Published by Estrella Publishing LLC, PO Box 6962, Goodyear AZ 85338. Additional copies and article reproductions can be obtained for a fee by contacting info@EstrellaPublishing. com
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I discovered a startling fact the other day, in Tahiti there is no word for art. The closest translation is ‘I am doing the best that I can.’ The idea is that there is no perfection in creativity, you just try your best, because if you didn’t try there would be nothing.
We are all doing the best that we can with the knowledge we have at the time. Let that sink in for a minute.
The mother, frantic that she is doing everything wrong, or is making the worst decisions for her child. She is doing the best that she can. The intern at his desk, stumbling around, desperate to make a good impression on his boss. He is doing the best that he can. The senior citizen, pausing in front of a supermarket shelf, slowing everyone down in the aisle, not quite sure what beans to buy. He is doing the best that he can.
I am sure you are not perfect in your actions and thoughts either. You don’t know the answers to everything. You don’t know what to do in every situation. And in those moments of self-doubt,
concern and hesitation you wish for a little grace from others. I know I do. Frequently.
The number of times I have looked back at a decision or action and known that if I had more knowledge, insight or even confidence, things would have been different, is staggering. But just as with that fear of failure in beginning a task, the fear of looking bad, or doing the wrong thing in hindsight should not hold us back. As long as there is accountability in your actions. ‘I know that was not the right path, or the right decision, and given the opportunity I will do better next time.’
So hold yourself accountable, admit you were wrong, and move on. Take courage in the knowledge that you are imperfect, we all are, and resolve to keep ‘doing the best that you can.’
The percentage of Americans between the ages of 75-84 grew by 25% in the last decade and is expected to grow faster in the next one. Longevity has changed the way we view aging and family dynamics. Research has also shown an increase in cases of dementia. If dementia has entered your family, how does one know when to ask for help? The first step is to let go of the feeling that you need to do this alone, or that asking for outside help somehow means you aren’t caring for your loved one in the way they deserve.
More than seven million Americans have been diagnosed with dementia, with Alzheimer’s Disease responsible for most cases. That’s a lot of adult children, grandchildren, and other family members who are affected by the needs of a loved one with dementia. The life challenges to families of a loved one with dementia are more than meets the eye. They must learn to navigate issues like how to adult-proof a home or ways to talk to young children about what grandma or grandpa may be going through.
For caregivers, the journey can feel lonely and the demands overwhelming. As the cases of dementia continue to rise, community resources are becoming increasingly available to families and caregivers. Resources such as learning from the experiences of others, and in-home care that offers relief to many of the challenges such as hygiene, medication compliance, diet, and even who watches mom while the family takes a much-needed vacation.
As a mental health practitioner, I’ve learned that for many families the cost of accessing outside resources can be difficult. Please know there are affordable options for everything from counseling to full-time or occasional “respite” care, providing in-home primary caregivers some free time without worry. Resources to options for care can be found at Hearts for Dementia or by calling 480.720.9038, emailing info@ heartsfordementia.com, through the Governor’s Office on Aging at https://aging.azgovernor.gov/home and the Arizona Alzheimer’s Association at https://www. alz.org/dsw. Reach out for help, it is there.
Submitted by Lolita Tramel, Board Certified Psychiatric Mental Health Nurse Practitioner
Independence Day
Fireworks Safety
As Independence Day approaches and the excitement builds don’t risk injury or worse by mishandling fireworks. We’ve compiled a list of the top 10 tips for safely handling fireworks.
1. Always use fireworks outside and have a bucket of water/hose nearby in case of accidents.
2. If you have ground-based fireworks like a fountain, observing from at least 35 feet away is best. For aerial fireworks, you’ll want everyone to move back to a distance of around 150 feet.
3. Ditch faulty fireworks. The important thing to know is that you should never try to relight or approach a failed firework. Let duds sit for 5 -10 minutes before you put them in a bucket of water.
4. Supervise children when they are handling sparklers. Sparklers burn at about 2,000 degrees Fahrenheit; hot enough to melt some metals. Sparklers can quickly ignite clothing, and children have received severe burns from dropping sparklers on their feet or touching body parts.
5. Don’t forget about your pets! Fireworks can be extremely stressful for pets, but there are ways to help
reduce their fear and anxiety. Keep your pets indoors, close the curtains or blinds and turn on the TV to provide some distraction, and give them treats or toys filled with their favorite food (frozen pumpkin puree, peanut butter, and apple sauce are good options).
6. Soak both spent and unused fireworks in water for a few hours before discarding.
7. Never place a part of your body directly over a firework or hold a firework in your hand when lighting. To safely light fireworks, make sure they are secured on the ground away from people and animals and use a stem lighter such as a grill lighter.
8. Only light one firework at a time. Lighting multiple fireworks at the same time increases the risk of accidents occurring from a fuse burning faster than designed.
9. Avoid alcohol consumption when handling or using fireworks.
10. Consider safe alternatives to fireworks such as party poppers, bubbles, silly string, or glow sticks.
Control Yourself!
Control Yourself Pt 2
As promised, this month we’re talking about not taking things personally. Let’s start with this: Nothing is personal. That’s right, NOTHING. When we take things personally, it’s because we’re processing incoming information in the context of our own thoughts, feelings and vulnerabilities. This results in personalization, which generates defensiveness. Think about it…
Your spouse has a bad day at work and they come through the door and they take it out on you. Maybe they snark at you or slam something or tell you to leave them alone. They’re coming in with that vulnerability, with that stuff going on for them. You did nothing other than standing there when the door opened. So, it’s not about you. It may be directed at you, so it feels personal, but I assure you it’s NOT. Their reaction is all about them.
So, how do I respond, Dr. Jen? Remember last month when we talked about the amygdala…that brain structure that dictates emotion and is constantly looking for trouble? Well, you have to manipulate that little sucker into changing the way you react to incoming information. It takes practice.
Here are some ideas about how to do that:
1. Consider the intentions of those who offend you and what you TRULY know about them. Is your spouse TRYING to hurt you by coming home all in their feels and acting like a brat? No, they’re just cranky and misdirecting their upset.
2. Consider alternative interpretations of
events. Maybe your spouse is upset because they got some feedback today at work that they didn’t love. And maybe they’re taking it personally, and got themselves all spun up and don’t know another way to express their frustration.
3. Think about how you WANT to feel after the event or situation has ended. Do you want your nervous system all amped up, your blood pressure high, your attitude all janky? No? Ok, then don’t ALLOW your spouse’s poor emotional expression to get YOU worked up; they’re the one who had the bad day, not YOU.
Next month…how to manage the vulnerabilities that drive big reactions. Stay tuned!
DISCLAIMER: Material is for informational purposes and not intended to be a substitute for evaluation or treatment by a licensed professional. Material is copyrighted and may only be reproduced with written permission of Dr. Bellingrodt.
Cook With Zona
Chicken Pot Pie Noodle Skillet
Chicken Pot Pie is a heavily repeated meal in my home but just like everyone else in the world I get tired of the same old, same old meals and need to switch things up from time to time. I came across this recipe and I just knew it would become a fan favorite in my house! And just as I predicted I’ve become utterly obsessed with this dish and have made it multiple times in the last month. When a recipe is not only delicious but simple and almost impossible to screw up, it’s a big win in my book! Even my husband found this recipe extremely easy to follow along!
Traditional Chicken pot pie is a classic comfort food and this Chicken Pot Pie Noodle Skillet (I know, it’s a mouthful) gives off the same energy amplified by 1000! With all the same ingredients as your standard chicken pot pie, minus the crust that we’re essentially substituting with egg noodles. Whether you’re looking for a cozy weeknight dinner or a crowd-pleasing dish to bring to a potluck, this chicken pot pie recipe is sure to impress. So grab your apron and get ready to create a delicious and comforting meal that will have everyone coming back for seconds; or even thirds!
If you have any recipes you’d like to share with me I would love to try them out! Email me at ArizonaCooks71@gmail.com.
Ingredients
• 2 tablespoons unsalted butter
• 1 medium sweet onion, diced
• 3 cloves garlic, minced
• 1 1/2 cups frozen peas and carrots, thawed
• Kosher salt
• Black pepper
• 1/2 teaspoon Sage
• 1/2 teaspoon Thyme
• 2 tablespoons all-purpose flour
• 1 cup low-sodium chicken broth
• 1 cup heavy cream
• 3 chicken breasts, cut into small cubes
Steps
• Cook noodles al dente, according to package directions.
• Cook chicken your preferred way. Oven, stove top, or air fryer.
• In a large skillet, melt the butter over mediumhigh heat. Stir in the onion, garlic, and peas and carrots; season with the salt, pepper, sage, and thyme. Cook until onions are soft and translucent. Stir in the flour until combined.
• Pour in the chicken broth and heavy cream; bring to a boil. Reduce to a simmer. Stir occasionally until thickened, about 5 minutes.
• Drain the pasta and add to the skillet, along with the chicken. Taste and season with a touch more salt and pepper, if necessary.
ENJOY!
We love to see our neighbors’ delicious creations, so send us a picture of your creamy Chicken Pot Pie Noodle Skillet or tag us on social media @EstrellaPublishing.
Puzzle Time
This samurai sudoku puzzle is a great way to engage the brain and help develop logic skills. To solve this Samurai puzzle use standard sudoku rules for every 9x9 grid: each digit from 1 to 9 can only appear once in every row, column and 3x3 box. Solutions are on our website www.EstrellaPublishing.com
Legal Advice
AVOID PROBLEMS WITH IRA DESIGNATIONS
For 401ks, IRAs and other qualified retirement accounts, the designated beneficiary form directs how the funds will be paid on your death. Common problems that arise with beneficiary designations are: When the “Estate” or no beneficiary is listed, so a probate is needed and the IRA will be not be stretched for 10 years and will be taxed at a higher rate.
When a beneficiary dies before you, the financial company rules apply to who gets the deceased beneficiary’s share. When a trust is listed as the beneficiary, your directions are applied.
When the designated beneficiary is a minor, not a trust for the minor, then a costly court conservatorship is need and deferred tax benefit is at risk.
When your spouse, who is not your children’s parent, does not sign a spousal waiver, then your spouse is entitled to half or possibly all of funds.
Remember, currently, an inherited IRA must be paid in 10 years, if the beneficiary is not a spouse. Leaving a portion or all of your qualified retirement account to charity can make sense, because the charity does not pay income taxes and will receive more funds than a family member. Other assets which are not taxable can be left to family or friends.
Sharon Ravenscroft, M. Scott Rowan, Attorneys, The Cavanagh Law Firm, PA, Sun City and Phoenix offices, (623) 815-7451 or Sravenscroft@CavanaghLaw. com; legal practice focused on Wills, trusts, probate and trust administration. For more information visit www.sharonravenscroft.com
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UNDER CONTRACT 30122 N. 129th Glen | List Price: $769,900
SOLD 13054 W. Red Fox Rd. | List Price: $609,900 | Sold Price: $585,000 ‘Montis’, 1,700 SF, 2BR+Den/2BA/Ext. 2-Car Gar./Leased Solar | Date Sold: 5/30/24
