailed as a great Dadaist piece, but jeggings won’t be known as part of an elastic movement, nor socks and sandals a wave of pedalcoverism.

Like art, fashion design is a crea-

tive manifestation of the cultural zeitgeist too, but the abstract concept of fashion is not art, but a process – a constant and fragile suspension between two states: in and out.

might be good for nights out in Mosaic, but they aren’t exactly art. Alexander McQueen never uses polyester, put it that way. But then those clothes aren’t supposed to be art. They are supposed to be affordable, comfortable and reasonably stylish, and that is what they achieve (mostly - there are some things I’ve seen in Topshop that deserve to be destroyed).

Fashion, when it’s done right, can bring tears to your eyes Just like in any art medium, there is a spectrum of styles that goes right from the most basic Primark white t-shirt up to the fantastical couture creations currently swishing down the runways in Paris, and each person will classify a different range of fashion as “art.” Just like some people will say that lots of modern art is not really “art” in the same way that the Mona Lisa is, this same distinction is drawn between highstreet fashion and fashion as “art.” That doesn’t mean to say all fashion isn’t “art.”

Fashion, when it is done right, can bring tears to your eyes, can make you feel a million dollars and, in the case of designers like Vivienne Westwood who frequently brings the climate change conversation into her work, it can genuinely make a difference in the world.

Fashion is great. Fashion is greater than art.

RENT: a sellout success EXEPOSÉ

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Ruth Bailey reviews Shotgun Theatre’s production of the hit Broadway musical

Shotgun Theatre RENT Exeter Phoenix 20 January 2015

THE touching and often heartwrenching story of RENT was played out last week by the University of Exeter’s Shotgun Theatre. Jonathan Larson’s musical includes fantastically memorable characters whose paths intertwine as they join in solidarity, together experiencing love and loss under the harrowing conditions of a community living with the effects of AIDS.

overpowering. Sometimes it was far too loud, so that the clarity of voices and lyrics was often obscured.

This was a poignant, yet at the same time wonderfully upbeat, performance of the famous musical.

The cast included some outstanding singers and memorable character performances, both among the lead roles and the ensemble, who in any show, are in danger of being overlooked. Shotgun’s ensemble though gave just as notable a performance as any of the lead roles. They provided a strong and believable

back-drop of 1980s New York, with their own unique characterisation of the bohemian scene refusing to be obscured. A particular instance of success was during the song ‘La Vie Bohème’, when all (or at least the vast majority) of the cast were on the stage. Seated around a long table, the cast all had an extended opportunity to interact, and they succeeded in recreating the close-knit and vibrant bohemian scene.

They all worked very well together to pull off a comfortable and natural performance. I had never seen RENT before, and Shotgun’s performance was the perfect introduction – whacky, professional and a real credit to the company.

A real credit to the company What �irst struck me when I entered the Phoenix was the incredibly small stage, which seemed conducive only to fairly static performance. But the staging and choreography was incredibly effective in bursting out of this restrictive space and made the performance lively and immersive. It was a shame, however, that at many points the music (which, too, was fantastic, don’t get me wrong) was too

Hannah Butler News Editor

Faces of Con�lict RAMM Until 5 April 2015

“ARE you sure?” asks the usher with a playful grimace, when I tell him I’m here to see ‘Faces of Con�lict.’ He then smiles and gives me directions, saying he hopes I’ll enjoy the exhibition. And having spent the next half hour wandering open-mouthed amongst the exhibits, this seems like the best introduction to ‘Faces of Con�lict’ I could have had – being warned that it’s going to be shocking, but urged to go and see it anyway.

‘Faces of Con�lict’ is an exploration of facial reconstructive surgery. Organised in partnership with the University, and displaying works by artist in residence Paddy Hartley, it questions how facial injuries during the First World War in�luenced both surgeons and artists.

This in itself is a startling concept:

Arts in the news

ARTS

35

Artistic Licence This week plans have been unveiled for Mrs Doubtfire the musical. In light of this exciting news, we asked: WHICH MALE ACTOR WOULD YOU WANT AS YOUR NANNY AND WHY? “Liam Neeson - if anyone dares to mess with me, he will find them and he will kill them.”

PAVEL KONDOV

“Benedict Cumberbatch - it’d up my Tumblr popularity immediately” CHRIS FILSELL

“Arnold Schwarzenegger - what a challenge to make him look like a woman...”

ELLIE TAYLOR-ROBERTS

“Rowan Atkinson - Mr Bean and Johnny English rolled into one? 24 hour entertainment guaranteed” SOPHIE HARRISON

Photo: Kate Smethurst

plastic surgery as art? But after some thought, it makes perfect sense, and a quote from Fred Albee claiming plastic surgeons “must combine mechanical dexterity with artistic feeling” seems beautifully appropriate. For our faces are somehow different to the rest of our bodies. The way they look and move helps us identify ourselves.

Bradley Cooper to play Elephant Man in West End after Broadway stint

So when they are destroyed, what happens to this identity? Those who reconstructed the faces had to think not just about returning functionality, but giving soldiers back their identity – and seeing how surgeons and artists rose to this aesthetic challenge is aweinspiring.

The exhibition makes us question

Conceptual Mexican artist Abraham Cruzvillegas wins Tate commission

our assumptions of what a face should be, do, and look like. Some of the exhibits are grisly: “Why are their faces like that?” one girl asks, standing in front of Eleanor Crook’s eerie sculpture ‘And The Band Played On.’ Hearing how these soldiers had been injured, she asks, “so did they die?” This highlights something crucial about our response to facial injuries: the assumption that we cannot possibly live with a face so altered from what we consider “normal.” But the surgery explored in ‘Faces of Con�lict’ proves us wrong – and makes us question what a “normal” face actually is.

“How has this exhibition changed the way you think about dis�igurement?” we’re asked as we leave the room, with responses already �illing the board. “We are all incredible, amazing but fragile,” one visitor answers, while another writes: “we are all miracles, each and every one.” And I have to agree. ‘Faces of Con�lict’ is intriguing, alarming, yet brilliantly inspiring.

Ed Sheeran to be immortalised in wax by Madame Tussauds

“Martin Freeman - he already plays babysitter to Sherlock anyway” CARMEN PADDOCK

“Jonah Hill. For obvious reasons” ADAM SMITH “Channing Tatum. Breakdancing before bedtime” SARAH GOUGH “Morgan Freeman. Imagine that voice under a wig and pork pie hat” FLORA CARR

V&A in self-censorship row after image of Mohammed taken down

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Capcom’s remake shows real brains... delicious brains... braiiiiiiins Matthew Jones

Resident Evil HD Remaster Capcom PC, PS3, PS4, Xbox 360, Xbox One Out Now

SHINJI Mikami’s survival horror Resident Evil was originally released in 1996 on the PlayStation and later remade for the GameCube in 2002. It has now been remade once again for current and last-generation platforms in the form of the Resident Evil HD Remaster; a remake of a remake, if you will.

The game features members of the Special Tactics and Rescue Service, Chris Red�ield and Jill Valentine, one of whom you can choose to play as for the duration of the game. Chris

and Jill are sent to the outskirts of Raccoon City to investigate the disappearance of their comrades and end up becoming trapped in a puzzling, zombie-�illed mansion. These zombies are being generated by the nefarious Umbrella Corporation, a shady business specialising in bioengineering and viral warfare that has inevitably gone wrong and produced a virus that zombi�ies the population.

Upon startup, you can choose between the standard 16:9 widescreen aspect ratio or the classic 4:3, to really hit old players in the nostalgia.

The atmosphere is reminiscent of horror movies, with a carefully chosen level of lighting and pre-rendered scenes that invoke a similar sensation in the player to watching a classic horror from the 1920s. There are also small details around the mansion, such as patches of dirt on the carpet or scratches on the wall, which tonally fucks the player’s perceptions and adds to the verisimilitude - of, y’know, a zombie house.

You never know what is around the next corner and if it wants to eat you The game is made more heartpounding by the �ixed camera per-

spective, jumping from viewpoint to viewpoint, meaning you never know what is around the next corner and whether it wants to eat you or not.

That was too close!

You were almost a Jill Sandwich!

The original Resident Evil featured hilariously bad dialogue, with ridiculous lines like “That was too close! You were almost a Jill Sandwich!” In this version of the game, the script has been redone with some of the cheesier dialogue being cut or altered with new voice actors, which makes for a better game, but ruins some of the cult pleasures fans will be expecting.

The game features multiple endings to encourage repeat playthroughs from 100% Completion seekers and I would de�initely be going back for another zombie run.

But now for the part you’re all desperate to know about: the specs.

The game only runs at 1080p/30fps on current-gen, which is mildly disappointing since this is nearly a 20-yearold, non-open-world game, so the PS4 and Xbox One should very easily be able to run the game at 1080p/60fps. While it certainly looks better than its old GameCube version, some fans are still going to be left wanting.

However, for £15.99 the remaster is still fantastic value for money. The grandfather of the zombie game isn’t dead yet.

THIS IS (Microsoft) SPARTAN!

“Windows! Ready your operating systems! Tonight we browse in Hell” Joshua Rochtelle

MICROSOFT has gone all 300 on us and decided it’s time to release a new browser, known as Spartan. An understandable decision: almost everyone by now knows of the terri�ic fun that has been poked at Internet Explorer for years on end.

We are told that this is an entirely separate endeavour than Internet Explorer, and in Microsoft’s favour, the new Spartan does appear to sport Safari - 3.7%

Internet Explorer - 8%

a couple of new gubbins with fancy codenames: Chakra and Trident, a JavaScript and rendering engine, as well as extension capability respectively.

If that sounds like jargon, it’s because it is; but in short, the idea is that this new tech should make Spartan better, faster, and stronger than its competitors - and if that’s not enough, then you’ll be able to stick on an extension some third-party genius came up with to improve it.

Opera - 1.6%

Most Popular Browsers Source: W3 Schools December 2014 Browser Usage Statistics

Mozilla Firefox - 27% Google Chrome - 62%

But therein lies the rub. Before Spartan has even stepped up to the plate, it already has two monstrous monoliths of competition: Firefox, the ultra-extendible Mozilla product, and Google Chrome, the super-sleek offering from the mega-corporation of the same name.

Those tech-savvy enough to care about what browser they’re using are emphatically not using Internet Explorer, they’re using one of these two, and they’re also the only ones with the know-how to make good extensions. So who will be making extensions for Spartan?

The capability to have extensions isn’t much use if there are no extensions to be capable of using.

Spartan’s only option is to be good enough on a technical level to lure back these techno-wizards. Whether Trident and Chakra will be up to the task is anyone’s guess.

It’s a tough game Microsoft is play-

ing; fans of either browser are often notoriously entrenched in their side of the debate, and will doubtless be tricky to attract.

There’s also an elephant in the room, whose trunk I am sick of sidestepping: why on Earth do we even need Spartan? There are two established browsers out there already, which do everything their users want and more. Switching to a new one seems unnecessary. I know the hotkeys for Firefox like the back of my hand, and frankly I don’t care how many tridents and pitchforks you cram into the next browser.

Some people will use Spartan. I will be us-

ing it to download Firefox. My nan will use

Spartan, because it will come with Windows and she doesn’t care. But otherwise, we have Firefox the mechanic, Google Chrome the fashion designer, Safari the expensive artsy type, and, err, Opera. With this trio and fourth wheel standing at the ready on the battle�ield, we are left asking a question: Spartan, what is your profession? And so far, the purposeless warrior, for all of its bragging about its new muscles, seems to be shuf�ling rather awkwardly in silence.

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GAMES & TECH

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Igniting passions for programming Josh Creek and Adam Smith Games & Tech Editors HAVE you ever fancied trying your hand at being a hacker? Have a penchant for business or maybe consider yourself a budding entrepreneur?

Fancy a weekend of thrills, spills and a million laughs? Then IGNITE’s hackathon is just the thing for you. IGNITE is the University of Exeter’s student entrepreneur support unit, that pledges to support students’ ideas “whether [they] want to tackle a social problem through social enterprise, or explore and set up a commercial business.

Despite the name, a hackathon is not a concentrated event to hack any university systems.

The Facebook and Twitter pass-

words of Exeter students will remain protected. Rather, a ‘hackathon’ is an event where computer programmers come together to develop software in a short space of time, with increased pressure and the looming deadline, something has to be made by the end of it.

You’re free to programme in any language of your choosing but naturally Microsoft’s own .Net languages (such as C#.Net and VB.Net) make developing for Windows and Windows Phone easier. However, programming skills are not a necessity for the competition because you can either join a team with people who can programme or you can learn to programme during the competition.

IGNITE’s most recent success story happened two years

ago, when a team of four Exeter students came together, united in their frustration at, ironically, not being able to come up with an app idea for the IGNITE h a c k athon.

At 02:00, with the dawn approaching fast and the muse still yet to strike these aspiring students, they decided...to take a break and listen to some music. It was here that an idea struck them like electricity - the idea that the same song could be played simultaneously through several phones at once so that the audio can be boosted.

SoundSYNK won the category nationally and eventually led them to win at the World Finals in Russia That is the story of SoundSYNK. The app, which allowed synchronous playback of music through multiple devices, won the team their category nationally and, eventually, led them to win at the World Finals in Russia. They were �lown to the States to present in front of 14,000 Microsoft staff in Atlanta. The world �inals of the Microsoft Imagine Cup 2013 were held

in St. Petersburg, Russia and were hosted by Matt Smith, the former Doctor Who actor and recent star in Ryan Gosling’s directorial debut, Lost River.

T h e SoundSYNK team rec e i v e d $50,000 from the grand prize, and secured a £10,000 business grant from Creative England as well as an offer of a place within SETsquared’s technology business incubator scheme.

After last year’s hackathon three �irst year Business School students also got through to the world �inals of the Imagine Cup, this time �lying out to Seattle (the home of Microsoft), and attending a private meeting with Steven Guggenheimmer - a CVP and Chief Eva n g e list at M i c ro soft.

Their app was called ‘ R i p ple’ and allowed users to connect with others close to them via simple instant messaging, the idea being that users can send messages to anyone nearby without the need to ‘connect’ or become friends �irst - useful for checking what’s just been said in a lecture or seeing if anyone else in your halls wants to join you for Domino’s.

Important

Dates

Student Start-up Pitch Launch 4 February 2pm - 4pm Social Media for Start-ups 11 February 2pm - 4pm Hackathon (Microsoft Imagine Cup) All You Need to Know 11 February 4pm - 5pm The Student Start-up Pitch SemiFinals 18th February 2pm - 4pm The Student Start Up Pitch FINALS 25 February 2pm - 4pm Hackathon - Microsoft Imagine Cup 27 February 6pm - 1 March 4pm Whether or not you already have an idea for an app, or just want to get involved in a technology startup, hackathons are a great way to network and gain experience and contacts, as well as the old cliché of enhancing your CV. You don’t have to by any means, but you can work through the night, planning, designing and programming with friends, old and new in an epic race to build the app of the future in a single weekend.

Sign up and get imagining!

To �ind out more or book a place on the hackathon, check out these links: http://www.exeterguild.org/hackathon/ http://www.exeterguild.org/ignite/events/

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A boy asked his friends for the name of a song…

And you just will not believe what Adan Banga says happened next!

Conor made the initial call that it was a “funny” question and he believed there would be “no chance in hell” of a right answer ever being returned to him. Perhaps it was this very choice of words which led to the �iery enthusiasm, and downright precision

answer. I made the suggestion that ‘Just a day’ by Feeder, may have been the tune in question, the track containing a considerably “woo woo woo” sound resemblance at both the intro and the chorus. With the digital equivalent of a pat on the back, Conor sadly unveiled this suggestion, while an “appreciated” piece of help, was wrong.

Perhaps it was this very choice of words which led to the �iery enthusiasm Back to the drawing board for

Puzzle Corner

Answers:

Across: 1 Light, 4 Shuttle, 8 Plaster, 9 Space, 10 Tribe, 11 Planet, 13 Coyote, 15 Pebble, 18 Course, 20 Split, 22 Accra, 23 Cartoon, 24 Karaoke, 25 Ankle.

The �ield already yielded a potential answer

of the events that would follow.

Conor described that himself and a group of friends were unable to remember the name of a song, which he only described as sounding a bit like “Blurs Woo woo wooo” (Song 2). The �ield was narrowed marginally due to the song having potentially making an appearance in a “racing/bmx/ skateboarding” game, from the glory days era of the PS1/PS2. The reasons behind wanting to know this song, besides potentially curing Conor’s earworm case, still remain unknown.

The �ield, while still wider than the Atlantic, already yielded a potential

Conor’s quest.

A mere hour later, Alex Hooper dropped what might only be described as the metaphorical, laser-guided bomb, and nailed the situation. But not just nailed. Nailed like a marmot if it were to poke its head out of its burrow, having been hunted for three days by Alpine trappers, only to be killed by a loose pebble dislodged 2,500ft up the slopes. What had started as a small hunt, had ascended into nothing, but somehow managed to yield an answer: ‘Bohemian Like You’ by The Dandy Warhols.

Alex has since been called a ‘life-saver’ by his peers and Conor himself. His effort is called ‘Heroic’ (one below Mythic), and ‘impressive’, by others.

Will XiauSong Lu, the society’s President, is unavailable for comment

Down: 1 Lipstick, 2 Gravity, 3 Title, 4 Scrape, 5 Upstage, 6 Tease, 7 Even, 12 Sentence, 14 Tornado, 16 Bullock, 17 Rescue, 19 Oscar, 20 Syria, 21 Walk.

OCCASIONALLY in life, great groups of people collaborate to help overcome a common problem. The evening of the 22 January found one Exeter man facing an issue that has plagued humanity for numerous years: the earworm, having a song stuck in one’s head which will not stop playing. But the man in question, Conor Morgan, faced a much greater issue. He didn’t even know the name of the song.

Plagued by fear, uncertainty and doubt, Conor posted his issue onto the Exeter eSports Facebook page, a group of 219 �inely tuned rigs, redditors and uncomfortable EA players.

Sudoku #8 and Crossword #71 by Alfred

at this time, perhaps viewing the entire situation as a gross misallocation of academic resources.

In a world where many gamers struggle to dress themselves and get to lectures, it is incredible that within the space of an hour, a very real modern day struggle for the Western way of life was identi�ied, targeted, and eliminated (tango down). Maybe if gamers were recruited more frequently to deal with humanitarian crises, which might be considered unanswerable at �irst, there would be far more ef�icient decision making in their management.

Considering, Conor had believed that there was “no chance in hell” of �inding his answer, maybe hell has a lot more chances within it than anyone would have thought.

Across:

Down:

1) Weightless (like 16 in 2 scenes?) (5) 4) Form of 9 transport - it explodes in 2 (7) 8) Bandage (for a wound) (7) 9) Room - the setting for most of 2 (5) 10) Large family (5) 11) Celestial body - Earth is the main one in 2 (6) 13) Prairie wolf (6) 15) Small stone (6) 18) Programme (of lectures) (6) 20) Divide (5) 22) The capital of Ghana (5) 23) Comic drawing (7) 24) Public singing of songs (in a bar) (7) 25 Joint in the leg (5)

1) Make-up for the mouth (8) 2) Importance 19-winning 2013 sci-�i �ilm starring a 16 in 9 (7) 3) Name (5) 4) Grind (6) 5) Draw attention away from someone (7) 6) Pull someone’s leg (5) 7) Flat (4) 12) Verdict (of a judge) (8) 14) Hurricane (7) 16) Ox (who appears in 2?) (7) 17) Save (6) 19) Film award - 2 won seven in 2014 (5) 20) (Con�licted) Middle East nation (5) 21) Go on foot after 9, an event in 2? (4)

42

SPORT

NEWS 1-7

COMMENT FEATURES 12-17 8-11

LIFESTYLE SABB ELECTION PULLOUT 18-21

MUSIC 23-25

SCREEN 26-29

BOOKS 30-31

ARTS 33-35

GAMES & TECH

38-41

SPORT 42-44

2 FEBRUARY 2015 |

EXEPOSÉ

Photo: Tom Haigh

Captain’s Corner EUMHC’s 1s captain Ed Fleet sat down with us before their annual Varsity �ixture on 25 February HOW does it feel to lead the team this year?

It was an honour to be asked to captain the side this year: we are a club with a history of success and the challenge is to maintain this. This year is very much a transition year for the club, with the departure of our long -term coach and a large percentage of our squad. However, we have recruited and progressed well and have a solid foundation to build from.

How has the �irst half of your season been?

It has been a tough �irst half of the

season, and with only three boys remaining from last year’s side it was always going to be hard work. However, we currently sit top of the Southern Premier for BUCS, only one win away from taking the title. Our hardest test has been in National League.

It is a big step up from BUCS hockey but the boys have been working hard and we are starting to show our potential, however still need a few more good results to be sure of safety.

What big games or events do you have coming up?

On 25 February we will be playing our

quarter �inal of the BUCS Champions, which is likely to be against Durham, Loughborough or Nottingham, all of which would be fantastic opposition.

This also sees the return of our annual Varsity, which for only £5 a ticket is one of the premier sporting events Exeter has to offer and will showcase hockey at the highest level.

What is your favourite thing about the team and the Hockey Club?

EUMHC is a great club to be a part of; we are very close-knit. We pride ourselves on our club integration both with coaching and the social aspect.

The 1s themselves have some big characters, no more so than the Vice Captain, Will Baker. We play or train six days a week so it’s important to have people within the squad to keep the boys going.

How long have you been playing for?

I started playing hockey at the age of six for my local club, Cannock. I played there until coming down to Exeter last year.

Do you have any pre-game rituals?

Apart from some music in the chang-

ing rooms there is not much else to my routine, although my music tastes aren’t always welcome

Who is your sporting hero?

Roger Federer, he’s an absolute legend.

What are your aspirations for after university?

After University I plan to work in London, where I will hopefully be playing National League for a side in the area.

EUNC 1s fall short against Brunel

After their away loss, Netball 1s Captain Lydia Regis reports on the EUNC’s season as they near the play off games N������

Lydia Regis

EUNC 1s Captain Brunel EUNC 1s

67 31

THIS season has been a journey of highs and lows for EUNC 1s. Competing in Premier South there are no easy games, and with a young squad they have shown true resilience against some of the netball powerhouses in their league.

The team faced some of their toughest games at the start of the season and although they sit �ifth in the league, clear improvements have been made against opponents like Bath, losing by 17 on the �irst leg and a mere six on the return �ixture.

Looking at the league it could be regarded as a table of two halves with Brunel taking the place as Exeter’s closest competitor. Having lost on home turf, Exeter travelled to their rivals with a score to settle and, despite some fearless play, the Exeter side were unable to come out with a win. Although the girls were able to consistently stay within contention for the majority of the game, in front of a home crowd, the Brunel side were strong enough to be able to build momentum and pull away in the �inal quarter to win 67-31.

Looking forward to their next few games, Exeter face UWE in a must-win match with the loser facing relegation.

Having won the away tie EUNC go into the game as the favourites, but as anyone who has watched high level net-

ball knows, a match can be won or lost in a matter of seconds. With such high stakes riding on the outcome, it will by no means be a walkover.

Looking forward to their next few games Exeter face UWE in a must-win match, with the loser facing relegation Knockouts are also just around the corner where anything can happen, and having reached the quarter�inals for the past 2 years the team will be looking to at least replicate their previous achievements.

Although on paper it seems as if

the Exeter 1s are not having the greatest season, there are many positives that can be taken from this year’s performances. Athletic fresher Rosamund Hawkins has made her mark in EUNC for her consistent performances, notable showcases of defensive ability have come from from second year Holly Wilson and Team Bath Superleague player Ellie Gibbons has shot consistently all season. Undoubtedly the young team this year has put in the necessary graft to begin building a squad which is sure to become a force to be reckoned with.

Looking at the club as a whole, EUNC are stronger than ever with record turnouts at games, four teams in the running for promotion and particularly exceptional results from the 2s. As the league draws to a close,

EUNC will look to �inish strong in preperation for their play off games.

BUCS Netball 2014-15 Premier South

P W D L Pts Cardiff Met 1s

7 7 0 0 21

Cardiff 1s

8 7 0 1 21

Bath 1s

9 6 0 3 18

Brunel 1s

9 4 0 5 12

Exeter 1s

8 1 0 7

3

UWE 1s

9 0 0 9

0

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Tries galore as 2s run riot

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43

The best of BUCS Selected results from BUCS matches played on 28 January Badminton Men’s 1s Plymouth

7 1

Golf Exeter 1s Merrist Wood

5 1

Hockey Men’s 3s Cardiff

3 3

Women’s 2s USW

8 1

Lacrosse Men’s 1s Portsmouth

20 0

Women’s 1s Oxford

10 7

Women’s 2s Bristol

10 8

Netball Men’s 3s UWE

53 38

Rugby Union >> Clockwise from top left: Sam Middlemiss puts the ball in at the scrum, Alex Ross takes on a defender, Doug Ebanks and Felix Dujol celebrate. Photos: Edwin Yeung

CONTINUED FROM BACK PAGE ...to set up an Exeter break, �inishing with winger David Scupham racing over to further assert Exeter’s ascendency after only 12 minutes.

A scrappy period of play ensued with both sides guilty of knocking the ball on in mid�ield. Furthermore, an ugly moment occurred when the opposition winger was shoved into the barriers pitch side, hitting his head in the process. Despite not being able to play on, he showed no signs of serious injury.

What followed was perhaps the moment of the match as second row Cosmo Warner broke, before providing an of�load out of the back of his hand for the ever-present Alex Lewis to race away to score a sensational try that left the score at 22-7 just before the half-hour mark.

There was more than enough time before the break for another brilliant Exeter try. The superb Charlie Skipwith turned over a Queen Mary ball before Angus Wilson fed Scupham

who showed remarkable pace to stun the visitors who only seconds previously had been on the attack.

Exeter entered the break the far happier of the two teams, leading 27-7. However, once the second half kicked off, the hosts turned it up yet another gear.

The full time result was testament to the accuracy and organisation of the Exeter side After a scintillating break from the lively Bath, the ball found its way out to winger Struminski who �inished in typically strong fashion, fending off the attentions of the opposition winger and full back. Exeter continued to press, showing excellent organisation both in attack and in defence and continually getting over the gain line.

Their opponents, despite being well behind on the scoreboard, also tried their best to show some enterprising and running rugby.

Unsurprisingly by this stage, it was to no avail. Replacement scrum-half Sam Middlemiss picked up a loose ball before Dan Sanders expertly drew two men, releasing Scupham to run in unopposed for his hat trick.

Again Sanders provided the impetus for another attack, this time �inished by other winger Struminski for his hat trick. Minutes later Struminski added his fourth after showing great power and pace, terrorising the opposition defence.

Number eight Doug Ebanks had worked tirelessly all game and proceeded to score a quick-�ire hat trick with the match already in the bag.

After dotting down off the back of a consistently powerful Exeter scrum, Ebanks showed great strength to break the Queen Mary’s line and jog in under the posts. His �inal score �inished off a lovely �lowing move from

the Exeter backs, dissecting the Queen Mary’s defence in a manner typical of their clinical game on the day.

In the �inal play of the game, Skipwith, a leader throughout, fed Scupham who again showed electric pace to �inish off the game in the same manner as it had started: with a try.

The full time result of 73-7 really was testament to the accuracy and organisation of the Exeter side, matched by their immense raw power and pace. The forwards provided the perfect platform with which the backs, marshalled by �ly-half Chris Gallaway, could wreak havoc.

EURFC 2s move up into fourth place in the Premier South B division with three games remaining.

É

+121

Points difference accumulated by EURFC 2s after 11 games this season

Men’s 1s Bristol

61 0

Women’s 1s USW

44 0

Rugby League Men’s 1s Loughborough

40 10

Men’s 2s Bristol

22 0

Squash Men’s 2s Bristol

2 3

Women’s 2s Swansea

2 1

Tennis Men’s 1s Imperial College London

4 8

Men’s 2s Swansea

2 1

44

NEWS 1-7

SPORT

COMMENT FEATURES 12-17 8-11

SPORT

LIFESTYLE SABB ELECTION PULLOUT 18-21

MUSIC 23-25

SCREEN 26-29

BOOKS 30-31

ARTS 33-35

GAMES & TECH

38-41

SPORT 42-44

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James Beeson & Sophy Coombes-Roberts sport@exepose.com

Demons slay Gladiators EURFC 2s win big FOLLOW US ON TWITTER @ExeposeSport

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EURFC 2s Queen Mary

>> Othniel Lewis Jnr trucks a defender during the Demons’ rout over Gloucester. Photo: Thomas Hanks

A������� F������� Lewis Gregory Sports Team Exeter Demons Gloucester Gladiators

49 0

FRESH and rested after the Christmas break, the Exeter Demons continued their winning streak as they defeated the Gloucestershire Gladiators 49-0 at Duckes Meadow in a game they could ill afford to lose as the race for the division championship heats up.

Exeter won the toss and chose to defer, giving the �irst possession to the Gladiators. Exeter’s dominant defence forced a quick three and the Gloucester snap was low. The fumbled punt was recovered by Exeter deep inside the Gloucestershire red zone. On second and goal, Exeter’s Michael Reece pushed the pile to land in the end zone for the �irst score of the game. Francis Annandale tacked on the PAT making

In this issue of Exeposé Sport...

the score 7-0 Exeter early on.

Things went from bad to worse for the Gladiators as the ensuing kick-off was mishandled and recovered again deep in the Gloucestershire Red Zone.

With virtually no time off the clock, the game was 14-0 to Exeter, as running back, Tommy Dexter bounced outside and went sprinting into the end zone.

The onslaught continued on the following drive, as Rookie cornerback Josh Carvey leapt ahead of the Gloucester receiver for his �irst pick for the Demons. Again, the Demons offence capitalised and quickly put the ball back in the end zone as third year veteran Alex Briggs took the handoff on the reverse and went virtually untouched into the end zone for his �irst of two on the day. With a missed PAT and a blocked FG on the following possession it was 27–0 at the end of the �irst quarter.

The second quarter was to bring no more luck for the visitors as their

�irst possession stalled and the Exeter offence put together a clinical drive that culminated in yet another score.

Second year Jean-Paul Azzopardi pounded across the goal line, putting the score to 33 – 0 after a missed kick.

Yet another Gladiator drive was to end in woe as the defence continued to dominate. After a promising Gloucester drive put them into Exeter’s half, Ioan Plumtree plucked another Gloucester pass out of the air and ended all hope of a Gladiator score. Again the offence wasted little time scoring.

On the �irst play of the drive, quarterback Francis Annandale �loated a deep pass that fell perfectly into the waiting arms of Michael Reece who effortlessly breezed past his defender into the end zone, making it Exeter 40 – 0 Gloucester at the half.

The second half started sluggishly as the game was stopped for an injury for Gloucester. However, any ideas that the respite would work in favour of

Captain’s Corner: EUMHC’s Ed Fleet Page 54

the reeling visitors was soon quashed when cornerback Harry Brantingham added to the tally of Exeter defensive backs with interceptions as he plucked the pass out of the air and returned it 65 yards for the touchdown.

The bulk of the action had now past but Exeter’s unshakable defence were determined to maintain the shutout while the offence whittled down the clock. The Demons mercilessly tore off yards on the ground with punishing runs from rookies Othniel Lewis, Jake Cowley and Jin Yoo who consistently found gaps in the Gladiator defence or bowled over defenders and capped off a �inal drive with a 30 yard �ield goal.

Leaving little time on the clock, the Exeter defence was able to hold off a �inal desperate Gladiator attack as the game ended 49-0 to the home side.

This winning result was the Demons’ fourth on the trot, lifting them to joint top in the South West division, level on points with Swansea and Cardiff.

73 7

THE EURFC Men’s 2s welcomed Queen Mary University to Topsham last Wednesday (28 January) and duly proceeded to teach a lesson in clinical rugby to their visitors, running out emphatic 73-7 victors.

‘Relentless’ would be the most accurate word to describe the hosts. At a chilly Fortress Topsham, Exeter ran in 13 tries, all of substantial quality, with Queen Mary scoring just one consolation.

From the off, Exeter were on the front foot. A good half break from fullback Alex Ross was capitalised upon by scrum-half James Bath, whose quick service from the base of the ruck fed Jacob Knight who �inished well to open the rout.

‘Relentless’ would be the most accurate word to describe the hosts However the lead would be shortlived as the visitors responded almost immediately. One of the few missed tackles from the home side resulted in the impressive Queen Mary outside centre cantering in under the posts.

However the visitors’ scoreboard would stop ticking thereafter.

Scrum-half Bath provided the impetus with a sniping break before the ball was �lung out wide to wing Aron Struminski who crossed easily to take the home side back into the lead at 107. Ross then produced a sublime step step under pressure in his own 22...

CONTINUED ON PAGE 55

EURFC 2s: Full report & photos For the latest BUCS Page 55 content go online