FAMILY
TIPS FOR POSITIVE FAMILY COMMUNICATION DURING COVID-19
By Michael Aurit, JD, MDR, and Karen Aurit, LAMFT
F
amilies are facing some very difficult conversations now that Arizona has re-opened. A range of strong opinions about social distancing and safety precautions may cause family conflict if communication breakdowns and negative emotional reactions go unchecked. Even some spouses are split over best practices during the pandemic. Enter extended families into the equation and the range of opinions can quickly become a heated blame game. Some family members would rather not have any conversation at this point. Some are consumed with fear and anxiety. Some are focused on the science and support adhering to CDC guidelines and social distancing protocols. Others question the level of risk or prefer to return to normal, even acknowledging the potential for negative health outcomes within our community. Family conflict is nothing new and can be overcome when family members are committed to healthy communication with the help of some mutually agreed upon guidelines for conversations. You could propose your own version of the following suggested communication guidelines to ensure less conflict and better family discussions: • We will be respectful of one another and respect all opinions as valid. • We will make proposals about how to connect as a family instead of making demands. Family members prefer to be “asked” if they are willing to do something compared to be “told” what they should do. • We will be open to compromising whenever we can all “live with” a solution that isn’t perfect but works for everyone. • We will avoid interrupting as best we can and ensure that each person’s voice is heard. thescottsdalestandard.com
• We will listen carefully to understand how each person sees the situation so we can “see the world through his or her eyes.” • We will stay positive and be gentle with each other, rather than placing blame or becoming judgmental. • We will acknowledge that we all love one another and want to be close again. The pandemic is temporary, but our family is forever. • We accept that we won’t all agree 100% of the time. If we disagree, we respect each person’s right to make his or her own decisions. Once you all agree on guidelines, schedule a family talk. Start with a fun activity to celebrate being together, maybe a virtual dance challenge, silliest joke exchange, or perhaps a rousing chorus of “We are Family.” When you begin, be prepared for a difficult conversation. There may be feelings of frustration. Remember, no one has all the right answers in this unique situation. The whole family can choose to use this as a wonderful opportunity to show love and compassion even when you disagree. If your family is struggling to communicate effectively, be prepared to call a “cease-fire” to give everyone time to cool off before regrouping. If relationships are in danger over COVID-related issues, seek professional help from a professional family mediator or family therapist. These professional services are often available online and can help your family to discuss difficult issues peacefully. Michael Aurit is a professional divorce mediator, Arizona attorney, and co-founder of The Aurit Center for Divorce Mediation. Karen Aurit is an Arizona licensed associate marriage and family therapist, and co-founder of The Aurit Center for Divorce Mediation. Learn more at auritmediation.com.
Risk Tolerance – Time to Change? By Renee A. Hanson, Private Wealth Advisor
Affinity Wealth Advisory Group, a private wealth advisory practice of Ameriprise Financial Services, LLC
It influences our thoughts around risk and ability to manage emotions around risk. When we think about risk, we are really considering the impact of how much are we willing to accept when markets are falling. However, you may want to think about it in two ways. The first is how much are you willing to accept in annual performance reporting. The second is how much are you willing to accept in market corrections. History (1948 – 2018) shows us that the markets experience about three 5% declines per year, one 10% decline about every year, one 15% decline roughly every four years, and a 20% decline
“Should I change my risk tolerance?” This is a common question during volatile markets, albeit mostly during down markets, both on reducing and taking on more risk. Perhaps you should ask yourself “what has changed that I would want to change my risk tolerance?” The investing world tosses around risk tolerance as if each of us fits into a category nicely. The industry regulatory body uses risk tolerance to match a portfolio to one’s ability at accept volatility. Yet few really understand what approximately every seven the impact is of volatility to their 1 years. investments. The ability to manage emotions Years ago, I discovered that people may influence behavior. For example, a think of performance of their investments hypothetical investment of $10,000 in the S&P in percentages when the trend is a bull market 500 from January 1990 through December 2018, would but look at performance in dollars in bear markets. They have had approximately 5.62% annualized return. If an will report they are up 7% but will state they are down investor had made emotional decisions during the most $7,000. Have you found yourself thinking the same way? volatile period, it could have reduced their annualized As important as the risk tolerance label of conservative, return to 2.01% and the best days of the period to -.33%. moderate, or aggressive is, so is the emotional Six of the best 10 days occurred within two weeks of awareness of what this means to you personally. Have the worst 10 days. This shows how very difficult it is to you ever considered your emotional risk tolerance? time the markets. It is logically impossible but can feel Risk tolerance is multi-dimensional. Being aware of plausible during emotional periods of volatility. your ability to emotionally manage your behavior during Do you need help understanding your risk aversion? market corrections should coincide with your measured We can help. Call us today at 602.923.9800 to schedule risk tolerance as it applies to your investment allocation. your complimentary consultation. Investment risk tolerance is the ability to stomach the ups and downs of market moves (stocks and bonds) 1 https://www.capitalgroup.com/individual/planning/market-fluctuations/ past-market-declines.html coupled with the ability to stay the course through your investment period. You may apply risk tolerance in other The views expressed here reflect the views of Renee A. Hanson as of April 23, 2020. These views may change as market or other conditions areas of your financial life, such as your emotional change. Actual investments or investment decisions made by Ameriprise comfort of having a mortgage or being home debtFinancial and its affiliates, whether for its own account or on behalf of clients, will not necessarily reflect the views expressed. This information free. It is not unusual to see people apply different risk is not intended to provide investment advice and does not account for individual investor circumstances. tolerances to different buckets of money or assets. The initial consultation provides an overview of financial planning We see that some people will treat inheritances with concepts. You will not receive written analysis and/or recommendations. The hypothetical rate of return is for illustration purposes only and is not emotions of not wanting to lose a loved one’s legacy meant to represent the past or future returns of any specific investment or investment strategy, or to imply guaranteed earnings. but be very comfortable taking more risk in 401(k) Ameriprise Financial, Inc. and its affiliates do not offer tax or legal advice. allocations. Have you done this as well? Consumers should consult with their tax advisor or attorney regarding their specifi c situation. Each of us has a money story. Our money story is Investment products are made available through Putting the needs of clients first is the approach I believe in. advisory I’ll work withand youservices to find Financial Services, LLC, a registered investment adviser. made of ourfinancial life experiences around money upyourAmeriprise the right solutions to help yougrowing plan for unique goals. And together, we’ll Ameriprise Financial Services, LLC. Member FINRA and SIPC. from ouryour parents’ finances ouradjusting own experiences. track progress overand time, your plan along the way toFinancial, help get you where © 2020 Ameriprise Inc. All rights reserved. you want to go. Renee A. Hanson CFP®, CEP®, CDFA®, CFS®, ChFC®, APMA® Private Wealth Advisor Affinity Wealth Advisory Group A private wealth advisory practice of Ameriprise Financial Services, Inc.
602.923.9800 7010 E. Chauncey Ln Ste 200 Phoenix, AZ 85054 renee.a.hanson@ampf.com affinitywealthadvisor.com
Ameriprise Financial Services, Inc. Member FINRA and SIPC.
THE SCOTTSDALE STANDARD • June/July 2020 • 9
