“Passionate,sexy,andheartwarming, Lonely for You Only is a love storythatcaptures the sizzlingchemistry,playful moments,andbreathlesslongingoffallinginlove.”
Momglides into the elevator, careful notto step onthe tulle She’s wearingimpossiblyhighLouboutinstilettos, and she couldteartheskirtwithease.Thoseshoesarelikeweapons.
Butmymother is verycareful andwouldnever dothat.This is mynight,andshe wants metoshine.This eventis being thrownforme,anditishuge.Outrageous.
Maybeevenborderlinecompletelyoverthetop
Okay,there’snothingborderlineaboutit Thepartyisdefinitelygoingtobecompletelyoverthetop,thankstomyfather He neverdoesanythinghalfway.Ithelpstohavemoneylikeourfamilydoes.Whenmultigenerationalwealthismanagedcorrectly, likeit’sbeenfortheLancastersalltheseyears,it’sguaranteedtotakecareofthefamilyforever.
As longas no one comes alongand spends it all. Myfather comes close withhis lavishways. As the youngest of the Lancasterbrothers,he’sconsideredtheblacksheepofthefamily Therebel Theoutlier
“You’re beautiful.” Mom’s cool palmpresses into my forearm, her touch gentle. Reassuring, as always. “The dress is stunning You arestunning Rememberhowyousaidyouwantedtomakeastatementwhenyouwalkedintoyourparty?”WhenI nod,shecontinues.“Trustme,darling.Inthatdress,you’regoingtodoit.Noonewillbeabletolookawayfromyou.Nota singleperson,includingyou-know-who.”
Myheartbeatsheavier ather not-so-subtlereference.Iwringmyhandstogether,takingadeepbreath,holdingitinfor a beattoolongbeforeIletitoutshakily Ishouldn’tbenervous Thiseveningpromisestobefun Magical
“Celebrityiswheresuccessisat,”Iantoldmeonceatafamilydinner,mesittingnexttohimbreathlessandhangingonhis everyword.“They’realwaysinvolvedinsomesortofscandalandneedanattorneytobailthemout.Itwouldbeeasymoney, representingactors andmusicians.Celebrities whodonothingbutmake videos for their so-calledfollowers.” He rolledhis eyes
Itriedtoignoretheinsultingtoneofhisvoicewhenhesaidthat,consideringI’mtryingmybesttobecomeaninfluencerof some sort. Ihave a small following. People listento me. Somewhat. Ithelps thatIcome fromone ofthe oldest, wealthiest familiesinthecountryandthatmyfatherwas stillis somewhatfamous.
His infamy is sometimes to my detriment, but I work with his past and even current reputation as best as I can. EventuallyIwanttomakeadifferencewithmyplatform I’mnotouttojustgetfreestuff
WhileI’mstillnotsurewhatIwanttodowithmyfuture,Ianhasaplanfirmlyinplace.AndIwanttobeapartofthatplan so badlyIcanpracticallytaste it. NotthatIwould ever tell him, butIoftenimagine myselfas his wife. The mother ofhis children the perfectboyand girl. Theywould be beautiful, well mannered, and well spoken. The perfectrepresentationof theirequallyperfectfather
“Oh, don’t worry about being late. The guest of honor should always make a grand entrance,” Momsays with all that elegantauthorityIwishIcouldemulate.She’ssoconfidentinherpositionasFitzLancaster’swife.
“I’mdefinitelymakinga grand entrance tonight Notsure how they’ll miss me inthis dress” Igrab atthe skirts, fluffing themout,wishingIcouldborrowjustanounceofmymother’scoolconfidencefortheevening.
“Darling,youareabsolutelystunning,”Momsaysoncesheexitstheelevator,hergazeonme.“I’mgoingtotextyourfather and askhimto joinus out here. We’ll escort youinto the ballroomand have themannounce you’ve arrived. What do you think?”
The Lancaster fortune is vast Dad could totallygetTaylor to make a special appearance atmyparty He could payher millionsanditwouldn’tmakeadentinthefamilybankaccount
Aspotlighthitsus,illuminatingthethreeofusinshimmeringpink,andIblinkagainstthebrightness,unabletomakeoutany friendlyfaces.Theapplauseispoliteaswewalkdownthestairs,afewshoutsof“happybirthday”comingfromdeepwithin thecrowd.All Icandois smileandnod,pretendingIknow whois sayingwhattomeas wefinallycomeoffthestairs and walkpastthecrowds,movingdeeperintotheroom
I’mtrembling.God,Ievenstumble,andthankfullymyparentskeepmeuprightsoIdon’tfallandmakeacompletefoolof myself. Mommurmurs words of encouragement, telling me to keep my chin up and make eye contact, and while I try, the spotlightismakingitimpossible.
Tate Ramseyand the rest of Five Car Pileup were huge five years ago One of those boybands put together withan auditioncall,theyevenhadaone-seasonrealityshow thatIvaguelyrememberwatching Theyalsohadquiteafew
Trashinghotel rooms while ontour. One ofthemhad a sexscandal withanunderage groupie that eventuallygot swept undertherug.Theypartiedconstantly,muchtothehorrorofalltheparentsofyoungteenagegirls.Socialmediastartedcalling thembadinfluences,andtheirreputationsweretarnishingbitbybit
Tatewastheonlyoneinacommittedrelationshipwhentheywereaband He’dbeensteadilydatinghislongtimegirlfriend fromhighschool,andtheywereportrayedasmadlyinlove.Fanshatedher for “stealing”thecutest,mostpopular one and thenwehatedherevenmorewhenshewascaughtcheatingonTate.
WithanotherFiveCarPileupbandmember.
Oh,thatsituationbecameuglyfast Tatewentonadrunken,drug-fueledbenderandmadeacompletejokeofhimself Their labeldroppedthem Thebandbrokeup Thegossipsitescrucifiedhimspecifically NoonewantedtobenearTateRamsey.
“Yes,somethinglikethat Youpayfiftydollars,andhewishesyouapersonalizedhappybirthday Your father senthima privatemessageandmadehimanofferhecouldn’trefuse”Momshakesherhead,herdelicatebrowsdrawntogether “Howmuchdidheofferhim?”Ibracemyselffortheanswer.
Iduckmyheadforamoment,mycheeksgrowingwarm.Pleasedthathe’sactuallycheckingmeoutforonce.“Hi,Ian.” “Thatdress ”Hisvoicedrifts,andIwaitbreathlesslyforhimtotellmeIlookbeautiful Gorgeouseven “It’ssobig” Disappointmenthits.Thatwasn’tnecessarilythereactionIwashopingfor. I glance down at myself, grabbing the tulle and giving the skirt a little shake. “I wanted to make a statement on my birthday.”
“Prettyimpressive entertainment tonight,” Ianmuses, his gaze focused above us, where one ofthe aerialists myparents hirediscurrentlyswingingfromachandelier She’sscantilyclad,herpale,lithebodyonfulldisplayasshecontortsherarms
I take the rose fromhim, fighting disappointment He didn’t respond to my flirting attempt, of course He’s always so literal.It’shardtoteasehim.Hetakeseverythingsoseriously.
“Thousands ofthem,” Iadmit,myvoice soft.Andtheylookgorgeous.Mymother wentall out she’s the one behindthe floralarrangements.Myfavoritesarethegiantheartsmadeofavarietyofflowersandgreenery.
“Scarlett, hey.” My cousin Crew’s fiancée suddenly appears in front of us, a big smile on her pretty face. “Happy birthday!”
WeembraceandIsqueezehertight WrenandCrewareacoupleofyearsolderthanme,andI’velovedgettingtoknowher whenshe accompanies himto familyfunctions. She’s sweet and smart and heavilyinto art, so she’s always got something interestingtosay.
“Thankyou,”Itell her beforewewithdraw,glancingover atIan,who’s watchingthebothofus withastoicexpression. “Wren,thisisIan”
Everythinginside ofme deflates, and myshoulders slump. Evenmysmile falls, and Iknow Wrencansee it. She smiles brightly,wavingherhandatthestage,whereoneofthosegiantfloralheartsishangingasabackdrop
Wouldn’t that be amazing? Our wedding at the Plaza. Our families so proud, so incredibly happy as they watch. Our ceremonyandreceptionwouldlookjustlikethis Hundredsofpeopleinattendance Flowerseverywhere Deliciousfoodand thealcohol endlesslyflowing AmassivecakethatIanwouldnever smashinmyface Mewearingdelicateantiquelaceand lookinglikeafairyprincess.Iandashinginablacktuxedo.
“Well yes” Rachel is just giving me grief, something she’s tremendously good at She’s been encouraging me for monthstotellIanhowIfeelabouthim,andI’malwaysmakingexcusesaboutwhyIcan’tsayanythingtohim
“Does she think we’re together? Your other friend thought the same thing.” He sounds amused. And this is the perfect segue...
No, it can’t, Iwantto tell him, butIsaynothing. Ijustwatchhimgo, mychestachingas Istare athis retreatingback. I realize quicklythatmanyofthe guests are watchingme, curiosityintheir gazes, and Iwonder ifmyfeelings are writtenall overmyface.IfI’mthatobvious.
Probably,yettheverymanIwanttonoticemyfeelingsiscompletelyoblivious Rachel, though? She’s giving me two thumbs up and an enthusiastic grin. I can only smile helplessly at her, my heart threateningtobeatitselfoutofmychestathavingsomanypeoplewatchingme.
Iquicklyshakemyhead,andwithoutansweringhim,Idarttowardthestairs,earningsomegood-naturedlaughter Ipickup myskirts and take the steps carefully, stoppingshortwhenRachel rushes toward me, pullingme into a hugand deliveringa smackingkisstomycheekbeforeshepullsaway.
Thesmirkhasturnedintoagenuinesmileashegreetsthecrowd,hisdeepvoicefillingtheroomwhenhesayshello The womenaroundmeseemtoswoonallatonce,theirbodiesswayingtowardthestage Towardhim
“Please He’s paid to stare at me,” I remind her out of the side of mymouth, never tearingmygaze fromhis Despite knowing this is all a facade thanks to the million-dollar payment my father made, I’mswaying to the beat, unable to help myself.
Ifinallytear mygaze fromhis, grinningatRachel, who offers a little shoulder shimmyas her response. Beingwithher helpsmeforgetmyworryoverIan,andIletthemusictakeover,cheeringwhenTatedoesn’tmissabeatwhileslippingintothe nextsong.
Andthenextone
Yetanotheroneafterthat
The crowd feels like it’s grown. Iglance around, confused byall the unfamiliar faces surroundingme. Are there people herewhoweren’tinvited?Maybetheyheardhimsingingfromthecorridoranddecidedtopeekinside,andnowthey’recaught upinTate’svoice,dancingtothesongsthatarefamiliarFiveCarPileuphits.
“I saw the way he just looked at you” Rachel sidles up so she’s standing directly to my right, her mouth at my ear, murmuringencouragingwords “Thewayhecan’tstoplookingatyou” “Youalreadysaidthat.”
“Doyouthinkhe’sgoingtostopsoon?”IaskRachel,myhipsstillmovingtothebeatofthedrum “Whywouldyouwanthimtostop? He’s the hitofthe party!” Rachel throws her arms upinthe air andshakes her head fromsidetoside,mouthingalongwiththewordsasTatesings.
Iglanceupathimashemovestotheothersideofthestage,singingdirectlytoaclusterofolderwomenwatchinghimwith adoringeyes. Someone steps onmyskirt, and Ihastilyyankthe tulle outofthe wayso itdoesn’tgetripped. The womanis obliviousasshecontinuouslyshoutshisname “Tate!Tate!Tate,overhere!”
Lancasterwaspersistent,messagingmeconstantlyabouthowhisdaughteristurningeighteenandhe’sthrowingheraparty. Iwas her favorite member ofFive Car Pileup, blahblahblah. I’ve heard itall before, a thousand times over. She probably humpedherfavoritestuffedanimaltothoughtsofmelateatnightwhilestaringataposterofthebandonherwall Igetit Thisscenarioisn’tnewtome
He somehow got myphone number, and whenhe called, I picked up because I saw the name Lancaster flashingonmy screen. NextthingIknow, we’re talkingaboutcars and music and fashiondesigners all shitIcare aboutlike the shallow asshole Icanstill be. Anhour later, and he’s gotme agreeingto performa full setofsongs athis precious babydaughter’s birthdayparty Mypayment?
Onemilliondollars
Yeah,Icould not turnthatamountdown.Ithoughtatfirsthemightbeplayingme,butafterourlongphoneconversation,he toldmehefeltwehadaconnection,andhewantedtohelpmeout.
NowhereIam,onstageandsingingmyheartoutinfrontofaliveaudienceforthefirsttimeinyears,anditfeels...damn good
Don’tgetmewrong.Ipreppedandpracticedduringtheweeks leadinguptothis event.Hiredavocal coachI’dworked withyears ago and did some vocal exercises to getready. After a few hour-longlessons paid for withsome ofthe money Fitzysentme as anadvance he told me Isounded better thanIever had. Ifigured he was blowingsmoke up myass, but maybehewasright,becausetonight,thisperformance
soberandImeditateandI’vemetwithalifecoachmoreoftenthanIcaretoadmit.Igotothegymfivedaysaweek Planet Fitness, not a private trainer, but a guydownonhis luckcanonlydo so much. I repeat affirmations onthe daily, and I’ve recentlyreducedmyredmeatconsumption Damnit,I’mhealthy,andsometimes SometimesI’mboredasshit.
Iscanthescreamingcrowd,lookingforLittleMissPinkPouf Thebirthdaygirlcan’tbemissedinthedressthatreminds meofanelaboratecake Clearly,she’stryingtocatchpeople’sattention,andIsupposeIcan’tblameherconsideringthisparty is all for her. Hundreds ofpeople inattendance, lushflowers everywhere thatprobablycosta fortune, and thenthere’s that tablefullofcakesInoticedearlier,whenherfatherinformedmeratherproudlythatthereareeighteenoftheminhonorofhis preciousScarlett.
She’s a spoiled-rottenprincess, I’msure Despite the overwhelmingdress thatcould’ve made her completelydisappear, shestilllookshotasfuck.Allthatlongbrownhairspillingdownherback.Thedark-browneyesthatappearfathomless.She wassmilingandeatingmeupwiththatgazeearlier.Dancingfrontandcenterofthestageatthebeginningofmyset,butnowI don’tknowwhereshewent.
It’s kind ofhot, how she mightbe a little mad. Ican’tstop smiling, knowingI’maggravatingthe shitoutofher. Idon’t normallygetoffonmakingawomanmad,butIgottaadmit... Thisisfun.
Thesmall bandhiredtobackmestartsupthefamiliartune,andIsingthesimplelyrics,slowingthetunedown,mygaze never strayingfromhers Her cheeks turnas pinkas the dress she’s wearing, apprehensionshininginher darkgaze, butshe doesn’tbackdown
No, she takes it. Itryto make the words sound suggestive, like MarilynMonroe did so longago whenshe sang“Happy Birthday” to the president, butIdon’tthinkit’s working. I’mnota bombshell ina clingy, glitterydress tryingto seduce the commanderinchief.
Scarlettturnsright,disappearingbehindagiantfloralheartthatmatchestheoneonthestage,andIgoafterher,increasing mypace, catchingup withher easily WhenI get close enough, I reachfor her, grabbingher bythe elbow and haltingher progress
All those womenscreamingmyname onlya few minutes ago, and it was nothingcompared to how I’mfeelinginthis moment,withthehotlittlerichgirlcontemplatingmelikeI’madelicioussnack.
This causes mygaze to drop, takinginher exposed legs. They’re longand thinand shinywithlotion. She has onthose strappysilverstilettos,andhertoenailsarepaintedapalepinkthatmatchesthedress.
Okay,thiswomanisconfusing.“Youcan’tleave.Thisisyourparty.Andwho’sIan?” Iglancearound,mygazesnaggingonaphotographerlurkingbehindthemassiveflowerheart,hiscamerapoisedinfrontof him Likehe’ssneakingphotographsofus
She’s quietfor a moment, contemplatingme. She’s aboutto turnher head to checkoutthe photographer, butItouchher cheek,keepingherinplace. Keepinghergazeonmine.
He seemed so desperate As ifthe lastthinghe wants to deal withis a nosypaparazzo splashinga bogus argument betweenusallovertheinternet.Inthatmoment,thepleadingexpressiononhisface,Ifeltbadforhim.
Then I thought of Ian and how ridiculous he’s being and had the quick realization that maybe he needs a push. The possibilityofhimseeingmewithsomeoneelsewastooirresistible.NextthingIknow...
DidImentionthathe’ssomuchmorehandsomethanheeverwaswhenhewasinFiveCarPileup?Heisallmannow.Oh, the boyishlysweetsmile frombefore was still there throughouthis performance,as well as thatcharisma he always exuded backinthedaywhenhewasontopoftheworld.Whenyoucouldn’tgoanywherewithouthearingaboutFiveCarPileupand theirtour Theirsongs Theirinfluenceonteenagegirlsworldwide
The photographer lowers his massive camera withthe giant flash how did I not notice himbefore? and grins at us. “Always hopingfor a little more fromyou, Tate. Youknow how itis. And letme justsaythatIthinkyoutwo make a nice couple”
Itcouldn’tbe the kiss thataffected me. Notlike that. Maybe itwas the champagne I’ve consumed tonight. Idon’treally drink. Notevenatparties whenIwas still inhighschool. Butmaybe the few glasses I’ve snucktonightwentstraightto my head
“I can’t believe they snuck into my party.” I bend my head, shaking out my skirts, trying to fight another wave of disappointment Myeighteenthbirthday,andtheonlyreasonIkissaguyissowecoulddistractaphotographer
Ianwasn’t impressed bymydress, myparty none of it I don’t evenknow where he is I’ve wasted a lot of time crushingonhim,whenclearly,he’snotinterestedinme.
He’smadethatmorethanobvious.
“Your father spared no expense for this party.” Tate smiles, and a fleet of butterflies erupts inmystomach, makingme breathless “Aneventlikethisalwaysdrawsalotofmediaattention”
“Myparentsdidmentiontheyinvitedafewreportersandphotographersthey’recloseto,tocovertheevent.Mostlyfrom fashionmagazinesandsites.”Myparents’weddingwasfeaturedin Vogue and Town & Country.Theywerethechicestcouple inNewYorkCityatonepointduringtheearlyyearsoftheirmarriage.
“Right.” I’mdistracted as Iglance around the massive ballroom, realizingthat we’re ina verydarkand private corner tucked away from everyone else. The party is raging on without me. I can hear conversations flowing, accompanied by laughter. Music is playing, a slow, sensuous beat, and that’s when I spot two women draped in pearls and not much else dancingacrossthestage,massivepinkfeatherfansintheirhands
Ivaguelyremembermyfathermentioninghehireddancersfortheparty Looksliketheystartedtheirperformance “Ishould go.” Iturnto Tate, his gaze liftingto mine rather guiltily, and Iwonder whathe was staringat. Mybutt? How couldheevenseeitinthisdress?“I’msuremyfatherexpectsmetowatchthedancers.”
Is he still thinkingaboutit? Iam,eventhoughI’dbe loathtoadmitit.He’s notthe manIwantedtokiss onmybirthday, thoughmyyoungerselfwould’veabsolutelydied atthechancetokiss the TateRamsey Buthe’snotthatsameteenheartthrobanymore AndI’mnotthatyounggirlanymoreeither Thekisswasstillgood,though,asreluctantasIamtoadmitit.
“They’realmostdone”Rachelhooksherarmthroughmine,hersmilebright “They’regreatandall,butnoonecantopthat performance byTate Ramsey. MyGod, he was amazing! I hope youenjoyed it, or were youworryingabout Ianthe entire time?”
“They kind of did. He caught my eye at one point during the song, and the way he stared at me I swear he was smoldering.”Rachelfansherselfwithherfingers.“Sosexy.”
Anunfamiliar feelingrises up withinme, and Iglare atmybestfriend, realizingonlymoments later thatthe feelingI’m experiencingisgoodold-fashionedjealousy.“Idon’tknowifIwouldconsiderhimsexy.”
“Liar.He’shotashellandhadeverywomaninthisroomscreaming.Eventheoldgrandmas.”Rachelglancesaround,her sparklinggaze meetingmine once she’s done a thoroughsweep. “Where did youdisappear to, anyway? Please tell me you weretalkingtoTate ThatheaskedforyournumberorpromisedhewasgoingtoDMyou” Igrimace “No,hedidn’taskmeforanything” Well,hedidaskforafavor... AndIendedupkissinghim,whichwasokay.
“I’mnotgoingtoaskhimforanyBilliestories,”Imutter,shakingmyhead “Aha!”Rachelpointsanaccusatoryfingeratme.“You were talkingtohim.Didsomethinghappenbetweenyoutwo?You disappearedfor a longtime.Didyougive himyour number? Didhe follow youonsocial media? Whatifhe slips intoyour DMs?Youhavetorespondtohim.WhatifyougotthechancetoactuallygooutonadatewithfreakingTateRamsey?”
Shestartsbouncingupanddown,giddyattheidea I grab hold of her shoulders and shake her a little, her dazed gaze meetingmine “Nothinghappened And nothing will happenbetweenmeandTate.IlikeIan,remember?”
