Questions That Linger in Our Hearts

The Rev. Peter Feltman-Mahan, Facilitator for 2023-24

Loving the Questions provides an opportunity to live out our baptismal covenant in our daily lives; to further explore who we are as part of God’s creation, and how we can live in the fullness of God’s love. The program is focused on the questions that linger in our hearts, the questions may be centered on the large matters in life, but they can also focus on matters that are important, but somewhat smaller.

As a participant, I found that Loving the Questions meetings allowed me to be part of a community that was filled with like-minded individuals, solely focused on supporting our ability to listen to God’s presence and movement. Engaging in this work as a community was profoundly meaningful. Although members did not offer specific counsel or advice, their listening, reflections, and responses provided me with language, images, and perspectives that God could use to increase my understanding about the questions that held my attention.

During this past year, the time spent in small-groups has focused on learning how to nurture the listening, not the speaking portion of our prayer lives. During small group sessions, members begin by considering a scripture, idea, or question, and then share their reflections. As they verbally share what they encountered during their time of reflection the other members of the small group hold that person in prayer. As they listen, they are encouraged to focus on four prayerful questions by Lois Lindbloom:

• God, what is your prayer for this person?

• God, what would you like my prayer to be for this person?

• God, is there anything I need to surrender in order to be present in your prayer?

• God, is there anything you desire me to say (or not say) on your behalf?

After listening to the speaker, the group members pause in silence. They then take turns sharing what they noticed from the speaker’s reflection. Members practice not offering advice, solutions, or even comfort. Rather, they offer simple words about what came to mind as the person spoke, or they decide that they may not have words to share and offer their presence, nothing more. This sounds like it would be infuriating, but it is not.

These four prayers are simple, but frequently generate powerful and formative responses for the original speaker. They require one to pause, to be absolutely present with others in the group, and to consider how God’s Spirit may be whispering to us as we listen for ourselves and others. Throughout the meeting, God is present in each word, each tear, each bit of laughter that is shared.

The Loving the Questions leaders, Rev. Jenny Gregg and Craig Hammond have, so prayerfully, recognized that the process of spiritual discernment must be meaningful for individuals who have engaged in the program each year; the devotions that become part of the program, the guest speakers, the activities, and the movement of the group over time vary year-to-year, based on the needs of the group.

During 2020, the sessions moved online. Although this change was necessary as caring for the health needs of others took on new focus, an online format is very effective for the work that happens in Loving the Questions. There is something very authentic about being at home, in the space where we normally find sanctuary and comfort, as we pray. Listen, and share about God’s movement in our lives. To nurture the skills in the sanctuary of home makes sense.

During Loving the Questions meetings, participants have shared important discoveries about God’s movement though their prayers and listening; discoveries that God was calling participants to pursue dreams that they set on hold, discoveries about pursuing (or not pursuing) holy orders, discoveries that their gifts are able to be used in the church in unexpected ways, discoveries that their gifts can be used to enrich the lives of others in their family and neighborhood. It has been a blessing to listen to these moments in the lives of each other. ♦