Connect Group Leader Guide

LEADER

NAME:

GUIDE

CONTACT INFORMATION FOR YOUR LOCATION : __________________________________________________ __________________________________________________ _________________________________________________ __________________________________________________ __________________________________________________ __________________________________________________ __________________________________________________

TABLE OF

CONTENTS Connect Group Purpose - WHY

01

Discipleship Pathway Benefits of Connection within a Group

The Connect Group Leader - WHAT

05

What is a Connect Group Leader?

Connect Group Leader Responsibility Leadership Development Values of Connect Group Leader and Group Members

How to Lead a Connect Group - HOW

11

Typical schedule for a gathering Connect Group Calendar Planning Content Group Dynamics Checklist for getting started Connect Group Circle of Relationships How to fill your group Frequently Asked Questions Connect Group Leaders Planning Guide

Apendix

23

Connect Group Resource page How to use the Lead App. RightNow Media Tools For Table Leaders

Updated 8/17/23

Connect Group PURPOSE

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CONNECT GROUP PURPOSE

DISCIPLESHIP PATHWAY

Connect Groups have one, simple purpose—to bring people together in spiritual community and maturity through relational connection. We believe God created us to grow together in Redwood Faith. Only then can we weather the storms of life with our interconnected relationships.

At Emmanuel, we help people journey through our Discipleship Pathway. On this path people can expect to: Experience God, Grow Together, Discover Purpose, and Make a Difference. Connect Groups are a component of the Grow Together part of our path. Through Discipleship we believe God wants every one of us to be healthy, to be full of love, and to be growing together.

"Instead, we will speak the truth in love, growing in every way more and more like Christ, who is the head of his body, the church. He makes the whole body fit together perfectly. As each part does its own special work, it helps the other parts grow, so that the whole body is healthy and growing and full of love." EPHESIANS 4:15-16

We believe the best way for you to grow is to be in relationship with others.

Meaningful relationships can be hard to find, and Connect Groups exist to make life-changing spiritual relationships accessible.

"Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up. Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken." ECCLESIASTES 4:9-12

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CONNECT GROUP PURPOSE

BENEFITS OF CONNECTION WITHIN A GROUP

We believe our church must grow larger and smaller at the same time.

We grow larger to reach as many people as possible with the lifegiving message of Jesus. We gather in Connect Groups to grow smaller, grow in faith, build community, and care for people.

Emmanuel desires to be a church of Connect Groups, not a church with Connect Groups.

We base our Connect Group model on the early church as described in the Bible in the book of Acts and on the Ephesians portion of the Bible.

In Acts, you can read about the tremendous growth of the first church in Jerusalem, where small group meetings in homes helped lay the foundation.

Day after day, in the temple courts and from house to house, they never stopped teaching and proclaiming the good news that Jesus is the Messiah."

ACTS 5:42

We believe there are three benefits of connection:

G R O W TOGETHER HEALTHY FULL OF LOVE 03 |

CONNECT GROUP PURPOSE

BENEFITS OF CONNECTION WITHIN A GROUP (CONTINUED)

Grow Together "As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another." PROVERBS 27:17

Every person is created with God-given potential to make a difference in the world. Connect Groups are a place you can grow with others to become more like Jesus and reach the potential God has put inside you.

Healthy "He makes the whole body fit together perfectly. As each part does its own special work, it helps the other parts grow, so that the whole body is healthy and growing and full of love." EPHESIANS 4:16

It is through life together that our problems become smaller, and God uses others to bring support and encouragement to our lives. Connect Groups become a place where others don’t just know your name, but care about what is happening in your life and want to support you in your spiritual journey.

Full of Love "We know what real love is because Jesus gave up his life for us. So we also ought to give up our lives for our brothers and sisters." 1 JOHN 3:16

We were not made to do life alone. God created us for community, and Connect Groups provide a place to connect with others, share life, and love one another.

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The Connect Group Leader

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THE CONNECT GROUP LEADER

WHAT IS A CONNECT GROUP LEADER?

The primary role of a Connect Group Leader is to help group members grow in their walk with God through relational connection.

God has a part for all of us to play in the church!

"Now these are the gifts Christ gave to the church: the apostles, the prophets, the evangelists, and the pastors and teachers. Their responsibility is to equip God’s people to do his work and build up the church, the body of Christ. This will continue until we all come to such unity in our faith and knowledge of God’s Son that we will be mature in the Lord, measuring up to the full and complete standard of Christ." EPHESIANS 4:11-13

Connect Group Leaders come alongside the pastors and staff of Emmanuel to help care for people.

"Be sure you know the condition of your flocks, give careful attention to your herds;" PROVERBS 27:23

Being a "House of Prayer" for all nations (Matt. 21:13) is an important value of Emmanuel and it is important for you as a Connect Group Leader. Prayer is key to the success of your group!

"If my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and I will forgive their sin and will heal their land. " 2 CHRONICLES 7:14

How to pray for your group: Pray for any requests group members share.

Ask for the presence of the Holy Spirit in your group.

Pray that God will open people’s hearts to hear His truth.

Pray for authentic community to develop.

Pray for wisdom and strength to lead your group well.

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THE CONNECT GROUP LEADER

WHAT IS A CONNECT GROUP LEADER? (CONTINUED)

Lastly, you must BE CONFIDENT in Jesus!

You are doing a great work as a Connect Group Leader and God will help you!

If you only do what you feel comfortable doing, you don’t need God. God’s best is often found outside your comfort zone. When you serve God and people by leading a Connect Group, He will equip you and give you the strength and wisdom to lead well.

"For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline." 2 TIMOTHY 1:7 "For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength."

PHILIPPIANS 4:13

When you feel uncertain about leading a group, use Scripture to overcome the lies of the enemy: "When you feel unqualified, remember God has equipped you. It is not that we think we are qualified to do anything on our own. Our qualification comes from God. He has enabled us to be ministers of His new covenant."

2 CORINTHIANS 3:5-6

When you feel like your past disqualifies you, remember God uses imperfect people.

"Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God." 2 CORINTHIANS 1:3-4

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THE CONNECT GROUP LEADER

CONNECT GROUP LEADER RESPONSIBILITY

Connect with group members in between meetings through phone, email, text, social media, or face-to-face while, encouraging the other group members to connect with each other in between meetings as well.

Have fun through laughter and by creating an enjoyable environment.

Respect people’s time by beginning and ending your group on time.

Invite group members to attend church services, events and community outreach opportunities.

Rally the group around a member going through a crisis.

Use wisdom and be sensitive.

Train a co-leader to help share the responsibility of caring for and leading your group, and to eventually lead their own Connect Group Respond to communication from your Pastor and/or Connect Group Coach. It is important to stay connected!

Take Attendance using the LEAD app on your phone or through MyEmmanuel.

Note: If you ever feel that you are in a uncomfortable situation be sure to contact your Location Pastor.

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THE CONNECT GROUP LEADER

LEADERSHIP DEVELOPMENT

Growing in your role as a Connect Group Leader is important.

As we grow together and develop, we will be equipped for God's work. Development will look different at each location, but we will grow with one another as we serve in our church.

Connect with your Location Pastor or Connect Group Coordinator to learn more about leadership development opportunities.

Leadership Support As a Connect Group Leader, you are never alone in creating community! We have pastors, staff, and other Connect Group Leaders who are all working alongside you to cultivate great Connect Groups at Emmanuel.

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THE CONNECT GROUP LEADER

VALUES OF CONNECT GROUP LEADER & GROUP MEMBERS

CLEAR PURPOSE..................

To grow healthy spiritual lives by building a healthy small group community.

GROUP ATTENDANCE........... To give priority to the group meeting (call if absent or late).

To create a safe place where people can be heard

SAFE ENVIRONMENT............ and feel loved (no quick answers, snap judgments, or simple fixes).

BE CONFIDENTIAL................. To keep anything that is shared strictly confidential

CONFLICT RESOLUTION......

SPIRITUAL HEALTH...............

within the group or if necessary, the Location Pastor.

To avoid gossip and immediately resolve concerns by following the principles of Matthew 18:15-17.

To give group members permission to speak into my life and help me live a healthy, balanced spiritual life.

To limit our freedom by not serving or consuming alcohol (or the like) during group activities or among LIMIT OUR FREEDOM............. participants so as to avoid causing a weaker member to stumble (1 Cor 8:1- 13; Romans 14:19-21).

WELCOME NEWCOMERS.....

To invite friends who might benefit from the study and warmly welcome newcomers.

While everyone’s thoughts and opinions are valuable and encouraged, to ultimately rely on the truth SCRIPTURE............................. Scripture as our final authority.

BUILDING RELATIONSHIPS....................

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To get to know the other members of the group and pray for them regularly.

How to Lead a Connect Group

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HOW TO LEAD A CONNECT GROUP

TYPICAL SCHEDULE FOR A GATHERING

The Four W's Connect Group Method

WELCOME

WORD

WORSHIP & PRAYER

WITNESS

Welcome (15-20 min) – Greeting/Fellowship, Snacks/Food and upbeat Christian music in the background Word (30-45 min) – A Word-centered Group Discussion following prepared curriculum (a 10-15 min video teaching can be used here as well to frame the conversation) Worship and Prayer – Prayer requests are gathered, followed by a worship time (Connect Group worship media or worship playlist) that flows into a Spirit-led prayer time.

Witness – ongoing mission and details of the group (service projects, outreaches, inviting new people, group multiplication, next meeting reminder).

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HOW TO LEAD A CONNECT GROUP

CONNECT GROUP CALENDAR

SUMMER SEASON

JUNE THROUGH AUGUST APPROXIMATELY 8 TO 10 WEEKS SUMMER BOOK STUDY

FALL SEASON

SEPTEMBER THROUGH NOVEMBER APPROXIMATELY 8 TO 10 WEEKS FALL KICKOFF IN SEPTEMBER 4-5 WEEK SERMON SERIES BOOKLET

WINTER SEASON

DECEMBER THROUGH FEBRUARY APPROXIMATELY 8 TO 10 WEEKS PRAYER EMPHASIS

SPRING SEASON

MARCH THROUGH MAY APPROXIMATELY 8 TO 10 WEEKS SPRING CAMPAIGN IN MARCH

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HOW TO LEAD A CONNECT GROUP

PLANNING CONTENT

Each Connect Group will participate in all-church Connect Group campaigns throughout the year. Additionally, you have the opportunity to plan content for your Connect Group. Planning content can feel like a daunting task! Especially if it is your first time leading a Connect Group.

Here are some helpful steps to assist in choosing content:

Use the Sermon Discussion Guide The Sermon Discussion Guide is the primary resource used by Connect Group Leaders. This resource is compiled and sent to Connect Group Leaders weekly. The purpose of the Sermon Discussion Guide is to dive deeper into some scriptures and key takeaways shared in the weekend message. This resources is designed for even those who missed the service to benefit. It is very helpful for content planning.

Observe and Listen to the needs of your Group As you hear the concerns on people' hearts, be sure to take a mental note.

You may notice some common concerns. Pray and check the curriculum guide for meaningful curriculum to meet your group's needs.

Choose Based on a Topic Choose a topic you are passionate about such as marriage, family, finances, freedom, healing or Bible Study. The curriculum guide has many approved options. Approval is required for curriculum not found on Emmanuel's approved list.

If you are interested looking for content, go to our exclusive resource page by accessing the QR below. In addition, feel free to talk with a Location Pastor for more information.

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HOW TO LEAD A CONNECT GROUP

GROUP DYNAMICS

Set expectations A key to helping people feel comfortable in your group is to let them know what to expect. Take time to share how the group will flow from week to week. This can include things like explaining the times you will begin and end the group, how discussion or group activities will happen, and how group members can share prayer requests or best engage in the group.

Follow the 70-30 rule Give the members of your group room to speak up instead of doing all the talking yourself. About 70% of talking should come from members and 30% from the leader.

Keep discussion positive If conversation takes a negative or destructive turn, guide it back to a healthy place. If someone needs to talk about a sensitive or complex issue, you can follow up with them after the group or call your Coach to help you respond well.

Keep the conversation relevant to everyone Remember people in your group will be at different places in their spiritual journey.

Be thoughtful when you talk about spiritual concepts or church terms that might be unfamiliar to new Christians or new churchgoers.

Respect boundaries We want to maintain integrity and purity in our Connect Groups. Respecting boundaries will help protect the leaders and group members from entering into an uncomfortable or inappropriate situation.

Stay connected and responsive

Throughout the semester, respond to your Coach and/or Pastor about group attendance, potential new Connect Group Leaders, and how members are taking next steps.

What Connect Groups Aren't

They are Not… a place for Business They are Not… a place for Offerings They are Not… a place for Unapproved materials or speakers They are Not… a place for Controversial topics They are Not… a place for Questionable Activities

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HOW TO LEAD A CONNECT GROUP

CHECKLIST FOR GETTING STARTED

COMPLETE GROWTH TRACK. SIGN UP TODAY & START YOUR JOURNEY TOWARDS CHURCH MEMBERSHIP. ASK GOD FOR DIRECTION ABOUT WHAT KIND OF GROUP TO LEAD AND WHO TO INVITE. DECIDE YOUR CONNECT GROUP DETAILS (PLACE, TIME, ETC.).

CHOOSE CONTENT/CURRICULUM FOR YOUR GROUP. WRITE OUT A DESCRIPTION OF YOUR CONNECT GROUP. WHAT IS IT ABOUT! THINK OF PEOPLE TO INVITE TO YOUR CONNECT GROUP. USE THE CIRCLE OF RELATIONSHIPS. PLAN A TIME TO INVITE PEOPLE TO YOUR CONNECT GROUP.

DOWNLOAD AND LEARN HOW TO USE THE LEAD APP FOR COMMUNCATION AND ATTENDDANCE.

COMPLETE CONNECT GROUP LEADER 1:1 INTERVIEW.

REGISTER YOUR GROUP IN THE ONLINE CONNECT GROUPS DIRECTORY USING THE QR OR THE REGISTRATION FORM A FEW WEEKS BEFORE THE START OF YOUR CONNECT GROUP SEND MESSAGES NEW AND CURRENT MEMBERS REMINDING THEM ABOUT THE GATHERING.

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HOW TO LEAD A CONNECT GROUP

FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS

How can I recruit people to come to my group?

Start with people who are already in your sphere of influence (co-workers, friends, and neighbors).

Find people around you who are new to the church, are new believers, or have shown interest in getting involved.

Look for people you think you can help to realize their potential.

Ask God to send the right people to your group.

Shoulder Tap! Introduce yourself and make a new friend!

Where can I hold my Connect Group?

We encourage Connect Groups to meet outside the church building in places where you like to spend your time. Some of the most common meeting places are homes, restaurants, parks, coffee shops, and office buildings.

Where can I find Connect Group resources?

We have a variety of curriculum suggestions available to you at www.emmanuelcc.org/connect-group-resource-page/ How do I measure if group members are taking next steps?

Ask! Make it part of your discussion whether in a group setting or individually. Here are some great questions to guide your conversation: How did you get connected to this Connect Group?

What are you most looking forward to in the group?

Do you attend Emmanuel? Which Location?

What brought you to Emmanuel?

Which Location do you attend?

Have you ever been part of a Connect Group before?

What do you feel like God has been doing in your life lately?

What areas of your faith are you hoping to grow in the coming months?

What are you focused on in your life right now?

Have you been through Growth Track? Do you remember what your personality type or spiritual gifts?

Have you ever served on Team Emmanuel?

How can I pray for you?

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HOW TO LEAD A CONNECT GROUP

FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS

Does my group have to meet weekly?

The most successful groups meet weekly or bi-weekly 3 out of the 4 season. This helps the groups build genuine relational connection and spiritual maturity.

What should I do if someone in my group shares something with me (or the group) that requires attention beyond what I (or we) can provide?

If you encounter a difficult situation within your Connect Group, please know that you are not alone. If a member is going through a crisis, you can rally the group around them to provide prayer and encouragement. Use wisdom and be sensitive to the situation. If you are unsure of what to do, don’t hesitate to ask your Coach. Also, you and/or the group member can call or email the Pastor of your location.

How can I share stories of life change from the Connect Group semester?

We love hearing about lives that are changed through Connect Groups. You can share your stories with your Coach, Location Pastor or submit them at connectgroup@emmanuelcc.org.

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HOW TO LEAD A CONNECT GROUP

HOW TO FILL YOUR GROUP?

"Then the master told his servant, ‘Go out to the roads and country lanes and compel them to come in, so that my house will be full.’" Luke 14:23 Connect Groups are best when they start with at least five other people...so if you want people to be in your group, then you will need to start by finding them! Think about the people already in your life that you have the opportunity to invite into Christian community.

Use the Circle of Relationships List on Page 20 to assist you with identifying the people who are in your sphere of influence to invite.

In addition to the people you know, invite new people from church through Group Finder, Growth Track, Group Kick-off events, Team Emmanuel, and even people that you've never met before! All you have to do is S.T.A.R.T.

S... Start

Start the conversation by introducing yourself! Ask their name and how long have they been coming to Emmanuel. (This seem really easy but it is often the hardest to do!)

T... Talk

Talk with the goal of finding some common ground to keep the conversation "growing". Talk about things like family, friends, passions, and hobbies. Get to know the person.

A... Ask

Ask deeper questions! Find out the WHY behind their passions, hobbies and occupation. Go beyond knowing and into understanding the person.

R... Reciprocate

Reciprocate! Tell them about your passions, family and occupation. If they didn't ask questions back, answer the questions you just asked them. Let them get to know and understand you!

T... Tell

Tell them about the opportunity to be a part of your Connect Group. Tell about the benefits of connection.

Exchange contact information or an email and follow up same day.

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HOW TO LEAD A CONNECT GROUP

CONNECT GROUP CIRCLE OF RELATIONSHIPS

Discover the people already in your life that you have the opportunity to invite into community. Use the visual below to take a relationship inventory and make a list of people who you can invite into your group experience.

Family (Immediate or Extended)

1. ____________________ 2. ____________________ Fellowship (Church)

Friends (Neighbors, Kids’ Sports, School, etc.)

1. ____________________ 2. ____________________

1. ____________________ 2. ____________________

Fun (Gym, Hobbies, Hangouts)

1. ____________________ 2. ____________________

Factory/Firm (Work, Professional areas

1. ____________________ 2. ____________________

FOLLOW THIS SIMPLE THREE-STEP PROCESS: 1. Think about the people within each area of relationship.

2. Make Your List of People.

3. Pray over your entire list.

3. Invite the entire list out to your group * Over 50% of those invited to a Connect Group say, “Yes!*

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HOW TO LEAD A CONNECT GROUP

CONNECT GROUP LEADER'S PLANNING GUIDE

Leading a Connect Group is important and takes consistency to build a group. We ask you to consider a year-long commitment. This does not mean you have to meet every session, but you will stay in contact with your group. We will go through this process and renew leadership commitments each year.

TO BEGIN PLANNING, CONSIDER THESE QUESTIONS: 1. Are you in agreement with the Connect Group Leader Commitment? ____________ 2. Where will your group meet? (Home, online, coffee shop) _____________________ 3. Who will your group minister to? (Singles, women, men, young adults, married) _______________________________________________________________________ 4. We will meet on _____________________(day of week) at ____________ (time).

5. Who will be your co-leader or leader in training? _____________________________ NEXT, PLAN OUT YOUR CURRICULUM FOR THE YEAR. Begin with the end in mind. Plan your group in such a way that the participants understand the goal of multiplying the group.

Think about helping your participants grow spiritually. What are the gaps in their lives? Where are they at with knowledge regarding Spiritual gifts, prayer, Bible study? What other topics would be helpful? Consider studies to help your group grow.

The Sermon Discussion Guide will be available year-round (except for major holidays marked below). The Sermon Discussion Guide can be used as the curriculum or as a fill-in option for weeks between studies.

Each year there will be an “All-Church Campaign” that we ask all groups to participate in.

Each summer there will be a book study for individuals or Connect Groups to give summer flexibility.

Use the Curriculum map on the CG resource website to plan your curriculum. If you don’t find your desired choice on the curriculum map, please contact CG resources for when deviating from the options.

Look at the number of weeks, you may want to pick two curriculums or a combination of curriculum and Sermon Discussion Guides.

Plan four activities with your group each year. Consider holiday celebrations, potluck, fun night, community outreach, etc.

Plan breaks for your group! There are 52 weeks in a year. Some people meet yearround. If you use the recommended calendar below, it would be about 38 times.

Groups do not have to meet all 12 weeks in a session, but we do ask groups to start on the launch dates below.

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HOW TO LEAD A CONNECT GROUP

CONNECT GROUP LEADER'S PLANNING GUIDE, CONT.

Next Communicate Your plan: • Communicate your plan with your Connect Group Coach/Campus Pastor • Submit curriculum requests to your Campus administrator.

• Update your meeting dates on your Connect Group Calendar and update your group description.

• Communicate with your group participants.

Connect Group Registration Form

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APPENDIX

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APPENDIX: CONNECT GROUP RESOURCES

ACCESS TO CONNECT GROUP ONLINE RESOURCE LIBRARY

www.emmanuelcc.org/connect-group-resource-page/

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APPENDIX: CONNECT GROUP RESOURCES

HOW TO USE THE LEAD APP.

Using the LEAD app Downloading LEAD app Sign in (Use your My Emmanuel log-in) Creating Connect Group Events Click Calendar then click on the "three button menu" on upper right side then click, "Create Event" Once there, Type in ( first name(s) Connect Group | creative title (optional) Add your starting date under the "Date" category Start and End time in appropriate categories Check the box, "Make this event repeat" and then select the frequencey of your Connect Group Select end date (For Fall semester Only ___, For Winter Semester _______, For Summer _______.

Click "+Location" to add the location of your Connect Group then click, "+Photo" and Take A friendly or fun picture!

Lastly, Click "Save" in the upper right hand corner.

YOU HAVE CREATE D YOUR CONNECT GROUP SCHEDULE Attendance Taking Click on the "Attendance" on your Connect Group Homepage Select the appropriate day Select all who have attended or if you canceled select, "DID NOT MEET" Under "Event Note" write about how YOU are doing Under "Praise or Prayer" write about how your group is doing, including Prayer and Praise reports Lastly and most important, Click, "Email Summary to" and click Leaders. then Click "Save" Add Members to your group People can be added to your group in the LEAD app if they have a MyEmmanuel profile. If not, check with your Pastor for the location's process for adding new members to your group.

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APPENDIX: CONNECT GROUP RESOURCES

HOW TO USE THE LEAD APP.

Additional Instructions for Using the LEAD app

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APPENDIX: CONNECT GROUP RESOURCES

RIGHTNOW MEDIA ACCESS

Instructions for Accessing RightNow Media

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APPENDIX: CONNECT GROUP RESOURCES

TOOLS FOR TABLE LEADERS

TOOLS FOR TABLE LEADERS HOW TO LEAD A DISCUSSION THAT HAS GREAT IMPACT AND INVOLVEMENT FROM THE ENTIRE GROUP

Biggest Fear? Do I need to have ALL THE ANSWERS? For many table leaders, one of the more challenging things we do is facilitating a group discussion. Very few of us feel like we'll have all the right answers, or that we can handle whatever curve balls will be thrown our way (and there will be some!). There may be some people in your group who have more Bible knowledge or life experience than you.

But here's the good news: that's not what facilitating a group discussion is about. We don't have to have all the answers.

We don't have to lead the perfect discussion every time.

We don't even have to get through all the material in each meeting!

The Goal: When we're facilitating a table discussion, our main goal is to connect and get them talking!

1. We want to challenge people to think about the topic at-hand 2. We want to create a safe environment for people to share their thoughts—and 3. Help everyone feel valued about the input they've offered.

Thankfully, there are some established practices and principles that can help us accomplish those goals.

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APPENDIX: CONNECT GROUP RESOURCES

TOOLS FOR TABLE LEADERS

CREATING CONNECTION: Research shows the most common questions people ask themselves when meeting someone new: Are you warm?

Are you trustworthy?

Connect with participants beforehand.

Get there early and connect with the participants. (Emotional Intelligence encourages employees to get to work early and connect with other employees. When you connect it gives you more empathy and understanding on how to handle interactions.)

Call or text participants between meetings.

Don’t be discouraged by attendance! Each person is there for a reason!

Value the ONE. Get to know each person. Follow up with those who are absent. Attendance is a clue to connectedness.

Connecting Questions are helpful in getting to know people. These questions shouldn’t be too deep or personal. Practice using easy questions: What brought you to Emmanuel? Who did you bring with you today?

Oh, do you have kids? How many? How old are they?

What’s YOUR style of connecting? Use your Personality Style: D: Come on over! Sit here if you’d like.

I: Encouragers, enthusiastic, friendly S: Calm & thorough explanations, patient, great listeners, offers to grab them a snack C: Accurate & Diplomatic. You’ll want to go around the circle methodically. You’ll connect with everyone that way:) What spiritual gifts can you use to help you connect with participants? (ie: faith: pray the Lord would show you when your trust in him will bolster the conversation. Intercessors: let participants know that you’re praying for them. Etc…)

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APPENDIX: CONNECT GROUP RESOURCES

TOOLS FOR TABLE LEADERS

ASKING GOOD QUESTIONS: One of the most important skills in table facilitation is not having all the right answers but asking the right questions.

Ask open-ended questions (Yes or no questions do not create conversation).

Ask follow-up questions. Many people default to staying pretty surface-level with their answers to your questions, so get in the habit of not letting them off the hook.

Ask more questions that follow up on their response. Here are some examples of good follow-up questions for the short/simple answers that people often give: What makes you say that?

How do you feel about that?

Start with general questions before you introduce deeper questions.

CREATE A SAFE ENVIRONMENT: Trust is perhaps the most vital key to really making your table a place where genuine community can be formed. Participants need to be able to trust each other that this is a safe place—a place where they can get real and know that they will not be judged, gossiped about, and so on.

Have participants sit at the SAME table each week so they can bond with the table leader and the other participants in the group. Tables can be switched up each season.

There are some important steps you can take to create a SAFE environment: a. As the leader, be sure to model safety and confidentiality yourself! b. When someone shares—no matter how much you may disagree, or how theologically incorrect they may be—make sure they feel valued in the moment. (If needed, you can talk to them about their comments in private, but it should be done one-on-one or by a Pastor). c. Avoid giving unrequested advice —"Well if I were you, I'd just do this …" i. That is one of the quickest ways to shut someone down from sharing.

When you hear other participants do this, gently remind them that "this is a safe place, and we're here to listen, not to give advice."

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APPENDIX: CONNECT GROUP RESOURCES

TOOLS FOR TABLE LEADERS

REMEMBER—STAY ON TRACK Look at subject and keep the discussion on track.

Stay open to the Holy Spirit during each meeting and follow where he leads.

SPEND TIME IN PRAYER BEFOREHAND: Ask that God would help you in leading the discussion.

God is the one who does the work in people's hearts—we are not responsible for it! We are simply creating an environment for community and life change to happen.

DO'S & DON'TS OF LEADING DISCUSSION: DON’T be afraid of silence.

DO allow time for people to think and respond.

DON’T talk at people -- don’t teach the whole lesson.

DO talk with people -- ask questions to bring out responses.

DON’T feel like you always have the answer to difficult situations.

DO allow room for the Holy Spirit to bring clarity and hope.

(It’s ok to say, “I don’t know”.)

DON’T be the expert or know-it-all person who has the answer for every question.

DO create an environment where other people can contribute.

DON’T interrupt people while they are talking.

DO give people the space to share their thoughts.

DON’T be afraid to address people who are dominating the discussion.

DO pull them aside privately and ask them to give others more opportunity to share.

DON’T let negative comments derail the discussion.

DO take the lead in redirecting the conversation.

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APPENDIX: CONNECT GROUP RESOURCES

TOOLS FOR TABLE LEADERS

DIFFICULT SITUATIONS: How to address awkward moments as a Table Leader An effective table discussion means EVERY person at your table participates and contributes to the discussion. Sometimes the challenging part of facilitating discussion is that it involves people, and dealing with people is always messy.

THE OVER-TALKER. This person always has plenty to say and loves to be the first person to say it.

1. Remind everyone at your table that this is an equal participation group. So if you have 10 people in the group, you want each person to contribute their 10 percent to the discussion.

2. If the problem continues, talk to the person outside of group. Affirm them in what they do contribute and tell them you need their help in getting some of the other people in the group to open up and share.

3. Sometimes you can go as far as to ask them to commit to not being the first person to answer a question, or to only answer when you call on them—or to even work out a subtle signal you can give them when they are talking too much.

THE NON-TALKER. This is the quiet person in the group who never wants to share.

1. If you think that doing so won't scare them off even more—that they just need a little prompting—try calling on them periodically to share an answer.

2. Also, be sure to affirm them big-time when they do respond.

3. If that doesn't work, talk to the person outside of group. Again, affirm them in what they do contribute, and let them know that you want more people to get to hear their perspective.

4. Remind them how valuable all the different perspectives are to the entire group.

THE TANGENT-STARTER. This person loves to get the group way off track by starting random tangents and rabbit trails.

1. First, don't get upset at the tangents, and feel free to go off on them occasionally. When the time comes, firmly bring the discussion back on track.

2. If the problem becomes excessive, again, talk to the person outside of group.

3. Affirm them in what they do contribute and let them know about the challenge you have in trying to facilitate a good group and bring across certain points each week, and how the tangents make your job harder.

4. Ask them how they can help you to keep discussion focused on the key points.

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APPENDIX: CONNECT GROUP RESOURCES

TOOLS FOR TABLE LEADERS

THE INSENSITIVE PERSON. This individual gives advice, makes fun of answers and people, cuts people off, or does a variety of other things to offend other group members.

This person is dangerous to the health of your group! They can keep it from being a safe group more quickly than anything else.

So remind everyone of the group guidelines again, and definitely have the one-on-one conversation outside of group to let the person know how important a safe group is, and what they can do to help make that happen.

Other TYPES: 1. The party person 2. Know-it-all 3. Angry/critical person 4. Person who has mental health issues – depression, aggressive, manic, etc 5. People who need additional pastoral care or prayer ministry 6. People with boundary issues THE WRONG FIT. Sometimes people don’t seem to fit well with others at their table (or with their table leader.) It’s okay if we are not all compatible because we grow when we are around others who don’t think like us. However, there are a few situations when we need to adjust tables: if someone requests to change tables, we need to honor their request.

Or if we notice someone has stopped coming, we need to follow up. It may be that they did not fit with their table and did not know how to request a change.

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APPENDIX: CONNECT GROUP RESOURCES

TOOLS FOR TABLE LEADERS

DISCIPLESHIP CONVERSATIONS: Our mission at Emmanuel is “For Everyone to Know Jesus, Grow Together, and Live with Purpose.”

What does it look like to have spiritual conversations with others? We can help cultivate spiritual conversations in six general areas where we want to see growth 1) Spirit 2) Soul 3) Body 4) Mission 5) Relationship and 6) Finances.

This works best in one-on-one conversations. Try to touch on two areas above when meeting with others. “Hey, how’s your health?” and “How does that impact you emotionally?” And listen. This will give you insight on how to pray or encourage them. Give resources or support to help them grow.

Going deeper, we want everyone to: Experience Salvation/Baptism Understand Scripture/Devotional life Actively participate in Christian Community/Discipleship Understand and practice: prayer, generosity, worship, and life in the Spirit Develop Perseverance through trials and challenges When discipling others, ask yourself what is their next step to grow? And then help them take their next step. Each small step brings growth.

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THANK YOU! FOR BEING AN IMPORTANT PART OF

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