Millenial woman august issue 2016

AUGUST ISSUE PRICE: 35 ZAR

Leader Profile: MAMOTAKE MATEKANE Write your story in 12 issues

Grooming: Hair Make Up Health

WOMAN

You have the power to create the life you want.

Never allow life to just happen.

Contents 8

Leader Profile Felistus Senwamadi interviews MGC’s Head of Marketing & Corporate Communications, Mamotake Matekane

13 True Leaders The Art of true leadership

16 Spirit of Success

Victoria Nish CEO of Millenia Publishing shares her story of growth

20 What’s your story?

Discover the writer within and write your own biography

22 Dealing with Toxic Bosses Thalia Holmes talks about the difficult experience of working for toxic bosses and how to deal with them.

25 Big bully Learn how to identify and cope with bullies in any environment.

30 Financial Planning and wealth management A conversation with Setshwano Ngope about building financial security.

33 First impressions

Felistus Senwamadi takes a serious look at our own personal brand in building good and lasting impressions.

37 The business plan Xolani Meva gives a summarised but succint overview of the business plan especially as it applies to financiers.

41 Tips for creating your logo Victoria Nish unpacks the creative process of logo design and offers some tips.

4

46 massage or physio Charne Celliers guides us through our options to help us make better choices of therapy.

48 5 tibetan rites: yoga Learn the basics of Yoga with these easy but powerful exercises.

50 recipes for healthy eating Try a delicious but very healthy Green Smoothie or our colourful African Grain Salad.

53 the african afro Ben David shares his insight in caring for hair especially when going green or natural with your Afro.

55 welcome to just jill Our make up and grooming specialist shares tips on how to apply make up like a pro with REAL WORLD FACES. Jill also helps us tame our brows and then takes us on a guide to buying the right make up brushes for the perfect look.

64 psychology of colouring Louise Parker, artist, tells the tale of colouring in psychology and offers 2 beautiful art pages for us to colour in.

66 colouring pages for adults 68 life: reader’s story Nyeleti Maluleka, our first reader story is filled with insight and wisdom.

L u x u r y

m a g a z i n e

f o r

5

t h e

A u t h e n t i c

W o m a n

Publishers: Millenia Publishing Editor: Victoria Nish Advertising Sales: Felistus Senwamadi Contributors: Jill Snijman Thalia Holmes Ben David Charne Cilliers Betsi Thamane Setshwano Ngope Xolani Meva Louise Parker Nyeleti Maluleka Felistus Senwamadi Victoria Nish Email: victoria@milleniapublishing.co.za Email: felistus@milleniapublishing.co.za www.milleniapublishing.co.za

A heartfelt welcome to Millennial Woman!

This magazine is our very first issue and a culmination of life experiences compiled in one publication. It’s purpose is to edify women all over the world to be the best of you!

We are conditioned through out life to behave and think in socially acceptable ways. These teachings have not always served us and we have often found ourselves falling short of success or fainting at the sight of challenges.

Yet a true principle is that we are created and designed to succeed! There is no reason that we should fall short or shrink personally. Unless we choose to. Our minds and spirits are more powerful than we could ever begin to imagine or give them credit for. In this publication we will teach you how to rise above circumstances, social norms and limited thinking.

My desire is for you to enjoy the power of self and elevate yourselves above what you think possible. To realise that you do not need to labour in suffering but can feel joy and happiness in the midst of trials.

Enjoy this first issue. May you find deep meaning and experience a soul changing journey. May you be uplifted and edified beyond comprehension.

Love and light to you

6

Elevate Inspire Create Websites Social Media Online campaigns Strategy

T: 081 306 2828 E: victoria@espitbrandprint.co.za www.espritbrandprint.co.za

Leader Profile: Mamotake Matekane Marketing Powerhouse ‘The true quintessence of a Millennial Woman is she who believes she can change the world, one idea at a time.’ Millenia Publishing

Millennial Woman embarked on a

subsidiaries in aviation (Maluti Sky

quest to showcase progressive,

offering public air transportation

dominant and influential female

services

leaders across the continent. These

Services), property development,

women have redefined and continue

mining

to challenge the fundamental crux

Boutique Hotel). Millennial Woman

of leadership in the entrepreneurial

interviews Mamotake Matekane

space and some as prominent

who is at the core of Marketing &

figures in large corporations which

Communications for MGC and its

spread across various industries in

extensive operations.

Africa.

and

and

Private

hospitality

Charter

(Mpilo

Mamotake was born on the April 6th 1986 in the mountain Kingdom of

In this sensational journey, our first issue

of

Millennial

Woman

Lesotho. After completing her high school in Navalsig High, Mamotake

celebrates Mamotake Matekane

progressed to varsity and graduated

who is the Head of Corporate

from the University of Free State

Communications and Marketing for

with a Degree in Business Com-

Matekane Group of Companies

merce (Accounting). She started her

(MGC) Lesotho.

career in 2007 at the African Renaissance Chamber of Commerce and

MGC

is

a

multi-million

Rand

Industry (South Africa) as a business

corporation established in 1986 in

consultant until 2008 where she

Lesotho. The MGC realm has grown

was focused on improving opera-

over the years and developed into a

tional efficiencies through strategy,

multi-faceted

coaching & training and business

corporation

8

with

Interviewed by: Felistus Senwamadi

She was promoted to General Manag-

Marketing operations of MGC, Mamot-

community based projects has im-

er within a year of service. In the year

ake Matekane also runs V M Business

proved and contributed to my interper-

following her promotion, and driven by

Services founded in 2012 which houses

sonal and communication skills and also

her entrepreneurial spirit, Mamotake

two companies namely Phororong Wa-

adding value to my life through compas-

left the company to start up Mamotake

ter (supplying purified mineral water in

sion and empathy. With a solid account-

Business Consultants where she was

over 10 of the biggest companies in

ing background, I fell victim to

overseeing all operations and supervis-

Lesotho) and V M transport & Construc-

innovation and creativity, hence my

ing other Business Consultants as Oper-

tion, another rapidly growing entity.

success in the marketing industry.

In

Millennial Woman: What do you most

ations Manager and Managing Director.

She later closed operations due to family commitments. In 2011, Mamotake joined the former Matekane Transport and Plant Hire as an Account Assistant, a largely financial-based role but her hard work led her to be promoted to Senior Public Relations Officer within

catching

up

with

Mamotake

Matekane for our first cover feature,

value in life?

Millenial Woman tried to understand

Mamotake: The most valuable aspect

how a mind such as hers runs and how

of my life is my two beautiful children

she has managed to fly up the corporate

who keep me on my toes daily and a

ladder as the epitome of a millennial

loving and supportive husband who is

powerhouse.

also my business partner. I am a woman of character, who loves God dearly.

the same year which was a strategic role. In 2013, Mamotake was again

Millennial Woman: Who is Mamotake

promoted, this time to the position of

Matekane?

Millennial Woman: Give 1 word/phrase that best describes you.

Marketing Manager, a role which was advanced to Head of Corporate Com-

Mamotake: I am a self-driven woman

munications in 2014 and is the role she

who is highly motivated by challenge

currently holds. This role comes with

and the thought of knowing I can make

the immense responsibility to lead the

a difference in both my work and in the

entire MGC marketing function through

lives of others. For the past nine years

a turnaround, and if her self-drive, pas-

my career has taken quite a hike from

sion and history of career progression is

being a simple business consultant to

to set precedence, then she seems to

heading a department in a group of

be the right woman to do so. When she

companies; a world class multi-million

is not running the Communications &

Rand company. My involvement in

9

Mamotake: Passionate

“I believe change starts with ME.�

well on my way to making

juggling 3 balls and playing the piano.

the Forbes List. *Smiles*

*laughs*

Millennial Woman: What are

your

biggest

challenges in your role?

Millennial Woman: How do you handle setbacks (how do you react/what do you do when things do not go your way)?

Mamotake: Having to balance managing a family business that is a highly recognised corporate can be

very

challenging.

Millennial Woman: What gets you up

Knowing what my goals and objectives

in the morning?

are is very imperative as a constant reminder of the vision. The complexity

Mamotake: I make sure that I always have a plan and a strategy in place. This helps immensely in unexpected situations. I try my best to always put emotions aside when dealing with any situation. Crisis management is my

Mamotake: I live a purpose driven life

and diversity of Matekane Group of

forte. With consideration of the indus-

that can only be channelled by God. The

Companies has taught me quite a lot

tries I operate in, one should always

spirit of giving plays a big role in my life

and helped me in my multi-tasking

have a plan on how to counter any situ-

and it humbles me daily to know that I

skills. The company operates under dif-

ation.

can impart change in others’ lives and

ferent industries such as construction,

my work as well. I believe change starts

mining, property development, hotels

with ME.

and aviation which introduces complex-

where it all went wrong. All those

ities to begin with.

around you lose faith in you if you give

Millennial

Woman:

What

drives

you/makes you tick?

Other than my daily job, I also have a family to take care of, a business I am

I usually take a step back and trace

in. If the situation is unchangeable, there is always an alternative. It is im-

growing and other commitments that

portant to never commit to the public

Mamotake: I am driven by knowing that

range from Corporate Social Investment

until you can revert back with factual

every dream is achievable! And that I am

projects and other projects. It is like

information for any situation.

10

I am driven by knowing that every dream is achievable! And that I am well on my way to making the Forbes List.

Millennial Woman: What are the

Millennial Woman: Who is your biggest

Mamotake: National Executive Commit-

greatest lessons you have learnt in your

inspiration? Who do you look up to and

tee of the UN Habitat Committee, Elect

career and in life in general?

why?

of the Obama Foundation African Lead-

Mamotake: I am nobody without God. Mamotake: I have learnt that God is in control of every situation and one should never consider themselves better than another. Life has a way of teaching us a lesson.

In my career, the most important thing I have learnt is to never judge anyone by the decisions they make at work, not

And that is who I look up to. Coming

ers 2016, Board Member of a Financial Services Provider; LESANA Lesotho

down to earth, my biggest inspiration is

Millennial Woman: What piece of

my CEO, Mr Sam Matekane, a man that

advice can you give other women about

came from humble beginnings, started

working for success?

with nothing but ended up with every-

Mamotake: This to me is a very person-

thing. He is a true reflection of God’s

al statement and topic. Women are war-

mercy combined with hard work and

riors and should know their worth. The

perseverance.

first step is to fear God, then respect and

everyone can differentiate between

The support I get from my family in-

work and personal matters and profes-

spires me daily because with my daily

sionalism is not as easy as we would all

schedule I tend to be overwhelmed but

like to believe. Cultural diversity plays a

with their constant support, I am able to

big role at any workplace.

overcome all obstacles.

Most importantly, treat everyone with

Millennial Woman: Any other achieve-

dignity, they deserve it.

ments you care to share with us?

honour yourself. Love yourself beyond words, be happy and content with everything you have and never let anyone convince you that you are worthless or will never reach any heights.

You are a Warrior! Act and feel like one!

You are a warrior! Act and feel like one.

11

Great leaders become great, not because of their power, but because of their ability to empower others John Maxwell

True Leaders Taken from www.leadershiptrainingtutorials.com

What is leadership? The dictionary

intense opposition, rejection, failure, and

themselves

defines leadership as, “a person who by

even personal hardship.

compensate for them.

force of example, talents, or qualities

I believe a true leader is one who

pays a directing role, wields commanding

maintains

influence, or has a following in any

adherence to an internalized, but

sphere of activity or thought.” Neale

otherwise generally accepted code of

True leaders genuine.

Donald Walsch writes that, “A true

moral values; who adheres to utter

They do not use false facades or “poker

leader is not the one with the most

sincerity, honesty, and candor in all

faces.” Instead, they say what they mean

followers, but one who creates the most

communication;

avoids

and mean what they say. They are aware

leaders.”

deception, expediency, artificiality, or

of their own inner voices and selves, and

an

uncompromising

and

who

shallowness of any kind in all situations.

with

colleagues

that

are

strive to know themselves better

Jack Welch defines a leader as someone

Quite a tough ideal to live up to, I know.

who knows that “before you are a leader,

Then again, when you look around, how

success is all about growing yourself.

many TRUE LEADERS exist in today’s

When you become a leader, success is all

world?

True leaders responsible.

believe the truest and best leaders were

So what does it take to be a leader? Here

They take total responsibility for

those who lead from the heart and who

are ten qualities of today’s most

followed their own values. Leaders like

successful leaders.

about growing others.” I personally

Abraham Lincoln and Jesse Jackson.

Leaders like Andrew Carnegie and even Bill Gates. They had a vision and were

True leaders know who they are.

unafraid to follow that vision in

They know their strengths so that they

accordance with their own spiritual,

can maximize them, and they know their

moral, and personal beliefs, despite

weaknesses so that they can surround

13

everyday.

are

themselves and for their behavior. They take responsibility for the results and consequences of their behavior. More than that, true leaders even take responsibility for their subordinates or others for which they feel accountable.

True leaders integrity.

have True leaders are caring.

They understand that the ONLY viable, marketable quality in today’s global economy is CHARACTER. MerriamWebster defines character as, “a composite of good moral qualities typically of moral excellence and

the future. They focus on the big picture and can describe that picture to their

They know that their “purpose” as a

colleagues,

subordinates,

business

leader is to SERVE those that they lead.

partners,

Therefore, they have genuine concern for

understand the long-term effects of the

the people they lead. They never belittle

tasks that need to be completed today,

or humiliate others; and they do not

the desired outcomes of those tasks, and

discount the opinions of others, even

how to communicate the immediate

when they disagree with them.

needs of the business in terms of their

firmness blended with resolution, self-

and

customers.

They

future vision.

discipline, high ethics, force, and judgment.” Every society and every culture values these qualities, which are core to a leader’s integrity.

True leaders have a vision.

They translate the here and now, the immediate moment, into their vision of

14

Merriam-Webster defines character as, “a composite of good moral qualities typically of moral excellence and firmness blended with resolution, self-discipline, high ethics, force, and judgment.”

True leaders are open to change.

their contributions may not always be

others, the more they are fulfilled

the best contributions!

themselves and the better they and their business become.

They listen without ego or prejudice;

need to be, and may not be, the RIGHT

True leaders courageous!

idea. They realize that new ideas and

They understand that doing the RIGHT

Nobody is perfect, and it is unlikely (if

thing is oftentimes not the EASY thing.

not impossible) that today’s leaders

and they know that THEIR idea does not

new perceptions are key to progress and improvement. This key trait keeps them, and

their

businesses,

flexible,

responsive, and innovative in today’s ever-changing business environment.

are Beyond this, true leaders are authentic.

They are prepared to fight for their beliefs. They are not swayed by the judgements and arguments of others, merely

to

avoid

conflict

or

confrontation; particularly when those judgements or arguments do not serve

True leaders value the contributions of others.

the greater good. Most importantly, true

Leaders understand the value of

causes personal hardship!

talented individuals. They understand that their colleagues and subordinates

traits. But go back to the first of these traits. True leaders KNOW WHO THEY ARE. They are honest with those around them, and more importantly, they are HONEST WITH THEMSELVES.

leaders will do what is right EVEN if it So, what does it take to be a leader? It takes the COURAGE to look at yourself

teamwork and the synergy created through the combined efforts of several

have EACH and EVERYONE one of these

True leaders leaders!

create

The best leaders treat each individual as

in the mirror and truly see what qualities you have and what qualities YOU DO NOT HAVE! It means taking that

must be valued, and they are secure

unique. They teach, coach, advise, and

inventory, acknowledging what you may

enough in their own right to allow others

even assist people who need it. They

need to work on, and then making the

the opportunity to contribute. More

understand that the more they facilitate

commitment to do the work!

importantly, true leaders recognize that

the improvement and advancement of

Spirit of Success A personal account, by Victoria Nish It's been a more than a year since I

flow can make or break you and if you

started my own business and this year

And so the list of questions goes on and

has been the highlight of my learning life.

on.

don't have a solution you could land up looking back on your plans with bitter

After working with entrepreneurs or business owners for more than 12 years

So let's say that you have the right

I thought I knew what it took to start and

business model, you have your strategy

run your own business. I had it all sorted

down to a fine art and you are rearing to

in my head and on paper but I very

go and you hit the tar running at full

quickly realised how flexible and resilient

speed.

I must tell you there are a few characteristics that saw me through my first and then subsequent BUMPS. Not all

business owners have to be ... especially in that first year.

nostalgia.

of them were cash flow issues but many

Nice hey?

were related. One of my greatest So what is the process?

Excited and enthused by your own

● Well you first need to know what you

adrenaline no one can stop you...until

want your business to do, and then

you hit that first cash flow hurdle. BUMP!

with the right shareholders and the right mix of shareholding. I don't see many

how you would do it. ● What products are you going to sell?

challenges was setting up my business

You turn to look around…

● At what cost will you sell them?

articles commenting on this decision making process but it is a very serious

● Is there a market?

What was that? And where did it come

● Which products are the cash

from?

choice and requires a fine toothed comb.

It requires 100% honesty with yourself of

generators and which take more time to sell? But once sold, are on the top

Well let me tell you that the BUMP is

your shareholders commitment to the

end of your profit list?

every business owners nightmare. Cash

vision and mission of the company.

16

I had one prospect who kept going off on I had onetoprospect whoofkept going off a tangent sell all sorts products thaton a tangent to sell all sorts of products that were lucrative but had nothing to do with were lucrative but had nothing to do with the core of Esprit Business Services. We the core of Esprit Business Services. We would have wasted precious time chasing would have wasted precious time chasing a whole bunch of markets instead of a whole bunch of markets instead of focusing on our core strategy. focusing on our core strategy.

Ok so back to the characteristics.. What Ok so back to the characteristics.. What are they? I am speaking from my own are they? I am speaking from my own personal experience here so these may personal experience here so these may differ in importance and relevance to differ in importance and relevance to other business owners depending on skills other business owners depending on skills sets and strengths, however, I do believe sets and strengths, however, I do believe that most ofof which I mention that most which I mentionhere herewill willhit hit home. home.

Passion.

Passion.

Belief in Yourself and Belief in Yourself your Business.

and your Business.

Wow, if you don't believe in yourself you

will easily become discouraged.

I have Wow, if you don't believe in yourself you noticed the become subtle snide remarks I from will easily discouraged. have noticed theand subtle snidebombs remarks from competitors the sour thrown and the sour bombsfelt thrown incompetitors my path and I have personally the in mythat path and I have personally feltand the effect has had on my self esteem effect that You has had onbe mystrong self esteem and my psyche. must mentally my psyche. You must be strong mentally and emotionally. Those international stars and emotionally. Those international out there don't have personal coaches for stars out there don't have personal nothing. They are constantly bombarded coaches for nothing. They are constantly with hate mail and challenges within their bombarded with hate mail and challenges skills set and they have to work hard at within their skills set and they have to keeping up the pace and staying positive. work hard at keeping up the pace and I cannot this enough.

Without stayingstress positive.

I cannot stressbelief this

.

inenough. yourself and subsequently business Without belief inyour yourself and

Oh that beloved word! People think that then those challenges and obstacles will subsequently your business then those Oh that People think that if you havebeloved passionword! you can do anything eat into your personal will strength challenges and obstacles eat into and your if you have passion you can do anything.

Passion is very powerful and very eventually personal strength and eventually break break you down. Remain Passion is very powerful and very you down. focused, feed with your important in the mix but it is not the only focused, feedRemain your mind and soul important in the mix but it is not the only mindpositive and soul with Remove good, the positive factor influencing success. That passion good, influences. bad factor influencing success. That passion influences. Remove the bad and the that you have must be kept alive day in and the negative. Don't allow negativity to that you have must be kept alive day in negative. Don't allow negativity to be fed and day out. You need to feed it. The best be fed into your mind and develop a and day out. You need to feed it. The best into your mind and develop a powerful food forfor meme is isclosing food closingfabulous fabulousdeals dealsand and powerful sense of discipline to not sense of discipline to not entertain seeing the improvement my interventions seeing the improvement my interventions entertain negativity from anyone. I enjoy negativity from anyone. I enjoy have onon the lives ofof others. have the lives others.If Ifyou youare arenot not meditation and prayer, exercise and meditation and prayer, exercise and passionate you feed don't that continuous learning to feed me on an passionate andand you don't thatfeed passion continuous learning to feed me on an passion then you will not survive those then you will not survive those BUMPS. almost almostdaily dailybasis. basis.

BUMPS.

Perseverance/ Perseverance/ Determination.

Determination.

Synonymous with each other, in my mind Synonymous each other, This in myismind this was my with saving anchor. the this was my saving anchor. This is the determined partner to belief in self. Gosh, determined partner to belief in self. Gosh, if I tell you how many times I was if I tell you how many times I was presented with the opportunity to give up presented with the opportunity to give up and walk away from my dreams I would and walk away from my dreams I would lose losecount. count.How Howmany manytimes timesI sat I satbefore beforea

Meditation, prayer, exercise and learning feed me on a daily basis

17

a brick wallwith withno no solution to brick wall tobreak breakit it down, get over it or under it or

Energy Levels.

functions at a much better level giving you the edge you need.

I am a highly energetic person. I probably work hours that most people find around it. How many times I felt hopeless and demoralised and exhausted. At every point that I met those BUMPS in my path I closed my eyes, remembered my dream and fed my spirit and pushed forward anyway. I moved anyway, no matter how difficult, no matter how tired I was and not matter how dismal my progress looked, I moved anyway. I feel that this is the key. To trust your belief and move forward despite the odds. It takes great personal strength and power of self to move past these rocks but if you don't keep moving forward you won't move and you will eventually step away. My

ridiculous and crazy but I can and I want to. Sometimes I don't want to though.

And there have been a few times where I have had to question my health and revise my day planner...much to my disappointment. The lesson here is that we are not robots and we have a physical body that is susceptible to getting sick.

Look after your body and take very good care of your health. I also had to revise my pace and learn to pace myself against my own body's ability to function. I strongly counsel you to do the same. Burn out is an ugly troll and it can hang around

Stay Focused.

Losing focus will send you in all sorts of directions that will have you treading water and not knowing where you are.

Start with a few key products that you know will generate cash and profits to help your business root itself in the market. If you are dabbling in selling too many different types of products, you land up hoping that one of them will root itself. This is a dangerous gamble. Your brand and products root because of your actions. Your active pursuit of clients and markets and entrenching your footprint into those markets create the fertile

motivation to you is stay on your path and

for a very long time. It also affects your

ground for your business to root and

keep moving forward. The only reason

psychological outlook and seriously

grow. It is very easy to lose focus if you

you walk away is when you see that the

affects your productivity. Feed your body

get excited about a product that isn't

feasibility of your business is highly

with lots of green vegetables and if you

necessarily high in profits but is fun to

questionable. Even then, you rework the

can consult a dietitian then do so. The

sell. Remember that for your business to

idea and repackage it to help it become

impact of a healthy diet and exercise is

be healthy it needs a healthy approach to

feasible.

phenomenal and improves your overall

establishing itself where it intends to

energy and mind state. Your brain just

grow.

Losing focus will send you in all sorts of directions and will have you treading water and not knowing where you are!

Being authentic allows the light of your soul to shine.

Be Authentic!

Be your Dream.

Be Authentic.

Live the Law of Attraction everyday and

I cannot stress enough how important it

every minute. Live in the state of being

is for you to be authentic. Authenticity is

that you would be in if you had already

about being honest with yourself about

achieved your goals. Live with a mindset

yourself and project your true self to the

of abundance and prosperity. Live with

world. The moment you try and be

from day to day. There are certainly more

gratitude and love for all. Yes I am getting

something you're not you will hit wall

than these but these are my key

all esoteric on you now but it is a true

after wall and you will not have the

characteristics that have shifted my

principle. I don't mean spend money you

power of your natural talents to help you

don't have, but rather spend wisely and

achieve your goals. This principle is a life

within your means and feel the power of

principle. It is relevant in any and every

success in your heart. I am not a specialist

area of your life. By being authentic you

in this field but it is certainly a field that

allow the light of your soul to shine and

profound journey. Whether you are a

I want to find a partner in, because I

you will naturally attract the right people

business owner or not growth is

believe

owners

to you. You won't be able to hide your

imperative and growth is required for you

understood this principle then many of

passion and energy for your goals and

their blockages would dissolve. I have

your life. People are drawn to positive

seen it happen in powerful chunks this

people and love being around positive

last year and as I grew in ability to

people. Its contagious. When you are

They are always learning and edifying

practice this law I saw more abundance

incongruent with your self you will always

their minds, and in turn they edify others.

come into my life. Now, I just want to give

be troubled, feel displaced and feel out

away abundance. It is a fabulous feeling

of whack with the world. Because you

and it empowers me to feel good. It

feel this way, you will project the same

automatically dispels negativity around

feeling of energies back into the world

you. Find a coach to help you. It will be a

instead of your beauty of soul and power

very good decision.

of authentic being.

that

if

business

19

Please know that every one of these characteristics are seamlessly interwoven with each other. It is a network of elements that create your eventual strength and help you move forward

whole being into a different gear. I wish I could plug right into everyone of you and help you through this journey. It is a

to feel fulfilled and happy. The most successful people I know chase learning.

Enjoy your journey!

What’s Your Story?

If you are anything like me you have probably thought about writing a book.

Perhaps you have even if you have jokingly mentioned that “you could write a book” with all that has happened in your life. Well, I am here to challenge you to do just that!

Writing an auto biography is a process and perhaps it’s this process that trips many up as it requires some patience and quiet time for reflection. If you have kept a journal throughout your life, this will certainly help you in creating your master piece. This section of the magazine is a series of articles that will take you step by step through the process over the next 12 months. This first article is about getting started and helping you put into perspective those things you need to get your story shaped and ensure that you don’t go off on tangents, confusing the reader.

The following 6 steps have been taken from WikiHow: www.wikihow.com

Write…

Write out your life timeline.

Identify the main characters.

Creating a timeline of your life is a good

Every

way to make sure you include all the most

characters, friends and foes who help

important dates and events, and it gives you a structure to build upon. You can consider this the "brainstorming" phase, so don't hesitate to write down everything you can remember, even if you don't think the memory will make it

good

story

has

interesting

move the plot along. Who are the characters in your life? It's a given that your parents will play a role, along with your spouse and other close family members. Think beyond your immediate family to others who have affected your

into the final version of the book.

Your autobiography doesn't have to

life and should play a role in your

begin with your birth. You may want to

autobiography.

include some family history as well. Write

Teachers, coaches, mentors, and bosses

down information about your ancestry,

are extremely influential in people's

your grandparents' lives, your parents'

lives. Decide whether someone who has

lives, and so on. Having information

been a role model (or the opposite) for

about your family history will help readers get a sense of how you became the person you are.

you will figure into your story.

Ex boyfriends and girlfriends might costar in some interesting stories.

What happened when you were a teenager? What led you to make the

What enemies have you had in life?

Your story will be boring if you don't

decisions you made?

Did you go to college? Write about those

include some conflicts.

Offbeat characters such as animals,

transitory years, too. your

celebrities you've never met, and even

relationships, your children, and any big

cities are often points of interest in an

life-altering events that occurred.

autobiography

Write

about

your

20

career,

Pull out the best stories.

The identity crisis story. This usually

accomplish

The story of your entire life would start

occurs in the 30s or 40s, and is

ments, with

to get pretty long-winded, so you'll have

sometimes referred to as a mid-life crisis.

all

to make some decisions about what

The story of facing down some force of

negative

anecdotes you're going to include. Begin

evil. Whether its your battle with

drafting your manuscript by writing out

addiction, a controlling lover, or a

the main stories that will be woven

madman who tried to kill your family,

together to create a picture of your life.

you've got to write about conflict you've

There are a few main topics that most

experienced.

them fascinating

Write in your own voice.

The childhood story. Whether your

People read autobiographies to gain

childhood was happy or traumatic, you

insight on what its like to be someone

a picture of who you were and what you experienced at the time. You can tell the story of your childhood by breaking it down into smaller anecdotes that illustrate your personality - your parents' reaction when you brought home a stray dog, the time you climbed out the window at school and ran away for 3 days, your friendly relationship with a homeless person living in the woods . . . get creative.

The coming of age story. This heady and often sensual period in a human's life is always of interest to readers. Remember that it's not about writing something

material carefully kept under the

rug.

Present yourself as a whole person,

autobiographies cover since readers find

should include a few anecdotes that give

the

sharing talents and flaws alike, and your readers will be able to identify with you

else. Being authentically you is a sure way to keep people engaged. If your

and hopefully root for you as they make their way through your story.

Don't always cast yourself in a positive

writing is formal and stiff, or if it reads

light. You can have foibles and still be the

like a college essay instead of an expose

protagonist. Reveal mistakes you've

on your life, people will have trouble

made and times when you've failed

getting through the book.

yourself and other people.

Write as though you're opening your

Reveal your inner thoughts. Share your

heart to a trusted friend, in prose that's

opinions and ideas, including those that

clear, strong and not too cluttered with

may spark controversy. Be true to

vocabulary words you rarely use.

yourself through your autobiography.

Write so that your personality is revealed. Are you funny? Intense?

Spiritual? Dramatic? Don't hold back;

Capture the spirit of the times.

your personality should come through in

How was your story shaped by the

the way you tell your story.

moment in history in which it took place?

What wars influenced your politics?

unique; everyone comes of age. It's about writing something that resonates

Be revealing.

What cultural events inspired you?

with readers.

You don't have to be explicit, but it's

Discussing what happened in the world

The falling in love story. You could also

important to reveal truths about yourself

at large during your lifetime is a good

write the opposite of this, the never-

and your life in an autobiography. Don't

way to make your story more relevant

finding-love story.

let the book become a list of your

and interesting to those reading it.

21

Dealing with TOXIC bosses

By Thalia Holmes “I’ll never forget the way my friend

at me in front of clients, and tell patrons

Maritz, Industrial Psychologist at Vulpes

introduced me to the job,” said Emma*,

how stupid I was. She would go out of

Consultants points out the myriad of

a cum laude marketing graduate who

her way to undermine every effort I

was looking for a part-time role while

made. She’d take all the credit for the

she furthered her studies. “He said, ‘I

good things I did. No matter how many

know of a great position – if you can

happy customers I had, it was

handle the boss.’ I consider myself a

impossible to do right in her eyes.”

peoples’ person, so I remember thinking

negative effects a bad boss can have on their employees.

“Individuals become disengaged,” said Maritz. When that happens, “people

‘I’ve got this!’ Little did I know how

Emma’s story is one familiar to all too

lack mental motivation and energy for

wrong I was.”

many. Research conducted by The

work-related tasks. People switch to

Emma’s new role was at an upmarket

People Element consultancy found that

auto-pilot. Often they experience

restaurant in a wealthy part of

South Africa loses as much as R3-billion

anxiety and even physical symptoms

Johannesburg. It paid generously per

a year to workplace stress, burnout and

of stress such as vomiting, weight loss

hour and fit in well with her study

other stress-related issues -- often

and and so forth.

schedule. But the ‘perfect job’ came at

imposed issues are created by a

a price.

manager. In many instances, the situation becomes unbearable. A 2015

“The manager immediately targeted

study in the US revealed that a

me. It was clear that she felt threatened

whopping 50% of employees had quit

because I was the only one there with

their job to get away from their boss.

a degree. She made it her daily business to demean me in whatever ways she

But by the time it comes to quitting, the

could,” said Emma. “She would scream

damage has often been done. Bernard

“Additionally, a toxic boss can actually cause heart attacks!”

SA loses R 3-billion a year due to workplace stress

Vera discovered first hand how a toxic

Maritz added his own list of red flags.

boss whittled away at her productivity.

“Other characteristics to look out for

She’d worked happily for nine years as

include stubbornness, someone is self-

the PA to the Managing Director of a

orientated, overly demanding, impulsive

large corporation. But eventually, her

and interruptive.”

“Unlike a bad friendship we can’t merely choose to distance ourselves from the bosses we hate.”

Page advises to observe the ‘nature of the beast’ and manage your life in their

boss retired and was replaced by a new As with Emma, you might think you’re

presence accordingly. “When you are

up for the task of handling a difficult

confronted with a spitting cobra, the

most

employer. “At first I took it almost as a

best defence is to keep still rather than

demotivating person I’ve ever worked

personal challenge,” she said. “I wanted

to

for,” she said. “He gave me no

to prove that I could tough it out.” But

movements – the same applies to a toxic

responsibility, so I moved from having a

unlike with a bad friendship, we can’t

highly responsible job to basically

merely choose to distance ourselves

director.

“My

new

becoming

boss

a

was

data

the

capturer.

He

micromanaged everything I did. He always thought his way was better.”

If either of these scenarios sound familiar, you too might be embroiled with a toxic boss. Christopher Page, Johannesburg-based

Personal

Development advisor, outlines a few characteristics of this particular ilk of employer.

“They like to be right, and despise anyone challenging their authority or

than take responsibility; but on the

any

sudden

and

rash

boss. The less said from your side, the better. Quietly go about your business.”

from the bosses we hate. Despite the unhealthy dynamics of the relationship, we are often forced to see the person day after day and swallow their abuse continuously. The need to pay bills at the end of the month might keep us ‘toughing it out’ for much longer than we’d like to.

And it helps to remind yourself why he or she acts the way they do. “Realise that they are acting out of a low sense of self-worth,” says Page. “This makes them have to compensate for it by going to the opposite extreme in order to feel better about themselves -- so quietly, in your mind, take pity on them.”

Page and Maritz offer some coping mechanisms for those who are in this situation.

disagreeing with their opinions,” he said.

“They are quick to blame others rather

make

First off, “don’t let them manipulate you,” says Maritz. “Manipulation is easily identifiable through knowing the

flipside, they take credit for successes

acronym FOG. If someone brings out any

that weren’t their ideas. They are overly

of these three feelings you are being

critical and often lazy,” said Page.

manipulated: Fear, Obligation, or Guilt.”

23

Of course, this is easier said than done.

Tell tale emotions: Fear Obligation Guilt

“I knew that [my boss] was the problem,

was

not me; but her behaviour was seriously

counselling would be a good idea.”

affecting me,” said Emma. She battled to fall asleep at night. She began to lose

extremely

traumatic,

seeking

Both Emma and Vera say their ‘toxic’

weight and found herself worrying over

experiences taught them to value their

insignificant

own strengths. “My boss didn’t recognise

things.

Eventually

she

realised that the job wasn’t worth it.

Making the final decision to leave is a

my strengths because they were different to his own,” said Vera. “He was looking

tough one. Emma had no new job lined

for a mini-me. If he had been a bit

up at the time, a luxury which many

smarter, he could have recognised that I

others might not be able to afford. But as

shone in areas where he was weak.”

soon as you start to recognise “low selfefficacy, low self-esteem or if you start to become a totally negative person whom

Emma, now a successful professional, has

is either going to burnout, or lose all

learned to laugh about what she went

aspirations for your career,” it’s time to start looking around for another job, says

through. “This experience has taught me that my mental health is worth

Maritz.

protecting,” she said. “Feeling like a And once you’ve taken the plunge, let the healing begin. “An unpleasant experience with a toxic boss can linger in your mind

strong, positive person is worth a year of pay cheques.”

and emotions for a long time,” says Page.

“However, the experience can be positive in that you will have learned the signs and will be able to recognise a similar character in future. Be sure to choose your next employment carefully and request to meet with all those who will be your authority figures prior to accepting the job. Believe that you did not and do not deserve such treatment and value yourself more. If the experience

24

She found herself worrying over insignificant things.

7

Traits of Toxic Bosses 1.

Blame-shifters and credit seekers. Does your boss blame you for things that aren’t your fault? Does he refuse to see his own hand in anything that goes wrong, but accept the credit for successes he had nothing to do with?

2.

Doesn’t acknowledge your concerns. No matter how many times or ways you raise an issue, this boss is deaf to your concerns.

They either deflect the issue, glosses over it or downplays its importance. If it’s not an issue for them, then they can’t understand why it’s an issue for you.

3.

Undermines you. This is a big one, and it can happen in subtle ways. It can range from overt insults – such as your boss telling you that you’re stupid or incompetent -- right through to not acknowledging your strengths. Does your boss seem to think you are incapable of a meaningful idea or contribution? Is your point of view never valid? Being in an environment where your strengths or ideas are never validated can slowly chip away at your feelings of self-worth.

4.

Overly negative. Does your boss constantly highlight your faults and shortcomings? Do they dwell constantly on things you have done wrong, and never acknowledge your positive qualities?

5.

Me, me, me. The extreme version of this boss would call you out of a wedding because he needs help choosing a tie. (Think Hugh Grant as Sandra Bullock’s boss in Two Weeks’ Notice). They have no problem with encroaching on your personal time with their inconveniences, because quite simply, nobody’s crisis is as important as theirs.

6.

Draws unfair or unnecessary comparisons. As they constantly comparing you to your predecessor, colleague or someone else who always seems to do the job better than you do? Toxic bosses stack you up against an unfair comparator and then bring you down when you rightfully don’t compare. For example, why would you complete a job as quickly as someone who’s being doing it for 20 years and is being paid several times more than you are?

7.

Secretly deeply insecure. According to Personal Development Advisor Chris Page, most toxic bosses suffer from the same root cause. It might be hard to distinguish at first, because it’s often covered by a great act of bravado. But underneath it all, they’re “overcompensating for a diminished sense of self worth,” says Page.

Written by Thalia Holmes with insight from personal development advisor Chris Page and industrial psychologist Bernard Maritz

25

BIG BULLY! Not so big?

By Thalia Holmes

Among children, it’s easy to identify. It’s

got to figure it out and learn how to deal

Some of it was just the odd name here

a bigger, stronger child pushing, taunting

with it.”

or there shouted at me across the

or hitting another one. It’s a shove when

playground; other stuff was a bit more

no-one is looking, a wedgie or even a

It’s important to remember that a ‘bully’

bogwash. But the signs start to change

dynamic can exist in many forms and any

when puberty hits, and by the time we

relationship. Not only does one find

reach adulthood, it can be so subtle that

bullying in the obvious places such as by

you might not even realise that you’re a

a boss, a more experienced work

victim. Other times though, it’s as

colleague or mother-in-law, you could

blatant as if you were back on the school

be bullied by a romantic partner, best

ground in second grade.

friend or even your own child.

Bullyonline suggests standing back and

So when do you assign another label to

taking stock of things. “To work out if

“Some people are just openly and

unpleasant treatment and when do we

abrasively bullies; it screams at you,”

define it as bullying? Wrench says that

says

Janet

recognising the behaviour starts with

Wrench. The guy at work who routinely

getting in touch with how the person

belittles a colleague in front of others;

makes you feel.

professional

therapist

serious where I was being humiliated in front of groups of people; to the occasional time where my head might be pushed into the front of my locker. I hated every minute of it.”

you're being bullied, it’s a good idea to collect together information about your experience, including notes about the way it made you feel. As soon as you think you might be being bullied, start

the teenager who tells a friend she’s only welcome in the friendship circle if she

Control, power and that indefinable

documenting the experience, recording

smokes a joint.

quality of helplessness

who said or did what to whom, why and

“Bullies are all about control and power,”

when. If you have not been doing that

But at other times, the signs are difficult

she says. “Bullies have that indefinable

up to now, it's time to write down

to distinguish. “Some people are bullied

quality that after interactions with them

for years without actually realising it,”

leave us feeling sad, mad, helpless and

says support website bullyonline.org.

invariably bad about ourselves.”

“Many can see that they are being

Riadh Khalaf says most of his school

treated unfairly, but not all can put the

years were filled with dread. “My

nature of the unfairness into words.”

childhood in school I absolutely hated,”

Wrench says: “From tiny until death we

said. “I had some degree of bullying

Look out for the power dynamics when

can all be bullied on some level. We’ve

pretty much the whole way through.

the bully acts out.

everything you can remember, using emails, messages, calendar entries and what have you, to build a time frame and supporting evidence.”

Take back your power, seek support.

“That control very often leads to a situation where they will isolate you from your support system or try to get it into your head .”

Very often, says Wrench, a bully will

There’s a popular

wait until you are isolated before they

notion that bullies

attack. “Bullies are often cowards,” she

will back down

says. “They look for a moment when the

when confronted,

victim is without his or her support

but Wrench says that’s not always the

her peers. “She would look for

system.” In a friendship or intimate

case – at least, not at first.

opportunities to make fun of me in front of other people, would swear at me and

relationship, the bullying partner will often systematically cut you off from

“When you stand up to a bully they

even waited around for me with a friend

your friends or family.

won’t go away,” she says. “They can get

one day and started pushing me

angry when you don’t do what they

around,” said Adeline.

“Beware of the boyfriend who you may

want you to do. In fact, they might

“One day she started sidelining me in

feel, ‘Ah, he loves me so much because

increase the drama to try and get you

front of a bunch of people. I decided I’d

he’s so possessive that I can’t talk to

back into your place. You have to stick

had enough. I firmly put my foot down

another male!’” says Wrench. “It may

with your stance and be confident in it.”

and called out her behaviour.”

checking your phone and won’t let you

A bully is constantly on the lookout for

The woman’s reaction? “She went

go out with your girlfriends.

a target, says Wrench. The trick is to

ballistic,” said Adeline. “She started

make them realise that you are not an

screaming and shouting and made quite

“That control very often leads to a

easy or satisfying one. Several years

a fool of herself. I quietly but decisively

situation where they will isolate you

after graduating from high school,

repeated my stance. This went on for

from your support system or try to get

Khalaf confronted one of his high school

some time until she realised I was not

it into your head … eventually they will

bullies. His perpetrator’s reaction

going to back down. It was pretty nerve-

pull you away and you are entirely in

highlights a fairly typical mindset.

wracking, but she never confronted me

start that way, and then they’ll start

again!”

their control. When that’s how their head works, you need to leave.”

In a conversation with Khalaf, the bully said: “I don’t think I would have ever

If the bullying is taking place within a

What to do if you’re being bullied

intentionally gone out of my way to

romantic relationship, things can quickly

Wrench says it’s very important for

purposely pick on you. It was just, you

deteriorate into abuse. If that is the

victims to know that there is a way out.

were there at the time, and you gotta

case, it’s important to grab onto some

Support organisations have been set up

to slag somebody, you know?”

support, plan an exit strategy and get out, says Wrench. “Get a friend to fetch

to help, and in extreme cases, victims can – and should – take legal action.

Adeline* (name has been changed)

you; reach out to someone,” she says.

As a child, your parents might have

shares a story about confronting a well-

“There are places set up to help you.

advised you to “just stand up to them!”

known bully who was feared by most of

There is a way out.”

28

Support Resources If you are being bullied, there are several ways to reach out and stop the cycle. Here are some options available.

• Visit stompoutbullying.org: Helps you recognise bullying and educates you about various kinds of bullying.

• Visit bullyonline.org: Provides information about bullying as well as examples of legal action taken against it.

• Visit Imgettingbullied.com: Encourages people to share their stories about being bullied in an effort to speak out and stop the cycle.

• Call LifeLine: A 24-hour counselling line that can provide you with support and further options for help on 0861 322 322.

• Call Stop Gender Abuse: For crisis counselling for women who are being abused on 0800 150 150.

• If you have fallen prey to cyber bullying, visit Cyberbullying.org.za to find out more about your legal rights and read about cases that have been prosecuted in South Africa.

Financial Planning & Wealth Management F o r

t h e

E v o l v e d

W o m a n Intelligent Saving Emergency Fund Investments Insurance Wills, Trusts and Estate Planning

Every woman needs a financial plan for their life. A detailed roadmap of how they are going to handle their financial affairs. Financial planning and wealth management are two sides of the same coin – you plan your finances so as to accumulate wealth. The biggest myth about financial planning is that one needs a lot of money to undertake it, but infact, financial planning needs to happen even before we start earning our very first pay cheque.

Financial planning and wealth management are about creating a structure that works for you. As such, no two financial plans can ever be the same, because each one must be informed by your personal goals, aspi-

rations and values. Looking after your finances is no different from looking after any other area of your life – the same way you will not neglect your health and looks, one must not neglect looking after their finances.

because you can actually be happy

The process requires some level of reflection, a deep and honest conversation with yourself about how old you are, where you currently are in your career or business, and where you would like to get to. Your current income is what you have to work with, and will determine what you can and cant do in the planning of your finances. No matter what your income is, you need to ensure that you are making the most of it,

Many things will go into this financial

30

and comfortable on any income.

Given your income, you can then create a roadmap, a guide that details all your goals regarding how you will lead your financial life.

plan. Your first objective in this process is to look at how you can limit your expenses, so that you get to keep more of the income that you earn. There is no point earning a high income for you to lose it all through unnecessary spending. This is not to say you must live like a pauper, it just calls for sensibility and some consideration of the future.

Written by Setshwano Sharey Ngope. Founding MD of MerlotWEALTH™ Next issue: First things First - Personal Budget Every woman also needs an ‘emergency’ fund. A sizeable amount of money saved up for use if she ever needed to get away, or have to face a financial emergency. We don’t always have to rely on debt and loans when we have financial emergencies. We can choose the high road, and build up savings equivalent to 6 months (preferably 1 year) of our living expenses. Building up this fund is easy – you just ensure that every month you pay yourself first: you contribute to this fund before you start paying any of your bills, not the other way around. You also need to automate this process, so as to make it effortless, over time you will not even miss this money.

Investments are an integral part of any financial plan. You cannot keep all your money in the bank, you need to find a home for your funds that will help them to grow over time. For your money to be growing in real terms, it needs to be earning a return that is higher than the rate of inflation. Unit trusts are the simplest investment vehicle ever made, as they allow you to get exposure to shares,

bonds, property and cash all at once, depending on the fund you have chosen. Your Wealth Manager will be in a position to assist you to choose an appropriate fund. Investments are intended to help us to achieve financial security, so when we talk about investments we must also consider how we can weave insurance into our financial plan, so as to help us to mitigate the effects of some of life’s eventualities like death, disability and retrenchment.

A financial plan can never be complete without a solid strategy of protecting the wealth that we work so hard to accumulate. This is done through Wills, Trusts and Estate Planning. A Will ensures that you have documented all your wishes regarding what is to happen to your assets upon your death. In it, you get to tell us who you want your assets to pass to. Through a Trust you can house the assets of your beneficiaries until they reach a reasonable age. So if you have minor children, their inheritance can be placed in Trusts until they are old enough to manage them themselves.

31

A wealth manager is no different from your doctor, lawyer or dentist – they are an integral part of your life, if you want to live a long and fulfilled life. They are there to play the role of coach and healer, to help you to make the most of your money and the financial markets… helping you to achieve financial peace of mind.

This article was written by Ms Setshwano Sharey Ngope. She is the Founding MD of MerlotWEALTH™ – an independent pan-African advisory practice that specializes in financial advisory, wealth management and investments.

Ms Ngope is also the founder of the Botswana Financial Literacy Excellence Center (BFLEC) – a personal finance foundation that does research, advocacy and designs financial literacy programs for the youth and women.

MérlotWEALTH™ Plot 948/49 Kaunda Road, Gaborone Phone: (+267) 72331550 Fax: (+267) 3907061 E-Mail: setshwano@merlotwealth.com

Simplicity!

The essence of Elegance

First Impressions Written by Felistus Senwamadi

The first thing people notice about you

these are guaranteed to make you stand

people see you from afar. It is important

is how you look and from then on they

out, they ignore the fundamentals of

to note that this philosophy goes beyond

build perceptions of who you are, what

what builds people’s complete, best

what is on the face and continues to

you do, what you like, etc. This notion

impression of you. These brass tacks are

highlight how the face looks. Openness

suggests that first impressions are

worth noting in order to ensure that the

is often shown by bright eyes, hair pulled

created from the ‘first glance’ you get

brand you intend to display is the brand

back and away from the face and an

from the perceiver which means that it

you actually convey.

upright posture of the face. For men, the

is

imperative

to

manage

cleaner the face (with no or well-

these

trimmed beard) suggests integrity of

impressions by adjusting your overall appearance and most of all demeanour.

character and dependability. These It is common that people are more

elements are very vital to note when

attracted to open faces than they are

going for interviews or negotiating

to stand out from the crowd, women

attracted to ‘made-up’ faces. However,

business deals. Sincerity is always

often resort to superficial pieces such as

this theory does not discount make-up

written in the face.

brighter lipstick, shinier outfits, higher

as a way of managing first impressions.

heels… you name it. Similarly, men will

In fact, make up can be used in a subtle

seek recognition through an outstanding

way to create a more simple and modest

dress code, a louder laugh and running

look (see make up tips on page 56 - 59)

a higher tab at a restaurant. Though all

that gives a sense of authenticity when

It is almost universal that in an attempt

33

“Sincerity is always written in the face”

“An engaging and genuine smile shows an element of trustworthiness”

poised and upright posture shows

said as opposed to what is actually being

confidence in oneself and in what you

said. This notion therefore emphasises

say before you even say it. Having a bad

on the delivery of a message of which

and slouched posture shows insecurity

gestures play an important role. Even so,

and suggests lethargy but a good posture

it important to ensure that gestures are

shows dignity, self-respect and reliability.

This is particularly important in public

genuine and are always aligned with the message being given.

speaking arenas (such as politics, beauty pageants and general panel discussions) The most ideal way to judge a person’s candidness is through their smile. An engaging and genuine smile shows an

and in managing business transactions.

You stand a good chance with a good stance.

element of trustworthiness. It is no secret

that

in

awkward

and

uncomfortable situations particularly in

Walk with purpose!

new and unknown settings, people

It is very often that people ignore the

usually exhibit ‘fake’ smiles but often as

importance of gestures in managing

a reflection of their inner discomfort

people’s first impressions of you. People

than intent to be pretentious. As a result,

normally

people then depict them as self-centred

accompanied by gestures in speech as it

A person’s walk follows posture in

and

to

reflects that the individual believes in

reflecting

uncomfortable thus it is important to

his/her ideas and is confident in their

trustworthiness of character. A straight,

manage your smile to ensure that it

truthfulness. Most times an audience is

comes from the inside in order to show

more captivated by how something is

pompous

as

opposed

trust

words

that

are

candour and arouse people’s interest in you from a distance.

People

are

mostly

attracted

to

individuals who seem like they know what they are doing at any given

and

stern but composed walk shows presence and awareness of one’s purpose.

“An audience is more captivated by how something is said”

confidence

A purposeful walk shows

charisma, makes one seem approachable and thus draws the desired attention formed by a good impression and allures the onlookers towards you. All great leaders, activists and public speakers have the requisite walk to back them up.

moment, and posture speaks volumes in

Always ensure that you walk with

drawing such interest to oneself- a

purpose- walk like you mean it.

34

Elevate Inspire Create Develop your Brand strategy with highly skilled, and experienced business specialists. With more than 30 years experience in marketing, business finance and strategy we are the best team for your brand.

Training • Business Plans • Strategy • Design

T: 081 306 2828 E: victoria@espitbrandprint.co.za www.espritbrandprint.co.za

Fund Raising: Property Acquisition Property Development General Business

Business Plans & Profiles Financial Modelling

Xolani Meva T: 082 964 4615 E: xolani@graystoncapital.co.za W: www.graystoncapital.co.za

Business Support Strategy Development Financial Accounting Services Training

The Business Plan!

By Xolani Meva, CEO of Grayston raising capital from different financiers more often than not financiers will

An

executive

require a business plan. Among factors

summary

to be considered, financiers would

The executive summary should be the

generally be establishing how much

overview of the business that one wants

thought, work, research, planning etc. has gone into the business idea and its

to start. It’s vital. Many financiers and

Years later the debate is still going, do I

implementation. As the good old saying

investors are said to make judgements

need a business plan or do I not? Many

goes “failing to plan is planning to fail”.

about your business based on this section

of us have heard people saying that “I

of the plan alone.

started a business without a business

According to the (bgateway website), if a

plan.” Well, they may not have had a

business is looking for funding, the

business plan in a documented and

business plan should at least cover the

printed format, but one would like to

following key aspects of a business if one

believe that they sure did have plan.

is looking for funding or investment:

Otherwise it would have been an

● An executive summary

opportunity

● As short description of the busi-

This should cover who you are, what you

irresponsible gamble.

So does that mean that a business plan is not needed?

Not necessarily, but it

depends

one’s

on

situation

and

circumstances such as the size of the business, the capital required, nature of the business, or if you have the funds required for the business. The issue is that if you do not have the capital then you will have to raise it from some financier or investor. In the process of

ness opportunity

A short description of the

business

plan to sell or offer, why and to whom.

● Your marketing and sales strategy

Your marketing and

● Your competition

sales strategy

● Your management teams and

Under this section you should cover why

personnel ● Your operations ● Financial forecasts

37

you think people will buy what you want to sell and how you plan to sell to them.

Good entrepreneurs can make a success of an otherwise not so good business Your competition How do you plan to compete and be better than your competition? Explain your unique selling point (USP).

Management teams and personnel This outlines who your management team consists of as well as your credentials. Outline your personnel structure, reporting lines and divisions.

Operations How do you plan to run your business and with what systems and procedures? It is important to outline

your

production

facilities,

your

management information systems and IT so that financiers can see that your business will run efficiently.

Be disciplined enough to keep yourself on task!

Financial forecasts This section translates everything you have said in the above sections into numbers. This section is vital to determining the financial viability of the

plans available to you. Many people opt

● Self-Discipline

to outsource the preparation of a ● Flexibility

business plan to service providers such as business consultants, accountants etc.

● A Healthy dose of pragmatism

While this is often done, there ideally shouldn’t be any disjoint between the

Good entrepreneurs need to believe in

finance facility you are seeking. A

business plan itself and the owner(s) of

their dreams and must be able to walk

financier cannot lend money without this

the venture to be established. There

section being complete and making

must be a comfortable compatibility

sense.

between

business as well as the affordability of the

the

venture

and

the

the

line

between

stubborn

self-

confidence and humble realism. While

We often speak of a

they should believe in their dreams and

jockey (entrepreneur) and a horse

pursue them with everything they have

(business).

got, they should also be willing to change

entrepreneur.

Good entrepreneurs can

Considerations

often make a success of an otherwise not

Depending on the nature of the business

so good business.

course, pivot, and tweak their plans to align with their circumstances.

and its complexity, a more sophisticated and a more detailed business plan may

Financiers also look at the character of

In conclusion a brilliantly prepared and

have to be developed. A business plan

the entrepreneur to help them in their

documented business plan is a desirable

may need for instance to be enhanced to

decision. There is general consensus in

start for an entrepreneur requiring

incorporate the business departments, divisions, each with its own targets. This may be where you hire a consultant to assist you.

If you are comfortable writing your own plan but just need some guidance, you will find a wealth of sample business

terms of what traits good entrepreneurs should

possess.

The

funding form a financier or investor but

(bplans.com

website) counts the following traits

just as important is entrepreneur’s

amongst their top 5 traits for a good

abilities to implement the plans detailed

entrepreneur:

in the business plan.

● Passion

By Xolani Meva, Director Grayston Capital

● Drive

39

Creative Bliss

By Esprit Business Services

Designing promotional material is a lot of

purpose is to help you make better

brand material, website and anything else

fun for me. Whether I am doing the

decisions for the welfare of your business

that presents your brand to the public.

designing or I am just managing the

and at the end of the day, the healthy

creative process it doesn't matter. I love

growth of your brand and company.

the lateral thinking and I love the experimentation of colours and objects

Ready to be edified? Here we go:

and evaluating their meaning. It feeds my energy levels more than ice-cream‌ However, it becomes a job when I am creating material with poorly designed logos. Unfortunately SME's are forced to

Create a simple logo. Your logo needs to give the viewer an immediate clear sense of who you are. Keep it

Choose

colours

wisely.

Choosing colours for your logo is a science and not guess work or an opportunity to

uncluttered and the term less is more, is very relevant here. Don't fall into the trap of too much detail and don't fall into the

use your favourite colours. Colour

trap of trying to be too abstract either.

companies who profess to know what

combinations elicit different psychological

Some logo's are basic shapes and in some

they are doing in the marketing field or

responses in people and you need be sure

circumstances that makes sense but in

they are so excited about developing the

that your choice adds value to your

others it has no relevance to the

logo that they want to do it themselves. I

company not retracts from it. I will write

company's purpose.

understand‌ I really do. Creating your

a blog about colours shortly but for the

own logo and seeing it on your letterhead

moment you need to know that you need

and business card can give you a great

your main colour and your need accent

feeling of accomplishment.

colours and they must be chosen and set

Your logo needs to be easily recalled once

But may I remind you that your logo is not

and not changed based on your mood for

someone has seen it. It needs to leave an

all about you! It's about your business.

the day. These colours will be the platform

impression. A glance is typically all your

Please don't feel offended here. My

for all colour applications throughout your

logo is going to get from most people.

take what they get from small, cheap

41

Make it memorable.

applications. See what your logo looks

Be innovative.

Balance, balance, balance.

Don't settle for a mass produced 'me too'

Ok well here's the thing‌ some of us are

logo. This is the heart of your brand and

prone to symmetry and some of us aren't.

will be the root from which all other

However balance is not just about

creative work stems from here on. Why

symmetry. There are laws that govern

cripple your self at the get go? A me too

balance of objects from a psychological

logo shouts: We are like everyone else!

point of view and there is nothing worse

Really? Is this your message? Innovation

than a logo that doesn't know which way

is the key force behind leading companies

it wants to go. A great example is the

and

successful

twitter bird. You may not even realise it

entrepreneurs. If you have an innovative

but they have used circles and symmetry

company with much to offer then bring

to create a bird that is both pleasing to

that into the creation of your logo.

the eye and perfectly balanced in terms

around a lot before they get the logo

of its curves making it open and free.

right and even then more tweaking is

the

driver

behind

like when you put it on a pen. Can you even put it on a pen?

Be fully aware of the design process.

Your logo won't necessarily be perfect from the first draft. Be prepared to tweak and change and adjust. Many very experienced, brilliant designers play

needed. If you are in tune with your

Be modern.

The look and feel of the logo should be modern but not so modern that it'll feel out of date in a few years. The best logo's hold well over time. Ok, so maybe you're not the current Coca-Cola or Pepsi. Well if you think you'll never be as brilliant as them then you won't. If you think you will then you will. The minute you set limitations on yourself, you immediately create your own barrier to success and

Be versatile.

brand and what you know is right for your

Here in lies the devil of all creativity. Oh

industry you will understand this and

gosh. I have worked with some of the

realise that its ok to tweak and tweak. It's

most difficult logos and I have worked

possible that you will eventually go back

with absolutely fabulous logos. Please

to an original design in one of your first

remember that you will be using your logo for all sorts of things, from your business card and letterhead to flags and

drafts but that tweaking process is so important and you need to give the

banners and corporate clothing and key

design team latitude and yourself

rings, pens and the list can go on and on.

permission to let the design process play

You will use it in colour and in black and

out.

you limit your ability to set a trend. All

white. You will use it online and in print.

logo's need to have a bit of cosmetic

Your logo needs to have the versatility to

surgery every so often but if you have

be applied on every platform where it will

a great logo your tweaks will be minimal

be displayed. Don't be scared to create

and your logo will have a life of its own.

variations and test them on all these

42

Your logo is the heart of your brand and is the root from which all other creative work will stem.

Give the world the best version of your company.

Just like the way you dress offers people a presentation of you, your logo does the same for your company.

you build a brand that has a powerful life then I suggest you ask a professional to assist you. Take all your ideas to them and let them help you sift through the clutter of indecision. There is a simple test that professionals take a business owner through to help them assess what is needed. For us it is simple. It is our core business and core expertise.

Your

logo

is

so

very

important to your company and I cannot state this clearly enough.

Positioning of your logo.

Well there are a lot of different ideas as to which side of the advert you put the logo or which side of the letterhead. If you are unsure then always go with top right for your letterhead and either top left for your advert or bottom right. In

Brand equity and the value of your logo is not represented on your balance sheet, but it is represented in the buying pattern of your client. If it has no value or has failed to build value then you will always be chasing turnover and markets instead of creating markets.

your advertising your push button - or sales call to action is generally placed on the bottom right corner as it is the eye's natural follow through line. Unless you're doing work in the Far East.

Esprit Business Services are specialists in marketing, branding and training. We certainly have the expertise and the passion to help you make the best decisions, whether you hire us to create it for you or your hire us to train you.

If all else fails seek expert

Esprit Business Services offers branding, web design and general consulting services.

advice.

If your business and your brand is very

E: victoria@espritbrandprint.co.za

important to you and you want to ensure

43

Massage or Physio?

Written by Charne Celliers. Charne is an internationally qualified remedial sports therapist and has her own practice. She can be contacted at charne.celliers@gmail.com This frustration is often compounded by the fact that primary health care providers In my work as a remedial sports and holistic massage therapist I work with clients who have various chronic conditions and injuries. Many people I meet are often confused as to what type of therapist they should be dealing with in terms of their injury or condition. I find that this often

often don’t understand or appreciate the different modalities associated with long term therapeutic care. Often the advice given by these primary health care providers therefore does not take into account

the

specialized

modalities

available to a patient.

leads to frustration, as people don’t understand the nature of the therapy and its outcomes.

I also find that due to the lack of understanding of the outcome of each modality many patients tend to bounce from one modality to the next expecting outcomes that are often unrealistic in terms of the time given to treatments.

I have detailed a number of modalities and their differences to help you know your therapist and the treatments offered.

There are many other complimentary

Many patients tend to bounce from one modality to the next expecting outcomes that are often unrealistic in terms of the time given to treatments.

modalities such as holistic massage, reflexology, aromatherapy and manual lymph drainage that have a role to play in wellness and healing. This article focuses on a few modalities that are often associated with long term injury and chronic conditions.

Chiropractic:

as specialized strapping, electro-therapy,

Deep Tissue massage is ideal for

mirror therapy and heat therapy to

preventing an injury. This treatment

Chiropractic is a primary therapy

achieve results.

keeps your muscles and joints in good

specializing in the diagnosis, treatment

often

mobility

condition. If you do any physical exercise

and prevention of neuromusculoskeletal

rehabilitation following trauma such as

you should consider deep tissue massage

disorders with an emphasis on the spine.

accidents, operations, paralysis due to

as part of your fitness program.

Chiropractic practitioners seek to correct

strokes and amputations.

be

Physiotherapists will

involved

in

the effects of these disorders on the function of the nervous system and general health. Often following an accident or trauma a patient may favor one or other side of the body. This may

You can make a simple evaluation of what

Deep Remedial Therapist:

Tissue/ Massage

you may need to help yourself in the following way:

● Any problems with your spine or

cause a shift in alignment of the skeletal structures

causing

further

pain.

Chiropractic practitioners will see to realign the skeletal structure to bring relief of the condition.

This is a complimentary therapy.

skeletal system go see a chiropractor.

However

It is ideal to have a deep tissue

even

though

it

is

a

complimentary therapy this therapist has

massage before a

been clinically trained. This specialized

appointment as it allows for easier

training has involved studies in anatomy,

manipulation as the muscles are

pathology, pharmacology and nutrition.

relaxed and supple.

chiropractic

Physiotherapy:

A clinical remedial therapist has multiple

Physiotherapy is a primary healthcare

internationally qualified. While using

profession, aiming to restore movement

many

and function to the fullest potential when

physiotherapist a remedial therapist

someone is affected by injury, illness or

specializes in massage to deal with

disability. Physiotherapists achieve this

muscular related injuries. A remedial

through movement and exercise, manual

therapist will adopt a holistic approach to

therapy, education and advice. They help

the patient. Deep tissue massage can also

to treat physical problems associated

treat an already occurred injury by

with a number of the body’s systems,

targeting the muscle groups causing the

● In my experience though if you are

including

discomfort. Massage therapists will focus

engaged in sport or a fixed exercise

and

on the muscle groups rather than

regime, a regular maintenance

Many

manipulating joints or working on the

massage can help reduce the

skeletal system.

possibility of a sports related injury.

the

years of study and training and is often

muscular/skeletal,

neuromuscular,

cardiovascular

respiratory

systems.

physiotherapists concentrate on the

of

the

techniques

exact area of distress and use tools such

47

of

● Any problems with joints or muscles you should go see a Physiotherapist

a

and

a

Deep

Tissue

Massage

Therapist. They are each derived from independent schools of thought and their approach to patient treatment differs.

I

5 Tibetan Rites: Yoga The Five Tibetan Rites is a system of exercises reported to be more than 2,500 years old, which were first publicized by Peter Kelder in a 1939 publication titled The Eye of Revelation.

FIRST RITE Stand erect with arms outstretched, horizontal with the shoulders. Now spin around until you become slightly dizzy. Ensure that you must turn from left to right. Do 21 rotations.

The Rites are said to be a form of Tibetan yoga similar to the yoga series that originated in India.

However, the Five Rites and traditional Tibetan yoga both emphasize "a continuous sequence of movement" (Sanskrit: vinyasa), whereas Indian forms focus on "static positions". Although the

SECOND RITE

Rites have circulated amongst yogis for decades, skeptics say that Tibetans have never recognized

Lie full length on yoga mat. Place the hands flat down alongside of the hips.

them as being authentic Tibetan practices.

Fingers should be kept close together with the finger-tips of each hand

The Five Tibetan Rites are also referred to as "The Five Rites", "The Five Tibetans" and "The Five Rites of Rejuvenation".

turned slightly toward one another. Raise the feet until the legs are straight up. If possible, let the feet extend back a bit over the body toward the head, but do not let the knees bend. Hold this position for a moment or two and then slowly lower the feet to the floor, and for the next several

If you have thought of starting Yoga but are not

moments allow all of the muscles in the entire body to relax completely.

sure where to begin then we suggest trying these

Then perform the Rite all over again. Do 21 repeats. Do not continue if you

at home. They are easy enough to do and help

feel any pain.

with flexibility, strength and general health.

While the feet and legs are being raised it is a good idea also to raise the head, then while the feet and legs are being lowered to the floor lower the head at the same time.

48

THIRD RITE Kneel on a rug or mat with hands at sides, palms flat against the side of legs. Then lean forward as far as possible, bending at the waist, with head well forward—chin on chest. The second position of this Rite is to lean backward as far as possible. Cause the head to move still further backward. The toes will prevent you from falling over backward. The hands are always kept against the side of the legs. Next come to an erect (kneeling) position, relax as much as possible for a moment, and perform Rite all over again.

FOURTH RITE Sit erect on rug or carpet with feet stretched out in front. The legs must be perfectly straight -- back of knees must be well down or close to the rug. Place the hands flat on the rug, fingers together, and the hands pointing outward slightly. Chin should be on chest -- head forward.

Now gently raise the body, at the same time bend the knees so that the legs from the knees down are practically straight up and down. The arms, too, will also be vertical while the body from shoulders to knees will be horizontal. As the body is raised upward allow the head gently to fall backward so that the head hangs backward as far as possible when the body is fully horizontal. Hold this position for a few moments, return to first position, and RELAX for a few moments before performing the Rite again. When the body is pressed up to complete horizontal position, tense every muscle in the body.

FIFTH RITE Place the hands on the floor about two feet apart. Then, with the legs stretched out to the rear with the feet also about two feet apart, push the body, and especially the hips, up as far as possible, rising on the toes and hands. At the same time the head should be brought so far down that the chin comes up against the chest. Next, allow the body to come slowly down to a ‘sagging’ position. Bring the head up, causing it to be drawn as far back as possible. The muscles should be tensed for a moment when the body is at the highest point, and again at the lowest point

49

Super Green Smoothie In this issue we share 2 delicious and refreshing recipes with you. Both are super healthy and ensure that you have sufficient quantities of those greens for lots of energy and a strong, healthy immune system.

INGREDIENTS ● ¼ pineapple ● 1/3 red pepper ● 1/3 yellow pepper ● Thumb joint of ginger ● 2 inches of raw sweet potato ● 3 to 4 cups parsley/kale/cos lettuce/spinach/coriander/bokchoy/cucumber/mint/Chinese cabbage/carrot tops/beetroot tops or any green leafy vegetables. ● 2 Tablespoons Flaxseeds ● Super foods – Maca Root, cacao, lacuma, baobab, moringa, chia seeds

METHOD Blend ingredients for one minute at a Time for 2 – 3 minutes (if you don’t stop the machine after 1 minute you strain the motor) Add water to take it up to 2 litres and help it blend ENJOY all day. Drink it within 8 hours if it is not kept in the fridge.

Swiss Chard and African Grain Salad African cuisine does not have to be dull, bland and boring. It is possible to experiment with it, it is highly nutritious and can be used to build a healthy lifestyle. It can have colour and it can be full of flavour. This is where it starts with this Swiss-Chard and African grain salad which was inspired by an episode from a popular cooking show on DSTV’s Diner’s, Drive-ins and Dives. One can pick the grains according to preference ; sorghum for a gluten free option, or beans if you are looking for something filling which is low in saturated fats and sodium. The salad is also a great source of dietary fibre and an array of nutrients. Enjoy!

INGREDIENTS

METHOD

•

1 bunch of swiss chard leaves

Boil yugo beans, sorghum grain and black eyed peas until cooked and

•

1 cup cherry or Italian tomatoes

allow cooling. When grains are cooked they are soft but still intact.

•

1 cup peeled and separated tangerine or naartjies

Wash the swiss chard thoroughly through running water and chop

•

¼ cup whole sorghum grains( mosutlhane)

•

¼ cup yugo beans (ditloo) / black-eyed peas(dinawa)

finely. For variation, kale can also be used.

In a large bowl, toss the swiss chard, tomatoes, grains and tangerine (this is where you get to experiment with your fruits. Mangoes and

•

¼ cup walnuts/peanuts/pecans (optional)

berries add sweet contrast to flavours from the other ingredients.

•

Ground salt and black pepper to taste

Season with black pepper and salt.

Delicious

Serve with a drizzle of lemon juice or balsamic vinegar.

For more recipes you can email: forkplay2015@gmail.com

The African AFRO… Going natural!

Some tips on how to go green the right way.

In the quest to lead a more natural green

your natural hair as well as knowing the

chemistry and physical make-up of the

life, we have seen a significant shift of

pros and cons of your decision always

hair.

the trends in the hair industry. A Huge

helps to prepare you mentally and

individuals who absorb this information

number of relaxer users have gone for a

physically for the new hair regimen

without question has always been

the less drastic way of a slow transitioning process by growing out the

sentiment

from

many

consistent in that there is an appalling

total chop for a fresh start of natural unprocessed hair. Some have gone for

The

The do’s and don’t s Avoid the internet craze

lack of knowledge of how to take care of natural hair in the conventional or ‘traditional hair salons.”

relaxed hair and chopping it off bit by bit

A lot of useful information on natural

until they are left with a full length of

hair-care and products can be found on

As a hair care professional, I find this

natural hair. As much as it is a noble

the internet at the click of a button. Even

notion to be true because most stylists

move it comes with its own challenges

so, careful consideration and second

prefer working with relaxed or processed

especially if processed hair care is all you

opinion is always a must when getting

hair as it is easier to manage and

have known.

information from Youtube tutorials and

manipulate. Natural hair on the other

It is always a bad idea to bargain for fish

natural hair blogs.

hand is not as easy and requires patience

that is still in the water, because many

and knowledge of different types of curl

times we see ladies resorting back to

Some hair care professionals find that

patterns to be able to know what to do

processing their hair as a result of being

some of these web-sites and tutorials

and what products to use to work on it

frustrated by the state of their hair after

lack integrity as they do not have an

without damaging it or inflicting pain to

the big chop. Learning how to deal with

in-depth knowledge of the biology,

the client.

Shop 19 Masa Square. Gaborone CBD

53

Plot 54353

Tel. +267 3132714

Moisture is key Contrary to popular belief our hair has got more protein than moisture hence

layer of product on your hair making the hair greasy and brittle.

Avoid product experiments Since most women have been using the kitchen pantry as the source of their hair

the dry nature of the hair. Moisture

Style it regularly

care products for natural hair this has

infusion must be top priority on your

Regular, protective styling like plaiting,

been a big relief though proportions and

regiment. When growing natural hair

weaving or cornrows is advisable to

PH balancing are always overlooked

you must always take heed that the

avoid daily manipulation of your natural

when making home-made concoctions.

natural nourishment from the scalp

hair that can lead to breakage or

Mixing substances from the kitchen may

(sebum) barely manages to reach a few

damage. When doing these protective

seem harmless but it can create effects

styling also take heed that excessive

that can reverse all the expected

tension or pulling can lead to permanent

benefits. Using products in their pure

damage and hair loss. The hair on the

form proves to be a sure way of reducing

hairline is very fragile and can easily pull

mishaps and disappointments.

millimeters from the scalp because of gravity and the curly nature on some curl types. Moisture products must be used regularly to ensure that the mid-lengths and the ends get more nourishment.

To infuse intense moisture there is a number of treatments that are designed specifically for natural hair that can be used. These treatments can be paired with natural hair oil products that will

out of the scalp. Receding hair-line is a common problem among people with natural hair because of the frequent plaiting.

Work the comb The constant natural shedding of hair gives reason to comb out our hair daily to remove all the loose hair. Leaving hair

Invest in your hair with good products and hair tools.

uncombed will result in all the loose hair

seal-in the moisture in the hair. Moisture

forming knots and tangling the hair.

creams that contain some natural oils,

Leaving these loose hairs for too long,

not mineral oils are good to use in-

causes hair breakage and damage in the

Invest in good products

process of detangling. Regular combing

Due to this shift in hair care trends, giant

using appropriate combs or brushes for

cosmetic companies have poured so

your curl type and detangling sprays or

much investment into research and

creams is very important and prevents

Regular washing will help to keep your

development of appropriate products

the physical damage that happens when

hair soft and less brittle. Keeping your

for natural hair. This is a most welcome

you try to comb heavily tangled hair.

hair dirty for long periods and slapping

development by hair professionals since

In the next issue we will feature reviews

on layers and layers of products will

they constantly had to deal with a lot of

of a number of natural hair products

make your hair brittle no matter how

damage control caused by home- made

that are readily available in professional

good the product is. Dust particles,

concoctions gone wrong.

salons and cosmetic shops.

between washes.

Keep it clean

sweat and hair sebum will cling to the

54

Welcome to Just Jill!

Jill is a qualified and very experienced make up and grooming specialist. She has done the make up for us beautiful women as well as for celebs all over SA! Jill will share her vast knowledge of make up tips, buying guides and helpful hints on a variety of grooming subjects in this issue.

We have taken a unique approach to this section as we didn’t want to duplicate the heavily overdone make up pages of other women’s magazines where the models used, have perfect faces and features. We have set out to bring you real people with real faces and real issues when applying make up.

Celebrating your authentic beauty!

Real World Faces!

Meet Dana At Millennial Woman Headquarters we all agree, diversity is what makes the world so beautiful. This series aims to celebrate our differences by meeting make-up tutorials with the real world, we introduce you to real women with unique features and show you how to work with them.

Meet Dana, she describes her biggest make up challenges as having “small eyes and occasional breakouts�.

Here are my tips to overcome these challenges: Break outs are a common problem experienced at all ages and can be caused my many factors including diet, hormones and stress. The biggest mistake most women who struggle with break outs make is that they use heavy products to conceal problem areas, this more than often has the opposite effect and draws the eye to the problem area.

Start by prepping the skin with a facial cleanser and moisturiser which will feed your skin and address the issues that have caused the break out. Then apply a primer that will help to even out the skin allowing make up to sit more evenly once applied (Try Benefit Porefessional R395, Edgars). Start by choosing a medium to full coverage foundation that will allow you to build coverage as needed. Then use a liquid concealer and spot conceal, this means only using concealer on specific areas where it is needed. I use foundation before concealer to avoid over use of concealer which can lead to a heavy make up look. (Urban Decay Naked Skin Foundation R490 and Naked Skin Concealer R395)

To bring small eyes to life, start with groomed brows, a defined arch in the brow can make eyes appear bigger.

Start with a light colour on the lid, light colours bring light and make areas of the eye look bigger. Use a medium brown colour to define your crease, adding dimension to the eye. Carefully pop a dark colour in the shape of a triangle on the outer most corner of the eye and blend, try not to pull the colour too far onto the lid as this will close down the eye. Eye liner will make the eye appear bigger if used correctly. Be sure to keep the line thin and close to the lash line and extend out only slightly. Then apply flesh coloured liner in the waterline which will immediately open your eye and finish by framing your eyes with a dark eyeshadow in the lash line.

Focus mascara on the outer corners on the eye, too much mascara will make eyes appear smaller.

A great trick for problem skin is to play up another feature like eyes or lips and since Dana has small eyes I suggest a bold lip (Ruby Woo MAC R220). Finish with a pop of colour on the cheek, I recommend opting for powder products when choosing a bronzer or blush as liquids don't sit every on uneven skin and can pool up highlighting problem areas.

And there you have it!

56

All Made Up Meet Cayla I often get asked for tips for everyday make up, it seems most of us get stuck in a rut or need some ideas on how to look daytime appropriate. Whether you work in an office or freelance it's always important to out your best foot, or in this case face, forward in the workplace.

Step 1 :Start with a good base If you're out from 9-5 you need to make sure your make up stays put all day, to ensure this start with a primer. Primers prepare the skin for make up and give the make up a optimal canvas upon which to be laid, this means better results that last longer. I recommend adding a face primer and eye shadow primer to your make up kit, there are many options out there including color correction, blemish control & oil control etc Choose the primer that addresses your skin issues. I used Smashbox PhotoFinish Primer (R430) all over the face with MAC Cosmetics Prolongwear Paint Pot in Painterly (R250).

Step 2: Conceal & Correct Next apply a foundation to your entire face making sure to blend into the jawline.

Your neck does not require full coverage so avoid adding too much product which will result in make up transfer. Shop around for a foundation that will give you the right type of coverage whether it be full, medium or light. I prefer to use a medium to full coverage as skin needs often change and always reaching for a full coverage foundation can make you look overdone. Use a foundation brush to apply product to face and then reach for a damp blending sponge to smooth out product giving that airbrushed look. Then use your concealer brush to apply concealer under the eyes, around the nose and then on specific areas on the face. Again use your beauty blending sponge to blend your concealer in.

57

All Made Up continued‌ Step 3: All about Eyes Here comes the fun but often tricky part, sculpting a beautiful eye. Start with a light color all over the lid, the idea is to bring light to the lid thereby making it look bigger.

Next apply a medium toned brown eyeshadow with a flat shader brush, preferably something warm and blend this into the crease. This will make your natural crease appear deeper which will emphasize the eye. The trick here is to blend and blend some more using a fluffy blending brush. This is called your transition color, it adds depth to your eye and make it easier to blend other colors onto the eyelid.

It's widely accepted that color is not appropriate for the office especially in corporate environments but if used correctly, color can take your eye look to new levels. I recommend using matte, darker tones and only as an accent in the outer corner of the eye, color all over the lid can come across as too playful for the office. Using a flat shader I applied a burgundy color to the outer eyelid in a C shape, start at the outermost corner of the eyelid and draw up into the crease covering the transition color, then grab your blending brush and blend blend blend.

Next I added a very thin black gel liner only to the lid to frame the eye, cat eyes are best kept for evening. In order to achieve a more day time friendly look I recommend swapping out your black or brown eyeliner for a flesh toned liner to open up the eye.

I then swept some sketch in the lower lash line using a pencil brush,starting at the outer corner and sweeping in to about halfway. Finish your eye with a coat or two of mascara.

Step 4:Finishing strong To finish the look I swept an orange toned blush over the cheeks to add some color and bring warmth to her face. I finished the look with a soft brownish-pink lipstick. Spritz on a make up setting spray to ensure your look stays in place all day.

58

Perfectly shaped Brows have been enjoying a major

where it should end, make sure you are

moment in the beauty spotlight of late.

looking straight ahead into the mirror

Beauty aisles have exploded with

which should not be angled up or down.

various powders, pomades, gels and

Your tweezers are your route marker,

contraptions all aimed at helping you

place your tweezers vertically along the

achieve the perfect pair, here’s

outside of the lower section of your nose

everything you need to know about

and up towards your brow, place your first

how to keep your brow affairs in order.

mark on the brow in line with your tweezers, this indicates where your brow should begin pluck any hairs outside of this mark. Now take your tweezers and place

If the eyes are “the windows of the soul” then your brows are the window frame. The starting point of your brow routine is making sure your brows are correctly shaped. In my view this is best left to a professional, you can then maintain the shape with at-home plucking however do try and get your brows shaped professionally every 3 months.

one end again at the bottom of the nose, now angle the other side towards the outer corner of your eye, the spot where the tweezer intersects your eye indicates where your brow should end. Now for the hard part, measuring out your arch. Use your brow pencil to mark out an natural arch with the highest point being in line with the outer point of your iris. Pluck carefully in a well lit room, eyebrow hair

If you’re intent on doing it yourself you

can take a while to grow back. If you have

will need a mirror, a pair of tweezers

unruly brows or very long brow hairs then

and a marker such as a brow pencil or

trimming may be necessary, brush your

brow powder. Start by measuring

brows up and using a pair of small nail

where your brow should begin and

scissors carefully trim any long hair.

59

Do not attempt to wax your brows by yourself unless you are very comfortable with shaping your own brows as wax is far more difficult to control than good old tweezers and is thus more likely to end in a brow emergency.

When shaping your brows remember the age old brow mantra “Your eyebrows are sisters, not twins”, trying to get your pair to match completely could result in over plucking.

me let you in on a secret, eyeshadow

recommend professional brow tinting to

works just as well as long as its matte.

keep brows looking full and healthy. I find

Choose a colour that matches your

that home tinting kits don't last as long

natural brow colour. Use an small angled

and if you wish to take this route please

brow brush, this brush must have stiff

read product instructions carefully. No

bristles. Pick up minimal product and tap

matter which route you take, directly

brush to remove excess product, place

after tinting, your brows will look harsh

that’s your style, you should never leave

product under brow and brush through,

but the colour will fade and appear more

the house without brushing your brows.

there should be no harsh lines. This

natural usually within a short period of

This may sounds completely ridiculous

technique can also be used to conceal any

time

but try it and you’ll see that it makes all

brow shaping mistakes until your brows

the difference in achieving a groomed

grow back.

Even if you’re a 5 minute make up kinda girl your brows should always be included in your beauty routine. You wouldn't leave the house without brushing your hair…or maybe you would…but even if

look. All you need is a spoolie brush, which is essentially a good old mascara wand minus the mascara. You can pick these up at any beauty store or if you are into recycling, carefully clean your old mascara wand(remove all product) and get grooming. When brushing your brows use short strokes directed up and away from your nose and smooth down the ends.

effort required to keep those two pesky,

Step 3 is for those who want to pass the

but important, patches of hair above your

brow exam with flying colours, set brows

eyes in perfect condition but I guarantee

with a gel or brow wax. I personally love

you whether your look is minimal or glam

brow gels, they improve longevity of brow

there’s no getting around it, brows are

shape & fill. Tinted brow gels are built for

pivotal to being polished.

the busy girl because they are all 3 steps in 1! They fill brows & keep them in place using a spoolie brush to make sure no hair is out of place. These can be a little tricky to get the hang of and my suggestion is

If your brows are sparse or if you prefer

that you remove as much product as

a bolder brow then step 2 is to fill your

possible as it is very easy to over do it with

brows. You can fill brows using a brow

a brow gel but they are a great beauty

powder, brow pencil or brow pomade.

hack and well worth the effort.

Once your brows are correctly shaped

It turns out that there is a fair amount of

Brows for mature make up

filling is really a colour in the lines kind of exercise but I urge you to start with

As with all things in life, the minute you

minimal product & slowly build up if

have the game figured out, the rules

necessary. I find that brow powder results

change and unfortunately it’s no different

in the most natural look and is easiest to

when it comes to your brow game.

control, many brands now offer powders

Sooner or later you brows follow in the

specifically formulated for brows but let

footsteps on your hair and go grey. I

60

How to Shop for Brushes The most common mistake women make

fluffy brush, bristles are dense enough to

separate easily. Bristles should be made

with make up is not owning the correct

pick up and pack on product, but soft

of synthetic fibres that will not absorb

tools for application, this article will help

enough to distribute product evenly on

product which allows for better product

you navigate the wonderful world of

the skin. You will need 2 eyeshadow

transfer and more precise eyeshadow

make up brushes so that you’ll never have

blending brushes in your starter kit. We

a make-up malfunction as a result of bad

recommend the CALA blending brush 311

brushes again

available at Dischem (R29,95)

placement. You will need 2 flat shader brushes

in

your

starter

kit.

We

recommend the 242 Shader Brush by

Lets start with which brushes are essential

The flat shader eyeshadow brush: The

to a basic make up kit:

challenge with eyeshadow is moving it

The eye shadow blending brush: Blending

from its pan to your lid, this is where the

is the art of brushing product into the skin

flat shader eyeshadow brush works like a

to achieve a look that is seamless and

charm. This brush must have firm bristles

more natural. This is what will turn your

which will allow you to pick up enough

to create precise lines and the best thing

make up from drab to fab, but you need

product, to test density of brush push

about this brush is its versatility. This bad

the right blending brush to achieve this.

firmly on the tip of the brush bristles, they

boy can be used with both liquid or

A good blending brush is a domed shaped

should have some give but should not

powder to line the eye OR can be used

61

MAC (R350) The small angled brush: Dynamite comes in small packages and this brush is just that. The small angled brush is designed

Shop Like an Expert with pomade or powder to fill and shape

The foundation/concealer applicator

eyebrows. Finding the perfect small

sponge: Foundation application can be

angled brush can be tricky as this brush

tricky without the correct tool and while

sponge all over face using the pointed

needs to be fairly stiff with densely

there

my

tip to get into the areas under the eyes

packed bristles but must be soft enough

recommendation for quick and flawless

and around the nose. This technique can

to move with your skin. You will need 1

application is a foundation sponge. Now

be used for both foundation and

small angled brush but if using for both

you may be thinking that I'm crazy

concealer. These sponges need to be

eye lining and eyebrows be sure to clean

because traditional sponges soak up

cleaned regularly have about a 6 month

brush between applications

product and often don't blend well but

life span. We recommend the Cosmetic

that’s because you haven't used the

sponge by Big Apple available at

correct one and you probably haven't

Checkers (R35,99)

The spoolie brush: One of the most underrated brushes in most kits - this brush is a powerhouse of utility. The spoolie brush is essentially a mascara wand without the mascara and the great

are

endless

options

used it correctly. If you’ve watched any make up tutorial recently you will be familiar with a tear drop shaped, usually

The Angled face Brush: Much like the small angled brush, the angled face brush is a jack of many trades. This brush

luminous pink, device that blends out

thing about this brush is that most

can be used to apply blush, bronzer and

foundation and concealer in seconds.

women don't have to buy one. You can

highlighter and is essential to any kit.

This is the Beauty Blender however this

When shopping for the perfect angled

get away with repurposing an old

little legend can be rather pricey but

brush look for a brush which is soft and

mascara wand but make sure it is

there are great dupes on the market that

bouncy, this will assist in blending. When

cleaned of all product before use. This

work just as well for a fraction of the

using this brush always place the highest

brush is used for brushing brows into

price. When shopping for a good quality

angle of the brush on the face and

place as well as brushing out lashes to

foundation sponge, start by giving it a

sweep outwards to achieve beautifully

get rid of unsightly mascara clumps. This

squeeze, its needs to be firm but soft and

sculpted cheekbones. We recommend

brush can also be used to lift misplaced

bouncy. When using a sponge for

the Cala Angled Contour 302 (R69,95)

mascara off the skin, but do take care by

foundation application soak sponge in

available at Dischem.

making sure the product has dried and

water and squeeze as much water out as

by using gentle strokes. You will need 1

possible, then squeeze in a towel. This

spoolie brush in your kit. We recommend

prevents sponge from soaking up your

Disposable Mascara wands available at

product. To ensure flawless application

Dischem (R14,99 for a 12 pack)

apply product to face and bounce

62

Beauty Essentials

The Powder brush: The old faithful

For both hygiene and longevity purposes

loosen the glue that holds bristles in

powder brush in a long standing favourite

brushes need regular care, ideally you

place. Shake brush to remove any excess

of most women but be sure you pick one

should employ two methods for brush

water or squeeze in a dry towel and dry

cleaning. The first is a dry method of

flat on a towel overnight.

that is big and fluffy. This will allow you to pick up and distribute powder to your

cleaning, simply clean brushes using a make up remover wipe and gently clean

entire face for perfect coverage. We recommend the Real Techniques Powder Brush available at Foschini (R199.95) As a general rule the make up applicators or brushes that come with make up, such as in an eye shadow palette, are useless.

product off brushes, I recommend doing this after every second application. Once a month your brushes will need a wet

Remember the right tools can make all the difference in your make up application and you don't need an arsenal of brushes to achieve a flawless face.

Once you have your basic brush kit be

wash. Using a mild soap or baby shampoo

sure to take care of them correctly and I

and warm water submerge only the

guarantee they will take care of you.

bristles in water & clean. Wash brushes upside down and never submerge brush

The handles are small making control of

in water, this allows water to enter brush

the brush difficult and the bristle quality

barrel (metallic piece that connects

is often poor.

bristles to brush handled) which can

63

Psychology of colouring

By Louise Parker, Artist When I was asked to write an article on

anyone

the topic, I was hesitant to tackle the

therapy.

calling

it

subject, although I am an artist, I have little experience in being a colourist (The

You might be wondering what on earth

name given to people who colour in). In

the difference is between the terms: A

fact, if anything, I am banned from

simplistic

colouring in with my 9 year old daughter.

Something about me taking too long because I insist on colouring every white

example

is:

knitting

more particularly coping with the adverse effects of stress.

is

therapeutic, but it can’t replace therapy if you’ve just suffered a trauma or struggle with a psychosomatic condition.

Colourists themselves are providing plenty of evidence of positive results from the activity. Here are some of the findings

space on the page (what happened to

of those involved in colouring: Colouring

balanced design??). And then there’s my

can be used as a relaxation and calming

obsession with shading and ensuring the strokes aren’t visible. I won’t say I’m

The same can be said about colouring: it

tool. Its a great stress buster.

is therapeutic: make no mistake, it is a creative endeavour, and the process of

The time and focus required to work on

colouring often leads to a person

colouring pages removes the focus from

the colouring strokes… It’s a curse, I tell

discovering themselves, something about

negative issues like obsessive compulsive,

you.

themselves, or finding a space that makes

stress,

pedantic, but we won’t mention the ruler that gets used to measure the angle of

them feel safe or comfortable. It allows

anxiety,

depression,

anger

management, and substance abuse.

I researched and found that colourists are

them to be with their own thoughts.

Colouring can be used as a

adamant that their hobby is therapeutic,

Colouring can also be part of a process of

relaxation and calming tool. Its

while professionals are prickly about

coping with uncomfortable feelings and

64

a great stress buster.

Colour Me In The activity reminds colourists of a

were outraged that their daughters were

strokes, a colourist has the opportunity

simpler time of life and childhood – being

reading literary drivel with characters

to shirk responsibilities and engage in a

able to do something for the simple joy

that were quite frankly pathetic. But I

non-confrontational activity without any

of the activity.

think they missed the point: their daughters were reading… not texting, not

Colouring is an activity that strengthens

on Facebook, not playing a mindless

focus and concentration. The activity uses

game for hours on the phone.

earth shattering consequences. And the wonderful thing about the activity is that it can become a springboard to something else. Perhaps the courage for

both left and right side of the brain: fine motor skills are developed as well as

I think the same can be said for colourists.

an art class? Or simply doodling some

problem solving as the colourist evaluates

To extract yourself from a digitally obese

designs. The fact that the colourist has

colour and balance to make the page

society and do something that while it

lifted a pen/pencil to paper and is

visually appealing.

may not fit the strict format of creativity

engaged in something other than a

and therapy, it still provides the benefits

Facebook update about how perfect their

Art and creativity provides so many

of those activities, is something we can’t

additional benefits that many people miss

negate.

life is, speaks volumes to me about a healthier society.

out on since they don’t feel they are adept enough to participate. Colouring

Here we have individuals who are

books are providing an opportunity for

reducing blood pressure, coping with

these individuals to enjoy similar benefits.

illness and stress by engaging in an

pointers. Pick up your chosen medium -

A while ago, there was a massive debate

activity that isn’t sitting in front of a TV.

pen or pencil crayon and colour away!

about the Twilight saga. Some women

In those quiet moments of rhythmic

So, please ignore the professional finger

Colouring can also be part of a process of coping with uncomfortable feelings.

65

Our Intentions to Serve

By Nyeleti Theo Maluleka My name is Nyeleti Theo Maluleke. I was born on the 18th of

achieve. I was not sending my love to loved ones, or praying

July 1976; this means I turned 40 years a week ago. On the

for world peace, or wishing for more people to be

day of my 40th birthday, I woke up with an ‘empty mind’ - I

environmentally aware.

literally had ‘nothing to think about’. No plans, no wishes, no regrets, no questions, and yes no new ideas. For the first time

I was simply there – and my mind was silent and I was not even

in my life, I had no questions to ask God, I was not wondering

meditating. This happened without any effort; it happened

about what God wanted me to do or how he wanted me to

not because I thought of it, planned on it or wished for it, it

do it, or whether God thought I was fully living a purposeful

simply happened.

life or not. Alas on my 40th birthday, I was not writing long lists

their lives ‘over-thinking things’, this was a real milestone, a

of the things I was grateful for, or things I would still like to

true revelation!

68

For someone who has spent 20 years of

BACK IN TIME

I also kept my own personal journals, and today at 40 years old,

When I was 18 years old, I was told I had a calling. Although I did

personal journal.

not bother back then, to ask what it meant to have a calling, I

Writing is not the only area I felt ‘highly gifted’, during my years

do know for sure that, that statement changed the state of

as a student Social worker, I was also drawn to the creative

affairs in my head. It left me with a questioning mind, and not

space. I often had people wondering whether I was an Art

just a questioning mind, but a ‘dreamy’ or ‘airy fairy’ kind of

student or a Social work student. I knew I did not want to be an

mind. I am not even sure that my ‘dreamy state’ was a result of

Art student, but I was drawn to Art because I recognized the Art

being told I had a calling, but I do remember being acutely aware

space as an outlet for self-expression, and be it performance art,

at 20 years of age, that my pace of thinking about intangible

fine art or visual art. In the end of my exploration of the Artistic

notions was slightly’ over the top’.

space, I settled decisively for bead work and traditionally

I have kept all my journals from my twenties and I still keep a

inspired crafts as another platform for creative expression.

This was during my years as a student Social worker - a period in my life I was introduced to concepts such as ‘self –awareness’

After graduating as a Social worker, life led me to a context I

as a critical aspect of being a healer. It was in my social work

never would have considered as a possible career path for a

classes that I was introduced to concepts and processes that

Social worker; my first job was in a National Park. Again, I was

encouraged a reflective state of being. Concepts such as

introduced to a whole new world – a world that saw me become

Introspection, empathy, Immediacy, ‘gut feeling’, ‘your silent

super aware of the importance of taking care of our natural

place within’, and many other concepts that facilitate the

environment. Through this job, I advocated for trees to be

development of a greater sense of self awareness. This was

protected, for water to be used wisely and for animals to be

heaven for me, because it catered for my need for self-

protected.

expression. Although I was already aware of my love for writing at that age, I was not consistent with it. But my Social work training gave me a platform for writing consistently, about my

TODAY

inner world.

Today at 40 years, I have been asked too many questions regarding the different roles I have played in my professional

As part of our practical training; we had to write extensive field

life. The question is whether I am an Artist, a creative

work reports and also kept daily diaries of our field activities.

entrepreneur, a social worker, or an environmental activist. I

Our field work reports were not just an account of what we did

have never answered that question in one sentence because I

with our clients, but also an account of what emotions we

realised now that the answer to that question does not

experienced during our counselling session with clients. This was

necessarily have to be a one word answer. So I can never be just

heaven for me, and I was not taking it for granted. So in addition

a Social worker, or a creative entrepreneur or ‘a lover of trees’.

to keeping a Social work field diary, and writing long reports

I can be all of the above, depending on what I am being called

about our sessions and emotional experiences with our clients,

to do at a given time.

69

In the same way as a woman can be a daughter, a sister, a

Today, I run an accessory design business called Natural

member of a community, and a mother herself, depending on

Mystique. Through this work, I get to create fashion accessories

which of her role is called for at a given time; I can be many things

for women, I have never received any formal training as accessory

because God has anointed me to carry out different purposes

designer, it is simply one of the gifts I received from God. Through

and to play different roles, the problem arises when we over

the accessory design business, I also get to teach creative skills

identified with one aspect of our gifts for fear of being called

to young people, I am not a Teacher by profession; but teaching is one of the gifts I am now exploring.

scattered or confused.

I also write inspirational verses and insights on a regular basis.

The notion that we can be gifted in different areas was made much clearer 4 months ago when I surrendered my life to Christ.

My journey with Jesus Christ made me realised that we all are called to walk with God, and by walking fully with him, we come to walk on his purpose for our lives. And when that happens, all

My writing now is much clearer and full of wisdom. I have always known that, but I did not trust my voice as far as writing from a healing /motivational angle is concerned. But with the sense of clarity I received through Jesus Christ as my saviour, I do not doubt that writing is another one of my gifts.

this fretting and endless wondering about whether we are living our purpose will simply fall away.

This is what I do now, however in 3 months’ time, I will start a creative play group, with young children aged 4 -9 years. The

The day I turned 40 years, I woke up with an Empty mind. I had

group aims to expose children to creative forms of play. Working

no questions for God, no questions about what he wants me to

with children has always been another one of my passions. But

do, or how he wants me to be of service.

the motivation for starting this play group comes from observing how children today are deprived in play forms that stimulate

Ever since that day, I wake up with an empty mind, and as the

creative development.

day unfolds, I see God presenting me with opportunities to serve, and I fully understand what the passage below means.

Because I am no longer worried about ‘wanting to do too many things,’ there seem to be an invisible thread that is holding the different gifts in perfect harmony. That invisible thread comes from walking decisively on the Purpose of God.

70

L u x u r y

m a g a z i n e

f o r

t h e

A u t h e n t i c

W o m a n

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