Vol I, 2022 ESSENTIAL WELLNESS MAGAZINE

Vol I, 2022

resources for inner peace, health and healing

staff

Vol I, 2022

essential wellness digital magazine

4 Joygasms: Feeling More Sexy, Sensual, and Happy

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Why Being Psychic Can Be Hard To Talk About

11 Sumak Kausay, Abundant Life

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Joygasms: Feeling More Sexy, Sensual, and Happy

By Lee Sumner Irwin

M

My friend Jill and I kicked off our shoes and settled into the couch on my back porch. She took a sip of tea and looked down, embarrassed. She was entering menopause and was feeling anxious because while making love with her partner Alex, her sexual desire seemed to be fading. Although sex had been a beautiful part of their relationship for years, now she was having to work harder to become aroused. She confided, “I’ve been overthinking it and getting distracted. Then I feel self-conscious, which is definitely a buzzkill. I’m afraid it means we’re going to lose what we’ve had.”

As we enter our wisdom years, many women, like Jill, worry that loss of sexual desire is inevitable.

We may assume changes in our bodies indicate it’s time to give up having sensual and sexual pleasure in our lives. But, contrary to the myths we’ve been conditioned to believe, we do not have to forfeit passion as we age. In fact, as Esther Perel, author

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of Mating in Captivity declares, “Passion is about a quality of aliveness. It’s about the permission to feel good.” Based on conversations I’ve had with female friends and clients, I believe we all want this full-on engagement with life where “joygasms”—spiritual, embodied, mental, emotive—shamelessly surprise and delight us.

PLEASURE IS OUR BIRTHRIGHT Not valuing our erotic selves can undermine our physical and emotional well-being and ultimately our potential for fulfillment in life. The medical view in the mid-nineteenth century was that women did not have organs of sexual pleasure.

But the truth is that women are designed to experience pleasure, and it’s our birthright to enjoy sensual satisfaction. As Eve Ensler comments in The Vagina Monologues: “It would be years before I learned that females possessed the only organ in the human body with no function other than to feel pleasure.” Most of us were not given sufficient guidance on women’s pleasure, and it’s hard to find accurate

information about this topic. Honestly, how many women know what reliably brings them to a satisfying orgasm? Whatever your age or situation—if you aren’t in a sexual relationship with a partner, if your partner’s sexual desire is less than yours, or if you’re ready to learn more about what feels good—now is an ideal time to become more familiar with your body and discover a variety of ways you can pleasure yourself. One valuable resource is an affordable, private membership website called OMGYes. Through discreet videos where women ages 18 to 95 demonstrate techniques and talk about their experiences, you can find advice and methods for enhancing your sexual enjoyment.

The information is based on research involving more than 20,000 women and is categorized so you (and a partner) can learn how sexual gratification differs for each woman. The founders, Lydia Daniller and Rob Perkins, created this site to normalize conversations on intimacy, stating: “We want people to see pleasure the same way they see cooking. If you read a cookbook, it doesn’t mean you’re a bad cook and need help. It means you’re probably a good cook, and you’re curious and want to explore and try new recipes.”

of time building our careers, making money, and taking care of other people but usually not much time making love or being transparent with our significant other. And the time we do spend often becomes a little humdrum if we’ve been with that person for a while, sometimes making us think our sex drive is disappearing. However, it doesn’t matter how many years we’ve been with a partner as long as we’re willing to start fresh with a different point of view, which Carter’s insights provide. Particularly enjoyable are her partner exercises, starting with eye-gazing and breathing together, then progressing to energy touch and genital massage. Another benefit is that this material reframes the idea of making love from an activity in which partners satisfy each other sexually to one in which they actively express love by engaging their imaginations, playfulness, and curiosity. What’s more, you don’t need to have a partner to explore this type of lovemaking. Tantra: Sex for the Soul reveals ways of working with your own energies. By doing so, women often report feeling more voluptuous and are pleasantly surprised to find themselves ultra-magnetic to new love.

SEX FOR THE SOUL

LIFE AS A SENSUAL FEAST

Techniques are valuable, but sex is most rewarding when we venture beyond the mechanics involved. To explore this novel approach, a helpful audiobook is Tantra: Sex for the Soul by Niyaso Carter, a guide for creating sexual awareness based on the ability to be transparent with another person. Tantra is commonly misunderstood to be a series of difficult, esoteric sexual positions. But to Carter it’s about the practice of being real with someone. We spend vast amounts

When we embrace pleasure, life becomes a sensual feast regardless of our stage of life. We don’t have to buy into the nonsense that older women are not sexy or that after menopause they can’t enjoy pleasure.

Consider these women who are seventy or better and whose talent, vitality, and grace remind us of the joy of being older and bolder: Tina Turner, Helen Mirren, Jane Fonda, Diana Ross, Cher, and Dolly Parton.

Aging doesn’t have to mean contracting. We can vow: CONTINUED PAGE 6...

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“I’m aging, and I’m expanding my mental flexibility, my resilience, and my ability to experience pleasure.

I’m expanding my imagination, my creativity, and my heart’s capacity for love.” If you’re not already turning yourself on to life, now is the time to begin. Cultivate awareness of what you are doing with your energy and how sexy you feel. It starts with your relationship with yourself and how you show up for yourself, including how you take care of your body, how you honor it, and whether you feel frumpy or self-confident in the clothes you wear. Every part of your day can be a mini pleasure ritual, from wearing a plush robe and cozy slippers to smoothing creamy lotion over your face, neck, and legs. Enjoy connecting to your playful inner child who

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greets life through her senses by touching, tasting, and getting messy as she savors the delights that give life sweetness. By staying curious about what brings you more alive, you will discover how to feed your inner fire and fall passionately in love with yourself.

Experiencing pleasure can be especially beneficial if your busy, overscheduled life is keeping you agitated. If that’s the case, you need more oxytocin—the pleasure hormone—to balance cortisol—the stress hormone— your body is producing. Fortunately, your body secretes oxytocin during many enjoyable activities, such as hugging, laughing, petting animals, hanging out with friends, practicing yoga, breathing deeply, performing random acts of kindness, meditating, enjoying massages, having orgasms, or listening to music. You just need to remind yourself: oxytocin over cortisol, fun over stress.

The more fun you have, the better you’ll feel and the more enthusiasm your actions will reflect, whether you are writing a postcard to a friend, stirring a pot of soup, walking your dog, or making love.

When you learn to embrace the pleasure you were born to enjoy, you will: • Love yourself and beam more love to others.

• Trade overwhelm and obligation for passion and ease.

• Inspire other women by modeling self-celebration instead of self-denial.

By nurturing the ability to receive pleasure, you’re likely to become the happy recipient of other perks, like fresh flowers delivered to your door, a new job offer, an upgrade to first class, or a fun dinner invitation when you least expect it.

AWAKEN TO THE POWER OF THE FEMININE Orgasmic energy literally creates this thing called life, reminding us of how connected we are to the creative source that flows through every living thing.

You, too, are worthy of having this energy course through your body and spirit until you burst into bloom. Experiencing joygasms awakens us to the power of the feminine to spread love over the planet, radiating the supple and generous energy of life to all.

As Dr. Clarissa Pinkola Estes, author of Women Who Run with the Wolves writes, “When women are glad they are alive, happy to be here, more conscious of love, and heightened with eros…that is sacred.”

Copyright © 2021 Lee Sumner Irwin. All rights reserved. From the book Radiant Wise Woman: Breaking Free from the Myths of Menopause and Aging. Find

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it on Amazon and all online booksellers. Lee Sumner Irwin is the founder of the Radiant Wise Woman proage movement, inspiring thousands of women worldwide.

She is an award-winning teacher, retreat leader, author, and intuitive guide for women’s transformation. Lee lives in Birmingham, Alabama, where she enjoys stargazing with her grandchildren.

Contact Lee for podcast interviews and speaking engagements: lee@leesirwin.com

To learn more: radiantwisewoman.com

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Why Being Psychic Can Be Hard To Talk About

By Chanda Parkinson

W

We all have psychic abilities. Everyone receives psychic information differently. Opening to the ways in which you personally receive can be one of the most gratifying avenues of exploration on your own spiritual journey.

It can be so challenging at times to speak openly about our psychic gifts. I want to discuss with you why this is so, and to offering guidance and tips around speaking more openly about your own experiences with those who are close to you. It is so important that we begin fostering and modeling attitudes of deep acceptance for all spirit-based practices and religions, not just some.

control. The more control the Roman Empire had, the more power it gave them to dictate how and where people would live, and how much land they could own and how much money they could earn and spend.

Over time, those in power used the Christian church to gain power over people, further blurring the lines between the political ruling bodies and God. A puritanical atmosphere was established over time vilifying pagan practices, the gifts of spirit, sex for pleasure, and reducing women to child-bearing, child-rearing members of society. It became common practice to punish people who were not conforming properly by imprisonment and death. Long held practices were forbidden. They were either hidden or abandoned by those who practiced.

Beginning as early as 60 AD, the Roman Empire began suppressing pagan religions and traditions, which were largely rooted in the gifts of the spirit, spirit communication, natural psychic or prophetic abilities, honoring the rhythms of nature, moon cycles, and worshipping nature deities. The singular goal was

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You likely have ancestors whose practices at one

time were more nature-based, and whose beliefs revolved around the respect and honoring of the cycles of nature, the planets and the earth. However, because of the choking off of those traditions, we have lost touch. Similar practices are indigenous to many parts of the world. Modern day spirituality has largely

been responsible for bringing us back to many of those practices. We have evolved, we are coming full circle, and we are finding our way back.

Due to hundreds of years of suppression, no wonder we are having a difficult time speaking openly about our own personal awakenings! Fear, shame, and guilt often grip our subconscious minds still, a thread of terror stretching throughout the ages, very much impacting our ability to be open and fully who we are.

Rigid religious messages have conditioned us to believe it’s wrong to explore beyond the rules and dogma of the church.

The first important step to overcoming the fear of speaking openly about your own psychic abilities is to remind yourself you are safe. The fear you feel stems from not only a fear of rejection and betrayal, but also from a collective suppression of spirituality that has built up throughout society over time. It is no longer 60 AD. We are not in danger of being killed for our eclectic spiritual beliefs or gifts.

The second step is to fully embrace and accept our own psychic abilities. If we are hesitant, others will be as well. To begin dismantling this fear means complete self-acceptance. We know there is nothing harmful about embracing our own gifts. When I first revealed my own psychic gifts and new professional path to my family they were shocked, and discouraged me.

However, there were many more who opened their hearts to me. Eventually my family grew to understand and accept my path.

Next, we must face the fact that some people will simply not be ready to learn the truth about us. People may need to distance themselves from us at first. Allow space. Invite questions.

Never tolerate bullying or abuse. Give others room to absorb the information and come around when the time is right. Some may never be able to find acceptance, and that should not stop us from being our whole selves.

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We are spiritual warriors here to open minds and hearts. It’s a path of courage to step in and to also be graceful with others who cannot initially accept that part of us. We can remind ourselves it’s about their own fear and ignorance, and nothing to do with us.

When more of us stand together, we continue to normalize the gifts of the spirit, and that voice of suppression grows smaller and smaller until it is merely a thing of the past. While we don’t want to forget history, our past doesn’t deserve a place at the table anymore. I do know that the anticipation of how others are going to respond was much worse than how most people actually responded to me when I first came out of the psychic closet. In fact, most of the time that revelation made others feel less alone in their own spiritual gifts, and opened an avenue of dialogue and mutual support for differing spiritual beliefs.

If together as a spiritual community we can adapt the narrative that we are all called during this time to foster a communal atmosphere of deep awareness and acceptance about the widely diverse

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and rich spiritual practices that exist on this planet, we further cultivate a more inclusive, harmonious planet. We build in attitudes of respect and freedom that permeate the consciousness and minds of future generations.

Chanda Parkinson, psychic intuitive, author, mentor, has been a professional Psychic Intuitive and Spiritual Teacher for over 16 years. She uses her psychic gifts, tarot and astrology to assist others through transitions in life with clarity and compassion. Her passion is helping budding psychics develop their own gifts.

She recently released the book “Meditations for Psychic Development: Practical Exercises to Awaken Your Sixth Sense” find out more about the book, services and events at http://www.chandaparkinson.com

To learn more: www.chandaparkinson.com

Sumak Kausay, Abundant Life

By Shirley Blancke

A

All human beings are distinct universes, with preoccupations, joys and sadness; we each have our own life. Because the head or the mind shoots off to one side or the other, we don’t realize what we are doing. Like radios, we human beings have frequencies also, and at times we tune in to anger and at others sadness or euphoria. What we need to do is find a frequency that tunes in to what in Spanish is called conciencia (awareness); to find that frequency that allows each one of us to know what we are doing, to feel when the wind touches us, to feel every movement of our bodies. To be at that level of awareness is to feel, be present.

It is essential to feel the elements if we are to receive nature’s gifts. We can feel water, air, fire, earth.

Everyone has a special element, an element with which we identify most, and this is the one with which we

have to practice. Children connect rapidly because they live in permanent contact and are always playing. Most people have already decided with their minds that things are serious. We may become bitter beings.

Feeling is a critical attribute in our lives. Colors become more brilliant, our eyes begin to see better and with more intentionality. Life is not the way one thinks of it, life is the way it is. We always need to give thanks for the gifts we receive. And when we receive these gifts from the Cosmos, we should also, in another way, return them to the Cosmos. Giving should come from the heart. Our Mother Earth gives us everything we need to live in a very generous way. Happiness flows naturally from people and is a beautiful way of giving thanks; living happily is a way of giving thanks to life.

To exist is a great gift. In Kichwa we call it Sumak

Kausay, life fully expanded, fullness of feeling. I could

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die now and that would be alright. In the same way that expressions of gratitude are offered when we feel things, in the same way love arises, love toward oneself, and much love towards people, one’s eyes see as well as those they don’t. When we experiment with this feeling of gratitude and love, there is happiness.

Happiness exists and happens.

And happiness is linked to giving thanks, including giving thanks for difficult moments, and for people who harm us, because this allows us to fly higher, to feel more, and have greater clarity and love.

let’s hand them over and let them go. The things we need to let go of are not necessarily bad, but are not useful at this time in our lives. We need to be grateful for those things that came to us at a certain time but not to hang on to them. We must say goodbye to them and allow them to leave. When we say goodbye to what preoccupies us, we will receive the things we need.

Many times we suffer because we don’t understand certain circumstances. Sufferings make many people become croppers, but they don’t want to let them go.

Many people carry too much baggage that has become unnecessary. The mind thinks we need to be weighed down with many things, but we need to keep in mind that if we were going to ascend a mountain, the more baggage we took, the more difficult it would be. Also, we would need to be ready to jettison entirely the things we did not need to carry

The different elements, Allpa Mama (Earth), Waira mama (Wind), Nina mama (Fire), and Yaku mama (Water), help us get rid of these difficulties. There are some difficulties and diseases that water can cure; others that the wind can help to distance; others that mother earth can change; and still other problems and illnesses that fire can transform. We can

further. We need not carry sorrow, preoccupations, or sufferings, whatever it might be that preoccupies us,

let go of unnecessary baggage in many different ways, for example through laughter. Laughter helps us leave

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many things behind. To be too serious doesn’t allow us to let go of things.

remove these negative conditions and turn them into things that are sublime.

Wind is therapeutic because it helps us to clear our minds, to distance ourselves from unnecessary thoughts. The wind relaxes and frees us. When we are full of disturbances and sorrows, we can try to feel the wind. We need to allow wind to cleanse our mental blocks. It can take away many things in our souls and give us the things needed, but only when we let go of the prejudicial baggage will be able to receive the wonderful things that life wants to give us.

For Earth’s help, we need to lie on her, bury ourselves in her, feel her love; she too helps us be liberated from what we need to be free of.

Water frees and cleanses us from things we don’t need in the same way, because it too cleans us inside and allows us to flow, and it doesn’t allow us to get stagnant.

Fire too allows us to walk away from our emotions and sad situations that we may have lived at a given moment. This prompting that sacred fire offers us enables us to give over to it all our sorrows, illnesses, sufferings, vices, and cleanse them, that is to say, burn them, get rid of this baggage we are grasping. This will be effective if we feel how the elements are working on

Shirley Blancke is an archaeologist and anthropologist, who for 40 years has been reconstructing the 10,000-yearold Native history of Concord, Massachusetts, with help from Massachusetts Native Americans. She has also learned traditional sacred dance from a Hawaiian kahuna and hosted a ceremony for an Oglala Lakota medicine man.

She studied shamanic traditions with Hank Wesselman for 10 years and has worked with Ecuadorian yachak don Alberto Taxo for seven years. She lives in Concord, Massachusetts.

The Way of Abundance and Joy by Shirley Blancke © 2021 Destiny Books. Printed with permission from the publisher Inner Traditions International.

To learn more: www.InnerTraditions.com

these things, but it must not be done in a mechanical way. We have to see, feel, listen, how the elements

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Medicine and Miracles in the High Desert: Guide Southern Utah. Spring 1972

By Erica M Elliott, MD

T

The last manmade structure shrank to a black dot in my rearview

I could tell from the faintness of the ruts that this stretch of road had not been traveled for a long time.

mirror as I drove down the cracked, potholed highway without a car in sight. The unmarked turnoff to the left was barely visible between juniper trees and sagebrush, the place where the pavement turned to dirt. I had already explored this region of southern Utah once before during my time off from teaching, but this particular turnoff had escaped my attention.

As I meandered along, daydreaming about my new life among the Navajo people, I saw something tan out of the corner of my eye. A coyote with a long bushy tail darted in front of my slow-moving Bronco.

Although I spent most of my weekends taking the students in my class to their remote homes in and around Canyon de Chelly, this weekend I had decided to return to Utah to explore the backcountry.

After I left the paved highway behind, the next 40 miles of deeply rutted tract led me into vast stretches of high desert wilderness. Red rock slabs, towers, pinnacles, and cliffs soared into the cobalt blue sky.

The crisp air smelled pungent with the essence of piñon pine and cedar.

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Farther down the road, I suddenly remembered what one of the kids in my classroom had told me during our informal discussion about Navajo mythology. He said, “If Coyote crosses your path, turn back and do not continue your trip. If you keep traveling, something terrible will happen to you. You will get in an accident and get hurt or killed.”

I wondered if I should turn around and go home.

But I decided that the Navajo cultural beliefs didn’t apply to me.

The rutted tract ended at a little spring. I kept driving a few more miles until I came to what looked like a sanctuary of rock formations, a perfect place to stop and explore.

After scrambling around the rocks, exploring caves and crevices, I came upon a little pool of water, a catchment basin for the infrequent rains—a natural bath in the middle of the desert. I slipped into the pool and pointed my face directly at the sun with eyes shut but still feeling the brightness streaming in.

of musk that goats have during sexual maturity. We moved through them, trying to catch one of the sheep.

The smell of the Billy goat grew stronger and stronger.

The smell became so strong that it overpowered all my senses. When I felt my back on the hard rock, I realized that I was not in a corral, but in my sleeping bag and wide awake. Yet the smell of musk had followed me out of the dream and was still filling my nose. Before I could open my eyes, I heard a sniffing sound right next to me.

When the sun went down, a chill quickly settled over the rocks. In my bare feet, I hopped from one slab to the next, keeping clear of the sharp spines of the cactus.

Having no flashlight, I wanted to be sure to find the perfect sleeping spot on a flat rock to spread out my pad and sleeping bag before it got dark.

But it actually never got dark--the moon was full overhead, bright and electrifying.

I sat up in my sleeping bag and sang love songs to the moon until sleep overpowered me.

I dreamed that I was in one of the sheep and goat corrals belonging to the family of one of my students.

We were in the corral looking for a sheep to butcher for a ceremony. There were a few goats, including a Billy goat that smelled rank with the strong scent

Without moving, I opened my eyes, and--Oh My God, I am being sniffed by a mountain lion, inches from my face!

His head was so close that I could see his black whiskers in the moonlight, the white fur around his mouth, and the tawny-colored hair on the rest of his face. I closed my eyes, frozen in fear, waiting for his claws to dig into my skin and tear me apart. Nothing happened.

I barely breathed while my heart pounded loudly in my chest. I stayed paralyzed for what felt like hours.

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By the time I found the courage to open my eyes, it was daylight; the sun had already appeared on the horizon.

Amazed that I was still alive, I looked around. There were no tracks visible on the sandstone rock. When I began stuffing my sleeping bag into its sack, the hair on my forearms stood straight up. The distinct scent of musk wafted up my nose—the only remaining evidence of the lion’s presence.

I drove to the nearest town 40 miles down the road and, at a gas station, I told the attendant of my experience. He said, “Ma’am, you’re one lucky gal to be alive. Them cats can rip you to shreds in no time.

The reason that damn cat didn’t kill you is cause you were too scared to move.” The attendant said that if I had fought the mountain lion or tried to get away, I would for sure have been killed. “Mountain lions go after things that move.”

Mountain lions populated my dreams night after night for weeks. I awoke from these dreams with the feeling that the mountain lion was trying to communicate something to me that I didn’t fully

The old Navajo woman took a few puffs from her tiny hand-carved pipe as my friend told the story of my encounter with the mountain lion. Toward the end of the story, a toothless smile lit up her ancient, deeply lined face. For the first time during the visit she looked right into my face and spoke directly to me, no longer diverting her eyes in deference. My friend translated her words.

The old woman said that the lion was my spirit guide. He came to me to give his courage, strength, and intense focus to help me face what lay ahead. She said I would encounter obstacles in my life, some big and life threatening, and, if I lived through them, I would have “a strong heart and powerful medicine to give to the people.”

Erica M. Elliott, M.D., is a medical doctor with a busy private practice in Santa Fe, New Mexico. Referred to as “the Health Detective,” she has successfully treated patients from across the country with difficult-to-diagnose health conditions. She served in the Peace Corps in Ecuador and lives in Santa Fe, New Mexico.

understand.

A few weeks after my encounter with the lion, one of the Navajo teacher aides in the boarding school invited me to visit her grandmother, who lived alone in a hogan deep in the canyon.

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