RTN Newspaper - Costa Blanca South 2 - 8 March 2018 Issue 958

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Issue 958

2nd - 8th March

Well, love a duck.

Roasted, probably THREE hunters have been fined for shooting ducks out of hours.

They were discovered during a routine inspection at the waterfowl reserve in Crevillente, part of the Santa Pola and El Hondo parks, after several shots were heard coming from inside by specialist officers from SEPRONA. According to reports, a number of hunters gathered together to wait for the scheduled end of hunting hours and then dispersed across the park to shoot.

The 11 ducks seized were taken to a nursing home in Elche where they were eaten by residents.

Georgians arrested in fake ID operation

by Glenn Scott THANKS to an ongoing investigation, since the start of this year 14 people of Georgian nationality have been arrested at Murcia-San Javier Airport with fake documentation. In addition, a man accused of being their alleged trafficker - from L atvia - has also been detained.

According to the National Police who spoke with Spanish media, an investigation had been going on for some time into a suspected criminal organisation that deal in bringing people from Georgia into the countr y. As a rule, they use Madrid- Barajas and El Prat-Barcelona airports for their operation.

After being established in the countr y for a shor t while, the people are moved around to a number of different locations across Spain and placed into hotels.

Once there, they’re given fake ID and passports from Eastern European countries which enable them to travel

INSIDE THIS WEEK ...

COASTAL TAXI AGREEMENT ALMOST EN ROUTE

P4

TRAFFICKED: Latvian national arrested alongside the people being allegedly trafficked into Murcia-San Javier. freely to other European Union countries; it’s understood that both Ireland and the UK are among the most popular final destinations.

The successful operation

has been as a result of close coordination between the National Police at the Murcia-San Javier Airport immigration point and a number of different airlines.

CHILDREN OF THE ARTICHOKE

P13 DISAPPOINTMENT AT CHATTERS

P15

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2nd - 8th March

Timeshare scammers jailed

Alicante hospital to lead cancer fight Photo credit: National Police

NINE British scammers who made almost €1 million in a timeshare racket have been sentenced.

The culprits have been named as Brian Carr, 31, Daniel Carr, 24, Craig Walker, 27, and Brendan Hicks, 28, all from Redditch, Dawn Gingell, 55, from Hampshire, James Barrass, 37, from Norwich, Steven Cross, 37, from Worcester, Matthew Barker, 25, from Bromsgrove, and Alan Sharp, 66, from Norwich.

They must serve a range of prison sentences totalling 20 years after being found guilty of conspiracy to defraud, perverting the course of justice, money laundering and fraudulent trading.

Police say that 470 victims - the majority elderly or sick - were swindled over their properties in expatriate hotspots throughout Spain.

They would receive phone calls falsely advising that a third party was interested in buying their timeshare rights provided they stump up an ‘advance sale fee.’

The gang would later demand more payments when the bogus deals failed to happen.

TIMESHARE SCAM: The gang targeted British people who owned timeshares in Spain and (inset, l-r ) conmen Brendan Hicks, Matthew Barker and Steven Cross.

On many occasions the unsuspecting victims would be hit for a second time as the scammers pretended to work for a range of invented companies.

They even pretended to be Spanish police officials, forcing targets to pay a third fee

to have their money returned.

The group reportedly made more than €986,000 from the ruse, and opened up a number of fake companies and bank accounts to hide their activity.

Detective Inspector Emma

Wright of Warwickshire Police said: “These scammers targeted some of the most vulnerable people in our society in a deliberate and cynical campaign of fraud.

“I am pleased that the offenders have been brought before the courts.”

SAN JUAN hospital in Alicante will become the technological centre of the Alicante Province in the ongoing fight against cancer.

Over the next two years, the Oncology department will receive more than €10 million to renew and acquire a selection of state-of-the-art equipment to assist with the diagnosis and subsequent treatment of tumours.

The investment comes jointly from the Ministry of Health and the Amancio Ortega Foundation.

Amancio Ortega is a businessman from Galicia whose aim in life is to improve the treatment of people suffering from cancer. He has donated €6 million towards the overall amount.

The San Juan hospital has been operating for 27 years and has been recognised as one of the best dedicated cancer hospitals. This latest investment is seen as taking their excellence to a higher level to take advantage of the innovations in cancer-treating technology in recent years.

One of the pieces of modern equipment due to be installed are two linear accelerators (known as LINAC) and the devices most commonly used for external beam radiation treatments for patients with cancer.

The linear accelerator is used to deliver highenergy x-rays or electrons to the patient’s tumour, with minimal damage to healthy tissue.

In the Valencian Community, 20,100 cases of cancer are diagnosed each year, and it is currently the leading cause of death in Spain.

2nd - 8th March Photo credit: Guardia Civil

RECOVERED: An Aladdin’s cave of goods discovered after arrests.

Family gang of robbers detained

by Glenn Scott A SUSPECTED criminal gang comprising five peop l e - fo u r o f w h i c h c o m e from the same family have been arrested by the Guardia Civil in Torrevieja in connection with a number of different crimes.

The five - a 50-year-old Moroccan woman, a 33year-old Spanish woman, and three Algerian men aged 52, 22 and 20 - are believed to be behind seven burglaries from homes, the theft of a car, driving without a licence and criminal damage.

Including the two vehicles stolen, more than â‚Ź100,000 wor th of goods has been recovered.

Urbanisation L a Siesta suffered the bulk of the robberies during last December and the items stolen ranged from cars to jewellery to mobile phones to pairs of socks.

During the investigation a patter n was discovered that the crimes took place at the same time and days of the week. When the Guardia Civil carried out a sur veillance operation, it was at these times that the same group of people were roaming the area but

using different vehicles.

Their alleged modus operandi was to watch houses over a number of days and working out their routines. W hen ever yone was out, they entered the proper ty by jumping over walls or fe n c e s a n d fo rc e d e n t r y, always between 11am and 2pm.

Guardia Civil officers eventually identified each

member of the gang and raided their homes, with a gun being found in one of the properties.

It was quickly confirmed t h at t h e w e a p o n w a s n o t used in any of the robberies.

All five were detained in Torrevieja before being rel e a s e d o n b a i l e xce p t fo r the 52- year-old man who was sent straight to prison pending trial.

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Taxi agreement almost en route

Thousands of historical artefacts intercepted Photo credit: Ayuntamiento de Orihuela

AS part of a worldwide operation by the World Customs Organisation (WCO), 20,000 pieces of archaeological interest have been recovered in Murcia.

The collaboration between the WCO and Interpol has arrested 101 people in 81 countries that include Spain. An overall total of 41,000 works of art and other artefacts have been discovered.

The largest find in Spain was as a result of Operation Pandora II carried out in Murcia by the Guardia Civil during October and December 2017. All of the thousands of pieces uncovered are of great educational value as well as being worth a great deal of money, some regarded as priceless. Many range from prehistoric times through to the Middle Ages.

What the operation did discover was the amount of illegal trading of such items that takes place on the internet. Around 7,000 of the objects were found via this means and accounted for almost 20 per cent of the total recovered. In Spain itself, more than 230 websites were examined that contained 4,300 objects. Of these, 65 different violations were uncovered.

Photo credit: Guardia Civil

NO WAITING: Shared taxi routes should reduce summer tourist queues.

IN an attempt to prevent long queues of tourists, especially in the peak summer season, an agreement has been signed for a joint taxi ser vice operated by drivers in Torrevieja and Orihuela.

The accord was announced by Orihuela Councillor Begoña Cuartero, who, speaking to

Spanish media said: “If the town halls and taxi associations of both municipalities agree, the Taxi Law approved last October, allows for a joint service area to be created, as long as there is reciprocal interaction between the taxi services of the municipalities involved, or it is in the general interest.”

If it comes into operation following further meetings between drivers’ representatives, local councils and the Valencian Community Government, it would see taxis going from Torrevieja to Orihuela - and vice-versa to pick up passengers to return to their own base; something that would’ve been previously unheard of.

Cuartero also emphasised that because there is a higher demand for taxis on the Orihuela Costa during the tourism increase in summer, the initiative avoids having twice as many vehicles on the roads.

Not will this reduce traffic jams and improve road safety, it can only provide a better all-round service.

ANCIENT BOOTY: Murcia part of worldwide operation.

2nd - 8th March

Dangerous dogs lead to drugs find

by Lynn Whittaker LOC AL POLICE from Elche had a bonus find aft e r t h e y w e re c a l l e d t o a farm in Torrellano.

Originally, they visited the farm to follow up a number of complaints from local residents about potentially dangerous dogs on the premises... but ended up finding 400 marihuana plants.

As they arrived and prepared to speak with the owner to ask for any documentation connected with the dogs, they picked up the strong and unmistakable smell of marihuana which hadn’t previously been detected.

T h i s w a s p ro b a b l y d u e to the relative isolation of the property.

Police then questioned the man about the smell who immediately stopped his previous collaboration with their inquiries and denied any criminal activity on the premises. Moments later, the National

Suspected Torrevieja rapist arrested

by Ray Chadwick

Credit: @policiaelche Twitter

OVERPOWERING: Smell led officers to marihuana cultivation.

Po l i ce w e re o n t h e s ce n e ing, fans and other equipand using special equipment dedicated to large ment were able to de tect scale cultivation of the the presence of certain air drug. treatment devices that are The electricity supply to common in the growing of the farm was immediately marihuana. cut off via a legal enforceFollowing a scuff le ment, and the three dogs that included one of the that were the subject of officers being head-butted the original inter vention - a search of the farm have been taken into the took place and 440 mar icare of the Animal Protechuana plants were found torate due to a lack of alongside specialist lightdocumentation.

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OFFICERS from the Guardia Civil have detained a man in Torrevieja suspected of raping a 32-year-old woman from Belgium.

The original incident was widely reported after the woman was attacked a few weeks ago while she was out walking her dog in the early hours.

The man - a Moroccan aged 27 - began speaking to her and as she was on holiday didn’t understand what he was saying... so she

kept walking. At that point, he grabbed her arm and then raped her.

During the attack, a number of other people appeared from nowhere to steal some of her personal effects including her mobile phone - and took advantage of her predicament. It’s not known if these people had any connection with the Moroccan man or whether they were just passing-by at the time of the attack. In any case, police are continuing to search for them.

The woman was

eventually able to give the Guardia Civil a detailed description of her attacker, but not the thieves, and they began their investigation; part of which involved them observing a number of late night clubs.

After making a shortlist of suspects, further inquiries led them to arrest the man that has since been sent to prison awaiting trial.

During the arrest operation, officers found the exact same hat that had been perfectly described by the Belgian victim.

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2nd - 8th March

Parking restrictions for town centre Photo credit: Ayuntamiento de Rafal

THE municipality of Rafal has established a new by-law that will in future limit parking to just 20 minutes on its main street.

As from March, car parking i n t h e c e n t re o f t o w n w i l l favour the local residents and re g ular suppliers and will be free... but fines could be imposed if the system is abused.

Speaking to Spanish media, C o u n c i l l o r F ra n c i s c o G a rc i a said that the area shouldn’t be t re a t e d a s “ a p a r k i n g p l a c e where a vehicle can be left all d ay ” a n d t h u s s p e c i a l t i m e c a rd s h av e b e e n c re a t e d fo r those who wish to shop in the area for a maximum of 20 minutes.

Each driver will have a card that must be displayed on the dashboard after parking their car. Disabled drivers will have special dispensation to be able to park for 40 minutes.

T he areas affected by these n e w re g u l a t i o n s a re C a l l e Miguel Hernandez, Calle Mar-

CARD CONTROL: Parking restrictions to favour Rafal locals and businesses. ques de R afal and Avenida L a Libertad and the stretch from Calle Lepanto to Calle Marques de Valdesevilla. In effect, this will become a ‘ blue zone ’ but without any charges involved.

Rafal Council will provide the special cards to all drivers who are registered in the municipality, while the shops will be able to distribute the cards for their o w n e m p l o y e e s t o u s e o r fo r

their delivery drivers.

The ‘free blue zone’ will operate on Monday to Friday from 8am to 2pm and 5pm to 8pm.

S a t u rd ay s f ro m 8 a m t o 2 p m and Sundays free.

Cross-border serial criminal located A 40-YEAR-OLD Spanish man has been arrested in Torrevieja after almost four years on the run.

An arrest warrant had been issued by a court in Palencia on the man back in 2014, after his alleged involvement in a string of thefts with force.

The man - detained by the Guardia Civil from Alicante - had an extensive criminal history and was released from prison in Spain in 2013. He then moved into neighbouring Portugal to continue his criminal career.

After committing a number of crimes there, he then decided to return to Spain - specifically to Torrevieja - where he then carried out one further crime.

It came to light during this investigation that this was the same man wanted for arrest and imprisonment and so officers began to devote all their efforts to locating the fugitive.

They concentrated their efforts in Torrevieja and, following a series of complicated inquiries that included tracing the man’s relatives, a detailed search of the area was made. However, his family and friends began to protect him and allegedly threatened any stranger that came by the house he was supposedly hiding in.

He was eventually found and arrested, even though he tried to flee through a window.

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Another one to man the pumps ORGANISED: Santa Pola to get more regulated parking zones. (File image)

Dog walkers to get their own car park

by Ray Chadwick SANTA POLA Town Council is continuing with its long-term project to build a number of official car parking zones that replace areas where drivers previously just left their cars in a haphazard way.

The latest car park will serve the designated ‘dog beach’ opened in 2016 that allows owners to take their animals for their daily exercise in the area around the Cabo de Santa Pola.

Specifically, the parking area will be in the area known as the Cala dels Gossets and located in the east of Santa Pola.

Work began a few days ago with the formal

stakes placed in the ground and the removal of some bushes and weeds that currently occupy the chosen area. Even though the car park will not be paved or covered in tarmac, there will a capacity for 50 vehicles. This will include five that can be used by motorhomes in a specially cordoned off section.

Once this project is completed, the Santa Pola Council plan to refurbish the parking areas on both Playa Ermita and the Bancal de l’Arena... the latter being an area of special protection.

The overall aim of these initiatives is to prevent overcrowding of the parking areas in the high season and to regulate their use instead.

Ayuntamiento de Torrevieja

Gonzalo Losada Wikimedia

TORREVIEJA’S councillor for Security and the Emergency Services, Javier Manzanares, has announced a number of improvements to the municipality fire station.

Among the most significant is an addition of one more firefighter to be deployed on a daily basis, taking the new complement to eight.

Councillor Manzanares has described the decision as “very important” that it has managed to increase the number and said following the latest recruitment drive it takes the total of firefighters now employed at the station to 57.

Other improvements

LICK OF PAINT: Torrevieja Fire Station to get a new coat...and a new fire-fighter

announced will see both the inside and outside of the fire station completely repainted, as well as the emergency helipad that serves fire, police, paramedic and the Guardia Civil.

It has also been announced that some-

thing that has been sought after for many years has now been achieved; and that is Torrevieja Fire Station being declared as one of the principal stations in the province. Such a status has been a historic claim by the Torrevieja firefighters.

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2nd - 8th March

Trees to have injections Photo credit: Arbor Systems YouTube

ALFAS DEL PI has set up a team to treat a wide range of trees and plants located in the municipality against a number of destructive pests and other harmful diseases.

Described as being ‘the most innovative in plant treatment’, the technique used stands out as being respectful to the trees and palms without affecting the surrounding environment as with other older methods.

The scheme was outlined

by Councillor Oscar Perez who explained that the municipality has acquired a direct injection kit - appropriately named ‘ Wedgle Direct-Inject’ and produced

by ArborSystems - that enables a substance to be injected directly into the trunk. This is then distributed through the tree’s own vascular system without the need for a drill that can damage the greenery.

DIRECT: Safer tree treatment gets right to the problem.

The new treatment also has the advantage of being able to exactly focus on the problem areas and thus avoid the previous indiscriminate actions.

The kit allows all types of pests to be attacked and according to a spokesperson from the company behind the product, Ramon Redon from ArborSystems in Eu-

rope, is suitable for treating plants and trees in all public areas such as schools, parks and gardens without fear of affecting their health of the people that use them.

Alfas del Pi has invested €3,500 in the kit that is planned to be used on more than 3,000 specimens that make up the municipal tree population.

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Photo credit: Diego Delso Wikimedia COVERAGE: Free Wi-Fi shortly available to all parts of the Alicante General Hospital.

Making the hospital stay more comfortable

by Mark Rogers PATIENTS and visitors to the Alicante General Hospital will be able to keep in touch with themselves and the world at large once free Wi-Fi has been installed.

The service is already in operation in the paediatric unit on the fourth and fifth f loors of the hospital as part of the first phase.

Speaking to the Spanish media about the initiative, hospital manager Miguel

Angel Garcia said: “This will allow patients to make their stay with us much more enjoyable, using their mobile phones and tablets as if they were in the comfort of their own homes and with no additional cost.”

The whole point of both phases of the project has been to make access to the network as simple as possible to connect and with a fast speed.

A series of tests were carried out during January to

ensure that the connections were stable, especially with the predicted popularity of the new and free service.

The Wi-Fi system will be available across the remainder of the hospital within the next few weeks, giving them 100 per cent coverage.

Part of the testing was to ensure that the extra online traffic generated by the free Wi-Fi didn’t affect the sister network used internally between the hospital staff.

2nd - 8th March Photo credit: @aytoredovan Twitter

COMMEMORATION: Vega Baja schoolchildren preparing the famous vegetable.

Children of the artichoke MORE than 2,000 schoolchildren from across the Vega Baja have celebrated the ‘Day of the Artichoke’.

Part of the day - held on February 22 - allowed the young students to be handson in a number of initiatives that included a series of cooking workshops... of course using the revered local vegetable as the prime ingredient.

Sponsored by Caja Rural Central, the participating children were aged between six and 10 and had been chosen from a dozen schools in Almoradi, Callosa de Segura, Cox, Dolores and Orihuela.

The day was officially opened with a symbolic cutting of the artichokes growing in the San Bartolome school in Orihuela, where

200 students transformed their classroom to a 100 per cent dedicated artichoke centre.

Alongside some of the delicious dishes being created using the vegetable of the day, there have been a number of tours to the gardens, to learn in great detail every aspect of the artichoke and how it’s cultivated.

Joaquin Ortuño, a director of the Vega Baja Artichoke Association, thanked the school community for their support on the day and hoped that it would be a first step to it being a regular part of the school calendar.

“We mark our local fiestas and Halloween, so why not make February 22 - Artichoke Day - a firm fixture in the Vega Baja region, which

More lifesavers announced ON a week-by-week basis across many areas of the Costa Blanca, there is an announcement of another municipality adding to the growing list of those making lifesaving defibrillators available.

This time, it’s Orihuela Council that has given their green light to the installation of 35 defibrillators across various municipal buildings.

The rental contract for the equipment is €45,229 per year and will last for five years, including the costs of maintenance and associated training.

will also pay homage to Cardinal Belluga who died on this date and who was such an important figure in this sector.”

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Electric fraud on the up THE number of people illegally hacking into the electric network across the Alicante Province has shown a significant increase over a

12-month period.

During 2017, there was a jump of 28 per cent compared to the previous year’s data, with many of the latest offenders caught thanks to the installation

of smart meters that are less easy to manipulate with their extra security features.

Mainly discovered by electric company Iberdrola, 8,200 cases were opened in respect of fraud during the year, with many of them due to a sudden and significant decrease in the amount of electricity used, which rang the alarm bells.

Of the 35,964 inspections carried out across the Alicante Province during 2017 by all the electricity supply companies, 8,189 were discovered to be defrauding the system.

This compares to 5,941 in the previous year and is concentrated in the residential market and the industrial sector (96.8 per cent).

Only 1.2 per cent of the hacked-into energy was connected to very low income or vulnerable families.

Some of the highest incidences of fraudulent use of

Photo credit: ricky woods YouTube

by Glenn Scott

MANIPULATED: Hijacked electric jumps across the Alicante Province. the electric supply have been found in Elche where it’s become quite a common practice.

Both the Elche City Council and the Valencian Community government have become involved with

the situation; such are the prevalence of cases.

The electricity companies have been quick to inform people that illegal connections to their networks and the manipulation of the meters can result in a high

risk of injury or worse.

In addition, they also warn that such deception simply results, eventually, in electricity price increases for everyone, since the illegally consumed power has to be paid for somehow.

2nd - 8th March

Disappointment at Chatters Photo credit: Chatters

FOR the first time since the organisation was founded, a planned guest speaker for the February meeting failed to turn up to address the assembled members.

As a result, Chatters have arranged an extra day for March and therefore on March 9, the speaker will by Anthony Horadada.

As well as being a regular supporter of Help At Home, he has been seen on TV in Benidorm - both in the past and in future episodes - as well as Bargain Loving Brits in the Sun. He has a very interesting and entertaining story to tell.

The usual monthly Chatters meeting will be on March 21 featuring a return visit by the N-332 police group as they continue with their advice on how to travel safely in Spain.

Las Claras Centre in Los Narejos, Los Alcazares will be the venue for both meetings and free refreshments will be available between 10.15am

EXTRA GUEST: Benidorm familiar face Anthony Horadada promises to be entertaining.

and 10.45am ahead of an 11am start. After both meetings, there’ll be ample time for questions and answers.

Chatters is sponsored and funded by the local charity Help At Home. Everybody is welcome and there is no membership or entrance fee.

Simply turn up, enjoy the meetings, and perhaps make some new friends.

You can find out more about Help at Home, as well as their activities, on Facebook: HAH (Help At Home) Mar Menor, or by visiting the website www.helpathome.es.

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Popular post on Facebook reaching 3,250 people with 39 reactions

ACCESS to both the Moncayo and Campico beaches in Guardamar has almost been completed.

The new wooden bridge and walkways have been put into place following years of complaints from local people in urbanisations Moncayo and Portico Mediterraneo, especially from the elderly and disabled, who struggle getting to the beach from the nearby N-332.

The plan is to open the new construction in time for the traditional influx of visitors for Holy Week at the end of the month. Not only will it be easier to get to the beach, less damage to the dunes will take place from the thousands of people who would usually walk over them.

Repair work in Villajoyosa denied due to bird nests Michael Howard-Jones House Martins’ nests are protected too Sarah Carlyle Rightly so!

Murcia benefits from new shopping law L AST Sunday saw the introduction of changes to the shopping laws throughout the Valencian Community, with some of the major shopping centres having to close their doors after four years of being allowed to open seven days a week.

In the RTN south coverage area, this particularly affected the Zenia Boulevard in the Orihuela Costa and the Habaneras Centre in Torrevieja.

However, it didn’t dissuade the deter mined shopper from their Sunday regular retail therapy, as they simply drove into the neighbouring Murcia region and spent their euro notes there instead. And so, similar large shopping centres in San Javier and Cartagena benefited as a consequence of the anomaly in the law... the Murcia region isn’t affected by the changes.

The nearest competition

Photo credit: Eddy Johnstone Flickr

HAVE YOUR SAY

New beach access ready for Easter

NEAREST: Dos Mares in San Javier reaps the benefit of the Sunday closure laws.

comes from the Dos Mares shopping centre in San Javier that is only 15 kilometres down the coast from Zenia Boulevard and only 30 minutes from Torrevie j a and 10 minutes from Pilar de la Horadada.

Modifications to the Va-

@RTNNewspaper Most liked posts from this week • Gibraltar brought back into the Brexit arena by Spain

• UK Government to propose expat voting rights • Repair work in Villajoyosa denied due to bird nests • Costa del Clean: Green solution for street maintenance

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• Benidorm association demands clampdown on fake goods

lencian Community trading law now limits opening to 40 Sundays and on fiesta days during Holy Week and between June 15 and the first Sunday in January.

Local and smaller businesses that have been most affected by the economic crisis saw the move as a positive one as explained by Orihuela-based trade association ACMO. President Daniel Hernandez said: “In the past four years we lost many customers who, instead of buying during the week , saved their shopping for Sund ay and the small shops suffered.”

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Bar owners accept closure process ACCORDING to reports contained in parts of the Spanish media, the company that owns two of the three bars that were shut down last summer by the Torrevieja Council has pulled out of the process to appeal against the decision.

The order to close them down came after it was discov-

ered that none of them held any official municipal licences since opening in 2009.

The owner of the two bars in the Rocio del Mar was planning to appeal back in October, but it’s recently come to light that no formal paperwork has been lodged, thus bringing the matter to a close.

Waste containers get a new look CALLOSA Municipal Council will be spending more than €100,000 to renew their network of underground waste containers.

Councillor Ruben Manresa said that the works are currently under way on Calle Vicente Molins and will continue afterwards on Rambla Baja, Paseo de la Estacion, Salitre, Pedro Aragones, Glorieta, Plaza de San Adrian and Calvario.

The rubbish and waste collection service is now being run by the municipality.

TRBL Torrevieja THE next meeting of the Torrevieja branch of The Royal British Legion (TRBL) will be next Friday at Casa Ventura, San Luis. After the meeting singer and guitarist Danny Ray will be playing music from the 60’s and 70’s. All are welcome and you do not need to be ex-services to be a member of the TRBL.

Association of Retired Police Officers ARPO THE association meet on the second Wednesday of the month at Sackos bar El Limonar Torrevieja at 10.30am They wish to extend a warm welcome to all

serving and retired officers, their spouses and partners. For further information go to their website at www.arpo.org.uk or email the secretary on arpocostablancasouth@gmail.com.

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Advertising Feature

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Photo Credit: Laure l

by Michael Walsh

keyboardcosmetics@gmail.com THE British electorate, are constantly cheated, scorned and taken for fools by their self-styled lords and masters.

The latest insult is a peer’s impudent demand that the retired elderly should do community work or lose their pensions.

Lord Bichard, or Baron Bichard to you serfs, has never been employed in a proper job. A career politician, he retired at 54 after a lifetime spent in local government. Bichard’s family background and his personal life are off the radar.

Another of your betters is Professor Martin Weale who said the peer ‘makes an interesting point.’ This number-crunching parasite is a member of the Bank of England’s Monetary Policy Committee.

When it was suggested to the peer that it might be difficult to sell the idea to the plebs the baron sneered, “It was difficult to sell education tuition fees to them too.”

The General Secretary of the National Pensioners Convention says: “His suggestion amounts to little more than national service for the over 60’s and is

2nd - 8th March

21

Lodged Wikimedia

Taken for mugs absolutely outrageous.”

Dot Gibson adds, “Those who have paid their national insurance contributions for 30 or more years are entitled to receive their state pension and there should be no attempt to put further barriers in their way. We already have one of the lowest state pensions in Europe and one in five older people in Britain live below the poverty line.”

Baron Bichard says “Older people should lose their pensions if they refuse to do community work, to stop them being a negative burden on society. The elderly should get rewards and fines to make sure they are taking a

more active part in the world.”

Presumably, such conscripted labour will wait hand and foot on illegal immigrants in refugee hostels. The less able can knit their woollies for them.

The brazen toff suggested the same tough attitude towards benefit scroungers should be taken with the elderly retired. He forgets that the most brazen benefit bandits infest parliament and the so-called Lords.

With considerable chutzpah he adds, “We’re prepared to say to people if you’re not looking for work, you don’t get a benefit. If you’re old and you’re not contributing in some way, maybe

there should be some penalty attached to that. These debates never seem to take place.”

Let the words of James Larkin sink in: “The great only appear great because we are on our knees. Let us rise.”

Larkin, an Irish revolutionary, died in 1947. Obviously, we plebeians took not a blind bit of notice. Still on our knees, are we not deserving of our miserable existence. Our fate is self-inflicted; we could change it but we won’t. Unsurprisingly, those who consider us steerage class keep spitting into our faces.

Mike Walsh’s opinions are his own and do not necessarily represent the views of the publishers advertisers or sponsors.

STATUE OF JAMES LARKIN: Outside Dublin GPO.

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2nd - 8th March

by Colin Bird

SINCE packing away my directorial baton and discontinuing my theatrical activities, it has been five long years of having nothing to do each evening other than entertaining friends at al fresco nights spent around the garden bar (sigh).

Sampling an assortment of unfamiliar wines found in far flung bodegas (yawn), discovering interesting new restaurants (ho hum), or simply curled up during the winter months, catching up with must-see movies on our wide screen TV. It’s been a hard slog.

But once again I find myself dusting off the beat-up fedora hat and Dr Who scarf, and brandishing my Malacca silver-tipped cane in order to direct two of four plays that are to be performed at the beginning of March in Benijofar.

I have, in all seriousness, enjoyed the freedom from rehearsal nights, but equally seriously I now realise, I have missed the feelings of anticipation and adrenaline rush that begins as opening night approaches. And because I

Break a leg Photo Credit: Anthony Rauchen Wikimedia

The opinions published in Colin’s weekly column are not necessarily representative of those of the publishers, advertisers or newspaper sponsors.

THE JOY OF THEATRE: All the world’s a stage.

am a new boy with the drama group ACTS, the prospect of making new friends is also appealing and very welcome.

It’s the actors that receive the plaudits after each successful production run, and rightly so, but there is a deep

sense of fulfilment and even exhilaration as a director, to watch your ideas interpreted into the finished article on stage.

In any case, being a basically shy and introverted individual, I prefer to remain in the background. What?

Having been involved with am-dram for 20 years in the UK, which included writing and directing, it was a conscious decision not to inflict on myself the arduous job of learning lines once I retired and moved to Spain, and so I made up my mind to concentrate solely on direction. And apart from the odd sketch, that’s exactly what I have done.

There was a strong element of laziness in that decision I have to admit, but although I do not profess to be another Trevor Nunn or Peter Hall, I also came to realise that directing, as opposed to treading the boards, gave me a much deeper sense of satisfaction and made me think that perhaps in another life ...?

DUETS, a collection of four one-act plays by Peter Quilter will be staged at the Benijofar Cultural Centre on Thursday, Friday and Saturday. Curtain up 7.30pm.

Tickets are €8 and are available by phoning: 646 277 724 or emailing: tickets.acts@gmail.com.

Also in person from: The Card Shop, Benimar, Redz, Quesada. Cards & More, La Marina. Catorce Restaurant, Benijofar and The Post Box, Doña Pepa.

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Present perfect practice IT´S always an interesting challenge finding ways of practising the language that we learn.

Here is a piece of text I wrote a couple of years ago which is a summary of that year. It was written in December which is a time when everyone takes stock of the past year, including the television channels. It’s when they tell you that soand-so died this summer and you are absolutely amazed because you thought he’d been dead at least 10 years already.

So here is my own summary of the year, but I hasten to add that this is not going to be an exercise in translation or any other kind of boring revision. All you have to do is read it, and hopefully you will understand every, or nearly every, word. That’s the idea, anyway.

Este año he trabajado mucho, como siempre.

Ha sido más difícil porque la gente tiene muchos problemas económicos ahora, por la famosa ‘crisis’. Mis hijas han estudiado en el instituto y han aprobado sus exámenes excepto uno o dos que siempre causan dificultades. Una

Basic Spanish for everyday needs

by Jane Cronin

de mis hijas ha viajado a Sudamérica para visitar a su padre y mi otra hija ha trabajado en un supermercado para ganar dinero y para tener experiencia de trabajo.

Este año no he visitado Gales, donde vive mi madre, pero mi madre ha venido España. Ha pasado una semana con nosotras en San Pedro, durante Semana Santa. Vamos a visitar a mi madre en Gales el año que viene, probablemente por una semana. Vamos a Londres también para visitar a mi hermana. Mis hijas no conocen Londres mucho, así que es una buena oportunidad para ellas.

Mi gata ha tenido un año muy normal. Ha comido, ha dormido, ha comido, ha dormido, ha comido, ha dormido.

Este otoño ha sido una época un poco complicada para mí. He decidido cambiar mi forma de trabajar. He cerrado mi academia en San Pedro y he llevado mis cursos y otros eventos a diferentes sitios. El año que viene voy a seguir haciendo lo mismo.

Así que, quizás un día nos veremos por allí.

My life has moved on a little since that was written, but I notice that ‘la crisis’ is still affecting us all! Let’s hope it comes to an end soon!

‘Ojalá que termine pronto’.

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25

money

by Darren Parmenter

The bank of Granny and Granddad gets bigger Photo credit: @_ju1_ Twitter

USING the ‘Bank of Mum and Dad’ is an oft-used phrase. In the Alicante Province, that practice skips a generation as it’s estimated that in more than 14,000 homes the Grandparents are the sole financial providers.

The figure has doubled since the crisis began in Spain a decade ago when there were around 7,000 families in such a state.

The situation is exacerbated with Spanish pensioners demonstrating in their thousands about what they call the ‘ridiculous’ rise of 0.25 per cent for this year. For the average pensioner, this equates to less than €2 per month.

Speaking to the Spanish media, one Alicante-based pensioner - aged 67 - talked of their current plight. “My son is unemployed and with our pension we give him the support he needs. We help

DEMANDS: Pensioners showing their contempt for recent rises.

him put food in his fridge, which is soon empty. Quite often, our Grandchildren come to us for a meal.”

In effect, the Grandchildren virtually live with their Grandparents, as their Father’s monthly unemployment benefit of €400 hardly covers his monthly expenses. The Grandfather’s pension of €1,000 is partly used to subsidise the rest of the family in these difficult times.

Another 74-year-old pensioner in Alicante said she and her husband have to help their son who had lost his job, only to be taken on again as a part-time worker.

“He now only gets €600 a month. How can you raise a family on that?” said his concerned mother. “We have no alternative but to help him from my husband’s pension of about €800 that he worked 45 years to get.

“We also help our Grandson with some of his day-today expenses as a student.

“We do worry about the future for our young people.”

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27

legal

Q

I have a house in the UK. It is not rented out, but we use it when we go back to visit family.

Do I need to do this declaration – model 720 - For assets overseas?

What happens if I don’t do this?

A

The modelo 720 is a declaration of assets that as a resident of Spain, who has assets overseas that amount to or exceed 50,000€ you must declare.

These overseas assets fit into any of the three groups Bank Accounts All types of financial assets Real estate; Valuation: Acquisition cost

by IGNACIO PELLICER MOLLÁ & PEDRO HEREDIA ORTIZ

LAWYERS

Failure to meet this tax liability might be penalised by the Spanish tax.

If you require further legal advice on any legal or administrative matters please contact Pellicer&Heredia Lawyers & Tax Advisors who will be pleased to help you.

For more information call us on 965 480737 or e-mail info@pellicerheredia.com.

At Pellicer & Heredia we can help you with all the legal aspects of building your own home, and if you’re not in Spain we can do all the paperwork on your behalf. For more information on this or any other legal matter please contact us by email info@pellicerheredia.com or by telephone 965 480 737

28

2nd - 8th March

food & drink This week Celebrity Chef from Ready Steady Cook & Master Chef Steven Saunders, proprietor of The Little Geranium in La Cala shows us how to make the perfect tempura, a great option for a Mother’s Day family lunch.

Tasty tempura

Steven Saunders FMCGB The Little Geranium La Cala de Mijas & Marbella

www.thelittlegeranium.com WITH Mother’s Day looming and many restaurants already fully booked (we still have some tables!) I’m going to start sharing with you some ideas for a family lunch

Tempura ingredients: • • • • •

Plain flour: 100g Egg: 1 Cold water: 200cc Baking Soda: 1 teaspoon Potato Starch: 2 tablespoons

at home, both this week and next.

My first thought was a sharing dish, a tempura is a delicious dish that you can do with large prawns or vegetables or both mixed.

It works really well with mushrooms and asparagus for example. The reason I’ve picked this recipe is because whenever I prepare tempura for my cookery school my students flag it up as one of the things that they have loved cooking and eating the most.

The first time that I ever cooked a tempura was in Bangkok. I was on my honeymoon (with my first wife) and we were sitting by the pool. I got up and wandered off. I spotted a chef and walked over to

him and told him that I was a chef and I asked about the food he was cooking.

He said come in the kitchen later on and I’ll show you. So I booked to go in that afternoon but forgot to tell my wife as she was so engrossed with sunbathing.

When I got into the kitchen I was given a jacket to wear and told to help the lady chef make a tempura batter. I whisked the flour and water until it was silky smooth, she shouted at me … “No! You need lump.” “What?” I said ... “Lump … must have lump, better for wegetables” and she poured more flour in and mixed it with long chopsticks.

She was right because the little flour lumps in the batter make the tempura in-

teresting with little crispy pieces surrounding each prawn or the vegetable. I honestly had not understood what she was saying, I was only 23 bless. Every time I mix a tempura I hear her shouting.. “You need lump!”

Anyway when I got back to the pool, Sally (my ex) said “Where the hell have you been? I’ve been looking everywhere for you! Once a chef always a chef.” No wonder the marriage didn’t work!

This is a great sharing dish ideal for a family lunch starter, quick and easy to prepare. You could put a large dish of tempura prawns and vegetables in the centre of the table with a variety of dips and let everyone get on with it. Perfect!

Or • Optional and easier • 200g of tempura flour (from most supermarkets) • 200cc of iced cold sparkling water • Seasoning

• A few cubes of ice • A tablespoon of olive oil • Your choice of vegetables, seafoods and mushrooms such as aubergine, onion, capsicum, green beans, carrot, okra, asparagus, prawn, white fish and squid.

• Oil (sunflower or corn for frying)

• Cut into the underneath of each prawn with a small incision to stop the prawn curling up when you fry it • Toss prepared prawns/ vegetables in flour (any flour) first until completely coated

Make the tempura batter • Mix plain flour, baking soda and potato starch together and then sift mixed flour as preparation.

• Crack an egg into the bowl and beat it roughly. Add the cold water and mix them.

• Put 1/3 mixed flour in to egg mixture and gently mix. Long cooking chop sticks are the best utensil for mixing tempura batter. If you do not have them, use a fork instead.

• Then add an additional 1/3 flour and mix.

• And finally add the last 1/3 flour and mix.

• Alternatively use the pre-mix tempura flour and add the cold sparkling water, some ice cubes and seasoning and the olive oil • Important: Lumps in the flour is fine. Do not mix it too much as you will get a lot of gluten which makes it heavy and creates an ‘un-crispy’ tempura batter.

Prepare the ingredients Use the freshest ingredients you can find and cut them into pieces roughly the same size to avoid uneven cooking.

Prawn preparation • Take off the head and shell, but keep the tail.

• Remove the vein.

Frying the prawns / vegetables • Heat the fryer or a pan/wok of vegetable oil to 190C • Take the prawns from the flour and dip them into the prepared tempura batter holding onto the tail • Put them one by one into the hot fryer and move the basket (or move the prawns with a slotted spoon) to avoid them sticking together • Fry for one minute until golden • Drain onto tissue paper • Season with salt and some mixed spices (optional) • Serve on plate with various dips.

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29

Rebel with no pause by Barry Duke

ONE phrase guaranteed to send me into a frenzy when I was a teenager was ‘you can whistle for that.’ It invariably came after my parents flatly refused me things I desperately wanted: an Elvis haircut, stovepipe pants, winkle-picker shoes, tattoos, a motorbike and anything else that would make me stand out as a pocket-sized hoodlum.

The main reason those words annoyed me so much was because I simply could not whistle. As much as wanting to look like a rebel, I craved the capacity to do what my best friend Douglas Brown could. With a thumb and middle finger in his mouth, he could emit a sound loud enough to splinter glass.

My yearning to acquire a talent for whistling was matched only by my desire to

lodge a cigarette behind one ear. However, nature, rather than my parents, militated against me in that regard.

While all my friends had small, sexy lugs nestling close to their skulls and could thus snugly accommodate fags, my ears protruded to such a degree that I could probably have parked a carton of Lucky Strikes in either cleft and still have space for a couple of Crunchie bars. I looked like a Mini Cooper with its doors wide open.

Why would I want to put a cigarette behind one ear? Because I reckoned it looked cool.

(Today it’s dismissed as chavvy.) But growing one’s hair long in the 60’s was a pretty cool thing to do too, so that’s what I did to disguise my ostentatious flaps.

This, of course, was also regarded as an act of rebellion, but I cared not a jot because my hero then was James Dean, and although I looked nothing like him, I was determined to emulate his bad boy, to-hell-with-authority attitude.

I should have grown out of that phase, but never did. Instead the rebellious streak in me widened. They say that once one passes 40, your narrow waist and broad mind change places, but in my case that never happened.

“The trouble with you,” a young fogey told

WHISTLING: Not easy for everyone. me when I hit 63 and was doing 230 pressups in 20-minute sessions, three times a week in a gym, “is that you’re an adolescent trapped in a man’s body.”

He was right, of course. And this was confirmed this week when my boyhood frustration at not being able to whistle came roaring back when I was out walking our dogs Bijou and Fifi in a nearby field.

One of my Spanish neighbours let his dog off the leash and it took off into the woods like a missile. Ignacio let loose a piercing whistle and the animal stopped dead in its tracks and came bounding back.

“That’s it,” I snarled and rushed back to my desk to see what the internet had to say about learning to whistle. To my delight I discovered YouTube has a number of tutorials.

But by far the best was created by Andy Ino, a VERY attractive young man with small, sexy ears, who entertainingly demonstrates

precisely how to emit the perfect whistle.

Alas, my elation was short-lived. Despite spending 30 minutes curling my tongue, folding back my lips and putting two fingers in my mouth, all I could produce were sounds that suggested a severe asthma attack, and bewildered looks from our pooches.

Reading the comments below the video, I saw that I wasn’t Andy’s only failure. “I did every step and it didn’t work,” said one commenter. Others said all they could produce was saliva, and one claimed to have vomited! But it worked for some. “Ahhaha it only took me 15 minutes to learn haha” and “21 seconds into the video then I was able to do it,” said two others, to my intense annoyance.

As I have now moved on from old-school fags to vaping, I will now try lodging a bulky electronic cigarette behind one ear, but my instincts tell me that, even if I were to succeed, this would not be a good look.

FRIDAY 10:15am Murder, Mystery and My Family 11:00am Homes Under the Hammer 12:00pm Wanted Down Under Revisited 12:45pm Caught Red Handed 1:15pm Bargain Hunt 2:00pm BBC News at One 2:30pm BBC London News 2:45pm Doctors 3:15pm Shakespeare and Hathaway 4:00pm Escape to the Country 4:45pm Get Away for Winter 5:30pm Antiques Road Trip 6:15pm Pointless 7:00pm BBC News at Six 7:30pm BBC London News 8:00pm The One Show 8:30pm MasterChef 9:00pm EastEnders

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Caught Red Handed Get Away for Winter Wanted Down Under Revisited Back in Time for Tea Athletics Plan it, Build it Yes Chef A Place to Call Home More Creatures Great and Small Greece with Simon Reeve Great British Railway Journeys Athletics QI Newsnight The Assassination of Gianni Versace American Crime Story A Hijacking The Sheriffs are Coming

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Good Morning Britain Lorraine The Jeremy Kyle Show This Morning Loose Women ITV Lunchtime News ITV News London James Martin's American Adventure Tenable Tipping Point The Chase ITV News London ITV Evening News Emmerdale Coronation Street Love Your Garden Coronation Street Lethal Weapon ITV News at Ten and Weather ITV News London Piers Morgan's Life Stories

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7:30am

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Monster Family: Special Sky Movies takes a special look at the animated Disney adventure featuring the voices of Dwayne Johnson and Jemaine Clement.

Monster Family Birth of the Dragon Monster Family: Special Monster Family The Mummy Larry Gaye: Renegade Male Flight Attendant Birth of the Dragon Monster Family: Special Monster Family The Mummy Hard Target The Unseen

10:00am Football 12:05pm La Liga Greatest Games 12:15pm La Liga Icons 1:30pm EFL Matters 2:00pm La Liga Icons 2:15pm La Liga Icons 2:30pm La Liga Icons: Zidane 2:45pm La Liga Icons 3:00pm La Liga Show 3:30pm EFL Matters 4:00pm Football's Greatest 4:30pm Football's Greatest Teams 5:00pm Scottish Cup Greatest Games 5:15pm Scottish Cup Greatest Games 5:30pm La Liga Greatest Games 5:45pm La Liga Greatest Games 6:00pm La Liga Preview 7:00pm Football's Greatest 7:30pm EFL Matters

Black Panther: Special Monster Family: Special Top Ten Show, the 2018 Monster Family Birth of the Dragon Monster Family Baby Driver The Mummy Hard Target Monster Family: Special Monster Family Baby Driver The Mummy The Unseen Hard Target Christine

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SATURDAY 7:00am Breakfast 11:00am Saturday Kitchen Live 12:30pm Classic Mary Berry 1:00pm Football Focus 2:00pm BBC News 2:10pm Weather 2:15pm Triathlon World Series 3:45pm Cycling: World Track Championships 5:30pm Final Score 6:10pm A Question of Sport 6:40pm Celebrity Mastermind 7:10pm BBC News 7:20pm Regional News 7:23pm Weather 7:25pm Pointless 8:15pm All Together Now The Final.

9:20pm Casualty

7:10am

Nature's Weirdest Events 7:25am Naomi's Nightmares of Nature 7:55am The Pets Factor 8:15am Dengineers 8:45am Absolute Genius: Monster Builds 9:15am Beyond Bionic 9:45am Robot Wars 10:45am Athletics 2:30pm Escape to the Continent 3:30pm Me and My Dog 4:30pm Amazing Hotels: Life Beyond the Lobby 5:30pm Hugh's Wild West 6:30pm Athletics Gabby Logan introduces live coverage of the World Championships at Birmingham Arena.

10:30pm A Little Chaos

7:00am CITV 10:25am ITV News 10:30am Saturday Morning with James Martin 12:25pm Dancing on Ice 2:25pm ITV News and Weather 2:30pm ITV Racing: Live from Doncaster 5:00pm Tipping Point 6:00pm The Chase 7:00pm ITV News and Weather 7:20pm Local News and Weather 7:30pm You've Been Framed!

8:00pm Ant and Dec's Saturday Night Takeaway 9:30pm The Voice UK 10:50pm Piers Morgan's Life Stories 11:45pm ITV News and Weather

8:15am

7:00am 10:25am 10:30am 11:00am 12:00pm 1:20pm

7:00am 7:30am 7:55am 8:25am 8:55am 9:30am 10:30am 12:20pm 2:00pm 2:30pm 3:00pm 3:30pm 4:00pm 4:30pm 5:00pm 5:30pm 6:00pm 6:30pm 7:00pm 7:30pm 8:00pm 10:00pm 12:15am

The Goldbergs The Goldbergs The Goldbergs The Goldbergs The Goldbergs Don't Tell the Bride Ireland Alvin and the Chipmunks Stuart Little The Big Bang Theory The Big Bang Theory The Big Bang Theory The Big Bang Theory The Big Bang Theory The Big Bang Theory The Big Bang Theory The Big Bang Theory The Big Bang Theory The Big Bang Theory The Big Bang Theory The Big Bang Theory Men in Black 3 Identity Thief Gogglebox

7:00am Milkshake!

11:10am Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 11:40am Make You Laugh Out Loud 12:10pm Police Interceptors 1:10pm Police Interceptors 2:10pm Police Interceptors 3:10pm Can't Pay? We'll Take it Away!

4:10pm Can't Pay? We'll Take it Away!

5:05pm Can't Pay? We'll Take it Away!

6:00pm Rich House, Poor House 7:00pm The Secret Life of Kittens 8:00pm Cruising with Jane McDonald 9:00pm The Queen Mary: Cruising with the Royals 9:55pm 5 News 10:00pm Football on 5 The Championship.

Coach Trip Final Week: Road to Tenerife Coach Trip Final Week: Road to Tenerife Coach Trip Final Week: Road to Tenerife Coach Trip Final Week: Road to Tenerife Coach Trip Finale: Road to Tenerife Stuart Little 2 Rude(Ish) Tube Shorts The Goldbergs The Big Bang Theory The Big Bang Theory The Big Bang Theory The Big Bang Theory The Big Bang Theory The Big Bang Theory

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SUNDAY 8:35am Match of the Day 10:00am The Andrew Marr Show 11:00am The Big Questions 12:00pm Sunday Politics 1:15pm Murder, Mystery and My Family 2:00pm BBC News 2:10pm Weather for the Week Ahead 2:15pm MasterChef 3:15pm MasterChef 4:15pm MasterChef 4:45pm Money for Nothing 5:15pm Songs of Praise 5:50pm Madagascar: Escape 2 Africa 7:05pm BBC News 7:20pm Regional News 7:25pm Weather 7:30pm Countryfile 8:30pm Hold the Sunset 9:00pm Call the Midwife

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The Instant Gardener Gardeners' World Countryfile Saturday Kitchen Best Bites Spring Kitchen with Tom Kerridge Lorraine Pascale: How to be a Better Cook MOTD2 Extra Cycling: World Track Championships Athletics Back in Time for Tea World's Most Extraordinary Homes Top Gear Life and Death Row The Mash Report Top Gear Extra Gear

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House Doctor Nick's Quest Wildlife SOS Milkshake!

Football on 5 Football on 5 FIA Formula E: Highlights 12:50pm Police Interceptors 1:50pm Wyatt Earp 5:20pm The Dirty Dozen 8:10pm Can't Pay? We'll Take it Away!

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9:55pm 5 News 10:00pm When Award Shows Go Horribly Wrong 12:50am Jo Brand: Secrets of Her Success 1:50am Cruising with Jane McDonald 2:05am Super Casino

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Christine Black Panther: Special 7:00am The Mummy 9:00am Monster Family 10:50am Norman 12:50pm Baby Driver 2:50pm Birth of the Dragon 4:40pm Monster Family: Special 5:10pm Monster Family 7:00pm The Mummy 9:00pm Baby Driver 11:00pm Norman 1:05am Larry Gaye: Renegade Male Flight Attendant 2:50am Hard Target 4:40am The Unseen

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La Liga Highlights: Real Madrid La Liga Icons EFL Goals: Championship EFL Goals: League One and League Two Sunday Supplement EFL Goals: Championship Football La Liga Highlights: Real Madrid La Liga Icons The Best La Liga Goals 2016/17 Football Countdowns Football Scottish Cup Greatest Games Ronaldo

The schedules for the television programme pages are provided by an external company: we regret that any changes or errors are not the responsibility of RTN.

MONDAY 10:15am Murder, Mystery and My Family 11:00am Homes Under the Hammer 12:00pm Wanted Down Under Revisited 12:45pm Caught Red Handed 1:15pm Bargain Hunt 2:00pm BBC News 2:30pm Regional News 2:45pm Doctors 3:15pm Shakespeare and Hathaway 4:00pm Escape to the Country 4:45pm Coast and Country Auctions 5:30pm Antiques Road Trip 6:15pm Pointless 7:00pm BBC News 7:30pm Regional News 8:00pm The One Show 8:30pm Inside Out 9:00pm EastEnders

7:00am 7:30am 8:15am

Caught Red Handed Get Away for Winter Wanted Down Under Revisited 9:00am Hugh's Wild West 10:00am Victoria Derbyshire 12:00pm BBC Newsroom Live 12:30pm The Week in Parliament 1:00pm The Daily Politics 2:00pm Perfection 2:45pm Plan it, Build it 3:15pm Yes Chef 4:00pm A Place to Call Home 4:50pm Pilgrimage with Simon Reeve 5:50pm More Creatures Great and Small 6:20pm Flog It! 7:00pm Eggheads 7:30pm Great British Railway Journeys 8:00pm Top Gear 9:00pm Only Connect 9:30pm University Challenge

9:30am Lorraine 10:25am The Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30am This Morning 1:30pm Loose Women 2:30pm ITV Lunchtime News 3:00pm James Martin's American Adventure 4:00pm Tenable 5:00pm Tipping Point 6:00pm The Chase 7:00pm Local News and Weather 7:30pm ITV Evening News 8:00pm Emmerdale 8:30pm Coronation Street 9:00pm The Kyle Files 9:30pm Coronation Street 10:00pm Marcella 11:00pm ITV News at Ten and Weather 11:50pm Serial Killer with Piers Morgan 12:50am Detectives: Inside the Major Crimes Team 1:40am The Kyle Files

Baby Daddy Baby Daddy Melissa and Joey Melissa and Joey How I Met Your Mother 11:30am How I Met Your Mother 12:00pm Brooklyn Nine-Nine 12:30pm Brooklyn Nine-Nine 1:00pm The Goldbergs 1:30pm The Goldbergs 2:00pm The Big Bang Theory 2:30pm The Big Bang Theory 3:00pm Melissa and Joey 3:30pm Melissa and Joey 4:00pm Baby Daddy 4:30pm Baby Daddy 5:00pm Brooklyn Nine-Nine 5:30pm Brooklyn Nine-Nine 6:00pm The Goldbergs 6:30pm The Goldbergs 7:00pm The Big Bang Theory 7:30pm The Big Bang Theory 8:00pm Hollyoaks 8:30pm My Hotter Half

7:00am Milkshake!

10:15am The Wright Stuff 12:15pm Can't Pay? We'll Take it Away!

1:10pm 5 News 1:15pm GPs: Behind Closed Doors 2:10pm Access 2:15pm Home and Away 2:45pm Neighbours 3:20pm NCIS 4:15pm Forbidden Secrets 6:00pm 5 News 6:30pm Neighbours 7:00pm Home and Away 7:30pm 5 News 8:00pm Aviva Premiership Rugby Highlights 9:00pm Extreme Winter Road Rescue 10:00pm The Flying Scotsman 11:00pm The X Files 12:00am The X Files 12:55am Traffic Cops 1:55am Britain's Greatest Bridges

9:05am

Monster Family: Special 9:35am Monster Family 11:25am The Levelling 1:05pm Baby Driver 3:05pm Norman 5:10pm Monster Family 7:00pm The Mummy After he inadvertently awakens an ancient Egyptian sorceress, renegade US soldier Nick Morton must race to save the world from her army of the undead.

9:00pm Baby Driver 11:00pm The Levelling 12:30am The Mummy 2:30am The Unseen 4:20am Christine

10:00am La Liga Highlights: Real Madrid 10:15am La Liga Highlights: Barcelona 10:30am La Liga Greatest Games 10:45am La Liga Greatest Games 11:00am Football 5:15pm La Liga Greatest Games 6:00pm La Liga Highlights: Real Madrid 6:15pm La Liga Highlights: Barcelona 6:30pm Football Countdowns 7:00pm Football Years 7:30pm La Liga Highlights: Real Madrid 7:45pm La Liga Highlights: Barcelona 8:00pm Soccer A.M. 8:30pm La Liga Icons 8:45pm La Liga Greatest Games 8:55pm Football

8:15am

9:30am Lorraine 10:25am The Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30am This Morning 1:30pm Loose Women 2:30pm ITV Lunchtime News 3:00pm James Martin's American Adventure 4:00pm Tenable 5:00pm Tipping Point 6:00pm The Chase 7:00pm Local News and Weather 7:30pm ITV Evening News 8:00pm Emmerdale 8:30pm 100 Year Old Driving School 9:00pm What Would Your Kid Do? 10:00pm 100 Years Younger in 21 Days 11:00pm ITV News at Ten and Weather 11:45pm The Cruise: Voyage to Alaska

9:00am 9:30am 10:00am 10:30am 11:00am

10:15am The Wright Stuff 12:15pm Can't Pay? We'll Take it Away!

1:05pm Access 1:10pm 5 News 1:15pm GPs: Behind Closed Doors 2:15pm Home and Away 2:45pm Neighbours 3:15pm NCIS 4:15pm Bond of Silence 6:00pm 5 News 6:30pm Neighbours 7:00pm Home and Away 7:30pm 5 News 8:00pm Loch Lomond: A Year in the Wild 9:00pm Secrets of the National Trust with Alan Tichmarsh 10:00pm Wild Britain with Ray Mears 11:00pm Elizabeth 12:05am The Yorkshire Steam Railway: All Aboard

7:00am Monster Family

12:00pm One2eleven 12:30pm SPFL Greatest Games 1:30pm Soccer A.M. - The Best Bits 2:00pm MLS Round Up Show 2:30pm La Liga Icons 3:15pm SPFL Greatest Games 3:30pm Soccer A.M. - The Best Bits 4:00pm Football's Greatest 4:30pm Football's Greatest Teams 5:00pm Scottish Cup Greatest Games 5:30pm La Liga Greatest Games 6:00pm MLS Round Up Show 6:30pm Football Countdowns 7:15pm SPFL Greatest Games 7:30pm Soccer A.M. - The Best Bits 8:00pm Revista de la Liga 8:30pm Eredivisie

9:00am 9:30am 10:00am 10:30am 11:00am

TUESDAY 10:15am Murder, Mystery andMy Family 11:00am Homes Under the Hammer 12:00pm Wanted Down Under Revisited 12:45pm Caught Red Handed 1:15pm Bargain Hunt 2:00pm BBC News 2:30pm Regional News 2:45pm Doctors 3:15pm Shakespeare and Hathaway 4:00pm Escape to the Country 4:45pm Coast and Country Auctions 5:30pm Antiques Road Trip 6:15pm Pointless 7:00pm BBC News 7:30pm Regional News 8:00pm The One Show

Wanted Down Under Revisited 9:00am Celebrity Antiques Road Trip 10:00am Victoria Derbyshire 12:00pm BBC Newsroom Live 1:00pm The Daily Politics 2:00pm The Super League Show 2:45pm Plan it, Build it 3:15pm Yes Chef 4:00pm A Place to Call Home 4:50pm Pilgrimage with Simon Reeve 5:50pm More Creatures Great and Small 6:20pm Flog It! 7:00pm Eggheads 7:30pm Great British Railway Journeys 8:00pm Saving Lives at Sea 9:00pm Back in Time for Tea

11:30am 12:00pm 12:30pm 1:00pm 1:30pm 2:00pm 2:30pm 3:00pm 3:30pm 4:00pm 4:30pm 5:00pm 5:30pm 6:00pm 6:30pm 7:00pm 7:30pm

Baby Daddy Baby Daddy Melissa and Joey Melissa and Joey How I Met Your Mother How I Met Your Mother Brooklyn Nine-Nine Brooklyn Nine-Nine The Goldbergs The Goldbergs The Big Bang Theory The Big Bang Theory Melissa and Joey Melissa and Joey Baby Daddy Baby Daddy Brooklyn Nine-Nine Brooklyn Nine-Nine The Goldbergs The Goldbergs The Big Bang Theory The Big Bang Theory

8:45am The Levelling 10:15am Monster Family 12:05pm Baby Driver 2:00pm Two Down 3:35pm The Levelling 5:05pm Norman 7:10pm Monster Family 9:00pm Baby Driver 11:00pm Two Down 12:40am Hard Target 2:35am Larry Gaye: Renegade Male Flight Attendant 4:30am The Unseen

The schedules for the television programme pages are provided by an external company: we regret that any changes or errors are not the responsibility of RTN.

2nd - 8th March

33

WEDNESDAY 5:30pm 6:15pm 7:00pm 7:30pm 8:00pm 8:30pm 9:00pm 10:00pm 11:00pm 11:30pm 11:40pm

Antiques Road Trip Pointless BBC News Regional News The One Show Immigration: Who Should We Let in?

- Panorama DIY SOS the Big Build Earth's Natural Wonders BBC News Regional News Weather

6:25pm 7:00pm 7:30pm 8:00pm 9:00pm 10:00pm

10:50pm 11:30pm 12:10am 12:15am 1:00am

Flog It! Eggheads Great British Railway Journeys Saving Lives at Sea World's Most Extraordinary Homes The Assassination of Gianni Versace American Crime Story Live at the Apollo Newsnight Weather Nature's Weirdest Events Women's Football

6:00pm 7:00pm 7:30pm 8:00pm 8:30pm 9:00pm 9:30pm 10:00pm 11:00pm 11:45pm 12:45am 1:35am 4:00am

The Chase Local News and Weather ITV Evening News Emmerdale Coronation Street Britain's Brightest Family Coronation Street Benidorm ITV News at Ten and Weather UEFA Champions League Highlights Play to the Whistle Jackpot247 Tenable

4:00pm 4:30pm 5:00pm 5:30pm 6:00pm 6:30pm 7:00pm 7:30pm 8:00pm 8:30pm 9:00pm 9:30pm 10:00pm 11:00pm 12:05am 12:35am 1:05am

Baby Daddy Baby Daddy Brooklyn Nine-Nine Brooklyn Nine-Nine The Goldbergs The Goldbergs The Big Bang Theory The Big Bang Theory Hollyoaks My Hotter Half The Goldbergs The Big Bang Theory Don't Tell the Bride Celebrity First Dates The Big Bang Theory The Big Bang Theory First Dates

6:00pm

5 News The latest news coverage.

6:30pm Neighbours 7:00pm Home and Away 7:30pm 5 News 8:00pm Extreme Winter Road Rescue 9:00pm GPs: Behind Closed Doors 10:00pm Violent Child, Desperate Parents 11:00pm Most Shocking 1:55am Super Casino 4:10am Cowboy Builders 5:00am Now That's Funny!

5:45am House Doctor

4:30am 6:30am

The Unseen Black Panther: Special 7:00am Monster Family 8:40am Top Ten Show, the 2018 9:00am Norman 11:15am Monster Family 1:05pm Baby Driver 3:15pm Two Down 5:00pm Monster Family 6:50pm Norman 9:00pm Baby Driver 11:00pm In This Corner of the World 1:15am Two Down 2:55am The Levelling

2:45pm 3:00pm 3:30pm 4:00pm 4:30pm

The Chase ITV News London ITV Evening News Emmerdale Tonight Emmerdale The Cruise: Voyage to Alaska Rachel Nickell: The Untold Story ITV News at Ten and Weather ITV News London UEFA Europa League Highlights Play to the Whistle

5:00pm 5:30pm 6:00pm 6:30pm 7:00pm 7:30pm 8:00pm 8:30pm 9:00pm 9:30pm 10:00pm 10:30pm 11:00pm 11:35pm 12:05am

Brooklyn Nine-Nine Brooklyn Nine-Nine The Goldbergs The Goldbergs The Big Bang Theory The Big Bang Theory Hollyoaks My Hotter Half The Big Bang Theory Young Sheldon Brooklyn Nine-Nine Brooklyn Nine-Nine The Inbetweeners The Inbetweeners The Big Bang Theory

3:20pm 4:20pm

7:00am 9:00am 10:50am 12:35pm 3:00pm 5:00pm 7:10pm 9:00pm 11:25pm 1:25am 3:00am 4:35am

6:30pm Football Countdowns 7:00pm Championship Season Review 8:00pm EFL Matters 8:30pm EFL Midweek Goals: Championship 9:00pm Football's Greatest 9:30pm The Story of Las Palmas 10:45pm La Liga Icons 11:00pm La Liga Show 11:30pm EFL Matters 12:00am La Liga Icons: Zidane 12:15am La Liga Icons 12:30am La Liga Icons 12:45am La Liga Icons

La Liga Icons Revista de la Liga La Liga World Football's Greatest Football's Greatest Teams 5:00pm Scottish Cup Greatest Games 5:30pm La Liga Greatest Games 6:00pm Football Years 6:30pm Football Countdowns 7:00pm Eredivisie 8:00pm EFL Rivalries 8:30pm Football 11:00pm The Debate - Live

THURSDAY 4:00pm 4:45pm 5:30pm 6:15pm 7:00pm 7:30pm 8:00pm 8:30pm 9:00pm 10:00pm 10:30pm 11:00pm 11:30pm 11:45pm

Escape to the Country Coast and Country Auctions Antiques Road Trip Pointless BBC News at Six BBC London News The One Show EastEnders MasterChef Not Going Out Still Game BBC News at Ten BBC London News Question Time

5:45pm 6:15pm 7:00pm 7:30pm 8:00pm 9:00pm 10:00pm 11:00pm 11:30pm 12:15am 1:15am

More Creatures Great and Small Flog It! Eggheads Great British Railway Journeys Goes to Ireland Saving Lives at Sea Great Continental Railway Journeys Civilisations Match of the Day Newsnight Top Gear Nigel Slater's Middle East: Turkey

6:00pm 7:00pm 7:30pm 8:00pm 8:30pm 9:00pm 9:30pm 10:00pm 11:00pm 11:30pm 11:45pm 12:45am

NCIS A Bone to Pick: An Aurora Teagarden Mystery 6:00pm 5 News at 5 6:30pm Neighbours 7:00pm Home and Away 7:30pm 5 News Tonight 8:00pm The Secret Life of Kittens 9:00pm Bargain Loving Brits in the Sun 10:00pm Do the Right Thing with Eamonn and Ruth 11:00pm The Nightmare

Hard Target 2 Monster Family Two Down Wonder Woman Baby Driver Norman Monster Family Wonder Woman Baby Driver Two Down The Levelling In This Corner of the World

this week weather FRI

SAT

SUN

MON

TUE

WED

THU

March 2 March 3 March 4 March 5 March 6 March 7 March 8

15º/7ºC 16º/7ºC 16º/10ºC 15º/8ºC 17º/8ºC 16º/8ºC 15º/7ºC Rain

Rain

Rain

Rain

Rain

Rain

Clouds and sun

34

2nd - 8th March

Puzzles Code Breaker

Play on Words

EVENT EVENT Kenny Corris I For Readings, Consultations and Castings email: kennycorris@hotmailcom / www.kennycorris.net Mobile: 686 361 594 / Tel: 965 878 424

FINE SPOT

Answers: Turn of events. On the spot fine.

Mercury and Venus both enter midweek, and it’s a good job you are grounded and open to suggestions right now. Though nobody knows what you have up your sleeve, it is time to make those decisions that will put you back where you need to be. Mercury directs channels of communication to support you, whilst Venus opens the heart!

Word Wheel The goal of a word wheel puzzle is to create as many words possible with the letters in the word wheel. You can only use each letter once and every word must have the letter in the centre of the wheel.

Can you find the 9 letter word?

With Venus on a par in Aries and guided by Mercurian expertise, there comes a chance to leave your comfort zone this week. The tried and tested does not challenge you the way that it could, and you sometimes do not realise what you are really capable of until you are thrown in at the deep end. Prepare for a splash!

Mercury in cahoots with Aries makes for some discourse this week. Silence is not the way forward and although you have had to bite your tongue as of late; now is a time to make amends. Strike while the iron is hot and just tell your side of the story because right now you have absolutely nothing to lose whatsoever working with the truth.

Moon energies are inspiring and comforting and this is a good time to bring loved ones together to celebrate in style.

Your current pace of life means that you have such little time, but you rely on the friendships you thrive on, and know where to go when in any doubt. Reward those who are there for you when you need them, they deserve it.

Examine all aspects of finances this week, and do not, whatever you do, bury your head in the sand. The Sun conjuncts Neptune and it is now time to put your cards well and truly on the table where expenditure is in question. Your money should be working for you, not you for it; so find a way to let some lucre stick around for a rainy day.

Mercury conjuncts Venus and your head is governed by your heart right now, and for all good reasons. Facing up to an affair of the heart, there seems to be some nagging doubt and a painful silence prevails. Things cannot continue this way without the necessary dialogue. If some things are taken for granted they only add to the confusion.

You are putting your foot down, hoping that your stubborn attitude will have the desired effect; when you know in your heart of hearts that it won’t. Neither of you wants this conflict nor the stage is set by the Mars trine with dwarf planet Kora, to make a suitable understanding that embraces all that you both hold so dear.

Keep your temper, even though those around you this week appear to be losing theirs! There is nothing to be gained by confrontation this time around, so why put yourself through the turmoil for nothing? Karma will sort out the men from the boys, and bring a lasting solution right now, as actions speak a lot louder than words ever could.

It’s only a matter of time before people come around to your way of thinking; but then they do not know what you do know. In hindsight you would never have gotten involved in a plan that veers somewhat out of control right now.

Mercury trines with a generous benefactor of the Cosmos, Jupiter, whose intervention seals the deal.

You are up for a challenge, but even you can see that the odds are against you this time around. Lift your focus to generously assist somebody who really does need your tender love and care this week, but who is afraid to ask you.

All across the Cosmos solution comes with a current calm, but, thankfully, there is no storm needed right now!

You are multi-talented and discerning, and you can see the motive all around a recent request. Psychic energies are challenged to help you get just what it is you both want and need right now. Above all, don’t put all of your eggs into one basket. When it comes to it, you know that you are not cutting off your nose to spite your face!

Neptune basks in the energies of the Sun and this week solution comes into your life to see a varied way ahead with all options kept open, for you to choose. The time has come to realise that something has to go, and spiritually you are experiencing pressure from different directions. Do something that ensures you get the help you need.

Each number in the Code Breaker grid represents a different letter of the alphabet. In this week’s puzzle, 18 represents K and 26 represents T, so fill in K every time the figure 18 appears and T every time the figure 26 appears. Now, using your knowledge of the English language, work out which letters should go in the missing squares. As you discover the letters, fill in other squares with the same number in the main grid and the control grid.

Kenny’s Postbag Kenny, my grandfather always treasured his mantel clock. He left it to my Mother when he died, but it stops at 6.17 nearly every day. The clock has been serviced recently but the hands seem to stick at the same spot for no reason.

Paula T.S. Could I ask you what time did your Grandfather die? If 617 is not a number associated with him, in some way, then it may very well be the time of his passing. Clocks have been known to stop at the time of the demise of their owners. My car broke down on the M1 when I was dashing to be there at the deathbed of my Father. The AA clocked my call at the exact time that my Father departed this Earth!

Kenny Corris

Don't forget to email or message me with your Postbag Questions!. Check out my new website: www.kennycorris.net

For Birthday Celebrants This could be the start of a bustling Astrological year, if you just let it be. See your considerable skills as the way ahead to success all across the board, and be unafraid to put your best foot forward!

The 9 letter word is:

Kakuro Fill all the empty squares using the numbers 1 to 9, so that the sum of each horizontal block equals the ‘clue’ on its left, and the sum of each vertical block equals the clue on its top. No number may be used in the same block more than once.

2nd - 8th March

35

More Puzzles Cryptic

Across 1 Confirm exam, if the end of July (7) 5 Some of Al Capone's mob are chicken (5) 8 Assemble in part of the jungle, anticipating adventure (5) 9 Confuse or alert US estate agent (7) 10 Appeal for fairy wisdom (7) 11 Pleased with English clearing (5) 12 Money to be won and where to keep it (5) 14 Right in the middle of one's land (5) 19 Competitions for ethnic groups (5) 21 Vagrant the French walk all over (7) 23 A bird has swallowed her cigar (7) 24 Firm with nothing in stock (5) 25 Father meets Northern enchantress (5) 26 Captive eats hog cooked (7)

English - Spanish

Futoshiki

Down 1 Cat, losing direction, is found in Asian river (6) 2 Clean up in lottery (5) 3 I have gone around US to find rock (7) 4 Special delivery from Prince Andrew’s duchy to his Mum (6) 5 Tribe noted for a ringing sound (5) 6 Stew made from pet goat (7) 7 School head never out after butterflies (6) 13 Concealed nuclear explosion (7) 15 Transport company suffers (7) 16 Antics in Saint Patrick's Day celebrations (6) 17 This may stop you running to join up (6) 18 Try to sell part of a bike, one hears (6) 20 Now so chaotic and faint (5) 22 La Paz rebuilt town square (5)

Fill in the squares so that each digit from 1 to 6 occurs exactly once in each row and column. Greater-than and less-than signs indicate the relationship of the two adjacent squares. There is only one solution, and you can find it without guessing.

The clues are mixed, some clues are in Spanish and some are in English.

Across 1 When (in questions and reported speech) (6) 4 Cola (de animal, avión, cometa) (4) 8 Cuttlefish (5) 9 Acordar (5)

10 Inglaterra (7) 14 Letter (mail) (5) 15 Goat (5) 16 Obedecer (4) 17 El más raro (6) Down 1 Almost (4) 2 Manzano (5-4)

3 Day (3) 5 Pleasant (9) 6 Mentiras (4) 7 Room (in a house) (4) 11 Gol (4) 12 Leisure (4) 13 Esperar (4) 15 Bacalao (3)

Quick

Across 1 Having the properties of an adhesive (6) 4 Small rowing, sailing or motor vessels (5) 8 Yellow citrus fruit (5) 9 Act of touching physically (7) 10 Include (7) 11 In or at this place (4) 12/18 Give insider information to (3,3) 14 Nothing (4) 15 Any loose flowing garment (4) 18 See 12 21 Connection (4) 23 Answer (7) 25 Easily agitated (7) 26 Correct (5) 27 Alloy of iron with small amounts of carbon (5) 28 Sweet liquid secretion that is attractive to pollinators (6) Down 1 Choose (6) 2 Vast in extent or degree (7) 3 Australian marsupial (8) 4 Group of musicians (4) 5 Having knowledge or perception of a situation (5) 6 Small sofa (6) 7 Perfume (5) 13 Keep or maintain in unaltered condition (8) 16 Came with (7) 17 Merges (6) 19 Recently made, produced or harvested (5) 20 Person in charge of a newspaper (6) 22 One skilled in caring for young children or the sick (5) 24 Prevent (something considered wrong or undesirable) from succeeding (4)

Sudoku

Fill the grid so every column and every 3x3 box contains the digits 1-9

36

2nd - 8th March

More Puzzles Irregular Soduku Wordsearch: Two and a Half Men

AHOY, ME HEARTIES!

Quiz

(real name Frederick Heath), 8. CAPHENRY MORGAN, 7. JOHNNY KIDD 5. CAPTAIN JACK SPARROW, 6. SIR LOUIS STEVENSON, 4. BLACKBEARD, BURGH, Pennsylvania, 3. ROBERT 1. CAPTAIN PUGWASH, 2. PITTSAnswers

1. Cut Throat Jake was the arch-enemy of which cartoon pirate captain?

2. In which city do the American professional baseball (MLB) team the Pirates play their home games?

3. The famous one-legged pirate Long John Silver is the main villain in the 1883 novel Treasure Island written by which Scottish novelist, poet and travel writer?

4. The notorious English pirate Edward Teach, who operated around the West Indies and the eastern coast of Britain's North American colonies between 1716 and 1718, was better known by what nickname?

5. What is the name of the character played by actor Johnny Depp in the Pirates of the

Caribbean series of fantasy swashbuckler films?

6. What was the name of the Welsh-born pirate who was the acting Lieutenant Governor of Jamaica between 1674 and 1682?

7. Which 1960s rock and roll singer, songwriter was backed by the Pirates?

8. Which character, the pirate captain of the brig Jolly Roger, is the antagonist of J M Barrie's play Peter Pan and its various adaptations, in which he is Peter Pan's archenemy?

9. Which duo wrote the comic opera in two acts The Pirates of Penzance, which premiered on December 31, 1879?

10. With which sport would your principally associate the Poole Pirates?

DOWN 2. 24 across plus 26 down 3. 22 across minus 8 down 4. 22 across minus 24 across 6. Five times 20 down 7. 19 across plus 14 down 8. 2 down minus 26 across 10. 20 down squared 12. 18 across squared 14. Three times 30 across 16. 12 across times 3 down 20. Five times 26 across 21. Sum of digits is ten 22. A square 25. 12 across plus 4 down 26. 9 across plus 12 across 28. 22 across divided by five

TAIN JAMES HOOK, 9. GILBERT AND

September 19 is Talk like a Pirate Day

ACROSS 1. 12 across plus 26 down 3. 9 across plus 26 down 5. 3 down plus 24 across 7. 9 across plus 4 down 9. 8 down minus 7 across 11. Seven times 3 down 12. 29 across minus 27 across 13. Five times 18 across 15. 4 down times 9 across 17. Twice 22 down 18. Three times 3 across 19. 28 down times 12 across 21. 15 across plus 19 across 22. 9 across plus 30 across 23. Twice 18 across 24. 1 across plus 28 down 26. 10 down divided by 6 down 27. Three times 28 down 29. A square 30. 3 down plus 7 across

SULLIVAN, 10. Motorcycle SPEEDWAY

Cross Figure

CHIROPRACTOR BERTA JAKE HERBERT WALDEN SCHMIDT ROSE BEACH HOUSE EVELYN PIANO ALAN CHARLIE MALIBU CHUCK LORRE HARPER

2nd - 8th March

More Puzzles Giant Crossword ACROSS 1 Stuff pumped into a 747 8 Bracing devices 14 Teeny bit 20 "Stephen," to the French 21 Rip into 22 Untrue rumor 23 Start of a riddle 25 "Ironic" singer Morissette 26 Enzyme name ender 27 Solo for a 41Across 28 Not feeling well at all 30 Set aflame 31 Riddle, part 2 39 Shar 40 No, to Burns 41 Certain opera singer 42 Actress Joanne 43 Bit of slander 44 Neighbor of a Croat 46 The, to Josef 48 Apt rhyme of "grab" 50 OFish (McDonald's sandwich) 52 Riddle, part 3 59 Very pungent 61 Certain opera singer 62 Adders, e.g.

63 Most blaring 66 Sculling tools 68 As blind as 69 Elegant tree 72 Pharmacy amount 73 Riddle, part 4 76 Blackthorn 77 Fire residue 78 Lady Grey 79 Sauce brand since 1937 80 Stays away from

82 Total or Life 84 Neighbor of a Swede 86 Goes fast 87 Riddle, part 5 93 NATO part 94 Mineo of "Tonka" 95 Knighted one, e.g.

96 Pleasant 99 The Beatles' " Loser" 100 "Citizen X" actor Stephen 103 Equine noise 107 Do a lawn chore 109 Relo vehicle 110 End of the riddle 115 Dir. from Del. to Vt. 116 Busy mo. for a CPA 117 Big particle physics lab in Switz.

118 "Hail, Nero!"

119 Big name in sneakers 121 Riddle's answer 128 Lenient 129 Beethoven's Third, familiarly 130 Mark Antony's wife 131 Local lingoes 132 Wet slightly 133 Wee baby DOWN 1 Seder celebrant 2 Ordinal number ender 3 Carrere of "True Lies" 4 Beyond embryonic 5 Oneness 6 Baja California resort port 7 Permit to 8 Biblical angel 9 Chicana, e.g.

10 Many flying creatures 11 Got together

12 Compadre 13 "Shrek!" author William 14 Like time, speed and temperature 15 Bad, to Luc 16 Including everything 17 Author Steel 18 More sandlike 19 MS markers 24 "Yuk" relative 29 PC screen variety 31 Special (mil. group) 32 Toll, for one 33 Atomizer for spraying paint 34 Turned right on a horse 35 Has no life 36 Ark (biblical boat) 37 With 57Down, supporter for a caterer's dishes 38 Pets' docs 45 Groom's partner 47 Microwave brand 49 Unoriginal 51 Indefinite things 53 Keats verse 54 Gobs 55 Railing locale 56 Hurricane relative 57 See 37Down 58 Greenlights 59 Alan of "White Mile" 60 Doves' calls 64 Horrify 65 Reasonably muscular 67 Lactose, e.g.

69 Unrequired course 70 Rob of the Brat Pack 71 Disorder 74 Gets close

75 Mom or dad's sister 76 "Da Doo Ron Ron" singer Cassidy 78 Tull (rock band) 81 Magnon man 82 Persian, e.g.

83 Country singer Rimes 85 Suffix with lion 87 Army group 88 Ball of perfume in a closet 89 Exhausting 90 Urged in defense 91 Intentions 92 Close friendship between guys 97 "Wheels" 98 Nav. officer 101 Expunges 102 African viper 104 Implant that helps in returning a lost pet 105 Athens' land 106 Husband of Lily Munster 108 Greet with a hand motion 111 Resulted in 112 Followed a curved path 113 Hit skit show since '75 114 " and Kel" (1990s teen show) 119 Khan 120 Height fig.

122 Hunters' gp.

123 de plume 124 Cyclotron bit 125 Actress Longoria 126 Apt humor 127 Letter encl. to facilitate a reply

37

Boggled How many English words can you find in the Boggled grid, according to the following rules?

• The letters must be adjoining in a ‘chain’. They can be adjacent horizontally, vertically or diagonally.

• Words must contain at least four letters and may include singular and plural or other derived forms.

• No letter may be used more than once within a single word, unless it appears twice.

• No vulgarities or proper nouns are permitted.

TARGET • Average: 19 • Good: 26 • Very good: 37 • Excellent: 48 SCORING 4 letters: 1 point 5 letters: 2 points 6 letters: 3 points 7 letters: 5 points 8 or more letters: 11 points

Nonagram How many English words of four letters or more can you make from the nine letters in our Nonagram puzzle? Each letter may be used only once (unless the letter appears twice). Each word MUST CONTAIN THE CENTRE LETTER (in this case D) and there must be AT LEAST ONE NINE LETTER WORD. Plurals, vulgarities or proper nouns are not allowed.

• Average: 11 • Good: 15 • Very good: 22 • Excellent: 28

38

2nd - 8th March

health Cheating can be good for you WOMEN who have been cheated on by their partners often end up in stronger relationships as a result.

Researchers said infidelity helps women make better choices of partners in the future so after the short-term pain and grief, cheating can actually be a good thing in the long term.

Dr Morris, an evolutionary biologist at Binghamton University in New York, led the study, and said over 85 per cent of individuals will experience at least one break up in their lifetime.

He worked with colleagues at University College London, and conducted an online survey of over 5,000 people in 96 different countries about their relationship break ups.

Their findings showed while discovering an unfaithful partner could have negative shortterm effects, in the long run it actually benefited women.

Benefits of green tea WITHIN a relatively short space of time, green tea has gained a global following because of its undeniable health properties, being packed full of anti-oxidants.

Here are some of the health benefits : Anti-Ageing: Free radicals created in the body are responsible for our bodies ageing and green tea can drastically put a halt to these.

Immunity Boosting: People who regularly drink green tea do not fall victim to common bacterial and viral infections as easily.

Astringency: These substances trigger contractions in muscles and tissues which tones up muscles and skin.

Anti-carcinogenic: The Catechins present in green tea neutralise free radicals, responsible for causing certain types of cancer.

Reducing Cholesterol: Reduces cholesterol levels due to its alkalinity.

Detoxifying: Green tea with lemon is a great hangover cure.

A cup with lemon will soon have the hangover a distant memory.

GREEN TEA: Has so many health benefits.

TASTE THE TENSION: Chemical changes caused by stress has us reaching for the cakes.

Stress can pile on the pounds

FEELING stressed can lead to us making wrong food choices as we’re more likely to grab a bar of chocolate than a carrot stick when feeling under pressure.

Stress can trigger chemical changes in the body resulting in bad food cravings and whilst making you feel better briefly, it is bad news for those watching their weight.

In stressful situations, the brain signals that it is under threat and floods the body with stress hormones such as adrenaline and cortisol.

If stress levels remain high, cortisol stays in the body long after the initial adrenalin rush, wanting energy rich foods as the brain’s attempt to balance out the physical and mental demands of stress.

Cortisol also affects how fat is distributed around our bodies and it builds up in the worst place, around our middles making it harder to shift.

So to beat the bulging waistline try looking at your stress levels and stay calm to help reduce the temptation of reaching for the chocolate.

Easing the bloat

MANY people are turning to smoothies as a healthy way to boost their intake of fruit and vegetables and to help lose weight, but they could be doing more harm than good.

A leading nutritionist believes a lot of people put too many ingredients in their home-made versions and they should be 50 per cent liquid base, 25 per cent fruit and 25 per cent veg.

So how can you make the most from your smoothie?

The base should be a low fat liquid such as co-

HOME-MADE SMOOTHIES: Keep all the pulp from the fruit and vegetables for muchneeded fibre.

A smoother way to enjoy those smoothies conut water or skimmed milk and not fruit juice.

Fruit should be limited to a single serving such as a cup of berries or a single piece such as an apple or banana to limit sugar intake, then fill with vegetables.

If your smoothie is replacing a meal such as breakfast you can include a few filling foods such as oats, but if it’s a snack or after a workout, keep it lighter.

Keep all of the pulp from fruit and veggies in

your smoothie for muchneeded fibre and make sure you have them as part of a healthy diet.

But beware, living off smoothies will leave you starting to lack essential nutrients such as iron and zinc.

WANT a flatter stomach in a day?

Try these quick fixes to help achieve a slimmer look: Drink more water: The body is made up of around 70 per cent water and many people think drinking less will make you cut down on bloating, but this is not true and adequate water should be drank throughout the day.

Careful on fruits and vegetables: Choose your fruits and vegetables carefully as broccoli, along with cauliflower and cabbage can cause bloating and excess wind.

No sweet treats: Avoid refined carbohydrates like pastas and pastries as they are likely to cause bloating. They also often contain wheat, which can be a problem for people with IBS symptoms.

Limit spices: Spicy foods like curry can cause irritation or ferment in the digestive system causing bloating.

Chew properly: Chew each mouthful until the food is liquid, this helps ensure the food is properly digested, but it will also help you to eat slower and therefore eat less.

2nd - 8th March

39

health

Wean yourself off the addiction MANY experts now believe sugar is as deadly an addiction as drink and drugs, with many people consuming too much.

Whilst it may be easier to lay off the sweets and chocolate, nutritionists say it is the hidden sugar in foods that catch people unawares, such as in pre-made pasta sauces and baked beans.

So what can you do to help wean yourself off sugar?

Try and keep your blood sugar balanced and

KEEPING your mind active, especially in older age, is important. Numerous studies into cognitive decline have deduced similar sets of advice for people such as staying physically active, getting enough sleep, not smoking, having good social connections, limiting alcohol to one drink a day, and eating a balanced diet low in saturated and trans fats.

Smartphones are making us more hyperactive HIDDEN SUGAR: Catches people unaware.

avoid low blood sugar, that will make you want to go and get something sweet. Don’t go longer than three hours without eating, especially women, or your blood sugar levels will drop.

Weaning yourself off sugar can be easier for some than others. Some may prefer to go cold turkey, others gradually reduce it.

After removing the obvious sources from the house, such as chocolate and cakes, it is recommended to take out of your diet all the savoury foods that contain added sugar.

SMARTPHONES are being linked to giving users similar symptoms to ADHD. Constantly checking messages and being on social media, as well as the continual beeps of notifications, is making people increasingly distracted and hyperactive; symptoms that characterise Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, or ADHD. A study was conducted with students at the University of British Columbia, Canada.

During the first week, they asked half the participants to minimise phone interruptions by activating the ‘donot disturb’ settings and keeping their phones out of

Keep an active mind

Here are a few other factors which might help to keep your mind active: Keep learning A high level of education is associated with better functioning brains in older age. Being mentally active and pushing the brain intellectually increases mental activity, which is good for the brain cells.

Learning new skills, hobbies, crosswords or languages are the prime examples.

believe that a failing memory is out of their hands hold themselves back from maintaining a sharp mind.

Believe in yourself Negative stereotypes can contribute to a failing memory. People who

Use all your If you use senses when then it is more

CROSSWORDS: Are a good way of stimulating the brain.

senses multiple learning likely you

will remember new things.

Repeat, repeat, repeat In order to cement new memories or new learnt skills, the best way to fix it into the brain is by repeating it out loud or writing it down.

sight and far from reach.

The other half could use their phones normally.

In the second week, the groups swapped and all reported they felt more interrupted by their phones when they had their phone alerts on, as opposed to having them off.

Scientists then measured inattentiveness and hyperactivity by asking participants to identify how frequently they had experienced 18 symptoms of ADHD over each of the two weeks.

The results showed more frequent phone interruptions made people less attentive and more hyperactive.

40

2nd - 8th March

home & garden

Ornamental grasses for the home

WHEN we think of grass it is normally about lawns, but grasses can also add an element of interest to the ornamental garden and even in pot plants. There is a wide range of grasses that are cultivated for their showy flower spikes and low maintenance care in the Mediterranean garden.

Tussocks of ornamental grasses can be used to break up garden monotony by planting in groups, as hedges and for borders. They also suit pool areas as the debris from grasses is minimal if given an annual pruning.

For large gardens, Pampas grass (Cortaderia selloana), named after the South American region Pampas where they originate from, provides a great display

of feathery plumes high above the dense clump of foliage, making it a perfect screening hedge of up to two metres high and wide, or as a single specimen feature amongst other contrasting landscape specimens.

For hedges plant one metre apart to ensure a full screen. Being a grass it is best cut back strongly in winter, after the flower display, to allow a new flush of fresh leaves that will quickly emerge from the more solid core.

The flowers usually materialise in late summer and autumn and there are white to pink shades available.

For smaller garden areas and containers I prefer the Fountain grasses (Pennisetum setaceum).

Pampas Grass.

They make a great border or background plant and are very easy to manage. I have grown some for years from a division from a friend’s plant and each year I have been extending its use in the garden as a low maintenance, easy to move and propagate flowering space filler.

They don’t need a lot of water once established and flower profusely with great dependability.

The flowers can be harvested for use in dry flower arrangements so they can be on display in the house all year, or incorporated into flower arrangements or decoration on gifts.

Water features in Spain WATER features in a garden landscape have been a treasured element since ancient times. The oldest known landscape design named the Sennufera Garden, discovered in an Egyptian tomb dated circa 1400 BC, included ponds as water features.

Water features add an ambience of tranquillity,

fluidity and contrast to hard landscaping as well as a variety of practical uses.

Initially the ponds were for water storage, allowing easy access to water for use in the house, irrigation for the garden, a water source for animals, fish ponds and a refreshing way to cool off.

Ponds, fountains and

water channels have been an integrated part of Spanish landscape gardens for centuries. The influence of the Persian, Roman, Moors, British and European Renaissance and Baroque gardens are all apparent in Spain.

Most traditional water features in Spain tend to be formal in design rather than a replica nature design, such as in Japanese gardens.

The influence of the early church decorating fonts or springs as holy basins and sacred grottos has added to the formality of water design features in Spain.

Today a garden design is not complete without a water feature of some kind.

To divide ornamental grasses, it is just a matter of digging around the section of the plant you wish to separate and prising them up. The relatively shallow roots make this easy and if the roots are kept moist, they will normally transplant successfully and commence growing quickly.

It is difficult to grow these grasses from seed as the seed goes off quickly and as there are male and female plants, single plants may not form seed.

There are dry area and wet area ornamental grasses but, except for pond areas or naturally moist

areas, the dry area plants are the most suited to the Mediterranean as they require minimal watering and are hardier in the hot summer months.

Pruning back to the central core after flowering has finished to keep plants fresh and to minimise build up of dried leaves is the easiest approach, but they can also be regularly given a light prune or clipping to maintain shape in specific landscaped areas where form is important and fresh growth is required all year round.

Remove spent flowers regularly.

Good soil helps growth THE basis of good gardening is at the root of all plants, the soil or growing media. Much of the success of gardening is working with the soil to enrich it.

Natural Mediterranean soil is often semi-arid with low organic content due to the hot dry summers rapidly breaking down the organic content. To grow healthy plants in the Mediterranean climate you must have healthy soil.

Most plants we like to grow require healthier soil than nature provides. Indigenous plants have adapted to this environment and can thrive here but if you want a vegetable garden, fruit trees or exotic ornamental display, improving the soil expands the range of plants that you can grow.

Adding compost and manures to the soil will greatly improve the structure, texture, water holding capacity and the drainage of excess water, in addition to the nu-

trients they provide.

Protecting the soil from excess sun exposure is also equally important. The hot drying effect of the sun heats exposed soil to extreme temperatures, literally sterilising the top layers of the soil killing shallow roots, worms and other soil surface ecology.

Many farmers use this sun sterilisation to keep fields and orchards weed free over summer by cultivating the soil at the start of summer. This works well for its purpose to keep areas weed free, but has a long term detrimental effect on the soil health and has the risk of erosion in high winds and heavy rain.

For gardeners it is better to develop strategies to protect the soil. Deciduous trees provide shade in summer over the garden but permit winter sun and the bonus of autumn leaves for mulch.

41

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REMOVALS / STORAGE

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44

2nd - 8th March

motoring

Show on the road

Photo credit Ferrari/Rinspeed/Shutterstock.

THIS year’s Geneva Motor Show is just around the corner.

Kicking off next Thursday, the first major European motor show of the year is once again set to feature a raft of new production cars and concepts.

The 10-day industry showcase is now in its 88th year, and 2018 is set to be the biggest yet.

Among the most anticipated new cars is British sports stalwart Aston Martin’s new Vantage, while the company is also expected to reveal its latest World Endurance Championship GTE Vantage race car and has hinted there may be a surprise in store for visitors.

Ferrari is due to bring its recently unveiled GTOapeing 488 Pista to the event, while Land Rover has confirmed that the limited edition 70th anniversary two-door Range Rover SV Coupe - currently known only from a top-down interior photo - will make its official debut.

Other debutants are likely to include updated versions of Volvo’s V60 Wagon estate, Kia’s Ceed, Hyundai’s Santa Fe, Audi’s A6, BMW’s X4 and Z4, Porsche’s 911 GT3 RS, Mercedes’ A-class and AMG GT Coupe, Jeep Wrangler and the Lexus Ux, while Toyota is expected to show a new racing concept based on the latest Supra.

A slew of new electric models will also be on display, including the Hyundai Nexo, Jaguar I-Pace, Porsche Mission E, Volkswagen ID Vizzion, and Smart Fortwo EQ, plus the new Formula E race car.

As usual, there will also be a handful of jaw-dropping vehicles to look at, from the 789 bhp road legal McLaren Senna, all 500 of which have already been sold, to the stunning Polestar 1 coupe and the wacky Rinspeed Snap.

SPEED DATES: A shot from last year’s event with (inset top) the Ferrari 488 Pista and (inset bottom) the Rinspeed Snap.

2nd - 8th March

45

motoring

Audi shows off new A6 Photo credit Audi

QUIET DRIVE: Audi said the new A6 is capable of agility on country roads and will offer a comfortable drive on motorways.

GERMAN car makers Audi have unveiled the new A6 saloon which features improvements to its operating system and hardware.

The new A6, the eighth in the series of business class saloons, will be equipped with new and refined driver assist systems.

These include parking and garage pilots which are capable of self-moving the car in and out of spaces.

The company has claimed another major innovation in its driver assistance offering: the central driver assistance controller.

This is set to feature five radar sensors, five cameras, 12 ultrasonic sensors and a laser scanner which are all capable of modelling the environment around the car in detail.

Audi said the new A6 also has improved aerodynamics which will make for sporty handling and a quiet drive at high speeds.

The interior of the car is larger than it was in its previous incarnation. Headroom, legroom and shoulder room have all been increased and the boot has space for the equivalent of two golf bags.

Suspension tweaks have also been made to the new A6, which will allow for more manoeuvrability on urban roads, greater agility on country roads and a comfortable drive on motorways.

The A6 will be available with either a petrol or diesel engine.

Both models accelerate from zero to 100kph in 5.1 seconds and are capable of an electronically-limited top speed of 250kph.

The new A6 is set to hit showrooms in Germany in June 2018 and will have a starting price of €58,050.

The final frontier A RANGE of Citroen models will no longer be named after a Spanish painter.

It comes after the French manufacturer announced it will drop the Picasso name from its C4 people carriers, replacing it with the more futuristic Spacetourer moniker.

In a statement the company said that renaming the models to C4 Spacetourer and Grand C4 Spacetourer will create ‘a better synergy’ with its larger Spacetourer, which seats up to nine people.

The Picasso name has been used since the five and seven-seat C4 cars were launched in 2006, but the firm added that it has created an undesir-

able ‘break between the mid and large-sized MPVs.’ All the Spacetourer models are based on the same EMP2 platform although only 8,837 units of the larger model were sold in Europe last year, while the French firm shifted almost 100,000 Picassos.

46

2nd - 8th March

motoring

BMW 7 Series has the style and mystery for spy film THE BMW 7 Series has landed a major Hollywood role alongside Oscar winner Jennifer Lawrence in the new film Red Sparrow.

Opening in cinemas today, the film is a gripping spy thriller in which Jennifer Lawrence plays Dominika Egorova, a prima ballerina with Russia’s world renowned Bolshoi Ballet.

The BMW 7 Series accompanies Dominika on her journey from elegant and graceful ballerina to top secret agent.

The luxury sedan reappears at key moments in the plot, including the scene where Dominika is driven to the Secret Sparrow school for the first time.

As she is taken through the snow covered Russian landscape, the BMW xDrive intelligent all-wheel-drive system comes into its own.

Uwe Dreher, Head of Brand Communications at BMW, said:

LAW BREAKER: Jennifer Lawrence and the BMW 7 Series add real style.

“We were excited about this suspenseful adaption of the best-selling novel Red Sparrow from the beginning.

“Jennifer Lawrence as Dominika embodies an elegant and strong agent, and so the BMW 7 Series suits her character perfectly.”

BMW has made numerous appearances in the glamorous world of secret agents, including the groundbreaking remote control 750iL that featured in James Bond’s Tomorrow Never Dies.

BMW vehicles have also starred in the Mission Impossible franchise and the company is a long-standing partner of the Director’s Guild of America.

The film was directed by Francis Lawrence.

Mini folding bike goes up a gear THE new version of the Mini folding bike is a stylish all-rounder that is sure to appeal to design fans and Mini enthusiasts alike.

This collapsible twowheeler can be quickly loaded into any car boot with ease and provides a flexible and contemporary means of getting around.

The folding bike features a unique mechanism that allows the high-quality, lightweight aluminium frame to be collapsed and unfolded again in a matter of seconds.

A padded leather saddle, eight gears and 20-inch wheels make the bike extremely comfortable to ride, yet it weighs less than 11 kilograms.

The Mini folding bike is available at www.shop.mi ni.com and from selected Mini dealers.

It is priced at €650.00.