The Courier 1282

www.thecourieronline.co.uk Monday 2 December 2013 Issue 1282 Free

The Independent Voice of Newcastle Students

NO SHAME HERE Why you should embrace your not so hipster musical preferences p.29

THE JUDGEFATHERS p.27

Est 1948

THATCHER RIGHT p.28

RiseUp FLUX winners crowned

By Antonia Velikova Exceptional business ideas, ambitious young competitors, and smashing success kicked off the second annual RiseUp FLUX competition in Newcastle University, organized by the Careers Service.

FLUX is a fun, fast-paced competition in which teams of young people develop business ideas in order to help out a local community. The teams are afterwards judged in a Dragon’s Den style panel and the winning team gets to present their idea at the national FLUX competition in Lancaster in April.

The competition ran over 26 and 27 November in the Great North Museum Hancock. Students willing to take part could register either as a team or as individuals. 20 teams of 120 students, both undergraduates and postgraduates, from different courses and stages competed their business ideas. All projects were centred on helping a local rural area, Glendale, battle its problems, mainly insufficient housing, transport, and unemployment. The task was given out on Tuesday evening and that was when the teams set out to work.

The main competition started at 1pm on Wednesday. Teams were divided into four streams and they had a limited time to gather their ideas, develop them

into a business project, and prepare a 7-minute pitch. The jury was devised by experts from many large and successful companies, with names such as Deloitte, Aldi, Lloyds Banking Group, and Siemens. Competitors were assessed not only on a basis of their pitch, but also on their individual meetings with the experts. It was all about speed and a fast-paced decision making process.

After the pitching, the jury elicited the best team from each stream, and those winners took part in the so-called ‘elevator pitch’. In that final part of the competition, pitchers had only 90 seconds to convince the experts and the other competitors that it was their idea that was worth investing in. The winner would then be decided on with a vote from everyone present.

After nearly six hours of planning, pitching, and voting, the winning team was announced. The £500 prize and the chance to compete at a national level went to team Foursight. “We weren’t really sure if it was actually happening,” commented Andrei Atudorei, a member of the winning team. “Everyone was asking their nearest teammate whether it was for real! People started coming over to congratulate us, and it was just …. overwhelming. We are really proud and thankful for everyone’s support, because every single vote counted!”

Continued on page 4

WHAT THE FLUX? Team Forsight consisted of; Prem Kumar Bharathalwar, Joshua Levine, Kane Avellano, Prathyosh Pramod, Andrei Atudorei, Achint Soni Image: Careers Service

The Courier does the double

By Anna Templeton News Editor

The Courier was named Student Publication of the Year at the Guardian Student Media Awards last week.

Taking the award for the second year running, the accolade was presented for issues of The Courier produced between September 2012 to June 2013 under the editorship of Ben Travis.

Commending his team for their hard work, Travis said: “I’m extremely proud of everyone on last year’s editorial team who put so much of their time and effort into creating an entertaining and diverse read every week.

“It was a mad year as Editor, but a

really rewarding experience. We had some great writers, and I’m very happy to have upheld the strong reputation of Newcastle University’s student media.

“If you want a career in journalism, get writing, get involved and take every opportunity that you can while it’s right here in front of you.”

The awards ceremony was held at The Guardian headquarters in London last Wednesday, with a chance to meet industry professionals including the editor of NME Mike Williams, as well as Zoe Williams and Hugh Muir from the newspaper.

The awards were presented by TV star Rick Edwards and included a speech from The Guardian Deputy Editor, Paul

Johnson, where he heralded the “mischief-making” of student journalists.

Lizzie Hampson, former Fashion Editor and this year’s Science Editor, said: “It was a great day for all, we won an award, got lots of free drinks and Tom [Nicholson] made Rick Edwards laugh!”

This year’s awards saw submissions from more than 800 students, making it the most competitive year in three decades.

Taking runner-up in the awards was the University of York’s York Vision, who congratulated The Courier for their achievements.

Tom Nicholson, Deputy Editor, commented on the magnitude of the win: “It’s intensely exciting to win this award,

and we’re all chuffed to bits. We put a lot of time and effort into entertaining and informing The Courier’s readership last year and for that to be recognised by such a respected media outlet as The Guardian is a huge compliment.

“Now we’ve just got to keep the quality up and make it 3 years in a row.”

“I also spent some time eating pea risotto in front of the deputy editor of the Guardian,” Nicholson added.

Lesley Braiden, Acting Academic Registrar at the University, said: “Congratulations to our students whose hard work and perseverance has paid off with this national recognition for a second year.

“Student journalism has a long history of producing talented individuals

with skills for the workplace and we’re delighted at this success.”

Current Editor and previous News Editor George Sandeman, who also attended the awards ceremony, said: “It’s an absolutely fantastic feeling to have won the award for the second consecutive year as it’s a real testament to the hard-work, sacrifice and passion of everyone on the editorial team.

“It’s clear we’ve established a really strong student media culture at the university. The onus is on everybody involved now to, not only maintain these standards, but keep pushing on and improving to give Newcastle students the most interesting and entertaining journalism possible.”

News

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Monday 2 December 2013

Want to follow a University staff member for a day?

AIRLINE RESCUE

American airline save students’ graduation with free transport

COMMENT HO HO HO

Is Christmas too commercialised?

We debate

9 11

SEXUAL FEELINGS

Solution or distraction? Lower age of consent

SPORT

38 39

‘Make your lives a masterpiece - you only get one canvas” - E.A Bucchianeri

The remaining members of Monty Python are to reunite for a live show, for the first time since the fortieth anniversary tour of 2009. Originally one show was planned, but four more have been added since the tickets sold out within just 43.5 seconds.

It has been reported that tickets were then listed on website getmein.com for extortionate prices. Tickets were available for up to £1600.

The show will take place in London next July for 5 nights only.

Baby’s afterbirth becomes souvenir Ruth Davis and Tom Nicholson

Research

Prankster

Monday morning Got ID mate? most productive A 92-year-old man was refused the sale Research has shown 10:26am on a Monday to be the most productive time of the week in a typical workplace.

2:52pm is the most unproductive time of day, and the days get increasingly unproductive as the week goes on.

of vodka in a West London Tesco when he could not provide ID when asked.

This was the cashier’s attempt at a ‘light hearted‘ joke with the great grandfather, but it was clearly not appreciated, as he walked out the shop on hearing it.

Research

Whalesplosion Image: YouTube

Publication

Distressing news from the Faroe Islands, where exploratory jabbing of a dead sperm whale’s stomach resulted in the deceased mammal disgorging its innards over all and sundry. The biologist responsible called it “a little bit of a surprise”.

Ugly carrots steal Playground wars the limelight Tagging the mick

A book has been published by Tim Smyth entitled ‘Defective Carrots’ which is a typology of carrots that have not been sold due to how they look. These carrots have been deemed ‘optically deficient’ for various reasons, from looking like various animals to resembling human body parts. The book questions why non-standard appearance of a vegetable is viewed as unacceptable by the consumer.

NUSU, King’s Walk, Newcastle upon Tyne, NE1 8QB. Tel: 0191 239 3940

The Courier is a weekly newspaper produced by students, for students. It’s never too late to get involved in the paper, whether you’re a writer, illustrator or photographer. Just visit thecourieronline.co.uk/getinvolved for more information.

Budweiser have created a machine that uses the power of tweets to knit Christmas jumpers. Tweets containing #jumpers4des power the Knitbot machine that manufactures red jumpers with snowflakes, which also bear the phrase ‘Celebrate Responsibly’, as it aims to promote the importance of designated drivers over the festive season.

Art attack

The holy grail of reunions

UP THE STREAM Canoeists celebrate BUCS success

Winter warmers

British comedy

RUGBY LOSS Newcastle lose to Loughborough 13-26

Invention

ix

4 7

STUDENT SHADOWING

Wise Words:

In

NEWS

News Editors: Anna Templeton and James Simpson Deputy News Editor: Sabine Kucher courier.news@ncl.ac.uk | @TheCourier_News

m

e h t

thecourieronline.co.uk/news

The Courier

Hull City Council has been fined £35,000 after a six-year-old girl sustained a minor injury during a game of tag at school. The mother claimed teachers should not allow the game to be played, due to its dangerous nature.

However, her bid to have the game banned from playgrounds has unsuccessful, as it has been decided it is at each school’s discretion.

Image: YouTube

Research

Local people

Seeing double

Morpeth male twins, Eric and Herbert Walton, have celebrated their 99th birthday this week. They are believed to be some of the oldest twins currently living in the UK, and continue to have a close relationship, despite one living in Morpeth and one in a care home in Gosforth.

Artist’s impression

Extreme sports

Cat vs. languages

Japanese research has noted the popularity of cat pictures and videos on the internet, and discovered a link between cognitive function and ‘cute’ images.

The language learning company, Memrise, has used this to develop an app which uses photos of cats to help people learn foreign languages. Each phrase to be learnt appears with a photo of a cat, in order to stimulate memory.

Editor George Sandeman Deputy Editor Tom Nicholson Web Editor Ben Brown News Editors Anna Templeton and James Simpson Deputy News Editor Sabine Kucher Comment Editors Lydia Carroll and Joe Wood Deputy Comment Editor Victoria Armstrong Culture Editor Sam Summers Lifestyle Editors Evie O’Sullivan, Elizabeth Archer, Hazel Parnell and Katie Smith Fashion Editors Amy O’Rourke and Frances Stephenson Deputy Fashion Editors Rebekah Finney Beauty Editors Amy Macauley and Safiya Ahmed Arts Editors Millie Walton and Charlie Dearnley Deputy Arts Editor Laura Wotton Film Editors Muneeb Hafiz and Jacob Crompton-Schreiber Music Editors Kate Bennett and Ian Mason TV Editor Beth Durant Deputy TV Editor Helen Daly Science Editor Lizzie Hampson Deputy Science Editors Peter Style and Emad Ahmed Sports Editors Nick Gabriel, Freddie Caldwell and Francesca Fitzsimmons Copy Editors Lucy Davis, Emma Broadhouse and Megan Ayres

Amanda Cotton, a 25 year old artist, has created picture frames out of mothers’ placentas for photos of newborns to be displayed in. Through drying and crushing pieces of the organ, and adding resin, a marble-like effect is created. Apparently this design has gained ‘positive feedback’.

Head for heights and balls of steel An American slackliner has walked across a tightrope with a safety harness attached to his testicles.

Andy Lewis ditched his clothes and proceeded to tie the safety harness around his genitals and performed the 61 metre walk whilst onlookers watched in disbelief.

The Courier is printed by: Print and Digital Associates, Fernleigh House, 10 Uttoxeter Road, Derby, Derbyshire, United Kingdom, DE3 0DA. Established in 1948, The Courier is the fully independent student newspaper of the Students’ Union at Newcastle University. The Courier is published weekly during term time, and is free of charge.

The design, text, photographs and graphics are copyright of The Courier and its individual contributors. No parts of this newspaper may be reproduced without the prior permission of the Editor. Any views expressed in this newspaper’s opinion pieces are those of the individual writing, and not of The Courier, the Students’ Union or Newcastle University.

The Courier

news.3

Monday 2 December 2013

Free Willy goes swimming with the fishes on the island of Mafia

By Jessica Harman

Newcastle University student William Black spent his summer diving off the coast of Tanzania on the island of Mafia.

What sounds like a once in a lifetime trip was also crucial for the ecosystem of the local community.

Volunteering for “Frontier”, William carried out marine conservation and research that provides the rural communities with the information they need to sustainably manage and preserve their ecosystem and fish population.

In order to collect the data, the volunteers need to locate and search the extensive coral reefs surrounding the island and study their quality and number of various local fish found amongst them.

A normal day would consist of an early breakfast before morning and afternoon diving sessions, after which, they would complete an assessment of what they had found.

“This experiFrontier also ence gives help members of you a surreal the local workfeeling of being ing community, in somewhere advising them on management and like space. It teaching them makes you English, the volfeel pleasunteers help with antly drunk at talking to locals who come to the times.” frontier site to learn.

Speaking to The Courier, William reveals: “One of my favourite experiences was in the second week when we did a deep dive of around 25 metres. At this depth, on certain days, it is impossible to see the top of the water.”

“This experience gives you a surreal feeling of being in somewhere like space and when combined with the high levels of nitrogen you’re breathing, makes you feel pleasantly drunk at times,” he adds.

Whilst diving, the volunteers saw a variety of sealife, finding schools of multicoloured fish, turtles and sea mammals amongst the reefs.

Working in a marine-protected area meant that they were able to dive in areas that were unaffected by destructive fishing practices and that had preserved

the wide range of wildlife. The realisation of what the volunteers found on their searches was not only humbling, “but terrifying, with fish the size of us diving out of the reef at the worst of moments.”

William said that these experiences “were probably some of the best experiences of my life, not just the trip.”

When they got some time off from the

hard work, the volunteers were able to get a glimpse of the culture of the local communities.

“We played football against local teams at their pitch, which was more a beach than anything. In the evenings we often visited a local bar/hut and relaxed with a big group of Maasai warriors who were there on “holiday” and attempted to teach us their trademark

jump dance.”

Other pastimes included watching turtle hatchings and conversations with the locals, but most of their free time was spent relaxing on the beach and exploring the island by auto rickshaw.

William recounted that a highlight was “being able to buy an entire native African outfit for a fiver” and their desperate search for Nutella. “After a month

of rice and beans, Nutella is a must!”

William said that the highlight of his time in Tanzania was “being able to dive in one of the best and most untouched sites in the world, swimming with amazing and often dangerous fish, whilst experiencing and meeting people from a culture so unlike my own and getting on so well. I recommend it to anyone and everyone.”

ISLAND IMPRESSIONS A little gem just off the coast of Tanzania.

Top left: Landscape just off the beach Top right: newlyhatched turtle on its way to the sea Bottom left: Taking a walk on the beach Bottom right: William preparing to dive.

Images: William Black and Micah MacAllen

Pioneering pupils to test Mitra’s ideas

By Sabine Kucher Deputy News Editor Professor Sugata Mitra’s idea of a ‘School in the Cloud’ is set to become reality in a North East class room. Based on peerled learning with the help of computers, the first Self Organised Learning Environment (SOLE) opened in a secondary school in Killingworth, North Tyneside last week.

Just during the past year, the idea for the SOLE earned him a place in CNN’s top ten thinkers in the world as well as this year’s TED prize valued at $1m.

This learning lab allows children to discover the world and learn from and

with their peers while gathering information online.

“From other research we’ve already seen that reading comprehension is likely to improve in the children taking part in these activities but we do not know what else might happen in the process,” Professor Mitra explains, “what we do know is that order emerges out of this creative chaos.”

The current initiative is the result of more than a decade’s worth of research and observations from all over the world and is based on Mitra’s discovery that giving children access to the internet greatly enhances their learning, especially if they are working in small groups.

Amy-Leigh Dickinson, Head of Design and Art at George Stephenson High School, learned of the self-organised learning methods “From the two years ago. She outset, the discovered children’s love then that the technique of learning had not been came through tried in secondary schools before and, there was with support from a fantastic Professor Mitra, inbuzz in the troduced her Year 7 classroom” pupils to it.

The project has since been extended to include all the school’s pupils from Year 7 to Year 13.

“From the outset, the children’s love of learning came through and there was a fantastic buzz in the classroom,” she says, “The idea of thinking about your subject in ‘big questions’ and letting children take ownership of the lesson really gets them engaged.”

“When they work in groups of four there’s less chance to opt out and they naturally self correct each other, helping to develop not only their literacy and understanding but also good social skills.”

The local community and nearby schools will also be able to access the suite and benefit from the integrated learning techniques. This has already generated considerable interest, includ-

ing from parents home-schooling their children.

This project also takes inspiration from the Granny Cloud, an online project that connects children in India with retired teachers and committed volunteers via Skype.

Proven a huge success in terms of children’s learning, it is the volunteers’ encouragement that spurs the children on and is set to grow very fast because of the $1m TED prize fund.

The awarded resources will also support the construction of a series of learning labs in the most remote, inaccessible and deprived areas of the Indian subcontinent with the help of pioneering school kids here in the North East.

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Monday 2 December 2013

The Courier

Shadowing scheme to give students a look behind the university curtain

By George Sandeman Editor The University and Students’ Union have teamed up to create a scheme offering students the chance to get an insight into the work of the University’s most senior staff.

Students will get to shadow their chosen staff member for a full day by going to their meetings and committees to get a better idea of what university management does.

Afterwards, the staff member will shadow their students for a day by attending their meetings and seminars to get a better idea of what a typical students does with their day.

Around 20 members of university staff will be taking part in the scheme and students can choose which member they would like to shadow.

The Courier has put together brief ‘dating profiles’ for some of them which you can read today, with the next instalment coming next week, to help inform your decision.

Students interested in taking part can do so by visiting [www.ncl.ac.uk/careers/ develop/workExperience/ShadowingScheme.php] to complete the application form by 13 December.

Simon Gerry

Richard Dale

Jane Calvert

Simon Pallett

Chief Executive at Students’ Union

Executive Director of Finance

Dean in Faculty of Medical Sciences

Dean in HaSS Faculty

Hometown: Durham Likes: Golf, flying, red wine Dislikes: Traffic jams, laziness, flip flops Film: Top Gun Music: Mark Knoppfler, Ronni Vannucci, Vivaldi Food: Venison, blue cheese, popcorn Holiday: Alps, Maldives, Caribbean Admire: Richard Branson, Brian Cox, Elle McPherson

Hometown: Alnwick Likes: Community radio, running, rugby Dislikes: Chuggers, scallops, flying with Ryanair Film: If Music: Sandi Thom, Reba McIntyre, Queen Food: Sea bass, courgettes, tiramisu Holiday: Mallorca, Provence, Alaska Admire: Mother Teresa, Nelson Mandela, Martin Luther King

Hometown: Ribblehead Likes: Max my dog, malt whisky, detective fiction Dislikes: Form filling, crowds, housework Film: Brassed Off Music: J.S. Bach, Puccini, Leonard Cohen Food: Pizza, fish and chips, coffee cakes Holiday: Yorkshire, Orkney, Venice Admire: Angela Merkel, Alan Bennett, Stephen Jay Gould

Hometown: Stafford Likes: Music, reading, writing Dislikes: Neoliberalism, pricey public transport Film: Tyneside Cinema Music: Bach, K. Tickell, Transatlantic Sessions Food: Veggie curry, raspberries, ice cream Holiday: Lake District, Japan, Italy Admire: Nelson Mandela, Shami Chakrabati, Tony Benn

“We’re going to do our best to bring that prize home to Newcastle!”

Continued from the front page Their business idea for “Greendale” was what helped them bag the award.

“Our team decided to use what Glendale’s best at – farming,” Andrei explains. “We set up a profit-sharing scheme with local farmers. 25% of our profits would go to the farmers themselves, 25% would be invested in youth leisure and activities in the area, and 50% would be reinvested to grow our business further.

Our tagline was “It’s not just food”.

Greendale Organic is not just food because, first off, it would provide a high standard of quality through the best organic farming there is, and secondly because we wouldn’t just make money out of this, but we’d invest it in a good cause: the development of Glendale.

I’m definitely looking forward to the National Finals! We are going to do our best and bring that prize home to Newcastle!”

Second year Economics and Business Management student Joshua Levine was the student, who brought his team forward with his impressive 90-second pitch.

When asked how he felt about delivering the pitch that would decide if they were winners, Joshua said: “Like a dream! It was incredible and those 90 seconds flew by so quickly.

The ballot decided that I were to go first, and all the four final speakers were ushered to a room at the side and given 2-3 minutes to have a quick run through with their mentors.

I kept calm, and gave my elevator pitch, perfectly hitting the 90 second

limit.

It felt amazing. I walked off to huge applause and a lot of love from my team who were bouncing around with excitement!”

Davinder Kandola, a representative of Deloitte and a recent Newcastle University graduate, was the one who received the teams’ elevator pitches.

“All attendees showed great level of promise,” he said. “The ability to bring a business together from first principles in less than 24 hours is a phenomenal achievement and definitely showed candidates’ entrepreneurial skills amongst other things.

All the teams put together great pitches and delivered them with superior confidence.

However to get an idea across under time constraints replicates real life situations and it was this skill that separated the winners from the rest.”

The winning team are buzzing with excitement for the national FLUX finale in Lancaster. In the case of FLUX, though, no team could be dubbed a loser, because everyone gained something from the competition, and the drinks reception that followed was a great chance for networking.

“The day was well organised, full of variety and had something for everybody,” Мr. Kandola commented. “It was fantastic to see the event focusing on skills graduate recruiters are looking for. Relating the whole event to a real life situation for me is what differentiated this from other events I have come across.”

The Courier

news.5

Monday 2 December 2013

Students have blast at beer brewery ducing brewing to people who may not have thought it as a hobby according to co-president Zelda Mendelowitz.

She said it is also about getting people to become involved with the Stu Bru project.

Zelda went on to say that this was the first of many events that they are going to be running for members of the society. Events officer Ryan Shore said “I’m really excited about some of the events we have in the pipeline.

We are holding a stall at the Christmas fayre outside the SU on 11 December as well as some more local brewery tours and there’s even talk of a foreign trip!”

Zelda stressed that ‘you don’t need to be an avid homebrewer to get involved.

By James Simpson News Editor Newcastle brewing society last week visited BrewLab in Sunderland for a night of beer tasting and learning.

The new society comprises of students involved in forming Europe’s first student run microbrewery as previously reported in The Courier.

The group were given a tour of the onsite microbrewery and guided through the beer production process by BrewLab trainers.

They were shown how to control each stage as well as given hints and tips from industry experts.

They had the chance to participate in a classroom session where they were educated about the ingredients involved in forming different flavours.

The society’s brew master Hugh O’Neill said ‘the wide range of hops available is something most people don’t know very much about yet they are so important to the taste of the beer.

We [Newcastle Brewing Society] want to educate students about the delicate balance of ingredients and brewing conditions involved in brewing beer’ Co-president of the society Ice Tarr said ‘The event really allowed us to network with the industry professionals and we gained some really good insights into setting up our own microbrewery’ He went on to say ‘the evening was not only about being educated by an industry leader but it was a chance to ask questions and see a fully working microbrewery’ The students have set up Newcastle Brewing society to run alongside the SCAN linked project to provide a social forum for home brewers as well intro-

“You just need to have a passion for real quality tasting beer and be interested in producing your own flavours”

MASTERCLASS Students were given a tour of the on-site microbrewery and then to a tasting session in the BrewLab classroom Image: Stu Bru

You just need to have a passion for real quality tasting beer and be interested in producing your own unique flavours.

We can provide the rest” “We already have people who are experienced in home brewing and are more than happy to pass on their wisdom to new brewers” The society is now registered and are looking for new members to get involved. All the information can be found on the Union Societies page.

Uni awarded Queen’s Anniversary Prize

By Antonia Velikova Newcastle University has been nationally recognised as one of the best universities for research into rural economies and societies by being given the Queen’s Anniversary Prize.

At a special ceremony, in St James’ Palace on 21 November, the University was awarded the Prize for its internationally-renowned Centre for Research Economy, the core of its research in the field. It has successfully helped influence rural economy and society policies all around the world.

The Queen’s Anniversary Prizes are awarded by the Royal Anniversary Trust. They honour universities’ work of outstanding importance and quality. The win“The Univerwere ansity is very clear ners nounced at the that it will not ceremony and accept partial the awards will be in Febperformance of presented ruary 2014. a contract” “The Anniversary Trust has recognised Newcastle University’s efforts to have excellence with impact, and academic work that is responsive to large-scale societal needs and demands,” commented Professor Mark Shucksmith OBE, Director of the Newcastle Institute for Social Renewal, at Newcastle University.

“Rural issues are still of the utmost importance, as recent public debates

on badger culls, healthy and sustainable food production, affordable housing, and rural broadband show.

“It is vital that these debates are evidence-led, and the Centre for Rural Economy – under the inspiring leadership of Professor Philip Lowe – has been committed to developing the knowledge and insight to ensure this is the case.

“The award also recognises that we work closely with rural communities so that our work is as grounded and useful as possible.

“It’s fantastic to mark our 21st anniversary with a Queen’s Anniversary Prize. Hopefully the next 21 years will see us build on our success and continue to explore key themes affecting rural economies and societies, including rural resilience to economic crisis, food security issues and democratic and participative models of rural development.

“This news could not come at a more appropriate time, as we are about to launch a £2.5 million fund-raising campaign to secure the future of Centre for Rural Economy and maintain our position at the forefront of rural economy research.”

Living up to its reputation as a worldclass civic university, Newcastle University’s research aligns with three Societal Challenge Themes – ageing, social renewal, and sustainability.

With that, the University aims to raise awareness of the most important social issues on a worldwide scale. The announcement of the latest Queen’s Anniversary Prize means that Newcastle University is now recognized for its re-

ROYAL RECOGNITION

Newcastle University were awarded the Queen’s Anniversary Prize for research into rural economics Image: Chica Inglesa

search in all three sectors at an extremely high level.

In 2005 and 2009, the Prize was once again bagged by Newcastle, for the university’s research in mine water pollution and ageing, respectively.

The Rt Hon David Willetts MP, Minis-

ter of State for Universities and Science, said: “I warmly congratulate the twenty universities and colleges honoured in The Queen’s Anniversary Prizes for Higher and Further Education.

“I welcome the role that the Prizes play in enabling our institutions to pub-

licise their successes. Britain’s ability to compete depends on the quality of the teaching and research undertaken by our universities and colleges; and particularly on the translation of that work into real benefits for society, business and the growth of the economy.”

6.news

Monday 2 December 2013

The Courier

Excessive alcohol gene discovered Researchers at Newcastle have discovered a genetic mutation which may explain why consumption of alcohol can turn to addiction in some cases.

The gene Gabrb1 regulates alcohol, and when defective can lead to extreme drinking.

Gabrb1 affects the receptor in the brain which controls pleasure. The mutation creates spontaneous electrical activity in the brain’s pleasure zone; as the electric signal increases, so does the desire to drink.

sity, University College London and the University of Dundee.

The project was funded by the Medical Research Committee and the findings were published this week in Nature Communications.

Alcohol addiction is a growing issue in the UK. In the past four years alone GPs have reported a 20% increase in prescriptions for alcohol addiction.

Amongst students it is estimated that 52% of males and 43% of females drink more than the recommended daily allowance, while 15% of us drink to a ‘hazardous’ extent (more than 51 units a week).

By introducing subtle changes into the genetic code of mice the team were able to identify the fact that 85% of mice with a mutation in the gene Gabrb1 preferred alcohol to water. So strong was their preference for a liquid containing as much alcohol as wine, they were prepared to work for it by pushing a lever.

They voluntarily consumed so much alcohol in a single hour that they actually became intoxicated and struggled to control their movements.

This discovery is the result of a ten year research project involving five universities: Newcastle University, Imperial College London, Sussex Univer-

Although scientists admit that there is still a long way to go, the realisation that alcoholism may be genetic will make it easier to identify those most at risk.

Dr Quentin Anstee, Consultant Hepatologist at Newcastle University, said: “It’s amazing to think that a small change in the code for just one gene can have such profound effects on complex behaviours like alcohol consumption.

“We are continuing our work to establish whether the gene has a similar influence in humans, though we know that in people alcoholism is much more complicated, as environmental factors come into play.”

By Imogen Lepere

They voluntarily consumed so much alcohol in a single hour that they became intoxicated and struggled to control their movements

DRINK SAFE The new research has found out that the gene GAbrb1 can increase the desire to drink, perhaps explaining a cause of alcohoism Image: Living Fitness UK

The Courier

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Monday 2 December 2013

Graduation saved by kind airline

By Jamie Shepherd A Newcastle University student received good news when he found out that his mother would have her flight tickets paid for so that she could attend his graduation ceremony.

MA Translation Studies student, Louis De Francesco’s aptitude for languages has seen him study other language courses across Europe and his mother, much to her sadness, has been unable to attend any of his prior graduations due to the increasing cost of airline flights.

However, a surprising act of kindness will see her crossing the thousands of miles over the Atlantic to attend her son’s graduation ceremony.

His mother, at Louis’ urging, decided to write “I didn’t think to Delta Airways, that this would one of the leadhappen but I’m ing American based in literally over the carriers Atlanta, Georgia moon. This is detailing her situthe best news ation in the hope that they might ever.” show some compassion and offer a discount on flight tickets that would take her from her home in the North East of the States to the North East of the UK. Admittedly, she didn’t hold out much hope. In her message she explained that “her only dream in life” is to see her son graduate and that, because of the huge costs involved, there was no way she could share the pride in witnessing Louis graduate with the parents of his fellow coursemates.

Fortunately for Louis’ mother, some-

body’s heart strings at Delta must have been well and truly pulled, as Louis explained to me: “I really wanted my mom to be at my graduation ceremony and when she called me on the Saturday, when I was in work, I expected it to be bad news.

“I thought it would be her telling me that she really couldn’t make it, but it was completely the opposite.

“She told me that she got a phone call from somebody at Delta telling her that they were really touched by her story and because of her situation they were going to offer her free flights so she can come and see me graduate.

“I didn’t think that this would happen but I’m literally over the moon. This is the best news ever”.

While it is not unheard of for large airlines to show acts of compassion, it used to be a common thing for airlines to offer discounted flights to passengers travelling due to bereavement or to visit ill relatives, it has become increasingly rarer of late due to the recession for kind acts such as this to happen on a more regular basis. Louis, however, couldn’t be happier.

“My mom’s never left the United States before so her coming all the way over here for my graduation is going to be such a big adventure for her”.

The Courier asked where his mother would be staying, modest Louis admitted it certainly wouldn’t be the Hilton.

“It’s my mom, and if she’s made a journey as big as this I can’t make her pay for her hotel. I’ve got a spare room in my house in Fenham, so I can put her up while she’s here and show her the sights”.

When contacting the airline, Delta said they are such a large organisation

LET’S FLY AWAY

Louis’ mother can now board a Delta Airways plane to make the journey to Newcastle Image: InSapphoWeTrust

it would be almost like finding a needle in a haystack to work out who was involved with pushing through with

the decision to offer Louis’ mother free flights, but it can be certainly said that such a touching act of compassion will

certainly make the next MA graduation ceremony seem that little bit more special.

Mexi-can’t get enough of these Cornish pasties

By Antonia Velikova If you thought that Cornish pasties are exclusively British, think again. A Newcastle student has recently discovered heaps of the staple in faraway Mexico.

Since the 1820s the village of Real del Monte and neighbouring Pachuca in the state of Hidalgo, Mexico, have been home to a significant Cornish community.

Ester Pink, a BA History student, set out on an expedition to analyse how Cornish culture evolved, assimilated, or was preserved, and how this identity was transmitted to the newer generations born in Mexico.

In the course of their research, the group found out that the Cornish pasty, now known as ‘paste’ features heavily in the local cuisine. Real del Monte is also home to the only Paste Museum in the world.

Ester presented her research on Cornish identity and its preservation in a public lecture at Newcastle University on 20 November. Her trip was funded

by Newcastle University Expedition and she traced the steps of the original Cornish miners in 1824 who travelled to work in the Mexican silver mines.

“Back then, Cornwall was to the mining world what Silicon Valley is to the digital age,” Ester explains.

“Cornish miners, or Cousin Jacks as they were known, had an excellent reputation – if you wanted the best miners, that’s where you got them from.

“A lot of them didn’t last long though,

TRANSATLANTIC Ester’s research has found that Cornish miners, who moved to Mexico, have taken their regional staple across the world Image: Sandy Austin

once they realised Mexico wasn’t the Eldorado they’d been promised.

“Many of the women made beautiful gowns before they left, hoping to impress Mexican high society when in fact they were in a tiny village miles from anywhere.”

When pasties arrived in Mexico, many of the miners lived outside of big cities.

However, they soon started mingling with the local people when many of them married Mexican women.

“They [the women] weren’t just making pasties – they took it upon themselves to educate the children and set up a school which records suggest has always been run by women - one of them served as the school’s director for 74 years.”

It didn’t take long before the recipe evolved. People started putting chilli into them, meat was more often used than the potato, and soon a new version using baked beans and mashed up chorizo emerged.

The original pasty had to be adapted quite a lot due to lack of variety in certain vegetables. However, the miners earned up to 20 times more than the locals, so the ingredients were more easily available to them.

“Everyone has a different way of making pasties and a lot of work goes into it,” says Ester. “They are fiercely protective of their recipes.

“There’s now a local pasty makers’ guild, an international pasty festival every October, and the world’s only pasty museum where you can learn how to make them.”

8.nationalstudentnews

Monday 2 December 2013

£350m cuts to hit poor students

By David Leighton It recently emerged that the Department for Business (BIS) is currently considering putting into motion a series of cuts that would take £350m from the UK’s poorest students. Plans proposed would include abolishing the National Scholarship Programme (a programme designed to help the students fund their studies). President of the National Union of Students, Tony Pearce called the plans “outrageous”, saying: “Any proposal to balance the books on the back of the poorest students would be disgraceful”.

The movement would also attempt to save a further £215m over the next two years. Further savings would be met in

Job Title: Support Assistant Employer: Newcastle City Council Closing date: 04.12.2013 Salary: £14,880 - £15,598 per annum, pro rata Basic job description: A Support Assistant is required to work 15 hours per week at St Paul’s C of E Primary School in Newcastle. Applicants must be committed to working closely with the class teacher in a KS2 class to raise pupils’ achievement. St Paul’s is a friendly school with a hardworking and committed team working within a strong biblical Christian ethos.

Person requirements: The school is strongly committed to safeguarding and promoting the welfare of children and young people. The successful applicant will be required to obtain an Enhanced Certificate of Disclosure from the Disclosure and Barring Service and a range of other recruitment checks.

Location: Newcastle upon Tyne.

Job Title: Sales Advisor Employer: Kurt Geiger Closing date: 15.12.2013 Salary: National Minimum Wage Basic job description: A Sales Advisor is required to work 20 hours per week at the Kurt Geiger store in the Metrocentre, Gateshead. Main duties will include, cash handling, stock replenishment, liaising with customers, merchandising meeting targets and all other duties as required.

Person requirements: Candidates must have previous retail experience, good customer service, communication and numeracy skills and the ability to work within a team.

Location: Gateshead.

Job Title: Retail Assistant Employer: Primark Closing date: 04.12.2013 Salary: To be confirmed Basic job description: A Retail Assistant is required to work 20 hours per week (5:00pm – 9:00pm: Monday to Friday) at the Primark store in Newcastle. In this role you will be serving customers at all of our service points: including till points, fitting rooms and around the sales floor. A Retail Assistant will also have the responsibility to be involved with replenishment and delivering high quality operational standards.

Person requirements: As a Retail Assistant, there are 6 main attributes that you need to succeed in our business: the passion to deliver exceptional Customer

other areas, “notably science” and by reclassifying tens of millions of pounds as “capital investment”.

Research by the NUS has already highlighted many genuine difficulties students have covering their basic living costs; the research has also shown that there is a “significant detrimental impact” upon students who have financial worries. The research suggests there is an impact on “performance, dropout rates and even mental health”.

The cuts could be enforced as early as the next election, 2015, and would be mostly covered by converting £1000 a year from the £3250 grant given to each eligible student into repayable loans – thus making being a student another £3000 more expensive.

In response, a memo has warned that

slashing budgets in such a way could cause the loss of 700 PhD funded student places and almost 2000 full-time academics, likened to “The closure of a large UK-based facility.”

A BIS spokesperson said that it would not comment on leaks, before adding “Work continues to resolve the difficult but important challenge of balancing the departmental books.” So whilst “a range of proposals are being considered” at least “financial decisions have not yet been made”.

The shadow universities minister, Liam Byrne, argued the department should come “clean about [their] financial mess]”, before arguing “This is fresh evidence that ministers have lost control of university finances and now the country’s students might pay the price.”

Service, positive attitude, flexibility and determination, willingness to learn, an eye for fashion and trends and a committed team player.

Location: Newcastle upon Tyne.

Job Title: Office Assistant Employer: Next Closing date: 14.12.2013 Salary: £5.18 - £6.33 per hour Basic job description: An Office Assistant is required to work 8 hours per week (Tue: 16:15-20:15 & Sat: 08:30-12:30) at the Next store in Arnison Retail Park, Durham.

In this role you will assist with the day-today operation of the office environment, to ensure all aspects of store administration are completed in line with Company and audit requirements.

Person Requirement: You will need to have had experience working in a customer service or office environment and flexible approach to working hours whereby you may be requested to stay an hour later or leave an hour earlier than your allocated shift dependent on the needs of the store. It would be desirable if you had previous knowledge of computerised systems including payroll, and point of sale systems.

Location: Durham.

Job Title: Outbound Appointment Booking Advisors Employer: G4S Closing date: 20.12.2013 Salary: £6.31 per hour rising to £7.12 per hour Basic job description: Outbound Appointment Booking Advisors are required to work 20 hours per week at the Utility Services Contact Centre in Newcastle.

Main tasks will involve providing telephone cover to deal with queries and offer advice and information, issue incident reports accurately, book appointments for both Meter Representatives and Meter Workers and monitor inboxes as required.

Person requirements: Successful candidates must have experience in outbound sales, confident and courteous communicators, with an ability to organise and prioritise their own workload to meet targets. Excellent IT skills are required, predominantly Excel, Outlook and experience of using In House Systems. You should have an analytical approach and have strong attention to detail.

Location: Newcastle upon Tyne.

Job Title: Classroom Assistant Employer: North Tyneside Council Closing date: 05.12.2013 Salary: £13,371 - £14,211 per annum, pro rata Basic job description: A Classroom Assistant is required to work 16.6 hours per week at Hazlewood Community Primary School in Wideopen. Key responsibilities include providing support to children with mathematics, reading and writing on an individual, class or small group basis, helping develop programmes of learning activities and to adapt appropriate materials, motivating and encouraging pupils, assisting with marking and correcting work and helping with school events, trips and activities.

Person requirements: The successful candidate will have the necessary qualifications and experience and will be expected to have some understanding of interventions for less able children. The ability to work as part of a team, with an artistic flair and initiative will be an advantage.

Location: Wideopen.

Job Title: Personal Assistant Employer: Disability North Closing date: 13.12.2013 Salary: £7.80 per hour Basic job description: A Personal Assistant is required to support an 8 year old boy in social activities outside of the home.

Required for 4 hours per week, usually a Saturday, some personal care will be required. Closing date for applications is Midday Friday 13th December 2013 with Interviews being held on 18 December 2013.

Person Requirement: Knowledge/experience with autism would be advantageous, but training can be given. A driving licence is preferable, but not essential. The post is subject to a DBS check and references.

The successful applicant will be required to undertake a Disclosure and Barring Service check or provide details to enable a DBS update service check.

Location: Kenton, Newcastle upon Tyne.

The Courier

Speaker President given to joke choice causes controversy candidate University of Oxford

Westminster University

A “joke” candidate has been voted President of Oxford University Student Union (OUSU) with a landslide victory.

Louis Trup won with 1,685 votes, over 700 more than the expected winner Jane Cahill. The result came as a shock even to Trup who exclaimed “what the f*** just happened?” as his victory was announced.

Trup’s manifesto, coined his “pers o n i f e s t o” was written in crayon and included the policies of double beds for all students, world peace, and a monorail to the two colleges furthest from the town centre.

Trup’s cited reasons to vote for him were that he reads Geography and often wears flip-flops. However, his article in the student newspaper The Oxford Student, showed Trup’s serious intentions as he condemned the OUSU’s elections as “undemocratic”. OUSU received only 36 per cent student satisfaction in a National Student Survey this year, the worst in the country.

The Westminster Islamic Society (ISOC) have caused outrage at Westminster University by booking a controversial anti-gay and anti-Semitic Muslim scholar to give a speech to over 300 students. ISOC had originally arranged for the moderate Wasim Kempson to be a guest speaker but he was replaced by Sheikh Haitham Al-Haddad 24 hours before the speech.

Al-Haddad recently wrote an article entitled “Standing up against homosexuality and LGBTs” where he refers to homosexuality as a “scourge” and a “criminal act”.

Chloe, 21, a business student at the university said: “It makes me furious that we have such a homophobic and narrow-minded bigot talking to students.” Westminster Student Union defended the ISOC’s invitation. A statement from the nion read: “UWSU as an organisation does not endorse or support any views expressed by external speakers, neither does it seek to prevent freedom of speech.”

The Sun Offensive taken out comments of Uni shop ban team University of Leeds

Cardiff University

The Sun newspaper is to be banned from sale in Leeds University’s Student Union after a vote by students. The decision was made during the Better Union, Better University, Better Leeds Forums by a panel of twelve students who were selected to vote on the idea. The full motion asked the Union to support the ‘No to page three’ campaign as well as to stop the sale of The Sun in the building.

Tuma Hayek, a student against the banning of the Sun is starting a petition to force the decision to a referendum. “10 to me, seems a bit out of ratio compared to a student population of more than 30,000,” she said. The decision comes after the song “Blurred Lines” was banned from being played in the Union in September.

28 other UK Universities have banned The Sun from being sold as part of the campaign. Leeds Union sold around 7 copies of The Sun per week.

A University football team has been banned for two weeks after delivering a presentation on how to sleep with women with low self-esteem to a group of female students.

The speaker, from Cardiff University Football Club (CUFC), allegedly made jokes about date-rape and domestic violence. The punishment given also means the club has been barred from playing rivals Swansea University in its annual Varsity fixture.

A shocked member of the dance group said: “It was totally unacceptable. All of the girls were forced to the front to watch a PowerPoint which made light of girls with low self-esteem, spiking girls’ drinks, domestic violence and even rape. These are all real life issues facing women (and men) today and we should not have to deal with this kind of ‘lad culture’ anywhere, but especially in the university environment.”

Images: solsken/beefy_n1

Kathryn Riddell and Anna Templeton

Comment The Courier

.9

Monday 2 December 2013

thecourieronline.co.uk/comment

Comment Editors: Joe Wood and Lydia Carroll Deputy Comment Editor: Victoria Armstrong courier.comment@ncl.ac.uk | @Courier_Comment

Has Christmas become too much, too soon?

Christmas seems to go on for months. Is this a symptom of a society preoccupied with corporate greed and over-commercialisation, or should we embrace the opportunity to celebrate for as long as possible?

Image: Kevin Dooley, Flickr, Image altered

NO

Kate Dewey

OK, I’ll admit that when my house-mate wanted to start playing Christmas songs at the beginning of October, I objected. It even annoys me a little to see shops adorned with Christmas gifts and decorations before Halloween. But, after Bonfire Night, it is definitely acceptable to begin the delicious mince pie and gingerbread trail to Christmas. So yes, we’ve gone way beyond the ‘12 days of Christmas’ tradition and agreeably, Christmas is certainly now, more than ever, associated with gift giving.

Yet, to note it solely as a means to satisfy one’s appetite for materialistic gifts is surely incredibly reductionist and hollow. Christmas is a time of celebration, gracious gift giving and family, all of which are epitomised by the commercial world. Sure, Christmas advertising surrounds you, but the Christmas spirit would diminish if shops were devoid of all things tinselly and weren’t sprinkled with Christmas glitter. Eldon Square transforms into a Winter Wonderland. Crowds gathered around carol singers and school children all held hands and sang along; if this scene didn’t warm your heart, you’re a serious Scrooge.

And who can deny the magic of the Fenwick’s window? Queues of excited children waiting to catch a glimpse of the majestical, fantastical display. If this isn’t the best use of commercialism, to evoke Christmas joy, I don’t know what is. This sense of a merry community is the star on top of the tree and the essence of Christmas. This spirit can never arrive too early and commercialisation certainly doesn’t taint it.

YES

Christmas has become too over-commercialised. It used to focus chiefly on the sentimental value, but has now been amalgamated into the capitalist empire of modern society, putting profits over people. As such, this celebratory season now comes too soon, as we are now seeing festive decorations being erected as early as mid-November. Whatever happened to the ‘12 days of Christmas’? Society has become too wrapped up (if you’ll pardon the pun) in buying presents for one another and re-running the same songs on the radio over and over again, that it has forgot the true meaning of Christmas. Despite numerous accounts that the birth of Jesus Christ did not actually take place on the 25th December, the foundation-stone of the festival being that it is a time of peace, community and time spent with loved ones, cannot be denied.

It’s safe to say that the season being celebrated so prematurely is an outward manifestation of people’s materialistic obsessions. Christmas seems to be a never-ending period of time that emulates American electioneering, where voters are faced with incessant campaigning. Not to mention that before we even get to Christmas, we also have Pancake Day, Valentine’s Day, Mother’s Day, Easter Sunday, Father’s Day, Halloween and then Christmas. We are bombarded with event after event that pressures us into buying gifts for one another, divorcing us from the real values and actual harmonising messages of these occasions.

“Who can deny the magic of Fenwicks window?”

YES

Aaron Hedjazi

NO

Yes, the commercial world certainly comes alive at Christmas and bombards you with adverts for the perfect gift. Yes, we’ve evolved way past giving an orange or an apple. I use the word ‘evolved’ purely because the expanding technology of our generation allows for the development of different gifts. This does not in itself ‘distort’ the origin and sentimentality of Christmas. Instead I propose that Christmas has merely evolved, not to destruct the value of Christmas, but to enhance it.

The capability of the shops to use it as ‘a money-making initiative’ is surely fuelled by our desires to purchase gifts for our loved ones. Why is the commercialisation of Christmas so successful? Only because we want it to be. We love Christmas. As for advertising campaigns, the Christmas adverts are emblematic in their ability to capture the tradition of Christmas.

The release of John Lewis’ bear and the hare advert, central in personifying the good nature of Christmas, marked the start of the festive season. Here we are then, as a nation wrapped in the good will of Christmas, enhanced by the power of the commercialist world.

So Scrooge, are you honestly telling me that you aren’t captivated by the glittering lights, the festive baubles, the smell of warm mince pies and mulled wine, in defence of your anticonsumerist argument? Really, where’s the harm in starting Christmas early and dusting everything with the Christmas spirit? After all, ‘it’s the most wonderful time of the year’.

I unequivocally believe that society would actually appreciate Christmas more if it were to be reserved for its more traditional time-period, as Christmas spirit was arguably more prestigious back in the day than it is now. This is evident through having heard countless people I pass on the street say “it’s over-commercialised”, countless times. Many years ago, kids were grateful to have an apple and an orange in their stockings on Christmas Day, and perhaps a lot more content with what they had, but that’s certainly a far cry from the situation we have today. I don’t mind shops decking themselves out in Christmas decorations at all, but I would argue that the time-frame that has been distorted by businesses to cash in on a once cherished season as a money-making initiative.

To be honest, Christmas has been becoming exponentially distorted since it was conceived by society’s psyche. The holiday was originally a feast day focused on the birth of Christ, and then latterly it centred on St. Nicholas; a figure who later warped into ‘Santa’ and who technically doesn’t have much to do with Christmas itself. I stalwartly feel that commercialism has not enhanced the original sentimentality of Christmas, but it has rather warped the joy of celebrating the holidays, into an annual stress-fest of trying to meet the expectations of the holidays! I ask everyone who reads this, not to consider me as a “Christmas killjoy” or as a Scrooge, but to embark on their own personal reflection of what Christmas is really all about, whilst looking beyond the façade of consumerism.

“The time-frame of Christmas has been distorted by businesses to cash in on a once cherished season”

Image: Mike Licht

What’s Cher chirpsing?

What she said:

Go to dictionary,& look up The “C”Word,....next 2 the definition...you’ll see a Pic of Sarah PALIN ! NO... WAIT ...

SHES UNDER DUMB C WORD

What she meant:

I disagree with Sarah Palin’s political stance.

What she said:

“Am here ready to get foot fixed ! If I die ..... DOUBLE MY LAST TWT & Throw in the T -JIHADISTS LOVIN MY CREW”

What she meant:

I hope my foot operation goes well.

What she said:

“LUVS IHFYI, SIRENS,RED, TIL AM DTK, IWA, YHSTLOM, FS, I HAVE Tech IDEAS, HOW 2GET LOTS OF THEM IN. Personally I would love 2 COMPLETELY recreate W2B”

What she meant:

Help me. Please. Help me.

What she said:

Wait !Wtf is this new OS ? I hate it ! I go away for a fkng NANO SEC. & its Diff. !! I’m almost 100... I’m OG,OS(Old School) don’t like NEW

What she meant:

I don’t like the new apple update.

Jamie Shepherd

10.comment

SOAP BOX

Monday 2 December 2013

The Pope: saint or sinner?

Opinions on him may vary, but does Pope Francis really signal a new, more progressive era for the Roman Catholic Church?

Image: Semilla Luz, Flickr, Image altered

PROMOTERS Now I know that this is a job some of you use pay your bills, and at the end of the day you’re ultimately there to make ends meet. However, some of you promoters seem to think that a rejection of a flyer or wristband is an excuse to pester someone even further with your offers and deals while they are on their way to lectures by shadowing them. It’s gotten to the point where I have seen people take your promo stuff just to get you to back away.

This kind of pressure selling isn’t on. Firstly, why on Earth do you think someone would be inclined to take your bands/flyers on the way to their lectures? I know this definitely isn’t quite as appealing - especially in December - but why not have people stood along Lover’s Lane or Leazes path during the evening when people are looking to actually go out clubbing, rather than the middle of the day?

If your income is based on how much stuff you get rid of, then surely you’d also stand a greater chance of making more money, too.

Lewis Barclay

XENOPHOBIA A headline in last Monday’s Daily Telegraph almost managed to give me a mini-aneurysm: “Half of Britons think Romanians and Bulgarians should not be allowed to live or work in UK”. This coming only after the news that student loans for Bulgarians and Romanians, who have been living in the UK for the past three years, will be frozen, come January 2014. What will happen next week, I wonder?

What’s the next headline that will make me chew on my nails and pull my hair out in anguish? I really don’t want to play the discrimination card, because I realize there are a lot of workers from these two countries that come to the UK for the good pay check and the free health care. However, that’s not all of them.

There are people like I, dear government officials, who are here to live, study, work, and pay their taxes. Kindly stop scaremongering and scapegoating us. It’s only your loss to do so. For a self-proclaimed multicultural society, you sure do your best to alienate a good part of your potential work force.

Antonia Velikova

T.O.W.I.E There are a million things that I could write a soapbox on; wind-farm whiners, racism or Tories are just a few things that spring to mind when I consider the evils that beset men. None so prominently though, as T.O.W.I.E, which I think has two main kind of viewers - viewer number one watches it in the same way Romans watched the gladiator pits, pure disgusting spectacle (which I can almost get on board with). Viewer number two is taken in by ‘real people in modified situations, saying unscripted lines but in a structured way’, and by that I mean absolute drivel; viewer number two is a turd. How can anyone actually get absorbed by a bunch of vapid incompetents complaining about their rich people problems? There is absolutely no point in watching a bunch of Abercrombie & Fart-faces whinnying about their terrible life whilst driving a car that costs more than the yearly income of a third world government.

Hate me all you want, I don’t care – T.O.W.I.E is just like a bowl of Frosties, “just cornflakes for people who can’t deal with reality”.

David Leighton

The Courier

Jamie Shepherd

W

hen Pope Benedict stepped down earlier this year, tongues were certainly set wagging. The official reason given was that Benedict wanted to resign before his health deteriorated beyond his capabilities to act in Papal Office. I would, however, like to question just how hard it really would be for the man dubbed as God’s Rottweiler to carry out God’s work when the majority of his acts seemed to entail condemning homosexuals to a grim and fiery damnation, with the fire and brimstone rhetoric we’d expect from some jumped-up, medieval, village preacher.

Leaving eternal damnation to one side, it is true that in his relatively short time in Papal Office, Benedict did take a much more conservative stance as Pope in comparison to the beloved John Paul II, who’s rhetoric was of a much more humble and gracious stance, but even John Paul is now starting to look like Generalissimo Franco in comparison to the new kid on the block.

You may have seen recent images of the new Argentine Pope Francis kissing the disfigured face of

Hillary Clinton left speechless after Barack Obama’s unanticipated trouser malfunction

Image: sskennel

#NewEra

a man suffering from a horrific skin condition that had caused it to swell and develop hideous pustules over his face.

You might have heard Francis’s call for compassionate aid in the ongoing Syrian crisis where other world opinion leaders have called for brute force or even, to some extents, ignored the issue. You may

also approve of his less lavish lifestyle, in comparison to previous pontiffs in that he eschewed the bodyguards or the bulletproof Popemobile of his predecessors in favour of a significantly less Papal Peugeot.

But whilst more and more of the Pope’s actions, such as slamming Mafia corruption within the Church, denying Nazi collaborators Catholic fu-

neral rites, calling for greater inclusion and respect to gay Catholics to end discrimination and prejudice, I still feel that all of these actions are nothing more than an act of atonement.

The Catholic Church has been plagued with corruption to such an extent that we cannot help but have the accusations of abuse and misogyny placed firmly in the foreground. It may be the case that although Francis may be trying to undo the centuries old doctrines of previous Pope’s and make it more appropriate to world of the 21st Century, we have to consider the size of the Catholic Church itself.

Like any super-sized institution, the actions of the director-general, or in this case the Pope, are not indicative of the actions of the entire organisation. While Francis may appear to be some great, liberal trailblazer here to shake things up, we have to consider the influence of the old-guard and the sheer scale of the cultural differences between Catholics worldwide.

Francis is attempting to re-brand the Church after the scandals of its pasts, however Francis’ efforts are still relatively limited in considering the scope and scale of what he actually has to atone for- centuries of misogyny, homophobia, paedophilia, oppression, and repression. Are you sure you’re up for that, Frankie?

Lucas Film raise concerns over the fitness of supporting actors in the new Star Wars Episode VII

Criticisms made public against mannequin outlet, with suspected right-wing sympathies

I feel that these actions are nothing more than an act of atonement

Image: Dennis From Atlanta

Image: FlickrJunkie

Joe Wood

The Courier

comment.11

Monday 2 December 2013

Ratemash: ready, set, mash

The

Voice of

Reason

Is Ratemash abusing Facebook privacy settings to invade our profiles, or are they simply using the permission we have all tacitly given?

Jennifer Cannon

A

fter the rapid rise of apps like Tinder and ShagatUni over the past year or so, it would seem that the online dating landscape has broadened its appeal to students looking for casual ‘hookups.’ The number of users these sites attract might suggest that students, on the whole, are comfortable with allowing others to view and judge their pictures and personal information, but a recent investigation launched

by Facebook into one such site raises the question: how much is too much?

Student site Ratemash.com has been displaying photos of students without permission, and allowing its users to rate them on a scale of ‘hotness.’

The site claims to ‘sort out your nightlife’ by direct-

sign up, you won’t appear. Ratemash, on the other hand, has no such saving grace.

Not only does it currently display the pictures of 150,000 students without their knowledge or approval, but the pictures on the leaderboard have a redirect link to their Facebook profiles, opening the floodgates for online stalking by total strangers.

Students with looser privacy settings could also be vulnerable to email addresses and phone numbers being accessible, making it alarmingly easy for stalking to cross the line from online to reality.

University authorities across the country have condemned Ratemash, labelling it ‘an appalling invasion of privacy.’ But for all the talk, there has been little action other than generic advice for students to be careful on the internet, and to be vigilant with privacy settings.

Unquestionably good advice, but placing the emphasis on the student skims a little too close to vic-

tim-blaming for comfort. Is the implication that if your information is unguarded on Facebook, websites have the right to take it and display it however they see fit?

Perhaps an open profile is the online equivalent of walking down a dark alleyway alone: if you’re mugged people will sympathise, but the chances are they’ll chastise you for being so careless, too.

While small, Ratemash draws attention to the fact that really, the Internet is still pretty lawless.

Facebook is investigating this instance, but to rely on one social media corporation as a moral authority for the whole Internet might not be the wisest of choices.

In a world where interaction is increasingly digitised, we need to know for sure: who is responsible for protecting us online, and will anyone do anything about it if we’re put at risk?

Ratemash draws attention to the fact that really, the internet is still pretty lawless ing you to clubs near the ‘hottest students’ – 138 universities are featured, including Newcastle and Northumbria, and each has a leaderboard where pictures of the students who have been judged as the most attractive are displayed.

Michael Healy, who runs the site, has claimed that it is better than Tinder, which he finds ‘creepy.’

He claims that ‘the aim is to make it easier to go out and meet new people in universities.’

Many of the arguments against Ratemash have condemned its emphasis on objectification and considering individuals on the merits of their ‘hotness.’ While this is by no means a positive thing, this is a not a criticism that is restricted to Ratemash: almost all sites of this nature have been called out for their focus on the physical.

However, a cynic might question how different this really is from those who go looking for casual sex on a night out - I’d be willing to bet that no couple has ever gone home from Sinners together based on a mutual love of Virginia Woolf.

But there is an important distinction with Ratemash: consent. For all their flaws, Tinder and sites like it are completely voluntary, and if you don’t

A man called hypocrisy

Was Ian Watkins able to hide his paedophilia behind his celebrity status and reputation?

Katy Turner

O

ut of all the recent celebrity sex-offender scandals, it has definitely been the Ian Watkins ordeal which has shocked me the most. The fact that fourteen year old me had a poster of this baby-raping paedophile on her wall may have something to do with it.

The former lead singer of Welsh rock band, Lostprophets, was accused at Cardiff Crown Court of 24 separate sex-related offences, where he exploited fans, extremely young children and even animals. He pleaded guilty to 13 of the charges, attempting to justify his actions by claiming to be high on crack cocaine and crystal meth.

The fact he has been allowed to commit this horrific abuse, while simultaneously living a rockstar lifestyle, is a disgrace. In the past five years, the band has sold millions of albums, received numerous awards and has performed in worldwide tours.

However, it seems that this celebrity status has been used as a cover-up to mask Watkins’ true identity. We have to question the integrity of his

other bandmates; are we really expected to believe they were completely unaware of something so shameful taking place right under their noses?

He is due to be sentenced next month and for the sake of the victims and the fans, I sincerely hope that justice will be done. For it is these people who will suffer the most from this, having been humiliated, deceived and betrayed in the worst way pos-

It seems this celebrity status has been used to cover up Watkin’s true identity sible. The fallen star even led his loyal fans (many of whom stood outside the courtroom in support) to believe he was innocent right up until his admittance. Suddenly ‘A Town Called Hypocrisy’ takes on a whole new meaning.

As in the cases of Gary Glitter, Jimmy Saville and

Rolf Harris, we are left to decide how the recent revelations impact on the positive achievements of these celebrities. Some might argue that sex pest or not, Saville for example, raised millions for charity and this cannot simply be disregarded.

True as this may be, I couldn’t help but cringe yesterday when a Lostprophets song came on my iPod after putting it on shuffle. Music is a form of self-expression and it somehow felt inherently wrong to be listening to the inner thoughts and feelings of a man capable of such vile acts.

Some people may be able to separate the persona from the art, but for me, they are intrinsically linked. Although there is no evidence whatsoever that Lostprophets’ lyrics reflect anything untoward, I simply cannot help but feel the music is now tainted, dirty even. From a moral stance, I do not want to be even associated with a band I have lost all respect for.

If the shocking events of the past year have taught us anything, it is that celebrities need to be more closely scrutinised.

It is a sad irony that we follow their lives in the public eye and are under the impression that we know every little thing about them, when in reality, we know nothing at all.

No. 8: The Nightmare continues

H

ail dear readers! The unnecessary hype of Novristmas has been banished! But alas, that was a mere appetiser to the godforsaken monster that is the actual holiday season. Soon we will see the little scoundrels leaving the secure daytime penitentiaries that are our state schools and then the Christmas shopping hooligans will flock in their thousands to their beloved Pleb-mark looking forward to frivolously spending their state hand-outs on whatever asinine clothing trend is dominating the current wintery season.

I had the terrible misfortune of coming across such a family on my way to the haberdasher about a new button on my favourite gown. The youngest, who had the tenacity to touch my fur - YES, MY FUR - with her outrageously greasy digits seemed cheerful at the notion of seeing ‘Father at Christmas and his reindeer’ or something like that.

I therefore concluded that this child had in fact spawned from one of those ‘broken homes’ Timmons once told me about on Halloween in a dastardly attempt to scare me. To think that in this day and age a father who could clearly not keep his children well groomed and disciplined would still be using reindeer as a method of travel.

This kind of ridiculousness seems to still captivate our once great nation into going out to merely watch some seasonal street lights turn on. As if the yobbos weren’t already wasting time carving pumpkins with their street weapons and setting fire to mannequins to quench their thirst for destruction not more than a month earlier.

And to think a bunch of rapscallions rapped their dirty knuckles hands on my solid wood door and ask for donations of both food and money for what they profusely declared as ‘good causes’. BAH! I would rather have those socialists coming to my door preaching about inequality of the masses and asking for my participation in this democracy through my vote.

I did not dominate the 2006 season of Crufts with my exquisite demeanour and mild manners to have to be forced to listen to these blaggards in my porch! I had Timmons contact the local authorities to ensure they realised that my only good tidings to them this season would be that I would not press charges against their surely unlawful behaviour.

These rants of mine may lead you to the conclusion that I do not care for this season in the slightest. That I look forward to the longer nights and colder temperatures merely because I no longer have to witness that feline scoundrel traipsing across my orchid in search of avians to feast upon like the barbarian that he is.

This however, is not the only thing I look forward to this season. Something else that I look forward to with every passing year is that if there really were such a thing as a ‘Christmas wish’ that it be this holiday season to be the last I hear from ‘Wizzard’ and his frankly macabre desire to have these decadent celebrations every day.

Yours,

Pugs Illustration by Flora Anderson Overheard by Lewis Barclay

Pugs has got a new iPad, and he’s been dictating tweets to his manservant Timmons. Follow him on Twitter at @LaVoiceofReason

12.lifestyle

Monday 2 December 2013

The Courier

Lifestyle Editors: Evie O’Sullivan, Elizabeth Archer, Hazel Parnell and Katie Smith

It’s a boy/girl thing...

How much is too much to spend on a Christmas present?

Annie Lord

Stage fright #4

R

ecently I had a borderline inappropriate fling with an attractive older man named James, who broke the ‘half your age plus seven’ rule when he asked me out after meeting me at a wedding.

He walked up to me and commented on how he could see my underwear through my dress and I instantly fancied him. We met later in Leeds for a drink and I was pleasantly surprised when I found he was completely different to any boy I had ever gone out with. He was polite and respectful, he opened doors for me, texted back when he said he would, bought me drinks... I felt like some sort of dangerous seductress. This is a completely new phenomenon compared to my experience with my twisted life long crush Charlie, whom I went out with in year 9, a relationship I am yet to get over.

Charlie has seen me at my worst, he’s held my hair back whilst I’ve been sick, seen me cry till my eye-makeup slides down to my chin and watched me have a wee outside several pubs. He even forgave me when I physically abused him after seeing him kiss another girl. With James I sip wine under bouncy coiffed hair, I wiggle my hips when I walk, toss my hair and laugh at his jokes. I’m just glad that he was out having a cig at the part of the wedding when I was so drunk I got with a 16 year old family friend amidst the continental buffet, otherwise our affair would have failed from the outset.

With Charlie, I would wait at least an hour before texting him back, flirt with other boys in front of him and show numerous drafts and re-drafts of text messages to my friends- winky face or no winky face? How many kisses? He put three last time so I’ll put two. Other disadvantages of our relationship includes the fact that he has snogged half my friendship group.

“I experienced a series of minor identity crises in which I often questioned whether within my mind there existed of some sort of Freudian dad complex” Despite the security I found with James, during our fling I experienced a series of minor identity crises in which I often questioned whether within my mind there existed of some sort of Freudian dad complex. He called other guys ‘champ’ and ‘sport,’ he also greeted everyone with ‘ni hao’ clearly trying to sound cultural when it is probably the only bit of foreign language he has ever learnt. He also repeatedly said ‘at the end of the day’ after every sentence which I’m pretty sure has no meaning whatsoever. He looked hot in a suit but around the house he would wear tracksuits which made him look like he was suffering from a premature midlife crisis. The beginning of the end of our romance came when he was dropping me home one night - I was midway through moaning about the lack of night life in Pool village when he described the area as a ‘suitable place to bring up children.’ Sat there in his sensible golf polo I suffered a moment of intense clarity –yes, I thought, I am the child my parents thought fit to bring up here, not the prospective mother of your children.

Perhaps men never grow up, James has started ignoring my texts and the last time I saw him was on a night out in which he was doing pushups on the side of the club and drinking pints off his bicep. And whilst my fling with James may be over, my cringey unrelenting love for Charlie shows no sign of deterioration as I repeatedly go on the nights out I know he promotes for. Perhaps I need to join match.com and start looking for a pensioner?

T

his really depends on the question: how long have you been together? In the case of a new romance then you should definitely go for a lighthearted, low budget gift.

Being overly keen and flashy is awkward if you haven’t been dating long.

However, if like me, you’re in a long-term relationship, Christmas presents can be a good excuse to splash out although there is some truth to the saying ‘it’s the thought that counts’, all girls like to be spoilt. If you’re in the financial position to splurge, what better way to spend your money than on your bf/gf? Nothing beats the feeling of giving that special someone a present you know they really wanted.

But the sad fact of the matter is, money goes nowhere

“The sad fact of the matter is, money goes nowhere nowadays.” nowadays. Even if you were to buy your boyfriend some boxers you’re looking at £25 for a decent pair… and that’s one pair. So spend your money wisely and go for something meaningful. Although it does help, money can’t buy happiness and nothing beats a gift which shows how well the buyer knows you.

One of the most thoughtful present ideas in my opinion is an experience which creates memories; although I might not be able to remember every birthday or Christmas present I have ever received, I definitely remember holidays and events. Sometimes, instead of opening a physical present it can be fun to do something together. These can range in price from the student-friendly to the frankly ridiculous.

If money isn’t an issue I see nothing wrong with spending a couple of hundred pounds on a bf/gf to treat them to something they really covet, or to pay for something the two of you will experience. Yet if like most students you are on budget, spending a lot of money is not necessary as long as the gift is thoughtful. I don’t think there is a set amount of money people should spend. Providing they aren’t bankrupting themselves and the gift is meaningful, the price doesn’t matter – decadent or free. The only thing I would advise is to set a budget or else it will be pretty awkward when he buys you a Tiffany necklace and you give him a DVD (or vice versa).

I

t’s always a contentious question of how much to spend on one’s boo at this festive time of year. Well here’s the answer: there is no answer. The thing is, the Christmas present is more than a present because it’s an expression of your feelings for someone for instance, I would buy my dad socks in recognition of the fact that he has me and that in itself is the best present he could ever wish for.

It’s a bit different for girlfriends though. There are those that would argue you should go all out, since there are only two times of year you can spoil your other half, their birthday and Christmas. Dare I mention that for birthdays there may be an extra present in the bedroom department, whereas this is less likely at Christmas.

Back to the issue of presents. You could buy her that £200 Pandora bracelet she’s been craving, and she would love it and probably keep it forever (or as long as you’re together) but there is an issue, if you break up, you ain’t getting that money or bracelet back, she’s keeping it and potentially selling it. Imagine the pain! A broken heart and 200 quid down the drain.

You could also offer her that expensive dress she’s always wanted. She will look stunning (not that she doesn’t all the time anyway) but the likelihood is that she will wear it once then claim ‘she’s worn it once so can’t be seen in it again’.

On the other hand, there is the meaningful present. Something that is personal to your relationship, something that will tug on the heart strings rather than the purse strings. It may seem stingy but why spend a stupid amount of money on something they might not even like when you can get something that would mean the world. For instance, this year I’m going to buy my special someone a hat, amongst other things, because this certain someone doesn’t have one. Furthermore, it’s not to say you shouldn’t spend money as it’s a nice thing to do but student loans are tight these days and with rents and bills coming through, I’d suggest setting each other a budget. Suggest a couple of things you might want that are reasonable then it gives you the option (if anything left in the budget) you can place out on something nice.

I don’t agree with those who say you can’t give them something nice on a budget. I dare say my brothers love some of the presents I’ve given them previously, one was a genuine stomp rocket. That meant more than a watch, he’s already got a watch. Get my point?

Money isn’t everything in buying presents for your girlfriend.

Illustrations by Daisy Billowes

Jess Belton

Josh Nicholson

Pimp yo’ crib for Christmas Wrapping Paper Bunting

Angel Chains

Hanging Paper Twists

If paper chains are quite frankly too much of a faff, get a couple of sheets of wrapping paper and cut into triangles, with sides approximately 10cm long. Simply tape them evenly along a piece of string, hang and admire.

Another absolute classic. Wrapping paper is the best way forward, because you can be sure the strip of paper will be long enough. Go for the classic concertina: cut a length of paper about 1 metre long and 10 cm wide and fold it about every 10 cm. Draw your angel on one end and cut her out, but don’t make the classic childhood error of cutting off the folds!! It would be a most unseasonal massacre.

This looks so pretty, that it will even look good made with lecture note scraps. But, decorated paper will work just as well… Use a square sheet of paper, and fold it into quarters, corner to corner, until you have a small triangle.

Cut four evenly spaced strips along the most recently folded edge (the edge with one fold) making the cuts parallel to the paper’s edge.

Open up the square of paper, and the shape should look like five triangles from the centre to the edge of the paper. Take the two inner most triangles from the cuts, and staple them together. Turn the paper over, and staple together the next two triangle cuts on the opposite side. Continue this technique until all the triangles are stapled to their other, and the shape is a pretty tapered cylinder. Run a piece of string through the top and tie to your tree.

Jam Jar Scented Candle This candle can be a gift, a tree decoration, hanging in the hallway or a few together just looking purrdy on the table! You’ll need a clean empty jam jar, and a pillar candle (Asda have some good chunky ones for literally a pound each). Melt your candle in a heat-proof bowl over a pan of boiling water. Carefully get the wick out. To flavour, sprinkle in a good pinch of cinnamon powder and a teaspoon of vanilla essence whilst the wax is still liquid. Once stirred, slowly pour the wax mix into the jam jar, holding the wick down the centre of the jam jar, so that it runs to the bottom but sticks out at the top. Leave to cool and set completely. Decorate your candle with a bit of ribbon or a strip of brown paper with a Christmas pattern.

Heart Paper Chains This is the classic one. If you grew up in the nineties, you were brought up on paper chains.

Make them with a twist. Cut cheap coloured scraps of card, or thick wrapping paper, or magazines into strips 2 cm thick and 25 cm long. Fold each strip in half evenly, and then use a stapler to attach the two ends together making a hearth shape. Continue making the heart shapes, linking them together as you go.

They look best in long strands, hung curved from the ceiling.

Cushion Presents A cute, quick and cheap trick… turn your cushions into Christmas presents! Grab a couple of meters of thick ribbon or tinsel, and tie around your cushions into a big bow.

Simple and effective!

Jenny Dodsworth

Culture The Courier

.13

Monday 2 December 2013

thecourieronline.co.uk/culture

Culture Editor: Sam Summers Sections: Lifestyle, Fashion, Beauty, Arts, Music, Film, TV and Science courier.culture@ncl.ac.uk | @CourierOnline

Emmanuel Lawal, 2nd Year Geographic Information Science meets Olivia Codd, 3rd Year Law

Where?

Pacific Bar Who paid?

Emmanuel

Liv on Emmanuel

What did you drink?

Double G&T, Triple G&T and a fair few pints

Describe your first impression of him in three words.

Polite, chiselled and smiley.

Emmanuel on Liv

What’s your usual type and how far did he meet it?

Hmm... they have to be funny and preferably tall, dark and handsome. And yeah, given a look at my ex you might say he did.

Did the conversation flow well?

On the whole it was really smooth as there wasn’t anything too awkward or weird, thankfully.

What were your first impressions of her in three words?

Pretty, peachy bum and curvy (in all the right places).

So no awkward moments at all then?

Not really. Well, in fact, he did step on my foot when we walked into the bar and he tried to play footsie with me under the table.

What is your usual type and did she fit it?

Small and cute and yeah, she did fit the bill.

Keen. Very keen. What were his best and worst traits, do you think?

He had a lovely big smile but the worst was that he wouldn’t let me pay for myself.

Any awkward moments?

I am ‘Mr. Awkward’ but no, not really. I did have a few warm up pints before I met her... but she was really chatty and easy to talk to so conversation flowed well. Also, I realised that we had met briefly before as I got with her mate at a flat party. Such a lad.

Sounds terrible! So at any point on the date did you understand why he might be single?

He said he is always pretty busy. In fact, I think he told me his plans for every night that week.

Is that a hint maybe?

“She seems really smart and I like to be the smart one usually”

Did you open the ‘ex-files’?

No, thankfully!

What do you think your parents would make of him?

I think my mum and dad would love him and my brother would definitely fancy him.

Any weird conversation topics?

Not really. She did talk a lot about law cases, though.

Can you understand why she’s single?

No idea. She is a lovely girl.

Aw, how sweet. What are her best and worst features?

Best was a really nice smile.Worst was probably that she seems really smart and I like to be the smart one usually.

Would you introduce her to your mum?

Sure yeah, she’s well spoken and my mum would definitely like that.

Snog, shag or “see ya bye”?

Snog. For now.

Would your flatmates approve?

Haha. Well do you Evie? No, but I think they would despite the fact that he got with one of my other friends before in my bed (without me knowing who he was may I add).

Oh the romance. So what would your ideal date be?

I’m not picky at all. I’d like something fun. Not just a standard dinner date but something to show that he’s made a real effort. A picnic would be cute.

“He tried to play footsie with me under the table”

Would you take her on a second date?

Yeah, definitely.

Cute, sexy or hot?

Definitely cute and sexy.

How did it end?

We watched Made in Chelsea back at my flat. Intimate Monday nights and all that.

So were you not tempted to lean in for a kiss?

Hmm I did actually consider it at the end but I thought I’d be a gentleman.

Rate yo’ date: An 8 I reckon.

How did the date end? Anything naughty?

Nope, nothing naughty you sly dog. We went back to his flat to watch Made in Chelsea, had a cuppa and then he walked me home.

Snog, shag or “see ya bye”?

Snog. It would have to come before a shag... well you would hope anyway.

Do you think you’ll see each other again?

Yeah. Why not?

Rate yo’ date: 8.

Unlucky in love? The Courier is here to help!

Send your details to: c2.lifestyle@ncl.ac.uk

14.lifestyle

Monday 2 December 2013

The Courier

Lifestyle Editors: Evie O’Sullivan, Elizabeth Archer, Hazel Parnell and Katie Smith

Fran and Millie

Healthy Christmas Biscuits

B

y replacing a few key ingredients with healthy alternatives (eg. Sugar to honey) you can make a batch of biscuits that are delicious and virtually guilt free. For this recipe we’ve used Christmas themed cookie cutters to produce beautiful looking biscuits that make perfect gifts if you’re strapped for cash or are having difficulty in deciding what to buy your secret Santa!

Ingredients (makes about 15 biscuits depending on size) 1 cup flour (preferably wholemeal) 1/4 cup runny honey 1 tablespoon vanilla extract 1 teaspoon baking powder 1 teaspoon cinnamon (more if you want a Christmassy taste) 1 medium egg 2 tablespoons sunflower oil Optional: 2 tablespoons cacao (if you want a chocolate batch) Desiccated coconut Dark chocolate (70% or darker) Sprinkles Method

1. Combine all of the ingredients in a bowl and mix.

2. If the mixture looks too wet add extra flour.

3. We added cocoa to half of the dough to make chocolate biscuits.

4. Pop the dough in the fridge for about 10 mins so it’s easier to roll and cut out. Whilst the dough is cooling, heat the oven to 100.

5. Sprinkle a surface with flour and roll the mixture out. We found 1/2 cm thickness was ideal.

6. Line a baking tray with grease proof paper and organise the biscuits onto the surface.

7. Cook for about 8-10 minutes. Keep an eye on them as they go from golden to burnt very quickly!

8. When cool, decorate! We used dark chocolate instead of icing sugar for an extra indulgent taste. Chocolate is also a great way to beat the winter blues as it releases endorphins and using dark means that you’re less likely to binge. Plus it makes you feel really grown up.

If you’re looking to give the biscuits as gifts layer a selection in a gift box and tie with a ribbon. If you have different sized cutters you could organise the biscuits in ascending order and wrap with tissue paper to give to that special someone.

Battle of the festive menus

The Fat Hippo

Who says hippos don’t love Crimbo dinner?

Kathryn Holland headed to the home away from home that is The Fat Hippo.

Wear your sweats or stretchy jeans and be ready to hit Ozzy Road after your appetite is sated Throw away any memories of bad burgers after a night out in the Toon, The Fat Hippo’s burgers will blow your mind. I’ve been previously and had a burger off the regular menu, which was delicious, so I was excited to see what they’d come up with for the Christmas menu. The cognac milkshake we had for starters was amazing. I wouldn’t usually choose a milkshake for a starter but it was nice and light and the brandy in it screams ‘Christmas’.

The burger was HUGE, luckily I hadn’t eaten much that day and my friend has a big appetite. The cranberry sauce and Camembert together were delicious and made the burger feel extra festive. The triple fried chips, served in their own kitsch little bucket were crisp on the outside and wonderfully fluffy on the inner, and fantastic dipped in the gravy. The winterberry sorbet offered a slight respite after the huge main and was wonderfully refreshing and tangy.

The interior has a fantastic homely feel with

a mixmatch of furniture, a great selection of funky artwork and little hippo ornaments dotted around the place. The staff are pleasant and extremely helpful without being overbearing, they make you feel completely at ease and able to relax.

All in all, at around £20 for three courses how can you not want to head down to The Fat Hippo to get you in the mood for Christmas and to forget the inevitability of January exams! Make sure you book though as there were always people waiting for a table. It’s that good.

Describe the restaurant in 3 fun words: Rustic, cosy and delicious.

Who would go with and why?

A great place for an intimate meal with your friends or family, or alternatively a third or fourth date.

What did you and your friend order?

Both of us had the same as they had ordered things in especially.

For starters we had Brandy-Cognac milkshakes, followed by a venison burger, topped with Camembert and cranberry sauce, accompanied by ‘Winterslaw’, red wine gravy, and homemade chips. For dessert a winterberry sorbet.

How ‘Christmassy’ or ‘Winter Cool’ was it? 1 = ‘The Tropics’, 10= The ‘North Pole’ 8. Great food to get you in the festive mood, without being too like the big meal on Christmas Day. Was it ‘Classic’ or ‘Alternative’?

Definitely an alternative to the classic Turkey and all the trimmings and means nothing will be competing against Mum’s Christmas roast.

I can love them both, guilt-free.

The Slug and Lettuce Describe the restaurant in 3 fun words: Conglomerate, Chain, Christmas (alliteration is purely coincidental).

Who would you go with and why?

Business lunch springs to mind.

What did you and your friend order?

Tomato soup and turkey dinner with the trimmings – this sadly dwindled through the course of the meal, which left me feeling not ‘Christmassy’ but just plain ‘cold’.

How ‘Christmassy’ or ‘Winter Cool’ was it? 1 = ‘The Tropics’, 10= The ‘North Pole’ 5 – I think this hereby translates as ‘commercial’, the yardstick for any western Christian festival, I find.

Classic or alternative?

Classic, no new tricks here…

William Ibbott ventured down to the quirky Quayside, escaping student central to the civilised waters edge. On the top of his Christmas list was a meal at The Slug and Lettuce, but was it everything he asked Santa for?

The festive season, which officially annually falls when Tesco sell out of pumpkin trick-or-treat bags and witch wigs, is running in full hubris in the city centre (that is, if the pedestrian gridlock and coordinated cat’s cradle of Christmas lights on Northumberland Street is anything to go by), but has yet to hold any sway down by the Quayside. Or in the Slug and Lettuce for that matter, where the only visual cues I get are the artificial tree parked in the doorway and the set of Christmas crackers appointed at our table, which the serving staff instruct us to open and don our hats, presumably as a covenant for free grub. “Nngh” I sigh in dissent, a knee-jerk response which I find is alarmingly similar to the manner in how I respond to airport security regulations when I’m ordered to remove my shoes.

I confess now; I’ve always been a bit of a Scrooge.

While my dining companion fumbles with the camera to capture the hearty fare from a bevy of artistic angles, I use our optimal window-seat location to scan the interiors of the restaurant and pursue the art of watching the world drift by on the banks of the Tyne and its steely grey hues.

Admittedly, the Slug & Lettuce still hasn’t affected an air of Christmas about it, and I’m gripped with the notion that I’m essentially in an upmarket Weatherspoons pub. The starter of tomato soup is nonetheless a pleasing hors d’oeuvre; even more so as I now believe that any soup that doesn’t originate from a sachet is verging on gourmet. The main course is meagre however, and while the gravy is done justice by a kick of red wine as an ingredient, tucking into the roast potatoes are like chewing on desiccated sponge. I stopped by the market at Monument on my way back through town to satiate my sweet tooth.

The Courier

lifestyle.15

Monday 2 December 2013

The Living Room Describe the restaurant in 3 fun words: Friendly, efficient and cosmopolitan.

Who would go with and why?

This is a winner because it does mean (should you be able to afford it) that it’s a place for all occasions. Honestly, you could quite easily take someone on a romantic, tasty date or just go there for a catch up with a few friends; it’s a very inclusive atmosphere – however for most students I’d say it’s probably a special occasion, treat yourself kind of place.

What did you and your friend order?

I ordered the (most expensive) steak, and some kind of sticky chicken wings that were absolutely delicious and my friend had the risotto.

How ‘Christmassy’ or ‘Winter Cool’ was it?

1 = ‘The Tropics’, 10 = The ‘North Pole’ I’d give it a solid 8/10, it’s more Canada than Lapland but it’s only November to be fair, so I feel that’s not really a problem.

Was it ‘Classic’ or ‘Alternative’?

The menu was classic, lots of wintery-warming food, soup, steak, stew and some lovely wines.

thecourieronline.co.uk/lifestyle c2.lifestyle@ncl.ac.uk | @Courier_Life

It’s Grey Street chic and perfect for something with that extra twinkle. The Living Room is where you go to go all out, on with your fur and KGs. David Livingston buttons up a shirt and heads to the classiest joint in town

Before venturing to Grey Street, the Lifestyle girls told me how amazing the Living Room is, and how much they love it.

I can honestly say, I was not disappointed.

As always I ordered my steak medium rare because that’s usually the hardest one for a restaurant to get right, it’s always chewy or too rare… the Living Room got it right, kudos. I tried my friend’s risotto and I have to say it was excellent although (and I do hate to be this guy) for a starter the portion was a little large, she barely had room for the main. But really, that’s more of a backhanded compliment. For me, the best thing I tasted all night was the peppercorn sauce for the steak; honest to goodness it was bloody divine. I had a try

of two different types of wine, the house rose & the house white and they were also nice. The rose in particular was very light but still tasty, which was excellent. In terms of a number rating, I’d say it was a nice solid 8/10, only marked down a little because it is very expensive, but then you get what you pay for. To sum up, if you want a treat (or y o u’r e just a rich little stud-muffin), t h e Living Room is an excellent night out, great food, great service and a really warm and friendly atmosphere – it definitely gets a recommendation from me.

Electric East

Kate Bennett took a trip on the spicier side of Christmas, for an Oriental alternative to your bog standard roast. Take a tropical vacation in Electric East, a quirky spin on the traditional

Describe the restaurant in 3 fun words: Friendly, spacious, interesting Who would go with and why?

Friends, for a birthday meal or other celebration What did you and your friend order?

I had: Chinese braised sticky spare ribs Chinese slow braised beef shin with hot and sour salad and steamed rice Chinese five spice panna cotta with palm sugar poached pears Friend had: Star anise broth served with steamed duck dumplings Thai light red curry with Turkey served with steamed rice Christmas pudding crumble tart served with a brandy custard sauce How ‘Christmassy’ or ‘Winter Cool’ was it? 1 = ‘The Tropics’, 10= The ‘North Pole’ 2 out of 10 for Christmassiness – however, who doesn’t love a Christmas holiday? Think ‘Santa and Sunshine’.

Was it ‘Classic’ or ‘Alternative’?

Alternative

Electric East is pretty hard to find but it’s worth it when you eventually blunder in. The décor is interesting: think an airy, spacious Thai bazaar with a hint of Communist propaganda posters. You half expect to find a portrait of Chairman Mao on the wall, looking sternly at everyone as they’re chowing down on rice.

Despite this, the atmosphere is welcoming, and the staff are friendly and helpful.

The Christmas menu was delicious, if not especially festive until the puddings came out. There’s a decent amount of choice: five options for starters and main courses, including a ‘seasonal option’, and two for pudding. I had ribs to begin with and then beef with rice: both dishes were strongly flavoured but not overpoweringly so, and the meat was really nicely cooked, not tough at all. The panna cotta was delicately flavoured, not too sweet; the sauce could’ve been warmer, but it was enjoyable nonetheless.

The Christmas menu is £23 for three courses or £20 for two; we had three, which worked out at about £7.70 per course – really reasonable for the quality and quantity. The starter and pudding weren’t perhaps the most generous portions, but they weren’t stingy either, and the huge main course more than made up for it.

Max Suvorov Dat Shit Cray #4

T

his week I learnt a very valuable lesson; there are no failures, there is only the now and the now is an endless stream of events.

No beginning. No end. Everything unified.

Enter the now and you are free. Okay this sounded like some form of Zen shit to me at first, but now I kind of get the meaning of it. Let’s face it in life, (except our close family and friends) no one wants us to succeed, jealousy is a basic human instinct when others are raised above us, we feel inadequate, and that’s a negative emotion, an emotion which must be disposed of ASAP. Thus we feel the need to project our inadequacies onto others. You are a white dove gently gliding in the sky, you think everyone likes that? No, somewhere in a field there’s always a group of bastards waiting to shoot you down with a barrel load of negativity, take heed my friends and dear readers, do not dwell on past mistakes, do not worry about the future, focus on the now and only then may you shape your own success. It’s not often I succeed in late nightly conquests, and it is much less often that I succeed in convincing my

“...Cock and balls crowing” late nightly conquests to return home with me, for a night of mystery and wonder. But sometimes it happens, sadly on this night I was (blaming it on the alcohol here) severely dysfunctional, so we had to put it off until the morning. Upon commencing our 10AM tumble, I heard a slight knock on the door; ‘house viewing’ Came the voice from the other side, I then idiotically thought it wise to jump out of bed and reach for the lock, unfortunately the hand on the other side proved much faster. There I was standing (balls out the cock crowing) in front of three females and a landlord, awkward. Two seconds of time (which felt like a century) elapsed before the door was shut and I was left, jaw droop-

“...Some where in a field there’s always a group of bastards waiting to shoot you down with a barrel of negativity’”

ing, my party balloon slowly deflating, in stunted silence, waiting for my bed partner to say something. Sadly the only words that were exchanged were ‘I should probably go home’, which I did, losing my friend for the night/morning. Sometimes life is shite. So I believe we, together, have learnt not one, but two valuable lessons, if you have someone in your room (or you are a guest in someone else’s room) and a stranger should knock with words ‘house viewing’ do not try and reach for the door knob, do not try and prevent what is coming, simply hide behind the bed sheets and cower, COWER, I tell thee! As for the second lesson, I feel it is more important than most of my other lessons, never fear your future, never dwell on your past, but focus on the here and now, it is only then can we shape and mould ourselves into what we wish to become, failures are only marking stones on the road to success.

Your confidante, Maxim Suvorov.

16.fashion

Monday 2 December 2013

The Courier

Fashion Editors: Frances Stephenson and Amy O’Rourke Deputy Fashion Editor: Bex Finney

Tis the season to be woolly

Rebecca Dooley has us feeling festive as she styles two looks around the infamous Christmas jumper, tis the season and all that LOOK ONE

LOOK TWO

T

here’s only one time of the year where it is acceptable to go over the top with your knitwear and don Christmas jumpers, and never has there ever been so many designs and choices, so here’s two ways to wear yours.

Living in Newcastle, a Christmas jumper is a winter warmer and an essential part of any students holiday wardrobe. You might be thinking your Christmas jumper is banished solely to Christmas day or parties where admittance is only granted by wearing said jumper but it’s on of the easiest ways to update your look ready for the festive season. If you get any judgemental looks, ignore them, it is the season to be jolly after all.

With snow just around the corner brace yourself for the cold by layering up with your Christmas jumper. Along with a shirt underneath your jumper for added warmth, put on your thickest and cosiest coat and bundle this with a thick woolly scarf and hat, ensuring the colours go with your choice of jumper. Keep it simple with jeans, or dress this with some suede black leggings for added texture.

Black ankle boots or wellies are both practical and stylish and for festive fun maybe add some fluffy socks to finish off the look. A Christmas jumper has not just become fashionable and a winter wardrobe tradition but it is also practical for those slogs to uni in the probable miserable weather.

All that glitters

If you feel like dressing up your Christmas jumper a little bit and getting very merry, then you can update this look to make it more dressy styling it with a flared skirt and tucking the excess jumper inside (hopefully this won’t hide your design too much), along with some black tights or if you are feeling particularly daring you can go bare legged. Add some accessories like a statement gold necklace or a chunky gold watch and slip on some brogues for a more stylish look. But don’t try to modify your Christmas jumper in order to make it more cheery for the holiday season by adding bobbles; it will just ruin the charm of your signature Christmas piece and the outfit as a whole.

Jumper: Missguided £16.99 Shirt: Marks & Spencer £35 Scarf: Pilot £5.99 Hat: Heatons £6 Skirt: Primark £8 Necklace: Primark £5 Brogues: Bonprix £44.99

Emily Marsh gives us four essential party accessories for the upcoming festive season

W

Dune £59 Clutch

here would a party girl be without her clutch? It securely holds all your handbag essentials (lippy, money, ID) and still remains super stylish and sleek. Being able to greet your guests and fellow party goers is an essential part of any Christmas party and with your clutch bag safely in tow you can tuck it under your arm whilst proudly holding your champagne in the other hand. Perfect. Not forgetting it should fit nicely in your hand whilst dancing the night away, swinging around knowing exactly where your phone is when you need to send that all important snap chat from under the mistletoe.

This genius bag will add a sense of glamour to any outfit; choose one with a bit of sparkle for added Christmas cheer - but be careful not to go too over the top, if your dress is covered in sequins you might want to keep it neutral with a classic style clutch.

H

Dune £89

igh heels are an essential in any girls wardrobe, so of course the Christmas party season is a brilliant excuse to bring them out for a touch of added glamour.

The sling back, the stiletto, the wedge and the court shoe all have a place this Christmas, perhaps try a glittered heel for some added glitz. Heels are a girls best friend and nightmare all mixed in to two fabulous shoes. They elongate your leg, give you a little height and make you feel truly fabulous. These little beauties can be nasty beasts too, be careful in your heel of choice, as much as we all love to be daring, we hate to cut the night short because our tootsies are in too much pain we can’t boogie on down. Warning aside, heels are the perfect addition to any Christmas party outfit. Choose a shoe which will compliment your outfit and make you stand out from the crowd (hopefully not by falling on your face).

L

Accessorize £15

et’s face it we’ve spent far more time than we would like to admit labouring over our special Christmas manicure and now we just want our work to be recognised.

Well, have no fear! The cocktail ring is a great way to show it off and it will look perfect whilst you’re holding onto your glass of bubbly. Like the Statement necklace this simple piece will give a bit of Christmas cheer to any outfit. Every shop from Primark to Zara has a great range of costume jewellery, leaving you spoilt for choice when it comes to picking a cocktail ring.

Be careful to only wear the cocktail ring, this is the statement piece of jewellery, if you start wearing rings on every finger this will over shadow your chosen piece and you also end up looking like some sort of diamond clad rapper. Although you don’t have to spend loads to get the look be careful not to end up with the infamous green finger.

A

Glitzysecrets.com £78

s seen on Taylor Swift and Cara Delvigne this trend seems to be sticking around this party season, especially with high street names such as Topshop and Primark investing in glitzy, over the top pieces. Think Tiaras and animal ears with a sophisticated edge; who doesn’t want to look like a fairy princess at Christmas? This essential is the perfect way to break the ice at any party. For the classier lady there are of course some simple sparkle alternatives, try an embellished headband or hairlside if you want to keep on trend.

Take inspiration from the Great Gatsby to get the look spot on, but just remember the head piece will be the focus of your outfit so keep other accessories to a minimum; you don’t want to look like an extra on Eastenders, not so chic.

This look will have you standing out from everyone else, so embrace the trend for winter.

The Courier

fashion.17

Monday 2 December 2013

thecourieronline.co.uk/fashion c2.fashion@ncl.ac.uk | @Courier_Fashion

Party perfect

Anna Goodman-Jones shows us how to sparkle and shimmer at any Christmas party. And sequins are definitely on the menu, sunglasses may apply.

FASHIO N GIFT GUIDE

RACHEL

F

Misguided £39.99

or those Misguided wishing to create a bit more of a stir with their Christmas dress this year, this dress from Missguided is a winner.

A nice change from the typical red or wine colours we tend to see a lot of at this time of year, the gold sequinned look is a unique choice whilst still being perfect for the occasion. The sweetheart neckline is super flattering, emphasising the collarbone and neck. With this in mind, the dress would look great with an up-do, whether it be a sleek ponytail or a loosely-curled bun. There’s no need to accessorise too much with this dress either, as the sequins are enough to create a showstopping look.

C

Topshop £60

learly designed with Christmas in mind, Topshop’s mink ruffled dress is a foolproof party choice for the season.

It’s more of a formal look, but can also be dressed down by opting for a cute pair of ballet pumps instead of heels. The floaty chiffon skirt is classy and understated, with the powdery skirt providing a glamorous contrast. Bustiere pieces are always great for occasion-wear as they add that little bit of extra elegance. Whether it be for a Christmas party, a fancy dinner or even to wear on the day itself, this dress is an ideal option and will no doubt get you a lot of compliments!

F

Topshop £50

luf is the new critic’s gimmick of choice for 2013, and it doesn’t end in cardigans. Try it in a dress for a new twist on the LBD. The flirty fit-and-flare shape is a great choice for a party, and the full skirt does the lovely job of making legs appear longer and leaner. The shape creates a flattering silhouette, emphasising the waistline and adding a bit more Christmas glamour. Wear it with heels, a thin gold necklace or earrings and a black clutch for a simple but striking look. The winey burgundy colour is the perfect compromise between red and black, adding some colour to your wardrobe.

C

Topshop £80

hristmas is the ultimate time for dressing up, so why not try something different this year and opt for Topshop’s textured dress?

A perfect party piece, the fit-and-flare structure that all girls know and love is enhanced with a double layered skirt and a low-cut back. Black may not be the colour you would think to go for on Christmas, but there are thin silver pieces embedded through the fabric giving it a seasonal sparkle, and the feathered texture makes the dress bolder than ever. Wear it with a bright clutch purse and some silver eyeshadow for a dramatic look.

Undressed to impress

K

eep it festive and say hello to a classier Mrs Claus with this sexy little red number!

What’s great about this set is that you can get the feeling of Christmas lingerie without straying onto the Ann Summers sexy Mrs Claus territory, which yes can be fun, but not necessarily a great Christmas gift! The colour is flattering for any skin tone and the plunge will enhance any bra size. The silk material gives a sexy edge as well as this, the lace and bow appliqué on both the bra and knickers give the set a feminine finish. The knickers come in two styles, thong and bikini, so there’s something for everyone. If you’re unsure what your girlfriend likes get both as they’re only £7 each!

B

uying lingerie for your girlfriend doesn’t just mean looking at bras and knickers. If you’re feeling brave explore the different types of lingerie available and get her something she wouldn’t necessarily buy for herself.

This chemise designed by Rosie HuntingtonWhiteley is 100% silk which means it will feel great on her as well as for your touch. Its rose print adds a vintage aspect, think Daisy Buchanan. Its adjustable straps mean a perfect fit, its empire line will also flatter any figure. The lace detailing round the bust adds emphasis to that area increasing its sexual edge. Think of the chemise as some luxurious wrapping paper concealing a little present just for you on the inside.

T

Fashion editors’ fave

his two piece set is perfect if you’re not sure what colour your girlfriend likes best!

However, don’t think that going for something black is playing it safe.

The scallop detailing on the bra and pants adds a luxury feel to this set. As well as this, the non-padded balcony bra combines deco style Swiss couture with silky fabrics to produce an even greater sense of opulence. It does however come with three different styles of knickers, high-leg, Brazilian, or thong, so you’re sure to find a pair that suits your girlfriends underwear likes. The colour and the detailing of this set give it a definite sexy feel, but if you don’t want to go for black, the set also comes in white which is equally as sensual.

Marks and Spen cers

Marks a nd Spen cers

Marks a nd Spen cers

Debenh ams

Kathryn Holland reveals what every girl wants to be unwrapping on Christmas day. Boys take note.

B

uying underwear for you girlfriend is always going to be a tricky job, do you play it safe and get her something that she always wears, or do you get the thing you want to see her in and risk offending her?

This bra from Rosie Huntington-Whiteley’s collection for Autograph at Marks and Spencers is, I believe, the best of both worlds. The colour is pretty and quite girly, yet the mixture of material, lace and silk, give it a sexy edge. It’s a plunge style which is excellent if you’re girlfriend likes to enhance her cleavage, also a bit of a bonus for you maybe. What’s more it’s good if you want to splash a bit more cash on your girlfriend’s Christmas present this year (always a good idea boys).

18.beauty

Monday 2 December 2013

The Courier

Beauty Editors: Amy Macauley and Safiya Ahmed

Five minute makeup

Kirat Sagoo gives a masterclass in how to look polished even if you’ve only got five minutes

Trade secrets

Our beauty writers and editors come together to let you in on the top beauty hacks you’ve probably never seen or heard of before 4. You are what you eat Eat your way to fabulous skin. The potent antioxidants found in pumpkin, blueberries and spinach are important for normal skin cell development and a healthy skin tone. So if you want to be glowing from within, eat spinach like Popeye, pumpkin like its Halloween and blueberries abundantly (but not in the muffin form).

1. Nail polish saver Before throwing away that gooey nail varnish, there are two quick and easy steps that can save it.

Add about two drops of nail polish remover to the bottle and shake. To thin the varnish further, place it in the fridge 10 minutes before using - as this is an alternative to shaking and doesn’t cause air bubbles to ruin your favourite polish.

Charlotte Dixon

Y

ou’ve done it. Overused the snooze…

Woken up, seen the sun shining through the window resulting in that feeling of impending doom. I’ll take the glass half full approach and assume you’re a dedicated student… pfft, no. You have a seminar presentation and have to drag your sleepy self out of bed and all the way across campus. The five minute make up challenge presents itself, but how do you tackle it?

If your answer is to rush outside sans make- up then I applaud you. Many of us are not so brave- I for one bear resemblance to the corpse bride and some SOS cover up essentials go a long way. I often start with a splash of cold water to wake my decaffeinated self, followed by BB cream. When comparing blemish balms I look for three things: good coverage, a high SPF to protect my skin and a moisturising base. I love ‘Camera Ready’ by Smashbox - the colour match is perfect! A small amount evens out my skin tone making this a quick fix for light-medium coverage. If this is a little too pricey, there are some excellent drug store alternatives - Garnier’s Miracle Skin Perfector gives great coverage for under a tenner and is available for different skin types.

Unfortunately the bags and major blemishes are still visible but don’t panic! Just add a little bit of Collection’s ‘Lasting Perfection Concealer’. Coming in at under a fiver, this really is your best friend in the morning. The wand like applicator makes it easy to target any small red/dark areas, after which it can be dabbed in using fingers (no time = no unnecessary professional brushes). I usually don’t cheer about Bobbi Brown’s colour matching but their ‘Correctors’ are fantastic for concealing more noticeable blemishes you wouldn’t want to be seen.

Now pause. No streaks? Ok next, to try and appear more awake I curl my eyelashes (this really makes a huge difference!) before applying Urban Decay’s ‘Big Fatty’ mascara. It’s a brilliant volumiser, I’m just glad I wasn’t the UD sales rep wearing the promotional t-shirt. Awkward.

“Apply Urban Decay’s ‘Big Fatty’ mascara.

I’m just glad I wasn’t the sales rep wearing the promotional t-shirt’’

Lastly I add a pop of colour to my lips and cheeks, opting for lighter, safer colours when rushed. Bobbi Brown’s Pot Rouge for lips and cheeks is great for ladies on the go and it lasts for ages. It’s just been re-vamped in a compact style with a mirror which I will be purchasing!

With this, 5 minutes are up. I think I may make it on time and rush towards the door… but where on earth did I put my keys?

2. Lipstick staying power A handy tip for lipstick longevity; ensuring that your festive deep berry and vampy hues stay put all night long. The first step is to apply one layer of your (preferably matte) lipstick of choice; a personal favourite this winter is Kate Moss for Rimmel in shade 107. Then, blot the lips with a tissue and apply a dusting of pressed powder with a small brush to completely mattify the first layer.

This process then needs to be repeated and finished with a final thin layer of lipstick using a lip brush for a perfect finish ready for any Christmas party.

Grace Beddow

3. Flawless complexion We all know that having uneven and patchy makeup is not something any girl wants. My advice? Exfoliate. Scrub away all the discrepancies in the shower and emerge a soft, even skinned beauty. I recommend Boots No. 7 Beautiful Skin Radiance Exfoliator. Use twice a week and you will never look back to your patchy past. With the £5 off vouchers that you get thrown at you every time you enter Boots, its also well within the ‘student loan’ budget.

Lauren Wallace

Illustrations by Charlie Dearnley

Androgynous angst Kaila Rooney and Bridget Bunton share their views on whether there is room for androgynous beauty on today’s catwalk

C

oming from America, it took me a little while to get used to seeing the different styles that are popular here. British students dress differently than Americans do, and they have different ways of doing their hair and makeup. One look that has really stood out to me has been how girls on campus shape their eyebrows.

In America, it feels like a competition to see who can have the thinnest eyebrows with the best arch.

However, that is not the case in England. Most girls I have come across draw on their natural eyebrows with makeup to make them darker, thicker, and manlier looking.

I don’t know if it’s the American in me but I don’t really see the point in this. I think that girls should work with what we were born with and leave looking manly to the guys. I think girls look prettier when they look more natural. Wearing so much dark makeup can make you look angry or mean and people tend to judge off of appearance rather than getting to know you.

When talking about androgyny, different topics come to mind; one of them is modelling and the transgender community. I think androgynous beauty is acceptable for transgender models. These models feel that they do not identify with the gender they were born with so they use makeup to make themselves feel more comfortable in their own skin.

While, I don’t agree with the androgynous look, I believe that everyone has equal rights and the transgender community should take the necessary steps to be comfortable in their own skin so they can be whatever they want to be.

Natural beauty is more important to me than loading on tons of makeup and looking like something you’re not. While I agree that there are certain circumstances where androgynous makeup is acceptable, I will always be firm in my belief that less is more.

T

he menswear trend in fashion is all the rage nowadays with blazers, button-ups and loafers. Furthermore, androgynous beauty – I’m talking thick eyebrows, sharp cheekbones, structured jawlines – has become increasingly popular in the fashion and even mainstream culture. Some people are completely against this growing trend but personally I’m all for it.

Look no further than the nearest magazine stand and fashion advert to see faces such as Lily Collins, Cara Delevigne, and Agyness Deyn for proof.

These notable ladies have certainly sparked the popularity of androgynous beauty. Certainly I’m not saying that you should change your entire face to make it appear more masculine but rather embrace your natural beauty, especially if it happens to include bold eyebrows and other more masculine-associated features. The days of overplucking and extensive eyebrow waxing are over.

Now I don’t recommend drawing cartoonishly large eyebrows onto your face (a la Bert from Sesame Street) nor dying your eyebrows dark brown or black when you have much lighter hair. Definite don’ts. Instead, emphasize your natural beauty.

Highlight those high cheekbones or make your eyebrows stand out like Delevigne’s famous pair.

This trend isn’t entirely new, either. In “Twelfth Night,” albeit Viola disguised herself to look like a man out of sheer necessity, her androgyny made it believable and, hey, she ended up with the Duke in the end. Even more recently, androgynous fashion and beauty were popular in the 1960s with Twiggy and even more so in the 80s with “Annie Hall” for example. Trends that come into popularity again and again do so for a reason. They work.

So embrace your androgynous features if you got ‘em and if you don’t but you’re still totally into this trend, try emphasizing your natural features as mentioned and love your face because it’s beautiful and you’re a total Betty.

The Courier

beauty.19

Monday 2 December

thecourieronline.co.uk/beauty courier.beauty@ncl.ac.uk | @Courier_Beauty

Blokey Beauty: guyliner?

Annah Baines and David Leighton discuss their views on whether they think a bit of ‘manscara’ and ‘guyliner’ is acceptable, or whether it’s a crime against hu-man-ity

Yes C

all me crazy (don’t really – I’ll hurt you), but I’m pretty certain in today’s society people are allowed to do what they want without overt judgement from everyone that passes by. This is why it perplexes me that people actually have an opinion on men who wear makeup – especially if they are not trying to be a drag queen.

Just a few points on this really; One, wearing makeup and being male isn’t necessarily a statement of sexuality – two, who cares? As I’m sure you have guessed by now I’m one of the “Guyliners”, although I don’t really wear it that often sometimes I do…because I like to. Just as I’m sure that some people like to wear “Uggs” and nobody comments on how nasty they are, or at least not to the person who is wearing them at the time.

I have answered the door to an ASDA delivery man who has promptly responded to the fact I have nail varnish on with “Hew, what ya deein wearing that on ya paws”? At the time I wished I had the ability to melt people’s faces with a look, because his would have been a judgemental little puddle by my feet. I own (to most of my friends dismay) a poncho, it’s huge and pretty ugly when it comes down to it but I love it, so I wear it, and honest to goodness I am stared at as if I have knifed somebody.

I’m getting a bit petty really but it pisses me off, you might even say it “grinds my gears” – I have nothing else to say on the subject really, other than if someone wants to wear makeup, or a leotard, the fact it displeases you is not their problem. It’s yours.

Don’t comment, don’t even ask because it doesn’t matter and nobody wants to hear your shitty bitchy little comments anyway. Peace out kitty-kats.

David Leighton

No A

ll makeup should look completely natural during the day and highlight your already existing beauty. A little bit of eyeliner is okay but once it’s too heavy it just looks completely overdone. What on earth gave guys the idea to wear eyeliner? Quite frankly, it just makes you look overly tired and like you haven’t washed properly since Halloween. What makes matters even worse is that boys have attempted to make male make-up more masculine by changing the names of products such as ‘guy liner’ and ‘manscara’.

Although I am partial to a well groomed man, and regardless of your sex there’s no excuse for a monobrow, there’s a point when male grooming just goes one step too far. Girls are always being moaned at by their boyfriends for taking to long to get ready. Imagine how annoying it’d be the other way around, telling your boyfriend his mascara looks fine and if he doesn’t put his makeup bag down and leave right now you’re going to be late?

No thank you.

I do understand the desire to cover up any blemishes or skin problems and I think this is completely acceptable as long as it isn’t taken overboard.

Men shouldn’t be denied the right to feel comfortable in their own skin and if a bit of concealer helps with confidence and self-esteem, it’s definitely not a bad thing.

However, most boys would lack the confidence to ask for a colour match on a beauty counter for fear of being judged. This can lead to them having products a different colour to their skin and if the products don’t look natural it’s going to attract the wrong sort of attention.

In addition to this, the way male stars are air-

brushed creates an unrealistic impression of what men should look like. In the same way women are partial to body hang ups because of the media’s version of female beauty, this is increasingly becoming the case for men too. If more men start wearing makeup and embracing the flawless look, men who don’t may start to feel a dip in their self-confidence. So boys, just embrace the way you look.

Girls make allowances for the fact you can’t have perfect skin, or hide those dark bags under your eyes and even that your eyelashes don’t look very long.

We like our men manly, not asking to borrow our foundation brush.

Annah Baines

As Movember comes to an end we get up close and personal with our three boys to see who is going be crowned the worthy winner

C

lean Shaven Ed’s apparent turnaround in form of last week has turned out to be a bit of a red herring. His mo-progress has stalled, that is if it can be said to have ever truly started. This is sometimes an emasculating problem for men, but the no-show of a mo’ for Ed is probably a more enviable position to be in than sport the balding mole-rat that his nearest rival Bog Standard Tom has managed to muster up.

Though Ed finished third, he can at least be happy in the knowing that he is free of any criminal convictions.

Bog Standard Tom Top Contender Tom

B

og Standard Tom’s beard shave has exposed his mo’ for the rank assortment of hair that it is. This is not the kinda mo’ you’d want to meet down a dark alley, or in fact anywhere at all.

Whilst Bog Standard Tom has just about clinched second place, this season does look to have taken its toll. Over the past month, Tom has shown very promising hair growth, but sadly he’s stumbled at the last hurdle and his hopes of winning have been unceremoniously shattered. Currently looking weary and diseased, let’s hope this competitor retires immediately.

Charlotte Davies shares her tips on performing the ultimate vanishing act in concealing those puffy under eye bags

A heavy night combined with an early start never fails to result in seriously tired looking eyes. No matter how much you try to conceal the evidence of your late night, those eyes just never fail to give it away. So, whether it’s heavy bags, dark circles or blood shot eyes, these quick and easy tips should help tackle the problem in no time.

1.

Using any kind of gel or roll on can really help to deflate bags and soothe tired eyes. Simple have recently released a ‘kind to eyes revitalizing roll on’ within their new Simple sense range. Its cooling formula promises to help soothe and refresh your eyes whilst giving them a brightening boost. For a further refreshing effect, try keeping the gel or roll on in the fridge.

2.

Movember Watch: Week 4 Clean-Shaven Ed

Perk up those peepers

T

op Contender Tom has certainly lived up to his billing, sporting the only reasonable mo’ of the bunch. Although he resembles Ned Flanders, Top Contender Tom’s silver lining comes in the knowing that he has secured the coveted ‘Most-Mo’ Title. Congratulations to Top Contender Tom, he faced mediocre opposition, beat them after week one, and yet still remained professional throughout, sporting his mo’ to the very end in a bid to not only to raise the trophy but more importantly, Movember awareness itself.

In terms of covering up those dark circles, using a concealer really is your secret weapon. Marie Claire recently voted Nars’ Immaculate Complexion Concealer as the most effective one in disguising dark circles. However, priced at the higher end of £18, this might be a bit of a stretch if your bank balance took a hit the night before. For a cheaper alternative try Rimmels Wake Me Up concealer. And remember to always opt for a shade lighter than your foundation in order to give a subtle brightening effect under the eyes. You could also enhance this by using a nude or white eyeliner in the corner of your eyes. This will work to widen as well as highlight them and so is great for distracting away from the bags.

3.

So, you’ve eliminated those puffy eyes and dark circles, now it’s time to deal with the redness of your eyes. If your blood shot eyes are enough to frighten small children away, try using eye drops to cover it up. There is a wide range out there, but for a cheaper option Boots offer their own priced at just £3.10. This product promises to refresh and revive those tired eyes, reducing the issue of redness. Or you can pop on a slice of cucumber onto your eyelids for a quick at home spa treatment.

Join SCAN, a lively student led charity which provides you with endless opportunities to share a little bit of your time and energy for the benefit of the local community.

With over 200 worthwhile volunteering opportunities to pick from, there is always something that will suit you.

www.nusu.co.uk/SCAN facebook.com/SCANncl instagram.com/SCANncl

Want to see an advert for your company or soceity here?

Email [editor.union@ncl.ac.uk] and [marketingadmin.union@ncl.ac.uk] for more details

The Courier

Monday 2 December 2013

2-8Decemberlistings.21 thecourieronline.co.uk courier.listings@ncl.ac.uk | @Courier_Listings

Listings Robot!

From 2nd December Palace Green Library, Durham

Our big metal friends have done a great deal for us in the past, from building a monopoly in the menial labour market to invading Mars on our behalf. Now, Durham Uni is hosting a retrospective looking at notable automatons of stage, screen and fiction, with full size robots and other mechanical paraphernalia on display. Should be cracking.

Entry £4.50

Dark Woods, Deep Snow: A Grimm Tale for Christmas 2nd December Northern Stage

It’s panto season! The most wonderful time of the year, and nobody does it better than Danny Adams and Clive Webb over at the Theatre Royal.

Also starring World class dame Chris Hayward co-stars in a show which promises to be as opulently spectacular as usual, this year thanks to a huge 3D giant.

Tickets from £12.50

Supernatural Stories for Christmas

4th December The Lit & Phil

Halloween might steal all the rhetoric about being scary, but any horror aficionado knows that yuletide is the real golden period of the year for ghost stories is Christmas. It’s cold, you’ve got a hot water bottle in and a hot toddy to hand, and you’re ruddy well prepped for a good scaring. Sadly the Lit & Phil can’t promise a hot water bottle or a hot toddy, but they can promise some suitably chilling tales from the likes of Robert Louis Stevenson and Bram Stoker told by North See Theatre. Not for the lily-livered or those prone to attacks of the collywobbles.

Tickets from £8

Electric Six 5th December O2 Academy

The Detroit-based new wave rockers are popping over for some shenanigans. Yes, we all laughed at ‘Gay Bar’ in school but ‘Danger! High Voltage’ is a solid-gold tune. Yes, it has a saxophone solo, but you just need to surrender yourself to it.

Tickets £13.50

Telescreen feat.

Frankie Cocozza Sleeping Beauty 6th December Mill Volvo Tyne Theatre

You know the story: there are some fairies giving gifts to a new-born princess, some go a little off-piste, hilarity/bare drama ensues. The Wikipedia page for Sleeping Beauty also includes this sentence: “The good fairy who altered the evil prophecy is summoned by a dwarf wearing seven-league boots and returns in a chariot of fire drawn by dragons”. That’s fairly amazing, really.

May well include some full-frontal snogging and some extremely aggressive moralising.

Tickets from £12

Jools Holland 6th December City Hall

Jools Holland and his Rhythm and Blues Orchestra “experience’” visits Newcaslte’s City Hall this Saturday. If you’re a fan of the boogie woogie, then this is not one to miss and, if that wasn’t enough to tempt you, ex-Spice Girl Mel C will also be there. She may or not be in sportswear.

Tickets from £35.50(!)

7th December Think Tank

Everyone’s favourite chemically adventurous young cock-of-the-walk, Frankie ‘Look At My Hair, It’s Massive’ Cocozza, has joined forces with everyone’s favourite anonymous indie scenesters Telescreen for a tour of unbelievably huge proportions. Like most people, we’ve been following Frankie’s career with great interest since he left X Factor in, er, murky circumstances and are big fans of his recent international smash ‘She’s Got a Motorcycle’. “She’s got a motorcycle”, Frankie sings, “but she won’t let me ride it”. Could there be subtext? The mind boggles. One hopes that Frankie didn’t get the entirety of his understanding of female biology from AutoTrader, but one can never tell. Support comes from the Adorable Seals and Frankie Cocozza’s Arse Tattoos.

Tickets £16.50

22.arts

Monday 2 December 2013 The Courier

Arts Editors: Millie Walton and Charlie Dearnley Deputy Arts Editor: Laura Wotton

THE

GALLERY

Short chat with a Longfella Aimee Vickers spoke to the acclaimed poet Longfella, as he strives to break down the boundaries between poetry and society, rendering poetry relevant to the communities that inspired it ‘

I stumbled across the threshold of the Star and Shadow, already just bit tipsy and ready to fully throw myself into the party orientated exhibition, Occasion 2.

The Event was filled with people I immediately recognised as being Art students. Fantastically however, amidst the rabble of alternative arty types, there were a fair few people from other walks of life. Most likely dragged along by exhibiting house mates, nonetheless it was great to see so many people wandering around the dimly lit structural work, exploring the art of a variety of students.

The artwork was exhibited in a professional and easily accessible way, with the sculptural exhibition flowing smoothly. Moving from piece to piece felt natural, and the thought that had gone into the selection of the work was obvious.

Adam Goodwin has to be praised for the thought out and considered nature of the exhibition. Many of the works played with form and structure, morphing the industrial with the biological. Whilst stood in the space and observing the surrounding architecture. the red gurders and bare brick of the industrial building played with mechanised forms within the site specific artwork.

As the night progressed and my hip flask emptied the vibe slyly shifted into that of a psychedelic rave. The main performance consisted of video DJ-ing, and huge projected images of the Durham Lumiere festival were kaleidoscopically transformed before the audience.

Playing jovially with the music, the images were entrancing and almost hypnotising, as colours dissolved and dissipated, before reforming into exciting new forms.

The night was a huge success, and I left inspired and ready to further my intoxication in the town centre. The event was particularly impressive as it largely managed to dissolve the aura that blocks exhibited artwork from the audience. By creating an environment whereby people were relaxed, and socializing loudly amidst the artwork, the expected silent appreciation of galleries was completely obliterated. The night was hugely enjoyable, and I can’t wait to stumble across the threshold of the next Occasion event.

Charlie Dearnley

QUOTES SO SIMPLE:

M

ost people ignore most poetry because most poetry ignores most people.’

Adrian Mitchell We are a generation of culture consumers who very rarely look towards poetry, as much as we do novels or films, to be engaged and entertained. Tony Walsh’s epigraph embodies this idea of a poetical tradition that ignores the people it is writing for. But when reading through Walsh’s extensive collection of poems in his new book, Sex&Love&Rock&Roll, I found that he had managed to move me in a way that no other contemporary poet has before. When he quit his job at the age of 39 he immediately received an invite to be Glastonbury’s poet in residence- from that point onwards he has performed on 6 Music and has a published collection of poems for us all to enjoy at our leisure. He spoke openly about his aim as a poet: ‘I have no interest in being wilfully obscure or baffling people’ reflecting back to a form of folk poetry which had musicality and language that was inclusive, but has since strayed from our culture. Although he shied away from my attempts to define him in terms of a genre or type of poet- it

became clear that Walsh’s work is about the community it is performed in and influenced by.

Also taking the second name Longfella, a pop pun on the classical poet Longfellow, Walsh has chipped away at his trade by watching and learning from others. He praises the generation of performance poets in Manchester who he learnt from.

But also most notably, Shane Koyczan, a Canadian poet, who he names as his all time favourite poet.

He goes on to explain the reason why he chose to be a spoken word poet: ‘It was much more of a naked experience for me to put my words on a page’. He spoke in depth about the fact that ‘Emotional impact is the sole preserver of performance poetry’- and I began to understand that Walsh’s work is full of subtleties and nuances that could be lost when reading his work on the page. An example of this would be in his poem, ‘A Girl, Like, Y’Know’- which when performed features stuttering moments and pauses that are inexpressible on

“I have no interest in being wilfully obscure” paper. He speaks through the voice of a pregnant teen who has had everything taken from her- a real life experience of his own when working as a councillor in housing regeneration. I was curious to hear more about his heavy inclusion of women as both narrators and protagonists in his work. He explained that he had ‘seen a lot of women take a lot of shit off a lot of men’ and went on to describe the remarkable women that he has encountered in his life. Part of what makes Walsh’s book so moving is that it is the mundane but also the sad or frightening realities of life that feature so prominently in his work. Whether it be a man caring for his partner through illness (‘Always there’) or the transformation of your local precinct (‘It’s all going posh down the precinct’) it speaks to a majority of people whose lives are not idyllic. As Walsh told me, ‘It is all about good poetry that connects with us’, and his work connects generations and classes because it is communal and real.

The essence of performance poetry for Walsh is the accessibility of being able to ‘stumble into a pub with your sheets of A4 and stand up and talk’. He doesn’t see an elitist world of poetry in the twenty first century; he sees a ‘Democratic people’s theatre’ that is just as much about community and support as it is the rhyme scheme and syllables of the poem. He explained the process of his writing; seeing what comes out onto the page and then working from there seemed to be his natural process but he also experimented with the Shakespearean Son-

net, ‘Sonnet Boom’, a satirical work about the need to prove oneself as a ‘master of my craft’. He is not restricted by form, or rhyme scheme, but rather he allows himself to take risks and reverse the stereotypical ideas of what we expect our literary world to look like.

It is interesting that Tony Walsh is regarded as a spoken word poet, or a performance poet, (he attaches no significance to the label) but has released a printed version of all of his poems. He insists that there is ‘no line between page and stage poetry; it is as simple as good poetry and bad poetry’ The poetry scene in, not only Manchester, but all over the country is a community that should not be ignored, for some of the greatest poets have stumbled into pubs or cafes and moved their audiences to laughter or tears, or both. As Walsh writes in his manifesto: ‘For me it’s about communication – between poets, between poetries, with other artists and with new and strengthened audiences.

It’s about passion. It’s about honesty. It’s about the pursuit of truth and beauty. It’s about poetry moving us to tears not boring us to tears. It’s about entertainment value being admired not sneered at.’ He does not see entertainment value as a bad sign of poetry, he believes that for anyone to listen, they have to be engaged. For me, when I first saw Tony perform his work almost a year ago, I was entertained, moved, excited, and made to reflect on things that I had never spared a thought for before now. He states in his manifesto that he hopes to change people’s minds when they expect poetry to be boring. For me, he certainly achieved that.

He represents people and moments that pass us by everyday and demands that we pay them some attention. After years of grafting to establish himself and his work- he has produced a book that is unpredictable, sincere and entertaining.

Dancing in the Toonlight: Durham vs NCL

NU Dance Society headed to Durham University last Saturday for their annual Inter-Uni dance competition.

Media and Publicity Officer, Alice Fuller reviews and photographs the show’s top moments...

I

’ve attended the University dance show since I started at Newcastle four years ago and yearby-year the standard of choreography, skill of the dancers and general creativity has improved and this year was no different.

In fact I would go as far to say that the unique creativity shown in this year’s dance show blew the previous shows out the water.

The variety of dances showcased different levels of experience, styles of dance but most of all highlighted the talent of the organisers of this year’s show. Humour and originality

was brought into areas of dance that can regularly remain un-inspirational; I found this particularly with the combination of beginners ballet and lyrical in a wonderful play on the story of Alice in Wonderland.

The unanimous favourite of the whole audience was the delightful duet between dance president Charlie Burt and Chris Envy, together they performed an enchanting wing dance that combined modern inspiration and perfectly executed swing moves.

Another highlight of the show was the street dancers, who successfully entertained the crowd with energy, humour and originality, demonstrating how street dance provides each dancer the chance to bring their personality to the routine.

Each individual shone as well as working perfectly as a team with spectacular timing and unison.

The dance society is special because it provides all levels of experience and skill with the chance to be part of something that so many people get to enjoy, the show demonstrated this inclusivity and gave each member the chance to show how much they enjoyed p er for ming and the hard work they have put in all year.

It truly was a credit to the University and thoroughly enjoyed by all.

Alice Fuller

“I’m the most terrific liar you ever saw in your life. It’s awful. If I’m on my way to the store to buy a magazine, even, and somebody asks me where I’m going, I’m liable to say I’m going to the opera. It’s terrible.” ‘The Catcher in the Rye’, J.D Salinger

The Courier

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Monday 2 December 2013

Pic of the Week

thecourieronline.co.uk/arts c2.arts@ncl.ac.uk | @courier_arts

previews

Must see!

#nclarts

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ach week we choose the best arty instagram pic to feature in the paper. Whether its taken on campus, on a night out or in your own house, we want your snaps!

Simply hashtag #nclarts and we’ll pick a weekly winner. Besides featuring in an award winning paper, the winning pic is worth a delicious bag of sweets too.

Get instagramming folks!

Ghost: The Musical

This week’s winning pic is ‘EatSleepCaveRepeat’ by...

...Cali Mackrill

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Creativity & Coffee This week Angela Stone tastes the hidden talents of The Laughing Cat Cafe Courier’s Top Rated!

Drinks Art Vibe

Kitsch and welcoming

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ocated in Upper Princess Square, this small and quirky café is hidden away but close enough to Northumberland Street to make it a convenient place to take a break from Christmas shopping.

I love the décor of the place with its cute kitsch teapots, vintage cake stands and vases decorating the shelves. The café displays the work of local artists, changing the art every six weeks. The owners welcome people of all backgrounds here, including LGBT and the disabled, and host book clubs and a new social event on Friday evenings- a party with tea instead of alcohol- where they expect their artist and drag queen friends. TLC is something a bit different and a place where you are sure to be welcomed! 10% student discount.

I give the café 5 stars for delicious homemade victoria sponge and pot of tea and for the art.

Sunderland Empire Theatre 26 November - 7 December

ollowing smash-hit success on Broadway and the West End, Ghost the Musical is coming to Sunderland Empire Theatre.

Based on the Oscar-winning film starring Patrick Swayze and Whoopi Goldberg, Ghost follows the story of New York banker Sam Wheat as he discovers exactly what happens when you don’t walk into the light.

Following his murder, Sam finds himself trapped in a ghostly form- invisible and unable to warn his girlfriend Molly of the danger she is in. With the help of a rather questionable psychic and his new ghostly powers, Sam strives to discover the real reason behind his murder and to save his girlfriend Molly from a similar fate.

With original music by Dave Stewart and Glenn Ballard and featuring Unchained Melody (of course!), fans of the film should not be disappointed as the emotional undertones of the story are amplified into heartfelt ballads on the stage.

State-of-the-art staging is cleverly used to bring ghostly stunts to life before an audience. To the delight of many, the show will feature the famous pottery scene from the film, as well as many laughout-loud moments from psychic, Oda-mae Brown.

If you’re after a show with drama, humour and tear-jerking tunes, Ghost the Musical is sure to leave you spellbound.

Emily Jeffrey

reviews

Punk Rock

Radikal Words

Guys and Dolls

UTS is continuing a recent tradition of Simon Stephens plays with his prepschool-set tale of teen angst, Punk Rock.

Originally performed at the Royal Exchange Theatre in Manchester, this play launched the professional stage careers of both Tom Sturridge and Jessica Rain.

Directed by second-year Joe Shaw, who featured in last semester’s Pornography (also by Simon Stephens), this student production features both old hands and fresh faces, bringing to life the inner struggles of outwardly privileged pupils at a Stockport private school. Punk Rock follows six students, including bully Bennett, his neurotic girlfriend Cissy, well-meaning William and new girl Lily, as they prepare for their mock exams. With their A-levels and University choices staring them in the face, the cracks in the group’s relationships begin to show. Sexual tensions and power struggles create memorable scenes including a confrontation in which a quiet character stands up to the bully Bennett. Full of believable characters and at turns both funny and achingly poignant, Punk Rock will catapult you back into the emotional roller-coaster of being a teenager.

Lauren Hickin

adikal Words was certainly a popular return to Northern Stage and was entirely sold out, despite the Biblical flood taking place outside the theatre.

The audience were sat at small tables nestled together and seemed to be buzzing in anticipation. I have to admit I was quite dubious as to whether or not I would enjoy the night. The thought of a glorified poetry reading was not something I was particularly looking forward to. However, the evening was spectacular and from the moment Ann Porro said “Don’t die pretty. Die old and ugly and radical and useful”.

Hilariously entertaining, Kate Fox provided much humour to the evening with her musings on childhood, selfhood and motherhood. A common theme for the evening, many of the poets spoke about family and growing old.

The highlight of the night was Maxwell Golden’s hip hop poetry. In particular, I loved his attempt to perform a freestyle poem using items from the audience’s handbags and pockets for inspiration.

An evening I shall not forget in a hurry, Radikal Words proved to be thought-provoking, inspiring and greatly moving.

Maria Case

UTS’ performance of Frank Loesser’s ‘Guys and Dolls’ was a fantastic representation of the meticulous care Newcastle’s theatre team put into every production.

The show’s charismatic opening, with its engaging pantomime of suits, skirts and songs, set the precedent for the entire performance. Each actor succeeded to generate an overwhelming impression of the New York underworld, complete with the unique dialect that characterized the time.

Ruiardhri Johnston deserves a special mention for his flawless, and quite simply hilarious, interpretation of one of the Mission Band characters.

The love-match between Nathan Detroit and Miss Adelaide was entirely convincing, their extended engagement so overdue that a palpable sigh of relief could be heard from the stands at the conclusive wedding.

The dancing throughout was choreographed, and indeed executed, to perfection, a feature I feel enhanced the songs themselves- I haven’t stopped humming them since!

An exciting, very visual production, ‘Guys and Dolls’ provided a hilarious and very impressive evening’s entertainment enjoyed by Laura Wotton a deservedly large audience.

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Culture Lab 5-8 December

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Northern Stage 20 November

Newcastle College 21-23 November

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Dark Woods, Deep Snow Northern Stage 2-28 December

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ust in time for the Christmas season Northern Stage will debut “Dark Woods, Deep Snow: A Grimm Tale for Christmas” on December 2.

The play, a tale of how a team of misfit outcasts seek to save the stories we’ve come to know and love, will feature music, friendship, dancing, and betrayal.

The play will feature actors Paul Charlton and Gary Kitching and is under the direction of the award-winning Lorne Campbell. Charlton is known for his work as part of the comedy group, The Ginge, the Geordie and the Geek while Kitching starred in Northern Stage’s production of “The Borrowers” last year and is part of the popular comedy group, The Suggestibles.

“This year I want Christmas at Northern Stage to feel like a mighty adventure that we all go on together - exciting, a bit scary, important and unpredictable,” said Campbell.

“With music, danger, a lot of fun and a bit of magic we hope audiences will come and join us for a Christmas of joyful mayhem.”

“Dark Woods, Deep Snow” will also feature choreography from Abbi Green and Helen Goalen and live music performed by Annie Grace. Grace will lend her vocal and instrumental talents to the production under the guidance of Rebecca Wilkie, the show’s musical director.

Akeem Favor

Landscape with Weapon

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Northern Stage 19 November

ot being the usual theme of theatre I’d choose, I was interested to see what Landscape With Weapon had to offer. Written

by Joe Penhall, it is a truly thought provoking play.

It challenges the morality surrounding the invention of weaponry and its use in warfare; a familiar subject which will always be topical. It is energetically performed by only four actors, led by Ian Willis as the charming albeit initially naïve Ned, the weapon inventor.

We see the downward spiral of paranoia he succumbs to, provoked by state surveillance imposed on him when he refuses to hand over property rights to the government. It is an intense play, but it is not a light topic. There were, thankfully, some comical moments, one of which included an onion bhaji being thrown (I’m easily entertained).

Performed in The People’s Theatre, with a small audience and simple set, this made for an intimate atmosphere. Although the message of the play is clear, it does succeed in addressing both sides of the debate, and it left me wondering what will be on the landscape in the future of warfare. I would recommend it to those politically involved or otherwise!

Katie Silver

24.filmfeatures

Monday 2 December 2013

The Courier

Film Editors: Muneeb Hafiz and Jacob Crompton-Schreiber

Live and let franchise

Editor’s Rosanna Bellini looks at the film franchise and its infinite stamina Word ilm franchises. I didn’t know a single per- all rather forget The Golden Compass (2007) from

H

Franchised fun

arry Potter. The Lord of the Rings. These two film franchises certainly helped shape my childhood and many other students currently working hard (ahem) at university, not just in the UK but also all over the world.

Students born in the golden decade that was the 1990s will remember growing up with Harry Potter; first the brilliant books and then the magical films. Famous franchises become part of probably the most important part of your life. The brain is at its most absorbent and malleable during the childhood and teen years so no wonder that Harry Potter and The Lord of the Rings became some of the most beloved for the 90s kids. I think everyone remembers at least one spell that Harry, Ron, Hermione and co. learnt in the classrooms of Hogwarts, right?

The 90s kids aren’t alone in the franchised childhoods though, kids from the 1960s onwards will all remember the multitude of James Bond films released every decade since; 70s kids had Star Wars, 80s kids Indiana Jones and so on. Every generation has at least one, or more, franchises that they can relate to, as well as endlessly re-watch and quote – “Wingardium Leviosa”.

What is it about franchises that we love so much?

There is no definite way of truly knowing; but a combination of likable characters locked in a battle of good versus evil, along with a great story and some memorable music and actors thrown into the mix tends to create an enchanting and well-loved franchise. “Expecto Patronum”… sorry, I digress; I’ll just stop now.

Unfortunately for every brilliant franchise, there has to be one that flops at the first hurdle, where the first film is also the last one. Since the beginning of this century alone, there have been numerous failed franchises, particularly book to film adaptions, which are all desperate to replace the gaping hole left when the Harry Potter films came to an end. The Golden Compass – based on the first book in the popular Phillip Pullman trilogy – stopped before it even really started, as did Eragon, also based on the first book in a popular series.

The Twilight Saga and more recently The Hunger Games managed to take-off with great success, but franchises are not immune to failure purely because they are based on popular books; it is a fine line between sink and swim.

When they do well, however, they really are milestones of cinema and life, measurable in equal doses of familiarity and childhood memories.

Jacob Crompton-Schreiber

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son who couldn’t name at least three in order to win the last round at the pub quiz; Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, The Hunger Games - just a few that spring to mind of record breaking film series in the last decade.

With new franchises popping up once or even twice every year, their popularity seems hardly surprising. Nevertheless with the steadily increasing numbers of film franchises now on at the cinema some still beg to ask the questions as to why we are attracted to them and why film companies opt to back them time and time again. These questions of our loveable, recurring film franchise phenomena sadly aren’t down to an exciting, newly discovered law of nature but instead down to careful, meticulous planning by film studios, constantly salivating for the next best idea that will make them millions. As an audience we have proven time and time again that we love their simplistic storylines, likable main characters and just the right amount of tension that leaves us going back to see the next instalment. From these basic observations it seems we’ve arrived at an answer to our first question so it makes perfect sense why production companies should back every new franchise that comes their way, right?

Believe it or not, it’s a very ballsy move for film studios to invest in a film franchise, dedicating eight (or even nine) figure numbers to production costs and advertising when there is no clear-cut guarantee the franchise will succeed.

I’m sure we would

Philip Pullman’s Dark Materials trilogy, said to be the next big fantasy franchise that just ended up being a “terrible experience” from the director Chris Weisz’ own mouth, a flop at the box office and caused bankruptcy for New Line Cinema; the production company that had backed the successful Lord of the Rings trilogy three years before. It’s a tough sell but when the right bets pay off, it’s paid back in spades.

Getting down to number crunching, Harry Potter brought in a total of 7.7 billion dollars (yes, that’s with a b) followed by franchises such as James Bond and Star Wars scoring 6.1 billion and 4.5 billion in worldwide box office alone. Hardly numbers film companies can turn their nose up to.

However, some film franchises just don’t know when to call it quits, generating sequel after horrible sequel until every last drop of blood has been squeezed from both the franchise and the audience.

Having to sit through Pirates of the Caribbean; On Stranger Tides (2011)

“Believe it or not, it’s a very ballsy move for film studios to invest in a film franchise”

was a far cry from a pleasant experience - not only due to the flat characters and a lifeless plot - but knowing that this title was under the same franchise that produced The Curse of the Black Pearl (2003) that received a multitude of praise from audiences everywhere. With four more films signed up to the already worn out franchise I can’t help but sense this feeling of being cheated and annoyed by companies jumping on the bandwagon to Sequel Central will only get worse (Ice Age 4, Transformers 3, Paranormal Activity 4 etc.) Despite the bad wrap sequels have been receiving in the last five years it’s important to keep in mind that no director sets out to make a bad film and whether a franchise succeeds or not is down to maintaining a careful balance between substance and budget; if played right it can pay off for audiences and producers alike for decades to come hence why film companies nearly always take the risk year after year to bring something exciting and original to cinema.

Is typecasting robbing De Niro?

Teddy McDonald discusses the validity of boxing in a movie legend

T

o many, Robert De Niro is the face of gangster-cinema. That many of the gangster films he has starred in have gone down in history as definitive of the “gangster genre” doesn’t exactly help existing preconceptions about his lack of versatility as an actor.

Admittedly, these day’s he’s much more likely to be found antagonising his son in law Ben Stiller, troubling over a ghostbefriending daughter, or acting both the father and the gangster in The Family: a new film produced by Martin Scorsese in which De Niro and co. are in witness protection due to his former years as a gangster. So essentially, a spin on his usual gangster and father images, as a combination of the two.

But there is much more to De Niro than this contemporary idea of an old, paternal gangster Time has shown us as much. Robert De Niro defined our idea of a 1940’s mafia figure as Vito Corleone in The Godfather Part II (1972), and was electrifying as Jimmy Conway in Scorsese’s Goodfellas (1990). However, we needn’t look further than his partnership with Martin Scorsese for evidence of his versatility. In 1972 De Niro starred as Travis Bickle in Scorsese’s Taxi Driver, giving a chilling performance as the lonely and pathological taxi driver whose character has now become iconic.

Scorsese went on to direct The King of Comedy (1983), with De Niro giving a devastating perfor-

mance as the delusional Rupert Pupkin, whose aspiration to “make it” as a stand-up comedian renders him farcical. But ultimately, it is De Niro’s phenomenal performance as boxer Jake La Motta in Raging Bull (1980) that proves his worth. His depiction of unrestrainable aggression and virility, both in the ring and in domestic life, is devastatingly real and very far removed from the glamor-

ised violence that we’ve come to associate with his “wise guy” characters. Violence oozes out of him in every frame, whilst his character remains sensitive to his own weaknesses, giving an emotionally laden performance.

Terry Gilliam’s Brazil (1985) is a delirious dramatic satire about a dystopian future society, in which De Niro acts the enemy of the state plumber

bent on fighting against the system (it sounds odd, but it’s amazing). In 1987 he played the terrifying Louis Cyphre in Angel Heart (1987), a modern film noir revolving around an underworld of black magic: needless to say he was amazing, and that the film is a much forgotten gem. Bernardo Bertolucci’s 1900 (1976) is also definitely worth a watch, and sees De Niro in the midst of an Italian epic spanning fifty years, beginning with him as a young Italian aristocrat.

The examples are almost too abundant. It’s also true that, more often than not, De Niro gives a sterling performance.

He’s one of the most versatile and capable actors in Cinema history.

The idea of a typecast-able Robert De Niro would have seemed absurd to the cinema goers of the 70’s and 80’s.

It therefore seems a great shame that today people should have an idea of De Niro as a one trick pony (or two trick, if you’re feeling generous).

It’s simply not true, and as names like Meet The Fockers and Hide and Seek resound pitifully in contrast to the brilliant associations brought to mind when we think back on his career, I would encourage anyone to attribute his merit as an actor to his incredible filmography rather than look to new releases. Satisfaction is to be found everywhere in the many gems of his past.

The Courier

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Monday 2 December 2013

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“You talkin’ to me?” Taxi Driver (1976)

Catching Fire (12A)

LOVE

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s a Literature student I don’t usually read stuff that isn’t intellectual anymore because I just don’t have time to have fun, as a result I have missed out on reading this little trilogy. I’m not even mad though, because the film adaptations are amazing.

The Hunger Games: Catching Fire is every bit as brilliant as the trailer makes it seem, it’s a cross between Game of Thrones and Lord of the Rings- what a perfect mixture. You also have to consider the absolutely top notch acting talent that the franchise has taken advantage of, not least of all Jennifer Lawrence who was both stunning and fabulous. A lot of other characters get some real fleshing out in this instalment too, Haymitch and Peeta in particular I think. For a “2nd” instalment film it paces extremely well, neither ignoring the fact there will be a third film or forgetting the fact there was a first – but still a film all in its own right (which is something you don’t always see with middle movies), which is impressive. From what I’ve heard Peeta gets a lot of stick for being a bit of a stick in the mud but I think his character is very understandably moody, plus in the film it didn’t seem to come across that way at all, he seems like a really nice guy.

The film seems to have taken an even darker turn, if that were possible, which actually has me curious as to how it received a 12A rating. There’s so many harrowing scenes that I wouldn’t be surprised if

Mafia Movies

Moffat had something to do with directing it, because even though I’m not completely as invested in The Hunger Games as I would be in, say, Harry Potter I was still gripping the edge of my seat with so much force I thought my fingers might splinter.

The film was well shot with some excellent visual, the occasional cheeky plot twists were surprising and the speeches were inspirational, I mean really, really inspirational. I could actually write an entire newspaper on the inspiration speeches in The Hunger Games, there’s actually one in the film that is easily on a par with Lord of the Rings inspirational speeches.

What impresses me most about The Hunger

Games (Both this film, and the entire trilogy as a whole) is how it engenders pontification concerning politics within younger minds. Doesn’t anybody else just think that is fantastic? It’s certainly better than getting married and having vampire wretch spawns with creepy CGI faces.

So it’s a definite yes from me and I wasn’t even 100% sold on the franchise, however after watching Catching Fire I’m really impressed and can’t wait for more.

The Family (15)

Parkland (15)

he Family, to no-one’s surprise, is a turd.

The film attempts to work as an action/ crime/comedy and fails on all accounts.

The humour falls flat from the get go; the recurring gags are lazy and uninspired, which can be said for most other aspects of the film. The plot is worthless, contrived poop-ee-doo with paper thin character arcs and development leaving you with nothing to emotionally invest in. That would be fine, but with the rest of the film being as poor as it is, it does become a serious issue.

The tonal shifts between comedy and action thriller are jarring and disjointed, leaving you with a feeling of passiveness. It’s a film that appears to have struck the interest of no-one involved and was produced purely for the spondulix that can be had in casting the film’s headliners. On the bright side of things, Michelle Pfeiffer is about as sexy as any fifty five year old can be, and Diana Agron’s sex scene was a welcome addition to the narrative.

That’s about it.

The real failings are in the making of the film, and for that, blame Luc Besson. The man has made some doozies in his thirty year career (Leon, The Fifth Element), but he seems to have abandoned what made him special in the first place, namely his depth of characters, stylised visuals and, most importantly, a bit of heart. Like De Niro, the man seems to have lost his passion for quality, and it makes you wonder why they even bothered with this tiresome, instantly forgettable and down-right lazy flick.

The Family is quite frankly shit. I believe all involved know this. It’s a cynical production that doesn’t deserve your time let alone your money, and that’s the bottom line.

ather than rehashing the many conspiracy theories which have been jostled about previously, Parkland takes on a new approach and presents the aftermath of Kennedy’s death.

It begins with Abraham Zapruder (Giamatti), an ordinary man who captures the infamous event on film before swiftly shifting to the film’s namesake, Parkland Hospital, wherein Dr. Charles Jim Carrico (Efron) desperately tries and fails to save Kennedy’s life and later Oswald’s. First time director Peter Landesman suitably reflects the extreme pressure and tension within the ER but Carrico’s character lacks emotional conviction. Interest piques with the inclusion of Robert Oswald (Dale), the brother of Lee Oswald and how in the course of one day his life is irrevocably changed, but this development is undercut by the many other character’s perspectives hastily packed into the running time.

There is some evoking imagery of the reactions to Kennedy’s death among the public and those more involved in the events of that day. The film reflects the heavy impact of Kennedy’s death and the guilt at those who felt they could have prevented it, particularly in the staff at Parkland and FBI agent James Hosty (Livington), who was investigating Lee Oswald. But the storyline mirrors the people’s chaos too much and proves distracting when flicking between numerous events, leaving you unable to truly establish an emotional response.

Landesman offers the essence of a gripping reenactment of the day, but only scratches the surface of their interest and potential. The approach is refreshing but by playing too safe he fails to grip audiences.

More like this: Sexy Beast (2000)

More like this: JFK (1991)

Blue is the Warmest Colour (18)

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lue is the Warmest Colour, starring Léa Seydoux and Adèle Exarchopoulos, has received nearly universal 5-star reviews.

BITWC deserves its accolades, for it is a true rarity; A genuinely engaging love film.

Adele (Exarchopoulos) is a young girl coming to terms with her sexuality when she meets Emma (Seydoux), a confident arts student who whisks her into sexual and emotional maturity. The tenderness of their unfolding relationship is deeply touching. From the muted tragedy of the ending to the languorous close up shots and natural dialogue, this is a film entirely committed to realism.

Exarchopoulos’s performance, from timid teen to broken adult, is never less than totally believable and searingly honest.

The unnervingly frank sex scenes serve to make a distinction between erotic and sexy. These scenes aren’t sexy – No feminine mystique here, just writhing bodies – but are deeply erotic, in that they place sex in the context of emotion. The detached camera-work accentuates the feeling that viewing sex from outside is redundant; objectively, from our cold lens, it is purely animal, but to these passionate lovers it is an all-consuming experience.

Perhaps the reason my generation is one of porn addicts and misogynists is that, when we were 13 and still ingénues needing teaching in matters sexual, it was a rather different lesbian sex that taught us.

Many love films hide behind something else – Annie Hall behind comedy, 500 Days Of Summer behind twee hipsterdom - sensing that love alone won’t satiate an audience. BITWC proves that, with deft direction and astoundingly deep performances, that need not be true.

More like this: Fish Tank (2009) George Severs

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Will Druck

More like this: Battle Royale (2000) David Leighton

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afia movies usually represent the grand soap operas of the cinematic screen, a viewer only need to think of The Godfather trilogy of movies for a tale that sprawls nearly all emotions throughout, and engages an audience on so many levels. It is through this grand scale that I find mafia movies so great, as it spins an epic tale from a narrative that can deal with so many realistic elements.

The mafia genre nearly always deals with the idea of a morality tale, a fable like story where power ultimately corrupts and what was once an innocent protagonist slowly transforms into the antagonist of the movie through the system that the underworld of drugs and crime places upon him. By now it is a well-worn trope of cinema yet it is one that is always entertaining. With films such as Martin Scorsese’s Goodfellas there is such a strong narrative throughout, that the fairly predictable ending is nullified through the pure power it possesses.

With a character that at the beginning of the movie seems so relatable it’s hard not to get lost within the struggles that he faces.

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Rebecca Dooley

It helps the genre even more that this underworld is filled with such great characters, for example Al Pacino in Scarface, which keeps the films so inherently interesting. With a world that appears as though almost a fairytale it is easy to implant these incredibly charismatic characters within the narrative. This helps to make the films a vivid and excitable portrait of the life these criminals lead and allows for its audience to be drawn into its world.

Ultimately the mafia movie is just such an easy genre to make interesting, it is a world that nearly everyone knows exists, yet hardly anybody has actually experienced first-hand. Due to this it allows for an easy form of escapism, and for a movie to be both realistic and magical in its appearance, creating a duality that allows for movies to relate to a multitude of audiences and entertain nearly all who go and view them.

Aidan Knowlson

26.tvhighlights

Monday 2 December 2013

The Courier

TV Editor: Beth Durant Deputy TV Editor: Helen Daly

Borgen

BBC Four, Saturday 9pm

TVintage

90’s gameshows were the highlight of every kids childhood. Ian Mason takes a look at his favourite

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t was fun, it was crazy and it was definitely outrageous. Where would nineties children’s television have been without Fun House? I mean, there was gunge, go karts racing, ball pits and the legendary Pat Sharp. Add to this Melanie and Martina, better known as ‘the twins’, and CITV really hit the jackpot with twenty-five minutes of childish joy.

It had a ten-year run, and when you consider that it’s a children’s game show this must surely cement its brilliance, given that so many come and go so rapidly. But what was it about Fun House that really made it so engrossing? Gunge was a staple part of nineties children’s television, as were obstacle courses, beautiful assistants and of course over the top and desperately camp presenters, but just how many had all of the above and more?

Within reason, you could probably do the entire show yourself. If anyone really had the desire to, then a Fun House birthday party could probably have been arranged, and this was surely its appeal.

Unlike a lot of other shows where, whilst entertaining, you couldn’t really get involved, a true DIY Dad could undoubtedly put together a Fun House in your garden!

Lets be fair though and take nothing away from Pat Sharp; he was an absolute lynchpin. He had one of those larger than life personalities that hooked you in, similar to Dave Benson-Phillips or Neil Buchanan. You truly believed he was as excited as the contestants and really wanted them to win. It’s that level of believability that children really associate with, well that and the fact that pretty much every pre-teen’s first crush was one of the twins.

Battling through three rounds every episode, firstly in the gunge, second in the red or yellow gokarts, and finally battling through the giant softplay area ( the Fun House itself), cheered on by the live studio audience. As two teams competed every week, you always had a favourite, probably tending to side more with whichever team was paired with your favourite twin, albeit that’s somewhat irrelevant. The prizes weren’t even that exciting, but to a ten year old a Nintendo Game Boy is probably a lot more exciting than a holiday for two!

Clearly though, one of Fun House’s biggest advantages was it’s incredibly catchy theme tune. The lyrics speling out the theme of the show and drilled into your brain, meaning that even now twenty years later I can still regale them without problem; ‘Fun House! It’s a quiz, it’s a race, a real wacky place. Use your body and your brain if you wanna play the game!’

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nternationally acclaimed political drama Borgen returned to British TV screens on the 16th November and has returned stronger than ever, with the Telegraph labelling the show awe inspiring upon its return.

Now moving in to its third and final season, this award winning show has tracked the surprising career of Denmark’s first female Prime Minister Birgitte Nyborg. We last saw Birgitte on the eve of a very dramatic election and season three begins with the ever so important result. Borgen was originally broadcast on Danish TV in 2010, but it made its first appearance on British TV in January 2012 and has gone from strength to strength.

“There have been some fantastic episodes but the quality has often been varied and at times a little laboured especially as we are treated to an hour of Danish Pig farming, but then again who doesn’t love bacon.”

Although not as popular with critics as the two previous seasons, this fictional political epic has gathered many fans across the continent gaining international acclaim along with a host of awards across Europe. Danish critics have claimed that the third season failed to break free from predictability also stating the season was insidiously dull.

The verdict however is far from unanimous and the third season has gained plaudits, with many believing the show is just reaching its peak.

We are now four episodes through season three on BBC 4 and the season has understandably had

a mixed reception. There have been some fantastic episodes but the quality has often been varied and at times a little laboured especially as we are treated to an hour of Danish Pig farming, but then again who doesn’t love bacon.

The name derives from the nickname “Castle” of the Danish Political building, which is actually named Christiansborg Palace if you were interested. The show has been praised for its use of strong female characters and artfully written story of drama and suspense within Danish political life. Fortunately that may come as a surprise to those that can’t fathom how the danger and thrill of centre-left alliances, and the thrilling suspense of TV debates can translate into fantastic television but that is exactly what writer Adam Price has achieved. Very clear similarities can be drawn from the fictional party included in Birgitte’s story, to that of real life political entities in Danish Politics and Borgen has been praised for its realistic gritty portrayal o f politics.

Season 3 has seen Birgitte’s political company expand even further to include eye catching TV journalist Katrine Fonsmark, played by Birgitte Hjort Sørensen who, in the first two seasons only played a minor role. This builds on Borgen’s already impressive female dominated story as yet another strong independent female toils at the centre of the shows plot. The show has recently created controversy over a recent Danish political scandal over MP Mai Henriksen’s policy of a Bill or Rights for prostitution which it was claimed by her peers was inspired by the show. Not even the fourth wall can apparently contain what has been claimed to be the best Danish series in years and Denmark’s answer to The West Wing. Recipient of best international drama in the 2012 BAFTAs, Borgen is a thoroughly enjoyable drama not at all slowed by the perceived gritty and dull content associated with politics.

Lewis Ancrum

Last Tango in Halifax

Castle

The Mentalist

BBC One, Tuesday 9pm

Channel 5, Tuesday 9pm

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ur beloved Channel 5 have recently been airing the long awaited, mind-manipulating, stomach-clenching and toecrunching sixth series of ‘The Mentalist’. Admit it; you’ve missed the glorious angelic face of Simon Baker. I know I have!

Take a witty, suave ex-con who sponged off celebrities and wholesome individuals with his skilful “psychic” charm and throw him into the role of independent consultant at the California Bureau of Investigation (CBI), and you’ve got a successful plotline for a US smash hit.

The Mentalist pivots around the expertise of CBI consultant Patrick Jane (Simon Baker) and his unsettling desire to avenge the murder of his wife and daughter, all executed by the infamous serial killer ‘Red John’.

Every episode features a splatter of freshly spilled blood, whereby Jane and his trusty, razor-sharp team of investigators find themselves analysing and tracking down the killers of intricate murder cases in the Sacramento area. Whilst Jane claims to have no psychic skills, he exhibits numerous clever observational skills to detect clues in each case, including behavioural signals, mind control and hypnosis.

Having been thrown back and forth as to who ‘Red John’ really is, spoilers have claimed that this year will not only unveil Red John but even jump two years to see how our mentalist is coping after the arrest. Question is, does this mean Number 6 is the final concluding season? We hope not, we like Patrick Jane messing with our minds a bit too much.

Alex Gibbs

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he course of true love never did run smooth. Or rather, you can love each other as much as you want, but your pesky families will disrupt your newfound bliss with their own self-absorbed actions.

This is the core component of the BAFTA winning Last Tango in Halifax as Derek Jacobi and Anne Reid, sure of each other’s love, are helpless as their children and extended family experience mid-life realisations/ crises, with the series already covering conspiracies, adultery, alcoholism, teen pregnancy, financial struggles and a lesbian relationship. Really, I had no idea that there was such potential for scandal in the sleepy Yorkshire hills, Despite this, the drama is gentle and doesn’t feel too overblown, equally thanks to the excellent dialogue and the fantastic performances by the cast: you get the sense that they know their own ridiculousness, and yet cannot stop their hapless antics. My problem is the sustainability of this style of plotting: once these juicy storylines are used up, will they have the sense to stop the show, or bow to the inevitable public desire to continue the programme forever. Eventually resorting to making episodes devoted to the fallout from a haircut, or inconvenience of having the bathroom renovatedfar more like the dramas of lives not penned to fill a gap in the television market.

I suppose my feeling overall is that yes, I am grateful for the representation of a love not involving the 16-30 age group, and so far Last Tango in Halifax has been a delight, but to keep it that way, I actually hope that the second series is the last.

Jonny Lusha

Channel 5, Tuesday 10pm

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astle tells the story of one Richard Castle (Nathan Fillion). He’s a writer, looking for a thrilling inspiration to his new novel. He happens to stumble upon it when a serial killer decides to re-enact the murders, described in Castle’s bestselling novels.

That’s where the awesome, I-take-no-nonsense detective Kate Beckett (Stana Katic) comes in. As our favourite crime series have taught us, solving crime is no fun when you’re all on your own. And while Beckett may be a closet fan of Rick Castle’s books, she’s certainly not too partial to the smartalecky person that he is. And so the outwitting begins.

At first glance, one might accuse Castle of trying too hard. The murder cases are attempting at their very best to be original and never-seen-before, but in reality, we have seen something similar in everything CSI-alike. Yet there is undeniable chemistry between Castle and Beckett, there is tension, and the constantly changing dynamics of their relationship are what builds an entirely separate storyline for the show, apart from its crime-and-detective aspect. The supporting characters flesh out and complement the main characters perfectly.

One wonderful example is Castle’s daughter Alexis, the first truly believable and not overused representation of a teenage girl I’ve seen anywhere.

Castle is a must if you’re a Firefly fan and want to bask in Nathan Fillion’s exquisite comedy genius.

Even if it might not catch your eye at a first glance, give it a chance and I guarantee you’ll find yourself hooked soon enough.

Antonia Velikova

The Courier

featurestv.27

Monday 2 December 2013

thecourieronline.co.uk/tv c2.tv@ncl.ac.uk | @courier_tv

Au revoir mon ami

The ‘little Belgian detective’ has boxed away his moustache. Editor George Sandeman explores the legacy of David Suchet’s portrayal of Agatha Christie’s legendary character

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xplaining how he might have sabotaged his own perfect murder by shooting someone in the middle of the forehead rather than in the temple, to indicate suicide, Poirot said: “I had to, for the symmetry.”

A perfectionist until the end, Hercule’s decision to revoke a lifetime of upholding the law, truth and justice is rather mystifying.

As is how this 23-year-old man can feel so emotionally tied to a fictional Belgian snooper to the extent where he’s welling up on the sofa surrounded by his flatmates. In my family it’s only accept-

How I Met Your Mother

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he dating game is tough. Now that I’m in a happy relationship, I don’t need to worry about things like shit chat up lines, awkward first dates or accidentally grinding on my cousin in a dark nightclub, but you might have to. And if you’re a character on CBS’ long-running How I Met Your Mother, you definitely have to. Nine seasons in and bachelor Ted Mosby has yet to lock eyes on his lady-love, but we (spoiler) have met the mother of his children. Finally. At this point, I just want to get on with my life. As I imagine his very bored future children want to.

#Poirot was the top trending Twitter hash tag on the Wednesday night it was broadcast

able for men to cry on three occasions: the death of a loved one (obviously), when Spurs beat Arsenal (a very rare occurrence) and when Poirot eventually kicks the bucket.

Admittedly, I’m the only one to observe the lattermost of these three but the point is that Poirot was one of the few occasions when the entire family would put aside their various squabbles and do something together on a Sunday evening.

After 25 years and 70 episodes living and breathing Poirot, David Suchet is probably the most emotional of all Poirot-ites (I’m making this a thing) at the conclusion of the Belgian detective’s adventures. Quite simply, Suchet has acted out every short story and novel that Christie ever wrote

Lizzy’s Life Lessons

about Poirot, there is no more.

The TV drama’s popularity is unquestionable, it was the top trending Twitter hash tag on the Wednesday it was broadcast, but its longevity and sole lead actor are what really distinguishes it from its detective fiction peers.

Suchet is a true character actor who embodies the person he is playing - like Christian Bale and Gary Oldman have more famously done - and plys the majority of his trade on the stage. He could have left long ago to pursue a career of perhaps greater

fame and prestige but he didn’t.

He stayed and committed the entirety of his thespian abilities to bringing to life one of fiction’s most well known characters.

His face is so synonymous with the former Belgian chief of police that Suchet cannot walk around Brussels without being stopped by for a quick photograph with the nation’s best known crime fighter.

And that is Suchet’s legacy, that every time the name Poirot is mentioned his face is brought to mind as if he actually existed.

Joy of judgemental men

“ At this point, I just want to get on with my life. As I imagine his very bored future children want to.”

It’s unlucky that life isn’t a scripted romance for everyone, but the up side is, there are things to be taken away from Ted’s tragic years of dating that are practically guaranteed to help you find the one or at the very least, learn how to stalk them.

If the scent of desperation were a perfume, Ted Mosby would own the patent. But for those of you still fooled by the age-old presumption that desperation is unattractive, you’d find yourself to be wrong. It’s actually the opposite. The pheromones secreted by those desperate for companionship is sexually appealing to all – so make sure to harass the owner of a dating agency and tell that woman you just met that you’re in love with her. Post that lonely Facebook status. Don’t hide your feelings.

We’ve all watched them. We’ve all laughed at them. We all love to judge. Jack Dempsey, Lauren Hickin and Jake Hughes have a look to see which talk show host does it best

Jeremy Kyle

Maury Povich

he Jeremy Kyle Show show unveils the sordid lives of the under class, whom we laugh at from the comfort of our living rooms while they attempt to articulate their complex emotional issues. The host, Jeremy Kyle, appears as a Christlike man, who browbeats his guests until they crumble to a state of stuttering vulnerability.

The guests appear to have been through checks before the make their grand appearance on the show; mainly to check that they are sure to provide the most entertainment by being the most angry they possibly could be, and to check that they would be ready to fly off stage faster than a bee looking for fresh pollen. It is exploitation at its most unsavoury. Admittedly, it’s hard to sympathise with people who have decided that making a spectacle of themselves is a reasonable way to solve private problems, and of course, by the end of each story, we feel like we know every little detail about each guest. However addictive it may be, I cannot condone any show that encourages the viewer to look at these people as though they’re subhuman.

he phrase ‘guilty pleasure’ is one which I use with caution. My long-abiding love for Gossip Girl can easily be forgiven, as can my most uncool penchants for opera and musicals. For these things I refuse to feel shame, but when I turn the channel on to Maury, the flutter of nervous laughter and attempts to pass my viewing off as ironic are part and parcel of the experience.

I know I should feel sorry for these children, who in years to come will cringe away at their parents’ behaviour. I should look away in revulsion when a feckless father responds to the legendary “You are NOT the father!” with a happy dance to music of his own choice. I know that the halfhour spent watching a horrendous mother-in-law proved wrong about her son’s big-eared progeny is one I will never get back. I know that I could be watching Homeland, Sherlock or one of my land Rome box sets.

After watching a full episode, finding myself shouting at the television, having William Shatner-level reactions to DNA results and gleefully chuckling as the guy who was ‘100% certain’ is told that he’s the baby daddy, I do in fact feel guilty. But I love it.

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Jerry Springer

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ith loud chants of ‘JERRY JERRY JERRY’, scheduled pseudo fights complete with the ring of a bell, less than educated contestants and a very condescending host, this show is a hybrid of WWE and The Weakest Link.

I have to admit that in the past I have been partial to a bit of The Jerry Springer Show, usually on a hung-over Sunday and I have to make a confession (*whisper*): I liked it. I mean who wouldn’t want to watch two women have a shirtless fight over the sleeping rights of their desired man?

However before writing this I had another watch and after a viewing absence of a few years, my perception had changed. I can now see it for what it is. The participants of the show and their lack of awareness for degrading sarcasm are abused for cheap laughs and pitiful jokes.

The show tells us to laugh at a person’s oppressive under class position in society and the drug addiction that follows. Yet, shouldn’t we really be trying to help them rather than exploiting them further?

I can see why it is entertaining to veg out and indulge in thoughtless laughs, but for me my morals no longer allow me to enjoy this one.

Make sure to overdo the ‘romantic’ gestures, especially if your love interest has actively expressed a dislike for romantic gestures. It’s also totally cool to break into their apartment to set it up, to ambush them when they get back from work. Style wise, be sure to rock some red cowboy boots and a partial beehive – the ladies love that look. Girls, red cowboy boots would look sexy on you, so instead try adopting Ted’s condescending, knowit-all personality to get the guys going. Try being an arsehole, like when Ted broke up with Natalie twice, on her birthday (the first in a voicemail in front of a surprise party and the second accompanied by a chorus of ‘you’re not the one for me’). He also strung poor, naïve Henrietta along, constantly ditching her to feed cake to another woman. If that’s not a third degree burn, I don’t know what is.

If all else fails, you could also try being persistent!

Like, for instance, when Robin clearly stated that she was not interested in Ted and he chased after her for the next seven years. Make sure to read into every tiny, insignificant inch they may or may not give you. Ted’s persistence would eventually inadvertently lead him to the woman of his dreams.

Who turned out not to be Robin. So he badgered her. For several years. For no reason at all. I can’t even be sarcastic about this one. No means no. Do not do this.

Elizabeth Atkin

28.artsfeature

Monday 2 December 2013

The Courier

Arts Editors: Charlie Dearnley and Millie Walton Deputy Arts Editor: Laura Wotton

Moore, Moore, Moore: how does he like it? Conservative Arts Editor Charlie Dearnley sits down with Charles Moore, acclaimed right-wing journalist and ex-editor of the Spectator and Daily Telegraph, to discuss political concerns and Margaret Thatcher’s authorised biography

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harles Moore commands a calm, collected and intelligent presence. Stood behind a glass screen in the Herschel lobby, he uttered assumptively significant sentences down the phone, whilst a restless audience glanced restlessly in his direction, awaiting his departure to the auditorium. The phone left his ear, entered his pocket, and I was beckoned over.

I queried as to the quality of his journey up to Newcastle, and he responded by explaining that he had worked whilst on the train. Charles Moore appears worn from his years of imparting opinions.

Experienced, he speaks in a considered manner, by which one can almost see the cogs of his brain whirring behind his thinning hair line as the words tumble from his full, rose blushed face. Bizarrely, I was perhaps initially most shocked by the thinness of his wrists, as they peered from beneath his cuffs.

If Quentin Blake had illustrated the aristocracy, Charles Moore would be the perfect muse, though I’m unsure as to his willingness to life model.

Having held the position of Editor at The Telegraph, The Sunday Telegraph, and The Spectator, Moore boasts a highly successful and famously conservative career. I enquired as to his hopes and expectations for the Tories in the next general election, and he embarked upon a contradictory monologue. “The Cameron vs Milliband thing is quite strong for Cameron,” he said, despite it not being quite as good as it has been, what with widespread dissatisfaction with the current coalition. Moore also emphasized his opinion that “there is a fundamental incoherence with Labour,” as they haven’t recovered and learned from any great defeat.

“There is a fundamental incoherence with Labour”

What Moore failed to mention was Nigel Farrage’s prophetic declaration that UKIP will be able to provide a threatening opposition to the three main parties within two years. The next general election currently looks to be solely dominated by the right wing, and when Moore summarized his response by vaguely refuting that it will be “an open contest,” it must be taken with a pinch of salt, as in this current political climate, how much of a difference do our votes really make?

This is a point most recently brought to the media’s attention by the frivolous, bearded lover of disproportionately embellished vocabulary Russell Brand. I was intrigued to find out what Moore thought of Brand’s recent call for a ‘revolution of conscience,’ and Moore laughed. It was the only laugh that rumbled from his belly in the ten minutes I was with him, and it was tinged with a dismissive dispassion. He justly commented that if Brand had undergone a revolution of conscience then he would “give away the large sums of money he earns,”but that he is tapping into the true point that people are discontented with the current situation, if only in a “baby-ish way”. Brand’s description of events is an “overdramatized version of a common observation,” and despite his initially trivializing chuckle, Moore accepted that Brand’s call for people to stop voting is a legitimate concern. Currently voting is “a pretty inadequate way of getting purchase on the system,” and there is a fear that actively not voting will become a vote of

ously restricted confines of her personal life whilst researching her career. Having known her so well, I asked if he thought anyone amidst the current crop of MPs embodied her approach to politics.

He declared his opinion that she is the dominant influence in modern politics, and not just within the Conservative party. What he conceded as rarer was for someone to replicate her career trajectory, arguing that “opportunity for someone from the wrong side of the tracks has diminished in a strange way, [and] the people on the right side are more numerous than they used to be.” This is a fact recently brought to light by John Major, though in a somewhat less binary manner.

Moore told me that he refuses to answer questions about Margaret Thatcher’s hypothetical opinions on current events, as ultimately he has no definitive answer. Yet when I asked what he thought Thatcher’s approach to the war on terror would be, he gave a considered insight, as Thatcher arguably faced many forms of terrorism whilst in office. He divulged that she would have disagreed with the “dominant theory of now, which is talk to them, find the moderates, peel them off,” and rather would have taken a hardline stance, and tried to “freeze them and fight them.” This comes as no surprise considering her famed dominant power.

“Opportunity for someone from the wrong side of the tracks has diminished”

dissatisfaction itself. The numbers of people voting of four hundred and there are ten black people now are “historically low,” which isn’t particularly in it, you think oh that’s very nice and you know encouraging for the current system, a democracy them as individuals and so on. But if in a village that has evolved dramatically in recent years. of four hundred it’s suddenly more than half the One prime example in Moore’s mind is that “you population that are from a foreign country, that’s a can be really quite anti-immigration now in a way different proposition.” He then continued to state that if you were a self-respecting goody-goody that this instigates most concern for “indigenous person you couldn’t be in the past.” I requested poorer people, of course.” his opinion of Nigel Farage’s recent proposed imI contested that we should impart the same judgmigration policies, and whether or not he was just ments on immigrants as we do elsewhere in sofear mongering, and I ciety, as within society “If you live in a village of four not everyone is collecfound Moore’s answer somewhat unsettling. hundred and there are ten black tively endeavouring to He took an undisputcontribute to the weledly old school Tory people in it, you think oh that’s fare of fellow citizens, stance on the subject, and we therefore can’t claiming that the dis- very nice and you know them as expect immigrants to pute on immigration individuals and so on. But if in a all be impeccable. With concerns some “hard so much crime already lessons about multi- village of four hundred it’s sud- within England, who culturalism,” and “so- denly more than half the popula- are we to impart such cial provision.” He segregated judgment. seemed to avoid the tion that are from a foreign coun- At any rate, in a village matter of Farage’s fear- try, that’s a different proposition” of four hundred, I’m mongering based on certain I wouldn’t strive fictitious facts regarding Bulgarian and Romanian to know everyone individually anyway, regardless immigrants bringing increased gang crime into of race. Moore’s extreme and fabricated examples England, so I prompted him to continue. He per- seemed more a means to convey his conservative sisted in dodging around Farage, enthusing that opinion, than a genuine comment on the fearthe specific question of Romanian immigrants is mongering of Farage. confounded upon the “grotesquely wrong predicMoore’s old school Tory opinions are confoundtion that the Labour government made about how ed by a consistent interested involvement in the many would come.” He seemed wholly focused on Conservative party. He recently wrote Margaret the importance of numbers as the core for grow- Thatcher’s authorized biography and was her coning anxiety, declaring that “if you live in a village fidante for many years, working within the previ-

Moore’s insight into Thatcher’s life was further divulged within his public lecture on the compiling of the acclaimed biography. The most revealing show of Thatcher’s character was captured within Moore’s concluding topic, reflecting on a previous time in her life before she had begun her political career. When on a date in a wealthy farmer’s house she encountered sexist segregation as she sat with the men after dinner, and after stimulated conversation was invited, “shall we join the women?” The women sat separately, awaiting the men’s arrival in another room, presumably unable to engage in intelligent political debate. Years later, Thatcher held a dinner to thank everyone that helped and advised her during the Falklands war, though there supposedly wasn’t room to cater for the men’s wives. Dinner ended and she stood, and addressed the room, suggesting, “shall we join the women?”

From this one can discern that Thatcher didn’t transform gender roles within British government, and instead sought sole power and dominance.

Moore still fervently argues that she has disseminated the division between men and women within politics, but that it wasn’t immediately apparent, and instead steadily developed after her period in office. However, one could simply argue that this is rather a natural progression of society.

Throughout the lecture Moore spoke eloquently, clearly intellectually involved in the life of Margaret Thatcher, and one would expect nothing less.

He speaks with such self-assurance and confidence in his own opinions that if one doesn’t listen carefully, many conservative and disagreeable opinions can seem nonchalant and agreeable without critical engagement.

The Courier

musicfeature.29

Monday 2 December 2013

Music Editors: Kate Bennett and Ian Mason

The defendant pleads guilty

You should embrace your less-than-cool musical preferences, not hide them, says Music Editor Kate Bennett

I

t’s December, which means every shop, restaurant and radio station will start cracking out the festive tunes at every opportunity. Now, I love a Christmas song, as long as it doesn’t involve Cliff Richard or Chris Rea. Shakin’ Stevens and his jumper, Wham! on their yuppie skiing holiday, Band Aid 1984 breaking the world record for Biggest Number Of Self-Righteous Knobheads With Mullets In One Room At The Same Time – Christmas is nothing without these things. Doing Noddy Holder impressions during the festive edition of Top of the Pops is the closest my rigidly secular family gets to any kind of seasonal tradition, other than my dad putting wrapping paper on his head at some point during Christmas Day (if something can be worn as a hat, he will wear it as a hat).

The thing about Christmas songs, though, is that you’re kind of not allowed to like them except in an ironic, isn’t-this-ridiculous, go-on-thenbut-only-because-it’s-Christmas way - with the possible exception of ‘Fairy Tale of New York’ and ‘Happy Xmas (War Is Over)’, because they’re by The Pogues and John Lennon and are therefore somehow ACCEPTABLE. I say bollocks to this. My favourite Christmas song is Mariah’s ‘All I Want For Christmas Is You’ (the 1994 version without Justin Bieber on it, obvs), and I don’t care who knows it. A few years ago, it would’ve been a guilty pleasure, the kind of thing you publicly wrinkle your nose up at but secretly blast on your headphones when no one can hear. Since then, though, I’ve come to the conclusion that guilty pleasures are a stupid concept.

their own specific sound to go with the look and the attitude. Metalheads have metal (duh), mods had soul, New Romantics had synthpop, Juggalos have Insane Clown Posse, etc etc etc. There’s this idea that the kind of music you listen to marks you out as a certain kind of person, that to deviate from it is to betray an insecurity or falsity about who you’re profess-

ing to be.

Over the past twenty years, though, the way we consume music has changed beyond recognition. In 1993, if you wanted to try listening to s omet hing new, your choice was pretty much confined to seeing them live or buying the album (or

“When you’re a kid you don’t care what Pitchfork thinks”

taste, and it is entirely acceptable for a junglist to crack out the air guitar if Bon Jovi comes on: Goldie isn’t going to come round your house and demand you delete all his mixes off your iTunes.

It’s stupid try and lie to yourself about what you like, because that’s essentially like trying to airbrush out a part of your personality.

Furthermore, the songs we define as ‘guilty pleasures’ are often the silly, cheesy kind of songs that prove we’re not all hardened Metacritic-style automatons, evaluating everything for shreds of forward-thinking merit and wrapping it up in a rating that’s as precise and heartlessly cutting as a dissecting scalpel. James Blake’s music is incredibly innovative and everything, and well-deserving of the Mercury Prize, but I’d rather listen to Beyonce, if I’m honest. Deep down, we all love a big anthemic chorus, a novelty dance move, a key change you can see coming from a mile off. They take us back to being a six year old at a birthday party in a village hall, skidding across the polished floor in our socks, going mental to the Spice Girls because when you’re six you don’t care about what Pitchfork thinks or what your music taste ‘says’ about you. You just respond, in the purest, most logical way, to something you like.

Let’s stop the self-flagellation and get back to that six-year-old way of thinking. Now go and put some Spice Girls on, you miserable git.

“Taste is no longer a straight choice between genres”

Pop music has long been something that people use to help define who they are, or who they think they are. If you look at any subculture of the past fifty years or so, most of them have had “I don’t especially agree with the ideals behind the concept of a guilty pleasure as I don’t feel shame around the music that I like. There is music that I know other people find amusing that’s included in my collection, be it Lionel Richie, Cradle of Filth or ABBA, but that doesn’t make me ashamed. If anything I’m pleased to for once be able to irritate others with my music of choice” - Ian Mason Guilty pleasure: Rihanna ‘Love the Way You Lie’ “I don’t give a shit about things like that, I don’t hide it from my Spotify, I just go for it. Cringe and proud!” - Amy Macauley Guilty pleasure: Busted

borrowing off a mate). In 2013, if you want to try listening to something new, you just need to open your laptop and load up YouTube, or SoundCloud, or Bandcamp, or Spotify, or - you get my drift. It’s so much easier these days to listen to music from all kinds of genres, rather than sticking to what you know because of the hassle of trying to find anything different.

Consequently, taste is no longer a straight choice between genres; mixing and matching is the order of the day, and nothing is off limits. Nobody is wholly one consistent personality type down to their core: we’re all multi-faceted, multilayered people and we like all sort of different things because of it. Someone who defines themself as being a fan of gangsta rap might also like the odd Fall Out Boy track, and that’s fine – it doesn’t make them tasteless, or a traitor to 2pac’s memory or anything. A Local Natives-loving indie kid should be allowed to sing along to Carly Rae Jepsen without feeling like they’ve devalued their entire music

“The concept of guilty pleasure is enforced by people who have no taste” - Pete Style Guilty pleasure: Anything by My Chemical Romance, except for their most recent album.

“There’s no such thing in my dictionary as a guilty pleasure just pleasures that other people may not share. Saying that though, I do feel as if dead relatives and fellow feminists are watching me from afar as I sing Wrecking Ball to myself in the mirror” - Jamie Shepherd Guilty pleasure: Miley Cyrus ‘Wrecking Ball’ I don’t think there’s such a thing as a ‘guilty pleasure’ when it comes to music either, although I do feel a bit guilty when I listen to Death Cab - but that’s more through fear of people judging me and thinking I’m a 15 year old emo. I’m not, I just like his voice, honest” Lizzie Hampson Guilty pleasure: Death Cab For Cutie

“I think the idea of feeling guilty about enjoying music is extremely daft - why waste your time listening to music and constantly judging it by some non-existent standard of good taste rather than whether it makes you feel anything? That said, I do feel bad about how much I like ‘Rock ‘ n’ Roll Part 2’ by Gary Glitter. I console myself with the fact that it’s mainly the Glitter Band, with Gary himself restricted to shouting “Hey!” here and there. Then again, there’s the suspicion that he might be shouting “Hey!” at underage Vietnamese girls. Oh, the shame” - Tom Nicholson Guilty pleasure: Gary Glitter - ‘Rock ‘n’ Roll Part 2’

“Guilty pleasure songs are good because they make people feel ashamed of themselves” - Hazel Parnell Guilty pleasure: Robbie Williams “I think we describe things as guilty pleasures not because they make us feel guilty, but because we think they ought to. For instance, instead of doing work, I’m currently sitting at my desk listening to ‘Superstition’

by Stevie Wonder and eating my own body weight in chocolate. Do I feel guilty? Not even slightly.

I’m sure my essay will right itself eventually” Elizabeth Archer Guilty pleasure: Stevie Wonder ‘Superstition’

30.music

Monday 2 December 2013

The Courier

Music Editors: Kate Bennett and Ian Mason

RAGE

against the

ROUTINE

Lewis Ancrum is bugged by the artist we chose to feature last week

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dmittedly I do have a bit of a hipster complex when it comes to popular musicians, especially those that top our wonderfully unoriginal pop charts, but my annoyance at the meteoric rise of Mr Bugg is deeper than just pop bashing. For starters, I’m really getting sick of the idea that because an artist actually has talent, and admittedly Jake Bugg does, this makes him special - it doesn’t. People seem to have forgotten that’s how it’s supposed be, you’re supposed to write your own material and play your music live. Welcome to real music.

Jake Bugg is another teenager with an acoustic guitar, blasting out retro tinted music to the indie faithful. That’s not new and it’s not special. Ed Sheeran, Ben Howard - they’re all at it, and they all get overhyped because they’re actual musicians rather than manufactured abominations are topping charts. They all pat each other on the back and tell themselves they’re doing a great job, acutely unaware that they’re ripping each other off - and even worse than that, ripping off people who were original. Admittedly Jake Bugg’s variation across a couple of genres makes for a nice change. I can sit doing my work in the union with Radio 1 in the background and can get Johnny Cash, Oasis and Arctic Monkey’s all channelled by one lad, saves me switching to Spotify.

As I rant I’m reaching the realisation that my problem isn’t so much with Jake Bugg’s music and talent, it is with the hype and attitude towards his music. The man is everywhere. Every time you watch TV he’s making appearances and if I hear ‘Lightning Bolt’ on the radio or on a night out again I may spontaneously combust. The worst bit of all this is my friends don’t agree, they’re in love with him and routinely sit and tell me how he’s amazing and different to the usual chart drivel. We once stood united against the unoriginal sound of a lot of ‘indie’ music but now I’m feeling very isolated with my opinion. They tried dragging me along to see him live recently and luckily I had other commitments because I’m not sure how I would have survived without being assimilated by the terrifying indie horde. I had the fortune to grow up in Yorkshire, where bands like Arctic Monkeys and Reverend & the Makers have been held up as regional symbols. Singing whilst really emphasising their accent used to be cool to hear, but now Jake Bugg and co. are doing it as well and it is just getting annoying. I can’t help but feel a lot of them do it to cover up their deficiencies as vocalists.

On the upside Jake Bugg had a pop at 1D recently and if there is ever a comparison to make him look good it’s that one.

He’s not that bad, I just wish people would stop making him out to be some musical genius, it’s admirable he writes his own material and can play but this shouldn’t be surprising, and I hope as he gets older he develops more of his own sound instead of leeching off his influences.

Midnight Memories One Direction T

his May, One Direction announced their intention to take over the world via stadium gigs. All the big names are there: the Stade de France; the San Siro; Chile’s Estadio Nacional; and then, the daddy of them all, three nights at Wembley. The question of quite how they intend to go about ‘rockin’ the joint’ is the main concern of Midnight Memories. The answer? They go and make a stadium-pop record, obviously.

There aren’t really many precedents for this sort of thing, mainly because pop groups just don’t play stadiums. So, where do they look to for inspiration? Well, those indomitable beasts of the big gig: Coldplay-style mid-tempo balladry and – hold onto your lunches, poodle-haired stadium rock.

For proof of the latter, look to the title track: there’s a gruff “a-one, a-two, three, four” intro and, aptly enough, it pinches bits of ‘I Love Rock ‘n’ Roll’ and staples them to Def Leppard’s ‘Pour Some Sugar On Me’. It’s very silly and rather brilliant, as is the pilfering of ‘Baba O’Riley’ on ‘Best Song Ever’.

‘Little Black Dress’, a close cousin of Tom Petty’s ‘24-6-8 Motorway’, is similarly sledgehammer-subtle and all the better for it.

“Most notably, the boys are getting a little bit sexy”

Midnight Memories is rather less fun when the new wave pop angle is junked and the 1D convertible swerves into the middle of the road. ‘You and I’ is a tremendously dreary acoustic emote-a-thon with all the get-up-and-go of a sloth after a couple of Night Nurses. ‘Don’t Forget Where You Belong’, co-authored by McFly, tries the same trick of nicking big rock ‘n’ roll tropes, but unfortunately picks

some of the more prosaic ones: it rhymes “been a lot of places” with “seen a lot of faces” and references “living out of cases”. That said, the Lumineersish ‘Happily’ boasts the biggest and best 1D chorus since ‘Kiss You’, roars along at a fair old lick and, manages to make a mandolin sound exciting.

Most notably, the boys are getting a little bit sexy: there are mentions of “in the morning”, and wanting to “see the way you move for me baby”. However, while that last example makes them sound like middle-aged businessmen in a provincial strip club, it’s a kind of fumbling-behind-the-sofa, whoops-I-thought-that-was-your-elbow, oh-Godsorry-it’s-never-done-that-before kind of nudging and winking awareness of the general idea of sex.

In short, Midnight Memories is the album on which 1D stop holding hands in the playground and start giving lovebites in the park.

For all that though, it’s only fitfully great. In stretching out to fill the cavernous expanses of multipurpose sports facilities, the puppyish enthusiasm which marks 1D out from their contemporaries is largely sidelined in favour of earnestness and, consequently, banality. This isn’t an album which shows a full transition from the early teens to young adulthood, not quite; while the songs here show an attempt to edge away from the spritely naivety which characterised their first two albums, it’s still their usual coltish, joyful mode in which they excel rather than trying to prove to anyone that they’ve got emotional depth. Overall, the highs aren’t quite as high, but the lows aren’t nearly so low. Wembley’s going to be fabulous.

Recommended download: ‘Midnight Memories’

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Recommended download: ‘Let Me Go’

Union J Union J

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ellow X Factor rejects excite fifteen-yearolds equally and sell almost as much merchandise. If Cowell-pop is your go to guilty pleasure then Union J are the act for you when you wear your One Direction CD out to the point of being unplayable.

Foreverly

Since I Saw You Last Gary Barlow

ormer member of Take That, X factor judge and former failure from my hometown of Frodsham, NOT Manchester (tit) throws caution to the wind in another attempt at a solo career. Having been successful with his cash cow of a reunion tour with Robbie and the boys, he may as well milk everything for what it’s worth whilst he still can.

A touch harsh but really that’s what this album is.

He can’t half write a song our Gary and he can’t half belt out a tune in his Manchester-Liverpool crossbreed accent (check the geography of Frodsham).

However, it just seems as though he’s trying to join the mainstream rather than do anything good or different.

First single to be released is ‘Let Me Go’ which is very uplifting and bound to put a smile on your face, but if you didn’t know it was him and you were asked who it was singing, you’d say it was Mumford and Son’s, who are boring as hell anyway.

That being said there is some nice melodic songs such as ‘since I saw you last’ and ‘god’. That’s exactly the problem though, this album is all just very nice.

It’s rather unremarkable, enjoyable on a Sunday afternoon with a cup of tea and a piece of cake.

It’ll do well because it’s Gary Barlow, and he’s a celebrity these days. However, one thinks this may have gone to his head a little and he’s forgotten the music. He can’t half write a song and sing but never forget the past Gary, this has happened once before, milking it while you can is fine, but be warned.

Tom Nicholson

If you like this, try ...

Billie Joe Armstrong & Norah Jones

Black Flag

What The ...

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Recommended download: ‘My Heart’s Pumping’

Recommended download: ‘Long Time Gone’

or the first time in 25 years, hardcore punk legends Black Flag have recorded new material. In an attempt to reach a new audience with this generation, they’ve adopted a back-tobasics approach, reminiscent of their earliest work before they began foraying into innovative genre blends whilst Henry Rollins was the man behind the mic. Instead of the iconic frontman we are left with Ron Reyes, who appeared on EPs prior to Rollins, and – whilst a valiant vocal effort for a man pushing sixty – he sorely lacks any of the panache that Rollins brought to the table.

Gone is the sense of humour, biting social commentary and spoken word approach that made later Black Flag albums interesting, instead we are treated to a re-tread of what the band were putting out in their infancy, to which I say, why not just re-release Damaged? A hardcore band comprised of men in their late fifties should be more dignified than this. Greg Ginn (founder and lead guitarist) seems content playing throwback guitar parts at the expense of variation. The opening track, ‘My Heart’s Pumping’ succeeds at recreating the band’s original sound, but nostalgia surely isn’t what the Black Flag from 1981 would have had in mind if they even pondered their being in 2013. If however, you are looking for a vintage sounding Black Flag record, then I suppose this somewhat delivers: the chuggy bass lines, changing tempos, chanting vocals and some of the ferocity is still there, but it’s nothing fresh. Through 22 tracks the album wears thin and fails to bring anything new to a band that brought so much to the hardcore genre twenty five years ago. It’s a shame, but what did you expect?

Will Druck

ike most with an iota of the romantic in them, I love Norah Jones. The name Billie Joe, on the other hand, failed to ring any bells of recognition. Upon researching, I discovered he is the lead singer of the band Green Day, and was puzzled why the pair would chose to collaborate on a folk album.

I tentatively take a listen, and am at first put off by the folksiness of the entire album. The choice of performing such a niche genre aside, Norah’s voice retains the silky smooth quality fans expect. I can appreciate the acoustic, mainly because they help to drone out Billie Joe, his nasally contribution clumsily trying to keep up with Norah’s polished vocals.

When Billie Joe takes centre stage, opening the track ‘Barbara Allen’, his whiny rock star voice fails to conform to the country style, straining to hit the range of notes and awkwardly adopting an unconvincing rural drawl. Given that the album is full of covered material, I wonder why Billie Joe was asked to partake in such a project.

By the end of the album I am happy to turn it off, and feel I should explain to my housemates why I chose to play these plodding and depressing tracks on a Saturday night.

The most I can say for Norah Jones is that she is acceptable, her voice neither outstanding nor unbearable. As for Billie Joe, he may be fresh out of rehab, but after listening to his performance all I want is a drink to drown out the memory.

Hannah Goldstein

The Courier

music.31

Monday 2 December 2013

thecourieronline.co.uk/music c2.music@ncl.ac.uk | @courier_music

SceNE: Events

Master of pop-ets

Each week we take a closer look at a different spot in Newcastle’s music scene. This week: Ape-X

Jack Nuttgens gives us a rundown of some of the craziest metal covers of the chart topping pop hits that scare the hell out of us

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or most students on a typical three-year course in Newcastle, it is hard to imagine a time when there wasn’t house music blaring from almost every club along the Diamond Strip most nights of the week. The expansion of the scene has attracted many of the UK’s hottest producers to venture further north than Leeds and Manchester in the past two years, and several copycat nights have sprung up to try and grab a piece of the action.

Ape-X however, is one party that cannot be accused of jumping on the bandwagon. With a history stretching back as far as 2008, this is a night that can stake a claim as one of the longest-running and most respected house and techno parties in the North East. Ape-X, which occupies Cosmic Ballroom on a monthly basis, has grown in popularity amongst locals as well as students from both the city’s universities in the five years since its inception, and doesn’t look like slowing down any time soon.

In the past two years alone, the Ape-X team have

Photo Credit: Jonny Wilson

Photo Credit: Jonny Wilson hosted an enviable collection of established names, including Joy Orbison, Paul Woolford, Bicep, and T. Williams, to name just a few. Far from being limited to British names, the nights have taken on an increasingly international dimension, with artists such as Deetron, Finnebassen and Detroit Swindle also making the journey from Europe to entertain the Cosmic faithful. Not to mention the part the night has played in supporting less well-known DJs: the Leeds-based collective JammHot have benefitted hugely from their Ape-X residency, and slots are even put aside for members of Newcastle University’s very own NU:DJ society.

The night caters for party-goers of all backgrounds, and doesn’t price students out of the market, often offering tickets for stellar line-ups for the same price as the average club night. It has gained national recognition from Resident Advisor, and its popularity was probably a key contributing factor in Cosmic’s recent nomination for DJ Mag’s best small club in the UK. Last week saw the party move out of Chinatown for the first

time, taking over three floors of Digital to accommodate Skream (arguably their biggest name yet), who blew the roof off as predicted. Although the night was a huge success, we are assured Ape-X aren’t giving up their roots just yet and the party will be back in Cosmic for their Christmas celebration next month.

Directions Walking: Ape-X is usually based at the Cosmic Ballroom which is right in the middle of China Town on Stowell Street. Dead easy to find, it’s facing the back of The Gate opposite the entrance to the casino.

Metro: The nearest stop is St. James’ - From getting off head towards the Chinese Gate which is straight in front of you, and turn right onto Stowell Street Bus: A stones throw Haymarket bus station. Walk in the direction of The Gate and go from there Luke Davis

Talking Heads Interactive music videos seem to be creeping into our lives. Tom Ardron and Jamie Shepherd dispute their pros and cons

2. Rammstein - ‘Stripped’ (Depeche Mode) This song was recorded for a Depeche Mode tribute album, and as such it’s a little less bombastic than Rammstein’s usual style - not that that’s saying much. The song relies more on keyboards than guitars, which only serves to bring Till Lindemann’s baritone to the fore. Whilst the vocal lines are recognisably Depeche Mode, Till’s voice is, as ever, unmistakable. Hearing him growl lines like “Come with me/ Into the trees” can be anything from sexy through to mildly unsettling, to downright nightmarish.

3. Hacktivist - ‘N****s in Paris’ (Jay-Z & Kanye West) Paris, to give it its more radio-friendly name, is one of the most recognisable and joyously over-the-top singles of the last few years, and Milton Keynesbased djent-grime band Hacktivist do the only thing they can to take it a step further - backing up the braggadocio with crushing, down-tuned guitars. The slabs of guitar work seamlessly with the original rhythm and although the fact that Hacktivist frontman J Hurley has to do both vocal parts does make interjections like “Ain’t it, Jay?” somewhat awkward, the triumphant delivery more than makes up for it.

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usic and art have ventured hand in hand from day one. Album art catches the eye of the consumer and music videos came around to constantly market bands - but there’s more to it than this. It’s a chance for a band or artist to express themselves in a creative way beyond that which is portrayed musically, or to create an image for them that may not be evident from their music alone. The interactive music video for me is just the 21st century addition to this.

This addition allows bands and artists to collaborate with other, whilst at the same time promoting their own work.

The fact that this equally promotes the work of the visual/web artist (as they generally require commissions like this to get themselves noticed) makes it a win-win situation.

The most recent examples of interactive videos have come from the likes of; Queens of the

1. Turisas - ‘Rasputin’ (originally by Boney M) A couple of facts about Rasputin: full name Grigori Yefimovich Rasputin, he was reputed to have healing hands, hypnotic eyes and a nine-inch penis. A couple of facts about Turisas: they are named after a Finnish war god, wear furs and body paint on stage, and call their music Battle Metal. A fitting band, then, for the subject matter - no disrespect to 70s Eurodisco group Boney M intended. Either way, it’s a joyous thing to hear and a mainstay of their live sets for a reason. Every part of the song is unashamedly flamboyant; from the opening drum fills to the call-andresponse vocals, chugging guitar and dramatic use of the violin. Even the closing murmur of “Oh, those Russians” is more melodramatic than the original.

Stone Age to Das Racist to Arcade Fire (the latter of which seem to be huge fans of the medium as they have released an interactive video for each of their last 3 albums). However, what is it that makes them release these? Primarily I think promotion is still the main focus, especially as Arcade Fire’s IV creations are collaborations with web giant Google Chrome. This could be an attempt to shrug off the ‘Who The Fuck Is Arcade Fire?’ comments (of which they cashed in heavily from anyway) by using a global corporation to get themselves noticed, or simply because they like the work that Chrome creates. Secondly, with interaction between fans and artists via social media increasing rapidly, this just adds another level to it - artists and bands are giving fans options. They are tailoring their product for individual users in the hope that this will sway them to purchase their music. In a world where illegal downloads dominate, you really can’t knock them for trying.

Plus, who doesn’t need something else to distract them from that essay that is due in tomorrow?

Tom Ardron

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think the sun shines out of Arcade Fire’s arse but I’ll admit that I cannot get my head round their IMVs. My first experience of one was with ‘We Used to Wait’. It ran on Google Chrome so I made a massive deal of downloading it just to watch it. When it asked for my postcode I was

expecting some form of innovative usage of new media technology, but all it entailed was a map image of my part of Sunderland being rotated slowly from above. Similarly, when I watched the IMV for ‘Reflektor’, I had the same excitement when it asked for permission to use my webcam, but imagine my disappointment when all that entailed was seeing my hungover and hideous face on some form of broken mirror.

As far as narratives within interactive music videos go, I’d say the only comparison I have is of a really shit video game in that they make you think you’re in control but in reality there’s a set base of commands which rarely do anything of interest.

Take the IMV for Ellie Goulding’s ‘Lights’ for example; just when you thought that the first lady of vacuous couldn’t get any more beige, she releases the most boring excuse of an IMV possible, which features something cosmic floating across a flashing landscape that would have an epileptic in peril.

The only controls were click to go faster, or don’t click at all.

There’s one IMV I liked which put you in the world of some pool party. If you clicked on someone you then saw things from their POV. I’d never be able to tell you who the band were or what the song was as I too was distracted flirting with shirtless hunks to pay attention to what I was listening to (might have been some band on Kitsune…).

Jamie Shepherd

4. Volbeat - ‘I Only Wanna Be With You’ (Dusty Springfield) This song dates all the way back to 1963, but that’s no problem for Volbeat, a Danish band described as rockabilly metal or Metallica fronted by Johnny Cash. Beginning with a crunching guitar riff, the real highlight of this cut from the band’s 2005 debut The Strength/The Sound/The Songs is singer Michael Poulsen’s country-inspired baritone, which would make anything sound catchy.

5: My Chemical Romance - ‘Desolation Row’ (Bob Dylan) The very idea seems to bring tears to the eyes of Bob Dylan fans, but in context as the soundtrack to Watchmen it makes perfect sense. The first chapter of the graphic novel is named ‘At Midnight All The Agents’ after a line from the song, and who better to sing it than trained animator, graphic novel author and all-round geek Gerard Way? Watchmen director Zack Snyder also directed the video, making it look like a scene from the film. Bob Dylan fans can take some consolation from the fact that this cover has been truncated from the original 11 and a half minutes to just under four.

For gig reviews, interviews and more web features, visit us online at thecourieronline.co.uk/music

32.science

Monday 2 December 2013

The Courier

Science Editor: Elizabeth Hampson Deputy Science Editors: Emad Ahmed and Peter Style

The science between the cracks

The ‘war against drugs’ has caused major debates across politicians and the media for many years, but Deputy Science Editor Emad Ahmed asks, could ceasefire be called if we just listened to the scientists?

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h, Mr Rob Ford, Mayor of Toronto. In case you’re not already aware of this epic saga, which just keeps on giving, Mayor Ford is clinging onto power, despite admitting to using and buying the illegal drug crack cocaine.

Amidst the media circus which has been following Mayor Ford ever since rumours of a video (now in the hands of Toronto’s police service) allegedly showing him inhaling from a crack pipe in May, questions have been raised about Mr Ford’s mental fitness to serve in his role. This is despite the fact his approval ratings have gone up since these revelations and admissions, and his determined defence of not being a drug addict.

But what exactly does it mean to use (or “abuse”, considering the position you might take on drug control) drugs and rely on substances such as crack?

Crack cocaine is a purer variant of cocaine, sold as small, waxy, off-white chunks which are either smoked and inhaled through a crack pipe, or melted and injected directly into the bloodstream.

This can then immediately affect the user for several minutes due to the release of the much-discussed dopamine hormone.

It produces numerous psychological effects, such as; increased energy and alertness, feelings of euphoria, increased confidence and the need for further cocaine use.

However, this need for further “highs” through using more crack can lead to very serious physi-

ological effects, such as the constriction (narrowing) of blood vessels and increased heart rate.

These are the primary reasons why cocaine-related deaths are often due to cardiac arrest.

This sounds scarier compared to the less dramatic stories you hear about Marijuana. Will there ever be a change in law to further ‘protect’ the non-cocaine users of the population, and maybe change the law in favour of other, more harmless drugs, perhaps?

Various cabinet ministers have, in the past, admitted to using drugs, and this trend will probably continue despite their apparent need to constantly appear ‘tough’ on both crime and drugs. David Nutt was controversially removed from his duties as chair of the government’s Advisory CounDuane Brown cil on the Misuse of Drugs in 2009, as his expert opinion on the justice system’s need to downgrade the classification of several drugs was no longer required. It’s a perfect example for the necessity of a fact-based debate on the world’s current ‘war on drugs’.

And this voice is not only being echoed by other

fellow experts far and wide across the world, but also translated into political action. Such as the legalisation of personal use and production of cannabis in the US states of Washington and Colorado. You only have to ask one or two of the university’s own drug researchers about what’s really needed to be done about drug control.

It is such an important issue because it leads on to many equally important talking points, such as the prison population.

Va r i o u s statistics are always thrown about regarding the high number of inmates who have committed crimes due to their drug dependencies. Just take a look at Sweden, where the government announced the closure of four prisons due to more lenient sentencing for drug offences and the focus on rehabilitation.

Mr Ford’s accompanying antics are the real reason why he should go. But for someone who was elected as a penny-pinching, economic right-winger, maybe it would help if he and other politicians across the world (including those who should be taken seriously) had the courage to listen to the scientists- the experts- hired and appointed by government advisory bodies. After all, it’s science, stupid.

Illustrations by Rachel Templeman

Crack cocaine fact file Crack cocaine first appeared primarily in New York, Los Angeles and Miami Symptoms of use include: constricted blood vessels; dilated pupils; and increased temperature.

Large amounts (several hundred milligrams or more) may also lead to bizarre, erratic, and violent behaviour. Also inducing tremors, vertigo, muscle twitches and paranoia.

Crack lung is an acute injury to the lungs due to heavy use of smoked crack-cocaine. Extreme crack-cocaine abuse results in scarring and permanent damage

Clam down dear it’s only a dead mollusc If you’re over 21, it’s highly likely you’ve moaned about how old you’re getting at least once.

However, the recent age evaluation of a clam called Ming will make you feel like a child again

T

he myriad animals on planet Earth have a vast range of lifespans, ranging from a few hours to tens or even hundreds of years, but which creature outlives the rest? As far as land-based animals go, we humans are not outdone by many. After all, a potential lifespan of around 80 years is not to be sniffed at; although nowadays this could be argued to be somewhat artificial. The champions of terrestrial longevity, though, are the giant tortoises – the longest lived resided in an Indian zoo to the ripe old age of 255. So this tortoise pre-dated the independence of the USA. 255 years is clearly a bloody good effort at living for a while; however, the true masters of life live

“Alas, it was too late for Ming to celebrate, for the whole ordeal had killed it” beneath the waves.

In 2006 a team of scientists working off the Icelandic coast dredged a humble quahog clam, later named Ming, from the ocean floor. It’s possible to estimate the age of a clam by counting the number of rings on its shell, similarly to how trees can be dated by the concentric rings in their trunks.

Each ring corresponds to one summer when food is plentiful and the clam can expend extra energy on growth.

Upon arrival at a laboratory, Ming was frozen until a later date when the rings would be counted and its age estimated. When the time of ageing came, the scientists opened Ming to count the rings in the hinge region to discover that the clam was around 400 years old – the oldest living creature ever discovered. But alas, it was too late for Ming to celebrate, for the whole ordeal had killed it. For the highly astute among you, the clam’s name may have given a clue as to its age, named after the Chinese dynasty of the time of its birth.

Now, unfortunately for the scientists, a second examination of the shell showed that Ming was actually around 100 years older than originally thought, at 507 years. It is difficult to comprehend that one individual could survive for 507 years, but for comparison, when Ming really came into existence, the Americas had only been known to Europe for 7 years.

As sad as this story is, Ming was not one of a kind.

Ocean quahogs are renowned for their endurance and anyone who has eaten clam chowder on the eastern coast of the US has likely eaten a severalhundred year old clam.

The questionable silver lining in this tale is that learning more about these molluscs could provide us with more clues about the science of ageing – so let’s hope, for Ming’s sake, that it didn’t die in vain.

Tom Mackenzie

Ode to Ming, Methuselah of the waves Farewell, then, dear clam they called Ming born without legs or fists Cruelly cut down in your prime by bloody scientists.

You could not fight them off and win what with your lack of limbs O national treasure of the seas like Richard Briers with fins.

Although ye had not any fins Being but a mollusc England mourns ye and cries as one: “What a load of bollusc.”

Tom Nicholson

nicoleleec

The Courier

science.33

Monday 2 December 2013

thecourieronline.co.uk/science c2.science@ncl.ac.uk | @courier_science

Noah’s Ark with a genetic twist to be frozen in time Climate change, deforestation and the acid bleaching of coral reefs. The future of global biodiversity looks bleak. Deputy Science Editor Peter Style explores how the Frozen Ark Project is preventing all biological record being lost

T

he Frozen Ark Project is a fascinating cocktail of cutting edge genetics, research and conservation. The goals are simple: collect, preserve and store the DNA and viable cells of animals in danger of extinction.

DNA provides invaluable information on fascinating aspects on the ecology, behaviour and evolution from the organism which it’s from.

The project consists of a complex global network of research centres, set up in harmony with some of the world’s leading research organisations, utilising the complex art of cryobiology to study the effects of low temperatures on biological living organisms and their tissues. The tissues themselves will be obtained from both wild and captive individuals, as the project works alongside captive breeding programmes within zoos, as well as conservation pro-

grammes in the wild.

We are currently in the sixth great extinction of the earth’s biological history. Over the next thirty years over one thousand mammal , bird, and aquatic species are all predicted to be under severe threat of extinction. Success of the Frozen Ark Project will provide future scientists of many generations to come, the opportunity to gain valuable insights into the biological workings of species, which sadly by then will cease to exist. Without the ground-breaking work of projects like the Frozen Ark, all biological record of these species would be lost forever.

Sadly, contrary to common belief, often portrayed by misguided media outside of the science world, the work of the ark is not to provide grounds for future resurrection of these species. Instead the ark is a vital element of the work of modern science to combat mass global species extinctions.

Not all endangered species are the mammalian mega fauna reported in the news such as pandas and tigers.

The work of the Frozen Ark Project aims to gain living biological tissue of every globally endangered species. To better combat species loss, the ark is also collecting a comprehensive collection of sperm and egg samples from every species, aiding the captive breeding programmes, already combatting species extinctions today.

No scientist can predict exactly what species are soon destined for extinction. What is known however is that no matter what the future holds, the work of the frozen ark provides foundations for the understanding of any species.

It is then with better understanding of what species we may have lost, that new approaches can be synthesised to stop other species reaching the same fate.

Five things you didn’t know about...

Sloths. This week Lizzie Hampson explore the student’s sleepy, lazy and slow moving mammalian relatives

Ontrly

1

They are related to anteaters

2

There are two types of sloth

They belong to the order Pilosa and have similar claws to their long nosed friends. Then name for the order comes from the Latin word for hairy, which makes sense as sloth fur is different from most mammals, their outer hair grows away from their extremities because they spend a lot of their time hanging around upside down, so they’re clever and fluffy.

Megalonychidae (two-toed sloths) and the Bradypodidae (three-toed sloths). However this is also a bit of a myth because the two toed sloths’ toes are actually fingers which they have in addition to the three toes. Two toed sloths are generally faster than three toed sloths on land, which isn’t really hard as sloths only move as little and as slowly as they possibly can, but who cares about laziness when you’re that cute.

Photo: blprnt_van

What the frack is going on? 3 Fracking has been causing controversy in recent media, will this process revolutionise our use of energy resources or do more damage that its worth? Jack Marley gives us his opinion

I

n America, a man turns a tap. Water comes out. At first, dull and inconspicuous. The man holds a naked flame to the torrent and instantly, this mundane domestic regularity is transformed into something surreal. The funnel of water is ignited, and the man recoils as fire materializes and expands hungrily into the air of his kitchen. This happens in Weld County, Colorado, a community of more than 260,000 people, up to 12.5% of whom are believed to be living below the poverty line.

The flaming faucet phenomenon is immediately familiar to residents of scribbled red zones and thumbtacked ground zeroes on maps of the US, hung on the walls of rich executives. Their lives play out on the bleeding contours of frontiers pockmarked by drill rigs, where the effort to find and exploit oil and gas infects underground aquifers they drink from, and later, the air they breathe.

Hydraulic fracturing (or fracking as it’s better known and exploited for its phonological similarity to another popular f-word) promises to lead “revolutions” according to George Osborne, in energy prices, in the job market and in our ability to power ourselves without relying on resources from abroad.

But if fracking is so much in our interest, why is the health of people in places like Weld County so stunted and enfeebled? Why don’t they look like grateful consumers, instead of bitter and prematurely ageing victims of corporate carelessness?

The short answer is, we don’t know. More appropriately, and perhaps more disturbingly, we

can’t know. Whatever is causing drinking water to burst into flames, to decimate wildlife and proliferate cancer in local people is something I couldn’t

even begin to discuss in a purely-scientific article.

The reason being that in this hyper-capitalist landscape of diminished corporate responsibility and burgeoning public expense, the methods and actions of powerful drilling companies are not for us to know, even if they pose the risk of endangering human life.

But do they? Well the process of fracking involves pumping huge quantities of water, sand and chemicals into shale bed far beneath our feet. This frees natural gas which can be recovered and used to generate energy, but it’s the chemicals used which are the concern. Like the secret recipe for CocaCola, the fracking chemical mix is proprietary.

That single word in relation to the right of companies to withhold information on what they are flooding into the environment tells you everything you need to know about the fracking debate. Whatever the real cost of fracking, the truth belongs to the gas companies and inevitably so does the land, the air and the water.

In America, the impacts of fracking have scarred the face of the land so immutably that these vast tracts of industrial abandon have inherited the moniker of “Gasland”. The borders of Gasland have crept inexorably eastwards to Europe and Africa over the past few years, and now it looks as if an outpost will arise in the heart of a nature sanctuary- Virunga National Park.

If the idea of introducing unaccountable toxicity to a pristine environment and some of the world’s most endangered creatures doesn’t fill you with despair, then nothing will.

Sloths are actually really, really old.

As in they’ve been around for approximately 100 million years. However ancient sloths were not quite the same as the happy little guys we see today, in fact it is thought that one type of ground sloth which appeared 30 million years ago was massive, we’re talking up to 17 feet tall, yikes.

“Sadly though they’re in a lot of danger as there is approximately only 1,000 of them alive today”

4

Infants have to cling on for dear life

Baby sloths generally get around by grabbing hold of their mothers fur and not letting go, but don’t panic, sloths are very sturdily built, even from a young age and so are very unlikely to die from a fall, phew. Females normally have one tiny, fury, happy, wide - eyed bouncing baby a year and they’re so cute, I doubt you’ll be able to deal with it.

5

There are such things as pygmy three toed sloths

These are basically tiny sloths and are probably the most laid back of all. Sadly though, they’re in a lot of danger as there is approximately only 1,000 of them alive today, so we should all go to the Caribbean and save the pygmy sloths right now. Also they can turn their heads 360 degree which is a bit weird but still adorable.

The Courier

35.puzzles

Monday 25 November 2013

Puzzles Let’s get down to quizness, to defeat the huns! Hand in your answers at The Courier office to have a chance of winning drinks at MensBar

Crossword 1

2 5

4

7

11

Win a MensBar voucher

Grandma’s Pictionary

I sat down with Grandma for a game of pictionary, but she’s just not very good, bless her. Can you help me figure out which popular phrase she’s trying to draw?

3

6

9

8

10

Puzzles Editors: Tom Nicholson and Sam Summers

12

Sudoku

13

14

15

2

16

17 18

3

19

Across

4 The black private dick that’s a sex machine to all the chicks (5) 6 Star Trek villain known for having his name bellowed by William Shatner (4) 7 U2 guitarist and revered Pizza Hut dish (4) 8, 3 down Famous daredevil who has broken more bones than anyone else in the world (4) 9 Enemy, nemesis or rival (3) 12 The man that would risk his neck for his brother man (5) 14 A group of Nazis in Captain America mythical serpent with a lorra lorra heads (5) 15 Somebody to look up to (4) 18 A band formed by Alex James, Damien Hirst and Kieth Allen, whose hits include ‘Vindaloo’ (3, 3) 19 One of the more popular aquatic mammals (7)

The first person to bring the completed puzzles to The Courier office in the Students’ Union will be awarded the prize and the respect of their peers, which let’s be honest is priceless

Down

1 A chemical which will turn litmus paper red (5) 2 The cat that won’t cop out when there’s danger all about (5) 3 See 8 across (7) 4 A typically female name given to Johnny Cash’s character in a 1969 hit single (3) 5 Irritating pop rock band who had a hit with their debut single ‘Can We Dance’ (3, 5) 10 He’s a complicated man, and no one understands him but his (5) 11 Peter Griffin’s recently deceased canine companion (5) 13 Before Aleksandr Orlov, this cartoon critter was the most famous fictional meerkat (5) 16 A quirky way of saying ‘lots and lots’ (6) 17 A flavoured frozen drink with a puppy on the cup (5)

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8 6 1

8 7 4 6 9 7 2 6 8

7

6 5 4 6 9 3 1 7 8 4 3 8 2 5

6

Oh, Smiggsy!

36.sportfeatures

Monday 2 December 2013

The Courier

Last-gasp heartbreak

Following Ireland’s gut-wrenching last minute loss to New Zealand in the last of the Autumn internationals, The Courier takes a look back at some equally soul-destroying sporting finales

“FEDERER IN FOUR” Before his devastating loss to Roger Federer in the final of the 2012 Wimbledon Championships, you’d be hard pressed to find the words ‘Andy Murray’ and ‘emotion’ in the same sentence without the prior use of a negative preposition bemoaning the fact that the stoned-faced Scotsman never displays any.

However the aftermath of this painful defeat proved to be Murray’s ‘Gazza Italia 1990’ moment, endearing himself to the British public through a display of heartfelt passion that served to make the loss one of the most heart-breaking moments in recent British sporting history.

Murray had been in impeccable form over the course of the two weeks, dropping just five sets along the way to overcoming a host of tricky opponents on his route to the final including JoWilfried Tsonga in the semi’s and David

Ferrer in the quarters, as well as Marcos Baghdatis, Ivo Karlovic and Nicolay Davydenko in the tournament’s earlier rounds.

Meanwhile with Federer struggling for form going into the tournament, there was a widespread hope that this was could be the one; 76 years of British hurt at Wimbledon at last looking set to come to an end.

On the day of the final it was Murray who seized the early momentum, breaking Federer’s serve in the match’s opening game.

He continued to play with aggression to hold on to the break and take the first set 6-4 – the first time he had managed to do so in what was his fourth Grand Slam Final.

Although Murray would continue to play with skill and poise throughout, he would regrettably go on to lose the match in four sets.

Aguero scores late on to write himself into Manchester City folklore Photography: Getty Images

However, for once in the recent history of second-week British sporting failures at Wimbledon, it wasn’t simply a case of the individual in question crumpling under the weight of a nation’s worth of hope and expectation.

Murray’s problem was that his opponent was that much better than him, as a fully firing Federer ultimately came up trumps to seal a record-equalling seventh triumph at SW19.

In the post-match on-court interviews, a tearful Murray paid homage to the rapturous home support: “Everybody always talks about the pressure of playing at Wimbledon, but it’s not the people watching – they make it incredible.”

In prophetic fashion, Murray ended his chat with Sue Barker with a wry grin: “At least I’m getting closer. Hopefully it’ll come next year.”

Nick Gabriel

“AGUEROOOOOO” Sports fans alike are enthralled by the excitement of a tightly-contested match, even more so if the match’s winner is crowned champion.

However, that excitement can quickly turn into shock when, in a blink of an eye, the result which a team was celebrating matters no longer.

In the 2011 - 2012 Barclays Premier League season, Manchester City won their first Premier League title and their first top division title in 44 years by goal difference over Manchester United, but it is the manner in which they did it that causes unforgettable heartbreak, solely for those in Red anyway.

With 6 matches left in the season, United were ahead of City by 8 points, with the title seemingly done and dusted, remaining in Old Trafford for an-

“COLLYMORE CLOSING IN...”

This game is widely considered by pundits and neutrals as the greatest in Premier League history, even if Newcastle fans think differently.

Played midweek in front of the Sky Sports cameras, this game was breathtaking. Liverpool possessed the clinical finishing of Robbie Fowler and the creativity of John Barnes. On the other were the entertainers of Newcastle United, including the lighting quick David Ginola and crazy Colombian superstar, Faustino Asprilla, whose off the pitch exploits made Mario Balotelli look dull.

After a poor March, Newcastle had fallen behind Manchester United at the top, despite holding a 12 point lead over them in January. However, a win would draw them level with a game in hand on their rivals.

The Geordies started disastrously with Fowler heading home after two minutes. Nevertheless, Newcastle hit back

with Les Ferdinand and Ginola scoring in quick succession to put them in front after 15 minutes. The rest of the half remained open with neither team converting their opportunities and Liverpool had to wait until 55 minutes to equalize with Fowler again tucking a chance away. Once again though Newcastle responded, with Tino sublimely finishing past David James with the outside of the boot just before the hour mark. In characteristic fashion, Newcastle didn’t sit back and instead drove forward. Ferdinand missed a chance and Liverpool hit back with Stan Collymore netting, making it 3-3 with 25 minutes to go.

Drawing the match would have still given Newcastle a chance at the Championship and manager Kevin Keegan uncharacteristically made a change at the back to tighten up the defence with Steve Howey replacing Darren Peacock.

A tearful Murrey gestures after being beaten in the final Photography: Getty Images

The substitution looked to have been successful; Newcastle dominated play in the last 25 minutes and looked less likely to concede. Typically, though, the game had one last twist left in it. In stoppage time Newcastle attacked, desperate to score and lost the ball on the halfway line. Liverpool countered, slickly opening up the Newcastle defence. Barnes received the ball on the edge of the box and played in Collymore who duly smashed the ball home, sparking scenes of jubilation for the Liverpool players and fans and utter despair for Newcastle. Keegan had his head in his hands knowing his team’s title dreams were swiftly vanishing. After this heartbreak Newcastle wanted revenge the following season at Anfield. Typically, they again lost 4-3, conceding another stoppage time goal. It’s never easy supporting Newcastle.

Liam Ramshaw

other season.

However, a defeat and a draw by United meant that Manchester City could narrow the gap to 3 points and they managed just that with three consecutive wins. As Man City defeated Man Utd 1 - 0 and with both teams winning their penultimate league match, it was all down to the final match day of the season.

Going into this final match of the season, Manchester United were to play Sunderland at the Stadium of Light and Manchester City had to face Queen Park Rangers. City ahead on goal difference and United requiring a win, Wayne Rooney provided the perfect start for the Red Devils.

That joy was short-lived as a Man City goal meant the teams were once again

equal on points with Man City on top.

As the games winded down, Man City were looking in a precarious state.

QPR had a player sent off but managed to take a 2-1 lead with 24 minutes to go, meaning that City would have to score 2 goals to complete one of the greatest comebacks in Premier League history. Edin Dzeko equalised in the second minute of stoppage time, with the United players ready for the trophy presentation in Sunderland.

However, Sergio Aguero scores a lastgasp winner with the final kick of the game and against all odds, Man City won the title on goal difference. A truly exhilarating end to a great season of football, once again proving that in the world of sports, miracles do happen.

Huezin Lim

Collymore slams home the late winner past Newcastle goalkeeper Pavel Srnicek Photography: Getty Images

The Courier

intramuralsport.37

Monday 2 December 2013

“GOD IS BULGARIAN” Many say football is the greatest game on Earth, and there is certainly reason to with stories like this.

Nineteen years ago USA was to host the first ever World Cup on the continent, so while in the end of 1993 some were already looking forward to the hottest ever American summer, France had to seal the deal in front of their own demanding crowd.

With two more home games to come, ‘Les Bleus’ needed just an easy win against bottom-placed Israel or a point against the challenging Bulgarians to guarantee themselves a spot in the Finals.

But although they took a 2-1 lead, the hosts were stunned by the Israeli outsiders, who made a startling comeback with less than 10 minutes left in regulation time.

Substitute Eyal Berkovich scored in the 83rd minute, before Reuven Atar hit the winner two minutes into injury

time. Meanwhile, in order to get on the plane to the US, Bulgaria had to hope for the impossible to happen. And it did.

On the rainy evening of 17th November, the national “Parc du Prince” stadium witnessed one of the most memorable matches in history. Led by Hristo Stoichkov, the Bulgarian squad was battling against all the odds for the three points and a qualifying spot in the World Cup. Meanwhile France, who had been demoted from first in the group, needed at least a draw to advance.

The hosts took the lead on the half hour mark thanks to a trademark volley form Eric Cantona and the French nation breathed a sigh of relief.

However, the equalizer came in just six minutes when Emil Kostadinov struck a header into the back of the net.

With the last minute of the game ticking away, David Ginola attempted to

cross the ball to Eric Cantona, but instead the ball landed in the feet of rightback Emil Kremenliev who then found Lyuboslav Penev who chipped it beautifully over the French defenders to find Emil Kostadinov.

With an exquisite first touch, a steadying second, and a lethal third, the striker unleashed a violent blast past Bernard Lama.

“God is Bulgarian!” famously shouted the Bulgarian commentator Nikolai Kolev in a moment of delirium. And while France was drowning in tears, his compatriots were heading to the USA. In the summer of 1994, they went on to slaughter the reigning world champion Germany in the quarter-finals.

Despite a loss from Italy, Bulgaria finished fourth and grabbed the bronze medals. And in their eyes they were more valuable than the Brazilians’ golden ones.

Peter Georgiev

“HARMISON HAS DONE IT”

Whatever happens in the Ashes series currently going on Down Under, it is unlikely to eclipse the drama of the 2005 edition. This is not only because 2005 marked the return of the urn to England for the first time since 1987, but also due to the nature of the tests themselves which were some of the most iconic in cricketing history.

The drama reached a high point on the fifth day of the second test at Edgbaston.

With Australia having taken the first game at Lords, the English team knew that a victory was vital to get them back in the series. They looked on target to achieve their aim when the last pair of Australian batsmen came together needing 62 runs to win.

Things then began to go badly wrong for England as Brett Lee and Michael Kasprowicz got stuck into the home side’s bowling attack, taking Australia to

Flintoff consoles a distraught Brett Lee after the 2005 Edgbaston test Photography: Getty Images

David Ginola was heavily castigated at the time for giving the ball away in the build up to Bulgaria’s second goal Photography: Getty Images

the brink of a victory that would have all but ensured that they retained the Ashes yet again.

The previously jubilant Birmingham crowd began to grow quiet as the visitors edged towards an improbable victory. The giant scoreboard that had proclaimed “England require one wicket” now began to count down the runs which Australia required to win.

Things came to a head as the unpredictable Steve Harmison came in to bowl to Kasprowicz with the Australians needing just three runs for victory.

At this point, England captain Michael Vaughan had no choice but to go with an attacking field setting meaning that, with the pace of Harmison, any decent connection of bat and ball would result in an Australian win.

Harmison elected to bang the ball in short and it leapt off the unpredictable

fifth day wicket. This surprised Kasprowicz who could only glove the ball down the leg side to a diving Geraint Jones who took the catch cleanly. Wild celebrations ensued amongst the English players and spectators, but perhaps the more spectacular image was the Australian batsmen who were left distraught in the centre of the pitch. Their mammoth effort had brought them agonisingly close to a famous victory.

To make things worse, it transpired that Kasprowicz’s hand was actually fractionally off the bat when it made contact with the ball meaning that he shouldn’t have actually been given out.

With the current DRS system the Aussies may well have won the test, but as it was they were made to suffer one of the worst heartbreaks in sport.

Freddie Caldwell

Historians hold off Hockey Intramural Netball Uni Hockey History Girlies

9 14

By Francesca Fitzsimmons Following a clinical start to the season, Uni hockey had the opportunity to increase the deficit and the hold they had over the Tuesday league table.

History Girlies, on the other hand, had a less than promising start in the 4-5 slot, having just won 3 out of 6 matches. The Sports Hall was set for an upset.

Rebecca Allister had an impressive start, with tactical passes throughout the court and switching the swing of play. Shooter, Kat Allen slotted goal after goal and made the most of Uni hockey’s early sprees of possession.

Jayne McLougjlin maintained her composure, and battled against a

strong defensive back two for History Girlies who seemed to have her picked out to mark. A flourishing start to the game saw Uni Hockey control the play through the middle of the court and on centre passes. It was History Girlies however who fought tooth and nail to make sure every pass was charged down and to force the turn over.

History Girlies made the most of their early possession from forced turnovers, and played it into their attacking circle for their talented forwards to steal advantage and slot the goals in.

in desperate attempts to stop History Girlies from attacking the circle once more.

Hannah Cooper worked hard with Rosie Griffin to maintain composure and valiantly disregard historic shooting opportunities.

Despite the one sided nature of the second half, Uni Hockey’s competitive opening fifteen meant they had a three goal deficit to play with. This was soon lost, unfortunately, with History Girlies maintained their composure and converted each attacking opportunity.

History Girlies made the most of their early possession from forced turnovers and played it into the attacking circle to convert With the whistle signifying the end of the first half, History Girlies just about had the edge and the momentum as they restarted after the break.

Steph Booth did her best to hold the attacking wing out of play, marking tightly from the whistle. Surprisingly quick dodging from History Girlies left Uni Hockey scrambling and come steaming down court, making fouls

Jen Haslam had a stand out performance for Uni Hockey as her pace and passing precision, especially in one notable defensive play, allowed Uni hockey time to reset and dismiss an attacking opportunity.

Falling short of History Girlies goal count at 12-9, Kat Allen tried her luck from the edge of the circle in an attempt to convert a brave shot and close the

deficit. As it circled the rim, Uni Hockey watched in dismay as the ball fell out of the hoop and into the hands of the History Girlies’ defence. With two minutes left, the Historians played the ball mechanically through the court and slotted in a not so unlucky 13th goal.

Thirty seconds were left on the clock as History Girlies took the final centre pass, playing a looping ball into the hands of the goal attack, who textbookly bounced passed the ball through the scrambling hands of Uni Hockey to reach the goal shooter. The shot was

calmly slipped through the net to end the match with a 14-9 victory to History Girlies.

An uncharacteristic loss for Uni Hockey, and one they hope to forget as then face Combined Honours in next weeks clash.

With the Agrics losing also, some pressure will be relieved at the top of the table, but only wins from here on into the season will be enough if Uni Hockey hope to retain the Intra Mural title for the third year running.

Man of the Match: Jen Haslam

Tuesday 4-5pm Team

Pld

W

D

L

F

A

Pts

1

Accounting Netball

7

6

1

0

134

69

26

2

Uni Hockey

7

5

1

1

110

78

22

3

Pollies Dollies

7

4

0

3

105

79

16

4

CHS 1

7

4

0

3

82

86

16

5

HIstory Girlies

7

3

0

4

81

78

12

6

Geogsoc

7

2

0

5

64

96

8

7

Newcastle Nanny Goats

6

0

0

6

39

99

0

38.sportbucs

Monday 2 December 2013

The Courier

Firsts suffer unfortunate loss Rugby Union

Newcastle 1sts

13

Loughborough 1sts

26

By Jonty Mawer at Cochrane Park Disappointment will have been the foremost emotion in the home dressing room after this week’s loss to Loughborough, which will have been made even more difficult to swallow considering how close the game was. Indeed, if it were not for some devastating back play by an impeccably drilled away side, the result may have been very different.

The opening exchanges were immensely encouraging for Newcastle, displaying really promising signs of improvement from the previous weeks.

They seemed calm and collected on the ball, allowing fly half, George Cullen to dictate the direction of play; in the early minutes Newcastle seemed certain to score.

They were playing with real intent, resulting in yet another score for the Captain, Beckett, in the corner after a probing grubber from centre Ben Perkins. This added another try to the leftwinger’s already impressive season tally.

The successful conversion by Cullen from the corner flag, therefore, crowned a dream start for the home side.

They were clearly playing with the momentum; Newcastle’s back row was superior at the break down, causing Loughborough to give away penalty after penalty. They were resolved to making full use of this fluidity, pressing Loughborough back into their own half and diminishing any chance of a retali-

atory score. After some solid phase play, Newcastle were eventually awarded a penalty in kicking distance of the sticks.

Cullen stepped up and slotted it with consummate ease, giving his team a 10-point lead and therefore a pertinent advantage in the match.

Newcastle seemed irrevocably dominant; whereas in previous weeks, their discipline at the ruck and open play had been poor. This week, they conducted themselves with renewed accuracy. In fact, it was Loughborough who were becoming increasingly lapse, causing their captain to receive a stern warning from the referee. For all intents and purposes, it seemed, Newcastle had their sights set on pushing home their advantage and increasing the points deficit between them and their opponents.

Loughborough, however, were managing to claw their way back into the contest. Despite their lack of territory, their early innocuousness in defence was fading, gradually winning more contests at the breakdown. It was however a piece of individual brilliance from one of the Loughborough backs which ultimately signalled their arrival; a barnstorming run from the inside Centre, from inside his own half, initiated a stringing together of several phases of fluid back play, eventually culminating in a try under the sticks to the away team. The apparent ease with which Loughborough managed to score sent a signal to both players and spectators alike, that the away side was here to play.

Furthermore, this try seemed to herald a change in momentum within the contest. In contrast to the early exchanges, Newcastle were now doggedly defending their own line, desperately trying to avoid another Loughborough try. Unfortunately, however, this was not possible as the visitors touched down for their second converted score, amassing a 4-point lead heading towards the break.

Newcastle needed points, not an easy objective to accomplish without possession. Moreover, as the half went on, more Newcastle players seemed to go down with injuries. Hooker, Hamish Atkinson, and inside centre, Ben Perkins, suffered match-ending knocks, causing them both to leave the field early - detrimental to the team dynamic. The team’s captain, Jo Beckett, also went off due to a wrist injury, causing other senior players to have to step into the breach.

Although they seemed somewhat weakened in terms of personnel, Newcastle were still intent on salvaging the game. Cullen, managed to cleanly strike a penalty from the opposition 22, cutting the gap to just one with only a few minutes of the half left.

Loughborough retaliated almost immediately with a try; a piece of individual skill from their Number 10 allowed him to evade the flailing Newcastle defence and eventually score just to the left of the uprights. Despite the missed conversion attempt, Newcastle were still 6 points behind notwithstanding their brilliant start to the game.

The lay of the land at half time as such that Newcastle needed to score early on in the second half if they were to avoid defeat. In spite of their tremendous opening 20-minute spell, they were undoubtedly behind and therefore were in desperate need of points. Injuries had no doubt played their part, however if a victory was to be achieved, they would need to surpass such impediments.

Without doubt, this was a truly mammoth task that befell them.

As the second half progressed, the game became more and more fractured with both teams doing their utmost to disrupt the flow of the other. The weather conditions also began to play their part as the pervading wind sweeping across the pitch became infinitely more violent.

This made any kicks from the tee in-

Newcastle’s dominance in set plays wasn’t enough against Loughborough.

Photography: Jonty Mawer

creasingly difficult; George Cullen was unable to complete either of his penalty attempts from far out entailing Loughborough’s lead to stay as it was.

Despite their best efforts to the contrary, Newcastle simply could do nothing to stave off the onslaught of the Loughborough backline, triggering the hammer blow to be dealt in the shape of another try. Unfortunately there was now no way back for the home side.

Ultimately, despite their spirited start,

Newcastle was not strong enough to win the game. Injuries in key positions were critical, however Loughborough’s execution at game changing moments was the real difference between the two teams. Newcastle, now on a four game losing streak, will be thoroughly disheartened, especially in terms of their form earlier on in the season. Lets all hope they can dust themselves down sufficiently enough to come back with renewed vigor for next week’s game.

Basketball back to winning ways

Women’s Basketball Newcastle 1sts

65

Glasgow 1sts

55

By Rosie Wowk at the Sports Centre After surrendering their unbeaten streak to UCLAN the previous week, the Newcastle Knights approached their first Cup game of the season with caution, and the hope of advancing to the quarterfinals. The leg numbing training sessions paid off, as the Scottish Division One giants, Glasgow, proved an easy conquest for Newcastle, as swept them aside with a 10-point deficit.

From the first whistle, the Newcastle ladies were hungry for the ball. In man to man defence, quick feet and communication proved a winning combination as Glasgow passed the ball involuntarily around the three-point line, unable to penetrate middle. Severely lacking in height but springy on her feet, point guard, Anne Haeeis, leaped in the air for a defensive rebound as the away side took forced three-pointers unconvincingly. Back into Newcastle possession, Heiaas passed the ball down the middle into the waiting hands of The Ga-

zelle, Julia Lovas, who took one stride from the three-point line to secure the Knights the first points. Neck in neck, both teams hit consecutive baskets.

Everything was to play for as Newcastle finished the first quarter with a minor one point lead.

pecting Glaswegian and executing the lay-up to set up a score. Glasgow made yet more fouls on defence and MaryCaitlin ‘MK’ King was sent to the line to convert easy points for the Geordie side, as she sustained her perfect freethrow streak.

Pregnolato and the uncaged Tognarelli.

Newcastle will now advance into the next stage of the Division One Confernce Cup, with yet more Scottish teams to play.

Back in the league, The Knights con-

Dani Maloney hustled hard on the zone defence, stealing the ball from an unsuspecting Glaswegian and executing the lay-up perfectly to set up a score Peter Pan’s greatest nemesis, Laura Tognarelli, set the standard for the second quarter, as she performed a difficult dribble into the key, finishing with an accurate hook-shot. Great movement around the court allowed, Izzy ‘I’m not drinking much tonight’ Johns, to be left wide open on the wing for an uncontested three. In desperation for the ball, the Glaswegian gargoyle smashed The Gazelle into the back wall, leaving her free to take two shots from the line. Fantastic defence and well executed plays paid off for the home team as they took a ten point lead at the end of the half.

The Knights continued their sterling effort on defence, as Wonder Woman, Dani Maloney, hustled hard on the zone defence, stealing the ball from an unsus-

Newcastle were forced to work extra hard, with Glasgow initiating a threatening press. Team work from new PhD student, Maria Pregnolato and Heiaas, fooled the away side as quick passes from the point guards allowed them to break the press, finishing the quarter on a high.

The tally of fouls held by Newcastle, left star players, Tognarelli and Maloney, warming the bench at the close of the game. Glasgow used this to their advantage as they pushed to chase the Knights score, finishing some impressive drives through the key.

Wanting to keep the cup dreams alive for injured veteran, Rosie Wowk, the girls made final effort to pull back the score with points from The Gazelle,

A Newcastle Knight sinks a free throw Photography: Rosie Wowk

tinue with their quest to win back their position at the top of the table.

Next week they take on recent opponents, Manchester, in which they will use this game to secure a hefty point difference.

The Courier

sportbucs.39

Monday 2 December 2013

Rapid BUCS success for canoe Canoe Club

By Angus Mackay in Yorkshire It may have been the coldest weekend of the winter so far, but NUCC rise to success as BUCS. The 23rd and 24th of November saw NU Canoe Club keep it flat to the mat at the annual BUCCS Wild Water Racing (WWR) championships on the river Washburn in Yorkshire. The team of 26 competitors achieved second overall, fighting off stiff competition from Loughborough and Nottingham Trent; as well as team GB paddlers.

The weekend started on Friday night as the team arrived at the boatshed to pack all the boats and the repair kit – the weekend is hard on boats as well as competitors and much Duct tape would be needed before the weekend was over.

Having feasted on luke-warm pizza in Sainsburys en-route, the team arrived at Harrogate scout hut in the pitch black at 21.00. First job was to take several boats into the hut to be repaired, because as they are of carbon fibre construction they suffer at the hands of rocks and trees on the rivers. This was the first opportunity since training to repair them as the club is fully student run and operated.

WWR is a difficult competition to

compete in on several levels. Saturday in particular is a very long day with some competitors on the water from 0800 to 1600, coupled with the sub-zero temperatures and fear of a boat capsizing. Under these conditions racing at peak performance is a big ask but one that Newcastle rose up to admirably.

Saturday Morning dawned cold and fresh with a thick layer of frost over all the boats and kit. A hearty meal of porridge, prepared by the team’s resident cook and social secretary Naomi Brown, was enjoyed by all before giving it full bore down to the Washburn to be on the water for 0800.

Practice runs were done by those who wanted to – a real help for anyone who needed refresher in the Canadian disciplines or hadn’t made it onto the course in training. Chris Barret, team head Coach, was also able to talk people through the best line down the course – to avoid capsizing. Kayaking only requires one double-ended paddle, while Canadian uses a single bladed paddle with the paddler in a kneeling rather than sitting position, making it a much harder version of the sport.

Day 1 - Saturday The first day sees the classic course, 9 minutes of continuous grade 2 white water with a grade 3 drop. There are several classes, K1 (kayaking) and C1 and C2 (Canadian) disciplines with

Royals ease past Liverpool to keep cup dream alive Women’s Football Newcastle 1sts

2

L’pool John Moore 2nds

0

By Claudia Wilson at Longbenton The tension of a cup-tie hung in the air this Wednesday as Newcastle University Women’s Football first team took to the pitch to take on Liverpool’s John Moore University.

Winter sun streamed down as the starting whistle blew. Newcastle started with vigour and showed their dynamism on the ball, zipping passes between the Liverpool players. The midfield bounced passes beautifully across the pitch.

Mabel Beckett initiated the opening goal by slotting a masterful through ball to Esme Richards, who fired the ball into the net with precision, composure and confidence.

Elated by this first goal, NUWFC continued to show their dominance. Katie Fisher held her ground in central midfield, preventing the Liverpool from gaining any territory.

There were some peachy plays down the right hand side between Lucy Crann, Claudia Wilson, Zoe Rutter and Mabel Beckett but the Newcastle girls failed to capitalise on their attacks.

Lucy Crann capitalised on Newcastle’s relentless pressure however, and

broke through the Liverpool defence and powered down the right wing. Lucy steamed down the line and slipped a sensational shot past the bamboozled keeper, giving Newcastle a 2-0 lead. The two-goal cushion appeared to get to the heads of the Newcastle players and they began to sit back on their laurels. Liverpool started to pressurise NUWFC and cracks started to show in the backline.

However, Newcastle hung on and thanks to some heroic defensive play from Katie McBrinn and Immy Ewbank, along with the fullbacks, Newcastle held Liverpool off until half-time.

NUWFC seemed to gain some energy after half time and started the second half with slightly more bounce in their boots.

Helen Knott lit up the left-hand side of the pitch with her dazzling dribbles down the wing. Unfortunately Newcastle could not get on the end of the crosses that she had been curling into the box.

Richards also was toying cruelly with Liverpool’s defence and running utter rings around them. Richards managed to fire in some shots, but due to decent saves from the keeper, these were denied.

Liverpool had a couple of counterattacks in the second half, but did little to worry Newcastle’s keeper, Sofia Hernnas, who managed to defend her net well.

The final whistle blew and Newcastle finished with a 2-0 lead and a spot in the next round of the cup.

Man of the match: Helen Knott

one or two people in a boat, as well K1 teams and mixed teams of three or more paddlers. Each category is fiercely competitive; however K1 has by far the most entrants and is the mostly hotly competed. WWR Captain Annabel Hosking excelled in K1 coming 3rd out of 80 entrants. Phil Mitchell also did well ranking a solid 11th.

There were also good C2 runs from Phil Mitchell and George Arnold making 2nd and Angus Mackay and Matt Lane coming in 8th. Craysten Renner, a fresher to the world of WWR put in a solid K1 time that put him into the first team – an indication of good things to come next year!

Saturday night saw the team head across to the pub for dinner. Most people returned to the scout hut by 1000, exhausted and achey by the days competing. Matt Lane and George Arnold took themselves for a night out – something they somewhat regretted at 0700 the following morning.

Day 2- Sunday Sunday is the sprint: 2 minutes of white water. The team arrived an hour early in order to prepare and be ready to go as soon as the course opened, which it paid off as Phil Mitchell came 8th and Annabel Hosking 7th in their respective K1 classes. The team really excelled in C2 though, with Matt Lane and Angus achieving 3rd and George

Silver medallists Phil Mitchell and George Arnold Photography: Angus Mackay

Arnold and Phil Mitchell seizing 2nd.

This really helped push the team up the overall rankings. The C2 crews on both days did exceptionally well considering C2 is not a discipline that the team really trains for so such good results are a direct result of the give-it-a-go attitude and giving it big licks.

Thanks must go out to all those who competed, completing the course means a point towards winning the competition – so those who got back in

boats after swimming repeatedly must be commended for their persistence.

Chris Barret the head coach was a key player, organising the team from the top of the river while Ryan Gilligan ferried people from bottom to top. Without him and his morale-boosting Top Gun CD Newcastle would have been unable to compete!

Undoubtedly, next year the team aims to return stronger and better ready to win the competition.

Newcastle dig York Men’s Volleyball Newcastle 1sts

3

York 1sts

1

By Peter Georgiev at the Sports Centre Just six black jerseys arrived to represent York’s 2nd in their Northern Conference Cup clash against Newcastle’s 1st on Wednesday. And it was those six men who walked off the Sports Hall with their heads down after suffering a loss in only the first round of the competition.

Even after the warm-up was clear the visiting side weren’t to pose any threat to the favourites. Newcastle wrapped up a quick 3-1 (25:8, 25:17, 21:25, 25:11) victory, only really troubled in the third set.

Coached by star Attila Berndt, the hosts had their confidence boosters injected for an impressive start of the first set. Kahwing Fung and Captain AlShafai smashed a few balls past York’s helpless double-block to open the game with a 5-1 edge. Without a single win, the guests were lying unconscious at the bottom of Northern 3B group before the match.

Their shaking hands tried to receive Newcastle’s floating serves, but instead sent the ball way out of bounds. Pablo Fernando spiked for the second time at 12-5, before setter Iriguchi made it 16-5 with the sweetest of touches. Eventually, substitute Onoriode Esegbue came in to rifle the ball into the ground for a 1-0 advantage.

So far, York had scored only 8 points, 6 of which came after Newcastle’s service errors. But the guests performed much

better in the second set after taking a 0-3 lead. The Royals answered with a sudden 4-4 recover and the heat was turned on. Both teams kept up with each other point-by-point until Simone de Ioanna - Dajo and Gian Montevecchi combined forces to block at 16-13.

Another blast from Esegbue pushed it to 19-14, followed by Wouter Huiting’s finisher. Riding the wave of momentum, the Netherlander sent the ball down the line to grab a 25-17 bulge.

Newcastle continued the march to a straight set, going in front 5-1 in the third. Montevecchi received a perfect lay-off from Iriguchi and struck it under York’s feet at 11-7. After the traditional loss of concentration, the hosts found themselves dropping behind 1418. Berndt called for a time-out, but the streak continued to 17-22. Even York

weren’t expecting to get something out of the game, but they claimed the third set, 21-25, and forced Newcastle to close the game in the fourth set.

Filled with fear, the guests’ eyes were pointed at Attila Berndt, when he took off his sweatshirt to come to his team’s rescue.

The 24-old Hungarian had an immediate impact on the result, serving exquisitely six times in a row – 6-4. He unleashed another one at 14-8 and got Newcastle back on tracks.

York stopped offering any resistance after another marvellous block from Montevecchi. In the end, it was Dajo’s decider, which put an end to their misery. Newcastle advance to the last 16, where The Blues will host a superb clash against Bangor’s 1st on 12 February.

A Newcastle player prepares to spike the ball Photography: Zhulien Genev

Sport

www.thecourieronline.co.uk Monday 2 December 2013 Issue 1282 Free

thecourieronline.co.uk/sport

Sports Editors: Nick Gabriel, Freddie Caldwell and Fran Fitzsimmons courier.sport@ncl.ac.uk | @Courier_Sport

CANOE CLUB CONQUER BUCS p.39

YORK USELESS

Volleyballers dominant p.39 THE SAD SIDE OF SPORT Biggest sporting heartache p.36

Three-sy does it for Uni Women’s Hockey Newcastle 2nds

3

Leeds 3rds

0

By Amy Ferguson at Longbenton On the morning of Wednesday 27th November, having said a sad goodbye to Carb-loading Tuesday for another week once again, Jen Emerson’s barmy army arrived with high spirits at their home ground on Coach lane, ready to face Leeds Met 3rd team in the Northern Conference Cup. Us NULHC 2s knew that we were playing at a standard that was promising but was not our best, during a slightly uneventful first half.

There were moments of higher intensity and opportunities were created in the D - very often by the famously determined Green-stick-Greenstein, who sent a lot of passes just wide of the oppositions’ goalposts. Nonetheless, the score remained 0-0 at half time.

Leeds Met were particularly strong in their press- so much so that even the likes of Kathryn Roberts and Sophie Mason were under pressure at times.

Another reason for this though, was that many of us were and still are, yet to rival Viki Monk in her inspirational ability to keep sprinting around excit-

edly without the need of a break.

During what was arguably the most stressful moment in the game, goalkeeper Coops pulled out a wondrous save when the ball had been heading towards the bottom left-hand corner of the home team’s goal, at a threatening pace. With little avail thus far, we remain hopeful that #coolasacoop-umber will be catching on soon.

Lou Harris received her 2nd green card of the season, this time for her ambitious attempt at controlling a fast-

moving ball at an altitude that might have sent Becky Lear into a spiral of recurring nosebleeds. Thankfully Lou’s spirits were not dampened by this, and enthusiastic shouts of “lovely ball!” could still be heard across the pitch at the usual frequency.

Cara Bell contributed significantly to one of Jess Reus’ two goals when she crossed it to Jess in the D having skilfully pulled her signature move multiple times up the left wing.

For those of you hoping that I am

about to describe Cara’s move now, I can only suggest that you pop over to Longbenton Sports ground this Saturday for as Mark Twain once said: “Actions speak louder than words.”

Back to the match…following Cara’s pass, Jess sent the ball hurtling at the backboard with a resounding onomatopoeia, and her next goal where she flicked it high past the keeper after dribbling it into the D, was no less exciting than the first.

Our other goal was scored by team defence’s very own Sophie Mason. She reacted quickly to a rebound from the goalie, following a short corner that she had injected herself.

After a few good-humoured one-twos with said goalie, Sophie decided to calmly slip it past her eventually, which led to a more comfortable 3-0 making an appearance on our score sheet.

Unofficial reports seem to suggest that Manchester United’s disheartened squad had found hope in the news of our cup game win with the absence of Caroline MacMillan, and were subsequently victorious against Bayer Leverkusen in the Champions League regardless of Robin Van Persie’s ongoing injury.

Player of the Match: Jess Reus

The 1sts X1 also extended their cup run with a 4-0 win against Durham 3s. Unfortunately, the 4s suffered a narrow defeat against Liverpool 2nds.

Photography: Getty Images

RUGBY ROCKED A series of unfortunate injuries for 1sts p.38

UN-LUCKY HOCKEY Girlies go down in history p.37