Pyromancer’sPath
Warrior’sWrath
Mage’sMercy
Tinker’sTrial
Ranger’sRisk Shadow’sSavior
Alyssa
“God,Ihatethistown”
Iwas drivingwest, awayfromTampa International Airport, over the CourtneyCampbell Causewayand into Clearwater. I didn’thateClearwater,Florida,becauseitwasobjectivelybad Allofmyreasonswereassubjectiveastheygot Growingup here,therewerenothingbutbadmemorieswaitingforme.Ihadn’tbeenbackhereineightyears,notsinceIleftforcollege. Eightyearsfeltlikeaneternity,butsomehownotlongenough.
WhenIturnedintothe quietneighborhoodthatwas less thana mile fromthe water,all those badmemories came flooding backtome Thepalmtreesandperfectly-manicuredgrassfelteverybitasfakeastheflamingolawnornaments Thebrightlycoloredsingle-storyhousesmightholdabeachycharmforanyothervisitor,butformetheyweremerelycoatsofpaintover rottinginteriors.MyanxietyhadbeenrisingeverymilethecloserIgottothisplace,andnow Iwaspracticallybuzzingwith nerves
WhyhadIdecidedtodothis?Whydidn’tIletBranditakecareofitallonherown?
Intheblinkofaneye,Iwasonourstreet ThesameoneIhadgrownupon,ridingbikesupanddownthesidewalkunderthe Florida sun, racinghome fromschool to avoid the dailyafternoonshowers. The hair onthe backofmyneckwentstiffas I passedanelectricbluehouse,thesamecolorithadbeenwhenIwasagirl
Jack’s house…
ButIhadforgottenall aboutthat,because myhouse mymother’s house was twodoors downfromit.Strangely,Ifelta senseofcalmwashover measitcameintoview,aone-storyrancher withprettygoodwhitepaint Therewasnocar inthe driveway,butIparkedonthestreetoutofhabit,takingcarenottoblockthemailbox.Ourmotherhadneverallowedustopark inthedriveway Strangehowharditwasforoldhabitstodie,littlepracticesinlifethatarewritteninourmindssomanytimes theyleaveanafterimage,likeanoldtelevisionsetpausedfortoolong. Iturnedthecaroff,butcouldn’tmakemyselfopenthedoor.
Istillfeltcalm.Mostoftheanxietyoftheflight,andthendrive,wasgone.ButIdidn’twanttogetoutofthecar.Gettingout ofthecarmeantgoinguptothefrontdoor,whichmeantgoinginsidethehouse,whichmeantstartingamonumental new task thatwouldtakeweeks Onceallofthatbegan,thepeaceIfeltwouldbegone ThelongerIsatinmycar,thelongerthatpeace remained.
Tenminuteslater,myphonerang.Itwasmysister.
“Hi,Brandi.”
“Alyssa!Isawyourflightlandedontime.Everythinggood?Yougettoyourhotelyet?”
“Idecidedtocomestraighttothehouse.I’vebeensittingoutsidealittlewhile.” Therewasapause “Youdidn’twanttowait?”
Itookadeepbreath,thenletitout “IknowthatifIdelay,it’sjustgoingtoextendmyanxiety Iwanttogetitoverwith” “Butyou’vebeensittingoutsideawhile?”
“Tenminutes IthinkI’mafraidtogoinside”
Mytwinsisterchuckled.“Iknow thefeeling.Whenthepolicecalledmelastweek,Idrovestraightdownanddidthesame thing Iparkedonthecurbandstayedinmycarforanhourbeforegivingupandgoinghome”
“Youdidn’tparkinthedrivewayeither?”
“Andpissofftheghostofourmother?Hellno I’veonlyparkedinthedrivewayonce,andshegroundedmeforaweek” “YoumissedtheJonasBrothersconcert Iremember”
“Listen,” Brandi said “IwishIcould have come downtoday, butIcan’tgetoutofthis
aboutyougotoyourhotel,getwine-drunkinthelobby,andthenwecangoinsidethehousetomorrow Together”
Itwastempting.Itwastheeasything,towaitformytwinandleanonherforemotionalsupport.ButIhadn’tcomedownhere todotheeasything.
“I’llbeallright,”Isaid.“I’llletyouknowifIneedanything.Loveyoulots.”
“Loveyoumore,”shereplied.“I’lltextyouwhenI’montheroadtomorrow.”
Despitenotwantingtorelyonmytwinforemotionalsupport,talkingtoherhadfilledmytankwithenoughcourageforone braveact.Iwalkeduptothecementporchandfoundthekeyunderoneofthepaintedrocks,whereithadalwaysbeen.Before Icouldover-thinkthings,Iunlockedthedeadbolt,swungthedooropen,andsteppedinside.
Thescentofcigarettesandpine-scentedcleanerimmediatelytransportedmeadecadebackwardsintime.Itwasstrangehow houses never losttheir distinctive smell itremained constantacross the years, like a fingerprint. Aside fromthe scent, the housefeltdifferentthanIremembered Smaller,andwithadifferentfeel toit
It’s because our mother isn’t here
Mother had died nine days ago. Iwasn’tsad aboutitbecause she was a terrible person, and anevenworse mother. Ever sincewewereoldenoughtoformmemories,shehadmadeitabundantlyclearthatweweren’therchildren wewere chains inherlife,holdingherback.Wewerethereasonherbusinesswasn’tsuccessful,thereasonshecouldn’tfindagoodhusband, the reasonNewt Gingrichlost the 2012 RepublicanPrimary She had never outright blamed us for that last one, but when RomneywonthenominationoverGingrich,shesureactedlikeitwasourfault.
Istartedwalkingaroundthehouse,becausewalkingmademefeellikeIwasdoingsomething.Thegaragewasthefirstroom ontheright Mom’swhiteCadillacDeVillewasparkedinside,justasitwaswhenIlefteightyearsago Thesmellofwood was strong;the workbenchthatoccupied the other halfofthe garage was covered withscrap, sawdust, and wood shavings, witha few newer-lookingcardboardboxes arrangedunderneath.Iguess our mother hadstill beenworkingrightupuntil the end
AsIturnedaway,Icaughtsightofthecircuitbreaker Thedoorwasgone,andextrawiressnakedoutofthegreyframinglike locksoffrizzyhair.Isnortedatthesight.Yetanotheroneofherdestructivebehaviorsthathadn’tchangedsinceIhadleft.
Pastthegarage,inasmallhallwayallbyitself,werethetwosmallerbedrooms.Onewasourmother’soffice,whichwasso filledwithfabricandhalf-upholsteredfurniturethatIcouldbarelywalkaroundinside Theotherwasthebedroomshemade BrandiandIshare.Thatroomwasemptyexceptforourtwinbeds,positionedonoppositeendsoftheroom,oneundereach window.Therewerenosheets,justtheoldmattressessittingnakedontheframes.Theroomhadbeenrepaintedfrompinktoa harshshadeofwhite Itdidn’tsurprisemethatshehadgottenridofeverythingBrandiandIhadlefthere,butIwasshocked shedidn’tdosomethingelsewiththespace.Shedidn’tmovehalfherfabricinhere,orturnitintoaclichéexerciseroom.She leftitempty,withthedoorclosed,likeshewantedtopretendtheroom andallmemoriesofus nolongerexisted
The primarybedroomwas attached to the livingroom. Ionlyglanced inside before movingthroughthe restofthe house: livingroom, diningroom, kitchen Everythingwas sterile and cold, just like it had beenwhenwe lived here Just like our motherherselfhadbeen.
Ifeltbetterafterwalkingthroughthehouse.Itfeltlikeconfirmationthatshewasreallygone.Partofmybrainwasnodding along,acceptingthisnewworld Icouldfeelitstretchingitsarmsandrealizingjusthowmuchbiggermyrealitynowwas I’m glad I came This is therapeutic Withrenewedcourage,Icalledthehotelandcanceledmyreservation Brandiwasgoingtobestayinghere,soIcoulddothe same.Andlikeagoodsister,Icouldpreparetheplaceforher.Withoutourmotherhere,thiswasjustahousemadeofwood andbrickandplaster.Itwasn’tanythingtobeafraidof.Iwastwenty-six,damnit,notalittlegirlanymore.
Thepantrywasbare,andthefridgeheldonlyafewcondimentsandhalfaloafofbread,soIdrovetothestoretogetsome supplies Igotallthebasics,includingnewcondimentsandbread Eventhoughthefewitemsinthefridgeweren’texpired,I wanted to toss everything. If nothing remained, we would have a fresh start. Brandi, especially. I was only staying here a coupleofweeks,butshewasgoingtodrivedownandstayhereforhoweverlongittooktosettleallofourmother’saffairs. Wewerefraternaltwins,andshehadgottenallofthelogicalgenesthathelpedwithscienceandmath,whileIwasblessed or cursed withtheartisticstreak.Sheworkedforaninsurancecompany,doingsomethingmath-related.
BranditextedwhileIwascheckingout:
Brandi:Youokay?Igaveyouexactly30minutesandIhaven’theardanything,so eitheryou’restillsittinginyourcar,oryou’realreadygettingwinedrunkatthehotel.
Me:I’mdoingsurprisinglygood!Walkingthroughthehouseactuallymademefeela
lotbetter.
Me:Seriously,I’mgreat.BetterthanIexpected,honestly.
Brandi:That’sgreat!Iknowexactlywhatyoumean.
Brandi:Oratleast,IhopeI’llfeelthesamewaytomorrowwhenIwalkaround inside.I’mhopingtogettherebylunch.I’lltakeyoutothatsandwichshopafter:-)
Me:I’dlikethat!
WhenIdrovehome,Ieyedtheelectric-bluehousetwodoorsdownfromoursagain
Thathousestirredjustasmanyemotions asourmother’shome,althoughinatotallydifferentway.IgaveastartwhenIsaw twoboys,bothwithsandy-blondhair,go runningacrossthefrontyard.Aprettywomanwithflowingblondehairrosefromthegardenshewastendingtosaysomething tothem
Itwaslikeavicehadgrippedmyheart DidJackstilllivethere?Wasthathiswife,andhiskids?
IletoutasighofreliefwhenInoticedthefatherstandingonaladder,cleaningoutthegutters Amanthatwasdefinitelynot JackFranco,theboyIhadgrownupwith.IfJackstilllivedthere,thatwouldhavemadethistripa lot tougher.
Hehadprobablymovedoutoftownliketherestofus.Healways likedtosaythathewas goingtostayinClearwater his entirelife,butpeoplesaidalotofthingswhentheywereteenagers.Brandihadpromisedme,onmorethanoneoccasion,that shewouldmarryLeonardoDiCaprio “Fatchance,nowthatwe’retwenty-six!”Isaidoutloud,laughingatmyownstupidjoke IwouldneedtorepeatittoBrandiwhenIsawhertomorrow.
AsIapproachedourhouse,Ithoughtabouthow good Ifelt.Ourmotherhadbeenanemotionalburden,andnowthatshewas gone,thatburdenwaslifted Itwasawfultofeelthatway,ofcourse,butthat’sjusthowitwas
Maybe this trip won’t be so bad after all I’ll be here two weeks Maybe three Brandi and I will spend a lot of time together settling our mother’s affairs at home, and at her upholstery shop downtown, and then I can go back to my own life.
Iparkedinthedrivewaythistime,anactofdefiance.Iplayedmusicinthekitchenwhilecookingdinner;ourmother hated music, and had always insisted thatwe use headphones so thatshe wouldn’tbe distracted fromher work. For the firsttime sincewemovedinbackin2009,thehouseactuallyfeltalive Aplacewherealovingfamilyfulloflovingpeoplebelonged
IunwrappedthenewbedsheetsIhadboughtandmadebothtwinbeds IhopedBrandiwouldn’tmindsharingaroomagain;I thoughtitwould feel like we were havinganadultsleepover. And ifnot, we could cleanall the fabric and junkoutofour mother’sofficeandmoveabedinthere.
Wecoulddowhateverwewanted.
Thatnight,forthefirsttime,Ifellasleepinthathousewithoutanytrouble. Iwoketoachaoticinferno.
“Ilovethistown!”Brandisaidintheseatnexttome.
Alyssa 2009
Ihadmyownfacepressedagainsttheglass,gazingoutatallthehousespassingbyaswedrovethroughtheneighborhood.I didn’t have much worldly experience at age ten, but so far it was obvious that Florida was a massive improvement over Georgia.Atleast,Clearwaterwas.
“Lookatthatone!”Brandiexclaimed.“It’s three stories!” “Wooow.”
“Pipedownbackthere,”mymomsnapped,pausingtotakeadragfromhercigarette
“Ican’tconcentrateontheroadwhile you’rebothyappingaway.Idon’tknowwhyyouinsistonsittingintheback,either.I’mnotyourchauffeur.Nexttimewemove, I’mmakingoneofyousitinthefront”
BrandiandIglancedateachother,thenrolledoureyes,whichsetusintoafitofgiggles.Momhadcomplainedaboutbeing ourchauffeuratleastadozentimesduringthedrivedownfromAtlanta,andwehaddiscreetlyrolledoureyeseachtime We weren’tthe ones who chose the back she had putthe dogbed inthe frontseatso Duchess, our GoldenDoodle, could sit there
Butwewereusedtoherblamingeverythingonus Itmighthavebeentougherifwewerealone,butBrandi andIhadeach other,whichhelpedusgetthroughit.
“Isthatit?”Brandisuddenlyasked.“Is that ourhouse?”
“There’samovingtruckinfrontofit,isn’tthere?”Mommuttered.
MyjawdroppedwhenMompulledthecarintothedriveway Itwasasimpleone-storyhouse,withagarageandcleanwhite paint.Buttooureyes,itwasamansion.Especiallycomparedtotheapartmentcomplexwehadcomefrom.
WeignoredMom’scomplaints,jumpingoutofthecarandrushinginside,dodgingthetwomovingmenwhowerealreadyat work We had spent much of the car ride discussing our new roomand how we were going to decorate it, which was an extremely serious topic, but it was mostly hypothetical since we didn’t know what our room looked like. The first two bedroomsweresmall,althoughonehadabathroom.Whenwediscoveredtheprimarybedroominthebackofthehousewith Mom’sfour-postbedalreadymovedinside,werushedbacktothefirsttworooms
“Whyaretheymovingourboxesintothatroom?”Iasked “Thisistheonewiththebathroom” “Mom!”Brandiwhined “Whichbedroomisours?”
Shesteppedthroughthefrontdoor,removedhersunglasses,andsighedhappily “Theonewithyourstuffinit,silly” “Whatabouttheotherroom?”Iasked.“Withthebathroom?”
“That’smyoffice.Ineedtheroomfor all myfabricsandwork.Your bedroomfacesthefront,soyou’ll gettolookoutside more.Andbefore Ihear anymore complaints aboutthe bathroom,there’s one inthe hall.Youdon’twanttohear your sister peeingfivefeetaway,doyou?”
Evenatelevenyears old, Brandi and Iwere alreadyused to Mombeinga pain. We knew thatarguingwithher would be pointless Butmoreimportantly,weweren’tgoingtoletthisruinourexcitementforanewhouse Thiswasourfreshstart “Iloveit!”Isaidaswetookinourroom.“Therearetwowindows,oneforeachbed.Thenwe’lleachhaveourown.” “Goodidea!”Brandireplied.
“Excuseme,littlema’am,”oneofthemoverssaid.“We’rebringingyourbedsinnow.” Mom’ssighcouldbeheardfromtheotherroom.“Youtwoarealwaysintheway.Whydon’tyougoplayoutsidesoyou’re notbotheringthesenicemen Gomakesomefriendsintheneighborhood We’reclosetoyourschool,sothereshouldbelotsof kidsaround.”
Our bikes weren’teasilyaccessible inthe movingtruck, butthe movers were nice enoughto unload a few items onto the lawnsotheycouldgetthe bikes.The tires were still full,sowe hoppedonandbeganriding.This neighborhoodhada nice pavedwalkingpath,sowedidn’tevenneedtorideinthestreet!
Thetwoofuswerehappierthanwehadeverbeeninourlives Wehadanewhouseinanewstate,thesunwasshining,and thefuturelookedbright.Werodeupanddowneverystreetintheneighborhood,pointingoutthehouseswhereitlookedlike kidsmightlive
Brandi and Ihad always done everythingtogether Beingtwins meantwe were never alone Thatwas a good thing, butit meantwedidn’talwaystryhardtomakefriends.Brandi andIhadagreedthatwewoulddoourbesttomakenew friendsin Florida,andweweren’tgoingtowasteanytime.
Afterridingforawhile,wecameuponahousethreestreetsoverwithseveralkidsplayingonthefrontlawn.BrandiandI exchangedgrinsandpedaledfaster Therewerethreeboysthrowingabaseballaround,andtwoyoungergirlswhoweresitting inthegrassrollingasoccerballbackandforth.
Brandiwasthemoreoutgoingone,sosheimmediatelywavedandsaid,“Hi!”
Alankyboywithsandy-blondhairmadeafaceatus.Hewasclosesttoourage,whiletheothertwoboyswereyounger.“Hi rhymeswithbye.Asin,getlost.”
I didn’t understand what he meant, so I hopped off my bike and approached. “Hello! I’m Alyssa, and this is my sister, Brandi”
“Hellorhymeswithyellow,”theboysaid,“whichisthecolorof pee ”Theboysalllaughedlikeitwasthefunniestjokein theworld.
They have a dumb sense of humor in Florida.
“YourootfortheBraves?”oneoftheyoungerboysasked,noticingBrandi’sredshirt. “Duh!They’rethebest,”Brandisaid.
Thethreeboyslaughedagain “TheBravesstink EveryonehererootsfortheRays TheywenttotheWorldSeries” “Yeah,buttheylosttothePhillies!”Ipointedout
Oneoftheboyswhistled “Didyouhearthat,Jack?”
“Suredid,”theboywiththesandy-blondhairsaidwhileglaringatme “Letmeexplainittoyou,Alyssa TheRayswonthe AmericanLeaguePennant.TheBravesdidn’tevenmakeittotheplayoffs.”
“AtleasttheBraveshavewonbefore!”Brandishotbackathim “Theywonitallin1995 TheDevilRayshave never won WhichmeanstheBravesarebetter.”
Inoddedalong.EveryoneknewtheBraveswerethebest.
Jackbarked a laugh. “Shows how muchyouknow. They’re notthe Devil Rays anymore they’re justthe Rays. And who careswhattheBravesdidallthewaybackin1995?Thatwasprobablybeforeyouwereborn.Howoldareyou,anyway?” “We’rebotheleven,”Isaid,stickingoutmychin.
Jacklookedateachofus.“Howcanyoubethesameageifyou’resisters?” “We’retwins,”Iexplained.“We’rethe exact sameage,althoughI’mtenminutesolder.” Oneoftheyoungerboysfrowned.“You’renottwins.Youdon’tevenlookalike.” “Youhavedifferenthair,”Jackadded.“Nicetry.” “We’re fraternal twins,”Iexplained.“That’sdifferentthanidentical twins.” “That’sonlyifoneisaboyandoneisagirl,”theyoungerkidinsisted “Wehavefraternaltwinsinmyclass” “Youcanhavetwogirls,too!”Brandiargued “Nuhuh,”theyoungerboyreplied “Yesyoucan!”Iinsisted “We’reproof” “You’realiar.Bothofyou.”
Itookastepforwardandshovedtheboyinthechest.Hestumbledafewsteps,butdidn’tfall. “Don’ttouchmybrother,”Jacksaid,shovingmeback.Ifellonmybuttinthegrass. “Hey!Youcan’tpushagirl!”Brandisaid,helpingmeup.
Foramoment,Jacklookedreluctantaboutwhathehaddone.Thenhisblueeyeshardenedandsaid,“Youstartedit.Besides, ifyou’refraternaltwins,oneofyouisaboy.ToobadIcan’ttellwhich becauseyouboth looklikeboys!”
Theylaughed,soBrandiandIgotonourbikesandrodeaway.Ihadtearsinmyeyes,butshewasstillsmiling. “Forgetaboutthosejerks.Thereareprobablya million otherkidsaroundhere.We’llmakeplentyoffriends.” “Yeah,”Isaid,wipingmytears.“You’reright.”
Whenwegothome,themovingtruckwasgoneandMomwassittinginachaironthelawnsmokingacigarette “What’sthe plan,Stan?”sheasked.
“Huh?”Brandiasked.
Momshrugged.“Howwasyourbikeride?Didyouexploretheneighborhood?” “Wegotpickedon!”Icomplained.“SomeboysmadefunofusforbeingBravesfans.”
“That’syourproblem”Momflickedtheashoffhercigarette “Yourelyoneachothertoomuch Maybeifyoutriedharder, you’dbeabletomakenewfriends.”
“Wedidtry!”Brandiinsisted.“Theyweremean.”
“Ifyouwalkaroundsmellingpoopeverywhere,youshouldprobablycheckyour ownshoe.”Shegotupfromthechair and walkedtothefrontdoor “I’morderingpizzafordinner AndbecauseI’msuchagreatmother,I’llgetacheesepizzajustfor youtwo.”
BrandiandIgrinnedateachother.Momusuallyorderedpepperoni,whichmeantwehadtopeelthetoppingsoff.Thiswasa specialtreatindeed.
Brandi’ssmilequicklyfaded.“Look.”
Iturnedtoseewhatshewaspointingat.Jackandtheothertwoboyswereridingupontheirbikes.Theyskiddedtoastopin the driveway of the blue house, and one of thempointed at us. We couldn’t hear what they said, but they abruptly started laughing.
Great They’re our neighbors Ifeltmyheartsink “Ihaveanidea,”Brandisaid “Let’scollectsomeofDuchess’spoopandputitinabag Thenwe’llputitontheirdoor” “Orintheirmailbox!”Isuggested Thetwoofusgiggleduntilwehadtearsinoureyes
Alyssa
PresentDay
TearswelledinmyeyesasIsatupinbed,lookingaroundmyroom.Itwasstilldark,buttherewasaglowaroundtheframe ofthedoorlikeanorangerectangle,whichgaveenoughlighttoseethesmokecreepingthroughthecracks Itwasoppressively hotinsidetheroom,andthesmokewasacridandstungmylungsandeyes.
Mybrainfinallycaughtuptothesituation.IwasinClearwater,intheroomBrandiandIgrewupin.Therewasafireinthe house.Iwasintrouble.
This has to be a nightmare… right?
Thesoundofsomethingcrashingdeeperinthehousebanishedallillusionsthatthiswasjustadream.Ineededtogetout.I approachedthedoor,butthesmokewasstrongerthere,soIpulledmyshirtupovermymouthandbreathedthroughit Itapped thehandle itwasscaldinghot.Andjudgingbytheglowunderthedoorandaroundtheframe,therewasafireinthehallway rightoutside
If I don’t get out, I’m going to die Thethoughtwaslikeashotofadrenaline Iwhirledtothewindow.Thestormshuttersontheoutsidewerestill closed,blockinganylightfromoutside.Igrabbedthe windowpaneandpulled,butitdidn’tbudge Iyankedtwomoretimesbeforedisengagingthetwist-lockonthetop Buteven withitunlocked,thewindowrefusedtomove.Aquickglanceshowedthatwhentheroomhadbeenpainted,eventhewindow waspaintedover,sealingtheglasstotheframe Iletoutacryofdistressandbangedonthewindow
Windows Glass Smashing MythoughtswerebecomingsluggishasIcoughed,butthatwasenoughtohelpmeformaplan Theroomwasemptyasidefrommybedandsuitcase,soIgrabbedthelatterandhurleditatthewindow.Itbouncedoffonthe firsttry.Iwasbeginningtogrowtired,sotired,anditwasmoredifficulttoraiseitthesecondtime.Ineededtosmashthrough theglassorIwasgoingtosuffocateinhere,anddie
I heaved the suitcase at the window Mythrow was weaker thanthe first, and didn’t come close to breakingthroughthe reinforcedhurricaneglass.Smokewasfillingtheroomfromtheceilingdown,soIdroppedtomyknees,thendownontomy belly
Iknew Ineededtomove,todo something,butitwashardtofindthestrengthormotivation Theairwascleandownhere, andIwas so, so tired.IfIallowedmyselftorelaxfor a few moments,Iwouldregainenoughenergytodosomething.All I neededtodowasclosemyeyesforamomentortwo.
Without warning, the door smashed openina sprayof wood splinters. The silhouette of a firemanstood inthe doorway, outlinedbyaflareofflamesbehindhim Heheldanaxacrosshischest,helmetedheadswivelingtoexaminetheroom When hesawme,heputtheaxaway Icouldn’tseewhere andquicklybentdowntome.
“Igotyou,”Iheardhimsay,muffledbehindhisoxygenmask.“Let’sgo.”
HeraisedmeoffthegroundlikeIweighednothing,andthenIwasfloating.Flameslickedupthehallwaywallsandacross theceilinglikethetidecaressingabeach.Theheatwaspowerful,andpainful,soIburiedmyfaceinhisuniformandclosed myeyesshut
Everythingwas a blur for several minutes The heatdisappeared, and thenIwas cold Iwas layinginthe grass Someone pressedamasktomymouth,andtheairwascoolandsweet.Peoplespokeallaroundme,butIbarelyheardthem. “Gladyouheardherpoundingagainstthewindow.”
“Pointoforiginisthegarage.”
“Mateo’sout Saystherestofthehouseisclear”
“I’llbedamned shealmostlookslike ”
“It’sher Almostdidadouble-takewhenIsawher Didn’trealizeshewasbackintown”
Themaskwasremovedfrommymouth.WhenIopenedmyeyes,Isawafiremancrouchedoverme.
“Nobodyelseinside,right?”themanasked.Hehadaninterestingaccent, almost British.“Nodogsorcatsorotherpets?”
Mythroatburnedfromthesmoke,soallIdidwasshakemyhead.
Therewasacrashingnoisewhichmadeeveryonejolt Theroofofthegaragewascollapsinginonitself,sendingupablast offlamesthatscaldedmycheeksevenfromahundredfeetaway.NowthatIwasseeingit,Icouldn’tlookaway.Flamesshone ineverywindowanddancedabovetheroof,brightorangeagainsttheblackskywhilesickshadowsdancedacrossthelawn A trioofother firemenwere maneuveringa hose,butthe water didn’tseemtobe doingmuch.The neighbors onthe nextthree housesIcouldseewereallstandingintheirlawns,watchingwithshockanddespair.
Ihadn’tweptwhenourmotherdied,butnowmytearsflowedfreely.Thenthemaskwasplacedbackovermyface,andIwas liftedupintoanambulanceandtakenawayfromallthehorror
Jack
Alyssa fucking Ford
None of it sunk in until I was back at the firehouse, letting the water fromthe shower wash away all trace of what had happenedonthisnight AlyssafuckingFord,theneighbor frommychildhood Awomanwhowasdifficulttodescribe part foe, partfriend, partobstacle. Abeaconinmylife, bothgood and bad, like a lighthouse thatoccasionallywentdarkfor no goddamnreason
Icouldn’tbelieveshewasback
As the scaldingwater gave me new life,Ithoughtabouthow longithadbeensince Ihadseenher Itwas eightyears ago, beforewebothleftforcollege.Abackyardpoolpartywithalltherecentgraduates.Aprivatemomentsharedinmybrother’s roomupstairs,unseenbyanyoneelse.Atthetime,IwascertainIwouldneverseeheragain.Hell,Ihad hoped Iwouldnever seeheragain Eightyearsofavoidingsocialmediahadfurtherconfirmedmysuspicion
Andthenthereshewas,proneonthefloorofthehouseshegrewupin,barelyconsciousfromsmokeinhalation Iwasmore shakenfromseeingherthanIwasfromthedestructivefire.
Theemotionsrushedoverme,andIhadtogriptheshowerdoortosteadymyself.Afewquickheartbeatslater,itwasgone.
“Youallright,bud?”LiamaskedinhischipperNewZealandaccent.Hewastowelingoffinfrontofthemirror,hisyellow hairmattedflatagainsthishead.“Looklikeyou’veseenaghost.ThoughIguessyouhave!Heh.” “Tellmeaboutit.”
“Youavoidedthequestion.Youallright?” “I’mfine,”Ilied.
“Breakfast,then?Sun’llbeupsoon.CouldusesomepancakesfromDiane’sDiner.” “Nottoday,”Isaid.
That made Liamflinch, his eyes regardingme inthe mirror withconcern. Diane’s was a traditionafter a bad fire. “Shit, you’rereallyshaken,aren’tya?” “IsaidI’mfine.”
“Knowwhatyasaid.Moreworriedaboutwhatya are.‘Causeitain’tfine,bud.”
Idressed quicklyand headed home. The sunwas comingup over the palmtrees inmyyard as Ipulled into the driveway, brilliantorangebeamsthatscatteredthroughtheearlycloudslikefrozenmotesofflame.Acrosstheroad,thetidewaswashing upontheshore goodconditionsforaswim.ButIwasn’tinthemoodformuchexceptmybed.
Smoke, myshaggygreyGermanShepherd, was sittingonhis haunches whenIwalked throughthe door Iopened the back doortolethimout,buthestayedclosetome,lickingatmyhandwithconcern.HewasalwaysclingywhenIcamebackfroma fire Likeallanimals,dogsknewthatsmelldeepintheirDNA
“You’reagoodboy,”Isaid,crouchingdowntohughim “Comeon DoyourbusinesssoIcanfeedyouandgetsomesleep” IknewthatIshouldeattoo.Ihadbeenupallnightatthestationbeforewegotthecall,andIneededfood.Butmystomach wastootighttoeat Iwentrightupstairsandcrawledundermycovers Nexttothebedwereapairofperkyears,soIpatted thecoversonceandSmokejumpedupwithme,curlingintoalargeballandrestinghissnoutonmycalf.
Iwas bone tired,wearyina waythatonlya nightoffire andsmoke andtrauma couldcause.Butmymindwas racingtoo muchforsleep Iusuallylikedtolosemyselfinthethroesofphysicalpassionafterabadfire,remindingmyselfthatIwaswell andtruly alive,butIdidn’tfeelliketextingmygirlfriend.Itoldmyselfitwasbecauseshewasprobablyonherwaytowork, andnotbecausetherewasanotherwomanoccupyingmymind.
Alyssa fucking Ford
Whywasshebackintown?ThecarinthedrivewayhadTennesseeplates,andwasprobablyarental.Washertwinbackin
town,too?Wherewashermom?Ihadsomanyquestions,andpreciousfewanswers Igaveuponsleepaftertwohoursoftossingandturning.Thetidewasgoingout,soItookSmokeonaruninstead.ButIquit afteramilebecausemylungsfeltscratchyandthick.Ourrespiratorswerestate-of-the-art,butsmokeinevitablygotinwhile workingaroundafire
Aftermakingafewcalls,IdrovetoMortonPlantHospital MygirlfriendtextedwhileIwaswalkinginsidefromtheparking garage.
Jen:Youknowyou’resupposedtocallwheneverthere’safire.HowelseamI supposedtoknowyou’reokay?:-)
Me:Sorry.Hecticmorning.Thefirewasbad,butnobodywashurt.
Jen:IknowyouprobablyalreadyateatDiane’sthismorning,butI’vegotanhourfor lunchifyouwanttomeetup.I’mbuying!
Me:Todaydoesn’twork I’mfollowinguponsomething.Raincheck?
Jen:It’sadate:-)Wehavelotstotalkabout!I’mthinkingofrentingouttheroom abovemygarage,andwanttopickyourbrain.
ThepersonIwaslookingforhadbeenmovedfromtheERtothenon-critical wingofthehospital,accordingtothehelpful adminatthefrontdesk.WhenInearedthehospitalroominquestion,Isloweddown.Thecurtainwasdrawnacrosstheroom, butasliverbetweenthecurtainandthewall waswideenoughtoseethebedinside AsIwalkedslowly,myview changed: barefeet,thenahospitalgowncoveringlegs,thenbarearmsandtubesconnectedtoanoxygenmachine.Istoppedbeforethe faceandrespiratormaskcameintoview
“Excuseme,”Iaskedapassingnurse.“Thepatientinthatroom.AlyssaFord.Canyoutellmeherstatus?”
Thenurselookedmeupanddownsuspiciously.
“IworkatFireStationSeven,”Isaid,flashingmycredentials.“Ipulledheroutofthefire.Nottryingtopry,Ijust…Ijust wanttomakesureshe’sallright”
Herentiredemeanorchanged,andshegrabbedtheclipboardoffthedoorandflippedthroughthepages “Thepatientlooks likeshe’sdoinggreat.Heroxygennumbersaregood,andshedidn’tsufferanyburns.Worstthingwesawonherwasabruise onherknee.Wehaveheronoxygenasaprecaution,butsheshouldbereleasedinafewhours.She’sawakeifyouwanttotalk to ”
“Thanks,”Isaid “Haveagreatday”IretreatedfromthehospitalbeforeIcouldchangemymind
Mostfirefighters,includingour station,workeda 24-48schedule Thatmeant24straighthours onthe job,followedby48 hoursoff.Thenthatthree-daycyclestartedall overagain.ButLiam,Mateo,andIhadvolunteeredforanextrashifttocover someoftheboyswhoweregoingoutoftownforawedding.ThatwastheshiftwhenAlyssa’shousehadburneddown.Itried nottoseethatcoincidenceasasign
Iusuallysavoredmytimebetweenshiftsatthestation,buttodayIwasantsytogetbacktoit Iknewsittingaroundathome wouldn’tdomeanygood.
“Thereheis,”LiamsaidwhenIshowedupatthestationthatafternoon.Heandafewotherfiremenweresittingaroundthe livingroom,watchingbaseballhighlightsonTV“Wewerejusttalkingaboutyou” “That’sthelastthingaguylikestohearwhenheshowsuptowork,”Isaid,pouringacupofcoffee “Nothingbad,”MateosaidinCuban-accentedEnglish.“LiamwastellingmeaboutAlyssa.” “She is badnews,”Isaid.“Stayawayfromher.Bothofyou.” “Actually,”Liamreplied,“weweretalkingaboutyou andher.” “That’sevenworsenews.Iwantnothingtodowithher.”
LiamgaveMateoalookthatsaid: I told you so. “What?”Idemanded.
“Youtwohaveahistory,”Liamsaid.
“Notreally.”
Liamgavemeoneofhisdisarminghalf-grins,butsaidnothing.Themanwassodamneasygoing.Liketherewasnothingin theworldtoworryabout,leastofallanoldalmost-flingfromhighschool.
“Iforgot!”Mateojumpedupandrantothefridge.Hereturnedwithasliceofkeylimepie.“FromDiane’s.” “Thanks,butI’mnothungry.” Mateoscowled.“Badluck.”
“Don’tbelieveinluck.”
“Wedo.”Liampushedtheplateclosertome.“Comeon,bud.It’stradition.Hasn’tsteereduswrongyet.Butifyoutemptthe KeyLimePiegods,andsomethinghappensonournextcall…I’dhatetohavethathangingoverme.” Mateogaveasingle,emphaticnod.
Isighedandtookabite.Itwas tradition.Andthepiewasdamngood,too. “Alyssa,”Mateosaidoncehewassatisfiedwithmypieconsumption.“Tellmeabouther.” “IthoughtLiamalreadytoldyoueverything.”
“Hetoldmelittle,”Mateoreplied.
“WithAlyssaFord,alittlegoesalongway”
“ItoldhimwhatIrememberedfrommysingleyearhereasaforeignexchangestudent Youknewhermuchlongerthanthat,” Liamsaid.
Itookanotherbiteofpietogivemyselfafewmomentstothink.HowcouldIexplainmyhistorywiththisgirlinasuccinct way?ItwouldbelikeboilingdownalltheworksofShakespeareintoasinglesentence
“Firstwehatedeachother,”Ifinallysaid “Thenwekindoflikedeachother Thenwehatedeachotheragain” “Thisexplainsverylittle,”Mateonoted. Inodded.“Exactly.”
“Youdon’twantto delve into your complicated historywiththis woman?” Liamprodded. “Bare your soul to your besties whilewewaitforthenextcall?”
“Nope,”Ireplied “It’sallinthepast”
Liamnarrowedhiseyesskeptically “Youdon’tstillhavefeelingsforher?Unresolvedemotionsthathavebeenreignitedlike thefirethatbroughtyoutwotogetheragain?”
“Nope,nope,andnope”
“Ionlyaskedtwoquestions”
“I’mpreemptivelysayingnopetowhateveryouweregoingtoasknext,”Isaid “Don’tbelieveyou,”Liamsaid “Ialsodonotbelieveyou,”Mateoadded.
“Believewhateveryouwant.It’sthetruth.”
“Iknow you,bud,”Liaminsisted.“AndIwantyoutoswear,rightherebeforeMateoandthissacredkeylimepie,thatyou haven’tspentthepastdaythinkingonlyaboutAlyssaFord”
Does my best friend really know me that well, or am I that obvious? ButIwasstubborn,soIheldmyhandoverthepielike itwasabible,thenraisedmyotherpalm.“IsweartotheKeyLimePiegodthatIhaven’tbeenthinkingaboutAlyssaFord,nor doIhaveanyunresolvedfeelingsforher IfI’mlucky,I’llneverhavetoseeorthinkaboutthatwomanagain” Ellen,aProbationaryfirefighter basicallyanewrecruit pokedherheadintheroom.“Franco,Campbell,Vega.Youwere onthathousefirecalllastnight,right?Someone’sheartoseeyou”
MateoandLiambothturnedtolookatme
“You’vegottobefuckingkiddingme,”Imuttered “ShouldIsendherin?”
“No,”Isaid.
“Yes!”MateoandLiamsaidatthesametime.
Ellenheldupacookieinherhand.“Shebroughtsnickerdoodles!”
“Twovotesagainstone!”Liamsaidcheerfully.“Ilovedemocracy.Sendherandthosecookiesbacktous.”
Igroanedandgotupfromthetable.“I’mgoingtoseeiftheLieutenantwantsmetorolloutthehoses…”
BeforeIcouldleave, she walkedin.
AlyssafuckingFord.
Shelookedhealthier thanwhenIhadlastseenher faceinthe backofthe ambulance leavingthe fire Everythingabouther wasexactlyasIremembered:thepetitebodywiththerightamountofcurveinherhips.Thegoldenblondecurlsthatalways caughttheFloridasunshine Herheart-shapedface,poutylips,andeyesthatheldthelivelinessofahundredperfectsouls Thoseeyesgazedaroundtheroom,thenwidenedwithshockwhentheysettledonme.“Jack…?”
Was she not expecting to see me?
“Alyssa.”
Apregnantpausefilledtheroom.
“Alyssa!” Liamsaid, hoppingup fromhis chair and wrappingher ina hug. “Youlookgreat. Better thanyoudid the other night,heh!Arethosecookies?”
Shehandedhimthebox,butspokewhilekeepinghereyesonme “Iwantedtobakethemfresh,but ”
“But your house burned down!” Liamfinished for her withhis disarmingcheer. “We were there. It’s a good excuse. Any cookies are better than no cookies.” He dropped back into his chair and handed a cookie to Mateo, who grinned while watchingmesquirm.
“How…”Alyssasaidtome.Hereyessparkled.Whatwasgoingthroughherheadrightnow?
“Pointoforiginwasinthegarage,”Isaid,seizingonadifferenttopic.“Wholehousewentupfromthere.Toughtotellsince therewassomuchdamage,butitlookedlikeyourbedroomwindowwaspaintedshut.”
“That’safirehazard,”Liamsaid,clickinghistongueindisapproval.Mateonoddedalong.
“Thegarage…”Alyssashookherhead,breakingeyecontactwithmesinceshefirstappeared.“Mymotherhad…issues.She was always tinkeringwiththe fuse box, tryingto pull more power to her woodworkingtools There were a bunchofwood shavingsontheworkbenchnearby.Isawthemthedayofthefire.”
“That’lldoit!”Liamsaid.
Her mother had issues. That’s an understatement. “Yousawwoodshavingsaroundafaultyfuseboxanddidn’tdoanything aboutit?”Idemanded.“Whatwereyouthinking?”
“She’sprobablythinkingshesurvivedahousefire,anddoesn’tappreciatehavingblamethrownaround,”Liamscoldedme. Mateo’sdarkeyebrowsfurrowedinafrownatmytone
“Ijustwantedtostopbyandthankyouforsavingme,”Alyssasaid “Iknowtherewerealotofyouthere,butthefirefighter wholetmeinsaidyouthreeweretheoneswhowentintothehouse.”Hereyesreturnedtome,brightandcurious.“It’sfunny, butwhenyouknockeddownthedoorIhadastrangefeelingthatIknewyou ” “ItwasLiamwhocarriedyouout,”Iquicklysaid “Notme Iwasinthebackroom,bythekitchen” “Oh.”Shelookedlikeshedidn’tbelieveme,butdidn’twanttoargue.“Well,IguessIrecognizedyoufromtheyearyouwere here,Liam”
“I’manunforgettableguy!”hesaidwithachippertone,glancingatme “Cookies don’t feel like enough If there’s any other way I can repay you, I’ll do it I’m a photographer Wedding or engagementphotos,travelphotos,headshots…”
“Noweddingorengagementforme,”Liamsaid,givingmeahealthyamountofside-eye.“ButI’dlovetotakeyoutodinner.” Ifeltmystomachtighten Whatwashedoing?
Alyssagaveastart “Dinner?”
Mateo’sdarkeyeswidenedashewatchedthescene “Onlyifyouwant,”Liamsaidcasually “NottryingtoguiltyouintoadatejustbecauseIsavedyourlife” Alyssablushed.Sheprobablydidn’tcomehereexpectingtogetaskedout,andLiamwasagood-looking,charismaticguy.He glancedatmewithanunmistakableexpression: say the word and I’ll back off Ishotbackastubbornlook Liamshruggedalmostimperceptibly “Sure,”shesaid “I’dlovetogetdinnerwithyou Wecancatchup” ThetwoofthemexchangednumberswhileIsatverystill “Anyway,thanksagain.Ioweyoumylife.Allthreeofyou.Enjoythecookies.”
Liamhugged her, thenMateo did the same. She lingered a moment, waitingto see ifIwould move infor a hug. Mybody achedtoembraceher,tofoldherintomyarmsandholdhertightlikethatdayatthepoolpartyeightyearsagowhenwewere allalone ButIcouldn’tmakemyfeetmove Alyssagaveanawkwardlittlesmile,thenleft “Sheisverypretty,”Mateosaid “That’swhathooksyou,”Imuttered “ButlikeIsaid:she’sbadnews” “Idon’tactuallywantto go outwithher,” Liamexplained. “Ionlydid thatto prove a point. Ididn’trealize youwere too stubborntoflinchfirst.”
Mateochuckled.“IhaveknownthissincethefirstdayImethim.” “Okay,”Liamadmitted “Iknew hewasstubborn,butnot that stubborn Idon’twanttocrossanylines,bud Saytheword andI’llbackout.”
“Goaheadandtakehertodinner.Idon’tevencare,”Ireplied.“I’mgoingtogoseeaboutthosehosesnow.” ButasIleft,Iknewnobodyinthatroombelievedmylie.
Alyssa fucking Ford.
Alyssa
Jack freaking Franco
NeverinabillionyearsdidIexpecttoseehimstandingthereinthatfirestation.YetthelongerIlookedathim,themoreit feltright Growingup,healwayssaidhewantedtohelppeopleforaliving Itmadesensethathewouldbecomeafireman
Andit did feellikehewasthemanwhoknockedmydoordownandcarriedmeoutofthehouse,eventhoughIwaswrong aboutthat.
Iwasalreadyinastrangemoodaftergettingoutofthehospital.Ihadexperiencedatraumaticevent,andmychildhoodhouse hadburneddown Who wouldn’t feelweirdafterthat?ButseeingJackoutofthebluemademefeelevenstranger LikeIhad beentransportedbackintime,withallthesameemotionsandbaggagefromhighschool,yetwithalltheadultknowledgeIhad accruedintheeightyearssince.
Why did he have to see me like this? Ithought,lookingdownatmyself.Thehospitalhadgivenmeabaggysundressanda pairofsandalstowear,sincemypajamasweremoresmokethanfabric Itwasn’tevenclosetoflattering
IcalledanotherUberbacktothehousetomeetBrandi Thesightwaitingtheremademegonumb Therightsideofthehouse wherethegaragehadbeenwasnowapileofrubble,whiletheleftsideofthehousewaslikeaskeleton.Thefront-facingwall ofmybedroomstillstood,butlookedlikeitmightcollapsefromthefirststrongbreezethatblewinofftheocean Mysuitcase fullofbelongingswasalmostcertainlydestroyed.Myrentalcarwasstillparkedinthedriveway,butthefronthalfofitwas burnedblack,andthetiresweremeltedflat.Thebackofthecarlookedintactthough,includingthetrunk…
Imusthavestoodthereforawhile,becausesuddenlymysister’scarwasskiddingtoastopinfrontofthehouse.Shecame runningaroundtothedriveway,wrappingmeinatighthugwhilesobbing
“Alyssa,ohmyGodAlyssa,Ican’tbelieveit Youalmostdied!”
“I’mokay Justalittlesmokeinmylungs”
Ratherthancalmherdown,shesobbedevenharder “Ifanythinghadhappenedtoyou,mysister,mytwin Ican’tloseyou Notaweekafterlosingourmother.”
Ismiled “Areyousayingthoseareequivalentlosses?”
Brandi gave me a sisterly shove “Shut up You know what I mean Mother’s death is an inconvenience, but I would be devastated ifIlostyou.”
“I’mfine.Justalittleshakenup.Honestly,I’mmoresadaboutyoursituation.Iwasonlygoingtostayhereforafewweeks, butyouhadthiswholebigplantofixupthehouseandrentitout.”
Brandiwavedahand.“Idon’tcareaboutthat,Alyssa.Noneofthatmatters.I’mjusthappyyou’reokay.Whydidn’tyoutell meyouwerestayinghereinsteadofahotel!”
“Iwastryingtofixtheplaceupforyou Istockedthefridgeandpantry,putsheetsonthebed threehundredbucksdownthe drain.”Iturnedtothehouse.“Mysuitcasewasinside,too.”
“Ohno.Ihaveplentyofclothesyoucanuse.Wasthatyourcar?”
“It’sarental.”
Shelaughedthroughhertears.“Andyouparkedinthe driveway?”
“Itfeltlikeanactofdefianceatthetime!”Isaidwithalaughofmyown “ThebitchofitisthatifIhadparkedonthestreet, itwouldprobablybefine.Istillhavesomestuffinthetrunk,butIdon’thavethekeys.”
Brandiwalkedovertothecarandtestedthehandle.Itwaslocked.Shelookedaround,foundabrickattheedgeofthehouse rubble,andsmasheditthroughthewindow.Thensheunlockedthedoorandpulledthelatchtopopthetrunk.
“What?”sheasked.“It’salreadytotaled!”
Iopened the trunk, and breathed a huge sighofrelief. “All mycamera equipmentis okay.” Ibeganremovingbags ofgear,
quicklycheckingthemfirst “Losingmysuitcaseisn’tabigdeal,butthere’sfivegrandworthofcamerasandlenseshere” “Fivegrand!AndhereIthoughtphotographywascheaptogetinto.MyiPhonecameraisprettygood.” Ismiled.“There’sabigdifferencebetweenprettygoodand professional.Myclientspaymeforthatdifference.” Brandihelpedmecarrythebagsintohercar “Let’sgetdinner Wehave so muchtotalkabout”
While eatingfried fishatone ofour favorite old restaurants, Icaughtmysister up oneverythinggoingoninmylife My photographybusinessinNewYork,thelasttwoboyfriendsthathadcomeandgonewithoutmuchfanfare.Eventually,Ibrought upthesubjectIhadbeenavoiding.
“RememberJack?”Isaidoncewewereseveralglassesofwinedeep.“JackFranco?” Brandi snorted. “Are youseriouslysuggestingI might have forgottenthe hottest, hunkiest asshole onour street? Wait, not asshole Jackass”Shegiggledatherownjoke “Well,hedoesn’tliveonourstreetanymore Buthe’sstillinClearwater” Shefrownedatme “Howdoyouknow?Didyourunintohim?”
“Morelikeheraninto me Hewasoneofthefiremenwhorescuedmefromthehousefire” Brandistaredatmeforthreelongseconds.Thenshebustedoutlaughing. “What?”Iasked.
“JackFrancocarriedyououtofourburninghouse?”
“Itwasoneofhisteammates,actually.Liam,thatforeignexchangestudentfromNewZealand.” “Who?”
“Youreallydon’trememberhim?HelivedwithJack Itwasthejunioryearofhighschool Thickblondhair,yellowerthan Jack’s.It’simpossibletoforgetthataccent.”
“Ididn’togleeveryboyinourgrade,”sheshotback.“WhyareyousoinsistentthatIrememberhim?” “Well…hesortofaskedmeout.”
“What!”
“Iwenttothefirestationtothankthemenwhorescuedme.TurnsouttwoofthemwereJackandLiam.AndLiamaskedme out,rightthereinfrontofJack”
Brandiraisedherhandtogetthewaiter’sattention.“Hi,yes,we’regoingtoneedanotherroundofdrinksbecausemytwin sisterjusttoldmethemostridiculousthingI’veeverheard” “Areyougoingtobeokaytodrive?”
Shewavedahand “Shutup We’llgetanUber Nowun-shutupandtellmeeverydetailthathappened”
Ispentafewminutesfillingherinontheentirevisittothestation “Well?Ishecute?”shefinallyasked.
“He’sreallycute!”Ireplied.“ButIthinkIgavehimmynumberjusttobepolite.” And to make Jack jealous.“Idon’texpect Liamtoactuallytextme,especiallyonceheandJacktalkaboutit Guysareweirdlyterritorialaboutthatstuff”
Brandi rolled her eyes “You’ve beenintowna dayand have managed to have more excitementthanI’ve had inthe past year.”
“Ihavenot!”
Brandibegancountingitemsonherfingers “Youwereinsideourchildhoodhomewhenitcaughtfireandburneddown Jack Franco,theboyyou’vebeenpiningoverformorethanadecade,wasoneoftheguystosaveyou.” “Nuhuh!”Iargued.
Shetickedthethirdfinger.“Andthenyougaveyournumbertohisfriendandcoworker.” Iacceptedmynewglassofwinefromthewaiterandtookalongsip.“Okay,whenyouputitlikethat,Iseewhatyoumean. Butenoughaboutme How’sKyle?Thingsareboring?”
“Oh,thingsareexcitingwithKyle,”shereplied.“Butit’s marriage excitement,notsingle girl excitement.”
The subjectwas successfullychanged, and we talked aboutBrandi’s life for the remainder ofdinner. Thenwe gota hotel roomatthehotelIwasoriginallysupposedtostayat
“Here’stheplan,”Branditoldme “IfoundanAirbnbafewmilesdowntheroad It’srightonthewater,andit’sfarenough fromour old neighborhood thatwe don’thave to thinkaboutitatall. We’ll staythere for a weekand see how muchofour
mother’saffairswecansettle,andrenewtheAirbnbuntilit’sallfinished.Inthemeantime,I’llhaveKyledrivedownhereand bringabunchofextraclothes.YoucanborrowsomeoftheclothesIbroughtwithme,andwecangoshoppingforanythingelse tomorrow Wehaveplentyoftimesincewecan’tcheck-inuntiltheafternoon” “AreyousureKyledoesn’tmind?”
Brandishrugged “You’remysister Heunderstands”
Ihuggedher,andrealizedthereweretearsinmyeyes Iwipedthemawayandgotreadyforbed We pickedupbreakfasttacos the nextdayandthenwentshopping.Iboughta few necessities: jeans,tops,anextra pair of sneakers.Brandiconvincedmetobuyabathingsuit.MightaswellsoakupsomesunwhileIwasdownhere. Iwasalittleworriedaboutmoney;mysavingswerealreadylowbeforegoingshopping.ButBrandihadawayofmakingall myconcernsmeltaway.IcouldalwayspickupsomeextraphotographyworkwhileIwasdownhere,Itoldmyself.
Bythetimeweweredoneshoppingandhadgottenlunch,itwastimetocheck-intoourAirbnb.Itwastheguesthouseinthe backyard ofanother house, whichwas rightacross the streetfromthe SaintJosephSound, a narrow strip ofwater between ClearwaterandClearwaterBeachthatledintotheGulfofMexico.
“Right?”Brandisaidwhenshesawmysurprise “Ididwell,didn’tI?” “Thisplaceisgreat,”Isaid “Howmuchdiditcost?” “Itcostsnone-of-your-businessperday,”shereplied “Stopworryingand relax KyleandImakegoodmoney Letmespoil mysisterwhileIcan.Oncewehavekids,Iwon’tbeabletothrowmoneyaroundlikethis.”
Per the Airbnb instructions, we pulled into the driveway, whichled all the wayinto the backyard nextto the guesthouse. UnlikewhenIarrivedatourmother’shouse,Ididn’tfeelanysenseofdreadhere Itactuallyfeltlikeanewbeginning “We canturnthis tragedyinto somethinggood,” Brandi said while we gotout, echoingmyownthoughts. “We’ll getwine drunktonight, watchthe sunset right over there, and celebrate the deathof that awful house Like one of those ceremonies wheretheyburnalltheex-boyfriendsclothes,exceptwithanentirehouse.”
Adogwas barkinginside the mainhouse as we approached the guestbuilding. Brandi entered the code onthe keypad. It flashedred Shetrieditasecondtimewithnoluck
Sighing,shepulledoutherphone “I’llcalltheownerandseewhat’sup” Iturnedtothemainhousewherethedogwasbarking “Iseelightson Let’sjustknock”
“I’llgetourstuffoutofthecarwhileyoudothat,”Brandisaid,poppingthetrunk.“Andifhe’shot,flirtalittlebit!Maybewe cangetadiscountifweneedtoextendourstay”
Ilaugheditoffwhileroundingthebuildingandapproachingthefrontdoor Thisplacewasnice,anditwasrightonthewater Theownerswereprobablyaniceretiredcouple.
Irangthedoorbell,whichmadethedogbarkevenlouder.Heappearedinthesidewindow,agreyGermanShepherdwith hazeleyes.Whenhesawme,heimmediatelysatonhishaunchesandwaitedpatiently.
“Aren’t youa good boy?” I whispered, bent downto peer throughthe glass. I put myhand onthe deckrailingto steady myself,andnoticedalushwhitetowelhangingovertheedge I wonder what that’s for
Nobodycame to the door, so Iknocked After a few more seconds, Icupped myhands to the window Justour luck the ownerwasn’there.
“CanIhelpyou?”amanbehindmeasked.
Iturnedtofacethemanwhohadspoken,anddidadouble-take.
Jack freaking Franco.
Alyssa
JackFrancostoodbythemailboxofthehouse,wearingonlyapairofskin-tightblackswimtrunksthatwenthalfwaydownto hisknees.Beadsofmoisturecoveredhisbody.Hissandy-blondhairwassowetitlookeddark,andanarrowstreamofwater wasrunningdownhisneckandacrosshischest.Themoistureaccentuatedhissun-kissedskinandmuscles,andtherewasalot toaccentuate.Veinsbulgedoutofhisthickforearmsandhandsliketheyweretryingtoescape.Thecordedlinesofmusclein his shoulders hinted, nay shouted, about functional strength. He was panting with effort, which made every one of the abdominalmusclesinhissix-packrippleintheafternoonlight
Oh my God,Icouldn’thelpbutthink. He didn’t look like this at the fire station yesterday. Hestoppedshortwhenherecognizedme.“Whatareyoudoinghere?”hedemanded. Ishookoffmydazeandpointedaroundthecorner.“We…”
“Idon’thaveanythingtosaytoyou.”Jack’sfacetwistedinasnarl,andhispiercingblueeyeswerefull offire.“Ifyou’ve cometothankmeagainforthefire,ortoapologizeforwhatyoudidthe last timewesaweachothereightyearsago,Idon’t care.Idon’twanttohearit.It’stoolate,Alyssa.”
Theferocityofhisspeechtookmeaback,andIstoodthereonhisporchlikeanidiot. Brandicamearoundthecornerandimmediatelybeganlaughing.“You’vegottobekiddingme.Isthis your place?”
AlthoughJackreactedwithangeratseeingme,Brandicaughthimoffguard.Hiseyeswidenedandhelookedbackandforth betweenus.
“We’rerentingyourguesthouse,”Iexplained.
Hisshouldersslumpedlikehehadjustfinishedalongsprint.Ormaybealongswim,basedonwhathewaswearing.“God damnit”
“Ialwaysknewthiswasasmalltown,”Brandisaid,stilllaughing.“ButIneverrealizeditwas this small!”
“Thisisallabigmisunderstanding,”Isaid,exitinghisporch.“We’llcancelourbookingandfindanotherplace.” “Wewill?”Brandiasked.
“Comeon.Thesoonerwe’regone,thebetter.”
Brandifollowedmebacktothecarwhilescrollingonherphone.“Ifwecancelthebookingnow,they’lltakethedeposit.” “I’llpayyouback.”
“It’seighthundreddollars,Alyssa.” Ifrozewithmyhandonthecardoor.“What!”
“Theguesthouse costs twohundredbucks a night,giveor take Ibookeditfor a week Ifyoureallywanttocancel,that’s fine,but…”
Ihesitated.Icouldn’taffordthatrightnow.Ihadexpectedtopayforasinglenightinahotel andspendtherestofthetime stayingatourmother’shouse IwasluckythatBrandiwasofferingtopayforeverythingsofar “Didyousearchmeout?”Jacksuddenlyasked.Hehadfollowedusdownthedriveway,andwasstandingtenfeetbehindus withthetoweldrapedoverhisshoulders.Somehow,thatonlyaccentuatedthepartsofhisbodythatIcouldstillsee.“Didyou planallofthis,orisitalljustacrazycoincidence?”
“WhywouldIplanthis?”Ireplied.
“Answerthequestion,”Jackgrowled,fingersgrippingthetoweltightly. Brandimuttered,“Forfuck’ssake…”
“No,wedidn’tplanthis,”Isaidbitterly.“Iwouldn’tintentionallyruninto you evenifsomeonepaidme.Thisisalljustan extremely unfortunatecoincidence.Comeon,Brandi.Let’sgo.”
“Wait,”Jacksaid.
Iturned.Hiseyesbegantosoften.
“Ifyoucancel atthelastminute,it’ll countagainstyour account.Andyou’ll bechargedacancellationfeebyAirbnb.”His barechestswelledwithadeepbreath,thenheletitout.“It’sfine.”
“Whatis?”
Hegestured.“Theguesthousehas beenunoccupiedmostofthesummer,tothepointthatIhadtolower theprice.Youcan stay.We’llneverhavetoseeeachother.”
IglancedatBrandi.Shelookedlikeshewantedtoleave,butwasgivingmethefinal say.Whichsucked,becauseIwanted her todecideforme.Tosaythewordsoutloud.
Iforcedmyselftospeak “Okay We’llstay It’sonlyforaweek”
Jackwalkedpastus andenteredacodeintothekeypad “Thecodeis zero-six-four-six Thelastfour digits ofthebooking party’sphonenumber.”
Brandisniffed.“Thelastfourdigitsofmyphonearezero-six-four-seven. ”
Jackdidn’treply.Heonlypulledouthisphone,scannedafew pages,thenhelditoutfor ustosee.ItwastheAirbnbHost Page,whichshowedalltheinformationonthepersonwhohadbookedhisguesthouse.Thenumberlistedontheinformation endedinzero-six-four-six
“Oh”Brandi’sfaceturnedred “Imusthaveenteredmyinformationwrong”
Jackopenedthedoorandledusinside.Itwasn’talargespace therewasakitchenandlivingroominthemainarea,with twodoorsleadingintootherrooms.“Coffeemachineworks.There’sfreshgroundsinthecupboard.Bathroomisthatdoor.The otheroneisthebedroom,withtwinbeds.”Hesmiledatthat.
“Wesawthelisting,thanks,”Isaid.“We’llletyouknowifweneedanythingelse.”
Hewalkedpastme,smellinglikesaltwater,sunscreen,andahintofmusk.Thosescentsimmediatelybroughtbackmemories fromhighschool,andall theotherinteractionsI’dhadwithJack Ajumbleofemotionsfilledme,powerful andconfusingat thesametime.
Thedoorclosed,andBrandiandIwerealone.
She immediatelysighed and sankinto the couch “Well that was awkward Youcould cutthe sexual tensionwitha butter knifeandspreaditontoast.”
“Sexual what!No,Brandi!”Iargued.“JackandIhateeachother.Thatwasjustregularoldtension.Nothingsexual about it”
“Whateveryousay”
Iunpackedandchangedintonewclothes,whileBrandiwentouttogetusfoodfortonight Shereturnedwithanovenpizza, twobagsofchips,andtwobottlesofwine.
I love my sister, Ithought.ShealwaysknewexactlywhatIneeded.
“Here’s the plan,” she said “We don’tmeetwiththe lawyer guyuntil Friday,sowe have twodays togetsome other stuff done.Ithinkwe shouldgotoour mother’s store tomorrow andtake stockofeverything.Ihave noidea what we need to do there,sothatmaytakeadayortwo Thenwemeetwiththelawyer,andwe’llhaveabetterideaofeverythingelseafterthat Thehardestpart,dealingwiththehouse,isnolongeranissueforus.Silverlining,huh?”
“It’sniceknowingthatwedon’thavetodealwiththat,”Iadmitted.
“Withall ofthathandled, we should be outofhere ina week. No need to extend our stayatJack’s guesthouse.” Brandi sighed.“AmImissinganything?”
“Ithinkyoucoveredallofit.”Myphonevibratedwithatextmessage,soIcheckedit.
Liam:Hi!ThisisLiamCampbell.
Liam:Morespecifically:theLiamCampbellfromthefirestation.Andfromhigh schooleightyearsago.KiwiLiam.
Liam:KiwiisanicknameforNewZealanders.Youprobablyknowthat,butjust tryingtobeclear!
“It’sLiam,”Isaid,turningmyphoneoffandplacingitonthecoffeetable. Brandisquealedexcitedlyandgrabbedmyphone.“What’dhesay!What’dhesay!Iwanttosee.Ohh,hetextedyoualready. Howlonghasitbeen?”
“Aday,”Ianswered.
“Aren’tyougoingtorespondtohim?”
“Afterwefinishedtalking,maybe.”
“We did finishtalking,”Brandiinsisted.“Goon,answerhim!He’sprobablygoingtoaskyouout.
Me:HeythereLiam,Irememberyou.How’sitgoing?
Liam:It’sgoinggreat!JustgotoffashiftatthestationandthoughtI’dtextyou.I knowyou’resupposedtowaitafewdaysbeforecontactingsomeone,butIdon’tknow howlongyou’reintown,soIdidn’twanttoplayanyofthosedumbgames.Youwantto getdinnerwithmetonight?
Me:Ah,sorry,butI’vegotplanswithmysistertonight.We’reeatingpizzaandgetting winedrunk.
“Don’tusemeasanexcuse!”Brandisaid “Gooutwithhim” “Idon’twanttogoanywheretonight Ijustwanttorelax”BeforeIcouldarguemore,Liamhadresponded
Liam:Ah,noworries,Ilikethatvibe.Don’tblameyouafteralltheexcitementyou’ve hadinthepastday.Howabouttomorrownight?There’sachillbarrightonthebeachthat openeduplastyear.It’skindofmyfavoriteplace.Freshfishandcheapdrinks.
AfterBrandireadthetext,Iclosedmyphoneandputitinmypocketwhereshecouldn’tstealit. “What?”Brandiasked.“Youdon’twanttogooutwithhim?”
“I’mflatteredtobeasked,butno,Idon’treallywanttogoout.We’vegottoomuchgoingonwithallofourmother’saffairs tohandle AndbeforeyoutellmethatI’llhaveplentyoffreetimeatnight,Iwasthinkingoftryingtobookafewphotography sessions.Ineedthemoney.”
“Ithink,”Brandisaidwhilepoppingopenabagofchips,“thatyou’restillcrushingonJack” Iblinked “Jack?JackFranco?”
“WhatotherJackwouldIbetalkingabout?Yes,JackFranco Stopstalling Admitit:youstillhaveathingforhim Andthat thing isinyourpants.”
Ilaughedandtookthebagofchipsfromher.“Ireally don’twanttotalkaboutJack.” “Becauseyou’resuppressingyourlatentfeelingsforhim.”
Rollingmyeyes,Isaid,“You’rewrong”
“Isawthewayyoulookedathimearlier” “Becausehewasshirtless!”Ibitintoachip “Imayhatetheman,butI’mnotblind He’sripped” “Comeon,”Brandiinsisted,leaningforward “Youalwayshadacrushonhim” “Ididnot!”
Shegavemealookthatsaid I know you “Alyssa.It’sme.Youcan’tlietome.” “MyfeelingsforJackwere…complicated,”Iadmitted.“Butthatwasalmostadecadeago.” “Eightyears.”
“Whichisalmostadecade.”
“Eightisnotalmostten,”shecountered.
“We’resplittinghairs.Idon’thavefeelingsforhim.”
“Notevenafterseeinghim?”sheasked.
Ishookmyhead.“Nope.”
Brandi’slipscurledinahalf-smile.“Proveit.”
“Youwantmetoswearonabibleorsomething?”
“GoonthatdatewithLiam”
Igroaned “He’snotmytype”
“You’remakingexcuses Whenwehadlunchyesterday,youtoldmehewascute YouwereshockedIdidn’trememberhim fromjunioryearbecauseofhowcutehewas.”
“Because ofhis accent Notjustbecause he’s cute” Ichewed ona chip, thenspoke withmymouthfull “Florida isn’tmy homeanymore,Brandi.IliveinNewYork.I’mheretohelpyousettleallofourmother’saffairs,notfindlove.”
“Whosaidanythingaboutlove? Inthe immortal words ofTina Turner…” Brandi jumpedupandgrabbeda bottle ofwine, pretendingitwasamicrophoneasshebegantosing “Oh-oh-oh, what’s love got to do, got to do with it?”
“IfIagreetogoonadatewithhim,willyoustopsinging?”
“What’s love, but a second-hand emotion?”
“Brandi…”
“What’s love got to do, got to do with it? Who needs a heart when a heart can be broken?” Iwaslaughingbythetimeshedroppedbackdownontothecouch.“DoesKyleputupwithyourhorribleimpromptukaraoke thewayIusedto?”
“He suffers insilence” She pointed the bottle of wine at me “Seriously, though You’re overthinkingthis We’re talking aboutasingledate.Maybegettingyourfreakon.You’reclearlyinneedofgettinglaid.Andwhoknows?Maybethiswillmake Jackjealous.Whichwillservehimright,evenifyoudon’t havefeelingsforhim.”
IpulledoutmyphoneandtextedLiamback,agreeingtothedatetomorrownight. And it has nothing to do with Jack,Itold myself I don’t care if he’s jealous I don’t care about him at all
“Saytheword,bud,”Isaid,“andI’llbackout”
WeweresittingatanoutdoortableatZeke’s,ourfavoritesandwichjoint.Jackwasmybestpal,soIwasgivinghimanout. ButIwasalsopushinghimalittlebit,becauseashisbestpal,Iknewheneededalittlepushing “Youdon’thavetobackout,”Jackrepliedwhilepickingatafewremainingfries “Gooutwithher” “Areyousure?”
“Forthetenthtime, yes I’msure IfI’dknownyouweregoingtoonlytalkaboutthis,Iwouldn’thaveagreedtolunch” Itookapullfrommyseltzer ItwascrispandrefreshingintheFloridaheat “Idonotunderstand,”Mateosaidnexttous.“Youhaveaskedthisgirlout.Jackhassaidheisfine.Whydoyoustilldiscuss it?”
Intruth,IhadonlyaskedAlyssaouttogoadJackintodoingsomethingaboutit Becauseeversincewerealizedwhothatgirl inthe burningbuildingwas,Jackhadbeenina weirdmood.He mopedaroundthe stationonour lastshift.He was slow to answerhistextmessages Ifoundoutfromafriendofafriendofafriendthathe’dvisitedAlyssainthehospitalwithouttelling anyone.
AskingAlyssaoutwassupposedtobethekicktothebuttocksthatsetJack’smindstraight.Butinstead,hewasdiggingin, stubbornbastardthathewas.
“Mateobringsupagoodpoint,”Jacksaid.“Whyare westilldiscussingthis?”
“Theanswer,Mateo,issimple,”Isaidslowly.“BecauseIthinkourgoodfriendJackis lying. ” Mateonodded.“Ah,yes.”
Jackclenchedhisjaw.“I’mnotlying.”
“Sureyou’renot.”
Jackangrilycrumpleduphissandwichwrapperintoaballandsqueezeditlikeastresstoy “Gooutwithher Haveagreat time.Sleepwithherifyouwant.Idon’tcare.Idon’twanttothinkaboutherorseeheratall.”
“That’scurious,”Isaid,winkingatMateo,“consideringAlyssaandhersisterarestayinginyourguesthouse.”
Jackfroze.“How’dyouknowthat?”
“Alyssadoesn’thaveacar.Herswastheonethatburnedupinthedriveway.AndwhenIofferedtopickherup,shetoldme whereshewasstaying”
Iputmyhandsonthebackofmyheadandleanedbackinmychair,smiling.
“Itwasastupidcoincidence.”
MateoandIexchangedalook.“That’sonehellofacoincidence.”
“Iwasgoingtocanceltheirreservation,butit’llcountagainstmyAirbnbHostaccount.”
“I’msurethat’satruthfulanswer,and definitely notanexcuse.”
Mateocoveredhismouthtosuppressachuckle.
Jack’schairscreechedashestoodup “Believewhateveryouwant Idon’tcare”Hewalkedaway,slamminghistrashintoa nearbytrashcan.
Mateoturnedhishazeleyestome.“Ihaveneverseenhimthisupsetbefore.”
“Ihave,”Ireplied,watchingJackwalkouttotheparkinglot.“Hewasthisangryoneothertime,eightyearsago.Atapool party”
“Whatcausedit?”Mateoasked.
Igrimaced.“AlyssaFord.”
“Youaregoingthroughwithit?”heasked.“Thedate?Eventhoughheisthismad?”
“Jack’llbeevenmoremadifIcancelonaccountofhim.Besides,Idon’twanttobailonthegirlafewhoursbeforeourdate. Real dickmove.I’ll takeher out,show her agood, innocent time,anddropher offattheendofthenightwithakissonthe cheek That’sit”
Iintendedtodojustthat Ireallydid AsmuchasIwantedtopushJacktoacknowledgeanddealwithhisfeelings,Ididn’t wanttogetinvolvedwithAlyssaFord.Therewaswaytoomuchbaggagetherebetweenherandmybestpal. Butthenighthadotherplansforus.
IpulledintoJack’s drivewayandfoundAlyssasittingonachair bytheguesthouse.Shewas wearingaredsundress with yellowflowerdesigns,onelegcrossedovertheother.Shehadagreatsetoflegs.NotthatIwaslooking.Myintentionswere innocenttonight,afterall ButIcouldn’thelpbutnotice “YoulooklikeyoubelongintheFloridasun,”Isaidwhileholdingthepassengerdooropenforher “Ididgrowuphere!”shereplied,givingawavebacktowardtheguesthouse.Hersister her twin,Ihadtoremindmyself gave a little wave frominside the door Even though I lived in Clearwater for a full year, I didn’t remember much about Brandi.Alyssawastheonethatstuckoutinmymemory.
“Kindanice,pickingupadate,”Isaidwhilepullingoutofthedriveway.“Remindsmeofhighschooldates.Morechivalrous times Smalltalkwiththeparents GladIdon’thavetodothat” “YoudatedLindseyChatwellinhighschool,right?” Iglancedoverather “Yourememberthat?” “Sure.She’smarriednow.Hasfivekids.”
“Six,”Icorrected.“Justhadanewborn.PhotoswereonFacebookaweekortwoago.”
Alyssashookherhead.“Sixkidsbyagetwenty-six.Ican’timaginebeingpregnantprettymuchnon-stopforsixyears.”
“Meneither.Although,Ican’timaginebeingpregnantatall!”
Shelaughedrichly,whichwasmusictomyears.Ilikedmakingwomenlaugh.Ifyoucouldmakeawomanlaugh,mydadhad alwayssaid,youcouldgetfarwiththem.
NotthatIhadsuchintentionswithAlyssa.Itwasgoingtobeaninnocentnight,afterall.
“Didyouworktoday?”sheasked. Ishookmyhead.“Nope!Hadthedayoff.”
“Doanythingfun?”
“Ohyeah,lotsoffun.Sleptin‘tilalmostnoon.Hadlunchwiththeboys.Organizedmydresser.”
“Organizedyourdresser?Woahnow,don’tgettoocrazy!”
“Whataboutyou?What’dyourdayentail?”Iasked.
She groaned. “Mydaywas the opposite of fun. Brandi and I went to our mother’s upholsteryshop, but found out it was closed.Theemployeeswereallgone.Wespenttwohoursmakingcallstotrytofindsomeonewiththekey,butnoneofthem wereavailable Sowe’remeetingwiththemtomorrow”
Ipulledintotheparkinglotofthebeachrestaurant,andputmycarintopark.“IfeellikeI’mmissingsomething.Whynotget thekeyfromyourmum?”
Alyssasnorted.“ItwouldprobablyhelpifIgiveyouallthecontext,huh?Ourmotherdiedlastweek.”
AsIgotoutofthecar,itfeltlikeI’dbeenpunchedinthegut Hermumhaddied? Last week? Itwasawondershewasableto stand.
WhenIcamearoundthesideofthecar,IinstinctivelywrappedmyarmsaroundAlyssaandgaveherahug.Afull-bodyhug, likewewereclosefriends TheonlykindofhugIknewhowtogive “I’msosorry,Alyssa Ididn’tknow Ifyou’renotinthe rightmindset,Icantakeyouhome…”
Alyssa surprised me by laughing “Oh no, I’m fine Seriously Except for annoyances stemming from her poorly-run business.”
Sheseemedlike shewas tellingthetruth,soIledher intothe restaurant.Itwas rightonthe beach,completelyopentothe freshgulfair Thebar atthecenter ofthespacewas shapedlikeanoval,facingall 360degrees,withmaybeadozentables scatteredaroundit.Ipickedatwo-persontablefarthestfromthebar,overlookingthesandandsurf.SheorderedaMiamiVice,
whichwasessentiallyafrozenstrawberrydaiquiriandapiñacoladalayeredontopofeachother.“Thatsoundsgood.Makeit two,”Isaidwithasmile.
Ourdrinksarrived,andwetoasted.Thentherewasanawkwardsilenceasshesurveyedthemenu.Thedressshowedoffa lot of beautiful cleavage, especiallywhile she leaned forward to lookat the menu, but I didn’t look I was too muchof a gentlemanforthat.
“Youalreadyknowwhatyou’regetting?”sheasked.
Alyssa had nice eyelashes, too. Especially when she gazed up at me through them. “Same thing I always get. The fried grouper.It’salwaysfreshcaught,rightoverthere.”Inoddedouttothegulf.
“Youalwaysgetthesamething?Kindofboring,”shegentlyteased.
Ispreadmyhands.“I’mamanwhoknowswhathewants,andiseasytoplease.Also,thefriedgrouperisoutstanding.” Shesmiled.“Ilikeyour confidence.”Thewaiter appeared,andAlyssahandedhimbothour menus.“We’ll bothhavefried grouper”
“Orderingforyourdate,”Isaid.“Thatshowsconfidence.”
Sheraisedaneyebrow.“You’renotemasculated,areyou?”
“Notevenclose,”Irepliedhonestly.Ifanything,herconfidenceturnedmeon,althoughIwouldn’ttellherthat.
Alyssasippedherdrinkandsighedhappily.“CanIadmitsomethingtoyou?” “Always.”
“Ionlygaveyoumynumber,”sherevealed,“tomakeJackjealous.Isthatshittyofme?”Shepunctuatedtheadmissionwith thecutestlittlewince.
Ileanedbackinmychair andlaughed.“Ionlyasked you outto make Jackjealous!He was beingall sillyaboutyou, so I calledhisbluff Butitdidn’twork”
Sheraisedherdrinktowardme “Thenthatmakesthisdateawfullysimple,doesn’tit?”
“Norulesorexpectations,”Iagreed “Wecanhaveaniceeveningtogether,thengoourseparateways”
“I’llpayformyhalfofthedinner,”sheadded Iimmediatelyshookmyhead.“Absolutelynot.Thisisstilladate,andI’mstillagentleman.Besides,yourhousejustburned down.You’vehadaroughgo.Maybedinnerwilleasethingsabit,yeah?”
“Youalreadycarriedmeoutoftheburningbuilding,”Alyssapointedout.“Isn’tthatenough?”
“Not even close” I considered revealing that Jack had been the one to carry her out, but that would only start a fight wheneversheconfrontedJackaboutit.Itwasstupidofmybestpaltolieaboutthat,butthatwashisdecisiontomake.
Alyssa leaned back and crossed one leg over the other, causing her dress to slide up another inch. Not that I looked or anything.“This takes the pressure offofthe night.Iwas tryingtofigure outhow torejectyouatthe endofthe nightwithout hurtingyourfeelings”
“Ihadaplan,”Isaid “Iwasgoingtowalkyoutoyourdoor,kissyouonthecheek,andsaygoodnight”
Shegaspedandtouchedherface “Howscandalous”
“ButIagree Ifeelalotmorerelaxednow Wedon’tevenhavetodoanyofthatsmalltalktotrytogettoknoweachother” “Oh!Istill wanttodothat!”sheinsisted.“That’s thebestpartofafirstdate: all thesmall talk.Goahead.Whatwereyou goingtoask?”
“Areyoucertain?”Iasked.“Theseareprettysaucyquestions.Youmightrethinkhowyouwantthenighttogo.”
Sheleanedforward “Givemeyourworst”
“Youwerewarned”Iclearedmythroat “Ifyoucouldhavedinnerwithanyoneinhistory,deadoralive,whowoulditbe?”
Alyssaraisedaneyebrow “That’syourquestion?” “Iwarnedyouitwouldbesaucy”
“AnnieLeibovitz,”sherepliedwithouthesitation.“Thephotographer.” “Explain.”
Alyssa’s eyes sparkled withexcitement. “She’s one ofthe mostfamous photographers inhistory. She specialized inmajor figures in pop-culture If you think of a famous photograph from 1970 to 2000, it was probably taken by Annie She photographed Queen Elizabeth, Keith Richards and Mick Jagger, Demi Moore, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Gisele Bundchen, LeBronJames.”Shesnappedher fingers.“Here’s oneyouprobablyknow.ThefamousphotographofJohnLennonandYoko
Ono.Johnisnude,curlinghisbodyinthefetalpositionaroundYoko.”
“Ido knowthatphoto,”Isaid,picturingitinmyhead.“Wasn’tittakenafewdaysbeforehewasmurdered?” “Afew hours,”shereplied.“It’saperfectexampleofhow contextchangesaphoto.Whenitwastaken,itwasfull oflove andenergy.Butafewhourslater,afterJohnwasdead,thephototoldacompletelydifferentstory.Itwastheirlastkiss.It’slike theyweresayinggoodbye”
“Wow,”Isaid “That’spowerful”
Shenodded.“Annieisdefinitelymyanswer.I’dlovetohavedinnerwithher,pickingherbrainaboutherlife.Ibetshehas someamazingstoriestotell.”Herblondecurlsswayedassheshookherhead.“Okay,yourturn.”
Ismiledsadly.“Myanswerisgoingtobringdownthemood.”
“Aw,comeon!That’sacop-out”
“All right, butIwarned you” Itooka longsip frommydrink “IfIcould have dinner withanyone inhistory, I’d pickmy mum.”
Alyssa’sfacetwistedfromcuriosity,tosurprise,tounderstanding.“Oh.”
“No,it’sallright.ShediedwhenIwasthirteen.Time’shealedthatwound.”
“Youtwowereclose?”
Inodded “Idon’thaveanybrothersorsisters Itwasjustus Anddad,buthewasgoneforworkalot IwishIcouldhave dinnerwithheronelasttime,toletherknowIturnedoutallright.”Ismiled.“She’stheonewhotoldmetoseetheworldas muchas I could. That’s whyI signed up to be a foreignexchange student. I wouldn’t have ended up here if not for her.” I gesturedwithmydrink.
Alyssacockedher head.“That’s sweet.IwishI’dhadthatkindofrelationshipwithmymother.Okay,nomoresadtopics. What’sthenextsmalltalkquestionyouweregoingtoask?”
“Favoritebandormusician,ofcourse.”
“Aclassicquestion.You’regoingtorollyoureyesatme,butTaylorSwift.”
Imaintainedeyecontactandpointedatmyself.“Seethis?Noeyerollinghere.Irespectyourartisticopinion,AlyssaFord.” “You’retrulyagentleman,LiamCampbell,”shegiggled.“What’syouranswer?”
“FlightoftheConchords.”
“Neverheardofthem.”
“They’re a two-manband fromWellington,” Iexplained “Theydo sortofjoke comedysongs Had a show onHBOfor a littlebit.”
“Comedysongs?Eyeroll.”Shedramaticallyrolledhereyes.“Youdon’thaveananswerthatplaysrealmusic?” Igasped.“Real music?Surelyyou’renotbesmirchingmyartistictastes,especiallyafter Iwas somagnanimous aboutyour answer.”
Sheheldoutherhands.“Sorry,sorry.Irespectyouranswer.”
“OnemorestrikeandIwill makeyoupayforyourhalfofdinner!”
Thetwoofuslaugheditoff.
“Nextquestion!”shesaideagerly. “Favoritemovie.”
Shewinced.“Justone?”
“Justone,”Ireplied
“Whataboutfavoritecomedy,andfavoritedrama?”
“That’snotthequestion Youhavetopickone”
Shesighed “Fine ScottPilgrimvs theWorld” Ifeltsomethingtwistinsidemychest.“What?”
Alyssagazedoutatthebeachwhilespeaking.“It’sthischeesymoviefromtenorsoyearsago.Basedoffacomicbook.You havemypermissiontorollyoureyesasmuchasyouwant”
Ijuststaredather Wasshebeinggenuine?Icouldn’ttell Ididn’tknowherwellenough
Shefinallyglancedatme “What?”
