This tool comes in handy in interactions with many people in life. When you are around someone, ask yourself, “How do I feel?” and “What do I need?” Then ask yourself, “How do they feel?” and “What do they need?” If either one of these two cycles shuts down, intimacy stops. We merge with them and lose ourselves or we distance from them and lose the connection. As you play with this tool, notice that you can do your part to create a moment of intimacy, even if another person does not. You are going through your day and you see a friend. You check in with yourself and ground yourself in your own feelings and needs. Then you open the emotional pipeline by thinking about how they might be feeling and what they might need. You can’t see into their brain, but you can give it a good guess. We all have mirror neurons that read the emotional state of other people. Imagine you open the emotional pipeline and feel warmth toward them, and awareness of them on an emotional level. You say a few things and they are rude to you. Or they are distracted and don’t open their emotional pipeline.
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