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W W W. E S P E R A N C E T I D E . C O M Issue 38 • Friday May 18, 2018 • Free Fortnightly


Pour the Pimms and cut the crusts off the cucumber sandwiches, it’s royal wedding time! Whether you’re planning on sobbing over the love story or lamenting the fact everyone’s favourite Prince Harry or Suits dreamgirl Meghan Markle didn’t choose you instead, we’re in for a spectacle more exciting than Pippa Middleton’s derrière walking down Kate and Will’s aisle. Tide HQ is keen as Colman’s English mustard and we’d be lying if we said Netflix’s The Crown hadn’t turned us into softies for Queen Lilibet and her balding tribe. Of course, as Graham Figley points out in Chappy’s Point (page 13), not everyone is as enthusiastic about the monarchy, and it’s likely we’ll see great changes to the Commonwealth over the next few years. Speaking of changes, as of the next edition, out June 1, Esperance Tide will be dropping on the first Friday of each month. Let us reign over your coffee table just a little bit longer.

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Royal Mess

Rock Royalty

King Tinqs

Royal Visits



Hell sunset. MIN





Early surf. MIN




MONDAY 21 Still no wind.

You beauty. 9






No wind, no worries.

Publisher Esperance Tide ABN 46 838 497 722 Advertising Enquiries 0429 160 550 or 0419 602 851 Creative Director Bronte Vincent Editorial Director Jesse McCarthy-Price 2 • ES P ERA N C E T I D E

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Royalty in Esperance by Karli Florisson

In 1979, Prince Charles embarked on a tour of Western Australia. It was during this trip the very eligible bachelor was kissed by Perth model Jane Priest as he came out of the water in his swimming trunks at Cottesloe Beach, leading to an infamous photo moment. Prince Charles visited many regional areas, including Esperance, piloting the airplane himself on the trip from Albany. Many Esperance locals have fascinating memories of this visit. School children from all over the region lined up to wave flags when Prince Charles drove by. Janine Cream was a school girl at the time, and remembers showing the Prince some sketches she had drawn. Cream also recalls another schoolgirl kissing him on the cheek while she was talking to him. “He said, ‘What a pretty girl’, and lost interest in me and my sketches.” While in Esperance, Prince Charles stayed at the historic Dempster Homestead. He also did a walk down Andrew Street, meeting some of the assembled crowd. Lorri Western remembers Prince Charles stopping to talk to her and her baby daughter, who was fascinated by the Princes’ shiny cufflinks. He told her the cufflinks were a gift from his recent 31st birthday. Prince Charles wasn’t the first royal to visit Esperance. In 1966, the Queen Mother visited the newly-opened wharf. The town’s school children

were all lined up in the sun on a scorching hot day, waiting a long time to see the royal visitor, and Steve Florisson recalls at least one child fainting. Sue Iles remembers her sister not coping very well with the heat, and throwing up just after the Queen Mother walked past, much to her mother’s embarrassment. According to Yvonne Larmour, the school children were all told to burst into ‘God Save The Queen’ when the Queen Mother’s big black car came over the hill. Larmour recalls, “But the first black car to come over the hill was only Mrs Birmingham, in her old black Peugeot, and she got a full rendition of the song before they could silence us.” Barb Terrell, one of the first teachers at Castletown Primary School, remembers the Queen Mother as elegant and serene, showing no sign of being affected by the heat. Want more local history? Head to

Esperance Bay Historical Society presents


Esperance in the Sixties Tuesday, June 5 at 10am Esperance Museum Guest Speaker Former MLA for Roe and agricultural pioneer Geoff Grewar Gold coin morning tea available

4 • ES P ER A N C E T I D E


My Mum Is A Superhero BANG! I landed on the rock hard path, got up and had cuts and bruises all over me. I picked up my scratched skateboard and limped back to my house. Mum rushed outside to see me half crying. Mum knew exactly what had happened and exactly how to fix it. WIZZZZ! Mum fired her super kindness beam at me. Suddenly, I forgot all about falling off my skateboard and I went inside and covered up my cuts as happy as could be. “Hurry up!” Dad yelled. “We need to be at the Civic Centre in 10 minutes!” I threw on my best clothes and jumped into the car, and we sped down the driveway. There were people everywhere, some were talking, others were laughing as they waited anxiously for the show to start. The clock had ticked 10 minutes past the time the show was meant to start, when suddenly a voice came over the speaker. “Harrison Tobin, where is Harrison

Tobin?” “Where is he? He should be here,” I whispered. “I will go check what is going on,” Mum whispered. So she walked backstage and out of sight. She searched backstage and he was nowhere to be seen. So she checked outside, and there she saw my older brother sitting anxiously on a chair. “What is wrong, Harrison? You are the lead role, you are meant to be on stage,” Mum said anxiously. “I am scared!” my brother said. Mum looked at the growing crowd. It was a bit more than double the size it was before. WHOOOSH! Mum blasted her bright, sparkling, super kindness beam straight at my brother. He suddenly jumped up, full of energy, and ran out onto the empty stage. Mum walked back to her seat and sat down.“What was wrong?” I asked. “Oh, it was nothing,” Mum answered with a grin on her face. We were all silent as we watched the show. We walked out of the busy theatre, it had been a great night and an extremely entertaining show. Lucas Tobin, 11 Our Lady Star Of The Sea


Culture Pops Learn more about what’s on in Esperance by visiting Theatre buffs rejoice. Black Swan Theatre Company’s Summer of the Seventeenth Doll is being simulcast live to the Esperance Civic Centre from 7.30pm. Set in Carlton, Melbourne, the story details an eventful summer for six characters over the summer of 1953. It’s known as one of the first play to openly and authentically portray distinctly Australian life and characters. MAY


Dean Haitani is a singer/songwriter recently returned from living and touring in the UK and Europe. His tunes incorporate smooth blues and are, to quote Kyza, “Just so damn easy to listen to”. Dean plays Esperance Motor Hotel on Saturday, from 8.30pm. MAY


Head to Loose Goose and join in the second instalment of Esperance Jazz & Blues Club’s Sunday sesh. Supported by visiting act Dean Haitani from 5pm, celebrate your Sunday with smooth sounds and a smooth glass of red. MAY


Ash Grunwald tickets are selling very fast in the lead up to his appearance at Cannery Arts Centre on Friday, May 25. Grunwald will be supported by John Ratcliff and Grand Casual in this intimate 18+ event. To purchase tickets, visit MAY


It’s back! Melbourne International Comedy Festival’s roadshow will hit Esperance Civic Centre this month. Home-delivering hot and tasty comic treats to audiences near and far, this roving tourde-comedy features funnymakers from Australia and beyond. Tickets $45, available via Shire of Esperance website. MAY


Fancy a bit of a road trip? Head to Hopetoun to see Campbell Garratt support Grand Casual at Wavecrest Bar & Bistro from 4pm on Sunday, June 3. With the WA Day public holiday the following day, exceptional times are afoot. JUN



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Maybe winter will become a time to reconnect with the people I love. When I’m super busy, I tend to think to myself, ‘If people want to see me, they will drop past the sound desk at a gig here or there’. That usually results in a hasty conversation followed by, “Sorry, I’ve just got to get back to this”. An unrewarding interaction at best.

Over the last two weeks I have had no gigs. It’s felt rather odd to have a couple of weekends free. What I’ve noticed most, is the impact a hectic schedule has on our relationships. It becomes very easy to not make that phone call, to not drop in for that coffee. Of course, people understand this, that life gets in the way. Though shouldn’t maintaining valuable relationships have a higher standing in what we consider important?

I’ve written a new song, yet to be named. The lyrics lament the impact of stress on our everyday lives, how overstimulation and zero downtime leads to a lack of energy, which inevitably results in us being a lot less productive than we could be. At times of stress, I’ve found myself sitting on the couch with a block of mint Aero, staring at the wall, feeling generally broken. In those moments, if I could just put whatever it is I’m working on aside and catch up with friends, pick up my guitar or just breathe, I know I’d be a lot better off. Kyron Smithson



Ash Grunwald It’s been a while since we heard from Ash Grunwald. A household name in the noughties, his last album NOW, came out in 2015 before things went pretty quiet. There’s no one that silence was more deafening for than the five-time ARIA nominated musician himself. “I went to America and recorded an album that ended up falling in a heap,” he says. “When you're a musician it can be tough on your ego. If you're killing it, it can be tough on your perspective. And if you're not doing well, it's tough to keep your confidence. “Like all of life, it's tough to not take things personally and not see your career as a reflection of your self worth.” Fortunately, with the help of a new manager, Grunwald has been able to track down the lost LA sessions, with a new album coming out later this year. “[It] is a collection of different recordings over the past four years,” Grunwald says. “It's got some amazing players that feature on the record from America, some legends of blues.” Esperance locals will chance a sneak peek of the upcoming tracks when Grunwald takes the stage of Cannery Arts Centre on May 25.

8 • ES P ER A N C E T I D E

The musician’s WA booking agent is local Cole Bishop, and before he rose to national prominence, Grunwald stopped often in Esperance while touring the regional circuit. He says the community has a special place in his heart. “I have really fond memories, many great surfs and the pristine beaches. I remember spending one Christmas with my wife and having Christmas on the beach,” he says. “To be honest, I never even thought this album was going to come out, but [it’s] thanks to my new manager for chasing that up and making that happen.

Q&A Thoughts on Australia's future in the Commonwealth? I think we should stand on our own two feet Would you rather give up beer or coffee? I used to love my beer, but for 2018 I'm not drinking and as a result, I am drinking gallons of coffee this year. If you were on death row, what would your final meal be? I'd probably have a curry!

“It's a record that means a lot to me so I'm really excited for everyone else to hear it.”

What was the first instrument you fell in love with?

And if all else fails, the Bali-residing creative has a foolproof plan.

I started playing the guitar when I was 10.

“I'm actually going to be writing a book about surfing musicians, which should be out next year,” he says. “I think if my touring slows down, I'll be playing and surfing [in Esperance] a lot”.

Who's in your Recently Added lately? The real guitar gods—Hendrix, Stevie Ray Vaughan, then some of the more recent ones like Derek Trucks, Gary Clark Jr and Joe Bonamassa.


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Bubble n’ Squeak It’s a royal mess! Ingredients 500g potatoes, peeled, chopped 300g brussels sprouts 1 leek 20g butter 1 brown onion, halved, thinly sliced 2 tbsp horseradish cream Olive oil Method 1. Boil potatoes for 12 to 15 minutes or until potato is tender. Drain and transfer to a bowl. Roughly mash, keeping potato slightly chunky and set aside to cool. 2. Cook brussels sprouts in a large saucepan of boiling water for 5 minutes or until tender. Drain and stand for 5 minutes to cool, then roughly chop. 3. Melt butter in a heavy-based, non-stick frying pan over medium-low heat. Cook onion and leek, stirring, for 10 minutes or until golden. Add onion, leek, brussels sprouts and horseradish cream to potato. Stir until well combined. Heat pan over low heat. Spread potato mixture over base of pan, pressing down firmly. Cook for 10 to 12 minutes or until the base is crisp. 4. Preheat grill on high. Drizzle olive oil lightly over mixture. Place pan under grill and cook for 3 minutes or until top is golden. Stand in pan for 5 minutes then serve.

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10 • ES P E RA N C E T I DE


SEP 23 - OCT 22

Career, parenting, finance—you’re Kate Middleton balancing three children and a future crown. The truth is, you’re going to drive everyone mad if you continue to juggle such an twisted act of perfection. Show some humanity.


APR 20 - MAY 20

You work hard and we all rely on you to be sturdy, but like Prince Charles, you can come across as a bit pompous and stubborn when you get lost in the seriousness of your role. Lighten up! Or we’ll make you abdicate.


MAY 21 - JUN 20

Oh, wow. You’re a real daredevil and everyone loves you for it, but sometimes you push things a bit too far. Like Prince Harry circa 2005 at a costume party, remember to learn from your mistakes and heed the advice of the elders who love you. JUN 21 - JUL 22 CANCER Look out Meghan Markle, Cancer is coming through. People really want to hate you because you’re charming, delightful and accomplished, but don’t let them dull your sparkle. You deserve all of your successes. JUL 23 - AUG 22 LEO Like a good bottle of red and the Queen Mother, you just kept getting better with age. You’re no longer bothered by the opinions of insignificants and you’re done with everyone’s nonsense. Cherish your new sense of self and use it to influence others. AUG 23 - SEP 22 VIRGO Your trajectory isn’t clear yet—there are few annoying [fatherly] obstacles in your way. Give yourself a few years and, like Prince William, you will be a well-loved leader of your community. But it’s a long road so make sure you don’t lose your lust for life.




OCT 23 - NOV 21 SCORPIO What do you and Princess Diana have in common? First of all, you’re a good person. A voice of the people who can’t stand pretension. But you’re on target to become a victim to someone else’s cause. Be careful or make sure it’s worth it.


NOV 22 - DEC 21

You’re mischievous and say some outlandish things, but like Prince Phillip, your heart is (probably) in the right place. But no one will ever know for sure if you don’t give people a chance to see the softer side they’re not expecting.


DEC 22 - JAN 19

Almost everything you do is careful and considered—you rarely let your hair down. Like the Queen, you can seem a little cold and detached and people have a hard time getting to know you. Let a bit of love in.


JAN 20 - FEB 17

The world is not always kind to you, Aquarius, but it’s made you a survivor. You keep your cards closer to your chest than Camilla Parker-Bowles and while it doesn’t make you a particularly popular person, it does get you what you want.


FEB 18 - MAR 19

You’re quite zesty and you don’t get bogged down in the muck of life. You’d rather trot around an event in a fabulous hat like Princess Beatrice and Eugenie than be politicking in Buckingham Palace. No one takes you seriously, but who cares?


MAR 20 - APRIL 19

Like Prince Andrew, no one knows who the heck you are. Who cares if you’ve publically disgraced yourself before? You’re way too much of a loner. Reveal a bit more of yourself to the world and we might actually like you.


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ES PER A N CE T I DE • 1 1

Hilton Andrews, Carpenter Who’s your favourite member of the royal family?

What’s your favourite Tradie deli?

Don’t know them personally so it’s hard to say.

Duncs. It’s just so good because if you need to do a bit of shopping you can.

What are you having for lunch? Lasagna leftovers I made with my girlfriend Brandi. Do you think Australia should stay in the Commonwealth? She’s irrelevant so it doesn’t really matter. What’s your favourite thing about winter in Esperance? Bigger swell. No flies. Would you rather work in summer or winter? I reckon they’re both as bad. What’s your drink of preference right now?

What’s your favourite part of a job?

Ace, 6 years old

Job satisfaction when it’s done. Customer relations. Getting paid.

What’s your favourite snack? Leftovers

What advice would you give someone moving to Esperance?

What’s your favourite game?

Find a local girl, take advantage of the coast.

Are you a good swimmer?

Downtown or Coffee Cat? Coffee Cat for the iced coffee

What are you better at—digging or finding good sticks?

Favourite LBB beer?

Pretty good at digging.

Skippy Rock

Do you even surf?

Elsie by Little Creatures.

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In the other camp, we’ve got the sports fanatics who quite enjoy the Commonwealth Games, especially as it’s the only time Australia gets to dominate the medal count. I am also partial to watching Australia tear up on the sporting field and in the pool. But life would go on without the Games, and probably spare a lot of taxpayers funds.

Republic Notice The more time goes on, the less I can understand why Australia is still tied to the Queen and the Commonwealth. When there was a referendum on the matter in 1999, we only just stayed in. Only 54 per cent of us wanted a bar of the royal family, and that was two decades ago. I think there are only a few reasons why we are still linked to the mother country. First of all, there are all you monarchists who obsess over things like royal weddings and that Netflix series The Crown. You’re suckers for the fairytale, you like to imagine a world of kings and queens, castles and unicorns. You ignore the fact that in this make-believe narrative, you’re just a peasant. Then there’s the average Australian, who simply doesn’t care. You can’t be bothered voting in a referendum, or having to tweak the national anthem or figuring out what the new flag would have to look like. I get where you’re coming from and I salute your apathy to the crown. But how long can this nonsense go on for?

The most dangerous type, and I suspect this group might even make up the majority of Australians, are those who ‘don’t care’, but ‘kinda like ‘em’. You are charmed by royal visits, but mostly indifferent to the politics. Maybe you just don’t like change, or you’re obsessed with celebrities, but either way, you like the royals just enough to let them stick around. It’s an absolute shambles. Pull your head in, Australia. They’ve got to go. They’re a horrible symbol of class and entitlement, an affront to our national values of egalitarianism and a fair go. If a future King Charles isn’t enough to put you off your Weetbix, Queen Camilla should surely do the trick. Graham Figley Chappy’s Point is an opinion piece open to public submissions. We invite you to send yours to

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I’ll set the scene. It’s a crowded lineup on a small, fun day at Westie’s left. You’ve got your old dudes on mals, young crew on boogers in the shallows, backpackers on $80 second-hand boards getting knocked about in the white wash. You’ve got the more talented groms out the back, playing it cool with the established surfers. It’s hard to say whether the pecking order is unique to surfing or whether it’s a sample size of society at large. I suspect the latter.


At the end of the day, hierarchies exist everywhere. You’re always going to have your pack mentalities, your alpha dogs and your omegas, and eventually the alphas always get rolled and sentenced to a life of eyerolls from the young fellas and mal surfing at Fourths. You can’t fight it. What you can change though, is the type of species we award that top spot to. It rarely comes down to surfing ability, there’s layers of political crap at play. But wouldn’t it be nice if the kings of the lineup weren’t grade-A wankers? As this column regularly denotes, the waves just aren’t that good here to carry on like you’re protecting the next Teahupoo. Don’t be a dickhead. Shrimp Dickens

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1 2 4


5 6

7 8 9


11 12

Across Down

3. Decade of Prince Charles’ visit to Esperance

1. Suburb of Esperance

5. Visiting cruise ship line

2. Harbour near Wharton Beach

7. Beach suburb of Albany

4. Queen mother

9. WA Australian of the Year, Carey

6. Funding initiative, for regions

10. Day of royal wedding

8. Southwest town, River

11. Street of Esperance Residential College 12. Dempster brother

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ES PER A N C E T I DE • 1 5


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Located just 10 mins drive from Esperance townsite is this impressive 37Ha property. Sprawling 3 bedroom, 2 bathroom main residence, open plan living with lofted ceiling, games room and office. Huge studio with living quarters, machinery shed, cattle yards and an equestrian arena. Supplement your income with 3 fully self contained cottages each including 1, 2 or 3 bedrooms. House & cottages all located on sprawling lawns and gardens. Ocean & island views.

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61 Rowse Street, Nulsen

$425,000 Strike While the Iron’s Hot!

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A solid brick and tile 3 bedroom home will delight with modern kitchen with gas stove, adjacent dining and separate lounge. Linoleum tiles throughout plus tiled wet areas. Colorbond fence to front of house with double gated entry to huge rear yard. Relax on front porch.


This generous residence provides a relaxed open plan design. There’s no shortage of extra living space as the home provides separate theatre room, kitchen/dining area and family zone and 4 spacious bedrooms for the growing family with 2 well-appointed bathrooms. Timber alfresco and double garage with drive through access to huge rear shed.

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Esperance Tide 18th May 2018  
Esperance Tide 18th May 2018