Recovering From Infidelity-3 Obstacles Holding You Back From Healing

Recovering From Infidelity 3 Obstacles Holding You Back From Healing

written by: Coleta Stewart http://www.EmotionalAffairAdvice.com

Recovering From Infidelity - 3 Obstacles Holding You Back From Healing

Recovering From Infidelity - 3 Obstacles Holding You Back From Healing When you are in the process of recovering from infidelity, there are many seemingly insurmountable hurdles to overcome. The innocent partner has to learn how to deal with and manage the onslaught of negative feelings and emotions while the cheater has to come to grips with his guilt and shame. The following are three obstacles that you can expect to run into.

Communication - inability to talk about the affair details Struggling to communicate with your cheating spouse after an affair can be very frustrating.

Understandably, feelings and emotions are raw and can get in the way of meaningful conversations. One of the difficulties of recovering from infidelity is talking about the infidelity itself. As the injured spouse, you may feel that knowing some of the details or all of it will put an end to your wondering and guessing and help you to recover. But your spouse may resist, preferring to put the whole episode in the past and moving on. However, if he or she is serious about saving your marriage, they should be willing to discuss the affair if it is important to you and if it is what you need to heal.

You're still angry with your cheating spouse Whether your style is to conceal your anger until it seethes under the surface or you explode in a fit of rage, you can learn how to escape this cycle of anger that never seems to end. First you have to understand the reasons why you are still holding onto your anger. It could be because:

✔ You want some special treatment from your spouse to make you feel that you can move past the infidelity.

✔ You want your disloyal spouse to be genuinely remorseful and accept full responsibility for the hurt and pain he caused you.

✔ You want to see positive changes in his behavior which will assure you that he is not going to cheat on you again.

✔ You rationalize that prolonging the pain and anger will cause a change in your spouse's behavior. But being in anger all the time is not going to accomplish that, in fact it may ©Copyright 2010  http://www.EmotionalAffairAdvice.com

Page 2

Recovering From Infidelity - 3 Obstacles Holding You Back From Healing have the opposite effect and may cause your spouse to either attack you back or shut down completely. If you are going to stay and work on your marriage, you'll need to learn how to manage your angry feelings.

You're an emotional wreck – stop comparing yourself to her Being on the receiving end of an affair can and does play havoc with your emotions. When an affair enters your relationship, you not only lose trust in your spouse but also in your own self-image and this often leads to low self-esteem and self-doubts about who you are.

It also affects your ability to effectively work on saving your marriage and recovering from infidelity.

More often than you would like, you find yourself constantly comparing yourself to the other woman, imagining that she is somehow better than you - funnier, smarter and more accomplished You find ways to make yourself feel inferior to her and wonder if you will ever be able to stop the insane mind movie that is running in your head. But consider this:

✔ The other woman doesn’t have a clue and probably doesn’t care how you are feeling and is no doubt getting on with her life. Meanwhile you are feeling miserable and punishing yourself with images of her, whether real or imagined.

✔ There have been wonderful and beautiful people cheated on (look at all the high profile celebrity divorces). These people are rich, gorgeous, talented and accomplished and yet their spouses cheated on them. You would think that they have the perfect man or woman, so the problem is within the cheater and not you. Keep this in mind when those self esteem issues come into your head.

So, instead of letting those negative emotions consume you, learn how to control your own thoughts and direct them positively, tell yourself something great about you everyday and remember how you thought of yourself before the affair.

You can look at this episode in your life as a stumbling block or as a stepping stone to something new and wonderful. In recovering from infidelity, you should start focusing on both of you being dedicated to your relationship and rekindle the depths of your marriage bond.

©Copyright 2010  http://www.EmotionalAffairAdvice.com

Page 3

Recovering From Infidelity - 3 Obstacles Holding You Back From Healing Recovering from infidelity is possible. You can get past the cheating and build a better marriage right now and every day for the rest of your life. Start by downloading this FREE ebook here: http://www.emotionalaffairadvice.com/ and then follow the entire process so that you can restore the trust and save your marriage from divorce.

ŠCopyright 2010  http://www.EmotionalAffairAdvice.com

Page 4