Enrol Yourself_Learning Marathon Showcase_London_2019

Living Curiously Enrol Yourself. Learning Marathon September 2019 - March 2020

Living Curiously

Over six months a group of twelve peers, from various walks of life, ventured into themes spanning belonging to unlearning from empathy to death, braving new worlds of authenticity, collective liberation, creativity and play. They found themselves challenging themselves, each other, public spaces, community, approaches to wellbeing and much more.

What they began to understand through this process, is that learning cannot be done alone. We need each other to unlearn and learn together how we might live through the struggles, the joys, the constrictions and the possibilities of our present day.

This booklet captures some of this journey, their learning, their curiosities and the challenges that emerged from their time together.

Learning Marathon Class of 2020 Emma Ashru Jones

Lorrianne Clarke

How might I practise loving myself unconditionally through writing?

How can I create and share in a way that is sustainable and nourishing for both me and others?

Alana Bloom

Meera Rajan

How might I create the world of my longing, through living it everyday?

How can death bring focus to life?

Chloe Bernard-Grahame

Diana Dobrin

What could I liberate if I stopped yearning to belong?

Vanessa Faloye How might we facilitate a justice that transforms, and doesn't transfer?

Reuben Christian How can I best serve myself and then the world, as an artist?

Braden Lake How can I create nature-trouble?

How can I use my passion for cities to encourage informal urban action at a neighbourhood level?

Jessica Spencer-Keyse What if we followed the joy?

Sophie Howarth How can I establish a regular studio practice?

Vanessa Faloye Question I came in with: How might we design radical unlearning that enrols humanity in collective liberation?

Question I leave with:

How might we facilitate a justice that transforms, and doesn't transfer?

Email: vanessa.faloye@gmail.com Instagram: @radicational Twitter: @vanessafaloye

Where has your question brought you to?

My question has taken me on a beautifully unexpected journey back to myself in a deeply introspective way. My original learning question was carved out of an accusation that I had for the world and everyone else, and what I didn't see coming was the mirror reflecting my own internalised and co-opted behaviours back at me. I continue to see all the micro and macro ways I perpetuate the very systems that I am committed to transforming. And so, my question brought me transcendence as a means of transformation.

One milestone that both sped up and slowed down my personal and professional growth along my learning marathon was being introduced to the work of adrienne maree brown which opened up an entire world of emergent strategy and pleasure activism. This inspired me to see what my vision for future generations is, how important it is to live that vision today, and how the practice of fractals is fundamental to systems change. I see that my original learning question was a conceptual question that sought an intellectually formulaic answer - and where I’m at now is a deep, somatic, cosmic, and spiritual possibility for me to love and live into existence.

“You cannot oppose that which you participate in.”

-

Dr. Jennifer McCabe

What have you created?

During my learning marathon, I learned to offer what I have and own what I am unconditionally. I learnt that success and failure are two equal outcomes with neither being better or worse - but that it's all data for taking the next elegant step towards my vision. Stepping into my power has been a huge part of what I've created during my learning marathon and from it I have created my action research project 'Radicational' which combines root cause research with problem-solving action. Through Radicational, I have published a number of blog articles, I hosted two public events, and began designing the initial iterations of a curricular programme in unlearning.

But perhaps, most importantly, I have had the opportunity to create such

deep, nourishing, trusting, and meaningful relationships with my Enrollers (and woes!) which has taught me so much about what it takes to make true change in this world. It's these non-capitalist creations that I am most proud of and that have moved me the most. In fact, I think it has been the radical act of not constantly creating products, services, and outputs that has been my most beautiful unlearning, healing, and creating of all.

Reflection on your learning journey My learning journey has been all about discovering new possibilities and stepping into them. I have found untapped possibilities within myself as a person. I have found exciting possibilities on the emerging horizons that even deeper praxis opens up for my life’s work and legacy. I have found effervescing possibilities in my relationships, in the most unlikely and unexpected of places and people. I have found renewed possibilities of pleasure and purpose, possibilities which I had l given up on without realising it. My learning journey has been an opportunity for me to reorient my life to the things that make my soul sing, I have found the importance of being present to my life, learning and a real understanding for the role that community plays in both those

dimensions. Looking back, I can see how my learning question gave me so much more than I could have ever put into words, rather it breathed into me a new love for life, work, and community which is something that felt very absent before. I now have incredible peers who I hope to be surrounded by forever, not to mention a visceral and memorable adventure of understanding what you don't know you don't know. My life is has been quite simply, changed. So many pathways of possibility have opened up for me that I forget were within my reach in the humdrum routine of everyday life. Now I understand how, as a learning community, the whole is definitely greater than the sum of its parts. Magic is what I’m carrying with me. Pure magic.

Interested in: forming a collective dedicated to transformative justice and Emergent Strategy as facilitation pedagogy and practice.

Emma Ashru Jones Question I came in with: How can I share my voice in a way that is healing for me and others?

Question I leave with:

How might I practise loving myself unconditionally through writing? www.emmaashrujones.com Email: emma.ashru.jones@gmail.com Instagram: @emma_ashru Twitter: @emma_ashru

Reflections on your learning journey

In the autumn of 2018, following the death of my beloved mother, I walked an ancient 500-mile pilgrimage, known as the Camino de Santiago. I didn’t know what it would entail, who I would meet or exactly why I needed to do it. I only had a sense it was quietly calling, and that it was going to be the beginning of healing.

Exactly two years later, I began another journey in a similar spirit. The sense of trusting in the unknown ahead, of stepping onto a well-trod path with fellow travellers, of carrying only the compass of a question:

How can I share my voice in a way that is healing for me and others?

My question began with an intuitive sense that there was a wellspring of words within me, wanting to bubble up and pour forth. And the shy hope that others may drink from that wellspring. I didn’t know if what was wanting to emerge was a play, a podcast, a series of essays, a spoken word night, or something else entirely.

And sitting here six months later without a ‘finished product’, part of me could feel like I haven’t achieved what I set out to do. Yet, one thing this journey has utterly illuminated is how the pressure to be productive, to perform, to meet expectations is actually the voice that stands in the way of my own healing.

It’s a voice that measures success by the number of miles walked, over the depth of presence along the path. It’s a voice that equates worth with how many people you have ‘reached’, instead of honouring a single conversation that creates a bridge between two beings. It’s a voice that was so dominant and deafening that I couldn’t hear the soft animal sound of my soul.

Just as walking a pilgrimage is about trusting your feet and the path before you, this has been a journey of trusting my voice. Noticing all the ways that I silence or censor myself and opening my eyes to how deeply embedded that is in our culture.

(Audre Lorde’s essay ‘Your Silence will Not Protect You’ was a revelatory gift from a fellow Enroller.) The way I have kept myself safe by being ‘good’, but ignoring another voice that wants to be true.

So, three things I now know to be true:

The most miraculous part of the journey is the people you share it with To have walked alongside curious, committed, endlessly creative soul-friends has been the most precious part of all. What a gift to be able to show up to a group week after week, to bear witness to each other’s natural unfurling. To grow in the same soil together, nourishing each other with new perspectives, with laughter and tears, with imagination and possibility. Together we’ve cooked feasts, played ‘Yes, And’, made talismans, danced in the dark, penned poetry, honoured our ancestors, welcomed all the parts of ourselves, discovered joy in life by contemplating death, rewilded to new rhythms and grown through gratitude. We held each other through sun and storm, breakthroughs and breakdowns. My fellow pilgrims have gifted me new eyes to see with and new ways to tread the path. I have been changed by their presence and blessed by their friendship in ways that are beyond words.

The deepest healing lies in letting go of expectations I’ve learned that if you summon the soul, she shows up. And not in a prettily packaged, perfectly planned way.

But in ways that are human and howling, untamed and unexpected.

She showed up for me when I chose to throw out the rule book and write my own. She showed up when I spoke the uncomfortable truth and shone a light on what felt important. She showed up one night when, half way through my workshop entitled ‘Let Your Soul Speak’, I realised that I needed to let go of the plan and to simply surrender to the grief that was seizing my whole body. In letting go, in trusting the group and allowing myself to be held by the ground beneath me, something new and beautiful was born.

The meaning of the word vulnerability comes from ‘wound’. To heal is to air our vulnerability. To let it breathe. And in doing so, for the very threads of our skin to weave together all the more strongly.

The journey is not about the distance or the destination, but deep down you knew that all along.

It was never about reaching the final goal of some grand end-point. It was never about writing a book or producing a podcast - though those could still be wonderful things to do. The journey has been about all the ways I kept showing up even when I felt like I was ready to turn back. Every quiet conversation, every scribbled word in a journal, every time I said ‘yes’ even when my whole body was raging.

‘Small is good. Small is all', the force of nature that is adrienne maree brown reminds us. Sometimes the most powerful and healing ways I can share my voice are small yet potent.

Coaching, facilitation and writing, which is already my work, are ways of sharing my voice that is healing for me and others. My hope is to keep creating spaces where people’s souls feel welcome.

People say, when you finish walking the Camino de Santiago the real pilgrimage begins when you step off the path. I trust that this journey will continue, that I will keep honouring and sharing my voice in ways that are healing. But perhaps I will find a different way to tread. A way to walk lightly on this path, letting the voice of my own soul lovingly guide me on.

Artist: Morgan Harper Nichols

Diana Dobrin Question I came in with: How can investigating urban practices lead to designing better cities?

Question I leave with:

How can I use my passion for cities to encourage informal urban action at a neighbourhood level?

Email: dianaa.dobrin@gmail.com Twitter: @dianaadobrin

Where has your question brought you to?

Half a year ago, I enrolled with an interest in learning more about cities and my place in them. I now leave with a deeper understanding of urban life and a newfound passion for urbanism that I hope to pursue further. My question has carried me through a handful of short experiments, from walks and talks to facilitating my very first workshop and creating a commuting journal, from reading about, thinking and observing the everyday interactions of people in the neighbouring urban space to drafting my own interpretation of what cities represent and introducing others to it.

I started with a fuzzy understanding of my place in cities and along the way, I discovered through my question the role I want to have at the intersection of public and private spheres through placemaking. I discovered an unknown yearning for community and a curiosity for the look and feel of public spaces –

all of which made me appreciate even more the amazing complex organisms that cities are.

Reflection on your learning journey The marathon has not only been a space for developing my interest in cities but has also represented a learning journey for my personal development. The beautiful community I joined on this process has proved an invaluable place for growth, as I learned new things about myself by interacting with and observing the passion in everyone’s journeys. On the way, I got to appreciate creativity, freedom of thought and even expression a lot more and I feel I have allowed myself to rediscover the joys of learning as something I can do for myself rather than a set out process. I feel grateful for every small bit of kindness, wisdom and inspiration I found in the group and hope to continue to carry this creative whim on my future journey.

I hope to develop this concept into a more established platform for promoting urban literacy by using my reections and learning experience around cities as a way to make the subject more accessible for other budding city makers.

What have you created?

Urban Literacy - It is a concept I created that aims to narrow the gap between city enthusiasts and urban change makers by promoting the concept of urban literacy as a way for any urban resident to be able to have a say in their cities.

Coming to this space without any formal education but a curiosity for observing and understanding city life, I feel we often leave cities in the hands of a very few experts although all of us have valid knowledge and opinions we could use to shape cities for the better.

We live too much of our lives in urban spaces of some sort to care so little about what happens to them.

"We ďŹ rst shape our cities, then our cities shape us."

Interested in: Fellow urban enthusiasts and placemakers who want to shape their local areas!

Reuben Christian Question I came in with: How can I get my Dream Rehab workshops into more spaces in order to help young people stepping into the creative industries?

Question I leave with:

How can I best serve myself and then the world, as an artist?

Email: reubenchristian@gmail.com Instagram: @reubenchristian1

Where has your question brought you to?

What have you created?

I’ve created a lot more space inside myself. Space for deeper connections, love, change, learning, unlearning, reflection and unapologetically authentic creativity. Art is the external manifestation of this that has really been energising me, lately. I’ve been writing, working on an overdue music EP, creating experimental comedy videos and drafting edutainment shows. I’m also refining my Dream Rehab workshop offering. I’m basically creating the future that I want and need.

My question has brought me to a place of clearer self understanding; that I’m an artist. This is enabling me to make wiser decisions in the fractals, keeping me on the path towards my North Star. It’s also brought me back to community and further from the perils of capitalism.

Without trying to sound too ‘woo woo’, it’s freeing me. It’s giving me permission to emerge into the next iteration of myself. Mad ting, innit.

“ Make art that allows me to feel joy and teach the wisdom that I’ve learnt.”

Reflection on your learning journey This learning marathon has been the most transformational experience for me since psychotherapy. Which is interesting considering I applied on a half-curious whim, mainly due to the nagging of EY team member Sarah Adefehinti. That nutta.

I’ve learnt all the things. Also that “all the things” is a dope line. I’ve learnt that our self-talk can really affect our emotions. That community can help heal much of our suffering. That men have periods. That time taken to deepen connections is more valuable than we could ever quantify. That talking through our problems reduces its power over us. That systems change takes years, and happens when we focus on the micro. That life, just like the weather, is cyclical, whether we believe it or not. That our best ideas come through play. That we should dig a little deeper to find out who we really are. That our cities have more to offer if we just looked up more often. That poetry could save us.

That accepting death could liberate us. That EROS could guide us. See, all the things.

I’ve left the learning marathon with a timely re-owning of the idea that I am infinite possibility. Woowoo, yea, but whatevs.

My potential to grow and contribute in generative ways has increased ten-fold through this journey, but more specifically by the new friends I have by my side. We’re helping each other get out of our own damn ways. *drops mic*

Interested in: I’m not totally

sure what I’m looking for right now as I’m currently feeling blessed and balanced. But there’s an ongoing curiosity to connect with more music producers to aid my new exploration into Vibesville.

Jessica Spencer-Keyse Question I came in with: How might humanity learn best at the personal, place based and planetary levels?

Question I leave with:

What if we followed the joy?

www.jessicaspencerkeyse.com Email: jspencerkeyse@gmail.com Instagram: @jspencerkeyse Twitter: @jspencerkeyse

Where has your question brought you to?

A sense of reconnection with joy, love and creation. I find myself leaning more deeply into following my intuition and embracing the multiplicity of my nature. I began this journey deeply curious to continue in my relationship with understanding how we might transform learning for systems change.

My previous experience in this space was deeply embedded in the western, scientific paradigms of research processes, yet now I’m practicing embodying emergence, focusing more deeply on our lived experience, as a learning designer, facilitator, pleasure activist and artist.

I’m also alive to questions, as well as loving and living in the we-ness and weaving of a learning community, excited to pursue training to become an Enrol Yourself host. I’m also dancing (literally and metaphorically) with lived leadership, how being encouraged to follow the joy changes yourself, your communities and the planet. What if I followed the joy, and other questions centre myself and ground me in a way I didn’t know possible. This shift feels both scary and liberating.

What have you created?

I feel like WE have created, in the microcosm of our community, new possibilities and ways of being in the world. Love feels central to that.

I sense that we are a practice of radical rebellion in the fractal, interconnected and woven together, dancing with unlearning and learning. We strive to be in right relationship with one another, through our agreements, radical compassionate honesty and the undercurrent guide (adrienne marie brown) infusing our journey. We are living the experience that ‘how you do anything is how you do everything’.

What else has this looked like for me?

I co-created an experience with Lorrianne on sparking connection through poetry on public transport and in public spaces. I deep dived into what transformational learning is, and how might we explore this approach for deeper interconnection. I designed and ran a workshop that supports adults to re-engage with play. I also found myself, completely surprisingly, writing and creating a lot. I emerged into a space where crafting poems, fiction, songs & stories became the norm. I also performed at Special Guest and Fresh Lip with a spoken word piece called “Wednesday Morning Reminders”, part of a series on how to stay humanly connected. I also finally made a first draft of website and released it (as a freelancer this has been on my to-do list for a long time!). As well as co-designing and facilitating learning experiences on poetry, reimagination and emergent strategy!

Reflection on your learning journey The experience for me has been nothing short of transformational.

When I began, my question was designed from a head-led space, informed from a recent research report I’d co-created on learning ecosystems. I'd never had the opportunity before to craft a question for the soul for learning and as I listened to other peoples’ focuses and the possibility of this experience I let that take the lead. Emotionally, I arrived carrying fear. I wanted to be present but didn’t want to have presence. Yet the process and the people created a beautiful container that allowed me to feel brave and safe to explore my relationship to questions and how that could evolve. I felt permission to start showing up as my full embodied self vs. the cerebral mind and drop into my heart and soul, playing in curiosity, chaos and emergence of what feels alive to me. I began following my intuition, art and joy in the deep kindness, space and friendship this group and process catalysed.

Then I travelled in a way I always knew I wanted to and knew was possible. In right relationship, in all the mess and chaos and sorrow and joy and radical compassion.

Moving with others and their questions was what enabled the shift in how I related to my own question.

I allowed feelings of confusion to surface as we reflected on a regular basis. Workshops, buddy sessions and feedback people gave me in Power Up Days and Get Shit Done Sundays, and as friends, was a huge part of that growth.

I shifted my question a lot, firstly to centre around ‘what is transformational learning for interconnection?’ It felt truer and I began to do lots of writing. Though I noticed myself falling into old patterns and realised that when it comes to transformational learning, you’re not doing it unless you’re actually doing it. This led me to travel to a space where I started living it, playing with experiments and attending events and workshops that were embodied and rooted in somatic learning.

I started zooming in on play and joy.

Something that hadn’t always been central in my life, or the communities I’d been part of. Whilst I focused on 'how can I create an adult playgroup?’ as part of the transformational learning focus It became clear that the concept of the ‘adult play group’ was just one part of what I was trying to explore and journey with in the world. Thought this helped me see myself more clearly as a learning experience designer and facilitator, cementing my desire to host an Enrol Yourself learning marathon in the future.

As I neared the end, I jolted into a deep craving for creating alternative learning communities, drawn in by my exploration but in a final moment of emergence I found myself stepping into an unexpected question that seemed to have been guiding me all along: ‘how can you serve the world and our communities as an artist?’. I was ready to realise that I come alive at any opportunity to dance, create, make, dream, draw. Learning Marathons are still so much more than this though. Because of these people, their questions, their everythings, I started to create poetry, spoken word, learnt about the lived practice of holding space, how to make room for grief and honour ritual, how to call soul into the room, how to show up as my authentic self, how to start to trust my voice and share it, how to dismantle systems of oppression in the micro, how deeply radical we need to be in these times,

and how all the tiny, small things matter so much, how to listen to where I belong, what it is to be an edge, what nature trouble is, how the whole world is a stage - you’re already living it, how emergent strategy is everything, the healing power of laughter, my ability to make people giggle, how visions lead to truths, the necessary experience of the erotic, how soup tastes more delicious with you, what a good day looks like, how to dream deeply, what’s it like to be me, that we are multi sensorial creatures and to relish that and that people still love you when you dance down the street endlessly. It’s all possible because of all of you. I couldn’t have travelled further and I couldn’t have travelled closer to home.

“Listen to what is really possible in the moment and create the loving, support you need for yourself to fly.”

Interested in: Opportunities to create/co-create art (song writing, dancing, performance art), future enrol yourself participants who might want to do a learning marathon with me!

Alana Bloom Question I came in with: How can I weave together the different threads of my life into a practice of being that is in service to life?

Question I leave with:

How might I create the world of my longing, through living it everyday?

Email: regeneratingrhythms@gmail.com Instagram: @AlanaBlooms @regeneratingrhythms_ Twitter: @AlanaBloom

“Practise being alive and the rest will come.”

Where has your question brought you to?

I started with my question seeing the LM as an opportunity to find a way to weave all of the different aspects of my life into one offering that could be in service to the world. Through that curiosity I’ve discovered that actually there are many things that bring me joy and pleasure and that they don’t need to be connected to one another, or weaved together, in order to be valuable or of service. That actually the emergence and complexity of my life and my skills is where the beauty and resilience is.

I feel as though this has been the beginning of a lifelong learning/unlearning journey into the many shadows of capitalism and how many of my deep seated beliefs and habits connected to my worth, have been seeded by a system that wants to keep me small.

But now I have discovered what it means to thrive, what it means to truly rebel against the system by living in a place of pleasure, joy, welcoming grief, soul, mystery, community and much more. Through this process I have felt a deep sense of my own cycles and rhythms within the huge cycles that govern life and all living beings on this planet. So my question has brought me to a place where I am choosing to root into something much bigger and profound then where I initially started.

What have you created?

Before Covid19 happened, I was working towards launching a new website detailing my work as a facilitator, as well as offering work based around Regenerating Rhythms, which is still happening, but the focus and priorities shifted to make room for the liminal and emergent space we are in.

Through this journey, I feel as though I have empowered myself as a facilitator and artist through incorporating my practices into the different spaces I hold as I continue to be curious about what it means “to be in service to life.” It welcomes the messiness, the grief, the joy, the sorrow, the anger, the beauty, that helping ourselves and each other to be in the fullness of our living is a way to be in service to life.

Refining my passion and skills has brought new depth to my work by creating spaces to dive in and research the topic of regeneration by hosting regular communal breathing space to discuss, explore and co-create more understanding around the rhythms of life that can support us to regenerate.

I feel as though through these six months I’ve begun to develop the foundations of a practice to carry me through life that centers itself on

building the world of my longing through living in alignment with my values and embodying what I want to see on a macro scale through living it in the micro. How can the ways I choose to show up be part of creating a more just world.

Reflection on your learning journey: With my learning journey, I feel as though I have travelled through worlds, universes, time, shadows, stars. It’s been such a voyage. All of the threads are being woven into the tapestry of my life. It’s so beautiful, so abundant and complex.The people I have shared this journey with have influenced me and revealed new aspects of both myself and my question. The solidarity and depth with which we have been able to discover through our shared learning has been integral to welcoming emergence, adaptability and resilience as integral to my practice.

I feel that this experience is like a modern day rite of passage, or initiation. Through the highs and lows I’ve discovered new things about myself, my capacity and my resilience.

I feel like being part of this group has allowed me to begin the journey of living in the world of my longing now.

It’s already happening, with a bunch of incredible humans around me.

In some ways I have more threads now than when I started, more possible avenues to explore and continue weaving, stories of my new friends and peers, the way we have each carried our questions, the role of poetry in our time together, the presence of grief, of unlearning, of looking at things through new eyes, to welcoming pleasure and play, to reconnecting with the profundity of nature. There have been so many overlaps that I can’t say what is mine any longer, it’s innately interconnected as a journey and experience.

Interested in: Opportunities to speak, teach and embody cyclical wisdom/nature patterns.

Meera Rajan Question I came in with:

How might we change the way we live by talking about and accepting death?

Question I leave with:

How can death bring life into focus?

Email: themeera@gmail.com Twitter: @madebymeera

Background on learning question During 2017 and 2018 I needed to question my mortality 4 times (4 because I like to be thorough). During those times I gained the following insights: Firstly, going through the process of preparing for death really changed my perspective on life for the better. Secondly, most reading material on death preparation is grim!

Why is everything so ugly, scary, medicalised,? Why so many skulls?

Why is everything so black and why do we only assume those preparing should be very ill or older?

What I set out to do: Talk to people and their relationship to death. Ask can death be used as a tool to gain focus on life?

Reflection on your learning journey My Process: In my design mind I set out to solve problems. I had plans, processes and iterations, but much of

“Let’s talk openly, honestly and constructively… we all need that from death.”

the journey was exploration and being with the members of the Learning Marathon. Living my question as human connection was the most important aspect in my life and it says much about how I want to move through it. My journey allowed me to reach out to strangers (experts in the field of death and dying) and friends to talk explore my question together. Each conversation was a journey in itself as you really get to know someone when the subject of death comes up! I made this exploration the key part of my project.

What have you created?

A short guide to some stuff about death. Sounds ridiculous, but that’s because I am. Essentially the key takeaways from my research:

Get to the shit that matters When touched with the knowledge of death people pivoted their lives and tried to reach out for more meaning.

Meaningful didn’t manifest itself in goals or a ‘bucket list’, but were simple, humble and creative moments to cherish. This disruptive yet transformative process led to ‘cutting to the shit that matters’, but can you get to the shit that matters without having a brush with death? How can we get to the shit that matters so we will not face regret when it comes to facing death? What shits would you give?

A social and shared experience How will you be remembered and what did you create as your legacy?

People also talked about what wouldn’t matter anymore to them.

They mentioned possessions and also organs - hoping that by leaving these behind others would benefit.

Death doesn’t happen in a vacuum and others (unless in very sad cases) will be impacted.

How might we acknowledge death now to think about what memories we want to leave behind for others to remember us by?

Make space to listen We don’t talk about death enough so when it comes down to needing to share our wishes with those close to us, it’s hard to know where to start.

Before my research I thought one of the main problems for people to be open about talking about death was needing to find the right words, but with more exploration the unease seemed to originate from the fear of how the words would be received.

How might we create the right space to hear and support others so they are able to speak?

See it all differently New found focus can make you see the world around you very differently. This is summed up by Dennis Potter’s interview on March 15 1994, when he knew he was soon to die from cancer “... I see it is the whitest, frothiest, blossomest blossom that there ever could be...Things are both more trivial than they ever were, and more important than they ever were, and the difference between the trivial and the important doesn't seem to matter. But the nowness of everything is absolutely wondrous…” How might we acknowledge death to recognise the impermanence to celebrate the present?

What this project is: This project is a personal exploration of the topic of death in Western Society. I wanted to talk to others about their views, whether it be those who work with the dying, those who have been touched by death or those who haven’t. Through a series of interviews, workshops and a lot of reading, I have come away with a set of recurring themes.

The themes merge as well as contradict at times, but I guess that’s because that’s what makes them human. I wanted to find a way to share them with you here.

What this is not:

It Doesn’t need to be so ugly Why is death portrayed so grim in western society? The way we deliver our message is important especially if we want people to talk about death more. Can we communicate death beautifully, well crafted and thoughtful? How might we find the right tools to communicate death so it is easier to digest?

This is not a scientific research study. This is not an exhaustive list.

This is not about grief, but about your life and your death. Not answers, if anything it poses more questions - helpful? No? too bad.

Death means something different to many people depending on your culture, experience and your view on life. I respect those and if there is something huge that I have missed out, then let’s talk openly, honestly and constructively, because we all need that from death.

What are you looking for now?

Opportunities to research and design for difficult subjects and conversations.

Braden Lake Question I came in with: What do the movements for queer liberation and climate justice have to teach each other about the role of compassion?

Question I leave with:

How can I create nature-trouble?

Email: braden.lake@gmail.com Instagram: @bradenbrooke

Where has your question brought you to?

My original question tried really hard.

It searched for an intersection of two paths - without clarity on where that intersection might be, or whether it would bring meaning. I took different threads of myself that felt alive, and I tied them together in an unwieldy sentence, that I hoped would lead me somewhere.

In searching, I got lost in my question, venturing deep into the worlds of queer ecology and emergence and biomimicry and queer theory. I wandered between seemingly disparate worlds of thought, and I began to see how I looped back on myself. I learned that the paths are not distinct, but instead are a single path - queerness and nature signposted by non-essentialism, deviation, and wildness.

My question, now evolved, brings a queer lens to my relationship to the natural world, and likewise invites an ecosystemic understanding of queerness (“greening queer politics and queering green politics,” as a queer ecologist might say). It feels easy and alive. My question has guided me to stop thinking so hard, and start noticing instead. As I live into the question, false binaries fall away. I’m able to interrogate, or trouble, the associations our society

foists upon the natural world - as pure, moral, simple, separate - and replace that essentialism with nature’s (and our) wild emergence and contradictions.

What have you created?

I’ve invited my fellow journey-ers to re-wild ourselves - to track the ways in which we lop off our unruly bits and manicure ourselves, and imagine how we might reintegrate the “glorious mess.”

I’ve sharpened my attention both outward and inward - to notice moments when I take the shortcut of assumption to a truncated truth, and also to notice the way a tree meets the sky.

I’ve fed my sense of wonder, nurturing it as it grows from a small seed towards becoming (as adrienne maree brown says) my default state.

I’ve created a catalogue of the trees that are my neighbors, and now my friends, investing in my sense of place as a way towards a deeper knowing. I name my new friends, to put language to the intimacy I feel and honour them as teachers who both precede and will outlast me.

I’ve created a new relationship with the natural world, as I notice the thin film that divides me from it dissolve.

Reflections on your Learning Journey The experience has been a homecoming, or rather a homemaking in a literal sense. The learning marathon, and my cohort, scared the shit out of me. I began my learning journey as a newcomer in this country, unmoored and unconnected.

The journey provided the conditions for me to grow roots and find my place in this messy space and time. The exploration of my question has been shaped by the questions of my peers, as I’ve been invited to bring play into my life, to unlearn what doesn’t serve me, to imagine a perfect day, to trust my voice.

Through this group, I found an access point to poetry, which always seemed like a precious thing not meant for me, and in it, I found answers to unnamed questions. We leaned into questions together, in our living rooms and parks and phone calls and cafes. And in such fertile ground, even while scared shitless, it became possible to build a new life.

Lorrianne Clarke Question I came in with: What can I do to make more room for connection, empathy, and therapeutic experience around me?

Question I leave with:

How can I create and share in a way that is sustainable and nourishing for both me and others?

Email: lorrianne.clarke@gmail.com

Where has your question brought you?

My question led me through many adventures. I didn’t really understand what I wanted when I embarked on this journey, except that I’d been stuck in contraction, that I was ready for some expansion, but needed some support.

I arrived with a sense of needing to ‘do something’ but not sure what, the pressure was paralysing. I had decided that I would likely study therapy, but wanted to take some time to explore some other avenues of development for myself before plunging in. Having only studied to 1st year college level, and then having taken some unusual paths in my life afterwards, I wondered if maybe there were some unusual intersections of my experience worth exploring.

I’ve learnt to explore what brings me alive, to understand my skills and marry them with my passions, and trust that in pursuing what feels alive for me, it will be nourishing to share.

I’ve learnt to give myself permission, to allow myself to run a business and make money, and have time off!

I know now that my question will never have a direct answer, that it will be ever emerging, evolving responsively, and that the juicy bit will be in continuing the journey.

What have you created?

During my EY journey I explored a variety of pathways inspired by my question. I adventured onto London’s transport system with one of my cohort and got the public interacting and writing poetry. I started painting and writing again, and also started performing again. I got involved in activism around championing rights for sex workers, and played a part in a public art experiment to raise awareness. I started creating my own artistic emotional support resources project around grief and loss, Goodness Grief.

I developed some workshops on sexuality, kink and exploring intimacy which I now share through Pinky Promise, and have begun the first few recordings on a podcast around sex and intimacy education. And finally, I kickstarted my own business plan and got myself online, up and running!

Some of these projects are well on their way, some still evolving with collaboration and development, and some of them may be left behind.

What I am most proud of is that with a little support from my cohort and community, I have rediscovered the creative resource inside of me, and allowed myself to experiment with creating things that are meaningful to me, playfully, and sustainably.

Enrol Yourself has been an adventure and a life changer.

It’s given me the space to explore and question my ideas in a way I wouldn’t have thought of or expected.

Before Enrol Yourself I was already working on ideas and side projects but the thing that I didn’t realise was missing was people.

“Continue to learn more about and champion the subjects that stir your passion, talk openly and candidly about them, be playful with your approach, and the spaces that nourish you and others will open.”

Reflections on your learning journey?

I came to the Enrol Yourself journey after having made it through some intense emotional upheavals and huge changes in my own life. I had all this motivation to re-engage with the world, but I wasn’t sure where I wanted to direct it, and was feeling a little lost. Joining EY was a promise to myself to start paying attention to who I had become, and to learn how to share and champion my passions and insights. I had imagined that joining EY would give me a level of accountability and reflection, but I never foresaw how deeply the journey would move me.

With their insight, I have learnt to value the ideas I have, started to crystallise my passions, learnt many practical supports for myself, and perhaps most importantly, learnt how to seek and ask for the help I need. We all need each other.

The incredible, insightful, compassionate and creative people I met in EY supported me to explore my confidence, fuel my ideas, and loosen the self-limiting beliefs that stopped me from pursuing what I want to do.

The kind, curious and honest culture that we intentionally developed together became a welcome space for exploration and the vulnerability needed to explore.

Being in such a supportive group helped me reframe myself from being an outsider to society, to acknowledging the unique journey my life has been, and recognising the wisdoms that I had gleaned from my experience, and how sharing them may help others expand.

What are you looking for now?

Just to deepen my own learnings, mentors in my own specific field, or for facilitation, therapists to speak with about studying therapies, shorter courses in facilitation, therapies, sexual education, more spaces to create sharing circles around sexuality!

Sophie Howarth Question I came in with: How can I read, write, learn and share more poetry for my own and other's well being?

Question I leave with:

How can I establish a regular studio practice?

Where has your question brought you?

It's been a beautiful, challenging and uplifting journey but the learnings and rewards have been quite different to what I might have anticipated. It has not been a time of visible productivity.

It has been a journey from darkness into light. Holding my learning question has made me feel more intentional about the role of poetry in supporting my wellbeing: spiritual sustenance during dark nights of the soul, a ball of string that helped me ďŹ nd my way out of the labyrinth of depression, a means of articulating hopes and dreams for the future.

What have you created?

It wasn't a creating season for me and I didn't feel inclined to force things. It was a time of going slow, recovering strength and allowing myself to be surprised, opened and heartened by community.

Reections on your learning journey: I feel grateful for the role poetry played in strengthening our learning community, and ever more sure of its healing and connecting powers. I loved leading a workshop inspired by Audre Lorde's claim that poetry is not a luxury, and seeing so many people moved by the power of language used with audacity, skill and economy.

Other people's learning questions, and sources of inspiration intertwined more and more closely with mine as the months went on, so that although my focus remained on poetry and wellbeing, my inquiry

soon embraced questions of belonging, identity, sexuality and seasonality. In adrienne maree brown, many of us found a mentor who could gather us all together in a shared commitment to love and liberate.

Chloe Bernard-Grahame Question I came in with: How can I belong and contribute to my local area from inside and outside its biggest institution?

Question I leave with:

What could I liberate if I stopped yearning to belong?

Twitter: @chloe_fbg Email: cfgrahame@gmail.com

Where has your question brought you?

I started my learning marathon clear minded. I was beginning a new job at my local council, living in a new home, newly married. My learning marathon would give me the focus, community and structure I needed to move forwards.

Only shortly after I started the learning marathon I froze. After a year of action, it was a shock to the system. And with the freezing came the questions: Did I really want to belong or was I running from my feeling of not belonging?

Is contributing just a way of justifying my right to be here?

Why am I indulging in these questions given the work that needs doing out there?

I let these questions rise and spent time with them, exploring my feelings of belonging and unbelonging. They led me to learn about my family and the journeys that brought me here.

From Russia, Ukraine, Lithuania, Los Angeles, Manchester and Essex to North-West London, and for the past five years various parts of South-East London, always passing on a rich Jewish heritage and experience.

The process helped me understand what I was yearning for -

groundedness, stability, meaning and connection. Things I realised with privilege had been right in front of me this whole time - my husband, family, special friends. These are my roots and foundations. Belonging and contribution to the people and places around me would grow from these.

What have you created?

My journey with my question makes me think of Rilke, who has inspired many others in this group: “Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves, like locked rooms and like books that are now written in a very foreign tongue... Live the questions now.”

Over these past months, I have created space for myself in unexpected ways. I have created a question that has travelled alongside me and across many aspects of my life.

Whilst the coronavirus crisis (and before then procrastination) prevented me from developing a final idea, it also drew me nearer to my question. Over this period, I have felt connected to colleagues and to many local people who are themselves figuring out how they can contribute at this difficult time, and within their own means.

Creating a new volunteer service for the borough and a support offer for people no longer able to leave their homes to buy food, brought me to the edge of my role as a citizen and professional. My question helped me navigate this edge and recognise it as a place of creativity as well as a place of challenge.

Reections on your learning journey: The group was an important place for me to explore feelings of belonging and unbelonging. I feel grateful to everyone who journeyed alongside me from whom I have learnt so much.

Alana, thank you for my heightened awareness of cyclical living. The days when I’m in Summer, the days in Autumn. Seeing the seasons change outside has been a blessing.

Braden, everytime you speak I want to hear more. I felt so enveloped by your question and captivated by its journey.

Diana, thank you for the gift of seeing the spaces in between, it has inspired a number of wonderful city walks.

Emma, you bring an abundance of care, kindness and wisdom through your words, I feel honoured to be connected to you and to learn from you.

your deep intuition into what people need.

Lorrianne, my hanged man from your workshop sits in my room and marks the start of something new.

It carries with it a little touch of your magic and wisdom.

Meera, your calm, comforting presence always puts me at ease and I loved watching your design process unfold.

Reuben, your improvisation workshop was so enjoyable and challenging in a good way. Such a good lesson in jumping in and giving it a go.

Sophie, you and your session helped me connect back to poetry, and remind me how much I loved reading and writing it.

Vanessa, I’ve been trying to spot habits and patterns, and explore my own unlearning. It was so powerful and moving to hear how you brought your question inwards before looking outwards again.

Gavin, I felt inspired by your thirst for ideas, always looking to be involved in ways to improve society and to learn more about yourself.

Jess, thank you for bringing such infectious joy and playfulness and for

I am so grateful for all I have shared, learned and experienced with you all. Thank you.

“Belonging is your safe space, and you don’t need to look far to find it. There’s something to learn from unbelonging too.”

A little about being part of a learning marathon during a pandemic: Holding the end of this learning process during the COVID19 pandemic has been a learning in itself. It has required such immense resilience, adaptability and support between us as a group. It feels important to share some of the learning that emerged through this.

As a group we decided to not do a showcase event presenting our work, experiences, learning and growing together to the outside world. It was clear that sheltering in place needed us to slow down and not be productive and produce something for the sake of it. We all found a way to live our questions through this time.

What also emerged is an incredible book group around Emergent Strategy which we have continued to show up for and learn to live.

Our hope is that this booklet captures something of the depth that many of us have experienced through this journey.

"Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given to you because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now.

Perhaps you will then gradually, without noticing it, live along some distant day into the answer.� Rainer Maria Rilke

Over six months ago a dozen people planted a dozen seeds, in the form of ‘learning questions’ such as ‘What do the movements for queer liberation and climate justice have to teach each other about the role of compassion?’ and ‘How can I share my voice in a way that is healing for me and others?’

Since then we’ve been growing these seeds alongside one another, into projects, ventures, meetups, podcasts, toolkits, artworks, ways of being and more. Now the Learning Marathon is drawing to a close, but a new chapter is just starting to unfurl.

Enrol Yourself is an award-winning social enterprise redesigning lifelong learning by harnessing the power of peer groups to multiply individual and collective development.

The Learning Marathon is a 6 month peer-led learning accelerator designed to integrate into life alongside work.

enrolyourself.com Email: hello@enrolyourself.com Blog: medium.com/enrol-yourself Twitter: @EnrolYourself Instagram:: @enrol_yourself