COLLECTORS/GEEKS SPECIAL EDITION
PEE WATERMELON & THE SHIT FACTORY SHIT
face cream
Celebrity Endorsement
“SHIT, it’s right up my street” FIND OUT WHICH CELEBRITY USES SHIT THE PEE WATERMELON CRONICLES EXTRACTED FROM CHULT
SE
G STANDARD TTIN S
A.S.F.W. APPROVED
JOIN US INSIDE FOR OUR NEW PRODUCT LAUNCH STORY 1#
All content the property of CHULT EMcreativeMedia c
JUST WHAT DOES PEE KEEP IN THAT BOTTOM DRAW?
E R O S N E C
D
1 . No
NEW T DUC PRO CH N LAU
Britains
manufacturer
It seems from this glossy mag we’ve been missing out on a fortune...
of shit
WE’RE GOING INTO THE BEAUTY BUSINESS
START PRODUCTION ON THE SHIT FACE CREAM
? Yes Sir, would that be age defying, youth preserving, anti-rinkle or anti-ageing, with SFP or antioxidant or...
IMMEDIATELY! Minutes later in the SHIT Marketing Department of the SHIT Factory
Shit face cream hugh!
What about: Lack of nutrients to your skin can cause upto 90% premature ageing. ONLY SHIT FACE CREAM contains a unique blend of natural deposits to nourish youth back in to ageing skin.
WHATEVER, GET THE MARKETING DEPARTMENT ON TO IT, NOW!
Sounds good!
Great, may be include some before and after picture too.
Before
After
Estimated
Results with Shit Face Cream Not forgetting some scientific sounding words & abbreviations, include - as tested by ASFW (who knows or cares that means A Shit Factory Worker). A BIUS must have product always sounds good too. (Buy If U Stupid..that is!).
Later the product is presented to Pee Watermelon
And finally celebrity endorsement, a famous face to smear shit all over their face will surely make sales rocket.
It seems the dude’s obsessed with lady chav mags.
Sir we have the product and the campaign ready for launch we just need your approval.
Sure, but first. Do u remember the 1st time u made love to a woman with short hair?
No, I’m sorry sir I don’t recall.
Hmm no eh. OK let’s see what you got!
BUT WAIT A MINUTE WHAT’S THIS?
Girls, since I discovered SHIT face cream I feel and look amazing.
Now that’s what I call good shit!
You too deserve SHIT
Chezza’s secret is SHIT Kirsty Allstrop! Sir?
Sir it’s the advertising campaign, celebrity endorsement.
Pee opens his bottom drawer to access his collection of ’meat’ mags
I can see that! Replace her with Kirsty Allstrop!
You heard what I said, now close the door on your way out!
SHHLLUURRP! Imagine that!! Kirsty Allstrop smearing MY Shit all over her lovely face!
Yeah baby! ?~# I
meat magazine
E V I S U L EXCinterview Pig Pork
Kirsty Allstrop
“Finding the right house is easier than finding the right face cream. Finally I found SHIT, a product that’s right up my street.” Kirsty Allstrop * ANTI RINKLE * BEAUTIFYING * MOISTURISING * ANTI UNCLE * PRO GENERATING * ANTI EVAPORATING * PRO EXCEL RENEWAL SE
SHIT
G STANDARD TTIN S
.S.F.W. A y b d e approv d n a d Teste A.S.F.W. APPROVED
AA B.I.U.S B.I.U.S.must musthave have product product
..THE STORY CONTINUES
SOON THE PRODUCT IS AVAILABLE IN STORES
SHIT SHIFTERS Got some shit you want to shift
? Creative & Strategic Advertising Professionals. Who get
RESULTS advertising@chult.co.uk
OMG they’ve got SHIT face cream. Jen was right it’s totally awesome.
£200! What the Hell, I’ve got my credit card!
And we’re worth it babe! And I’ve got to get it before Katy does, she’ll be so jealous..
A month later in The SHIT Factory Office
SHIT It’s right up my street
Good, that was quick.. What’s wrong with your face?
SOMEONE GET ME THE SALES FIGURES FOR THE SHIT FACE CREAM
Geez don’t laugh, I need this job, I got kids to feed!
I’ts a nice face!
My face Sir!
Enough of your face.. What do you think of mine?
Sales for SHIT face cream
MONTH 1 Credit card sales Debit card sales Cash sales Online sales Stolen
THE GOATIE, I’M TALKING ABOUT THE GOATIE BEARD! It’s right up
According to statistics in this magazine 7 out of 10 women believe facial hair on a man makes them better lovers.... Ok let’s see the sales report.
These sales figures are incredible what sort of people buy this SHIT Stupid people Sir.
It’s right up
Each square = 1 million
So it seems, I think I just read an article on such a person, a woman called Cheshire Wife who’s only ambition is to get into Cheshire Life Magazine.
SUMMARY
Total 14 million pots of SHIT face cream shifted in 1 month to stupid persons.
WEEK 1 WEEK 2 WEEK 3 WEEK 4
EM
Consumer profile
80% purchased by a stupid person 10% purchased for a stupid person by the stupid persons partner (which makes them stupid also) 10% purchased by mistake (which makes them stupider)
Right, get everyone together success = CELEBRATIONS!!
chult.co.uk
You have been viewing PEE WATERMELON & THE SHIT FACTORY (exert from CHULT)
writtten & illustrated by E. Matthews
enquiries@chult.co.uk