Burman University ’s Student-led Newspaper
March Issue Kim
H R O N I C L E
EDITOR’S LETTER
Happy Spring, friends! I don’t know about you, but I have been dying for some warmer weather and sunshine. Alberta can be really brutal with the surprise snow and cold snaps after a day of blue skies and +10 degrees. However, it has been helping me get ready to graduate and move back to BC! For those heading back to warmer places after the end of this school year, just use Alberta’s crazy weather as a motivator to get ready to head home!
Side note – my apologies for releasing this issue so late in the month. I’ve been dealing with some pretty epic burnout and senioritis, as I’m sure a lot of you are as well. Sorry to my writers, I’m strict on deadlines for them but not for myself (hehe)!
That being said, I think you’ll all really enjoy this issue! It’s fun and silly, with some serious articles sprinkled in (sparingly). I hope you like it! :)
As always, if you have questions, concerns, or contributions, you are welcome to contact me at emmamowat@burmanu.ca or Melody Ilacas, the sponsor of The Chronicle, at melodyilacas@burmanu.ca.
EMMA MOWAT EDITOR-IN-CHIEF
March Playlist
All songs are by female artists
Ripples - beabadoobee
I’m Kissing You - Des’ree
Is It a Crime - Sade
Dying for You - Charli xcx
Years - Sierra Ferrell
Choosin’ Texas - Ella Langley
Midnight Sun - Zara Larsson
Just Keep Watching - Tate McRae
Girl Like Me - PinkPantheress
Irreplaceable - Beyonce
Love Me Not - Ravyn Lenae
ceilings - Lizzy McAlpine
Blouse - Clairo
Writer of the Month
Teresa Bruce
“Burman Throughout the Ages”
The Chronicle team voted on our favourite article in the previous issue, and Teresa recieved the most votes for her “Burman Throughout the Ages” article! Check it out in the February issue if you haven’t already!
Would You Rather...
have to marry someone from Burman
find 100 roaches in your attic
let your parents read your texts
drink all your beverages from a huge bucket
marry an ogre
attend Hogwarts School
have everyone know the details of your finances
have a photographic memory age only from the neck up
sound like Jar Jar Binks for the rest of your life
or or or or or or or or or or
never find true love?
a random person?
your boss read your thoughts? a baby bottle? a troll?
do Jedi training?
the details of your love life?
be able to forget anything you wanted? only from the neck down?
sound like Siri for the rest of your life?
Written by Briana Perrone
Ms. Take Advice with
Ms Take:
Well, my dear readers, another month of replies is here. I am quite happy to hear from you all. Thank you for putting a smile on my face, you are all truly amusing.
Chariot Owner Superiority
Dear Ms. Take, In the Burman email it’s honestly annoying how many people are trying to bum for rides, and most don’t even offer to pay for gas. Like really some of ya’ll who are asking for rides every other day are so reliant on others it’s sad. I get that life is not fair and not everyone has the money for a brand new car and the test itself is expensive, but at some point you guys need to grow up and learn some independence. You need to get a job and save money, pay for driving lessons, and eventually get a car. It’s not easy, but life is not easy and you can stay reliant on others your entire life. I know many people who have come from very very very unfortunate circumstances and still have been able to get their license and a car. So there is really no excuses. Another thing is, university is optional, you can take gap years to work and get the essential things, like transporta-
tion. This may come off as an ignorant take but honestly you guys need to learn how to be an adult and get things done. No excuses.
Sincerely, Ford Ranger
Ms. Take:
Dearest Ford Ranger, I quite understand that the frequent ride-seeking emails may test one’s patience. You seem rather passionate about the matter. Dare I ask, is this drawn from personal experience? In some respects, others may sympathize with your frustration. And yet, I cannot help but pose a few gentle questions in return. How do you know these students are not contributing to the cost of fuel? The absence of such detail in an email does not confirm its absence in reality. Must generosity always itemize itself publicly? And are you certain none of these individuals is an international student, far from home, without the immediate luxury of a vehicle, perhaps still learning the rhythms of this country? Or students diligently saving for a car, working toward a licence, doing precisely what you would deem “hard work,” yet temporarily in need of assistance? Life, my dear Ranger, is rarely as straightforward as a paved road. There are unforeseen circumstances, unnoticed efforts, and quiet struggles unfolding behind the briefest of requests. Yes, hard work does indeed pay off. But in
the interim, a measure of communal support has never ruined a society; in fact, it rather strengthens it. Perhaps there are scenarios that are yet to cross your mind. And perhaps, just perhaps, extending grace costs far less than a tank of gas.
Release Him from Yearning!
Dear Ms. Take,
So, I know this guy since elementary, but we’ve only became friends around middle school. At that time have a so-called crush on one of his friend, to the point where our classmates are teasing us. But then I have to move to a new country, fast forward to high school, me and my so-called crush started to call and talk with each, a situation-ship, if you will, but that only lasted for almost a year or so, end it ended. Fast forward again, I just finished first year university, my family decided to go and visit home for a month, where my classmates and I did a little reunion, that day, our classmates were teasing me and the so-called crush/ situation-ship, then a couple hour later, I was a little bit under the influence, received a message from the so-called crush/situation-ship, we chatted for a couple of hours, that’s where he told me about
something, which was about the guy, where he posted a story saying that the guy “he was waiting for 7 years”, which caught me off guard. So after that the guy and I started talking, I told him that I cant be in a relationship, because I’m focusing on my school, then the guy said that he is willing to wait, that he is good with the friendship that we have. While I was still back home, me and the guy would meet up and talk, I guess it was dates, but I didn’t really put a label to those meet ups. Then fast forward, again, to the last night before I left, the guy and I met up we talked, I told him again that I’m not looking for a relationship, and he said that he is willing to wait, then we hugged and went home. Over the next two weeks we’d chat and call each other, but then I started thinking that, what if I’m not ever ready to move our friendship to the next level, that what if I just waste his time for nothing. So I don’t know this was a dum move but, I decided to message his a paragraph about the topic above, how I think we both should stop whatever the thing we have and to just stay as friends, that I feel like I would just waste his time waiting for me.
So uh, that’s that, I just wanted that out, I haven’t really told anyone about this, so tell me things, advice or something.
Sincerely, Tired Cat
Ms. Take:
Ah, Little Cat, you have indeed found yourself in a rather delicate pickle. And I fear your assessment is correct; allowing him to wait indefinitely, however, is, unintentionally, a quiet theft of his time and sentiment. Better to remove the bandage swiftly
than prolong the sting. Speak plainly. If he truly values you, he may very well remain your friend. But take care, honesty must never become an excuse to toy with affection. Keep it kind. Keep it clear. And above all, keep it consistent. Mixed signals are the cruellest currency in matters of the heart. If you do not desire a relationship, say so. If you are uncertain, do not anchor him to your indecision. Confidence, my dear, is not found in keeping options open; it is found in standing firmly by the truth. Be bold, Little Cat. Clarity is far kinder than confusion.
The Spelling Suitor
Dear Ms. Take,
How does one persue a courtship with a lady such as yourself? With UTMOST Sincerity, An Undesirable Suitor
Ms. Take:
My Most Audacious Correspondent, to receive such a proposal in my inbox was, I confess, both bold and astonishing. I am quite taken aback by your confidence, dearest one, a point in your favour, certainly. Alas… you forfeited several more with the tragic misspelling of pursue. It is “p-u-r-su-e,” not “persue.” If one intends to court a writer, should one not first demonstrate a respectable command of the written word? A most elementary prerequisite, I should think. And now, to your rather presumptuous inquiry: how do you know I am a lady? Better yet, how do you know which lady you address? There are several formidable female writers behind these pages. For all you know, this may be a collaboration — a council of ink-stained minds responding in amused unity to your overtures. Poor,
unsuspecting soul. Or dare I ask… are you proposing to all of us at once? Polygamy, sir? On this campus?
How utterly scandalous.
Mental Health Matters
Dear Ms. Take,
I think the mental health resources on campus could use some improvement, with more counsellors to meet the needs of so many students. I know this costs money... but it would be insanely beneficial. I know others who think similarly. Sincerely, NaySayer
Ms. Take:
Dearest “NaySayer,” Since you declined the courtesy of a pseudonym, I have taken the liberty of assigning one. It seemed fitting. You raise concerns regarding mental health resources on campus — a subject far too important to be reduced to murmured dissatisfaction alone. From what I gather, our campus fares rather well compared to others that have little to no support. That said, adequacy is not perfection, and improvement is always a worthy pursuit. So I pose this to you: rather than simply lamenting the shortcomings, why not submit thoughtful solutions? What precisely would you enhance? More counsellors? Extended hours? Peerled initiatives? Workshops tailored to the particular pressures of this campus? You might consider directing these ideas to the Sakala Success Centre, not as a complaint, but as a collaboration. Imagine devising a proposal with them, shaping resources intentionally to reflect the lived experiences of students here. Reform
Continued on Next Page
is far more persuasive when accompanied by strategy. Critique, my dear NaySayer, is only half the task. Contribution is the braver half.
Truth.
Dear Ms. Take, Not necessarily advice seeking, but have you ever received advice submissions that you weren’t allowed to put in the magazine? Or do all submissions get answered?
Sincerely, Mr Impertinent
Ms. Take:
Dear Mr. Impertinent, I receive many submissions, some clever, some not, some bold, and a few that are best left in the shadows. Not every thought requires an audience, and not every grievance deserves the spotlight. While advice may be my craft, discretion is my standard. If something does not grace these pages, it is not for lack of intrigue, but for the preservation of peace.
The Cleanliness Crusade
Dear Ms. Take,
Some of y’all actually have no idea how to wash your hair. The AMOUNT of people who walk around with giant flakes of dandruff and greasy hair is disgusting. And yes, people do notice when you are constantly scratching your head. IT IS GROSS, PEOPLE! Wash your hair regularly, use anti-dandruff shampoo, and look in the mirror to see if you’re walking around looking dirty. This is a university; it is meant to prepare you for future careers; you’re not going to pass an interview if you show up looking like there’s an avalanche on your head. If you have
a chronically greasy or flaky scalp, look up YouTube tutorials on how to fix it or go to a salon. There are salons in or around Lacombe that are great and they will help you, no excuses for being gross!!!
Sincerely, Cleanliness Crusader
Ms. Take:
My Dear Cleanliness Crusader, Your proclamation has arrived with all the subtlety of a snowstorm, an avalanche, one might say. The passion! The conviction! The exfoliation imagery! One can only admire such commitment to public hygiene. And yet, might we proceed with a touch more grace? While I, too, believe the mirror to be a most underutilized instrument of self-awareness, it is worth remembering that not every flake signals neglect. Some battles of the scalp are medical, persistent, and entirely uninvited. Not all grease is born of laziness, nor all scratching of barbarism. Yes, we are scholars. Yes, interviews await. Yes, presentation matters. But so too does tact. Encouragement, my dear, need not arrive cloaked in disgust. A gentle reminder will always travel farther than a public shaming. Perhaps instead of declaring war upon dandruff, we might simply suggest kindly that personal care is part of professional preparation. Salons exist. So do dermatologists. And so, fortunately, does compassion. Let us prepare one another for the future without reducing each other to snowfall metaphors.
Passion for Professors
Dear Ms.Take,
So is it wrong to be attracted to a professor? :3
Sincerely, I need help
Ms. Take:
My Dear Tempted Scholar, Is it wrong? No. Is it potentially messy, reputation-altering, transcript-affecting, and policy-triggering? Indisputably, YES. Professors can be attractive. Intelligence is undeniably alluring. Authority? Well… that has been known to turn heads, too. We have all considered it (no, we absolutely have not)... But the moment someone has the power to grade you, recommend you, or academically humble you, the dynamic ceases to be equal. And it never will be.
Even if it feels mutual, the imbalance is baked into the syllabus. Universities do not draft policies for amusement. They draft them because, at some point in history, someone declared, “What if we ignored sound judgment?” And now, we have rules. So by all means, admire discreetly. Crush quietly. Graduate loudly.
Away with You, Creep!
Dear Ms.Take,
What’s the best position? (u know what i mean >:))
Sincerely, im totally not freaky
Ms. Take:
My Dear “Totally Not Freaky,” as for the “best position,” I can only recommend that you firmly position yourself inside…. the driver’s seat of a car and drive far, far away from this Christian campus. Certain curiosities are better explored… elsewhere.
Check your Burman email for the google form to anonymously submit your request for advice from Ms. Take!
ABOLISH Daylight Savings
Written by Justin Pandala
So it’s that time of year again. Yes, Daylight Savings. Unfortunately, we’re “springing forward” and losing an hour, so prepare to be nice and extra tired. Are you already pooped out from after midterms and having trouble getting up out of bed in the morning for that amazing 8:00 am class? Well, congratulations because it just got harder! Personally, I do not feel like the tiredness from jumping an hour forward is worth the extra hour of sleep we randomly get in November when we change the clocks again. Like, sure, that extra hour feels good for about 3 days, and then your body is used to it again. But in March, it is so PAINFUL to have the time feel like it’s an hour earlier, I swear my body can’t get used to it until at least a week. And for what? As more research comes out, it’s been found that this time change is quite unhealthy for our bodies. It messes up our circadian rhythm badly. And who likes changing every single clock? I know I don’t.
light. The modern concept was later developed by George Vernon Hudson and promoted by William Willett, who argued that shifting clocks forward in summer would provide more usable evening daylight. Daylight saving time was first officially implemented by Germany during World War I in 1916 to conserve fuel and reduce energy consumption, and many other countries soon adopted the practice for similar economic and practical reasons.
Daylight saving time originated in efforts to better use natural daylight and conserve energy. The idea was first suggested in 1784 by Benjamin Franklin, who joked that people could save on candles by waking earlier to use morning sun-
Now, someone tell me WHY we listened to these old guys?! In northern parts of North America, such as our very own Lacombe, Alberta, sunrise and sunset times shift dramatically throughout the year, mitigating the so-called “positive” effects of daylight saving time. Daylight saving time was introduced mainly to save energy during World War I. But modern studies suggest that electricity savings are small or inconsistent, that people may use more air conditioning or heating instead, and that energy use patterns today are very different from those in the early 1900s.
LET’S STOP OVERCOMPLICATING THINGS AND JUST ABOLISH DAYLIGHT SAVINGS. IT JUST DOES NOT MAKE SENSE ANYMORE.
Silence, Benjamin Franklin!
international women’s day
Written by Martin Santomin
First of all, women are way too goated, let’s get that out of the way. Shout-out to my mom, my girlfriend, my sisters, the newspaper team, since they’re all women, and honestly, PinkPantheress, cause her new song was really good. On a more serious note, though, International Women’s Day is an international day of observance to honour and highlight the contributions, achievements, and central roles of women in history and the modern day. The first International Women’s Day took place on March 8, 1911, and has been celebrated ever since. Some of my favourite, most notable women activists: Malala Yousafzai was one of the first women activists I remember learning about in middle school, and we even read part of her book for English. I remember her as she was known for surviving getting shot by the Taliban and was a huge activist for women’s education in the Middle East. Michelle Obama was the former First Lady and was big on empowering girls in America and promoting equal healthcare. Whenever I look at Michelle Obama, I feel safe. She gives off this type of southern love energy, that’s how I can explain it. Serena Williams is another one of my favourites. She has won 23 Grand Slams and is an excellent example of women dominating sports. She was big on women’s equality and sports, and to me, she seems so powerful. Like, I get inspired to work hard whenever I watch Serena Williams play. All in all, International Women’s Day is a day to appreciate and reflect on the impact of women in society and in our lives. So find a woman in your life this month and give her a high-five or affirmation. As a matter of fact, let’s have International Women’s Day every day!!!
Some
Awesome Women:
Malala Yousafzai
Michelle obama
Serena williams
Andy (martin’s girlfriend)
What’s Really Going On at Riverton?
Written by Bronwyn Christison
Have you ever wondered what really goes on at Riverton? What are the students up to? If you are newly acquainted with Burman, let me give you a rundown. Riverton is our third dormitory residence located just off campus on Beardsley Ave. It is that big white building, and yes, every time I say the name, it somehow seems like it could be a good psychiatric ward name. Anyhow, it is meant for mature students, students in their 3rd or 4th year, or those over 21. Riverton also houses some faculty members and families on the lower level. I myself have recently moved there this semester and wanted to know more about it, because honestly, my experience has been so chill - my suitmates are quiet and clean.
So, I took it upon myself to interview a student who lives there to get their perspective on Riverton.
What is your name? “Lidia.”
What is your year? “4th year.”
How long have you lived in Riverton?
“2 years” (her 3rd and 4th year).
because it is quiet. Also, the distance to walk when it is cold. It feels like a far walk from campus.”
How does it compare/feel to other Burman dorms?
“It feels more independent compared to Lakeview. In LVH, you step outside, and you see everyone, but at Riverton, you don’t - there’s no lounge space. Riverton feels very separated. For example, in Riverton, you get water, and that’s it, but in Lakeview, when you get water, you’re going to have a conversation, and I love that, but that’s the difference.
In Lakeview, you step into your room, and that’s your whole life awaiting you, but in Riverton, it’s like an apartment, so you have a couch, a kitchen, and your own separate room.”
What’s something about Riverton that you like?
“Your independence and individuality where you are on your own timing and own schedule; access the kitchen and living space at your own convenience. There is no curfew, you get to pick up your own groceries and pick when you want to eat, and it’s kind of more flexible.”
What is something about Riverton that you dislike?
“There’s this one big noise that happens in the walls, or the walls make some really weird sounds, and it goes, ‘tick, tick, tick’ and then goes ‘boom.’ Not every apartment experiences this, but some do and that’s mine! For me, I get used to it, but it makes me feel like ‘okay, when is it?’ And I will only hear it in my sleep
If you could name Riverton as a fruit, what would it be? Why?
“A plum. I think it’s because I only see females, and that’s totally fine. I like it, so sometimes you will hear someone down the hallway and be like ‘hey,’ and then they come into your room. It’s very easy for people to come over. It feels very girly.”
During your time here, have you heard any crazy stories or experienced anything a little wild?
“It’s honestly pretty calm, some bikes got stolen in the summer…lowkey things probably happen, but it’s chill.”
Thanks to Lidia, you now get a better sense of what Riverton residence is like if you don’t live there. And of course, if you do live there, and any “funny business” happens, be sure to write to Ms. Take about it! She’ll love to hear it!
The ever-ominous Riverton, via Google Maps.
To Brew or Not to Brew:
Spilling the Beans on Adventist Caffeine
Culture
kets to Mars, you’d think we’d have bigger things t o w orry about than an. Yet, here we are in 2026, still debating caffei ne. It feels like every sius, you’re making some kind of massive social sta tement. Why, in the middle of the 21st century, is a simple drink still such a heavy conversation?
that the rules change depending on which campus you call home. If you’ve choice, you aren't alone; the "health message" tend s to look a lot different the second you cross the border:
The students here basically decided they were done with the debate. After a massive petition, asts a 4.7-star review on Google. It’s the social h eart of the school, one ordered a flat white.
I asked a friend who goes there, and they described it as a "choose your own adventure" situation. s heavily personal. Some departments are chill enou gh to leave coffee le others still treat a coffee bean like a tiny, ro asted sin.
Southern is still the stronghold of the "traditiona l" vibe. You won’t see a Starbucks on retty intense. Some campus voices have even labelle d coffee consumption as a moral failing. Interestingly, many students here rely on energy drinks from the campu s store that technically dodge the "no coffee" rule, even if the y pack twice the caffeine.
Loma Linda University: As the health capital, LLU takes a clinical approa ch. You’ll find coffee in the hospital (shoutout to Café Padrino) because, let’s be honest , who wants an uncaffeinated surgeon? It’s less abo ut taboo and more about survival during a 12-hour shift.
THE REALITY CHECK: IT’S NOT THE BEAN, IT’S THE SLEE P
We got some advice from Andrew Barrett, a registere d nurse and future doctor (Lord willing!), who thin ks we’re focusing on the wrong thing. For him, the controversy isn't jus t about coffee; it’s about how we use any caffeinat ed drink to fake being functional.
"Caffeine’s biggest scam," Andrew says, "is its abi lity to mask poor sleep." He poses a blunt question : "If you had good sleep hygiene, would you even need the caffeine? Likely n ot."
The problem is that we underestimate just how terri ble poor sleep is for the body. When you use caffei ne to cover up exhaustion, you're ignoring some serious consequenc es:
In the short term: You lose your emotional filter, making you snappy a nd irritable. Your brain fills with fog, your memory starts "leaking" what you just studied, and your immune system crashes, leaving you open to eve ry campus cold. In the long term: The stakes are scary. Chronic poor sleep is a major risk factor for heart disease, obesity, and even dementia. Sleep is basically your brain's nightly c leaning cycle. Without it, the trash and waste prod ucts literally stay in your head.
He gave us some reality-check math to consider when you consume caffeinated drinks:
• The 6-Hour Rule: Caffeine has a half-life of about 6 hours. That 160 mg energy drink (like a Monster or Celsius) at 5:00 PM? By 11:00 PM, you still have about 80mg in your system; the equivalent of a Grande Starbucks l atte—wrecking your sleep quality.
• The Deep Sleep Trap: Even if you’re the person who says, "I can chug a R ed Bull and go right to sleep," Andrew warns that your sleep quality can still suffer, as caffeine in the system during sleep can negatively affect the quality of REM and deep sleep. Studies on teens and the college-ag ed have shown that high levels of caffeine may lead to higher anxiety levels, which is only made worse by poor sleep. Las tly, caffeine has been shown to have a potentially detrimental effect on memory, the last thing a student needs.
Andrew’s Survival Guide: (He by no means is an advo cate for caffeine.) If you must partake, stop all c affeine (coffee, tea, or energy drinks) by 2:00 PM, earlier the better. Befo re reaching for a second can, try sunlight, hydrati on, and exercise. Instead of coffee, try green tea, and look into all the new research about using creatine not just for the gym but for its positive effects on brain health!
THE SPIRITUAL MIDDLE GROUND: SIX PRINCIPLES FROM PA STOR ADAM
To dive deeper into the spiritual side of the cup, I reached out to Pastor Adam Deibert. For him, this isn't a simple "yes" or "no" issue. Instead, he views matters of Christian lifestyle as being full of "middle ground" rather t han outright permission or forbiddance. He uses six key principles to guide th ese nuanced decisions:
1. The Biblical Baseline
Since coffee didn't exist in Bible times, there is no explicit scriptur al "off-limits" command. Looking at Biblical princi ples regarding other foods, there is actually far more a llowance for variance in practice than many realize . Unless you have a specific physical intolerance or experience negativ e health effects, Pastor Adam suggests there’s no r eason coffee would be considered biblically "off-limits" for most people.
2. The Power of Self-Control
Can you engage in your morning ritual without losin g control? While a cup or two is usually fine, you have to watch for the red flags: losing track of how many cups you’ve had , defaulting to caffeine over water, or feeling phy sical agitation and a racing heart. These are usually indicators that it’ s time to cut back or take a total break.
3. Dependency vs. Habit
Research suggests people don’t become "addicted" to caffeine as much as they become "dependent". A goo d litmus test is to try going a day without it and substituting somethi ng non-caffeinated. Pastor Adam suggests that if yo u can "get by just as well without it," there’s no problem. However, if y ou find you literally can’t do without it, you migh t need to adjust your intake to a level where you aren't dependent.
4. The Pr ayer Test
It might sound odd to pray about your Starbucks ord er, but the Bible teaches that God wants to be invo lved in every detail of our lives. If you are genuinely conflicted, Past or Adam recommends going to God with an open heart. While you might not get a "lightning bolt" answer immediately, includin g God in the trial-and-error process brings a lot m decision.
5. Considering Your Community
Is anyone being negatively impacted by your choice? supporting those who might be struggling. Pastor Ad recovering alcoholic—it's about making sure your ex ample isn't hurting someone else’s 6. The Policy of Mutual Respect
Regardless of your conviction, are you trying to fo rce it on everyone else? If you believe coffee is b about it and expecting others to stop? On the flip side, if you’re okay with it, are you deliberately face of those who disagree?
As Pastor Adam puts it: "We can have a conviction a your neighbour as yourself" if we are using our bev erage choices as a way to judge or annoy others.
BEYOND THE PICTURE
At the end of the day, your beverage choice is exac tly that: a personal choice. Whether you’re Team De Team Espresso, or strictly Team Celsius, the realit y is that we’re all just trying to make it through week in one piece.
The 21st-century Adventist campus should be a place seriously, but where we prioritize grace even more. After all, if the goal is a clear mind and a kind that starts with how we treat each other. So, let’s leave the cup-watching and the judgment at the doo and instead, just offer a seat to the person lookin g for a place to study.
Written by Melissa Enache
The 100% True Story of St. Patrick and How He Came to Be So Famous
Written by Briana Perrone
St. Patrick’s Day, what is it really all about? All I really knew before writing this article was that Patrick is the patron saint of Ireland. But like, who was he? Is he related to Elphaba from Wicked? Wait, no, he likes to wear green but isn’t actually green (I think?). Anyway, my thoughts are getting ahead of me. After many hours spent researching, I have put together an informal account of how St. Patrick’s Day came to be.
Scholars haven’t reached a consensus on when Patrick was born, but it seems he lived sometime during the 5th century in England. His birth name was actually Maewyn; he only became known as Patrick after becoming a missionary. Patrick lived a pretty normal life (I would assume for that time period at least), as he did not die of some plague or disease or
public execution. However, at the age of 16, his life changed for the worse. No, I know what you were thinking. It was not that puberty had finally caught up with him, causing constant voice cracks, thus limiting his ability to flirt with fair maidens. Nay, my friend. He was kidnapped by kidnappers. That’s right. And they were from Ireland. Similar to Joseph in the Bible, he was taken from the only home he had ever known to work as a slave. As legend goes, after 6 years of captivity in Ireland, he had a vision telling him that a boat was waiting for him 200 miles away to take him home. And then our boy Patrick was just like, “Okay, sounds good!” and just left his captors without a fight? I’m so confused why he didn’t do that earlier, but you know, whatever, he had his reasons. So, Patrick walked those 200 miles and made his way back to England (eventually). Apparently,
A beautiful picture of St. Patrick-Elphaba, created by ChatGPT.
there was a little detour getting lost in the middle of France, but Patrick finally made it home. Once in England, he completed his education and became a Bishop for the Catholic Church.
Now, it would be reasonable to assume that Patrick had some trauma from his time spent enslaved. I mean, why on earth would he go back there?
But as the story goes, one night Patrick had a dream where he saw the people of Ireland asking him to tell them about God. So, he returned to the place of his captivity and served as a missionary; it is said that he taught the concept of the Holy Trinity using the shamrock and its three leaves. Patrick gathered many believers, and some manuscripts say he even performed miracles. In the end, he lived to a good old age. What was the date of his death, you may ask?
Silly question, fool. It was March 17th, of course, the day that St. Patrick’s Day is observed. Throughout the years, this day continued to be celebrated with feasts in
his honour, and eventually broadened into a celebration of Irish culture, especially among those who immigrated to the United States. Ah, yes, and I almost forgot. The reason for wearing green is that this colour symbolizes many things in Ireland, from its folklore to its patriotism, and even its nickname “The Emerald Isle”. Interestingly, the colour originally associated with St. Patrick was actually blue, but it changed to green as blue fell out of favour with the Irish during English rule.
In conclusion, this is but a short summary of the life of dear St. Patrick. I hope you enjoyed this light yet educational reading. I also hope I did his story justice, as the manuscript you have just read is the product of a fit of inspiration to write this down that overtook me in the wee hours of the night. Whether you celebrate St. Patrick’s Day or not, I hope the month of March is a blessed one, and you find your pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. <3
Sources: Biography of St Patrick, Bishop. (2011). https://www.roman-catholic-saints.com/st-patrick.html Encyclopedia Britannica. (n.d.). St. Patrick’s Day. Retrieved February 23, 2026, from https://www.britannica.com/topic/Saint-Patricks-Day Kiger, P. J. (2026, February 18). Why we wear green on St. Patrick’s Day | HISTORY. HISTORY. https://www.history.com/articles/why-we-weargreen-on-st-patricks-day
Nobody really knows what St. Patrick looked like, but I imagine he looked dope like this. Also created by ChatGPT.
Q: Where are you from, and why did you choose Burman?
A: Central Alberta. I just thought it would be an amazing experience. Everything about this school just seems… perfect. No, I am being honest. Since Burman is a smaller university, you get to know everyone on a more personal level, which makes the whole uni experience much more homey. It also means smaller classes, which allows you to truly know your professors.
Student Spotlight
Joshua Wiebe
Meet Joshua Wiebe! He’s a first-year Pre-Med student who is usu-
ally up and at ‘em by 5:00 AM. When he isn’t hitting the books, you’ll
likely find him out working on his golf swing or looking for a good
steak. If you see him around campus, make sure you say “Hi!”
Q: What is your major, and why did you decide on that?
A: Pre-med track, because I want to become a doctor someday.
Q: Who is someone who made an impact on you at Burman?
A: Orville, he’s my brother. I met him on the first day of school, and we’ve been best friends ever
since. He’s a great guy, shoutout to Orville.
Q: Where is your go-to study spot on campus?
A: Either my bedroom or the library. I’m just trying to get as far away from distractions, and I like the lights, because they force me to concentrate.
Q: Are you looking for love here at Burman, or are you already taken?
A: Orville has already taken my heart… No, I’m just kidding. I’m just living it day by day tbh. I’m focusing on studies, and if something happens, then I’m open to it.
Q: What is your biggest turn-off?
A: I HATE zodiac signs, they’re awful, get rid of them right now. The deal breaker for me is if she
actually believes in it, cause then it shows… stupidity and immaturity.
Q: What’s your biggest “Hot Take”?
A: I think cereal has to be eaten with milk. And I’m talking about milk coming from a cow. You can’t do anything else; it can’t be dry. No vegan or soy milk; it’s just not the same.
Q: Are you a morning person or a night owl?
A: Morning person, like 5 am morning person, and I go to bed at 9 pm. I’m also working toward making sure I live the healthiest life I possibly can, taking care of my body, and I try to go to the gym all the time.
Q: What’s something you buy all the time from the caf?
A: Protein shakes, I buy like 6 a day. Like 6 or 7… If the caf could make me whatever meal I wanted and it wasn’t vegetarian, I would love me some steak. Steak would be awesome. Steak is my favourite food.
Q: What is one thing on your bucket list before you graduate?
A: I want to spend an entire week in the mountains, and just be on my own. No service, no nothing, just me and my thoughts.
Q: What’s the biggest lesson you’ve learned since starting university, and what’s something you would say to your high school self?
A: Even if you have rough moments in life, it doesn’t mean it’s game over; you can always come back. If I could go back and talk to my high school self, I’d say: Make sure you have a healthy balance of personal life and school life. It isn’t all about one or the other; it’s both of them together.
Q: If you won the lottery tomorrow, what is the first thing you’d buy?
A: I would probably still finish university, then I would do whatever I could to help people. Then with the rest, I’d just buy a little cabin on the lake, and I’ll basically just retire there. I’d always invite friends over, and then we could just talk.
SPEED ROUND!
Q: Favourite Show:
A: The Office, it’s just so funny.
Q: Favourite Colour:
A: Blue. The sky, nature... it reflects my personality.
Q: Dream Travel Destination:
A: Australia. I love the spiders. No, I’m kidding. I just think it looks beautiful. I’d love to do a semester there.
Q: Best Province:
A: B.C. (Alberta is home, but B.C. is the best one).
Q: Secret Passion:
A: I like quantum physics. I study it in my free time.
Q: Best Advice:
A: “It’s not about how hard you work, it’s about how consistent you are.”
Q: Dad Joke:
A: Why did the golfer bring an extra pair of pants? In case he got a hole in one.
Q: Favourite Brainrot:
A: 6… yeah, you know the rest.
Interviewed by Melissa Enache
The Most DOWN BAD Adventist University in North America
Written by Thirsa Ward
There are many things that an SDA University is known for: theology departments, vegetarian cafeterias, vespers, and maybe a few other things… But there is one thing no brochure will tell you: Campuses are down bad. After speaking with students from across North America at our Adventist Universities, I conducted an analysis of the epidemic sometimes known as “ring by spring”.
Across North American Adventist campuses, students described a shared experience. You arrive for a degree, but somewhere between orientation and midterms, you realize you’re also navigating a relationship. Unlike non-Adventist universities, where dating is seen as casual and hookup culture dominates the statistics, Adventist campuses tend to operate on a slightly different timeline. People aren’t “talking”, they’re “praying about it”. It’s not a “situationship”; it’s “seeing where God leads.” And there’s nothing wrong with it, but it begs the question of why relationships tend to form much
faster at Adventist universities, and which Adventist University is “the most down bad”.
I believe part of the intensity comes from proximity, being that Adventist universities are often much smaller or concentrated. It can be expected that when the same people are in a classroom of 8, see each other every day at the caf, and study
“42% of college students reported meeting their most recent significant partner on campus” (Eser, 2026)
together, relationships will form and also become public knowledge almost instantly. Talking to Arianna, a first-year student at Burman who is currently dating, she says she met her now-boyfriend at CHCS in 4th grade, then later reconnected at CUE Quest. Both these things add to the idea of proximity. She says, “I noticed him again during the Burman program tour, and we officially re-met during CUE quest. We started dating on October 3rd!...” CUE Quest began on August 25. When asked whether CUE Quest created an atmosphere for finding someone quickly, she said it really helped her put herself out there and gave her an excuse to hang out with her now boyfriend. She did recommend, though, that new students use CUE Quest for finding friends rather than partners. She said she didn’t expect to get into a relationship during her first year of university, expressing how she told herself she would wait a minimum of a year before even considering a relationship because she wanted to wait until she had settled in [to university].
Freshman year, they swear they’re “just here for school”, sophomores claim they’re “just friends,” juniors are suddenly in long-term relationships, and by senior year, there are wedding invitations being sent out. According to a Zipdo study on college dating statistics published
in February of 2026, “42% of college students reported meeting their most recent significant partner on campus” (Eser, 2026), so maybe they’re on to something.
Pacific Union College
Maybe it’s the wine air in Napa that speeds up relationships, but one student from PUC expressed the “romantic energy” of their campus. When talking to one woman who isn’t in a relationship at PUC, she expressed that relationships form in the first or second quarter (which is probably around Christmas time / after). She said people comment on relationships/people hanging out together, and you see them together often in places where both genders are allowed. She expressed how single-sex dorms make a separation, which makes it harder to spend more time together, noting that, spiritually, it might be better.
Agreeing with her was a gentleman also from PUC, but in a relationship. He said that being single is normal, but not necessarily the standard. He also said that rumours start up immediately when two people are seen together more than once, and that the toxic, cliquey atmosphere makes it harder to date in a healthy way. He also expressed how the dorms being far away (driving distance) from each other makes there be a disconnect
as you’re not able to see where the other person lives (a problem that our co-ed dorms at Burman don’t have, which adds to my final scores of which school is the most down bad).
La Sierra University
At La Sierra, these ideas are enforced even more. The person that I interviewed said that being single is normal, but not a common occurrence. She expressed that pretty soon into the semester, especially at the beginning, freshmen start branching out, and couples are already popping up. She said that the social atmosphere “sucks”, since everyone is involved in each other’s issues and relationships, making it simple to date, but hard to stay consistent. And if you ever find yourself at La Sierra looking for a romantic partner, check out the Eagles Nest Lounge, a known “romantic spot” for students.
Andrew’s University
I also reached out to Andrew’s University’s Student Association for a comment on their “social app” (Fizzandrews), but did not receive a response in time for this article. But let it be known that some Adventist Schools are doing the most to get out there socially.
asked them to rate their school’s dating culture on a scale of 1 to 10. Most placed it on the higher end of the scale, with ratings around 6-8. From my research, I can tell that Adventist universities are definitely at a different pace. However, I’ve only personally experienced Burman’s dating atmosphere. From personal experience of meeting my boyfriend my first year of university, and being a front desk worker and seeing more PDA than any person in their entire life should be subjected to (because our dorms are co-ed, as before pointed out), I am of course persuaded to say Burman is the most “down bad” campus (unfortunately, but maybe if you’re looking for a spouse it’s a good thing?). However, perhaps your interpretation of this article will lead you to a different conclusion.
To be clear, every Adventist University is filled with thoughtful, ambitious, spiritually grounded students. They all just happen to be mostly 18-23-year-olds. And historically speaking, that demographic has always been a little “down bad”.
Of everyone I interviewed, I
...might be us?
Burman struggle meals
Written by Renee Hall
It is no surprise that the cafeteria can be… underwhelming; taking a lot of our favourite meals and trying their best to make them for the masses (and in most cases, failing). Instead of cursing the cooks in the kitchen, how about we take on the challenge of using the meals to our advantage and making our own creations in the comfort of our own rooms. Now, before you go on to argue with me, most of us have fridges, microwaves or even air fryers. And even if you don’t have one, I’m sure your friend does, or maybe look into using and CLEANING the dorm kitchen. Anywho, here are some ideas to get your brain gears started:
Caf Meal: BBQ chicken wings, celery, carrots and fries.
What you can make: BBQ chicken caesar salad/ BBQ chicken bagel with a side of fries/ BBQ chicken ramen bowl. Every one of these meals consists of the same ingredients, all of which are available from the cafeteria or from a couple of grocery items you have.
ingredients:
(From the salad bar):
- Lettuce
- Eggs
- Croutons
- Caesar dressing
- Any toppings you would like for a salad, bagel, or ramen. (Onions, chives, olives, etc…)
(From the main meal area):
- BBQ chicken wings: as many as your heart desires.
- Carrots
- Ramen
- Bagel of your choice
- Chips (Sun chips, Miss Vickies)
- Cream cheese packets
- Mayo packets
I strongly recommend you grab some seasonings to take with you to your room, even if that means using the little ketchup cups to transport them and of course, CUTLERY.
BBq ChiCken Caesar salad
1. Using your lettuce base, add all your extra toppings on top. Add in your onions, olives, and tomatoes (big no for me personally).
2. Chop up your carrots, celery and BBQ chicken wings into smaller pieces.
3. Dress up your salad with some Caesar dressing, a sprinkle of salt and pepper, and a sprinkle of croutons.
4. There you go, a BBQ Chicken Caesar Salad.
agel with a side of fries/Chips
1. Warm/toast your bagel. (Pro tip: if you own an air fryer, put the cream cheese on the bagel before putting it in the air fryer.)
2. Cut your chicken into slices.
3. Add lettuce to your now-warm, toasty bagel, onions if you prefer, and everything else in between.
4. Add your chicken slices.
5. Close up your bagel, plate it and add your side of fries or chips! (Or if you really want, a side salad.)
BBq Chi
1. Everyone should know how to make Ramen by now; in fact, every one has their own way of making it.
2. Once your ramen has been made, slice up and add your chicken strips to the bowl.
3. Add in your seasonings and a boiled egg or two (no one will know).
4. Sprinkle on some spring onion and sesame seeds if you have them.
5. Done.
Insights and Reflections of a Burman Alum
What was your go-to study spot or hangout on campus?
Dustin Bruce
Dustin Bruce
Director of Operations
Teresa’s Favourite
Cousin
Burman BSc Biology
What inspired you to study biology at Burman University, and how did that experience shape your initial career goals?
I originally wanted a career as a medical professional, so a biology degree seemed like the logical path, much like many of my older friends who pursued medicine. Honestly, biology wasn’t an obvious choice for me, nor was it a deep passion. The decision stemmed from a lack of direction and clarity about what I truly wanted. That said, the degree taught me invaluable skills and gave me the academic foundation to pursue other paths. In hindsight, taking a degree unrelated to my ultimate career reassured me of my true passion: understanding how things work and solving complex problems. There are no wrong paths; some just find differently than others. I started in biology, earned a master’s in aerospace engineering, and now work in the energy industry. Life is full of possibilities.
The Science Building. I know this might sound like a cop-out, but I truly spent almost all my time there. The exact spot varied depending on the day, but through various connections (people with keys, who will remain nameless), I could access any room at any time. I had a strong preference for that quirky research room on the first floor. With its high benches, fume hood, and growing plants, it truly embodied a “studious environment.”
I know it’s been a while, but can you share one highlight/memory from your time at Burman?
My university years were some of the greatest of my life, so there are many to choose from. If I had to pick just one, it would be the time I attempted to summit Mount Cline (near Abraham Lake) in the dead of winter. What seemed like a smart plan turned into a real test of mental and physical endurance. The short version: Don’t plan to climb a mountain in a meter of snow without snowshoes… Suffice it to say, I didn’t make it to the top, but what an experience!
What motivated your transition from biology into engineering, and what challenges did you face making that shift?
Soon after graduating, I realized I didn’t want to pursue a career in the medical field. While I enjoyed the content, I lacked the appetite for another 4+ years of biology-related courses with a heavy focus on memorization. My passion was (and still is) understanding how things work and solving complex problems. I was always an engineer at heart; I just didn’t recognize it right away. The biggest challenge was my lack of math skills, to put it mildly. I set out to earn an MEng in Aerospace with a biology background, so before any program would accept me, I had to grind through various graduate-level math and technical courses to strengthen my resume. Having taken no math courses in undergrad, I had to
self-teach most of it, which proved very difficult.
How long did it take you to feel settled in your career path after leaving Burman?
Probably longer than it should have… I didn’t fully settle into a defined career until about five years post-graduation. Since my final path didn’t match my original one, it took time to get comfortable. Initially, I felt very rushed to find my footing. In hindsight, I should have been more patient and trusted in the plan God had for me.
What’s a typical workday look like for you?
I work for an energy company, running one of the U.S. divisions as Director of Operations. I started my current career as an engineering analyst, but it quickly evolved into a business role. Unfortunately (or fortunately, depending on how you look at it), technical roles often morph into executive ones if you’re good at what you do. As I’ve progressed, my focus has shifted to managerial oversight and critical decision-making. Since my job is mostly remote, my day revolves around my meeting schedule. One of the best and worst aspects is the fluidity; each day follows the same general theme but unfolds differently based on priorities. A “typical” day centers on three main silos: personnel management, financial oversight, and customer relations. All of these roll up to the central goal of managing a profitable business that meets (and exceeds) customer expectations.
What skills do you think students should develop if they want to pursue careers at the intersection of science, engineering, and sustainability?
Communication and problem-solving are cornerstones of any career, but they’re especially critical in technical fields like engineering. Beyond those, students should build strong foundational technical skills, adaptability to emerging technologies, and an understanding of systems thinking (I.E software and AI). Also, don’t be afraid to ask questions. There is never a bad question, and genuine curiosity is the key to understanding how things work.
How have your priorities or definition of success changed since graduating?
The world often measures success by position, status, and material wealth. As a young man, I was captivated by money and worldly achievements. As I’ve matured in my career and my journey as a Christian, my definition has shifted dramatically. I now often think in these terms: “If God is real and the advent of Christ is coming, what greater success is there than getting to heaven and bringing others with me?” I try not to think in worldly terms but in light of the ultimate plan God has laid out for us. It’s easy to get caught up in the things of this world, but I try to remind myself of the bigger picture and the true nature of our journey on Earth.
What habits or values from your time at Burman have stayed with you in your professional life?
Integrity and ethical decision-making stand out most strongly. There’s great benefit in attending a Christian university like Burman where the underlying theme is rooted in Christian values and what it means to live and lead with principles grounded in biblical truth. These values (especially integrity, transparency, and honesty) have become key to my daily life and how I approach my career.
If you could go back and talk to yourself on graduation day, what would you say?
Don’t focus on things outside your control. Work hard, trust in God’s plan and everything else will fall into place, one way or another.
Thank you Dustin for taking the time to share some of your insights about your time at Burman and how that helped shape you into the man you are today!
P.S. - You’re welcome for having such a phenomenal cousin to be interviewed by :)
Interviewed by Teresa Bruce
Spring Outfit Inspo
Written by Bronwyn Christison
Enough baggy pants! I know, I know, this one I shed a slight tear on. You know the ultra, exceedingly, oh-so family size, like you can fit two and a half legs in one pant hole, or looks as if you could have donated 50% of that fabric to a homeless person and still not worry about going na ked because you definitely would have excess pant leg left over… you get my point..baggy pants. Yes, they are comfier than the 2014 skinny jeans, but the baggy pants had their time to shine, and now their time has gone.
Want to freshen up your wardrobe this spring? Go for something more tailored and fitted, or wide-leg silhouettes. Throw in a little mid-to-low rise action (no, I do NOT wish to see your cheeks…MALE gender), but these slight changes will definitely freshen and elevate your 2026 style, adding an effortlessly clean look.
2016 epidemic is coming back?! Let’s talk about this! Whether 2016 was your year or not, best believe that those 2016 photos of you are resurging a decade later if they haven’t yet! Along with these past relics of yourself, big bags, millennial pink items, ballet shoes, pointy ankle boots, bomber jackets, skinny scarves, and wired headphones are coming back. Personally, I hope the skinny jeans, side parts, and space buns are left in our 2016 camera roll!
Uniqlo Pleated Wide Pants in 69 Navy, $59.90
Old Navy Mid-Rise Wow Baggy Wide-Leg Jeans in Light Dip, $21.49
Free People Easy Does It Vegan Boots in Black, $203.11
Ebay Kari The Daphne White Purse, $94.69
Zara Fringed Bomber Jacker in Lilac, $109
Silk/tiny scarves (mixing textures is key)
Cider Bowknot Decor Square Toe Ballet Mary
Salomon XT-6 GORE-TEX in Silver Cloud/ Black, $250
Solomon XT-6 sneakers are BIG this year, a great shoe staple for this spring!
Meggings - This one I had never heard of before. Therefore, naturally, I had to learn what all the buzz was about. It is as it sounds. Men + leggings = meggings. It’s taken the internet by storm. Will it be here to stay? I doubt it, although I am sure it will make a resurgence again. But, if you are a guy who feels confident enough at the gym or hitting the streets to wear these, by all means, be my guest! No one except the price tag is stopping you!
Knits - It’s cool to make your clothes, people! Now is the time to finish that crochet project that has been sit ting in your closet for 14 months that you still haven’t finished. Now is the time to plead with your mother or grandmother for their knitted sweaters and rock it on campus! Plus, isn’t it so satisfying to make or wear a piece of clothing that is handmade with love?
Pastels - Bust out those pastels! It may be minus 10 and just have snowed again in the typical Alberta fashion we know all too well, but let it not stop us from manifesting cherry blossoms, blooming buds, and warmer days ahead!
Reminder:
The best spring fashion is constantly evolving, inspired by the people and things you love and different cultures and places. Remember to be a conscious consumer and that there are so many amazing thrift finds waiting for you! Happy spring, Burman.
Kapow Meggings
Berlin Faux Leather Meggings, $160
Polka dots and Bold Prints are in this Spring!
Zara Short Polka Dot Jumpsuit Dress in Ecru/Black, $160
Men’s Fashion Trends
V-Neck Sweaters
Braided Belts - adds more texture and dimension to an otherwise flat fit:
Boathouse Brown Braided Belt, $19.99
Workwear jackets - great for elevating everyday style and making a fit more utilitarian:
Quarter Zips
Ralph Lauren Estate-Rib Quarter-Zip Pullover in Cruise Navy, $198
Volleyball Season Opener
On February 13th, both the Men’s and Women’s volleyball teams hosted their very first home games of the season, welcoming rivals Millar Edge to an energized home crowd. The Burman Bobcats showed determination and heart, battling hard in every set.
The women’s game was first. The Bobcats fought fiercely in a tightly contested opening set, narrowly falling 26–24 after pushing Millar to the limit. Despite dropping the second set 25–16, Burman refused to back down. The Bobcats responded with incredible resilience in the third set, grinding out an exciting 25–23 victory thanks to strong teamwork and relentless defence. Although Millar claimed the fourth set 25–15 to secure the match, Burman’s effort and competitive spirit were clear throughout the game. This is clearly a team that came to play and play hard. Keani Bacalso earned Player of the Game for her powerful swings and clutch defensive saves that kept rallies alive.
Next up, the Men’s team took the court and delivered an equally passionate performance. After Millar captured the first set 25–16, the Bobcats bounced back in
Written by Justin Pandala
Top Row (L-R): Jorel McManes, Mackenzie Dubyna, Ava Ashworth, Marcelle De Bruin, Dakota Berger, Hesda Teckle, Faith Khamasi, Marianne Bersales.
Bottom Row (L-R): Keani Bacalso, Celeste Gareau, Missie Buelow, Maria Guzman, Kimberly Lange, Angela Bruce, Hayden Celebrado
Top Row (L-R): Hayden Clark, Bethel Abioye, Saihil Asere, Nolan Hunter, Jezreel Brown, Cooper Bell, Aaron Park.
Bottom Row (L-R): Bono Siago, Kenneth Servito, Jacob Gonzales, Kyle Bacalso, Ramiel Aranda, Daniel Kayumba, Martin Santomin
dramatic fashion. The second set became a thrilling battle, with Burman rising to the occasion and evening the match with a hardearned and well-deserved 25–23 win. The Bobcats continued to compete with intensity in the third set, though Millar edged ahead 25–19. The fourth set was the highlight of the night, featuring intense rallies and momentum swings as Burman pushed their opponents to the brink. Despite a valiant effort, Millar narrowly secured the set 27–25. Aaron Park was named Player of the Game for his dominant kills and excellent serve-receive passing that anchored the Bobcats’ offence.
Though the results did not fall in Burman’s favour, both teams demonstrated resilience, teamwork, and promise in front of their home fans, which is an exciting sign of what’s to come this season for the Burman Bobcats.
When Jezreel Brown, Men’s Captain, was asked, “Who is the other captain of the volleyball team?”, he replied with, “We only got one ‘cause we only need one. You can quote that by the way.”
When asked about the actual game, this is what he had to say: “It ended up being a loss, but we played well. We lost points mainly due to our own mistakes, and if we can clean that up, we could definitely come out on top. Last year, they destroyed us like every game, so it’s looking pretty hopeful for us this season. There’s definitely lots to improve on though, but that championship is definitely within our reach.”
“It is always exciting to play games on our home court in front of our fans. The games against Millar were no exception. Both the women’s and men’s teams played their hearts out for the fans, and though we came up short, it is early in the season, and we will be ready for them when we meet them again in a couple of weeks. I can’t emphasize enough how important it is for our fans to be there cheering us on, so I hope to see a full house this coming Sunday.” – Stacy Hunter, Men’s Assistant Coach
“Playing in the Miller game was a blast, super
Both teams brought their A-game, and the volleyball was just top-notch. Our girls really dug deep and fought hard until the very end. Even though we came up a little short this time, there are plenty more games on the horizon, and I’m sure a win is just around the corner. Beating a rival like that would be incredible, and with a few tweaks, I have no doubt we can come out on top in the future.” – Ava Ashworth, Women’s Captain
NEPOTISM & FAVOURITISM ON CAMPUS
Written by Teresa Bruce
Well, well, well. What do we have here? Perhaps
one of the most pressing matters on campus that no one dares address. It has been said that it's not about what you know, but rather whom you know. I wonder how much that applies to our campus? Let's explore it, shall we?
Over the past 4 years here, I have seen that nepotism and favouritism are at play both behind the scenes and blatantly front and center. Every facet of campus life (campus jobs, club positions, sports teams, volunteer and service opportunities, etc.) is not free from the grasp of favouritism. Now I can't be hypocritical; I must acknowledge that I have been both the benefactor and perpetrator of favouritism. So, as much as I can attest to favouritism creating an uneven playing field, I can't pretend it hasn't done wonders for me.
If you benefit from it: Congratulations!
You may feel like you have a cheat code towards securing all that you could ever want. On the flip side, you may experience intense bouts of imposter syndrome or feel like your merit does not carry the weight it should. I don't know about you, but I think after a while, I would feel guilty for taking the place of someone who may genuinely deserve the role. Not to mention, it's also discouraging to feel like your accomplishments have been swept under the rug.
If your life is ruined:
I'm so sorry, it must be rather frustrating to see the same handful of people in positions of leadership/everywhere on campus. You may feel exasperated for continually trying to break into the spheres you think you could contribute to. You may feel overlooked and underappreciated. Take the time to reflect on your experience, but then shake yourself back up and plan next steps. I promise that this is not your eternal fate. I'm not telling you to manufacture your personality or suck up to those in power, but there's nothing wrong with getting your name out there.
Burman is a small community in which merit may not hold the value it should. Everyone knows everyone, and circles can run tight. You may be tired of seeing the same group of extroverted people in all the positions you want (disclaimer: this is no hate to extroverts). So if you find yourself growing in resentment, I encourage you to look for ways to put yourself further out there. I choose to believe that everything happens for a reason and that, as painful as a "No" may be, it truly is a redirection. Regarding your Burman career, my advice would be to be personable, surround yourself with people who encourage you, and stay adamant in working towards your goals. LAST BUT NOT LEAST:
So with that in mind, try to make as many meaningful connections as you can! SPREAD YOUR WINGS AND FLYYY! Life is not fair, and to a certain degree, it does matter who you know.
RFreshman Fear to Senior Strength
Written by Thirsa Ward
eflecting on my 4 years of Burman, I like to think that I’ve grown a lot. From my first week of freshman year to my first week of senior year, they were drastically different. There are small and quiet realizations that hit you, and other things that you just don’t care about anymore. First year is all about making your mark and finding where you belong, and fourth year is all about what comes after.
You move in with bins labelled “winter clothes” and “bedding”, convinced that you’re prepared for whatever university has to offer. Your parents hover, and you insist you’ll be fine and roll your eyes at their persistent questions, even though you cry once they leave. The first week feels like a blur. You meet so many people at CUE Quest, you attend all your 8 ams, and you genuinely think that you’ll keep that same pace till senior year (you probably won’t, but A for effort). You get lost, not just in buildings (Northwest Hall and West Hall are two different buildings? And where is McKibbin???), but where you belong. Everything is new. New friends, new professors, new freedom, new environment. And yet, slowly you adjust. By the end of freshman year, you have your group of friends, you’re skipping those 8ams, and you know which professor doesn’t care if you’re late. You’ve grown, even if just in the slightest bit.
Then senior year arrives, and you realize that it’s your last first day of school ever. You’re living off campus, and you know where to go (McKibbin is the education building), where your friends will be (not in class, that’s for sure), and it surprises you with how normal it all is. You realize that somewhere in between four years, campus stopped feeling like a place that you visit, and instead became a place where you belong. You learn a lot in your four years of university, and maybe not all of it is academic. First year, you were so worried about what other people thought of you, but now you’re the one telling them not to worry; they just need to be themselves. Becoming someone new doesn’t mean losing who you are, it just means you’re growing, and you know that if First Year you could see Fourth Year you, they would be proud.
It hits you like a train that this will be the last time that you live 5 minutes away from all your friends. No more 2 am ramen meals, or Dairy Queen runs in the -40 degree weather (you finally learned to understand Celsius now, too!). You slowly realize that soon, you’ll have to exist in someplace other than the Burman Bubble. It’s a quiet realization that leaving doesn’t erase what happened here, and you realize that in four years, Lacombe has become home.
Thirsa (left) and Emma (right) during their freshman year (2022).
Good News Column
Written by Martin Santomin
We all need good news, I know that I definitely need some. So many crazy things are happening right now, like everything is being bombed or manipulated, or like your friends are being weird. I don’t know, so many bad things seem to be happening lately, and it might just be me, not sure. But here is some good news that has happened in the big 2026!!!
Toy Story 5 is announced to be coming out in 2026
Let’s goooooo, Woody and the boys are back.
From 10% to 47%: Cardiac Survival Rates Surge in Texas City That’s Empowering Citizens
Guys, if you ever get a heart attack, make sure it’s in Texas; it’s a 50/50 coin toss now, let’s go.
we should take our dreams more seriously. Maybe I should buy those $600 dollar jeans……
Californian Nonprofit Buys 6,100-acres of Sacred Land, Ending 10-Year Battle Over Proposed Sand Mine
They were about to turn this piece of land in Cali into a sand mine. Now it’s home to so many trees. Guys, more oxygen for us. Let’s hope it travels to Lacombe.
Korean Scientists reversed cancer
They successfully turned a mutated cell into a normal one. I mean, shout out to Koreans, let’s go. Paradise? Kyeonji? Seeui? Aaron? Shawn? Can we get a cure for that insane Burman February sickness? How do we get the ball rolling?
Man’s Dream About Having Heart Attack Leads to Real-Life Diagnosis and Life-Saving Surgery
The guy’s name is Jeremy Schwartz, and he had this dream that he had a heart attack climbing a mountain, and when he woke up, he went to find a cardiologist, and they told them he needed heart surgery. Wow. wow wow wow wow. Maybe
Dean Pretha, Rhi-Onna & Samara represented Burman University singing the National Anthem at the Alberta Legislative Assembly
You guys NEED to hear that, it was absolutely beautiful. I melted when I heard the recording. I wonder what would happen if I listened to it live. Maybe I would have exploded.
Link to watch: https://www.youtube.com/live/ h0LxZ8DWghI
Source: https://www.goodnewsnetwork.org
Paid Parking, Poor Priorities
Addressing the concerns of student parking
Every year, students at Burman University pay thousands of dollars in tuition, fees, and additional costs to get an education. For students who commute to school, that financial burden increases with the purchase of a parking pass. Parking is not optional for many students; many students don’t live in the dorms, and with Lacombe not having any public transporta tion, there is no other way to get to school than with a car. For those stu dents, driving to campus is not a convenience or a perk; it’s a necessity.
puddles or gravel that slowly ruins our cars. Snow removal in this area is also inconsistent, which raises safety concerns, particularly when it’s dark outside (which is almost always in the winter).
There is one main commuter parking lot on campus: the Science building. This parking lot is a significant distance from the main buildings and is not even paved. Do you realize that the science building is paved only for where the professors park, then as soon as it gets to where students park, nada. Not even a foot of asphalt there. Just slippery ice,
like gas and maintaining my vehicle while being a full-time student. Not having a place to park makes that so much harder for me. I just wonder why more consideration is put toward the paid employee rather than the paying client? I feel like I pay enough as it is for my education, and for my commuting.” Another student emphasized this point, say-
ing, “We pay tuition already, professors get paid to come here and make more money. Why are we the ones having to pay for poor parking, while they get paid to park in the close, and nicely paved spots? It’s not a jab at them, but it doesn’t make sense why we [students] who pay to come to campus shouldn’t get the
This conversation is not meant to attack campus security, but rather a call for alignment between cost and quality. If students are required to pay for parking, there should be an implied agreement that the service provided will meet reasonable standards for safety. At the moment, most commuter students question whether that standard is being met.
Perhaps the most striking imbalance is the contrast between who pays and who parks the closest. Faculty and
staff who receive salaries from Burman are typically provided with paved and well-maintained parking lots. Students, on the other hand, who pay thousands of dollars must also purchase a parking pass, only to be forced to park in these unsafe and distant lots. The issue here is not whether professors deserve accessible parking, but it is whether the current structure reflects equitable priorities. When those paid by the university receive the most convenient infrastructure, while those who are financially sustaining it are required to pay extra for lower-quality options, it sends a message about whose time and comfort are valued most.
out) or our parking pass fee go? It doesn’t go toward improving the student parking lot, so where is our money going? I would also like to point out before anyone else mentions it, that while I understand part of that fee may go to electricity for plugging in your car during winter (if you’re in the dorms, and even then you pay a higher fee for that), commuters once again, don’t
mobility challenges (like injury from sports so they can’t get a handicap pass - which, by the way, we have less than 5 spots for on campus, and none at the dorms, but that’s a whole different issue), and long, poorly lit walks in winter conditions raise legitimate safety concerns, especially since the woods by the science building are open to the public.
get that option when parking behind the science centre, so I know the money isn’t going towards that.
This leads me into my next point: where does the money that comes in from parking tickets (because I know there are a lot of those being passed
These concerns aren’t about entitlement or luxury, but about safety, accessibility, and fairness. Unpaved lots can create barriers for students with
After all, if parking enforcement suddenly stopped, what would campus security redirect all its time towards?
The question may sound pointed, but it speaks to a broader concern about our institution’s priorities. Are we prioritizing giving students tickets, or are we prioritizing their safety?
Students without a parking pass can park in lots H, J, and K, and students with a parking pass can also park in lots D and O. Notice how all of the student parking lots are located on the outskirts of campus.
Consumerism On Campus
Written by Briana Perrone
From what I’ve been hearing, there has been an overabundance of packages at Lakeview. Large packages, small packages, long packages, short packages, all types have been making an appearance. Seeing the boxes strewn around the mailroom made me think… what is really hidden inside these cardboard chests of treasure? I don’t know, I feel like you all would just say, “Oh, it’s AirPods, or school supplies, or more clothes that I’ll never end up wearing.” Whatever the youth are into today, I guess. But honestly? My intuition tells me something is up. I think what y’all are really buying is something else entirely. For instance, I know some of you freaks are definitely ordering this charming, whimsical, banana-shaped duck sculpture (#notsponsored). I just can’t prove it yet.
Or for the sad, lonely singles out there, how do I know this item isn’t in your purchase history?
Seeing these items in my Amazon recommendations (wait, what does this say about me?) sparked my curiosity, and I started hunting for wacky things to buy. It is insane how much stuff is out there.
For the men on campus, might I interest you in a 3D printed muscle tee?
Who needs the gym, really? Like this does all the work. Plus, you can basically be shirtless while wearing a shirt! Loophole of the century. Not sure if Amazon has fully diversified their skin tone selection, though.
Furthermore, in the case of an unfortunate leak, instant underpants could save the day. All you need to do is add water, and this circular cloth becomes a perfect pair of… wet underwear? Yeah, not sure how that part works.
In all seriousness, I do believe society is plunging deeper and deeper into consumerist culture, and I don’t know if that is necessarily a good thing. From what I’ve seen, social media is drowning in it: reels show influencers packaging every single item in their pantry, collecting huge amounts of clothes as trends come and go, and receiving large PR packages filled to the brim. I myself understand the appeal to an extent.
Personally, I see a LEGO set I like, and I buy it. But isn’t it just a bunch of plastic? Do we need half of these things? Not to mention the environmental impacts. I think it is important to find a balance; be grateful for the financial means we have, but also to find ways to minimize our spending, reuse/recycle items, and give to others. While complete minimalism might not be necessary, making small changes can help us avoid getting caught up in material things and appreciate the things in life that truly matter instead.
BURMAN’S EFFECT ON LACOMBE
Written by Teresa Bruce
What would our dearest Lacombe look like if Burman were not to be here? How has our small campus shaped this town? I was curious about the matter and wanted to dig up what Burman's effect is on Lacombe.
1909
ORIGINS OF BURMAN
Our dear University first took its roots upon the Lacombe hilltop in 1909. At that time, Lacombe was but a small town with around 700-100 residents. Much has changed over the past 117 years, including name changes to what is now called Burman University and immense growth for both Lacombe and the campus.
Burman University boasts a diverse student population (apparently, we represent over 37 countries). Burman University, an accredited institution offering degree, diploma, and certificate programs, certainly puts Lacombe on the map for prospective students. I think many of us can say that if it weren't for Burman, we would have no idea about Lacombe. This is especially true for all of us who aren't from Alberta. How in the world would we come to know of Lacombe? If nothing else, you could say Burman is a great advertisement for this city.
LACOMBE AS A CITY
In 2010, Lacombe gained city status, and as of 2025, the City of Lacombe's population is approximately 14,733. The Burman community is not an isolated people, and we indeed reach out into Lacombe. Lacombe is our immediate playground, and I hope our impact has been more positive than negative.
A photo of the Corner Business Block in 1913. Sourced from the The Provincial Archives of Alberta
Although I have no data to back up this next claim, I do have eyes, so bear with me when I share that Burman POWERS local fast food businesses such as McDonald's, Domino's, and Starbucks. The sheer amount of food delivery (Skip the Dishes, Uber Eats, etc) that comes to the dorms is unbelievable. Honestly, it is giving nothing short of gluttony.
But this desperate grasp to satiate our taste buds is almost poetic. Despite our differences in nationality, socioeconomic status, or course of study, Burman students are united in their desire to support the Lacombe business. So honestly, order that next overpriced matcha or happy meal guilt-free because you, my dear friend, are doing a service to Lacombe.
Lacombe is a growing community, and I hope that Burman can grow alongside it. There are certainly people in Lacombe who are unaware of Burman, just as there are Burmanities who skip exploring Lacombe for more bustling cities. But if we tried to be more intentional about exploring this small but happening place, we could start to appreciate it more.
Let's be kind to Lacombe. Yes, I know it's easy to tease its small size and early closing time, but for the time you call Burman home, you are inadvertently calling Lacombe home. So why not make it a sweet home? Get acquainted with the other Lacombe businesses (not just McDonald's), check out the cute library, and involve yourself in the community if you can!
Lastly, let us represent Burman well! Please don't give Lacombe residents a reason to think we are odd and immature. Make our founders, Charles and Leona Burman, proud of the establishment they worked so hard to create!
BURMAN X LACOMBE FOREVER
Source: The Canadian Encyclopedia. “Lacombe.” The Canadian Encyclopedia, Historica Canada, https://www.thecanadianencyclopedia.ca/en/article/lacombe. Accessed 1 Mar. 2026.
See you next month!
Picture taken by Elena Quiyono Kolokolova