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ISSUE NO. 1403

24 - 30 MAY 2012


Balearics top pick for British beach breaks


 902 88 90 70

By Nicole Hallett THE Balearic Islands is the most sought-after beach destination worldwide for British travellers. It was followed by the Algarve in Portugal in second and Malaga and the Costa del Sol in third spot on Expedia’s 2012 Beach Report based on bookings for hotel stays to sun-andsea destinations for UK travellers so far this summer. Three other Spanish beach destinations made it onto the list; the Canary Islands in seventh, Alicante and the Costa Blanca in 15th and Valencia and the Costa Azahar in 17th positions. This means that a quarter of the top 20 sea-and-sun destinations preferred by Britons are in Spain. Two English coastal counties made it onto the list, Devon and Cornwall in 16th, with the town of Bournemouth taking up the last spot. Italy had three beach destinations on the list including Sorrento, Lake Garda, and the Amalfi Coast in fourth, ninth and 19th place respectively. Other European


Polish man released A 33-YEAR-OLD Polish man that was arrested in connection with a sexual attack on a German woman in April in Magalluf while she was cycling home was released after the victim was not able to fully identify him.

Living alone ONE in three people registered in Palma de Mallorca live alone, according to a recent study.

Speed control

FAVOURITE: The Balearic Islands are the most sought-after for British tourists. destinations included the French Riviera in fifth spot, Malta in sixth, the Cyclades Islands in Greece in 11th, the Croatian Coast in 13th, and Cyprus in 14th. Just three non-European destinations were included in the top 20. They are Morocco in eighth spot, and the US cities of Miami, Florida and Monterey, California in 12th and 18th positions.

This is evidence of Britons looking to cut the cost of their summer holidays, said Expedia. “It is interesting to see that short-haul travel and ‘staycations’ continue to be a trend for UK travellers this summer,” said Andy Washington, managing director of Expedia’s UK and Ireland operations. “We often see travel patterns changing in line

with currency fluctuations, and we expect many Britons to take advantage of the relative strength of the pound against the euro, with European destinations growing in popularity.” Earlier this month sterling rose to a three-and-a-halfyear high against the euro, giving British travellers around 10 per cent more for their money, compared with last summer. Meanwhile, Jersey topped the list for the top 10 British beach destinations, followed by Bournemouth, Blackpool, Torquay, Isle of Wight, Guernsey, Newquay, Weymouth, Penzance and Ramsgate. • Turn to Page 4

SIX speed bumps have been installed by Andratx Town Hall in the town in a bid to control speeding in areas near schools.

Farmer dies A 68-YEAR-OLD man died while driving a tractor on his farm in Llucmajor. It is believed he died of a heart attack before the vehicle overturned.

Counterfeit cash A WOMAN was arrested on money laundering charges after she allegedly tried to pass on five counterfeit €100 notes in Palma de Mallorca.



24 - 30 May 2012


Yacht race: Page 6.

News 1-7

Finance 11-18

Expat-Extra 19

Classified 42-43

Motoring/ Sport 47-48

TV listings 32


Palma couple forced women into sex trade A COUPLE have been arrested in Palma for allegedly forcing two other Bulgarians into prostitution.


Overnight stays THE number of overnight stays at hotels in the Balearics fell by 8 per cent in April, while the average occupancy was 59 per cent, INE data shows.

The detainees, a woman aged 26 and a 23-year-old man, have been charged with sexual aggression and

keeping a person against their will. One of the victims was working at a casino in Bulgaria when she was convinced by her cousin to come and live with her in Palma where she was told she would have a better life and be able to find work. After travelling to Mallorca and moving in with her cousin, the 19year-old was reportedly forced to have sex with customers and beaten if she refused. CULINARY EXPERIENCE: The harbourside restaurant. She had to work many hours a day without rest and had to pay between â‚Ź1,200 and â‚Ź1,300 every MORE than 100 people attended the ‘Opening Evening’ of the harbourside three days for living costs and cocaine. OttoMare restaurant set in the small bay of Darsena de Can Barbara, Palma. After a month she was Italian Chef Antonio Ummarino created an array of mini dishes that moved to a second reflected his passion for sourcing the freshest of local ingredients to create property with another modern Mediterranean cuisine inspired by his Amalifi Coast homeland. woman, aged 20.

Two jailed TWO men were sentenced to three years and three years and nine months respectively for receiving 147g of cocaine from Costa Rica posted to them hidden in a coffee maker.

OttoMare hosts Opening Evening

Info centre A TOURIST information office is set to open at Bellver Castle in Palma de Mallorca, officials said.






Dep. Legal DLPM-140-2004

CALL NOW  MALLORCA OFFICE Ctra. Andratx 32, Portals Nous, 07181, Calvia, Mallorca, Islas Baleares, Spain Tel: 971 682 795 HEAD OFFICE COSTA DEL SOL Calle Moscatel 10, P-62, PolĂ­gono Industrial Arroyo de la Miel, 29631, Benalmadena, MĂĄlaga, Spain Tel: (0034) 952 561 245 Fax: (0034) 952 440 887

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24 - 30 May 2012



Mallorca public transport price rise THE cost of public transport in Mallorca is to increase by up to nearly 58 per cent. Depending on the type of ticket, the increase could be anywhere from 4.85 to 57.8 per cent, as was approved by the Balearic Government. The new tariffs were set to come into effect Tuesday, it was reported in Spanish newspaper ABC.

HIKE: Train fares are set to rise to €1.50 The biggest increase is in train and metro tickets which go up from 95c to

€1.50 per journey. Tickets to the first zones outside Palma, for example to Alaro, increase from €1.30 to €2.05, a 57.6 per cent rise. To three zones the increase is from €2.45 to €3.80, a 56 per cent rise and stops past two zones is up from €1.85 to €2.80, a 52 per cent hike. While the special 20 journey and 40 journey tickets have also increased, these are between 4.85 and 31.7 per cent.

Day out for the Ses Minyones NEARLY 30 children and their carers from Ses Minyones, the Palma based home for orphaned, abandoned and abused children, enjoyed a brilliant day out. This was thanks to the Rotary Club of Calvia and Katmandu Park in Magaluf, and in particular their marketing director Nicky Muñoz. Ses Minyones would like to thank them as well as the 41 Club and the coffee ladies for providing the coach and T-shirts.

Burglars caught? THREE people were arrested in connection with various burglaries of houses in Bunyola, Palmanyola and Pont d’Inca and a fourth is believed to have burgled two houses on the outskirts of Calvia.

Toll protest AROUND 200 vehicles took part in a protest at Soller tunnel on Sunday organised by a lobby called Majorca lliure de peatges (for a toll-free Mallorca). The one-anda-half-hour protest consisted of two lines of cars – one from Soller, the other Bunyola which drove through the tunnel without paying, causing delays. Their car number plates have been photographed and they will be fined €100, according to the Guardia Civil.

A 37-YEAR-OLD Bulgarian was detained in Palma de Mallorca on a European arrest warrant. He allegedly was involved with a drug gang in Bulgaria in 2006. He has also been charged with providing false documentation.

Forced to beg COMPETING: Veteran Humperdinck (left) and Pastora Soler (main photo).

Humperdinck is better bet


HE UK has a better chance of winning Saturday’s Eurovision Song Contest than Spain. While bookies rank veteran crooner Engelbert Humperdinck - representing the UK - as 12-1 favourite to win, they are offering odds of 20-1 against Spanish singer Pastora Soler. Best known for his number one hits including Release Me and The Last Waltz, 76year-old Humperdinck will be singing Love

Will Set You Free when he lines up against 25 other contestants in Baku, Azerbaijan, watched by an estimated 125 million television viewers . With her style a fusion of flamenco and modern pop, 33-year-old Soler’s first big hit single sold 120,000 copies in Spain and was also a number one hit in Turkey in the 1990s. Favourite to win this year’s Eurovision competition is the entry from Sweden.

13,000 on cheating website

Twice arrested

MORE than 7,000 Palma residents have signed up to AshleyMadison, a web page that offers people the opportunity to be unfaithful to their partners. Of these 63 per cent are men and 37 per cent women, according to a study by the website. More than 13,000 people in the Balearics are users of this site, while Mallorca has the highest number of unfaithful partners, making up 85 per cent of the total.

AFTER getting out of prison for a murder committed in 1993, a 43-year-old Spanish man was arrested twice in 24-hours for threatening his mother in Picassent. The second time was just two hours after release from the first arrest.

Quote of the week

N watch ews

Man detained

Charity Festival THE Great Charity Festival will take place at the animal refuge on Call Nou, S’Indioteria on Sunday June 3, 10am-8pm. There will be performances by The Lady Letitia and Bambi, Mel I Sucre, Aliento Urbano, Manolito, Duo Pirates, Sahra Lee, Tom Trovador and Zombie Cars. The charity shops will be selling clothing, appliances, household items, toys, furniture, books and plants. There will also be a children’s make-up artist, bar service with cakes and pies. Entrance with raffle ticket is €1.50. Call 971 470 060.


The match will have to be suspended… if there is any offensive behaviour against the Spanish hymn, royal family or flag’

Esperanza Aguirre, Madrid Region President, regarding the Athletic de Bilbao and FC Barcelona match in Madrid tomorrow (Friday).

Number of the week


kilos is the weight of a mushroom found in the town of Teverga in Asturias. The huge mushroom will be exhibited in the town. It was found by two men by chance and is commonly known in Spain as ‘Wolf’s Fart’.

THE ex-partner and mother-in-law of an 18year-old Romanian woman were arrested in Mallorca for allegedly forcing her to beg since she was age 17.

Hotel on fire THREE hundred and fifty people were evacuated from Hotel Alicia in Palma de Mallorca after a fire broke out at 12.49pm on Tuesday.

New trucks FIRE-FIGHTERS in Mallorca will have nine new fire trucks as of June and are currently learning how they work.

and finally... A WOMAN, 46, was arrested in Castellon for allegedly making at least 70 bogus bomb alerts to the National Police and other forces. She would also report fights, abuse and fires, which were also found to be false, and she will be charged with wasting police time.



24 - 30 May 2012 Mallorca

8% Spanish dare to bare it all on beach holidays By Nicole Hallett AFTER the Germans, Spaniards are the most likely to go naked on a beach holiday. While 15 per cent of Germans will take it all off, 8 per cent of Spaniards will, according to Expedia’s summer

TOP 10 From Front Page 1. BALEARIC ISLANDS – British favourite! 2. Algarve, Portugal 3. Malaga & Costa del Sol 4. Sorrento (Penisola Sorrentina), Italy 5. French Riviera, France 6. Malta 7. Canary Islands 8. Morocco 9. Lake Garda, Italy 10. Channel Islands, UK

travel survey. The question of nude sunbathing was posed to 8,600 people in 21 countries as part of the 2012 Flip Flop study which revealed only 2 per cent of Brits are willing to bare all at the beach. The French were far more modest with 5 per cent saying they took it all off on the beach, given the tradition of topless sunbathing on the Riviera. Japanese were the most modest with just 1 per cent willing to bare all on the beach. They were followed

closely by the Brits, North Americans, Argentinians and New Zealanders, with 2 per cent of those surveyed in these countries willing to go naked. Meanwhile, it seems that beachgoers have never gotten over ‘Jaws’. While less than 100 shark bite incidents are reported worldwide each year, half of travellers consider the presence of sharks when deciding where to holiday and 68 per cent admitted to having been afraid to swim because of sharks.


Stories making headlines from the United Kingdom

Oldest kidney donor, 83 AN 83-year-old man and former charity director from Overton Hampshire has become the oldest person in the country to donate a kidney to a stranger on the NHS waiting list.

Alcohol deaths ONE in eight deaths of adults under 64 is caused by alcohol, an international conference on tackling problem drinking was informed. Organisers have called for England to follow Scotland and set a minimum price per unit and have demanded a ban on advertising alcohol.

Jailed for 27 years ELEVEN Moroccans were sentenced to 27-years-andthree-months in prison after confessing to their crimes. They had a monopoly on the sale of hashish in the Son Gotleu neighbourhood of Palma de Mallorca in the summer of 2010. At the time of their arrest, officers seized 45kg of cannabis.

Fewer deaths

DARING: Getting naked on the beach.

Identification? No problem! SPANISH police have been warned not to carry out ‘massive’ or ‘indiscriminate’ checks to flush out illegal immigrants. Neither may quotas for a fixed number of immigrant arrests be imposed on police officers. These are amongst guidelines in a circular issued on Monday by the


General Police Directorate. Police are frequently criticised for the types of citizens they routinely ask for identification in the street or crowded public places like bus stations or Metro stations. Those approached are invariably targeted because of the colour of their skin or their physical appearance,


DISPLAY: By the armed forces.

Austere celebrations THE Spanish Ministry of Defence will spend 85 per cent less on the Day of the Armed Forces celebrations which will be held in Valladolid on June 2, than the €1.3 million spent last year when it was in Malaga (pictured).

non-government organisations point out. This is untrue, insisted Interior minister, Jorge Fernandez at the weekend. Requests for identification are based solely on crime prevention, he said. The instructions were put in writing in the circular to clarify in a straightforward manner how citizens are to be treated when asked for identification, said Spain’s police chief, Ignacio Cosido. The circular was also aimed at preventing ambiguity or ‘imprecise interpretations’ leading to ‘improper’ restrictions to immigrants’ rights and freedom. Operations deemed ‘unnecessary, arbitrary, abusive or going beyond legally-permitted functions of the police’ are ruled out. Identifying people who arouse police suspicions should be ‘proportionate, respectful and likely to cause the least impact on the individual.’ Irregular immigrants should not be taken to a police station if they can prove their identity.

CANCER deaths for sufferers aged between 50 and 59 have dropped 40 per cent from 310 for every 100,000 people in 1971 to 185 two years ago, according to Cancer Research UK.

Tip-off calls CALLS to a new Government database are being received at a rate of one every six minutes – the equivalent of 100,000 allegations every year – with tip-offs from the public about illegal immigrants at large in the UK.

Diners fined A CHINESE buffet restaurant in South Shields, in the North East of England, fines diners £20 (€24.97) for leaving food on their plates in a bid to put a halt to food wastage.

Back in action THE No 925 Cheltenham chugs back on to the rails as the country’s rarest steam train returns to service 50 years after it was retired. It underwent an extensive 18-month restoration project.


24 - 30 May 2012




‘Crime’ on the rise at train station CRIME at Palma de Mallorca’s Intermodal train stations has reportedly increased since the numbers of security guards were cut a few months ago by the Mallorca Train Service SFM.

Job scam warning POLICE in Granada have been alerted of a new scam targeting people who are unemployed. The scam consists of job offers for which no experience or qualifications are needed, but in order to get the position, an interview over the phone is required. Calls are diverted to a special rate number and callers are charged up to â‚Ź1.87 per minute. They are then kept on the phone for as long as possible and in the end, there is no job offer. The National Police have also alerted people of suspicious job offers received online.

The two remaining guards have been left dealing with increasing numbers of pickpockets and thefts, the union CCOO has criticized. The bathrooms in particular

have become a ‘dangerous’ area with ‘violent individuals, delinquents, drug users, alcoholics and exhibitionists, who on some occasions have revealed themselves to

minors.’ Another problem is the increasing number of people who are now able to use the train without paying for a ticket. At times, these people have “become

violent� when asked to show their ticket. The union is concerned that the situation will only get worse with the influx of tourists in the summer.


Virus alert

Bar brawl A SCOTTISH tourist, 26, died during a fight in the early hours of Monday in Lloret de Mar, Girona. His body was found in the street and so far no-one has been arrested. Craig Mallon was celebrating his brother’s stag party and became involved in a fight between members of the stag party and another group of tourists. No weapons were used in the fight and he later collapsed from a heart attack and died.

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NATIONAL POLICE have alerted of a computer virus in the form of an email pretending to be from the police and General Society of Authors and Editors (SGAE). It blocks computers and requests payment of a â‚Ź50 fine for illegally downloading music and lists legal action. The police have said that they never demand payment of fines via the internet.



24 - 30 May 2012 Mallorca

Balearics tourist arrivals see slight drop in April By Nicole Hallett and John Jackson

IN April, 3.4 per cent fewer international tourists came to the

Balearics. This was caused by a fall in the number of British

FIRST IN PORT: Spanish team captain Guillermo Altadill.

Spain beats Russia in yacht race TWO big class IMOCA 60 sail ships arrived in Port Adriano (Calvia) after the match race Russian-Spanish Challenge. The two crews of 11 Russian and Spanish yachtsmen took more time than expected due to the windy weather. Pakea, with Guillermo Atadill as its captain, arrived first with Marabaud captained by Evgeny

Neugodnikov three miles behind. The challenging clubs were Club de Regatas Port Adriano and Yacht Club St Petersburg. The event covered the 110 miles between the Marina Port Vell harbour in Barcelona and Port Adriano in Mallorca. The event is a precursor for bigger races including the America’s Cup and the Whitbread.

tourists, since the number of Germans increased, according to Frontur. In total, 595,381 tourists came to the Balearic Islands in April. The 1,094,317 tourists that came to the islands in the first four months of the year is 2.9 per cent less than the numbers for the same period in 2011. National picture But despite economic woes continuing to dominate global headlines, tourism numbers are up against last year in Spain as a whole. In total 4.5 million tourists came to Spain last month. Although this is 1.7 per cent lower than the same month of 2011, the 13.7 million which had visited in the four months to May 1 represented a 1.1 per cent annual increase. Of April’s 4.5 million, 3.6 million arrived by plane, and three million stayed in hotels. The majority of these were British, followed by French and German tourists.

Mystery surrounds policeman’s death By Linda Hall SPANISH policeman Antonio Cejudo Ballesteros was found dead on the outskirts of Sana’a, Yemen. He was reported missing on Thursday last week. Due to return to Spain for a holiday, he took a taxi in the capital, Sana’a, but did not arrive at the airport. Cejudo, aged 38, was a member of the security team attached to the Spanish embassy where he was posted two years ago. A Policia Nacional officer for six-and-a-half years, he was previously attached to the Riot Squad in Granada and later Madrid. Antonio Cejudo’s brother Javier expected to see him in Madrid last Friday, May 18, but waited in vain that night and the following morning. Unable to reach Antonio on his mobile, he contacted the Yemen embassy for news. He



Stories making headlines from Germany

The return of the mummy A BURGLAR who broke into a flat in Hagen, North RhineWestphalia, came across the mummified body of its owner, who had died five years ago. Nobody had noticed her disappearance.

Axe on board CHRIS KÜHN, head of the Green party in Baden-Württemberg state, was stopped by officers at Berlin’s Tegel airport carrying a onemetre-long imitation axe that he was bringing for a friend.

Trapped MP BAVARIAN state Interior Minister, Joachim Herrmann, got trapped in a digger’s cabin when the vehicle fell over during the ceremonial start of the construction of a road.

Hole in one A GOLFER was arrested for using the centre of Cologne as a driving range, after one of his wayward iron shots hit a taxi.

Umbrella jab A MAN died after months in a coma after being stabbed in the backside by a stranger wielding a poison umbrella which injected him with mercury, fatally poisoning him.

Antonio Cejudo. learnt that his brother had not been seen since Thursday and no-one could locate him. Initial reports that he was held hostage by Al Qaeda were ‘premature’ said Javier Cejudo on Monday. Kidnappings of foreigners, both by Islamist activists and tribal groups have increased in recent months, but Yemen intelligence sources also doubted that Cejudo was abducted as no group had so far claimed responsibility.

Bin athlete A BIN man, 47, who developed chronic knee pain from jumping out of rubbish collection trucks was told by a Darmstadt court his work-related injury was comparable to those suffered by top athletes.

Papal property A FLAT near Bonn, said to be in the same building in which Pope Benedict XVI lived, is up for rent but has so far not generated much interest from renters.


24 - 30 May 2012

Spanish go for cheaper weddings THE Spanish are spending an average of €13,190 on their wedding this year, 8.3 per cent less than last year. The Independent User and Consumer Federation reports that the expense for an average wedding with 100 guests ranges from €7,580 to €18,800. The average amount spent on getting married has fallen for the fifth year running, but the reception, honeymoon and acessories are the worst affected. The main expense is the reception, and depending on the restaurant, a meal can cost between €36 and €85 per head, plus music and drinks which amount to around €850. The average wedding reception cost comes to around €7,000. A wedding dress is no less than €500 plus shoes, accessories, make-up, hair and flowers, which bring the total up to around €1,500. The groom gets off lighter at an average of between €310 and €750. The rings, invitations and flowers cost up to €1,200, while an average photography and video service will cost in the region of €650. The honeymoon costs no less than €1,200.


30 youngsters arrested in Palma sit-in protest

By Nicole Hallett THIRTY youngsters allegedly entered the offices of Balearic Minister of Education and Culture, Rafael Bosch by force and stayed there for nearly an hour. Officers identified them one by one as they were removed from the premises. While Bosch reportedly said they were arrested, Balearic Chief of Police said that none of them was detained but simply identified. That same day, 2,000 people participated in a

protest in Plaza de S’Escorxador in Palma de Mallorca against spending cuts in the education sector. This was just one of many protests in which thousands of teachers and students from all 17 of Spain’s regions participated in a strike over cuts. Eighty per cent of the country’s teachers took part in Tuesday’s protests, according to union officials. The billions of euros in cuts to government spending translate into fewer teachers, more students

CUTS: British pensioners worried about their effect.

Healthcare reforms cause concern ACASA, the National Casework Service of Age Concern España, says it has seen an increase of calls due to the healthcare reforms recently announced by the Spanish Government. British pensioners in Spain are worried about how these reforms will affect them. Information can be found in English on the British Embassy’s UKinSpain website at help-for-britishnationals/living-in-

spain/pensionsbenefits/healthcare/health care-updates. No announcements have yet been made on how these reforms will be implemented nor when they will come into effect. ACASA said it will keep readers updated as soon as they know more. ACASA has two client bases: people over the age of 50, and those of any age who serve or used to serve in the British Armed Forces, and their families.

per class, fewer extracurricular activities and higher university tuition fees. Makeshift tombs were erected at some university campuses to symbolize what protesters claim will be the ‘death’ of the country’s education system. Many students dressed up, some as The Grim Reaper, as they chanted against the higher fees and spending cuts. Parents, even at the primary school level, kept their children at home in a

show of support for the strike, said Virginia Fernandez, a representative of the Madrid branch of the teachers union FETE. “Families are really getting involved,” she said. “There is major involvement in all of the education community.” The protests are set against the backdrop of drastic cuts in basic services including education and healthcare, as well as the labour reform bill, which makes it easier for employers to lay-off staff.



Free loos spark row SIX free public toilets are to be installed in Palma de Mallorca at a cost of more than €331,000. The Socialist parties PSOE and PSM-IV-ExM have criticised the cost they cost given current cuts to public services. The town hall says that the plans to install these toilets follow numerous requests from tourist associations. They will improve the image of the city and offer better services to residents and tourists.


24 - 30 May 2012 Mallorca

24 - 30 May 2012





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24 - 30 May 2012

Stories making headlines in Denmark, Norway and Sweden

Windy sex SWEDEN – One in three women say no to sex due to fear of farting during the act, according to a report by pharmacy chain Kronan and research company Novus.

No increase DENMARK – More than half of voters supported having the unemployment benefit qualification time remain at 26 weeks, rather than be increased to 52.

Farmers’ wage NORWAY – Farmers’ unions are accusing PM Jens Stoltenberg of lying about the increase in farmers’ income, when despite this they still earn NOK180,000 (€23,680) less a year, compared with comparable groups.

Happy event for ‘gay’ penguins INCA and Rayas, two male penguins at Faunia, a Madrid nature park, are soon to become parents. Staff noticed around six months ago that the pair had entered into a relationship. “They love each other as though they are male and female. They court the same way and they couple the same way,” explained one of their keepers. All that was missing, she said, was an egg to incubate. This wish was granted when another penguin considerately laid two eggs and one could be taken along for Inca and Rayas. “They were very surprised at first, really nervous and didn’t quite know what to



GOOD MATES: Two penguins at Faunia. do,” the keeper said. “But they soon got the idea.” They now take turns at incubating the egg

which is due to hatch in around two weeks’ time. “They protect it with their lives,” she said.

“Inca doesn’t move. It’s his first egg and he doesn’t intend to let it go. Even if we offer him the very best fish he stays where he is.” Same-sex couples are quite common amongst penguins. Two males from Harbin Zoo in China made headlines last year when they were caught trying to steal eggs from heterosexual couples. The problem was later solved when the keepers gave them their own chick to bring up. All male penguins share a highlydeveloped maternal instinct, according to experts, and help incubate eggs in the wild. Couples also mate for life.


Debt-collectors defend their reputation By Linda Hall WITHOUT Miguel de Cervantes’ brief career as a debt collector* Don Quijote would have been a different character. So believes Manuel Merino, head of the legal department at the Cobrador del Frac debt collecting agency. The agency claims Cervantes as an illustrious predecessor, Merino told ABC newspaper. He was also keen to clear up misconceptions regarding the agency. “Our methods have changed a lot since we first went into business. We are famous for the costume but as you can see, noone here dresses up,” he said. The agency’s advertisements feature a slightly sinister but elegant gentleman in top-hat and tails (‘frac’) in Spanish. Briefcase in hand, he is a figure debtors in this country and Portugal would rather not see. “I can understand people having preconceived ideas, but the reality is quite different. “Recovering a debt doesn’t involve breaking legs, or wearing a disguise to chase a businessman down the street,” he said.

Stat of week

Spanish tax authorities have demanded millions in backtaxes from online bookmakers already operating in Spain wanting to obtain eGaming licences when they are issued at the beginning of June.




Spain’s ‘brand’ tumbles SPAIN slipped from 12th to 16th position in the Reputation Institute’s rankings for 2012. The institute, one of the world’s largest management consultancies which operates in 30 countries, collated votes from other G8 countries for the rankings. Spain obtained negative marks for investment in investigation and development, outside production and ability to attract qualified foreign staff. Inclusion in the PIGS – Portugal, Ireland, Greece and Spain – is ‘enormously damaging’, said Fernando Prado, the Reputation Institute’s director in Spain. It should be remembered, he said, that Spain obtained pass marks for culture, its appeal as a tourist destination, its way of life and the warmth and friendliness of the Spanish people. The country’s current economic situation is bad, Prado admitted, but there is also a communication problem. “We do not know how to sell Spanish brands and assets,” Prado said.

& legal

There was ‘some distortion’ of the true situation, agreed Javier Noya, who belongs to Spain’s Real Instituto Elcano, a think-tank with special emphasis on Spain’s international relations. Spain’s economic situation is irremediably bad but although the country’s image abroad is ‘correct’ there is some exaggeration, Noya said. “Just as Spain’s virtues were overstated before, now we are attacked and the production model remains the same: construction-based.” Some attacks on Spain in the foreign media were self-interested, Noya claimed. Spain could not be compared with Greece because the country is in a far better position, he said, thanks to the government’s overall majority which provides stability and allows it to carry out radical reforms. “We cannot allow systematic attacks on Spain. But in 30 years we have not developed British or French-style diplomacy,” Noya pointed out.




24 - 30 May 2012

Rajoy gets Merkel on board SPAIN’S PM Mariano Rajoy met German Chancellor Angela Merkel on board a boat on the Chicago River. Rajoy outlined Spain’s economic policy and assured her “we will maintain our


usiness extra

An early tax return

A SPANISH child, just 18 months old, received a tax return from the Tax Office in which he was informed that he would receive €0.53 for a savings account which his parents opened for him when he was born.

Light fine ARRECIFE Town Hall (Lanzarote) is considering fining opposition councillor Pedro de Armas just €900 for abandoning his position for several months to go on holiday. He ran up bills of more than €1,000 on his work phone. Pedro de Armas.

British tourists run out of cash 5 days into holiday BRITISH holidaymakers abroad blow most of the £622 (€770) they have spent five months saving two days before they are due to fly home, a Teletext Holidays study shows. A third racks up a further £219 (€271) on the credit cards as they struggle to afford the final two days.

efforts to be a country in which the public administration services do not spend more than they collect and do not, therefore, continue increasing their debt ad infinitum.”



Tax questions need professional advice What are my tax allowances here?


I have not really given much thought to Spanish taxes until now. Can you answer one question? How much could a married man – selfemployed and sole breadwinner in the family – earn last year before being liable for Spanish income tax? R A (Costa del Sol)


With all due respect, far too many recent arrivals in Spain fail to consider that You and the they are just as liable for Law in Spain Spanish tax as Spanish By David Searl workers are. The selfemployed such as man and van or mobile English electrician often fall into this class. I urge any foreigner who earns money in Spain to consult a Spanish ‘asesor fiscal’, a tax consultant, to find out what steps he must take to become a legal taxpayer. He may be surprised that, if his income is modest, he pays very little tax. If he gets a copy of ‘You and the Law in Spain’, this will help him to ask his tax consultant the right questions. To answer your questions, anybody who earns money in Spain is liable for Spanish income tax. Let’s list a few basics. The maximum that a person can earn without being liable to make a tax declaration is only €1,000. Being liable for tax and having to pay tax are two different things. A worker who declares an income around €10,000 will have nothing to pay because he has a wage earner’s allowance over €4,000 and a basic personal minimum deduction over €5,000, total of €9,000, meaning no tax payable. You have heard that €22,000 is the bottom figure for Spanish tax. This number applies only to employees who already have income tax and Social Security withheld from their salaries. A self-employed person, ‘autonomo’, is required to make a tax declaration every quarter, whether he has income or not. He also pays over €250 a month for Spanish Social Security. David will respond to queries but reserves the right to select letters which will be of interest to the greatest number of readers. You can also consult David through lawyers Ubeda-Retana and Associates in Fuengirola. or call 952 667 090.


24 - 30 May 2012 Mallorca

NewBuy scheme a non-starter TWO months after the launch of the government’s scheme ‘NewBuy’, in which builders guarantee 95 per cent loan-tovalue mortgages, the country’s top builders say they have sold less than one home each, a poll shows.

£££ THE FTSE 100 security group G4S says it is interviewing 84,000 candidates for 10,000 temporary jobs to provide security at the Olympic Park in London during the Games.


ritish usiness riefs

£££ CLINTON CARDS announced the closure of 350 stores - 3,000 job losses - after it was unable to pay loans of £35 million (€43,552m).



VAUXHALL and its UK factory in Cheshire have been rescued by a ‘round the clock’ flexibility deal that will save 2,100 jobs at the plant and lead to 700 extra jobs and a third shift to ensure 24-hour a day running.

TWO million people are ‘underemployed’, having to accept temporary or part-time work because they cannot find a permanent job, Chartered Institute of Personnel and Development figures show.

From ‘rural Spanish idyll’ to ghost town T

HE most deeply indebted in Spain, requires, at its present level of municipal income, more than 7,000 years to struggle clear, according to the Secretary of the Ministry of Public Administration. The mayor of Pioz (population 3,800) a village promoted as a ‘rural Spanish idyll’, in Guadalajara Province, said her town was probably the culprit. The ex mayor of Pioz was fast to rubbish the claims, saying the debts of the town stand at about €6 million and not €16 million, accusing the lady mayor of seeking five minutes of fame. Nevertheless, be it 7,000 or 2,500 years to pay its debts, this small community could perhaps be held up as an example, a microcosm of the overspending that has led many municipalities, regions, and even Spain itself, into almost unmanageable debt. During the ‘boom’ years Spain suffered a rash of frantic building, financed by banks only too willing to extend credit to developers who, in their turn, stampeded to cover any spare tract of land with apartment blocks, urbanisations and houses. Now, of course, many stand unsold or at best, under-occupied. Along the coastal

COMMON SIGHT: Skeletal, unfinished blocks.

Jim Collins Costa Blanca

regions some promoters, those still solvent enough to wait for the politicians’ promise of economic recovery to become reality, have taken to letting their surplus stock as holiday apartments, leaving not just Pioz but much of the over-built south, a series of out-ofseason ghost towns. If Pioz seems to be suffering more than most, perhaps it was that, at the height of the ‘boom’, standing as it did in the middle of a sunlit plain, and with views of distant snow-capped mountains, the site appeared a developer’s dream. The town hall was enthusiastic, the banks even more so, and

probably even the townsfolk raised no objections, seeing business opportunities and a future for their children. But then the bubble burst, leaving the town saddled with hundreds of unsold houses, the wiring and fittings ripped out by gangs of thieves. A municipal swimming pool lies stagnant because there is no money for maintenance, whilst other projects are incomplete and crumbling. “It’s a never-ending and heartbreaking struggle just to generate enough municipal income for essential services, even reduced as they are,” explains the mayor despairingly. “And worst of all is that, strive as we might, we can see no light at the end of this particular tunnel.” What is so sad,

however, is that the banks, developers, and municipalities were given fair warning 20 years ago when, owing to a minirecession in Northern Europe, the original building boom screeched to a sudden halt. One of the largest property companies on the Costa Blanca managed to make just one sale in 12 months, but then, when the good times rolled again, the banks handed out loans, the developers grabbed the money and the construction industry hummed, until the second over-inflated bubble burst. Now, with the property market - indeed the whole economy - in the doldrums, the developers have defaulted, leaving the banks with countless properties they have no hope of selling, and a debt balance of €185 billion.

24 - 30 May 2012



Mallorca THE top rate of income tax in the UK may be dropping from 50% to 45% next year, but lower rate taxpayers are not so lucky. Almost a million people have been pushed into higher tax bands than previously, with over four million now caught in the higher rate tax trap. HM Revenue & Customs (HMRC) data reveals that 3.8 million people are now paying tax at 40%, while 307,000 are paying the top rate of 50%. This means that 4.1 million are now paying the higher rates, an increase from 3.8 million last year. 917,000 people are paying a higher tax rate than they were three years ago. This represents an increase of around a third. The government has consistently reduced the threshold for paying the 40% tax rate, snaring more people into this tax band. Fiscal drag - where tax bands do not increase in line with inflation – has also contributed. It will not stop here. The Treasury calculates there will be 630,000 more higher taxpayers next tax year, when the threshold for the 40% rate drops yet again. In 2010 the threshold was £43,875. It has already been cut to £42,475 and from April 2013 will be reduced to £41,450. In this case, the number of 40% taxpayers will have increased by almost 48% between the 2009-10 tax year


More And More People Pay Higher Tax Rates In UK by Bill Blevins, t, Financial Corresponden s nk Blevins Fra

and the 2014-15 one. Mike Warburton, tax specialist at Grant Thornton, said the number of people paying higher taxes was an “inevitable consequence” of the government’s tax policy. “Higher-rate tax used to be paid only by the genuinely wealthy,” he said. “It is now a rate paid by middle managers, teachers and middle-ranking NHS executives, none of whom would consider themselves to be wealthy by any means.” After this year’s budget the Institute for Fiscal Studies (IFS) also said the higher rate tax trap is now hitting people with “relatively modest” salaries. It calculated that the budget will trap another 1.3 million taxpayers into paying 40% over two years, so that the number of higher-rate taxpayers will hit 5 million for the first time in 2014.

When the coalition party took office there were 3.1 million higher taxpayers; by March 2012 there were 3.7 million. According to the IFS, in 1978 just 3% of taxpayers paid the higher rate of income tax. The number rose over the next 10 years, but only slightly to 5%. Today 12.5% pay tax at 40% and next year it will jump again to 15%. IFS director, Paul Johnson, said the rapid rise was “part of a long-term trend towards the encroachment of 40% income tax on a whole new type of worker.” The controversial 50% tax rate was introduced by the previous Labour government in its 2009 austerity budget. It began being applied in April 2010 on income over £150,000. It was meant to be a temporary measure. In this year’s budget the Chancellor announced that it will be reduced to 45% from April 2013, but gave no hint as to when the 45% rate will be abolished, if indeed at all. However, in an interview he gave with the Daily Telegraph on 6th April, he said that he is “very happy with the 45p rate of tax. We’ve got it to a good

place where it’s competitive”. Business leaders disagree, describing it as “uncompetitive” and “damaging to growth”, but it looks like it may be around for some time. The total number of taxpayers in the UK will actually drop this year, from 30.1 million to 29.7 million. This is because the personal allowance has increased for lower rate taxpayers, so more people are taken out of the tax net. The government cannot afford to lose any tax revenue, so it is not surprising that it now has more people paying tax at 40% to compensate. Taxes have been rising over much of Europe as part of austerity measures, whether through direct tax hikes or indirectly, for example by freezing thresholds and allowances. Some countries are targeting higher earners; in other countries everyone is paying more tax. In Spain for example tax rates have increased across the board, both for general income and savings tax. We cannot do anything on some taxes like employment income and VAT, but you may

be able to lower your liabilities on your savings, investments, capital and pensions. Although most people grumble about tax, surprisingly few take action to make sure they are paying the least amount possible. For example, in the UK’s latest annual Tax Action Report found that 85% of people fail to act on reducing their tax bill, with the result that £12.6 billion will be “gifted” to the taxman this year. For advice on tax planning in both the UK and here in Spain, contact an international tax advisory firm like Blevins Franks. The tax rates, scope and relief may change. Any statements concerning taxation are based upon our understanding of current taxation laws and practices which are subject to change. Tax information has been summarised; an individual must take personalised advice.

To keep in touch with the latest developments in the offshore world, check out the latest news on our website




24 - 30 May 2012 Mallorca

LONDON - FTSE 100 C H A N G E ( P ) % C H G. -2.30 -0.95

NET VOLUME 2,529,530



C O M PA N Y PRICE(P) Aberdeen Asset Manag. 238.80 Admiral Group














Anglo American










ARM Holdings





Ashmore Group






Assoc. British Foods





British Land Co




1.23779 Units per €

United States $..................................................... 1.27737 Japan Yen ¥.......................................................... 101.337 Switzerland Francs............................................... 1.20107 Denmark Kroner ................................................... 7.43460 Norway Kroner...................................................... 7.60722 PRICE(P)

C H A N G E ( P ) % C H G.


C O M PA N Y Compass Group

PRICE(P) CHANGE 625.50 9.50



Croda International





1,663,839 1,372,594 968,944













1,422,220 3,184,489




British Sky Broadcasting










BT Group
















Glencore International Hammerson


Hargreaves Lansdown






BHP Billiton



















BP B. American Tobacco

Burberry Group





























Capital Shopping Centres 313.10




HSBC Holdings















891,136 803,913

Imperial Tobacco Group 2,424.51












AA Alcoa Inc





AXP American Express Co





T AT&T Inc







BAC Bank of America Corp

-0.14% 66,296,525

BA Boeing Co





CAT Caterpillar Inc





CVX Chevron Corp





CSCO Cisco Systems Inc



+0.36% 10,027,999

DD E. I. du Pont de Nemours and Co





XOM Exxon Mobil Corp





GE General Electric Co



+1.21% 11,166,370

HPQ Hewlett-Packard Co





HD Home Depot Inc





INTC Intel Corp



IBM International Business Machines.. 197.07




JNJ Johnson & Johnson





JPM JPMorgan Chase and Co



KFT Kraft Foods Inc





MCD McDonald's Corp




1,306,718 2,415,274

-0.86% 15,384,314

-0.87% 36,488,435

MRK Merck & Co Inc




MSFT Microsoft Corp



+0.60% 13,195,739

PFE Pfizer Inc





PG Procter & Gamble Co





KO The Coca-Cola Co





TRV Travelers Companies Inc





UTX United Technologies Corp





VZ Verizon Communications Inc





WMT Wal-Mart Stores Inc





DIS Walt Disney Co














15.50 7.70
















BG Group

VOLUME 1,838,716

Eurasian Natural Res.

Aviva Barclays

% C H G. 1.54


InterContinental Intl Cons Airlines Group International Power PRICE


$6.20 $17.12 $4.49 $7.20 $4.36 $25.90 $4.71 $3.13 $8.80 $3.13 $6.00 $22.09 $19.96 $4.04

0.88 / +16.54% 2.11 / +14.06% 0.51 / +12.81% 0.70 / +10.77% 0.37 / +9.27% 2.17 / +9.19% 0.38 / +8.78% 0.25 / +8.68% 0.68 / +8.37% 0.24 / +8.30% 0.45 / +8.11% 1.62 / +7.91% 1.44 / +7.78% 0.29 / +7.73%

Most Advanced Ultra Clean Holdings, Inc. Sagent Pharmaceuticals, Inc. Union Drilling, Inc. Achillion Pharmaceuticals, Inc. Clearfield, Inc. Westport Innovations Inc ChinaCache International Holdings Ltd. K-Swiss Inc. Duckwall-Alco Stores, Inc. QuickLogic Corporation Osiris Therapeutics, Inc. Focus Media Holding Limited Mid-Con Energy Partners, LP Globus Maritime Limited

Most Declined First Financial Service Corporation Mattersight Corporation Facebook, Inc. Educational Development Corporation LaCrosse Footwear, Inc. Bassett Furniture Industries, Incorporated IntriCon Corporation Partner Communications Company Ltd. Audience, Inc. LCA-Vision Inc. ProShares UltraPro Short QQQ MediciNova, Inc. EXFO Inc Yadkin Valley Financial Corporation

$3.25 $6.68 $33.71 $4.25 $11.50 $8.81 $6.50 $5.08 $17.41 $5.10 $54.58 $2.92 $6.05 $2.87

0.62 / -16.22% 1.02 / -13.18% 4.52 / -11.82% 0.34 / -7.60% 0.94 / -7.56% 0.68 / -7.17% 0.50 / -7.14% 0.36 / -6.62% 1.13 / -6.09% 0.33 / -6.08% 2.85 / -4.96% 0.15 / -4.89% 0.28 / -4.42% 0.11 / -4.01%

Intertek Group ITV Johnson Matthey










3,975,857 6,886,955


























Land Securities Group





Legal & General Group





Lloyds Banking Group



2.12 131,180,771

Man Group




Marks & Spencer










Morrison (Wm)





National Grid









Next Old Mutual
















Polymetal International










Randgold Resources





Reckitt Benckiser





Reed Elsevier










































2,584,535 3,139,429

Rio Tinto Rolls-Royce Holdings Royal Bank of Scotland Royal Dutch Shell RSA Insurance Group SABMiller Sage Group Sainsbury (J)












Severn Trent










Schroders Serco Group

Smith & Nephew





Smiths Group










Standard Chartered





Standard Life





Tate & Lyle










Tullow Oil






















Weir Group

























United Utilities Group Vedanta Resources Vodafone Group


24 - 30 May 2012



Mallorca Advertising Feature

Should I have a Spanish will?

Q. I have read with interest an article about inheritance tax and restrictions on access to bank accounts in Spain following the death of a partner, which was passed to me by my accountant. I have a partner and two dependants who may suffer as a result of the above. I am concerned regarding what happens when I die. I have been advised that it is best to have a Spanish will. Is this correct? Also what will happen to my bank account in Spain? You also mention that IHT rules in Spain are changing and are different from region to region. A. As you do not specify I have assumed that you are tax resident in the UK and, as such, it makes no difference in which region your property lies. All non-residents of Spain are taxed identically from Madrid. Furthermore, the important fact is where the beneficiaries are tax resident not the owners. To address your points, the inheritance tax in Spain is calculated according to three main criteria: • The size of the legacy received by the beneficiary • The relationship between the

By Philip Ogden Senior Spanish Tax Consultant Contact us: Telephone UK Head office : +44 (0)1260 299 700 or Spain Head office on 0034 965 830 991 or visit our website

beneficiary and the deceased • The pre-existing wealth of the beneficiary in Spain. The existence of a Spanish will offers no protection against Spanish Inheritance Tax (ISD). It merely serves to lock your beneficiaries into Spanish probate and taxation. In addition, the Spanish will has been notarised and made the subject of public information and permanent record in Madrid. A bank account in Spain becomes an immovable asset and frozen upon the


death of any account holder and becomes subject to probate and taxation in Spain before it can be accessed by a beneficiary; this includes joint bank accounts. From your question it would appear that you are not married to your co-owner and therefore the survivor would inherit with no tax-free allowance and suffer double the normal rate of taxation. A similar fate would apply to the two dependants if they inherit from someone who is not their biological or adoptive parent.

Q. I currently own property in Spain jointly with a partner; the property is on a mortgage. My partner recently passed away and there is no will, UK or otherwise. I have not notified anyone in Spain about his death as yet, as I have heard stories about bank accounts being frozen. My partner and I were both born in the UK and lived latterly in Spain. Any advice gratefully received. A. I am sorry to hear of your sad loss and regrettably I have bad news for you. You should probate and pay inheritance

tax in Spain on your partner’s half of the property and as you were not married to one another you will unfortunately receive no tax-free allowance from the legacy and pay double the normal rate of tax. Your partner’s estate should be the subject of UK probate as this is his domicile of origin and the laws regarding intestacy in the UK will favour you better than the Spanish equivalent. I would suggest, however, that in either jurisdiction his estate may be contested by others e.g. prior partners, children of prior relationships or relatives of the deceased. Correctly speaking, any bank accounts that your partner was named on should be frozen and that wealth should be probated and taxed in Spain. You have six months from the death to conclude the process before fines and potential embargoes accrue and come into force. There is some good news, however; you will only inherit your partner’s share of the property net of his half of the mortgage and therefore with expert guidance the tax could be kept to an absolute minimum. If you would like to understand your tax implications in Spain and receive our free Spanish Inheritance Tax illustration please contact one of our experienced and trained consultants using the details in the box to the right of the photograph.

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* T.A.E. (Tasa Anual Equivalente corresponds to Annual Interest Rate. Effective Interest Rate 2.9596% for the first three months, on balances up to a maximum of €500,000, with all amounts above said limit accruing no interest. From the fourth month remuneration will be based on tired rates depending on the balance you hold. As of today these rates are from 0% to 1,50% T.A.E. (1.4898% Effective Interest Rate). The applicable rates for each tier are available on www. Interest paid monthly.

Making your day-to-day banking easy and providing a helping hand with life’s other practicalities. Enjoy your Premier Account for free if you keep a minimum average monthly balance of €2,500** and get unlimited Spanish direct debit payments, a debit card and chequebook, and global travel insurance for you and your family all free of charge. Visit your local branch at: C/Gran Vía Puig de Castellet, 1, 07180 Santa Ponca (near to Eroski) or Paseo de Mallorca, 4, 07012 Palma de Mallorca.

902 024 365 or +34 91 484 81 81 **A €20 monthly fee will apply if the average monthly balance is below €2,500. Lloyds Bank International, S.A.U., with registered offices at Serrano 90, 5ª planta, 28006, Madrid, Spain, Trade Registry of Madrid, T. 6799, Book 0, Folio. 108, Sec. 8, Page M-110714, 1st Entry, N.I.F. (Tax Identification Number) A-80481765.




24 - 30 May 2012 Mallorca

No one big enough to reverse the downward spiral Spain is facing THERE are two reasons why I am certain Spain will leave the euro. Or, which amounts to the same thing, that Germany will leave the euro instead of Spain. I specify Spain because it is the country in which I was born and grew up, and so it is also the country I know best. However, I really mean all the peripheral European countries that, like Spain, are uncompetitive, have high debt levels, and suffer from low savings rates that had been forced down in the past decade to dangerous levels. Spain had a stronger fiscal position and healthier bank balance sheets than many of its peers when the crisis began, so any argument that applies to Spain is likely to apply more forcefully to its peers. The first of which has to do with the logic of Spain’s balance of payments position and the second with the internal dynamics that drive the process of financial crisis. To address the second, I think Spain will leave the euro because it seems to me that the country has already started on the selfreinforcing downward spiral that leads to a crisis, and there is no one big enough to reverse the spiral. How does this process work? It turns out that it is pretty straightforward, and occurs during every one of the sovereign financial crises we have seen in modern history. When a sufficient level of doubt arises about sovereign credibility, all the major economic stakeholders in that country begin to change their behaviour in ways that exacerbate the problem of credibility. Of course, as credibility is eroded, this further exacerbates the behaviour of these stakeholders. In that case bankruptcy comes, as Hemingway is reported to have said, at first slowly, and then all of a sudden, as the country moves slowly at first and then rapidly towards a breakdown in its debt capacity. What is key to understanding the process is to see that stakeholders will behave for perfectly rational reasons in ways that

Michael Pettis Finance Professor at Peking University and a senior associate at Carnegie Endowment.

politicians and moralists will decry as wholly irrational. Rather however than respond to appeals that they stop behaving irrationally, stakeholders will continue making conditions worse by their behaviour as they respond to the distorted incentives created by the erosion of sovereign credibility. To do otherwise would almost surely expose them to disaster. To summarize what the self-destructive and automatic behaviour of the stakeholders is likely to be, it is worth identifying some of the major stakeholders and to suggest how they typically react to a rise in the sovereign’s default risk: Private creditors As Spain’s credibility deteriorates, private creditors will demand higher yields on their

euro is announced, depositors respond rationally by taking money out of the banking system. Banks are then forced to contract lending, to increase balance sheet liquidity, and to reduce risk, all of which act as a drag on economic growth. Workers Rising unemployment and the prospects for an unequal Spain will leave the euro sharing of the because the country has burden of adjustment cause unions already started on the to be increasingly self-reinforcing militant and to downward spiral. engage more often in industrial action, which, by raising uncertainty and costs for businesses, force them to cut output and employment. Small and medium businesses One of the sectors most likely to be penalised in a debt crisis is the small and medium enterprise sector. Owners of small and medium businesses know that they are vulnerable during a crisis to an expropriation of their wealth through taxes, price and wage controls, and other forms of indirect expropriation. They try to loans to Spain even as they change the forestall this by disinvesting, cutting back form of their lending to reduce their own on expenses, and taking money out of the risk; for example, by shortening maturities. country. This has a double impact on making Political leaders conditions worse. First, higher interest As time horizons shorten and politics rates mean that debt rises more quickly becomes increasingly radicalized, policythan it otherwise would. Second, shorter makers shift their behaviour in ways that maturities and other changes in the loan reduce credibility further, increase business structure mean greater balance sheet uncertainty, and raise national fragility and a rising probability of default. antagonisms. Official lenders It is important to recognise the almost As they are forced into providing liquidity wholly mechanical nature of credit facilities, official creditors typically demand deterioration once a country is caught in and receive seniority. This of course this kind of spiral. Deteriorating creditincreases the riskiness for other lenders worthiness forces stakeholders to adjust. and creditors by pushing risk downwards, Their adjustment causes debt to rise and so worsens balance sheet fragility and and/or growth to slow, thus eroding increases private sector reluctance to lend. creditworthiness further. Depositors The combination of these and other As the probability rises that Spain will actions by stakeholders, in other words, leave the euro, and bank deposits will be can’t help but reduce GDP growth, increase frozen and redenominated in the weaker debt, and increase the fragility of the currency before any abandonment of the balance sheet, all of which undermines credibility further, so reinforcing the suboptimal behaviour of stakeholders. All of the exhortations by politicians, the church, public intellectuals, dragged around more bricklaying other half for bankers, etc, that stakeshops looking for the his advice! holders put personal selfSecondly, is your skin perfect fit. interest aside and act in the Meanwhile, a fifth bulging in folds under the best interests of the nation admitted they were afraid material? Then, YES, it will be useless. a negative comment would doesn’t fit, so don’t buy it! Slowing this behaviour is be used against them later. And finally, don’t drag not enough. It must be While the survey rings your poor other half reversed. bells within many relation- around the shops unless But how? No one is big ships, I say: “Women, you he wants to go. A girlenough credibly to friend is more likely to give are the worse fools.” guarantee the creditFirstly, all grown women honest advice than a man. worthiness of all the should know themselves Or better yet, stay away afflicted countries, and whether an outfit suits or from the shops and you without a credible not. Unless your fella is won’t be tempted to splash guarantee the downward Jean Paul Gaultier, stop cash on any more ill-fitting spiral will occur until it is wasting money asking your clothes! clearly unstoppable.

Big fat lies costing women a fortune THE ‘does my bum look big in this?’ question is costing British women £2 billion a year. When women and men shop together and women ask their other half whether an item of clothing suits them, seven out of 10 men will say it does, despite the women looking hideous in the garment, a new study has revealed. This dressing-room fib is costing women a fortune, as it encourages them to

Loose change A look at finance for females Jane Plunkett

snap up the unsightly item, only to leave it sitting unworn in the wardrobe. The men surveyed gave

various reasons for lying about whether clothes looked good or not. Most admitted they didn’t want to hurt their partner’s feelings, while others said it was a tricky situation the girls were putting them in - outside a busy changing area asking ‘whether bums look big’ with shop assistants looking on and other customers passing by. A quarter of men surveyed said they lie so they don’t have to be

24 - 30 May 2012


EWN 17 Mallorca




24 - 30 May 2012 Mallorca


24 - 30 May 2012








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Scout’s honour! Best day in Callum’s life As the only Scout from Spain, attending Buckingham Palace recently to receive an award from Britain’s Queen Elizabeth proved ‘the best day of my life’ for Callum Lippe. Nicole Hallett reports. When did you start your Scouting experience? I joined the Beavers aged six and have been in the Scout movement ever since. I got my dad involved as he was asked to help with a BBQ and subsequently became a Scout group leader. How was your visit to London to receive the Queen’s Scout Award? Amazing. The best day of my life. As it rained, the Queen was unable to inspect the ranks and speak to individuals but she looked so proud of us all, with the Duke of Edinburgh at her side, as we marched past. The award is the pinnacle of any Scouting achievement. Who else attended? I was the only Scout from Spain as a

friend who also received the award was unable to attend. The main groups were from the UK plus parts of Europe including Malta and Sweden. As well as those receiving the Queen’s Award, others were presented with Scout Silver Acorns and merit awards. What does Scouting mean to you? Friendship, activities, commitment, excitement, adventure, loyalty and family. Advice to aspiring Scouts? Keep working and trying your best because it always pays off. Scouting offers the chance to gain skills, have fun and meet friends. What are your future plans? I hope to work in a Scout centre in England, and want to gain a National Vocational Qualification in activity leadership.

Weather outlook for next 7 days REST OF THE WEEK Alicante TODAY: SUNNY, Fri - 25 17 S Sat - 27 17 S Sun - 26 17 S

MAX 24C, MIN 17C Mon - 24 17 S Tues - 24 17 S Wed - 24 17 S




Almeria TODAY: CLEAR Fri - 22 16 S Sat - 21 16 S Sun - 22 16 C



MAX 23C, MIN 16C Mon - 22 16S Tues - 21 16 S Wed - 21 16 S




Barcelona TODAY: SUNNY Fri - 23 18 S Sat - 22 18 S Sun - 22 18 S

MAX 22C MIN 17C Mon - 22 18 Sh Tues - 22 18 S Wed - 22 18 S


Benidorm TODAY: SUNNY, Fri - 27 18 S Sat - 28 18 S Sun - 27 18 S

MAX 27C, MIN 17C Mon - 26 18 S Tues - 26 17 S Wed - 27 17 S


S Sun,


MAX 30C, MIN 14C Mon - 28 14 S Tues - 27 13 S Wed - 26 12 S


Malaga TODAY: SUNNY, Fri - 24 16 S Sat - 27 16 S Sun - 25 17 C



Madrid TODAY: SUNNY Fri - 31 15 S Sat - 28 14 S Sun - 31 14 S



MAX 25C, MIN 16C Mon - 24 17 S Tues - 24 16 S Wed - 26 16 S

Cl Clear,

TODAY: SUNNY, Fri - 25 15 S Sat - 25 16 S Sun - 26 16 S



MAX 25C, MIN 14C Mon - 24 16 S Tues - 26 16 S Wed - 27 16 S

C Cloud,

Sh Showers,

TODAY: SUNNY, Fri - 29 17 S Sat - 30 17 S Sun - 29 17 S

Sn Snow,

MAX 28C, MIN 16C Mon - 28 17 S Tues - 28 17 S Wed - 28 17 S

Th Thunder

Vital Statistics • Lives: Torreblanca • Nationality: Scottish • Born: In Spain • Age: 18 • Status: Single • Favourite place: Athens with its Greek mythology. • Loves: Family. • Dislikes: Recorder (flute)

EWN COMMENT Something to say MAY 15 came and went with growing indifference and dwindling support, however justified many of the 15-M movement’s complaints. Protest seldom provides a practical

solution for the problems that trigger it. At worst, it means a noisy distraction for the government and extra overtime for police.

All right for some AN assistant hospital manager in Barcelona who worked between 2002 and 2004 was paid €158,569.63 on leaving and continued to receive his salary of around €110,000 per annum for seven years. Who knows how many times similar situations have been repeated throughout Spain? The crisis, not initially of Spain’s making, would still cut deep but the situation would be less desperate had regional governments been less munificent.



Abandoning euro would bring chaos to Europe

Letters for Your Say should be emailed to yoursay@ euroweekly, posted to Euro Weekly News, C/Moscatel 10, P-62, Polígono Industrial, Arroyo de la Miel, 29630 Benalmadena, Málaga, Spain or faxed to 0034 952 440 887



MOST people would agree with Jim Collins (Issue 1400) when he says it might be better to abandon the euro. But does anybody have any concept of the chaos that would follow such a decision? It would precipitate with the mass exodus of private capital funds from the struggling economies of Southern Europe into safer havens like Germany. Why, for instance, would any person leave their cash in a Spanish bank and wait for its devaluation with the return of the peseta? Leaving the euro is unprecedented and thoughts of a financial meltdown have undoubtedly concentrated the great minds on the best ways of saving it. The alternative is too awful to contemplate. Ken Bethell, Puerto de Mazarron (Murcia)

Postbox poser APPARENTLY the post office has recently sent out letters to post office box owners stating that new rules will come into force at the end of this month. It says that up to five people can share a box which the box owner currently pays around €57 per year for and others sharing will pay €39. The question that nobody seems to know is that does a married couple class as one? Apparently every name has to go down on the post office records with their identity number by the end of May or their post will not go into the shared boxes. Ann from The Maidens Coffee Morning, Mojacar (Almeria)

Snapped! By Glen and Geoff Stone from Chirivel

P pub hotog r l em icati aphs pho ail w on sh for p o ton ews ith a f uld b ossibl e es @e ull e c uro wee aptio nt by n klyn ews to: .com

24 - 30 May 2012 Mallorca

Language curse I ENJOYED Susanne Manners' piece on language (Issue 1401). Language is organic and changes naturally. But what makes me cringe is not so much the natural changes, but the mutations and clichés. Some are imported, including: ‘lirrorally’, ‘baysically’, ‘branew’, ‘begs the question’, ‘innernet’, ‘kickstart’, ‘horrendus’, etc. The free English ‘tabloids’ here bear the curse as well, (aside from EWN). C Dowling, by email

Simply the best THIS recent photo shows the almond blossom with the snowcapped mountain of Maria in the background taken from our garden in Chirivel, Almeria. A truly beautiful, springtime vista.


All letters, whether by email or post, should carry the writer’s postal address, NIE and contact number though only the name and town will be publishe d. Letters may also be edited. Readers who have mi ssed earlier correspondence can see all letters posted on: m

Editor’s note: Each person using a postbox has to pay separately, even if it is the owner’s husband, wife or child. Prices can be seen at: comun/tarifas/05P0301bApartadoPostalTarifas.asp

She said that with a quarter of people out of work in Spain, those with jobs should be very thankful, regardless of long working hours, and other complaints employees sometimes have. A positive attitude will often bring success; I have never heard of a negative attitude doing so. K H, Calvia (Mallorca)

Lovely sculptures I JUST loved the photo that Tricia G sent in of the felled palm tree (Letters, Issue 1402) which had been sculpted into a chair; genius. This should be done all along the coast, offered to artists and carpenters and they can have their names displayed, which would serve as a permanent exhibition. Louise Harper, Mijas Costa (Malaga)

EVERY week I pick up the free papers to keep up with all the local news only to find that unless I want to have a facial, buy a house, have a hairdo, etc, I can hardly find any news amongst pages and pages of adverts. That was until I came across the EWN where I can finally find a well-designed newspaper actually doing what it should do by printing local news in a clear and interesting manner. My favourite page is the letters page where differing views can be aired and replied to. It’s the EWN for me every time. Keep up the good work and long may you reign! L M Levett, Alicante Province

Forgotten heroes

I AM a member of the 50+ Solos group, which has been involved with charities for the military since 2006. With all the parties I THINK Jane Plunkett taking place during summed the current job June’s Diamond Jubilee situation quite well (Issue celebrations, I thought it 1402). might be an idea for them to have a collecting box. Anyone who wishes could EWN received many responses from readers to Luke Mead’s letter (Issue 1401) saying ‘how ridiculous’ it put 50c into the box. was that a deaf man was fined for using the phone while driving. Here is a selection of those letters. This would be for the homeless exmore lenient sentence? he can send texts and use a mobile phone while military living rough Michael Hudson, face time using sign lan- driving’. in the UK, and there WHY should there be such Mijas Costa (Malaga) guage. are many. However, it did not clarian outrage over a deaf I do not understand how fy whether he was talking The charity is man being charged and a deaf person is able to on the phone or texting. ‘Soldiers off the fined and losing three drive and use a mobile Streets’ (charity If officers were saying points off his licence for phone without taking his he was talking on the number 1137594) using his mobile phone I HAVE a close family hands off the steering phone, well clearly that is assisted by Help for whilst driving? member who has been wheel. Homeless Heroes impossible. Are deaf people not sub- deaf since birth, has no who run soup Lesley Young, Cuidad However, texting is ject to the same driving speech and his only form kitchens and work Quesada (Alicante) another matter and would rules as other drivers? of communication is voluntarily through be even more dangerous What would be your re- through sign language. the night to rescue for a deaf man as he action if, for example, a As such, he cannot use a ex-military homeless would not be able to hear deaf person assaulted your mobile phone in the norat present in the warning sounds. wife or girlfriend? Would mal way. Barnsley area. THE report stated that Jasmine Forrest, you still be calling for a However, with the iPhone the fine was for ‘using Ruth Reid, Estepona (Malaga) Alicante Province

Work positively

No excuse

Sign language

Talk or text

The views expressed and opinions given in Letters are not necessarily those of the EWN publishers. They accept no responsibility for accuracy of information, errors, omissions or statements, and reject claims arising out of any action that a company or individual may take on the basis of information contained therein.


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EWN 21 Mallorca


This one is a real humdinger LEAPY LEE SAYS IT OTHERS THINK IT ‘Ow’d ya like some of them apples? It is of course an utter disgrace and more proof that these people have no intention of integrating into any part of the British culture whatsoever, except of course its welfare system; they don’t appear to have any objections integrating into that! The problem is how to combat a situation like this, which surely cannot be allowed to go unchecked. Frankly, I’ve racked my brains for a way out of this one and have come up with zilch. Any law passed would of course influence the

Anti-pollution solution A CHINESE farmer worried about pollution has come up with a solution, an electric car with a turbine on its nose which he says gives extra power so it only has to be recharged every three days.

SCAM: Multiwives are claiming unmarried mothers’ benefits. whole populace, not merely the ethnic minority members of society. You can’t have starving mums and babies all over the place and, although these hypocrites are baying for Sharia law, you can’t have one law for some and one law for others. If anyone can come up with a way out of this one, I’ll seriously consider them for a position in my cabinet when I run in the next election! People have been asking me why I have been uncharacteristically silent on the EU fiasco of late. The truth is I can’t think of any more to say, except I’ve been decrying

Missile scare

the whole naïve operation since its outset. You really can only say ‘I told you so’ a limited number of times. After that it all gets a bit boring, don’t you think? Finally, viewing the headline which stated that Britain’s Got Talent winner Ashley declared she now had a ‘10-million-dollar Pudsey,’ led me to consider that the young lady was fortunate not to have won the competition with her pet cat! (Come on, Ed, where’s ya sense of humour!?) Keep the faith, Love Leapy

A US Army Apache helicopter accidentally dropped an inactive missile over mid-Texas, forcing dozens of homes to be evacuated. No one was injured and the incident is now under investigation.


NOTHER outrageous scam cyber’d its way into my emails this week. Kindly sent in by Señor Fischer, it delivered news of yet another way in which certain factions of Britain’s immigrant population are ripping off their host country. And this one is a real humdinger. As a number of MiddleEastern Islamic states allow mass marriage, men living in Britain’s local Islamic communities are, with the blessing of their religious leaders, marrying up to five women apiece. Although all these ‘wives’ are recognised as normal among their peers, the fact that only one is actually legal in the UK means that benefits can only be paid to the current spouse. But here’s the rub. The other four, plus children, then enter the category of unmarried mothers. This entitles them to all the benefits women in this position are able to claim, and believe me they are considerable. Basically this means that through these extra ‘wives’, the ‘husband’ can be receiving incomes which are truly mind-boggling; some have been estimated as drawing up to £125,000 a year and the more children he sires, the more dosh he collects.

Bum deal A MAN who tried to smuggle heroin into the US concealed in his rectum was caught by officials - with the help of a drug-sniffer dog named Malone - as he walked across the border from Mexico.


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24 - 30 May 2012 Mallorca


F you happen to be in the Palma Nova area on either a Monday or a Thursday morning, around 9.30am then you may be treated to the sight of a group of women jogging. Most of them will be wearing neon pink, yellow, or even orange running vests (surprisingly this does actually offset the ketchupy colour that spreads rapidly across your face as the heart rates goes up and the breathing quickens). Or there is one larger lady wearing an ancient long sleeved baggy t-shirt which covers her bum. Yes, you’ve guessed it, that’s me. I have finally bitten the bullet and have started, gulp, running. It’s actually more of a speed whinge as I flap along at the back of

No pain, no gain so I’ve been told the group wishing it were all over. But no pain, no gain as I have been told. It began because I was joined to a group on Facebook called the Viva Roadrunners as they were running for Charley, and I needed information about them. One thing led to another and I started to read their cheery exchanges and got quite jealous of the camaraderie and out and out fun they

Family Matters Mallorca

Vicki Mcleod

seemed to be having. But they also seemed to be running quite a long way each time they went out, and there was just no chance that I would be able to keep up with them. So I asked their trainer Dave Bladon if he would do a ‘Fat Girls’ Beginner Class’, got some chicas together (turns out I’m the only fat bird, the others were just beginner runners) and off we went. Now I can’t honestly tell you that I look forward to either of my regular weekly running dates although the core of the group: V, me, Suzie, Holly, Sophie and Crookers and Caron (who are also in the big girls’

group) are fabulous and we have a lot of fun, it turns out that, guess what? Running is just as hard as it looks. I am by far the worst. However, I am now getting to enjoy the upside, as I am now fitting into my clothes again, and even garnered a few compliments last week from some people who hadn’t seen me in a couple of months. That sounds so shallow, I know, but these things are important and mean the trainers will get fished out of the bin again. It takes quite a special bloke to take a bunch of women out training and get them to do it effectively.

We’re very lucky to have our own ‘semi personal trainer’. So my virtual hat goes off to the very cheery and persistent Mr Dave Bladon from Viva Sports Gym in Palma Nova. He has a very special type of deafness which means he cannot hear moaning, or swearing, and is consistently encouraging and pushy just to the point where you want to kill him.

He hasn’t once said ‘you aren’t trying hard enough’ which would have meant his instant death and he has endless creativity with finding new exercises and routes. So if you want to join us then you are most welcome to: you can expect to lose weight, and get fit, we’ll see you at 9.30am. www.familymatters

‘Partnered by Politicians’ READER Mike Brackenridge out why they can’t swim. gets straight to the nub of If politicians could be taught why we suffer the to stop interfering long queues I with matters they mentioned. have no experience He reminds us in, or consult there was high businesses first, unemployment in the jobless total Spain when times could be radically reduced. were good. If every business He blames absurdly By Mike Walsh was obliged to high employees’ social put ‘Partnered by security payments and Politicians’ next to politically inspired their trading name draconian tax and we would all get labour laws. the message. Putting it simply; It is doubtful if politicians politicians put two bricks around the necks of businesses then fail to figure would.

Images of Spain

Justice not so swift for some PLEASE take a seat; you will need to on learning that a Murcia bar owner has been handed a €6,000 fine because one of his chairs collapsed under

the weight of a customer. It was ruled that such a seat should be constructed to take the weight of any person. If that is not farcical, consider, too,

the case took nearly eight years for a finding to be delivered. I imagine that particular bar owner won’t be inviting anyone to take a seat.

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EWN 23


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24 - 30 May 2012 Mallorca

Portals Nautical Weekend promises sailing spectacle

No fines

Image by

THERE are just a few days to go until the Portals Nautical Weekend takes place from Saturday May 26 until Monday 28. During the three-day event, exhibits will be open from 12pm-9pm. In addition to the various boats, chandlery, tenders and toys on display, there will also be a large display of classic cars on show for the petrol heads, provided by the Mallorca Driving Club. The organisers have confirmed the full programme of events and activities that will accompany the public display of 60 boats, featuring all of the major brands, both new and used, including sail and motor yachts from nine to 40 metres. These include leading yacht builds from Fairline, Oyster, Azimut, Beneteau, Bavaria, Riva, Princess, San Lorenzo and Sunseeker, among others. There will also be a good selection of preowned motor and sail boats from top local and international brokers including Sunbird, Baxter Marine, Marivent Yachts, Drettmann and Yacht Moments. This is the first time ever that such a large and varied display of yachts and nautical products combined with various lifestyle attractions has been staged in Mallorca, which is completely open to the public and with no entry fees.


BIRDS EYE: An aerial view of Puerto Portals. On Sunday at 9.45pm, just after sundown and darkness falls over Puerto Portals, up to 20 hand-picked yachts from the show will leave their moorings, cruise around the harbour and return in an organised procession. Music, lights and a professional commentary in English and Spanish will accompany the spectacle. The participating yachts will range from the Fjord Open 40, a modern, fast, elegant

day cruiser, a Princess 23 luxury motor cruiser available for charter, through to the Beneteau Sense 50, a completely innovative modern family sailing yacht which won the 2011 ‘Cruising World Boat of the Year Award’. It is possible to check-in and ‘like’ Portals Nautical Weekend on their Facebook page where you will find more information about the show: portalsnauticalweekend

AFTER media reports, police in the New Jersey town of Fort Lee ((US) had to explain they would not be issuing tickets to people walking along while using electronic devices like phones and music players.

Dog fees A RECENTLY separated New York man is so desperate to get his dog back from his exgirlfriend that he’s gone online to ask for $20,000 to pay the legal fees on top of the $30,000 he’s already blown.

Mystery gifts NEW ZEALAND police are mystified by a spate of gift packages sent from Paris to local residents. The parcels, contained notes saying ‘thanks for being a good/true friend’, but recipients have no idea who sent them.

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EWN 25


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26 EWN

24 - 30 May 2012 Mallorca

Welcome to Plant Ocean

Advertising Feature

WE believe the greatest appeal is perfectly green lawns all year round! Plant Ocean are a young, dynamic company who have firmly established themselves as the market leader when it comes to the design and installation of artificial grass areas throughout the Balearic islands. Artificial grass now offers a fully realistic and cost saving alternative to real grassand is child and pet friendly, not effected by swimming pool chemicals and is fully UV stable. Using state of the art LAZYLAWN® Artificial Lawn products the ‘turf’ looks and feels like natural grass but eliminates the high maintenance and even higher watering costs. In fact, in most instances it can take as little as two to three years to pay back the initial costs through water and maintenance savings. All our installations come with a 10 year guarantee and the uses for artificial grass are vast



including golf areas, bowling greens, tennis courts, swimming pool surrounds, roof terraces and childrens’ play areas. We have recently developed our ‘show-lawn’ area in Costa de la Calma, Mallorca, which demonstrates the various ‘lawn’ types available and also

a few ideas of how we can transform lifeless garden areas in to fully liveable spaces. Plant Ocean also specialise in professional golf areas including greens where their ‘Nylon Pro’ product acts in the same way a natural grass green would react on a championship course.

All of the Plant Ocean installation team are fully factory trained and will lay your artificial grass in a highly professional manor using the latest high tech machinery leaving it ready to use immediately. In most cases the lawn will be installed in one day, giving you the least

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Contact us for a free, no obligation consultation and see the huge benefits that a Plant Ocean artificial lawn can give you. Call (0034) 620 835 533 or email You can also view our range on

Hidden hand-luggage horrors can be a security nightmare T

WO in five holidaymakers think that the carry-on security regulations at airports are confusing, and the uncertainty is leading to some bizarre hand-luggage discoveries. Despite the 100ml law coming into force nearly six years ago, 36 per cent of Brits don’t know what NORA JOHNSON constitutes as a A writer, Nora has lived on the Costa del Sol for five years ‘liquid’ under and is the author of two psychological suspense thrillers. airport regulations (60 per cent believing baked beans are exempt), 28 per cent don’t think water counts as a ‘liquid’, SECURITY CHECK: ‘Oh, I forgot they were while 44 per cent admit to not even knowing about the 100ml rule! London Stansted Airport, said: “We’re All this according to a new survey constantly amazed by some of the commissioned by London Stansted bizarre items that people try to take Airport. through security, some of which simply This poll of 2,000 adult travellers can’t be mentioned!” also revealed confusion about The top 10 strangest items cosmetics, with 82 per cent believing confiscated there include crustaceans, lipstick doesn’t need to be placed in a snowglobes, dirty nappies and a pair clear plastic bag for security checks. of pink furry handcuffs. Someone even John Farrow, Head of Terminal at tried to get a sweet jar containing live

Breaking Views

in my bag.’ goldfish through the metal detectors. Perhaps the weirdest of all was the tub of human body fat someone tried to take with them on holiday. Around one in five holidaymakers have been stopped on more than one occasion and a quarter of those questioned admitted having an item confiscated prior to flying. The most common excuse was: “Oh, I forgot

they were in my bag!” Yes, I can see how easy it must be to overlook that air rifle, machete and slingshot. Not to mention all those drills and sanders. Despite these findings, stops at airport security are a real problem for UK airports because they cause delays and increase queues. All the more so with the increased traffic with the runup to the July Olympics. Security breaches, bomb scares, full body scanners, inconsistent airport regulations and immigration queues have all contributed to holidaymakers feeling increasingly frustrated and confused with air travel. So, while some may reach for a triple whisky in flight, maybe it’s hardly surprising that others seek the comfort blanket of their pet goldfish. Or those pink fluffy handcuffs … Ah, time for my medication. NURSE!!!

Nora Johnson’s novels, Soul Stealer & The De Clerambault Code ( available from Amazon in paperback/eBook (€0.89; £0.77) and iBookstore. Profits to Cudeca.


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EWN 27 Mallorca

I make a point of never being ill, it doesn’t happen to me IT would seem from the reaction by email and text that quite a few of you noticed the missing “Penn to Paper” column in last week’s EWN. This came as a pleasant surprise to me as I had long suspected that this page was lightly flipped over en route to the perusal of the charms of certain Russian ladies in the classifieds. Suitably chuffed but trying to stay humble, I thought it only polite to explain the absence of my musings seven days ago. I was ill. I had flu. Now people say that they have flu at the first signs of a sniffle, but I can assure you that

Penn to Paper with Mallorca radio presenter Laura Penn

without sneezing once I have been laid out for almost a week by a bovverbooted, tattooed, ugly, nasty, pitiless virus. Now I am never ill. I make a point of never being ill. I know some people quite enjoy being sick because it gets them sympathy and attention but I am the exact opposite. When I am ill I don’t want anyone to feel sorry for me and I want to be left totally FLU: When I am ill I don’t want anyone to feel sorry for me.

alone. There are two good reasons for this. The first is an immediate sense of humour malfunction and the second is a tolerance level drop from low to nonexistent. So if I don’t answer the phone it’s because I don’t want to talk to you, sorry, so stop calling! I will get back to you when normal GSOH and patience service has been resumed. Sweating and shivering are not spectator sports and if my bedroom looks like something Tracey Emin would be proud to exhibit it is nobody’s business but mine. Half a million people a year die of flu you know? Just thought I’d mention it. And the 1918 flu pandemic is estimated to have killed between 50 and 130 million people, considerably more than died in World War One (approximately 35 million). I mention all this jolly stuff because I am feeling a lot better now. It didn’t make me feel better when I read it during the great plague. A word of advice… if EVER you feel poorly NEVER look up your symptoms on the internet. You will be choosing the coffin lining and writing your own obituary before you know it. Another word if I may. When you are up and about again and feeling suitably

proud of surviving don’t bother trying to tell anyone about your mammoth and noble struggle. A simple explanation of your absence with “I’ve had flu” will not illicit a kindly word or a sympathetic pat on the shoulder, but a sort of oneupmanship on the illness stakes. The response will be something like “Lord I know what you mean, I had it last week. It was awful, I could feel my head exploding and my eyeballs about to explode.” Etc etc You will be subjected to a long and detailed description of every ailment from a septic toenail in 1992 to a nasty in-growing hair in the groin region in 2001. Best to keep schtum and if anyone should enquire as to where you have been for the past week, just look mysterious and lick your lips in a seductive manner. Stay healthy and tune in every morning to Spectrum FM, now louder than before – and don’t worry, normal service has been resumed and the bedroom has been cleaned up!

Laura Penn is the Station Manager and Breakfast Show Presenter of Spectrum FM Mallorca broadcasting on 88.6FM across the island. Contact

Mallorca’s first themedresort hotel to open 2012 KATMANDU PARK, a new generation theme park, has joined forces with Melia Hotels International. Melia is currently carrying out reformations on their Sol Magaluf Park hotel, which is adjacent to Mallorca’s first theme park; Katmandu Park. After its transformation into a Katmandu-themed hotel, it will be reopened in 2013 under the name Sol Katmandu Resort. The theming of the hotel includes plans for special effects on the three facades of the hotel exterior. Guests will be able to have unlimited access to all the park’s ticketed attractions during their stay until 6pm. Attractions include a specially designed minigolf, a haunted mansion, a 4D cinema, laser tag and an interactive experience called ‘the Mansion’. Starting in June of this

year, guests of all Sol Hotels located in the Palmanova and Magalluf areas will enjoy the special privileges of the ‘Sol FunPass’ for use in both Katmandu Park attractions and its sister attraction Golf Fantasia in Palmanova. Together the parks entertained more than 300,000 visitors in 2011,

according to the park’s figures. “We are excited that our exclusive partnership with Melia Hotels International will allow us to create Mallorca’s first resort concept experience for their hotel guests,” said Scott Demerau, Katmandu Park co-founder and head of productions.

“Our collaboration is an important step in Mallorca’s transformation to once again become the prime destination for tourists.” Gabriel Escarrer, Melia vice-Chairman and CEO said: “This new partnership adds new value to the whole complex of Calvia Beach Resort. Innovation, creativity and quality are a

NEW PARTNERSHIP: Gabriel Escarrer (left), Julia Demerau and Scott Demerau.

must if we want Magalluf and Mallorca to be a competitive destination.”




24 - 30 May 2012 Mallorca

Holiday fun in the sun; What’s your factor? MANY British holidaymakers are so desperate to get a suntan they ditch sun protection. Even those people who start the holiday by religiously applying lotions and potions stop using them by day four if they haven’t achieved a perfect bronzed complexion. The ‘terrible’ British weather is blamed for this by 68 per cent of those surveyed. Half of people travelling this summer will consider their holiday a complete and utter flop if they don’t walk away with a decent tan. “After weeks of enduring torrential downpours, it is easy to understand why British people crave a bit of sunshine,” said Mel Wilson, head of health at Superdrug, which commissioned the research to launch its ‘What’s Your Factor?’ sun safer campaign. “But these findings show that people are taking their tanning to the extreme by forgetting the importance of applying sun protection on every day of their annual break. “The idea that people

SLAP IT ON: A high sun tan lotion factor should be worn. would consider stopping all form of protection by day four of the holiday is ludicrous. “They are risking a multitude of problems from burning, to heat stroke, to early ageing, and even worse, skin cancer.” Five in 10 Brits burn on the very first day of their summer holiday abroad. The findings emerged in a study of 2,000 holidaymakers. Fourteen per cent of Brits do not use sun tan protection on the first day of their holiday and 25 per cent use a low factor. Only three per cent would use sun block factor 50 and over.

Thirteen per cent opt for baby oil over sun protection in a bid to get a bronzed body and 16 per cent sunbathe during the hottest part of the day. To avoid tan lines, 13 per cent go without sunglasses, a fifth avoid all shade, parasols and umbrellas and one in 10 try to get away with wearing the tiniest swimwear. Twenty-eight per cent frequently turn their body to get an even tan. A fifth of ladies tie their hair up when sunbathing, and the same percentage of people try lying on a lilo in the middle of the pool or sea because they think it improves their

Long-life coffee TOO much coffee used to be considered a bad thing. Now researchers say drinking coffee could extend one’s life. They found a link between the more coffee one drinks, the less likely one is to die from a number of different ailments. These include heart disease, respiratory disease, stroke, injuries, accidents, diabetes and infections, but not cancer, say researchers at the National Cancer Institute, National Institutes of Health, Maryland.

“This important research adds to the overwhelming weight of evidence which demonstrates that moderate coffee consumption of 4-5 cups of coffee per day is safe and may be associated with certain health benefits,” said Dr Euan Paul, executive director of the British Coffee Association. The study, which looked at the diet and health of 400,000 people aged 50-71 between 1998 and 2008, was published in The New England Journal of Medicine.

chances of attracting the sun. Of the parents who completed the survey, a third admit they often forget to apply their own sun protection in favour of their children’s. Twenty-seven per cent of parents often return home from holiday burnt, while their children have retained their lily white complexion. “This summer we’re launching the ‘What’s Your Factor’ campaign designed to show customers the SPF they should be using, how they should apply sun lotion and how much they should use,” said Wilson. The What’s Your Factor campaign will launch its SAFER sun lotion message to ensure everyone is using sun protection in the right way: • Slap on liberally • Apply it regularly • Face your factor • Extra care for sensitive bits • Reapply after swimming


24 - 30 May 2012




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For solutions:

Time Out

IN the midst of the most terrible war in the history of mankind, WWI, with England stalemated and thwarted wherever it turns, someone of immense power and prestige turns to Sherlock Holmes to do something he believes no one else in the world can do. Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson are sent into war-torn Bolshevik Russia to rescue the

GEMINI (May 22 - June 21) There are so many things to do or try that you should be spoiled for choice. No, don't settle down in front of the TV. Get out, make some friends and aim to learn something new every day. That may only be the name of your neighbour on the bus but it counts. You are charming and urbane, so don't keep it all to yourself.

CANCER (June 22 - July 23) When your feelings are so positive, which they should be now, it is hard to remember that they have ever been any other way. You may have a plan in mind for a new activity to get the adrenalin flowing. How much more enjoyable, though, to find someone to share this with you. Book that course and maybe you will meet them there.

LEO (July 24 - August 23) After a few recent excesses, bad habits can prove hard to shake off. Remember that any time of the year is a good time to make a fresh start. Don't put off looking after your health any more than you would put off stashing a cheque in the bank. Use it or lose it? You know it makes sense. Think about combining health with a holiday.

VIRGO (August 24 - September 23) It happens that energy is sometimes low. Take the chance to read up on why this could be.

Just joking A drunk guy took a cat home to his wife in Mallorca and said: “See… here is the monkey of the jungle.” His wife said laughing, “That’s a CAT …” He said back to his wife, “I am talking to the cat!”

IF ITʼS YOUR BIRTHDAY THIS WEEK: Having closed a chapter already this year, it now seems that another is set to close, too. There is a kind of momentum to all this, pushed on by Jupiter. You have control but only if you are flexible and expect nothing to be black and white.

deposed Romanov Family before they can be executed: the Tsar, Nicholas II; the Tsarina, Alexandra; the haemophiliac Tsarevich, Alexei; and the beautiful Grand Duchesses Olga, Marie, Tatiana and Anastasia. Increasingly unsure of who is

Y our S tars

friend and who is foe, Holmes and Watson must outwit the Bolshevik secret police, and even their own government. As events precipitously unfold, Holmes and Watson become entangled with former opponents; the King, George V; and even Lenin, as they attempt to complete their mission. Available from priced £8.35.


Born May 29, 1947, he is a Spanish TV and radio presenter but is best known for his work as a dubbing actor. He has dubbed the voices of Clint Eastwood, Anthony Hopkins, Roger Moore, Arnold Schwarzenegger, William Shatner, Sean Connery, and James Earl Jones as Darth Vader, amongst others, in the Spanish versions of several of their films. He has been very successful as a presenter and received several awards. He was the main commentator for the Barcelona Olympic Games in 1992.

comes to your health. Although you are feeling good now you will soon have problems because you are more concerned with others than yourself. This can be good but can also be overdone.

this week and spend much more time on yourself. There will be plenty of opportunities to look after others when you are feeling 100 per cent yourself. Stay in control of day-to-day plans. .

SAGITTARIUS (November 23 - December 21)

AQUARIUS (January 21 - February 19)

With so much going on, you are in danger of burning yourself to a frazzle. You won't realise until you have done it, so make a point of getting some peace and quiet, preferably both of them at the same time. Relax and don't even think about things that are unchangeable. Time will sort out most things for you.

Your tendency to see yourself through the eyes of others can lead you to undervalue your worth. This could see you going pear-shaped, emotionally. Try not to believe everything that you are told because there are always at least two ways of seeing things. Be positive. You are capable of so much. Take care of your needs on a daily basis.

Keep up the pace this week so that you have plenty to discuss and 'write home aboutʼ. With your mind so active, you are capable of doing in a day what would normally take a week. By-pass those who try to slow you down. There will be plenty of time to be a plod later.

SCORPIO (October 24 - November 22)

CAPRICORN (December 22 - January 20)

Leave nothing to chance when it

Concentrate on your physical needs

You may think that you know it all, but in this world there is no chance of that. Maybe you are out of touch generally, or just out of touch with your own needs. Give building your strength priority. How much better you will cope with extra energy.

LIBRA (September 24 - October 23)

PISCES (February 20 - March 20) Others may be changing their minds, and generally being a bit of a pain. That may irritate you but it is no reason to change your plans. Both you and your colleagues will be glad that you did in the longer term. You may need to find some peace and space for yourself come the weekend.


ARIES (March 21 - April 20)

HOW TO PLAY Fill the grid so that every row, every column and every 3X3 box contains the digits 1-9. There’s no maths involved. You solve the puzzle with reasoning and logic.


Q. How can you lift an elephant with one hand? A. It is not a problem, since you will never find an elephant with one hand.



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Saturday May 19


Saturday May 19






Friday May 18

Saturday May 19

Sunday May 20



40 46



22 31
















12 22









camp, capo, clap, clip, clop, comp, copy, damp, dopy, lamp ,limp, mopy, opal, paid, pail, palm, pica, play, plod ,ploy, poly, amply, campy, clamp, clomp, copal, imply, palmy, plaid, plica, podia, comply, damply, dimply, diploma, placoid, Olympiad, DIPLOMACY

Word ladder








Very good: 9 Excellent: 12



LOTTERY Saturday May 19


lipoma, myopia, myopic, placid ,policy,

Now that you are feeling much better, it will be tempting to put aside your healthy eating and exercise, but if you remember what a difference it makes it would be silly to stop now. Enlist the help of a friend or two in keeping the momentum going.


1. Fold paper 2. Tray gardening (or tray planting) 3. Empty orchestra 4. Empty hand 5. Harbour wave 6. Wearing thing 7. Gentle way 8. Belly cutting 9. Number single status 10. Divine wind

Good: 6

TAURUS (April 21 - May 21)

Have you got a funny joke? Include full name and town you live in

Below are 10 English translations of Japanese words, what are those words or phrases?

Average: 5

Looking back over the past few months you will realise that fine adjustments are needed. Both your working life and diet need attention, so be determined that progress made will continue apace. Certainly, you have no qualms about facing any problems straight on. You thrive on responsibility and there is no shortage of that at the moment.



Constantino Romero



Officer Dave Brown is a violent, ‘dirty’ cop with a complicated family life. When he gets caught on tape beating a suspect, he finds himself in a personal and emotional downward spiral as the consequences of his past sins and his refusal to change his ways in light of a departmentwide corruption scandal seal his fate. Although Harrelson’s performance is solid, the film lacks originality and pace. 1h47m Director: Oren Moverman Starring: Woody Harrelson, Sigourney Weaver, Robin Wright, Ned Beatty


Move from the start word (HARD) to the end word (SOFT) in the same number of steps as there are rungs on the Word Ladder. You must only change one letter at a time.



Los Angeles, 1999



Drama, Action

10-star quiz


The Secret Journal of Doctor Watson


How many English words of four letters or more can you make from the nine letters in our Nonagram puzzle? Each letter may be used only once (unless the letter appears twice). Each word MUST CONTAIN THE CENTRE LETTER (in this case N) and there must be AT LEAST ONE NINE LETTER WORD. Plurals, vulgarities or proper nouns are not allowed.

24 - 30 May 2012




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Crosswords CRYPTIC


Across 1 Greek leg-end of Greek legend? (8,4) 8 A hundred cheer about day nursery (6) 9 ʻCarsʼ, so unusual to get Academy Award (6) 10 Itʼs time wasted, having imps sent out (8) 11 The French church tie (4) 12 Not exactly real name, so commit it to memory (5) 14 A practical joke from humourist Ricky Gervais (5) 18 Drug account Iʼd created (4) 20 Cooked first pie for aircraft (8) 22 Search for water thatʼs excellent (6) 23 Suspicion about a body part (6) 24 Birds nearly stealing nuts (12) Down 2 Rifle around about cabin (7) 3 Peruvian group are in with accountants (5) 4 Is ʻGleeʼ made for masters (6) 5 Grade, including H for films (6) 6 Coral Sea, perhaps, without a fish (7) 7 Poor Cyril produces a musical (5) 13 Getting shot of many in part

The clues are mixed, some clues are in Spanish and some are in English. Across 1 Horse (7) 7 December (9) 8 Rich (wealthy) (4) 9 Expensive (4) 11 Blancanieves (4,5) 12 Pasas (7)

of Yorkshire (7) 15 Itʼs a boat care of motoring organisationʼs trainee engineer (7) 16 Just one facet of the view (6) 17 Almost honing, perhaps (4,2) 19 Terrier in car is ill (5) 21 Order a fun year for animal life (5)

Down 1 Fidgety (8) 2 Restrict (7) 3 Jump over (4) 5 Hide (8) 6 Dwelling (5) 7 Make (4) 8 Strength (5) 13 Go on (8) 14 Practice (8) 17 Supply (7) 18 Taunt (5) 20 Find out (5) 22 Blocks (4) 23 Run away (4)

2. Unscramble the name of a popular type of cake:EAT FLOUR BACKSTAGE

Play on Words



Answers: All over the shop; A bit of a lad

1. Unscramble the name of a famous British politician and journalist:NO JOB OR SHINS

3 Yesterday (4) 4 Bibliotecario (9) 5 Dirección (7) 6 Clocks (7)

Co d e B r e a ke r LAST WEEK’S SOLUTIONS: CRYPTIC - Across 1 Limb, 4 Wines, 9 Impedes, 10 Punch, 11 Bayou, 12 Eclairs, 13 Second, 15 Forgot, 19 Derider, 21 Trial, 23 Loner, 24 Shifted, 25 Hardy, 26 Hard. Down: 2 Imply, 3 Bedouin, 4 Washer, 5 Nepal, 6 Sinning, 7 Airbus, 8 Ohms, 14 Corinth, 16 Ostrich, 17 Toledo, 18 Trusty, 19 Doll, 20 Durer, 22 Inter. QUICK - Across: 1 Surpass, 5 Screw, 8 Explain, 9 Adapt, 10 Nudge, 11 Latrine, 12 Always, 14 Utters, 17 Parsley, 19 Scare, 22 Align, 23 Amiable, 24 Dodge, 25 Torment. . Down: 1 Stern, 2 Rapid, 3 Academy, 4 Single, 5 Scant, 6 Realise, 7 Witness, 12 Applaud, 13 Worried, 15 Tastier, 16 Tyrant, 18 Lunge, 20 Amble, 21 Elect. ENGLISH - SPANISH Across: 1 Hat, 4 Feo, 6 Awake, 7 Ten, 9 War, 11 Tap, 13 Lobo, 14 Oler, 15 Ear, 17 Sed, 19 Sol, 21 Araña, 22 Rey, 23 Dos Down: 1 Hit, 2 Tan, 3 Baya, 4 Few, 5 Oar, 8 Elope, 10 Abeto, 11 Toe, 12 Por, 16 Asar, 17 Ser, 18 Day, 19 Sad, 20 Los.


2 Artichoke (9)

10 Búhos (4)

QUICK Across 1 Remember (6) 4 Get away (6) 9 Exceed (7) 10 Smell (5) 11 Guide (4) 12 At ease (7) 15 Rarely (6) 16 Specimen (6) 19 Lavish praise (7) 21 Tire (4) 24 Once more (5) 25 Person of military skill (7) 26 Poem of 14 lines (6) 27 Calm (6)



Hexagram The purpose of the Hexagram puzzle is to place the 19 six-letter words into the 19 cells. The letters at the edges of interlocking cells MUST BE THE SAME. The letters in the words must be written CLOCKWISE. The word in cell 10 (METRES) and one letter in four other cells are given as clues.


I understand by 'freedom of spirit' something quite definite - the unconditional will to say ‘no’, where it is dangerous to say ‘no’. Friedrich Nietzsche (1844-1900), German philosopher, poet and composer.

Each number in the Code Breaker grid represents a different letter of the alphabet. In this week’s puzzle, 21 represents Z and 26 represents Q, so fill in Z every time the figure 21 appears and Q every time the figure 26 appears. Now, using your knowledge of the English language, work out which letters should go in the missing squares. As you discover the letters, fill in other squares with the same number in the main grid and the control grid.

Averse Bitter Collar Desire Estate Grease Invest Melons METRES(10) Millet Peered Pounce Resist Result Sheets Slopes Spears Steals Titled

LAST WEEK’S SOLUTION 1 Threat, 2 Chills, 3 Estate, 4 Hauled, 5 Traits, 6 Barely, 7 Elapse, 8 Gaiter, 9 Dearly, 10 Priest, 11 Adding, 12 Tastes, 13 Oceans, 14 Fourth, 15 Scrape, 16 Busied, 17 Splash, 18 Trough, 19 Relate






24 - 30 May 2012 Mallorca THURSDAY MAY 24

BBC1 6:00pm Newsround 6:15pm Pointless 7:00pm BBC News at Six 7:30pm BBC London News 8:00pm The One Show 8:30pm EastEnders 9:00pm Planet Earth Live 10:00pm National Treasures: Jubilee Special 11:00pm BBC News at Ten 11:25pm BBC London News 11:35pm Question Time 12:35am This Week 1:20am Holiday Weatherview 1:25am Panorama 1:55am Countryfile


6:15pm Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 7:00pm Eggheads 7:30pm TOTP 2 8:30pm Great British Menu 9:00pm RHS Chelsea Flower Show 10:00pm The Fish Market: Inside Billingsgate 11:00pm Grandma's House 11:30pm Newsnight 12:20am Golf 1:20am BBC News 5:00am The Power of Poetry


6:00pm The Chase 7:00pm London Tonight 7:30pm ITV News and Weather 8:00pm Emmerdale 8:30pm Tonight 9:00pm Emmerdale 9:30pm Coronation Street 10:00pm Long Lost Family 11:00pm ITV News at Ten and Weather 11:35pm Soccer Aid 12:05am Piers Morgan's Life Stories 1:05am Jackpot247

Channel 4

5:00pm Deal or No Deal 6:00pm Come Dine with Me 7:00pm The Simpsons 7:30pm Hollyoaks 8:00pm Channel 4 News 8:55pm Oscar Pistorius 'One Giant Leap' 9:00pm Phil Spencer Secret Agent 10:00pm The Hoarder Next Door 11:00pm 24 Hours in A and E 12:05am The Secret Millionaire 1:05am 1:10am Random Acts 1:15am Paralympic World Cup Highlights

Channel 5

6:30pm Neighbours 7:00pm Home and Away 7:30pm 5 News 8:00pm Police Interceptors 9:00pm The True Story 10:00pm The Restaurant Inspector 11:00pm Conspiracy Theory 1:40am Super Casino 5:00am House Doctor


BBC1 7:00pm BBC News at Six 7:30pm BBC London News 8:00pm The One Show 9:00pm EastEnders 9:30pm Would I Lie to You? 10:00pm Have I Got News for You 10:30pm Michael McIntyre's Comedy Roadshow 11:00pm BBC News at Ten 11:25pm BBC London News 11:35pm The Graham Norton Show 12:20am The National Lottery Friday Night Draws 12:30am The Matt Lucas Awards 1:05am EastEnders Omnibus


7:00pm Eggheads 7:30pm TOTP 2 8:30pm Great British Menu 9:00pm RHS Chelsea Flower Show 10:00pm The Great British Story: A People's History 11:00pm Episodes 11:30pm Newsnight 12:05am Golf 1:05am Later... with Jools Holland 2:10am Taken 3:35am BBC News


7:00pm London Tonight 7:30pm ITV News and Weather 8:00pm Emmerdale 8:30pm Coronation Street 9:00pm Poms in Paradise 9:30pm Coronation Street 10:00pm Piers Morgan's Life Stories 11:00pm ITV News at Ten and Weather 11:35pm Soccer Aid 12:05am Barb Wire 1:50am The Store 3:55am The Four Musketeers 5:40am ITV Nightscreen

Channel 4

7:30pm Hollyoaks 8:00pm Channel 4 News 8:30pm Unreported World 8:55pm London Dreaming 9:00pm Come Dine with Me 10:00pm 8 Out of 10 Cats 10:30pm Very Important People 11:00pm Alan Carr: Chatty Man 12:05am Stand Up for the Week 12:50am Rhod Gilbert and the Award-Winning Mince Pie Multi-award-winning Welsh stand-up 1:55am 2:00am Paralympic World Cup Highlights

Channel 5

7:30pm 5 News 8:00pm Cricket on 5 9:00pm Mega Builders 10:00pm The Mentalist 11:00pm Castle 11:55pm Law and Order: Criminal Intent 12:50am Inside Hollywood 1:00am Super Casino





5:50pm Pointless Celebrities 6:40pm BBC News 6:50pm Regional News 6:55pm Weather 7:00pm My Family 7:30pm The Voice UK 8:50pm National Lottery Saturday Draws 9:00pm Eurovision Song Contest 2012 12:15am BBC News 12:30am Weather 12:35am The Girl Next Door 2:15am Weatherview 2:20am BBC News


4:50pm Escape to the Country 5:50pm Golf 7:00pm Flog It! 7:45pm Dad's Army 8:15pm Chelsea Flower Show 9:15pm Arts Troubleshooter 10:15pm A Picture of London 11:15pm Dara This is the Show 12:15am Totp2 Eurovision Special 1:15am Brooklyn Rules 2:45am The Pope's Toilet (El Bano Del Papa) 4:20am Pages from Ceefax


4:30pm Bond: 007 at 50 6:35pm Local News and Weather 6:45pm ITV News and Weather 7:00pm Totally You've Been Framed! 8:00pm International Friendly 11:00pm ITV News and Weather 11:15pm International Friendly 11:40pm The Matrix 2:05am The Store 4:10am In Plain Sight 4:55am ITV Nightscreen

Channel 4

5:05pm The Simpsons 5:35pm Come Dine with Me 6:35pm Channel 4 News 7:05pm St. Trinian's 9:00pm The Curious Case of Benjamin Button 12:15am Rude Tube 1:20am 1:25am 1:30am Paralympic World Cup Highlights 2:25am The Edukators 4:30am Hallo Panda 5:00am St. Elsewhere 5:50am Smallville

Channel 5

4:10pm Man From God's Country 5:40pm The Unforgiven 7:55pm 5 News 8:00pm Cricket England v West Indies. 9:00pm NCIS 10:00pm CSI: NY 11:00pm Law and Order: Special Victims Unit 11:55pm Law and Order: Special Victims Unit 12:50am Forensic Files 1:15am Super Casino

6:20pm RHS Chelsea Flower Show 6:50pm BBC News 7:05pm Regional News 7:10pm Weather 7:15pm Countryfile 8:15pm The Voice UK 9:00pm British Academy Television Awards 11:00pm BBC News 11:15pm Regional News 11:20pm Weather 11:25pm Have I Got a Bit More News for You 12:10am Room 101 12:50am The Football League Show 1:40am Weatherview 1:45am Ewan McGregor: Cold Chain Mission


7:00pm Rowing 8:00pm Singapore 1942: End of Empire 9:00pm Indian Ocean with Simon Reeve 10:00pm Coast 11:00pm The Road 12:40am Episodes 1:10am Grandma's House 1:40am Tadpole 2:50am BBC News 5:30am Pages from Ceefax


6:30pm Local News and Weather 6:45pm ITV News and Weather 7:00pm Soccer Aid 11:00pm ITV News at Ten and Weather 11:20pm Smugglers Special 12:15am Aviva Premiership Rugby Highlights 1:15am The Store 3:15am River Monsters 4:10am Motorsport UK 5:00am ITV Nightscreen

Channel 4

6:35pm St. Trinian's 8:25pm Channel 4 News 8:55pm Nathan Stephens: Warrior 9:00pm Come Dine with Me 10:00pm The Lovely Bones 12:35am A History of Violence 2:20am Camelot 3:15am Journey Through the Night 3:25am Hollyoaks Omnibus

Channel 5

5:05pm Disney's Hunchback of Notre Dame 6:55pm Elizabeth II: A Diamond Jubilee Celebration 7:55pm 5 News 8:00pm Cricket 9:00pm Once Upon a Time 10:00pm Britain's Funniest Comedy Characters 12:50am Comedy Kings - Best of Just for Laughs 1:20am The Walking Dead


BBC1 5:00pm Copycats 5:30pm Help! My Supply Teacher is Magic 6:00pm Newsround 6:15pm Pointless 7:00pm BBC News 7:30pm Regional News 8:00pm The One Show 8:30pm How to Beat Pain 9:00pm EastEnders 9:30pm Panorama 10:00pm Chatsworth 11:00pm BBC News 11:25pm Regional News 11:30pm Weather 11:35pm A Question of Sport 12:05am The One Griff Rhys Jones 12:35am The Graham Norton Show 1:25am Weatherview Detailed weather forecast. 1:30am Divine Women 2:30am Chaplains: Angels of Mersey


5:30pm Flog It! 6:15pm Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 7:00pm Eggheads 7:30pm TOTP2 8:30pm Great British Menu 9:00pm Springwatch 10:00pm Afghanistan 11:00pm Sounds of the 70s 11:30pm Newsnight 12:20am Dam Busters: The Race to Smash the German Dams 1:20am BBC News 4:15am The Super League Show 5:00am Eco Maths


5:00pm Midsomer Murders 6:00pm The Chase 7:00pm Local News and Weather 7:30pm ITV News and Weather 8:00pm Emmerdale 8:30pm Coronation Street 9:00pm Queen and I 9:30pm Coronation Street 10:00pm 56 Up 11:00pm ITV News and Weather 11:35pm Born in the USSR: 28 Up 1:05am Jackpot247 3:35am The Jeremy Kyle Show 4:25am ITV Nightscreen 5:35am The Jeremy Kyle Show

Elizabeth II - 6:55pm

BBC1 4:47pm Deadly 60 Bites 5:00pm Copycats 5:30pm Who Let the Dogs Out? 6:00pm Newsround 6:15pm Pointless 7:00pm BBC News 7:30pm Regional News 8:00pm The One Show 8:30pm EastEnders 9:00pm Holby City 10:00pm Silk 11:00pm BBC News 11:25pm Regional News 11:30pm Weather 11:35pm The Apprentice 12:35am Prime 2:15am Weatherview 2:20am The Apprentice 3:20am Horizon 4:20am The 1952 Show 5:05am Great British Menu 5:35am BBC News


5:30pm Flog It! 6:15pm Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 7:00pm Eggheads 7:30pm TOTP2 8:30pm Great British Menu 9:00pm Springwatch 10:00pm Great Ormond Street 11:00pm QI 11:30pm Newsnight 12:20am She-Wolves: England's Early Queens 1:20am BBC News 4:50am In My Shoes 5:00am In My Shoes


5:00pm Midsomer Murders 6:00pm The Chase 7:00pm Local News and Weather 7:30pm ITV News and Weather 8:00pm Emmerdale 8:30pm Trash to Treasure 9:00pm Countrywise Jubilee 10:00pm Prince Charles: The Royal Restoration 11:00pm ITV News at Ten and Weather 11:35pm Grimefighters 12:05am Nature's Fury 1:05am Jackpot247 3:35am Loose Women 4:25am ITV Nightscreen

Channel 4

5:00pm Deal or No Deal 6:00pm Come Dine with Me 7:00pm The Simpsons 7:30pm Hollyoaks 8:00pm Channel 4 News 8:55pm 9:00pm Dispatches 9:30pm Gok Cooks Chinese 10:00pm The Secret Millionaire 11:00pm 8 Out of 10 Cats 11:50pm The Hoarder Next Door 12:55am Random Acts 1:00am Embarrassing Bodies 2:00am My Big Fat Fetish 2:55am Empire Records

5:00pm Deal or No Deal 6:00pm Come Dine with Me 7:00pm The Simpsons 7:30pm Hollyoaks 8:00pm Channel 4 News 8:55pm 9:00pm Embarrassing Bodies 10:00pm Jimmy and the Giant Supermarket 11:00pm Hidden Talent 12:05am Random Acts 1 2:10am Alan Carr: Chatty Man 1:15am Pokerstars.Co.UK 2:15am Kotv Boxing 2:40am Sailing 3:05am Mobil 1 The Grid 3:30am British GT 3:55am Freesports on 4 4:25am Freesports on 4 4:50am FIA GT1 Championship 5:45am The Paralympic Show

6:00pm 5 News 6:30pm Neighbours 7:00pm Home and Away 7:30pm 5 News 8:00pm Cricket 9:00pm The Gadget Show World Tour 10:00pm Robson's Extreme Fishing Challenge 11:00pm The Walking Dead 12:00am The Wicker Man 1:55am Super Casino

6:00pm 5 News 6:30pm Neighbours 7:00pm Home and Away 7:30pm 5 News 8:00pm Cricket 9:00pm War Hero in My Family 10:00pm CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 11:00pm CSI: NY 11:55pm CSI: Miami 12:55am CSI: Miami 1:50am Super Casino

Channel 4

Channel 5



Channel 5


BBC1 4:35pm Prank Patrol Down Under 4:47pm Deadly 60 Bites 5:00pm Copycats 5:30pm HH: Gory Games 6:00pm Newsround 6:15pm Pointless 7:00pm BBC News 7:30pm Regional News 8:00pm The One Show 8:30pm Rip Off Britain 9:00pm DIY SOS The Big Build 10:00pm The Apprentice 11:00pm BBC News 11:25pm Regional News 11:30pm Weather 11:35pm National Lottery Midweek Draws 11:45pm Déjà Vu 1:40am Weatherview 1:45am See Hear 2:15am The 70s 3:15am Great Ormond Street 4:15am The 1952 Show 5:00am Great British Menu 5:30am BBC News


4:45pm Hairy Bikers' Best of British 5:30pm Flog It! 6:15pm Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 7:00pm Eggheads 7:30pm TOTP2 8:30pm Great British Menu 9:00pm Springwatch 10:00pm Afghanistan 11:00pm The Apprentice 11:30pm Newsnight 12:20am She-Wolves: England's Early Queens 1:20am BBC News 5:00am Eco Maths 5:30am The Code


5:00pm Midsomer Murders 6:00pm The Chase 7:00pm Regional News and Weather 7:30pm ITV News and Weather 8:00pm Emmerdale 8:30pm The Unforgettable 9:00pm Lewis 11:00pm ITV News at Ten and Weather 11:35pm Unforgiven 2:00am Jackpot247 4:00am The Lion in Winter

Channel 4

4:00pm Dickinson's Real Deal 5:00pm Midsomer Murders 6:00pm The Chase 7:00pm Regional News and Weather 7:30pm ITV News and Weather 8:00pm Emmerdale 8:30pm The Unforgettable 9:00pm Lewis 11:00pm ITV News at Ten and Weather 11:35pm Unforgiven 2:00am Jackpot247 4:00am The Lion in Winter

Channel 5

4:15pm Miles From Nowhere 6:00pm 5 News at 5 6:30pm Neighbours 7:00pm Home and Away 7:30pm 5 News 8:00pm The Gadget Show: World Tour 9:00pm Emergency Bikers 10:00pm NCIS 11:00pm Law and Order: Special Victims Unit 11:55pm Law and Order: Special Victims Unit 12:50am Pokerstars 1:50am Super Casino 5:00am House Doctor 5:25am Divine Designs 5:50am Divine Designs





24 - 30 May 2012


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W hat’s On On What’s • Thur May 24 - ‘The Barber of Seville’ Opera. Transmitted at 8pm at Festival Park in Marratxi. Tickets €10 - ‘Shakespeare’s Villans’ Play at Palma's Teatre Principal at 9pm. Tickets €20 at the box office. - 'RUTA DEL TAPEO’ in Port Pollensa every Thursday evening from 7 – 11pm. Wine, beer or sangria and tapas for only €1.50 at various cafes and restaurants in the port. • Fri May 25 - Sun June 3 - The 30th Book Fair in Palma held in the Paseo del Borne organised by the Fairs and Conventions Balearic and the Booksellers Guild together with the Consell de Mallorca, Open daily from 10am till 2pm and again from 4pm till 9pm. You can read best sellers, news, reading books and comics, and a whole repertoire of publications such as guides, pamphlets, etc. • Sat May 26 - Car Boot Sale and Summer Fair at the Academy School in Marratxi. From 10am to 1pm. Activities include: pony rides, face painting, bargain hunting, Lucky Dip, Fortune Telling, Beat The Goalie, playground fun, snacks, BBQ, refreshments, big raffle with fantastic prizes. Tickets €1 (includes raffle ticket). Children are free. - Mallorca Cricket Club Spring Fayre at the Cricket Ground in Magaluf. Starts 12 noon. • Sat May 26 - Sun May 27 - Puerto Portals Nautical Weekend. Organised to be a boat fair that will be taking place at the marina and will have a

24 - 30 May 2012

large number of yachts on display for the public on floating quays, a shore-based exhibition in the central boulevard area, numerous local yacht charter companies, local chandlery and yachting accessories local companies with products on display. - The annual Stone Fair (Fira Sa Pedra) in Binissalem. There are stalls with the island's traditional crafts, art exhibitions, and cuisine displays with the 'Mostra cuina Binissalem feta'. Local restaurants offer different dishes of the typical flavours of the island. - 21st Agricultural Fair in Manacor. As part of the Fairs and Festivals of spring in Manacor the 21st Agricultural Fair features livestock, industrial and commercial crafts. With a full calendar of events during the weekend there is a fairground, trade shows, cars, marine products and exhibitions of livestock rearing and agricultural machinery. - The Ecological Fair in Puigpunyent which has become recognised as a municipality that is leading the way in recycling as its recycling programme has reduced unused waste by 70%. This fair celebrates the town’s Patron Saint and shows off its achievements with agricultural, industrial and artisan exhibits. • Thur May 31 - EXCURSION - The team at Age Concern Mallorca organise an excursion to Felanitx, Cala Domingos, Calas de Mallorca and Porto Cristo for anyone wishing to take part. The price is €22 which includes lunch. - RUTA DEL TAPEO in Pollensa every Thursday evening from 7 – 11pm. Wine, beer or sangria and tapas for only €1.50 at


various cafes and restaurants in the town and port. • Sat June 2 - JUBILEE PARTY – The first of the many Diamond Jubilee celebrations on Mallorca is held at the Balears International College in Magalluf. The staff and students organise stalls, demonstrations and live music with Spectrum FM Mallorca hosing the event. It all starts at 11am. - The Balears International School in Palma also joins in the Queen Elizabeth's Diamond Jubilee celebrations with a street party and fair. With stalls, raffle and more all funds raised will go the Salvation Army on the island. More information can be obtained by calling 971403161. • Sat June 2 and Sun June 3 - The Shoe Fair in Lloseta celebrates the town’s long history in making footwear over this weekend. In addition to a variety of trade shows, craft and cuisine, the show is popular for its shoemaking by hand demonstrations. • Sun May 3 - More Diamond Jubilee celebrations this time at the Scottish Corner Bar in Santa Ponsa. There will be a party with stalls, tombola and a raffle. Live music from Vinnie Scott, Alison Clancy, Leapy Lee, Just Jacqui, Simon Rose and Candice Wilkinson and a disco with DJ Jon White. All proceeds to go to Age Concern Mallorca, the Support Charlie fund and Centro Canino animal rescue shelter. Starts 1pm. • Mon June 4 - QUEEN’S DIAMOND JUBILEE PARTY AND CONCERT organised by the Rotary Club of Calvia

By Laura Penn • Tue June 5 - MALLORCA ROCKS opening gig with ED SHEERAN • Fri June 8 - MALLORCA ROCKS - EXAMPLE & DJ WIRE • Sat June 9 - The Night of the Potato Fair in Sa Pobla offers all kinds of potato dishes costing between €1 and €3 in the La Plaza Mayor de Sa Pobla from 7.30pm. You can taste over 40 different dishes made from the common potato including Galician octopus with potatoes (€3)! In addition the 20 restaurants around sell donuts, wine and more. This is a unique event and well worth a visit. • Sat June 9 & Sun June 10 -

SANT JOAN • Sun June 10




- HERB FAIR – Selva hosts its Herb Fair this weekend, with a mixture of agricultural and traditional events taking place during the day and the evening. The event kicks off at 10am and you can enjoy exhibitions, cooking demonstrations and tastings of all things herbal. • Tue June 12 - MALLORCA ROCKS – Maverick, Sabre, Labrinth - MALLORCA LIVE – Rizzel Kicks • Thur June 14 - Age Concern Mallorca Excursion to Ses Salines market Museum about Cabrera in Colonia Sa Jordi, lunch at Hotel in Cala Do’dor €22

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EWN 35 Mallorca


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G ig Gig G uide Guide

Compiled by Laura Penn from Spectrum FM If you are a performer or a venue with live music email information to for inclusion in the gig guide.

• THURSDAY ARRON REECE – Monroes, Magaluf 8.30pm JP BRADSHAW – Tropical Gardens, Cala D’or (Michael Buble tribute) RONAN LEONARD & MIKEY – Seans Place, Santa Ponsa, 9.30pm VINNIE SCOTT – Palma Bar, Puerto Pollensa 9.30pm ARRON REECE – Arthurs Bar, Magaluf 11.15pm WEIGHTLESS ASTRONAUTS – Durty Nellys, Santa Ponsa, midnight.

IDYLLIC: A fantastic perspective from which to muse on life and happiness.

Reflections on life from a balcony

• FRIDAY ARRON REECE – Monroes, Magaluf 8.30pm JP BRADSHAW – Trotters Bar, Can Picafort RONAN LEONARD & MIKEY – Seans Place, Santa Ponsa, 9.30pm WEIGHTLESS ASTRONAUTS - Aroma, El Toro, 9pm. ARRON REECE – Piano Bar, 10pm (Ratpack & Blues Brothers show) VINNIE SCOTT – McTavishes in Santa Ponsa, 10pm WEIGHTLESS ASTRONAUTS – Durty Nellys, Santa Ponsa, midnight. • SATURDAY ARRON REECE – Monroes, Magaluf 8.30pm JP BRADSHAW – Finnegans, Magaluf (Neil Diamond tribute) RONAN LEONARD & MIKEY – Seans Place, Santa Ponsa, 9.30pm HATS at Aroma, El Toro, 9pm. VINNIE SCOTT at Hotel Cala Bona 9.30pm WEIGHTLESS ASTRONAUTS – Durty Nellys, Santa Ponsa midnight. • SUNDAY RONAN LEONARD & MIKEY – Seans Place, Santa Ponsa, 9.30pm JP BRADSHAW – Stadium, Palmanova, 9.30pm (Michael Buble tribute) VINNIE SCOTT – Eden Paradise, Cala D’or 9.30pm WEIGHTLESS ASTRONAUTS – Durty Nellys, Santa Ponsa midnight. • MONDAY ARRON REECE – Monroes, Magaluf 8.30pm IAN DUNCAN – Hotel Paraiso, Alcudia VINNIE SCOTT – Club Mac, Alcudia 9pm JP BRADSHAW – Tropical Gardens, Cala D’or RONAN LEONARD & MIKEY – Seans Place, Santa Ponsa, 9.30pm ARRON REECE – Piano Bar, Magaluf 10pm WEIGHTLESS ASTRONAUTS – Durty Nellys, Santa Ponsa midnight. • TUESDAY ARRON REECE – Monroes, Magaluf 8.30pm RONAN LEONARD & MIKEY – Seans Place, Santa Ponsa, 9.30pm JP BRADSHAW – Benny Hills, Magaluf, request show 10pm VINNE SCOTT – Britannia Bar, Sa Coma 10pm WEIGHTLESS ASTRONAUTS – Durty Nellys, Santa Ponsa midnight. ARRON REECE – Monroes, Magaluf 8.30pm JP BRADSHAW – Jardin del Luz, Santa Ponsa RONAN LEONARD & MIKEY – Seans Place, Santa Ponsa, 9.30pm VINNIE SCOTT – Finnegans, Magaluf 10pm ARRON REECE – Piano Bar, Magaluf 10.30pm (Country & Beatles show) WEIGHTLESS ASTRONAUTS – Durty Nellys, Santa Ponsa midnight. VERA LYNNS at Bananas, Magaluf 4am


HE balcony is small, about three metres by two metres. A slate grey sea stretches ahead, framed by mountains to the north and sky to the east. From here I can see the curve of the earth. This is my balcony. From this perch I write, paint, read and drink Cava. Last week my friend Kerry and I reminisced about our respective pasts. The following day I watched a flotilla of wind surfers glide, eddy and capsize with the tide. Today I am charting the steady progress of a Guardia launch as it knifes its way through the waves towards Tabarka. From this balcony I ponder my future whilst hovering in limbo like a drugged and slightly deranged Eurydice awaiting Orpheus, the ultimate in unreliable boyfriends. The Cava is cold and crisply dry, the way I like it, and a gentle breeze ruffles the pines below. The scene is idyllic and yet... and yet. Humans are by nature discontented. It is what drives us to achieve and to invent and to conquer. God’s cruellest trick was to give man rational thought and free will for without it we would be benignly furrowing and hunting, happy in our existence and in our claim to the earth and its riches. I sit and marvel at the wonderful view; my life, which is so much

Suzanne Manners Suzanne has a degree in Fine Art from Goldsmiths and an MA in Writing from Lancaster University. She is currently teaching in Alicante and writing a book for teenagers (which doesn’t have a vampire as its central character).

richer for being here in Spain, is a good one. I have good memories, some good friends and an interesting (if exhausting) job, and yet... and yet I am still not happy. But what is happiness? What constitutes a happy life?

How on earth would you teach happiness to today’s students?

In the UK it has been proposed that schools offer their students lessons in happiness. How on earth do they teach that? Perhaps the government could replace all teachers with clowns (ugh!) and offer mountains of hot fudge sundaes, liposuction and nose jobs as part of the curriculum.

How would you assess the end results? What tests are there for happiness? Could we measure the size of the smile or the inability to protest? There you go, our students are happy because they don’t complain; a job well done, ‘A Levels in Contentment’ to all candidates with university offers to study Prozac Induced Pliability. One has to despair at the extent of ‘nannying’ which takes place in Western society. Unhappiness, unfortunately, is an important part of the human condition; better to teach our children how to deal with it rather than avoid it. Sadness, tragedy and despondency, not to mention boredom, are part of the human condition. If I could go back in time and prevent the deaths, divorces, sadness that have befallen friends, family and myself I would, but I for one would not be who I am, (for good or bad) without those experiences. I can’t change my past but I can most certainly learn to deal with it. The launch has gone, the sun is setting and the bottle is empty, but my life, if truth be told, is full. This is my balcony. Virginia Woolf had a room of her own, me, I have a balcony with the most incredible sea view. Beat that!

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EWN 37



OST of us feel the suffering expressed in the Irish ballad,The Fields of Athenry. It tells the story of a young man driven to despair by poverty. To feed his family he steals a little corn from his landowner employer, Lord Trevelyan. Put on trial in the 1850s, the youngster is transported to the colonies; his wife and child abandoned to their fate. Such cruelties couldn’t happen now? Think again. In June 1964, a 12-year-old boy was summoned to appear at Dublin’s Children’s Court; an oakpanelled room located in the sinister Dublin Castle. The charge related to an amateurish break-in carried out under the influence of older scamps. In terms of seriousness their misbehaviour was no more than a childhood prank. In the harsh surroundings of the court, the child was sentenced to serve three years hard labour in what was known as an ‘industrial school’. Connemara’s Letterfrack Industrial School is one of Ireland’s darkest and most notorious secrets. Its isolation was a major factor in the institutionalised abuse of the children by the Christian Brothers with whom unfortunate waifs were placed. Many of these illfated children had not been

In My Own Words: Still Running tells the compelling true story of author and Costa Blanca resident Mickey Finn’s childhood in a brutal Irish industrial school in the 1960s, Mike Walsh reports.

The child victims of modern slavery convicted of any offence; their only crime was that they had been orphaned; many were victims of a dysfunctional family life. For a child sectioned there it was a place of the darkest foreboding. Many never escaped except through the brutish door of death. That place’s awful remoteness found its equal only in a Siberian gulag and escape was a remote possibility. During his sentence, Mickey, and hundreds of other children,

who passed through this den of depravity, were methodically physically, sexually and mentally tortured and abused. The Irish State’s judicial system was instrumental in providing this depraved band of brothers with a constant stream of child victims. With Taliban zeal the brothers, practised the dark arts of sadism and sexual debauchery. They routinely administered savage beatings and tortures, often on a whim. Child sufferers were

had any interest in monitoring their imprisonment or tracing them; written off as having simply ‘disappeared’. Mickey Finn’s true story, In My Own Words: Still Running, is marked out to be such a drama. It is hard to believe such horrors could take place in the 17th century, let alone during the 1960s. It is one of the most compelling emotional rollercoaster-ride books one is likely to read. Not that it should be read as a horror story; it is a child’s victory over a state apparatus as wicked as that of the Soviets. It is a child’s triumph over depraved sadists; a child who did survive but is still running from the ghosts that reach after him. The author and victim of this dreadful institution lives in Costa Blanca South. In My Own Words: Still Running is being considered by an American movie producer; this book could change history.

randomly selected and the injuries inflicted were witnessed by the institution’s terrorised children. Many children died or disappeared. In the institution’s gardens today may be found the markers of more than 140 children known In My Own Words: Still to have been Running Mickey Finn. murdered. Many more are price £6.75. Kindle unaccounted for; $2.79. Amazon $13.58 they simply disappeared. No one




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likewise that it might be difficult without a natural spring in the garden. But then we found that they are not. Sometime ago we received details of a new book entitled Natural Swimming Pools – A guide for Building by Michael Littlewood, an English based international natural landscape architect. This book follows on from his first book on natural pools Natural Swimming Pools – Inspiration for Harmony with Nature and includes full guidelines for the self construction of a natural pool, or for briefing an

24 - 30 May 2012


he may be away building a natural pool for a client on the Med. Naturally they need topping up but if the water drops in the summer by 50 centimetres it won’t be disastrous as you have no skimmers to worry about. As with all pools if guttering is fitted to roofs and the rain water collected and stored in tanks under the terrace surrounding the pool there can be ample free water for topping up the pool and watering the garden. This is so for when there is a drought imposed ban on garden irrigation and the topping up of pools. In recent summers some gardeners in Spain have had to resort to stopping chlorinating and using the pool for keeping cool in order to save their precious Garden of Eden. With a well thought out natural swimming pool and rainwater conservation system you can not only swim at all times but also be able to create a genuine Garden of Eden within and around the pool. Imagine the banks lined with water irises and buttercups in the spring and the fantastic flowers of hibiscus coccineus (originally from the marshlands of Florida and Georgia in the USA) in the summer months. Since the water is



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architect/constructor of what you want and how it should be built. The book includes 80 illustrations and coloured photographs, plus most importantly 50 useful detailed scaled construction drawings. In some cases construction costs can be considerably less than for a standard swimming pool. Imagine gliding in a cool pool of fresh water kept clean and hygienic by the natural action of oxygenating plants rather than chemicals, and watching reed warblers in the poolside reeds. Or later when taking a siesta under a nearby tree dragonflies hovering over the water and mosquitoes kept down by a few resident fish. If you’re lucky the pool will attract endangered species of birds and amphibians like crested newts which are now in residence in the waterways of the natural La Albarda gardens in the large sprawling La Sella urbanisation - (phone 963 523 099 to arrange a visit but don’t expect a natural swimming pool as yet). If you are tempted by the idea more details and the book priced at £65 plus £10 for postage and packing can be obtained from, uk or by a cheap evening phone call to 0044146075515 recognising that


circulated during swimming months or indeed all year round stimulating/restful natural spring or waterfall features can be added to the design. If you decide to build a natural pool or already have one we would love to see a photograph of the end result. Just send it to the regular

email address gardeninginspain@hotmail. com for sending in questions. By the way thanks for the interesting questions that have been sent in. We think that we have answered all of them in an email reply or later weekly columns.




24 - 30 May 2012 Mallorca

ABANDONED: A house in Mijas, with doors and windows bricked up, after a recent unsuccessful attempt by squatters to occupy it.

Squatters a consequence of the economic crisis in Spain


CONSEQUENCE of this economic crisis is a steep rise in the number of people who have lost their homes. Many often respectable families have suddenly found themselves unable to keep up the mortgage payments or pay the rent. Faced with very few other options some of the soon to be homeless have taken to squatting. Squatting in Spain has been common practice amongst organised groups in the Barcelona area for the last 20 years but is now on the increase by individuals and families throughout the whole country. It is a complex legal scenario and should be seen from two different angles. On one side, under Spanish High Law, Article 47: ‘Every citizen has the right to live in a home’ and on the other side, Article 33 states: ‘Everyone has the right to legally use and own a property.’ To complicate matters further the Spanish legal system provides two ways by which a property owner may protect themselves from illegal occupation. The first is to sue the squatters, prove that they have no legal right to use the property and the judge orders them to pack up and move on. The second, and often more advantageous way for an owner, is to start a criminal procedure. Article 245.2 of Spanish Criminal Law states: ‘The one who

Community Law Corner By José Luis Navarro Solicitor and Property Administrator for Intercala Administration with Pete Woodall

occupies permanently a property against the will of its owner will be committing a criminal offence and will be sentenced to pay a fine.’ As an occupation has to be ‘against the will of the owner’ the only person entitled to instigate criminal proceedings is the owner and no one else. However, it cannot be taken for granted that a judge will always accept a squatting case as a criminal offence. Some judges would consider that a criminal case would not be appropriate if a property had been left empty for a long period of time and not well maintained. If this were to be the situation then the owner would have to revert to civil procedure and sue. Every ‘squat’ is different and it is rarely a good idea to generalise; nevertheless, squatters fall loosely into two groups: ‘compatible’ and ‘incompatible’ with the local community. In many cases illegal occupations have caused severe problems for the surrounding community

and although the community can do little in court, it can take steps to prevent such problems occurring in the first place. Squatters will tend to occupy houses they consider will not cause them future problems abandoned empty houses, without active caring owners - make an easy target. Simple steps like closing windows, doors and gates and instructing any community security guards to keep a watchful eye on run-down empty houses will help. Notify absent owners by telephone or email if their empty house is suddenly occupied. Remember owners are the only ones who can start legal proceedings against squatters. The local police should be informed immediately if anyone tries to occupy an empty house; the couple of hours between squatters entering a property and setting up home can make all the difference. In some municipalities, the town halls and police are doing all they can to

avoid these situations, so take advantage of it. There are two sides to every story; it is the courts who will decide matters once an illegal occupant has set up home in a property and under the present circumstances the courts may not necessarily come down on the side of the owners. Furthermore, the legal system is terribly overloaded in Spain and court cases can drag on for a very long time and the police can do absolutely nothing without a court order from a judge. Taking all of this into consideration for an owner or a concerned community, prevention is better than cure.


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Connie’s Pets Corner For 24-HOUR VETS visit

If you have any questions, please write to me at connie-pets@euro I’ll be happy to help.

The dentist today. Thank goodness!

Choosing a I pedigree puss ASTART with the Feline Advisory Bureau website ( and look up which breeds have hereditary diseases or defects. Find a good breed society. There will be lists of kittens or breeders online. Breed societies have a code of conduct for breeders. 1. Are the mother cat and kittens kept in the house or in a pen? You want a kitten that is brought up in the house. If there are lots of cat pens in the garden, drive away. 2. How do you socialise your kittens? Avoid the breeder who doesn’t know what this means or gives a vague answer. 3. Can I come and visit before the kittens are ready? Check before committing yourself. 4. Are your kittens vaccinated? Good breeders vaccinate their kittens before selling them. 5. Discuss any breed disorders with the breeder. For instance, ask if they have a certificate showing the mother is free from PKD (polycystic kidney disease) if the breed has this problem. If not, don’t buy. Your cat is likely to die young if it carries the PKD gene. 6. A vet’s or vet nurse’s recommendation

can be helpful but can only be completely reliable if they have seen the kittens in their home environment.


Nailing it.

Lickity Split

THIS is my cat Cleo grooming herself in a funny position. Her stomach was shaved as she had just been sterilized. The red nails are special caps called ‘soft claws’ which were invented by a vet and stop her from scratching me and the furniture!

Nicky Hall, Mijas Costa (Malaga) Submit fun pet pictures to, in as high a resolution as possible. Please include name of the pet, your full name, where you live and if relevant a couple of lines to explain the circumstances of the photo. Due to space restrictions not all submissions will be used.

WONDER if most of us are guilty of either being unaware or forgetful of many improvements in our lives when compared to those of earlier generations. My mother knew By what hunger was; so did everyone Mike Walsh Costa Blanca else in her class but they emerged better educated than kids are today. Mike Walsh. Based in Mijas Costa, international journalist, author and professional writer: exShe tells of the business assessment executive Guild of Master time when she and Craftsmen. European correspondent Boston Revolutionary Radio. her classmates trooped off to the Ear, Nose and Throat SCARY TIMES: Dentists in the past filled their patients with terror. department of Liverpool’s John Bagot Hospital. handkerchief to their between Frankenstein loved Costa homeland, I It had been built to mouths. and a Smithfield Market try to figure out an treat servicemen My earliest recollection butcher, he even wore an excuse to visit my wounded in the Crimean of a visit to the dentist apron like one. His dentist. What a contrast! Wars. was having a rubber pad solution? Rip them out. The receptionist treats The kids were about slapped over my nose. It None of that poncey you with friendliness and eight-years-old and was a suffocating repair palaver. informality. My Swedish obediently sat waiting for sensation, as though a I have sympathy with a dentist is beautiful and their names to be called. pillow was being held policeman friend who more affectionate than As each heard their name over my face. I survived, was ejected from his are most wives. We hug they were led through, the errant tooth did not. dentist’s surgery. The and exchange air-kisses arms leather-strapped to It was not a happy practitioner had tolerated mixed with affectionate a seat, and told to open experience. his patient having pleasantries. their mouths wide. Even when older I stiffened his resolve with Blunt needles and An instrument went in recall with distaste a a drink or two painful archaic dental and their tonsils were dentist who had set up beforehand. He drew the practices are now in the snipped out, without practice in a converted line when, in the chair, dustbin of history. anaesthetic. As each kid Victorian terraced house. my friend gripped the That is progress but waited their turn, the His receptionist was dentist by his scrotum why couldn’t dentists child who had gone unsmiling. When coming and said: “We’re not have been kinder and before, emerged to check my problem out going to hurt each other, more thoughtful in the howling, comforted by I heard his boot steps on are we?” past? Thank goodness their mother holding a the linoleum covered These are my thoughts attitudes towards bloodstained floorboards. A cross as today in my much- patients have changed.

No Apple a day for Hacienda IPAD and iPhone sales are soaring in Spain but Apple Stores will snatch back tax paid to Hacienda last year. The Apple Stores which first opened in September 2010 sell directly to the public but their profit margins are so low that Hacienda can look forward to precious little. Sales in these shops multiplied by 14, but the Apple division running them – Apple Retail Spain – buys iPads and iPhones from Apple Sales International at very high prices. So high, in fact, that it had to spend €60.6 million on supplies last year, with a margin barely sufficient to cover staff costs and overheads. Apple Retail Spain had pre-tax results of €364,183 or less than 0.5 per cent of sales. This incurred €143,000 in tax, of which Hacienda

BIGGEST STORE: The Apple store in Marbella, opened at the end of 2011. retained €141,000. Since losses were incurred when Apple was first launched in Spain, Hacienda now has

to return it all. Previously, more sales were made through third parties via Apple Marketing Iberia.

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24 - 30 May 2012



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EWN 47


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Don’t skimp on travel insurance By David Deverson, Insurance correspondent

GLOBELINK INTERNATIONAL THE Foreign and Commonwealth Office (FCO) is encouraging British nationals to take out insurance as part of its ‘Know Before You Go’ campaign which is designed to encourage British travellers to prepare properly before they go away. Globelink Travel Insurance are partners in the ‘Know Before You Go’ campaign. Britons visiting family and friends abroad without travel insurance are risking hefty medical bills, the FCO has warned. It said a recent survey found that a third of those who had stayed with loved ones overseas had not taken out insurance. Thirty-nine per cent had ended up relying on their hosts when things went wrong. The FCO warned skimping on travel insurance was a ‘false economy.’ We often hear of a tragic story where someone who did not arrange travel insurance has been involved in a car or motorcycle accident. And there are a far greater number of people who suddenly become ill and are not well enough to return home for some considerable time. Many wrongly assume that their EHIC (European Health Insurance Card) will cover all expenses in the event of illness or injury, but unfortunately this is not the case. A recent tragedy in which an uninsured teenage holidaymaker plunged from a balcony left his parents with a £15,000 bill to fly him back to the UK. In another case the family of a man who was left almost completely paralysed after a car accident in Kuwait say they’re desperate to bring him home. His family need almost £30,000 to get him back to the UK. A British man who lives in Spain suffered from chest pain whilst in France; he was not fit enough to fly and he was eventually bought home by ambulance. Luckily, friends have managed to raise almost all of the £11,000 bill. Many travellers wrongly assume that the EHIC card is sufficient medical cover when travelling abroad. This is not the case. Although the card is designed to give travellers within the EU the same level of care as local residents, it does not cover any other costs. It would therefore not cover repatriation costs, or any additional accommodation and travel costs of your spouse or travelling companion. Although it’s wise to travel with an EHIC, to be fully covered you’ll need adequate travel insurance with a decent level of medical cover. The FCO is unable to cover expenses for Britons needing medical treatment abroad For an instant Travel Insurance quote or to arrange cover securely online, enabling you to print your policy documents immediately, visit or you can telephone Globelink on 00 44 1353 699082 or their Spanish link lines on 966 265 000 or 951 242 434.

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Peugeot ‘Roland Garros’ Special Edition Coupé PEUGEOT has launched a special edition of the 207CC and 308CC models. Timed to be enjoyed for the Summer (while the ‘Roland Garros The French Open’ is on) and equipped, should the weather turn wet, such that the roof can be deployed within seconds, so that play can continue. The Roland Garros SEs are distinguished by their bespoke Black or White paintwork on both the popular 207CC or 308CC. The 207CC Roland Garros is available in either Onyx Black or Bianca White. There is a choice of either the 1.6-litre VTi 120 petrol or 1.6-litre HDi 112 diesel engine.

NEW LOOK: The 207CC and the 308CC models.


James Yeadon Costa del Sol

Key features over the 207CC Allure include Roland Garros luxury trimmed leather seats, Roland Garros branded windstop and Roland Garros embroided carpet mats. Other distinguishing features include Aluminium door sills, 17” Melbourne

alloy wheels, Bi-Zone air conditioning, an electrochrome rear view mirror, auto headlamps, cruise control and speed limiter, Peugeot Connect with Bluetooth, rear parking aid, electric folding door mirrors and tinted rear windows. The larger 308CC Roland Garros is also distinctive and with pearlescent paintwork in Nera Black and Pearl White.

MINI John Cooper Works GP for road and track WITH the MINI John Cooper Works GP, the British brand has come up with another car of talent designed to deliver performance on both the race track and the road. The sportiest roadregistered MINI ever made will go on sale later this year in a limited run of 2,000 cars. It is currently completing a programme of testing in preparation for series production, part of which has involved setting an impressive fastest lap of the Nürburgring’s Nordschleife circuit (Germany).

RACE TRACK: The car has been inspired by motor sport.

Powered with a wider choice of engines, it is available with the 1.6-litre THP 156 or THP 200 petrol, or the 2.0-litre HDi 163 diesel engines. Key features over the regular Allure model include Roland Garros Luxury Blue/ Grey leather seats, 18” Dark Storm alloy wheels (as GT Hatchback), Peugeot Connect with Bluetooth, front and rear parking aid, automatic headlamps, rain sensing wipers, Roland Garros embroidered carpet mats and a Roland Garros branded windstop. The 207 CC Roland Garros SE is now available to order priced from £18,795 (€23,383) and the 308 CC Roland Garros is priced at £25,845 (€32,157).




24 - 30 May 2012


Lorenzo wins and Stoner announces retirement

By Nick Little Photojournalist

PODIUM LINE-UP: Rossi celebtates 1st podium since joining Ducati, whilst Stoner contemplates his retirement at the end of the season. rubber deposited on parts of the track used by the Famous 24 Heures du Mans car race. The wet, combined with extra grip from a rubbery surface in places, made things very tricky. Not too much of a problem if riders stayed on the racing line. But off that and they might be off the track. At the green light, Dani Pedrosa pulled away only to have fellow countryman Jorge Lorenzo, who had started fourth on the grid, pass all the Hondas in the first lap to take the lead. At the back of the field, in front of his home support, Frenchman Randi De Puniet lost traction

on the slippery asphalt and dumped his bike on the starting grid. Not too disgruntled, De Puniet jumped the pit wall and mounted a second bike to continue racing, only to lose it again six

laps from the end. The wet caused other problems too. Ben Spies of Yamaha had to pull into the pits to change his visor, complaining that it was steaming up inside. Other riders suffered the same saying that the conditions of rain, unpredictable grip, powerful machines, topped off with steaming up visors made things extremely difficult and potentially


IN a pre-race Press conference at the Monster Energy Grand Prix de France, Casey Stoner, announced his retirement from the MotoGP Arena following the final race of the 2012 Championship. Stoner, who will be hunting down his third MotoGP class title this year, commented that he didn’t enjoy it anymore and that he wanted to spend time around his wife, new child and family. When asked by the BBC if he would likely return after a sabbatical, 26-year-old Stoner stated that it was unlikely unless it was made more fun for him, bringing back big two-stroke machines would help, he said. On a weekend plagued with rainy conditions Spaniard Dani Pedrosa managed to clinch pole position ahead of Casey Stoner and Andrea Dovizioso making it Repsol Honda front row start for what might appear to be a dominant Honda race on Sunday. Race day brought very wet and dangerous conditions for the riders as they set off on the historical track of Le Mans. One of the underlying problems, that made tyre strategy decision making tough, was the amount of

SLIPPERY TRACK: Lorenzo navigating the wet conditions.

dangerous. Meanwhile back in the race Jorge Lorenzo was pulling away from the Hondas in a master class of wet race riding. Further back, to the delight of Valentino Rossi fans, Rossi, who started at seventh, was making headway through the field, the wet seeming to sort out the plagued handling problems that Ducati have suffered in the past few couple of years. With the consistent riding combined with the high skills that you would expect from a multi world champion, Rossi eventually passed the Hondas after an epic battle with Stoner to pull into second. Lorenzo took the flag +9.905 seconds ahead of a delighted Rossi, with Stoner nursing his bike home for third. Rossi took his first ever podium in Ducati colours since he joined them from Yamaha at the end of the 2010 season. It was a great result for Briton James Ellison and Paul Bird Motorsport who was fastest in the ART class. Ellison took 11th overall. In the Moto2 Class Briton Scott Redding took third behind Claudio Corti with Thomas Luthi of Interwetten-paddock taking the win. No less than 15 crashes and three retirements occurred in the Moto3 race, turning the race on its head. After the leading riders crashed out, Frenchman Louis Rossi took the win followed by Spaniards Alberto Moncayoa and Alex Rins, making for an unpredicted podium lineup.



Hammers back in top flight WEST HAM are £45m richer, and back in the Premiership, after beating Blackpool 2-1 in the Championship play-off final before a crowd of 78,523 at Wembley. Ricardo Vaz Te scored the winning goal on 87 minutes.

York go up DEMOTED in 2004, York City are back in the FL after defeating Luton in the Blue Square play-off final in front of almost 40,000 fans at the same venue.

Capital final MORE than 51,000 saw Hearts beat Hibs 5-1 in the first allEdinburgh Scottish Cup final since 1896.

England expects IT’S England v Norway in Oslo on Saturday manager Roy Hodgson’s first game in charge. Next Wednesday, Belgium visit Wembley before England kick-off Euro 2012 with a game against France in Donetsk on June 11.

Play-offs THIS weekend, Sheffield United meet Huddersfield and Cheltenham take on Crewe in the League 1 and 2 playoff finals.

New coach WOLVES’ new boss Stale Solbakken, who won five League titles as manager of FC Copenhagen, retired as a player after suffering a cardiac arrest in 2001.

Mallorca 24 – 30 May 2012 Issue 1403  

News in English from Mallorca.

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