Fall 2020 Essential Wellness magazine

fall 2020

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resources for inner peace, health and healing

staff

fall 2020

essential wellness digital magazine

4 Trikaya Buddhism: Ancient Teachings for Authentic Living in the 21st Century

By Turiya

Twin Cities Wellness aka Essential Wellness 4270 Honey Tree Pass Danbury, WI 54830 PUBLISHERS Dee & Lynn LaFroth

8 What can Feng Shui do for you?

It can be life-changing

By Carole Hyder and Lisa Janusz

10 ADVERTISING Dee LaFroth sales@esswellness.com 715.259.3047 EDITOR Lynn LaFroth lynnlafroth@icloud.com ART DIRECTION Soleil Graphics RECEIVE ESSENTIAL WELLNESS BY EMAIL Send us your email to receive twice-monthly Celebrate Wellness e-news and quarterly digital Essential Wellness info@esswellness.com

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Finding Compassion for Myself

By Malcolm Stern

13 You, Too, Can Create Everyday Miracles

By Valerie Lis, MA, founder of Simplified EFT Tappingâ„¢

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Trikaya Buddhism Ancient Teachings for Authentic Living in the 21st Century How Trikaya Buddhism is different from other Buddhist schools and why you should practice it

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TRIKAYA BUDDHISM IS a modern approach to the Buddhist Path in which ancient teachings are integrated into daily life through practical, real world applications.

Teachers of Trikaya Buddhism serve as guides and as catalysts, with an understanding that each student is responsible for their own Awakening.

Not all who practice Trikaya Buddhism become monks. Taking ordination as a monk of Trikaya Buddhism is a sacred commitment. Monks become part of the network of Enlightenment until they dissolve in nirvana. While some monks may leave their

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practice, a part of their consciousness will remain on the Buddhist path. From the perspective of Trikaya Buddhism, there is no such thing as a former monk.

Compared to other Buddhist schools, there are seven significant differences: 1) FEMALE MONKS Monks can be male or female. The designation of gender is the beginning of conditioning in the dualistic world; ultimately, there is no difference between the male and female practitioner. Manhood or womanhood does not exist apart from this conditioning. By ordaining both women and men as monks, it is affirmed that both are equal on the Path.

2) NO SPECIAL OUTFITS Monks and non-ordained students of Trikaya Buddhism live and work in the world. They do not shave their heads or wear robes as a sign of being a monk. Monks wear whatever clothing is appropriate for their work. Being a monk is a private relationship with Enlightenment and with other practitioners that supports one’s determination to awaken. Outward signs that can degrade into symbols of pride or spiritual elitism are avoided.

3) MARRIED MONKS Monks can be married or single, and celibate or not. Becoming a monk is a serious commitment to Enlightenment and one’s spiritual path. On the Path practitioners use everything in one’s life as a teacher.

Whether a monk in the Trikaya Buddhist tradition is married or not, or celibate or not, is determined by what will provide the practitioner the most stable foundation for their practice.

Some monks find it easier to renounce the external world and relationships. If they are in relationships, they can get lost in them. External renunciation aids in the internal release of attachments. In essence, for them external relationships distract from practice.

Others find it easier to renounce the attachment to relationships and the world inwardly. For them, external relationships highlight their attachments through day to day life, and they are given the opportunity to release them. Intimate relationships are an especially potent teacher. Through constant pressure, monks can move into detachment much faster than if they were to isolate themselves. Alone it’s easy to pretend there are no attachments when in fact, there are.

Of course, both options require a great deal of self-honesty and commitment to the spiritual path. In Trikaya Buddhism, both monks and nonordained practitioners are encouraged to evaluate how relationships impact their practice.

4) DEVOTION Devotion is held for Enlightenment and one’s practice; it’s understood that tradition and rituals provide a supportive structure, but may change over time.

Many Buddhist schools place emphasis on Lineage.

They tell new students they should commit to a tradition because they learned it from their teacher, who learned it from their teacher, and so on through many generations back to Buddha Shakyamuni.

In Trikaya Buddhism, students are encouraged to prove the teachings for themselves through their personal life experiences. From day one, students are told that hearing the teachings is not enough; the practices must be utilized in daily life to see if they hold up. Students are expected to question teachers about all aspects of practice. When done with respect, this results in a continuous refinement of both the students and the teachers.

5) NON-LINEAR PATH Trikaya Buddhism follows an organic spiral-shaped pathway in which a practitioner cycles through the beginning, intermediate, and advanced teachings over the course of many iterations. On this pathway, it is known that the “secret” advanced teachings are not meant to be kept hidden; rather, they are called secret because they do not make sense until one has attained a certain level of awareness. New students are exposed to CONTINUED PAGE 6...

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CONTINUED FROM PAGE 5... these advanced teachings with the encouragement to continue their practice through any confusion they face and strive for their own realization.

For practitioners of Trikaya Buddhism, Buddha’s Noble Eightfold Path is a circle represented by the Dharma Wheel that begins and ends with meditation.

People can spend lifetimes exploring just one of the spokes and all the variations found within that one aspect. Those who follow the path of Trikaya Buddhism begin with meditation and move around the whole circle, deepening their realization with every cycle.

6) ALL TEACHERS ARE HONORED Within Trikaya Buddhism, there is a deep respect for everyone who walks the spiritual path. There is an

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understanding that everyone is on the Path, even if they are not aware of it. Enlightened Teachers of all traditions are honored, and practitioners observe how these Teachers share the Dharma in their unique ways.

Teachers of other traditions are studied to enhance the understanding of the Enlightenment process and to inspire practice.

7) NON-HIERARCHICAL The new school of Trikaya Buddhism is not a traditional hierarchy. Rather it is organized by consensus and cooperation of its members, currently under the spiritual leadership of TurÄŤya. Teachers share their practice and experiences on the path with students. While teachers make recommendations and offer guidance, it is up to the student to explore the practices offered and discover what methods will work given their circumstances. This allows

CONTINUED FROM PAGE 13... practitioners to develop self-trust while testing the teachings in a supportive environment.

Using a combination of both anti-bacterial and antiparasitic herbs while also detoxifying the body is an If you want to be told what to do, Trikaya Buddhism integrative health approach that assists in ridding the is probably not for you. On the other hand, if you body of this pernicious ailment. In addition, adjunctive are adventurous, willing to investigate your mind’s herbal medicine been rebellious, shown to then safelyTrikaya aid in workings, and evenhas a little remedyingcan infections thatinto manifest as arthritis,in damage Buddhism lead you Enlightenment this to the central nervous system or weakening of the heart. lifetime.

People who value honesty, self-reliance, and Providing will pain and stimulation the community excelrelief with Trikaya Buddhism. of While system, is works a natural, oneimmune can practice at any acupuncture level, this pathway best forcomplementary those who haveapproach decided that that further they have suffered assuages the enough are ready devote themselves to the path. healthand challenges of to Lyme Disease.

Practitioners quickly discover that what they put into their practice what theyailments get out ofofit.allergies and Lyme Besides the isspringtime Disease, Throughwhat the are teachings Trikaya Buddhism, you other of areas of your health where willacupuncture learn how can to meditate, practiceaid? mindfulness, and be an invaluable manage your energy. Whether you decide to follow the Path to the advanced levels into unreasonable joy, inner STRESS MANAGEMENT peace, and Awakening, or if you simply wish to gain some Stress is a major cause of lost work hours, sick days control of your mind and build a stable foundation, the and lowered productivity in both home life and the workplace. But it doesn’t have to be a mainstay in your life! Acupuncture is a holistic remedy that can balance both your emotional and physical well-being so detrimental stress factors don’t diminish your daily vitality. Scientific research shows that acupuncture

practice promises to bring power and freedom into your life. For those called to a more profound connection, releases neurotransmitters such as endorphins, serotonin formal monk ordination and teaching empowerments and norepinephrine. More and more hospitals, are given through Dharma Center of Trikaya Buddhism clinics and corporate employee wellness programs in San Diego, CA. If you are ready to do the work are incorporating acupuncture into their preventive on the pathway of Trikaya Buddhism, the rewards of healthcare offerings as a way to address stress-related confidence, patience, balance, and clarity are waiting. illnesses.

Turīya is a Buddhist monk, teacher, and author who, BOOSTING THEchronic IMMUNE despite living with pain, SYSTEM founded the Dharma A combination of acupuncture and Center of Trikaya Buddhism in Sanherbal Diegomedicine in 1998has to been proven to be impactful in building immunity to share her path. For over 25 years, she has taught thousands are teachers, used for and balancing, ofprevent studentsillness. how to Chinese meditate,herbs trained helped harmonizing andunreasonable cleansing the system. people discover the joy ofbody’s our true nature.They Her canbook treat “Unreasonable a wide array ofJoy: health issues and an accredited new Awakening through Trikaya Buddhism” (Electriccan Bliss) is published October 2020. herbal consultant detail how to useinthem as adjuncts to medications.

Take the first step PAIN MANAGEMENT towards unreasonable at Pain is a significant distraction forjoyanyone!

Pain www.TrikayaBuddhism.com medications can be expensive or addictive, often only addressing pain symptoms not the cause. Today we are aware of the dangers of opioids and need to find safe alternative paths for pain relief. Acupuncture helps many pain conditions, from pulled muscles to headaches to backaches and more. Pain symptoms can be reduced in as few as six sessions. Many types of pain

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What can Feng Shui do for you?

It can be life-changing

By Carole Hyder and Lisa Janusz

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MANY PEOPLE THINK that Feng Shui is about moving furniture around, interior decorating, or buying things.

But really, Feng Shui is very personal and customizable to you. You’ll definitely experience shifts—both within your space and within yourself— as you incorporate it in your life. That’s what’s so empowering about making even small changes; they can help you move forward in big ways.

Feng Shui is a powerful modality to create change in your life. The more you practice it, the more it becomes a lifestyle. Whether you are new to it, or have been practicing it for years, there’s always something new to see with Feng Shui eyes.

If you are new to Feng Shui, you might first be wondering what it is. Feng Shui is an ancient Chinese practice of arranging your living and working spaces for optimal flow and balance. It’s all about energy and how your environment not only affects, but also reflects, your life.

By now, most people have at least heard of Feng Shui.

Although how people finally get to Feng Shui can be all over the board, for us it was a very similar starting point.

Carole Hyder: I heard someone speak about Feng Shui at a conference. At that moment, I realized that I had intuitively been doing Feng Shui since I was a little girl. I just didn’t have the context or structure for why. The speaker turned me on to 8 www.esswellness.com

His Holiness Professor Thomas Lin Yun. Lisa Janusz: It was the same for me! I was working with someone who was going to hear someone speak about it at a bookstore. She thought I would be interested—and of course she was right. I was captivated. I immediately bought one book, then another, then another—I did a lot of reading initially.

Feng Shui has definitely changed our lives for the better. When we’re asked about how it’s changed our life, the impact can be seen on how we live our life and make decisions.

Carole: Feng Shui informs not only decisions about my home and office but also about my life.

Understanding and applying the principles of yin and yang help reinforce inner balance when I may be struggling with some disparities. The Five Elements structure exemplifies the power of change and movement which helps me through my own inner upheaval.

Lisa: I would say I live a Feng Shui lifestyle; it’s changed my entire outlook and approach to daily living.

It goes back to that empowerment piece, where when things are challenging or in flux, I rely on what I’ve learned to take a fresh look at myself and my spaces. It also clarified a lot for me in terms of why certain spaces are at times uncomfortable. Looking with Feng Shui “eyes,” I understand what is happening and in some cases I can make changes with the tools I’ve acquired.

We’ve been doing it for so long that is really is second nature these days. But for newbies, it can be

a lot of information to take in at once. When we speak in public, we’re often asked where to start. We usually point people in the direction of two main areas of their house: bedroom and front door. Those are highly influential spaces of your home. The bedroom is (hopefully) the room you spend the most time in and should be set up to support rest and intimacy. Taking a look at what is there—like clearing clutter (especially under the bed!) and fixing anything that’s broken are good starting points. Then, if it isn’t already, think about how you can make it your favorite room.

The home’s front door is the mouth of chi (energy).

So it’s where energy enters your space and starts to flow (or not depending). You’ll want to make sure it’s welcoming and has curb appeal. You’ll also want to make sure you’re using it regularly (yes, even if you have an attached garage!).

In addition to those two areas, another topic you’ll come across a lot is: clutter. That’s another place to start checking your space with “Feng Shui eyes.” In our world, everything holds energy, so clearing out “stuff” can impact your mental and physical health in a big way. It can reduce overwhelm, as well as open up new opportunities.

There’s a lot of Feng Shui information out there, and because there are different schools of thought, it can get confusing. The best advice we have is to get started by shifting something (clear some clutter, move things around). That will often inspire your next action. There are free resources on the internet (including articles and some webinars on our site) that will get you moving in a good direction.

But if you want a truly customized approach, do think about having a consultation by a certified professional. We recommend someone who has been through training to ensure you’re getting some of them more nuanced advantages of what Feng Shui can offer.

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Patrice Connelly 651.222.8282 www.questfields.com ABOUT THE WIND & WATER CENTER Learn Feng Shui and more with the Wind & Water Center. Feel empowered to create change within yourself and your environment through virtual classes and programs. We make it easy to learn through videos, webinars, and articles. Check out our continually expanding offerings (some are free!) through our catalog. https://catalog.windwatercenter.com/catalog. Also, we have free articles and a monthly newsletter that you can find through our website www.WindWaterCenter. com. Simple changes in your space can result in big changes in your life. Find out how with us.

Carole

Lisa

Hyder

Janusz

For more information, please visit www.WindWaterCenter.com fall 2020

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Finding Compassion for Myself

By Malcolm Stern

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AS A PSYCHOTHERAPIST, I stress to clients that it is not what happens to you that truly counts; it is how you respond to the challenges that life will inevitably throw your way.

In 2014, I had to take a large dose of my own medicine. My daughter Melissa took her own life after a period of mania, followed by deep depression. She was 33 years old and had led a prosperous and happy life apart from a severe

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breakdown 10 years previously. She married a fine man named Ian, working tirelessly for Kids Company and was rich with friendships and passions.

Nothing prepares us for the loss of a child. For me, it was as though the fabric of my world had subtly and permanently altered. The best advice I got was from a friend who told me that I would think I was thinking and acting normally, but in truth, that would be impossible while the shock worked through my body, mind, and emotions. I found it hard to access my feelings.

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I tried therapy to unlock my grief, but a part of me had frozen and was paralyzed, keeping at bay the enormity of the pain locked away inside me. It has taken me years to begin to come to terms with the loss of Melissa.

Fortunately, in addition to the pain and confusion, there were many lights on my journey. Firstly, I recognized that I needed support. I discovered which friends could accompany me on my grief path and stay present with me and care for me.

COMPASSIONATE MENTAL HEALTH My ex-wife Amanda (not Melissa’s mother, but a loving stepmother) and our children Michael and Alix, bonded in our grief and mutual loss. I joined a sixweek course run by the Samaritans for those affected by the suicide of a loved one and found myself sharing my pain with others who understood the process. I was approached by Brigid Bowen, who was starting a series of gatherings called Compassionate Mental Health, and asked if I would open the meetings and offer workshops around sharing our stories.

I would start each of these gatherings with Melissa’s story, allowing my emotions to be an integral part of my sharing, knowing that in expressing my feelings, I was permitting others to unlock theirs and also a means of embracing my loss. In Atsitsa , where I have been teaching since 1985, as part of a series of courses on holistic themes, the whole community helped create a mosaic, honoring Melissa, a part of the staff team in her early twenties.

Melissa became a part of all the talks I gave in various environments. Gradually my grief started to unlock as I slowly came to terms with her loss and its impact on my family and me.

I discovered an unexpected outcome of facing my loss. My work deepened as, having traveled to the depths of my suffering, it became more comfortable to accompany others in their journeys of discovery.

In some strange way, I had earned the right to go the distance with those whose paths I crossed.

Slowly, peace and acceptance became a part of my psyche. For three decades, I have been teaching in my groups and with individuals that there is no quick fix on the road to self-discovery and healing. There is a richness in embracing life’s challenges with a series of practices.

Very few of us have spontaneous awakenings and find ourselves freed from being at the mercy of life’s iniquities. We find many ways to divert from painful challenges. Most of us are addicted in obvious and subtle ways. Plumbing the depths involves a lifetime of practice.

I have long understood that practice is the key. When I was training in Humanistic Psychology, a woman cathartically let rip in a roleplay around her mother. The venom and fury were explosive, and there was hushed awe in the therapy room at her capacity to access the depths of her pain.

I was dumbstruck and believed that she had exorcised her pain in her fullness of expression and revolutionized her ability to move on from her horrible childhood.

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Some two years later, she was still ranting at the specter of her mother. Nothing had changed at the core —only brief respites had granted some relief.

This experience colored my thinking. Over many years it dawned on me that while catharsis is a fantastic safety valve, there is no substitute for becoming conscious of our patterning and taking on daily practices to evolve the loving and wise self that resides within us.

SLAYING YOUR DRAGONS WITH COMPASSION Some are deceptively simple, such as Bearing Witness, where the practice develops presence in relationship with others or learning to trust and follow our intuitive wisdom, which can be easily undermined by our logical self. Others are more demanding of resilience. The practice of Slaying your Dragons with Compassion, for example, helps us speak our truth in a way that can be received by another. It is also about confronting our internal dragons, becoming conscious of the patterns, and learning to refine our integrity.

Two basic principles are at the foundation of the practice Slaying Your Dragons with Compassion: 1. Always endeavor to speak what is true for you and 2. Never hurt another more than is necessary.

Another practice involves creating what the Buddhists call a Sangha—keeping company with fellow pilgrims on this temporary existence on Earth.

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The essence of our relationships are based on awareness, understanding, harmony, and love.

Thich Nhat Hanh says this about sangha: “Sangha is more than a community. It’s a deep spiritual practice. A sangha is a community of friends practicing the dharma together to bring about and contain awareness. The essence of a sangha is awareness, understanding, acceptance, harmony, and love. When you do not see this in a community, it is not a true sangha, and you should have the courage to say so.

But when you find these elements are present in a community, you know that you have the happiness and fortune of being in a real sangha.”

My recognition and embracing of practices that enhance my spiritual life and understanding have provided a new way of understanding the work I have been doing for most of my life. At the same time, I am honoring the life of my beautiful daughter Melissa, who taught me so much and who I still miss every day.

Malcolm’s third book, “Slay your Dragons with Compassion—Ten Ways to Thrive Even When it Feels Impossible,” is published through Watkins, September 2020.

For more information, https://malcolmstern.com

You, Too, Can Create Everyday Miracles

By Valerie Lis, MA, founder of Simplified EFT Tapping™

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YOU, TOO, CAN create everyday miracles. This is a big promise. But it’s true. You can learn how to create everyday miracles. Literally. What, exactly, does that mean? To answer, we need a few definitions.

WHAT IS A MIRACLE? According to the American Heritage® Dictionary, a miracle “excites admiring awe; a wonderful or amazing event, act, person, or thing.” It “appears inexplicable by the laws of nature.” What is an everyday miracle?

Everyday miracles have two components: First, they are described as wonderful, amazing events — miracles by the people who experience them. And, they are commonplace, natural — everyday experiences for the people who help create them.

As an EFT Tapping practitioner, trainer, and mentor for over 20 years and the founder of Simplified EFT Tapping™ (SEFT), I can make this promise. Through the use of SEFT processes and tools, our community has made the impossible possible. And, we do it every single day. Follow our simple instructions. And, you, too, can create everyday miracles.

HERE ARE A FEW OF OUR EVERYDAY MIRACLES: • A woman in her 80s ended her session dancing on tiptoes in her kitchen. She had been a victim of pain and had spent over a decade confined to a wheelchair.

The pain was completely gone in less than an hour.

• Procrastination caused a client to delay filing income taxes for three years. By the time the session ended, she was eagerly working on taxes with a huge a smile on her face!

• Many examples of clutter problems — the kind they make TV shows about — have been easily, permanently and consistently resolved.

• A client’s fear of snakes was eliminated — in just minutes.

• In a single one- hour session, the deep-felt anger that led to her addictive patterns was dissolved.

• Her insatiable cravings for chocolate and sweets were gone in minutes.

• He walked into the session with a gluten sensitivity. When he walked out, the gluten sensitivity was gone.

• She was finally able to leave an abusive relationship and, for the first time in her life, felt optimistic about her future.

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• He had social anxiety and an intense fear of rejection. Both issues were gone in the first session.

• More than 40 people in a 2-hour Zoom session followed the 2-Step SEFT Process for chronic pain.

They all had a drastic reduction or eliminated their chronic pain. Some had been suffering for years.

• A 10-year old girl began the session feeling worthless. She said she felt like a piece of garbage. The transition came moments later when she said, “That’s

potential and wanted to know more. No matter how you got here, if you have been searching for an easyto-follow guide on tapping, you’ve come to the right place. There is a simpler way to tap.

This faster, easier approach is the core of Simplified EFT Tapping™ (SEFT). The guiding principles that form the background of SEFT were combined into a short 3-Step Process. This process, which is often done naturally by new and seasoned practitioners, can be

not true anymore!” There was an immediate and permanent shift in her confidence level.

Every day, members of our SEFT community create these kinds of miracles for themselves and the people in their lives. And, you can too.

blended with almost all EFT styles.

This is an exciting innovation!

The SEFT 3-Step Process is the fastest, easiest way to tap. When you follow these steps in your sessions, you will become more effective. It is truly simple; the entire process can be summarized in only six words!

HERE IS THE BACK STORY EFT Tapping was created about 25 years ago. With only eight or nine tapping points, it is a short process.

Over time, it has increased in complexity. There are now dozens of styles with distinct steps and procedures.

Thousands of relatively ineffective scripts were developed to resolve problems with emotional distress, cravings, pain, abundance, limiting beliefs, food and chemical sensitivities, sports performance, and many other issues. With complexity, has come confusion.

You may have already tried tapping and found it easy to learn. As you continued to tap, though, you may have become more frustrated. Perhaps, you discovered it doesn’t always work. Or, EFT Tapping may not have worked for you at all. Or, you recognized its vast

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The SEFT 3-Step Process: 1) Get emotional.

2) Tap. 3) Evaluate and refocus.

This sounds overly simplistic, but it is truly the place where miracles begin. Learning about the 3-Step SEFT Process is just the start. SEFT includes dozens of unique tools and approaches to eliminate emotional and physical challenges and boost wellbeing. All the basics can be found on the website: http://simplifiedeft.com The website also provides blog post videos with instructions and tap-a-longs on many topics. These include:

• Exceptional Results on Chronic Pain • Law of Attraction and Tapping to Reach Your Goals • Tapping to Resolve Worry and Sadness • SEFT to Eliminate Financial Stress • How to Win Contests • And, more!

To go deeper into these tools and approaches, you may be interested in Simplified EFT Tapping™: How to Get Exceptional Results Every Time You Tap. This book includes a dictionary-style A-Z guide with hundreds of hints and tips to clear almost any issue.

Although it was written for practitioners, you will also find it worthwhile for your own self-work.

There are many other options for SEFT training: • Attend live online workshops. These include Level 1, Level 2, and Specialty Workshops such as Limiting Beliefs and Health Challenges. Workshops can lead to practitioner certification. They can also be taken for personal use.

• Go through online video courses in Teachable.

• Watch the Global SEFT Tapping Summits.

• Book one-on-one sessions with certified practitioners, certified trainers, or founder Valerie Lis. • Sign up for the newsletter to receive updates on instructional videos, trainings, blog post videos, and other freebies.

THE GRAND VISION You, too, can create everyday miracles and make a profound difference in the world. Yes, this is a big promise. But, follow the instructions and tap. You will get results with the SEFT Process in no time. If you do it, it will work.

As a heart-centered community, we believe SEFT

has real potential to improve the world. Those who tap to eliminate their own fears, anger, hate, and shame cannot help but evolve into gentler, kinder people.

They naturally transform into authentic, loving versions of themselves, fully empowered to move into their greatest potentials.

As the movement continues to grow, we believe everyday miracles will become the “norm.” Wow — can you imagine the profound benefits this will create for humanity? We are joyful and excited for you to join us on this journey!

P.S. Capes and tiaras are optional.

Valerie Lis, MA is one of the leading experts on Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT Tapping) and is the author of “Simplified EFT Tapping™: How to Get Exceptional Results Every Time You Tap.” Many of her clients have achieved miraculous improvements in their emotional and physical health, often in only 1-3 sessions. Examples include freedom from pain after decades of suffering, relief from addictive cravings, elimination of food and chemical sensitivities, and complete shifts in limiting beliefs and unhealthy thought patterns. A faculty member, Valerie also teaches a variety of courses at a Minnesota (U.S.) state college. In all her roles, Valerie provides amazing selfempowering tools to her clients, students, and audiences, supporting positive change in just minutes!

For more information, please visit http://simplifiedeft.com

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Live Well.