www.thecourieronline.co.uk Tuesday 12 March 2013 Issue 1268 Free
Spring 2013 ‘Three parents, one baby’ researchers seek permission Genetic research may cure • hereditary diseases IVF technique dubbed by • sceptics as ‘frankenscience’ A neurology professor at the University’s medical school has defended research into a highly controversial new IVF technique, which uses the DNA of one man and two women to create one baby. Professor Doug Turnbull, leader of the research team at the institute of Ageing and Health at Newcastle University, argues against claims the technique is ‘playing God’. The research, entitled in the press as ‘the three parent baby’, will use the DNA of one fertilised egg with faulty mito-
necessity for action to be taken against mitochondrial disease. “Mitochondria are the powerhouses of the cell. We have mitochondria in every tissue and I look after a group of patients who have diseases of them. These provide a variety of different symptoms; very severe defects in the mitochondria will undoubtedly cause you to die in the first few years of life. These are progressive and serious diseases, for which there is no other cure.” The technique has no unknown side effects as of yet, although babies will be born with the genetic make up of two different mothers, leaving the technique open to ethical debate. Researchers in
chondria, and implant it into a healthier egg cell of another woman. Mitochondria are the power stations existing outside a cell’s nucleus, providing energy to every other cell in the human body. Currently banned in the UK, scientists at the medical school will hear from Parliament next Wednesday whether the Human Fertilisation and Embryology Authority (HFEA) will grant permission to carry out the new IVF technique. Permission granted for the research to go ahead would mean a breakthrough in scientific innovation, as well as progress in preventing humans being born with incurable mitochondrial diseases, which may result in premature death. These conditions affect one in every 200 babies born. In an exclusive meeting with The Courier, Professor Turnbull explained the
America have already carried out the IVF treatment upon primates, with evidence showing the technique is viable to use on human egg cells. “We’re never going to know whether this technique has long term effects. We also need to check whether the technique is efficient. If it takes only one egg out of one hundred to work, that’s not going to be feasible.” “We need to know what is the public’s view on this. There are people like me who have looked at the patients and think this is a good idea. But there are people who think this is completely wrong.” “The people who have these kind of views are perhaps the people who don’t use IVF, and I totally acknowledge those views. The HFEA need to check whether this view belongs to a minority of continued on page 8
By Susie Beever and Jonny Farrar-Bell
“People make reproductive choices. It’s not for me to prejudge what those choices are. I just want to provide people with a choice.”
special pullout inside
Victory! Stan Calvert 8-page special inside
Car accident on Claremont Road By Georgie Moule A 50 year-old man has been arrested on suspicion of failing to stop after an accident after a 29 year-old woman was injured in a car accident on campus last week. The woman, believed to be a student, was hit by a car at the crossing on Claremont Road, under Claremont Bridge on Thursday afternoon and taken to the Royal Victoria Infirmary with serious
but not life-threatening injuries. A spokesperson for Northumbria Police said: “At 3.07pm Northumbria
Police and ambulance attended and the pedestrian was taken to hospital.” Enquiries are ongoing, and anybody
Police received a report of a collision involving a car and pedestrian in the city centre near the Hancock Museum.
with information is asked to contact police on 101, ext. 69191.
“The woman was hit by a car at the crossing on Claremond Road on Thursday afternoon and taken to the RVI”
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NEWS
SLEEP TIGHT
Union sleep-out raises awareness of homelessness
ZIP UP
Student ‘zipslide’ across the Tyne for St Oswald’s hospice
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Tuesday 12 March 2013
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News Editors: George Sandeman, Susie Beever and Anna Templeton Online News Editor: Aine Stott courier.news@ncl.ac.uk | @TheCourier_News
Dance society break into campus ‘flash mob’
COMMENT
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DRINKING DANGERS Health warnings on alcohol packaging?
BOOGIE
The Dance Society strut their stuff to raise money and awareness for sufferers of mesothelioma Image: Emily Keen
BANKERS BONUSES EU cap curbs 6-figure bankers’ salaries
SPORT
Newcastle Dance Society broke out the moves in front of the Union last Wednesday to raise awareness for The Mick Knighton Mesothelioma Research Fund. Organised by Media and Public Relations MA students, Rosie Libell, Osede Egbomeade, Jing Xie and Yue Kan, the flash mob broke out at 1.10pm to the sounds of Madonna - ‘4 Minutes’. Rosie is part of a group working for
the Mick Knighton Mesothelioma Research Fund, a project for her course. She said: “We wanted to do something fun to send an uplifting message”. In line with this the group are organising a comedy night at The Stand in June to raise money for the charity. The Mick Knighton Mesothelioma Research Fund aims to improve diagnosis, treatment and care for mesothelioma sufferers. The charity works under the umbrella of the British Lung Foundation and was established in memory of the founders’ late husband.
Passers by the Union on Wednesday couldn’t have failed to notice the dance society breaking out the moves in aid of the Fund. The flash mob was set off by dancer Emma Boyd who was quickly joined by eight other girls filling the courtyard with an impressive routine. Emma said: “I haven’t done a flash mob before but it was really fun, and good practice for the weekends’ show”. The dance society also took part in a flash mob during freshers week. Genna Stainforth, who organized the dance routine, explained that “flash mob
dancing requires a complete change in attitude, as its more far more casual than on stage.” She added that “the society was excited to be raising awareness for such a good cause.” Rosie Libell told The Courier that “the dance society was fantastic.” She also thanked the NSR team for organizing speakers for the event. Look out for more information about the comedy night in June, tickets will be £5. To buy one contact Rosie Libell on rosie.libell@ newcastle.ac.uk or buy it directly from The Stand.
“This pilot project shows how smart infrastructure created in North East England is transforming the way people access a whole range of services and opportunities, starting with public transport.” Professor Suzanne Cholerton, ProVice Chancellor for Learning and Teaching, said: “Newcastle University students already access buildings, libraries and Students’ Union facilities with a University-issued smart card. “Students will now be able to use the smartcard to pay for Metro travel and buy season tickets, enjoying all the benefits of the Metro Pop card, which works in a similar way to London’s Oyster Card.”
Smartcards with the NESTI ‘double smile’ logo are now being issued to all new students. Existing stu“Students will dents wanting to use their card be able to use the smartcard for Nexus travel exchange to pay for Metro may their smartcard travel and buy for the NESTI season tickets, c o m p a t i b l e enjoying all the smartcard. will benefits of the beStudents able to place Metro Pop card.” Student MetroSaver tickets on their University cards, which will be usable at Metro ticket machines.
From later this year students will be able to use cash credits on their cards to pay for public transport right across the North East, not just the Metro. Laura Perry, President of the Newcastle University Students’ Union, said: “As a student who uses the Metro, this is a great move. “It will make using public transport so much easier and convenient, without having to find the correct change or worry whether you have enough money when you’re trying to head home after a night out. “For that reason, this should help people feel safer and less vulnerable, and will probably encourage more students to use public transport.”
38 Smartcards soon to replace Metro tickets 39
EGG-STRAVAGANZA What’s going on over the Easter holidays
By Emily Keen
NETBALL RESULTS Lowdown of the Intra Mural netball final
By Anna Templeton News Editor
The smartcard held by all students at Newcastle University will soon be able to allow travel around the city on the Metro. The University has joined up with NESTI (the North East Smart Ticketing Initiative) to launch the scheme, which will eventually be put into place for up to 20,000 students. Harvey Emms, Director of Housing, Planning and Transport at Newcastle City Council and chair of the NESTI board, said: “This year will see us take some big steps towards making smart cards part of everyday life in our region.
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Editor Ben Travis Online Editor Ben Brown News Editors George Sandeman, Susie Beever and Anna Templeton Online News Editor Aine Stott Comment Editors Georgie Moule and Laura Wotton Online Comment Editor Jennifer Evans Features Editor Tom Nicholson Listings Editor Sally Priddle Lifestyle Editors Catherine Davison and Ellie Cropper Online Lifestyle Editors Rosie Devonshire and Colette Hunter Fashion Editors Elissa Hudson and Lizzie Hampson Online Fashion Editor Sally Greenwood Beauty Editor Amy Macauley Arts Editors Lisa Bernhardt and Millie Walton Online Arts Editor Grace Harvey Film Editors Hayley Hamilton and Sam Hopkins Online Film Editor Chris Binding TV Editor Chris Taylor Online TV Editor Ben Parkin Music Editors Chris Haywood and Sam Summers Online Music Editor Sophie Coletta Science Editor James Simpson Puzzle Editors Sally Priddle and Tom Nicholson Sports Editors Ralph Blackburn, Nick Gabriel and Lucy Williams Online Sports Editors Freddie Caldwell and Jack Gelsthorpe Copy Editors Rachel Horrocks, Charley Monteith, Leanne Penning, Chris Smith, Matty Aston, Sabine Kutcher
The Courier is printed by: Print and Digital Associates, Fernleigh House, 10 Uttoxeter Road, Derby, Derbyshire, United Kingdom, DE3 0DA. Established in 1948, The Courier is the fully independent student newspaper of the Students’ Union at Newcastle University. The Courier is published weekly during term time, and is free of charge. The design, text, photographs and graphics are copyright of The Courier and its individual contributors. No parts of this newspaper may be reproduced without the prior permission of the Editor. Any views expressed in this newspaper’s opinion pieces are those of the individual writing, and not of The Courier, the Students’ Union or Newcastle University.
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Tuesday 12 March 2013
Students give hands up to children in need By Louise Naylor Newcastle University’s SKIP (Students for Kids International Project) Charity are travelling to a remote village in Cambodia this summer to teach English and healthcare practices. SKIP Newcastle was created in 2009 to improve the lives of children in the tiny rural village of Chheu Teal, which has no electricity or running water, and can’t even be found on a map. All students going on the mission pay for their flights and living expenses, but need the help of Newcastle University students to fund basic supplies.
volunteer, about the selection process. Quereshi said that some teaching experience, a willingness to travel, a can-do attitude and happiness to rough it are what they are looking for, but enthusiasm is a key trait. She also stressed that the project has been newly opened to all disciplines to broaden the skill set of the team. The main aim of SKIP’s one month mission is to educate children desperate to learn by improving their job prospects outside of the village and towards the country’s booming English tourism trade. The results of SKIP are amazing, as Chheu Teal now has a higher level of English literacy, compared to larger
The main aim of SKIP’s one month mission is to educate children desperate to learn by improving their job prospects outside of the village. To help, you can join other SKIP members completing the Sunderland 10k run on Sunday 28th April, or donate to a SKIP member already doing it, by joining the Facebook page: Newcastle SKIP Cambodia 2012. Information on other events, including an Open Mic Night arranged for after Easter can be found by following their Twitter account. Next year, you could also be part of SKIP’s 30 Cambodian volunteers, with applications due in September and October for the 2014 intake. The Courier talked to Charlotte Quereshi, a past
towns and parents are being taught health lessons to make a long-term sustainable change. Quereshi said, “SKIP Cambodia is an amazing experience which affects all the students taking part. “It is truly incredible to go in on your first day and just have blank eager faces looking up at you, then leave with all the village singing songs with you. “Our president, Sam Mulroy, was so affected he is going there after graduation to expand the project into building work.”
SKIP FOR JOY SKIP’s main aim is to improve children’s employment prospects in Cambodia Image: SKIP
Civil Engineers in Easter fundraiser By Zhenhua Jin Civil engineers and geoscientists from Newcastle University will hand out Easter eggs in an effort to bring clean water and sanitation to Africa. The University’s Civil Engineering and Geoscience Society (CEGsoc) recently held a quiz night at the local Hyena Comedy Club in a fundraising effort. The winners received generous
amounts of Easter eggs. All proceeds from food sales went to WaterAid, an NGO that helps tackle the drinking water and sanitation crisis in Sub-Saharan Africa and other parts of the world. “The event was definitely a success,” said Laura Chatwin, President of CEGsoc, “there were many people from outside the society and we also raised lots of money”. Winners of the raffle, held alongside the quiz, received gift vouches for local eateries.
CEGsoc has been working with charities for several years. In 2012 they raised money for RedR for disaster relief and this year it is WaterAid. Laura believes working with charity gives students a more global awareness and allows them to see the wider applications of their study. “WaterAid can also help fund the research of students who work in related fields such as sanitation”, Laura added. According to the latest WHO figures
in 2010, 1 in 10 people in the world still do not have access to clean water and 2.5 billion people don’t have adequate sanitation. “Everyone has a right to these basic necessities of life”, said Barbara Frost, Chief Executive of WaterAid, “access to water, improved hygiene and sanitation are prerequisites to social and economic progress and are the first steps out of poverty”. Her organization seeks to bring about better living conditions
to people in Sub-Saharan Africa, Indian and other developing countries. They achieve this through helping local people create practical solutions to deliver clean water and remove waste safely. The Newcastle Civil Engineers and Geoscientists have more events in the pipeline. “We are hoping to hold another event and welcome all to come”, said Laura, “we want to raise more awareness of this amazing charity”.
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The Courier
Film depicts heart wrenching tale of lethal labouring By Alex Hanson Newcastle MEDSIN society and RESULTS (an organisation which campaigns against poverty) are hosting the premiere of a new human rights documentary, They Go To Die. The film investigates the lives of four former gold mineworkers in South Africa and Swaziland who contracted drug-resistant tuberculosis and HIV while working at a gold mine. When the miners fail to improve their TB status at the mining hospital, they are sent home to rural areas of Southern Africa often with no continuation of care or means for treatment. Leading health officials refer to this practice as being ‘sent home to die’. The film raises concerns of disease and human rights violations uniquely through the context of life, love, and family; unlike traditional health films, it focuses on relationships and bonding, not death and disease. Cramped hostels provided by the mining companies increase the risk of transmission among miners. Migration back and forth between home and mine reduces the likelihood of diagnosis and increases the chance of treatment interruption and failure. Health care for mine workers is often poor and TB screening by employers is inconsistent and unverified. A 2005 audit by Deloitte found that the Compensation Fund for miners who had contracted TB was insolvent,
and that over the 21-month period the audit was conducted, only 400 of the 28,000 (1.4%) claims submitted were paid out. The tour is being organised by MEDSIN, RESULTS, and Smith himself. Smith will be present at the showings, conducting question and answer sessions afterwards. The World Health Organisation has a suggested best practice for tackling TB in mining, based on a simple ‘three The film raises point plan’. To see these three basic concerns of steps of prevendisease and detection human rights tion, and treatment violations implemented in through the South African context of life, mines is the ulgoal of all love and family timate parties involved. The They Go to Die UK Film Tour begins in Edinburgh on the 7 March, ending in London on the 24 March. The film was shown at the Side Cinema in Newcastle, on Friday 8 March. Dates of later showings around the country can be found online, or, if interest is shown there is the possibility of a second screening at a later date at the Tyneside Cinema. If the idea of a second showing in Newcastle appeals to you, contact Rachael Winstanley, the Newcastle University Co-President for MEDSIN.
Slides for St James’ to ease traffic By Leanne Penning
Newcastle United hope of climbing up the Barclay’s Premier League, but their fans may find themselves in a fairly different scenario. From next year the Toon Army could be sliding home after games at St. James’ Park. NE1 Limited, the company behind the idea, is looking to construct 49ft and 21ft slides to give the 50000 strong supporters a swift and slippery exit. The ‘travel The ‘travel accelaccelerators’, erators’, as they’ll be known, could as they’ll be installed outknown, could be side the landmark be installed stadium to ease outside the congestion after landmark sta- matches, providquicker access dium to ease ing to the car parks congestion and Metro than after matches, the traditional providing quick- stairs. er access to the The company has insisted on the car parks. slides’ safety, having gained advice from both police and the Royal Society for the Prevention of Accidents. Once built, they will also be monitored by attendants during match-
es to ensure injuries remain exclusively on the pitch. As well as convenience, the planned addition to the ground’s structure is hoped to add an extra element of fun to the overall St James’ experience. Director of NE1 Ltd, Adrian Waddell, said: “The slides are intended to inject some fun into the city centre and take their inspiration from Utrecht in Holland where slides have been installed in a railway station. “One of the secrets of good urban design is to encourage people to focus on their surroundings, to take note and sometimes also to challenge the views of a particular area – the slides will certainly do that.” Architect Tom Robinson added: “We want people to see the space in a different way. We want people to ride the slide, then go up the stairs and do it again.” If planning permission is given, the slides could be accelerating fan’s exits by next year and NE1 Ltd are already looking to expand their idea across Newcastle. Future slides could be installed across the city, boosting the city’s famous night-life as well as its stadium. Visitors to the North East could therefore see an entirely different meaning to the phrase ‘falling out of Sinners’!
The Courier
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Tuesday 12 March 2013
Saturday sleep out highlights hidden homelessness By Jessica Moore Newcastle University students braved freezing temperatures on Saturday 2 March to raise funds and awareness for youth homelessness. Bedding down for the night outside Newcastle University Students’ Union, approximately 30 students tried to get some sleep, putting up with the cold conditions and lots of interest from drunken students streaming to and from CCTV, the popular student night held at the Union on Saturdays. The sleep-out lasted 12 hours, from 8pm to 8am on the Sunday morning, with all proceeds going to the Newcastle branch of the YMCA, the largest youth charity in the UK. At the time of writing, the total raised through sponsorship stands at £947.63. This event is part of a nationwide campaign run by the YMCA called Sleep Easy. It aims to highlight the hidden homeless, those who “sofa surf ”, sleeping on a different friend’s sofa every few days because they haven’t got a place of their own. This problem is known to affect students currently studying at Newcastle and Northumbria University. However it is chronically under-reported, as this group are not seen as a priority by council services due to having a temporary roof over their head. Although sleeping rough for a night was a challenge for all, participants were kept entertained through games of Twister and volleyball, a quiz and a
SLEEPYHEADS
Volunteers put up with the freezing conditions for 12 hours to raise awareness homelessness, an issue that affects Toon students Image: Jessica Moore
competition to see who could build the best cardboard shelter to survive the night. Everyone agreed however, that the most entertaining part of the night was the interaction between clubbers and the fundraisers in the small hours. Most were friendly and simply interested in the reasons behind the sleep out; the organisers had to turn down several offers of passers-by who were keen to join the cause at 3am without a coat. Stacey Smith, 22, one of the students who arranged the event said: “The sleep-out has been a great success, and we have been overwhelmed with how much money our fundraisers have made we would like to say a massive thank you to anyone who took part or who sponsored us for the night.” HOMED, a project of the Union society Medsin, was the group behind the organisation of the sleep-out. HOMED aims to engage students with issues related to the homeless community through education, fundraising and volunteering opportunities. Current volunteering projects include a drop in service on Saturday mornings at a local church, health clinics run through The Cyrenians and advertising the services offered by Crisis once a month. You can donate to the sleep out at:
https://mydonate.bt.com/fundraisers/homed
Muslim blood donors needed to save lives By Holly Callis There has been an appeal from the NHS in the North East for an increase in Muslim blood donors. The appeal comes as there is an overwhelming demand for blood from rarer blood groups which are often found more commonly within certain ethic groups. Furthermore, the NHS emphasise how patients receiving blood respond better to blood which was donated by someone from a similar ethnicity.
not aware of the importance of giving blood. Unfortunately, according to NHS figures, only 4% of the population make a regular blood donation so the problem is not isolated to those with rarer blood types. However only 3% of these regular donors belong to an ethnic group so encouraging people from a wide ethnic background is of paramount importance. The Islamic Diversity Centre organised a temporary donation centre in order to respond to this appeal and around 20 people took part: all of whom
According to NHS figures, only 4% of the population make a regular blood donation so the problem is not isolated to those with rarer blood types. In spite of this demand, there are still significantly few regular donors from a wide ethnic background. There is a significant demand for Muslim donations especially as donors may be concerned that blood donation violates Islamic teachings. Abu Tayeb, however, founder of the Islamic Diversity Centre in Newcastle said that this is not true: “The Koran teaches us; if you save one person it’s as if you’ve saved all of humanity, so this is a very, very important aspect of our religion.” The centre aims to address this common misconception by educating Muslims on the reality behind Islam and blood donation and how giving blood can be seen as an act of faith. Nevertheless, despite Muslim scholars endorsing the campaign, there is still some confusion amongst Muslims in the North East. Many Muslims and people from different ethnicities, however, are just
had never given blood before. Some members of the Islamic Society took part, commenting how “the Islamic Diversity Centre’s initiative last week was fantastic - they came and told us about it in the Discover Islam Week marquee, and several of our volunteers took part.” It was a huge step in removing misconceptions around giving blood in the North East’s Muslim communities. A spokesperson for the Islamic Society went on to say: “We strongly support this initiative, and feel that it is not only a positive thing but a religious duty. Next time there is a donation drive on campus the Islamic Society will raise awareness among Muslim students and encourage all of our members to participate.” The Courier encourages all students who are able to give blood - for more information and to find out the next donation event, visit www.blood.co.uk
BLOOD DIVERSITY
The University Islamic Society will be raising awareness next time there is a blood drive Image: Canadian Blood
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Tuesday 12 March 2013
The Courier
Donation not discrimination By Sabine Kucher Students on campus have launched a campaign to raise awareness of the banning of blood donations by actively gay men, to coincide with a blood drive at the Students’ Union last week. Blood drives had previously been banned from taking place in the Students’ Union, but that ban was revoked after the National Blood Service agreed to accept donations from gay men if they have been celibate for the previous 12 months. The motion lifting the ban also mandated the Welfare Officer and the LGBT Officer to positively campaign to encourage blood donations. Reflecting NUSU’s stance of non-discrimination the motion also called for all students to be allowed to donate blood regardless of their sexuality. Esta Innes, the Welfare Officer at NUSU, commented: “There is heated debate and the topic is clearly controversial. We campaign on the issue because students have asked us to encourage others to give blood, but also to raise awareness that some people cannot.” Charles Barry, who strongly opposed lifting the ban last year, said: “Blood donation is in essence a moral enterprise. Donation is an altruistic act, a gift to an unknown person who is in need. Why should gay men not be allowed to do that?” “The policy just means that gay men
who have been with their partner for a long time and practice safe sex cannot donate, but the heterosexual student that sleeps around and doesn’t use condoms can. It seems more sensible to have a practice-based selection rather than a discriminatory one based solely on a person’s sexuality.” Aidan Whitehead, co-President of the LGBT Society disagrees: “You can’t believe people. Patients lie to their doctors all the time.” He continues to say that
are good reasons for the Blood Service’s policy.” “However, parts of the policy are clearly unfair. Gay men in a long-term monogamous relationship that are both negative and have been tested numerous times should clearly be allowed to donate.” In an official statement released after the change in policy the National Blood Service stated that “the criteria are based on complex assessments of risk
there is debate within the LGBT Society on whether or not to lie to give blood, if the person really wants to and he is sure that he is negative. Esta Innes highlights the main frustration of the LGBT community with the policy: “We want people to give blood, but I can understand that the community feels disenfranchised and frustrated. Nobody should have to lie about who they are to be able to do something nice for others.” Whitehead, who is a medical student, emphasises that “there are well-proven statistics that show that gay men are a high-risk group. There are good reasons to ban groups if their participation would pose a public health risk. Gay men need to be educated that there
and must by their nature be based on evidence and statistics […] Such an approach results in assessments of certain groups as being at a higher risk than others of carrying blood-borne infections.” The National Blood Service stated that it is aware of the possibility of changing to a practice-based approach, but it fears that safety will suffer if a practice-based approach is introduced. The intrusive nature of the questions necessary for this approach may also cause a fall in donor numbers. One thing that everyone agrees on is that everyone eligible should go and give blood to help save lives. The next blood drive will take place on the March 11 at Castle Leazes.
“There is heated debate and the topic is clearly controversial. We campaign to encourage others to give blood.”
BLOOD BAN
Controversy centres around whether gay men in a long-term relationship should be allowed to donate blood Image: mattbuck4950
The Courier
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Tuesday 12 March 2013
St Oswalds Hospice looking to raise money with Tyne river zipline stunt By Emily Keen Fancy ziplining across the Tyne bridge this summer? For £35 you do just that. Registration is now open for adrenalin junkies and zipline monkeys. Taking place on 12 May, the event is to raise money for St Oswalds Hospice. Entry is £35 with a minimum of £100 sponsorship. St Oswalds is a local charity providing specialist care for adults, young people and children in the North East. “The hospice is They care for a special place patients with for many people cancer, as well as with end local in the area. those stage neurologiMany people cal, cardiac and know someone respiratory conwho has been ditions. The charity oftreated there” fers a day hospice, with a comprehensive inpatient unit, and an ongoing outreach service. Adults with life limiting conditions are referred to St Oswalds for pain and symptom management and end of life care. The hospice is an independent, selffinancing voluntary organisation. They rely on voluntary giving to raise
70% of all their own costs. The annual running cost of St Oswalds in £9.5 million, of which £6.5 million must be raised. The multi-disciplinary team at St Oswald’s includes doctors, nurses, physios, occupational therapists, social workers, chaplain support and complementary therapists. Fundraising events such as the zipline challenge are vital to the continued running of St Oswalds. Catherine McCallum a volunteer at St Oswalds, took part in an abseil from the 11 story-high Vermont hotel on the quayside for the hospice last year. She told The Courier that: “It was certainly an experience I won’t be forgetting anytime soon!” Catherine managed to raise roughly £200 and was surprised by how much could be raised just by asking friends and family. “The hospice is a special place for many people local in the area” says Catherine, “many people either know someone who has been treated there or of a family who have benefitted from its services” For more information and to register, contact Kate Gilbertson on 0191246 912. Or send an email to kategilbertson@ stoswaldsuk.org
BEARS RESEMBLANCE St Oswalds fund raisers will emulate a stunt similar to the one Toon folk were treated to during the Olympics when adventurer Bear Grylls ziplined off the Tyne Bridge with Olympic torch in hand Image: Paul Robertson
Enactus give judgement on rising stars By Joe Wood Around the world there are university Enactus societies, built up by students and business professionals who share a philanthropic view towards using business as a means of improving the standard of living for people and communities in need. Tom Hoggan, a long running member and Secretary of Newcastle Enactus society, spoke to The Courier about the society and his involvement in the recent Graduate Recruitment Awards. “We see Enactus as such a great opportunity. It looks amazing on your CV. It’s a community of student, Enactus’ Tom academic and business leadHoggan and ers committed Emma Nowak using the joined the judging to power of enpanel at The Tar- trepreneurial get Jobs’ Gradu- action to transate Recruitment form lives and shape a better Awards more sustainable world.” Due to Enactus’ business orientation, Target Jobs’ Graduate Recruitment Awards, hosted last year by David Walliams, aims to highlight entrepreneurial and innovative abilities. Tom had the opportunity to go down with fellow Newcastle Enactus member Emma Nowak to join the judging panel; he personally judged the Rising Star Award. “I got to interact with students from other universities to decide who we thought was the best individual. Now
we have contacts across the whole country, which can help our own society as can the contacts we made via mediators who mediated us during judging.” The event is hosted at the Guardian Headquarters in London, Canary Wharf. Enactus members are able to present their achievements to CEOs of top sponsoring companies including HSBC, KPMG and Acenture. The winning team then has the opportunity to attend the world cup, hosted last year in Washington DC and this year in Cancun in Mexico. “If you get to the final you are guaranteed a job. If you get to the world cup it just opens so many doors.” Enactus has a global scope to its work and membership, and thus its members have the opportunity to work with communities in the U.K. and abroad. “One of the projects we are involved in is in Rwanda, it’s called Dufatanye. It’s a farming co-operative made up of genocide victims; they are all, also, HIV and AIDS sufferers and the co-operative is there to promote forgiveness. “So we went over there, did workshops with them, taught them how to record keep which they then passed on to other people within the co-operative and now we’ve established which crops are good to grow, which are profitable and which aren’t. The team were also able to solve the community’s waste problem by integrating it with problems surrounding fertilisers, improving efficiency and saving money.” Despite its focus on business entrepreneurialism, Tom stressed that it is a society open to everyone and in fact benefits from membership of people from
every discipline. “A lot of teams down south focus on business, but the great thing with us in Newcastle is that it doesn’t matter what you do. We want people from every possible discipline. It’s great to have a variety of people because a room of business people is boring; you want people to be bouncing ideas off each other and we have a committee meeting every week and we always come up with new ideas about projects, cultural brands and so-
MEET THE TEAM Enactus society members seek to work with business professionals with a view to constructing innovative approaches to philanthropy Image: Enactus Newcastle
cieties.” In contrast with Enactus societies elsewhere in the country, Newcastle has a low membership. However, it has still achieved much success – reaching the semi-finals last year – and Tom believes with a higher membership Newcastle Enactus could flourish. “We have about 25 active members, but the main core of people who do stuff is probably about 10-15. If we did have more people we could achieve so much
more.” “This is literally the perfect time to join. We want to keep a continuous cycle of people coming through, because at the moment it’s a lot of third years thinking ‘Oh god I want to get something on my C.V. so I’ll join Enactus’ which is great but it’s not sustainable because they get really involved and think ‘oh this is awesome’ and then they have to leave.”
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Tuesday 12 March 2013
The Courier
Indulge your inquisitive minds on NSR By Alix Pickles Newcastle Student Radio presenter Joss Petrie has been quizzing the University’s academics on their specialist subjects. Joss’ show Inquisitive Minds aims to “let you know what’s going on in those dusty, book-filled rooms”. Speaking to The Courier, Joss joked: “How else are we going to know what is going on in the rooms right next-door to us on campus?” Many academics at the University have received Inquisitive acclaim Minds aims to critical for their pubget you up to lished books and date with their various works. Inquisitive research and aims to raises debates Minds get you up to date that you may with their renot have con- search and raises sidered before debates that you not have from lecturers may considered beat the top of fore. their field It gives lecturers at the top of their field the chance to have a good discussion about their interests in a more informal setting and gives them a new platform to capture the imagination of students. The show is a little different to any other NSR productions. Firstly, Joss chats with her guest about
their interests and background, then has a general chat about what they’ve said with another student and all interspersed with great music tracks. You don’t have to be a politics student to find it interesting and may even dis-
All guests are also asked: “Where will we be 100 years from now?” Whilst this gives something for everyone to ponder, Joss herself believes that a pill may be developed where you never have to sleep, probably fulfilling
Joss’ show aims to let you know what’s going on in those dusty, book-filled rooms. “How else are we going to know what is going on in the rooms right next-door to us?” cover a new favourite song along the way. So far, the academics to have graced the Inquisitive Minds microphone are Dr Valentina Feklyunina talking about Russia’s relationship to the Ukraine and what a Russia without Putin would be like. Dr Michael Barr has also appeared talking about another big superpower in China and its environmental problems. He even cracked a joke about air pollution, showing that a sense of humour is not lacking in the political field. If you like getting involved in what is going on in the world from the most controversial topics such as drone attacks, talked about with Dr Kyle Grayson, to the perhaps less well-know issues within society, such as Professor Janice McLaughlin’s research into growing up with cerebral palsy, the show makes for essential listening.
every busy student’s needs. Coming up next week, Chris Mullin, former Labour MP for Sunderland South and part time lectuer, talks through his experience while explaining how he felt perceptually humiliated as a junior minister. Tune in at 2pm every Tuesday if you feel like being “inquisitive” too, want to get to know your own lecturers better, or just want to see if anyone comes up with any apocalyptic theories when asked that 100 year question. Also, if you’ve missed the interviews so far you can check them out on SoundCloud.
LIGHTER SIDE Joss Petrie’s NSR show, Inquisitive Minds, invites members of the University’s faculty - such as Dr Kyle Grayson - on air to talk about themselves and their work
Want to hear the next academic behind the mic? Tune in to:
nsrlive.co.uk
“We need Parliament to agree this is something which is reasonable to do.” continued from page 1 people, or the majority of people.” “If this is going to come into practise, we need Parliament to agree that this is something which is reasonable to do.” The University’s medical school is currently the only centre in the country that holds a license to carry out research into genetic engineering. Professor Turnbull added: “People make reproductive choices. It’s not for me to prejudge what people’s reproductive choices are. What I’d like to be able to do is provide people with a choice. This would be completely unacceptable to some people, which is fine. It’s absolutely that patient’s decision, but research like this is about providing a choice in the first place.” The Courier spoke to Harry Hawkes, President of the Christian Union at Newcastle University: “It seems dangerous to be playing with nature in this way. To have three people involved in the genetic make-up of a human’s life is going against how God has created mankind - to have one biological father and mother only. This opens the door to as yet unknown consequences in which we see a disregard and seismic change in the way we value human life and care for those who are in need. This is not the view of the CU but me as a Christian student at Newcastle.” One further member of the University’s Christian Union is herself a ‘test-tube baby’. Jessica Helyar told The Courier: “IVF helps people to have children in the normal, natural way God intended.” Helyar added: “However, I think that this is a step too far and is, in my opin-
ion, playing God. But God has given us the intelligence to design treatments like this, so equally, who are we to stop that?” Fergus Walsh, medical correspondent at the BBC, described the research as having “fundamental significance to medicine and society.” “It has huge potential significance for society because for the first time children would be born with DNA “It seems dan- from three peogerous to be ple - what has playing with na- frequently been ‘three ture in this way. dubbed IVF’. CruTo have three parent cially that gepeople involved netic alteration in the genetic to what’s known make up of a as the germ line be perhuman’s life is would manent, handed going against down from genhow God has eration to generacreated man- tion” Many also argue kind.” there are other ethical issues to be considered regarding the University’s latest research, the key concerns being over the legal status over a woman who ‘donates her DNA,’ as well as the position of a human born with the genetical make up of three separate parties. What do you think of the new IVF research? Let us know at:
thecourieronline.co.uk
The Courier
nationalstudentnews.9
Tuesday 12 March 2013
Sexist heckling scorns Glasgow By Jack Burton Cambridge University’s Debating Union voted unanimously last week to boycott Glasgow Ancients debating competition when one of its members was left on the brink of tears. The person in question was subjected to a barrage of sexist heckling by male Glasgow University Union (GUU) students during her and her partner’s speeches in the final. The annual inter-varsity tournament brings together teams from institutions all over the UK to compete in a series of debates modelled on parliamentary proceedings, followed by a black tie dinner and traditional ceilidh social. But the event was marred when the
Job Title: Newcastle Work Experience (Summer) Social Media Officer Employer: County Durham Sport Closing date: 24.03.2013 Salary: £2400 bursary Basic job description: County Durham Sport are hosted by Durham County Council, being one of 49 County Sport Partnerships nationally, responsible for the strategic co-ordination of sport and physical activity at a County level, delivering the Changing the Physical Activity Landscape programme. The programme is re-branding from 1st April. We are seeking an experienced individual to take ownership of a specific project relating to the development and integration of the social media presence of the partner organisations that we fund to deliver aspects of the programme. The project will have a specific focus on developing more meaningful engagement with the existing CPAL social media follower base. Person requirements: It is essential you are familiar with all social media channels including Facebook, Twitter, YouTube and Wordpress. You should be able to communicate at all levels as part of a team with both internal and external colleagues. A customer service focused manner with the ability to empathise with members of the public is also required. Experience in monitoring and analysing qualitative and quantitative data and presenting findings assumed from the above is also required. Location: Durham. Job Title: Newcastle Work Experience (Summer) - Digital Marketing & Business Development Officer Employer: Engineered Solutions Closing date: 24.03.2013 Salary: £2400 bursary Basic job description: Engineered Solutions is a small family owned business providing products, consultancy and project management services in the field of movement, storage and materials handling. With over 40 years of experience and a reputation for engineering excellence, the company has invested time and effort in “moving online” during the last few years. Previous NWE placement projects have worked to enhance online presence through internet marketing activities. The forthcoming project will continue this work, with a focus on updating product profiles, linking between products for cross-selling and using the extensive customer and contacts database for both online and conventional marketing approaches. Person requirements: The placement is suited to an individual with experience and a keen interest in e-marketing and sales development. You must have the ability to work independently when required. The successful student must be self-motivated and professional, preparing reports, recommendations and performance trends that show the impact of their work. They must be forthcoming with ideas and improvements, and be able to communicate confidently with a range of potential stakeholders. Location: Northumberland. Job Title: Newcastle Work Experience (Summer) Architectural Assistant Employer: Gradon Architecture Closing date: 24.03.2013 Salary: £2400 bursary Basic job description: We are a practice of like-minded talented people who design and deliver excellent architecture based upon life experiences with care and efficiency. We have grown through a global economic downturn and offer a full range of Architectural and Project Management Services over a wide range of sectors in the UK and overseas. We are looking a placement student to join our team. You must be self motivated and qualified to RIBA Part 1 or Part 2 stage.
only female speakers in the final were heckled when attempting to talk about feminism during the final, on the motion ‘This House Regrets the Centralisation of ReSubjected to . cries of “shame ligion’ Marlena Valles, woman” and recognised as the best speaker in loud comScotland, and Rements about Meredith, their physical becca considered one attractiveness of the top 20 uniand chest size versity debaters in the world, were subjected to cries of “shame woman” and loud comments about their physical attractiveness, chest size and dress sense from male observers in the gallery
Person requirements: Expected IT skills to include use of AutoCAD, Sketch Up, Photoshop and possible Revit. The ability to converse with and meet new people is essential. Location: Gateshead. Job Title: Newcastle Work Experience (Summer) Rebranding Officer Employer: Datatron Document Image Archiving Ltd Closing date: 24.03.2013 Salary: £2400 bursary Basic job description: Datatron is a Records Management service provider aimed to help save money and decrease wasted time. Datatron reduce the need for physical storage space, increase operational efficiency with lower ongoing costs, eliminate the cost of document storage and provide a central point of capture for all documents. Datatron has used the same branding since it formed in 1996 and is now seeking a fresh, new look. We have recently tried to use different branding however there is no consistency. We require assistance to create a theme to use across all company literature, web, email etc. Person requirements: You should be open minded to providing an exciting rebranding for the company. Previous experience in marketing is essential. You should be creative with excellent attention to detail. Location: North Shields. Job Title: Newcastle Work Experience (Summer) Communications and Events Assistant Employer: Nova International Closing date: 24.03.2013 Salary: £2400 bursary Basic job description: Nova specialise in the development, design and organisation of some of the largest mass participation, televised sporting events across the country. We are looking to recruit a student to assist our Communications department during a busy summer season. The successful candidate will be responsible for assisting with delivering our PR and Communications plan for the Great Edinburgh Run and Great Birmingham Run as well as providing PR support for the Great North Run. Duties will include; Researching similar event opportunities for cross promotion; Coordinating promotional opportunities with event representatives; Researching opportunities for physical promotion (flyer and poster distribution); Researching relevant human interest stories and placing in local publications; Keeping track of and collating coverage information to present to the team. Person requirements: This placement would ideally suit a Marketing/PR student with a strong interest in sporting and events. You will be a highly creative individual with good attention to detail and a professional attitude to work. A strong team player, you will be required to travel occasionally to locations across the UK to assist with local PR. Location: Newcastle upon Tyne. Job Title: Call Operators Employer: Manpower Closing date: None given Salary: £7.00 - £8.00 per hour Basic job description: This is a temporary opportunity with the possibility of becoming an open-ended contract. We are looking for Call Handlers to take emergency and non emergency calls. This is a 24/7 operation, 365 days a year, so full flexibility on all public holidays is required. Training is FULL TIME for 4 weeks 9-5pm, the hours of work following this training will be mainly on a weekend, working 16 hours per week. You will be responding to a high volume of calls from members of the public (often in a distressed state), Healthcare staff and GP Out of Hours. Person requirements: You must possess 5 GCSE’s at grade A-C or equivalent. You must be confident and
during their speeches. One female judge, Kitty ParkerBrooks, was called a “frigid bitch” when she tried to silence the hecklers, who were allowed to stay in the chamber despite complaints to the organisers by other observers. Upon raising the issue with the organisers afterwards, speakers were told to “leave it alone”, that “it is just how they are”, and to “please … not say anything”. Cambridge University’s Debating Union voted unanimously on Monday to rescind their reciprocal membership with GUU, and Valles wrote that “until this is genuinely dealt with, as the director of training for the Edinburgh University Debates Union, I would be incredibly wary of sending female first years [...] next year.”
assertive and have the ability to make decisions and respond quickly. Location: Newcastle upon Tyne. Job Title: Mathematics/Science Note Taker Employer: Clear Links Support Ltd. Closing date: 28.03.2013 Salary: £10.82 per hour + £1.31 holiday pay per hour Basic job description: Clear Links Support is a specialist provider of academic support to students in higher education. Reliable, degree-level Note Takers are required to produce an accurate and legible handwritten record of the content of lectures, seminars etc which are then handed over to the Client. The work is during term-time only, temporary and casual in nature. A range of hours may be available. Working in this role will require an enhanced CRB disclosure, the cost of which will be met by Clear Links Support. Person requirements: Applicants must have completed at least 1 year of higher education study, or be able to demonstrate an equivalent level of experience, and have clear and legible handwriting as well as accurate spelling and grammar skills. A degree discipline in Mathematics or Science is essential. Location: Newcastle upon Tyne. Job Title: Part-time Support Worker Employer: Dimensions Closing date: 11.03.2013 Salary: £6.67 per hour Basic job description: Part-time Support Workers are required to work in Newcastle. You will support a couple in their own home and within the community in Newcastle. Your role and duties will involve: Supporting the couple to maintain their home, providing support with health and nutrition, providing support with meal planning/shopping, assisting them to be active members within the community i.e. attending college, activities, accurate record keeping i.e. completing standardised paperwork. In addition, you will be fit and well to complete all aspects of moving and handling including pushing wheelchairs. Person requirements: We’re looking for someone who: Has a person-centred attitude, has a real commitment to helping people with learning disabilities, is able to work on your own initiative as well as part of a team, has good communication skills, has a strong working attitude, is reliable and flexible, has basic numeracy and literacy skills, is able to commit to a range of shift patterns, including sleep over’s, and is able to complete support plans and risk assessments, has basic IT skills. Experience is not essential as full training will be provided, but you must have a commitment to making a difference to people with learning disabilities. Location: Newcastle upon Tyne. Job Title: Part-time Extras Employer: Uni-versalExtras Ltd. Closing date: None given. Salary: £75.00 per day Basic job description: Uni-versalEXTRAS is a student agency supplying Extras for major Film and TV productions. We have a new BBC TV Production filming in Middlesbrough and Durham, and are looking for students who would be interested in taking part as Extras. Uni-versalEXTRAS was set up by a student, for students. Extras work offers students the opportunity to gain experience working in well paid part-time roles that can compliment and fit around their academic studies. Person requirements: You do not need to have any previous experience to work as an Extra, but you must be well organised and reliable with good communication skills. You must legally be allowed to work in the UK. Location: Middlesbrough and Durham.
Student Union bans scapegoat in Take Me Out money scam contestant Leeds University
Leicester University
A Saudi Arabian student currently studying at Leeds University has fallen victim to a nationwide money laundering scam. Whilst searching for a job, the student signed up to a Leeds-based agency offering a job-finding service. He was then contacted by the agency with a potential job. The ‘job’ offer was subject to the completion of a training course. The company then transferred £1,200 into his account, and asked him to pay the sum into another account for the course. This aroused the student’s suspicions as the agency had made no attempt to check his identification. At once he informed the police, and their advice was to return the money immediately. The University’s police officer PC Matt Guy said: “Our assumption was that it was a money laundering scheme whereby criminals use innocent student’s accounts to clean their dirty money.”
A contestant who took part in Leicester University’s version of the popular game show Take Me Out has been suspended from entering the Students’ Union, whilst an investigation into his behaviour is carried out. Upon his entrance to the stage, the male contestant (dressed in a mankini) immediately began his inappropriate behaviour. He spanked one female contestant, and then proceeded to grab and hump any of the other females who turned their lights off to indicate they did not wish to date him. Audience members said that they were “shocked” and “astonished” by his behaviour, with many people leaving before the show had finished. Despite this, the contestant still managed to secure a date, but by the time he had returned from the free Nandos provided, the Students’ Union had already acted to ban him from the premises. The investigation could possibly lead to permanent exclusion from the venue.
Bristol ‘con- Lancaster demned’ for music degree animal rights scrapped Bristol University
University of Lancaster
The animal rights group, Animal Aid, have condemned Bristol University after an investigation into the use of genetically modified mice in experiments based in the School of Medicine’s Physiology and Pharmacology Department. According to the organisation, the procedures carried out by researchers at the University, involve crushing nerves in the back legs of mice, and injecting chilli pepper into their cheeks. These tests are thought to cause the animals a great deal of pain. Animal Aid also claim that this research still fails to show any medical benefit, even though it has been the recipient of public funding for the past 15 years.
The Faculty of Arts and Social Sciences’ Management Committee has taken the decision to end the study of music at Lancaster University. The increasing pressure to scrap the music course came to a head when only 12 students were admitted onto the course for the 2012 academic year. This number was less than half of the previous year, which still only amounted to 26 students. The decision to stop any applications to study music was taken last November, when an email was sent to applicants to notify them that applications could no longer be accepted.
Images: 401(K) 2013 and lambdachialpha (Flickr)
Grace Stephenson
10.comment 3 reasons why...
Tuesday 12 March 2013
“Some modules require a lot of reading. Reading week provides you with the opportunity to catch up or even get ahead.” Liam Devereux, 2nd Year Politics
...Students’ Union elections do matter after all...
“It gives you a chance to catch up on any work or reading that you have missed. This is good for me because I have a job.” Daniel Phelps, 2nd Year, Philosophy
1) The Elections are all about participation Critics may say that the 20% turnout in last week’s elections shows a lack of interest, but the fact remains that if there was no participation, there would be no elections at all. This may seem obvious but it is easy to forget that student elections exist because there are positions of responsibility that are occupied by individuals who are chosen by students who took the time to vote and have their say in how their Union is run.
“It is good to have some time off to catch up on reading. But I think I would prefer it if there were an extra week of lectures.” Stephanie Abram, 1st Year, Combined Honours
“I have a different reading week for different modules and never get a full week off. I think the reading week should be standardized across all schools.” Nathan Hart, 2nd Year Rural
“I think it would be more beneficial in 1st and 2nd year. Now I want as many lectures as possible.” Arran Atkinson, 3rd Year Biology
COMMENT ON CAMPUS
The Courier
“They are useful in the recuperative sense, but not in the academic sense.” Benn Hamman, 2nd Year, Marine Zoology
“I only get a reading week for some of my modules, which is annoying. If I actually got a week off that would be great!” Rebecca Lightfoot, 3rd Year, Combined Honours
This week, Christopher Middleton went out on Campus to ask:
Is reading week useful?
“I would like one, but I don’t really think we would have time for one in Chemistry.” Sophie Corner, 2nd Year, Chemistry
2) Officers really are committed to help There are likely many students who did not appreciate being handed fliers at every turn for a week but the reason for this is that there are people who are giving up their time to maximise students’ university experience. Why else would people campaign for and stand for positions dedicated to Gender Equality and Students With Disabilities? Surely it matters who students elect to take on such responsibilities?
3) The Union matters Although it may sometimes seem hard to see the point in the Students’ Union, without it Newcastle University would be very different. Not only would the welcome to university in Freshers’ Week be radically different but a major centre piece of the campus would go and the main link between the running of the University and students themselves would be crippled. Therefore it must matter who is elected.
Douglas Forster
“It would be good if there were one less week of Christmas holidays to make up for it. But I think reading week makes people lazy.” Jocelyn Hickey, 2nd Year, Politics
“Reading week is really great. It’s nice to have some time off to spend in the library doing work.” Ruairidh Carpenter, 3rd Year, Marine Zoology
“It wasn’t particularly useful this year, however I think it will be more beneficial in 2nd and 3rd year.” Alex Smith, 1st Year, Combined Honours
“Personally, I treat it as a holiday rather than a learning opportunity, but as an English student, ironically we don’t get a reading week. Jokes.” Ellie Cropper, 3rd Year English Lit. and Lang.
Sexual harassment definition must change Is the way the University defines sexual harassment too vague? This week, Jake Unsworth argues that the definition used is not fit for purpose JAKE UNSWORTH
I
n order to not tolerate something absolutely, the transgression in question must be 100% definable; there should be no grey areas. When it comes to ‘sexual harassment’, the indefinite nature of the term means that every accusation is shrouded in subjectivity. The working definition as employed by Newcastle University, defines sexual harassment as ‘unwanted conduct of a sexual nature’. (Page 2 of the Dignity at Work and Study Code of Practice). This definition cites the Equality Act of 2010 for the wording of the definition, as do most other Students’ Unions, vast swathes of the NHS, most of Local and National Government and an increasing number of private businesses. In addition to that definition, this University has decided that there should be a ‘zero tolerance approach’ toward sexual harassment. This too, is familiar across most university student unions. I’m not 100% clear what this approach entails, but the necessary condition of this ‘zero tolerance’, is that the Univer-
sity would pursue any means which would eradicate sexual harassment altogether. Yet how, I would ask, can you eradicate ‘unwanted conduct’? Emily Waller, the NUSU Gender Equality Officer told me that it would be possible to eradicate sexual harassment by ‘ensuring sexual relationships and sexual approaches are consensual’. Yet the process of securing consent could, in the definition employed by the university, be construed as sexual harassment. (The university rightly understands that ‘isolated incidents’ can still constitute ‘sexual harassment’, the problem lies entirely with the definition of ‘sexual harassment’ - Page 3 of the Dignity at Work and Study Code of Practice). The vagueness of ‘unwanted conduct of a sexual nature’, has allowed for the activities of a fully-fledged sexual predator to be equated with the legitimate approach of a would-be suitor, albeit one who is deemed inadequate (or unwanted) in the eyes of the beholder. To be clear, using this definition, every single sexual advance, be it toward a spouse or an unknown individual in a club, could be deemed ‘sexual harassment’. If this genuinely were the definition of harassment, the only way to significantly reduce incidents (the realisation of a zero tolerance approach) would be the complete segregation of men and women,
yet even this would not prevent samesex sexual harassment. This working definition is also unenforceable; it privileges the perceptions of the object of the sexual advance over the intentions of the potential harasser. By doing so it potentially demonises every person seeking a relationship with another. Every single time a person approaches another it could potentially be ‘unwanted’, how can this possibly be a useful definition? In reality the judgement of sexual harassment has to be based solely on the behaviour of the harasser, analysed in an objective manner. It is not up to the object to decide. Law and codes of practice must be objective, rather than subjective, in order to avoid grey areas and be enforced with zero tolerance. This abject failure to properly define sexual harassment means that genuine sexual harassment is not seen as the terrible crime that it is. Those individuals, who bully others, using sexuality as a weapon, deserve to be dragged round the streets of Newcastle behind a horse and cart. The plucky lad or lass, who misreads a couple of signals and goes in for a kiss, does not. We need a definition that reflects this difference, and respects the moral autonomy that individuals require in order to form relationships.
Response: ESTA INNES WELFARE OFFICER First: the Union, not University, has our policy. Jake could have written a more informed article had he looked at our definition of sexual harassment, which makes clear that it can be much more than “leaning in for a kiss”. What I find most worrying is Jake’s view that “it is not up to the object to decide” whether or not they are being harassed. It is opinions like this that I feel perpetuate a victimblaming culture and force victims to accept sexual harassment as normalised and standard. Every student in our Students’ Union has the right to feel safe and respected. If they feel this has been violated in any way we will treat this with the upmost seriousness, regardless of if perpetrator thought their actions were just a bit of fun. If they upset another student and they were not welcomed or given consent, that is sexual harassment.
The Courier
.11
Tuesday 12 March 2013
Comment
Comment Editors: Georgina Moule and Laura Wotton Online Comment Editor: Jennifer Evans thecourieronline.co.uk/comment courier.comment@ncl.ac.uk | @Courier_Comment
CHEERS!
Will bottles be branded with graphic health warnings like cigarette packets? Image: Jacob Munk-Stander (Wikimedia)
Should health warnings be introduced on alcohol packaging? JAMES BRODIE
YES W
hen pondering the question ‘should health warnings be introduced on alcohol packaging’, it may have taken you a moment or two to realise that warning labels already exist in a somewhat muted sense on a standard bottle or can of alcoholic drink in the UK. I am, of course, referring to the Drink Aware sponsored information usually printed near the bar code, displaying the amount of units in said alcoholic drink. This is usually accompanied by a message telling you to “drink responsibly.” Put simply, such a small and largely ignored message is clearly not enough to have an influence on the drinking behaviour of most Britons, and as a result, we usually rank amongst the worst binge drinking nations in Europe. Enjoying an alcoholic drink is generally seen as an acceptable, and often social occurrence. And to suggest that drinking any alcohol at all is irresponsible would be met by a backlash of people who disagree. But the lack of information about alcohol printed on packaging, combined with the new trend of manufacturers selling drinks blatantly made with the ‘high volumelow price’ philosophy, has made it all too easy to throw responsibly out the window. If Drink Aware want to push responsi-
bility as a key part of drinking culture, then it would seem that they know that most people understand the health implications of binge drinking. After all, the term ‘responsible drinking’ has connotations of self-control rather than the health problems alcohol can cause, which are already known to most people. As a result, the warning labels I would propose for alcohol packaging would be the kind of warning label which would resonate with the kind of person who likes to act on impulse, or drink far too much and act like a tit.
“The high volume, low price philosophy has made it all too easy to ditch responsibility”
“Alcohol will make you impregnate a stranger” would be a good one. As would “excessive drinking leads to fights.” All joking aside, Drink Aware has used stuff like this before, just not on bottles of booze. Television adverts featuring people out of control have been a main part of their campaign for a number of years now, so why not incorporate something similar on the packaging of cheap and strong alcoholic drinks? It would make sense considering that most people tend to ‘pre-lash’ on this specific type of alcoholic drink before even going out. From looking into the debate regard-
ing warning labels on alcoholic drinks, I have come to a conclusion. The status quo in regards to warning labels on alcoholic drinks is rather meagre. In comparison to tobacco products, any sort of health sponsored message is almost completely non-existent . The Office for National Statistics reports that there were 8,748 alcohol related deaths in the UK during 2011. A great shame considering how avoidable these deaths could have been if alcohol was enjoyed responsibly and there was greater assistance for alcoholics. Cigarette packets tend to run with a quit helpline in large letters, placed on one of the large labels on the packet. If drinks packaging were to do the same instead of hiding it near the barcode, we might actually get somewhere.
HEW ROUSEYRE
NO T
he Alcohol Health Alliance, a collection of 70 medical health bodies and charities, is demanding that all alcohol products, cans and bottles alike, should reserve up to a third of their labelling to warnings and health advice, similar in style to those on cigarette packs. As the graphic health warnings are part of a greater scheme including tax increases and anti-smoking campaigns, it’s hard to pin down the effectiveness of
the warnings alone. Since pictures of dead babies and goatee clad neck-tumours became a regular feature of coffee tables and newsagents, along with aimless accusations about how smokers are slowly killing themselves and others around them, I’ve found myself being slowly desensitised by the apparently gruesome risks of smoking. Like cheap horror films, one simply takes the blood and gore far less seriously and suddenly it’s not so scary.
“Like cheap horror films, one simply takes the blood and gore far less seriously”
Furthermore, I’ve always thought that apathy and ambivalence were the usual reaction to the possible threat of cancer; the classic line “It won’t happen to me...” springs to mind. However, give someone odds of about 1 in 76 million as to the chances of winning the lottery and they’ll still queue up in line to buy a ticket, convincing themselves that since “somebody has to win” maybe that somebody will be them. People respond much more actively to positive possible outcomes, even if they are slim. Why not then give advice on the benefits of not smoking and drinking in excess, as oppose to the grave and sanctimonious warnings we have at the moment. How much money you could save a week/month/year, the benefits
for your body, the convenience of not having to pop outside half way through everything. Either way, don’t people have the right to legally purchase what they want without being psychologically judged and manipulated? I know it costs the NHS millions every year to care for people with avoidable, smoking and drinking related illnesses, but it’s likewise for problems like obesity, yet there are no graphic warnings of inflated marshmallow-men being crane lifted out of their bungalows found on boxes of Big Macs or Dominoes. What should be taken into account with alcoholic products is that in many cases they are far more than solely a method to getting drunk. A bottle of fine wine for example is more than just liquid; it’s the glass, the cork and the label as well. One glass of wine a night is actually encouraged. Why should the image of products that encourage responsible and adult appreciation suffer because they share an ingredient with bottles of WKD? Moreover, why should the responsible adults in question be constantly reminded by patronising warnings of the dangers of excessive drinking? It’s a question of the freedom to choose. Yes, people should be made aware of the dangers of smoking and drinking in excess (and the positives of not doing so), but not on the product they’ve already chosen to buy. Consumers should be treated with respect, not like uncontrollable addicts that can’t look after themselves. In an age where individuality and independence are relentlessly and obnoxiously celebrated, it’s strange that the choice to smoke and drink is so actively condemned.
12.comment
Tuesday 12 March 2013
US Senator speaks for 12 hours to block Obama’s CIA nomination
Hugo Chavez dies The controversial President of Venezuela, Hugo Chavez, has died of cancer aged 58. The Socialist leader who came to power in a military coup in 1999 courted controversy, notably likening George W Bush to ‘the Devil’ in a speech at the United Nations. A divisive figure, Chavez fuelled huge benefits for the poor on the back of the nation’s oil wealth, but angered many others, with a coup in 2002 temporarily forcing him from office. Socialist allies Assad, Ahmadinejad and Ken Livingston have all expressed their sadness at Chavez’s death, with the Iranian leader strikingly predicting that: “I have no doubt that he (Chavez) will return, along with the righteous Jesus and the perfect human”.
Golden cast of Messi’s foot for sale A cast of the FC Barcelona footballer Lionel Messi has gone on sale for £3.4 million. Messi, 25, who has already scored over 300 goals for Barcelona in his short career including 50 so far this season, had his foot cast in Spain at the end of last year by the Japanese jeweller Ginza Takana. The idea was to “commemorate the football player’s achievements”. Lionel Messi’s brother, Rodrigo, was present at a ceremony unveiling the golden foot in Tokyo and said: “You can see each line on the foot; it’s an impressive piece of work”. The foot, which stands 10 inches tall and weighs 25kg, is now on sale.
The Courier
WORLD AT A GLANCE
Republican Senator Rand Paul used the filibuster technique to try and prevent President’s Barack Obama’s nomination, John Brennan, to lead the CIA. Starting just before noon on Wednesday 6 March, Paul finished speaking at just after 12.04am local time, completing a full 12 hours. Paul and others are worried that the President’s nominee will not ensure that aircraft in the United States are prevented from killing terrorism suspects who are US citizens. The filibuster (long speech) was therefore aimed to delay the controversial appointment and give others time to reconsider their vote.
Johnny Farrar-Bell
Vietnam bans short, fat traffic Police Vietnamese authorities in Hanoi have made the decision to remove traffic police who are short, obese or abusive from the streets. Hanoi traffic police chief Col Dao Vinh Tang stated that: ‘Little officers or those with too big a belly will be moved to work in offices so they do not come into contact with the public.’ The move comes on the back of soaring global obesity rates, with other countries such as UK, Mexico and South Africa all introducing measures to help police officers lose weight. Vietnam traffic police also have a reputation for corruption and have already been banned from wearing sunglasses or hiding behind trees to ambush unwary motorists and extract fines.
Image: NASA (Wikimedia)
What a boob
After various Students’ Unions have banned sales of The Sun, Sally Priddle discusses if this is within their remit and why students have a right to choice SALLY PRIDDLE
I
t is a running a joke, a job for some and an offence to others. Some would even argue that it has been around so long it’s become a British tradition. But despite Page 3 being a part of our lives since 1970, some Universities are taking a stand against the sale of The Sun in their University shops. The University of York started a Facebook campaign against the sale of the paper under the title of ‘York Uni SU: stop profiting from offensive publications’. Students said they took this stand after The Sun published a front page following the death of model Reeva Steenkamp, which featured pictures of the woman in a bikini. Students felt that the paper was inappropriate and was allowed to continue to feature inappropriate and sexist content when other papers would not be permitted to stoop to this level. Other Universities have now followed suit with the paper no longer being sold in Union shops across the country, including the University of Sheffield, where students have started a campaign to get Page 3 removed from the publication. Despite large amounts of support for this campaign both across the country and on campuses it has not been received by everyone with open arms; numerous people have argued that it is not the job of the Students’ Union and its union officers to be deciding what publications are sold in their unions.
I understand that to some people Page 3 is offensive, an objectification of women that is outdated and enforces negative images that men can have of women. However, these people are not the target the audience of The Sun. I believe that it is wrong for women to be objectified, but these women are aware of their jobs, the purpose of their photos and it is their means to make a living. If they are personally comfortable and happy to do this then I don’t see why I have the right to say it is wrong just because I wouldn’t do it myself. I don’t read The Sun because the content doesn’t appeal to me - like-minded people can object to the content by not purchasing the newspaper. I am not trying to find the easy way out of this situation, but just because I don’t want to buy something doesn’t mean I have a right to judge those who do and I (or anyone else) should not be allowed to impose my opinions to the extent that something I objected to for personal reasons was banned. I do not agree that a paper that also promotes the ‘family’ way of life and markets itself as a ‘family’ paper should contain pictures that are inappropriate for young readers, but then again how many children go to the shop and buy a newspaper? If this is the fear, it should be placed somewhere out of reach and with other explicit publications, but when discussing its place in a Students’ Union the argument against children is not hugely relevant. Going to University is about choosing your way in life and expanding your experiences and opinions. You should have the choice to read or not read The Sun. Students’ Union should offer support to those who find it offensive to see women objectified in this way but that does not mean that others should not be allowed the adult right of choice.
The Courier
comment.13
Tuesday 12 March 2013
EU cap to curb bankers’ bonuses As a provincial EU agreement is reached to cap bankers’ bonuses, Jack Burton discusses excessive risk-taking and the UK’s financial future
BANKING BONANZA
The banking sector produced a great deal of critical debate supplementing already large employee salaries with hefty bonuses. Image: Mewiki (Wikimedia)
JACK BURTON
T
he banking sector is in the line of fire again over the large bonuses handed out to employees after the big banks, including stateowned RBS, posted dismal year-end financial statements. At the same time, the Chancellor left the UK isolated in Europe when he was the only dissenting voice as the other 26 EU member states voted to cap bonuses in the sector to twice a year’s salary. The principle of bonuses is pretty clear: a one-off payment for exemplary performance at your job designed to incentivise workers to strive and achieve. One struggles to see any trace of that basic principle when traders racking up billions of pounds’ worth of losses still get to trouser millions in ‘discretionary’ bonuses. So expected is this annual bonanza that bankers rankle at the merest mention that abject failure should not merit annual feeds at the bonus trough, fearing they might have to rely on their ‘measly’ 6-7 figure salaries. Nowhere else is displayed such a monumental lack of awareness. The argument that such arrangements
are good for the banks themselves seems rather specious. The banking crash destroyed many long established firms and forced others into the arms of the taxpayer, tanking the economy and the investments banks need to function. This was the direct result of bankers betting with money they didn’t have on unsafe investments that many didn’t even personally understand.
betting big on long-shot trades that will make them look like visionary geniuses and power them up the corporate ladder should they get lucky and chase the river home.
“Something must be done “The argument to encourage responsible that such arrangements lending to are good for avert future the banks crashes” seems rather specious.”
Bonus culture warps outcomes in several ways. Traders play with other people’s money, and so are insulated from the outcomes of their actions in a way that independent traders never are. Knowing that they will get a hefty bonus no matter what traders make highly risky bets with clients’ money,
With so many players, simple statistics means some will get lucky, with pension funds and middle class ISAs paying the price for their personal ambition. The nadir of this system was reached in 2010, when Goldman Sachs was revealed to have been (entirely legally) systemically defrauding its investors by encouraging them to invest in deals it knew were bad, then taking out insurance on the failure of those deals. The system pits employees against clients at every turn, and the only sure bet is that
the clients will lose. Despite mass public and political opprobrium, and modest moves by the EU to part-defer bonuses the sector has failed to engage in any sort of introspection. Something must be done to encourage responsible lending to avert future crashes, but as the industry cannot manage to police itself government oversight is needed. Bankers should remember that the financial instruments they use to get rich only exist as a result of the systems and legal institutions that the government (and by extension society) provide. Those at RBS should be grateful for government intervention in 2008 that saved their jobs. Critics claim that mobile modern investors will simply go offshore. This is where the EU steps in - in Sweden in the 1980s a financial transaction tax was abandoned after bankers simply relocated to neighbouring Denmark. Upping sticks between culturally similar nations is much easier than shifting across continents, to countries with worse educational systems and poor records on human rights; even Switzerland voted recently to cap bankers’ bonuses, leaving nowhere to hide in Europe. The EU cap is a necessary response to an out of control sector that until now has refused to acknowledge its obligations to the rest of us, with disastrous results.
LAURA WOTTON
WOTTON EARTH? #1- Keep Calm and Carry on Tolerating As ironic as it seems, there is nothing remotely calming about a notorious Keep Calm and Carry On slogan beaming at me from some collectors mug, conspicuous poster or, worse still, the kitchen apron. Just walk into any souvenir shop, or indeed any shop at all, and you’re at once inundated with an unbelievable volume of commands disguised in bubblegum pink and adorned with crowns bleakly selling that flight bag or mouse mat for double its initial price. Yet why so cynical? The slogan is after all a piece of good news in the midst of a tough economic climate, bankers bonuses and Bieber’s breathing problems, a saying intended to sooth a troubled British people. However I have a suspicious feeling that keeping calm and eating a cupcake will do little for our nation’s limited esteem, whilst simultaneously helping to insure the steady progress of good old Britain’s expanding waistline. I am almost certain that half the slogan’s ‘consumers’ sipping meekly from their Keep Calm mugs have little clue of the saying’s origins. It was an anonymous civil servant, delegated the duty of inspiring comfort, who coined the expression back in the spring of 1939. It was, in these pre-stages of WWII, intended to reassure a troubled public simply praying the massed Nazi armies wouldn’t cross the Channel. As one of the few manifestations of these wartime propaganda campaigns, is it too much to ask for a certain amount of cultural preservation to be put in force? It’s proof of a somewhat warped world when, back in late 2011, the major critical debate stemmed from a trademark row over the ‘Keep Calm’ slogan. The one time TV presenter Mark Coop, who snatched the EU trademark for the saying, is perhaps another example of a consumerist enterprise gone wrong. ‘Carrying on’ blindly, Coop told small shop owner Stuart Manley to ‘bugger off ’ and successfully managed to trivialise and, of course, commercialise a rather more touching WWII moralemaintainer. The wartime slogan never imagined it would be gripped by our 21st century society and warped into a patronizing sales booster. Parody after parody is squeezed out of the saying - Britain has become genuinely saturated with this drivel to the extent that it’s more common now to see a ‘Run out of Ideas and make a Parody’ clad ‘campaigner’ walking past than anything remotely related to the original. What’s more, last Saturday saw the arrival of a grotesque subversion of the supposed fun of these parodies when Amazon was found to be selling T-shirts branded with ‘Keep calm and rape a lot’ and other equally crude variations. One naively would have thought that if such a global retailer was already firmly in the lime-light for a tax avoidance, they wouldn’t spin out a profit by promoting domestic violence. This is again a heinous trivialising; a normalisation of a terrible reality and represents larger issues of companies too vast for sales censorship. Amazon, and indeed the manufacturer Solid Gold Bomb’s, excuse that this listing was an automatically generated error seems oh too coincidental. The global blowup of a smallscale propaganda poster has been far from calming; it has opened the floor for another media-initiated misogynistic discourse to be vented under the feeble disguise of ‘just another parody’.
14.features
Tuesday 12 March 2013
The Courier
Cheap as parmo and chips
Times are tight for us students - bills rack up, rent is sucked from our accounts monthly, and Pot Noodle prices are at an all-time high. So how are we to make ends meet? Taking inspiration from his favourite daytime viewing, Features Editor Tom Nicholson took to Tynemouth Market in a bid to unearth some treasure, flog it on eBay and retire to a Mediterranean villa
I
’ve long been an admirer of the BBC’s Bargain Hunt, to the point of refusing to pay my licence fee to ‘The Man’ and instead addressing four or five cheques of varying amounts to presenters David Dickinson and Tim Wonnacott personally. Its mix of bric-a-brac, unilateral fleece-wearing and jolly bow ties has thrust it to the forefront of daytime viewing for thirteen years now, and in my opinion has never been more gripping. Why? Well, aside from the aforementioned, I think the thing which is most brilliant about markets, and Tynemouth market in particular, is the vague sense that at all times one is operating under the consumer radar: those squares in IKEA may have their meatballs and the benefit of central heating, but they’re far less likely to find a oneof-a-kind second-hand armchair, a bloke knocking out posters he’s made in his shed, or indeed the 12.07 to Newcastle Airport via Manors while following the pre-ordained path of yellow lines. Tynemouth station itself was built in 1882, then revamped and reopened in 2012 by HRH Princess Anne after extensive restoration work to the wrought iron canopies over each platform. Sadly
Princess Anne’s stall flogging pirated DVDs of the Robocop trilogy was shut down by the trading standards authority, but her commitment to the
“Those squares in IKEA may have their meatballs and the benefit of central heating, but they won’t find a one-of-a-kind second-hand armchair or a bloke knocking out posters he’s made in his shed” market’s ethos was commendable. The odd mix of wares on display at Tynemouth – a Caribbean food stall over here, a free range sausage stall over there, a trestle table of used highlighters and lowquality hosiery somewhere in the middle – gives a very pleasant jumble sale atmosphere to the whole market. Every thirty seconds or so one is struck by the overwhelming feeling that the smorgasbord of produce is almost too beautiful, and that we truly live in an age of prosperity, beauty, and culture. Then, a couple of seconds later, one reminds one-
self that one probably doesn’t need a nineteenth century ship’s barometer, or a baseball cap with ‘BANGKOK CITY POLICE’ written on it, and tries to work out exactly where the hog roast area is. Such is the magic of Tynemouth market. However, for some reason the Bargain Hunt bandwagon has yet to roll into town at Tynemouth (presumably due to the logistical problems of having to transport all of their recording equipment via a packed-out Metro train). So, taking matters into my own hands, I grabbed my pal Chris Haywood and challenged him to a very similar game of antique-based profiteering, though with enough subtle changes to the format to prevent
2
lawsuits for theft of intellectual property. Full of bargaining vim and haggling vigour, we bounded down to the far end of platform 1 to get our barter on. Alas, our progress was halted almost immediately by the discovery of a stall selling snacks and drinks from huge cardboard boxes for ludicrously low prices. Like many other shoppers, we were drawn in by the 20p bottles of Schweppes lemonade and proceeded to wander around the stall in a daze, unable to believe that in the crazy, mixed-up world we live in there could still exist a sainted place where one might purchase seven Mars bars for a single pound. It wasn’t just us either; a kind of vortex developed around the stall, sucking in bystanders curious as to exactly how many massive bags of deep ridge Walkers crisps they could get for £1.50 (answer: three). Keenly aware that if we stayed near the discount snack stall we were liable to eat our purchases before getting to the eBay stage, Chris and I pressed on in search of our first items. After becoming mesmerised by a 3D picture of horses galloping across an open plain, a vinyl 7” single caught my eye. Seasoned bargain hunters know there’s big money in vinyl if one chooses well, and I was sure I was onto a winner with a copy of ‘The Hitler Rap Parts 1 & 2’ by celebrated director Mel Brooks, since it hits multiple areas which are particularly collector-heavy (vinyl; Mel Brooks; Nazis) and
3 1
The Courier
features.15
Tuesday 12 March 2013
cost just a single pound. The fact that it sounds a bit like ‘Rapture’ by Blondie was a bonus. Chris found his first item minutes later, rummaging around in a pile of old newspapers and pulling out a copy of The Graphic commemorating the funeral of Edward VII. “Old people love this kind of thing”, he said by way of explanation. After agonising over whether to invest heavily in a purchase from an artist selling his own signed, numbered screenprints, I demurred and instead went for another big seller on Bargain Hunt: crockery. Quality is important when considering crockery, so when I found a real Wedgwood pot I could barely get the money out of my pocket quickly enough. Hopping over to the opposite platform, Chris’s attention was immediately arrested by a stall selling toy cars, trains and lorries. He dived straight in and came up holding a van which looked like it had come free with a box of Coco Pops. He giddily pointed out the sticker proclaiming it to be an ‘exclusive first edition’, and nearly skipped away down the platform toward a slightly dodgylooking stall which only sold batteries and diaries. I didn’t have the heart to tell him how shoddy his purchase was, especially given that I was meant to be in competition with him. We drifted past a fairly brilliant but prohibitively expensive military headgear stall, a Nazi memorabilia stall, and a stall selling the gaudiest barometer I’ve ever seen for only £350 before we hit the mother lode. The stall had not only an outrageously overpriced N64, but several SNES consoles, a PlayStation 2, a GameCube and, for some reason,
“In the crazy, mixed-up world we live in there still exists a sainted place where one might purchase seven Mars bars for a single pound” several mallets. I snapped up a Gameboy Advance with Mario Golf for a fiver, though I found out almost immediately why it was so cheap when it refused to turn on. Intending to get a refund, I took it back to the stallholder, who without saying a word took the Gameboy, opened up its battery compartment, and attacked it vigorously with a spoon. “There ye’ gan”, he said, handing it back to me, “sometimes it gets a but rusty round the back. Just hit it with a spoon, ye’ll be reet.” Upon enquiry, the stallholder also informed us that his GameCube games were available for somewhere in the region of £15 apiece. We declined given that this is roughly what they were worth when first released and not stained with coffee, and that nostalgia is fun until the clunky gameplay of The Scorpion King: Rise of the Akkadian shatters one’s childhood memories. After toying with the idea of a fob watch, Chris settled on a set of children’s dominoes with pictures of animals on them instead of numbers, reasoning that, “If it doesn’t sell, I’ll just give them to my cousin. In fact I hope they don’t sell.” Slightly put out that Chris was refusing to properly get into the Bargain Hunt spirit, we had a sausage sandwich each, got on the Metro home and stuck our purchases online. I should point out now that Chris was too lazy to put his own items on sale and left it to me, so I took full advantage and tried to sabotage his listings with unappetising descriptions. It’s his own fault. When Ice-T sang “Don’t hate the player, hate the game”, he was surely thinking of exactly this scenario. This is how our purchases fared in the open market.
1. Mel Brooks 7” single
Price paid: £1 eBay description: This is a 7” single of the lost 1983 classic from Mel Brooks’ film To Be Or Not To Be. I guarantee you if Madonna had released this it would have got higher in the charts than number 12, though perhaps her career would have been somewhat compromised from there on in. For fans of Blondie, Miami Sound Machine, Breakbot and The Third Reich. Sleeve: Apart from being ripped, bent and repaired with sellotape, it’s in mint condition. Disc: Actually quite good condition, a few scuffs here and there though. Sold for: Unsold Incredibly, nobody on the whole internet was interested in this disco anthem. More fool them. I’m actually sort of glad this didn’t sell. It’ll make a great discussion piece at parties.
2. Wedgwood pot
Price paid: £4 eBay description: A lovely little 4” high Wedg-
4
5
6 wood jasperware pot dating from between 1929 and 1970 with no blemishes or cracks whatsoever. The design features a vaguely Greco-Romanlooking lass riding a chariot on a cloud on one side and on the other side a couple of broads chatting to a child holding a trumpet. It’s very moving to witness in the flesh - or rather, in the CLAY!!!! But seriously, it is nice. No idea what you’d use it for, but I would suggest it would make a great holder for used-up batteries, a paperclip depository or a pot for a very small bush. Sold for: £2.20 A slightly disappointing return on the Wedgwood given its pedigree and the fact that there was a very, very brief bidding war between two users called garythealpaca and jerseygal56 with about three days’ bidding still to go. It sputtered out and I was left bereft of a decent pot for next to nothing.
3. Gameboy Advance
Price paid: £5 eBay description: Pre-loved Nintendo Gameboy Advance which comes with Mario Golf included. Alas, it comes without a box, but who even reads manuals anymore? Nerds, that’s who. One of the connectors in the battery compartment is a little rusty, but attacking it with a spoon usually does the trick. Sold for: £2.50 Another poor showing from a potential big-hitter, I did at least manage to shift the bloody thing. Mario’s crestfallen cries of “Ohhh, double-bogey” were starting to do my head in a bit.
4. Old magazine about dead monarch Price paid: £2 eBay description: This edition of The Graphic dates from May 24th 1910 and commemorates the passing of King Edward VII (the third best King Edward we’ve had in my opinion). Quite a few pages loose in the middle but that just means it’s easier to stick them on your walls as posters. Ideal for someone who is a fan of history, people called Edward, or royal deaths. Sold for: Not sold Given the upswing in interest in royal memorabilia since the royal wedding, the lack of a sale comes as a bit of a shock. To give you an idea of the scale of the tat royalists are willing to buy, I was once in a Post Office in Chester and a woman came in and bought two commemorative royal wedding ashtrays. Yep, she liked the royal family so much she wanted to stub out sixty fags on their faces every day.
5. Die-cast van Price paid: £3.50 eBay description: Die cast model of a van which says 'Vauxhall' on the side. It also says 'Exclusive First Edition' on the side so that has to count for something. Great collector's piece or a gift for someone who likes living in Vauxhall. Sold for: Not sold Unfortunately for Chris, there were no collectors of low-quality plastic trucks interested in his particular low-quality plastic truck.
6. Animal dominoes Price paid: £3 eBay description: This is a set of dominoes with animals printed on them. Would make a great present for a child or an easily amused adult who can’t count. Sold for: Not sold Somewhat unsurprisingly, Chris’s selling strategy came unstuck when he attempted to court two markets who court the under-5s and the mathematically subnormal, two of the least technologically-adept demographics.
Final profits
Tom
£-5.30
Lessons learned
- If you’re going to haggle, make sure the item you’re buying is: a) worth over £10 (nobody likes the tight-arse trying to get 50p knocked off a £3 vase) b) the sort of thing someone might actually buy – as funny as a signed picture of Dean Gaffney might be, you’d best be prepared to have it in your house for the long term. c) not being sold by a little old lady whose prized crockery collection is also her retirement fund. She may well be more easily swayed by your bullish, aggressive haggling, but it’s just mean. - If you want to have any money left for actual sellable bargains, don’t spend too much time around the ludicrously cheap snacks and drinks stall. - Clear your schedule for a lunch hour; the variety of refreshments on offer is staggering. - Probably don’t jack in your degree for full-time bargain hunting unless you’re heir to a large fortune and can thus absorb continual losses, and don’t mind ending up with stacks of unsold crap in your mansion.
£-8.50 Chris
It’s a landslide! While I struggled a little, Chris’ gambles on high-risk niche items backfired spectacularly, leaving him the worse off by £3.20. We’re both losers, but I am a slightly smaller loser.
Watch out for Tom and Chris’ Bargain Hunting misadventures, coming soon to TCTV youtube.com/thecourieronline
16.lifestyle
Tuesday 12 March 2013
The Courier
Lifestyle Editors: Catherine Davison, Ellie Cropper and Ellyn Bramley Online Editors: Rosie Devonshire and Colette Hunter
How to: survive your annoying housemates The Food Thief
You could attempt to resolve this situation with the age-old faux pas of writing your name on your food. But if your flatmate is drunk and hungry, a felt-tip smudge across your waffles is not going to cut it. You need to play dirty. Leave out-of-date food lying around to tempt them into eating it. If getting ill doesn’t put a stop to the thievery, get creative. Contaminate your food with whatever you see fit; mud, hot chillies and soap will work well. If this twisted game of fridge-roulette fails to cease their criminal tendencies, get even. Give them a taste of their own medicine and steal their food. Just ensure your groceries are of a lower quality, so you’re still gaining something from the situation. Fingers crossed for some M&S ready meals.
Occasionally
The Neat-Freak
They can’t stand mess
Image: Flickr (couscouschocolat)
It’s not them that’s the problem!
Only when there’s something in it for them
Do they have problems being tidy?
Always
How long do they spend in the bathroom in the morning?
Never Takes the Bins Out
Under 20 minutes
The Annoying Boyfriend
Does your housemate irritate you constantly?
How often do you see them?
It’s not that everything is disorderly, it’s just that this person has a cleaning problem. You can’t make a quick cup of tea anymore unless you want to be reminded of the stirring spoon, milk and sugar bowl on the kitchen counter. Not only are you patronised with comments about the correlation between age and responsibility, but their obsession with neatness sees no boundaries when it comes to personal possessions. For instance, you find the contents of your fridge carefully arranged so that it is impossible to get a single thing without removing everything in the way of it. The reasonable thing to do is to work against their crazy cleaning habits. Refuse to follow the alphabetically ordered arrangement of cleaning products, leave the toilet seat up (even if you’re a girl) and inform them that they’re ruining the carpet by over-hoovering. The more freakish their neatness gets, the messier you need to become.
Text by Rebecca Gregory, Nicole Stevenson, Jenny Cook and Catherine Davison Illustrations by Elizabeth Shedden
START
Is your housemate responsible for the crap but doesn’t want to get their hands dirty? Do they constantly give the ‘I’ll do it in the morning’ and ‘I’ll do it when I’m back’ excuses? Does their ignorance to this basic chore make you look responsible for stacks of trash when you receive surprise visits from family or the almighty landlord? Although you wish rubbish bothered you as little as it bothers them, when the air in the kitchen is relatively inappropriate for humans, science and morals force you to make the journey from the house to the yard and back to make the relieving disposal. Put a stop to their mess, by teaching your housemate a lesson of hygiene: make them think they’ve caused a pest infestation by creating a trail of little feet and place a fake rat on their shelf. If that doesn’t work, make them sleep in it.
Sabotage is key here. If they are trying to have some ‘alone time’, constantly interrupt, go and ask them questions, or tell them you want to talk about a personal problem; anything to prevent them from ‘getting busy’. You can also make them feel really awkward by screaming ‘PDA ALERT’ whenever they so much as brush past each other - they will soon avoid contact altogether. If they are still joined at the hip 24-7, it’s time for foul-play. Turn on all hot taps in the house whilst either of them are taking a shower, or play loud music whilst they are trying to sleep. If you do all of this, hopefully they will take the hint and tone down their togetherness. If you are truly lucky, you may even manage to drive the couple out of the house for the next couple of weeks.
Hear them all the time
The Attention Seeker
Every house has one; the person who just thrives on melodrama. When regaling a story their voice can be heard from the other end of the street, and having a conversation with them regularly turns into a shouting match. They’d do anything to be the centre of attention, and fits of tears, horrific illnesses or high-pitched noises constantly demand your attention. The only way to combat this is to better them. Come home from uni with a new story every day; make up pregnancies, affairs with lecturers, threaten to quit uni. Cut all of your hair off and spend at least the next three days crying because it looks so awful. If they up the antics and become even more melodramatic to steal the limelight back, respond by ignoring them completely; look half a metre to their left whenever they begin to talk, whistle cheerfully whenever the tears start, and shut doors in their face if they follow you out of a room. Complete your conquest by repeatedly forgetting their name.
At least an hour
Leaves a Tsunami on the Bathroom
Ever find yourself wondering whether you’re in the bathroom or actually just stepped straight into monsoon season? This is a feeling I’m sure is common to a lot of you: showering after your flatmate has finally finished wallowing. Of course, you could always just make sure you get up earlier before they flood the place, but for the lazier ones amongst you, here are some more strategic tips on making them give up their constant swamping: 1. Steal their towel. The humiliation of the dreaded ‘naked dash’ from the shower to their room will ensure that careless hours washing turns in to a panic-filled 2 minute frenzy. 2. Don’t shower. This requires dedication, but after the third day of not washing away the BO and booze, they’ll be practically begging you to take all the shower time you need. 3. Comment on their amphibious appearance. Nothing says spend less time in the shower like “what’s with the pale, wrinkled, slightly squishy feel you’ve got going on?”
The Courier
sex&relationshipslifestyle.17
Tuesday 12 March 2013
thecourieronline.co.uk/lifestyle c2.lifestyle@ncl.ac.uk | @Courier_Life
Blind Date: Alex Baker, 3rd Year Ancient History and Archeology meets Lauren Swidenbank, 3rd Year Economics
Alex on Lauren
Lauren on Alex
Rebecca Gregory
Survival of the Fallible
#1 - Technology What’s your usual type? I usually end up with the girl that ‘ate all the pies’ - but when I have a choice I’m a big fan of the shorter brunettes with a good figure - so Lauren was a good match! First impressions? I’m an ‘always on time’ guy so when Lauren rocked up 2-3 minutes late I had already gone through so many scenarios in my head as to why she may have stood me up. So relief was my first impression.
First impressions? He was very well dressed which I find important and had a great smile. Any interesting conversation topics? His background of moving and living around the world.
Any interesting conversation topics? She appeared to be a sport lover which hit a chord with me. Sinners was also a key topic as we both agreed that it was a top trebs bar.
Any awkward moments? When his friends came over! What was his best trait? He was really laid back and easy to get on with, there were barely any awkward silences.
Any awkward moments? Some of my friends rocked up and found us which was not ideal... but for me, there was a point when I dribbled just a little bit but I don’t know if she noticed or not... Also prior to her arrival I asked another lonely girl if she was called Lauren - she wasn’t - that was when the nightmare scenarios started running in my head.
What was his worst trait? His taste in trebles bars! Especially his love for Gotham...
What was her best trait? She has a cute cheeky giggle - probably a result of my cracking banter....
At any point did you understand why he was single? No...what’s wrong with being single!
What was her worst trait? Still looking for one.
Were you tempted to lean in for a kiss? Not on a first date!
At any point did you understand why she was single? Not really but I bet her list about me for this question will take up most of this page ---->
Would your parents approve? Well he studies Ancient History and Archaeology which is my mum’s speciality! So yeah he would probably go down quite well...
Were you tempted to lean in for a kiss? Tempted but didn’t want to scare her off ! Would your parents approve? They would be over the moon that I wasn’t going to be single forever. What would your ideal date be? Probably some sort of activity - go surfing, eat fish and chips/BBQ on the beach, chill on the beach and watch the sunset... I’ll never hear the end of it when my housemates read this.
How did the date end? Numbers were exchanged and then he went on to Sinners!
How did the date end? Swapped numbers. Said that I would take her on a second date if she didn’t publicly rinse me in The Courier! Marks out of 10? 8
What’s your usual type? Dark haired guys who are into their sports. Big arms are a bonus!
What would your ideal date be? Something simple - the beach and then a pub lunch. Marks out of 10? 7.5
Unlucky in love? The Courier is here to help! Send your details to c2.lifestyle@ncl.ac.uk
Technology really is a double-edged sword. It seems all hunky dory when we’re trawling through entertaining pull-cam pictures of our friends from the night before, or re-tweeting witty retorts from our favourite celebs; however there is a serious downside. Sadly, this shame-filled downside is something I’m all too familiar with and I presume I’m not the only one. I mean, I sincerely hope I am not the only person out there who has accidentally added their other-halves ex whilst on a Facebook stalking binge? I blame touch-screen phones and how they decide it will be hilarious to click when I’m actually trying to scroll. Obviously technology is a medium through which the devil is working these days when we consider I haven’t only done that on one lone occasion. Or there was the time my gossipy aunt Judith told my grandma I had become ‘one of those lesbians’ after an unfortunate fraping attack. I’m sure you have been the victim of similar incidences. Not the most enjoyable situations a person can experience. Not only is technology problematic on the wondrous world wide web, but it is becoming a menace in normal everyday life too. Raise your hand if you have ever fallen flat on your face in Exhibition Park whilst trying to change tracks on your iPod. Anybody else? Okay, so I might be alone in that particular technological stumble but you must have at least bumped into somebody whilst texting, right? We are so absorbed in our gadgets that looking where we’re going seems to have taken a back-seat. Prioritising Instagram over safety and ungrazed faces - what is the world coming to? So our lives are being drowned in new, flashy technology; nobody can deny it or really escape from it. Admittedly it aids us in our day-to-day tasks; thanks to the beauty of email, we rarely have to endure the laborious task of writing a letter and leaving the house to post the damned thing. I love TV, online shopping and Twitter but it is undeniably bittersweet. I know both my face and my ego can’t handle many more bruises. I’m not getting all hippie-dippie and demanding we must go back to simpler times. What I am advising is that at the very least it might be worth taking a break from it every now and again, before our lives transform into a nightmarish real-life episode of Charlie Brooker’s Black Mirror. It would certainly give us all less opportunities to procrastinate when we should be writing assignments and revising. Toning-down the Facebook stalking is a resolution I doubt any of us would not benefit from. After all, curiosity killed the cat, or at the very least my dignity. And finally, which I think is fairly genius - we should all go away and create a second Facebook account. It will be purely for family members to lull them into thinking we are still the absolute angels they once thought we were before social media came along to shatter that flimsy façade. Problems solved.
18.lifestyle
Tuesday 12 March 2013
The Courier
thecourieronline.co.uk/lifestyle c2.lifestyle@ncl.ac.uk | @courier_life
BNOC knock...
Who’s there? Johnny Neville, NURFC Club Captain We do have a rule as a team that no one is allowed to see with their girlfriends the night before matches (I assume this means for more than a cosy chat), but I don’t have any personal rituals. Some of the others do though… some of them always eat the same breakfast, one guy has to put his left boot on before his right boot, that sort of thing.
Fresher Chef Mars Bar Cornflakes and Mint Chocolate Martini Mackerel? Liqueur? Wasabi? Am I made of money? Do I shop at M&S? It’s nice to make something different every now and then without breaking the bank, to celebrate without making it complicated. This week: Eat yourself into a chocolate coma this Easter Make pre-drinks a little more exciting this holiday by switching vodka coke for a chocolate vodka martini. Save the pennies by using vanilla extract instead of vanilla liqueur. Ingredients: Cornflakes (75g) Butter (50g) Mars bars (225g) Mini Chocolate Eggs 12 paper fairy cake cases
This week I caught up with Johnny Neville, final year Agricbusiness Management student, and club captain of NURFC, ahead of the Stan Calvert rugby match. In the midst of all the hype, I was keen to get a bit further into the rugby psyche… How important is Stan Calvert to the team? It’s probably the biggest game of the year, especially for the First XV. It’s more of a big deal this year after ‘Clash of the Titans’ was cancelled. Also, we lost to the Poly a few weeks back, so everyone is eager for payback time at Kingston Park. (By now we will know the outcome of the game, so I hope that Newcastle got the payback they wanted…) Payback and rivalry aside, are you mates with any of the Northumbria players? Yeah, I’ve got a few mates that I know from playing rugby outside of university. I’m good mates with the Northumbria captain! There’s plenty of tension on the pitch, maybe even more so because we know each other, but it’s all good off the pitch. Are there any rituals you go through before a game?
Method: 1. Melt the chocolate and butter in a bowl until smooth 2. Stir in the cornflakes until they are covered in chocolate 3. Divide into the paper cases and top with the chocolate eggs 4. Leave in the fridge for an hour or until completely set 5. Wash down with a Mint Chocolate Martini
Restaurant Review Butter�ly Cabinet
Ingredients: Vodka (35ml) Vanilla Extract (1 tsp) Single Cream (25ml) Sugar/ Gomme syrup (25ml) Aero Peppermint Chocolate (25g) *Measures per glass Method: 1. Shake the vodka, cream and vanilla extract in a cocktail shaker (or as I like to use, a cup with a plate over it) 2. Pour the sugar syrup in a bowl and coat the rim of your martini glass (don’t have one of these either) with it 3. Grate the chocolate on a plate and dip the rim on your glass (martini or otherwise) into the grated choc to coat 4. Pour the liquid into the glass 5. Drink!
Katie Smith
The interior of this hideaway heaven in Heaton, with its attic junk shop twist makes you spend the first five minutes of your visit staring around in awe. Its Art Deco ceiling, mismatch chairs (most likely eBay) and grand chandelier makes Grandma chic spring to mind. We were quickly ushered to our table at 10am, which meant we narrowly missed the 11am carnage. Looking around at other tables, people were head down, shovelling their gourmet breakfasts. So much choice, printed in such little font - 10 point at the most. There was an extensive coffee menu with mint, fig and amaretto syrups. Cray. You could even create your own flavoured water and ice tea. This made the drinks order extremely difficult. In the end we decided on a gingerbread latte and a vanilla latte. Classics. On the arrival of
I’m curious as to whether you do anything other than just live and breathe rugby? Ha, yeah I do actually. Obviously the rugby and rugby socializing can take over a bit, but I do other things… Like? Erm… (bit of an awkward silence) yeah… like, tennis… I play a lot of sport. Skiing, a bit of surfing…
I see you have a starring role in the RAG naked calendar? Ha, there was a LOT of fake tan and vegetable oil involved in the taking of that photo. Oh, and naked press-ups! We’re always keen to promote the club, and show we’re good fun. Finally, who is your favourite player in the Six Nations? I think I’d have to say Stuart Hogg. I’ve played with a few Scots, and I have a lot of time for the Scottish team… When the interview is over, Johnny reaches under the table for his crutches, and I’m painfully aware of how I’ve just made an injured player sit and talk about a match which he has to sit out of…
Moving swiftly back to the rugby then! Do you think that rugby ‘lads’ get an unfair reputation? Yeah, there is a definite preconception about rugby players. A lot of the time people have already made a judgement about you which can be frustrating. We’re not as bad as people think. You’ll grow to like us… I promise! Speaking of being liked, is being a rugby player an advantage when you’re on the pull? Absolutely not! My success has been terrible this year. (I’m sorry, but at this point I have to note that I’m not entirely sure I believe him. I totally buy all the stuff about rugby players being pretty decent, and misunderstood, but saying he’s not been popular with the girls this year? Not convinced) Grace Stephenson
Opening times: Monday – Saturday 9am – 5pm Sunday 10am – 4pm 200 Heaton Road NE6 5HP 0191 265 9920 the beverages we were instantly struck by the dirty crockery. There is a difference between shabby chic and dirty and sadly this was the latter. That aside, we were impressed by the latte art, which had clearly taken training. Hats off to them. Next came the task of deciding what to eat... The USA breakfast is a popular favourite with regulars, four enormous pancakes, two rashers of bacon, two hash browns and two sausages finished with a pot of maple syrup. This was as epic as it sounds, even for two gals with impressive appetites. At first the thought of hash browns with pancakes was slightly unnerving. Carbicide alert! Quite frankly, it was all a bit too much. And we don’t throw around that term lightly. The one pot of syrup just wasn’t a sufficient amount, as the side plate-sized pancakes just mopped it all up. But it was fine as we asked for another pot, which was swiftly brought over and poured immediately over the breakfast. You can have pancakes with literally anything you want in them, including chocolate and apple and cinnamon but the question remains; why are there four? One of those bad boys leaves you satisfied for weeks. The classic English breakfast comes with two sausages, two bacon, two eggs (cooked to your liking, we went for poached), two hash browns and a substantial amount of beans. You may wonder, where are the mushrooms? Where’s the black pudding? Where’s the grilled tomato? But we didn’t miss any of that, only the lack of carbs. So we ordered a toasted muffin on the side. A big statement, but the poached eggs were cooked to perfection; the yolk was runny but not overwhelmingly so. They were clearly free range. The beans kept everything lubricated, just what you need when so much meat is involved. The sausages were girthy and great quality.
“A big statement, but the poached eggs were cooked to perfection” After demolishing what was probably half a pig, we experienced a massive comedown. So full, we wouldn’t need to eat for days... OK, hours. Looking at our neighbours’ fresh breakfasts - chocolate chip pancakes with chocolate sauce and eggs benedict with black pudding, left us feeling nauseous. It was all in all a very intense experience, but very enjoyable nevertheless.
Ellyn Bramley and Ellie Cropper
The Courier
lifestyle.19
Tuesday 12 March 2013
Lifestyle Editors: Catherine Davison, Ellie Cropper and Ellyn Bramley Online Editors: Rosie Devonshire and Colette Hunter
Lifestyle’s Top Easter Break Pick: Rome Ten tips for visiting Italy’s capital 1. With Rome rating as number two in the world for the highest rate of pickpocketing, it is needless to say that you should take extra care of your belongings. Ladies, zip those bags up and hold on to the zip and guys invest in a bum bag (or ask nicely for a girl to look after your things!) Take extra care in pickpocketing hotspots like on the metro and at the Vatican. 2. Stay away from the main streets when choosing somewhere to eat. The back street alleys, as well as being ten times cheaper than the main streets, also give you much more authentic Italian cuisine. Speaking of which, prepare to come home a stone heavier than when you left - after all who can say no to pizza and pasta for every meal! 3. Buy your tickets for the Colosseum at the Roman Forum. You’ll save hours of time which can be better spent exploring. The tickets are valid for both the Colosseum and the Forum (which should not be ignored) and are valid for two days, so even if you don’t get to do them both in one day you can always come back the next. 4. Take your student card. Most of the main tourist attractions like the Vatican give discounts for students but only with proof in some form of student ID.
With Isla Cross 11AM Rudely awoken by a house viewing. It was totally embarrassing. The guys were all pretty hot and I was still in bed with no make-up on. Far from ideal. I managed to change Spotify from Little Mix to James Blake just before they came in, though. SAVE.
5. Do the Spanish Steps bar crawl. These are heavily promoted around the Spanish Steps. We paid 25 Euros, had an hour of free drinks and had free entry into a club which should have cost 30 Euros by itself! 6. Pick your hotel wisely. We stayed in a hotel called Hotel Beautiful 2 which should really have been our first clue (I dread to think how bad Hotel Beautiful 1 was!) Make sure you take a look at Tripadvisor reviews to get an idea of how good (or bad) the hotel/hostel you’re about to book is. 7. Take your EHIC card. It allows you to get access to state provided health access (if you need it) in any European country. It doesn’t replace travel insurance though so make sure you get that too. 8. Go to the Trevi Fountain at night. It was one of the highlights of my trip to Rome - it’s absolutely breath-taking and well worth a visit. It only gets better at night when they illuminate it, making it come to life. Make sure to toss in a coin into the fountain which is thought to ensure your return
Hottie of the Week Georgie, 19 Interviewed by Katie Smith
Degree: Medicine Stage 1 Single/Taken: Single Cringiest moment you’ve experienced at uni so far: On the last social I went on I had ‘single’ written in marker all up my arm, but disappointed that it wasn’t having the desired effect I yelled “Can these boys not read?!” Favourite chat up line: Grab your coat, you’ve pulled. Simple but effective. Relationship deal breakers: Cheating, bad eyebrows, playing the violin, hairy backs. What’s your funniest sex-related story? I was once burgled whilst having sex.
visit to Rome. 9. The Vatican is one of the most awe-inspiring, beautiful and strange places you will ever go. Looking up at the basilica ceiling will ensure you get neck ache as there is so much to see. Make sure you walk up to the top of the dome, it is well worth the 500-or-so steps and gives you what I think is the best view of Rome. There are plenty of rest stops (and water fountains) on the way up which is particularly good for when you’re nursing your horrendous bar crawl hangover. If like me you’re partial to a bit of people watching, St. Peters Square is one of the best spots I’ve found anywhere! 10. The boring safety bit: stay as a group. Like in any capital city, Rome has its good and its well… not so good, parts. After a heavy night in the disco pub (kind of like Flares in a Italian man’s kitchen), always walk home as a group; this particularly goes for girls! Vicky Banks Photos: Flickr (Moyan_Brenn and WillowGardeners)
Trending Topics of the week #milakunis Mila Kunis proves not all celebrities are in cloud cuckoo land. She helped out a nervous reporter on his first interview by having a casual chat about Nandos instead of promoting her film Oz: The Great And Powerful. When pressed to do her duties she reeled off a list of scripted answers and returned to discussing Jaeger bombs, got to love her. #believetour The Beliebers were up in arms when their beloved Justin took to the stage two hours late. Many of them had to leave early because it was past their bedtime. Justin apologised to his fans, and in order to avoid a backlash went on stage two minutes early the following day. What a guy. #MothersDay With Mother’s Day fast approaching Twitter was showing their appreciation. There were plenty of people pondering about what to get, or simply showing some love. #katieprice It was the battle of the Page 3 models this week, all starting with Katie Price branding Kelly Brook a ‘heifer’. Twitter went into uproar, and resulted in a war between the two with Brook hilariously comparing Price to Magda from There’s Something About Mary. #joeybarton The outspoken footballer Joey Barton struck again by branding Justin Bieber a “smack addiction waiting to happen”. Unsurprisingly, fans of the Biebs were outraged, despite the fact he arrived two hours late for his concert… Hannah Pickerden
12PM Going to head down to the library in a bit. The others are already there, and I don’t want to miss out on any of the gossip from last night. I managed to get in loads of the official photos, so everyone will be able to see what a super awesome time I had. I better roll a few fags before I leave, though. I’ve started smoking rollies. It looks way more ‘street’, but it takes SO much EFFORT. I wish you could buy pre-rolled rollies. Then you could still look cooler, but without having to actually do it yourself! I just smoke them when I’m around the others. I’ll stick to my menthols when nobody’s looking. 1PM Totally stoked that it’s turned cold again. I forked out on this beanie the other week when James told me that the brand was really banging, so I was gutted when it started to get sunny. On second thoughts, summer is going to be too sick. I can’t wait to sit out on the ledge at the front of our house and chill in the sun. Such a great place to smoke and drink. Well, it isn’t that comfortable, and your arse goes numb after about ten minutes, but that’s not the point. 1.30PM Not sure whether to cycle in or not. I wonder if they’d let me put it on the bus? Then I could just ride it for the bit up to the library. That way everyone would still see it… 3PM Decided not to cycle in the end. Far too hungover. Caught up with all the others in the Robbo café, and had a real laugh about how totally mental and wild we all were last night. They all started going on about some house DJ or something, but I had no clue what they were talking about, and zoned out. 4PM All the others have gone to lectures now. I hate the library. Have done absolutely no work whatsoever. I just keep refreshing Facebook in case they’ve uploaded the official photos from last night. You’d think they would have done it by now! I keep trying to catch the eye of the hot guy opposite, but he won’t look at me. 4.30PM What the ACTUAL? The photos are up and I’m not in ANY of them. What a waste of my life. Grace Stephenson Illustrations: Daisy Billowes and Ellie Heggarty
20.listings12-17March
Tuesday 12 March 2013
The Courier
Listings Editor: Sally Priddle
Tuesday
Steptoe and Son 7.30pm Northern Stage
Two Men. Two World Wars. Two lives knitted together as tight as a thrice darned sock. Bound together by birth, business and bloody bad luck, Albert and Harold Steptoe wake up every morning to the same old, same old, sickening sight of each other. Do they even notice the world turning as they cling on? Adapted from the legendary scripts of Galton and Simpson, this new co-production with West Yorkshire Playhouse charts the surprising dance of father and son, This is for anyone who has had a parent, anyone who has had a child, anyone who has wanted to tear the walls down and run across the fields naked. Darkly comic, and deeply moving, this is a 20th century icon, re imagined for the new generation. Tickets from £12.50 available from Northern Stage’s box office and website.
Wednesday Easter Egg Hunt
2pm Students’ Union, Green Cube by reception.
Get out your magnifying glasses and see how many chocolate eggs you can find across the Union.
The Bobby Thompson Story 7.30pm, 13th -16th Northern Stage
Bobby Thompson’s woodbine smoking “Little Waster” alter ego became a folk hero across the North East, yet this hid a man troubled by drink, gambling debts and the tax man. To commemorate the 25th anniversary of bobby’s death, Pete Peverley returns with his touching, heartfelt and very funny celebration of the life and work of this comic legend. Tickets £25 available from Northern Stage’s box office and website
Thursday
Friday
Give It A Go: The Sage
Harry Hill Sausage Time
We are taking you across the water to visit the famous Sage Gateshead, the international home for music and music discovery. Have a look round the landmark building and take in the view as you enjoy a beverage from the café, a lovely way to relax after a stressful term. Tickets available from the Students’ Union Activities Corridor with £1 deposit.
The self-styled floppy-collared loon is back with a live show that promises incontrovertible proof that God exists. Joined by showband The Harrys, there’s a section exclusively for Tongans, a chance to catch up on Harry’s Nan’s latest ailments, the legendary Stouffer the Cat and a debut solo stand-up spot by Gary, Harry’s son from his first marriage and recognisable for his role as Alan Sugar in Harry Hill’s TV Burp. There’ll be expert-whistler-of-charthits grandson Sam and an all-singing, alldancing finale. Oh, and a giant sausage. Tickets £31.75 available from Theatre Royal’s box office or website.
12pm History Room, Students’ Union
Madama Butter�ly 7.30pm Mill Volvo Tyne Theatre
This season Grand Opera of Belarus brings to you Puccini’s Madam Butterfly. This tragic story is an operatic favourite and is performed with a large, live orchestra. Tickets £15 available from Mill Volvo’s box office or website.
7.30pm Theatre Royal
Jessie J
La Boheme
The legend herself - no more words needed. Tickets £25 available from MetroRadio Arena’s box office and website.
Tickets £15 available from Mill Volvo’s box office or website.
7pm MetroRadio Arena
7.30pm Mill Volvo Tyne Theatre
Spring
special 2013
Illustration: Fran Ede
2.springspecial
Welcome from the Editor S
o there we go – another term gone, winter more or less behind us (although you probably wouldn’t think so after this weekend’s not-so-convenient blizzard right in the middle of the Stan Calvert rugby finale), and spring just about sprung. On the one hand it’s flown by in a flurry of election fever, Stan Calvert fever, and general fever as those winter bugs refused to quit. But whilst February seemed to disappear in next to no time, everyone also seems ready for a good four-week break. For some of you, this will mean a load of spare time – after you’ve caught up on sleep and seen off your end of term big night out hangover, what are you going to do with it all? Look to page 4, for our pick of the best cultural spots in Newcastle to while away your afternoons and the most hotly-tipped names in culture to look up before everyone else does. If you’ve still got a few quid leftover from your last student loan payment (the beans on toast diet has its advantages), head over to page 7 for the spring trends you might want to be looking out for. Some of you will be looking ahead to summer and all that that entails – amongst all that scrimping, saving and lounging around you may be planning a trip abroad. Head over to page 6 and find out what you need to be doing now to be ready for your summer adventures, whether you’re off on a city break, going inter-railing or planning an all-out ‘just me and the road’ backpacking expedition. It’s hard to avoid the issue much further – as much as you might get a bit more spare time, the spring break also brings with it a ton of revision, essays, dissertations and generally unwelcome levels of uni work. And if you’re an international student or a postgraduate, you may not find yourself with much of a break at all. Never fear though – on pages 4 and 5, you’ll find a perfect revision playlist whether you need a tune to spur you on when you hit ‘the wall’ in an Adam Richmanesque fashion, something to get you back to concentration mode, or a song for those times when you feel like smashing up your keyboard and hiding away in your duvet. If you’re going to max your productivity, you’ll need to plan your work breaks carefully too – the odd visit to BuzzFeed here, a TV break there… it’s all just part of the process, right? Take a look over on page 5 for a list of shows you can just about justify as either educational (Countdown is definitely acceptable), short enough to not really count (until you inevitably find yourself watching five episodes in a row), or an old favourite - the comforting equivalent of a warm cup of tea. See too a list of old film favourites to carry you through when all seems lost – quote along to Shrek, get inspired by Up, or just get angry and hunt everyone down a la Liam Neeson in Taken. We’ll all forget about Taken 2 for now. If you’re after more justifiable modes of procrastination, you could even look to the content on these two pages here – brush up on your political knowledge as the writing of manifestos for the 2015 General Election gets underway, or read up on the science behind regeneration as all those leaves reappear on the trees. It’s all (sort of) educational. Oh, and there’s a bit down there on the seasonal return of Doctor Who, because everyone loves Doctor Who, right? I hope you’ve enjoyed reading The Courier this term - have a great spring break, recharge batteries, get productive, get distracted, and prepare for how quickly summer will come around. We’ll be back in April to keep on bringing you the latest news, the best features and widest sports coverage on campus. Yours, Ben Travis Editor
Tuesday 12 March 2013
Contents
page 2 - Mystic Clegg? Predicting manifestos The main political parties are soon to begin work on their manifestos for the 2015 General Elections. We look into the policies they’ll be working on to try and gain your vote. page 3 - Spring has sprung: The science of regeneration Spring - it’s all about regeneration isn’t it? As everything comes back to full bloom after winter, we take a look at nature’s most impressive restorative powers. The Doctor returns to cure Easter boredom Speaking of regeneration, Doctor Who is back! Returning to the Saturday night schedule over the Easter weekend, have a read of
The Courier
what you can expect from the latest batch of episodes in the longest running sci-fi TV series of all time.
Keeping on top of your work? Then keep on top of your procrastination, with the perfect TV and films to keep you happily distracted.
Page 4 - Culturally bloom in 2013 With the month-long spring break bringing with it a load of spare time for many lucky students, take a look at the cultural institutions you should check out.
Page 6 - Start trek: Where to boldly go in 2013 You may already have grand designs for your summer, with a trip abroad in mind. What do you need to be sorting now to make sure you see it all through?
Class of ‘13: Who’s who in Arts We’re knee-deep in 2013 now, so here are a few hotly-tipped names you should really be looking into by now. You’ll be ‘the cultured one’ in your friendship group. The Ultimate Revision Playlist No prizes for guessing this one. Inspirational, easy-going and anger-relieving songs to keep you going while your work. Page 5 - Procrastination stations
Page 7 - The Fashion Editors’ Fix: Spring Edition A new season requires a new wardrobe check out these affordable options to ensure you look up-to-date, but can still afford food. Page 8 - Verity’s Summer on the horizon An interview with local director Ben Crowe, whose debut feature film Verity’s Summer is highly tipped for success in this year’s film festivals.
Mystic Clegg? Predicting manifestos The 2015 General Election may seem a long way off yet, but the parties are all working on their policies now to try and get your vote. News Editor Susie Beever looks into her crystal ball to see what lies ahead Most students are wondering where they’ll be in two years’ time from now. Third years will have fingers crossed over the prospect of a job more intellectually stretching than pulling the perfect pint. Second years may still be clinging desperately onto the hope of having pulled off that first through a sea of Wednesday nights at theCUT and re-runs of Mock the Week on iPlayer. Freshers, expect nothing less than the debt accumulated by the rising cost of trebles to shift towards the 25p tax on hot water in the library café. However, whilst the 7 May 2015 rings no particular bells of significance as of yet, politically-minded students will be aware that this is the date set for the country to decide who will be fit to govern it over the impending four years. Opinion is divided over which way the next general election will swing; despite the general consensus being in favour of a victory for Labour, there is still a belief that David Cameron’s party will remain in the gilded throne of the front bench, with the stance that five years is not enough for the regime of harsh cuts to take effect. Not nearly enough. It’s been an interesting three years of higher education politics - never has it seemed that student issues have been in the national news so regularly. Undergraduates have begun footing three times the bill for that extra line in the skills and qualifications part of their CV, while Michael Gove’s face has become even more deeply inset with frown lines over the ever-perplexing state of GCSEs and A Levels. Then there was the phenomenon of a still of Clegg’s face from a YouTube video embossed in ink onto the ‘funny things that happened this week’ section of the national papers. So it is without surprise that plans by the three major parties plan to set out focussing on student issues in their next set of manifestos. Cameron, Clegg and Miliband will be trying desperately to erase any evidence of Parliament ever resembling the inmates from the Big Brother house.
Conservatives Cameron’s party will be making some form of embarrassing attempt at shaping a friendlier student manifesto, which according to The New Statesman is already taking shape. Conservatives will shape their campaign to re-iterate the benefits of £9,000 tuition fees, and that graduates won’t pay back a penny until having found work. Expect deeper welfare cuts however, despite Osborne announcing a £10bn slash in the Autumn budget (curtailed by the Lib Dems to £3.8bn). Housing benefits for under-25s will be erased from the 2015 manifesto, while students will be unable to claim benefits upon leaving school at 16. Although the latter strategy may prove beneficial in getting more young people into work or education, higher education and vocational courses may be harder to come by if the entirety of Britain’s youth is being squeezed into it like commuters on the 9am Metro. The Tories’ primary aim will, however, be to distance them selves as much as possible from the
Lib Dems. After five years of having Starbucks delivered on tap, Cameron will have no qualms about waving bye-bye to Clegg.
Labour It is without a doubt that Labour will be seizing the 2015 election as an opportunity to climb back into favour with Britain’s youth. Whilst the Tories have royally pissed off students with a hike in tuition fees and a growing divide between rich and poor, Lib Dems will have to work twice as hard to regain a fraction of any trust previously held in first-time voters. Expect major swotting up and sucking up to come from Miliband in the party’s appeal to students in 2015. The manifesto is set to resemble a satirical list of everything the party feels has been undone in the past few years of a Tory stronghold. All free schools opened in the last five years will be promised to be closed, whilst all public-spending cuts the party opposed will be entirely reversed. With a national swing of only 1.75% needed for an overall majority in the polls, election victory for Miliband looks likely in 2015. If the next election lives up to the current state of the polls, Cameron may well be left wishing his daughter had left him in the car.
Liberal Democrats The manifesto for the next election is already under way. Probably because it’s going to take some serious graft to pull together something which recaptures the trust of Britain’s pitchfork-wielding nation of students. Last year, Nick Clegg spontaneously published a broadcast humbly apologising for everything he’d done since the coalition came into power. Or rather, what he hadn’t done. The Lib Dems’ focus in 2015 will similarly be to distance themselves from any previous con-
viction of Clegg being a Tory in disguise. Expect to see the two parties moving in directions that aren’t dissimilar from arguing couples on Jeremy Kyle adjusting the sofa chairs to opposite sides of the stage. The party’s manifesto, which is being written by formerly expenses-disgraced MP David Laws, will plan to funnel more aid into Britain’s state schools. This strategy aims to introduce more students using the state system to academically catch up with those using private education. Fascination surrounding the diversity, or perhaps nondiversity, of Oxbridge and Russell Group universities such as Newcastle may be hush-hushed by more state school students being encouraged to go on to higher education.
The Courier
springspecial.3
Tuesday 12 March 2013
Spring has sprung: the science of regeneration With the arrival of spring comes an abundance of new life, but Mother Nature has a few more exciting tricks up her sleeve than leaves coming back on trees. Lizzie Hampson takes a look at some of the weirdest regenerative powers in the natural world Unless you’re a Doctor Who fan, I doubt the word “regeneration” will evoke much excitement in you, and you’d be forgiven for thinking it is barely as exciting as it sounds. Boring name aside, regeneration is possibly one of the strangest and most fascinating phenomena in science, it includes; immortal lobsters, babies re-growing fingertips and a whole lot of weird and amazing regenerative medicine.
What is regeneration? Simply put, regeneration is the ability to regrow or resynthesize body tissue lost by trauma, disease or other unfortunate means. Most of us will have heard about a salamander’s ability to regrow its tail if it gets yanked of by an insolent child but it doesn’t stop there - the seemingly mundane salamander can also reproduce whole arms, legs, pretty much any body part within days of their amputation. It’s therefore understandable why specialist doctors and The Lizard from Spiderman have dedicated their lives to harnessing the regenerating power of these impressive reptiles.
an easy life they could happily live forever. This is all well and good for lobsters, but what about us humans? We know we definitely don’t possess the lobster’s ability to never age or all anti-ageing products would be off the shelves, but do we have any ability to regenerate?
Babies While a human baby is in the womb, the loss of an extremity doesn’t matter as it can simply be grown back without any scar tissue, much like the salamander. Even for a very short period of time after birth, neonates can sometimes re-grow tips of fingers. As adults, this skill leaves us and we are left only being able to regenerate parts of our kidneys which have been damaged or removed - helpful, but not very exciting. It doesn’t seem fair that we can’t just grow another arm if we ever need it but it is thought that it is more viable for human life to form scar tissue as it is a faster process than growing a whole arm and therefore stops bleeding
and infection sooner. However, this doesn’t mean that we have simply given up on regeneration being useful to humans. Utilising what we know about regeneration from other animals, regenerative medicine has been able to grow heart valves, ears, windpipes and breasts to name a few. So next time you think about regeneration, don’t just think about Doctor Who because once again, real life science has proven to be weirder and more wonderful.
Immortal lobsters Now, if you think salamanders are as impressive as it gets, then think again - the creature with possibly the most mind-blowing, confusing and slightly scary ability to regenerate is the lobster. These large crustaceans are thought to be able to live indefinitely barring disease, injury, capture or anything else which would take their lives. Scientists think this is down to the lobster’s ability to ‘regenerate’ cells in their bodies due to the enzyme telomerase. In fact, unlike humans and most other living things, lobsters may become more fertile the older they get displaying negligible senescence (never showing signs of ageing). So whilst lobsters aren’t exactly “immortal” as the internet would suggest, it is generally agreed that given
The Doctor returns to cure Easter boredom
Forget the chocolate - Editor Ben Travis talks about his most anticipated Easter treat, the return of Doctor Who The Easter holidays coming around signifies three main things: a well-timed and much-needed break from education, the prospect of eating numerous all-too-hollow chocolate eggs, and most excitingly of all the return of everyone’s favourite time-hopping intergalactic traveller to our TV screens, as Doctor Who re-materialises into the Saturday night schedule. You’d be forgiven for thinking that sentence was directed predominantly to children aged 5-12, but the truth is that the appeal of The Doctor, the TARDIS, heck, even K9, remains with many uni students - closeted or otherwise. Not only is it the longest-running sci-fi show on the small screen, it tends to bring higher levels of devotion from its older fans than their kids (who many would claim it is truly aimed at). The show’s return at Easter always feels highly appropriate - not only is regeneration a prominent theme in the show’s narrative and format, the adventurous spirit and generally prevalent optimism found in Doctor Who coincides rather aptly with the emergence of spring. These regenerative qualities are almost certainly what have kept the show going this long - on a practical level, the ability to change the central cast member and explain it away with a quick bit of sci-fi logic dialogue ensures a constant refresher whenever things get a bit stagnant. And it’s not only the Doctor himself who changes - ooh, here comes a new companion! Oh, they’ve changed the decor in the TARDIS! Ah, his sonic screwdriver’s all green and claw-y now! As executive producers and actors come and go, the tone of the show is able to shift to whatever seems appropriate for the current generation. On a weekly basis, the possibilities of moving in time and space opens endless options for where and when an episode is set - one week the gang are in the far future witnessing the destruction of the Earth, the next they’re meeting
Dickens and encountering zombies in Victorian London. It’s an inexhaustible, constantly renewable format. Change and evolution is arguably a key to the quality of the show too - since it returned in its current 45-minute Saturday night format back in 2005, a rotating roster of Doctors and companions has meant that every series brings with it a new main character. That is, excepting Series 6 which saw a second 13-episode run for Matt Smith’s Doctor travelling alongside Amy Pond and Rory - easily the weakest season since the reboot. Coincidence? Perhaps. So where does that leave us for this Easter? Well, Matt Smith is still here doing a brilliant job of acting like an old, troubled, tortured grump stuck in the body of a young, coffee-addicted, man-child (BETTER THAN TENNANT, sorry/not sorry, nerds). However, the second half of Series 7 (the first half aired at the beginning of the 2012 Autumn schedule and was generally very, very good) brings a new companion, the mysterious Clara/ Oswin (Jenna-Louise Coleman), first seen as a soufflé-loving woman trapped in a ‘60s-esque room in series opener ‘Asylum of the Daleks’, with a shocking twist revealing her to unknowingly be a Dalek. Who then died. How’s that for an unconventional entrance? She also played a prominent role in the 2012 Christmas Special ‘The Snowmen’, this time turning up as a new incarnation of the same character in a Victorian mansion. Who then died. Again. It’s become a Steven Moffat trait, having unconventional female characters – take Amy Pond, the girl with the crack in her bedroom wall who, due to various time-jumps ended up befriending her sort-of-Time-Lord daughter who was actually older than her and technically the Doctor’s wife… like I said, Series 6 all got a bit convoluted (and a bit rubbish). And then there’s Pond’s daughter
herself, River Song, The Doctor’s most recent love interest whose final encounter with The Doctor was actually his first encounter with her. Overall, in Moffat’s era as executive producer, it’s not too surprising that Clara has only been in two episodes, turned out to be a Dalek in one, and died in both. What remains to be seen is how Moffat will tie it all together. What else have we got to look forward to? Well, due to a lack of my own personal TARDIS it’s
difficult to know for sure, but much-loved fantasy writer Neil Gaiman is back after providing a stellar episode last series, we’re promised an epic exploration into the heart of the TARDIS, an adventure on a Russian submarine, and the return of the Cybermen. Oh, and The Doctor has a new suit! New suits are cool. Whatever else is going on on 30 March, when it gets to tea-time, the kids can shove off. I’m sitting and watching Doctor Who.
4.springspecial The Ultimate Revision Playlist Now spring has sprung, a new playlist is in order. However, spring brings with it more dreaded deadlines and dissertations. Combat your boredom with these 10 hand-picked tunes
1. The Mountain Goats ‘This Year’ Let’s be fair here, revision sucks. There’s always something better you could be doing, like pairing socks or watching paint dry. The Mountain Goats know that, and with a nicely paced track to keep you going, and a chorus that rings out “I am going to make it through this year, if it kills me”, it can be just that little added persuasion you need to hear to grind your way through another chapter.
2. Dredg ‘Matroshka’
Is ambience your thing? ‘Matroshka’ is a track to unwind you without sending you into a musical daze. Atmospheric raindrops fall in the background of a comforting alt-rock offering, with soothing vocals and a tempo just enough to keep you focused on your reading. Ambience doesn’t have to come from electronica, just like you don’t have to be a robot to digest your revision.
3. D-12 ‘Fight Music’ Not everyone finds ambience the right balance for studying; sometimes it needs to be that little bit more intense to psych you up into that ‘knuckledown’ attitude. ‘Fight Music’ does a great job of mixing a deep hip-hop beat with lyrics not quite catchy enough to end up ringing around your head at a time when you need to concentrate. It’s dark and it’s intense, perfect for getting you into your zone.
4. Frou Frou ‘Let Go’ It’s poppy and it’s fun. It isn’t annoying, so it won’t run around your head turning you into a popbrained goldfish and best of all it brightens your day. What more could you want from a revision song? Featuring the gorgeous voice of Imogen Heap, ‘Let Go’ will keep you smiling when everything around you may seem drab and dull. If music could be colourful, this would be a rainbow.
5. Deftones ‘Minerva’ For those who like their music to be that little bit angrier, ‘Minerva’ isn’t aggressive enough to make you want to tear the textbook you’ve had your nose in for the last three days in two. It does a great job of picking you back up, letting you exhale, and plough on. Angry music doesn’t have to be for angry people, but sometimes that little bit of venting helps when you need it most.
Tuesday 12 March 2013
The Courier
Culturally bloom in 2013 Now that the evenings are getting lighter and the weather’s getting warmer (only slightly though, it’s still Newcastle), it’s safe to climb out of hibernation and head back out into the Toon. But what to do with this new lease of life and a whole month with no lectures? Try out some of these cultural institutions
The Sage Gateshead If you’re a fan of music and are looking to escape the thud of Newcastle’s nightlife, The Sage Gateshead is the ideal venue to explore. The highlight event of the venue’s calendar is the Gateshead International Jazz Festival from 5-7 April, which welcomes a variety of acts and includes some free performances.
Tyneside Cinema
Newcastle’s city centre boasts the wonderful independent Tyneside Cinema, which has some great screenings lined up this spring. With a schedule boasting big blockbusters, such as Lincoln and Hitchcock, as well as some smaller films and alternative cultural activities, it’s a great place to while away an afternoon. Check online to see what’s on: https://www.tynesidecinema.co.uk/
Star & Shadow Cinema
The volunteer-run, small cinema by the Byker Bridge offers an interesting variety of art-films, gigs, stand-up comedy nights and even a storytelling party - if you haven’t been yet, seize the chance this Spring! Check out www.starandshadow.org. uk to see their upcoming showings and events.
On campus
Looking for more inspiration on campus? The uni offers a wide range of free talks, lectures and live music events, which are well worth taking advantage of. Check out the Newcastle Centre for Literary Arts’ website for upcoming events including poetry and creative writing evenings: http://www. ncl.ac.uk/ncla/ Lidan Deng
Class of ‘13: Who’s who in Arts
With the year now well underway, Arts Editor Lisa Bernhardt gives you her tips for 2013 Predicting an artist’s success is always a tricky business, yet seemingly every newspaper, website or other form of commentary platform is cluttered with ‘Ones to Watch’ lists at the beginning of each year. Sometimes they’re right and recommend great up-and-coming talents, other times not so much. A few months into 2013, here is a review of The Independent’s guesses of who might be ‘hot’ (potentially) in the world of art this year.
Comedy: Holly Burn A reviewer called her a “deranged Geordie who appears to have carried on partying when Keith Richards called it a night” which sounds like a pretty accurate description of a Saturday night on Bigg Market. And unfortunately, character comedian Holly Burn’s performances (at least the ones found on YouTube) are equally (not) funny, despite the raving reviews. Her performance mocking overly sexualised display of femininity called ‘Sexy’ is supposed to be subversive, but mostly looks weird and makes it seem as if she’s trying too hard.
Classical Music: Ryan Wigglesworth Composer/conductor wunderkid Ryan does not only have a hilarious surname, but also an impressive CV. He worked for the BBC Proms and the BBC Symphony Orchestra, written choral scores for Oxbridge colleges and worked with orchestras all over the world. Orchestra concerts might not be everyone’s cuppa tea, but if you’re a classical music enthusiast make sure you don’t miss his season highlights this year including collaboration with the London Philharmonic Orchestra and the Deutsches Symphonie Orchester.
Dance: Maureya Lebowitz Born in the USA, Maureya is said to be the next big thing in the world of ballet, not just thanks to her memorable name. Ever since joining the Bir-
mingham Royal Ballet in 2011, her swift technique and eye-catching performances have gained the critics’ attention and applause. In case you wan to convince yourself of her potential, the BRB will visit the Sunderland Empire 14-16 March on the occasion of its national Aladdin tour.
Visual Arts: Laure Prouvost The great things about video installations is that they can capture the viewer’s attention like a film can but without taking ages to be watched. However, and this is probably the main problem most people will have with them and contemporary art in general, it’s not always clear what they’re about. Laure Prouvost aims at questioning the use of language in her many of her work by withholding a narrative; you can check out her work for yourself if your up for a visual challenge at www. laureprouvost.com.
Theatre: Tom Wells Anyone who manages to write a heart-warming and award-winning play about the town of Withernsea on the coast of East Yorkshire deserves our respect. Tom Wells’s The Kitchen Sink got a rare 5 star review from The Telegraph, so there’s a lot to expect from the upcoming tour of his play Jumpers for Goalposts. Starting his career with a writing workshop, as mundane as it sounds, seemed to be a good idea; his Oxford degree in English might have helped as well.
Books: Taiye Selasi Taiye Selasi is a true cosmopolitan character who is rooted all over the world. Being of Nigerian and Ghanaian origin, born in London and raised on Boston, she writes about African Diasporas in a unique and informed voice. Her book Ghana Must Go, due to be released in April, has already caused a stir amongst critics that matches her reportedly charismatic and extravagant personality. And Arts Editor, Millie Walton recommends you keep your eyes peeled for…
Playwright: Nassim Soleimanpour Nassim Soleimanpour has already attracted a huge amount of attention for his unique and bizarre play White Rabbit, Red Rabbit, which demands a different actor reads the script cold every night on stage. The idea was to create a play, which could travel the world without him (Soleimanpour was forbidden a passport for refusing to do national service), but the author has just been granted a passport after being diagnosed with an eye disorder so that he can follow in the successful path of his writing. Soleimanpour is set to redefine our notion of theatre with his next project rumoured to use the audience as its cast. In an effort to connect with his viewers, the playwright urges you to drop him an email (nassim.sn@gmail.com), find him on Facebook and follow him on twitter (@ soleimanpour).
78.75 - 64.25
STAN CALVERT
2013
2.StanCalvert
Tuesday 12 March 2013
The Courier
Powerful Poly show Stan Calvert Cup 2013
MEN’S RUGBY UNION Newcastle 1sts
14
Northumbria 1sts
30
By Ralph Blackburn Sports Editor Despite losing the Stan Calvert Cup, Northumbria triumphed in the showpiece event in arctic conditions at Kingston Park last Sunday. Northumbria asserted themselves early on in each half, and despite a spirited comeback leading to two Newcastle tries at the end of each half, the Poly’s points total was too much to overcome, and they ran out deserved winners. The game started scrappily, with Northumbria consistently offending at the breakdown, however Newcastle were unable to capitalise as most of the offenses were out of kickable range. Newcastle’s line out was uncharacteristically dysfunctional; they won only two of their six first half line outs, considerably blunting the amount of territory they accumulated. Northumbria’s mammoth pack began to force Newcastle back down the pitch, however they continued to infringe at the breakdown meaning breaks by scrum half Sam Ash and 120 kilogram number eight Finlay Coxon Smith came to little. Newcastle’s leaky line out in part lead to the opening try of the match. After a pressure throw on the Royals’ five metre line failed to go to hand, Northumbria steadily built pressure and fly half Toby East, who missed the whole of last season injured, stepped back inside his man and slid over under the posts. East, under a cacophony of boos from the volatile Posh crowd, succumbed to the pressure and smashed his kick straight against the upright. Northumbria upped the pressure and Alex Hind, who had been out for a while with a hand injury, dropped a catch. After a poor clearance was sliced into touch on the full, East made another break and Newcastle gave away the penalty. East had a chance to atone for his earlier error, however profuse booing, obscenities, and a strong gust of wind meant he pulled his kick to the left. Newcastle’s line out woes continued and after Northumbria once again conceded a penalty, yet despite Cook’s massive touch finder the line out was once again lost and Northumbria were able to clear. At this point, halfway through the first half, hail began to rain down on the pitch in a post apocalyptic manner, which made flowing rugby fairly tricky. Northumbria again built phases on the Newcastle line, regularly timing passes to perfection bringing momentum to their attacks. Poly full back Adam King, who was playing in his first start since November, nearly snuck in in the corner but just got forced into touch. Newcastle
once again lost the line out, and after the keeping the ball in the forwards, Northumbria centre Kevin McLean barged his way over the line. East’s nerves had calmed and he slotted the ball over the posts to take Northumbria to a 12-0 lead. The Royals’ finally began to build some concerted pressure as the half came to a close, with Johnny Burn’s grubber kick nearly putting Jack Cook through. After this break, Tom Banks’ offload sparked an Ali Banton charge. Newcastle continually broke the gain line, before Matt Proctor charged under the posts, and Cook made no mistake with the conversion sparking scenes of jubilation and violence amongst the Posh supporters. As both teams ran out for the second half, the snow was so heavy that it was almost impossible for supporters to see the far side of the pitch. The first score of the half was key, and the Royals gave themselves a mountain to climb, as after East slotted a penalty, Newcastle centre Ioan Davies was sent to the bin. Newcastle’s lack of numbers caught them out several minutes later, when after Northumbria effected a quick turnover, a kick into the Newcastle half led to a Northumbria score, with scrum half Ash being the first to touch down the ball over the line. Northumbria continued to press the Newcastle line, and as with the first half, Newcastle left it too late before start-
ing to play. After almost ten minutes of 5-metre scrums, and an intense physical battle, Newcastle desperately flicked the ball out of the maul, and the referee awarded a penalty try. Once again the Royals only started playing once the game was almost out of their reach, and after a kick was charged down, the impressive fresher Tom Banks, who has moved from 3rds to 1sts in the space of six months, kept up quick ball and fed replacement hooker Ibi Fashawe who charged over. Cook added the extras to leave it at 30-14 to Northumbria with ten minutes to play. Within a minute of the try Harry Bate, Newcastle’s blindside, made a blistering 60 metre break down the middle of the pitch, bringing the members of the crowd not about to break out into a fight to their feet. Northumbria were caught offside, and after an excellent kick to the Northumbria 5 metre line, Newcastle’s line out worked perfectly, and Bate who started the move charged to the line only to undeservedly get held up just short. Sadly Newcastle ran out of time to put themselves back in contention, and just before the full time whistle the customary fight broke out. Whilst the scuffle had nothing on the Men’s Rugby League’s 1sts thirty man brawl, it still saw Jo Beckett and Northumbria tight head Oli Longmore headed for the bin with seconds left on the clock.
King
Weightmen Martin
Grimes
McLean East
Ash
Coxon Smith
Scott-Paul Pette
Longmore
Schofield (c)
Newcastle and Northumbria rise for a line out Photography: Jack Gelsthorpe
Dannatt
Entressengle
Troke
WHAT THE STATS SAY Banton
Proctor
Wrem
Kitching
Camara Alston
Bate
Hind T Banks Burn Davis
Illingworth
Beckett (c) Harding
Despite repeated infringements around the ruck area by Northumbria, as shown by conceding almost double the number of penalties as Newcastle, the Royals were unable to capitalise as seen by only having a 50% success rate in their line out. This was key to the outcome of the match, as in the second half when the Newcastle line out began functioning, Northumbria were already out of sight.
Cook
HOW IT UNFOLDED: Photography (L-R): Michael Oakes, Best Photo9raphy, NUBC
17th Feb Newcastle get the competition off to a great start with a comprehensive win in the American Football
Penalties conceded 6
11
Newcastle
Northumbria
The Courier
StanCalvert.3
Tuesday 12 March 2013
Poly shade NWR passion Stan Calvert Cup 2013
WOMEN’S RUGBY UNION Newcastle 1sts
5
Northumbria 1sts
17
By Jennifer Evans at Druid Park In wintery conditions on the 4G pitch at Druid Park, Northumbria women’s rugby union team beat Newcastle 17-5 in what was billed as ‘the game of the season’. After a great season for NWR finishing mid-table in their first season in the Premiership, and with Northumbria winning promotion to the Premiership this season, both teams’ expectations were high. Northumbria were the first to score
with a somewhat underwhelming forwards try inside the first four minutes and the conversion quickly followed. Northumbria dominated territory with Newcastle only advancing significantly into their 22 after 27 minutes of play. With the referee penalising Newcastle multiple times for holding on to the ball, the pace was slow. Thirty minutes saw another try from Northumbria, but this time they failed
looking up for the Royals, with Malins and flanker Katie ‘Magic’ McEvoy making some huge hits against Northumbria’s forwards . However, it was not Newcastle’s day, and Northumbria’s forwards hammered Newcastle’s defence, scoring another try seven minutes into the second half. With ten minutes to go the Royals began to pick up the pace with some superb runs from fly-half Rosie Neal,
“With Malins back on things were looking up for the Royals, with Malins and flanker ‘Magic’ McEvoy making some huge hits” to kick the conversion. With the possibility of a victory quickly slipping away from Newcastle, captain number 8 Holly Malins was sin binned just before half time for holding on, an unpopular decision with the NWR crowd. In the second half, Northumbria failed to take advantage of their extra player and with Malins back on things were
inside-centre Lucy Henson and McEvoy eventually resulting in Newcastle’s one and only try from prop Charlotte Flint. Into the dying minutes, Northumbria were content to wind down the clock and the whistle sealed an historic victory for Northumbria, let’s hope in the rematches next season Newcastle are on better form!
Invincible Owls undone Stan Calvert Cup 2013
RUGBY LEAGUE 1sts Newcastle 1sts
16
Northumbria 1sts
32
By Chris Griffiths at Druid Park
Lineouts 6
5
Lost
Scrums 6
5
Lost
Lost
5
6
Won
Won
Northumbria
Newcastle
3rd Mar Newcastle continue to dominate by winning both the Waterpolo fixtures
NURL 1sts and 2nds suffered a rare double defeat at the hands of two spirited Northumbria sides. The unbeaten first team went into their varsity fixture brimming with confidence to play a Poly team who they knew would be extremely well drilled. In a pulsating and hard hitting encounter, with players being continually smashed backwards, the Poly scored a shock upset under the faltering floodlights on a chilly Druid Park 4G surface. An early try, surprisingly from top try scorer George Matthew saw the Owls take an early lead. However, from the following kick off Northumbria began to take a hold on the game. Uncharacteristic penalties given by the peanut headed referee led to North-
umbria crashing over for a converted try and from there they kicked on to victory. Greek god Andreas Methenitis worked tirelessly in midfield alongside partner in crime Harry Rigby, but this wasn’t enough for NURL to gain control in the game. Dan Capaross ran his hardest eventually knocking himself out joining hooker Matt Woods in seeing stars and forgetting everything about the game. This report will now break both their hearts in seeing we got beat and neither of them scored hat tricks. With numerous players bowing out in their final Stan Calvert, the game could not be finished with a straight forward narrow defeat: the Owls’ big mouthed prop Conor Ellison took it upon himself to initiate a 26 man brawl. In an attempt to make a ‘bad day at the office’ somewhat enjoyable, all participated in a good old fashioned biff. Cards of all colours were dished out in the aftermath by the referee meaning the AU’s most beloved finished with just eleven men, with captain Griffiths seeing red. Once again league champions and once again established as one of the top four teams in the country soon takes the edge off a day to forget. A semi-final against Leeds Met on Wednesday will see the boys in blue attempt to further enhance what has already been a fantastic season.
Lost
5
6
Won
Won
Northumbria
Newcastle
4th Mar Northumbria get a foothold in the competition with a 5-1 victory in women’s football.
Newcastle and Northumbria contest a scrum under the lights at Druid Park Photography: Ralph Blackburn
6th Mar Honours are shared in the men’s cricket, however Newcastle clean sweeps the Rowing
Stan Calvert Cup 2013
RUGBY LEAGUE 2nds Newcastle 2nds
4
Northumbria 2nds 36 By Chris Griffiths at Bullocksteads The 2nds put in a valiant effort against a very strong Poly outfit with NURL bad boy Frank Bagley leading from the front with a bruising display earning him man of the match. Edgy fresher Matt Fry also performed well, clinically finishing everything that came his way, apart from dropping it over the line, a moment to forget. An impressive display from Matty O’Neil defensively with centres Dan Shortman and John Portsmouth taking no backwards steps in attack led to NURL having some promising phases, but Northumbria proved too much for the death machine to handle. A third place finish in the league, a good cup run and Tommy Schoefield putting a big shot on in their final game, the 2s can look back at their season with a smile as wide as Conor Ellison’s waist.
4.stancalvert
Tuesday 12 March 2013
Firsts secure famous victory over rivals Stan Calvert Cup 2013
MEN’S FOOTBALL
Newcastle 1sts
2
Northumbria 1sts
1
By Carlos Manrique at Longbenton Newcastle’s men’s 1sts football team achieved one of the finest victories of the Stan Calvert cup against their heavily favoured local rivals Northumbria, at Longbenton last Thursday evening. Substitute Adam Ball scored a last minute winner sparking scenes of jubilation on the Royals bench. Newcastle, entering the game a division below the Northumbria 1sts, anchored in the relegation zone with only one win in ten games, were seen as considerable underdogs. Newcastle however traditionally punch above their weight in this fixture, and on a packed 3G it was to be no different. The game started as one would expect a derby to start, with high pressure
on the ball, and few clear-cut chances. Newcastle the were the more offensive side, however Northumbria’s well drilled defense stood strong with the only chance for the Royals coming from a corner. As the second half started the tempo increased. Newcastle suffered a majorsetback when captain Alex Auld spent five minutes on the ground nursing a head injury, before finally being replaced by Danny Knowles. Despite a bloodied nose, Auld shouted his team on from the sidelines and was instru-
The Courier
The football 1st XI pose for a team photo after their monumental result Photography: Fraser Kennedy
sion became palpable, however Newcastle still had the majority of the play. After several missed chances, substitute Adam Ball, who had replaced Tom Stapleton up top, finished calmly to see the Newcastle bench erupt in joy. After extensive celebrations and a few cagey minutes at the end, the referee sounded the final whistle to the relief of the home support. Newcastle secured a valuable two points towards their Stan Calvert total, which in a year when the swing was a mere five events, ensured the trophy stayed in the blue half on Newcastle.
“Despite suffering a head injury, Auld shouted his team on from the sidelines and was instrumental in spurring his team to victory” mental in spurring them on to victory. Shortly after this Northumbria took the lead, from a tight decision by the linesman. The Royals however did not get fazed, and stayed calm to draw level minutes later. After Jake Salisbury had a peach of a goal bizarrely ruled out for a previous free kick, James Swainston did not let this deter him, and after his original effort hit the wall smashed the rebound into the net. As the minutes ticked over the ten-
Particular credit must go to both goalkeepers, who performed minor miracles to keep the goal count at only three. When brawls and stand offs were seen across the city, the game was played in the good spirit that football is all about. Newcastle starting team: Irvine; Dhugga, Okokwo, Auld (c), Pilkington; Goodier, Sexton, Salisbury, Walkin, Swainston; Stapleton. Subs: Knowles; Wheeler; Ball
Seconds cruelly beaten in Stan Calvert Stan Calvert Cup 2013
MEN’S FOOTBALL
Newcastle 2nds
4
Northumbria 2nds 5 By Nick Gabriel at Longbenton A stoppage time penalty from Northumbria ultimately decided an enthralling encounter on the Longbenton 3G, as Newcastle’s 2nd XI slipped to a cruel 5-4 defeat in what was undoubtedly one of the sporting highlights of the Stan Calvert weekend. In a captivating affair that had a real old-fashioned cup tie feel to it, it was Northumbria’s Jamie Quinn who stepped up to slot home the injury time spot-kick, after forward Ben Clark had been brought down when trying to round Uni. goalkeeper Scott Rawson. In the wake of Newcastle 1st’s win over Northumbria on the Thursday night, the Royals undoubtedly would have been hopeful of following in the wake
7th Mar Despite Northumbria winning both the volleyball fixtures, Newcastle strike back in the men’s football 1sts
of their seniors’ success in springing a surprise result on their local rival. Newcastle were slow out of the traps however, and were punished for their lack of attentiveness when they fell behind with less than 10 minutes played. It was undoubtedly an extremely soft goal to concede, as Northumbria’s left-winger Johnny Wright was left completely unmarked at the back post to a nod a floated cross home from 5 yards out. The Royals did offer a response soon after, as powerful left-footed effort from Henry Scutt stung the palms of Poly goalkeeper Mike Hughes. Northumbria however continued to threaten. Only a trademark last-ditch block from centre-half Eddy Holden prevented Clark from doubling his side’s advantage, after the striker had been played through on goal. After a string of narrow escapes for the Royals, with Poly centre-half George Foster and Clarke once more both guilty of missing decent chances for the away side, against the run of play Newcastle levelled proceedings. On this occasion, a clipped ball into the box from Joe Watson was well controlled by Alex Ames, who then proceeded to swivel and smash the ball past the motionless Hughes to level the contest. Visibly buoyed by the equaliser, Newcastle took the lead with five minutes of the half remaining. Ames was once
more at the heart of the move, picking the ball up wide on the left-hand side and beginning his descent on the away goal. The tricky winger skipped past the full-back before playing a neat one-two with the lively Robbie Sweet before opening up his body and steering the ball home in off the far post with minimal backlift – a true Thierry Henry trademark finish. However with the interval looming, the Royals were unable to show the composure and ability to control the game that would enable them to see out the narrow advantage until the halftime break. Northumbria’s left-hand side proved to be the proverbial thorn in Newcastle’s side once again, as a neat move down that side made space for swashbuckling full-back Dec Doherty to be played in and slide the ball home past the onrushing Rawson. The second half began with the Royals once again starting slowly, as they found themselves 4-2 down within 10 minutes of the restart. First, the Poly regained the lead following an impressive piece of hold up play by Clark. Using his strength to wait for the runners, a neat through ball down Newcastle’s leftsided channel rolled beautifully into the path of Rich Lally. The Northumbria skipper then showed great composure to hold off the
8th Mar Northumbria take the men’s 1sts basketball, however Newcastle clean sweep the hockey.
challenge of the retreating defender, before tucking the ball into the corner of the net. Things got worse for the Royals soon after, as Northumbria’s left-side of Doherty and Wright combined well yet again to create a pocket of space for a low cross across the 6-yard box. Substitute Tito Davison was rewarded for being the only attacking player to gamble at making a move towards the back stick, and was consequently able to guide the ball home. A string of heavy challenges from both sides followed, eventually culminating in a bout of handbags between Newcastle’s Holden and Northumbria’s Mike Byram. With the referee clearly eager to stamp his authority on the game and prevent things from boiling over, both players were subsequently given their marching orders. The red card for Newcastle triggered some activity in the Newcastle dugout, as the Royals went to three at the back whilst, at the other end of the pitch, Chris Fraser came on to replace the tireless David Colpitts. The forward was beginning to look a bit leggy having ploughed a lone furrow for much of the second period. The change paid immediate dividends, as Fraser got himself on the scoresheet mere minutes after entering the fray. There was undoubtedly a huge amount
9th Mar
of fortune about the goal, as a deep cross from Scutt seemed to be safely floating into the hands of Hughes. However, inexplicably the keeper managed to spill the ball into the path of the lurking Fraser, who then had the simplest of tasks of rolling the ball into the unguarded net. The unexpected goal appeared to revitalize the previously flagging Royals as they began to lay siege to the Northumbria goal. It came as little surprise therefore when the equaliser arrived soon after. On this occasion, a set piece from the right-hand side was wonderfully whipped in from Sweet, bouncing once inside the six-yard box, before nestling in the far corner of the goal. Despite any number of Newcastle players claiming it was they who got the decisive touch, slow motion replays showed it to have gone straight in direct from the freekick, its path undisturbed. The equaliser set the game up for a grandstand finish, with both sides desperate to grab the crucial Stan Calvert points. First, Scutt saw his cross-come-shot fumbled nervously around the post by Hughes, before a Lampard-esque late run into the box from Sweet was picked out with a neat cutback, but the playmaker guided his effort too close to Hughes who was able to parry the ball
10th Mar
The points are shared in the As Sunday begins Newcascross country. tle are 27-19 to the good. Photography (L-R): Lucy Williams, Jack Mackenzie
The Courier
stancalvert.5
Tuesday 12 March 2013
Thirds outclassed by Poly Stan Calvert Cup 2013
MEN’S FOOTBALL
Newcastle 3rds
1
Northumbria 3rds
7
By Tom Nicholson at Longbenton In arctic conditions at Longbenton, Northumbria brushed aside the challenge of a rather inept Newcastle team who froze both metaphorically and literally under the intense pressure which only a Stan Calvert cup tie can bring. For long periods the game was strongly reminiscent of the scene in The Simpsons in which Homer beats seven shades out of an actor playing the Hamburglar while a small boy in the crowd cries, “stop... stop, he’s already dead.” The contest – and I use the word ‘contest’ in the loosest possible sense – began cagily for Newcastle, with Northumbria monopolising possession and the Royals looking to play on the break through Dhan Hussain on the right wing. However, poor passing in all areas of the pitch and vigorous pressing on the part of the Northumbria forwards and midfielders kept Newcastle on the back foot, and it was the former problem which put Newcastle behind after 22 minutes. An attempted clearance from the right-
back position dropped straight at the feet of a Northumbria midfielder who slipped it through to Ben Jefferson, who in turn finished calmly from ten yards out. Barely three minutes later Northumbria had the ball in the net again, but the goal was ruled out for offside. Newcastle failed to make the most of this reprieve, however, and Northumbria scored two goals in as many minutes just after the half hour mark: the first was a beautifully arced shot into the top-right corner from the left-hand corner of the box by Liam Robson, the second a tapped-in rebound after Newcastle goalkeeper Zhulian Genev had acrobatically tipped a long-range shot onto the bar.
Sunday, Newcastle, and substitute Max O’Collins in particular, started the second half with more purpose. However, outstanding work in the centre of the Northumbria defence left the Newcastle strikers little to feed on, particularly with little support from midfield to help them. Northumbria’s fourth goal, blasted in over Genev’s head from 15 yards, was therefore something of an inevitability. Hopes of a Newcastle comeback were briefly stoked in the 75th minute when James Arden-Bowden nodded in from at close range from a corner, but before the Newcastle fans had time to complete a celebratory Mexican wave Northumbria forward Luke Wilson had broken
“The game was reminiscent of the scene in the Simpsons when Homer beats seven shades out of an actor playing the ‘Hamburglar’, while a small boy in the crowd cried “stop... stop, he’s already dead” At half-time there were rumblings from the Newcastle bench that there were “too many Quavers” making up the team, the snack-based comparison referring to the fact that the Northumbria team breezed through ineffectual challenges far too easily all game long rather than Newcastle’s high calorie content or delicious cheesy flavour. After a teamtalk which was equal parts hairdryer treatment and Al Pacino in Any Given
away and cracked a 20-yard drive into the bottom corner. Five minutes later, Jefferson strode onto a through ball and stroked the ball into the bottom left-hand corner, causing his manager to dissolve into peals of maniacal laughter. Jefferson completed his hat-trick with a 20-yard free-kick, immediately after which the referee took pity on Newcastle and drew proceedings to a close.
classic Royals slip to crushing defeat to safety. However with the spoils seemingly set to be shared, the Poly cruelly nicked the win deep into injury time through Gunn’s imperturbable spot-kick. Man of the Match: Robbie Sweet
Stan Calvert Cup 2013
WOMEN”S FOOTBALL Newcastle 1sts
1
Northumbria 1sts
5
Rawson
Southgate
Holden
Norman
Spencer
Watson
Scutt
Wilson
Ames
Sweet Colpitts Clark
Foster
Thompson Doherty
Lally
Byram
Wright
Brown
Foster
Arms
Hughes
12.36 PM The netball 4ths start the day in fine style for Uni, winning 49-21.
By Helen Palfrey at Coach Lane After last year’s shock Stan Calvert win for the 1sts, the pressure was on for a repeat performance. Tensions were running high, with the Poly playing on their home turf. This was made apparent by the abundance of chanting Poly supporters. However the Royals were not perturbed with their loyal fan base also getting rowdy, eager for the start of the game. A testament to both sets of fans, an electric atmosphere hung in the air in anticipation of kick off. With everything to prove and nothing to lose the Royals made a fantastic start to the game dominating the middle of the park, with Victoria Scott particularly strong. The Poly, stunned by the confidence and audacity of the Roy-
als, struggled to string together three passes. Newcastle looked promising as they continued to settle nicely into the game, and were able to move forward finding the feet of outstanding attacking duo Esme Richards and Lizzy Campbell, both of whom linked up well throughout. The first real chance of the game came from some beautiful link up play between Campbell and Richards who was then unlucky not to put the ball away. Instead a weak clearance from the Poly back four meant that Lucy Crann was able to strike the ball sweetly, first time, sending it soaring into the top corner
Lauren Millar easily scooped any up of the Poly’s chances. Unfortunately the long balls kept coming and the Royals were crucified by a 40 yard strike into the top corner to bring the Poly level. Northumbria then continued to pepper the box with long range shorts which were easily dealt with by Millar. The Royals struggled to regain control of the game with the Poly attacking from the back all the way through the field. Coming up to the half time break the Royals frustrations began to show and aggression levels began to rise. However this was not matched by Northumbria who seemed determined to win every free kick possible with some very dubi-
“A testament to both sets of fans, an electric atmosphere hung in the air in anticipation of kick-off ” from 35 yards out. The goal was met by a chorus of joyous cheers from the Royal’s fans spurring them on. However, stunned by the early goal, the Poly soon upped their game. With long 50 yard balls over the top from the Poly centre back, the Royals began to look a little shaky, although unanimously voted player of the match goal keeper
13.43 PM Men’s hockey edge out Northumbria 1-0.
ous decision making from the referee and embarrassing diving. Northumbria’s second goal came from a free kick, again questionably awarded, on the edge of the 18 yard box which was impressively curled into the top corner by the Poly centre back. Disheartened by a disappointing end to the first half, to Royals upped their
game and started the second with the same determination they’d started the first. Exhausted from a backlog of BUCS and Sunday league fixtures, the Royals’ tiredness began to show as the Poly were unrelenting in the middle. Scott still managed to hold her own in the middle, occasionally finding the feet of Richards or Campbell, but Newcastle’s chances were few and far between. The same can’t be said for Northumbria whose chances in the second half were close to reaching double figures. Luckily for the Royals, Millar was on top of her game, charging off her line to throw herself at the feet of the Poly attackers, making numerous fantastic saves to keep the Royals in the game. Due to the unrelenting Northumbria attack, Newcastle started conceding corners and occasionally failed to clear their lines first time. The 3rd goal came from a corner, lofted over the penalty box and poorly dealt with by the now exhausted Royals. Frustration and tiredness began to show and the next two goals came in quick succession, from another long range shot and a dubiously awarded free kick. As the game drew to a close, the disappointed Royals held their own, refusing to give anything other than 110% effort all the way to the final whistle. Player of the Match: Lauren Millar
14.01 PM More good news from the men’s squash as they defeat Northumbria 3-0.
6.stancalvert
Tuesday 12 March 2013
The Courier
Netballers denied clean sweep NETBALL
Stan Calvert Cup 2013
Newcastle 1sts
48
Northumbria 1sts
49
By Lucy Williams at Sports Centre Last Sunday afternoon, scenes of jubilation erupted onto the court as the Newcastle 2nds emulated the 3rd and 4th teams by clinging onto the lead in their match and won narrowly with a score of 49-48. The 1sts followed for the showpiece event of the day at Newcastle University Sports Centre, and as the teams warmed up, a real sense of tension was building. There was no clear favourite for the match, as although Northern Premier side Newcastle won this Stan Calvert fixture last year and were determined to repeat this feat again, Northumbria 1sts have improved drastically and are currently sitting second in the BUCS Northern 1A division with a game in hand having impressively only lost one match out of nine this season. As the match got under way, both contingents of support were boisterous and vocal in cheering on their teams. Newcastle opened the scoring straight away much to the appreciation of the blue half of the crowd. Newcastle scored 5 nets before the Poly managed to even
get on the score sheet, and with the scoring partner duo of Emily Whiteside and Hannah Swainson looking in fine form, all signs were pointing towards a Uni win. There was some slick link-up play between WA Katie Rimmer and shooter Whiteside, which culminated in a point for Newcastle and the score stood at 9-3, a comfortable margin for Newcastle to be leading by. However, Northumbria got back into contention despite the best efforts of the Blues’ GK Helen Jones, and the first quarter finished 13-10 to Newcastle. Fresh from a team huddle, the second quarter witnessed a more aggressive Northumbria side with their GK pushing into Whiteside, which resulted in a chorus of jeering from the Newcastle support. Unaffected by the attempts at intimidation, GS Whiteside continued to score every shot she went for but the Northumbria attack were accurate too resulting in the second quarter finishing 24-24. Chants of ‘let’s go Poly let’s go’ filled the sports centre as the Poly comeback spurred on their support. The third quarter was the lowest scoring one of the match with defences of both sides playing superbly. Halfway through the quarter, the towering presence of Newcastle GD Mia Archer prevented Northumbria from taking the lead for the first time and led to a quick paced counter-attack resulting in a net for the blues and so the score stood at a close 29-28. Throughout the whole quarter, the points margin never went over three and on-point shooting at both ends saw it finish 36-35 to Newcastle. Having never been on the losing end for the first three quarters of the match, the game was Newcastle’s to be won,
yet Northumbria had other plans and the start of the fourth quarter saw the Poly go in front for the first time with the score at 37-36. There was great defensive play from Archer and Jones, and good pace from Newcastle WD Rachel Saville, but Newcastle failed to capitalise upon this play in the final third; Swainson and Whiteside were unusually failing to shoot on target, whereas Northumbria were taking their chances where they mattered, and soon the score was 48-44 to the Poly. With both benches on their feet, the noise in the hall was deafening. Centre passes were converted by both teams, but the momentum was with Northumbria and with a minute to go of the match, they were leading 49-47. The atmosphere could be cut with a knife as Swainson scored for Newcastle to bring it to within a point. It was Northumbria’s centre and with 30 seconds remaining it was to be the last one of the match. With the Poly’s excellent form in this final quarter, everyone was expecting them to convert it, however, with help from a fierce interception by Archer, Newcastle found themselves with the ball and the opportunity to complete a comeback with an equaliser. In the dying seconds of the match, Whiteside found herself with the ball and aiming for the net. In unbelievable scenes, the shooter made a rare miss under the intense pressure and the whistle blew for the end of the game. The Poly gathering stormed onto the court and the Newcastle players looked on in shock. Newcastle Centre, Alice Hagyard, who had worked tirelessly round the court, looked inconsolable; Northumbria had been chasing them the whole game, yet they had somehow managed to steal victory from
their hands. A sing-off between the two rival camps ensued with chants of ‘3-1,3-1!’ from the Newcastle players since overall it had been a successful afternoon for the NUNC, nevertheless it was bittersweet to not attain the clean sweep and allow the Poly bragging rights.
Newcastle 2nds Northumbria 2nds
49 48
Arguably the highlight of the afternoon, the 2nd teams put on a high octane display of netball. The final quarter left the support with their nerves shattered as Newcastle, possibly intimidated by the screams from the Poly bench, threw away a decent lead to bring it to within a point, but they managed to hold onto the win and undo the disappointment of a loss in last year’s Stan Calvert.
Newcastle 3rds Northumbria 3rds
1sts’ Mia Archer leaping to defend Photography: Freya Cromarty
49 46
A tense match with the shooting on both sides shining throughout. However, it was to be the Newcastle 3rds who were able to hold off a Poly comeback in the final quarter and beat them for the second year running.
Newcastle 4ths Northumbria 4ths
49 21
The first match of the day was to be the only match where the winner was never in doubt. With nearly as much as a thrity point margin, it was a comprehensive win for the Newcastle 4ths who dominated from the outset.
Lucy Tyson in action for the 2nds Photography: Freya Cromarty
Newcastle spiked by Poly volley Stan Calvert Cup 2013
WOMEN’S VOLLEYBALL Newcastle
0
Northumbria
3
By Lucy Williams at UNN Sport Central With the Northumbria men’s volleyball team currently sitting first in their BUCS division and the women’s team sitting pretty in second place, the Stan Calvert Volleyball fixture was always going to be considered a certainty for a Northumbria victory. Last Thursday evening at Sport Central, the Northumbria volleyball teams did not disappoint and showed why they were considered one of the best in the country, however Team Newcastle put up a good fight and did not allow for a complete walk-over from their varsity rivals. It was the turn of the women’s team
first, and from the outset they looked like they meant business. A volleyball match is the best out of five sets with the first four being played up to 25 points as long as there is a 2 point margin, and in the event of going to a fifth set it is played to 15 points. However, with Northumbria’s impressive form in the first set, it was clear this match was not going to require more than three sets. Northumbria’s service was just too powerful for Newcastle with many points being conceded from aces where either the ball hit the floor untouched or the returning digs caused the ball to go out of play. Newcastle’s Kjorsvik and Hardenberg managed to match up to Northumbria’s fierce attackers on a few occasions helping to earn their side some points. Yet, the first set was over in only 10 minutes with the score of 25-6 to Northumbria. The second set was a different story and the crowd witnessed a more confident Newcastle; Northumbria conceded the opening two points, and for the majority of the set the points margin was never more than four points. Newcastle did not resemble a team that was ten places below their Northumbria rivals in the Northern Women’s Volleyball BUCS league. With longer rallies and much more self- belief than the first set, Newcastle made Northumbria work harder for the
14.05 PM Northumbria are well on top in the table tennis leading 6-1, 5-0 in the men’s table tennis Photography: Ralph Blackburn
set, which they eventually won with a narrower margin of 25-16. This was to be Newcastle’s only glory of the match though with the third set more akin to the first; Newcastle’s only points were to be from Northumbria errors of serving or spiking the ball too long. Newcastle’s Adamova earned her side a rare point with an aggressive spike, but the set finished 25-8 to give Northumbria a wellearned victory of 3 sets to nil.
Stan Calvert Cup 2013
the rest of the field in their division. It was a close opening to the first set with Northumbria conceding points first, but this promising start was not to be consistent, and the first set was over quickly with a score of 25-8 to Northumbria. The second set was a closer affair with the score at one point being just 1610 to Northumbria; formidable serves from Newcastle’s Solidus and Filipe earned Newcastle points but Northumbria were just too strong and the eventual result of the set was 25-11. The
third set started off very much like the second with Newcastle going 2 points up, however they failed to keep momentum going their way and the much taller team of Northumbria outclassed them on blocks at the net and spikes over the net. The final result was 25-9 to Northumbria and so that completed the Poly clean sweep of the volleyball. Newcastle did not embarrass themselves though and never gave up against a side that, on paper, should have eased to victory far quicker than they did.
MEN’S VOLLEYBALL Newcastle
0
Northumbria
3
By Lucy Williams at UNN Sport Central Following on from the Newcastle Women’s resilience against a much superior Poly, it was the turn of the men to try and match up against a strong Northumbria side who are well above
14.47 PM Northumbria edge what is arguably the tie of the cup in a 5-4 thriller in the men’s 2nds football at Longbenton
Newcastle Women’s No. 8 setting the ball up for the spiker Photography: Lucy Williams
18.20 PM The Poly mount a fightback, taking a surprise victory in the men’s rugby league 1sts which ends in a brawl
The Courier
stancalvert.7
Tuesday 12 March 2013
Rowers milk their victory ROWING
Stan Calvert Cup 2013
Newcastle
8
Northumbria
0
By Emily Keen at Newburn With a stash of medals from the recent BUCS Head weighing down the rowers of Newcastle University, they graced the banks of Newburn last Wednesday for the much anticipated Stan Calvert races. Oars were wielded on the Tyne at 2.00pm for Newcastle and Northumbria to battle it out over a grueling one kilometer stretch of the Newburn straight. Last year Newcastle won every single race. This year the crews were stronger, fitter and more experienced and with a clean sweep of golds across the board, they certainly didn’t disappoint. The categories chosen by Northumbria to race included a men’s single and quad, and women’s lightweight single and lightweight quad. Gemma Hall boated first, to race in the women’s lightweight single. Gemma recently posted the fastest U23 women’s lightweight time at the Spring GB Trials, coming 4th overall out of all the lightweight women in the country.
She wasted no time putting Northumbria in their place with an inevitable and well-deserved victory. She told The Courier that “it was really fun to race head to head” adding that “the support from the crowds was great”. James Rudkin followed in the Men’s single, easily piping Northumbria to the line. James began at Newcastle in September fresh from representing Great Britain at international level. In the recent GB trials, James came 24th overall and 9th in U23, no mean feat. Northumbria’s lightweight women’s quad pulled a gold medal at the BUCS Head last weekend, so looked to be the competition of the day. Newcastle’s elite crew, however, proved to be too much for the one hit wonder medalists. The crew consisted of Rosie Rust and Natalie Hardy fresh from their silver medal in the lightweight IV at BUCS Head, joining them were Henley winners Harriet Broad and Lexi Dobson. They cruised past the finish line with Northumbria in their wake attempting to keep up. The closest race was the final one of the day; the Men’s Intermediate LW 4 x winning their race by half a length. It looked to be a close run race but Newcastle pulled away for the win. Northumbria’s crew stood up for the crowd at the end of the race with 4 pints of milk and preceded to “milk it”. A phenomenon that has recently swept Newcastle involving the entire cartoon being emptied over the “milker’s” head in random locations around Newcastle. The Tyne at Newburn certainly pro-
Rory the lion celebrates as Newcastle’s rowers notch up further successes Photography: NUBC
vided a unique setting, although, as one spectator observed, “perhaps they might have actually had a victory to milk, had they not had 4 pints of Tesco’s finest weighing them down!” Yet another successful day for Newcastle Rowers. Fresh from their Poly bashing warm
up, NUBC will be flexing their muscles at the women race at Women’s Eights Head of the River race in London this weekend, to be followed by the men on the 23rd March. Head of the River is one of the biggest races of the year. Last year the women’s
first eight came an impressive 12th overall and the Men’s first eight pulled a remarkable 7th place. The bar has been set high, best of luck to all those competing and take heed from Northumbria’s unfortunate gamble: leave the milking till after the race!
Spoils shared at South North Stan Calvert Cup 2013
MEN’S CRICKET
Newcastle
2
Northumbria
2
By Joey Barton at South Gosforth Newcastle and Northumbria men’s cricket teams shared the spoils in the Stan Calvert indoor cricket matches on Wednesday. For anyone who doubts that cricket can be a thrilling fast paced game they should have headed down to South Northumberland CC to witness the rough and tumble nature of two hard fought Stan Calvert encounters. The format was 6 a side with 10 overs per side and the 2nd VI game kicked off proceedings with Poly batting first. In a match where it is perhaps tricky to identify a par score Race anchored the innings for Northumbria hitting 34 not out having opened the batting.
Some tidy bowling from the Royals resulted in wickets for Tom Clarke, Matt Douse and Sunter as Newcastle will have been happy at the halfway stage to have restricted Northumbria to a manageable 85/4 from their 10 overs. In reply Sunter took his lead from Race and having opened the batting, he saw his team home with 2 balls to spare and by 2 wickets to give Newcastle the first points of the 2013 Stan Calvert cricket competition. Supported by a cameo from Clarke, Sunter was accompanied at the end by Caleb Jones to see the Royals over the line despite 2 wick-
“Northumbria appeared to be cruising to victory until Essex, now seemingly on a one man mission, returned to the bowling attack in the final over” ets apiece for Marchant and Wright. Immediately following this tense clash the two first choice 6 a side teams faced off with Newcastle this time batting first. Wicketkeeper Gareth Pursehouse and Schofield opened the batting but Purse-
18.30 PM Newcastle see off the men’s squash 1sts in what appears to guarentee Newcastle victory
house struggled to give the innings the impetus he wanted to and having previously swung and missed at a pair of Scott Campbell deliveries, Pursehouse perished looking for the big shot again, as he was stumped off Campbell for 4. Left-armer Campbell continued his ultimately match winning spell, by astonishingly bowling a wicket maiden in the 10 over format, as he had Schofield caught at mid off looking for a maximum to reduce the Royals to a below par 37-2 after 6 overs. Things got worse for Newcastle in the next over when captain Tom Ullyot was
Photography: Joey Barton
run out for 6 after an incredibly athletic piece of fielding from cover by George Clarke sparking scenes of jubilation from the Northumbrians. The arrival of Hugo Snape at the crease sparked a slight shift in the momentum as he
launched a huge 6 on his way to a quickfire 20, before going for one huge hit too many as he was well held on the boundary in the penultimate over bowled by Adam Berry. The 10th and final over of the innings proved to be a fruitful one for Newcastle despite an amusing mix up between James Essex and Will Street which left both batsmen looking hopeless at the non striker’s end. Despite attempts from the Northumbria fielders to make a mess of the situation Essex was run out for 14 leaving Street as the last man to play well throughout the final over to finish as the Royals’ top scorer on 22 not out. Newcastle’s total of 92-5 seemed to be about par in the sports hall considering the scores seen in the earlier innings’. Having earlier impressed with the bat Snape got the second innings off to a perfect start for the Royals bowling a miserly over in which he conceded just two runs. Unfortunately for Newcastle this early pressure quickly evaporated with George Clarke, sporting a West Indian coloured helmet, leading a counter attack as Northumbria reached 41-0 after 4 overs. As the Poly moved easily above the required run rate frustration began to
grow into Newcastle’s game, highlighted by an over of short pitched bowling from Essex which included 3 no balls and leaked 19 runs. A piece of inspired captaincy brought the Royals back into the game as skipper Ullyot introduced himself into the attack and almost immediately accounted for the wicket of Berry, who was cleverly stumped by Pursehouse. Street then reacted rapidly at point to hold on to a sharp chance to remove Clarke off the bowling of Essex, but the game looked dead and buried with Northumbria needing just 18 off the last 3 overs at 75-2. However Newcastle kept fighting hard and their alertness in the field handed them a lifeline in the 8th over when Essex was able to capitalise on mix up between new Northumbria batsmen Brown and Thompson to run out the latter at the wicketkeeper’s end. Nevertheless Northumbria appeared to be cruising to victory until Essex, now seemingly on a one man mission, returned to the bowling attack in the final over with Poly needing just 2 to win. Admittedly Northumbria snuck home with 2 balls to spare thanks largely to Brown’s 17 not out, yet Essex’s accurate last over bowling had made them sweat much more than they thought they would have had to.
19.18 PM
21.30 PM
The athletics eventually finishes, and Northumbria take it with a rather messy scoreline of 6.75-3.75
Despite losing the showpiece event 30-14, Laura Mason lifts the cup with a scoreline of 78.75-64.25
FIVE THINGS WE LEARNED FROM STAN CALVERT 2013 1. Decimal point scoring is rather unsatisfactory. Thanks to the complicated way in which athletics is scored (Northumbria 6.25 Newcastle 3.75), the competition ended with a slightly strange looking scoreline of 78.75-64.25. This sounds more like the name of a room in the Business School than a sporting result.
2. Netball games are ludicrously close. After every netball game was won with a points total of 49, and two of the games were only won by one score, there can be little doubt which sport induced the most nail-biting results of the competition. A true rollercoaster ride at the Sports Centre.
3. Never tackle an opposing mascot until you know their gender. There were many cheers from the Newcastle fans when Roary the lion lined-up, charged, and rugby tackled Polly the parrot during the cheerleading performance. It was a hit that Brian Lima himself would have been proud of, but everyone was left feeling slightly uncomfortable when it was revealed that mascot was in fact a woman in parrot’s clothing.
4. March is actually the coldest month of the year. This year is the 20th anniversary of the Stan Calvert competition, and it has surely never been contested in a blizzard before. At least the snow shielded the views of the Newcastle fans as their team was demolished in the frozen wasteland that was Kingston Park.
5. Rugby league has the biggest fights. Fights threatened to break out in several sports; we saw two red cards for violent conduct in the men’s 2nds football, two sin-binnings after a punch-up in the rugby union men’s 1sts, and there were even players squaring up on the first tee at the golf. However, these incidents pale into insignificance when compared to the 26-man brawl that took place in the rugby league 1sts. It was a fracas that put Gerard Butler and co.’s attempts in 300 to shame. Freddie Caldwell
RESULTS
Sport
American Football
Athletics (Track and Field) Badminton M 1 Badminton M 2 Badminton W Basketball M 1 Basketball M 2 Basketball M 3 Basketball W 1 Basketball W 2 Cricket M 1
Cricket M 2
Cricket W 1 Cross Country M Cross Country W Fencing M Fencing W Football M 1 Football M 2 Football M 3 Football W 1 Football W 2 Futsal W Gaelic Football Golf 1 Golf 2 Hockey M 1 Hockey M 2 Hockey M 3 Hockey W 1 Hockey W 2 Hockey W 3 Lacrosse W Lacrosse M Netball 1 Netball 2 Netball 3 Netball 4 Rugby League 1 Rugby League 2 Rugby Union M 1 Rugby Union M 2 Rugby Union M 3 Rugby Union W Rowing IM W (Single) Rowing IM M (Single) Rowing W (Quad) Rowing W (Quad) Skiing 1 Squash M 1 Squash M 2 Squash M 3 Squash W 1 Squash W 2 Swimming M Swimming W Table Tennis M 1 Table Tennis M 2 Table Tennis W 1 Tennis M 1 Tennis M 2 Tennis W 1 Waterpolo M Waterpolo W Volleyball M Volleyball W
Venue
Gateshead Stadium
Gateshead Stadium Gateshead Stadium Gateshead Stadium Gateshead Stadium Sport Central Sport Central Sport Central Gateshead Stadium Gateshead Stadium South North CC South North CC South North CC Town Moor Town Moor Sports Centre Sports Centre Longbenton Longbenton 3G Longbenton 3G Coach Lane Coach Lane Sport Central Killlingworth Matfen Hall Close House Longbenton Longbenton Longbenton Coach Lane Coach Lane Coach Lane Cochrane Park Redhall Sports Centre Sports Centre Sports Centre Sports Centre Kingston Park Bullocksteads Kingston Park Heaton Heaton Cochrane Park Newburn Newburn Newburn Newburn Silksworth Ski Slope Sports Centre Sports Centre Sports Centre Sport Central Sport Central Sport Central Sport Central Sport Central Sport Central Sport Central Churchill Churchill Virgin Active Sport Central Sport Central Sport Central Sport Central
Date 17/2/13
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Winner Newcastle
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Stan Calvert Tweets of the Week - Kerry Davis - @Kezzah16
- Alex Halls - @AlexDHalls
“Love a streaker on the rugby pitch ... Shame it wasn’t the same guy as first year!! #windmill #sexonlegs #stancalvert #varsity”
“@dale_barras writes itself mate!! #stanclavert? #StanCalvert #Unaaaaaay pic. twitter.com/WmzCgj9AcF ”
- NUMHC - @NUHMC “The city is ours #stancalvert”
The Courier
springspecial.5
Tuesday 12 March 2013
Procrastination stations
As deadlines and exams loom, it’s important you plan your procrastination accordingly. Here are a few suggestions for acceptable dissertation distractions (Countdown? Entirely educational...)
Film
TV
Up
When you’ve “hit the wall” once again, having stared at that computer screen for what feels like an eternity, the thought of floating away from the streets of Jesmond into the sunset is certainly an appealing one. Pixar’s Up provides the perfect piece of procrast-animation to give you that break you’ve assured yourself you deserve, even if it’s just to watch the opening 10 minute sequence, which essentially can satisfy as a story in itself.
Little Miss Sunshine In times of heavy workload the light-hearted tale of a family’s hapless journey across America is without doubt one that can provide much needed relief. Whether it is through the impeccable performance of Steve Carell, (playing the intensely likable Frank) the want to just say “aww” whenever Olive arrives on screen, or to enjoy the hilarious actions of Grandpa Edwin, Dayton’s masterpiece can easily provide a sizable chunk of dissertation distraction.
Taken To hear Liam Neeson utter the unforgettable “I will look for you, I will find you and I will kill you” remains a perfect tonic for those whose frustration has reached its limit and may well feel like picking up the phone and repeating the phrase to a certain course leader. Nevertheless, even if work appears to be going well, an hour and a half of Neeson showing the bad guys how it’s done is enough to lead astray even the most dedicated of students.
Shrek Over a decade after its release, the charm of Shrek is still doing its job in providing a fairy-tale land to which one can escape that ever-looming mountain of work. The brilliant combination of Mike Myers (with his perfectly Scottish accent) and donkey never ceases to make us laugh and the temptation appears all too much to simply put it on and decide that as far as work is concerned “that’ll do Donkey, that’ll do.”
Harry Potter I feel like an apology is needed in the inclusion of such a mundane and obvious response. However, with now eight films to choose from, the possibility of finding yourself following another year at Hogwarts instead of focusing on your own, slightly less magical education, is at an all time high, be it to laugh at the pre-teenage acting of the earlier films or to opt for the later editions (perhaps with a view to the on-screen presence of now adult Emma Watson and/or Rupert Grint). Michael Slattery
Intellectual stimulation The easiest way to procrastinate with TV, in other words the one way in which you feel a lot less guilty doing it is by watching something “intellectually stimulating”. And by that I mean something that vaguely involves some sense of brain power to watch, preferably somewhat relevant to what you’re doing. Countdown is a great one because, not only is it perfectly timed for mid-afternoon, you at least feel like making words out of some letters is keeping your brain active. The ultimate excuse. Same goes for Pointless, although this one is often much better for you as the breadth of categories that do come up means it will almost certainly touch on something in your field. However, when you do terribly on a round on 18th Century Enlightenment figures and your exam on just that is around the corner, it will probably send you into panic mode. Damn you Osman!
Bite-sized If you don’t want to dedicate yourself to something that takes a chunk out of your day to watch (which means it’s probably best to entirely avoid The Wire at this point), why not opt for the bite sized chunks of TV to give you a nice little coffee break? Adventure Time is an adorable little cartoon, never more than 15 minutes, which has this appeal to it that makes you feel, even though you’re an adult, like it’s OK to be watching it. It’s colourful, insane and oftentimes very funny so it’s the perfect antidote! If you want something you can feel a bit more secure in your age watching, give Childrens’ Hospital a spin. Around 10 minutes an episode, it’s an incredibly surreal spoof of medical dramas and soap operas, with so many ridiculous twists and turns in one episode, you often have to take a break to catch your breath.
Sit back and relax If neither of those takes your fancy, you can always go visit those old pals, the shows that make you feel like the people that get the hugs from those blue furry arms in the classic Cup-a-Soup ads (remember them?). Sure you’ve watched every single episode of Friends or Modern Family but it’s just nice to go back and give them another visit, to take your mind away from the cramming you should instead be doing. They’re always on at some point in the day on some channel so, if you just flick on the TV, you’re likely to fall on one of them at some point. It’s the less guilty equivalent of going for a coffee with your friends as a break because you don’t need to leave your house to do it, instantly making you feel like you could easily just go back to work whenever.
Self esteem boosting
6. Nick Drake ‘Pink Moon’ Taken from his final album of the same name, ‘Pink Moon’ is regarded as one of those landmark songs in folk music. Featuring only Nick Drake, his guitar, and a little bit of overdubbed piano, it’s a sparse and unadorned track that was riding on the back of the hangover from the hectic ‘60s. It’s filled with technically brilliant acoustic riffs that artists still find hard to master today, and its dream-like lyrics will leave you feeling just that little bit lighter for all of your exam-woes.
7. Freelance Whales ‘Ghosting’ The band name, Freelance Whales, already tells you what kind of self-confessed indie effervescence this is going to sound like, but don’t let it put you off. These New Yorkers have turned their gentle nerdiness into a great strength, and there’s nothing better than some glockenspiel to aid all of that note-taking. ‘Ghosting’ is taken from their well-received debut album Weathervanes, and it’s a sweet song to have lulling in the background.
8. Washed Out ‘Within and Without’ This is what I imagine it would sound like if you slowed down some of Massive Attack’s songs and added some Xanax. Maybe a little too chilled out, Washed Out are known for their breakbeat albums, and this track isn’t unlike the rest. If you’re a fan of this then you should definitely put their entire discography on repeat the next time you’re pulling an all-nighter.
9. Sigur Ros ‘Staralfur’ Any revision playlist would be incomplete without the ethereal goodness of our favourite Icelandic minimalists. Stick on any album and you’re guaranteed to be in an ambience-induced coma within three tracks, and ‘Staralfur’ is one of many that’s perfect for those late night library sessions. It also helps that half of the time they sing in their own syntax-free language called ‘Vonlenska’, so there are literally no intelligible words to distract you from hitting those books.
10. Zero 7 ‘In The Waiting Line’
Finally, if things are really stressing you out, why not just make yourself feel better in your life? Anything Channel 5 or BBC3 shows is pretty much designed to do that. Be that Jeremy Kyle or 16 & Pregnant, you can always reassure yourself that you are in fact somewhat intelligent and you can get through these assignments/exams. Plus, it works as an excellent motivation technique if you’re really slipping, forcing you to work harder to avoid ending up with your own BBC3 show stuck right in between a Family Guy marathon and something featuring Danny Dyer, probably.
A personal favourite of all soundtrackcompilers everywhere, you’ve probably heard this song during a trippy scene in a TV show or a movie – it’s appeared in House, Garden State, and Sex And The City, just to name a few – and there’s a reason why it’s used so often. Supplemented by muted breakbeats and airilysung vocals, a thrum of psychedelia runs through the entire track. It puts you in a state of relaxation, which is exactly what you need.
Chris Taylor
Ian Mason and Beth Durant
6.springspecial
Tuesday 12 March 2012
The Courier
Start trek: where to boldly go in 2013 Summer might seem light years away, but if you’re planning on going travelling after the end of uni now is the time to be preparing. Where will you go? How much do you need to save? And how do you go about organising a visa? Whether you’re planning a quick city-break, a tour of Europe or an all-out cross-continental just-taking-my-toothbrush expedition, read on for some tips from a few seasoned pros
Mini-breaks Travel can open your eyes to the breathtaking views away from the normality of your home life. I have been fortunate enough to venture on many a mini-break - here are just a few of my travel tips that are a must before you go away. For a mini-break, whether it’s a romantic weekend away to the countryside on home soil or being whisked away to Paris (I should be so lucky!), you have to be a ‘savvy packer’, taking the bare essentials with some space for a few extras. My first tip would be that whatever travel arrangements you have made for you trip, make sure you have all your travel documents to hand and in one place. I like to use a trusty plastic wallet and print out all documentation for my trip and place in order of need during the trip. Whilst I appreciate this is very obsessive, it has never failed me yet. My second tip would be to get on your phone (or computer) and check BBC Weather for the destination you’re headed to so you can plan out potential outfits in your head in advance. If you do this and the weatherman’s predictions are correct, it saves you taking the unnecessary woolly jumper if it’s set to be a lovely spring day. The final tip I would have for mini-break success would be to do your research. If you’re only visiting somewhere for the weekend it’s best to plan ahead. Get a guide book (if you can be bothered to splash the cash) or just head to Google (it’s just as good). Find out the ‘musthave’ things to do/places to eat so that you can make the most of your time away.
These are just a couple of my necessary preparations that have never failed me yet. Hopefully these will help some of you next time you are planning a mini-break away with that special someone or a few of your housemates. Demi Carnelley
Budget picks: York, Devon, Paris
Backpacking The ‘rah’ stereotype is one that is well and truly alive in Newcastle. A defining characteristic of a ‘rah’ is going on a proper gap yah holiday. Let me assure you though, you don’t have to have a trust fund supporting you to see some of the cool places the world has to offer. There are a few things to remember though.
Decide where you’re going So you’ve decided you want to go on a longer adventure somewhere, but where? Well first decide what you want to do; whether it’s find the hottest curry in the world in India, or discover idyllic beaches in South Thailand. Consider these: Cost of living: How much it costs for essentials like food and accommodation, as well as travel. Flight costs: Bolivia is one of the cheapest countries to backpack, but for a return flight you’re looking at £900 upwards. Visas: For us Brits there’s a compulsory £100 visa. Climate: Monsoon seasons vary depending on country (and even within some larger countries such as India and China). Along with soaring/ freezing temperatures, this can make places inhospitable at certain times of year.
Before you go
You’ve decided where you’re going, great! Now start undertaking some research. It is usually a lot better to book things when you are out in the country instead of over here as there won’t be hefty booking fees and you will often find you can haggle the price – especially if there’s a few of you! Don’t over pack as there’s really no need. You can acquire pretty much anything you want from markets and shops, often at an extremely low price. Traveller’s cheques are my personal choice of currency as you can often get the best exchange rates and you are insured if you lose them. Don’t forget to check if you need any vaccinations or medication – most notably against Malaria, Yellow fever, and Japanese encephalitis.
Inter-railing Going on a longer trip requires a little more planning/consideration than a shorter weekend getaway as you’ll be moving from city to city, frequently taking long journeys and often sharing dorms with people you don’t know. The chances of losing things and being robbed increase, as does the likelihood of getting sick. Kind of a downer but it is worth keeping in mind. You should get insurance because it really is better to be safe than sorry. It might be an extra cost but it could payback tenfold if something goes wrong. You can get one insurance policy to cover travel, your belongings and healthcare as well. If you are going interrailing and are a European citizen make sure you get your European Union health card before you leaving, giving you free medical care in any state institution in the EU. For a long trip, you are going to need a lot of money and it simply isn’t practical or safe to carry it all on you. The amount you exchange
at the airport on holiday will do you fine for the short term but for these sorts of trips you need a more long term solution. The Travelex Mastercard is something you should look into. Also, don’t forget to tell your bank you are going away - you don’t want them to block your card! A good idea is to have backups, i.e. photocopies of important documents with you but also attached to an email so you can always print out new ones. Small precautions should be taken in the name of security such as having a padlock for lockers in hostels and on your luggage. Those above are perhaps the most important, necessary things you should do in order to avoid disaster. Here are some more miscellaneous things that will help in comfort and to ease frustrations. Backpack vs Suitcase: the classic dilemma. Largely a matter of opinion, but for flights of stairs, manoeuvring through crowds and generally looking like a typical backpacker, the backpack really is the only way. Whilst it may be bedtime for you that doesn’t mean it is for other people. A night mask and earplugs are a good idea for you light sleepers. In order to adapt well to your surroundings be firstly aware of any cultural implications of the places you visit, such as dressing and behaving appropriately in more conservative countries. Oh, and make sure you have the right adapter or phone will run out Budget picks: Czech Republic, Slovenia, Bulgaria your of battery! Katie Smith
Hostels are a great way to see the world. They are extremely affordable and you get to meet some great people. Trains and coaches are a lot cheaper than flying but can often take a long time and be rather unreliable. What a sales rep tells you takes four hours could quite easily take up to ten. But they are a great way to see some of the country you wouldn’t usually get to see. You can also find hidden gems in roadside cafes and breath-taking scenery. If all doesn’t go to plan (which it most certainly won’t) then don’t be disheartened. As long as you have your passport, plane ticket and a small supply of cash, you can get yourself home or if all else fails, to an embassy. Take loads of pictures, write down stuff you want to remember (people’s names, amazing places etc) - and go out and have an incredible adventure. James Simpson
When you’re out there Booking accommodation for the first few nights in a new place is something well worth doing, particularly if your transport arrives in the middle of the night. For flights, this means that you also have an address if any of your luggage goes missing.
Budget picks: Nepal, Cambodia, Bolivia
The Courier
springspecial.7
Tuesday 12 March 2012
The Fashion Editors’ Fix: Spring Edition The Courier Fashion and Beauty Editors pick their favourite items from the high-street’s Spring collections Primark, £12
Dune, £55
Illamasqua at ASOS.com, £14.50
Chanel ‘La Favorite’, £25
Sleek Blush by 3 in ‘Pumpkin’, £9.99 at Superdrug Miss Selfridge, £8.50 - £12.50
Miss Selfridge
Primark, £30
The Body Shop, £4 Primark, £20
Miss Selfridge, £12.99
ASOS.com, £38
8.springspecial
Tuesday 12 March 2012
The Courier
Verity’s Summer on the horizon
Geordie director Ben Crowe was nominated for a Palme D’or for his debut short film. Now he’s back with hotly-tipped feature film Verity’s Summer, tracking family tensions and moral quandaries on the Northumberland coast in relation to the Iraq war. Online Film Editor Chris Binding caught up with him before a screening at Tyneside Cinema Not many filmmakers can boast about receiving a Palme D’Or nomination from Cannes Film Festival on their first short film but then again Ben Crowe is no ordinary director. Hailing from Whitley Bay and studying at Cambridge, the director’s style has been appraised for its mixture of visual lyricism, superb storytelling and political undertones; and in the case of his first feature Verity’s Summer these elements come together to create a powerful piece of cinema. Catching up with the director in the Tyneside Cinema, Crowe was calm, articulate and honest in describing his slightly unconventional path into the world of filmmaking, coming from an entirely self – taught perspective. After studying political science at Cambridge University, his path to filmmaking was motivated by his personal disillusionment with his job ‘There was a moment in my early twenties when I realised that film was something I wanted to try my hand at. I got an idea for The Man who Met Himself […] I wanted to go back to fundamentals.’ With his budget limiting him to Super 9mm camera, his experimentation and hard work on his idea catapulted him to world recognition in a nomination at Cannes, which was incredible experience for a first time filmmaker with no formal training. ‘It was quite a crazy phone call finding out we had been selected by Cannes.’ What it does is give you a foot in the door and producers and distributors will listen to what you have to say for future projects. However it doesn’t bring any financial awards and it doesn’t bring immediate projects, or it didn’t with me at least.’ Although his first short The Man who Met Himself was a experimental genre piece, with idea and the tone of an espionage thriller, his latest film and first feature Verity’s Summer takes on the more controversial topic of the Iraq war through the
microcosm of a middle – class family living in the North East. As an individual schooled in human rights and involved actively during the anti – war protests during his early twenties, his vision for the film is one that is has a clear politics about the responsibility of war crimes. ‘At the time of the Bahamusa enquiry the first British person ever was convicted of a war crime, about twenty soldiers of different ranks were criticised for their inability to stop the legalised killing and torture of detainees. However the officers normally get off, as they are not involved in the day-to-day activities. […] When a nation like Britain goes to war in that situation it will have on-going implications in that country for generations. You also have tens of thousands of soldiers returning and they typically don’t get the support that they should receive from the British State.’ However as British films have previously made war films about working class soldiers suffering from post - traumatic stress, Crowe’s choice to focus upon middle class families ties in to issues of an army chain of command and how different ‘classes’ perceive war from different perspectives. ‘‘The British films that I have seen look at working class soldiers with post traumatic stress, they are normally aggro people, prone to excessive violence as individuals and they come from dysfunctional backgrounds etc. This is used to explain the ‘Bad Apple’ idea and is used as a means of scapegoating. The defence of officers who are supposed to be managing the military bases (in my mind) is that they didn’t know about’ . These people who come back who have been involved in these things or witnessed them, there must be an overwhelming sense of guilt and a desire to admit wrongdoing.’ It this psychological torture that Crowe explores in Verity’s Summer, confronting the nauseating
thought that someone you love could be capable of ‘torture’ and moral cowardice. This is heightened stylistically by avoiding the cliché flashback and unresolved confrontation of the issue, which has sat uneasy with some audiences ‘some people don’t like that ending and think it, lacks a certain emotional punch. In a way I felt I couldn’t write it as I had read so much of the testimony and every time I thought about how you could convey it dramatically it didn’t match up to the real horror of what people have actually done.’ However the intimate emotional account of torture explored by Crowe sits in direct contrast to more ‘spectacle’ driven portrayals in American Cinema, with Zero Dark Thirty as a notable high profile example. However as Ben explains making political films in Hollywood is a dangerous game: “Although American war films can have liberal American agendas they are still very patriotic, and there is still certain thing director presumably feel they can’t do in American Cinema if they want to make enough film. Its deeply political filmmaking
at that level, if you make the wrong kind of film you could be cut off from making anything ever again […] There must be low budget American indie films dealing with these issues but if they don’t get distribution they might never get seen.” In relation to location, Verity’s Summer is another film that makes full advantage of the visual and conceptual drama of the North East as Ben explains ‘‘I grew up here and knew the locations very well so I had an idea where I wanted to film everything, while the film also captures the forces of the environment shaping people, (army, boarding school, middle–class families) the main question of the film is whether there is something present in the parallels between ‘nature’ and society, that we all have the capability to inhumanity’ with many scenes rising questioning whether civilisation a veneer?” It is essentially the character Verity who must traverse this landscape in an attempt to break these ‘historical patterns of violence’ and directly confront the guilt of her father. Despite using many tools of the art-house in his work, Ben Crowe is essentially a political artist and as the founder of ERA, a company that produces documentary work around the world, he believes representation is an important part of filmmaking, especially in the case of Hollywood films. ‘If given the chance I would like to remake Slumdog Millionaire, it’s a shame it didn’t depict a different kind of India. It was an Academy winner and a great film in many ways but I would love to make a film set India that looked at some of the issues of class, poverty and corruption from a more realist perspective.’ Alongside touring Verity’s Summer and making films as part of ERA, Crowe has a lot of interesting projects coming up, that have been fed by his human rights work and experiences making films including a ethical exploration ‘of how journalists represent the rebel factions in the Congo, tying into the nature of representation’ and more excitingly ‘a revenge thriller that reads as a ‘Feminist Get Carter’ set in the North East. Although Ben Crowe faces a hard slog with selffinanced and -distributed Verity’s Summer ‘ where ‘every film you make is a fight in the face of public funding and private equity’ the main goal is that ‘regardless of whether you can afford formal training, eventually you have to enter the world, make your own networks and find your own feet. Although Verity’s Summer may not fit in archetypal explorations of the Iraq War and may be a little avant–garde for some, it is undoubtedly a relevant representation of the emotional scar tissue of the last decade and a true calling card from a visionary new British talent.
The Courier
12-17Marchlistings.21
Tuesday 12 March 2013
thecourieronline.co.uk/listings courier.listings@ncl.ac.uk | @Courier_Listings
Something for the weekend Spring Offensive, The Union Choir and Trev Gibb (Deerhart) 8pm, 16th March The NewBridge Project
Tickets £4 in advance available from www.wegottickets.com or £5 on the door.
Heartrock Live 6.30pm, 16th March Students’ Union
Heartrock Live is proud to present:• Digits • The Culture • Lauren Doyle • Bleachbird • Vacancy Light Tickets available from the band or NUSU Reception for only £6
Little Howard and the Magic Pencil of Life and Death 12pm, 17th March The Stand Comedy Club
Little Howard has discovered the pencil that drew him. But, on the other end of this magical pencil of life is the eraser of death, and a dark force is at large determined to rub the cheeky chap out for good. And, as if that wasn’t enough, Big Howard has had a real-life baby who is getting a little too much attention! Can Little Howard escape his supernatural nemesis? How will he get rid of this pesky new arrival? Who knows … but there will be danger, drama and a lot of laughs on the way. Tickets £4 available from The Stand’s box office and website
The Young Americans: ‘A Night on the Toon’ 8pm, 17th March MetroRadio Arena
Pinnacle of excellence in dance and music. Tickets £12.50 available from MetroRadio’s box office and website
Event of the week
A night of improvised comedy: Have you seen these men? (or woman)
Wednesday 13th March, 7.30pm Trent House Pub
Newcastle Comedy Society go from strength to strength every year and this is another chance for you to see the talent the society has to offer, with a night of improvised comedy. And it is all in the name of charity (and hilarity) so you should feel like a bad person if you aren’t in attendance. It is a £1 entry and all the proceeds with be going to wateraid. It is your chance to experience and enjoy the local comedy scene and let’s face it where else can you say you are getting high class (ish) entertainment for only a £1.
NSR: Show of the Week
The Courier Music Forum Wednesday 3-4
Connecting The Courier paper and online to the radio, The Courier Music Forum discusses the issues that have been featured and raised this week, which can go sensationally well, or can lead to a chaotic debate - either way it is worth a listen. With the main hosts being the three Music Editors (Chris Haywood, Sam Summers and Sophie Coletta), they are joined on a weekly basis by a variety of writers who pop by to join in the debate and fun.
Why people should listen - It is your chance to listen to some new music that you otherwise may not hear. - If you love the Music section that this is your opportunity to take that love to a new level.
Easter Special Listings Spektrum: Cedric Gervais and Norman Doray 11pm, 28th March Students’ Union
Spektrum is a brand new clubbing experience for Newcastle and Middlesbrough, featuring the current EDM stars from around the world. Be it Tyneside or Teesside, you can guarantee to see international talent right on your doorstep. Tickets available online or from Students’ Union reception.
Heartrock Live: Humanism 6.30pm, 30th March Students’ Union Heartrock Live proud to present:-
is
• Humanism • Artificial Empire • Matt & Joe • Jack Kelly Tickets £6 available from Students’ Union reception.
Biffy Clyro with special guests Little Comets. 7.30pm, 20th March MetroRadio Arena
Biffy Clyro have burst onto the scene and have no sign of going anywhere. This is your chance to see the rock legends in action, doing what they do best. Tickets £28.50 available from MetroRadio Arena’s box office and website.
The Hollies
7.30pm, 23rd March The Sage
Since emerging as an important component of the magnificent sixties British Pop Revolution, The Hollies’ hallmark sound has not wavered during their fifty years of recording and performing live around the world. Recently honoured in the prestigious American Rock n’ Roll hall of fame this band have helped shape the music industry that we have today. Tickets £24 available from Sage’s box office and website.
The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus 7pm, 27th March o2 Academy
Screamo pop-punk outfit The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus play a lively set of powerful angstfilled tracks to their hordes of dedicated fans. Tickets £10 available from o2 Academy’ s box office and website.
Tony Law Live: Maximum Nonsense 7.30pm, 18th March The Stand Comedy Club
Join Tony Law, ‘the sherpa of stand-up’ (Stewart Lee), for some gloriously absurd, loud and ridiculous comedy. As seen on Have I Got News For You, Never Mind The Buzzcocks, Russell Howard’s Good News and Stewart Lee’s Comedy Vehicle. Tony is striding out on tour this Spring with his five-star, Edinburgh Festival sell-out show. Tony won the Amused Moose Laughter Award 2011, the Chortle Breakthrough Award 2012 and was nominated for the Edinburgh Comedy Award in 2012. Tickets £10 available from The Stand’s box office and website.
The Saturday Show: with Daniel Sloss 7pm, 30th March The Stand Comedy Club
It’s the biggest show of the week. Relax as our resident comperes lead the way with The Saturday Show. Featuring five different acts on each bill there’s something for everyone to laugh at including the very best comics from the UK - with Daniel Sloss, Simon Donald, Peter Brush, Lee Kyle and Susan Morrison. Tickets £15 available from The Stand’s box office and website.
22.fashion
Tuesday 12 March 2013
The Courier
Fashion Editors: Elissa Hudson and Lizzie Hampson Online Fashion Editor: Sally Greenwood
Comic Relief chic
Frances Stephenson tells us how we can get our hands on designer clothes whilst doing our bit for charity If, like me, you usually sit down to watch Comic Relief every year feeling slightly guilty that you could have given more to the cause but just couldn’t take anymore bake sales and bucket collectors in silly costumes, never fear! The fashion world has produced some stylish alternatives to raising money and awareness for Comic Relief. British designers Stella McCartney and Lulu Guinness have turned their talents to aid the worthy cause, playfully reinventing their cult styles Red Nose Day related pieces for the big event coming up on 15 March
Stella McCartney Printed T-Shirts Best known for her eponymous label, the designer is renowned for her sharp tailoring with a feminine edge. After her stint making Team GB the best looking nation at London 2012, Stella turns her hand to the worthy cause of red nosing her celebrity pals on T-shirts. Famously quoted ‘It’s what it looks like on a real person that matters’, Stella is committed to producing wearable, stylish items and the Tees are no exception. They feature famous faces, including Marilyn Monroe, The Beatles, Tommy Cooper and Kate Moss, all with a red nose. The scoop
neck is flirty and feminine, show of some sexy collarbone, I dare you! Team with a high waisted skirt in order to give you an hourglass figure. The style of skirt is up to you; a denim skirt is bang on the retro ‘90s trend and matches the Tee’s playful vibe, whilst a leather number is buying into the androgynous, monochrome school of style. Ultimately, even if this T-Shirt just ends up as part of your gym kit, you can be safe in the knowledge that you helped a worthy cause and look fabulous (even if you are sweating profusely over Miss Monroe’s face).
Lulu Guinness Tote Bags
Famous for her cult ‘lips’ handbags, the quirky accessories designer claims to be influenced by retro glamour and ‘modern chic’ and her Comic Relief offering certainly epitomises this brief. Lulu has produced three different tote bags, Kooky Kat, Dolls Face and Spotted Nose. All are bold black and white, perfectly encapsulate the monochrome trend that’s set to be massive for A/W13, whilst adding a subtle nod to the Red Nose Day theme with red accents.
The cute designs are perfectly retro, pushing all the right ‘60s buttons right down to the Twiggy-esque lashes on the Kooky Kat design. The totes would make a good alternative to a plastic bag when shopping, so you can do your bit for the environment too and feel doubly worthy! The bucket style also lends itself effortlessly for chucking in Uni gear; just don’t lose your keys at the bottom like I always seem to do!
The Stella McCartney t-shirts are available from TK Maxx and are priced between £5.99 and £9.99. The Lulu Guinness tote bags are available from Sainsbury’s for £5.
Who do you dress for?
Two of our writers explore this age old debate: do women dress for men or other women?
Men
Women
It’s perfectly natural to want to be complimented on the way you dress, but is it jealousy from your female peers or male attention that gives you a satisfied glow? Of course, the ultimate critic is ourselves, because we wear what makes us feel good, but our subconscious wears what gets other’s responses to make you feel good as well. A compliment from a female friend may make you smile, but a compliment from a man will make you blush with delight. As appearance is the first thing that attracts us to someone, we want to appear as good as we can to the opposite sex. Our choice of clothes reflects not only our personality, but the intention to attract a similar type of personality in a man. This is a personal dilemma, as although I am desperate for a quirky, smart-looking guy to give me the time of day, my morning dress routine lacks time for finding a day-dress that is a perfect blend of flirty and mysterious. It cannot be denied by any single girl that dressing sexy is fun. Being a tease will always be something that empowers us women. Having several guys look you over and bite their lip beats modesty and all that lady-like malarkey. However, there is a correlation between dressing for men and offending other women. You may get a lot of male
take so long to get dressed, who are we even trying to impress? The answer; not men, but our female peers. We all do it, whether we admit to it or not, spend more time checking out other girls’ outfits than we do checking out men. Whether it’s someone walking past us on the high-street, the celebrity on the front of that magazine or even our closest friends, we can’t help but fuel our own judgemental running commentary, sizing up the competition. In fact, it’s almost like a competition, and I think us girls quite enjoy it. We all know that look too, the slow and deliberate ‘up and down’ stare of the fellow female, the worst kind of look. Yet, there’s something quite satisfying about overcoming it and receiving a compliment; we know it’s real and we know we’ve triumphed. Let’s face it; I’ve never had a man compliment me on my outfit choice, because quite frankly, they don’t have a clue. If it was the opposite sex we were trying to impress, we wouldn’t bother picking out that new dress or making sure we’re not behind on the latest trends. As long as it’s tight fitting, you’re onto a winner. Besides, we’ve all been in that situation when choosing what to wear and the decision gets too much, we can’t go on alone and we need help, but definitely not from a man.
Nicole Stevenson
Amy O’Rourke
applause for wearing a dress that says, ‘tear me off ’, but at the cost of other females around being less than enthusiastic. All the while, I find it more satisfying to reject male advances in these scenarios, because then I get to keep my clothes intact as well as my reputation. If you’re a feminist reading this, firstly – don’t shoot the messenger; secondly – dressing to impress is most certainly not beneath women.
You’re late, again. Was it really because you slept in, or were you stood in front of your open wardrobe debating over what to wear? I know which option I’m guilty of, and for me, deciding on an outfit is never as straightforward as it should be. By the time I’m ready to leave, at least ten tops or pairs of jeans have been tried on before being thrown out of the window, along with my intentions of being on time. But why, as girls, do we
The Courier
fashion.23
Tuesday 12 March 2013
thecourieronline.co.uk/fashion c2.fashion@ncl.ac.uk | @Courier_Fashion
London Fashion Week through the eyes of a PR intern
Sally Greenwood and Annie Morgan fill us in on what it was like to intern at London Fashion Week
1. Morning
Sally Greenwood 3rd year English Literature Gaining a week’s work experience at London Fashion Week at a fashion PR company was for me, one the most exciting opportunities I’ve ever had. I have to say that I feel it was a huge stroke of luck that brought me there. After constant emailing to London based PR companies I was lucky enough to be invited down for an interview at a company that seemed to be the most suited for me: not only did it cover fashion PR, but it was also events based with a little black book of celebrity clients. My interview, miraculously, was a success, and I was not only invited to fulfil a three-month internship this summer, but also to help organize an A/W13 show at London Fashion Week.
After a week of travelling around London on my own, hand delivering VIP invites, it came as no surprise to me that on the morning of the show I was sent out on a few errands, such as delivering designer clothing to studios and picking up missing essentials for the two hundred goody bags which now filled every inch of our office floor. Hyped up on caffeine and the thought of what the day would bring, it’s safe to say that my last morning as a PR intern went with lightening speed and all errands were done by 11am. Now all that was left to do was pack the goody-bags with gifts from GHD and Stila make-up.
I never actually planned on working at London Fashion Week, it kind of came to me by surprise. I had applied to lots of fashion PR companies in London in the hope of getting some experience when I graduate, but I got an email in January asking if I would be able to help out at LFW and come down for a couple weeks before as well. Luckily, I didn’t have any exams so I had two weeks off to begin the internship. I then went down to London for the two weekends prior to LFW as well. My advice to people wanting to work in Fashion PR is to apply to a bunch of different companies (obviously ones that work with designers and clients you actually like) and don’t wait to see a position being advertised, because most of the time this kind of opportunity won’t be.
How I Got There
Watching and working the show is something I will always remember, but so is the first afterparty I’ve attended, in this case at The Playboy Club in Mayfair. The team I worked for were very generous in giving us queue jump and free entry while allowing us to take the night off from our duties, so I got to rub shoulders with VIPs and drink the strongest complementary gin cocktails all night. At this point the major sleep deprivation I had suffered all week finally hit me, and despite having an amazing night, I could not have been happier to hop on the 38 night bus back to Clapton and my bed.
One of the most important reasons I managed to get this experience was the time and effort I’ve spent in creating a CV that exemplifies the skills that people in PR look for. I feel I have been really lucky with knowing what I wanted to do for some time, but I don’t think that’s all that matters. If you want to get into fashion PR, remember that having a strong CV and cover letter is essential, and don’t be afraid to email it around to as many companies as possible as positions such as this are rarely advertised. If you don’t get an immediate response, don’t be afraid to email again, or give them a ring. It’s that kind of determination which is admired by employers most.
“I got to rub shoulders with VIPs”
“Having a strong CV and cover letter is essential, and don’t be afraid to email it around to as many companies as possible”
2. Afternoon As soon as we arrived at Somerset House my experience became extremely surreal. Walking through the gates amidst the bustling paparazzi with full view of the celebs that were leaving the area, it finally hit me how excited I was to be there. The previous show had overrun leaving us unable to move backstage, but we were finally asked to take our positions on the runway. I was in charge of looking after the VIP and sponsors block. Everyone in my whole block decided they would seat themselves on the F-row despite what their ticket actually said, so I had the daunting task of raising my voice at people who (for all I knew) could be really important. Thankfully, I managed to get everyone seated, the cover was whipped off the runway, the music started and the show began.
1. Morning
Annie Morgan 3rd year English Literature
3. Night
By 8am I was already receiving a load of phone calls from my boss about things we needed to sort out before the show. Juggling the phone and my makeup, I tried to remember every single thing she told me I had to do because the last minute preparation before a show is so important (all whilst trying to look like I’d got more than four hours sleep). There are some things you won’t actually be able to organise until the day of the show! I was in the office by 9am and we spent the next few hours dealing with last minute ticket requests and making sure the seating plan made total sense.
2. Midday At this point we were getting ready to leave the office to head to Somerset House to prepare for the show. Once the guest list was ready, we grabbed a few taxis and headed to the venue. When we got there, backstage was packed with beautiful models getting their make-up done, whilst journalists, photographers and well-known beauty bloggers took notes. We had to make sure that all the journalists who had requested an interview got to speak to the designers and we had to make sure all the goodie bags were placed on the front row.
What I Learned I think one of the most important things I learned is what kind of internship I want. Whilst I had an incredible experience during my week in February, it has shown me the kind of things I definitely want and definitely don’t want for my future career. This is why I value every single bit of work experience I’ve had the opportunity to fulfil, as I can now safely say exactly what I want in the future (for now). Because of this experience, I now have an internship at a PR company in Leeds to look forward to, and a fashion PR internship at Selfridges in London.
3. Afternoon As the show was about to start, it was time to let everyone in. The queue went on for absolutely ages which was a bit daunting, but before we knew it everyone was inside. We made sure all the VIPs and key press were taken to their seat and were happy. I was in charge of social media, so I actually got a really good job. I was taking photos of any VIPs and of the runway, replying to any tweets and just generally helping around.
4. Night Following shows there tends to be an after-party. At the company I worked for, we split our time between ‘kind-of-working’ (which consists of making sure any VIPs are being looked after) and just letting our hair down after a long day. The night for us finished at 5am and I think it is fair to say that working in fashion is fun but also incredibly exhausting! (Hence why everyone is so skinny…)
“Apply to a bunch of different companies... don’t wait to see a position being advertised, because most of the time this kind of opportunity won’t be.”
NEWCASTLE STUDENT RADIO PRESENTS...
BLEECH Thursday 18th April Newcastle University Students’ Union Entry £6 (www.seetickets.com)
The Courier
beauty.25
Tuesday 12 March 2013
thecourieronline.co.uk/beauty courier.beauty@ncl.ac.uk | @Courier_Beauty
Beauty Editor: Annie Morgan Online Beauty Editor: Amy Macauley
How To: What’s in my bag? Holy Grail! Oscars
Daisy Ridley reveals her holy grail
Annie Morgan shares her make-up bag essentials that she has on hair product- the secret behind her fresh-looking locks her at all times - in case of a beauty emergency!
Bobbi Brown Creamy Concealer
Safiya Ahmed shows us how to recreate an Oscars-inspired beauty look
Step 1: Eyes
My favourite concealer at the moment is the Bobbi Brown Creamy Concealer, although it does mean I need to bring out a small brush with me. If I had to have just one product with me, it would be this. I could happily leave the house with no eye makeup on and no lipstick
With such hectic student lives, or just one late night too many, it’s hard to fit in washing, drying and styling your hair. The brand ‘Batiste’ has recently exploded in the UK, introducing dry shampoo. They have large range varying from scent to the colour of your hair. The product is really easy to use, and in three easy steps you are guaranteed to get that ‘styled’ look without faffing on with your GHDs and copious amounts of hairspray.
on but I always need to have some kind of coverage on my skin which is why I need to have a concealer with me at all times - you never know when your skin might get a little blotchy or your eye bags will appear!
Caudalie Beauty Elixir For the eyes start with a soft grey eye shadow all over the lid, up to the crease. Use a darker shade of grey to highlight the socket and create definition. You could even use a brown shadow for a more dramatic smoky eye. Take a lighter nude colour under the brow bone and then blend thoroughly using a fluffy brush.
This is a great product for freshening up your makeup during the day, especially if your skin starts to look a little dull. It’s also great if your makeup begins to separate or if you wear a lot of powder. A quick spritz of this helps
Step 2: Lashes
Step 1:
to keep your skin looking dewy, and if you have oily skin it helps soak it up. Not only does it make your skin look great but it smells really refreshing and herby - it’s a great pick-me-up to bring into university with you.
Tom Ford Lipstick in Pink Dusk This is a Tom Ford lipstick in the shade ‘Pink Dust’ - currently my favourite lip product. I will usually just bring out whatever lip product I put on in the morning, but I tend to prefer lightweight, moisturising products that I can pop on without a mirror after I’ve eaten or had a drink.
Line the eyes with a black/brown Kohl liner and add a feline flick along the upper lash line. Curl and apply a lengthening mascara or apply false lashes for added drama.
Step 3: Base
These lipsticks are incredibly expensive so if you’re going to invest, make sure to either try it out before or do a bit of research on the colour you’re interested in. The packaging is so luxurious and beautiful that you’ll enjoy whipping it out from your bag in the middle of a lecture.
Shake the can vigorously and spray directly on your roots. (Be sure to spray about 30 cm from the hair otherwise you will end up with a light dusting of powder)
Step 2:
Massage your roots. (This gives your hair extra volume without using extra hair products)
Step 3:
Brush your hair and style accordingly. This little can has been a lifesaver so many times- it takes your hair from ‘bed hair’ to ‘socially acceptable!’ Batiste Dry Shampoo Original – Clean & Classic 200ml. Available at Boots from £2.99. 50ml versions are also available so you can always have it on the go!
Q&A: Boys On Beauty Hazel Parnell reveals how clueless boys really are about makeup and beauty, through a series of quick fire questions.
What do you think contouring is?
Emil
Shaun: Erm is it when you layer your face with lots of foundation so it’s really thick? Jonny: Trying to get rid of wrinkles and liney bits and edges. It’s definitely something to do with lines. Emil: Covering up your creases and skin.
What about threading? Shaun: It’s for your eyebrows, is painful and
Next wipe away any eye shadow fall out and apply foundation and concealer using a brush for a fresh, matte finish. Using a matte bronzer and an angled contour brush, create a contour line in the hollows of the cheeks and apply a shimmery highlighter just above.
has something to do with a needle. Jonny: It’s when you sew your eyebrows together and pull them apart. Emil: When you put wire through your eyebrows - is it also called wiring?
Step 4: Lips
Jonny
What do you think BB cream is, and what do you think BB stands for? Jonny: Definitely body butter cream. Shaun: Is it moisturiser for your BB gun? Emil: I think it’s definitely something for piles.
And finally, what do you think HD brows are? Finally finish off with a baby pink / bubblegum lipstick and a slick of lip gloss for a subtle yet sophisticated Oscar-ready look
Shaun
Shaun: High definition eyebrows, like a television (looks really pleased with self). Jonny: When you can do crazy and elaborate designs on your eyebrows. Emil: Painted on eyebrows
26.arts
Tuesday 12 March 2013
The Courier
Arts Editors: Lisa Bernhardt and Millie Walton Online Arts Editors: Grace Harvey
Newcastle art students call for silence
Charlotte Valletta looks back to a time before sound and explains why you should get involved in the student organised 4’33” Silent Film Festival this May
F
og on the Tyne emerged from the Toon in 1971 and was the album that triggered the overwhelming commercial success of Lindisfarne, arguably one of the best bands Newcastle has ever produced. This album was followed by Dire Straits’ Brothers in Arms in 1977, which has now sold over 30 million copies; the seventies was clearly the decade in which Geordies made their mark on the music industry. But how much ‘good’ music is coming from the Toon in our generation? Our most famous singers from the noughties include Joe McElderry and Cheryl Cole. If, like me, this fact makes you lose all hope that originality and talent still thrives in Newcastle, never fear: check out Little Comets, Boy Jumps Ship, Lack of Lifeboats and The Matadors, to name but a few of Newcastle’s brilliant new bands. Let’s hope that they start to receive the recognition they deserve.
T
his May, silence will descend on Newcastle’s art scene as venues across Newcastle host 4’33’’ (pronounced four minutes, thirty three seconds), a Silent Film Festival organised by a group of Newcastle University Fine Art students. The Festival is a direct response to John Cage’s radical 1952 musical composition, 4’33’’. The piece involves absolutely no sound and lasts (yes, you guessed it!) four minutes and thirty three seconds. The team of students behind the festival have put out an open call for submissions and promise that all work submitted by 26th April will be shown, providing the video is exactly four minutes and thirty three seconds in length and is silent. They are particularly encouraging new film makers to submit work and it is one of their aims to get more people, not just artists, involved in the project. They commented “the Festival is a great
G
eorge the Poet is “by far the hippest poet in Britain”, according to his website. During 2012, 21 year-old George Mpanga from north-west London really made a name for himself - you may have seen his blend of poetry and rap on the BBC and Channel 4 or heard him on BBC Radio. His poems, ranging from the hilarious to the deeply moving, address social and political issues, such as trying to convince the inner city youth of London to “reach beyond crime and escape from grinding poverty” in ‘My City’. George aims to communicate with people from all walks of life, not just a certain social group and his poetry constantly questions the meaning of ‘status quo’. “We all think and feel similar things; my poetry communicates with all audiences”. Currently, George studies politics, psychology and sociology at King’s College, Cambridge University, an unbelievable feat for someone who “had learned that gunshots sound like fireworks and that not everyone knows their father” by the time he had reached secondary school. To be simultaneously admired by both his professors and the youth from where he grew up is an incredible achievement and proves just how exceptional this young poet is.
H
arlem Shake – the Internet meme that, within twenty days, went internationally viral but is already ‘getting old’. The meme was established by five teenagers from Queensland, Australia, who uploaded a video to YouTube on a whim on 2nd February. This video was an answer to ‘Smell My Fingers’, a video uploaded by YouTube comedy vlogger Filthy Frank (channel: DizastaMusic), in which several costumed people dance to the song ‘Harlem Shake’ by Baauer. By 10th February, the upload rate of Harlem Shake videos reached 4,000, which tripled by the next day and continued climbing until its popularity reached its peak on of February 15, when about 40,000 Harlem Shake videos had been uploaded, totalling 175 million views worldwide. As a result of the popularity of the phenomenon, Baauer’s single reached #1 on the iTunes America chart and #2 in the UK and Australia. Newcastle has recently joined in, but is it too late? Jennifer Hopps
opportunity to have your video work shown on a public platform” and given that confirmed venues include the Star and Shadow cinema, they’re certainly right! There’s a massive push for submissions and propaganda seems to be the name of the game. You can’t help but be taken in by their epic poster calling for submissions. Conjuring up images of Lord Kitchener and “Britain Needs You”, it’s definitely working and the group say they’ve already had a large number of submissions. The project is still in its early days but their blog (433silentfilmfestival.blog.com) is chic, slick, and, most importantly already established. The 4’33’’ Festival and its organisers as a whole, give off an air of relaxed coolness, definitely an encouragement given the large undertaking of the project. So what might we expect to see? The main focus will be local art, however, artists’ submissions won’t be the only thing screened at the event. Clips from classic silent movies will also be shown, cut down to four minutes and thirty three seconds of course. The term “silent film” refers to the early 1900s when film was the forefront of modern advances. The first moving picture was recorded in 1888, and it wasn’t until the late 1920s that sound could be captured alongside film; enter the “talkies”. Despite it’s short life, silent film had a lasting effect and I’m sure you’d all recognise, perhaps one of the most famous images from the silent film era, Harold Lloyd’s 1923 ‘Safety Last!’. Comedy was the perfect partner for silent film; over the top body language and facial expression were crucial, melodrama was a must. A cheeky, light-hearted orchestral accompaniment made the film. ‘Safety Last!’ sees Lloyd play the fool and, in an effort to impress a girl, he ends up running from the police. His attempted escape involves him scaling a skyscraper, culminating with that iconic image of Lloyd dangling from a clock hand above the rushing cars of the big city. Horror was also a major player, and Nosferatu (Dracula), 1922, is a must-see for all horror fans. Though the earliest horror film was surely L’arrivée d’un Train en Gare de La Ciotat, 1895, at fifty seconds long,
it’s not quite 4’33’’ but definitely a classic silent movie moment. The urban legend surrounding this film tells of an audience so overwhelmed by the moving picture that when the life sized image of the train came hurtling toward them they ran screaming to the back of the theatre. Terrifying. The Festival will take place over four days, opening the evening of Thursday 16 May at the Star and Shadow. If all goes to plan (which it’s bound to, thanks to the determination and passion of the organisers) the Festival will then continue to run throughout the day and into the evening on the following three days, finishing Sunday 19 May. Watch this space. For more information on the festival and submissions, visit http://433silentfilmfestival.blog.com/ sample-page
Only members allowed!
We sent couple Sam Summers and Lydia Caroll to see grown men play with their genitals at the Tyne Theatre - all in the name of art. They tell us whether the show ‘measured up’ to their male/female eye
When I procured for my girlfriend and I two free tickets to a dick show, nothing was further from my mind than the possibility that it might be aimed at women. The title, Puppetry of the Penis, implied to me less a bawdy hen night spectacle than an out-and-out freak show. I expected steel-nerved, rubber-donged mentalists, twisting their mighty hose-like appendages into sailor’s knots as the audience winced and I laughed gleefully, revelling in the horrified shrieks of my soon-to-be-ex girlfriend. I began to notice that things were not as they seemed during the support act, comedian Tiff Stephenson, somewhere between a joke about ‘pop socks’ and one about ‘reinforced gussets’. As I sat amid riotous high pitched laughter wondering what in the bloody hell a gusset was, I thought to myself that perhaps I was not the target audience of these penis puppeteers. Very shortly my fears were proven well founded, as Nacho, Fitchy, and their not-immediately-impressive genitals took the stage. Far from the BDSM torture porn I was hoping for, their antics ran the gamut from ‘pretty funny’ to ‘I can do that’. This wasn’t threatening in the slightest. This was the My Family of genital mutilation. To put it bluntly, Nacho and Fitchy had pretty big scrotums and pretty long foreskins. Nothing to lose any sleep over, then, although I can’t say the same for the mortification I endured when Lydia decided to repeat-
edly refer to Fitchy as ‘the attractive one’. Bitter? No, I’m not bitter. It could be worse; I could be Wayne. Overweight, underclass and very, very drunk, Wayne was the unfortunate soul dragged onto the stage for the ‘do it yourself ’ segment of the show. Tricked into attending by his wife, under the pretence that he was off to see Chubby Brown, Wayne made a valiant but ultimately unsuccessful effort to perform ‘the burger’, thwarted by an inability to follow basic instructions, as well as his very small penis. Of course, any man who takes their girlfriend to see Puppetry of the Penis will find themselves in Wayne’s shoes as soon as they get home, and for many nights to follow. If only for this reason alone, lads, I’d stay the hell away.
“Baby!” my boyfriend announces, with an ebullience that can only mean free tickets to a dick show. “You know how you say we never go anywhere? I’ve got us two free tickets to a dick show!” Before I can say “I think we should stop seeing each other”, it’s a week later, and we’re in the bar at the Tyne Theatre, surrounded almost exclusively by women. The atmosphere is that of the biggest hen party ever. It’s undoubtedly a night for the ladies. “I don’t know why I didn’t expect this”, my boyfriend says, with the quiet horror of someone who knows they have made a terrible mistake and will now have to spend an hour watching another man play with his scrotum. “I thought there might be loads of men who would
come to… look at the dicks”. Inside the show, my own greatest fear is soon dispelled; namely, that it would be a high brow, postmodern affair, and I would have to sit in reverent silence, appreciating the ‘art’. As it turns out, Nacho and Fitchy – the, um, ‘performers’ - are no artistes, but two raucous Australians who bound onstage in sunglasses and capes. They’re more like two ten-year-old boys who’ve been given a stage, an audience, and a licence to do whatever they want. What they want, apparently, is to manipulate their penises into things like ‘a turtle’ and ‘a pelican’, whilst a cameraman and a projector bring it all into high definition for those sitting at the back. Unfortunately, we are not sitting near the back. It soon becomes apparent that a lot of audience participation is the order of the day, i.e. actually getting close to the dicks. At one point, Nacho - although it might have been Fitchy, I wasn’t looking at his face - jumped into the audience and clambered across the seats, fully naked, balls at eye level with a hundred shrieking women. “You might want to cover that drink next time”, Fitchy-or-Nacho tells a woman in the fourth row afterwards, still laughing hysterically. I hear Sam start to weep quietly with fear. Terrified boyfriends aside, watching a man contort his penis into the Loch Ness Monster – complete with waggling head – is oddly entertaining, and undeniably original. Recommended.
The Courier
arts.27
Tuesday 12 March 2013
thecourieronline.co.uk/arts c2.arts@ncl.ac.uk | @courier_arts
Spotlight on...
Kneehigh: Steptoe & Son
R
Northern Stage, 12- 16 March
enowned for their vigorous and innovative theatre, Kneehigh have built up a reputation as one of Britain’s most exciting touring theatre companies. Steptoe and Son is based on the classic 1960s TV comedy which has been adapted for the stage, creating a piece of theatre that combines the show’s gritty realistic comedy with Kneehigh’s unique style. Inspired by the legendary scripts of Galton and Simpson Steptoe and Son tells the story of Albert and Harold Steptoe, a father and son scraping through life, waking up every morning to the same mundane routine, sick of the sight of each other. Harold desperately seeks something beyond the confines of their tedious existence, whereas his father Albert will do anything to distract his son from the dreams he has of pursuing a more exciting future. Darkly comic and deeply moving, Steptoe and Son explores the tempestuous, competitive and suffocating relationship of a father and son bound together by birth, business and bad luck. Directed and adapted by Olivier award nominee, Emma Rice whose continued artistic directorship of Kneehigh has brought them critical acclaim and sell out shows. Starring Mike Shepherd and Dean Nolan as the father and son duo, Steptoe and Son is a heartwarming and thought-provoking tale told through the unique eyes of Kneehigh Theatre Company. Performances are at 7.30pm every night plus 2pm on Thursday and Saturday. Georgia Snow
previews
#3: Viktor Krum
Book: ‘Harry Potter’ series by J.K. Rowling
O
vershadowed by Harry Potter and pals and somewhat sidelined as an outsider in the Hogwarts clan, Viktor Krum is perhaps a wild card entry into the countdown of fictional hearthrobs. Tall, thin and pale with dark hair and described by as Hermione Granger as “grumpy looking”, he directly contrasts the rosy-che eke d, shiny-eyed look of the novel’s protagonists marking him out as the dark horse of the series. His muscularity and Bulgarian accent lend him a certain roughness that makes him simulatenously very attractive,
slightly un-nerving and a little comedic - everything you want in a man. He’s also actually a much more skilled Quidditch player than the infamous Harry Potter, having been selected to play for the Bulgarian National Quidditch team whilst still in school. Did Harry play in the 1994 Quidditch world cup, get his nose broken by a Bludger and still manage to catch the golden snitch? I don’t think so. It’s no wonder Harry felt a little intimidated to be up against the Durmstrang Champion in the Triwizard Tournament! Like my #4, Mr. Darcy, Viktor is a man of few words and is actually quite shy around girls despite his arrogant exterior and ‘laddish’ attitude: “Vot is the point of being an international Quidditch player if all the good-looking girls are taken?” (Viktor to Harry). It takes him days to muster up the courage to talk to Hermione and when he does eventually express his undying love, inviting her to stay with him in Bulgaria over the Summer, she responds almost indifferently and never even does go to visit him, as it turns out she’s had the hots for Harry all along. What a surprise! Poor Viktor, I’d choose you over Harry any day even if he did defeat The Dark Lord. Millie Walton
reviews
Estelle Bill
I
t was ambitious of NUTS to tackle something like Disney’s Beauty and the Beast. I was worried that the script and songs would flounder without the beautiful animation of the film or the blockbuster budget. Fortunately, the NUTS crew managed to bring the spirit of the original to a more-or-less empty stage without losing much in the process. Jake Houghon as Lumiere, James Hepworth as Gaston and Rachel Slattery as Le Fou were definitely the standouts, and their superbly cartoonish performances could have been lifted straight from the film itself. The orchestra were spot-on and Lexy Phillips’ rendition of the title song was exactly as it should be. The big chorus numbers, especially ‘Gaston’ and ‘Be Our Guest’ were truly spectacular and while the choreography itself wasn’t exactly mind blowing, the energy exerted by every member of the large ensemble was infectious. Unfortunately, the solo songs often fell rather flat, as some of the performers simply didn’t have the voices needed to carry the material. This was particularly apparent in the songs which were absent in the film version, and therefore couldn’t rely on audience recognition and made for some very dull sequences. Overall, though, this was an extraordinarily successful attempt to bring the grandiosity of a Disney musical to the stage on a NUTS budget, breathing new life into a tale as old as time. Sam Summers
Flare Path
Theatre Royal 4 - 6 March
St. Luke’s Church 6 - 8 March
arry Shue’s The Foreigner is a risky play to choose; firstly because it involves the majority of the cast speaking in a deep southern American drawl for the entire performance and secondly because though it is a comedy, it also deals with some very sensitive issues revolving around racism. Fortunately, however, NUTS handled it expertly. The cast’s accents never faltered and aside from the appearance of the Klu Klux Klan in the second half, everything was kept very PC, allowing the audience to indulge in the guilt free humour. The standard of acting in general was remarkably high for an amateur performance and greatly enhanced the hilarity of the script. Though the stand-out performances were from Dan Bradshaw (as the shy and supposedly ‘foreign’ Charlie, whose facial expressions hugely amused the audience) and Dan Lockett as the simple, chipmunk obsessed Ellard, Annelies de Jong also impressed in her role as the menacing and authoritative Mary Anne. In general, the production was very slick, excepting the moment when one cast member fell off the stairs into the wings, which admittedly was well recovered and actually contributed to the comedic tone. Overall, The Foreigner was hugely entertaining and exemplified the outstanding quality and professionalism of NUTS productions. Millie Walton
he 20th century playwright Terrence Rattigan drew on his own experiences as a Second World War RAF bomber to compose Flare Path a beautifully-crafted drama which interweaves the reality of war time tragedy with the emotional conflict of a seemingly unresolvable love triangle. Throughout this highly enjoyable and often humorous performance, the audience is drawn into the lives of ten characters as they come to terms with the realities of war-torn 1940s Britain. St Luke’s Church on Claremont Street provided the ideal backdrop for this emotionally charged NUTS performance, brilliantly directed by Richard Speir. It was the perfect union between highly wrought emotion and light hearted humour played out in the lobby of a small hotel. The love triangle at the centre of the story was brilliantly executed, in particular by India Brown in her role as actress Patricia Graham, portraying the underlying tension between herself and actor Peter Kyle, teamed with the duty and obligation she felt towards her brave pilot husband. The disparity between her two lovers was presented commendably by Richard Garrett and Christian Cargill who managed to divide the audience on which choice she should make. So thanks to its great cast, Flare Path proves that history doesn’t have to be boring - a wonderful and emotionally enthralling story. Francesca McDaniel
Northern Stage 21 - 23 February
Theatre Royal 8 - 9 March
or those of you devastated to find out that Harry Hill was throwing the towel in and leaving Saturday night’s hit show TV Burp: fear not, he’s back and on the way to Newcastle! On Friday 15 and Saturday 16 March, for the first time in six years Harry takes to the stage for the night, delivering hours of idiocy and ridiculousness in his new tour Sausage Time. And in case you’re not quite convinced yet by the hilarious title: yes, there will be a huge sausage involved. Expect a catch up on Harry’s Nan’s latest ailments, a guest appearance from Stouffer the cat, and lively music from his show-band, aptly named The Harrys. Of course, the night would not be complete without his over-sized floppy collars, his silly grin and his interesting choice of chunky platform trainers. Make your way to Theatre Royal’s box office and purchase your ticket for a night of chaos and just downright silliness before they sell out! The night goes beyond Hill’s pie-in-face clownery, as he delivers sophisticated gags and grown-up innuendos, as well as an all-singing, all-dancing finale for you musical lovers. So, what are you waiting for? If you want to be dazzled by Hill’s craziness and tickled off your seat in a fit of giddiness then look no further, your weekend is sorted.
The Foreigner
Beauty and the Beast
Harry Hill: Sausage Time
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28.musicreviews
Tuesday 12 March 2013
The Courier
Music Editors: Chris Haywood and Sam Summers Online Music Editor: Sophie Coletta
How to Buy... Grunge
David Bowie The Next Day
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Scott Tailford takes you on a guided tour of ‘90s Seattle, which brought raw guitar rock to the mainstream For Beginners:
Nirvana Nevermind (1991) The Seattle grunge scene of the late ‘80s would spawn many a chequeredshirt and ripped-jean crusader hell bent on tearing the mainstream rock scene apart. Although Nirvana’s debut Bleach went somewhat unnoticed by the mainstream, by ’91 bands like Pearl Jam and Soundgarden were flying the grunge flag proudly, and Nevermind was swallowed up like the succulent slab of pure rebellion it was born to be. ‘Smells Like Teen Spirit’ was effortlessly gargantuan for a baiting mass audience, and the tenacity that fuelled the likes of ‘Breed’, ‘Stay Away’ and ‘Territorial Pissings’ meant that the brooding teenage-angst throughout the whole album changed the way the world would look at heavy music forever.
o-one expected it. On the day of his 66th birthday, David Bowie released a single; a present from him to us on his birthday, clearly unaware of how birthdays actually work. He’d been gone for about a decade, recording an album in secret for the past two years. So closely guarded was this secret that we only first heard about it when the aforementioned single ‘Where Are We Now?’ was released on his birthday, about two months before The Next Day was to be released. Of course, the announcement of his return was met with joy and uncertainty in equal measure. As critically acclaimed as Bowie is, he’s had a patchy career. We try to forget the whole Tin Machine era and a few of his later albums failed to hit the mark that his ‘one fantastic album every year throughout the ‘70s streak did. And ‘Where Are We Now?’ wasn’t exactly a ‘Sound and Vision’, which sent people into a bit more of a fluster. It was intriguing, featuring Bowie pining for his Berlin days, hinting at a raw, autobiographical feel to The Next Day but had it been released during his career, as opposed to alongside the flurry of excitement at his return, it would’ve been passed off as just OK. Luckily, ‘Where Are We Now?’ is unrepresentative of the album we actually have. In fact, plonked right in the middle, it feels a bit out of place. Other than cementing the theme – that of mortality and, as in the wonderful ‘The Stars (Are Out Tonight)’, excess – it’s a lot slower and more reserved, with Bowie’s wispy voice leading the way. The rest of the album does everything it can to escape the notion, implied by that first single, that Bowie’s getting on a bit. In fact, The Next Day acts as a sort of exhibition: The Life and Times of David Bowie.
Echoes of nearly every single Bowie era are here, unexpected from man who would rather explore than hark back to the past. It’s exciting to hear the sonic references; ‘Valentine’s Day’ could quite easily have been ripped straight from Aladdin Sane, and ‘You Feel So Lonely You Could Die’ reflects Ziggy Stardust’s ‘Five Years’. We have strangely industrial tunes in ‘I Can See You’, and the occasional rock stomper such as ‘How Does Your Grass Grow?’.
The Next Day acts as a sort of exhibition: The Life and Times of David Bowie While it’s no Young Americans or Low, it still has all the excitement that you found in those albums for the first time. Each track references the past but stamps its own identity on the Bowie chronology, unrelenting in their ability to continue carving a new path whilst also looking back at the path they’ve already created in a way that only someone like Bowie could do. This is how you make a comeback: not with a whimper but with a massive, massive bang. Recommended download: ‘How Does Your Grass Grow?’ Chris Taylor
Every Weekend
For Experts:
David Bowie Scary Monsters (And Super Creeps)
Nobody else in the music industry quite has the same charisma, character and charm as Bowie. This, his fourteenth studio record, managed to couple commercial success with critical acclaim by substituting experimentation with a commercially viable sound as in The Next Day.
Tales From Terra Firma Stornoway
New Moon The Men
Hadouken!
If you like this, try ...
Alice In Chains Dirt (1992) Alice In Chains took the compositional elements of heavy metal and coupled them with dual vocals from tortured singer-songwriting genius Layne Staley and lead axe-slinger Jerry Cantrell. On their second LP, Dirt, they didn’t let up one bit. Exploding out of the gate with one of the most iconic intros of all time on ‘Them Bones’, the album is packed full of Staley’s twisted self-reflective lyrics and Cantrell’s mastery of lead guitarwork. ‘Dam That River’ is one of the most instantly pummelling tracks throughout all of hard rock music, yet the softer feel of ‘Rooster’, ‘Rain When I Die’ and ‘Would?’ propelled this into the masterpiece category.
For The Bin:
Revelation Theory Truth Is Currency (2005) As with any major musical movement, over time you end up with a whole host of copycat detractors who dilute what said movement originally stood for. As grunge emerged to rebel against polished, consumerist rock, sadly there were bands that took the most basic ideas of its sound and diluted it for a mass audience, killing the mindset behind the entire movement. For every serviceably harmless Nickelback, there are a hundred Revelation Theories, trying their best to conjure up some ‘attitude’ through four chords on a down-tuned guitar whilst someone tries to convince you they’re actually angry about the thousands of dollars they’re raking in. Bollocks.
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Recommended download: ‘The Comedown’
Recommended download: ‘Electric’
Recommended download: ‘November Song’
adouken! are one of those rare bands that manage to combine the ever popular drum and bass music with the flare of a rock band, making them popular with both the mainstream music fans and rock fans alike; a feat only achieved by the likes of The Prodigy, Pendulum and Sonic Boom Six. The group’s first album, 2008’s Music For An Accelerated Culture, was hailed as being at the forefront of the scene but their sophomore release For the Masses was felt to be a weak offering compared to the originality and promise that shone though on their debut, leaving many fans disappointed. Their latest album should see them win back most of their fans and gain plenty of new ones, as the album has a much more mature sound to their previous releases, with James Smith’s voice sounding better than ever. Opener ‘The Vortex’ is a strong start, with Smith’s angry vocals adding a sense of urgency to this anthemic track. ‘Bad Signal’, which contains a Kim Wilde soundbite from her hit ‘Keep Me Hanging On’, gives plenty of lyrical examples of how social media has seeped into our everyday lives. The track that is likely to have the broadest appeal is probably ‘The Comedown’. It begins with just a simple guitar melody and Smith singing the chorus, but it’s when the beat eventually drops that fans will really get into it. Hadouken! deserve every bit of success they achieve, and with an album as strong as this they are certain to get it. It won’t be long until these songs are being blasted out in clubs across the country with thousands of people, including me, singing along to every word.
Sarah McIntyre
he Men’s third album, New Moon, sees the Brooklyn band continue to veer away from their punk rock roots, and not entirely in a good way. While last year’s Open Your Heart saw the band dabbling in country rock, here they’ve immersed themselves entirely: the first half of the record is a Frankenstein’s monster of cowpunk, enthusiastically stitched together if not especially original. There are shambling saloon-bar piano loops and strained blasts of harmonica; twangy chords hammered out over rattling drums that you can practically hear the dust rising off. ‘Half Angel Half Light’ could easily be mistaken for a beaten-up Mumford bootleg, and you’d be forgiven for thinking ‘The Seeds’ was a long-lost Rodriguez track. There’s a hopeful moment when the grungepunk of ‘The Brass’ and lead single ‘Electric’ tears through this lonely Western landscape with the force of a hurricane, but this unfortunately this proves to be only a momentary foray into classic Men territory, before the album recedes back into the dusty realms of self-indulgent country rock. The production doesn’t help: I’m all for a bit of lo-fi fuzz, but New Moon sounds like it’s been recorded in your old school dinner hall, guitars and drums and vocals colliding into each other to create an echoey white noise that even the best riffs struggle to slice through. The Men’s new bourbon-‘n’-beards direction works when combined with their old punk rock energy, as on ‘Freaky’ and ‘Without A Face’, but all too often the songs just sound like lethargic Neil Young parodies. All in all, New Moon sounds more like a joke taken much too far than a serious album.
Kate Bennett
aturity is often overrated. Many bands who approach their second album with a ‘mature sound’ find themselves falling over proverbial cliffs: we’re looking at you, Duffy, MGMT, et al. If done right, however, the mature album can be a thing of beauty, and Stornoway have done just that with Tales From Terra Firma. I should say, this is by no means a pop album: the band aren’t expecting mainstream success with songs which are all between five and twelve minutes in length. You won’t find catchy hooks here, but you will find an hour and a half of wonderful vignettes, which feel like a warm cross-country car journey on a rainy day. If debut Beachcomber’s Windowsill was Stornoway’s springtime album, Tales... is their autumnal effort. Surprisingly, the album is slow to start. The melancholy yearning expressed in the epic soundscapes of ‘You Take Me As I Am’ and ‘Farewell Appalachia’ becomes lost in itself. However, things start to pick up midway through, with the ELOesque showiness and crystalline harmonies of ‘Invite To Eternity’. ‘Hook, Line, Sinker’ provides a weird, but wonderful taste of synth-folk, and the last four tracks really bring the album into its own; lead single ‘Knock Me On The Head’ sounds better with every listen, packing more into seven minutes than many acts can fit on an entire LP. “I’m a scientist with far too many metaphors”, sings vocalist Brian Briggs on the reflective ‘The Great Procrastinator’, and the album bows out with the sublime ‘November Song’, sealing its status as an understated modern classic. Sometimes it’s hard growing up, but Stornoway have shown us all how it’s done.
Alex Bell
The Courier
localmusic.29
Tuesday 12 March 2013
thecourieronline.co.uk/music c2.music@ncl.ac.uk | @courier_music
sceNE: Let’s Buy Happiness
Delving into the region’s exploding music scene, Dominique Daly brings you a band that have found themselves at its very forefront to become its most promising proponent
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he North East’s ‘happy accident’ is one way to describe Newcastle five-piece Let’s Buy Happiness, whose formation was born out of two childhood friends and their ‘realisation’ that guitarist James was not the only musically talented Hall sibling. “Sarah [James’ sister] had a great voice so she started singing in the band and things kicked on from there”. If ever there was a hidden treasure to be stumbled upon it was the talent of lead singer Sarah Hall, whose wistful tones have been described as containing an “angelic purity”. Taking their name from the literary ideals of American novelist John Steinbeck, the band revel in the idea that we are taught to live our lives in a state of consumerism which can only leave a person void of the happiness that they truly strive for; a happiness which has been found within music for this band and their dedicated fan base who adore what Let’s Buy Happiness call “a nice sound that we enjoy playing”. From humble beginnings playing local shows around Newcastle, the band soon began to make a stir on the North East scene, their atmospheric guitar based sound impossible to ignore. Within one year of their very first gig together they were catapulted into the limelight and the success which follows, finding themselves playing the John Peel stage at Glastonbury Festival 2010 alongside established bands such as Mumford & Sons and The XX, as well as having the pleasure of being invited to the Maida Vale studios twice by BBC Radio 6 Music and BBC Radio 1. However, not the kind to let success change their minds, processes or ethos, they have stuck closely to their mantra of hard work. “Our overall goal is to be able to release music
and tour it around the world, and when we’re doing that we’ll know we’ve been successful.” And tour around the world is what they have done - no longer bound to the River Tyne, the band have set sail into the sun, performing what they have dubbed their most memorable live experience at SoundLabs festival in Caste Basso, Italy. “The stage was on top of a mountain and we played during sunset.” It’s a scene which was memorable for both band and audience alike, with the beauty of the sunscape encapsulating and complementing the hollow timbre of Sarah Hall’s strikingly emotive vocals. With their first EP No Hot Ashes, self-released
in November 2009, receiving national success, the stage has been set for even greater things to come for Let’s Buy Happiness. New material released by the band shows signs of a musical maturity, honesty and a development of sound, which they have described as “more atmospheric/dark”. Returning with the single ‘Works Better On Paper’ in June 2012, it is abundantly clear that the year set aside by the band has been time well spent, delivering a moving, melancholic, confessional, with a soothing honesty that only time to delve into the lyrical process can give a band. This new-found musical wisdom will be channelled in their anticipated forthcoming debut al-
bum. “Our debut album documents what and who we think we are perfectly - at least for the moment. Our producer Ian Grimble has done a great job and we couldn’t be happier with how it’s sounding.” Proudly hailing from the North East, Let’s Buy Happiness have offered some encouraging words of advice for those who follow in their footsteps and aim to break the Newcastle music scene: “Get in the practice room and write and play until you’re well-rehearsed enough to start live shows.” Ultimately, it is guidance not to be treated lightly, as it’s clear that this band is set to storm further ahead in their musical triumph.
The Academic Playlist
This week, we discover the music tastes of your favourite lecturers in the School of History, Classics & Archaeology
Dr. Keith Brewster
Dr. Fergus Campbell
Dr. Ben Houston
Dr. Matt Perry
Lecturer in Latin Am. History
Reader in Social & Cultural Hist.
Lecturer in Modern US History
Reader in Labour History
What music did you grow up to? Like most self respecting sixth formers of my generation, music such as Genesis (prior to, and just after, the Peter Gabriel split), Deep Purple, Yes, & Free. I also listened to folk(ish) type music – less of the bushy beard and cupped-ear brigade and more Steeleye Span and Fairport Convention.
What music did you grow up to? My parents were both Irish so there was a lot of Irish music in the house but my Dad was also pretty fond of Jim Reeves and Perry Como. First album was AC/DC’s If You Want Blood, bits of which I still really like but also hate.
What music did you grow up to? At a very young age I remember owning cassette tapes of Huey Lewis and The News, along with the ‘Rock Me Amadeus’ single from Falco. This obviously left serious mental scars. The Cure, Stone Roses, Jesus Jones, Depeche Mode, and Peter Gabriel smoothed out my maturing process.
What music did you grow up to? My older brothers were into Jimi Hendrix, The Clash, The Stranglers and Sex Pistols so I remember listening to that. My first single was The Specials’ ‘Rat Race’ (ironically given the lyrics) and first album was Joy Division’s Still.
What music soundtracked your time at university? Distinct touchstones include: Underworld’s Dubnobasswithmyheadman; The Charlatans, Tellin’ Stories, Afghan Whigs, 1965; anything by James or Chemical Brothers, and (because I went to school in Memphis and had a blues phase) The North Mississippi All-Stars and lots of B.B. King.
What music soundtracked your time at college and university? I saw Siouxsie, Hoodoo Gurus and The Cramps in my first term. In Lyon on my year abroad, I listened to Le Berurier Noir, best live act I’ve seen. Steel Pulse, New Model Army, The Fall and Redskins deserve a mention.
What music are you listening to at the moment? On heavy rotation, currently: Bonobo, Black Sands; Ryan Adams, Ashes and Fire; Talib Kweli, Quality; Thievery Corporation, Culture of Fear; TV on the Radio, Dear Science; Ulrich Schnauss, A Strangely Isolated Place; Feist, The Reminder.
What music are you listening to at the moment? I’m old and boring now. I listen to the Be Good Tanyas and Jarabe de Palo. My last concert was the Buzzcocks but I couldn’t hear for two days afterwards. It’s all downhill after the age of 21.
What music soundtracked your time at university? This was heavily influenced by the environment of my PhD research in Mexico. So any and everything from Mexican pop, to ballads & ranchero (country music).
What music soundtracked your time at university? I got sense in 1984 when I found The Smiths in a Woolworths’ bargain bin in Penrith for 19p. Later I got Hatful Of Hollow, still my favourite record. When I went to university in 1988 I was still into all things indie: REM, Hüsker Dü and Sonic Youth.
What music are you listening to at the moment? I’m now of an age when being able to make out the words is important. Mary Chapin Carpenter fits into that category; along with a wonderful Mexican duo whose music I’ve only recently discovered. The duo, Mexicanto, is a Mexican Simon and Garfunkel with some wonderful tunes and a clarity of diction to die for.
What music are you listening to at the moment? I’ve got bored with a lot of the old rock and pop stuff I was previously into. I’m exploring ‘classical’ music, especially Beethoven’s late quartets and I love Steve Reich. Most recently I’ve picked up ‘Get the Blessing’ - the rhythm section of Portishead playing with Ornette Coleman inspired trumpet and saxophone players - very exciting.
30.musicfeatures
Tuesday 12 March 2013
Jesus talks...
The Courier
Controversial, cocky, cringe worthy – Kanye West is perhaps one of the most outspoken pop culture figures of the decade. Online Music Editor Sophie Coletta takes a look at some of the rapper’s best and worst ranting moments...
I am God’s vessel!
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here was a time when a common reaction to the cloud of unyielding controversy that conceals itself in the human form of Kanye West could perhaps be best visually summarised by Beyoncé’s own reaction to the rapper’s onstage interruption of Taylor Swift. At the 2009 MTV VMAs, as he finished his interloper’s spiel on how Bey’s ‘Single Ladies’ actually boasted ‘the best video of all time,’ the camera cut to the singer, whose graceful loser face had been swiftly replaced by one of disbelief. Her mouth hung open slightly, eyes revealing a hint of embarrassed familiarity, and an exasperated sigh of ‘Oh Kanye’ escaped her lips before a visible shudder of recoil reverberated through her body. Nowadays Kanye’s public outbursts are usually met with an ‘oh no not again’ eye roll, the same kind you might give to the news of Katie Price announcing her latest engagement, or to Lindsay Lohan being accused of stealing another hundred thousand dollar necklace. At the end of last month, during two surprise shows in London, Kanye donned a straightjacket and began a series of rants over the piano outro of ‘Clique’, gushing comments on everything from the Grammys (“tell me again why the Grammys can suck my dick”) to Justin Timberlake’s ‘Suit & Tie’ (“I got love for Hov, but I ain’t fucking with that ‘Suit & Tie’”), to the US President (“I don’t give a fuck about Obama”). The following night he likened himself to Steve Jobs, Michelangelo, Basquiat, Picasso, and Walt Disney, eventually erupting into a chorus of screaming during the encore and hurling his microphone into the crowd before making his final exit. As his European tour continued, so did the ranting, each breaching different topics yet following the same orchestrated form, embracing the same impassioned anger. It feels a lot more theatrical now, a far cry from the ad-libbing on a live televised Hurricane Katrina benefit concert in 2005, in which West veered away from the autocue, instead embarking on an unscripted outburst that criticised the media for depicting black people as thieves, ultimately pointing the finger at then president George Bush for the delay in aid for victims because he “doesn’t care
My greatest pain in life is that I will never be able to see myself perform live about black people”. Bush later referred to the moment as the most disgusting moment of his presidency, and Kanye consequently apologised, but the moment was forever immortalised on the Internet. Whether or not Kanye was out of line is down to personal interpretation, but it’s hard to deny the potency of a moment of unrestrained empathy, of raw sentiment - particularly one that represented so many unheard American voices - being displayed on national television. It was over-dramatised, a stunt, yes, but we mustn’t forget the significance of a black man openly voicing his opinions in a country that has a long, turbulent history of struggle for both freedom of speech and racial equality. Eight years later and the same uninhibited passion has been harnessed into something marketable; something that can be brought on stage to a crowd of people wielding camera phones, something that has media outlets fervently blogging transcripts within hours of its occurrence.
But who hasn’t overrun their mouth once in a while? Defending Kanye West is no easy undertaking, and I’m by no means going to go entirely Chris Crocker on everyone here. Let’s not forget that this is a man who appeared on the cover of Rolling Stone magazine dressed as a pre-crucifixion Jesus, a man who non-ironically wears red suits, who made horrendous declarations about abortion, and who once compared himself to Hitler. But who hasn’t overrun their mouth every once in a while? Who hasn’t been to their local, had one too many and made an regrettable remark that is to be winced over repeatedly come the next morning? Who hasn’t tried to show off in front of friends and said something ridiculous to get attention? Who hasn’t had the urge to whack on caps lock and let all hell break loose through their fingertips to an audience
I’m like a tree. I feed the branches of the people of bewild e r e d Tw i t t e r followers? OK, not ever yone, but I can almost guarantee any ‘controversial’ statement made by Kanye has been uttered or at the very least fleetingly graced the mind of many an everyday person at some point, somewhere. There was a time when popular culture was filled with outspoken characters: the Gallagher brothers, Morrissey, Kurt Cobain, Eminem, each unreservedly throwing around the contents of their minds without a care for public reaction or album sales. These days, figures in the public eye are notoriously PR controlled, with the occasional slip of the tongue causing an unreasonable outbreak of outrage. Wouldn’t it be great if a member of One Direction spontaneously uttered a ridiculous sentiment that had been floating around the depths of their manufactured mind, rather than regurgitating the usual load of management propaganda? Yes, Kanye West is vain, egotistical, and impetuous, but he’s also wild, unwarranted, an example of the unbridled nature of the workings of the human mind in its most natural and flawed state. Above all, he is a breath of fresh air in the conformed, tongue-biting contemporary world we all live in.
The Courier
science.31
Tuesday 12 March 2013
Science Editor: James Simpson
Badgers: TB or not TB?
Last week the Environmental Secretary announced a controversial badger cull in an attempt to control the spread of bovine Tuberculosis. Juliet Dunstone looks at the surrounding issues and what it means for us
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his has been received with a mixture of support and ridicule; on one hand government ministers and cattle farmers are procull, as they think it will reduce the spread of TB and stop the needless slaughter of infected cattle. However, alternatively environmental groups, independent scientists and the majority of the general public are all anti-cull, believing it will only result in lots of dead badgers. You can understand why any farmer would be pro-cull; TB is very bad for cattle farmers, and
badgers do spread TB. Cases of TB in cattle can have devastating effects on herds. Due to the highly infectious nature of the disease, once a cow is infected it must be killed straight away; meaning if an outbreak of TB occurs, the farm can lose a huge number of livestock. Despite there existing a vaccine, it isn’t 100% effective and there is currently no way to distinguish an infected cow from an immunised cow, which could obviously prove disastrous. The reason for the controversy surrounding the
cull is it has not actually proved to be particularly effective. It reduces the number of badgers surrounding a particular farm, and therefore slightly reduces the chance of badgers interacting with cows and spreading TB, it also disrupts the badgers’ social groups. This means they leave the area to establish new ones, and spread the disease to new farms instead. Culling also does not eradicate TB in badgers, just reduces the population, so there’s always a chance that TB will rear its ugly head in the next generation and continue to terrorise farmers. Now, if Edward Jenner (he invented immunisations) had proposed shooting a large percentage of the population, who may or may not have had smallpox, in a bid to protect the rest of us from the disease he probably wouldn’t now be heralded as “the man who has saved more lives than any other”. I’m not talking about ‘badger rehab’ just a widespread vaccination programme to try eliminating TB in badgers before they can start to spread it to cattle in the first place. Obviously there are more complex factors at play here, such as cost, ease of implementation and overall efficiency but I really can’t see how culling badgers can be the final longterm solution. Whatever your opinion of badgers; cute, snuffly little diggers; wise and elusive Wind in the Willows-esque creatures; the evil bunny-eating Mr Tods described by Beatrix Potter (my views entirely); or TB spreading pests that need to be shot, this badger cull definitely is going ahead. There’s still ample opportunity to protest the general idea of badger culling though, so if you feel strongly about the issue please feel free to cover yourself in black and white paint and march.
Dangerous dentures and curious canines Scientists recently reconstructed a 270 million year-old shark-like fish and discovered something strange about it’s teeth. Tom Lundy looks at some of the weird and wonderful teeth in the marine world The beauty of nature is that whatever function a living-thing requires for survival, natural selection can find a way of doing it. As far as Mother Nature is concerned, there’s no set rule on how to do anything, meaning life is full of weird and wonderful creatures! Sometimes, creatures show up with an extra dose of abnormal. While a creature resembling a shark doesn’t sound at all extraordinary, there is one unique feature which sets it aside – its spiralshaped set of teeth. As it turns out, marine animals possess a bizarre range of ivories. Take a look for yourself:
of:
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Brian May One of the bushiest and hairiest of all, Brian May, of the infamous Queen, stores a formidable scientific mind. To be Precise Brian’s brain, as well as creating years of classic rock songs guitar solos and riffs, lolls over astrophysics when music isn’t making the money. In 2007 Brian May completed his dissertation on “A Survey of Radial Velocities in the Zodiacal Dust Cloud”. There’s a catchy name. for a song.
Brian Cox The now established television science series presenter Brian Cox is more famous for being a BBC prime time science presenter than a pop star in D:REAM. Brian has got an impressive scientific background. Professor Brian Cox does a lot more than music and presenting. He is a Particle Physicist and currently is a Professor at Manchester University. He has heavy involvement in the ATLAS experiment at the Large Hadron Collider.
The Moray Eel’s hidden jaw Straight from science fiction, the Moray eel contains a second set of miniature jaws located deep in its throat, much like the Xenomorph in Alien. It has the normal jaw you’d expect of an eel, and once this has grabbed prey, the second jaw fires out from the throat to drag it to death and digestion. The horror-movie style of these gnashers earns the Moray Eel first place on the list.
Sheepshead fish teeth
Skirting the line between reality and fantasy is the Narwhal. “The unicorn of the sea”, this Arctic whale is distinguished by its singular 9-foot-long tusk. Although this tusk resembles the horn of the mythical Unicorn, it’s not a horn but actually the upper-left canine tooth. This grows after its first year, and typically only in males (very rarely in females too). It’s straight but spiracle, and scientists aren’t exactly sure why they have them.
Sharks eat things. It’s what they do; it’s what they’ve always done. Form follows function, and as a result they’ve evolved a truly astounding set of dentures. Teeth are vital to the way sharks operate, so they need to have a ready supply of sharp, healthy pearly-whites. The teeth are arranged in rows, and number up to as many as 70 in the mouth of a Great White. However, only the first few rows are used – the rest are spares. When a tooth is lost, the teeth behind move up a row to fill the gap and a new one starts growing at the back. In this manner,
scientists
to consist of soft-bodied squid, making the teeth extremely effective.
The Narwhal’s horn
Shark-tooth conveyor belt
thecourieronline.co.uk/science c2.science@ncl.ac.uk
Art Garfunkel Let’s keep the hair curly but take off the length as we move to our next musical scientist, Art Garfunkel. Having a master’s degree in mathematics, during his musical success kept working on a Doctorate for maths education.
It’s not the length, placement or use of this fish’s teeth which is amazing – it’s whose teeth they eerily resemble: Yours. Sheepshead fish have a large set of teeth, which undeniably look like those of a human! As the fish itself is fairly normal looking, the effect is bizarre. Their stubby form can be attributed to their tough-shelled prey – clams.
Tom Scholz
sharks can ensure they always have a mean bite.
The Helicoprion’s spiral-saw
The 270 million year-old fish (mentioned earlier), has a set of teeth unlike any other. Located at the back of the lower jaw, the layout of the teeth most resembles that of a circular saw. The jaw closes and the “tooth saw”, in place of a tongue, spins front to back slashing the prey and dragging the pieces into the throat. The Helicoprion’s diet is thought
Illustrations by Zoe Molley
From the band that bought us ‘More Than A Feeling’ contained a monster of an engineer as well as a monster of rock. Tom Scholz specialised in Mechanical\ engineering in which he had a bachelor’s degree and a master’s degree. We can thank him for his work at Polaroid helping us to get almost instant physical photographs, whenever and wherever we want them, the wonders of science. Henry Camamile
32.tvlistings
Tuesday 12 March 2013
The Courier
TV Editor: Chris Taylor Online TV Editor: Ben Parkin
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Banks are trying to get more personal to the point where they probably want an invite to your Christmas dinner. Becca Price is having none of that! Poor old banks. They’ve suffered a bit of an image crisis these past few years. It’s not their fault. How can they make the British public see how cuddly and friendly they are? Their answer seems to be by making themselves look as un-bank-like as possible in their advertising campaigns. Let’s inspect the list: Halifax (experts at this ‘fun and friendly’ rubbish, with previous campaigns like the impossibly irritating radio team) have an over-the-top choir singing slow but uplifting cover versions, mixed with footage of their employees feeding the homeless, helping little old ladies across the road and curing lepers. It’s the same psychology behind NatWest making all their employees do compulsory monthly Community Service - our bank is run by absolute Samaritans who’ll make you a cup of tea if you want one, not Evil Bankers.
Lloyds adverts still take place in a bizarre cutesy cartoon world of sausage-nosed people buying nice things with their savings, all to the soundtrack of an opera singer dipping her toes in and out of a hot bath. Oh-a-oh-a-oh-uh-oh-uh-oh-uh-oh-ohah-ah-aaaahAAAAH. Barclays have decided that photos on your debit card are a way of making things ‘a bit less banky, and a bit more…well, you!’. There it is again. ‘Less banky’. They’ve also had a habit of having Stephen Merchant explain banking services with bumbling commentaries, because rambling on a bit is also ‘less banky’. HSBC has been pushing their ‘world’s local bank’ thing for a while, and so most of their ads are typically based around kindly Asian grandparents giving some photogenic children their pocket money. These kids then wisely keep their change in a piggy bank rather than giving it back to HSBC. Nationwide may technically be a building society instead of a bank, but my god, don’t they let you know it. ‘Feel that all banks are the same? There is an alternative…’ it says to a woman trapped in a terrifyingly twee world of pop-up-book paper cutouts and plinky-plonky acoustic music, as if they’re actually a hippy commune who barter with different flavours of herbal tea.
Banks are dull things. No matter how good your advert is, people will only process ‘BORING NUMBERS ABOUT MONEY’. You have to be imaginative to make it visually engaging. But it’s weird when they’re all pushing the image of ‘not a real bank’ - not like those bad banks on the news, the ones run by bankers. Nope. Our bank is just run by nice, slightly mumsy ladies called Linda. People only use us to pay for holidays and new puppies. We’re the nice one, and you can trust us.
Dexter
Fox, Monday 10pm
I
think any Dexter fan would agree with me when I say that seven was the most eagerly awaited season so far. The ending of season six saw Deb finally discovering Dexter’s murderous little habit by walking in on him plunging a knife into Travis’ chest. The amount of anticipation going into season seven left me worrying that it would fall short of my (exceedingly high) expectations, but it definitely did not disappoint. Initially, Dex tries to convince Deb that the Travis killing was a one-off accident; I think everyone expected the main storyline of season seven to be Deb slowly discovering more of Dexter’s misdeeds.
However, the writers dive straight in there, with Deb finding out that Travis wasn’t simply a one-off, but simply the last in a long string of murders that her brother had committed. Deb’s discovery of Dexter’s ‘dark-passenger’ allows for a pretty creepy “I’m in love with my brother” storyline to be developed further, and it’s this love for him (however grossly inappropriate) that stops her from ratting him out to the rest of the department. The introduction of Hannah McKay allows for the ‘can Dexter feel love?’ storyline to be explored. Both Dexter and Hannah are successful serial killers, so it was inevitable from the start that any relationship between them would end badly. However, their relationship adds new dimension to the plot in that it makes Dexter seem more human. Aside from the romance and these sister issues, as well as a mob boss chasing him wanting to
avenge the death of his gay lover, Dexter actually has other things to worry about. The net is closing around him as La Guerta starts her own investigation into him, based on her suspicions that he is the Bay Harbour Butcher. The minute the case was reopened, it was only going to end one of two ways: either she would end up dead or Dexter would end up behind bars. The latter comes painfully close when she manages to set him up, which led to the nail-biting finale and Deb joining ranks with Dex, as a killer. Overall, the series is, in my eyes, incredible. The plot could never be accused of being slow since there is so much going on and the cliff-hanger ending leaves me once again almost screaming in anticipation of season eight. I’m already counting down the days. Jenny Thyne
ITV, Saturday 8:15pm
The Cube
Sky Atlantic, Friday 9pm
Treme
Broadchurch
new series of The Cube begins again on ITV to fill the massive void that will be left from the end of the last series of sadly missed Saturday night favourite, Take Me Out. Phillip Schofield is back with his greenhouseesque cube to test and push the contestants to the limit of their endurance and concentration. The Cube itself is designed to be the host and gamespace for various mental and agility tests which prove difficult to many contestants who have to gamble the money they make by progressing to get to the next level. With the addition of This Morning host, Phillip Schofield, The Cube is elevated from teatime television to big, primetime stardom. With special celebrity editions of the show as well, The Cube has become somewhat of a challenge. It seems that almost everyone wants to have a go, to see if they have what it takes to win. What makes this show so popular, however, is the drama that is created (mainly by Schofield himself), and the fact that the viewers never really know if someone will ever ‘beat the cube’; only one man in the show’s history has fully achieved the glory of ‘beating the cube’ and that was double-Olympic gold medallist, Mo Farah. This begs the question then: if the cube can only be beaten by an Olympic champion, it must be pretty much impossible for the general public to triumph? If this is so, it does not stop people from tuning in week after week, yearning for someone to complete the game show. It must happen one day… maybe it’ll happen in this new series? Helen Daly
n 15 March, Sky Atlantic is finally airing the third season of Treme, a series which chronicles the lives of musicians, chefs, and general citizens of New Orleans as they try to rebuild their lives, homes, and uniquely enigmatic culture just three months after Hurricane Katrina. Shot on location and retaining an authenticity that’s often lost in the “must-watch!” melodramatic TV shows that entrench the midweek schedules, Treme walks the line between mundane and intensity in the best way possible, and the characters seem like people you could find if you walked through your local city instead of being a group of stereotypical caricatures that we expect to see in a lot of major HBO productions nowadays. Written by the same guys who gave us the critically-acclaimed series The Wire, it’s generally stayed under the radar of most major publications, with only the occasional highlight or mention. Although not achieving the cult status of particular shows which fly under the bracket of ‘mainstream’ (I’m looking at you, Fringe), Treme has still managed to gain a loyal following attached to the musically promiscuous premise. The musical numbers that tend to link between the storylines are incredibly well-written and completely lend themselves to such a distinctive setting. It’s sometimes hard to believe that you’re watching actors merely rattling off a script, and it’s a testament to the writers that it mirrors real life so believably. It’s definitely one to watch and marathon if you’re a newbie. Beth Durant
ormer Time Lord David Tennant is back on our screens, this time playing a detective in the new, highly anticipated murder mystery drama, Broadchurch. ITV’s new eight-part drama is set in Dorset and focuses on the lives of the residents of a small community who have to come to terms with the shock death of an eleven year old boy. David Tennant and Olivia Colman play detectives in the town and have to examine most of the residents, and at times, more secrets are revealed than they hoped for as it seems like many of the villagers have their own hidden pasts. More than just a simple murder mystery, the series aims to explore the individuals of the town and examine how they all deal with the shock of the death. Penned by Doctor Who writer, Chris Chibnall, the script is certain to be clever and intriguing, and with the help of some of his Who mates, the show is likely to be a mass success. With cast members such as Arthur Darvill, and Vicky McClure also involved, it is easy to see just why Broadchurch has attracted so much attention, at least among Whovians. This new headline drama looks set to be interesting, thought-provoking and stylistically pleasing, even being referred to as ITV’s answer to The Killing. Pretty big hype to live up to then, but with a star-studded cast and a reputable writer, I for one am intrigued to learn just what the mystery of Broadchurch really is.
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ITV, Monday 9pm
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Helen Daly
The Courier
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Tuesday 12 March 2013
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Bang! Zoom! Straight to the ‘toon
There was nothing quite like taking a sick day to watch cartoons all day because maths from 9am didn’t sound all too appealing. But are kids today still getting the same quality on their sick days as we got on ours? Sam Summers argues that, despite appearances, there are still some cartoon gems out there
T
he 1990s were, without a doubt, the golden age of television animation. If you don’t realise how lucky you are to have grown up around Dexter’s Lab, The Powerpuff Girls and Ren and Stimpy, a quick flick through your online TV guide of choice should throw you into a fit of tearful gratitude. It’s a godless netherworld of unfunny DreamWorks spinoffs, Pokémon species you’ve never seen in your life, and Ben 10 after Ben 10 after Ben 10. Bloody Ben 10 everywhere. Alright, they stick SpongeBob on every once in a while as some sort of appeasement policy, but I’d honestly rather watch the terrifying porno SpongeKnob SquareNuts than another SpongeBob rerun at this point. Worse still, the kids’ channels these days are almost completely overrun with - *gasp* - live action programming. Don’t they understand? If I wanted to see real peo-
ple I’d go outside, instead of locking myself in my room all day watching cartoons! Fortunately, in this age of Netflix, it’s not hard to revisit the good old days. I can’t be the only student who finds themselves wasting days on end sitting through full seasons of Beast Wars or Spider-Man: The Animated Series. It’s easy, as an adult, or whatever, to find yourself crying every time a Digimon dies, fully empathising with the plight of Johnny Bravo, or laughing your arse off at the mature jokes you swear they managed to sneak into Rugrats. The cartoons of the ‘90s were so good because they really were entertaining for both children and adults – or, at the very least, students. Looking back, you can find yourself wishing that you were a student, instead of a child, in the ‘90s, so you could have seen them like this the first time around. Well, you’ve missed the boat on that one, but
don’t let that keep you from the host of kids’ shows with adult leanings still being made today. Admittedly, Nickelodeon have pretty much given up on ever making anything of quality ever again, but Disney and Cartoon Network have recently begun to once again embrace their biggest periphery demographic, students. The best-remembered cartoons to come out of the ‘90s were the fifteen minute comedy shows on Cartoon Network and Nickelodeon, and that format has really seen a renaissance in the last couple of years, with CN’s Adventure Time leading the way. Already a cult classic, the high fantasy exploits of Jake the Dog and Finn the Human are an obsession waiting to happen for anybody. Over on Disney XD, Gravity Falls is a hilarious Twin Peaks parody which manages to tackle childhood issues without being condescending. Also, Coolio is in it. The ‘90s also saw an explosion in action-heavy superhero cartoons, often with complex, continuing storylines, most notably Batman, Spider-Man and X-Men. Following in this tradition is Disney’s Avengers: Earth’s Mightiest Heroes, quite possibly the greatest superhero show of all time, with welldeveloped characters and sprawling fight scenes to rival anything in the recent film. Finally, no matter what else is happening in the world of animation, Scooby Doo simply refuses to die. Luckily, Scooby Doo: Mystery Incorporated is the best incarnation of the show by roughly a gajillion miles. It’s still the same old format – petty criminals with a gift for lateral thinking dress up as monsters and are caught by a dog – but now there’s an overarching plotline connecting the mysteries, and perennial straight-man Freddie has been transformed into one of the greatest comedy characters in the history of television. So there you go, a whole bunch of new cartoons to waste your days away with, every one of them as good as anything you remember as a kid. Have fun keeping real life at bay.
Can we have our money now?
Product placement is slowly being injected into UK TV as production costs go up and advertisers realise noone watches adverts anymore unless they go viral (looking at you, moonwalking pony!) But is it a good thing? Alice Comyn explores whether product placement takes away from the experience of watching a show
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Top
TV alter egos It’s always fun to pretend to be someone else - don’t pretend you haven’t tried out a new persona on some unsuspecting reveller during your post-night out Munchies. TV shows are full of great alter egos TV Editor Chris Taylor lists his favourites
Max Power AKA Homer Simpson There are three ways to do things: The right way, the wrong way and the Max Power way, even if the Max Power way is the wrong way but faster! Created after a TV show depicts a bumbling idiot character by the name of Homer Simpson, with the catchphrase “Uh-oh, Spaghettios”, Homer legally changes his name to Max Power in order to remove the stigma of his old name. It’s the name you want to touch, but you mustn’t touch!
Art Vandelay AKA George Costanza Art Vandelay made his first appearance in just the third episode of Seinfeld. He begins as simply a name of someone George and Jerry are pretending to meet as they “stake out” a woman, but swiftly George takes over the persona of Art, fulfilling George’s dream of becoming an architect. Throughout Art’s span, the name becomes associated with many careers, all to get whoever is using the name out of a sticky situation.
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roduct placement is an advertising technique where companies pay money to broadcasters to have their brand or products placed within some programmes. Product placements can appear in everything from TV and films to videogames and books. Paid product placements have been legal on UK television since February 2011. However, some kind of programmes such as children’s shows and news channels remain out of bounds for product placement. There are also certain products which are banned from being placed in programmes or have restrictions on their use, including cigarettes, alcohol, gambling, medicines, baby milk, weapons and food and drink products that are high in fat, salt or sugar. Studies show that product placement is on the rise and is set to benefit virtually everyone in the media value chain. Consumers now tend to switch channels during ad breaks meaning that these traditional TV ads are no longer as effective. Product placements have also been proven to dramatically shift TV viewer’s perception of a brand and significantly increase sales. The most successful examples of product placement include the placement of Reese’s Pieces in the movie E.T., which caused sales of the product to rocket. Recent examples include Hollyoaks’ contract with L’oreal and Nokia Lumia. As part of the deal Hollyoaks characters continually use the products during the show, while Nokia and L’oreal ads also appear at various points in the series, such as the village bus stop. Samsung also signed a deal with X-Factor marking the first time the show has featured a paid-for product placement. Contestants were filmed talking to their mentors on Gal-
Bert Macklin AKA Andy Dwyer Andy Dwyer, Parks & Recreation’s adorable idiot, is known for his abundance of enthusiasm but throw on his aviator shades and he becomes tough-as-nails FBI agent Bert Macklin. Created to deal with the Halloween miscreant Greg Pikitis, Bert evolves from simply a name into Andy’s reason why he wants to join the police force. Bert may be tough, but the puppy dog sensibilities of Andy still shine through.
axy smartphones and recording video diaries of their X-Factor experiences on the product. However, the show was criticised by some viewers for an overuse of product placement. It can be argued that product placement benefits the consumer in that this subtle form of advertising is less invasive, so much so that the consumer will probably be unaware it is even happening. Consumers are inundated with ads on a daily basis, from the TV to billboards, the radio, leaflets shoved through the mailbox. Try watching some-
thing online, you have to sit through five minutes of adverts first. Try browsing the internet, and adverts will pop on from nowhere. It is impossible to escape the constant barrage of advertisements that consumers encounter on a daily basis. Perhaps then maybe product placement is the future for advertising? Benefiting both businesses and consumers, it may mark the end of expensive and long TV ad breaks, annoying radio commercial and internet pop ups. There is definitely a lot to be gained by all parties from a well-placed product.
Mrs Featherbottom AKA Tobias Fünke With Tobias becoming slowly separated from his wife and daughter, he uses the brain only the finest therapist could have and, essentially, re-enacts the entire plot of Mrs Doubtfire. So, on goes the prosthetic nose and the ridiculous English accent (“anyone for a banger in the mouth?”) Cue falling through glass tables and having everyone immediately realise that Featherbottom is actually Fünke.
34.filmfeatures
Tuesday 12 March 2013
The Courier
Film Editors: Hayley Hamilton and Sam Hopkins Online Film Editor: Chris Binding
Top
5
Fairy tales: reinvention of a genre?
What is it that makes fairy tales continually appealing to both children and adults? Modern Gothic Films Aisha Din investigates this timeless genre and its resurgence in Hollywood
5 Van Helsing Despite a mediocre script, some hammy supporting performances and a bit too much CGI, Hugh Jackman’s turn as Stoker’s hunter still creates a wonderfully gothic feel, with labyrinthine castles, dark streets and most of Hammer’s backlog of characters thrown in.
4 Solomon Kane While not set in a traditionally Gothic setting, Solomon Kane evokes a certain proto-gothic feel; a sense of unease and dread permeates the film, showing that something is dreadfully wrong in England. Ignoring the CGI demon at the end, the film’s use of atmosphere, weather and general darkness makes it a rewarding dark horse.
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Hansel and Gretel, Red Riding Hood, Cinderella and the Frog Prince are all old fairy tales; short stories that involve magical creatures such as gnomes, goblins, elves, dwarves, mermaids, witches and wizards. It seems these stories have lasted through time; in recent years they have been given a modern twist and remain with us today. In some cases movies are given the Disney treatment or ‘Disn e y f i c a t i o n’, where they are cleaned up from all the mess and dirt and put into colourful surroundings with music, hope and comedy. This is true with movies such as Princess and the Frog, Cinderella, Beauty and Beast, Tangled and Snow White. When comparing the Princess and the Frog to the original The Frog Prince, the frog is thrown against a wall in disgust by the princess and is transformed into a prince in that act. In the original Rapunzel, her locks are cut by
the wicked witch and the prince is blinded leaving Rapunzel pregnant in the wilderness. In some cases, as with the latest Twilight craze, fairy tales are more sexualised, stylised and generally try to appeal to an older demographic than the Disney kids. This is true with Snow White and the Huntsman, Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters, Beastly, Red Riding Hood and A Cinderella Story. They give them a twist which is sometimes more violent or bloody and often use devices like guns or phones. S i m i l a r l y, they use surroundings like high school and the heroine is stronger and more intelligent than the original. In doing this they try to appeal to teenagers who look to these movies not as childish fairy tales, (which they probably associate with Disney), but as fantasy worlds with beautiful strong
Oscar bait: worth the wait?
Interview With The Vampire While perhaps best known for Brad Pitt’s look of extreme toothache, Interview with a Vampire captured a more modern spirit of the gothic. Unarguably influential on Twilight, Interview... still manages to pack in its fair share of horror, suspense and drama, as Pitt tries to overcome his relationship with his progenitor, Lestat (Cruise).
In light of the Oscar ceremony, Rollo Kirkman looks at the tiresome predictability of the Academy
women and handsome men. Needless to say, these couples always get together at the end. However all these fairy tales have gone through an interesting and uplifting transformation. The original Red Riding Hood involved cannibalism or the girl being eaten by the wolf. The original Hansel and Gretel involved child slavery, abandonment and murder. In these versions the protagonist is more streetsmart, thus making the escape and the journey to justice more action-packed. These new modern versions of the fairy tales seek to keep the same fantasy elements of witches, goblins and dragons but make them more evil, realistic and show the true danger behind such things. New stories are not being formed, as the originals are so good and a twist can be put on them. The point is that everyone knows about the originals and that they fall into the category of ‘fairy tales’, which seems to make them cute rather than harmful. These revamps make them what modern audiences want - a bloody, slightly-comedic mess that challenges the characters in a world that is not our own so the ‘anything is possible’ idea works. In these worlds we don’t mind strange creatures being quirky and annoying because it’s part of the charm; take the dwarves in Snow White and the Huntsman with their odd accents, or in Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters, their new found helper provides comic relief, falling over stupidly and asking silly questions. The modern fairy tale is something to be rejoiced as to re-imagine a ‘familiar’ world in different ways keeps these traditional stories alive. Illustrations: Isabelle Owens
WIN!
It’s competition time again! This time, win tickets for pulpy film noir thriller The Paperboy
2 Underworld A visual feast of bleakness, gothic architecture and a slightly overwhelming blue filter, Underworld offers a stylish, meticulously planned-out view of a centuries old war between vampires and werewolves. The film is made by the supporting cast of Bill Nighy and Michael Sheen.
1 Pan’s Labyrinth Again, not the classic Gothic setting, but Del Toro’s depiction of the Spanish Civil War as a chilling real life contrast to the threats of the supernatural only accentuate the tension, suspense and horror of the film.
Rollo Kirkman
So, awards season is finally over, and we can review the biggest of the big: the Oscars. Surprisingly, the Oscars did manage to avoid a total shambles, although their method of dealing with controversy and protest still remains a marker of the somewhat rigid nature of the Academy. Still, in terms of baby steps, it’s not the worst of starts. The wins were mostly justified, but overall, it just got a bit predictable this year. In terms of Best Picture, Argo’s victory is perhaps not entirely surprising. The majority of the other front-runners were either less consistent (both Les Miserables and Lincoln picking up some flack) or too controversial (Zero Dark Thirty, Django Unchained) to win, and Argo has been sweeping the awards ceremonies lately. Given the snubs for direction in the forms of Affleck, Tarentino and Bigelow, one should question whether Ang Lee’s victory would still have occurred given different competition, but that again should not take away from the winners. The acting awards were, for the most part, unsurprising. Day Lewis and Hathaway were shoeins and Waltz’ performance in Django is, in my eyes, superior to his turn in Inglourious Basterds.
As much as I’d have liked Chastain to hold off the Lawrence juggernaut for at least another year, I’m not complaining too much. Down the table, the lack of surprise was yet more palpable. Pixar picked up another win with Brave, Adele for Skyfall, Amour for foreign film, visuals to Life of Pi and the rest scattered around equally around the crowd. However, when looking down the lists, one does see a slightly more worrying pattern. For instance, only four of the twenty nominees for best actress were first time nominees. Similarly, only one film nominated for best picture didn’t win an award, while only two mainstream (i.e. not documentary, animated, or short) films picked up awards without best picture nominations (Skyfall and Anna Karenina, both of which could have graced the final best picture slot). How can you interpret this trend? I see it as the fact that we’re increasingly seeing studios becoming better at creating Oscar bait. While for some franchises that is perhaps a good thing (Skyfall, for instance), it can also be seen as a sign of stagnation, which is very worrying for Hollywood.
From the director of Precious comes the Palme D’or-listed film noir thriller The Paperboy, a story of murder, seduction and Nicole Kidman in a blonde wig with a Southern drawl. Oh, and Zac Efron doing not very much singing or dancing. We have two tickets to see it at the Tyneside Cinema. Who played an older version of The Paperboy star Zac Efron in 17 Again? a) Matthew Perry b) John Cusack c) Brad Pitt Email your answer to editor.union@ncl.ac.uk before midday on Friday 15 to be in with a chance of winning. The Paperboy opens at Tyneside Cinema on Friday 15 March
The Courier
reviewsfilm.35
Tuesday 12 March 2013
thecourieronline.co.uk/film c2.film@ncl.ac.uk | @Courier_Film
Stoker (18) After the death of her husband, unstable widow Evie Stoker (Kidman) invites his estranged brother, Charles (Goode), to stay. A complete mystery to daughter India (Wasikowska), what begins as an instant loathing of Charles turns into a much deeper and darker relationship. Intent on gaining the approval of India, the paths of Charles and India intertwine leading to very grave consequences. Chan-Wook Park, mastermind of Oldboy and the acclaimed Vengeance trilogy, has produced his first all English production and it is a superb one. In his relatively short career, Chan-Wook has created a legacy for himself. Although legacy is a strong word, we have come to expect a certain kind of film from him, films founded on premises of brutality which have lasting effects post-watch. These expectations are never uniformly presented and it is here that Park is assuredly deserved of auteurship. Stoker is no different, and from the opening shot we are thrust into a world of mystery and strangeness, void of all emotion yet full of intensity. There is a distinct numbness to the film and the entire world created within it, one that is both disturb-
ing but equally engaging. You may watch through squinted eyes or through your fingers, but you won’t look away. There is clear purpose to this film: great precision in every aspect. So precise that the film cannot be imagined without a single one. Every frame, every flash of colour, every look of horror and intrigue has meaning. The care that has been taken in making this film is obvious, but the real force of what is on screen comes from that same care being taken to create. Stoker is nothing short of a horror. Not a gory, blood-fuelled adrenaline rush, but a horror that silently creeps under your skin and is truly uncomfortable at times. The script, a sapling born from the meadows of Wentworth Miller’s mind, is highly effective and works as an anchor for the dark mood created by Chan-Wook’s direction. Few words are wasted and real expression is left to the looks offered between characters; the crazy eyes and the morbid stares are the greater purveyors of evil and conundrum. But with a film as intricate as this, great responsibility rests on the cast, and they do not disappoint.
Each adds something extra to the mix- be it the broody, unflinching persona of India, the charming, intoxicating nature of uncle Charles, or the volatility of Evie. With every interaction the plot thickens, forcing us deeper and deeper down the rabbit hole. The film takes place almost entirely within the huge manor house of the Stokers, and with the manor house full of secrets all too familiar to the horror genre, it is testament to the successes of Chan-Wook and the ensemble cast that Stoker feels fresh.
VERDICT: Incestuous, frightening and brilliantly engaging, Chan-Wook Park has created nothing short of a masterpiece. A wonderful example of the scope and effectiveness that remains within the horror genre, given a mind as remarkable as Chan-Wook Park’s.
Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters (15)
Arbitrage (15)
Broken City (15)
The Wee Man (18)
Forget everything you knew about your childhood bedtime stories. This movie turns the meaning of a fairy tail on its head. The premise is based twenty years on, where due to their unresolved childhood traumas Hansel and Gretel have turned to a life of violence and crime. After being dumped in the Bavarian forest by their parents and then being captured by an evil witch, who would blame them? With this framework in play, Tommy Wirkola’s re-imagination of the classic fairy tale presents the iconic siblings as armed, mercenary witch hunters. English rose Gemma Arterton and American lad Jeremy Renner take on the roles of Hansel and Gretel, and they both provide sleek performances and have a great bond on-screen. If you love violence, gore, blood and explosions then it’s maybe worth a watch. However I personally found it difficult to engage with due to the extreme violence and the F-bomb being dropped every two and half minutes. Hearing Arterton taking on lines like ‘whatever you do don’t eat the effing candy’, was very upsetting and needless too. It seemed like a lame attempt to inject testosterone into a poorly written storyline. On another note, the 3D effects were absolutely pointless; I didn’t see how these brought anything to the table. The Grimm brothers would certainly be in a grim mood after watching their story being ripped into breadcrumbs by modern cinema.
Arbitrage, Nicholas Jarecki’s first feature, follows the fall of multi-billionaire Robert Miller (Richard Gere). Sixty year old Miller is a big player in New York’s financial district and runs a hedge Fund with his daughter Brooke (Brit Marling); however, he is far from the flawless businessman and doting father that he appears at the start. The Hedge Fund comes under threat when Miller commits arbitrage; exploiting the margin between various markets for profit, meaning huge losses for his company. In order to plug holes in the company’s financial records following the losses, he borrows large amounts of money from a business partner. Consequently, he decides to sell on the company, but things fail to run as smoothly as he had hoped. An on-going affair with beautiful artist Julie (played by French model Laetitia Casta) is brought to a sharp end when Miller falls asleep at the wheel whilst driving to a romantic getaway. Julie is killed, and Miller, fearing that his fraudulent activities and sordid affair will be exposed to his wife (Susan Sarandon), family and potential company buyer James Mayfield, flees the scene of the crime. He calls family friend Jimmy Grant to pick him up, hoping to avoid being linked to the scene. An investigation ensues and Miller becomes more and more entangled in the web of lies he must weave in order to avoid being exposed.
Director and producer Allen Hughes splits from his twin brother Albert, sits alone in the director’s chair and heads for the shadows with new crimethriller Broken City. Set in the big rotten apple of New York City, this is a place where injustice can be found on every street corner. Mark Wahlberg plays cop turned private detective Billy Taggart. A tale of revenge is on the cards after he is double-crossed by the corrupt Mayor, Nicholas Hostetler (Russell Crowe). He pays Taggart to trail his wife Cathleen (Catherine Zeta-Jones) for reasons that become increasingly ambiguous and leads Taggart to plunge into the seedy underbelly of the city to discover the nefarious links between business and politics. First off, Broken City takes so much from hundreds of other political crime-thrillers that it becomes a simple and average film itself and brings nothing new to the table. Too many other films influence it; so it feels old fashioned and therefore fails to captivate with its unwarranted nostalgia. There is a fantastic cast yet no stand out performances; instead Wahlberg, Crowe, Zeta-Jones et al. are all guilty of just going through the motions with their stereotypical characters. The film adds twists and complexities to expose the murky activities surrounding politics and lead detective Taggart deeper into the fold, but these don’t add depth or interest as they don’t create a satisfying whole.
The Wee Man tells the story of Paul Ferris, who grows up in Glasgow with a hatred of violence and corruption, but swiftly becomes a gang member. How this change happens is never made clear, but is the first of several sudden shifts in plot and character development which are never explained enough to be believable or interesting. Directed by actor, screenwriter director and film producer Ray Burdis (most known for Love, Honour and Obey and Final Cut), the film has an uncertain feel, as if it wants to be a flashy Guy Ritchie film and a gritty, realistic drama but fails to convince as either. The plot is based on a true story, but plays every gang drama cliché, from police corruption, dodgy nightclub, matriarchs, an ageing patriarch, a car bomb and back-stabbings, unnecessarily explicit violence and underdeveloped female characters. However, the male characters do not get much progression either, shifting from good and loyal to bad and evil. The ‘hero’ Paul Ferris, played by Martin Compston (Red Road, Line of Duty), never entirely convinces, seeming either smug, angry or annoyed and little else, and is always too dull to qualify as an anti-hero. The audience is nevertheless expected to sympathise with him for his ‘code’, apparent honesty and openness with his job. Unfortunately, the overall result is that The Wee Man is average and clichéd as a viewing experience.
VERDICT: Not bad per se, just plain average in all departments and woefully unoriginal. If you want a fresh and captivating take on the shadowy links between politics and business, leave Broken City and head for Chinatown.
VERDICT: By positioning the worst possible crime as being informing to the (admittedly corrupt) police, the drug dealing, prostitution and extortion rackets everyone is complicit in are glossed over and forgiven. This results in a disingenuous tone, which made me feel rather ill.
Jacob Crompton-Schreiber
Alex Morgan
VERDICT: Way too violent and dark for me. However the relationship between Renner and Arterton was the main high point of the film. They did a fantastic job in portraying their roles and some of the fight scenes were pretty awesome too!
VERDICT: Despite its economic and financial basis, Arbitrage was a thoroughly engaging thriller with a great cast. You are torn between rooting for Miller and condemning him for his loss of morality and money obsession at the expense of his family. Gere delivered an arguably best performance despite initially seeming an unusual choice to play Miller.
Arbitrage is currently showing at Tyneside Cinema
Dylan Healy
Isabelle Owens
Stoker is currently showing at Tyneside Cinema
Muneeb Hafiz
36.puzzles
Tuesday 12 March 2013
Puzzles
The Courier
Puzzles Editors: Tom Nicholson and Sally Priddle
Win a £4 MensBar voucher*
Find yourself stumped? Check out The Courier’s website next week for the solutions
Busy day? Have a sit down, grab a coffee and unwind with this week’s puzzles - and return them to the Courier office to have a chance of winning drinks at MensBar Be the first to work out which celebrities these pictures
Crossword 1
3
2
spell out to win a £4 Mens Bar Voucher
4
7
Picture-makey-phrase
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5
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9
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+
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+
=?
10 11 12
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Across
=?
1, 8 All over the place (8-8) 5 Foaming at the mouth; very angry (5) 8 See 1 across 10 Tiny guitar played by berks (7) 12 ‘___ It’, popular reaction-based children’s toy (3) 13 Crept away sideways (6) 15 George Michael’s favourite dance (9) 17 De facto head of Wu Tang Clan (1-1-1) 18 Thick black treacle (8) 19 Type of berry commonly used to flavour gin or vodka (4) 21 Those who study birds (14) 24 Members of the cult founded by L. Ron Hubbard who reckon human beings are immortal creatures who have forgotten their true nature, of which Tom Cruise is a member (14)
Down
2 To hijack a deal by making a higher offer than a competitor (6) 3 Small pieces of paper or fabric attached to an item and containing details of that item (6) 4 Steadfast; reliable (10) 5 When a game or sport is fixed (6) 6, 11 Shop where clothes are washed without water (3, 8) 7 Confusing nonsense (5, 5) 9 Chemical decomposition caused by passing of an electric current through solution containing ions (12) 11 See 6 down 14 ‘As sure as ____ is ____’ (4) 16 Late afternoon/early evening slot for eating (3-4) 20 Eager to hear or experience something (4) 22 Touring players who perform the Bard’s work (abbrev.) (1, 1, 1) 23 Rudimentary home (3) 24 What a good joke! (abbrev.) (1, 1, 1)
Sudoku
8
6 3 1 2 1 8 4 5 7 3 1 2
3 5 9 8
5 7
5 7 4 1
8
1 6 3
1 2 8 9
*The first person to bring the completed crossword or Picture-makey-phrase to The Courier office in the Students’ Union will be awarded the £4 prize
38.sportfeatures
Tuesday 12 March 2013
The Courier
Spring’s sporting spectacle With the Easter break almost upon us, The Courier takes a look at the some of the unmissable sporting events set to take place over the next four weeks
GRAND NATIONAL 6 April sees the running of this year’s “Housewife’s favourite”, perhaps socalled as non-finishers run the risk of being in next week’s lasagna. Race organisers at Aintree will hope this year’s race is as close as 2012 where Neptune Collonges, ridden by Daryl Jacob, won by a nose after chasing down Sunnyhillboy over the final furlong – with Katie Walsh becoming the highest ever placed female jockey by guiding Seabass to third place. However, the race was marred by the deaths of two horses, both fatally injured in falls caused by the notorious birch fences at Aintree, which have caused the deaths of 20 horses since 2001 – well above the average for National Hunt racing. As is always the case with tragedy, lessons have been learnt and this year sees yet more changes to the course in both layout and equipment. Course design-
ers have worked with the RSPCA and developed a hollow-core fence, meaning that small errors in jumping may still cause falls, but hopefully will avoid the heavy impacts leading to critical injuries. Since most falls occur early in the race, the run from the start to the first fence has been shortened to decrease arrival speed and hopefully reduce the risk of injuries further. While more leveling and checking of course design have also taken place, the clerk of the course is still confident that the track remains challenging and a test of equine ability and jockey skill. With a race as unpredictable as this, picking horses to watch is always difficult. However, anyone thinking of a flutter should be watching the Cheltenham Gold Cup this Friday, as this is a strong indicator of form going into the National.
THE MASTERS 11 April sees the first major golf tournament of the year, as the world’s finest descend on Augusta, Georgia for the prestigious Masters. The extremely challenging Augusta National course, boasting its lightning fast greens, seems set to host another fascinating tournament in which any number of players are legitimate contenders to walk away with the sought after green jacket. Golf ’s recent unpredictability is best highlighted by the fact that the last 16 major tournaments have been won by 15 different players - world number one Rory McIlroy the only man to win two. The Northern Irishmen would love to add a third major title, but his well-documented struggles with his new Nike clubs have lengthened his short odds by a fraction. McIlroy is undoubtedly not the only British hope as Luke Donald, Lee Westwood and Ian Poulter all have genuine
FORMULA 1 Should you find yourself insomnia laden or crawling in at an ungodly hour over the Easter Vacation, don’t worry, there’s something to watch early on Sunday mornings (if you have Sky) as Formula 1 returns for what “purists” (read: Bernie Ecclestone and people on Formula 1 Forums) are calling the last true season. Formula 1 has decided to move with the times and run with smaller turbocharged engines to appease and encourage car makers to get back into the sport; therefore this is the last season of the loud V8 screaming like girls in the cage at Sinners. Over the summer break, driver moves have been virtually non-existent, with Ferrari, Lotus and Red Bull fielding unchanged line-ups. The biggest news last season was the final retirement of Michael Schumacher, paving the way for Lewis Hamilton to jump from the underperforming
McLaren into the still unproven Mercedes. There he teams up with Nico Rosberg, who won last year’s Chinese Grand Prix with style. McLaren have replaced Hamilton with Mexican Sergio Perez, who almost scored a maiden victory last year in Malaysia and who also brings a sizeable sum of sponsorship money into the coffers at Woking. Pre-season testing has proven little, other than nothing seems to have changed in the expected grid order. All manufacturers have evolved and worked to the limit of the rules, tweaking almost invisible parts to improve downforce, the coanda effect and other items seldom referenced outside of an aerodynamics lecture. However, what has been demonstrated at Valencia has only some impact, as true pace and driver skill won’t be shown until the lights go out at Melbourne on Sunday and the drivers start dicing for results.
Photography: Getty Images
chances of landing their first majors; Poult’s outfit selection rendering him one-to-watch no matter how he plays. Former major winners Graeme McDowell and last-year’s pre-tournament Par 3 contest winner Padraig Harrington are also outside shouts, whilst Justin Rose’s recent impressive form has caused his odds to be slashed by bookmakers. Defending champion Bubba Watson will hope to become the first man since Tiger Woods in 2002 to win consecutive Master’s titles. Meanwhile Woods himself will be hoping to add a fifth green jacket to his wardrobe and a fifteenth major to his trophy cabinet as he bids to end a 5-year major drought. Three-time winner Phil Mickelson should be another name threatening the top of the leaderboard, along with fellow Americans Dustin Johnson, Matt Kuchar, Jason Duffner and Brandt Snedeker.
Ernie Els will be another to keep an eye on, as he looks to avenge last year’s exclusion from the event with a strong showing having won the Open last year, as will fellow South African’s Charl Schwartzel (winner in 2011) and Louis Oosthuizen (last year’s runner-up). Australians Adam Scott and Jason Day have also impressed at recent Masters, and could be set for another run at the title. Numerous names could be added to the list of contenders, making the Master’s one not to miss, as 2013 is set to follow in recent dramatic tournaments. Last year saw a tense play-off ended with a victorious Bubba blubber, while the year before is remembered for McIlory’s meltdown and Charl’s charge. The wide-open competition on one of world golf ’s toughest challenges looks set to showcase sport of the highest quality that promises to be utterly captivating.
The Courier
bucssport.39
Tuesday 12 March 2013
Angels produce heavenly display Cheerleading By Iona Cumming in Loughborough One of the most disheartening responses possible when stating you do cheerleading is “who do you cheer for?” – because Newcastle University’s cheerleading team, the Northern Angels, is a team who dedicate over 10 hours a week to their sport in order to compete for themselves across the country. Training up to six times a week, these girls are strong representatives to defy the stereotype that cheerleading is just about standing on the side-line with a short skirt on. At 4am on Saturday 23 February, the Northern Angels started their journey to Loughborough to compete at the University National Championships alongside 58 different universities from across the UK, making it the largest competition of its kind in Europe. What people who do not know as much about cheerleading may not be aware of is that there are various different disciplines included. The team entered in every category possible, including 3 dances (jazz, pom and hip hop), all-girl cheer, and a stunt group of 4 of the best on the team. Having undergone a significant expansion in the team, over 30 girls represented Newcastle University across the weekend (a num-
ber which the team hopes to increase next year). Saturday was dedicated to dance and stunt groups, and the pressure rose for Sunday’s cheer routine. Each performance was required to be executed twice, an exhausting task for a few of the girls who featured in 3 different categories. The weekend was a huge success across every field. In a very advanced dance division, the team blew the judges away in hip hop, securing an unbelievable 2nd place in the country. Jazz and pom also impressed with exciting choreography and a Cheryl Cole theme much appreciated by the judging panel, coming respectably in 4th and 7th place. A special mention goes to dance Captain Laura Chapman, who single-handedly choreographed and taught the 3 different routines put forward. After a much needed rest on Saturday night, the team were up the next day raring to go for the biggest routine of the weekend – all-girl cheer. 26 Angels took to the mat to perform a dynamic, jam-packed 2 ½ minute routine involving stunts, gymnastics, jumps and dance. Despite having only had 4 weeks to learn the choreography and stunts, the team managed to hit each sequence in their second performance, a feat almost unheard of in the cheerleading world. The Angels held their own in a very tough category, coming in an impressive 6th in the country, and beating local
rivals the Durham Divas from Durham University. Another special mention has to go to team Captain Poppy Ilderton, who independently produced the show stopping routine, a remarkable show of creativity, leadership and dedication.
Katy Jones at half time, and the cheers of NULHC, seemed to encourage Uni Hockey as they managed to stretch ahead of their rivals and take the victory 14-8. With the two finalists decided, the title match was a tense affair as Uni Hockey and Netball Ninjas met for the first time all season. From the starting whistle, it was clear why the Netball Ninjas had managed to only lose two matches all season. Their centre passes were flawless even when both teams tired in the second half. The Ninja’s defence gave little leeway for the Uni Hockey shooters, forcing them to work it out and around the circle, with Uni Hockey left
sprawling for the ball. Continuous trips and falls showed the competitiveness of both sides and how desperately both sides wanted the title. Despite it only being her second appearance for Uni Hockey, Jayne McLoughlin failed to be phased as she sunk shot after shot. With it being her last match in her Intra Mural Netballing career, Jes Izatt left it all on court, contesting for every pass. This combined with the sharpness of play from defence to attack edged the hockey girls ahead with a convincing win of 22-13 over the Netball Ninjas, and retaining their title as Intra Mural Netball Champions 2012/2013.
The Northern Angels in action in Loughborough Photography: NUC
Being an all year round sport, the Angels have many more competitions to look forward to, including the British Open Nationals in Nottingham in two weeks, where two boys will be joining us for a mind-blowing stunt group in-
cluding American college cheerleader Paige Horcher, sending the Angels to new heights. Locally, the team will be performing at the ACDC competition in Newcastle on 21 April.
Judo
the lightweights. Greg Hill, Georgiy Fillatov and Nathan Williamson were entered into the u73kg. Greg easily won his first knockout, but narrowly lost out in the last seconds of the quarter final. Nathan, despite losing his knockout round, had the opportunity to fight for the bronze via the repechage system, but was unfortunately stopped and ended up with 7th place. The u81kg category had four Newcastle competitors, Harry Braid, Cyril Eleftheriou, Matthew Davison and Philippe “Fat Boy” Dembele, all placed in different pools. All but Cyril made it through to the knockouts. However, the KO rounds saw the inevitable- with so many competitors from the same university in one weight category, there was bound to be some in-club combating, with Harry going up against Matthew. The latter had the upper hand, winning over Harry by a hold down and proceeding to the quarter finals
Uni Hockey rules all Mixed bag for dojo dwellers Intra Mural Netball
By Francesca Fitzsimmons in Newcastle
The Tuesday 5pm - 6pm league could not have been tighter by the end of the season. Netball Ninjas and ACCSOC had been fighting for top position all season, in what turned out to be the leading rivalry of the 2012/2013 season. With their head to head record at one a piece, going into the semi-final on Tuesday 5 March, it would have been foolish to try and pick a winner. The game was far from one sided, with little separating the two teams. Shooters on both sides impressed, however, the Netball enthusiasts; the Netball Ninjas, pipped the budding accountants to the post, with a narrow victory. While their perspective finalists battled on court two, on court one, Uni Hockey faced their arch nemesis of the season; Hot Shots. By the end of the season, the comeback was on for Uni Hockey, who had managed to squeeze into second place in the Tuesday 4pm - 5pm Intra Mural Netball League, finishing second behind the Hot Shots. As the underdogs, Uni hockey had to step it up a gear if they were going to have a chance at retaining their title. With the game proving to be a tight contest, the expertise of Helen Jones stepping into Goal Defence for Uni Hockey showed. At half time it was neck and neck at 4 – 4 as the atmosphere became undeniably tense. The support on the side lines of the Sports Centre seemed to give Hot Shots the edge as they came out after the break with all guns blazing. Their Goal Attack and Goal Shooter both failed to miss a shot, much to the relief of Uni Hockey. However, the motivational team talk from Captain
By Jakub Rzeplinski in Sheffield The biggest event of the judo academic sports calendar saw Newcastle bring in their largest team in years, comprising of 17 competitors to compete with the best in the country. Competition, divided into Dan (master) and Kyu (learning) grades, kicked off on Saturday morning. First up from the Dan grade men’s was Anar Bagirov in the under 66kg category, who easily advancing to the knockout stages after a string of successive performances. With 3 subsequent wins in the knockouts, he was stopped in the semi-final and narrowly losing out in the repechage for the bronze leaving him with 5th place.
“Moore shattered her opponent in 14 seconds to earn a well-deserved bronze”
Uni Hockey celebrate their success Photography: Fran Fitzsimmons
Mykola Gladyshevskyi, in his first bout in the u90s, didn’t manage to throw his challenger cleanly onto the ground, but held him down and won the contest in under a minute. Another quick win in the knockouts and he was well on his way to the medal rounds, but an unfortunate turn of events in his second knockout saw him break one of his toes. Injured, he still managed to win that bout by decision, but barely able to walk, lost out to uninjured opponents in the semi-final and repechage ending the competition in 7th place. The men’s Kyu grades opened up with
which proved to be a bit too much. In the u100kg, Jakub Rzeplinski exited the pools with 1 win and 1 loss to his name, but lost out in the 1st knockout round ending the competition in 7th place. We couldn’t be more proud of our only woman Kyu grade entry- Hope Moore. After throwing her challengers for full scores in the pools, she was a bit unlucky in the knockout rounds. She did however get a second chance within the repechage, and did not disappoint; she shattered her opponent in 14 seconds earning her a well deserved bronze.
Sport
www.thecourieronline.co.uk Monday 12 March 2013 Issue 1268 Free
thecourieronline.co.uk/sport
Sports Editors: Ralph Blackburn, Nick Gabriel and Lucy Williams Online Sports Editors: Freddie Caldwell and Jack Gelsthorpe courier.sport@ncl.ac.uk | @Courier_Sport
COMPREHENSIVE STAN CALVERT REVIEW PULL-OUT INSIDE
AU Officer Laura Mason and the AU Exec celebrate the victory with Roary the Lion Photography: Ralph Blackburn
Newcastle hit Poly for six
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Newcastle edge to narrow 78.25 - 64.25 win to reclaim the trophy
By Nick Gabriel Sports Editor Newcastle secured their sixth consecutive Stan Calvert triumph over Northumbria on Sunday, battling to a relatively narrow 78.75-64.25 victory in this year’s much anticipated competition. Whilst the result is significantly closer than last year, Team Newcastle will undoubtedly be delighted with the hardgraft shown across the sporting board to win the University an unprecedented sixth consecutive crown. Speaking after the trophy ceremony, Fraser Kennedy was unsurprisingly delighted: “Once again everyone connected, stood up to be counted. It was an unbelievable collective effort. We should all be extremely proud.” He continued: “It amazes me how we always switch on and pull out all the stops to beat them.” Athletic Union Officer Laura Mason said: “I’m absolutely thrilled with the result, I can’t believe we’ve done it for another year. Thank you and well done
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Stan Calvert victory is Newcastle’s unprecedented sixth in a row
to everyone who competed, you really put your best performances in. It was very exciting, as the results were quite a bit closer than in previous years.” The run-up to this years’ event was plagued by a number of disagreements between the two universities regarding what events should be a part of the competition and where certain matches should take place. The most notable change to the itinerary eventually arrived in the relocation of a number of key events away from Gateshead International Stadium. With so much emphasis being placed on the practical technicalities surrounding Stan Calvert in the weeks leading up to the event, it was undoubtedly a huge relief for all the concerns to be ironed out prior to the start of the competition, enabling attention to turn to matters on, rather than off, the pitch. Fittingly, the huge number of spectators willing to brave the baltic midMarch weather conditions for the competition’s final fixture at Kingston Park between the two Rugby Union 1st XI’s was testament to the true spirit of the
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Northumbria salvage pride in Rugby Union showpiece finale
competition, or as Kennedy described it, “the hard work, dedication, blood, sweat and tears [of the competitors].” With a number of events taking place prior to the actual day, Newcastle were able to begin the defence of their 2012 crown in staunch fashion. On the
This was followed by a clean sweep by the three Men’s Hockey teams on the Friday, working to give Newcastle a commanding, but not unassailable, 2917 lead heading into the Sunday. On the day itself, there were exceptional performances from a variety of
Thursday night, Men’s Football 1sts laid down a serious gauntlet to all those involved, securing a shock 2-1 win against their heavily favoured Northumbria counterparts. Whilst this was going on, Newcastle Women’s Futsal 1st team battled to a hard-fought draw against their BUCS Championship chasing rivals. Meanwhile Newcastle’s rowers cruised to victory in all four of their races whilst both the Men’s and Women’s Water Polo sides triumphed in comfortable fashion.
sports. Most astonishing were a series of incredibly tense netball games, in which the 1sts were narrowly edged out 48-49, whilst the 2nds and 3rds won 49-48 and 49-46 respectively. An equally memorable encounter that will undoubtedly become a mainstay of Stan Calvert folklore was played out at Longbenton between the two Men’s Football 2 XI’s, with Newcastle cruelly conceding a last-minute penalty to lose the enthralling affair 5-4. In addition to these close results, there
“Everyone connected stood up to be counted. It was an unbelievable collective effort”
were also a large number of games that were decidedly less so, as a fair few of Newcastle’s finest opted to indulge in a spot of aptly named ‘Poly bashing’. The women’s lacrosse smashed their Northumbria rivals 21-1, whilst the Women’s Tennis team put in a faultless performance to win their fixture 12-0. The Women’s Hockey 2nds won their match 7-0, whilst the Men’s Tennis 2nd team also served up an impressive display, winning their match comfortably 5-1. Although Northumbria put up a respectable fight with impressive victories in the basketball, volleyball and both formats of Men’s 1st team rugby, on the whole Newcastle were simply too good, outclassing their opponents throughout the decisive day. As such it was only a matter of time before the competition was ended as a contest. The result was made safe at around 5pm on the Sunday afternoon, with a win in the Men’s Squash for Newcastle. This secured the University their sixth straight title with a catchy final scoreline of 78.75 – 64.25.