The Courier 1239

In this week’s C2 Toon-tailored nightclub chic Why Prince would run rings around MJ Nicolas Cage: Un-Caged Living on £1 a day The science behind free will Plus blind date, listings & puzzles

C OURIER THE

thecourieronline.co.uk · Issue 1239 Monday November 21 2011

The Independent Voice Of Newcastle Students

Est 1948

Union of�icially opens doors Kat Bannon Editor The of�icial opening of the Students’ Union took place last Friday, providing an opportunity to showcase the building to guests, former of�icers, alumni and staff. Some of those present had been were involved in the initial stages of the building’s development �ive years previously.

The evening included a red ribbon cutting ceremony by current Students’ Union President Laura Perry and Vice Chancellor of the University Chris Brink, speeches from both Student Union and University representatives as well as performances from a carefully selected array of societies and sports clubs.

Alongside Chief Executive of the Students’ Union Simon Gerry they also presented speeches to the guests, acknowledging the effortless work and time that had been contributed to the project.

“It is an honor to be President at such an exciting time in Newcastle University Student’s Union history” said Perry. “Thinking back to my �irst involvement in the Union this truly has been a period of transformational change “Having now delivered on our plans we’re already looking to the future.

It’s clear that we’re entering a strong period of collaboration and partnership to take forward, a shared vision.”

The project itself would not have been possible without the £8 grant gifted form the University. Chris Brink encapsulated the aim of the Students’ Union in a few words: ‘every student needs a place to hang out. Although they need an area of disciplinary […] they also need a place to which to enjoy the student experience.”

Having been involved in the project for four years, nine months and 19 days, Simon Gerry said is gave him “great pleasure” to be in it’s �inal stage: “It has been my privilege to watch this project develop from the conceptual stage, and a mish mash of ideas, aspirations and at times lunacy, all the way through to the delivery of what you are seeing today.”

Chief Executive of NUSU, Simon Gerry, expressed his immense graditude to those involved in the refurbishment, including the Project Steering Group, architects, and other members

New building makes the cut: SU President Laura Perry and Vice Chancellor Chris Brink Photography: Moises Bedrossian

of the University Estates team.

Senior Project Manager James Adshead was awarded Life Honorary Membership, to the Students’ Union

by Perry for his tireless work on the project since inception, providing the much-needed interface between all parties as well as the “patience of a saint.”

He commented: ’It’s been a pleasure to have been involved in this project and to work with all those from the

Students’ Union, I really enjoyed it and it’s great to get to the end of the project and see such a fantastic building which is being used as it was intended.”

It was a �itting date for the event, given that the architects implementing the project, Faulkner Brown became the deserved winner of the of the ‘Education Interior of the Year Award’ at the previous night’s Mixology North Award 2011, held in

Manchester. After being shortlisted a number of times, architect Alistair Strip was delighted to scoop the top prize in such a hard sought for category.

The evening was compered �ittingly

by Comedy Society President and Of�icer Without Portfolio Sam Steventon, whose anecdotes of staged hamster suicides and homoerotic tendencies were well received by a decidedly mixed audience.

The 140 societies were also represented by a �lawless performance from Irish Dance, a exert from the play NUTS performed this Summer at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival and a impressively varied glow-in-the dark display from the Circus Society.

Holding the �lag for Team Newcastle were the Cheerleaders, with an animated, although fairly brief, routine.

Continued on page 3

News

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thecourieronline.co.uk/news

News

Two-tier system

Could differing levels of fees lead to a lower class of universitiy?

Grad jobs rising

Figures suggest things are improving in the job market; but are they?

7

Comment

9

The debate

Should charities court celebrities to be the faces of their campaigns?

Still a free press?

11

Why politicians should leave the media to regulate themselves

Touching down

45

Super rugby

48

The Raiders plunder the �irst points in the Stan Calvert 2012 cup

News Editors Wills Robinson and George Sandeman Online News Editor Helen Lam courier.news@ncl.ac.uk

Newcastle University ninth 4 in student drinking tables

Contents

Sport

THE COURIER Monday November 21 2011

Catch up on the latest Intra Mural rugby from Close House

Wills Robinson News Editor A recent survey has shown students at Newcastle University are the ninth heaviest drinkers in the country.

The results released by the website studentbeans.com asked students at different universities how many units they drank in a week. Over 2,000 students from 68 different universities took part in the survey.

The survey shows that Newcastle students drink an average of 21.2 alcoholic units a week. This amounts to an average of seven and a half pints of lager, nine large glasses of white wine or eight trebles in a week.

Buckinghamshire New University were placed above with 21.5 units with De Montfront University below (21.0) Students were also asked a variety of other questions. For example, 20% said that they would not be able to survive a term at university without alcohol and 53% missed a lecture or seminar because they had drunk too much the night before.

The results also showed that 59% experienced memory loss whilst drinking, 33% had been injured, 48% had walked home alone, 37% had not know how they had got home on a night out and 25% had experienced a ‘one night stand’.

Leeds Metropolitan University returned the highest average with students averaging 26.7 a week, followed by the University of Liverpool with 26.6.

At the bottom of the table is the University of Salford with an average of 5.9 units, closely followed by the University of Herefordshire (8.9 units).

Wales featured prominently in the survey, with UWIC and the University of Glamorgan featuring in the top �ive, with both the University of Bath and Bath Spa University in the top ten.

Northumbria came in 31st, with an average of 18.4, with North-East counterparts Durham in 45th (16.5).

In terms of the Oxbridge battle Cambridge came higher in 51st (14.7) with Oxford in 59th (13.8).

When asked which celebrity students would most like to have a drink with, the majority said Stephen Fry Frharlie Sheen in second and third respectively.

The Courier Editorial Team is:

NUSU, King’s Walk, Newcastle upon Tyne, NE1 8QB. Tel: 0191 239 3940

The Courier is a weekly newspaper produced by students, for students. It’s never too late to get involved in the paper, whether you’re a writer, illustrator or photographer. Just visit thecourieronline.co.uk/getinvolved for more information.

Editor: Kat Bannon Deputy Editor: Elliot Bentley News Editors: Wills Robinson and George Sandeman Online News Editor: Helen Lam Politics Correspondent: Bethany Stauton Comment Editors: Sophie McCoid and Susie May Beever Online Comment Editor: Jack Torrance C2 Editor: Aimee Philipson Lifestyle Editors: Olivia Mason and Ben Parkin Online Lifestyle Editor: Emma Balter Fashion Editor: Victoria Mole Online Fashion Editor: Rosanna Sopp

After the University of Liverpool, Newcastle is the red-brick university that drinks the most in the country Photography: Moises Bodrossian

Arts Editors: Sally Priddle Online Arts Editor: Lisa Bernhardt Film Editor: Chris Binding Online Film Editor: Hayley Hamilton Music Editors: Ben Travis, Chris Scott Online Music Editors: Graham Matthews Sports Editors: Colin Henrys, Harry Slavin and Rory Brigstock-Baron Online Sports Editor: Grace Harvey and Charlie Scott Design Editors: Gabe Mason and Tom O’Boyle

Copy Editors: Alice Sewell, Adam Rummens, Rachael Day, Charley Monteith, Dave Dodds, Sarah Collings, Marleen van Os, Emily Waller, Emily Wheeler Rachel Moon, Rebecca Markham, Grace Marconi

The Courier is printed by: Harmsworth Printing Limited, Northcliffe House, Meadow Road, Derby, DE1 2DW. Tel: 01332 253013.

Established in 1948, The Courier is the fully independent student newspaper of the Students’ Union at Newcastle University. The Courier is published weekly during term time, and is free of charge.

The design, text, photographs and graphics are copyright of The Courier and its individual contributors. No parts of this newspaper may be reproduced without the prior permission of the Editor. Any views expressed in this newspaper’s opinion pieces are those of the individual writing, and not of The Courier, the Union Society or Newcastle University.

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THE COURIER Monday November 21 2011

news

New opening, new NUSU future

Continued from front page

Present were Sabbatical Officers dating back to 04/05, including seven generations of Editors of The Courier.

Last year’s President Tom Delamere, responsible for the copious number of stripes and, in places, somewhat outlandish colour scheme, was highly pleased with the end result, of which the gradual physical development he had over seen during his year in office: “It’s great to see the building being used for the purposes it was intended for after such a long time of planning and construction.

“Even though I did have some love for the old students union, the new building is something different.”

President 05/06 Jamie McDonnell, who was in office during the inception of the and whose vision of a glass atrium extending from the front of the Students’ Union to Northern Stage accounts for Gerry’s reference to ‘lunacy’ ‘I finally feel that the students of Newcastle have been afforded the luxury of a SU worthy of the standard of education that’s been provided by this institution for a number of years.”

To mark the event students’ took advantage of the half price drinks in Men’s Bar

The Irish Dance Society entertained both past and present students at the Union’s official opening Photography: Moises Bodrossian

Boys more likely to be homesick Helen Lam Online News Editor A recent survey has shown that male university students suffer more than females from homesickness whilst studying away at university.

The study, which was conducted by National Express, surveyed 1,000 freshers from across the country.

The results revealed that 70% of males missed home whilst at university, compared to only 50% of females. In general however, over half of the students asked felt that, particularly in their first term at university,

they were surprised by how much they missed home.

The results showed that males favour their home comforts more than women.

However it was also revealed that almost a third of females return home within the first two weeks of enrolling, whereas only 20% of men make the trip back home.

On the whole, it was revealed that the vast majority of students return home less than three times per term, with two thirds stating that they cannot afford to return home as often as they would like.

The main reasons listed by male students for feeling homesick, were that

70%

Number of male students who miss home while at university

they missed their mum’s advice and cooking, with nearly a third surveyed agreeing that they would travel back home just for a cooked dinner. Males also admitted to missing the luxury of having a fully stocked fridge and cupboards at home.

Females on the other hand, generally felt more homesick due to missing

such things as their own bed and having their washing and ironing done.

They did however express that they enjoyed having the opportunity to look after themselves.

Research conducted at Newcastle University last year into the transitional experiences of first years, found that an overwhelming 34.6% of first year students at Newcastle said they never felt homesick.

A further 30.2% said they rarely felt homesick, compared to only 10.6% of first year students who said they often or always feel homesick.

The 2010, Sodexo University Lifestyle survey, published in association with the Times Higher Education,

further revealed that 22% of survey participants expressed homesickness to be a reason for contemplating leaving University.

The study also indicated that Arts and humanities students were most likely to mention feeling homesick.

One first year student commented to The Courier, “It’s understandable that students feel homesick, it’s probably one of the biggest changes of your life.

Having gone to boarding school I personally think I was a bit better adjusted, but you can’t beat a good home cooked roast dinner”

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THE COURIER Monday November 21 2011

news

Fee levels could create two-tier system

Government proposals could create a system similar to that in the US where establishments like the Massachusetts Institute of Technology regularly charge over $40,000 in tuition annually for some degrees. Photography: Via Tusji (Flickr)

Ralph Blackburn The government’s controversial plans regarding competition between universities could create a two-tiered system, an MP select committee has warned.

The Business, Innovation and Skills select committee were commenting on proposals to give an unlimited amount of places to the highestperforming students and a further 20,000 places to be allocated to universities charging fees of £7,500 or less.

These proposals will likely polarise students between the traditional universities, charging £9,000, and other universities charging lower fees.

Newcastle University will be charging

“Debate now making War and Peace seem as long as a Penguin book” Johnny Farrar-Bell Commentary Yet more talk about tuition fees has been ringing around Parliament in recent days with the new fear being

tuition fees of £9,000 to students enrolling in 2012. The committee stated: “This could have undesirable consequences for social mobility if able candidates from lower socio-economic backgrounds felt constrained to choose lower cost provision.”

With a 9% drop in applicants this year, clearly many people are uncomfortable with paying higher tuition fees.

This could see a system similar to that in the United States occur, with students from upper- and middleclass backgrounds going to traditional universities, and students from lower-class backgrounds attending the lower cost universities. In the United States, the average cost of a year at university is $27,000, with some universities such as Massachusetts Institute of Technology charging

$100,000 for a medical degree. However, if you wish to study at a community college, it only costs between $2,000 and $10,000 a year.

This system, proving to be fairly elitist, is one the committee does not wish to replicate. The report urges ministers to monitor universities and the social mix. Should a two-tier system arise, then swift action should be immediately taken to alleviate the problem. To combat this, a student premium scheme was announced last October aimed at 50,000 students, which would provide a package that may potentially include ‘fee waivers’, discounted accommodation or cash but it could be argued that this may not aid enough students.

The report from the select committee, however, encouraged financial support to be focused on living costs

as opposed to fee waivers.

The Universities Minister David Willets said: “We have told universities to be much more ambitious with their plans for attracting people from lowincome backgrounds.

University investment in programmes such as summer schools, scholarships and fee waivers will increase significantly.”

Regarding the new proposals: “We have to get on with ending the present system of setting quotas of places at each university because it lets students down.”

It does appear that these changes are not enough to prevent a two-tier system.

A major issue with pushing all these proposals through is that there is a great level of uncertainty from both universities and students. The univer-

the creation of a ‘two-tiered system’.

This is a result of some of the socalled ‘former polys’ opting to lower their fees from the maximum £9,000 to a mere £7,500.

It is heavily debatable as to whether this new change in the plot will create two separate systems or whether that is just hype and scaremongering on the part of the unions whose job it is to do so. But the plain fact is if you are able to get into a good university then you are most probably going to give it a shot.

Without having canvassed opinion

it still seems that, although many students are a tad frugal, most already take on a student loan happily, knowing that they won’t have to pay it off for years to come and only then if they earn a proper wage.

Whilst getting into serious debt is obviously not something to take lightly, it has now become such a reality for students that, if you’re lucky enough not to be after the three years, you’re very fortunate indeed.

So, although money is a big issue, the £1,500 extra for a Russell Group University would surely be some-

thing people would be prepared to fork out. The better opportunities and job offers in the long term are no doubt worth more that the difference in fees, and £7,500 is already an awful lot, so shelling out £9,000 doesn’t seem quite so shocking.

When fees were introduced in 2004, it did not put off applicants and it seems that the same will happen with the recent hike in cost. An indepth report last year suggested that 90% of applicants wouldn’t be put off by paying £10,000, and Sheffield University saw a 30% rise in open

sities are unsure of how much money they will receive and students are uncertain how much money they will have to pay.

This is further putting students off applying for university.

The committee’s chair Adrian Bailey commented: “If you ask universities what it is they would most like, it is that they would like these changes deferred.

The crux of the problem is that universities do no know how much money they are going to have next year, because finance follows the student.

This is a great cost to them in terms of financial planning.”

This will also impact grants for students. The committee recommended waiting before adding the plans for competition for places, so as not to add to the confusion. day visitors this year showing that the price is something people seem willing to pay. The stakes, in terms of careers, are too high not to.

But with the debate now making War and Peace seem as long as a Penguin book, it is of little wonder that the interest of the government, myself and the majority of students seems to be waning.

Our attention span is simply not long enough. You never know, the unions might even get too bored to protest!

THE COURIER Monday November 21 2011

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news

University gains research funds despite cuts Jenni Cannon

Despite the dramatic cuts to funding for higher education which are planned to take place within the next few years, Newcastle University has recently had news suggesting it may be less harshly affected than first thought.

The University’s research income has been increased to £88.5m, and research grants totalling £93m have also been awarded. As a result, Newcastle will be able to spend this money maintaining its status as one of the country’s top research institutions.

However, the University has also stated that part of this additional funding will be used to “buffer against some of the uncertainty” that rising fees will cause.

Universities could potentially lose enormous amounts of money if the predictions that the new system will drive prospective students away in their thousands ring true.

If Newcastle were to suffer a dramatic loss of funding in addition to this, it could lead to difficulties in offering adequate funding to those from less ‘well-off’ backgrounds, or even be to the detriment of existing facilities and quality of education.

The fact that the University will in fact gain, not lose, research funding means that these are significantly less likely to become major issues.

Increases in reseach funding will theoretically help improve academic research at the University.

Photography: Elliot Bentley

Furthermore, the availability of research grants means the University could even improve current facilities in a bid to attract new students and avoid a certain amount of the “uncertainty” of a decrease in university applications.

In addition to this promising news,

it also means that Newcastle has a bigger chance of remaining a prosperous university once the current economic situation settles, estimated by university leadership to take around three to four years, and there will potentially be opportunities for it to grow even further.

This is a result of the deregulation of student numbers in the government White Paper and means that as caps on the number of applicants accepted may be altered or even lifted altogether, Newcastle University could potentially become larger and more successful, increasing the likelihood

of keeping its status as a top research institution.

While this by no means gives the University certainty as to its future, it’s very much a reassuring step in a positive direction.

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THE COURIER Monday November 21 2011

news

Hong Kong government entices foreign students with £81 million bursary fund Hong Kong is host to several of the world’s leading universities including the 34th placed University of Hong Kong according to Times Higher Eudcation Photography: photos4uandme (Flickr)

George Sandeman News Editor The Hong Kong government has invested over HK$1 billion in a bursary fund in a bid to attract foreign students.

Hong Kong boasts some of the world’s best institutions including the Hong Kong University of Science and Technology, Lingnan University, Hong Kong University and the Chinese University of Hong Kong.

Fees for undergraduates average at around £8000 whilst for postgradu-

ates they are just under £3500 with a stipend to help with living costs.

Similarly, generous government subsidies are available to students to help offset the cost of accommodation.

However, admissions criteria are high with Hong Kong University demanding three A-levels with A* or 40 out of 45 points in the International Baccalaureate. Competition is also high with nine applicants for every place on average.

In total there are eight governmentfunded universities in Hong Kong. Be-

tween them, they offer all the major areas of study and all use English as the main means of communication.

In addition, they collectively offer crash courses in Chinese language and grammar so that foreign students can make the most of their stay.

This open-door policy has already seen European students flock to the former British colony, including Belgian student Achill Van den Broek.

The 27-year-old is entering his third year studying Chinese Studies at the Chinese University of Hong Kong. He said: “I was on my way back from Syd-

ney to Europe from a working holiday when I decided to spend six months in Hong Kong. People I met recommended Chinese U and I decided that if I wanted to study China, I would rather do it here. It’s a degree that’s only open to international students.”

Fellow undergraduates are from as far afield as Canada and the Netherlands with some, closer to Hong Kong, from South Korea.

In terms of what impressed Van den Broek the most, he said: “Everything about Hong Kong is surprising. Coming from Europe, it’s a bit of a culture

shock, but if you come with an open mind you’ll soon adapt.

On our campus we have trees, a lake and a waterfall. It’s a complete contrast to the bustling commercial district and harbour.”

CUHK, ranked 41st in the world by the Times Higher Education rankings, was established in 1963 and possesses a jaw-droppingly beautiful location nestled beneath mountains with panoramic views over Kolo Harbour.

Within its student population are 3,800 international students originating from over 40 countries.

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THE COURIER Monday November 21 2011

news

Fee levels could create two-tier system Graduate unemployment falls Rachael Day

Graduate unemployment has fallen for the first time since the economic recession began, a report published last week has found.

The annual ‘What Do Graduates Do?’ study, conducted by the Higher Education Careers Services Unit (HECSU), is based on a survey of 233, 865 first degree and Foundation degree graduates from the year 20092010. The study assessed how many graduates entered employment, how many continued to further study, and how many remained unemployed six months following graduation.

Encouragingly, the report has seen a decrease in graduate unemployment, which has dropped 0.4% from last year’s figure of 8.9%. The newly released figure now shows that around one in 12 (8.5%) of those who gradu-

“I was advised that I’d be best ‘not to get my hopes up’ for a career with the Civil Service” David Hiscocks Commentary

Like many third-year undergraduates, I am currently panicking about my future job prospects.

It is a major concern that 8.5% of graduates fail to find employment six months after graduating. Certainly, many students have had to revise their career plans to take into account the fierce competition for jobs.

ated in 2010 remained unemployed six months after graduation.

Whilst a relatively minor decline, this is the first time that graduate unemployment has fallen since the economic recession began, thus showing optimistic signs for future graduates.

The report also found that, six months after graduating, 69.7% of graduates from 2010 were in employment – a reassuring 7.9% increase on last year’s figure.

However, despite the promising statistics, graduate unemployment still remains at a far higher level than before the recession began, when it stood at just 5.5%.

Nevertheless, it seems graduates of Newcastle University stand in better stead than the national average. Figures from the Higher Education Statistics Agency (HESA) show that of the 2010 cohort of first degree Newcastle graduates, only 5.6% remained unemployed six months after gradua-

tion, while 72.5% of those who went into employment did so in a graduate level job – a clear indicator of the relative value of a Newcastle University degree.

Nick Keeley, Director of the Careers Service at Newcastle University, spoke to The Courier about the current job climate for graduates: “The prospects for current final year students are still a little mixed. Employers from most sectors are reporting that they are at least maintaining their levels of graduate vacancies; however, it is well-publicised that many jobs have been lost in the public sector.

“There are clearly jobs out there, but final year students now need to be flexible and adaptable in regards to the sectors they are targeting, and be ready to be geographically mobile where possible.”

And it’s not just graduates who are facing tough times; further reports have suggested that worse is yet

to come for the UK job market as a whole.

In particular, a report by The Chartered Institute of Personnel and Development (CIPD) said that the UK job market is facing “slow, painful contractions”, with firms adopting a “wait and see” approach towards the economy.

The NHS Graduate Scheme is a notorious example of a highly sought after graduate job. Under this scheme, less than 1% of applicants get offered a position.

The Civil Service is another, as I found out when I asked a contact of mine currently working in that organisation about my potential career prospects.

I was advised that I’d be best ‘not to get my hopes up’ for a career with the Civil Service due to the massive government cuts.

In July 2010, the Treasury announced that by 2015, 600,000 public sector jobs will have been lost.

These redundancies are already cutting a swathe through the ranks of public sector employees as the government pursues its brutally unfair political-economic targets at the ex-

pense of the workers.

Similar problems, if on a less-publicly dramatic scale, are being experienced in the private sector. Here, employers seek to maintain their profits by reducing staff numbers, such as BAE systems recently announcing it was going to cut 3000 jobs.

The prospect of finding employment in the face of such job losses in the public and private sectors seems difficult, to say the least.

The simple fact is that with such large scale cuts in workforces across the country, trying to find employment is easier said than done.

There are fewer jobs, and just as many undergraduates applying for them.

The problem of mass redundancies, in both the public and private sectors, deals a second blow to the un-

dergraduate looking for a job.

Redundancies on the scale we are currently seeing mean that the job market is flooded with people who have much more experience than the average undergraduate.

This makes the average graduate (with little or no work experience) a potentially less desirable applicant than someone recently made redundant with extensive work experience.

Because of the extremely high level of competition, students have to apply for a much greater number of jobs to improve their likelihood of eventually being offered a position.

When a typical graduate scheme application can take over an hour to complete, the amount of time spent applying for jobs is increasing, which also increases stress.

It is therefore of little comfort

69.7% The percentage of students in employment six months after graduating.

This is therefore resulting in companies delaying recruitment of more staff in light of the current eurozone crisis and wider global economic instabilities.

Although this means that fewer employers are looking to relocate

jobs abroad or make redundancies, it seems inevitable that the approach will produce further increases in unemployment levels, for both graduates and the UK as a whole.

Similarly, opportunities for teenagers seeking employment are on the decline. A separate Barnado’s report found that out-of-work teenagers are being “ignored” by employers, with opportunities for the most disadvantaged to learn new skills which could help them into work “rapidly declining” too.

According to the report, the areas worst affected by teenage unemployment include Middlesbrough, at 9.1% and many parts of Birmingham, with Ladywood the hardest hit at 12.5%.

Although the recent graduate unemployment figures show a glimmer of hope for the future, it seems the UK job market as a whole still has a long way to go to fully recover from the effects of the economic recession.

in these bleak times to know that graduate unemployment has been reduced from 8.9% in 2009 to 8.5% in 2010.

This may indeed be true, although we all know that statistics can be manipulated.

That the statistics may have been ‘tweaked’ is supported by a recent report from the Chartered Institute of Personnel and Development.

Their findings indicate many employers are delaying hiring until the economy improves.

Therefore in the real world, as far as myself and my fellow undergraduates can see, employment prospects are as dire as ever, regardless of miniscule changes in graduate unemployment percentages.

Armstrong building used as WWI Hospital Wills Robinson News Editor Workers completing upgrades on a campus building have unearthed evidence that it was used as a First World War hospital.

A memo unearthed during renovation work on the Armstrong Building shed some light on its important role during the 1914-1918 conflict. Items such as a sword and a bayonet were also recovered in the basement which dated back to the same period.

The memo detailed the treatment of a Private Bird from the Durham Light Infantry in March 1916, with a pencilled list of soldiers who were also being treated on the reverse side.

Tyne and Wear museums were able to restore the documents in time for Remembrance Sunday, despite the extent of the damage to the document.

Rachel Gill, an archivist from Tyne and Wear Museums said: “This is one of the few surviving patient records we have from when the Armstrong Building was being used as a hospital; the usual records were not kept, making this find even more special.

“There was a paper shortage during the war and they have written

the names of the men in pencil on the back of the ink memo because they are using every bit of paper they can get.”

Newcastle University has always been at the forefront of medicine in the country, and this finding shows that this reputation spans back nearly a century. Dr Martin Farr, senior lecturer in modern and contemporary British history, said: “During the war the government had enormous powers, including the commandeering of civilian and private property. Newcastle University was known for its medical excellence so it makes sense that they would set up a hospital in one of the buildings.

“The memo is a fascinating document which has survived for almost 100 years. It is just the sort of thing you hope for and I am very pleased it did not end up in a builder’s skip.”

The building, which dates back to the nineteenth century is now used by the history, classics and music departments to name but a few.

A PhD archaeology student has already begun research into the document and a University security officer, Colin Turnbull, brought photos from his grandfather into work that depict the unit in the building.

The Arnstrong Building, established in 1871, is believed to have been used as a hospital in the Great War. Photography: Sam Tyson

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THE COURIER Monday November 21 2011

national student news

Speech by prominent Israel critic moved from campus George Sandeman News Editor A speech given by infamous academic and writer Norman Finkelstein was moved from the Manchester University campus at the last minute.

Action Palestine (AP), who organised the speech, relocated the event after being instructed by the University that the audience was to be student only.

Manchester University authorities issued the instructions after concerns about audience safety were raised by Manchester Jewish Students (MJS).

A spokesperson for Manchester

Job Title: Personal Assistant Employer: Disability North Closing date: 22.11.11 Salary: £8.00 per hour Basic job description: A Personal Assistant is required by female Masters Student for help in accessing social activities. This role will be for 10 hours per week. Interviews will be held: Thursday 01/12/11.

Person requirements: The position is subject to the satisfactory result of a Criminal Records Bureau search.

Location: Newcastle upon Tyne Job Title: Shop Floor Assistant Employer: ASDA Closing date: 22.11.11 Salary: TBC Basic job description: This role is for 12 hours per week (days and evenings). Duties include: Providing excellent customer service, Recommending additional products to meet customers’ needs, Helping to maximise sales by keeping shelves replenished and products always available as well as having an awareness of promotions going on in the store and making sure customers are aware too.

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Location: North Tyneside.

Job Title: Youth & Community Learning Support Worker

University said that admitting unvetted members of the public could “compromise the safety and security of our students.”

Maggie Suissa, campaigns of�icer for MJS, said that in a meeting with the autorities four days before the event, the group aired fears that “people [of the general public] from either side of the debate ... might come to heckle and create an intimidating atmosphere.”

She maintained that the MJS were solely concerned about creating a “safe space for all students.”

However, organisers from AP wrote to supporters saying that, by issuing instructions for a student-only audience, the University authorities were

“bowing down” to pressure “from a small extremist minority.”

They also claimed that the studentonly guestlist would have caused a “logistical nightmare [having to contact] all non-students who had reserved tickets.”

Finkelstein himself was left angered and aghast at the situations saying: “It’s a shame that the University has negated the principle of free speech just because some students said they felt ‘threatened’ by my presence.”

AP decided to move the venue of the speech to a nearby Quaker owned building which had 100 less seats.

MJS responded by saying: “That this event was moved off of campus is ... a spoilt, pedantic protest [by AP].”

Employer: Gateshead Council Closing date: 25.11.11 Salary: £14,733 - £21,525 pro rata Basic job description: Blaydon Youth Club are looking for Part Time Youth and Community Learning Support Workers to work the following sessions: Wednesday evening, 6.30pm to 8.30pm, Inclusive Club Session to provide accessible activities for young people with a disability or a learning difficulty, Saturday morning, 10.00am to 12.00pm, Youth Session, Sunday evening, 6.00pm to 8.00pm, Detached Youth Session.

Person requirements: You should have knowledge of current issues and developments in Youth and Community work. You need to be able to communicate clearly and effectively, have relevant experience of working with children, young people and/ or adults and of working in a multi-agency environment for the engagement of young people.

Location: Gateshead.

and legible handwriting, as well as accurate spelling and grammar skills.

Location: Newcastle University Campus.

Job Title: Advertising - Student with cars needed.

Employer: Uni Car Ads Closing date: 30.11.11 Salary: £60 per month Basic job description: Earn £60-£80 a month by having an advertising sticker on your car. Uni Car Ads was founded in 2011.

The idea was to find advertising space for businesses to allow them to promote products and services to students cheaply and effectively. Make your car work for you.

Person requirements: You must own a car and live in an area which is heavily populated by students.

Location: Newcastle upon Tyne

Job Title: Box Office Sellers Employer: Pro-Active Recruitment Closing date: 01.12.11 Salary: £8.50 per hour Basic job description: A unique opportunity next summer working on numerous sites, which will include the Olympic Park and Excel Centre in London, as well as several other countrywide locations. This is a once in a life time opportunity to say you were part of something a little bit special!

Person requirements: You will be bright, enthusiastic and passionate about sport and historical events in the making!

Location: London

Job Title: Note Taker (Support Worker) Employer: Clear Links Closing date: 30.11.11 Salary: £10.61 per hour + £1.28 per hour holiday pay Basic job description: Clear Links Support is a specialist provider of academic support to students in higher education. Reliable degree-level Note Takers are required, to produce an accurate, full and legible record of the content of lectures, seminars etc which are then to be given to the Client.

Person requirements: Applicants must have completed at least 1 year of higher education study and be able to demonstrate clear

Job Title: Promotional Executives Employer: Rectangle Group PLC Closing date: 30.11.11 Salary: National Minimum Wage Basic job description: Rectangle is a fun, dynamic company at the forefront of face to face marketing. You will be working for blue chip clients. Promotions of products and lead generation will be conducted from areas such as Newcastle Airport, Supermarkets, National Trust sites and others.

Person requirements: We are looking to recruit someone with great interpersonal skills and a strong work ethic. You need to enjoy working as part of a team and chatting to the public and meeting lots of people. We are looking for exceptionally driven candidates with the potential to progress.

Location: North East

Job Title: Retail Sales Assistants and Stock Room Workers Employer: The Retail People Closing date: 31.12.11 Salary: £7.00 - £8.30 per hour Basic job description: The Retail People are responsible for managing the shops at the London 2012 Olympic and Paralympic Games next summer. We are looking for fun, honest, enthusiastic, hard-working and passionate individuals to help us to run the biggest event merchandising operation ever.

Person requirements: If you thrive and enjoy the thrill of working in a unique, fast paced and exciting environment we want to hear from you!

Location: London.

‘Sorority Girls’ York thief steals banned from uni politics essays Sophie McCoid

University of York

University of Leeds

Numerous third-year politics students were informed that they would be required to resubmit their essays after scripts were stolen from their tutor’s car.

It remains unclear how many students’ scripts were actually lost, but the incident has resulted in every student on the module being told to submit another copy of his or her original essay.

This extended deadline has been seen as excessive by some students, and has left individuals concerned that the overall standard will improve as some may take the opportunity to re-work elements of their essay.

A police investigation is ongoing, and the Politics department have assured students that the incident won’t be repeated. This is due to a new electronic submission system, which is currently being trialled for �irst-year procedural essays, and is expected to be rolled out to assessed essays if successful.

The University of Leeds has banned the popular new programme ‘Sorority Girls’ from �ilming on campus. The programme shows female students competing for their chance to run Britain’s �irst ever Sorority House.

Judged by �ive of America’s �inest Sorority sisters, the programme sheds light on the embarrassing contrast between the two nation’s ideal university lives.

The show has proved popular among students, but University staff however are less than impressed by the programme. The University said: “We were approached by E4 for permission to �ilm for the programme Sorority Girls, but, as we believed that the programme would be contrary to the University’s values of inclusiveness, equality and community, we decided it would be inappropriate to permit �ilming on campus.” Harriet Rankin, Leeds University Union Welfare Of�icer also reinforced that because of this, the show was “not welcome on campus”.

“FIFA literally saved my life” University of Durham

Students in Van Mildert College, Durham, were left startled last Monday evening when a car crashed into one of their accommodation blocks. The silver ford �iesta was unoccupied when it smashed head�irst into a �irst year student’s bedroom, destroying much of the room. Luckily the room’s occupant, Rob Torch, was not present at the time.

Fellow students quickly congregated at the scene and began to take pictures of the wreckage. Torch commented: “I couldn’t believe it when I saw what had happened. FIFA literally saved my life that night as I’d been sitting under the window �ive minutes before deciding to play the game.”

Students to fast for fundraiser University of Shef�ield Shef�ield students are set to go hungry as they take part in a 24-hour fast.

The aim of the fast is to raise money to help the victims of Thailand’s worst �loods in decades. Campaign leader, Natchaya Maneein, 20, said: “I became determined to raise as much money as I possibly could, but I didn’t want to do the usual money collecting. So I decided to fast, like how the �lood victims were forced to.”

Shef�ield Thai Society has been raising money to help victims of the persisting �loods, which have killed more than 500 people so far.

Other students will also be refraining from their favourite activities throughout the day, with some gogoing without speaking during the 24 hours.

Facebook may be prohibited Bournemouth University

Bournemouth Students’ Union are looking into potentially banning Facebook on campus.

This comes after receiving a series of complaints from students saying they were unable to use the University’s computer facilities when they needed.

The motion has caused controversy across campus and student views are split. Some agree with the proposal, as they believe it will increase the amount of computers to work on, whilst others argue that they use Facebook for university purposes.

Turning off facebook at certain times of the day in the library is one of the suggestions that has been brought up by the union, but this has still caused uproar amongst students. The decision to ban it will not be formally decided upon for a couple of weeks to give time for student feedback.

Jersey students barred entry University of Surrey

A Guildford bar refused entry to some students, as bouncers were unclear if their ID’s were genuine.

Students from as far a�ield as Jersey and Gibraltar were refused entry.

One student, who asked not be named, said: “They basically said, ‘if you’ve not got an English ID you’re not allowed in’, even though Jersey is part of Great Britain.”

Another student even made the comment: “My ID lets me into the country, but it doesn’t let me into Flares [nightclub].”

A Flares spokesperson said: “We have investigated [...] and we have been advised that nobody carrying a passport was refused entry into the premises.”

Comment

9

THE COURIER Monday November 21 2011

Comment Editors Sophie McCoid and Susie May Beever Online Comment Editor Jack Torrance courier.comment@ncl.ac.uk

thecourieronline.co.uk/comment

The ‘Born This Way’ Foundation is set to start work next year.

Photography: Luigi Orru (Flickr)

Should charities go Gaga for celebrity endorsement?

Kathryn Riddell

Yes

Lady Gaga has become the latest in a long line of celebrities who have used their image to promote a good cause.

The singer, whose popularity is demonstrated by having three platinum albums, is to launch an anti-bullying charity, the ‘Born This Way Foundation’.

The charity, which launches in America next year will be a non-pro�it organisation. Lady Gaga has revealed her motivation behind the charity: “Together we hope to establish a standard of bravery and kindness, as well as a community worldwide that protects and nurtures others in the face of bullying and abandonment.”

Establishing bravery and kindness worldwide may be a bold step for the average charity organiser but clearly Gaga has a lot of support in the shape of her fan base. With more than 15 million followers on Twitter and 44 million Facebook fans, Lady Gaga clearly has all the publicity the charity would ever need before it has even been launched.

Without the help of celebrities taking part in appeals or acting as patrons for charities, it seems likely that donations would suffer. In an ideal world, the public would support charities without persuasion but we must face facts and accept that we live in a celebrity-obsessed society.

Surely it is preferable to see media

coverage of a celebrity while they are endorsing a charity rather than their latest money-making project. And while some fans may only support a cause because of their admiration for the famous face behind it, at least the money will help somebody who actually deserves it.

Children in Need, which was held on Friday, regularly breaks its own records for the amount of money raised and it would never have raised millions each year without the backing of celebrities.

Children in Need depends heavily on a vast range of celebrities for its huge success. Every year, many of the appeal videos that are shown involve celebrities visiting the disadvantaged themselves, particularly in Africa.

The recycling of this method clearly demonstrates its success as people generally feel more obliged to help after seeing somebody they admire affected by their experience. Because celebrities aren’t forced to promote charities, and many don’t, we tend to appreciate the effort of those who do and want to make some contribution ourselves.

The number of celebrities that receive major publicity has continued to grow in recent years with stars like Lady Gaga gaining a huge amount of supporters in a short space of time due to the relatively new phenomenon of the internet.

This change in mass culture should then be harnessed for the sake of good causes. Instead of being concerned about whether celebrities are gaining personally from their endorsements we should instead focus our attention on the issues behind the fame.

Lady Gaga’s anti-bullying charity is bound to be a success and whilst this may help to boost her image, surely the most important outcome will be for those who will deservedly receive the bene�its that such a charity brings.

Susie May Beever Comment Editor

No

This year’s Children in Need has been and gone, with yet another of some of the BBC’s �inest fronting the cause.

This year’s line-up included the usual grim-faced Gary Barlow alongside some new faces such as Jessie J as well as Dappy and Fazer from NDubz. This comes hot off the heels of last month’s announcement that Lady Gaga is to launch a brand new antibullying campaign.

Labelled the ‘Born This Way Foundation’, Gaga’s new publicity stunt is to centre on young people, following the suicide of a fan earlier this year..

The charity will take a hands-on approach to tackling homophobic discrimination, which the singer says will “establish a standard of bravery and kindness, as well as a community worldwide that protects and nurtures others in the face of bullying and abandonment.” Fair enough.

But is there really room for yet another of these celebrity-endorsed charity cases? There are hundreds of anti-bullying charities in Britain alone, yet it seems the exception of one branded with another prim, polished and iconic face is to rake in millions of pounds worth of support.

A survey of more than 1,000 11 to 25-year-olds in the UK last year resulted in only one in �ive saying that they would donate to a charity just because a celebrity had endorsed, proving that those who are consid-

ered the most in�luenced by celebrity culture perhaps seem the least affected by it.

Most causes which are represented by famous �igures are often very worthy, yet such endorsement appears to detract away from this. In the midst of a period of great economic dif�iculty, charities are going to vast efforts in order to keep aid �lowing in.

Campaigns are becoming just as flashy and expensive as the stars themselves.

However, campaigns are becoming just as �lashy and expensive looking as the stars themselves. Bob Geldof’s commendable achievements through organisations such as the Live Aid concerts and the Christmas Band Aid singles would not have expanded into such an achievement without the involvement of media personalities.

However, it is undeniable that most campaigns such as these have been used by the public as just another Saturday night alternative to the X Factor, detracting away from their original cause.

It seems morally �lawed that charitable cases should cash in celebrities new career moves. Figures of great public attention are not shy of facing good causes to bump up their ‘nice guy’ credentials and Google hits.

Type ‘Katie Price charity’ into a search engine and, if you’re feeling really lucky, a web page describing the face of trashy magazine culture’s

various charity stints tells all.

One cause, ‘Vision’, describes the model’s work as ‘a real boost for the Charity’, as well as continuing to list her various patronages for other children’s charities on the sickening Barbie-pink web page, complete with our very own cartoon of Katie sporting a painfully inane grin and a dress which, oddly, makes her resemble a drunken sailor’s �inal resort.

Sure, I agree that any cause is a good cause. Charities do need all they can muster at a time when everybody seems to be tightening the purse strings.

I’m a reasonably tolerant person when it comes to giving to charity, but most people would draw the line at the patronising techniques that some causes appear to be resorting to these days. I don’t agree with the idea that by using the faces of celebrities we are therefore immediately interested in what the charity’s work is. Looking up to N-Dubz and aspiring to their commendable involvement with Children in Need? No thanks. I draw the line at the criminal cover of Massive Attack’s ‘Teardrop’ as it is.

To further that, I’d happily give money to any worthy cause - particularly one which helps some of the world’s most vulnerable children. However, I’m sure many would agree that to be told to do so is condescending enough as it is. To be told by the likes of Cheryl Cole, owning properties in London and Los Angeles, is frankly sickening.

Celebrities by all means should do their bit. Why not? They’re human beings. But to be used as advertisement vehicles to up their people points is just another re�lection of how fameobsessed we seem to have become.

Emails in response to the articles should be sent to editor.union@ncl.ac.uk

10

THE COURIER Monday November 21 2011

comment

Border control �iasco reveals our bigoted nation Jack Torrance Online Comment Editor

T

he recent border control furore was a very telling example of the unreasonable animosity which exists in the UK towards migrants.

Much of the nation and the tabloid press reacted with incredibly disproportionate horror at the thought that a number of foreign people had arrived in the UK without being checked, as though every third visitor is a potential terrorist threat.

Jobs have been lost and Theresa May’s could still be under threat, all because of what was basically a pretty minor error. People move freely all across the European Schengen Area and nobody gets so outraged, so is really so different for the UK’s borders? I’m not normally somebody who would even lift a �inger to defend Theresa May, but this so-called outrage was the latest of many examples of Britain’s irrational obsession with immigration.

Contrary to popular perception, being a migrant is often far from an easy ride. It isn’t emotionally easy to leave behind everything you know, and nor is it physically easy to move countries, especially given that migrants do not have the same entitlements to support that British citizens do. Legal routes are very limited and border security forces are in fact very well resourced; a signi�icant number of people die every year trying to illegally enter the EU. Systematic mistreatment of new arrivals in the west is no big secret and the real disgrace is that nobody really seems to care about it. It emerged earlier this month that, in scenes evocative of Nazi-occupied Europe, the UK Border Agency has been harassing people by carrying out apparently il-

A border agency officer leads a woman away from a sham marriage, Photography: ukhomeoffice (Flickr)

legal passport checks on coaches in a bid to catch illegal immigrants. Once caught, illegal immigrants can face periods of imprisonment in the UK’s notorious detention centres.

Of course these measures are principally directed against illegal migrants, but the reason many choose this option is because it is so dif�icult to enter the UK legally. Many illegal immigrants would happily pay their tax contributions but are obviously prevented from being able to. Along with the conventional problems faced by illegal immigrants, the dif�iculty of migrating to developed countries also pushes people into the arms of human traf�ickers.

Recent policies introduced by successive governments have only served to encouraged people to enter the country illegally. Under pressure from what they perceive to be a tabloid-aggravated public, politicians are quick to seize on any opportunity to look tough on immigrants.

Much of the debate is regrettably focused on how the government can best reduce immigration, ignoring the question of whether a reduction is actually a good idea. In last year’s election leaders’ debates even Nick Clegg, self-styled advocate for Britain’s ‘new progressives’ failed to offer a sincere argument in favour of free migration.

Despite all the rhetoric about migrants ‘stealing jobs’ the fact is that the economic bene�its of migration are often understated. With an aging population and a workforce with exceedingly high aspirations, the UK relies on low-skilled workers from across the world, as well as those born here. The often implied ‘common sense’ idea that increased migration necessarily increases unemployment is plainly wrong. Migrants still consume domestic products, form the rent they pay to the food they eat, transport they use and entertainment they consume, all of which creates employment for others in the UK. Most reasonable people at least accept the need for ‘skilled’ migrants in the UK. The NHS, for instance, would

struggle to function without the efforts of foreign-born doctors and specialists, and the private sector includes many successful migrant business leaders, whose entrepreneurial efforts create jobs for many people.

But low-skilled migrants are also desirable. A larger low-skilled workforce enables other sectors of the economy to grow, because an economy cannot be built on skilled jobs alone. Put in very crude terms, in order to have more white-collar workers we also need more of�ice cleaners, more latte brewers, more bus drivers, more catering staff, more childminders. A larger low-wage labour force also reduces the costs of goods and services, meaning that the money of struggling Britons’ can stretch further.

Far from being a burden on the economy or a cause of unemployment, in�luxes of low skilled labour are what enable the UK’s markets to grow. There is no coincidence behind the fact that Tony Blair’s 13 years in power saw both unprecedentedly high in�luxes of migrants and yet fairly low levels of unemployment, coupled with strong economic growth.

It is ironic that groups such as the Conservative Party, who spend much of their time discrediting the ability of the state to intervene effectively in the economy, abandon this discourse when it comes to immigration. The idea that the state can effectively identify the economic usefulness of every potential migrant by simply using set criteria is frankly naïve. As the UK’s business leaders at the CBI have time and again suggested, the government’s current plans to reduce immigration risk hampering economic growth.

Britain’s irrationally excessive hostility to inward migration makes me feel ashamed. Ultimately, people need to realise that migration brings with it many potential economic bene�its, and that by criminalising it we are just pushing people into dangerous situations and the arms of organised criminals.

ry, so savour your old pro�ile layout while you can.

Why does Facebook want this stuff, anyway? There are two reasons - to ensure that we have a reason to keep on coming back to their site, and also to give to advertisers. It’s easy to forget, while tagging last night’s pictures from Sinners, that the more Facebook knows about each of us, the more direct their advertising can be. There’s a reason why the site is free to use: the advertisers are Facebook’s real customers. We are merely the product being sold.

Personally, I couldn’t care less about targeted advertising; it’s the idea of strangers, or even just moderately close friends, being able to see ele-

ments of my life I no longer feel comfortable sharing. I don’t want new friends or colleagues to see soppy messages from ex-girlfriends, or political rants I no longer agree with. Or that awful striped shirt I used to wear.

Yeuck.

Can we do anything about the direction Facebook is now heading in? Not really - too much time and money has already been spent for the company to do an embarrassing about-face. We can be careful with what we post in the future, but with ‘frictionless sharing’, we no longer even have to make a conscious decision to add to the website’s ever-growing database. We can delete all of our old photos or cancel our accounts, but that’s painful - and Facebook is still a useful social tool, with few competitors (even Google have struggled to break into the market with their own version, Google+, despite its supposedly superior privacy features).

Regardless, it’s time now, particularly for students soon to enter the professional world (like me), to reconsider just how much personal information we intend to share online.

Facebook may call it ‘friction’, but I can think of another word for what these new features are removing: control.

Fresh-book: we’re all trapped in the social network now

Elliot Bentley Deputy Editor

Y

ou may have noticed a couple of new features on Facebook recently. Listen to a song on Spotify, and it’ll immediately be posted to the news feed for all to see (and mock). Similarly, read an article on the Independent or the Guardian and they will be added to a persistent list of ‘recently read articles’, publicly comparing your reading habits to others.

This is ‘frictionless sharing’, Facebook’s latest initiative in their mission to track every last detail of our lives. Articles and songs are only the beginning: TV shows watched on iPlayer, goods bought from Amazon, or maybe even the photos you take on a smartphone could be added automatically to your news feed. All with permission, of course, but when was the last time any of us stopped and read the small print before clicking ‘accept’?

There are certainly bene�its to these

new features. After all, we all share on Facebook the things that we’re enjoying, whether it be songs, articles, or funny cat pictures. But we carefully curate this information, picking out only the best stuff or - more importantly - things that we feel represent us. I don’t want everyone to know that I’m listening to Justin Bieber, or that I’m reading reviews of the new Twilight �ilm (neither of which are true, by the way).

I’m not usually the sort to be bothered by Facebook’s regular makeovers, but these new features - introduced by Mark Zuckerberg at the company’s annual ‘f8’ event - go further than ever before in attempting to catalogue our entire lives.

‘Frictionless sharing’ is the �irst step, but in a few months’ time our pro�ile pages will be changing to a new design called ‘timeline’. Every status, photo and event that you’ve ever interacted with online is presented in an interactive timeline, allowing you - or any of your friends - to zip back in time to see what you were up to in, say, June 2008.

This information has been on Facebook all this time, of course, but currently it’s fairly dif�icult to travel back further than a couple of months. With the redesign, you can even travel back to before you originally joined the

site - all the way to the day you were born - and add in details of your life.

As well as standard statuses and photos, the redesign adds a selection of ‘life events’, which include “learned an instrument”, “lost weight”, “�irst kiss”, “military service”, and weirdest of all, “lost a loved one”.

Even without these, ‘timeline’ gives a scarily accurate snapshot of any speci�ic moment of our lives - well, assuming you’ve been moderately active on Facebook for the past few years. It’s a brilliant piece of design, and teams of hundreds must have worked day and night to get it working. But the implications for our own personal privacy are terrifying. Oh, and it will eventually be compulso-

Mark Zuckerberg shows off the new Facebook profile design. Photography: Niall Kennedy (Flickr)

11

THE COURIER Monday November 21 2011

comment

Politicians should get their paws off the press This week vantages of self-regulation; however, in my opinion, it would be disastrous to change to a more regulated system.

The British free press is a staple of

democracy in this country. It scrutinizes politicians effectively, and provides independent assessments of the government, which is an impos-

Ralph Blackburn

J

ames Murdoch, returning to parliament this week, provided us with political theatre of the highest calibre. Tom Watson’s declaration that Murdoch resembles a Ma�ia boss is clearly designed to get a headline, although may be more accurate than one would automatically assume.

Having paid off police of�icers, followed and bugged citizens, and, most notoriously, hacked phones, News International does sound fairly ma�ia-esque; so too does the family atmosphere at the top of the company, James Murdoch apparently being groomed to take over from Rupert, with other siblings squabbling in the background.

Rebekah Brooks’s famous quote, saying the story would end with “Alan Rusbridger (Editor of The Guardian) on his knees begging for mercy” perfectly displays the desire for retribution and power that existed at News International.

The idea was that News International was such a big and powerful company that if anybody asked questions of them or tried to stand up to them, they’d dig up dirt on them and destroy them.

Lawyers representing the hacking victims have apparently been phone hacked and placed under surveillance. It’s a frightening indictment of the power News International had and how much it thought it could get away with.

The Leveson Inquiry is currently assessing the advantages and disad-

Illustration: Emma Rawsthorne

sible hope for many countries around the world.

If a regulatory system was put in place, who exactly would appoint it and control it? It couldn’t be the government, because that would bring up a con�lict of interest. Self-regulation has to stay; that was not the reason that phone hacking began. That was due to an inescapable need for power.

The real issue is that it was possible for News International to gain so much power. Rupert Murdoch was about to secure the takeover of BSkyB, which would have given News International almost a monopoly over the British media. The free press that Britain is so proud of could have disappeared in a stroke.

Politicians felt like they had to appease the Murdoch Empire; otherwise it would be impossible for them to gain power. Tony Blair �lew all the way to Australia to get The Sun on New Labour’s side, and David Cameron has met with News International Executives a staggering 25 times in the last two years. If Murdoch had not had such a grasp over the British media, Cameron would most likely not feel as if he had to be quite so friendly with him.

At the height of the phone hacking scandal Cameron said: “Never again should we let a media group get too powerful.” Ofcom has launched a consultation into ownership and plurality in the British media, with a �igure of 20% being cited as the correct cap on ownership.

It’s therefore time, Mr Cameron, to put public interest �irst and start a bill that caps media ownership at 20%.

This means politicians will no longer cower before media moguls and the limit on power will ensure that horri�ic practices, like phone hacking Milly Dowler, will not take place again.

Cameron Crusades against “coasting” schools

Bridget Hamilton

I

’ll confess, for argument’s sake, that I racked up a near-embarrassing 12 A* grades at GCSE. From that you may deduce that I have been privately educated and probably drive a Range Rover, wear tweed and ful�il other such stereotypes. Quite the contrary.

I attended May�ield Grammar School, a state-funded institution in the positively downmarket riverside town of Gravesend, Kent, which Michael Deacon once affectionately described in The Daily Telegraph as “suffering from a certain shabbiness”.

My parents, like many in the neighbourhood, earn collectively less than £15,000 per year – the point being that academic ability and household income are not necessarily always related.

The Prime Minister does not appear to share such a view; this week he spoke out about what he calls the “secret failure” of comprehensives in prosperous areas, expressing utter surprise at schools such as Mossbourne Academy in Hackney

achieving better grades at GCSE than schools in some middle-class parts of the country. This is where I get confused; he seems to want to challenge the misconception that comprehensives in middle class areas naturally do well, but not the misconception that all comprehensives in working class or inner city areas naturally do badly. Of course, Cameron, educated

Cameron, not content with blaming the last government, has started on a rant against teaching and support staff at Eton before Brasenose College, Oxford, knows a great deal about the reality of state-funded education. To him, it’s simply mind-blowing that kids from council houses could be more motivated and more successful than their polo-playing counterparts without there being something fundamentally wrong with the education system.

Among many other ill-informed plans, comes the move towards relaxing expansion and admissions rules for the country’s more successful institutions (including grammar schools). These institutions would be extremely unlikely to retain such high reputations after sacri�icing small class sizes and regular student-teacher interaction.

My former secondary school took pride in its careful monitoring of and one-to-one contact with year 11 students, which would not be possible in an overcrowded, less intimate school.

My grades were fantastic, but not by any means an anomaly: May�ield cut down its year 7 intake from 6 to 5 classes in 2006 and has reaped the bene�its in its 89.25% A*-B pass rate at GCSE this summer Cameron is particularly concerned about “places where governors, parents and teachers might never guess that things might be wrong”. Perhaps we should give teachers a little more credit; certainly those that I worked with last year as a gap student in Chichester, West Sussex (a prosperous ‘market town’ if ever I saw one) seemed to have a sixth sense when it came to spotting able students “coasting” along with simply satisfactory grades.

Never fear, however; the new methods being put in place will ensure “parents and governors … put staff under intense pressure to improve

standards” – although they will unfortunately be striving to improve them equipped with the most limited classroom resources since the Stone Age. If I’m going to be really cynical, I could ponder upon what the point of improving said standards actually is, when many students completing their GCSEs this year will not be able to afford to go to university…

Perhaps the problem that really needs addressing is that of schools who push C/D grade boundary candidates for the sake of league tables while leaving the B/A boundary students in the lurch – an issue in which class is surely irrelevant.

It seems to me that Cameron, not content with blaming the last government, has started on a rant against teaching and support staff who have done nothing but get caught up between the moving goalposts of our underfunded education system. The Prime Minister’s young daughter, Nancy, may be at a state primary school for now, but I wonder how long this courageous publicity stunt will continue.

Emails in response to the articles should be sent to editor.union@ ncl.ac.uk

I’ve learnt...

Becky Orwin

...Edinburgh is bad for your bank account.

So, last Saturday morning I was to be found dragging my hungover, sleepdeprived, mysteriously bruised body (well, mysterious until I remembered the bouncy castle) out of bed at an ungodly hour in order to drag myself and a friend down to the train station.

A couple of days previously we had decided to go to Edinburgh for some early Christmas shopping, seeing as we had nothing better to do (well, besides work) and both of us have visited and loved the Scottish capital before.

It only took an hour and a half on the beautifully half-empty train – it would have been a lovely journey had it not been for the unnecessarily loud 5-year-old in the seat next to us, banging away at my poor, aching head.

Anyway, both me and my friend had a vague idea of where to go when we left Edinburgh train station and wandered up to the high street.

The main shopping street in Edinburgh is absolutely loaded with tourist places that only sell the following: kilts, anything woollen and drinking �lasks (at least they know and embrace their reputation). However, if you delve a bit deeper and explore the side-streets, there are some lovely little independent shops selling all kinds of trinkets, which make excellent (though, sadly, not particularly cheap) Christmas presents.

But we managed to while away a good few hours exploring the streets of Edinburgh – it is an extremely beautiful city, and I really love it there, even if the University did reject me up front (*cough* gits *cough*).

The trip was less pleasant for my bank account, which is starting to shrivel up and die again, after the boost a couple of months ago of my student loan. But, in the build up to Christmas, a little bank account wilting is to be expected, and I did get some great presents for my friends and family.

The trip made me realise how important it is to go a bit further a�ield in your time at your university – exploring your own new city is, obviously, important, but don’t forget the nearby cities either. Durham, York and Edinburgh are all gorgeous cities that aren’t too far away now, so there’s really no excuse to not go and visit. I still have plenty of exploring to do in the North East myself; Seahouses was one of my favourite places when I was a kid, and I’m really looking forward to going back and paddling in the sea (though I think I’m going to wait until summer to minimise the possibility of frostbite…).

Weekends at University can get a bit same-y, with the cycle of sleeping, working and going out, but it’s really not that hard to shake things up a bit and go a little further a�ield. Okay sure, going to Edinburgh or York isn’t as cheap as going to Whitley Bay, but you’re only a student once, you know.

Go on, live dangerously.

12

THE COURIER Monday November 21 2011

comment

Is talking with the Taliban a peace of cake?

Tessa Tyler Todd

T

he war with Afghanistan is a topic I have always felt strongly about. At the age of 11 I joined the thousands who marched against it and now here at university, looking at this big topic in a more detailed manner, I feel the way I did then: confused but still very much opinionated. The reason this issue is back in the news again is due to Philip Hammond’s comments in an interview last week. In it, he introduced the idea of talking to the Taliban in a bid to ensure peace, which from our Western perspective is de�ined as stability. He commented that this can “only happen by an inclusive political settlement that will involve bringing elements of the Taliban into that process.” Although Hammond was Transport Minister before his new post and some would think he knows more about the tube than the Taliban, he himself took part in the talks with the IRA and so has �irsthand experience about how to handle sensitive negotiations. At �irst I was sceptical about

the talks and how useful they would be. I was reassured by Hammond’s comment that “we have to take a mature approach in terms of negotiating with the Taliban and think about the real world in which we live.”

I personally applaud Hammond’s approach; like most people I generally favour discussion over combat.

I feel that by simply developing a greater understanding of Afghanistan and its culture that long term peace and stability can be achieved. This can only happen by opening discussions. Hammond’s approach differs greatly from that of his predecessor Liam Fox. Fox publically stated that he wanted troops out as soon as possible as they were not there “for the sake of the education policy in a broken 13th-century country.” Many military of�icials spoke out against this, instead putting forward opinions that are more in line with what Hammond supposedly proposes. It is a popular opinion that we cannot simply withdraw our troops from Afghanistan; we should leave the country in a better state and not leave it open to Taliban resurgence. This needs a longterm commitment from us, and one that not only Hammond but also key military of�icials want to make.

What remains to be settled exactly is how much longer this stance will last. Hammond is already under increasing pressure to commit to cuts and the new defence reforms. Such

reforms like many others focus more on affordability, yet if they are passed it could sadly prevent Hammond from ful�illing his long-term promises. With debate already sparked about what effect the defence cuts may have on the war in Afghanistan, Bill Ainsworth, defence secretary under Gordon Brown, commented that by widening the area of responsibility as Hammond has suggested might “potentially undermine their ability to succeed in the way they have done in the past couple of years.” We have come such a long way in regards to Afghanistan and nothing should jeopardise this. Many fear that the cuts would have a devastating impact and potentially undo the past decade of combat.

Therefore we must question the longterm viability of what Hammond is currently committing to. It is de�initely a step in the right direction and

it is refreshing to have someone like Hammond who seems in his three weeks in the position to have picked up a greater understanding than Fox managed during his entire time in of�ice. I do hope that these talks and Hammond’s proposals take place so we can achieve long term peace and

stability. The only problem is that the government don’t seem to look beyond their time in of�ice. We just have to hope that Hammond does not allow the short-term budget cuts to remove his focus on the future and implements some changes that will make a real difference.

A collective agreement with the Taliban is fundamental if we want to withdraw. Photography: Helmand Blog (Flickr)

Best of this week’s online responses Re: Tequila barred from Riverside Anna: I think this shows that Leeds council have a sense of humour and Newcastle council don’t. Leeds obviously a better Student party town now wouldn’t you say?

Clare: @Anna: I wouldn’t say Leeds have a better sense of humour, especially because ‘come and swallow’ is not particularly funny?!

Re: Poundland get picky about poppies Anonymous: It’s horrendous that anyone should be actively told not to wear something which symbolises pride and respect to those who not only made the ultimate sacrifice in the first and second world wars, but also to those today who are fighting in Afghanistan. Poundland should be ashamed.

Anonymous [2]: I believe that people in Britain should be able to wear them as it shows respect for those that have died in the war for our country. Your comment about it not reflecting modern politcal beliefs is incorrect as poppies symbolise soldiers that have died in EVERY war. Not just world wars 1 and 2. I suggest you should check your facts before you make comments such as these. Show respect for the people who have died for your country.

Anonymous [3]: I think you’ll find the author said ‘for some’ it is not a reflection of modern political beliefs. I suggest you read articles more closely before you make comments such as the one above.

James: @Anonymous 2: Did those who have died in contemporary conflicts die for ‘our country’ (itself a pretty facile social construction) or did they in fact die for the aspirations of Tony Blair?

I have plenty of respect for anybody who joined up to fight against the Nazis, but please don’t tell me that I owe anything to somebody who frankly joined the army as it was the best career choice open to them.

Anonymous [4]: The author needs to realise its the royal british legions appeal and has absolutely nothing whatsoever to do with the salvation army Re: Preachers should not pass go, should not collect £200 Sam: I agree. Although the idea of human equality intersects both religion and anti-corporal greed, I don’t agree with the St. Paul’s protesters using Jesus’ name to keep their ground. Their argument has enough justification as it is-even if it is maybe time for them to move on. A good article.

Anonymous: @ Susie: I think it’s ridiculous-they’ve made their point now they should move on! Capitalist or anti-capitalist, I’m pretty sure Jesus wouldn’t have wanted a bunch of angry individuals prohibiting other church-goers from visiting the cathedral

To respond to this week’s articles visit

thecourieronline.co.uk

Toeing the breadline

Three Courier writers struggle to survive on a miniscule food budget page 14

Are we really in control?

Joe Willet explores the science behind our everyday decisions page 30

lifestyle fashion music ďŹ lm arts science tv careers

14

THE COURIER Monday November 21 2011

lifestylefeatures

thecourieronline.co.uk/lifestyle c2.lifestyle@ncl.ac.uk

Living on a budget

Shopping List

Long life milk -49p (x3) Cereals - 31p Noodles - 11p (x3) White bread - 55p Tuna chunk - 58p 1 Potato - 15p Eggs - 69p Stir fry - £1 3 Bananas - 28p Iceberg lettuce - 60p Tomatoes - 14p (x2) Tomato soup 17p (x2) Chicken �illet (buying 2 packets for £4, £0,5 eachx2)£0.5 eachx2)

Naiara Reig attempts to live on £1 a day for a week

“It can’t be that dif�icult, it’s just about planning” I said to myself. I also thought that, fortunately, as this was my reading week, I could have all my meals at home, what is essential in these circumstances. And feeling this optimistic I started doing my shopping list, trying to include all types of food (yes, that tuna chunk is my serving of �ish for the week).

The surprise arrived when I had to spend two hours trying to get the �inal price down from ten pounds. Finally, I found a way of spending just seven pounds and having a little bit of everything, so I started feeling con�ident again. But that was just until I put my tiny purchase on a table to take a picture…

And thus my week with just one pound a day to spend on food began on Sunday.

Saturday to Sunday It seemed easy at the beginning, but just until Monday night: Jam session at the Union, with all your friends having crisps and drinks and you just looking at them it’s really hard (I spent the night stealing a little from all of them).

Monday I realized I was thinking about food all day. I couldn’t stop planning my next meal, and that was creating a strange sense of anxiety that made me feel hungry all

£1 a day

the time. “Just stop thinking about having carbonara!”.

Tuesday My second noodle bowl for lunch and just a salad for dinner. That evening I felt an uncontrollable urge to take the bus to the town centre and have a Big Mac, but that would have been a really big cheat. So I had a tea (with one of the tea bags I had before starting this experience) and I went to bed.

Wednesday My �latmates asked if they were able to give me some food while looking at my second canned tomato soup of the week. They’re just lovely.

I was so happy with all that free food around

Thursday Thursday was such an easy day: I had a birthday party at night. I was so happy, with all that free food around me, but then I realized that my friends were taking pictures and I seemed to eat a different thing in every single photo, like a person who has never seen a big bowl full of pasta. Just pathetic.

Friday I felt so proud of myself on Friday night: I did it. Now you all know you can survive if all your money has just run out and your account is nearly empty by the end of the month. But… would I recommend it? At all. I just have to say that I am having a great pasta bowl with homemade carbonara sauce while writing.

Shopping List Chicken & gravy pie (reduced) - £1.50 Potatoes (reduced) - 50p Broccoli - 40p Onions – blagged Shallots – 85p Steak, Sausages & Mince - £5 Tinned tomatoes – 30p Chips & Gravy - £1 Pasta – 75p Bread – 85p Packet of Scampi fries – 50p Bottle of Pepsi Max – 94p Bottomless Diet coke from Nandos £2.25 Free whole chicken from Nandos – Priceless!!!

£15

Kate Stokes attempts to live on £15 for a week So the idea of living on £15 for the week seemed doable.

I’m an optimist, I’d survive. Initially, I did. Granted, I may not have eaten as much as the average student due to a bout of food poisoning from a dodgy Korma the previous

week but I seem to have survived my week on a budget.

Saturday to Sunday I ate toast. Plain, dry toast. It was all my stomach could handle after the mouldy Korma. So whilst I moped about not being able to enjoy food (bad times), economically it was incredibly bene�icial to my week (good times).

Monday As a cheer-up method though, on Bon�ire Night I headed to Elswick Park with my �latmates for a �irework display where I treated myself and my stomach to chips and gravy.

THE COURIER Monday November 21 2011

featureslifestyle

Lifetsyle Editors:Ben Parkin and Olivia Mason Online Lifestyle Editor: Emma Balter

Shopping Lis

Pound a day

t

Evie O’Sullivan attempts to live on £20 for a week In China, thousands of people have embraced the “100 Yuan challenge,” living on ten pounds a week. So, rationed with twenty pounds for a week’s worth of food and drink, I thought this shouldn’t be so bad, eh?

Saturday The week started swimmingly with a bowl of frosted wheats and beans on toast for lunch. This was followed by a home cooked chicken stir fry for dinner and as the night approached, the value vodka came out with vengeance, savoured with Tesco’s value lemonade.

Sunday Sunday, being the designated hangover healer, meant I routinely spent half the day asleep.

On awaking I was blissfully alerted to the fact that after missing a meal, I would have some extra grub to dive into, and so for brunch, I had the ever satisfying beans on toast with melted cheese. It was only when evening came that I began to struggle; watching my �lat mate tucking into her Sunday roast, with the smell of stuf�ing tantalizing my nose buds, left me sat with my �inger sandwiches and the palpable feeling I had been hard done to.

Monday Monday began with a bowl of frosted wheats and a chicken sandwich for lunch, followed by chicken couscous, peppers, and humus for dinner. Delicious and nutritious!

Tuesday to Thursday This went pretty well. So I may have blown it out of proportion when one of my �latmates (you know who you are) used my mince. I’m a woman on a budget; every penny counts and all the rest of the clichés. Regardless of this little incident, I managed to make a few tasty meals during the week. Particularly the pie and roast potatoes I made for our �lat. If I’ve learned one thing this week it’s to head to Tesco’s late at night for all the reduced items. Following the person with the reducing gun may be a bit weird but you get �irst dabs on that reduced caterpillar chocolate cake.

On the plus side as well, they have offered to cook

Tuesday As the fourth day of my challenge arrived, my stomach was practically eating itself, fuelled by my ravenous and unsatis�ied appetite. So, feeling like some mild experimentation I made a chicken and humus sandwich, followed by some trusty supper noodles and for dinner, sliced potatoes with melted cheese and two �ish �ingers.

Frosted Whe Soft White Faats from Tesco - £2.09 Chinese Noodrmhouse Bread - 58p Super Noodle les - 81p Cathedral Cit s - 79p y mature che £1.88 ddar Tesco crispy p otato slices: r to - £1.09 educed Tesco chicken Tesco’s Chick pieces - £2 couscous - £2en tomato and basil Tesco’s reduc to pasta - 99ped sun blushed tomaTesco value b Milk - 58p aked beans - 38p Pepper from Two onions frGrainger market - 40p om Grainger - 75p market Tesco reduce d sugar snap 89p peas Londis Imper Tesco’s value ial Vodka - £4.79 Red pepper h lemonade: 38p Freddos and umus - £1.09 6p left over Penny chews - £1

Wednesday After four days of no budgeted sweet treats I was having serious sugar cravings and so I expertly resorted to penny chews and freddos with my remaining coppers. Amidst this cheeky snacking I had toast, pasta and the remainder of the couscous. Yet as the sun set on Richardson Road and the glad rags came out, I was feeling slightly morose about the state of things and so I resorted to the cheap and ef�icient dirty pint trick, where it seemed that everyman and their dog was doing their bit to intoxicate my drink. It is not surprising that after arriving back home slightly worse for wear I tucked into a feast of bread, �ish �ingers and noodles…not thinking about how much of a sacri�ice this would prove to be!

Thursday After waking up feeling somewhat like a �ish �inger, I was by no means surprised to �ind myself still hungry. Looking at the scarcity of my remaining provisions was not going to improve my mood and so after making a trusty cuppa, I set out to make myself a poor excuse of a makeshift fry up. Frosted wheats and beans with melted cheese proved not to be the most tantalizing mix, and so by the time the evening came, I was almost resorting to crime to survive. In a sheer and for me next week.

Friday My highlight of the week however, was my friend who took pity on me (Thanks Katie). Realising I was up to my eye balls in pasta, she took me to Nando’s to share her whole free chicken. I only had to pay for my drink which was bottomless (naturally, I took full advantage). And yes, it was absolutely beautiful! By the time the weekend rolled around, I enjoyed the attention and food that was lavished on me by my parents. Well, I’m entitled to it.

Overall, I missed buying things on a whim and I

£20

brutal attempt to avoid bin diving, I made another chicken stir fry with onions, red peppers and sugar snap peas, feeling slightly proud of myself for not resorting to the cheap calori�ic unhealthy food I would have if not budgeting.

Friday By the time Friday came I could not be more excited for the end of a gruelling week in the dog house. For breakfast, I �inished off my cereal and then had super noodles with chicken for dinner, slightly remorseful of the fact that I had not budgeted in enough food for my lunch! With Friday night approaching and all my weekly supply of booze annihilated I was by no means the life and soul of the party…yet when looking down at the �loor in Basement, wondering just what I was doing there, I found a �ive pound note stuck to my shoe! And so apologising on behalf of whichever poor soul missed out on their trebles, I on the other hand tucked into one of the toon’s �inest delicacies- a cheeky palmo, leaving me with two pounds to show for my week-luck of the Irish some might say!

didn’t go out once this week; even Sam Jacks’ trebles seemed a bit of a stretch on my budget. As a result, my social life did take a bit of a dent which meant I resorted to winning my �latmates over with a home cooked meal (it worked!) On the plus side, I managed to get a lot of work done this week as a result of not using trips to Londis as an excuse to my procrastination (okay, so I went once but Pepsi and Scampi fries are a necessity).

But hands down the best part of the whole week?

My bank account is a lot happier and I used the spare money to buy a new pair of shoes. Win-win I’d say.

15

across the world Bolivia

Bolivia is the poorest country in South America. GDP per person is only £1230 a year, and there is a National Minimum Wage of about £64 a month. For only £1, you could buy 1kg of coco leaves, which is enough to manufacture about 3g of cocaine. There are no McDonalds in Bolivia, so no chance of a cheap Big Mac, but for £1 you could enjoy 2 pints of beer in La Paz, a sandwich and a coffee, or 10 glasses of orange juice from a roadside stall.

Australia

Australia is one of the most expensive countries in the world, but the average Australian has to work for only 14 minutes to be able to afford a Big Mac which would cost about £3.07, and a soft serve ice cream in McDonalds is just 32p. A pint of lager in Australia averages at £3.69, whilst a coffee in a 7/11 store would cost about 70p. So, living on £1 a day probably wouldn’t be possible unless you were willing to survive on ice cream and coffee, but the National minimum wage in Australia is £9.92 an hour!

Canada

A beer in America’s more expensive neighbour would set you back anything from £3.50-£5, but you’d be able to get a �izzy drink in a bar for about £1.20.

You’d still be able to enjoy a night out on a budget if you didn’t mind being the only sober one! And, if you fancied something greasy on the way home, the traditional Canadian dish of ‘Poutine’, a delicious mix of chips, cheese curds and gravy would cost about £4, or a Big Mac would cost you just over £3. Minimum wage is anywhere between £5.40 and £6.70 an hour, depending on which state you’re in, so Canada is pretty similar to the UK in terms of costs.

Uganda

A pound would stretch much further in Uganda, where a basic local dish such as a meat stew and maize will only cost you about 25p, and a pint would set you back about 78p. The minimum wage, which was last changed in 1984 stands at 6,000 Ugandan Shillings- about £1.50 a month, meaning the average Ugandan earns just over £100 a year if that’s what they’re getting paid.

Republic of Ireland

Excuse the stereotype, but for £1 you could be the lucky owner of half a kilo of potatoes, enough to feed you for a week if you were desperate (or Irish). Alternatively, a Big Mac would cost about £3.40.

A pint of Guinness can cost anything from £2.50 to £5 depending on where you are, and a soft drink in a bar will set you back about £2. In Dublin, the minimum you could really live on as a tourist would be about £50 a day including a stay in a rock bottom hostel, but this varies a lot in other cities in Ireland.

Georgina Moule

16

THE COURIER Monday November 21 2011

lifestyle

thecourieronline.co.uk/lifestyle c2.lifestyle@ncl.ac.uk

Hidden heart attacks

Michelle Janetschek stalks out some shocking calorie secrets

Shorthand

20 Minute Club Who? The 20 minute society.

20 minutes? Someone’s out of practice…

You’re funny. It’s actually one of the most unique societies going; set up four years ago, it won ‘Best New Society’ in its �irst year and has tallied up an impressive 180 members.

This is all rather intriguing - but I still have no idea what these people actually get up to in such a short space of time…

20 minutes isn’t the time they spend together - it’s the time they have to get to whatever the surprise activity is that they’re participating in. Greyhound racing, graf�iti, trips abroad….

one condition. The key is to watch out for the dressing - it often contains cream, mayonnaise or crème fraiche. For example, Thousand Island dressing has as many as 468 kcal per 100g.

Olive oil and balsamic vinegar are the lighter options.

And we thought it wasn’t THAT bad…

A list of some dishes, snacks and drinks we thought didn’t have a lot of calories.

Breakfast

Our all time favourite for the “I am in a hurry and will be late” morning: a muf�in and coffee. It is the perfect breakfast to go. Either you have it at home, ready to be taken with you, or you just pick it up on your way to university when you have slept in. But be cautious as a blueberry muf�in already contains 390 calories and a chocolate one even outbids it with 440 calories per 100g.

Lunch

Salad is the embodiment of healthy food.

The idea of using it to compensate for the all-you-can-eat feast yesterday or your general weakness for croissants is only reasonable under

Snack

Chocolate muf�in: 440 calories per 100g

Trail mix as a healthy snack inbetween lectures is worse than expected. The reason? Trail mixes mainly contain nuts and they have a lot of calories. 15 grams of nuts, which is only a small handful, are equal to 100 kcal. As it takes a little more than that to satisfy hunger, bananas are a healthier choice. They are more �illing and have the same amount of calories, but per piece.

Dinner

Who thought that Asian noodles with

a little bit of chicken and some vegetables would be way better than a burger and fries? Wrong. A portion of Asian noodles has as many calories as an average burger and medium order of fries - around 830 kcal. The problem is that many meals in English-Chinese cuisine are prepared with a lot of fat and oil. As one spoonful of oil contains nearly 100 calories, the fried vegetables, noodles and chicken become heavy and greasy.

Alcohol

Alcohol has a lot of calories. That’s why people who love cocktails but keep an eye on the scales shouldn’t order anything too sweet, like Sex on the Beach, or anything with too much cream, like, for example, Piña Colada. A Long Island Iced Tea appears to be the right option, but even this cocktail already has over 300 calories!

Maybe it is safer to stick to a glass of white wine (or the whole bottle).

I’ve never heard of anything like it.

No, you haven’t - only Newcastle and Edinburgh have societies like it. However, just because you haven’t opened your eyes and ears to the fun to be had round here, that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t treat yourself….

How kind. So how do I get involved?

Well all you need to do is sign up online (it’s only £5). Then when something’s happening, you’ll get a text 20 minutes beforehand telling you where to be - but not what’s going on. Obviously some things take a bit more preparation (everyone one was mysteriously told to buy white t-shirts prior to graf�iti day), and emails are sent round enquiring as to people’s availability.

Anything else?

Clearly it’s a lot of fun. Some pretty good drinking gets done and unlike most, if not all, other societies, it’s not based on a hobby or a course - nothing is required of you except a penchant for having a great time.

Ask Aunty Angela

This week Aunty Angela is here to discuss one-night stands, boobs and hot lecturers... student that he is tutoring.

I heard you can have too much of a good thing…?

Well no - not unless you call surprise trips to Barcelona for £55 (the price for all the trips abroad - four days and three nights) heading into dangerous waters. Having said that, one girl did have an interesting encounter with the Spanish police that time…

Which ended in…?

Oh she’s �ine - nothing bad has ever happened. It’s all in good spirit - just like the Christmas related activity coming up (details cannot, obviously, be imparted).

Check in and get involved. You never know where you might end up…

Nonie Heal

Noodles: 830 calories

Trail mix: 100 calories per handful

may be able to get out of getting a bruised face. All I would say is don’t do it again or he really will never forgive you.

I am feeling really homesick; I am trying not to go home every weekend but as soon as Friday comes the only thing I want to do is go home. What do I do?

Illustration: Jennifer Dodsworth I think I am in love with my seminar tutor. He is a PhD student and is gorgeous. Is this allowed? Can I make a move?

I think it is a bit inappropriate. Although he isn’t a lecturer, I think it would still be considered unsuitable. Maybe wait until that module has �inished �irst? Then I don’t see why not! He’s still a student so as far as I’m concerned, he’s fair game!

But beware - he is probably older than you and may say no to going out with a

There is nothing wrong with going home; I have a friend that does so almost every week. But, let’s be honest, it’s a bit dull.

Maybe you should try organising things to do over the weekend with your friends so you have something to look forward to?

Like going to the market and having �ish and chips in Tynemouth on a Sunday or going to see the Angel of the North.

I recently ended up having a drunken one-night stand, but the girl was an ex of my best friend. I know he is over her but the break-up was messy and I think he will be angry with me. Should I tell him or pretend it didn’t happen?

You’ve ventured into best friend noman’s-land here and I think you will have to face the consequences. You have to tell him because if he �inds out another way it will be hard for anyone to stop him punching you. At least if you tell him you

After coming to university I feel really inadequate about the size of my breasts. Some girls here seem to have enormous ones! Guys seem to really love boobs and can never seem to get enough of them - and they de�initely won’t when it comes to me. What do I do?

If you have any problems you need help with, email Aunty Angela at c2.lifestyle@ ncl.ac.uk

Honestly, if a guy only sees your boobs when he talks to you then you seriously need to start seeing some other guys.

Yeah, a lot of girls here have huge boobs, but a lot of them either have fake ones, stuff their bras or are one of those people whose weight just gravitates to their breasts.

A de�inate advantage appears when you go to the gym. If you have larger boobs you’ll be shaking all over the place and be even more self conscious. We don’t want you knocking yourself out now, do we?

The real question here is: “Would you discriminate against a guy based on his willy size?” because if you do, what do you expect in return?

THE COURIER Monday November 21 2011

lifestyle

Lifestyle Editors: Olivia Mason and Ben Parkin Online Editor: Emma Balter

IanJonesPennyPincher IanJones The most important meal of the day

Eat something

There’s a very good reason why breakfast is dubbed the most important meal of the day, yet still many of you reading this won’t have eaten a thing before leaving the house this morning. Starting the day on an empty stomach won’t only mean you’re less productive and motivated in lectures, but you’ll also end up spending far more on lunch later in the day. If you have fruit or bread in the house as most students do, then even if you’re in a hurry an apple on the walk to university is better than nothing.

Toast

Undeniably cheap and popular, toast offers only marginally more sustenance than skipping breakfast altogether. For an undergrad in a hurry, two slices of toast to go are perfect and economical. Remember though, if you’re layering brand-name peanut butter over it, then it’s probably not as cheap as you think. For most people, however, it’s not enough and toast for breakfast will lead down the familiar road to a much bigger lunch.

Review

The Lodge

Oats

Not commonplace in student kitchens but astoundingly cheap. At 2 kilos for £1.83, combine it with 2 litres of milk for 60p and a pound of golden syrup for 99p and you’ll �ind yourself getting a �illing breakfast for a bargain price of just 25 pence per day for two weeks. It only takes a minute to heat milk in the microwave and then pour over oats. For those who don’t like syrup, it can be substituted for jam, brown sugar or, if you’re a Marmite lover, I’ve been told it works well with porridge, though I remain unconvinced.

Cereal

It’s popular. It’s tasty. It’s quick. But it’s expensive. Almost everyone seems to like cereal, but for the scrupulous spender it’s something to steer clear of. Not only is most cereal packed with supremely unhealthy quantities of sugar, but if you were to eat just two bowls of Crunchy Nut each day, that would set you back approximately eight pounds a week, including milk. Now that’s not a Illustration: Jenny Dods-

How to go cocktail crazy

As we all walked into The Lodge we were actually surprised at how nice it looked. I myself had never been and was expecting the kind of seediness you would experience in other neighbouring bars. Not at all.

The decor was simple and classy, and the bar over�lowed with shining bottles of all sorts of liquors. We couldn’t wait.

The charming cocktail trainer started by telling us about the history of the Long Island Iced Tea: during Prohibition, when alcohol was illegal in the United States, people used to pour as much bootlegged alcohol as they could into bathtubs and then mixed it with lemonade and coke so it would look like your standard iced tea. I enjoyed the trivia, and his rendition of the drink even more.

The theme for the training was how to make your usual cocktails a little more wintery. We sat back as he showed us how to make Gingerbread Martinis, Eggnog, Apple and Cinnamon Mojitos, Honey and Ginger Cosmopolitans and loads more. We took it in turns to make them ourselves and, to be honest, our attempts weren’t half bad.

As we were getting increasingly giddy (i.e. tipsy) the manager had the wise idea to bring in some of their pizzas for us to try: the Americano, the Margarita and the Chilli were all fantastic and went down very well.

Overall, I would say the cocktails were delicious, the trainer very friendly and we all had a wonderful afternoon.

Have a look online for all the recipes of the cocktails we sampled.

Emma Balter

Location: 28 Mosley Street, Newcastle Upon Tyne, NE1 1DF

Website: http://www. thelodgenewcastle. co.uk/venue.cfm Hours: Every day 11am1am

good start to the day.

The traditional

What is there not to like about sausages, bacon, beans, hash browns, mushrooms and eggs when you’re nursing a Sinners-induced hangover?

The only downsides are the price and the washing up. If you’re able to split it with the rest of your �lat and resort to value range ingredients, beans and eggs, then the price of a fry up can be whittled down to a more affordable £1 per person.

White chocolate brownies

Ingredients (serves 4)

200g caster sugar 4 eggs 225g butter, plus extra for greasing 175g plain �lour (sifted) 250g white chocolate 50g macadamia nuts

What’s Hot Sunday Quayside market

With a variety of food, coffee, and arts and crafts for sale, what’s not to love about the Quayside market?

Starbucks’ red cups

These festive cups can put anyone in a cheery mood, especially when paired with a Gingerbread or Toffee Nut latte.

Breaking Dawn Part 1

MattAspin StudentSupper You’ll �ind yourself hard-pushed to �ind somebody who has never had a chocolate brownie before. They truly do provide a delicious treat for the sweet-toothed among you and there is no denying that there are many recipe variations for dozens of different brownie types. This recipe, using white chocolate, produces remarkably different brownies to the traditional milk chocolate variety, despite the recipes being similar. By adding the white chocolate, you create an unbelievably moist and dense brownie that will be sure to have you baking a weekly batch. The macadamia nuts are, of course, optional but really are worth adding. Delicious with custard, ice-cream or simply by themselves, these little brownies will supply you with a fantastic dessert that can be eaten at any time of the day!

17

Part 1 of Breaking Dawn is now out! Don’t miss your chance to see more of the Twilight Saga.

Eldon Square’s Christmas decorations

Christmas decorations in November are not for everyone, but the fairy lights and hanging ornaments sure are aesthetically pleasing.

Campus construction grease a medium-sized square cake tin.

2. In a bowl, beat together sugar and eggs until light and �luffy.

3. Meanwhile, melt the butter over the stove and add 200g of the white chocolate, stirring continuously until the chocolate and butter are both fully melted.

4. Turn off the heat and add the �lour, followed by the beaten eggs and sugar.

5. Add the remaining white chocolate in chunks to the mixture, together with the macadamia nuts.

6. Pour the mixture into the cake tin and place into the oven for 30 minutes, or until a knife inserted into the centre comes out clean.

The never-ending construction on campus has forced students to navigate different routes to lectures. Not helpful if you’re running late.

Dirty Houses

Make sure you and your housemates keep to a cleaning schedule before dust and mould overtake your home.

Wearing your pyjamas to the supermarket

Sorry students, but there’s a time and a place for pyjamas, and that place is not Tesco.

What’s Not

Cooking Instructions: 1. Preheat oven to 180°C/Gas Mark 6, and

Alexandra Carr

18

THE COURIER Monday November 21 2011

lifestyle Get on your winter walking boots

thecourieronline.co.uk/lifestyle c2.lifestyle@ncl.ac.uk

Evelina Malteson explores the perfect places to go for a stroll despite the season’s chill Christmas is around the corner, the thief who raises your weight with all those holiday treats. Instead of skipping the wonderful Christmas gingerbread latte (how delicious) - get out there, see something new, burn some calories and kill your guilty conscience. Enjoy these winter walks in the Newcastle area.

Hadrian’s Wall

Hadrian’s Wall is located in north-east England and has a history that starts in 122 AD under the rule of Emperor Hadrian. The complex was a defensive forti�ication in Roman Britain. Hadrian’s Wall offers walks you can do by yourself as well as guided walks giving you the opportunity to spot some of the glorious wildlife in the area. Furthermore, there are walks suitable for everyone. It doesn’t matter if the sandwich pack is the most important part or if you are the more athletic type.

A longer stay over a couple of nights is highly recommended for the ultimate relaxing experience. Cheap accommodation is offered: only £10 a night.

The journey from Newcastle to Hadrian’s Wall takes around two hours depending on how you travel. There are rail and bus connections from Central Station but also direct buses. The return trip costs around £12.

More information at www.hadrianswall.org

Explore Gateshead countryside

Did you know that half of Gateshead is made up of countryside? The area holds

a large number of national parks and nature reserves with woodland and riverbanks. A lot of the destinations are only a short bus ride away. Get away from stressful everyday uni life and take a walk in the countryside. Bring your camera, a warm sweater and something hot to drink.

Watergate Forest Park, for example, is a really pretty country park with a lake, woodland and wild�lower meadows.

Marked out routes make your walk easy and enjoyable. The park even includes a range of sculptures.

A folder with maps, bus connections and recommended walks and parks can be found at Gateshead.gov.uk.

There are also organised events all year round in the Gateshead countryside like Red Kite Safaris and Minibeast Hunts.

Prices are acceptable for a student wallet and an event timetable with prices can be found on the same site as the maps and walks.

Depending on which walk you choose, the trips can entertain you for a few hours up to a whole day! The Northern Gallery for Contemporary Art and The

National Glass Centre, both in Sunderland, are highly recommended for a visit!

Get the map and more information at www.northeastengland.co.uk

Art walks in Tyne and Wear

Being interested in art is no excuse for sitting still. The Tyne-Wear partnership has collected the greatest museums, monuments and galleries in the area. All you have to do is to download the map distributed on their website, available as a PDF. The maps show you how to get to the art walks by metro or bus and display information about the monuments and art pieces along the way.

Stay in Newcastle or take the bus or train to North Sunderland or South Shields, put on some good walking boots and get ready for a cultural knock-out.

And even better, most of the galleries and museums are admission-free.

Illustration: Jenny Dodsworth

Fixing your face furniture

With Movember upon us, Maria Loupa dishes out advice on styling that ’tache Upper lip feeling lonely and a perhaps a bit chilly? Well, now you can warm it up while serving a good cause. For those who don’t know, Movember is a global movement that raises awareness and funds for men’s health issues like prostate and testicular cancer. Before you go Movember-style, you should consider two very important factors: your face shape and features, and the image you want to portray. Moustaches come with dos and don’ts so choose them wisely.

After you’ve decided on the desired style, you should learn how to keep it up. There are some basic and simple grooming rules you should follow. Buy a moustache grooming kit (comb and scissors).

Following the line of your upper lip, use the comb to align the moustache and clip the ends with the scissors. Start from the centre and proceed outwards; symmetry is everything.

For the rest of your face, you will need a standard razor. If you want to live the full moustache experience, you can go old-school and

buy a shaving brush too. Always use shaving cream to avoid cuts; a lanolin-based one or even plain pomade will work best. Style it with a little wax, applying it on dry hair and then combing through. To avoid itchiness and dandruff wash with a mild shampoo, not soap.

Using conditioner and moisturizing

it with a little wine once or twice a day works well. Be patient; it takes time and experimentation with various products until you �ind the one that works best for you.

Dear hipsters, hammer pants of the world or just moustache-lovers, this is your time to shine… Happy Movember!

The ‘Hulk Hogan’ Are you more than six feet tall and so bulky that no one messes with you? If the answer is no, stick to a regular moustache; there’s a reason why Yosemite Sam is not real.

The ‘Hitler’ Don’t expect to avoid the direct link; trust me, no one will think ‘Charlie Chaplin’. This is not funny, not cool and de�initely doesn’t look good. Do the world a favour and either get that thing off of your face or grow a proper one.

The ‘Tom Selleck’ Do you want to be a ‘big deal’? If you want to serve and protect 70s style, this rich moustache, which oozes with power, con�idence and mahogany, is the right one for you. And you know a cigar would go great with that.

The ‘James Franco’ This one seems to be a very popular choice, as it is the most common outcome of not shaving your moustache for a month. The slimmer the more sophisticated. Who cares if you look like the Pringles guy in his prime?

The ‘Aunt Muriel’ If you look like you’ve just had a glass of milk, you’re doing it wrong. In order for you to ever feel a woman’s touch before the end of the month, wipe this thing off.

THE COURIER Monday November 21 2011

sex&relationshipslifestyle

Lifestyle Editors: Olivia Mason and Ben Parkin Online Editor: Emma Balter

Blind Date

Tashin’ on in the Toon

Lewis Jones, 3rd year Physical Geography, meets Clare Atkinson, 3rd year Pharmacology

Clare on Lewis First Impressions?

He came to pick me up from mine rather than just meeting me at Spy, which I thought was really nice. I also thought he was very attractive, which was a bonus!

What did you talk about?

We talked about everything really. Turns out we have similar music and comedy tastes so talked about that for ages. We’ve both been to The Warehouse Project in Manchester and having had a horri�ically drunken experience there it led on to drunken stories. Seeing as were going to play Chin The Bin after, where “I have never” is obligatory, I �igured it was best to get some of the worst stories out of the way to start with.

Any awkward moments?

Not really, I was a bit worried it would be awkward when he met all my friends but it wasn’t at all. There was a pretty hilarious moment involving a man asking us if we were together and said it looked like we had been for a long time, but we laughed it off.

Anything in common?

Yeah, we both like the same sort of music and turns out we’re both massive fans of Peep Show, which led to a few quotes. We also love Shawshank Redemption, although it was a little bit awkward when I admitted I cried at it every time and he de�initely didn’t...

Best thing about them?

He was really easy to get along with and I was really impressed how much he talked to my friends who he didn’t know. He also had really good chat and was pretty funny.

Did you go anywhere afterwards?

After a few drinks at Spy, we went to pre drinks in the form of Chin The Bin at my friend’s house. We then headed to CCTV which was a really good night, although there were a few diesel-spilling related incidents and I may have (probably inappropriately) been rolling around on the �loor with my housemate. He bought my drinks there as well, which was really nice! Then an obligatory trip to Munchies followed of course. There was an awkward moment here actually, as I de�initely ordered my standard cheesy garlic bread and he didn’t order anything...

Would you meet again?

Yeah de�initely, we have plenty to talk about and it was really good fun.

Marks out of 10?

I’d give Lewis a 9 out of 10.

19

Victoria Mole

Lewis on Clare First Impressions?

We met at Clare’s house and my �irst impressions were that Clare had a good dress sense and a nice smile.

What did you talk about?

We had quite a lot to talk about because Clare had a lot of banter. We talked about where we grew up because I used to live near where Clare lives back home.

We found out that we have quite a few friends in common so their stories passed the time pretty well. We went to Spy bar for a drink before we went out and there was a guy from Liverpool (a little drunk) who said that we looked like we’d been together for a while so that provided a few laughs.

Any awkward moments?

To be honest there was no awkward moments really because we both had quite a lot to chat about so we didn’t really stop talking. I thought that it might have been a bit awkward when Clare and I went to her friends house to play the predrinking game of Chin the Bin especially when Clare told me that there was going to be about twenty of them, but they were all really friendly and talkative so they helped to not make it awkward.

Anything in common?

We found out that we have a few friends in common as well as our preferences to music and our fondness of alcohol. Clare also told me that she was pretty much addicted to “Peep Show” which was a plus, as well as that we’re both from the north, which meant that we both understood each other’s humour.

Best thing about them?

The best thing about Clare is that she has a lot of banter so it was good that there were no awkward moments throughout the evening. Also it was nice to see someone on a night out that is herself. It made her really easy to talk to and the conversation �lowed smoothly.

Did you go anywhere afterwards?

We ended up heading into town to a night out followed by an attractive trip to Munchies with a few of Clare’s friends who were hilarious.

Would you meet again?

I do think that I would go out for a drink with Clare again because we have a lot to talk about and had a good laugh on the date. She also likes to drink, not in an alcoholic way, so it’s not too hard to decide where we would go out.

Marks out of 10?

I’d give Clare a 9 out of 10 for the date mainly because we had such a laugh and were never bored, which is the most important thing on a date.

Relationships are built on give and take.

You give advice, clothes and legendary one-liners to your friends; all of this you can expect in return with wingman duty and permission to laugh at any mild to moderate embarrassment at their expense. However where romance or romping is concerned, give and take is usually more of a power struggle.

Something I wish I’d known long ago is that regardless of whether a boy is a ‘cheeky chappy’ or painfully shy, if they’re interested in you they’ll be giving their best effort to get your attention. When you were thirteen, both the boy that pulled your chair out from beneath you so you �lopped on your bottom, called you mind-blowingly unsexy nicknames and stabbed you with a pen until you squeaked; and the boy you always passed in the corridor, staring at you wide-eyed without saying a word that reminded you curiously of a Moomin, probably had soft spots for you. Whether he was a brat or a babe, and his feelings as obvious as Superman speedos over his school trousers or subtle as a little ‘S’ on his boxers, if he was making an effort to be around you he probably wanted to be your hero.

When feelings are unrequited it’s like giving all your money to a fountain that doesn’t grant wishes. We’re all willing to pay a painful price for something we desire but know doesn’t do us any good (as the manufacturers at Krispy Kreme have latched onto big-time). Some people, like an original glazed, can have you feeling as though you’re caught between heaven and hell; you’ll risk the heartache of no longer �itting into your favourite jeans just for another bite of sugary deliciousness.

When the only thing one half of a pair is really giving, is in to carnal cravings, unless it’s of the doughnut variety, both giver and taker can end up feeling dissatis�ied. The insult to injury if someone you want to have in your life has only really taken from you: is if they know you’re hurt and they feel guilty, they can end up resenting you for that negative emotion and don’t want to anything more. In this situation it’s easy to be left feeling like you’ve done something wrong. Many of us have given in vain and learned that nothing we’re offered to take comes for free.

A more shameful taking is that of a change of clothes (with permission) after spending the night in a bed that’s not your own, with the intention of hiding this fact from the public. The next degrading question you must ask yourself is do you return the clothes or accept them as a gift (this may be considered as accepting payment for your company). The awkwardness of the return situation, especially if it is (well, was) a stranger, would make it tempting to throw the hoodie at the bloke and run. I’ve found myself being eternally grateful that a certain pair of tracksuit bottoms in my possession is too much like long maternity trousers to exercise in, as I’ve recently discovered that the original owner is a member of my gym…

The only thing we can be sure of when it comes to the harsher side of give and take is that every day we give it our best shot to draw a line under a bad situation and give an ex another reason to be missing out, it’ll take one less day to move on.

20

THE COURIER Monday November 21 2011

fashion

fashionista etiquette being chic in all situations

Seeing as 20-40% of our body heat is lost through our head, a hat is the easiest way to keep warm during winter. Fashionista Etiquette presents a guide for choosing the perfect hat!

Will you wear it?

Sounds obvious, but we’re all guilty of loving something so much that we buy it whether it suits us or not... A few months on and it’s still sat in our wardrobe/drawers with the tags on looking pretty. If you love it, try it on; if you still love it as much on your head as you did when you �irst saw it, then it’s probably a winner.

How does it look with your winter coat?

You might be able to get away with layering jumpers and cardigans to keep you warm at the moment, but once the snow arrives, (which you can guarantee it will in Newcastle), you’ll need your coat, gloves and scarves as well as your hat, so make sure they all tie together nicely.

Consider how you usually style your hair.

If you like to wear it down, with a side or full fringe, then you’ll be able to get away with pretty much any hat. If you like to pin your fringe back or just don’t have one at all, consider a hat that can be worn so that it doesn’t cover the top of your forehead - it can look strange when you can’t see the roots of your hair. If you like to wear your hair up, maybe consider some ear muffs or a warm headband instead.

Think about your face shape.

We’re always told face shapes �it into categories; round, oval, heart-shaped, square, etc, but, in reality, whose face is actually the shape of a heart?! Your best bet is just to try a few different styles on and get a feel for what suits you best. Get an opinion from a brutally honest friend if you can’t decide yourself.

You don’t need to spend a fortune.

Chances are, the hat that you loved last year, you no longer want to wear this year, and the same thing will probably happen again next year, so don’t spend more than you need to.

The high street has some great offerings, (often with 10% student discount), so have a look in Accessorize, New Look & co before you spend a fortune.

Ask yourself, do I really need a new hat?

Do you still like last year’s hat, but just fancy something new? Before you go and spend more money on another one, try the cheaper option and look for cute vintage-style brooches or ribbons to attach to your old hat. You might just fall back in love with it again.

Don’t be afraid to look in the men’s section!

Luckily for us girls, men’s hats can be worn as unisex. If you’re after a casual beanie, then de�initely look to Topman if you can’t �ind the perfect one in Topshop. Don’t be embarrassed to try them on either; the androgynous look is big at the moment so you probably won’t be the only girl in there shopping for herself!

thecourieronline.co.uk/fashion c2.fashion@ncl.ac.uk

campusfashion fashion Lauren Keene

Idea behind your out�it? “I think a lot of the time, the best look comes from not overthinking an out�it. I put on a few items of clothing that I thought would be suited to overcome the winter bite, and it seemed to work well!”

Jacket: Zara Hat: Zara Dress: Primark Shoes: Of�ice

Idea behind your out�it? “It was cold so I wanted to be comfy and warm; I was just going to the supermarket!”

Favourite fashion statement? “I really like Vans Era shoes, they look great with any out�it and can be worn for most occasions.”

Favourite fashion statement? “I like casual clothes, hate it when people look like they’re going out clubbing during the day.”

Fashion pet hates?

“I absolutely hate clothes from Hollister, I feel like wearing them is merely a show of how much money people have to waste on average looking clothes. For me, that isn’t fashion, but each to their own!”

Fashion pet hates? “Boys who wear those low neck tshirts!”

Iain Brook Third Year Politics

Katie Robertson Photography by Zainab Haq

Student Style

The wonder of the onesie

Amy Macauley explains why a onesie is a university wardrobe necessity

Before university I doubt that anyone had ever considered a onesie as anything more than a shameful secret, whipped on in the dead of winter at the last opportunity. I was one of those naive few who even left their onesie behind with the vague idea that a) everyone might think I was weird and b) no matter how little chance I had before, the chances of bumping into a hot �latmate in the dead of night and him falling in When are you planning to wear it? love with me while wearing my onesie It’s worth considering when you’re most likely was approximately nil. to be wearing a hat. If you only plan to wear it Oh, how times have changed! Since during the day, then you’ve got it easy, but if you coming to Newcastle a whole variety of think you might want to wear it on an evening uses for the onesie have become availtoo, (think Christmas markets and late night able. Visiting a friend and forgotten to shopping), you might want to pick something bring a sleeping bag? No problem! The less casual. Consider a beret for a hat that will onesie will keep you cosy and comfortlook good whatever the occasion.

Elissa Hudson able- just add a pillow.

Think about warmth.

It’s easy to get carried away when looking at hats and just think about what they look like.

Although it’s unlikely to be at the top of your list of priorities when choosing one, warmth should still be considered. Try and �ind one that covers your ears so you don’t get earache or a headache when it gets really cold.

Scarf: H&M Shirt: Topman Jeans: Topman Shoes: Schuh

Second Year English Language and Literature

As well as the obvious use as nightwear, onesies have become so popular that there was an entire night recently devoted to them at a certain Tiger Tiger on a Wednesday. All varieties of onesie were included in this extravaganza, but particularly the original baby style in which a few rugby players were caught dressing up as infants for initiation, leaving us all wondering how they found one to �it.

As well as keeping everyone cosy in the harsh weather of the Toon in November, onesies can be used as a sneaky weapon when it isn’t a fancy dress occasion. Slip into your onesie for a night out and, as long as not everyone’s wearing one, it acts as an instant male/female repellent, leaving you to enjoy a night with your friends without being bothered.

Hopefully from these examples everyone will see the bene�its of the onesie as a useful device, rather than a piece of clothing, and we can now bring them out at all opportunities without shame!

THE COURIER Monday November 21 2011

stylingfashion

Fashion Editor: Victoria Mole Online Fashion Editor: Rosanna Sopp

Toontailored

nightclub chic

21

Sophie McGown and Annie Morgan give you the guide to dressing for �ive of Newcastle’s hottest club nights. From Monday to Friday make sure that your clubbing couture is fabulously on-trend from trebles bar to dance �loor!

Monday

Tuesday

Wednesday

Thursday

Friday

Club Tropicana Florita’s

Rub-A-Dub-Dub The Cut

Deluge Legends

Rebel Digital

Sin City Riverside

Girls in Florita’s tend to dress in short, bodycon dresses like this one pictured below (New Look) and heels (Topshop)- similar to places like Madame Koo’s or Perdu.

At dubstep and drum ‘n’ bass nights, wearing heels and an uncomfortably tight dress is not the way forward when you want to have a good old dance around!

Deluge at Legends is popular among students and notorious for being packed and full of people pushing each other - this is why we recommend wearing �lats (New Look) rather than heels.

Although it is arguably Newcastle’s best indie night, people don’t hold back from dressing up a little. Yet, as the name ‘Rebel’ suggests, you can get away with being a bit quirky and it is best to steer away from stilettos if you want to �it in!

One of Newcastle’s most popular Friday nights, Sin City allows you to dress both a little raunchier and fancier (champagne is served in VIP!). It’s the time to get out your little black dress for a glamourous night on the Toon!

The Geordies are famous for not feeling the cold and ‘Club Tropicana’ at Florita’s is a chance for you to follow suit and break into your summer wardrobe early with those �lorals and strapless dresses!

Modelled by: Lisa D’Silva Photography by: Victoria Mole

A playsuit, as pictured (Urban Out�itters), with a belt (H&M), wedge heels (New Look) and simple accessories is an ideal look. On this particular night you could get away with crazilyprinted leggings and bright colours for playful �lair!

A staple bodycon skirt (Topshop) is perfect for matching with a �loaty blouse (Topshop)to keep yourself cool and sweat patchfree. On that note- keep a hair band handy or coiff your fringe.

This black lace ruched-sleeve top and denim shorts (both H&M) are great worn with ankle boots (Urban Out�itters) for comfort and edge.

The long-sleeved bodycon pictured above (Boohoo.com) is a life-saver when waiting in the long queues at freezing temperatures! Make sure that your heels are suitable for walking on cobbles!

22

arts

Alice Fairholme explains why hype is not everything and why The Lovely Bones

by Alice Sebold is not worth the paper it is written on.

I

must start my literary assassination with a disclaimer: �iction is subjective. When I told my house mate which book I had decided to honour with The Worst Book Ever award, she looked scandalised. Then again, she likes Twilight. There are many terrible books in the world. Piers Morgan’s autobiography, Mein Kampf, for example (which, aside from peddling ideas of ethnic cleansing, is also a grammatical nightmare), not to mention the 1997 Beano Annual which left my 8-year-old self reduced to tears of disappointment.

But there is nothing quite so unsatisfactory as �inishing a book that you had huge expectations of, only to be left with a lasting resentment at the hours you will never get back. That was the feeling that gradually dawned on me as I slogged through the 325 pages of The Lovely Bones.

Having heard it hailed as a modern classic, a comment on humanity, a “real page-turner”, and all manner of other mindless gushings, I had high hopes when I took this book on holiday as my beach book. Set in 1973 Philadelphia, The Lovely Bones tells the crushing story of the rape and murder of a teenage girl, who goes on to narrate the aftermath of her death from her own personal Heaven. Yes, it sounds bleak, but as it’s on the best-seller list, I thought there was some potential for an interesting angle.

How wrong I was.

There are many real classics out there that are terribly written, bizarrely formatted and wouldn’t have got you a B at English GCSE, yet their storylines are so compelling and signi�icant that they still remain widely studied and critically revered. The Lord of the Flies springs to mind, along with The Da Vinci Code (debatable, yes I know). The Lovely Bones is the antithesis of these books. The linguistic style and descriptive narrative have moments of eloquence, but the story itself is limp. Dolled up under the pretence of dark controversy, the concept is actually rather childish, with the most simplistic ideas trying and failing to present apt metaphors.

Reeking with mushy sentiment and loaded with gimmicky, unexplainable subplots, the book becomes lost in the middle, and by the end all reason and intellect has well and truly left the building. This is a world where �ingerprints last for years on end, dead girls repossess living girls to have raunchy encounters, and there is not an ounce of mystery or intrigue. Don’t let the sales �igures dupe you into liking this distinctly unintelligent book.

thecourieronline.co.uk/arts c2.arts@ncl.ac.uk

Virtual versus visual

Can audiobooks can ever live up to the prestige of a paperback?

A

udiobooks were �irst developed in the 1930s and over the following years have rapidly become a phenomenon, popular with children and adults alike. Introduced for use by blind adults and then used to help teach children to read and enhance reading comprehension, they now present the trusty paperback with strong competition.

But why should we listen to our favourite book rather than read it? An audiobook is easily transportable so there’s no need to lug around a heavy book or fold the page scrappily to keep your place. Audiobooks normally have the same release date as the book, meaning there’s no need to wait around, and if you are not a keen reader, you can �ind out why a bestseller is a bestseller with minimal effort.

They are an enjoyable way to relax, whether used to pass time on a long journey or just background entertainment at the gym. Many of my friends have admitted to listening to Harry Potter; entire families can quote the lines with the same expressions as Stephen Fry. Listening to a text you’re studying can also help you understand it, and they’re also very useful if you haven’t actually read the book you are studying!

Audiobooks are becoming increasingly popular, encouraging young people to enjoy books more and allowing uncon�ident readers to interact with and appreciate literature. Overall, they add to the experience of the world within the words.

Amy Bolton

T

here is truly nothing in the world that beats curling up with a good read. I know, I know, typical English Lit undergrad opinion and all that, but the pleasure of sitting down with a novel is, personally, second to none. The question of audiobooks does not even come into it. Dog-eared hardbacked copies, well-thumbed pages and the impression of looking really intelligent are amongst the reasons why books cannot be beaten.

Actively reading a book de-

Illustration: Emma Rawsthorne

The worst book that I have ever read...

THE COURIER Monday November 21 2011

mands something of its reader. It is not just passive listening; it is a full commitment to the story. Who genuinely sits down to solely listen to audiobooks?

They make up background noise, stopping the listener from fully appreciating what they’re hearing, and, apart from anything else the famous name reciting the novel dictates to the individual how the book should be read. That for me is the joy of reading; making your own decisions, creating the narration in your head and interpreting it exactly as you choose. I can understand that many people don’t have the time to read entire novels, and audiobooks are easier than struggling through chapter by chapter. But the sense of achievement one gets on �inishing a book is what gives reading the edge. The novelist George Robert Gissing said, “I know every book of mine by its smell, and I have but to put my nose between the pages to be reminded of all sorts of things,” and it is the memories which a book holds that make it unique. I’d much rather a full bookcase teeming with irreplaceable novels in my room, than a rattling box of indistinguishable CDs. The true delight of reading is in a book’s distinctive message to each individual, and it is this sensation that never has nor ever will be captured in a recording studio.

Charlie Burt

I have never... read Harry Potter

Arts Editor Sally Priddle finds out whether the world of witchcraft and wizardry really is the way forward

T

he Harry Potter debate is one that is ridiculously (some would say obsessively) close to peo-

ple’s hearts. When I say that I’ve never read a Harry Potter book, it puts some of my closest friendships to the test. However, I’m afraid that until this weekend it was true. I can debate with the best of them how Rupert Grint is one the best gingers around, or how the casting directors must be kicking themselves for picking someone as wet as Bonnie Wright to play a central character like Ginny Weasley.

But when it came to the books they just passed me by, possibly because I’ve always been a sceptic of books that are said to ‘de�ine a generation’ and ‘appeal to all audiences’. I’m known as being particularly stubborn whenever anyone sells anything to me in this way; I automatically assume that it’s not going to be for me. However, I was pleasantly surprised when I began the book. For those who haven’t experienced J.K. Rowling’s work, don’t be fooled by the hype - she de�initely is a children’s author, but who’s to say that an adult indulging in children’s literature is a bad thing?

After the mere two hours it took me to �inish Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Photograph: Stone (which I made the executive deciBen Parkin sion to read despite being told by all my friends which one they personally felt was the best book) I was addicted to the world of Harry Potter.

I did �ind myself willing Harry to catch the Snitch and I think it is not an exaggeration to say I now have an inappropriate crush on both Hagrid and Dumbledore,

which is probably more of a comment on myself rather than the books.

I know some will argue that I am just conforming to the masses, and, don’t get me wrong, I have read better books and I won’t be signing up to Pottermore any time soon. However, I’ll de�initely be picking up the others to thumb through in my spare time. I was happily entertained

by J.K. Rowling’s �irst novel, and actually found myself enjoying the book a lot more than the �ilm, probably due to the fact that when watching the �ilms I felt I was missing something (unsurprisingly for

For those still waiting for their Hogwarts acceptance letters: 1. Don’t let the hype put you off; there actually is a story worth reading in there.

2. No previous knowledge is necessary (of magic, wizardry or the �ilms) 3. Deciding what house you would be in is not shameful, but in fact part of the Harry Potterexperience

arts

THE COURIER Monday November 21 2011

Arts Editor: Sally Priddle Online Arts Editor: Lisa Bernhardt

previews

reviews

Black Comedy

Reservoir Gags

Sweeney Todd

St. Luke’s Church Claremont Road December 1-3

The Venue Newcastle University Students’ Union November 28

The Venue Newcastle University Students’ Union November 21-22

This one act play offers something different to previous NUTS productions as the conditions of light and dark are reversed.

Brindsley and Carol, an engaged couple, have invited a millionaire to their �lat to buy a sculpture.

In a bid to impress him the couple have ‘borrowed’ antiques and furniture from their neighbour, Harold. Carol’s father is also visiting to meet his future son-in-law.

Just before the guests arrive, a fuse is blown and the lights go out (but of course the stage is illuminated - the audience will not miss out on the action).

The entire dinner party is conducted in the dark and a number of unexpected visitors, Harold’s return and several mistaken identities utterly ruin the evening, leading to a hilarious chaotic crescendo which will appeal to everyone, even those who are not usually fans of the theatre.

“We’re having great fun creating it and putting it all together, even if the slapstick is physically draining!” say Anto Fray and William Sebag-Monte�iore, the team bringing Peter Shaffer’s ‘Black Comedy’ to Newcastle University.

Tickets are £6 and will be available outside the Robinson Library, or you can contact Kate Beckwith for requests on 07771730076.

Mary Taylor

Instead of worrying about assignments, Christmas presents and the never-ending debate about where your student loan has disappeared to, let yourself be entertained this festive season by the sell-out and award-winning Newcastle Comedy Society. After the success of their last production ‘Bohemian Laughsody’, they are back with their second show of the year, ‘Reservoir Gags’. The show will feature a selection of the club’s �inest handpicked stand ups and their intensively-trainedRocky-esque-comedy-montage improv group!

Promising to impress, amuse and wow the audience with their comedic timing and improvising abilities, this a show that shouldn’t be missed. Being performed in the new Students’ Union Venue, this one-off performance is an unmissable opportunity to test whether the Comedy Society should be laughed at or with.

The night will consist of half stand-up and half improvisation, with well-known games from the popular TV show ‘Whose Line Is It Anyway?’ challenging the Comedy Society, and the team have also come up with some of their own games. It’ll be a fun night of impulsive, suggestive and quality impromptu comedy, and for only £3 what’s stopping you?

Sally Priddle

Culture Shock

All I Want For Christmas

W

e all know the drill at Christmas – masses of presents piled high in your stocking – from the new COD game to that overpriced Topshop dress, not forgetting copious amounts of chocolate and alcohol. But what is it that drives us to crave these things at Christmas?

Join the Life Centre on December 1 for ‘All I Want for Xmas?’ – a special event that will explore the science of desire as part of the centre’s ‘Afterlife’ series.

Find out what really goes on when we write our Christmas lists - are we victims of consumerist brainwashing or do we really enjoy celebrating the seasonal cheer with hard-earned money (or alternatively, not-so-hard-earned student loans)?

Consumer psychologist Dr Joan Harvey will be on hand to question whether we really want to spend our precious pennies over the Christmas season; have we been subconsciously conditioned to buy into a holiday that we’d rather bury in the snow? All will be revealed.

If that doesn’t take your fancy, indulge your sweet tooth as Hotel Chocolat will be standing by with your favourite treat of the season and a side order of insight as to why we’re obsessed with the

23

Although Halloween was a few weeks ago, be prepared for more blood, gore and terror within the horrifying world of Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street, in the new NUTS production.

Fresh from a successful run at the Edinburgh Fringe, the �irst play of the season will take the well-known story and classic songs of Stephen Sondheim to create a unique experience for the audience.

Sweeney Todd’s mind is dominated by revenge as he returns to London to avenge the loss of his family, while in the process of killing his customers to use as the �illing for his friend Mrs Lovett’s pies.

Creating ‘The Worst Pies in London’, the pair work together to see that those who have scorned Sweeney Todd are punished for their actions. The play will take you on an adventure through the corrupt and haunting streets of Victorian London.

Many larger-than-life characters make appearances on the way, such as the depraved Judge Turpin and the scrupulous fraudster Adolfo Pirelli who may or may not be of Italian descent!

Taking the recently-made Johnny Depp �ilm to the next level, this is literally a ‘cut-throat’ musical, which surely cannot be missed.

Catherine Langley

Mastering some of the most dif�icult operatic pieces in English history

Ruddigore Theatre Royal November 8

To describe Gilbert and Sullivan’s Ruddigore as splendidly jolly is a gross understatement, but seemingly appropriate to those familiar with the opera duo.

Opera North’s director Jo Davies revives the comic melodrama, which tells the tale of a curse that forces the infamous Baronet of Ruddigore to commit a crime a day - or face an excruciating death. Yet, when Sir Ruthven �lees and relinquishes his power to his unwilling (and unknowing) brother Sir Despard, hilarious twists and turns lead the way.

Grant Doyle and Richard Burkhard’s mischievously-moustached performance of the Baronet brothers was charming and witty, inspiring the greatest echoes of laughter from the audience, while Amy Freston’s performance of sweet Rose Maybud and her trusted book of etiquette was �lawlessly aligned with her sweet character.

The entire cast sang with lightning speed, mastering some of the most dif�icult operatic pieces in English history, yet no act matched Heather Shipp’s ‘Mad Margaret’ who, driven to despair by love, delivered the most hysterical performance ever to have crossed the Opera North stage, with roars of laughter and raptures of applause enveloping the performance from start to �inish.

Grace Harvey

artintheeveryday

delicacy.

Find out what goes into those scrumptious scents and perfumes and even get the chance to make your own bath bomb or create your own personalised scent with LUSH’s resident Fragrance Specialists.

Treat yourself to a Christmas-themed cocktail courtesy of mixologist Noel Jackson, and climate researcher Stephen Blenkinsop will tell us whether we’ll be enjoying many a white Christmas in years to come.

The planetarium will also be open for those who want to explore the sinister side of desire.

Head down to the Life Centre this December and enjoy a Christmas-themed extravaganza. Just be sure to book online.

The event will take place at the Life Centre on December 1, 7-10pm. £4 per person (booking is necessary to guarantee a place) This event is for ages 18+ Fran Allenby

...face paint

24

listings21st-27thNov Monday

Newcastle Winter Book Festival November 21-27 History Room, Students’ Union

Newcastle Winter Book Festival is two weeks’ worth of poetry, �iction, biography and many more surprises. www.newcastlewinterbookfestival.co.uk

Why is the universe bio-friendly?

Robinson Prize Lecture in Cosmology 5.30-6.30pm Curtis Auditorium, Herschel Building

The Robinson Prize Lecture in Cosmology was established following a generous donation from Mr Philip Robinson. The �irst of these lectures, which are held biennially, took place in 1991 and was delivered by Lord Rees of Ludlow. Recent speakers have included Andrei Linde (2004) and John Mather (2008). 2011 marks the twentieth anniversary of the establishment of the Robinson Prize Lecture. This year’s speaker, British-born theoretical physicist, cosmologist, astrobiologist and best-selling author Professor Paul Davies, talks about why our own universe is so bio-friendly that it looks like an intentional design. www.ncl.ac.uk/events

Tuesday Dine with Accenture 6-10pm SIX Restaurant, The Baltic

You can learn a lot about Accenture through our website, on our Facebook fan page and Twitter, but nothing beats getting information �irst hand, from people who are already doing it. We are hosting an exclusive dinner where you can meet recent grads, managers and recruiters to ask what it takes to succeed in a global management consulting, technology services and outsourcing company.

First and second years ONLY can apply for a place visit by emailing a CV to alison.morgan@ accenture.com by November 15 2011.

2010’s worst-kept secret arrive at the O2 Academy following their tour with the Arctic Monkeys. www.o2academynewcastle.co.uk

Christmas and Continental Market November 21 - December 11 Monument, Newcastle City Centre

The Christmas Market is back! Indulge in noodles, curry, paella, pies, sweets, chocolates, cheese and all sorts of cuisines, drink homemade wine, mulled wine, local beers and plenty of tea and coffee, and bag a load of Christmas goodies, from hand-carved ornaments and knitted garments to jewellery and homeware.

There’s something for everyone at Newcastle’s Continental Market this Christmas.

Find out more at www.get-into-newcastle.co.uk

Pilates Society quiz night and bar crawl 6.30pm History Room, Newcastle University Students’ Union

The Pilates Society is holding its �irst social tonight in the History Room. Loads of exciting prizes are up for grabs, and it will be followed by a messy bar crawl. Quiz tickets are £1 for members and £2 for non-members on the door or text 07944764814. Bar crawl wristbands are £1 for all.

Marine Science & Technology Careers Fair 10am-3pm King’s Hall, Armstrong Building

Organised by the School of Marine Science & Technology to help students to �ind out more about a career in marine science and technology. www.ncl.ac.uk/careers

Give it a Go: Massage Training Course

thecourieronline.co.uk/listings c2.editor@ncl.ac.uk

Thursday

Bryan Adams Waking Up The Neighbours 20th Anniversary Tour 7.30pm Metro Radio Arena

Bryan Adams is hitting the stage again - this time to celebrate the 20th Anniversary of his 3x platinum-selling album Waking Up The Neighbours from 1991, the one which spawned the record-breaking number one single ‘Everything I do (I Do it for You)’. Tickets are still available from the Metro Radio Arena. www.metroradioarena.co.uk

5-7pm Newcastle City Hall

Sign up for this three week course to learn some fantastic stress-relieving techniques from a massage expert. Just £9 for the full three week course. www.nusu.co.uk/giag

Run From Robots 6pm Riverside

Catch Run From Robots at the legendary Riverside music venue on the Quayside. Tickets are available from www.hmvtickets.com from £5.

The Vaccines 7pm O2 Academy Newcastle

Wednesday

THE COURIER Monday November 21 2011

Go Play: Netball

6-7pm Northumbria University Sports Centre

AU Sports Clubs not for you? Never been sporty, but want to try something new at university? Or just want to have a go at something without commiting to it for the whole year?

This project is just for you. Try a taster session of something you fancy, and if you like it, carry on with a six week beginner course, giving you the skills to know what you’re doing! Want to get involved? Come to the Activities Centre in the brand new Students’ Union building and book your place (�irst come, �irst served).

Durham Law Fair

12-3.30pm Durham University Students’ Union, Dunelm House, Durham

The Durham Law Fair, sponsored by Macfarlanes LLP, takes place in November of each year, usually in the Fonteyn Ballroom and the Vane Tempest Hall of Dunelm House. It is an excellent opportunity to speak with a range of legal employers and course providers. If you want to know more about vacation schemes, training contracts, the LPC or the GDL, and career options within the legal profession, then this is undoubtedly the event for you! Although the event is aimed primarily at penultimate year law and �inal year non-law students, anyone with an interest in a career in law is very welcome to attend!

John Barrowman 8pm Newcastle City Hall

Best known for playing Captain Jack Harkness in the BBC series Torchwood and Doctor Who and judging on the award-winning BBC1 entertainment shows How Do You Solve A Problem Like Maria?, Any Dream Will Do and I’d Do Anything, Barrowman graces us with his prescence tonight with a selection of songs from his albums and his most recent release, The Very Best of John Barrowman. www.newcastlecityhall.org

Omid Djalili’s Tour of Duty 8pm Journal Tyne Theatre

Multi-award-winning stand-up, television and movie star Omid Djalili is back on tour with his brand new comedy show. A favourite at the Edinburgh Fringe, be prepared to laugh out loud. www.journaltynetheatre.co.uk

Get Your Kit Off

6pm Mens Bar, Newcastle University Students’ Union The traditional post-match entertainment is back at the Union and kicks off as soon as the �irst Wednesday �ixture ends. Get your kit off after the match, dump it in the SU cloakroom, then hit the bar with all the other AU teams in preparation for ‘Road’ at Tiger Tiger.

Food is also available from the Mens Bar menu, as well as the Subway round the corner, so you’ve got the best of both worlds!

The Game

7.30pm O2 Academy Newcastle

Catch the American G-Unit rapper, The Game in Newcastle this week at the O2 Academy. His latest album, R.E.D., hit No. 1 back in August - grab a ticket to see what all the fuss is about. www.o2academynewcastle.co.uk

Photo: Marco Maas

Go Play: Handball 6-8pm Northumbria Uni Sports Centre

AU Sports Clubs not for you? Never been sporty, but want to try something new at university? Or just want to have a go at something without commiting to it for the whole year?

This project is just for you. Try a taster session of something you fancy, and if you like it, carry on with a six week beginner course, giving you the skills to know what you’re doing! Want to get involved? Come to the Activities Centre in the brand new Students’ Union building and book your place (�irst come, �irst served)

The Smiths Indeed 7pm O2 Academy Newcastle

The four piece from Liverpool celebrate 25 years since The Queen Is Dead, playing the album as well as a selection of The Smiths’ hits.

For details and how to book, visit www.o2academynewcastle.co.uk.

Time Gentlemen Please!

7.30pm Journal Tyne Theatre

Winners of Best Live Act at the BBC Radio 2 Folk Awards 2009, The Demon Barbers bring together some of the best young talent from around the country in an energetic dance show that showcases traditional English dance including rapper, long sword, molly, clogging and morris. Tickets are available at £16 (£14 concessions) from The Journal Tyne Theatre Box Of�ice or online at www.thejournaltynetheatre.co.uk.

THE COURIER Monday November 21 2011

14th-20thNovlistings

C2 Editor: Aimee Philipson

Friday

BioSci UV Charity Rave

8pm, £2 Newcastle University Students’ Union

Meet at the Union at 8pm. Start the night at Sam Jacks then on to Sinners, Idols and finally Venue which will be free entry with a wristband purchased from the common room between 12-1pm from November 16. All proceeds go to COCO.

Gateshead Christmas Lights Switch-On 5pm Gateshead town centre

Join in the festive fun at the Christmas Lights Switch-On in Gateshead.

The Grinning Idiot Comedy Club 8pm Live Theatre, Quayside, Newcastle

Indulge in some laughter therapy after handing in your mid-semester assignments tonight with the Grinning Idiot Comedy Club at the Live Theatre. www.live.org.uk

25

Something for the weekend Rihanna

Sunday Metro Radio Arena

The queen of all things booty-licious and poptastic arrives in the Toon this weekend.

You’ll be hard-pressed to grab tickets now but you might be lucky on eBay or viagogo.co.uk. If not, keep your eyes peeled for her in town starting her Christmas shopping!

Universally Challenged: Mens Bar Pub Quiz

Sunday Mens Bar, Newcastle University Students’ Union

Come down to Mens Bar every Sunday night for the Universally Challenged Pub Quiz! Not only will there be a cash prize that could roll over each week, but we also have lots of drinks vouchers and Subway vouchers as prizes to give away! So don’t miss out on your chance to win some money, drinks and Subways. After all, it’s what Sundays are made for - the Universally Challenged Pub Quiz!

Sing Live Presents Magical Musicals Sunday 7.30pm Newcastle City Hall

Enjoy a wonderful evening of music from some of the best musicals in history including Mary Poppins, The Sound of Music, South Pacific, Moulin Rouge, The Boy from Oz,The Witches of Eastwick, The Wizard of Oz and Blood Brothers. www.newcastlecityhall.org

Hanson

Saturday 7pm O2 Academy Newcastle

Every winter, Life hosts the region’s favourite ice rink on Times Square, right outside the Science Centre. You can enjoy a skate with family and friends seven days a week. For admission prices, opening times and terms and conditions, visit www.life. org.uk/whats-on/skating-at-life

Christmas Treats at Blackfriars

St Oswald’s Christmas Market

Join Blackfriars Restaurant for a day of festive fun as they show you and your children just how easy it is to make gingerbread men, mince pies and other delicious edible goodies to hang on your Christmas tree. www.blackfriarsrestaurant.co.uk

Celebrate the pre-Christmas period and beat the queues at the till on the high street by doing your Christmas shopping at St Oswald’s Hospice Christmas Market. Not only can you find some great handmade gifts, meet Santa Claus and pet Noah the Donkey, but you can feel great about yourself because all the proceeds go to helping the Hospice in its vital care work in the North East. Entry is £2 for adults, £1 for kids and under 12s go free.

Saturday 11am- 3pm Blackfriars Restaurant, Newcastle

Saturday 11am-3pm St Oswald’s Hospice, Gosforth

26

THE COURIER Monday November 21 2011

musicreviews

5 reasons why...

... Prince would run rings round Michael Jackson even if the latter weren’t a corpse 1) Prince has a higher concentration of aceness per cm² At 157 centimetres (or 5 foot 2 inches, if that’s how you choose to live your life), Prince is a renowned short-arse, whereas Jackson was a comparatively colossal 5 foot 11. With 22 songs rated ‘Very Good Indeed’ by the 5 Reasons Why Music Database, Jackson manages a creditable score of 7.5 tunes/cm². However, Prince’s 20 ‘Very Good Indeed’ songs scores him 7.85 tunes/cm². This is mathematical fact. Some say the 5 Reasons Why Music Database makes no sense at all, but to those people I say, “WELL IF YOU’RE SO CLEVER THEN MAKE YOUR OWN BLOODY DATABASE RANKING SYSTEM,” while �licking V-signs and blowing raspberries at them.

2) Prince out-absurds Jackson without breaking sweat Jackson may have thought he was the king of odd, but Prince defeated him at every turn. In London in 1998, he dressed as an old man so he could go to the pub unharassed, wandered around Hyde Park for a bit then got taken to McDonald’s by some fans. It was also claimed that Prince tried to establish mind control over Jackson’s monkey Bubbles in order to make the chimp attack him. Even Jackson at his most crackers – aptly illustrated by the �lotation of a ten-metretall statue of himself down the Thames – is bested by Prince changing his name to an unpronounceable symbol. Jackson always seemed to be trying so hard to be otherworldly; Prince trounced him without trying.

3) Jackson might as well have died in 1991 Bad stands as Jackson’s last decent album. From then on, it was a litany of ever more disappointing efforts and falsestarts, his career sputtering to a turgid close with the posthumous Michael, which featured Akon and Lenny Kravitz. I need say no more.

Prince has managed at least two good albums since then. There was also one which was really quite bad, but since it was given away free with the Daily Mail it was at least in�licted on people who deserved it.

4) Prince’s ef�igy is not propped awkwardly outside Craven Cottage When your artistic legacy is reduced to a mannequin outside Fulham FC, as Jackson’s has, you have surely done something terribly wrong. Everyone knows Fulham fans are massive nerds.

Their team play at a cottage, for crying out loud. I’m amazed the club shop hasn’t been turned into a National Trust tearoom. The statue’s not even historically accurate: the clothes are early-’80s, the hair early-’90s and the nose mid-’00s.

It looks like a cheap action �igurine blown up to grotesque size. Understandably, many Fulham fans are peeved; earlier this season the statue was subject to a frenzied attack led by an enraged fan armed with bottles of mustard from a nearby hot dog stand.

5) The thought of playing the O₂ didn’t kill Prince He powered through his 21 consecutive nights there in 2007. While a trial might have found Dr Conrad Murray guilty of Jackson’s manslaughter, the court of 5 Reasons Why convicts Jackson of being a lazy sod and dying on purpose to get out of his 50 dates.

Thomas Nicholson

thecourieronline.co.uk/music c2.music@ncl.ac.uk

Hello Sadness

C

ardiff-based indie-poppers Los Campesinos! have frequently turned to the subject of heartbreak for inspiration, following a grand tradition which goes back to when prehistoric man �irst banged rocks together, grew a fringe and bought a Smiths t-shirt.

However, the band have typically tackled the subject via feelings of rage, confusion, or frustration, aptly demonstrated by the lyric: “We need more post-coital and less post-rock/The build-up takes forever but you never touch my cock” from 2009’s ‘Straight In At 101’. Their third album �inds front man Gareth Campesinos! in a rather more downbeat mood, hence the title. Indeed, with his band’s more widescreen, expansive sound he comes off a little like a South Wales version of Bruce Springsteen who always has to leave on his own when the lights come up at the end of the disco. An extended snooker metaphor (“It’s like I’m snookered ‘tween the back cushion and touching the 8 ball ... You peel your white gloves off seduc-

Camp

Childish Gambino

While largely excellent, sections of the title track sound eerily like ‘Just For Tonight’ by Topman mannequins One Night Only

tively before you respot / Your �ingertips leave marks and graze / I lay you down atop the baize”) in opener ‘By Your Hand’ is sadly not a high-point, conjuring as it does mental images of a randy John Virgo from Big Break.

The sound of the record is, for the most part, sweetly elegiac, but this is counterbalanced by LC!’s characteristic barked vocals; the best example is the aforementioned ‘By Your Hand’. In other places though, the band sweep into more blustery territory. It works well on the sparse ‘To Tundra’ but, in grasping for grandeur, it tips at points into very dodgy areas indeed. While largely excellent, sections of the title track sound eerily like ‘Just For Tonight’ by Topman mannequins One Night Only. Similarly, ‘Life Is A Long Time’ is a bit boring. Overall though, Hello Sadness is a solid, if unspectacular, continuation of the spiky melodiousness which has brought Los Campesinos! this far. One can only hope that their next venture does not involve Dennis Taylor covering ‘Do Ya Think I’m Sexy?’.

Weights and Measures Dry the River

Donald Glover may well be the hardest working man in America. Writing for 30 Rock, starring in hit NBC comedy Community, as well as putting out his major label debut all while juggling a stand up tour must take it out of a man. But this doesn’t mean Camp isn’t up to the calibre of work he normally produces.

Childish Gambino isn’t a gimmick, as a comedian-turned-rapper may seem. Yes, his rhymes occasionally poke fun at the rap industry, but they’re also witty, furious and, at times, deeply personal. There are lines here that would out-funny Will Smith or Das Racist but, unfortunately, most of these are too rude to print.

On the other hand, Camp is a lot more mature than his previous work. Opening track ‘Outside’ focuses on Glover’s escape from a run-down area and how this made him feel separated from his family.

Other tracks focus on being a nerdy, black Jehovah’s Witness who has a penchant for Su�jan Stevens. There are still songs about sleeping with girls and getting drunk, but these are easily the weaker tracks when put amongst heavy hitters such as ‘That Power’, which ends the album with a powerful spoken word piece.

Even though Camp is more personal, it still hasn’t lost that Gambino �lavour that made his previous work so unique, �iery and funny.

The folk rock genre is rapidly expanding, bringing a new dimension back to popular music. With Dry the River we have a band on the brink of emulating the success of Mumford & Sons and Fleet Foxes.

Weights and Measures, their new four track EP, showcases their versatility within the folk rock genre. The two fullband tracks start with a typically acoustic, well-harmonised intro, Peter’s lead vocals reminiscent of Antony and the Johnsons.

Both develop into an almost Americanadriven �lood of emotion, though never lose that folk song feel.

The other half of the EP shows off the band’s raw talent; the stripped down acoustic version of their song ‘Bible Belt’ reveals a graceful mastery of their folk roots. The cover of John T. Pearson’s ‘Thou Art Loosed’ is accomplished, but unfortunately fails to capture the haunting sadness of the original.

There is an onus on new folk bands, unlike manufactured pop, to write songs that connect, tell a story and live up to the genre’s rich heritage. Dry the River are certainly doing this and helping the genre evolve into the 21st century.

Having recently toured with Bombay Bicycle Club, and with their �irst full-length album Sessions available early in 2012, they are a band at a turning point in their career and de�initely one to watch.

Chris Taylor

Alex Brophy

Recommended download: ‘That Power’

Recommended download: ‘Family Tree’

There are precisely 21 seconds worth listening to on this album, courtesy of reliably psychotic wordshredder Busta Rhymes.

Los Campesinos!

Recommended download: ‘By Your Hand’ Tom Nicholson

Sticks + Stones Cher Lloyd

As obvious as it may seem, I feel the need to make it clear that yes, ‘Swagger Jagger’ is exactly as horrendous as it was three months ago. Yes, the lyrics still read like the adorable ramblings of an elderly spinster trying to get down with a generation of kids who haven’t been born yet. Yes, it still tries to bludgeon us with a chorus that sounded better coming out of Huckleberry Hound. Now, let’s move on.

Cher Lloyd’s mistakes are numerous and epic, but she rarely makes the same mistake twice. The remarkable thing about Sticks + Stones is that, while every song is about as horrible as can be expected, they each achieve this in new and innovative ways. ‘Dub On The Track’, for example, is horrible because of its cackhanded mishandling of dubstep tropes.

‘Want U Back’ is horrible because Cher baf�lingly decides to ruin the best tune on the album by constantly grunting over it as if she were banging her head against a wall made of constipation. ‘Beautiful People’ is horrible because it is a ballad.

There are precisely 21 seconds worth listening to on this album, courtesy of reliably psychotic word-shredder Busta Rhymes, who chimes in on opener ‘Grow Up’ to spout his usual mentalist gibberish, to (comparatively) spectacular effect. Download those 21 seconds and download them illegally.

Recommended download: ‘Grow Up’ Sam Summers

THE COURIER Monday November 21 2011

featuresmusic

Music Editors: Ben Travis and Chris Scott Online Music Editor: Graham Matthews

Top 5 protest songs from the ‘60s With the recent Occupy Wall Street demonstrations, and student protests over the education cutbacks, the music section brings you some of the most in�luential and motivational protest songs from the last era of youth rebellion; the sixties.

1) ‘It’s All Over Now Baby Blue’ - Bob Dylan.

An all-time sixties classic, ‘It’s All Over Now Baby Blue’s hidden meaning has been disputed for decades. But behind the ambiguous lyrics can be heard a powerful social critique of war and the authorities that send the lower class to it.

Also check out Joan Baez’s rendition.

2) ‘Where Have All The Flowers Gone?’

- Peter, Paul and Mary.

Peter Paul and Mary’s very moving ballad was written in a circular form: �lowers are being picked by young girls, their husbands go to war and end up in graveyards where their wives pick the �lowers.

A chilling portrayal of war and its losses.

3) ‘The Fish Cheer’ - Country Joe & The Fish.

Also referred to as the ‘Vietnam Song’, ‘The Fish Cheer’ has a very different tone to most protest songs. This seemingly jolly war cheer deeply mocks the Vietnam cause with weighty satirical lyrics such as: “be the �irst one on your block to have your boy come home in a box”.

4) ‘Fortunate Son’ - Creedence Clearwater Revival.

This song can be heard in Forrest Gump

when Forrest and Bubba �ly in a US Army helicopter to the combat zone in Vietnam. Another battle against class can be found with the lyrics “Some folks are born silver spoon in hand, Lord, don’t they help themselves”, and later, “Some folks inherit star spangled eyes, Oh, they send you down to war, Lord”.

5) ‘The Unknown Soldier’ - The Doors.

The main appeal of this song is when the music stops: marching can be heard, a drum roll, ri�les being loaded followed by a loud bang. However this is better seen live as the band dramatically re-enacts the scene. The song ends with Jim Morrison poignantly wailing into the microphone: “It’s all over, the war is over”...

Emma Balter

Made-up Guillemots headline #43

G

uillemots’ career has been as complicated and turbulent as their instrumentally-intense indie sound. Since being nominated for the 2006 Mercury Music Prize, the band have toured extensively, with several solo shows from frontman Fyfe Danger�ield along the way, whilst still managing to produce three musically experimental albums. Phil Frankland catches up with vocalist Fyfe Danger�ield and bassist Aristazabal Hawkes.

“We’ve been here quite a lot over the long years,” remarks Danger�ield as I settle into the mood of the interview in the calm of Riverside’s backstage area. “Last year I played that cylindrical room in The Sage.” Having played several times in the North East, Danger�ield jokes that he knew it “well enough to know that [The Sage is] actually Gateshead, I shouldn’t have referred to that as Newcastle!”.

For Guillemots, the summer of 2011 has been one of bus journeys and plane tickets. The band jumped to South America following their appearance on the Oxlyers in West Stage at Glastonbury Festival, then back again for a further UK tour.

“It’s a different experience every time,” claims Danger�ield, when questioned about how playing such a prestigious festival compared to their more intimate shows. As he claims that the band are “focused on recording new stuff at the moment”, it seems much of the writing is done on tour.

“I like the idea of writing on tour, but actually when you’ve got time off you just

SceNE: The Lake Poets

Delving into the explosive North East music scene every week to bring you your new favourite local band.

Who are The Lake Poets?

It began in April 2010 as a solo project for myself, Martin Longstaff. Now it’s evolved to feature anywhere from three to seven of my good friends.

How do you all know each other?

Most of us are also in other bands, so we mostly met by playing around the NorthEast. Then there’s my best friend from school, Ellwood, and my brother, Liam.

want to �lump on the bed.”

The constant writing and touring schedule of the band appears to be taking its toll on the members.

“The travelling can wear you out, but then you get this wonderful high every night from playing; it’s a funny existence.”

So how exactly do Guillemots kill time and chill out on tour when they’re not writing? Hawkes immediately calls out: “Backgammon!” ”Arista is a backgammon champion!” laughs Danger�ield.

“Our DVD player’s broken,” recalls Hawkes.

“We’ve got the whole Planet Earth box set which we were very excited to watch but JLS broke the screen! JLS are responsible for our lack of entertainment!”

And after the shows?

“I like to go and eat,” remarks Danger�ield, with beer and curry being the post-show indulgence of choice. I think this is a

What have you done with the band so far?

I’ve done a ten-date tour that included playing some O2 Academies. I’ve also played Glastonbury, Kendal Calling, Evolution and Split Festival. Winning ‘North East Unsigned’ was also something I’ll never forget.

Summarise the band in �ive words Haunting and honest acoustic music.

Who are your musical heroes?

My one musical hero is Bruce Springsteen; he’s an astonishing songwriter, performer and musician.

combination we can all agree on. “I used to drink a lot before I went on but I don’t anymore!”

With three albums now under their belt, I’m keen, as a big Guillemots fan, to know which song from their great back catalogue is their favourite to play to a live audience, biting my lip in anticipation.

“I always enjoy playing ‘Vermillion’,” Danger�ield claims. “There’s one called ‘Go Away’, an old B-side which is really fun and different every time. It loosens us up!”

A band honest and modest in conversation, but progressive and electrifying on stage, Guillemots continue to wow audiences as they tour intimate venues across the UK.

What was the �irst album you ever bought?

The Score by The Fugees. I still think Lauren Hill’s brilliant; she had a meaningful socio-political message.

What’s your favourite venue in Newcastle?

Cluny2, The Bridge Hotel, The Sage (Hall Two) and the Tyneside Cinema are all great venues.

Who’s your favourite band on the Newcastle scene?

I really respect and admire Nev Clay; his music’s a perfect mix of wit, insight, poignancy and beauty.

What’s next for the band?

Our debut single will be out in spring 2012; we’ll then look at playing the festival circuit and perhaps a small UK/European tour.

Where and when can we see you next in Newcastle?

Head of Steam opposite Central Station on December 3.

For tonnes of web-exclusive columns and live reviews, check out The Courier music section online.

Tune into NSR on Thursday, 2-4 to hear the music editors and writers chatting about this week’s articles.

27

On the record Classic albums Fresh perspective

Until last week, I had never listened to

Paul Simon’s Graceland.

It would be almost impossible to pass through life with no awareness of at least some of Paul Simon’s output, particularly with Art Garfunkel: ‘Mrs. Robinson’, ‘Sound of Silence’, ‘Bridge over Troubled Water’… I could go on. Yet I have somehow managed to remain entirely ignorant of Graceland, its existence only registering through the vague awareness that Paul Simon had a solo album that my dad quite liked.

The album’s opening blast of accordions on ‘The Boy in the Bubble’ leads into something surprising; given my previous experiences with Simon’s work, I was expecting something of a more folky affair, but here is a swirling mass of almost Dylan-like lyrics �itted seamlessly into a drum beat that wouldn’t sound out of place on a Springsteen album.

The African sounds which dominate so much of the album on songs such as ‘Homeless’ and the acapella intro to ‘Diamonds on the Soles of her Shoes’ also proved novel, although I imagine the effect would have been greater if I were listening in 1986. Here in 2011 they were not necessarily entirely new, just unexpected, and excellently �itted into the album, when it would have been easy to use them purely for novelty value.

The album’s main strength, however, is its subtle catchiness; after just one listen I found myself occasionally humming little segments of ‘Graceland’ or the chorus of ‘I Know What I Know’, but never to the extent I wanted to erase parts of my brain in order to be rid of it - just that I wanted to go back and give it another listen. And the album was instantly recognisable on a second listen, yet with enough there to hold up to repeated listening.

The spectacularly ‘80s-sounding single, ‘You Can Call Me Al’ opens the second half of the album with driving synths and a great bassline that carries you along despite any reservations about how clichéd it might seem after 25 years. If carried off with less skill it could easily have been relegated into the over�lowing basket of ‘80s cheesiness which still plagues us now with supposed nostalgia value, but due to excellent lyrics, skilful blending of African in�luences, and of course Simon’s calming voice, it retains integrity.

And I think that could apply to pretty much the whole album. It is de�initely a product of its time, but one still worth a listen and, while not life changing, it’s an experience I enjoyed and would recommend.

Ben Partridge

28

THE COURIER Monday November 21 2011

filmfeatures

Top 5

Nicolas Cage “Wig-outs”

5) Matchstick Men

To ease you in to this list of Nicolas Cage’s favourite style of acting, we begin with one of the more tame and explicable bug-outs. In Matchstick Men, he plays a character with several nervous tics, so it makes a little sense when he starts shouting while describing being beaten until you “PISS BLOOD!” If only the rest of the films on this list were just as tame…

4) Ghost Rider

In Ghost Rider, Cage’s love of screaming (with added manly huskiness) is put to good use as he turns into the eponymous Ghost Rider for the first time. Though, if it weren’t for the dreadful CGI flames, you’d be forgiven for thinking this was The Wicker Man, or Matchstick Men, or Windtalkers, or Raising Arizona…

3) Vampire’s Kiss

In 1988’s Vampire’s Kiss – a classic for examples of Cage’s inimitable talent for overacting – he gets excited while telling his assistant to file things alphabetically.

As he becomes increasing erratic in reciting the alphabet, it suggests a subtleness in his character’s boredom with such mundanities. Either that, or Cage has the acting range of Steven Seagal on crack.

2) Bad Lieutenant

Just missing out on first is Bad Lieutenant, a film which utilises Cage’s natural ability to utterly lose his sh*t surprisingly well.

In one of the high points of the film Cage threatens to shoot an old woman and her nurse in an attempt to find a fleeing witness.

1) The Wicker Man.

In a tour-de-force of acting brilliance from The Wicker Man, Cage exclaims ‘NOT THE BEES! AAAAAHHHHH! THEY’RE IN MY EYES! MY EYES!’ as fittingly, bees attack his eyes.

Patrick McHugh

thecourieronline.co.uk/film c2.film@ncl.ac.uk

Nicolas Cage: Un-Caged

With two UK releases Trespass and Justice out this month, The Courier casts a critical eye over the career of the notoriously zany Hollywood actor.

Let’s deal with this straight away; The Wicker Man is one of the most appalling things produced by America in the last century, up to and including Miley Cyrus.

Now let’s move on. Even in defending Nicolas Cage, you have to be up front and admit that he’s made some real stinkers – aside from which, his acting style tends to be pretty… unique. That said, he’s one of the highest paid actors in Hollywood, so he must be doing something right.

In terms of his films, in the 80s he was actually doing pretty well – Rumble Fish, Raising Arizona and Wild At Heart are all considered genuinely good films, and Cage’s performances were fairly sound.

It was only later on that he mysteriously starting becoming attracted to films like Gone In Sixty Seconds and Ghost Rider – but then, with scripts that bad, there’s really nothing to be done. But even recently, he still delivers solid performances in Kick-Ass, Adaptation and Leaving Las Vegas. And his family films (National Treasure, The Sorceror’s Apprentice) are never going to win Oscars, but they’re perfectly harmless. His acting style is absolutely fine, as long as the script doesn’t call for him to “freak out”.

To me, Nicolas Cage has a similar appeal to Christopher Lee – he’s made some crap, his acting is often questionable, but at the end of the day he’s kind of a legend – even if it’s because he’s so bad it’s good.

Rebecca Orwin

Mankind has asked some pertinent questions since the dawn of humanity. Why do we exist? What’s the meaning of life?

And, most importantly of all, how the hell did Nic Cage’s book in the Wicker Man remake get burned? Of all Cage’s crimes against film, surely his brilliantly dire turn in Neil LaBute’s bafflingly sexist Wicker Man remake will endure, not only for its endless quotability (“Not the bees!

Arrrrrrgh! They’re in my eyes! My eyes!”), but the immortal image of Cage in a bear suit punching a woman in the face.

Cage isn’t only a victim of his terrible script choices (forgettable one-wordtitle thrillers Next, Knowing and this week’s new release Justice) - he’s put in his fair share of dreadful performances.

The further his hairline recedes, the less able he seems to evoke human emotion, hiding his fading talent under a series of increasingly bizarre wigs. For a sample of his best (i.e. worst) work, YouTube search ‘Nicolas Cage Losing His Sh*t’, and revel in five minutes of sheer movie mentalism.

Yes, Nicolas Cage is, on the whole, a genuinely terrible actor. But he exists in the so-bad-he’s-good category that makes all of his films a must-see. While he’s put some decent turns in classic films, for me Nicolas Cage will forever be running through the forest in that bear costume, fist at the ready.

Illustration: Emma Rawsthorne

The last ‘action hero’ Film Editor Chris Binding chats to prominent Korean director Ryoo Seung-Wan about influences, the nature of violence and his latest feature The Unjust In the wake of the powerful distribution and scope of the American film industry, international cinema often struggles to compete, with a select few breakout directors gaining wider audiences and acclaim. This is true for Korean cinema, a unrecognised creative hub of talented filmmakers with only the occasional directors such as Park Chan Wook gaining widespread popular acclaim. The annual London Korean Film Festival, visiting Newcastle this month, aims to change these perceptions, producing an expressive platform for some of Korea’s most innovative and talented filmmakers.

Schooled by prominent Korean directors and with an impressive filmography, director Ryoo Seung-Wan’s latest dark action flick The Unjust, screening at the Tyneside cinema, will be the final film in the festival programme. Incredibly modest, articulate and insightful, Ryoo gives a real insight into the tribulations of independent international and Korean filmmakers.

Dubbed ‘the action kid’ because of his violent films, his early influences came from a fittingly similar genre. “At a young age, I respected Kung Fu films and stars and I knew that I didn’t like martial arts but I liked films about martial arts. The determination to become a Kung Fu star changed to a determination to make films”.

Despite a lack of formal training , his vehement focus and support culminated in his debut first feature Die Bad, partly credited to friend and contact director Park Chan Wook: “the people who gave me help, encouraged me and criticized

me were actually my friends. I include Park Chan Wook in the friend’s category; he was not only a friend but also my teacher”. The resulting career of shorts and features linked by gritty action setpieces and conflicts, led him to inherit the nickname ‘the action kid’. As Ryoo suggested, these imposed filmic personalities can become problematic and skew viewer perceptions. “I think it can be a disruption to experience something new from a film if the director’s name is more popular than the film itself, because it means people have ideas and expectations from the director’s previous films.

So, I don’t really feel that good to have my name out there. The most important thing isn’t the name of the director, or the nickname or fame but the ‘movie’ itself.”

However, with the global success of Korean filmmakers Park Chan Wook (Oldboy) and Kim-Ji Woon (A Bittersweet

At first, I didn’t like the nickname ‘action kid’, but now, I regret it that there are less and less people calling me that.

Maybe because I’m getting older!

Ben Travis Life), it can become tempting for new filmmakers to attempt to conform to Western perceptions to achieve financial success and fame. Ryoo thankfully stands proudly opposed to this idea: “I don’t think it’s necessary to change the way Koreans make films to expand the film industry to gain wider distribution.

Of course, I want my films to be shown to more and more people. But in order to achieve that, if foreign producers or investors asked me to change or edit the parts of the film the films made in that way will be less attractive, less unique and the passion shown for Korean cinema may disappear”. Despite his Western anonymity, he refuses to “sell out” and change his style to mirror trends, with a clear knowledge of his target demographic . “A lot of the foreign audiences are actually quite highbrow, enjoyed as entertainment and art. I don’t want to disappoint these important members of the audience for money.”

Ryoo’s new feature The Unjust chronicles complex webs of corruption within a police station and is potentially inspired by true events that occurred in Korea during the making of the film. Yet, with The Unjust only just reaching Western shores, Ryoo already has new projects in the running, including a spy action movie The Berlin File, showing his affinities with action haven’t changed.

With violence and the action genre symbiotically linked, transcending international boundaries and building Ryoo’s career, in a final poignant comment the ‘action kid’ himself questioned the morbid popularity of the genre. “Isn’t it because inside everyone there is a violent nature? People feel more and more satisfied through violence in films and games.

However, in films of ‘action’ or ‘violence’, which deal with the problem of ‘justice’ you see it made and cheer. The unjust violence in reality can be avoided in films, It is true that the responsibility I feel about the action and violence in my films is getting bigger and deeper.”

The Unjust screens at Tyneside Cinema on November 24th.

THE COURIER Monday November 21 2011

reviewsfilm

Film Editor: Chris Binding Online Film Editor: Hayley Hamilton

The Rum Diaries Based on the novel by Hunter S.Thompson, which in part was based on his own life, The Rum Diary follows alcoholic freelance journalist and struggling writer Paul Kemp (Johnny Depp) as he moves from New York to politically unstable Puerto Rico in 1960 to take up a position at a failing newspaper company. Immersing himself in the tropical paradise’s rum-soaked lifestyle, it is not long before he is offered a job by shady property developer Hal Sanderson (Aaron Eckhart), who is trying to turn a deserted island into a tourist hotspot and wants Kemp to write favourable things about the scheme.

However, things begin to get complicated when he meets the sensational Chenault (Amber Heard), Sanderson’s fiancée.

The film opens with an amusing scene in which Kemp wakes up with a considerable hangover, having ripped the mini fridge from the wall in an effort to try and raid it for more rum. There are numerous entertaining scenes related to alcohol

Immortals

within the film, including a particularly memorable yet absurd scene where the chief protagonist Kemp and his friend Sala (Michael Rispoli) are chased by nearmurderous locals and end up in prison.

Another hilarious scene involves them taking the “most powerful drug in the history of narcotics”.

Depp is solid and believable as Kemp, the washed-up journalist, conveying not only the despair but the frustration at not having made it as a novelist, muttering

Trespass

dialogue such as “I’ve got no voice. I don’t know how to write like me”. Eckhart, as Sanderson, is on typical ‘bad-boy’ overdrive, yet he remains effective throughout as the corrupt antagonist. Heard, as the glamorous Chenault, is distractingly gorgeous, smouldering throughout the film, and we can completely side with Depp as he becomes infatuated with her. However, it is Giovanni Ribisi as the unkempt and fanatical Moburg who steals the show: whenever he is on screen you can’t

The Future

29

help but laugh. The sharp and witty, yet slightly stilted script, helps to convey the demise of the ‘American Dream’, (of which Kemp himself is seemingly a victim) whilst also providing comedy. The film itself looks exquisite; the cinematography of the paradise island of Puerto Rico would be just as much at home on a travel brochure. However, on a negative note, the film is just too long for its own good, dragging in the last half until you just want it to end. Unfortunately, the ending doesn’t come until half an hour after you want it to. This may have something to do with the nature of the plot, as not a lot actually happens. Moreover, while The Rum Diary proves to be relatively enjoyable, you can’t help but compare it to Depp’s previous Thompson adaptation, Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, a significantly better and more enjoyable effort.

VERDICT: An enjoyably ramshackle and often funny film. While it isn’t by any means perfect, it is a fitting sendoff to the late Hunter S.Thompson.

Sam Hopkins

Arthur Christmas

Whose line is it anyway?

This latest addition to a film genre defined by the likes of Clash of the Titans and 300 is a muddled affair that does not recognize its target audience. Originally rated 18 before numerous cuts were made, the level of violence in Immortals makes it markedly at odds with the expected tone of a film that is clearly aimed at a young teenage audience.

As is often the case with this type of film, the plot manages to be both undemanding and incomprehensible. King Hyperion, played by a mumbling Mickey Rourke, leads a massive army seeking the Epirus bow which he will use to release the Titans and dominate the world.

Humanity’s only hope lies with Theseus (Henry Cavill), who has fortunately been raised under the tutelage of Zeus. John Hurt fills the role of the elderly Zeus and offers the occasional wise words of advice.

Of course, one doesn’t watch Immortals for the script but the action scenes. They certainly don’t disappoint, with some quite stunning set pieces that freely use the slow-motion effect as popularised by Zack Snyder. Although the action is considerably more brutal than 300, it does help to make Immortals stand out from the pedestrian efforts usually seen in these fantasy films set in ancient Greece.

Despite fascinating costume design and an interesting visual style that is enhanced by an amber hue, Immortals is pretty predictable and offers up nothing that we haven’t seen before.

VERDICT: Although the visual style and action scenes are impressive, Immortals offers nothing original except a higher level of violence than what is usually expected from the action fantasy genre.

You can’t help but approach with trepidation a film that was stealthily pulled in America after recouping a mere £16k or which features Nicolas Cage somehow managing to ham it up on the promotional poster. But here it is, Joel Schumacher’s Trespass, probably the most head-thuddingly dumb and infuriatingly shrill film of the year.

Nicole Kidman plays the wife of highflying diamond dealer Kyle Miller (Cage) who, along with their daughter, is taken hostage in their palatial gated home by a gang of criminals led by Ben Mendelsohn.

What follows is a hapless and at times bizarre attempt to extricate diamonds from Miller. It is a well-worn setup but where it really innovates is the stunning heights of its stupidity. For starters, pretty much all the characters are undermined in some way by the perpetual mini-twists gleefully sprinkled throughout that have no real bearing on the plot. Kidman seems completely disinterested and spends the first half hour simpering in a corner as Cage is threatened with various acts of mid-level violence.

By halfway it has all descended into a muddle of manic screaming and baffling changes of emo while the inept pacing results in an excruciating thud of bored heads at gun-point, meaningless screeching and, at one point, an extended off-screen tussle for possession of Cage’s thumb. By the time one of the burglars is berated for not taking his psychosis medication you’ll be dizzy from the idiocy that permeates this mess.

VERDICT: Even with the now customary glassy-eyed bouts of concentrated, overacted rage from Cage, it still misses out on being so bad it’s good.

It’s just bad. Stunningly awful in fact.

What can you do if you try to form an opinion about a film that international critics have heaped praise on, but you simply couldn‘t grasp? Question your intelligence? Feel ashamed for your personal taste? Or slap the critics for being a bunch of pretentious mugs? You feel very tempted to do the latter after watching The Future without understanding a single thing and then reading the overly excited reviews which make you feel highly uneducated.

The plot itself seems fairly plain at first sight: A couple in their mid-30s decides to adopt a stray cat. Not a big deal, but the two appear to be pretty wacky and unpredictable from the start, hence the fact they behave like the remaining month before they get the cat is their last time on earth actually makes sense. Both embark on a journey of self-discovery to reinvent themselves, only to seemingly do random things resulting in time and spacial shifts and, eventually, their break-up.

If the film intended to mirror the notion that life is kind of weird, ridiculous and incomprehensible, it has succeeded in this respect and even includes some comic moments. Nevertheless, the general awkwardness and the somewhat humming silence overshadow the humour while the frequent story shifts and symbolism (a crawling T-shirt...?!) cause nothing but confusion. On top of that, the cat‘s voice narrating the story is possibly the most terrifying thing ever.

VERDICT: Don‘t worry if you come out of the cinema wih a massive questionmark on your face. The director and main actress Miranda July calls herself a ‘performance artist’, so we‘re bound to not get everything immediately.

Jeremy Trotter

Billy Wood

Lisa Bernhardt

Paul Kemp: I thought you said you had a TV. Sala: No, the guy across the alley has a TV. I have binoculars.

The Rum Diaries

I am not a demon. I am a lizard, a shark, a heat-seeking panther. I want to be Bob Denver on acid playing the accordion.

Nicolas Cage

In the wake of population growth, the Claus family tackle Christmas in an aircraft of a sleigh using high tech, iPadstyle organisation run by heir to the Santa throne, Steve Claus (Hugh Laurie) and carried out by current Santa (Jim Broadbent). But when one child from an English village is missed, the parents in the audience find the Christmas of their childhood attempting to save the day when Arthur (James McAvoy) and retired Santa (Bill Nighy) set out in a sleigh complete with magic reindeer.

Aardman delights with its usual attention to Britishness, making a Christmas film endearing to the intended audience, from the recognisable family Christmas which falls apart over a board game, to shots of the animated Co-op in the village.

The design itself, despite CGI not being Aardman’s forte, creates one of the more aesthetically-pleasing Christmas animations since Jack Skellington discovered Christmas Town.

A sterling script produces scenes all ages can laugh at, mixed with laugh-outloud lines for adults such as Grandsanta, stranded on an island, asking Arthur to “at least have the decency to finish us off with a rock”. All the characters are loveable, and relatable, thanks to the understanding that an evil villain is unnecessary to cause chaos when you put a family together on Christmas day. The result is an endearing and hilarious Christmas film without over-sentimentality: after all, we are English.

VERDICT:This colourful and detailed Christmas animation relates to all ages while poignantly covering the modernisation of tradition, charming the audience with its hilarious lines and characters.

Mallory McDonald

30

THE COURIER Monday November 21 2011

science&technology

thecourieronline.co.uk/science c2.science@ncl.ac.uk

Control: The Science Behind Free Will Joe Willet discusses the philosophy and anatomy surrounding the concept of decision-making

Mark Strozier 2009

W

e all like to feel that we’re in control of our actions. You decide when to get up, what to have for breakfast and whether you’re going to that early morning lecture. But what if your behaviour was beyond your control? What if factors that you had no control over were causing you to do things that no right-thinking person would do? Recent discoveries in the �ield of neurobiology have demonstrated a distinct lack of control in people convicted of despicable acts. Evidence suggests that theft, assault and even murder are only a slight change in the brain’s physiology away.

David Eagleman, an author and neurobiologist at the Baylor College of Medicine, uses several case studies to illustrate this in his recent article for The Atlantic. One such case was that of Charles Whitman.

In August 1966, Whitman climbed to the observation deck of the University of Texas Tower in Austin armed with several guns and a large amount of ammunition.

After killing the receptionist and two tourists, Whitman opened �ire on the peo-

ple milling around below the tower.

By the time the police took him down the former marine had killed 13 people and wounded 32 others. A further person died the following week in hospital, and it later emerged that Whitman had murdered his mother and his wife in their beds prior to the shootings. Whitman’s typewritten suicide note was found on his body. In it he claimed: “I don’t really understand myself these days. I am supposed to be an average, reasonable and intelligent young man. However, lately (I can’t recall when it started) I have been a victim of many unusual and irrational thoughts.”

He also used the note to request an autopsy to investigate his brain as he suspected that something had changed inside him. Sure enough, when his brain was later examined, a tumour the size of a 10 pence piece was found deep within.

The tumour was pressing against an area known as the amygdala, responsible for the regulation of fear and aggression.

Could the tumour have been responsi-

Charles Whitman Who was the man atop the tower?

A former marine and student at Texas University, Whitman excelled academically and was well-liked.

Prior to his murders, and subsequent death, Whitman was affected by a marine court martial for gambling and was failing at university. He was later honourably discharged from military service.

The break up of his mother - who he later murdered - and authoritarian father several months before the event provoked Whitman to visit a university psychiatrist.

In the early hours of the morning of August 1 1966, Whitman stabbed his sleeping wife �ive times in the heart as she slept, before going out to purchse an arsenal of weapons and climb the University of Texas Tower. It was here that he indiscriminately gunned down 46 people, 14 of whom died.

At 1.24pm, three Austin Police Department Of�icers, Ramiro Martinez, Houston McCoy and Jerry Day reached the observation deck of the tower, and after a brief exchange of �ire killed Whitman in a cross�ire. The triumphant Martinez exclaimed after the event, “I got him!”

Photo: 1963 Cactus, the student yearbook of the University of Texas. Copy found at “Charles Whitman Images and Documents,” The Austin History Center. Reference AR.2000.002, Austin History Center, Austin Public

What if your behaviour was beyond your control?

What if factors that you had no control over were causing you to do things that no rightthinking person would do?

ble for Whitman’s actions? It would be simplistic to say that it was the sole cause, but Eagleman is con�ident that it was a key factor.

This isn’t the only example of a tumour having such an insidious effect on an individual’s personality. Eagleman also quotes a case from 2000, in which a 40-year-old man was arrested and charged with the sexual abuse of a child.

In the months prior to his arrest he had developed an obsession with child pornography. He claimed that he had never been compelled to look at such material before, but he had suddenly developed an uncontrollable urge.

The worst was yet to come - he started to make advances on his young stepdaughter. He was arrested and was in the process of being sentenced when he started to complain of terrible headaches.

A brain scan revealed a tumour. The man underwent surgery, and the removal of the tumour caused his inappropriate desires to disappear.

How could this happen? The tumour was in an area of the man’s brain called the orbitofrontal cortex – an area responsible for the inhibition of subconscious desires. Sure enough, when the man started to act strangely once again, it was found that a piece of the tumour had persisted and re-grown. Removal of the last piece of tumour was enough to cure him permanently.

The brain is an unfathomably complex organ – every part of the brain is interconnected, with each area being informed by countless inputs. Where does free will �it in? Nowhere in the brain is independent – at least not to our knowledge. Our society is based on the assumption that people are free to make their own decisions, yet there are numerous examples of individuals’ actions being governed by faulty brain chemistry.

Take, for example, those who suffer from Parkinson’s disease. Parkinson’s is a neurodegenerative disorder that results in brains that don’t make enough dopamine – a chemical responsible for the transmission of messages between nerve cells. When dopamine is in short supply, patients are unable to make smooth, voluntary movements, resulting in tremors.

Doctors will therefore prescribe a drug that imitates dopamine to help patients with their motor control. Problem solved?

Not quite.

In some patients, drugs that are used to treat Parkinson’s have rather strange side effects. People start gambling when they have never gambled before, and develop eating disorders and drug addictions that didn’t exist previously. Put simply, they are unable to control their urges. The reason for this is that dopamine does more than one job in the brain.

In addition to a role in voluntary movement, dopamine plays a key part in the

Problems that are now opaque will open up to examination by new techniques, and we may someday �ind that many types of bad behaviour have a basic biological explanation— as has happened with schizophrenia, epilepsy, depression, and mania.

THE COURIER Monday November 21 2011

Science Editor: Mark Atwill

science&technology David Eagleman Author, neuroscienstist, radical thinker

Mark Strozier 2009

reward system responsible for ensuring that people make rational decisions. If there is too much dopamine (or a drug that imitates it) in the brain, people receive positive reinforcement where there was none before, causing them to make irrational decisions. When the patients in question reduce their dosage of dopamine-imitating drugs, their behaviour returns to normal. This is just one example of aberrant brain chemistry having drastic effects on peoples’ behaviour.

So what do these cases show us? They show us that when our brain biology goes awry, so does our ability to make rational decisions. This has important implications for the treatment of criminals. Our legal system is built on a foundation of culpability based on responsibility, but to what extent are criminals responsible for their actions? The examples here are extreme, involving rare biological events that affect few people. On a wider philosophical level - considering what we know about genetics and the effect of environmental pressures on an individual’s personality - it is not out of the question to suggest that no one is really responsible for their actions.

No one can help their genetic make-up or the environment they grew up in. At what point in your life did you start to act outside the in�luence of your genes and your environment and exhibit free will?

When you were four? Or twelve? Perhaps you never did.

The philosophical doctrine of determinism claims that free will is at best limited and at worst an illusion. A ‘hard determinist’ believes the latter – that noone really has a choice when they make decisions. Every event is the result of the accumulation of past events that we have no control over. Present events move through us, and consequently we feel like we have free will, but this perception is a consequence of the way our brains are wired. A ‘soft determinist’ on the other hand believes in a small element of free

D

Photo: David Eagleman speaking at the UP Experience in Houston, TX. Lawbuffy 2010

avid Eagleman is a neuroscientist and director of the Laboratory of Perception and Action and the Initiative on Neuroscience and Law at the Baylor College of Medicine.

As a child, Eagleman fell from a roof, and the altered perception of time he witnessed led to an interest in understanding the neural basis of time perception. With a basis in Literature, Eagleman earned a PhD in Neuroscience and now serves on the editorial boards

will. According to a soft determinist, a person’s genetics and past experiences conspire to create a limited amount of choice when making a decision.

The philosopher Simon Blackburn describes the brain according to soft determinism as a decision-making computer that - based on previous inputs and outcomes - creates a number of options, one of which is then chosen as the best option by the computer. If a person feels like a certain course of action is the right one, it is because previous inputs and subsequent outcomes have shown that to be the case. An individual does have an element of control over which decision to take, but it is limited.

So what does science tell us about free will? A recent article in Nature News outlined several studies that have aimed to lay a biological foundation for the philosophy of determinism. A 2007 study led by John-Dylan Haynes in Berlin asked participants to make a decision – the decision to press a button with either the left or right hand in response to �lashing

of the journals PLoS One and the Journal of Vision. He is also a Guggenheim fellow, a Next Generation Texas Fellow, a Fellow of the Institute for Ethics and Emerging Technologies, a council member on the World Economic Forum’s Global Agenda Council on Brain & Cognitive Sciences, and was recently voted one of Houston’s Most Stylish Men. He is perhaps best known for his work in time perception, synesthesia and neuroscience and law.

letters on a screen – whilst having their brains scanned using functional MRI. The study detected brain activity seconds before a conscious decision was made, and found that this brain activity could predict which hand would be used in 60% of cases. In other words, the brain had decided what it would do before the individual was aware of making a decision.

Critics of the study argue that 60% is not a high enough percentage for the scientists’ conclusion to be viable, and that all the study shows is that there are biological factors that in�luence decision making. However, this is not the only study that shows an absence of conscious decision making. Itzhak Fried – a neurosurgeon at the University of California – implanted electrodes in the brains of patients undergoing surgery to treat epilepsy. This technique is more sensitive than the MRI used by Haynes, and Fried found that in a similar decision-making experiment, outcomes could be predicted up to 80% of the time, with activity reg-

Crime and Funishment

The hard determinist view of criminal justice

T

he hardline determinist view on crime and punishment denotes fault and blame have no place in judicial matters. David Eagleman, writing in the Atlantic made the following argument: “To what extent was it his biology, and to what extent was it him? Because we now understand that there is no meaningful distinction between a person’s biology and his decision-making. They are inseparable.”

Incarceration - removing the wrongdoer from society for the protection of

the public - is still eligible in the eyes of the determinist, as the public have the intrinsic right to safety. Eagleman and other determinists are against punishment but they recognize that incarceration still has a role to play because the public has a right to be safe. However some philosophers such as Paul Smilansky believe that criminals who are incarcerated should simultaneously be compensated for the act. He coins the term ‘funishment’.

31

Time perception Eagleman’s work in this �ield combines psychological, behavioural and computational approaches that can establish a relationship between the temporal relationship of neuronal signals. He is well known in the �ields of temporal encoding, time warping, the perception of causality and the alteration of time perception in stress situations. He is known for often boundary breaking experimental work, in one case dropping himself and volunteers from a 150-foot tower to measure time perception as they fell. His long term goal is best described in his own words, being: “to understand how neural signals processed by different brain regions come together for a temporally uni�ied picture of the world”.

Synaesthesia The unusual perceptual condition in which stimulation of one sense triggers an involuntary sensation in another sense. Eagleman is the developer of the Synaesthesia Battery, an online test for the synaesthete, which is an interesting personal experiment.

Neuroscience and the Law Neurolaw is an emerging �ield that argues brain science should determine the level of punishment for criminals, the law and for rehabilitation. This has led to radical new ideas, such as funishment, which is very much the premise of the hard determinist.

istering in the brain up to one and a half seconds before a conscious decision had been made.

Taken together, these experiments cast doubt on the notion of free will. It is dif�icult to comprehend, adapted as we are to the idea that individuals are responsible for making conscious decisions. The results of these studies suggest not only that the brain begins to make a decision before we are aware of carrying out conscious thought, but that these pre-decision brain patterns are consistent enough to predict what a person will decide to do. The potential implications are huge. How can it be fair to punish people for crimes if they are not responsible for their actions?

The more that science reveals about the biology behind criminal acts and the controversial nature of free will in general, the more we as a society have to be careful when attributing blame. As our understanding of mental illnesses like schizophrenia has developed over recent years, our justice system has been challenged to reconsider how we de�ine full responsibility. It is likely that future research will demonstrate defects in the brain biology of criminals previously thought to be ‘free-choosing’.

As Eagleman says: “Technology will continue to improve, and as we grow better at measuring problems in the brain, the fault line (of blameworthiness) will drift into the territory of people we currently hold fully accountable for their crimes. Problems that are now opaque will open up to examination by new techniques, and we may someday �ind that many types of bad behaviour have a basic biological explanation—as has happened with schizophrenia, epilepsy, depression, and mania.”

Obviously, the incarceration of criminals in prisons is necessary if only to protect the general public from people who are likely to re-offend. Prison also serves as a way of preventing future crimes by acting as both negative reinforcement and as a deterrent (although criminals often share the common feature of having poor impulse control). Given the evidence however, rehabilitation has to be prioritised over punishment. If the majority of criminals are shown to be not responsible for their actions, then they are not culpable.

Harsh punishment in these cases would simply not be fair.

THE COURIER Monday November 21 2011

Science Editor: Mark Atwill

science&technology David Eagleman Author, neuroscienstist, radical thinker

Mark Strozier 2009

reward system responsible for ensuring that people make rational decisions. If there is too much dopamine (or a drug that imitates it) in the brain, people receive positive reinforcement where there was none before, causing them to make irrational decisions. When the patients in question reduce their dosage of dopamine-imitating drugs, their behaviour returns to normal. This is just one example of aberrant brain chemistry having drastic effects on peoples’ behaviour.

So what do these cases show us? They show us that when our brain biology goes awry, so does our ability to make rational decisions. This has important implications for the treatment of criminals. Our legal system is built on a foundation of culpability based on responsibility, but to what extent are criminals responsible for their actions? The examples here are extreme, involving rare biological events that affect few people. On a wider philosophical level - considering what we know about genetics and the effect of environmental pressures on an individual’s personality - it is not out of the question to suggest that no one is really responsible for their actions.

No one can help their genetic make-up or the environment they grew up in. At what point in your life did you start to act outside the in�luence of your genes and your environment and exhibit free will?

When you were four? Or twelve? Perhaps you never did.

The philosophical doctrine of determinism claims that free will is at best limited and at worst an illusion. A ‘hard determinist’ believes the latter – that noone really has a choice when they make decisions. Every event is the result of the accumulation of past events that we have no control over. Present events move through us, and consequently we feel like we have free will, but this perception is a consequence of the way our brains are wired. A ‘soft determinist’ on the other hand believes in a small element of free

D

Photo: David Eagleman speaking at the UP Experience in Houston, TX. Lawbuffy 2010

avid Eagleman is a neuroscientist and director of the Laboratory of Perception and Action and the Initiative on Neuroscience and Law at the Baylor College of Medicine.

As a child, Eagleman fell from a roof, and the altered perception of time he witnessed led to an interest in understanding the neural basis of time perception. With a basis in Literature, Eagleman earned a PhD in Neuroscience and now serves on the editorial boards

will. According to a soft determinist, a person’s genetics and past experiences conspire to create a limited amount of choice when making a decision.

The philosopher Simon Blackburn describes the brain according to soft determinism as a decision-making computer that - based on previous inputs and outcomes - creates a number of options, one of which is then chosen as the best option by the computer. If a person feels like a certain course of action is the right one, it is because previous inputs and subsequent outcomes have shown that to be the case. An individual does have an element of control over which decision to take, but it is limited.

So what does science tell us about free will? A recent article in Nature News outlined several studies that have aimed to lay a biological foundation for the philosophy of determinism. A 2007 study led by John-Dylan Haynes in Berlin asked participants to make a decision – the decision to press a button with either the left or right hand in response to �lashing

of the journals PLoS One and the Journal of Vision. He is also a Guggenheim fellow, a Next Generation Texas Fellow, a Fellow of the Institute for Ethics and Emerging Technologies, a council member on the World Economic Forum’s Global Agenda Council on Brain & Cognitive Sciences, and was recently voted one of Houston’s Most Stylish Men. He is perhaps best known for his work in time perception, synesthesia and neuroscience and law.

letters on a screen – whilst having their brains scanned using functional MRI. The study detected brain activity seconds before a conscious decision was made, and found that this brain activity could predict which hand would be used in 60% of cases. In other words, the brain had decided what it would do before the individual was aware of making a decision.

Critics of the study argue that 60% is not a high enough percentage for the scientists’ conclusion to be viable, and that all the study shows is that there are biological factors that in�luence decision making. However, this is not the only study that shows an absence of conscious decision making. Itzhak Fried – a neurosurgeon at the University of California – implanted electrodes in the brains of patients undergoing surgery to treat epilepsy. This technique is more sensitive than the MRI used by Haynes, and Fried found that in a similar decision-making experiment, outcomes could be predicted up to 80% of the time, with activity reg-

Crime and Funishment

The hard determinist view of criminal justice

T

he hardline determinist view on crime and punishment denotes fault and blame have no place in judicial matters. David Eagleman, writing in the Atlantic made the following argument: “To what extent was it his biology, and to what extent was it him? Because we now understand that there is no meaningful distinction between a person’s biology and his decision-making. They are inseparable.”

Incarceration - removing the wrongdoer from society for the protection of

the public - is still eligible in the eyes of the determinist, as the public have the intrinsic right to safety. Eagleman and other determinists are against punishment but they recognize that incarceration still has a role to play because the public has a right to be safe. However some philosophers such as Paul Smilansky believe that criminals who are incarcerated should simultaneously be compensated for the act. He coins the term ‘funishment’.

31

Time perception Eagleman’s work in this �ield combines psychological, behavioural and computational approaches that can establish a relationship between the temporal relationship of neuronal signals. He is well known in the �ields of temporal encoding, time warping, the perception of causality and the alteration of time perception in stress situations. He is known for often boundary breaking experimental work, in one case dropping himself and volunteers from a 150-foot tower to measure time perception as they fell. His long term goal is best described in his own words, being: “to understand how neural signals processed by different brain regions come together for a temporally uni�ied picture of the world”.

Synaesthesia The unusual perceptual condition in which stimulation of one sense triggers an involuntary sensation in another sense. Eagleman is the developer of the Synaesthesia Battery, an online test for the synaesthete, which is an interesting personal experiment.

Neuroscience and the Law Neurolaw is an emerging �ield that argues brain science should determine the level of punishment for criminals, the law and for rehabilitation. This has led to radical new ideas, such as funishment, which is very much the premise of the hard determinist.

istering in the brain up to one and a half seconds before a conscious decision had been made.

Taken together, these experiments cast doubt on the notion of free will. It is dif�icult to comprehend, adapted as we are to the idea that individuals are responsible for making conscious decisions. The results of these studies suggest not only that the brain begins to make a decision before we are aware of carrying out conscious thought, but that these pre-decision brain patterns are consistent enough to predict what a person will decide to do. The potential implications are huge. How can it be fair to punish people for crimes if they are not responsible for their actions?

The more that science reveals about the biology behind criminal acts and the controversial nature of free will in general, the more we as a society have to be careful when attributing blame. As our understanding of mental illnesses like schizophrenia has developed over recent years, our justice system has been challenged to reconsider how we de�ine full responsibility. It is likely that future research will demonstrate defects in the brain biology of criminals previously thought to be ‘free-choosing’.

As Eagleman says: “Technology will continue to improve, and as we grow better at measuring problems in the brain, the fault line (of blameworthiness) will drift into the territory of people we currently hold fully accountable for their crimes. Problems that are now opaque will open up to examination by new techniques, and we may someday �ind that many types of bad behaviour have a basic biological explanation—as has happened with schizophrenia, epilepsy, depression, and mania.”

Obviously, the incarceration of criminals in prisons is necessary if only to protect the general public from people who are likely to re-offend. Prison also serves as a way of preventing future crimes by acting as both negative reinforcement and as a deterrent (although criminals often share the common feature of having poor impulse control). Given the evidence however, rehabilitation has to be prioritised over punishment. If the majority of criminals are shown to be not responsible for their actions, then they are not culpable.

Harsh punishment in these cases would simply not be fair.

THE COURIER Monday November 21 2011

Science Editor: Mark Atwill Online Science Editor: Shaun Butcher

WeirdScience We won’t remember it for your wholesale

Ok, so who remembers Total Recall? Arnie once again cuts a badass rug as a secret agent come xenophilic liberator of a Martian mining colony, all from the comfort of a �lashing chair in an LA clinic. Fanciful stuff. Why then - for the purposes of an incredibly complex psychological experiment into the effects of extended space travel - did the combined international space agencies of Europe consider Paul Verhoeven’s vision of Phillip K. Dick’s darkest sci-�i the perfect inspiration?

European and Chinese scientists emerged at the beginning of November from 18 months in isolation, in which they were monitored daily for the psychological effects associated with the tedium and ‘cabin fever’ provoked by long space missions. With a �light to Mars penciled in for some time in the 2030’s, this kind of expensive pioneering work is apparently needed to convince the sceptics.

The men (all men, yes, after a failed experiment in 2000, nudge wink) spent this period sealed in a series of cramped capsules within a Moscow warehouse, playing Guitar Hero, watching movies and going to the gym to relieve the boredom.

After a feigned period on ‘Mars’, they then �lew home. The simulation was as realistic as possible, complete with twentyminute communication delays, recycled air and vacuum toilets. In fact, the only thing missing from this simulation of being in space - and this is paramount in my estimation of this experiment - was being in space.

Space means death; freezing, airless lonely death millions of miles from everything familiar and safe and ‘home’.

These men were a door away from rescue for the entire duration of the experiment.

The constant fear of death, the ne’er abating nausea of centrifugally replicated gravity and overwhelming isolation surely are the biggest and most insidious psychological issues for any deep space explorers, with boredom a side issue at best. Without the key element of actually being in space, it is unfortunate that the only thing these men simulated for 18 months was being a: agoraphobic or b: in prison.

The experiment was deemed successful.

The men didn’t murder each other and, apparently exhibiting no outward signs of mental damage, returned, somewhat pale and skeletal, to a lukewarm reception replete with bemused schoolchildren and slightly peeved family members. The results of the psychological analysis apparently proved that, in principle, a long voyage is now head sponge wise a big fat go.

The men did seem proud of themselves, and were deemed to have suffered no psychological trauma from the trials of the experiment. Italian scientist Diego Urbina said afterwards: “We have achieved on Earth the longest space voyage ever, so that humankind can one day greet a new dawn on the surface of a distant but reachable planet.” Hang on, space voyage?

Maybe they should check them out again, just to be sure.

Environmation

science&technology

Technology For the savvy student

The prospect of another hard winter

After the chaos of the last few winters, wellies were on the top of my list when packing for uni at the end of the summer.

“Madness!” cried even the Midlanders.

“Take them up after Christmas!” But after last year, I wasn’t falling for that one again.

It is going to snow somewhere in the British Isles this winter; the question is when and where?

The weather is a subject of conversation we’ve all resorted to, yet rarely do we discuss the forces behind it. This October was the seventh warmest on record, but last December was the coldest since records began. We can thank our mid-latitude location for the variability, though our position does lend us some advantages. The British Isles are unusually warm for their latitude and it’s partly down to a system of ocean currents (sometimes compared to a conveyor belt) known as the thermohaline current. These currents are fuelled by differences in temperature (thermo) and salinity (haline). It’s fairly complicated but, on a basic level, it’s not too hard to appreciate that water is warmed at the equator and rises, travels north, then cools and sinks. The warm water keeps us toasty (ish), and keeps northern sea ice at bay so that less light and warmth is re�lected away. Moreover, the jet stream brings warm moist air from the west.

You may be wondering how this all relates to snow. Back in the winter of 1963, one of these systems was knocked off track. Snow came thick and fast on Boxing Day and the cold didn’t release its grip on the country until the following March. Fresh water had to be rationed, communities were cut off and many had to walk miles each day for provisions. Meteorologists have been working for years to attempt to predict if and when an event on this scale will happen again. The latest

TalkingTough Cognitive Enhancers: Limitless

I know I can’t be the only one who feels under strain with university work, especially around exam time when stress levels reach their peak and my brain saturates and agglomerates into a mass of discombobulation (well, it feels that way). Have you ever heard of cognitive enhancers and wondered whether a fellow student may be using them? New Scientist and Newsnight recently ran an anonymous online questionnaire, where 38% of the 761 people who partook in the survey had used cognitive enhancers, with almost 40% of users sourcing these from internet sites. Although the questionnaire is not representative of the population, it still provides insight into the area. Cognitive enhancers, what are they all about?

Cognitive enhancing drugs are prescribed mainly in conditions such as ADHD, dementia and narcolepsy. Modna�il has been found to increase long-term concentration and alertness. Susan Watts of Newsnight took the drug in a study to further investigate the effects, and akin to previous �indings, had improved memory, planning abilities and impulsivity. One student from the University of Oxford who had used modna�il said: “I’ve taken

33

efforts include a snow-making machine three �loors high, alowing researchers to make snow in the lab and look at how the type and amount of snowfall changes under different conditions.

Predictions are, and always have been, so important because of the impact snow has on everyone when it does arrive, from the NHS to winter wildlife. The Met Of�ice works 365 days a year to try and say with some degree of certainty what will happen, but are only able to give accurate predictions within days. Despite all the hard work going on, no one can say for sure if it will snow in Newcastle before the end of the term or whether we’re going to have a white Christmas.

The best advice is to keep an eye on the reports as it gets colder and plan for the worst – stockpiling chocolate is de�initely necessary.

Emma Summerscales

The latest efforts include a snow-making machine three �loors high, alowing researchers to make snow in the lab and look at how the type and amount of snowfall changes under different conditions.

it a few times, primarily for its ability to increase wakefulness and allow me to concentrate and stay awake for very extended periods of time”.

However, the use of cognitive enhancers is problematic. There are many dangers associated with buying drugs over the internet. First and foremost, the drugs have a number of contra-indications and side effects and, without medical assessment, the use of these drugs may be dangerous.

That is assuming the drugs are of suitable standard. The reported effects from the questionnaire varied; some users experienced an increased ability to study for long periods of time, where others felt anxious and hyperactive. This may be due to online purchases of drugs, as most of the suppliers are not based in the UK and may not be regulated, resulting in fake or substandard medicines. It is also important to note that any long-term side effects of the drugs are unknown.

Finally, the ethical debates associated with the topic are vast in terms of the impact on society. How fair is it that some students are using cognitive enhancers and can they be labelled ‘cheaters’?

Should all students be using these drugs to boost their overall performance and would this bene�it society as a whole?

The �irst thing I think of is sport; athletes are banned from using performance enhancing drugs. Is this not the same situation? If cognitive enhancers do become our norm, would this introduce a split in society between those who can and can’t afford the drugs? A huge grey area, yet to be properly explored. Could our future be limitless?

Lauren Tough

I was browsing the web, during a welldeserved break from work, and came across OmmWriter. This free word processing software is a must-have for those who are easily distracted and need soothing music whilst you work. OmmWriter takes over your entire screen and you can choose your background – pick from Chromeatherapy, White Space, or even opt for the Snow theme. Not only does it provide soothing background images, you can have atmospheric music to help you breeze through your essays. Although this isn’t for me (I like Word too much) I can see the appeal and it certainly has a novelty factor – best of all, it’s free!

Newcastle University ISS have just released mobile applications. This is a great step forward for Newcastle University as they are beginning realise the importance, and reliance, students place on technology. This new service is currently in ‘testing’ and it needs development.

However, the app (which isn’t really an app – it’s more of an online version of parts of the current site) will allow you to look at your timetable and �ind a spare PC in one of the computer clusters. I have tried this using my iPhone on campus and the current design doesn’t work. However, if you head over to m.ncl.ac.uk on your laptop, you can see what ISS are trying to achieve. As I said, this does need development and it could mean the inclusion of other services: could our SmartCards be part of the app? This new development has potential which I hope the University explores.

Do you ever go to the library and realise you have forgotten to put your work on a memory stick? Are you sick of sending your work via email? Well, not anymore.

With DropBox you get 2GB of free online storage which you can use to store anything you like. With a lot of talk about ‘The Cloud’ in the Tech world, DropBox provides a good service. All you have to do is download the program on one computer and you can access your �iles anywhere, and across different operating systems. Also, it updates in near real-time so you can hit save on your essay at home and then print it out at the library without using a memory stick or email - or the very confusing Newcastle system of �ile sharing. ‘The Cloud’ is becoming one of the big things in the Tech world and DropBox is at the forefront.

Most of us use iTunes for listening to music, but how many of us use it to help with our studies? Well, iTunes U provides access to some of the best educational content. You can watch a lecture from Yale University, watch one of Shakespeare’s plays and learn a new language.

Newcastle University are in on this too. iTunes U’s slogan is: ‘Learn anything, anywhere, anytime’ and you actually can. I watched a lecture on my phone which was on the exact same theme of my module. You can download books, lectures and podcasts from a wide range of subjects. This is something you should check out!

Shaun Butcher Online Science Editor

34

tvfeatures Winter heart-warmers

THE COURIER Monday November 21 2011

thecourieronline.co.uk/tvandradio c2.tv@ncl.ac.uk TV Editors: Sophia Fairhead and Nicole Stevenson

Ridhu Bhatia on the shows you can rely on to lift your spirits when the temperature drops

Drop Down Menu

As a Spanish saying goes: ‘The belly rules the mind.’ We all know food can warm anyone up and this cooking show delivers nicely. Presented

by Matt Tebbutt and Gizzi Erskine with an array of celebrities and guest chefs, the audience selects one of three dishes from the giant drop-down menu for the chef to cook while Gizzi interviews the celebrity. So it’s a talk show within in a cooking show! The rustic set and the live audience add to the homely feeling. The best part is that the dishes featured are quick and easy ones so if you feel like tasting them you can just whip them up yourself within minutes once the show is over!

The ultimate television drama, One Tree Hill, has everything from romance to crazy stalkers and from basketball to teenage pregnancy. The characters are so real and lovable that after a few episodes you start to feel for them as you would for your loved ones. You laugh with them, cry with them and celebrate with them. What’s more, extremely beautiful actors play them, which is a real treat for the eyes! The story line is so gripping that it is much more than a teen-drama and gives you that fuzzy warm feeling with every new episode that airs.

What’s better to warm you up than the sun? Amanda Lamb’s objective is to meet the demands of house hunters in the sunny parts of southern Europe, whilst staying within their budget.

Amanda proves that buying a house abroad doesn’t need to burn a hole in your pocket and does so in gorgeous warm places where the sea is blue and the wind is balmy. If you draw the curtains you may even forget that it is raining outside! The beautiful homes and the wonderful locations really help to trick the mind into believing that you needn’t be there to experience it!

Some might say it is a rip-off of Friends, but it is undeniable that watching HIMYM is a hilarious way to pass 30 minutes and forget about the cares of the world. The show is about eternal friendships and �inding true love and it sure warms me up to see the bond between the characters! Plus, there is a lot of food and drink along with silly pranks and really good stories. The unique thing about this show is that the whole thing is a �lashback – and yes, sometimes you forget that it’s really about how Ted Mosby met his children’s mother, but laughter is the best medicine. Even if it is a re-run, HIMYM delivers lots of laughs – guaranteed!

Hottie of the Week

Catch-up:

Spencer Hastings

Top Boy

Based in the backstreets of London’s East-End, the four-part series Top Boy has emerged with general appraisal onto our television screens and de�initely seems worth a watch. In Hackney, we enter a world of gangs, violence and drama, although not as Hollywood would have it; the camera is more subtle and the reality perhaps too gritty for any kind of comparable motion picture produced across the pond. Having said that, it seems dif�icult to view Top Boy and not be reminded of, or compare it to, The Wire (the cult American series from the US, grounded in very similar themes to ‘Top Boy’).

Ronan Bennet’s script relays the various (�ictitious) stories of those involved in and surrounding Hackney’s drug ‘trade’ from the teenage gangs you would expect in such a programme, to the pregnant women investing in marijuana in an attempt to make ends meet. The screenplay seems realistic, and you are certainly drawn into the characters’ worlds: Ra Neill’s emotional and social dilemmas over his mother’s mental illness, as well as the pressure received to work for one of the drugs gangs are particularly emotive; despite potential stereotypes, an audience can de�initely engage on a personal level with Top Boy.

Coronation Street & Eastenders

In Corrie, the big question that hung over Chesney last week is: the dog or the baby; his loyal, childhood friend, Schmeichel, or his unborn baby and girlfriend, Katy?

As Owen said: “Boys have pets; men have responsibilities.” I know I’d rather being responsible for a dog, but if I had the misfortune of making a decision based on a human life and the life of a dying mutt – the answer is pretty obvious. We excuse Chesney for forgetting the order of his priorities - he did accept that his furry best friend had to go, seeing as he couldn’t afford the rent and a second operation for the poor thing.

Talking of poor things, Lloyd (the man with a big heart and shallow pockets) is the victim of a scandalous affair going on right under his nose involving his girlfriend Cheryl and her ex, Chris. The cabby accepted his girlfriend’s ex into his own home out of the kindness of his heart, to ensure Chris’s ‘last days’ were spent in warmth and comfort. Little did he know that he’d end up being the gooseberry.

Meanwhile, in the Square, Yusef, probably the most irritating character in history, has been the villain of the show by slowly but surely destroying the remaining happiness of the wretched Masood family. He pushed Manfred (Iceage) lookalike, Masood, out of the picture and tried to kill Zainab, in various ways including strangulation and poisoning, before proclaiming his love for her!

We still feel unsettled with the transition between the little Ben and the grown-up Ben Mitchell, yet the likeness of his tough-cookie character to his father causes more discomfort. Pathetically, he is presented as hitting on gym bunny Christian, the sorriest soul of them all.

A Place in the Sun

How I Met Your Mother

One Tree Hill

Soapwatch

Elsewhere, we encounter the broader issue of rivalry between two drug gangs in Hackney, as well as the tale of Ra Neill’s weaker friend Gem, who succumbs to temptation and chooses quick cash from a gang leader in return for working for him. Certain scenes are tense enough to keep you on the edge of your seat and are, at times, even upsetting - the scene with Gem’s dog remains long in the memory (watch to �ind out more).

Having made comparisons to The Wire, a marked difference should perhaps be identi�ied: the police (or lack thereof) in Top Boy. I would say that this is where the programme shows most weakness, and it seems I am not alone in such an observation. It is a little strange that the drugs and violence in Top Boy passes by, almost entirely unopposed or even recognised by a police presence. A study of real life in Hackney by The Observer included interviews with speci�ic individuals.

Aside from the noticeable lack of government forces, some of the youth who previewed the series also questioned

the heavy focus on drugs, indicating that violence is not always necessarily related to drugs.

That said, on the whole, Top Boy is, apparently, generally realistic - and even if it’s not, it’s still good viewing. Although only a four part series, the programme is effective enough that you can get to know the characters and care about them.

From the more obvious drug-related issues to those of mental health and general life on a housing estate, Top Boy does well to present both a broad and personal picture of the location and characters involved. Check it out on iPlayer if you missed the real thing.

Nonie Heal

Nicole Stevenson TV Editor

My �irst impressions of Spencer Hastings were, admittedly, probably the same as yours: that of an over-competitive, tight-arse know-it-all. However, as I delved further into the series, the sticky situations that the infamous ‘A’ puts these pretty little liars in reveals another facet of Spencer’s personality, and I gradually started to �ind a real charm to her.

Her atypical face, luscious brown locks and stunning long legs make her a de�inite winner in my eyes. Not to mention that she has that sexy, feisty thing going on, being the only one who ever stood up to vicious best friend and queen bee of the clique, the late Alison DiLaurentis.

I do feel that Spencer’s degree of �itness was greatly enhanced when she began her controversial and forbidden (in the hot way) relationship with Toby Cavanaugh.

Despite, of course, this being �ictional, I did �ind there was a certain ‘new-found love glow’ emanating from her face as they progressively bonded. Her initial rigidness quite rightly disappeared and her wardrobe then occasionally allowed less preppy and more �lirtatious clothing items.

All in all, Spencer Hastings might not be the conventional choice when eyeing up the female cast of Pretty Little Liars, but that’s why I love her. That, and our shared love for Jake Gyllenhaal.

Emma Balter

THE COURIER Monday November 21 2011

thecourieronline.co.uk/careers c2.editor@ncl.ac.uk

featurecareers

Graduate Profile

Lauren Girling speaks to The Courier’s own Polly Randall, a former Music Editor who graduated in 2011 and has quite an appetite for the world of work.

Many of us (myself included!) are currently having that same panic – what do we do after we graduate? Suddenly out of the university microcosm, we �ind ourselves no longer in a world of trebles, allnighters and exams but rather facing the very real prospect of working ‘9 ‘til 5’. However, will there really be scope for this stereotype? With estimations of up to 83 applicants per space on a graduate trainee scheme, some may think the outlook’s a bit bleak. This thought has been on my mind a lot recently but as I was sat in the library typing away the hours, I came across Polly Randall’s food blog, milkedteeth.blogspot.com. This is where Polly displays her culinary exploits from all over the ‘Toon with the witty truth I remembered from her music articles. But how can she �ind the time to write so enthusiastically about food? Well, it turns out that not every recent graduate has to be another sad statistic, as Polly

has managed to bag herself a fantastic job at loveyourlarder.com – an online artisan food emporium.

‘I was very lucky,’ explains Polly, ‘I stumbled across a few opportunities after my exams and the �irst interview I went to, I got! It seems if you are willing to do anything then you can �ind work, but there are scarcely any graduate jobs to come by’.

However Polly adds that, just like the rest of us, she was uncertain about which career direction she was going to take, ‘I wasn’t sure

what I was doing and whether I was going to stay in Newcastle. I’d also seen a similar marketing and admin job for a music charity and a job doing admin in a school.’

As soon as Polly started at loveyourlarder.com, she was responsible for the PR, social media and copywriting for the organisation. This was a great opportunity for a freshfaced graduate and Polly was able to use the work experience she’d built up at The Courier, the BBC and other media organisations during

her degree, not to mention her blog, which she credits with helping her get a fantastic job opportunity as her soon-to-be boss had seen it.

‘Milkedteeth is mostly for fun,’ Polly explains, ‘but it’s a great idea as not only do you meet similar minded people it shows your commitment to writing.’ Not only that, milkedteeth offers some fantastic reviews and pictures of eateries around Newcastle as well as recipes which will ensure that you’ll never resort to beans, cheese and rice again.

So does Polly have any advice for those of us embarking on the job hunt this year? ‘Look everywhere!’

Polly is a great advocate of social media, she enthuses, ‘a friend just got an internship with Conde Nast (the publishing superpower!) after seeing a tweet about it.’ Polly also explained the importance of having a ‘concise CV’ and said to pay a visit to the Careers Service as they are very helpful on all matters related to job-hunting.

After speaking to Polly it seems the future may not be so bleak for us after all. If you get work experience, sort out your CV and apply for jobs that you really want, then you will �ind something great eventually – especially by using innovative ways to �ind jobs such as using Twitter and Facebook.

Check out Polly’s blog at milkedteeth.blogspot.com or what she does in her day-job at www.loveyourlarder.com

Career Crackers CV writing

Don’t just list all your jobs and experiences - put the most relevant experiences at the top.

Think about what your employer should know about you and what makes you right for the job.

Be concise and to the point. CVs are usually two pages long.

Spell out your achievements alongside your activities. Convince the reader of your skills!

Use consistent style and layout throughout.

Employers discard CVs that are unclear or full of spelling mistakes in no time.

For more CV advice and examples, go to www. ncl.ac.uk/careers/jobs/ applications/cvs Marleen van Os

35

Tribulations of a soonto-begraduate Lucy Alexander As a third-year student, you’d be forgiven for thinking that work takes priority in our lives, from September to that far distant fantasy land that they call ‘June’.

Everyone knows that our work is weighted more, and that a higher standard is expected of us. We’re supposed to trade cocktails for coffee, Tup Tup for the library, and sleep for that strange zombie-like state when we’ve looked at a computer/book for that little bit too long.

It has to be said, this shock to the system can feel horrendous. Especially at 9pm on a Sunday night, when you’re asked to leave the library for the �irst time in your academic career. Then it’s time to take a long hard look at what you’ve become (preferably with a glass of wine in hand and a short slap to the face).

No one can say we haven’t been warned about the insane work load and obligatory shift in priorities. I still think it’s perfectly acceptable to be dragged kicking and screaming for an evening session in the Robinson, as long as you keep the volume down (I mean we’re stressed students, not animals).

I’m digressing, (I’m very good at that these days). Whilst you’d be ‘forgiven’ for placing work at the top of your list, it’s not the case in reality.

Cue scary music, and someone turning the lights whilst placing a torch underneath their face: the curse of the grad-scheme is ever prevalent in the lives of us third-years.

The powers-that-be are no longer content with giving us more research to do than physically possible; now they are playing with us by making us feel unemployed before we even leave the cosy bubble that is higher education.

The mad scramble for internships and graduate schemes seem to be top of everyone’s conversational offerings, and if everyone has a certain amount of form-�illing in them, then I think us third-years have de�initely reached our quota.

And this stress is reserved only for those savvy students who know their next step post-bubble (or at least know what they would like to do). For those less lucky, aimlessly searching ‘Milkround’ or ‘TargetJobs’ has replaced Facebook as the new procrastination, and a struggle for last minute work experience has become the norm.

With all this going on, how are we supposed to be fully focused on our studies? The irony is that the more research you put into your post-graduate plans, the more likely it is that you’ll take your eye off the ball with your under-graduate work.

And as tempting as it is to stop writing your essay about duty in 18th Century society (as I am currently doing) in favour of re-checking your CV for the twentieth time, I would urge you all to remember what’s important this year. After all, that lucrative post-grad job offer will no doubt have some kind of academic conditions attached.

On a brighter note, there’s always the option of taking a year out to ‘recover’ from the stresses of academia?

Forget the above advice: when stressed, just google your favourite foreign country and let the mind wander...

Puzzles

36

THE COURIER Monday November 21 2011

You can find the answer s to this week’s pu thecou zzles at rieronli ne. co.uk/p uzzles

Sudoku

Crossword

Easy

Across

Medium

Down

thecourieronline.co.uk/puzzles c2.puzzles@ncl.ac.uk Puzzles Editor: Laura Armitage

1. Consigns (8) 4. Upkeep (4) 8. Majestic (5) 10. Young swans (7) 11. Svelte (7) 12. Short letter (4) 14. Musical interval of eight tones (6) 16. Plant fibre (6) 19. Long narrative poem (4) 21. Kind of nonfictional prose (7) 24. Nonattendance (7) 25. Sound (5) 26. Large woody plant (4) 27. Mental state induced by suggestion (8) 1. Ridicule (8) 2. Still legally acceptable (5) 3. An extreme attainment (6) 5. Alarm (5) 6. Facilitate (4) 7. Order of business (6) 9. Outstanding (5) 13. Famished (8) 15. Empty (6) 17. Confronted (5) 18. Seldom (6) 20. Ski run (5) 22. Public transport (5) 23. Immense (4)

f the ne o como e B o ord five t first e crossw n’s th Me plete nd into ree f ha and to win a r Ba meal!

Hard

Word Link

Find a word that connects the three words shown below

Dingbats ME ME ME AL AL AL

R K CLOCK O C

Brain Teaser Daniel, my son, is exactly one fifth of my age. In 21 years time, I will be exactly twice his age. My wife is exactly seven times older than my daughter, Jessica. In 8 years time, my wife will be three times older then Jessica. How old are Daniel and Jessica now?

Brain Teaser I have no legs or arms but I eat with a fork- what am I?

Fortune

Story

Bank

Brain

Length

Crime

Angel

Cake

Riddle Guardian

Duckett and Haye

Sport

37

THE COURIER Monday November 21 2011

Sport Editors: Colin Henrys, Harry Slavin and Rory Brigstock-Baron Online Sport Editor: Grace Harvey courier.sport@ncl.ac.uk

thecourieronline.co.uk/sport

Money makes the world go round

Inspired by Mike Ashley’s latest unpopular gesture towards the Newcastle United faithful, The Courier looks at the increasingly controversial role that af�luent businessmen play within the game today Lucy Williams

Sheikh Mansour, Manchester City’s owner, appears on a fake banknote.

Photo: Getty Images

Simon Scho�ield In the world of football Sepp Blatter might not be everybody’s cup of tea right now but he had this point to say when referring to sport tycoons; “The source of wealth is from individuals with little or no history of interest in the game, who have happened upon football as a means of serving some hidden agenda.” He has an argument, what is their ‘hidden agenda’? It’s simply to make money and run the football club as some sort of ‘business’. With this approach comes commercialisation, branding, revenues, costs and a whole list of other business related jargon to confuse and alienate fans who just want their team to compete and be successful.

The main issue I have with sport tycoons is that they more often than not hold no identi�ication with the club they possess and therefore very little understanding of the supporters. For a fan, their club is like a family relative, you go through thick and thin together. You and your club share a common goal of winning trophies, beating rivals and enjoying your Saturday afternoon whilst the tycoon has pound signs in his eyes every time the team scores a goal.

Football clubs, in my opinion, should be in the hands of fans because they are the people that know exactly what

they want in terms of performance and aspirations. English clubs should look to the example of Germany for inspiration where club members or supporters own at least 51% of their club. No decision can be made without them, so you could imagine that if this were the case across English football, Mike Ashley wouldn’t even dare utter the words SportsDirect Arena to any member inside the boardroom.

Most importantly, if this were the case, a tycoon wouldn’t be able to use the club to clear their own debts, as is effectively the case with Manchester United, the interests of the supporters would curtail the corporate interests.

This would save clubs from succumbing to fates similar to that of Leeds or Portsmouth, who found themselves in the compromising positions of administration and bankruptcy respectively. The German model has allowed the Bundesliga to have the highest attendances in Europe and among the lowest ticket prices. Borussia Dortmund fans boycotted an away match when tickets went on sale at only €22!

More importantly though, there have been �ive different winners of the German Championship in the last eight seasons, re�lecting a truly competitive league. Compare this to the English Premier League where one Man. City fan remarked that it would be boring if they won the league this year as the journey from being a mid-

table team to champions will have only lasted three seasons. I’m sure a Swansea fan would snap your hand off to see his team win a solitary title in his lifetime but even they must admit any victory to be slightly tainted if success came in the form of a multibillionaire sheep farmer.

It’s the kind of competition exempli�ied in the German Bundesliga that makes football so exciting. If it was only a question of being owned by an Arabian Sheik or Russian oligarch leagues and competitions would become stale and boring. It wouldn’t help matters if the Premier League was to scrap its relegation policy either due to the pressure from tycoons looking to protect their assets; relegation is a huge cost to incur for any team but why should those teams that are wealthiest be exempt from it?

Tycoons’ thirst for expansion away from the domestic market has allowed the far Eastern fan base to be exploited. The fact that a team like Man United got there �irst leaves no hope for a team like Nottingham Forest of emulating their exposure abroad and thus being able to match them �inancially. Tycoons are sucking the life out of football for their own endeavours, and do not realise just how much your team means to you. A fan lives off hope but teams that aren’t backed by the riches of a tycoon are losing faith in the game every time another team is taken over.

Mike Ashley’s decision to rebrand St James’ Park as Sports Direct Arena has sparked a huge furore amongst Newcastle United fans. Ashley’s most recent insensitive decision has reignited the debate on whether business tycoons should be allowed such control of the sporting world when their passions lie with generating money and not with the club they own.

Admittedly, changing a 119 year old name and tradition into a vehicle for company advertisement is not one of the sportswear magnate’s best or tasteful decisions, but the Toon Army are being very hasty and irrational in their hatred for him. Whether it is altitude sickness from being so unusually high in the league or simply a matter of pride and stubbornness, something has distorted their view of the events on and off the pitch at their club.

Like the colours they wear every Saturday afternoon, they tend to see everything as black or white, and Mike Ashley is de�initely on the ‘black’ list for a vast majority of the fan-base, yet they are choosing to stay blind to the many positives to have come out of Ashley’s presence. There was a mass backlash, similar to the one brewing now, against the owner when he sacked Chris Houghton and appointed Alan Pardew in his place, yet, as I write this, Newcastle are sitting pretty in third place in the table and are only one of two teams to remain unbeaten this season.

If that’s not a concrete vindication of Ashley’s controversial appointment then I don’t know what is. Ashley was also the engineer of Joey Barton and Ashley Carroll’s transfers away from

the club, which saw the removal of two controversial, strident characters and made way for better team unity and performance, not to mention a substantial payment that was well into the eight �igure bracket.

The sting of renaming St James’ Park should eventually subside, as realistically it will make no meaningful difference to the fans. It will still be the same place in their hearts and have the same passionate atmosphere as ever, yet to outsiders, Ashley is banking on stadium sponsors to now move in and offer Newcastle a generous cash injection that will ensure their current presence amongst the big boys in the Champions League places is not just a �leeting one.

We only have to look at the blue half of Manchester right now, �inally emerging out of its red shadow, to witness the bene�its of such cash injections. Since buying Manchester City in 2008, Sheikh Mansour has invested millions into the club and promised to turn City into a formidable side both in the Premier League and Europe; three years on, City are top of the league and competing in the Champions’ League group stages for the �irst time. It looks like money really does buy success after all.

The sports tycoons of today, such as Mansour and Ashley, have got to where they are in life because they think with their heads, not their hearts. It may not be the most romantic of views but in a sporting world fuelled by passion, a clear, rational head is needed. Newcastle fans may be bemoaning Ashley now, but he may just be steering the club to a level of football that will �inally match the club’s massive history and fan base.

Perhaps it is time for them to swallow their pride and let the road to success run its course.

Mike Ashley: Just when we thought he was getting better!

Photo: Getty Images

THE COURIER Monday November 21 2011

39

featuresport

Curtain falls on dramatic ATP season

Who will be the master? With the ATP season coming to a close, Owen Evans previews the �inal masters event of the year that will take place at London’s O2 Arena this coming week.

Every shriek of pain, each racket broken and the many tears shed in the 2011 tennis season will come to a spectacular crescendo this week, as the O2 Arena in London plays host to the ATP World Tour Finals.

The much anticipated event, which is held from the 20th until the 27th November, is a tournament between the top eight seeded men in both the singles and doubles event. The competition starts with a group stage, with the top two players from each group proceeding to the semi �inal stage. The �inal, which should be an epic encounter, will be held on Sunday.

Group A will consist of Novak Djokovic, Andy Murray, David Ferrer and Tomáš Berdych whilst Group B will enjoy the company of Roger Federer, Rafael Nadal, Jo-Wilfred Tsonga and Mardy Fish. Despite concerns regarding the �itness of the world’s top two players, both Djokovic and Nadal look set to shrug off shoulder injuries for this, the �inal curtain call.

If the pride of winning the coveted title is not enough, an early Christmas present of £2,227,500 will be awarded to the victor, and if the previous year is anything to go by, this tournament

should ensure the year ends with �ireworks.

The hero of the year undoubtedly has to be Novak Djokovic. Taking the Australian Open, US Open and Wimbledon titles this year, along with winning �ive of the nine ATP 1000 Masters tournaments, Djokovic has risen to world number one and looks like the new man to beat.

Rafael Nadal, despite having his n u m b e r one status ripped from him, still managed t o take home the French Open, and will be looking to end the year on the high. A man whose year is already ending on a high is Andy Murray, winning the Cincinnati Masters and Shanghai Masters to sneak above Roger Federer into third seed.

Whilst it would always be foolish to write last year’s champion Roger Federer off before any tournament, one may have been forgiven for doing so until a couple of weeks ago due to a somewhat disappointing season.

Back of the net Video of the week

The worlds top four who will be hoping to gain the applause this sunday.

Getty Images

However, with his victory in the Paris Masters last week, Federer looks to be in with a chance of winning the title for a record sixth time.

Although the other four seeded players have performed extremely well this season – especially Tsonga and Ferrer – it’s dif�icult to look past the top four, who have utterly domi-

nated the tennis scene this year.

In the doubles tournament, twin brothers Bob Bryan and Mike Bryon, who lifted both the Australian Open and Wimbledon title this year, look good for the title although Michael Llodra and Nenad Zimonjic may give them a run for their money.

With one match each day being

Tweet of the week

-@Sammi_Ameobi

“Weirdest dream last, from a night out with Frankie Cocozza to being chased by a baby tiger...apparently I was moaning in my sleep too #h”

Newcastle striker Sammy Ameobi gives us an insight in to his subconscience.

This video is notable for Wayne Rooney’s startling performance in the latest Casillero del Diablo advert in association with his club, Manchester United. Manchester United, the Red Devils, helping promote a red wine that in English would be called ‘Cellar of the Devil’, is an idea that, on paper, appears a match made in heaven.

Wayne’s piercing gaze towards the Old Trafford pitch is Oscar-worthy as is his delivery of the line ‘they say... he is a legend’ when referring to a bottle of a red wine.

Elsewhere, Patrice Evra’s bass tone suggests a career in voiceovers is a distinct possibility when the left-back hangs up his boots.

1.) Which footballer equalled the record for most international caps this month?

2.) Which country did Dwayne Leverock reoresent at the 2007 Cricket World Cup? 3.) Which country holds the record for most consecutive wins in rugby union?

4.) What is the highest squad number ever worn in a Premier League match?

5.) Who won the gold medal for Men’s Curling at the 2010 Winter Olympics?

1)Ahmed Hassan of Egypt; 2) Bermuda; 3) Lithuania (18 between 2006-2010; 4) 62 (Abdul Razak, Manchester City); 5) Canada

Manchester United’s Casillero del Diablo advert -http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q6MkmonoaSw

Testing times

This week in history

Nov 20 1969, World: Pele scores the 1000th goal of his football career.

Nov 21 1970, Intra Mural: Northumberland College beat Henderson Hall 2-1 to go top of the Saturday Division One. Nov 22 1959, World: First ever draft of the American Football league. NY Titans (later Jets) make the �irst pick (QB George Izzo) Nov 25 1998, BUCS: A hat-trick of tries from Jenny Donkin helped NWR to a 52-0 win against Leeds Met ‘in dismal conditions at Close House’.

broadcast on the BBC this week, any tennis fan would be mad not to tune in and watch a great end to a fantastic tennis season. As the competition at the top of the rankings has become more heated, it will be fascinating to see who takes the �inal prize, and will surely indicate who will be the one to watch in next years campaign.

Compiled by Charlie Scott

Birthday Week

24 Nov 1955- Sir Ian Botham ‘Beefy’, arguably England’s greatest ever cricketer is also famous for his charity work since retiring.

22 Nov 1987- Marouane Fellaini.

Undoubtedly the owner of the best head of hair in the Premier League 25 Nov 1914- Joe DiMaggio. former American baseball player DiMaggio remains the only player to be voted in the All Star team for each of the 13 seasons that he played.

The Longshot

Back Ben�ica 16/1 to beat Manchester United 1-0 at Old Trafford on Tuesday night.

Ben�ica are level on points with Manchester United in the group and have won both of their away games so far, scoring three and conceding none in the process, making them great value to sneak a 1-0 win at Old Trafford. (odds from William Hill)

16/1

40

THE COURIER Monday November 21 2011

sportIntraMural

Floodlit failure for Barca Incredible unbeaten run is ended as Medics revive title bid on the Longbenton 3G

Intra Mural Football Division Two (Weds) Barca Law Na

1

Newcastle Medics 1sts 4

Medics players shone under the floodlit conditions.

Photography: Sam Tyson

Charlie Scott at Longbenton 3G Medics sent out a �irm challenge to those in the top division holding title ambitions with a clinical performance in this game, particularly the �irst placed team they easily dispatched of today, Barca Law Na. A four goal blitz during a 30 minute spell in the �irst half allowed Medics to take full control of the game, and left their opponents shell-shocked.

Barca did improve in the second half but still struggled to break down an impressive Medics side, and managed to score just the one goal.

Yet again we saw television scheduling interfering with the beautiful game, this match being controversially moved to an 8pm evening kickoff to cater for the growing interest in intra mural football from viewers in the Far East, despite the two clubs involved expressing their bitter disappointment at having to postpone their pre-drinking evening plans ‘til a 10pm start at the very earliest.

The Barca right-back Olly Ingram aptly summed up his side’s performance in the opening 20 seconds, lunging in dangerously on Nathan Campbell after losing possession.

This frustration echoed throughout with Barca falling victim to a Medics onslaught during the next half an hour.

Medics drew �irst blood in this highly-charged clash with Chris Kay scoring the opener, �inishing expertly from 30 yards out after the Barca keeper Paul Wadhams had failed to

clear a through ball on the edge of the area. With space to set himself Kay was able to calmly lift the ball over the stranded Wadhams and into the back of the net.

A quick mention for the evergreen Steve Catchpole, who was at his controversial best refereeing on the luscious 3G this evening, making a series of baf�ling decisions throughout the game, much to the disgust of those on

the sidelines.

Kay was again on the scoresheet just minutes later, con�idently slotting home from six yards out after great play down the left-hand side from Matt Anderson and Kay’s strike partner Nathan Campbell, the latter providing the cross that found Kay in space at the back post.

Barca-Law-Na continued to struggle to replicate the passing game of

their much-admired namesakes and it was not long before they were three behind.

Before the game Medics manager Rishi Dhand had described �irst-year central mid�ielder Dave Edwards as ‘the leader of the golden generation coming through at the club, and it didn’t take long for Edwards to support this claim. Driving forward from mid�ield, the elegant Edwards glided

past a couple of Barca defenders before striking a rising effort from the edge of the box that crashed in off the bar.

A moment of outstanding technique/luck soon followed courtesy of Medics’ winger Joel English. The skilful winger cut inside onto his left foot before letting �ly with a hugely ambitious cross/shot from full on 35 yards that found its way into the top left-hand corner of the net.

Following this effort, his teammates and manager on the sidelines began urging him to ‘cross at any opportunity’, suggesting that English hadn’t meant to score from 35 yards, a suggestion he �lat out denied on the �inal whistle, the winger going so far as to claim he ‘picked out the top corner’ with his speculative strike on the half hour mark.

After going four goals down in less than 30 minutes Barca �inally began to shift into gear, grabbing a goal back before half-time through Chris McKee, who forced a header home from 6 yards after getting on the end of Josh Cryer’s in-swinging free-kick.

The balance of play began to shift in the second half as Barca looked to �ind a way back into game, yet despite creating a series of chances, they failed to add to their solitary goal in the �irst half, with strikers Jamie Hurworth and Chris McKee cutting increasingly isolated �igures up front.

With the game effectively won in the �irst half, Medics were able to ease off the gas in the second half, removing their hugely impressive mid�ield pairing of Daniel Parkinson and Dave Edwards with still half an hour left on the clock.

Dhand spoke to The Courier after the game and expressed his pleasure at getting one over their rivals, whilst also ‘sending out a challenge, and a performance that showed they would not be giving up their title easily’. Despite this comfortable win Medics remain four points behind the lawyers, but they do still have a game in hand.

Ferry takes Senseless into third

Shagther stretch unbeaten run to three matches as Combined Honours beaten Intra Mural Football Division Three (Weds) Shagther Senseless

4

Combined Honours

2

Robbie Cachia at Close House Backing up his Man of the Match performance last week with another outstanding performance, Declan Ferry’s second half brace proved to be the difference in an action packed match �illed with chances.

Having conceded a late goal last week against Brown Magic, it was important that Senseless picked up maximum points as they attempted to climb back up the Division Three

table. They started at a quick pace, playing some nice football controlling the mid�ield with some neat passes, Ferry looking dangerous on the left �lank. Their pressure gained swift dividends thanks to a controversial free kick on the edge of the area. Having judged the keeper to leave the box as he punted the ball from hand, the referee awarded a foul and Sam Garrood took full advantage, showing his quality with a curling effort into the bottom corner that �lew past a the questionable Combined Honours wall.

However Shagther began to become complacent, sloppy passes in the middle of the park and over the top �licks and tricks when the simple passes were on. Combined honours grew into the game and the inevitable equaliser materialised after a mistake from the skipper who misjudged the �light of the ball as their striker capitalised, neatly �inishing past the on rushing Lamont in goal. The referee again in controversy, blew his whistle to award a free kick before watching

the ball hit the net and then deciding to award the goal.

Shagther picked up the tempo before the end of the �irst half, squandering countless chances, Pat Woods squandering the best chance when denied by the keeper while Garrood was also failed to restore Shagther’s lead, the ref judging the ball not have crossed the line after his effort. Calls for goal line technology came from the frustrated fan on the sideline and with incidents deciding games as important as this Sepp Blatter must take action soon.

The second half was much of the same, Shagther pressing to take the lead, Woods putting the ball into the net, only for the referee to disallow the goal, another interesting decision.

For all their pressure Shagther could not �ind their second goal and inevitably, with one of their only attacks in the half, Combined Honours scored to take a surprising lead. Left back Pugh missed a clearance that rebounded off the Honours right mid�ielder straight

to their striker who was foiled by a superb double save by Lamont before Cachia cleared behind for a corner.

It was from the resulting corner that Honours took the lead, the ball going in straight from the corner, a left footed in-swinger into the top of the net.

This seemed to wake up Shagther who came out all guns blazing from the kick off and two minutes later it was all square, Montgomery whipping the ball into the box for Ferry to head it off the bar, before falling back to him to head home at the second attempt. Chances came frequently as Shagther chased a winner, Grosvenor missing countless chances.

Ferry got his second and Shagther’s third ten minutes later, impact sub McClune driving the ball into the box which fell to Montgomery, his lay back �inding Ferry who provided a classy �inish from the edge of the box. Ferry now has three goals in two games this month and with two Man of the Match performances to coincide, the boy is really showing his class in front

of goal.

Shagther rounded up their win ten minutes before time, Ferry’s low driven shot could be only be parried by the Honours keeper before Grovesnor tapped in, making up for his earlier misses to bag his second of the season. With eight minutes to go frustrated sub Neal Hajim came on and the young Israeli striker looked sharp, moving well off the ball. When his chance came he unsel�ishly opted to pass than shoot and the play broke down but his cameo certainly caught the eye of the manager.

Shagther ran out convincing winners with a resounding victory where they could have scored more. They will have to be clinical next week in the eagerly anticipated match against second in the table Politic Thistle, a match that will be a much better measure of how far Shagther have come.

For Combined Honours, they stay second bottom of the league with a just a solitary win to their name.

41

THE COURIER Monday November 21 2011

Heavy Dyslexic defeat spells more trouble for Aftermath Intra Mural Football Division Two (Weds) Aftermath

0

Dyslexic Untied

7

Simon Scho�ield at Longbenton Dyslexic Untied dished up a 7-0 goal glut against Aftermath at Longbenton to record their second win of the season. With attacking verve and a steadfast defence the Reds didn’t let up from �irst minute to last. Captain for the day Chris Smith headed the �irst and the one way traf�ic continued with a further �ive different other scorers.

Dyslexic were quick out of the blocks and their rampant start was rewarded with a goal in the tenth minute by Smith who nodded in a Freddie Rose free kick at the far post to register his �irst goal of the season.

Man of the match Rose was to assist in all but one goal as his wand of a left boot caused problems all day for the Aftermath defence. The onslaught continued with a clever Ben Wheelhouse �inish after being put through in goal by Dom Robson. Wheelhouse calmly lobbed the ball over the onrushing keeper to simply pass the ball into the net for 2-0.

The �irst half partnership of fresh-

Aftermath’s Pete Hodgson gets stuck in.

Photography: Sam Tyson

ers Wheelhouse and Robson looked a promising one with both constantly causing problems with their pace and power. With the return of captain ‘Torres’ Windle to come it will be a selection headache for manager Laurence Jackson trying to accommodate both of the burgeoning pair.

Aftermath �ired a warning shot of their own soon after going two down, good work by left mid�ielder Pete Hodgson allowed him space to cross for Dave Eccles only for the striker to see his effort go wide of the mark.

Eccles had another chance after a hideous bounce over Reds defender

Adam Forster put the striker through one on one however keeper Nathan ‘Fletch’ was alert to the danger, making his one noticeable save of the day.

Mancunian Robson was next on the score sheet with another far post header after a delicious diagonal ball from Rose. Rose looked to add new burst of acceleration and trickery to go with his dangerous set pieces, making him an invaluable member of the team for the season. Robson should have scored again with Wheelhouse also guilty of missing chances.

Another two goals were added before half time with Rose racking up his

assists by delivering an in-swinging corner for the industrial Ian ‘Dave’ Davidson to head in. Aftermath didn’t learn their lesson with ‘Dave’ Davidson heading in again for an almost carbon copy of his previous goal to make it 5-0.

After the break a professional rear guard performance from Untied marshalled by the excellent Smith didn’t allow Aftermath any chances.

Aftermath keeper Dan Turner was a one man barrier keeping the score below double �igures by keeping out Simon Scho�ield and a rampaging Forster. Changes up front brought a more controlled second half, Economists Scho�ield and Jackson used the ball ef�iciently in the middle coupled with wide attacking play so that there were more goals to come. Aftermath, getting more and more desperate, continued to gamble and press forward to no avail. However it was to be Intra Mural journeyman Otto Thoresen who added the sixth when Rose’s ball luckily found the substitute who blasted the ball in from close range, the shot taking a de�lection off defender Liam ‘Phil Jones’ Jordan. Scho�ield wrapped up proceedings with a well taken �inish after receiving another killer ball from Rose. Captain Pete Watts summed up Aftermath’s downfall with the comment “too many stupid mistakes….every week.”

There will be sterner tests ahead for Dyslexic who set their sights on closing the gap with Barca Law Na, whom they are yet to meet.

Boca blown over by Hurricanes Cup defeat avenged as Seniors suffer �ifth consecutive league loss Intra Mural Football Division Two (Weds) The Hurricanes

4

Boca Seniors

1

Harry Slavin at Close House After being unceremoniously dumped out of the cup by Boca earlier in the month, The Hurricanes turned up at Close House on Wednesday afternoon with the sole aim of burying the ghost of their �irst round exit. Boca had handed out a 5-1 thumping to Hurricanes that day and Nick Gibby and his team sought retribution in the form of a con�ident performance and three points. What Gibby saw from his men will not have disappointed him.

From kick-off The Hurricanes looked more up for it than their lethargic rivals, in form striker Chris McCrory �iring an early warning shot just past the post. Chances began to appear in abundance for the side in blue and white but much to their frustration they were failing to make them count. Wingers Harry Slavin and Andy Thomas began to drive forward and �ind space for themselves but both failed to �ind the net with decent efforts, Boca’s stand in ‘keeper

Myles Grif�in proving himself to be more than up to the task in the opening quarter.

The Hurricanes constant pressure eventually told mid-way through the half thanks to Adam Duckworth’s somewhat fortuitous goal. Nick Gibby played through Chris McCrory down the left hand �lank and his precise cut back landed at the feet of Hurricanes top scorer. Despite Duckworth’s calamitous �irst attempt, �luf�ing his lines and falling on his backside as the ball got caught under his feet, the front man got a second bite at the cherry and from his position on the �loor he was able to guide a lofted effort past a �lailing goalkeeper to give his side the lead.

This acted as an effective, if only brief, wake-up call for Boca and captain Charlie Rowley began to pull the strings in mid�ield as his squad began to get the ball down and �inally cause The Hurricanes defence trouble. It was Rowley’s through ball that led to Boca’s lifeline as his pass sent striker Morgan Richardson clear on goal.

He was met by Hurricanes debutant keeper Will Hollis and as the pair came together, Hollis was adjudged to have fouled the striker, allowing Richardson the opportunity to brush himself down and leave the keeper rooted as his well placed penalty found the bottom corner.

Parity between the two teams was short lived however and it was the

unlikely �igure of centre back Aaron Smedley that restored Hurricanes lead. Stemming from a Boca corner, Smedley burst up the pitch to support his side’s two strikers and when the pair of them conspired to waste a glorious opportunity, the Turkish centreback was on hand to tuck home the rebound for his �irst ever Hurricanes goal, and hopefully his last if his celebration was anything to go by.

The game as a contest was effectively ended just before half time, but unfortunately not by a third Hurricanes goal. A corner from Nick Gibby wasn’t dealt with properly and as Mark Smith lined up his shot, a robust challenge by Charlie Rowley saw both players lying in a crumpled heap in the penalty area. Rowley was unable to continue after aggravating a recurring knee injury, reducing his team to ten men for the remainder of the encounter due to Boca’s lack of substitutes. While sympathy was obviously due to the Boca captain, The Hurricanes resumed in disbelief as the referee gave a drop ball instead off the apparent stonewall penalty.

The injury unfortunately took the wind out of Boca’s sails, although these set of sails admittedly weren’t particularly big in the �irst place. The second half began to appear as more of a training match for the Hurricanes side, although on the look of things they are in need of plenty more training sessions. Winger Harry Slavin was

unable to continue after 55 minutes, removed from the �ield of play with what were later described as ‘breathing dif�iculties’. His replacement fared little better however as ‘super-sub’ Joe Moffat went to ground later on, the self- professed reem signing succumbing to cramp after just 35 minutes on the �ield.

The Hurricanes made the game safe in the second half thanks to goals from their second half front pairing of McCrory and Thomas. McCrory pounced on a loose ball in the box after a desperate scramble and Andy Thomas rounded off the resounding victory, �inishing under the keeper after a great through ball from Gibby.

There was still time for ‘wee fat right back’ Chris Adams’ to hail forward and miss two glorious chances, while the showboating of ‘wind-up merchant’ Eddie King lead to some questionable challenges from the frustrated Boca defence – the mid�ielder lucky not to join Slavin and Moffat on the treatment table.

The result will have been a welcome one for The Hurricanes as they were able to put behind their cup disappointment and can now look to concentrate on a possible promotion tilt.

Boca however will be left to re�lect on another miserable result and with only one win to show from their matches so far this season, Rowley and his team must be left wondering when their luck is going to turn.

IntraMuralsport

The Secret Intra Mural Footballer #6 Wind-up Merchants

At the time of writing the Liverpool striker Luis Suarez has just been charged with racially abusing Patrice Evra, of Manchester United, during their 1-1 draw in October. Minutes beforehand Sepp Blatter had unbelievably said in an interview that the players who racially abuse, and those who are the victims of racial abuse, should shake hands at the end of the game... FIFA are clearly doing everything they can to uphold their reputation of being an absolute farce.

Thankfully racism doesn’t occur in Newcastle Intra Mural football, and rightly so; it has no place in either football, or society, and the FAs handling of the Suarez situation is one that must be roundly supported.

In Intra Mural football there is trash-talking however, with some colourful expletives more often than not thrown into the sometimes incredibly weak insults, as if to somehow support or emphasise their already faltering attempts at intimidation.

Personally, and this is quite embarrassing to admit, I am a massive fan of shouting ‘all day long’ after successfully winning a challenge or forcing an error from a member of the opposition team. It is not really because I think it is clever or funny, in fact it is pretty ridiculous, but there is no denying it grates with those it is aimed at. I’ve been in situations that have nearly descended into �ights because of a casual ‘all day long’ in the ear of a burly central mid�ielder. Once the commotion has died down, the player is often so wound up he loses concentration on the actual game, and in that particular match, my side went on to win 2-0.

Elsewhere on the pitch there are a host of other opportunities to wind up the opposition, it seems the break in play before a set-piece being a particularly favourite of intra mural players. I’ve been the victim of arsegrabs, accusations of batting for the wrong side (to which I not-so-brilliantly replied ‘we’re playing football not cricket mate’), and claims that my mum was in Newcastle the night before... even though I know for a fact she wasn’t.

In our last game, a team-mate of mine had a course-mate playing for the opposition, and the two of us even discussed before the game ways of winding up the boy from his course.

Trash-talking is part and parcel of the game, from Intra Mural to professional level.

Racism is not, and the sooner it is eradicated from the game the better.

42

THE COURIER Monday November 21 2011

sportIntraMural

Batham no match for Medics supermen

Table-toppers increase their lead of the second tier with resounding victory over Ecosoccer

Intra Mural Football Division Two (Weds)

Newcastle Medics 2nds 4 Ecosoccer

2

Rob Stacey at Cochrane Park Medics 2s emerged victorious as they overcame Ecosoccer at Cochrane Park in what had been billed as an early season title decider for the two pace setters of Division Two. Ecosoccer enjoyed plenty of possession in the early stages, �inding themselves a lot of room within the Medics’ half, however it was the Medics who drew �irst blood. After soaking up the early pressure, a Medics free kick was swung in from the left and it found its way to the back post, via a �lick on, where centre back Sid Parker was lurking to poke the ball home for his �irst ever goal in a Medics 2s shirt. Spurred on from going behind, a sustained period of pressure from Ecosoccer followed, and their persistence paid off as Josh Batham’s �lick on found Zack Goddard, the striker then turning his defender and rounding the keeper to put the ball in from an acute angle and level the scores.

The revitalised Ecosoccer team attempted to take the game to the Med-

The Medics players celebrate their third goal Photography: Moises Bedrossian

ics, but the Medics caught Ecosoccer off and restored their lead as lively winger Guy Hindley’s speculative shot found its way in off the post, despite the best efforts of the Ecosoccer

defence to scramble it off the line.

Maybe the Eco boys had been administered with anaesthetics as the Medics carved open the Eco defence once again, a raking 50 yard ball into the

box was squared back across goal for Jamie Pav to put home the easiest of chances to put the Medics 3-1 up.

Jamie Redknapp and co in the studio could be heard saying the next

goal would be vital in the outcome of the game and it was the Medics who had tuned in as they used their aerial prowess to increase their advantage.

An inswinging corner from the left caused mayhem in the box and after numerous attempts to clear the danger failed, the loose ball sat up kindly for front man Chris Holt who volleyed ruthlessly into the net, widening the gap to 4-1. However, if one of the Medics had a heart rate monitor on them, the images would of shown steep upward lines for the last quarter of the match. In similar fashion to their �irst goal, it was the turn of Ecosoccer striker Goddard to turn provider for Batham, who ran onto a �lick on to place his shot past the advancing keeper, giving Ecosoccer a glimmer of hope.

However this was as good as it got for Ecosoccer as the Medics centre back pairing chewed up any attempts of a �ight back as the league’s tightest defence dealt with anything that came there way. Even if the sides were still playing now it’s unlikely another goal would have come about.

The Medics could have even extended their lead late on as Guy Hindley cut in from the left with another mazy run to hit the outside of the post with his effort. However I’m sure his teammates wouldn’t have minded as the referee called a halt to proceedings, leaving the Medics as clear front runners in the title race and leaving Ecosoccer in a double dip recession with their second successive defeat.

Larrikins and Titans secure wins Intra Mural Rugby Union Larrikins Cheeky Ladies

Intra Mural Rugby Union is now well under way again.

Photography: Courier Sport

23 20

Luke Seaman at Close House With each side having suffered a string of disappointing defeats, this was a must win game at Close House for Larrikins and Cheeky Ladies.

Despite a solid Larrikins start, it was Cheeky Ladies who dominated the score board in the �irst 40 minutes; with two break away tries taking them 12-0 up at half-time.

Determined not to face further defeat however the Larrikins rallied after the break, boosted by the introduction of some fresh players that they hoped would step up the side’s attacking prowess.

Cheeky Ladies extended their lead however with a penalty but the Larrikins fresh impetus began to show through. A fantastic 40-yard run run from inside centre Alex Heyes provided his side with some much needed points, and the successful conversion took the score to 15-7.

Sensing that the match was back within their reach, the Larrikins raised their game further and midway through the half they reduced the deficit further after a sustained period of attacking play. Larrikins hooker Chris Thompson was the ultimate bene�iciary, completing a well-worked try.

With Cheeky Ladies unable to cope with the pressure, Larrikins then took the lead for the �irst time in the match.

Fly-half Patrick Reade returned from an injury to convert a penalty and put his side on top.

Cheeky Ladies were not beaten yet however, and were stirred back into life, regaining their lead with a late try to take the score to 20-17. To some observers it looked as though it would be enough to win the game for the Ladies, but Reade had other ideas.

Indiscipline cost the Ladies dearly however, as they conceded a pen-

alty with less than �ive minutes to go.

Reade converted it to bring the scores level.

It was not over there either, an impressive display of phase rugby from the Larrikins allowed Reade to receive the ball in the slot. His drop goal sailed between the posts to put his side into the lead, and after withstanding a tense 30 seconds from there on, the �inal whistle con�irmed the Larrikins incredible comeback

Titans Agrics

25 8

Robert Corner at Close House With the return of the “enforcers” into the pack, and Intra Mural most handsome bachelor at fullback, the Titans looked to build on the lack luster performance of the previous week.

Although the Agrics 1s were deplet-

ed in numbers, missing their hooker, which proved to be a major issue with set piece being anything but certain, their resilience supported their position within the league standings.

The �irst points were produced off the boot of Agrics �lyhalf, whose sensible kicking kept the Titans under constant pressure. The Titans composed themselves and a series of powerful forward drives orchestrated

by Dicko uncorked the Moet, providing the free �lowing champagne rugby of Titans rugby to ensue.

The distinctly average play of Cunningham, Titans’ most unwilling tackler led to a series of tries combing power and pace putting Spurrier and Joey on the score sheet. Try of the day came from Alex Mcfetrich, whose ambition to score on debut was up to the challenge of dragging the Agrics’ backline over the tryline. Fagan, who handled the pressure put on him all day as a result of some questionable distribution cleanly converted a touchline hugging kick.

Injuries forced Agrics to reorganise, with the surprising choice to move Manion into the centres to the dismay and bemusement of many of his teammates. However the Agrics, to their credit, were rewarded with a try at the end, which produced the fair score of 25-8 at match closure.

The Titans now travel to Poland for a week of training, in preparation for the most anticipated �ixture in the 2011/12 calendar, where Armstrong must remain headstrong to shatter the Titans’ two year winning streak.

43

THE COURIER Monday November 21 2011

IntraMuralsport

Football Wednesday 11-a-side

Intra Mural Netball round-up

Netball 4pm-5pm

Team

Pld

W

D

L

F

A

Pts

1

Uni Hockey

Intra Mural W D L F A <<<<>>> round-up 5 4 0 1 79 28

1

Barca Law Na

5

4

0

1

23

4

12

2

Net Assets

5

4

0

1

73

44

16

2

Henderson Hall

5

3

0

2

13

11

9

3

Biology Netball

5

3

1

1

51

50

14

3

Newcastle Medics 1sts

4

2

2

0

14

4

8

4

Leazes Ladies

5

3

0

2

52

56

12

4

Dyslexic Untied

4

2

1

1

12

4

7

5

Mansoc

5

2

1

2

44

41

10

Agrics B

5

1

2

2

55

51

8

Division 1

Team

Pld

Pts 16

5

Crayola

5

2

0

3

5

10

6

6

6

Aftermath

5

1

0

4

3

26

3

7

CHS

5

1

0

4

50

69

4

1

8

RRB1

5

0

0

5

6

71

0

7

Castle Leazes

4

Barca Law Na Newcastle Medics 1sts

1 4

Dyslexic Untied Aftermath

7 0

Henderson Hall Crayola

4 0

0

1

3

5

16

Top Goalscorers 7: Jamie Hurworth (Barca) 6: Chris McKee (Barca) 5: Dave Edwards (Medics) 4: Chris Kay (Medics) 3: Dave Eccles (Aftermath)

Agrics B Mansoc

10 10

Leazes Ladies RRB1

8 3

CHS Uni Hockey

6 22

Net Assets Biology Netball

7 18

5pm-6pm

Division 2

Team

Pld

W

D

L

F

A

Pts

1

Netball Ninjas

5

5

0

0

69

40

20

2

Agrics

5

4

0

1

86

28

16

Team

Pld

W

D

L

F

A

Pts

1

Newcastle Medics 2nds

6

5

1

0

18

5

16

3

CHS

5

3

0

2

64

43

12

2

Boroussia Forsyth

6

4

0

2

14

11

12

4

Polly’s Dollies

5

3

0

2

56

44

12

3

Lokomotiv

5

3

1

1

23

16

10

5

Chem Eng

5

3

0

2

43

37

12

4

Ecosoccer

5

2

1

1

24

15

9

6

NUSSC

5

2

0

3

41

39

8

5

The Hurricanes

5

1

1

2

19

15

7

7

The History Girls

5

0

0

5

16

71

0

6

Newhist FC

5

1

1

2

9

20

4

8

Architects

5

0

0

5

5

78

0

7

Boca Seniors

6

1

0

4

13

22

3

8

Ar U Shavin A Laugh

6

1

0

4

10

26

3

Boroussia Forsyth Newhist FC

2 0

The Hurricanes Boca Seniors

Lokomotiv Ar U Shavin A Laugh

4 3

Top Goalscorers

4 1

10: Josh Batham (Ecosoccer) 9: Zack Goddard (Ecosoccer) 7: Adam Duckworth (H’canes) 6: Chris McCrory (H’canes) 6: Archie Norman (Forsyth)

Newcastle Medics 2nds 4 2 Ecosoccer

Division 3

Architects NUSSC

0 15

CHS Polly’s Dollies

14 17

Chem Eng Agrics

7 19

Netball Ninjas The History Girls

18 3

Intra Mural Rugby round-up

Rugby Union Division 1 Team

Pld

W

D

L

F

A

Pts

1

Armstrong

5

5

0

0

246

3

25

2

Titans

5

5

0

0

147

37

21

Team

Pld

W

D

L

F

A

Pts

3

Southern Fairies

5

3

0

2

147

72

16

1

Roman Villa FC

5

5

0

0

21

4

15

4

Agrics 1

5

3

1

1

89

11

15

2

Politic Thistle

5

4

0

1

16

12

12

5

Engines

4

2

0

2

61

57

9

3

Shagther Senseless

6

3

1

2

11

8

10

6

Larrikins

5

2

0

3

62

95

9

4

NCL Galacticos

5

3

0

2

12

17

9

7

Cheeky Ladies

5

1

1

3

88

135

8

5

Brown Magic FC

5

2

1

2

17

7

7

8

Agrics 2

4

1

0

3

18

144

4

6

Jesmondino FC

5

2

0

3

10

12

6

9

Medics

3

0

0

3

12

142

0

7

Combined Honours

6

1

0

5

10

19

3

10

Uni Freshers

5

0

0

5

34

191

0

8

Newcastle Dynamos

5

0

0

5

5

23

0

Combined Honours Shagther Senseless

2 4

Jesmondino FC Politic Thistle

2 4

NCL Galacticos Newcastle Dynamos

P P

Roman Villa FC Brown Magic FC

2 1

Top Goalscorers 8: James Dunn (P Thistle) 7: Ollie Griffiths (Roman Villa) 6: Lewis Cockerill (B Magic) 5: Rob Grady (Roman Villa) 4: Duke U Ata (Galacticos)

Armstrong New Uni Freshers Larrikins Cheeky Ladies

There is now only one unbeaten team left in the Tuesday league competition after Net Assets lost 18-7 to Biology Netball on Tuesday, and in doing so saw them lose their 100% record.

Netball Ninjas of the 5pm-6pm league are now the only team who can still boast of such a record after they saw off The History Girls 18-3.

That win sees them sitting four points clear of second-placed Agrics who beat Chem Eng 19-7, a result that has left the Meng level on points with CHS and Polly’s Dollies in mid-table.

The Dollies put in a �iercely competitive performance against CHS to win 17-14.

In the 4pm-5pm league, Net Assets defeat means that they lost top spot to Uni Hockey. The latter had a fantastic second-half performance to thank for their victory over CHS, as despite being just one goal ahead at the halfway point, they stormed to a 22-6 win against the Combined Honours girls.

Elsewhere a tense affair between Agrics B and Mansoc ended with the scores level at 10 each. This was the Agrics second tied match of the season and must leave them wondering where they would be if only they had scored one more goal on each of those occasions. With the four extra points they could have been fourth but instead �ind themselves stuck in the bottom half of the league.

Finally RRB1 put in a much improved performance, narrowly losing 8-3 to Leazes Ladies. Despite being bottom of the league they refute any claims that their season has been ‘miserable’ however, stating that their main aims in playing are to have fun and get �it.

While RRB1 recommend one end of the Intra Mural spectrum however, the girls at the top of the table are most certainly ‘in it to win it’ and when Uni Hockey and Net Assets meet this week it will surely be a hard-fought contest.

57 3 23 20

Southern Fairies Agrics 2 Titans Agrics 1

57 5 25 8

The Courier Online Check out www.thecourieronline.co.uk every week for up-todate league tables, exclusive match reports and round-up’s of all of the University’s Intra Mural competitions.

When a team concedes a solitary three points and it is still considered to be a surprise result, it is obvious just how well that team is playing.

That was exactly what happened this week as runaway leaders Armstrong this week, as New Uni Freshers became the �irst team to score any points past them this season.

They did however concede 57 in return as Armstrong recorded their �ifth consecutive bonus point win of the season.

Their next opponents however are also unbeaten, not just this year but last year too. Titans amazing run of form has seen them lift two cups and one league title in that time, with a 25-8 victory against Agrics 1 their latest success. Only bonus points separate the two teams at the top of the table.

Southern Fairies now sit in third place but they trail Titans by �ive points already and Armstrong by a further four. Their 57-5 victory last week against Agrics 2 keeps them in contention at the top of the table however.

One team not in title contention however are the previously well-fancied Cheeky Ladies. A late Larrikins drop goal saw them suffer their third defeat in �ive matches and they now lie in seventh place, looking just a shadow of the team that stormed to the title two years ago.

44

THE COURIER Monday November 21 2011

sportBUCS

Double success for Blades Fencing

York 2nds Newcastle 1sts

106 133

Dan Grant and James Docherty This week Newcastle Blades 1sts had their second away match of the season. Unfortunately this meant travelling to the waste lands of Yorkshire.

The team turned up for a united breakfast, the team captain absent due to prior engagements (lad). Geordie Craig and his bus entertained us with stories of his taxi driving – mainly beating up freshers.

We arrived to a comedy of errors; having been dumped on the city limits and directed to ‘gan doon there ye canna miss it man’, we found half of their team in what can loosely be described as a refrigerated tent, with temperatures reaching as low as -20C (unconfirmed). York failed to provide any equipment, players or competence. Despite the distraction of being flanked by two netball matches, we managed to turn our attention to the task in hand. Andrew ‘Dixy Chick’ Dixon was still half asleep when he stumbled onto the piste and got the team off to a sluggish start. Epée progressed in similar fashion, but once the symptoms of frostbite had been removed, Captain Dan ‘rude not to’ Grant picked up the pace, establishing the lead.

Foil saw a valiant effort from Grant ‘babyface’ Turnbull, who gnattered his way indecipherably through a couple of victories, and Rob ‘Happy Feet’ Walker who confused the opposition with a preview of the outrageous shapes he would be throwing in Tiger later that evening. This did the trick; the opposition were left bewildered, defeated, and maybe a little turned on.

Sabre was last. Technical work from Dixon and Tom ‘Powerhouse’ Patterson compounded the victory and saw Newcastle defeat York ‘amateur hour’ 2nds through professionalism, valour and integrity.

Newcastle 2nds Bradford 1sts

127 108

Having learnt from their narrow loss against Hull, the 2nds hoped to get back to thier winning ways with victory over Bradford. Having lost the toss, Bradford’s weapon order gave Newcastle a good idea of where strengths lay in the visiting team. These were evident in Foil, where despite strong fencing from Alex Walchester and Dave Mallinson, Bradford narrowly won 45-39.

Newcastle’s strength in recent years has been its Sabre squad – this was again evident, with Jimmy Mullen, John Land and Captain Peter Stalley continually taking advantage of Bradford’s unfamiliarity with the weapons convention, running out convincing winners 45-18.

This left 25 points needed in Epee to take the match. While this sounded easy, Bradford attempted to minimise scoring, with several bouts running to time. However, thanks to some welltimed counter-attacks from George Flewitt and debutant Anton Chan, Newcastle breathed a sigh of relief as the target passed and the points became theirs.

Joy of six for free-scoring Royals

Men’s Firsts record third straight league win with rout of UCLAN Men’s Football Newcastle 1sts UCLAN 1sts

6 0

Nick Gabriel at Longbenton 3G Last Wednesday, Newcastle’s Mens’ Football 1sts continued their impressive run of form in the BUCS league by crushing Central Lancashire Uni 6-0 on the Longbenton 3G. Striker Ed Savitt opened the scoring, before fellow forward Tom Stapleton and winger Dan Clements made it three before half-time. Clements grabbed himself a second soon after the break before goals from Paddy Stockie and the impressive Henry Scutt completed the rout late on.

The two sides went into the game boasting identical records in the BUCS League so far this season, with two wins and a loss coming in each of the team’s opening three games. As such, one could be forgiven for expecting a relatively tense, closely fought affair.

Indeed, it was the away outfit that started by far brighter, with ‘keeper Weston Murau forced into action twice within a matter of early first half minutes to keep the scores level.

However, this 15-minute period of domination for the UCLAN side turned out to be an anomaly in a match that the Royals would go on to be in complete control of. Once they got going, they never looked back.

The opening goal came after a mazy run from Scutt was brought to an abrupt end following a cynical challenge from a frustrated UCLAN defender. The resulting free kick saw Savitt bend the ball around the poorly positioned wall, sneaking it just inside the ‘keeper’s near post.

The home side doubled their advantage soon after. This time, a lofted

Goalkeeper Weston Murau celebrates Newcastle’s big win Photography: Sam Tyson

through ball from Tom Smith was well controlled by the onrushing Clements. The pacey winger then proceeded to round the hapless keeper and roll the ball home.

Although UCLAN dominated possession in the period that followed, an extremely resolute and organized Newcastle defence limited the away side to hopeful, long-range potshots that Murau was able to deal with

comfortably.

The away side were then made to pay for failing to make their period of dominance count when the Royals made it three on the stroke of halftime. On this occasion, it was Scutt who stole the ball off the left back’s toes deep in the opposition half, before leaving the covering defender for dead. He went on to deliver a tantalizing ball across goal that was bundled

in at the far post by Stapleton.

The second half continued much in the same vein as the first. With such a commanding lead, the Royals were more than happy to let UCLAN have possession in their own half, before eventually seizing the opportunity to apply pressure on the ball, steal possession and spring a counter attack of their own.

Mid-way through the second half this tactic was rewarded when Clements made it four. This time it was a ball through from centre-midfielder Josh Davison that was coolly slotted home by the wide man to notch his second of the game.

A fifth was added five minutes later as a looping free-kick 35 yards out from Stockie dipped just under the away side’s crossbar. Despite suspicions on the sideline that it was meant as a cross, in Ronaldinho circa 2002 fashion, the fullback was quick to claim that the effort was intentional.

UCLAN’s misery was eventually compounded when Scutt rounded off a superb solo performance by tapping in after a corner lead to a goalmouth scramble.

Speaking after the game, coach Mark Woodhall was, unsurprisingly, extremely complimentary of his team’s performance. “I thought we were absolutely superb out there today”, Woodhall enthused. “The lads showed first-class attitudes and a tremendous work rate.”

He then went on to note the importance of the result in terms of the effect it has on the Royals’ goal difference. “In truth, it could have been eight or nine, but I suppose we’ll have to settle for six,” he chuckled. “It’s important that we maintain this ruthless quality, as goal difference could certainly prove to be a factor in our push [for the title].”

Knights put Teesside to the sword

Newcastle beat local rivals in hard-fought match to record back-to-back home wins Men’s Basketball Newcastle 1sts Teesside 1sts

68 61

Grace Harvey at The Sports Centre Following Newcastle’s heated match against Manchester Met, the Knights certainly were prepared to fight tooth and nail against Teesside’s 1sts last week at the Sports Centre. From start to finish, the match was a nail biting spectacle and possibly one of the most intense games of university sports ever witnessed, resulting in a close 68-61 Newcastle victory.

While Newcastle managed to gain immediate possession, they were quickly forced into defence and despite their early attempts to protect the net, Teesside claimed the first points of the game. Newcastle hit back immediately, however, when Andrew Ply sunk a clean two-pointer.

Teesside seemed keen to set the standard, and between fast paces and aggressive offence were at times difficult to break. However, the attacks made by Ply, combined with Giannis Giokaris and the phenomenal support of Hii Yii effortlessly gave the

team a further eight points.

For the most part, the opening played like a game of tennis; fastpaced doesn’t come close to describing the speed of Newcastle, but Teesside were agile and every successful shot Newcastle made was matched by Teesside. The first quarter ending 1510 to the visitors.

Newcastle instigated a stronger challenge in the second quarter. Yii’s incredible agility saw him nail two three-pointers which, reinforced by Rafael Franca’s skilled free throws allowed them to take the advantage.

Following a delay after Teesside disputed a foul, Epameinondas Chalkidis and Giokaris seized the visitors’ lack of attention, adding an extra seven points to Newcastle’s score in overwhelming speed and awesome precision.

An injured Ryan Ndungu was substituted after an unfortunate arm injury, having refused to back down to the persistent visitors and they held a watertight defence throughout the match.

Teesside quickly became arrogant and were not prepared for Newcastle’s assault. Moving faster than the speed of light, Ply intercepted Teesside’s shot blasting the ball to the other side of the court and into the net.

Yet, Teesside were again swift in their response and were not prepared to relinquish their lead and reined the Knights in, keeping the score within only a few points at the end of the third quarter, leaving everything to play for.

Moving into the final quarter, the Knights were just four points behind the visiting team, and as a result what ensued has to be the most intense ten minutes of sport to have graced the Sports Centre in recent days.

After two free-throws, and two three-pointers from Yii, Newcastle moved to a 54-50 lead, although once again Teesside were determined to deny the hosts a lead eventually equalising with only five minutes left on the clock.

Refusing to back down, Newcastle inflicted incredible pressure on Teesside and in the face of such intense play began to crumble making amateur mistakes that the Knights converted into scoring opportunities, regaining and extending their lead in the process.

Expert and precise free throws from Franca and Yii took the Knights to a 64-61 lead and even with only 90 seconds remaining, pushed through to the final second, after a flawless shot from Ply and yet another effortless

double free throw from Yii; a player who was truly outstanding throughout the entire match.

It is genuinely impossible to describe just how fervid the final few minutes of the match actually were, but perhaps the most impressive part of the game was the Knights’ ability to remain cool, calm and collected, although unfortunately the same can’t be said for coach Ian Hewitt, who’s emotions during the last few minutes appeared to be on a very delicate pivot.

The match once again showed the strength of Newcastle’s team, even if it was a close call and a highly contested battle, but after Teesside completely collapsed under the pressure, no one can deny the Knights their glory.

The Courier Online For exclusive match reports on Newcastle’s Men’s Football Seconds and Thirds, and also both Rugby League teams visit www.thecourieronline.co.uk

45

THE COURIER Monday November 21 2011

BUCSsport

Raiders draw �irst blood for Uni as Stan Calvert Cup gets under way Improved Mustangs still no match for Newcastle as they succumb to varsity defeat American Football Stan Calvert Cup Newcastle Raiders Northumbria Mustangs

38 8

Matthew Carney at Killingworth On a cold and windy day at Gateshead International Stadium, the Newcastle Raiders set out to bring home the �irst Stan Calvert points of the year over an up-and-coming Mustangs team.

Having dominated local rivals Teesside the week before with a stunning 84-0 scoreline, the Raiders looked to continue the momentum and trample over Northumbria. Wearing their alternative kit, the Red, White and Blue Raiders trained hard all week, and were ready for a tough game.

There is a saying within the Raiders: ‘Be the hammer, not the nail’. GB Youth Linebacker John ‘Scouse’ Barrowcliff took this meaning literally, bringing the sledgehammer to the game. On the opening kick return, he showed the class that had alerted the GB scouts, crushing a Mustang and opening up a running lane for special teams captain Ben Cross to return the ball. The proli�ic Raiders offense took to the �ield, buoyed by the display of hard-hitting.

Picking up where he left off from last week’s win, quarterback and offensive captain Josh Pratt lead a long offensive drive. With power running from tailback John Vince, and hard blocking up front from rookie offensive lineman Justin Yau, the Raiders moved the ball with ease. A costly fumble in the Mustangs half changed the possession without the Raiders

Stan Calvert 2011/12 kicked off with the Newcastle Raiders going head to head with Northumbria Mustangs Photography: CRR Photography scoring, but this was recti�ied on the next drive, as Vince punched it in for the score.

The Raiders’ rock solid defence continued to prove why they are the best unit in the north. Led by hard-hitting team captain Jim Harvey, Northumbria failed to get anything going and were stonewalled by the physical Raiders’ defence. They tried passing, running inside, running outside, even trick plays, but were met each and

every time by an angry red shirt making the tackle. With another touchdown from the offence before half time, the Raiders went into the break 16-0 up, Harvey being denied another thanks to a dubious call from the sideline judge.

Shoddy refereeing �ired up Raiders head coach Ben Johnson. He called in the impact formation, designed to grind down defences and punish teams physically on offence. Full back

Damyan ‘Strong like Bull’ Georgiev pounded the Mustangs’ defensive players, and captains Cross and Harvey made huge gains behind the solid blocking of the offensive line. The impact formation put two more scores on the Mustangs, and had the desired effect of wearing down the opposition.

The Raiders’ defence also upped their game. Angered by some of the awful referee’s decisions, the defen-

sive line redoubled their efforts to make life hell for the offensive players from the Poly. Defensive end Ed ‘oblivion’ Green’s superior athleticism got him three sacks and numerous tackles for a loss on the day, ensuring the Mustangs never got going until late in the game. Unfortunately, Special Teams Captain Cross had trouble �ielding the numerous Northumbria punts. He had to catch so many, his arms started to get tired, and a dropped punt on the Raiders own three yard line resulted in a Mustangs touchdown on a desperate play.

The Raiders went back to their base formation for the remainder of the game. The shock of conceding was quickly shaken off, and the offense got moving once more. Newcastle got one more score in before the end of the game on a sweep by Alex Hind, a �irst year player who’s already having a solid season.

This �ixture gets closer every year.

The Mustangs were ranked 16th nationally last year, only six places behind Newcastle. Despite winning the game, it felt like a loss to a lot of the players’ as they knew an opportunity to put a lot more points on had gone.

Next up for the Raiders is a trip to Sunderland to face the Spartans, another local rival. You can be sure the Raiders will be training hard to prepare for what is sure to be another hard-hitting encounter.

MVPs Special Teams: Ed Green Defence: Alexander McPeake Offence: Alex Hind Team: Damyan Georgiev If you are interested in trying American Football, get in touch with Andrew Skelton on raiderspresident@gmail. com.

Wildcats second string fail Swim club make a to extinguish the Flames splash in Shef�ield Newcastle’s B team can’t perform ‘miracle on ice’, as Northumbria A take derby bragging rights in midnight clash at Whitley Bay Arena

Ice Hockey

Newcastle Wildcats B Northumbria Flames A

1 3

Freddie Caldwell at Whitley Bay Arena

It has been over three decades since U.S. coach Herb Brooks inspired his team to victory over the Soviet Union in what became known as the ‘Miracle on Ice’. On Tuesday night it was not Herb but Ed Brooks, the president of the Newcastle Wildcats, who was looking to inspire a similarly miraculous result over the Northumbria Flames at the formidable arena that is Whitley Bay ice rink.

The Wildcats B team has undergone signi�icant personnel changes since their frustrating season last year and, as ice hockey WAG Nia Coppack remarked before the game, it was likely that they would struggle physically against Northumbria’s A team.

The opening exchanges were fairly even, but it was not long before Northumbria began to impose themselves and started to dominate territory and possession. This built pressure which told when, with 12 minutes remaining in the �irst period, Northumbria opened the scoring with a long range shot which found the bottom left corner of the Newcastle goal. Both teams reacted by increasing their attacking endeavors; Newcastle captain Chris Payne manufactured several good chances but failed to �ind the net.

Scott Renfrey, in the Newcastle goal, was also kept busy as the period drew to a close.

The second period began with chances for both sides but, given the rival status of the two teams, contact was conspicuous by its absence.

The crowd’s attention began to focus more on the penguins and other mascots than on the game itself. Although there was occasional goalmouth action, the game continued in a rather

tame fashion until a moment of brilliance from Northumbrian player Pierre, who took it past three Wildcats before �inishing with ease.

The third period began and The Flames knew that all they had to do was defend their lead and they could hit Newcastle on the counter, which they did with ten minutes remaining, Pierre again supplying the �inish.

Despite now facing a considerable de�icit, Newcastle showed that they had been working on their �itness and they �inished the match as the dominant team. The Northumbrian defence discovered that Brooks can be a dif�icult man to defend against as he passed several players to score a consolation.

Although The Wildcats will be disappointed with the result, there were still positives to take from this performance. However, they will need to work on their physicality if they want to compete with the best teams in this division.

Becky Hair in Shef�ield

The BUCS Short Course competition took place over the weekend of November 11-13 at Shef�ield Ponds Forge.

Newcastle took 30 swimmers down for what proved to be a very successful weekend, with new swimmer Jonathon Hill taking the plaudits for reaching two �inals; coming an impressive fourth in the 200m Individual Medley with a time of 2.03.00 and then seventh in the 200m freestyle event in an impressive time of just 1.51.12. Hill was fastest over the �irst 100m but missed out on a top three �inish by just 0.12 seconds. His time over the �irst 100m was actually the fourth fastest of the nine �inalists.

There was also relative success for the men’s medley relay team and their female counterparts who both came in as reserves for the �inals, narrowly missing out on places in the showpiece races.

As is often the case with these weekends, the time out of the pool also

proved successful; a night out at Shef�ield Hallam’s ‘The Hub’ dressed up as Geordie Shore seemed to go down pretty well, especially when the lads used it as an excuse to fake tan!

This capped an excellent weekend, with many swimmers recording personal best times and the new intake of Freshers also looked really strong considering it was the �irst competition of the year.

In all, Newcastle claimed 25 BUCS points from the weekend, the men contributing 23 of these and the women adding the extra two. This gave them an overall 20th place, some way behind the leading sports universities but in a very respectable place considering the strength of their opposition.

From here Newcastle hope to keep up the good work in preparation for

Current BUCS Standing 13 Northumbria 907 pts 14 Newcastle 852 pts 15 Cardiff 828 pts

46

THE COURIER Monday November 21 2011

sportBUCS

Netball hat-trick but fourths miss out

Netball

40 42

Another away game, another must win for the first team. Facing Leeds met, who currently find themselves fighting to avoid last place in the league, Newcastle went into the match confident of a win.

With both teams achieving the odd break of centre, the lead began to alternate throughout the course of the match. Despite taking authority in the first quarter, winning 15-13, Newcastle were on the back foot by half time, trailing by a goal.

Substitutions in the third quarter renewed the rhythm of the game with Sarah Cressy moving to goal attack, adding a new dimension to the attack.

Going into the latter part of the match, Newcastle only led by two, however this goal difference proved decisive in the final score. Leeds met continued to press at Newcastle’s lead, but the firsts remained calm, crucially maintaining possession and converting their opportunities.

Despite the tight score line, Newcastle walked away with another important win.

Newcastle 2nds Leeds University 4ths

48 26

A confident start to the match saw the seconds slowly build a lead, despite a few fall backs to a feisty Leeds team, who were persistent in attack. In the second quarter the team began to gel, with Laura Harvey and player of the match Steph Blain working well and the new defensive layout proving successful with Lauren Barnett and Helen Jones picking off numerous interceptions.

The final quarter consolidated our lead, eventually winning the match.

Newcastle 3rds Teesside 1sts

27 22

Despite a shaky first quarter that saw the thirds trail by four at the close, Newcastle managed to pull back the game in the second quarter.

The final quarter proved tense, with the game going goal for goal. Newcastle however, proved their strength and with excellent pressure and tips coming from Stacey Genion, they broke away and stole the win, Another solid performance from the third team, who have proved their worth in this higher division.

York 2nds Newcastle 4ths

Newcastle recover from poor start to season to book place in third round Men’s Hockey Conference Cup

Fiona Moss Netball correspondent

Leeds Met 2nds Newcastle 1sts

Conference Cup success for seconds at Longbenton

38 33

Newcastle failed to make the most of York’s mistakes in this encounter.

Passing down the court has improved, with Tara Thedora Fettiman making a big impact coming on from the bench. Captain, Sophie Kennedy got player of the match putting pressure on attack and forcing mistakes.

All in all many positives can be taken from the match, despite the loss, and hopefully their luck can improve from here.

Newcastle 2nds Hull 1sts

James Jordan at Longbenton

2 1

After a bye in the first round of the North Conference Cup the Men’s Second team lined up against Hull First team in the headline fixture at Longbenton on Wednesday. This was a chance for the seconds to make up for a distinctly average start to the league season and accumulate some BUCS points in the cup. Shorn of the influential midfield pairing of Chris Ashton and Charlie Henry the stage was set for the return of the jet setting second year Henry Godkin to make his much anticipated return to the fold.

Newcastle lined up sporting a serious competitor for the most outrageous university kit and this had an immediate effect with all the early pressure being on the Hull ‘D’ with age and experience combining through fresher Will Ducker and seasoned Irishman Dan Walker. Newcastle maintained this pressure with a well worked switch move finding Josh Mackey in the ‘D’ who proceeded to turn and rifle the ball into the roof of the net to the delight of the on looking crowd.

This was the start that had been demanded before the match however soon after going ahead the tempo of the game slowed and Newcastle dropped their standard to that of Hull

Newcastle’s second string beat Hull 1sts in the cup at Longbenton Photography: Sam Tyson who after a wayward pass across the pitch managed to pierce the central defensive partnership of James Jordan and Charlie Russell- Jones with a scrappy goal.

Having been punished for a lack of concentration and with the low winter sun in the eyes of the Hull players Newcastle started a new tactic of going over the Hull defence with penetrating aerials from right back Nick Mclellan who is having a dominant season. This was seemingly ineffective as Hull earned a string of short corners, however, their dangerous centre forward could not get past

man of the match keeper Malcolm Pritchard.

In what was fast becoming a very even game good work down the left from Philip ‘Pip’ Irvine led to more pressure on the Hull ‘D’ with Hull having no answer to the well worked Newcastle press and a mazy run from Mclellan lead to Walker being on hand to force the ball under the Hull keeper for the lead.

At half time the aim was for Newcastle to attempt what had eluded them thus far during the season and close out a game and so after a frantic start to the second half with Hull

rising to the knockout nature of the game Newcastle began to dominate possession and control the game. Unfortunately for Newcastle the usually reliable Dave Arwas was sin binned for a poor challenge on the talented Hull captain. Hull were buoyed by the extra man and set about making it count however a combination of a well worked half press and some cracking saves from Pritchard Newcastle held on.

Now back to a full complement Newcastle then looked to extend their lead with Sam Harris-Wright shooting wide on his debut after fine build up play. Newcastle had now settled and were looking good to close out the game until a nail biting finish was assured with fresher Russell-Jones also being sent off, albeit harshly, for another questionable tackle. Good organisation saw the seconds through to the end of the game to set up a hotly anticipated clash with Leeds in the next round.

After such an indifferent start to the league season, success in the cup will have hopefully proved a welcome distraction and should instill confidence into the team over the coming weeks.

The Courier Online For an exclusive match report on Newcastle Men’s Firsts victory at Liverpool John Moore’s University visit www.thecourieronline.co.uk

Ladies prepare for Poly showdown with a win Sheffield beaten at Longbenton on return to BUCS league duty for hockey girls Ladies Hockey

Newcastle 1sts Sheffield 1sts

4 3

Alice Hogg at Longbenton A few weeks break from the BUCS League allowed the Women’s firsts to reassert their authority with a cracking 4-3 win over previously top of the league side Sheffield University.

Determined to recreate Saturday league successes on Wednesdays Newcastle were nervous but determined to prove themselves.

A slow start by the home team allowed Sheffield to immediately test the Newcastle defence. But thanks to Rachel Wilson diving all over the goal and strong clearances by the cool, calm and collected Milly Powers, Sheffield were starved of an early lead.

Newcastle soon found their footing

and began to dominate the game with quick lateral passing culminating in a brilliant goal by Jenna Watt struck across into the bottom right hand of the goal.

This gave Newcastle the confidence needed to continue a fast paced game, allowing all three sections to link well together and passing around the confused Sheffield team. Soon came a beautifully worked goal by Fresher Liz Shedden who tapped reverse stick passed the goalie, giving Newcastle a comfortable 2-0 league.

With a super enthusiastic half time chat and wise words of wisdom from Mrs Watt Newcastle started well.

Though not wanting to disappoint the fans with a white wash, a lapse in concentration by the Newcastle defence allowed Sheffield’s voluptuous forward a chance to pelt a ball into the goal with such tenacity it was as if someone had tried to force feed her vegetables. 2-1, game on.

Newcastle not enjoying the close score line decided to attack with gus-

to, midfielders Claire Bentata, Sophie McClean and Holly Radcliffe working tirelessly to feed the balls upfront.

Reward came with the awarding of a short corner. A shaky injection and overall bewildering routine was rectified when Milly Powers finally placed the ball over the goal line.

The second half soon resembled a game of tennis with both teams working the ball up the pitch only to be dispossessed and run back on the defence. One such break by the away team allowed them to capitalise on a short corner, striking the ball to an unmarked left hand corner. One again the score became a little close for comfort at 3-2. After five minutes to regain her breath, Nicki Mollison returned and scored the deciding goal with a textbook shot through the parted Sheffield defence from top ‘D’.

Not wanting to go down without a fight, in the hope of retaining their top of the league position, Sheffield responded strongly to the goal and immediately put Newcastle back un-

der pressure. Another short corner to the away side this time had them converting a shot in the bottom right. In the last few minutes, which to many felt like a lifetime, Newcastle managed to run down the clock and remain in the lead. With a final score of 4-3, Newcastle will hope to carry this form in to next week when they face the Poly away.

Upcoming Fixtures 23 Nov (A) vs Northumbria 1sts 30 Nov (H) vs Edinburgh 1sts* 25 Jan (H) vs Manchester 2nds 8 Feb (A) vs Manchester 1sts 15 Feb (H) vs Liverpool JM 1sts 29 Feb (A) vs Sheffield 1sts 7 Mar (H) vs Northumbria 1sts *Denotes cup match

47

THE COURIER Monday November 21 2011

Royals rule at Kingston Park

Continued from back page

sion to keep Northumbria within one converted try at 13-7, but the pressure was soon alleviated when Mark Wilcox ran through. In truth he should have passed the ball earlier but Jonny Patterson ensured that it didn’t matter, receiving Wilcox’ of�load before jumping a tackle and scoring his side’s third try.

Northumbria pushed desperately for a way back into the match but the Uni held �irm. With streakers climbing the posts at the other end, Newcastle held �irm at the other. Unable to cope with the (red) brick-wall defence of Newcastle the clock ticked down, and Northumbria’s chances of salvaging something from the game began to diminish.

The one error Newcastle made was punished however. Northumbria opted to scrum from a penalty conceded deep in the 22, and the huge pack forced the ball over for replacement Stu Campbell to touch the ball down over the line.

Mitchell took the conversion and

It served to inspire the Royals who began to get back into the game; Jonny Patterson and Sam Leslie-Millar both made good runs into the opposition 22 before Newcastle �inally crossed for their �irst try. Nic Pass won the ball from a line-out and Bell claimed the ball from the ruck and ran over himself to put Newcastle back in the lead.

Walker-Taylor missed the extra two points but Newcastle’s lead was soon extended with the best try of the match. Ioan Davies intercepted the ball in his own 22 and ran the length of the pitch to score in the corner.

While Davies rightly took the plaudits for a �ine solo effort, Dave Swetman deserves credit for having denied Northumbria a try of their own just moments earlier with a crucial huge tackle on the Poly winger after they had earlier hit the post with a penalty.

Walker-Taylor’s missed the conver-

Starting XVs

Cam Mitchell

Chris McTurk

scored it to reduce the de�icit to just four points, but backed by their fantastic support and lifted by captain Walker-Taylor, the Royals closed out the �inal four minutes. Despite being

Ioan Davies breaks for Newcastle’s second try Photography: Turlough Donnelly

Scrums

Lineouts

2

Ross Burton

pushed backwards from their own scrum in the �inal seconds, Newcastle held onto the ball and kicked into touch.

The �inal whistle followed and “40 Geordies” echoed around Kingston Park as Newcastle celebrated a famous victory in front of the loyal visiting supporters.

Director of rugby Tom Wilkinson stated after the game that he was ‘delighted’ with the result, fully accepting that while the performance was a little scrappy it was only to be expected from such a match.

“It’s all about the result,” he told The Courier, adding that their second win as many matches gives them something to build on going in to the next few weeks.

After a poor start to the season, Newcastle’s season appears to be right back on track and they can go into next week’s clash against top of the table Durham having alleviated a lot of the pressure that they had found themselves under just a fortnight ago.

Lost

4

6

Tom Banks

Lost

1

Lewis Johnston

Lost

Lost

Sam Ash Callum Blyth JS Paul

Tom Nutley

5

9

4

Won

Antonio McKenzie

Won

7

Tom Schofield Henry Forbes

Won

Newcastle

Andre Foster F Entressengle Ollie Longmore

S Northcote-Green

Northumbria

Penalties conceded

Harry Martin Mungo Strachan Oli Kitching S Leslie-Miller

Mark Wilcox

Nic Pass

Ben Morris

11

Lewis Crosbie

6

Newcastle

Northumbria

R Walker-Taylor Ioan Davies J Patterson Dave Swetman

Paddy Irwin

Results Badminton

M1 v Nottingham 1sts M2 v Hull 1sts W1 v Sheffield 1sts

Basketball

M1 v Teesside 1sts W1 v Manchester 1sts

Fencing

M1 v York 2nds M2 v Bradford 1sts

Football 4-4 0-8 4-4

1 v UCLAN 2nds 2 v Sheffield 1sts

Hockey 133 - 106 127 - 108

Jo Beckett

M1 v UCLAN 1sts M2 v Sheffield 1sts M3 v York 1sts W1 v Sheffield 2nds W2 Huddersfield 1sts

Golf 68 - 61 45 - 66

Won

M1 v Liverpool 1sts M2 v Hull 1sts M3 v Leeds 4ths

6-0 0-6 1-2 7-0 2-9 1-5 1-5 4-2 2-1 6-0

M4 v Northumbria 1sts W1 v Sheffield 1sts W2 v Northumbria 2nds W3 v York 1sts W4 v Teesside 1sts

1-8 4-3 2-2 0 - 10 1-6

Lacrosse

M1 v Sheffield Hallam 2nds 16 - 0 W1 v York 1sts 21 - 2 W2 v Sheffield 1sts 12 - 7

Netball

W1 v Leeds Met 2nds W2 v Leeds 4ths W3 v Teesside 1sts W4 v York 2nds

42 - 40 48 - 26 28 - 22 33 - 38

Newcastle

Northumbria

What the stats say As can be se seen from the graphics, Northumbria were dominant from set plays, twice winning scrums on the Newcastle put-in, and also claiming possession from nearly half of the Royals’ line-outs.

Where they fell down however was their indiscipline, conceding a massive 11 penalties for various infringements compared to Newcastle only conceding six.

Rugby

M1 v Northumbria 1sts 18 - 14 M2 v Durham 3rds 7 - 43 M3 v Bishop Burton 1sts 9 - 29 M4 v York 2nds 11 - 9 W1 v Leeds 1sts 36 - 0

Rugby League

M1 v Liverpool JMU 1sts 25 - 10 M2 v Northumbria 2nds 4 - 64

Squash

M1 v Sheffield 1sts

0-5

BUCSsport

NWR stay top in Leeds Women’s Rugby

0 38

Leeds 1sts Newcastle 1sts So�ie Raine and Rosie Neal in Leeds

Still unbeaten this season after overcoming a tricky Teesside outside last week, NWR Firsts travelled to Leeds in a bid to maintain their fantastic start to the season.

Captain Phoebe Lebrecht gave a statement of the Royals’ intent with a good tackle on the strongest Leeds runner when Leeds tried to break the line early on, and almost immediately Newcastle were putting pressure on the Leeds’ 22.

Leeds were too eager to get the ball out of their hands which frequently allowed Newcastle the opportunity to gain possession and the �irst points of the match duly went the Royals’ way.

Good hands out to the backs from a line out led to a penalty which Rosie Neal perfectly set up Pat Lapierre for the try from. Lebrecht expertly added the conversion from the corner.

Straight from the restart Newcastle were back on the attack. Leeds’ outside centre only just denied Sarah Bannon a try as she chased through a chip from the backs, but a scrum on the 22 soon led to one of a number of tries for ball hogger Holly Malins.

There was no conversion on this occasion due to the touch judge being unfortunately distracted by the game report but as the clock ticked past 30 minutes, NWR seemed to be permanently in the Leeds’ 22 and Malins crossed the line once more before half-time. Quelle surprise.

NWR were switched on from the restart, leading to an early try from prop Charlotte Flint who broke away from the ruck with amazing pace to score under the posts and the conversion was easily taken over by Lebrecht.

Their replacements made an immediate impact too with So�ie Raine receiving a dif�icult kick and making a break towards half way. From this break down, white line fever ridden Holly Malins picked up the ball and beat many defenders to cross the line again, despite all of the support screaming at her for the ball so the try could be scored under the posts.

Again this was not converted but Leeds never got back into NWR’s 22 before the end of the game.

Fantastic basic rugby skills from the Newcastle girls opened up holes in Leeds defence leading to the �inal try

by Holly Malins, which was converted

by Lebrecht to wrap up a 38-0 win.

M2 v Sheffield 2nds W1 v Northumbria 1sts W3 v Leeds 2nds

Table Tennis

M1 v Lancaster 1sts M2 v York 2nds

Tennis

M1 v Sheffield 2nds M2 v York 2nds W1 v Leeds Met 3rds

Volleyball

0-5 3-1 0-4

8-9 5 - 12 6-6 8-4 8-4

M1 v Sheffield Hallam 2nds 3 - 1

Sport

48

THE COURIER Monday November 21 2011

thecourieronline.co.uk/sport

Intra Mural: Medics back on track with double win page 40 American Football: Poly bashed by Raiders page 45

Uni win ‘Clash of the Titans’ Second-half �ightback sees Royals narrowly beat the Poly and secure �irst ever win at Kingston Park

Newcastle proved just too good for Northumbria as they secured their second consecutive win of the season.

Photography: Turlough Donnelly

Men’s Rugby Union Northumbria 1sts Newcastle 1sts

14 18

Colin Henrys Sport Editor at Kingston Park Billed as the ‘Clash of the Titans’, a tense affair in front of a vociferous crowd at Kingston Park ended in Newcastle claiming the bragging rights of the city after defeating Northumbria 18-14.

Critics of Rugby Union point to games like these as being evidence that Union is the lesser of the two rugby codes, but low-scoring does not mean low entertainment. With �ive tries, streakers, wallet-waving and two Paddy Irwins this game had it all and made for a great spectacle.

The match itself began in a scrappy manner as is often the case in Uni vs Poly matches, but after Northumbria took a 7-3 lead into half-time, the game came to life in the second-half with replacement scrum-half Rory Bell proving to be instrumental in turning the game in Newcastle’s fa-

vour. He crossed for Newcastle’s �irst try on 54 minutes before a wonderful solo effort by Ioan Davies and a deserved try for Jonny Patterson silenced the home support.

A late Northumbria try made for a nerve-wracking last �ive minutes for the Royals but they held �irm to claim their second consecutive win and put themselves three points clear of their varsity rivals in the BUCS Premier North league table.

Perhaps still trying to work out why they were asked to take a block of cheese to a social, the Poly started slowly; knocking on after some good Newcastle defence and then conceding a penalty from the resultant scrum.

The Royals, however, were no better at looking after the ball in the early stages, which cost them possession twice as they neared the Northumbria 22. First a �ly-hack from scrumhalf Lewis Crosbie was pounced on by the impressive Ben Morris but the ball was run out of play after a quick passing move across the pitch and this was followed by a good break from Patterson and Irwin which again ended with the ball being knocked on.

It was at this point that there were two Paddy Irwins on the pitch, and while the player himself was struggling to break the Northumbria line he was at least faring better than the decapitated cardboard cut out of him thrown on to the pitch by Polly the Parrot.

Sporting a Hitler-esque moustache and with some colourful language scrawled across his forehead, the billboard Irwin had certainly seen better days.

Back on the pitch, Newcastle continued to look the more likely to score next and after a great kick to touch by captain Richard Walker-Taylor, they won a penalty inside the Northumbria 22. Having removed his scrum cap to reveal his iconic hair colour, the captain took the kick himself with chants of “You are ginger!” echoing from the Poly end of the stand. Such observational skills proved that even Poly students have learned their colours, but it did nothing to put him off and he kicked Newcastle into a 3-0 lead.

The score sparked Northumbria into life, however, and a huge rolling maul powered their much heavier

pack towards the Newcastle try line.

Ben Morris, who impressed throughout, held up Poly winger Ross Burton just inches from the line but scrumhalf Callum Blyth was quick to the restart feeding his half-back partner Sam Ash who in turn found Tommy Banks, who touched down under the posts. Ash added the easy extras and Northumbria were in the ascendancy.

From there until half-time, the Royals looked really up against it, frequently guilty of losing the ball in the breakdown and really struggling to cope with the hefty Northumbria pack, losing the ball from their own scrum and frequently being forced backwards. Crucially, however, the Poly failed to add to the scoreline and half-time arrived with the score at 7-3.

While the Poly chose to stay out in the middle at half-time, Newcastle returned to the dressing room in need of a stern talking to. The second-half saw the introduction of Rory Bell at scrum-half but Northumbria continued to dominate proceedings.

Walker-Taylor, whose kicking had been impressive in the �irst half began to suffer. After Northumbria conced-

ed a penalty on the try-line for holding onto the ball, Walker-Taylor’s kick missed touch, and when he was given a second chance just moments later he repeated this feat.

Fortunately Northumbria failed to capitalise but the pressure stayed on and they thought that it had paid off when a long kick down the right stayed in play, and winger Chris McTurk kicked the ball over the tryline.

Cam Mitchell thought that he had touched the ball down but the touch judge ruled otherwise and disallowed it.

The Poly support was livid, at least the ones that had stayed for the second-half were. Bizarrely many of them had failed to reappear after the break, perhaps unable to concentrate for more than 40 minutes at a time.

Sensing their fortune Newcastle �inally got a grip of the game, backed by their increasingly loud crowd, whose chants of “Feed the Poly” and “your dad works for my dad” echoed around Kingston Park throughout the second half. continued on page 47