DECIMATION
ALLYSON LINDT
ACELETTE PRESS
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Copyright©2024byAllysonLindt
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For everyone who keeps asking me “BUT WHAT NEXT?”
“Youcan’tgobackandchangethebeginning,butyoucanstartwhereyouareandchangetheending.”
About 100 years ago
NO MATTERHOW MANY CENTURIES I LIVED, EACH ONE HELD SOMETHING NEW AND UNEXPECTED TO DISCOVER
Oneofthemostrecentexamplesbeingtheman thegod inoursittingroom,infrontofthefireplace.Despitethefactthat heknew peoplewhocouldsummonlightinmanyforms,Bragiinsistedonensuringelectricityranthroughourhome,andthat wehadelectriclights.
Thedimbulbflickeredoverhisshoulder,illuminatinghisbook
Ithadtakenyearsformetoadmitittohimormyself,butIdidadorehim.Hewassmart,creative,stubborn,andhecared.
“Youmakemenervouswhenyoujuststare.”Bragididn’tlookupfromhisbook. Ichuckledtomyself.“Idonot.Youloveitwhenpeoplestare.”
Heglancedatmewitharaisedeyebrow “ThatIdo However,Ipreferitwhenyou’retouching,too”Hesethisbookona nearbyendtable “Joinme”
Ididn’tneedtobeaskedtwice,andIcrossedtheroomtosettleintohislap. Bragiwrappedhisarmsaroundmywaist.“You’reworried.”
“Yes.” It had taken me a while to get used to the fact that there were no secrets with him. In some ways it was disconcerting,havinghimalwaysknowwhatIwasfeeling Itwasalsoarelief Therewasnoreasontohideanyofit “Aren’t you?”
Hepulledmeintohim.“Yes.I’mworkingonasolution,though.”
“Youdonotsolution away aprophecy.”Iwouldlaughattheabsurdityoftheidea,ifthedetailsoftheprophecyinquestion weren’tterrifying.OneofthereasonsI’dlockedmyheartawayfromBragiforyearsafterImethim,wasbecausegodstended tobetiedtofate
Itwas a cycle The newestpantheons gottoo bigfor their britches, theythoughttheyruled the world, and destinycame alongandtookthemdownanotch.Replacedthosewhoweretoocockywithupdatedvariations.
“Perhaps not. However, Vidar has a theorythatthe outcomes canbe redirected.” Bragi was definitelycocky, thoughnot necessarilyaboutbeingagod.Therewereancientpoemsabouthimthough.Thebard.Thefool.Theartistwhodaredtothink hecouldhaveitall,andwouldloseeverybitofit,includinghispower,andhislovers Me.
The redheadedwomanwe’dbothseeninour visions,whocouldn’tpossiblyexistbecause she was a Valkyrie andthere werenomoreofthose.
Notthattheancientwordssaidanyofthatinsomanywords However,ifonespentenoughtimestudyingthepoems,their meaningstypicallybecameclear
Slightlycloudy.
The cycle had started again. Gods and immortals feared for their lives, and more importantto them the loss oftheir status.
I’dnever takenissue withVidar He was a bitabrasive for mytaste However,Bragi hada literal sense for how honest peoplewere,andifhetrustedVidar,Ididaswell
ThatdidnotmeanItrustedthatthepropheciescouldbeovercome.TimehadtaughtmethatlessonmoretimesthanIcould remember.
“WhereisVidarthisafternoon?”IleanedmoreofmyweightintoBragi Vidarwasourguestforthenextmonthorso,but hewasaspronetowanderasBragi.
Bragikissedmyshoulderthroughmysleeve.“I’mnotenoughcompanyforyou?”heteased.
“You’requiteoftenmorethanIknowwhattodowith.”WhichwasthereasonIdidn’twantourguestwalkinginonus.
Bragiletoutaheavyandexaggeratedsigh “Heleftafewhoursagowithanidea I must talk to Finn, before I forget ”He spokeintonetwooctavesdeeperthanhisown
“Anyhintsastowhathisideamightbe?”Myquestionwasmoreidlecuriosity.Vidar’sideastendedtobestructuredand intricate,butnotcreative.
“Nottheslightestidea.Iassumeithassomethingtodowithavoidingtheprophecies.Itrulythinkhe’sgotagoodplan.”
Ahh “Hemay Isimplydon’twishyoutogetyourhopesup”
“I will try not to” He trailed a light touch down my torso, to tease along the top of my trousers “I may need to get somethingelseupinstead,tonumbthedisappointment.”
Igrabbedhishandbeforehereachedmycock,andadjustedmypositiontofacehimandstraddlehislegs.“Areyoutrying tofuckme,toforgetyourwoes?”
“Absolutelynot” He broke free and caughtmyhand ina single twistofhis, thencaptured myother wristas well “I’m tryingtofuckyoubecauseIlikethesoundsyoumakeinthethroesofpassion.”
Ismirked.“Thenbyallmeans,pleasecontinue.”
Bragiloosenedthelacesonmytrousers,thencapturedthebackofmyneckinatightgripashecrushedhismouthtomine. Theintensityofthekisswasmagnifiedbythewispsofpassionflowingthroughourconnection
Hecouldshareatinyfractionoftheemotionhefelt Itwassomethingheavoidedoutsideofsex,andeventhenitwasrare WhichmadethesliversIfeltofmyaffectionmingledwithhisthatmuchmoreenticing.
Ipushedhisshirtup,tuggingtheloosefabricoutofthewaytokissalonghisneckanddownhischest.Toteaseanipple withmytongue.
Hepulledmyfaceupformorekisses,stealingmybreathandagaspfromme Therewasapowerinthissensualdance A typeofallureI’dneverfeltelsewhere Bragitrailedhismouthdownmyjawtosuckonthetenderskinwheremyneckmetmy shoulder.
Incredible.
Witheachtouchandmoan,hisormine,Igrewharder.Ifelthimstiffenunderneathmeaswell.Areverberationofarousal. Bragiteasedmymouthwithhis,overandover Kissingandnippingandsuckingmylips,whilehetrailedhisfingersdown mychest Histouchthroughfabricsparkedalongmysenses Thiswasalwaysintoxicatingwithhim
Whenhebrushedmycock,Ijerkedagainsthistouch.Whenhewrappedhisfingersaroundmyrigidshaft,Igroanedintohis mouth.Hisslowstrokewasadrawn-outtortureofthemostdeliciousvariety.Hissofthandmovingupanddown,occasionally squeezingandalwaysmilking.
Irockedagainsthim,grindingagainsthiserectionaspressurebuiltinsideme Histouchgrewmoreinsistentandsodidmy movements,becomingasteadyhump.Hestrokedharderandfaster,andIreactedinkind.Acyclical buildofdesire,flowing betweenus.Makingmeharder.Makingmyneedswell.
Ibucked againsthis touch, and his cockjerked beneathme. Mybodytensed withthe need for release, and mybreathing stuttered
Climaxsurgedthroughme,andIspilledasBragicontinuedtojerkme Iemptiedmyselfintothespacebetweenus,andkept rocking.Keptgrindingintohim.
Histouchwastoomuchagainstmynow-hyper-sensitiveskin,butitalsofeltwonderful.Asdidthegruntingnoisescoming fromhis throat.His crywhenhecamewas musictomyears.His explosionofpleasurefromhis ownphysical responses as wellasmyorgasm
Icollapsedagainsthischest,notcaringaboutthemessbetweenus
IshouldtellhimnottohavethisconversationwithVidar,butIdidn’thaveareasontoofferhimbeyondinstinct. “Askme,”hesaid.
Icouldn’t DespiteknowinghefeltwhatIwantedtosay “Iwon’tletmydoubtdestroyyourchances” “Ourchances,”Bragicorrectedme.Becausetheprophecyappliedtohimand hisloves.
“Exactly.”IhadnoreasontoworryaboutVidar’splans.WhatI’dseenwithpastprophecywasexactlythat inthepast.I wouldn’tstopBragifromtryingtosaveus.
Thatdidn’tmeanIcouldstopmyselffrombeingconcerned
PUBS. SALOONS. TAVERNS. THEY WERE AMONG MY FAVORITE THINGS. A PLACE WHERE PEOPLE COULD IMAGINE THEMSELVES AS anything,andsharethosetaleswithanyone
Isatacross the table fromVidar, inthe one downthe streetfromthe house Ishared withmylove, and letthe ambiance washoverme.Itwasitsownformofworshipandprayer.Patronsgivingthankstotheinspirationsthatkeptthemhoping.
“You told me another came true last month.” I hated to harp on about the subject, however answers were critical to preparingtherestofusforwhatevercamenext.
Vidarsippedanale,hisstoicismnothidingthedisquietthatradiatedfromhim “CúChulainn ” “Ooh.”Iwinced,notneedingtohear more.Theonce-kinghadsuccumbedtomadness longago,butthatwasn’ttobehis finalfate.Thesisters thedragonswhowrotetheprophecieseonsago sawhimlosingeverything.Hisfamily,hiskingdom, hislife,andanychancehehadatredemption.
Experience,agoodportionofitNicodemus’s,showedthatthesethingshappenedincycles Oneprophecycametrueand thendozensmore,likesoldiersfallingoneafter another inabrutal battle Iassumedbecausemostofthecollectionsoftales endedinbrutalbattlesthemselves.
Ididn’tbelievethatitwouldallhappentomorrow,orinthenextdecadeortwo.Thiswassomethingthatwouldtakeplace overthenextcoupleofcenturies;stillablinkintimetosomeimmortals.
“Myselfand a handful ofothers are comingtogether,” Vidar said “We feel like there’s notonlystrengthinnumbers, but knowledge Wewanttodiminishthecollateraldamage”
WhichwasapolitewayofsayingVidarandothershe’dspokenwithwishedtostayalive.Thefearheradiated,theworry attheideaoflosingwhohewas,waspotentandgenuine.
Not that I blamed himor any god. I had a lot left to experience, especially now that I’d discovered love. Especially becausetheancienttextsaboutmeinvolvedNicoaswell ThemanIloved ThemanIwouldobliteraterealityfor “Whatdoyouwantfromme?”Iwashonoredtobeinvited,butIwasn’tafighter Theothergodshe’dmentionedwereall warriors.Symbolsofbattlesandwars.
“Yoursurvival.”Hemeantthewords.
Hints of other feelings lay underneath, marring the sincerity, but that was the case with everyone. Emotions were as complexasthosewhoradiatedthem Itwasrareforanindividualtofeelonethingandonlyoneatanygiventime
Whentheydid,Ihadnointerestinbeingnearthem.Afeelingsopureitobliteratedallotherthoughtswasastoxictomeas apatchofpoisonivy.Itcouldinfectme,blistermysoul,andleavemeincapacitatedforhoursordayswhileItriedtoshrugoff someoneelse’sheart.
“I’ll askagain”ItwarmedmethatVidar valuedour friendshipenoughtoincludemeinthisventure,despitetheegothat drovehim,andmostgods,towanttobethesolesurvivor Therehadtobemoretohisrequest,though “WhatisitIcando?”
“Research. Reading. Your knowledge ofwhat’s come before and your abilityto draw outthe tiniestbutmostsignificant piecesofatalefromthosearoundyou.”
ThatwassomethingIcoulddo.“Whoelsehasagreed?”Whenwe’dspokenaboutthisonpreviousoccasions,Vidar had givenmethenamesofothershewastalkingto,butitwasn’tacompletelistandmostofthemhadn’tagreedatthetime “Hel Morganna,Macha,andFinn Loki ”
“No.”Thatwasenoughinformationforme.“Lokiisunpredictable.”
“Ishe?Hewantsthesamethinganyofusdo.TolivelongenoughtoseewhatcomesafterRagnarök.”
Thatwasn’tmyconcern “Unlikeyouorme,hismethodscanbe arbitrary” “Hecanbeguided.Nudged.”
“Does he truly offer anything that we can’t find somewhere else?” The way I asked the question, it sounded as if I’d alreadymadeupmymind.
IsupposedIhad,whichmeantIhadasayinwhoelseIworkedwith “Hecanbequitepersuasivewhenrequired Likeanyofus,hehasalottooffer” Unlikemostofus,hehadexperiencewithdestroyinganothergod.Ididhopethatwasn’taconsideration. TherewasalsoaprophecyaboutLokithatsaidhe’dbebroughttohiskneesbysomelittleupstartofagoddess.Fascinating howeachpersonVidarhadrecruitedstoodtolosesomethingbigifthepropheciescametrue. Thenagain,whywouldthosewithabrightfuturewanttosignuptostopitfromhappening?“Countmein”
“Excellent”Vidargrinned,andfinishedhisaleinasingleswallow “Welcometotheboard”
The conversationshifted to other topics. Whichcontinents Vidar was frequentingfor worship. Withwhatwere the other godsbusyingthemselves.
Though Vidar was staying with us, there was something about the pub setting that made swapping stories more fun. Id enjoyedVidar’scompanyforcenturies,andtheabilitytosimplysitandreminiscewasoneofthebiggestreasonswhy Iwas ridingthe highofhope whenVidar andIheadedbackto the house thatafternoon. Vidar retired to his room, and I soughtoutNico,whowasbaking.
Hewantedtobehappyforme.Hewantedtosharemyenthusiasm.
Hisworrykepthimfromfeelingthesmilehegaveme,ashekissedmeonthecheek “Howdiditgo?”heasked “Wonderfully” This entire plan was going to be amazing The things that Vidar had planned “I know you have your doubts,butthiswillworkoutforus.Whoknows?Perhapssomedayinthefuture,we’llevenmeetourredheadedValkyrie.” Nicofrowned.“MostofthetimeIhopewewon’t.”
“Why?”Icouldfeelhisreservations,butcouldn’tplaceareason.
“I’dhatetomeetsomeonelikethat,onlytohavehersnatchedawaybyabitterfate” Igavehimareassuringsmile,thoughIdidn’tfeelit AlltheValkyrie’sweregone “Youdon’thavetobelieveyet Whenit worksout,you’llsee.You’llknow.”
Themosteffectiveliesaretheonesfoundedinthetruth.
A century ago, I had no idea then that Vidar’s plan, Hel’s plan, would mutate to include torture. Brainwashing. Manipulation. Murder. And it never occurred to me that after centuries of what I thought was friendship, Vidar had been manipulatingmyemotions
Possiblyintentionally,thoughtothisdayIdoubtedit.Hewasjustsucharagingfuckingnarcissist,thatanyconcernhefelt, anyfearorworry,wasallgenuinebecauseitwasallcenteredonhisownlifeandsalvation.
Hebelievedhewassavingtheworld…forhimself.
Hebelievedthatby any means necessary wastheonlywaytokeephimselfgoing Astheyearsanddecadesbledaway,thelittlethingsthatnaggedatmeaboutTOMbecamebigthings Somanytimes,Nico beggedmetostop.Ididn’trecognizeatthetimethatfeelingtheanguishofstudentsdayafterdaywasgnawingatme.Wearing awaymydefenses.
FillingmewiththekindofnegativeemotionthatbledfrommewhenIwaswithNico.Itwaswhyhe’dstartedwearinga crystalthatkeptmefrominfluencinghim
BythetimeIfiguredoutthatTOMhadeatenawayatmykindness,Iwassotiredoffeeling,sosickofhowsicktheworld
was,thatitwaseasiertohurt meandthosearoundme thantowallowinthepain,curlupinaball,andsurrender. Whyweren’tNicoandMagnusbackyet?Haditbeenthatdifficultforhimtoconvincehertoreturn?
Iheadedoutside,andcalledtheirnames Nothing.
Wherewerethey?
ThelongerIsearched,thecloserImovedtotheborderthatkeptushidden,themoremyconcerngrew.Didtheyleave? Itwasdifficultformetobelievethey’dbothagreetodothatwithoutlettingmeknow DidVidargetthem?
Thefuryandconcernthatsurgedinsidewaspotent.IcalledMagnus’sphone.Whentheotherendofthelineclicked,Ifully expected Vidar’s voice. Ibraced myself, as a planraced throughmyhead. I’d have to call infavors. I’d have to prostrate myselfinfrontofotherimmortalsandbegforhelp.
I’dneedto
“Hello”Nico’svoicewasflat
Thank you.“Whereareyou?”Ikeptmyquestioncool.Noreasontoexposemypanic. VoicesechoedinthebackgroundofNico’ssideofthecall.Dahlia?Okay.Magnuswasupset,butshe’dgonesomewhere safe.Good.
“I’verecoveredmymemories,”Nicosaid
His even, emotionless deliveryknocked the air frommylungs. “That’s fantastic.” Ididn’thave to fake myenthusiasm. I washappyforhim,thoughthenewsmaynotbegoodforme.
“It’swonderful.”Hedidn’tsoundlikehemeantit.“Don’tcomenearus.Eitherofus.Everagain.”
Fatchanceofmelisteningtothatcommand “Nico ” Mypleawasmetwithdeadairashedisconnected Fuckitall.
THREE MAGNUS
I WAS SITTING ON THE BOTTOM MATTRESS OF ONE OF SEVERAL BUNK BEDS. Rather,Iwaslookingatsix-year-oldmesittingthere
TOM IwasonTheOrderofMistletoecampus Orlookingatmyselfthere ExceptIdidn’tgethereuntilIwasateenager.
“Hello?”Itriedtopushthewordout,butnosoundreachedmyears.Isteppedclosertomeandreachedforher.“Hello?”I saidagain.
Shemetmygaze,ahauntinglookinhergreeneyes,andopenedhermouth
There was still no sound, butIwas assaulted byso manyemotions. Too many. All atonce, until itwas louder thanany shoutandIcouldn’tdistinguishanyindividualfeeling.
Isatupwithagasp,andmyeyesflewopen.Iwasinmyroom,inmyapartment,atNEON.DahliaandNicosatbymybed, watchingme
“Pleasebequiet”Imutteredtherequestbeforeeitherofthemcouldspeak,andbeforemybraincaughtuptomymouth Nicofrowned.“We’renotsayinganything.”
Thenhow Ipressed mypalmto myforehead. “Butyouare.” Their everyemotionscreamed atme;all ofitnoise and noneofitdistinguishable.“Where’sBragi?”
Theybothscowled
NowIrecognizedpity Distrust Regret
ThatlastonewasNico,andItriedtofocusonseeinghim,ratherthanlettinghisemotionsliveinmyskull.
“IleftBragibehind,”hesaid.
“Why?”
“Iremembered”
Sucha simple response, but it was ladenwiththe noise that screamed at me What I felt wasn’t onlyNico, it was the peopleoutsideinBangkok.ThepeoplethroughthegatethatledtoNEON.
Icouldn’tthinkaboutanythingelse.
Iclosedmyeyes andnamedeachemotion,labelinga mental box,andshovingthe thoughtontoa shelfinthe backofmy mind Thesamewaywe’dbeentaughtinschool
ThetaskseemedinsurmountableasIpickedattheedgesoftheblob.ItshouldhavebeenworsewhenNico’sandDahlia’s concernsurged,buttheirreactionsgavemeastartingpoint.
Breath through your nose. Shrug it off. Name it and banish it.
Ididn’tknowhowlongittookbeforeIdaredlookagain Thefeelsweren’tgone,buttheywerequieter “Areyouallright?”Dahliaasked,thengaveadrylaugh “Obviouslynot,butyouknowwhatImean” “No.”MyreplycameoutmoresharplythanIintended.Nowshewashurt.Isteadiedmyself.“Ineedanotherfewminutes ofsilence.Youdon’tevenhavetoleavetheroom.”Becauseitwouldn’tmatter.I’dfeelthemregardlessiftheywerenearby. Dahlianodded,andafterapause,Nicodidaswell.
Iturnedinwardagain Boxingthesethingswasn’tworking Ididn’thaveroominmypsychetostoreandignorethemall, whichmeantnoshortcuts Thishadtobedoneproperly
Wouldthatdrivemeinsane? Properly meantadmittingeachfeelingwasthere,namingit,andlettingmyselffeelitforlong enoughforittodissipate.
HowwasIsupposedtofeel everything?
Iclawedmywaythroughenoughofthechaostofindmyownthoughtsinthemiddleofitall.Themethodologyquietedthe bedlamenoughformetoopenmyeyesagain.
“Doyourememberanything?”Nico’squestionwaskind.
Wasitironicthathe wasaskingme that,orjustabadcoincidence?“Irememberneedingyouandgoodsex” Hisembarrassmentsurged
WherewasthecrystalfromMaeve?“DahliaknowsIfuck.Shedoestoo.Nosecretshere.”
Dahliashrugged.“It’strue.”Shewasworriedaboutme.Frustratedthattheconversationwasn’ttheoneshewantedtobe having,butshewasn’tfazedbythetopic.
“Youkissed me After,” Nico said “Yousaid youwished I could have backwhat I was missing, and thenI did Your crystalbroke Youscreamedandpassedout Icouldn’tbringyoubacktoBragi,soIcalledDahlia”
“Did youwishhis memories back?” Dahlia asked. “Canyoudo thatnow?” She poked mycheekand lifted myarmand priedmyhandsopen.
“What are you doing?” I meant beyond trying to lighten the mood. It was odd to feel her intentions, but not know her meaning
Dahlialookedatme.“Ifyou’reaDjinn,youhaveamagiclamp,right?Wedestroyitandyoudon’thavetogoback.”One cornerofhermouthtuggedupwiththeattemptathumor.
Itwasenoughformetolaugh.Notabig,loudlaugh,butmoreasoundofrelief.“I’mnotagenie.NotthatIknowof.” “Thankthegods”Shepuffedoutasigh “IalwaysgetjealousofhowmuchbetteryoulookinpinkthanIdo” Imissedher SomethingelseaboutwhatNicosaidwasodd “Yougotyourmemoryback WhydidyoucallDahlia?”
Shestuckhertongueoutatme,andIpokedhernose.“Peopleusuallycallsomeone they know.I’mgladI’mhere,”Isaid. “Iknowvillagers.Noneofthemcouldhelpyou.”Nicowasmoreembarrassedbythatthanbymebeingopenaboutsex.“I cuttieswithmostoftheworldwhenIleftBragi.Besides,Iwascallingtogetyouhelp,notme.”
AndgoingtoBragiwasn’tanoption BecauseNicohadrememberedtheirpast IfIwasstrugglingwithputtingthepieces togetherfromanhourortwoofmissingtime,Icouldn’timaginehowNicohaddealt Iwassurprisedhewasstillcoherent “Howdidyoubringhismemoriesback?”Dahliaasked.
ShewasgoingtohatethatI’dleftheroutofwhatIdiscovered,but,“Idon’tknow,butI’lltellyouwhatIdoknow.Somuch hashappenedinthelasttwenty-fourhours.Ihadn’tmadeitheretotellyouyet.”
Dahliawasmoredisappointedandhurtthanangry “Becauseyouwerehavingsex”Butshealsounderstood Igaveheranapologeticlook “Good sex”
“Yeah,yeah.That’sfair.”She’dalreadyforgivenme.
“Idon’tknowhowIdidthememoriesthing,”Isaid.“ButapparentlyI’maconduit?Like,magiccangothroughmeandinto otherpeople,andI’mchannelingsomeofwhatthebabiesare,andmaybethatwaspartofwhatdidit.Therewasacrystalthat washelpingmecontrolit,andIguessitbroke?”
Dahliasqueezedmyhand.Thegestureshouldbesympathy.Thatwaswhatlingeredatthesurface,butIwashitwithawave of complexity. Her adoration for her men. For me. Her distrust for Bragi. Wanting Vidar dead. Wondering if what was happeningtomewasNico’sfault.
Theonslaughtwassopotent,Imightaswellbereadinghermind Ijerkedmyhandaway,andDahliafrowned “I’mchannelingsomeoneelse’spower,”Irepeated “Empathy” “Oh. Oh.”Dahlia’smouthformedacircle.
RealizationspreadthroughNico,too.Asifsomethingssuddenlymadealotmoresense. “Thatsoundsawful,”Dahliasaid.
“Youhave noidea” IfBragi hadaskedme a few months agoifIunderstoodwhathe felt,Iwould’ve said sure I know what emotions are like But I reallycouldn’t have fathomed this How did he do it for so long? How did it not drive him
insane?
Becausehegaveupontryingtobesympatheticandreveledinthepaininstead.
Likethat,Ialmostunderstood,andIhatedmyselfforit
“It’ssoloudinmyhead,”Imutteredasmuchtomyselfasher.
“Whatdowedo?”Nicoasked.“SendmesomewhereandI’llgo.”
Hemeantit.Hewantedtoprotectme.
Hecouldn’t,butthesentimentwassweet
“MaevesaidIneededamorepermanentsolution,tometermypower,”Isaid Dahliawassurprisedagain.“Maeve?”
“She’sanelf.”
Dahliastaredatmewithshock.“Accordingtothebooks,QueenMabisafuckingfaequeen.”
Oh Oh Whydidn’tIputthosepiecestogetherbefore?How hadImissedwhoshereallywas?“Notanymoreshe’snot” AndnowIwantedtohearthatstory “IwashopingmaybeTatianacouldhelp”
TatianawasoneofthefirstwomenaftermetobecomeaValkyrie.Shewasdescendedfromalineofvoodoopriestesses and she not onlyknew magic was real, but practiced it. She was easyto explainthe entire thingto, and had abilities that extendedbeyondaValkyrie’s.
“Youcall her”Dahliastood “I’ll gograbyour stufffromthecabin,soyoudon’thavetodeal withButt-faceBragi,and we’llgofromthere.”
Great.Wonderful.NotthatIhadanyideawhattodonext.“IneedtogetTatianaherefirst.Ormetoher.ThenmaybeIcan think.”
FOUR BRAGI
I LEFT THE CABIN ALMOST IMMEDIATELY AFTER TALKING TO NICO. NO REASON TO STICK AROUND IF THEY WEREN’T COMING back Ihitchedaridetotheairport,whichwaswhereIwasnow
Igave a warmsmile to the youngmanworkingthe check-incounter, and handed himmyboardingpass Magnus would probablypointoutIcould’vecheckedinontheinternetoratthekiosks,butIwantedtheinteraction.
“Whereareyouflyingtoday?”HisnametagsaidhewasTad.
“Detroit.Tovisitanoldfriend.”Rather,IhopedAnubiswouldnotonlyseeme,buttalktome.
WhenIleftTOM, the board had alreadycrumbled The onlyreasonthe campus still existed was because Vidar had the presenceandpowertomaintaincontrolovermanyoftheremainingsoldiers.Ihadn’tcaredwhathedid,aslongasIwasn’ta partofit,andMagnuswassafe.
Tad’sfingersflewacrosshiskeyboard.“Justcheckingtheonebag?”Heworkedwithpracticedefficiency.
“Iprefer totravel light”Ipreferrednottotravel thiswayatall,butifIwasgoingtostuffmyselfontoaplane,Iwasn’t draggingalongmyentirewardrobe WhenIleftthecabin,Nico’sandMagnus’sthingsstayedbehind theyweremorecapable ofretrievingthemthanIwasofreturningtheirluggage.Somethinghadpromptedmetoleavemyjournalsaswell.
Ididn’tneedtorelivemypastthroughmywords.Ithauntedmeregardless.
Magnusshould’vebeensafefromTOM.ThatwaswhatI’dconvincedmyselfof.Shemadethedecisiontowalkaway,and sheandher friends werepowerful Ididn’tknow how hadInever seenit thatVidar hadalways wantedher specifically Thatkeepingandcontrollingherwasapriority?
“Hmm…Igetthat.”TadglancedatmyIDforallofhalfasecond,beforereturningtohistyping.“Ihaveyoustayingoverin Atlanta?”
Notbychoice.WhoseridiculousideawasittorouteaflightfromJacksonHoletoDetroitthroughAtlanta?“That’sright.” Itwasstillmyfastestoption IneededVidardead Period Thatmeantfindingsomeonewhocouldhelpmefigureoutthepuzzle ofkillinghim,andthatmeantflyingtowhomeverItriedtoworkwith
EvenwithmypowerIwouldn’thavebeenabletodestroyVidar,unlesspoetryslamminghimtodeathwasanoption.AndI definitelycouldn’tdoitnow.Notalone.
I’dburnedsomanybridges inthelastcenturythough.Thelistofgods andimmortals whowouldn’tspeaktomewas far longerthanthenumberwhowould
“You’reallset.”TadhandedmemyboardingpassandID.“Followthesignstosecurityandthentoyourgate,andhavea safeflight.Nextplease.”Hewasalreadylookingpastme.
Securitywasnext.Whoeverinventedthisprocessmustbeatrickstergod,andmustbefarmorepowerfulthesedaysthan theyleton Thechaosthatexistedhere Itcouldfeedtherightgodforeons PerhapsthatwashowLokihadstayedrelevant afterallthistime TSAlinesattheairport
Ididn’tneedchaos,though.Ineededagodwhowasfamiliarwithdeath.Notjusttheindirectones.Thereweremoregods ofwarthanalmostanythingelse,besidessex.
Butoddlyenough,veryfewwhoweredirectlyassociatedwiththedead.
The elemental and elder gods and spirits knew a lot about death Like Nico, they weren’t death themselves but were experiencedwithit Butitwas difficulttoexplaintoa river spirit,whohadonlyever seentheir ownbanks andshores and
rocks,thatsomegodonanothercontinentwasworthanyoftheirattention.
Therewereothergodsfromothercontinents.Africa.SouthAmerica.NorthAmerica.Anumberofthemdidn’tcareabout thepropheciesbecausetheydidn’tfeellikeRagnarökinvolvedthem MincaredbecauseofKirby
Butthatcouldalsoworktomyadvantage.Atthismoment,Ididn’tgiveashitabouttheprophecieseither.Nottheoverall reachorwhathappenedwhentheyallcametofruition.MagnusandNicoweremyonlyconcerns.
AndthatmeantdestroyingVidar.
Anubis AsfarasIknew,hedidn’ttakeissuewithme,andhewasstillpartofthisworld
ThetrickwouldbeconvincinghimIwasthereasonheshouldtakeaside,andhopingMinhadn’twarnedhimawayfrom me.
Twelve hours, and far-too-long layover later, I stepped froma car in the middle of a neighborhood that could best be describedas in transition.Totheunpracticedeye,onemightguessthestreetsweredying.Several buildingshadboardedup windows, fences and overgrown grass surrounded others, and still other lots were simply empty Dirt or broken concrete whereastructurenolongerstood
There were hints of life here, though. Not old, vanishing life. New and full of hope, like the first buds of green, on a floweringbushafterahardwinter.
OneexamplewastheautomotiveshopIstoodinfrontof.Theclassicdesignwasstillinplace awindowedgaragedoor thatslidup,amidarestoredcinderblockservicestation Therewasajackalonthesign,andtheplaceboastedthattheycould bringanycarbacktolife.
Anubisdidn’tjustdealwiththedead,hegaveasecondchancetobothpeopleandthingsthathadtheirpotentialtakenfrom themtooearly.Thisneighborhoodforinstance.
He still hada space inthe basementwhere he honoredthe deadandsentthemtothe nextlife The general public didn’t knowaboutit Ididn’tsuspectmostpeoplewantedtheirautomotiverestorationshopalsoconductingmortuary-typeservices butitwasn’tasecretamongimmortals.
Thegaragedoorwasopen,andIrecognizedthe1930’sPackardhehadonaliftintheair,becauseI’downedonealotlike itwhentheywerenew.Withasmuchrustas,andmorepineneedlesthan,paintthisonehadseenbetterdays.
There was a dark-skinned manabout sixinches taller thanme, pullinga wheel off the car corpse The garage lighting glintedoffhissmoothhead,andhisoverallshidthekindofstrengthonlyagodcouldmaintainwithoutalotofwork
Anubis spared me the briefest glance before returningto his task. “Afternoon. Are youinthe market for somethingthat remindsyouofbetterdays?”Hisaccenthintedatablendoflanguagesanddialectsfromthevarioustribesandcountrieswhere hewasstillworshiped,andhisvoicewasdeepandsmooth,liketheslipofsilk.
Ihadnoideaifhewastalkingaboutcarsorbeingmorefigurative “Iwouldn’tcallanythingI’veseeninthelastcenturyor so better days ”
“Ah.Somethingnew.Refreshed.Youwantadifferentoutlookonlife.”Hesetthelastwheelontheground,andturnedhis attentiontothenewlyexposedbitsofcar.
“Ireallyhavemoreofaquestion.”
“Onlyone?”
“Onetostart.Theremaybeothersdependingonhowthefirstgoes.”Asin,Icouldn’ttellifhewasgoingtoberesponsive tothisconversation.Thingswerestartingpolitelyenough,butIwouldn’tcall theexchangefriendly.Iwasgoingtopokeand prodalittlemore,toseeifitwassafetobroachmyrealreasonforbeinghere.
Anubishandedmeawrench,andpointedtothecar “Youcanask,aslongasyouhelp Ineedanothersetofhands”
Thatseemedfair Isteppedcloser,watchedashemaneuveredaroundalargebolt,andthenheldthetoolaccordingtohis instruction.
Iwasstartledwhenhepulledoutalargemalletandhammeredthemetal,sendingrustflyingeverywhere.“Ishouldhave wornmyraincoat.”Itriedtokeepmytonelight.
Hechuckled “Youshouldgivemeyourriddle”
“Haveyoueverhadoneoftheseyoucan’tbringback?”Ihadahardtimebelievingthattheguaranteeonthesignoutfront
waspossibleundernormalcircumstances.Notevery carcouldbesaved.
“Itdependsonhowonedefines bring back.Therearetimeswhentheonlythingremaininginthenewisanoriginalhood ornament or a side window” Another few hits with the hammer, and he seemed satisfied He wiggled something free that lookedlikearecordoraflatdonut,withahandfulofrustholesinit.
Hisanswerledmetoanotherquestion.I’dfollowittoseeifthiswentanywhere.“Ifyoudothat,isitreallythesamecar?”
“Again,italldependsonhowyoudefineit.Tome,inthatcase,it’smoreofatributetotheoriginal.Areminderofwhatit oncewas Toanotherperson,it’sthesameashavingtheirbelovedbackintheirgarage”
Thisconversationwasmovinginthewrongdirection,butithadmyfascination IfallthatremainedofVidarwasapocket watch,I’dfindthatanacceptableoutcome.Thenagain,weweretalkingaboutcars,notgods.“Whatdoesittaketoreachthat point,wheresolittleremains?”
“Therotanddecayhavetoeatthroughtheframe,body,seats,mechanics,andeverythingelse,tothepointwherenopieces canbesalvaged”
I could see how applyingthat to Vidar would workintheory, but not inpractice “What if the parts are constructed of indestructiblematerials?”
Anubis stoppedhis work,setdownhis hammer,andfinallygave me his full attention.“ThenIassume thatsortofdecay doesn’thappen.Wouldyouliketoaskmeyourquestionsdirectly,ratherthanderivingmeaningthatisn’ttherefromourexisting conversation?”
“Iwould.”
Hetookthewrenchfrommeandsetitwiththeother tools,thennoddedtowardthemainbuilding.“Let’s goinside.”He closedthegaragedoor,flippedaswitchtoturnoffthelights,andweheadedin.
Therewasasmallkitchen,decoratedwiththetypesofantiquesthatwouldmakeanycollectorswoon,fromastill-running, classicrefrigerator,toashelffilledwithglassesinamutedrainbowofcolors Anubisgrabbedtwoglasses “Wouldyoulike somewater?”
“Please.”Itookaseat.
Hefilledbothglassesfromthesink,setoneinfrontofmeonacoaster,andemptiedhisinasingleswallowbeforefillingit again Hesatacrossfromme
“I know a lot of you like your vague questions and innuendo, but the dead don’t have any time for secrets or hidden meanings,” Anubis said. “Tell me whatyou’re lookingfor, who do youwantto destroy, and I’ll tell youwhether or notI’m willingtohelp.”
Herewentnothing.“Vidar.”
Anubis’sposturechangedinablink,goingfromneutral andcasual totense,withascowl onhisface “Idon’thaveyour answers,butIwillhelpyoufindthem”
“Likethat?NotthatIwanttodissuadeyou.”
Anubis clenched his jaw. “Too manysouls have crossed mydoorstep who never had a chance to realize their potential, becauseofhim.”
IsupposeditwasagoodthingIwaslookingtodestroyoneofthefewgodswhohadmademorerecentenemiesthanIhad “YourcountrymenhavemoreexperiencewiththisthanIdo,”Anubissaid.“Helblindi,forinstance.Haveyouaskedhim?” Thenametookamomenttoregister.SomegodsusedAnglicizedversionsofournames,andotherssimplypickednewones to matchthe era. Helblindi one ofLoki’s brothers was one who had changed his moniker witheachnew age. Or rather, eachnewincarnationofthewomanheloved
LastIheard,hecalledhimselfBlakenow,andhe’dmanagedtokeepLucialivethistime He’dsurrenderedhispowerto saveherlife,andtokeepMorganafromkillingher.
“I’mnotongoodtermswithBlake.”I’dbeenonthe other side fortoolong.“However,afterhemadeMorganaimpotent, Vidargleanedall hecouldfromherandthesituation.Ibelievehe’spatchedall thoseholes.Ifhehasn’t,I’mnotprivytothe detailsfromeitherparty”
“Thereinliestheproblem,Iassume,”Anubissaid “You’renotongoodtermswithmostofthem?”
WasIsupposedtofeelbadthatheknewthat?Mostknewthat.“WhichiswhyI’vecometoyou.”
DeeplinescreasedAnubis’sforeheadashewentsilent. Ilethimthink
“TherewasGa-Gorib,”Anubissaid.“Thoughtindestructible,butdefeatedbybeingattackedfrombehind.”
I’dheardthestories,butdidn’thavemoredetailsthanwhatAnubisprovided.“Theremaybesomethingthere,butI’dneed toknowmore.”
“It’sbeencenturies,buttherearepeopleIcanask Thereareotherstoriesabouttakingsomeone’spower,butI’llneedto lookintothem”
“Thankyou.”Icouldn’texpressmygratitudeenough.“I’llbestayingnearby,availabletotalkagainwhenyouknowmore.” Anubislookedsurprised,butsimplysaid,“I’llbeintouch.”
The prospect ofananswer was promising, but it wasn’t enough. Everymoment Iwent without a concrete solutionwas anothermomentNico,Magnus,andourchildrenwereindanger
BEFORE I LEFT BRAGI…BEFORE I MET HIM…BEFORE I WITHDREW FROM THE WORLD,I WAS A DIFFERENT MAN. Itwasn’teasytoseewhileIlivedit Myoutlookshiftedwiththecalendar,withthedecadesandcenturies,amillimeterata time Fromonedaytothenext,Isawthesamemaninthemirror
Whenmymemoriesrushedbackinasingleblob,afewhoursago,everymomentI’dlived,regardlessofitssignificance, assaultedmeatthesametime.Ihadnosenseofhowoldornewamemorywas.
WhichwaswheremysurgeoffearonMagnus’sbehalfhadcomefrom.BragibeingatTOM,beingpartofthethingsthose studentssuffered,wasasfreshandnewinmymindasthefirsttimeIwasrebornand themostrecenttime Iwasstartingtomakesenseofsomeofthosememoriesnow.RealizingthatangerwasolderthanthegoodtimesI’dshared withhim.WithMagnus.
ThatmonthwithMagnus inBragi’s house, where neither she nor Iknew whathe was hiding, itwas atthe surface too. I graspedontoitbecauseIrecognizedit Irecognizedherandthatitwasrecent
WhenDahliareturnedwithourthings,IletMagnustellDahliamostofwhathadhappenedsincetheylastsaweachother itwasabiglistforjustafewdays whileIprocessedthejumbleinmymind.
“It’ssafestifyoustayhere,bothofyou,”DahliasaidwhenMagnuswasdone.“Nico,I’msureFreywouldn’tmindgetting youanapartment.Or…”
Magnuswassittingupinbednow ShegrabbedmyhandbeforeIcouldthinkofananswer “Or,youcouldstaywithme” Thisapartmentwasnearlyasbigasmyhouse,andherbedroomcertainlyhadenoughspacefortwopeople Thatwasn’tthe reasonIwantedtotakeheruponherofferthough.Witheverythingrightthereinmymind,Iwantedtobeclosertoher.“I’dlike that.”
“Doyouneedanythingelse?”Dahliaasked.
Magnusshookherhead “Ashower Agoodnight’ssleep”
“Moreanswersthatwecurrentlyhave,”Iadded Like,how didIremembereverythinginablink Whatcamenext?What hadIbeendoingforthelastcentury?
Iknewthatanswernow,howeverIwasn’tsatisfiedwithwhatIsawinmymind. “Icanleaveyoualonetogetthefirsttwo.We’llregroupforthelastone?”
Magnusnodded
Dahliagaveheraquickhug,andofferedmeatightsmileandanod,beforeleaving. “Youshowerfirst,”IsaidtoMagnus.“Yourhairwillneedlongertodry.”
She gave a tightlaugh. “Ihave a diffuser onmyhair dryer. Iadore thatthe world is fallingapartaround us, and you’re thinkingaboutmywethair I’mnotgoingtocatchacold”
“No Itcan’tbecomfortabletosleepon,though” “It’snot.I’llbebackinafew,Iguess.”
AsMagnusturnedtowardthebathroom,athoughtstoodoutamongthejumbleofmemories,andIgrabbedherwrist. Athersharpgasp,Iletgo.
Her, sorry wasbreathless “Emotion”
“Iunderstand” Somethingelse Iwas rememberingwas how Bragi dealtwiththe same “Isimplywantto say, whatyou
toldmeintheclearing thatyoudon’tknowwhatwehaveorwherewe’regoing?”
Linescreasedherforehead.“Yes?”
“ImeantwhatIsaid Wehavetime,andit’snotthemostimportantthingtofigureoutnow,regardless” “I’mglad.BecauseIstillwantto.”Magnusgavemeastiltedwave.“I’llbeoutsoon.” WhenMagnusemergedfromtheshower,Itookmyturn.
Amidstitall, Istruggled to sortthe snippets ofmypastinto recognizable images. Theymerged withthe time spentwith MagnusandBragiinthecabinoverthelastweek,andwiththewayMagnusapproachedlife
AfterBragi,butevenbefore,I’dwithdrawnfromtheworld Aftercenturiesoflosingfriends,itwaseasiertolethumanity andgodsbe,thaninvolvemyselfwiththem.
Hadthatbeentherightchoice?
WhenIfinishedmyshower,Magnuswasjustsayinggoodbye tosomeoneonthephone.
“That was Tatiana,” she said “She does tattoos, and she doesn’t know ifshe canhelp withwhat Ineed to control this conduitthing,butshesaidweshouldstopbytomorrow,andshe’dseewhatshecouldfindinthemeantime” “Ihopeshecanhelp.”
Immortalshealedinstantlyfrommostdamage,butmagicallyinflictedscarswereapossibility.Alotoftattooscontainedthe kindofmagicthatinsuredtheywouldstayonthemostdamage-resilientbeings.
“Metoo”Magnuspattedthemattressnexttoher “MayIaskyousomething?” “Ofcourse.”
“Whyareyoustillhere?Don’tgetmewrong I’mglad butyouknowwhoyouare.Youknowwhereyoucanhide.Your lifewasfinebeforeBragicalledyoutoreviveme,andeversince…”
Eversince,I’dbeenenmeshedinchaos ThesortoftroubleIhadintentionallysteeredclearof “It’sbeenalongtimesince Ienjoyedsomeone’scompanyasmuchasIdoyours”
“It’snotjustbecausethesexisgood?”sheteased.
Thetalkofsexdidn’tembarrassmebecauseIwasashamedofit.IthadbeenalongtimesinceIhadaphysicalconnection withsomeone,andIdidn’tknowhowI’dignoredthatneedfordecades.“Thesexisnotthereason,butIdoenjoyit.”
Thetwistofherlipsmademethinkshewaslookingformoreofananswer OrperhapsIsimplywantedtogiveone “Alot oflivesruntogetherwhenyou’vebeenaroundaslongasIhave”Thatsoundedcold,ratherthanreassuring “You’llunderstand inafewhundredyears.”Thatwasdismissive.
Magnusshookherhead.“IhopeIneverunderstandthat.”
“Metoo.”TheanswerslippedoutbeforeIcouldconsiderit.
Shetuggedattheblanketandcrawledhalfwayunder “Keepmecompanytonight?” Islippedunderthequilt,andshesnuggledintomyarmstheinstantIstoppedmoving Shewaswarm Soft Vulnerablefor someonesostrong.
Iwantedtowrapherupandhideherfromtherestoftheworld.WasthiswhatBragifelt? Icouldn’texcusehisactions,andhisnamemadememisswhenI’dhadthiswithhim.
Hewasn’therenow,Magnuswas Iwouldholdheraslongassheletme,andIwouldignorethewhisperinmymindofthe last time I had this…
Ididn’tsleep much, evenafter Magnus drifted offnextto me. Withthe silence around me, Ihad time to siftthroughmy memories.Tograbatsomeandtrytomakesenseofothers.Itwasaslowprocess,oneIdidn’texpectI’devercomplete,but puttingsomeordertothepieceswasnecessarytokeepmefromlosingmymind Idozedfitfully,butfullconsciousnessreturnedearlyinthemorning Itwastooeasytolayinbed,holdingMagnus,soIdid Whenshestirredafew hourslater,Icouldn’thelpbutwatchherwakeup.Thatslow climbtowardconsciousnesswhere herbreathingshifted.Shemoved,butdidn’tpullawayfromme.Shestretchedandslowlyopenedhereyes. “What?”Sheaskedthemomentshesawme.
Igaveherasmile “Simplyenjoyingtheview”
Shepushedupontoherelbows,andpokedmynoseplayfully “Watchingpeoplesleepiscreepy”
“Forthepersonsleeping.Formeitwasperfectlyacceptable,”Iteased.
“You’reright,youaredifferentthanbefore.”Magnussatupandstretchedagain,elongatingherentiretorso,andgivingme astunningshowwhenhershirtstretchedtightlyoverherbreastsandstomach Ididn’tpullmygazeaway,andIdidn’ttrytohidethestaring.“Inagoodway,Iassume.”
“Dunnoyet.We’llfindout.”Atthesoundofaknockfromthefrontdoor,shewrinkledhernose.“Getthat?”
“Youwantmetoanswerthedoorinyourapartment?”
“It’s almost definitely Dahlia It’s not like the folks are dropping by unexpec ” She trailed off with a frown “Yes, please”
“Asyouwish,mymistress.”Iclimbedfromthebedandgaveheradeepbow. Thatearnedmeatinysmile,andIpocketedtheexpressionasIwenttoseewhowasvisiting. ThemomentIopenedthedoor,Dahliaslippedpastme.“Isshestillsleeping? Get up lazy bum,”sheshouted. “She’sawake Shewantedamomenttogetdecent”
“By get decent he means pull myhair outofmyface” Magnus emerged fromher roomwearingthe same camisole and shortsshe’dsleptin,butherwildcurlswerenowrestrained.“You’resonoisy.”
Dahliastuckhertongueout.“You’resolazy.Iwantcoffee.”
“Soyoushouldhavebroughtussome.”Magnus’stonewasstilllight.Theentireexchangecouldsoundcrabbyunderother circumstances,butthewomen’ssmilesandliltingtonesmademethinkthiswasatypical,funexchangeforthem Dahliastrolledpastbothofus.“AmIgoingtoseeanythingIdon’twantto? Toobad.Should’ve hiddenit.” She walked intoMagnus’sbedroomwithoutpause.
Magnusfollowedtothedoorway,andpaused,watchingtheroom.
“Getdressed”Dahliatossedsomething,andMagnuscaughtitwithouthesitation Anothersomethingfollowed,andthena third
Magnusstrippedoffthetopshe’dsleptin,andpulledonasport’sbra.Therewasnohesitationonherpart.Noglanceback atme.“Stillwonderingwherethecoffeeis,”shesaidasshebuttoneduptheshirtshe’dbeenthrown.
“I’mthinkingSeattle.”Dahliaemergedfromtheshadowsoftheroomtojoinus.
Ihadseenclosefriendshipsbefore,butthiswasunfamiliar HowhadIgoneeonswithoutwitnessingadynamiclikethis?It wasaclosenessevenmostloversdidn’thave
Why didn’t you call someone you know? Magnusaskedmethatlastnight.Asimplequestion,butitnaggedmenow.
Shedroppedhershorts,steppedoutofoneleg,andusedtheotherlegtokickthemintotheairandcatchthem.Shetossed herdiscardedclothesacrossherroom,tolandinahamperagainstthewall,thenshimmiedintothejeansDahliahadprovided.
This wasn’tthe struggling, sad womanIknew fromwhenshe was recoveringatBragi’s And the traces ofparanoia I’d seenonbeingreintroducedafewdaysagohadbeentuckedawayaswell
As withme comparingmyselfto mypast, this was a differentMagnus. Iliked eachaspectofher, butIwanted to know moreaboutthisone.
“Ifwe’regoingtoSeattleforcoffee,areeitherofyouconcernedaboutbeingoutinpublic?”Ihatedtobethedisruptionin thisconversation
Dahlialookedatme.Stared.Severalsecondspassed,andsheraisedhereyebrows. Magnusglancedoverhershoulder.“Iassumeeveryonewillstareifyougooutlikethat.”
What? I Right. Iclimbed outofbed to answer the door, whichmeantIwas innothingbutmyboxers. “Ishould also dress”
Magnus grabbed Dahlia’s hand, tugged her out of the room, and moved bothof themout of the doorway “We’ll wait” Magnussaid.
“Butnotlong,”DahliacalledasIclosedthedoorbetweenus.
“Hedoesn’tknowusyet.”Magnus’sretortwasstillaudible.“Hethinksthisisweird.”
Shecouldfeelmyemotions IwasusedtothatfromBragi,butnother “Notinabadway”Iraisedmyvoiceenoughtobe heard
Dahlialaughed.“See?Besides,heneedstogetusedtoit.Hurryandgetdressed,”shecalled.“I’mhungry.” Isawnoreasontoargue.Infact,doingsomightbedangerous.IquicklypulledonsomeclothesandrejoinedMagnusand Dahliainthelivingroom
MagnushookedoneofherarmsthroughmineandtheotherthroughDahlia’s,andablinklater,wewereinanewlocation. Theprotectiveshieldthetwokeptarounduswasafaintshimmerbarelyvisibletome.
Westeppedintoabuildingthatradiatedcomfortandfamiliarity,thoughI’dneverbeenherebefore.Thescentsofroasted coffeeandfreshpastriesrushedaroundus
Magnusworeabrightsmileaswestrodetothecounter Shelookedatease Happy WhenIwalked awayfromBragi, itwas because he’d cuthimselfofffromcaring. He’d withdrawninto himselfand the painhefeltaroundhim,andIcouldn’twatchit.Icouldn’tbewithsomeonewhowoulddothat.WhatIdidinstead…Wasit thatmuchdifferent?
“Whatareyouhaving?”MagnusandDahliaaskedeachotheratthesametime,andthenlaughed “Idon’tknow”Magnuslookedatme “Whatareyouhaving?” “Blackcoffee.”
Dahliamadearudenoisewithherlips.“You’resuchanadult.” Iwasunsurewheretheinsultwas.“Asarebothofyou.”
“Nah”Magnuswrinkledhernose “We’reinourearlythirties,butwe’redefinitelynotadults” Ididn’tunderstand,butsheseemedconfidentinheranswer.
There were a lotofthings Ino longer understood aboutthe world around me, and ithadn’tbothered me before. Now, I wantedtolearn.
Bragiwasn’ttheonlyonewhohadpulledbackfromtheworld Ihadtoo Afterseeingsomanypeoplecomeandgoinmy lifetime,withBragibeingthemostrecentdisappointment
Unlikewhathedid,Ididn’tturntohurtingothersinordertopunishmyself. No.Myinactioncostotherstheirlivesthough.
“I’vegotit.”Magnus’s cheer was acontrasttomydarkeningthoughts.“Iwantthechocolatefrap,extrawhip,andsalted sprinks”
“Ooh” Dahlia continued to studythe menu “Thatsounds good, butIwantcinnamoninstead ofsprinks And a cinnamon roll.Orafruittart.Orablueberrymuffin. Fuck. ”
“Icouldgetthetart,andyougetthemuffin.We’llshare,”Magnussaid.
ThiswassomethingIknewandenjoyed.Sharingfoodandmealtimewithfriends.“Thecinnamonrolldoeslookdelicious.” “It’s decided” Magnus tugged me toward the counter “And don’tworryaboutthe other thing youcanhave your black coffeetoday,butwe’llfigureouthowtoundaultyou”
“Howwillyouknowyou’vesucceeded?”IaskedasDahliaordered. Ihandedthecashiermoneywhenshegaveusthetotal.
Withthelastweekfreshinmymind,andmyentirepastnearthesurface,Icouldn’thelpbutexaminewhoIwasoverthe centuries MagnusexplainingStarWarstome Watchingitwithher Mymemoryofflyingafewdaysagoasifitwerefor thefirsttimeblendedwiththeearlydayswhenflightwasstillanincrediblerush.
Imissedthatappreciationfortheworldaroundme.ThatloveoflifethatIsawinMagnus. Dahliapointedtowardtablesoutside.“You’llknowyou’vebeenunadultedwhenyoustopworryingaboutpantswhenyou goout”
“Trousersareimportant”Iwantedtounderstand Itrulydid
“Whoneedspantswhenyouhavelegslikethese?”Dahliagestureddown,pastthebottomofherskirt.
Iglancedatherandthenmyself.“Idon’thavelegslikethose.Idoneedpants.”
“Don’tsellyourselfshort.”Magnustuggedonmywaistband,pullingmecloser.“Ithinkyouhavesexylegs.”
WhenMagnus andIweregettingtoknow eachother,whenwewerestayingwithBragi,she’dspentmorethanonenight remembering Dahlia She’dtoldmeDahlia’sbiologicalparentswereSkuldandVidar
IhadtoimaginethatforVidar,seeingthiswaswhatDahliabecame,hemusthavebeensofurious. HowwonderfulforDahlia.
Thetwoofthemkeptupthebackandforthwhilewetookourfood,andfoundatableoutsideinthesun Wesetthethree differentplatesoffoodinthecenterofthetable,sothatwecouldallreach. Magnuspluckedastrawberryfromthefruittart.
“Ittastesbetterifyoueatitalltogether,”Isaid.
“I’mnottheoneeatingit”Shepressedthestrawberrytomylips Iwaswrong Thiswouldbedelicious Idrewthefruitintomymouth,alongwithherfinger,lickingenoughtoteasebefore releasingher.
Magnus’sgigglewassweeterthanthestrawberry.
“Hey.Thirdwheelhere.”DahliasmudgedfrostingontoMagnus’scheek.
Magnusreachedforanapkin “Butyoulovetowatch” “Iloveto be watched Hugelydifferent,”Dahliasaid
IgrabbedMagnus’swristbeforeshecouldwipethefrostingaway,andleanedintopressmymouthtothemess.Ilickedthe stickysweetnessaway.
Magnus’ssighwascontentmentwhereDahlia’swasfrustration.
“You’resopouty”MagnuspluckedacrumbleandblueberryfromthemuffinandgrounditintoDahlia’snose Dahlia’stongueslidbetweenherlips,growinglongerandsnakelikeassheextendeditup,tolickthetipofherownnose clean.Thenshestuckhershiftedtongueoutbeforeitvanishedintohermouth.
This was ludicrous, and I wanted to experience more of it. I’d ignored this part of life for so long, and I couldn’t any longer
Bragiwasrightaboutonething Magnuswasabrightlightinthemiddleofthebleakness,andshemademewanttolive again,ratherthanjustexisting.
When we were done with breakfast, we headed to New Orleans. The building was similar in size to my house, with woodenshutters openwide. The paintonthe shutters was chipped and peeling, as were the layers ofstucco, revealingthe differentcolorstheshophadbeenoverthedecades Thesignoverthedoorproclaimed Real Voodoo inneonredletters
“Ithoughtyouweregettingatattoo,”Isaid Magnusquirkedhermouthinahalf-smile.“Weare.Tatianaisawomanofmanytalents.”
“Is she someone youwentto school with?” I’d knownprobablylonger thanthese two thatthe gods atTOMwere doing horrificthings.Knownandturnedaway.BlamedBragiforperpetuatingit,butignoreditmyself.Meetingthepeopleitimpacted drovethatpointhome
Dahliashookherheadandpulledusinside “No She’sfuckedupinherownway” “Who is?” The womanbehind the counter was about the same age as Magnus and Dahlia. She had darkskin, and was nearlyastallasIwas.Slender,andstatuesque.Theshimmeraroundherwasaschaoticastheshopinterior. Iduckedundertheassortmentofmasksandothertrinketsthathungfromtheceiling.
“Youare,”Magnussaid “Hey,girl”
The womangrinned and stepped frombehind a counter covered withcorked bottles invarious shapes and sizes. “Hey, yourself.”ShepulledMagnusintoaquickhugandthenDahlia.
TatianasteppedbacktotakeasecondlookatMagnus.“You’repregnant.”
“Fuckme,caneveryonetell?”Magnussoundedexasperated “Idon’tknowabouteveryone,butIcanseetwootherfaintauras,and oh my God, congratulations ”Tatianafinishedwith asqueal.“CanIsayaprayerforthem?Toprotectthem?”
Oddrequestforsomeonewhoknewgodswerereal. Magnusscowled.“Prayersdon’twork.”
“Agreetodisagree,”Tatianasaid
Magnus’snostrilsflaredwithherexhale
“Ifyoudon’tbelieve,thenitdoesn’thurtyou.”Tatiana’svoicesoftened.“Letmedoitformyownsanity?”
“Fortherecord,Ihatethatargument,”Magnussaid.“Butyou’reawesome,soifitwillmakeyoufeelbetterokay.”
TatianahoveredherhandsoverMagnus’sstomach,andhermouthmovedinsilentwords Thefaintestglowradiatedfrom herhands,vibrantgreenandsoothing.WhenTatianapulledherhandsaway,sheturnedtome.
“Who’stheprettyboy?”
Iextendedmyhand.“Nicodemus.YoucancallmeNico.”
As she shookmyhand, and a blanklooksettled onher face She shookitoffwitha furrowed brow, while studyingme “You’velivedalotoflives”
“Youcanseethat?”
“Inaway.MostlyIsenseit.”
“He’saphoenix,”Magnusoffered.“Nico,TatianaisaValkyrie.”
Fascinating
“Pleasuretomeetyou,MisterPhoenix,”Tatianasaid,thenturnedtoMagnus “You’rehereforyou,though” Magnusnodded.“Canyoudoit?”
“Ittooksomediggingtofindwhatyouwereaskingfor,butyes.”Tatiananoddedtowardabeadedcurtain.
ItookinasmuchofoursurroundingsasIcouldasweheadedthroughtheshop.Thecraftworkinfigurinesandbottlesand maskswasstunningandunique,andthescentswerepotent Chatterdriftedinfromthestreetandcombinedwithamusicbarely audiblethroughhiddenspeakers.
I’dbeenhiddenawayforsolongthatthiswasallnewtome.
Inthenextroom,TatianasetMagnusupinalargechair,andindicatedthatDahliaandIcouldtakeseatsonabenchbythe wall
“Thesewon’tstopwhatyou’reexperiencingwiththepowersurges,”Tatianaexplainedwhileshearrangedherworkspace “They’remorelikealeakyfaucet.Ineedtherightsideofyourneckexposed.”
Magnus undid the first few buttons on her shirt and slipped it down her shoulder, showing off her long, elegant neck. “That’snotencouraging.”
“I’mlooking into something stronger, but this will make a difference for now You’ll still have control over what gets through It’llkeepyoufromdealingwithanon-stoponslaught”TatianascootedherchairuptoMagnus,andpreppedthearea for the tattoo. “The glyphs are meant to stop a smaller power, rather than being for someone hosting two other magical entities.”
Shemeantthebabies.
Magnus’snostrilsflaredwiththedeepbreathshetook “Understood Let’sdoit” TatianausedapentodrawaseriesofglyphsontoMagnus’sskin,whileglancingbetweenherphonescreenandherhuman canvas. Ididn’trecognize the symbols, butIknew enoughaboutvarious writtenlanguages to see the precisioninTatiana’s work.
A pale glow buzzed around her tattoo gun as she began the actual inking. While she worked, we all chatted. Banal conversationatfirst Howhadeveryonebeen?Hadanyoneseenorreadanythinggoodlately?WhywasMagnusdecidingnow todothis?
Thelongerwetalked,themoreTatiana’saccentchanged.Whatstartedasifshe’dlearnedtotalkfromaHollywoodmovie hadmoreofaFrenchorCajuntwangtoit.
“ andthenVidar ”Dahliatrailedoffwithafrown,andMagnusclenchedherjaw “Youneedtorelaxtheneck,Boo”WarningslidintoTatiana’svoice
Correction distinctly Cajun. Something I saw with older immortals was that some adopted the accent or dialect of whateverregiontheywerein,tokeepalowprofile.However,whentheywerearoundfriends,theywouldslidebackintotheir preferredlanguage.
Itmademeabitsadforthisyoungwomanthatshe’dlearnedthatlessonsoearly Magnusdrewinafewbreaths,andthetensionvisiblyfadedfromherbody
“Anytimey’all talkabouthomme,y’all beboudein’,”Tatianasaid.“Cofaire?Dahliatellsme.MagnusstopstalkingsoI canwork.”
Dahliablewoutanoiseraspberry “Shortversion?He’sanassholegod” “Gonnaneedafewmoredetailsthanthat.”Tatianawasfocusedonherworkagain.
“Hewasoneofourteachersinschool,”Dahliasaid.“Hehadthatkindofairaroundhimthatmadepeopleflocktohimand followhim.Heneverhesitatestouseit.Turnsouthe’sapower-hungryassholewho’swillingtorolloveranyoneandeveryone togetmorepower”
“What’shedoingwithit?”TatianaglancedoverhershoulderatDahliaforthebriefestmoment
Iknew whathe’dtoldBragi,butwasn’tsureifitwasreality,orjustanotherstory.“Heusedtosayhewantedtoturnthe worldintotheparadiseitusedtobe.”
Tatianasnorted.“Idon’tgetit.Howdoesaguylikethatgetsomanypeopletofollowhim?Notjudgingy’all,butIalsoam. Howdoesazeerahvieuxlikethatconvinceanyonehe’sapodna?”
Iwasn’tfamiliarwiththewordsshewasusing,butIcouldguesshermeaningwellenoughtomostlyfillintheblanks She thoughtVidarwasbad,anddidn’tknowhowhe’dtrickedpeopleintothinkingotherwise. Dahliaworkedherjaw.“It’sweirdtosaynow,buthe’scharismatic.Attractive.Confident…”Shedidn’tsoundcertainof anythingshewassaying.
“Stilldunbuyit,”Tatianasaid
Itwasdifficulttoexplaintosomeonewhohadn’tbeenthere,butIwaswillingtotry.“I’veknownhimfor alongtime.I nevercalledhimfriend,butforcenturies,hewasgoodfriendswiththemanIloved.” Magnusflinched.
BecauseofthereminderofBragi,orVidar’sinfluence,orsomethingelse?
“Vidardoesn’twalkuptoanyoneandintroducehimselfbysayingI want to destroy the world you know and you ’ re going to help, ” Isaid. “Notunless he’s givenup onmakinganallyofyou, and he wants youto thinkhe no longer sees youas a threat.”
Tatianasighedandshookherhead.“Istilldon’tgetit.”
Ihadn’teither Notforalongtime IcurrentlyhadauniqueperspectivethatallowedmetoexplainVidar’sdrawbetterthan Ieverwantedto
