Deputy: Josephine Franks jfranks@ epigram.org.uk
Editor: Imogen Carter living@ epigram.org.uk
@e2Living
Deputy: Mona Tabbara mtabbara@ epigram.org.uk
HOW TO GO ON DATES AND INFLUENCE PEOPLE
Living
Living’s guide to the unspoken rules of approaching the opposite sex
T TO U O S E O G E N O THIS Facebook stalking is great THE LAYDEES for some light background research,
1
Don’t bring up past relationships in an attempt to casually get across how cool and laid back a girlfriend you were/will be when your victim finally gives in and realises how much they want to marry you. You’ve been talking about your ex-boyfriend for an hour and 45 minutes. You are a psycho.
2
scanning for any potential, minor obstacles I think they call them ‘girlfriends’or seizing the opportunity to stare directly at their face for a good hour in the comfort of y o u r own
Style
Do adhere to the mantra ‘less is more’. If you’re looking to attract a ‘nice boy’ keeping it simple whether it’s your fashion, conversation or general brain capacity, is the key to sexcess. If, however, you’re out for… a different kind of attention, then by all means pull those pleather Topshop hot pants an inch higher for optimal c h e e k exposure.
3
home, but if your skills in this area are worthy of commendation from the KGB, then extreme precaution must be taken. Letting slip how much you ‘love-that-round-necknavy-blue-jumper-with-the-teal trim-that-youwore-toyour-friend’s-18th-birthday-partyon-the-17th-July - back - home -in-London is, as I found out the hard way, a deal-breaker. I don’t see the problem either; it was a really nice jumper.
4
Was it the leftover kebab you ate from the bin for breakfast this morning? Was it ****???? The symptoms are all there, but unfortunately as of yet there has been no proven cause of your verbal diarrhoea. Many girls suffer from a severe case of this all too common illness, for which the only cure is a heavy dose of STFU. Whilst small talk is a necessary evil if you want to put the groundwork in on your new prey, they –apparently- don’t want to know about how the men in your family suffer from IBS, or about how you used to eat the plants in your house as a baby. Keep it cute, put it on mute.
5
Finally and most importantly; be yourself. Unless ‘yourself’ is verging on a clinically insane, emotionally unstable eager beaver. If that’s the case then lock yourself away – you are a hazardous threat to the general public and be absolutely anything and everything other than yourself.
Travel
Whether it’s that stack of dishes accumulating mold by the sink or the intimidating To Do list pinned at eye level on the wall, there are plenty of things which are Hidden in Plain Sight for students in Bristol. This issue e2 pokes its slender nose into the hidden nooks and crannies of student life in Bristol. Be it bars and shops that are slightly off the beaten track or the the hidden rules of social conduct with the opposite sex, e2 is here to reveal all.
Isobel Allen
e2 is brought to you by Living : Imogen Carter, Josephine Franks and Mona Tabbara will meet at 1.15 in the White Bear on Tuesday 6th of November Style : Lizi Woolgar and Anisha Gupta will meet at 1.15 in the White Bear on Wednesday 7th of November Travel : Alicia Queiro and Alex Bradbrook will meet at 1.15 in the Refectory on Monday 5th of November with e2 editor : Ant Adeane Illustrators: Alex Norris Sara Daoud
e2 online editor: Nicola Reid www.e2blog.tumblr.com