Zelalem Waritu, The Universe within the Black Woman

The Universe within the Black Woman

Zelalem Waritu

I was disillusioned to think I was ever seen as a human being in vivo, in vitro

Peeling, stripping my skin He fixes his gaze on me I am an object among other objects Just a vessel, a warm body: two breasts and a pussy The real world never thought I deserved or had a right to have a share

His blade cut through me Hard and fast He tore through me Gutted and exploded

Now you see me, now you don’t

I was a nervous wreck Shaking at the slightest alert It burned my skin, it burned me from within How could I ever let myself be taken?

Deep within me I could feel his white seed swirl Within the dark depths of my black womb I prayed the white seed did not make itself at home

All I wanted was to be anonymous To be forgotten

Silently It tormented me in my mind pursued me in my dark dreams exasperated me as I tried to move

My body was never my own to begin with

It slipped my mind I had not bled Until my breasts began to swell And my body felt like lead I knew I was not mistaken

My body became home to another

Closing my eyes I opened myself And felt my essence amongst all things The earth beneath my feet Singing white, white Made water well in my eyes And then I heard it

The pulse from the womb of the world The universe A golden string tied me to infinity And deep within me came a cosmic message

I had rediscovered the primordial One And their cosmic message Only women decipher Its meaning, its impact As we convey it Hosting a cosmos marriage Bringing order from chaos Creating life within us

I found myself and opened my eyes to reality I owned myself This babe I was bringing into this world

Like a heavy anchor, reality sunk in The weight of my ancestors on my back Their chains, their voyage, their enslavement All my own and soon the burden of my unborn child My heart broke

But my soul could not forget the bond Between the universe and me

They held my hand and led me through the cotton fields Carried me through the shadows Eased the pain of my back with the light of stars Whispered that my ancestors were in the sea of constellations Watching over me silently I had to listen to what cannot be heard

But silence was everywhere

Till a beat of a drum came from within

Another heart Began to beat in time with mine

Kicking turned into banging

My time had come To perform the act of the universe

Breathing in, breathing out Over and over again Faster and faster An excruciating rhythm Turned primordial, pure Breathing in, breathing out Bringing life into the universe Bringing a shining light into my black night

The little one’s voice rang out Sharp and clear And the realization set in

I brought life into this world A world that rejected me Exploited me Because of my color My sex

Its haunting laws Under no condition should there be

any intimacy between the races There shall be no joy of living for the negro for sin is black as virtue is white

The ink was dry before we were born We arrive into the world Never given a second chance A second glance We have to cry out and demand to be heard Shake the foundations of the world Having to be tough to be able to live

No longer completely black And not yet white I had damned my child

But maybe

Just maybe

I could let myself believe The fruit of my womb could be the spark The start to a world we could build together Blurring the structures and colors in place And I could be there with them every step of the way