The Courier 1256

www.thecourieronline.co.uk Monday 29 October 2012 Issue 1256 Free

AYE, THIS IS HALLOWEEN PET FEATURES P.16-17

GRUESOME EYES GHOULISH ON GORGEOUS THE PRIZE

Fashion shoot, p.18-19 Music, p.35

INTO Disgraced Jimmy Welcome your £74 million erased from Great new building North Run history

By George Sandeman News Editor

By Aine Stott Online News Editor The man police have described as “a predatory sex offender” has been withdrawn from The Great North Run Hall of Fame following the unprecedented scale of the child abuse scandal.

Inducted into the Hall of Fame in 2009, Savile has previously been described on the Nova website as a “universally popular” figure who was “recognised for the vast contribution he has made, particularly with the highly popular junior runs.”

Savile began his career in the North East in the 1960s on Tyne Tees tel“There has evision and, fifty never been any years later, it is the East which suggestion of North has taken steps untoward to disassociate themselves from behaviour him by removing occurring all traces of him between Savile from The Great North Run weband anybody site. else at our David Hart, events” communications director at international race organisers Nova, stated: ‘There has never been any suggestion of untoward behaviour occurring between Savile and anybody else at any of our events. However we took the measure out of respect of public opinion surrounding Mr. Savile. We are waiting for the conclusion of the police investigation before taking any further action.”

He added: “Due to the extremely disturbing allegations, one option in the future could be to have his Hall Of Fame Award rescinded entirely”.

His benevolent reputation has been destroyed since the screening of an ITV documentary. continued on page 4

The new £74 million INTO centre and adjoining halls of residence opened it’s doors for the first time this semester.

Speaking to The Courier, centre director Kevin Conroy talked about what INTO does and what he hopes the centre will achieve.

Explaining the work they do, he said: “INTO is a centre for international students that offers a whole range of preparatory courses.

They have a 50-50 revenue sharing agreement, along with a lease agreement, regarding the University land upon which the new INTO complex is built. The new buildings were financed

by INTO through “the usual bank arrangements and over time we’ll pay the loan down.”

Officially started in the spring of 2007, with the first intake in September 2007, this year sees start of their sixth year on campus with over 650 students enrolled on full-time courses for Semester 1.

The University maintains academic

“Preparation for undergraduate and postgraduate as well as a suite of remedial English courses to help students get up to the required standard.”

“A lot of [the programme] is settling in because even if they are academically qualified to do the full undergraduate programme, it’s quite a big step to come over here from the other side of the world, no problem and hit the ground running.

“I don’t think it is that easy. We do a lot of study skills and settling in to help them understand what it is like to be a fully fledged student in the UK and in Newcastle.”

“We also give students coming from many Southeast Asian countries, who don’t get their results until November, an option as to whether they want to wait a whole year before starting their undergraduate programme or come to Newcastle straight away and do a preparatory academic course whilst also settling into the city.”

The project is a joint venture between the University and the INTO University Partnerships company creating a private-public partnership that classifies the INTO centre as a higher education institution.

control over the standards, programmes and curriculum run by the INTO centre but, with the advent of the new building, nearly all of the academic courses are taught in the centre.

Teaching the students are a staff of 130, all employed by INTO, with the programmes run in the same fashion as the rest of the University in terms of delivery and administration.

Discussing the conversion rates of INTO students making it on to University programmes, Conroy explained: INTO is a centre “It varies from subject to subject for interna... it varies betional students tween say 60%, 75%, with one that offers a programme at whole range 88%. Two things of preparatory drive that - one is, does the student courses reach the required academic standard for Newcastle; do they make the grade?

“The second thing is that if the individual student wants to go on to the University and some, for a variety of reasons, want to go somewhere else. continued on page 6

INTO and the University have a 50-50 revenue sharing agreement, along with a lease agreement, regarding the land upon which the new complex is built

Alleged paedophile Savile last made the front page of The Courier back in September 2000 with a guest appearance at The Great North Run, who have now severed ties amid the recent scandal

News

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NEWS

NFEN PROTESTS

Last week’s protest on campus over a new monitoring scheme

SELL YOURSELF

Brazilian student auctions off her virginity for $780,000

4 6

COMMENT

11 10 SPORT

BNP-REJUDICE Discussion over the recent Nick Griffin scandal

US ELECTIONS Four different students voice where they stand

45 47

ELITE ATHLETES Interview with the sports stars of tomorrow

SHAME FOR SURFERS

Inderwick robbed of surfing glory

Monday 29 October 2012

The Courier

News Editors: George Sandeman, Susie May Beever and Anna Templeton Online News Editor: Aine Stott courier.news@ncl.ac.uk | @TheCourier_News

Library renovation sees Robinson go 24/7 and introduce brand new tech wizardry

By George Sandeman News Editor Visitors to the Robinson Library this year will have found themselves enjoying the fruits of the newly finished £2 million improvement that has been implemented over the last two years.

With the library now open 24/7 during term time, visitors will also have found 650 extra power points, 300 partitioned individual study spaces, 135 additional fixed PCs, two new silent study areas and dedicated library search touch screens featuring QR codes.

Explaining the new developments, University Librarian Wayne Connolly said: “We are very much aware that

was that people wanted quiet, individual study space. The spaces are clearly partitioned to reduce noise and chatter but on levels three and four we also installed acoustic baffling in the ceiling to dampen any noise that is produced.”

Responding as to whether they had looked at the work of other libraries, Connolly, the Keeper of the Pybus Collection, said: “A lot of architecturally interesting things have happened with some amazing buildings put up in the last few years but we deliberately took the view that we needed to find out what students wanted and respond very directly to that rather than going out and trying to build something flashy.

“And in the report the two students

650 extra power points, 300 partitioned individual study spaces, 135 additional fixed PCs, 2 new silent study areas and library search touch screens featuring QR codes the library gets very crowded at certain times of the year and there is an increasing demand each year for more study space as more people come through the library doors each year.”

“People come here because they want to study so the increase in study space is a response to demand as is the increase in the number of fixed PCs. We’ve also put power points at every desk on levels three and four to make it easier for people with their own laptops and mobile devices to get work done.”

“Another concern students brought to us was noise and the difficulty in being able to work quietly and effectively, which is what people want to do here.

So, in replacing the furniture on levels three and four we have gone for individual, contained study spaces to make it possible to work quietly without being disturbed.

“The problem was obvious to us in that people were coming up and telling us that it was too noisy but what was also really important to us in the process was that we commissioned two students at the beginning of last year, one PhD student and one second year marketing student to try and achieve a balance, to produce some research for us by interviewing students and going to other places on campus where students were working and running focus groups to find out what people wanted from us.

“They produced a report that really became the basis of what we’ve worked to and the very clear message from it

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did for us, students gave us a clear message that they didn’t want highly designed, over extensive facilities. What they wanted was something practical, livable and somewhere they could work in so we took our cues from that.”

Discussing new technological developments incorporated into the library, Connolly said: “The new library search function, which has replaced the old library catalogue, is something we’ve been developing over the last year or so which, what it does for the first time, is bring together information about the printed material we have with information about the ebooks and electronic journals we have and put them all together in a single place in a much more intuitive and easy way including Two students embedding QR were hired to codes.

“This provides carry out redirect links to relsearch asking evant ebooks and students what ejournals as well as to the relevant they wanted where from the library bookshelf the printed book which became is kept.” the basis for The Robinson refurbishment Library are also no strangers to technological success after winning the Outstanding Library Team at the 2011 Times Higher Education Awards. Discussing the event, Connolly said: “It’s quite a big deal, it was a big deal for us considering there are usually around

TECH-TASTIC The new library search service integrates information about print, ebook and ejournal materials for the first time Photo: George Sandeman

200 potential entrants for the library team award.”

“The criteria for the award usually centres around support for students, innovative uses of technology and innovative ways of using print and electronic media together, how do you make the material accessible and how do you make it meaningful to students.”

The main thrust of their success came from the demand-led ebook system the Robinson Library has operated over the last few years. Explaining the system and its benefits, Connolly said: “What we’ve done is that we’ve licensed a lot of ebooks through the Electronic Book Library (EBL) so students can choose the one they want to read and we pay EBL a fee to give students access to that text for up to a week.

“And if there is a particular one that is popular with students then we automatically buy it on the basis that there is a proven demand for it. So what it is doing is effectively turning the library purchasing model on its head whereas we traditionally get reading lists and recommendations from academics,

Editor Ben Travis News Editors George Sandeman, Susie Beever and Anna Templeton Online News Editor Aine Stott Comment Editors Georgie Moule and Laura Wotton Online Comment Editor Jennifer Evans Features Editor Tom Nicholson Listings Editor Sally Priddle Lifestyle Editors Lauren Stafford, Emily Rae and Catherin Davison Online Lifestyle Editor Victoria Mole Fashion Editors Elissa Hudson and Lizzie Hampson Online Fashion Editor Sally Greenwood Beauty Editor Annie Morgan Online Beauty Editor Amy Macauley Arts Editors Lisa Bernhardt and Millie Walton Online Arts Editor Grace Harvey Film Editors Hayley Hamilton and Sam Hopkins Online Film Editor Chris Binding TV Editor Chris Taylor Online TV Editor Ben Parkin Music Editors Chris Haywood and Sam Summers Online Music Editor Sophie Coletta Sports Editors Ralph Blackburn, Nick Gabriel and Lucy Williams Online Sports Editors Freddie Caldwell and Jack Gelsthorpe Copy Editors Harriet Andrews, Helen Battrick, Georgina Grant, Rachel Horrocks, Maddie McNeill, Charley Monteith, Leanne Penning, Amy Preston, Tom Rhodes, Gemma Thompson, Jessica Timms

then we go out and buy them and put them on the shelves with the expectation that people will use them but we don’t actually know if they will.”

“The EBL, demand-led model means we provide access to a much wider range of material without committing to buy any of it. We pay for individual access to each text and only buy it once it is clear there is a guaranteed demand for it. It is a ‘just in time’ provision rather than the previous ‘just in case’ provision.”

“It’s about value for money and efficiency, that’s the keynote to it. And you get all the added advantages to ebooks, multiple access to any given text, no storage costs.

“It’s not replacing print books, we still need those, we still buy 15,000 a year, but it’s just adding to that provision and giving people more choice.”

The most recent National Student Survey saw student approval of the library reach 90% which Connolly described as “a big jump for us and put us in the top 10 in the country and that was before the refurbishment had finished.”

The Courier is printed by: Print and Digital Associates, Fernleigh House, 10 Uttoxeter Road, Derby, Derbyshire, United Kingdom, DE3 0DA. Established in 1948, The Courier is the fully independent student newspaper of the Students’ Union at Newcastle University. The Courier is published weekly during term time, and is free of charge.

The design, text, photographs and graphics are copyright of The Courier and its individual contributors. No parts of this newspaper may be reproduced without the prior permission of the Editor. Any views expressed in this newspaper’s opinion pieces are those of the individual writing, and not of The Courier, the Students’ Union or Newcastle University.

The Courier

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Monday 29 October 2012

180-mile mad men run in memory of Natalie Moss

By Johnny Farrar-Bell

BEST FOOT FORWARD

Sebastian Moss and Ashley Collins on their strenuous but satisfying 7-day challenge Photography: Fiona Moss

Luckily most of us do not have to suffer the pain of losing a family member at an early age.

But tragedy struck the Moss family when the sister of Fiona Moss, a 3rd year English literature student, died suddenly of a brain haemorrhage last year.

The route was soon fixed upon Manchester to London as not only was it the required distance, 180 miles, but they were also the two cities Natalie knew the most.

Ash and Sebastian set off from Manchester on 23rd September to a party atmosphere at the University, before their almost 200 gruelling miles.

Tendonitis and shin splints both took their toll on the runners, with it taking

Tendonitis and shin splints took their toll on both, such was their dedication to the cause Natalie, who was only 26 years old and already had a promising career ahead of her at boutique clothing firm Karen Millen in London, first fell ill when working on the Greg James show on Radio 1 in December 2011. Sadly after several days in hospital in London she passed away.

Her parents, determined to make some good out of the tragedy and have something to focus on, set up the Natalie Kate Moss Trust in her memory.

The charity helps those suffering from brain injuries particularly focussing on students at Manchester University, where Natalie studied.

It hopes to provide financial support enabling students to finish their degrees despite having the disability. On the trust website, it advocates the chance to give people ‘a chance to fulfil their potential.’

It was in aid of this charity that Fiona’s brother Sebastian, a former rugby player in Italy, thought up the idea of running seven marathons in seven days. He soon recruited a friend, Ashley Collins – who had just returned from a year travelling in North America – and the pair set about training for the venture.

10 hours to complete the 26 miles some days. In fact such was their dedication to the cause, and the memory of Natalie, that Sebastian ran even having slipped a disc in his back only months previously.

Supporters paid for the pair to stay in hotels and receive physio treatment en route as the sponsorship money kept flooding in.

Fiona noted that: “random people kept coming out of nowhere and donating money”.

It was on 29th of September, 7 bruising days after they started, that Sebastian and Ash arrived to adoring crowds in London’s Hyde Park, the memory of Natalie having spurred them on to complete the epic test of endurance. £15,000 of sponsorship has so far been raised from the run. It will all be used to make the lives of those suffering from the brain injury that Natalie Moss died from live a more normal life.

To learn more about the cause or to donate, visit:

www.nataliekatemoss.co.uk

S.H.A.G week goes down with a bang

By Laura Ritchie-Roberts Last week saw the return of Sexual Health Advice and Guidance Week.

The aim of the Students’ Union run initiative was to provide students with a platform to talk about sex and to raise awareness of sex related issues in an informative and entertaining way.

There has been some debate as to whether a campaign such as S.H.A.G week is promotpromiscuity It was discov- ing amongst students ered that an but organisers of alarmingly the event stress high number of that emphasis of week is on students were the discussing sexual infected with a health and our little known STI attitudes towards called Tricho- sex and relationships. moniasis Mark Casey, a Sociology lecturer, led a special open lecture on the History of Sex and STIs on Wednesday afternoon, and BAFTA award winning series Embarrassing Bodies paid a visit to the Union on Wednesday. Co-presenter Dr Dawn Harper was on hand throughout the day to discuss sexual concerns and offer general advice.

Free STI screenings were also administered and it was discovered that an alarmingly high number of students were infected with little known STI called Trichomoniasis.

Although easily treatable with antibiotics, long-term infection could cause irreparable damage to the tissue on the cervix. The episode is due to air early next spring.

One of the key aims of S.H.A.G week is to remove the stigma associated with sexual health. Recently, there has been an outbreak of gonorrhoea in the North East with students being the demographic most affected.

Gonorrhoea can often have no symptoms but may lead to infertility if left untreated. It has also been recently revealed that as many as 1 in 14 students have Chlamydia.

Free chlamydia and gonorrhoea screenings were available all week. 508 were screened in Freshers’ week, but at the Playground on Wednesday, 115 were tested in one night alone.

Organisers were also keen to highlight each individual person’s responsibility to safeguard their own sexual health and wellbeing.

Despite the wet weather, volunteers handed out free condoms and information on the week’s events outside the union all week. Over 950 of these so called ‘S.H.A.G packs’ were distributed to students.

Other events during the week included the love/sex themed Homemade Jam night and a public debate on sexualisation in the media. S.H.A.G week closed on Thursday evening with the mens bar ‘sex raffle’ with all the proceeds going to charity.

GONE-ORHERE?

Welfare officer Esta Innes gets up close and personal with welfare bear Photo: Rachael Thornton

4.news

Monday 29 October 2012

The Courier

Student activists protest against Uni’s attendance proposals

By Susie May Beever News Editor Campus witnessed a different kind of protest last week, as members of political pressure group Newcastle Free Education Network came together to show their opposition against the University’s possible introduction of biometric scanners.

The group protested by setting up a mock fingerprint scanner on King’s Walk, outside the Students’ Union building, arousing great interest among passers by.

“It turns universities into border checkpoints, [and] is based on the myth that constant monitoring is good for students.”

Luke Neal, Secretary of NFEN said: “None of the students I have talked to about attendance monitoring today knew that the University were considering these measures.

“This is indicative of the University’s approach - unaccountable and unheard of. The University should have consulted its students before taking any steps in this direction.”

Pete Campbell, a post-graduate stu-

“The introduction of these scans would turn universities into border checkpoints” The protest was set up to raise awareness of the possibility that the University may introduce such scanners to monitor attendance levels of all international students, due to pressure from the UK Border Agency.

Students walking past were encouraged to walk through the mock scanner, highlighting the issue of a breach of privacy and institutionalization.

The campaigners argue that: “The introduction of biometric scanning [would be] unnecessary and intrusive.

It is a direct product of xenophobic policy.”

The political group also added that:

dent commented that: “The University seem convinced that the only way they can act is by turning [the campus] into a police state.

“University is about so much more than attendance at lectures, yet this proposal fails to realise this.

“The University seems intent to scan students into every lecture, even though the UKBA are only asking for twice a week from international students. Surely a seminar-based approach would be more sensible.”

Newcastle Free Education Network have scheduled a further protest to happen on Monday 29 October.

PRIVACY INVASION Student activists don’t agree with the possibility of introducing biometric scanners Photo: Susie May Beever

“We took the measure out of respect of public opinion surrounding Mr. Savile. We are waiting for the conclusion of the police investigation before taking any further action” continued from page 1 It contained scenes in which five women alleged he had sexually abused them when they were children.

Since the airing of the programme, soaring numbers of alleged victims have come forward claiming to have been abused by the BBC superstar, reaching the grand total of 300 last week.

Since the enquiry into Savile (opera-

Mandeville Hospital for emotionally unstable girls throughout the 1970s.

Rumours of child abuse surrounded the presenter until his death last year.

Labour leader Ed Miliband has echoed this by reiterating calls for Savile to be stripped of his knighthood.

BBC Look North Reporter Phil Bodmer recently stated: “Police investigating Savile abuse claims say they are as-

Scotland Yard are now pursuing 400 lines of inquiry that involve 300 potential victims with 114 allegations of sexual offence already officially recorded tion Yewtree) has launched, he has been ousted as one of the most prolific sex offenders of recent history.

The weight of evidence against the late DJ is “overwhelming”, report Scotland Yard.

Savile was first questioned in Labour leader 1958 for ‘interfering with young Ed Miliband girls’. In the late has echoed 1960’s there was this by reiterat- an enquiry into underage sex taking calls for ing place between Savile to be Savile and young stripped of his girls in the Top Of The Pops changknighthood ing rooms. An allegation was also made in 1971 that Savile was involved with a fifteen-yearold dancer on the show.

Various allegations were also made concerning Savile and his visits to Stoke

tounded by the number of allegations”.

This comes as Savile’s Great Niece Caroline Robinson accuses him of sexually abusing her when she was twelve.

Scotland Yard are now pursuing 400 lines of enquiry in the Jimmy Savile abuse case involving 300 potential victims. 114 allegations of sexual offences have been officially recorded but this number is increasing rapidly. All but two of the victims are female.

Savile was a household name in the 1970s and 80s as the host of popular Saturday evening show Jim’ll Fix It. He also presented Top Of The Pops and a number of other popular programmes.

Strip his knighthood? Tell us what you think at:

www.thecourieronline.co.uk

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news.5

Monday 29 October 2012

University set to close botanical gardens

By Holly Callis Moorbank, Newcastle University’s botanical gardens, is set to close next year after a fall in both research activity and visitor numbers.

The gardens, which are four acres and is situated only a fifteen minute walk

away from the city centre on Claremont Road, is home to many rare and exotic plant species.

Ivor Crowther, head of the Heritage Lottery fund, described it as a “wonderful hidden garden” in the city.

It has also recently been the centre of many local school and community projects in the garden’s ‘open days’. They

are now set to close next year in what would have been the garden’s 90th anniversary year.

It was also set to play a key part in the University’s contribution to the British Science Festival in 2013 due to its role as an important research centre in the scientific community.

In February this year the gardens

GREEN JEWEL

Many people are disappointed by the decision to close the Newcastle’s beautiful gardens Photography: Susie May Beever

were awarded a grant from the Heritage Lottery Fund to the value of £12,200 after extensive campaigns from the staff and Friends of Moorbank, a team of volunteers.

A volunteer spokesperson said: “Here the development of new glasshouses to replace those about to be destroyed at Moorbank will cost hundreds of thousands of pounds, on top of the exwhich “Moorbank is penses may be incurred rather more in mothballing or than a Univer- dismantling the extensive glasssity asset to houses and buildbe weighed ings at Mooragainst the bank.”

The decision cost on a close has conbalance sheet” to fused members of university and Moorbank staff.

The grant was awarded to allow the regular opening of Moorbank to the public, however this goal looks unlikely due to the university’s recent decision.

The principle aim of the botanical gardens however was the variation of research carried out, including studies in agriculture and biochemistry.

The University leases the gardens in order to allow this research to continue, and it is this lease which is set to stop, effectively closing the gardens.

The decision to withdraw funding has been controversial among university staff and members of the public.

John Hartshorne (an experienced bi-

ology teacher who has brought students to Moorbank in the past) said “there has been no warning, no opportunity to discuss the best way forward or to seek ways to keep this lovely garden open and accessible to the public and school groups”.

He appealed to Newcastle University to reconsider, saying that “Moorbank is rather more than a university asset to be weighed against the cost on a balance sheet”.

He said: “As a result of these visits I have had many students tell me that they never fully understood the importance of plants before, and several have pursued careers in plant biology.”

The gardens are made up of an outside space and two greenhouses, which are to be relocated.

Experimental glasshouse facilities will have to be moved from their current position at Moorbank to the university’s Cockle Park facility, 25 miles north of the city, near Morpeth.

This move has also proved to be controversial as the cost of rebuilding the greenhouses elsewhere and transporting the plants is likely to be significantly higher than the cost of the lease.

Professor Stephen Homans (Pro-Vice Chancellor of the faculty of Science, Agriculture and Engineering) said of the closure that the decision was “not taken lightly” and that the “small amount of research activity and low levels of visitor numbers at Moorbank regrettably makes this investment unaffordable.”

Uni signs form of ‘openness’ on animal testing

By Jake Unsworth Britain’s leading biomolecular research organisations, including Newcastle University’s research centre, have all signed a declaration which will entail being more open about their use of animal testing in research.

In a joint ‘Declaration on Openness on Animal Research’, Newcastle University, several research intensive universities, the Medical Research Council and other organisations which use live animals for research, have stated their intention

body and head restraints, with the aim of discovering more about ADHD in humans. Research undertaken by other signatories of the Declaration includes research into cancer treatments and causes, as well as dementia and heart disease, three of the major causes of death in the UK. The proposals have not yet been fully fleshed out. This declaration, unveiled on the 19th October at the Science Media Centre in London, has stated that there will, at a future point, be more detail.

It is guaranteed however, that the in-

the most startling figure explains that public trust in the regulatory system has fallen from 56% in 2010 to 43% in 2010. This has perhaps prompted this declaration, which appears to support some element of self-regulation, prom-

ising to put in place ‘measurable objectives’ which could reignite support for the industry, based on improved public knowledge of practices.

Stephen Whitehead, the chief executive of the Association of the British

Pharmaceutical Industry commented that Britain’s life sciences community need to be ‘more forthright about the fact that without animal research, the bio-pharmaceutical sector cannot continue to innovate new treatments’.

In a ‘Declaration on Openness on Animal Research’, the University have stated their intention to implement “a more transparent approach to animal research” is to put measures in place which will “underpin a more transparent approach to animal research” in future.

The story follows from news last December, when the University was forced to release the details of its animal experimentation programmes, at which time they also revealed that it had spent £250,000 on legal fees attempting to conceal this information.

The University justified its lack of openness on the grounds of employee welfare. One result however, was that this lack of transparency cultivated a ‘fear of the unknown’ mentality among animal research critics, who were able to speculate about the scale of any wrongdoing, rather than be told exactly what had and had not happened.

The animal research that took place at the University fell under scrutiny for its techniques; using water deprivation and

stitutions will attempt to ‘take part in an on-going conversation about why and how animals are used in research and the benefits of this’, and that ‘measurable objectives’ will be used to help aid this new transparent approach.

This declaration comes at a time when public trust in both scientists and the rules which govern them regarding the controversial practice of animal testing, is falling. A recent poll, commissioned by the Department for Business, Innovation and Skills and carried out by Ipsos MORI, revealed that the number who class themselves as ‘objectors’ has risen from 29% in 2006, to 35% in 2010 and now 37% in 2012. Perhaps prompted by the wide scale of the scandal which affected Newcastle University last year, Manchester University, Oxford University and several other bodies were also accused of wrongdoing;

TEST OF KINDNESS The University has signed a pledge to be more open on testing on animals such as macaque monkeys

6.news

Monday 29 October 2012

The Courier

Student auctions virginity to help charitable cause

By Susie May Beever News Editor A Brazilian student has found herself in a whirlwind of controversy this week, after auctioning off her virginity for a charitable cause.

Catarina Migliorina, 20, sold her first sexual encounter to a Japanese man for $780,000 through the website Virgins Wanted, in spite of fierce competition from an Indian and two American men.

“The auction is just a business, I’m a romantic girl at heart and believe in love. But this will make a big difference to my area.”

The date itself is not be filmed, however Catarina is set to board a plane from Australia to the U.S. and will be interviewed by the TV crew before and after the experience. Natsu is also set to remain anonymous, and will not be making an appearance on the documentary.

On the Virgins Wanted website, terms

“I have the opportunity to travel, to be part of a movie and get a bonus with it. The auction is just a business, I’m a romantic girl at heart and believe in love. But this will make a big difference to my area”

The physical education student, who denies prostitution on the grounds of selling her body only once, says she plans to put the cash towards building homes for Brazilian impoverished families living in areas of bad infrastructure.

The Japanese man, named Natsu, beat American bidders Jack Miller and Jack Right, as well as Indian millionaire Rudra Chatterjee, for a night with student Catarina.

Controversy has deepened, as the student also revealed the encounter would be filmed for an Australian documentary crew. She said of the deal: “I saw this as a business. I have the opportunity to travel, to be part of a movie and get a bonus with it.”

and conditions of the deal state that the bidder is allowed to engage in sexual intercourse for at least one hour so long as there is no use of recording equipment, third person or expectations to fulfil any fantasies or fetishes. The highest bidder will also be refrained from ‘kissing the virgin’, and is promised a ‘certificate of consummation’ after the experience.

The website also states: “The female virgin will undergo a medical examination by an accredited gynecologist and provide the winning bidder with medical evidence of her virginity. The virgin must provide a document from the gynecologist that certifies her claim to virginity.”

DOWN TO BUSINESS Catarina Migliorina has auctioned off her virginity to help those in poverty Image: Virgins Wanted

The Courier

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Monday 29 October 2012

“Marketing and recruitment, local knowledge and presence on the ground, is one of INTO’s real strengths” continued from page 1 Or they don’t make the grade and find somewhere else to go.

“We have strong pass rates and that is in part down to the filtering process.

Our entry requirements here are quite high compared to other INTO centres because Newcastle’s ranking is high, it’s a Russell Group University, a top 15 University.”

Whilst the centre is a brand new build, sporting new state-of-the-art interactive white“This was all some of derelict before, boards, the accommofor years it dation is set in was just a bit a converted, old Newcastle brewof crap here, ery. there was “This was all absolutely derelict before, nothing going for years it was just a bit of crap on” here, there was absolutely nothing going on.”

530 students are accommodated in the new halls whilst others use ‘homestay’ in which students live with local families in the town.

“Some students decide to do it because they think it is the fast-track way of learning English, immersing themselves in that environment.”

Others rent private accommodation together “like second and third year students at the University.” Another appeal of the new accommodation are the paid ‘senior residents’ who live there with the

students.

They are PhD students, usually international, studying at the University and act as a “first point of call for students, as a mentor and because they’ve been in the city a while, provide a reassuring presence and help them settle in.”

Asked how INTO goes about recruiting students from all over the world to enrol in their programmes, Conroy effused: “That’s one of its real strengths, that’s where the University, when it was thinking shall we [enter into partnership], shall we not, INTO’s marketing network is, I think, amazingly strong.

“We’ve got offices in each of the world’s main regional centres, big offices in Shanghai, Hong Kong, in the Middle East where we’ve got a presence on the ground and regional managers in all the centres.

“Our job [at INTO Newcastle] is to make sure in all of that, the promotion for Newcastle is coming through strongly... That marketing and recruitment, local knowledge and presence on the ground, is one of our real strengths.

It’s something that I don’t think the University could ever do, it never has, you just couldn’t do it.”

INTO operates a multiple entry system where they have big intakes in September and January, with a small one in April, and then a big intake in the Summer for short courses including Summer school and the popular pre-sessional English lessons for those starting Newcastle University courses the following September.

ALL ABOUT COMMUNITY One of the larger communal areas on the ground floor of the refurbished brewery Photo: George Sandeman

The University also operates its own Summer school programme but Conroy described it as being “not of any great volume as far as I can tell.”

“We do quite a bit and have done so for years and years. A lot of that is from other international universities, such as Korea and Japan, who want to come over to the UK for a few weeks in the Summer and combine a bit of a holiday, a social experience with, a bit of studying.”

All student enrolled with INTO are also fully verified Newcastle students.

“They are given a smartcard and an ‘ncl.

ac.uk’ email address just like anybody else.

“I think that is really important to make them feel that they are here at the University, they want to study here and they want to feel part of. When I stand up and talk to all 600 of them I tell them to use the Sports Centre, to go to the Students’ Union and study in the Robinson Library.

“They find it all a bit daunting to begin with, going through Freshers’ Week, but we encourage them to use the facilities as much as possible.”

The first INTO centre was set up at

the University of East Anglia before expanding into other UK campuses including Exeter and Manchester as well as more recently in the USA at Oregon State and Colorado State.

The INTO centre on campus was previously housed in Kensington Terrace and the Old Library Building but “we grew out of those facilities which was the genesis for this new centre.”

“The new buildings provide us with more space and greater capacity which was the problem we had before, it’s just better.”

8.news

Monday 29 October 2012

The Courier

Computing Science lecturer running for police commissioner

By George Sandeman News Editor Computing Science lecturer Dr Peter Andras will be standing as the Lib Dem candidate for Northumbria Police & Crime Commissioner in the elections due to take place on 15 November.

The new commissioners will replace police authorities in 41 areas and be responsible for agreeing budgets, setting strategic priorities as well as overseeing chief constables.

The move is part of the current government’s plan to introduce AmeriThe commis- can inspired demmandates sioners will be ocratic local governpaid between into ment authorities £65,000 and and institutions.

The commission£100,000 annual salary ers will be paid between £65,000 based upon and £100,000 antheir region of nual salary based responsibility upon their region of responsibility.

Asked why there was a need for a police commissioner, Dr Andras said: “The Liberal Democrats were initially not enthusiastic about the creation of the role of police commissioner. However, the position was created, there will be an election and the party took the decision to field candidates.”

Explaining the Lib Dems’ initial objections to the role, the Reader in Complex Systems said: “Our main objection to the role was that it creates the possibility of politicising the work of the police.

We don’t believe that this is a good thing and the only way of ensuring that this doesn’t happen is to field a candidate that would limit the politicisation of the police as created by this role.

The Electoral Reform Society have predicted turnout to be as low as 18.5% with Chief Executive Katie Ghose commenting that the forthcoming elections were in danger of “turning into a farce.”

The new commissioners will replace police authorities in 41 areas and be responsible for agreeing budgets, setting strategic priorities as well as overseeing chief constables “The decision to field a candidate by the local Lib Dems was made quite late on in the process so the field of potential candidates qualified to do the role was quite narrow … In the end, I was the only person in the selection process suitable for the role so I was made the candidate.”

Explaining why he wanted to do the role, the Romanian native said: “I thought it important to field a candidate for the role so I threw my hat into the ring. I’m interested in the role because, now it exists, we need to find a way of reducing political interference in policing and, if possible, eliminate it and I would like to do that.”

Police feelings over the role, aimed at democratising the police and making their work accountable to the community, are reportedly mixed with former London Metropolitan police chief Lord Ian Blair calling for a boycott of the elections. He cited that each new police commissioner would be responsible for too large an area to oversee effectively.

Andras has been a Councillor in the North West Jesmond ward since 2011 and says: “Night time noise has been our biggest challenge so far which involves a lot of communicating and working with the police. Particularly with Operation Oak that patrols the streets more often during the nights. More recently, serious flooding has been a major issue so we do work with the council on trying to prepare residents for that.”

Aside from limiting political interference in the work of the police, Andras sees his potential role as also focusing on “improving the democratic transparency and responsibility of the police. It is about how you channel the views of the local community towards the police and to make sure that police operations are transparent and satisfying the needs of the local community.”

Commissioners will also be responsible for creating the policing plan for their region, done in collaboration with the Chief Constable and the local police force. “I don’t think it is the role of the

commissioner to tell them what to do but ensure that the local community is consulted properly and that they feed in their preferences and priorities into the policing plan and that a practicable agreement is reached.”

A member of the local Lib Dem party executive since 2003, he ran in the 2010 general election as MP for Washington and Sunderland West, finishing third with 17.1% of the vote whilst collecting 6,382 votes.

Andras came to Newcastle University in 2000, previously at Maastricht in the Netherlands, having formerly taught in his home country of Romania in the town of Cluj. He specialises in complex

systems and artificial intelligence. His research is currently focused on complex systems and, in particular, on neurosystems.

Andras is an ethnic Hungarian from Transylvania, home of the fabled Dracula. He has been involved in politics since he turned 19 after the Romanian revolution, involved in the ethnic Hungarian political party that has been part of several Romanian governments.

Andras was one of the founders and leaders of the liberal wing of the ethnic Hungarian party, an easy transition to joining the Lib Dems when arriving in the UK.

POLICING THE PO-PO

Lecturer and Jesmond councillor Dr Peter Andras wants to be Northumbria’s first commissioner Photo: George Sandeman

The Courier

nationalstudentnews.9

Monday 29 October 2012

Manchester students caught in Carnage MP George Uni’s attempt Galloway at inspiring controversy as T-shirts cause offense met by femi- public takes a

By Holly Abbotson

Carnage, a student bar crawl well known for its drinking exploits, has fallen under the spotlight once again this week, this time in the popular student city of Manchester.

The night came under scrutiny after a group of students glorified far-right organisations such as the Nazis, the BNP and the IRA with logos drawn unmistakably on their official Carnage T-shirts.

The notoriously-reputed bar crawl made the news only a few months ago, due to its controversial choice of a ‘Pimps and Hoes’ fancy dress theme.

Disputes have been further worsened

Job Title: Sandwich Artist Employer: Subway Closing date: 01.11.12 Salary: National Minimum Wage Basic job description: A part-time Sandwich Artist is required to work 10+ hours per week at the Subway in the Metrocentre, Gateshead. Duties include serving customers, cash handling, preparing food, adhering to workplace health and safety standards & other general duties. Although these are 10hr contracts, extra hours are available subject to a candidate’s availability.

Person requirements: Experience preferred but not essential as full and extensive training is provided.

Location: Gateshead.

Job Title: Support Assistant Employer: Topshop Closing date: 02.11.2012 Salary: Exceeds National Minimum Wage Basic job description: A Support Assistant is required to work 8 hours per week at the Rare Concession within Topshop - Metrocentre, Gateshead. Duties include stock replenishment, liaising with customers to create sales/meet targets, merchandising, and other general store duties. Hours of work will be on Wednesdays and Sundays.

Person requirements: You will have previous retail experience, excellent customer service skills, and be able to work within a team.

Location: Gateshead.

Job Title: Checkout Operator Employer: ASDA Closing date: 05.11.2012 Salary: To be confirmed.

Basic job description: A Checkout Operator is required to work 8 hours per week (days/ evenings) at the ASDA in Benton, Newcastle.

The genuinely warm and friendly way a customer is served is seen the most at the checkout, probably more than any other area in store, so you can play a major part in making the customer experience a fantastic one. Of course we want you to smile and be polite. But it’s also about listening, talking, being patient, being helpful, looking smart and being calmly efficient.

Person requirements: Unfortunately due to the laws relating to the sale of alcohol, all our checkout operators must be aged over 18.

Location: Newcastle upon Tyne.

Job Title: Christmas Sales Assistant Employer: Yankee Doodle Candle Closing date: 31.10.12

through some students’ glorification of Hitler and other extremist political groups.

People attending the bar crawl in

“However, it is a real shame to see some of the students bringing down the name of the event with disgraceful graffiti on their clothing.”

“It is a real shame to see some of the students bringing down the name of the event with graffiti on their clothing” Manchester city centre were also caught flashing passing traffic, vomiting, urinating and smashing bottles.

Manchester council lead member, Pat Karney commented: “It seems that the vast majority of students have been well behaved and respectful.

Salary: National Minimum Wage Basic job description: A Sales Assistant is required to work part-time hours at the store in the Metrocentre, Gateshead. You will be working weekends and evenings between 4pm and 10pm, beginning mid-November.

Duties will include: liaising with customers, cash handling, merchandising, stock replenishment and other general store duties.

Person requirements: The successful candidates will have previous retail experience & excellent customer service skills, be able to work as part of a team & have excellent communication/numeracy skills.

Location: Gateshead.

Job Title: Sunday Library Assistant Employer: Newcastle University Closing date: 05.11.2012 Salary: £15,503 - £16,376 pro-rata Basic job description: A Library Assistant is required to work 7.5 hours per week (Sundays, 10:00am - 5:30pm) at the Robinson Library in Newcastle. Duties include the delivery of front counter activities such as registering new readers, issuing smartcards, taking in library fines and dealing with a range of general and subject enquiries, often relating to library electronic resources.

Person requirements: You should possess a minimum of 5 GCSEs at Grade C or above (or equivalent) and have a minimum of one year’s experience of working in a library or equivalent. Good IT, customer care and communication skills are essential, as is the ability to work in a team or independently.

Location: Newcastle upon Tyne.

Job Title: Newcastle Work Experience - Project Manager Employer: Asian Business Connections Closing date: 04.11.2012 Salary: £600 bursary upon completion of placement Basic job description: ABC is a social enterprise that aims to connect, support and promote the Asian and wider business communities. We host regular networking and charity events that are hugely popular often selling out. We identify gaps in the provision of business support, together with business opportunities and then collaborate with partners to help deliver a gap filling service.

Person requirements: Other than commitment, enthusiasm and positive energy we aren’t looking for any particular specialisms, experience or expertise. There are up to three major projects the candidate can choose to be part of, all of which will make

Carnage also hit the headlines in 2009, when Sheffield student Philip Laing left veteran’s families distraught after he was pictured urinating on a war memorial in the city centre wearing one of the bar crawl’s T-shirts.

a significant impact to the North East, and more importantly help ABC deliver upon its endeavours.

Location: Newcastle upon Tyne.

Job Title: Newcastle Work Experience - Market Research Assistant Employer: Bluegrass Research Closing date: 04.11.2012 Salary: £600 bursary upon completion of placement Basic job description: Bluegrass is a marketing research consultancy based in Gateshead. We work for a wide range of clients and brands; the common thread being that they all look to us to deliver knowledge and insight to ensure they make good marketing decisions. Bluegrass is growing and we need some support! You will work as part of our team supporting the delivery of a wide range of marketing research projects.

Person requirements: We require a confident and enthusiastic individual with excellent communication skills. We are a close-knit team so the ability to work together and share ideas is a must. You should be comfortable working with data, using Excel and PowerPoint.

Location: Gateshead.

Job Title: Newcastle Work Experience - Marketing and Communications Officer Employer: Divine Departures Closing date: 04.11.2012 Salary: £600 bursary upon completion of placement Basic job description: Divine Departures offer bespoke, alternative and traditional funeral services nationwide. We believe that planning a funeral should not be a sombre, sorrowful occasion but an opportunity to reflect our personality, celebrate a well-lived colourful life, our hobbies and our interests.

We’re looking for initiative, drive and inventive ideas to move forward ahead of our competition. We currently feature in local newspapers and have appeared in council newsletters however a marketing strategy/ plan is urgently required in order to create awareness and succeed.

Person requirements: This is no ordinary marketing project! We require an individual who’s not afraid of a challenge, who can suggest and invent an alternative marketing strategy whilst keeping with our aims and objectives. Experience of writing press releases is desirable.

Location: Gateshead.

nist protest

criminal turn

Oxford University

University of Cambridge

Bradford MP George Galloway was met with protest outside Oxford Union last Monday.

The politician’s recent comments regarding rape were the cause of the hostility, having stated on ‘Good Night with George Galloway’ that sex with a sleeping partner is merely “bad sexual e t i qu e tte” and would not be constituted as rape. The protesters were predominantly from the Oxford Feminist Network and displayed banners with slogans including “Wake Up George” and “George, no means no”.

The protesters argued that Mr. Galloway’s views “excused rapists from what they do”.

Fifteen pianos, donated by Cambridge University’s faculty of Music, were dotted around the city in the hope of inspiring creative feats of improvisation from regular passers-by.

Contrarily, the pianos were found in bad shape after a bout of v an d a l ism that s a w o n e stolen entirely and others w i t h severe d a m age to the wheels. The pianos’ only instruction, ‘Play Me, I’m Yours’, was perhaps taken too literally when another was tellingly dragged across the Common towards student accommodation.

Students win campaign to save popular nightclub

LSE Football Club shamed for sexist tweets

University of Edinburgh

London School of Economics

Edinburgh’s most lively club, ‘Bongo’, has been given a short-term lease of life thanks to a student-led campaign. The University sacrificed work for play in its decision to keep the club up and running for an additional three months, rejecting former plans to house new classrooms within the club walls.

Max Crema, Vice President of Services at the University and leader of the campaign, stated his delight that the Court had witnessed ‘the value [that] Bongo Club brings to the c o m mu n i t y ’.

The extension of the tenancy was undoubtedly met with enthusiasm amongst campaigning students who, according to Crema, would benefit from the crosscultural events that occur throughout the year.

London School of Economics Football Club has been forced to shut down its Twitter page after posting controversial tweets regarding female members of the Athletic Union. The girls, condemned as ‘sluts’ with ‘no self-respect’ were backed by Alice Stott, Women’s Officer of the Students’ Union who protested that the postings “illustrate[d] particularly sexist and misogynist attitudes towards female sexuality.”

T h e Un i on , w e l l known for its zero tolerance policy toward sexism, was adamant that team captains accept culpability on behalf of the entire team with particular regard for the ‘sensitivities of other groups’. The Twitter account will remain deactivated until the formal apology has been accepted by all those affected.

Photography: lewishamdreamer / ruoshin (Flickr)

Laura Wotton and Leanne Penning

10.comment

Monday 29 October 2012

The Courier

The rapidly rising rate of re-offending HARRIET SALE

W

e often hear in the press that the number of recorded crimes is at ‘an all time low.’

Politicians seem particularly proud of this and statistics clearly show that crime has been slowly decreasing since the late 1990s. However, the UK’s prisons are fuller than ever, many of which are overcrowded which is somewhat disconcerting.

It is important to look at the role of prisons in the twenty-first century; not only are they used as punishments, as a means of preventing future problems and for the general safety of the public, they are also a place for rehabilitation which, to some extent, is where the problem lies.

Since 2001, the steady re-offending rate of 26% has rocketed to ‘an all time high.’ In figures for 2011, 90% of people sentenced to serve time in prison in England and Wales had made an offence before and 46% of those had 15 or more previous convictions.

The quick will be first to point out it is hard not to argue that 2011 could be somewhat of an anomaly, with the sudden yet temporary influx of prisoners due to the August riots. Yet the rising trend in the rate of re-offenders is very significant in recent years.

In the ‘Introduction’ to the Prison Reform Trust’s June 2012 Prison Factfile it states, ‘People are sent to prison as a

punishment, not for punishment.’ This highlights the function of prison in today’s society, the significance of personal welfare in prisons and the emphasis that needs to be made in creating a future for offenders, what happens after serving time.

“The steady reoffending rate has rocketed to an all time high” By no means is it easy to justify educating convicts serving lifetime sentences with a view to the future, but, may I remind you, the death penalty has gone. This does not weaken the severity of their crime, but evidently something has got to be done to stop offenders doing it again. Judging by the soaring re-offending figures, the support and education needed to provide a successful rehabilitation program is clearly failing them. HM Government’s report, Reducing Re-Offending Through Skills and Employment uncovered that 52% of offenders had no qualifications at all, and that 67% were unemployed. Could there be a more obvious connection between education and offending?

Rather than investing in more prisons, the government should invest in educating those already there so that they do not find themselves, or want to be, there again.

BACK AGAIN

The criminal re-offending rate has soared in recent years.

Image: Youval Y (Wikimedia)

US Election: Where do you stand?

JOE WOOD There is an uncomfortable air to this election. Four years ago there was a notion of ‘CHANGE’; in Europe we were swept away by it. We had seen eight years of the Bush administration and, whether you liked it or not, there was a great sense that something new was on the horizon.

Today, though, the adrenaline of that fiercely contested election has worn off.

We’re left feeling slightly let down by Obama’s lost promise of ‘change’.

It is unsettling how invigorated the right of the Republican Party have become.

With the frighteningly bias FOX News Channel behind them, Republican rallies filled with ‘Romney/Ryan posters, (and even Chuck Norris), it seems that Mitt Romney stands an altogether good chance at becoming president. With this we could see a more conservative, un-liberal and insular America which could find the rights of individuals outweighed by the fanatical doctrine of deeply conservative groups in America.

MARK SUMMERS

“We’re left feeling slightly let down by Obama’s promise of ‘change’”

SUSIE BEEVER NEWS EDITOR ‘Why is it we have 23 million people out of work? Why is it half our kids coming out of college can’t find good jobs?’ Some of the questions the Republican Presidential candidate asked the public at a rally in Virginia earlier this year. Because, Romney, your party left the US in billions of pounds worth of debt, then continued to oppose any of the Democrats’ attempts to alleviate it.

Everyone knows the Republicans have had nothing short of bad press when it comes to their position on women’s health and gay marriage. Then of course there’s their position on taxes, which no one seems to know anything about. As a bemused onlooker, surely the Republicans would never make it into office?

Not a party that appeals only to the millionaire, tax-dodging, Havana-smoking gentlemen’s club members? A party whose election nominee once likened people to corporations? Beats me.

The Presidential debates are now over. News stories and coverage has been created, policies have been outlined and attacked. However, don’t think that debates win elections. True, the candidates practice their arguments hard and use lines that have been used repeatedly and checked for effectiveness and clarity. However the debates are really there to fire up supporters rather than win converts.

Their timing is important. The election is on November 6th and both candidates will want to mobilise their base to try and convince the (less than) 10% of the population who still don’t know who to vote for. Some may decide who to vote for off the back of the debates. Most of them though will decide as they talk to their already decided friends and colleagues. It is these thousands of conversations between people who know each other well that will decide the result of this year’s election.

GEORGE SANDEMAN NEWS EDITOR

“Surely the Republicans would never make it into office?”

Throughout the last 18 months of Presidential jostling, the European media has continually underestimated the conservative values of Main Street America. The Atlantic is an ocean both in terms of water and social perception.

Main Street America stills sees itself as the ‘Frontier Nation’ and the ‘Shining City on a Hill’, as immortalised in the words by the Master of Main Street, Ronald Reagan. History informed by the Founding Fathers and The Constitution remains central to America’s view of itself with an overriding fondness for individual liberty and freedom from the tyranny of government.

Media outside of the USA has struggled to fully comprehend this and, as a result, see Obama as being further ahead of Romney than he actually is.

This election will, without doubt, be agonizingly close with all eyes on Ohio as the key battleground. In fact, no Republican has ever made it to the Oval Office without bagging the Rust Belt state so keep an eye out for it on election night.

The Courier

.11

Monday 29 October 2012

Comment

Comment Editors: Georgina Moule and Laura Wotton Online Comment Editor: Jennifer Evans thecourieronline.co.uk/comment courier.comment@ncl.ac.uk | @Courier_Comment

LOWERED STANDARDS Alan Milburn plans to offer students lower grade boundaries and guaranteed interviews.

Image: Gabriel Pollard (Wikimedia)

Should poorer students get preferential treatment?

ALEXANDRA ROGERS

YES N

o doubt the recent suggestions made by Alan Milburn in his report on social mobility will spark the furious criticisms of ‘social engineering’ and ‘positive discrimination.’

Plans to offer automatic interviews for students of poorer backgrounds for their university of choice, and where appropriate, to lower grade boundaries have indeed been met with cries of indignation that breeding is becoming more important than brains in securing a place at university.

I have to concede that yes, such actions fit under the umbrella term of ‘positive discrimination.’ But in my view, a laissez-faire attitude to education refuses to see the situation as it is: that teenagers from the richest 20% of households are seven times more likely to go to university than those in the poorest 40%.

Clearly, something needs to be done to adjust this unequal educational balance. If a bit of positive discrimination is needed to secure a positive outcome, then so be it.

At first glance, the basing of admissions into university on the concept of

‘meritocracy’ (that is, that hard work should be the guarantor of your success) is appealing. However, meritocracy fails to consider context. It is a sneer of ‘tough luck’ to those who have not had the easiest start in life, who weren’t lucky enough to go to a good school and receive the highest standard of education. Meritocracy only applies if the conditions (in this case, a high education standard) are uniform and universal. But this simply is not the case.

Applications therefore have to be considered in a relative fashion, with the consideration of the presence of some factors and the absence of others. Regarding less privileged students this can be applied to financial burdens, poor grades at school, lack of incentive to succeed in a difficult environment and even the absence of luck, or hope, in achieving a place at a top university.

More privileged students, by virtue of their socio-economic status, are fortunate enough not to be distracted by such issues. Unfortunately, others are.

The granting of automatic interviews and the lowering of grade boundaries seems to me to be just a couple of concessions amidst an array of disincentives for the under-privileged student to go to university. Consider that the Educational Maintenance Allowance was scrapped and that tuition fees have risen to an astronomical level and it seems fair that the government is trying to do something to champion the cause of students from disadvantaged backgrounds.

Although such students may not necessarily need a helping hand in getting into university, it is right that universities should entertain such possibilities

when much else seems to be against them. Yes, the recent suggestions made in this social mobility report can be seen to offer preferential treatment to a select category of students, but they are made with good intentions towards students in less preferable circumstances. Such ideas are simply the manifestation of the Welfare State, something that Britain is rather famous and praised for.

JAKE UNSWORTH

NO L

ife is unfair, we’re not all born heir to the throne of some bountiful kingdom, but in my view, overcoming obstacles can be a great source of achievement.

Preferential treatment when it comes to admissions is both a denial of the pleasure that comes from that triumph, but also an admission of failure. Given that a student is at least 18 by the time they apply to university – those who think positive discrimination is necessary think our education system is currently unable to provide equal opportunities, and will always be so; somewhere in that is a deeply pessimistic, uninspiring message for younger generations.

There are two questions, the answers to which show that the notion of positive discrimination in the field of higher education is absurd. The first question is; what is university for? The second; is there a point before university where the state can impact on a young person’s potential?

“Universities are not a tool for social mobility” Universities are about getting the very best, out of the very best. They are about cultivating future leaders, doctors, researchers and more. Universities are by their very nature elite institutions, that’s not elite as in you need to be in line for a peerage, that’s elite as in academically gifted.

They are not a tool for social mobility; they are a tool of a meritocracy which relies on a sound pre-18 education system. To strangle the universities, either with quotas, or enforced differential treatment of certain groups, such as the recent proposal of interviews for disadvantaged students is not equality and will not help to maintain our world class institutions, but will encourage them to prioritise admissions of disadvantaged students over the standard of students, regardless of background.

In a capitalist world, the only compatible social system is a meritocracy.

A meritocracy means that some will do better than others; meritocracy and equality of outcome are mutually exclusive. Meritocracy means that the state should seek to promote equality of opportunity. This means that young people, no matter their family income, should be able to go to a great school.

If however, by the age of 18, they still require leg-ups, you’re no longer dealing in equal opportunities, but trying to enforce equal outcomes.

This country has a dreadful record with state sponsored social mobility, since WWII we’ve focussed on it heavily, spent billions of pounds on programmes, to startlingly little effect. The fact is that sweeping initiatives like this can only possibly affect small numbers.

The most effective way of achieving the end of the rainbow – the meritocracy – is to make state schools a bastion of academic, educational excellence. Just as important is encouraging great home based education, alongside institutional schooling; that is all 5-18 year olds need an encouraging environment when they get home from school, or even in their pre-school years.

This latter part will be greatly helped by improved flexibility in paternity and maternity leave – an innovation some so-called feminist groups are claiming to be medieval. If however, we fail in our attempt to create this educational utopia, is it justified that we just take the short cut, and bump some of the most deprived ones up anyway?

What is it we’re trying to get to: Meritocracy, or mediocrity?

12.comment

Monday 29 October 2012

The Courier

That Mitchell and pleb look SIMON HARWOOD

T

he bedlam surrounding Andrew Mitchell and George Osborne over the past few weeks has thrust the issue of class back into the collective frontal lobe of Britain’s politicians.

Mitchell gave the media (not to mention the Opposition) a chance to use his background against him after a row with police at Downing Street, something they are only too happy to do.

Just look at the puppyish delight in Ed Miliband’s eyes when he gets to brand Cameron and the Tories as “out of touch” (this coming from a career politician born into a family of Marxist academics; what could be a more common background?).

Amongst all this public castigation, no one seemed to ask why the police had leaked the altercation to the media and why they weren’t above such spiteful behaviour. Mitchell, presumably, would have been arrested had he actually broken the law. Had Mitchell used the word

“pleb” in the incident with the police at Downing Street (he still denies it) it is probably worse than any actual profanity for a Tory MP, given its public-school, ‘elitist’ connotations.

A rather predictable sequence of events followed. Several papers revealed, rather conveniently, that he had been nicknamed ‘Thrasher’ at school and was once an investment banker (tantamount to murder these days). I give it about a month before the Daily Mail discover he actively worships Satan whilst sodomising himself in Haute de la Garenne.

Similarly, we are told how Osborne refused to sit in a regular carriage and how this somehow related to his privileged upbringing and wealth, in what The Mirror described as “The Great Train Snobbery”.

Do we actually need politicians to be ordinary? Surely the nature of their duties requires they be talented and diligent.

Worrying about which school people happened to be sent to is an extremely ugly British trait. Privately-educated politicians in government is hardly a new phenomenon. Why is there such vitriol when pictures of Cameron and Osborne surface from their Bullingdon Club days? You would think they’d been caught sacrificing kittens before effigies of Thatcher and Milton Friedman.

Some people have made money, and some use it to send their children to private schools. Unfortunately that’s capitalism and if it doesn’t work for you, build yourself a time machine, go back to Soviet Russia and let me know what life is like in a kolkhoz.

It’s amazing that we occasionally ignore actual problems, of which there are no shortage at the moment, and instead get whipped up into hysteria by the tabloids on what are incredibly trivial issues.

In this case it’s a politician being denigrated for possibly using a term associated with the lower classes, and another for being a millionaire. Would The Mirror rather Osborne sat at home watching Countdown à la Hugh Grant in About A Boy? I’m one of the few who doubt Mitchell used the word, given that it would be a biblical slip of the tongue for an experienced politician, and that he served in Cyprus as a UN peacekeeper, thus probably has some degree of respect for the Armed Forces and Police. But who’d believe a politician today?

END OF THE ROAD

Andrew Mitchell denies allegations surrounding his remarks.

Image: acumenimages.com (Flikr)

Follow the Comment section on Twitter: @Courier_Comment

Need for change in Pakistan JEN EVANS ONLINE COMMENT EDITOR

F

ollowing the shooting of a teenage girl in Pakistan, and her subsequent arrival in the UK for treatment, the spotlight has one again been thrust on the need for governmental reform in Pakistan. What has received particular attention is the fact that 14 year old Malala Yousafzai was protesting about the Pakistani education system, a system which receives less than 2% of the state budget every year.

As a country, Pakistan is home to 10% of the worlds out of school children.

This figure is going to result in Pakistan’s failure to meet one of the eight UN development goals, that of universal education. This is despite the fact that the Pakistani constitution states that all children aged 5-16 have the right to free education.

The fact that ‘all children’ are the words included in the constitution brings us to another problem with the Pakistani education system, that of getting girls the education they deserve.

In rural Pakistan in particular, there are deep-rooted anxieties over sending girls to school and particular northern tribal areas believe that educating girls is prohibited on religious grounds, a statement which is completely false. Although the figures for the population as a whole are shocking, those for girls are much, much worse.

United Nations figures place the literacy rate for girls under 15 at under 40%, demonstrating a real need for change in a country yearning to take its place

on the world stage. Campaigns such as March for Education and Ilmpossible run by the British Council, are seeking to encourage more young Pakistanis to stand up for their education rights and change the attitudes preventing Pakistan from developing.

“It is incredibly dangerous for young people to campaign for the education they are entitled to” What Malala’s case demonstrates is that it is incredibly dangerous for young people to campaign for the education they are entitled to. However, because of her shooting, the world is now watching Pakistan. Her shooting has sparked outrage and has brought to the forefront an issue which has plagued Pakistan since education policy was devolved to the provincial governments, a critical backwards step in Pakistan’s development.

As the number one recipient of British aid, Pakistan is definitely a country we should be concerned about. Pakistan is at a critical time in its history and it is clear from the shooting of this fourteen year old girl that Britain must do all it can to bring Pakistan into the 21st century, starting with education.

The Courier

comment.13

Monday 29 October 2012

Griffin gets his claws out

LYDIA CARROLL

ON THE BLOG

#3 - Crispello?

Crisp-hell no!

PREJUDICE

Nick Griffin has said people have the ‘right to discriminate.

Image: britishnationalism (Wikimedia)

GEORGIE MOULE COMMENT EDITOR

L

ast week a gay couple, Michael Black and John Morgan, successfully sued Susanne Wilkinson, a B & B owner, after they were refused a room at the establishment due to their sexuality. She was ordered to pay £3,600 in damages, which Black and Morgan said they would donate to charity.

Within a few hours, BNP leader and European Parliament member Nick Griffin took to Twitter, published the address of the couple, and claimed a ‘British Justice team’ would come and protest the ruling at the Black-Morgan household.

Griffin tweeted “A British Justice team will come up to [their address] & give you [Black and Morgan] a..bit of drama by way of reminding you that an English couple’s home is their castle. Say No to heterophobia!’ Yep. That’s right. That man represents the UK in Europe. Is it any wonder we never win Eurovision?

‘Heterophobia’? What even is that anyway? What straight person reading

this can possibly claim to have been victim to ‘heterophobia’? Nobody as far as I know has ever lost his or her job for being straight. Nobody has ever been beaten up by sinister looking gay men outside Powerhouse. No school child is bullied for being heterosexual, and nobody has ever been turned away from a B & B for being straight. Heterophobia?

Get a grip Nick. This reversal of who is being prejudice is clever, but you’re not convincing anyone.

It’s not only his terminology I have issue with, although ‘British Justice Team’ does sound like a shit version of The Avengers. Like a gang of prejudiced fat men in flat caps accompanied by a couple of whippets.

Speaking after the court ruling, Susanne Wilkinson said ““Equality laws have gone too far when they start to intrude into a family home.” But a B & B is not a family home. Ms Wilkinson had chosen to open up her home as a business for her own financial gain. Regardless of religion, the Wilkinson’s had no right to turn away customers purely because they didn’t agree with their lifestyle.

It is up to you who you invite into your home. I’d probably have an issue if I came home to find my housemates had invited a gang of crack addled prostitutes into my home, but then again, my home isn’t a business.

As soon as your home also becomes a business, you open it up to the paying public. It’s not up to you who the paying public are, unless they’re causing some sort of public disorder. As far as I’m concerned, homosexuality isn’t a public disorder offence.

“As soon as your home becomes a business, you open it to the paying public.

It’s not up to you who they are” Griffin went on to say that people have the ‘right to discriminate’. No, Nick. Just no. Nobody has the right to discriminate against, be it on grounds of sexuality, gender or colour. Even people I’d like to discriminate against, like people who

wear those shorts that are so short I can see their arse, have a right to a life free from discrimination.

In the 21st century, surely we have more important things to worry about than whether or not people love somebody of the same sex as them. We’ve got more important things to worry about, like boys wearing Ugg boots and thinking it’s acceptable.

Griffin seems to get more and more ridiculous with age. He’s an intelligent man, believe it or not. But in times like these, people turn to morons like Nick.

He claims to represent the ordinary white British citizen; terrified of change and anybody who’s not the same as them, and that’s what the prick thrives on.

Nicks argument seems to be that it is wrong for homosexuals to be afforded the same rights as heterosexuals have had for decades. His weird reversal of who is being prejudice is terrifying, and ridiculous. I just hope that next time he wants to generate headlines, he tries interpretive dance.

To respond to this week’s articles visit thecourieronline.co.uk/ comment

Ladies. How many times have you fallen to your knees in the middle of the newsagents and screamed, ‘but there’s just nothing here for me to eat AT ALL! All this unisex chocolate just isn’t doing it for my female specific needs!’

Well those suffragettes at Cadbury have come to save you, exactly as you needed to be saved! With a chocolate flavour paste and wafer abomination we can all enjoy as a treat, as part of our lifelong diet obsession. Marketed on the vague idea of being ‘lighter’, Cadbury brings us the Crispello, a tiny, re-sealable wafer and chocolate paste creation.

The ‘lighter’ concept is endemic at the moment – I’m looking at you, Maltesers, you delicious yet poorly advertised fuckers – and squarely aimed at women.

How are women supposed to get over their obsession with their weight and appearance when chocolate cashes in on their insecurity?

Crispello is being pushed on concept of restraining yourself – and believe me, I’m restraining myself right now, Cadbury. Obviously, you can save pretty much any chocolate for later, regardless of whether or not the packaging is resealable; but the concept of ‘restraint’ isn’t what I’m attacking here. It’s the outright shitty gender specific marketing and a press release to make you cringe. “Nearly every other countline on the fixture is a bar, which some women have told us can be quite intimidating and not easy to share,” said Kraft Foods brand manager Toby Smart. “The separate pieces in Crispello give them control over how they eat it.”

Seriously. Re-read that quote. It must have been chaos in the PR marketing boardroom the day they thought up this, presumably after everyone had been smoking something. Picture the scene: CEO: Alright chaps, we need a name for our ‘female friendly’ chocolate. Something that will get the women interested.

Before this whole ‘being a chick’ thing blows over.

Guy 3: Does anyone want some cocaine?

Guy 2: So the women don’t like chocolate, then?

CEO: Well, they’re intimidated by it at first, but once they open the bar, they just can’t control themselves.

Guy 2: So they do like chocolate, then?

They just hate themselves if they eat it?

CEO: Well, there’s a huge market in self loathing, Dave.

Guy 1: Do women even eat with their mouths? I’ve never seen it.

Guy 3: Does anyone want some more cocaine?

Guy 1: How about… Crispello?

Guy 2: Sounds like an Italian prostitute.

Guy 1: Women like those, right?

CEO: We’re all fired.

And what of the bar itself? Firstly, it’s tiny. Each ‘portion’ about the size of an average chocolate box piece. Save one piece for later? Control myself? I’ve inhaled bigger pieces of chocolate up my nose, by accident. In taste terms it’s sweet, underwhelming and insubstantial.

On a lighter note (not calorific ‘lighter’ either) I had a hell of a time finding the Crispello for sale in any shops at all, meaning that it’s possible that it’s been recalled from almost everywhere anyway. To be burned, hopefully, in pyre of chocolate paste and publicity regrets.

Would I recommend a Crispello? Not at all. So in your face, Cadbury.

14.features

Monday 29 October 2012

Cluny Tunes

Much-loved Newcastle music hub The Cluny celebrates its tenth anniversary this week. Music Editor Chris Haywood sat down with venue manager Thomas Bagnall to discuss its history, continued success and their famous beers and burgers

I

t’s fair to say that if you’re a music lover living in Newcastle, you’re likely to have at least heard of The Cluny, arguably the best live music setting in the city. Situated in the Ouseburn Valley, the venue has played host to bands including Arctic Monkeys, Maximo Park and Mumford & Sons since it first opened its doors thirteen years ago.

Speaking ahead of the celebrations, assistant manager Thomas claims that “the tenth anniversary is to celebrate ten years of the Head of Steam running it, which I believe was the beginning of November 2002, which is why we’re doing it on the first weekend of November this year.”

Thomas, who has worked at the venue for the last five and a half years, discussed the cultural revival that has transformed the valley, remarking that “the area had fallen into disrepair in the ‘80s and became a pretty much derelict area.” He holds the council responsible for the transformation, revealing they “had an initiative and put in loads of money encouraging businesses to move down here and The Cluny was in fact one of the first things to move.”

The local music scene in Newcastle was very different

Words: Matty Aston back in 1999.

“The city was crying out for a 300-400 person sized venue,” Thomas admits. At that point in time, places such as the o2 Academy and Digital (The Other Rooms) didn’t exist. “There was a bit of a void for mid-sized venues, which is probably why the original owners decided to set this up as a venue.”

The Cluny itself has undergone few changes over the years.

“It’s had a few coats of paint, the floor’s been done a few times, but the general layout not so much,” declares Thomas. That’s probably one of the main factors behind its rich history, with the assistant manager claiming “the amount of bands that come here and say ‘The Cluny in Newcastle is one of my favourite venue’ is really nice to hear and I hope that it does impact on them and their careers.”

Certainly the main improvement in recent years was the opening of Cluny 2 in May 2009, which Thomas openly admits has “been the biggest development since I’ve been here.” The 160-capacity theatre-style venue is conveniently located two floors down in the building next door to The Cluny and now attracts widespread interest.

“It took a while to get started,” Thomas recalls. “I think people were a bit sceptical about a different venue.”

These early troubles were soon overcome however, with the help of one of their oldest independent promoters, Jumpin’ Hot Club, who specialise in blues, country, roots

and Americana. They showcase an array of solo artists perfectly suited to the intimate setting and according to Thomas.

“They now do more of their stuff in Cluny 2 than they do in here [The Cluny].”

Regarding its progression, Thomas states: “It took 12-18 months to get the bookings in to make it look how we wanted it to and now it’s only getting 3-4 bookings less [than The Cluny]. This last month we had 45 gigs across both venues,” he discloses. “It’s about the same for November.” This can only mean good things for the future.

It’s obvious Thomas is very happy with the newfound success of Cluny 2, a view that’s reflected in his punters.

“We like them and they like us,” he claims. “We always try to promote a relaxed atmosphere. If they want to come to a gig and have a good time or if they want to come to a pub and relax and put whatever worries they have to one side, we try to promote that. We hope they keep coming.”

Clearly they’ve found their secret to success and with a bar – voted runner up in The Observer’s ‘Best Place To Drink’ 2011 monthly awards – boasting a wide selection of real ales and world lagers, and a kitchen serving homecooked food daily – including those famous Cluny burgers – what more could anyone want?

The venue, through its work with various independent promoters, caters for pretty much everything.

“We have jazz acts once a month, Jumpin’ Hot Club, who do roots and Americana, and Canny Gigs, who specialise in blues, so we do have a broad spectrum of music,” Thomas declares. ‘The gigs we do ourselves, of which there are about five or six a month, tend to be indie rock kind of stuff because that’s what we know.”

Nevertheless, the North East music scene remains of upmost importance to the management.

“We always try to put local bands on wherever possible and we like to vary the slots with lots of different local bands so they all get a chance to play to a bigger audience,” insists Thomas. “We’ve had lots of local bands who have gone on to bigger things since playing here.

A lot of the bands that enjoy playing here come back.”

This diversity of acts and fondness for the venue is perhaps responsible for their sustained popularity over the years.

“I would say that ticket sales are pretty steady,” Thomas discloses. “We tend to sell more tickets online than we did before, that’s just the way the market is now. We’re just moving with how things are changing generally.”

Some may think that being situated outside of the city centre may be detrimental to their success and deter potential customers, but Thomas is convinced that couldn’t be further from the truth.

“For the kind of hardcore music fans, we always think that if they move to a new city they’re going to find out new venues regardless of where they are,” he states. “I think it helps that we’re pretty much under Byker Bridge which is a big landmark so it’s easy to tell people where we are.”

The new transport service in operation, taking

The Courier

people to and from the Quayside, has also proved extremely beneficial.

“In the last few years, Go North East has introduced the QuayLink bus which goes pretty much to our door, so that helps,” Thomas confesses. “We’d prefer to stay here rather than move into the city centre. There’s too much history invested in this place and I don’t think it’d be the same if we moved elsewhere.”

Looking ahead to the future and a prospective twentieth anniversary, the assistant manager insisted The Cluny would still be just as relevant to the Newcastle music scene in ten years time.

“People will still want to go and see bands and people will always want to go to good bars and good clubs. We’ve got one of the widest range of spirits and drafts to rival anyone in the city, and people seem to really like the food,” Thomas continues. “I don’t see why we shouldn’t be here in ten years time, provided we keep doing what we’re doing.”

For the moment, the venue is staying where it is, and Thomas seems happy in where he is.

“It’s not always as interesting and as fun as it sounds but I do realise how lucky I am to work here,” he admits. “I really enjoy it and if I moved on in ten years time I don’t think I’d enjoy any job as much as I do this one.”

The Courier

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Monday 29 October 2012

The Crème de la Cluny Mike Slaski remembers four landmark shows that have taken place on that famous stage over the last decade

Cluny views

The Courier catches up with some of the biggest names in the region, who have witnessed the evolution of this landmark venue first-hand...

1

Arctic Monkeys 1st August 2005

It was 2005 and a fresh-faced Arctic Monkeys were playing the final gig of their first UK tour. It also happened to be their first show in the North East. The Cluny was packed to the rafters with punters waiting eagerly to see what all the fuss was about. After all, Arctic Monkeys were in the process of taking Britain by storm. The venue soon pulsated to the sounds of ‘I Bet You Look Good on the Dancefloor’, ‘Fake Tales of San Francisco’ and ‘Mardy Bum’. The volume of the crowd’s singa-long was reportedly so loud that Turner’s vocals were only just audible. The significance of this show has only grown over time as Arctic Monkeys continue to be a dominant force in British music; the few who were lucky enough to caught them that night chanced to see them at the outset of their genesis.

2

The New York Dolls 8th September 2010

Considered by some to be the original punk rockers, The New York Dolls are a band of international acclaim.

Fortunately for the people of Newcastle, they chose to play three shows at the Cluny having heard of the venue’s reputation as a local music hub. The shows were sweaty, hot and passionate; at one point, the band even proclaimed they should change their name to ‘The Newcastle Dolls’.

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The Futureheads 20th April 2011

The Futureheads Do you regularly attend The Cluny?

Certainly, over the past 10 years I’ve been there countless times. I’ve got some very fond memories of nights and days at The Cluny; for one, I met my wife there in 2005.

How would you describe The Cluny?

The Cluny is probably my favourite place to play in the North East and my favourite place to see bands also. It’s got better and better over the years too. It has all the boxes ticked - the drink, the food, the sound, the staff, the atmosphere and the programming of the music are all great. In that sense it’s certainly the best venue of it’s type in the North East and probably the focal point for a lot of people

When did you lose your Cluny virginity?

It must’ve been about 12 years ago now. It used to just have lots of local bands playing so you’d have 30 people in a room that fills 300; a lot of friends’ bands played their actually. In fact, I think me and Jaff played a gig there in probably like 1999; I think that was probably the first time I’d set foot in there to be honest.

like the idea of going down and being surprised. It’s a good venue for that.

Do you regularly attend The Cluny?

Yeah, all the time. It was one of our regular spots. I still think it is to be honest; we’ve always spent a lot of time there really.

What do you feel the legacy of The Cluny is?

It’s certainly contributed to the health of the local music scene. Without it it would have been that little bit harder for bands like ourselves, Maximo Park and Field Music. For us, when we were at the stage where we could sell The Cluny out we felt like we’d achieved something. I also think the legacy is that it’s brought a certain level of artist to the city that nobody had catered for until The Cluny had arrived.

How would you describe The Cluny?

I think it’s a bit of a hub: it’s definitely got a lot of energy and a lot of people go there. The one thing about The Cluny too is that I quite like how you can just head down there and you don’t necessarily have to know too much about who’s playing; you can just get involved and catch some stuff, I quite

Lewis Lister

who care about live music.

Do you feel that it’s become the epicentre of the music scene in the North East?

Over the years, I think The Cluny’s been very important for emerging music from the region. It’s size and quality means it does the double-whammy of being able to put on a variety of established touring acts as well as showcasing new music from the region, and without being genre specific. The Cluny serves up music that inspires new music, and then gives it a platform. It did just that for me and continues to.

Chris Haywood

When did you lose your Cluny virginity?

It was in like 1997 or 1998, before it got taken over by the Head of Steam. It was one of the first places we ever played in fact!

Little Comets

Where do you see The Cluny in ten years time?

I think because of the fact that it’s so well supported and well loved by people in the region I can’t see it doing anything other than going from strength to strength.

Do you regularly attend The Cluny?

Aye! They promote and put on some acts and it’s really an eclectic mix of artists. Plus it’s got a great bar area so I sometimes go there just for a drink.

Field Music Where do see you The Cluny in 10 years time? Do you think it’s still a relevant venue today and will still be in the future?

It is good that we have The Cluny, because they show music that is interesting – a bit ‘different’. Often in city centres, the music venues can become a bit satirised. As long as it retains its individuality it will definitely still be a relevant venue in the future.

Jenny Hopps

Hailing from Sunderland, The Futureheads have achieved national recognition with numerous albums and singles in the UK charts. Although more intimate than venues they tend to play, they came to The Cluny to headline a Japanese Tsunami Relief benefit, supported by some of the best musicians in the North East. The atmosphere’s solemn and relaxed as the band play an acoustic set, bantering extensively with the crowd and giving everyone a truly intimate experience all in the name of a charitable cause.

Do you feel that The Cluny’s become the epicentre of the music scene in the North East?

I think it’s fair to say that. I’ve seen early gigs there from The Futureheads, Maximo Park and many more exciting local artists with a strong DIY ethic; the past ten years have seen countless great local bands cut their teeth there. There’s plenty of practices rooms, pubs, venues & other creative spaces in the Ouseburn which gives it a community feel with The Cluny being the backbone of this.

Do you feel The Cluny will have the longevity to stay around for another ten years? Why? The reputation of the venue and the people who work there will ensure its longevity. The way they work with regional artists and promoters is crucial and the hospitality they extend to touring artists means they often return or do two nights instead of moving to a larger venue.

4

The Birthday Celebrations...

Thursday 1st November Minotaurs / The Lake Poets

Saturday 3rd November The Futureheads / Young Liar

The Cluny’s Tenth Anniversary Weekender kicks off with a joint headline show. Minotaurs’ haunting melodies: the beautiful folksy sound of the Lake Poets, and free entry… you’d be mad not to go.

The critically acclaimed Futureheads will be performing their 2004 self-titled debut to a sold out venue, with support from the enchanting instrumental rock sound of Young Liar. The atmosphere is bound to be energetically electrifying.

Friday 2nd November Field Music / Warm Digits

Sunday 4th November The Dreaming Spires / Kontiki Suite

The second night of the Anniversary Weekender sees Field Music returning to the Cluny, a band on the rise and unwaveringly supportive of the venue. With close friends Warm Digits supporting, it promises to be a great gig.

The Anniversary Weekender rounds off in style with the impressive musicality of The Dreaming Spires and the psychedelic Kontiki Suite taking to the stage, a suitably impressive gig to end the Anniversary Weekender.

Th’Legendary Shack Shakers 27th April 2012

Th’Legendary Shack Shakers are from Kentucky and the singer is a real-life Colonel.

They play a barnstorming blend of hillbilly, punk, blues, country and polka they call ‘agridustrial’. Their live show is relentless, and tonight was no exception; the Colonel, a back-flipping, crowd-taunting, harmonic-abusing maniac, was without doubt on form. It doesn’t take long for a bare-chested psychobilly mosh-pit to form; everybody gets their rocks off and an amazing time is had by all.

Chris Haywood

Generator

Charlie Dearnley

16.features

Monday 29 October 2012

The Courier

Whey-aye ain’t afraid of nee ghosts, pet

As Halloween approaches from the fog, Features Editor Tom Nicholson is here to give you the lowdown on the terrifying twilight world of Newcastle’s resident ghouls Ours is an ancient city - there has been a settlement here on the banks of the Tyne since the Romans built a fort named Pons Aelius in around 122 AD. Naturally, this means you can barely move for ghosts, poltergeists and disgruntled spirits. Here is just a small selection of the supernatural shenanigans which mark out Newcastle as a spectral centre...

Jane Jameson

Town Moor and near John Wesley’s memorial, Ouseburn The trial of Jane Jameson for the murder of her mother was a local sensation in Newcastle. The Newcastle Weekly Chronicle of March 7th 1829 describes how, “so great was the interest excited by this trial…by the time that the proceedings commenced the court was crowded in every part”, even in spite of an 8am start. The prosecution alleged that Jameson had stabbed her mother through the chest with a hot poker while drunk, after the latter had called the former a whore and accused her of killing two of her children. Jameson’s defence certainly sounds less than watertight: by way of explaining the blood-stained poker on the floor and the pints of blood pumping from a hole “the size of a shilling” in her mother’s chest, she told the first witness to the scene that her mother

had simply fainted and fallen onto the poker, then attempted to frame her boyfriend William “Billy Elly” Elliott.

One imagines her defence lawyer was a nineteenth century version of Lionel Hutz from The Simpsons. Somewhat unsurprisingly, Jameson was found guilty and hanged on the Town Moor, not that this marked the end of the public interest in her trial: while she lay in state after execution, “several thousands” of people came to view her.

Her ghost has been seen both on the Moor and near the Wesley memorial, calling for her boyfriend to come back to her. Talk about clingy.

a girlfriend. If my girlfriend stabbed her mum then tried to frame me, I’d probably give her a wide berth for the next 183 years too. I wouldn’t touch her with yours, Billy me old son.

FRIGHT FACTOR: Quite apart from the dead mum, I feel very sorry for Billy Elly here – Jane Jameson sounds like a bloody nightmare of

Bob Crowther

The Mill Volvo Tyne Theatre, near Central Station Actors are a deeply superstitious bunch (fun fact: Sir Kenneth Branagh carries a sack of horseshoes wrapped in four-leaf clovers everywhere with him, and will refuse to go on stage without his rabbits’ feet earrings), but those treading the boards at the Tyne Theatre perhaps have more reason than most. The story goes that Bob Crowther was a stage hand at the theatre before it was turned into a cinema in 1919, and was enjoying a quick sit down next to a trough down which cannonballs were rolled to simulate the sound of thunder. Unfortunately for Bob, a cannonball was rolled down the trough with rather too much velocity and it leapt Tyne & Wear Museums Archive

off the end, cracking Bob’s skull and killing him instantly. Poor old Bobbles. During the renovation of the Tyne Theatre in the mid-1980s (it was restored in the mid-seventies by volunteers, then burnt down because they put in faulty wiring. You pay peanuts, you get monkeys) Bob’s ghost was blamed for workmen’s tools going missing and sudden cold blasts of air. He’s now said to push roughly past people as they walk around backstage and can sometimes be seen in his favourite seat, waiting for a show to begin.

FRIGHT FACTOR: Bob seems a bit of a lightweight in comparison to murderin’ Jane Jameson. I get

shoved about a bit on the Metro on a daily basis. Sure, I used to burst into tears, but I’ve learnt to cope with it now. Old Bobbles can shove me all he likes, I’m not arsed. Bob can fuck off.

The Courier

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Monday 29 October 2012

Bakt-hor-Nekhmtarket

Jack the Beadle

ay

Hancock Museum, H

Hancock MuIf you’ve not been to thea treat. They’ve seum, you’re missing plays and secgot natural history dis ient human tions dedicated to ancwith the chief history and prehistory,ual, proper, rehighlight being an act y, unwrapped al-life Egyptian mummas still having and on show. As well kt-hor-Nekht her hair and nails, Ba s) has report(Bakky to her friend ess for moondn fon a ed ain ret edly witnesses have light wanderings, as om mummy ant ph a reported seeing r of the stalking the upper flooe would On ht. nig at ing build ed imagine she’s still irks by the travesty that wa The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor and is attempting to find a way of contact-

nt. ing Brendan Fraser’s age This one does FRIGHT FACTOR: and certainly , epy cre bit sound a d old Bakky those who have visite irdly leathery we herself and seen her disturbingly skin, truncated nose andwill agree that n sio res exp ed slack-jaw me. Meeting she’s a little past her pri e being molik be her would basically City Vaults of le nte clie the by lested u. and Bamb

All Saints Church, Quayside Also known as ‘Bad Beadle’, Jack’s role as a beadle meant he was involved in the day-to-day admin of running a church, and appears to have been a very well-liked member of his community before he got himself nicked for exhuming coffins and stealing the lead from inside in order to sell it. Nice one, dickhead. If you’re having trouble imagining a beadle, visualise Mr Bumble from Oliver Twist, then add in a crowbar and a flagrant disregard for the feelings of the dead. According to local legend, Jack now wanders around All Saints churchyard, looking for more opportunities for plumbum pillaging.

Presumably he’s no relation to You’ve Been Framed host and all-round lovely

bloke Jeremy the Beadle.

FRIGHT FACTOR: All Saints churchyard is very creepy at the best of times, in spite of being sandwiched awkwardly between a main road and the Tyne. The thought of a bloke bowling about digging up corpses and soiling the good name of Beadle is almost too painful to bear.

The Lonely Fresher

e

Henderson Hall student residenc the There are reports going back to at mid-2000s of a supernatural presenceof a Henderson Hall, reputedly the spirit h young undergraduate’s social life whicof died a lingering death in the wastes e Heaton. Witnesses have heard a voicof echoing down corridors in the deady, I night, crying plaintively: “No reall like the peace and quiet, I get more work done”; “The buses are quite reliable, actually”; “I’m getting really good at table tennistenn is-te nnis …”

The deceased social life has been tracked to one Alan a Stevens,

The Faded Nun

who former resident of Henderson Hall the now attributes the appearance of ghostly voice to his chronic lack of inter s: “I action while camped out in the stick sSain sive mas the that end tried to pret and bury’s made up for a life of isolation can solitude. Slightly cheaper curly fries ” solve a lot of life’s problems, but not this.

FRIGHT FACTOR: I may never sleep again. Chilling.

Bentinck Road, Arthur’s H

ill

In 2002, a woman and her chil to up sticks and from their houd decided FRIGHT FACTOR: Nuns are not scary. west end of town after the mose in the I’ve never met a bad nun. They dodported seeing a semi-transluce ther re- der about feeding ducks and making dressed in a nun’s habit drift nt figure up elaborate secret handshakes with down her corridor before disaing slowly each other. They’re all like really nice ppearing. grandmas. Who She also described other generic wouldn’t want another geist-based shenanigans – sma polter- grandma? I’ll have as many as I can get. being thrown, toys suddenly ll objects I’ll take yours off your hands if you don’t want her. Grandmas are bril turned on in the middle of the being liant. This woman should have sold me night without any cause, her house. household items going missing – in the run-up to the nun making her full entrance.

The scale of scared Shitting bricks

Mildly perturbed Not even arsed

Illustrations: Francesca Ede

Bit worried now

Macaulay Culkin

18.features

Monday 29 October 2012

‘Cause this is thriller

The Courier Fashion and Beauty team prove you’re never too old for fancy dress by embracing some gorgeously gory home-made Halloween costume ideas

The Courier

The Courier

Monday 29 October 2012

features.19

Photography: Danny Georgieva Models: (from left to right on group picture) Georgia Morgan, Holly Zoccolan, Jack O’Toole, Georgina Grant and Amy O’Rourke Make-up: Annie Morgan, Amy Macauley and Emma Hill Directed by: Elissa Hudson, Lizzie Hampson and Sally Greenwood

20.fashion

Monday 29 October 2012

The Courier

Fashion Editors: Elissa Hudson and Lizzie Hampson Online Fashion Editor: Sally Greenwood

Monster mash

Are you lacking inspiration for inventive dressing-up ideas? Fear not - Fashion Editors Elissa Hudson and Lizzie Hampson bring you the details on the costumes featured in our Halloween photo-shoot

The Zombie Nurse

The Black Swan

The Skeleton

The Vampire

Possibly the most terrifying of all the outfits, the ‘Zombie Nurse’ is surprisingly easy and cheap to create. Believe it or not, the nurses uniform is from Poundland! This leaves money left to spend on fake blood and extra accessories such as these red and white stripy socks.

For this look, the more fake blood the better, smother it on bandages and wrap them around your neck and arms for a gory effect.

The makeup for the zombie nurse isn’t difficult to achieve, simply use white face paint as a base and use a dark coloured eye shadow to make your features look hollow.

Being a ballerina was a dream that most of our 6-year-old selves had, so here is the perfect excuse to make that dream come true! Even if it is a scary, slightly psychotic version...

It is simple yet effective and is an elegant compromise between going out in your underwear mean girls style and covering yourself head to toe in bloody bandages.

This look is surprisingly easy to create, most high street stores will sell cheap black ballerina style dresses, add some heels or pumps, some fake blood and the costume is almost complete!

If you’re not the most skilled when it comes to make up, a feathered mask can look just as convincing.

If you fancy having a go at making a quick and easy DIY costume, then dressing up as a skeleton is a good option.

This outfit was made from a white vest bought from the men’s section in Primark. As it’s oversized it can easily be worn as a dress paired with a pair of skeleton printed tights. Creepers make a perfect addition to this outfit, but it could easily be dressed up with a pair of heels.

The skeleton make-up really completes the costume and is well worth spending a little time on.

Find out how Beauty Editor, Annie Morgan, did it at www.thecourieronline.co.uk/beauty.

For a step-by-step tutorial on how to make the costume, flick to the lifestyle pages.

If face paint and costumes really aren’t your thing, dressing up as a vampire allows you to look nice for a night out whilst still getting into the Halloween spirit.

A black corset is perfect for Halloween fancy dress and you can usually pick one up for around £10 in Primark at this time of year. For the bottom half, a pair of thick black leggings balance things out and prevent the whole outfit from being too revealing.

Heels would dress the costume up for a night out, or you could opt for flats if you’re just going to a house party.

If you’re brave enough, wear a vampy purple lipstick, a black smoky eye and a paler foundation than you usually would to finish it off.

Top tips for Halloween fancy dress

Online Fashion Editor Sally Greenwood makes dressing for Halloween scarily simple.

Budget

Shop early

Always remember that you’ll only be wearing this costume once. You may think you’ll wear it again next year but being realistic you probably won’t, so don’t spend too much. You don’t want to be the only one kitted out in an authentic 16th century vampire costume when your mates are in bin-bags.

If this is your first Halloween in Newcastle, I can assure you that you will have never seen a longer queue outside a fancy dress shop in your life, so try to steer clear of Magic Box. Places like Xtras, Claire’s and even Accessorize offer reasonably priced accessories. Also, never underestimate the power of Wilkinson, they always have a cheaper alternative.

Accessorise In order to make an extremely cheap outfit look good, you must adorn yourself with even cheaper accessories. You’re going to see numerous versions of the outfit you’re in on Halloween, so choosing the correct accessories will ensure you stand out in the crowd. Think outside the box for this; cheap, fake cobweb tablecloths make beautiful cloaks and a Poundland pumpkin lantern is just asking to be used as a handbag.

Choose a theme Choosing a costume theme for yourself and more than one other is always a good idea. Dressing up to a particular theme in a large group of friends means that you enter your Halloween destination as a troop of identicallydressed characters, which is always much more effective.

Dress for the occasion

Be selective with your make-up

Always bear in mind where you will be showcasing your outfit. You can get away with more at house parties than if you decide to brave the Toon on Halloween. Remember, your tiny tutu skirt and six inch heels may look great at home, but a stroll through Bigg Market will make you wish you’d worn something a little less revealing.

This should go without saying, but don’t use your favourite red lipstick as ‘blood’, and don’t use your expensive black eye-shadow to hollow out your cheekbones. That said, be wary of cheap face paints as they could wreak havoc with your skin. Try using make-up from cheap brands you can find in Boots and Superdrug instead of whatever Poundland has to offer!

The Courier

fashion.21

Monday 29 October 2012

thecourieronline.co.uk/fashion c2.fashion@ncl.ac.uk | @Courier_Fashion

Dress your way to success

With graduate interviews looming, Claire McNiffe gives us some tips on how you can dress for success when the time comes

DO Wear something you feel comfortable in.

If you feel uncomfortable with how you look, it shows. An important interview isn’t the time to experiment with your style, so go with what you know suits you to ensure you feel confident.

Plan your outfit the night before.

Rummaging around your floordrobe half an hour before leaving the house will leave you stressed and flustered, so plan ahead!

Spend a bit of time beautifying yourself. Make sure your nail polish is chip-free and your eyebrows are well groomed; if you turn up looking unkempt it might imply that you are lazy.

Outfit one - Monochrome This outfit embodies all things any fail-safe interview outfit should. The flat shoes eliminate any risk of toppling over, making them perfect for heel-wary girls, whilst the smoking slipper style keeps the outfit looking bang up to date. The dogtooth shift dress is a definite investment piece; it’s smart enough to use for interviews but could also be worn casually without tights or even with a blouse underneath.

Black and white are safe colours to choose for interviews, as they are neutral, allowing you to be remembered for your personality rather than for your cerise pink dress. With this outfit no statement jewellery is required, so leave

Dress: £21, Primark Jacket: £26, Primark Bag: £50, Accessorize Shoes: £14, Matalan your chunky cuffs at home and opt for delicate silver pieces which will look understated and classic.

Finally, this black leather tote contrasts practicality with style, making it the ideal interview handbag. Due to its oversized nature, the bag pictured is perfect for carrying around everything you might need for your interview (with enough room to bring along the kitchen sink if you wanted).

Check the dress code expectations of the company you are interviewing for.

There’s nothing worse than feeling over or underdressed. Some companies, often media-related ones, have really relaxed dress codes, so something smart-casual like outfit two would be perfect.

Try to relax!

Whilst looking good can boost your confidence, what you’re ultimately being judged on is how well they think you can do the job, so don’t spend too much time stressing over what you look like and be prepared for any questions that may be thrown your way.

DON’T

Wear red lipstick.

Even if it looks great on you, research shows that red lipstick is considered sexual and can intimidate potential future colleagues and employers, so go for something similar to your natural lip colour instead.

Outfit two - Smart-casual For those who are after an interview look with a more modern twist, why not try combining tailoring and floaty fabrics to create a professional yet contemporary image? High-waisted trousers are the perfect alternative to the typical pencil skirt, particularly ones with muted colours as they enhance rather than overpower an outfit. The tapered leg of these trousers makes them the perfect length to wear with smart courts for a fresh interview look.

A chiffon blouse, such as this white one, is a great way to add a feminine touch to a tailored look, especially one that buttons all the way up, avoiding any chance of cleavage flashing. Although, beware when selecting your underwear when wearing delicate fabrics such as chiffon (a purple spotty bra is not acceptable, even if it is your lucky one).

As for accessories, understated belts are a welcome addition to a successful interview outfit, again go for a neutral colour, like the tan one pictured.

Whilst they provide an individualistic character to your outfit, belts also deliver an immediate slimming effect, hallelujah! For this look, a less structured bag complements the tailored nature of the outfit, whilst still having the capacity to hold all of your interview must-haves.

Show too much flesh.

A just-above-the knee dress can look sophisticated and ladylike with a pair of heels, but avoid wearing anything mid-thigh length as this might be considered provocative.

Shirt: £35, River Island Trousers: £16, Primark Bag: £30, Accessorize Shoes: £75, Dune

Wear your skyscraper ‘going out’ heels.

No matter how good they make your legs look, you will regret it once the foot cramp kicks in and the blisters appear just before you go into your interview.

Elissa Hudson

Monday 29 October 2012

beauty.23

Beauty Editor: Annie Morgan Online Beauty Editor: Amy Macauley

thecourieronline.co.uk/beauty courier.beauty@ncl.ac.uk | @Courier_Beauty

The Courier

How to: TwoTone Lips

Two-tone lips are right on trend this Autumn/ Winter and this look has been popular on the catwalk. Make sure to pair this bold lipstick look with more natural, minimal looking make-up on the rest of your face, making your lips the real statement.

Step 1:

Tip of the week

Molly Deaville explains how to make the most of your eye colour with the help of the Bobbi Brown make-up artists in John Lewis.

Blue Eyes

Warm tones and colours are the best for showing off blue eyes. During the evening, try a chocolate brown smokey eye to achieve a sultry look.

During the day, a bronze colour Top Tip: According to with neat black the Bobbi Brown maker eyeliner on the up artists, lining the inne rims of your eyes with black top of your eyeeyeliner will create a stark lids will effortlessly enhance contrast to your blue eyes the colour of and will make your eyes really pop. your eyes.

Green Eyes

Make the most of your unusual trait by using purple and soft grey coloured eye shadows.

For evenings your can create a purple smokey eye using a mix of blacks and dark purples or go classic with a lilac or plum lid. Wear black eyeliner on the lid and inner rims of your eyes to make your eyes stand out even more! During the day go for softer grey and brown coloured eye shadows.

Top Tip: Use a base eye your eyelids before puttinshadow all over to prevent it falling undern g on eye shadow eath you ensure it lasts the night! r eyes and

Brown Eyes

If you have light brown or hazel eyes, sage and khaki green colour shadows will really suit you.

For a night out, try mixing dark sparkling blues on your lids and just under your waterline. Apply a dark charcoal shadow in the crease and finish it all off by tight lining your upper/inner lid and your bottom waterline with a dark eyeliner.

Firstly, prep your lips by applying a heavy lip balm, let it work into the lips and then exfoliate lightly with a toothbrush. If you like, you can apply a foundation all over the lips, this will work as a primer and help your lipstick stay in place.

Step 2:

easy to apply, Top Tip: Gel eyeliners areon your skin than ger lon last and less e smudg pencil eyeliners!

Check out The Courier Online for a list of all the Bobbi Brown products used.

Best Beauty Halloween Buy Whether you are dressing up as a bloody zombie or a wicked witch, no Halloween look is complete without the make up to go along with it.

With so many spooky limited edition items available to buy, you won’t be stuck for something to add the scary finishing touches to your Halloween outfit this year.

The nail experts at Barry M have released a special Web Effect Nail Paint, just in time for Halloween. This is a twist on the original crackling and croc effects.

In a striking pumpkin orange shade, this will look perfect teamed with a black or dark coloured undercoat. Then finish it off with a clear topcoat, to add extra shine and to prevent any chipping before the big day – but hurry this item is limited edition and on offer so it will not be around for long!

Price Tag? £3.99.

Where can you get it? Superdrug.

Safiya Ahmed

Autumn Beauty Trends You now want to line your lips with a lip liner that will match the darker colour of your two lip colour choices. For this look, I’ve chosen a deep red, but you can be adventurous with your colour choices. This doesn’t have to be perfect as it will be blended out later.

Step 3:

Next, fill in the rest of your lips with the lighter colour lipstick. It doesn’t matter if you go a bit over the lip liner as you can reapply that at the end when neatening the look up.

Step 4:

Lastly, use your dark coloured lipstick and liner to line your lips and gradually fill in the outer corners of your lips, blending it into the lighter colour. However, do keep blending to a minimal at this point otherwise you will lose the intense red you have just applied. You still want there to be two distinct colours.

Hayley Durrant and Annie Morgan

Autumn is here and darker, brown toned make-up is back with a vengeance. No more need for the bright corals and pastels that dominated during the Summer period. This season it is all about demure smokey eye makeup, deep red lips and strong nails. Rachel Spedding breaks all the trends down.

Copper Eyes Autumn time signifies the start of festive occasions meaning make-up is allowed to be a little more glamorous. The season of golden leaves inspires an eye look to reflect it and a copper smokey eye does just that. The look returns to magazine covers every year during autumn and is a timeless classic sure to make any eye colour stands out.

Although copper and red toned colour may seem a little scary, they really help make your eye colour stand out!

Red Lips Blood-stained lips are a recurring favourite during Autumn season. Popular on this season’s catwalk, the burgundy stain allows the rest of make-up to be kept minimal and all impact to remain on the lips.

From scarlet red to deep purples and browns, various shades of red are certain to keep you on trend this season.

If you are not sure you are brave enough to wear a deep burgundy lip, try a more cherry toned lip stain. Lip stains are less hassle and not as bold.

Pink Cheeks The ‘flushed English Rose’ pink-cheek look is an essential autumn trend. This means getting caught out in the freezing Newcastle weather is finally a beauty staple, so keep layering the blusher or spend a good ten minutes outdoors and let the bitter chill of the Toon work its magic!

If you don’t fancy freezing out in the cold, opt for a rose toned blusher for a natural looking flush.

Cream blushers are best for creating a more natural effect.

Not everyone is patient enough to bother with nail art. If you are one of these people, you can always try nail wraps, as the hard work is done for you. You just need to peel and place. They also last much longer than normal nail varnish.

If you are strapped for cash, you don’t need to save up for a highend blusher when the Natural Collection range at Boots sell beautiful, good quality blushers for just £1.99

Statement Nails The statement nails trend is still popular this year and this autumn purple nails are prevailing.

As Halloween is here, it gives us an excuse to add glitter and sequins to our nails to dress things up.

A combination of purple and orange/gold is reflective of carving pumpkins and trick-or-treat Dairy Milk chocolate so this is a perfect way to dress up your nails for Halloween whilst still looking good.

Search for that glitter you ‘forgot’ to throw our last year and get painting!

24.listings22-28October

Monday 29 October 2012

The Courier

Listings Editor: Sally Priddle

Monday Built Around you: Board Game Evening 6.30pm 188 Simonside Terrace, Heaton

4 local artists throughout October have been creating new work responding to ideas of residence, transience and hospitality.

Join them for a night of classic board games (completely free) and experience their custom BUILT AROUND YOU game.

The Cribs 7pm O2 Academy

Three-piece indie rock band, best known for their single ‘Men’s Needs’.

Tickets £18 available from O2 Academy website.

Tuesday LifeSaving Sessions with The Anthony Nolan Trust 9am-5pm Main entrance of the Medical School

Chance to sign up to the Anthony Nolan Bone Marrow Trust.

CSSA’s Halloween Party 11pm Blu Bamboo

CSSA’s (Chinese Student Scholars Association) exciting and unique Halloween experience.

Early Bird tickets for £5 from Undergraduate Space at the Business School 2nd Floor.

Homemade Jam 8pm MensBar

Your chance to show off your music skills. All welcome!

Tyneside Scary Film Week: Psycho and Grindlounge: Deep Red 8.35pm Tyneside Cinema

To celebrate Halloween Tyneside Cinema are putting on a week of creepy cult classics, which gives you the chance to experience some need to see, great but disturbing films.

The week is being kicked off with one of the best: Psycho. Demonstrating some of Hitchcock’s genius this shocker is sure to have you sitting uncomfortably.

As stylish as it is unsettling, Dario Argento’s classic murder mystery unfolds when a musician witnesses the murder of a famous psychic. With sumptuous gore and one of Goblin’s most haunting soundtracks.

Wednesday Tim Burgess 7pm Students’ Union

Lead singer of The Charlatans who has recently published his autobiography, doing what he does best.

Tickets £16.50

Thursday

Twin Atlantic

7pm O2 Academy

After playing as part of Radio 1’s rock week last week, this is your chance to see the Scottish rock act up close and sweaty.

Supported by Charlie Simpson and Dead Sara Tickets £13.50 available from O2 Academy website.

Frankenstein

31 October - 1 November, 2.15 pm & 7.45pm Theatre Royal

Join the Revellers on Hallow’s Eve as they recreate the classic tale of Dr. Frankenstein and his creature.

This monstrous story is brought to life in the style of a live radio show.

Tickets from £10 from website or Box Office

Burial Ground 11pm-3am Students’ Union

Official Sports night with a spooky twist.

Free entry before 12 for sports teams/£4 guest list

The Cluny 10th Anniversary Weekend Kick-Off 1-4 November, 7pm The Cluny, Ouseburn Valley

The Cluny’s four-day Tenth Anniversary celebration starts with a free, co-headline gig featuring Minotaurs and The Lake Poets.

If you have never been to the venue before now is your chance to experience why it become a centre of music in Newcastle.

The Courier

22-28Octoberlistings.25

Monday 29 October 2012

thecourieronline.co.uk/listings courier.listings@ncl.ac.uk | @Courier_Listings

Friday

Rossi Noise 6.30pm Students’ Union

Rossi Noise fuse dubstep, dance, drum and bass, hip hop and rock into cinematic proportions.

Tickets £5 on sale from the Union reception

Uprawr

10.30pm-3am Students’ Union Newcastle’s new alternative night, bringing you great music and drinks deals. £5 entry with an N.U.S Card

Something for the weekend CCTV

Saturday 3 November, 11pm Students’ Union

What is now known as a classic night in Newcastle. If you have yet to experience the chaos that is CCTV, get down to the Union on Saturday and let the pandamonium begin.

Alice: Rocky Horror Show with Dutty Moonshine Live 11pm-3.30am Digital

Tickets available from £5

Not in Newcastle...

With the Metro going to Sunderland, trains to Durham only £5 return with a Railcard and special weekend deals on trains and buses to Scotland there really is no excuse for your weekend or evening activities to be limited to the Toon. Expand your horizons and find out what the whole of the North East and beyond has to offer.

A Midsummer Night’s Dream at Edinburgh’s Royal Lyceum Theatre

Middlesborough’s Gallery TS1: Christmas Market

Classic theatre in a classic venue. A show that promises to be nothing less than phenomenal.

“Unrequited and unwanted love abounds in possibly the most magical of Shakespeare’s comedies.” Make a night or a weekend of it, it is definitely worth the trip.

Tickets from £14.50 available from the Royal Lyceum Theatre’s website.

Worried that you will end up with the same Christmas gifts as everybody else? Or just feeling utterly uninspired? This is your chance to buy unique and affordable gifts.

More information can be found at www. galleryts1.co.uk

15 October- 24 December

19 October- 17 November

Radio show of the week: Cat Amongst the Pigeons The NSR Rock Show

Daniel Sloss

Specialising in rock/punk/hardcore, this is your chance to let your long hair down and rock out to some of the finest tunes the industry has to offer. No messing around, just full-on rock.

Stunning new show from Scotland’s awardwinning comedian and internationally acclaimed half-man-half-Xbox.

Tickets from £10 available from The Stand Newcastle’s website

When do you tune in?

Sunday 4 November, 7pm The Stand Comedy Club

Thursday at 6pm

Something free: Sunday Stomp 7pm Hoochie Coochie Club, 54 Pilgrim Street

Possibly the best way to spend your Sunday evening, dance the night away, have fun, all for free.

A swingin’ Sunday night social playing the hottest dance music of the 1920s, ‘30s, ‘40s and ‘50s - big band swing, gypsy jazz, jumpin’ jive, rockin’ rhythm ‘n’ blues.

The Killers

Sunday 4 November, 7.30pm Metro Radio Arena

This is their first tour in 4 years, and the Las Vegas group are back. The groups’ hotly-anticipated fourth studio album, BattleBorn, was released on September 17th.

Something to look forward to: Pre-Hobbit: Lord of the Rings allnighter 9 December Tyneside Cinema

Glue on your elf ears and don your pointy hats as we return to Middle Earth in this special pre-The Hobbit Lord Of The Rings all-nighter. Peter Jackson’s multiple Oscar-winning trilogy set the bar for fantasy epics, and you can come along and relive the trilogy in the comfort of the Tyneside. We’ll guarantee you’ll be Tolkien about it for years!

Tickets from £10 available from the Tyneside Cinema website and their Box Office

@CourierListings

26.lifestyle

Monday 29 October 2012

The Courier

Lifestyle Editors: Lauren Stafford, Em Rae, and Catherine Davison Online Editor: Victoria Mole

5 Alternative Halloween Nights Out Evie O’Sullivan

The bare bones of costume making

When funds are low and you’re in need of a Halloween costume, it’s time to get your Blue Peter on. Catherine Davison shows you one she made earlier

Fancy doing something a bit different this Halloween? Check out our top 5 alternative events.

Step 2.

Quick snip

Castle Keep Ghost Tour

Castle Keep Halloween Fest brings to you a night of horror; as you are invited to discover the haunting of the Black Gate.

Tales of murder, execution and torture are sure to get the hairs on your back tingling. Check out www.aloneinthedarkentertainment.com.

BALTIC presents: Panic Room

Whoever said that Halloween can’t be alluring and sophisticated will need to rethink their game plan this year, as the Toon’s very own BALTIC art gallery is giving you the chance to step inside your own little Halloween fantasy.

Tickets are available from www.wegottickets.com for just £6.

Zombpong If you fancy something really different, brace yourself and head to the Cumberland Arms on the 31st October at 7:30pm. Milk the Cow and Zombie Rave Crew are promising a night of ping pong glory and Halloween mystery fun. Tickets can be purchased from www.wegottickets.com for just £4.

Movie Drive-in

Cast your mind back to the drive-in scene from Grease... popcorn, wolf whistling, and sexual advances. Relive the fun for yourself at Herrington Country Park in Sunderland at the screening of the supernatural horror film Carrie (18). The screening begins at 7.30 pm and tickets can be purchased in advance from www.ticketsource. com.

Jameson Cult Film

The Jameson Cult Film Club presents a Halloween screening of Francis Ford Coppola’s infamous Dracula..

Filled with bloody terror and nail-biting fun; you will definitely need to dig out your cape and fangs for this one.

The event is set to screen in a secret venue, which will only be revealed on the night. Visit www.facebook.com/ jamesoncultfilmclub to see more.

Step 1.

Take a sharp pair of scissors and start cutting horizontal slits in the t-shirt, starting from either end and finishing in the middle, so that you end up with two lines of evenly spaced slits down the front of the t-shirt. On cheap t-shirts, the fabric will be thin and curl in on itself when you cut it, so bear this is mind when cutting so that you don’t end up with a gaping hole in your top.

Step 3.

Final touches

Take a permanent marker or dye in a deep red colour to resemble blood, and draw on the t-shirt in a pattern or design of your choosing. Here, a lip stain has been used to draw a heart over the chest, as it’s a lovely deep pinky-red and will stay in place without smudging when that inevitable drink gets poured down your front in Sinners. For added creativity (mess) get some fake blood and go crazy.

The basics

Find a plain white t-shirt. You can either take an old one that you don’t mind cutting up or go down to Primark and pick one up for a couple of pounds.

Attract attention with alternative attire Pop Art Character With All Hallow’s Eve just around the corner and the memory of trick or treating a distant past, it’s time to rekindle that old love for Halloween and remember what it’s all about: fancy dress, of course!

As we all know, fancy dress is a serious matter. With budgets tight, it all comes down to the story behind the character; there will be hundreds of vampires, so why is your vampire different? While it’s always easy to go for ghosts, or vampires, or the undead, why not branch

out and try something different this year, like the mental patient who woke up half way through a lobotomy, leapt off the table and escaped; or the slightly psychopathic housewife feeding you husband stew? Wherever your imagination takes you, remember, fake blood is your friend; a good squeeze of the stuff turns Alice into Malice or Fred into Dead. But if you’re still struggling for ideas, here are some quick costumes to get the creative juices flowing...

1.

Avatar Super simple, and best of all, you’ve got all that blue paint left over from that Smurf party you had, right? The only major outlay for an Avatar costume is going to be the laundry bill afterwards, but if you’re willing to put in a few hours painting up, then it’s definitely worth it.

3.

A cheap brown or black t-shirt and a few hair braids complete the outfit.

Backcomb hair and cut up the t-shirt a bit for a more ‘wild’ look.

Spray your hair a primary colour (preferably yellow).

Or if you are feeling flush invest in a suitable wig.

2.

3.

1.

Get hold of some blue paint and cover yourself in it head to toe. If you don’t have any lying around from previous parties, Magic Box or any other fancy dress shop will sell body paint reasonably cheaply.

Another great costume that relies on the makeup more than the clothes, therefore is a friend of your purse. Basic black clothes or anything that can be worked into the vintage look are perfect to be a basis for this look.

2.

For authenticity, make a sign saying ‘Gasp!’ or ‘Pow!’. If that’s not gory enough for you, add some fake blood where you deem appropriate, and be a pop art character in a car crash.

Take a dark blue eyeshadow or eyeliner (or failing that, a felt tip), and do your makeup Avatar-style. Draw dots over your eyebrows, war paint streaks on your cheeks, and cat eyes.

Becky Kadansky

Edge your features (yes, ALL of them) with black eye liner, and then cover the rest of your face and neck with red dots using a red felt tip.

The Courier

sex&relationshipslifestyle.27

Monday 29 October 2012

thecourieronline.co.uk/lifestyle c2.lifestyle@ncl.ac.uk | @Courier_Life

Blind Date Alex Smith, 2nd year Physiological Sciences, meets Felix Ledger-Beadell, 2nd year Biomedicine Alex on Felix

Felix on Alex

What kind of guy do you go for normally?

I normally go for sporty, athletic guys. I like guys who are good conversationalists and have something a bit different to say.

What kind of girl do you go for normally?

I don’t really have a type to be honest. I generally find brunettes more attractive; and dark eyes. However I’ve got to be attracted to someone on a personality level, as well as a physical level.

First impressions?

Felix was very welcoming at the start. He was a true gentleman and insisted on paying for both our drinks.

First impressions?

She’s a really nice girl and was very easy to talk to.

Any striking conversation topics?

We talked about a variety of things really; ranging from people we know in common, to things we’ve both been to.

Any awkward moments?

The conversation wasn’t awkward at all as we had loads to chat about. There were never any awkward pauses as one or other of us was always talking.

What was his most attractive quality?

He comes across as very intelligent, which I find a very attractive quality. Also he seemed pretty down to earth and had a good general knowledge of the world.

What was his worst trait?

He did seem to like the sound of his own voice. This is probably a good thing on a first date as it meant there were no awkward silences.

Did you open the ex-file?

Yeah we did actually. I asked him when his last relationship was and he said he’d never had one. He was very sweet and talked abut his ideal date.

At any point did you understand why they were single?

No not at all, we had a lovely time and he’s a very likeable person. The only thing I would say is that he was quite nervous when we met. He should have more confidence as he has a lot to give!

If you were to take them home do you think your parents would approve?

They would love the fact that he’s a Biomed. Also the fact he comes across as clever and he’s obviously from a good background.

Were you tempted to lean in for a kiss?

No, not at all. We did have a really lovely time though.

What would be your ideal date?

I love the theatre so my ideal date would probably be going to see a play.

Marks out of 10?

A solid 9. We had a great time and laughed a lot.

Any striking conversation topics?

She was interesting to chat to and we chatted about our mutual friends. Also she’s doing a module on her course which kind of applied to my course which was interesting.

Any awkward moments?

No she was really easy to get on with which was good as I was really nervous at the beginning of the date. We were able to move on from one topic to another pretty seamlessly.

What was her most attractive quality?

She’s obviously an attractive girl. The most attractive thing however was probably how easy the conversation flowed.

Also when we were talking about a particular topic, she actually had something to say about it. There’s nothing worse than an attractive girl with nothing to say for herself.

What was her worst trait?

I genuinely can’t think of anything. I don’t like picking holes either. She was punctual to the date too which was good; she wasn’t trying to be fashionably late.

Did you open the ex-file?

Yes we did actually. Mine was very short.

We ended up talking about strange things that people could do on a date and what we would do in that situation.

At any point did you understand why they were single?

No idea really. She’s a lovely girl and very easy to get on with.

If you were to take them home do you think your parents would approve?

Oh yes, my parents would be happy in the first place that I was taking a girl come. But yes they would like her.

Were you tempted to lean in for a kiss?

No, our social circles are way too interlinked already. Anyway, some girls have rules for that kind of First Date thing don’t they?

What would be your ideal date?

Well this was a pretty good date. However I’m quite an outdoors person so if it was sunny then a picnic in the park would be pretty good.

Marks out of 10?

8 or 9, I would say.

Unlucky in love? The Courier is here to help!

Send your details to c2.lifestyle@ncl.ac.uk

28.lifestyle

Monday 29 October 2012

The Courier

thecourieronline.co.uk/lifestyle c2.lifestyle@ncl.ac.uk | @courier_life

Halloween ‘How To’

Pepper Lanterns

With Halloween looming, pumpkin carving is one of the best and oldest ways to get you in the mood for the festivities. However, as a vegetable that tends to be a little overlooked at all other times of year, pumpkins can be expensive and difficult to get hold of last minute, so why not try our budget friendly alternative?

Step One: Buy your peppers. Unlike pumpkins, these don’t cost a fortune and won’t have sold out in every Tesco for miles around by the time you finally get around to some last minute Halloween shopping.

They also come in a variety of colours and sizes.

Naked Bakin’ Toffee Apples This week I’m offering you a Halloween themed challenge. It may be hard but ultimately it’s worth it. Of course I’m talking about the childhood pleasure of toffee apples! Toffee apples bring out the best in people because nothing beats the crunchy sweetness of these delicious treats. Plus mine are so much better than anything shop bought! Feel free to eat as many of these homemade beauties as you like.

Making the toffee may be slightly more complicated than some aspects of baking as I’m guessing that most of you won’t have a sugar thermometer (despite writing a baking column, I don’t either). You can pick one up for an amazing £6 and it’s 100% worth it. Once you have the toffee making down, you can forget the apples and just have a toffee fondue.

Let’s face it − everything is made better once dipped in sumptuous, sticky toffee. This recipe provides the possibility of gooey, hot goodness.

Who wouldn’t be sold?!

You will need 8 Apples 400g golden caster sugar 1 tsp of vinegar (you could be pedantic and use white wine vinegar but ultimately any will do) 4 tablespoons of golden syrup 100ml water 8 lollipop sticks 1. Fill a bowl with water and dip the apples in. Wait for 5 seconds, take them out and dry them off with a towel. Twist off the stalks and push a wooden skewer or lolly stick in the end of each apple.

2. Put baking parchment or foil on a baking tray and place the apples. Make sure it’s near your cooker otherwise you will be left with a sticky, chaotic mess.

3. Tip the sugar into a pan along with 100ml water and set over a medium heat. Heat through until the sugar dissolves (this will take around 5 min-

Step Two: With a sharp knife, cut the lid off your peppers and hollow out the inside, scraping away any leftovers with a spoon.

Step Three: Carve a face! With the pointy end of the knife, carefully cut away eye holes and a jagged mouth.

You can be as creative as you like here; the bigger the pepper the more room for intricate carvings!

Restaurant Review The Forth

Sunday to Wednesday: Noon - 11pm Thursday to Friday: Noon - Midnight Pink Lane Newcastle upon Tyne 01912326478

Step Five: Put the ‘hat’ back onto your pepper, and put in a prominent position on your bedside table for a spooky bedside lamp!

Fran Ede

When we approached The Forth, we were slightly worried. From the outside it appeared like any other Newcastle drinking hole, full to the brim with locals. We were reassured by the friendly staff (including an ex-Courier writer) that we were experiencing the Friday evening rush and that our table would be ready for us shortly.

We arrived twenty minutes early (we underestimated our ability to navigate around Newcastle

4. It will take about 10 minutes for the sugar to boil. Don’t be alarmed if it starts excessively bubbling as that’s the result we are after. All those who don’t have a sugar thermometer, now it’s your time to shine (if you do, you’re aiming for 140C). You can test the toffee by pouring a little into a bowl of cold water. It should harden instantly and when removed it should be brittle and easy to break. If you can still squish (technical term) the toffee, continue to boil it.

5. Now when your toffee is ready you get to have some real fun. Dip and twist the apple in the hot toffee until it’s covered. You might want to try spooning the toffee over the apple as dipping isn’t always successful. Leave them for a while and allow the toffee to cool before eating. This will take around an hour 6. All finished! If you feeling generous offer them to trick or treaters. If not, eat and enjoy.

Sally Priddle

Opening times:

Step Four: Light a tealight and carefully lower it into the centre of the pepper. You can pick up a multipack of tealights in a variety of colours and scents for less than £2 in Wilkinsons.

And if you do get hold of a pumpkin...

The basic steps are the same as with a pepper, only you’ll need to spend a lot more time hollowing out the inside with a sharp knife. Ideally, you want the wall of the pumpkin to be as thin as possible to make it easier to carve through – don’t worry, light won’t be able to get through the skin so it doesn’t matter if it’s not quite even! Then carve into the side of your pumpkin. You can be really creative here as it’s a much bigger surface.

utes). Then stir in the vinegar and golden syrup.

past Northumberland Street...) and expected a slight wait. There was a report of a man already sitting at our table, insisting he was part of our party, which was a bit unexpected. After the waiter had helped us kick out our unwelcome guest - and provided us with a bottle of house wine to kill time - we were led to a secluded alcove for the more sophisticated dining experience.

Our table featured (highlight of the night) a

“amazing lunch deals with a Sunday roast set to rival those at home” chalkboard with our names written on: ‘Reserved for Rosie and Jess’. Cue fleeting feeling of celeb status. We looked at the menu, and were faced with a choice of gastro-pub classics including burgers and a posh version of fish and chips.

We ordered the wild salmon fishcakes and roast Shropshire chicken. The salmon fishcakes were very tasty and they came with chunky potato wedges and home made coleslaw. The hint of lemon added to the flavour of the dish and the overall presentation and freshness of the food was impressive. The roast chicken was served with a basket of rustic looking skinny fries and a miniature jug of red wine gravy. Again, the food looked as good as it tasted. This was most definitely the chic version of chicken and chips.

Once we had polished off our main courses, a little persuasion and a passionate recommendation from our lovely waitress Helen (our new BFF) was all we needed to browse the dessert menu. We swiftly decided that we had just enough room left to satisfy our sweet tooth and opted for the lemon cheesecake and sticky toffee pudding. The cheesecake was a perfect choice, both palate cleansing and a refreshing end to the meal. The sticky toffee pudding was a definite indulgence and the warm sponge accompanied with the vanilla pod ice cream was an unbeatable combination.

The menu boasts a more sophisticated version of classic pub-grub and is definite must for those in need of good food at student friendly prices. The Forth also offers amazing lunch deals with a Sunday roast set to rival those at home.

We thoroughly enjoyed the evening and even left the restaurant with complimentary refresher and drumstick sweets. We would definitely recommend a visit.

Rosie Devonshire and Jessica Timms

The Courier

lifestyle.29

Monday 29 October 2012

Lifestyle Editors: Lauren Stafford, Em Rae and Catherine Davison Online Editor: Victoria Mole

Penny Pincher

How to host a Halloween houseparty on a budget If you’ve already spent too much time and money on your Halloween costume, here are a few quick and cheap ways to decorate your house for the perfect Halloween party!

Hanging Ghosts

two e in half and carefully cut thick, Pull Cut an empty toilet roll tub ly 1.5cm ate im rox app e sid h eac rectangular arms into sticking out. Separate a 2 ply tissue and out the arms so they are over the tube, taking care to make sure then glue the first tissue th the other half of the tissue glue it it is fully stuck down. Wis so it is looser than the first tissue down just above the arm earance; then with a permanent thread to to give it the ghost-like app Use a long piece of white marker draw on the face. the side of the ghost’s head taking hang the ghost and pierce se! g them around your hou care not to tear. Now han

Party game

If you want to play something a little different from your generic drinking game, ‘Black Cat’ is worth a try.

The objective of the game is not to let slip Halloween-themed words, hence the allusion to the ‘cat got your tongue’ie saying; whilst describing a horror mov for everyone to guess.

Prepare treats to have in the centre of the the game for the person who guesses the for ’ ‘trick a are prep , film title. Also of player(s) with the least treats at the end the one the game. The winner of the game is win a with the most treats, leading them to up the bonus prize. Perhaps you could cook Witches Brew!

Witches Brew You will need: 1 pumpkin, 300ml Vodka, 150ml Triple sec, 250ml Freshly squeezed blood (orange juice), 500ml Cherry Coca-Cola, Grenadine, Ice, Packet of gummy worms 1. Remove the top of the pumpkin, carve out the flesh and discard the insides.

2. Fill the pumpkin with ice, and then pour in the vodka, triple sec, bitters, blood orange juice, black cherry soda and a dash of grenadine. Stir well.

3. Drape the gummy worms over the edges of the pumpkin and consume. The evening is sure to be a scream!

Conservation Society braves the Bigg Market with TCTV

Knowing that I was in for a very different experience with TCTV, I approached the Hancock at 10pm on Thursday with anticipation. Four of us were to be filming ‘Blacklight’ at Legends which is a relatively new night. I’d already heard good things about it. We had time for a run through of the equipment, which seemed easy enough, and also a cheeky drink - a little Dutch courage is never a bad idea! I learned a little more of what TCTV is all about, as until recently I had barely heard of this rapidly expanding section of Newcastle University’s media arm. So far, so good. I was very interested to hear more about Big Bad Banter (the series of shows which I was about to contribute to) and their other projects, including two cooking programmes and a short film, all of which will be published online.

We were soon making our way towards Legends - the queue was just starting to get busy. Music was blaring from every club, the streets were filled with the sounds of lively chatter and laughter. It was time to start filming.

Normally a confident person, I had imagined myself to be more than comfortable in this situation – after all, dealing with drunk people is something that I’m quite used to. To my surprise I found myself a little daunted. With a camera pointing my

night, who is your favourite legend’, and ‘can you shout the name of this club night?’ It was certainly a strange experience witnessing drunken antics not only as a sober person, but also through a camera lens. I felt like David Attenborough.

The end of the night came round very quickly! I was disappointed to hear that we had enough footage and it was time to go home. TCTV is definitely something that I would like to return to and I am excited to see the finished video! If I had to choose a highlight of the night it was witnessing a very plastered person attempt to tear down a tree outside the theatre. It was eye opening.

way, I wasn’t entirely sure how best to attract the attention of the throng of intoxicated revellers outside Legends. My concerns were unfounded however, as people flocked straight to the camera.

Quickly getting over this initial awkwardness, I began to enjoy both the filming and presenting aspects of TCTV. Tasks involved filming individuals, panning across the dancefloor and protecting the camera from exuberant dancers. Away from the speakers, we were able to ask questions. My personal favourites were ‘as we’re in Legends to-

Fancy trying something new and promoting your own society in the process? Get involved with Society Swap! Email us at c2.lifestyle@ newcastle.ac.uk or tweet us @Courier_Life.

Catherine Bundy

With Olive Winterbottom October 27th Reworked a denim jacket today. It’s from, like, the 80s and I bought it in an obscure charity shop. It smelt like old women’s wee but it’s okay because I sprayed it with Chanel No. 5. Louisa persuaded me to buy a pair of non-prescription lenses and she’s coming over later so we can take polaroids to put on our Tumblr account.

We’ve started a blog. It’s called Ethereal Rainbows and it’s about the fragility of life. I caught some girls from art history looking at it in the library. They were laughing but I think they’re just uncomfortable because the subject matter is so deep and emotionally riveting. You can’t really expect them to understand. No one really understands. Actually maybe Morrissey would get it. Yeah, Morrissey knows what I’m all about. I’m thinking about getting the lyrics to ‘This Charming Man’ tattooed on my inner thigh.

October 28th Today I spent all day helping Joel with his cross-dressing project. We spent an hour at the M.A.C counter deciding which shade of lipstick was best for breaking down gender boundaries. In the end we went for ‘Coral Bliss’. In the afternoon he came round for to mine for a photo shoot. I made him a maxi dress out of found materials and he draped himself over my chaise-longue. It was beautiful. His tooth whitening treatment has really paid off. He showed me his sketchbook and it’s amazing. He’s got these phenomenal freehand drawings of genitalia and he’s in the process of editing a short film.

It’s shot in black and white and he’s completely naked for most of it. I think he’s using Bon Iver for the soundtrack. I cried when I saw the first edit.

Anyway, got to dash, I’m off for drinks at a social club in Heaton. I like Heaton − it’s more real. The locals love me there. They call me ‘Olivia’ because apparently ‘Olive’ isn’t a real name. If we take our drinks on the dance floor, the brutish lady from behind the bar chases us about a bit. Such fun!

October 31st It’s Halloween and we’ve decided to dress up as our favourite works of art. I’m using Andy Warhol’s Marilyn prints for my inspiration. I’ve taken photocopies of my own face and sewn them onto my costume.

Joel is drawing on Damien Hirst. We tried to find an actual shark’s head but the butcher said he couldn’t source one for us even when we offered to pay him extra. It doesn’t matter anyway because Joel decided that taping frozen fish fingers to his naked flesh would be more provocative. I can’t wait for tonight!

The whole gang is going. We’re filming pre-drinks. I think it’s important to document everything. My flat is practically like The Factory. I mean, who wouldn’t want to know about our lives?

Lauren Stafford Illustrations: Daisy Billowes

30.arts

Monday 29 October 2012

The Courier

Arts Editors: Lisa Bernhardt and Millie Walton Online Arts Editors: Grace Harvey

Writers’ Corner The Boulevard

by Joseph Thomas Milburn

W

e ran and ran, hand in hand, Along the Boulevard.

Maniacally we laughed and tripped and fell And we suspected that it was mud, and not grass beneath our feet.

You could hardly see a thing that night, Other than the firefly lamp posts glaring through the high trees That enclosed us. * You could hear us a mile off.

Apart from the odd car that rushed by, It was just the sound of us, as one.

Our maddened breathless run.

And we were all too aware that we were getting funny stares Glares, out windows And that we hardly looked like joggers. * All too fast our stretch of street came to an end We faced the crossways of our lives.

I solemnly walked her home, hand in hand.

A funny stare - kiss - that was that.

It’s amazing how long three years can seem To those of only just eighteen. * And the Boulevard were I walk alone Will always remind me of you And of how walking can be so much fun When you laugh and trip, Under the muddied Sun. Staring at the stars, framed by those high trees Those deep brown eyes…

Falling on the Boulevard was Forever

Julian Clary, briefly encountered

Arts Editor Lisa Bernhardt chatted to comedian and novelist Julian Clary about Celebrity Big Brother, Northerners and Samantha Brick

P

osition Vacant, Apply Within: sounds like a normal advertisement for a job that you’d find on countless shop windows all over the country, doesn’t it?

But what if this position included tying the knot with no other than comedy veteran Julian Clary?

Finding love can be just as tricky as finding a job in the current economic climate, so the concept of his new tour is to find a husband: “What I’m going to do in this show is to select a number of men from the audience, do some elimination rounds until finally I find the person that I want to marry for that evening- and then we have a gay wedding on stage.”

If only life was always this simple...

After the success of his previous tour, Lord of the Mince, Julian Clary is once again travelling the UK, visiting the Mill Volvo Tyne Theatre two weeks ago. He says that Newcastle is one of his favourites, despite admitting that he occasionally struggles with the local accent, “but you‘ve got a great sense of humour”. He explains that, generally speaking, this applies to the whole of the North: “The further North you go, the more extroverted people are, you get big gangs of women having a good time. And when you go a bit down South, people are more reserved, shy and sit there with their arms crossed.”

But even if a crowd is a little less receptive, Julian, whose CV includes both numerous stage and TV appearances, including Strictly Come Dancing and Celebrity Big Brother, enjoys being on stage. “I’m in charge and I’m not being edited or controlled in any way, so of all the different ways of expressing myself, live on stage on my own is the best,” he says. Apart from his stand up comedy and participation in various TV shows, his nov-

els prove him to be a true ‘jack of all trades’. All of them, including the latest one Briefs Encountered, are somewhat inspired by his show biz life as he found it best to write about things he knows, Julian claims. And the sources of inspiration seem endless for him.

Julian refers to his time in the Big Brother house as bizarre, sharing a room with Coronation Street actress Julia Goodyear and living with journalist Samantha Brick who gained the media and public’s attention with a Daily Mail article in which she ‘confessed’ her everyday problems with being a (self-proclaimed) outstanding beauty. Julian describes her as “very caring” and “very kind”: “she’s an intelligent woman, you can have a nice chat with her.” However, he also stresses that “her views about herself and women are very, very old-fashioned and I was never

able to overcome my dislike of her views. She said something like women don’t need independence and they should only work part time so they can look after their husband, and I thought that was a very backward step which is really unfortunate because when you meet her and talk to her she is charming, but somehow she acquired these unfortunate views.”

In the 30 years of his career as a comedian, Julian has pushed many a boundary with his humour and established his extroverted, often defined as camp, persona as his trademark. “It’s an extension of who I am,” he explains; “you make yourself into a product and there are various means of selling yourself, be it via selling books or playing on stage or going on reality television, it’s all aspects of myself and you just offer it to the public and see whether they like what you’re offering or not.”

He admits that is a bit of a gamble from time to time, but in the end ‘you can‘t really be anything other than yourself.’ And isn’t this just profoundly true?

Written in the stars...

Has handwriting lost its place in the age of Microsoft Word? James Ricketts and Grace Harvey debate

T

he type-written word has superseded handwriting in the modern world and it is not without reason why we have made this change. The development of technology has allowed for a more fluid communication and expression. We sho uld celebrate the new age of the type written word, rather than wallowing in a backward romantic ideal that handwriting should persist into an era where it is not welcome.

vious; it simply can’t obtain the same relationship with modern advancement as the method of typing. An example being the Internet, crowded with ideas, opinions and information that have all been written out on keyboards. Handwriting lacks this ability to synthesize man and machine.

In the grand scheme of things, it should not matter how something is written rather what is written. Handwriting may display ones personality, but it is merely illustrative.

Falling in love with you.

Old Mr. Barry

by Joseph Thomas Milburn

N

o Letters come for Old Mr Barry

before

Anymore. Who lived in this house

Us. Who walked these halls, that Lara, my niece, Now crawls.

His house and his home, for however long – Is Changed. The Memories, the dusty things, A Mirror, once his long forgotten face, Are gone.

... the beauty and nobility, the august mission and destiny, of human handwriting (George B. Shaw, Pygmaleon) The typewritten method gives the writer the ability to communicate their thoughts with far more clarity and it does not share the same dangers of handwriting, where words can be either illegible or overbearing in a way that distracts the reader from the content. Preset fonts allow the work to be read easily and words can be effortlessly be re-corrected and re-edited, avoiding any clumsy grammatical and spelling errors.

It is no wonder why Newcastle University requires students to submit electronically typewritten coursework, otherwise the examiner could miss brilliant ideas that cannot be deciphered.

The impracticality of handwriting is ob-

The expression of mark making should be left to the artist and sketchers of the world writing should always be made in the most durable and efficient method of the day.

Considering our society’s intense relationship with technology, the typewritten word is crucial. As we become increasingly obsessed with using our gadgets alongside our modern work and social life, handwriting withers by the side.

James Ricketts Do you cherish pen and ink or are you a committed computer writer? Join the debate at www.thecourieronline.co.uk/arts

The Courier

arts.31

Monday 29 October 2012

thecourieronline.co.uk/arts c2.arts@ncl.ac.uk | @courier_arts

NUTS Winter Season

previews

Fiddler on the Roof (J. Bock, S. Harnick & J. Stein) 19th-21st November, Newcastle College Telling the traditional Yiddish tale of Tevye, a Jewish man desperate to maintain his family’s heritage and traditions, Fiddler on the Roof is an innovative take on classic theatre. Tevye must attempt to defy the Tsar who threatens to evict Jews from their homes, whilst trying to control his wily daughters. This Broadway classic is the ultimate way to set the standard for the NUTS winter programme.

Importance of Being Earnest (O. Wilde) 22nd-24th November, St Luke’s Church Featuring wit, folly and the good old’ mistaken identity, the iconic Wilde comedy has made it’s return to the NUTS repertoire. The story revolves around Jack Worthing and Algernon Moncrieff pretending to be E(a)rnest, until their true identities are revealed. Yet as the audience discovers their secrets, they realise they aren’t the only ones hiding something and thus ensues classic Wilde esprit and humour. Will their trues loves still marry them? What ever came of Jack’s seemingly shady past? And who did eat the all cucumber sandwiches?

No Time for Fig Leaves (D. Greenwood & R. King) 25th-27th November, Culture Lab After an atomic incidence has wiped out all men, women are ruling the world.

That is, until two men hiding in an underground bunker are found and are kept under close supervision. Realising that there’s a whole world of desirable women at their beck and call, they seize any opportunity they can to escape resulting in a series of hilarious and comic events…

9 to 5

I

Sunderland Empire 29 October - 3 November

Medea

Northern Stage 30 October - 3 November

O

t’s around this time, with introductory lectures far behind you, money dwindling, work piling up, and the slowly dawning realisation that doing your laundry once a month will not prevent you wearing the same clothes four days running, that everyone starts to feel the start of term blues setting in.

What excellent timing then, for Dolly Parton’s thoroughly feel-good musical, 9 to 5 to leave Broadway and head to the Sunderland Empire.

The musical tells the story of three female office workers who conspire to get revenge on their sexist boss. Having famously shaken off criticism of her appearance by saying, “Honey, it costs a lot of money to look this cheap!” as well as subverting the ‘sexy secretary’ stereotype in her hit film 9 to 5, Parton continues her theme of overcoming sexism in style. The show also promises to shatter any negative preconceptions of a trashy performance with an Oscar winning and Grammy nominated score accompanying the uplifting collection of songs, all written by Parton herself. With tickets currently going from just £15 there really is no reason not to go!

Clara Heathcock

ne of the most fascinating and complex female characters in dramatic history, Medea is a heroine, villain and victim, all rolled into one.

This new adaptation of Euripedes’ classic tragedy blends the concerns of a 21st century spurned woman with the ancient tale of betrayal and revenge, the ensuing devastation Medea leaves in her wake makes this one of the most harrowing and disturbing Greek tragedies in existence.

Set in the Ikea starkness of a newly-built housing estate, Medea becomes imprisoned in her own plots of violent retribution for her unfaithful husband, Jason. The cast is led by Rachael Stirling (The Bletchley Circle) as the eponymous Medea and also stars Adam Levy (Holby City) and Lu Corfield (Doctors).

The production is adapted and directed by Mike Bartlett, one of the UK’s most in demand writers, best know for Earthquakes In London (National Theatre), and promises to throw a new light on the traditional Greek tragedy whilst demonstrating its enduring ability in modern society.

Andy Zaltzman

Black T-Shirt Collection

eginning the show with bold claims of his comedic skills, such as showing the audience his certificate from the British Institute of Satirists and Lampooners, the audience knew they were in for something out of the ordinary.

Unlike traditional stand up shows, we were treated to the use of various props, such as the arrow that was through Zaltzman’s head for the duration of the show, the bright green telephone (on which he used to call NHS Direct about the arrow), and the leopard beanie baby shaped radio called Satiricax 3000.

Zaltzman was well informed with current affairs, covering the most prevalent topics of today from riots and revolutions to tax evasion. One particular highlight was his tendency to ask the audience imploring questions such as ‘Have you enjoyed the Syrian crisis?’ and ‘Did you enjoy the war on terror?’The show ended as alternatively as it began with Zaltzman proposing an audience satisfaction survey to review how satisfied he was with us!

The intellectual nature of several of the jokes meant that it was difficult to maintain concentration at times, but overall it was well balanced between the political and the comedic.

Rosanna Hutchings

aving never seen a one-man play before, I wasn’t sure what to expect from Black T-shirt Collection, a 70-minute solo performance written and performed by Inua Ellams.

However, it is safe to say that I am now a convert to minimalist theatre. With its bare set and simple lighting, the play felt at times like a conversation with a friend rather than a play from an Edinburgh Fringe Festival winner.

Despite some technical difficulties, Ellams maintained an impressive energy throughout the entire performance, refreshingly not shying away from controversial topics such as homophobia and religious intolerance. Whilst these issues have global resonance, the play also worked on a personal level, telling the story of two brothers torn apart by society’s greed. Indeed, it was Ellams’s portrayal of the brothers’ relationship which was perhaps the most striking aspect of the piece, both in the complexity of the emotional ties he created and in his ability to play two very different characters almost simultaneously.

A thought-provoking and intelligent piece, Black T-shirt Collection was a both a pleasure and a challenge to watch.

London

L

Live Theatre 30 October - 10 November

ondon is the newest venture by Olivier award-winning playwright Simon Stephens. Set in the claustrophobic heart of England’s capital, it tells two poignant stories about families and the decisions that have to be made for the things they love.

The first of the two tales, ‘T5’, tracks the inner thoughts of a mother and a witness through a personal headset. The mother remains anonymous, making her a universal figure in a struggle to escape a hectic and demanding city life. The second story, ‘Seawall’ introduces us to Alex, a successful photographer, father and husband. He’s a man who has it all, but also has everything to lose.

London promises to be as daring and unique as Stephen’s previous triumphs, which include the Edinburgh Fringe Festival 2012 sell-out, Morning.

A hugely identifiable and prevalent piece in today’s society, London is already well on it’s way to becoming a huge success. To make things even more appealing the Live Theatre is selling student tickets from only £5.

Georgia Snow

reviews

Millie Walton

Twelfth Night (W. Shakespeare) 29th Nov-1st December, Culture Lab No NUTS season is ever complete without Shakespeare, and his classic comedy promises to be one of their biggest hits this season. Believing her brother to be dead, Viola has been left shipwrecked, and is forced to disguise herself as a man to protect Duke Orsino. Viola must then conceal her love for him while discouraging Olivia’s advances, the Duke’s lover she’s supposed to woo. English Renaissance humour at its best!

Out of Sight: Out of Murder (F. Carmichael) 7th-9th December, Culture Lab As author Peter Knight retreats to an old mansion, plagued with tales of crime and horror, an unpredicted freak storm hits and Knight’s characters come to life, moving into the mansion with him. Featuring a handful of wild and eccentric characters, Peter fails to control his literary creations and discovers a murder inspired by his own tale, forcing him to face the reality of his imagination.

Lord of the Rings: The Panto (W. Sebag) 9th-11th December, Venue This new script, developed within the Theatre Society, has taken an unique angle on the J.R.R Tolkien’s classic, and has moulded into the king of the stage productions: a pantomime. Yes, you read right, the NUTS winter season will culminate in the ultimate denouement, the Lord of the Rings pantomime, where Gandalf and Dumbledore (!) are rumoured to indulge in a rap battle amongst other antics…

Grace Harvey & Stefanie Shephard

The Stand 16 October

B

Swan Lake

Northern Stage 16 - 17 October

H

Sapphire Rees

Sunderland Empire 18 - 20 October

I

t’s hard to say anything original or unique about Swan Lake, as it is already shrouded in decades of praise.

This does, however, secure Swan Lake’s status as a reliable source of entertainment and a ballet, which could move even the most reluctant of audiences. The Birmingham Royal Ballet has once again resurrected this timeless classic to produce a beautiful and traditional rendition.

Despite the talent displayed by the ballerinas, there was a lack of originality or drama.

The supposedly passionate love affair between Siegfried and Odette was supported by the ballerina’s skill, but not by the chemistry between the two. Their intense focus on technicality resulted in an unfortunate lack of convincing emotion. It would have also been more interesting if the company had varied the traditional tale and done something a bit different with the production and choreography. Perhaps I’ve been watching Black Swan too many times, but the BRB’s unbending loyalty to the traditional depiction of Swan Lake was a bit frustrating.

That said, the BRB certainly proved why they are one of the most celebrated companies in Britain and it is certainly worth attending one of their performances!

Alexandra Walker

32.musicreviews

Monday 29 October 2012

The Courier

Music Editors: Chris Haywood and Sam Summers Online Music Editor: Sophie Coletta

How To Buy...

18 Months

Metallica

Calvin Harris

I With Halloween approaching it’s time to break out the scary music, and when it comes to frightening your parents nothing beats a bit of Metallica...

For Beginners: The Black Album With almost 16 million copies sold, it’s got to be The Black Album, hasn’t it? The album that made the world take notice.

The album that made metal ‘cool’ and brought the unrelenting beast Metallica had become back in ‘91 into the mainstream eye. Every time you hear Bullet For My Valentine or Avenged Sevenfold’s soaring choruses bellowing out from underneath some chugging guitar riffs, it’s because of this album. With tracks as monumentally game-changing as ‘Enter Sandman’, ‘Wherever I May Roam’ and ‘Sad But True’, this is a perfect showcase of everything that Metallica were doing throughout the ‘80s condensed down into accessible bite-sized morsels of thrash-tinged perfection.

For Experts: Ride The Lightning Topping the raw energy on display through Metallica’s debut Kill ‘Em All was always going to be a lofty proposition, but luckily they were just beginning to revolutionise the metal scene and redefine what the genre was capable of. Opening with the psychotic ‘Fight Fire With Fire’, this is thrash metal at its absolute finest. Buzzsaw guitar tones and Hetfield’s signature barking contrasts with the gorgeous ‘Fade To Black’, which divided fans due to the fact Metallica dared to let up from pummeling your brain into a soft paste. It’s also worth mentioning that lead axeman Kirk Hammett had been taking lessons from none other than guitar god Joe Satriani, and his epic progressions on every track are all absolute masterclasses in metal guitar composition.

For The Bin: Lulu Not strictly a Metallica album per-se, more a rich man’s vanity project birthed from the twisted, withered old mind of Mr. Reed himself.

Lou had this great idea of writing a spoken word album about a woman in Victorian England who slowly falls in love with the idea of being sexually abused, until one day she meets Jack the Ripper and all her fantasies come true. The reason this doesn’t work, even beyond the challenging subject matter, is that Lou asked Metallica to improvise all the instrumental parts for each song while he literally mumbles over the top, trying desperately to be ‘dark’ and ‘edgy’. You can defend it as an artistic exploration into what music can offer the open mind from two of the greatest artists of all time, or you can be honest with yourself: it’s cack.

Scott Tailford

t’s been a long while coming for Calvin Harris’ third LP – eighteen months since releasing ‘Bounce’ way back in 2011, funnily enough – but can the Scottish super producer live up to the hype that’s made him so in demand?

It’s fair to say that if you’ve heard ‘We Found Love’ – and let’s be honest, who hasn’t? – you’ve in a sense already heard most of the album, and that’s not just because Harris has already released half of it. Structurally the songs seem to carry a very set formula: repetitive – albeit catchy – lyrics, most usually building up to an explosive instrumental chorus riddled with synths. New cut ‘Drinking From The Bottle’ executes this cookie cutter formula well, a typical Tinie Tempah dance number which you’ll inevitably be drunkenly grinding and screaming to in the not too distant future.

With Harris’ songs evoking such upbeat and excitable emotions in his audience, it raises the question as to whether his newfound song formula is necessarily a bad thing? They say if it ain’t broke then don’t fix it and, looking at his recent success in the charts, it quite clearly doesn’t need fixing.

Whilst each track is almost identical structurally, there is enough distinction between them – mainly thanks to the plethora of differing featured artists – to make sure we’re not listening to fifteen cop-

ies of the same song. That said, it would be nice to see Harris develop the lyrical content of his songs more often, as he demonstrated with Cheryl’s ‘Call My Name’ that he is perfectly capable of doing so with success.

Banks

Good Don’t Sleep

Independence

Paul Banks

They say if it ain’t broke then don’t fix it, and it quite clearly doesn’t need fixing...

When Calvin Harris set out to make 18 Months, his intention was to make something that sounded ‘quite epic’, a task which he has pretty much pulled off. A bit formulaic, yes, but that doesn’t take away from the slick production which has made him so sought after in the music world. All pre-drinks playlists retire yourselves now, this album will be replacing you for a while to come.

Recommended download: ‘Drinking From The Bottle’ Jordan Lebbern

David Guetta - One Love DJ Fresh - Nextlevelism Example - Playing In The Shadows

Kosheen

Egyptian Hip Hop

W

If you like this, try...

ith his band Interpol on an indefinite hiatus from 2011 onwards, you can definitely understand why frontman Paul Banks has chosen to pursue other projects, and what better way to reinvent your music than an album named after yourself?

As a way to distance himself from previous solo releases under the strange pseudonym ‘Julian Plenti’, the seasoned frontman has released his second full-length solo album Banks. Even though his distinctive baritone vocals make everything sound very similar, it’s a tangent from the stylistic choices we’ve come to expect from him.

Lead single ‘The Base’ has a thrumming beat with a very Alt-J-esque sound to it which definitely makes it the crème-de-la-crème of the album, and the final stand-out song ‘Summertime Is Coming’ frames everything very well. Banks also makes use of sampling, most notably on ‘Another Chance’, where he slips in a spoken monologue which plays over a hypnotically repetitive acoustic riff. This is an obvious artistic choice which runs throughout the entire album, especially during ‘Young Again’.

Even though it gets a bit dense after a few listens, there are definitely some shining songs in there which will be on repeat for a long time. But does it rival his releases with Interpol? Almost, maybe.

wo years ago Egyptian Hip Hop were hotly tipped to become British indie’s ‘next big thing’, releasing an accomplished debut EP whilst still attending college in Manchester. That was 2010 and only now are they finally releasing a follow up. So, what became of the likely lads?

Good Don’t Sleep is an album of ‘80s influenced synthpop psychedelia. The focus is on sonic texture, with an intricate latticework of dreamy synth, guitar jangle and burbling bass melodies with quiet percussion. This is bedroom music and it probably won’t disturb the neighbours.

Whilst the band succeed in creating atmosphere, there is little excitement or thrust behind their music. Singer Alex Hewett’s shoegazing vocal sigh does not convey much in the way of emotion and his songs lack major lyrical hooks. At times this album can feel superficial. It’s got style but it’s lacking in substance.

Single ‘SYH’ sees the band at their most dynamic; it’s one of the few songs that actually goes somewhere. A quiet verse gives way to a driving chorus where bass and synth groove together in a way reminiscent of MGMT. It’s an interesting listen for an indie aficionado, but it’s not going to win-over many new listeners.

T

K

Recommended download: ‘Summertime Is Coming’

Recommended download: ‘SYH’

Recommended download: ‘Tightly’

Beth Durant

For tonnes of web-exclusive playlists and live reviews, check out The Courier music section online.

Mike Slaski

osheen’s press release claims that they ‘don’t just ignore the rulebook, but rewrite it’. I beg to differ. It rather seems that they have browsed the rulebook, confused themselves and decided to make an album.

On first attempt at listening to Independence I thought ‘yeah, this isn’t so bad, it begins with a dark yet funky electronic track, maybe even a bit like LCD Soundsystem; excellent. It even starts to get a bit dirty, a bit of bass, yeah...’

Second track. Again it starts pretty well. I’m getting an ‘old-school electronica’ kind of vibe. By Track 3 I’m almost excited. There’s an air of Blondie or of Cher in the vocals that’s sort of empowering.

By Track 8 I’m just bored and slightly angry.

It strikes me that all I’ve been listening to is Sian Evans singing; I was so caught off guard by her voice that the incessant scratching noise – presumably the band – just became background. Unfortunately, by Track 8 there was no singing and I began to feel it eating away at my eardrums. It was time to stop listening before something terrible happened and I lost the ability to distinguish sounds.

Ok, so I’m being dramatic, but the album is horribly confused. Although it seems good at the first hurdle, it stumbles and falls over itself, clumsily making it to the end with little success and a feeling that it almost had something, but just fell short.

Bonnie Stuart

Follow The Courier music section on Twitter - @TheCourierMusic

Gig announcements, updates on the Newcastle music scene, track recommendations and exclusive articles.

Oh, and plenty of #hashtags!

The Courier

localmusic.33

Monday 29 October 2012

thecourieronline.co.uk/music c2.music@ncl.ac.uk | @courier_music

SceNE: Introducing... Little Comets

Delving into the region’s exploding music scene, Jenny Hopps catches up with one of its most successful exponents over the last few years...

Unknown Pleasures

No artist. No title.

No clue...

This week we gave Alice Brien a copy of John Carpenter’s score for the 1981 film Halloween II, full of tense atmospherics and electronic experiments, without telling her what it was. Here’s how she got on...

New Release

Little Comets Life Is Elsewhere

O “

n Monday, I came to see Slash here,” Matt exclaims. “He stood exactly where I’m going to be stood on stage. How crazy is that?” To say that Little Comets are looking forward to this, a homecoming show at the majestic O2 Academy tonight, is somewhat of an understatement. “I’ve been thinking of all the big acts we’ve seen here in the past: Biffy Clyro, Slash...

I can’t believe that we get to inhabit the same space as them.”

The tour to date has seen them largely play at more intimate venues; their largest show so far being at The Ritz in Manchester, the 1,300 capacity behemoth. “It was one of the biggest venues we’ve ever played,” Matt chimes. “We drove past places where we’d previously gigged in Manchester – and we’ve played every shithole going – and it just felt surreal that we were playing there.” With the prospect of such a grand show, came a certain amount of trepidation; “[w]e weren’t sure how our sound

would translate from our rehearsal room preparation to such a big venue,” he admits. “It was a pretty daunting opening gig, but it went really well.”

I briefly name-drop their first single ‘One Night in October’, but they don’t entertain it. I quickly sense that I’ve hit something of a sore spot. “We’ve moved on in the last four years,” grumbles Rob. In sharp contrast, there’s a unanimous positivity surrounding the new record, Life Is Elsewhere.

Has it been well received? “Me mam liked it, so I’m happy,” Rob concedes. I laugh, but he’s not joking.

“She’s my biggest critic; when she said the first album was a bit ‘busy’ I was like ‘ah, shit!’ Yet when a random critic reviews our stuff I couldn’t care less what they think.” They do, however, value the support they’ve received from the outset; they namedrop Steve Lamacq instantly, “a DJ we listened to as kids, [who] has been promoting our music from the start which is very cool, because he plays tracks he genuinely likes and has no agenda to say nice things.”

It’s no secret that, after being dropped by Colombia Records before its release, the production of their first record was a drawn-out, stressful experience for the whole band. In response, it’s no surprise that they’re relieved that the second album has been so chilled in comparison, for the most

Oh, What A Night

Alternative Halloween nights out:

Halloween at World Headquarters

Itchy Feet Wednesday 31 October, 11pm, £6 Already planning what to do and where to go for this year’s Halloween? Well think and look no further than Itchy Feet at the legendary World Headquarters for, as founder Leo suggests, some good “old fashioned fun”.

Originating from humble beginings in a small attic type venue in Leeds, Leo – AKA Mr Itchy Feet – set out wanting to play the music he loved to those of us who would appreciate something off the beaten track; something different from the typical chart hits of Rihanna or, dare I say it, One Direction. He admits to me “I’m a DJ first and foremost”, and this seems very apt from my experience of the night.

Swing, Soul, Funk, Blues and Rock n Roll are all to be expected at the event, The Isley Brothers being a particular favourite of the DJ along with, of course, The Beatles, who always go down a treat.

The experience is a honey trap for those of us whose favourite music never gets played on a standard

part concocted in Matt’s bedroom.

The departure of their drummer during that time, however, did cause some inevitable issues, explains Rob: “We added the drums afterwards and so were never sure what the finished track would sound like. When we played around with the guitar parts it just felt like there was too much space in the track.” Michael quickly butts in laughing, “the problems are never ending, but we love it really, deep down.”

Is their new album the same ‘kitchen sink’ style as the first, or have they progressed to something a bit deeper? ‘Violence Out Tonight’, written about rape, suggests they might have. Matt argues though “I think that the lyrics and themes of our songs are the main link between the two albums. Our music has been written and made in the same way, just with slight changes – we just messed around!” This explains the unintentional ‘Indian’ guitar licks and ‘samba-like’ percussion that can be found across the album.

Above all else, it’s clear that Little Comets didn’t worry about the ‘crucial’ second album; the downfall of so many artists before them. “We just made the music we wanted to make,” claims Rob. It is this committed-yet-relaxed attitude towards their music that has led them to create a sensational record.

Burial Ground, Newcastle University Students’ Union, 11pm, £4 Shake, theCUT, 11pm, £5 night out.

More importantly though, Itchy Feet is a place where you can really let your hair down and dance your socks off. “So many event nights take themselves seriously,” Leo admits, but it is the “friendly vibe” of the evening that makes it particularly unmissable.

A Nightmare on Collingwood Street, Floritas/Madame Koos/House of Smith, 10pm, £7 Amy Forde

Born on Halloween, Digital, 10,30pm

One of the first things anybody finds out about me is that there isn’t a music genre that I dislike, but this album has really pushed my boundaries even further.

Even after listening to the album several times I am finding it difficult to fit it into a certain genre; the closest I could come up with is some odd combination of alternative/psychedelic/electric, so for someone who is mostly into acoustic and rock I found this album surprising and different to say the least!

In general, I found all of the songs quite monotone and, unfortunately, they all reminded me of the ringtones you get for free on a new mobile phone – the ones that you insist on listening to over and over until you find one you can just about tolerate.

However, on second listen the repetitive riffs start to become quite catchy, and the synthesiser is nicely complemented by wind instruments with drones underneath, especially in Track 2 [‘Laurie’s Theme’]. This all comes together to create an ethereal atmosphere, which is a theme that rings constant throughout. It is, however, contrasted by some space-age tones in other tracks, namely Track 5 [‘Still He Kills’] and Track 7 [‘Mrs. Alves’].

However, the suspense built in the opening track [‘Halloween Theme’] hints at this album being something more exciting than it really turns out to be, with the dancey riffs still leaving you feeling like there’s something missing.

Track 3 [‘He Knows Where She Is’] continues to pick up the pace and – whilst oddly echoing Countdown – keeps the album from becoming a chill-out record, which isn’t helped by the slightly on-edge, anxious feel that would not be out of place in a ‘70s sci-fi TV show. I’m not certain if it’s the lack of vocals in particular, but I was still left expecting more even as the album came to a close.

Essentially, this is not everyone’s cup of tea. It feels dated and at times quite empty, but has the potential, if remixed with a better bassline and beat, to not be out of place in a dance night at a club.

All of these things said, this CD would fight for a spot in my house, if not only to be used as a coaster.

Alice Brien

The Courier

musicfeatures.35

Monday 29 October 2012

Eyes on the prize The Mercury Music Prize is awarded on Thursday, which in recent years has become something of a music industry Grand National. As usual, it’s anyone’s race - check out the odds below and pick your own winner...

Alt-J An Awesome Wave

Richard Hawley Standing At The Sky’s Edge

Django Django Django Django

Plan B Ill Manors

Alt-J, a group of lads from Leeds and Cambridge, are an odd bunch to pin down. They love their geometry, named their band after the keyboard shortcut to make a triangle on a Mac, and flick through more genres in one album than Radiohead have done in their entire career. An Awesome Wave is still one of the most disquietingly beautiful albums of the year; so sparse in sound and so delicate. ‘Dissolve Me’ is very clappy and breezy whilst ‘Fitzpleasure’ has a much heavier tone to it. This flitting between genres never really feels disorienting, instead swooning through the speakers like some golden syrup that’s a bit down in the dumps.

The great harmonies and tight production makes it an altogether interesting package, and isn’t that what the Mercury Prize is all about?

Standing At The Sky’s Edge is an album that manages to combine sounds from the east with guitars very much from the west, and bring it all together with the vocals of a man who is an absolute legend in his home town of Sheffield. The beauty of this album is that, whilst some songs come in at over seven minutes, they don’t feel like it. There’s no overindulgence, just a delicate balance of sounds that combine to create atmospheric alternative rock music that is very easy on the ear. The title track is a perfect example of this. Put it on and 6 minutes 39 seconds later, you’re ready to listen to it again. The album carries on in a similar vein and is well worth a listen – it is a truly mercurial Mercury nomination, which is rightly one of the favourites and is relishing it’s time in the spotlight.

After seeing Django Django live this summer, I can safely say that their wild performances completely live up to their universally-acclaimed self-titled debut album. With a few listens of ‘Default’, you’ll be a convert to the wonderful world of this psychedelic band if you weren’t already firmly there. Extremely catchy and well-crafted, they have taken everything at their disposal and shoved it together to create something undeniably unpredictable, with ‘60s-esque riffs and hooks that leave you wanting more every time. ‘Hail Bop’ and ‘Firewater’ are tantalizing stand-outs. It’s effortlessly mind-melting, and the entire experience is like nothing you’ll have listened to so far this year.

I can only hope their second effort is as good as their first.

Anyone looking for another Defamation could be quite disappointed – Ben Drew has left the soul influences behind and returned to rap and R&B. A gratuitous album in terms of its crass language and dark tone, this is not an easy listen. It might make more sense when listened to alongside the film of the same name but, on its own, it seems overly dark. The hooks are much more stripped back, the drum beats sound more synthesised and there is much less singing to offset the rapping. R&B fans should take note as it stands out with its aggressive tone and interesting layers but I would have liked to see something more in the style of The Defamation Of Strickland Banks, a genre that is much less utilised today.

13/8

11/2

6/1

7/1

Chris Taylor

Jessie Ware Devotion

Kris Holland

Ben Howard Every Kingdom

Beth Durant

The Maccabees Given To The Wild

Richard Jones

Field Music Plumb

2012 is all about the ladies. First Lianne La Havas comes out of nowhere with a Willy Mason duet, then Savages smash their way to the top of the blogosphere and now Jessie Ware, best known for her collaborations with SBTRKT, has been popping up all over the place, from Jools Holland to… erm… Sunday Brunch. With silky smooth vocals and production that just glides along ever so effortlessly, Devotion is proof that Jessie Ware could reach pop stardom, even if she didn’t intend it. It’s a very accessible album that’s not too mainstream for the SBTRKT lovers, but not too off the mainstream for your casual listener. A nice balance that’s very hard to strike, Jessie Ware hits it perfectly.

The debut release from the Devon based singer-songwriter proves English surfer indie folk can more than stand up to the likes of the Americans such as Jason Mraz.

The record explores every aspect of acoustic folk indie, from fast paced anthems such as lead single, ‘Old Pine’ to slower tracks such as the beautiful ‘Everything’ and dark ‘Black Flies’. Each song shows the depth of Howard’s ability, and his unique vocals and sound mean that Every Kingdom stays strong throughout. The highlight of the album is ‘Keep Your Head Up’, an upbeat happy indie pop song that seems to be a hit with everyone. The future of English singer-songwriters is assured with this brilliant debut from a talented artist... and not that other ginger guy.

The Maccabees are familiar to every indie fan who has been to festival in the last 5 years. They have a huge fanbase that has been growing along with their esteem within the music world, and this looks to carry on exponentially.

This album, Given To The Wild, sees spacious songs crafted with intelligence, which often change tempo, building crescendos before slinking back into themselves into tender moments that are very easy on the ear. ‘Pelican’ and ‘Feel To Follow’ are the two tracks that stand out on the album, and both demonstrate the features I just mentioned well. They might be worth a cheeky punt as outsiders if the judges don’t fancy Messrs. Hawley or B to take home the prize.

A somewhat outside bet for the 2012 Mercury Music prize, Field Music are a band with an intriguing spooky vibe. Using deep synth and haunting drum patterns to back the high pitched vocals of lead singer David Brewis – Brewis One. Their only possible comparison as a band may be The Divine Comedy due to Brewis One’s voice whilst only other consistent band member Peter – Brewis Two – drums and sings along merrily in the background. Lyrics like ‘I am just like everyone else’ are guaranteed to put a smile on a listener’s face. A thoroughly enjoyable album that is easy to listen to as the songs do not get boring due to their short nature.

8/1

12/1

12/1

16/1

Chris Taylor

Michael Kiwanuka Home Again

Tim Sewell

Liane La Havas Is Your Love Big Enough?

Josh Nicholson

Kris Holland

Roller Trio Roller Trio

Sam Lee Ground Of Its Own

Muswell Hill native and all-round nice guy Michael Kiwanuka fully deserves his nomination, having single-handedly reincarnated the feel-good, heartfelt soul associated with the 1970s. Debut album Home Again is a tribute to the iconic songwriters of the era, namely Bill Withers and Curtis Mayfield, whose talents live on through Kiwanuka’s emotive vocals. A warm record that combines diversity with an unexpected, mature sophistication, this is likely to be the thinking man’s winner come awards night.

Fulfilling her promise – as highlighted by BBC’s Sound of 2012 Poll – Is Your Love Big Enough? is the confident, and now commercially successful, debut record from South Londoner Lianne La Havas. The market for female solo artists is notoriously over-subscribed at present, yet the soulful angst of ‘Lost & Found’ and the delightful left-field R&B/pop of ‘Forget’ at least stand Lianne in good stead. Expect her to pick up plaudits rather than first prize.

Self proclaimed thrash-jazzers Roller Trio are exactly what the prize is all about – acknowledging novel music that breaks away from the generic blueprint. While not everybody’s cup of tea, their eponymous debut album is a voyage through lush instrumentals and tumultuous rock-infused breakdowns. A really interesting sonic journey that will appeal to anyone with a slightly eclectic taste, what it lacks in vocals it more than makes up for in sheer audacity.

Sam Lee’s debut album Ground Of Its Own is comprised of contemporary folk songs learned from traveller communities that tell a narrative of their ancestry.

He employs a wide range of obscure musical instruments such as the shruti box evident in ‘The Tan Yard Side’. His drone-like singing, not entirely strange in the folk genre, becomes somewhat nonchalant the more you are exposed. Modern audiences may be unacquainted with the instruments and composition but he pulls it off quite nicely.

16/1

20/1

20/1

20/1

Lee Abrahams

Chris Smith

Lee Abrahams

Rachel Horrocks

36.tvhalloweenlistings

Monday 29 October 2012

The Courier

TV Editor: Chris Taylor Online TV Editor: Ben Parkin

Top

5

The Simpsons: Treehouse of Horror Specials

Treehouse V Most people who have never watched The Shining can still talk about The Simpsons spoof. This episode also sees Homer create a time travelling toaster and the school turns to cannibalism. It’s also probably the goriest one, in reaction to a Congressional warning about cartoon violence.

ne of the standard Hollywood clichés that dominated the horror genre for decades was the token blonde girl - notable for her perky chest, who would eventually succumb to her inevitable death.

All it took was a little imagination from Joss Whedon to completely change this formula around in the late 90s. By all accounts any television show with the words “Buffy, Vampire and Slayer” within the title is asking for an early grave - but not with

Whedon behind the wheel. Buffy became something of a cultural phenomenon. Even after a commercial flop of a film and difficulties with network production, Buffy found its way onto our screens and into our hearts. It hasn’t even been on the air for almost ten years and still remains culturally relevant.

While it was fun to get lost in the world of demons, witchcraft and bleached blonde vampires, what made Buffy brilliant was its subliminally clever subtext which reflected the universality of everyday life. The monster-of-the-week scenarios often echoed issues of teenage angst, peer pressure, puberty and sexual orientation which many an adolescent could relate too.

Certainly Buffy was known for its sharp poignant

dialogue that made it fun for all ages, but it still had the ability to tingle your spine and make your hair stand up on end. The Emmy-award winning episode ‘Hush’ is a prime example of Buffy at its best. A masterful 44 minutes of television which is dialogue-less for 27 of those. The less-is-more-approach made ‘Hush’ the most popular and significantly scariest episode in the series. Forget Nightmare on Elm Street-fests or crappy gory remakes, if I can recommend anything for a Halloween marathon fest, it’s Buffy (hands down). If ever there was a series which blended horror, drama and comedy seamlessly this would be it.

The Walking Dead

Grimm

Goosebumps

N

G

W

Buffy the Vampire Slayer

O

Treehouse III Homer is almost murdered by a cursed Krusty doll (the ‘frogurt’ exchange when he buys it being the highlight of the episode). There’s a King Kong parody, and a zombie outbreak accidentally caused by Bart and Lisa.

Luke Hearfield

Treehouse IV Homer sells his soul to the Devil (Flanders) for a doughnut. He spends the day in Hell before the Jury of The Damned decide his fate. The school bus is attacked by an evil gremlin that only Bart can see, and a Dracula parody is introduced with “We just threw something together with vampires.

Enjoy!”

Treehouse II A magical monkey’s paw grants the Simpsons three wishes that horribly backfire (even World Peace). Bart uses psychic powers to turn Homer into a Jack-in-the-box, and Burns’ Frankensteinesque attempts to create a new robot worker are ruined when he uses Homer’s brain.

Treehouse VII Bart’s secret evil twin escapes from the attic, Lisa becomes god of a tiny universe, and Kang and Kodos take over the world by posing as the 1996 presidential candidates. Four elections later, it’s still worth a laugh (‘Abortions for some, miniature American flags for others!’).

Becca Price

Watch, Monday 9pm

FX, Friday 10pm

ow this is how you start a third season.

The episode begins slowly and silently but the pace quickens and the action continues to build with dismemberments, zombie firing ranges and zombies in armour.

We meet the survivors after winter has passed and the cold did little to diminish the undead like everyone had hoped. Things have changed, beards are bushier, Lori’s pregnant belly is bigger, Rick is clearly the leader (it’s not a dictatorship, it’s a Ricktatorship) and the group dynamics have improved as everyone seems closer and works together. Well apart from Rick and Lori who haven’t resolved their issues from the previous seasons.

Less is revealed about Michonne, the mysterious woman with two zombie pals, and Andrea. This episode is driven by instinct; they need a place to stay because they are walking around with a ticking time bomb – the pregnant lady. Hence why the group ironically find the prison the perfect place to call home; its structure built to keep people in, is the perfect place to keep zombies out.

What follows then is military style attacks on zombies as the group fights their way into the prison. There is so much gore that the sickest of viewers will not be disappointed. Then just as the action peaks the episode ends, leaving the group facing new problems.

Charley Monteith

rimm is back this Monday and season one’s explosive conclusion gave us a lot to look forward to!

We saw Detective Nick Burkhardt reveal to girlfriend Juliette his true identity as a Grimm and then Juliette being poisoned by evil Hexenbiest Adalind. Hank finally saw Monroe in his Blutbad form, and another Wesen turning human again as he dies and becomes worried for his sanity. Most shockingly of all however is the revelation that Nick’s mother has returned from the dead, posing the question where has she been all these years?

The show still has a lot of storylines to uncover, for example who really is Police Captain Renard?

Friend or foe? This season is bound to reveal what his relation is to the Royal Families and why he is so keen on keeping Nick close. While Juliette’s life is on the line as she lies in a coma in the hospital, Nick will continue to take justice into his own hands, trying to keep the Wesen world in harmony with the help of Monroe and Rosalee, and perhaps his mother.

Feeling like a mix between Once Upon A Time and Fables, which bring fairy tale characters into the real world, Grimm adds a nice crime procedural twist to an already quite popular mix of genres.

To paraphrase Hitchcock, who doesn’t love a good murder with fairies and stuff ?

Stephanie Brannan

ho knew Ryan Gosling’s acting career had such ghostly beginnings? Take a little trip down memory lane and you can discover Gosling wasn’t always this cool.

Looking more reminiscent of Draco Malfoy after a stint in Azkaban than the boy who grew up to be Hollywood’s coolest kid, he starred in a Goosebumps episode, aged 15. Yes Goosebumps, that corny American kid’s drama that scared you shitless a few years back; the one that ‘totally embraced’ the Americans’ infatuation with Halloween, and slowly ingrained itself into our psyche.

‘Say Cheese or Die’, was more ‘cheese’ than ‘die’.

Not the most palpitating of episodes I have to say.

Gosling starred as Greg, a gawky teenager who stumbled upon a camera that predicted unfortunate events when a photo was taken. The sincerity of it all was somewhat undermined by Gosling’s persistence to produce an ambitiously macho inflection regardless of the situation.

Props didn’t help his cause either; a Polaroid camera that looked like it belonged on a 1970s episode of Doctor Who and a leather waistcoat that didn’t belong on anyone. Coupled with a terribly ambitious amount of storyline for half an hour, and a ‘villain’ who looked more like Gandalf on a skiing holiday, I do wonder how kids ever found this plausible. But then what do I know, I’m sure Ryan’s not losing any sleep over it!

Jack Thomas

The Courier

featurestv.37

Monday 29 October 2012

thecourieronline.co.uk/tv c2.tv@ncl.ac.uk | @courier_tv

That TV show you like is going to come back in style

At the turn of the ‘90s, David Lynch took a formula akin to Corrie and flipped it on its head with malevolent owls and creepy red rooms. Chris Binding explores why it’s a damn fine piece of television

A

merican TV nowadays is quickly surpassing literature and movies as a critical and commercial source of entertainment, with the complex storylines and thrilling character arcs of series like The Wire matched equally in their expansive breadth as well as their ambition.

However, looking at the leviathans of American TV, it is important to reminisce a show so revolutionary that it dissected the stale American sitcom/ soap while simultaneously re–inventing it, disturbing audiences and changing perceptions towards the ambition and creative scope of television.

The show in question, Twin Peaks, was the brainchild of Mark Frost and David Lynch, examining the murder of all-American sweetheart ‘Laura Jayne Palmer’ in the idyllic forest town of the same name. However, not everything is as it seems with the skilled writers creating a world bordering on the periphery of a dream, from the kooky catchphrases of the sitcom formula to the surreal and uncanny imagery of the horror genre (after all this is Lynch, the director of fun family romp Eraserhead).

Trying to summarise Twin Peaks without revealing spoilers is an arduous task. Although you can see the influence it had in shows such as The Sopranos in its slow burning character development, making the series’ twists and turns all the more satisfying when (in true Lynchian style) suburban veneers are pulled away revealing the complex webs of corruption and ‘evil’ lurking within the idyllic town. Although the second series is often viewed as inferior due to studio pressure forcing Lynch to deliver a ‘reveal’ leaving the season writhing in paranormal confusion, it had already made its mark. Despite being cut after two seasons, the feature film Fire Walk With Me expanded the mythologies and characters of the show (with debatable success). Alongside the charmingly eccentric

Platform Girl appears to be enjoying her book before Ukulele Man starts publicly speculating about her age, but he continues. This is different from him shouting ‘nice tits, love!’ across the station, because he has a ukulele, and that makes everything automatically cutesy.

And her skin looked really, really great Why skin? Not her hair, or outfit, but skin. There are only two explanations: serial killer, or dermatologist (and even dermatologists can’t inspect for blackheads from that distance). This advert was brought to you by Buffalo Bill.

FBI agent Dale Cooper, the freshest aspect of Twin Peaks was its style, with Lynch pulling out all the stops in horrifically unnerving dream sequences; manipulating sound, image and mystery, while bringing the tools of psychological art-house to mainstream audiences. That’s why Twin Peaks was such an archetypally ‘creepy’ show, turning even the most mundane dialogue scenes into deeply unnerving experiences, interjecting into the narrative unexpectedly and sweeping viewers along (willing or not) upon a surreal psychedelic trips.

American television may never have asked for Lynch’s warped perception but it hasn’t looked back since; influencing the studio backing of ‘high concept’ American TV, the use of unknown character

actors and undoubtedly lodging its experimental style in everything from the dream sequences of The Sopranos to Lost. Regardless of its cultural phenomena, the beauty of Twin Peaks is its cult following, from fans firing memorable quotes to an official festival taking place in the shooting location, North Bend, Washington. The TV show also refuses to die, continually capturing the imagination of future generations and immersing them in its uncanny world. Although the show lamentably faded into obscurity long before its time, its biggest impact was on the industry, forcing executives to ‘wake up and smell the coffee’ and realise that television was indeed full of creative possibilities which in itself is a ‘damn fine’ achievement.

As America starts to nick more and more ideas from the UK, Tria Lawrence takes a look at why things seem to get lost somewhere over the Atlantic and the examples we are best forgetting exist

A

Becca Price doesn’t find a match with nauseously twee Match.com adverts Girl on the platform, smile

Transatlanta-schism

merica has brought some brilliant TV to us over the years. However, when they run out of ideas they tend to go for the smalltown high school dramas and there are only so many times that you can take pretty 25 year-old actors and make them play overly talented 16 year-olds.

This is when America turns to remaking British programmes and usually fails to match the original brilliance. They struggle with this for two main reasons – they either fail to be different enough from the original or they try too hard to be different, leading to an alienation of the audience or a loss of the show’s original ideas.

Sticking too closely to the British originals can

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be a big problem. The Skins pilot followed the exact script of the original and no-one thought to change the British slang for Americans, meaning they alienated all of their potential viewers from the beginning. The IT Crowd also kept the original script as well as an original actor, Richard Ayoade, as Moss. It looked like nothing more than a pale imitation of the original and unsurprisingly they never got past the pilot.

However, The Office and Shameless, both successful remakes, also stuck closely to the British originals. The difference is that they didn’t copy exactly, both managing to do their own interpretations instead. Coupled with this, The Office had a great supporting cast that expanded the storylines

(although my personal preference for Steve Carrell over Ricky Gervais may have been its saving grace).

The bigger problem seems to be their ability to completely miss the point of the original in trying to be different from it. Going back to Skins, they changed Maxxie, gay and male, into Tea, a lesbian cheerleader. They also turned Cassie/Cadie from ditzy crazy into downright scary crazy. In their attempt to be different they lost two characters that might have improved the show significantly. Another is Being Human, where they do this by being too literal. The characters, rather than being metaphors for addiction (vampire), agoraphobia (ghost) and dealing with HIV (werewolf), became an excuse for another TV show to fuel the Twilight obsessed. Similarly the original Life on Mars was a reference to a David Bowie song and a metaphor for the completely alien environment Sam Tyler finds when transported back to 1973. America made it too literal, the ending showing that Sam was dreaming while cryogenically frozen on his way to a mission on Mars.

But again, some work - Shameless managed to keep the point of the show intact by not forgetting that it was simply about a dysfunctional working class family.

There are so many other examples of bad American remakes of British TV (like The Inbetweeners, whose trailer is completely cringe worthy and awful) that make it feel like they should stick to creating their own original programmes. Nonetheless, they should keep trying because sometimes we get things like The Office and Shameless to make us forget the mangled mess they made of the rest.

She wasn’t a natural blonde, but that’s what made him fond of her Listen to him. He isn’t fond of her for her bleached hair. He has processed this new information mere milliseconds before singing that line.

He’s a psychopath. He’ll say anything to get her.

Look at those big, unblinking eyes. He probably does this daily, luring female commuters home with him (‘Oh, it’s ok, he’s got a ukulele, he’s harmless. He’s sweet. We’re probably just going to watch a rom-com or something’) for his Woman Suit.

A train arrives, and there’s a brief moment of tension where Platform Girl may have escaped. Ukulele Man looks sad, like an abused puppy watching you eat Christmas dinner. But no! She was just walking over, and gives him a little smile. Happy ending, join Match.com today.

Bizarrely, Match claim to take credit for this apparently spontaneous meeting. The early version even used the line ‘we make moments like this happen every day’. No you don’t. That slogan would only apply if you had Platform Girl slouched in front of her laptop, casually deleting messages from ‘Ukulele_83’ and drinking a hot chocolate.

Perhaps this was the implication all along. ‘Look what happens when you go outside! You’ll be harassed by buskers! Have complete strangers loudly comment on your physical appearance! Or sign up to Match.com and find someone who’ll take you to Pizza Express without commenting on your skin’.

It’s almost as bad as their previous ad, where two idiots sang a terrible duet about liking ‘old movies… like Godfather III’. Together, they form a series of trailers for some nightmarishly twee chick flick. There’s a frustrated screenwriter lurking in Match’s marketing department, composing the next advert on a children’s xylophone, wondering how to make the cashier in the cupcake shop see what a really nice guy he is. Beware.

38.filmfeatures

Monday 29 October 2012

The Courier

Film Editors: Hayley Hamilton and Sam Hopkins Online Film Editor: Chris Binding

Top

5

Cinemanic Rant Flasher Slasher: Sex and the Horror Film

Horror Movie Deaths

5

Kristi Angus in Jason X Sure, the film may be abysmal (as number ten in the Friday the Thirteenth canon what else do you expect?); but you can’t fault it for this innovative death scene. Angus gets her head frozen via liquid nitrogen and then smashed into a thousand pieces by iconic movie monster Jason Voorhees.

For sheer originality, this one has to make the list.

4

This is the genre that gives the definition of ‘safe sex’ a completely different meaning.

Hey - glad to have your attention. Yes this week’s rant is all about thrills, chills, and boobs (not necessarily in that order). Is it any coincidence that scary films are littered with scantily-clad women?

Horror and sex are a lot like Ant and Dec - you can’t really have one without the other, at least in mainstream horror. It’s not enough that we want

to be scared, but God forbid the audience doesn’t get some side-boob action from Jamie-Lee Curtis before Michael Myers starts slicing away. God bless American film producers.

Nowadays, sex is just an external part of the film.

It doesn’t help guide the narrative or provide an artistic backdrop to the gore - it’s essentially there because it’s there. The average viewer for these overthe-top slasher films are males between the ages of eighteen and thirty-five. I don’t want to disgrace the name of Hitchcock but the man may be inadvertently responsible for the wave of torture porn films that have arisen in the last decade. When Marion Crane climbed into that shower only to be butchered at the hands of a disturbed Mrs. Bates

in Psycho, Hitchcock opened a new door of terror.

People checked the locks twice before climbing into a shower and film producers looked for more creative ways of killing people in the nude.

Unfortunately though most directors don’t have the artistic finesse of Hitchcock and all audiences received were disturbing and often amusing ways of mutilating dumb American teenagers. If you really want to feel violated while watching a movie you only need to indulge in the Hostel or Saw franchises, but what really takes the cherry is the Dutch film The Human Centipede. Go ahead: I’m daring you to Google it now.

Luke Hearfield

Monster deathmatch

With Halloween finally upon us, Online Film Editor Chris Binding ponders the question which has plagued horror fans for decades: which horror character would you put your money on in a grisly death match?

Freddy Kruger

Johnny Depp in A Nightmare on Elm Street

Pros: Can bend the fabric of space and time, with razor sharp death claws and the ability to ‘out-grunge’ anyone.

Cons: History of child killing (boo!) and mostly picks on teenagers. With the advent of energy drinks and party drugs, he might spend a lot of time sitting on the bench. He enjoys making puns more than killing people which is a serious disadvantage against his more reserved brethren.

In his first movie role before he became a global superstar, Depp took the obligatory step that any actor takes: he starred in a low-budget horror. Fortunately for us, Nightmare turned out to be pretty good. Depp’s death scene ranks as one of the most inventive, as good old pizza-face Freddy Krueger slashes Johnny to ribbons before a fountain of blood cascades onto the ceiling. Poor Johnny never saw it coming: neither did the ceiling.

3

John Hurt in Alien As one of the most iconic scenes in horror-movie history, it would be criminal to not include Hurt’s death scene in this list. Labelled as the ‘chestburster’ scene (no prizes for guessing what happens there), Hurt becomes the first victim of the title namesake. Director Ridley Scott refused to say what would happen in the scene, so the look of horror on the rest of the cast’s faces is genuine.

2

Hannibal Lector Pros: He is cultured and well – spoken, bringing a touch of class to the psychopath (alongside cooking a mean Sunday Roast that is definitely better than your nana’s).

Cons: A high protein diet can leave him cranky and irritable and coming off as a bit of a knob. He’s more likely to eat your friends than get along with them.

Alien

Mega Sharks/ Giant Octopi Pros: Growth hormones are awesome if you are evil and have no ethical conscience. It’s as simple as making Sea–Monkeys; just sprinkle a bit powder on and boom!

You have a giant *insert animal name here*.

Cons: Just avoid coastal towns, oil–rigs or anywhere with a mountain military research base. If you are unfortunate enough to encounter one, their terrible animation should keep even the least dexterous fellow safe.

Pros: Freud’s worst nightmare can either impregnate you or give you a healthy dose of phallic pain although you don’t normally get a choice in the matter. Sleek, deadly and importantly (barring Jason in Jason X) inter–planetary.

Cons: Weakness to strong female leads and the poor creative direction of film producers and directors.

Jason

Dracula

Drew Barrymore in Scream

Pros: Before Twilight, everyone at some point has wanted to be a vampire. Charming and powerful, the ability to fly, multiple mistresses and a sweet pad coupled with immortality.

Screw you Richard Branson.

Cons: Opening the curtains.

Easily one of the finest scenes in a horror film; Wes Craven’s Scream revived the flagging slasher genre by dispatching its lead starlet within ten minutes.

Barrymore plays Casey Becker, a feisty high-school student who receives threatening phone-calls and a visit from the now iconic Ghostface. She ends up being dispatched-by-knife rather quickly, with her “liver in the mailbox.” Poor old Casey.

1 Janet Leigh in Psycho Hitchcock concocted a masterpiece when he offed lead actress Janet Leigh within thirty minutes in the masterpiece that is Psycho. We all know how it goes: the shower, the knife, the blood-curdling screams, the screeching violins. Rumour has it that following production on this film, Leigh refused to take a shower again, sticking to baths: perhaps you’ll follow suit.

Sam Hopkins

Pros: Ability to always catch you however slow he walks (did a course in cartography at camp before drowning). He is pretty huge, debatably invincible and you can stick him in the freezer for later use if you so wish.

Cons: Quite reserved, lack of charisma and a real mother’s boy. Take away his mask and machete and he just looks like some sub-standard boss off Resident Evil.

Zombies Pros: Like Pick ‘n’ Mix they come in loads of different varieties with a cornucopia of different speeds, limbs and groans. They are also always recruiting and have a strong team ethic.

Cons: Forgetting Land of the Dead,, they are un-organised and motivated by base desires, often seen to wander nonchalantly through life. Sort of like students really.

Pinhead Pros: He’ll tear your soul apart… no, seriously.

Cons: Can only be summoned through a Rubik’s Cube time amulet. Stick to jigsaws and you should be fine.

Illustrations by: Julia Makojnik and Daisy Milburn

The Courier

reviewsfilm.39

Monday 29 October 2012

thecourieronline.co.uk/film c2.film@ncl.ac.uk | @Courier_Film

Paranormal Activity 4 (15) Another year: another Paranormal Activity film.

While usually the thought of viewing another recycled concept in an otherwise homogenous series would detour me from seeing a film like this, I was actually excited to see the new Paranormal Activity outing.

There’s no denying that horror sequels have a predisposition to dip in quality, but remarkably the previous two instalments of the popular franchise managed to hold their own. In particular, the third film provided both some truly edge-of-your-seat moments, as well a deeper exploration of the demonic mythos that surrounded Katie and Kristi during their childhood. Once again directors form the third film Henry Joost and Ariel Schulman are back at the helm, but while the fourth film may have plenty of jolts and shrieks, one can’t ignore when the milk is starting to turn sour.

The film takes place five years after where the second film left off when a possessed Katie wandered off into the night with nephew Hunter. This time the spooky phenomenon takes place in a suburban area of Nevada where sixteen year old Alex (Kathryn Newton) starts recording every aspect of her life when eerie little neighbour Robbie comes

Madagascar 3: Europe’s Most Wanted (PG)

to stay with her family and notices some strange commotions in her home. In typical paranormal fashion the ‘found footage’ builds on a slow trajectory. Small things like a moving shadow or creaky floorboard often lead to a false sense of security until Joost and Schulman pull the rug out from underneath you. While there are plenty of hideunder-your-coat moments, the shock value has unfortunately become a lot more gimmicky.

The original film worked on the idea of what you don’t see is scarier, whereas now it’s all about chairs suddenly moving, or knives disappearing. Often it feels like the directors are trying too hard to assimilate the terror of the first film and even go as far as parodying elements from other classic horror films as such as The Shining and The Blair Witch Project.

The performances are well delivered from its core cast but the flim-flam exchanges between Alex and her boyfriend often seem pointless and distracting.

What bothered me most about this movie the most was its inability to propel the storyline. As the film progresses the audience only learns snippets of information that provide any explanation to the disappearance of Hunter or what the deal with the mythological coven is. While this may be a clever

deploy in order to seduce audiences into seeing the inevitable fifth instalment, one can’t help but feel that the story meanders around without any context leading to an ending which felt hollow and unresolved.

VERDICT: Paranormal Activity 4 is more trick than treat. Now that the franchise has become a seasonal programme for audiences, the formula seems to have hit its wall in innovation. The film raises more questions than answers, but it does a good job of scaring you - there’s just no satisfying integral plot development.

Still Showing Sinister (15) Ruby Sparks (15) On the Road (15) Taken 2 (12A)

Luke Hearfield

Frankenweenie (PG)

Beasts of the Southern Wild (12A)

Barbara (12A)

Following Madagascar and Madagascar: Escape 2 Africa, the third film in the popular Dreamwork’s animated series is the best yet. Combining a strong, captivating storyline with colourful characters and pleasing visuals, Madagascar 3: Europe’s Most Wanted brings the series back to form.

Following Alex, Marty, Melman and Gloria, the action begins where the disappointing second film ended. As Alex the lion counts down the days of being stranded in the African wilderness, he and the gang long to go back to the place they call home; Central Park Zoo in New York. What follows is a James Bond-style sequence where the animals break into a casino in Monte Carlo to get the penguins back on side, leading to a fast paced, dramatic and at times hilarious car chase with bad girl Captain Chantel DuBois. This character is the perfect villain, with unique animalistic behaviour.

The animals run away with the circus and the introduction of a new cast of circus animals is genius and provides many comedy moments, especially from Stefano the Italian sea lion (Martin Short).

Although slightly predictable, much of the slapstick humour is well received by audiences of all ages. The pace slows down midway through the film in an overly-long stop in the Alps for the circus train, however, the action is generally fast paced and exciting. There is a good balance between humour and drama throughout the adventure. The animation is imaginative, creative and colourful with impressive scenes throughout.

Tim Burton’s Frankenweenie is stamped with many of the motifs of Burton’s long career. It is a heavily stylised work that juxtaposes traditional horror elements with the mundaneness of suburban existence, with an artistic style utilising spindly, shadowy figures. But that’s just the problem; there’s nothing new here. Burton is just going through the motions he knows so well.

Emotionally savaged by the death of his dog Sparky, Victor Frankenstein resurrects the dog using the power of science. However, his efforts do not go unnoticed by his classmates, who try and improve on his achievement in order to win the school’s Science Fair.

Technically and visually the film is certainly well crafted. Moreover, quite a few of the references made are well chosen and nicely executed. But that’s about as good as it gets.

It’s hard to label Frankenweenie: it’s not funny enough to be a comedy, not emotionally engaging enough to be a drama and not scary enough to be a horror film. Consequently it settles for all three and succeeds in none. The messages the film rather unsubtly tries to press are immature, there’s no real exploration of any themes and not enough action or suspense to grab the audience’s attention. The first two thirds drag on for far too long, whilst the final part is better but ends on such a sugary note that any sympathy soon left me. But most of all, there’s nothing new or interesting here to sink one’s teeth into. Burton has done this all before.

Is it possible to make a film about East Germany in which nobody is being spied on? Title character Barbara, once a highly respected paediatrician at a prestigious Berlin hospital, has been exiled to a rural area near the Baltic Sea for expressing her wish to leave the country. The authorities are still observing her, subjecting her to lengthy interrogations and humiliating strip searches if she is off the radar for more than a few hours. Her West German lover is trying to organise her escape, but her new hospital desperately needs her medical skills and ability to connect to troubled patients.

Throughout the film, the audience is constantly guessing who is secretly dealing with who, and can never fully guarantee what is a genuine blossoming romance and what is a set-up. The film’s sense of being constantly watched seems to reach out from the screen; the audience feels the same paranoia as Barbara every time a doorbell rings or a car pulls up outside the apartment. The film is often thin on backstory - if a character is in trouble with the authorities, it usually won’t be explained why, which only adds to the mood of secrecy and uncertainty.

But this never makes it difficult to follow, nor does it require an in-depth history lesson. It finds the balance between a dark, tense historical piece and a more human drama. It may have long periods of quiet brooding between vital scenes, but overall it adds to the constant tension that runs throughout the film.

VERDICT: This film is fun for everyone, with a lively cast of characters and an engaging plot. The circus theme is very entertaining, particularly in the montage set to Katy Perry’s ‘Firework’ and the catchy ‘Afro Circus’ song. Overall, a feel-good film which should cheer you up on an autumn evening.

VERDICT: Unfortunately, it’s just a rehash of Burton’s other movies and references to classical horror melded together to form a misshapen mess of a film. While not being actively bad, you don’t need to go see this unless you have a burning desire to be disappointed.

Finally landing on UK shores after success in the USA as well as scooping up prestigious awards at the Cannes and Sundance film festivals, Beasts of the Southern Wild is already an art house hit and generating plenty of early Oscar-buzz. This is director Benh Zeitlin’s first feature film and his brave tactic of using non-professional actors pays off to create a unique debut.

The story itself is intriguing and follows Hushpuppy (Quvenzhane Wallis – just six years old) and her life in ‘The Bathtub’, an area of swampland surrounded by levees in southern USA. Her father Wink (Dwight Henry) looks after her to an extent, but he is ill and dying so he teaches young Hushpuppy to be fearless and how to survive. Living in the swamps is not all peace, love and fun though, with waters rising and the mythical and pre-historic Aurochs (giant warthogs) seeking out the swamp after being frozen in the melting ice caps.

Tomboyish Hushpuppy’s whole universe seems to be unravelling, weighed down also by her missing mother.

Beasts of the Southern Wild is a truly heartwarming and tender tale and fantastically led by the wonderful Hushpuppy and her father Wink, who are both magnificent and one can easily forget they are both new to the world of acting. The plot does seem rather loose though and perhaps a tad ramshackle, similar to the huts and homes in The Bathtub. However, the film is beautifully shot and the Aurochs brought to life spectacularly considering the film and budget.

Alex Gray

Rollo Kirkman

VERDICT: A wonderful and beautiful tale told through the eyes of the central young protagonist.

It cements itself as one of the finest American art house films for many years. Definitely one of the better films of 2012.

Jacob Crompton-Schreiber

VERDICT: Comparisons with The Lives of Others may have some basis - Barbara looks at how observation can affect simple ideas of privacy and personal relationships. Although it can occasionally feel uneventful, it creates a tense atmosphere through an eerie feeling of surveillance.

Becca Price

40.sportfeatures

Monday 29 October 2012

Running away with it

PRESTON NORTH END

This week, The Courier presents some of the greatest unbeaten runs the sporting world has ever seen

The last few weeks have seen the conclusion of the career of one of the greatest racehorses to have ever competed.

The retirement of Frankel following his 14th consecutive win at the Champion Stakes at Ascot will sadden many racing fans, but it is now time to reflect on the achievements of the four-year-old colt.

Frankel’s trainer Sir Henry Cecil has called him the best that he has ever seen and many, such as the BBC’s horse racing expert Willie Carson, the best ever.

Judging from the reaction to his last win at Ascot, the public also believes Frankel to be a true great and he is now valued at £100m, which is good news for his owner, Khalid Abdullah.

The statistics of Frankel’s career are very simple: 14 races and 14 wins. This means that he has achieved a rare feat in sport, going through his entire career unbeaten. There are few sports where this can realistically be matched, but there are similar accomplishments,

such as perfect seasons and very long unbeaten runs.

Any sports person (or animal) able to complete such an achievement is worthy of note, and although some are very famous such as Arsenal’s unbeaten season in 2003/04 and Joe Calzaghe’s 46 wins from 46 fights, were you aware of the Calgary Stampeders or Esther Vergeer?

Freddie Caldwell

MICHAEL PHELPS Michael Phelps’ dominance of the men’s swimming events at the 2008 Beijing Olympics is unparalleled in modern sport. His winning of eight gold medals, breaking seven world records and an Olympic record in the process, is close to unquantifiable. His achievement was not without precedent; fellow American Mark Spitz claimed seven golds in thenworld record times at the 1972 Munich games. However, prominent figures within the swimming fraternity doubted Phelps’ ability to replicate Spitz, let alone supersede him, most pertinently Ian Thorpe: Phelps’ teenage idol. Thorpe claimed afterwards that “Never in my life have I been so happy to have been proved wrong.”

Phelps qualified for the 2000 Sydney Olympic Games at the tender age of fifteen having finished second in the 200m Butterfly at the US trials; many tipping him for a future laced in gold.

The man who beat him in that particular race was then-world record holder Tom Malchow, who stated “Michael Phelps is awesome. He’s way ahead of where any other ‘flyer has ever been at his age.” Controversial swimming coach Gabe Mazurkiewicz, who was at the trials coaching the Bremerton sisters Tara and Dana said of Phelps, said “I’ve been in this business for almost 30 years and I’ve never seen anything like [Phelps].”

The Courier

115 years before Patrick Vieira, Thierry Henry, Robert Pires and the rest of the famous Arsenal side of 2003/04 won the title of the modern day Invincibles, Preston North End became the only other team to go through an entire football league season unbeaten.

PNE’s feat was achieved in the inaugural football league season of 1888/89 as they finished 11 points clear of Aston Villa to become the original champions of England. Admittedly, the Lancashire outfit only played 22 games, as opposed to the 38 matches Arsenal came through eight years ago. However, the quality of the team cannot be doubted as PNE won 18 of their 22 games, and finished with a goal difference of +59. This is all a far cry from the modern day Preston team who ply their trade in the third tier of English football competing against teams such as Crawley Town, Yeovil and Stevenage who can’t claim to have the

same historical record of the traditional Lancashire club. The 1888/89 PNE season included some complete routs; namely 7-0 drubbings of Stoke City and Notts County, as well as 5-0 wins over Derby County and West Brom. John Goodall and James Ross were the leading scorers both in the division and for Preston with 39 between them, writing themselves and their colleagues into the record books.

Preston’s moment of glory did, in fact, extend into 1890 when they successfully defended their title for their second and final League Championship title, despite losing 4 times that season.

In 2008, The Invincibles were honoured at Deepdale, PNE’s stadium, as a new 5,000 seater stand was opened, as part of the entire rebuilding of the stadium since the 1990s, called the Invincibles Pavilion.

Joey Barton

Phelps ultimately finished fifth in the final of the 200m Butterfly at Sydney, yet four years later in Athens, while still in his teens, he claimed six golds and two bronzes, making him the second most successful individual at any one games (behind Spitz).

Many realised that the 2008 Olympics could prove to be his watershed moment having achieved a clean sweep of golds in all the events he competed in at the previous year’s World Championships. His first gold was won in the 400m individual medley, supposedly Phelps’ weakest discipline. Eight days later, Phelps won his eighth as part of a quartet comprising of himself, Brendan Hansen, Aaron Peirsol, and Jason Lezak.

Spitz said after his record of seven golds had been equaled by Phelps “not only is this guy the greatest swimmer of all time and the greatest Olympian of all time, he’s maybe the greatest athlete of all time”. While Phelps proclaimed “Nothing is impossible. With so many people saying it couldn’t be done, all it takes is an imagination, and that’s something I learned and something that helped me.” He would go on to retire with a haul of 18 Olympic gold medals following his decision to quit after the 2012 London Olympics.

Ciaran McKenna

Back of the net Video of the week

Superstar Phelps taking to the water at the 2000 Sydney Olympics Photography: Getty Images

Spot the ball A

Testing times

1) In what year was Joe Calzaghe’s professional debut?

2)Who was Frankel’s regular jockey?

3)In what year did Michael Phelps win his first gold medal?

4)Which team holds the English Premier League record for most consecutive home games undefeated with 86 games between February 2004 and October 2008?

5)Which team holds the English Premier League record for fewest wins in a season with only a solitary win in the 2007/08 season?

1.) 1993; 2.)Tom Queally; 3.) 2004; 4.) Chelsea; 5.) Derby County

Anzhi Rap with Samuel Eto’o and Roberto Carlos

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fIqKhPtjfco After Liverpool’s game against them last week, why not further your knowledge of Anzhi Makhachkala with this excellent rap featuring Guus Hiddink and his squad.

- Jimmy Rice- @JimmyRiceWriter “Stewart Downing,he scores when he wants, chants the Kop#LFC”

(25 Oct) After being mocked all of last season for zero goals and zero assists, Liverpool fans embrace the rarity of a Downing goal.

1 2 3

Tip of the week

4

As well as being one of Newcastle’s beloved footballing heroes, Alan Shearer holds a special place in the hearts of Blackburn fans too, and they are relishing the prospect of seeing Shearer return to Ewood Park as their new manager.

The Courier fancies this dream to become reality and it is at decent odds too.

(Odds from Victor Chandler)

5

20/1

6

B

C

D

E

F

The Courier

featuressport.41

Monday 29 October 2012

ESTHER VERGEER Who is Esther Vergeer you may say?

This is the woman Novak Djokovic said was “one of the women in tennis I admire the most.” The last time Esther lost a match, Lleyton Hewitt was Men’s World Number one, David Sneddon was top of the charts after winning Fame Academy, and Labour were halfway through their second term in office.

Still nothing? To put it simply, Esther is the dominant force in Wheelchair Tennis.

Her current winning streak in singles is a staggering 470 matches since 2003, something that no athlete has come close to reaching. In numbers, her career is jaw-dropping: nine Australian Opens, nine French Opens, eight US Opens, ten Masters Titles and three Paralympic Titles since 2002.

In London, at Eton Manor, Vergeer won both the Singles and Doubles titles without dropping a set, impressive by any standards, but outstanding when

CALGARY STAMPEDERS combined with the length of time she has remained undefeated. This level of success has helped push both her and wheelchair tennis from the side-lines of sport into the mainstream, with crowds at this year’s Wimbledon taking the opportunity to watch matches taking place on the outer courts and paint the stands at the Paralympics a sea of orange. The Dutch team dominated with Vergeer simultaneously as the figurehead and helmsman.

Given the excitement and fever over Andy Murray’s maiden Grand Slam win this winter, it is a shame that the exploits of Esther Vergeer and other Paralympic athletes are largely ignored.

Considering the efforts and determination required to not only win a tournament, but to have continued this level of form for close to a decade is something to not only take note of, but for the entire world to know and celebrate.

Although, you would be forgiven for thinking that Canadians do not accept a sport if it doesn’t involve an ice hockey stick, in fact, American Football is incredibly popular. Never was it celebrated more than in Calgary in 1948 when the Calgary Stampeders became the first, and to this day, the only professional Canadian football team to complete a perfect season. They won the regular season with an impressive 12-0 record, an achievement still unrivalled.

However, though this may seem remarkable enough in itself, the Calgary Stampeders continued to surprise and

impress. They defeated the Regina Roughriders with an impressive 21-10 aggregate over two legs of a playoff, before travelling to Toronto for the 36th Grey Cup, to compete as the underdogs against the widely favoured veterans that were the Ottawa Rough Riders.

Undeterred by the odds stacked against them, the Stampeders worked the sleeper play and managed to win 12-7 to be crowned 1948 Grey Cup Champions and cap off their undefeated streak.

Although Calgary’s perfect season had already made history, the city left its mark on football in another form.

In the week of the Grey Cup finals, the Stampeders’ supporters descended on Toronto and started impromptu parties, parades, dances, cooked flapjacks and pancakes on the steps of City Hall, and even rode horses through the streets.

In short, the Calgarians created the incredible atmosphere of excitement and festivity that has continued with the Cup week every year since, making the games a national celebration, and a legacy of the 1948 Stampeders’ perfect season.

Christy Clemence

The modern day Stampeders at a 2006 training camp Photography: DanM (Calgary)

James Docherty

Let’s get fact up

This week in Jack MacKenzie’s sports statistics blog, Frankel ends his career in style, Messi breaks yet another record, the forgotten man in the Armstrong doping scandal, a stat-fuelled Tyne-Wear derby and a 17 year old high school kicker proves he is better than the pros

Frankel’s victory in the Champions Stake at Ascot last Saturday ensured that the horse finished his career unbeaten, winning 14 races out of 14.

Throughout his career, the horse nicknamed ‘Usain Colt’, won the 14 races by an average distance of 5.45 lengths, showing how imperious ‘Frankel the Freak’ was. Before Saturday’s race, Frankel had a handicap rating of 140, rating him as the best flat race horse in the world. The handicap rating is a complex formula which is used to rank horses for handicap races, where higher rated horses carry extra weight in order to attempt to level out the field. This rating is the second highest of all time, placing him behind Dancing Brave, who was rated at 141.

However, an unofficial, but widely recognised ranking, Timeform, has the £100 million horse ranked at 147, the highest of all time. The complex formula is calculated based on performance in relation to one horse, which is designated as the ‘yardstick’, because they meet the expected performance of their handicap rating. The other horse’s ratings are then calculated by how many lengths ahead or behind the ‘yardstick’.

The further a horse finishes ahead of the ‘yardstick’ over a shorter race distance, the more the handicap rating increases.

The Tyne-Wear Derby at the Stadium of Light, saw Cheick Tiote being sent off, becoming the first Newcastle player to be sent off in the fixture in the Premier League. During the 21 games between the two rivals, six Sunderland players had been dismissed, including two in the bad tempered encounter at St. James’ Park last March. The match also saw an extraordinary stat with Sunderland only managing a single shot on target out of a total of 21 attempts, giving them a woeful shot accuracy of 4.76%. The game also saw Newcastle’s Senegalese strike Demba Ba become Sunderland’s second top scorer, as the only person other than Steven Fletcher to score for the Black Cats this term.

Another amazing scoring feat was achieved this week in the extraordinary game at the Estadio Riazor as Barcelona overcame Deportivo La Coruna 5-4. Lionel Messi’s hat-trick broke the record for the most La Liga goals in a calendar year as his 44 goals this calendar year surpasses Cristiano Ronaldo’s 43 efforts on 2011. “La Pulga‘s” feat is made all the more remarkable considering we are only in October and there are another 9 La Liga games to go this year and the little maestro seems destined to at least break the 50 goal mark.

An extraordinary record emerged

from America this week as high-school kicker Austin Rehkow kicked a 67-yard field goal, beating the record for the longest field goal in the NFL, which currently stands at 63 yards. The 17 year old showed kicker Sebastian Janikowski, one of the four men to have hit a 63 yarder in the NFL, how to get it done; the Oakland Raider missed a 64 yard field goal in his side’s overtime win against the Jacksonville Jaguars.

Despite converting from 4 yards further than any pro player, the Central Valley High School senior does not even own the high school record, which stands at 68 yards. Although such long range field goals are relatively rare in the NFL because of coaches being wary of giving up good field position if a kick is missed, it is still astonishing that a 17 year old amateur has done what no professional has accomplished.

In the furore surrounding the Lance Armstrong doping scandal, one stat that seems to have gone unnoticed is the man who has replaced Armstrong as the record holder for consecutive tour wins.

As the seven consecutive titles have been nulled, the record for consecutive Tour wins reverts to Miguel Indurain, who is once again the only person to win the Tour de France 5 times in a row, which “Big Mig” did from 1991 to 1995.

To read this blog every week, check it out on http://thecourieronline.co.uk/sport/

Vergeer - the greatest Paralympian ?

Photography: Getty Images

Fancy writing for The Courier Sport? Email us: courier.sport@ncl.ac.uk Make sure to check out The Courier Sport Online: http://thecourieronline.co.uk/sport/ Follow us on Twitter: @Courier_Sport For more sports coverage, search for TCTV on facebook and listen to NSR: http://nsrlive.co.uk

42.sportintramural

Monday 29 October 2012

The Courier

Three and easy for Ecosoccer Intra Mural Mens Football Castle Leazes

0

Ecosoccer

3

By Rob Stacey at Close House A brace from Rob Stacey and a debut goal from Chris Humberston gave Ecosoccer a 3-0 win against Castle Leazes at Close House on Wednesday.

Constant rain before and during the game meant it was far from ideal playing conditions on an already very tricky surface, with the result that it was difficult for either team to play flowing football in the first 10 minutes.

The best scoring opportunities came from set pieces but with both defences dealing with anything thrown into the box comfortably, it stayed goalless. Leazes had the first real chance of the game when a player was sent through on goal down the left, however he was denied

by Ecosoccer keeper Christopher Jones, who came out and narrowed down the angle well.

Ecosoccer rode their luck when a pinged ball into their own box fell to the feet of a Leazes player, six yards out, but a superb last ditch goal-line clearance from Eco warrior Bart Smith kept Leazes at bay.

Ecosoccer’s only chance of the first half fell to converted striker Stacey, but he failed to place the ball beyond the Leazes keeper who smothered the ball well and the teams went in 0-0 at half time.

The second half started just as the first half left off and it seemed the game was petering out into a damp goalless draw, with both teams cancelling each other out.

However, after ten minutes Eco began to look the better side and the team most likely the end the deadlock, with the central midfield of Joey Jesmond, Tom Warren, and Jake Welltart starting to dictate the play. Despite the possession, Eco struggled to break down what was a solid defensive display by the Leazes lads.

Eventually, skipper-cum-tactician Tom Warren changed to a 4-4-2 formation and introduced summer signing Humberston, having an almost instant impact. The navy blues dominant spell continued and made it count just past the hour mark. Will Finelli sent through Stacey down the left, who cut in and

side footed into the far corner to open the scoring.

Castle Leazes responded with a dominant spell of possession, however, Stacey’s and Ecosoccers second goal dashed any hopes of a fightback.

A delicate chipped through-ball by Joey Jesmond picked out Stacey and he lifted the ball over the advancing keeper to double the lead.

Leazes threw bodies forward in search of a way back into the game, however they were exploited when Finelli got his second assist when he sent a low cross over from the left and impact sub Humberston put the ball between the keepers legs from eight yards to make it 3-0.

The Leazes lads missed a couple of chances to pick up a consolation goal, but overall the Eco defense held solid throughout, with excellent displays across the back four.

With a clean sheet and three points, it looks to be another promising start to the season for Ecosoccer.

Meanwhile Castle Leazes will need to up their level of performance drastically, if they are to have any hope of avoiding relegation.

Man of the Match: Rob Stacey

Medics 1st team silence Intra Mural Mens Footbal Medics 2nds

0

Medics 1sts

3

By Jack Legind at Longbenton

Houghton

Johnston

Kaznowski

Dalton

Taylor

Tam

Needham Hindley

Rhodes Batham

Bullock

Campbell

Davison

Anderson

English

Edwards

Emms

Durkan

Emmerson

Dhand

Harris

Anderson

Medic 1s ended the Medic 2s unbeaten start to the season with a comfortable 3-0 win in last Wednesday’s late kick off.

In a game that started with a lot of energy from both sides, early pressure from the 1s paid off after just four minutes, when Rhishi Dhand’s corner was headed in by Campbell to open the scoring at Longbenton’s 3G pitch.

Although Medic 1s continued to apply early pressure, the 2s soaked it up well and launched counter-attacks of their own; spurning a number of halfchances including an attacking free kick that was put wide by Josh Batham.

A cross-cum-shot from Hindley on the left that required a solid push over the bar from 1s goalkeeper Dale Anderson.

With the 2s starting to get more into the game, another chance to equalise appeared on 24 minutes when 1s midfielder Dave Edwards was adjudged to have committed a foul 25 yards out.

After receiving a stern talking to from the referee for kicking the ball away, Edwards and the rest of the 1s attempted to defend the free kick, which appeared to be handled inside the box by a 1s defender.

Missed by the referee, a goal kick was given – much to the disbelief of the entire Medic 2s team.

35 minutes in, a foul from Medic 1s left-back English gave the 2s yet another attacking set piece. This time from the right, Batham drew a fantastic acrobatic save from 1s keeper D. Anderson as he palmed it out for a corner to deny Batham his 14th goal of the season in only his 4th game.

The resulting 2s corner came to nothing, with the 1s countering and winning a corner of their own two minutes later.

Once again Dhand took the inswinging corner, this time lower than the others, resulting in a six-yard box scramble that eventually saw Edwards fire the ball into the back of the net to double the Medic 1s lead.

The Medic 1s didn’t have to wait too long to extend their lead further right on the stroke of half time. On this occasion, Davison shot a speculative 20yard lobbed effort towards Houghton’s goal, with the ‘keeper fumbling the ball through his raised arms and into the back of his own net for a seemingly unassailable 3-0 lead before the break.

The second half started with the Medic 2s ready to try and turn the game around, but chances for both sides were wasted before the 2s were awarded a free kick in a dangerous position.

Hindley tested the Anderson again in the 1s net from the set piece, and the ‘keeper was maybe given a slice of luck that his performance so far had warranted as Batham hit the wrong side of the post after the ‘keeper had parried the initial effort.

The Courier

intramuralsport.43

Monday 29 October 2012

‘Crouchy’ grabs late victory for the Oranje as Hendo Express shows no sign of stopping Intra Mural Mens Football Barca-Law-Na

1

Henderson Hall

2

By Lucy Williams Sports Editor

Barca’s captain Ollie Ingram takes a throw-in Photography: Katherine Massie

The relentless rain threatened yet another Intra-Mural washout at Longbenton on Wednesday, yet thankfully the pitches were not too water-logged and play could commence.

With Barca’s scheduled opening game of the season against Crayola being called off last week, the defending champions were hoping to kick-start their season with a victory, yet Henderson Hall FC managed to sneak a surprise 2-1 win to continue their impressive unbeaten run.

A mistake from the nervy looking Barca goalkeeper Wadhams 25 minutes into the first half led to Stephen Welch

noisy neighbours with crucial win Houghton was kept busy in the 2s net, and made up for his first half blunder early in the second, as he saved well for a corner, which was barely taken before a foul for pushing was given.

In keeping with the story of the first half, the Medic 1s had spells of possession and pressure, but final balls were dealt with and headers often well won by 2s defenders.

In the 61st minute, the Medic 2s then had another penalty appeal for handball turned down, as a shot rebounded up and hit 1s captain Niall Durkan’s arm.

The referee rightly waved the appeals away – Durkan’s arm was at his side and it was certainly not deliberate.

As the game progressed, the 2s looked like they were getting more of a foothold in the match, but the 1s were still controlling the game and having the lion’s share of possession.

Subs came on for both teams in the 67 minute mark, and their introduction injected some more pace into the game,

but the score remained unchanged as the game wore on.

Makeshift 1s left-back English created a chance for himself in the 78th minute, going on a marauding run out of his position and making a beeline for the 2s goal, before playing a tidy one-two and getting a shot away that was expertly blocked by a last ditch tackle just inside Houghton’s box.

As the 2s pressed to get themselves a goal, the 1s seemed comfortable absorbing the pressure until the 88th minute when Anderson could only parry a fierce shot into the path of 2s substitute Todd, but the ‘keeper recovered superbly to block the follow-up on the goal line, desperate for a clean sheet in his first game back since suffering broken fingers.

There was still time for Medics 1s substitute Adjetey to try and extend their lead, but after leaving two defenders in his wake made the decision to pass, when others may well have taken on the

shot from 15 yards.

After the game, 1s captain Durkan claimed that they had silenced their noisy neighbours with the win, and saying that there were 11 man of the match performances on the pitch that night.

2s player Rammell said that the team were disappointed with the loss and that it was a tough game, but that ultimately sloppy goals cost them the points. The win brings the newly-promoted Medic 2s back down to earth with their first defeat of the season, and puts Medic 1s in a strong position at this early stage of the season.

The two Medics teams have two more matches scheduled before Christmas, so the 2s won’t have to wait long to attempt to reclaim the bragging rights, or the 1s to show them that there’s only room for one Medic team in the top division.

Man of the Match: Dale Anderson

taking full advantage to give Henderson the lead.

After the interval, Barca’s Jamie Hurworth finally sought out an equalizer, with 15 minutes to go of the game after pressuring the Henderson Hall defence for most of the beginning of the second half. Yet, they were to suffer at the cruel hand of defeat with only seconds remaining, with a goal from Hendo centre forward Jack ‘Crouchy’ Mellor.

In a first half fraught with tension but few clear-cut chances, the opening of the game was relatively devoid of footballing skill. The beginning of the match

Although, it has to be said credit is due to the Hendo defence who managed to keep the usually relentless Barca attack at bay; stopping top goal-scorer Jamie Hurworth from making more than his solitary contribution to the score-line was key to the Hall’s success.

As the game was coming to an end, both teams looked capable of stealing a win. With just a minute to go, the game looked set to end one a piece, but Henderson Hall had other plans.

Taking advantage of the shapeless Barca defense, Mellor was through on goal with only the keeper to beat. There was

“We were by far the better team today, we’ll see where [Henderson Hall] are in 6 months” was awash with delays due to a number of fracases breaking out between opposing players. They were obviously all sensing the tension and importance of the game.

Within the opening 5 minutes, Hendo’s Jack Mellor and Barca’s Mark Foley were both booked for some dirty play.

However, the feisty encounter eventually settled down to allow some decent flowing football to be played with one of the first real shots on goal coming from a drive down the right wing from Barca’s Alex Hoctor.

However, it was the tangerine outfit that opened the scoring with fresher Welch on hand to slot the ball in courtesy of fatal mishandling of the ball from Wadhams. The goal failed to dent last year’s champions’ confidence though, and they retaliated immediately with a shot from left winger Rawlings only for it to be saved comfortably by Hendo goalkeeper Chris Pudner. Barca kept pressuring the Hendo defence, resulting in a free kick just outside the box after midfielder Foley was taken down by a ruthless Mellor.

The lawyers failed to score though, as the free kick was on target, but had no real power behind it, thus making for an easy save for Punder.

After a vibrant start to the second half, pressure from Barca was finally rewarded when Jamie Huworth found himself the beneficiary of a poor piece of goalkeeping. Punder’s poor clearance fell straight at the feet of Hurworth, who in turn found no difficulty in finding the back of the net.

never any doubt that he would score though as he coolly drove the ball home securing himself the man of the match award and his team the win.

The Barca team members were left demoralized after a tense meeting that could have gone either way.

Nevertheless, speaking after the game, Barca captain Ingram was refreshingly upbeat. On the subject of Hendo’s impressive early season form, he noted: “We were by far the better team today, we’ll see where they are in 6 months”.

Man of the Match: Jack Mellor

Wadhams

Allinson

Beahon

Saunders

Dalton

Ingram

Foley

Martin

Hindley

Hoctor Hurworth

McAllister

Welch

McChrystal Mulhall

Riddell

Wilson Mellor

Kaznowski

Taylor

Appleton

Pudner

League Tables

Wednesday 11-a-side Football

Division 1 1

Division 31

Division 2

Team

Pld

W

D

L

F

A

Pts

Henderson Hall F.C.

3

3

0

0

9

3

9

1

Team

Pld

W

D

L

F

A

Pts

Ecosoccer

2

2

0

0

7

2

6

1

Division 41

Team

Pld

W

D

L

F

A

Pts

Newhist FC

2

2

0

0

7

2

6

Team Team 1 1 Sub-Standard Barca Law Na Liege

Pld Pld WW

DD

LL

FF

2 12

01

02

1150 4 15 328

29

AA

Pts Pts

2

Newcastle Medics 1sts

3

2

0

1

12

4

6

2

The Hurricanes

2

2

0

0

6

2

6

2

Jesmondino FC

1

1

1

0

11

5

4

2 2 FCNewcastle Bayern Toonich Medics 1sts

1 12

18

02

02

1336 1 20 326

3

Newcastle Medics 2nds

2

1

0

1

10

3

3

3

Aftermath FC

1

1

0

0

8

4

3

3

Brown Magic FC

1

1

0

0

3

1

3

3 3 Thundercats Henderson Hall

1 12

17

01

04

9 41 0 29 322

4

Barca-Law-Na

1

0

0

1

1

2

0

4

Lokomotiv

3

1

0

2

12

13

3

4

Politic Thistle FC

1

1

0

1

6

11

3

Dyslexic Untied 4 4 The Establishment

2 12

16

01

15

7 32 6 26 019

0

5

Roman Villa FC

3

1

0

2

8

12

3

5

Newcastle Dynamos

0

0

1

1

3

5

1

1 12 1 12

05 03

00 00

17 19

2 12

01

01

5

Dyslexic Untied

1

0

0

1

1

4

6

Crayola

1

0

0

1

1

8

0

6

Boca Seniors

1

0

0

1

2

6

0

6

Multiple Scoregasms

1

0

0

2

4

6

0

Crayola FC 5 5 Geomatics Aftermath 6 (R) Crystal Phallus

7

Borussia Forsyth

1

0

0

1

0

10

0

7

Castle Leazes

2

0

0

2

1

5

0

7

Bio Neverlosen

1

0

0

1

0

4

0

CastleHappy Leazes 7 (R) Trigger

Top Goalscorers 2: Armani Zafar, Liam McAlliser (both Henderson)

1: Dave Edwards (Medic 1’s), James McChrystal, Aled Hopkins (both Henderson Hall)

Top Goalscorers 2: Adam Duckworth (Hurricanes), Rob Stacey (Ecosoccer) 1: Ben Hunter, Adam Bisby

Top Goalscorers

(both Roman Villa), Will Finelli, Tom Bond (both Ecosoccer), 2: Josh Walton (Newhist) Aaron Green (Castle Leazes) Hugh Grosvenor (Scoregasms),

1 18 5 22 015 0 14 9 47 0 9 2 10 1 12 1742 0 4

Top Goalscorers Ollie Thornton (Politic Thistle) , 1: Ben Hughes (Politic Thistle)

3: Jake Wimhurst (SubStandard Liege)

2: Sam Goldsworthy (SubStandard Liege)

Intra Mural Round-Up Results Barca-Law-Na 1-2 Henderson Hall FC Newcastle Medics 1st 3-0 Newcastle Medics 2nds

Results Ecosoccer 3-0 Castle Leazes Aftermath FC 8-4 Lokomotiv The Hurricanes 4-1 Roman Villa FC

Results Politic Thistle FC 3-9 Jesmondino FC Multiple Scoregasms 2-3 Newhist FC Brown Magic FC 3-1 Newcastle Dynamos

Results The Establishment 3-6 Sub-Standard Liege FC Bayern Toonich 13-1 Trigger Happy

The Courier

bucssport.45

Monday 29 October 2012

Newcastle University Athletes join the Elite

Online Sports Editor Freddie Caldwell spoke to some of Newcastle’s future international sports stars at the Elite Athletes Award Ceremony Newcastle’s Elite Athlete Squad for 2012/13 has been announced at an awards ceremony, in the Sports Centre.

The squad will give extra support to 24 of the University’s high performance athletes and aims to help them maximise their excellence in sport, whilst maintaining high standards in their academic program. Performance Sport Manager Fraser Kennedy described the event as “something to recognise [the athletes’] achievements to date and what they could go on to achieve”.

In his opening speech at the ceremony, Director of Sport, Colin Blackburn, stressed the importance of university performance sport, reminding those present that 68% of UK Olympians at London 2012 came through this route. Indeed Newcastle University is no stranger to successful Olympians thanks to Ed Coode, who came through through the Elite Athlete program and went on the win gold in the Men’s Coxless Four at the 2004 Athens Olympics.

Other more recent successes that have come through the squad include Matthew Tait, who currently plays rugby at Leicester Tigers and has been capped for England 38 times. Dorian Walker became a World Champion, as part of the GB Acrobatic Gymnastics Group team this April, whilst he was in his 4th year studying Mechanical Engineering.

It appears that we will not have to wait long for the next success story thanks to

aspect which is great for any elite athlete and the support you get with the physio, training and conditioning is really good when trying to perform at a high level”.

The Elite Athlete Squad is one of the factors that has helped Newcastle to perform so well nationally over the past few years; last year’s 10th place finish in the BUCS league table is evidence of this.

It certainly appears that Newcastle is outperforming expectations because of the other universities which finished in the top 10, 7 have specialist sports programs, something which Newcastle does not have. The other two are the Universities of Manchester and Nottingham, both of which are far larger institutions than Newcastle.

It may seem unusual that Newcastle does not run a sports program, however, the University’s Registrar Dr John Hogan who was present at the ceremony did acknowledge that it was a possibility in the future. Despite this, all of the athletes who The Courier spoke to at the presentation emphasised how important it was to them to be able to get an academic degree on top of being able to maximise their sporting performance.

Jonathan Burn who is part of the Newcastle Falcons rugby squad as well as studying at Newcastle, said that it is “important to keep going in education because you never know what is going to happen regarding injuries”.

“The support you get with the physio, training and conditioning is really good when trying to perform at a high level” the President of Boat Club, George Rossiter, who was awarded the Sir Robert McAlpine Sports Scholarship.

He is already part of the GB U23 Men’s Rowing squad and is hoping to make a career out of the sport. He was full of praise for the program, saying that it was effective, “because of the monetary

It is not just the possibility of future injury that encourage students to take academic degrees on top of their sporting commitments: Molly Jowsey is in her first year on the squad, and believes that the training will be “more intense than anything I’ve done before”.

She is already on the GB squad but

Several of the Elite Athletes attending the awards ceremony in the Sports Centre Photography: Freddie Caldwell

acknowledged that “it is difficult to make a living out of fencing”, and that she “wouldn’t be interested in a sports degree but it’s great to be able to do another degree alongside the sport”.

In an era where rising tuition fees has lead to increased competition between universities to attract the best students, it is crucial that Newcastle is able to offer both strong academic degrees and a strong sporting set up and the Elite Athlete Squad helps to achieve that goal with several of the athletes present at the ceremony acknowledging that it was one of the reasons which they chose

Newcastle University.

The presentation was also for those who are not necessarily part of the Elite Athlete Squad but who have been awarded a sports scholarship. The success of Newcastle University sport has lead companies such as Santander to sponsor these scholarships.

Nigel Reeves of Reeves Independent Wealth management sponsors the Reeves Independent Sports Scholarship which this year was awarded to lacrosse player Emily Cullen. Mr Reeves told The Courier how he enjoyed sponsoring Newcastle University sport and that “

being an athlete requires funding and if we can be there to provide that support then that is fantastic”.

With both the Elite Athlete Squad and the additional sports scholarships helping Newcastle’s athletes to succeed it is perhaps not surprising that the Athletic Union Officer Laura Mason, who was actually on the squad last year for fencing, is hoping for an even better finish in the BUCS league table this year, and retaining the Stan Calvert Cup. After seeing the talent on display at this event, it is hard to predict a different result.

Great Scutt! Holden’s heroes secure derby victory Mens’ Football

Newcastle 2nds Northumbria 3rds

2 1

By Nick Gabriel Sports Editor Last Wednesday Newcastle’s 2nd team earned themselves a hardfought win over Northumbria thirds, edging out their varsity rivals in a 2-1 victory on the Longbenton 3G. First half goals from Henry Scutt and Ed Holden gave the home side a twogoal lead at the interval. However a second half strike from Northumbria’s Rob Montgomery set up a grandstand finish, with the Royals just about managing to see the result through to the end.

Successive weeks of bad weather conditions meant that the fixture was Uni’s first game of the season, and added an extra spice to the game with both sides eager to lay down a marker by way of getting their season off to a flyer.

The match began as any varsity match

usually does, tackles flying in left, right and centre, with both sides visibly intent on stamping their authority on the game in a physical sense.

As a result, on a footballing level, the game began scrappily with neither side able to build any kind of momentum as a result of the continued stoppages in play.

As such genuine goal scoring chances were few and far between. Indeed an effort from Northumbria fullback Ethan O’Hagan, cutting in from the left, that cleared the 20-foot fence behind the Newcastle goal was typical of the lack of quality that plagued the game’s opening stages.

It came as a surprise therefore when the home side managed to take the lead, in truth, from absolutely nowhere. When the lethargic looking Northumbria defence failed to deal with a whipped cross into the penalty area from left-back Danny Knowles, it was winger Scutt who reacted quickest to the bouncing ball, nipping in at the back post to smash the ball home on the half-volley.

The goal injected a much-needed shot

of intensity into the home players as they began to dominate proceedings, asserting some authority on a previously lifeless encounter, as chances began to come their way.

First, forward David Colpills flashed a header narrowly wide across goal, before a slide rule pass from the lively Scutt played Will Marks through on goal, only for the advancing goalkeeper to deflect his effort narrowly over the crossbar.

However the second goal began to look increasingly inevitable, and when it did it arrive it came from an unlikely source. This time an inswinging corner from the left was met by the head of skipper Holden, who had the simple task of guiding the ball home from no more than a yard out.

The home side continued their dominance up until the half time, and only a spectacular tip over the bar from Northumbria keeper James Smith prevented Marks extending the home outfit’s lead further.

The second half began with a rejuvenated Poly, who began making an effort to take the game to their Northeast ri-

vals.

Indeed only a superb stop from Royals’ keeper Scott Rowson prevented Northumbria from cutting the deficit in half, after Poly’s Sam Beckett had been slid through on goal.

However, the home side responded to the wake up call by way of conjuring up a chance of their own. On this occasion, Marks was unfortunate to see his speculative long-range effort come back off the bar.

The Poly were never going to accept defeat without a fight and eventually got the reward that a period of sustained pressure deserved. The home defence will undoubtedly be disappointed with the manner in which the goal was conceded, as a static back four failed to deal with a seemingly innocuous ball over the top. Poly forward Montgomery reacted quickest to the hopeful punt, running onto the ball before coolly sliding it past the helpless Rowson.

The goal sparked an extremely tense finale as the Royals dropped continually deeper in an effort to preserve their narrow advantage. However, it was only a superb stop from home keeper Rowson

that denied Poly a share of the spoils, after the ball dropped at the feet of Montgomery following another hoisted ball into the box. Nevertheless, the Royals just about managed to hold out and earn themselves a huge three points to begin the season; the result should undoubtedly give them plenty of confidence to take into their BUCS campaign.

Man of the match: Henry Scutt

The Mens 2nds currently lie third in the BUCS Northern 4B League, four places above their counterparts the Newcastle 3rds who lie rooted to the bottom of the table. Having shipped twelve goals in their opening two games, the 3rds will be looking forward to the clash of the Toon in a fortnights time when the two Newcastle teams meet. Ironically teammates could define whether one gets promoted, or the other escapes relegation.

46.sportbucs

Monday 29 October 2012

The Courier

Olympic Champions pip NUBC at line Boat Club

By Sally Hickey at Eton Dorney After hosting a fortnight of Olympic races this summer, it is safe to say that Dorney lake has seen its fair share of emotions. However, the Olympics were northing compared to the sheer force of talent, both in and out of the boats, that crawled out of the woodwork, blearyeyed, to race each-other at the first big event of the season. This was the Diamond Jubilee Regatta, designed as a celebration of Britain’s success at London 2012, and attended by many of the oarsmen and women who competed here against the world not so long ago.

After an incredibly successful year for NUBC, 8 crews were sent down south for a unique opportunity to test out the competition very early in the season.

The weekend of racing was also being closely watched by GB’s coaches and selectors.

This regatta was also one-of-a-kind in the way that the racing took place.

In previous regattas, one’s races would only include those crews racing for the same pennant. For the Diamond Jubilee Regatta, all crews racing the same type of boat were raced against each-other, regardless of age or weight. This meant that many of the crews racing for New-

castle found themselves racing crews containing Olympic Gold medallists, and even if they did not win the final, a crew could be the fastest in their category and win a pennant.

Saturday began with a processional time trial, where all the crews set off a few seconds apart and then placed into a semi final according to their finish time. Newcastle’s top openweight boats of the day, the men’s and women’s 4, both came third in their semi-finals and secured a place in the final. The doubles were next, all performing well in very competitive categories with the LWU23 2x (Gemma Hall and Rosie Rust), U19 2x (Ed Munno and James Rudkin) and LMU23 2x (Nick Buckle and George Patrick) qualifying for the D, F and G finals respectively.

After a quick tea break, the finals started and there was a steady stream of medals for Newcastle, with two bronzes in the U19 2x and LMU23 2x.

The LWU23 2x dominated the field and were the fastest University crew in their category winning gold. The last races of the day were the big ones, the openweight IVs. All eyes were on the women for the A final of the IVs (Nicole Lamb, Georgia Parry, Philippa Neill and Harriet Broad), who put in an outstanding race to come 4th and win the U23 pennant. Next up were the boys in blue, the big names in the boat being Sam Arnot, Tom Ford, Tim Clarke and James Reeder, who outclassed the field to come 5th

The Mens VIII in action at Eton Dorney.

Photography: NUBC in the A final and win the U23 pennant also.

With happy coaches and an even happier squad, the sound of Queen’s ‘We Are The Champions’ could be heard blaring from the crowded cars as they sprinted off home to consume another 500g of pasta bake in preparation for the next day’s racing.

Sunday was the day of reckoning, with the two top boats in the squad (the men’s and women’s VIII) setting out to dominate a field filled with Olym-

pic gold, silver and bronze medallists.

The men’s VIII qualified for the B final, coming in 6th place, and 2nd in their category. The women’s VIII qualified for the A final and came 4th, and also 2nd in their category.

There were two other boats entered, the openweight quad and lightweight quad, both filled with freshers eager to put themselves on the map. After cruising through their time-trials and semi-finals, the openweights came 4th in final C, and 6th in their category, and

the lightweights came 2nd in the E final, and 9th in their category.

As the racing came to a close, the sun began to set on what was a mixed weekend for NUBC. With many promising results, it is clear that both our squads are better than ever before, however there is still much room for improvement. We now start our long and gruelling winter training programme, and resign ourselves to many weeks of snoozing alarms and slumbering through lectures.

Toon edge Leeds in thriller

BUCS round-up

Newcastle 1sts Leeds 1sts

Last weekend, four of Newcastle’s top skiers ventured out to Silksworth artificial slope in Sunderland for the North East Open Championships. This was a three run slalom race, open to all of the ski clubs across the region and there were around 50 skiers entered, including those from school teams right the way up to national squad skiers.

Under clear blue skies (something of a novelty for Sunderland!), Jonathan Powell was the first Newcastle racer on the slope and threw the gauntlet down to the rest of the field with a fast run, closely followed by Chris Penrose and Elite Athlete Olivia Parker. Will Cave, racing in what he admitted was not his favourite discipline, was unfortunate to crash out on his first run. Nonetheless, he fought his way down the course on the second and third runs to take third place in the U21 category. Chris and Olivia both got faster and faster with every run: Chris picking up 3rd in the senior category and 7th overall, and Olivia winning the females’ race (and taking 8th in the overall classification).

However, it was Jonathan who set the fastest time of the day on the last run, to win the Championships outright by just over half a second.

Emily Dookun

Netball

36 24

By Christy Clemence at Newcastle Sports Centre After an unsuccessful match the previous week, Newcastle Netball Women’s First Team had something to prove.

Their opposition, Leeds attacked early on but Newcastle refused to be put on the back foot and dominated the early proceedings to gain a strong 11-8 lead by the end of the first quarter.

When play resumed, Leeds responded well to the Newcastle pressure and set an impressive pace, passing the ball with speed and accuracy and regaining some momentum to narrow the gap.

However the home team kept their cool, and showing the form that last year saw them promoted into the Premier League, dominated possession and kept the pressure firmly on their opponents.

This often forced Leeds to resort to long, hopeful throws that Goal Defence Mia Archer, who had an incredible game, was able to intercept with admirable frequency.

Despite Newcastle’s resilience, Leeds managed to close the gap to a mere point for a long stretch of the game, but close marking and crucial interceptions saw Newcastle’s lead extended once again, to 17-13. This four point advantage was carried safely to the half time whistle, with both teams continuing their impressively accurate shooting form, and taking the score to 18-14.

The third quarter saw particularly remarkable individual performances, with Leeds’ Wing Attack proving a difficult player to contain, despite being one of the smallest players on the court.

She moved deftly into spaces and passed the ball low and quickly to her teammates. However, Newcastle’s Centre seemed never to tire and both Goal

Attack and Goal Shooter for the home side were near perfect, and worked together seamlessly to ensure that their opponents did not challenge the lead.

These efforts led the score to 28-23 at the close of the penultimate quarter.

The fast pace of the game took its toll on both sides towards the close, and after Leeds’ Goal Attack went over on her knee, causing a break in play, Newcastle took control of the match. Their superior stamina and domination of the rebounds at both ends allowed them to control the final quarter and score many important points.

Meanwhile, the near impenetrable defence barely conceded with Archer foiling many a Leeds attack through

her ability to read and intercept passes.

Newcastle were able to glide gracefully to victory by 36 points to 24, largely thanks to inspired shooting by Player of the Match, Emily Whiteside.

On this occasion, the match was closely contested, and netball fan Michael Watson noted “Leeds played to their strengths well. They were a slightly shorter team than Newcastle but were great at finding space and bounce passing to keep the ball low. Newcastle did a great job of controlling them and dominating possession.” This was a promising performance by the newly promoted side who are finding their feet quickly in their new league with new teammates.

Ski Club

Womens’ Rugby Union

Crossing the border into Scotland, NWR took on Edinburgh in their Premiership debut. After their unbeaten season last year the pressure was on to prove that they still had what it takes.

Captain Holly Malins lead out her team on to the 3G pitch, a new surface for the squad, and lined up for the kick off.

The unfamiliar surface appeared to faze NWR as they found themselves in their own twenty-two for the first twenty minutes of the game, even having to hold up two tries in an attempt to break the seemingly solid Edinburgh side.

However, with their determination and strong defensive power NWR found their chance. An opportunity arose with Malins taking a blind ball from a scrum

allowing her to set up number ten, Rosie Neal to score just in time for the half time whistle.

Clearly determined to even the score Edinburgh came back fighting, strong and determined. Forcing NWR to set up camp in their own half. When it looked like a try could not be delayed any longer a solid pack kept working to drive the ball away from the try line. D e s p i t e continuously winning scrums and rucking hard no more tries were to be had for either team. This winning result sent out the message to all of the teams in the premiership that Newcastle University Women’s Rugby team not only deserve to be here but are here to stay.

Rachel O’Neill

Mens’ Rugby League

NURL maintained their unbeaten ways with a convincing win over the sizable scouse outfit that were Edge Hill University. The game was scrappy and neither side delivered the free flowing NURL-esque style rugby the supporters are used to seeing but this didn’t stop a humble Myles Hudson going over the whitewash early on to continue his impressive scoring run.

100s of dropped balls later, the fearsome NURL pack gave happy go lucky halfback Griffiths a good platform to put a bomb that reached the heights Felix Baumgartner just weeks previous. A scrawny Edge Hill winger quaked and shivered at the sight of it. Masculine man Matty Jones pounced on the inevitably dropped ball and bundled his way over. But the biggest moment of the day came when baby faced birthday boy Jack ‘not so’ English ran twenty metres through numerous inferior Edge Hill defenders.

The game ended on a sour note however when an Edge Hill player was hit awkwardly in a tackle and injuring his back. The ambulance was called and the game was ended early with the score 28-6 being agreed. The Owls wish him a speedy recovery and hope to see him in the return fixture at Liverpool.

Chris Griffiths

The Courier

bucssport.47

Monday 29 October 2012

Unlucky Inderwick robbed of surf finals chance Surf Club

By Sean Hooker in Newquay Last weekend, rain, Sinners, Mistletoe Bakery and the freezing North Sea was traded for sun, cider, Cornish Pasties and the slightly less freezing Atlantic Ocean. Newcastle University Surf Club made the 1000-mile 22-hour round trip to Newquay for the annual BUCS Barefoot Wine Surf Championships. The 3-day event is Europe’s largest surfing competition, and sees over 1000 students attending. The presence of Aberdeen and Dundee universities somewhat dampened our attempts at playing the ‘we’ve travelled from the other end of the country’ card but a contingent of 48 made us the 2nd largest university and our strongest ever team ensured high hopes of a successful weekend.

Day 1 produced 3-4ft waves at the legendary Fistral Beach as three hundred and forty four surfers took to the water in heats of five with the top two from each advancing to Round 2.

The men’s competition began with disappointment as James Hindle, Billy Hamshaw and Luke ChipperfieldOuting finished just outside qualification. Luck reversed as Jack Stelling, Alex Hindle and Evan Rogers won their heats with ease. Shortly after, veteran BUCS surfer Robin O’Connell progressed to Round 2 for the 1st time after 4 attempts.

The women’s competition saw similar success with Pippa Inderwick, Raphaelle Freeston and El Nash-Taylor qualifying. However, there was disappointment for Rachel Mannings and Emily Walton who were unable to advance.

A beautiful evening in Newquay where NUSC came 4th, their best performance ever.

Photography: Sean Hooker

Our remaining competitors all progressed in the afternoon except NashTaylor..

Day 2 produced similar conditions in the water and equally t-shirt-and-shorts weather for those of us lacking sufficient ability/too hungover/too lazy (delete as appropriate) to compete.

Unfortunately, Rogers, Stelling and O’Connell were knocked out. Rogers, who has reached the semis in previous years was particularly disappointed, especially after winning the longboard event at his local Saltburn Autumn Open in September. “I did pretty badly

this year – I just never got any waves that allowed me to do many manoeuvres and the other guys in the heat caught all the good ones”. Freeston also went out in the womens.

By late afternoon, a dark cloud was ominously loitering in the sky above and Newcastle was down to just one competitor. Undeterred by the presence of UK Women’s Pro Tour surfer Holly Donnelly in her heat, Pippa Inderwick had a storming surf. A combination of sweet bottom turns and a stylish left saw her advance to the semis and become Newcastle’s most successful female

surfer ever.

Overnight, the swell picked up and Day 3 produced 8ft pumping waves.

Contest organisers described the women’s event as “the one to watch with any one of eight surfers in with a credible chance of securing gold”. But as Pippa made her way to the competitor’s area, an apocalypse was dropped – the organisers had rearranged the heats meaning she’d missed hers and was out of competition. “It was really annoying to miss the semifinal but seeing the massive 8ft waves come through it was maybe for the best! We’ll just have to go back and

win it next year” she said.

The women’s competition was eventually won by Falmouth’s Holly Donnelly.

In the men’s, Bournemouth’s Billabongsponsored Gordon Fontaine cemented his legendary status by securing his 4th consecutive title.

Contest Director Ester Spears praised in particular the women’s competition stating “the quality of the women’s surfing has been steadily improving but this year there was a steep change and all the girls ripped”.

Despite the disappointing end, Newcastle put in a fantastic performance and finished 4th in both the men’s and women’s team competition; our best performance ever. The poly did not even show up.

The BUCS weekend is an undoubted highlight each year. We non-competitors spent the weekend chilling at Fistral Beach, catching some surf, eating too much fish & chips and watching Blood Diamond many times, bru.

Bodyboarding also made its 1st appearance alongside the club. After years of ridicule, Treasurer Sean Hooker and Finding-Nemo-bodyboard enthusiast Jack Darbyshire persuaded Vice-President Tim Little to take the more horizontal approach in the water - “It was so much fun!” Tim exclaimed. 3rd-year Richard Anderson described the weekend as “we went to Newquay and surfed – it was great and we did well in competition”.

Many definitely considered sacking off the return journey and remaining in Newquay. We face months of baltic temperatures at Tynemouth until the next Cornwall trip in February and the epic trip abroad at Easter. Hawaii anyone?

Beckett bags hat-trick as Newcastle upset the odds Continued from back page Leeds once again put together the phases, getting deeper and deeper into Newcastle territory. After a good five minutes of battering the Royals’ line, with the Newcastle pack cleverly slowing down play, the turnover was finally forced and the home side clear. The difference at this level frequently comes down to which side takes their chances and Leeds were the polar opposite to the clinical Newcastle 1sts.

This was outlined in emphatic style minutes later, when in a move spanning the whole pitch, the outstanding Burnie crossed to put Newcastle out of sight.

After a mammoth kick from Leeds’ replacement stand off Jack Gaff, Newcastle full back Patterson spilled the ball behind his own line. After several shimmies he zig zagged his way to the 22, and the ball was worked to an overlap down the blindside by Neville and the prolific

Beckett. The winger, made it to the away sides’ 22 before passing to replacement fly-half Lewis Crosbie. Crosbie finding Burnie on his shoulder metres from the line, slipped it to the back rower to cross the white wash. Crosbie emphatically added the extras.

Newcastle’s defense was so strong, it looked as if the only way Leeds would avoid a whitewash was if Newcastle went down to fourteen, and so it proved.

After a Leeds maul was tugged down five metres out, Newcastle lock Fraser Wrem saw yellow. Following the unbalanced scrum, replacement Leeds half back Tom Oliver threw a quick dummy and Leeds finally had their first points on the board. Gaff missed the extras.

The drama had not quite finished there. In the 72nd minute, after yet another Newcastle Gary Owen, Royals’ centre Henry King mistimed his tackle and caught full back Lozowski mid

leap. With the Leeds support, who had already begun swigging Frosty Jacks, calling for a red card to be brandished, a fight broke out, leading to the referee sin binning both King and Lozowski, leaving the Royals with only thirteen left on the pitch.

There was still time in the last minute for Newcastle to put the proverbial icing on the cake. Attacking the Leeds line, after having secured the bonus point, great hands from captain Neville lead to Beckett stepping his man and gliding through under the post to complete his hat-trick. Crosbie brought the Toon’s total up to thirty six with the conversion making it a truly emphatic win for the Royals.

Newcastle (Tries - Burn, Beckett x3, Burnie; Pen - Burn; Cons - Burn x2, Crosbie x2) Leeds (Try - Oliver) Man of the Match: Joe Beckett

Penalties conceded

Lineouts

Scrums

6

Lost

5

Lost

6

Lost

Lozowski

Twomey Brown

11

Newcastle

6

Phillips

Margetson

6 Won

Newcastle

Won

Leeds

7 Won

Newcastle

Gardner

Lawrence

Proctor

Wrem

Kitching

Gue Burnie

Alston Banks

Lost

14

Timpany

Wheeler

Banton

1

Munro

Van Den Driess

Hawley

1

Leeds

McKenzie Magie

Lost

Haddad

Bell

14

Burn

Won

King Beckett

Leeds

Neville Perkins

Patterson

Sport

www.thecourieronline.co.uk Monday 29 October 2012 Issue 1256 Free

thecourieronline.co.uk/sport

Sports Editors: Ralph Blackburn, Nick Gabriel and Lucy Williams Online Sports Editors: Freddie Caldwell and Jack Gelsthorpe courier.sport@ncl.ac.uk | @Courier_Sport

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Photography: Getty Images

Photograph: Ralph Blackburn

Ruthless Royals run riot over languid Leeds Mens Rugby Union

Newcastle 1sts Leeds 1sts

36 5

By Ralph Blackburn Sports Editor A hat-trick for Joe Beckett capped a wonderfully clinical performance by Newcastle, as they put Leeds to the sword at Heaton Sports Ground. Despite receiving two yellow cards in the second half, the Royals scored undoubtedly one of the tries of the season, running from their own line to put the impressive openside George Burnie across the whitewash.

On a wet and blustery day, it was Newcastle who made all the right decisions constantly keeping Leeds on the back foot, with clever kicks from the halfbacks. Despite having the majority of the possession and territory, Leeds constantly fumbled the final pass or offload, with the Royals pack imperious throughout.

This was a strong statement of intent

from the Royals, who finished three places and eleven points behind the Yorkshire University in the division last year. In their last encounter, on the same ground in February, Leeds picked Newcastle apart, winning 31-25. That scoreline would have been more, had it not been for two late tries by Johnny Neville, and the improvement in the Royals’ now cast-iron defense is particularly impressive.

The first five minutes showed the impact the weather would have on the game. Multiple fumbles by both sets of backs made it clear this match would be fought and won in the forwards, with Leeds tighthead Lawrence’s head already caked in mud.

Newcastle asserted early dominance against a favoured Leeds pack when openside Burnie turned over green ball in the second minute. Minutes later the Royals’ locks stole a Leeds line out, and, with a sign of things to come Beckett broke the gain line only for the wet conditions to cause a fumble. Some astute kicking by Jonny Burn at fly-half brought reward in the ninth minute, when the Leeds scrum collapsed under pressure and Burn got the Newcastle

scoreboard going with a penalty.

This was the most the Royals saw the ball in the first quarter, being firmly under pressure for the next ten minutes.

Good interplay from the Leeds backs saw fullback Alex Lozowski break the gain line only for the ball to be knocked on after the pass. Further inroads were made by Leeds’ thickset outside centre Ned Brown, with some excellent lines of running; however, more careless handling errors let the Yorkshire outfit down close to the line.

Newcastle began to wilt under pressure, giving away several needless penalties, with hands in the ruck, as Leeds barraged down their right hand side.

Newcastle tighthead Ali Banton was lucky to escape a yellow card for repeated infringements as Leeds opted against kicking at goal and continued to go through the phases with the forwards.

This proved to be costly as an obdurate Toon defense held them five metres short, and after finally choosing to take the three points, Lozowski missed the sticks.

In the wake of Leeds’ profligacy, Newcastle only needed one chance to further extend their lead. Scrum-half Rory Bell

began to orchestrate proceedings from behind the pack, and it was his spiraling box kick along with the consistent drizzle which led to the Leeds full back dropping the ball.

The pack secured possession, with a snipe from Bell taking the Royals five metres short. Quick ball gave the Newcaslte Falcons fly-half, Jonny Burn, an easy opportunity to throw the dummy, and cross the whitewash. Burn added the extras to give Newcastle a 10-0 lead in the 22nd minute.

Newcastle began to take control of the game, with the flowing Newcastle backs starting to get their hands on the ball. Excellent hands from full back Patterson and Club Captain and outside centre Johnny Neville put Burn through to the 22. Leeds’ hands in the ruck gave Burn a chance to extend the Royals’ lead, however he narrowly put the kick to the left of the uprights.

Intuitive kicking from the Newcastle halfbacks gave the Royals their second try on the half hour mark. Leeds made a hash of dealing with a line out in their own 22, with the excellent Bell securing the turnover. Burn moved the ball quickly from right to left, and with the

defense scrambling, left wing Beckett swayed like Israel Dagg and touched the ball down expertly in the corner. Burn missed the kick, way out on the touch line.

Leeds worked desperately to get back in the game, however fumbles and forward passes with numbers out wide cost them dearly. The home side went into the half time break 15-0 up, despite having spent large parts camped in their own half.

The Royals looked to repeat the tactics employed in the first half, try to pin the Yorkshire side back in their half with kicks, and move the ball through the backs when spaces opened up.

This worked to perfection just two minutes after the restart, when a long kick from fly-half Burn led to the Leeds left wing Simon Haddad spilling the ball. The clinical Royals pounced, with flanker Burnie on hand to pinch to scraps and flicking it to Neville, who moved the ball on to speedster Beckett, who went over for his second try of the match. Fly-half Burn added the extras, to take his points total for the match to twelve.

Continued overleaf