2 minute read
Voices Heard eZine Spring|Summer 2024
Allyou gotta do is reach out and grab it... I hear the words. I feel the words. A reminder of my own power.
When did I lose it? My Power.
I know all this. I always have.
Deep inside that little girl never lost that knowing — that truly she could do anything she put her mind to.
It’s that sixteen-year-old who lost her power It seemed to disappear that morning when she first dissociated.
She really didn’t even notice it at first.
No
That’s not really it.
That little girl — her cheerleader kept her going then.
Or was it the 5 year old when he took her in the bedroom.
No, that’s not it either.
That little girl — her cheerleader kept her going then too.
So, then, when was it? Why? How?
Hmm…
Maybe she never really lost it.
It just came and went. Waxed and waned like the moon.
She was lucky She had that little 2, 3, 4, 5-year-old.The cheerleader who always poked her when the power dissipated.
But it did deplete from time to time.
Sometimes longer than others.
The tiredness would just take over.
The “I can’t do it anymore” would show up. Take over.
The “I’m just not good enough” would creep in.
And then... Poke. Poke. Poke.
She would hear the little cheerleaders
Sure you can...
Remember when you did this... Said that...
Remember how you...
Oh, yeah.
Of course you can.
Just get back up and try again.
Suddenly that tiredness just went away.
Maybe, I’d had a good night’s sleep.
Maybe something good happened and I’d remember.
Maybe something or someone made me laugh.
Poke. Poke. Poke.
I’d feel like myself again.
And, move onward.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Claire O’Leary is founder of The Empowered Voice (Traveling Art Exhibit & Symposium) and Voices Heard, the interactive e-Zine that empowers survivors to shatter the silence of their sexual abuse which helps them heal and help others heal through sharing their stories.
She lives in Donnelly, Idaho with her husband, and enjoys being a mother and grandmother. Claire’s a CSA (incest) survivor, an avid reader, meditates and dances her heart out any time she can.
She’s an advocate, speaker, and mentor.
