5 minute read
THE DO’S AND DON’TS
THETHE DO’SDO’S ANDAND DON’TSDON’TS FORFOR FAMILIESFAMILIES ANDAND ACQUAINTANCESACQUAINTANCES OFOF INDIVIDUALSINDIVIDUALS WITHWITH ANAN EATINGEATING DISORDER.DISORDER.
T H E D O ' S
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DO talk to your person about how they are feeling, listen to what they have to say, and understand what they need.
People in recovery need to have a strong support system and a group of people they can feel comfortable around. They may not want to talk about it at all, but they must know they have someone to talk to if they want to.
DO some research on information about eating disorders.
Having a better understanding of some of the science and behaviors behind eating disorders can help you be a support person. There are so many misconceptions and false information about eating disorders that are shown on social media, so doing proper research plays a key role in
DO ask your person how you can best help them.
It is essential that you check in with them and let them know you support them. There may be times when they don’t necessarily know what they need at that moment, so remember to be patient and understand. Talking to them can be helpful so that you can learn the skills to support them properly.
DO recognize that recovery is a journey, not an overnight process.
It can be difficult to realize that eating disorders are not simply cured. It can take a long time which can cause frustration. It is not an easy path but standing by them and not giving up as a member of the support team is the best thing you can do.
DO make sure you are taking care of yourself!
Although being a support person is an important role, you need to make sure that you are taking care of yourself too! Self-care is NOT selfish!
T H E D O N T ' S
Here are some of the things I wish people did not say, as well as some appropriate ways to support your partner or person who may be struggling.
DON’T tell someone with an eating disorder to “Just eat” or ask them why they “don’t eat. ”
For many individuals with eating disorders that often involve restrictive habits, these types of questions or statements can potentially be quite triggering and or toxic. Eating Disorders are not just about the food considering most of the time; they are often formed around different complexities and internalized issues. Eating Disorders are mental illnesses and should be recognized as such.
DON’T ask someone who is struggling with a mental illness if they have taken their meds yet or have seen their therapist this week.
As a person in recovery, this is a question I have been asked many times and something I know the majority of people I know personally with similar struggles have been asked. This type of question can make a person feel as if they are genuinely broken or if something is wrong with them. It's like asking someone up front why they aren’t “normal” or what's wrong with you. We all have struggles in life. Sometimes they come in different forms, which we need to respect when it comes to recovery.
DON’T say, “Just copy the way that I eat. ”
Generally speaking, a misconception has been formed that if you follow the same diet as someone and have the same exercise plan, you will look exactly like them. This is NOT true. If every person on the planet had the same diet and completed the same exercise routine, we would all still look different, considering every body is unique in its own way. We all metabolize foods at different rates and need certain things and specific plans that fit those needs. We all come in different shapes and heights, and sizes, and it is impossible to get that same body type naturally. Just because what you do suits your needs doesn't necessarily mean it will be suitable for another person.
T H E D O N T ' S
DON’T say, “You eat like crap. ”
This is something that I have been told constantly and is by far one of the most harmful things I have been told. Now I understand it may not seem like a harmful statement but in reality, when someone is trying to recover from an eating disorder, what matters most is that they are working to improve themselves. They are trying to recover rather than shame them for the work that they have done or what they are doing. It is okay if you have dessert. It is okay to have pizza or carbs or anything, especially in moderation, because food is supposed to be something we enjoy. Not only do we need it to live, but it can also be a great part of life. Nourishing your body is not crap!
DON’T tell someone that they are selfish because of their eating disorder.
No one should feel ashamed for having to ask for help or for needing support again. Everyone has struggled in life. What is important is that we surround ourselves with people who will help us and want to do so; telling someone they are selfish, or lying isn't beneficial to anyone. It isn't fair to compare one person struggle with an eating disorder to another's. No one should fear reaching out for help or feel that they will be ashamed for doing so.
DON’T say to someone that they don't have an eating disorder.
Unless you are a medical professional or treat this individual, it is not someone else's job to tell someone what they do or don't have. People deserve to feel validated, and telling someone that they don't have a problem is not something that will benefit you or that person.
