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To everyone searching for that one special someone
Prologue
Mary
Hemeetsmeoutsidetheclub,givesmeatemporarycollar for theevening,andthenleadsmetohisreservedsuite.After he closesthedoor,Ishedmyblacktrenchcoatanddisplaymycandy-apple-redpanties andnothingelse Iwaitasplitsecond forhisreactiontomynudity,butitdoesn’tcome.
I walk to the bed in the corner and lie down on my side my seductive pose that all the Doms seem to love My hair tickles my shoulders.
“Hello, my dark prince,” I say. He doesn’t reply
He doesn’t want to talk, and that’s fine. I understand. I’m here for him, to do what he wants I’m a good sub
But I’m not his sub.
I don’t belong to anyone, and that’s how I like it
He will keep me safe while we share a scene together. Once we ’ re outside the club, we’ll go our separate ways. Perhaps we’ll play again.
Perhaps we won’t
I watch him. I always watch my Dom, especially when it’s clear he doesn’t want to talk. He gathers some leather rope, glides his fingers over it This particular Dom likes leather rope, which is good Leather is safer than silk or cotton It can be untied more quickly in case any problems which are rare arise.
He removes his jacket He’s wearing only black jeans
He’s gorgeous, with tanned skin, muscled abs and arms, thick sandy-blond hair, and beautiful hazel eyes “Kneel before me, ” he says gruffly.
He doesn’t ask for a kiss
Good thing. I won’t give him one. I don’t kiss my Doms. It’s not a hard limit for me, but it’s something I prefer to avoid. Kissing is too personal, and that’s not why either of us is here
We’re here for a scene. To play together. To dominate and submit for each of our pleasures. I amble off the bed not too quickly and drop to my knees before him, my head bowed “Thank you, ” he says, his voice low and husky “Thank you for trusting me this evening Thank you for agreeing to do a scene with me. ”
I nod, my gaze still on the floor I won’t look into his eyes until he commands me to do so It’s a sign of respect to my Dominant during a scene.
My flesh ignites Submitting is empowering to me I learned long ago that giving up my control in a sexual setting frees me, allows me to let go of my ego and put someone else’s desires before my own. It also allows me to explore my own limits with Doms I trust to see to my needs and safety Since becoming a member of Black Rose Underground, I’ve learned to trust something I never learned growing up or in the one BDSM relationship I’ve had outside of the club I’ve played with this Dom several times in the past. He’s powerful yet calming, and he’s damned good at pleasing a woman We have mutual respect for each other He doesn’t let emotion get involved I try not to, but how can I not? I like some Doms better than others. I enjoy some scenes more than others. This Dom, though He’s here for one thing Ascene Sexual gratification “Rise,” he says.
I obey and hold out my arms. He binds my wrists with the leather, and then he leads me to the pole in the center of the room and fastens my wrists to the top so I’m standing, arms elevated, tied to the pole He turns away from me then, and because I’m bound, I know better than to look over my shoulder to see what he’s doing. No doubt he’s choosing a toy for my flogging
I love being spanked, flogged, and whipped. Something about the warmth of a riding crop coming down on my ass, sizzling through my body and arrowing straight between my legs… It never fails to get me going Snap
I hold back a gasp. He’s using a whip this time. Odd. This Dom has only used a whip one other time in a scene with me the night I experienced one of the most intense orgasms ever
So I’m down
Snap. Again. Snap. Again.
The pain The beautiful, tingling pain It surges through me, around me, arousing me not just in my pussy but in my tingling nipples, my burning flesh.
Snap!Snap!Snap!
He’s being harsher than usual tonight, but I can handle it. I crave the pain, for it morphs into pleasure as the release I desire surges through me like lightning I close my eyes, succumb to the pain, the transcendence, the freedom Until I gasp
My skin. It’s broken. I’m bleeding, and “Tesla!” I shout
My safe word. The car I love that I’ll probably never be able to afford. The first time I’ve had to use it
But he doesn’t stop.
Snap!Snap!Snap!Snap!
Tesla!Tesla!Tesla!
But my lips don’t move. My larynx makes no sound. I’m falling, falling, falling…
Bleeding, bleeding, bleeding
Snap!Snap!Snap!
And Ijerkupwardinbed,myheartthunderingagainstmychest.
The words pulse in my mind. He uttered them, and then he took care of me. Cleaned the wound, applied antiseptic, apologizedagainandagain. Itoldhimitwasokay. AndIthoughtitwas.
Butthenthe nightmares began The nightmares where he keeps going, where he ignores mysafe word, and where mylips becomegluedshut.
Itake one more lookatmycustomer to make sure she doesn’tneed me, and thenIwalktoward the backofthe store and lowermyvoice “I’vetried,Brenda It’snothappening”
“MaybeI’mtiredofthescene MaybeIwanttobealittle vanillafromnowon”IgazeattheshelvesofBDSMtoysinthe back whips, floggers, bindings, cuffs. Tryingto be vanilla while still workinghere would be difficult. Maybe it’s time to moveon
Igaze atthe mirrored shelves behind the bar, the expensive liquor, the neonlighting. The bar is shinydarkwood. To the untrained eye, this is simplya Manhattanbar, butAlfred isn’tjustanybartender He works for the underground leather club here in the building. Black Rose Underground is owned by blue-collar billionaire Braden Black, who also owns this residentialbuilding.
But anyone can have a glitch, and to his credit, he stopped as soon as I said my safe word He took great care of me afterward,too.
Itake a sip ofmylemondrop. The tartness ofthe lemon, the sweetness ofthe simple syrup, and the alcoholic bite ofthe vodka all tickle mytongue Alemondropis the perfectdrinkfor me Nottoosweet,nottootart,nottooalcoholic Ilike to tastethealcoholinadrink,butIdon’tliketotasteonlyalcohol.OneoftheDomsIusedtoplaywithbeforehegotseriouswith hispermanentsubmissivealwaysdrinksmartinis Martinistastelikeammoniatome
Red is Brenda’s color. She has darkbrownhair and eyes, so it’s perfectonher. Withmyauburnhair, Irarelywear red, exceptforundergarments.
Ihave no idea whatBrenda’s wearingunderneath. Itcan’tbe anythingtoo risqué, though, because she’s notgoingto play tonight She’scomingtotheclubforme,tohelpmefeelcomfortable Helpmegetbackuponthehorse Nopunintended.
Ican’thelpachuckle.Ididmyshareofexperimentingincollege withmen and women whichishow IfoundoutI’ma naturalsubmissive ButBrenda?Sheneverstrayedfrommen Thewomanisasstraightasanarrow “You’refullofit,”Itellher.
That’salie,ofcourse.Daltonistall,withdarkbrownskinandabsthatwon’tquit.Hewasanewmemberoftheclubwhen heandBrendametandheaskedhertoplayascenewithhim. Neitheroneofthemhasplayedwithanyoneelsesince. “Bullshit,”shesays “He’stotallyyourtype” “Okay,yougotme.”IputmyglassdownandspinonmybarstoolsoI’mfacingBrenda.“WhatifDaltonandI had played together?Wouldthathavemessedupourfriendship?”
Brenda drops her mouthopenbutquicklycloses it “Well that’s up to you, Mare Butwhile you’re still a member, take advantageofit.Wewon’tdoanythingyou’reuncomfortablewith.We’ll haveanother drink.Dosomedancing.Maybechata little.Nothingserious.Andwe’llleaveassoonasyouwanttoleave.”Shegrinswide. IeyemyemptyglassthatAlfredhasn’tpickedupyet,temptedtoorderanother
NotbecauseIreallywantone BecauseI’m stalling.
She’sright,though IcangototheclubanddowhateverIwant Thisdoesn’thavetobeanythingIdon’twantittobe And theminuteI’mreadytoleave,Iwill.Ishouldatleasttry… Idrawinanotherbreath.“Allright,Brenda.Let’sgo.”
Complete with the buckles, clasps, and a freaking sporran the traditional Scottish pouch worn as part of traditional Highlanddress Hisisblackleatherwithsometypeofwhitefurtrim,andithangsfromachainaroundhiswaist,justbelowthe beltline andrightinfrontofthegoods.Thelookiscompletedwithkneesocksandblackshoes. Butfromthewaistabove?
Mymindhasgonetomush Andthenitgoes frommushtocompletelyliquefiedwhentheHighlander himselfwalks rightpastus turningtomakeeye contactwithme andcollideswithJennifer,whoisbringingdrinkstoanothertable Jennifer drops the trayand thenslips onthe slickwoodenfloor and ends up onher ass, her face rightatthe frontofthe hottie’skilt.Hereachesdowntohelpherup,butIcan’thearwhathe’ssaying.Probablyapologizing. Butshedoesn’ttakehishand Instead,shecocksherneckbackand OhmyGod…She’speekingunderhiskilt.
Brenda’s eyes are also glued to the scene Jennifer finallytakes the man’s hand, and another staffmember hurries over to wipe the drinks offthe floor. The kilted manleads Jennifer who’s smilingathimlongingly, whichfor some reasonIdon’t like;Imean,Ireallyhate it backtothebarandtakesaseat.
Whatwoulditfeelliketohavethosesearingblueeyesstaringdownatme?Smoldering… Brendagrabshercosmobythestemandadvancestowardthebarwithpurposefulstrides Damn it. Thiswassupposedtobeagirls’nightforus.
Brendaisamasteratflirtation.Shealwayshasbeen.Wealwayssaidweneverwantedtosettledown.Wewouldjustenjoy beingsubmissive for the eveningand thenlive our ownlives Ihonestlythoughtifone ofus wentbackonthose words and settleddown,itwouldbeme,nother.
Thegreen-eyedmonsterroarsthroughme butwhy?He’sgorgeous,nodoubt,buthecouldbeacompleteassholeforallI know Except he’s not Not the way he looked absolutely horrified when he ran into Jennifer and then helped her up and escortedherbacktothebar.
She takes it, returns my handshake. “So are we just going to not acknowledge your little faux pas when you passed my table?”
I chuckle. “First time that’s ever happened to me.” And it happened because I glanced at her gorgeous friend and then couldn’tlookaway “I’mjustgladtheserverisallright” “Jen’stougherthanshelooks,”Lotussays.“Ihaven’tseenyouherebefore.” “It’smyfirsttime.IjustmovedherefromGlasgow.”
I get that all the time, especially when I’m in my plaid. But I have no brogue. Not even slightly. “I lived most of my childhoodhereintheStates Mymother’sAmerican” “Isee.”
MoredetailsofherstrikemenowthatI’mupclose Thewaythefabricofherblackdresscomplementseverycurve,making everythingabouther appear softand touchable. The wayher hair catches the lightand shines inseveral differentshades of terracotta Andthatmouth thoseglossylipsonthatpertlittlemouth “Imetyourfriend,”IsayonceI’mseated.“Lotus.” “She’sengaged.”
Whywouldthatbeherfirstresponse?Icanguess Blossomdoesn’twantmenearherfriend Good “Iknow,Isawherring.ButI’mmoreinterestedin your relationshipstatus.”Imovetowardherlefthand,andathernod,I takeit It’scold Isshestillnervous?“Idon’tseearing”
Ican’thelpit Ileta slow smile spreadacross myface Idon’tusuallyallow myfeelings tobe knowntoa submissive I don’t usuallyeven have feelings for a submissive, other than fondness and genuine regard for her wellbeing and pleasure. Blossomisdifferent.
“This is my first night here,” I offer. “I only moved to New York a couple of months ago, and I researched all of the undergroundleatherclubsinthecitybeforechoosingthisone” “Oh?WhatattractedyoutoBlackRose?”
“Butthat’snotthereasonIchosethisclub That’sjusthowIheardaboutit Ichoseitforitsprivacy Itssecurity Theytakea lot of safetymeasures here, make sure everyone who comes inhere feels at ease. It feels similar to the club I attended in Glasgow.”
Hercheeksreddenfurther.“Isupposeyou’renotoneforromance.Butanyway,Imeantyoudon’tsoundScottish.” Right “IgrewuphereintheStates Mymother’sAmerican Ididallmyschoolinghere” “Igrewuphere,too,”shesays.“OnLongIsland,Imean.” “Butyoulive here now?”
If I askher to do a scene withme tonight, she would refuse. Not because she’s not attracted to me. I feel the chemistry betweenus it’shot,thick,andpalpable Iseehowshe’sbeencheckingmeout Somethingisbotheringher,though.She’saseasonedsubmissive.OfthatI’msure.Butshe’sclearlynotlookingforascene tonight NeitheramI.
But because he’s askingme to leave the club. Iknow nothingabout himother thanhow mybodyis reacting, whichboth frightens and arouses me. After months of not wanting to play, not wanting to even be here at the club…now I’mactually consideringleavingthissafespacewithacompletestranger “Whatdoesthatfacemean?”heasks.
“That’snot…”Iblowoutabreath.“Okay,you’reright.”Wejustmet,andhe’salreadyreadingmelikeabook.Nosensein denying it. “I’m not interested in playing with anyone tonight, and that’s not anything against you personally. I mean… You’re ”
Because I can’t let one bad scene rule my life. ButIdon’tutteranyofit Ismile,anddifferentwordsemergebeforeIhaveachancetothinkaboutthem “Tomeetyou?” Henarrowshisgaze,andhisblueeyesburn.MyGod,ifhedoesn’tlookawaysoon,Imayeruptintoflamesjustfromhis stare
“Ithinkmaybe I cametomeetyou,”hesays. “That’snottrue.”Iletoutanervouslaughthatsoundsmorelikeacroak.“Isawyousaunterinhere.Youcameforascene.” “Originally,yes You’reright ButthenIsawyou”Herakeshisgazeoverme,andifIdidn’tknowbetter,I’dthinkheburned mydress rightoffme. “And because Isaw youand couldn’tlookaway, Iended up makinga complete fool ofmyself.” He chuckles “DoIwanttoplaywithyou?Absolutely Butnottonight” “Soyou’renotrulingitout,”Isay.
“Oh,no,Blossom I’mnotrulingoutplayingwithyou The twoofus will do a scene together Iwill bind you, spankthat sweetass,sinkmycockdeepintoyou,allwhileyou’rebeggingmeformore.”
As Dominants and submissives, we know bodylanguage, evensomethingas small as the change inanother’s eyes or the subtlemovementofmusclestightening Andhesureashellcanreadminerightnow AgoodDominanthastobeabletoreadmeincasemymouthisboundandIcan’tspeakformyself.
I’mreallydoingthis Mystomachflutters actuallyfuckingflutters Ihaven’tbeenthis attracted to a manina longtime. I’mnotsure ifthat’s good or bad. I’mphysicallyattracted to all the DomsIplaywith,ofcourse.Ihavetobeforthescenetobeenjoyable.ButRonan…I’veneverseenanyoneasgorgeousashe is I’veneverhungonaman’severywordlikeIdowithhim Iwalkbacktowherehe’sstandingbesidethetable,waitingforme,hischestondisplayforeveryonetoogle. Andboy,aretheyogling Jenniferstandsnexttohim,laughingflirtatiouslyandwigglingherbaretits. “Oh,”shesayswhenIreturn.“Hi,Blossom.Ronanherewasapologizingtomeagain.I’vebeentellinghimnottoworry.” “I’mgladyou’reokay,”Ronansays,steppingawayfromherandtowardme. “Lookslikewe’releaving,Jen,”Isay.“Brenda’sstillatthebar.She’sstaying.”
AndGod thatmakesmewanthimallthemore “Blossom,”hesays,histonewarmbutfirm,“let’sgogetthatpizza.” Wewalktotheexit,andIretrievemyblacktrenchcoatandmyphone Ronangrabsahunter-greenshirtandpullsitoverhis head. Itlooks like it’s made ofcottonor linen, and its V-neckis closed witha leather tie. Ithas a billowydesignand long sleevesthatgatheratthewrists Hedoesn’ttuckitintohiskilt,lettingithangloose Itlookssexybutcomfortable “Doyouhavesomepantstochangeinto?”Iask. “No.”
Ishakemyheadtoclear it.Ican’tgobacktothepast.Ican’tdwell onwhatI’velost.Imustmoveforward.That’swhyI camebacktotheStates It’swhyIgotinvolvedwithBradenBlackandhiscompany,Black,Inc I plan to stay here. Because right now? Glasgow all of Scotland doesn’t seem like home anymore. Not with Keira wanting more from me than I can give and my parents who I love doing the same thing they’ve always done Putting businessandthemselvesoverme,theironlychild.
Marystopsatabrickbuildingwithaneonsignflashing“Gianni’s.”Underneathitisanothersign: The best pizza in the city! Actually,itsays, The best zza in the city! asthePandtheIareburnedout.Thisplacehasbeenaroundforawhile,andthat instantlywarmsmetoit.I’vealwaysbeendrawntothingswithahistorybehindthem.
Shetapsherfingerslightlyonherpizza.“Ithinkit’scoolenoughthatwecaneatitnow.Here’swhatyoudo.”Shepicksup herslice “Obviously,it’stoobigtoeatlikethiswithoutmakingamessofeverything,soyoufolditover”Sheliterallyfolds thepizzasliceintwosothatonlythecrustisvisible,andthenshetakesabitefromthetipofit.“See?”shesays,hermouth full Shechewsandswallows “Delicious”
Imimic her movements, foldingmypizza over into a smaller and narrower triangle. It’s still huge, though, and a drop of greasedribblesontomyplate.
Itakeabiteoffthetip,likeMarydid.It’sstillhot,butnothotenoughtoscorchtheroofofmymouth.Ilettheflavorsscatter over mytongue the yeastyzest of the dough, the robust acidic tartness of the tomato sauce, and the creamyumami of the mozzarellacheese
I swallow the bite of pizza I’mchewing “Not at all Whenyour grandmother runs a Creole restaurant one of the most popularinthecity there’salwayssomeonearoundtotalkto.”
I’mnotsure whyIkeep callingher that. I’ve never called anyone mo leannan. I’ve never looked for love, notinthe way mostpeopledo.KeiraandIweretogetherforfiveyearsinGlasgow.Wewereinthelifestylethere,atanexclusiveclub,but thenshedecidedshewantedmorethanIcouldgiveher
I know she said she was okay, but I feel terrible about leavingher there inthe club alone. She’s well knownthere, and everyoneknowsshe’sDalton’ssub she’sbeenwearinghiscollarforever sonoonewillharmher Theclubisaboutassafe aplaceasshecanbe.
“Sorry,ImeanLotus.” “Ah,”hesays “Doesanyoneattheclubknowyourrealnames?” “The owner and the head of security, Claude. Theyhave to approve all the applications. Thenit’s up to Brenda and me whetherwetellanyoneelseournames,soyoucan’tletonthatItoldyouhers” “Mylipsaresealed.”
“Itookover myfather’s companylastyear,” he says. “O’Connor Enterprises. We’re real estate developers, and we build high-endresortsalloverEurope WhenIwasgrowingup,myfathertraveledoverseasalot Hewasmakingakilling,andhe wasn’t interested inbreakinginto the Americanmarket at that time, despite the fact that we lived here. But Black, Inc. has decidedtobuildanewresortandcasinoinLasVegas.”
Iliftaneyebrow “Don’ttheymanufactureworkgoggles?” “That’s their keyproduct,” Ronansays. “What put BradenBlackonthe map all those years ago. But they’ve diversified sincethen Youdon’tbecomeabillionairebyproducingconstructiongoggles” “Isupposenot.I’msurprisedtheyhaven’tgottenintothehotelgamebeforenow.” “Their companyhasmanyother branches.Oncethiscameacrossmydesk,Icouldn’tsayno.Besides…itwasagoodtime formetoleaveGlasgow.ToleavetheUKaltogether.”
Yeah,Imusthaveoverstepped “Sure,”Isay Hereachesintohissporranandpullsoutamoneyclip.Sohedoeshavecash,afterall. Andthe clipis full ofhundred-dollar bills Damn Iresistthe urge to letmyeyes go wide There’s havingcash, and then there’shavingcash. Hepullsoutacrisphundred,placesitonthetable. “Youdon’thavetotiphere,”Isay “Weatehere,didn’twe?”
“That’sbeyondgenerous ” He holds up his hand again. “I do it because I can. Because I know it means a lot to the people who work in service positions.Oneday,ifIcannolongerdoit,Iwon’t.ButwhileIcan,Iwill.” Icockmyhead,lookupintothosegorgeousblueeyes He’sgenuine Thisisn’taflex It’ssimplegenerosity Hecan,sohe does.
Thecabpullsupatthecurb Timetosaygoodbye fornow “I’dlikethat,”Itellhim.“I’llbeattheclubtomorrowateighto’clock.” “ThenI’llseeyouthere.”Hegivesmeasearinggaze.“Goodnight, Blossom. ” Igetintothecab,andRonanclosesthedoorformebeforehewalksoff Iwatchhimforamoment,watchthewayhemoves inthat kilt and his Jacobite shirt. ThenI give the cabbie myaddress and close myeyes for the drive home, thinkingabout Ronan’slong,thick,silkyhairandwhatitmightfeellikebetweenmyfingers AndamillionotherthingsIwanttofeelwithhim.
