ELOQUENT SUMMER 2019 VOL11

SUMMER 2019 VOL. 11

MODERN IN A DIGITAL AGE DIARY OF A SURVIVOR: My Diagnosis is… Beautiful!

AFRICANFUSION STYLE ECO-CONSCIOUS SKINCARE

Rebecca Cahua

DESIGNING FOR A DIFFERENCE

TOMFOOLERY tomfoolery.la

IN THIS ISSUE

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Designing a Difference: Rebecca Cahua

by NICOLE LUC HACO From humble beginnings to a thriving business in San Francisco, Rebecca Cahua is living the dream!

Read how she turned her passion into a purpose.

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Diary of a Survivor: My Diagnosis is Beautiful! on the C O V E R

by B A ILEY C L A RK

Rebecca Cahua wearing The Misfit Jumpsuit in white from tomfoolery.la.

One women’s struggle with alopecia areata becomes a lesson in resilience and self-love.

Pg.

S T Y L E BY

Tomfoolery.la P H OTO G R A P H Y BY

Anastasia Sierra

Regarding Etiquette: Modern Day Manners in a Digital Age

by NAOMIE MHINA Civility may be on life support, but good manners live on!

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The True Story: Nicole Voelkel

on S T Y L E

by NICOLE LUC HACO Fashion with a purpose. This designer and founder of the brand True Story is uplifting communities and giving women all over the world a new story in spite of their difficult backgrounds.

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African Fusion

by A MB E R A A RON How to infuse those African-inspired pieces into your everyday wardrobe!

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Meghan Markle: Fashion Moments on B E AU T Y

by LIB I E R R E Y NOLDS

As the world celebrates the arrival of the royal baby, we’re celebrating the duchess’ past style from casual floral to royal baby bump and how you can get the look!

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Bold and Beautiful Summer Pg. 3 6

Eco-conscious Skincare Pg. 1 0

Bag Haven

by A MBER A A RO N

B E AU T Y

Bold and Beautiful

Sum�er

A dash of striking color and fuller brows are trending the runways these days to help capture our natural radiance! Here’s a list of our top eco-friendly products to usher in the summer sun! We recommend experimenting with peachy tones and bright hues, like a luxe red.

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JUVIA’S PLACE // SAHARAN II PALETTE ▶ Inspired by the rich culture and heritage of Africa, Nigerian-born Chichi Eburu created Juvia’s Place cosmetics in celebration of her country.

Representing the colors of Morocco, the vegan Saharan II Palate embodies empowerment. With an array of long-lasting matte and shimmer shades, you will have plenty to experiment all summer! juviasplace.com

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MISCHO BEAUTY // BACKSTAGE BEAUTY POLISH ▶ Free from the top 10 toxic chemicals found in your everyday nail polishes, Mischo Beauty polishes are ecofriendly and built to last. With the minimalist look making waves this summer, their Backstage Beauty Polish is the perfect choice! juviasplace.com

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KOSÅS // PHOENIX LIPSTICK ▶ Kosås aims to strike the center between extreme nourishment and supreme luxury when choosing their eco-friendly ingredients.

Their standout product is their Phoenix lipstick. Known for being ultra-hydrating and rich in pigmentation, this lipstick is a summer must-have!

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kosas.com

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RMS // LIP2CHEEK in PARADISE ▶ RMS is known for elevating any look with their dewy, long-lasting, and organic products. This Lip2Cheek multi-tasking lipstick and blush, in Paradise, provides the perfect balance between fresh-faced and fearless. Keep it light, or layer it up in the evenings for more umph! rmsbeauty.com

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LAWS OF NATURE® COSMETICS // FOXY FINISH CREME FOUNDATION ▶ Jasmine Rose founded Laws of Nature® Cosmetics with the intention to ensure that women of color had a natural, organic, and sustainable way to celebrate their skin! Whether bare-faced and glowing or experimenting with more powerful looks, the Foxy Finish Mineral Creme Foundation provides the perfect base for this summer’s trends! lawsofnaturecosmetics.com ÉL O Q U E NT 7

am so proud to include in this issue two young pioneers in the fashion industry who are making an impact both locally and abroad. You’ll be touched by stories, such as Founder and Owner of the brand True Story Women’s Cooperative Nicole Voelkel, whose goal is to teach a new trade to women from difficult backgrounds and funnel profits back into their communities.

E D I T O R 'S N O T E

In one of her favorite moments, Voelkel recalls, “When we began our pilot [program], I came with huge suitcases full of beautiful silks, the very best laces. Many of these women had suffered terribly, been trafficked and abused…

They opened up suitcase after suitcase, and some of the ladies began weeping and saying, ‘these are too nice for us. Please don’t make us sew with these silks and this lace, it’s too good.

I’ve never touched something this beautiful before.’ It was so special to tell them, ‘no, this is for you. This is what we want to invite you to be a part of, we believe you can do it.’”

You can continue to support Voelkel’s efforts by going to mytruestory.net.

Rebecca Cahua started out as failing student and community organizer. Yet even now with a thriving business and presence in the fashion and entertainment world, Cahua continues her homeless outreaches in the City by the Bay. She credits her mother for instilling in her the passion for giving back.

When I met Bailey Clark in a restaurant and complimented her hair, I never realized she had struggled with her appearance for years due to a condition called alopecia araeta. We’re honored to share her story as reminder that beauty is in the eye of the beholder and true beauty comes from the strength we carry within.

Founder of Designing a Diffference (D.a.D.) Sewing House Rebecca Cahua

These ladies are the quintessence of beauty, style and grace, that's why we're naming them, "The ELOQUENT WOMAN."

Yours Truly,

Reyna Nichol Lee

R E Y N A N I C H O L L E E , Founder / Editor-in-Chief

SUMMER 2019 VOL. 11

E L O Q U E N TM AG .C O M

STYLE

BAG HAVEN B Y A MB E R AA RO N

Fanny packs are back and trending more than ever! Forget the retro sporty bag of the 80s, and consider designer bags for the waist—which are also being worn across the chest. Pair with angular glasses, feathered shoes and a pair of mom jeans for a throwback look that’s completely on point!

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G U N A S // ROT U N DA C RO S S B O DY $195 S I L E N T G O O D S // M I N I H A N D B AG $549 A N G E L A RO I // H A M I LTO N B E LT B AG - C RO S S B O DY $165 H F S CO L L E CT I O N // CO N V E RT I B L E WA L L E T $148 H F S CO L L E CT I O N // F R I N G E B E LT B AG $165 H F S // H A L F M O O N CO N V E RT I B L E C RO S S B O DY $208

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ÉL O Q U E NT 11

Meghan Markel CASUAL FLORAL TO ROYAL BABY BUMP

ROYAL

FASHIO N E DITOR: LI B I ER R EYN OLD S Her Royal Highness The Duchess of Sussex Meghan Markel has mesmerized us with her effortlessly chic style! We fall in love with her elegant outfits which send us running to emulate her iconic flair! No striving, rather truly embracing her authenticity. We followed closely as she transitioned from classic Meghan to maternal grace. And as the world celebrates the birth of the royal baby, we also praise her style from the past! Shop these finds to match her iconic looks, such as this floral Needle and Thread dress with nude heels form M. Gemi. Or go with bold, royal colors like this red Banana Republic coat and richly hued wrap dress. Tres Chic!

FLORAL THE BAG: ALLURED BUCKET $325 | shopbop.com

THE SHOE: RED SUEDE $298 | mgemi.com

THE DRESS: AMBER DRESS $348 | veronicabeard.com

THE COAT: ITALIAN MELTON CAR COAT $299 | bananarepublic.com

THE SHOE: THE ARCATA $348 | mgemi.com

THE DRESS: P.A.R.O.S.H FLARED SHIRT DRESS $509 | farfetch.com

P H OTO © A L P H A P R E S S

PETITE PANELED FIT AND FLARE $105 | bananarepublic.gap.com

GITANA SAPPHIRE DRESS

TIE-NECK DRESS

$695 | chiaraboni.com

$158 | jcrew.com

Try these other noteworthy NOTEWORTHY dresses for summer!

ELISSE TIGER LILY DRESS

PEONY DRESS

$895 | chiaraboni.com

$248 | jcrew.com

FAUX-WRAP DRESS $228 | jcrew.com ÉL O Q U E NT 13

Rebecca Cahua,

Desig

ning for a Difference F R O M FA I L I N G S T U D E N T T O B AY A R E A B O S S !

T H I S E N T R E P R E N E U R T U R N E D H E R PA S S I O N F O R COMMUNIT Y SE RVICE INTO A THRIVING BUSINESS .

PH OTO G R A PHY BY A NA S TA S IA S I E R R A TH E M I S FIT J U M P S U IT I N W H ITE BY TO M FO O LE RY

ÉL O Q U E NT 15

BY N I CO LE LU CHACO or Bay Area fashion designer Rebecca

pouring in through social media and gro-

Cahua, it’s become typical for opportunity

cery stores. Cahua leveraged her social me-

to thrust itself upon her — ready or not. It

dia savvy, sharing her vision everywhere

was no exception when Cahua was asked

she could. Two years after that first event,

to be a guest speaker at her alma mater,

the Oakland-based Golden State Warriors

San Francisco State University. Directly

made contact, and then it snowballed; Mar-

following her speech, the department chair

shawn Lynch, Citi Bank, and others began

approached Cahua and asked if she would

reaching out to partner with Cahua. She

teach a course on fashion merchandising.

described her time serving the homeless as

At 32, the young entrepreneur and designer

the inspiration that drove her to blend her

never imagined she would see so many of

passion with business.

her dreams come true.

With an emerging presence in the fash-

It all started five years before when a so-

ion industry and her homeless outreaches

cial media post caught her attention. In it, a

growing rapidly, Cahua worked tirelessly

resident New Yorker was preparing lunches

at her passion projects with little financial

with friends and distributing them to the

gain. Always the creative problem solver,

homeless. This random act of kindness

she knew further education held the key;

was inspirational to Cahua, and she began

within one month of entering her mas-

searching for similar programs in her own

ter’s degree program Cahua engineered

city of San Francisco. But to her surprise,

the idea of designing for a difference. And

there were no outreach programs of this

thus (D.a.D) Designing a Difference Sewing

nature established in her city, where 6,858

House was born – a business that could

people are homeless on any given night.

directly employ those she was serving and

With extensive experience organizing fash-

training throughout the various outreaches

ion shows and confident she could gather

and service projects she participated in.

a crowd for the cause, Cahua secured a

Constantly reminding herself of her origi-

nightclub for a Sunday morning event. She

nal purpose was what kept Cahua anchored

determinedly set the date before knowing

in the turbulent seas of managing multiple

where the food would come from. Miracu-

projects, mentoring youth, and empower-

lously, it all came together. The volunteers

ing the disadvantaged.

made 300 lunches and walked down Ellis

“If I had never handed out a lunch or

street dispersing the meals. Within 15 min-

organized that first event, I would never be

utes they were out of food.

here today,” said Cahua.

Hundreds of volunteers started arriving to the monthly events. Donations began

Her passion for community service was born from a lifetime of overcoming obsta-

cles. The second oldest of six children, she recounted growing up in very low income

creativity she had to go back to school.

“I saw it as, ‘Well, everybody thinks that I

communities and living through her moth-

am going to be nothing, so, what have I got

er’s numerous suicide attempts and severe

to lose?’” said Cahua.

depression. In elementary school, Cahua

In spite of her prior academic strug-

struggled to relate to the curriculum and

gles, she bravely re-entered the education

find interest in the subject matter, and her

system. To her surprise and delight, Cahua

grades and attitude reflected it. By high

found success in everything she applied

school, she was emotionally withdrawn and

herself to. Her creativity and determination

had completely given up on school.

found a niche in the fashion industry. In college, Cahua and a group of fellow classmates got the opportunity to tour Burber-

“I want people to know that circumstances and environments don't define you or your future.

Even if there aren't any examples around you to follow, you have the choice to define your future and become the first.”

–Rebecca Cahua

ry, Eileen Fisher, and several other fashion houses in New York. This was the moment she decided she was going to make it in the fashion industry — but in her own way.

“I wasn’t supposed to get anywhere according to everyone else,” said Cahua.

Today, as a young female in a highly competitive sphere, she is proud of the integrity and compassion with which she has built and managed her business. Crediting her mother, Cahua says that her roots deeply influenced the structure of her business and her passion for giving back to society.

She loves sharing her story with children that are struggling in school, reminding them of her humble beginnings.

"I want people to know that circum-

“Nobody really told me that I could ever

stances and environments don't define

be anything. I had a 0.5 GPA,” said Cahua.

you or your future. Even if there aren't

“I had a problem with authority, and by the

any examples around you to follow, you

time that I got to high school, I had con-

have the choice to define your future and

cluded that I was not going to be academi-

become the first,” said Cahua, “the first

cally successful.”

to take action [to redirect you] from the

Two years after taking a job at a local grocery store, Cahua — then 18 years old

path you have inherited and design your own future.”

— wondered if there would ever be more to life. After researching potential careers that didn’t require higher education and deciding that welding wasn’t her cup of tea, she realized that if she ever wanted to use her

For more information or to partner with Designing a Difference, go to www.dadsewinghouse.com

ÉL O Q U E NT 19

FA S H I O N

AFRO

FUSION STYLE B Y A M B E R A A RO N

Tradition meets modern reinvention when you add contemporary African-inspired pieces to your everyday wardrobe. We’ve compiled a list of must-haves for this season—be it an African print, kente dress or ornate head wrap, when investing in your wardrobe this summer, choose pieces that are colorful and bold. These items are intended to make a statement—so go ahead and mix it up!

LEMLEM net-a-porter.com

OLIVER BONAS oliverbonas.com

CO L D S H O U L D E R COT TO N G A U Z E M AX I D R E S S $435

T E XT U R E D D I S C & TA S S E L D RO P E A R R I N G S $32

B ROT H E R VELLIES brothervellies.com

U N I Q U E YO U uniqueyoujewelry.com M U LT I CO LO R E D A F R I CA N B I B S TAT E M E N T N E C K LAC E $15

S A H A RA PO M PO N B O OT $1200

A N I TA Q U A N S A H anitaquansahlondon.com P E N I B E A D E D C RY S TA L & A M U L E T E A R R I N G S $335

FIGUE net-a-porter.com EMBELLISHED PRINTED COT TO N W RA P D R E S S $525

T H E W RA P L I F E thewraplife.com COT TO N H E A D W RA P M M E R E DA N E $52

H U M A B LA N CO M A R I N A WOV E N L E AT H E R S L I D E S $310

ÉL O Q U E NT 21

THE

TRUE STORY: NICOLE VOELKEL

FASHION FOR FREEDOM

How this designer and founder of the brand True Story is aiding women from difficult backgrounds and bringing the profits back into their communities.

PH OTO BY MARY CH R I S STAN I SC IA FA S H I O N BY TRU E STO RY WO M E N ' S CO O PE R ATIVE M O D E LE D BY B O LO G NA PRO G R E S SO BA S K E TBALL TE AM

EW: W H E R E D O Y O U C U R R E N T LY C A L L H O M E ?

STAFF WR ITE R

BORN IN A REFUGEE CAMP in the Dominican Republic and raised on a ranch in Mexico, Nicole Voelkel grew up in a rural set-ting where her parents did development work. She attended a one-room schoolhouse where the kids would light a fire in the morning to keep warm. Always a creative, she taught herself to sew by making clothes for herself and her dolls. Raised in a Christian commune, she described her par-ents as artistic and creative idealists. “I loved my childhood! My parents were living a life full of purpose and big projects and raised us right in the middle of the adventure. They gave me a lot of freedom and permission to try out all my ideas for better or worse,” she said. At 9 years old, her family relocated to the United States where she experienced the culture shock that came with at-tending an affluent and conservative private school.

NV: Bologna, Italy. Italy is the number 1 entry point for women that are being trafficked, and many refugee groups entering Europe. People think of Italy as a dream vacation, but I think of it as a strategic location.

E W: H OW D I D TRU E STO RY COME ABOUT? NV: I was working in Masipumalele, South Africa with a group of refugee women, and was amazed by their creativity, hope, and resilience. These women were just desperately trying to get jobs for $ .50 an hour cleaning toilets, but were creating amazing embroidery and designs out of trash.

And at that moment I felt, that if I could do anything, I wished that I could give creative jobs to women, not just so that they could provide for their families, but so

While a student at the University of Chicago, Voelkel spent eight years sewing and designing cos-tumes for the Chicago circus and eventually lent her design skills to Hollywood films, creating all the costumes from scratch. One summer while volunteering in a refugee camp in South Africa, she began to dream of using her skills to provide creative jobs for women with limited opportunities. Doors began to open for her. Wellestablished designer Nancy Vu was an early mentor for her. Vu requested Voelkel's help for a film, which eventually led to a stint at New York Fashion Week. Now the founder of the visionary brand True Story, Voelkel trains and employs women from frag-ile backgrounds.

She works with nonprofits to produce one-of-a-kind collections and donates the remnants of their materials to local shelters for repurposing. She is working to create a truly sus-tainable brand while serving the needs of the global community.

that their creativity, their voice, and their story could be shared with the world.

It started with a simple dress out of remnant silk, with only two seams, and it was very elegant. I thought ‘I could teach anyone in the world to make this.’ I partnered with NextStepNow, a micro loan program which provided 10 sewing machines for our pilot project with Gerasa Women’s Shelter in Indonesia. A friend in Italy helped me get a lot of remnants donated from Dolce & Gabbana, [sic] Prada; and we started our pilot project with all of these laces and vintage silks. Today over

the profit back into the communities of production. The business is open to investment, but will always be 51% owned by the non-profit. I believe the best resources are usually already in the communities themselves, from local businesspeople, to leatherworkers, to teenagers who love fashion and online marketing and can jump into the process, to older women with incredible tailoring skills and craftsmanship to pass on to the next generation.

Because our pieces are usually one of a kind, they can't be mass produced or cut out in stacks.

Working with fabulous vintage textiles and silks, each design involves a creative process - just like us. It's been an inspiring project for many people, and the most beautiful thing for me has been seeing people's heart and desire to give back in some way.

EW: T R U E S T O R Y I S A BEAUTIFUL NAME .

NV: So many little girls dream of beauty; of being a princess, a fashion model. I think the desire is to be loved, seen, and celebrat40 women have gone through the

non-profits that provide direct

ed. Many of us have experiences

sewing program, three businesses

care to at-risk communities. Our

in our lives that make us broken

have been started out of it, and we

non-profit provides seed money,

and shattered, that the dreams of

are also starting to do work in the

training, and creative curricu-

our heart are no longer possible.

women’s prisons, with rural weav-

lum workshops to women and

I went through a very hard time.

ers, and refugee communities [sic]

individuals from very difficult

When I lost hope is when I real-

of 1500 families.

circumstances. Our business acts

ized how powerful it really is. The

as an immediate buyer to the

message of our brand is that the

EW: C A N Y O U D E S C R I B E

pieces produced, and helps create

dream of our heart is not a fairy

YO U R B U S I N E S S M O D E L?

a storytelling platform for social

tale, but it’s also a true sStory

NV: True Story has both a regis-

transformation and economic

about who you really are. True

tered business, and a non-profit

empowerment. The business is

Story is about helping heal and

which work together to part-

majority owned by the non-prof-

restore lost and broken dreams,

ner with women’s groups and

it, which then is able to reinvest

and identity.

ÉL O Q U E NT 25

“I felt that if I could do anything, I wished that I could give creative jobs to women.”

–Nicole Voelkel

EW: W H AT E X P E R I E N C E S TA N D S

think we can live up to. The concept

O U T TO YO U T H E M O S T ?

is about welcoming the process itself

NV: When we began our pilot, I came

of transformation, and valuing the

with huge suitcases full of the beau-

significance of each stage as com-

tiful silks, the very best laces. Many

pletely necessary and significant,

of these women had suffered terri-

and worthy of celebration. Most of

bly, been trafficked and abused by

the pieces involve a wrap or tie so it’s

their parents; locked in hotel rooms,

always a good fit. These are overall

servicing hundreds of men. They

classic designs that feel really good

opened up suitcase after suitcase, and

and comfortable to wear, in very soft

some of the ladies began weeping

silk or chiffon. We put enough details

and saying ‘these are too nice for us.

into every cut that you could wear

Please don’t make us sew with these

it to a summer wedding or special

silks and this lace, it’s too good. I’ve

event. Our embroidered silk "but-

never touched something this beau-

terfly" top and sarong skirt create a

tiful before.’ It was so special to tell

stunning profile for evening wear, but

them them ‘no, this is for you. This

the top can be worn more casually

is what we want to invite you to be a

with jeans, and the skirt can also be

part of, we believe you can do it.” I

styled into two different dresses. I

think sometimes fashion can be seen

travel often and find myself reach-

as very vain but through this process

ing for those simple pieces for every

I’ve realized how healing beauty is.

occasion. I love these kind of easy to wear pieces that you are happy to slip

EW: W H AT M AT E R I A L S

on every day and feel beautiful, but

A R E YO U D I S P O S E D TO U S I N G

have enough integrity in the design

W H E N C R E AT I N G Y O U R

and textile that can also be styled up

COLLECTIONS?

or down for different events.

NV: I love repurposing rich textiles and hand-embroidered pieces. In so

EW: W H AT I M P A C T D O Y O U

many areas of the world, once some-

H O P E T R U E S T O RY W I L L H AV E

thing is worn or outdated it is ready

IN THE NEX T 5 YEARS?

to be discarded. Instead, I love the

NV: We have had invitations from

challenge of reimagining old leather

over 18 other non-profits who are

jackets, silk saris, and hand woven

seeking to develop job programming

tapestries into one of a kind piec-

and social enterprise projects for the

es. I have sourced from Italy, India,

communities they serve. My hope is

Turkey, Indonesia, Brazil, northern

to be able to keep connecting these

china, and American thrift stores.

groups and form a collective impact approach to fashion that truly drives

EW: D E S C R I B E Y O U R N E W

economic and social mobility in

SUMMER COLLECTION.

some of the world’s most marginal-

NV: Our summer line is "Butterfly

ized populations.

Effect." As women, we often battle between different versions of ourselves, which include regrets and striving towards a vision we don't

EW: W H AT I S T R U E S T O R Y WORKING ON NE X T ?

NV: We have the opportunity to participate in Paris ethical fashion week, a big fashion event we are creating in Italy with athletes and musicians as part of a benefit event. With our refugee groups we have a partnership with Sigfus, to make clay jewelry line that is lightweight and can be made in very simple settings. Five village chiefs in Bali just came to us and said ‘we want this program here. We’ll buy all of the machines if you will come and bring True Story.’ So there is a lot of demand and opportunity for expansion. We are starting to work in prisons, and also working on a True Story social impact hotel project, which will be ethically sourced materials from the community partnerships, and 25% of the profit going back into these communities. We would be excited to see this project grow into a larger lifestyle brand & creative retreat concept as a bigger team is starting to form.

EW: H O W C A N W E H E L P ?

NV: We are always looking for investors or donors willing to sponsor a new center. Usually for only $5000-$15,000 we are able to open a new production center including equipment, training, materials and launch phase. Our biggest limitation so far has actually been production, not sales, though by the end of this year we hope to have increased our scalability by 10. We also are open to professional collaborations to help with sales, strategy, branding, marketing, financial or legal advice.

For more information visit: mytruestory.net

ÉL O Q U E NT 27

REGARDING

ETIQUETTE: Modern Day Manners in a Digital Age B Y NAO MIE MHINA

15 Ways

At the turn of the century, manners took a beating. Indeed, civility is on life support.

The problem is that many people do not actually know what to do! When they hear the word etiquette, they think of how to hold a fork properly at a dinner party or worse; they think of stuffy outdated rules. Added to that is technology which has virtually killed civility, hence the emergence of ‘internet trolls’.

Etiquette comes from the French root meaning ticket or label. You could therefore say etiquette is the ticket to a polite society. It is synonymous with civility, politeness, decorum and good manners. Etiquette includes kindness, consideration, elegance, and style.

How can we combat the death of civility?

Here are a few gracious reminders to help you polish your poise.

to Practice your Poise at the Next Social Gathering!

1 Here’s how to decipher the dress code; Black tie means old Hollywood glamour. With Black tie optional, your host is saying they prefer black tie, but if you don’t have that, then wear the next best thing. Cocktail is elegant party dress with killer heels. Casual chic is a hybrid of dress-up and dress-down. Casual means your host is easy going, but do leave the yoga pants at home.

2

If your host hasn’t specified the dress code, ask them what they are wearing to assess how to dress.

“…Being a lady involves daily discipline, selfawareness and the desire for constant refinement to become the woman we truly wish to be.”

4

3 As a guest, do bring your host a gift such as flowers, a bottle of wine, or a box of chocolates.

KARL A M. DAVIS

5

Maintain eye contact and smile when conversing with others. Smiling radiates warmth and confidence.

6

Be sure to send the right signal with your body language. Holding your head up without slouching communicates that you are receptive, enthusiastic and interested.

9 12

15

If you’re seated next to people you just met, get to know them! Nothing is as flattering as asking people about themselves. If they’re talking about things you aren’t familiar with, ask questions.

Not only will this ensure you get invited again to future dinners, it will also widen your circle of influence.

It’s better to arrive a few minutes late, but not before the time stated on the invite.

Cell phones should be on silent or vibrate mode. If you are expecting an important call, mention beforehand and when the call comes, excuse yourself and step aside.

If you make a faux pas, humor is the best way to move past it. It makes you likeable and human. (Saying something like; ‘awkward!’ can put you and others at ease). Joke about it and move on.

7

Good etiquette also means listening and paying attention to the other person without interrupting them.

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8

To keep conversation flowing, have at least 3 go-to topics that you can always fall back on. Keep in mind, however, that politics, religion, health, and money are taboo.

During the meal, if in doubt (e.g. which cutlery to use) follow your hosts lead.

11 13 Lipstick can be applied at the table. Mascara and powder, on the other hand, should be applied in the bathroom.

14 If you have to leave the table, a simple, ‘Excuse me, I will be right back’ will suffice.

Hold white wine glasses by the stem. Holding the glass will compromise the aromas and taste, and tamper with the acidity.

In conclusion, manners will never go out of style. Indeed while our means of communication will definitely evolve as our world becomes more digital, the need for respecting self and others will never change. There is a difference between manners and etiquette though. Manners are how you act. This comes from inside of you. This is then manifested in how you treat others, which is where etiquette comes in. Anyone and everyone can acquire good manners regardless of how wealthy, educated, or gifted one is. Remember that being polite and elegant will make you more attractive to everyone. ÉL O Q U E NT 29

P H OTO B Y D E V I N WO L F F

D I A RY O F A S U RV I O R :

My Diagnosis is Beautiful!

BY BAILEY CLARK

he first time I remember my hair falling out I was ten years old and visiting my grandparents during a spring break trip. My mom was helping me brush my hair when she noticed an abnormal amount of strands coming out. I had also been noticing this oddity, but I was too scared to tell anyone — afraid something might be wrong with me. By the time we went to see a dermatologist, I had developed multiple bald patches and had extreme hair thinning over my entire scalp. The doctor diagnosed me with alopecia areata, an autoimmune disease that causes patchy hair loss. He told me there was no cure, only ways to treat the symptoms. As you can imagine, I was devastated by the news. I was always really into “girly” things like doing my hair and makeup, so I couldn’t believe this was happening to me. And there was nothing I could do about it.

Three months later, I was completely bald.

ÉL O Q U E NT 31

The relationship I had with my peers was affected most during my middle school years when I had no hair and wore nothing to cover my head. My symptoms only added to the stress and isolation I felt at an awkward time when fitting in felt so important. Most of my peers didn’t understand what was going on with me, and other than my friends, most kids just thought of me as someone weird. The boys I liked in school stopped talking to me, and kids in other classes would point and stare, making up ugly rumors about me.

Luckily, my hair completely grew back when I was thirteen and remained relatively healthy for five years. However, at the age of 22, I had another flare up and was nearly bald again. This time I decided to wear a wig in order to present myself in a way that felt “attractive.”

“I realized the love and approval I was searching for wasn’t going to come from anybody else.�

I definitely received more attention from men than ever before, and many people stopped me on the street to comment on my beautiful hair. I received so much praise about how great I looked. It was unreal. Some people even started treating me better with the long, voluminous hair. I thought the reaction I got from people would make me feel good, but honestly, it made me feel weird inside, as if I were disguising a part of my identity.

Eventually, their comments left me feeling more inadequate than ever before.

At first, I was really sad and had low self-esteem because of how different everyone treated me; but as time went on, I became unsure if my hair was ever going to grow back. With that realization I stopped caring what other people thought of me and started thinking more about how I felt about myself. I realized the love and approval

P H OTO B Y S A M OV E RT U R F

I was searching for wasn’t going to come from anybody else. This realization led me to begin working on my own self-esteem and loving the way I looked no matter how much hair was on my head!

day. The continuous cycle is a struggle that challenges me at different points in my life. Struggles are like that. They test us and make us stronger, better versions of ourselves. Even though this disease has put me through mental

I decided it was time to stop wearing the wig and remind myself, “I am beautiful no matter what!” Although I was still missing about 60 percent of my hair, it felt amazing to finally be free. The decision was very empowering and felt like a turning point for me. I realized I hadn’t been wearing the wig for myself; it was to meet someone else’s standard of beauty.

and emotional hardship throughout the years, it has been the vehicle to teach me more about self-love and resiliency, always reminding me that true beauty comes from within.

Dealing with alopecia has been a roller coaster ride over the years. I have been bald twice and eventually had full re-growth. I continue to deal with patches and hair loss almost every

Today, I’m happy to say that I’ll be graduating from Montana State University in May with a degree in Kinesiology! Although my future is still being written, I hope my story will inspire other women struggling with body image issues and low selfesteem to turn their hardships into an opportunity to love themselves exactly as they are—which is beautiful.

ÉL O Q U E NT 35

B E AU T Y

ECO-CONSCIOUS Skincare Total-body beauty care is about striking the right balance between what we place on the surface of our skin and what we invest holistically. That’s why staying hydrated and nurturing skin with high-quality, organic ingredients is the ultimate goal. All skin deserves to be pampered! We hope our list of empowering, ultra-nourishing beauty products will help you live in your best skin!

WA B I S A B I B O TA N I C A L S

LEAHLANI Leahlani, and founder Leah, are committed to using the freshest ingredients that Hawaii has to offer. Uniquely curated ingredients of organic kukui, avocado, tamanu, and noni oils in the Garden Isle Nourishing Body Oil provides everything your summer skin needs after long days in the sun.

Investing in your complexion consciously is made possible with brands like Wabi Sabi Botanicals.

With every purchase they endeavor to support women around the world through their fair-trade and small business loans.

Every product is filled with luxurious and organic ingredients, but my stand-out pick is the Age Gracefully Serum!

leahlaniskincare.com

wabisabibotanicals.com

ABA LOVE APOTHECARY Aba Gyepi-Garbrah founded Aba Love after attending New York Institute of Aromatherapy.

Investing in the very best for your skin, this apothecary produces some of the most luxurious and sustainable products for every skin type. The hands-down fan favorite is their Flower Crown Facial Serum. Light-weight and calming, it is perfect for a firsttime serum user looking for a daily moisturizer to try!

abaloveapothecary.com

BASE BUTTER

KAIKE

Kaike has collected a loyal following for good reason! With a commitment to natural, vegan, and preservative-free living, each product is hand-crafted in small batches with quality in mind. Their praised Sugar Scrub is my pick to prep your body for summer!

shopkaike.com

SMITH FARMS

She’Neil Johnson created Base Butter with the clear purpose of empowering women to choose natural products that benefit their skin and life. Their Body Love mango and shea butter cream not only smells decadent, but is packed with UV radiation protection and collagen boosters. With the addition of aloe vera, this Body Love Cream is an easy pick!

A sustainable beauty brand built by two sisters, Julia and Becky, on their family farm.

With quality hand-picked ingredients, every Smith Farms product is known for supporting all skin types with their nutrient rich vitamins and restorative hydration.

The Marshmallow Face Cream is my favorite and sensitive enough for certain skin conditions such as rosacea, eczema and psoriasis.

basebutter.com

smithfarmsproducts.com

ÉL O Q U E NT 37

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