The Courier 1236

Inside this week’s C2 Your guide to the Free Thinking Festival, plus exclusive interviews starts on page 14 >>>

C OURIER THE

thecourieronline.co.uk · Issue 1236 Monday October 31 2011

The Independent Voice Of Newcastle Students

Penny Sound of Pincher the UnderIan Jones on cutting your ground

utility bills Sam Summers on lifestyle, Bieber & Katy Perry page 32

music, page 26

Tribulations of a soon-tobe-graduate Lucy Alexander

careers, page 37

Spy on your �latmate or face �ine, students told Accommodation staff asked students to �ilm smoking �latmate

George Sandeman News Editor

The University Accommodation Service suggested to a group of students that they should spy on a �latmate in order to avoid being �ined.

The students, residents of Richardson Road last year, were told by a sen-

ior individual in the Accommodation Service that they had to obtain “video evidence” in order to prove a �latmate was smoking indoors and burning the carpet, a carpet which would cost nearly £500 to replace.

The students, who spoke to The Courier in anonymity, did not attempt to spy on their �latmate, but such a request by the Accommodation Service appears to contradict their own terms and regulations.

Smoking is banned indoors and regulated by the Accommodation Service in the accommodation contract under “Tenant Obligations 1.10”. This states

that all tenants are obliged “not to smoke anywhere within the Accommodation or within the grounds of the Accommodation except in a designated area”.

The No Smoking Policy operated by the University also guarantees the “right of non-smokers to breathe in air-free from tobacco smoke”.

On page 10 of the Terms and Conditions Booklet the University states that “where there has been an alleged breach of contract of these terms and conditions, this will be investigated”.

The students claim that the Accommodation Service did not follow

Est 1948

through on these guarantees and that after numerous complaints and meetings it was then suggested to them that they try espionage.

Newcastle University is also voluntarily signed up to the UUK Code of Practice, which intends to outline best practice and set benchmarks for management to ensure that the quality of university accommodation is of a good standard.

The code states that students can expect “a living environment free from anti-social behavior”.

Continued on page 4

The Accommodation service collected over £30,000 worth of damage costs from students in 2011 Photography: Sam Tyson

UCAS reveals drop in demand UK sees 12% decline in those applying to university

Wills Robinson News Editor

Recent statistics released by UCAS have shown that applications for university have dropped by 9% in the year before the tuition fee rise. This amounts to a drop in over 7,000 students in comparison to the same time last year The number of UK students applying has dropped by 12%, despite a survey by the BBC amongst A-Level students �inding that only one in ten were put off by the rise in fees. Applications amongst those over the age of 25 have dropped by over a �ifth; however, the amount of overseas applications has seen a surprising increase.

In the North East, speci�ically, 14% fewer young people have applied via UCAS, one of the biggest regional declines in the country. Only East Midlands, Yorkshire and Humberside saw a larger drop in applications.

Newcastle North MP Catherine McKinnell expressed her concern at the results: “[The results] backs up my initial fears that the Government’s new fees regime would put off a signi�icant number of people from the region considering higher education.

“Even more worrying is the fact that this fall in applications comes at a time of high unemployment in the North East when you expect more young people to want to go to university”.

The �igures are based on those applying for Medicine, Dentistry and veterinary sciences, alongside Oxbridge applications and those who have already handed in applications.

Politicians have stressed that the �igures published by UCAS are an early indication of the impact that fees will have on the numbers vying for positions before the January deadline Continued on page 2

News

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THE COURIER Monday October 31 2011

News Editors Wills Robinson and George Sandeman Online News Editor Helen Lam courier.news@ncl.ac.uk

thecourieronline.co.uk/news

Contents News

Welsh woes

5

Choosy students

7

University abolished after reports of handing out ‘fake’ degrees

Which? magazine sets out plans to rate unis by “value for money”

“Virtually every student polled [at Newcastle] was unhappy about the fee rise”

Police reveal optimistic statistics

Arrests during FW decline from last year Student burglaries steadily decreasing

Comment

The Debate

Should photos of Gadaf�i’s death have been published?

Zombie love

Is our continuing obsession with the living dead healthy?

Sport

Drugged up

Could performanceenhancing substances improve sport?

Mike Ashley

Why the Newcastle chairman may not be the devil incarnate

Wills Robinson News Editor

9

11

Over 95% of students that pass through the Armstrong arches are satisfied with their curent degrees

Photography: Sam Tyson

39 41

David Hiscocks Continued from front page There have been widespread concerns within England and Wales that there would be a fall in University applicants since the current Government lifted the maximum charge for University tuition fees. Many Universities intend to charge the maximum allowable, £9000, when this change is introduced in 2012.

A BBC ‘Inside Out’ poll suggested that two thirds of A-level students would consider an apprenticeship instead. Moreover, UCAS �igures show that the hardest-hit demographic are mature students in their forties, where there is a reported 28% drop in applications.

However, UCAS has warned that these �igures may be misleading as they are preliminary, as for most courses, the deadline for applications is January. Universities, such as City University London and Brunel, are reporting a drop in applications, but others such as the London School of Economics have shown an increase .

In addition, it may be a mistake to link the decline in applications to the increase in fees. The 12% decrease The Courier Editorial Team is:

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in applications to university also applies to Scotland where, there has been no fee increase. Indeed, Scottish students do not pay tuition fees if they go to a Scottish University, they pay a one-off top-up fee of a relatively insigni�icant amount. Therefore, the supposed drop in applications may be more to do with the overall economic climate, rather than Government policy. Unfortunately the evidence is inconclusive and contradictory.

To try and clarify whether the decline in applications is due to the tuition fee increase, a poll was conducted outside Newcastle University’s Union on October 25. Students were asked if they would still have applied to Newcastle University to do their current course if the fees were set at 2012 levels. 95% answered that they ‘probably would’ apply even if the fees were set at 2012 levels. However, most of these students did express their concerns that it would be �inancially dif�icult. The remaining 5% either said they wouldn’t bother to come; or they said they would have to think about it carefully. This creates the assumption that some of the students who are unsure would apply regardless after they had considered it.

These results lead to the conclusion

Editor: Kat Bannon Deputy Editor: Elliot Bentley News Editors: Wills Robinson and George Sandeman Online News Editor: Helen Lam Politics Editor: Bethany Stauton Comment Editors: Sophie McCoid and Susie May Beever Online Comment Editor: Jack Torrance C2 Editor: Aimee Philipson Lifestyle Editors: Olivia Mason and Ben Parkin Online Lifestyle Editor: Emma Balter Fashion Editor: Victoria Mole Online Fashion Editor: Rosanna Sopp

that over 95% of current students at Newcastle University are so satis�ied with their course that they would pay to do it even at 2012 levels. Although virtually every student who was polled said that they were unhappy about the rise in fees from 2012, few of them would consider this a suf�icient reason to abandon the prospect of a Degree.

Evidently, it does not follow from this that all potential students who lack the experience of university to guide them think along the same lines as the students who were polled.

However, the poll results indicate that there remains a tendency amongst young people towards valuing a degree, even if it were to cost £9000.

The poll suggests that the initial �igures from UCAS will be proved to be too pessimistic. We can only trust that despite the increased �inancial dif�iculty of attending university due to Government policy and the depressed economy that these factors will only have a negligible impact on the �inal �igures for university applications.

Arts Editors: Sally Priddle Online Arts Editor: Lisa Bernhardt Film Editor: Chris Binding Online Film Editor: Hayley Hamilton Music Editors: Ben Travis, Chris Scott Online Music Editors: Graham Matthews Sports Editors: Colin Henrys, Harry Slavin and Rory Brigstock-Baron Online Sports Editor: Grace Harvey Design Editors: Gabe Mason and Tom O’Boyle

Copy Editors: Alice Sewell, Adam Rummens, Rachael Day, Charley Monteith, Dave Dodds, Sarah Collings, Marleen van Os, Emily Wheeler, Rachel Moon, Rebecca Markham, Grace Marconi

Figures released by Northumbria Police Student Liason Of�icer Faye Paterson provide a sense of optimism for students.

During Freshers’ Fortnight this year, only 51 arrests were made in comparison to 76 in 2010, highlighting a possible improvement in student behavior. The most common arrests were based on drunk and disorderly behaviour, drug possession and various assault offences. The police also reported that during the most recent Carnage bar crawl, a popular event amongst students, there were no incidents and students appeared to be “good natured” according to Neighbourhood inspector Darren Sweeney.

Figures also show a decline in burglaries involving students. “[B]urglary has steadily declined over the past �ive years,” says Paterson. The last academic year saw 215 burglaries of student properties around the city, with 22 occurring in halls of residence. The majority were carried out in Jesmond and Heaton, accounting for over half of all the student burglaries last year.

Since the start of Freshers’ this year, 18 student properties across the city have been burgled, with one being at a hall of residence.

The typical items that are stolen from students are laptops, phones, MP3 players and game consoles, and occasionally car keys and cars.

One of the more negative �igures is the problem of bike theft that still affects students. Last year, 258 students had their bikes stolen and so far this academic year, 49 have already been stolen.

“This tends to be because cyclists use cheap or chain style locks which are easily cut through with bolt cutters,” suggests Paterson.

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Established in 1948, The Courier is the fully independent student newspaper of the Students’ Union at Newcastle University. The Courier is published weekly during term time, and is free of charge.

The design, text, photographs and graphics are copyright of The Courier and its individual contributors. No parts of this newspaper may be reproduced without the prior permission of the Editor. Any views expressed in this newspaper’s opinion pieces are those of the individual writing, and not of The Courier, the Union Society or Newcastle University.

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THE COURIER Monday October 31 2011

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The Baltic is Turner-ing heads Prestigious art prize arrives in Newcastle

Baltic is first venue outside London to host

Sally Priddle Arts Editor

For the first time in Turner Prize history, work by nominees for one of the most prestigious awards in the art world is being showcased in The Baltic, Newcastle. The Turner Prize has been regarded as a highly prestigious award for twenty seven years, and until now has been exclusively displayed at the Tate in London. The offerings come from four artists; Karla Black, Martin Boyce, Hilary Lloyd and George Shaw.

Artists were nominated by a panel of experts with contributions from the public. Each artist has chosen their favoured room in the Baltic, with the intention of selecting the area that best compliments their piece. Martin Boyce’s piece starts off the exhibition.

For twenty seven years the highly prestigious Turner Prize has been exclusively displayed at the Tate in London Using the whole room, Boyce aims to surround and involve the viewer and hopes to transform the atmosphere of the room. Boyce uses a 3D sculpture in the centre of the room that looks like a confused and inefficient table-tennis table.

You then walk into Hilary Lloyd’s exhibition whose art revolves around visual technology. She chose to have a room with a wall of window so that her projection of the moon was positioned to look out onto the sky.

The unfortunate thing with Lloyd’s work being set up in such a small venue is that it is less impressive than her normal style, which involves projections onto large buildings.

The Baltic has become a key feature of the regenerated Newcastle/Gateshead Quayside, and has now, through the Turner Prize, risen to further prominence in the art scene Photography: John Cooke

Karla Black is the next artist featured, whose work is entitled Doesn’t Care in Words. Expanded across the entire room is a 3D structure made from sugar paper, plastic bags and what looks like bath bombs. She has formed the materials into an archway which you are welcomed to walk through, and it gives you a fully three dimensional feel to her work.

The final artist exhibited is George Shaw. His work is made up of a series of eight portraits of a housing estate in Coventry. The most conventional artist nominated for the award, his work is detailed paintings that at first glance could easily be mistaken for a photograph. The paintings show a depressing, desolate scene of grey skies, iron fences, shop shutters covered in graffiti, and matchbox houses.

He aims to show a representation of working-class industrialised Britain.

When you visit The Baltic you must bear in mind that The Turner Prize is an award for contemporary art, and regardless whether you know a lot about art or not, you will feel compelled to wonder about the meaning behind such unusual work.

One benefit behind the work being showcased in The Baltic is that it has provided a new stage for artists to display their work to a brand new audience.

Laurence Sillars, Chief Curator at The Baltic, argues that the North East is already on the map as an art location, but bringing The Turner Prize to the area will boost its profile and provides a perfect opportunity to show what the North East has to offer.

He believes they chose the Baltic as it is an ambitious and forward thinking Gallery that aims to exhibit projects no matter what the scale.

Although the Turner Prize exhibition has been open for less than a week it has already proved to be popular amongst the people of Newcastle, with queues being out the door everyday since it has opened. This high profile event is big news for Newcastle. It will raise its profile as a cultural city, and promises to pull in tourists from not only across the country, but across the world.

The Turner Prize exhibition runs from October 21 – January 8 at The Baltic. The winner will be announced on December 5 and broadcast on Channel 4.

Jobfest puts futures in perspective

Helen Lam

Last Monday, St. James’ Park played host to one of the largest graduate recruitment fairs in the North East: Newcastle JobFest. Organised by Newcastle University Careers Service, the event attracted over 1700 students in their penultimate or final year as well as recent graduates.

With the aim of helping students gain awareness of the opportunities available to them after graduation, the event included information on graduate schemes, volunteering and

further study. Representatives from 87 employers attended the event to speak and give first hand advice to students interested in entering the graduate market.

The event hosted an array of exhibitors, many being large multinational companies, including Jaguar Land Rover, Abercrombie & Fitch, Procter & Gamble and Apple Retail. With such a large number of employers in attendance, students from every degree discipline were catered to.

Third year Geography student, Emily Hartley commented to The Courier, “it was quite overwhelming when I first arrived with there being so many

stalls; however I quickly found my feet and approached some companies who gave me brilliant advice and information on the next steps to take in applying for grad schemes. It gave me the kick I needed to get the ball rolling and start applying for schemes straight away.”

Emily is not the only student to have benefited from such events. Modern Languages graduate Rebecca Riddle attended the event last year and after speaking to a representative from logistics company MDS, she was encouraged to apply for a position within the firm. After a successful application process, Rebecca is now due

to fly out to Murcia in Spain to take on her role.

Rebecca commented: “If I hadn’t gone to the fair I definitely wouldn’t have got the job I‘m in now. It was just a great opportunity to network and get myself known to companies and to find out more about them as well.

“There were so many companies there from across the world. I got talking to a representative from MDS. It was a company I had heard of but I would never have thought of applying for a job with them if I hadn’t chatted with someone at the event. Then just a few weeks later I had a position with them.”

Speaking to The Courier about the next steps students should take after attending the event, Nick Keeley, Director of the Careers Service explained: “If you identified some employers that are of interest to you, then keep the momentum going. If you do apply, it’s worth mentioning in your application that you spoke to someone at the Fair – even better if you can name the individual you spoke to. The personal touch can really help you stand out at this normally relatively impersonal stage of the application process“.

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THE COURIER Monday October 31 2011

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Facebook photos could cost you a job

Ralph Blackburn

A few weeks on from Freshers’ week and photos of students looking far from presentable begin to appear, dotted over Facebook feeds.

From stumbling in close proximity to vomit, and even closer proximity to members of the opposite sex, these photos are most likely ones you would not want broadcast to the world.

As a student, you hardly think of the effect of such photos; surely this kind of thing is expected during your time at university. The worst moment is merely a phone call from a worried mother or father.

However, it is possible that greater consequences may begin to appear.

For students attending university or looking to apply to university this has been a fairly well known issue.

In 2007, Oxford University screened students’ Facebook for disreputable behaviour. Staff would trawl through student photos and when �inding photos that implied anti social behaviour, students would be issued with �ines.

In America it is far more commonplace regarding admissions. Harvard interviewer Allison Ostor admits to

checking students’ Facebooks, saying it does create an opinion against the candidate.

Currently, it appears unlikely that Newcastle University operate similar procedures, otherwise Sinners would de�initely be off limits. This is not uniform across major universities, with Cambridge University branding Oxford’s screening a ‘witch hunt’, and stating that they would never screen their students’ Facebooks. Oxford Student Union said it was a “disgraceful” interference into student privacy.

Whilst we, as the general public, �ind it slightly disturbing that someone we have never met could be browsing our Facebook, celebrities face issues like this every day with the modern paparazzi culture of the tabloid press.

Certain iconic tabloid images we have of celebrities can haunt careers.

Many of us will remember Amy Winehouse, more for front page splashes of her drug addiction, than her music. The current Chancellor, George Osborne, is constantly dogged by a photo, taken in the early 90s, of him with an escort girl and several lines of cocaine.

Is it possible that photos of ourselves in our student days, involving drink or maybe even drugs, could come back to haunt us later?

Andrew Charlesworth, Director of the Centre for IT and Law at Bristol, said he was incredibly concerned with the effect such photos could have on later careers.

Nick Keeley, Director of the Newcastle University Careers service, advises “Surveys have suggested that up to 50% of employers look at social network sites to screen applicants and that particular reasons for not taking an application further include: provocative photos, references to drinking and drugs and racist comments.

“Some employers also look for any discrepancy in the candidate’s quali�ications on-line and on their application. My recommendation is that job seekers either regularly edit their social-networking pages or make them private to avoid would-be employers looking into their personal life”.

Earlier this month, social media monitoring service Reppler reported that some 91% of employers used social media, such as Facebook and Twitter, when screening job applicants, with 69% rejecting a applicant based on something they found.

With numerous reports that the job market is overcrowded, a strong 2-2 from a Russell Group university will no longer guarantee employment.

Harvard interviewer Ostor recom-

mends “one of the best things you can do is Google yourself, then pull anything off that you wouldn’t voluntarily show your parents’ friends”.

One major issue is friends posting photos of yourself that you do not have access to, however there are steps you can take to ensuring privacy, and you can always just ask them

to take the photos down.

In terms of job prospects having a ‘clean’ Facebook could well make the difference between sitting around in your underwear watching ‘Come Dine with Me’ for months or hopping on the tube, in a crisp suit, to work.

Oxford University searched students’ Facebook profiles for anti-social behaviour Photography: Tejvan Pettinger

‘Ricky Road’ collectively charged £20,000 in 2011 Continued from front page For one of the students the excessively loud and smokey conditions became so bad that he had to book himself into a youth hostel the night before an exam in order to ensure a reasonable night’s sleep. The one night cost him £15 when a week’s rent at Richardson Road was around £70 a week.

This student also added that the dif�icult living conditions, and the lack of action on the part of the Accommodation Service to do something about it, de�initely “held [him] back” in his studies.

It was then suggested to this particular student that he was better off moving accommodation but that he had to �ind someone of the same gender who was willing to move to exchange with. When the student found an individual from Bowsden Court who was looking for a more lively student experience, he took him to his Richardson Road �lat but the individual found the �lat to be too noisy and smoke-�illed for him.

To make things even more dif�icult, the student couldn’t afford the extra cost of rent and transport at halls further out, such as Bowsden Court, compared to his cheaper and more centrally located Richardson Road halls.

When asked by The Courier to comment on the spy allegations, the Head of the Accommodation Service, Paul Bandeen said: “I can only advise that the student follows our complaints procedure should they feel that a member of staff has not discharged their duties appropriately”.

On other occasions the students were told to simply put up with the excessive smoke and noise because “[that’s] just the nature of student life.” The Accommodation Service

also alledged to the students that “they were just feeling homesick.”

When informed of the near £500 cost for carpet replacement the group of students each �iled a formal appeal against the ruling citing their previous complaints as evidence that they did not burn the carpet. However, only one of the individuals’ complaints was then deemed serious enough to be considered by Paul Bandeen.

The student who wrote this complaint alleges that the Accommodation Service intentionally delayed communicating with him over the Summer to force him to pay the �ine.

In order to enroll for the next academic year and gain access to student loans students must formally register their attendance with the University before the start of term. To do this the university requires that outstanding matters from the previous year, such as �ines and appeals, be settled before the formal registration can be complete.

For the student who wrote the complaint, access to his student loan was critical for him in order to pay rent and begin the year. He believes the Accommodation Service knowingly strung the process out in order to force him to pay.

In what would seem to be a twist of events that would con�irm the students’ claims that they weren’t responsible for the smoking damage, the �latmate they were asked to spy on was told to leave halls by the University later in the year for smoking indoors.

However, The Courier can con�irm that the students were made to pay collectively for the damage to the carpet. Each had to pay £91.66 and all of their formal written appeals failed, despite their persistent attempts earlier in the year to make the Accommodation Service aware of the situation.

THE COURIER Monday October 31 2011

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University of Wales ended after scandal ‘Fake’ degrees awarded to foreign students to help obtain Visas

The University of Wales was a national institution that had been active since 1893. Photography: Danny McL

Joe Wood On October 21 the University of Wales – a national institution dating back since 1893 – was effecitvely abolished.

After a series of allegations against the organisation the UoW merged with two colleges and has been renamed The University of Wales: Trinity Saint David.

This marked something of an ‘end of an era’ but the University is adamant that this is a ‘new beginning’ rather than a shameful end.

Problems arose for the once ‘second largest university in Britain’ when it was purported that the body had been awarding ‘fake’ degrees to some of the 70,000 students, who attend the 130 colleges around the world using UoW courses.

One of the most notable cases of the unethical validation of degrees to students was at Rayat London College, where an undercover BBC reporter took footage of a chief-examiner, and senior lecturer of the College, providing his students with the answers to an exam regulated and validated by the UoW. Claims have been made that the University had assisted foreign students in attaining Visas to stay in Britain by awarding them bogus degrees. These are possibly very serious criminal offences, which may well lead to prosecutions being made against the University and its ex-council chairman Hugh Thomas. Mr Thomas made his

resignation public on the University of Wales website stating that: “The historic decision […] has caused me to assess what in leadership terms is in the best interests of the transformed University.” He added: “I intend to resign as Chairman.”

The mounting pressure for Mr Thomas to resign meant there was no other option for him. However, this does not necessitate that he will be beyond the media and judicial limelight. It is possible the allegations against him may even lead to the penal punishment of a prison sentence.

The worrying aspect in regards to some UoW courses being fraudulent

is that unqualified people, both British and International, may have attained positions in the job market which they do not have adequate skills for nor deserve.

This can be seen in the case of the Malaysian pop star Fazley Yaakob, who resigned after being found with two fake degrees. At the time he was also running a college which awarded degrees from the UoW. Allegations such as these have made “the brand of the University of Wales tarnished” in the words of vice-chancellor Prof Medwin Hughes.

The scandal, and subsequent abolition, of the University of Wales will

likely have long term and broader effects on the British University establishment.

This has all happened at a time when the usefulness of universities to the British public has been brought into question, after massive rises in the cost of tuition fees and figures showing high student unemployment rates when leaving university.

With a scandal as monumental as this, which follows previous claims within the past few years that universities are pocketing money from foreign students with suggested figures of £3bn per annum. Meanwhile, disadvantaging prospective Brit-

ish students, there may be a serious backlash against many other British universities and even further inquiries into their dealings abroad and at home.

Many students have been left with an impression of disgust towards an institution that has failed its students despite the thousands of pounds students pay for their degrees.

The aftermath of the scandal will also undoubtedly affect previous UoW graduates with the integrity of their degrees now ‘tarnished’ as a result of the chronic failings of the University.

28 universities consider reducing fees

Beth Staunton Politics Editor

It has been revealed that 28 universities are re-thinking their original decision to charge maximum tuition fees of £9,000 a year.

The Office for Fair Access (Offa), the government watchdog on access set up by Labour, recently suggested that universities could still change their access agreements to reduce fees to less than £7,500. By doing so they would be eligible to bid for a share of 20,000 funded student places, one incentive the government is offering in a bid to drive down fees.

This incentive was outlined in a government White Paper this summer, after universities had finalised their fee levels, but Offa has now given them two weeks to renegotiate their access agreements.

This sets out fee levels and the amount of money to be spent on bursaries for poorer students. Although the application process has already begun for 2012, eight universities have applied for re-negotiations, meaning that students who have already applied may find the details of their course costs altered.

None of the 28 institutions have been named, but The Courier can confirm that Newcastle University is not among them. A University

Newcastle University is not one of the 28 instituions considering reducing fees Photography: Sam Tyson spokesman said: “Newcastle University is not reviewing its fee plans for 2012. While the £9,000 annual tuition fee will remain unchanged it is important to recognise that £1,000 of each £9,000 will be reinvested into providing a range of financial support packages and widening participation activities”.

Although lower tuition fees may sound like welcome news, the National Union of Students has pointed out the negative side effects of such alterations. Access agreements, which are negotiated between indi-

vidual institutions and Offa, are designed to make sure poorer students have the same opportunities of access to universities.

One of the conditions of charging more than £6,000 fees is that institutions must outline how much money will be spent on bursaries.

The NUS warns that such lastminute re-negotiations risk allowing money to be displaced from upfront support for students.

Toni Pierce, NUS Vice President said: “Students looking to assess and compare what support will be avail-

able to them will be facing weeks of uncertainty and many will find that vital bursaries have been replaced with tokenistic fee waivers”.

News of these uncertain changes comes at the same time as the release of preliminary university application figures for 2012 which show a fall of 12% from last year.

When pushing through the vote in parliament to raise the fees maximum of £9,000, the Coalition Government insisted that fees above £6,000 would be the exception rather than the rule.

However, in the face of major losses in public funding, 47 universities, Newcastle University included, promptly decided to charge the maximum. The average fee to be charged for 2012 is currently at £8,393, and there is the fear that students will be taking out loans that they will never be able to fully repay.

The education system is now dealing with the ramifications of government decisions and the process of finding financial solutions is proving far from simple.

THE COURIER Monday October 31 2011

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Consumer champions Which? magazine to test value of degrees Rachael Moon The consumer advice magazine, Which? has announced that it is planning to launch a comprehensive guide to British Universities to be published in time for September 2012.

The magazine, known for its thorough advice when it comes to getting the best value for money, will be assessing various university attributes, such as graduate prospects.

This announcement has caused some universities and academics to express concern over damage that may be done to applications if education is potentially being treated as a consumer product.

The fear that certain universities and degree courses will suffer if they are to be judged on graduate employability becomes more prominent following the recent rise in tuition fees.

It is likely that prospective students will be more inclined to study subjects that lead them into an immediate job, especially considering the amount they’ll be paying for their education.

Nick Keeley, Director of the Careers Service at Newcastle University, disagrees with this. When asked if he was worried about prospective students

applying to the University he said: “I don’t think it’s going to affect applications very much. If anything, for an institution like Newcastle, it could only help applications.”

With the various league tables and rankings that are already in circulation, Keeley suggests that he is “not sure what more Which? can add to this”.

Anne Coxhead, Head of Marketing and Publicity at Newcastle University, further corroborated this when she told The Courier: “One new thing that we’ve made live in September 2011 is more detailed information on the job prospects for students, which is part of the course pro�ile on our website.”

To a certain extent, a particular institution or degree is independent of a graduate’s position in the job market. If you have a sporadic lecture attendance and don’t get involved in any extra-curricular activities “the chances of you getting a good job at the end aren’t very good, despite the fact that the University’s got a great record in terms of achievement.”

It is hoped that Which? magazine will not be detrimental to applications for degrees in the arts and humanities, where it is very competitive entering into the job market.

Mr Keeley is “not convinced students will make their choices in this

way.”

Keeley added: “What worries me is, I don’t see education as something you consume, students are participants rather than consumers.”

However, an Accounting student told The Courier: “Bringing future job prospects into question could be a helpful factor when deciding on a university. The league tables don’t account for the university’s links with outside companies, which are important in gaining a graduate job.”

In addition, Mr Keeley said the guide “might have more impact on parents than on students, in terms of the pressure they place in choosing the right university.”

Instead, he felt that prospective students might follow more super�icial reasons when applying as opposed to the league table rankings.

“Something like Which? should help to point out the fact that this University invests a huge amount in the student experience”.

Yet if prospective students require extra reassurance that their degree will be worthwhile and their decisions are to be made based on Which? magazine’s guide, he felt con�ident that “Newcastle has a strong story to tell in all categories that they’re likely to ask questions about.”

Which? magazine hopes to help students make informed decisions that puts them in the best possible position once they graduate Photography: Alexander Wilson

THE COURIER Monday October 31 2011

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Disabled rally against proposed benefit cuts £1 billion suspected to be cut from services and support for disabled community

The 800 strong rally started in Edinburgh’s iconic Prince’s St. Gardens Photography: charmingman

Anna Templeton

Edinburgh was stormed by a wave of 800 protestors on October 22 demonstrating against Government-proposed disability cuts.

A coalition of Scottish charities organised the rally under the ‘Hardest Hit’ campaign with the Disability Benefits Consortium (DBC) and the UK Disabled People’s Council (UKDPC) taking responsibility for leading the protests.

The charities stressed that a potential £1 billion could be cruelly slashed from the income, support and services that disabled people receive over the next 4 years. Another criticism came from the threat of ‘fit-for-work’ tests that people with disabilities may have to undertake in the future.

Pam Duncan, a boardmember of Inclusion Scotland, spoke at the rally.

She said: “Over 47 per cent of disabled people live in poverty already, yet we face not only benefit cuts but a double whammy of cuts to our services too.

“I’m in work but I, too, am terrified for my income. I stand to lose my Independent Living Fund - the very money that means that I have the support I need to get up in the morning.

“I stand to lose my mobility allowance as the new assessment system says that if I can get around in a wheelchair I’m mobile. And my community care charges are going up, I’m told, because the council doesn’t have enough money to pay the care bill well neither do I.” The rally featured a number of speakers, including: crossbench peer Lord Colin Low; Jay Wakefield, NUS Scotland Disabled Students Campaign Officer; MSP Margaret Burgess; and Scottish Labour leader Iain Gray.

There have been a number of other individuals and groups that have guar-

anteed their support for the cause.

Similar demonstrations and marches took place in 11 other cities including Birmingham, Brighton, Bristol, Leeds, London and Newcastle, showing the widespread controversy these impending cuts have created.

Scottish Health Secretary Nicola Sturgeon said: “It is clear that the UK Government’s proposed welfare reforms will have a significant impact on a range of devolved responsibilities such as health, housing, social care, childcare, employability and

services for vulnerable people.

“We have a responsibility to speak up for the vulnerable and disadvantaged members of our society.

“We all recognise that the system is broken but we need to ensure that it is reformed in a fundamentally fair

way that does not simply pass responsibility on to somewhere else in the system.”

creasing opposition from the Scottish Catholic Church in its attempts to prevent any such changes.

The Church has pledged to distribute 100,000 postcards to parishioners throughout Scotland to be sent to the Scottish Government urging them to oppose any move towards legalising same-sex marriage.

Such action is likely to make the passing of the legislation far more difficult to achieve.

Speaking to The Courier about the recent NUS Scotland campaign, Adam Watson, President of Newcastle University’s LGBT Society, said: “I think it’s brilliant that Scotland is leading the way in the UK on this important issue. For this legislation to pass successfully, it is vitally important that all groups in society support it, and the help that the NUS Scotland can provide with this cannot be understated.

“Students have the perfect opportunity here to show that they can campaign and concentrate their efforts on a worthwhile cause that affects people in every walk of life. With the cor-

rect campaigning, they can help take the LGBT community one step closer to total equality.”

Similarly, Katy Hargreaves, Welfare and Equality Officer for Newcastle University said: “Being in love and making a commitment of marriage

should be celebrated and welcomed, not restricted. I really hope this legislation does get passed, and students should get involved if they want to.

This legislation will change Scottish people’s lives, and those of the students who study there.”

With the consultation open until December 9 it is clear that, whatever the outcome, the student population has an important part to play in shaping the future for marriage equality in Scotland.

NUS Scotland urges students to back LGBT reforms Rachael Day The Scottish National Union of Students (NUS Scotland) has urged students in Scotland to back a campaign in favour of the legalisation of samesex marriage, following a recent consultation by the Scottish Government.

The consultation, launched by Deputy First Minister Nicola Sturgeon, asks the Scottish public to respond to several questions on the possibility of legalising same-sex marriage and religious marriage, whilst also considering the potential financial implications and transitional measures if the changes were accepted.

Alongside LGBT Youth Scotland, the Scottish Youth Parliament and The Equality Network, NUS Scotland has set up an online survey in the hope that student contributions will add to the responses needed to alter the existing legislation.

However, the call for student backing comes as the campaign faces in-

The Catholic Church in Scotland is actively opposing the campaign to reform LGBT rights Photography: Earthworm

8

THE COURIER Monday October 31 2011

national student news

Nightclub chain goes under with 3,000 jobs set to be lost Wills Robinson News Editor Britain’s biggest nightclub chain, owning 75 night clubs, including one where student Nabila Nanfuka, 22 died this month, has gone into administration.

Luminar, which is said to pull in around 11 million customers a year and owns branches such as Liquid (which has a chain in Newcastle), Oceana and Lava said that it was unable to meet some of its repayments, which where due on October 27.

Around 3,000 jobs are now at risk if the business can not improve its �inancial situation in the coming weeks. Even though most clubs will stay open until they can be sold, of�ice jobs could be lost in the near future.

The company recorded losses of £198m in the year to the end of Feb-

ruary as sales dropped by just under 20% to £137m.

This news comes in the same week that a 21-year-old student from Northampton, who was involved in the same stampede that killed Nanfuka, was downgraded from critical condition. However, a 19-year-old still remains in a critical state in

The company recorded losses of £198m in the year to the end of February as sales dropped by just under 20% to £137m.

Northampton General Hospital.

Last week an inquest into the death of Ms. Nanfuka heard that the student had died of traumatic crush asphyxia as staff in the ‘over-capacity’ venue ‘lost control’ as the night was coming to an end.

The Milton Keynes-based company tried to sell the business recently, but only received offers for small parts of the business, an insuf�icient method of generating their returns to shareholders.

Some of the reasons suggested behind the downfall of the company are high levels of youth unemployment and poor economic conditions. Nights such as ‘Fuzzy Logic’ did show some ‘encouraging’ signs of stability during Freshers’ Week. However, performance has been consistently under par and the company has been unable to meet its �inancial demands.

Lord Sainsbury appointed new Chancellor Johnny Farrar-Bell Cambridge University Former Cabinet minister Lord Sainsbury has been appointed the 108th chancellor of Cambridge University.

He will succeed The Duke of Edinburgh who retired earlier this year upon reaching his 90th Birthday. The peer was a student at Cambridge where he studied Philanthropy at King’s College. He then headed up his self-named supermarket chain from 1992 to 1997 before becoming Minister for Science and Innovation from 1998 to 2006. Lord Sainsbury is the �irst chancellor since 1847 to have been voted in to his position, winning 2893 out of the 5888 votes cast. He beat other candidates Brian Blessed, Michael Mans�ield QC and shopkeeper Abdul Arain to the largely ceremonial position.

Students to leave ‘Bunkcabins’ soon Lincoln University

Job Title: Community Activities Support Worker Employer: Search Project Closing date: 27.10.11 Salary: £12,323 pro rata Basic job description: A Community Activities Support Worker is required to work 18.5 hours per week based at the Search Project in Benwell. The work will include enabling local older people to improve their health and quality of life by supporting participation in community based activities and volunteering.

Person requirements: Ability to motivate and enthuse people, good communication and ability to create positive relationships are essential as well as knowledge of issues affecting older people in disadvantaged areas.

Location: Benwell, Newcastle upon Tyne.

Location: Newcastle upon Tyne.

Job Title: Sales Consultant Employer: The Fragrance Shop Closing date: 30.10.11 Salary: National Minimum Wage Basic job description: Sales Consultant required for new fragrance store working 10 hours per week. Duties include in-store demonstrations and marketing activity, stock replenishment, liaising with customers to create sales and meet targets and other general store duties.

Person requirements: Applicants will have excellent communication and numeracy skills and the ability to work within a team.

Previous retail experience preferred.

Location: Metrocentre, Gateshead.

Employer: DeafBlind Closing date: 31.10.11 Salary: £14,196 - £16,224 pro rata Basic job description: A Support Worker is required to support deaf/blind people to maintain an independent lifestyle e.g. widen the areas of experience for deaf/blind people by enabling them to make meaningful choices, reducing isolation and improving access to information, communication and mobility. Support is required across the North East of England, minimum 15 hours per week.

Person requirements: You must have minimum BSL Level 2 (British Sign Language) qualification and be a car driver with access to a vehicle.

Location: North East England.

Job Title: Domestic Assistant Employer: NHS Closing date: 27.10.11 Salary: £13,903 to £14,614 pro rata Basic job description: Part-time domestic assistant required to work 16 hours per week at the Pallion Health Centre in Gateshead.

As a domestic assistant you will be required to maintain the standard of cleanliness as specified throughout the designated work area by means of approved cleaning methods.

Person requirements: Candidates should have the ability to work individually or as part of a team and have good communication skills.

Location: Gateshead.

Job Title: School Support Staff Employer: Newcastle City Council Closing date: 03.11.11 Salary: £12,787 - £13,589 pro rata Basic job description: We are looking for a hardworking, friendly clerical assistant to work 15 hours per week at Brunton First School. Duties will include providing clerical support including some basic finance tasks.

Person requirements: Experience of word processing, reception and general administrative tasks are essential. Good interpersonal and communication skills are essential and the ability to work both independently and as a member of a team.

This post will require an enhanced certificate of disclosure.

Location: Newcastle upon Tyne.

Job Title: Sales Advisor Employer: House of Fraser Closing date: 27.10.11 Salary: National Minimum Wage Basic job description: Sales Advisor required for the Fenn Wright Manson concession with House of Fraser. This is a temporary vacancy to cover a period of maternity leave. The hours are 8 per week and will normally be evenings and weekends, although full flexibility is required. Main duties include liaising with customers, cash handling, merchandising and general store duties.

Person requirements: Applicants should have excellent customer service skills with the ability to work within a team environment.

Location: Metrocentre, Gateshead.

Job Title: Newcastle University Mentors Employer: Newcastle University Closing date: 28.10.11 Salary: £6.81 per hour Basic job description: We are seeking to recruit a team of Mentors to help raise the aspirations and attainment levels of local school/college students. This role is to support individuals and groups of students in local schools/colleges by providing a range of activities and events that support progression to higher education.

Person requirements: You must be a current Newcastle University undergraduate student preferably in the first or second year.

Job Title: Temporary Christmas staff Employer: Argos Closing date: 31.10.11 Salary: National Minimum Wage Basic job description: Christmas temps required for Argos working 4 hours per week.

Duties will include stock replenishment, liaising with customers, cash handling, meeting targets and other general store duties.

Person requirements: Applicants must have good customer service, communication and numeracy skills with the ability to work well within a team.

Location: Metrocentre, Gateshead.

Job Title: Support Worker

Job Title: Sales Consultant Employer: Next Closing date: 28.10.11 Salary: £4.98 - £6.08 per hour Basic job description: This is a part time role for 4 hours per week at the Washington store. Responsibilities include: Providing Customer Service; Working as part of the sales team in order to provide excellent customer service; Replenishing stock and maintaining high standards of merchandising and housekeeping.

Person requirements: Previous work experience in a similar environment desirable.

Location: Washington, Sunderland.

After unprecedented numbers of applications due to the coming rise in tuition fees, several hundred students at Lincoln University were forced to live in temporary accommodation.

The ‘Bunkcabins’ were little more than glori�ied portaloos according to students who had to live in the 3m2 structures. The cabins, which were located in a car park adjacent to the sports centre, each held two students and contained a �lushing toilet shower, desk and beds. The remaining students are reportedly going to be moved out into permanent accommodation in the next couple of weeks as soon as it comes available.

Fire leaves 16 students without home Oxford University

A �ire in a staircase at Christ Church College, Oxford has left the 16 students who live in the vicinity being forced to temporarily move out of their rooms due to the damage.

The blaze was reportedly started by a faulty ceiling fan in one of the bathrooms. George Huntley, one of the students affected said: “Fortunately the �ire was contained within the bathroom area and did not spread to my room – which was next door – or to anyone else’s rooms.” Fortunately no students were injured in the blaze but all those affected were given £50 in compensation and will return to their rooms once repairs are �inished in two weeks time.

Jordon talks lectures Oxford Oxford University

Beginning her career on the pages

of The Sun, followed by a stint in the jungle, the glamour model formerly known as Jordan recently addressed students at the Oxford Union.

The 33 year old former reality TV star told the massed students that she believed there should be tighter regulations on the media. She said: “There are so many things that need to be done more properly, more regulation.” She went on to say, having had her fair share of attention in the media, that she thought that the media knows “that they’re not going to destroy me”. I’m indestructible, ” she added.

Hecklers thrown out of debate Exeter University

Three rowdy members of the public were escorted out of a debate on Nuclear energy at Exeter University.

Guest speakers were repeatedly interrupted by shouting, swearing and heckling despite the repeated requests from Ben Jones, the President of DebSoc, for calm and quiet ignored.

Eventually, police were called in and the offenders removed to cheers from the audience. The motion ‘this house believes that Nuclear Power is unsafe’ was eventually won by the opposition. With four out of �ive people disagreeing with the motion, Roger Hemler, guest speaker for the opposition, commented, “I am certain the antics of those Green zealots inclined the audience against the motion”.

Facebook users told to watch for spam link Shef�ield University

Students have been advised not to repost a link on Facebook to their friends which claims to be from ASDA offering free shopping.

The link takes users to a page encouraging people to repost the offer to others. However, it is being used as a cover for scammers who are passing Facebook users’ details on to third parties for marketing purposes.

Security �irm Sophos are advising Facebook users not to click on or repost the link.

York technician found with child pornography York University

A technician at York University has been given a six-month suspended prison sentence after over 600 sexual images of children were found on his home computer.

The images were found after the police raided his home in Selby, with 41 of the images deemed ‘hardcore pornography’.

Marc Robert Smith, 37, has now taken a leave of absence from the University as he undertakes a related rehabilitation course and he will be supervised by the probation service for two years.

Despite this, the University has stated that it will not be taking any “internal disciplinary action” as a result of the incident.

Comment

9

THE COURIER Monday October 31 2011

thecourieronline.co.uk/comment

Comment Editors Sophie McCoid and Susie May Beever Online Comment Editor Jack Torrance courier.comment@ncl.ac.uk

Were we right to publish footage of Gadda�i’s death?

Laura Wotton

Yes

T

his week’s media coverage of the Libyan dictator’s dead body has accumulated a universal controversy as to whether such graphic exposure should have seeped onto our screens.

Gadda�i’s capture in Sirte and subsequent death on the October 20 plunged the world into a frenzied polemic that has left media corporations such as the BBC battered by critics’ complaints. Yet, if I am to assume the role of devil’s advocate here, why should such exposure be criticised?

Of course there have been parental protests about bloodied bodies headlining the 6 o’clock news; of course we must consider the potentially damaging qualities of these pictures to young children. I do not deny that the media has perhaps been excessive

in the immense distribution of such footage, and I do not condemn opinions that a more sensitive ‘�iltering system’ should have been enforced.

Yet I would defend the BBC and other corporations on the following counts: For one I believe that for the greater good of Libya, our sensitivities in the West should be side-lined. Surely there’s no one who can turn a blind eye to the ruthlessness of Gadda�i’s reign of terror which sidelined ‘political enemies’ into perfunctory trials.

Nor is there reason to suppress the revelation that has occurred in Libya as a result of the Gadda�i regime’s collapse. The pictures and footage, although undeniably gruesome, pronounce to the world in clear terms the end of a period haunted by inequality and injustice. Editorially, news stations and newspapers were justi�ied in communicating these dramatic events that stand as a landmark in Libyan history.

There is, of course, no doubt that Gadda�i deserved every punishment in the penal system, and through the media we are experiencing a revenge of some sort. Con�irmation of Gadda�i’s death alone is not enough, it is the crumbling of his status through his mutilated appearance that reeks some sort of reprisal. His iconic image of power is, through media input, reduced to an object of ridicule and

victimisation, a concept that can be seen to restore peace upon a previously victimised country. Even after the Battle of Tripoli and capture of his stronghold of Bab al-Azizia in August this year, many Libyan citizens could not shake the fear of Gadda�i’s return and so such a powerful, universal con�irmation will be met with their long-awaited sense of relief.

It comes as no surprise that the BBC came under heavy �ire on the release of such shocking images, yet surely such exposure was vital in dispelling the many rumours that surrounded Gadda�i’s death? Such pictorial evidence speaks clearly; the threat has been removed and justice restored.

200,000 or so Tunisians, vital as ‘human resources’ in Libya, fearfully �led from the country in February this year. Yet this week, with universal media evidence of the dictator’s death and the collapse of the Gadda�i regime, they may now fearlessly return, restoring stability, instigating reconstruction and once more aiding the greater development of Libya.

The footage and pictures become a means for transitional leaders to feel relief, supporters of the Gadda�i regime to feel fear and for the whole world to wake up to the possibility of a new era of Libyan history.

Footage of Gaddafi’s death was broadcast around the world - but was our interest morally flawed?

Photography: Abode of Chaos (Flickr)

Kathryn Riddell

No

D

espite the media coverage that was being transmitted around the world last week, I had managed to avoid the images and footage of Gadda�i’s death. I would have kept it that way but for the purposes of this article I have now witnessed the shocking public murder.

Of course, it did not make for pleasant viewing. But that hasn’t stopped almost four million people from watching the grisly footage on just one YouTube video.

YouTube isn’t the only place displaying these images, with news channels repeatedly displaying still photos of the dead body. Google Images shows the bloodied corpse to anyone who searches for ‘Gadda�i dead’ and even the front pages of national newspapers have been displaying the graphic photos for everyone to view.

Now I have seen these images in their full, uncensored detail, I can argue with certainty that they should not have been shown, especially not in such an easily accessible way.

Everybody is aware that Gadda�i was a tyrant who terrorised his people. At the very least he deserved to have his dictatorship overthrown and to be put on trial for his crimes.

Instead, he was murdered, and although my objection is not necessarily with his death (that is an entirely different moral issue), it is the de�ilement of his corpse and the need of the media to broadcast this that is disgusting. Surely, to revel in Gadda�i’s treatment would be on a moral par with the actions of the man himself.

The events of last week were an eerie reminder of the death of Iraqi leader Saddam Hussein. Footage of his hanging was released on the internet and condemned by political leaders internationally as serving no pur-

pose other than to satisfy sick blood lusts. Gadda�i’s death should not be treated any differently.

Although we do live in a society where we are entitled to a free press, we cannot forget that those rights come with responsibilities. To parade these images in front of the general public including the young and impressionable is simply dangerous, as desensitisation to such violence becomes more common.

And after all, Libya is now on the verge of establishing a new government and the future of the country is uncertain and remains unstable.

But no matter what is decided in the coming weeks, the footage showing the desecration of Gadda�i’s body has heralded what should have been a new start, away from the violent past.

Ultimately, the portrayal of Gadda�i’s body served no purpose.

Libya’s bloody history should have ended the moment Gadda�i had been overthrown. The consequence of the recent media images is that Libya’s new political standing will continue to be branded with the barbarism of the old regime.

What next for Libya?

So Libya has evidently been freed its predecessing tyrannical dictator overthrown as his crumbling plan to defend himself caved in on itself. A taste of his own medicine one might say; others may beg to differ. However, now that Gadda�i’s country is no longer Gadda�i’s country, but the people’s. And so the people must decide what their own future will be.

We can pick and pick at the regime in which he was tried, and whether it was right or wrong. But to what extent? Now the ex-leader has been buried and banished to a memory, it is important to focus on the up and coming; it is unlikely to be pleasant, with chances of civil war and further unrest. However, the path to democracy will unlikely be through conformation to the Western and secular ways. Let us remember that when we interfered with Afghanistan and Iraq, this was hardly a success in itself. In the wake of such a pivotal moment within the Arab Spring, it is clear that Libya must �ind its own feet.

Susie May Beever Comment Editor

Why an EU referendum isn’t necessary Jack Torrance Online Comment Editor

M

ay’s AV referendum was a textbook example of how �lawed referenda can be. Whether you were pleased with its outcome or not, I think anybody would struggle to suggest that the result was a product of rigorous debate and the well-informed will of the peo-

ple. No, that referendum was decided by incredibly dogmatic campaigning, a largely biased press and by a disengaged electorate on a low turnout.

If something as simple as a minor change in the voting system can become such a circus, what hope is there for a well-made decision on something as intricate as the EU? Even speaking as a third-year politics student, the EU is a mountain of complexities with many different facets, the sum of which can be dif�icult to get one’s head around.

We have a system of elected representatives for a reason. The day to day business of state and the �iner details of political issues are not something

which can be learnt just by reading the Daily Mail. In no realm of politics is this truer than of the EU, whose mere existence is demonised daily in the tabloid press. From my perspective it is for this reason that our MPs, whose whole job it is to engage with these issues, are best placed to make these decisions on our behalf.

But even if we were to accept that referenda can be a good way of making decisions, why have one on the EU? Is it really such a burning issue?

Many of those with a fanatical opposition to Britain’s EU membership have a tendency to assume that the public feel the same way that they do. UKIP leader Nigel Farage, for in-

stance, suggested that a referendum on the issue is something that the British people “desperately crave”.

Although a majority of voters do indeed appear to support a referendum, Ipsos Mori �igures published earlier this month shed a lot more light on the public’s opinion. When asked to list what they saw to be among the most important issues facing the UK today, just 4% of respondents said the European Union. In contrast, many raised concern over the state of the economy, public services and crime.

What’s more, the argument that the electorate has had absolutely no say in continued participation with Europe is demonstrably false. In the

2010 general election voters overwhelmingly rejected UKIP and the British National Party, the two most prominent parties whose manifesto promised an in/out vote on the EU. The only party currently sitting in Parliament who did promise a referendum in their 2010 manifesto are Northern Ireland’s DUP, who hold a mere 8 out of 650 seats. Voters’ largescale rejection of Eurosceptic parties at the ballot box says a lot about the public’s indifference to the issue.

At a time of enduring economic and social dif�iculties, should parliament really be focusing its effort on what is quite clearly a fringe issue? I think not.

10

THE COURIER Monday October 31 2011

comment

This week I’ve learnt...

Becky Orwin

...to stop leaving things until the last minute.

Okay, let’s be fair – this is a lesson I’ve learnt a hundred times over the past few years, and yet it never quite seems to sink in. I’m not really a living-on-the-edge kind of person, but I most de�initely am a Mondaymorning-deadline-is-a-Sunday-nightproblem kind of person. This has (as it inevitably does) blown up in my face this week.

This is my �irst week of University in which I’ve had deadlines, which more or less means – I’m sorry to say – that it’s the �irst week of University in which I’ve actually done some work.

Gone are the days of staggering out of bed at noon and spending the day drinking tea with friends, catching up with slightly embarrassing TV programmes, getting ready to go out and making the all-important decision of where we should pre-drink.

Today, I had to set my alarm for the ungodly hour of nine o’clock (gasp) in order to write this – though, if I’m honest, I kept hitting the snooze button for a good forty minutes – in order to meet my midday deadline.

Now that’s a bit too �ly-by-the-seatof-your-pants, even for me. My excuse is that it took me a while to come up with an idea for the column this week (poor).

I have the �irst deadline for one of my modules on Friday – of which I’ve currently completed two and a half out of six tasks. This was �ine as long as I could ask my course friends how far along they were and receive a lot of guilty mumbles and muttering in return – last night, unfortunately, they all proudly crowed that they were �inished. Oh dear.

My excuse is that I’ve had to spend a lot of time reading (extremely poor).

Finally, I have my �irst essay deadline next week, which would be next week’s problem, were it not for the fact that I’m spending a large part of next week at home, visiting my family. This means that I have to deal with next week’s deadline this week, which basically means lack of sleep.

I know I should have thought about this sooner, planned in advance and managed my time properly and blah, blah, blah. I didn’t, and I’m paying for it. This week, no leisurely café-visits, no BBC iPlayer, no sitting in the library and going on Facebook (that way it looks like I’m doing something potentially useful, you see), and absolutely no going out.

But, I have only myself to blame (weird, how in my head I always hear that in my old Spanish teacher’s voice…). And to be honest, I say that this week I’ve learnt not to leave things until the last minute, but I have every con�idence it’s a lesson I will have conveniently forgotten within a fortnight. But will knowing this make difference to my time management?

Probably not, no.

Fee hikes will still deter students from uni Peter Campbell

T

he �irst UCAS statistics for applications under the new funding system have been announced, and the results show a signi�icant drop in applications. The �igures are very concerning, with a 12% drop in overall applications compared to this time last year.

The obvious reason for this drop is the trebling of university tuition fees.

Most universities (including Newcastle) are now charging £9,000 a year and even with all the bursaries and fee waivers taken into account the average cost of a degree in England for next year’s entrants will be £8,161.

The sharp drop, even worse if you look at particular demographics such as mature students where UCAS has seen applications crash 25%, has sent alarm bells ringing through universities across the country. Goldsmiths has been contacted by 35% less applicants, Brunel University by 24% less.

These �igures have sent universities scurrying to make up for lost places. 1/5th of universities have now contacted the Of�ice for Fair Access (OFFA), the government body tasked with overseeing tuition fee levels, to ask about reducing fee levels to £7,500, only 6 months after setting fee levels in the �irst place.

It’s too early to assess the full impact of the lifting of the cap on tuition fees.

What is clear, however, is that many students are now re-evaluating university education. A BBC/ComRes survey suggests as many as one in ten A-level students are now reconsidering their choice to attend university.

The changes once again appear to be hitting the North of England hardest, with the increased fees having more of an affect in the North East, Yorkshire and the East Midlands, than in London or the South East.

David Willets, Education Minister, stands resolute in the face of these �igures: “Going to university depends on ability, not the ability to pay”.

While Wendy Piatt, Director General of the Russell Group, claims that the top 20 universities in the country

would be “pumping millions more into �inancial support over the coming years” and that “Students should certainly not be put off university by the new fees and funding system. If you’re good enough to get in, you can afford to go”.

However, the facts do not sustain these claims. The average cost of a degree, with all available supports included, is still over £8,000 and it’s clear from the �igures that those most likely to be �inancially affected by the decision to study for a degree are being put off.

While tuition fees continue to grab the headlines, there are many issues facing young people in education. The

parallels between higher education, free schools and the reforms of the NHS are clear. The government’s ideology forces a decrease in public provision of services by pushing private providers into our public services.

Academies are being encouraged to use private providers whereas state schools would use the Local Authority. In the NHS the Health and Social Care Bill will force GPs to offer private services alongside NHS services. In Higher Education we see the force of the market through new private institutions, such as AC Grayling’s £18,000 New College of the Humanities.

So what can be done? Nye Bevan, founder of the NHS, once said of the

NHS: “It will survive as long as there are folk left with the faith to �ight for it.” I believe that higher education is the same. Those of us at university must �ight to defend an education system which is one of the best in the world. If we allow it to be eroded from within, we will all suffer.

The NUS together with Newcastle University Students’ Union and other students’ unions around the country are organising a demonstration in London on November 9. Tickets cost £10 and can be bought in the Students’ Union Building. We must all make our voices heard to defend our education system.

Students protesting against extortionate fee hikes last year.

Photography: iangbl (Flickr)

Government proposes three day hangover

Morgan Ayre

U

nless you’ve been out of the country for the past several years, you’ll be aware of the constant warnings and criticisms made by the government, health agencies and the media on Britain’s drinking culture. The dangers and advice are everywhere but whether we choose to pay attention or not is another matter.

Aside from the government’s recommendation of 2-3 units for women and 3-4 units for men on a daily basis,

the Royal College of Physicians has now put forward more guidelines; it wants the government to adopt on how to enjoy alcohol sensibly. This latest suggestion is to completely avoid alcohol for three days after a particularly heavy session, so your liver can recover.

The idea is actually quite appealing as it saves on money, time de-tagging un�lattering Facebook photos, and it is also a creative way to cover up our lack of stamina on a night out. We really do drink far too much, all for the sake of what we think is a good time that we may or may not remember the next day.

Despite this call to tone it down a bit, it’s highly improbable that people will listen to doctors, especially students. Freshers’ Week is the ultimate student party week and a time when �irst years are desperate to make friends. With many choosing to

get to know their newfound chums by drinking heavily on a daily basis, and enjoying the lowered inhibitions that inevitably follow.

Considering Freshers’ Week is only a week long, students will not want to compromise their social life or put their new friends off them simply because doctors think they should have a rest or are causing damage to their liver.

Even beyond Freshers’ Week the constant desire to go out and drink does not disappear. Second and third years are equally susceptible to the in�luence of a Sinner’s treble, or �ive.

Especially in Newcastle, famous for premiership football, cheap drinks and Geordie Shore.

The city’s vibrant nightlife has something to offer every night of the week and people simply don’t want to miss out or have other people think they’re boring.

Going out every night doesn’t have to be an issue if people stay within their limits and don’t go crazy. However, some people would argue that if you’re not wasted you’re not having a good time, but it is possible to enjoy yourself without necking several trebles back in a row seven days a week.

Students and the population in general can enjoy themselves on one of their alcohol-free evenings by being inventive with what they do. There are plenty of events on, in and around the University and city that you can have a good time at, with the added bonus of avoiding downing copious amounts of water and paracetamol the next day to ward off your hangover. Lion King 3D anyone? Either way, alcohol is a good way to unwind and enjoy ourselves, but maybe if we slowed down a bit now our bodies will thank us for it later.

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THE COURIER Monday October 31 2011

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Dead-icated to continuing the world’s zombie craze Deborah Todd and Hazel Parnell

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rom Dawn of the Dead to Shaun of the Dead to Call of Duty, zombies have been infecting our screens for years, and now our streets, as 3,000 zombie wannabes stalked their way through the city of Brighton last weekend.

Emerging in their thousands, the un-dead of Brighton took to the streets zombied-up with ghoulish make-up and rags. The reason for this march could be summed up by a comment from a participant zombie who simply replied “It’s just for fun”.

The zombie craze has gnawed down the barrier between Halloween and reality and has now crept into our everyday lives. Thanks to the ‘Nazi zombies’ of Call of Duty, despite the age restriction, people as young as 10 years old are welcoming zombies into their lives and to contaminate their culture. Chris Liddell, an 11-yearold enthusiast of the video game, remarked: “I like it when the blood splatters across the screen when I kill a zombie”.

This begs the question though, is our obsession with the ‘living dead’ healthy? Does it suggest a deep-rooted obsession with the dead, or even a possible desire to be dead? Or do people simply like to dress up scarily and one night a year at Halloween just isn’t enough? Cultural theorists have argued for years that this obsession with the un-dead could cause abnormal behaviour in children through the video games they play. But surely these games are created due to the recognition that zombies have become a cultural phenomenon.

The website ‘Crawl of the dead’ aims to unite 1,705 registered zombielovers across the world in organised ‘crawls’. Not only do these take place in most major UK cities, including Newcastle, but also across America,

Canada and Germany. Organised events such as ‘Zombie parade’ and ‘Night of the drinking dead’ attract the elite members of the zombie community and have been running for up to nine years. Could something more profound be seen lurking behind this obsession, or is it just a bit of brainless fun?

A man to agree with the former would be Dr. Marcus Leaning of Winchester University. Speaking to the BBC he argues that “Zombies are in-

credibly popular; the growth is phenomenal - not only are they in �ilms, TV shows and fan productions on YouTube, but there’s a vast growth in books, with ‘zombie survival guides’ selling very, very well on Amazon”.

Whilst ‘professional communication’ and ‘heritage studies’ are modules offered on the Media Studies course at Newcastle University, the University of Winchester has taken a more twisted approach to the course by boasting a module dead-icated entirely to zom-

bies. Spooky.

Undoubtedly, tonight the streets, trebles bars, and clubs of Newcastle will be plagued with ghosts and ghouls of all descriptions as Halloween gets into full swing. However, although most �ind it socially unacceptable to dress as a zombie at any other time of the year, there is quite clearly a portion of the population who would beg to differ. It’s granted that zombies are indeed a little scary, but whether they actually offer a re-

�lection of the monotony and emptiness within our modern day lives may be a little far-fetched. So, bearing this in mind, what are you all dressing up as tonight?

Emails in response to the articles should be sent to editor.union@ncl.ac.uk

A crowd of zombies shamble past Newcastle central station in an organised ‘zombie crawl’ Photography: Eric Neilsen (Flickr)

Which?: Dishwashers, DVD players and now degrees?

Jack Lofgren

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he well-known magazine Which? is, after its 54-year history of reviewing blenders and mobile phones on behalf of consumers, to start a review of British universities. This is not at all surprising as degrees at unis have become increasingly commoditised.

Indeed, the question on everyone’s mind when applying to a university is, where will it get me in �ive years?

Even the seemingly innocent everyday phrase used to describe your university education - that you’re ‘investing in yourself’ - has an unmistakable capitalistic twang to something that should not be subjected to the marketplace.

Now don’t get me wrong, I’m as

much a capitalist as anyone, so don’t write me off as a Che-worshipping idealistic pamphleteer. Education should not be offered only based on economic circumstance, but that’s exactly how education is distributed now. This is partly because of the huge number of people who wish to attend university and the impractical weight the job market has placed on university degrees, and partly because of the large amount of budget cuts that are burdening young people disproportionately.

The fact that the public sector is becoming a marketplace, where universities compete with each other to offer the best experience to the students, tantalising as it sounds, infantilises the students’ minds. Instead of universities focusing on education— on imparting knowledge and virtue to students—they will focus on two things that have nothing to do with the students’ well-being. They will �irstly focus on the ‘student experience’ (e.g. unions, cafes, nightclubs, etc.), in order to attract the students on a societal level. Secondly, instead of striving to impart knowledge and

virtue upon students, they will focus on faculty research and hiring highpro�ile intellectuals. This would be in order to raise the esteem of their university and thus make the degree more valuable as a commodity in the job market. Neither of these two things have anything at all to do with

How does the government expect to grow an economy if, in order to progress beyond the lower class, you must have a degree that is unaffordable beyond all measure to common people? imparting knowledge and virtue onto their students. Indeed, under our current model of universities fuelled by capitalism, the students’ minds and well-being are in the periphery.

Another problem the capitalistic

model of higher education poses for us is that it forces the student to ask, rightly, how is this class preparing me for my career? In essence, it forces students to question the pragmatism of what they study, which can lead to dissonance and con�lict when these students enter classrooms in the arts and humanities or other nonpragmatic disciplines. Even worse, it can encourage arts and humanities classes to unnaturally contort their teaching into some bizarre thing that only half resembles what it originally was in order to prove the ‘real world application’ of art or poetry or philosophy.

And this isn’t all that’s plaguing higher education. You need a degree in order to get any kind of well-paying, desirable career. This is indisputable. It is quite perplexing, then, to think, when a degree is more integral than ever in assuring young people of a middle-class income, that the government has allowed unis to charge up to £9000. How does the government expect to grow an economy if, in order to progress beyond the lower class, you must have a degree that is

unaffordable beyond all measure to common people? The most concerning thing about the recent budget cuts has been their grossly disproportionate approbation toward humanities degrees in favour of STEM degrees, because, of course, STEM degrees have a high value in the job market, whereas humanities degrees don’t (or haven’t any at all!). These are the sad truths of higher education today, where knowledge and virtue are important insomuch as they can produce a well-paying job and, ultimately, the almighty pound The philosopher John Stuart Mill puts it much more eloquently: “Universities are not intended to teach the knowledge required to �it men for some special mode of gaining their livelihood. Their object is not to make skillful lawyers, or physicians, or engineers, but capable and cultivated human beings… Men are men before they are lawyers or physicians, or merchants, or manufacturers, and if you make them capable and sensible men, they will make themselves capable and sensible lawyers or physicians.”

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THE COURIER Monday October 31 2011

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Best of this week’s online responses Re: 5 Reasons Why…Bruno Mars has ruined everything for everyone Confused male: I’m struggling to understand the aim of this column.

Are you picking out this artist individually or relating him to the general world of music as a whole? Despite not being a fan of Bruno Mars in the slightest, I consider him a fairly decent entertainer, and can pick out more frustrating artists to listen to, such as Beyonce who only ever seems to sing about the downfalls of men and their wrong-doings.

As for ‘The Lazy Song’ being whacky nonsense, I recall some of the greatest songwriters ever producing songs even more weird, namely a certain band from Liverpool singing about being a Walrus and living in a Yellow Submarine, or Nirvana telling people that they ‘Smell Like Teen Spirit’. I know, Bruno Mars cannot be put into the category of these artists, however it can be demonstrated that not many songs seem to contain lyrics of the norm.

As for the hats, you seemed to answer the problem yourself by naming many examples of hats in music being influential – the artists are wearing them to demonstrate their personality and style, so whether that’s Bruno Mars with his straw hats, or Noddy Holder’s Mirrored Top Hat; most of the time, the performers seem to be indoors so the issue of it not functioning as a hat are taken out of the question.

I think the artist in question here may have been analysed unfairly and may have not ruined EVERYTHING for EVERYONE, as it seems

he has quite a number of fans around the world.

Criticism of people with celebrity status such as ‘Jedward’, Paris Hilton, or other talentless wellknown stars can be brought about fairly, as they seem to have contributed little on their way to becoming famous, however somebody such as Bruno Mars, with a couple of Number 1 hits, and nominations for rather large awards, may not be so valid, just because you find his hat annoying.

Re: The Good, The Bad and The Ugly: This week’s who’s hot and who’s not

James: @Confused male: I really hope you’re not being serious in questioning the aim of the article.

It’s just an entertaining piece designed to be humourous (which it is). Bruno Mars has obviously not ruined everything for everyone otherwise the World would have ended, which it has not. Like you say, the writer could have picked any number of ‘artists’ to write a similar piece about, he just happens to have chosen Bruno Mars.

Also, it’s the most read article on the website, so it must be bringing joy to plenty of people.

It’s just a shame you don’t seem to be one of them.

Re: Shorthand: LGBT

Samuel: This is brilliant. I couldn’t agree more about the hat thing as well, it is a pet hate of mine. (also, I prefer Jedward to Mars as they, knowingly or not, take the p*ss out of the system where as Bruno is just another over-egoed american who sings through his nose)

DCA: Well argued, that’s precisely why murray is always going to have the better of Henman. He is a winner. Not necessarily very pleasant or media friendly but a winner. You have it just right, Lucy Williams. At last, a sports journalist who understands sport.

Adam Watson (President, Newcastle University LGBT society: As the person who requested this article and arranged for the writer to attend the social I feel it is necessary that I also respond to some concerns that I have recieved over the tone and content of the piece.

Some of you may disagree with what I am about to say and if this is so I am happy to have a further debate at any one of our socials, such as the general meeting this Wednesday.

One of the aims of the Courier this year is to give diversity groups a larger presence in the paper. This article was the first part of many collaborations between the LGBT society and the paper, society members already know about the next interesting article that will be appearing soon.

When we were discussing the article and its aims with the editor it was always abundantly clear it would be light hearted, humerous and attempt to break down stereotypes by highlighting the extremes and discussing how they are

not true. I thought this to be a good idea and hoped everyone would be able to see its intentions.

On the night I spoke to the writers at length about the article, their role and the society. I can absolutely garuntee you they had no bad intentions and are definatley not homophobic in any way. In @one, to me at least, they seemed at ease and at times even looked like they were having fun… I mean who wouldn’t.

We discussed this article at a committee meeting, it was unanimously agreed it was light hearted, funny and did not intend to cause offence. We would like to extend our thanks to the courier for including us and look forward to working closely in the future.

Re: Get the lowdown on safe sex at University: are people loving without gloving?

Anonymous: “You want to be a free spirit and just enjoy the ride until you hit adulthood and learn of emotions and commitment” It’s nice to know that after gaining 2 A* and 1 A at A-Level, caring for my chronically disabled mum, taking a year out in the working world and gaining a place into the 12th best university in the UK, I’m still not an adult nor considered to have emotions… possibly the most ridiculous sentence I have ever read which undermines an otherwise fair and informative article.

To respond to this week’s articles visit

thecourieronline.co.uk

The Dale Farce Paddy McHugh

Y

ou could compile volumes of opinion about the recent eviction of travellers from Dale Farm, yet no matter what stance people take, they always seem to fall into one of two categories.

There are those who, like the members of Residents Against Inappropriate Development, have an unnatural obsession with development law. To people like these, supporting the eviction of 80-plus families of travellers from the illegal sites at Dale Farm appears to be nothing more than a legal matter; they have, after all, developed properties while disobeying laws that most others follow without hassle. Do people really deserve to have an entire neighbourhood built in their community without their own backing? But this is only half the story.

The other category that people so easily allow themselves to stand for can be typi�ied by the likes of Owen Jones, poster-boy for pseudo-intellectuals everywhere. His blog proclaims in a stereotypical (yet somehow inimitable) way that “what we’re seeing take place at Dale Farm… is the culmination of years of intolerance”. People taking Jones’ perspective see the eviction at Dale Farm as the practical consequence of a deeply ingrained social inequality. There are even statistics to back up this claim; for example, 90% of planning applications from travellers are rejected, compared to 20% overall.

But when the proposed developments are the type of grotesque caravan/house combinations that Paddy from My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding would be proud of, can you really blame councils for rejecting the proposals?

Yet I can’t help but feeling that Jones is right, but for all the wrong reasons. The face-off at Dale Farm is down to intolerance, but from

travellers as well as the wider community.

Today the word ‘traveller’ is a misnomer.

A number of factors have forced the travelling community to abandon travelling and live mostly in one place, yet they remain a close-knit community. The problem is that because of their nomadic past it is not hard to see the vast cultural differences between travellers and, say, the people of Basildon (whose council district Dale Farm falls under).

The intolerance from normal society is for this reason to be expected, but surely, moving into a community, the travellers cannot expect to be treated with great respect if they intend to carry on living as they always have, in an area with its own established values and way of life.

So to bring this back to the issue of Dale Farm, in order for travellers to be accepted by a community, they must �irst be allowed to live there. Was there suf�icient reason to move 80-odd families, simply because they hadn’t been granted permission by the council? Perhaps. But with the recent revelation that the total cost of the eviction could be £18m, can a few years of social con�lict and a mere 6-acres of Green Belt be given this price tag? In reality, the eviction at Dale Farm has solved nothing; it has simply transformed a local concern into a national

Residents of Dale Farm, pictured before the eviction. Photography: The Advocacy Project (Flickr)

Free Thinking Festival special Your guide to the weekend’s events plus exclusive interviews

Jimmy Wales, founder of Wikipedia

Jack Thorne, writer of The Fades, Skins and Mis�its

lifestyle fashion music film arts careers

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artsfreethinkingfestival

Free Thinking Festival 2011 Taking place for another year at The Sage this weekend, get ready to embrace thought-provoking talks, debates and performance around the topic of change Have you ever wanted to challenge William Hague on his politics? Or discuss how Germaine Greer has changed her view on feminism so many times?

Well, BBC Radio 3 is now giving you the chance, with the Cultural Free Thinking Festival beginning on Thursday evening.

Don’t be put off by the fact it is run by BBC Radio 3 - this festival promises to inspire, frustrate and confuse us with the topic of change. This annual festival has returned to The Sage Gateshead for a weekend of thought-provoking talks, debates and performance.

The speakers, performers and actors involved will explore how change mania is

This festival promises to inspire, frustrate and confuse us

sweeping the globe and what it will mean for our everyday lives, with Wikipedia founder Jimmy Wales, Germaine Greer, William Hague, Susie Orbach, Margaret Drabble, and live original drama by Skins writer Jack Thorne.

Tickets for all events are FREE so you have no excuse to get a bit of culture in your lives and open your eyes up to the world of change.

To book call The Sage Gateshead on 0191 443 4661 or visit www.thesagegateshead. org. Standby tickets will be available on the day.

Francis Wells

The Verb

What goes well together? Art and maybe literature? Drama? Dance?

No. Art and medicine, according to Dr Francis Wells, one of Britain’s top heart surgeons and apparent art enthusiast.

You may have seen this guy on Channel 4 performing live open-heart surgery, but I hadn’t heard of him, so naturally turned to Google.

The sort of art he enjoys is the sort of art you’d imagine a doctor to like. For example The ‘anatomical drawings’ of da Vinci. They are beautifully drawn, of course, but I kind of feel they’re just an incredibly talented way of representing what’s there. Why not take a photo? I’ll go along and see what he’s got to say - you never know, maybe shading and tone are of great importance to heart surgeons?

November 5, Hall Two, The Sage, 4-5pm Clare Deal

Hosted by Poet Ian McMillan, this evening is �illed with big names from a number of �ields.

As well as a live performance from Maximo Park, there will be poetry from Jackie Kay, Sean O’Brien and W.N Herbert and a talk by the David Almond, author of children’s book Skellig - who also happened to have been awarded an honorary degree from Newcastle University this year.

It is undoubtably going to be brilliant, and a rare opportunity to see such talent entirely for free.

November 5, Hall Two, The Sage, 7.308.30pm, Clare Deal

Music Matters

Words and Music

How has music changed the world? This question will be debated by a panel of classical experts and �igureheads in music. Presenter Tom Service will challenge a panel of judges to decide in which ways music has impacted on the world. The panel will include: Pamela Rosenburg, former director of San Franciso Opera and the Berlin Philharmonic; composer Christopher Fox; and musicologist Christopher Page.

November 5, Northern Rock Foundation Hall, The Sage, 12-1pm Sally Priddle

An evening of music, poetry and prose.

All centred on the theme of ‘change’.

Think Shakespeare, Shelley, Soprano and you can’t go too far wrong. It’s apparently award-winning and atmospheric; I imagine it to be the sort of evening where you leave with a contented hum in your mind and �illed with vague philosophical ponderings.

November 4, WNorthern Rock Foundation Hall, The Sage, 8.30-10pm Clare Deal

THE COURIER Monday October 31 2011

thecourieronline.co.uk/arts c2.arts@ncl.ac.uk

THE COURIER Monday October 31 2011

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Speed Dating With a Thinker

Germaine Greer The Problem With Freedom Freedom – the hippy dream, the aim, the goal, the lifestyle. I always �igured ‘freedom’ was how I wanted to live - I never really thought it through in much depth, just a vague ‘yeaaah man, freedom, that’s a pretty sweet way of life’. I only actually stopped to consider what ‘freedom’ meant when I found myself completely free , having dropped out of uni and with no job, no commitments, no – nothing. It was basically just incredibly lonely. I rearranged my whole mindset in those few months and decided I loved commitments, obligations, routine. I’ve mellowed out now to a happy middle, but the idea of freedom, while extraordinarily seductive on the one hand, also �ills me with an uneasy dread.

Germaine Greer, inspired by the Janis Joplin lyrics ‘Freedom’s just another word for nothing left to lose’, is exploring the problem with freedom; what it means to be free, whether government- or dictator-funded monuments to ‘freedom’ can be considered as anything but fascist, and whether the sixties were as ‘free’ and arty as they’re seen. Greer has a name for being controversial and argumentative but mostly for being exciting. I can’t wait to see what she has to say; this is a talk by one of the most successful feminists of all time on freedom – and it’s completely free to go and see it, pretty perfect really.

November 6, Hall Two, The Sage, 12-1.15pm Clare Deal

No GSOH or BDSM, this is speed dating with a difference. It seems a pretty cool idea – basically you get 2 minutes with a ‘thinker’ who has an idea for the future that they’re waiting to seduce you with. I listened to last year’s on iPlayer and the buzz of conversations in the background had such a festival feel to it; there’s a de�inite sense of excitement in the hum of ideas. Obviously 2 minutes is not a lot of time, just long enough to get excited by a snippet of thought but short enough to not get bored at all. My favourite from last year was W.N. Herbert who thought poetry should be used more in day to day life; he came up with a little rhyme to illustrate his point: Dear friends who are gathered here today, the big idea I have to say, My one despair is a whiny point; the world and the poem spin out of joint For why should prose so dominate the press of Parliament’s debate?

When every ad, each football crowd, proclaims rhyme’s virtues right out loud.

A couple of the others I liked were that everyone should live as a member of the opposite sex for one month, a painter laureate should be appointed and the House of Lords should be run as rolling jury – a House of People. No idea what will come up this year, but it may just make you see the world in a slightly different light.

November 6, The Squires Lounge, The Sage, 3.45-4.45pm Clare Deal

William Hague Although mentioning the Conservatives isn’t always the wisest thing around students these days, perhaps that is the very reason why a speech from the former Conservative leader might be of interest. Hague, now the British Foreign Secretary and First Secretary of State, will be discussing his political philosophy, the dramatic changes taking place throughout the globe, and Britain’s role in this changing world order.

November 5, Hall 2, The Sage, 11am12.15pm Sally Priddle

A Summer Night Written by Jack Thorne, the writer of The Fades, Mis�its, Skins, Shameless and This is England ’86, this play promises to be a hit with young people everywhere, as Thorne has cornered the market in cult dramas. A Summer Night was written speci�ically for the Free Thinking Festival to be performed live from the Baltic. Set during the riots, the play tells three personal stories from the night when the capital changed shape.

The London riots were hard to miss, as our capital was taken over by some of the most disruptive violence it has seen in years. A policeman on duty, a carer trying to get to her patient and a teenager on a night out are the characters featured in Thorne’s play. As the play unfolds the characters’ paths cross and collide in the most unexpected ways. A Summer Night attempts to make you rethink your thinking.

November 6, The Baltic, 8.45-10pm Sally Priddle

Jimmy Wales As the founder of Wikipedia, does anyone deserve more thanks and respect from students? Although you are never allowed to use Wikipedia in essays, I doubt there is anyone who hasn’t looked something up using this goldmine of wonderfully weird information.

Wikipedia is forever expanding, with over 19 million free articles, and is one of the internet’s top �ive websites. Jimmy Wales has revolutionised our access to information and this is a rare opportunity to hear the man Time Magazine names one of the most in�luential people give his vision of how the internet will continue to radically alter our world.

November 4, Hall 2, The Sage, 6.307.45pm Sally Priddle

Kevin Fong

Sarah-Jayne Blakemore

NASA’s space shuttle �leet was retired earlier this year, the historic �inal mission of Atlantis on July 21 drawing a 30 year exploratory program to a close. BBC2 presenter and space medicine expert Kevin Fong is a leading advocate of a second space age, and speaks out in reaction to the event. His talk, ‘Why We Should Not Retire From The Final Frontier’, argues that now is not the right time to turn our back on space exploration. He also suggests that the decline of NASA’s prominence is an opportunity for Britain to become paramount in space science; as co-director of the Centre for Aviation Space and Extreme Environment Medicine, one probably wouldn’t argue with him. This shouldn’t be missed.

November 5, Northern Rock Foundation Hall, The Sage, 6-7pm Mark Atwill

Being a teenager is tough. You are branded as moody, dif�icult and lazy, but is it really your fault? Professor of Cognitive Neuroscience at University College London Sarah-Jayne Blakemore argues that it is time to change the way we think about the teenager’s place in society. A proli�ically published expert in social cognitive processes (action-understanding, mentalising, emotion-processing), her talk, ‘What’s Going On In The Teenage Brain?’, describes her novel research into the developmental physiology of the adolescent brain, and the rapid changes that may explain some of the characteristics associated with tumultuous teens.

If you ever needed a scienti�ically valid retort to a festive-period parental quip about you being formerly ‘so emotional’, this is the perfect opportunity to arm yourself.

November 5, Northern Rock Foundation Hall, The Sage, 1.30-2.30pm Mark Atwill

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THE COURIER Monday October 31 2011

thecourieronline.co.uk/arts c2.arts@ncl.ac.uk

And Jimmy said: ‘Let there be Wikipedia’

Deputy Editor Elliot Bentley speaks to the founder of Wikipedia, Jimmy Wales, about the internet revolution

A

s the founder of Wikipedia, a website most students will no doubt be overly familiar with, Jimmy Wales is a man who can truly claim to have in�luenced both the development of the web and the world at large.

Speaking on the phone from his house in London last week, Wales spoke about the talk he’s set to give at the Free Thinking Festival at The Sage, entitled ‘How the Internet Will Keep Changing the World’.

Many have made predictions regarding the impact the internet will have on history - but if anyone is in a position to make such claims, it’s Wales. The success of Wikipedia is well-known, but he has followed it up with Wikia, a website that makes use of Wikipedia’s technology to allow anyone to start their own collaborative encyclopedia on a subject of their choice.

I ask Wales for his favourites: apparently he’s been very active on the Mad Men Wiki recently, and is also a big fan of Lostpedia (devoted to the cult TV show) and the Muppet Wiki. “They’ve written over 20,000 articles on the Muppets!” he enthuses. “It’s amazing how people who really, really get into something can create something cool.”

For example, he says, in Lostpedia, whole articles have been written speculating on the importance of books spotted brie�ly in the background of the show. So far, so geeky - but then, Wikipedia is hardly light on geek trivia either. Are there any other topics Wikia covers?

“Well, our biggest community is in gaming and entertainment,” he responds. “For example, wowwiki.com, which has a vast repository of information about [online game] World of Warcraft.”

Regardless of whether you believe Wikia might be able to change the world in the same way Wikipedia has, Alexis ranks the site as being in the top 200 in the world.

And with adverts on every page, it must be making a dime. “It’s doing very well,” Wales agrees. “We’ve got 15 million visitors a month - that’s more traf�ic than Huf�ington Post.”

Though seen as a passionate internet activist by many, Wales is at heart a businessman. As a graduate, he studied for a PhD while teaching a few classes, but dropped out for a job in �inance. Would he have recommended Wikipedia to his students? “De�initely,” Wales replies.

Two years later, he opened a ‘guy-oriented’ search engine that, while only mildly successful, provided him with the funds to start up an online encyclopaedia, initially called ‘Nupedia’. The eureka moment came in 2001 when Wales opened Nupedia up to be edited by anyone, expert or not, on any subject. Since then, Wikipedia has grown far larger than any traditional enclyclopaedia, with almost four million articles in the English language version alone.

However, Wales doesn’t yet consider his project to be complete. “We’re working on extending and supporting the growth of Wikipedia in the languages of the developing world,” he says, citing India as a partic-

Jimmy Wales, the internet entrepreneur who gave birth to Wikipedia just over ten years ago

We’ve got 15 million visitors a monththat’s more traf�ic than Huf�ington Post

ular target for growth. This involves integrating and informing local reporters and universities, but also coping with something we in the UK might not consider: government censorship. “It’s something Wikis struggle with, and it’s something the internet community needs to remain vigilant about,” he warns.

Censorship is one thing, but it’s also easy to distort the truth by making a few small edits to a Wikipedia page, as Wales himself knows all too well. In 2005, he was caught out going through his own Wikipedia biography and deleting references to Larry Sanger, who is usually credited as the co-founder of Wikipedia. When Wales’ actions were noticed, he came clean, admitting to Wired his actions were “in poor taste” and against Wikipedia’s own rules on editing your own biography.

Regardless, ‘Jimbo’ (as he prefers to be known online) continues to edit Wikipedia. One page he tells me he has particular fondness for is on ‘metal umlauts’. “It’s the idea that for many heavy metal bands, in the 70s in particular, they placed umlauts in their names, perhaps in places that didn’t make much sense,” he explains. “You might just think, ‘Oh, it’s just a joke article’,

but it has lots of references and a clear understanding of a part of our culture. So I think it’s quite a cute article.”

By far though, what Wales is best-known for is being ‘the guy who stares from the top of Wikipedia once a year’. Being a charity, the website is forced to rely solely on donations, and so last year Wales’ face was plastered to every page on the site in an emotive appeal for cash.

“It’s quite awkward,” he admits. “Last year, we found my face performed better than any other by about two to one.

I’m happy to report [this year] we have a much wider range of banners that perform just as well as my own.”

Finally, without spoiling the contents of his upcoming talk, how much change is there left for the internet to bring about?

“One of the things I always focus on is that, right now, there are about two billion people online, depending on how you count it,” he explains. “But there’s about seven billion people on the planet at the moment. So in the next �ive years you’re going to see the next billion or two billion people come online - and not in places like Europe or Japan where people are already online, but in China, India, even in Africa.

And it’s going to bring dramatic changes to life all around the world.

“We’ve seen a hint of [these changes] in the Arab spring,” says Wales. “People are learning through the internet about other countries... they can learn they don’t have to have bad institutions, that there is a better way. And the internet is a tool to coordinate protest movements, to topple authoritarian regimes. I think that type of thing is going to continue to happen, it’s gonna happen in other places. It’s pretty exciting.”

Jimmy Wales’ Free Thinking Lecture: How the Internet Will Keep Changing the World will be at The Sage, Hall 2 on November 4, 6.30-7.45pm.

THE COURIER Monday October 31 2011

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Rewriting the riots

Arts Editor Sally Priddle speaks to Jack Thorne, the king of cult teen dramas and the mind behind The Fades, Misfits and This is England ‘86 British-born writer Jack Thorne has gained a reputation in the cult teen drama market with credits including Skins, The Fades and Misfits. When it comes to capturing the essence of teenage life – both supernatural and naturalistic – there are few who do it better. In addition, Thorne also wrote the Bafta-nominated Cast Offs as well as the critically acclaimed This is England ’86. With so many well-known dramas under his belt, Thorne is definitely doing something right.

Jack is currently writing and rewriting a unique, one-off play for Newcastle’s cultural free thinking festival. Entitled ‘A Summer Night’, it is to close the festival at the Baltic, though Thorne says he won’t be finished writing it until the day before.

This is always how he writes, apparently: no set plans, just endless redrafts until he runs out of time. This dynamic process means that he is never truly happy with his work – but as a writer, he says, you can’t truly be a perfectionist as you can always find ways it could have been better in hindsight. He does try to be a perfectionist as much as possible though, as he believes this leads to the best work he can produce.

Although his best-known works concern the lives of teenagers or troubled people,

it wasn’t an intentional choice on Thorne’s part. “I just sort of fell into it really, I just sit and write, there’s no format or plan.

My friend who is also a writer makes a detailed plan and by the third draft she has pretty much finished it. My writing definitely does not work like that.”

Thorne’s shows are known for relatable characters with superhero powers, magical charms and even eating disorders. I ask him, which of his numerous characters he would most like to be?

“I am many, if not all of my characters – it’s such a hard question!” he laughs. “I think I am most like Mac and Paul from The Fades but if I could be any of my characters then I think I would be Higgy from This Is England. Even though I didn’t create him, I loved using him so much.”

We discuss what TV he watches in his spare time. Many of the biggest TV shows of the past few years he has written himself, of course, and Thorne says his passion for British TV comes through in his writing. “I think Boys from the Black Stuff is probably my new favourite thing,” he says. Although he admits that he has always had a soft spot for Doctor Who – as, if he was forced to wear a single fancy dress costume for the rest of his life, it would be Tom Baker’s Doctor: “The best Doctor

Paul, the troubled main character of Thorne’s supernatural drama, The Fades.

Image: BBC/Dean Rogers

If I had to dress up as one thing for the rest of my life it would be Tom Baker’s Doctor Who

there has ever been, in my opinion”.

Thorne’s current project is the play for the cultural free thinking festival that tackles the difficult topic of the London riots, although he says he doesn’t like to use the word ‘riots’ as he believes it doesn’t accurately describe the events over the summer.

This controversial topic wasn’t originally what Thorne had planned for the play, but he was eventually won over by the subject and says he has enjoyed exploring the subject from different angles through his writing.

“I was apprehensive about writing about it, as it’s such a current and sensitive subject for so many people. I don’t know how I feel about what went on so I was nervous about how I presented it in the play,” he says. The play follows three very different people involved in the summer riots: a carer trying to get to her patient, a policeman on duty, and a teenager on a night out. Each display a different perspective

on the events they are caught up in, and throughout the course of the play their lives end up crossing in many unexpected ways.

Thorne says he is looking forward to seeing the response to the play, and depending on how rehearsals go he hopes to get involved in the festival himself. “I would really like to see Jimmy Wales, as I think it would be really interesting – he’s made such an impact on everyone’s lives. I think it would be intriguing to see what William Hague has to say as he will probably be really controversial. His politics are nothing like my political views, but he is undoubtedly an extremely intelligent man and I would like to hear him.”

Thorne’s strength as a writer is to capture real emotion, even in unusual and surreal situations, and so the London riots should make a perfect fit for his style while exploring sides of the event that most wouldn’t even have considered. And since the event is free, why miss it?

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artsfeatures

The book that... changed the way I thought.

Julia Woodhouse inspires us to open our minds with Khaled Hosseini’s A Thousand Splendid Suns

I

THE COURIER Monday October 31 2011

rarely �ind a book that makes me change my perspective on an issue, and it is even rarer that the same response is felt by my entire family. However, A Thousand Splendid Suns by Khaled Hosseini completely blew me away. This book depicts the turbulent lives of two Afghan women who are repressed by their gender, treated like cattle and surrounded by violence, not only in their homes but also in everyday society. Although some of the content is hard to stomach at times, this book opened my eyes to a completely new culture and depicted the harsh and devastating reality of living in Afghanistan during the last three decades. Sound depressing? Before you stop reading and are turned against the book completely, it is not all doom and gloom; the book includes elements of friendship and most importantly moments of hope (�ist-pump the air with triumph). Although an entire generation apart, the two protagonists, Mariam and Leila, are brought together by their marriage to the same man (a fantastic soap story line if ever I heard one). Despite having very different childhoods, which are explored individually during the opening of the book, the bond between Mariam and Leila develops and grows throughout the book, until you are totally emotionally involved with the unlikely pair. For those who ‘don’t cry at books’, this one will test that theory as the content is powerful enough to tug on the heartstrings of even the bravest of readers. Brilliantly written, the plotline is fast paced and anyone who has read Hosseini’s The Kite Runner will know that he doesn’t shy away from shocking subjects, maintaining enough drama to keep the reader eager for more.

The book changed my perception of the historical problems in Afghanistan, a country which has been the focal point of numerous news reports over the years.

Although it is a work of �iction, the contextual elements of the novel are accurate representations of the experiences that many Afghan women have faced. Mariam and Leila allow the reader to see Afghans from a different outlook; they have to face the type of problems we all face as well as war, and all they want is to live a normal life. The book has inspired me to become more aware of current affairs and to gain a little perspective on my own life, so the next time I get caught in the rain or have a bad hair day (disastrous as that may be) I won’t complain. Due to some of the rather gritty content, I would not recommend it to a younger reader, but for everyone else, be it mum, dad or older sisbling, I guarantee it will stay with you long after the �inal page is read.

Art or ASBOs: What would you call graffiti?

Rebecca Markham explores the evolution of art across the city It’s no surprise that the term ‘graf�iti’ has become highly controversial in recent decades: reviled by authorities and utilised by gangs, while simultaneously being a symbol of free speech and social or political expression. Despite Banksy’s booming popularity, it’s still dif�icult to separate graf�iti from the reproving associations with defacement and vandalism. However, in the past few years many youth groups have pushed for urban street art to not only become a respected art form, but a unique and inspirational cultural medium for reaching out and encouraging to young people across the UK to engage with their environment.

On October 22, Juice Festival hosted its �irst ‘Art Jam’, inviting a collaboration of some of the most prominent street illustrators and graf�iti artists to re-spray the legal arts wall that spans an impressive 320ft behind The Sage, taking the cultural hub to a whole other level. The public watched as local crew Ghetto Method joined forces with other top names on the graf�iti scene to show exactly what magic they could work with a van-load of aerosols, showing skills that would lead even the biggest of critics to question how this could be dismissed as mere vandalism.

Within six hours, the dull stretch of grimy brick was transformed into an exquisite display of vibrant illustration.

Each section was vividly different from the next, featuring the distinctive style and tag of each crew and individual artist, and yet somehow it all managed to come together as a whole. I could get all deep and meaningful on you here, but trust

me, it is pretty impressive. A magni�icent, gothic portrait of Red Riding Hood stares out from the corner of an archway, while further down the walkway a large purple dragon explodes from the wall. Are you taking a trip down to the Baltic or the Quayside this week? If the answer is yes, I would strongly advise a little extra walk up the stairs to the area behind The Sage for a rather different dose of contemporary art that promises not to disappoint.

I have never...

been breakdancing

Arts Editor Sally Priddle pops her breakdancing cherry and wonders whether this is the call to the career path she’s been waiting for

D

espite the attention I attract when I rock out my moves in Sinners, I have never actually had professional breakdancing training, which I am sure would be a surprise to many. It is fair to say that even though I went to the standard dance classes when I was younger, I was always the child that was complimented for their ‘enthusiasm’ or for ‘showing heart’ rather than actual talent. Therefore, when I was sent breakdancing I wasn’t expecting to discover that I might have missed my calling in life.

There were 15 people in my class and I was the oldest by about four years (I am 20), which concerned me as I think I was the only one in the room without a tattoo.

I was feeling slightly intimidated by the age and apparent skill of the other people in the room, and when we began with a pretty standard warm up it made me realise why regular exercise is a good idea.

We then learnt about the importance of ‘attitude’ and were made to walk around the room to music, posing after every four steps. Although I felt like a bit of an idiot to begin with, after trying out a few different poses I think I found my move and had more attitude than a ‘Tammy Girl’ tshirt.

My con�idence was soon crushed, how-

ever, when we started doing actual dancing that required actual coordination. I grasped the simple moves, a casual elbow pop here and a heel, toe, stomp there, but then when music was added we had to speed it up considerably. I am pretty sure I just looked like I was trying to stomp on a bee (with ‘attitude’ of course).

It was slightly distracting to be not only stood next to apparently the best dancer in the room, but also staring into a mirror that covered the entire wall, meaning I could see how bad I was and how out of time I was with everyone else.

The instructor of the class was a crazily enthusiastic woman who regularly yelled “passion!” and “keep smiling!” at us while I was trying to concentrate and keep breathing more than anything else.

An hour later, with me feeling sweaty and pretty inadequate,

we decided to ‘take it to another level’ and try doing a worm and a �loordrop. For those who aren’t in the know, these moves are fairly self-explanatory - although my attempt probably took it a bit too literally, as my worm was just me �lailing around on the �loor and my �loordrop led to a bruised elbow.

I’m probably not going to be cast in the next Step Up �ilm anytime soon, but I did really enjoy stomping and working on my ‘attitude’ for an hour and a half and would recommend giving it a go to anyone.

Sally’s top tips to other breakdancing virgins

1. Don’t expect to look cool at any point 2. Take a friend for moral support 3. Give it 100%. You look a lot more ridiculous if you don’t really go for it

arts

THE COURIER Monday October 31 2011

previews

reviews Happy as Larry

Mervyn Peake Art Exhibition ‘Lines of Flight’

Phil Jupitus Live Tour ‘Stand Down’ The Stand Comedy Club 6 November

Here’s a question for you: why should you part with a portion of your precious student loan to see Phill Jupitus’ ‘Stand Down’? As students we don’t tend to pay entry into venues unless there’s cheap alcohol.

However as the educated of the future this is the prime opportunity to inject that bit of culture into our lives. And who better to get this culture injection from than Mr Jupitus? As well as being the sane member of the ‘Never Mind The Buzzcocks’ team, Jupitus’ career boasts politicising on tour with Paul Weller, the Who and Madness, hosting his own show on BBC Radio 4, regular appearances on QI, two successful stand-up tours, roles in the West End (including a critically-acclaimed turn in Hairspray as Edna Turnblad) and a sold-out run at the 2011 Edinburgh Fringe.

Phill has also recently written a book, Good Morning Nantwich – Adventures In Breakfast Radio, discussing what makes our nation tick and gets them going early in the morning.

If you �ind Jupitus funny on Buzzcocks, this is your chance to see him without the leash of the BBC. Or if you are a southerner simply feeling homesick for a bit of to-thepoint, depressing, ‘F off’ comedy amid the Geordie friendliness, this is where you’ll �ind it.

Still not convinced? Look up his explanation of why the British aren’t interested in exploring space. That should do it.

Mallory McDonald

The 100th anniversary of author, artist and illustrator Mervyn Peake’s birth is celebrated at the Laing Art Gallery this Autumn, with one of the largest exhibitions of his work ever to be staged. The illustrated work of the proli�ic Peake has been somewhat forgotten in recent decades, but this collection serves as evidence as to why we should remember it.

Born in Kuling, China in 1911, Peake began painting and sketching at an early age.

It wasn’t until after he moved to England, however, that he became an illustrator. He once commented, “All my life I have been painting and making drawings, but I only started illustrating books after I was conscripted in 1940”.

His artistic nature managed to �lourish during wartime and in 1942 he was given special permission from his commanding of�icer to continue writing. He also visited Germany as a war artist, commissioned

by The Leader magazine. In June 1945 he visited the Bergen-Belsen concentration camp, which inspired a collection of poems, as well as several drawings of the dying inmates.

These experiences had an undeniable effect on Peake’s artwork, resulting in many of his illustrations becoming disturbing, yet also witty and honest. His post-war work included Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland, Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde and Treasure Island, all of which combine comic characters with more sinister themes. It seems �itting that his work is seen as ‘a balancing act between his repulsion and attraction to the human race.’ These illustrations, which appear to be innocent cartoons on the surface, are transformed into darker depictions of characters that

Life drawing lessons

1. So you think you’re ‘artistically inhibited’?

On the bright side, if you’re starting with a stick man then your drawing can only improve. We live in a fast-paced world, and after graduation you’ll be too busy job hunting with no time for creativity.

Take this opportunity to unleash your untapped abilities before it’s too late and real life kicks in.

2. Overcome embarrassment Being confronted with a naked stranger is character-building! However, if you’re really shy, make sure you’re careful where you sit (check your line of sight) - at least for the �irst session.

3. Impress friends and family The best thing about hand-crafted gifts is that everyone is obliged to appreciate them. This Christmas, instead of trawling around the shops last-minute, head

Northern Stage

Laing Gallery 15 September-8 January

Culture Shock

The act of drawing the human �igure from a living model is deeply engrained in artistic practice. If you’re an art student no doubt you’ve been, ahem, exposed to this before. Perhaps it’s not everyone’s cup of tea, but here’s why it should be:

19

to Wilkinson and buy a frames. Attach drawvoila! Now, you’re the original one-off art ryone will think talented and you those precious

Peake encountered throughout his wartime years.

Even if you believe art isn’t for you, and you can’t see the joy in walking round a gallery for an hour (especially when the Hancock is so close), this exhibition gives you an insight into how even an event as devasting as war can lead to something beautiful, unique and creative. The works’ bright colours and block images leave you with a feel-good vibe as they win you over with their unique charm. The most random images include rainbows, whales and animals in nightdresses; although this is not normal subject matter, somehow it works, and the absurdity both takes you back to your childhood imagination and gives you an insight into the fabulously wonderful mind of Mervyn Peake.

Rosie Tallant

What is it to be truly happy? According to Australian-born choreographer Shaun Parker, the nature of human happiness hinges on your personality type, a concept he explores to great effect in his award winning new production ‘Happy As Larry’ which toured its �inal shows in Newcastle last weekend.

From the outset, ‘Happy As Larry’ is so much more than simply a dance piece Parker uses props to great effect: each one of the nine personality types he portrays has their own individual token, be it basketballs or rollerblades, and the central element of the piece is marked by a huge revolving blackboard, acting as backdrop, signpost and launchpad throughout. However, rather than being overpowered by their surroundings, the dancers inhabit the stage, seamlessly switching between jaw-dropping acrobatics and smaller, more intense phases. Each performer commits entirely to their character, no one action being performed without clear intent, and the humour of the piece is constantly undercut with a sharper, bittersweet edge.

Parker collaborated with the composers Nick Wales and Bree van Reyk in his creation of the piece, a partnership which stops the show falling into the classic dance fallacy of the music and movement being separate entities and instead creates a multi-layered performance. The disciplines perfectly complement each other, the timing of the dancers is utterly faultless throughout, and the mix of classical music with electro-beats is a surprisingly successful combination. As the piece moves through classical ballet recitals to a compacted version of the dance crazes of the last decade, one cannot help but feel lifted by the sheer energy of the performers, and arguably no one left the theatre without feeling just that bit closer to being as happy as Larry.

Charlie Burt

artintheeveryday

multipack of ings and creator of pieces. Eveyou’re super can save pennies.

4. Encounter future �ilm stars.

In 1952, a 22-year-old Sean Connery, posed as a life model for drawing classes at Edinburgh College of Art. Just think, it’s possible you’ll meet a future Hollywood legend AND you can say that you’ve seen them ‘au naturel’.

But failing all else…

5. Put it on your C.V Show potential employers your willingness to think outside the box when it comes to extra-curricular activities. ‘Life Drawing’ says “Hi. I’m cultured” and it’ll set you apart from the crowd.

This intense, dynamic and inspiring sixweek course is taught at the Laing Art Gallery in Newcastle. Classes are run by artist Narbi Price and each week will explore a different aspect of working creatively with the nude �igure.

Lauren Stafford

...street art on Northumberland Street

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THE COURIER Monday October 31 2011

filminterview

thecourieronline.co.uk/film c2.film@ncl.ac.uk

I am Tina Gharavi

Film Editor Chris Binding catches up with the award winning Iranian filmmaker to discuss the importance of dissent, her recent feature I Am Nasrine and why Michael Moore actually isn’t all that bad Ever since leaving Iran at the age of six “Audiences are so much more literate Tina Gharavi has undoubtedly made in understanding the veracity of the imher mark upon the world, gaining age these days, they know they have to international acclaim and a formidable question it and they know there’s arti�ice. reputation as �ilmmaker and social critic.

The idea of documentary truth has disapStudying as an academic in France and peared with people’s sense of ‘everything America, she has since screened �ilms at is black and white’; �ilmmakers can take the Sundance �ilm festival and commisadvantage of this to make more powerful sioned work for Channel 4 and the BBC, and impactful �ilms.” with her �ilms touching upon issues of Despite the self-conscious style, the identity, migration and marginalised comreal heart of any documentary lies with munities. its subject matter and I Am Nasrine reCurrently based in the North East and mains deeply personal with elements of lecturing at Newcastle University, her �irst feature �ilm and ‘calling card’ I Am Nasrine screens this month at the Tyneside Cinema, seeing Tina yet again engaging with her motherland in a migration narrative shot in Tehran and the North East.

After navigating the labyrinth of World Headquarters, the home of Bridge and Tunnel Productions, I found myself sitting with Tina and producer James Richard Baille, evidently tired from preparations for the I Am Nasrine premiere at the Tyneside Cinema. Tina’s af�inity for documentary �ilm arose from an early age when she was profoundly in�luenced

by French director Francois Truffaut’s semi–autobiographical �ilm 400 Blows.

“When I saw that movie I was inspired to make a �ilm that was so personal and yet had impact; which was so personal, autobiography both from Tina and lead emotional and internal. I was interested in actress Mischa Sadeghi’s life. However how cinema could be so epic but yet be so like her previous short, King of South personal at the same time.”

Shields(2008), chronicling the impact of Fittingly, her latest feature I Am Nasrine Muhammad Ali’s visit to a Muslim comis the product munity in the 1970s, of this ambireversing stereotypes tion, combining What’s your opinion on documen- and giving a voice to personal drama minorities is still an tary �ilmmaker Michael Moore? with a hybrid important motive. of documentary “People who are ex“I’m glad there’s a world where Michael and �ictional elcluded or live on the Moore exists, I have a lot of respect for ements. Despite margins need role him. He worked hard for a number of a career of documodels and inspirayears to get to where he is and he has mentary �ilms, tional mythologies. conviction. His view point is very chalthis �ictional A lot of the time, the lenging to Americans and gets out into element is a �ilms I make are about the popular media which is dif�icult conscious decipeople who don’t �it because the American media is so consion designed to into the conventional trolled. I think he irritates a lot of people counter viewer stereotypes. It’s the because he’s loud , large and unapoloexpectations inspiration behind getic. Good for him.” although with this �ilm.” Yet Tina the inclusion of acknowledges that the self-referen�ilms like hers are oftial mockumentary genre, this is nothing ten drowned out by the middle-eastern new. stereotypes projected by Hollywood and “Ten years ago it was much more contro- popular media outlets. versial but I think it’s much more common “This is a war of representation. Hollynow for �ilmmakers to slip between forms. wood speaks for and projects an agenda

If there was a biopic based on your life, who would you cast in the role of yourself?

The chameleon-like Charlize Theron or the actress playing Nasrine in this �ilm.

She is versatile and Iranian; she could probably play the teen years quite well.

and there’s a lot of people who don’t have power who are crushed by this representation. I guess that’s what independent �ilms can be about; the Arab world getting together with Al Jazeera, what you’re projecting onto us is not what we think of ourselves. We recognise that and we want a right to reply. There are lots of �ilmmakers from very different spheres battling the representations they don’t feel they have any power over. It’s about power and control.”

Tina has �irst-hand experience of power and control, recounting the arduous funding and shooting schedule with the original �ilm’s interest unfortunately coinciding with the dissolution of the UK Film Council, leaving the project in stasis for several years. The �ilm’s producer James Richard Baille lamented the dif�iculty of getting independent �ilms funded , attributing it to a fundamentally �lawed and misguided British �ilm industry.

“For a long time in the British �ilm industry it’s been a case that if you persuade one or two people to back your �ilm they many new challenges, pushing all inprovide the money and that’s it. The probvolved to the absolute limit. lem with that is a lot of �ilms are funded ‘‘It was so physical and emotional,” that aren’t commercial and you Tina recounts, “there were tend to get a lot of the same type some days I thought I was of �ilm. Four Weddings and a FuWhen you met Ben Kingsley did gonna die from stress. It neral was a big success, so any he adhere to the arrogant, conde- was a very tough shoot �ilm that looks similar gets monscending stereotype of ‘You will and that is something that ey thrown at it.” isn’t emotional, it’s physiaddress me as Sir Ben Kingsley!’

The �inal push came from a cally so tiring as you work £100,000 investment from North 12 -14 hour days prepping “I don’t think there any truth in that.

East Creative Content Funds and for the next day with up to He was literally very humble, wearing a support from award-winning ac3-4 hours of sleep.” beanie, sitting shallow in his chair, sitting tor and charity patron Sir Ben Along with this, shootalone in the waiting room at the BBC. I Kingsley, which aided the �ilm’s ing under the totalitarian went up to him and said, ‘if I don’t speak publicity. regime in Tehran brought to you I’ll end up killing myself,’ and he “Kingsley supported it in terms many problems, with all said ‘let’s save a life today’. We had a of promoting it with the quote involved risking imprisongreat conversation, he was very inter‘this is an important �ilm’. This ment on a day to day basis. ested in what I was doing and made sure had massive value because peo“It passed without any we changed contact details and letters. I ple took it seriously. I don’t know problems but we were have a lot to thank him for. Although he is why those things help. Charities hiding from the police besuprisingly very tiny.” have patrons and people like an cause of the police oppresendorsement from people they sion; we had to smuggle trust.” Yet the transition from short to feathe �ilm out in my handbag. It could have ture �ilm and the work involved brought easily gone wrong,” says Tina. “We didn’t

THE COURIER Monday October 31 2011

interviewfilm

21

review

I Am Nasrine

Pushing it to the limit: Tina Gharavi (centre) on set of the I am Nasrine shoot.

have the police come and nobody got into hope the �ilm raises awareness about the any trouble but if I went back I’d be in issues and humanises the situation. prison now.” With award-winning Iranian With I Am Nasrine truly cementing her �ilmmakers behind bars and a policy-con- name in the North East and afar, Gharavi’s trolled �ilm industry, Tina evidently still next daring �ilm will focus on capital punhas an angsty relationship with her op- ishment in America, collecting personal pressive mother-country. ‘Iranian cinema stories from inhabitants of death row. is very popular and well-respected around However, despite her recent successes, the world and is one of Iran’s biggest cul- she doesn’t expect the �ilmaking process tural exports. The government is very to get any easier. threatened by it and is starting to attack “It has a lot to do with luck and who you �ilmmakers and journalists and they are meet. If I make the right connections to help worried that the tenreceive funding sions across the Midthen I can make If you could go back in time and more films. This dle East will ignite. direct any �ilm, which would you is my first feature They are suppresschoose and would you change an- I’ve made and I’m ing people harder ything? as a result. Imagine happy with it. I’m you’re trying to just very prepared not “I do love Lawrence of Arabia. Maybe I be a kid and do your to make another would have Lawrence and Omasharie thing and then all of film if that’s the end up together as the sexual tension bea sudden your life way the cookie tween the two is absolutely unbearable… can be ripped apart crumbles.”

Yet I’d change the funeral at the beginning to by a regime that is despite this realist a wedding.” arbitrarily whimsiattitude, in a tough cal and capricious. I competitive indus-

“People who are excluded or live on the margins need role models and inspirational mythologies.

A lot of the time the �ilms I make are about people who don’t �it into the conventional stereotypes.

It’s the inspiration behind this �ilm.”

Eight years in the making, I Am Nasrine is a monumental achievement for �ilmmaker/writer Tina Gharavi. Set during 2001, our titular protagonist Nasrine (Mischa Sadeghi) illegally immigrates to Newcastle from Iran at the demand of her father after a particularly traumatic incident early on in the �ilm. She travels to England with her brother Ali (Shiraz Haq), and while he works menial low-paying jobs, Nasrine adapts step by step to British culture, mostly instigated by her schoolmate and migrant traveller Nicole (Nicole Halls). The deft sensitivity and care I Am Nasrine utilises with these characters and their situations is astounding.

A part of what makes the �ilm this way is the wide scope it employs. Themes include immigration, homosexuality, torture, feminism, sexuality, freedom, oppression and ignorance. However, this also works against I Am Nasrine as some of these topics don’t feel as fully explored as they could have been. At a lean 90 minutes long, the �ilm would have bene�ited from a longer runtime in order to better accommodate the breadth of issues it raises. However, this is but a minor �law in an otherwise impressive piece of work.

All the while this is supported by brilliant acting from the entire cast, who are mostly non-professional actors who improvised a lot of the dialogue. The camerawork also works wonders to put us inside Nasrine’s head as she observes her environment.

Things are often shifting in and out of focus, everything hazy and out of reach with facial expressions and other pieces of detail coming gradually to the forefront.

By far the most engrossing thing about I Am Nasrine is that this is a �ilm about Britain from the perspective of foreigners; we see aspects of British society in a new light and it makes you think long and hard about the place we call home.This became all the more apparent at the Q+A session with Tina Gharavi and individuals involved with the �ilm.

The story behind the making of I Am Nasrine is an engrossing one, an interesting fact being the inherent dif�iculty in �ilming within Iran, whereby certain members of the cast and crew are unaccredited so as to keep them anonymous and out of danger from the authorities. These lengths to provide authenticity and detail elevate Tina’s debut feature to a high level of �ilmmaking.

I Am Nasrine delves deep into the human spirit and is wholly welcome in its attempts to humanise the immigrant and migrant community within our borders. When this �ilm becomes more widely available, I urge you to watch it.

George Royle

try Tina does offer some poignant advice to powerful tool with documentary filmmakyoung filmmakers and indeed about life in ing that can change people’s minds and the general. course of history and “ N o b o d y why it’s very apIt’s fair to say you’ve made your that’s knows nothing pealing.” mark on the North East. Do you and if people tell I Am Nasrine may be see yourself staying in the region the you something high point of Tina inde�initely or letting stories take you’ve got to lisGharavi’s career thus you somewhere else? ten, but there will far, with a sell-out prealways be people miere at Tyneside Cin“If I went back to Iran I would be arresttelling you can’t ema proving an audied and I’ve lived here for �ifteen years, do something. So ence and demand exists let’s just say who knows. I’m very happy many people said for her films. Further because it’s an easy place to live and has this film could screenings are currently a great airport.

If you live in New York or not be made; I being planned. Despite London you end up getting stuck in loads questioned that I Am Nasrine’s label as of places. I love the people - they’re very a lot and I didn’t a fiction film, its docufriendly.” necessarily listen mentary elements and to that because if exploration of asylum you do absorb it, seekers will render it an its paralysing. You can’t make a move be- important teaching tool in schools for procause you think ‘what’s the point?’. In life moting multiculturalism. With I Am Nasrine you often think, ‘are they right?’ . causing a stir amongst critics and fans alike “It’s pejorative and imperative to question along with endorsement, talent and important the system and find better solutions because ideologies driving Tina’s work, hopefully the that’s how evolution works. You have a very best is yet to come.

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THE COURIER Monday October 31 2011

filmfeatures

top

5

‘Mockumentary’ feature �ilms.

5) I’m Still Here

4) C.S.A

An alternative history based on the assumption that the South won the US Civil War, it raises an interesting discussion of how America would look today if slavery still existed. Ignoring the lowbudget look, this one is really a good place to go to for starters.

3) Walk Hard

Technically a mock biopic following the career of John C Reilly’s troubled rocker, inspired to write songs after the accidental death of his brother in a machete �ight, the �ilm matures to take some well-aimed digs at The Beatles, and rock in general, with a �ine satirical soundtrack.

2) Forgotten Silver

Peter Jackson, the LOTR director, moves back to his New Zealand roots with this take on a �ictional pioneer of �ilm. Noted for its technical brilliance in terms of Jackson’s work in mimicking early �ilm techniques, this is one to get hold of.

1) This Is Spinal Tap

If you haven’t seen Spinal Tap, you need to. The Godfather of mockumentaries follows the hapless exploits of British rock group ‘Spinal Tap’ as they struggle with the metric system, amps that go up to eleven, and the fatality rate of drummers. A true classic, matching surreal comedy with biting satire of the music business.

Rollo Kirkman

Stranger than fiction?

Lisa Bernhardt defines the genre of the documentary

Thanks to many a biology lesson that a highly uncreative teacher tried to animate with dull, yellow-ish wildlife videos from the 1970s, the mere mention of the word ‘documentary‘ evokes a range of bad associations.

The vast array of TV productions such as My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding that blur the lines between reality soap and documentary doesn‘t really put things right either, so one is left to wonder why some people still make that big a deal of it. The answer is simple: the potential and possibilities of this particular �ilm genre are immensely broad and can be employed for a mass of different purposes.

With a history dating back to the 19th century pioneering works as Dziga Vertov’s Man With A Movie Camera (1929), the documentary is often de�ined as a non�ictional �ilm. While informing about a certain topic, they don‘t necessarily have an explicit educational aim and are rather made for entertainment, even though they

usually deliver a thought-provoking idea.

The most controversial issue surrounding documentaries lies within the term‘s de�inition itself - can a factual �ilm, even more than a �ictional one, ever be objective? This is doubtful and can, with almost complete certainty, be answered with a resounding ‘No’. But for this very reason, documentaries can offer any kind of social or political activism a platform due to the form’s straightforward agenda. Whether it is a minimalist, yet highly serious project like Abortion Democracy or a semi-activist comedy-orientated �ilm like Super Size Me that appeals to a broad audience, the relationship of documentaries and activism continues and grows with some promising ventures to watch out for. How effective and entertaining , informative and well-made one �inds them is unpredictable and depends on personal taste; nevertheless, activist documentaries are a great example of the power the medium of �ilm possesses to comment, record and change world events.

Illustration: Emma Rawsthorne

The somewhat controversial hoax of Joaquin Phoenix’s move to a rap career, this infamous �ilm explored celebrity culture. Aided by Casey Af�leck’s direction, the �ilm gains credence due to Phoenix’s dedication and own troubled experience.

thecourieronline.co.uk/film c2.film@ncl.ac.uk

Essential documentary directors Werner Herzog

Nick Broom�ield

German-born director Werner Herzog is notorious for depicting human beings in extreme circumstances. For over forty years, his documentaries have explored some of the most hostile living conditions in the world including the rain forest, Antarctica and Alaska. Despite his fascination with extraordinary characters he always maintains a deep respect for the wilderness. His documentary style is dominated by commentary (in English with a strong German accent) on people and places he encounters, physically intruding into his �ilms and implementing narrative and cinematic techniques af�iliated with feature �ilms. However, he is more popular outside his native country as a representative of New German Cinema alongside Wim Wenders or Rainer Werner Fassbinder. A good introduction to his œuvre could be Grizzly Man, a �ilm about an eco-activist who lived with bears for 13 years until he got killed by one of them. More recently, Herzog made Cave of Forgotten Dreams, a 3D �ilm about ancient cave paintings.

Mirjam Triebe

The major documentaries of London-born Nick Broom�ield are renowned for both their versatility in subject as well as their loose and subjective form. Comfortable dealing with subjects ranging from South African apartheid in The Leader, to pop cultural conspiracy theories in Kurt and Courtney, his impressive versatility is only matched by his in�luence. The self-re�lexive approach of his most famous �ilms where he appears frequently on-screen (with boom mic in hand) and his mediating presence as �ilmmaker has gone on to in�luence the likes of Louis Theroux and Michael Moore.

Often detailing the travails of the creative process over the subject at hand, Broom�ield approaches his topic obliquely – presenting individuals ambiguously through snippets of candid conversation or using the very reluctance of his subject as the focal point of his �ilms, as in the recent Sarah Palin: You Betcha!.

However his most powerful �ilm Ghosts could only loosely be called a documentary, detailing the 2004 Morecambe Bay cockling disaster. showing Broom�ield’s versatility in form as in subject.

Billy Wood

When looking at contemporary documentaries, it’s hard to think of a more renowned and indeed provocative �ilmmaker than Michael Moore. The Michiganborn director began to ruf�le feathers with Roger & Me, his 1989 critique regarding the closures of General Motors plants in his hometown. Moore has since grown in stature, in�luence and notoriety, breaking box-of�ice records and his victims’ careers. Bowling for Columbine (2002), an exploration of gun-culture in the US, pushed Moore towards bigger projects.

Two years later, with an ever-sceptical eye, Moore looked at the Bush administration in the controversial work Fahrenheit 9/11. After this he exposed the USA institutions in Sicko (2007) and Capitalism: A Love Story (2009), attacking the healthcare system and Wall Street respectively.

Impartiality isn’t his strongpoint;,with an infuriating leftist stance and a tendency to bend the truth. Nevertheless, Michael Moore still remains one of the pioneering populist documentary �ilmmakers of modern times.

Zak Branchette

Imagine trying to describe the life cycle of the rove beetle Aleochara bilineata without putting your audience to sleep. On paper, this creature’s behaviours and unique quirks wouldn’t even interest a keen entomologist.

But there is one man who can enthral a nation on a subject like this and still keep us begging for more.

David Attenborough may not have followed directly in his brother’s footsteps down the �ilm and director route, but he instead focused on documentary style programmes about the natural world and environment we inhabit, such as Life, Planet Earth and upcoming Frozen Planet. With stunning use of photography and �ilm, these documentaries are already works of art, managing to �ind breath-taking colours in some of the dullest habitats. Attenborough helps decipher the science behind the image, with his raw enthusiasm for the subject and impeccable delivery. He manages to communicate some of the most complicated scienti�ic processes to the average television viewer in an understandable way, furthering our knowledge of the world we live in.

Chris Scott

Michael Moore

David Attenborough

THE COURIER Monday October 31 2011

reviewsfilm

23

We Need To Talk About Kevin ging you right into the horrors beneath.

The real shining part here, however, is the fierce chemistry between Eva and Kevin.

Tilda Swinton’s performance here may be among one of her best, and Ramsay’s ability to create a ferociously evil young child in the form of young Kevin, and then again in teenage Kevin, allow for some intense scenes. Even a simple trip to mini golf turns into a ferocious battle of wits, and what isn’t said says more than what is. Kevin is smart and has a way with words, but those words are filled with such burning hatred and vitriol whilst Eva is fragile and easily susceptible to tipping over the edge.

There are few films that, upon finishing, leave the audience in a state of shock, so much so that no-one knows what to do. Do they get up and leave? Do they sit and mull it over? Do they even speak? It’s rare for a film to end with the audience filing out of the screening in complete silence. This is testament to how bracing and uncomfortable Lynne Ramsay’s adaptation of Lionel Shriver’s book of the same name can be.

The story follows Eva (Tilda Swinton), the mother of Kevin (Ezra Miller), a disruptive child with sociopathic leanings, as she tries to cope with the aftermath of what her son has done and the way people treat her as a result, as well as dealing with the events that led up to Kevin’s ‘tipping point’. We see snippets of her pre-motherhood life before quickly moving on to the constant war between mother and son which starts right from birth, leading Eva to become increasingly more irritated by her son’s existence. We also see snippets of the day Kevin went

over the edge and then the present, in which Eva has to deal with being the most hated mother in the community.

The film flicks between all of these areas with ferocious speed. It feels very Memento in that the audience has to piece together exactly what happened and why things are like this for Eva, although the emotion of piecing the puzzle together alongside the protagonist who

Contagion

Paranormal Activity 3

also needs the puzzle pieced together as in Memento isn’t there. Some of the hints are entirely unsubtle, such as the oozing jam sandwich and the wall of tomato soup both symbolising blood, but others such as the use of red in other places and the bits of eggshell in the omelette take a keen eye to spot. These hints and the fragmented story give the viewer an increased involvement in the film, drag-

Restless

Verdict: We Need To Talk About Kevin is incredibly uncomfortable. The scorching interactions between Eva and Kevin are both intense and frightening. This is a film that will stay with the viewer for at least a few days; questioning where the evil within Kevin began and making you think about the very idea of motherhood.

Chris Taylor

Yellow Sea Whose line is it anyway?

Contagion can be described as a medical mystery thriller but could also be analysed as a documentary of the human condition.

Its universal core of a global pandemic explores the plausible idea of the devolution of mankind. The plot is simple; a powerful and deadly super virus is contracted and spread throughout the world , and we follow how mankind reacts to the outbreak, explored through several vantage points and sub-plots. As a cure is desperately developed, the bodies pile up and society starts to collapse. The powerful subtext of this movie is that in the face of death, humanity becomes tainted with selfishness.

What’s wonderful about Contagion is its terrifying realism. Right from the start, the key theme is fear, with the foreboding first line being a cough. It reflects a postmodern media-saturated society designed to keep the public living in fear, making the audience that little bit more paranoid about touching an elevator button or a mug in a restaurant. Director Steven Soderbergh has succeeded in invoking fear with a minimalistic soundtrack and subtle camerawork also heightening this sense of paranoia. With a cast full of Oscar winners and nominees, the performances were fittingly exceptional. Jude Law in particular was impressive as the disingenuous journalist out for capitalistic profit. However, the film did drag at times, with unnecessary long camera shots and a few unanswered questions, but these minor flaws were countered by the striking cinematography.

Verdict: Contagion exudes professionalism and subtle detail. The circular narrative concludes the film effectively and with a terrifying realist premise. If you like to feel tense then Contagion will test your comfort zone.

Another week, another horror film, and with Halloween upon us, it seems fitting to release Paranormal Activity 3. Essentially a prequel to the previous two instalments, this film follows young sisters Kristi and Katie, the chief protagonists from the previous two films, as they are plagued by an invisible and malevolent entity that resides within their home. When seemingly supernatural events keep occurring within their house, stepfather Dennis decides to capture the events on film. What follows is a by-the-numbers horror film, with obligatory loud noises, doors slamming, and creaky floorboards; yet startlingly, this film is genuinely terrifying and is the most successful of the three films in terms of both ‘scare factor’ and storyline.

Effective and well-executed camerawork helps to build tension, with one extended climactic shot in the finale being particularly petrifying. A steady mix of successful ‘jump’ scares, and long extended sequences which build tension work well together and ultimately create a film which terrifies. The ending is a bit rushed and ends rather abruptly, leaving a gaping plot hole, while some scares are incredibly predictable. But with more character development, effective acting, and creepy scares, this is a film that will linger with you long after the credits have rolled. Ultimately, this proves to be the most successful of the three films, and with an ending alluding to another sequel, don’t be surprised if next Halloween we have number four.

On paper Restless has all the ingredients to make a first-rate film. With the success of director Gus Van Sant’s 2008 Oscar winning biopic Milk, the impressive casting of girl of the moment Mia Wasikowska and the late Dennis Hopper’s son Henry Hopper, the film has strong credentials and on many levels it does not disappoint.

Centred around the romance between the grief stricken Enoch (Hopper), fascinated by funerals and friends with the ghost of a Japanese Kamikaze pilot, and terminally-ill cancer patient Annabelle, determined to live her last months to the fullest. After meeting at a memorial service the two characters strike up a friendship that quickly progresses into a romance, characterised by the familiar stages of angsty teenage relationships including love, sex and heartache. This is a beautifully-shot, sweet film with an indie feel, with strong performances that may leave you with an inevitable tear or two.

However, the movie does lack depth and reality, producing a rose-tinted view of death and bereavement while skimming over the profound emotions behind loss.

At times the characters are also frustratingly hard to like. Reliance on their ‘quirkiness’ – Enoch’s strange friendship with a ghost and Annabelle’s fascination with Charles Darwin - point to a lack of subsidence in character structure. This can, at certain points, be rather annoying and prevents a true connection between the characters and the audience.

Luke Hearfield

Sam Hopkins

Yasmin Benn

Verdict: A well-constructed and tense horror film. A worthy addition to the series and to the horror canon of 2011. This is the must-see horror film for Halloween.

Verdict: Nonetheless this is a pleasant film and although it most likely won’t be reaching the dizzy heights of Van Sant’s other projects, it is certainly worth seeing.

You look into the eyes of a chicken and you lose yourself in a completely flat, frightening stupidity. They are like a great metaphor for me[...] I kind of love chicken, but they frighten me more than any other animal.

Werner Herzog

Blogging is not writing. It’s just graffiti with punctuation.

Contagion

Over the past decade, South Korea has transformed itself into a powerhouse for highly stylish action thrillers. Hong-jin Na, director of The Yellow Sea, exploded onto the scene back in 2009, with his intensely psychological thriller The Chaser, and comes from the same crop of directors that includes Chan-wook Park (The Vengeance Trilogy) and Kim Ji-woon (A Tale of Two Sisters, A Bittersweet Life). With a directorial pedigree like that, it’s no surprise that The Yellow Sea has all the hallmarks of a great South Korean action flick: stylish, sleek, a compelling and emotionally engaging storyline, lots of knives, and, of course, a ridiculously high body count.

Split into four acts, the film tells the story of Gu-nam, a down-on-his-luck taxi driver who is trying to track down his wife. After he caught her cheating, she fled from their native China to South Korea and left him with the bill for her new visa. Struggling to pay back the visa costs, Gu-nam reluctantly agrees to travel to South Korea to kill a man in exchange for a chance to clear his debts and find his wife. What should be a simple job gradually unravels to become a sprawling criminal conspiracy that takes Gu-nam from the squalid shores of his homeland in China to the big city splendour of Seoul. The film begins as a slowburning reflective character study of a profoundly lonely man, but quickly morphs into an adrenalin-fuelled action thriller.

Verdict: Unlike many action films, The Yellow Sea does not subordinate story to action. Although some viewers may find the plot convoluted, those familiar with the genre will have no trouble keeping up.

Dave Dodds

24

listings31stOct-6thNov Monday

How to succeed at dental and medical school interviews 1-2pm Dental School, Lecture Theatre 3

Changed career direction? Want to turn your degree into life-saving skills? Find out how to successfully make the jump to dental or med school with this helfpul workshop. www.ncl.ac.uk/careers

42nd Street 7pm (Mon-Sat) Theatre Royal

‘If you’ve got a little time to spare, I want to take you theeeeeeeeeeere...’

The Tony award-winning show tapdances into Newcastle this week. Packed with razzamataz, toe-tapping and jazz hands, this is the ultimate feel-good show - a fantastic excuse for a break from coursework or revision! Prices start at just £8 and some nights are discounted for students so check out the website at www.theatreroyal.co.uk.

Tuesday Netball

6-7pm Northumbria University Sports Centre

Get down to Northumbria Sports Centre for a free game of netball. www.nusu.co.uk

Wednesday How to be effective at psychometric tests

1.15-1.45pm Bamburgh Room, King’s Road Centre

This 30 minute workshop will provide information about and examples of aptitude tests (including numerical, verbal and logical reasoning tests), personality questionnaires and situational judgement tests.

Widening Horizons Fair How to prepare for an assessment centre

1-2pm Bamburgh Room, King’s Road Centre

This workshop is for anyone who wants to �ind out more about what to expect and how to prepare for an assessment centre. This will improve your con�idence and your understanding of what recruiters are looking for.

1-2pm The Venue, Student Union Bulding

Would you like to widen your horizons? Find out what it’s like to live, study and work in another country? Sample some international cuisines?

You can meet students from many different countries who have come to Newcastle to study and learn about their home countries and share their cross border experiences. You can also meet with Newcastle students who have studied and worked overseas as part of their Newcastle University Degree.

Bill Bailey

8pm Metro Radio Arena

Bailey brings us a fantastically eclectic show including music (on instrumetns old and new), rants about anything and everything, stories from the road and general observational comedy. If you buy a ticket for just one reason, let it be to see Baily playing folk-bouzouki. Or just to �ind out what one is.

Tribes

8pm The Cluny, Ouseburn

Touted as the ‘ones-to-watch’ this year, don’t miss London foursome Tribes at the Cluny this Wednesday. Tickets start from £8 and are available from www.ent24.com.

How to write your CV

Give Blood

Tinie Tempah

Do something amazing and give blood during a lecture break. It takes ten minutes to walk from campus to Castle Leazes, it takes 15 minutes to give blood, it’s free and you get some complimentary tea, coffee and biscuits as well as an altruistic high. There’s no excuse! (And that plaster on your arm is a proven babe-magnet.)

After a sell-out headline tour and a summer of amazing festival perfomances, Tinie Tempah is heading north to the Arena this week. Grab your ticketes now before this one sells out too. www.metroradioarena.co.uk

2-3.45pm and 4.30-7pm Castle Leazes

7.30pm Metro Radio Arena

Kids Action Overseas Volunteer Information Evening 6.30pm Venue, The Students’ Union

VOLUNTEERS NEEDED! Help out with kids, fund projects of your choice and get involved with Medical Outreach Programs and Dispensaries!

Find out more at this information evening or �ind KAOS on Facebook.

1-2pm Bamburgh Room

It’s estimated that employers discard 3 out of 5 CVs within 2 minutes. Come to this workshop to �ind out how to ensure your CV re�lects what you have to offer, and most importantly gets you noticed! www.ncl.ac.uk/careers

Phantom of the Opera with Live Soundtrack from The Laze 8.45pm Tyneside Cinema, Newcastle

The gruesome opera ghost story is given a makeover with the addition of a fantastic live score from sextet The Laze. Mixing prog rock, classical, jazz, doom and electronica into the �ilm’s musical accompaniment, The Laze turn this fantastic �ilm into a feast for all the senses. www.tynesidecinema.co.uk

THE COURIER Monday October 31 2011

thecourieronline.co.uk/listings c2.editor@ncl.ac.uk

Thursday The King James Bible: the making of a classic translation Public Lecture 5.30-6.30pm Curtis Auditorium, Herschel Building

This lecture celebrates the 400th anniversary of the publication of the King James Bible.

Professor McGrath considers its commissioning, the translation process, the character of the new translation, and how it gradually won the hearts of the English-speaking world. www.ncl.ac.uk/events

Music student performances

4-5pm King’s Hall, Armstrong Building

A fantastic opportunity to hear some of Newcastle’s most talented music students performing in one of the most impressive locations in the university. www.ncl.ac.uk/events/kings-hall

Movies at Monument 3pm Monument, Newcastle

Grab your winter woolies and a big bag of popcorn and settle in for a free afternoon of �ilm by Newcastle’s Monument. Today’s �ilm is ‘ A Hard Day’s Night’ starring The Beatles.

Cornshed Sisters

1.10-2pm King’s Hall, Armstrong Building

Jennie Redmond, Cath Stephens, Liz Corney and Marie Nixon make up the entertaining foursome, the Cornshed Sisters. With songs ranging from humour to heartbreak, it’s a great chance to eat your lunch whilst enjoying some quality music.

Britney Spears 7pm Metro Radio Arena

The Princess of Pop bounces back with her �irst ever gig in the North East. Having sold more than 90 million albums and 35 million singles, Britney is bound to put on a jaw-dropping spectacle with all the dancing, props and costume changes you could wish for.

Tickets are available from www. ticketmaster.co.uk for as little as £60 grab yours quickly because it’s bound to sell out before Thursday.

Photo: compulsiveprep_8

THE COURIER Monday October 31 2011

Friday Going Dark 7pm Northern Stage

Going Dark is an innovative one-man show using total darkness, sound design and imaginative lighting to present one man’s vision of the cosmos. Recommended for anyone who likes Inception & Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind and music like Massive Attack.

There will also be a post-show talk afterwards. www.northernstage.co.uk

31stOct-6thNovlistings Something for the Weekend Arctic Monkeys Saturday 6pm Metro Radio Arena

The Arctic Monkey’s album tour reaches the Toon this weekend and is a must-see for all big fans! Tickets are available from a number of websites or visit www.metroradioarena.com for more information.

Pigeon Detectives Sunday 7.30pm O2 Academy Newcastle

The Northern lads arrive with their exciting indie rock ‘n’roll tonight. Catch new tracks from their third studio album such as single ‘Done in Secret’, upbeat ‘She Wants Me’ and the catchy ‘Lost’.

Milton Jones

Saturday 7.30pm Journal Tyne Theatre, Newcastle

He’s much more than wild hair and a London accent - Milton Jones is full of oneliners and puns guaranteed to make you laugh. www.journaltynetheatre.co.uk

How to write a covering letter 1-2pm Bamburgh Room

A covering letter is the text that grabs the attention of a possible employer before they even glance at your CV, and in this day and age, it needs to be darn good! Find out how to write an eye-catching covering letter and bag your dream job with this informative and useful workshop open to all students. www.ncl.ac.uk/careers

Polite Room

9pm Tyneside Cinema, Newcastle

Discover some of the city’s hidden talent at Tyneside Cinema’s acoustic and spoken word night. This week Rob Heron and the Tea Pad Orchestra transport you back to the 1930s with some swing, jazz, blues and soul. Entry £5.

BBC Free Thinking Festival Micky Flanagan 7pm Newcastle City Hall

Satisfy yourself with some Cockney comedy from the critically-acclaimed comedian, Micky Flanagan. Tickets available from Newcastle City Hall from £17.50.

4-6th November The Sage, Gateshead

BBC Radio 3 brings together leading thinkers to debate the big issues changing our world, including Wikipedia founder Jimmy Wales, controversial intellectual Germaine Greer and Foreign Secretary William Hague. www.thesagegateshead.org

Firework Festivities Newcastle Cricket Club, Jesmond Saturday 5.30pm, £3 Elswick Park, Newcastle Saturday 7pm, Free Saltwell Park, Gateshead Saturday 7pm, Free

Hodgkin Park, Armstrong Road Benwell Saturday 6.30pm, Free

Broadway West Playing Fields, Gosforth Saturday 6pm, £3 Novocastrians Rugby Club Saturday 7pm, Free

City Stadium, Sandyford Saturday 6.30pm, Free Walker Park, Walker Saturday 6pm, Free

Segedunum Saturday 5.30pm, Free

25

26

THE COURIER Monday October 31 2011

musicreviews

Sound of the Overground Sam Summers casts a wry, sceptical eye over his beloved pop genre, praising the innovative and chastising the uninspired dregs of the charts.

Sometimes, boy bands make good songs.

Take, for example, ‘ABC’ by The Jackson 5, ‘The Love You Save’ by The Jackson 5, or ‘I Want You Back’ by The Jackson 5. More often than not, boy bands make unbearably saccharine mating-calls which hang limply in the Upper Chart Echelons from atop a totem pole of glistening torsos and screaming-damp hag-women. ‘Lightning’

by The Wanted �its into the second category.

The video for Kelly Clarkson’s new single ‘Mr. Know It All’ �inds our heroine sporting a handful of peacock feathers woven through her hair. This is by far the best thing about this (or any) pop song.

But does anyone remember how ‘My Life Would Suck Without You’ was basically completely ‘You Can’t Hurry Love?’ Well, ‘Mr. Know It All’ is basically completely ‘Just The Way You Are’. While the former is one of the Greatest Pop Songs of All Time, the latter is... ‘Just The Way You Are’. Good artists copy, and great artists steal, but only dung beetles steal shit.

Miss Clarkson, you are a dung beetle.

Hipster-approved lip goddess Lana Del Rey sidles her way into the chart with much-hyped sadballad ‘Video Games’.

I don’t want to add to the all-consuming void of ‘buzz’ which has devoured this track, but it is quite signi�icantly amazing. Speci�ically, the lyrics are amazing, the wee piano tinkles are amazing, and the bit in the second verse where she goes ‘video ga-hames’ is super amazing.

There’s a ridiculous glut of remixes on YouTube if you fancy dancing to it. Watch you don’t slip on the tears.

For those wishing to know how to pronounce the title, it’s “My-lo Zy-low-toe”, another strange title for Coldplays �ifth effort. As a concept album which Chris Martin has described as a “Love Rock Opera”, Mylo Xyloto was either going to be an emotion-fuelled story from start to �inish, infused with a new electro sound, or it could have sounded like Meatloaf. I hoped for the former.

The title track, an oriental-themed instrumental, opens the album before building into the upbeat, euphoric ‘Hurts like Heaven’ - no typical Coldplay-style pianos here, instead a brilliant LCD Soundsystem-style dance tune which puts an immediate smile on your face. The heavy basslines and synth of ‘Paradise’ are a new thing for the band, though they come together to make an inevitable stadium anthem, with plenty of crowd sing-a-long moments akin to X&Y’s ‘Fix You’. Solid indie pop songs serve the album well with the Viva la Vida-reminiscent ‘Charlie Brown’ maintaining the big sound that Coldplay have crafted for themselves, while ‘Every Teardrop is a Waterfall’ still feels fresh, even after its heavy radio circulation. A surprise comes

Passenger

Lisa Hannigan

Before I talk about ‘The One That Got Away’ I’d like to make it clear that I’m not prejudiced towards Katy Perry simply because of her horrible music. On the contrary, I absolutely adore ‘Teenage Dream’. I’m also a massive fan of her out�its, that bit in ‘California Gurls’ where Snoop Dogg commands an army of Gummi Bears, and both (both!) of her breasts.

Having said that, this song is horrendous, much like the rest of the incredibland emotionless pap she seems able to churn out without a shred of remorse. Avoid?

Avoid.

Lisa Hannigan’s part played in Damien Rice’s two albums O and 9 was an absolutely essential one, which took his music from something brilliant to something sublime. Breaking away on her own in 2009, her debut solo album Sea Sew, was a great success gaining her a US tour and a Mercury Music Prize nomination.

Her second album Passenger is no disappointment. Her distinctly Irish voice sometimes seems but a whisper, carrying the album along; the violins, mandolins, ukuleles and guitars merely an accompaniment to this. Lyrically, the album embodies its title Passenger, the songs taking on the themes of journeying in a tangled web of emotions, observations, love and relationships from ‘Walking Round Chicago’ to ‘The Edge of Dublin.’

There are traces of contemporary artists such as KT Tunstall, Laura Marling and PJ Harvey. Yet Lisa Hannigan does hold something unique, an organic humanity in her voice that is refreshing and soothing to the ear. The album is one that can have you up, feet stomping and raring to go yet equally have you completely relaxed, wrapped in a cosy blanket embracing the cold winter wind.

It is a wholesome and rounded album, one that has you encapsulated in a prettier world or, as one friend suggests, “it sounds like an advert for a beautiful place”.

Sam Summers

Amy Forde

Will someone please �ire the dickhead who told Justin Bieber that it was ok to say ‘shawty’? In ‘Mistletoe’ Bieber implies that his having a girlfriend is a miracle on par with the virgin birth of Jesus Christ. No arguments here. If I wanted Christmas pop sung by an adorable girl, I’d buy the Zooey Deschanel Christmas album. That is why I have bought the Zooey Deschanel Christmas album. Piss off.

Recommended download: Lana Del Rey - Video Games

Recommended download: ‘Knots’

thecourieronline.co.uk/music c2.music@ncl.ac.uk

Mylo Xyloto Solid indie pop songs serve the album well with the Viva la Vidareminiscent ‘Charlie Brown’ maintaining the big sound that Coldplay have crafted for themselves

Her distinctly Irish voice sometimes seems but a whisper, carrying the album along; the violins, mandolins, ukuleles and guitars merely an accompaniment to this.

in the form of ‘Princess of China’ featuring Rihanna; now, not being her biggest fan, I was sceptical. Servings of humble pie all round - the song reveals itself to be a synthy r’n’b-in�luenced pop hit with the duet between Chris Martin and Rihanna working well. Slower ballads are limited but the acoustic epic ‘Us Against the World’ is a reminder of the sound the band became famous for.

Before I proclaim it the album of the century, it is in no way �lawless. There are many strong songs, but in places it’s let down by tracks like ‘Major Minus’ which feels clunky and a bit of a mis�it on the album, while the dull ‘Up in Flames’ does little from its position sandwiched between stronger tracks.

So, Mylo Xyloto is a brilliant album that will sell masses. Admittedly, though strong throughout, it’s not as complete a record as the masterpiece Viva la Vida.

Though the new direction doesn’t work so well on a couple of tracks, the recipe for a great Coldplay album remains present: slower ballads, quirky charmers, and of course big anthems. Plus, at least it’s not Meatloaf.

Coldplay

Recommended download: ‘Hurts Like Heaven’ Tim Sewell

Bad As Me

Audio, Video, Disco

Bad As Me marks Tom Waits’ �irst album of new material in seven years, and it’s one that doesn’t disappoint.

The album takes a different approach from Waits’ recent albums, which were marked out by their embrace of the unconventional and reliance on Waits’ evergrizzled vocals. Bad As Me largely discards the beatboxing and vocal percussion in favour of more traditional styles. Though there is the risk some might see this as a step backwards, Waits pulls it off; the songs all sound fresh and engaging, and the traditional blues themes of hard times, injustice and loss are given new relevance.

Opening track ‘Chicago’ sets the tone for a more bombastic, jazz-in�luenced sound, and songs like ‘Get Lost’ follow up on this.

That said, there remains a mournful heart to the album, with some straight up blues in ‘Face to the Highway’. The album manages to balance the variation in styles with a cohesive feeling, due in no small part to Waits’ distinctive voice. Though his gravelly, rasping sound is more understated on the softer ballads, angry stomping track ‘Hell Broke Luce’ retains the percussive nature of ‘Real Gone’, proving Waits can still do heavy as well as soft.

Overall, Bad as Me might not be as immediately innovative as other releases, but with songs this well-crafted and memorable, it doesn’t really need to be.

Back in 2007, French duo Gaspard Augé and Xavier de Rosnay unleashed †, giving freshers a new anthem with ‘D.A.N.C.E’, making dance�loors tremble under the colossal bassline of ‘Waters of Nazareth’ and providing the perfect soundtrack should a zombie apocalypse ever arise with ‘Stress’.

The logical progression for album two?

‘70s prog-rock and ‘80s hair-metal, duh!

Audio, Video, Disco compounds Justice’s penchant for distorted disco with the classic rock of yore, and it’s no bad thing.

Opener ‘Horsepower’ is suitably bombastic, with squealing �inger-tapped synthesised guitars and a motorbike-engine rumble of a riff. ‘Ohio’ is where things get proggy with dreamy harmonies, a laidback funky vibe, and grown men singing “Ride on!”, before a squelching Beastie Boys-esque synth line crashes the party.

‘Canon (Primo)’ is a hilarious medieval pastoral intro to its bigger brother, an electro-metal behemoth which indulges in an arpeggiated solo as silly as it is brilliant.

From thereon out, Audio, Video, Disco is a poppier affair, lighter in tone than †.

To get the most from Audio, Video, Disco, listeners have to be willing to indulge in its sillier impulses. It’s not as ‘cool’ as † was, and not everyone will love this new Led Zep-in-a-videogame direction, but Justice keep things on the right side of ridiculous.

Including Gaspard’s handlebar ‘tache.

Ben Partridge

Ben Travis

Tom Waits

Recommended download: ‘Bad As Me’

Justice

Recommended download: ‘Horsepower’

THE COURIER Monday October 31 2011

featuresmusic

Live: The Joy Formidable

Newcastle Riverside, October 20 The Welsh three-piece visited the Toon’s Quayside as part of their world tour and brought with them their giant rock riffs and an energetic performance of tracks from their debut album The Big Roar released back in January.

The emergence of The Joy Formidable as a truly superb live act was con�irmed last Thursday night at Riverside.

Following a mixed set of support bands, with three-piece Creatures of Love failing

SceNE: O’Messy Life

Delving into the explosive North East music scene every week to bring you your new favourite local band.

Who are O’Messy Life?

David Littlefair (Guitar/vocals), Tom Bagnall (Bass), Matthew Weaver (Guitars/ Piano), Adam Scho�ield (Lead Guitar/ Woodblock), Alex Hall (Drums) What have you done with the band so far?

We’ve done 3 EPs off our own back, and we’ve got another set of songs which we’ve got saved up. We’ve got a new single called ‘Escape Velocity’, recorded at Blank Studios in the Ouseburn valley, released on a label called Tiny Lights Recordings based in Gateshead. In Newcastle, we’ve supported The Vaccines and Titus Andronicus, done a load of headline shows and played Split festival and Evolution Emerging.

Who are your musical heroes?

Weezer, Pixies, Titus Andronicus, Thermals, Pelican, Roy Orbison.

What was the �irst album you ever bought?

David: I got into Nu Metal when I was 13.

I was more into Linkin Park than Limp Bizkit. I don’t think I had the balls to be into Limp Bizkit! Or mine might have been a Catatonia album.

Tom: I bought lots of singles when I was a kid but I remember my �irst proper album being Rage Against The Machine’s debut.

What’s your favourite venue in Newcastle?

Tom: Working here, I’m contractually obliged to say The Cluny!

David: Either the Cluny or the Star and Shadow Cinema.

Who’s your favourite band on the Newcastle scene?

We really like Holy Mammoth, Baskin’s Wish and Brilliant Mind. We share a practice room with Holy Mammoth.

What’s next for the band?

We’re hopefully going to do two concept EPs, one full of rock tunes and one full of ballads with doom guitar breaks in it.

They’re going to be based on the American space exploration missions. We’re hopefully going to be touring loads more in the new year now that we’ve got a van.

Where and when can we see you next?

On November 11 we’ll be supporting Summer Camp at the Dog & Parrot.

Ben Travis

There is no doubt that The Joy Formidable have well and truly arrived.

to endear themselves to the Newcastle public and Northern Irish instrumentalists And So I Watch You From Afar providing an energetic start to the evening, the Welsh rock out�it took to the stage and never looked back.

Opener ‘A Heavy Abacus’ was greeted with roars of approval from the crowd and set the tone for the rest of the evening. Set highlights included ‘I Don’t Want To See You Like This’, which saw frontwoman Ritzy Bryan show off her outstanding vocal range, and a powerful rendition of ‘The Magnifying Glass’ that threatened to blow the roof off the place. Without doubt, however, ‘Cradle’

stole the title of song of the night with its frenetic pace and intense drum beats showcasing a band at the top of their game. Bassist Rhydian Dafydd and drummer Matt Thomas combined exquisitely with Bryan for epic set closer ‘Whirring’ and left the audience in awe of what they’d just witnessed.

Having now �irmly established themselves as stand-out performers on the live music scene, there is no doubt that The Joy Formidable have well and truly arrived. With a few more stellar albums behind them, there are simply no boundaries to what they can achieve.

S.C.U.Mmy man Having received considerable praise for their debut album Again Into Eyes, Kris Holland caught up with Tom Cohen, lead singer of new art-punk hopefuls S.C.U.M, ahead of their performance as part of the NME Radar Tour.

Despite Cohen’s reputation for being pretentious and dif�icult to interview, in person he turned out to be surprisingly approachable and endearing. It also helped that he was wearing a fur waistcoat, which was absolutely mad.

“Again Into Eyes is a lyric from the album,” Cohen says of the album name. “We didn’t want to just use a song title or go self-titled either. If we’d made a record two years ago when we started then we may have done a self-titled release, but when this title was put forward, it seemed to complete the record.”

Formed in 2008, S.C.U.M have been though numerous ‘re�lexive cartwheels’ (as their website puts it). Ex-bassist Rhys went on to join The Horrors, a band S.C.U.M are compared to frequently.

“We’ve always had a relationship with The Horrors, pretty much since our third gig when their synth player Tom Cowan came up to us and said, ‘Chuck out your drummer, get a drum machine, you’re all getting synths and this is what you’re doing’.”

So, following advice from The Horrors or not, the band have recently recruited a new member (or had a re�lexive cartwheel, whichever you prefer) in the

Check out The Courier Music section online for a whole host of webexclusive live reviews, Chris Taylor’s Ocean Of Noise

We’ve always had a relationship with The Horrors, pretty much since our third gig

Matthew Aston

form of drummer Mel Rigby.

Though S.C.U.M is allegedly an acronym for ‘Society for Cutting Up Men’, a radical feminist manifesto which claims that the world can survive as a solo sex, Cohen asserts that Mel’s recruitment isn’t a move towards masculine mutilation.

“Mel is an amazing drummer who very much makes it look effortless, and she dominates the album cover,” he says, con�irming that all of our loins are quite safe for the moment.

As ever, when a band is greeted with huge amounts of hype, there’s the inevitable backlash – in S.C.U.M’s case, the damning title of ‘most pretentious band in Britain’.

“That was just the Daily Mail. I don’t think they hold pretention awards, and I don’t think there were any other nominees,” jokes Tom. So, is the claim denied?

“The way that we approach things isn’t welcoming and that can seem pretentious, but I think that some of the pretention is based around insecurity, be it from us, or those making the accusation. It’s not something I’m ever going to take into consideration when making choices.”

Pretentious or not, then, S.C.U.M are de�initely a band on the up. They aren’t the arty Horrors copycats that they’ve been accused of being, but neither are they cut from the same cloth as any other band around at the moment. They’re dif�icult and atmospheric, but at the same time their sprawling soundscapes should pave a way forward for them to reach even greater success.

Soon in the Toon...

Getting you set for November in Newcastle.

Live:

Tuesday 1 - Tinie Tempah, Metro Radio Arena.

Thursday 3 - Britney Spears, Metro Radio Arena Friday 4 - Wiz Khalifa, o2 Academy Saturday 5 - Arctic Monkeys, Metro Radio Arena Sunday 6 - Hyde & Beast, The Cluny Tuesday 8 - Rise Against, o2 Academy Tuesday 8 - Guillemots, Riverside Thursday 10 - Mausi, The Cluny Friday 11 - Givers, The Sage

Saturday 12 - Dananananaykroyd, The Cluny Monday 14 - Smashing Pumpkins, o2 Academy Tuesday 15 - Friendly Fires, o2 Academy Thursday 17 - Battles, Gateshead Old Town Hall Friday 18 - Yuck, o2 Academy2 Saturday 26 - Hanson, o2 Academy Sunday 27 - Rihanna, Metro Radio Arena Tuesday 29 - The Drums, o2 Academy

27

On the record Classic albums Fresh perspective

Until last week, I had never listened to Bruce Springteen’s Born to Run.

Springsteen is a legend, so I’m told, but I had never heard any of his albums. Born to Run is my �irst and won’t be my last.

One of my �irst encounters with ‘The Boss’ was his cameo in the �ilm High Fidelity - I couldn’t help but watch in awe at how cool he was, jamming with his guitar whilst giving sage counsel on matters of love.

Born to Run is now 36 years old and, at rare times, its age shows, making you feel like you could be in a 70s US TV series. If you’ve heard the album, then you were probably introduced through your parents. They will have grown up with the album, a generation looking for a sound to de�ine itself and to really connect with.

We, the new generation, will compare him to modern day artists, saying “he sounds like…”, though it’s these artists who have been in�luenced by and sound like him. I �ind myself doing this several times throughout the record, realising just how much of an in�luence he has had upon music.

As soon as I push play, what hits me is the precision and perfection of every song - I have never come across an album that sounds so perfect; it’s �lawless. This, you would think, might make for a clinical album lacking soul, but exactly the opposite is true - this strive for perfection adds something special. Springsteen’s vocals are the star, his lovely deep warm tone offset by his gravelly Tom Waits-style belting. He is the quintessential hometown working class hero, and this comes through in his songs.

Is this one of the best albums of all time? I don’t know. It is an album that has in�luenced a generation of musicians. But for me it’s one that has grown with every play; there’s always something new to discover in its multitude of layers, plus you can’t help but fall in love with Springsteen’s vocals. There are certain albums you will always remember where you were and what you felt when you �irst heard them. This won’t be one of those for me. To me, Born to Run is an album that with every revolution manages to ingratiate itself further and further up the echelons of my record collection. I can’t help but wonder though, had I been there when it was �irst released, in that generation looking for a story teller, someone to connect with during a period of struggle, could it have been a de�ining album of my life?

Alexander Brophy

28

THE COURIER Monday October 31 2011

sciencenews

5 things you need to know about...

This month in science

thecourieronline.co.uk/science c2.science@ncl.ac.uk

Malaria-Gate

Bill Gates Foundation sits on the fence as malaria vaccine trial offers renewed hope Joe Willet

1

Physicists still argue over the apparent discovery of faster-than-light particles.

If ultimately proved to exist, Einstein’s theory of relativity breaks down and the laws of physics that govern the universe are compromised…oops.

2

An international team of scientists gathered in the Siberian tundra to discuss the existence of the mythical yeti. They are now more than 95% sure such creatures exist. Following a two-day expedition in the Azassky cave, footprints, hairs and territorial markers (including a possible sleeping area) were identi�ied. Is this a miracle of modern science or a potential �loodgate opener for conspiracy theorists everywhere?

3

Scientists implant a device into a monkey’s brain that allow it to control a robotic arm using only thought in order to receive some juice; the technology is hoped to revolutionise the technology used in bionic limbs for amputees, who may or may not also want some juice.

4

A long lost species of hobbit-like apes as yet unrecorded in science, the Orang Pendek, are being tracked in the forests of Sumatra. Eyewitnesses also claim a second species, the Orang Kardil (‘tiny men’) who hunt with poisoned bamboo spears, inhabit the same area. These little guys may be surviving members of the Australopithecines, direct ancestors of humans thought to be extinct for millennia.

5

This month the Earth’s population climbed to an all time high, reaching an estimated 7 billion. Although population growth is slowing, the fact that water tables are falling, climate change is shortening growing seasons and urbanization is destroying agricultural land, the logistics of survival are becoming stretched. At its current rate of expansion, the human population on Earth could exceed 10 billion by 2050.

Mark Atwill Science Editor

T

he results of a trial for a potential malaria vaccine were announced last week in the New England Journal of Medicine. The study suggests that the vaccine – known as RTS,S – has the potential to reduce malaria episodes in babies and young children by over 50%. Although that may not sound overly impressive, the prevalence of the disease means the vaccine stands to save millions of lives, and it could be available in as little as three years.

Malaria is caused by a parasite spread by mosquitoes and kills over 700,000 people a year, even though it is relatively easy to treat when diagnosed early.

The reason for this high mortality rate is simple: malaria is a disease of the third world, and third world countries don’t have the medical infrastructure required to offer the required treatment on demand. Mosquito nets, insecticides and the practice of draining stagnant water (the breeding ground of mosquitoes) have been successful, but to really take the �ight to malaria an effective vaccine is needed.

So if a vaccine is the solution, how come there hasn’t been one until now? The an-

Illustration: Oscar Dempsey

swer lies in the complexity of the malaria parasite. It is more complex than both viruses and bacteria and shares common features with human cells. However, due to the complicated life cycle of the parasite, there are many possible molecules for a vaccine to target.

What is required is time to �ind the right target and – of course – money. Enter Bill Gates.

“The eradication of malaria is an ambitious goal and a long-term goal — but a goal Melinda and I are 100 percent committed to.” So says the Microsoft chairman and wellknown philanthropist.

Indeed, so far Bill Gates has been putting his money where his mouth is. The PATH Malaria Vaccine

X-Ray Specs

Newcastle Uni named UK centre for advanced X-ray technology

N

ewcastle University has been chosen by the Engineering and Physical Sciences Research Council (EPSRC) to house a state-of-the-art X ray facility that will facilitate research into green energy.

Opened last week by EPSRC Chief Executive Dave Delpy, the world-leading facility will be the UK hub for the National Photoelectron Spectroscopy (XPS) service.

XPS is a system that operates at one trillionth atmospheric pressure, detecting surface contamination and providing information on chemical and electrical properties at an atomic level. The technology will be applied in the development of new technology, perhaps most intriguingly in advancing research into Micro-Electro-Mechanical-Systems (MEMS). MEMS allow the integration of many components on a single microchip, and have the potential for far-reaching applications in high technology ranging from cell-speci�ic drug delivery to interactive computer games.

Professor Peter Cumpson of the Newcastle School of Mechanical and Systems Engineering, who will head up the new service, explained: “XPS Newcastle will be a major boost to both our research capabilities and our teaching programme, giving us access to cutting-edge technology that will further our understanding of surface interactions and potentially lead to the discovery and development of new technologies. The fact that we have won this contract is a re�lection of the excellent, world-leading research taking place here at Newcastle University and we are extremely grateful to EPSRC for giving us this opportunity.”

Professor Delpy added: “EPSRC’s new

The fact that we have won this contract is a re�lection of the excellent, world-leading research taking place here at Newcastle University

suite of mid-range facilities underpin the outstanding research being done across the UK in the engineering and physical sciences whilst providing an excellent level of service. XPS has a wide range of applications and the EPSRC National Centre at Newcastle has an exciting vision for the future of this cutting-edge technology and how to ensure the delivery of state of the art XPS capabilities for UK users.”

Such high technology will doubtless attract researchers from around the UK with a variety of research backgrounds. It is hoped that their collaboration will expand the potential uses of the technique and in doing so, provide answers to a variety of important scienti�ic questions.

Mark Atwill Science Editor

Initiative was set up in 1999 with money from the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation, and it is PATH – along with the UK drug company GlaxoSmithKline – that have provided the �inancial backing for this research. GSK have agreed to sell the vaccine at just over cost-price, with any pro�its being subsequently used for further research. It is a clever move from an industry not well known for its altruism.

Potential sufferers of malaria don’t have the money to pay for a vaccine; why not let them have it as cheaply as possible? It is good PR after all.

It is important to note that even if RTS,S is proved to be a safe and effective vaccine, the �ight against malaria doesn’t end here. The eventual cost of the vaccine is still unknown, as is the duration of protection it provides. Also, because of its rapid growth inside hosts, the malaria parasite has a high mutation rate which could lead to the development of resistance. Indeed, malaria parasites in south-east Asia have already shown resistance to a widely used anti-malarial drug.

Continuous vaccine and anti-malarial drug development will be needed in order to combat any resistant parasite strains.

Are GSK and the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation in it for the long haul? The latter have yet to say whether they will fund the vaccine, citing the fact that half of the data from the trial are yet to be released.

We’ll see, but right now we should be glad that such a deadly disease �inally appears to be on the back foot.

Could Facebook make you cleverer?

Recent study links greater number of friends to greater level of intellect

H

ow many ‘friends’ do you have on Facebook? 200? 300? 600? If you’re up at the higher end, you might have a better-developed brain.

Last week, a team of researchers based in UCL published the results of a study in which they took MRI scans of students’ heads and compared these results to the number of friends they had on Facebook.

The results were pretty interesting - the students with more Facebook friends tended to have more grey matter in certain parts of their brain.

Does this mean that you’re better off spending your time tagging last night’s photos than doing that essay due next week? Well, maybe.

The sections with extra growth were the left MTG, right STS and right entorhinal cortex, as well as the amygdala - with some likely bene�its. The right entorhinal cortex, for example, is involved in memory formation for pairs of items - including pairs of names and faces. The MTG and STS regions, meanwhile, are correlated with sympathising with other people.

Mind you, the extra brainpower identi�ied by the researchers is probably a result of the fact that being more sociable in general boosts these areas, rather than simply clicking “add friend” several hundred times. In fact, the students surveyed that had more Facebook friends usually had large social groups in real life, too.

Mind you, who’s to say the students aren’t more social because of the extra grey matter, rather than the other way round? Don’t count on Facebook to improve your grades just yet.

Elliot Bentley Deputy Editor

THE COURIER Monday October 31 2011

featuresscience

thecourieronline.co.uk/science c2.science@ncl.ac.uk

weirdscience Toilet readers of the world

I

nstead of doing something more worthwhile, paediatric gastroenterology specialist Ron Shaoul has recently completed an investigation into whether the common habit of toilet reading is cause for concern in public health.

A widespread and private matter, the practice has been habitually neglected by scientists, despite enjoying an illustrious and long-standing place behind the closed doors of the masses.

Perhaps the practice dates back to the invention of the printed book, and as such is the spiritual domain of the author. Indeed, it has long been commented by illustrious literary �igures that there is bene�it to be attained from bog book browsing, to extract more correctly the ‘�lavour’ of the great works. Odd choice of words.

Medically, one only has to consider only two, vague, euphemistically scatological questions. Does the reading material somehow become contaminated over time? And does the act of reading affect the other, more biological act?

Self confessed toilet reader and director of the London School of Hygiene and Tropical Medicine Val Curtis stated that while there may be a “theoretical risk, we don’t need to get anal about it”. Microbes don’t survive well on absorbent surfaces, and are in fact much more likely to endure on mobile phones, laptops and tablets (beware, toilet Angry Birds players).

Hand-washing and a natural squeamishness about �luids excremental should be suf�icient to protect oneself from infection.

However, he was forced to admit that, in terms of the de�initive probability of picking up an infection, “for the determined, there is always a way”. The mechanics of this, I leave to your imagination.

The only �indings Shaoul’s study suggested were that toilet readers consider themselves less constipated, although more likely to suffer from hemorrhoids; differences were, however, negligible. Ultimately, the study concluded the act to be harmless, and if nothing else a good way to alleviate the boredom of a mundane (yet necessary) task. As Val Curtis disclosed, “I always have New Scientist by the toilet. I use it as distraction therapy. I don’t particularly want to think about crapping.” Nor do I Val, about you I mean.

Environmation

Technology

It’s birthing season for the grey seal pups of the Farne Islands

Emma Summerscales

O

ff the coast of Northumbria lie the Farne Islands, which are home to a number of wildlife species. Amongst many species of bird, the islands boast a special guest at this time of year. They are some of nature’s cutest babies, found on calendars and desktop screensavers everywhere - seal pups.

There are actually two types of seals in the UK; grey and common. As is perhaps easy to elucidate, grey seals (Halichoerus grypus for all you biologists) are far less abundant, and it is this species that gives birth to the cute white �luffy babies every year from October to November. Around 1000 pups are born on the Farne Islands which accounts for 3% of seals born annually across the whole of the UK, making this a substantial and bountiful event. It certainly means that should you manage to convince your degree programme leader that a trip to see the nice baby animals is absolutely necessary, you’re de�initely going to see one.

Around 1000 pups are born on the Farne Islands which accounts for 3% of seals born annually across the whole of the UK, making this a substantial and bountiful event

Throughout the rest of the year they are found in the North-East Atlantic, from the northern Svalbard islands to southern Iceland, so why come to the Farne Islands to breed? It would appear that it’s simply an ideal environment for them. They like choppy waters and rocks to haul themselves up onto, as they need to give birth on-shore (these birthing areas are known as ‘rookerys’) which this rocky, coastal location provides them with. The females give birth to a single pup, and feed it on milk which is up to 60% fat-no semiskimmed here. The pups build up a thick layer of blubber which comes in handy when, after just three weeks, their mother abandons them and they lose their white coats. It is then up to the young seals, driven by hunger, to make the big step into the sea all by themselves. Survival rates are just 45% through the winter months, but those that make it into adulthood can easily reach the age of thirty.

Other notable wildlife on the islands include puf�ins and vast numbers of other nesting birds which bring tens of thousands of tourists to the islands every year. Basking sharks, dolphins and even a humpback whale are all reported to have been seen over the past few years, which, although it may prompt a few raised eyebrows, has certainly put visiting the Farnes on my to do list.

Information is widely available as the islands are under the care of the National Trust, and there are various boat trips and tours available to help you get the best out of your visit. So next time you feel a bout of procrastination coming on, remember that all this lies right on our doorstep.

Mark Atwill

talkingtough

The increasing trend of cannabis use

Lauren Tough

A

recent publication by the National Treatment Agency for Substance Misuse has shown that cannabis use is on the rise in people aged 18-24 years. The statistics are especially worrying as there is strong evidence to suggest the adverse effects, namely anxiety, psychosis and depression, are far worse in younger users.

Studies found that symptoms occurred even in those using it less than weekly, a statistic, which may coincide with the fact that some cannabis strains are up to 25 times more potent than what was available a decade ago.

Adolescents are the most vulnerable to alterations in brain physiology, which lead to psychosis and loss of cognitive function, due to their stage of mental development.

The CNS develops over a long period of time, which extends from the embryonic stage through adolescence until adulthood. Users with a diathesis for psychosis can experience these side effects more

strongly. A direct dose-response relationship has been found between the development of psychotic symptoms or disorder, and the frequency of cannabis use. One study in particular found that development of schizophrenia was 2.4 times more likely in those who have used cannabis by age 18. Aside from cognitive effects, regular cannabis smokers report more symptoms of chronic bronchitis than nonsmokers, and as a result of the associated immunological damage, have higher rates of respiratory infections and pneumonia.

Cannabis use can affect a society, not just an individual, with studies �inding it to be the illicit drug most often detected in drivers who have been injured or killed in motor vehicle crashes. The adverse effects of cannabis on adolescents are linked with poorer educational outcomes and an increased likelihood of using other illicit drugs. There are arguments for the decriminalisation of cannabis for personal use, but one wonders whether this would only increase abuse, leading to more grave adverse effects on an individual’s health and on society as a whole.

science meets film

How realistic is Contagion?

D

r Ian Lipkin, Columbia University professor of epidemiology, neurology and pathology, has warned that the plot of the new viral pandemic blockbuster Contagion is anything but unrealistic.

Viral outbreaks are an increasing threat in our modern global economy, where international travel, trade and migration are commonplace. Couple that with a crippling population explosion and the stage is set for disaster.

The movie draws inspiration from reallife viral outbreaks and the characters are based on those who have given their lives in the service of public health. As Lipkin explains: “There are scenes in the movie that directly come out of my vivid memories of what it was like in Beijing during the Sars crisis.”

Despite ominous predictions for our downfall, Lipkin remains upbeat, as he explains: “There is reason to be optimistic, and I believe we can address the problems. We are one world and we need to take care of one another.”

For The Courier review of Contagion check out page 23.

Mark Atwill Science Editor

29

There are scenes in the movie that directly come out of my vivid memories of what it was like in Beijing during the Sars crisis.

The Carbon Revolution

Tom Feltham

W

hat do James Watts, the lyrics of Marc Bolan and a peasant’s rebellion in 18th century France have in common?

Well, they all started a revolution, and many believe that you can now add carbon nanotechnology to that list.

Ever since Sumio Lijima published his 1991 paper on the synthesis of ‘needlelike tubes’ of carbon, the list of potential applications of these carbon allotropes has been ever-growing. From vehicles for targeted drug delivery to invisibility cloaks, at �irst glance their versatility is awe-inspiring. So, what is it that makes ever-present carbon atoms into these wonder materials? The answer lies within their structure.

Perhaps the most exciting of the carbon nano-forms is graphene, which has recently been isolated by Andre Geim and Konstantin Novoselov of Manchester University (who shared the Nobel Prize for physics for their work). Graphene is made up of a ‘honeycomb’ of carbon atoms which form a 2-D sheet structure.

Incredibly, the monolayer sheets were isolated with the help of that old arts and crafts favourite, sticky tape. The structure of graphene gives the material a strength 100 times greater than steel, and electrical conductivity greater than that of copper. This strength and conductivity gives it incredible potential as an electrical component in everything from touchscreens to solar cells. It has even been proposed as a replacement for silicon in computer chips.

Not to be outdone by their more hip cousin, other carbon allotropes have been making a technological resurgence partly due to their ever-decreasing manufacturing costs ($1000 per gram to $50 per gram in the last ten years). In fact perhaps one of the most ‘Hollywood’ applications for carbon nanotechnology has come from the development of a carbon nanotube ‘invisibility cloak’.

Researchers at the University of Texas at Dallas managed to create every Harry Potter fan’s dream due to the ‘mirage effect’ produced when carbon nanotubes are heated. This effect, similar to that seen on the horizon on a hot day, is due to light bending as hot air rises, creating a displaced image. The bad news for all you Harry Potter enthusiasts is that these carbon nanotubes were heated and cooled over an extreme temperature range whilst submerged in water. Not that practical whilst trying to sneak around Hogwarts.

With uses abounding and media coverage an ex-Big Brother housemate would be proud of, you can see why the government feels compelled to inject £50 million into the research of this nanotechnology.

Hopefully this money will allow the further development of these materials and the growth of the UK as a base for nanotechnologies. With measures such as this in place, the scienti�ic community looks well placed for another technological rev-

The structure of a Carbon nanotube

30

THE COURIER Monday October 31 2011

lifestylefeatures

Coping with chaos in the kitchen

Ridhu Bhatia questions how much is too much?

So here we are, in a new city, new university, with new people and new �lat mates.

With all the ‘newness’ comes a lot of sharing and the main thing is a kitchen. So amongst the undercooked rice and burnt toast, the kitchen is also a cool place to hang out and to get to know your �latmates.

So there are almost eight hungry people in one room, trying to do something which most of them are not very good at. Some sparks are sure to �ly, and I don’t mean the lovey-dovey romantic sparks, I mean the angry and frustrated ones.

Here are a few things that de�initely must go through every person’s mind at least once: “Why doesn’t she wash her dirty dishes?”

“What is he cooking? That stinks!”

“Why does she have to take up the whole counter?”

“The fridge looks like a dumping ground!”

“Where are my chicken �illets?”

“Oh God please let the kitchen be empty.”

“Is he having friends over again?”

“Why can’t they clean the working area?”

These are just the tip of the iceberg that are the kitchen woes. So how do you deal with this? As cooking is an important part of life (obviously!) and anyone would want it to be as smooth an experience as possible.

Wash your dirty dishes in public! It might guilt others into going it as well.

Dirty dishes are no fun for anyone. They stink and take up unnecessary space. And it’s better to �inish an unpleasant task than keep it for later.

Turn on the extractor fans. These are the rectangular thingymajigs hanging above the stove. They work like chimneys and Illustration: Jennifer Dodsworth

suck out the smell and the smoke. So if your �latmate is cooking something with a smell that is unbearable to you tell them to turn it on, or just do it yourself. It will also prevent false �ire alarms.

If someone is taking up a lot of space and you need to chop something up, the easiest way to make space for yourself is just to nudge their stuff closer to them and if they are polite they will automatically remove it themselves. If not, well it will be better to �ind another place.

Keep your shelf in the fridge clean and free of spoilt food. Also tell the people with whom you are sharing the fridge with to do the same. If the fridge is too full, the cooling is not effective and causes food to spoil faster. And if one thing rots it causes a chain reaction and everything around it also meets the same fate so keep checking the fridge for spoilt food.

You can’t stop people who steal things, but it’s better to keep non-spoilable things in the cupboard and lock it. The rest is in God’s (and the thief’s) hands. Try to keep only as much as you need in the fridge and use it up in a day or two so that if there is a thief in your kitchen, they don’t have anything to steal! If all else fails then you can simply hide somewhere in the kitchen and catch them red-handed! No escaping it then.

The best way to avoid kitchen un-pleasantries is to try cooking at the time when no one is there; you can take your time and really enjoy the art of cooking. Make enough food for two meals so you

won’t need to use the kitchen again for some time.

If your �latmates always have friends over and are taking up the whole kitchen, the best way to resolve the issue is to talk to them. If you are not up to it then you can always try sighing deeply, bumping into them while trying to cook your own food and giving them angry looks! Although this could make them really start to dislike you as a �latmate altogether.

If you want to throw a

party, inform all the other people using the kitchen beforehand, so you are not on the receiving end of dirty looks.

If you �ind left-over, slimy food in the sink, or the microwave looks like something has been murdered in it there are two roads you can take: ask whoever did it to clean it, or just close your eyes and do it yourself. Remember it’s just food (hopefully). It’s alright when you’re in halls and you can leave it for the cleaner to do.

There is no problem that cannot be solved by talking. If that doesn’t work, then the only option you have is to complain. Tell the reception and they will try to issue a warning to everyone else.

The best way to enjoy sharing a kitchen is by making friends, sit there while someone else is cooking, strike up a conversation. Maybe they are not as bad as you think!

Illustration: Emma Rawsthorne

Ask Aunty Angela Despite her disappointment last week after totally misunderstanding the aim of the SHAG tent, a deeply unsatisfied Aunty Angela is here again to solve all your worries the same so don’t give up on it altogether, I just stress that you must be careful.

I’ve been seeing this guy for two weeks and we’re getting on really well. But it’s his birthday on Monday - I feel like I’ve known him for ages but is it still too soon to give him a present?

Help, I’m in love with my best friend.

I see her every day and we are really close but she just thinks it’s friendly love whether I think of her differently.

Should I say something?

You have to be careful here. Before you make any sort of move you MUST be sure of her feelings because you are on the edge of either making or ruining your relationship. Maybe con�ide in a friend and see if they have any answers, just make sure they do not tell her because if she doesn’t feel the same this information may make her uncomfortable and awkward towards you. But you can’t forget that she may feel

I would say yes. Get him a card and something small but funny, maybe something he has brought up in previous conversation? Whatever you do, do not buy something large or expensive. This will give him the impression that you are more serious than you are and you will do nothing but scare him off. Just be relaxed about it.

I really fancy this girl in my lecture hall but I don’t know how to approach her.

Surely Aunty Angela had to deal with this in her uni days, help?!

First off I beg of you not to start with any cheesy chat up line – they just make you

look like a tool. I think you will have to bite the bullet and ask her if she fancies going for a coffee after the lecture. That way it’s completely relaxed and if she says no there is no huge embarrassment on your side, and if you’re lucky enough that she says yes then who knows where it may lead.

I love my Mum to bits but she keeps phoning me every night checking I’m ok. At �irst it was sweet but I’m �inding it increasingly annoying and it’s affecting my social life! How do I tell her to stop without sounding mean?

Unfortunately when it comes to parents you have to be harsh. She is probably phoning to make sure you’re ok and not lonely, but you have to make her realise that you are ok and it’s time for her to let go. Try breaking to her that you can’t talk every day because you’re busy, but try suggesting that you will call every Sunday or at least once a week so that she still

feels part of your life. She’s not stopping you doing other things with your time.

My �latmate keeps listening to porn really loudly in the next room. This would be weird in itself, but the thing is it’s a girl and she’s really quiet normally and quite shy. I’ve never heard her even crack a fart, nevermind a lewd joke. What do I do as I’m not getting any sleep?!

If you have any problems you need help with, email Aunty Angela at c2.lifestyle@ ncl.ac.uk

Well personally I would make a joke about it with her. This will prevent her from being embarrassed, but will also give her the message that you can hear her watching it.

If she or you are not that kind of person I would talk to her separately and ask her to turn it down. Maybe leave out that it’s porn, but just ask her to turn down whatever it is she is listening to as it is making it hard for you to sleep. If that still doesn’t work then I will once again reinforce the importance of a good pair of earplugs you can always pick them up cheap!

THE COURIER Monday October 31 2011

sex&relationshipslifestyle

Blind Date

Tashin’ on in the Toon Victoria Mole

Claud Day, Maths graduate, meets Ben Parkin, Media and communications Claud on Ben First Impressions?

The �irst impressions were good, pretty much spot on with who I expected actually and unfortunately not my type. I was not going to let this get in the way as this was a refreshing change from the usual way to meet guys and I was looking forward to having a couple of beverages on a Sunday afternoon on my rare day off from work.

What did you talk about?

Anything and everything. Topics included course at uni, what we did work-wise, our love for small compact cars, hatred for the Carlisle to Newcastle road, stress at living in a house of seven and the life and times of Twitter. I think I may have rambled more as the pints progressed and seem to remember delving into talking about our exes which last time I checked wasn’t �irst date material, but we continued anyway.

Any awkward moments?

The goodbye. But then there aren’t perfect goodbyes really. My housemate arrived who was ALSO on a date and it coincided with the end of ours. Also Ben seemed to need the toilet a lot as pints ‘go right through him’ but that gave me ample time to update my select mates about how the date was going.

Anything in common?

Distinct lack of time-keeping. We postponed the date again on the day as I was running late only to �ind that Ben was also running late. Our lives and schedules must just be so busy! We probably had things here and there in common and the conversation �lowed easily all afternoon, but nothing that struck me as making us a perfect match.

Best thing them?

about

The ease of conversation and his wicked trainers.

Did you go anywhere afterwards?

No we didn’t. I felt like our time had come to an end and I was starving at this point so needed some form of nourishment to complete my day.

Would you meet again?

Would chat if we bumped into each other on a night out.

Marks out of 10

5 and a half. You know what, the date wasn’t a bad date as far as they go. We chatted on loads and drank plenty in a really nice place (No28 in town, a beaut little bar above Grainger Market) so for that I cannot fault it. However I have to look at it as far as dates are concerned and with Ben not being my type, the �lirty banter and kiss at the end of the night were not there.

Ben on Claud First Impressions?

I was actually really nervous about going on a blind date (I’d never really done anything like that before), but when I met him there was absolutely no reason for me to be nervous. Claud was friendly and very welcoming – I felt like I’d been friends with him for a very long time really. Lacking slightly in con�idence I was really worried about the blind date, but it was no different than going to the pub for a few drinks with an old pal.

What did you talk about?

Nothing more than chitchat really. We chatted about uni, where we’re from and, amazingly, cars (for those of you who think gays are feminine). We did at one point begin to talk about exes, which really is delving into dangerous waters, but our mutual disdain for them gave us quite a bit to talk about. We had quite a long talk about our jobs, both in cafes, and how bad things have gone on some days at work. It seemed to be turning into a bit of a competition for ‘who has had the worst day at work?’.

Any awkward ments?

mo-

I’d say the goodbye was quite awkward. But it always is on a date I think, even if it’s with someone that you’ve really hit it off with. It’s dif�icult to test how far you should go to say goodbye, a regretful handshake, a hug, a kiss? We stuck with a friendly hug goodbye.

Anything in common?

We both have issues with being on time.

Not only did we rearrange the day of meeting up, but half an hour before the organised time, we postponed it another half an hour because both of us were running late.

Doesn’t make too bad an impression if the other person is exactly the same!

Best thing about them?

Claud was really friendly and really funny.

He had a lot of funny stories to share about some of the mutual friends that we had.

Did you go anywhere afterwards?

We were in the bar for about 3 hours, so I was actually pretty hungry and embarrassingly I wanted to get home to catch who was eliminated on X-factor.

Would you meet again?

I would meet Claud again, but it would only be as a friend. He was a great laugh and I think he’d make a great mate.

Marks out of 10

31

If I had to rate the date itself I think I’d go with a 5. I’ve had much better, but I’ve also had worse. The date didn’t feel much different than idle chitchat with a friend, rather than a date. If I was rating Claud I’d go with a 7 because he was lovely and made me laugh quite a lot.

In last week’s issue I was one of the many to enjoy 5 Reasons Why Bruno Mars has ruined everything for everyone and it’s a relief to not be the only one to feel this way.

Many girls do enjoy a bit of Bruno, after all, he is learning how to dougie (a skill that is rather high in the irresistibility stakes) and I can’t fault how useful he would be should I ever need to transport a piano, so I shan’t dismiss the man just yet.

However even the most enthusiastic optimist will surrender to a period of cynicism at some point and mine happened to be around the release of Just the Way You Are. Not even Gok Wan could convince me that the matted mess my hair is just after a shower ‘falls perfectly’; and sometimes hoping for a coherent text message can be a long shot, let alone the possibility of witnessing a man diving (think John Terry: England vs Slovenia) for an exploding grenade leaving behind nothing but a diamond engagement ring. Maybe Bruno Mars would ‘do anything’ for his Megan Fox lookalike, and maybe it’s just the line of a sex pest.

Additionally, as feel-good as One Direction’s What Makes You Beautiful is, I can’t help but imagine Harry Styles on the prowl, seeking out the insecure ones. On an equally troubling note, songs about unrequited love are often so depressing that all they make you want to do is hibernate in a onesie (only to inadvertently remind yourself that you, too, are a ‘one’sie).

The older you get the more apparent it becomes that fairy tales end with an empty ice cream tub and Walt Disney’s name in the credits. The reality is, living in a fairy tale can involve: shacking up with seven little men that have poor personal hygiene, falling in love with a creature who’s beyond the help of a back wax and having a little red crab for a best friend.

Life doesn’t get much more unfortunate.

The closest thing to being serenaded like a Disney character that we can ever hope for is being merrily slurred an Usher song outside Liquid by a boy in a Carnage tshirt riding his wingman (or failing that a nearby skip); admittedly this would be in�initely less of an awkward situation than being approached by a man singing opera in chainmail on top of a stallion. If you’re still sat thinking that you want to marry royalty, be warned that your wedding may well be upstaged by your sister’s backside on national television.

Hollywood is as misleading as Disney by delivering the message that two people with enough chemistry will always be together regardless. It appeals to the hope inside people, it’s what we all want to see and explains why we’re still on team Chuck and Blair!

I’d once wanted to believe that I was part of my own Carrie Bradshaw and Mr Big affair, to later realise that the only thing the endings have in common is that I’m a relationships columnist with a shoe fetish.

Nevertheless I haven’t yet felt compelled to write bad song lyrics as I have better taste in men than Carrie Bradshaw, don’t have a �ire-breathing stepmother and on my wedding day I’ll make sure that the only backside stealing the show’ll be mine.

32

THE COURIER Monday October 31 2011

lifestyle

Ian JonesPennyPincher Shorthand Disney Society

Who? The Disney Society

So, Simba’s pride… but human?

Hmmmm, well there are some fanaticsbut we wouldn’t go that far. These people just appreciate their Disney drama, plain and simple.

Hence the title… But what do they actually do? So far all that’s envisioned is a multitude of Sleeping Beauties/Buzz Lightyears wandering the streets of Newcastle…

Actually this is a real �ire-starter for the recently established contingent: ‘People think we just sit around and love Disney’but there are quizzes and craft evenings, as well as outings to the big screen (a Lion King 3D trip is imminent): ‘We’re not really a drunken society- it’s nice because we actually get to know one another sober.’

That’s what they all say… Come now, Mr. Incredible taking on Sinners each Tuesday seems a priceless opportunity, no?

In fairness that’s how the society begun: just a group of friends who loved Disneyand an ‘incredible’ night out. But this year, especially, it’s different- the �irst quiz attracted 80 people (all now members) and �ierce intellectual competition.

Over Disney? Sounds like another of their tall tales…

It’s true. Questions and debate include speci�ic details of each �ilm, voices in various movies and even the history of Disney.

But don’t be put off- anyone is welcome‘I’m not the biggest fan by any means; I just enjoy the �ilms’ one of the committee tells me. ‘It’s usually one fanatic who turns up with a bunch of their friends in tow.’

So no fantasies? Not even one lost soul who still believes in fairies?

Don’t get us wrong, Dalmatian- appreciation (apparently it’s easiest to dress up as one) and the like abounds here- it’s mainly girls to be honest, however they wouldn’t mind some more eye candy present (guys take note)- but any Disney fascinations hardly extend to day-to-day life. Although- ‘I did �inish an email with a Pocahontas quote the other day’ one interviewee admits; “Remember, the easiest path may not be the right path.”’

Philosophical stuff. And I suppose Snow White has a say in this too…?

Actually Snow White is unpopular in the society- it’s all about the Lion King and Beauty and the Beast. ‘We mainly cover more of the recent �ilms, though, and some of the non-animated productions (Pirates of the Caribbean is, apparently, a real winner), as well as Disney Pixar’ ‘But not the Disney channel- and certainly not just any animated �ilms.’

Nonie Heal

Saving money and energy Utilities

For me, the one kind of student expense most dif�icult to budget for is the utility bills. At times that monthly or quarterly bill may seem to have been chosen completely at random. There are a couple of things to keep in mind when �irst viewing and paying your bills, the �irst is to ask yourself if a �igure is realistic. Neighbours of mine last year were hit with a £300 electricity bill a couple of months into their contract, only after they enquired further did they �ind out a lot of this had been passed on to them by the previous tenants. Secondly, most utility companies offer a small percentage discount for fast payment, so it’s always better to pay as soon as possible.

Electricity

Many students, myself included, have an agenda to keep power consumption low for environmental as well as �inancial reasons. Still if you want to go that bit further you could probably take a look around your house now and consider every single thing that’s absorbing power and costing you money. Small things like leaving a television on standby, keeping a microwave switched on all day or having

ing a second as normal.

your skybox running over night, can all be easily remedied and thus make small savings. The costs of these are miniscule in comparison to the power devouring behemoths that are fridges, freezers, showers and tumble dryers. These consume equal to all of the previously mentioned items per day, multiplied by thirty! This column would lose any credibility were I to recommend showering less, but this should be an eye opener for those people who turn the shower on and then leave it to “warm up” for ten minutes!

Similarly, keeping a fridge door open for longer than necessary forces extra energy consumption as the fridge works much harder to keep things cool.

Laptop Batteries

Leaving chargers on doesn’t cost much relative to other items, but leaving a laptop plugged in for long periods of time is one way to guarantee a signi�icant reduction in your computer’s battery life.

However if you don’t like to unplug from the mains, then at least removing the laptops battery cell itself once charged (it will continue to run as normal if plugged in), will ensure your battery lasts far longer.

Steal of the Week

Heating

Widely acknowledged to be the biggest bill of all, many houses will at some point face a disagreement over when and for how long the central heating is on. If you have a timer, then make full use of it, as trusting yourselves to remember when exactly it needs to be switched off rarely works out well. I recommend prioritising having your desk near a radiator and insulating your bed by placing one duvet between the sheet and mattress and us-

The optimum time to buy train tickets is 6-8 weeks in advance, which isn’t always practical. However if you plan to go home for Christmas then now is the prime time to get on thetrainline. com and buy your tickets home. I recently bought a single to Kings Cross for just £8.90!

Illustration: Jennifer Dodsworth

Firey firework frolicks

Hope Gray finds some barmy bonfire night alternatives

November: the month of depressing grey skies and weather that has seamlessly shifted to blustering winds and layers of knitwear temperatures. With the Lady Gaga and Amy Winehouse costumes safely stuffed at the back of the wardrobe from Halloween you now need to start preparing for Guy Fawkes Night, the more laid back of the season’s events.

An excuse of a celebration that commemorates the failed attempt of Guy Fawkes to carry out the Gunpowder Treason Plot in 1605. The old English tradition continues today to light up skies over the country representing an explosion that potentially would have burnt down the House of Lords.

For many of us the historical signi�icance is replaced with childhood memories of sparklers, fairground rides, hot dogs, crackling bon�ires, walking up the lane with your torch and the ever-necessary hat, scarf and gloves.

If you have never experienced an evening of �ireworks , it de�initely is a musthead down to a community display to witness the exploding lights over the city.

But if an evening of a cranked neck from oohing and ahhing at the night sky does not appeal to you anymore, there are other alternatives for celebrating the 5th November (the cheap way).

1) City Stadium �ireworks, Sandyford.

No, this isn’t a typo. The City Stadium �ireworks off Warwick Street are totally free of charge and nearby in Sandyford.

This local display will have food for sale at the Ouseburn community centre close by.

Since the display begins at 6:30pm ensure

you arrive within plenty of time to avoid the queues.

2) Bon�ire Night, Saltwell Park, Gateshead.

Crossing over to the Southern bank of the River Tyne, Gateshead’s Saltwell Park will host their annual free bon�ire night. Start waiting in line before the 7:30pm start as this is a popular family event, so don’t forget those earmuffs for waiting in line. The park is approximately a twenty-minute walk from the Gateshead metro station so a considerable trek but it draws the crowds in for their impressive display and friendly atmosphere.

3) Going Dark, Northern Stage.

Not the traditional way to spend Bon�ire Night but this one-man show will have you looking up to the skies as the narrator from the city’s planetarium puzzles over cosmic questions and the wonders of the night sky. The narration then takes a twist as he realises ‘seeing’ in life requires a different kind of vision. For all those fans of ‘Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind’ and music by Massive Attack and The XX, choose to be transported to a set that will have you immersed into a world of innovative lighting and surround sound to question society’s connection with the universe. Tickets £9 for an 8pm start.

4) Night in with a burning chilli- your house For those who haven’t yet recovered from Friday night and can’t possibly leave the house until Sunday, light your internal fur-

nace with a good chilli. Light up your place with candles and text all your friends to come round for a casual night in. Choose to make an authentic chilli con carne with chickpeas and serve with �luffy rice in those massive casserole dishes for everyone to tuck in. Bake some jacket potatoes in the oven and bake some crusty bread so you will hopefully end up with leftovers to freeze, satisfying your hunger for the rest of the week.

5) Night out at your local.

With no excuse needed, head down to your local bar or pub, which are all starting to serve warming winter drinks.

Warm up with a mulled wine or hot toddy and enjoy a crackling �ire or the free heating. Head home after and pour yourself an Irish cream with hot chocolate and freshly whipped cream. Perfect evening, which will leave you warm inside.

THE COURIER Monday October 31 2011

33

lifestyle

What’s Hot What’s Not

MattAspinStudentSupper StudentSupper Chicken goujons with pumpkin wedges Sometimes after a long day, whether you’ve been in lectures or on the sports �ield, you just don’t feel up to eating an enormous meal that will probably tire you out even more; this small bite is such a great alternative. Or how about if you’ve got a few spare hours between lectures and you’re feeling a bit peckish? This recipe is great then too, creating a respite for those midday hunger pangs we are all so familiar with.

What’s excellent about these chicken goujons is that they can be used as the basis for such a wide array of seasonings. In this case, I’ve added chilli �lakes which deliver a more than noticeable kick, but if spicy food isn’t your thing then the chilli �lakes can be replaced with lemon juice to create a milder, albeit equally as mouth-watering �lavour. Pumpkin is not usually something you associate with student food, but this nutritious vegetable offers something a bit different from your average potato (handy tip: at this time of year, pumpkins can be picked up from Grainger Market in the centre of Newcastle for next to nothing – worth a visit!) Their value for money together with their mild �lavour makes

pumpkin a superb substitute for potatoes, and these wedges prove their worth in a single bite.

I cannot stress how easy this recipe is, as well as unbelievably cheap and completely delicious. The goujons and wedges each take roughly 20 minutes to cook, and less than 10 minutes to prepare, so there is no excuse why you can’t enjoy this �inger food at any time of the day. And from experience, the goujons prove to be an incredible post-night out snack! So get in the kitchen and once your �latmates smell what’s coming from the oven, they’ll be out of their room in an instant!

For chicken goujons: Ingredients (Serves 4)

- 450-500g chicken breast (preferably skinless) - 1 egg - 1 tbsp olive oil - 2 tbsp milk - 1 tbsp chilli �lakes - 150g breadcrumbs

1. Preheat the oven to 240°C (gas mark 9) and grease two baking trays. Cut the chicken into long strips.

2. In a bowl, mix the olive oil, milk, and egg and season with salt and pepper. Add chicken strips and mix.

3. Spread breadcrumbs and chilli �lakes onto a large plate. Roll chicken strips in the breadcrumbs until covered, and place onto a greased tray.

4. Bake for 15-20 minutes until the goujons are golden.

For pumpkin wedges: - ½ medium pumpkin/1 small pumpkin - 5 tbsp olive oil - 2 tbsp honey/golden syrup

1. Preheat oven to 240°C. 2. Using a sharp knife, cut the pumpkin into wedges no more than 2cm thick. Bear in mind that the thicker the wedges, the longer cooking will take!

3. Arrange the wedges into a greased baking tray, and add the olive oil along with the honey/golden syrup.

4. Place into the oven just before the goujons, and bake for 20-25 minutes, or until the pumpkin skin is crispy.

Big Mussel

Winter accessories

It’s that time of the year again! So dig out your scarves, hats and mittens to wrap up warm whilst looking good.

Wintery foods

As the evenings draw in and the temperature drops there is nothing better than home cooked winter food. Bring on the toad in the hole!

The Only Way is Essex

We all know we shouldn’t but that doesn’t stop us loving it.

Bon�ire Night

Rockets, big burgers and lots of �ire, although supposedly about Guy Fawkes this celebration is really just an excuse to turn into a big kid and write your name in the air with a sparkler!

Wearing �lip �lops to ‘pop’ into Tesco

It is now dark at 6pm, this is a sign you need to put the �lip �lops away and invest in some slippers.

Rachel Lund muscles her way down to the Quayside for some fishy treats

Fish pedicures

Located on the Quayside, Big Mussel is a very student friendly and delightful restaurant to visit either with fellow students or with your parents. With a warm and friendly atmosphere, live music �ive nights a week and fabulous food, the Big Mussel is a truly charming restaurant. From seabass to lobster, there really is a variety of seafood for everyone to try. Contrary to popular belief that the Big Mussel specialises in mussels (although mussels are of course available), the restaurant prides itself on catering for all tastes. Duck, steak, lamb and chicken dishes accompany a variety of pasta and vegetarian dishes to transform the menu to one with something for everyone.

A busy Thursday night at the restaurant saw businessmen, couples, students and families enjoying the ambience at Big Mussel, as well as taking pleasure in the delicious food. Having tried a selection of dishes from the set menu I can personally recommend this restaurant as somewhere to try, regardless of whether you are a lover of �ish or not. A personal favourite was the smoked salmon with asparagus starter, which, accompanied by a poached egg and mustard dressing, proved to be an absolute taste sensation. In terms of dessert,

This spa craze is being investigated by the Health Protection Agency after fears were raised about the possibility of the �ish spreading diseases. I think it’s best to avoid being nibbled by �ish for the near future!

How to catch some clams: Location: 15 The Side, Newcastle Quayside, Newcastle Upon Tyne Phone: 0191 232 1057 Website: www.bigmussel. co.uk Email: contact@bigmussel.co.uk

Umbrellas

the double chocolate mousse was a big hit with both my chocolate loving self and not so chocolate loving partner! Alternating layers of milk and dark chocolate mousse topped with whipped cream made the dessert a stunning way to end the meal.

Big Mussel is a little expensive for students, however the set menu of two courses for £9.95 available all day every day is sure to appeal to most, and with 10% off all full priced meals and drinks, a trip to the Big Mussel is a sure �ire way to eat out in style. If, in keeping with the restaurant’s name, members of your party take a fancy to trying mussels, there are both half and one kilogram portions available, aptly named ‘Mussel Mania’. The mussels come served with chunky chips and a wide variety of sauces and if you dine before 7pm the half kilo option is only £5.50 and the

kilogram bucket is only £8.95.

If your guy friends/boyfriends are anything like mine, choosing somewhere to eat often proves dif�icult, the principal concern from the male point of view being the size of the portions not being big enough! Big Mussel however was a restaurant that surprisingly, suited my own portion size desire, as well as that of my ‘hollow legged’ boyfriend. I was left with the possibility of being very full, yet not over faced by a huge amount of food.

The Big Mussel is a pleasant and charismatic restaurant with fantastically amiable and friendly staff and beautiful food, and a restaurant which I highly recommend. If you only eat out once this year, make your restaurant of choice the Big Mussel and I guarantee you will not be disappointed!

Newcastle is the windiest city in the North East so convert to a hooded coat and save yourself the stress of being blown away Mary Poppins style.

Walking to university in the dark

If the sun is not up students most de�initely shouldn’t be – it’s just wrong!

Ella Brady

34

THE COURIER Monday October 31 2011

fashion

Where is the best place to buy..?

Boots

Winner: Primark Price range: £8-£25

You might automatically shy away from Primark for fear that the shoes will wear out quickly, but they’re good quality and some are real leather. At these prices, you can’t go wrong!

Photography by Lauren Cordell

Styling Tips From the Fashion Editorial Team to keep you chic this autumn/winter

1. For longer legs in

season-appropriate footwear opt for ankle boots; for going out, wear heels in nude shades

2. Coats with chunky waist belts will cinch in your waist, making it appear slimmer 3. Invest in a peplum dress for seasonal festivities; it will �latter your Christmas dinner ‘food baby’ and adds a bit of winter shimmer

4. Thick jumpers are more

�lattering with �itted bottoms or skirts and tights

5. Choose thermal socks in a colour suited to your wardrobe so you can reveal the top of them above boots for a cute, layered look 6. To manipulate your proportions, wear a long chunky-knit scarf to lengthen your legs. A snood will create the appearance of a longer torso 7. A neutrally coloured faux-fur hat is versatile and will keep your ears snug.

Coat

Scarf

Winner: New Look Price range: £20-£65

New Look is the Mecca of coats - there’s a length, colour and shape for everyone! They are longlasting and the designs are ones that will stay in fashion for as long as the coat lasts.

Winner: H&M Price range: £5-£15

The quality really is amazing, plus the colour spectrum means that there’s something for every taste. Whether you want a chunky-knit or a bit of sparkle, it’s your onestop shop.

Leggings

Jumper

Winner: Dorothy Perkins Price range: £10-£20

Winner: Topshop Price range: £40-£85

While that may seem a bit pricey when you can get leggings for £3 in Primark, they literally last for years and are thick enough for the freezing Newcastle winters as a replacement for tights.

Topshop may be on the more expensive side but gets points for style; a jumper made of quality wool is essential and something that you’ll take care not to shrink in the wash!

campusfashion campus fashion Antonia Hollis Fine Art

Coat: Zara Cardigan: Deep (a vintage shop in Newcastle) T-shirt: Urban Out�itters Jeans: Zara Boots: Shoe Zone Fashion Editor says: “This look is perfect autumn chic; from the stylish and warm fur lining to the gold-tone jewellery- it’s right ontrend.”

Tom Rhodes English Language

Jumper: Charity shop Shirt: eBay Jeans: Topman Shoes: Schuh

Fashion Editor says: “Jumpers are essential for winter and this patterned one is ideal for layering with autumn colours.”

Alice O’Brien & Ellyn Bramley Photography by Maggie McBride

Rosanna Sopp

THE COURIER Monday October 31 2011

fashion

Does your dress turn heads?

Casually attired

Annie Morgan and Sophie McGown asked boys on camFashion pus to choose between forward three looks in order to find out whether show-stopping fashion ensembles can stop traffic or is it true that girls dress only to impress other girls?

Favourite: Dressed to impress Least Favourite: Casually attired

Why: “The one with the blue jeans looks pretty casual and not too ‘try hard’.

The Ugg one looks like she should be a mum at home roasting potatoes, not the best look to be honest!”

Pet hates: “Mother out�its, Uggs and girls who look like they should be in a shop window.”

your guide to being chic in all situations

With news that snow is on its way to Newcastle, it’s time to start looking at buying the ultimate winter wardrobe essential: the coat.

Coats Cost A decent coat is de�initely worth investing in as it plays such an important role in protecting against the Newcastle weather! It’s tempting to splash out with your student loan but make sure to keep budgeting in mind. A price range of £40-£60 should guarantee quality without over-spending.

Keep campus colourful What colour to get depends entirely on what you wear a lot of. I am not going to advocate that we all buy a plain black coat with no colourful detailing because that would make campus look like a funeral gathering, but it is worth giving it a bit of thought before you buy the �luorescent yellow one.

If the waist �its Make sure it �latters your body shape! If it has a �itted waist, fantastic. If it is shapeless it may appear bulky and make you feel like you shouldn’t have had those extra few slices of pizza last night! Coats should make you feel fabulous too.

Dressed to impress

Four male students reveal the most attractive ‘look’, the least attractive, and their female fashion pet hates Oliver Ferguson Politics and Geography

fashionista etiquette

Try it for size Don’t buy a coat without trying it on with a thick jumper or a hoodie underneath. If it doesn’t �it with your favourite jumper on you probably won’t wear it enough to make the purchase worthwhile.

Modelled by Flora Turnbull Photography by Sophie McGown

The Verdict

35

Ben Myrnard Politics and Sociology

Favourite: Casually attired Least Favourite: Fashion forward

Why: “The high fashion looked like a standard Essex girl and the comfy casual one like effortlesssly sexy.”

Pet hates: “Granny pants, gap year tragedies, and girls who look like they tried too hard with loads of make-up.”

Harry Rose Politics and Sociology

Favourite: Dressed to impress Least Favourite: Fashion forward

Why: “I hate Uggs, so that one wouldn’t be my favourite, but the one with the fur coat is kind of scary, and who exactly wears heels in the day? Too ‘try hard’. The blue one is the most normal to be honest, so I like it best. It’s nice but not too scary ‘try hard’.”

Pet hates: “I hate Uggs and orange girls, they’re just not particularly attractive.”

Tom Nicholson English Lit

Favourite: Fashion Forward Least Favourite: Casually attired Why: “The fur coat (fake, I hope) looks classy with the blouse underneath and its co-ordination with the sheepskin-lined boots is rather neat. There isn’t anything spectacularly wrong with the last look; it’s just dull. She might have been snapped on her way to Londis for a pint of milk.”

Pet hates: “Woolly hats that look like the head of a panda/koala/other adorable �luffy creature. Fine on the under-sevens, less forgivable on sentient adults.

Also, wearing band t-shirts as a fashion statement rather than because you actually like the band. Don’t give a boy false hope that you’re a massive Black Flag fan and then go and break his heart..”

Limited spaces Do make sure that it’s not so tight that you can’t move your arms in it. Nothing can be worse than inadvertently getting a hole under one arm where the warm air escapes and the cold gets in.

Plus, it’s not quite the classy and chic look we’re after!

Weather woes I don’t need to remind you about how much rain and snow we get here but just in case you forgot how wet your feet were last year I will remind you again, check that it is thick enough or at least slightly waterproof.

Hoods up For reasons mentioned in previously, does it have a hood? You may not need it all the time but if you’re caught offguard without your umbrella your coat avec hood will become your new ami!

Wear in before wearing out Could it also double up as a night out coat? It gets chilly in the queue for Legends and you may want to take your coat out, so bear this in mind: does it look silly with leggings and heels?

Be creative!

If you are running short on cash but are desperate to keep yourself warm then buy a small sewing kit and a few buttons from a haberdashery and change the buttons on your old coat to something a little more chic. Last year, for example, I had a black coat and changed all the buttons to white to fashion a Chanel imitation.

Kate Beckwith

36

tvfeatures Young Apprentice

From blackboard to boardroom...

Harry Hitchens aims high and scuba dives low.

Is there any measure this boy won’t go to to reach the sun?

James McCullagh is willing to throw his integrity out of the window in order to win, let’s hope his Irish luck doesn’t go with it.

Former baby model Zara Brownless backs her chances, but is she more than just a pretty face?

Fashion ‘diva’ Gbemi Okunlola will tear her competitors to shreds to reach her full potential.

thecourieronline.co.uk/tvandradio c2.tvandradio@ncl.ac.uk Last week, 12 aspiring sixth-form students left the classroom to face a real life lesson, courtesy of Lord Sugar.

These hormone fuelled adolescents fought it out over ice cream �lavours and squabbled over basic arithmetic.

As a result we are about as convinced of their self-assured talent and ruthless ambition as we are of Johnny Robinson’s chance of winning X-Factor.

Nevertheless, it is far more entertaining than its senior counterpart and has a guaranteed feel-good factor as the youngsters get put �irmly back in their place by a merciless Lord Sugar.

Catch this week’s episode at 9pm on BBC One as the contestants tackle an alien world - the parent and baby market.

Sophy Fairhead TV Editor Say hiya to Haya Al Dlame, she sells on eBay.. but can she sell herself?!

Lizzie Magee may be a Rounders champion, but will she get to fourth base with Alan Sugar?

How does perfect prefect Harry Maxwell intend to use his singing, piano playing and watersports to win this ruthless competition?

Budding horticulturalist Ben Fowler wants to plant the seeds of social conscience through innovative business.

‘I’m not arrogant or backstabbing, I’m just a really great guy.’ Not arrogant at all then, Lewis Roman.

Female footballer Hannah Richards is going to climb the league tables on more than one playing �ield.

Young Farmer Hayley Forreseter won’t be putting her free range, organic eggs into one basket.

Review: Gossip Girl

Nicole Stevenson, one half of the new TV editorial team, discusses the latest series of Gossip Girl The elites of the Upper East Side are back!

On Wednesday October 19th, season �ive of Gossip Girl hits our screens with a slightly changed look of its privileged characters. Designer wear, crystal clear wit, luxurious settings and intriguing relationships are all waiting to be exploited once again.

Hopefully, the summer was long enough for us to come to terms with the lost romance of our favourite onscreen teenage sweethearts, Chuck Bass and Blair Waldorf. That was cute, but heavy.

On the subject of Chuck Bass, his trademark suit and bowtie look is ditched for a rough-around-the-edges brown leather jacket. Hot. Not to mention he’s moved up a notch on the aristocratic scale – he is no longer at the back of black tinted window cars but on his ‘look-at-me’ yacht. Unfortunately you can’t have it all: he lost the girl he wanted to impress the most to a prince.

Blair Waldorf almost lets her fairytale wish slip away as she faces dealing with the obstacles which arise in every fairytale - Prince Louis’s controlling, overbearing step-mother, Sophie (p.s. the lace detail on Blair’s wedding dress perhaps inspired by the recent royal wedding one?).

THE COURIER Monday October 31 2011

Her best friend, Serena van der Woodsen, is transformed from ‘It girl to working girl’ this summer, running around, although in Jimmy Choos of course, for once in her life taking orders.

Before we could anticipate whether she would crumble under the pressure of accepting more responsibilities, she gave up her job when she heard her rival’s desperate sob story about student loans, rent, and a car lease - sound familiar?

Her ‘dedication’ (after she’d given up), however, got her the job.

Everything makes sense in Manhattan – who are we to question its fashionistas’ reasoning anyway.

In the coming episodes, we will see Manhattan’s Upper East Siders’ mysterious fates unravel. Is underdog Dan Humphrey in love with Queen B? What threatens to spoil Chuck’s carefree round-the-world trip? What consequences should Nate Archibold expect after his naughty one night stand with an older woman? Keep watching every Wednesday at 8pm on ITV2.

Goodbye Mahamed Awale...the �irst to go after failing to impress with his watermelon icecream.

Catch-up TV

The Lives of Child Beggars, BBC1 Available on BBC iPlayer until October 2012 ‘Alice’ is just four years old. She scavenges for food in McDonalds and uses the phone box as a toilet.

If she is offered money, she is trained to push people for more money. Sometimes, she will be forced to beg until as late as 2am. She is just one example to shock us with the truth about child beggars.

This ‘modern-day slavery’ has been the oldest trick in the book, around for a long time, still happening on the British streets.

In a one-off documentary, reporter John Sweeney observed a group of 13 Romanian gypsy women in London, presenting themselves in traditional Muslim dress as part of a plan to gain more public attention. They hide, while the children beg.

These children are denied their childhood, education and the basic need of suf�icient food.

Pressured to play the role of an innocent victim of a �inancially strained life, their daily routine pays the price of around £200 – but their misery is real.

It does not, however, explain the shocking fact that the begging gangs have beet traced back to luxury homes in Romania.

The penalty for this illegal and lucrative method of using children as ‘begging tools’ to earn an income is 14 years in jail for child exploitation and forced child labour traf�icking.

The disgusting fact of the story is that the children are forced to do this by their own family or carers, who are traced back to properties which possess no connotations of ‘poor’ or ‘desperate for money’.

It is still unclear why families who can maintain a mansion feel it is acceptable or necessary to use their children as a means of an income.

Hottie of the Week Gary Barlow While we might have had a secret crush on Simon Cowell, Gary Barlow positively makes us swoon.

When the Take That star reappeared on our screens, we couldn’t help but wince disbelievingly that this screaming hotty was the formerlychubby member of the 90s boyband.

What joy that he should now frequent our sitting rooms to provide the voice of reason and authority to our religious Saturday night rituals!

In fact, I’m pretty sure that British Gas could resupply all the electricity lost from the switching on of kettles in the �irst ad break by outsourcing it to the burning cheeks of girls everywhere.

And I’m not just talking teenage girls, he’s got something for everyone - he’s mature, powerful and we know he’s going to make it to the end of the show. Phew.

OK, there’s not much competition this week – the entire Downton Abbey cast is in casts, Blair’s French �iancé is a bit of a drip and the rest of the X Factor panel are either female or Louis Walsh.

But this doesn’t mean Hotty of the Week is undeserved. Gary Barlow is no passing infatuation and he’d get through to my �inal round any day.

Sophy Fairhead TV Editor

Nicole Stevenson TV Editor

THE COURIER Monday October 31 2011

thecourieronline.co.uk/careers c2.editor@ncl.ac.uk

featurecareers

Calling all budding �ilm-makers and script-writers! This week, Lauren Girling brings us the story of Phil Traill, a Combined Honours Graduate, direct from the States.

I know what everyone’s thinking: ‘but how did a Newcastle graduate break through in LA?’ Well, that can be answered by Phil Traill, director of �ilms such as All About Steve with Bradley Cooper and Sandra Bullock – “turns out it’s really hard work!”

Recently, the Alumni Association magazine, Arches, interviewed Phil Traill. I managed to catch up with him, on the brink of the DVD release of his 2011 �ilm, Chalet Girl, to discover exactly how much hard work it took to make the transition from the Toon to Tinseltown.

Starting out his Newcastle life in Castle Leazes, Phil quickly established the Film Society as the �ilm

Photo: DM Burrows

Graduate Profile

industry always looked ‘really interesting and great fun’ to him.

As a member of the Film Society, he managed to secure a grant for a Hi-8 camera (for all of us born this side of the 90’s, this was a handheld camcorder where the recordings could be put onto a VHS) which the Film Society would then use to �ilm the NUTS productions, as well as some of his own projects with ‘zero budget!’

This stood Phil in good stead as it was through these early tapes of NUTS productions that he met Tom Williams (Combined Honours 1996) who wrote the script for Chalet Girl.

Not only was it Phil’s directorial prowess and Newcastle University

contacts that drew him to the project, it was also his love of outdoor pursuits.

“Tom phoned me and said, ‘do you want to make a �ilm about girls and snowboarding?’”, Phil explained, “then I read the script - which was brilliant.”

However, due to insurance, Phil wasn’t allowed to spend much time on the slopes of St Anton, Austria in the ‘few crazy months’ he was there.

Chalet Girl has an all-star cast including Ed Westwick, Tamsin Egerton, Bill Nighy and newcomer Felicity Jones, playing the title role of Kim.

It wasn’t Phil’s �irst brush with A-listers though; he was chosen by Sandra Bullock to direct her 2010 movie All About Steve after she liked his short �ilms. The ever-humble Phil remarked, “I had the most surreal few months making it.”

Surely having celebrity fans makes you rocket to superstardom, right?

When asked if he had ever felt like he had ‘made it,’ he replied “I’ve certainly never felt I’d ‘made it’,” but then added, “though I’m really grateful that I now feel pretty con�ident that, for the next few years at least, I can earn a living from it.”

This seems like Phil’s philosophy in life; if you are really passionate about what you want to do, that’s all that matters and the acclaim will come in time.

He’s a fantastic example of sticking to what you enjoy the most and having big dreams because if you have the drive, you can achieve them.

Phil now lives in Santa Monica with his family and is currently directing TV programs such as Raising Hope and TNT’s Men of a Certain Age. Does he have any advice for Newcastle students wanting to follow in his footsteps?

“I just advise people to try their best to make and �inish things. Lots of people talk a good game - but it’s a whole other deal if you can actually show a �inished screenplay, or �inished short �ilm.”

Chalet Girl is available on DVD now from all good stockists. More information on Phil’s career is available on IMDB or on www.philtraill.com.

Career Crackers Finding a job

Check out the Vacancies Online section on www. ncl.ac.uk/careers for part-time and graduate jobs as well as Newcastle Work Experience and internships.

Sign up to job alerts from the local newspaper in the location you would like to work.

Sign up to job websites such as www.milkround. com and www.studentgems.com for graduate schemes and specialist jobs.

Send a speculative covering letter and CV to any companies you fancy working for many keep these for months so they can contact interested people when a vacany arises.

37

Tribulations of a soonto-begraduate Lucy Alexander Birthdays at university are awesome.

You get to go out with all your best friends in a massive group, with the excuse to dress like anything from a sexy mouse to a well-known political prisoner (whatever �loats your boat).

You get to start drinking at lunchtime, and continue to get more inebriated than any other night of the week: ‘well it is Sarah’s birthday...’

Birthday presents at university, however: not so awesome. The curse of the ‘joint house present’ is something which has plagued me since �irst year, and which I will certainly not miss as a graduate.

For some unknown reason, when a present is spread between a group of people, we become much more daring about what we want to buy. Hence why last Friday, on my Dissertation Day (often utilised for other purposes, but hey, it’s the thought that counts), I found myself racing across the Metro Centre carpark due to a literal matter of life-and-death.

It was my �latmate’s 21st birthday, and he does Marine Biology. So naturally, we had to get him a live gold�ish.

To be perfectly honest, I was surprised he had got to third year without one. I and another �latmate had volunteered to get said gold�ish, and after a quick Google search of: ‘gold�ish/Newcastle/live/home delivery’, we realised we would have to trek all the way to Pets at Home if we wanted to do it right.

Now, I like to think that I exude an air of responsibility, maturity and maternal care and my accompanying �latmate certainly didn’t look like a serial pet-killer. So imagine our surprise when after hours choosing the newest member of our family, we were told by a somewhat snooty (I said it) assistant that she would not be letting us buy one that day!

Her ‘reason’ for not letting us keep our �ish in a bowl was because they’re apparently too small for gold�ish (a gold�ish bowl too small for a gold�ish?). This �limsy excuse might have been accepted, had we not done our research prior to this adventure. Our second prong of attack, therefore, had to be sneaky.

We constructed an elaborate lie which involved the loud staging of a phone call between my �latmate and her mother, during which her mother assured her of the use of her HUGE gold�ish TANK which is SPECIFICALLY DESIGNED for the housing of gold�ish. We left no stone unturned, not even blinking when the assistant demanded to know the types of �ish we already had.

Rest assured readers, we did not put the safety of little Maddy (as she is affectionately known) at risk. Not counting the mad dash home on the bus trying not to bash her into things.

Apart from that, she’s thriving in her new home, and she actually told me yesterday that she thinks her gold�ish bowl is the perfect size.

The stress of achieving the impossible for our friend’s birthday has de�initely put a downer on my enthusiasm for joint presents, especially as when Maddy was presented to aforementioned �latmate, the �irst thing he said was ‘Oh great! Did you get her from that pet shop down the road?’

38

Puzzles

Sudoku

THE COURIER Monday October 31 2011

You can find the answer s to this week’s pu thecou zzles at rieronli ne. co.uk/p uzzles

thecourieronline.co.uk/puzzles c2.puzzles@ncl.ac.uk

Crossword Capital Cities

Across 1. Vietnam (5) 5. The Philippines (6) 7. Italy (4) 9. Bulgaria (5) 10. Turkey (6) 12. Nepal (9) 14. Colombia (6) 15. Jordan (5) 16. Togo (4) 17. Venezuela (7) 19. Fiji (4) 20. Pakistan (9) 22. Ecuador (5) 23. Maldives (4)

Down 1. Zimbabwe (6) 2. Portugal (6) 3. Iraq (7) 4. Iceland (9) 6. Samoa (4) 8. Oman (6) 10. Ethiopia (5,5) 11. Indonesia (7) 12. Afghanistan (5) 13. Uganda (7) 17. Egypt (5) 18. Liechtenstein (5) 19. South Korea (5) 21. Peru (4)

f the ne o como e B o ord five t first e crossw n’s th Me plete nd into ree f ha and to win a r Ba meal!

Dingbats

Maths puzzle A fork in the road: Start at the centre number and collect another four numbers by following the paths shown (and not going backwards). Add the five numbers together. What is the lowest number you can score?

Wolf Wolf Wolf Wolf

Wolf

BeansBeansBeans BeansBeansBeans BeansBeansBeans BeansBeansBeans BeansBeansBeans

Duckett and Haye

UND

Work out the word or phrase that is depicted in the image.

RO

Sport

40

THE COURIER Monday October 31 2011

thecourieronline.co.uk/sport

Sport Editors Colin Henrys, Harry Slavin and Rory Brigstock-Baron Online Sport Editor: Grace Harvey courier.sport@ncl.ac.uk

Drugs in sport: Let me entertain you Simon Scho�ield argues that PEDs should be legalised in order to create greater competition It could be said that Lionel Messi is a cheater. Since playing for Barcelona he always has been and always will be, simple.

Of course he isn’t, the humble man hailed from Rosario was born with a growth hormone de�iciency; as a child it was projected that he wouldn’t reach 5ft. Without the human growth hormone treatment he received at FC Barcelona, Messi wouldn’t stand anywhere near his current 5’ 7” frame.

This for me is the crux of the matter, Messi receiving these drugs has enabled him to shrug off what nature gave him and gratefully clutch at the hand of nurture and science.

PED (performance enhancing drugs) are ergogenic aids that as the name suggests enable heightened levels of sporting achievement. Without them world’s greatest player may never have been and with that we would miss out on a blistering talent who provides limitless entertainment.

The Argentine is one of my favourite sportspeople full stop, but even I have serious doubts if a maestro as small as 4’ 10” would be able to become a professional footballer, let alone carry the FC Barcelona team on his back.

His performance has been enhanced, it’s just that FIFA doesn’t recognise HGHs as PEDs. If Messi couldn’t be the talent he is today it would be a crying shame.

What sport boils down to is entertainment, to see the best rip apart the �ield, the rest acting as a benchmark, a platform to show their superiority or to see the closest of competitions, winning by millimetres, tenths of seconds or single points. PEDs can provide this.

The single greatest bene�it of PED is for us; the fans. If athletes are performing more and more superhuman feats then our viewing pleasure will only increase. Imagine slamdunks from before the free throw line; 200mph serves; half-way line drop goals. I’m not saying sportspeople will become that super-human

but it’s a possibility coupled with the rate of progression of the last century.

Athletes today take so many supplements, vitamins, powders, bars and the other million training aids out there that PEDs would be just that, a training aid. If we had the list of things Usain Bolt took before and after training I’m sure it would make us all think twice about what makes up his ‘talent’.

Of course, drugs are not a magic pill, you still have to train with them, they can’t work on their own.

For some athletes their body reacts better to certain supplements than others. For one athlete protein powder may help him increase his muscle mass quicker than for another athlete even if they both have the same training regime. His genetics dictate this, PEDs would similarly do the same thing, and athletes will be able to �igure out what gives them the edge in training and be able to compete with those of a richer cocktail of genetics.

The endurance of cyclist Lance Armstrong is partly down to the fact his muscles produce 50% less lactic acid as other people, thus allowing his muscles to contract without fatiguing for longer. Are his genetics not giving him an unfair advantage?

This levelling of the playing �ield would have enormous rami�ications.

For example in tennis the top four males aren’t winning because they hit the ball harder than anyone else, it’s in spite of this. They recognise that the only way to beat each other is with more cunning and guile. Take Roger Federer’s drop shots, these require skill that cannot be overcome by any PED. With a level playing �ield more players will have to become skilful as appose to just hammering the ball over the net. In the women’s game we are seeing the adverse effects of this power play. Serena Williams just waits for the unforced errors from her powerful ground strokes, that’s just not tennis.

PEDs would offer a helping hand to

give women’s tennis the same level of entertainment as the men’s; at the moment there simply is no quick-�ix to replace skill. It may sound like arti�icial competition but it simply allows greater variety and playing styles in sport.

Athletes who are naturally powerful will continue to be powerful; it’s just that they won’t steamroller their way through tournaments. On a side note I feel that equipment in tennis should facilitate skilful play by reducing racket head sizes and reducing the sweet spot, it makes average players look good.

One of the biggest problems of PED is detection. The laboratories that

Dear International Rugby Board,

sponded by throwing some grass in the air.

Commentators called it ‘the master and the young apprentice offering an ancient form of respect’; the All Blacks deemed it damn right inappropriate and O’Driscoll’s tour ended just a minute later when he was driven into the ground and lost the use of his collar bone.

This time the French found a way to challenge New Zealand, right, in their own back yard. Nobody got hurt and All Blacks captain Richie McCaw even praised it, stating: “If anything, it showed us what we were in for and that’s exactly what we got. They were right up for the game as we expected and they certainly made it tough.”

OK, so it did not help them to win, but then that was never going to happen anyway - they shouldn’t have even been in the �inal. If England

had spent more time on the training ground than ‘being lads’ in nightclubs, then France would have been defeated in the quarter-�inals. Even then, had you not appointed a referee for the semi-�inal who counts ‘Alain’ and ‘Pierre’ amongst his forenames, they would have lost there to Wales.

spew out these training aids are constantly evolving and moving on. Once they know that it’s detectable in a drugs test the drug will be changed, and it’ll be some time before the authorities will �ind out.

Seamlessly an athlete will enjoy the bene�its over his competitors in that window of time. The authorities are always going to be playing catch-up with the labs because they simply don’t know what they’re looking for until an athlete is seen using it. To avoid this discrepancy it would be simpler to allow the PEDs with the authorities using the money saved on other initiatives in sport and avoid anyone getting an advantage.

There have also been several high pro�ile cases of athletes forgetting appointments and facing hefty penalties to unwittingly taking cold medication and diet pills subtly containing illegal substances.

After Ben Johnson’s World record breaking 100m in Seoul 1988, one journalist wrote that: “[This] is the most electrifying 10 seconds of my sport viewing life”.

Three days later Johnson was found to be using anabolic steroids, a banned substance and so was stripped of his title. The same journalist went on record after the scandal as saying, “It was still pure sporting theatre”. I couldn’t agree more.

Ben Johnson wins the 100m in 1988, a title he was stripped of just days later.

Photo: Getty Images

An open letter to the International Rugby Board I am writing in response to your decision to �ine the French rugby team for encroaching into the New Zealand half as they performed the Haka prior to the World Cup Final.

I �ind your decision completely unfair and urge you to reconsider this punishment at once.

Why should they be �ined for �inding a way of challenging the All Blacks?

These white-�lag waving surrender monkeys should be praised for �inally showing some guts. Heck, Charles de Gaulle must have been turning in his grave as Les Bleus, instead of surrendering in the face of a much more powerful enemy, fought back.

It takes guts to face down the Haka, just ask Brian O’Driscoll. He and Dwayne Peel once came face to face with the indomitable Maori machine during the 2005 Lions tour, and re-

Photo: Getty Images As it was, they did not. They reached the �inal, they faced down the Haka and then proceeded to kill the game of rugby in front of a huge global audience and ultimately came within one

point of becoming the least popular winners of the Webb-Ellis Trophy.

What if another team had reached the �inal? What if it had been England, and they had faced down the Haka with some cultural dancing of their own - a traditional morris dance; bells, sticks and all - would they have been �ined?

Or what if it had been Wales? As the All Blacks began their �ierce Haka, they may have responded with a resounding male voice choir chorus.

Believe me, as an Englishman who spends his home life living in Wales, I know that they can be an intimidating lot. Would you have �ined them?

What hope is there for the rest of the world if a team gets in trouble merely for walking towards the Haka?

Perhaps they just wanted a closer look. We don’t all have to react like that stuffed squirrel in the Freeview Plus adverts, clinging to his tree and

screaming as he watches, rewinds, pauses and fast forwards the Haka over and over again.

Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not a fan of the French. They �luked their way to the World Cup �inal despite being one of the worst teams in the tournament, and besides I have never fully forgiven them for Thierry Henry’s handball in the football World Cup quali�iers. Maybe if he had been at this World Cup it would have been more entertaining. He certainly has better handling skills than Harry Ordinary and the rest of the French team showed.

Actually forget it. I am really not a fan of the French. Fine them. Fine them some more. Serves them bloody well right.

Sincerely,

Colin Henrys, Sports Editor

41

THE COURIER Monday October 31 2011

featuresport

What a difference a year makes Eleven months on from the controversial sacking of Chris Hughton, Charlie Scott asks if Mike Ashley has �inally started to win over the Newcastle United faithful?

Following the news that Newcastle United are offering half-price season tickets to boost crowds at St James Park, it seems timely to consider events at the club over the past year or so.

11 months ago, the Newcastle chairman Mike Ashley controversially removed the popular Chris Hughton from his position as Newcastle United manager.

At the time, players at the club came out and openly criticised Ashley’s handling of affairs while Geordies and football fans alike were in uproar at his intervention, particularly when the club looked to be successfully establishing themselves within the Premier League after their brief sojourn in the Championship.

Hughton had previously been praised by many for managing to keep hold of a number of key players many thought would be queuing for the exit including the likes of Kevin Nolan, Jose Enrique and Joey Barton.

All three were in�luential as Newcastle bounced straight back into the Premiership and started the 20102011 season well, securing unlikely results against some of the division’s top teams.

A 6-0 thrashing of Aston Villa and a 1-0 victory over Arsene Wenger’s Arsenal were particular highlights as Newcastle secured a comfortable 11th place going into December.

Hughton was then sacked.

Fast-forward 11 months and the acrimony surrounding Ashley’s behaviour last season seems like a distant memory. Some fantastic acquisitions during the summer transfer window, largely down to the inspired work of Head Scout Graham Carr, and a re-

treat away from the public eye have not made fans like Ashley, but they at least spend less time thinking about him.

The club has managed their best start to a season for more than a decade and they have even been enjoying the dizzy heights of the Champions League spots in recent weeks.

Despite the dif�iculties facing him when he took over, both in the dressing room and on the terraces, Pardew has performed brilliantly considering the circumstances surrounding his appointment and �irst few months in charge.

In January, Ashley continued his self-alienation by selling the club’s star player Andy Carroll to Liverpool for a fee of £35m without having any inclination as to who would replace him.

Pardew made do with those at his disposal and at the end of the season Newcastle United, despite the predictions of many ‘experts’ and fans, were still a Premier League club, �inishing in a respectable 12th place.

Since then, Ashley and Pardew have overseen a dramatic overhaul of the playing staff at the club. Jose Enrique has been sold to Liverpool, Nolan was allowed to join Championship side West Ham, while the controversial Joey Barton was emphatically shown the door after a series of Twitter outbursts criticising the club’s management.

The likes of Yohann Cabaye, Demba Ba, Sylvain Marveux and Davide Santon have been brought in to replace the out-going players without spending huge amounts of money.

Ashley has put a much greater emphasis on scouting and is now reap-

Newcastle fans sit amongst empty seats at St James Park, but could this be a thing of the past?

Photos: Getty Images ing the �inancial bene�its of such an approach. The �irst two in particular, Cabaye and Ba, have proven to be instant hits in terms of both effectiveness and popularity.

With Newcastle performing well above the expectations of the fans, and within a strict �inancial framework, the days of excess under Sam Allardyce and Kevin Keegan are �irm-

ly in the past.

The club have yet to sell out at St James’ Park this season, suggesting that fans are still sceptical of Ashley’s reign, yet his decision to offer halfprice additional season tickets to existing season ticket holders has made it possible for fans to now watch their team for as little as £15 a game for the remainder of the season.

Win WWE tickets! Back of the net Video of the week

This could be a smart move on his behalf, particularly following the recent success the club has enjoyed in the transfer market and the fantastic start the team have made on the pitch this season.

They’re never going to love him, but they might grow to hate him slightly less. Mightn’t they?

Tweet of the week -@SkySportsFraser October 26

Why do people beep their horn as they drive past us? Do they think other people watching will recognise the sound of their horn? #numpties Stan: Kroenke vs Wenger WWE RAW will come crashing in to Newcastle, Metro Radio Arena November 8.

This is your chance to witness all of the drama and excitement that WWE has to offer in front of your very own eyes. WWE’s top Superstars will be in action including John Cena, Randy Orton, Sheamus, CM Punk, The Miz, Big Show, and many more*!

Tickets are selling out fast but thanks to WWE, The Courier have a pair of WWE World Tour tickets to give away to three lucky readers.

For your chance to win this amazing

prize just answer the following question....

Which WWE Superstar will face off against The Rock at WrestleMania XXVIII in The Rock’s hometown of Miami, Florida next April? a) John Cena b) Rey Mysterio c) R.Truth Email your answers to courier.sport@ ncl.ac.uk If you’re not lucky enough to win through The Courier visit wwe.com to buy your ticket. * Line up subject to change.

Since being released earlier this season, this take on Eminem and Dido’s “Stan” has been watched nearly half a million times.

The video, by Arsenal fansite “gunnerblog” looks at the relationship between Arsenal’s ‘silent’ owner Stan Kroenke and manager Arsene Wenger over the course of the American’s ownership of the club.

Although it takes a while for the lyrics to the song to kick in, they are worth waiting for, with Arsenal ‘legends’ such as Amaury Bischoff, Guilleme Warmuz and Emmanuel Frimpong all earning a mention as Kroenke bemoans Wenger’s refusal to spend any money on Arsenal FC.

Sky Sports News’ �ield reporter bemoans another live feed being interrupted by passing vehicle.

The Longshot

Wales to beat New Zealand in the four nations. Having carried Britain’s hopes on their shoulders in the rugby union, Wales’ rugby league stars venture into the four nations for the �irst time and Betfair have given them an outside chance of causing a major upset against the All Blacks.

34/5

42

THE COURIER Monday October 31 2011

sportIntraMural

Hurricanes blown away by Batham

Five goals by Ecosoccer striker proves the difference in 10-goal thriller at Longbenton Intra Mural Football Division Two (Weds) Ecosoccer

6

The Hurricanes

4

Rob Stacey at Longbenton Ecosoccer battled their way to victory over The Hurricanes thanks to a �ive star performance from striker Josh Batham. Wearing child-sized orange bibs, Eco edged an extraordinary game to win 6-4.

Spectators of The Hurricances thought they were witnessing greyhound racing as their team were rapid out the blocks and tore through the Ecosoccer defence in the opening stages.

First, their winger showed great skill to whip the ball into the box from the right and cause confusion amongst the Eco defence. The cross was skillfully turned in off the knee of The Hurricanes’ striker Chris McCrory to make it 1-0.

This was a sign of things to come as The Hurricanes doubled their lead when Eco keeper Chris Jones failed to deal with a hopeful shot by Adam Duckworth from the edge of the area leaving the Eco lads in a twist and facing an uphill battle.

However the eye of the storm had now passed and the Ecosoccer clean up operation began to get into full swing.

First, Josh Batham left ‘keeper Harry Dawson motionless by beating him at the near post with his left footed strike, then Eco mid�ielder Tom War-

Ecosoccer’s strikeforce proved too good for The Hurricanes Photography:

Hubert Lam

ren hit a long-range drive that was destined for the bottom right corner until Dawson dived agilely and got a hand to it to keep it out. Unfortunately for Dawson, however, he only succeeded in parrying to an awaiting Batham who doubled his tally.

The momentum was with the bibs at this stage and they took the lead for the �irst time when Joe Murray �licked a Will Fennelli corner on at the near post and Batham sealed a 30 minute hat-trick with a �inish from six yards.

Zack Goddard then showed great strength to shrug off a challenge and �ired past the keeper to make it 4-2 to Eco, a scoreline that had seemed very improbable after The Hurricanes had got off to such a good start.

It got even better for Ecosoccer too, when Goddard assisted his strike partner to make it �ive by �licking on a long ball into the path of Batham who ran past the Hurricanes’ defence and showed his �inishing instinct with a sublime lob over the keeper to make

it 5-2.

There was still time before half-time for The Hurricanes to begin their �ightback though, and they pulled one back when a ball played in from the left was headed home from close range by Duckworth.

Unbelievably, The Hurricanes then struck again straight from the kickoff after the ball found its way to McCrory, who cut in from the left and neatly �inished at the near post to bring them back into contention 5-4

and rounded off a frantic but thrilling �irst half of football from both teams.

The respective captains must have had words about the indifferent defending from both teams at half-time however, much to the disappointment of the neutral.

The second-half produced a much more measured display. The Hurricanes were looking for goals to come back and win the game, while Ecosoccer were desperately searching for an elusive �inal goal which would give them a comfortable winning margin.

The Hurricanes controlled possession for large periods of the second half with numerous long throws and corners, but they failed to create that clear chance to give them the equaliser that they were desperately after.

The teams were extremely balanced overall, however Ecosoccer captain Tom Warren produced a marvellous moment of control, skill and composure to dart past The Hurricanes mid�ield, drive forward and place a through ball into the path of striker Batham with the outside of his foot.

The striker had only the keeper to beat and placed his shot into the bottom corner, putting Ecosoccer into an unassailable lead while leaving the Economics research team rushing to the history books and seeing if his �ive-goal feat was a club record.

Batham may indeed take the headlines, but Ecosoccer owe much to a solid display shown from the back �ive in the second half with James Wheeler a rock at the back and Jones in goal dealing with anything in the box.

In contrast, The Hurricanes, who have now lost two in two, will be hoping to get off the mark when they meet Ar U Shavin A Laugh next week.

Barca lay down the Law Last year’s runners-up hit Aftermath for nine to continue impressive start to the season

Intra Mural Football Division One (Weds) Aftermath

0

Barca Law Na

9

Daniel Carnie at Longbenton 3G Barca Law Na ran riot at Longbenton in the late afternoon kick off to secure their 10th consecutive win in the Wednesday league. It is dif�icult to remember such a one-sided �ixture in recent times, aside from those involving the real Barcelona themselves, such as a recent 8-0 win against Osasuna.

Their Newcastle University namesakes managed to go one better than that here however, as a hat trick from Chris McKee and four goals from Jamie Hurworth saw the Lawyers to a comprehensive 9-0 win.

Prior to kick-off there had been high expectations of an even match as newly-promoted Aftermath looked to bounce back from last week’s defeat

to Crayola.

Sadly though, in terms of a contest, this didn’t quite live up to the billing.

In their �irst game of the new season Barca Law Na had easily brushed aside Castle Leazes 6-0, but with one win and one defeat from their �irst two matches Aftermath have already proved that they are keen to avoid being the whipping boys in their new division.

Today however, was not a day that they will back on too fondly as they appeared completely helpless in the face of wave upon wave of Barca attack.

After iconic Intra Mural referee Steve Catchpole turned up 10 minutes late, the players were raring to go once kick off �inally arrived and it was Barca who made the much stronger start in the opening period, wasting no time in �inding their passing rhythm on the 3G pitch.

Most of their good play came down the left-hand side through James Rawlings but the opening goal, which came on the 15-minute mark, arrived from an unlikely source. Right-back Olly Ingram strolled down the touchline and put over a cross that initially looked to be high and harmless – even Ingram himself turned away in dis-

gust – only for Aftermath goalkeeper Dan Turner to lose the �light of the ball and inexplicably let it �loat into the top of the net.

At that point I turned to an injured member of the Aftermath side and asked: “Floodgates to open then?”

Such a prediction proved to be scarily accurate as Barca completely controlled the game from there on.

They got the second just minutes later through easily their best passing move of the match, one which involved numerous members of the team and ended with captain Josh Cryer arriving unmarked and stroking the ball comfortably into the back of the net.

Three more goals came before halftime as Barca scythed through the Aftermath defence at will. Chris McKee got the pick of the bunch with a ferocious left footed volley that went in off the post and last year’s top scorer Jamie Hurworth also got a couple before the interval after lovely link-up play with his strike partner.

Barca didn’t let up in the second half either and scored again only minutes after the restart with a goal uncannily similar to the one before the break – this time McKee was the bene�iciary

of good work from Hurworth to make it 5-0.

The two were at it again shortly afterwards as Hurworth completed his hat-trick by rounding the keeper after more good link-up play. McKee then completed a hat-trick of his own minutes later after a rare lull in proceedings.

With Barca Law Na not content with their eight goals and Hurworth not satis�ied with three, he got himself another goal to complete the humiliation �ive minutes from the end with the defence tiring, as he rounded the ‘keeper once more and ran the ball into the empty net.

Having suffered a few injuries, Aftermath can only be glad that the score didn’t reach double �igures.

Barca, however, march onwards and upwards.

On a day when the Newcastle Medics Firsts were unable to �ield a team for their match with Crayola, the Lawyers took a huge step towards going one better than their runners-up spot last year and are looking good for �inally knocking the Medics off the top of the table. With six points and 15 goals from their �irst two matches they were certainly fancying their chances.

For Aftermath meanwhile, the key now is how to respond to this terrible result. If they are to preserve their top �light status they must pick themselves up quickly.

Ten of the best Barca’s incredible run of form has seen them win their last ten Wednesday League matches: 9 Feb vs Medics 1sts WON 4 - 0 23 Feb vs Politique WON 4 – 1 2 Mar vs Hend’n Hall WON 2 – 1 9 Mar vs Hend’n Hall WON 2 – 1 16 Mar vs B Forsyth WON 3 – 2 23 Mar vs D Untied WON 3 – 1 30 Mar vs Politique WON 5 – 0 16 May vs C Leazes WON 5 – 0 12 Oct vs C Leazes WON 6 – 0 26 Oct vs Aftermath WON 9 – 0

THE COURIER Monday October 31 2011

IMleaguetablesp44>>>

Seventh hell again for New boys as Lokomotiv get season on track More misery for Newhist as Bishop hat-trick inspires Close House mauling

Scott Bowman looks to beat Newhist debutant Rowan Northcott

Photography: Sam Tyson

Intra Mural Football Division Two (Weds) Newhist FC

1

Lokomotiv

7

Owen Evans at Close House Newhist FC were dealt a footballing lesson from Lokomotiv at Close House on Wednesday afternoon, with Loko walking away with a crushing 7-1 victory over the historians. Both sides went into their second Division Two �ixture of the season on the back

of losses in their �irst match and were desperate to put their campaigns back on track with a win.

The match started brightly, with both sides passing the ball well and testing the keepers early on. However it was Lokomotiv who made the most of their possession, and within 10 minutes were 1-0 up through a �ine strike from Jamie Bishop.

It was a matter of minutes before Bishop added to his tally with a swerving piledriver from outside the box of which Steven Gerrard would be proud of.

Newhist continued to battle and put pressure on Lokomotiv goalkeeper Adam Peel with some good attacking play from Rory ‘sicknote’ BrigstockBarron and Josh Walton, however the gameplan was taken apart when skipper Sam Turnock latched onto a �licked header and slotted it through

James Thornton’s legs to make it 3-0 just before half time.

As the second half got underway, any hope Newhist may have gained from James Thornton’s in�luential team talk was obliterated within seconds, as a slip in defence from debutant Rowan Northcott allowed Dan Parkinson to slide the ball past a helpless Thornton into the back of the net.

The �ifth and sixth goals were added in quick succession, the �irst of which was powered into the back of the net with an audacious overhead kick from Bishop which managed to �ind the top corner of the Newhist goal. and wrap up his hat trick.

Josh Robinson added the sixth while Newhist continued to challenge despite the de�icit, attempting to salvage some pride from the game, their hopes were dealt a further and �inal blow when a Lokomotiv corner was

lofted over James Thornton and met by an unmarked Scott Bowman who nodded the ball in from all of two yards.

The only real positive for Newhist came in the closing minutes when Rory Brigstock-Barron received the ball from a Colin Henrys’ throw deep within the opposition half before outpacing two defenders and placing the ball into the bottom corner.

Lokomotiv will be buoyed by a hardearned three points, which will give them a solid platform to build on for what should be a successful season if they can continue their current form.

The realisation of how much of a struggle this season will be for Newhist will be starting to set in, and some soul searching may be needed if they are to achieve their hope of avoiding relegation.

Boca suffer Shavin defeat under �loodlights

Third time lucky for Division Two new boys as they record �irst win of the season

Intra Mural Football Division Two (Weds)

Ar U Shavin A Laugh

3

Boca Seniors

2

Greg Holmes and Mark Green

at Longbenton 3G

After a horrendous start to the season, a �loodlit Wednesday night at Longbenton provided the perfect setting for Ar U Shavin A Laugh to get

their season on track.

This was a real football match from the outset with both teams looking to play the beautiful game the way it should be played. The Boca skipper enjoyed some early success creating a couple of chances for his forwards, but the Shavin back four held �irm and kept them out.

Then the Laughing Boys’ time came, after an audacious chip over the Boca back line, Bryn Iwanyckyj was in, giggling his way past three Boca defenders and chipping over the keeper allowing Jake Wimshurst to bundle in Shavin’s �irst goal of the season.

The second half started with some expected pressure from Boca, but Shavin skipper Dan Monaghan and

his trusty back four soaked it up with ease. Shavin’s second came after a quick free kick and a 30 yard wonder goal from Windebank, �inding the top corner from an almost impossible angle, to begin living up to all of his preseason hype.

Boca replied quickly however after a Fabien Barthez impression from Ted ‘the bear’ Mathers in the Shavin net to allow Ed Gray to score. The goal made it 2 – 1 with 20 minutes to go but Shavin restored their two goal advantage shortly afterwards.

Defenders Mould and Wilkinson played a fantastic one-two, creating an opportunity for a cross. The Boca keeper spilt the ball across, allowing Shavin’s infamous angry striker Jonny

Harrington to slot home.

With �ive minutes to go, Boca broke through and created their �irst clearcut opportunity, which was taken fantastically well by Sam Mulroy to make it 3–2 and ‘squeaky bum time’ for the Laughing Boys.

However, Shavin held on with skipper Monaghan putting his body on the line in the �inal minutes to clear three consecutive Boca corners in the dying seconds and secure an overdue win for newly promoted Ar U Shavin A Laugh.

Full results, league tables and top goalscorer charts on p.44

43

IntraMuralsport

The Secret Intra Mural Footballer #3 Absence

It makes the heart of a team grow resentful, according to The Courier’s exclusive undercover player.

The saga surrounding Carlos Tevez’s childish behaviour in Munich rumbles on at Manchester City with a move away from the club in January now seeming inevitable. Having been �ined four weeks wages, Tevez is now threatening to sue his manager Roberto Mancini, all but con�irming he will not be seen in a Manchester City shirt again.

While it is rare for players to refuse to warm up at Intra Mural level and even rarer for them to sue their own manager, there are outside factors that can strongly impact on an individual’s availability and performance.

A teammate of mine got tonsillitis last year, the cursed kissing disease.

He missed three weeks of games and took weeks after that to fully recover.

Sexual promiscuity is part and parcel of university life, but if the girl sounds like she’s been smoking 100 a day maybe you should think twice before ‘sealing the deal’.

Fresher’s �lu is another gamechanger for clubs, particularly during the early stages of the season. The wonderful performances of Freshers in club trials prove to be misleading once their alcohol intake and �itness levels switch places.

Then there are genuine injuries.

Everyone seems to have that one niggling pain, always there and waiting to surface that is often rooted in the distant past, and is undoubtedly ‘the only reason why I never got picked up [by a Premier League club]’. I’ve got one; my right calf. After tearing it a few years ago I now seem to think I’ve torn it every time I get the mere hint of a cramp. It’s embarrassing. Once I was even carried off the pitch by my worried team mates, only to realise once I’d been subbed off that I was actually �ine. That was not a good look.

And the big one: the long-distance girlfriend. The bane of many a team in Intra Mural football. Seasons have been won and lost depending on the locality of a star player’s other half.

The fortnightly visit either to home or to a university several hours away takes its toll not only on the player himself, both physically and emotionally, but also on those he leaves behind.

How is a manager expected to plan his team when some of his players are missing every other game? Longdistance journeys at weekends wreak havoc with sleeping patterns, training regimes and most importantly the �ixture list. My opinion, as a player, you’re better off without them.

We have our �irst venture of the year in the cup this week, and family commitments, friend’s birthdays and work have robbed us of three of our best players. The signs are ominous.

44

THE COURIER Monday October 31 2011

sportIntraMural Intra Mural Football round-up Week three of the Intra Mural season and we’re already starting to sort the whipping boys from the sides handing out the lashings.

In the �irst division, Barca-Law-Na look like the side to beat after another dominant victory and a consecutive clean sheet to boot. However, the real talking point in the league last week was the Medics Firsts failure to string together a side against Crayola, causing the match to be abandoned. The side’s predicament appears particularly strange when one glances at the league below and sees their second team sitting comfortably at the top of the table.

In the second division new boys Newhist FC once more went for seven and may well be on a fast track to relegation with a tough game against the league leaders at Longbenton this Wednesday. Beyond this, the league looks competitive and the structure of next week’s table is anyone’s guess.

This seasons surprise package Newcastle Galacticos lead the way in the third division with three wins in three, but should be tested on Wednesday by Brown Magic who thumped the Dynamos 8-1 last week.

Roman Villa look like the Galacticos’ main challengers and their clash set to take place on November 9 could go a long way to deciding where the title goes.

Football Wednesday 11-a-side

Netball 4pm-5pm

Division 1

Team

Pld

W

D

L

F

A

Pts

Team

Pld

W

D

L

F

A

Pts

1

Net Assets

2

2

0

0

30

10

8

1

Barca-Law-Na

2

2

0

0

15

0

6

2

Uni Hockey

2

2

0

0

20

8

8

2

Henderson Hall

3

2

0

1

9

6

6

3

Leazes Ladies

2

2

0

0

27

20

8

3

Dyslexic Untied

2

1

0

1

4

3

3

4

Net Assets

2

1

1

0

24

21

6

4

Crayola

2

1

0

1

2

4

3

5

Agrics B

2

0

1

1

8

9

2

5

Aftermath

3

1

0

2

3

12

3

6

Mansoc

2

0

0

2

16

19

0

CHS

2

0

0

2

18

26

0

RRB1

2

0

0

2

2

31

0

6

Newcastle Medics 1

1

0

1

0

2

2

1

7

7

Castle Leazes

3

0

1

2

5

13

1

8

Aftermath Barca Law Na

0 9

Crayola Newcastle Medics

P P

Henderson Hall Castle Leazes

5 3

2: Dave Eccles (Aftermath), Ben Hooper (H Hall) 1: Tom Barbour (Leazes)

Top Goalscorers 7: Jamie Hurworth (Barca) 5: Chris McKee (Barca)

Agrics B Biology Netball

12 12

Net Assets RRB1

21 2

CHS Leazes Ladies

9 14

Uni Hockey Mansoc

10 8

5pm-6pm

Division 2

Team

Pld

W

D

L

F

A

Pts

1

Chem Eng

2

2

0

0

18

7

8

2

Netball Ninjas

2

2

0

0

25

23

8

CHS

2

1

0

1

27

13

4

Team

Pld

W

D

L

F

A

Pts

1

Newcastle Medics 2

3

3

0

0

11

2

9

3

2

Ecosoccer

2

2

0

0

13

4

6

4

Agrics

2

1

0

1

29

17

4

Intra Mural Rugby round-up

3

Boroussia Forsyth

3

2

0

1

5

4

6

5

NUSSC

2

1

0

1

18

10

4

4

Boca Seniors

3

1

0

2

11

9

3

6

Polly’s Dollies

2

1

0

1

13

15

4

5

Lokomotiv

2

1

0

1

9

7

3

7

The History Girls

2

0

0

2

4

21

0

After a chaotic start to the season owing to a lack of available playing space, the Intra Mural rugby union season is now in full �low.

An impressive start to the season from Armstrong, including a crushing 67-0 defeat of Medics at Close House last week, has put them top of the pile early on, but last season’s champions Titans have also won two out of two, albeit without a bonus point so far.

Also unbeaten are Cheeky Ladies after they beat New Uni Freshers last week but a dismal 3-3 draw in their opening match with Agrics 1 means that they also have six points out of eight.

For the Agrics, that draw was followed up by a low-scoring win against Southern Fairies to keep their powerful side in the top four. The Fairies are perhaps the surprise of the season so far however, as despite being expected to challenge for the title, they �ind themselves in the bottom half with just a single bonus point to their name.

It is often said that sport is a marathon not a sprint however, and there is still plenty of rugby to be played before the end of the season, starting with top of the table Armstrong taking on second placed Cheeky Ladies at Heaton this week. Wednesday will also see the clash of the Agrics with the seconds looking to spring an upset against the �irst team.

6

Ar U Shavin A Laugh

3

1

0

2

3

13

3

8

Architects

2

0

0

2

5

33

0

7

The Hurricanes

2

0

0

2

5

8

0

8

Newhist FC

2

0

0

2

4

14

0

Photography: Sam Tyson

Ar U Shavin A Laugh Boca Seniors

3 2

Lokomotiv Newhist FC

Ecosoccer The Hurricanes

6 4

Newcastle Medics 2nds 1 Boroussia Forsyth 0

Top Goalscorers 6: Josh Batham (Ecosoccer) 4: Zack Goddard (Ecosoccer),

7 1

Guy Hindley (Medics) 3: Jamie Bishop (Lokomotiv), Chris McCrory (Hurricanes)

Division 3 1

Architects CHS Chem Eng Polly’s Dollies

0 15 7 4

Netball Ninjas Agrics NUSSC The History Girls

12 11 10 1

Rugby Union Division 1 Team

Pld

W

D

L

F

A

Pts

1

Armstrong

2

2

0

0

98

0

8

2

Cheeky Ladies

2

1

1

0

46

10

6

Team

Pld

W

D

L

F

A

Pts

3

Titans

2

2

0

0

41

10

6

NCL Galacticos

3

3

0

0

11

6

9

4

Agrics 1

2

1

1

0

15

8

5

5

Larrikins

2

1

0

1

38

21

4

6

Engines

2

1

0

1

35

38

4

7

Southern Fairies

2

0

0

2

5

32

1

8

Agrics 2

1

0

0

1

0

28

0

2

Roman Villa FC

2

2

0

0

6

1

6

3

Brown Magic

2

1

0

1

9

3

3

4

Combined Honours

3

1

0

2

6

6

3

5

Shagther Senseless

3

1

0

2

3

4

3

6

Politic Thistle

2

1

0

1

5

6

3

9

New Uni Freshers

2

0

0

2

14

78

0

7

Jesmondino FC

2

1

0

1

3

5

3

10

Medics

1

0

0

1

0

67

0

8

Newcastle Dynamos

3

0

0

3

1

13

0

Southern Fairies Agrics 1

5 12

Armstrong Medics

67 0

Cheeky Ladies New Uni Freshers

43 7

Titans Larrikins

21 10

Combined Honours Jesmondino FC

1 2

Newcastle Dynamos Brown Magic

1 8

NCL Galacticos Politic Thistle

5 3

Roman Villa Shagther Senseless

2 0

Top Goalscorers 4: Carlos Totti (Galacticos) 3: Ollie Griffiths (R Villa),

Lewis Cockerill 2:D U Ata (Galacticos), James Chatt-Ramsey (CHS)

Online Exclusive Visit www.thecourieronline.co.uk for an exclusive match report on Roman Villa’s victory against Shagther Senseless

THE COURIER Monday October 31 2011

BUCSsport

Good NURL shun shifty Sheffield The owls make amends for last week’s disappointment Rugby League

Sheffield Hallam 1sts Newcastle 1sts

18 24

Ian McPherson at Cochrane Park

The Death Machine’s fresh-faced team headed to Sheffield with a score to settle, having recorded their only loss of last season away to Hallam, and were keen to avoid a similar fate this time around.

The match kicked off with typical ferocity, with Miley Mudson putting in some enormous shots from looseforward and man-of-the-match Harry Rigby taking countless hit-ups in the early stages. NURL’s early solidity slipped after 10 minutes however, as a Hallam drongo trundled over for the opening points after Conor Elison had put in a fine tackle on Newcastle captain Dame Knoxley. The Sheffield

kicker somehow avoided kicking himself in the face when taking the conversion - his favourite party trick - and made the score 6-0.

Luckily for the visitors, they had a not so secret weapon in the form of Andy U. Beansquart, who marked his first appearance for the club in nine years with a fine solo try. A quick penalty by nosy stand-off Chris Grithwiffs caught the Hallam defence off guard before he shipped the ball to Beansquart, who scored just to the left of the posts. A Grithwiffs conversion tied the scores at 6-6.

The Death Machine were behind again moments later after conceding a feeble try right under their sticks after Hallam’s hooker scooted the ball over from two yards.

NURL looked to bounce back quickly and found the impetus they needed through skipper Dame Knoxley who wiggled and jiggled his way to the line with only moments of the first half re-

maining.

The teams went into half time with the scores tied, though NURL had looked by the far the more dangerous outfit.

As the second half progressed, the pea-brained Hallam team became increasingly predictable in their attacks and began to expose huge areas of space on both wings. The Death Machine exploited this ruthlessly through the tireless running of mercurial full-back Samuel Boyd and winger James Walker. Oddly it was the visitor’s try-shy prop Div Chats who notched the first points of the second half, crashing over from 1-yard before subbing himself off due to fatigue.

Hallam somehow fluked another poor try through their hooker, taking his tally of awful tries to two, and got themselves back into a match that should never have been so close. Fortunately the Death Machine found a match winning try through their

groovy loose-forward Miley Mudson.

Hooker Josh Cranage popped the ball to Mudson before the snake-hipped maestro moonwalked over the line to make the score 24-18.

There was just enough time left for NURL to give away a succession of stupid penalties and defend the final stages on their own try-line. Skipper Knoxley distracted the opposition by peeling off his shirt and wobbling his gut in their faces, which seemed to do the trick as Hallam failed to threaten the NURL defence.

The final whistle was a relief to the Death Machine who had made amends for last year’s defeat, despite making it far harder than it needed to be. Next week the AU’s most beloved team take on Liverpool at home and will look to make it two wins on the bounce.

Missed points against Hull

Fencing

Newcastle 2nds Hull 1sts

126 135

James Docherty at the Sports Centre The 2011/2012 Fencing Season started for the second team as the 2010/2011 season ended, with a match against Hull. Last year Hull ran out comfortable winners, so this match gave a good opportunity to see how much the gap had narrowed over the summer.

Sabre was first, and despite some strong fencing from the squad of Tom Patterson, Jonathan Land and Captain Peter Stalley, Hull eventually ran out 45-40 winners.

Newcastle have some experienced fencers in the next weapon, Foil, which became evident as the team

built up a comfortable lead going into the last match of the weapon. Sadly, Hull’s last man proved too strong and despite some well-timed attacks from Dave Mallinson, Hull overhauled their deficit and won 45-44.

To win the match, Newcastle needed to take the last weapon, Epee, by seven points or more. With the entire body as a valid target and double hits allowed, the match was close throughout, with some excellent fencing from debutants George Flewitt and Alex Walchester. Newcastle entered the last bout of the weapon eight points ahead and in a position to win the match. Unfortunately Hull’s direct tactics in this fight worked to their advantage and the lead was whittled away until Hull took the weapon, and with it the match, 45-42.

Northumbria 4ths Newcastle 2nds

2 2

Charlie Scott at Coach Lane Newcastle launched a spirited comeback in the second half to draw the game against their fierce rivals Northumbria, but will be disappointed at securing just the solitary point after sparkling intermittently.

Both teams came into this tie with high expectations. Northumbria were looking to recover from a heavy defeat to their third team while Newcastle were also intent on getting their first points of the league campaign.

The first half started at a frenetic pace with Newcastle threatening to take an early lead. Adam Ball went close after eight minutes, latching on to a clever through ball from medic Rishi Dhand, only to hit his shot wide.

However, Newcastle did make their

pressure tell just minutes later, Jonny Sexton stepping up and spanking a superb free-kick from 30 yards into the top left-hand corner of the Northumbria goal.

Attacking midfielder Mark Carey was Northumbria’s most influential player and after hitting the post with a clever header that had Murau wellbeaten, he finally made the breakthrough for the home side, volleying home from close range after Murau had pulled off a miraculous onehanded save to keep his initial headed effort out.

Newcastle enjoyed the better start to the second half, clearly taking their captain Mitch King’s half-time comments on board, by looking to release their talented wingers Ball and Dhand at every opportunity.

Despite their promising start to the second period, no goal was forthcoming and the tide began to turn in Northumbria’s favour as the game wore on.

Northumbria managed to reacquaint themselves with the wood-

win for Netball Firsts

Netball Fiona Moss Netball correspondent

Newcastle 1sts UCLAN

Fencing falls short at the Sports Centre Photography: James Donnelly

work once more; on this occasion it was their centre-back Jordan Webster that was left cursing Murau’s crossbar. Eventually, however, Newcastle’s defence was breached. Northumbria’s striker Colling scoring the goal that gave his side a 2-1 lead after running on to a straighforward through ball from Rory Gibson and slotting calmly past Murau.

Shortly after the goal, the referee was involved in what would turn out to be a deciding moment in the game.

Newcastle’s Chris Holt appeared to have won a penalty after turning inside the penalty area, only to be wiped out by the aggressive Webster.

The referee however, inexplicably thought otherwise, waving play on, much to the despair of Newcastle’s tiring side.

However, despite going against Newcastle, this decision appeared to spark them into life. After switching from a 4-4-2 formation to a more attacking 4-3-3 the team looked more fluid and with Marks and Dhand playing off Mitsford it seemed only a mat-

ter of time before they would grab an equaliser.

It was Marks that made it 2-2, outjumping everyone to get on the end of Dhand’s tantalising cross and planting an emphatic header past Michael Moens in the Northumbria goal to secure his side a point.

Despite being slightly disappointed not to secure the first league win of the season, Newcastle captain Mitch King spoke afterwards of his “relief at getting a point” and of the frustration at “only playing well in patches”.

King also spoke of his disappointment at the referee’s performance, particularly his decision not to award what the Royals captain described as “a stonewall penalty that could have changed the game”.

Newcastle need to pick themselves up, learn from the result today, and focus on playing to their potential in their upcoming games, which despite the early stage in the season are slowly becoming must-win fixtures after the side have picked up just one point from a possible six so far.

53 31

Following a narrow win in their first game of the season, Newcastle Firsts made it two in a row with a dominant win over the University of Central Lancashire, winning 53-31.

Initially it seemed like the encounter would be a close affair with both teams converting their own centre passes, but it was not long before Newcastle pulled away and took control of the match, extending their lead in every quarter. The whole team played with skill and accuracy, with a solid centre court controlling the tempo of the game.

Katie Rimmer stood up against a strong opposition, offering perfect feeds into the shooters, whilst Joanna Murnane ensured a firm first line of defence and was consequentially awarded player of the match. This was an excellent win for the team and it may be that such a dominating score could prove crucial in the closing weeks of the season.

Leeds 3rds Newcastle 2nds

Royals robbed by ref at the Poly Men’s Football

45

36 30

The seconds went away to Leeds to face a tough opposition. An unsteady start saw them immediately take the back foot, however, after a much improved display in the third quarter the girls looked as if they would be able to pull it back. Newcastle stepped it up, forcing errors and being far more successful in terms of forcing opportunities and converting them, but despite some clinical shooting, the team struggled to get the ball into the circle often enough. Newcastle’s defensive partnership of Helen Jones and Lauren Barnett worked exceptionally well together, turning over numerous attacking balls. However, in the final quarter the girls lost their control, and with Leeds changing their Goal shooter, stopping the home side from scoring proved a task beyond them. In the end Leeds ran out winners, 36-30.

Leeds Trinity 1sts Newcastle 4ths

42 35

The Fourths also faced Leeds away and despite an unsteady start, the girls improved their performance throughout the match. The 3rd quarter saw Newcastle win by 10 goals with exceptional shooting coming from Ella Davison. However, the girls could not maintain this control in the final quarter and Leeds regained authority, resulting in a loss 42-35 for Newcastle. This exceptionally close match showed specific weaknesses of the team, which need to be worked on, but also demonstrated impressive abilities of specific individuals, with Freya Cromarty again playing exceptionally and being singled out as player of the match.

46

THE COURIER Monday October 31 2011

sportBUCS

Royals handed third defeat NUHMC r in a row despite late revival shakey st

Rugby Union

Newcastle 1sts Loughborough 1sts

Men’s Hockey

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Newcastle 1sts Leeds 1sts

Nick Gabriel at Heaton Sports Ground

It proved to be the same old story for Newcastle’s Rugby Union first XV as they slipped to yet another defeat last Wednesday. This time it was a 38-25 loss at the hands of a bullish Loughborough side, despite another inspired second half performance.

Head coach Tom Wilkinson made seven changes from the team that was well beaten by Leeds last time out. Scrumhalf Greg Illingworth was rewarded for his try scoring display coming off the bench last week and given his first start for the first XV. A further change of note was the insertion of fourth year Medic Jonathan Smith into the side. This was to be the experienced prop’s first ever start for the Uni firsts.

Newcastle boast a good record over Loughborough in recent seasons, winning three out of the last four encounters between the two sides.

It was, however, the away outfit that just shaded the rather scrappy opening exchanges. A Newcastle knock-on inside their own 22 saw them surrender possession to the away side, allowing them to proceed to score in the corner. Although the conversion was missed, the away side had taken an early 5-0 lead.

In spite of a coolly slotted penalty from Newcastle’s Andy John reducing the deficit to two points soon after, the extremely physical Loughborough outfit saw their early dominance of breakdowns all over the pitch pay further dividends. An attacking lineout on the five metre line saw the away side eventually force their way over once more. From under the posts the try was comfortably converted, extending their lead to an ominous nine points.

The period of rugby that followed was strewn with handling errors, making it difficult for either side to find any kind of rhythm as stoppages in play came one after another. Eventually, Newcastle won themselves a penalty in kicking range that was, once again, coolly nudged through the posts by fly-half John. A sustained period of Loughborough pressure was then well negotiated by the much improved Newcastle defence. A prime example of the home outfit’s resoluteness came in the form of flanker Ben Morris, whose two almighty hits in a matter of seconds were a sight to behold, sadistically speaking.

Nevertheless, the unrelenting Loughborough outfit were persistent in their attempts at playing ugly but effective rugby, keeping the ball in the hands of their forwards as they made steady progress towards the try line.

Eventually, Newcastle’s defence succumbed to the overwhelming pressure, as Loughborough went on to score three successive converted tries as half time approached.

However, Newcastle were not to be disheartened as a period of intense pressure following the restart saw the home side eventually rewarded when centre Charles Incledon touched down in the corner. Although a tricky conversion was missed, the home side could at least go into the interval

John Colville at Longbenton

1 1

Perfect playing conditions at Longbenton welcomed newly promoted Newcastle Mens’ Hockey Firsts as they got their home BUCS campaign underway with a toughly contested 1-1 draw against Leeds.

Following a frantic opening 5-5 draw last week to Liverpool John Moores, the Royals were keen to get back on the pitch against a Leeds side, hotly tipped to be pushing for promotion after their relegation from the premier league last season.

Newcastle started poorly and the opening 10 minutes saw Leeds dominate both possession and chances.

Newcastle looked stretched and were thankful for the experienced Johannes Linden who helped keep an attacking Leeds at bay. However, 15 minutes in, after a series of penalty corners, Leeds made their early dominance pay with a controversial goal, the first shot initially being above backboard height, to give them the lead.

This goal served only to galvanise

Out of reach: Loughbourgh were just too good for Newcastle who fell to a third successive defeat.

Photography: Turlough Donnelly

on the back of a positive end to the half’s proceedings, despite trailing by 33 points to 11.

It was Newcastle who took the early initiative in the second half by way of a flowing counter-attacking move that started just inside their own 22.

It was the first example in the match of the attacking, expansive rugby that Wilkinson is so keen for his new-look team to play. Although an unfortunate knock-on just outside the five-metre line saw the try-scoring opportunity lost, the signs were certainly encouraging.

The home side were then taught a cruel lesson in the cost of failing to convert try-scoring chances into points, as a quick break from the

away outfit saw Newcastle concede another try. Although the conversion missed, Newcastle now trailed 38-11.

However, the remaining time that followed was strangely similar to the latter stages of last week’s encounter with Leeds, as once again Newcastle sprang to life as the final whistle approached. Firstly, a clever lineout enabled winger Ben Perkins to touch down in the corner before a tricky conversion was made. Things got even better for the home side as another well worked lineout saw replacement Jo Beckett go over. The try was once again converted, prior to the referee calling time on another impressive second half from the Uni outfit.

Whilst head coach Wilkinson will obviously be able to take some positives away from another defeat, it goes without saying that after two impressive second half performances, his team urgently now need to push on and start playing the open, expansive rugby that they are clearly capable of, on a more consistent basis.

Furthermore, whilst there are signs that the team’s defensive discipline is improving, Newcastle desperately need to become more ruthless in front of the posts, making sure that they finish off more of the try-scoring opportunities coming their way.

Women’s firsts failed to make it two in a row as Manchester avenged their second team’s loss Photography: Moises Bedrossian

47

THE COURIER Monday October 31 2011

BUCSsport

ecover from their Impressive knights art to snatch draw put liverpool to sword the home team and the response was what has come to be expected of the Royals. With formation shifted to a more familiar 4-4-2, Newcastle fought their way back into the game.

Controlled by the tireless Kieran Borrett in the middle of the pitch, the Royals started looking after the ball and had a number of chances.

Newcastle were now playing with some swagger, centre back Max Underwood beginning to find gaps in Leeds’ defensive half-pitch press. 25 minutes in, after a well-worked attack, fresher Harry Kempe calmly rounded the Leeds keeper before finishing on the reverse side, taking Newcastle into half time with a deserved 1-1.

Newcastle began the last 35 minutes well. As the half progressed, the game began to open up and both teams were unlucky not to grab a second, with Ben Underwood nearly converting a pinpoint cross from Rob Ramsden shortly after Leeds saw a cross flash across goal at the other end.

At the back, Newcastle were a tight unit with ‘Man of the Match’ Ed Youngman reading the play brilliantly to neutralise a skilful Leeds attack.

Supported by this platform, Newcastle pushed for the win.

With Ben Gowing imperious in mid-

field, skipper John Colville was free to push on from the back and support play and the Royals were unlucky not to capitalise on direct running into the heart of the Leeds defence from new recruit Simon Miles.

With five minutes to go, Newcastle were forced to endure a late scare when Colville misplaced a pass in his own “D” straight to a Leeds forward.

Colville loses cool: Captain nearly costs Royals the game after ricky across goal pass

A combination of desperate cover defending and a rushing Linden saw the Leeds forward’s effort deflect over the bar to narrowly avoid a cruel late winner and spare the captain’s blushes.

With the match ending 1-1, Newcastle will go into their clash against Sheffield next week, confident that they can compete in their first season back in 1A.

Women’s Basketball Newcastle 1sts Liverpool 1sts

61 37

Rosie Wowk at the Sports Centre

Newcastle Knights bounced back from last week’s disappointing defeat at Leeds with a dominating home victory over Liverpool Firsts last Wednesday.

After last week’s defeat the home team’s main focus was to protect their basket from this week’s enemy Liverpool.

Newcastle started the game off by terrifying the opposition with Lithuanian vice captain, Eglė Duleckytė, sinking three three-pointers in the space of five minutes, leaving Liverpool quivering in their boots. At the other end of the court, the Knights needed a shaking from Coach Chris ‘Catterax’ Bunten as the defence let the Merseysiders in.

Fast breaks were made by Liverpool who sealed several slow yet effective shots under the basket, but in the second quarter awful outside shooting from Liverpool combined with some fantastic rebounds from Durham traitor Tasslem Von Streng allowed Newcastle to open up a comfortable lead.

Great hustling from midget Jen Ben at the front of the zone created turnovers and offensive opportunities, with the high majority of the possession being in Newcastle hands.

Shots were made impossible for Liverpool by Rosie “The Wolf” Wowk’s unstoppable blocks, with players being checked from every angle of the court. Excellent defensive moves by Leonie Smith prevented any possible counter attacks and generated three point openings for the Lithuanians who duly obliged.

Due to the key being left open by a poorly constructed Liverpool defence, Emily ‘The Animal’, and newly appointed guard, spotted her opportunity to drive head-on to the basket, leaving the opposing side no option but to foul.

Becoming a bit complacent after opening up a large deficit, Newcastle began to lose it defensively in the last quarter. With an odd technique, Liverpool’s number 14 managed to headbutt her way into the key, moving the Liverpool side within two baskets.

This wasn’t quite enough for the scouse side, as Newcastle managed to grasp their first victory with a winning result of 61-37. Coach Bunten said in excitement, “after a disappointing result against leeds we knew we had to come out aggressive and

hungry for our first win of the new campaign.

“Training had been great with all the girls working harder than ever, finally getting some offensive continuity and committing to our defensive principals. The game was a fantastic team performance, we shared the basketball well, we committed to running the floor and more importantly our transition defence was 10 times better than the previous week”.

Looking forward, Newcastle know they need to work harder on their man to man defence and come out even stronger against MMU Cheshire next week as another home game lingers.

Upcoming fixtures

2 Nov MMU Chesire 9 Nov Manchester 16 Nov Manchester 23 Nov Leeds Met 2nds 7 Dec Leeds 8 Feb Liverpool 15 Feb MMU Chesire 29 Feb Manchester 7 Mar Leeds Met 2nds

Manc too tough for Newcastle Ladies’ Hockey Newcastle 1sts Manchester 1sts

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Alice Hogg at Longbenton The first home match of their BUCS campaign saw a hard fought but unsuccessful finish for the ladies’ hockey first team against Manchester 1sts. After closely defeating Manchester University’s second team last week, the royals knew that this match against a team recently demoted from national league was set to be one of the hardest of the season.

Against the sun, and looking to capitalise on the opposition’s sleepy state, Newcastle started the match fiercely. Excellent movement of the ball around the back allowed a good gain in territory up the field, enabling Nicki Mollison to strike a beautiful ball across the ‘D’ which caught the end of fresher Charlotte Howatson’s stick, and, much to her surprise, found the backboard. One goal down and only five minutes in did not appear to sit well with the Manchester opposition and they came back with tremendous force.

Newcastle were, however, prepared to defend their lead for the remainder of the match and tireless tracking back by Sophie McClean and big tack-

les by Olivia O’Malley kept Newcastle in the game. At times Manchester’s well drilled movement confused the Newcastle structure, but when the ball reached forwards Jenna Watt and Laura Moore, Newcastle looked equally as dangerous. Silky skills from the pair won Newcastle a short corner: however, this was not converted and Manchester gained from a rapid turnaround, charging the ball back up the pitch to an undefended Newcastle goal, a three on one with helpless goalie Zoe Troughton bought the score to 1-1.

With the change of events and a new-found opportunity for both teams, the game became physical contest with many balls being turned over around the halfway line. The physicality of the match did not favour Nicki Mollison in the end, who was unfairly picked out of a number of hard tackles and carded. Half-time bought an even score line and even more determination from both teams.

A half-time reshuffling and change of formation by new coach Bruce Mcphate, had the Royals hoping they would be able to counter Manchester’s movement. However Newcastle were instantly inundated at the back and although defending the goal for long periods, the waves of attack continued as they were unable to get the ball past the halfway line with any sort of ease.

This culminated in an unavoidable

short corner being awarded after Hattie Cunningham slide tackling the opposition to prevent a goal (someone get the girl some astros!). Despite the short corner attempt being defended by a fearless run by Olivia O’Malley, the penalties continued to be awarded and eventually the defence cracked when a well-positioned straight strike found the goal.

2-1 down saw Newcastle determined to find the space upfront but unfortunately some obvious shortcorner opportunities were missed by the umpires, which potentially altered the dynamic of the game.

As each team tracked from end to end, Manchester were lucky enough to gain a short corner for a foul committed outside the ‘D’ which they duly converted with another powerful straight strike. Despite Newcastle’s best efforts the clock was against them and desperation led to another green card for Nicki Mollison, which landed her in the sin bin for the remaining two minutes.

Newcastle battled to the end with 10 players but as the final whistle went the score stood at 3-1 to Manchester, who were dominant in the second half. Next week Newcastle travel to Liverpool to play newly promoted John Moore, hopefully an easier task if they carry on the strength from Wednesday’s match.

Sport

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THE COURIER Monday October 31 2011

Ladies hockey: Royals rocked by Manc page 47

thecourieronline.co.uk/sport

NWR remove Cheshire smiles

Intra Mural: All this weeks results pages 42-44

Honours even at Longbenton Newcastle �irsts hold Leeds to a 1-1 draw

Women’s rugby set standard Women’s Rugby Newcastle 1sts Chester 1sts

47 0

So�ie Raine at Cochrane Park On a cold autumn day at Cochrane Park, Newcastle Women’s Rugby �irst XV played Chester University for their �irst BUCS match of the season. It was a good turnout of established players and also several freshers making their debut for NWR. Kick off was delayed due to the referee not showing up but the hero of the day was Coops who pulled on his refereeing kit to help us out. Kick off started and NWR received a wellplaced kick and started the counter attack. After a few phases Newcastle were over halfway and with good support from number eight, winger Livvy Coombs was able to break to score the �irst try with less than �ive minutes on the clock. The missed conversion kept the score at 5-0. It was not long before NWR doubled their lead as captain and �ly half Phoebe Lebrecht made it 10 – 0 with the second try of the match.

Newcastle were soon back in the Cheshire side’s 22 due to another break from Livvy Coombs and despite conceding a penalty the ball was soon turned over and taken over the try-line by new fullback Pat Lapierre.

Good work by the forward packs, taking the ball from a line out in the Chester 22 then gave the perfect opportunity to drive the ball over the try line and score. The try was scored by Sarah Bannon in the new position of prop and gave NWR a four try lead.

Although there were no conversions in the �irst half, this wasn’t the last of the trys as fullback Lapierre went over in the corner of the pitch after receiving a turnover from scrum half Hannah McShane.

In the second half, Chester improved their defence but only held NWR at bay for a while, before the Newcastle side continued where they left off.

The numbers needed to be committed to the breakdowns, this drew players from Chester to contest for the ball, leaving overlaps in the back line and an opening for winger Elizabeth Sev-

ers to stretch her legs and score the �irst of the second half. This was then successfully converted by Lapierre, giving the home side a 37-0 lead.

With the result beyond doubt, NWR brought on Jess Moore and Rosie Neal to make their debuts for Newcastle 1sts and within seconds of being on, scrum half Neal made a fantastic tackle, which made all take note. Some beautiful constructive play from �ly half Phoebe Lebrecht caused holes to open in Chester’s defence, allowing for the runner to gain ground from an off load due to the lack of counter rucking. This brought Newcastle back inside the opposition 22 and despite Chester gaining a scrum, an impressive drive from the NWR pack forced the turnover, creating holes once more in the away side’s defence.

Emma Boyle and Holly Malins took full advantage of this providing good support for each other and scoring under the posts. The eighth and �inal try was scored in the last few minutes of the game, back from just over half way Pat Lapierre showed off her football skills chipping the ball on for herself then kicking a well placed grubber to Elizabeth Severs allowing her to score her third try of the day. This left the �inal score at 47-0 to NWR. Back of the match to Rosie Neal, forward of the match to Sarah Bannon and man of the match vice captain Sophie Bale.

This was the �irst match of the season and of course was highly important on NWR’s route to �inally winning the league title that they’ve narrowly missed out on for the last few years. A great start to the season for the Newcastle girls, a true testament to the quality of the coaching and commitment of the team.

Upcoming fixtures

2 Nov Northumbria 9 Nov Teeside 16 Nov Leeds 23 Nov Sheffield 30 Nov Liverpool JM 7 Dec Teeside 25 Jan Chester

Hector Hall gets stuck in against Leeds as the Mens firsts record their second straight draw.

Photography: Moises Bedrossian