The Courier 1241 by The Courier Online

Union Elections results Who got your vote?

News, page 3

C OURIER THE

thecourieronline.co.uk · Issue 1241 Monday December 5 2011

The Independent Voice Of Newcastle Students

Est 1948

Lecturers descend on Tyneside to save pensions page 5 Girl dies on campus in tower fall George Sandeman News Editor

Protestors march against pension reforms proposed by the Government. Representation was present from the TUC, Unison, Unite and the academic lecturers union the UCU. Photography: Sam Tyson

A woman has died after falling from the Claremont Bridge Building on Friday December 2. The Emergency Services received a report of the incident at 12.32pm and responded with police, ambulance and �ire services as well as a doctor. It is believed the woman did not die instantly but was later declared dead at the scene. The area between the Devonshire Building and the Claremont Bridge Building, which adjoins Claremont Tower, was cordoned off by Police. A screen was later erected whilst emergency services continued their investigation. The Courier can also disclose an eye-witness account of a student who happened upon the scene moments after the woman fell. Cycling past the Devonshire Building he and a friend encountered “a girl on the �loor with two University staff around her, one checking her pulse. The other stood up [speaking] on the phone. The member of staff on the phone said: ‘We need someone here quickly, her pulse is fading fast.’” In response to the incident Newcastle University released a statement saying: ‘We are working with the police to establish the facts in this tragic incident. We will be offering counselling for any student or member of staff affected.’ The next of kin are being informed whilst the results of a post-mortem examination are being established.

Students pay Uni £32,000 damages

• 2010/11 freshers in halls pay thousands • £280,900 collected since 2003 George Sandeman News Editor

In a span of nine months Newcastle University’s Accommodation Service charged students over £32,000 in damage costs. After a Freedom of Information re-

quest The Courier revealed that in the academic year 2010/2011 students living in University halls were charged on 1068 separate occasions. The Courier can also disclose that since the academic year 2003/2004 (inclusive) the Accommodation Service has charged students for damage to halls on 7180 separate occasions

amounting to a total cost of over £280,900. In particular, the 928 residents of Richardson Road were charged, in 2010/11, for over 830 incidents of damage, a record high since 2003, the beginning of the records we attained. For those �irst years these charges amounted to over £20,000.

Residents of Richardson Road have historically accounted for nearly two thirds of the total value of damage costs in any given year since 2003. In contrast, those living across the cow �ield in Castle Leazes were charged a total of £313.67 for three incidents in 2010/11. Additional �igures obtained by The

Courier show that in the academic year 2010/2011 over £6000 worth of carpets have been either patched, replaced or repaired in Richardson Road. Carpets are patched, rather than replaced, only when the damaged carpet had been patched previously. Continued on page 4

News

THE COURIER Monday December 5 2011

News Editors Wills Robinson and George Sandeman Online News Editor Helen Lam courier.news@ncl.ac.uk

thecourieronline.co.uk/news

Into the wild: surviving on 6 berries, books and Radio 4

Contents News

All made up

Record number of students start working for cosmetics giant Avon

Bounced out

York Uni cricket club condemned for making light of Gary Speed’s death

Comment

I, prison warden

Will we soon see robots looking after the elderly and checking inmates?

Question Dave

What six students would ask the PM if they had the chance

Sport

Not for girls?

Intra Mural

Taking a look at this year’s nominees for Sports Personality of the Year A round-up of the latest results including football and rugby

Johnny Farrar-Bell When tied down by work and irritated by the essentials of modern life it can be easy to think that back in the day people had so much less to worry about. In the Stone Age there were no bills to pay, no exams to take and de�initely no hassle of de-tagging yourself from awkward Facebook photos. One could contemplate leaving it all to lead a simple life of living off the land. Last year these exact thoughts were going through the mind of Newcastle University graduate Nick Weston after losing his job in London. But instead of knuckling down and continuing with the rat race, he decided upon a six month experiment in self suf�iciency by living in a tree house in the wilds of Sussex. Weston, who has a degree in Archaeology, had previous experience in the world of survival, having been the survival expert on the 2007 series of Shipwrecked. But in his own words: “After 3 months on my own desert island, I decided it was time to make a change in my life”. He quit his design job in London and with only £500 managed to construct a liveable tree house complete with a stove, bed and a bookshelf - realising his childhood dream. It was at Newcastle where he developed much of his abilities to live off the land, with regular trips into the Northumberland countryside to shoot rabbit and �ish for trout. “Food for free became commonplace in 17 Queens Terrace – Trout and salmon were regular features on the menu,” Weston told The Courier. However, living on your own in a tree house for six months with no food except for that which you can �ind, kill or grow was no mean feat. Not being able to split the workload was one of the hardest parts of the experience, said Weston. Books and Radio 4 could sometimes be the extent of his company for a week. But the joys of escaping the city and leaving the anxieties and stresses of modern life behind more than made up for the occasional loneliness and lack of food. With only a primitive stove made out of recycled cans to cook with, Weston was forced to be ingenious in what he ate. He also became an expert in home brewing with nettle

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Former Archaeology student Nick Weston spent six months living self-sustainably in a custom built treehouse Photography: Nick Weston

beer, marrow rum and meadowsweet champagne being a few of his specialities. And for �ishing he constructed a wooden coracle (a small lightweight boat) to stalk the waters of a nearby lake. Whilst his experience in the forest hasn’t completely shifted his view on life and there were no ‘�inding yourself’ epiphanies, (“if you haven’t done that by the age of twenty – you’re lost!” says Weston) but it did make

him more appreciative of the basic things we take for granted such as electricity and running water. It has also empowered him to “cut back on the pointless crap” which he doesn’t really need. Post tree house life has brought many changes for the former Newcastle Student. He has a book, ‘The Tree House Diaries’, published, and set up the ‘Hunter, Gatherer, Cook’ cooking school in

Editor Kat Bannon Deputy Editor Elliot Bentley News Editors Wills Robinson and George Sandeman Online News Editor Helen Lam Politics Correspondent Bethany Staunton Comment Editors Sophie McCoid and Susie May Beever Online Comment Editor Jack Torrance C2 Editor: Aimee Philipson Lifestyle Editors Olivia Mason and Ben Parkin Online Lifestyle Editor Emma Balter Fashion Editor Victoria Mole Online Fashion Editor Rosanna Sopp Arts Editors Sally Priddle Online Arts Editor Lisa Bernhardt Film Editor Chris Binding Online Film Editor Hayley Hamilton Music Editors Ben Travis, Chris Scott Online Music Editor Graham Matthews Science Editor Mark Atwill Online Science Editor Shaun Butcher TV Editors Sophia Fairhead and Nicole Stevenson Sports Editors Colin Henrys, Harry Slavin and Rory Brigstock-Baron Online Sports Editors Grace Harvey and Charlie Scott Design Editors Gabe Mason and Tom O’Boyle Copy Editors Alice Sewell, Adam Rummens, Rachael Day, Charley Monteith, Dave Dodds, Sarah Collings, Marleen van Os, Emily Wheeler, Rebecca Markham, Grace Marconi

Sussex - enabling him to make what was initially a hobby become his way of life. Anyone could do it, says Weston, as long as you don’t mind “limited sanitation, squirrel and rabbit on the menu and you’re not particularly bothered about insects”, he laughs. “My only concern is that if we all got the bug Jesmond Dene could become very crowded!”

The Courier is printed by: Harmsworth Printing Limited, Northcliffe House, Meadow Road, Derby, DE1 2DW. Tel: 01332 253013. Established in 1948, The Courier is the fully independent student newspaper of the Students’ Union at Newcastle University. The Courier is published weekly during term time, and is free of charge. The design, text, photographs and graphics are copyright of The Courier and its individual contributors. No parts of this newspaper may be reproduced without the prior permission of the Editor. Any views expressed in this newspaper’s opinion pieces are those of the individual writing, and not of The Courier, the Students’ Union or Newcastle University.

THE COURIER Monday December 5 2011

news

Under Fresher over the moon Kat Bannon Editor Following a fiercely competitive campaign week it was Under Fresher that came out on top for the hard-fought role of Freshers’ Week Organisers 2012 in last week’s Union Elections. The team, compiled of Ivan Nicholls, Harry Ramshaw, Megan White and Chris Pugh, received 749 votes, narrowly edging ahead of the 714 votes received by contenders The F-Team in what was the closest bid for Freshers’ Week Organisers in the past three years. In the only other contested Part Time Officer role Sofia Palios was named Parents and Carers Officer. Meanwhile, the uncontested positions of Chair of Union Council and Campaigns Officer went to Gabe Mason and Emily Clarke respectively, both of whom were absent from the announcement of results. Receiving 176 votes to KayleighLousie Wilkinson’s 100, Sofia Palios expressed her joy at having been given the opportunity to make a real difference for parents and carers here at Newcastle: “Thank you for voting. I look forward to promoting awareness about student parents and carers and to also create a society which will organise fun days out to take a well deserved break from our responsibilities” Under Fresher were quite evidently delighted with their result, telling The Courier: “Absolutely fantastic,” said Nicholls, “you just can’t put these feeling into words. We are absolutely ecstatic!” Meanwhile White expressed her extreme gratitude to all those without whose support they would not have secured the role: “We’re so grateful to everyone that’s voted - we couldn’t have done it without our campaigns team, everyone that turned up and was out there every day.” With a manifesto that promised a ‘Music Freshtival LIVE at Radio Arena [...] capacity for ALL!’ when asked what was in store for Freshers’ Week 2012 their aim was made clear: “It’s going to be awesome” said Ramshaw “It’s going to be off the chain,” finished Nicholls. Overall, over 2000 votes were cast, proving another successful turnout for the Union Elections.

Under Fresher and their campaign team were delighted with the result. (above and below right) Sofia Palios addresses the crowd (below left). Photography: Elliot Bentley

NUS launch ‘I am the change’ Central Station to campaign to improve uni be given funding

Miranda Dobson

New NUS online campaign ‘I Am The Change’ has been launched to give students a voice in the issues in their universities and colleges. The site lets students upload suggestions for change in a vast range of areas from the environment and health, to careers and education. Once ‘Changes’ are uploaded others can then vote for the issues they believe are the most important and the change with the most votes before 21st February next year will be backed by NUS. The website is headed by an anima-

tion promoting the importance of student driven change. NUS are encouraging students and giving an outlet for small personal issues, such as housing, as well as much wider problems that run across many institutions, like universities prioritising students over corporate business. ‘I Am Change’ emphasises that students can make a difference with their suggestions and promotes making changes at the grassroots to make a stand. NUS president Liam Burns said of the new scheme that, “change doesn’t have to be intimidating or daunting.” He went on to say: “Even our smallest choices make a difference, and

some of them can end up having a bigger effect than we could possibly have imagined.” The animation fronting the campaign uses iconic examples of individuals making a change. The Tank Man of Tiananmen Square blocking Chinese tanks in 1989, and activist Rosa Parks refusing to give up her seat in the racially segregated section of the bus in 1950’s America, are used to promote the power an individual can have to make a change. 181 proposed changes have been uploaded to the website so far to fight for NUS training and funding for their proposed campaigns.

Luke Hearfield

The iconic Newcastle Central Station, the first place where many students first step foot in Newcastle, has received funding from Network Rail to help modernise the station. Opened in 1850, the Grade I listed building receives thousands of passers and goers every day. Around 8.6 million pounds has been invested in order to give the hub of Newcastle’s transport system a twenty first century makeover. This is in hopes to improve the overall service and facilities for some of the 7.5 million users of the station.

Network Rail, in partnership with NE1 and Newcastle City Council, want to help create a welcoming atmosphere for the region’s capital. The money invested will be divided among different areas of the station. The interior entrance will be revamped with more shops, a more aesthetically pleasing waiting area and alterations to the existing bridge will be made. Access will also be improved as they plan to install lifts and escalators to navigate the metro station and several platforms. Glazed canopies will be fitted to fill the station with natural light.

THE COURIER Monday December 5 2011

news

Since 2003: • 7180 charges • £280,900 collected Key:

Total value of charges (10-11):

£32,001

Richardson Road: £20,391 Marris House: £5,524 St. Mary’s: £1,130

Easton Flats: £276

Castle Leazes: £313

Henderson Hall: £1,308 Leazes Terrace: £549

Bowsden Court: £1,459 Windsor Terrace: £290 Graphics: Tom O’Boyle

North Terrace: £755

Total number of charges (07-11):

3251

THE COURIER Monday December 5 2011

news 43

e: 2 ous

ri Mar

Richardson Road:

2568

St.

Items frequently charged for in 2010/11: Carpets

’s: Mary

158 ce: 109

rra Leazes Te

Bowsden Court: 62

Henderson Ha

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The res

North T t: 65 errace: 27 Easton Flats: 2 0 Windso r Terra ce: Castle L eazes: 8 10

£6000 Easy Chairs

£3990

Ricky residents fork out most Continued from front page Prior to this practice the Accommodation Service operated a policy whereby a carpet was only replaced when it was burnt �ive times or more by that year’s tenants. However, given the cumulative effect of numerous burns on a given carpet over several years, this policy was changed. In force at the moment is a policy where a carpet is replaced once a single burn is found upon inspection. A 10% discount is given on this cost due to fair wear and tear. University halls’ cleaners can also refuse to clean a �lat if it is deemed to dirty and untidy for them to spend a reasonable amount of time doing so. The Accommodation Service operates a ‘three strikes’ policy where a �ine is given after the �irst occurrence, a meeting after the second and then after the third they use contract cleaners for which the tenants are charged.

Dining Chairs

Ralph Blackburn Commentary

The Courier can reveal that during 2010/11 this amounted to £820 with all cleaned �lats in Richardson Road. During the same period over £560 was charged for either replacing or repairing dining tables in Richardson Road and over £705 for either replacing or repairing dining chairs. Over £3990 was charged for replacing or reupholstering common room chairs, also known as ‘easy chairs’ in Richardson Road. The Courier also attained data that broke down damage costs by halls between 2007/08 and 2010/11. During that period 3251 separate charges were made with 2568 in the soon to be demolished Richardson Road. 243 incidents in Marris House, 158 in St.Marys, 109 in Leazes Terrace and 62 in Bowsden Court. In the also soon to be demolished Henderson Hall there were 46 incidents, 27 in North Terrace, 20 in Easton Flats, 10 in Windsor Terrace and eight in Castle Leazes.

Accommodation can de�ine your �irst year at university. Flatmates you get along with, the distance from campus and a friendly block helps, but key to the whole experience is how the accommodation service treats you. Inconsistency is a likely occurrence. Previously The Courier reported that Richardson Road staff had asked students to �ilm their �latmate smoking in order to provide evidence that they should not to be �ined. However, fourth �loor �lats were known to have been allowed to smoke inside by the Accommodation Service such was the walk downstairs. On other occasions students were regularly escorted to the poorly signposted smoking areas. There also appeared inconsistencies with what was branded a �ire risk in the corridors. In accommodation blocks, such as Windsor Terrace or Marris House, the stairwell area is easily large enough to store several bicycles. Warnings and �ines were deemed slightly over the top, especially when the Accommodation Service did not take issue with a broken boiler they left there for over a month.

Some were Newcastle University lecturers and staff, part of the University and College Union (UCU), who had earlier formed a picket line on campus. Approximately 30 picketers were present between 7.00am and 11.00am before joining the main march on the Quayside at midday with members of the unions Unite, Unison and the

Trades Union Congress. Speaking at the picket line Robert Hollands, Head of Sociology at Newcastle University, said: “I’m one of the chosen few whose pension isn’t going to be affected by these changes so you’d think I wouldn’t be here today, but I don’t think we should let the government get away with their divide and rule strategy. This is about

Approximately a month was also the amount of time the water in the �lat ran cold. Fire drills were successful and pedantic �ines continued despite bikes being stolen from University bike racks. This is an excellent example of the services’ inconsistencies. They immediately caught the thieves and responded to the students’ concerns forthright. Still however denying the students space in the hallways to lock up their

Bikes piling up in the hall has to be one of the beautiful sights of renting your own house bikes. When responding to technical issues inside �lats, boilers apart, the Accommodation Service tend to be on top of things. Halls’ ovens are notoriously dodgy, however as soon as a complaint went in, a replacement mini oven soon appeared in the offending kitchen. The service was also fairly accommodating regarding loud music and

£705 Dining Tables

£560 typical student parties. On one Halloween a particularly busy party was not just shut down without negotiation. With sensible discussions, an acceptable music volume was reached and the party was allowed to continue. The Accommodation Service did however prove to be far less humorous when it came to some students creative uses of the snow. A particularly phallic snowman was dismissed as being completely unacceptable. Offense of local residents cited as the rather prudent reason. Personally, as a resident, thunderous dubstep would be far more likely to offend me than a fairly childish joke. The inconsistencies of the Accommodation Service are clear, showing the human element to their job. Whilst for some, the power may go to their head, the vast majority are merely trying to ensure your �irst year at University goes as smoothly as possible. The help they provide is absolutely essential. Although bikes piling up in the hall has to be one of the more beautiful sights of renting your own house.

Lecturers �ight for pensions in face of reforms

George Sandeman News Editor Beth Staunton Politics Correspondent

Between 5,000-10,000 people marched on the Quayside to demonstrate against proposed pension reforms.

looking ahead to people coming into the sector. New people coming in will be under a completely new system, and this will create a two-tier system. I just think it’s wrong.” Speaking after the rally, UCU branch president and politics lecturer, Barry Gills said: “I think it was a great day – we met our goals in terms of the support we anticipated for our ac-

tions, both at the picket lines and on the march. It was really positive and inspiring. The message will be clear to the government and to our employers that the people demand fairness. They don’t have the right to take any of our pensions away from us.”

THE COURIER Monday December 5 2011

news

Cosmetics giant Avon reports 15% rise in number of students becoming selling girls Rachael Day Rising numbers of students are turning to part-time employment with leading global beauty company Avon to help fund their university studies. Avon representatives can make £100 profit for every £400 of products they sell. The most successful Avon reps, with around 50 customers placing an average order of £20 every three weeks, could therefore potentially earn up to £1,000 from an aver-

Students could be swapping lectures for lipstick in order to pay off some of their university aquired debt Photography: Arby Reed (Flickr)

age £4,000 worth of sales. This is approximately equivalent to the minimum termly maintenance loan students living outside of London currently receive. It therefore comes as no surprise that certain areas of the country are reporting up to 15% rises in the number of students now signing up to work with the cosmetics company to pay their way through university. Debbie Davis, executive Avon sales leader from Sunderland, said: “I find that many young people recognise the potential in running their own Avon

business; it’s a very flexible way for them to generate additional income to support themselves while studying.” However, balancing university studies with a part-time job can have negative effects. A recent survey conducted by the National Union of Students (NUS) and HSBC found that 63% of students either had, or intended to obtain, some form of paid employment, and 34% of those who worked during term-time believed that this impacted negatively on their studies. Yet, despite this alarming statistic,

many students simply could not afford to otherwise attend university with many student loans not covering even basic living costs. Students in England and Wales currently face average costs of £31,373 for a three-year degree. However, this is set to rise dramatically to an average of £48,503 from September 2012 when tuition fees are tripled to up to £9,000 per year with accommodation and living costs inevitably inflating too. Peter Mercer, vice president of the NUS, said: “Most students find the

financial support they receive from the Government will not cover spiralling rent or food bills and are forced into taking on more and more outside work simply to keep themselves in university and out of debt.” It is expected that, come 2012 and the increase in tuition fees, yet more students will turn to companies such as Avon to fund their studies, reflecting the increasing pressure to find the extra money wherever possible.

THE COURIER Monday December 5 2011

news

Uni to spend £1.5 million on student forum Elliot Bentley Deputy Editor

The new ‘student forum’ will replace the Museum of Antiquities to create a “pleasant green space” Photography: Elliot Bentley

Demolition work began last week on the Museum of Antiquities, the redbricked building adjacent to the Students’ Union. Although a similar hue to its surroundings, the Museum of Antiquities is not an original red-brick building and was only built in the 1950s. For 60 years it was used to exhibit ancient artefacts including 200 stone altars from Hadrian’s wall and items dating back to the Paleolithic era. In 2009 these were moved to the renovated Great North Museum (previously known as the Hancock Museum) and last year the building was used to house the Students’ Union shop during the Union’s renovation. In place of the museum, the University is spending £1.5 million on a new open area to be called the “student forum”, described in a press release as “a pleasant green space, with landscaping and artwork”. It is due for completion in July 2012. NUSU President Laura Perry said of the forum: “This is an exciting development which will create a great space for students. It will be nice to have an area with plenty of seating for students to meet close to the Students’ Union building.”

Reclaiming the night for female safety Beth Staunton Politics Correspondent

Newcastle City Centre saw around 150 people march through its streets on Saturday November 26 to ‘Reclaim the Night’, an annual demonstration that raises awareness about violence against women. The first ‘Reclaim the Night’ marches took place across the UK in 1977 as an angry response to the small number of sexual assaults that led to actual convictions.

Today, according to the British Crime Survey, there are an estimated 47,000 rapes every year and yet the conviction rate is at just 5.3%, one of the lowest in Europe and lower than Britain in the 1970s. The ‘Reclaim the Night’ protest articulates the idea that while women daily face the threat of sexual assault, their freedom as citizens is restricted, and this disadvantages their equality with men. The demonstration in Newcastle was organised by the Northern TUC and promoted by Newcastle Univer-

sity Students’ Union, with help from the Feminist Society and the Newcastle Women’s Collective. They held banner-making sessions to prepare for the march and also placed a wish tree at the end of Northumberland Street on the day where people could write down their hopes for an end to violence against women. Esta Innes, NUSU Gender Equality Officer, said: “This is still such an important issue. People think stuff like this doesn’t happen anymore, but if you think how much women have to consider on a day-to-day basis to pre-

The scheme was announced a month after news that youth unemployment had reached 1.02 million. Recent statistics have classified as many as one in 16 to 24-year-olds as NEETs; those not in employment, education or training. Mr. Clegg, speaking with Radio 4’s Today programme, stressed that the

Clegg further stressed his worries about the youth unemployment crisis: “If people are out of work when they’re young, they bear the scars for decades. If they have a false start, they might not ever fully catch up. These are tomorrow’s mothers, fathers and taxpayers. If they end up falling behind, our whole society pays the price,” he said. Some have seen the move as cynical, viewing it as a basic revision of Labour’s future jobs fund, which was scrapped by the coalition government after coming into power. Brendan Barber, General Secretary of the Trade Union Congress, echoed this feeling, but added: “It may be late, but the TUC welcomes elements of the plans being announced – the job subsidy, training and extra help from job centres.”

vent themselves from being attacked, for example when they’re walking home at a night, the threat is obviously there. Why should we have to live with that kind of fear?” The demonstration was mainly attended by women of all ages but with a decently-sized male contingent. Protesters made their way with banners and drums from Haymarket to Old Eldon Square where they lit candles and listened to speeches. One speaker was MP for Newcastle Central, Chi Onwurah, who said: “If we don’t stand up for our rights, who

is going to do that for us now? Attitudes have changed but only because of actions and organisation and they haven’t changed enough.” Another passionate speaker was Huffty from the West End Women and Girls Centre, who emphasised local action: “95% of women are scared to go out at night. If we want to make our city and our community safer we need zero tolerance on sexual and domestic violence. These streets are our streets and we want to feel safe on our streets.”

Clegg looks to help the young jobless

Patrick McHugh

Deputy Prime Minister Nick Clegg last week announced a £1 billion subsidy package to provide work and training opportunities to unemployed young people. Among proposals for the money is a £2,275 fund to any company which hires an unemployed youth for six months. The placements will be open to all who have been claiming job seekers allowance for at least nine months, including graduates. Other proposals include funding work experience placements of up to eight weeks for 250,000 people, as well as at least 20,000 incentive payments for companies to take on young apprentices. The government has, however, warned that anybody who drops out of a placement will lose their right to unemployment benefits in the future.

£2,275

The amount companies will receive when they hire an unemployed youth

move would benefit the “demoralised” youth, who face a lack of job opportunities: “It provides hope to the many, many young people who, at the moment, are feeling very anxious and uncertain about their future,” he told the BBC. Speaking later at a speech in Leeds,

Nick Clegg is hoping to give younger people a brighter future with renewed investment into the youth job sector Photography: bisgovuk (Flickr)

THE COURIER Monday December 5 2011

national student news

York sports club under �ire after abusive emails Wills Robinson News Editor

The University of York Cricket Club has come under heavy scrutiny after circulating emails with elements of sexism and homophobia. An anonymous source contacted the Universities’ paper Nouse and said, “Their emails are always offensive, and, as someone who likes a joke, I can’t believe how rude they are.” YUSU Sports President Sam Asfahani condemned the club for their actions by saying, “What has been written in the UYCC emails is plain unacceptable. “Certain clubs need to realise that

Job Title: Customer Service Advisor Employer: Sky Closing date: 31.12.11 Salary: TBC Basic job description: Making our customers feel special is our number one priority. With Sky, you’ll not only get training on what great customer service is, but also how to deal with billing and technical enquiries. The customer really is your customer - and it’s up to you to make sure they leave the call satisfied. We’ll be recruiting over the next few months for the roles which will be based at Gallogate, to start in the winter. Person requirements: We’re looking for people who get their sense of job satisfaction from making other people happy. People who passionately believe in putting the customer first, enjoy learning new things and get a real buzz from knowing they’ve left every customer with a smile on their face. Location: Newcastle upon Tyne. Job Title: Sales Assistant Employer: Grid Closing date: 12.12.11 Salary: National Minimum Wage Basic job description: Permanent and temporary Sales Assistant positions available at new extreme sports store in the Metrocentre, various shifts and hours available. Duties include: liaising with/advising customers, creating sales, stock replenishment, cash handling and other general store duties. Person requirements: A knowledge of extreme sports desirable but not essential. Applicants must have excellent customer service/communication, numeracy skills and the ability to work within a team. Location: Metrocentre, Gateshead. Job Title: Telephone Support Workers Employer: Mental Health Matters Closing date: 07.12.11 Salary: £16,440 pro rata Basic job description: Mental Health Matters is one of the UKs most innovative organizations working with people with mental health needs. The Mental Health Matters Helpline is a 24/7 telephone crisis management, support and information service. We require Casual Telephone Support Workers on an ad-hoc basis to provide telephone support to adults experiencing mental health distress. Person requirements: You will be confident and articulate with proven communication/ IT skills and hold a counselling certificate (or equivalent).

they not only have a social responsibility for their members but also reputational [sic] responsibility for our university. We will now follow the regular disciplinary procedure with it �irst going to the York Sport Committee for suggested punishments.” A spokesperson from the Cricket Club responded by saying, “I feel it would be unfair to use the incident as a representation of our club. “Though what was said was inappropriate on re�lection, no offence was ever intended to be caused to any member. The emails were sent carelessly, with little forethought, and appropriate action will be taken, both by our club and York Sport itself.”

Location: Newcastle upon Tyne. Job Title: Sales Assistant Employer: Kurt Geiger Closing date: 21.12.11 Salary: Competitive Basic job description: Sales Assistant required for the Kurt Geiger store in the Metrocentre to work 16 hours per week. Duties include liaising with customers, creating sales to meet targets, stock replenishment, cash handling, merchandising, warehousing and other general store duties. Person requirements: An interest in shoes and accessories essential, as is excellent customer service/communication/numeracy skills and the ability to work within a team. Location: Metrocentre, Gateshead. Job Title: Supervisory Assistant Employer: Newcastle City Council Closing date: 08.12.11 Salary: £12,787 - £13,589 pro rata Basic job description: West Walker Primary School is seeking to appoint a Lunchtime Supervisory Assistant to work for 7.5 hours per week (term time only), commencing the 16th January 2012. We are committed to safeguarding and promoting the welfare of children and the successful applicant will need to have an enhanced CRB check completed. Person requirements: Previous experience of working with children is essential. Location: Newcastle upon Tyne. Job Title: Supervisor/Keyholder Employer: Priceless Shoes Closing date: 06.12.11 Salary: National Minimum Wage Basic job description: A part-time Retail Supervisor is required for Metrocentre shoe store working 16+ hours per week. Duties are to manage the sales team, merchandising, cash handling and liaising with customers. There is a 6 months probationary period attached to this vacancy. Shifts are to be arranged and you must be fully ﬂexible regarding hours. Person requirements: You must have previous retail experience along with experience in a supervisory role. Location: Metrocentre, Gateshead. Job Title: Bank- Healthcare Assistant Employer: NHS Closing date: 16.12.11 Salary: £13,903 - £17,003 pro rata

The paper’s source felt the society deserved condemnation after the latest email appeared to make light of Gary Speed’s recent suicide. The source commented by saying, “I still �ind it incredibly offensive that they would seek to make light of a situation in which someone has committed suicide.” The club responded by stating, “As a society, we obviously do not condone offensive inappropriate emails. The email subject, though seemingly a reference to Gary Speed’s death, was actually a quote from ‘Knocked Up’, however the timing was very poor and the writer showed bad judgement.”

Basic job description: We are looking to recruit health care assistants to work on a casual flexible basis within a number of wards and departments around the Trust. Main duties will consist of: Assisting the qualified nursing staff in the delivery of high quality patient care, providing assistance and support to patients, carers and the multi-disciplinary teams. Person requirements: You should demonstrate excellent communication skills, and have a flexible approach to your work. Relevant experience in a caring role within a healthcare setting is required for this post. The successful candidate will have the flexibility to work a minimum of four shifts per month. Location: Newcastle upon Tyne. Job Title: Twilight Stockroom Assistant Employer: The Entertainer Closing date: 13.12.11 Salary: £5.26 - £6.24 per hour Basic job description: A Twilight Stockroom Assistant is required to work 8 hours per week at the store in the Metrocentre. Duties will include tidying store, filling shelves and light cleaning. This is a temporary role until 24th December 2011. Person requirements: Previous stock room or retail experience would be useful, but not essential. Must be over 18 as will be required to work after 10pm and will be required to use buffing machine. Location: Metrocentre, Gateshead. Job Title: Room Attendant Employer: Hilton Hotel Closing date: 08.12.11 Salary: £6.08 per hour Basic job description: A Room Attendant is required to work on a casual basis at the Hilton Hotel Newcastle/Gateshead. The Housekeeping Department is responsible for the upkeep and cleanliness of the entire hotel including guest rooms, public areas, Food & Beverage outlets, sports facilities, back of house areas and Team Member facilities. Person requirements: We are looking for people with a commitment to delivering high levels of guest service, smart and tidy appearance, positive attitude and good communication skills when meeting guests and the enthusiasm to be part of a winning team. Location: Newcastle/Gateshead.

Ball magazine reprinted

Joke toilet notice goes viral

Helen Lam Online News Editor

University of St Andrews

Exeter University A magazine promoting an Exeter University Ball has had to be reprinted after complaints about a sexual violence joke. The magazine, which was promoting the Safer Sex Ball, made a joke about taking a woman’s clothes off without consent. Sophie Odgers-Roe, the Students’ Guild’s Racial Equality Representative, said, “When I saw it, I was shocked, horri�ied and outraged. “The Hidden Marks report was delivered last year, which details that one out of six women are violently assaulted or raped on university campuses. “In light of this, I just can’t believe the sheer audacity of it.” RAG society, the organisers of the ball, commented, “We would like to apologise unreservedly for any offence caused by an unacceptable comment made in the SSB magazine.” Following this they ensured that all copies of the magazine had been removed and reprinted without the controversial comment.

Students injured in attack University of Leeds

Two Leeds students were left hospitalised following an attack by a gang of masked muggers last Wednesday. This attack comes after a recent increase in the number of gang related crimes occurring across Leeds, with ten victims suffering injuries so far. Guy Dixon, Senior Press Of�icer, Leeds University, said, “The University takes the safety of its students and staff very seriously.” “Following the incidents we are working closely with the police and Leeds University Union to increase our security, particularly close to student halls of residence and the common walking routes to campus.” Six arrests have currently been made in relation to these incidences.

Lecturer in contempt of court University of Bedfordshire

The attorney general has been granted permission to bring a contempt of court case against a juror, a lecturer at the University of Bedfordshire, who allegedly carried out research on a defendant. Theodora Dallas was a juror in a case at Luton Crown Court in July this year. It has been alleged that she sought information via the internet on a defendant who was charged with causing GBH with intent, and in doing so would have broken court regulations. After the concerns were raised about her conduct the case was aborted and a retrial ordered. Louis Mably, acting for the attorney general, commented, “Next day, when the jury retired, she informed other members of the jury. Her conduct was reported to the court and the judge discharged Ms Dallas and the remaining jurors.”

A joke notice which appeared in the University toilets asking students not to masturbate in the library, has quickly become a viral sensation. The notice, which bore all the hallmarks of a formal University notice, including the University’s motto and University of St Andrew’s �inance stamp, stated that “the recently refurbished toilet �loors are not designed for your semen!” The notice also added “semen stains on the �loor cost thousands of pounds to be removed and must be re�lected in tuition fees rises for next year.” One embarrassed student admitted that he fell for the hoax and immediately went to complain to the library staff, arguing that there was no way that stains could be responsible for a rise in tuition fees.

Malaria discovery in Leicester University of Leicester

Scientists at the University of Leicester have made an important breakthrough in the �ight against malaria. Malaria is contracted when a female mosquito bites through the skin of an individual and injects them with the malaria parasite, Plasmodium. The scientists are now claiming, however, that they have unearthed new ways in which the parasite survives in the bloodstream, therefore enabling them to develop better drugs to �ight against the disease. Malaria affects over 300 million people worldwide a year, causing a devastating one million deaths, most common in children.

Student blinded after drink spike University of St Andrews A student at St Andrews has been reported to the Universities’ administration after an undergraduate was temporarily blinded when his drink was contaminated with anti-freeze. American Alexander Hilton, 20, had not been formally charged last night in relation to the incident when a bottle of wine was spiked with the substance, which can potentially cause damage to the optic nerve. Fellow American Robert Forbes, 19, spent a week in hospital after drinking the wine before the University’s annual New Hall Ball. Forbes returned to his home in the US on his return from hospital to receive specialist treatment restoring his eyesight. A spokesmen for Fife police said at the time that, ”A 20-year-old man has been reported to the procurator �iscal in Cupar in relation to an offence of culpable and reckless conduct.” Forbes is suspected to have shared the said bottle of wine with other friends at the halls before the event, but is thought to have drunk more in comparison to his companions.

Comment

THE COURIER Monday December 5 2011

Comment Editors Sophie McCoid and Susie May Beever Online Comment Editor Jack Torrance courier.comment@ncl.ac.uk

thecourieronline.co.uk/comment

The idea of being cared for by an emotionless drone merely following a set of instructions is an unpleasant one Is this just the start of a robot takeover? Photography: Will Pate (Flickr)

Rage against the machines Elliot Bentley Deputy Editor

hile here in the UK we still wonder at the marvel of automated vacuumcleaning ‘robots’ such as the Roomba, tech-obsessed nations such as Japan and Korea are hard at work constructing incredible machines to care for the elderly, greet shoppers, and even model on catwalks. The HRP-4C, for example, looks deceptively like a youthful female pop star – able to move her lips to sing (well, mime) and dance elaborate routines. Unveiled at Tokyo Fashion week in 2009, were it not for her

shiny metal limbs it would have been dif�icult to tell the difference between the robot and her backing dancers. On the more commercial end of the scale is another female-shaped robot, Korean-made Showbo, able to greet customers and explain the layout of the shop (and all yours for just £5,000). Some of the robots produced commercially have even made it over to the UK; Sony’s now-retired robot dog Aibo, touted for its ability to learn from its environment, sold over 200,000 units within its seven years of production. Other robots may have more practical uses. South Korea, last week, announced plans to trial three robotic prison wardens to monitor inmates for ‘abnormal behaviour’, such as violence and suicide. At half a million pounds each, these unlikely robocops are no cost-cutting exercise, but the high-pro�ile investment is touted as a further boost for Korea’s rapidlygrowing robotics industry.

Yet most of those examples are notable only for their novelty, and are no more useful, or less expensive, than a human counterpart. Where robots may make a real difference in our lives is in western countries with shrinking workforces, Japan in particular faces a de�icit of workers due to its strict immigration policy, the solution to which is obviously to build expensive robots. Possibly. One big idea is that ‘partner robots’ can help the sick and the elderly live independently in their own homes without the need for living in a care home or regular visits from a helper. I’m sceptical, however: while the biggest barrier to the robotics industry is undoubtedly pricy, it seems unlikely that the idea of ‘caring robots’ will ever truly take off. Even in robot-mad Japan, where most of this research is taking place and whose pop culture is saturated with intelligent humanoid robots (the concept explored in depth by

franchises such as Astroboy, Ghost in the Shell and, erm, Transformers), hospitals where ‘caring robots’ were trialled reported that patients were less than keen. And who can blame them? The idea of being cared for by an emotionless drone merely following a set of instructions is an unpleasant one, particularly considering how often modern technology goes wrong. Besides, a single horror story of, say, a robot dropping a hot drink over a patient could destroy the entire industry. No surprise then that initial batches of these machines have sold poorly (again, �ive-digit prices probably don’t help, either). Where price no longer becomes an issue is in the military, and indeed the US have already begun using humanoperated robots in combat such as the high-pro�ile ‘Predator drone.’ These may reduce the risk of human casualties (at least, among those using the robots) but the chilling possibility of

terminator-style robot soldiers, as futuristic as the concept may seem, is beginning to look more and more believable. As for Isaac Asimov’s vision of selfaware robots with emotions, well, that’s considerably further off. Mobile, �lexible machines are one thing, but truly intelligent computers are still very much science �iction. Domesticated robot helpers, however, are de�initely less so; the real question being whether we’re willing to accept them into our homes. I for one would not be keen on living with a real life Bicentennial Man (particularly not one voiced by Robin Williams). Regardless, robots are likely to start showing up in our daily lives within the near future: in shops, businesses and possibly even schools. We’re already living in a science �iction world of autonomous, reactive machines, the potential of which are equally exciting and frightening.

THE COURIER Monday December 5 2011

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This week I’ve learnt... Becky Orwin

... the Megabus isn’t actually as horrendous as it sounds.

Like many students, I seem to spend an infuriating amount of my time travelling. What with visiting friends in other cities, exploring the places around me and going home, I was starting to feel like I should just go the whole hog and invest in some National Rail Enquiries shares. Well, y’know, if I had any money. Now I have many, many angry things to say about trains; how unreasonably expensive they are (something’s not right when it’s cheaper to get to Spain than Shef�ield), the fact that mine are invariably late, but only when I have to make a connection, there’s never anywhere to sit, and it’s not like you can turf an old lady out of your reserved seat and claim to have the moral high ground. I have spent more train journeys than I care to remember sat on my bag in that between-carriages area that smells of toilet, and means that every �ive minutes you have to stand up to let past the stream of people foolishly thinking they’ll �ind some seats further down the train. And don’t even get me started on the eternally empty, threecarriage ‘�irst-class’ section. Ranting aside, when I checked my bank account recently (following a 20 minute build-up of deep breathing and calm thoughts), I physically paled at realising how much money I’d spent on the pro�iteering eejits at National Rail. With an impending trip to visit a friend in Manchester on the cards, I �inally resigned myself to what I knew from the beginning would be inevitable; the Megabus. Now this more than doubled the journey time, but it came at less than a third of the price, so at this point it was a sacri�ice I was willing to make. I never seem to be able to get to sleep on cars or coaches, so I was absolutely dreading a four hour journey that began at nine o’clock in the evening. But you know, it actually really wasn’t that bad. Admittedly, it was kind of cramped and extremely long, and there was a group of Geordies sat at the back getting progressively drunker, serenading us all with the �irst line of ‘Walking In Memphis’ over and over again, occasionally substituting the lyrics for dirty alternatives, (it really was a lot like a school trip). But if you just stuck your iPod in, looked out the window and tried to guess which city you were in, it honestly wasn’t so bad. It was almost (after the Geordies got off in Leeds) actually relaxing. Almost. So ignoring the drunks (which, to be fair, you get just as many, if not more of, on late-night trains), the Megabus is something I would recommend to anyone needing a cheap journey. My friend in Oxford pointed out that now I can see her for less than twenty quid – if I spend eight hours on the coach. Which seems a bit far.

Academy schools to bring back the Big Mac ? Tash Hosford

n 2005, Jamie Oliver embarked on the Feed Me Better campaign, following his TV programme Jamie’s School Dinners. This highlighted the sorry state of school food and brought to the public’s attention the fact that the government enforced more standards on dog food than school food. This

campaign culminated with a petition to the then Prime Minster Tony Blair, demanding better nutritional standards in schools. Immediately a £300 million boost to school meal funding was announced. This led to strict nutritional guidelines for meals introduced to primary schools in 2008 and secondaries in 2009. These guidelines insisted on more fruit and vegetables on the menu and a reduction in fatty foods. This meant chips would be served on limited occasions and the sale of crisps, sweets and �izzy drinks would be banned. While this move was not universally popular, with the most memorable instance being parents passing chips and burgers to their children through

Jamie is back in the news this week with his latest campaign. Photography: Scandic Hotels(Flickr)

school railings in Rotherham, it has dramatically changed food in schools for the better. The take-up of school meals has been growing since the revolution was kick-started by Oliver six years ago. According to the latest of�icial �igures more than two-�ifths of primary school children and a third of secondary school pupils are now opting for school meals. This progress is now under threat, as the government has decided to allow its new �lagship schools (academies) to be exempt from the strict nutritional standards introduced for all schools two years ago. The Secretary of State for Education, Michael Gove, wrote to Oliver earlier in the year saying: “I would like to reassure you we have no reason to believe that academies will not provide healthy balanced meals which meet current nutritional standards.” However, Oliver thinks this could be a disaster as academies count for a third of all secondary schools at the moment, and probably a lot more in the next few years. He sees Gove’s actions to be eroding the standards that have been achieved so far by allowing academies to opt out. He argues that although it’s a wonderful ambition for all schools to provide brilliant food, it’s unrealistic. Head teachers are more pushed than ever, and now they have to be entrepreneurial caterers on top of everything else they

have to do. Oliver believes that “the standards are there to really keep everyone on their game. It’s not a large amount of paperwork, it really isn’t, and for what it’s for, which is essentially the future of our country, it’s really important.” If there are no standards to adhere to, private catering companies looking to maximise their pro�its can simply revert to the old standards of seven years ago and the infamous turkey twizzler. Requests have already been made by the Local Authority Catering Association, which has 700 members in the UK, to put confectionery and other snacks back on the menu. It is the return of the sausage roll to schools. Although Gove believes schools will act in pupils’ best interests by providing them with healthy meals and the associated bene�its they bring, it is unrealistic and perhaps foolish to hope all schools will uniformly uphold that duty. With 25% of under-tens obese and around one third of teenagers, obesity is already costing the NHS £4 billion a year and a further £10 billion is being spent to �ight diabetes, which research has proven can be linked to diet. Why is Gove so reluctant to use these standards as guidelines, as Oliver suggests, as a safety net against the predicted rise in weight-related health problems which Britain certainly can’t afford?

Should children be exposed to the ‘truth’? Amy Shields

Yes

hen I was in primary school, I was pretty innocent to the evils of the big bad world. I didn’t learn any swear words until I was 12, and I had no idea about drugs until we got taught about them in secondary school. But children seem to be learning younger and younger about these realities. ‘It’s Just a Plant’ is a simple illustrated children’s book out last week, which sounds perfectly pleasant. Except that it is about cannabis. Little girl Jackie walks in on her parents smoking a joint, and is then taken on an ‘educational’ journey to the farmer, doctor and police, who apparently teach her about cannabis. This book is wrong on so many levels, almost glorifying smoking marijuana. It describes how it makes people feel ‘happy’ and ‘dreamy’. Add to that a complete lack of discussion of its negative effects, and claims that powerful, successful people including presidents, teachers and doctors use it, and it seems there is no end to how wrong the author of this book got it. Clearly, this book is not helpful to anyone. But more than that, drugs should not be taught to children who are too young to really comprehend the seriousness of their impact. Children are highly likely to misunderstand lessons, and playground chat-

ter can easily spread false ideas about very dangerous drugs. Exposing children to these issues at a young age is not a good idea. Education does not stop young people who are determined to break the rules from engaging in underage sex or experimenting with drugs. It is the minority of young people who do this, and yet they have had the same education as everyone else. Rather the decision to rebel usually comes from a variety of pressures, and often simply poor judgement. Furthermore, if children are introduced to drugs at a young age, they may seem as though they are a normal, if dangerous, part of adulthood in a similar way that alcohol is. Rather, there should be more of a stigma created around drugs, because it makes you aware that in fact they are not for casual use, and will be more likely to scare or discourage children away from their use. Children are already exposed to so much, with pressures and concerns such as body image to deal with. Let’s allow them to enjoy their childhood instead of forcing the horrors of the real world on them too early. Censoring books such as ‘It’s Just a Plant’ is exactly what should be done. Perhaps I am being naive. Being brought up in a very suburban, middle-class area, drugs have never crossed my path. Of course, there are areas where people are confronted with these realities from a very early age, and in these places children should be taught a little about them. But it should be in a manner that scares them, not glori�ies them as this book does. I am not saying that I think children should be kept in a protective bubble; their innocence will only make them vulnerable. But nor should children be exposed to the grim realities of the world before they are ready to comprehend them.

Annie Johnson

he idea of topics so ‘irrelevant’ to childhood being displayed across the pages of a book for children seem shocking, but should they be? We make a distinction between adult topics and topics which affect children, but in a society where issues such as underage sex and drug abuse is prevailing on a wide scale it seems that to act as if these things do not exist, by censoring what children are exposed to, only leaves them ill-educated. Within ’It’s Just a Plant’, obviously the message of a positive drug fuelled lifestyle isn’t ideal for children, or anyone for that matter; however, I don’t think that censoring that information in anyway displays a better message. It is vital to show children all views, and educate them to make their own good decisions, not dictate the perspective they should have. We should be educating children to make intelligent decisions around issues such as alcohol, sex and drugs, but by denying their existence in childhood we give little scope to do so. In 2006, one in seven people admitted to Accident and Emergency departments across the UK for alcohol related health issues were under 14 years old. Alcohol abuse it seems is not just an adult problem. Similarly, this applies to drug use,

with the charity Drug Aware releasing statistics which suggest that the average starting age of Heroin use in many towns and cities in the UK is just 15. In Britain, we perceive these issues, and similar problems related to the sexualisation of children, to come distinctly from overexposure. Surely it is actually due to a lack of appropriate exposure in a safe environment, and through mediums available and understandable to a child; it is after all the Netherlands, who operate sexual education in many primary schools, who have one of the lowest teenage pregnancy rates in the world. In last year’s general election, the British National Party’s views were pulled apart during TV debates; it was vital to give them a voice and then to question how and why they may be wrong. That seems common sense in the adult world, yet we do not want to extend the courtesy to children, the most questioning of all. Obviously a child’s brain is more easily affected by images and messages, but unless we introduce them to the reality of the world, we have little hope of creating insusceptible adults. It appears we feel that denying undesirable things is the key to dissolving them, when in fact we just create an old-fashioned taboo which closes the door of discussion and stops a child questioning and learning about everything which composes the society they grow up in. If these issues are alien to their world, there is no basis for education. Thus these things become a mysterious and exciting new thing later on in life, rather than just a story on a page to be questioned and discussed.

Emails in response to articles should be sent to editor.union@ncl.

THE COURIER Monday December 5 2011

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Ask David anything

From Palestine to partying in Ibiza: last week’s Guardian saw over 100 public �igures ask our Prime Minister a question, so we asked several Courier readers what (if they were given the chance ) they would ask David Cameron, and why...

Susie May Beever Comment Editor

Ralph Blackburn

Richard Shelley

What about youth unemployment?

David, why is your face so shiny?

Why aren’t you dealing properly with national debt?

The question I would ask David Cameron is how is he going to get the youth population into jobs? With youth unemployment �igures hitting one million and the threat of the economy about to double dip, I would like him to be more proactive. The current government ‘work experience programme’ is failing rapidly and the austerity measures show no sign of either getting people jobs or promoting growth. How Mr Cameron deals with these issues, I believe, must be a domestic priority.

There are many things I’d love to ask our Prime Minister: how do you really envisage the �inancial future of the country? How do you expect to improve the widening rich-poor divide? What’s Berlusconi like on a night out? But I think I speak for the nation when I say the question we all want to know is, why does your face resemble a window pane? We all want to know the secret, is there some sort of special moisturiser you use that the rest of us don’t know about? Do beads of sebum ooze out of your pores each time you’re hatching your next plan of evil genius-ness? Or do you just charge extra for the window cleaners? I’m fascinated.

Mr Cameron, you once said “we need to deal with our debts and go for growth”. Economic growth, however, requires investment. Investment requires money, and under our current system, money is debt. Less debt means less in the money supply and therefore less available for investment and growth. The UK has a debt-based economy requiring in�inite growth on a planet of �inite resources. When are we going to see a politician smart enough to see the illogicality of this and brave enough to make fundamental changes towards a better system rather than continuing to throw good money after bad trying to patch up the existing one?

What do you think is the best preventive measure to stop Iran acquiring nuclear weapons?

Do you think the Tory party represents a democratic government?

Do you have any regrets? If so, what?

Some reports suggest they could develop weapons grade uranium in as little as two years time. Given the recent escalations in animosity between the UK and Iran, with the invasion of the British embassy in Tehran and the expulsion of Iranian diplomats from London, are increased trade sanctions enough? Considering we have seen such policies fail in preventing North Korea from becoming a nuclear power, can we afford to try them again with Iran? Similarly, can we trust Israel to give notice of any retaliatory measures should they be attacked?

The advances made in post-war British politics of opening up opportunities in government to people from all social and economic backgrounds have very much ground to a halt. 52.2% of Cabinet Ministers attended public schools and 65.2% went to Oxbridge. This seems entirely contradictory to the claim that democracy is supposed to represent the whole country. I would be over-the-moon for the opportunity to ask David Cameron this question and to hear his response, (as I suspect his answer would fail to change my opinion).

I’d ask this question because I think it reveals a lot about a person and I think it’d be especially interesting to see what David Cameron regrets and why. Whether that would be regretting introducing harsh cuts to reduce the de�icit, or regretting not having that extra Weetabix at breakfast. It would be fascinating to have an insight into our PM’s unful�illed desires and to realise that he’s just a normal guy like you or me.

George Sandeman News Editor

Joe Wood

Sophie McCoid Comment Editor

Budget according to Gideon: are we further down the road to failure? Jack Torrance Online Comment Editor

t can be very easy to put a political spin on the recent events surrounding the direction of the UK’s economy. In his autumn statement, Chancellor of the Exchequer, George Osborne, acknowledged that changes need to be made to his economic plan if Britain is to escape from the recession soon. Osborne announced a number of new measures designed to promote consumer and business con�idence, as well as stimulate the economy. Among these was the implementation of an increase in infrastructure spending, an extension to the business loan guarantee scheme and a reduction in the planned increase of fuel duty. Ed Balls, Osborne’s Shadow Chancellor, would certainly like this change of tack to be perceived by the media and public as a “U-turn”, that great piece of political capital which almost every parliamentarian tries to goad their opponent towards.

It is certainly clear that Osborne’s plan hasn’t been as successful as he had hoped; borrowing is forecast to be £158 billion higher than the government’s own forecasts a year ago. The one central economic objective of the coalition, eliminating the de�icit during this �ive-year term does not look set to be achieved. Balls has been keen to highlight that despite the failure to reduce borrowing, the economy has failed to pick up substantially, with less than 1% growth forecasted this year, unemployment predicted to hit 2.8 million, and consumer and business con�idence at a worryingly low level. The Shadow Chancellor suggested that cutting too quick and too fast has choked off the recovery, reducing tax receipts and ironically meaning more, rather than less debt. It may seem counterintuitive, but Balls’s point is that debt is going to be too high because debt was too low last year; basically, to borrow less in the long run we need to borrow more now. Furthermore, Osborne and the Conservatives’ smug pre-election narrative that “you can’t spend your way out of a recession” is totally undermined by his decision to reroute investment into infrastructure in order to stimulate growth. Cameron and Osborne belittled Labour’s action to keep the economy a�loat as wasteful

spending, but this autumn statement effectively acknowledges the power of the government to stimulate the economy. If anything, it seems lamentable that this isn’t a genuine u-turn. Whilst the Chancellor is beginning to make the right kinds of noises about infrastructure, business con�idence and jobs, it has been made clear that these new spending commitments will be funded by cuts elsewhere. As a result, the overall impact on economic activity has the potential to be negligible. Ultimately, though, it appears that the only real conclusion that can be drawn is that nobody really knows what is going to happen or which solution will be most bene�icial to the economy; uncertainty has been the dominant theme in most economic news coverage recently. The Eurozone’s economy is truly on a knife-edge: the news seems to alternate between successful market stimulating bailout packages and scary end-of-day predictions of �inancial collapse. Domestically, the right policy choice is excruciatingly dif�icult to call; deeper cuts clearly have the potential to pull the rug from beneath the fragile roots of economic growth, but a failure to cut could be equally damaging.

Can Osborne’s new changes to the budget make the cut?. Photography: conservativeparty (Flickr)

THE COURIER Monday December 5 2011

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History should be balanced, not just British Luke Henman President of the Politics Society

t Beamish Museum, in the heart of the County Durham countryside, there is a schoolhouse - frozen in time and as it would have looked in 1913. The walls of its classrooms are covered with world maps splashed with red ink, charting the furthest reaches of the British Empire. There are framed pictures of Wellington at Waterloo, Nelson lying on the deck of HMS Victory and the various generals of the Empire. The newly crowned King George V peers down at you and the room seems to echo the approving words of the Education Secretary: “give people the chance to be proud of our past and, in particular, proud of the heroes and heroines that fought for freedom over time.” However, this was not the opinion of some long-dead minister speaking on the eve of World War One. These were the words of Michael Gove, current secretary of State for Education, speaking in November 2011.

History is a powerful tool, with the power to teach us the mistakes of previous generations as well as informing our morality and view of the world. Michael Gove knows this. However, rather than seeing this as the reason to treat the past with care, demonstrating its complexities and trying to present as full a picture as possible (even when it is uncomfortable), the Education Minister’s vision is for history lessons which are patriotic and inspiring, though not necessarily accurate. Only last week did Mr Gove express his displeasure at the teaching of US and German history. He would prefer a greater emphasis on Britain, saying that history should “celebrate the distinguished role of these islands in the history of the world” and portray Britain as “a beacon of liberty for others to emulate”. This attempt to rewrite history has been going on since the start of this coalition government – one of his �irst acts was to ask Niall Ferguson, a man who claims that “empire is more necessary in the 21st Century than ever before” to rewrite the history curriculum. Presumably, this tour of British history does not spend too long in the hellish slave plantations of Jamaica or amongst the starving masses of the Irish potato famine. The Churchill of this fantasy was the cigar-smoking superman, not the man who stood in the House of Commons in 1937 and said, “I am

strongly in favour of using poisonous gas against uncivilised tribes.” History is full of complex issues and even more complex �igures, of different moralities and few ‘beacons of liberty.’ To use history as a propaganda tool, glorifying your own nation’s past, is at best arrogant and at worst

an attempt at indoctrination. History should shape our vision of the world; our vision of the world should not shape our history. Nor should we try to understand our history in isolation from the rest of the world. Michael Gove bemoaned that “twice as many students believed Nelson

commanded British forces at Waterloo as [correctly] named Wellington.” Well, if Mr Gove gets to return British children to the classroom of 1913, they’ll know it was Wellington. Though when asked why Hitler rose to power, the reply might be, “why would I care? I am British.” History lessons should be all encompassing not selective. Photo: Comedy_Nose (Flickr)

Best of this week’s online responses Re: Ricky on the Road to Ruins

RE: Catholic Pupils Jumping the Pew

Andy: Matter of time really. They are very small, outdated and not practical. Kitchen and bathrooms especially. Still gutting though.

Daniel: Religion shouldn’t have anything to do with the Education system. It’s indoctrinating Children at a time when they are most suggestible. I’m sure hard working and respectful non faith teachers can provide children with strong moral guidance just as well. Schools should be based around core realities where science is regarded more important than religion. I’m not going to go as far as say there isn’t a place for religion to be taught, but only an overview should be provided and it shouldn’t take a precedent over any other subjects. I don’t trust many faith schools to deliver this at all.

A Fellow Ex-Ricky roader: No one applies to Richardson Road for the elegant interior, it is a party hall, with a lively atmosphere, Halls these days are too much like the Travelodge. Alan (Ricky Rd 07/08): So they’re a bit outdated, lacking in facilities and not great to look at on open days. As soon as people actually move in there ﬁrst choice or not they love it. On my open day every student I talked to wanted to have lived at Ricky Road and because of that I made it my ﬁrst choice straight away and never looked back. Had probably the best year of my life so far in Ricky Road. Its issues make it what it is. It’s a hellhole but it’s OUR hell hole! Next you’re going to tell me they’re shutting down Sinners! Ricky Roader and Proud: People give Ricky Road this impression of being dirty and outdated yet they went through a massive refurbishment just before I moved to them which I thought actually made them nice to live in. Being on Freshers Crew I got to see many halls, in comparison to Castle Leazes and some of the halls far out. I found Ricky Road a lot nicer, cleaner and have a far more sociable environment. Fair enough if the plumbing or electrics are not what they can be or even if the place is falling down then go ahead and demolish it but please retain its legacy and build something exactly the same, us non rahs do not need en suites! What other student could say they lived in a seven sided walled room?

Re: Teachers Picket to Protect their Pensions

Daniel:

Why strike when negotiations are still on? The Government has already made two concessions, showing that it doesn’t want this strike to happen. And has already been explained by many sources, they could hold a 15 minute strike to meet the strike mandate. This would then allow negotiations to continue and if the final deal isn’t good enough then strike. This stinks to me of the whole fire fighter strike, where their union bosses urged them to strike. Subsequently, these boss’s got huge deals in the new package, while the firemen lost all their privileges (being able to sleep during night shifts etc). Union bosses and high paid civil servants are merely trying to retain their high final salary pensions, when they should be sacrificing their generous pension schemes to allow lower paid workers to have a better deal. I don’t fully trust the Government on how it is portraying their deals, but I distrust the union leaders even more.

Results of this week’s online poll Does Christmas come too early each year?

Yes

No - Festive cheer is timeless 25% Yes - It’s just a cynical attempt to cash in 75%

Re: Time for an Attitude Change on Immigration Gs: I don’t think people were concerned about Theresa May’s relaxation of passport controls in fear of window cleaners getting a few hundred more competitors, but rather the fact that genuine criminals such as hate preachers and human trafﬁckers could enter our borders freely. Oh, and while free migration can drive down the cost of services and goods, it also has the handy effect of halting increases in wages for native workers due to the foreign born workers willing less of taking lower wages. Everybody wins(?)

To respond to this week’s articles visit

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X Factor Scandals

Coke-ozza, a Risky re-shuf�le and Lily lies page 18

Winter warming Getting cosy with Waterpolo page 16

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lifestyle

Get Decorating Naiara Pellicer

December has already arrived and, with Christmas holidays just around the corner, saying that you haven’t got time enough to go shopping it’s not an excuse to don’t decorate your flat (or even just your room) this year. Here we give you all the tips to have a Christmassy place without spending a fortune.

Trees

A tree is an essential. Of course you’re not going to buy a huge tree that occupies half of the room, but you need one to start with your Christmas decorations. Poundland has the perfect solution for small rooms and even smaller wallets: 2ft Christmas trees in various colours for just £1! And once you have your tiny tree, you need stuff to put on it. The same shop offers a great variety of baubles, ribbons and garlands. Choose the style that suits you best, and let your imagination fly.

Decorations

But if Poundland is not for you and you are willing to spend a little more, I would recommend you to visit Sainsbury’s or, of course, Ikea. Sainsbury’s has got a huge assortment of pretty baubles you can use for all over the room (the Union Jack glass bauble is my personal choice, £2,99), and Ikea gives you the opportunity to have a different and cute look, always reasonable priced (set of 26 hanging decoration for £3,29 or garlands from £0,39 the cheapest one).

Lights

You can try the lighting chains from Poundland (20 bulbs for £1) or choose the battery-operated ones from Ikea (plain for £1,79 or with paper decoration or snowflake shapes for £3,49). They always look pretty on a window or across a shelf and, of course, on your Christmas tree, so don’t miss them! And to create a warmer environment don’t forget candles or flowers.

Decorating your window

Another good idea to give a different use to your decorations is to place them in an unexpected way. Why not try to hang some cards, baubles or ribbons in a cord with some mini pegs? You can buy this set at Poundland. And there you can also find many window stickers, to let everyone know that Christmas has arrived to your place. My favourite item? A snowman chalkboard to start the countdown to Christmas (you can always look at it while writing an essay and think that the torture is nearly finishing).

Party Essentials

And, obviously, if we’re talking about Christmas, we’re talking about parties! But these ones are special, so don’t be dull and invest in Christmassy stuff for your table. Ikea’s paper plates (10 pack for £1,29), disposable mugs (10 pack for £0,99) and paper napkins (30 pack for £0,99) are perfect for a student party just before the holiday. Try also golden paper plates or crackers and gift cards for the guests (everything from Poundland).

THE COURIER Monday December 5 2011

thecourieronline.co.uk/lifestyle c2.lifestyle@ncl.ac.uk

The Ultimate Student Christmas List Make the most of the run-up to Christmas before you move home for the holidays 1. Decorate!

13. Build an igloo

2. Sort your secret Santa

14. Buy animal inspired socks

Either go all out or keep it as simple, but make sure you add a bit of Christmas cheer to your . It will prevent any pangs of homesickness and give you the kind of festive feeling. Check out our handy guide on the left hand side for ideas! This immediately eliminates any who-do-I-get-a-gift-for dilemmas. You only have to buy one present and you avoid the awkward ‘How much should I spend?’ issues. Agree on a price, who to include, then put all the names in a hat. To make it more special arrange a gift-giving event such as a flat meal, or how about picking a theme for the gift buying?

3. Christmas theme party games

How about a game of Scrabble were the words all have to be do to with Christmas. Or Twister always goes down a treat, just get everyone to dress up in festive attire. The best games are always the old ones though, so try Christmas charades, or hide and seek.

4. Christmas baking

Everyone has fun, and then all the supplies will keep you going in the library for those end of term assignments.

5. Plan a flat day out

Simple as it may sound, start arranging now a day when everyone is free and then book cheap train tickets somewhere nice on www.thetrainline.com.

6. Christmas movie marathon

A night spent watching some classic Christmas movies can never go wrong. Think a Muppet’s Christmas Carol and Love Actually. Include popcorn and a cheap night in is sorted.

7. Put mistletoe up in your flat

Copious amounts of this stuff will ensure some Christmas romance is in the air, a subtle hint to that social person and a nice way to spruce up your flat.

8. Visit Fenwicks Christmas window

Some of the display may be slightly creepy but the constant crowds outside are there for a reason. Pop for an evening stroll into town and make sure you spend a few moments in front of Newcastle’s finest window display.

9. Go skating @ Life

Make like a romantic Christmas movie and spend an afternoon skating on Newcastle’s own outdoor ice rink. Depending on how good you are it can be romantic or comedic.

10. Get a Christmas jumper!

This is an essential Christmas trend and, thanks to Primark, very cheap and easy to do. The best efforts definitely go to those who have a homemade or second hand one but anything is better than nothing. You do have to wear it though!

11. Take a flat family photo

Twee as this may sound, its an amusing momento of student life and the perfect opportunity to wear those Christmas jumpers!

12. Try Eggnog

You may not like the sound of it, but trying it is a ! Make a cocktail out of it or the classic eggnog latte.

The snow may not be here when I’m writing this, but You can go all out or keep it simple but make sure you add a bit of Christmas cheer to your house. It will stop any pangs of homesickness and get you feeling all Christmassy. We even have a handy guide on the left hand side. Another Christmas trend that definitely needs to be done. From socks with bunnys on them to slippers disguised as a cuddly dog get a pair of these on your feet!

15. Have a meal with all the food left in your cupboards and freezer

Someone every thrifty minded student house should do before the Christmas holidays! This creates a culinary challenge, think Ready Steady Cook, and provides days of free meals. Dig deep in those cupboards and freezers!

17. For one night only, turn your heating on.

For a special Christmas treat, whack it on for one night - go on you know you want to!

18. Try the Greggs’ festive bake

Although many of you may still be recovering from their Halloween delight, this is a Northern must. When living in the part of the UK that loves Greggs the most, this is an essential Christmas to-do.

19. Go sledging

This one is weather dependent but as soon as those first snow flakes start dropping get yourself down to Heaton Park with anything that slides for some winter fun.

20. Have a craft night

Make your own Christmas cards, Christmas crackers, and save some money while having fun. Follow our knitting guide this week and you could make yourself a little warmer.

21. Have a Christmas dinner in your flat

The final and most essential Christmas thing is making a meal for everyone in your flat. Go all out and make a meal to remember with all the trimmings. And just think the more people you invite the greater savings you can make in the long run thanks to economies of scale!

22. Spend the day in a onesie

It’s snowing outside and you’ve finally got a real excuse not to attend that lecture

23. Have a Christmas fancy dress night out

Santa and reindeer costumes are the easy way out - why not try making a giant present costume out of a cardboard box and wearing a ribbon in your hair? Or buy a giant white onesie and stuff it with pillows, paint your nose orange and grab a hat and scarf for the perfect snowman costume!

24. Make mulled wine

Throw two or three bottles of wine into a saucepan with 12 teaspoons of honey, an orange, a few slices of lemon, a teaspoon of ground ginger and a teaspoon of cinnamon, and simmer for 20 minutes.

THE COURIER Monday December 5 2011

lifestyle

Lifestyle Editors: Olivia Mason and Ben Parkin Online Editor: Emma Balter

Drinks yule love Winter Warming Hot Chocolate

Festive treats Classic Mulled Wine 1 bottle red wine 60g/2oz Demerara sugar 1 cinnamon stick Grated nutmeg 1 orange, halved 1 dried bay leaf

1 vanilla pod, split and seeds scraped out 1 cinnamon stick 1 litre/1¾ pints milk 150g/5½oz plain chocolate, chopped into small pieces

It just wouldn’t be Christmas without a glass (or two) of this traditional bevvy. Mulled wine is really simple to make - just pour the wine in a saucepan with the orange, sugar, bay leaf and the spices and heat it gently until the sugar has dissolved. More sugar can be added if you want to make it sweeter! Once this is all done, strain into glasses and serve at once whilst still hot.

Simply heat the vanilla pod and seeds, cinnamon stick and milk in a saucepan until boiling then remove the pan from the heat and add the chocolate pieces, stirring until the chocolate melts. Whisk the hot chocolate until it’s frothy on top and add sugar, if you so wish.

Christmas Coffee

This festive fruity favourite serves 12-16 people, and is all you need to perfect your �lat party! Combine all of the above ingredients, serve in a large jug, and try not to embarrass yourself.

Soph Ryan

Christmas cupcakes

Ingredients · · · · · · · · ·

120g plain �lour 140g caster sugar 1½ tsp baking powder A pinch of salt 40g unsalted butter 120ml whole milk 1 egg ¼ vanilla extract Paper Cases and a bun tray of course!

Method

1. Preheat the oven to 170°C (325°F) Gas mark 3 2. Put the �lour, sugar, baking powder, salt and butter in a bowl and mix vigorously (or use a handheld electric whisk) until you get a sandy consistency and everything is combined. Gradually pour in half the milk and beat until the milk is mixed

No Christmas feeling will come without delicious, crumbled mice pies. These little friends are not that hard to make yourself. But don’t worry if your chef skills is un developed – Waitrose Basic range is here to solve the Christmas-sweetylack for you. The store sells packages of twelve just perfect little pies for only £2!

Bucks Fizz

250 ml cranberry juice 250 ml vodka 250 ml Cointreau or other orange�lavored liqueur 250 ml lemonade 125 ml Simple Syrup Cranberries

All you need to do is prepare the coffee using instant coffee granules. Whilst doing this heat the water in a sauce pan, setting it to a low boil. Next add the cinnamon, sugar and cocoa. Bring to a low boil for one minute - stirring occasionally. Finally take the mixture from the sauce pan, blend it with your fresh coffee, and top it all off with whipped cream and there you have the perfect wintery coffee.

Christmas is quickly descending upon us and with only three weeks left until the end of term there really is no excuse not to get into the Christmas spirit and cook some festive treats! For a tasty Christmas inspired Library snack why not bake some cupcakes and decorate them all Christmassy? You can get recipes for cupcakes in any bakery recipe book or on the internet, but for those of you who would rather have it all in this article I’ve included it for you! There are loads of ideas on the internet for how to decorate cupcakes for Christmas but here’s one of my favourites! It takes a good afternoon but it’s worth it in the end!

Mince pies

Festive Party Punch

1/2 pot of coffee (about 5 cups) 1/4 cup sugar 1 cup water 1/8 cup unsweetened cocoa 1/8 teaspoon cinnamon Whipping cream for topping

in 3. Add the egg, vanilla extract and remaining milk and beat until the mixture is extra smooth. Don’t overmix though! 4. Spoon the mixture into the paper cases until two-thirds full and bake in the preheated oven for 20–25 minutes, or until light golden and the sponge bounces back when touched 5. Leave the cupcakes to cool slightly in the tray before turning out onto a wire cooling rack to cool completely

Decoration

Frosting Ingredients: · 250g icing sugar, sifted · 80g unsalted butter, at room temperature (‘lurpak’ is better because it makes the frosting more white) ·25ml milk · a couple of drops of vanilla extract · Fondant icing and food colouring (whatever colour you fancy for the scarves and black if you feel creative and feel like adding a hat!)

Method

1. Beat the icing sugar and butter together (or use a handheld electric whisk) until the mixture comes together and is well mixed.

2. Add the milk and vanilla extract and beat thorughouhly until mixed. 3. Continue beating until the frosting is light and �luffy, at least 5 minutes. 4. When the cupcakes are cool pipe or spread the frosting on the cupcakes... don’t spread it too smooth, you want it to look like snow so it’s more authentic if it’s more rustic and rugged! 5. For the snowman face and scarf you need some fondant icing. Roll some white icing into a ball for the face and make a thin strip for the scarf. You can either use food colouring to colour the scarf or use edible ink to ‘colour it in’ (food colouring is probably cheaper so that would be the more student friendly option!). 7. For the nose you need a bag of jelly tots! To make the jelly tot stick to the fondant you’ll need to use a drop of water but not too much! No-one likes a soggy cupcake! 8. To make them extra Christmassy you buy edible glitter and decorate, but that’s just an option if you’re feeling like splashing out and your loan has managed to last this long!

Christmas pudding It’s traditionally a love/hate dessert, but it is a tradition after all and it may give you that Christmassy feeling. It won’t be as great as the one your nana usually makes, but there are numerous supermarket options that aren’t that bad, with ASDA selling a huge option for £5.50.

Why not celebrate Christmas day early and have some Bucks Fizz in your predrinks? The traditional mix of orange juice and sparkling wine will put your �inal nights out of the year into holiday mode. You can get a cheap and tasty option at ASDA, who sell their own brand of the famous Fizz for just £2 per bottle.

Gingerbread Is there any more Christmassy taste than ginger? OK, so it’s not as traditional a Christmas treat as mince pie or �iggy pudding, but you can get delicious gingerbread men at Gregg’s for £1 in packs of three. Or if you buy Pret’s £1 option they donate 25p to charity.

Cadbury’s Selection Box The best christmas treat - always a classic and Tesco is selling it for a bargain at £1! Evelina Malteson

THE COURIER Monday December 5 2011

lifestyle

thecourieronline.co.uk/lifestyle c2.lifestyle@ncl.ac.uk

Banish those winter blues Fed up of those long, dark mornings and the evenings creeping in so early? Sarah Welsh might know why you’re feeling down this winter...

Shorthand

Pagan Society

Who? The Pagan Society I didn’t even know there was one of those at Newcastle. Well now you do- and before you make too many quick assumptions… Yeh, yeh a bunch of devil worshippers sacri�icing animals don’t tell me. Actually I will- and you’re wrong. Never. Today’s the day my friend. The Pagan Society, set up this year, is a small but augmenting group of Pagans who meet up to share their views and, soon, do some activities and trips. And let’s just get some de�initions straight: Firstly ‘Pagan’ is an umbrella term for a huge variety of polytheistic, often ancient and nature-based or non-mainstream religions… Wow. Why do I keep on thinking of Lord of the Rings or something equally other-worldly. Maybe because you’ve watched too much of it. Otherwise I’m not sure, best not broadcasted over The Courier though… anyway the society should (once everyone’s paid up) be fully rati�ied, with 15 members. It’s already got the backing of The Pagan Federation, which campaigns, among other things, for Pagan rights. Such backing also means discounted membership for those involved in the society… What if I’m not Pagan- but interested? Then for goodness sake go along to a meeting, check out the facebook page (Newcastle pagan soc) and just get involved. There’s reading lists on the page, to help you understand more, and some links to other pages which cover various ‘paths’ of thinking. ‘Paths’? As aforementioned, ‘Pagan’ could refer to religions based in Celtic, Viking or other traditions. The main thing is there are many to be discovered, and, again, none which involve any of the traditional misconceptions- devil worship or live sacri�ice. Okay but surely there are some sorts of rituals? No smoke without �ire hey…. Yes there are- funnily enough the ‘�ire’ or ‘yule’ festivals are upon us this Christmas. But nothing sinister- they’re planning some ‘open circles’ which anyone can go along too, so the sceptics amongst you can see for yourself. I’ll be there. Fab. There are also plans for trips to Heritage sights and the Stone Circles of Northumberland Cumbria. How adventurous. So can anyone join? In a word, yes. ‘There do tend to be trends of people who get involved- those who already have an ‘alternative’ approach to life’- and apparently there’s a large overlap with the Rock society. ‘But there are those who you might describe as more ‘mainstream’ too.’ You mean normal… A short-sighted view don’t you think? ‘Often people who are not really religious become interested- or have found that more prominent religions, such as Christianity, don’t work for them.’ The society is as much as about letting Newcastle know what Paganism is about as much as it is for Pagans themselves- so have a look, even if it is only to enhance your understanding; you never know what you might discover. Nonie Heal

How to cope with SAD

What is SAD? Seasonal affective disorder, also known as SAD, the winter blues or seasonal depression, is a well-recognised mood disorder. Affecting around 2 million people in the UK and 12 million people across Northern Europe, SAD is a type of depression that has a seasonal pattern. It is less common in countries near the equator where there is more hours of bright sunlight throughout the year.

There has been signi�icant evidence over the past few years that SAD sufferers respond to light treatment. This involves exposure to an arti�icial light box, which gives off bright light that mimics natural outdoor light. Light therapy is thought to affect brain chemicals linked to mood, easing SAD symptoms. Your doctor may recommend anti-depressant drug treatment or psychology therapy to help overcome your symptoms. It is therefore important to see your GP for proper medical advice.

How do I know if I have it?

5 top ways to beat it

Symptoms often include lethargy, lack of energy, and sleep problems, loss of libido, anxiety, irritability, weight gain and low mood. The presentation of SAD differs from person to person, so it is always important to consult your doctor if you are experiencing symptoms of SAD in order to rule out any other conditions.

What causes SAD?

During the winter months, there are fewer hours of daylight and we often have dark gloomy weather. This causes changes in our circadian rhythm; meaning our “body clock” is out of sync. Consequently, our mood, sleep, wake, appetite, digestion and energy are disturbed. Sunlight affects the level of certain brain chemicals (serotonin) and hormones (melatonin), which are known to affect mood. Hence, less sunlight in the winter

Ask Uncle Buck

1) Keep active As always, exercise is essential to keep your body happy. Something as simple as a daily walk in the park is enough to �ight off the winter blues. 2) Eat healthily Comfort food is always appealing in the cold dark winter months. Yet, by eating a balanced diet and not over-indulging will help keep your mood elevated, energy levels up and stop you putting on those extra Christmas pounds. 3) Meet with family and friends If you’re feeling low, friends and family are the best therapy. Socialising and talking with others improves mental health and will lift your spirits. 4) Get out more! Getting as much natural daily light possible is a great way to prevent SAD. 5) Take up a new hobby Keeping your mind active has been shown to alleviate symptoms of SAD. Whether it is a new sport or writing a blog, it will help to have something to look forward to and concentrate on.

Unwelcome callers, sleeping in and housemates with laughter that makes you squirm more than when watching Misﬁts with your parents? Don’t worry, nothing helps more than a bit of electroshock therapy, advisors The Courier’s resident Uncle My housemate has the most annoying repertoire of laughs I think I’ve ever heard. Sometimes he sounds like a giddy vole; other times it’s a braying ‘heHA’, or worst of all a foghorn bellow. What can I do? He keeps me up all night with his laughter, and it’s driving me mad. I have to say, I have an enormous degree of sympathy with your housemate here. I too used to have an annoying laugh: a glottal catastrophe that sounded like a donkey being attacked with a nail gun. Fortunately I got my laugh sorted out, back in the days of proper doctors and proper cures. For some reason people are squeamish about

electroshock therapy these days though. If you don’t have a spare car battery lying around, write to my fan club and I’ll send you a lea�let on how to perform a full laryngectomy using only a bulldog clip, three pipe cleaners and a biro. It’s easy, fast, and fun! I keep oversleeping and missing my 9am seminars. I’m getting it in the ear from my tutor, but I can’t help it – it’s just too hard to wake up! Do you have any tips to help me?

Personally, I employ exquisite boys to rouse me at 8 o’clock daily, but this may be slightly out of your price range. On my trips abroad with the Foreign Of�ice I was often unable to bring Orlando and Paris with me, and as such had to make alternative arrangements. The technique which yielded the best results was to ingest a recipe known as ‘the Kraken’: eight double espressos, two pints of Londis’ own energy drink, and a �istful of pep pills which are only legal in Venezuela, blitzed together and served over ice and with a tiny paper umbrella. This usually kept me up for between eighty and ninety hours straight, thus avoiding the hassle of sleeping altogether.

A guy from my course who lives in another block keeps turning up at my door unannounced. He’s a decent enough bloke, but I hate having my evenings disrupted by having to entertain him for a few hours. However, it might make things awkward if I just tell him to stop coming around, and I’m going to be around him for the next three years. What should I do? Assuming you’ve tried the time-honoured ‘Hit the �loor, be very quiet and ignore the knocking’ tactic (A.K.A. the Jehovah’s Witness Defence), then you may have to take more drastic measures. A death certi�icate is surprisingly easy to get hold of – I can knock you one out for thirty quid, if you’re interested – and once this kid’s convinced you’re dead I imagine he’ll stop calling for you. You’d best do it properly though. Organise a funeral, bus in relatives from across the country, notify the local press of your imminent demise, and prepare to spend a few days lying perfectly still in a chapel of rest. It might sound like an effort, but it’s obviously much easier than having to talk to another human being.

THE COURIER Monday December 5 2011

lifestyle

Lifestyle Editors: Olivia Mason and Ben Parkin Online Editor: Emma Balter

IanJonesPennyPincher IanJones

Celebrating Christmas on a budget (Part 1)

Don’t go Christmas shopping

It may just be incredibly tempting to get yourself down to the Metrocentre one morning and spend a day splashing out on presents for family and friends, but before leaving the house, take a minute to consider your other options. Not only are you going to end up paying higher prices than you’d �ind on the internet, but Christmas shopping on impulse like this with temptations in every shop window is very inef�icient. Using high street shops for inspiration, then buying gifts online is a far better way to �ind the best prices. Megashopbot.com is a brilliant resource for �inding the best prices available from all the major online retailers for books, electronics, perfumes and virtually anything else. However, to ensure deliveries are made before the big day, start your online shopping soon!

It’s better to be creative than costly

A lot of couples will set a price limit when

Review The Spice Cube

The Spice Cube is an Indian restaurant on the second �loor of the Gate complex - or if this makes it clearer, opposite Nandos. The striking red and black decor creates a warm atmosphere, complemented by the aroma of the ‘Winners of the 2010 British curry awards’. ould have it, my visit to The Spice Cube coincided with their ‘Gourmet Buffet’ which is a mere £7.95 on Saturdays and Sundays between 12pm and 5pm. This magni�icent spread included poppadoms, chutneys, starters, salads, main courses, side dishes, rice, breads AND desserts. There was more than enough to choose from, and I could not help but have second and third helpings of such delicious food. My friend chose to have the Chicken Jalfrezi and rice and her massive portion was full of rich �lavours that accompanied one another perfectly. Ideal portion sizes for a student as a trip to the Spice Cube could be combined with a light sandwich for tea - you really get your money’s worth. The Spice Cube was noticeably popular with work do’s which made a lively atmosphere. Although the prices are not appropriate for everyday student living, the Spice Cube is undoubtedly a point of call for birthday celebrations or when your parents visit. On the other hand, it could make for an alternative night if combined with a cinema trip which is located just on the �loor above. If you consider the cost of pre-drinks, taxis and clubs, �inancially it works out equal, if not better. Plus this way you don’t have to shout in order to be heard by your friends and you end the night feeling satis�ied. Emily Rae

buying for each other at Christmas. The problem most people have with this is that it can feel restrictive when forced to stick to a budget. My girlfriend and I usually agree to set a fairly low price limit for each other and make more personal gifts for each other instead. Last year for example I made a cookbook from the recipes we’ve used together. Though we’re beyond the age where a collage of rice and pasta stuck to a paper plate constitutes an acceptable gift, there’s still plenty of mileage in homemade gifts. If you’re really stuck for personal ideas then remember that pictures are always both appreciated and personal.

to be practical. Spending £10 on a token gesture to a work colleague at Christmas and getting a box of sweets worth a tenner back essentially boils down to you spending £10 on something you neither needed nor particularly wanted.

Remember to stay safe Illustration: Jenny Dodsworth

Be realistic before being altruistic

Every person reading this will have received dozens of presents in the past that have sat unused or unworn forgotten in bedrooms, before being forgotten about completely. Though the old idiom says that when buying a gift, you should get something that the recipient would never buy for themselves, it’s always safer

How to get spicy Location: The Gate Newgate Street NE1 5TG

Booking Line: 01912221181 Website: www.thespicecube. com Hours: Mon-Fri: 12pm2.30pm and 5.30pm to 11.30pm. Weekends: 12pm11.30pm

Burglaries and break-ins will soar over the Christmas period, so be sure to leave your house. If you do have insurance, then make sure to use all security available, this includes locking your bedroom door, or you may not be covered against the worst. For those of you who never got round to purchasing insurance, then for the next few weeks make sure that all valuables and gifts are at least well hidden before leaving the house.

MattAspin StudentSupper Chocolate Yule Log As Christmas is drawing closer and winter festivities are getting under way, it seems a �itting time to introduce what can be considered a classic in the world of traditional Christmas food. This recipe is simple with no frills, but nevertheless delivers a delicious Yule log that outperforms any shop bought variety by a mile! A ‘buche de Noel’, as it is called in France, �inishes the traditional French Christmas meal, so why not go home to your families and suggest this as an alternative to the famous Christmas Pudding, or as a centrepiece to any yuletide buffet! Get a bit of practice in before you venture home for Christmas, and give this a go. Don’t worry if it doesn’t look perfect – what’s lost in appearance will be more than made up for in taste! Ingredients:

75g self raising �lour 50g cocoa powder 1 tsp baking powder 5 eggs 100g caster sugar 40g raspberries 350g chocolate spread (nutella or similar) 275ml double cream Cooking Instructions:

1. Preheat your oven to 180°C/ Gas Mark 5. In a large mixing bowl, whisk together the eggs and sugar until the mixture is �luffy and thick – this will take about 5-10 minutes. 2. Meanwhile, sift the cocoa powder, �lour and baking powder into the eggs and sugar, and fold together, being careful not to knock out too much air. 3. Pour the mixture into

What’s Hot The Turner Prize

Don’t miss your chance to see a variety of British contemporary art on display at the Baltic. Entry is free.

Durham day trips

Only a 15 minute train ride away, spend the day in this quaint town exploring the castle, cathedral, and markets.

‘It’s a Wonderful Life’ at the Tyneside Cinema

Starting December 10th, enjoy this classic Christmas �ilm on the big screen at the charming Tyneside Cinema.

Bad Christmas Films

a rectangular tin, and place in the oven for 10-12 minutes. 4. Whilst the sponge is cooking, make the chocolate �illing. In a bowl, mix together the chocolate spread and double cream until you have a thick, yet spreadable sauce. Add more cream if it becomes too stiff. 5. Remove from the oven, and after having let the sponge cool for a few minutes out of the tin, begin to spread the �illing onto one side of the sponge. Add some of the raspberries. 6. Carefully, roll the sponge to form a log shape. Cover the top with the remainder of the �illing, and add a few raspberries to the top. Dust with icing sugar or �lour.The sauce contrasts nicely with the �ish, creating a sharp yet creamy �lavour that will have you taking another bite within seconds! It’s also good to note that these sandwiches are immense hangover cures, and provide you with a lunchtime treat that won’t fail to gratify!

Stick to the classic this Christmas season and avoid sequels such as The Santa Clause 2 & 3.

E4’s Sorority Girls

Although humorous, the American sorority girls’ attempt to turn a group of Leeds girls into true ‘sisters’ is also cringeworthy.

Decreasing daylight

You know winter is here when it gets dark at 4.30pm, so take advatage of the sunlight when you can.

What’s Not Alexandra Carr

THE COURIER Monday December 5 2011

lifestyle

My ﬁrst ever Christmas Ridhu Bhatia

Christmas: it’s a time for family, for miracles, and for snow; at least that is what the books and movies told me. Living in India my whole life, I celebrated many festivals but Christmas was not on the top of the list. Yes, I did decorate my tree every year and we had a bon�ire in my garden on Christmas Eve, however, Christmas, as a concept, was fascinating, but also very foreign to me. This year I’m in England and can happily say I will be celebrating my �irst Christmas ever! For people born here and those who have been celebrating the holiday all their lives, it’s still a time for joy and cheer; imagine for a ‘Noel novice’ how fascinating it all must be. Seeing the Christmas lights, the decorations, the nativity scene, it is all so wonderfully new. I almost feel like Alice, and Newcastle is my Christmas wonderland. Every year as soon as November began I started getting the ‘feel’ of festivity and the �irst thing I did was put my Christmas playlist on repeat. Silent Night, Joy to the World, and even White Christmas helped me form this picture of what the holiday would be like and now all those images coming true, (except the snow of course, I’m still waiting!). The day I saw the Christmas decorations in the Fenwick’s window I became so overjoyed that words could not describe my feelings. Out of sheer excitement I bought a string of colourful lights and hung them on my window. I turn them on everyday and I like to think they are spreading the cheer; people tell me they can see my lights from the courtyard and it makes them happy. Thanks to my new friends here I learn things about Christmas every day. I’m sure most of you would have enjoyed your advent calendar as kids, but it’s the �irst time I have ever come across such a thing and I think it’s a wonderful way to countdown the days to Christmas. Another thing that fascinates me is the Christmas market. I know it will be hard for people to believe but I don’t know what Christmas pudding tastes like, I have never eaten a candy cane and I have never brought Christmas presents for anyone! I did receive chocolates for Christmas from Santa Claus when I was young enough to believe he existed, but that’s about it. My Christmas, for a long time consisted of Christmas movies, putting up lights all over my garden and visiting my Christian teachers and friends to get a piece of Rum cake. That’s what Christmas was like to me and I enjoyed it to the fullest. In India we have innumerable festivals and each one has a special meaning. Every one of those festivals brings the family together and there is always food, wine, and rejoicing, but the ‘Christmassy’ feeling is completely different. You might say it’s the movies that cause this, but whatever it is, it’s good, nice and I am so glad that I am experiencing what Christmas really is. It’s like my very own Christmas movie!

thecourieronline.co.uk/lifestyle c2.lifestyle@ncl.ac.uk

Knitting up a storm

Lauren Cordell shows you how to save money on that perfect Christmas gift Think knitting and you may think of an anachronistic pastime of yesteryear that you primarily associate with your Gran. But, as I found out this week, knitting has made a comeback and in a big way. It all started in New York City back in 1999 when Debbie Stoller set up the �irst stitch’n’bitch; (that’s a social knitting group to you and me), usually held in a cafe, bar or pub where enthusiasts come along and simultaneously partake in both activities. Four years later she published Stitch `n’ Bitch: The Knitter’s Handbook, which gave readers step-by-step instructions on how to pick up the hobby. The book quickly became a bestseller and the craze promptly turned global. Since then, several celebrities have been papped getting in on the act, including Sex and the City girls, Sarah Jessica Parker and Kristen Davies. Aswell as Cameron Diaz and even Russell Crowe, (yes, knitting can be for boys too). Completely out of the loop on the knitting trend, I thought it was about time this novice knitter discovered what all the fuss was about. Although Newcastle now boasts several stitch’n’bitch groups that welcome new members, including a gathering at the Tyneside Cinema every other Tuesday from 7pm and Miss Spiritual Tramp’s Knitting Circle every Tuesday at the Bridge Hotel from 7-9pm; I decided to stay home on a particularly miserable Wednesday evening and start learning to knit with some Youtube self-teach tutorials instead. Following How to Knit - The Basics and practicing with string on two pencils I got far too excited when I managed to cast-on (attach the string to one pencil) and then transfer onto the second pencil to complete the second row of stitches. I could already feel that the repetitive movement of stitching was somewhat therapeutic

and to my excitement my creation even resembled real knitting. However, with no intentions of making an uneven scarf for my teddy bear, I felt ready to move on to the next step; buying real wool and knitting needles. The next day I went down to Grainger market where I picked up both for just over £3 – what a bargain! I decided to go with the thickest wool they had with the thinking that chunky knits are not only a timeless winter classic but that thicker wool would surely mean less stitches. I was advised that the thicker the wool, the bigger the needles you should use and the staff helpfully showed me the appropriate size. Also, with Christmas already seemingly everywhere, I’d started to worry about getting Christmas presents so I chose a neutral navy colour with the hope that if my handiwork was good enough I could perhaps make it into a gift. The sales assistant told me that making a scarf would be the easiest introduction to knitting, so I followed her advice and headed home to begin. After a quick recap with my youtube instructor, I managed to cast-on and complete the �irst three rows of my scarf-in-progress without dropping a stitch. It turned out to be much easier with the proper equipment and I soon lost a couple of hours knitting whilst watching some catch-up TV. Later, I realised that as I was listening to some Rihanna my knitting was speeding up to match the rhythm of the music and the satisfaction of seeing my work progress was strangely addictive. By Sunday, my scarf had grown exponentially: turns out I had been rather ambitious on the number of stitches per row and my scarf was becoming a shawl (note to self: determine the width by stretching out the wool not scrunching it together!). Nevertheless, I was optimistic

How to knit 1

Learn how to cast on �irst! The best places to get advice for this is online through videos on Youtube

Next, draw the yarn through the stitch with your right needle point

about �inishing it in the near future, at least before Christmas, something I never would have imagined a week ago. So, is it really worth learning to knit? Well, I’d de�initely recommend it if you are a typical penny-less student like myself and spend a fair amount of time chatting to friends or watching TV. You can buy your wool in Grainger market, charity shops or even recycle old yarn, and not only make your own unique clothes exactly how you want them, but at a fraction of the price you would have paid for the mass-produced alternative. In addition, you can put your knitting skills to good use by making your loved ones Christmas presents. The love and attention that goes into homemade gifts always makes the recipient treasure them much more, and importantly, it’ll save you money. I think that helps explain knitting’s present popularity: in an era bursting with Primarkstyle consumerism, knitting is not only the antithesis of a wasteful lifestyle but economically advantageous. So shrug off any ideas that knitting is a cast off of a bygone era and see how much money you could save this winter.

Lifestyle brings you the starting steps to producing your very own knitted creations

Hold the needle with the cast-on stitches in your left hand. Insert the point of the right needle into the stitch closest to the end of your left needle.

Slide the �irst loop off of the left needle and onto the right, creating a new stitch on your right needle

With your right index or middle �inger, bring the loose yarn under and over the point of the right needle

Repeat the above steps until all stitches from the left needle have been moved to the right

THE COURIER Monday December 5 2011

sex&relationshipslifestyle

Lifestyle Editors: Olivia Mason and Ben Parkin Online Editor: Emma Balter

Blind Date

Chris Ronan, 3rd year Natural Sciences, meets Sally Priddle, 3rd year Politics, Philosophy and English Literature

Sally on Chris First impressions? Chris was lovely. He gave me a hug and managed to put up with my very mature house mates who stood at the top of the stairs to get a good look. He had booked a taxi for us and made me feel immediately relaxed in what could have been an awkward situation. What did you talk about? Pretty much everything we could think of; our course, favourite night outs, friends, families and ideal dates. Chris has an older brother and I have an older sister and it turned out we had a similar case of younger sibling syndrome that we bonded over. Any awkward moments? Most of the awkward moments were created by other people, but Chris managed to put me in the wrong taxi on the way into town and when we got into the right taxi we had a very awkward conversation with the taxi driver where he told us not to go to Beyond on a Friday as it was where black people went and they would steal your women. We also discovered that you shouldn’t go to Players on a Friday night either as a middle aged Geordie woman vomited all over the �loor a metre away from where we were sitting. Chris also made an awkward joke about having an Irish surname when he is Welsh. Anything in common? It turned out we had a lot of friends in common, as well as a mutual love for Scrubs, which I possibly inappropriately quoted. Chris had a very similar sense of humour to mine which helped as we both managed to tip our drinks down ourselves throughout the evening, a classy moment for both of us. Best thing about them? The best thing about Chris was how easy it was to talk to him and he seemed completely unphased by my embarrassing stories and moments of idiocy that occurred throughout the evening. He also rocked out some pretty good dance moves in Sinners that impressed both me and my friends. Did you go anywhere afterwards? We had a date bar crawl, starting in As You Like It, then heading to Players and ending in Sinners where I was meeting my friends.

Would you introduce them to your house mates? Poor Chris didn’t have a choice; my house mates were out in force in Sinners and did me proud by embracing Chris into their manic night out. Although, I would de�initely introduce him to them sober too.

Did you want to go in for a kiss? We kissed goodbye at the end of the night, but what else do people do in Sinners?

Would you meet again? Chris was really easy to get on with, and although I was nervous at the beginning he made me relax instantly and I am determined to drag him into the pit of shame that is ‘chin the bin’ and introduce him to my love for CCTV. Marks out of 10? 8 out of 10

Chris on Sally First Impressions? I was greeted at the door by a very warm welcome from Sally and the seven other girls giggling on the stairs. My �irst impressions of Sally were good; she looked lovely and it was apparent that she had made an effort after Facebook stalking me.

What did you talk about? Talk started with housemates who had gathered to bid us farewell. With Matt Willard, Saul Gabriel, Dan Ebeling to see us off, it acted as a good icebreaker. After that, talk �lowed well and we discussed pretty much everything. I was surprised by how much we had in common, especially embarrassing antics fuelled by booze. Any awkward moments? Not too many, and what awkward moments there were we managed to laugh off. The most awkward moment was a particular taxi driver who gave us several warnings about heading to the Gate, but other than that the night went �ine.

Anything in common? I was surprised by how much we had in common, as I said before. We had mutual friends, a mutual love of cocktails and lots of embarrassing stories to share!

Best thing about them? She was easy to talk to. It really avoided any awkward situations and made the night feel comfortable.

Did you go anywhere afterwards? After taking her to As You Like It for cocktails, Sally insisted on her favourite location: the terrace of Players! At �irst I was apprehensive, but noticed the location gave us much to discuss, especially after a rotund lady next to us decided to chunder everywhere! From here we moved onto Sinners where I leapt into the cage to show off my Carlton Banks dancing style.

Would you introduce them to your housemates? Yes I would, maybe our houses could have a mutual ‘chin the bin’. Although, it would be best to choose the same night as Luke Sandler’s blind date, to avoid any awkward situations…

Did you go in for the kiss? There must be something about Sinners that brings out my romantic side… probably the trebles!

Would you meet them again? We got on well enough, and I would meet up again for another friendly drink. Marks out of 10? 8 out of 10. The date went smoothly and I had a great time.

Tashin’ on in the Toon

Victoria Mole For a relationships columnist I’ve spent a lot of time writing about what it’s like to be single. My experiences of relationships have never made it into ‘serious’ territory and so my knowledge of them has been attained only by living vicariously through friends, and, thanks to the brutally uncensored spread of ‘dirty laundry’ gossip, many of my acquaintances too; which brings me to that timeless question that every student has asked themselves: is it better to be single or in a couple? This is an extremely complicated argument; every possible side of it has been covered by many a rom-com and terrible ‘90s pop song, (I lie, most ‘90s pop songs are brilliant). There will be times when freedom is fantastic; you can go out wearing exactly what you want, you can talk to exactly who you want, and no one will be there to start unnecessary arguments with you. When you’re single (and don’t have children or a cat), your life doesn’t have to cater to anyone else’s happiness but yours. You can make plans without being restricted by something like where someone lives, or whether they prefer Pizza Express to Nando’s - if you want chicken, you’re having chicken. And don’t even get me started on what you can spend your student loan (understood more widely as disposable income) on when your most signi�icant heart’s desire is a pair of patent Mary Janes! Remember, your feet would never judge you as being Scrooge-like or ‘too keen’ when you choose a present for them. We’re constantly being told that our time as a student will be the best of our lives. It’s worth thinking about, if you had a signi�icant other and should it end messily: all of the memories that include them might turn what would have been remembered as a stellar few years into something that’s painful to think of. We shouldn’t give ourselves more stress and commitment than we need to when we’re young, we have the rest of our lives to savour those joys! When all of your housemates are single, you get to enjoy the mystery behind events such as who’s responsible for the creaking bedsprings? Moreover the threat to start blaring ‘Sexyback’ when such noises are heard is not quite as fun to implement when it’s an actual couple. Being single is fun; being single and heartbroken is a horror. Most of us can think of someone that we’d love to be in a relationship with. Ultimately it stands that being in a couple is a later life goal for a lot of people and it’s that way for a reason. With Christmas around the corner, being single can feel lonelier than ever. The couples holding hands around the market are enough to make any singleton jealous - my festive handheld experience has been limited so far to my Blackberry in one and a Starbucks in the other. The euphoria of really falling for someone can be the greatest feeling you’ll ever have; it’s cheesily undeniable that loving one person in a million ways gives you more satisfaction than loving a million people in the same way. So, the verdict? With someone that genuinely makes you happy, being in a relationship’s wonderful. But for anything less? I think I’d rather stay a single pringle.

fashionshoot

THE COURIER Monday December 5 2011

thecourieronline.co.uk/fashion c2.fashion@ncl.ac.uk

Water way to

The Courier Fashion team spent a winter fashion at its most h the Uniâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s very own

Black bobble chullo/Oatmeal chullo/ Mustard beanie/Dark green cable scarf/ Red beanie/ Black beanie/Oatmeal scarf/Reindeer cardigan/ Furry animal eared trapper by Primark Grey striped scarf by River Island Black sleeveless jumper from Argentina Black and grey trapper/Blue striped scarf by H&M Grey striped trapper hat by Republic Marl grey scarf by Topman Newcastle United scarf from Newcastle shop Red and grey trapper by Fat Face Photography: Ben Parkin Directed by: Victoria Mole, Rosanna Sopp Stylist: Abi Heath Modelled by: Top row (left to right): Alexis Georgiou, Josh Baldwin, Tom Duncan, Mark Emilio Gabrielle; Bottom row (left to right): Ralph Baker, James Hillman, Michael Grantham, Stuart Mac Manus (Captain), Luke Watkins, Gordon Pearson, Terry Clarke, Tom Connolly

THE COURIER Monday December 5 2011

Fashion Editor: Victoria Mole Online Fashion Editor: Rosanna Sopp

o stay warm

a day ďŹ lled with wool, water and handsome, as modelled by n waterpolo team

shootfashion

THE COURIER Monday December 5 2011

fashion

fashionista etiquette being chic in all situations

Want to exude designer style without breaking the bank? Look no further: this guide presents easy and simple ways to transform your highstreet wardrobe into a treasure trove of couture clothing and designer-style must haves! Handbags to glad rags Adding a statement bag to any simple out�it will surely give it that much needed designer edge. In particular decorative clutches or chic box bags will most de�initely pull together a look of glamour and sophistication. Capsule collections Rather than imitating the fashion professionals why not wear their very own creations with designer capsule collections found in high street stores such as Versace for H&M, Matthew Williamson for Debenhams or up and coming London Fashion week designers such as Simone Rocha for Topshop. Fur to be fabulous Fur has once again been a popular trend on the winter catwalks with those such as Alexander McQueen showing it as the staple winter statement. You can add a little luxury and catwalk couture to high-street clothing by opting for fur trims, hats and stoles. Hosiery Wearing bold, patterned tights are a sure and simple way of pulling an outﬁt together to get instant designer glamour without the designer prices. Look out for Henry Holland’s unique and retro designed tights found in many high-street shops such as River Island, Topshop or New Look. One off wonders Head down to charity and vintage shops to pick up one-of-a-kind items that not only ensure fashion exclusivity but also a unique sense of style that will surely have others thinking your donning one-off garments of the highest quality. Vintage shops can also be great places to dig out classic designer garments from previous fashion lines that allow you to wear exclusive brands for second hand prices. Check out the chokers Bold choker necklaces are set to be the musthave accessory item of the winter party season as shown by those such as Donna Karen and YSL. In Topshop you can purchase their imitations of the chic and stylish bib collar necklaces. Coats couture A feature coat is a sure and simple way to dress up any basic outﬁt to give off a stylish appearance. In particular opt for jackets or coats with double breast gold button detailing or sheepskin hoods to obtain instant on-trend designer looks.

thecourieronline.co.uk/fashion c2.fashion@ncl.ac.uk

campusfashion fashion Susie May Beever

Hat: Wild (vintage shop) Coat: H&M Jumper: Topman Trousers: H&M Shoes: Vans, Schuh Bag: River Island

19, Huddersﬁeld Second Year English Literature Jacket: Miss Selfridge Top: Zara Scarf: H&M Jeans: Topshop Shoes: Zara

Idea behind your out�it? “Just whatever I had that was dry on the clothes line!”

Idea behind your out�it? “I didn’t really think about it, I only ever plan out�its if I’m going out.”

Favourite fashion statement? “I usually just keep it quite simple: jeans and a band t-shirt with a jumper..”

Favourite fashion statement? “I like wearing heels when going out because they improve your posture and can make you feel empowered.”

Fashion pet hates? “Skinny carrot and arc leg jeans, they don’t look good on anyone.”

Fashion pet hates? “Jack Wills, I hate it when people buy things because everyone else is wearing it and don’t like the idea of having someone else’s name on your clothes.”

Ben Travis

20, Nottingham Third Year English Lit & Lang Photography by: Yordanka Georgieva

On trend

winter knitwear and glitzwear

Time-less trends Despite the fast pace of fashion trends it’s important to make sure every fashionista’s closet contains classic fashion essentials such as the LBD or the untimely pair of jeans that will eternally be on-trend.

Topshop, £12.50

Miss Selfridge, £10

Topshop, £22.50

Urban Outﬁtters, £16.50

Accessorize your accessories Sometimes it’s all in the small details and by using accessories such as belts, hats or scarves you can create looks that are catwalk ready without having to splash out on a whole new outﬁt. Try adding a ribbon detail belt to a simple black skirt to recreate styles seen in Roland Mouret’s autumn/winter collection, or even try wearing a decorative knitted winter beanie á la Missoni. Hot heels No matter what the occasion adding a statement pair of heels will dress up any high-street outﬁt and ensure instant catwalk glamour and stylish appeal. Try out a pair of block heels in a bold colour found in shops such as New Look, River Island and Topshop to be right on target with the latest designer trends. Katie Robertson

New Look, £24.99

Primark, £12

Zara, £25.99

Topshop, £45 Styling and photography by: Amanda Old

THE COURIER Monday December 5 2011

Fashion Editor: Victoria Mole Online Fashion Editor: Rosanna Sopp

Kiss and make over romance and wardrobe raiding

stylingfashion

Have you ever wanted to burn your boyfriend’s football shirt or get your girlfriend to ditch the dangerously short mini dresses? Hannah Walsh interviews two long-term couples on their favourite and least favourite ensembles in each others’ wardrobes Jane Eastwood 20, Derbyshire, Second Year Maths and Psychology Aron Baksh 19, Wirral, Second Year Natural Sciences

Becy Farr 19, Wirral, Second Year Fine Art Luke Smith, 19, Wirral, Second Year Biology

How long have you been together? 6 months

How long have you been together? 3 years

How did you meet? During Freshers’ Week 2010

He loves...

Blazer: H&M Top: River Island Jeans: Levis Shoes: Asda Necklace: Present from Aron

Why? “The ou�it shows off her great curves, especially her bum- it looks great in the jeans. I also like that Jane looks smart but also casual with the blazer.”

How did you meet? Over summer when we were 16

He loves...

Dress: American Apparel Tights: Primark Shoes: Pop Boutique

Why? “I like the dress, it’s very classy and shows off her gorgeous �igure.”

She loves...

Shirt: Republic Trousers: Burton Shoes: Burton

Shirt: River Island Jeans: H&M Shoes: River Island

He loathes...

Hoodie: Bought on a BUCS ski trip to Tignes Top: Jack Wills Leggings: Asda Slippers: Fat Face

Belt: Pop Boutique Everything else: Various vintage shops around Liverpool

She loathes...

Hoodie: Leavers’ hoodie Joggers: Primark Trainers: Amazon

Top: JJB Joggers: H&M Shoes: Nike

Why? “I love this out�it because he looks smart and fashionable and it suits him so well. His bum looks really good in the trousers too!”

Why? “The colours in the clothes make her look a bit washed out and the jumper doesn’t accentuate her best assets. It doesn’t feel like she has put any effort in which is why I prefer her in the other clothes.”

Why? “He just hasn’t made an effort with the out�it and there is no shape to it. The trainers are too big and not the most attractive to say the least.”

Why? ““It is very rare that he wears a shirt, the colours suit him really well and the slim �it of the out�it emphasises his shape as opposed to hiding it under the baggy clothes.”

Why? “It is not a great out�it on the whole, it reminds me of a nurses out�it but not in a good way.”

Why? “He is wearing his usual attire and there is no shape to the clothes. It looks scruffy and the trainers are clumpy.”

listings5th-11thDec Monday

Tuesday Opera, passion and tragedy in Georgian Britain

MAD Week All week

Newcastle based charity The MAD Foundation help people in some of the world’s poorest countries to help themselves, by working with them at a grassroots level to develop much needed community resources. The founder, John Lawler attended Newcastle uni about 10 years ago and set it up whilst he was studying here. They have recently opened an office in the new Union building (in the basement by Subway) and to celebrate - this week is MAD Week! Monday kicks off with music, Christmas treats, hot chocolate and much more outside the Union! Look out for events throughout the rest of listings. www.madventurer.com

Newcastle Archaeology Society Guest Speaker 6pm Robert Boyle Lecture Theatre, Armstrong Building

Peter Francis, from the Commonwealth War Graves Commission, is coming to talk about the CWGC: its beginnings, purpose and relevance today. Peter Francis will also talk on the Fromelles Project; an archaeological and historical operation to identify 225 First World War soldiers. It is a mass burial site pertaining from one night, July19 1916; the Battle of Fromelles. Since May 2009 work began to recover the dead, an estimated 400 men, for individual reburial in a new military cemetery at Fromelles. This promises to be an extremely relevant and topical talk, particularly with the centenary of the First World War fast approaching. An event which will highlight the absolute importance of how we remember and the debate of memory in modern history. Yet, more significantly, how and why we need to keep alive in contemporary times a war that is no longer in living memory, but still continuously reveals its devastating magnitude.

Ocean Colour Scene 7pm O2 Academy Newcastle

From their days as Breton shirt-wearing disciples of The Stone Roses, to million record-selling Britpop superstars, Ocean Colour Scene’s story is inseparable from the greats of modern British rock. www.o2academynewcastle.co.uk

Stephen Fretwell 8pm The Cluny

Described as “Scunthorpe’s finest export... ever”, and having supported Travis, Elbow, Athlete, Keane and KT Tunstall, a Stephen Fretwell gig is not something to be missed. Get ready to mellow out and escape from the fuss of Christmas. www.thecluny.com

5.30-6.30pm Curtis Auditorium, Herschel Building

When Giusto Ferdinando Tenducci, castrato and celebrity, eloped with his teenage pupil, the tale of their scandalous marriage gripped Georgian society, as did the tragedy of where it all began: the castration of a boy in a remote hill town in Tuscany. Tenducci’s story throws light on eighteenth-century society: its artistic elite, its opera (both Mozart and Bach wrote for Tenducci), and the meaning of sex and marriage. www.ncl.ac.uk/events

Pressure Trade Inter-University Trading Competition 6.30pm Fell Cluster, Medical School Building

The event is for all students interested in financial careers (two hours long). Cash prizes, referalls and internship opportunities for top performers! Register for a place at www.pressuretrade.com, limited places! Any questions, please contact j.j.mathew@newcastle.ac.uk.

Legally Blonde

7.30pm (December 6-31) Sunderland Empire

For the first time ever, the West End and Broadway sensation, 2011 Olivier Award winner (Best New Musical) and winner of Best New Musical at the Whatsonstage.com awards, Legally Blonde The Musical goes on tour. Based on the hit movie starring Reese Witherspoon and starring award-winning actor Matthew Kelly and singer and MasterChef Liz McClarnon, it’s a show not to be missed! www.sunderlandempire.org.uk

Stand Up Christmas Comedy Nights 7.30pm As You Like It, Jesmond

Have the cold weather, runny noses and endless shopping lists got you down? Why not come along and dine at one of our famous comedy nights! Have a barrel of laughs and sample our stunning three course menu in our fabulous Frangipani function suite. Doors at 7:30pm, Dinner served at 8pm and Comedy 10pm til late £32.95 per person. www.asyoulikeitjesmond.co.uk

Wednesday

THE COURIER Monday December 5 2011

thecourieronline.co.uk/listings c2.editor@ncl.ac.uk

Thursday

Christmas market

Kasabian

The Christmas Market welcomes stall holders from closer to home. You’ll find beers from local breweries, home-made jams, delicious cakes and handmade chocolates. And once you’ve bought something scrumptious to eat, you can find special gifts such as scarves, leather bags, hand-thrown pottery, woolly hats and jewellery.

One of the year’s most eagerly awaited LP releases, Velociraptor!, was out on September 19 featuring stompers ‘Switchblade Smiles’ and ‘Days Are Forgotten’. The band have been wracking up those YouTube hits for the ‘Switchblade Smiles’ video, and ‘Days Are Forgotten’ has already been chosen as the soundbed for the new Sky Sports football season TV ad. www.metroradioarena.co.uk

Wed-Sun Monument

Newburn Park Tree Planting

7.30pm Metro Radio Arena

1-4.30pm Newburn Park

SCAN regularly visits the park to help rangers Gillian and Ken with whatever environmental jobs need doing. Previous activities have included pond clearing, tree planting, fence repartion and working in the sensory garden. This is a great chance to escape to the peace and quiet and get some fresh air whilst meeting new people and getting your hands dirty. Transport and equipment provided. FREE. www.nusu.co.uk/giag

Puppini Sisters MADmas Party! 8-11pm The Cluny 2

Join us for a Christmas themed night of musical acts, singers and bands! Tickets will be on sale for £6 on Monday December 5 and Tuesday December 6 outside the Union, and from The MAD Foundation office located by Subway on the bottom floor of the Union. You can also buy tickets on the door for £7.

8pm The Sage Gateshead

This 40s style, close harmony vocal trio, has an interesting mix of influences, from The Andrews Sisters and Marlene Dietrich, to Kate Bush and The Smiths. With a reputation for updated swing versions of pop hits and swing classics alike, expect some wonderful versions of festive favourites, covers and possibly even some Puppini Sisters originals in their unique blend of retro style, pop kitsch and crisp vocals. www.thesagegateshead.com

Europe’s Largest UV Paint Party 10pm-3am Students’ Union

Two years in the making, Extreme FX have created the ultimate UV paint party experience including paint explosions, paint lances, paint bazookas, cryogenic effects, confetti blasts, balloon drops, CO2 jets and CO2 cannons! For guestlist/tickets text 07590411252. Guestlist/ wristbands £6. www.facebook.com/MansionNewcastle

Hitch Society Information Meeting 5pm Students’ Union

Budget travel with a twist - take part in an epic sponsored hitch hike across Europe to either Croatia or Morocco!

Fund Raising

8pm Five Swans Pub

Kick Start your Link Community Development Fund Raising by coming along to our Christmas Fund Raising Social. Prizes for the best dressed!

A Victorian Christmas 7pm Gateshead Heritage Centre, Oakwellgate Back by popular demand! How did the Victorians celebrate Christmas? Join Malcom Grady, Anthea Lang and Edbie Wilson for an evening of Victorian prose, poetry and parlour songs plus, of course, audience participation!

Naked calendar party 10pm Madame Koos

Charity READ International launch their naked calendar tonight, put together with the help of some of the University’s sports teams and societies. Orders for the calendar can be made on the evening to be collected by the end of term or the beginning of January. Priced at £9, all proceeds go to charity.

THE COURIER Monday December 5 2011

5th-11thDeclistings

C2 Editor: Aimee Philipson

Friday

The Suggestibles Impro Panto 9pm Northern Stage

A pantomime with a twist - and not suitable for children! There’s no script and no score! The audience shouts out their suggestions as to what should happen, the actors improvise, change costumes and go with the flow! www.thesuggestibles.co.uk

Mighty Uke (+ Q&A and strum -along!) 6pm Tyneside Cinema

Mighty Uke travels the world to chronicle the amazing comeback of the ukelele. Bring your own Ukes along and take part in a strum-along after the show and meet the people behind the film.

Do you want your event in listings?

Email c2.editor@ncl.ac.uk with all the details and any photos you have by Monday 12pm of the week before the issue you want to feature in.

Something for the weekend Christmas Party Social

Emergency Door Release

Mens Bar, dinner and out in the mighty Toon! No more tickets so just get yourself down there on Saturday! www.madventurer.com

Like The Editors? Like Arctic Monkeys? Then Emergency Door Release might be right up your street! Based in Newcastle, they have their first gig at The Dog and Parrot on 10th December. The band are giving away a free CD to everyone that attends the gig (and wants one!) and it’s only £4 entry to see them and 3 other bands play. If you can’t make it, don’t

Saturday 6pm-3am Mens Bar

Christmas Arts and Crafts Market Saturday 12pm The Cluny, Ouseburn

Special Christmas arts and crafts market in the venue, from midday until 4pm. Free entry.

Culture Challenge: Photowalk Saturday Tynemouth

Join in a Christmas-themed ‘photowalk’ around Tynemouth in association with the Photography Society. There will be a short workshop followed by a photo competition.

Saturday 7.30pm Dog and Parrot Pub

The Saturday Show

The Stand Comedy Club 7.30pm High Bridge, Newcastle

It’s the biggest show of the week. Relax as our resident comperes lead the way with The Saturday Show. Featuring five different acts on each bill there’s something for everyone to laugh at including the very best comics from the UK and beyond. With Phil Nichol, Mark Nelson, Pat Burtscher and Nick Cranston. Hosted by Susan Calman. Hot food available in the club or arrive a bit earlier to try our fab pre-theatre menu in the upstairs bistro. www.thestand.co.uk

Charity Christmas Carol Concert Sunday 3pm Newcastle City Hall

Head down to Newcastle City Hall for a good old sing-a-long in aid of CLIC Sargent.

arts

The book that... made my childhood

Bonnie Stuart travels back to the Hundred Acre Wood to remind us why A.A. Milne’s Winnie the Pooh is still held dear by so many

Rum-tum-tiddle-um-tum...After much deliberation and argument amongst my housemates, I decided that A.A. Milne’s Winnie the Pooh has to be the most in�luential children’s story. It was the �irst book I ever received (on the day I was born) and I still have the same copy! Who could forget the lovable characters of Hundred Acre Wood embarking on adventure after adventure, helping Eeyore �ind a home, Pooh and Piglet’s hunt for a woozle, the expedition to the North Pole, and many more. First published in 1926, Winnie the Pooh has been handed down from generation to generation - even my Grandpa played pooh sticks! Each character embodies a particular attribute: Pooh is greedy, Eeyore is melancholic, Piglet is timid, and so on and so forth. But together they are able to overcome tricky situations, �inding Eeyore a home, discovering Tigger’s favourite food, and Pooh’s penchant for honey constantly needing to be ful�illed - don’t we all remember the ‘Hunny Song’: Isn’t it funny How a Bear likes honey? Buzz! Buzz! Buzz! I wonder why he does? It’s a very funny thought, that if Bears were Bees, They’d build their nests at the bottom of trees. And that being so (if Bees were Bears), We shouldn’t have to climb up all these stairs.

The stories and the characters are well-known and loved by so many people, even if they are only aware of the Disney version. At some point, most children will have given their teddies personalities and included them in their play pretend games, generally forming a very fond attachment. Winnie the Pooh embodies these childhood fantasies perfectly. As with many children’s stories, the lessons may only be truly appreciated once you get older. Despite the humorous anecdotes and escapades, Winnie the Pooh has some serious messages, reminiscent of Aesop’s Fables, and the moral messages are something to take away from the stories: “Friendship,” said Christopher Robin, “is a very comforting thing to have.” As a child, it was Pooh’s poems and songs and the constant conundrums he would �ind himself in that made me love the books, but as an adult it’s the nuggets of Pooh’s endless wisdom that in�luence my attachment to the book: “If the person you are talking to doesn’t appear to be listening, be patient. It may simply be that he has a small piece of �luff in his ear.”. If you haven’t read it recently, do so, and reignite your love for Pooh!

THE COURIER Monday December 5 2011

thecourieronline.co.uk/arts c2.arts@ncl.ac.uk

What a Korker

Arts Editor Sally Priddle ﬁnds illustrator Korky Paul’s childish side

orky Paul is the Zimbabweanborn illustrator, best known for his Winnie the Witch books - a staple of many of our childhoods. For those unfamiliar with Korky’s unique drawings, they are extremely detailed, full of visual jokes and witty detail. Korky studied a degree in Fine Art and started working for advertising companies after graduation. However, his heart belonged to creative drawing; he had always loved scribbling drawings and, through the advertising agency, he started doing a lot of work with children’s adverts, which �inally led him to publish a children’s pop-up book. Korky now has a studio in his hometown of Oxford that he describes as the largest and best room in the house, yet he still carries a sketch pad around with him. “I like to draw when I am waiting for a train or a plane; stations and airports are great places to draw because I can pretend to read and discreetly draw people and really capture them. It is great practice.” Korky spends a lot of time travelling and visiting countries all over the world as his books have been translated into over ten languages. He has just come back from visiting schools in China, and “although I had to have a translator, it does not matter where I go, children all over the world, no matter their culture, love the books. The stories travel and, for me, it is extraordinary to promote a passion for

Winnie the Witch © Valerie Thomas and Korky Paul, published by Oxford University Press © Winnie the Witch

drawing.” Korky’s love for children’s literature started when he was a child himself, and when I ask him what books he read as a child he tells me enthusiastically about the Just So stories, which are all set in Africa, Just William, and particularly the Struwwelpeter which were moral stories that graphically told children stories about things like not sucking your thumb and not being racist. “It was hard to get books where I grew up, but the ones we had, we loved. I also read lots of American comics - Marvel and DC. I wish I still had them as they would be worth a lot of money today.” Korky moved to England in the 1970s as, he says, he couldn’t cope with Apartheid. And although it was easy to be white, it wasn’t easy to be white and have a conscience. His African heritage has never left him, though: ”My biggest in�luence was my grandmother who was a fantastic artist and drew with simply pen and ink; we had loads of her pictures around our house.” I told Korky that I was going to �inish off

our interview with a few random questions and he laughed and said nothing I could ask him would be as random as the questions he gets asked by the children he speaks to. Obviously, I was intrigued and wanted to know the most random question he’d ever been asked. Amongst others, Korky mentioned: “Do you like climbing trees?” “How many times do you shower a day?” “Where did you get your pullover?” I then took it upon myself to ask him some of my random questions. What meal would you cook the Queen? “I would do her a daai, which is a South African barbeque; I would fry some seafood on the grill, maybe some octopus with just a bit of lemon and olive oil.” What is your favourite vegetable? “Does it have to be a vegetable? I am not a massive fan of vegetables, I prefer fruit, though if I had to pick I would go for Greek tomatoes. But I do love black �igs.” Clearly, Korky is as passionate about fun, life and colour as his illustrations are.

From Bethlehem to Beamish: a classic Christmas on your doorstep Online Arts Editor Lisa Bernhardt explores the festive magic of Beamish

t’s supposed to be the most wonderful time of the year, but during the annual early December stress of juggling last-minute deadlines and desperately brainstorming gift ideas, the magic of Christmas can get lost. And let‘s be honest: although most of us still spend the morning of December 25 in pyjamas whilst simutaneously trying to eat toast and open presents, the romantic edge of our childhood Christmasses can seem a distant memory. But Beamish offers us a fairy tale-like storybook Christmas (or at least the illusion of it) and is just a short train ride away. If you want to indulge in your fantasy of a good old-fashioned Christmas á la Charles Dickens’ A Christmas Carol, then Christmas at Beamish in Durham really is the place for you. Until January 2, the open air museum offers its visitors a journey back in time to experience Christmas during the Georgian, Victorian and Edwardian eras. Explore the authentically-decorated venues, take a tram ride or put on your skates to slide on the ice rink - the festive atmosphere of the 19th century will truly Christmas you out. Although the event is set in a pre-consumerist time, you don‘t have to pass up the Christmas shopping; the market stalls and shops offer a range of unique gifts that

you can browse whilst treating yourself to traditional food. On the evenings of December 9 and 16, the Beamish museum will be holding a Georgian twelfth night celebration, offering all the indulgences and trimmings to visitors. Although some may argue we’re a bit too old to visit Father Christmas in his grotto, this is really just a lie that parents deceive us with to stop us getting the fantastic free gifts! These events are sure to put you in a Christmas mood, so wrap yourself up in your favourite reindeer jumper and head down to Durham for Christmas as it should be - beautifully old-fashioned and full of roasted chestnuts! Christmas at Beamish runs from November 19 to January 2 and is open 10am to 4pm. Admissions vary depending on the day of the week; for more information visit www.beamish.org.uk/christmas-atbeamish

arts

THE COURIER Monday December 5 2011

Arts Editor: Sally Priddle Online Arts Editor: Lisa Bernhardt

Panto Guide 2011

reviews

Glass Slipper Northern Stage

December 28 - January 7 Tickets start at £9.50 A charming adaptation of the classic Cinderella story, incorporating silliness and extravagence with a Northern Twist.

Sleeping Beauty Theatre Royal

December 29 - January 21 Tickets start at £10.50 The classic story is taken to a new level with breathtaking special effects and the injection of pantomime magic and mayhem.

Dick Whittington Journal Tyne Theatre

December 9 - January 2 Tickets start at £10 Join Dick Whittington travelling to London to �ind his fortune. With music, mayhem, and the very evil Queen Rat.

A Twist in the Tale

Reservoir Gags The Venue Students’ Union December 28

A night of supremely well-dressed improv and a few too many ‘Jackson’s a paedophile’ jokes, Reservoir Gags brought us a line of nine men and one woman – all suited and looking extremely sharp. Comedy and cool rarely go well together but these people managed both smoothly. They took part in various quick�ire word games and effortlessly funny physical sketches: the speed and wit was thrilling to watch. It was just comic bliss - engrossing to watch, constantly surprising and, at just £3, incredible value. The stand up had a bit of everything - deadpan, crude and day-to-day ramblings; a tad long maybe, but some genuine laughs. John Pellam shone through as the main talent - brutally honest, with an awkward manner and spot on timing, which made for a very funny routine. I had been slightly wary of a night of amateur student comedy and, as I knew a couple of the guys performing, I was somewhat expecting to have to try and sound positive, one of those awkward – ‘Ahhha, so. Er, yeaah... interesting?’ – type conversations. Fortunately though, there was no need: the evening was brilliant.

Clare Deal

The Balance of Things

Patrick Monahan

Northern Stage November 23

The Stand November 22

From The Odd and The Balance of Things is a double bill of storytelling featuring folktales, fairytales and nursery rhymes. From The Odd was narrated by a rather eccentric man wearing a torchlight on his head, depicting a train journey where he meets a man crying about the lack of romance in his life. The narrator advises this poor soul, strangely, to “look in a skip”, which leads to a random reel of events including Greek Tragedy, the devil, scrabble, and trees that turn into beautiful women. The Balance of Things is narrated by a quirky, glittery-eyed fellow who imitates the voice of a chicken and acts as the fairytale’s protagonist. His repetitive clucking was well-received by the audience, who were fully engrossed in the bizarre tale unfolding before them. The story was a strain to follow at times, though, when the narrator stumbled and confused the character’s genders. It was interesting to experience theatre through the medium of storytelling, as opposed to plays, but I struggle to take anything too seriously that revolves around a talking chicken.

Mary Taylor

Although some of you may not know the name Patrick Monahan, after seeing his live performance at The Stand I would recommend that everyone pays close attention to this Middlesborough-born comedian as one to watch in 2012. Monahan took the crowd by storm, getting numerous people on stage and mocking them for every reason he could �ind, from drinking milk, to being from Sunderland, to the bleak prospects for us students. Possibly the best part of the show was when Monahan got a man from Sunderland on stage and demonstrated to the audience how to successfully enjoy a good spoon. His love for spooning was evident as it later led to a three-way spoon between himself, my friend and I; a truly legendary moment. Patrick entertained us by describing the joy of being in a couple, since it leads to unlimited hugs, which even the manliest of Geordies in the room admitted was true. For an evening of random but unbeatable entertainment, Patrick Monahan is the man for the job, demonstrating his truly playful and natural approach to comedy. Chris Scott

Live Theatre

December 18 -19 Tickets start at £4 Turning fairytales upside down. Is Cinderella really that innocent? Did Red Riding Hood have a crush on the Big Bad Wolf?

Cinderella People’s Theatre

December 10 - 18 Tickets start at £9 With Baron Hardup and the Ugly Sisters providing boos, and Buttons providing laughs, this is panto at its �inest.

Aladdin:The Panto 3D Newcastle University

December 4 - 6 Tickets are £6 Original material takes the extraordinary world of panto to the extreme, with Rahs, drink and ‘Banter.’

Shh... A Christmas Story

Sweeney Todd

Julius Caesar

Northern Stage Claremont Road

The Venue, Students’ Union November 20 - 22

The Venue, Students’ Union November 29 - December 1

“It’s good, it’s great…it’s gastronomically gratifying!” sings the bookworm, explaining the magical world of books to a little girl named Boo. Shh… A Christmas Story, presented by the Northern Stage, is the latest festive production for the whole family. Capturing the excitement of Christmas, the audience follows the story of a young girl called Boo whose dad works in the library, and has been falsely accused of damaging the books on Christmas Eve. Boo learns it is the Bookworm who has been eating his way through the books. She must therefore travel through different stories to catch the culprit before Christmas Day arrives. As the story begins the �irst �lakes of snow start to fall, followed by giant books, twinkly lights, penguin puppets, trains and even aeroplanes. There is even humour to entertain the adults, although a few also joined in with the snowball �ight against the cast! The small set provided an intimate atmosphere allowing the audience to feel part of this Christmas story.

Julia Woodhouse

One of the bloodiest musicals ever written: full of drama, murder and many, many pies. The small cast of performers captured and surrounded the audience instantly, beginning with a hauntingly eerie opening number. However, the stars of the show were Ben Hooper who played Sweeney Todd himself and successfully creeped me out enough that I hope I never meet him in a dark alleyway anytime soon. He was perfectly paired with the outstanding voice of Milly Falkner-Lee, who shone as the manipulative yet sensitive Mrs Lovett, making the high notes of ‘Nothing’s Going To Harm You’ look effortless. Despite being a graphic horror, the play also combines moments of sexual tension and laugh-out-loud comedy. Directors Joe Mills and Tom Pope used the new Venue space brilliantly, giving the audience a unique and creative performance of the well-known show. Combined with the live band, this performance really did start off the NUTS winter season in style. Sally Priddle

Although for some Shakespeare can be seen as out-dated, the NUTS production of Julius Caesar showcased a modern and energetic interpretation. Despite some awkward moments with props and exits of characters, there was a fantastic use of space and lighting, with the large cast regularly surrounding the audience, making them feel involved in the action. The use of a modern setting and clothing combined with original language also allowed the performance to resonate with the audience. However, credit and praise has to be given to the outstanding performance of Pip Brignall who played Mark Antony, transforming from a supporting role stood at the side of Caesar to an overwhelming leader who won the hearts of the masses. At times, however, the play seemed to drag with unnecessarily long build up to scenes. Overall, the production was well executed and performed; however there were aspects of the show that stopped it from being outstanding. Sally Priddle

THE COURIER Monday December 5 2011

musicreviews

5 reasons why... ... Nicola Roberts is the best Girl Aloud by roughly a billion miles 1) Well it’s not Kimberley or Nadine, is it? No, it isn’t. Not while Nadine worked with Boyz II Men on a cover of ‘Back for Good’ which was deemed not good enough for an album which limped into the charts at number 114. Not while Kimberley’s Wikipedia page features this sentence: “In May 2011, Kimberley Walsh was named as the new face of Right Guard’s Xtreme Dry Range”. Poor Kimberley. That’s possibly the saddest sentence I’ve ever read, and I’ve read Watership Down. 2) Or Sarah Harding. I have no idea what she’s been doing since the end of the group’s last tour, but if she’s anything like me she’ll have been sitting watching Pointless all day in her pants, checking on the later career of ex-Burnley superstar Graham Branch (the Scouse Rivaldo is now coaching West Kirby Panthers, if you were wondering) and pottering round Morrisons trying to fathom what the difference between ketchup and catsup is (still no idea). These are all activities which have done precisely nothing for the advancement of pop. If she’s not going to bother being a pop star, less deserving sorts will capitalise. Nobody wants Mike Posner getting his foot in the door. SORT IT OUT, HARDING. 3) Or Saint Cheryl, the patron saint of kicking toilet attendants in the face. Wor Cheryl has a fairly extensive rap sheet: allegedly racially motivated assault, two very dodgy albums and her insistence on employing Will.I.Am, thereby encouraging him to think he has something to offer humanity, are heinous to put it mildly. Add to that the charge of making Ashley Cole think that another human being could be capable of loving him, and you’ll understand why she should be run out of town by a pitchforkwielding mob. 4) Nicola is ace... Cinderella’s Eyes is a great album, a riot of different in�luences which pings and �izzes all over the pop spectrum. That ‘Beat of My Drum’ didn’t spend three months at number one is a pop travesty on a par with Dane Bowers and Victoria Beckham’s ‘Out Of Your Mind’. Apart from her assorted qualities, the fact that the professional cretin and walking antiobesity campaign Chris Moyles called her a “sour-faced old cow” is reason enough to root for her. 5) ...against all the odds. She is from Runcorn, a town I know all too well. If you’ve never been, ensure this description is the closest you ever come to it: numerous biological studies have suggested that the locals are genetically closer to reptiles than humans. The only amenities in town are the bingo hall and the theatre, where everyone goes to watch endless repeats of Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps and talk about the good old days when Ralf Little would occasionally visit the bingo hall. Her career isn’t just a victory for pop; it’s a victory for the human spirit in the face of the most unfortunate circumstances.

Thomas Nicholson

thecourieronline.co.uk/music c2.music@ncl.ac.uk

Talk That Talk

s it wrong to suggest that Rihanna is probably the hardest working woman in pop? Having just released the commercially successful Loud last year, whilst currently approaching the end of a near 100 date worldwide tour, she is now releasing her 5th LP - all at the age of just 23. Surely an album created in such a short time frame is lacking in any quality? Alas, being one of the most demanded singers on the music scene comes with its bene�its, in this case a team of highly demanded songwriters and producers, which allows Talk That Talk to become one of Rihanna’s most solid efforts yet. Talk That Talk combines the variety of genres that Rihanna has become renowned for in her past efforts, but ampli�ied to a whole new level. New single ‘You Da One’ is reminiscent of the island pop of ‘What’s My Name?’ but incorporates a slick dubstep bridge which will undoubtedly get stuck in your head. Clear highlights ‘We Found Love’ and ‘Where Have You Been’ are guaranteed club classics in the making, though

Walking Man - The Best of

Seasick Steve

In the few years since his somewhat unlikely rise to prominence on the festival circuit, Seasick Steve has become one of the premier ex-hobo/tramp/bum bluesmen working today. Walking Man collects the best material from his four solo albums, as well as earlier work with the Level Devils from 2004. The album covers quite a variation of style, opening with the stripped back delta blues of ‘Dog House Boogie’, showing just what can be done with a beaten up guitar and a wooden box to stamp on for percussion, yet songs such as ‘Happy Man’, collaborating with Ruby Turner and KT Tunstall, bring something of a more soulful sound to bear. There’s also plenty of balladry on offer, such as the title track, but it never dampens the energy of the album. There’s probably not a great deal here for dedicated fans, since there’s no new material on offer, though the inclusion of a live DVD probably goes some way to alleviate this. But for those new to Seasick Steve, or who just aren’t committed completionists there’s a lot of good songs here. Walking Man does what a ‘Best Of’ album should: it gives a decent overview of Seasick Steve’s career, not just the most recognisable or best-selling material, as well as constituting a great listen in its own right. Recommended download: ‘Dog House Boogie’

Ben Partridge

Talk That Talk is arguably Rihanna’s most cohesive effort yet, combining both radio and club friendly tunes that are sure to satisfy her ever-growing fan base

more thanks to Calvin Harris’ thriving synths over Rihanna’s vocals. Lyrically, sexuality remains a clear theme, with her demands of ‘suck my cockiness/lick my persuasion’ (‘Cockiness’) sure to please her ‘S&M’ fans. For all its high points, it’s clear the album could have bene�itted from more time. The inclusion of ‘Birthday Cake’ is strikingly odd, not only for its repetitive chorus of ‘cake, cake, cake, cake’ but more the abrupt ending just after one minute, serving as neither an interlude nor a separate song. Furthermore, despite the endearing message of ‘We All Want Love’ or the sexual coos of ‘Watch N’ Learn’ neither fail to build to anything too exciting. Overall, Talk That Talk is arguably Rihanna’s most cohesive effort yet, combining both radio and club friendly tunes that are sure to satisfy her evergrowing fan base. Despite feeling a little rushed in places, one point is made very clear: the Rihanna reign shows no sign of letting up any time soon, whether you like it or not.

Albums based solely around remixes, or to give them their proper name, cash cows, are dif�icult to love. For every amazing remix you can get (Four Tet’s remix of Born Ruf�ians’s I Need A Life), you get a sack full of horrible tunes that even your generic Sinners DJ wouldn’t play. This album of remixes from the Lady herself’s second album is exactly that. It’s like you’re dipping into your Halloween sweets a month later to �ind some sweets still edible and delicious among the manky gone off sweets. And these treats are mainly from the more left-�ield remix choices for a Gaga album. Wild Beasts and Metronomy take ‘Yoü And I’ and make it distinctly their own, Goldfrapp manages to turn ‘Judas’ into a 90s industrial track and The Weeknd takes ‘Marry The Night’ and plants his smooth, sexy lounge feel onto it. The biggest surprises come in the form of The Horrors’ remix of ‘Bloody Mary’, making a track that feels like it should soundtrack a vampire disco, and Two Door Cinema Club’s remix of ‘Electric Chapel’ turning into the ultimate guilty pleasure “aloneat-home” disco track. But other than those above, who’ve bumped their tracks up a few notches, the rest of the album is pretty mediocre, crappy club affair. Recommended download: ‘Bloody Mary (The Horrors Remix)’ Chris Taylor

Recommended download: ‘Where Have You Been’ Jordan Lebbern

Jupiter

Born This Way - The Remix

Lady Gaga

Rihanna

It’s like dipping into your Halloween sweets a month later to �ind some still edible and delicious among the manky ones

Starfucker

Portland, Oregon’s Starfucker (other equally rubbish monikers have included PYRAMID and Pyramiddd) have had a busy 2011, releasing this remastered version of the 2009 Jupiter EP hard on the heels of the full album Reptilians earlier this year. Jupiter’s characteristic sound is so fundamentally built around a four-to-the�loor disco groove it’s tempting to think Starfucker set a drum machine going and jammed around it for half an hour. When this is melded to the 8-bit stylings of the squelchy electronic melodies which sit atop the rhythms, it can be pretty special; ‘Medicine’ sounds something like a Gameboy bouncing around on poppers. A perky cover of ‘Girls Just Wanna Have Fun’ should be fun even if it’s not much of a departure from Cyndi Lauper’s version, but the anaemic, vague vocal style of singer Joshua Hodges prevents it from really catching �ire. However, while Starfucker have described their artistic aim as, “dance music you can actually listen to”, they fall rather short; the melodies fail to stick in the consciousness for very long, and on tracks like ‘Disco Face 2000’ they descend into a muddy mess. Their cause isn’t helped by, Hodges’ mercifully intermittent singing either. Jupiter ends up being very enjoyable in the moment, but somewhat forgettable. Recommended download: ‘Medicine’ Thomas Nicholson

THE COURIER Monday December 5 2011

featuresmusic

Music Editors: Ben Travis and Chris Scott Online Music Editor: Graham Matthews

Live: Rihanna

Newcastle Metro Radio Arena, November 27 We get it! You’re sexy. It’s a safe statement to say that back in 2009, Rihanna’s career was kicked into over-drive - and since then, the �iesty Barbadian mega-babe has released three albums within just as many years, including her newest release Talk That Talk.

In an evening of pole dancers, hair whipping, copious amounts of �lesh on display as well as onstage groping, one couldn’t help but feel that they’d accidently stumbled into a fetish pornography website. Despite this she puts on a decent show. When you’re actually close enough to read her tattoos you’re practically swim-

ming in a pool of ampli�ied oestrogen and drowning in the tears of die hard teenage fans. She opened the show in typically Rated R style with ‘Only Girl (In The World)’ wearing an out�it constructed of what must have been a piece of dental �loss and a box of Bassett’s liquorice allsorts. The energy was �lowing in raunchy fashion during fan favourites, such as ‘Disturbia’, ‘S&M’ and ‘Rude Boy’. At the three quarter mark she took the tempo down a notch to actually demonstrate the fact she can sing, with a beautiful rendition of ‘Unfaithful’. However, she didn’t play anything off the new album Talk That Talk besides the terri�ic closing number ‘We Found Love’. None the less it was a thrilling evening of skin, sex and fun.

Luke Hear�ield

Morning glory Not heard of Morning Parade yet? You soon will. This hotly tipped Essex band took some time out during their headline UK tour to chat to Maria Loupa as they ventured to the Toon for the very �irst time.

Frontman Steve Sparrow was friendly, approachable and modest when asked about the band’s work - at �irst glance, he didn’t give the same impression as his passionate on-stage persona. So... why “Morning Parade”? A lot of reasons! We wanted something to symbolize a fresh start - we all came from different bands and this was kind of a clean slate for everyone, and “morning” has this fresh meaning that we were going for. It also stands for all the early mornings we have to get up and travel to go to work, like we were joining the labour queue or something. Would you say that you are a rock band? Well, we are de�initely a rock band but we don’t play classic rock. We use elements of electronic, dance and cinematic music. We experiment with different sounds and rhythms, anything from Daft Punk to Radiohead. We base our songs on lyrics and melody, but we also use layering techniques to achieve the result we want.

SceNE: Cattle & Cane

Delving into the explosive North East music scene every week to bring you your new favourite local band.

Who are Cattle & Cane? A band from Teesside, made up of four siblings and a ‘friend’. How do you all know each other? Joe: Obviously, I knew my brothers and sisters from birth. I knew Paul from school though; in Year 8, he coaxed me into playing with him in a talent show. Paul: From then on, Joe always kept me informed of everything he did.

How long have you been together? About four years. I’ve known Phil since I was 11; he was the one who taught me how to play the guitar and I turned out to be better, so he switched to playing the bass! With Chad we were together in college, Ben and Andrew came later. We decided to get together and started jamming on Saturdays and stuff. Our music at the time was rubbish, our songs were 20 minutes long! What inspires you? Our inspirations are always changing.. We are inspired by what we see around us, you are always introduced to a different eye. I think our music is quite re�lecting, our �irst single is a proof of that. In what way is the new single, ‘Us and Ourselves’ re�lecting? We all try to get somewhere in life; no matter what we are doing, we are in a single journey, all in this together. It’s about looking to yourself and the world around us, like a universal kind of thing. Unfortunately some people don’t get our message, but that’s a risk you have to take; if you don’t get your feet in the challenge, you might as well say nothing. How was the experience of performing in all these high pro�ile

What have you done with the band so far? We’ve released two EPs, played at T In The Park and Evolution Festival. We’ve done alright so far. Summarise the band in �ive words Romantic. Anthemic. Melody. Eccentric. Harmony. Who are your musical heroes? Joe: Lennon, McCartney, Harrison. Paul: Ringo. You can’t get better than The Beatles. Joe: We love Lindisfarne too; a local band.

Preview: On the Inertia - ONEMAN WHQ, Thurs December 15, £5

As one of Newcastle’s most well-established independent club nights, Inertia continues to cement itself as being amongst the most vital and diverse nights out in the city.

Taking over the top �loor of Newcastle’s premier independent venue World Headquarters, Inertia, run by a group of ex-Newcastle University students, has earned a strong reputation for hosting top notch talents. December’s event constitutes an end-ofterm blowout featuring guest ONEMAN, one of the biggest DJs on underground dance radio station Rinse:FM. Spinning the best in garage, UK, funky, house and dubstep, he’s bound to appeal to fans of James Blake and Pearson Sound. Appearing, as ever, will be renowned resident DJs Tim Shaw & Sully, ensuring that the night will end in a torrent of ear-shattering bass. What better way to celebrate the end of term? Ben Travis

support slots? I don’t know how it came to be, we’ve been offered gigs from The Wombats, and it kind of spiraled from there. We’ve played with The Kooks, The Wombats, 30 Seconds to Mars. It was a great experience because we had the chance to play for a huge crowd. With 30 seconds to Mars in Switzerland there was 20,000 people , and with The Kooks about 10,000 a night in the UK. We’ ve been touring a lot this year in the UK and mainland Europe ; Holland, Germany, Belgium, Russia. What are your future plans? Our main focus is on the album coming out on the �irst week of March and we’re really excited about it. These days, the way the world – and television - works, bands are not necessarily in the singles market; the album is what counts. Having our own headline tour is amazing, and we’re looking forward to hitting the rest of the UK venues on our list. After the album is released, there’s going to be a lot of touring in the UK and the US next year. I can’t do one, but can you give us your best Geordie accent? I can’t even do it, and I’m from the South East!

What’s your favourite venue in Newcastle? The Cluny2; you always get a good crowd there. Who’s your favourite band on the Newcastle scene? We love Vinyl Jacket; The Lake Poets is a really good songwriter too. What’s next for the band? Another EP; we’ll lay our cards on the table with that. You’ve got to hope if something’s going to happen, it’s going to happen then. Where and when can we see you next in Newcastle? We’re playing The Arc in Stockton on 21st December. But we’ll next play in Newcastle when we probably do a little tour in March. Chris Haywood

For tonnes of web-exclusive columns and live reviews, check out The Courier music section online. Tune into NSR on Thursday, 2-4 to hear the music editors and writers chatting about this week’s articles.

record Classic albums Fresh perspective

Until last week, I had never listened to

David Bowie’s Ziggy Stardust I’m not going to lie. I’ve heard some Bowie. Who hasn’t? He’s done everything from being a Goblin King, in the 1986 �ilm Labyrinth, to having a bizarrely hilarious and homoerotic ‘Dancing in The Street’ duet with Mick Jagger, the music video for which features him inexplicably wearing baggy silk pyjamas. Seriously, it has to be seen to be believed. So of course I’ve heard the classics: ‘Life on Mars’, ‘Rebel Rebel’, ‘Space Oddity’ and even the titular ‘Ziggy Stardust’ track because, as my �lat mate rather neatly put it, to have not heard it you would actually have to be a mole person. However, I’ve never sat down and listened to a Bowie album before and from the outset very few of the track titles looked familiar. Still, I had high hopes. The �irst thing that struck me was how experimental some of the songs were. Strings and brass frequently join the classic rock ensemble of guitar, bass, piano and drums but this does not mean these classic instruments are neglected. The guitar work, not something I knew Bowie for, was particularly impressive. There were plenty of satisfyingly crunchy riffs and wailing solos alongside the less conventional features. While Bowie is generally de�ined as glam rock the sound of this album varies massively, from the jazzy middle section of ‘Soul Love’, to the bluesy ‘It Ain’t Easy’ and the piano-driven ‘Lady Stardust’. But Bowie’s trademark vocals, combined with what are sometimes truly bizarre lyrics, the line “like tigers on Vaseline” springs to mind, tie the whole thing together nicely. Frankly there is so much going on in this album it’s impossible to mention it all. And I love it. Any album that can have a song that opens with the lyric “I’m an alligator!” over a rocky guitar riff, talks about space invaders and ray-guns, has a �lute and sax solo and then a beautiful, echoing guitar solo has automatically won my heart. The name of this song? ‘Moonage Daydream’, and from what I’ve gathered it’s about an alien rock star messiah. I’m sold. If you, like me, have heard some Bowie and liked it or heard some Bowie and not really paid attention or have not heard some Bowie, having just emerged from your subterranean tunnels, and believe him to be some kind of androgynous alien being, I whole heartedly recommend this album, though it probably won’t disabuse you of this notion. This album de�initely deserves its reputation and brilliantly highlights just why David Bowie enjoys his status as an iconic musical �igure.

Adam Bristow-Smith

THE COURIER Monday December 5 2011

filmfeatures

Top 5

Movie Bromances

5) Topgun

Perhaps of the more distinct pairings – even if only for the homoerotic nature – Maverick and Iceman’s relationship in TopGun blossoms from initial distrust to true Hollywood bromance. The pair spend most of their time frolicking topless in the changing rooms, or playing beach volleyball in this unintentionally camp classic.

4) Star Wars Trilogy

Though questionable in its content (more bestiality than bromance), this relationship is an absolute classic. It would be easy to pick R2D2 and C3P0 from Star Wars, but they lack the depth that Chewie and Han have. Just remember the despair in Chewbacca’s howls as Han gets frozen.

3) Hot Fuzz

Ultimately a send up of the type of cop bromance you see in the likes of Bad Boys and Lethal Weapon, this pair’s Britishness in Hot Fuzz makes for a really amiable friendship. Fetching each other ice creams and knowing utterances of “Cheers babe”, make for a better bromance than just getting the bad guys ever could.

2) Withnail & I

This pair of would-be lovers, though just as endearing, are the focus of a much deeper bromance. The two endure extreme hardships and each other in an event filled “holiday”, only to end with an almost tear-jerking separation in the rain – suitably played out like a Shakespearean tragedy.

1) Superbad

A modern classic, this one, and perhaps the film that kicked off the modern fascination with male bonding. What other scene so epitomises the genre as the cringe-worthy declaration of male love as the two slowly fall asleep? This is what bromances are all about. Patrick Mchugh

thecourieronline.co.uk/film c2.film@ncl.ac.uk

Director Interview: Andrew Haigh

With recent independant film Weekend recieving international acclaim Film Writer Luke Hearfield catches up with former Newcastle University student and rising director Andrew Haigh.

From humble roots to international success, Andrew Haigh’s journey to award winning director has been a tale of perseverance, hard work and overcoming adversity. As a previous Newcastle graduate of 1995, his latest feature ‘Weekend’ is receiving critical praise on all sides of the globe. Both articulate and genuine, he shared several interesting ideas on his road to accomplishment and the developing world of gay cinema and culture. For a man who graduated with a BA Honours in History he made quite a splash in the film industry. A man of great etiquette, he’s openly gay and was comfortably able to discuss taboo issues with ease with his movies often influenced by his views on the dominant heterosexual saturated society. Surprisingly, his break into filmmaking filmmaking wasn’t always a priority “I suppose I didn’t really start until my mid-twenties after I left Newcastle, but I had been thinking about it for a long time, for years in fact. It is about actually getting off your arse and doing it though”. Before he got his big break Andrew had worked on many other previous films. One of his first was as an apprentice editor on Ridley Scott’s Gladiator. “I didn’t work closely with Ridley at all, but working on that film was certainly an experience. I was out in Malta where they shot a lot of the film and it was just such enormous beast of a film”. As an experience it evidently transferred to the professionalism of his first feature. In its opening week, Weekend took over £32,500, making it the second highest viewed film of that week. To say that was up against a Steven Spielberg picture, says a lot about Britain as a culture with a small independant being very well received and winning several awards internationally. Despite this he admitted this was something he wasn’t prepared for. “I didn’t think this film would do as well as it has. I was hoping for this but you can never really expect it. I have worked on a variety of films but you can never really tell what is going to resonate with an audience or not”.

Photo courtesy of Palisades Pictures

Thankfully despite his initial success hasn’t gone to his head “It feels incredible being recognised for my work on a global level and obviously it makes me very happy, but the strange thing is I tend not to think about it. The best thing about it is ithatenables me to move on and make something else”. Despite changing attitudes towards gender and sexuality, there still is a negative stigma attached to the idea of ‘gay’ cinema as a genre aimed predominantly towards the indie marketplace. Andrew revealed the difficulties of getting this movie off the ground. “The hardest thing was raising the money. People are wary of putting money into gay themed films and this was no exception. It took a long time to persuade people and most of them said no”. Weekend deals with this controversial topic of gay marriage, an issue still in flux within society, Andrew himself fittingly

No-one at the moment is going to spend 100 million dollars on a film about a gay superhero because people won’t go and see it.[...] It is shame but it shows how deep prejudices still lie

had strong opinions on the subject. “I think that if you are gay and want to get married then that is fantastic you should be able to. For me personally it’s about asking certain questions. I’m not keen on assimilation in any form, but you should be able to do whatever makes you happy. I try to look at it from different perspectives within my films”. However in becoming a success added pressures of gay representation can often produce complaints, with Andrew’s exploration of drug use bringing complaints and backlash of mis-representation. “Some people worry I am representing the whole gay community as drug users. I understand why it is asked but it is the wrong complaint. The same concern would never be raised if the film was about two straight people. There is this desperate need for some people to show a version of being gay that is always good, always positive. That makes no sense to me. If we want true acceptance, we have to be accepted as we really are - flawed people, just like everyone else”. When competing against the dominant Eurocentric, heterosexual ideologies of Hollywood narratives, independent cinema as of late is the only genuine medium to that can truly explore gay issues in cinema. However the question at hand is whether these issues can ever transcend independent smaller films? “Certainly Hollywood and even British cinema isn’t happy to explore gay issues in cinema. There are so many reasons for that, but predominantly based around fear and prejudice. It’s also always about money. No-one at the moment is going to spend 100 million dollars on a film about a gay superhero because people won’t go and see it. While massive strides have been taken in terms of gay equality, most of the population will not go and see a film about gay people. It is shame but it shows how deep prejudice still lies”. Andrew has come a long way since studying at Newcastle University with gnomic advice to aspiring filmmakers. “Don’t listen to other people about how they think you should make films; just make them how you want to. The history of cinema is about innovation and not repetition”. He’s living proof that you can achieve your goals in any field as long as you’re passionate about it, emitting a genuine down to earth trait that is reflected in his films. ‘Weekend’ is truly his trophy of his achievement. With other projects in the pipeline let’s hope he continues to retain the quaint believability that makes his movies so special.

Tyneside braced for uke-ular meltdown First of all, one thing needs to be put straight: Contrary to popular belief, the ukulele is not a centuries-old traditional instrument from Hawaii. It is in fact a further developed version of two small guitar-like instruments that immigrants from Portugal brought with them. But regardless of where it originated, the ukulele became a global phenomenon across different cultures and nations in pre-Rock‘n‘Roll times. After being somewhat dismissed for several decades for being a fairly geeky thing, it has made a comeback during the last few years thanks to the internet and its possibilities to connect like-minded people. The feature documentary Mighty Uke by Tony Coleman and Margaret Meagher now pays tribute to this petite instrument and even more those enthusiastic about it. On 9th December 2011, the Mighty Uke Road Show will stop at the Tyneside Cinema for an exclusive

film screening; after the movie, the audience will have the opportunity to meet the minds behind the documentary and literally strum along on a ukulele in special jam session, no prior experience required. That is exactly what makes playing the ukulele so much fun: It is dead easy to learn, so even the most unmusical and tone-deaf person can give it a try. The workshop is lead by James Hill who is often dubbed the best current ukulele player on the planet being renowned for the eclectic mix of musicial styles and his speedy fingers. So there‘s really no excuse to not grab the ukulele left from your latest Hawaii-themed party and make some sweet music with it!

Mighty Uke screens at Tyneside CInema, December 9th, 6pm, Tickets from £9-12 pounds Lisa Bernhardt

THE COURIER Monday December 5 2011

reviewsfilm

Film Editor: Chris Binding Online Film Editor: Hayley Hamilton

Moneyball I tend to view sporting films with a healthy degree of suspicion. The track record isn’t great (see the Goal trilogy), the plots are usually the same, and your sympathy tends to run out when you remember how much everyone’s getting paid. Thankfully, Moneyball manages to sidestep the obvious disability it has (being about baseball, a sport tied with American football for most banal and worthless game ever created) by engaging with a more general theme of money and statistics in sport, something it tackles intelligently and thoughtfully. One could draw a parallel with Million Dollar Baby, which grew beyond the simplistic mixture of inspirational speeches, macho montages and misguided idealism that makes the Rocky series so dislikable. Moneyball concerns the Oakland Athletics, a baseball team outmuscled financially by the bigger franchises, run by Billy Beane (Brad Pitt), a former player who failed to fulfil his potential. However, after pilfering a statistics boffin (Jonah Hill), he begins to turn the tables

by picking overlooked players identified by spreadsheets and graphs rather than the nous of his older, traditionalist staff, which causes conflict when the two philosophies clash. The film succeeds because Brad Pitt is simply delightful to watch, portraying Beane as funny, likeable, but also flawed and human. It may not be an Oscar performance, but there’s no doubt to Pitt’s ability to lead a film. Indeed, the film focuses far more on his own personal issues,

and the struggle for his ideas to be accepted and implemented by Philip Seymour Hoffman’s grumpy chief coach, than the actual performance of the team, a sound decision that pays off. That’s not to say that the other performances aren’t perfectly good, but the focus is on Pitt, and he pulls it off with aplomb, with highlights being scenes with his daughter, and those examining his psyche, well scripted with a minimum of dialogue.

A comedy about cancer doesn’t really sound all that appealing does it? 9 times out of 10, it’s going to be an extremely tasteless affair. In fact, it sounds as appealing as a documentary by Sacha Baron Cohen on Eastern Europe. Luckily for us, 50/50 hits the good side of the odds and comes up as a winner (you really expected a review of a film named 50/50 to not have an odds based pun?). Based on screenwriter Will Reiser’s actual battle with spinal cancer, 50/50 sees Adam (an excellent, yet again, Joseph Gordon-Levitt) suddenly discovering he has a rare type of cancer, despite him living an obsessively healthy lifestyle. His girlfriend (Bryce Dallas Howard) and his mother (Anjelica Huston) both fuss over him, with varying degrees of success, while his best friend (Seth Rogen in weed smoking, penis joke regular mode) tries to get him to use his illness to get him laid. There definitely is room for 50/50 to turn into some boorish mess that turns cancer into the butt of a joke, but it manages to toe that very, very thin line expertly. The two extremes can be seen in Seth Rogen’s character, Kyle. For the most part, he is outlandish, womanising and simply another Seth Rogen character, but one scene towards the end gives reason towards his attitude, that he is merely trying to cope with his best friend having cancer.Anna Kendrick also puts in yet another star performance as Adam’s bumbling therapist. She is charming and well-meaning and provides a nice contrast to the other women in the film.

“Everybody who lives in this house gets killed” the supposedly chilling tag line of this movie. Going in to see this movie my attitude was, new movie same recycled plot story. Surprisingly Dream House did try to deliver something a little more fresh, but unfortunately oversaturated concepts and a poorly executed plot fail to solidify a gripping tale. Despite borrowing similar narrative ideas from films like Amityville Horror and Shutter Island, it didn’t create the same impact. Will Atenton (Daniel Craig) quits his job so he can spend more time with his wife (Rachel Weisz) and two little girls in there lovely new home. Failing to do his research he predictably finds out the previous family that resided there were murdered by the father named Paul Ward. Director Jim Sheridan does a semi decent job of setting up a tense thriller, but the plot is too inconsistent and less intriguing than he was aiming for. At first the plot has some good merits with elements of mystery, but the momentum is lost at the seemingly interesting narrative shift at the half way point. To introduce a plot twist at this point is daring but dosen’t do anything to benefit the story. It turns out Will is Paul Ward, released from prison due to inconclusive evidencesuffering an amnesic trauma and what the audience witness is his alter reality. What follows is a bland chain of events debating whether or not he was responsible , with the requisite confusion acting as a smokescreen to mask the script’s overwhelming mundanity.

First things first – Snowtown is not a Christmas film. Take any idea that this might sit alongside The Muppet Christmas Carol and Home Alone in your festive favourites and immediately dispel it from your mind.No, Snowtown is a decidedly harrowing depiction of the ‘body in the barrels’ murders committed by John Bunting: Australia’s worst ever serial killer. Justin Kerzel’s film follows Jamie Vlassakis (Lucas Pittaway), the teenager slowly drawn into Bunting’s heinous actions.There’s no getting around it, really; Snowtown is the most relentlessly grim film I’ve ever sat through. Within the two-hour runtime, it manages to take in paedophilia, rape, animal cruelty, torture and murder. As a cinematic experience, it is one of endurance – just how much misery can you take? Factor in the factual basis of the film, and it’s no wonder an audience member in Saturday’s screening wandered out midway to throw up. That’s not to say it’s a particularly graphic film – for the most part it isn’t, but it is psychologically battering. The film would be easier to take if the film was more accessible – as an impressionistic portrayal of the killings, those expecting the tight framework of times, dates and concrete events will be disappointed. It’s a very interesting style, but one that can make the slowlypaced film occasionally drag.The performances are impeccably naturalistic – Daniel Henshall is mesmerisingly terrifying as Bunting, and Lucas’ quiet, blank horror speaks volumes. Snowtown is an extremely well-made and interesting film, but, understandably, emotionally distant and uninvolving. VERDICT: Snowtown is a remarkable interpretation of an extremely troubling subject matter. Only watch it if you really, really want to – you’ll be stunned, but hard-pressed to say that you enjoyed it.

Chris Taylor

Luke Hearfield

50/50

VERDICT: 50/50 knows exactly when to be funny and when to bring out the emotions. Dealing with such a heavy subject matter and trying to make it humours is a dangerous game to play, but 50/50 plays it and comes out top.

Dream House

VERDICT: Whilst the film does try to be more innovative than your average thriller, it feels like it’s trying too hard. Dream House lacks any emotional character depth, making the final act feel like a mediocre summary.

Snowtown

Ben Travis

Of course, the film strikes a chord because it reflects a very major issue in sport on both sides of the pond. Any football supporter can identify with the problems faced by Pitt’s team when faced with financial pressure in a game where money seems to come before loyalty, and the film ends on a nice touch to that extent, although it fails to address the bigger question of player’s salaries and the more general powers of money. Technically, the film is well shot and edited, if not groundbreaking, and the script is well written avoiding the major clichés of the slowmotion last gasp or the inspirational speech, as well as interspersing real footage with the actors very successfully. It’s also got me slightly interested in baseball, which I never thought would happen.

Verdict: This is a highly polished, well made and very watchable film, with a good performance from Pitt at the head of a fine supporting cast. While somewhat limited by the restrictions of its genre, it deals with the subject matter intelligently and produces one of the best sporting films in recent memory. Rollo Kirkman

My Week with Marylin

Based on two memoirs by Colin Clark, ‘My Week with Marilyn’ chronicles the troubled 1956 production of ‘The Prince and the Showgirl,’ directed by Sir Laurence Olivier (Kenneth Branagh), as chief starlet Marilyn Monroe (a magnificent Michelle Williams) forms a bond with 23 year old production assistant Colin Clark. Directed by Simon Curtis, My week with Marilyn is a success and arguably the best British film since The King’s Speech. The performances are brilliant: from Branagh’s stoic portrayal of the vain and anxious thespian Olivier, to an ever appreciated bit-part by Dame Judi Dench as the actress Dame Sybil Thorndyke; not one actor falters. However, it is Michelle Williams as Monroe herself who steals the show managing to evoke every sense of Marilyn, ably conveying the tension between Monroe’s eyelid-fluttering persona and the damaged woman behind it: expect gold at next year’s Oscars. Monroe’s heartfelt relationship with Clark isthe films core , and both Redmayne and Williams convince on every level. The set and costuming is exquisite, bringing to life the film industry in 1956, and an excellent script helps move the film at a steady pace, never overstaying its welcome. The only notable flaw is the lack of character development between Monroe and her newlywed husband, Arthur Miller (Dougray Scott): we never feel like we know their relationship. However, nit-picking aside, the film still stands as an outstanding piece of British Cinema. VERDICT: A fine piece of British Cinema with an exceptional performance by Michelle Williams as Marilyn Monroe, this is one to watch out for at next year’s Oscars.

Sam Hopkins

THE COURIER Monday December 5 2011

science&technology

5 things you need to know about Climate change

Changes From pollen to precipitation, climate change by its very definition affects the natural world around us. At a time when so much focus is on reducing CO2 emissions and the economic impacts of these changes, it is easy for the primary effects of climate change to fall by the wayside. As well as the long-disputed global warming, climate change has been shown to manifest itself in varying pollen types in sediment due to changes in vegetation, increased land precipitation and arctic sea ice loss.

CO2 Carbon dioxide emissions are the wicked witch of this tale, picked out as the human influence in this changing climate. Multiple aspects of modern life produce CO2 and it costs us money in the short term to avoid this production. With a cynical view on the human race it is easy to see why denial has crept into the minds of so many. Something which crops up on many occasions in climate science is the interpretation of data as conflicting and this is no exception. Recent work published has indicated a smaller (but still significant) role for atmospheric CO2 levels in temperature changes.

Conferences Reports of conflicting data and denial are still rife within society and, whilst this is the case, pressure on world leaders is lessened at vital climate change conferences such as the international negotiations on global warming in Durban. The call for a new approach at these conferences is strong within the scientific community following the disastrous Copenhagen meeting of 2009, and with the Kyoto deal effectively expiring next year.

thecourieronline.co.uk/science c2.science@ncl.ac.uk

It’s not the end of the world

As the final full year of the Mayan calendar draws to a close, Science Editor Mark Atwill explains how understanding science increasingly reveals that they may ultimately be proved

s a species, humans are obsessed by the concept of mortality, and drawn by morbid fascination of the eternal to the concept of Armageddon. Global religions refer to the end of humanity as a kind of judgement day, when the finite lifespan of man has run its course and a new, worthier species will inherit the Earth. Now, it is the turn of science to predict the nature of our demise. Whether by war, a massive asteroid or solar flare as depicted in our most popular disaster movies, it is not a question of if our world will cease to exist as we know it, but when. Given that 99 per cent of species that have ever existed on Earth have become extinct, cataclysm is a certainty, and this Death by euphoria: Caffeine and nicotine are stimulants many of us use every day. Through our understanding of physiology, the mechanics of neurological stimulation permit the design of drugs that could completely alter our concept of existence, breaking the boundaries of physical and mental reality. The end of society could resemble the biggest hippy love in since Woodstock. Maybe Phillip K. Dick saw the future?

time Roland Emmerich or Jerry Bruckheimer can’t insist on a happy ending. Consider this: In one billion years, the sun will begin its red giant phase, expand, and increase the temperature on Earth to 1,000 degrees. If we are still there by then, an interstellar species, the universe is itself a time-bomb. Stars will begin to die in 100 trillion years, and eventually, nuclear matter will decay and everything will disappear into the oblivion of infinity, almost like none of it was ever there. Before we ever get that far, our understanding of the universe has revealed some terrifying, yet entirely fascinating new possible outcomes for the fate of the human race.

Photo: Flickr Rutty

Photo: Flickr Niharb Photo: Flickr NASA

Mega Tsunami: The Canary Island of La Palma is on the brink of literally breaking in half. Any volcanic activity in the geologically unstable region could sheer off a giant chunk of rock that would cause a kilometre high wave to rush across the Atlantic Ocean at hundreds of miles an hour, and smash into the coasts of Europe, Africa and the Americas with catastrophic and unknown levels of damage. Some of the world’s largest and most important cities could be lost within a matter of hours following the eruption.

Photo: Flickr t.j.blackwell

Interstellar gamma rays When supermassive stars go supernova, they rapidly expand, engulfing nearby satellites and emitting high intensity beams of vastly energetic gamma rays into space. If these beams were to hit the Earth, they would be sufficient to almost instantly boil away our atmosphere, destroying most, if not all life with a single dose of lethal radiation. The survivors would be left to die slowly on a poisoned planet. While the direction of the emitted radiation is random, even a blindfolded child with a bat hits the piñata now and again.

Back-teria in black

Heavy metals incur antibiotic resistance in common bacterial strains Climategate As well as a lack of uniformity within the international and political community, the scientific community has its own ever-growing problem, climategate. In the past weeks there have been further leaked e-mails from research scientists following on from those published prior to Copenhagen, which lead to unfounded accusations of data manipulation amongst the media and sceptics.

Consequences For so many in the world the last four points will be difficult to relate to, but all they need to do is turn on the television and witness the extreme climates we are seeing on our planet. Storms, floods, droughts and heat waves threaten our economy further, as well as everyday lives around the world.

Tom Feltham

When the first antibiotics were invented, it must have seemed like diseases caused by bacteria would soon be a thing of the past. These amazing drugs could hunt down and kill harmful microbes with little effect on the patient; the holy grail of drug treatment. However, over the last century, more and more antibiotic-resistant strains of common bacteria have been discovered. Resistant ‘superbugs’ like MRSA, immune to the usual treatments, are a constant threat to vulnerable patients. According to the World Health Organisation, superbugs kill 25,000 people every year in the EU. The blame for this phenomenon is usually placed squarely on irresponsible users of antibiotics; the patient who don’t finish their prescribed course, or the farmer who feeds antibiotics to their livestock to keep diseases, and costs, down. These approaches kill normal, nonresistant bacteria and allow the resistant strains to grow and spread even more rapidly.

However, new research suggests that there might be another major cause. Oddly enough, antibiotic resistance seems to relate to the amount of metal in the ground. The findings were made by a group of experts, including Professor David Graham of Newcastle University, who studied soil samples collected from various sites across Scotland. They measured the number of genes in bacteria relating to antibiotic resistance, and found that it was higher in areas with metals like copper, lead and tin in the soil. The mechanisms microbes use to avoid antibiotics were originally developed to survive the effects of environmental chemicals. Lead is toxic to most organisms, ourselves included, and bacteria on copper surfaces die within hours. Those that don’t evolve fast enough are killed by these natural poisons, and those that can recognise a harmful chemical, and dispose of it, survive and grow. Developing antibiotic resistance might just have been a case of learning to throw out a few more chemicals along with the rest.

So what does this mean for the future of antibiotics? Professor Graham said “One implication of this result is that past mining areas, such as Cornwall with soils rich in tin and copper, or Northumberland with its former zinc and lead mines, might have an intrinsically higher potential for antibiotic resistance than elsewhere.” Bad news for mining towns, where the bigger populations of resistant bacteria might result in more superbug infections. It’s not all doom and gloom though; Dr Charles Knapp from the University of Strathclyde, Glasgow, who led the research, suggested that: “With our chemical arsenal to battle infections ever decreasing, the findings will help to develop an effective approach to address these environmental factors.” Hopefully, further research in this field could eventually lead to a more permanent solution to the resistance problem; until then, the chemical arms race continues.

Mark Condon

THE COURIER Monday December 5 2011

Science Editor: Mark Atwill Science Online Editor: Shaun Butcher

science&technology

Rogue black hole: Hard to spot, these ultra dense gravitational bins are the most destructive force in the universe. A black hole approaching our solar system could literally tear the Earth into atoms. Within a billion miles, the gravitational disturbance of the black hole could throw the Earth out of orbit, sending us hurtling into the sun or far out.

Technology

Photo: Flickrl Photo: Flickr Psyberartist

Transhumanism: The idea of downloading a human mind into a digital form in order to cheat death is not a new one, however the technology to actually achieve this feels closer than ever. In a world far into the future, those descendents who had achieved this digital posthuman existence could form a network of artifical intelligence, instantaneously accessing and sharing information on superfast networks. This sharing could be unambiguous, malevolent and unfeeling, and the singular consciousness this spawned would be far more logical and intelligent than the human mind would allow. Perhaps these digital humans would choose to eradicate the imperfect and emotional human race?

Photo: Flickr badastronomer

Magnetic reversal The magnetic field of the Earth is our barrier, protecting us from harmful radiation of the sun that could, unchecked, rip through DNA and fry all of the electrical systems on the planet. Once every few hundred thousand years, magnetic north and south poles flip over, and during that time the magnetic field weakens, or disappears entirely for an extended period of time. Apparently, the last known transition happened about 780,000 years ago, so another is well overdue.

Invasive species We’re not talking extra-terrestrials with ray guns here, but then, who knows? We are talking aliens though. Increasing pressure on ecosystems and genetic modification may result in an invasive species, of plant, animal or microbe, that turns up in an unfamiliar ecosystem, and rapidly takes over. This collapses the ecosystem from within, as the invader’s population increases exponentially. Invasive species are already an expensive global problem: they disrupt local ecosystems, transfer viruses, poison soils and damage agriculture. The likelihood is, the problem will get far worse as we begin to run out of living space.

Photo: Flickr flingsinger

Photo: Flickr sweetie187l

Vacuum decay Especially terrifying, as there is no way we could ever predict, or know it was happening until the atoms of everything on Earth all simultaneously torn apart at the speed of light. If the Earth exists in a region of space known as a false vacuum, we could plunge into a lower energy state at any unspecific moment. Would that happen, everything we have ever known could cease to exist before you even finished reading

Environmation

I’m a polar bear, get me out of here

Latest word on the climate block is that the poles could turn into tropical rainforest by the year 2300 if we carry on combusting. This may sound far-fetched considering the north and south poles have been iced over for an impressive 35 million years; we certainly couldn’t imagine them any other way. However, owing to a process known as ‘hyper-warming’, it is possible. Climate scientists have been busy creating future scenarios, which show us what the Earth might look like in the future depending on how well we treat it today. The most pessimistic yet fascinating version has the Arctic flourishing with flora and fauna, as it was way back in the Cretaceous period. Back then it was 10°C hotter than it is today, and plants that we see in South America now were growing in the most northerly part of the globe.

Strangelets Enter the terrifying domain of quantum mechanics. The strangelet is a rare particle that can spontaneously transform any other particle into itself. A few together could, in just a few hours, render our entire planet an amorphous strangelet soup.

Photo: Flickr mikebala

Hyper-warming is where the planet gets hotter because a larger area of the globe is covered by water, and sea water absorbs more of the sun’s heat than land does. This is a phenomenon last seen in the Cambrian period, when water temperatures reached a staggering 40°C. Temperatures could be pushed up by a further 3°C if the Arctic does indeed become colonised by rainforest because of the albedo effect; foliage reflects less light away than ice does. The planet could get even hotter than this as the scenarios do not include the effects of positive feedbacks such as the release of methane from sources such as permafrost. Hydroxyl-free radicals break down methane in the upper atmosphere which means it normally hangs around for about ten years, but should a huge store suddenly become liberated, the system could become saturated. The net result would be methane being present for much longer periods, increasing the effect that it has on the earth as a potent greenhouse gas. There is also evidence that, in the Eocene period when temperatures were last in this sort of ball park, carbon stores in the oceans failed. Carbon would normally be found in the carcasses of marine creatures, but higher temperatures allow bacteria at the surface of the ocean to thrive. They metabolise all the carbon so that it doesn’t

Photo: Flickr

End of time Our understanding of time is an infinite and unchanging thing, intangible yet omnipresent. However, what if somehow time was finite, and eventually would diminish until it simply ceased to exist? In 2007 Spanish physicisits proposed the theory that the 75 per cent of unaccounted mass in the universe, simply termed dark matter, was in fact the product of time physically leaking from the universe. According to this theory, time would slow, galaxies would separate at a steady rate until time simply ceased to exist. It is impossible to estimate what would then exist, as our understanding of physics requires the existence of a quantifiable commodity from which we can define variables. At the end of time, is that simultaneously the end of the universe in all forms? Mankind will never know.

have chance to sink to the depths and get stored away. We may be many years away from Arctic rainforests, but the idea is nonetheless intriguing. It puts into perspective the fact that we are only seeing the Earth for a fraction of its lifetime, like a snapshot. In a few hundred years with the influences of the human population it could be completely changed, or exactly the same.

Emma Summerscales

It puts into perspective the fact that we are only seeing the Earth for a fraction of its lifetime, like a snapshot.

This year’s must-have gadgets

iTouch Gloves. Smart phones are becoming the number one phone to have, but, the manufacturers have overlooked something: the cold. Most of us wear gloves in winter but, if you have a smart phone, you will know that you can’t interact with the phone with anything else but your finger (or your tongue). This annoying technicality can be overcome, with iTouch gloves! They contain conductive material discreetly woven into the forefinger, middle finger and thumb tips and are designed to prevent scratching your device. This is a must have for anyone who fears the cold weather and owns a smart phone!

DAB Digital Radio. With all the innovative ways to listen to music, the good old-fashioned wireless isn’t getting a look in any more. Personally, I like to listen to the radio now and again, especially when I can’t be bothered to pick a song to listen to. You don’t need to rely on crackly signal or a posh old man talking anymore either; the wireless has been modernised and although DAB Digital radios have been out for a while, they have dropped in price dramatically. You can pick up a good bargain. DAB digital radios come in a huge variety of designs and with various features – so, you’re not spoilt for choice. They are a good edition to anyone’s room and some of them can act as an extra alarm to get you out of bed in the morning.

Tablets Tablet computers are definitely the must have item this Christmas. The Nielsen group study about top Christmas gifts found that a whopping 44 per cent of kids between the ages of six and twelve have the iPad as their number one item, so you might find your little siblings requesting this from you. The iPad, although critically acclaimed and a personal choice for me, is not the only tablet computer out there. The Samsung Galaxy tab is closely clutching on to Apple’s heels and the Blackberry Playbook is another contender. Tablet computers have obliterated the netbook market due to their portability and quality and I’m sure they will be one of the top selling gadgets this Christmas.

Shaun Butcher Online Science Editor

THE COURIER Monday December 5 2011

thecourieronline.co.uk/tvandradio c2.tv@ncl.ac.uk TV Editors: Sophia Fairhead and Nicole Stevenson

Top 5 X Factor Scandals

You thought it couldn’t get any better (or worse), but incredibly this year has provided more jaw dropping on-screen antics and behind the scenes gossip than ever before . Lauren Cordell provides us with the highlights In the audition stages, the broadcasting of Ceri Rees’ painful “mean comments” to other contest1. Frankie Coke-ozza rendition of Whitney on what was her fourth appearance on ants that really caused a stir. Kelly the show sparked accusations of bullying. At bootcamp, favourite Lascel Wood failed to make it to the judges’ houses amidst allegations of homemade adult videos, whilst fellow contestant Sian Phillips succeeded, only to be denied a US visa and her place at Kelly Rowland’s house because of a criminal past. On to the live shows, Charley Bird from 2 Shoes revealed that she was 4 months pregnant and girl group Rhythmix were forced to change their name. Yet none of these stories compare to the series’ top �ive scandals. Here’s our countdown:

5. The Risk reshuf�le

The third week of the live shows saw claims that The Risk’s Ashley Baptiste was suffering from laryngitis only for him to walk out on the group the day before their next performance. He apologised to the group for “not being completely committed” and within hours Ashford Campbell, from the already votedoff Nu Vibe, was brought in as a very convenient replacement indeed.

By far the biggest scandal this series. Even those who don’t watch the X Factor know his name. Perhaps the scandal was that talentless Frankie was in the last sixteen in the �irst place, but mentor Gary Barlow obviously saw potential in his cheeky-chappy attitude that he thereafter cultivated into a bad-boy persona. During the live shows, allegations were made that producers took Frankie out and �ilmed him to further his rock-star image, but things evidently got out of hand and he was unceremoniously ditched from the competition for breaking the “golden rule” and boasting on set about taking cocaine.

subsequently accused Tulisa of being “unprofessional” and speculation went into overdrive when Kelly was absent in week four; was she really too ill to do the show or had her fall out with Tulisa resulted in her not turning up? On her return in week �ive the girls had seemingly made up but you could cut the tension with a knife.

3. The return of Amelia Lily

After the exit of Frankie Cocozza viewers were invited to bring back their favourite act from the ones that the judges had voted off in the �irst live show. All bets were on the return of Amelia Lily. However, her comeback was surrounded by accusations of a �ix when the Scottish ITV website published an article con�irming her return an hour before voting closed. Although the show dismissed the article’s apparition as a technical glitch, insisting that articles had been written for every conceivable outcome, fans have accused the show of subliminal messaging as Bryan Adams backed Amelia Lily to win in week eight and she has now replaced Misha B at the end of the Marks and Spencer’s advert.

4. Tulisa vs. Kelly

As always, this years’ judges have stolen the limelight away from the contestants, particularly the girls, who have grabbed the headlines. Back in week three Kelly had apparently been giving Tulisa unwanted advice on her acts, but it was Tulisa publicly shaming Kelly’s act Misha B for making

2. Sensationalist scandals replace singing?

Although sometimes it feels like they just couldn’t make up some of this series’ X Factor gossip, many viewers claim that the only real scandal of this year has been the increasing emphasis on orchestrated and sensationalised stories rather than singing. With a decline in viewer ratings that now sees Strictly Come Dancing coming out on top, the never-ending media circus surrounding this year’s X Factor seems to some like a desperate bid by the show and the press to continue bene�iting from a dying donkey. In fact, many fans are switching over to the US version, which has remained more true to the show’s search for raw musical talent.

Judging the Judges Destiny’s Child diva, Kelly Rowland, proves an amusing addition to this year’s X Factor judging panel. Adding the international �lavour, she brings American con�idence, a tendency to “boo” contestants and big hair transformations from across the border. She’s a bit of an oxymoron – her loud personality can come across attention seeking and a bit fake, yet the advice she gives to the contestants she’s mentoring seems genuine and caring. What I want to know is how much of her hair is real – it changes length every week!

After Cheryl Cole’s copiouslycovered exit, Tulisa from N-Dubz is there to provide the urban edge. The youngest on the judging panel, I think she’s the most relatable for young people and she’s certainly been giving the show her attitude. There’s no way she could ever compete for the public’s love of Cheryl Cole; not only because Cheryl is uniquely beautiful, but her charm and heart-warning accent established her as a household name, unlike Tulisa – unless your ‘rents are undercover R’n’B fans. Overall, a good addition to the judging panel in my books.

Celebrity Retweet @KatieWeasel X factor 2011 �inal will be 4 hours long ! That’s 3 hours and 32 minutes of adverts and 28 minutes of Little Mix crying! @Robbie Williams love Xfactor. Marcus to win. @Louis_Tomlinson Come on Little Mix!!! @RebeccaFerguson I met Misha B she was absolutely lovely :( but love Janet too two lovely girls xxxx

Hottie of the Week

Emily Rae gives the X Factor panel a much deserved taste of their own medicine Gary Kelly Tulisa Louis Take That frontman Gary Barlow was hyped to �ill the boots of the infamous Simon Cowell even before the audition shows started. The question is – has he really done the high-waistedtrouser-wearing Cowell justice? I’m not so sure. He is indeed dryly sarcastic and straight talking, but lacks Simon’s cheeky laugh when something really tickles him as well as the incredulous looks to the camera. Don’t get me wrong, I like Gary – he’s just trying too hard to impersonate the one guy who really makes the show.

With the �inal this Saturday, there are sure to be more scandals in the following week, but after this season’s happenings it’s going to take something really huge to break into the top �ive.

Dear old Louis… The only judge to cut it to the eighth series hasn’t changed a bit. Strange song choices, weak opinions and ridiculous stage productions all characterise Louis’ mentoring style. Lumbered with the dud ‘over 25’s’ category yet again, it doesn’t really seem fair. How can the audience at home know his true potential as a as a mentor if all his acts get voted out in the �irst few weeks? Having said all that, I do have a soft spot for Louis, although I have a feeling that’s more for his soft Irish accent rather than his judging ability.

Olly Murs

Photo: OllyMursVEVO

This week’s hotty is the one and only X factor veteran Olly Murs. Our weekend television has never been better for entertainment with an added bonus of eye-candy. Catch Mr Olly Murs on ITV2’s Xtra Factor for all the backstage jaw-dropping gossip. Even if you are not a fan of the show, I guarantee Olly himself is ample reason to tune in! Only a presenter with charm like his could captivate the audience, making you fall in love with him as he steals the show. That irresistible cheeky smile, oh-so-tight trousers and his charisma will make even your grandparents swoon. (Dear Caroline Flack, if you ever want to quit your job, I will happily take your place.) Staying in has become the new going out and our TV screen has never looked so good. Snuggling on a warm comfy sofa drooling over Olly versus sweating it out in a club being bashed around by drunken idiots? I know what I would prefer. ‘Dance with me tonight?’ – yes please!

Jessica Timms

THE COURIER Monday December 5 2011

thecourieronline.co.uk/careers c2.editor@ncl.ac.uk

Graduate Proﬁle

Former Courier Life and Style Editor, Larisa Brown, takes us through her extraordinary year since graduating and proving herself to be a promising talent in the world of journalism. (additional words by Lauren Girling) Two years ago I had no idea what I wanted to do with my Politics and History degree. I’d sailed through education choosing subjects that I enjoyed rather than subjects that would lead to a speci�ic career. I was in the beginning of my third year and was about to undertake a role as Life & Style Editor of The Courier. While it seemed fair to assume that most people taking such roles were committed to a life of journalism, I applied for the position merely because I enjoyed writing the stories so much and thought it might be quite fun managing my own section – it was just a logical progression from being a writer. Several months into the position, I fell in love with the world of journalism, spending my evenings in search of stories and my days

immersed in current affairs, as well as managing my degree course. My interest in Africa and development, third world politics and human rights became the inspiration for many of my pieces and I realised the value of the media as a tool for educating people on all sorts of issues including injustice, poverty and deprivation. Having always had at the back of mind that I may want to be a lecturer one day, I applied to the London School of Economics to do a Human Rights masters and was offered a place. At the same time, I decided to run for Editor of The Courier. While I put my heart and soul into running for the position of Editor, I was disquali�ied the day the results were to be announced for something out of my control. After contacting several journalists regarding the best way to get

featurecareers into journalism, I decided that, while a masters in Human Rights would be a possible entry path, it wasn’t necessary at this stage, and that doing a journalism course would, at least in the short term, be a good way to enter into the media world. I chose to do a fast-track 17 week intensive course in Newcastle with the Press Association (PA), which was an NCTJ (National Council for the Training of Journalists) accredited course. Before I began the course I managed (without ease) to get a couple of work experience placements lined up and before I knew it I had a front page by-line in the Daily Telegraph on a story about student loan delays. Throughout the PA course I was writing for three Newcastle based newspapers – The Chronicle, The Journal, Sunday Sun, and got a front-page exclusive story in the Sunday Sun which made The Sun and the Editor’s pick on Sky News. By December, I had a grade A portfolio and had passed exams in shorthand, news writing, government and law. During my journalism course, I was keeping an eye out for opportunities and decided that I wanted to go to Africa to get experience of reporting in a foreign country. I applied to a news agency called African Laughter in Kenya that supplied stories to Kenya’s national newspapers, as well as foreign magazines and several of their own websites. I was offered an

internship and �lew out to Kenya in February. Before long I was writing stories on issues that I had always been interested in, stories that made a difference. The idea of the news agency was to be distinct from the politicised Kenyan media and instead celebrate success and instigate positive reform and change. I reported from the slums as well as from the United Nations where I attended a world environment summit. I became Editor for the news agency’s main website, focusing on educating Kenyan mothers on health for their children and inspirational stories for middle and low class families. I doubled website traf�ic, as well as writing for African Laughter’s other websites, several magazines and the Business Daily newspaper. During my time in Kenya I �lew back to the UK for a few days for an interview with the Daily Mail and was subsequently offered a place on their graduate trainee scheme and I start work in September. My aim is to become a war correspondent and then a national newspaper Editor. UPDATE! Since starting her job at The Daily Mail Larisa has had a front-page story in the Scottish Daily Mail on the second week in the job and won the NCTJ ‘Scoop of the Year’ at the Society of Editors conference, London. Well done Larisa!

Career Crackers

Work Experience How to get the experience that will make your future employer choose you:

Get a job (preferably courserelated, but any experience works) or volunteer

Do an internship. Also, many companies offer short work experience placements. This is a good way to get an inside view of the business of your choice and will give you a head start, not to mention some valuable connections. Don’t waste your summer! Use those free months to do useful things you don’t have time for during the academic year. Don’t worry if what you’re doing is not entirely related to your future job plans. Any experience is valuable, because it develops skills. It also shows employers you’re active and interested. For more information on work experience and skills, check ncl.ac.uk/careers/ develop/ and ncl.ac.uk/students/nclplus

Marleen van Os

Tribulations of a soonto-begraduate Lucy Alexander Having been termed last week as a ‘grouchy third year’, I felt that this week should perhaps address a more positive aspect of being perilously close to the �inish line. This week, like it or not, festivity is all around us. The Fenwicks Christmas window is out in full force (as it has been since October it feels like, but Scrooge I am not), and those end of term events are looming closer the January exam timetable has just been released - but enough about the negative! Those of us who aren’t lucky enough (*ahem*) to be living in heated halls this year, will be eyeing the holiday spirit with a degree of apprehension. The fast approaching Christmas holidays directly correlates with a life-threatening dip in temperature in our student abodes, as I’m sure you’re all aware. For all third years, I’m sure that this last winter in the Toon will be bittersweet. The constant battle between saving money from heating (to spend on student essentials, you see) and saving �ingers and toes, will be a universally cherished memory. However, whilst the North is superior in most factions of life and study, I can’t help but envy those extra degrees of warmth felt by my friends in Bath or Brighton. Here are a few things that I will particularly miss relating to the great November – March freeze in Newcastle: I’ll miss that feeling of regret and waste when I realise that I’m once again out of the house during those two sacred hours when my house is actually heated. I’ll also miss taking my hairdryer to my leggings before putting them on in a morning (for the record, an awesome discovery and one that should be shared). I’ll miss the constant relevance of the onesie (which I can’t help but see as a modern-day chastity belt?) but I won’t miss walking home from a night out in torrential rain and hurricane winds, only to �ind my own house ever so slightly colder. The perilously low temperatures of the student house and the consequent struggle to make it through the winter are possibly our great uni�ier. Students from all backgrounds and walks of life are united in the battle against frostbite; I feel like I might possibly have a tendency to dramatise things? Our time at university is �leeting and, for many of us, almost over; however, it will take a long time for the student to acquire the thought processes and logic of a grown-up adult with a salary. And by that, I mean that it will be a signi�icant length of time before we can house hunt without seeing a large bedroom and quaking in terror (“think how freezing that will be without heating!”) So I hope that we can all make it through the winter without any loss of limbs, or will to live. Just remember how amazing summer in Newcastle is! I mean, we might even be able to get away without wearing a coat for some of it! Out of the extremely rare positive aspects of being a soonto-be-graduate, this must surely be one of the best. Unless you’re planning on post-grad study. In which case, I’d maybe invest in another onesie...

Puzzles

Sudoku

Easy

THE COURIER Monday December 5 2011

You can ﬁnd the answer s to this week’s pu thecou zzles at rieronli ne. co.uk/p uzzles

thecourieronline.co.uk/puzzles c2.puzzles@ncl.ac.uk Puzzles Editor: Laura Armitage

Crossword

Across

1. Fate (7) 5. Animal with two feet (5) 8. Musical instrument (5) 9. Aerial (7) 10. Professional cook (4) 11. Delight (8) 13. Mass leaving (6) 15. Transparent gem (6) 18. Entertainer (8) 19. Cab (4) 22. Planet nearest to the sun (7) 23. Similar (5) 24. Fishing basket (5) 25. Ruminate (7)

Down Medium

1. Fiasco (7) 2. Meaning (5) 3. Metallic element (4) 4. Annually (6) 5. Treachery (8) 6. Flightless bird (7) 7. Curtain (5) 12. On time (8) 14. See (7) 16. Spear with three prongs (7) 17. Attorney (6)

the e of mn o Be e to co ord fiv first e crossw e Th th plete and into win o h and r office t l! e i Cour free mea a

Hard

Word Link

Find a word that connects the three words shown below

Cartoon

Poker

Air

Blind

Check

Soft

Being

Ink

Riddle Wishing

Duckett and Haye Brainteaser Three people check into a hotel. They pay £30 to the manager and go to their room. The manager suddenly remembers that the room rate is £25 and gives £5 to the bellboy to return to the people. On the way to the room the bellboy reasons that £5 would be difﬁcult to share among three people so he pockets £2 and gives £1 to each person. Now each person paid £10 and got back £1. So they paid £9 each, totalling £27. The bellboy has £2, totalling £29. Where is the missing £1?

Sport

THE COURIER Monday December 5 2011

thecourieronline.co.uk/sport

Sport Editors: Colin Henrys, Harry Slavin and Rory Brigstock-Barron Online Sport Editors: Grace Harvey and Charlie Scott courier.sport@ncl.ac.uk

“He was just an incredible guy” The Courier pays tribute to a man whose death has shocked the footballing world Rory Brigstock-Barron Sports Editor

Colin Henrys Sports Editor

Sunday November 27 2011 should have been a regular afternoon in the football world; the buzz of fans reminiscing about Saturday’s drama, that goal that was a mile offside, that yellow that should have been a red. But the tragic death of Gary Speed put all the trivial talk into perspective, and brought the sporting community together in mourning. There is an obvious dif�iculty in trying to �ind a �itting way to commemorate someone who meant so much to so many people, whose death was so sudden, and whose life was cut so short; but the spontaneous outpour of tributes and remembrances has been like nothing the game has ever seen before. At �irst there were the tremendously emotional responses from former colleagues and friends, such as Robbie Savage, Alan Shearer and Ryan Giggs. These initial responses blossomed in to what has become a tapestry of memories and celebrations of a man who had touched the lives of so many of those who played with, against, under or simply met Speed in passing. Alan Shearer, who played alongside Speed at Newcastle and many times against him in their wonderful premier league careers, recounted to the BBC that “No-one had a bad word for him. He was just an incredible guy, what you would describe as a proper bloke.” Sam Allardyce who brought a 34 year-old Speed to Bolton in 2004 said, “To sum it up, if you had a daughter and she brought Gary Speed home you’d be delighted.” Other �itting tributes came from former Leeds teammate Gordon Strachan, “I am going to miss his laugh. He had a child-like laugh. I’ll forget the goals but I will never forget his laugh. I said to Gary McAllister, ‘I’m never going to hear that again’.” As well as tributes from fellow professionals, the sheer volume of fans in mourning who have turned up to their respective stadiums to lay wreaths, shirts, �lags and scarves has been humbling. It is perhaps the greatest tribute to the sort of man Gary Speed was that he instilled in the fans that he was ‘one of them’. Many fans recalled personal encounters with Speed which emphasises the humility and down to earth personality of the man. Speaking to The Chronicle, Ian Scott from Gosforth recalled a particularly touching meeting, when the former Magpies mid�ielder came to visit his son, who was seriously ill in hospital: “David was in a cubicle on his own and Gary came in with a few other players. They all had a chat and left but then �ive minutes later Gary came back by himself. “He stayed with David for the next 40 minutes asking how he was and teasing him, asking him if he had a girlfriend and so on. He seemed such a nice man, just such a genuine bloke. When we heard the news on Sunday

It is safe to say that nobody could have foreseen the tragic news that arrived on the morning of Sunday November 27. Gary Speed is a man who to people of our generation has become synonymous with football. A title winner with Leeds in 1992, Speed then spent the next 16 seasons accumulating over 500 Premier League appearances for Leeds, Everton, Newcastle United and Bolton Wanderers. In 2008 he left the Premier League to join Shef�ield United whom he went on to manage, before the Welshman took over the reins of his national team in 2010. The fact that he was appointed after just six months of domestic managerial experience shows the reverence that Speed had earned in the country of his birth. A clean-cut, family man who was well-known for being a popular �igure on the sporting circuit, Speed was already a national hero in becoming the most-capped out�ield player in Welsh football history. In the county that he grew up in – Flintshire – Speed was one of very few to have made the grade at the top level. Mancot, the village he was born in, boasts just one other famous exfootballer in Kevin Ratcliffe, while his secondary school, Hawarden High School, proudly lists Speed and Michael Owen as being amongst their alumni. However, save for a few notable exceptions, there are few other local sportsmen to look up to. Given Speed’s persona he was an ideal role model for youngsters in the area, and he had appeared at local football clubs to present awards. When he became Wales manager it was clear that he faced a dif�icult task, but his last four games in charge brought three wins and propelled them up the FIFA World Rankings from a record low of 117th place into the top 50. At the age of just 42 he had a successful managerial career to look forward to, and with the World Cup Quali�iers due to start next season many Welshmen were looking forward to a realistic challenge for a Finals spot. The outpouring of grief on news of his tragic death showed the huge respect and admiration that people had for Gary Speed and the reaction of fans up and down the country, particularly those in Wales at the Swansea versus Aston Villa match that occurred just days later proved this. As they stood to observe a minute’s silence, fans began to applaud instead, chanting his name. It was a �itting tribute to a man who was held in such high regard, not just by supporters but his fellow professionals too. The sentiment from that game has been echoed around stadiums across the country. For a man that only ever turned out for �ive clubs, it is testament to his character that every club will want to pay their respects.

we felt terrible.” A lifelong fan of Leeds United, recalled how when Speed had just broken through the youth set up at the side, he went to the players house to ask for free tickets. Speed lived with a few of the �irst team players at the time, but of course, it was the Welshman who came out and did not hesitate in providing tickets for the young fan. Tributes from the fans have been overwhelming; Leeds United fans sang the players name for 11 consecutive minutes last Tuesday in their Championship game against Nottingham Forest, and at the time of writing there are huge tributes to the player planned at St James’ Park and Elland Road that will commemorate the loss of one of the games true gentlemen.

Harry Slavin Sports Editor The sheer volume of tributes pouring in for Gary Speed last week from his former clubs showed the high regard in which all sets of fans held him, no matter which teams’ jersey he was pulling on. All sets of fans that were lucky enough to see Speed turnout for their club have spent time and thought working out the best way to pay tribute to the late Wales manager, and Newcastle United are no exception. Speed made 213 league appearances on Tyneside between 1998 and 2004, appearing in two FA Cup �inals for the Magpies as well as enjoying Champions League football. The Welshman was an extremely popular �igure during his spell in the North

East and the reaction of his former teammates and coaches have ampli�ied the impact which Speed had, not only on the pitch, but off it as well. Current player’s such as Shola Ameobi and Steven Taylor have expressed their shock and sadness at the death of man they looked up to during their inaugural years in professional football, but it is perhaps the reaction of his closest Newcastle teammates, Shay Given and Alan Shearer, that stress just how big a loss Speed is to the footballing community. While the original plans to commemorate Speed by Newcastle United have been postponed at the request of his wife Louise, who wishes to attend the club’s tribute, the reaction from the fans on Saturday in their match against Chelsea highlighted their recognition of the loss of a true legend.

THE COURIER Monday December 5 2011

sportfeature

Best of British: Who will be crown

With the 10-man shortlist announced last week, The Courier Sport looks at the

The arrival of Christmas brings with it many traditions; the story of the nativity, far too much shopping, Fenwick’s window display and a train home for many university students. For the sporting world, however, it is also a time to look back on the year that has passed and recognise the achievements of some of sport’s biggest names. Every year the BBC Sports Personality of the Year is chosen. Since 2006, a shortlist of 10 has been drawn up by the editors of many regional and national media publications and then the �inal winner is voted for by the public. For the �irst time this year, the awards ceremony will be broadcast live from Media City in Salford Quays, with the winner to be announced on Thursday 22 December. As ever, there is a strong �ield of personalities to choose from and picking an overall winner from this year’s all-male shortlist will be dif�icult. The Courier has taken a look at the 10 candidates in with a chance of receiving the coveted award and assessed their chances of winning:

Luke Donald

Beth Slinn

haps, is that despite having played in almost twenty Open championships without a win, Clarke never lost sight of his dream. Personal tragedy struck in 2006 with the death of his wife, but this didn’t sti�le his determination either and he persevered to �inally take the Claret Jug and clinch his maiden major title with a three-shot victory. The veteran golfer managed to hold off the experience of Americans Dustin Johnson and Phil Mickelson by �inishing �ive under par, writing one of the greatest sport stories of the year and one of the most emotional that golf has produced.

Darren Clarke

Despite being the eldest contender of the shortlisted top 10, Darren Clarke is 2-1 to win this year’s BBC Sports Personality of the Year Award after clinching his �irst major gol�ing championship – The Open – at Royal St George’s in July. Clarke’s victory rounded off an incredible 13 months for Northern Irish golf after the successes of Graeme McDowell and Rory McIlroy at the US Open. It is the 43-year-old’s achievements, however, that resonate most amongst fans, as not only has he become the �irst British winner of the Open in over a decade, but he is now the �irst man from Northern Ireland to triumph in the competition since Fred Daly in 1947. What is more remarkable, per-

Andrew Josh Duf�ield

The year 2011 was an outstanding one for English Test cricket, in no small part attributable to the captain Andrew Strauss. Not only did England kick off the year by retaining the Ashes, batting well and notching their highest score on Australian soil (644) in the �inal test, they were also crowned number one in the world after a convincing 4-0 series win over incumbent leaders India in the summer; this all within two years of the team �loundering to sixth in the Test rankings. Strauss retired from the shortened form of the game to concentrate on the Test side, resigning his ODI and T20 captaincy and was therefore absent from the side who crumbled to a series defeat in India this autumn. This retirement came after a poor ICC World Cup in which England lost to Ireland and Bangladesh in the group stage before being knocked out by Sri Lanka. Despite the poor results, England overcame South Africa and recorded a thrilling tie with

Miles Reah

Luke Donald’s rise to world number one has been nothing short of extraordinary this year. The Hemel Hempstead- b o r n golfer’s consistency has been the key to him overtaking fellow Englishman Lee Westwood in the rankings to become the world’s best. He is on the cusp of making history by becoming the �irst golfer to top the money lists in Europe and America with one tournament left to play in December. While he is still lacking the �irst major that he craves, it surely can’t be long until this comes. His conduct on and off the pitch is exemplary and he is a role model for any aspiring profes-

hosts India and Strauss’s form with the bat was strong, knocking 158 in the match against India. The 3-1 Ashes victory was England’s �irst in Australia since 1987 and helped to erase the memories of recent humiliations at the hands of the Aussies. Strauss was in�luential throughout with the bat and passed the 6,000 run mark during the series. The series against India showed England’s progress under the combined in�luence of Strauss and head coach Andy Flower (who has just been awarded UK Coach of the Year for his efforts) as England dominated a side containing Rahul Dravid and Sachin Te n d u l ka r, the two leading run scorers in Test

Mark Cavendish

sional sportsmen, never mind golfers. He lets his golf do the talking on the course, an approach that has led to him being rewarded with numerous well-respected awards within the game. He has become the second Englishmen ever after Nick Faldo to win the PGA Player of the Year award along with the Vardon trophy for the lowest scoring average on the tour. His fellow professionals’ admiration for his excellent short game play in and around the greens as well as his ability to never miss a fairway has been well documented. Surely a sportsperson who has dominated their �ield so much within the year cannot be overlooked for the most prestigious honour in British sport?

Alastair Cook Liam Turnbull-Brown Alastair Cook has enjoyed an outstanding year, playing a key role in a very successful 12 months for English cricket. First, he was instrumental in the 2010-11 Ashes series as England beat Australia by three tests to one, becoming the �irst England team to win the Ashes in Australia in 24 years. He enjoyed some of the best batting form of his career in the process, scoring a staggering 766 runs over the series and becoming its highest run-scorer. He hit three centuries throughout the series, including a historic 235 not out in the second Test, and he had the highest batting average of any player on either side with 127.66. In the �inal test, Cook reached a career total of 5,000 runs, becoming the seccricket. What stood out throughout the series was England’s professionalism and their approach to �ielding, which was several levels above the tourists. The steady rise throughout the year was complemented by some excellent individual displays and some tactical brilliance from Strauss who thoroughly deserves to be crowned BBC Sports Personality of the Year.

Freddie Caldwell

There are few British sportspeople who can claim to have dominated their sport like Mark Cavendish has done with sprint cycling. Earlier this year, Cavendish became the �irst Briton to win the Maillot Vert at the Tour de France which is arguably the highest honour in the sport. At only 26, the cyclist from the Isle of Man is already sixth on the all-time list of stage winners and renowned as the best sprint cyclist in the world. Unfortunately, road race cycling is not a particularly popular sport in Britain; this is probably due to the relative lack of success in recent years. However, this is changing due to the efforts of Cavendish and a few others such as Bradley Wiggins and Geraint Thomas. ond youngest player to do so. England then humiliated India with a 4-0 Test series whitewash, overtaking them in the process to become the World’s best test cricketing side according to the ICC rankings. Cook was also appointed captain of England’s one-day team, immediately leading them to a series victory over World Champions India. Cook’s amazing

Mike Fuller Amir Khan has had to work hard to rebuild his reputation after losing his �irst world title in such damning fashion, but this nomination for Sports Personality suggests he may have succeeded. Since being unexpectedly and brutally knocked out by Breidis Prescott within a minute, Khan has needed to continually prove himself to restore his credibility. This year the Olympic silver medalist has impressed by defending his WBA light welterweight title twice against Paul McCloskey and Zab Judah whilst gaining the IBF title in the process. He faces Lamont Peterson this Saturday in what has been dubbed the Capital Showdown, which will either enhance his chances of winning the award or discount him completely, but victory over Peterson would, more important-

All three joined forces for Great Britain in the Men’s Road Race at the World Championships this year and they were able to secure a win for Cavendish which ensured he became Britain’s �irst road race World Champion since 1965. Cavendish has frequently described himself as “the best sprinter in the world”, which is either con�ident or arrogant depending on your point of view. The majority of sports interviews tend to be rather bland but this is not the case if they involve Cavendish who is not afraid to let emotion come into his answers. Not only is he the best at what he does but he is also an interesting personality and consequently should be a strong contender. success in 2011 has been acknowledged on many levels; for his Ashes contribution he was named as ‘Player of the Series’ and England’s ‘Most Valuable Player’ over the summer, and he was also rewarded with an MBE. In short, Alastair Cook has had an incredible year, and to win BBC Sports Personality of the Year would be both fully deserved and the jewel in the crown of a �ine 2011.

ly, further consolidate his position in one of the most competitive weight divisions in boxing. Also taken into account was his spectacular �ight against Marcos Maidana in late December last year; an enthralling 12-round duel that won the Harry Markson award for the �ight of 2010. Khan, along with Carl Froch, is widely considered to be one of Britain’s best pound for pound �ighters right now. He is perhaps an outsider to win SPOTY due to his lack of popularity among the general public for perceived arrogance and driving offences, but he has had an excellent year and would be a deserving winner.

THE COURIER Monday December 5 2011

featuresport

ed Sports Personality of the Year?

e nominees for the prestigious award and assesses their chances of winning it Mo Farah

Andy Murray

Owen Evans

Dan Reed

The shortlisting of Mo Farah for Sports Personality of the Year 2011 is testament to his incredible year in athletics. Somalia-born Farah has managed to place British longdistance running on the world map thanks to his performances this year. Versatile runner Farah, who moved to England when he was eight years old, started the year fantastically well by breaking the European 5,000m indoor record. He followed this in March when he won gold in the 3,000m European Indoor Championships. The real success of the 28-yearold’s year, however, came in the 2011 World Championships in athletics which were held in Daegu, South Korea. Farah �irst took silver in the 10,000m event, before achieving a gold medal in the 5,000m.

I know reading this, many of you will be perplexed at hearing ‘Andy Murray’ and ‘personality’ in the same sentence; waiting for him to smile is like waiting for Haley’s comet and the chances are you’ll sneeze and miss it. However, 2011 has seen Murray in a brand new light. He �inished the season ranked world number four behind only Novak Djokovic, Rafael Nadal and Roger Federer which makes him the best tennis player in the UK and given his results this year it is clear why. He won the Western and Southern Open, Thailand Open and the Rakuten Japan Open, being the �irst person to beat Nadal this year, and consistently �inished within the top four for the majority of the season. On top of this, his media pro�ile has boomed this year. His contributions

Dai Greene Charlie Scott Online Sports Editor

David “Dai” Greene: current World, European and Commonwealth 400m hurdles gold medalist Having grown up in his native Wales, Dai’s �irst love was for football and he looked set to make a career out of it as part of Swansea’s academy, before knee injuries prevented him from continuing to play for the club. Swansea’s loss, however, was to be GB Athletics’ gain, and despite initially struggling to stamp his mark on the European stage due to his epilepsy, careful management of his condition over the past three years has allowed him to come off his medicine and shave nearly two seconds off his personal best. After enjoying a hugely successful

This fantastic achievement gave him the honour of being the �irst British man to win a longdistance gold in a global competition. To cap off this tremendous year, Farah won the men’s two-mile race at

the Great North City Games, before being awarded the Athlete of the Year accolade from the British Athletics Writers’ Association. Mo Farah has every chance of topping his last 12 months by winning Sports Personality of the Year, having cemented himself as one of the �inest longdistance runners in the world; an achievement which would set him up nicely for success at the London Olympics next year.

twelve months, the 400m hurdler has gone from being a European challenger to a genuine world-beater. Dai ran a fantastic �inal straight to secure gold ahead of some illustrious rivals in the 400m hurdles �inal in the World Championships in Daegu back in September, with that victory meaning he currently holds the World, European and Commonwealth titles for the 400m hurdles. With the London Olympics on the horizon, Dai’s career appears to be peaking at the perfect time and under the tutelage

of respected coach Malcolm Arnold, he can look to realistically challenge for a medal come the summer. The 25-year-old has a gruelling few months ahead of him but knows that if he is standing holding a gold medal at the Olympic Stadium come August, all the hard work he has put in over the years will have been worth it.

Rebecca Adlington, Britain’s most successful rower in history, Kath Grainger, and four times Ironman champion Chrissie Wellington, is truly disgraceful. Considering we live in constant fear of political correctness, it really is surprising there isn’t even a token gesture anywhere on the list, although the outraged sportswomen would rather not feature on the list than be there for the sake of appeasing the masses, to paraphrase Wellington’s tweets. Worse still, culpability is being shifted around the media with no one person or institution claiming responsibility due to the nature of how the list is constructed. The �inal shortlist is a collaboration of many national publications and already several newspapers are claiming they did in fact include women in their nominations, yet it has been revealed magazines Nuts and Zoo did not. Adding insult to injury, The Guardian and The Telegraph have responded

to this revelation offering an alternative women’s sports personality list, but frankly what use is this? British female athletes continue to outperform their male rivals and this attempt by the newspapers is beyond patronising. Instead, the media need to address the problem at the heart of this: the continued lack of publicity and coverage of successful sportswomen; it is a problem only the media themselves can solve. Whilst I may run the risk of sounding like a feminist, this is without question a huge step back for women in the sports world who

Rory McIlroy Harry Slavin Sports Editor

Rory McIlroy caught the attention of the entire gol�ing world this year by producing some of the best golf seen by a British player in major tournaments in years. McIlroy �irst caused a stir with his impressive opening rounds at the US Masters in Augusta in April, becoming the youngest player ever to lead the tournament after the �irst day and taking a three shot lead into the �inal days play. Admittedly the 22-year old did go on to throw away a four shot lead on the �inal day, culminating in the worst round ever hit by a Masters leader but his response from this disappointment is what makes him a front runner for the award of SPOTY as the Irishman bounced back to claim

to charity have also seen Murray transform this year. Whilst he won’t be winning any Oscars for his performance in the Red Nose Day ‘Outnumbered’ special, it was refreshing to watch him laugh at himself and mock his supposed persona and this is only one of many examples of his public contributions. No one can dispute or forget that he’s still one of the UK’s most successful sportsmen and fully deserves this coveted award. the US Open title in record breaking fashion in June.

We need some more girls in here? Grace Harvey Online Sports Editor

Last week, the BBC announced the 2011 Sports Personality of the Year shortlist celebrating the incredible year of 10 very worthy athletes, yet no one was prepared for the media backlash after the controversial decision was made to feature no female nominees; the �irst time this has happened since the method of voting was changed in 2006. Since this realisation, Twitter, Facebook and various other social media forums have been bombarded with outrage, disgust and anger, not only towards the BBC but also towards the wider media. Since the award started over 50 years ago, over a dozen women have received the title, most recently Zara Philips in 2006, but it is shocking that there is not a single woman on the shortlist this year. Truth be told, their failure to recognise and reward athletes like Olympic and Commonwealth gold medallist

are already unjusti�iably under-publicized in the media. It’s dif�icult to accuse Nuts and Zoo of being deliberately sexist but it doesn’t make sense that in 2011 the sporting world has decided to not honour exceptional athletes. Yet I assure you all this is not merely a question of gender and the issues stem beyond the lack of women. Looking to the men that have been nominated, it’s again clear there are more discrepancies on the list. Jenson B u t to n , the world number

two Formula One driver, is nowhere to be seen, whilst world tennis number four, Andy Murray, who has failed to perform as consistently as Button, has made the list. Both compete against sporting giants; Button’s absence from the list fails to make sense. Great Britain’s rugby and football players have been tarred, through the media’s own doing, by their off-pitch performances. Yes, these antics are inexcusable, but there was no consideration for the outstanding performance from the Welsh rugby players despite making the 3/4th place playoff in the World Cup earlier this year. Britain is overwhelmed with phenomenal athletes and, of course, condensing the list into 10 individuals is an extremely dif�icult task. This is not to discredit those on the list, but in 2011 in the sporting world we should be able to expect that there is fair and equal recognition for these extraordinary individuals. All Photos: Getty Images

THE COURIER Monday December 5 2011

sportfeature

London and Team GB set to Excel in Olympics as new arena testing reaches its second phase James Docherty London 2012: a phrase that inspires excitement or revulsion in even the most partisan person. With the games now only seven months away, preparations are accelerating to ensure a successful event takes place. Last weekend the Excel became the latest venue to begin testing its facilities and ensure everything from timings to equipment is adequate. Boxing, table tennis and fencing have completed their events, with the events for four more sports scheduled to take place in the next two weeks. This is part of the second phase of testing, with 23 out of 45 sports now having completed their events in venues such as Hyde Park, the Horse Guards’ Parade and Lord’s Cricket Ground – all of which will be used for

the Olympics. While some test events have been specially created, others are making use of already calendared tournaments. Wembley Arena held the World Badminton Championships, the British Swimming Championships will take place at the Aquatics Centre and the Olympic Stadium’s readiness for athletics will be tested by 1500 students descending on it for the BUCS Championships in May 2012. At the three events taking place last weekend, Great Britain’s performance surpassed expectations, winning �ive golds and a bronze at the boxing and a team gold at the fencing. The excellent boxing result is a testament to the coaching and facilities on offer in Shef�ield, giving great hope that the team can surpass their total of three medals at Beijing. In the fencing, the �irst day of competition was a disappointment for

The Excel London was the latest venue to be tested prior to the 2012 Olympics Photo: Getty Images

Back of the net Video of the week

Team GB’s Fencing A Team celebrate on the podium inside the new Excel Arena Photogaphy: James Docherty

Britain, with only Richard Kruse making it into the quarter-�inals, losing to eventual champion Gerek Meinhardt of the USA. In the �inals, a clean sweep by the USA looked likely until Tommaso Lari of Italy fought back to capture the bronze. In the team events, the two Great Britain teams had a horri�ic draw, with the �irst team taking on China and the second team Italy who are currently ranked 2nd and 1st in the world respectively. However, in this tournament, Italy had not sent their top fencers, giving the B team hope that an upset could be on the cards. Both teams started brightly, with the scores close throughout the tense

youngster interrupted the interview with the classic kid’s response of “can we go home now?” Despite his past in children’s television, Humphrey failed to convince him that staying would be worth it.

Compiled by Charlie Scott

Birthday Week

With no bad umpiring decisions or mis�ields to complain about, injured Durham and England cricketer Ben Stokes turns his rage towards the well-know chain pub’s Tuesday cuisine instead.

8 Dec 1986- Amir Khan Great Britain’s youngest ever boxing Olympic medallist when he won silver at Athens in 2004, Khan has gone on to become one of, if not the best, light welterweight boxers in the world.

-@benstokes38 “2 weeks in a row ive gone to Weatherspoons steak night and they havnt had the rib-eye in, some steak night you gimps” (29 November 2011)

1.) Can you name the four out�ield players who have been called into the England squad since 2000 but who, to date, have never won an international cap? 2.) How many runs did Sri Lankan cricketer Marvan Atapattu score in his �irst six test innings? 3.) Who is the only Premier League footballer to have both scored and assisted more than 100 goals? 4.) Who holds the records for most Olympic medals ever won? 5.) Which former Premier League footballer has been sent off for three different clubs in the Champions League?

1) Jimmy Bullard, Curtis Davies, Ryan Shawcross and David Wheater; 2) One; 3) Ryan Giggs; 4) Larisa Latynina (18); 5) Patrick Vieira

Formula 1 is clearly not everyone’s cup of tea, particularly the son of Brazilian football legend Ronaldo. As Jake Humphrey and Eddie Jordan interviewed his famous Dad prior to the �inal race of the season, the

lent hitting from the team of Kruse, Kenber, Halstead and Jeffries, leaving the Russians without an answer. Kruse stepped onto the piste with the team 40-32 ahead and put on a show of sublime bladework to take the gold 45-34 and provide a much-needed boost to the morale of British Fencing in the run up to the games. As well as testing the functional aspects of venues, these events have given some Olympic Sports muchneeded publicity in the lead-up to July 2012. Team GB’s successes should be celebrated, but praise to all those behind the scenes should also be given as these events show London is more than ready and capable of holding an unforgettable spectacle next year.

Tweet of the week

Testing times Ronaldo’s son doesn’t like Formula One -http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6PL1qU3DXsA

quarter-�inals. Eventually, the British B team scored a fabulous upset, beating Italy 45-44, and the A team won through in a 45-43 nail-biter. This meant Britain couldn’t do worse than a bronze, but this was clearly not on their minds during their semi-�inals against France and Russia, with the As dismantling the French 45-25 and the Bs showing some great determination, keeping the Russians at bay until the seventh match of nine, when a bout of cramp for Marcus Mepstead allowed the Russians to close the gap and pull ahead, eventually winning 45-42. In the bronze match, sadly the Bs were no match for a vengeful French team, losing 45-27. A stronger performance came from the As, with excel-

This week in history

Dec 8 2010, Stan Calvert: The decision was made to postpone the Stan Calvert Cup day due to bad weather in the city. Dec 9 1998, BUCS: Newcastle were celebrating after winning the BUSA/ Halifax Northern Rugby League for the second year running. Dec 9 2000, National: A Ray Parlour hat-trick (that’s not a typo) inspires Arsenal to a 5-0 victory over Newcastle in the Premier League. Dec 10 1995, World: Ricky Ponting makes 96 on his Test Cricket debut for Australia against Sri Lanka.

7 Dec 1980- John Terry England’s brave captain and former Daddies sauce ‘Dad of the Year’. 7 Dec 1984- Robert Kubica The �irst Polish Formula One driver.

The Longshot

Amir Khan to beat Lamont Peterson in their �ight for the WBA and IBF light-welterweight titles on December 11. Khan has 18 knockouts from his previous 26 bouts, with a vast majority of those knockouts coming before the seventh round. The odds for Khan to win in Round Six are a generous 12/1. (Odds from William Hill)

12/1

THE COURIER Monday December 5 2011

These teams fall like Dynamos Last week Online Sports Editor Charlie Scott spent Wednesday afternoon with the Third Division’s bottom club Newcastle Dynamos, as they took on fellow strugglers Combined Honours

Intra Mural Football Division Three (Weds) Newcastle Dynamos

Combined Honours

IntraMuralsport

The Secret Intra Mural Footballer #8 Tactics, facial hair and proverbs

Charlie Scott at Redhall Drive Established by club captain Neal Lees in 2011, Newcastle Dynamos have endured a somewhat uninspiring start to their foray into 11-a-side Intra Mural football, suffering six defeats in their opening six games. With the Dynamos taking on second from bottom Combined Honours last Wednesday, The Courier went along to see if the side could gain their �irst win of the season in this highly-anticipated clash. Dynamos had every reason to be optimistic going into the game, having been cruelly robbed of their �irst win of the season two weeks ago, when, despite winning a game 5-1, the opposition declared the result void due to a lack of an of�icial referee. Upon arriving at Redhall Drive, I was surprised by the professionalism of a Dynamos side that would have every reason to be low in team morale. Instead I was met with a squad joking around while completing a more comprehensive warm-up than most teams I’ve seen at Intra Mural level. Dynamos captain Lees spoke before the game of his disappointment at the absence of players through injury and illness, with some dropping out on the very morning of the game, but remained con�ident in his side’s chances of getting a win, speaking of his anticipation of a “good game, particularly with the quality of our squad.” A pre-match team-talk from Lees that involved repeated use of the phrase ‘run your bollocks off’, seemed to inspire his side, with lone-striker and top-scorer Gary ‘The Sniper’ Cook in particular possessing a steely glint in his eye as he took to the �ield. Sources within the dressing room/ stood next to me on the sidelines suggested that the decision to play ‘The Sniper’ alone up top was the right one, and that despite Lewis Donkin’s self-

Dynamos narrowly missed out on their ﬁrst point of the season Photography: Charlie Scott

con�idence, he apparently “doesn’t have the necessary goal-scoring ability to lead the line up front.” The same source was also responsible for Donkin’s rival ‘The Sniper’s’ addition the club... An impeccably observed minute’s silence in memory of the Newcastle legend Gary Speed preceded kick-off, with Combined Honours showing their respect by wearing black armbands over their shirts. Dynamos started the game brightly with Lees coming closest to opening the scoring with a long range effort that �lashed narrowly wide, but Combined Honours were also creating chances and should have gone a goal up when Fred (like the Brazilian, apparently) was put clean through but could only �ire his shot into the side netting. On the sidelines, Josh Kirk and Sam Cartright were happy to provide me with some nuggets of Dynamos trivia, the pick of the bunch being that the club have used �ive different goalkeepers already this season while struggling to deal with the injury that �irst-choice keeper Michael Pilau picked up pre-season.

At half-time, Lees allowed The Courier exclusive access to listen in on his team-talk. Despite the match being goalless, the squad were in high spirits and Lees in particular realised that the game was “there for the taking.” His encouraging words seemed to do the trick as Dynamos were the �irst back on the pitch, with some players even running back on. Centre-back Paul Jackson seemed particularly invigorated by Lees words, shouting: “Did you hear that? That’s a motivational manager for you” towards me as he ran back onto the pitch. Early in the second half, Dynamos left-back Charles provided a memorable moment for the on-looking fans. Volunteering to take a free-kick on the edge of the area, he cradled the ball in his arms, kissed it lovingly, and placed it down on the turf - then shot wildly over. Disastrously for Dynamos, Honours then took the lead against the run of play, courtesy of Christopher Gill, and it looked as if all their hard work in the previous hour may have gone to waste. Despite switching from their �luid 4-3-3 to a more rigid 4-4-2, throwing

the kitchen sink at the Honours backline in the �inal stages of the game, and having a header �ly back off the bar, no breakthrough was forthcoming and Dynamos ended the game on the losing side for the seventh time this season. As the team trudged off the pitch rather dejectedly, Lees was quick to praise his players, rightly telling them that it was “a good effort” and that they were “unfortunate to lose”. Second-half substitute Josh Kirk described himself as ‘gutted’ and claimed that: “If you don’t buy a ticket, you don’t win the raf�le.” I’m not quite sure how that analogy works in this situation, but the sad sentiment is there for all to see. Dynamos continue their quest for a win, and with Lees at the helm and squad morale still surprisingly high, it has become more a question of when, rather than if, they will secure a win this season. While drowning their sorrows at Tiger Tiger, the team can take solace from the fact that, when sitting bottom of the bottom division, literally the only way is up.

ly harsh on Leazes, the result was never in doubt as Barca barely had to move up the gears to seal the win. It was Barca who began the game brighter, passing the ball around well as they dominated possession. Jamie Hurworth was the bene�iciary of the good play and went through on goal on two occasions but Alex Blo�ield made superb last-ditch tackles to keep the score level. Leazes began to grow into the game and could have taken the lead through Phil Mulhall who had a free kick tipped over the bar. However, on the half-hour mark, the league’s top scorer Jamie Hurworth broke the deadlock after latching on to a defensive mix-up to slot the ball into the net. The goal seemed to dent Leazes’s con�idence and �ive minutes later Mark Foley made it 2-0 after a lovely cutback from Hurworth.

The second half took a similar pattern to the �irst with Leazes ‘keeper Olly Cook making a string of good saves to keep it at 2-0. Luke Baker then spurned a great chance to pull a goal back for Leazes as his curling effort went just past the far post. That miss proved crucial as a chaotic seven minute spell lead to three goals to put the result beyond any doubt. Rick Martin got the third goal of the match as he coolly converted Matt Cryer’s through ball. Two minutes later, nobody picked up Chirs Mckee at the back post from a deep corner and he was left with the simple task of nodding the ball in. With the �loodgates well and truly open, Mark Foley got his second of the match, with a goal remarkably similar to his �irst - Hurworth again cutting the ball back for him to score.

Although the match was effectively over, Barca were in no mood to let up. Number six for Barca was probably the most simple of the lot. A long punt from the ‘keeper was allowed to bounce and James Rawlings simply headed the ball over the defence to captain Cryer to grab a goal. Five minutes from the end, Leazes’ misery was complete and James Hurworth got his second of the match from another corner to wrap up the win. This defeat, coupled with last week’s 5-2 loss to Aftermath, leaves Leazes rooted to the bottom of the table. They will certainly have to improve defensively if they are to avoid relegation. Meanwhile, Barca continue to set the pace and they will take some stopping this year.

Cochrane calamity for Leazes Intra Mural Football Division One (Weds) Barca-Law-Na

Castle Leazes

Daniel Carnie at Cochrane Park With these sides sitting at opposite ends of the table prior to kick-off, it was always going to be dif�icult for Leazes to cope with the rampant League leaders and so it proved on a dreary afternoon at Cochrane Park. Although the score line may be slight-

I for one would like to bid a not so fond farewell to Movember. As a player who struggles in the facial hair department, I found it somewhat intimidating to line up against opposition sprouting forests on their upper lip for four weeks in a row. Good riddance to bad facial hair. As November comes to an end, the Intra Mural football season edges towards its midway point and, with waistbands rarely decreasing over the Christmas period, now is the time for teams to pick up some vital points while their players are in the best shape they will be all season. Which brings me neatly on to calendars. I sit writing this on the back of what had been, up until today, a brilliant week. My team produced our best performance of the season last week, largely down to some inspired tactical decisions from our manager. Last week I extolled the virtues of the 4-2-3-1 system. Scrap that, 4-23-1 is dead, long live a high intensity 4-3-3. The smiles on my teammates’ faces as we strolled to victory was a stark change from their usual despairing facial expressions this season. There was even time for some ridiculous time-wasting/showboating at the end of our game, much to the obvious fury of the opposition and the amusement of the teams watching on the sidelines waiting for our game to �inish. My brilliant week has been overshadowed by calendars; not the steady build up of games in the Intra Mural calendar, oh no, rather the lack of a calendar of the Advent variety. Despite repeated instructions on my part, my parents decided that, for some reason or another, I didn’t deserve one this year. I rang to enquire why and was told I was old enough to buy my own. I’m sure I’m not alone in thinking this is outrageous parenting. Seeing as I don’t have the support of my family, I guess I’ll turn to my team. A few �irst-teamers missed our recent social the other day. I’ve been reliably informed that they’ll be benched as a result of this betrayal. And rightly so. There’s no point masquerading as a member of a squad if you then sack the lads off to spend time with a girlfriend when an elaborate social has been planned for weeks. As the ancient Chinese proverb says: ‘We win as a team, we lose as a team, and we sample Newcastle’s nightlife as a team.’

THE COURIER Monday December 5 2011

sportIntraMural

Barnstorming Agrics secure win

Intra Mural Rugby Union Agrics 2 New Uni Freshers

12 7

Edward Liversidge at Close House After a couple of hard matches the Agric 2s caused wild crowd celebrations with a 12-7 win over the Uni Freshers last Wednesday. The game started with a below strength Freshers side causing problems for the Agrics’ defence through the Freshers’ �ly-half. As the game progressed the Agrics began to pass the ball with con�idence, resulting in Robert Austin breaking lines from some well worked moves. Throughout the �irst half, the Agrics’ back row caused problems for the Freshers’ backs, with some strong tackling from Ed Liversidge, Mike Kendall and Charles Hartley. Agrics pressure began to mount and some strong lineouts from hooker Alex ‘Em Borton’ Poulteney coupled with aggressive play from the forwards, led by Zachary Kent, resulted in the Farmers being able to retain possession and upset the opposition line out, stealing possession on several occasions. This pressure soon resulted in the Agrics’ �irst try as forward momentum on the �ive yard line culminated in Liversidge going over for the �irst try of the match, duly converted by Grant Walker. The Agrics continued their dominance through Olly Burdass, Ally

Farm-tastic: Agrics 2 celebrate their ﬁrst try Photography: Emma Borton

Humphreys and Walker in the backs, the three of them making strong yards thanks to intricate support play. Just before the break a rushed tackle saw Angus Walby being yellow carded which saw him sin binned until the break. Some great defence from Agrics’ forward Henry Ward saw the Freshers held until the break, keeping the score at 7-0 in the 2s favour. After the break the Freshers pinned

back their opposition with some great territorial kicking from the Freshers’ 10. Some strong drives from the Freshers saw them gain momentum, which was slowed by the Agrics’ back’s defence and saw little come of their possession. Soon the Agrics were back in control but a Sonny Bill Williams pass from Dave Tavernor allowed the Freshers wing to intercept and coast over the line for an easy

converted try. The match soon turned into a very defensive affair with birthday boy Mike Kendall and Sam Stephenson punishing the opposition’s attack. In defence the Freshers held together, putting in some big hits of their own to hold the Agrics back. As the game went on a few strong drives and breaks, with secure ball from the forwards, led to captain Walker going

over in the corner with 10 minutes to go. The 2s’ mighty defence held up, forcing errors and slowing any momentum from the Freshers. This defensive wall kept �irm until the �inal whistle, leading to the Agric 2s’ second win of the season, with the Freshers still struggling to �ind their footing in the Intra Mural League.

THE COURIER Monday December 5 2011

IntraMuralsport

Life’s a breeze for ruthless Hurricanes Blustery conditions and transport issues compound Newhist’s miserable afternoon at Close House Intra Mural Football Division Two (Weds) The Hurricanes

Newhist FC

Colin Henrys at Close House A day that began with an administrative error leaving some Newhist players unable to board the coach from the Students’ Union, ended with a disappointing 4-0 defeat to The Hurricanes at Close House. After recovering from their poor start to the season with a draw and a win earlier in the month, Newhist were looking to close out November with a victory over The Hurricanes, who sat just one place above them in Division Two prior to kick off. The Hurricanes meanwhile were looking to recover from a disappointing defeat to Newcastle Medics 2nds the previous week, and thanks to goals from James Butler, Adam Duckworth, Joe Moffatt and Chris McCrory, managed to put some distance between themselves and the bottom of the table. Newhist, who had Uni Club Captain Joe Baker amongst their ranks as he bid to continue his recovery from an injury that has kept him out of action

all season, had a dif�icult start to the day however, when they arrived (with their pre-bought tickets) to board the bus to Close House. To their dismay the driver informed them that it was already full and off it left without them. To the credit of the Sports Centre though, IM Supremo Denis Murphy was on hand to rectify the error, providing free taxis for the stranded players. Nevertheless, it was not ideal for the team’s preparations and when the game began – after the players had earlier stood together to share a minute’s silence in memory of the late Gary Speed – it was The Hurricanes who started on top. Their early pressure resulted in some weak long-range shots which Newhist manager James Thornton dealt comfortably with, but The Hurricanes’ domination soon paid off when James Butler’s long-range shot beat Thornton and put them 1-0 up. With the grass in dire need of a cutting, Newhist struggled to implement their usual crisp passing game despite the presence of Baker, Luke Krumins and captain Will Broadbent in the centre of mid�ield. When the three combined they did threaten and managed to release Ray Crisp behind the defence on a couple of occasions but didn’t create any meaningful chances. At the other end, The Hurricanes continued to press with Andy Thomas and Arran Smedley constantly creating chances from the right-wing. On 35 minutes they were able to double their lead too; Duckworth shrugged

off Will Robinson to cap off a �lowing Hurricanes attack, his header just beating the defender’s despairing slide on the line. It could have got worse for Newhist before half-time too, but The Hurricanes couldn’t make their pressure pay. Centreback Rowan Northcott particularly impressed in thwarting the Blues’ attacks. After the break The Hurricanes continued to push in a bid to extend their lead, and Duckworth should have doubled his tally when he beat the Newhist’s weak offside trap, but his shot was blocked by Finn McCullough. At the other end McCullough put a great ball in to the edge of the box but Baker’s diving header looped on to the top of the net in what was probably their best chance of the game. The Hurricanes always looked the most likely to score next, but when the goal arrived it was in sensational fashion. Substitute Moffatt collected the ball on the left wing and after marauding past a couple of tame Newhist tackles the super sub �loated a sumptuous effort, which caressed the bar on its way into the top corner. Whether deliberate or not, it gave The Hurricanes an unassailable lead and three soon became four when Chris McCrory �inished low late on. Newhist could have grabbed a consolation goal late on but Harry Slavin’s cynical foul on Crisp in the penalty area went unpunished. With the Glaswegian full-back having already disgraced his nation by wearing gloves in November, he could

count himself very lucky not to have cost his team their �irst clean sheet of the season too. That shouldn’t detract from a convincing performance by The Hur-

ricanes however, and their victory showed that they have fully recovered from what had been a tumultuous start to their season.

Dyslexic, sensing that this Crayola side had improved signi�icantly from their earlier beating in the season, started to dictate play more and restored parity shortly after going behind. After a �lowing Untied move Ben Wheelhouse brought a good save from Storey only for the ball to ricochet off Priestley for an unfortunate own goal. The remainder of the half was a fairly even contest with both keepers being kept busy, but minutes before the break Crayola edged in front . A lofted long ball from Womersley was brought down sublimely by Rech who remained composed to slot past Fletcher and make it 2-1. Dyslexic manager Loz Jackson shuf�led his pack for the second half, bringing an angry captain in ‘Torres’ Windle into the heart of the defence alongside Smith. The pairing contained the Crayola front two who had kept Smith’s hands full all game. A more disciplined Untied kept Crayola at bay who increasingly became frustrated in not adding a third, the roving Jack Bexon unable to pull the strings in mid�ield as he did in the �irst half. Dyslexic continued to push with twenty minutes remaining, Storey saving smartly from both Wheelhouse and Scho�ield, but it was Crayola who came closest to scoring next. Rech once again burst through and with the keeper Fletch nowhere to be seen the determined and dogged Dale Lockwood rescued Untied with a lastditch block to spurn the Geographer’s shot around the post. Smith drove Untied on and was intent on covering every blade of grass as well as �inding an equaliser. Dyslexic’s pressure was rewarded with ten

minutes to go when a Freddie Rose whipped in a corner. Smith, who was generally making a nuisance of himself in Crayola’s box, was deemed to have been pushed in the back. It takes a brave referee to give these decisions in such a tight game, luckily for Dyslexic Steve Catchpole is one such

referee who showed no hesitation in awarding the controversial penalty. Centre-half Smith stepped up and calmly stroked the ball to the left of a statuesque Storey. Crayola crumbled in the closing stages of the game and another penalty was awarded when a Freddie Rose corner �lew up on to

the hand of a Crayola defender. Smith rounded off a brilliant personal performance by slotting the ball home for the winner, putting to bed a scintillating end-to end game.

James Butler grabbed his ﬁrst goal of the season in Hurricanes’ comfortable victory Photography: Hubert Lam

Crayola hand Dyslexic late victory Intra Mural Football Division One (Weds) Dyslexic Untied

Crayola

Simon Scho�ield at Longbenton 3G Dyslexic owed their hard-earned win to the coolness of two Chris Smith penalties at the expense of a hugely impressive Crayola effort. Crayola may feel hard done by for not at least securing a point, but the battling qualities of Untied in the last �ifteen minutes ensured all the points were theirs under the lights at Longbenton 3G. Crayola captain and keeper Ben Storey set out an attacking team with intent spear headed by the enigmatic Daniel Rech. Flood-lit matches seem to have an effect of upping the ante and this match was no different with the game being fast-paced and a frantic buzz in its entirety with neat triangles and quick one-twos the order of the day. Both sides knocked the ball around with con�idence but the wide play and over lapping runs of Crayola fullbacks Adam Priestley and Tom Womersley were a constant thorn in the Reds side. Crayola took the lead when Nathan Fletcher parried Sam Turner’s shot. Rech reacted quicker than defender Adam Forster to the loose ball to �ire into an empty net.

Oh oh Os beat Magic: Jesmondino celebrate triumph over Brown Magic in characteristically exuberant style

THE COURIER Monday December 5 2011

sportIntraMural Intra Mural Hockey round-up All eight teams in Group A were in action on the 3G at Longbenton this week, with the four �ixtures producing moments of glory, controversy and despair. In the �irst �ixture of the day MLS went down 1-0 to Law School despite a new kit hoping to spark a newlook winning ethos for the decidedly �loundering side. In what proved to be a fairly evenly matched contest, it wasn’t until, with only ten minutes on the clock, Law managed to convert a short corner, giving them that valuable goal. However, in the unwritten rules of sporting etiquette in IM’s only mixed sport, Law should not have allowed a male player to take the hit against MLS’s ‘keeper Freja Binnian. Poor form! Agrics continued their unbeaten start to the season by putting �ive goals past NUTS to no reply, while second placed Oral Specialists continue to put pressure on the league leaders after winning a close game against the self-proclaimed BioSci Hockey Legends 2-1. However the stand-out performance of the weekend was undoubtedly that of Larrikins, who, inspired by the return of Newcastle graduate Tim Ward, beat Pink Panthers 9-0, propelling them into third place.

Intra Mural Netball round-up

Uni Hockey maintained their four point lead at the top of the 4-5pm table with a comfortable 16-2 win over Agrics B. The four teams in the chasing pack remain within four points of one another with Net Assets in second place with 20 points and Leazes Ladies sitting in �ifth with 16 points. At the bottom of the table RRB1 continue to enjoy themselves despite a series of uninspiring results, the latest of which being a 16-4 loss to Biology Netball. In the later league Netball Ninjas continue to sweep all before them, as NUSSC conceded a 15-0 defeat to the unbeaten league leaders. Agrics also continued their impressive form with a resounding 21-6 win over Polly’s Dollies, and now sit prettily in second place with an eight point lead over Polly’s Dollies in third. CHS secured a hard-fought 14-8 victory over Chem Eng in the division’s �inal game, with The History Girls still sat rock-bottom after having no game scheduled this week.

IM Netball heats up as Christmas approaches Photography: Briony Carlin

Football Wednesday 11-a-side

Netball 4pm-5pm

Team

Pld

Pts

Uni Hockey

Intra Mural W D L F A <<<<>>> round-up 7 6 0 1 109 40

Barca Law Na

Net Assets

Henderson Hall

Mansoc

Dyslexic Untied

Biology Netball

Newcastle Medics 1sts

Leazes Ladies

Crayola

Agrics B

CHS

RRB1

103

Division 1

Team

Aftermath

Castle Leazes

Crayola Dyslexic Untied

2 3

Aftermath Henderson Hall

1 3

Barca Law Na Castle Leazes

7 0

Top Goalscorers 9: Jamie Hurworth (Barca) 8: Chris McKee (Barca) 7: Dave Eccles (Aftermath) 5: Dave Edwards (Medics) 4: Chris Kay (Medics)

Pld

Pts 24

Mansoc CHS

14 2

Leazes Ladies Net Assets

11 14

RRB1 Biology Netball

4 16

Uni Hockey Agrics B

16 2

5pm-6pm

Division 2

Team

Pld

Pts

Netball Ninjas

Agrics

113

Team

Pld

Pts

Newcastle Medics 2nds

Polly’s Dollies

Boroussia Forsyth

CHS

Lokomotiv

Chem Eng

Ecosoccer

NUSSC

The Hurricanes

The History Girls

Newhist FC

Boca Seniors

Ar U Shavin A Laugh

Ar U Shavin A Laugh Newcastle Medics 2nds

0 6

Newhist FC Hurricanes

Ecosoccer Lokomotiv

1 5

Top Goalscorers

Boca Seniors Boroussia Forsyth

0 2

0 4

12: Zack Goddard (Ecosoccer) 10: Josh Batham (Ecosoccer) 10: Archie Norman (Forsyth) 8: Adam Duckworth (H’canes) 8: Alex Foster (Lokomotiv)

Division 3 Team

Pld

Pts

Roman Villa FC

Politic Thistle

Shagther Senseless

Brown Magic FC

Jesmondino FC

NCL Galacticos

Combined Honours

Newcastle Dynamos

CHS Chem Eng

14 Polly’s Dollies 8 Agrics

NUSSC Netball Ninjas

0 15

6 21

Rugby Union Division 1 Team

Pld

Pts

Armstrong

302

Titans

172

Southern Fairies

186

Agrics 1

126

Engines

111

104

Larrikins

114

Cheeky Ladies

115

161

Agrics 2

176

New Uni Freshers

224

Medics

209

Southern Fairies Engines

13 16

Agrics 1 Armstrong

10 56

10 6

Cheeky Ladies Titans

3 27

3 Larrikins 1 Medics

Brown Magic FC Jesmondino FC

1 3

Shagther Senseless NCL Galacticos

Newcastle Dynamos Combined Honours

0 1

Top Goalscorers

New Uni Freshers Agrics 2

Politic Thistle Roman Villa FC

0 1

9: James Dunn (P Thistle) 8: Ollie Grifﬁths (Roman Villa) 7: Lewis Cockerill (B Magic) 6: Rob Grady (Roman Villa) 6: Tom Islip (Roman Villa)

The Courier Online

7 12

Check out www.thecourieronline.co.uk every week for up-todate league tables, exclusive match reports and round-up’s of all of the University’s Intra Mural competitions.

THE COURIER Monday December 5 2011

BUCSsport

Seconds dominate thirds while fourths lose out in York Netball

Fiona Moss Netball correspondent

Newcastle 2nds Newcastle 3rds

Leeds Met defeated Newcastle in dramatic fashion at Heaton Photography: Turlough Donnelly

Met snatch last gasp win Rugby Union Newcastle 1sts Leeds Met 1sts

32 33

Nick Gabriel at Cochrane Park Despite an extraordinary late revival from Newcastle, the Royals slipped to the narrowest of defeats at the hands of Leeds Met at Heaton Sports Ground last Wednesday. Newcastle appeared down and out of the contest when they trailed by 17 points heading in to the games’ latter stages, however, an incredible spell of attacking rugby brought them into a two-point lead with �ive minutes left to play. Despite some desperate defence late on, Leeds Met went on to kick a controversial penalty in what proved to be the last action of the game, robbing the Royals of a hardfought victory by a single point. Having lost 20-9 in the return �ixture earlier in the season, the match provided Director of Rugby Tom Wilkinson with an opportunity to see just how far his side had progressed over the last two months. It was the Royals who shaded the opening exchanges, and were rewarded for taking the early initiative after 15 minutes. On this occasion, a period of sustained pressure eventually saw hooker Mungo Strachan force his way over the line. Richard Walker-Taylor was extremely unfortunate with the conversion attempt, his well struck effort hitting the upright before bouncing away. The Met side drew themselves level soon after, however, as their extremely powerful front row began to assert some dominance across the park. A

well worked lineout ten metres from the Royals tryline enabled Leeds to set up a rolling maul that cruised through the home 22. An imposing forward proceeded to break away from the mass of bodies, and score in the corner, before the resulting conversion was missed. The remainder of the �irst period was strewn with handling errors and knock-ons with both sides guilty of sloppiness in the opposition’s �inal third. As half time approached, the teams traded penalties, which were slotted comfortably by both Leeds’ �ly half and then by Newcastle’s Walker-Taylor, right on the stroke of half time. If the �irst period had been cagey and relatively uneventful, the second half was anything but. Newcastle have made a habit of producing their best rugby in the second period of their games this season, and this encounter proved no exception. They got off to a slow start, however, and conceded two converted tries within �ive minutes of the restart, owing to a couple of extremely careless clearance kicks that Leeds Met countered with ruthless precision. Trailing by 22-8, the home side eventually managed to offer a response, as a �lowing move culminated in Kel O’Hanlon touching down in the corner. Walker-Taylor was, once again, unfortunate to watch his conversion attempt drift narrowly wide of the posts. Nevertheless, the Royals’ joy was short-lived, as the Met side hit back strongly. On this occasion, a tired looking Newcastle defence was slow to react to a quickly taken penalty as the opposition winger went over to score with relative ease. The try was

well converted and the home side now found themselves 30-13 down, with 15 minutes left to play. The period of rugby that followed was quite phenomenal. As darkness began to fall on Heaton Sports Ground, the Royals mustered a brilliant exhibition of �lawless attacking rugby to which the away out�it seemingly had no response. First, Walker-Taylor was rewarded for his �ine individual performance when he was on the end of polished move to score under the posts. O’Hanlon then slotted the conversion comfortably. The away side were rattled. Moments later, the Royals reduced the de�icit further. This time, a quickly taken penalty from replacement scrumhalf Lewis Crosbie caught the Leeds defence off-guard, as quick shifting of the ball across the line eventually resulted in winger Jo Beckett touching down in the corner. Although the resulting conversion was missed, the Royals now trailed by just �ive points. The comeback was completed by outside centre Jonny Neville, who produced a delightful solo effort to score the Royals’ third try in quick succession. O’Hanlon then showed great composure to make the conversion, to give the Royals a two-point lead with �ive minutes left to play. Despite some resolute defence late on, the home side were cruelly denied their hard-earned victory following the referee’s decision to award a harsh penalty in favour of the Met out�it, directly in front of the posts.

The simple kick proved to be the last action of an enthralling game, as the Royals ultimately fell at the �inal hurdle. Speaking after the game, Wilkinson, understandably, cut the �igure a broken man. “I’m absolutely devastated,” he exclaimed. “To lose it in the way that we did, is absolutely gutting”. In spite of the loss, he was quick to praise his players. “The lads showed fantastic heart out there today,” he said. “We just need to pick ourselves up, and make sure we give Leeds a game next time out”. Impressive captain Richard WalkerTaylor directs proceedings Photography: Turlough Donnelly

35 20

Late Wednesday afternoon the sports hall played host to one of the most anticipated matches of the season for these two teams. Facing their fellow club mates, the girls looked, with trepidation, to how the �ixture would unfold. Although the late arrival of the lost umpire didn’t help with the players’ nerves, the two teams stepped on court focused and ready for what was, �irst and foremost, another crucial BUCS match. The seconds pushed ahead, forcing their club mates immediately onto the back foot, with effortless shooting from player of the match Stephanie Blain and fantastic defensive skills from Lauren Barnett. As the game progressed, the 3rds picked off numerous turnovers in defence and the team’s player of the match, Rachel Brown, provided great link up play down the court. However unforced errors saw a visible divide appear in the score line. Throughout the match all the girls maintained a highly competitive spirit despite playing against their fellow club members. The �inal score saw a decisive victory for the second team, who now �ind themselves at the top of the table, leap-frogging rivals Leeds.

York 2nds Newcastle 4ths

42 40

After a hectic journey, the team arrived with only ten minutes before they were due on court. Even though this resulted in a slow start from the team, they were able to maintain an even score line. Only in the third quarter did the girls fully �ind a pattern of play that they were comfortable with, however by this point they were trailing by six. With help from Pippa Jackson, player of the match, and her outstanding shooting, they were able to �ight back and even the game out, going into the fourth quarter all square. However, mistakes meant that the win slipped away from them and they were left on the wrong side of the 40-42 score line. An unlucky match for a team who all showed a passion to win and hopefully this �ighting mentality will be taken into the matches in the New Year.

Two Newcastle sides faced off at the sports centre Photography: Sam Tyson

THE COURIER Monday December 5 2011

sportBUCS

Windy woes for seconds after two early goals confirm Durham defeat Men’s Football

Newcastle 2nds Durham 2nds

0 2

Joshua Duffield at Longbenton The Royals continued their sluggish start to the season with a home defeat to neighbouring Durham in a match strongly affected by the gale force winds at Longbenton. The home team put themselves on the back foot right from the start, conceding in the game’s opening minutes and were ultimately unable to find a way back into the game despite an improved second half display. The Royals’ downcast manager stated after the game that the opposition wanted the win more and that his team could have performed much better. The Durham players will think themselves fortunate to have come away with all three points however, after a lacklustre showing. Conceding almost straight from kick-off, the home team had an uphill battle from the off and having to play the first half into the wind made their task no easier. Weston, in the Royals’ goal, was tested several times as his defence failed to adequately protect him and the away side made full use of the extra man in midfield, playing 4-5-1 against the home team’s more orthodox 4-4-2. Durham’s spare man was able to stab home for the second goal after excellent last-ditch blocks from Kurran Dhugga and keeper Weston. It would be unfair to overly criticise the Royals’ defence though as Luke Fisher and Dhugga both put in solid performances. Fisher was solid at centre-half for Newcastle and became a creative hub as the game wore on, despite making a reckless challenge when drawn out wide for which he rightly received a booking. Dhugga was also a useful attacking outlet down the right but unfortunately left the pitch injured with half an hour to play. After the break, with the wind at their backs, Newcastle lifted their

game and Mike Spencer seemed to be winning every tackle and loose ball. Spencer also found time and space for a couple of volleys, one of which looked destined for the back of the net before a Durham defender launched his body in its path. Forward Nathan Campbell also had a particularly impressive second period and was unlucky twice not to beat the shaky Durham keeper; centreback Adam Gamble twice tested him from nearly 40 yards and on both occasions the away side’s stopper failed to hold on to the ball. The Royals piled on the pressure with numerous set pieces, all of which were driven in by Paddy Stokle who forced the nervous Durham goalie to deflect one of his corners onto the bar. The away team had only one chance of note during a sustained period of Newcastle pressure but Weston was forced into an excellent save. Weston was tested so infrequently that he was arguably more influential going forward, delivering two pinpoint passes to winger Henry Scutt and would have claimed an assist had Scutt been able to convert either opportunity. The second team have had a difficult start to the season and with Christmas fast approaching they could do with a win soon to start heading away from the foot of the table.

Despite improving by the second half, the Royals just weren’t good enough to sneak past Durham. Photography: Moises Bedrossian

League Table

1 2 3 4 5 6

Sheffield 2nds Pts: 13 Durham 3rds Pts: 9 York 2nds Pts: 6 Northumbria 3rds Pts: 5 Newcastle 2nds Pts: 4 Northumbria 4ths Pts: 2

For all league tables, fixtures and results go to www.bucs.org.uk

NWR stunning run continues

Women’s Rugby Newcastle 1sts Manchester 1sts

41 7

Sophie Raine at Cochrane Park After the seconds’ game was cancelled due to weather, all fingers were crossed that the unpredictable weather didn’t turn on NWR’s first team playing their most important game of the season on home turf. Thankfully the pitch was in a somewhat safe state to play on, no divots causing injuries this week. By winning this game NWR would continue their undefeated record and keeping themselves comfortably at the top of the league. The rain started to pour down but fortunately stopped before kick-off. The players were ready for what should be a tough match following

pre game talks from Captain Phoebe Lebrecht and Coach Scott. It was never going to be an easy game but NWR started off on the front foot with a score from newly appointed number 12 Rosie Neal scoring the first try of the game. This wasn’t converted, but the tries kept coming with NWR using skills learnt at Monday night’s training, rucking over and wining the majority of the ruck possession. The only break from the onslaught for Liverpool was handling errors, which led to the concession of turnovers. The front pack kept their good score of line-outs up and winning scrums. The white line fever set back in for number eight Holly Malins who scored her first try of her hat-trick soon after Neal’s try. This was successfully converted by Phoebe Lebrecht. NWR’s skill and pace forced holes in Liverpool’s defence leaving a space

for fly half Lebrecht to side step and score another try, making it 17-0. The restarts were turned over by the forward back who didn’t show any signs of missing regular prop Charlotte Flint and kept the ball, gaining a line out on the 22. This allowed for the forward back to use their strength and pace to drive flanker and vicecaptain Sophie Bale over try line for the last score of the half, leaving the pitch at half time with a score of 22-0. Liverpool had a mountain to climb at the beginning of the second half but they never let the score line affect their play, trying and testing NWR’s defense. The second half reflected the commitment to Friday morning fitness, which was clearly showing. All the early mornings are definitely paying off, with another try from Holly Malins under the posts for a nice and easy conversion for fly-half Lebrecht. Liverpool are not third in the league for no reason and didn’t let the score

line affect their play, slowly but surely wearing down NWR’s defense to find a hole to score a try under the posts, leaving the score at 29-7. NWR would not let this affect play and Holly Malins scored another try after having one disallowed due to a knock; the one that counted came from a powerful scrum and fantastic blind -side move which caught Liverpool’s winger unaware. With each try giving NWR a boost it was hardly surprising that before full time NWR crossed the try line again. This time it was number 13 Emma Boyle coming off a sweet and well rehearsed back move to score just wide from the posts, leaving a simple conversion for Lebrecht. This left the score line at full time to be 41-7. The back of the match went to number 13 Emma Boyle and forward of the match to hooker Hannah Daykin. Holly Malins was chosen by Liverpool as their man of the match.

Another great win for NWR whose 100% continues. The dream of being back in the premiership is looking ever more likely to come true after two years of hurt.

Results so far Newcastle Women’s Rugby’s impressive start to the season has seen a 100% record with six wins from six games. W Chester 1sts 47-0 W Northumbria 1sts 22-7 W Teesside 1sts 10--5 W Leeds 1sts 36 -0 W Sheffield Hallam 1sts 38 -0 W Liverpool JM 1sts 41-7

THE COURIER Monday December 5 2011

BUCSsport

Royals Powered to cup win

Firsts progress to quarter �inals after St Andrew’s day success against Edinburgh Women’s Hockey Newcastle 1sts Edinburgh 2nds

2 1

Alice Hogg at Longbenton Newcastle started their quest for silverware last Wednesday against an Edinburgh team potentially blessed by the luck of St Andrew, but to no avail, Newcastle emerging as 2-1 victors. Their only luck was that instrumental forward and fellow Scot Laura K Moore was still ‘having the high of her life’ from the Morphine given to her after dislocating her shoulder. Maybe it’s time to invest in some orange shoes this time. A rainy gloom brought by northern opposition hung over the match like a Thursday morning hangover, and could account for Newcastle’s sluggish beginning. Determined as all Scots are on the day of their patron saint, Edinburgh came out strong, instantly pressuring the Royals’ 23. A few fabulous saves from goalkeeper Rachel Wilson allowed Newcastle time to gain their footing. Even the blood of our very own Ladies man and third team coach, James Jordan, could not get past her agile reactions. Newcastle started dancing down the right wing with an encouraging string of play between Erika Coakley and Suzanne Hill only to be thwarted by the compatriot spirit of the Scots and their �lat sticks. An uneventful continuation of the �irst half was frequently interrupted by our own Scottish representative Nicki Mollison clashing with her own, yet managing to come away unscathed. Further displays of battlelike courage from fresher Charlotte Howatson had her one step closer to the sin bin, anger relief for her multiple yet unsuccessful attempts on goal. Against what was the majority of possession by the hosts, the Scots charged the Newcastle half in a display akin to that of William Wallace running at the English to gain a short corner in the closing seconds of the �irst half. This was duly converted by Edinburgh whose straight strike slipped between the right post and the goalie. This 1-0 lead gave Newcastle much to think about as they bounded to the opposite goal for a half time gassing session. A renewing of con�idence by Coach Bruce, who shares more personality traits with the Shark from Finding Nemo than just the name, had Newcastle determined from the off. A development of passes round the back

Won

had Edinburgh swinging like a metronome. This eventually culminated in a short corner being awarded to Liz Shedden who had defenders swarming around her like characters from Trainspotting to a dealer. Relief came for the Royals when Camilla Powers swept the ball into the goal from Nicki Mollison’s top of D strike. The goal was followed by self-confessed claims that it would have been embarrassing if she had missed it, for her sake and ours, so thank God she didn’t. This 1-1 draw seemed to spur on

the home team, who are used to giving away leads rather than chasing them. A tactical substitution bringing on the German secret weapon, Claire Bentata, and pushing usual mid Sophie McClean up front allowed �luid running and transfers through the pitch. Impact in the Scots 23 by Charlotte ‘Screamer’ Howatson had her sacri�icing her balance for the good of the team and allowing Jenna Watt to stream in from left �ield and place the ball neatly over the Scottish goal line. The Newcastle side line, preparing

for their home clash grudge match, encouraged the on-�ield players to defend to the death. Such determination was shown by the girls, that cards, blood and broken knuckles where the by-product of a heroic closing 10 minutes in which the Royals kept their lead. The �inal score of 2-1 allows Newcastle to progress to their next conquest when they play Shef�ield University after the Christmas break.

M1 v Loughborough 1sts M2 v Hull 3rds

1 v Teesside 1sts

W2 v Newcastle 3rds W3 v Newcastle 2nds W4 v York 2nds

Badminton Basketball

M1 v Worchester 1sts M2 v York 1sts 56 W1 v Stirling 1sts

Football

Results

M2 v Durham 2nds M3 v Teesside 2nds W1 v Teesside 2nds W2 v York St. John

0-8 6-2 39 - 87 45 61 - 36 0-2 4-1 12 - 1 0 - 11

Golf

2-4

Hockey

M1 v L’pool JM 1sts 5-1 M2 v Newcastle 3rds 1-2 M3 v Newcastle 2nds 2-1 M4 v Teesside 1sts 0 -3 W1 v Edinburgh 2nds 2-2 W2 v Leeds 3rds 1 - 1* *Leeds won on penalties

Lacrosse

W1 v Loughborough 2nds 33 - 1 W2 v Durham 2nds 0 - 10

Netball

Rugby

M1 v Leeds Met 1sts M4 v Northumbria 3rds W1 v L’pool JM

Rugby League

35 - 20 20 - 35 40 - 42 31 - 24 51 - 0 41 - 7

M1 v S’ﬁeld Hallam 1sts 31 - 24 M2 v Durham 1sts 10 - 34

Charlotte Howatson rounds the keeper Photography: Moises Bedrossian

Quarter Final Line Up The draw for the quarter finals of the BUCS PWC Hockey Trophy is as follows: N’bria 1st v Manchester 1st Newcastle 1st v Sheffield 1st Cardiff 1st v Canterbury CC 1st Portsmouth 1st v UWIC 1st

Squash

M1 v Leeds 1sts M2 v Durham 3rds M3 v Shefﬁeld 2nds W1 v Keele 1sts

Tennis

M1 v York 3rds M2 v Northumbria 1sts W1 v York 1sts W2 v Shefﬁeld 1sts

Volleyball

M1 v Durham 1sts

3-2 3-0 0-3 4-0 8-4 2 - 10 8-4 6 - 10 1-3

Sport

THE COURIER Monday December 5 2011

IM Football: Newhist stormed by Hurricanes page 46

thecourieronline.co.uk/sport

Women’s Hockey: Scots joy for Royals

Gary Speed 1969-2011

page 47

Owls swoop for Hallam double The world of football has been left to mourn the shock death of one of the game’s most popular ﬁgures at the age of 42. The Courier offers its own tribute to the iconic player and manager on page 37 Photography: Getty Images

Men’s Rugby League

Newcastle 1sts Shefﬁeld Hallam 1sts

31 24

Ian McPherson at Cochrane Park Newcastle put Hallam to the sword for the second time this season after a 31-24 home win on a bitterly cold day at Cochrane Park. The AU’s most beloved team got back to winning ways this week after making an uncharacteristically slow start to the season, though they made life hard for themselves for long periods of the match. The Death Machine enjoyed a record attendance for a home match thanks to the teachers’ strike and were on the front foot right from the �irst whistle. Barney Rubble Yeend cut a deadly line through the heart of the visiting defence to give NURL posses-

sion deep inside the Hallam half, and just a few phases later the ball was shipped wide to shaggy-haired hippy Tom Clark, who sped over in the corner for his �irst try in NURL colours. The advantage was doubled shortly afterwards when hooker J. BakerSmith scooted over from a few yards to touch down just to the left of the sticks, 8-0. Things were starting to look rosy for the hosts, however, as has been the story for much of their season, the Death Machine began to give away penalties in crucial areas. Hallam exploited their host’s ill discipline to score a couple of soft tries, and take the lead. It was debutant Jack Portsmouth who got the home side back in front, touching down after some expansive handling from the NURL back line. Andy Urqurarheart walked the ball into contact before of�loading to Chris Grif�iths who evaded a number of tackles and spun the ball wide to

Portsmouth, who got his name on the scoreboard for the �irst time. The second period proved an equally tight affair. NURL were back under pressure when Hallam once again made their academic superiors pay for a lack of discipline, quickly scoring a handful of tries after a succession of needless errors from the Newcastle scholars. Fortunately for the Death Machine, their resident dance supremo Myles ‘Robson’ Hudson decided to turn his attention away making �ive tackles per set and laced up his attacking boots. His �irst of two tries came after an excellent solo run, racing past the defence and touching down directly under the posts, much to the delight of the adoring crowd. The team were lifted again with the much anticipated introduction of Papa New Guinea’s Sports Personality of the Year, Micky Ward. After a lengthy break due to chronic groin rot, Ward came into the team and

blasted his way through despairing tacklers all over the pitch. The Owls were now in the ascendancy and reaped the rewards in �inal stages of the match. Tireless work from weak-nosed Harry Rigsby and womaniser Dave Chats started a �lowing move for the hosts, which ended in Ward selling a dummy to the Shef�ield full back and scoring to the right of the posts. In no longer than it takes captain Dave Knox to spend £50 in Gotham Town, the Death Machine had scored again. It was Ward who turned provider this time, of�loading to Hudson who completed a brilliant brace under the posts. To add insult to injury, stand-off Grif�iths slotted the world’s ugliest drop goal, much to the delight of frizzy-haired Knox who yelped “yeeha!” and punched the air, sealing the Owls’ 31-24 win. The Death Machine can take a lot of positives from this well deserved win,

though things might have been far different had it not been for a few moments of individual magic. The team can ill-afford to keep giving away so many penalties, especially considering they have a score to settle in their �inal match before Christmas away to the Desperate Scousewives.

League Table 1 Leeds Met 2nds Pts: 10 2 Liverpool 1sts Pts: 9 3 Newcastle 1sts Pts: 8 4 L’pool JM 1sts Pts: 6 5 Sheffield Hallam 1sts Pts: 5 6 Leeds 1sts Pts: 4 For all ﬁxtures, results and detailed tables, go to http://www.bucs.org.uk