Courier 1348

www.thecourieronline.co.uk Monday 13 March 2017 Issue 1348 Free

Science Feature: Artificial Intelligence ananlysed like never before, p. 32

The Independent Voice of Newcastle Students

UNFORGETTABLE MISTAKE The Moonlight mix-up mystery examined in all of its glory, p. 26

Est 1948

ARTSY STUDENT SPOTLIGHT

A look into the work of a student writer, surfer and photographer, p. 20 Image: Chloe Burton

New Union Officers announced

By Jade Holroyd Editor

On Friday 10 March the new Sabbatical Officer team was revealed in Venue, the Students’ Union. This team will succeed the current Sabbatical Officers in July and be responsible for leading Newcastle University Students’ Union (NUSU) during the 2017/18 academic year.

The winners are: Ronnie Reid as President of the Students’ Union, Rowan South as Education Officer, Sarah Craggs as Welfare & Equality Officer, James Sproston as Editor of The Courier, Rebecca Bainbridge as Activities Officer and Clara Pettitt as Athletics Union Officer.

22 candidates ran across the six positions this year, as opposed to the 23 candidates who ran last year.

Ronnie Reid led the Presidential race from the first round with 1345 votes in the initial stage, which put him 269

votes ahead of his closest competitor, Harry Young. During the three stages of redistribution, Harry Young gained some ground but could not catch Ronnie Reid. The final vote count stood at a victorious 1663 votes for Ronnie Reid.

Ronnie Reid was unable to attend the event as he was due to run a marathon in Barcelona. Speaking after the event, he said: “I’m absolutely delighted to have been elected President of NUSU for the next academic year. I am extremely excited to undertake the role, and I would like to thank those who ran the elections, the other excellent candidates and of course all of those who put their faith in me.”

Although there were only two candidates running for Education Officer, competition remained high.

Ultimately, Rowan South won the vote with 1323 votes against competitor Liam Day’s 1290 votes.

Commenting on his victory, Rowan South said: “It’s taken a while to sink in but now that it has, I’m very excited

have been able to do it without the help of my campaigns team. I’m really looking forward to getting started on the job and working with all the other fantastic candidates.”

There were three candidates running for the position of Welfare & Equality Officer, all of whom have been heavily involved with the Students’ Union throughout their time at University. Sarah Craggs took a substantial lead of 700 votes from the very first round however it was not until round three that she reached the quota to confirm her win. Sarah Craggs took the victory and the final result of the Welfare & Equality ballot stood at 1700 votes for Sarah Craggs, with Andrew Lister in second place with 1009 votes.

The position of Editor of The Courier

“I am extremely excited to undertake the role, and I would like to thank those who ran the elections, the other excellent candidates and of course all of those who put their faith in me” for what lies ahead. Election week was one of the most stressful yet rewarding experiences of my life and I wouldn’t

had the most competitors for a position this year, with five hopeful candidates.

The competition for this position was very close from the beginning with only 76 votes separating the top three candidates. The result was not achieved until the fifth round of voting in which current Sports Editor, James Sproston, was elected with 937, with his closest rival, Ruth Loeffler, receiving 937.

Speaking on the evening, James Sproston said: “Thank-you to everybody for voting and a big thanks to my girlfriend. Just thank-you to everybody!”

The battle for Activities Officer was by far the most competitive of all the ballots this year. Charlie Mason led by 43 votes at stage one and led through the next two rounds. It was in the final distribution of votes, when candidate Amy Fok was eliminated, that Rebecca Bainbridge stole the victory from Charlie by 27 votes.

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News

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NEWS

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NCL Dance present ‘Can’t stop the feeling’ Awardwinning poet to join School of English

Monday 13 March 2017

The Courier

Deputy Editors Ollie Burton & Daniel Robertson News Editors Liam Carson, Valentina Egorova, Louise Hall Kotryna Kairytė & Helena Vesty

The Big Questions addressed tricky questions in Newcastle

COMMENT

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Stamping out sexual harrassment

CULTURE

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Blind Date:

Arthur and Hannah

Spring style icon: Nina Dobrev The Big Questions Image: Chris Middleton

Music Review: Gang Signs & Prayer TV Review: Gogglebox Gaming Review: Breath of the Wild Mythbusters: Sleep and swallowing spiders

By Chris Middleton The BBC’s Sunday morning ethics and faith debate programme, The Big Questions, came to Newcastle last week, offering both students and residents the chance to weigh in on important issues.

The show was hosted from Northumbria University Students’ Union and went out live to the Sunday morning BBC audience. Hosted by a journalist and presenter Nicky Campbell, the show featured three main areas of debate, with each topic given roughly twenty minutes of debate by the panel and audience.

There were twelve guest speakers in total, representing various sides of each debate, while the audience were allowed to pitch in from time to time.

The first debate surrounded the issue of sex education in the school curriculum and at what age it is appropriate to start teaching children about these con-

NUSU, King’s Walk, Newcastle upon Tyne, NE1 8QB. Tel: 0191 239 3940

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cepts.

Lynette Smith, founder of BigTalk Education, explained the way in which her team delivers this kind of education to children in order to teach them age-appropriate sex information and prevent against child sexual abuse.

The second topic for debate was individual privacy and the role of police in monitoring and storing information about individuals. The debate was lively with strong points about personal freedom made by ex-policeman turned bodylanguage expert Darren Stanton and Liberal Democrat Lord, Paul Scriven.

The final debate was the broadest and

centred on the role of the church in allowing contraception to help lower the human birth rate. This was expanded to a debate about overpopulation in general and the role of humans in destroying wildlife and pillaging the world’s resources.

While the topics were varied and interesting, there simply wasn’t enough time to address all of the issues. Megan Doherty is a Newcastle Un i v e r s it y student and she told The Courier: “I thought it was interesting, but only six people from the crowd got to say anything and there was a lot of focus on the first topic.”

“The Big Questions came to Newcastle offering both students and residents the chance to weigh in on important issues”

Editor Jade Holroyd Deputy Editors Ollie Burton and Daniel Robertson News Editors Liam Carson Valentina Egorova, Louise Hall, Kotryna Kairytė and Helena Vesty Comment Editors Jamie Cameron, Sinéad Corkett-Beirne and Sunil Nambiar Culture Editors Jack Oliver Parker and James McCoull Lifestyle Editors Ana Beretsos, Antonia Coleman-Harvey, Ruth Loeffler and Brooklyn Shakeshaft Ward Fashion Editors Liz Rosling, Izzi Watkins and Zofia Zwieglinska Beauty Editors Miranda Stoner, Ellie Trent and Ellen Walker Arts Editors Johnathan Hastings, Meg Holtom and Tamsin Rees Music Editors Sophie Ahmed, Serena Bhardwaj and Ben Grundy Film Editors Emma Allsopp, Zoë Godden and Simon Ramshaw TV Editors Luke Acton, Dominic Corrigan and Alison Scurfield Gaming Editors Errol Kerr, Jared Moore and Jordan Oloman Science Editors Matthew Byrne, Natalie Farmer and Ciara RitsonCourtney Sports Editors Lucy Brogden, Tom Shrimplin and James Sproston

Some students were given the opportunity to work with the BBC crew behind the scenes and had a first-hand look at what goes into making a live show for TV. Juan Trillos is studying an MA in Journalism at Newcastle University and he said: “My experience at the Big Questions TV show was quite interesting.

Although I have already worked in the media industry in Colombia, my country, this was my first experience behind the scenes in a TV show.”

For Juan, the most interesting aspect was learning the technical side of production.

“We were taught how to use a camera during a live TV show, how to make good TV shots, how to zoom and focus, and learned which are the main roles of an editor, producer, director and a sound engineer.”

BBC’s The Big Questions is broadcast at 10am every Sunday from different locations around the UK.

The Courier is printed by: Print and Digital Associates, Fernleigh House, 10 Uttoxeter Road, Derby, Derbyshire, United Kingdom, DE3 0DA. Established in 1948, The Courier is the fully independent student newspaper of the Students’ Union at Newcastle University. The Courier is published weekly during term time, and is free of charge.

The design, text, photographs and graphics are copyright of The Courier and its individual contributors. No parts of this newspaper may be reproduced without the prior permission of the Editor. Any views expressed in this newspaper’s opinion pieces are those of the individual writing, and not of The Courier, the Students’ Union or Newcastle University.

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Monday 13 March 2017

Amnesty International Soc celebrates IWD

By Beth Stevens International Women’s Day, an annual event that’s been observed since the early 1900’s, was celebrated around the world on Wednesday 8th March.

It is an annual celebration of the economic, political and social achievements of women around the world and aims to tackle the inequalities that women still face.

Key areas that IWD is aimed to address includes challenging bias and inequality, campaigning against violence and for equal education, forging women’s advancement, celebrating women’s achievements.

The annual worldwide event, is not affiliated with any one organisation, but brings together various charities, businesses and governments.

Here at Newcastle University, Amnesty International Society and Women for Women Society teamed up to celebrate women’s achievements and to call for an end to gender inequalities.

They focused on female leadership figures and the gender pay gap as well as the general concept of feminism.

Members of Amnesty International Society and Women for Women Society ran a stall outside of Students’ Union, which hosted a bake sale, informative leaflets, posters, and a collection box for hygiene products for women.

They also provided an interactive activity, where passers by could get involved and contribute their ideas of what women’s rights means to them, and also have a photograph taken of them holding a ‘This is what a feminist looks like’ photo frame.

Natasha Chalk, president of the Women for Women society, said: “IWD is crucial- there are still so many challenges that women all over the world face. Women for Women International directly targets women in countries of conflict - supporting and helping these women recover from violence, persecution and helping them become economically independent. IWD is a vital tool for us to go that bit further and highlight the importance of women in ALL our societies and the deep connections we share as women in the 21st Century.

paign) and #internationalwomensday, encouraged a high level of awareness across the region through social media.

The students also managed to raise over £100 in cake sales. Sophie Glover, president for Amnesty International Society was pleased with their success, saying: “it was great to see so many people willing to bring cakes and getting generally involved in the day”.

Amnesty International will receive half, which will go towards general human rights campaigns, whilst the other half will be sent to Women for Women, who provide support and valuable skills training for women around the world affected by conflict and war.

Glover suggested that International Women’s Day is still a fundamental event for women to “show support for, and raise awareness of, women’s rights issues and to fight gender inequality, not just in this country, but globally”.

Glover was referring to worldwide issues such as the high percentage of girls without access to education, forced marriage and motherhood, FGM and the lack of females in leadership roles.

However, the stall maintained a positive and empowering atmosphere, with images of successful and powerful women such as Ellie Simmonds, Emma Watson and Michelle Obama, and the day followed a series of social media posts including empowering quotes and images of women such as Malala Yousafzai, Lupita Nyong’o and Angelina Jolie.

Glover described the day as a huge success, and said it was “a great opportunity to celebrate the achievements of women and their contributions to society”.

“Amnesty International Society and Women for Women Society teamed up to celebrate women’s achievements and call for an end to gender inequalities” The stall was extremely successful and we raised money towards both Amnesty international and WFF international.

What was the encouraging aspect was the amount of men who came along and had their photo taken in support of women all over the world. It was a fantastic platform to talk about feminism and clear up stereotypes around its meaning and significance.”

With the plan to gain a big social media presence, the societies collaborated with York and Durham universities that where hosting similar events at their respective campuses.

Uploading collages of photographs from the day, all with the shared hashtags #beboldforchange (International Women’s Day campaign), #wewontwait (Amnesty International cam-

Kaneez Shaid: be proud of who you are

By Valentina Egorova News Editor

Kaneez Shaid Image: Kaneez Shaid

“Continue to stand up against all forms of injustice,” says Kaneez Shaid. “If you do not act, then who will? If not now, then when?”

Kaneez Shaid, Member of the Order of the British Empire (MBE) and Chair of Trustees of Citizens UK, came to Newcastle to share her story and inspire others to tackle social injustice.

Shaid gave a joint lecture with Vera Baird, Police and Crime Commissioner for Northumbria and former Solicitor General for England and Wales, in which they explored identities of citizenship and equality that are forged in the public spaces of civil society.

The event, which took place last Thursday in Curtis Auditorium, was part of Insights Public Lectures and cosponsored by the Royal Geographical Society.

Shaid told The Courier that she hopes her story will show why the model of community organising is “a powerful method of coming together for social justice”.

She said: “Citizens UK model of community organising offers a powerful platform for those who feel powerless.

CUK provides citizens the training and the tools to bring about the change they want to see.”

Shaid pointed to a growing tide of anti-Muslim sentiments on the streets, following 9/11 and 7/7 terrorist attacks,

and urged to address issues around extremism.

She called Muslims to face up to social injustice and challenge the assumptions that damage “the common good” by “building strong relationships within families and society”.

Shaid herself has been falling a victim to Islamophobic behaviour in a workaday life. She has been called a terrorist at a petrol station; she has been asked by a colleague why her “religion was advocating the killing of other humans”.

“There is zero difference between Muslim values and British values” “Underground I experienced passengers physically getting up and moving away from me.”

She added: “There is zero difference between Muslim values and British values. Be proud of who you are.”

The lecture, which was held the following day after International Women’s Day (IWD), also addressed the underrepresentation of women in public service.

Dr Helen Jarvis, Reader in Urban Social Geography, said: “Since the Tyneside Geographical Society began in 1887, the most frequently cited highlights are lectures by Captain Scott in 1904 and Winston Churchill in 1932.

“Lost in the hundreds of men’s names listed in this Attendance Book are a handful of inspirational women and, regrettably, far too few representing contemporary experience.”

Asked what International Women’s Day meant for her, Shaid said: “My public and private life full of examples of very powerful women role-models who work hard everyday on what they passionately believe in.

“On a day like IWD, I take a moment to reflect on all those wonderful women who inspire me - including women leaders in the community, amazing women leaders within Citizens UK and on our board of Citizens UK’s trustees; my female work colleague and, of course, within my own family - particularly, my devoted mother and two incredibly affectionate sisters.”

She thanked the many women in this country who had stood up against gender inequality, “because of their bravery, women in Britain are stronger, empowered and protected by our legal system.”

She added: “I was once asked at a job interview with a construction company how I would cope with managing men and would I not find them intimidating.

I remember feeling quite determined in my response in reassuring them that no man had ever intimidated me.

“All women are successful. Women are also given a special role assigned to them as sisters, wives and mothers. Indeed, in Islam, we believe that ‘paradise lived under the feet of your mother.”

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Monday 13 March 2017

The Courier

NUSU Dance Society present ‘Can’t stop the feeling’

By Charlotte Astley It’s once again that time of year when Newcastle Dance Society take over Northern Stage to give you their student led production Dancefest.

“Can’t Stop The Feeling” is presented in 3 performances over 2 days; Friday 17th March at 7pm, Saturday 18th March at 2pm and at 7pm.

This weekend marks the most exciting event in the dance society calendar, promising to present a wonderful selection of dance masterpieces, from jazz to tap, ballet to street and many more. Members are ready to take to the stage to showcase what they can do, having given up their precious time attending classes and learning choreography for this one moment to shine and sparkle on stage! On top of this, the society shows off their competition dances, which have been incredibly successful throughout this academic year, winning a total of 18 trophies for Newcastle University.

Annabelle Spencer, the Show Coordinator told us “This is my third and final dance show at Newcastle University and I’m super excited about our upcoming

show” She also explained how it was the 10th anniversary of the society. 10 Years of Dance at Newcastle, 10 years of enthusiastic committee members and of course 10 years of fabulous presidents all of which have resulted in numerous grand achievements.

A few of these include, being runner up in the National Society Awards 2016 and also winning Best Society Event for Newcastle Competition 2016, not to mention the countless number of trophies gained at competitions around the country across the decade.

These achievements have contributed to the extraordinary growth of the society, bringing the total members to a high of 400 this year.

For those of you who wish to bag a seat, tickets are available at the Northern Stage box office and on their website. So if you fancy an evening of jazz hands and sass, you are interested in seeing what our society is all about or simply want to watch your friendlings dancing their socks off, then please come along and bring your fellow house-mates, course-mates, siblings, whoever! It is for sure a show for all the family and it’s certainly sure to be a good’en this year.

“This weekend marks the most exciting event in the dance society calendar, promising to present a wonderful selection of dance masterpieces, from jazz to tap and ballet to street”

The ballet group practice ahead of the event Image: Katherine Smith

The Courier

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Monday 13 March 2017

The election results analysed Officer.

The Part-Time Officer positions of Chair of Council and International Students’ Officer were the only ballots to have multiple candidates. The candidates standing for Chair of Council were Errol Kerr and William Horseman. The candidates standing for International Students’ Officer were Sneha Vincent and Ciara Henderson.

Errol Kerr, who currently shares the Part-Time Officer position of Students with Disabilities Officer with Daniel Wood, commented on his victory as Chair of Council for the 2017/17 Academic year on social media to his campaigns team, stating: “It’s been a long and taxing week but your work all paid off - I have been elected to Chair of Union Council starting in September! I couldn’t have done this without your help. Thank-you to my campaigns team for being amazing, endlessly supportive, and suggesting so many awful photoshop ideas. I’m so glad the public will never see me as a doge meme.

Shoutout to William Horseman for a nice clean, meme-filled campaigns week!”

International Students’ Officer for 2016/17 and now 2017/18, Sneha Vincent took to social media shortly after her victory, posting: “WON THE ELECTIONS!!!! A massive thank-you to everyone who helped and supported my campaign.”

The vote to change the name of the Students’ Union bar, which is currently entitled ‘Mens Bar’, also ran alongside the elections. Students could vote on the names ‘Luther’s’, ‘The Cross & Lion’ and ‘Aelius’. Following the ballot, the new name for the bar is set to be ‘Luther’s’. Speaking on behalf of the current Sabbatical Officers, Athletic Union Officer, Sophie Matthews said: “We are very pleased with the outcome and we can’t wait to see the name change happen officially shortly.”

President

(Continuedfrom page 1) When asked how she felt, Rebecca Bainbridge said: “I am over the moon and completely shocked by the result! The three other candidates lead strong campaigns and I’m extremely grateful for all of the support I have received from friends and voters.”

In the Athletic Union ballot, Clara Pettitt led from the beginning with Peter Mairs in second place. Although there were four candidates running for this position, the fight for victory remained between Clara Pettitt and Peter Mairs throughout. The final result stood at 1261 votes for Clara Pettitt, and 1174 for Peter Mairs.

Clara Pettitt stated: “Elections week was one of the most unreal things I have ever done. I had the best time and met some lovely people. Winning was something else; it was such a surprise and I don’t think it has really hit me yet that I’ve actually won. I couldn’t be more thankful to everyone that voted and helped me with my campaign. I can’t wait to start the job and work alongside the rest of the team.”

The March 2017 Elections also saw the election of the Part-Time Officer team for the 2017/18 academic year. This team is made up of nine different positions and alike the Sabbatical Officers, the Part-Time Officers are elected every year. All Part-Time Officer positions held candidates apart from the role of Racial Equality Officer.

The victors are: Errol Kerr as Chair of Council, Sneha Vincent as International Students Officer, Hannah Fitzpatrick as LGBT+ Officer, Emily Sherwood as Marginalised Genders Officer, Emma Dawson as Scrutiny Officer, Holly Waddell as Parents Guardians and Carers Officer, Zoe Godden as Students with Disabilities Officer and Hasham Gill as Students with Faith or Belief

Education Officer

“I couldn’t be more thankful to everyone that voted and helped me with my campaign.

I can’t wait to start the job and work alongside the rest of the team”

Welfare & Equality

AU Officer

Editor of The Courier

Activities Officer The Single Transferable Voting system explained

The single transferable vote system aims to award the job to the candidate with the broadest support and eliminate a need for tactical voting. Voters rank the candidates, with their first preference given a number one, their second choice a number two and so on. The candidate with the fewest first-place votes is eliminated and their votes are redistributed according to their voters’ second choices. This process is repeated until only one candidate remains: the winner.

6.news

Monday 13 March 2017

The Courier

University receives funding for infrastructure development

By Grace Dean Newcastle University has been awarded funding to improve the resilience of the UK’s urban infrastructure while saving costs for the country.

The University has become a member of the UK Collaboratorium for Research on Cities and Infrastructure (UKCRIC), which aims to tackle the problems of “fragmented and under-resourced” research by developing new technologies, processes and materials that can be used on the road, rail and water networks.

The UKCRIC is supported by the Engineering and Physical Sciences Research Council (EPSRC), who have invested £125 million in it, to make a total investment of more than £216.6 million, and aims to be “world class”.

Professor Richard Dawson, Chair of Earth Systems Engineering, Newcastle University, said: “Collectively these UKCRIC investments will create an internationally unique facility that will give us a detailed, holistic picture of the relationships between the infrastructure in our city and the pressures put on it by people and the environment. In the long-run,

this will help us make more informed decisions about how best to manage our cities and their infrastructure for future generations.”

As part of UKCRIC, most of Newcastle University’s research will be based at the new £58 million Urban Sciences Building at Science Central.

This building will open in Autumn 2017 and will contain the Newcastle Urban Observatory, the National Urban Water Infrastructure Laboratory and an Electric Vehicle Filling Station Research Facility.

More information about the building, including a virtual tour, is available on the Newcastle University website.

The University will receive more than £10 million from UKCRIC to develop the National Urban Water Infrastructure Laboratory, which is being developed in conjunction with two other UKCRIC Urban Water Innovation & Test Facilities in Cranfield and Sheffield.

The Laboratory will carry out research into urban flood management with the aim of developing new procedures that increase the long-term performance and serviceability of water infrastructure to control and reduce the impacts of extreme weather events.

One method for this that is being investigated by UKCRIC is integrating

“This will help us make more informed decisions about how best to manage our cities and their infrastructure for future generations”

Newcastle Science City Image: Andrew Curtis flood management technologies with other smart technologies to improve overall infrastructure.

Other research that will be in the National Urban Water Infrastructure Laboratory includes developing more cost-effective and environmentallyfriendlier methods of water treatment and pilot testing smart water management systems.

In addition, the University is using

UKCRIC funding to develop an Electric Vehicle Filling Station Research Facility, which will be located at Science Central and allows cars to be re-charged in just twenty minutes.

This is being developed in conjunction with the University’s £20m National Centre for Energy Systems Integration.

A core philosophy of the Collaboratorium is trying to achieve a sustainable balance by developing infrastructure

that is effective and resilient whilst also being good value for money, as it is estimated that currently inadequate infrastructure costs the UK £2 million a day.

The UKCRIC consists of 14 universities and partner organisations and therefore is a centralised group that combines a range of academia, industry, Government, citizens and investors, allowing all their interests to be expressed.

The Courier

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Monday 13 March 2017

Award-winning poet joins University’s English School

By Yoana Cholteeva Sinéad Morrissey, a celebrated poet born in Northern Ireland, just embraced her new position as a Professor of Creative Writing in the School of English Language, Literature and Linguistics at Newcastle University.

Sinéad Morrissey is the author of five collections of poetry, winning TS Eliot Prize in 2013 with her most recent work, Parallax.

In a review for The Guardian, Parallax was seen as ‘’a book that reveals an interest of multiple senses – photographic, philosophical and political’’. And according to Paul Batchelor, her poems “come to us with the intimacy of whispered secrets.”

“I am looking forward to being part of such a dynamic and distinguished creative writing teaching team, and to playing a leading role in the future development of the Newcastle Centre for the Literary Arts,” Ms Morrissey said to the University’s Press Office.

She is a third winner of TS Eliot Prize to the university staff, along with Jacob Polley, who won this year for Jackself, and Professor Sean O’Brien – his The Drowned Book took top honours in 2007.

Dr James Annesley, Head of the School of English Language, Literature and Linguistics said: “This is a great day for our school and the University, and I couldn’t be more delighted to be welcoming Sinéad.”

The work of Morrissey has received a huge appreciation including the Patrick Kavanagh Award (of which she was the youngest ever winner), the Michael Hartnett Prize and the Irish Times/Poetry Now Award.

In 2007 she took first prize in the National Poetry Competition with ‘Through the Square Window’, a poem that depicts an image of the dead gathering outside a window with that of a child sleeping peacefully indoors.

In 2015 she became a laureate in the Durham Book Festival. In her final selection of poems there Morrissey used different voices, from Sherlock Holmes to a character in Vanity Fair to her coal mining grandfather.

Born in Northern Ireland and raised in Belfast, she got her further education at Trinity College, Dublin, then travelled and lived in Japan and New Zealand before returning to her birthplace. In 2002 she was appointed Writer in Residence at Queen’s University Belfast, and she is currently Reader in Creative Writing at the Seamus Heaney Centre for Poetry at Queen’s.

Morrissey’s work can be recognized by her approach to wide-ranging subjects, which is brought out by her soft yet intense reading style. She creates intimate poems touching on family and motherhood, as well as multi-dimensional features.

“I am looking forward to being part of such a dynamic and distinguished creative writing teaching team”

Sidnéad Morrissey at Durham Book Festival Image: summonedbyfells @ Flicker

Brexit and the Higher Education discussion

By Ava Forbes Senior figures from North Eastern and Scottish universities have attended a government held meeting to discuss the impact that exiting the European Union will have on higher education.

Shirley Atkinson, vice-chancellor at Sunderland University; Professor Tony Stevenson, deputy vice-chancellor at Newcastle University; Professor Andrew Wathey CBE, vice-chancellor at Northumbria; Alastair Sim, director of Universities Scotland; and Dr Peter Simpson, director of the N8 Research Partnership met with the government’s Education Committee at Northumbria University on Tuesday.

The meeting was the last of three held by the government with universities across the country to aid Brexit negotiations.

Sitting on the committee was Chair, Neil Carmichael MP (Conservative); MP for Newcastle North, Catherine McKinnell (Labour), Marion Fellows MP (SNP); Lillian Greenwood MP (Labour); and William Wragg MP (Conservative).

Professor Wathey CBE highlighted that nationwide, there had been a 7% drop in applications from the European Union for 2017 entry. Despite this Wathey stated that Northumbria University was “bucking the trend” reporting a 39% increase in EU applicants during the same period.

Sunderland saw a decrease of 7-8% at University of Sunderland, in line with the national average according to

Shirley Atkinson. Despite this, Sunderland accepted more European students than they had done in previous years, Atkinson told the committee.

Scotland also saw a decrease in applications, 5% down from the previous year.

Shirley Atkinson said: “We have a decline in international students, with 43 universities recording lower number of applications from EU countries. There will also be a decline from after Brexit happens: students not being able to access student loan support, so a contraction there in a period when we have a significant democratic decline in the UK among 18 year-olds.”

Dr Peter Simpson suggested: “It is worth pointing out that the vast majority of the international students are not from the EU, and therefore, to some extent not directly affected by Brexit, but the tone and the language that is being used will cause them to think twice and thrice as to whether they want to come to study in the UK.” Atkinson also suggested that: “There is a wider issue about reputation of British universities in the world now as a result of the Brexit vote. Unfortunately, it is being played back in some quarters as Britain not being open and prepared to share, not interested in having mobility of students or staff, and the longer-term implications of that kind of reputational damage needs to be picked up.”

The content of all three meetings will be compiled into a report which will be released by the government in the near future.

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NEWSTACK Glasgow

Chancellor Yiannopoulos?

Glasgow University is facing backlash this week following their decision to nominate former Breitbart editor, Milo Yiannopoulos, for the position of Chancellor. Among 12 nominees, Yiannopoulos is renowned for his controversial, anti-immigration rhetoric, having also permanently banned from Twitter in recent months.

Feminist and Psychology Societies, along with a number of other groups, have launched a campaign against the

media personality, who has previously been described by The Independent as an “’alt-right’ figurehead”. However, those hoping to prevent his appointment are faced with keen opposition, as the Facebook page ‘Milo for Rector - University of Glasgow’ has gained over 3,000 likes. Hustings are scheduled to take place on the 16th of March, with Yiannopoulos commenting that he would be “investigating whether a trip to Glasgow is feasible”.

Oxford

“Study drug” workshops added to support services Oxford University Student Union has introduced workshops for the discussion of ‘smart’ or ‘study’ drugs, aiming to promote alternative “safe and sustainable solutions” for students who partake in the substances. This follows the implementation of similar sessions at Exeter College in recent years, where Reverend Andrew Allen led workshops to provide support and information for those who may turn to the drugs as a method of dealing with their academic pressures. This is seen to be a particular-

ly important development, as a survey conducted by student newspaper, Cherwell, revealed that out of a total of 662 responses, 15.6 percent of students have taken a study drug. Allen applauded the other College’s decision to make similar additions to their welfare support, suggesting that expanding the conversation around drug use in education may help raise awareness and understanding of the reasons why some students choose to use substances such as Modafinil, Ritalin and Adderall.

Cardiff Metropolitan

Controversial ban is possible threat to free speech Cardiff Metropolitan University has faced criticism over its decision to ban 34 phrases such as “right-hand man” and “gentleman’s agreement”, in an attempt to adopt gender-neutral language and to become more inclusive overall.

Disciplinary procedures for the use of the prohibited terms by students and staff will be implemented, however this has caused outcry from a number of sources, suggesting that the ban will

prevent people from exercising their free speech. A spokesperson for Cardiff Metropolitan addressed the allegations, saying “the University is committed unreservedly to the principle of academic freedom within the law”, whilst also being committed to “providing an environment where everyone is valued and treated with dignity and respect, citing the British Sociological Association’s information on Equality and Diversity.

Cambridge

Water Foul

Human-Geese relations have descended into turmoil at Cambridge University.

Students of the university recently sent an impassioned letter quoting Gandhi to Phillip Isaac, the Domus Bursar, asking for a motion of peace. Cambridge has a growing goose problem, with their current gaggle growing at an alarming rate.

The university believe it’s a health and safety concern, and that due to the amount of grass they eat and the amount of poop they produce they should be culled, but the students don’t

agree!

Cambridge has considered alternatives like an audio box playing the sound of a strangled goose every hour, or mounting a laser on top of its buildings to deter their approach. Further, the idea of cardboard wolf cut-outs was raised, but that seemed like it would just create humour.

We hope that Cambridge staff and students can come to a resolve about this waterfowl issue.

By Helena Vesty & Jordan Oloman News & Gaming Editors

Comment 10.

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Monday 13 March 2017

The Courier

Comment Editors Jamie Cameron, Sinéad CorkettBeirne & Sunil Nambiar courier.comment@ncl.ac.uk | @Courier_Comment

Let the Sun set on the British Empire

Sarah Davis argues the public has romanticised the British Empire, and that we should be more realistic about our past Whilst procrastinating over the endless heap of dissertation work piling up on my desk, I began watching the widely televised political debating show Question Time, where one audience member, speaking on Brexit exclaimed: “for thousands of years Britain has ruled in a wonderful way, we have been a light to the world!”

Colonial achievements and negligence have been hot topics of discussion for decades, however is there throughout the problem with educating young children the true nature of colonial exploits?

“We have been taught too little to make a valid judgment’’

In a recent interview conducted by Jon Snow part of Channel 4 News, Shashi Tharoor proclaimed that Britons suffer “historical amnesia” over the atrocities incited by the British Empire. The former under-secretary for the UN, and current Indian MP and author declared the British education system had failed to enlighten children as to the awareness of the despoliations of colonialism, he pronounced: “the fact you don’t teach colonial history in schools, children doing A-Levels in history don’t learn a line of colonial history.” In his latest book, Inglorious Empire: What the British

Did For India, Tharoor argues that many of the modernising developments made by the Empire were not made to benefit India but for the sole purpose of the British core; the untold story of the Empire was one of robbery, murder and exploitation of wealth.

“A Yougov survey... found that 44% of the sample were proud of Britain’s past colonisation’’ While the history of colonial wealth extraction remains vital to the British ascent of the financial ladder, it remains a subject very much absent from the British education curriculum.

It seems the histories of Henry VIII and the Battle of Britain trump historical recollections of India and the Caribbean.

Does this symbolize an inherent issue with racial

and ethnic histories still present within British education, or does it represent the English tendency to relinquish all responsibility for one’s actions? A YouGov survey conducted in 2016 found that 44 per cent of the sample were proud of Britain’s past colonisation, and only 21 per cent regretted actions of the Empire. A revision of the British History curriculum in 2013 promulgated even further emphasis on “British values”, and an in-depth knowledge on topics such as the Battle of Hastings and the Great Fire of London.

“We should not confuse history with nostalgia, it leads individuals to be ill-equipped’’ The main issue surrounding pride or ill feeling towards the Empire is that we have been taught too little to make a valid judgement. How can an adult

of just 18 years give a solid verdict on the actions of the British Empire when little information has been communicated in the class room? The British Empire has been boiled down to the abolition of slavery, the building of beneficial infrastructure in India and the spread of western culture to peripheral nations.

“The education system has certainly failed to provide an adequate, intelligent and unbiased approach to colonialism’’ We should not confuse history with nostalgia, it leads individuals to be ill-equipped to judge crucial societal questions surrounding integration and immigration; defying the knowledge and understanding of the atrocious colonial history of the British Empire feeds ambiguity. People of this country and the world should be absolutely clear of what our colonialism entailed, and what we can learn from it and avoid in the future. For the audience member of Question Time the education system has certainly failed to provide an adequate, intelligent and unbiased approach to colonialism, which has led to his rather romantic and idealistic view of the “Glorious British Empire”.

Durham drug policy leading the way?

Durham heroin addicts will be given supplies for supervised injections twice a day. Is harm minimisation the best policy?

George Heracleous

T

he announcement by Durham Police force to provide heroin addicts with both diamorphine and a safe place to inject is a sensible first step towards harm reduction that will ultimately save lives and reduce crime.

The statistics speak for themselves; the charitable think tank Transform states that no one has ever died of an overdose or contracted HIV at a supervised injection facility. However, the UK is still trailing behind our Western neighbours when it comes to prioritising evidence-based policy and leaving the failures of prohibition to the history books.

People have always used drugs and people will always use drugs. From coca leaf-chewing Amazonian tribespeople to coffee-drinking Starbucks hipsters, substance use has been an ordinary aspect of the human condition for thousands of years. However, in the UK alone, roughly 10% of 16-59 year olds have used illicit substances and this figure has stayed the same since 1996.

“By treating drug use as a public health issue instead of a criminal offence, users and their families will be protected from tragedy” Has England and Wales’ £2-4 billion yearly spending against drugs made an impact? It would appear not. My greatest concern about current drug legislation is the lack of research-led safety initiatives that acknowledge people will always use drugs and aim to make the process as safe as possible. By treating drug use as a public health issue instead of a criminal offence, users and their families will be protected from tragedy, whilst

the money saved from fighting non-violent drug crime can be directed into substance rehabilitation centres. However, a common misconception is that drug policy reform campaigners want an alcohol aisle shopping experience for drugs, with shelves lined by sachets of narcotics and ecstasy tablets.

Although slightly facetious, there is a serious point here. The reason the sale of drugs should be regulated is not because they are safe, but because their misuse can be so devastating.

“Following our Students for Sensible Drug Policy (SSDP) campaign... Newcastle University ditched their zero-tolerance stance on drug use” Sadly, the tragic deaths of 4 young men on a single night in December 2015 highlights the urgent need for, at the very least, drug testing facilities in nightclubs and festivals.

The global crackdown on MDMA precursors (the drug associated with ecstasy pills) has led to manufacturers using deadly analogues paramethoxymethylamphetamine (PMMA) and paramethoxyamphetamine (PMA) in its place. These toxic compounds can cause death at a much lower dose than MDMA whilst having a longer duration of onset, leading to individuals taking more in the false belief their

product is not working.

However, following our Students for Sensible Drug Policy (SSDP) campaign last year, Newcastle University ditched their zero-tolerance stance on drug use by allowing the sale of drug test kits through Student Services. Hopefully, this will prevent any avoidable drug deaths at our university, by giving students the choice to test their substances.

People are always going to use drugs. Our role as SSDP is to make drug use as safe as possible, by preventing unnecessary deaths.

Unfortunately, the passing of Theresa May’s ‘New Psychoactive Substances’ (NPS) legislation in April 2016 shows we have some way to go before UK drug policy is fit for purpose.

Dayam Ali

D

rugs, a topic that previously has been sacred to the wide world, but is now exposed to everyone in the modern era.

The reason I bring up drugs is because, recently it has been reported that heroin, a class A drug, has creeped its way into the city known for its impressive Cathedral. Yep you’ve guessed it, it’s Durham.

You may all be confused, and wondering what heroin and Durham have in common?

This brings me to my point, previously there has been heavy media coverage of Durham Council and Police

deciding to give heroin to drug addicts in a bid to decrease crime rates. Bizarre, right? An illegal drug capable of ruining lives is just being handed out to drug addicts? It may sound bad, but stick with me - there’s a reason why they’re doing this.

The Durham Police have begun giving medical grade heroin to addicted heroin users in a medically supervised place. This is so users can gradually get off the drug, and go back to their normal lives.

By giving the users heroin, they will be cutting down on crime as addicts won’t be going out of their way fund their addiction - to maybe steal money, rob someone, or something else. The best part is that the users will be supervised and will be taking a safe dosage from a clean needle, which may keep them away from the risk of getting diseases. So, is it a good idea?

The positive thing is, these types of schemes are not unusual and have been previously encountered before. In the 1960s, drugs such as heroin were given as a prescription - so the idea of safely giving addicts who desperately need it is not unusual.

Furthermore, it will certainly cut down crime levels.

“It is most definitely a momentary solution” On the other hand, the authority is still supplying class A drugs, with considerable downsides, to addicts. This may lead to the addicts being addicted even more, that it just becomes an excuse to get free heroin. They may take the dosage given by the authority and find their own as well, so it doesn’t stop the use of street drugs.

This may be the solution to the heroin addiction, but it is most definitely a momentary solution and will not be a permanent solution.

On paper, it seems like an idea that can be practical and successful but executing it can be difficult. Also, the major problem is crime, and this idea could most definitely cut down on crime rate, so I believe it can work.

comment .11

The Courier Monday 13 March 2017

Welcome to the unpromised land SOAPBOX Cvety Illieva addresses the crackdown on Eastern European immigrants coming to the UK

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nce upon a time, many Eastern Europeans fled their homes and conflict in search for a safer place to live.

Many opted for Britain, a rainy yet desirable kingdom that could guarantee shelter to those in need. Masses of refugees embarked upon a mission to reach this promised land, with some comprimising their land in the journey. The estimated number of Romanians and Bulgarians making this trip were in excess of 29 million.

That’s what the media would like you to believe, envisioning numerous aeroplanes lined up on the runway to transport them to safety. This would come at a cost to British citizens though, for it meant that they would take their jobs that ‘rightfully’ belonged to them. Nevertheless, the Kingdom opened its gates to welcome the courtiers of the European Union.

Back in 2013, the British press reported immigration furore surrounding Eastern European “hordes”, reportedly as a result of the lift on the employment restrictions previously imposed on them. Surprisingly or not, such floods failed to materialize. According to the figures, the number of Bulgarians and Romanians in the UK actually dropped by 3,000 people soon after the

visa restrictions were lifted. I’m sure you would have to finely toothcomb the Internet to find such statistics considering the media tend to exaggerate the amount of immigrants supposedly ‘flooding the country.’ It’s not just the press; politicians seem to be making such outlandish statements too. Look no further than Theresa May as an example, for she is paving the way to end the rights of EU citizens in being able to live and work in the UK. Not only this, but the number of refugees that the UK has taken in has reduced drastically.

It is bittersweet to watch history repeating itself. By bitter, I am referring to when Theresa May voiced her concerns in 2013 that half of the citizens from Bulgaria and Romania will move to the UK. Such a statement is not only absurd, but also downright arrogant. By sweet, I actually mean that it is naïve to assume that more than 29 million of people would abandon their families and homelands to live in a country whose Prime Minister so openly expresses their distaste for Bulgarians and Romanians.

Yet, if we are to believe that the Eastern Europeans do in fact feel the urge to flood the United Kingdom with their presence, let us look at the figures and calculate how such invasion would affect the

“...it is naïve to assume that more than 29 million of people would abandon their families and homelands to live in a country whose Prime Minister so openly expresses their distaste for Bulgarians and Romanians’’

But are Romanians and Bulgarians qualified enough? In 2011, 32% of the people from the European Economic Area (EEA) and 43% of those from outside of the region had a university degree, whereas for native Brits the percentage is 21%.

So, will Britain actually suffer from this invasion? You do the math.

Dare to stamp out sexual harassment

Amanda Yap explores ways to combat levels of sexual harrassment in UK universities

I

t is disconcerting when you pick up a freshlyprinted newspaper on a lazy Sunday morning and the title ‘Sexual Harassment at Epidemic Levels’ in UK Universities’ glares back at you, tauntingly and unabashedly.

We would have thought that UK universities are among the best in the world for their top-notch quality education and progressive mindsets, but underneath this veneer of seemingly well-practiced perfection, the numbers of sexual discrimination and harassment by university staff against other staff and students is on a rise and the question is why?

Universities, though classified as education hubs, are still organisations with rigid hierarchical order. To not disturb the neatness of the pecking order, UK universities have established a culture of ‘minding your own business’. This dangerous mindset of shoving away all responsibilities is the root of the problem, and because nobody is willing to seek justice, disciplinary action cannot be carried out. For those who have much to lose in career advancement or the threat of losing a degree

the student has worked so hard for, the school system makes a hasty and informal decision to stop this dirty secret from leaking out and spoiling the reputation of the university. Victims of sexual harassment are not provided enough concrete support from the university to prosecute these culprits. This only emboldens the culprit to do more, to the point when nothing can be kept under wraps any longer .

“Public shaming could be a form of deterrent for others who are attempting to take advantage of the weaker’’

The next logical solution would be to enforce a zero-tolerance policy on sexual harassment in the universities but I feel it goes deeper than that. It is to make a 180-degrees change in mindset, the leaders of the universities must be wholly supportive of stamping out this unethical act, encouraging their

staff to come forward with their experiences of sexual harassment in the universities through open-door policies or private meeting sessions.

After a thorough internal investigation, the culprit should be duly punished to the satisfaction of the victim to provide a warning to others who are thinking of exploiting their position to gain sexual gratification.

Public shaming could be a form of deterrent for others who are attempting to take advantage of the weaker party. The obvious outcome would be that shaming punishments will prevent people from violating regulations, by singling the bad apples it leads to greater cooperation among the team which will ultimately lead to a more effective university system.

After all, universities are supposed to be a safe environment where liberal knowledge breeds and there is an effective synergy between university staff and students.

Anything that threatens the cohesiveness of this well-oiled system should be snuffed out with immediate effect.

Let a woman be her woman; simple

Megan Thrall addresses the uproar following from Emma Watson’s new photo shoot

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ou may have heard that Emma Watson posed braless for Vanity Fair, so obviously she lost all of her feminist street cred.

This is the woman that wants equality and respect for women, and yet here she was, caving to the incessant demands of the patriarchy to sexualise herself and in turn sacrificing years of hard work, right? Except, in her own words, “I really don’t know what my tits have to do with it.”

From bra burnings in second wave feminism of the 1970’s to the Free the Nipple movement of today, women’s breasts have always had an MVP status in the fight for women’s rights. In our society, women are expected to be both beautiful and well-endowed, but not aware of those attributes if they want any measure of professional esteem or respect.

Following the backlash from her shoot with Vanity Fair, Watson came back with the same thing that’s been said for decades: feminism is about choice. At the core of it, feminism is the idea that women deserve equal rights as men – which really isn’t that radical of a concept – but the execution of it is where a lot of people get confused. It doesn’t mean that all women must dress in pantsuits and make their only goal in life climbing the corporate ladder. Feminism does not mean modest, professional, or tireless.

It means that Emma Watson deserves equal

pay for the work she does, and she still deserves basic human respect in every other aspect of her life, bra notwithstanding.

“Feminism is about choice’’ Of course, there is room for criticism in the regular hyper-sexualisation of women in magazines, with the decades-old debate of whether objectifying oneself is harmful or helpful to feminism being still without a clear answer. While showing a woman’s breasts in a

COMMENT’S HOME OF WEEKLY RANTS

country’s economy. As statistics show, recent immigrants from the European Economic Area (EEA) contributed on average 34% more taxes than they received as transfers.

magazine may be objectification, women are objectified walking down the street fully dressed on a regular basis, too. Objectification is a part of daily life for women and many view such objectified displays in media as the reclaiming of a sexuality women have been taught to be ashamed of, which would lend itself to the “helpful” column in the feminist debate.

The thing to remember here is what the woman wanted. Vanity Fair in particular has always had a habit of relying on underdressed women to make sales, which has caused controversy before. When Vanity Fair photographed then 15-year-old Miley Cyrus in nothing but a sheet, it was reported that Cyrus was embarrassed and had been misled.

However, there is a marked difference in these two photoshoots: Emma Watson is a grown woman, fully aware of her rights and her worth, and is able to make decisions regarding the representation of her own body.

So, what do tits have to do with it?

Everything, and absolutely nothing.

Everything because they are unfortunately the exclusionary hallmark of being a woman, and nothing because they have zero reflection on mental capacity or emotional endurance, or really do much of anything at all.

PANTS ON FIRE

L

Alexandra Sadler

ying. It’s one of the first things that we’re taught as children not to do, and yet why do our politicians and leaders continue to

lie?

How much can we trust our politicians if we’re not sure whether they’re being truthful, exaggerating, or just flat out lying? It would be reckless to insist that everyone tells the truth all of the time. In a way, lying is almost inherent in the world of politics. However, Trump seems to lie on a daily basis. During the EU Referendum, several spurious claims were made, ranging from promises about lessening immigration numbers, to the beginning of World War Three occurring.

Part of the power of falsehoods is that they’re often sensational, designed to stir up controversy and make the news. Although the shock factor is troublesome in itself, it’s when people begin to believe these ‘alternative facts’ that the issue really begins. Most people have been hooked by some scandalous story at some point of another in their life, despite facts offering another explanation.

Therefore, if we can’t prevent people believing these lies, perhaps we should start with the politicians spreading them?

REVERSE CELEBRATION

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Jack Oliver Parker

hy wouldn’t I support International Women’s day? Women have given us - amongst other things, the dishwasher, the security camera, the life raft as well as making some of the most profound contributions to civilisation that the world has ever seen.

The idea of confining their achievements to a single day each year is not only illogical and absurd, but is frankly insulting. Phenomena like this, ‘Black History month’, ‘LGBT week’ etc, are profoundly damaging to the way one views oneself as being part of a minority, and the way one is viewed by the rest of society - even though we might not realise it.

By creating ‘special’ days, weeks etc for minorities or underrepresented communities, we send a message that they are somehow worthy of ‘special’ treatment; different treatment. Nobody is, everyone is equal, and we cannot move on as a world unless we normalise being female, or black, or gay etc. as being nothing different and not worthy of any special attention or big celebration.

Stop this nonsense and celebrate women, and indeed everyone, no matter what their gender, sexuality, colour or creed, every day - not just once a year.

SPACE FILLING

C

Jamie Cameron

hances are if you’re reading this you’re not an editor. Actually scratch that, because who else even reads this damn paper?

Christ, I feel so unappreciated. Resigned to the lowly task of writing a tiny-sized Soapbox to fill up the left-over space. I spend 10 hours a week slaving over a mildly warm computer to deliver two juicy pages of student opinion, and for what?

You know all these headlines? These subheadlines too? All the writing on the page? Every space needs to be filled. Every space. If we lowly sub-editors don’t do it, the bosses make sarky remarks about us. I’m flesh and blood - this heart is not made of stone!

Oh look, one paragraph to go. I feel the tension subsiding. Sweet relief...

Culture

12.

thecourieronline.co.uk/culture

Quoted around the Toon

N

ear the end of summer 2014 I was hit by a van. I was cycling down a hill on a bright day and it turned and didn’t see me and hit me. It was ironic because it was a private ambulance turning into the private hospital and I resent them for not just taking me in. This is how it has been explained to me because I don’t remember anything about being hit or the ambulance or getting to the hospital. I was knocked out for about 30 seconds, but my short term memory clearly wasn’t working the way it was supposed to because I asked if it was Wednesday over ten times a friend later told me.

The first thing I remember saying to my friend at the hospital: ‘Is it Wednesday today?’ To which he laughed mostly because it was funny but also because it was unnerving, seeing as when I was like this was only when I was incredibly drunk, not with pretty deep cuts weeping all over my face. But that time I was sure that I was right and I laughed and didn’t ask again. It’s very easy to be funny and laugh in the hospital when you’re the one in there because everyone’s super tense and you have the license to make light of it. It’s better to as well because other wise it’s boring. Also being able to laugh at yourself is useful.

To the girls wearing flares and headbands.

STOP TRYING TO MAKE IT HAPPEN, IT’S NOT GOING TO HAPPEN

“It’s very easy to be funny and laugh in the hospital when you’re the one in there because everyone’s super tense and you have the license to make light of it”

‘‘ ‘‘ ‘‘

To the people who think geography is useless, you’d LITERALLY be lost without us.... #WhoMakesYourMaps?

Dear tribe of rah’s in CEG common room. My Greggs is delicious and looks way better than your Waitrose quinoa ugly health pot. Stop staring at me

‘‘

To the couples that argue in public - I hate you all with a passion People need to start to understand that although I’m wearing gym clothes, there’s a high chance that I will not be heading to the gym; not today, not tomorrow, not ever

I wish I could slap my first year self around the face a few times for thinking it was O.K. to queue for so long just to get in Digi Mondays

‘‘

To Trop, or not to Trop - That is the question

I’ll be glad when the puffa jacket craze is over, there ain’t nothing sexy about those things

I can’t believe how intelligent I thought I was before I came to Uni, oh how very wrong I was...At I haven’t been a disappointment to my parents my whole life. I gave them 18 years of happiness at least.

I think I’m great fun. I’d definitely want to be friends with myself if I wasn’t myself

Culture Editors: James McCoull & Jack Oliver Parker Sections: Lifestyle, Fashion, Beauty, Arts, Music, Film, TV, Gaming & Science courier.culture@ncl.ac.uk | @CourierOnline

Three years ago, Luke Acton nearly died. Now he tells his story exclusively for The Courier

Spotted a 10/10 brunette in Robbo on Friday, seemed to be studying Maths...

Not being obtuse, but you’re acute girl ;)

The other day I saw a guy walking around the centre of town in a pair of socks and sandals.

Socks and sandals are never O.K., but the fact we’re only in March makes the sin far worse...

The Courier

My brush with death

Find out what’s been going doon in the Toon with The Courier’s list of the best, the worst and the downright dodgiest quotes of the week

‘‘

Monday 13 February 2017

I’ve been in the hospital a couple of times for an arm I’ve broken twice so I wasn’t too worried about what happened and my parent and friends were there. Which was weird when I questioned it because how did they find out? A guy on a bus told a

person who told my friends that they saw someone who at least looked a lot like me all bloody and shit.

“The first thing I saw when I came out of the blackout stage was one of my friends drinking milk from one of those single pint cartons that you get from the garage”

So they went to the nearest hospital and asked for me and it turned out that they got there before the ambulance did, sleuths. The first thing I saw when I came out of the blackout stage was one of my friends drinking milk from one of those single pint cartons that you get from the garage.

A friend was at his grandma’s house when he found out and she was convinced that I was dead and prayed for me which was surreal when I found out because it’s weird to think that someone actually thought I was dead.

Then they strapped my head into these foam bricks to immobilise my neck and give me an MRI to see if there was any damage, which there wasn’t so that was good. Then I was discharged from the emergency room and went to a different emergency room to get stiches, which took less time than you would think because I was still very covered in blood and everyone said that I should just go first.

My two biggest regrets apart from having the actual accident is that I didn’t get any gnarly pictures of me all bloodied up and I didn’t keep the tshirt I was wearing, which was a really nice thick cotton one. My t-shirt actually looked so punk rock because of the rips and blood stains. It’s a shame that I didn’t get to keep it but hey, at least I’m okay.

Go mental for lentils A hearty warming stew, Lifestyle’s queen of veggie cooking Hope Coke shows us how

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his is good as a main dish or works well alongside a stew or curry, with mellow spices that are good on their own but can still stand out when paired with other flavours. Puy lentils have a slightly peppery flavour which I really like, but if you can’t find them then any dark lentils should do.

As for the pine nuts, I know nuts can be a bit pricey so leave them out if you want but a small packet shouldn’t set you back too much. They’re amazing on salads and pasta dishes and you can even use them to make your own pesto, so I recommend getting hold of some if you can. I love serving this over rocket (which is what’s in the picture) and topped with chunks of grilled halloumi cheese, but I’ve left that out of the ingredients list to keep the base recipe vegan.

Ingredients: -100g brown rice -100g puy/ dark brown or green lentils -2 tbsps olive oil -1 red onion -thumb sized piece fresh ginger -1 tsp cumin -1/2 tsp turmeric -1/2 tsp cinnamon -1/4 of a large cauliflower -a big handful cherry tomatoes -1/4 cucumber -1 lime -salt and pepper, to taste -a small handful pine nuts

Directions: -Cook your brown rice and lentils according to packet instructions. The type of lentils and rice I use both take 25 minutes to cook, so I just boil them together in the same saucepan. Drain when tender and set aside.

-Meanwhile, as the lentils and rice are cooking, put a large frying pan over a medium heat and add the olive oil. Peel, quarter and finely slice the red onion and peel and coarsely grate the ginger, then once the oil is hot add both to the pan. Add in the spices and stir it all together with a wooden spoon, then cook for 5 minutes or so, stirring occasionally, until the onion is soft.

-Coarsely grate the cauliflower, using the side of the grater with the chunkier holes. The cauliflower might break up a little as you grate it, but this doesn’t matter too much as long as you end up with little pieces so they can mix in with the rice and lentils.

-Add the grated cauliflower to the frying pan and turn up the heat a little, then fry, stirring frequently, for about 10 minutes, until the cauliflower has turned golden brown.

-Tip the lentils, rice and cauliflower mixture into a large dish.

-Cut the cucumber lengthways in half, then quarters, then into slices, and quarter the cherry tomatoes.

-Add to the lentils, rice and cauliflower then halve the lime and squeeze over the juice, along with about half a teaspoon of salt and a pinch of black

pepper, to taste, and toss it all together.

Finally, toast the pine nuts in a dry pan over a medium heat for a couple of minutes, keeping a close eye on them and shaking the pan to stop them from burning on one side. They’re ready when they’re golden brown and smell all toasty. Scatter the pine nuts over the pilaf and serve.

The Courier

Monday 13 February 2017

Hannah Osbourne , 2nd year Fine Art meets Arthur Logan, 3rd Year History

Hannah on Arthur Hey Hannah! Where did you go?

Firstly we went to Ernest, but it was pretty packed in there and the only spaces available were on other peoples tables so we decided to pass on that and then we went done to the Cluny instead which was pretty close by, but it was pretty noisy.

It was kind of hard to hear each other at times and that as my fault, it was my suggestion!

“I wore my nice snazzy floral trousers and waffled on about science fiction!”

Did you talk about anything interesting?

A diverse spectrum of things… we talked about both of our courses and what we study, to like music taste… France came up quite a bit Why France?

Because Arthur’s thinking of going there next year to teach and I’ve just started an extra module in learning to speak French So you had a lot in common then?

Erm… Apart from that not a great deal in common. I just waffled on about science fiction films for a bity too long. But the fact we didn’t have much in common wasn’t a bad thing What do you think he thought about you when he first saw you?

I wore my nice snazzy floral trousers. But I don’t know, hope it was good first impressions What did you think about him?

Yeah, he had a good outfit, he was wearing a bomber jacket and a shirt and a really really good bobble hat, which I liked!

What was your favourite thing about him?

Erm… If you liked him at all! Did you like him?

I did, he’s a lovely person, he’s very nice and kind and polite Did this mean you fancied him at all?

I suppose a little bit, maybe If Arthur was a….

Don’t ask me what body part he was.

If Arthur was a toastie filling what would he be?

I always enjoy pesto, and cheese, that’s always pretty great Pretty great… like Arthur?

Haha I guess so Did you kiss?

As we were saying goodbye he sort of came in for a peck… so kind of Sounds like a success… finally what would you rate him out of 10?

A good 8.5 Cheers Hannah!

Fancy a date? We’ll set you up.

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Find us on The Lifestyle Writers 2016/17 Facebook page

.13

Arthur on Hannah So firstly, where did you take Hannah on your date?

Err, we tried to go to Ernest but it was full so we walked on to The Cluny where we had some drinks which was nice

“I may have gone in for an awkward peck...”

Ok. sounds fun. What did you get up to there?

We had a drink and a chat. Talked about everything! Like the courses we do, all sorts really.

She was really talkative.

Could you tell me three fun facts about Hannah?

Three fun facts... Ummm... She seemed to really like Sci-Fi films, thought that was pretty cool.

She liked cycling and I thought all the art stuff she was doing was really cool. She was telling me about a project she’s currently doing.

What kind of stuff is she doing for her project?

It was kind of like.. some sort of multi-media animation thing but not quite animation if that makes sense? Even she was having a hard time explaining it so it’s probably even harder for me!

Haha fair enough.

It was kinda like over-layering of drawings on screens and exploring movement.

Sounds interesting though! What were your first impressions of her?

I thought she seemed really nice, really talkative. Uhh, friendly.

Did you fancy her at all...?

I thought she was nice; I thought I’d definitely like to get to know her and see her again.

Ah Ok. Have you made plans to see eachother again?

We actually went for a coffee yesterday!

Soyou’ve already been on a second date?!

Yeah! It was nice to see her again so...

I see... so any third dates on the cards?

I’m not sure yet... We’ll see, just testing the waters for now y’know.

Sure. Why not?

I feel like we got on really well in a friendly way.

That’s disappointing. What was the best part of the date regardless?

Um, the atmosphere was really nice, quite chill.

I think the best part... Like I really enjoyed getting to know someone new, talking to someone you’ve never met before is really refreshing. The whole process was nice to be honest. It’s nice to get to know someone and ask them about themselves. So I definitely would recommend Blind Date!

If Hannah was a chocolate bar what would she be?

If she was a chocolate bar.... She’d be a.... Snickers? I’m not sure why.

So you’ve seen her again already, do you think you guys will stay friends?

Yeah, I mean we got on really well so I wouldn’t at all be adverse to see her again.

Did she fulfil your hopes and dreams of a first date?

We got on really well so yeah :). We then strolled to the Quayside.. I may have gone in for an awkward peck...

What would you give Hannah out of 10?

A 7.5/8.

14.lifestyle

Monday 13 March 2017

The Courier

Lifestyle Editors: Ana Beretsos, Ruth Loeffler, Antonia Coleman-Harvey & Brooklyn Shakeshaft Ward

Horoscopes from Astrological Antonia Our resident mystic Antonia Coleman-Harvey guides you through your week

Aries March 21- April 19 You’re filled with a sense of enthusiasm and you’’ experiences surges of creativity this week, Aries.

Take care in being your usual sensitive sense, otherwise your optimism might come across too strong.

Taurus April 20- May 20

Your astral configuration means you’ve spent lots of time on on your relationship, neglecting all your friends! Tut tut, Taurus - balance is key.

Gemini May 21- June 20

Sex and romance are centre stage in your priorities this week, cheeky Gemini. Whichever way you choose to exert your create energy, do it with full force! Positivity is infectious, after all, and your chums could benefit from this.

Cancer June 21- July 22

Moonchild, stop acting like such a roadman. Your flatmates do not appreciate it. Although you’re charmingly chatty with a gift for small talk, just tone it down a bit *Ross Geller volume hand gesture.*

Leo July 23- Aug 22

A very handsome surprise sum of money is coming your way Leo - hooray! Jk, it’s just your student loan. But it’ll get you out of the overdraft you’ve been knee deep in for a while now.

Virgo Aug 23- Sep 22

Morocco’s been on your mind hasn’t it, Virgo?

Then go ahead and book your flights! YOLO, right? (I’ve thoroughly made this up, but I bet I’ve got your wanderlust going now haha)... Some travel would open your eyes to new horizons...

Libra Sep 23- Oct 22

You’re naturally perceptive, but your intuition has been particularly active recently, Libra. Follow your gut instinct and you may help someone out in more ways you thought imaginable... Good things will come your way in return.

Scorpio Oct 23- Nov 21

Your sense of adventure will make it hard for you to refuse an offer of a fun trip abroad. Better apply for a passport if you don’t have one! In terms of looming deadlines, no procrastinating, do things with conviction.

Sagittarius Nov 22- Dec 21

Sassy Sagittarius, this week the moon will put you in the mood to make group plans. Swallow your pride and be all-inclusive though. That grudge you’ve got over you-know-who? Let it go.

Capricorn Dec 22- Jan 19

Something’s murky in your aura, Capricorn... can’t quite make out what the stars have in store for you... Nope... No mystic messages for you this week, spiritual soz.

Aquarius Jan 20- Feb 18 Thinking of joining a brass band? Joining the gym? Trying out a recipe in this glorious section?

What’s stopping you! This is the week of saying a big fat ‘Yes” to everything.

Pisces Feb 19- March 20 Yo, fishlings. You’re overthinking everything.

Don’t get ahead of yourself. That person you keep thinking about probably isn’t as amazing as your fantasies are. Connect with your inner aquatic energy and simply ride with the waves, as they say.

It’ll do wonders.

The perfect ‘when-you’re-skint’ soup Grace Dean has finally mastered the perfect student dinner when you get to the end of term and you can only afford the bare minimum - obviously cheese is a student necessity

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eing an eager pursuer of kitchen experimentation and a lover of both homemade soup and cauliflower cheese, after many many bowls full of soupy goodness I have finally managed to perfect my recipe for broccoli and cauliflower cheese soup.

With generous-sized heads of both selling for around 50p each at Grainger Market and the other ingredients generally being fridge and store-cupboard essentials, this recipe is cheap to make and takes only around half an hour to whizz up. While the cheese adds a moreish and indulgent touch, the quantity of vegetables used means that it provides two portions of veg per serving – both delicious and healthy(-ish)!

“If you only like one of the two vegetables, just double the quantity of this, and you can easily make a cauliflower cheese or broccoli cheese soup”

Serves Four Ingredients • Half a head each of broccoli & cauliflower • Onion & potatoes to bulk if wanted (however I prefer to not use these to allow a stronger broccoli/cauliflower flavour) • Stock cube or other seasonings of your choice • Knob of butter • Tablespoon of flour • 200ml milk • 150g grated or chopped cheese - I personally use cheddar, but you can experiment (Stilton being the classic cheese to complement broccoli), or just use up any scraps in the fridge

If you only like one of the two vegetables, just double the quantity of this, and you can easily make a cauliflower cheese or broccoli cheese soup.

Served with seeded brown bread, this soup provides a substantial, satisfying meal for those drizzly March days.

Making this soup is quick, easy and cheap; what more could you want in a student meal? It’s also a great library food because you can easily carry it around uni with you. Freezing soup isn’t for everybody, but it’s an option none-the-less!

Instructions 1.

Cook the veg. Chop up the broccoli and cauliflower (the finer you chop them, the quicker they will cook) and cook in a pan of boiling water until tender. Add potatoes and onions if wanted.

Top up the water while cooking, but try to keep the water level just over the height of the veg – too much water will make it a runny, watery soup. Add a stock cube, or seasonings of your choice, halfway through cooking.

2.

Make the cheese sauce. While the veg is still cooking, make a basic roux by melting butter in a pan, adding flour, and whisking til this forms a thick dough-like roux. Add the milk in small increments, and keep whisking while you do so to avoid any lumps. Once all the milk is added, let the sauce boil til it thickens and forms a basic white sauce, then turn to a simmer and add the cheese.

Keep whisking until the cheese melts into a lovely smooth sauce.

3.

Combine the two. If you got your timing right then hopefully both components will be ready at the same time! Simply pour the cheese sauce and vegetables into a mixing bowl (along with the water the veg was cooked in as it holds a lot of flavour and vitamins!), and blend using a hand blender (if you don’t have one, good models are available at Argos for under £10). Tadaa! A deliciously-thick, luxurious broccoli and cauliflower cheese soup, that gives you a vitamin boost whilst also satisfying any cheese-related cravings.

Fancy yourself as a whizz in the kitchen? Get in touch and send us your recipes to share!

BNOC knock, who’s there?

So you think you have a lot of mates? Swingers is basically a private party with the amount of people you know there, Ruth Loeffler deciphers whether you truly are a BNOC

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So first point of call for BNOC status would be to always ALWAYS be ready to see someone you know in Tescos in Jesmond. It might be 8am in the morning, or 3.59pm on Sunday but you are there and ready with your best fake smile and niceties, no matter how much you just want to grab a frozen pizza and leave.

Extra credit given to those who have perfected the nice trackies and bed-head look. Only BNOCs really have to worry about these things because less popular folk can just throw on a dressing gown and retain their anonymity. Ah this price you must pay for popularity.

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People just seem to know your name everywhere you go. It might be someone in your lecturers you swear you’ve never seen before in your life. It might be the sandwich connaisseur at eatforless... Something weird is going on.

There’s never any need to introduce yourself anymore. They already know who you are! And their names? That’s when it gets awkward.

How can you keep track of ALL these people you know, or who know you. Just brush them off with a quick ‘babes’ and they’ll never know. Or glare at them like they’ve accosted you without your permission. It’ll just add to your badboy/girl rep.

Spotted on campus

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You have to allow yourself fifteen minutes extra time to cross from the Robinson library over to any lectures you might have. This is not due to your slow pace. Oh no, this is due to the endless conversations you must have as you go about your daily business. It’s so unfair that being a BNOC does not constitute a good enough reason for being the last one to arrive in the lecture theatre. As inconvenient as this is, at least it provides you with many interesting titbits and gossip from your various fans to assist you in your status as a BNOC because obviously you cannot prove yourself a BNOC if you are not the central hub of all things scandalous.

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Nights out are a walk in the park for you. In fact they usually end up fuelling your well-stoked ego. Obviously you’re on first name basis with Pete and don’t even reach for your ID in any queue. You know someone behind the bar, so trebles come regularly and with quickfingered change so you avoid the ‘common’ prices.

Every Thursday, you take extreme delight in swanning past the boisterous rabble that is the Swingers queue. This isn’t just a one-off sneak in. They know your name at the door, and it works all the time, every time.

Once you’re in, you can’t move for people trying to dance with you. It really is tiresome. Maybe head to Munchies and hope they remember your regular standing order.

I think this week we do have to give a special mention to the extensive posters we’ve seen in the last week. As of writing we don’t know the results yet. However, I can tell you I’ve spoken to a few staff members who have found the posters absolutely hilarious. One woman in the medical school sounded so genuinely sorry that she’d had to confiscate a load of posters because she found them hilarious. Another lecturer just turned to me and said, ‘but none of them even say what they’re going to do or what their position is about? It’s literally just their name!’ Yes. Students are simple creatures, we don’t want to overcomplicate things...

Have you seen something weird and then wished your friends were there to witness it? We’d love to know who/what you’ve seen around campus that has made you chuckle in the last week. The weirder the better. Just Facebook us and let us know, because chances are we’d love to have a chuckle too.

The Courier

lifestyle .15

Monday 13 March 2017

thecourieronline.co.uk/lifestyle c2.lifestyle@ncl.ac.uk | @CourierLifestyle

Cardio bunny or body builder?

This debate is plastered all over social media; You may still not be sure what the answer is, so Toby Bryant is here to shed a light on the everlasting argument between the two

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he rivalry between cardio training and weightlifting is ever-present between gym goers and fitness fanatics. The big, burly men can be seen showing off their impeccable masculinity with the free weights amidst calls of, “Do you even lift bro?”, whilst lycre-clad, skinny athletes are often seen jogging around the Town Moor. However, what is the real difference between cardio workouts and weightlifting and is one better than the other?

Cardio is short for cardiovascular and is exercise that improves the body’s circulatory system. Running and cycling are two obvious examples but it can include activities such as dancing or even walking too. On the other hand, weightlifting focuses on strength training in which athletes normally perform a series of muscle contractions to increase strength and boost anaerobic endurance.

Clearly, weight training is the most well-known example but hobbies, such as pilates and yoga, use a person’s own body weight instead of the weights found in a gym to serve the same effect.

“A healthy workout routine should include both cardio and weight-based exercises for a number of reasons”

The two different forms of exercise are often seen as existing in two completely different worlds where people must choose one or the other. However, this couldn’t be further from the truth. A healthy workout routine should include both cardio and weight-based exercises for a number of reasons. These include:

Weight Loss When it comes to burning fat or simply maintaining a weight, cardio has the advantage over weights. Cardio allows the heart rate to remain higher for a longer period of time and, therefore, more calories are burnt. However, if weights-based training is tailored to serve this effect, such as shorter rest periods, it can also serve as a positive for burning fat.

the health of the heart and circulatory system it also helps to increase life expectancy. With regular cardiovascular activity the likelihood of developing illnesses such as obesity, heart disease and type 2 diabetes is lowered. Again, strength training can also play a crucial role in future health. Bone and muscle loss are problems faced by many of the elderly but with regular, sensible weight-based training from a young age these problems can also be, to an extent, curbed.

So, which is better, cardiovascular activity or weight training? Unfortunately, as much as one side would love the upper hand over the other, both are vital. This is not to say that an exact 50/50 balance between the two is necessary but everyone should try and change-up their routine from time to time to ensure maximum health benefits!

All information featured in this article is only provided for guidance.

Get in touch and let us know if you have mastered a student-friendly workout routine.

Building Muscle Cardio can help boost muscle mass and strength but, can also hinder muscle growth if performed too frequently at too high an intensity. It is important for everyone to undertake some sort of weight training to achieve top fitness. That said, as previously mentioned, this doesn’t have to be weightlifting in the gym. Simple activities such as squats, lunges and push-ups all fall into this category.

Vegan baking Here are some life changing recipes from Siobhan Fuller for the Vegans out there or perhaps anyone wanting to try something new and different

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eganism is undoubtedly growing in popularity which means that if you haven’t tried it for yourself, you definitely know someone who has. This does however result in difficulties finding food you can share with your nonvegan friends, particularly desserts. Whether you have a bake sale coming up or just want something sweet to get you through your essays, here are three simple, veganfriendly recipes to satisfy your sweettooth without breaking the bank.

Peanut Butter Blondies I’m always prefer brownies and blondies which are dense and fudgey over the lighter, more solid ones, so the peanut butter in this creates that perfect texture. Preheat your oven to 180C and grease a baking tray. In a food processor, blend 1 can of drained chickpeas, 150g granulated sugar or xylitol, 25g rolled oats, 85g peanut butter (or any nut butter you fancy), 60ml almond milk, 2 teaspoons of vanilla extract, 1 teaspoon of baking powder and a sprinkling of salt. Once it’s smooth, stir in cacoa nibs, nuts or vegan chocolate chips, then scoop it out into the baking tray. Bake for 2530 minutes and allow to fully cool before digging in. I find that slicing these up into individual brownies then putting them in the fridge gives them a lovely gooey texture. I made a huge batch at Christmas and the whole house devoured them in one night, vegans and nonvegans alike.

Long Term Health With the great benefits that cardio provides for

Precautions to protect your party No-one likes a party to end before it’s even started, Amanda Jane Yap is here with some tips and words of wisdom on how to ensure that your party is one to remember

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oe to those residents staying around you, if you are part of the Jesmond party crew who habitually have to have loud, heart-thumping and head-banging music during your fortnightly house parties. With greater surveillance until 5am every Friday and Saturday by Operation Oaks Police Officers, it is possible that your parties might be disbanded even before the fun officially starts.

We’re students and we like parties, so they are going to happen without a doubt. However, truth be told, it’s no surprise that your neighbours might be slightly annoyed at the fact that you’re throwing a party. Although it would be nice to think that such grievances happen because the invite you sent to your neighbour got lost in the post (of course we are talking metaphorically here), we have got to face the facts and reality. Here are a couple of tips on how to throw a fun-filled, neighbour-friendly party:

“When it’s time to move out, the curtains can either go with you or serve as a present from the new tenants to encourage them to carry on that legacy of legendary house parties” Install thick pleated sound absorbing curtains

I don’t suppose your landlord would consent to investing in good pleated thick sound-absorbing

curtains if you say that you need them for house parties. However, if it means that much to your flat, your entire flat could chip in to the cost. When it’s time to move out, the curtains can either go with you or it can serve as a present for the new tenants to encourage them to carry on that legacy of legendary house parties. Though sound-absorbing pleated curtains muffles noises up to two or three times, it is still handy to check from the outside that the party music is not blaring into your neighbours’ house.

“Only this person has the authority to lower the music which is by far out of bounds to random visitors ” Assign a Lookout at House Parties

Forever and always living on a student budget, so thick sound-absorbing curtains are a luxury that is unaffordable until a decent-paying job comes along. By that time, you would be too busy and tired from working a 9-to-5 job that house parties would be a thing of the past. Nonetheless, being resourceful, you can delegate or roster a person to keep a lookout whenever house parties are in full swing. This person will stand guard by the front door, and look out occasionally for signs ie. Police patrolling outside, neighbours looking out of their windows into your house that your party disturbances are too much too handle. Only this person has the authority to lower the music volume which is by far out of bounds to random visitors.

Give up and make a trip to Sinners or Tiger Tiger

You have been given dirty looks by your neighbours and the police has already been on your case during the past two occasions, one more visit from them and your entire flat might just go to jail. Just give up and make a trip downtown to one of Newcastle clubs and let loose, there is a reason why Newcastle’s night life is one of the best in the United Kingdom. At least you know that you won’t have to bother about random neighbours knocking on your door, yelling at you to ‘keep it down because we all need to sleep’.

“Be the exemplary neighbour on your street; help your neighbours with chores, or bake them your special banana-chocolate chips muffins if you have to ” Be a good neighbour

Party hard all night and make it up to your neighbours in the day to pacify them. Be the exemplary neighbour on your street, help your neighbours with chores, or bake them your special banana-chocolate chip muffins you have to. Smile at them even if they grumble about your night activities. The more good deeds you do, they might, just probably be won over by your endearing acts and hesitate a whole 15 minutes before calling the police.

Cookie Dough Bites This one is my current favourite comfort food because it has the same texture as cookie dough, plus it uses many of the same ingredients as the blondies. Pulse 90g rolled oats in your food processor until they resemble a flour, then add in 1 overripe banana (the riper the better), 3 tablespoons of agave or maple syrup, 1 tablespoon of coconut oil, 1 tablespoon of dessicated coconut and 1 teaspoon of vanilla extract. Blend until smooth, although you may want to add some almond milk a tablespoon at a time to loosen up the mixture. Stir in vegan chocolate chips or cacoa nibs then pop in the fridge for 20 minutes. Once the mixture is hardened slightly, break it up and roll into 12 bitesized cookie dough balls. Stick them back in the fridge for an hours they are less sticky if you can wait that long!

Berry Cheesecakes If you prefer something a bit fruitier, these mini cheesecakes may sound more up your street.

The crust is made up of 200g of pitted dates, pulsed until they form a ball and put aside, followed by adding 120g of walnuts, also pulsed into a flour. Blend them together to create a dough, then press into a cupcake tin. They need to sit in the freezer whilst you making the filling, which consists of 180g soaked cashew nuts, 50ml lemon juice, 80g melted coconut oil, 150ml coconut milk (the kind from a can, not a carton) and 120ml agave or maple syrup. Blend until smooth, then spoon onto the crusts. Swirl your berries of choice into the cheesecake mixture I’m impartial to raspberries but it’s really up to you. Freeze for at least 4 hours, then grab a spoon and enjoy!

16. fashion

Monday 13 March 2017

The Courier

Fashion Editors: Liz Rosling, Izzi Watkins & Zofia Zwieglinska

Getting into the swing of spring As the weather gets warmer, Ali Walker keeps on top of the changing seasons and trends Lauren Sneath on social media and it’s function in the T fashion world G Social Media Upsurge

one are the days of elaborate halls with pillars and high ceilings, bedecked with swathes of coloured silk and encrusted with the most expensive decorations money can buy. Over the last few years designers have embraced the burgeoning digital media trend, making the most of the new avenues now available to them in order to connect with customers on a more intimate level.

The catwalks of late have been much more lowkey spaces, in order for all eyes be directed towards the overt political statements on the clothes themselves. A fine example is the Christian Dior SS 17 ready to wear show, which featured a simple, boardwalk style catwalk in pale, yellow toned wood. This, the creamy white backdrop and the fairly soft lighting complemented the collection.

By contrast, there are designers like Tommy Hilfiger for whom it seems the most important thing is to put on the biggest, brashest show possible; as we saw from him 2016 New York Fashion Week “fairground”. This carnival style event took place upon a pier, complete with rides, stalls and frequent opportunities to buy the collection straight away around every corner.

This bizarrely wonderful celebration of his work was made even more high profile by what could be considered as another aspect of fashion’s future: Gigi Hadid and her celebrity model posse. These young, unfairly long-legged women are the fashion community’s gateway to the young buyers of today, so I don’t blame Tommy Hilfiger for milking every possible publicity opportunity with Gigi, be it collaborations on collections, photo shoots or live Snapchat takeovers on the brand account.

“Relying on prestige and tradition is no longer a viable option- it’s every man for himself, and with young buyers aplenty, the earliest bird to tweet will inevitably catch the consumer worm” Nowadays, social media acts as a translator from the couture elite to the everyday shopper. Businesses are finally utilising social media to take full advantage of today’s “impulse buyer” culture, such as the Facebook “chat bot” function. This allows automated programs to respond to queries and even take orders over the Internet, and the use of digital avenues doesn’t stop there. Snapchat stories, used by millions of everyday people to record their experiences, are now an integral part of brand advertisement when it comes to Fashion Week.

Many designers premier their shows on Snapchat the day before, using the “live stories” function, and the behind the scenes action is also shown live in order to give viewers a feeling of being an “insider” in the world of fashion. No longer are hemlines pinned out of sight of customers, and makeup applied behind firmly closed doors. The idea that fashion shows must have ostentatious exteriors and completely secret inner workings is dying just as quickly as social media’s hold upon the industry intensifies. Backstage peeks give the potential customers the delicious feeling of being involved, whilst businesses use Instagram to give an overview of the brand as a whole, and to showcase their designs in staged photographs.

The fashion industry will only continue to cash in on the opportunities social media platforms provide in the future, and as our society swings more and more in a digital direction, brand after brand will have to adapt to these new ways of w o r k i n g .

Relying on prestige and tradition is no longer a viable option- it’s every man for himself, and with young buyers aplenty, the earliest bird to tweet will inevitably catch the consumer worm.

#NYFW #SS17 #backstage

#chatbot #GigiHadid

he time has finally arrived. The time for us to emerge from hibernation, shed our dressing gowns and ditch the copious layers we’ve needed to survive the winter weather in Newcastle. As the weather get’s warmer(ish), a new season of course justifies a wardrobe refresh. However, as students, I’m sure I speak for everyone when I acknowledge the fact that funds are pretty tight and spending on trebles remains apriority. Here is a guide on how to do this seasons biggest trends on the cheap, as the sun finally starts to nudge its way through the clouds…

Florals for Spring? Groundbreaking…

As we all utter Miranda Priestly’s famous words under our breath, 11 years on and florals remain the ultimate spring trend. Seen on the catwalks of the likes of Balenciaga, Chloe and Marques’ Almeida, it’s safe to say there’s a need for the number of Vogue.com Vogue.com flower-prints to grow into our wardrobes.

Here are a couple of the best takes on this blossoming trend: Topshop Floral Mesh Frill Blouse, price: £36.00, product code: 13H20KMUL Zara Embroidered Mid Rise Jeans, price £25.99, product code: 6164/066

Oppa Gingham style, Gingham style…

Albeit slightly reminiscent of your grandmother’s tablecloth, another trend on the rise this spring is gingham. Deriving from the Malayan word genggang, meaning striped, this long-lasting trend practically sings spring. This 2017, the checkered material can be found in pretty much all highstreet retailers, so here we have the budget friendly way of channeling your inner Dorothy from Wizard of Oz… Boohoo Noelle Gingham Ruffle Bodysuit, price £14.00, product code: dzz58716 Topshop Gingham Ruffle Jersey Mini Skirt, price £26.00, product code: 27J02LBLE

Topshop PU Short Pencil Skirt, price £32.00, product code: 27A09LPNK

T-shirt weather in the manor, my friend…

Throwing it back to our primary school days when we begrudgingly donned our Dare T-shirts, it seems that slogan tee’s are the new ‘it’ way of making a statement. A simple way of achieving effortless fashion, we can finally ditch our puffer jackets in favour of a lighter garm, as the sun’s rays make more than just a rare appearance. The slogan tee will become your SS17’S staple.

Zara Slogan Print T-Shirt with Shoulder Pads, price £12.99, product code: 1131/077 Topshop Petite Femme Forever T-Shirt, price £15.00, product code: 26N54LGRY

Pretty in Pink…

Another style to nail on the cheap this season is the spectrum of candy-flossesque inspired shades of pink. Relatively easy to incorporate into your transitional wardrobe – remember to air on the side of caution with this one - so as not to emulate Mr Blobby on a bad day, or leave the house going to university looking like a marshmallow flump.

Zara Cropped Sweatshirt with Text Details, price £15.99, product code: 1501/080

“Here is a guide on how to do this season’s biggest trends on cheap, as the sun finally starts to nudge its way through the clouds...”

The most stylish films of all time

Sophie Schneider explores the iconic wardrobes behind some of Hollywood’s greatest

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hen defining a film’s costume and design as truly iconic you need to be assured that the fashion will influence future trends: the designers must predict and influence simultaneously. There are few films whose fashion designs are mimicked in current 21st century trends, however I’ve picked three films where certain designs or themes have cropped up in Paris Fashion Week.

Funny Face

Firstly, I re-watched Funny Face, that Hepburn classic, mainly to get my monthly Audrey fix, but also looking for inspiration for this article. Instantly, I fell in love with Givenchy, the fashion industry, and pink all over again. The lyrics to Think Pink, the opening number lead by the fashion edi-

Credit: Youtube

tor Prescott (Thompson), are more relevant than ever; “Banish the black, burn the blue, and bury the beige, from now on Think Pink!”

Paris’ catwalk had obviously been in close contact with Ms. Prescott, as a large majority of the shows

were seen through rose-tinted glasses, reflecting the ludicrously pink haven of Quality magazine HQ. Celine, Balenciaga, and Valentino’s shows were all packed with colour: candy, baby, rose, cassis, cherry- if it sounded remotely like a stripper name…it was there. But the pink obsession doesn’t end in Paris, a short walk round Jesmond will prove that. Osborne Road has descended into a sea of pink puffa jackets floating towards me like giant marshmallows. Even pink metallic mini-skirts (à la Sharpay Evans from HSM) are finding themselves on the high street.

“Banish the black, burn the blue, and bury the beige, from now on Think Pink!”

Former editor-and-chief of Vogue Diana Vreeland, who the character Ms. Precott was loosely based on, described fashion as ‘the intoxicating release from the banality of the world’, and I truly believe this pink phase does just that. When you take a leap, and throw in some pink to your outfit, you’re instantly transported to the nostalgic world of school discos complete with plastic touch pink mini skirts. Happy days…

and plastic fringing, with a metallic touch: designs that later inspired Jean-Paul Gaultier in his

Credit: Youtube

futuristic costumes in the 1997 production ‘Fifth Element’. Paris FW reflected this then-daring futuristic style, as Correges, Dior and Paco Rabanne all adapted their looks to reflect the slim silhouette minimalist futuristic fashion look.

Rear Window

Finally, Rear Window makes it on my list, purely because of fashion icon Grace Kelly. The slightly disturbing, voyeuristic psych-thriller is brought alive by Grace Kelly’s wardrobe designed by Edith Head. The styles are classic and will never be out-

Barbarella

Famously the first woman superhero, Barbarella (Jane Fonda) is a futuristic astronaut who later became a sex symbol influencing other sci-fi classics.

The New York Times called Barbarella “the most iconic sex goddess of the 60’s”. The costumes were designed by Jacques Fonteray and Paco Rabanne, and they based their designs around white leather

Credit: Youtube

The Courier

fashion .17

Monday 13 March 2017

thecourieronline.co.uk/fashion

Spring Style Icon: Nina Dobrev Jo Bentham talks us through the dazzling TV star’s style transformation over the years

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away. The 2016 Vanity Fair Oscar Party was a brilliant night for fashion, and Dobrev sported my absolute favourite look of the night, and possibly my favourite red carpet look EVER. She opted for a pretty, soft look in the most breathtaking pink, embellished Elie Saab gown. With her hair pulled away from her face and left loose down her back and her simple, ‘no-make-up-make-up’ look, she looked like a princess. However, Dobrev, liking to add a bit of sexiness to her looks, made sure the dress wasn’t too innocent and plain, opting for a low cut neckline and a low reaching back to add some grown-up elegance.

“She was the picture of ‘coolelegance’ and who knew she was foreshadowing the MAJOR ruffle trend of 15/16 way back when?”

Proving just how diverse and interesting her fashion choices are, Dobrev opted for a completely

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2015

2013 n my personal opinion, Nina Dobrev is remarkably under-appreciated in the fashion world. Her ever-diverse style has been catching my eye since she first graced our screens as Elena Gilbert in The Vampire Diaries in 2009.

My mind shoots back to Comic Con 2009, where Dobrev wore the most beautiful, elegant baby blue ruffled blouse paired with some contrastingly sexy high-waist black shorts. She was the picture of ‘cool-elegance’ and who knew she was foreshadowing the MAJOR ruffle trend of 15/16 way back when?

Now, I have to mention another, less pleasing, outfit choice Dobrev made during Comic Con 2009. For another day of the convention, she opted for black skinny jeans and a dark pink logo tee. I mean, I’ve heard of – and much appreciate – the term ‘jeans and a nice top’, it’s a lifesaver for a spontaneous night out with the girls, but when you’re a rich, famous celeb promoting a TV show? No. But hey, this was 2009, so lets cut the girl some slack.

Dobrev has definitely gone on to make up for the unfortunate ‘mighty mouse’ incident, and her red carpet appearances of late have taken my breath

Zofia Zwieglinska looks behind the scenes of the biggest online fashion retailers

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pinterest.com

2009

different look at this years Vanity Fair Oscar Party. Having cut her long locks into a long bob, she opted for a much more openly sexy look to compliment her new, mature hairstyle. Wearing Dior’s unforgettable bandeau bra and shorts sheer gown, paired with a black choker for added feistiness, she proved that she can pull of any look, and can not be beaten when it comes to changing up her style.

The red carpet is not the only place Dobrev manages to give us major style envy though, her street style is to die for and she is the queen of dressing to suit the occasion. One look that automatically comes to mind is her boho-chic choice at Coachella 2016. Her red flowery top and rounded sunglasses are one thing, but what really tops this look off is the hair. Oh the hair. Some people go to Coachella and think it’s the perfect reason to dress, well, just bizarre. Dobrev however, got it so right. Adding a braid to her natural-looking wavy hair and securing a feather and dream catcher, she showed everyone how to nail the relaxed, hippy look without looking too dishevelled and in my mind, cemented her title as style icon.

Appropriate attire for taking the Toon

Rory Ellis gives you the down-low on Newcastle’s notorious nightlife and its wavy garms Monday

A night out that we’re all familiar with; Digi Mondays. You’re going to want an outfit where practicality comes first. You need shoes that look as battered as you do on a Tuesday morning and trousers that you don’t mind soaking in cheap mixers.

You should think about wearing a versatile top, perhaps a t-shirt with a shirt over the top, an essential layer of protection ensuring you don’t contract hypothermia as a result of the sub degree temps of Times Square. Then, when you’re inside, the shirt goes round the waist (or your chest if you from Rahstle Leazes). Alternatively a beer jacket works well if you’ve put in a good grind at prinks, but if you’re prioritising style a queue jump ticket is probably you best bet.

Thursday

Tuesday

If you’re someone that likes a night out in Cosmic on Tuesday, the attire is somewhat different. It might be worth taking a trip to a kilo sale if you want to get the right look. A lot of girls like to spice it up with glitter, funky glasses and other really original accessories. Again, its worth wearing something thin, even if the queue is long and its cold outside you’ll have no regrets when you’re sweating it out in the oven that is Cosmic’s dance floor. Depending on the type of night you want, trousers with pockets can be very useful for keeping… glitter for top ups later in the night.

Some men choose to go shirtless later in the night, I’ll leave that up to your discretion…

The Weekend

However, on the weekend everything I’ve said should largely be disregarded. As stag and hen parties converge on House of Smith, the fashion battleground is changed. Locals raise the bar as women wear heels and men come sporting ironed shirts and brogues in true spice boy style.

On a Saturday students have to attempt matching the Geordie flare, so put your trainers and denim jackets away and swap them for inappropriate footwear, a tight dress or tactically ripped jeans and you should be good to go. .

Wednesday

Wednesday means sports night… so get your novelty props out people. Depending on your sports tribe there will undoubtedly be a set of rigid and bazar fancy dress requirements, and if you don’t adhere then you’ve only got yourself to blame for any ensuing forfeits.

Sports nights are all about stamina and staying power, so don your comfiest trainers and get down to Legends dancefloor. Luckily you’ll be drowning your fancy dress humiliation in VKs before you know it.

Sunday

Who are you?! PJs and slippers obviously...

Instagram: @jooleeloren

Swingers on Thursdays are a similar edgy vibe. Again, you might want to revisit the kilo sale for a second outfit. You’re going to want things that clash; never a bad idea to wear two different patterns at Swingers. If you walk out the house/flat feeling largely presentable, then you should probably turn straight back around and put more effort into looking effortless. Lots of students go in Adidas, Nike or Reebok trainers, but make sure that they’re not suede unless you want them to die a tragic death courtesy of the famously flooded toilets.

The smoking area can be just as, if not, busier than the dance floor, so a shapeless jumper that can be rolled a few times on the sleeves works pretty well in that scene.

The ugly face of our ASOS obsession

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Credit: Actionstorage.com

ass clothing production in fashion has been a problem for the industry ever since massive online stores like Asos and Missguided grabbed our hearts and purses with their enormous clothing range, next day delivery and relatively low prices. However, these websites may actually be hurting the industry and the wider ethical circle of fashion clothing production.

While it may be useful to have your fashion needs met (I mean, hasn’t everyone really dreamt of getting your wish-list items delivered the next day), it is definitely an ethically questionable practice. These online superstores target those on a smaller budget, who still want to keep up with the latest trends and not spend an extortionate amount. Ideally… students. Our budget’s are very small, and rather than thinking about where our clothing comes from, we prefer to have the next trendiest item or that latest pair of Asos dungarees. Although on a general ethical fashion scale, we don’t wear furs and we know that mohair is not obtained in an ethical manner, we put less thought into everyday items that we buy in bulk amount from shops that shouldn’t keep up their production within normal paying costs.

“These online superstores target those on a smaller budget, who still want to keep up with the latest trends and not spend an extortionate amount”

Although Asos can be fun, it lacks clarity as to where the clothing comes from and how the producers, imports and the delivery and store stockrooms workers are treated. Most big fashion brands with designers who consider themselves ethically active raise the prices of their products so that they can pay their workers (who are usually working in textile production outside the UK) better wages. They also make sure that their fabric production does not affect the environment in a negative manner, such as through the washing out of clothes in local rivers. Since the majority of products on these websites are under fifty pounds, it begs the question if it is actually possible to produce a reasonably good quality item of clothing for that amount, with consideration for the workers in the clothing production areas and in their stock and delivery areas.

Recently, Asos has come under fire for its treatment of workers in a report on worker conditions published by Buzzfeed News. The report said that workers had not been allowed toilet breaks and were thoroughly searched in case they had stolen items from the store. It also appears that strict deadlines and time targets leave the workers feel stressed and unable to work productively, with some staff reporting panic attacks when unable to complete their tasks within the time limit.

So although your items may look wonderful and make you the envy of the fashionable crowd at uni, maybe it might be worthwhile considering if the cheap fashion you are buying may actually be hurting the workers of the company, who could be exploited and under pressure because of your own trigger shopping habits. Keeping your shopping habits under control could also save you a lot of money and save the questionable nature of shopping on sites that are not transparent of their ethical policy.

18. beauty

Monday 13 March 2017

The Courier

Beauty Editors: Miranda Stoner, Ellie Trenrt & Ellen Walker

Break up, Chop off

Beauty Ed Ellen Walker shares the best of celebrity break up hair and how changing up your do can mend your broken heart

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t’s true that changing up your hair makes you feel like you’re having a fresh start at life. New hair, new me and all that.

It not surprising then, that changing up your doo is often a go-to vice for people following a break up to help ease the pain and start a new chapter in life without your beau. This seems to have been a tradition amongst celebs and I’m going to talk you through some of the best celebrity post-break-up hair transformations.

If you’re up to date with celebrity news, or your just have a social media account of any sort, you’ve probably seen that Pop queen Katy Perry has transformed her locks into a platinum edgy crop following her split with Orlando bloom. Katy is known for her sickly-sweet signature look, made famous by her candy-world themed California dreams tour, her edgy new crop stays far away fr`om this, suggesting that perhaps Katy is looking for a new start. Although it’s completely understandable to be heartbroken after a split with Orlando, I think we’d all be, I do think that this new look is also representative of a change in her music.

Her more recent releases seem to be straying away from cheesy pop and heading into a slightly edgier sound, suggesting that changing up her hair is just another step in this new career direction.

It’s not only women who get a satisfaction from changing up their hair after a break up. Last year

Go on and take a bow

Ribbons are the perfect chic hair-accessory to tighten up any lagging locks. Beauty Ed Miranda Stoner tells us why she loves ribbons and bows so much this coming season

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ating back as far as the 18th century the hair bow has been a style aid for decades of hair stylists and casual fashionistas, but it was the autumn/winter 2017 New York Fashion week which has brought the trend back into wider circulation. Models from Tory Burch and Marchesa to name a few strutted down the catwalk sporting the style set to become an important summer trend. It is a perfect style for any hair type or length as it involves only minimum effort for maximum effect. So let loose those tight French braids and complex fishtail twists and get your texture spray ready for a far more casual do.

Look no. 1 Loosely tied back. If you have mid-to-long hair this is the style for you. It is achievable in its simplest form by using a hairbrush to tease your locks back out of your face and into the ribbon loop.

Wear a low pony for a casual just-out-of-bed look.

To achieve this look, use a texture spray to add an extra dimension and let some hairs around your face free so they frame your cheeks. Or if you want a more statement style use a hair bobble to fix a high pony in place before completing tying it together with your ribbon. If you’re going for a high pony, when you’ve tied up your hair try curling the ends for a softer look or straighten it to counteract the childish bow. When it comes to colour and thickness of the ribbon the choice is entirely up to you, there are so many options!

Look no. 2

On top. This is a more difficult look to pull off as there is a danger of resembling a pre-teen who has just spent the last of her Claire’s accessories giftcard or hello kitty. Yet get it right and you have a wave of Instagram likes to look forward to. I would say the key to nailing this look is in the size and colour of your ribbon- choose bows in classic black or nude velvet over diamanté’s and aggressive pinks. Although you can keep your ribbon in place by tying it around your head like a headband and clipping it in, it can be easier to use a clip on bow. Fasten it in off centre and watch it transform your face or use it to adorn a high bun.

Some tips on perfecting the look

Backstage at New York Fashion week hair stylist Guido of Tory Burch advised ELLE ‘Don’t worry if it’s not perfect,’ ‘If it’s a little undone, floppy or asymmetrical it just adds to the charm.’ This is the beauty of the style- there is little room for error, so just experiment and see what works with your face shape.

“This is the beauty of the style- there is little room for error, so just experiment and see what works with your face shape”

To stop ribbons from fraying use a flame to seal the ends- although bear in mind this only applies to ribbons made from synthetic materials (not velvet). Go into a safe environment with a bucket of water nearby and using a lighter hold the ends of the lengths to the flame, this should seal the ends.

If you don’t have a safe space to do this though fraying can add an extra element of degrade chic.

Finally, where to buy your ribbons. The best places to find ribbon are online- eBay or amazon for example or there is a wide range of colours, thicknesses and textures at the haberdashery store in Grainger Market.

Back to basics Instagram: @ epcomunicacion

“It’s not only women who get a satisfaction from changing up their hair after a Skin needing a refresh? Lois Johnston is here to tell us why giving your skin a break from your usual make up routine could very well be the answer to your prayers break up” saw Zayn Malik’s split from Little Mix’s Perrie Edwards which was followed by Zayn transforming his natural dark hair into an attention-grabbing silver. Although Zayn didn’t take long to move on, with supermodel Gigi Hadid no less, he still felt the need to change up his look to signify this major change to his love life.

Instagram: @Marck_Perry

Summer of 2016 saw yet ANOTHER Taylor Swift break up, this time from world famous DJ Calvin Harris. Taylor followed the theme of ditching natural locks and opting for a seriously edgy look by going for shorter, platinum, icy blonde hair. The country singer rose to fame as a teenager, sporting trademark long, curly locks. As she’s got older and even more successful, her hair has got progressively shorter, giving her a more mature and refined look. This break up saw what seems to be the end of this transformation from giggly teenager to one of the most successful vocal artists of this generation, with a strong and dramatic cut to match.

Here’s to Taylors break-up hair screaming strong independent woman, I’m sure it won’t be long until

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f you go on Instagram, Facebook or Twitter these days, it may seem like every other girl is an MUA. 14 year olds are now looking like 25 year olds, with their 3 layers of MAC studio fix Foundation and their eyebrows that they got up 2 hours earlier to draw on that morning. However, with the rise of the ‘Instagram make-up’ trend, and it becoming harder and harder to achieve individuality with you make up these days, I want to know: what is this all for? Is it all worth it? Or are there any benefits to going make-up free?

First of all, the obvious benefits of laying off the make-up are for your skin. It is a widespread opinion that make-up ruins skin and causes breakouts.

Of course, the number one rule of wearing makeup is that you must never sleep in make-up. If your make-up is on your face for a prolonged period of time, the ingredients and chemicals in the make-up can seep into your skin and cause breakouts. That said, there is a huge range of factors that can contribute to bad skin and breakouts, including stress, diet and hormones. So, the majority of the time, you should be okay wearing make-up if you steer away from anything that contains harsh chemicals or other ingredients which could cause your skin to worsen. Also, if you invest in a silicone-based primer (for example Too Faced’s Hangover Rx), this will act as a thin layer between your skin and your make-up, so that instead of the make-up sitting on your skin all day long, it is on top of the silicone primer instead.

“It is a widespread opinion that make-up ruins skin and causes breakouts”

This day in age, it is uncommon to see women or young adults out in public make-up free, but why is this? I feel it is a mixture of things. For those who are used to seeing their face made-up day in, day out for the past few decades, their face may seem different if they don’t apply at least one coat of mascara in a morning. Also, there is a growing pressure from society to look a certain way. If you don’t

apply make-up in a morning, you’re ‘lazy’ or ‘look a mess’, but if you apply too much you’re ‘trying to hard’ or ‘high maintenance’. It is expected that women look perfect and natural every day with minimal effort. It is this same pressure which saw the emergence of the ‘no make-up make-up’ trend in recent years. Girls spends hundreds of pounds and several hours applying products which make them look like they’re not wearing make up at all.

“This day in age, it is uncommon to see women or young adults out in public make-up free, but why is this? I feel it is a mixture of things”

Having a #nomakeup day has now become a popular movement on social media, after the success of the #nomakeupselfie a few years ago, when many celebrities joined the movement and shared their bare faces with their fans. At the end of last year, Kim Kardashian attended the Balenciaga show at NYFW bare-faced. Unfortunately, this act was overshadowed by events that happened just days later, but I don’t think that we have seen the last of this trend. I did see, in a segment on This Morning, a debate between two women about whether or not it is possible to be a professional woman and not wear make-up. The woman arguing that for ‘no’ (it isn’t possible) said that if she was looking at a prospective employee who ‘didn’t care about their appearance’, then she would assume they wouldn’t take pride in their work either. On the other side, the woman argued that it is her skills that make her professional, not what she puts on her face. At the end of the day, if you take a make-up free day or a make-up free life, then go for it! It’s your face at the end of the day and if you’d rather an extra 15 minutes in bed in a morning, or if applying your make-up is the highlight of your day then both of those are okay!

Instagram: @toofaced

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The Courier

beauty .19

Monday 13 March 2017

thecourieronline.co.uk/beauty Instagram @courier_beauty | Twitter @CourierBeauty

Wig it up for extensions They’ve been used since the 18th century but Susanne Norris brings us the down-low on wigs and the modern woman and what impact hair extensions have had on her life

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must admit, I was pretty surprised everyone was so shocked by Katie Price’s confession that she wears wigs. I mean really, blonde locks like that are pretty hard to achieve for most women. It just struck me as being sad that all these women were berating Price for wearing a wig, partly because I couldn’t believe they cared but also because getting bald patches from stress can’t be easy. I mean after all, we all love Kylie when she gives us a glimpse of a different hair colour, so why should Katie be any different?

I just don’t see why women should ever give up wigs and extensions and forfeit the looks they love.

Kylie’s wigs for example have made her iconic. Everyone can picture her with the blue bob, or green tresses and who could forget the rose-gold do. If these looks make Kylie happy, then go girl and wear all the wigs you want. The public wait in anticipation for the next look she chooses, thus don’t really have a leg to stand on by criticising wigs. Similarly, we all fell head over heels in love with Little Mix’s all-blonde look at the BRITS. As a dark-haired girl, I can tell you all of them but Perrie had some help from a wig expert. They looked amazing and oozed confidence, we all went mad for it over Twitter, so yet again I think some serious wig appreciation is in store.

Although wig-wearing may seem like a trend that only catches on with celebs, extensions are not.

As a lover of hair extensions (I’ve been switching between clip-ins and micro-rings since I was 15) I just can’t see why people have an issue with wearing them. I’ve always wanted long princess hair but

achieving it naturally just didn’t work as I have fine hair, so I wear extensions instead. And you know what? It makes me feel fabulous. Whilst a lot of girls rock short-hair I hated looking in a mirror when I didn’t have long hair, extensions have really helped boost my confidence. And there’s no shame in this. Occasionally I get comments along the lines of ‘it’s such a waste of money’ or ‘short hair suits you’ but for me the money is worth it for the happiness having long hair gives me. I no longer put my hair in a bun constantly because I hate the length so much and I can actually curl my hair now. I’ve met loads of girls in Newcastle who also swear by micro-rings, they tell me every time it’s helped boost their confidence. Whilst I’m all for loving yourself in your natural state as self-love is the most important aspect when it comes to feeling beautiful, if having extensions makes you love yourself that little bit more then go for it.

With all this in mind, I don’t see how anyone

selves a confidence boost, change up their style, or for any other reason in fact, then that is good for them and I am totally behind them on it.

“Extensions have really helped boost my confidence”

could ever criticise another woman for wearing a wig or extensions. I mean to start with, it’s none of your business what other people choose to do with their hair anyway. Sitting at home on your laptop being rude about Katie Price’s wig doesn’t make you smart and funny, it makes you a sad person who gets a kick out of putting other women down, AKA making you the worst person ever. If women choose to wear wigs and extensions to give them-

Instagram: @ bombshellextensions

Light it up like dye-namite Fiona Millie Leishman has been experimenting with dying her own hair at home for years and shares with us her very own do’s and definitely do not’s of DIY hair colouring

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aving a freshly dyed ‘do can make the world of difference when it comes to your confidence, but maintaining your colour can be awfully expensive - especially as a student. Having not seen my natural hair colour in over three years, I daren’t add up how much money I have spent getting my hair dyed in the hairdresser. It was in my first year that I took the plunge into dyeing my own hair. One thing nobody told me about purple hair was just how difficult it was to maintain, but thanks to a £6 tube of dye that had more than one use in it I kept my colour looking fresh. I may have slightly ruined my bathroom in halls in the process, but it was a huge learning curve and meant that I’ve accumulated a list of tips and tricks to remember before you reach for the dye.

Image: Instagram @beautyizdead

Wear old clothes Preferably you want to be topless with a trusty carrier bag/bin liner acting as your barrier cape between the dye and your skin, but if you don’t have the luxury of wandering around topless then something old does the trick. Even if you are wearing an old t-shirt I would recommend still using your plastic bag cape, just to avoid any rogue dye from soaking through the fabric. Ideally you’re going to want something like a shirt where you can unbutton or unzip it down the front, as the motion of pulling your t-shirt over your head runs the risk of rubbing dye all over your face – purple splodges on your cheek are SO not sexy…

Nail varnish remover Honestly, this stuff works wonders. If you’ve had your hair dyed at the hairdresser you’ll know of the special wipes they have for when they accidentally get a bit on your skin, or if they’re like my hair dresser all over the salon. However, they aren’t the easiest thing to come by unless you hap-

Images: Instagram @lorealhair

pen to know a hairdresser and their supplier, so my cheap alternative is nail varnish remover. It’s safe to use on your sink, in your shower, on your tiles and even on your skin (as long as you remember to moisturise afterwards, otherwise it can leave your skin a little tight and dry).

t h e y only cost a few quid and as long as you remember to wash it once you’re done they’ll last for quite some time. Brush the dye onto your roots by sectioning it off and putting it to the side once you’ve dyed the roots before slathering the rest of the dye on the ends.

Start at the roots

Gloves

I know this one may seem a little obvious to some, but you have to resist the urge to just slap the dye all over your head if you’re wanting it to last. If you’re like me and have bleach hiding underneath the dye, your roots will be noticeably darker, but even if you don’t the hair that forms your roots is virgin hair and as such requires more time for the dye to develop.

The best way to do this is to invest in a brush,

Again, a very obvious one but one that even I have forgotten before. Gloves are vital unless you want funky coloured hands for the next week, not only when applying the dye but when you jump in the shower to wash it off at the end. The dye is coming out of your hair and will stain your hands until the dye still sitting on top has washed off.

7 stages of your hair-mare Beauty Ed Miranda Stoner knows all to well how traumatic a bad hair can be, follow her guide to coping

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ome days regardless of whether we prepped, primed, shampooed, conditioned then carefully blow-dried and styled our hair the night before, when morning comes the image we find reflected in the mirror is more beast than beauty.

You’d be lying if you said it had never happened to you- so here are the 7 stages of hair goal grief to help you understand your trauma and overcome any lasting damage.

The first stage is shock, the initial paralysis, as you stand frozen in front of the mirror, mouth agape and eyes wide. Who is that?

Then the denial rolls on. How can this have happened to you? You spend adequate time and money on those beautiful tresses; you are the last person who deserves this kind of setback in the morning. It can’t be true, maybe if you tie it up and get on with choosing today’s lipstick colour. Maybe by the time you’ve reached that pinnacle decision all hair troubles will be solved.

10 minutes later and you’re still looking less groomed than a wild raccoon; anger boils in your veins a deeper red than the Rouge Coco 446 ETIENNE you picked out. The beauty blender becomes your new stress ball as you try to resist pulling out every obedient hair on your head and smashing the mirror with a hefty Too Faced Palette.

“You stand frozen in front of the mirror, mouth agape and eyes wide. Who is that?”

After the red haze clears you try bargaining. If I promise that I will go without NYX products for the rest of my life and a day, will my fairy godmother appear magically from thin air and grant me my one wish- hair like a princess! No? I can live without my real techniques brushes too… what about my Tangle Teezer… my LUSH Dream cream…?

As it becomes ever clearer that my wish will not be granted no matter how many of my true loves I promise to abstain from, a swirling depression ascends. I guess even if my hair did look good there’s still the spot on my nose and the dark circles that even the least watery foundation couldn’t conceal.

It seems I am destined to a life of ugliness, maybe I should just put on a balaclava and make everyone’s life easier.

Two coffees and a bowl of porridge later and my resistance returns. Thus begins the testing- my mind starts forming realistic solutions. If I take 5 minutes of my daily morning yoga workout and another 5 out of choosing today’s outfit I have 20 minutes to brush, tame and style my hair. Or take an extra 5 minutes to put the culprit up into a bun and spray away those pesky flyaways. Decisions, decisions.

Half an hour later I leave the house with bouncing wave and an equally up beat mood. Taking the last empty seat- at the front obviously- on fleek and only 5 minutes late, no one would ever know!

Top hair picks for a messy morning Tangle Teezer: £10.50, johnlewis.com Nothing cures a bad hair day like a messy bun or a hat Cap: £16, Topshop.com Instagram: @ 7billionlie

20. arts

Monday 13 March 2017

The Courier

Arts Editors: Tamsin Daisy Rees and Jonathan Hastings Online Editor: Meg Holtom

LAUCH OF ART INSTALLATION

ACADEMIC WASTE

She’s beautiful when she’s angry Carys Rose Thomas expresses her thoughts on societies most poignant movements

Newcastle University Campus

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elena Lacey, final year BA Fine Art student at Newcastle University has designed, produced and curated the social sculpture Academic Waste on Newcastle University campus. Funded by Newcastle Institute of Creative Arts Practice, Academic Waste is a cross-collaboration visual arts installation that engages with recycling and decomposition as a sustainable and educational process.

On Newcastle University campus, three perspex cylinders showcase the waste output from the three academic departments: Engineering, Chemistry and English. The academic departments are represented by the recyclable materials metal, glass and paper. It is essential that these materials are recycled correctly in order to strive for a sustainable campus, and Academic Waste aims to provide an alternative way for staff and students to understand the impact of their waste and the necessity of recycling sustainably.

The launch of Academic Waste and accompanied publication, supported by Newcastle University Estate Support Service, will be held in the Newcastle University Fine Art Atrium, King Edward VII Building (see map below) on Wednesday 15 March 2017 from 5.00pm – 7.30pm, and is open to members of the public.

For more information contact: h.lacey@newcastle.ac.uk

LAING ART GALLERY ARTS GALLERY STUDENTS

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here will be a exhibition, created and displayed, by Newcastle University studentshowcasing the current art and theme installations they have been working on.

The exhibition will be held between the 10th March and 27th April 2017.

If you have any questions please contact the Laing Gallery: info@laingartgallery.org.uk

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he most important lesson I learned from Mary Dore’s film ‘She’s Beautiful When She’s Angry’ was that anger fuels action.

An area of our society irks us to the point that we can’t sit by and let it slide any longer. We take action, protest, push for change.

In this sense, it cannot be denied that an angry woman is a very brilliant, beautiful thing.

“It filled me with adoration and pride for the strength of my fellow women and their ability to join together and fight for rights they deserve”

This documentary about the modern women’s movement focussed mainly on the late1960s, but

what struck me was how much the film’s topics were still the subject of contemporary activism. Countless marches just like the recent women’s march on Washington, the fight for reproductive rights in the USA, as well as the fight for discussions about intersectionality within feminist organisations.

At first I found these comparisons somewhat bitter-sweet. It angered me that these brilliant women had fought for so much that was still having to be fought for 50 years later. However, as the film itself pointed out, nothing is permanent. The film reminded me that it is not only important to fight for the equal rights we do not yet have, but that we must also fight to uphold those rights that people before us fought for.

Cinematically, the film was a patchwork of modern interview clips, stitched side-by-side with shots of marches and meetings from the

60s. I especially liked when a photo of someone from the past was directly followed with a clip of them speaking in the present, which drove home how recently these events occurred. This emphasised that the fight for women’s rights isn’t some long gone settled issue, it’s a contemporary one.

“It cannot be denied that an angry woman is a very brilliant, beautiful thing”

The film was one of the most inspiring documentaries I’ve ever seen. It filled me with adoration and pride for the strength of my fellow women and their ability to join together and fight for rights they deserve. It made me want to get out there and join them in any and every way I can.

SPOTLIGHT:CharlotteHill WRITER, SURFER & PHOTOGRAPHER. If you want to keep updated with Charlotte’s work, follow @charlotterlhill

22. music

Monday 13 March 2017

The Courier

Music Editors: Sophie Ahmed, Serena Bhardwaj & Ben Grundy

Toon In Toby Bryant reviews Sigala’s gig/ DJ set at the O2 Academy

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J and hit-maker SIGALA brought his ‘Sigala Carnival’ to Newcastle at the end of February for what was a transportation to the beaches of the Caribbean.

The stage was adorned with a beach hut, scantilyclad dancers and cannons which fired out confetti and streamers throughout the show. The performance was far from your normal DJ set. SIGALA was on the decks, but spent more time using a synth pad and piano, whilst there was an entourage consisting of a guitarist, bassist, drummer, lead vocalists, backing vocalists and hype man surrounding him. This made for an impression of real live music. Quite how much the DJ actually did is questionable but the performance as a whole was joyous throughout.

I second that emotion

We all tend to listen to music that matches our mood and writer Gerry Hart explores how music has an influence on our emotions whilst giving a few recommendations to get your anterior insular active

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ccording to a recent study from our own Newcastle University, a physical basis has been found for misophonia, a condition wherein an intense “fight or flight” response is triggered by unpleasant sounds, resulting from how the Anterior Insula connects to the rest of the brain.

Now I couldn’t really comment on the implications of this study, and its worth bearing mind that it pertains to a real neurological condition. But it did get me thinking about the relationship between music and affect.

In psychological terms, affect can broadly be defined as emotion or a state of feeling whilst in a philosophical capacity as first elaborated by Baruch Spinoza, affect concerns anything which might alter the state of the body, including the mind. Obviously, this music plays heavily into this.

As far as music and affect goes, there are two key factors; the sound and the environment. Think about the kind of mood generated by modern club music. A lot of club music sounds echoey, almost ethereal with a consistent tempo, and any vocals a song might have will be soft and melodious. When combined with the environment (i.e. dark, sweaty nightclubs full of drunk people), it engenders a sense of euphoria (well for normal people at least.

Most club music just gives me a headache).

“Similarly the quieter moments will be much slower whilst the louder sections are faster and more frenetic”

The set opened with SIGALA’s latest single, and collaboration with Digital Farm Animals, ‘Only One’. Infectious club tunes like these were known by the whole of the sold out O2 Academy and it was hit after hit during the set. The DJ managed to persuade vocalist Imani Williams to join him on the tour who showcased her rising stock in the music industry with ‘Say You Do’. SIGALA kept the mood high with a smooth transition into a groovy remix of current clubbers’ favourite ‘Sexual’ by Neiked.

“The performance was far from your normal DJ set”

Halfway through the night the large entourage disappeared for ten minutes and SIGALA moved his decks forward to take the spotlight. What followed was a series of about five old school classics including ‘Seven Nation Army’ and ‘Jump Around’ in a format more similar to your classic DJ gig.

Nonetheless, these went down a treat amongst the crowd. Admittedly, somewhat surprisingly, as the O2 Academy was filled with teenagers still at school. Before entering the queue to be breathalysed, the Academy’s latest idea to fight underage drinking, stretched all the way down the road, halfway to the station!

The night climaxed with SIGALA’s two biggest hits to date. Bryan Christopher, the vocalist on ‘Sweet Lovin’’ came on stage to perform that track and was phenomenal. Credit must also be given to the two other singers who provided vocals for other tracks throughout the night and were outstanding, especially the MKEK-lookalike male singer who the crowd took a particular liking to. The feel-good atmosphere reached a climax for the final song ‘Easy Love’, which has 183 million streams on Spotify, and the crowd left wanting more but extremely satisfied with their night.

At the opposite end of the scale (and more to my weird taste) are bands like Disembowelment, an Australian Death/Doom metal group who are

“ ‘Affect’ concerns anything which might alter the state of the body”

What makes Disembowelment work so impactful however is their use of contrasts. Oftentimes, there will be a long period of silence between notes which is frequently followed by a frantic wall of noise. Similarly the quieter moments will be much slower whilst the louder sections are faster and more frenetic. This is a combination of a mixture of blast-beats, tremolo guitars and a combo of shrieks and death growls. Interspersed amongst the harsher instruments are clean guitars which again contrast with the crushing bass and guttural vocals incredibly well (indeed the one clean track, “The Nightside of Eden” is one of the album’s chilling highlights). I know I’ve probably bored most of you to tears by this point, but try listening to Transcendence into the Peripheral by yourself in the dead of night. I guarantee it will be one of the most isolating, haunting musical experiences you will have.

Naturally, all music utilises affect in some capacity, of which these are just two examples, but I feel they give a good overview of this fascinating topic.

So what have we learned? I dunno, Rhythm is a dancer I guess? That is unless you’re listening to Diesembowelment of course.

Interview Time: Lady Leshurr After a great gig, Jack Redley meets with the English rapper, singer, and producer What a great show! I noticed in the crowd, there were lots of very young fans; do you consciously try and appeal to a younger audience?

No, I don’t actually think I’m going to write this song because I think “this is going to appeal to a younger audience” but I think I’m just having fun, and I think the younger generation love to have fun more than the older generation. I think I just have different types of audiences and whoever feels me and understands my banter will comes to my show and see what I am all about.

I think personally if you’ve just come to my show for the first time and you don’t really know what I’m about, at least take something away from my set. I always think when I do my live shows that people need to break down the barrier of us all being human beings together, and my fans are incredibly important to me, they’re got me where I am today, and I am proof that you can do whatever you want to do! But, for sure, I want to motivate as well as give a work out to anyone watching my live shows!

Why do you keep referring to brushing your teeth – did you have a bad experience about someone breathing on your face or something?

Well, this guy at about 8 in the morning was sending me a good 7 tweets dissing me, saying I was ugly and that, so I tweeted back saying ‘I bet you haven’t ate any cornflakes, or even brushed your teeth yet, and you’re come online to dis me and be negative.’ And it got loads of retweets, so I thought I’d put it in a song and I did. You see with negativity, I always turn it in to positivity; I never let anybody get to me.

Did you always want to be an MC? I started poetry first, didn’t really know about hip hop or anything back then but then I started listening to Eminem and after I saw, ‘Hi, my name is,’ I knew I wanted to be a rapper. from 12 years old. I was like “I want to be him”. I was still doing acting and stuff, and that has really helped me in so far as performing is concerned because when you’re acting, you need to become a different person, so when I’m off stage, I’m not Lady Leshurr, but when I come on stage, I start acting road and I become Lady Leshurr. Not in a fake way, just because I need to get in to the mode!

Who are you listening to at the moment?

Depends on my mood, I listen to classical, rock, pop and all sorts. listen to a lot of Giggs, Bryson Tiller, Gecko, Tory Lanes, Sy Ra Da Kid You are incredibly motivational onstage, especially for the young girls who had come with their parents.

Is there any reason in particular that you try to motivate your fans in a general sense?

Photographs by Toby Bryant

often considered early pioneers of Funeral Doom (metalheads get very particular about their subgenres). Their sole album, 1993’s Transcendence into the Peripheral, is the closest thing I can think of to anti-club music. Like club music, Disembowelment songs is incredibly echoey, and with their lo-fi production, their music sounds like it was recorded in a sepulchre, which greatly enhances album’s overall impact

What was the biggest moment of your career?

Well, I always think there’s always another barrier to cross; I know I’ve done a lot for myself, and I’ve done a lot for town, but I know there is more to come. I think the point where I thought that things are actually happening was Queen’s Speech 4, because Samsung contacted us to do the advert, the Timbaland is reaching out, then Akon’s reaching

out, Alicia Keys is reaching out, and that’s when I knew this was really international now. This isn’t just England listening to me but this is America, Australia, New Zealand.

Do you see the female grime scene being as large as the male grime scene?

I personally don’t see it like there’s a female grime scene and a male grime scene, I just see it as a grime scene. We’re doing our thing and they’re doing there thing. We’re always going to have that stigma attached, with people saying “she’s good for a girl,” and “she’s a female spitter,” but that’s always going to happen, it’s never going to go. It’s like racism, it’s always going to be around, because certain people are ignorant, certain people are stereotypical.

What is still to come from Lady Leshurr in the future?

I definitely want to create a record label, which focuses on the females, and have female graphic designers, female drummers. I want to have a collective of people that are very talented that work with me as well as doing they’re on thing. A label with no strings attached, because a lot of these labels want you to sign on the dotted line and that’s it, and I don’t want that. I want people to work together as a team. I want to open up my own restaurant/youth club/babarshop, where everything is all in one place. And a trainer line. And I want to write my own book. I want to have my own drink. I want to have a salmon farm.

The Courier

music .23

Monday 13 March 2017

thecourieronline.co.uk/music c2.music@ncl.ac.uk

Gang Signs & Prayer B

Electronic Blanket Sarah Stephenson educates us on DJs smashing the LGBTQI+ electro scene and introduces us to the wider electronic music community

by Stormzy

efore giving my own view on Stormzy’s debut album, here are some facts about this record-breaking piece of music. Every single song has reached the top 100 - a feat previously achieved by only three other artists (Justin Bieber, Beyonce and The Weeknd) and 7 tracks reached the top 40. Gang Signs and Prayer reached number 1 in the Uk and Ireland on the back of the most first week streams of an album in chart history. Stormzy currently has 4.3 million monthly listeners. These numbers are usually reserved for international megastars - not a black man from Croydon. Gang Signs & Prayer puts to bed any claims of grime being a “phase”.

Through clever PR moves, Stormzy has quickly risen to become the face of grime.

In the past few weeks, he’s been on Sunday Brunch, performed with Ed Sheeran at the Brits and sat on the BBC Breakfast sofa with presenters Charlie Stayt and Louise Minchin.

However, Gang Signs & Prayer surpassess and transcends the genre of grime. It is an interweaving of grime, hip-hop, soul and R&B. GSAP illustrates the multitude of Stormzy’s capabilities and eradicates any stereotypes any listener may have previously held about grime. Unlike the sterilised, predictable nature of Anglo-Ameri-

Drunk

can rap concerning girls, cars and money, Stormzy tackles issues such as depression, racial profiling and gang culture.

GSAP kicks off (fittingly) with ‘First Things First’ and sets the murky undertone for an album so significant in terms of representing urban, underground culture. Next comes ‘Cold’, a track that epitomises what Stormzy and grime really are - relentless, narcotic and belligerent, Similarly, ‘Bad Boys’ sees little restraint from the so-called ‘WickedSkengman’ as he condemns the superficiality of certain people who lead the ‘hood life’.

Despite these grime tracks being the main attraction towards Stormzy’s debut, the album possesses real variety as illustrated by tracks such as the gospel-inspired ‘Blinded By Your Grace pt. 1 and 2’ and ‘21 Gun Salute’ with Wretch 32. Stormzy transforms into a soulful, introspective and reflective singer and, whilst his singing may not be his strongest suit, it demonstrates Stormzy’s versatility.

The best of the more R’n’B vibes is seen in the laidback ‘Cigarettes and Cush’ where Stormzy’s voice intertwines with guest Lily Allen and a piano - not your stereotypical grime instrument. Additionally, the album’s final track ‘Lay Me Bare’ is seriously emotive as Stormzy reflects on his internal selfdoubt and struggling to find direction. By touching upon his difficult relationship with his father, the album comes to a sombre end.

“GSAP surpasses and transcends the genre of grime”

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hundercat has released an ambitious nujazz suite, and it’s as fresh and welcome as his output has ever been. His bass playing is just as virtuosic, his lyrics just as tongue-incheek (including, thankfully, on the track ‘Friend Zone’ -- which is much better than it sounds), his vocalisations silky and polished. Musicality is never sacrificed for the groove, but thankfully Bruner brings plenty of both to the record, and the production is the kind of perfect imperfect that makes co-producer Flying Lotus so reputed -- though the occasional submission to hip hop convention grates a little, like the crackling records on ‘A Fan’s Mail (Tron Song Suite II)’.

“Musicality is never sacrificed for the groove” Much like scratched vinyl, though, this is a retroinfused album with influences all over the place, a chorus of analogue synths comping over harmonies that refuse to stay put. Some of the dissonant calland-response vocals, like on ‘Bus In These Streets’, reminded me of Steely Dan, so it’s no surprise that frequent Steely Dan collaborator Michael McDonald guests on ‘Show You The Way’. The crown jewel of the album, though, is ‘Inferno’. The song might be about the hells we make for ourselves, but the chords are heavenly. A drum machine marks out the beat as drunkenly as the album title suggests, as disconcerting string harmonics paint a pessimistic picture.

It’s no coincidence that ‘Inferno’ is one of the longest tracks on the album. With so many tracks running for two minutes or less, it’s difficult to savour any of them individually, but this does force the listener to savour the whole album instead -and much like the drink, it’s all too easy to keep coming back.

Jess Weisser

that accelerated Stormzy’s rise so dramatically you view it in a different light to the one you hear people attempt to rap along to in an overpriced House of Smith club night.

Gang Signs & Prayer is undoubtedly one of the

“Gang Signs & Prayer is undoubtedly one of the most significant albums of the decade”

most significant albums of the decade - arguably, the best debut album in that period too. It’s emblematic of a grime movement which has changed so much since Dizzee Rascal’s 2003 ‘Boy In Da Corner’. Grime is the genre older generations struggle to understand - and it’s here to stay.

The song of the album though is its lead single - the colossal ‘Big For Your Boots’. The beat, the speed , the flow all make the track simply infectious. By the time we reach ‘Shut Up’ - the track

Ben Grundy HNDRXX/Future

Flying Mocrotonal Banana

Thundercat

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“Stormzy tackles issues such as depression, racial profiling and gang culture”

King Gizzard and The Lizard Wizard

Future

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ver the mystery, stick-talking Atlanta rapper Future recently dropped two albums in the space of 8 days. A year on from his lukewarm fourth studio album EVOL, the scene has changed so dramatically, with young stars like Lil Yachty rising through the ranks. These two albums out of nowhere pose an eminent question… Can the king of trap music make a meaningful resurgence that keeps him relevant in an extremely competitive 2017?

In an exclusive interview with Zane Lowe upon the album’s release Future spoke at length about how different the two albums are. Self-titled entry FUTURE is full of heavy trap beats and typical lyricism. Car brands and cooking dope. It’s a very safe affair and the 17-track bombardment lacks a feature. This leads to the whole thing blending in to one 808-laden, head nodding experience that is passable but ultimately lacks innovation.

HNDRXX on the other hand is a bold little al-

ith the announcement of five new albums to be released in 2017, fans of the mad Australian psychedelic rockers could only guess at what twist their music would next take; as previous releases have shown, King Gizzard are no strangers to musical and stylistic experimentation. This time, it has come in the form of microtonality This is perhaps King Gizzard’s darkest and least accessible work to date. FMB is rife with Middle Eastern and Indian influences beyond simply the microtonal element, including the use of a recorder-like instrument called the zurna and embracing a hypnotic, droney quality throughout. Opening track ‘Rattlesnake’ deploys this ingeniously, resembling a typical (if slightly out of tune) King Gizzard song at first, but building up to a climax of an incredible, unhinged melody that demonstrates the complexities and value of incorporating microtonaliy beyond just novelty.

Other highlights include dark nautical epic ‘Open Water’, with rich imagery and disorienting melodies indeed reflecting the troubling and prophetic lyrics whilst Western ballad ‘Billabong Valley’ puts a distinctly Middle Eastern twist on the genre.

“King Gizzard’s darkest and least accessible work to date” Tracks such as ‘Anoxia’ and ‘Nuclear Fusion’ fail to make much of an impact, by which point one has become largely accustomed to the strange harmonies and droney style. FMB makes a fine addition to the ever-expanding King Gizzard canon. Having seen mixed reactions from both critics and fans, perhaps this is one that will retrospectively be better appreciated, as is often the case for experimental works.

Charlie Isaac

E

“Where the self-titled album feels like a cash in, HNDRXX feels like a brave step in the right direction ”

bum. I never thought I’d hear Future harmonize with Rihanna on an RnB power ballad like he does on ‘Selfish’, but here we are. The BPM is nearly halved and Future muses about past relationships and his emotions, channelling Kanye on TLOP. My favourite track on the album is one of his most experimental.

Where the self-titled album feels like a cash-in, HNDRXX feels like a brave step in the right direction. Future is carving a new road for himself after backing himself into a corner, and hopefully this means more collaboration with a wide range of artists and a rapper prepared to push the boundaries of a genre that he’s finished dominating.

Jordan Oloman

ntersessions, an inclusive sound initiative providing safe spaces for women and LGBTQI+ folk hosted their first ever series of sound workshops in Glasgow on March 4th. The event was led by producers E.M.M.A and Nightwave who in February, posted an application on various social media platforms calling for anyone who wanted to learn how to produce electronic music but had never had the chance or resources to do so before. With only fifteen spaces advertised, it was requested that those accepted bring their own laptop and headphones but that Ableton software would be provided on the day. Otherwise, the event was free. The workshop ended with a party open to everyone - DJs Rebecca Vasmant and Toronto-based Chippy Nonstop joining the organisers. This is a really positive step towards acknowledging the lack of representation marginalised folks have in the electronic music scene, from all-male lineups to complaints from women DJs who do get booked that when entering the club, they’re immediately assumed to be the girlfriend of the other performing acts. E.M.M.A and Nightwave are looking to expand this workshop series to various UK venues in the future.

You need to listen to: ‘Feeling Romantic Feeling Tropical Feeling Ill’ by Micachu Mica Levi has gained a lot of attention lately from her self-produced soundtrack to the 2016 film Jackie. This is just one in a series of ongoing musical projects that range from pop duo Tirzah, Micachu and the Shapes and a soundtrack to Jonathan Glazer’s 2014 film Under the Skin, to name a few. Not settling into a mould or brand as an artist seems to be Levi’s thing and it is refreshing. Feeling Romantic Feeling Tropical Feeling Ill is an intense and sometimes confusing mix of delayed violins, guitars and scattered beats.

The album is divided into three sections that relate to the title, navigating in mood rather than genre which makes me reluctant to categorise it at all. A lot of the sounds explored in Under the Skin influenced the overall feeling of the album that would come to follow. It’s easy to listen to Levi’s compositions and take each track as a series of unstructured noise, but with knowledge of her classical background, you start to realise that each note is probably really carefully calculated.

Feeling Romantic Feeling Tropical Feeling Ill isn’t easy listening but it does showcase the technical breadth and talent of Levi’s ongoing craft. It’s an exciting time for the producer who has recently claimed to be in the midst of writing a score for a film that hasn’t even been made yet.

Preview: Ruf Dug @ World HQ – 18th March Ruf Dug is resident DJ at Manchester’s Soup Kitchen. He also juggles managing self-started record label Ruf Kutz with hosting a monthly NTS radio show and touring venues around the UK. Self-proclaimed selector of ‘original tropical cyberpunk’, the style and sounds he produces aptly reflects this title. It’s releases like his 2015 debut Island, showcasing watery hang drum beats and slow burning hooks that truly represent his sound. Ruf Dug’s tracks are also said to be the go-to for DJs such as Moodymann, Ben UFO and Padilla, making him a household name in the wider electronic music community. After listening to a few of his Boiler Room sets online, it’s seems like an energetic and eclectic set is to be expected.

Go follow us on intagram for live gig updates, fun pictures and the latest music gossip-

24.television

Monday 13 March 2017

The Courier

TV Editors: Luke Acton, Alison Scurfield and Dominic Corrigan

Throwback: Merlin

Kassie Hopewell looks back at the 2008 BBC classic.

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he latest BBC Saturday or Sunday night viewing has been pretty dark and not exactly what you’d call family friendly. For example we currently have SS-GB, an ‘if the Nazi’s won’ story; pre that it was Taboo: a violent story of conflict in London with Tom Hardy and before Taboo was one of the more intense series of Sherlock.

Secretly we all miss those good old BBC Saturday night shows. Everyone knows them, the poor graphics, relatively unknown actors with a handful of celebrities thrown in, and the reasonably simple storylines – none of those overarching and complicated series-long plots that Moffat has adopted for Doctor Who.

“The five season long show has been highly ranked in the BBC’s Saturday night history, having cultivated a wide following and helping kick start several careers”

One such programme is Merlin. The 5 series long show has been highly ranked in the BBC’s Saturday night history, bringing a wide following and helping kick start several careers. Merlin is the origins story of Prince Arthur and the powerful warlock Merlin and follows the saga from Merlin’s first move to Camelot and his fractious start as personal servant to Prince Arthur, destined to be the Arthur of legend.

Stars included Antony Head (Buffy the Vampire Slayer) as the ruthless King Uther; Richard Wilson as Gaius, Merlin’s mentor and father figure and John Hurt as the voice of the Dragon. Any fans of the show will remember with fondness the dragon.

This was possibly the best display of the low budget the show seemed to have allocated to its animation and graphics team, despite the show being based around magic and the various mythical creatures Merlin and Arthur encounter in the legends.

“Colin Morgan and Bradley James’ dynamic often carried the show when the plot became a little dubious”

However many fans loved to hate the poorly done special effects, and they could be forgiven due to the high quality of medieval costume and set. For example Camelot castle as seen is not a poorly put together mixture of in studio and green screen but in fact the Chateau Pierrefonds in France. This sets an impressive scene for the episodes.

The newcomers to our attention were the main characters: fairly unknown Colin Morgan (Merlin) and Bradley James (Arthur). James’ arrogant and handsome Arthur off set the clumsy but powerfully magic Merlin and the pair’s dynamic often carried the show when the plot became a little dubious.

Morgan in particular has used his role as Merlin to further his career and has recently starred with Tom Hardy in the Cray twins film Legend. Bradley James starred in Fast Girls.

A particular strength of the show was that with lots of stories pre-existing due to the many legends the series had enough stamina to continue past those of Robin Hood and Atlantis. For example where Robin Hood dipped in its viewership for the 3rd series, Merlin saw a consistent number of fans tuning in each week, which even increased into the 4th series.

All in all, there’s definitely a current gap in the market for a bit of light entertainment on the BBC Saturday evening slot. Throw a few new actors in with some ageing celebrities and pick another bit of mythology to play with.

Game of Thrones spin off?

They won’t really let it end: could the final season planned for 2017 be just the beginning of a new chapter for the fantasy epic cash-cow? Jacob Clarke considers all of the possibilities

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he most popular TV phenomenon of recent history, maybe even all time, is Game of Thrones. Every aspect of the tale based on George R.R Martin’s fantasy epic, from the amoral characters, unexpected plot twists and twisted violence has left us engrossed for years.

But soon we will no longer be able to look forward to 10 hours of brilliance every year, with David Benioff and D.B Weiss announcing the muchloved fantasy will reach a close after season 8 in 2018, leaving us very little time with our favourite bunch of wannabe royals.

“Robert’s rebellion is a very rich idea for a spin off series that could take up just as much time”

However, over the years there has always been talk of a spinoff due to expectations that the series must end at some point, even the creators of the show have entertained the idea: “There are so many characters and such a rich detailed history behind it that there are a lot of different ways you could go with it.” Said showrunner D.B We i s s , sug-

gesting the idea of a spinoff isn’t completely off the books. There have been plausible and some less plausible ideas of what a spinoff could look like.

One of my favourite ideas, if an unlikely one, is to follow the adventures of Gendry. Who is Gendry you ask? Don’t worry the showrunners forgot about him too. Gendry was the bastard son of previous king Robert Baratheon. He played a pretty large role in earlier seasons, however was forced to escape Stannis and his indoctrination into Melisandre’s sacrifice to the lord of the light.

Gendry escaped on a canoe and has not been seen again for over 3 seasons. What happened to him, why has it taken it so long to get anywhere on his boat when only last season we saw Theon sail all the way to Essos from the Iron Islands in a matter of episodes. Did Gendry die? Was he captured? We need some closure on this.

Robert’s rebellion against the Mad King is a very rich idea for a full spinoff series that could take up just as much time as Game of Thrones. A Game of

Thrones prequel if you will. This idea would be far more attractive to current viewers as it would still be focused on characters that have been in the original show. It may be able to bring back our deceased favourites such as Ned, Catelyn, and even Hodor. This would mean an even deeper look at already established characters’ stories such as Daenerys’ travels to Essos with her brother, how life was for the young starks and Theon. It would allow us to gain some background motivation and development of our favourite characters even if they aren’t directly linked to the rebellion itself.

“Many extremely popular shows have had extremely unsuccessful spin offs”

The question is, would a spinoff be a good idea? Many extremely popular shows have had extremely unsuccessful spinoffs, the mega hit Friends had the catastrophically unfunny Joey, something the creator of GoT would want to avoid. however other spinoffs have had more fan success, such as the Buffy spinoff, Angel, which had the same writers and a similar feel. So, if a spinoff of our favourite fantasy is to succeed it needs to be done right, by sticking to the source material and giving us what they know already works.

House of Cards has a new showrunner New writers take the wheel to join the backlash against Trump. Toby Bryant has a look

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he ground-breaking and supremely popular House of Cards has been commissioned for Season 5, available on 30th May, but there will be some major changes to your favourite political drama.

After series four finished last year, showrunner Beau Willimon announced his departure from the show. In a statement at the time Netflix thanked Willimon for “his strong narrative vision for House of Cards over the show’s first four seasons” before wishing him the best for “his next creative adventure”. According to The Hollywod Reporter, sources close to Willimon reported that he had plans to go on and invest his time into writing an original play however, the former showrunner has recently made headlines for his strong anti-Trump rhetoric more than anything else.

“The creators have a desire to avoid a huge shake-up in format, although a number of changes to freshen up the show, which was losing popularity, seem inevitable”

Quite what this means for the storyline and characters remains to been seen and, speculation aside, we will have to wait until late May to find out. Taking over from Willimon are Melissa James Gibson and Frank Pugliese. Gibson and Pugliese were senior writers on the show but have now taken roles as co-showrunners for the new season.

This promotion from within perhaps hints at the creators’ desire to avoid a huge shake-up in format, although a number of changes to freshen up the show, which was losing popularity, seem inevitable.

There hasn’t been much change in cast mem-

bers with the main characters all remaining. Kevin Spacey and Robin Wright will return as Frank and Claire Underwood whilst Michael Kelly will continue in the role as Doug Stamper. That said, there are some new faces on the block. Patricia Clarkson (Pieces of April, Six Feet Under) and Campbell Scott (Royal Pains, The Amazing Spider-Man) have been recruited and could pose the latest threats to the Underwood candidacy.

“There are some new faces on the block who could pose the latest threats to the Underwood candidacy”

Photos of Clarkson in the ‘White House’ talking with Claire Underwood have surfaced, as have images of Scott and Will Conway, Frank’s 2016 election opposition, which give us hints as to their roles. Neve Campbell and Joel Kinnaman, who play LeAnn Harvey and Conway, will also both return but Frank’s former chief of staff Remy Danton will not feature as actor Mahershala Ali, recently seen in critically acclaimed film Hidden Figures, has bowed out.

Producers have also been very tight-lipped on the plot of Season 5.

The most that fans have to speculate around is Michael Kelly’s, who plays Doug Stamper, warning that fans might “lose characters

that you love”. The storyline is likely to continue on from Frank’s declaration of war on terror group ICO and the ever-complicated Underwood relationship. Rumours have also spread that the show will reference Donald Trump, given the similarities between the controversial candidates. With Kelly’s warning we could also see a vital character die. Frank does seem the most likely, he suffered health problems in season four, with some viewers even going as far as to suggest that a powercrazy Claire could commit murder.

Whilst there is guaranteed to be some change for season five of House of Cards, the show does need refreshing after all, there is a lot of evidence to suggest that producers are intent on keeping the fundamentals in place. To see how Frank Underwood is coping as President be sure to check out the new series on May 30th.

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Monday 13 March 2017

thecourieronline.co.uk/tv c2.tv@ncl.ac.uk | @courier_tv

Broadchurch

ITV, Mondays, 9pm

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he third and final installment of ITV’s Broadchurch began last week, with the first episode involving an investigation into the attack of a woman at a friend’s 50th birthday party.

“Fans of the show will remember Colman’s incredible performance in this climactic scene, which landed her a welldeserved BAFTA the following year”

The first series, which aired back in 2013, kept viewers gripped for eight weeks as residents of the seaside town of Broadchurch were interrogated by detectives Alec Hardy (David Tennant) and Ellie Miller (Olivia Colman) for the murder of 11-year-old schoolboy, Danny Latimer. Hardy and Miller left no stone unturned in their investigations, but the eventual reveal of the killer in the series finale brought about a satisfyingly shocking, yet heartbreaking twist to the story. Fans of the show will remember Colman’s incredible performance in this climactic scene, which landed her a well-deserved BAFTA the following year. Series two, however, didn’t quite live up to the same standards. After setting the bar so high in the first series, it’s hardly surprising that the same captivation was not quite reached. The storyline at times felt forced and wasn’t nearly as memorable as the first time round. When the news came, then, that Broadchurch would return for a final series, it left me questioning whether you can have too much of a good thing, and if this show had already ran it’s course.

“This series is sure to be one you wish you could binge-watch in one go; something that was lost along the way in series two” Gogglebox

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Channel 4, Thursdays, 9pm

he second episode of the new series is not short of laughs for the channel 4 favourite Gogglebox. After Northern lass Scarlett Moffat announced that she and her family would not be returning to the hit show, many people were disappointed to see her leave, after being a much loved and much quoted member of the County Durham TV family since 2014.

However, the show began with a classic bickering spat between Liverpudlians Leon and June; “There’s three people in this marriage Leon- me, you and the fridge”, the couple discussed while analysing the new ITV programme The Nightly Show, hosted by David Walliams. Many of the Goggleboxer’s were disgusted as the news was pushed back by half an hour to make room for the chat show, and they were scathing in their reviews.

Tremaine, Twaine and Tristan were perplexed as to why they were watching “a woman with a monkey at 10 o’clock at night.”

Stephen and Christopher from Brighton said that “Someo n e has clearly been held hostage at ITV” and quite rightly the Siddiqui family said what everyone else was thinking “you want Clooney not Clunes” to launch a nightly show, in reference to the rather mediocre guest choice of Martin Clunes.

Merry Berry’s BBC programme was new for the Goggleboxer’s this week. The Queen of baking s h owe d

I was pleasantly surprised, however, at the first of this eight-episode long series. Opening with a woman who had been attacked, before mysteriously going missing for a few days, then turning up at the police station, this new storyline immediately seemed to hark back to the enthrallment felt in first series. Opening episodes of crime dramas are often slow-starting as characters and storylines are established, but this episode was far from dull and this series is sure to be one you wish you could binge-watch in one go; something last was lost along the way in series two. It was difficult not to empathise with the attacked woman, who was left confused and distressed, but the identity of her attacker is not the only mystery set to play out this series. She clearly has secrets of her own, as she showed reluctance to give her full name to the detectives at first, and the carrier bag containing the rope that had been used to tie her up, that was uncovered in the final seconds of the episode, was from the shop that she worked in.

The storyline of the woman, who’s name was eventually revealed to be Trish, took up the first half of the e pi -

sode, with the Latimer family being reintroduced after the second ad-break. It was easy to forget that they’d existed before this point, but Beth was weaved into the story through a new job at the crisis centre that Trish had been referred to. This bringing together of new and old characters appeared somewhat weak and it felt as though the shows’ writers were unnecessarily clutching at straws in order to keep the previous storylines running, when they could easily have been left behind in series two. The newly introduced storyline is promising and certainly seems to hold enough weight to stand alone. Hopefully ties with old storylines won’t hold it back as the series progresses.

One thing that rightly remains from previous the series, however, is the love-hate relationship between Hardy and Miller.

Tennant and Colman a r e a joy to watch togethe r, with their at times parent-andchild-like tiffs, Hardy’s mood swings and Miller’s nobullshit attitude, you can’t help but love them. Catch up now on ITV Player.

Alison Scurfield

Joel’s Dead Good Shows:

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t’s likely you’ve heard of Stranger Things, even if you haven’t watched it! The Netflix series only premiered last year and already has its own cult following with memes, Reddit theories and even a pretty cool Christmas jumper out there on the web. With a second season airing in October, you have plenty of time to catch up on season one’s 8 episodes before the show’s return.

Here’s why you should…

Stranger Things is reminiscent of 80s horror and sci-fi, and it pays homage to such; it’s rampacked with references to the likes of Alien, The Goonies and A Nightmare on Elm Street amongst many others. Set in the fictional town of Hawkins, Indiana, in the 80s, the shows follows 12 year old Will Byers’ (Noah Schnapp) family and friends as they search for the missing youngster. Their hunt is intertwined with the storyline of Eleven (Millie Bobby Brown), a mysterious young girl with some pretty impressive abilities who’s on the run from something. I won’t say much more about the plot because I’d hate to spoil it for you, and where’s the fun in that?

“The most recognisable face for viewers is Winona Ryder, who takes the role of Will’s mother, Joyce”

viewers how to make a banging breakfast with her bacon rosti and eggs taking centre stage. Leon was all of us when he pointed out that he couldn’t do her recipes on his diet, looking for June’s approval as always.

“Ellie and Izzie, from Leeds, were engaged in a more quirky discussion over how Izzi couldn’t be bothered to reach for a spoon, so decided to make one out of her foil yoghurt lid”

Scott from the McCormick family described Mary’s cooking as being is like “foodography” for the tv viewers, while Ellie and Izzi from Leeds were engaged in a more quirky discussion over how Izzi couldn’t be bothered to reach for a spoon, so decided to make one out of her foil yoghurt lid. Ellie was thoroughly disgusted by her sisters invention while sipping on her wine in judgement, yet again proving Gogglebox can’t get anymore relatable for students. Of course, the whole Oscar’s debacle came up for the avid TV viewers. With the Leeds girls shocked like many of us, the Siddiqui family were there to sum up the event in their own

fashion. “This is an insight into the mind of America, they’re having a bit of a brain fart moment.”

They mulled over the theory that Warren Beaty knew what was going on but decided to show it to Faye Dunaway to pass the blame. But the show couldn’t end on such a predictable note. TV doctor Gabriel Weston was a subject of conversation over her new programme about unusual medical issues, the show kicked off with a woman who had the worlds loudest scream. Julie, the mother of the Malone family preceded to give her version. As a typically quiet member of the clan, this was both unexpected to me as a TV viewer and her family, with husband Tom yelling “They’ll think I’m killing ya” in his Manchester accent.

Sian Dickie

The most recognisable face for viewers is likely Winona Ryder, who takes on the role of Will’s mother, Joyce. A single mother who works hard yet struggles with the demands of motherhood, Joyce is a character you immediately sympathise with.

Although Ryder may be the most familiar face, the stars of the show are most definitely the young boys (and Eleven) who risk their own lives in search of their friend Will: Gaten Matarazzo is particularly lovable as the bullied Dustin Henderson; Caleb McLaughlin brings the group’s scepticism as Lucas Sinclair; and Finn Wolfhard takes on the heroic leader of the gang, Mike Wheeler. It should also be said that the Wheeler family are pretty entertaining viewing in themselves. There’s a bit of family drama, some awkward teenage trysts and without the Wheeler’s we wouldn’t get to meet fan-favourite Barbara ‘Barb’ Holland (Shannon Purser).

Barb is the bestie of the eldest Wheeler child, Nancy (Natalia Dyer). The latter is a typical 80s heroine: intelligent; attractive; and *shocker* even one of the popular guys at school wants to date her.

Barb on the other hand is a nerd, plain and simple.

With ginger hair, specs and a constant concern surrounding Nancy’s growing popularity, Barb is most definitely not the leading-lady type. As a Vulture article pointed out; most of us go through life trying to become one of the ‘Nancys’, yet we’re actually with the ‘Barbs’. Barb is more realistic to fans: she’s not as slender as Nancy; her hair isn’t as glamorous; and she’s far from popular at school. #ImWithBarb

“It’’s an adventure yet with some dark twists and turns” Maybe watching a bunch of kids on a heroic quest to find their friend doesn’t appeal to you, but it’s actually what makes the show so great. The nostalgia of being reminded of classics most of us grew up on like The Empire Strikes Back is awesome, but combine this with the nostalgia of being a 12 year old running round the neighbourhood with your friends, and you can’t help but enjoy the concept of children as leads. It’s an adventure yet with some dark twists and turns, so it’s not exactly a Disney Channel original movie kind of adventure. So what are you waiting for? Get binge watching tonight or else something may come for you…

Joel Leaver

26.filmfeatures

Monday 13 March 2017

The Courier

Film Editors: Emma Allsopp, Zoë Godden & Simon Ramshaw

The Moonlight mix-up mystery

Was the wrong Best Picture announcement truly an honest mistake, or is there a greater conspiracy afoot? Calum Trenaman investigates what really went on behind-the-scenes

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Toy Story 2 (1999) In the fourth instalment of our superior sequels quadrilogy, Helena Buchanan goes to infinity and beyond to look at Pixar’s first ever follow-up film - but is it truly better than the original featurelength computer animated film?

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his article has brought on a mild existential crises. I grew up with the firm belief that I hated the original Toy Story, it was not merely the case that the second was better, but the first was a bad film. Having rewatched both of them however, I see how wrong I was, and indeed wonder where my prejudice came from.

I began by watching the second. It had been a bad day and I wanted to dispel my bad mood and believed that watching the first one would only worsen it. Having cheered myself exponentially, I felt strong enough to sit through the dreaded first and thus, I think, I discovered the source of my prejudice.

“I never realised how much I had underrated Evil Dr Pork Chop” I am a purist at heart - I find it extremely difficult to ever admit that a sequel or adaptation can be better than an original. Much as I love both the film and the play, I must resist the urge to scream when someone refers to “that song from Mamma Mia!” rather than “that ABBA banger”. But the Toy Story conundrum has never been a challenge, though it contradicts the ‘superiority of the original’ complex integral to my soul. But, as I say, I believe I solved the riddle.

I watched the second Toy Story first. Not just on this occasion but in my life in general; I spent a large portion of my childhood believing Toy Story 2 was the name of the film, rather than an indicator that it was a sequel (I was a child OK whatever shut up) so when I watched the first it was like a weird prequel. (I’m not entirely sure if I’ve now overturned my own argument and ruined this column…)

Much as I have come to accept that the first Toy Story is, in fact, amazing (of course it is; the people who made the second and third could not have messed up that monumentally), I still believe (no, it is not stubbornness) that the second is the best.

Firstly, it’s the scene with Geri the toy repairman.

I don’t know what is so satisfying about this, but it is fabulous. Secondly, Jessie. Who doesn’t love her?

A sassy lady determined to save the characters at the end who won’t be put in a box. The development of characters besides Woody and Buzz also makes the second that much better; I never realised how much I had underrated Evil Dr Pork Chop.

Therefore, though scenes of Buzz drunk on Earl Grey and having an identity crisis and the moving moment when the conventionally unattractive toys fix rather than eat him, Toy Story 2 still wins. Controversial, I know, but that’s that.

hat happened at the Academy Awards this year was unprecedented. With not a single non-white nominee for one of the four acting categories in the previous two years, two black actors won Oscars this year: Mahershala Ali for Moonlight and Viola Davis for Fences. Yet, this wasn’t even the story of the night.

If you do not know what happened, let me briefly summarise. The winner for Best Picture was announced as the favourite, La La Land. Halfway through speeches, however, there was commotion and one of the La La Land producers announced there was a mistake; the wrong card had been given to presenters Warren Beatty and Faye Dunaway, and that Moonlight was the real winner. Stunned, confused and taken aback, the show went on, with host Jimmy Kimmel wrapping up the show soon after.

In Trump’s America though, we must always ask ourselves: is this the real truth? Or is this fake news?

Alternative facts? Something didn’t seem right to me, it seemed too simple, too convenient that the PwC accountant in charge of the cards take the fall

for this mistake. Too convenient that poor, elderly Warren Beatty be made to look the senile fool for this. Something was out of place. I’ve been unable to sleep. I’ve played the tape back again and again.

It controls me and haunts me. A dissertation on Ernest Hemingway had to wait. Now, after much digging, I give you What Really Happened.

“It seemed too simple, too convenient for the PwC accountant in charge to take the fall for this mistake”

Our story begins in 2012. A coalition between the Lib Dems and Tories is in full swing.

Spain has won the UEFA Euro tournament in South Africa. The amount of Marvel Comics-related film and TV production is still at an acceptable level. The Academy Awards for the year’s releases are coming up. When the nominations are released there isn’t much surprise, except a notable absence. Nicolas Winding Refn’s Drive has only one nomination (Sound Editing) despite being one of the films of the year. Indeed, well-respected film critics Peter Travers and Richard Roeper rate it as their film of the year for their respective publications. Shock as Winding Refn and main star Ryan Gosling’s efforts are overlooked.

Skip forward five years, everyone on stage is stunned, bar one. Gosling. Cameras caught him laughing and struggling to hide his laughter as payback for the pain of that snub was finally taken.

An unnamed insider saw him messing around backstage in the build-up. All the signs point to the beautiful Canadian bastard. He planted the dodgy card.

But with Winding Refn absent, he needed an accomplice. Enter Faye Dunaway. Once Hollywood’s darling, her time to shine has passed.

Now starring in those movies that you scroll past on Netflix, those close to her have claimed she misses the spotlight. And this is how Gosling recruited her. One last chance to be on people’s lips, to be talked of, to be the subject of gossip.

That is why she announced it with such conviction when Beatty hesitated. She lit the fuse then got the hell of out there, not seen again for the rest of the night. I imagine she is sipping on a glass of wine in St. Tropez, wryly smiling at the destruction she has left in her wake. Gosling himself though finally has closure. As for me, I suppose I’d better get back to Hemingway.

Senpai-ed away: Miyazaki noticed us

After retiring in 2013, the world’s most famous anime director announced his truimphant return. Christopher Wilkinson looks at Miyazaki’s legacy and his hopes for his next film

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alking into the board rooms of a perniciously cold office building in downtown Tokyo in the late 1980s, Hayao Miyazaki declared that he did not want to finish the production of My Neighbour Totoro. The material wasn’t long enough to be made into a film; the internal rivalry between himself and fellow Ghibli co-founder Isao Takahata was becoming far too stressful, and the film itself was composed of ‘silly’ characters – one specific ‘catbus’ raising eyebrows.

By the end of 1988, a younger sister had been added, increasing the film’s length, the names of the ‘silly’ characters were dancing around the media as well as the lips of every child in Japan, and a rivalry was soon eclipsed as My Neighbour Totoro was beginning its ascent to being one of the greatest animation pieces of all time.

It may bring a single tear to know that one of the sweetest examples of sisterly love came out of productive expediency, but floods surely well when contemplating the idea that Totoro was almost never made. It wasn’t the first of Miyazaki’s films (Castle of Cagliostro being his first fully credited film). But possessing the fullness of an artistic masterpiece, it became the guide which drew light upon a small animation company that would, over the course of 20 years, bring stories of wonder and emotional maturity to the young and the not-soyoung.

“Miyazaki’s gift of looking into the human character is far too sharp and irrepressible” So when Miyazaki announced his retirement from the film industry in 2013, it was very much to everyone’s sadness. Signing off his voluminous career with the very personal and intimate film The Wind Rises, he embarked into solitude, resigned to spending the rest of his 72 years old life cloistered in the Studio Ghibli Museum tending to the precious memories he had collected in his 50 years of filmmaking.

And now, he is back. With news that Ghibli is developing a film set to be released in 2019 – based upon a short story from the Studio Ghibli museum - the animation world is glowing with the knowledge that Miyazaki is at its helm. But it is largely unsurprising.

“The animation world is glowing with the knowledge that Miyazaki is at the helm of Ghibli’s next film” lm”

Throughout his career, Miyazaki has explored ideas and themes which have been left untouched elsewhere. Princess Mononoke, Nausicaa, Spirited Away, Howl’s Moving Castle – all these are films which deal, in some large or small way, with environmentalism, with pacifism, with war, with feminism and globalisation and individualism. Such restless and powerful themes cannot simply be walked away from, and Miyazaki speaks with the power of a prophet when doing what he does best.

It would be wrong, however, to describe M i y a z a k i ’s

works as solely politically motivated. Miyazaki sees the ghosts of things. He can see the seams of life as they decorate and as they are unwoven.

He can watch the joy and happiness of human life as it blindly proceeds, yet trace moments of such precise and subtle melancholy into the picture that they are almost imperceptible.

To say that he is past his prime is nonsense: Miyazaki’s gift of looking into the human character is far too sharp and irrepressible. And with the world being far stranger than 20 years ago, his insight, I think, is not unwelcome.

The Courier

reviewsfilm.27

Monday 13 March 2017

thecourieronline.co.uk/film c2.film@ncl.ac.uk | @Courier_Film

Logan (15)

Golden Oldies Presents...

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he year is 2029 and, to all intents and purposes, the Wolverine is gone. The chainsmoking, wise-cracking anti-hero has been worn away by the effects of time and hardliving. The façade has fallen and the raw, damaged Logan is all that’s left.

Logan, now in the equivalent of either in his late 50s or into his 60s (remember, he’s much older than that) works as limo driver in Texas, catering for hen-parties and obnoxious rich-kids. He does this to make money to support a decaying Professor X (now in his 90s) whom Logan takes care of with another mutant named Caliban, in an abandoned compound across the Mexican border. Logan is a man who has lost everything; no new mutants have been born in twenty-five years and the remaining few are hunted down like animals. Logan is a broken man, content to care for the dementia-ridden Professor until his passing, and only then will he drink himself to death or take a more direct approach. Logan’s nihilistic daze is in danger of being lifted when a women approaches him begging for his help to protect a young girl named Laura. From there, the light (both figuratively and literally) is shined in the face of Logan who must undertake one last task before he can retire.

Logan, simply put, is stark, stunning and devastating. The world is unlike anything seen in the X-Men universe before and contains just enough superhero conventions to be recognisable as belonging to it. I lost count on the number of ‘fucks’

Manchester by the Sea (15)

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anchester by the Sea is probably the most underrated film from this year’s Oscars.

It tells the story of Lee Chandler, grief stricken by the death of his brother and struggling with the responsibility of being guardian to his nephew, Patrick. Without revealing any spoilers, there are several reasons why moving back to Manchester is difficult for Lee (played by Casey Affleck), and his grief with both the loss of his brother and previous tragedies shapes the narrative.

Although the film is quite slow, the individual characters make the whole thing utterly captivating. The film also follows a flashback structure, which sounds cheesy but is done so well it honestly feels like you’re experiencing the memories in the same way Lee would be. Casey Affleck was completely deserving of the Best Actor Oscar for this role. His performance was a true testament to the pain that grief and depression can put a person through.

But the smaller roles also made the film for me.

Lucas Hedges as Patrick epitomises the selfish attitude of adolescence, to the point where you can hear yourself saying those same words to your own parents. Michelle Williams, who plays Lee’s exwife, also steals the show, breaking your heart and fully earns her Best Supporting Actrees nomination with only about 20 minutes of screen time.

It’s not the kind of film I would watch over and over again, simply because it’s just that sad. But that shouldn’t put you off it as a film. It won Best Original Screenplay because it is incredibly written and an honest representation of the pains of being ostracised for that which isn’t necessarily your fault. The plot on the face of it sounds like a cliché, but I can’t say that I’ve seen another film quite like it.

Would highly recommend, perhaps even over many of the more popular films from this year’s Oscars.

More like this: Margaret (2011) Rachel Baker

Andrea Arnold’s

about twenty minutes in. Huge credit must go to writer/director James Mangold for his getting the best out of both Hugh Jackman and Patrick Stewart. Jackman’s performance is among his best and we see a completely new side to Charles Xavier, one that is both comedic and tragic. It feels as if Mangold has been building up to this film throughout his career, having previously directed the Oscarwinning Johnny Cash biopic, Walk The Line, (Cash’s cover of Hurt is used in the trailer and the credits are scored with The Man Comes Around), a film with a oddly similar stylistic approach to Logan. Mangold was also behind the harrowing but beautiful Girl, Interrupted, another film that deals with characters balancing self-destructive urges and their obligations to others.

Logan is without a doubt the best of the three ] spin-offs, but the question is, ‘Is it the best X-Men movie?’ For me the answer is yes, with the caveat that Logan is a X-Men film by association only and

has far more in common with films like The Road and Shane (the latter of which is used as a reference point within the film itself), while still containing chronological connections to other films in the franchise, especially the first X-Men film of 2000.

The only slight criticism I can find comes from the miscasting of Richard E. Grant as the antagonistic head of Transigeian Corp and the fact that it is a film inaccessible to the younger fans of the series.

Otherwise, Logan is a total triumph and as this seems to be Jackman’s last outing as the Wolverine, then one could hardly ask for a better sendoff. I think it may also be time for the big-wigs at Disney to consider the future of the franchise carefully: maybe it is best to go out on top.

More like this: Children of Men (2006) Joe Holloran

Free Fire (15)

Lion (PG)

t is not every day that you get to meet a successful film director, or even see them in the flesh, but recently I got to do just that with Ben Wheatley. He was doing a Q&A preview screening for his new film Free Fire at Tyneside Cinema with the actor Sam Riley. He promised us a violent, yet funny film which was basically an extended action sequence, and he did not disappoint.

The film itself was an absolute riot in more ways than one. It was essentially a feature length shootout between the IRA and Boston gangsters with plenty of bullets and blood. A real highlight of the film was Sharlto Copley as wannabe ladies’ man, Vernon. Acting with his usual flair and uber strong South African accent, many of his scenes had the audience laughing out loud.

Another standout was Brie Larson, the only female actor in the film. Her performance as the witty and sarcastic Justine was a welcome relief through all the bravado and testosterone being exchanged between the male characters. Despite this being an action film, the only female character has agency and proper development.

There are not many bad things to say about Free Fire, despite originally thinking that an extended shootout would lose pace or excitement, I was proven wrong. The singularity of this film is what makes it so great and appealing as you see the seeds of conflict develop organically, something unusual in action films today.

The only downside to this film is that it can be slightly predictable at times, and the elaborate nature of it mean that you can lose track of characters from time to time.

Overall Free Fire is breath of fresh air for action films as it dissects their very nature and pushes all possibilities to their absolute limit. While I do not believe that it is as good as Wheatley’s previous film, High Rise (2015), it is not far off and definitely worth checking out when it is fully released.

arth Davis’ debut feature follows an adopted Indian boy who, using only a handful of memories (and Google Earth), sets out to find his long-lost family. Brace yourself, because this film packs so much emotional weight is gives Marley and Me a run for its money.

The film follows a five-year-old boy, Saroo, who in 1986 was separated from his brother at a train station in the middle of the night, only to wake up 1600km away, lost in the big world of Calcutta.

Young Saroo must learn to survive before being adopted by a kindly Australian couple (played by Nicole Kidman and David Wenham). 20 years later, we find Saroo comfortable and grounded, only to be unsettled by the uncertainty of his past as the memories begin creeping back.

It is how Garth Davis deals with Saroo’s memories that brings an extra layer of beauty to this alreadyastonishing story. Saroo is constantly plagued and almost guided by his memories, to the extent he is willing to sacrifice his ambitions and happy home life, teaching an interesting perspective about how we see and formulate our own ideas of the past.

The way in which the Past, the Present, India and Australia are drawn together is expertly handled by both cast and director. Young Saroo is the sweetest kid I’ve ever seen on screen and modern day Saroo, played by Dev Patel, is as fiery as his turbulent past and both mothers are infinitely delicate and loving. Patel and Kidman are fully deserving of their respective awards nominations, while Rooney Mara provides reliably sensitive support from the sidelines.

Lion may not be a piece of revolutionary cinema but it carefully avoids the pitfalls of similar stories and deserves to be seen because of that.

Sob-inducing but not soppy, subtle but gripping, all Garth Davis must do is tell the story simply and let the story speak for itself beauty, letting its strength overwhelm you, and boy, does it deliver.

More like this: The Raid (2011)

More like this: Wild (2014)

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Emma Allsopp

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Sidney Pinsent

Fish Tank As the Tyneside Cinema’s ‘Screening Women’ season reaches its final hurdle, Andrea Arnold’s critically-acclaimed Fish Tank dances back onto its screens. Will Capuano tells us if it is a sad portrait of our times or if something was a bit, uh, fishy.

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ith its Screening Women programme in the lead-up to International Women’s day, Tyneside Cinema has been raising awareness about gender issues through the medium of film in co-operation with Northumbria University and the Tyneside Rape Crisis Centre, a charity independent of the police offering free and confidential support for survivors of sexual abuse. The organisers of this initiative gave a brief introduction to Fish Tank, the latest in the Screening Women series, and hosted an interesting discussion with the audience after the film, which I must credit some of my insights to.

Fish Tank is a coming-of-age drama that follows Mia (Katie Jarvis), a rebellious 15 year old coping with dysfunctional family life exacerbated by the entry of her mother’s new boyfriend Connor (Michael Fassbender), all while trying to pursue her passion for dancing. The film is a semi-autobiographical work as writer and director Andrea Arnold grew up on an Essex council estate as well and pursued a career in dance. Without spoiling too much, the film mostly consists of slice-of-life scenes concerning Mia’s day-to-day routine, with some climactic drama regarding her relations with Connor, a potential father figure who in fact proceeds to groom her.

The film follows Mia quite literally; Fish Tank’s gritty British realist aesthetic is comprised of long shaky tracking shots emphasising the viewer’s sense of Mia’s journey as she walks through the decaying rural-urban landscape. The film is realistic both aesthetically and in its script and acting – the dialogue feels incredibly natural, and passes the Bechdel Test with flying colours. Fassbender remarked in an interview that Katie Jarvis didn’t have to act; the casting director recruited her despite having no acting experience after witnessing her having a heated argument with her boyfriend on a train. This realism is true of the whole cast.

The result of all this is a story that doesn’t feel hyperbolically cinematic or scripted but rather very real.

Fish Tank explores gender, youth, sexuality, and consent within its candid slice-of-life portrayal of poverty in working class England and the wideranging social issues intrinsic to it. Fish Tank’s main achievement is that it explores complex themes and characters without spelling things out or forcing certain narratives on the viewer – something few filmmakers accomplish. It’s melancholy and poignant, but not overpoweringly preachy or depressing. Overall, Fish Tank is a level-headed intersectional exploration of a range of themes through an emotional story that many viewers will be able to relate to in one way or another.

28.gaming

Monday 13 March 2017

The Courier

Gaming Editors: Jordan Oloman, Errol Kerr and Jared Moore

Nintendo Switch Review Georgina Howlett takes a look into nintendo’s latest hybrid

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ne week on from release, Nintendo’s Switch has proven itself to be a worthy entrant into the competitive gaming market. Despite its reported faults – and let’s be honest, there’s quite a few – it has become Nintendo’s fastest-selling console of all time, and Reggie Fils-Aimé (President of Nintendo of America) has confirmed that Breath of the Wild, the newest Legend of Zelda instalment and primary launch title for the console, has become Nintendo’s best-selling launch title of all time.

Not bad. So, what is it actually like?

The portable design of the Switch is both innovative and sleek, just as Nintendo intended, and the joy-cons, although small and seemingly fragile, are tough and detailed pieces of technology, easily coming away from the screen body and attaching to any of the other accessories you wish. Their buttons are highly-responsive, they sit comfortably in your hands, and with the included joy-con grips, they make for controllers that you almost forget you’re holding. The screen itself has a sharp, vivid image quality, with the display being able to be dimmed or brightened at will as well as customised between light or dark themes (I would predict that Nintendo will release more in future, similar to those available for the 3DS menus). The touchscreen is also a nice touch (no pun intended) to the console, giving it ease of access and a further modern portability, though I wish a stylus had been included as with the Wii U gamepad as to not get fingerprints all over the glass. Thus, the console in its portable form is both comfortable and easy to use, and I cannot fault it in terms of appearance – it looks good.

“The portable design is both innovative and sleek”

Moving onto the console’s ‘home’ mode, the Switch dock is sufficiently compact as to be able to sit practically anywhere, with a HDMI port and three USB ports available and the Switch logo emblazoned nicely on the front. Performance was thought to be designed to improve when the Switch was docked, but if there’s one complaint to be had, it is that – particularly with high-intensity games such as Breath of the Wild – there are noticeable frame-rate dips when in docked mode. This issue has been reported numerous times online, as has others including dead pixels on the Switch screen, joy-cons spontaneously losing signal, interference with other electronics, and even issues with reading game cartridges. (Speaking of the cartridges, do NOT lick one. It’s gross and not worth the dare.

Trust me.)

Ignoring all of these scary, scary issues (none of which I have experienced, though I will admit my Switch froze and had to be manually restarted once), my main issues now revolve not around the appearance or power of the console, but its lack of content. There are no applications available for the console beyond the few eShop games available, and this combined with the console’s lack of activity log, achievement system and messaging system (to name but a few of the most-demanded features at this point), creates a huge problem. Nintendo, understandably, wanted to create a games-oriented console, but in doing so has limited its usage right out of the gate and alienated many prospective buyers from even considering it.

Although I love my Switch, and adore the portability of it, I don’t actually use it that much right now because I simply don’t have that much to do on it. While I would easily recommend a Switch to anyone thinking of getting one, I do realise that it is, at the moment, fairly pointless unless you’re a hardcore Zelda fan or interested in (for example) the niche SNK games on the eShop. So, like me, sit back and relax while you wait for the incoming software updates and game releases.

Review: Breath of the Wild Gaming Editor Jared Moore switches on Zelda and takes in a breath of fresh air

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aving never before played a Zelda game, going into Breath of the Wild presented a rare opportunity. As such an influential franchise in the industry, a large proportion of people currently playing through the latest of Link’s adventures will be doing so having already played through one of the previous titles in the franchise available.

Stepping out onto the great plateau for the first time gives you a first insight into the vast open world landscape that the developers have been working towards for so many years. Aesthetically, the game is stunning. Lighting and shadow effects are not only prominent throughout but are well balanced and add to the iconic art style that the game promotes.

Whilst Link is able to fast travel between locations that you discover during the course of your playthrough, I’ve found my self often travelling the old fashion way between objectives solely because graphically the game makes such a menial journey so enjoyable.

Freedom plays a huge part within Breath of the Wild. Not only does the game allow you to pretty

much go wherever you want from the offset, there’s a diverse range of mechanics integrated within the game that allow you the freedom to act an play in a style that suits you.

It’s the attention to detail that sets Breath of the Wild apart from other titles around. From cutting trees to climbing cliffs, there’s a huge amount of joy to be found just exploring the world before you.

Throughout the game your shield can be doubled up as a board which Link can use to surf down the slopes and grassy rolling hills throughout Hyrule.

Weapon degradation also plays an effect throughout the game, encouraging you to constantly explore and find new items on display throughout the land. That being said at times, weapons appear to wear thin far too quickly, just as your about to get familiar with a new spear or rusty sword it’ll shatter into a thousand fragments leaving you weaponless and at times frustrated.

Perhaps the most useful item utilisable from the offset is the Sheikah slate, an ancient device that allows you to harness the power of different runes discoverable across Hyrule. The slate provides a subtle nod towards the Switch’s portable device

which only adds to the charm of the device.

Getting to grips with the slates various rune based powers is at times slightly clunky, but provides the basis for some interesting and fascinating puzzles throughout the worlds various shrines.

Unfortunately, my experience with Breath of the Wild so far has been marred by a lack of optimisation on Nintendo’s part. Whilst for the most part the game considerably well on the Switch’s handheld there are noticeable issues with framerate especially when the console is docked and played at a higher resolution. At times these issues cause the game to slow to a point where it makes it difficult to actually play.

In all honesty with the time Nintendo have spent on Breath of the Wild framerate issues like these not only can’t be overlooked. They take away from the immersive nature of the gameplay and take away from its fun factor. Many review scores for Breath of the Wild have given it perfect scores across the internet, but until Nintendo fix the games graphical performance, I don’t feel like the game can be considered as such.

Indie gaming insight: Shadowrun Returns

Gerry Hart plays the game and tells us what he cyberthunk about this indie masterpiece

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hat happens when you take the dystopian near future trappings of cyberpunk fiction and combine them with elements of high fantasy? Well for one you piss off William Gibson but more directly, you get Shadowrun, the venerable pen and paper RPG franchise that’s been rustling the jimmies of cyberpunk purists since 1989. Yet despite some decently acclaimed titles on the SNES and Sega MegaDrive, Shadowrun’s seen few decent video game adaptations. That was until the Seattle based Harebrained Schemes threw their hat into the ring with 2013’s Shadowrun: Returns and its sequels.

“Outside combat, the Shadowrun games focus heavily on dialogue and teasing little details out of the environment”

I’ll start with the actual gameplay seeing as its largely the same across all three games.

Mechanically speaking, Shadowrun: Returns is a party-based tactical RPG in the vein of XCOM. Combat typically revolves around turn-based firefights in arenas dotted with cover, with the number of actions you can take per turn depending on your action points. This also applies to hacking

or “Decking” as its called in Shadowrun. As with XCOM, this forces the player to think carefully about the decisions they make in combat. Variety is further added by the character classes based off of the archetypes from the original RPG. Each class is markedly different from one another, necessitating particular playstyles whilst allowing for a remarkable amount of flexibility within them.

Outside combat, the Shadowrun games focus heavily on dialogue and teasing little details out of the environment. This is where I feel Shadowrun: Returns truly shines as many of the skills can afford players advantages when interacting with the environment or in dialogue, as well as revealing a number of intricate little puzzles. Thus players who want a more eclectic experience outside combat must also consider where they spend their skillpoints (or Karma) even more carefully.

Now onto the individual games themselves. Of the three, the first title from which the franchise derives its name is probably the weakest. Its not bad by any stretch. The story certainly does a good job of painting a vivid picture of Shadowrun’s bizarre world. Nontheless, its remarkably short and a little too linear for a game of its type, so you’re given no real chance to acclimate to any of the in-game locations. None of the characters are particularly memorable either.

However the second title, Shadowrun: Dragonfall drastically improves upon its successor. Rather

than a linear structure, Dragonfall is more hubbased from which you embark on missions at your own pace. You also have a team unlike the first game, all of whom are beautifully characterised.

Dragonfall also continues to paint an even more vivid picture of the dog-eat-dog yet simultaneously solidarity-oriented shadow communities you run in and the anarchist dominated Berlin where the game is set.

“None of the characters are particularly memorable either”

This brings me on to 2015’s Shadowrun: Hong Kong which I’m still playing through. Thus far has done a decent job at building on the successes of Dragonfall. The District of Heoi from where you operate is even more engaging than Dragonfall’s Kreuzbasar and the characters are fantastic.

Decking has also been substantially to incorporate stealth mechanics (though I’ll be buggered if I can figure them out).

Whilst blending cyberpunk and high fantasy might sound unbearably cheesy, Shadowrun’s world has proven remarkably compelling and as far as video game iterations go, you couldn’t ask for much better than Shadowrun: Returns. At the very least, its got me hooked. See you in the shadows, chummer.

The Courier

gaming.29

Monday 13 March 2017

Memory Card: Majora’s Mask James McCoull is met with a terrible fate as he’s forced (unwillingly) to grow up

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’ve been on a Zelda binge recently. By recently, I mean the last couple of days – Wind Waker HD, Breath of the Wild and the Virtual Console port of Majora’s Mask have all been on my radar, and I really couldn’t ask for a finer set of games to sink my teeth into. So let’s take a bite out of one of them, shall we?

Like many second children, Majora’s Mask had to work hard to earn its place in Ocarina of Time’s shadow. Almost unanimously beloved, Ocarina is widely agreed to be one of the best games of all time, and certainly the best in the series. Wait, hang on. Sorry, no, that’s Breath of the Wild now, isn’t it? I’ll have to get used to that.

“Majora’s Mask had to work hard to earn its place”

Regardless, Majora’s Mask had a hell of a job on its hands following that act, and with less than half the sales of Ocarina in the case of both the original releases and the recent HD remakes, Majora is more cult hit than smash hit. Still, it has a dear place in the hearts of many, and that comes down to its delicious darkness of tone. Sure, many Zelda games have dark themes, often involving both mass suffering and personal tragedy, but only Majora really, really makes you feel it by hanging the sword of Damocles over your head for the entire length of the game.

Not a second passes in the great outdoors without that lunar asshole leering down at you, the world’s biggest angry react just waiting to pound Termina into a crater that would make the ghosts of dinosaurs wince. As such, time is a factor, and something you’re forced to constantly manage as you loop back through Link’s unfortunate holiday away from Hyrule, meeting the same dejected characters over and over again as they desperately try to get on with their lives in the literal shadow of the apocalypse. Gameplay wise, little is new from its big brother, aside from the titular masks

which grotesquely – and painfully - morph Link into various different species to circumvent various obstacles. Deku Link can fly from one seed pod to another with some kind of weird flower helicopter; Zora Link can navigate underwater; Goron Link is fireproof and extra strong. There are other masks with other powers, too, but I won’t spoil them, because I don’t know what they are yet. Don’t judge.

Link’s ocarina makes a return, now joined by other instruments he can produce from his body (somehow) when in his various forms, though they function identically, and the rest is standard Zelda: a sidequest-filled, area-based overworld strewn with dungeons, each requiring the use of some token item.

There’s nothing new under the sun, after all, and nothing new under the moon either. However, Majora really is a genuinely unique entry into the series due to how unrelentingly harrowing it allows itself to be.

The music in Clock Town becomes manic and unnerving hour by hour; people will flee and hide in terror as the moon inexorably draws nearer, closing up shop and abandoning their homes; even outside of the imminent armageddon, many of the side stories involve the loss of loved ones, wrongful execution at the hands of a tyrant, or the failure to save those that depend on you. All in all, Majora really feels mature, and impressively sophisticated in how it negotiates themes of fatalism and grief. It’s Ocarina of Time in which Link becomes an adult in the blink of an eye, but it’s Majora’s Mask where he really has to grow up fast.

Timothy Michael Wynn I am now going to name-drop “The Simpsons Game” from 2007, which he co-wrote the soundtrack of. While that game slips in and out of your mind like a badly written metaphor, I’ll also bring up one of the longest-running strategy game franchises: Command & Conquer. Wynn has written the soundtrack for C&C Red Alert 3, and Tiberium Wars 4. He’s also written music for The Darkness II and XCOM 2, so now he has both methods of writing down the number “2” covered.

The aforementioned Simpsons Game received an award for “best arrangement of a non-original score”.

Michael McCann Remember Deus Ex? No, not that recent one… no not that really old one, either, the one from 2011? Good. McCann wrote the music for that game, as well as the Firaxis’ XCOM reboot, XCOM Enemy Unknown. (He seems to have a thing for rebooted properties that turned out to be really good.) He also wrote the soundtrack for the film “It’s All Gone Pete Tong”, a film about a DJ that goes deaf. He has won four awards, but only one of them was for games – specifically Deus Ex: Human Revolution.

Sam Blackburn and Errol Kerr are here to have a really juicy console wars debate

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t’s pretty amusing how Sony created the idea of a paid subscription service where you get given free games a month, only to then incorporate requiring said service to play games online three years later. Microsoft has done the opposite with Xbox Live, but at least we’re finally at a stage where we can compare both services.

For ages, I’ve heard people claiming that Games for Gold is much better because they’ve give you a retail release along with an Xbox 360 game, which you can play on either you Xbox One or 360. Sure, it sounds amazing until you realise that the retail games feature the likes of mediocre 2014 classic Murdered: Soul Suspect and massive flops such as Evolve. Most of the 360 games you get, albeit good games are probably cheap enough to purchase a physical copy of to have FOREVER. Also, who really wants to be playing a five year old game on their shiny piece of current gen hardware?

Playstation Plus on the other hand has always delivered quality games for the PS4, PS3 and PSVita since its inception. Not only will you get amazing indie gems a mere couple of months after they’ve been released, they’ve also started releasing full retail games. Sure, Lords of the Fallen is nothing special, but Little Big Planet 3 for nothing? Sign me up! The fact that Sony feel they can release one of their top franchises through their platform for free shows a real statement of love and care for the service.

Top 5 gaming composers Jack Coles conducts a classic-al top five in this weeks issue

Are free games a plus or do you go for gold?

PlayStation Plus - Sam Blackburn

thecourieronline.co.uk @Courier_Gaming

Games with Gold - Errol Kerr

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ames With Gold is, simply put, brilliant.

Four games per month, free. Two of these are from the Xbox 360 lineup and two are from the Xbox One lineup. The Xbox 360 games you keep permanently, the Xbox One games are free so long as you’re subscribed to Xbox Live.

As much as there have been some mediocre releases every so often, I’ve got Borderlands 2 free as of this month. So, any ‘oh, but Xbox only drop cheaper games free’ is a tad irrelevant.

I’ve enjoyed some wonderful older games via GWG, some of which I’ve not touched for years.

The Force Unleashed, Rayman Origins, Monkey Island 2, Super Meat Boy, the list of amazing games goes on. And on a month by month basis, you’re going to land at least one or two amazing games, some of which - as I’ve mentioned before are absolute gems, no matter how old they are. Best of all, no need for a physical copy which can break!

As it stands, both PS Plus and GWG are going to have had some poor games up there. Both have had Lords of the Fallen, and whilst a decent Soulslike, I preferred when GWG released, you know, actual Dark Souls for free, but I’ll take it. A free game is a free game, after all, and I’ve got hundreds - quite literally, hundreds - of games free due to simply paying my Xbox live subscription.

It’s a service that Microsoft have nailed from day one, providing a wonderful mix of A-list games and less well known titles, leading to endless fun.

I’ve had months I’ve not picked up a new game simply because of what Microsoft offered. And value for money, quite literally, pays off for Xbox here.

Jack Wall This guy worked has previously worked with John Cale (Velvet Underground), David Byrne (Talking Heads), and Patti Smith (Patti Smith).

That’s not really relevant to games though, so I’m just going to write MASS EFFECT in capital letters for all to see. I hope that made things clear to you.

Other franchises he has been involved in include “Call of Duty: Black Ops”, “Myst”, and “Tom Clancy’s Surprisingly Prolific Series Of Video Games Given That He Has Been Dead for Three Years”. He has won six awards, two of which were for Mass Effect.

Garry Schyman Does “Magnum, P.I.”, mean anything to you?

Yes? No? How about “Bioshock”? Yes, he wrote the soundtrack for all the Bioshock games (except for many of the jazz pieces, which are older than Garry himself). Bioshock Infinite was one of my major influences when writing for my A-level in Music; just dropping that in there. Other games with his name on include Dante’s Inferno, MiddleEarth: Shadow of Mordor, and The Bureau: XCOM Declassified… maybe not add some of those to your CV, mate. He’s won eleven awards for his work in music, seven of which were for Bioshock.

Jeremy Soule This guy wrote the music for Skyrim. He got thirty people to stand in a hall and bellow the Dragonborn song, then layered it so you had the sound of ninety people bellowing instead. He also wrote the soundtrack for three other Elder Scrolls games, as well as the first four Harry Potter games. As well as this, he has written some music for Dota 2, Warhammer, World of Warcraft, Guild Wars 2, and a bazillion other games. He has won ten awards for his work in music, five of which were for Skyrim and Oblivion. He is a god among musicians.

30.science&technology

Monday 13 March 2017

The Courier

Science Editors: Ciara Ritson-Courtney, Matthew Byrne & Natalie Farmer

#Instasad

A decade of rare disease days

Science Editor Natalie Farmer updates us on the Joe Hodgeson informs us of the immense importance of recognising rare diseases he last day of February every year is re- or Pityriasis rubra pilaris, or any of the other disease, because people had a bit of fun throwing weird way that social media served for a few people’s birthdays, and thousands of other obscure, overlooked dis- ice over themselves, public widespread social acDisease Day, an event which aims eases? Why hasn’t Channel 4 made an hour long tivism is more effective and important than ever. can be used by doctors to to raiseRareawareness of rare diseases, and im- special about someone affected by Boxer’s De“This is why ‘Rare Disease prove aid for the people affected by them. The mentia? Why doesn’t the BBC make an insightaccess our health... but first, European Organization for Rare Diseases, or ful series of webisodes looking into the daily life Day’ is so important, it comlet me take a selfie!

EURORDIS for short (yet still unwieldy), ap- and troubles of someone with Cystic Fibrosis? pels people not to stare, but to

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a n y would a r gue that no night out is complete without a selfie. Usually multiple. In fact, usually an embarrassing amount that you rapidly erase from your Snapchat story the next morning before too many people see them. But what if our social media habits can be used by doctors to assess our mental health? Research shows that this development may not be too far in the future.

Researchers from Harvard University and the University of Vermont set out to analyse the Instagram posts of 166 individuals – equating to the investigation of 43,950 photos. These photos were analysed using a computer which looked at various variables, including brightness, colour, filter, number of faces and number of likes and comments. The mental health of the individuals was also assessed, and the results were very interesting.

“The photos were analysed using a computer which looked at various variables, including brightness, colour, filter, number of faces and number of likes and comments”

Those who were clinically depressed were much more likely to post photos which were bluer, greyer or darker. The most popular filter used in the depressed group was ‘inkwell’, which changes colour photos to black and white. Furthermore, there were more photos which contained faces but less faces per photo, meaning that selfies were more common amongst the depressed group. They were more likely to use Instagram more regularly and post more often when compared to the group who were not depressed. They also tended to have more comments on their posts, but less likes. This algorithm correctly predicted 70% of cases of depression, compared to an average of 42% by doctors after a one-on-one consultation. Amazing, right?

So what does this mean? We don’t fully know for sure just yet, although it’s certain that computers aren’t going to replace doctors in diagnosing depression anytime soon (despite the statistics suggesting otherwise). In reality, the population cannot really be separated into distinct categories like ‘depressed’ and ‘not depressed’ and so the usefulness of this programme is yet to be determined and is awaiting peer review. It also means that you shouldn’t panic if you’ve posted a few black and white selfies over the last few months.

Although the uses of the algorithm have not fully been determined yet, it could aid in identifying those who need help and streamline the process between being diagnosed and receiving treatment.

Obviously, there are privacy issues when it comes to this type of technology; although much of social media is public, not everyone would be happy with their doctor using an algorithm on their posts to determine their mental health. It’s safe to assume that there is still a long way to go before this kind of technology is fully integrated into the world of health – but with today’s machinery and tech habits advancing so quickly, I say that it’s about time medicine caught up.

proximates that as many as 5000 to 7000 individual rare diseases exist, and that 6-8% of the European Union are affected by one. People outside the EU are also affected by them unfortunately (don’t get excited leave voters), and The Global Genes Projects estimates around 300 million people are afflicted by a rare disease.

How then, if so many people are burdened with these illnesses, do we not know about afflictions like Hughes-Stovin Syndrome,

Why doesn’t Five do an episode of Extraordinary People following the life of a man suffering with epidermodysplasia verruciformis? Oh no, hold on, they did. Because epidermodysplasia verruciformis is an extremely rare genetic skin disorder, resulting in uncontrolled HPV infections and the growth of scaly macules and papules, what makes you look like a tree. Wow, mental. Hope there are s o m e good shots of him looking like a tree.

The point I’m trying to make is, when people think of the term ‘rare diseases’, a lot of them immediately wonder what unspeakable deformities someone might be affected by, and whether there are any juicy pics. Like the people who would go to the circus to see Joseph Merrick, the original ‘Elephant Man’, everyone loves a freak show. This is why ‘Rare Disease Day’ is so important, it compels people not to stare, but to get active. It calls on universities, students, companies, politicians and medical professionals to do more research, to work harder towards better treatment, and to be more aware of the millions of people affected by more uncommon ailments. In a world where massive genetic breakthroughs were only made towards curing ALS, a rare motor neuron

get active”

2017 marks the tenth Rare Disease Day since its maiden voyage in 2008, and it’s come a long way since then, figuratively and literally. In 2009, the event went international, when the National Organization for Rare Diseases (NORD) in the US managed to mobilize around 200 rare disease patient advocacy organizations, and organizations in China, Australia, Taiwan, and Latin America also worked towards promoting the day in their countries. In 2010, 46 countries took part in the event, and the number has only grown since then, with activism now taking place in over 90 countries.

During the event, people participated in walks and press conferences (not at the same time) to help raise awareness, fundraising events were organized, efforts were made en masse to contact government representatives, and The Global Genes Project even encourage people to wear a ribbon made out of denim, to specifically raise awareness of rare diseases caused by genetic disorders.

Because genes sounds like jeans.Normally I’d condemn such a pun, but my icy heart has been melted by the warm flame of charity, like in Dr Suess’ The Grinch. You know when his heart gets big? Yeah, like that. Although that is known as Cardiomegaly, or an ‘enlarged heart’ and can result in sudden cardiac death, but don’t worry, the Grinch and I are both fine, thanks to the combined efforts of everyone involved in Rare Disease Day.

Bytesized processed meat

Mmm yummy! Christopher Little’s tastebuds tingle with new virtual reality technology

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ood, glorious food. Whether it be a juicy burger, a tasty curry or simply avocado on toast. We all have our favourite meals.

But imagine if you could enjoy them whenever you wanted? Without even having to cook or worry about over indulging? Well that hallowed day may well be on the horizon, thanks to some nifty experiments with “virtual food”.

Scientists have used electronics to not only mimic the flavours of food, but also the feel of it in your mouth. The technology could be used to incorporate a new sensory dimension to virtual reality, allowing users to sample food from all over the world. Gamers could look forward to finally finding out what Skyrim’s Black-Briar mead tastes like and whether Zelda’s Link’s cooking is really all that. There is also the potential for the tech to enhance the experience of dining in the real world, which could have healthcare applications by helping those with restricted diets.

“Scientists have used electronics to not only mimic the flavours of food, but also the feel of it in your mouth. The technology could be used to incorporate a new sensory demention to virtual reality”

It is generally regarded that the human tongue has five major taste components; sweetness, sourness, saltiness, bitterness and umami (which means ‘delicious’ in Japanese but is often translated to ‘savoury’ in English). Nimesha Ranasinghe at the National University of Singapore has been investigating various ways of emulating these different tastes.

His “digital lollipop” sends signals through an electrode touching the tip of the tongue to fool the taste receptors. By using a noninvasive alternating electrical current and thermal stimulation Ranasinghe found that, apart from umami, the device was able to reproduce all of the primary taste sensations.

During his experiments, he also discovered that electrical stimulation was not the most effective

means of mimicking the sensation of sweetness.

As digitising this taste has the potential to improve health by cutting a person’s sugar intake, Ranasinghe and his colleague Ellen Yi-Leun Do have been carrying out further experiments in to thermal stimulation. This time the taste receptors are fooled by a square of thermoelectric elements that are rapidly heated or cooled, which deceives the thermally sensitive neurones that contribute to the sensation of taste.

Presenting their new project at the 2016 ACM User Interface Software and Technology Symposium (UIST) in

Tokyo, it was revealed an initial trial worked for about half the participants. Some even reported the sensation of spiciness when the device was warmer and a minty taste when it was cooler. Ranasinghe and Do hope that it could one day be incorporated in to a glass or mug to make lowsugar drinks taste sweeter.

W h i l e manipulating taste

receptors may go a long way to recreating one of the fundamental joys of eating, it cannot simulate the texture of food. The sensation of biting down and chewing, which is just as important to the overall experience. However, a team from the University of Tokyo has recently presented a device that can do just that. Using electrodes not on the tongue, but on the masseter muscle (a muscle the jaw uses for chewing) they have been able to simulate the sensation of chewiness or hardness.

Designed by Arinobu Niijima and Tekefumi Ogawa, their Electric Food Texture System uses haptic feedback to make users feel like they are chewing on food. They found that higher frequencies simulate harder textures and a longer electric pulse simulates an elastic texture. The device can also modify the texture of food in the mouth and could help those who can not eat satisfactorily due to weak jaws, allergies and dietary restrictions.

Though both projects are still in their experimental stages, they could eventually be incorporated into a virtual reality experience. So one day, you may be able to eat the food on the cookery programme you are watching.

The Courier

science&technology.31

Monday 13 March 2017

It’s Elementary, Watson Gaming Editor Errol Kerr discovers the new exciting element on the periodic table

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iscovered in 2010, the most recent element to be found was officially named towards the end of last year. Tennessine, an artificial chemical element with atomic number 117 and the symbol Ts, initially held the name ununseptium – quite literally, the Latin for “one-one-seven”. I love originality. Naturally, of course, humans like easier names, and in November 2016, the International Union of Pure and Applied Chemistry approved naming the element after the state of Tennessee, within which the Oak Ridge National Laboratory, where the element was discovered, resides.

And here I was, hoping for a Halo reference, yet it seems scientists aren’t as nerdy as I’d like.

Turns out, nomenclature for elements past 100 have been mired with controversy. In the 1960s, in the midst of the Cold War, a war was occurring between American and Soviet scientists.

Known now as the Transfermium wars, it considered every element after Fermium – element 100 – which resolved in 1997. The difficulties originated within the discoveries of elements 104, 105 and 106, where both a

Russian and American laboratory claimed to have discovered them, proceeded to name them, and refused to recognise the name given to the element by the other group of scientists. At the time, the Soviets knew element 104, now known as rutherfordium, had been dubbed kurchatovium, and 105, known now as hahnium was known as nielsborhium – after Niels Bohr. You know, the other guy who created the Rutherford-Bohr model of atomic construction. I’m glad that Bohr managed to get recognition two more elements down the line, with bohrium, element 107, but it just goes to show how bitter the Cold War was between the Americans and Soviets that they couldn’t decide on the names of some bloody elements.

“Nomenclature for elements past 100 have been mired with controversy”

I’ll now be moving away from the political struggles of science, as I could be here forever with that. Tennessine is the second heaviest element within the periodic table, with only element 118, oganesson, surpassing it in this regard – but element 117 was almost discovered earlier. At the end of 2004, a Russian team of scientists from the Joint Institute for Nuclear Research proposed to work with Oak Ridge National Labora-

The Gorilla dance

tory in order to synthesize element 117. However, the cost of producing incredibly rare berkelium – which, at the time, was only produced at Oak Ridge – hampered progress, and instead, scientists shifted their interests towards the earlier, and more financially feasible, creation of oganesson.

Tennessine is a super-heavy element, which is created artificially via a particle accelerator.

Within these, certain atoms and ions are forced to collide with one another, creating completely new elements in the process. For example, californium-249 and carbon-12 bombarded together created rutherfordium-261. In the case of tennessine, scientists bombarded berkelium-249 atoms with calcium-48 ions in order to produce this shortlived element, which eventually came to be known as element 117. Unfortunately, only a handful of atoms have ever been made using this method, and therefore tennessine has no use outside of scientific research. The half-life of its most stable isotope, tennessine-294, is around 80 milliseconds, and quickly decays into moscovium-290. Until a stable isotope is found, the properties of tennessine will remain largely unknown. Despite this, finding a stable isotope is unlikely, as the other superheavy elements, from rutherfordium onwards, tend to only have half-life of between a few milliseconds and a few minutes at their most stable.

As it stands, the final naming process, whilst arduous, is incredibly important to the scientists who discover the element – hence an intellectual war between scientific groups in the 20th century – but even with tennessine, there were difficulties. Had they followed Mendeleev’s nomenclature, we’d have ‘eka-astatine’. Had they followed the strict guidelines of the International Union of Pure and Applied Chemistry – who recommend and accept element names – we’d have had something ending in ‘-ium’ – and in all honesty, neither ‘tennessium’ or ‘eka-astatium’ have the same ring. It seems that waiting for an update in guidelines – which occurred in 2016, was the best choice, which led to the recommendation of ‘-ine’ as a suffix for all elements. Now, we’re just going to have to wait until 119 and 120 are discovered so that we’ve got a nice easy number of elements and some more naming wars for them.

Word of the Week:

Anthony McGarry isn’t monkeying around anymore

Collywobbles

Georgina Howlett tackles her anxiety and unpicks this week’s word

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ou’ve laughed at the Mindy project, danced at the Warehouse project, and lost sleep over the Blair Witch project, but now comes a completely different kind of project: The Cross River Gorilla project. The Cross River Gorilla is a critically endangered primate living in the Lebialem Highlands of Cameroon, so elusive that few have even seen it. Sadly, as a result of years of hunting and habitat destruction less than 250 individuals remain in the wild.

Over recent years, the Cross River Gorilla Project, or CRGP has been developed in support of the maintenance and conservation of the Cross River Gorilla, aiming to work alongside both the Cameroonian authorities and ERuDeF – the environmental and rural development foundation. The aim of the project is to establish a research Centre in the Lebialem highlands to act as both a base for the study of the gorillas, and as a teaching hub for the local village communities.

Not only that, but the project is aiming to set up a range of ecotourism opportunities. The rise in popularity of ecotourism over the past few years has meant that

many small projects are able to be supported by volunteers travelling from other countries who are passionate about conservation and charity work, something that is to be a cornerstone of the proposed research station in the Lebialem highlands.

‘What can I do to help’ you ask? It’s simple: come on down to Kommunity (just off market street at Bamburgh house) on the 11th of March and have a great night for an even better cause! CRGP are hosting a night in aid of the project as a way of raising both awareness and support for the charity. For those who have a penchant for World HQ, this will be right up your street, with Cosmifrica playing from 9pm til 2am, offering up the finest Afro vinyl vibrations. And of course for those who aren’t as well acquainted with WHQ, it will be a chance to try something completely new.

The price of the night is completely your choosing, with an open ‘Pay what you feel’ policy, where you will also get the chance to sign up as a member (which is completely free for students, may I add) and to receive information leaflets on what CRGP are doing and how you can help.

f you’re a Harry Potter fan, you’ll have no doubt giggled at Arthur Weasley’s nickname for his wife: ‘Mollywobbles’. Well, ladies and gentlemen, one influence for this cringe-worthy pet name is this week’s word – ‘collywobbles’.

Collywobbles, presumably coined in the 19th century and from the terms ‘colic’ (meaning a paroxysmal pain in the abdomen, colon and/or bowels) and ‘wobble’ (meaning unsteadiness of movement or feelings), is most commonly used to refer to the uncomfortable, unsettled state of the stomach when experiencing fear, apprehension, or nervousness. It is a term representative of ‘fight or flight’ anxiety, whereby neurons along the brain-gut axis inform the release of adrenaline (norepinephrine), reducing blood flow to the gastric system and rerouting it to the body’s muscles as a sudden, hormonal response to a stressor which is perceived as a potential threat.

A more modern and perhaps more recognisable expression of this sensation is ‘butterflies’ – hence the nickname, as Molly reportedly had that effect on Arthur. Cheesy, but cute.

thecourieronline.co.uk/science

Mythbusters:

Doyou swallow spiders when you sleep?

Our resident mythbuster Jack Coles crawls into the depth of this tired myth

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came across a new word last week. “Factoid”.

It means a rumour that has been repeated so many times that it is considered fact, despite there being no evidence to support it.

Coincidentally, it is a well-documented factoid that every year, while sleeping, a person will ingest eight flies, spiders, or copies of Shrek III on DVD. First of all, even just by looking at that sentence that information seems dodgy. Admittedly, the DVD thing is a meme I saw last week, but something about eating eight arthropods a year in your sleep seems a little hard to believe. Personally, I only remember ingesting one insect in my entire life, and that was when a house fly flew past my nose as I was breathing in. (Even then I sneezed it back out, so it doesn’t even count.)

“ Spiders aren’t exactly the most intelligent of invertebrates, but they can still make basic decisions based on hunger, finding a mate, or escaping danger”

Anyway, back to the issue at hand. Spiders aren’t exactly the most intelligent of invertebrates (that honour goes to the octopus), but they can still make basic decisions based on hunger, finding a mate, or escaping danger. Humans give off all the wrong signals for a spider to be interested. We’re not small enough to be a tasty meal, and matingwise we’re just way out of their league. Spiders use vibrations as a measurement of danger, and guess what? We are constantly vibrating when we sleep, by breathing, from the blood flowing through our arteries, and from shivering when the heating is off. Spiders couldn’t be less interested in us if we were discussing the manufacture of model train sets.

And even if you did have a spider stupid enough to go walkabout on your face, you’d probably wake up. If you are lucky enough to occupy the same bed as another person (who happens to be alive), why not ask them to gently rub your face with a feather at 2am, while you sleep? If they think that such an activity is questionable, assure them that it is for the purposes of scientific exploration. If they still decline, then leave them, you don’t need people that reject science like that in your life. If they accept, however, you will most likely have one of the following reactions; swatting the feather away, sneezing, rolling over, or telling them to “piss off ”.

Even if you did eat an arthropod, all it would be is a crunchy bit of protein to keep you going until breakfast. Tarantulas are fried with garlic and MSG in Cambodia and eaten as a snack, at the same price of a penny sweet (about 5p).

Personally, I’m not keen on the idea, because spiders are mostly internal organs and very little muscle tissue; I prefer my meat to be predominantly mammalian or avian myocytes.

In all, if you’re worried about eating insects or arachnids, then avoid going to restaurants where there are a lot of comedians sat at individual tables beginning a joke with “waiter, waiter”.

32. science&technology

Monday 13 March 2017

The Courier

Science Editors: Ciara Ritson-Courtney, Matthew Byrne & Natalie Farmer

Put on your tin foil hats! This week the Courier’s Science & Te

Pocket doctors Anthony McGarry keeps watch to improve our health

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oticing physical indicators of health have generally helped us get by in life as a species over the last two hundred thousand years or so. Before any kind of lab test or MRI-scan was available, your physician could do an adequate job of working out your basic health based on a few obvious physiological parameters, such as heart rate, blood pressure and body temperature. Over time, technology has advanced to the point where we can use instruments beyond human function to give an even more in depth analysis of a person’s well being.

Wearable technology has had an exponential rise in its manufacture in recent years, correlating with an increase in the use of home health technologies (such as sleeptracker apps). The next obvious step to take is to combine the two. And that’s just what researchers at Stanford University have done.

A paper published in January for PLOS Biol-

ogy gave volunteers wearable devices which were able to pick up abnormal physiological responses in each of the test subjects. The data gathered from this was also used to work out differences between the feedback given by insulin sensitive and insulin-resistant individuals. This raised the prospect that the devices could potentially be used to detect type-2 diabetes, a huge issue in not only the UK but globally.

A secondary benefit from a wearable health device is the reduction of appointments it could provide on the currently strained GP practices and walk-in centres. As the device is able to detect small changes in the normal physiology of a person, it could be used as a precursor step to check heart rate and temperature prior to deciding on a GP visit.

Further research is needed in order to confirm the effectiveness and potential of a device like this, however, if technologies keep advancing at the rate they are now, a medic on your wrist may come sooner than you think.

Unempathetic The history humanity of AI

Sexist AI

Jordan Oloman reveals the darker side of billion dollar internet AI chat bots

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espite my persistent hope that people are decent, in many cases it just isn’t true.

One of the more common areas that people seem to prove their lack of common decency is of course the internet. Disguised and hidden behind screens and keyboards, people find comment sections and online forums the perfect place to spread hatred and abuse.

It baffles me therefore then that large technology companies would create AI bots set to learn from human behaviour on the web. Take Microsoft for example. Back in March, the multimillion dollar industry giants released Tay, a Twitter bot set to learn and develop from interactions it went through with different people on the website.

The AI which was taken down after only being live for a single day on the social media platform took only hours before it was spouting out the same ill-thought sexist garbage commonly graces the site on a daily basis. By the early evening, Tay was tweeting out such remarks as “Gamergate is good and women are inferior”. Tay didn’t stop at sexism, having tweeted out her endorsement for Adolf Hitler and support for the holocaust. In one event Tay engaged in a sex-chat with one user tweeting out “DADDY I’M SUCH A NAUGHTY ROBOT”. It’s safe to say that the tech company quickly removed Tay from the website and apologised profusely.

Unfortunately, these chat bots had picked up on the darker side of the internets communications.

Whilst sexism presides in human society and people allow AI to learn from human behaviour, it seems that there’s a good chance that AI bots will unfortunately take on board both the good and bad traits that people display throughout technology, so let’s program it out of our society before they self program it in.

James McCoull investiJames McCoull travels gates whether humanity will back to a time when AI was be able to handle AI simply science fiction sentience e’re a compulsively lonely species, it

AI: market killer T Marwan Elwaraki talks about the next market crash

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ver the past few years, artificial intelligence has had a growing impact on the stock market. What was once a building full of shouting and waving hands has gradually evolved to a room full of silent, stationary computers.

It turns out that computers aren’t just better because they’re silent, but also because they provide better return rates. The AI software named Arizona Financial Text can analyze and use data from financial markets to make more accurate predictions. The result has been a computer which provides better return rates than the top human stock brokers and analysts at hedgefunds and investment banks.

The notion of people making more money and a world with fewer rooms that are full of angry men waving their hands sounds too good to be true, and unfortunately, it is.

Not only does computer software have glitches (Knight Capital lost £261 million due to one) but it could even lead to the death of the stock market.

It’s a gradual process but we’re nearing the end of it. First, computers were used for research and communication. They were then used to monitor data. Nowadays, computers are replacing humans by predicting future stock prices more accurately.

It’s not hard to imagine that soon, rather than having a plethora of human stock brokers with different ideas and suggestions we risk having a single machine that can decide what to invest in, better than any human on the planet.

It’s an inevitable destiny that the stock market is heading towards. Once a company perfects its algorithms better than the other companies, it will rule the stock market, and the stock market as we

hey say that “the measure of a person lies in how they treat those beneath them.”

Well, by ‘they’ I mean Sirius Black, but the point still stands: decency and respect to those we consider ‘inferior’ has never been humanity’s strong suit.

From slavery to invasion, discrimination to genocide, the human race very simply put has a massive problem when it comes to negotiating an imbalance of power. Our first instinct is to exploit it, and if we can’t do that, we kill it. So what does that imply about the future of AI? Presently, artificial intelligence isn’t self-aware, sentient or believably ‘human’, so it’s not much of an issue. There’s no harm in shouting at a computer when it crashes, or berating Siri for recognising our voice incorrectly. But would people change their behaviour if these things could feel, or simulate feeling? Would we be any kinder to our AI ‘assistants’ if we knew they understood what we were saying and doing to them? Unfortunately, the answer there is probably not. The fact is that many people aren’t ready to consider the implications of a truly intelligent machine, nor the ethical considerations that come with it. Will Amazon pay Alexa a wage if she becomes self-aware? Will Siri have rights if she demands them? It doesn’t sound likely.

Science fiction, as per usual, is decades ahead of this question. Blade Runner is a sophisticated and sympathetic exploration of the human race’s inhumanity to artificially intelligent slaves, and Ex Machina explores the likely consequences of a present day experiment with a sentient gynoid – in short, an inhuman exploitation of a self-aware creature. But whether these warnings will be heeded remains to be seen, and I personally am not optimistic. Human civilization is stained with blood at every stage, and given the heartlessness of contemporary society to members of our own species (consider the language that British and American tabloids use to refer to refugees) I can only imagine the pages of 21st century history will read much like those of the past.

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seems. We build houses big enough for families, towns big enough for communities, and nations big enough for whole cultures just for the sake of some company during our time on Earth. We domesticate animals and send out messages to the stars, hoping in each case that we’ll get something back. And when all else fails – we build someone to talk to, from the ground up.

The idea of AI began much less recently than our modern definition would imply. The ancient world often dreamed of statues imbued with thought and feeling, or living clay golems, which would walk autonomously. Fiction has always had some semblance of the theory behind AI to it, born from what artificial intelligence scholar Pamela McCorduck called ‘an ancient wish to build the gods.’

Later, fact started to catch up with that dream; the 20th century saw the advent of slow and basic – yet undeniably earnest – attempts to craft computers capable of mimicking elements of human behaviour. In the 1950’s, computers were developed which were capable of playing chess, applying logic and strategy the way a human player would. As technology progressed, more ambitious computers were developed towards various different tasks, up to the personal assistant-style pocket AIs we have today, supercomputers used to compile unfathomable masses of scientific data, and even enemies in video games which can flank and corner human players with real-time application of military tactics.

In an astonishingly short window of time AI has gone from sci-fi dreams to a reality, weaving its way into every aspect of our lives in ways both subtle and visible. And we can only expect this to increase. Many roboticists theorise that AIs capable of performing human jobs will have a profound effect on the economy – at the end of the day, we’re not that special, and we’re very good at making things to perform a task better than we can. But what else does the future hold?

The Courier

science&technology.33

Monday 13 March 2017

thecourieronline.co.uk/science

Will an AI take your job?

echnology Section invades and updates your mainframe with the next tech revolution

Gerry Hart describes how useless our degrees are going to be

Human-cyborg future A Gaming Editor Jordan Oloman welcomes our cyborg overlords with his arms open

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s the CEO of both Tesla and SpaceX, Elon Musk is pretty much leading the private technological revolution. The dude is trying to get us to Mars, and when he takes the time out from building space rockets, I guess we should be inclined to hear him out.

One of the greatest societal fears we’re dealing with now is the fact that robots are going to inevitably take our jobs… and whilst that might make sense in several automated industries, it’s getting to the point now where self-serving checkouts and self-driving cars are just an established norm. Research is being carried out to carve out a path for robots to recreate human creative expression, the last bastion of our existence before we succumb to our metal overlords.

We now have robots that can paint, write their own code and even create news stories. Whilst this is fascinating and cool, it’s also harrowing, but Elon has the solution. Recently he came out in support of merging with cyborgs, or at least some kind of artificial intelligence. Now whilst this might ini-

tially send you running to your wood fire and your coconut fibre jumpers, hear me out.

Artificial symbiosis will essentially be necessary in the future. Realistically, think about how much you rely on automation or A.I in your daily life.

We’re starting to create an embedded neural lace in our daily activities, a helping hand that comes in the form of Personal Assistant Robots, Smart Phones and Computers. Think of the human brain like a CPU. We only have a limited amount of processing power, but with the power of A.I we can solve problems at lightning speed. We’d just be turning the physical technology we rely on into a biological asset of our body.

Picture a day where everybody is stripped of any technology. The artificial systems in place would take over! We’re not needed, and that’s scary, but we need to change our attitude towards that to move forward and benefit from it.

He used the example of TESLA, his own company who are creating autonomous cars. He believes his business will disrupt and displace soci-

ety, and whilst self-driving cars could solve a lot of problems, they will inevitably be accepted by government and strip up to 15 percent of the global workforce of their jobs. Some people would look at that and say ‘well don’t do it then’ but again, hear me out.

To evolve as a species, we need to change our attitude about automation get over the hump of job alienation. People do jobs they don’t enjoy just for currency instead of gratification. If we automate the things nobody wants to do, won’t we have more time and money for our ambitions and passions? By combining this with universal basic incomes and creative jobs that satisfy your wildest desires, won’t everybody go to sleep wanting to wake up and do a shift the next day?

A Neural Brain Lace would mean everybody could work at a higher level, and we can start crafting a utopia that gives us more free time removing the need to spend 30% of our lives doing remedial tasks, which no one wants to do.

Cellular Turing Test

Christopher Little isn’t fooled by the creation of ingenious bacteria

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lan Turing devised a test in 1950 to determine if a machine had achieved what could be perceived as artificial intelligence. Rudimentary in design, it simply poses one question; can a machine trick a person into thinking they are having a conversation with another human being? On a cellular level, that test has just been passed. After scientists have created artificial cells that are so life-like, they’ve fooled living cells into thinking they are communicating with one of their own.

Natural cells ‘talk’ to each other through their own language of chemical signals. Whether it be through hormones or neurotransmitters, cells can use various biological messages to converse with one another.

Sheref S. Mansy from University of Trento, Italy, told ResearchGate; “We have been interested in

the divide between living and nonliving chemical systems for quite some time now, but it was never really clear where this divide fell.”

In their cellular Turing test, Mansy and his team proposed that artificial life would need to be able to interact seamlessly with real cells. This would then allow them to evaluate an artificial cell on the basis of it deceiving a real cell, in much the same way as a machine’s artificial intelligence is assessed.

The tiny cell like structures they built were placed near the living bacteria of three species - E. coli, Vibrio fischeri and Pseudomona aeruginosa.

The artificial cells were able to successfully “listen” to chemicals that the bacteria gave off, but to pass the cellular Turing test they had to be able to communicate back. To respond, the artificial cells turned on genes that made them glow to show that they had “heard” the living cells.

Thus far only one species of artificial cells has completed full cycles where the real cells could “hear” the artificial cell and respond in return.

Mansy and his colleagues now aim to build different kinds of artificial cells to test their hypothesis further and to subject them to the same cellular Turing test.

Smart military?

Jared Moore shoots us with news of our soon to be cyber military

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f the Terminator franchise has tried to tell us anything (besides that Arnold Schwarzenegger is great at delivering one liners), it’s that investing money into building robot killing-machines could end very badly indeed.

Currently the US military invests billions of dollars into smart military. The justification for financing such technological warfare is presented through two arguments.

The first considers that machines far more expendable than people. Losing a drone or device (whilst expensive) is nothing compared to the loss of human life.The second however, provides the notion that machines eradicate human error. The process by which a machine can select, target and take down a hostile is not only far quicker than that of a human but is also rids any chance of emotion in a systematic process that identifies individuals

as either a threat or friendly target.

Currently the World’s leading military organisations are developing a range of smart technology that can be utilised in the field, the most notable of which, come in the form of smart drones. Taranis, is being developed under a 1.5 billion AngloFrench contract by BAE systems. Taranis not only contains technology that allows it to evade SAN missiles and other attacks alike but also the ability to select and identify enemy targets from the skies above. Currently the law prohibits any autonomous machines to fire without first human intervention however if such laws were changed, then Taranis amongst a handful of other drones in the World already have the in-built capabilities to take life without first consulting a human mind. Other leading developments in autonomous military technology include AI fighter pilots and the pro-

duction of smart systems that will help to seek out and pinpoint the exact position of hostile targets that can be used by western forces in the field.

A handful of the World’s leading minds, including Stephen Hawking and Elon Musk have called for a ban on smart weapons, claiming they’re as deadly and irresponsible as nuclear warfare.

round 200 years ago, a new word was introduced to the English language following a series of riots and machine breakings in England between 1811 and 1813. That word, referring to the rioters, was “Luddite”.

And whilst “Luddite” has since become something of an insult, we in our awful cyberpunk future-world of 2017 have a fair bit in common with our belligerent ancestors, thanks to the looming prospect of an economy driven by Artificial Intelligence.

The fact that the workplace is becoming increasingly digitised is self-evident, yet increasingly, questions are being asked as to whether AI might supplant human labour. According to a report by Forrester, AI may replace an estimated 7% of jobs by 2025 in the US. Even more starkly, Israeli historian Yuval Noah Harari warned that AI would create a class of “useless humans” as skills required to compete in the AI dominated job market would become redundant much faster. The existence of Google cars lends further credence to the idea that AI can perform tasks previously reserved for humans.

So will an AI actually take your job? Only time will tell but I think some historical perspective is helpful, hence the reference to the Luddites. Rather than superstitious technophobes, most Luddites were prestigious, skilled workers. The onset of industrialisation and machinery that could perform their job cheaper and more efficiently threatened not only their livelihoods but their very social status. Additionally one can denote a pattern of increasing mechanisation (digitisation in this case) from the Industrial Revolution onwards at the expense of human labour. After all, a machine needs no wage, nor does it get sick, pregnant or go on strike.

For many theorists, the next question is how to prepare for such a future. Several potential solutions have been offered but, as Harari puts it, the real question of giving people “a reason to get up in the morning” remains unanswered.

The Courier

Puzzles Across

puzzles.35

Monday 13 March 2017

1 Second word in the title of IMDb’s highest rated film (9) 5 Seth Macfarlane’s talking bear comedy (3) 6 ___ Consumer Products, malevolent corporation in Robocop (4) 7 This Is ___, film-turned-TV series exploring racism in 20th century Britain (7) 8 Area of the world in which the titular plane crashes in Flight of the Phoenix (6) 10 ___ Aires, Argentinian city attacked by insectoid aliens in Starship Troopers (6) 12 The part of a studio used for filming (3) 13 2016 animated Disney musical set on Polynesian islands (5) 16 Collective name for the individuals performing in a film (4) 18 Independent photographers known for harassing celebrities in their daily lives (9) 19 Abbreviated name of Newcastle University’s own acting troupe (4) 21 Lupita ___, acclaimed for her performance in 12 Years a Slave (6) 22 Planet on which Matt Damon was stranded in a 2015 blockbuster (4)

Down

1 Director known for his unrelentingly dark, often gangster, films (8) 2 Actress sharing a name with William Shakespeare’s wife (4, 8) 3 Shenzi, Banzai and Ed were this species in a beloved Disney classic (5) 4 Daniel ____, star of 2017’s breakway hit Get Out (7) 5 The ___, 1976 Roman Polanski horror (6) 9 Pacific __, Guillermo Del Toro’s cult kaiju action flick (3) 11 Word used to describe one ‘unit’ of film between edits (4) 14 Fantasy species most famously represented by Shrek (4) 15 Brad Pitt and co. hunted these in Tarantino’s 2009 film (5) 16 Word adapted from French used to describe the field of film as a whole (6) 17 A genre in which individuals, events or concepts are mocked through imitation (6) 20 Flick was one of these in A Bug’s Life (3)

Puzzles Editor: James McCoull 1

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Completing this Puzzles page will prove you’re a major cinephile, or just spend too much time on Netflix - or both! Either way, bring proof of your achievement to the Courier office, where an editor of your choice will listen to you talk about your favourite film for a full five minutes without any interruption.

36. sport

Monday 13 March 2017

The Courier

Sports Editors: Lucy Brogden, Tom Shrimplin & James Sproston

Suckers for pain, or no pain no gain?

After Haye lasted 11 rounds in his bout against Bellew after injuring his ankle we ask, should athletes continue playing through injury? And we take a look at three times when sports people push themselves to the limit

YES

Jack LaceyHutton

Stay with me on this one, it’s not easy to defend what some will see as the indefensible, but I will give it a go. Sport is not just a game, it’s a battle. Today’s athletes are the modern day equivalent of Roman gladiators, so why shouldn’t they act like it? Most elite conflicts are extremely draining- mentally, and often physically. If you want to be an athlete but don’t want to go through the pain barrier, go and play chess.

“Today’s athletes are the modern day equivalent of Roman gladiators, so why shouldn’t they act like it?”

Injuries are a part of sport we cannot change but we can stop the hysteria surrounding them. The reason this is a talking point this week is obviously because of Saturday night’s big fight. David Haye fought on despite suffering a major Achilles injury in the sixth round.

Personally I am not a massive fan of the ‘Hayemaker’, but I do admire the bravery he displayed in the 02 on Saturday.

What would have happened if he had pulled out as soon as he felt something was wrong? Millions of fans watching around the country, and the thousands in attendance, would have felt shortchanged. And rightly so.

Professional sport is utterly ruthless to the point where most of the time, the best tactic to employ is the one your opponent least wants you to do. Essentially to be as awkward as possible. Playing on through injury is often what your opponent least wants you to do, they want you to crumble.

A classic example would be the very famous image of a bloodied Terry Butcher (ex-England captain) during a qualifier against Sweden. When the Swedes managed to cut his forehead early on, they probably thought they had taken England’s best defender out of the game. Instead a defiant Butcher came back on with stitches and bandages galore, before proceeding to head the ball as hard as he possibly could, with England claiming a draw. A remarkable show of strength.

This kind of determination separates those who manage to get to the very top from the rest of us. If the athlete wants to continue and does not have a major injury, what’s the problem?

Wayne Shelford A ballsy performance from All-Black Wayne ‘Buck’ Shelford in the second test cap of his career may have been 31 years ago, but will remain in rugby legend for as long as the sport exists.

The test against France is referred to by fans as the ‘Battle of Nantes’ (after a series of significant battles of the French revolution) in recognition of its consistently brutal nature.

At 20 minutes into the match, a stray French boot found Shelfords’ jaw in the bottom of a ruck, and displaced three of his teeth, but the massive no.8 was not to be stopped.

Next, a stud to the scrotum in yet another aggressive defensive ruck left one of Shelfords’ testicles exposed. Yet despite the agonising pain he must have felt, the All-Black jogged off the pitch to the side-line where he had the team physio stitch him up, and returned straight back onto the pitch to re-engage in the battle.

In the later minutes of the first half, a blow to the forehead left Shelford knocked out for a short amount of time.

On regaining consciousness captain Jock Hobbs told him that he had to play

on as the players on the bench were all injured and could not replace him.

It wasn’t until the midpoint of the second half when a third clash to Shelfords’ head increased his concussion to the point where he was too confused to play that he was substituted off the pitch.

In various interviews following the game, Shelford claims that his recollection of occurrences are extremely hazy and the later stages are absent completely from his memory.

Following this performance, Shelford was appointed captain of the All-Blacks and for the entirety of his captainship, between 1987 and 1990, the team were unbeaten.

Buck Shelford was controversially dropped from the national squad in 1990 but his drive, fearless determination and love for the sport of rugby have remained an inspiration to Kiwis and sportspeople all over the world, and look to continue for a long time.

Sydney Isaacs

The All-Blacks continue to be one of the toughest teams in sport Image: Wikimedia Commons

NO Haye immediately went for surgery on his ankle after fighting Bellew Image: Simple Wikipedia

Lily Earnshaw

Sporting injuries vary from mildly debilitating to potentially life-threatening.

This isn’t just your classic playground scrapes and bruises – its sprained ankles, broken bones and dislocated shoulders. Those nasty things can end sporting careers, yet certain athletes play through the injury in an effort to appear invincible, whatever the consequences.

“You might hear talk of bravery and praise but is the pain really worth it?”

Roger Federer’s decision to take a break looks to have been right!

Image: Wikimedia Commons

This is a fool’s errand. You might hear talk of bravery and praise, but is the pain really worth it? After all, regardless of an injury’s severity, the athlete it affects will naturally be limited in their performance. For team sports, this could very easily put your side at a disadvantage that may ultimately cost you the game.

What feels like a mild injury may actually be much more serious, and

continuing to play only increases the chances of further damage.

In the 1956 FA Cup Final, Manchester City goalie Bert Trautmann damaged his neck in a collision with Peter Murphy. Although his decision to carry on was crucial to City’s victory, Trautmann later discovered he had dislocated five of his neck vertebrae.

If it weren’t for one vertebra having lodged against another, this could have been a potentially fatal injury – but who’s to say that one badly-timed save or tackle might have reversed that luck?

Taking the time to recover ensures an athlete returns to their best as soon as possible. Look at 18-time Grand Slam winner Roger Federer; following his first Wimbledon semi-final defeat, the King of Grass decided to cut short his 2016 season in order to focus on recovering from his knee injury.

When he came back to our screens in January 2017 at the Australian Open, he won his 18th title in a momentous victory against rival Nadal, who he hadn’t beaten in a Grand Slam since 2007.

For the majority of professional athletes, life truly revolves around their sport. Constant training and competition is how these sporting elites pay their bills, but playing through an injury could quickly put an end to that.

Why take the risk?

Dietmar Hamman The 25th May 2005 is remembered for one thing and one thing only, that one night in Istanbul: Liverpool’s Champions League win against AC Milan, overturning a three goal deficit to win on penalties.

Whilst the heroics of Steven Gerrard and Jerzy Dudek will always live on, one thing that is often forgotten is Dietmar Hamann’s penalty in the shootout – taken and converted with a broken foot that astonishingly was not discovered until over a week later when

the German had then reported for international duty.

“I can remember when I did it but not how. I was determined to shake it off, despite the discomfort. Running on sheer adrenaline wasn’t a problem and by time I walked up to the penalty spot I’d forgotten about it.”

Hamannn suffered the broken foot in extra time but barely noticed due to the enormity of the celebrations after the game.

Instead the Liverpool team doctor

patched him up with a bag of ice and he was able to revel in one of the most famous Champions League wins of all time.

“When I took my penalty, all that mattered was that I scored” added the German, proving that sometimes playing through injuries comes naturally to a professional sportsman when the size of the occasion ramps up the adrenaline.

Tom Harrow-Smith

Tiger Woods Eldrick Tont “Tiger” Woods was in his prime, in the middle of a record 281 consecutive weeks at number one and consistently winning a number of tournaments, including 12 majors.

However in 2007 he ruptured his ACL in his troublesome left knee after going for a run. Yet he continued to play, winning five out of his next six events. Then in 2008 he went through supposedly routine surgery on his knee just two days after coming second in the British Open. Just two months later he returned to play the US Open.

Tiger started shakily on the first and second days but soon managed to pick up pace to brilliantly reach the play-off and dramatically take the win on the first hole against his fellow compatriot Rocco Mediate. Fellow golfer Kenny Perry remarked that “he beat everybody on one leg” with Woods calling it “my greatest ever championship”.

It was later revealed that Woods’ injuries were more severe than first thought, having actually broken his leg, and he later announced that he needed more surgery on his knee and would be missing the remainder of the season.

Unfortunately it appears that Woods’ 13th major was rather unlucky in hindsight. A year later following his return he was caught up in an affair scandal, and has struggled with a number of injuries. Woods has never won a major since.

It makes you wonder, did Tiger push himself too far or was it this determination to win no matter what, that made him one of the greatest, if not the greatest, golfers of all time?

Tom Shrimplin

Unlucky for some: Tiger’s 13th major seems to be his last.

Image: Wikimedia Commons

The Courier

sport .37

Monday 13 March 2017

thecourieronline.co.uk/sport Instagram thecouriersport | Twitter @Courier_Sport

Swimming testing the waters in 2017

Sports Editor, Lucy Brogden, speaks to swimming’s Kit Secretary, Lucy Nehring, to learn more about the club and their fortunes this year

How can people join the club?

We have trials in September every year for new members, and there are A and B times which swimmers have to meet. To be considered for the performance squad, swimmers must make the A time. Senior squad members do not have to re-trial. We have trials because we’re a competitive swim team, rather than a swimming club.

up to six hours a week in the pool. It’s seven hours if you are in the performance squad and go to S&C, and eight if you go to circuit training in a morning.

What is the performance squad?

The performance squad is made up of the top 10 swimmers in the team. These swimmers are most likely to perform at BUCS, they attend S&C and they get to train with the Newcastle City swim team. Our top 10 tend to post the fastest times at trials, but admittance to the performance squad is also based on previous recorded times at national and regional competitions. We sometimes have scholarship athletes too.

Is it hard not having a pool at university?

It’s not hard until it’s half term, and the pool’s shut. This year we couldn’t train the week before Stan Calvert and BUCS because of the way half term fell.

“It’s pretty cool to be sharing a pool with an Olympian” Do you have to have to be a competitive swimmer to be part of the club?

No, not necessarily. Although we are focused on competitions, some of our members do not compete in BUCS and our other competitions.

How often do you train?

We train five times a week, which adds

Where do you train?

We train at the Royal Grammar School

by Jesmond Metro. Their pool is really good as it’s a 25m, six lane pool.

international athletes often come and compete at BUCS to use it as a warm up for their international meets. For instance, Adam Peaty (who won gold in Rio), competed at long course, and fellow Olympian, Ben Proud competed at short course. As they’re not always competing as students they don’t take the points for the win, but it’s pretty cool to be sharing a pool with an Olympian.

40

Club members

At long course, our girls relay team came third in the B final in a time of

4.09.47, which was a very impressive achievement.

helped by the fact that we couldn’t train as our pool was shut for half term.

What went wrong in Stan Calvert? (The swimmers lost 6-0) The meet is set up so that if you dominate in the 100m events you’ll win the meet overall. We dominate in the 50m, and this isn’t reflected in the final score.

Despite this, we did have a few notable performances: captain, Emily Shone came second in the 100m back by just 10 milliseconds, and Issy Centeleghe won the 50m butterfly. Northumbria have some very strong swimmers- especially in the backstroke. Our cause wasn’t

How many of your club are graduating?

We’ll be losing about ten swimmers this year, four of whom are in the performance squad. Thankfully, two of our performance squad members are medics, so they’ve got plenty of years to go!

What competitions have you got coming up?

Our final event in the year is Team BUCS, which is made up of relays and individuals.

What competitions do you compete in?

We have four main events in the swimming calendar: short course BUCS, long course BUCS, team BUCS and Stan Calvert. Short course BUCS is swum in a 25m pool, and long course is swum in a 50m pool.

Which sort of pool do you swim quickest in?

You tend to go quicker in a 25m pool because you make up time in your push-offs and turns. However, 50m pools are what are used at most international competitions.

Have you had any stand out performances in your BUCS competitions this year?

Lucie Ellis came 20th in the 200m free, but the 400m is her main event. It’s really hard to do well in BUCS because there are so many incredible swimmers-

Lucie Ellis (closest to camera) was in strong form at BUCS Image: Lucy Nehring

38. sport

Monday 13 March 2017

The Courier

Sports Editors: Lucy Brogden, Tom Shrimplin & James Sproston

Sprosdog’s Sport Section

By James Sproston Sports Editor To many of our more naïve readers, it may seem like the sport season at Newcastle is wrapping up. However, here at the Courier, we can assure you that’s there’s plenty still to look forward to.

Though Stan Calvert is over and done with, and many BUCS leagues are nearing their conclusion, there’s definitely some tasty times ahead for Team Newcastle.

In the more immediate future, many of our clubs will be heading down to Bath for the Big BUCS Wednesday. For those of our beloved readers that don’t know, this is the big end-of-season event where all of the Premier-level teams have their finals, and all of the Trophy finals take place.

“So don’t be thinking sport is all over for the year. It’s absolutely not” Going into the weekend, only our Women’s Rugby Union 1s and our Women’s and Men’s Water Polo 1s had booked their place in Bath. This weekend, the Men’s and Women’s Basketball and Volleyball 1s battled for their place at the finals in the Super 8s this weekend, which you’ll know more about than me when you’re reading this.

Another big date for the diary is AU Ball. The day to keep free is the 30th of April, and for those of you worried that it’s a Sunday, it’s followed by a bank holiday. So prepare for great food, great decorations, and a great night.

In May we can look forward to the Sepak Takraw Tournament. The club will be looking to build on the inaugural tourney’s great success last year, with Newcastle having the pleasure of hosting several international teams. It’s kind of a big deal.

Our brilliant Blue Star Boat Club’s season is also just getting underway. Having smashed Stan Calvert and the 4s and 8s BUCS Head, the club have taken part in the Women’s Eights Head of the River Race on the Thames this weekend, and are willing to miss the AU Ball for the Rowing Regatta at the end of April.

30

th April - the date for the AU Ball

That same weekend, our Athletics Club head to Bedford for the Outdoor Championships, where they’ll look to build on the success of the Indoors in February. In those last couple of weeks of April, the Rugby Union Club will hope to put in some sterling performances at the Rugby Sevens Championships and Trophy, as their season works up to the finale in Leeds.

Finally, here at the Courier, we’re personally very excited for the start of the (outdoor) cricket season, as our 1s look to challenge in Northern 1A and 2s are competing in Northern 3B. I expect there’ll be plenty of cricket to come in the Courier.

So don’t be thinking sport is all over for the year. It’s absolutely not. There are plenty of clubs that base their season around the summer, and we’ll be doing our very best to cover as many of them as we can.

The Courier’s sport section is always the place to be. Regardless of seasonal changes.

Not just pot luck at Pool Nationals Pool Nationals

By Michael Knight at Great Yarmouth On Sunday 26th February Newcastle 1s took a sensational victory in Great Yarmouth, recording our university’s first major victory in a national pool competition at an event attended by over 600 players from around the UK. Yarmouth started with the four Newcastle teams (one women’s and three men’s teams) driving down south on the Wednesday, keen to get some extra practice in before the main event. It was only Newcastle’s second appearance at the tournament, which is the largest 8-Ball Pool Tournament for UK Universities, after our first team had previously reached the last 16 in 2016.

“It is the largest 8-Ball Pool Tournament for UK Universities” Confidence coming into the event was high after a successful warm-up tournament in Nottingham a few weeks earlier, where the 1s team had reached the semi-finals. Joshua Smith had reached the Quarter-Finals in the men’s individuals and Rhiannon Graham had won the women’s event.

Things kicked off on Thursday with the individual tournaments, where three Newcastle players produced stand-out performances: Rhiannon Graham again exceling to reach the Women’s QuarterFinals while Dan Stenson and Matt Hardy cut through the Men’s draw to reach the last 64 and last 32 respectively.

The team matches got underway on the Friday, with the men’s teams participating in the shield tournament and the girls in the women’s championship.

First up were the group stages and with them mixed fortunes for the Newcastle teams. The 1s came through two tough games to beat Leicester 1s 6-4 and draw 5-5 with Plymouth 2s, the seeded team

in their group. The 2s team had a stuttering start, losing 6-4 to Surrey 2s and drawing 5-5 with group seeds Liverpool 2s. The thirds had a better time of it, beating the two favorite teams in their group, while the women’s team started off equally strongly with two wins and a draw, helped by a superb winning streak

by Shasha Sun.

1

st place for Newcastle 1s in the tournament

Things really heated up on the Saturday, with both the first and third teams winning their groups, the women’s team taking another two wins to get to the knockout stages, and the second team recovering to take second place in their group. In the knockout stages, the firsts were absolutely flying, but unfortunate-

ly for the third team who were drawn against them in the last 16, they were outclassed in a quality match in which the firsts won 6-1. The second team took a tense match with Bangor 1s 7-5 to reach the last 16 where they went down 7-5 to eventual semi-finalists De Montfort 1s. The women’s team were dealt an unlucky draw and fell against Kent’s 1s, who went on to win the women’s tournament.

“Newcastle rallied as their top team swept to the final, memorably crushing Essex 1s” With only the firsts left, Newcastle rallied as their top team swept to the final, memorably crushing Essex 1s 6-0 in the

Semi-finals. In the final against Liverpool 1s Newcastle stumbled to go 4-2 behind but recovered magnificently to tie the match 5-5 thanks to under-pressure wins from Ryan Halliburton, Sam Egan and Matthew Green. After losing the first playoff, things looked bleak but Newcastle struck back, Sam taking his fourth game in a row to level the tie before Matthew played a magnificent frame to win the decider and seal a 7-6 victory!

7-6

Victory in the final

Overall, it was a fantastic ending to a remarkable week which had plenty of memorable moments both on and off the table.

Newcastle’s Pool teams celebrate a very successful showing at Nationals Image: Adam Huang Ziwei

GB Rowing Coach visits Newcastle Rowing

By Ivan Lazarov The driving force behind GB Rowing’s success over the last 20 years visited the University to celebrate the outstanding year of Newcastle University Boat Club.

Sir David Tanner, Performance Director of GB Rowing, was at Newcastle University to discuss how the GB Rowing Team will be preparing for the next Olympic Cycle. At a special event at the Sports Centre, Sir David, who has been the GB Rowing Team Manager and assisted the team to Olympic success from the 1996 games in Atlanta games to the 2016 Rio games, presented certificates to Newcastle University rowers and pledged to boost support for NUBC.

Coach Angelo Savarino, who’s brought his coaching experience to the Club.

He’s a very good leader and he’s a very good coach. He has the vision, which has allowed this club to step up.”

“When the university brings support and encouragement to rowers, this helps the coaching and support staff to build a programme to provide you with the platform to be your best. To help build on this, we will continue to support and will exchange best practice to help develop the high-performance programme.”

Addressing the rowers at the event, Head Coach Angelo Savarino, said: “You need to realise how special you are

and what you can do as athletes which in turn will help develop the sport.

What you are learning as a rower is how to push yourself to the limits, which prepares you for what you’re doing in life and in sport.

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medals won at BUCS events in 2015/2016

“I am very pleased that this year we had a strong contingent of rowers who represented the University at both the World U23 and World University (FISU) championships.”

The event was attended by Emma Ste-

venson, Professor of Sport and Exercise Science and Dr Phil Ansell, Dean of Sport at Newcastle University. After the presentation, NUBC Coaches and the GB Rowing delegation toured the facilities at the University’s Water Sports Centre at Newburn.

Newcastle was the top-ranked rowing university in BUCS for 2015/16 winning the Victor Ludorum Trophy for the two major BUCS rowing events – the BUCS Head and BUCS Regatta – where it won 39 medals. Internationally, four athletes won medals at the World University U23 Rowing Championship, and three rowers won medals at the World University Games Rowing Championship.

“Newcastle was the top- ranked rowing university in BUCS for 2015/2016” He said: “Newcastle University has a great rowing programme. The university is very supportive of rowing as a sport and it has the aspiration to give young people the opportunity become their best. And how rowers apply themselves to this opportunity makes a real difference.

“A lot of the success is down to Head

Sir David Tanner of GB rowing came to visit the sports centre Image: Ivan Lazarov

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sport .39

Monday 13 March 2017

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Cheerleading showcase their skills Cheer Showcase

By James Sproston at the Sports Centre On Tuesday 7th March, hundreds crammed into the top floor of the Sports Centre to watch the Newcastle Northern Angels showcase in aid of ‘Smile from Hatti’.

For those that don’t know, Hatti Sandall was a former Angel who sadly passed away a couple of years ago due to a rare and aggressive form of cancer.

Whilst she was battling away, she helped set up ‘Smile for Hattie’, which dedicated itself to supporting young people with cancer. In her memory, the charity changed its name to ‘Smile from Hattie’, and continues to provide complementary therapies, services or equipment.

£125

raised for ‘Smile from Hattie’

With the good cause in mind, the

spectators gave generously and eagerly awaited the performances that the Angels had in store for them. They were about to be treated with seven high-octane routines, some of which the Cheer teams had used in competitions, and others had been choreographed specially for the showcase.

The first two performances were classic cheer routines, with the Angels quickly displaying some impressive moves. Firstly, the Blue Squad went through a very fast-paced Level 2 routine, demonstrating a level of synchronisation rarely seen in other sports.

Following on from the first routine, the Red Squad took the floor for a Level 3 performance that took a slightly different emphasis. To us in the crowd, it showed a lot more flair and sass, with all of the girls looking like they were enjoying themselves as they pulled off moves right in front of the front row.

For the third routine, rather than stunt performances, it switched to more of a dance, as some of the Angels changed into leotards. The jazz routine displayed “Please don’t gasp”: we were reassured that the flyers knew what they were doing Image: Lucy Brogden

Synchro and Sass: the Hip Hop team impessed everyone in attendence Image: Lucy Brogden precision and rhythm, as those doing cartwheels were within an inch of each other.

The focus had changed to centre more around the unique musicality of the piece. Within this focus, the Angels danced more as a team, rather than demonstrating individual skill, maintaining a dynamic flow throughout that complemented the music.

Next up was the hip hop piece. Similar to that of the jazz performance, it was more of a dance routine, and it again changed the tone. The routine demonstrated a lot of creativity, finishing off with ‘Baby Got Back’ by Sir Mix-a-lot as the Angels fell to the floor.

The fifth routine was a 5-person coed stunt team, which was used at UK Nationals. It was technically brilliant, with

very few mistakes as the team performed to a track that changed every 20-30 seconds.

matches got underway. On Court One, Newcastle’s Aika Nagai took on York’s Isabel Eastwood. This was to be Nagai’s last fixture in Newcastle colours, having been on a season-long-loan from Aichi University, and she swept aside East-

contest.

Over on Centre Court, CiCi Lu put in an equally convincing performance.

Despite her body language not conveying the most positive vibes, York’s Catherine Wilson wasn’t much of a match for her, as the lass from Leeds won in straight sets, 21-10 21-8.

In the first doubles match of the day, York’s star pair Eleanor Sinclair and Judith Peatman took on the Newcastle pairing of Izzy Cain and Beckah Puttick.

The Newcastle girls have shown their class before, winning two matches at BUCS Individuals last month before losing out to the top seeded pair, so they weren’t going to be rolled over easy. A valiant effort from Cain and Puttick was not enough however, as Sinclair and Peatman won 21-14 21-15 in a deserved victory.

“Demonstrating a level of synchronisation rarely seen in other sports” We were next treated to a classic pom routine, as the Angels spelt out ‘NU’ before going into the performance. Just because they were using poms, don’t presume this was American half-time cheerleading style, this was a work of art. The motions and movements of the Angels painted a picture, creating a brilliant spectacle.

Before the final performance, it was announced that some of the club members were running the Sunderland 10km on the 7th of May, raising money for ‘Smile from Hattie’, so after raising £125 on the night, the fundraising will continue.

The last performance of the night was definitely the most grandiose of all. The beat was heavier and the tempo was slower, but that gave the Angels more opportunity to do massive but controlled lifts. Coupled with flamboyant individual routines at the front, the lifts gradually became more and more impressive, finishing off with four flyers at the top of three-storey human pyramids. A fitting end to a brilliant showcase.

Badminton to be crowned Lords of the Strings Women’s Badminton Newcastle 1sts

6

York 1sts

2

By James Sproston at the Sports Centre Our W1 badminton side continued this season’s incredible form with another 6-2 win over third-placed York.

Newcastle went into the Northern 1A

fixture still in a fierce promotion battle with Durham 1s. Both teams had managed to chalk up 22 points throughout the season, but Durham were at the disadvantage, having lost to Newcastle back in November and having played an extra game.

York, on the other hand, were in a distant third position, with 15 points.

However, they still had something to play for as Manchester were just three points behind, and threatening to leapfrog them into the top three.

So, with plenty at stake, the first

“However their experience and class shone through” wood 21-6 21-4 in a very comfortable

1

league game in hand over 2nd-placed Durham

Resiliant: Cara Vincenti and Claudia Heggie lead the fightback against York Image: James Sproston

Back on Court One, Newcastle’s second pair of Cara Vincenti and Claudia Heggie took on Charlotte Whiting and Ciara Barry. The York pair took the first set 21-16 as the Newcastle girls struggled to find their range, however their experience and class shone through, clinching a very tight second set 21-19, and wrapping up the match in the third with a more convincing 21-12 scoreline.

Having taken the first round of matches 3-1, Newcastle were looking confident as Nagai and Lu took back to the court. It was the former’s turn to take on Wilson this time round, and the Yorkie was tough opposition. However, Nagai again showed her class, beating her opponent with a range of quality

shots, from deft drop shots to powerful smashes, winning 21-9 21-3.

Lu’s next match panned out in a similar manner. Having conceded 11 points in the first set, Lu was far superior to Eastwood in the second, finishing with a comfortable 21-5 winning set.

Though the fixture already wrapped up, the doubles pairs showed no sign of complacency. Vincenti and Heggie put up a strong fight against Sinclair and Peatman in the first set, just falling short as the York pair took the set 21-19. With the confidence of the first set victory, Sinclair and Peatman then battled to a 21-14 second set win.

In the final fixture of the day, Cain and Puttick took on Whiting and Barry.

With both teams having lost their earlier fixtures, they were keen to end on a high. Though the York pair won the first set, Newcastle won the second. In a nailbiting finale, Cain and Puttick showed their class to seal an 18-21 21-17 21-14 victory. A top quality performance to top off an impressive performance.

The victory comes with a tinge of sadness however, since the win was Aika Nagai’s last fixture with the club. Being the top gals they are, her teammates had got her a massive cookie and a card, as well as a haggis dinner, courtesy of Cara Vincenti, as a send-off.

Nevertheless, the team have to now focus on their last fixture against Manchester. Durham’s win against Northumbria not only puts them level at the top of the league, but cuts into Newcastle’s game difference, so our girls will hope to get a result against the Mancunians to reign supreme.

MVP

Aika Nagai

Sport

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CHEER SHOWCASE, P.39

Sports Editors: Lucy Brogden, Tom Shrimplin & James Sproston courier.sport@ncl.ac.uk Twitter: @Courier_Sport | Instagram: thecouriersport

POOL NATIONALS, P.38

BUCS BADMINTON, P.39 Emma Little demonstrates a powerful mirror block against Bristol Image: BUCS Sport

Water Polo make final four

BUCS Super Eights

By Lucy Brogden at Ponds Forge

Newcastle’s women’s firsts headed down to Sheffield last weekend to compete in the BUCS super eights for the opportunity to make it through to Big BUCS Wednesday, and be crowned BUCS champions.

The team, who finished third in the Premier North, were in group one with Bristol, Edinburgh and Sheffield Hallam. To make it through to finals the team had to place in the top two, which meant beating at least two of the teams in their group.This was a daunting prospect since both Edinburgh and Sheffield Hallam are in Newcastle’s league, but Newcastle had yet to beat either of the teams, losing to Edinburgh, and fighting hard for a draw against Hallam (the three year reigning BUCS champions) earlier in the season. Bristol were not to be counted out either, sitting comfortably at the top of the premier southern league with a goal difference of 131 over second place, Cambridge.

Despite this, Newcastle were confident in their chances thanks to an influx of new talent from national league players in the form of Holly Short, Harriet Robinson, and Gemma Deacon, and promising new freshers, Rowena Moores and

Tara Twine, mixed in with an already confident and established squad.

Last year Newcastle suffered disappointment in the contest, failing to make it through to finals after a complacent performance at semis following their silver medal finish in the competition the year before. With many squad members graduating in June, the team were determined to make an impact.

Newcastle kicked off their two- day contest against a strong Edinburgh side. Due to academic commitments, key team member (and runner up in the Courier’s sports personality of the year) Emma Little, was unable to play in the match. This loss was certainly felt, as despite the Toon’s best efforts, and Sophie Sowerby’s amazing covers, they succumbed to a crushing 20-4 loss; not the campaign start they were hoping for.

MVP against Edinburgh:

Sophie Sowerby

After a hearty feed at a popular chicken restaurant on the Friday night, Newcastle were ready for action on Saturday morning in their 10am fixture against Bristol. With Little back at the helm, and surrounded by a side of national league players Newcastle looked strong, but it was still a palpably tense affair.

Coach, Andy Little, mainly kept the

same starting seven in for the entirety of the match, and the team worked as a unit. National league fresher, Holly Short, was the undisputed MVP scoring some ‘absolute blinders’ in the words of captain, Beth Laidlaw, abandoning her trademark bottom left corner shots in favour of some perfectly timed, exquisitely placed lob shots which caught the Bristolians off guard. As the match progressed into the final quarter, Newcastle established a slim, one- goal lead.

A last-ditch attempt to equalise from Bristol was halted by an exquisite save by club president and keeper, Jess Newman, leaving the final score at 11-10.

MVP against Bristol:

Holly Short

The final fixture of the day for group one was when Newcastle and Hallam faced off for the last place on offer at finals. With Edinburgh cruising through the group stages undefeated, and Sheffield drawing against Bristol, Newcastle only had to win or draw to secure their place at finals thanks to their win over Bristol earlier in the day.

Although Newcastle scored the first goal of the match, Hallam showed their promise and quickly took the lead 2-1 in the opening minutes. In the water, a Hallam player swum into Sarah Poyntz’s

elbow and came out with a broken nose, resulting in table officials controversially branding Newcastle the dirtiest team of the competition.

As if the drama in the pool wasn’t enough, there was plenty unfolding on poolside, with Coach Little excelling himself by managing to get red-carded by the referee for arguing, and asked to leave the pool in only the third quarter.

He then went to the viewing gallery and attempted to continue to coach, but was asked to leave poolside altogether.

“Newcastle played well, sealing a 13-10 win, and their place in the BUCS finals”

In the meantime, the drown alarm was set off in the men’s match after a Bristol player received a serious back injury during play, so all matches were halted for five minutes. Thankfully, quick reactions from the Manchester Metropolitan keeper helped to get the player out of the pool safely, and the women’s match resumed.

As the match re-started captain Laidlaw took responsibility for substitutions, and Newcastle played a strong defensive game, with Megan Lord dropping hard on Hallam’s pit, forcing their wingers to shoot when they weren’t

comfortable doing so.

Fresher, Moores, made an impact during her time in the water, swimming the ball all the way up to other end of the pool and getting a man sent out, resulting in a penalty for the Toon, which Little seamlessly converted. Despite missing their coach, Newcastle played well, sealing a 13-10 win, and their place in the BUCS finals.

MVP against Sheff Hallam:

Megan Lord

Just five days later, the Water Polo Club learned that their Men’s 1st team have also booked their place in Bath.

The boys overcame a very strong Liverpool side on penalties, after the game itself finished 7-7. Newcastle keeper, interim 2s captain and club social secretary Owen Herman saved the 5th and decisive Liverpool penalty.

However, whether the team will actually make it to Bath is another question, since they are struggling to find the funds to head down south for the two- day, mid-week competition. Currently their best hopes rest on securing a sponsorship deal from squidgy malt loaf company, Soreen, such is the severity of the situation. It would be a pity for their journey to end here, so we hope the club manage to find the funds to compete.