Navigating Christmas Gatherings

Navigating Christmas Gatherings: A Guide to Enjoying Yourself Without Anxiety, Stress or Guilt

W W W . T H I S P A G E O N H E A L T H . C O M

The holiday season is meant for fun, self-indulgence, and rekindling ties with those we hold dear.

However, it's not uncommon for stress, anxiety, and guilt to unexpectedly turn up and dampen the merry mood.

That's when having a game plan and setting clear boundaries can make all the difference.

With the right strategies, you can revel in the company of family, friends, and colleagues, all while keeping any pangs of anxiety or regret at bay.

Often, the worry is tied to navigating the buffet and bar—yet the heart of these festive gatherings isn't about self-denial. It's about choosing wisely so you can enjoy the season's delights without feeling guilty afterwards.

By empowering yourself to make mindful choices, you enhance your enjoyment of the moment and keep post-party stress to a minimum.

Anxiety can start to bubble up even before you step out the door, as you ponder the what-ifs.

But armed with a toolkit of tactics, you can confidently handle whatever comes your way, both in the heat of the moment and in the lead-up to events.

This guide isn't about being a ‘bah humbug’ or a ‘Scrooge’; it's about savouring and enjoying the celebrations without the side of guilt, stress, or worry.

You'll find a variety of strategies here to gracefully glide through a range of social situations.

NAVIGATING CHRISTMAS GATHERINGS: A GUIDE TO ENJOYMENT WITHOUT GUILT

Enjoying Christmas Gatherings Without Anxiety, Guilt or Stress

01

Setting Personal Boundaries

Setting Boundaries: This is an essential part of personal growth and maintaining healthy relationships, yet it's often one of the most challenging habits to develop.

Many of us struggle with establishing limits with friends or family members because it requires stepping out of our comfort zones. The discomfort, nerves, and the fear of offending others can make us hesitate.

It's that inner voice worrying about reactions or being perceived as selfish that often holds us back. Yet, setting boundaries is far from selfish, and can be considered a form of self-respect.

Embracing the practice of setting boundaries can help reduce stress, improve mental health, and ensure that our relationships are mutually respectful and caring. It's about knowing and recognizing that it's okay to prioritize your needs, feelings, and comfort.

But, like any new skill, setting boundaries takes practice.

It's normal to feel shaky at first, but with time, asserting your limits becomes easier, and each successful attempt builds your confidence. As you grow more accustomed to expressing your boundaries, you'll likely find a sense of empowerment and strength that you didn't know you had.

This journey towards boundary-setting isn't just about saying 'no' to others; it's about saying 'yes' to a healthier, more balanced life.

(If you struggle with setting boundaries, I recommend the book: Set Boundaries, Find Peace: A Guide to Reclaiming Yourself. Author: Nedra Glover Tawwab) Mindful Choices: Before attending an event, reflect on what will make you feel your best. This could be about savouring your favourite dishes, enjoying a special drink, or simply being present in the moment without overthinking food or drinks.

Communicate: Communication is key, and if it’s possible, share with your close friends or family how you aim to enjoy the gathering mindfully. This isn't about setting restrictions but rather embracing the experiences. They can support you in this mindset and might even find inspiration in your approach.

NAVIGATING CHRISTMAS GATHERINGS: A GUIDE TO ENJOYMENT WITHOUT GUILT

02

Navigating Family Gatherings

Starting on a journey towards better health is a commendable and often deeply personal decision. If you've recently started on a weight loss journey, embraced healthier eating habits, or chosen to cut back on alcohol, the holiday season can present a particular challenge.

Family gatherings, rich with tradition and many temptations, can feel like a true test. But remember, this journey is yours, and it's okay to celebrate differently than you have in the past.

It's about finding a balance that honours both your health goals and the festive spirit of the season. Here’s how to navigate the well-meaning offers of second helpings and toasts, ensuring that you can take part in the festivities without sidelining your progress.

Food Choices: When possible, choose healthier options first, like salads, veggies, and lean proteins. Once you've filled up on these, then indulge in smaller portions of richer dishes.

Alcohol Moderation: Consider alternating between alcoholic and non-alcoholic drinks. This not only limits alcohol consumption but also keeps you hydrated, and the next day won’t be a ‘write off’.

Be Ready with Responses: If someone insists you have another serving or drink, try responses like, "Thank you, I might have some later," or "I'm pacing myself tonight."

NAVIGATING CHRISTMAS GATHERINGS: A GUIDE TO ENJOYMENT WITHOUT GUILT

03

Managing Friend's Social Events & Christmas Parties

Let's face it, friends Christmas gatherings are like the ultimate test of willpower for any new health kick. You've decided to eat cleaner or cut back on the eggnog, and suddenly, you're faced with a table that's groaning under the weight of every delicious calorie known to mankind. Fear not!

You can still navigate this in your favour. Here's your game plan…

Eat Beforehand: Consider having a light, healthy meal before joining your friends. This often helps reduce the temptation of overindulging.

Embrace the Moment: Rather than feeling overwhelmed by the abundance of food and drink options, take a deep breath and select what feels right for you at that moment.

Socialise Away from the Bar or Buffet Table: Have conversations away from the buffet or snack table.

You're less inclined to snack when you're wrapped up in tales of your friends latest travel escapade or debating the newest binge-worthy series.

04

Dealing with the Fear of Offending Someone

We've all been there… you're at a friend's place for dinner or a small get-together, and they pass around dishes or drinks that you're trying to avoid. You start to sweat, not because of the food, but because you're scared of hurting their feelings.

It's tough because, on one hand, you really want to stick to your health goals, but on the other, you don't want to seem dismissive of their efforts or hospitality.

Finding the right words to say 'no thanks' without causing any upset can feel like you're navigating a minefield with a blindfold on. But there's a way to stay true to your choices while keeping the peace and ensuring everyone, including you, has a good time. Let’s break down how to handle these moments with tact and kindness…

NAVIGATING CHRISTMAS GATHERINGS: A GUIDE TO ENJOYMENT WITHOUT GUILT

Ofer Genuine Compliments: If someone has cooked a dish, especially for the gathering, that you would rather avoid because you know it won’t agree with you, compliment them on how amazing it looks. This can be a way to acknowledge their effort without necessarily consuming a large portion or having any at all.

Honesty with Tact: It's okay to decline politely. A simple "It looks delicious, but I'm quite full right now" can work wonders.

Change the Subject Gracefully: If you sense persistence from your friends, redirect the conversation to a different topic. For instance, "I can't fit another bite, but I'd love to hear more about your trip to Spain!"

Plan Ahead with the Host: If you're close to the host, chat with them beforehand about your healthgoals, dietary needs etc. This can prevent any awkward moments and shows respect for their planning. Moreover, it allows the host to feel involved and supportive, and they’ll have your back on the day/night.

Offer to Help Out: Sometimes, keeping youself busy helps avoid unnecessary snacking and drinking. Offer to help serve, clear up, or even pour drinks for others. It keeps you engaged and reduces the focus on eating/drinking.

05

Scenario Considerations

Scenario 1: Your aunt has made her famous Christmas pudding, and you're trying to avoid too many sugary desserts.

Scenario 2: Your friends pour another round of drinks, and you've reached your limit.

Plan A: Take a small portion, savour each bite, and compliment her on how delicious it is.

Plan A: Accept the drink but sip on it slowly throughout the night.

Plan B: Politely decline but ask if you can take a slice home for later (you don't necessarily have to eat it, but it can avoid any immediate discomfort or awkwardness).

Plan B: Politely decline, mentioning you're pacing yourself, and ask for a nonalcoholic alternative.

NAVIGATING CHRISTMAS GATHERINGS: A GUIDE TO ENJOYMENT WITHOUT GUILT

06

Strategies for the Relentless Friend or Family Member

We all have that one family member or friend who, despite our best efforts, won't take "no" for an answer. Whether it's Aunt Sally insisting you have a third helping of her lasagna or your best friend pouring you another drink, navigating these situations can be tricky.

Here are some strategies, along with a dash of humour, to help you maintain your boundaries without causing a rift.

The Gentle Reminder Sometimes, people just need to hear a firm "no" more than once. If someone is insistent, repeat your “no” using different phrasing.

Scenario: Uncle Bob keeps urging you to try his homemade moonshine that’ll knock your head off.

Plan A: "Thanks, Uncle Bob, but I'm good for now."

Plan B: "I truly appreciate the offer, and it's tempting, but I've found that sticking to one type of drink helps me enjoy the evening more, and I feel better the next day. Thanks for understanding, though." The “thanks for understanding though” is a slightly (polite) passive aggressive response and usually does the trick!

The Diversion Technique Turn their attention to something else. Ask a question or bring up a topic you know they love to talk about. And don’t forget that everyone’s favourite topic to talk about is themselves, so keep this one in reserve!

Scenario: Your cousin keeps pushing you to eat more cake.

Plan A: "That cake does look amazing! How did you make the frosting?"

Plan B: "Speaking of sweets, did you hear about that new dessert cafe downtown?"

NAVIGATING CHRISTMAS GATHERINGS: A GUIDE TO ENJOYMENT WITHOUT GUILT

“I’ll Try it Later" Promise Assure them you'll try it later, even if you don't intend to. This can often appease the persistent pushy friend/relative/coworker for the time being.

Scenario: Your friend wants you to join in on another round of drinks.

Plan A: "I'll join the next one; just need a little break for now."

Plan B: "Let me finish this one first; it's a slow-sipping kind of night."

Use a “Pretend” Reason This might feel a little dishonest, but sometimes, a little white lie or a fib can be the easiest way to navigate a situation. They leave you with no choice sometimes!

Scenario: Your sister keeps insisting you stay for one more hour.

Plan A: "I wish I could, but I have an early start tomorrow."

Plan B: "I'd love to, but I promised my friend who’s having a tough time that I'd call them tonight."

NAVIGATING CHRISTMAS GATHERINGS: A GUIDE TO ENJOYMENT WITHOUT GUILT

07

Let’s Add a Little Humour to ease Your Stress Levels

Could this be the year for some cheeky responses you've probably thought of but never had the nerve to voice out loud? Maybe it’s time to offer a witty comeback…

SCENARIO

WITTY RESPONSE

Grandma keeps urging you to eat more because you're "too skinny."

"Well, Grandma, I've been saving space for your legendary ( their famous/favourite dessert to make]. Can't miss out on that now, can I!"

A friend insists that "one more drink won't hurt."

"You're right; it's the karaoke singing that might be fatal after ‘one more drink’!"

A friend probes you, "No red wine? That's unlike you. Everything okay?"

"Just exploring a world beyond reds, friend. Do you have any white or rosé recommendations?"

A friend comments, "What's up with you tonight? You're not drinking, are you pregnant?"

"Just exploring a world beyond reds, friend. Do you have any white or rosé recommendations?"

A colleague comments, "Skipping the office party booze? Is there a baby on board?"

No baby, just onboard with staying sharp for our early meeting tomorrow. You know how I love those 8 a.m. presentations!"

I encourage you to write your own “witty” responses. The more you practice, the better you’ll get and you’ll be ready with all the ‘come back’ answers at every event. It’s a fun, playful and easy-going strategy to handle those dreaded comments.

Standing your ground doesn't mean you have to be confrontational. With a mix of tact, diversion, and maybe even a sprinkle of humour, you can set and maintain your boundaries so you can enjoy the festivities.

Remember, it's all in good fun, and the holiday season is about cherishing moments with loved ones—even the persistently pushy ones!

Happy Holidays!

NAVIGATING CHRISTMAS GATHERINGS: A GUIDE TO ENJOYMENT WITHOUT GUILT