Courier 1322

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STAR WARS QUIZ Your knowledge why not test? p.33

The Independent Voice of Newcastle Students

BEAUTY GIFTS The best festive offerings

from the beauty world p. 25

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MOVEMBER’S OVER The best and worst of the

toon’s ‘taches p. 44

Flirting for charity: RAG speed dating, p.7

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Vice-Chancellor to retire at end of 2016 News of Professor Brink’s retirement circulated in email to students

By Antonia Velikova News Editor In an email circulated to all students last week, Professor Chris Brink, Vice-Chancellor of the University, announced that he will be retiring on 31 December 2016.

Professor Brink, who will be turning 65 next year, has been Vice-Chancellor of the University since 2007.

“Underpinning all our work at Newcastle has been a philosophy of excellence, but excellence with a purpose, and I am looking forward to seeing this come through in the initiatives we have underway for 2016,” Professor Brink said in his statement. “I recommend to you again the two key questions about our academic work which have guided

University key initiatives will be progressing normally in 2016

our vision of a world-class civic univer- change, not only in the University, but sity over the past few years: ‘What are also in the city,” said Mark I’Anson, we good at?’, and ‘What are we good Newcastle’s governing Chair. “The Unifor?’” versity’s partnership with Newcastle After gaining his PhD at Cambridge, City Council to develop Science Central Professor Brink has held numerous from a former derelict site to an exemacademic posts in universities all over plar of urban sciences and digital techthe world. He has served on the Boards nology, creating jobs, new business and of the QAA and the academic excellence, is Equality Challenge “Chris Brink has a very visible example Unit, Board of Unihis vision.” pioneered huge of For versities UK and the the next year, Leadership, Govern- change, not only in Professor Brink has ance and Management promised to “continue Strategic Advisory the University, but to progress the UniCommittee of HEFCE. key initiatives also in the city” versity’s He has also delivered to improve further the addresses at various student experience Higher Education conferences around here in Newcastle. These include the the world. on-going refurbishment of the Arm“Chris Brink has pioneered huge strong Building, the redevelopment

Successor for position to be appointed next year

of Richardson Road accommodation block and extension to the Sports Centre and Science Central where work on the new Urban Sciences Building is set to begin next month.”

“Chris has now initiated an ambitious programme of investment in the University’s research capability. ‘Raising the Bar’ is a multi-million pound initiative to develop the academic strengths of the institution, supporting existing staff by providing new funds and facilities and also to recruit new researchers and PhD students. Chris will continue to champion this crucial project throughout next year,” Mark I’Anson added.

During 2016 Professor Brink will also be focussed on overseeing important developments at Newcastle’s international campuses. These include the first year of the University’s new London

campus, building the research activity of its Singapore operation and its medical school in Malaysia and finalising Newcastle’s partnership with Xiamen University in China.

A Professor of Mathematics, Chris Brink, who is originally from South Africa, joined Newcastle from Stellenbosch University in the Western Cape.

As its Rector and Vice-Chancellor he was the head of a revolutionary project that set teaching quality, diversity and research for public good as its main goal He also initiated, with the city’s Mayor, a town-and-gown collaboration called ‘Reinventing Stellenbosch’ aimed at overcoming the divisions of the apartheid era.

Professor Brink’s successor will be appointed sometime in 2016, according to the email.

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An interview with Newcastle MP Chi Onwurah The Courier infiltrates Bulgarian media

COMMENT

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Student perspectives on Corbyn revealed

CULTURE

17 20 27 34 37 39

Blind Date:

Samantha meets Max

The worlds of fashion and tech collide

Monday 30 November 2015

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Deputy Editor: Mark Sleightholm News Editors: Antonia Velikova, Peter Georgiev, Sinead Corkett-Beirne & Sophie Norris courier.news@ncl.ac.uk | @TheCourier_News

Kili climb for charity

By Sophie Norris News Editor Over summer 2015, 11 students climbed Mount Kilimanjaro in support of COCO, a Newcastle-based charity.

The charity, which was set up in 1999, aims to provide education for children from poverty-stricken countries in Africa in order that they can fulfil their potential.

Student volunteer Hannah Randall told The Courier: “I decided to take part in Climbing Kilimanjaro project at a Newcastle University freshers’ event.

“It was something that I had never thought about before but when I saw the impact that the money would have, it was a no-brainer for me.

“I started training about nine months beforehand at the gym, but as long as you’re fit and healthy and exercise regularly I don’t think anyone would have a problem.”

Fundraising for this year and last year’s treks raised over £25,000.

Currently they focus on Kenya, Uganda and Tanzania, however Ghana and South Africa are being increasingly included in the charity’s work.

Previous successes of the organisation have focused around the develop-

ment and eventual self-sustaining of schools.

They have set up two nursery schools, Uwawayaki and Olomayani, providing both the building and setting up a chicken farm to help the school to selfsustain.

They raised money for a ‘Schools for Life’ project, launched in July 2014, which aims to provide solutions to poverty which will ultimately benefit more children in Africa.

The ‘Schools of Life’ consist of six elements that they believe will improve access to education.

These are shelter, power, water, food, recreation and entrepreneurship.

Additionally, COCO organise an annual ball, coast and castles cycle challenge, Maasai cycle challenge and golf days.

Hannah added: “COCO are always looking for volunteers to help promote and fundraise for events.

“They offer opportunities for students to take part in, one of the events being our annual trek up Kilimanjaro.

“All opportunities COCO offer look brilliant on your CV and show a variety of skills.

“We are eager for people to join the society and we are looking for people to sign up for next year’s trek.”

“When I saw the impact that the money would have, it was a no-brainer for me”

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COCO provides accessible education for all Images: Imogen Carmichael-Jack

Editor Victoria Armstrong Deputy Editor Mark Sleightholm News Editors Antonia Velikova, Peter Georgiev, Sophie Norris and Sinead Corkett-Beirne Comment Editors Jack Dempsey, Adam Thompson and Daniel Robertson Culture Editors Ellie McLaren and Laura Staniforth Lifestyle Editors Lauren Exell, Ruth Loeffler, Katie Ackerley and Fiona Callow Fashion Editors Sara Macauley, Ellen Dixon and Liz Rosling Beauty Editors Lucy Cochrane, Ellen Walker and Flo Davies Arts Editors Holly Suttle, Jade Holroyd and Emily Watton Film Editors Rhian Hunter, Simon Ramshaw and Emma Allsopp TV Editors Helen Daly, Jack Parker and Hannah Bunting Music Editors Jamie Shepherd, Dominique Daly and Connor McDonnell Science Editors Iqra Choudhry, Louise Bingham and Anna Jastrzembska Gaming Editors Ollie Burton, James McCoull and Michael Hicks Sports Editors Calum Wilson, Alex Hendley and Lewis Bedford

The Courier is printed by: Print and Digital Associates, Fernleigh House, 10 Uttoxeter Road, Derby, Derbyshire, United Kingdom, DE3 0DA. Established in 1948, The Courier is the fully independent student newspaper of the Students’ Union at Newcastle University. The Courier is published weekly during term time, and is free of charge.

The design, text, photographs and graphics are copyright of The Courier and its individual contributors. No parts of this newspaper may be reproduced without the prior permission of the Editor. Any views expressed in this newspaper’s comment pieces are those of the individual writing, and not of The Courier, the Students’ Union or Newcastle University.

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Monday 30 November 2015

Girl power: FemSoc takes part in annual Reclaim the Night anti-violence march

By Louise Hall Last Saturday, November 21, Newcastle University Feminist Society walked through the streets of Newcastle with the annual Reclaim the Night march.

The marches protest violence against women.

Reclaim the night marches began in the UK on the 12th November 1977, as the Leeds Revolutionary Feminist Group coordinated torchlight marches in many cities across Britain.

The campaign raises awareness of rape and the fear of women to walk the streets alone at night because of this threat.

Femsoc met at 5.30pm outside the Students Union to come together and joined the rest of the campaigners in Old Eldon Square.

The march began at 6.30pm and despite the cold weather more than 80 people turned out for the event.

Many women handed out signs that read ‘This Is Our Night’ and ‘This Is A Dress Not A Yes’ as the Bangshees, a female samba drumming band with brightly lit drums, began to play loudly.

The society gathered and talked with other members of the public as the march started to form; an opportunity to meet some of the many feminists involved.

Lucy Morgan, the vice president of

Femsoc and the Gender Equality Officer of the Student Union said: “It is really important for Femsoc to be involved in local activism to raise a profile of student activism in general, specifically with regards to feminism to ensure that everyone hears our voice.”

The united group marched from the square onto Northumberland Street, chanting slogans such as “who’s streets?

Our streets” to loud drumming music.

The march continued throughout Newcastle city centre.

The march turned right onto Northumbria campus with the enthusiasm of the women and men still high despite the temperature falling to below freezing.

Reghan Mitchell-Casey, a first year Psychology student at Newcastle University and member of the Feminist Society said: “The march confronts a serious issue that is not addressed enough in our society.

“It is accepted that girls should be scared of walking home after dark, and the real fear of harassment or rape when walking home alone is an everyday

struggle that I and many of my friends face.

“This needs to be changed, and the Reclaim the Night march allows our voice to be heard.”

Hufty, a woman who has been involved in the Reclaim the Night for 30 years said: “As long as women continue to be abused and raped and unsafe on the streets it remains important that we take part in Reclaim the Night marches to reclaim the streets for women and girls.

“We hope to make the streets safer for women and make a point to members of the public that the streets are not currently safe for women and that we need them to be.”

While walking along Northumbria Universities’ main campus the march turned into the university sports centre where its route ended.

The night of protest was not over, however, as people gathered into one of the sport’s halls conference rooms to hear prominent feminist speakers come forward to talk about the cause Reclaim the Night supports.

“It is accepted that girls should be scared of walking home after dark...

This needs to be changed”

The Feminist society annually takes part in the march Images: Louse Hall

Julia Charlton, Chair of the TUC Women’s Group began the conference.

Leading the discussion she spoke of how women shouldn’t be scared to go out after dark.

Her speech emphasised the importance of the history for women’s struggle for equality, through the formation and protests of the 20th century Suffragette movement. She also spoke of the future of the struggle for equality, explaining how it is estimated that the gender pay gap will not be closed until 2033.

Dr Ruth Lewis, Senior Lecturer and Programme Leader in Sociology at Northumbria University, continued the discussion, expanding the focus to the concept of ‘lad culture.’ Dr Lewis commented on how ladism could be defined as violence against, and the objectification of women, subtly within society.

Criticising pact mentality within groups of young privileged men, Lewis provided the statistic that 1 in 7 female students are subbjected to serious sexual or physical violence throughout their time at university.

The speakers also emphasised the positive effects events such as Reclaim the Night are having on these issues.

Compulsory education classes about consent are now being held in universities such as Cambridge along with the

encouragement of bystander intervention against harassment of women.

Jenni Yuill speaker for the NoMorePage3 Campaign also spoke of success in the fight for gender equality.

On January the 22nd 2015 their campaign and 215,000 signature petition against The Sun newspaper led to the abolition of the page 3 topless model feature of the paper.

Concluding the discussion Julia Charlton thanked everyone for their participation and expressed the desire that next year Reclaim the Night could only become a more larger and influential event.

Reclaim the Night marches have experienced an annual revival throughout November, as a result of the impending government cuts threatening the refuge and rape crisis movements in the UK. The marches take place all over the county not only in Newcastle but in cities such as London, Birmingham, Leeds and Oxford.

Their purpose is to demand justice for survivors and raise awareness of the persistent problem of male violence against women.

The turnout for the march both from Newcastle University Feminist Society and the general public evidences the real desire of these women to reclaim the night.

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Monday 30 November 2015

The Courier

Chi Onwurah discusses her early life, political Chi Onwurah is a British Labour Party Politician and has been a MP for Newcastle upon Tyne Central since 2010. Under Jeremy Corbyn’s leadership, she currently serves as Shadow Minister for Business, Innovation and Skills, as well as Culture Media and Sport. Onwurah was born in Wallsend and obtained a degree in Electrical Engineering from Imperial College London. Speaking to Alexandra Wild and News Editor Sinead CorkettBeirne, she discusses her early life, political career and her opinions of Corbyn.

Chi Onwurah at the opening of Freedom Festival 2017 Image: Mike Urwin

Tell us a bit about yourself first. Your father participated in the Biafran Army, and you yourself were involved in the Anti-Apartheid movement.

Yes that’s right, my father was from Nigeria and he came to Newcastle to study medicine at the university. He met my mother and they married, had me, then my father wanted [us] to go back to Nigeria. Whilst we were there, the Biafran War broke out and he was drafted into the army as a medical doctor. We all moved to Port Harcourt which I can’t really remember as I was only a baby but then my brother was born during the Biafran War and things got really bad so my mum and us kids came back to Newcastle but my father stayed in the army. I don’t know if he couldn’t leave or he didn’t want to leave, but he stayed.

look.

I went to the centre where they’re collecting stuff for the migrants a few weeks ago, it’s quite amazing the level of generosity. I think that we have basic things that make us human and humane, and supporting and helping vulnerable people is part of that. I think that it’s right that we take in refugees and that we support them.

Obviously we can’t take in everybody, and that’s where it gets difficult because just [from] Syria alone there are millions but it’s a small percentage that get through to us, so it’s right that we should support refugees, but also you need to put in the housing, you need to put in the school places to help make it easier for the refugees but also easier for the communities alone.

That must have influenced you You mentioned in an article from greatly, Did that have an impact on the New Statesman (Anoosh Chakeyou wanting to move into politics? lian, 25th July, 2014) that you thought It certainly influenced me greatly, Parliament was the most diverse One of my earliest memories was tak- working atmosphere and the most ing off in the plane in gender balanced. the dark because we Well, I said it was “We should couldn’t have any lights the most diverse and and there were air raids support refugees, gender-balanced worksirens so I think it ining environment I’d but you also fluenced me about my experienced, because views on war and peace need to put in the I worked in engineerand also my views on ing before going into the importance of po- housing, you need Parliament. I worked litical solutions. over the world in to put in the school all The other big influengineering but always places to help ence was obviously my women never got above upbringing in North 10%. make it easier Kenton in Newcastle. for [them] and When we came back Apparently the from Nigeria we had the communities amount of women nothing. We went to working in such areas live with my grandma has decreased by 4% in alone” in a council flat – her the past 30 years of you one-bedroom pensioner’s council flat having studied electrical engineering. on the Montague estate – until the Do you have any suggestions for womcouncil rehoused us after about six en wanting to study STEM subjects in months. We benefited a lot from public regard to this figure? services: we got a council house, we all Yes, I was speaking at the Newcastle went to the local schools, which were University’s Department of Engineerfantastic and enabled me to get a great ing on women in STEM. I was there for education, and the NHS. about two hours [and] it was really good My mother had breast cancer and she to see so many female engineers. There had to have a masectomy but the NHS were a lot of men there as well, interestsaved her life. I would say it’s more my ingly! There were about 50 people there, experience of fantastic public services I’d say 20 of them were men. So you’re when we had nothing that made me absolutely right, it amazes me that since think how important it was always to I graduated, figures haven’t got any betstruggle to get the opportunities to sup- ter and in some cases have got worse. port people when they were in difficult One of the things I said [at the talk] times. is that there are lots of initiatives which are great, such as Athena SWAN, but I Do you think that could link as well to got a woman in science and engineering the refugee crisis at the moment? We’ve scholarship when I went to university, been hearing a lot that Newcastle wants so they were trying to do it then as well! to house a lot of refugees and migrants.

What I hope has changed is two What do you think about that? things really: leadership has changed, Well I was born in Wallsend, so I was so I think it’s not just women who are both born here and returned here as a talking about this, it is also business refugee which is quite a unique perspec- leaders and men as well who are realistive. Interestingly, I know that the year ing that having all-male teams is not the that we came back, which was 1967, best way to develop the kind of innovayou had Martin Luther King getting a tive products and services we need if doctorate from Newcastle University, we’re going to be competitive. We need and the Lord Mayor’s charity that year to have a better balance; I also think was Biafra. So it’s clear that Newcastle that, for the younger generation, some has always had strong support for civil of the stereotypes seem outmoded and rights as well as that international out- outdated, more so than they did when I

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Monday 30 November 2015

career, the Labour Party and the refugee crisis was in my teens.

freedom of informed choice, and then that the courses are there for them to choose, so they’re not influenced by gender stereotypes or by media images or whatever; informed free choice, and then you try and get the resources left to support them.

mind to Andy Burnham in the Labour leadership election. What influenced your change of mind? What do you think of Corbyn’s leadership so far?

I nominated Jeremy Corbyn because I wanted us to have a broad debate and the three candidates that were standing - Andy, Yvette, and Liz - were saying similar things on a lot of issues, particularly on austerity. I didn’t realise how successful it was going to be. There was very little chance ever that I was going to vote for Jeremy Corbyn as leader because there were some areas that I specifically disagree with him on, as does most of the Parliamentary party. For example on Europe, on unilateral nucleur disarmament, and some other areas. Also, I think a leader has to be really credible with people when it comes to the economy. I nominated Corbyn early in the campaign and there were a lot of things that he was saying that I liked but it was more to do with what Andy was saying that I thought he was more likely to put us in a position to win the election without comprimising our values but 70% of the Labour membership disagree with me. It’s quite a stunning portion. Things that people like about Jeremy: he’s changed the way politics works - Prime Ministers Questions has really changed. I think that’s very positive. He shows up David Cameron for being arrogant and under-briefed. Obviously [Corbyn] comes under attack a lot from the media and to be honest, he hasn’t handled the media or his communications as effectively as he could have done. He’s not accustomed to being in this position. I’m not sure that he ever wanted to - he’s not particularly ambitious in a way. A lot of what he is saying resonates around austerity not being the only option. For example, about public railways being in public ownership which I agree with that, things around defence and our economic policies

I want to discuss another more serious topic relating to women: there have been many instances of sexual assaults, particularly against women, in Newcastle, especially the city centre. There is also this ‘lad culture’ that gives a really bad reputation to peoGreat, I am glad you think that! We ple on campus. What are your views want to discuss another student issue on that, and what now: housing would you suggest and accommoda“I think it’s entirely we do in order to tion. We read in combat these is- unacceptable that there an article in The sues and this bethat should be any kind of Chronicle haviour? you have comI think you’re culture in the university mented upon right, that’s a really social housing or anywhere which important question. and there was an promotes misogyny” image based on I think it’s entirely unacceptable that the Newcastle there should be any kind of culture in Metro map which provided the averthe university or anywhere which pro- age monthly rent to show the stark motes misogyny or the objectification of contrast. women or a frivolous attitude towards Oh yeah that was brilliant, it was the sexual assault and date rape, or spiking amount per month for a two-bedroom drinks for example. flat per station.

I really hope that Newcastle University is on this and is making it absolutely Yes, students tend to live in Jesclear that it won’t be tolerated. I’ve had mond, for which the average is £713 examples of parties organised by Stu- a month, and West Jesmond is £863. dents’ Unions across the country which Obviously one could live further afield I wouldn’t have said were supportive of to save money but still a lot of my savwomen or of constructive relationships, ings have gone on rent alone – the stuFor example with some of the language dent loan itself basically just covers they use. I think all of that absolutely housing with only a small amount of needs to be highlighted, I think it needs income to spare, and then you factor to be named and shamed. I think that’s in the price of estate agent fees etc. what the authorities need to do.

Labour has addressed this recently – I visited the Feminist Society [at what are your opinions on all of this?

Newcastle University] about two years Well I’ve got a lot of opinions on all of ago. It was great having that strong this! I think on a macro level, housing voice for women and discussing these is broken in this country, particularly in things. I went to Imperial University London: you have the bubble of house and I wouldn’t say it had a ‘lad culture’ prices rising so that ordinary people but it had that public school boy culture, will never be able to afford to buy where so some of the things that we did then they live, but even in Newcastle, as I was expose it in newspapers and also I think that map shows, you’ve got rental remember feeling very empowered by a prices being pushed up and the council defence class that I took. not having the means to invest in social What would you do differently in housing to reduce those pressures on it, terms of economic policy? How do I definitely think our Feminist Soci- and many people are being forced into you feel Jeremy Corbyn isn’t quite ety does do a lot, I think they’re very private renting who don’t necessarily credible? visible on campus, and they’ve got want to.

I’m not convinced by the idea that involved in the Student Union comIn terms of private landlords par- quantative easing pays for everything mittee as well so I definitely think that ticularly, we did a lot of work in this so what Jeremy and John put forward organising defence classes and so on area and [there were] families having during the campaign was that printwould be a really good idea. to move home every six months, the ing money would be needed in order Yeah, that’s good. I liked the Reclaim lack of security of to invest in infrathe Night event a couple of years back as tenure, the private “The housing is broken structure etc. I’m well because it was a celebration - there landlords being in this country. You’ve not sure that printwas drumming, there was dancing, it able to evict people ing money is the wasn’t a miserable thing, it was an em- when they want to, got rental prices being best way to do it as powering thing, which was really good. and also there’s no it might cause all pushed up and the incentive necessarsorts of other isGoing back to engineering, both Si- ily to keep up good sues. I think there council not having néad and I do ‘arts’ subjects, so English conditions. is good borrowing the means to invest Language and Classics respectively, So what we wantand bad borrowing. how do you view arts subjects versus ed to do is not to If you’re borrowing in social housing” vocational subjects, and do you think scare people out of for everyday things, more funding should be put towards the private renting sector, because it’s that’s bad borrowing. If you’re borrowthe latter and science subjects? important that that’s there, but to give ing in order to build a school which is I’m now the Shadow Minister for Cul- some greater security to people who going to educate people to get great jobs ture and the Digital Economy, so culture are renting, and also more rights on the and build the economy of the future, is part of my brief, and it’s always been quality of what you’re renting. you might think that’s good borrowing. a really important part of my life. The One thing the Tories hated was that Businesses do a lot of good things in this first Shakespeare I saw was at Northern once you had agreed to rent [a home] country which doesn’t come off clearly Stage when I was nine or ten, it was Ju- then the rent shouldn’t go up by more in what he says. What Jeremy Corbyn lius Caesar, so I think the arts, culture, than the cost of inflation, and there’s built his campaign upon is not Labour creativity are really important in and of also the issue of empty homes. We’ve party policy - it’s not the way we work. themselves. got 4000 empty homes in Newcastle and We’re not a dictatorship. Policies have to Also you can solve [problems of en- about 4000 families on the waiting list be developed and agreed and then we gineering] better if you’re creative, and for the council housing. can go out and campaign. you have a rounded vision of humanity So yes, we think the housing market is and the human experience. I empha- broken, the Tories don’t agree with this I think that Corbyn has attracted sise STEM a lot because of the lack of but the government can do something a lot more people to join the Labour women going into STEM and the lack about it. It does need government inter- party, particularly those who are of gender balance, as well as the fact that vention, and that is in terms of support- young. Why is this the case? we need specific skills to deal with some ing housing building, and also in terms I think Ed Miliband had lots of great of the challenges around climate change of regulating private landlords. I’d also qualities in terms of making it easy to etc. say that if students do have issues with identify what is the difference between I don’t think it should be about mov- their landlords then they should see Labour and the Tories. We weren’t effecing funding from the arts to STEM sub- their MPs, who might be able to help. tive enough in that, I think pandering jects because they’re all very important. more to the idea of austerity didn’t atWhat I really want to do is ensure that I am aware that you nominated Jere- tract a lot of young people. young people particularly have a real my Corbyn but then you changed your

Chi Onwurah practising a speech Image: Andrea Contri

Chi Onwurah discusses challenges of the 21st Century Image: Policy Exchange

6.news

Monday 30 November 2015

The Courier

Fruks features in first finance conference

By Valentina Egorova Champagne corks were popping at the Law school to celebrate the first Newcastle University Finance Conference.

Hosted by Newcastle University Private Equity & Venture Capital Club, the event was hailed as a massive success.

The Finance conference brought together four speakers from Morgan Stanley, Deutsche Bank, Northstart ventures and Fruks, the trading platform for students.

These leading professionals gave an insight into investments, private equities, banking and emerging markets.

Dr Michelle Cooper, investment manager from Northstart ventures, after giving a talk about funded venture capital firms in sparkling industry of the North East, commented: “I love the fact that university is interested in investments. I was not thinking about anything even remotely like this when I was a student.

“I think there was a very diverse audience across all kinds of different disciplines and everyone has that level of interest in investment, market and private equity - it’s fantastic.”

The Finance Conference was organized by co-founders of Newcastle University Private Equity & Venture Capital Club, Felix Curtis and William Leppard.

Speaking to The Courier, Felix and William said: “The purpose of the event was to

break the conventional image large institutional banks have of Russell Group Universities and demonstrate the willingness and ability there is in finance in students.

“It was also a great introduction to provide students with a platform to network with professionals in the finance industry given by an emerging society.

“We are extremely proud of this venture and we hope to continue to contribute to our dear Newcastle University in our way” The conference featured Newcastle University student Andrea Cavallo, who ran a talk about his rapidly developing start-up.

Almost a year ago, he along with his friends decided to build a student commission-free platform to buy and sell items between students at their university.

Later in his interview for The Courier, Cavallo recalled how they started the business: “We were annoyed about the fact that people were trying to sell stuff on Facebook and their items were mixed up with everything.

“We decided to build a basic platform and try it out on a small audience, a business school in the north of France.

It worked and attracted the majority of students.

“Fruks.com is now implemented in various universities across France and the UK. “It’s many hours of work, but it’s an incredible experience and would rec-

“There was a very diverse audience across all kinds of different disciplines”

Krishan Tanna, Javier Tello, Tom Cullen and Christopher Vinter Image: Valentina Egorova ommend anyone with an idea to get started.”

He added that he was delighted to participate in Finance Conference: “The conference was a great success, I enjoyed it as much as a listener and a speaker.

“Will and Felix have worked hard in starting this Venture and Capital club as well as finding impressive speakers

from world known firms.

“We hope there will be many more conferences to come.“ Felix and Will are not going to stop at this achievement, they are already making plans for the future: “As a result of the success we achieved in the conference, we are now thinking of the future of our club.

“We believe that the future of our

club is heading towards gaining our first sponsorship contract with a company.

“We are planning of not only hosting conferences, but to organise specific trips to London and abroad to provide the opportunity for our members to experience finance from different cultures.

“We are extremely excited about the future of our club and hope to continue the level of growth we are ongoing.”

The Courier

news.7

Monday 30 November 2015

Students join Assembly to rally against cuts

By Sophie Norris News Editor Students and members of the wider community came together to rally against the rumoured proposals in George Osborne’s Autumn Statement last Tuesday.

Members of the North East People’s Assembly met outside City Library and marched up Northumberland Street to the Civic Centre, holding banners to express their support.

Over 400 people attended the march, many of whom were members of UNISON, one of the UK’s largest trade unions, or NUS, the National Union of Students.

UNISON represents the public sector workers in the UK. Along with members of the union, flags were held on behalf of the Green Party and Newcastle Teacher’s Association.

Speeches were given by Newcastle and Northumbria University students, teachers and other supporters, all of whom called for George Osborne to reconsider cuts that were to be announced in his Autumn Statement which was released on Wednesday 25 November.

Supporters argued that cuts would negatively affect education, health and public services.

In a U-turn, Osborne announced that proposals to cut tax credits had been rejected in the House of Lords.

The statement also announced the handing over of more powers to regional governments as part of devolution plans.

This supports Osborne’s previous emphasis on the ‘Northern Powerhouse’ that centralises on North West England.

2nd year Business and Politics student Robert said: “Young people are affected the most.

“There are so many students here today. Financially, young people have been hit the strongest. There have been cuts to MA funding, tuition fees, and there are other services that councils are being forced to cut. Youth services in Gateshead have been cut by twothirds. These are all essential services that prevent young people from going into more costly services.”

Robert added: “For example, youth services can prevent issues with mental health, but they are just non-existent now.”

The NHS will make efficiency savings of £22bn and cut 25% from its Whitehall budget.

Another participant of the rally, Mr Jay Hall said: “The reason we’re doing taking part in this march tonight is because the government is setting out a course of austerity that aims to transfer wealth from the poor to the rich.

“We’ve already seen an increasing gap between the rich and poor and they want to make it even worse.

“These cuts will mean more cuts and increased unemployment.”

Speakers focused mainly on the cuts to education, both for young children and adults. They expressed anger about cuts to the Disabled Students’ Allowance (DSA) and cuts to the Open University funding.

Many people also discussed the cuts to student maintenance grants that were announced in the Summer Budget in July this year.

Ultimately, Osborne announced £12 billion worth of cuts to the welfare budget.

Over 400 people rallied against Osborne’s rumoured proposals Image: Jack Dempsey

Apprentice scheme crowns champions

The charity event raised nearly £600 for Movember Image: Hannah Sharratt

By Lauren Exell

RAG speed dating returns

By Mark Sleightholm Deputy Editor RAG’s speed dating evening returned last week, to raise money for the Movember Foundation. For £5 single students could meet new people in relaxed and familiar surroundings, and raise money for charity at the same time.

The event, titled ‘Tache on the Toon’, built on the success of RAG’s speed dating last year, when it formed part of S.H.A.G. Week. One of the chief organisers of this year’s event, Lauren Williamson, explained: “I decided to use a play on words, mixing Newcastle as a city, RAG and a charity to make a

use for the event, hence ‘Tache on the Toon’.”

The Movember Foundation “helps and fights men’s health issues, raising awareness,” Lauren added. Although moustaches were not compulsory, several of the male attendees did sport facial hair nonetheless.

About 120 students took part in the speed dating, raising just under £600 for the Movember Foundation. Lauren pointed out that this was more than twice the amount RAG raised during last year’s speed dating event.

The fun and flirting took place in Venue, amongst candles and petals, with many of the attendees heading to Sinners and then Powerhouse after-

wards.

A RAG cocktail was also available during the evening, and will continue to be sold in Mens Bar. 50 pence of the £3.50 price of each cocktail will go to charity.

Lauren said: “The event ran great and was the first big RAG event of the academic year, so was to set the standard for the other upcoming RAG events.”

The biggest event in the RAG calendar is RAG Week, which will happen in January and feature many charitable events, including live music, fashion shows and the annual “Jailbreak” challenge, where students try to get as far away from Newcastle as possible without spending any money.

The results of the NCL Apprentice competition were announced last Wednesday. The winners, Shanz Ramana and Louise Donnelly, were awarded with prize money totalling £500.

Apprentice is a three-week competition that allows candidates to develop and enhance their individual skills and confidence whilst being placed in business scenarios. During the first round, the forty participants were divided into teams of six and then given the task to come up with a children’s toy.

The teams had to pitch their product to business advisors from Newcastle University.

Each individual team was closely observed throughout the process. Out of a possible seven teams, three were eliminated at the end of the first round however if any individual from a losing team excelled during the tasks, exceptions were made to put them through.

The second round of the Apprentice competition tested the candidates’ ability to buy and negotiate. The teams were mixed up to ensure that it was fair. They were then given a list of random items that they had to obtain within a limited time scale whilst working on a budget of £15.

The aim of the task was to test the candidates’ ability to work collaboratively as part of a team whilst trying to

spend as little money as possible. During this round, one group in particular excelled as they managed to obtain all of the items without spending any money.

Twelve candidates made it through to the third round that involved devising a business plan for a food outlet located in Jesmond.

After being regrouped into pairs, the candidates then had to pitch their plan for a food outlet in Jesmond to a business advisor. Ramana, a third-year Biology student, and Donnelly, a first-year Marketing and Management student, were the winning pair as their idea not only seemed appealing to families, but also students.

They came up with a non-buffet world cuisine restaurant that would remain family orientated during the day. However to attract a student clientele, drink deals such as implementing a happy hour and cocktail offers should be available in the evening.

The judges claimed that one of the main reasons that the pair won the competition was because they addressed a current problem surrounding the relatively early times that many bars and restaurants close in Jesmond, as the restaurant would close at 1.30pm.

The pairs’ idea also tackled the problem of families or groups of friends disputing what type of cuisine to have when going for a meal. Additionally, it addressed the issue of world buffets which are often criticized that their food tends to be of a poor quality.

“The pair won because they addressed a current problem”

The Courier

news.9

Monday 30 November 2015

The journalist who became a football star News editor Peter Georgiev told Bulgarian sports media about his fake football career at Tottenham and Newcastle and they ran the story. Deputy editor Mark Sleightholm asked him how, and why, he did it

So, Pete, what made you decide to hoax the Bulgarian sports media?

I’ve often been quite disappointed with how the Bulgarian sports media handle different issues. Especially when it comes to transfer rumours, it’s something that they really like.

I decided to just try and see how they’re going to approach this event that a Bulgarian player, a young Bulgarian rising star, has attracted the interest of Tottenham Hotspur, first in 2010, and then Newcastle United in 2015, and it worked.

How did you go about doing it?

In 2010, I emailed the editors of Sportal.bg, which is the most famous Bulgarian sports media.

My email consisted of three sentences and I kind of wrote it as an article. Of course, three sentences is a really short article!

It said that 16-year-old rising talent Peter Georgiev from FC Slavia had been watched by Harry Redknapp – who at the time was Tottenham’s manager – and Redknapp decided to invite him to a two-week trial. Half an hour later, Sportal.bg published the article.

Last Saturday, I decided I needed a more complex, comprehensive strategy, so I sent an email again, and also attached a photo of a fake tweet which I had manufactured – it took me about ten minutes to do it.

I picked an unofficial Newcastle page and the tweet said, “Newcastle is glad to announce the signing of 20-year-old Bulgarian talent Petar Georgiev from Tottenham U21 team.”

What made you, in 2015, revisit the story that you had used in 2010?

I had been thinking about doing this for a while.

I just wanted to see if there was some progress in how Bulgarian sports media handle these stories.

Obviously, I don’t think there is much progress but I feel this experience has been very positive for me.

I look at this experiment as a journalistic research. Five years ago, I didn’t have the knowledge and the authority to analyse the outcome and present it to the public.

However, now that I have worked in the field of media for some time, I saw this as an opportunity to use my journalism experience and make important discoveries.

I believe these discoveries can be useful to journalists not just in Bulgaria but worldwide.

So how did events unfold?

On Saturday morning I woke up and decided to do this, so I fabricated the

After conquering the Premier League, Georgiev says he would like to retire at Barcelona in ten years Image: Ivaylo Georgiev tweet and sent an email to four sports media.

In my email, I told them about Newcastle having signed Peter Georgiev from Tottenham U21 team.

I then added: “I’m writing to you because I came across this story in the morning and I found it really interesting that you haven’t published the story.” So it was like I was helping them.

Three of the four media ran the story almost immediately.

Then I sent it to a fifth one, and they didn’t publish it on Saturday, but then did so on Sunday, after I had already revealed on Facebook that it wasn’t true!

On Sunday, I also told about my experiment to the sports editor of one of the most reputable Bulgarian media Dnevnik.bg.

I wanted to use Dnevnik.bg to get across my message so I wrote an article. The explanation was published on Monday.

Georgiev in the news studio of the Bulgarian National Television Image: Personal archive

This website usually gets around 20,000-25,000 readers on the most read story each day. This story got 18,000 on the first day.

What do you think this shows about the Bulgarian sports media?

The experiment illustrates that many sports journalists don’t take their time to filter user-generated content.

Nowadays, the flow of information circulating online is incredible.

Readers have developed this insatiable desire to read and consume more news, especially about football, which puts editors and writers under pressure to produce these news.

Bulgarian sports media often don’t have enough articles, so they decide to publish speculative stories, which are misleading and designed to provoke a response and generate readership.

Do you think this would happen in the UK? I actually found out that it has happened. But the responsible person fabricated a whole webpage, not just a tweet.

If it is just my short email with a fake tweet, then no, I don’t think that has any chance of going anywhere.

I have personally pitched many stories, serious stories, to the leading British media.

In these cases, I usually had to email them every week to even get noticed.

Is that what you were expecting to

happen?

Yeah, I think it was, which of course doesn’t mean that I wasn’t somewhat surprised and excited.

But before I did it, chances were that this was going to happen. I had the confidence from my attempt back in 2010, and now I had my very comprehensive strategy and I had improved on my last attempt.

What actually surprised me was that one of the media didn’t publish the story.

And another one actually thanked me for the information. In 2010, I didn’t get any response but now one of them gave me feedback, and I didn’t expect that.

Why do you think one of them didn’t publish the story?

I can think of two options. One is, they were suspicious and checked the source and the player involved.

Perhaps they googled my name and found out that I’m a journalism student, and not a football player.

If that’s the case, fantastic, I’m really glad they’ve done this.

But the other option is they just didn’t check their emails.

What has the reaction been like in Bulgaria since you revealed what you had done?

I received a lot of attention, which I didn’t expect. When I first did it in 2010, I didn’t reveal the results, I just discussed them with my friends.

This time, when I was approached by media personalities, I felt that I needed to say what I thought about it.

I believe this kind of story should spark a discussion.

What I like about the story is that it’s harmless but strong. The story could have been much more provocative; it

could have involved other people.

Someone with different intentions could have fabricated a tweet from a serious personality, say, a politician.

Still, although it’s harmless, it does reveal serious issues in some Bulgarian sports media.

Do you believe this event could cause change in Bulgarian media?

To be honest, I’m not very optimistic that this kind of story would be influential enough to cause major change.

But still, there is interest, and the story has reached a lot of people. I hope that the journalists who were involved will at least think about it and see where they can do better.

Overall, it seems that sports journalists in Bulgaria have an established set of practices and a way of producing news.

Some reporters and editors have developed habits, which can be damaging to their reputation, but also very difficult to correct.

On the other hand, however, Bulgaria also has many great journalists with real integrity who are constantly producing quality work. They are causing change on a daily basis. These are the people I look up to.

What has the reaction been like from your English friends?

Well my English friends still think that I’ve signed for Newcastle, and I probably have to give them some explanation!

In the end, it was fun, but at the same time it is something that I personally take very seriously.

This research is a valuable part of my work as a journalist and I will do my best to use the results for a comprehensive analysis.

10.nationalstudentnews

Monday 30 November 2015

The Courier

NEWSTACK Students stop senate Belfast

Protesters disrupted a meeting of Queen’s University Belfast’s University Senate. Fossil Free campaigners occupied the room where the meeting was due to take place, forcing it to be relocated.

This follows a string of similar actions in other universities across the UK aimed at getting the institutions to divest from fossil fuel companies.

At the same time, staff protested outside the meeting against legislative changes at the University, including the introduction of academic targets and changes to their contracts. This protest, which was organised with UCU, was a response to staff feeling that they were not consulted by the University about the changes. The Senate meeting was moved to another building, where the student activists attempted to gain entry, only to be stopped by campus security. The staff moved their protest to the new location and picketed outside the meeting.

Gender row continues York

FemSoc reclaims the night

Job Title: Campus Brand Manager Employer: Campus Brand Closing date: 31/12/2016 Salary: £7.50ph Basic job description: At Campus Group we are offering exciting roles to students all year round, and we’d love to have you on board! Become the face of leading brands, earn money in a flexible way and get those all-important CV perks to make you stand out in the world of graduate employment. We carry out marketing campaigns for brands such as Russian Standard Vodka, STA Travel, Bacardi and Fire Eater to name a few. Campus Brand Managers should always be up for something new, from event management to PR, promotional distribution to campus stunts, or even assisting in our national tours. As a CBM you’ll develop a multitude of transferrable skills, as well as having the best job on campus! Working hours are flexible and can be worked around your studies.

Person requirements: Campus Brand Managers are involved in a range of activities depending on the campaign and client, getting involved in all kinds of stuff on and around campus. This means you must work well in a team but also on your own, be organised, dedicated to task, and most importantly, full of energy!

Job Title: Customer Service Representative – General Insurance (Part-time) Employer: Tesco Bank Closing date: 01/01/2016 Salary: £16,990 - £18,337 (pro-rata) depending on experience Basic job description: Are you passionate about customer service? Do you have good interpersonal skills and can communicate well? If so then we are looking for people like you.

We are looking for innovative people with sales experience preferably from a contact centre or customer service background that are eager to look at new ways of improving the customer journey. We want people that put the customer at the heart of everything they do, can work well in a team and have the drive and commitment to serve our customers.

Person Requirements: Experience of delivering excellent customer service; Experience of using computers, keyboards and telephone systems.

Location: Tesco Bank, Quorum Business Park Job Title: Telephone Interviewer Employer: Populus Data Solutions Closing date: 31/12/2015

Salary: £6.70ph (plus bonus and holiday pay) Basic job description: We are looking for articulate and professional people to work at our friendly office based in Heaton.The hours are predominantly weekends with some evenings available, this opportunity is ideal for anyone looking for well-paid and flexible work that fits around study commitments.

Person Requirements: Good command of the English language written and verbal, polite and friendly approach, reliable and flexible.

Location: Newcastle upon Tyne Job Title: Shop Assistant Employer: Rehill’s of Jesmond Closing date: 31/12/2015 Salary: £6.70 Basic job description: The role will include stock handling and replenishment, cash handling and occasionally lifting heavy goods. Ideally we are looking for a candidate who can start as soon as possible. Hours are part time and flexible to fit around your studies with scope for extra hours during the summer months and during university holiday periods.

Person Requirements: Candidates need to be punctual and reliable. We will need someone who will be here in Newcastle for the duration of the summer, as well as the following academic term. So please only contact us if this applies to you.

Job description: Newcastle Work Experience – Flying Solo Magazine Editor Employer: Newcastle University Closing date: 8/12/2015 Salary: £700 Bursary Basic job description: For the past three years, the School of Modern Languages (SML) has produced a yearly multilingual magazine called “Flying Solo”.

Flying Solo is entirely devoted to the student experience during the Year Abroad and is entirely written by SML students. We want to continue growing and need a student editor to help prepare the next issue that will be out in May 2016. The key tasks of the student Editor will be to liaise with SML students, in particular those who are currently on their Year Abroad, but also with current Stage 4 students, in order to select contributors and organise the production of articles and accompanying pictures. Liaise with SML members of staff for proof-reading and with NU printing service for printing. Produce and edit the fifth edition of the magazine, under the supervision of the main Editor and ensure that the edition is ready to be out towards the end of May 2016.

Person requirements: The candidate should have

Image: Louise Hall

working knowledge of at least one of the following languages: (Spanish / French / German / Japanese / Chinese). Ideally the candidate should be a SML student who has spent a Year Abroad as part of his/ her studies and who already knows some of the SML members of staff and students. The candidate must demonstrate good communication and organisational skills and his/her ability to work effectively both independently and as part of a team. Previous experience in editing would definitely be an advantage as well as knowledge of how to use Adobe InDesign.

Location: Newcastle University Campus Job description: Magazine Distributor for well-known Music Magazine Employer: JYL Hand to Hand Closing date: 31/03/2016 Salary: £7.50ph plus accumulated holiday pay Basic job description: Become part of our team distributing a well-known Music Magazine at Universities and Train stations across the UK. The working hours will be Fridays - Universities (TBC) and Fridays -Train stations 7-10am (approx.)

Stand out staff on this campaign will also be put forward to represent the magazine as Brand Ambassadors at local gigs and music events. If you’re passionate about Music, let us know!

Person Requirements: You must be proactive, enthusiastic and reliable as well as being able to work mornings on Fridays. Interest and passion for music is an additional benefit but not necessary. Fluency in written and spoken English is a must.

Location: Newcastle and surrounding areas of NCL. Job description: Newcastle Work Experience – Content Marketing Assistant Employer: Newcastle University Closing date: 06/12/2015 Salary: £700 Bursary Basic job description: Brain Feed is a lifestyle and well-being brand that provides natural isolated nutrients and traditional herbal remedies with credible health benefits grounded in strong scientific data.

We make the science simple and provide you with products and advice to perform better and feel great.

We have a lot of digital content and we’re seeking a placement student to re-write some of our articles to better reflect our brand. The successful candidate will also manage the complete end-to-end content marketing function. This role is business critical. You’ll learn how to create digestible and shareable content that is timely and relevant. You’ll learn how content marketing relates to search engine marketing (SEM) and social media marketing strategy. You’ll also have complete ownership of on-site and off-site content management and we’ll be able to attribute all of your activity to individual sales.

Person Requirements: Strong interest in a career in marketing is desired. Excellent written English is essential.You must present great accuracy in your work and be willing to learn. This placement would particularly suit Marketing, English, Media or Journalism students Location: Newcastle University Campus and some home working.

The controversy surrounding the University of York’s decision to cancel its event to mark International Men’s Day on 16 November has continued.

One student has proposed the creation of a “Men’s Officer” position at the Students’ Union, to represent male voices in the union and to identify issues that affect male students. Meanwhile the University stepped in to cancel a visit by Milo Yiannopoulos, an journalist known for his anti-feminist views.

Yiannopoulos was invited by York’s UKIP society to hold a talk entitled, ‘Militant feminism is driving the sexes apart’. Over 400 students took to Facebook to protest against the event, causing the University to use a clause in their events policy to ban his visit. The controversy comes just weeks after the University cancelled its International Men’s Day commemorations following protests by students, who believed it would diminish the University’s commitment to equality.

Foodbank fights poverty East Anglia

In a bid to fight poverty amongst students at the University of East Anglia, the Students’ Union has opened a foodbank. A recent report discovered that nearly one in four students have cut back on textbooks so that they can afford to buy food, with many students raising concerns that they are unable to eat healthily because of their low food budgets. Officers at the Students’ Union have blamed rising living costs, rising accommodation prices and the cutting of maintenance grants as factors that have contributed to an increase in student poverty. UEA students will now be able to visit a welfare adviser or the Dean of Students, who will give them vouchers to spend on a food parcel. The foodbank will use donations from other students and staff, and will be run in partnership with other foodbanks in Norwich.

Hopkins sparks protest Brunel

Katie Hopkins was actively ignored by students of Brunel University during a talk she was invited to attend. As soon as the outspoken journalist started to speak around 50 students stood up and turned their backs on her before walking out of the lecture theatre. The protest, which was organised by the Students’ Union, aimed to demonstrate the students’ disapproval of their university inviting Hopkins to speak as part of its 50th anniversary celebrations. The walkout was deliberately designed to allow Hopkins to continue speaking, because the protesters did not want to be accused of “noplatforming” her.

Hopkins was invited to join a panel for a debate, “Does the welfare state have a place in 2015?”, which formed part of Brunel University’s celebrations of its 50th anniversary. While several students had complained before the event at her inclusion, the University decided to keep her on the panel, prompting the walkout during the event itself.

Mark Sleightholm

The Courier

.11

Monday 30 November 2015

Comment thecourieronline.co.uk/comment

Comment Editors: Dan Robertson, Jack Dempsey & Adam Thompson courier.comment@ncl.ac.uk | @Courier_Comment

Do we still need ‘safe spaces’?

Safe spaces have become a hot topic since recent viral video showed Yale student calling her professor “disgusting”. Four writers discuss their interpretation of the ‘safe space’ and how legitimate they are

Max George

T

here is a difference between protecting minorities and abridging free speech. No minority group — indeed, no one at all — should have to endure physical abuse or discriminatory treatment. We cannot, though, ban offence. Plenty of things offend us all of the time.

That does not give us the right to silence whoever has offended us. The controversy surrounding ‘safe spaces’ at universities goes to the heart of this maxim.

“Plenty of things offend us.

That does not give us the right to silence whoever did the offending”

Every day, there seems to be a new example of student groups seeking to ban speakers or events that may ‘cause offence’. One that caught the eye was from Oxford University, where two colleges are under pressure to cancel a ‘Great Gatsby themed’ ball in case they upset women and ethnic minorities, by reminding them of less equal times. On this basis ought we to outlaw the teaching of history, lest it provoke upset at eras when life was awful for pretty much everyone save kings and queens?

Student groups that seek to ‘no platform’ polemical speakers or cancel politically incorrect events attract more ridicule than sympathy. It is no wonder the wider public do not take students seriously.

When student protestors are heckling and intimidating professors who refuse to ban potentially offensive Halloween costumes, genuine and sincere allegations of institutionalised racism receive less

attention than they deserve.

Universities are supposed to be centres of intellectual challenge, which means responding to, not proscribing, points of view that we disagree with.

If anything, universities should be safe spaces for free speech. Whether controversial, trivial, or even offensive, speech must be protected because, ultimately, who decides which speech to permit and which to prohibit? There can be no impartial arbiter of acceptability: the risks of governments or universities curtailing free speech are far greater than the risks of permitting unpalatable speech.

Some might not like to hear this, but we need to accept that there are plenty of things in the world that will upset us. The big wide world is a tough old place and the truth is that no space can be wholly ‘safe’. How one deals with this is a sign of one’s strength. It is better to let the bigot embarrass himself than to silence him. We cannot prostitute our liberties for the sake of our internal harmony.

If we do, we should await with fear the day when someone decides our own views are to be gagged.

Bethany Crenol

S

ome people argue that ‘safe spaces’ only act as echo chambers and are therefore useless to discussion, particularly those that live in a liberal, westernised environment. This is because we are taught that freedom of expression is an inalienable right, that we should constantly question everything, and that open debate is of paramount importance. However, in the context of safe spaces, this way of thinking is very problematic.

If you argue against safe spaces because you feel your freedom of expression is at risk, consider this: you have the entire world to express yourself freely, and the Internet as an unmoderated forum for all of your views. Respecting one tiny space that you aren’t allowed to enter isn’t really going to result in a silencing of your opinion. Remember that these spaces are set up to amplify the voices of people who are generally silenced in the wider world, not to silence yours.

Robin Richards

By creating safe spaces, you advocate a victim culture for the very people who should feel free about who they really are”

Instead we’ve been gifted with the rise of our very own moral arbiters intent on masquerading fascism as freedom and denial as reasoned criticism. Yet without these people, what would we do?

How would we possibly know what is a racist or misogynistic view without referring to the list of banned opinions? Call me a deluded, naïve libertarian but I tend towards thinking that collective

“Respecting one tiny space isn’t going to result in the silencing of your opinion”

When privileged people enter safe spaces simply because they ‘enjoy the debate’, this becomes a problem for those who the space is for. For the oppressed it is a place for healing, while for the privileged it is an intellectual pursuit.

Though safe spaces may seem exclusionary to some, they actually ensure that a diversity of perspectives are in discussion. These spaces, be they exclusively for women, people of colour or any minority group, allow the oppressed to connect and share their experiences. This means that certain voices, often underrepresented or marginalised, get a chance to speak without fear of hostility or abuse. In non-safe spaces, privileged voices are more likely to dominate the discussion.

Finally, we all live in a giant echo chamber anyway — it’s called the kyriarchy. For the oppressed, the endless echo here is ‘we are not human’. Those of you that disagree with the necessity of safe spaces need to bear this in mind, and ask yourself, what’s actually wrong with an echo chamber if all that is being echoed is that you are human, that you are valued, and that you are worthy of respect?

Ava Forbes

W

e near the end of a year that started with the brutal murders of journalists at the hands of those unwilling to accept the most fundamental aspect of Western values: freedom of speech. Yet, this is the same year that has seen social crusaders in the West invent a new human right: the right not to be offended.

If this means imposing restrictions on people’s freedom of speech and, ergo, their thoughts, so what? So what if this new right destroys the ability to reason and educate those who suffer from stunningly ill-informed prejudices? These sterile, patronising,“safe spaces” that have cropped up across the country’s students’ unions – the haven of pint-sized Russell Brands – fail to allow any sort of societal progress to a better, more understanding future.

Another point to consider is that not all ideas are worth debating, and that sometimes healing is more important. Often people say that debate is of absolute importance to progress, and I agree that it can encourage people to be more thoughtful and open-minded. However, focusing on oppressed groups is important too. Creating spaces for people to heal and support each other is equally necessary for progression.

shire, to a big city has been both exciting and terrifying for me. Also, as lovely as my flat is, it is a huge shift from what I have been accustomed to.

For me, I could immerse myself in as many societies as possible, go out as often as I wanted to and befriend everyone under the sun, but at my lowest points I could still feel incredibly isolated.

human reasoning, discussion and criticism will give anyone observing a far greater understanding of what is right and wrong. This learning process is not one that can morally be made for them by splitting the world into a dichotomy of right and wrong, unquestionably acceptable and undoubtedly unsayable.

For people that have deeply insulting opinions by all means judge them for it, criticise them as vehemently as you wish; but don’t, by any deluded logic, think ignoring them will force them to get bored of their own opinions. By creating safe spaces, you advocate a victim culture for the very people who should be open and feel free about whoever they really are. Censorship and banning is not the cure for a society beset by prejudices, the whole world claimed they knew this in the aftermath of the Hebdo attack, yet ever so quickly they seem to have forgotten it.

I

have a very clear idea in my head of where my ideal safe space is. As a first year, adjusting to my new life away from home, there has been many a night where I have pined for my real bed.

Being hundreds of miles away from those who understand you and will not judge you is a big adjustment. Coming from such an environment to one where I hardly know a soul it is hard for me, as I imagine it is for many first year students, to feel truly ‘safe’.

“So many people make it their aim to make students as comfortable and as secure as possible”

The change in environment, as beautiful as Newcastle may be, can also be overwhelming at times.

Coming from a rural market town in Leicester-

“Creating a safe space for myself in my first term at Newcastle has been one of my biggest challenges since beginning University”

I have found that whose company I am in determines whether I feel safe or not. Unfortunately though, the right people cannot always be close by.

Despite this, I am finding more and more people at uni whom I am confident enough around to make me able to able distance myself from those attachments at home that I have been reliant on my entire life.

Creating a safe space for myself in my first term at Newcastle has been one of my biggest challenges since beginning University. I have learned that you can make an environment comfortable and your own by embracing it. Although there are nights where I do miss the safety of home (and I cannot wait to go back for Christmas), I am thankful that I have been welcomed by so many since coming to Newcastle and that so many people within the university make it their aim to make students as comfortable and as secure as possible.

12.comment

Monday 30 November 2015

The Courier

Famous fems taken off A level courses

Changes to Politics A levels will result in the study of just one influential female thinker

N THUG LIFE The rapper ‘Young Thug’ confuses me. No, not his personality or his music or anything (of which I know extremely little about), but his name. ‘Young Thug’. It’s just so… ambiguous.

For instance, how young must one be to be considered a ‘young thug’; do you eventually age to become a not-so-young thug? A middle aged thug? If his career continues into old age (which I sincerely doubt), will he still be known as Young Thug? Is he just a young thug or the young thug, i.e. are other thugs who are similarly young also considered young thugs, or does Young Thug hold sole claim to the title? What if he has a child, do they inherit the title of Young Thug? Or would they simply be Young-er Thug? Is it a generational thing, where Young Thug will eventually become Thug the Elder? Does the Thug lineage stretch back centuries? Is Young Thug simply the youngest in a grand tradition of shit rappers?

Some questions can never truly be answered...

Charlie Isaac

Megan Holtom

ews that the government are planning to greatly reduce the number of feminist thinkers on A-level Politics courses has been angering sexual equality campaigners left, right and centre recently. I’m similarly appalled by this plan from the Department of Education.

Don’t they understand the importance of feminism to our history? In my opinion, feminist activists from the Suffragettes onwards have shaped history and made our society what it is today. The fact that they want to deprive our young people of an insight into their sacrifices, while allowing influential thinkers to go unsung as they remove them from the education agenda infuriates me.

The plans to axe the topic from the syllabus will mean only one female theorist (compared to six male theorists) will be studied, and that is the eponymous Mary Wollstonecraft, who, to me, is the mother of feminism. But what about the rest of them, the ones who will lose their voices thanks to the governments plans? Not only are the voices of female thinkers being lost, but the topic of gender and equality as a whole is being axed. I think this is only giving students half of the picture,

as there are just as many women as men in the world, and women should enjoy an equal level of representation.

Although the plan will mostly affect A-Level students, the knock on effects for prospective undergraduates should also be considered, as well as implications for university campus culture.

The politics syllabuses at undergraduate level do contain a lot of sex, gender and feminist thinkers, as universities have much more teaching hours to fill than colleges. However, I think the axing of feminism from the A-Level syllabus will mean that students will be showing up with no idea about the importance of feminism in politics, and will have to be quickly brought up to undergraduate level. How can students be expected to come to university having never been taught about Simone De Beauvoir?

The idea of feminism as an ideology has been controversial since it came about in the 19th century. It seems to be a bit of a marmite idea from some people criticising and mocking feminists, to radical feminists willing to do just about anything to draw attention to their campaigns for equal rights. However, no matter how it is perceived, I argue that feminism has been, and always will be a crucial part of our history.

It appears that women are suffering more and more at the moment as our UK government

is pulling stunts that are angering women everywhere. One of the most recent, and probably most shocking, is Osborne’s plan to pay for women’s charities, such as domestic violence and sexual assault charities, with the money raised from the tampon tax. I don’t know whether Osborne is so naive that he thinks he is actually doing something beneficial to women, or if he is actively trying to deter women from supporting his party.

as emerging from the Tax Credits debacle without the rage of three million working families raining down on him, he also gives off the impression of being an actual wizard. Some papers have even run headlines declaring an end to austerity, as major cuts have been avoided while investment in rail and infrastructure will increase due to the boon of tax receipts.

- since so many of the over-65s vote Tory. There seems to be no appetite to spread the burden of cuts across the whole of the welfare system, or over a period of years. Instead Osborne will look for a single solution to his problems now the party has committed to running a budget surplus of £10bn by the arbitrary date of 2020. Well, arbitrary until you remember that’s when the next election will fall. It isn’t much of a stretch to imagine the chancellor’s plan will be to mug off a social group who won’t vote for him anyway as much as possible, as opposed to putting safe votes at risk by spreading the burden.

It seems the Chancellor is invulnerable for now, since the Tax Credits bullets bounced off him, and those on Universal Credit lack the same level of public backing to fight him off. His problems lie further down the road. The £27bn he found on his walk out of Whitehall will soon evaporate, and then, presumably, he’ll have to face up to his consistent failure to wring meaningful growth from the UK economy. When his luck runs out, and the welfare state is reduced to his taste, he’ll still have to scrabble around for more cuts since he is so keen on avoiding spending. What then? The unemployed and working poor can only be squeezed so much before he is forced to become more creative. Or at least check the pockets of his jacket for another £27bn.

“Not only are the voices of female thinkers being lost, but the topic of gender and equality as a whole is being axed” Obviously oppression of women has reduced dramatically in the last couple of hundred years.

However, the news of axing feminism from A-Level syllabuses, and Osborne’s plans to make women pay for support after assaults with their periods, makes me think we’re going in the wrong direction. I’ve signed the petition (which now has over 40,000 signatures) to not axe feminism from the politics syllabus, and to cut tampon tax, and I urge others to do the same.

The Wonderful Wizard of Osborne George Osborne somehow escaped tax credits U-turn intact, but luck can’t last forever

WE KNOW BEST Our current ruling cabal, Cameron and the Tories, are very fond of acting tough - whether it’s on the most destitute in society, or the slightly less destitute. People hopelessly caught in a net of poverty, homelessness, drug addiction, crime, prison, repeat; both fair game and easy prey to be labelled selfish and a drain on society. Immigrants, who are only called such if they happen to be either non-white, poor, or both, should be watched closely, they say, lest they steal our jobs, or steal benefits, or try to merely survive and support their families.

“Take away their benefits, they’re scroungers”.

It’s so easy to say when you’re a born millionaire, alive and dead without ever knowing pain and hardship, your life paved ahead of you in gold – all the way to Westminster. Middle England nods along, because it reads the Mail, the Sun, and watches Sky; they’ll never meet Rupert Murdoch, don’t know who he is, but they think exactly what he thinks. It’s okay, doesn’t matter, our humanity is long gone and there’s a mortgage to pay.

Jamie Cameron

TV PRESENTERS Lorraine Kelly irritates me. I never knew why this was at first, but one morning it became all too clear. In fact, the entire ITV line-up of useless presenters being employed to do absolutely nothing is pretty irritating.

You will have seen these presenters because they’re used in just about every show: the Holly Willoughby’s, Eamon Holmes’ and the Stephen Mulhern’s of this world that seem to be omnipresent, while never quite seeming to do anything in particular, always at the party but never having an actual skill apart from some light chit-chat.

You need to have presenters on TV just like you need a waiter in a restaurant, but this is where Ant & Dec set the precedent. They’re genuinely pretty funny and their personality is decent for a laid back few months presenting I’m A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here. They’re relatively interesting too. I now just wish ITV would have a putsch and everybody with the two Geordies who used to be on Byker Grove, Ant & Dec, just in time for Christmas.

Scott Houghton

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Adam Thompson

t is fair to say George Osborne lives a charmed life. There are few politicians who could come up with a cut to public spending so toxic the House of Lords sends it packing, while pirouetting from the ordeal relatively unscathed. What’s more, aside from escaping political obliteration, recent events have fallen in such a way that the Chancellor’s future might look even rosier than expected.

Take the Paris attacks. It would be unfair to suggest Mr Osborne was rubbing his hands with glee as events unfolded across the channel, but they did ensure public scrutiny was less concentrated on him when he was most in need of breathing space. At the same time, proposed plans to attack ISIS in Syria have allowed his Tax Credits U-turn to quietly slip down the pecking order in the eyes of many news organisations. The same goes for the daily squabbles within Labour.

Even more extraordinary is the stroke of good fortune he’s had with tax receipts. The government has somehow groped around the settee and found £27bn in loose change. Armed with this knowledge, he will be able to boost spending and investment – after years of resistance in the face of pretty much every world economic body – without further denting welfare. This means that, as well

“Next time the Chancellor checks his sofa, there won’t be free money to bail him out of facing up to unpopular decisions” Except the cuts have not been avoided. They have merely been forestalled. Next time the Chancellor checks his sofa, there won’t be free money to bail him out of facing up to unpopular decisions.

It is clear the present government are wedded to the idea of a ‘high wage, lower welfare’ economy, and while most voters agree with them on principle, they have so far failed to implement their plans fairly – certainly not effectively. Osborne will soon seek out Universal Credit as another resource to chop away at, no doubt avoiding pensions altogether - comfortably our greatest welfare expense

The Courier

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Monday 30 November 2015

Climate changing political landscape in Syria There are a number of things to blame for Syria, but one important factor remains unexamined

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Tim Lewthwaite

uring a recent US Democratic presidential debate, left-leaning candidate Bernie Sanders was questioned on whether, in light of the Paris terrorist attacks, climate change could still be viewed as a significant threat to US national security. He concisely claimed that the conflict in Syria, and global terrorism, are strongly linked to the consequences of climate change, and therefore pose security issues the world over.

Here in Europe, where I see climate change taken as a more serious public issue, and where the consequences of the Syrian conflict are much more apparent, how are we to view Bernie Sanders’ brief warning? Can a civil war in an already contentious region plagued by Western bombs and ongoing cultural unease be linked to the ramifications of climate change?

There are others in agreement with Sanders. According to the Centre for Climate and Security, military leaders and the Pentagon strongly insist that climate change, through conflicts over depleting resources and subsequent displacement of and competition between communities will exacerbate threats not only to US national security, but more pressingly, to the troubles already aggravating Europe and the Middle East. Syria is a prime example

of the challenges brought about by climate change.

A study led by Colin Kelley at the University of California Santa Barbara (later published by the National Academy of Sciences of the USA) provided an in-depth study of Syrian droughts and their bloody consequences. The report unequivocally asserts that the ravages of global warming and subsequent desertification of Syria greatly aggravated the tensions already present throughout the Arab republic, culminating in the outbreak of civil war.

“800,000 farmers lost their livelihoods. This was the catalyst for the conflict” The report sombrely stated: “There is evidence that the 2007−2010 drought contributed to the conflict in Syria. It was the worst drought in the instrumental record, causing widespread crop failure and a mass migration of farming families to urban centres.”

Another scientific study, by the Arab Centre for Studies of Arid Zones and Dry Lands (ACSAD), reported that between 2006-2009, 46 percent of wheat and 67 percent of barley crops failed, northeastern farmers lost 80 percent of their livestock and overall, 800,000 farmers lost their livelihoods.

This was the catalyst for conflict. These vexing circumstances led to 1.5 million people being displaced; many of them, as Colin Kelley’s report states, went to the already overwhelmed cities.

Amongst the tears for lost friends on the streets of Paris and around the world, attention in the French capital turns to this week’s climate change conference, and what environmental factors might echo in the acts of barbarity across the globe. Our own Ed Miliband has said the Paris conference has the potential to “save the world”. But, I ask, how much of this fragile world of ours is already splintered by the permanent damage? It would be clumsy for me to say that the atrocity committed against the civilians of Paris was directly because of global warming and crop failures. Clumsier still to say that the ignorance of our own oil baron government, with its decimation of our sustainable energy subsidies, is directly robbing the Middle East of stability. Alas, the evidence is undeniable. Even if the harm is indirect, the wounds are still being felt. It’s also true that the hasty military actions of our own government (to put it diplomatically), rather than the impact of climate change, is more directly responsible for these fractured bands of madmen calling themselves the ‘Islamic State’. But the children of that broken country, now pleading for sanctuary at the gates of Europe, are not just the children of unrest between peoples, but unrest in the very ecology of our planet.

Say a little prayer for banned Christian ad Censorship strikes again but this time it’s the Anglican Church which is suffering better, more accepting society. Yet we have also their customer’s ability to decipher what they see Robin Richards far turned into a state of people that are apparently so and formulate opinions. To respect anyone’s right

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he Lord’s Prayer has become the latest victim of cinema censorship in the United Kingdom, joining the illustrious ranks of the Human Centipede 2 and The Texas Vibrator Massacre. Quite how Digital Cinema Media viewed something that had been classified as less offensive than Despicable Me by the British Board of Film Classification as so potent it had to be unceremoniously hoisted off our screens is laughable.

Yet DCM has taken it upon itself to filter our preStar Wars viewing in order that the sight of myriad people reciting the Lord’s Prayer need not offend us. Their actual reasoning was that those 60 seconds could offend someone, somewhere, in God knows what way.

I cannot be the only person viewing this debacle that marvels at large companies’ general ability to patronise. If you are so feeble minded that watching a short clip of people praying offends you then I dare say you deserve to be offended. Infantilising your audience has undoubtedly caused more offence than any moderate religious advert ever could. It’s a denial that the people watching have the ability to make up their own minds and yet further intrusion by corporations that take upon themselves the role of thought police. Perhaps they think that without the grotesque challenge of having to wait through less than a minute of people wishing good will on others we might successfully slip into a dull, insipid utopia devoid of any challenge or necessity to formulate opinions. This seems to creep up amazingly often from those so embarrassed by the idea that people can have their own opinions, and God forbid, that these opinions or beliefs differ from someone else’s. To ban such an innocuous piece of film on these ground is nothing less than moral cowardice.

“To ban such an innocuous film on these grounds is nothing short of moral cowardice”

I’m not religious but I at least have enough respect for the culture that laid the foundations for our nation to understand that Christmas has its roots fairly deep in Christianity. So whilst I’m sure DCM will be merrily exploiting the consumerist tendencies we all exhibit at this time of year with clip after clip of trash, it stinks of hypocrisy that this company is willing to ban the mention of Christianity. I’ll happily admit that we now live in a

embarrassed that we have a shared culture that we dread the idea of promoting anything endorsed by your nation’s history - the idea that at the end of December the majority of people in the country celebrate what fundamentally remains a religious festival is the perfect example.

We are culturally an Anglican country, the Queen is the Head of the Church of England. DCM need to embrace these facts but more importantly, especially in terms of equality, they need to respect

to debate and defend their beliefs. This is not a decision that any enlightened person needs made on their behalf. All adverts, be they Islamic, Christian, Judaic or even ‘Consumerist’ should be allowed as long as the company that plays them is satisfied that they will serve a purpose for the audience. If one is exceedingly unpopular then I’m sure public opinion and reason will force it off. This is the way an open, liberal society works. It does not require an Emperor Palpatine to dictate our taste for us.

BREAKING NEWS: MAO TO SUE LABOUR OVER LIBEL

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he infamous Chairman Mao made waves across social media yesterday after revealing plans to sue the Labour Party. The threat was first given over Twitter and is thought to be a response to leading shadow cabinet ministers misappropriating items belonging to Mao. The communist dictator, generally thought to be dead up until this point, stunned the world with his tweet: “To all ppl thinkin they can jock my style, ur all gettin sued. Watch this space.” He has since released an official statement citing Labour Party as the main target of his intended lawsuit.

The allegations seem to have been triggered by shadow chancellor John McDonnell, who brought Mao’s Little Red Book into the House of Commons the other day. He read a short passage from it aloud before tossing it to chancellor George Osbourne, who suggested that it was McDonnell’s ‘personally signed copy’.

In an emotional interview with Channel 4’s Jon Snow, Mao denied the claim.

“I only sign in blood,” he said, stating that he would never sign for one whose surname is so suspiciously close to a capitalist fast-food “pig regime”.

“Throwing a book around that someone worked really hard on is just rude. But publicly mocking it… that’s unforgivable.”

“If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all,” added the tearful dictator.

“‘If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all,’ added the tearful dictator” The incident with Mao’s Little Red Book is not the first time that the Labour Party have been seen using Mao’s belongings in an attempt to make themselves appear more ‘communisty’. In the run up to the Labour leadership election, current leader Jeremy Corbyn was seen on what the Telegraph captioned a “Chairman Mao-style bicycle.”

It had since been confirmed that the bicycle was actually styled after Mao, who has publicly requested that Corbyn give it back.

“It does not belong to you, Jeremy. It has been styled after me and is therefore mine.”

“People think that when you’re a retired communist revolutionary you simply hang up your cycling shorts for good. Well that’s just not the case with me.”

Some critics have been lead to conjecture that the bicycle is the actual version that Mao once rode and that it many carry a piece of his soul like the horcruxes from Harry Potter.

“I think the chance that the Labour Party now own a series of horcruxes containing Mao’s fragmented soul is in fact very likely,” said one analyst from the Mail Online.

“I mean think about it, until yesterday Mao was almost definitely dead. Now he’s showing up all over the place: Twitter, Channel 4, you name it.”

“That we saw McDonnell trying to throw the book at Osborne reveals that Labour intend to use its dark magic to their political advantage.”

The Independent however have already ran a counterstory giving an alternate reason for McDonnell throwing the book, claiming that by throwing it to Osborne, much like Ginny Weasley in the Chamber of Secrets, McDonnell was trying to rid himself of it.

“Everyone knows that the book’s dark communist principles would have no effect on Osborne’s austerity.”

Both parties are yet to give comment on the matter, but the possibility that Mao has already possessed the physical bodies of many MPs is highly likely.

Reported by Jack Dempsey

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Monday 30 November 2015

The Courier

What do you PERSPECTIVE the STUDENT

Since public opinion is so divided over Corbyn,

Jake Harrison

I

didn’t vote for Jeremy Corbyn, and like a lot of the Labour party, I still have my doubts. While I admire him for sticking by his convictions, many of which are unpopular only because the right-wing media consensus in this country says they should be, his unwillingness to accept that he might need to appeal to anyone outside of his own little bubble can be quite infuriating. I can therefore see why there have been murmurs about the need for a coup, even if I don’t entirely agree with them.

Corbyn won the leadership by a huge majority and needs to be given time — that’s how democracy works. Why do we consider someone saying that maybe the Police shouldn’t just be able to shoot anyone they suspect of being a terrorist as being less-than-ideal? Obviously Corbyn wasn’t saying that if an armed officer was faced with a terrorist threatening multiple innocent people that he shouldn’t be able to shoot him to protect the civilians but surely no-one ac-

Frankie Toynton

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ho doesn’t love an underdog? Since his victory in September 2015, Corbyn has won admirers with his PMQs’ headteacher persona and dishevelled

“Corbyn represents progress, which the entirety of the left should support for as long as it lasts”

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Robin Richards

t would take a special type of delusion not to admire the newly elected Leader of the Opposition. No matter how idealistic and impractical you view some of his policies as you simply have to respect the sheer principles of a man who has rare attribute of actually being in politics for what he views as his moral duty. This is a man

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Matt Corden

orbyn’s Nixonian hatred of the press has meant that journalists have been harangued with accusations of “tabloid journalism” or “smearing” for the crime of asking some straightforward questions. This isn’t to say that the conservative press doesn’t have the upper hand, or that they’re immune from being unfair, but as Orwell once said: some things are true, even if the Daily Telegraph says so.

Aggressive refusal to face scrutiny by dismissing it as a sinister conspiracy is a rerun in reverse of Farage’s self-pitying rants about the liberal establishment or the Left-leaning BBC. For Corbyn’s followers, their own vision of a conspiratorial establishment is “terrified” of his popularity among the silent majority. He will destroy these enemies within in a Thatcher-esque manner.

tually thinks that the Police should just be able to shoot anyone they suspect of being dangerous? If they do, have they been living in a cave for the past few years and missed all the shootings of innocent people by Police in America?

His statement may not have been made at the wisest of times or worded in the best way but when a leader does place too much emphasis on his media image he gets lambasted then too so you can’t really win.

Equally, he came in for a lot of criticism for saying he wouldn’t be willing to press the big red button and order a nuclear strike but do you really want a leader who can unthinkingly condemn millions of people to death?

I do think that if in three years’ time Corbyn is still largely unpopular and

possibly incapable of winning the next election then maybe we would need to have another look at which leader we want to take us into 2020 but I don’t say this for the sake of the Labour party, I say this for the sake of the country. It is entirely plausible that as austerity bites harder he’ll win over more and more votes. In all the furore about how unelectable Jeremy Corbyn is, people seem to have lost sight of the bigger picture, which is that if you’re really concerned about the state of the country you should be scrutinising Cameron and Osborne. They’re the ones who’ve cut 40,000 policemen and counting. Surely that’s a danger to national security?

Does the increase in child poverty, the deaths of people who’ve had their disability benefit taken away, the massive increase in foodbanks, the staggering increase to the national debt or the mistreatment of the NHS not constitute a national emergency? Corbyn wouldn’t do any of those things, so maybe we should stop blindly criticising and listen to what he has to say. After all, at least he’s never put his genitals in a dead pig’s mouth.

tweed jackets. More importantly, he has won the concrete political support of a small army of labourers, whitecollars and especially students, who see the inherent problems with Tory austerity. In itself, this is not enough to win an election, let alone build a socialist society — but it’s a start.

Through Corbyn, the Labour Party have rediscovered the socialist principles of their core vote. The sincerity of his beliefs and his composure amidst a media frenzy may or may not win him friends in the upper-middle class, but that’s beside the point. If he can continue to energize the working masses, and win back some of the party’s credibility

in Scotland, Corbyn will win the next election. Assuming, of course, that the Blairites take their daggers from his back.

We must remember that all reformists have their limits. Corbyn’s programme as it stands will not put right Britain’s obscene amount of debt, nor will it take power away from the fabled 1% and place it into the hands of the workforce. No reforms, no matter how progressive, could save us from the anarchy of the capitalist market.

Nonetheless, Corbyn represents progress, which the entirety of the left should support for as long as it lasts.

Our march towards socialism has begun with a Corbyn-shaped baby step.

who is so led by his conscience that he rebelled over 500 times against his own party. He could easily have hopped on the bandwagon of cheer at the death of ‘Jihadi John’, but he didn’t. Instead he left himself open for attack from the media by stating his preference that they should have tried him in court.

Whether or not this is “good politics” is another matter, as is the question of whether taking such rigid non-populist stances will send the country further to

the right. For now we must admire Corbyn for proving that not all career politicians are in Parliament for the prefix.

Nick Cohen’s prescient book What’s Left? looks into the creeping Stalinization of large sections of the Left that have managed to become soft on despotism and religious fundamentalism at the same time. Corbyn’s clerical fascist “friends” at Hamas, theocracy in Iran, military dictatorship in Cuba and pseudo-democracy in Venezuela have all appeared on his list of fawnery.

socialists of old used to describe this tendency as the “anti-imperialism of fools.” Meanwhile anybody who points this out to his fans are dismissed as Tories or part of a mobilized neoliberal-neoconservative-New Labour plot.

Corbyn doesn’t adopt a materialist conception of history where the forces and relations of production evolve naturally with time; instead he expresses a reactionary nostalgia for the post-war consensus and the nationalising of coal, steel and ship building industries. Anthony Crosland warned against this tendency in The Future of Socialism, recognizing the absurdity of politics based on a social order that has since passed.

The Bennite wing of the party consistently fail because they get overexcited by the cheering voices in the packed out meeting, yet they forget the millions of others outside. This narcissism has almost certainly conscripted the country to at least a decade longer of Conservative rule.

“Maybe we should stop blindly criticising and listen to what he has to say”

“He expresses a reactionary post-war consensus and the nationalising of industries” This moral relativism is willing to defend almost anything so long as they’re at odds with the American empire;

“The question of whether such rigid non-populist stances will send the country further to the right”

The Courier

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Monday 30 November 2015

think of Jeremy Corbyn? we decided to throw our students’ hats into the ring about Labour’s new ‘man of the left’

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t would be easy for us to rattle off the seemingly unending sequence of bumbling incompetence, distasteful associations and electorally suicidal statements emanating from the new Labour leadership.

“Jeremy Corbyn has fundamentally misdiagnosed the world’s problems”

We can do better than that, though.

We won’t seek to sloganize like the tabloid press. The ‘new, kinder’ politics has even permeated us Tories. Jeremy Corbyn has fundamentally misdiagnosed the world’s problems. He sees their cause as either a lack of government or, in foreign policy, too much government. Thus he is simply rehashing old arguments from the 1980s. Whether it’s his views on industrial nationalisation, or opposition to shoot-to-kill policies, they don’t stem from careful analyses of contemporary issues: they stem from an outmoded understanding of the world.

The post-war consensus of big govern-

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hen Jeremy Corbyn first became leader of the Labour Party, optimists prayed that he’d tone it all down. Many pictured a new kind of politician, humble and authentic, a leader who would shift his views to the centre.

By doing this, the mania of Corbynmania would be scaled-up from the fraction of the electorate who voted for

him, to the national playing field. His alternate vision for politics a vote-winner.

Jez had other plans however, he stuck to his guns.

What’s crucial to understand is that Jeremy Corbyn’s politics are not new at all. In fact, they haven’t shifted since the late 1970s. He is an old school socialist and pacifist who struggles to adapt his ideals to the present. When asked about employing a ‘shoot-to-kill’ policy on UK streets he didn’t put it in the relevant context of a Paris-style massacre, instead he thought of it in relation to the IRA and the shooting of three unarmed men in Gibraltar. The reason why his ideas seem new is because no serious politicians have embodied them in so long. Politics can be Darwinian and bad ideas get left behind.

eremy Corbyn has been a breath of fresh air in my opinion and is one of the most personable, compassionate and honest politicians to come to the fore front in recent years.

Part of it is that he is a pure rebel; defying the standard image of the average politician, with his unkempt suit jacket and scruffy beard. The other part is his defiance of the incredibly stuffy traditions of UK politics. The first femaledominated shadow cabinet as well as a change to PMQ’s where a member of the public’s voice is heard are both fantastic ideas, as it feels like he is opening up politics to wider society.

Furthermore, I greatly admire his tenacity and determination in trying to bring Labour back to the left because in my opinion the majority of Blairites and Conservatives had all started to

aggregate into one homogenous blob on the political spectrum. By providing an alternative to austerity, JC has struck a chord with me and given me optimism that at least one politician actually understands what is happening in the real world and most importantly, a way to change it. As a final point in JC’s defence, his focus on political reconciliation in Syria through UN resolution rather than extend bombing there shows us that he is a man of integrity by sticking to his pacifist ideals rather than simply complying with the majority view.

So even if you do not agree with Jeremy Corbyn’s views, please ignore the right-wing media machine as they turn every mundane action into a flaw. He didn’t bow low enough? Seriously that is ridiculous. Instead appreciate Corbyn

ts rare to have a party leader truly interested in improving the lives of others. Corbyn could boast that he actually wants to end poverty, failed foreign policy, and the possibility of nuclear armageddon; only he’s too much of a decent human being to see this worth congratulating.

Yet that is precisely Jeremy’s problem – his purity of character. In a political climate dominated by rich party donors, an unscrupulous media, and a selfish scaremongering right wing, there is no room for someone unwilling to act tactically by throwing their honest con-

victions down the drain. With the aid of a right-wing press, the Conservatives are successfully re-branding marginalisation of the poor and middle class as the new centre-ground.

“An old school socialist and pacifist who struggles to adapt his ideals to the present”

J

I Illustration: Dan Robertson

ment and nationalised industry simply isn’t plausible in this modern age of technology and consumerism. The terrorists of the 1980s – the IRA, for example – are wholly different beasts to the terrorists of today.

British people are innately conservative (small ‘c’) in that they are wary of sudden or radical change. And that is precisely what conservatism is about: progressive ends through conservative means. Whatever their grumblings, the majority of British people do not see the solution to the world’s challenges as a radical overhaul of the entire system.

Corbyn does. He instinctively views ‘business’ as a problem and the ‘West’ as the cause of all international malaises.

The facts that capitalism and free trade have lifted hundreds of millions out of poverty and that Western foreign policy was pivotal in combatting Ebola and freeing Afghans of intolerant, violent, repressive rule (to name just a few successes) don’t fit into this world view.

It is this which makes Mr Corbyn unfit to be in government. His ‘friendship’ with Hezbollah and his embarrassing associations with hate preachers are merely symptoms of a wider problem.

“The country doesn’t want revolution, it wants evolution”

As Tories unanimously rip apart the unions that were once the backbone of

Max George* He is a decent, principled man who has campaigned passionately on many issues. It is striking, though, that even as our party faces challenges over Europe and welfare cuts, opinion polls show Labour receding into electoral irrelevance. The Labour Party is the biggest rival, but even Conservatives would say that the death of such a long-lived and influential political organism would be unhealthy for British politics.

“British people do not see the solution to the World’s challenges as a radical overhaul of the entire system.

Corbyn does”

*Written corroboratively with Alex Bie, Harriet Beaty, and Sam Boam

Charlie Simpson Corbyn has always been far more comfortable as a protester than a policymaker. His values are perfectly acceptable, just not for someone who wants to become Prime Minister, something he does not seem to be serious about. Every gesture and policy is in opposition to the public and many of his MPs, and this rejection is reflected in the polls.

The Labour Party members who elected him were tired of politics as it is and understandably sought out something different. Yet they need to see what he really is - an incompetent relic. This country needs and deserves a strong Labour Party and an effective Opposition. Jez simply can’t provide.

Tom Shrimplin for who he is: someone who stands up for what he believes and certainly something we should all admire. Big up JC!

“Appreciate Corbyn for who he is: someone who stands up for what he believes and certainly someone we should admire.

Big up JC!”

Jamie Cameron Labour and working people, Corbyn’s party is imploding from its lack of a common vision. Socialism may benefit the majority of people, that’s the bloody point, but nobody knows it. Drop the radical activism, the country doesn’t want revolution, it wants evolution.

Corbyn, please, organise an inclusive progressive vision for the middle and working class, so we the people can see, or Osbourne’s coming premiership will lead us blindly into the dark.

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Monday 30 November 2015

The Courier

Lifestyle Editors: Katie Ackerley, Ruth Loeffler, Fiona Callow & Lauren Exell

Diary of A Double Denim Drama Queen

Jack Parker, The Courier’s biggest socialite recalls another one of his many raucous nights out on the toon

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nother Monday, another night out at Powerhouse, and I’m having pre drinks at my house. That’s no problem though, my bitchin’ pre drinks playlist is primed and ready for my guests. It’s a very exclusive crowd who get invited to my pres, more because my house is a confusing beast to try and track down. Oh well, we’ll catch them up on the way to Powerhouse. A quick trip to Rusty’s/Switch/that other one gets us ready for what’s about to come once inside Powerhouse We get in, I’ve remembered to put myself on guest list, the place is looking packed. Excellent. As we make our way onto the beautifully grimy light up dance floor, a stranger clocks my entrance, turns, and comes charging towards me, like a raging bull. ‘OMG IT’S JACK PARKER!’ They scream at me. ‘Yes, yes it is’ I reply, somewhat scared. They then begin to engage in a conversation about that time they met me and I did whatever and they thought it was fabulous and so on. Afterwards, they say their goodbyes and walk off, I tell them I’ll see them later and then turn to my friends and go ‘who was that again?’

“I’m not sure why he’s namechecking Moët so much.

Personally, I’m a Lanson Black Label NV boy myself ”

I get people coming up to me all the time who seem to know me and my name. It’s quite unsettling, I didn’t realise that my name has travelled quite so far.

If I’m honest, I’m a shy kind of guy, I don’t enjoy all the attention that I get, y’know? I’m just a down-to-earth man of the people. Newcastle upon Tyne’s very own Jenny from the Block.

So, anyway, some guy comes up to me and he’s like: ‘do you want a bottle of Moët?’ And naturally, being the opportunistic sponger that I am, I’m like ‘yeah’. So we go to the bar and he’s all like: ‘oh can I get a bottle of Moët? A bottle of Moët? Moët?’ Giving it all that.

I’m not sure why he’s name-checking Moët so much.

Personally, I’m a Lanson Black Label NV boy myself.

It comes to £60. He pays by card. Wow. The most I’ve ever spent in one go at Powerhouse is a tenner, and I don’t even think that was my tenner. No sooner than he obtains said Moët, he turns around to me and says: ‘Actually, I don’t want to give you any of it any more’, and walks away. But I’m not bothered, I hope it tastes like piss for all I care.

“I get people coming up to me all the time who seem to know me and my name. It’s quite unsettling, I didn’t realise that my name has travelled quite so far”

But whatever, I make a beeline for the stage, just in time to sing along to ‘All I want for Christmas is You’, and lo and behold, it’s snowing! Powerhouse is probably the only nightclub I know where it snows, I love it! From there on in, the night turns into a bit of a blur, and a few of my friends are looking like the mortal messes I have come to know and love. We saunter across to Dixy Chicken to eat some overlyspicy ersatz KFC. What a greasy end to another snow machine filled night.

Howay,It’sRegional Slang

Confused by your flatmates’ conversations? Antonia ColmanHarvey brings us the concise guide to decoding Northern slang These Geordies are strange folk aren’t they? Since arriving at Newcastle, you may have heard some strange words, phrases or sayings that you’ve never heard before. Those who are (proudly, naturally) anything North of Manchester seem to at times have their own language that defies any sensible conventions, and can to the untrained ear, sound exactly like Gobbledegook. But if you want to avoid the polite-laugh-and-nod situation when you’re not quite sure what you’ve agreed to, here’s a list of Geordie sayings I’ve picked up from my flatmatesfrom quite ordinary, to very exotic- the meanings might bewilder you…

Especially if you’re a -* quote * - ‘dirty southerner’.

Lesson Number One

1) Chuddy Meaning: Chewing gum.

Usage: “you need some chuddy cos your breath smells, like.”

2) Anorl Meaning: As well.

Usage: ‘Can’t believe that lecture wasn’t on, turned up for it anorl’ 3) Mint Meaning: really good.

Usage: “3 trebles for £6, that’s mint!”

4) Pied Meaning: To leave for someone else.

Usage: “I pied her cos shes a ugo” 5) Cushty Meaning: really good.

Usage: “It’s okay Wendy if you missed that deadline, just sit dahn and ave a cuppa, aaahhhhh cushty”

Bap, b You un or ro deci l de! l?

Lesson Number Three

“They have their own language that defies convention and can sound like Gobbledegook”

Lesson Number Two

6) Ellish Meaning: To describe something as really good.

Usage: “Denise it was due in tomorrow! Ellish!”

7) Lush Meaning: aesthetically pleasing.

Usage: “Treated myself to a lush milkshake after the assignment” 8) Buer Meaning: good looking.

Usage: “Apparently her lecturer is a buer” 9) Gam yam Meaning: leaving to go home Usage: “I’m gam yam cos I’m tired” 10) Mortal Meaning: very drunk.

Usage: “I was maaaahrtall last night, like!”

11) Offit Meaning: crazy.

Usage: “she’s offit if she thinks I’m doing a 1200 essay by Monday” 12) Shan Meaning: not very nice.

Usage: “I hate you, you are ugly.” “Stop being shan.”

13) Gippin Meaning: something awful Usage: “Mate, didn’t save my 1000 words.” “Ah, that’s gippin.”

14) Blaked Meaning: to be drunk Usage: “I was blaked last night in the library- was offit after 1000 words” 15) Yt Meaning: to be sick.

Usage “That was one hell of a yt in the library”

“Since arriving at Newcastle you may have heard strange words, phrases or sayings you’ve never heard before”

Lesson Number Four

16) Game Meaning: to be up to something.

Usage: “I am so game for going out tomorrah”

17) Bairn Meaning: kid.

Usage: “Ahhh used to mind you when yous was a wee bairn and your mam went to work” 18) Toon Meaning: the city centre.

Usage: “Just poppin into toon for a tea break aye” 19) Yous Meaning: you (plural) Usage: “I’ll go get the metro with yous!”

20) Why aye Meaning: Enthusiastic way of saying yes.

Usage: Why aye man!”

The Courier

.17

Monday 30 November 2015

Culture thecourieronline.co.uk/culture

Culture Editors: Laura Staniforth & Ellie McLaren Sections: Lifestyle, Fashion, Beauty, Arts, Music, Film, TV, Gaming & Science courier.culture@ncl.ac.uk | @CourierOnline

Blind Date Samantha on Max

So where did you go?

We went to Nancy’s Bordello. I decided to go because the pub quiz was on. He wanted to go to Francesca’s, but there’s always a massive queue there and I didn’t want to be stood around waiting for a table, so I thought we should go to Nancy’s instead.

How was it?

Well, he’d booked a table and everything for 8. But then I was late meeting him at the metro.

How late were you?

10 minutes, not too bad.

So, you sat down and got drinks, who got the drinks?

He got the first round and I got the second round, so we took it in turns. He paid for the quiz too!

So tell be about the quiz, who was better at knowing the answers?

He was really good and knew loads of the answers, we came second. But there was so many people I knew at the quiz, loads of girls from my school. I kept bumping into people at the bar and stuff, and being like ‘I didn’t even know you went to Newcastle…’

I see, did he think you were a bit of a BNOC? No, because I spoke to people while he was at the toilet so I avoided him seeing.

Did you swoon over how clever he was?

No, but I was buzzing he knew all the answers! One of the rounds was an interactive round, and you had to go up to the bartender and say your best chat-up line. He said the, “I may not be Fred Flintstone, but I know I can make your BedRock” one [laughs].

Did you cringe at that?

No because everyone else was doing it, and there was this group of girls that were just laughing too hard and making a scene, so I thought at least they were worse than us.

So did you like his personality, did he have good craic?

Yeah, can’t remember what over though. He thought I was really outgoing and up for a laugh because I did Fresher’s crew, and then I said “let’s go to the 20 Minute society social afterwards”, I think he thought ‘this girl’s up for a good time!’

So after you came second, what did you go?

We went to the cashpoint, and then Cosy Joe’s [the Karaoke bar], because that was where the 20 Minute society social was.

Did you sing any songs together?

Yeah, we sang Blank Space by Taylor Swift on stage together. But then halfway through all the 20 Minute Society lot got up on the stage, and I was like ‘get off !’ [laughs] So you wanted it to be just you and him?

Yeah!

Did you feel a spark?

No! That’s just cringey.

What happened after that?

We left, just us two, to get chips. He got chips and mayo and I got cheesy chips. Then he walked me home, and then… we kissed [laughs] How did that happen???

Don’t know… just… when we were hugging goodbye.

Were you both quite drunk?

Yeah, well I was, we spent the whole night side by side. Except for when I went to the toilet and my friend Charlie cornered him and started asking him questions like whether he had good intentions or not! …he said he found it intimidating.

Would you take him home to your parents?

Yeah, he’s talkative and he’s nice.

Okay, if he was an animal what would he be?

A dog, because he’s playful.

Finally, 1-10, how would you rate the date?

10!

Samantha Ree, 3rd Year Chemistry meets Max Vasey 3rd Year Politics

Max on Samantha Why didn’t you man up and suggest where to go on the date?

Well, I think Sam wanted something a bit more casual than a meal out, like drinks instead, which I don’t mind! So I was happy with what she chose.

What kind of things did you talk about?

We talked about quite a lot actually, family life, errrrrrm [struggles to think of other topics]. I found out she’s on my ex’s course, so that was a great topic of conversation, not at all awkward.

Everything came out naturally, so I couldn’t tell you exactly what topics we talked about.

Was the mention of ex the only awkward moment?

I mean it wasn’t actually that awkward, because she already knew, so she brought it up herself without me having to say anything, and I could kind of tell already by our mutual friends on Facebook. There was also one moment in the quiz where you had to go up and give a chat up line to the bartender, so that was a bit awkward.

Were you offended by her lateness?

No, definitely not, it was only a couple of minutes.

To be honest, I always expect my date to be at least 10 minutes late, so anything under 10 minutes was fine.

Ideal. So would your parents approve?

Yeah, definitely. She was a really cool fun girl, really easy to talk to. My parents are really easy going people, but they would definitely approve of a girl who they could go for a pint with, rather than a girl who sort of… thinks a lot of themselves.

She said that you were getting a lot of the questions right in the pub quiz, were you trying to show off ?

No! I actually was trying to be too clever on one of them. The question was ‘what sport was invented in 1895?’, and I knew the rugby team I supported was invented in 1880, so I said it can’t be rugby, and it turns out it actually was rugby, so I looked like a bit of a dick! I guess I got a couple right.

If she was an animal, what animal would she be?

I’m going to say a hyena, because she laughed a lot.

I’m not sure if that was me or if she just generally laughs a lot. Also she’s up for a laugh, bit cliché, but yeah.

Did the date progress to anywhere else?

We met up with the 20 Minute Society social at Cosy Joes afterwards, which was fun because we both saw people we knew there.

Who chose the karaoke song?

She did, I suggested something like ‘Wonderwall’, but she said no. She chose some break-up Taylor Swift song instead.

Will there be a second date?

I did ask Sam and she did say yes the first two times I asked, and then upon chasing it up she said that she’d rather just be friends, which is fair enough, she said she had a lot on.

Fair enough. So how would you rate your date out of 10?

I’d say it was probably a 10, it was the ideal date.

Looking for love? Send in your details to c2.lifestyle@ncl.ac.uk

18.lifestyle Rant of the Week ‘The Friendzone’ Georgii Hughes shares a different side to the ‘martydom’ of the Friendzone relationship

W

e’ve all been there. One of your mates starts to get uncomfortably close to you in the club forcing you to duck away and claim ‘I need to find my friend…’ before running away. Or they start asking you if you ‘want to get a coffee sometime’ in which case you never open the message and swear you never received it if they ask.

We’ve all received unwanted attention and I don’t know about anyone else but I really don’t know how to deal with it. Thus the ‘friendzone’ was created. This seemed like an easy way out for girls as we could easily let these boys down while remaining friends with them, avoiding any hurt feelings. However, what at first seemed like a haven soon turned into a living nightmare.

The ‘friendzone’ - Basically this is when a guy asks a girl out and she rejects him by saying she only sees him as a friend or the other way round.

According to the trusted academic source that is the Urban Dictionary ‘one common example of this is girls will reject a nice guy, and date douchebags, all the while complaining to the nice guy and saying things like “Why can’t all guys be like you?”’.

But who is this ‘nice guy’ this keyboard warrior is talking about? In the eyes of the internet the ‘nice guy’ is almost like a heroic figure, the equivalent of Russell Crowe in ‘Gladiator’. He never gets the girl despite his best efforts and carries the kind of traits you would expect to see in every character Hugh Grant has ever played: chivalry, kindness, honour and a dose of awkwardness. With attributes like these who could ever turn this boy down?

“In the eyes of the internet, the ‘nice guy’ is almost like a heroic figuure, the equivalent of Russell Crowe in ‘Gladiator’” However, that’s exactly what happens. The object of the ‘nice guys’ desires, on a path of selfdestruction, turns down his advances and chooses the promo boy who enjoys ‘getting ketty’ every weekend instead. This all makes her look like a bit of an idiot. But if we really look at this ‘nice guy’ though, isn’t he just like any other boy that’s up for a quick Netflix and chill?

Somehow the ‘friendzone’ has become a way to make women feel guilty for not wanting to just cop off with anyone, while making the men involved like martyrs – falling in their pursuit of getting laid. The only difference between the ‘nice guy’ and the ‘bad guy’ is that the ‘bad guy’ is straightforward about his intentions and lets it be known that he’s a bit of a tool. Whereas the ‘nice guy’ covers it up by putting on a fake persona and gets really passive aggressive if they’re rejected.

“The only difference between the ‘nice guy’ and the ‘bad guy’ is the ‘bad guy’ is more straightforward about his intentions” The ‘nice guy’ is really one of those people that demands to be paid back that 50p you borrowed for some gum. He’s that person that draws a line on his milk bottle after every time he’s used it so he can tell if someone else has stolen some. He’s that guy that won’t say ‘thank you’ when you hold a door open for him.

Maybe instead of making girls into the spawn of Satan for having the audacity to reject you, you should just forget about it and move on because this whole ‘friendzone’ thing is very annoying and inconvenient for everyone involved.

Monday 30 November 2015

The Courier

Home Wars: Halls vs Housing

Phoebe Claire-Bower discusses the whether the hype of the Halls is worth the nonexistent sleeping pattern and queue for the bathrooms each morning

Halls

A key aspect of Uni life is where you live. For most of us, this is the first time living away from home, and we want to feel as comfortable and as at ease as we can to help with the transition. It is really important to have a clear, normal idea about Halls so that you’re expectations aren’t completely unrealistic and disappoint you. What we see in American movies shouldn’t inform our expectations, but this article should! So, without further ado, this is what you can expect from your Newcastle accommodation.

There are loads of good things about living in Halls. To start, you’re not living with your parents anymore, which means FREEDOM! You can eat what you want, drink how much and whenever, and have sex (casual or long term) LOUDLY without it feeling SUPER WEIRD you’re parents just down the hallway (Not sure about you, but my sex life seriously diminishes when I’m gone over the Summer). Living with new people can be great! You get introduced to people from all walks of life, who you might never have met otherwise. These are the people who will be there for you when you are chundering your dinner over the bathroom floor, who’ll remind you turn off the oven and clean the flat with you for inspection. Even if you’re not besties, they’ll be there for you and can be a lot of fun!

Flat and floor parties are a must and one of the best things about Halls. Ricky is famous for them, and you can count on there being at least one going down in your block a night, whereever you live. Even chilled out activities are fun; cooking and watching films together are a lush way to spend an evening, all snuggled in with your flatties sharing your blanket. As well as the social atmosphere, most of the accommodation for Newcastle Uni is relatively cheap (Compared to other parts of the U.K.), and the option of being Catered/Self-Catered. The fact that bills are included will be a saviour to those who can only find the right temperature with the scorching radiator on and the window open…

Although Ricky is frankly a pig sty, it’s got character, and if that’s not for you, there are a ton of other options including the View if you fancy somewhere a bit more upmarket. Some Halls are cleaned weekly (For you dirty lot out there), and all of them are within walking distance of the Uni, with the exception of St Mary’s which has a bus. Altogether, Halls are treat and should be enjoyed while they can be, before you get stuck in house-hunting.

Housin g

VS

Despite the glowing reviews, there are a few downsides to Halls. If you don’t like your flatmates, that can be uncomfortable. More than uncomfortable, it can be overwhelmingly lonely. Your flatmates you’re put with in Halls are completely random and there’s always a chance for this to go horribly wrong.

One of the advantages to private housing is that you can often choose who you get to live with. This means that if you know of anyone starting first year with you, you can make sure there’ll be minimal awkward first encounters that haunt the halls of well...

Halls.

If you still want to be thrown in at the social deep then there’s the possibility to share a house with strangers but with a little added privacy that your standard halls. Smaller houses with multiple bathrooms and bigger bedrooms makes it easier for you to avoid awkward bathroom situations and gives you more flexibility with your showering schedule.

A house also allows you to feel more independent. With no staff to impose strict rules on noise and cleanliness, a house is the only place where you are completely free to enjoy your university experience. There’s nothing worse than the cleanier coming round on a Thursday morning at 7am and shouting about why your dining room is still full of bottles from the night before.

ict d r e V e Th

While both sides do have their positives, the whole Halls experience is one not to miss out on. It forces you to submerge yourself in the university experience and shapes every aspect of your uni life for the next three years.

The Ultimate Lazy Shopper

It’s the internal struggle: you need food but the comfort of your bed is just too much to resist. Amanda Yap champions the wonders of the online shop

I

’ve just recently added online shopping to my list of hobbies, all of which requires minimal effort to do and I am able to accomplish while staying indoors. I can guess why online shopping has become a fad lately, pages and pages of every conceivable product is just a click of a mouse away! This is the wonder of technology and it is by far the greatest invention of mankind which I’m grateful for every single day! From clothes to wacky gifts- my particular favourite being bacon soap, it will guarantee to keep you at your seat for hours on end just scrolling through shopping site after shopping site.

I am part of the minority group who absolutely abhor queuing even though it is considered a national past time back in Singapore. So for all impatient people like me, online shopping would be a sure way to buy what I want within minutes, however waiting for them to arrive is another story altogether. Also, online shopping was created for lazy sloths like you and me, what is the excitement of trudging up and down Norththumberland Street searching for an outfit, only to find that your size has been sold out. Another reason why online shopping is in the rage is probably the variety of items offered, whether it is colour or design.

Mobile phone covers is the classic example, from the type of materials to the colour or cartoon designs, you will probably end up buying an entire wardrobe for your mobile phone. That is not all, as a buyer, you can hop from one shopping site to another whenever you fancy, Taobao, G-Market, Qoo10, Amazon, ASOS and more. Take your pick!

Don’t get me wrong, I am not against shopping in stores. I just like enjoying the best of both

Illustation: Katie Wiseman

worlds: Lounging in the comforts of my home and able to buy clothes at the same time. Is that too much to ask? But a spot of retail therapy has been proven to do wonders to one’s mood, the feeling of touching items that we love before swiping our cards or handing over that 50-pound note to make an official claim over the item results in a euphoric state that will leave you on high for a few hours, if not a few days.

Equally, online shopping can be dangerous; the amount of times I’ve accidently ‘slipped’ on the mouse and added another item to my virtual basket isn’t worth mentioning. Because all transactions are done via card online, it’s easy to convince oneself that the money isn’t ‘real’ and you’ve made an absolute killing: until that inevitable bank statement a few months down the line, when you’ll curse yourself and wonder how you spent overbudget on those cute boots (which lasted a week before the sole wore down). At least with shopping in store, the purchase actually feels more palpable and the sense of shame when you leave Primark clutching the biggest bag they’ve got, is hopefully an incentive not to then go and check out the River Island sales.

To actually go out and shop can sometimes be an adventure, who knows when you might stumble across one of those kinds of shops where you can actually score great bargains and emerge 3 hours later with more than you anticipated.

However, my heart still lies with the ease of online shopping. Whether I’m in bed or just lying around on the sofa, my potential happiness- be it a cheeky Dominos or that dress I’ve been eying up for a while- is just a mouse click away.

The Courier

lifestyle.19

Monday 30 November 2015

thecourieronline.co.uk/lifestyle c2.lifestyle@ncl.ac.uk | @CourierLifestyle

Ameen’s

Tasty Jacks

Ameen’s is a great start to a fab takeaway. Red and silver in colour its chic and fun. The staff are lovely and become bashful at the slurred words ‘Ameen’s is my favourite in Newcastle’. With tickets for your purchase ensures that no one will ever steal your nuggets. The prices are affordable and it’s social with a constant stream of students filtering through. Recommended dish is the delicious cheesy chips and gravy (don’t forget the Mayo) or of course chips and curry sauce. I have been known to leave TupTup without making it past the smoking area just to leave and head to Ameem’s opening arms.

Munchies

Munchies of course is a classic but strong choice. Despite being overpriced, there is always something going on in here, it’s an entertaining place. The chicken kebabs are supposedly out of this world and it even has a 5* hygiene rating. What more could you want?

Another great joint is Tasty Jacks. Whilst ordering a delicious bolognaise pizza you can enjoy reclining on the comfy plush sofas, and they even offer arcade games to entertain the more lively amongst your group! The best part of this takeaway is the fact they oven cook the cheese on your chips in one of those aluminium trays - mmmmm.

Battle of the 2am takeaways

Flo Strachen gives her verdict on which takeaway comes out on top for post night-out scran There’s is nothing more satisfying after a night out, dancing and sweating, to get a quick bite on the way home. However, the takeaway shop is not just a means to an end, it is an experience. It’s a place where friends gather after a night out, memories are shared and anarchy rules. At the end of a fun filled evening my advice would be to not search for the hailed yellow arches of Macdonald’s and its uniformity, but go to a real toon takeaway (The Toon Takeaway is thoroughly recommended).

I am a connoisseur of a drunken night out snack; I’ve been to many and experimented due to my adversity to the classic Maccy D’s. There is, I know nothing more disappointing than a bad takeaway, lumpy gravy and absolutely no atmosphere. How infuriating, so let us be your guide to the Toon’s finest...

Magic Flame Magic Flame I would say is a more of an upmarket takeaway; just near digital it has great geographical location. Magic flame is the after party of every Digi night. Hoards of students leaving Cirque or Future Funk who aren’t ready to leave flock to Magic flame where the fun continues. The chef turns DJ and pumps the tunes over the airwaves. Soon Adele is booming and everyone dances on the tables. The fun doesn’t stop there. The garlic sauce ordered here with pizza is incredible! The gravy isn’t so shabby either, so good my friend even licked it off her arm. Hate them with guilt when you’re sober, yet love them when you’re drunk there’s no escaping the pull of the takeaway. For the first few weeks of Freshers I did so well, but when you’ve tasted your first chip and gravy the world suddenly makes sense. I now cannot live without the comfort of these havens.

Overheard on Campus “To the fresher that said: ‘Dissertation?

That’s like, three years away. What’s the big deal anyway?’ You fool”

Village Takeaway

A word of warning however Spital Tongue folk of Ricky and Marris, do not sample what the Village Takeaway has to offer. On a desperate trip to Londis on your Sunday night depression may tell you this is the cure, I’m afraid it isn’t. With lumpy gravy and spongy textured scampi I won’t be rushing to these fryers again.

“To the boy who farted in Herschel on Monday and looked around to check no-one heard him: I did. I won’t forget your face”

“A girl in the library having a meltdown about her essay being too ‘basic’ because it didn’t talk about death enough”

Foody Foddy

This week, columnist Emma Foddy visits Quayside favourite Gusto for some grub

T

his week I have decided to review an old favourite of mine, Gusto’s, an elegant Italian restaurant on the Quayside. You will find it right behind Pitcher and Piano, which is next to the Millennium Bridge. If you can, specify that you would like to sit upstairs next to the window. The walls are glass from top to bottom and offer a striking view of the river. In the summer you can sit outside, amongst the fairy lights and olive trees.

Gusto’s is the perfect place for when the parents are up and you want to escape the student hub of Jesmond and exploit the fact that they, unlike you, are not knee-deep in their overdraft. It is also the ideal place for a special date, for example an anniversary dinner or if your boyfriend just wants to spoil you (give him this to read and hopefully he’ll get the hint). Some tables are circular booths, which offer a cosy and romantic atmosphere amidst the busy restaurant. I’d recommend dressing smart-casual/smart, depending on the occasion.

“Gusto’s is the ideal restaurant for a special occasion, but equally perfect for a romantic meal for two” In terms of the food, I suggest trying a meat or a fish dish. They are bursting with flavour and offer a quality that cannot be rivalled. You have to order sides separately. My personal favourites are the green beans with shallots, which are served crunchy and delicious in a garlic sauce. I always struggle choosing between the creamy mashed potato with pesto and the baked rosemary and garlic potatoes, but to be honest you could not go wrong with either of them. However, if you’re into crispy buttery potatoes with the perfect level of crunch, the latter is for you. Having to order sides separately does obviously boost the cost of the bill. If you are dining on a budget, the pizzas, pastas and risottos are very reasonably priced so you can still enjoy the fine dining atmosphere at a lower cost.

However, I would say that you can find similar and equally tasty pizza/pasta dishes elsewhere for a slightly cheaper cost, which is why I would recommend not missing out on the meat or fish if you go to Gusto’s.

Onto the most important thing – pudding.

Gusto’s serve a Nutella and Mascarpone Calzone, which is a chocolate-lover’s dream. A river of melted Nutella and thick creamy mascarpone pours out from the sweet, warm dough as soon as you pierce it with your fork. As if it isn’t sweet enough, it is served with a light dusting of icing sugar. Make sure you try some, even if you have to steal it off the nice lady sitting next to you! It is so indulgentforget about calorie counting and tuck in.

“A river of melted Nutella and thick, creamy mascarpone pours out from the sweet, warm dough”

Gusto’s is the ideal restaurant for a special occasion, but equally perfect if you just want to treat yourselves to a romantic meal for two. The elegant atmosphere coupled with superb food will ensure you feel spoiled rotten by the end of the night. The service is flawless and you will feel extremely well looked after. I would definitely recommend booking on a Friday or Saturday night, as you are unlikely to get a table otherwise. I hope you enjoy it as much as I do!

The Quayside, Newcastle-upon-Tyne, NE1 3DX

20.fashion

Monday 30 November 2015

The Courier

Fashion Editors: Ellen Dixon, Liz Rosling & Sara Macauley

Beth Humphreys asks the question we’ve all been wondering: why does everyone look the same?!

W

alking in to a bar down Osborne road last week, it became apparent when stepping through the door that I seem to be a rare breed in Newcastle. It appeared to me in that very instant, I was the only person in a 50 metre radius that didn’t own one of the following three items: New Balance trainers, an Eastpak rucksack or a feather down jacket.

I feel as though I am somewhat out-dated; that this elite club that I was not invited to, nor pre warned about, seem to have the upper hand, purely by the clothes that they wear. Make no mistake, I am by no means suggesting that the people that wear the aforementioned items of clothing put themselves into a superior bracket, but when I walked in to Osborne’s wearing my 2011 leavers hoodie and a pair of UGG boots, it was clear that back in 2013, I was perhaps the only one who didn’t receive the memo in my Fresher’s pack on what I should and should not be clothing myself in.

What happened to individuality? I seem to be drowning in a sea of Canada goose, Northface, New balance and Nike when walking through campus. Fashion is relative to time and place - I don’t think ripped jeans and oversized shirts were all the rage in the middle east back in ‘08, but the pair do seem to have got the residents of Jesmond in a vice-like grip.

“Ironically, hours are spent generating a statement that screams ‘I can’t be arsed’”

Phoebe-Claire Bower and Hannah Sharratt go head to head in a battle of taste

N

ine times out of ten, quality trumps quantity and we must all learn that this rule applies to fashion. Don’t get me wrong, I would without question choose to own several old, crumpled £10 notes than one pristine one. However, when we’re talking about clothes, it’s all about quality.

I’ll take one classic key piece over a wardrobe of cheap accessories any day of the week, s’il vous plaît. As Coco Chanel once said, “fashion is made to become unfashionable. Strive for style, style is timeless”. We must take inspiration from Parisians when it comes to style; they are the goddesses of effortless chic. Think monochrome and a 10 piece wardrobe which can take you from casual daytime to night out ready.

Style appertains to timeless, classic pieces. Always limit your outfit to one statement piece which attracts all focus whilst keeping the rest of the outfit simple (this includes the boobs or leg rule - NEVER both). For example, take a plain t-shirt, pair of perfect fitting jeans, pair of heels, minimal jewellery and a slick of crimson lipstick and I guarantee, you’ll look a picture of elegance and sophistication. Far more attractive than the unfortunate girl trying to combine 10 trends into one outfit, creating a sea of chaos which incorporates leather, faux fur, multiple prints, and goodness knows what else.

Of course the effortless look, ironically, can sometimes require a lot of time and effort, but the crucial thing is that it doesn’t show and you always feel comfortable in what you’re wearing.

Finally, regardless of whether you’re a gal or a guy, never underestimate the power of a good coat. They keep you toasty on a cold winter’s evening, cover all sins, and bring together any outfit. Simplicity done right is far more powerful than accessories galore. I mean what’s sexier than a guy in a just a plain white t shirt and a good pair of jeans? (Just picture Ryan Gosling, and thank me later.)

YES

‘Hazard’ by Topshop

While I find it rather odd, Newcastle University does in fact seems to have adopted its own sense of style. Wander over to Northumbria’s Campus, Bigg Market or down Pilgrim street and the odds of seeing other people of the city wearing the same get up as a Newcastle student are extremely slim. The university churns out thousands of students who get carried away in the herd of ‘rah’ and who make a large effort to look dressed down, when ironically hours are spent generating a statement that screams ‘I can’t be arsed’.

The point I suppose I’m trying to make here is that maybe, following the herd is not only expensive but also unbelievably predictable and a little boring. It feels as though people are purchasing staple items to wear to become accepted, to be a ‘Uni of ’ student, to be picked out amongst a crowd as a red brick attendee and well, it all seems rather false.

Fashion shouldn’t be about earning acceptance, it should be a personal representation of your own identity and creativity. I’m not suggesting you stick feathers in your hair and wear beads from head to toe, but why should we all look and dress the same?

Everyone seems exhausted by the constant need to try and fit in, be accepted and feel like part of some posh elitist community.

Don’t worry readers, if your memo also got lost in the post and you too don’t own the staple ‘red brick’ items, I’m sure it won’t be long until we start a trend of our own. After all, as soon as one leads everyone else will follow.

Is less really more?

instagram @dolcegabbana

NO instagram @kimkardashian

I

s less more in fashion? Absolutely not. One word, guys: layers. We’re in the middle of Winter in the midst of the freezing North - it’s time to start prioritising our warmth and comfort.

However, that doesn’t mean sacrificing looking good.

Layering up means that you can wear that cheeky strap top beneath your favourite threadbare jumper in a sunset orange, with a thick duffel coat and woolly scarf topping it off. Layers allow you to wear what you like and Summer Urban Outfitters favourites can be worn without suffering the chill.

Adding more layers allows for a bit more freedom. You can change up your whole look by shedding your sweater when you arrive to a lecture. Layering enables you to get out of that Newcastle chill, and into the sauna that is the Robbo without feeling uncomfortable. No longer will you be stuck in that too fluffy Christmas jumper because you didn’t wear anything beneath it.

As a side note, the layering technique can also work with regards to your leg-wear. If you can’t stand black tights (like me) you can layer a pair of nude tights with thick knee-high socks. Perfect solution! Layering is the way forward, and to look fab this Winter, it’s the technique you’ll want to use.

Finally, when thinking about accessories, I suggest you defy the general rule: if you are about the leave the house, put one more accessory ON rather than off. Life is too short to scrimp, and as long as you style it right you can never overdo the adornments to your outfit. Clashing can work well, with colour, patterns or textures.

In my opinion, less is definitely not more, so this season wear all of your favourite pieces at once and you will have all eyes on you for the right reasons.

Fashion & Technology: the new power couple Zosia Zwieglinska investigates the emergence of high fashion tech onto our high streets

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echnology and fashion have inevitably come together over the last couple of years. As the world of electronics grows more and more sophisticated, certain brands have begun to expand and cater to a more fashionable target audience. First Apple came out with two versions of the iPhone- the colourful jelly case suitable ‘for the masses,’ and the first ‘S’ model, which came perfectly fitted into a gold, silver and space-grey outfit.

The hefty price tag attached means that phones now have to seriously stand out to sell, and the most profitable way of doing so is through the world of fashion. In a trading market where competitors stand out through their differences, fashion seems like the most natural partner for technology. After all, who better to market two different models of something when a dress from Prada costs around £2,500 and one from Primark can be as low as £5?

Apple have been trying to focus on their products appearances for a while now and aim to bring their fashion-conscious Apple Watch into the spotlight. The Apple Watch was made specifically for fashionistas, with the most expensive models reaching £13,500. The design aspect of such expensive technological pieces brings in a fusion of fashionable, highly stylized pieces, and the convenience and integrity with other the Apple products that customers may already have. According to Vertu, the creator of the world’s most expensive iPhone; “the market for luxury technology has become broader following the launch of higher priced versions of Apple’s iPhone.”

However, developing technology for the fash-

ionable in mind is not exclusively an Apple-brand concept. Companies like Fitbit are collaborating with designers like Tory Burch, and transforming fitness tracking from ugly awkwardly shaped bands to perfectly sculptured gold bracelets. In the Harrods department store, decoration of Tor items y Bu such rch £17 a s 0

Apple Watch £649

Iphon Marc e 6 case: M Jacob s £40 arc by

Return of the Rahs

phones, p h o n e cases and headphones comes with a high price tag. If you’re willing to spend, Harrods will be able to bling you up in no time: platinum, gold, rose gold, Swarovski crystals, crocodile skin…you name it – they’ll probably

have your electronic of choice kitted out in it.

In the past, fine details like the ones mentioned would have been reserved solely for exclusive accessories like watches, bags and wallets, men’s tiepins and luggage. The emergence of such extravagance into mainstream society is a new, but natural progression from times when technology was too expensive for consumption by the masses.

Whilst most people cannot afford pieces from prestigious fashion collections, getting a case for your phone or iPad is another way of showing the world that you can also be stylish without breaking the bank.

The union of fashion and technology is a new step for both worlds, however it isn’t just the technology world enjoying the honeymoon - global giants like D&G are completely backing the trend. It’s evident the fashion world is embracing technology wholeheartedly; as the Apple Watch, Google Glass and more advanced fitness trackers demonstrate.

Fashion and technology merging means that there are more new devices being made with fashion in mind. Integrated bags with charging cables are already being brought up as concepts, and better ergonomics mean that new designs for technology are sleeker, and more refined.

Some fashion purists still do believe that fashion should remain as a separate field, focused on refining its techniques to bring in young designers, and not large conglomerates like Apple.

However, this new venture has brought in such a large following from new customers that fashion simply cannot deny the impact of technology.

The Courier

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Monday 30 November 2015

thecourieronline.co.uk/fashion Instagram:@thecourierfashion | Facebook: facebook.com/thecourierfash |Email: c2.fashion@ncl.ac.uk

Blogger of the week: Amy Bell Chloe Laws scouts out the best of the blogosphere and explains why The Little Magpie gets the crown

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inding style inspiration can be difficult, as navigating through the endless blogger feeds on Instagram can be overwhelming with so many options now-a-days. However street style is one of the best ways to find new up and coming brands and to discover new exciting ways to build outfits.

There are a lot of bloggers out there who use it as a purely financial platform, with endless endorsements and barely any genuine interest in what they’re plugging. I’ve done the work for you and sifted through to find a blogger who’s still got a bit of individuality about them, and isn’t just in it for the free teeth-whitening kits.

This week’s favourite from the vast bloggersphere is the ultimate queen of petite dressing; Amy Bell from ‘thelittlemagpie.com’.

Amy started her blog whilst at uni studying English Literature as an outlet to get away from academia and write about less formal, more colourful subjects. This hobby turned out pretty well as she now has 74.5K followers on Instagram, and 12k on bloglovin’, allowing it to become a full-time career.

trousers go well with anything, headbands aren’t just for Blair Waldorf and a chunky grey scarf is seriously underrated!

Although winter is arguably the best time for fashion it can be difficult to keep warm and look stylish. It’s very easy to end up looking like you’re about to climb Mount Everest/ look double your size with all the layers.

Amy’s top tips for A/W include not undervaluing the power of the jacket! She states that the four coats to take you through the season includes the tailored, the blazer, the fur and the leather- who are we to argue when her collection is so ‘#goals’ worthy?

If fashion blogs aren’t your thing, then ‘thelittlemagpie’ also has a plethora of posts on travel and lifestyle; whether that’s gluten free recipes, a photo diary of a weekend in Paris, or write ups of the numerous blogger events she attends- there’s something for everyone!

If you prefer watching rather than reading your fashion info, then Amy also has a YouTube channel under the same user name as her blog. Her melodic Scottish accent, dry humour and random outbursts of (incredible) singing make the typical ‘monthly favourite’ videos stand-out from the more famous but sickly-sweet YouTubers.

Her style is a mixture of androgynous dressing with statement pieces. Amy has the art of layering perfected, she uses neutral colour pallets but adds texture and colour through her accessories. We can all learn a thing or two from her; black leather

Designed by the Jenner sisters, Lois Johnston talks Topshop’s new X-mas collection

Instagram: @amberrosephoto

Our fave looks

by The Little Magpie

‘‘It’s all about balance, Amy pushes the boat out but doesn’t sail it all the way across the ocean’’

As a fellow short girl, it’s nice to see a blogger who doesn’t play by the ‘dress-for-your-shape’ rule.

Don’t get me wrong, her outfits are always flattering, but she doesn’t rule out trends just because of her height. For instance she regularly dons suits, culottes and full skirts; proving that if you look hard enough there is always a version of every trend that will work for you.

So next time you have a browse on ASOS, have a scroll through ‘thelittlemagpie’ tag to remind yourself not to limit your outfit options. It’s all about balance; Amy pushes the boat out but doesn’t sail it all the way across the ocean.

Instagram: @little_magpie1

Beth Evans finds us four fabulous fur coats fit for the winter weather (and her approval)

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Coat 1 Shop: Primark Price: £30

Coat 2 Shop: New Look Price: £54.99

Coat 3 Shop: Topshop Price: £89

Coat 4 Shop: Dorothy Perkins Price: £42

This was the first coat I found when I was walking round the shops. It is a lovely shade of dark green and it felt pretty soft when I gave it a stroke. If you want to look all nice and cuddly then this sure is the coat for you. I would wear this coat with sunglasses and not smile like I am doing in the picture because then when you are walking through the park people will think you are mysterious and stylish like a person from a film or somebody French. My worst problem with this coat though is that it doesn’t have any pockets at all, so you may have to wear it with something that does have pockets to put your stuff in or perhaps even take a bag.

3

4

This was the bulkiest of the coats I tried on and it was also the one that cost the most money. It has the grooviest pattern ever - it makes you look like you have skinned an animal without actually having to hurt one which is both good for the world and my conscience. I would wear this coat for a trip to the zoo so all the cute baby leopards would think I am their mother and follow me around like the pied piper. I would say get this coat only if you feel you are sure that you are really ready to make a faux fur commitment as it’s quite a bit pricier than the rest.

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ast Friday saw the long-anticipated release of our favourite sisters’ Christmas line at Topshop. This is the Kendall and Kylie Jenner’s second line at Topshop but it’s unlikely that it will be their last. Available online and in certain UK stores now, my advice is to act fast because it’s likely to sell out straight away.

The 15 piece line includes two faux fur coats, a black LBD, a metallic silver skirt, a blush maxi skirt, a black jumpsuit, and a selection of items in a marble print amongst others. The prices range from £30 to £130 pounds and because it’s Topshop, you know it will all be good quality.

The Jenner sisters said “We wanted to design a special line of pieces that capture both an elegant and edgy vibe”. I’m not sure about edgy, but this collection is definitely elegant and most of the pieces could be worn together. Also, the majority of the collection is black and everyone knows black goes with everything, all year round.

“Overall, the collection is very impressive and truly looks like a snapshot of any Kardashian wardrobe”

The Sarcastic Shopper: faux fur faves 1

This Christmas, wear Kendall & Kylie

If you are a fan of the colour black then this, my friend, is the fur coat for you. It is quite long so makes my legs look short but it is very warm and has a faux leather belt to tie around so it’s like you are wearing an outdoor dressing gown. This is a night time coat so I would wear it maybe to see a serious play at a theatre or if I was going to meet a friend for a White Russian. A black faux fur coat is very great because black is a colour that goes with mostly anything and everybody always looks good in black. I would say this coat has a crow vibe so if you like crows and other black things that are fluffy then you should get this one.

This was the last coat I tried on because I was getting a bit tired of putting on so many coats. It made me feel pretty like a snowflake. I would wear this when it’s sunny because it’s not very thick.

It is, however, very white, so I predict that it would be quite easy to get messy. One time I was in Mcdonalds with my friend who had a white coat on and she was drunk and smeared ketchup on the edge of it and then a boy we know pointed at the stain and said “haha is that menstruation on your coat?” and then no one laughed and it was really awkward for everybody involved. So yeah, don’t do that.

One of the pieces I think will sell out straight away is the oversized black and white bomber jacket which Kylie is wearing in most of the promo shots. It has leather-look sleeves and is longline, so is flattering for most shapes. I think it will give that classic Jenner I-didn’t-really-try-but-still-lookgreat look to any outfit. I also expect the metallic silver skirt and the black lace up body to be hugely popular. I think the body is great value for money at £40 as it can be worn with anything from season to season, and is one of 2015’s biggest trends.

At £95 I don’t think that the skirt is as reasonably priced, and at the moment there are lots of similar ones on the high street for a fraction of that price. Regardless, nobody can say it isn’t gorgeous.

I would say that my favourite piece of the entire collection is the Mongolian Faux Fur Coat. This dusty dark blue textured fur coat is bang on trend for AW15. It adds colour to any outfit without being too bold, is a perfect colour for this season and will fit well into most people’s wardrobes. At £130, the price tag makes me want to cry (I just love it so much) but I suppose that as an investment piece, and compared to others on the market, it’s not too unreasonable. And, once you’ve spent all your money on that and have none left to pay your heating bills, at least it will keep you warm.

Overall, the collection is very impressive and truly looks like a snapshot of any Kardashian wardrobe. Kendall and Kylie said they “really wanted to showcase our personal style but mix it up with a holiday twist” and although it can’t be said that all the pieces are practical for winter, they’ve definitely achieved their aim.

instagram @kyliejenner

22.beauty

Monday 30 November 2015

The Courier

Beauty Editors: Flora Davies, EllenWalker & Lucy Cochrane

In the frame Sally Mu helps glasses wearers makes the most of their frames

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lasses are the gifts of sight for those of us who have vision problems, and we also want to look great when we throw them on. Sadly gorgeous make up handiwork often gets lost behind the frames of the wearers, which always makes us look boring. Yet thankfully, I’ve got 5 genius make-up tips to make the most of your glasses.

The highlight trick to start with is to keep your face flawless. Try to apply your favourite brightening concealer to lighten up the inner corners as well as under your eyes. This is because lenses will really highlight darkness. Also remember that your lenses also magnify any mistakes you made to your eye makeup, such as the infamous ‘fly legs’ clumpy mascara. So to all you gorgeous glasseswearing ladies out there, be sure to groom your lashes carefully with a comb beforehand.

“Using eyeliner, mascara and brow pencil are essential to make sure your eyes don’t get lost behind your frames” The second essential beauty tip for specs wearers is to define your eyes. Using eyeliner, mascara and brow pencil are essential to make sure your eyes don’t get lost behind your frames. During the winter season, when you’ve just come from the freezing outside to the heated Robinson library, your eyes get warm behind the lenses. In this way, replacing your cosmetics to waterproof/ smudgeproof formulas will surely help prevent smudges.

Moreover, don’t forget to ensure your brows are well groomed as it is your glasses that frame your eyes, but it is your eyebrows that frame your glasses. The right structure to your face when wearing specs is pretty important so make sure you have a defined arch on your eyebrows, but don’t go too overboard.

If you prefer a subtle look, you can simply brush up your brows with an eyebrow shaper. I’d like to recommend Bobbi Brown’s ‘natural brow shaper & hair touch up’. Its mascara-like wand with liquid colour gives me defined but very natural looking brows.

Having a brush affair Charlotte Smith brings us the best of the brushes that are worth the investment

T

he use of quality makeup brushes will take your face from looking good to flawless.

With specific brushes designed for blending, application and contouring, you’ll never be able to go back to the cheap, ineffective products you once used. Yes it seems costly just for makeup applicators but can you put a price on perfection?

The brushes I use are an American brand called Sigma. As far as I know you can’t get them in stores here in the UK but plenty of online retailers stock them. The brushes are made of synthetic fibres, making them last longer and easier to clean. (I recommend using MAC brush cleanser regularly to keep them in top condition.)

“You’ll never be able to go back to the cheap, ineffective products you once used. Yes it seems costly just for makeup applicators but can you put a price on perfection?”

My top tip is synthetic: as long as the brush is synthetic then you can’t go wrong. If you’re a beginner who hasn’t started using makeup brushes before properly then I strongly suggest investing in Sigma’s Premium Kit. You can get it from amazon for around £150.00 and you get 15 brushes – 7 eye brushes, 7 face brushes and 1 lip brush. If you just need brushes for your eyes, try Sigma’s Basic Eyes kit: 7 brushes for around £60.00 on amazon including blending brush, eyeliner and shading. Alternatively, if you just require the bare essentials then I would recommend buying a suitable brush for

The more you use the brushes, the more you’ll develop your own methods. To get you started, here are my top tips and tricks for a smooth application:

Use a flat kabuki style brush to apply liquid foundation instead of a basic foundation brush to avoid streaky brush marks.

each of these things: foundation, blusher, bronzer, highlight, eye shadow and eye liner (and if you feel like treating yourself, a brow brush and blending brush too!) Once you’ve got your brushes, you need to learn how to use them properly.

There are so many you tubers who teach you how to apply makeup on their channels, the best thing you can do is watch a few different ones and figure out who suits your style best. I personally follow Jaclyn Hill as she uploads tutorials for daytime and night time looks, as well as skin care routines and monthly favourites.

For inspiration of looks you can create, head over to www.pinterest.com and search for different makeup ideas. The links behind the photographs usually lead to a beauty blog where you can even find more styles to try out.

Use scotch tape to create a diagonal line from the outer corner of your eye to the end of your eyebrow then take your eyeliner brush and start from the tape and drag it along the lash line, gradually thinning, towards the inner corner of your eye for a simple cat eye.

Less is more. Don’t pack too much product on the brushes – you can always go back and add more.

Blend!

Instagram: Maccosmetics

Beautiful inside and out Siobhan Fuller advocates putting down makeup in favour of eating and drinking yourself beautiful

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o you’ve tried every wash, gel, scrub and cream under the sun to improve your skin, yet nothing seams to work? If you’re anything like me, your bathroom is littered with bottles of skin products that range from everyday brands to high-end names that you bought out of sheer desperation. However, no matter what you put on the outside, your body will only ever flourish if you are mindful about what’s going inside too. Whether you want to eliminate bloating or just want a natural glow, here’s what you need in your fridge. Water is vital to feeling good, inside and out. Try to drink 1.5 litres minimum, and have a glass before bed to decrease puffiness whilst you’re catching up on beauty sleep. If water gets a little boring for you, detox bottles are heaven sent. Just add some fresh lemon, raspberries or blueberries: delicious AND good for you.

“This unfortunately means no more biscuits with your tea and no more Desserts Delivered”

Another hot tip to make a statement is to rock a bold lip, don’t be afraid to express yourself as a powerful lip will balance out your face, especially if you wear an eye-catching frame. I bet many of you desperately want to wear a bright lipstick or you’re thinking of trying your new pop pink, go for it! It’s incredibly classic to play off the look with a strong frame and a bold lip.

Last but not least, choose the right eyeliner shade for your frames. For those of you who wear traditional colours of gunmetal, brown or black frames, try coloured liner beneath the lower lash line to really pop behind a dark frame. Opt for interesting and edgy colours such as violent, jade green and bronze. For lighter and shinier frame wearers, stick to soft, pale colours so as not to compete with your frames, and go for a nude on the lid and a taupe or metal on the crease. Otherwise there may be too much going on which could interfere with the frames.

Follow above beauty tricks and wear your specs with pride.

Instagram: Sigmabeauty

We all know that it isn’t the best of ideas to eat a whole box of chocolates in one sitting, particularly if your skin is imperfection prone. A quick fix for cravings is to switch milk chocolate for dark anything over 70% still gives you a sugar boost but

salmon with sweet chilli dressing and vegetables at lunch instead of snacking through the day.

“If water gets a little boring for you, detox bottles are heaven sent. Just add some fresh lemon, raspberries or blueberries: delicious AND good for you”

Instagram: Detoxwater isn’t as creamy, plus it contains important diseasefighting antioxidants called cocoa flavonols. If this still doesn’t make a difference, avoid foods with a high sugar content. This unfortunately means no more biscuits with your tea and no more Desserts Delivered. Fill up on Brazil and cashew nuts instead because although they’re high in fat, they’re more natural than the artificial ingredients in our favourite chocolate bars. They are also seleniumrich which is amazing for tackling acne. It increases the antioxidants in your body and prevents blocked pores perfect for battling blemishes. Another cause for skin problems is a lack of zinc in your diet; in recent studies, people with 24% less zinc and Vitamin E were more acne prone. Add pumpkin seeds, sesame seeds, quinoa and kidney beans to your salad for extra flavour and texture on top of all those lovely antioxidants.

“It’s not just foods that can make you feel rubbish. Obviously alcohol wreaks havoc on your body (those Freshers’ Week flashbacks don’t need to be mentioned) but the after-effects can last longer than just a hangover”

Instagram: Thewonkyspatula

On the other end of the spectrum, dry or dull skin is often due to a lack of oil. Don’t shy away from foods which are rich in fat and oil because as long as it’s natural it’ll leave your skin glowing, not greasy. Throw some seafood into your diet: I love

It’s not just foods that can make you feel rubbish. Obviously alcohol wreaks havoc on your body (those Freshers’ Week flashbacks don’t need to be mentioned) but the aftereffects can last longer

Instagram: Healthydietflora than just a hangover. Sugary cocktails clog up your pores whilst wine, beer and cider dull your skin tone and contain a scary amount of empty calories. As a consequence, you can wake up feeling incredibly bloated, especially in your lower belly and face. The best solution without missing out on nights out? Clear spirits and fruit juices are your new best friends, so opt for a vodka orange or cranberry instead of coke. In short, eat clean, natural food in conjunction with your daily skin routine to feel healthy and gorgeous. If your problems persist, consult your GP as they are fantastic for helping with lifestyle adjustments and recommending further treatment.

The Courier

beauty.23

Monday 30 November 2015

Skincare saviours

Christina Lau talks us through her fail safe products which will guarantee glowing skin all year round

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kincare becomes notably important in the winter when it’s dry and frosty outside, especially when you want to look fabulous going home for the Christmas holidays.

Irregular changes in temperature from going out in the cold and staying toasty indoors can really break out your skin if you don’t take good care of it; not to mention all that stress from last minute deadlines.

“It’s a creamy solution with very few bits of scrub beads infused with natural almond oil that leaves your skin smooth and extremely hydrated”

Finding the balance in moisturizer is frustrating as too much or too little (resulting in your sebum glands producing more oil) can both lead to breakouts. Here’s a guide on my top 4 miracle facial products for achieving that clear dewiness you want to last the whole holiday season! v

LUSH Cupcake Mask - £6.75

This mask comes in a small handy container which needs to be refrigerated. It smells delicious like chocolate frosting with a hint cocoa butter and

mint; all ingredients used to produce this are 100% natural. The texture is very thick almost like icing, but it doesn’t dry too stiffly. I would highly recommend this for those with oily skin, apply to areas prone to acne or breakouts.

For those with combination skin, only apply to oily areas such as the T-zone. As for dry skin, this product is not recommended as it is very strong and will dry out your skin further so perhaps use carefully, only when having a breakout in certain areas. This mask is deep cleansing and leaves your skin smooth and dries out those annoying little pimples, but the downside is that it can leave your skin a bit dry afterwards therefore you will need to use some moisturizer.

Soap & Glory ‘3 in 1 Daily Detox Vitamin C Facial Wash’ - £8 This facial wash is easily accessible from Boots and comes in a cute plastic bottle. It’s a fruity smelling green gel that foams in use and has lots of little scrub beads to exfoliate leaving your skin fresh and sleek; and the super fruit yuzu is a natural ingredient that helps brighten your complexion. This product works best on oily or combination skin, daily use can help detoxify and purify your skin

from any leftover make up or dirt particles leaving you with fresh and bright skin. v

Nivea ‘Gentle Cleansing Cream Wash’ - £3.15

This facial wash is also easily accessible from your nearest Boots and it comes in a pink squeeze tube. It’s an amazing product for its low price, as Nivea specializes in skin care. It’s a creamy solution with very few bits of scrub beads infused with natural almond oil that leaves your skin smooth

“Finding the balance in moisturizer is frustrating as too much or too little can both lead to breakouts”

and extremely hydrated. This facial wash provides great care in moisturizing and soothing those with dry or sensitive skin and works for combination skin too. It gently cleanses and removes everyday grime, but will not work as a remover of excessive makeup. v Temple Spa ‘Purification Mask’ - £22 For those of you willing to spend extra money on skincare, the Purification mask not only comes in a very fancy jar, but also accurately represents its name. This mud mask is made out of land and marine mud, perfect for unblocking clogged pores and blackheads. The mask is a superb vacuum for all the dirt and oil that gets trapped in your skin.

It sucks out all the impurities and deeply cleanses without drying your skin out leaving it smooth, vibrant and refreshed.

“Finding the balance in moisturizer is frustrating as too much or too little can both lead to breakouts”

Image: Christina Lau

The beauty blender buzz Rebecca Ward questions whether or not the beauty blender is worth the hype and the splurge

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t first I thought the Beauty Blender was just an overly expensive pointy sponge, however after hearing every beauty blogger and YouTuber rave about it I decided to fork out the £16.00 and try it for myself.

I find the best way to use the Beauty Blender is by running it under the tap until it fully expands, squeezing out the excess water and drying it with a towel. Admittedly, this is a bit of a pain when you just want to slap some make up on in 5 minutes but the results are definitely worth it. Using the Beauty Blender damp means that your face gets an extra dose of moisture and it stops your make up from ever looking dry and cakey.

hard work for you.

I’d say that the Beauty Blender gives a medium coverage, even after applying a couple of layers of make up my skin still magically looks like skin!

Sometimes if I’m wanting a more full coverage look I’ll use a buffing brush (try Real Techniques) to apply my foundation first and then I’ll dab the

“This technique makes sure everything is seamlessly blended; it does all the hard work for you” The only problem I’ve really found with the Beauty Blender is that it’s really difficult to clean!

I know that there is a special ‘Blender Cleanser’ but I didn’t fancy paying an extra £15.00 on top of the sponge so I tried good old shampoo, the Real Techniques brush cleanser and even oil but nothing seemed to work! I found this really disappointing because when I bought the Beauty Blender I justified it by telling myself “it’s an investment” but I don’t think I’m going to be able to use it for much longer before it gets unhygienic.

This is unlike a brush, which I know will last me years and wash well, so therefore I don’t think I’ll be replacing my Beauty Blender but it was great whilst it lasted!

“The moisture from the sponge gives your base a glowy, slightly dewy look”

The sponge also works by soaking up any excess makeup so it’s literally impossible to apply too much, which was a problem I used to have when using a buffing brush for my foundation. The pointed tip of the Beauty Blender makes it really easy to apply concealer under the eyes and I find that using a patting motion with the sponge keeps the make up exactly where you want it rather than spreading it out with a brush. I also dab the Beauty Blender over my bronzer and blusher as it takes away any harsh lines. This technique makes sure everything is seamlessly blended; it does all the

damp Beauty Blender over my skin to take away any excess product as to ensure I’m not looking chalky.

The moisture from the sponge gives your base a glowy, slightly dewy look, which I personally really like but if you’re going for a matte finish the Beauty Blender might not be for you.

Instagram: beautyblender

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The dangers of waist trainers

Nathasya Gunawan reveals the hidden darker side to waist trainers

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lot of us understand the struggle to lose weight. You have tried to lower you calorie intake, read nutrition labels to see the ingredients, exercising, and a billion other things that people tell us might help to lose weight. So of course, when people are telling us that there is a new product that can guarantee a slimmer midsection to us in a few weeks without much effort, we are on it.

Waist training. Wearing a corset-like contraption for a certain amount of time everyday to help mold your body into an hourglass. Jessica Alba used this lose her baby weight. Khloe and Kim Kardashian, as well as Kylie Jenner have posted selfies of them wearing them. They have tried this and said that it helped them to be slimmer. Now the question is should you try it? Probably not.

Ever since the craze over waist training starts, various medical expert have stated their concern over the danger of waist training to the users’ health.

For it to be effective, you have to wear a really tight corset. Many medical experts mentioned that the corset can cause harm to the users’ body. The tight corset is putting pressure on your internal organs.

“Wearing these tight corsets will cause you to sweat and it will rub the skin over time” When you wear something too tight, it leaves your stomach, intestine, and colon compressed.

It might result in acid reflux and heartburn and it will also affect your intestines. They are supposed to move food along, but if they are compressed for a long period of time, it will restrain the flow of digestion. Even though this is not permanent damage, it can lead to uncomfortable symptoms like abdominal discomfort or bloating.

Another problem? It will make it hard for you to breathe. When you inhale, your abdomen flares out and your diaphragm expands. But the corset restrains movement, which then causes shallow breathing. The corset also restricts blood flowing back to the heart, which will affect your blood pressure and can cause dizziness or even fainting.

Another concern mentioned is that long-term usage can lower core muscle strength. When you are wearing the shapewear, it acts as the crutch for the body. Your body will not use those muscles and over time, your core strength would decrease due to lack of stimulation.

The corset can also chafe your skin. Wearing these tight corsets will cause you to sweat and it will rub the skin overtime, which can result in irritation or even sometimes produce a rash. The moistness caused by the corset might also result in bacterial growth and can further cause bacterial infections. Another thing that you might experience is tingling or numbness in the legs and thighs since the compression caused can decrease blood circulation.

Experts have said that the corset doesn’t really work anyway. You can’t reduce your body fat just by squeezing them in. Once you stop wearing your corset, all the fat will be back no matter how long you wear them for. So still, the best way to lose weight is still to exercise and eat right.

The Courier

featurebeauty.25

Monday 30 November 2015

Christmas Beauty gift guide

Under £10

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hether you are looking for stocking fillers to go alongside a main present, a cute secret Santa gift, or maybe you are simply looking for purse friendly gifts this year, there are so many great gift ideas available this season. If you are buying for a perfume lover, the Ghost Eclipse Christmas Bauble Gift Set is a really nice choice as it is a beautiful fragrance and is festively packaged. You get 10ml of fragrance which is one third of the smallest main size, which for £5 is excellent value for money. Other decoratively packaged gifts which make opening them all the more exciting come from Topshop, who bring out great festive collections year after year. My personal favourites are the mini lip bullet and nail pyramids which are £5 each, available in different shades so there is something for everyone. My favourite nail shade is in ‘magpie’ which is a gold glitter shade which is perfect for this time of year. For an extra fiver, you can get two lip bullets packaged in a glitter gift box. This is Topshop’s bestselling formula due to its rich pigment and long lasting wear, which makes this an ideal choice for any makeup lover this Christmas.

In keeping with the festively packaged theme, Champneys Cracker Collection is the perfect choice. Available from Boots, this set is excellent value for money as it comes with four body products, each of 50ml, and is only £10. This includes their citrus blush enlivening shower gel and body lotion, their summer dream rewarding shower gel, and their heavenly day relaxing shower gel, which makes this a great option for those who love to set aside time to pamper themselves.

Another popular choice is from Soap and Glory, which always nails it when it comes to gifts. Their bright and bubbly box is perfect for anyone who is already a fan of this iconic range featuring the original pink scent, yet you can’t go wrong with this set for anyone who loves to relax and treat themselves. It comes with four of their bestselling products in mini size, which is also great for travelling. These include the righteous butter body butter, hand food hand cream, clean on me shower gel, the scrub of your life body buffer, and a bonus body polisher, so you really get an array of products to try for just £10. Alternatively, there is a similar set for the same price featuring their sugar crush scent, which is a lot more fruity and sweet.

My final pick is available on Feelunique, and is Liz Earle’s Cleanse and Polish Hot Cloth Cleanser in sweet orange and mint. This is £9 for 50ml of product and the muslin cloth which is great value for money. This is brilliant for someone who is really into skincare, and hot cloth cleansers are really coming into their own at the minute hence this would surely please anyone who enjoys taking care of their skin. This makes the best energizing morning cleanse, as well as a special cleansing treat at the end of the day to remove makeup and leave skin exceptionally clean. For anyone who is already a fan of Liz Earle’s original cleanser, this limited edition Christmas scent is a refreshing alternative as it combines zesty notes of sweet orange oil with the refreshing aroma of crushed peppermint, thus making it the perfect Christmas scent.

With the festive season nearly upon us, our Beauty Editors round up the best beauty buys for all budgets

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“French Connection aren’t lying when they say this set is all you need to create the perfect smoky eye”

The award winning ‘breakfast scrub’ is my personal favourite product; just a small amount applied in circular motions removes dead skin cells, leaving your skin feeling soft and smooth. This product can be used all over the body, but works best on areas of especially dry or rough skin. Follow this by washing away all of the product using a dab of body wash on your body polisher, after you’re done and have dried yourself off, lather yourself in the body buttercream to give your skin that beautiful hydrated glow. Scented with pistachio, almond and vanilla, these products will without a doubt leave

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ot a draw overflowing with cosmetics?

Yes, we all know about what type of girl you are. You never have a bad hair day, a pimple, or a stray eyebrow hair in sight. You always smell amazing and look ridiculously good in every club photo and Facebook profile pic. An obsession over beauty isn’t all that bad. After all, a girl can never have enough eye shadow (or lipstick, or moisturiser, or perfume…you can see where I’m going with this).

It’s that time of year again when Christmas wish lists are being written. High-end beauty products are out of most student’s budgets so Christmas is the perfect time to get your yearly dose of new make-up goodies. Whether you’re looking for a gift to you, from you, or something for someone else; tis the season to get shopping! Making it onto my Christmas list this year:

“No matter how much you ask Santa to turn Newcastle’s grey skies into sunshine it just isn’t happen”

£10-£20

f you’re trying not to spend too much this Christmas, sticking to a budget of £10-£20 per gift is enough to get your hands on some brilliant beauty goodies without giving your overdraft too much of a bashing. Soap and Glory have always been one of my favourite brands for gift sets; their large variety teamed with adorable packaging makes this brand incredibly popular year after year.

This year, they’ve delved head first into the festive season with a bauble shaped gift set; ‘Belle of the Ball’ is an absolute bargain, containing the ‘SMOOTHIE STAR’ range including body wash, ‘breakfast scrub’ body smoother, hand food hand cream, body buttercream and a pink shower body polisher to scrub it all on with. Each mini product takes you one step closer to revived, glowing skin, especially required during these cold winter months.

Over £20

“Each mini product takes you one step closer to revived, glowing skin, especially required during these cold winter months” you looking and smelling beautiful t h i s Christmas.

If we’re talking value for money, you really can’t get much better than this next gift set. French Connection have really come through this year with some sleek and stylish sets, containing some really gorgeous products. Their ‘Dark and Shady’ set is no exception to this, containing no less than 10 great products for a mere £18.

French Connection aren’t lying when they say this set is all you need to create the perfect smoky eye, from tweezers and primers, to eye shadow sticks and lash curlers, this set really does take you from start to finish when it comes to perfecting this classic eye look.

The metallic eye shadow sticks are not only sexy and sultry but give that extra bit of shimmer to play around with over the Christmas period. The quad shadow palette is a bit more laid back, containing some really staple shades, not just for a smoky eye but for an everyday look too, making this a great addition to your make up bag and definitely one to pack in you ever need to travel light.

“Their bright and bubbly box is perfect for anyone who is already a fan of this iconic range featuring the original pink scent”

The only downside being that it only contains one of those useless, tiny sponge applicators that are essentially a waste of space, brushes will have to be provided yourself sadly. Over all, it’s an absolute steal for the amount you’re getting for your money, it really is one of the best gift sets on the market this Christmas.

1. MAC always do amazing Christmas collections, and this year is no exception. Coming in at £45.00, The Enchanted Eve Brush Kit/Essentials is my ultimate Christmas pick. It includes 5 mac brushes: 168 Large Angled Contour Brush, 133 Small Cheek Brush, 221 Mini Tapered Blending Brush, 239 Eye Shading Brush, 219 Pencil Brush and a matching clutch to keep them in. If this is something you’re interested in then get your perfectly manicured nails at the ready as you may need to fight for this beautiful collection; get in there quick before they sell out.

2.No matter how much you ask Santa to turn Newcastle’s grey skies into sunshine it just isn’t happen.

So, with no heatwave over the horizon the struggle of pale legs is set to continue. One thing to add to your wish list is St. Tropez Perfect Glow (£30.00 from Boots). You’ll keep people guessing about where you holidayed over Christmas when really that golden tan is from a bottle.

3. If you’ve had a stressful year, treat yourself to a Christmas facial. Sanctuary Spa Winter Facial in a Box will set you back £30.00, probably less than you’d pay in any spa and you have the added bonus of being able to do it in your pyjamas while watching some Christmas re-run of Home Alone 2.

Whether you’ve been naughty or nice this year, everyone deserves a little beauty in there stockings this Christmas.

Molly Harris

26.arts

Monday 30 November 2015

The Courier

Arts Editors: Holly Suttle, Emily Watton & Jade Holroyd

Sophie’s World Book Review by Imogen Scott-Chambers

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erhaps the single quote “Wisest is she who knows, she does not know” taken from Sophie’s World by Jostein Gaarder, mirrors the profundity of the whole novel. Sophie’s World is both a literary and philosophical masterpiece, it intertwines theory, fact, imagery and honesty seamlessly to produce a page turner appropriate for people of all ages, and for people with different levels of philosophical skill.

The book begins with the main character, Sophie Amundsen, a 14 year old Norwegian girl, receiving two letters and a post card addressed to someone else: Hilde Møller Knag and in true Alice in Wonderland style, she is curious to discover who Hilde really is, and so is the reader.

“The story is also host to many different these such as the nature of free will, religion and the importance of dreams”

Shortly after this, she receives a package of philosophical papers; they are part of a course in Philosophy. The philosophy intrigues and enthralls her (as it would anyone) and she receives daily, sometimes weekly, questions and then explanations on certain types of philosophy. At first she is unsure as to whom exactly is corresponding with her, but in time it transpires that it is a wise and knowledgeable philosopher named Alberto Knox.

The book is a bildungsroman in many respects; Sophie grows through her philosophical teaching and her relationship with Alberto. In the beginning of the novel she has an astute air of innocence but as the reader grows philosophically along with her, she is becoming more mature and wise in each chapter. The story is also host to many different these such as the nature of free will, religion and the importance of dreams which makes the book constantly engaging rather than a book to read to pass the time, it is totally engrossing.

The characters develop well and are lovable, especially Sophie who is relatable in her struggling to tackle difficult concepts and be a 14-year-old girl at the same time. Sophie’s mother is also a successful character in the book, we all know someone like her. Alberto Knox’s role as a teacher is interesting, he seems reminiscent of Dumbledore in the Harry Potter series, wise but not condescending and he plays a significant role throughout. One slight issue with the novel is the ending. The ending may leave some readers unsatisfied, and it is interesting to consider different endings in place of the one chosen by Gaarder. In some ways it doesn’t reflect the beauty of the rest of the story.

“Everyone should question everything, and you should never surrender the fight for true knowledge”

The book is exceptionally clever in that, not only is it a story within a story (slight spoiler alert) but it takes the reader through a brief, accurate and succinct history of philosophy. For anyone who hasn’t studied philosophy it will give you the basic core philosophical theories that will probably intrigue you enough to read more. For anyone who has studied philosophy, it will refresh your memory and reignite your passion for questioning the world around you. The boldest and best message embedded in the novel is that: everyone can be a philosopher, everyone should question everything and you should never surrender the fight for true knowledge.

We love album artwork 2.

Ritwik Sarkar gives us the low-down on his all-time favourite 3 album covers

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alt-J:

An Awesome Wave

he progressive artists are well known for their unique style that can only be described as both wacky and wonderful.

Blending Asian influences, progressive rock and techno elements, the Leeds based group let their album art be representative of the same stylization.

On first glance, ‘An Awesome Wave’ seems nothing more than flashes of dry pastel on granite stone. However, the image is actually a geographical landmark, the world’s largest meeting of riversThe Ganga-Brahmaputra delta.

Representing the southern half of Bangladesh, the cover uses a unique blend of contrasts to bring to life an already vibrant landscape.

The iridescent colours show different radiations given by the river, giving the album cover a political message, and a unique edge over the artwork of the band’s competitors.

The lack of text is also notable, as the complete absence of any writing lets it stick out as art, rather than being the representation of a collection of music. This aspect of the cover is also indicative of the bands identity – Staying out of the spotlight, making something the world hasn’t listened to, and keeping their content fun, unexpected, letting the music speak louder that anything else.

Rage Against The Machine:

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Rage Against The Machine

othing quite sells the word ‘protest’ like a man on fire in the middle of the street.

Rage Against the machine’s, self-titled album’s cover has become as eponymous as the band itself, an art piece ingrained into 21st century musical folklore.

Essentially, it is a stylization of the self-immolation of Buddhist monk, Thích Quảng Đức. The Vietnamese monk burned himself in the middle of a crowded street in Saigon, to protest against the persecution of Buddhist monks by the South Vietnamese government.

A political statement at heart, the cover symbolizes everything that people have grown to love about the pioneering alternative rockers.

Although graphic and striking, the morphing of the image into green and black takes away some of the sting off of the original orange flame, the composition itself is still captivating. The tonal contrasts evoke more of a cold flame, presenting the image too look more like the soul being sucked out of a man, rather than a man on fire.

The composition is eloquently underscored by the title of the band, also the album, in simple courier font on the top of the album, symbolizing a quiet rage that’s ready to explode.

3.

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Dream Theatre:

Metropolis 2: Scenes from a memory

erhaps one of the most underrated acts of the 21st century, Dream Theatre always produce the quality art in all fields of performance and their album covers, are no exception.

Much like ‘Falling into Infinity’ and ‘Train of Thought’, Scenes from a memory captures the essence of the bands’ songs within the album. Following a much-used art of combining random images to create a larger one, the progressive rockers have merged the random into something more refined.

Using images from their childhood, as well as those from previous albums, the band creates a mix of photographs is creepy and suits the album theme of ‘memory’ well. The use of a single colour is quite prominent as it brings together the larger image of a man’s face, without obscuring the smaller images that comprise it.

The images seem to evoke emotions of wonder, fear, excitement as well as inquisition, making this simple album cover, a real piece of art.

The complexities in the images are apt reflections of the music. Often quite technical, sometimes random, Dream Theatre’s music always brings together the creative and confounding in a manner that is utterly beautiful to listen.

Cheeky Chapbooks in Special Collections

Melissa Wear “pockets an understanding of society” when she interviews Dr. Melanie Wood, Archives librarian, in our Robinson Library’s Special Collections

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n basic explanation, a chapbook is a small pamphlet telling tales, histories, ballads, rhymes and songs. The subjects ranged from Jamie Telpher, a Scottish piper, to a “lovesick Collier lass”. William Wordsworth describes the experience of a typically large family in We Are Seven. These were widely distributed in the eighteenth century by pedlars. In reality, a great amount of beauty can be weaned from chapbooks about the intrinsic qualities of ordinary eighteenth century living: how books were enjoyed, by those who created them, collected them, and read them.

Simply a few pages long, unbound, and joint with a simple running stitch, these issues give a much more authentic indication of the period.

Instead of the English lesson culture of being told which literary giants you should admire, I get to hold the distressed paper that, with its local stories, teaches more about popular consumption. I feel the sense of pocketing my 1-penny purchase and heading down to the ship docks. There are a lot of stories about ships.

“Newcastle was the biggest centre of printing outside London”

What makes the collection exciting is that Newcastle was the biggest centre of printing outside London. Of course, Newcastle’s collection of chapbooks is not as large as that of the V&A, the British library or the Bodleian, and the collection is not staffed heavily enough to allow for research on the material. Where it is strong is with a focus on place on place of printing. We boast a more

intense collection of North East publications. We gain this upon our southern counterparts because, geographically, they have a higher concentration of special collection depositories.

“White chapbooks are particularly rare across the country”

The specific focus of our meeting is the Joseph Crawhall and the Robert White material. White chapbooks are particularly rare across the country and, as nineteenth century publications, they are striking against their contemporaries. Originals were published mostly in the 1850s so the nineteenth century steered more in the direction of collectors who selected a series of pamphlets and bound them. The great variety of binding (of different leathers, textiles, papers, metalwork) reveals the personal taste of the collector. This is a direct influence of the hand-press era. Robert White has categorised some of his series as printed in Glasgow, Stirling, or Falkirk.

Joseph Crawhall’s chapbook is more notional. He uses more expensive paper than the typical recycled-tissue-like handmade pages. There are multiple illustrations. Eighteenth century printers used stock woodcuts to create prints that reappear in different tales, giving a charming disjointedness between the text and the images. These also wear with use.

Instead, Crawhall designs his own prints to fit elegantly with the text. His images are crisp and modern but take on the

style of 17th and 18th century woodcuts. Some are even hand coloured. The result is humorous and fun imbues the illustrations and text.

I am left carefully cradling these fragile pages, stroking the tactile letterpress, and enjoying the wealth of free desks in the Special Collections reading room. I become absorbed in the Geordie dialect of “Canny Newcassel”, sympathising with a man who visited London and was shown the Thames by “a Cockney chap”. He responds to this “the pride o’ the Nation” with scepticism and then boldly confirms, “Wi’hus, muun, three hundred ships fail iva tide.” After some more stories of ships, I read my fortune using astrologer Thomas Doveran’s guide, “Love’s True Oracle” and learn that I will die by the water for love. I started to feel seasick in the basement and make an escape back to the twenty-first century.

The Courier

arts.27

Monday 30 November 2015

Lights... camera... costume!

thecourieronline.co.uk/arts c2.arts@ncl.ac.uk | @CourierArts

Flash Fiction

Miranda Stoner interviews costume manager Eve Kershaw to discover the nips and tucks within the amazing NUTS production of Little Shop of Horrors

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eing a costume designer is no easy task, not only do you need to take into account the script but the director’s vision and the actor’s preferences are also important. Third year art student Eve Kershaw has spent six weeks of hard work on the costumes for the NUTS production of Little Shop of Horrors. She explains her process to reach the finished performance we see on stage.

First she reads through the script searching particularly for stage directions which give clear costume instructions, but also picking out themes to inspire costume choices. Then she attends the script’s read through where actors are measured.

Costume sourcing begins immediately, for Little Shop of Horrors characters include the elegantly dressed Audrey, Seymour (an adorable shop assistant) and Orin Scrivello (a biker dentist). Each of which presents their own challenges for the costume designer.

The film was used as a reference point to inspire many of the costumes. This is particularly clear with the character of Seymour, who dressed in beige trousers, a diamond vest, long sleeved shirt, tie and thick lens-less glasses could have walked straight out of the film set.

“Process to reach the finished performance we see on stage ”

Kershaw believes it’s important for the costumes to reflect the personality of the character wearing them. Seymour shows this by retaining the same outfit throughout whilst the rest of the cast become ever more glamorous, in order to show his rejection of material goods. Audrey’s costume also subtly reflects her character as her elegant black dress is paired with leopard print scarves and shoes instead of floral prints to imply a lower status past.

Amande Concerts: Swan Lake

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ast Wednesday night the Russian State Ballet and Opera House staged their latest version of the magical Swan Lake at Tyne Theatre and Opera House.

Swan Lake was composed from 1875-6 by Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky, one of the most famous composers of the time. Although slated after its premiere, Swan Lake went on to become one of the most well-known ballets in the world. It tells the story of Prince Siegfried stumbles upon a swan ballet and falls in love with Odette. Promising that he will declare his love for her, he leaves, though the evil sorcerer Rothbart has come up with a plan in order to keep Odette in his ballet. One case of mistaken identity later, and the Prince pledges his love to the wrong doppelganger. Tragedy follows, and the Prince and Odette finish by disappearing into the Lake forever. Yes, it’s sad, but also very beautiful with its fairy-tale qualities.

The overall performance of the ballet was fantastic, and the ability and control that the ballet dancers have over their bodies never ceases to amaze me. However, to start, some of the dancers were out of time to the music, something which was a bit of a disappointment, but the rest of the performance was incredible. The amount of work to achieve such perfection is just mind-blowing.

One of the parts I enjoyed the most had to be the ball scene at the start of Act II, princesses from different countries come to dance before the prince in the attempt to win him over. Varying styles of dance were incorporated into the ballet – including flamenco – and who knew that that could work so well!

No piece about Swan Lake would be complete without mentioning the music. The Russian State Symphony Orchestra of Astrakhan were honestly outstanding. Tchaikovsky’s iconic Swan Lake music performed live is simply amazing. Even if you’re sure you don’t know it, you’re wrong, and you would be humming along in time with the rest of us.

Katie Read

Audrey is particularly challenging to dress, as her heels can’t be high, less they cause accidents or discomfort. The script also calls for a quick change. Eve’s advice on a successful quick change in the theatre is to choose clothes with Velcro or in this case slip on, instead of zips or more complicated fastenings. This is one of the testing elements of the theatre, however Kershaw assures us of the advantages of the theatre over film, such as the clothes do not to be constructed well because there are no close ups. They do, however, need to be easily fixable as split seams and popped buttons are everyday realities of the theatre.

much gravity for the second costume, where each girl wore a sequined dress, the shape of which they had chosen. The result is spectacular and formulates Kershaw’s favourite part of the job - seeing everything come together on the stage. It’s definitely true to say that a play would not be as good without the costumes.

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h, fucking fantastic! My home has been opened by a wanton wretch again. No, not ‘opened’, invaded is more like it. The light from my front door floods in. I hate light. Day light, electric light, candle light, they can all go to Hell.

The mask before me is now visible, features painted on with at least an inch of makeup.

God she must be ugly if that’s an improvement. My brothers sit in rows around me, like a conscripted fucking army, and I’m the mug on the front line. A large paw gropes my side with owls stamped on each talon and I am lifted into the air. He puts me upon a pretty attractive looking piece – upside down I might add.

“The film was used as a reference point to inspire many of the costumes”

For Little Shop of Horrors the costumes come from a range of sources - the favourites being Primark, eBay and charity shops – which also includes items from the actors own wardrobes. For this performance the six chorus girls are dressed in long blue and green dresses sourced from eBay. Kershaw would have had these all emerald green to tie in with the play’s plant theme but due to stock issues was forced to choose three blue and three green dresses. Another problem was budget which at £100 is limiting, otherwise Kershaw would have liked an underskirt to give the dresses more shape. Hair and skin colour of the actors are also important factors in the dress choice. The actor’s preference held

NUTS: Little Shop of Horrors

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knew very little about the story-line of Little Shop of Horrors before I went to watch it last Friday night, other than being vaguely aware it contained a carnivorous plant. I knew very little about Mr Mushniks florist shop on Skid Row where the flower is supposedly created by the charming yet socially awkward Seymour Krelborn, who is hopelessly in love with his co-worker Audrey. I think it worked in my favour that I knew very little about the musical before seeing it: it meant I could fully appreciate and enjoy the wonderful twists and turns of the story-lines combined with sassy, satirical and soulful songs.

It is fair to say that with this eccentric plot meeting a realist setting, Little Shop of Horrors is not your average musical. It is also fair to say that Newcastle University Theatre’s Society (NUTS) did this unique story justice.

NUTS costumes and set design particularly outshone themselves in this performance. They cleverly used the stage to create the setting of Skid Row and the Audrey II and how they used the plant throughout the play, was also particularly striking.

The cast matched the strong setting with good performances from the three main leads, (Oliver Warren as Seymour, Amber Cox as Audrey and Theo Harris as Mushnik). All of their performances were also supported by an energetic cast. In my opinion, the most exceptional performance was Ross Easton as Orin. His rendition of ‘Dentist’ was one of the funniest moments in the play. He also successfully balanced the line between being Audrey’s villainous boyfriend, whilst still being incredibly humorous. Unfortunately, there were some sound difficulties at times which did damage my enjoyment of the musical at moments. These technical difficulties did impede my understanding at points. However, ultimately these difficulties were few and far between. Little Shop of Horrors is the second NUTS musical I have seen and like the first, it did not disappoint. I would strongly recommend going to a NUTS production if you haven’t yet!

Lydia McNeillie

A Cup of Tea at Quilliam Brothers

by Emily Watton

“The heavy thud rattles me.

Poor bloke has been a veteran of these events”

NCLA:

Marilyn Hacker talk

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mbarrassingly, I had not read or even heard of Marilyn Hacker’s work before - and for that I am ashamed. Marilyn Hacker is an intensely intelligent, kind, passionate human being - her work is fluid, beautiful and (most importantly) refreshingly, brutally truthful.

At 72 years old, Hacker is an American poet, translator, critic and retired professor, dividing her time between New York and Paris. Her work is political, personal and unavoidably intimate. Hacker cut to the chase from the moment she got on stage - announcing that she had in fact been in Paris last weekend (Friday 13th), only been a few streets away from the terror.

From there, Hacker appropriately opened with several poems about the city of Paris. Intelligent, lyrical, strong and necessary words. I think what was prominent throughout the evening, and throughout her work is that although some of the subject matter is difficult (although timeless); ultimately kindness prevails - she has so much love.

She spoke of solidarity, support and admiration of her fellow female writers - particularly for Adrienne Rich, in which Hacker declared: ‘She was our conscience, but she died too early.’ This solidarity and appreciation, rather than competitive rivalry I think remains an inspiration as well as a reminder of how we should be treating our colleagues within these creative industries. Love, support, encourage and respect.

Character burst from the pages, the excitement and passion was enchanting, infectious. Time slipped away. She speaks deeper than simply from the heart; it comes from the pit of her stomach, rising through her whole body as her lungs project such passion and truthfulness. Such human descriptions; appreciative of people, of life, of the wonderful ordinariness and extraordinary of the mundane. Joy, peace, uncertainty and sadness rolled off her tongue, off her lips with secret smiles.

My sister turned to me after the applause died down, in awe: “I think I’ve found my new favourite person.”

Tamsin Rees

Hello, Darling… Look, we match. I would be more nonchalant but the sudden motion and being upside down has given me vertigo, which has understandably thrown me off my game. The bastard could at least be careful.

A teapot is set beside us. The heavy thud rattles me. Poor bloke has been a veteran of these events. The chip on his spout is nothing compared to the chip on his shoulder. He can leave off looking at my girl, though. Wanker. As a group we are lifted and judder with each of the lummox’s footfalls. I try to brace myself for landing, but there’s not much you can do when you’re standing on your fucking head. The same meaty paw lifts up my new girlfriend with me on top of her, along with my cousin, and once again sets us down. This time in front of some tosser with glasses too big for his face. At least, they’re not non-prescription lenses, I can tell because he’s needing them to cop a view down the girl’s jumper one table away. A man after my own heart after all, perhaps. A face of an innocent and a taste for the pleasurable.

At least our new captor has the common decency to right me up on my feet. My heavy cousin’s head is pulled off, his contents examined and inhaled. Disgusting perverted sadist. I bet he’s doing it only for the waiter. I bet you on a date with that slut on the next table, he would only know something was wrong with his pot of oolong if there was a dog shit inside instead. Our bully has now graciously replaced the poor sod’s head back on and is tipping him, spilling his burning contents in my direction. I shudder. He probably doesn’t even notice, or thinks it is just someone kicking his table. Blind fucker. The tidal wave of scalding bitter nastiness is poured into me. Oooh, you son of a bitch, I hate this part. If I had teeth I’d grit them. My discomfort distracts me as I am brought towards his stupid puffed up lips. Ew, he has a pubescent beard. I hate hipsters. They can go fuck themselves and enjoy their weirdness elsewhere.

‘Ow!’ The fucker bellows at me.

“He would only know something was wrong with his pot of oolong if there was a dog shit inside instead”

His shout echoes through my chest. I’m deafened. Isn’t that just the last straw for discourteous behaviour? Yelling at somebody who is just inches from your mouth. Honestly.

He has released me.

Well, this is a new experience. Maybe, I’m finally free of these knit-coat wearing wankers forever.

Hang on, shit! Too close to the floor! Pull up, pull up!

28.music

Monday 30 November 2015

The Courier

Music Editors: Jamie Shepherd, Dominique Daly & Connor McDonnell

Living La Vida Local

Music Editor Connor McDonnell picks his favourite local talent this week for your reading pleasure Intimate venues such as Cluny, THINK TANK? and Head of Steam lend themselves to local acts around the calendar. But, with this supply must come the reciprocated demand. People are too caught up on the notion that the majority of local bands will be one-and-the-same and avoid any names that they are not familiar with, or that big-named music publications have recommended. I am bored of this reserved, safe-zone approach to discovering new artists. Get out there and see something you have never heard of.

Them Things

The line-up of Them Things includes Louis Adams, Ilya Tarnopolskiy, Tom Ungerer and Jack Golightly. It is a mix of British, French and Russian personalities together. The music from their Good Weird EP, from 2014 is driven dream-pop, with spangled guitars, littered with effects, bends and tremolos, but ‘Astronauts’ from earlier this year is sludgy and soaked with shattering riffs behind a boastful, bawling voice.

Earlier in November, the band played a gig at Tynemouth’s Surf Café, handing out free ‘zines and exclusive badges to celebrate the release of their single ‘Mythomania’. This new release has promised to further the stomp of the band’s direction. Them Things are doing a circuit of gigs around Newcastle, in the middle of December, and it would be well worth your time to be at one of these shows.

Goy Boy McIlroy Goy Boy McIlroy are a Darlington-based, four-

piece that can only be described as goth-rock revival. I’m not talking the chewy Gary Numan, Depeche Mode (etc.) goth shit. I mean receding to the dark foundations of Bauhaus goth-rock, with David Saunders, vocalist/self-proclaimed ‘crooner’, sounding shamelessly like Peter Murphy. The band used to have the title Goy Boy McIlroy and the Skirny Pearldivers, after the ‘ragamuffins’ that used to take the golf balls out a lake in Darlington and sell them back to golfing fans. They dropped the latter half of the title because they decided it was a bit verbose.

On their most recent EP Duell, Goy Boy McIlroy are boastfully confident. The first two tracks ‘Life B’ and ‘Wicker Bed’ sound otherworldly, while ‘Pleasure’ is sluiced with operatic elements; the undertones of rich strings recalls Godspeed You! Black Emperor. Finally comes ‘Hyde (Auld Screamy)’, the personal favourite. Manic yelling (perhaps ‘Auld Screamy’?) introduces the song, before krautrock drumming and shattering bass line.

The last third of the song is graced with a pulverising guitar solo, comparable to the hard garage rock of Royal Blood. Goy Boy McIlroy offer something fascinatingly different.

Razmataz Lorry Excitement

The eccentrically named artist is a one man show who owns a cumbersome amount of electronic equipment and is actually called Kev Dosdale. I saw Razmataz Lorry Excitement support Sunderland’s wacky-rockers SLUG, who are fronted by former Field Music man Ian Black. Arguably, he put on a better show than the headline act themselves.

NARC. Magazine courteously hosted his album launch show at our very own Northern Stage back in July. The album is titled Without, and is a stunning debut for the electronic artist. Kev understands the structure of an album as a unity, rather than the popular release of singles taken from an album, which is especially important to electronic music’s ability to smoothly transits. So, the album could be seen as one long 47 minute track.

Unlike so many electronic artists, you can tell Razmataz Lorry Outfit is an assembly of passion, exploration and a diverse understanding of the field that Kev Dosdale has dedicated his life to.

Be sure to follow us on Spotify so you can have a little listen to local music and more at - https:// play.spotify.com/user/thecourierdoesmusic

I started something I couldn’t finish In the wake of Morrissey’s award-winningly awful sex-scene novel, List of the Lost, Ava Forbes examines some of the other musicians who have traded the guitar for the pen

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orrissey’s step into the world of fiction has left him somewhat red faced as it was revealed this week it was revealed that his debut novel, List of the Lost, is the frontrunner for Literary Review’s ‘Bad Sex In Fiction’ award. After weeks of criticism since its release in late September, the novel is considered to be a flop and a disappointment, with sales driven by fans wanting to laugh at his self-indulgent style of writing. One Guardian critic described the book as an “unpolished turd” which will no doubt be something that is hard for the iconic lyricist to stomach. Of course, Morrissey isn’t the only acclaimed musician to attempt in becoming an author…

Many musicians fall into the trap of being self indulgent. In 2003, Madonna released a children’s book, The English Roses, after her kabbala teacher suggested that she impart some of her wisdom and teach us all what we already knew from every other cliched children’s book - not to judge people on their appearances. As you would expect the book is a patronising, Paltrow-esque bid to play the “yummy mummy”. The main character Binah (which means understanding in Hebrew) becomes the subject of great envy from a group of girls called ‘The English Roses’ because she is prettier than them. After Binah’s fairy godmother shows the girls that she is actually very poor, they take sympathy, become her friend and they all live happily ever after.

“I wish that the novel wasn’t a 128 page, self indulgence bore”

Geri Halliwell also followed this trend with her Ugenia Lavender series which follows the adventures of Ugenia (who is based on Halliwell as a child) and her adventures with her friends Bronte, Rudy and Trevor.

Going from the incredibly irritating to the bizarre, we find Iron Maiden’s Bruce Dickinson and

his novel The Adventures of Lord Iffy Boatrace described by Kerrang to be “a satirical swipe at fetishism among the upper classes”. According to Dickinson, the publishers of the book decided to print it without reading it due to Iron Maiden’s successful album sales. The book is a classic amongst fans and sold 40,000 copies when it was released.

Courtney Love released a manga series called Princess Ai who is from the imaginatively named ‘Ai Land’ which is riddled with war and how she somehow finds her way to Tokyo. Reviews have branded Love’s endeavours as boring, suggesting the only thing that kept them reading were the pictures.

more music, List Of The Lost has left a bitter taste in many mouths.

“The novel is considered by many to be a flop and a disappointment with sales mainly driven by fans wanting to laugh at his self indulgent style of writing”

Of course, there are some musicians that have produced some fantastic examples of prose. Nick Cave’s And The Ass Saw The Angel (1989) and The Death of Bunny Munro (2009) have received praise from fans and critics and has seen him go into filmmaking. Leonard Cohen’s 1966 Beautiful Losers is described by the Telegraph to be “one of the best-known experimental novels of the 1960s”.

Patti Smith’s memoir Just Kids published in 2010, which follows her relationship with Robert Mapplethorpe, has won numerous literary awards and is currently being turned into a TV series.

When it comes to musicians turning to writing, you are going to get a mixed bag. As a big Morrissey fan, I wish that the novel wasn’t a 128 page, self indulgence bore. Considering he has hinted that he is no longer going to tour or release any

Documentary Review: Hudson Mohawke ‘Very First Breath’

Delving into uncharted waters, Scott Trotter takes on the aptly named Noisey-commissioned expose on Hudson Mohawke which heavily features his mam. Nothing says hip-hop more than a maternal figure right?

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sually a hip hop documentary is based upon conflict and controversy, cussing and conspiracy but Noisey (Vice’s music channel) brings a more British approach. Less gangs and guns, more staying inside when it’s raining to make beats that celebrate the career of Hudson Mohawke so far. Whilst not the typical rapper-centric documentary of the genre, we are given insight into the world of DJing, production and partying that the Glasgow native has encountered.

Very First Breath documents the rise of Hudson Mohawke; from Sub City Radio (Glasgow University) presenter, to DMC championship scratching entrant to collaborating with the likes of Kanye before culminating in a hometown gig for just a fiver.

Coming in at less than thirty minutes in length, we are taken on a whistle stop tour of this adventure.

Though each stop may be brief the film exhibits depth in the experiences it shows. The fact that Hudmo and friends used Sub City Radio as a vehicle for launching parties and with it their own careers, helps to express an entrepreneurial DIY approach. This is compacted by Hudmo’s beginnings in production, utilising Music 2000 on the original PlayStation before being picked up by Warp Records that will launch a nostalgia fest for many. All of this alongside goofier snippets such as his dad’s American Football music release ‘Diamond Rap’ (it really couldn’t sound more 80s if it tried), leads to a light hearted tour.

The documentary musically characterises HudMo well. By avoiding voice over narration and formal talking heads style interviews, the film manages to flow with natural conversations and phone calls that mesh with musically charged transition

scenes. Virgin Abloh, an associate of Kanye, sums it up well “his personality isn’t as loud as his music is, the sound speaks for itself ”. Indeed we find a very relaxed demeanour that in many ways is distinct from his musical style. Nevertheless we are given a sense of the calculation that goes into his production and how natural the relationship appears. A new sound from roots planted in vinyl seems to be what Hudmo is about.

“Having never heard of Hudson Mohawke before, I never felt out of place as the documentary effortlessly contextualised his position in music... it inspired me to listen to his music”

At one point in the film it is noted that “Glasgow is very good at keeping your feet on the ground” and this seems to be the premise of the film; how down to Earth HudMo remains. While it does appear true from what we see, clichéd sequences of looking through old photographs and visiting old haunts with friends labours the point. As if to constantly reinforce the point, the documentary repeatedly turns to interactions with Hudmo’s mother and to be honest lays it on a bit thick.

However, Very First Breath remains an enjoyable and fluent watch that succeeds. Having never heard of Hudson Mohawke before, I never felt out of place as the documentary effortlessly contextualised his position in music, featuring cameo voice appearances from the likes of Mark Ronson, Virgin Abloh and Hudmo’s collaborator for TNGHT, Lunice. In fact the documentary inspired me to listen to his music. While limited in time and in the point it makes, Very First Breath is a genuinely interesting film. It will perhaps be lacking something for those well versed in Hudmo’s development but it operates very well as promotional piece. An extra thirty minutes would have gone down a treat.

The Courier

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Monday 30 November 2015

thecourieronline.co.uk/music c2.music@ncl.ac.uk | @courier_music

Album Review: Purpose

Electronic Blanket

Justin Bieber

Sophie Ahmed on Dubai’s music conference and a stunning, electronic OST

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hat a difference time can make! After glad he did. the failure of 2013’s Journals, his arrest Justin then transforms from hurting introspecin Miami in 2014 and the consequent tive into an RnB figure as rappers Big Sean, Nas smuggest mug shot of all time, many believed and Travi$ Scott feature in ‘No Pressure’, ‘We Are’ Justin would fizzle away. With his new album, and ‘No Sense’ respectively. Whilst they aren’t the Bieber has made the unlikeliest of comebacks album’s most eye-catching tracks, they emphaand become (whisper it) socially acceptable?! sise Bieber’s growing versatility. Tracks such as Purpose is Bieber completing his reinvention ‘Been You’, ‘Get Used To It’ as well as ‘Company’ from angst-fuelled teen into self-aware adult. and ‘Children’ are future Digi Monday tracks in Whilst the idea of Bieber becoming a disciple of the making, with highly contagious choruses that God, as his pretentious album cover suggests, is demonstrate the strength in depth of Purpose. far-fetched and comical, recognition and forgive- Bieber’s other albums severely lacked this urgenness are central themes throughout the album. cy. Accompanying these catchy tunes are Justin’s This vulnerability is illustrated from the beginning more emotional tracks, on the second half of the as ‘Mark My Words’ and ‘I’ll Show You’ present a album. The song ‘Purpose’ is the epicentre, as Biereflective Bieber pining “my ber claims he’s reached some life is a movie and everyone’s form of religious higher plane “Whilst the idea of Bieber watching”. of thought as he preaches ‘give becoming a disciple of As interesting as Justin findall you got’ as ‘if it ends up hapGod is far-fetched and ing inner peace, Purpose is at pening, it ends up happening.’ comical, recognition and its best with its massive club I’m sure would make Martin hits: ‘What Do You Mean?’, forgiveness are central themes Luther King himself proud.

‘Sorry’ and ‘Where R Ü Now?’.

Slower tracks such as ‘Trust’, throughout” ‘What Do You Mean?’ rocketed ‘All In It’, ‘Life Is Worth Living’ straight to the top of the Billboard Hot 100, in spite and ‘The Feeling’ - the latter of which involves the of some ‘Blurred Lines’-style, risqué lyrics – ‘When hotly tipped Halsey - help show Justin’s supposed you don’t want me to move but you tell me to go’. internal strife.

The album’s highlight is ‘Sorry’: the perfect shamePurpose’s Deluxe Edition (which you’ve natuless shower-jam. Skrillex and Diplo get involved in rally chosen over the standard edition) features an ‘Where R Ü Now?’ which you’d have had to have acoustic version of ‘What Do You Mean?’ which is been under a rock for the past 10 months to have equally as catchy as the original. Begrudgingly, Biemissed. Bieber has collaborated with numerous A- ber has managed to win many people over (includList names - including Kanye West in an advisory ing myself) with Purpose as it is unquestionably role - to help create the potentially career-defining his best album to date. Best pop album this year? It Purpose. ‘Love Yourself ’ sees Ed Sheeran’s un- easily triumphs over Adele or One Direction’s latmistakeable influence as Justin sings “I didn’t wan- est mundane efforts so I’d say so. For that, I’m not na write a song / ‘cos I didn’t want anyone thinking even sorry.

I still care or don’t” but leaves you most certainly Ben Grundy

W More than this

Taylor Swift - 1989 Taylor Swift’s output up until this point lended itself heavily to the country genre. Although she was by no means unpopular, she wasn’t a true pop artist. With 1989 Taylor Swift released the album that everyone could get into. Even these crusty guitar loving music editors here at The Courier HQ...

Michael Jackson - Off The Wall Both were child stars who shedded their angelic images to become sex objects. Where Michael was thrusting and sweating as he danced, Bieber was thrusting and getting his arse and penis out on the internet. Both are guilty of releasing unadulterated dance floor bangers. Where MJ’s release channeled the disco zeitgeist, Bieber’s release collaborates with dubstep producer Skrillex who gets where shit doesn’t these days.

Amen, finally a break

The Amen Break Beat is probably the most unrecognised recognisable sample in the history of music. Deputy Editor Mark Sleightholm takes a trip down memory lane to consider why the latest big break for the producers of this sample is one of the most important pay cheques of 2015

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he Winstons may not be considered among the all-time greats, even in the funk and soul world to which they belonged. But six seconds of a b-side from 1969 has made them one of the most significant acts in the history of music. Known as the “Amen break”, one small sample became the basis of early hip-hop and drum and bass and has appeared in literally hundreds of songs. And only now, after nearly thirty years of ubiquity, has anyone from The Winstons been paid for it.

“As well as featuring heavily in eighties hip-hop, the Amen break crossed the Atlantic and dominated the jungle scene of the early nineties, which gave way to the drum and bass we know today” The Winstons won a Grammy for their 1969 single, “Color Him Father”, a pretty decent song that has since faded into obscurity. But it is the B-side to that single, “Amen, Brother”, that has had the biggest impact on the music world, all because of a six second drum solo that was rediscovered in the 1980s, when new technology allowed easy recording and copying of sounds.

Unlike today’s myriad of copyright laws and sampling restrictions, in the 1980s the technique of sampling was so new and so niche that there was a definite “anything goes” attitude, and the break littered the early New York hip-hop scene. By the nineties the music industry had changed and hip-

hop, and later drum and bass, became lucrative money-making genres, with song after song using the Amen break in increasingly innovative – some would say ridiculous – ways.

But despite providing the basis for this success, The Winstons saw none of the reward – since the break was sampled, they received no money at all in royalties. The drummer behind the beat, Gregory Coleman, died homeless in 2006 and was probably unaware of the impact his solo had. But Richard Spencer, frontman of The Winstons and copyright holder of the song, has finally earned some money from the sampling.

Two British DJs, Martyn Webster and Steve Theobald, set up a GoFundMe campaign to raise money for Spencer, asking anybody who had used “or even just enjoyed” the Amen break to donate.

They raised £24,000.

It’s slightly ironic that Spencer was compensated as a result of a very modern, digital fundraising technique, given that it was new digital technology that allowed him to get so screwed over in the first place.

“The drummer behind the beat, Gregory Coleman, died homeless in 2006 and was probably unaware of the impact his solo had” Or, to look at it another way, the extensive sampling of the Amen break has immortalised The Winstons in a way that “Color Him Father” was never able to do. Even if the average music fan doesn’t know the story behind the sample, pretty

much everybody will recognise the break, widely believed to be the most sampled drum solo ever.

As well as featuring heavily in eighties hip-hop, the Amen break crossed the Atlantic and dominated the jungle scene of the early nineties, which gave way to the drum and bass we know today. But the Amen break has a much wider reach than this: Oasis used it in “D’You Know What I Mean?” and it makes an appearance in Amy Winehouse’s “You Know I’m No Good”. In fact, it’s been sampled over 1,800 times, including in numerous adverts.

“By the nineties the music industry had changed and hip-hop, and later drum and bass, became lucrative moneymaking genres, with song after song using the Amen break in increasingly innovative – some would say ridiculous – ways” The story highlights that music is so often more than just art – it is a business, and people like Spencer aren’t being unreasonable when they ask for some financial reward. On the other hand, the whole reason the Amen break has had such a huge influence on music is because it was available for free. If Spencer had started demanding money every time someone used his sample back in the eighties or nineties, producers would have looked elsewhere, and music would undoubtably have been worse off for it.

hen I tell people I spent a short stint of my life in Dubai, I’m bombarded with jealous remarks. Something along the lines of, ‘you must be gutted you moved here!’

I had to suffer comments of this kind last week, when my Aunt who still lives in the Middle Eastern playground came to visit. ‘Surely, you miss that weather – that lifestyle!’, she exclaimed.

Well, that isn’t the case at all. Dubai lacks everything I’ve learned to love since leaving. Including electronic music, and well, culture.

Of course you would expect Dubai, model of the modern metropolis, to be in sync with all things technological including EDM. This is the impression which is given off to the rest of the world, as it is set to host a new electronic music conference in 2016, where producers and record labels will connect in a country which really knows very little about their genre. This seems hard to believe in light of the news this month that, Dubai has set the new world record for the longest back-to-back DJ relay. Take one look at footage of this event, however, and ‘relay’ becomes really lame. It opens with a naff remix of Robin S’s ‘Show Me Love’, a banger by all means but not one that will put Dubai on the musical map. And the DJs themselves – all 151 of them - look as uninspired by what they’re doing as the static spectators. Once again, quantity is more important than quality in this rich kid’s paradise.

Perhaps electronic music is too hard-core in this distant land where 2 men were arrested for going to the mall at 4am in pyjamas. Club dance floors have seen far worse crimes.

You Need To Hear: The soundtrack to ‘A Girl Walks Home Alone at Night’ Crossing the Persian Gulf from Dubai to Iran, there is huge hype surrounding Ana Lily Amirpour’s recent Vampire film, set in ‘the Iranian ghost town of Bad City’. I can’t stress enough that the entire soundtrack for this is bloody brilliant. But, to make it relevant to this column I’ll plead you to listen to a techno track by The Free Electric Band, which compliments a memorable scene in which the intoxicated drug-dealer pimp named Saeed tries but fatally fails to seduce a vampire through his dancing. If that hasn’t excited your curiosity enough to make you watch this movie, you SUCK – pun and offence intended. The film really is an example of Western and Middle Eastern cultures merging in beautiful harmony. Another product of this process is a bewitching track I discovered the other day entitled ‘AMK’ by dub-step trio Kahn, Commodo and Gantz. Let’s just say it allows us to fantasise of a more authentic Arabia than Dubai.

Listen To: The Free Electric Band – ‘Bashy’

Preview: Troupe Presents: My Nu Leng, 4th December, Cosmic Ballroom From one sinister-sounding track to another, my body is ready for the Bristol-based boys of My Nu Leng to bring the bass to the Ballroom with the likes of ‘Masterplan’. Here’s a duo renowned for teasing the crowd to its limits with the drop, and when it finally descends it’s simultaneously the most destructive and most delicate feeling in the world. This night is going to sit somewhere in between charged and chilled, or it could go extremely either way. It will also mark my big return to Cosmic after around 2 months, so I’m definitely going to stage my entrance to ‘You’ve Been Gone’, and I’m expecting a round of applause.

Go follow us on intagram for live gig updates, fun pictures and the latest music gossip@courier_music

30.filmfeatures

Monday 30 November 2015

The Courier

Film Editors: Emma Allsopp, Rhian Hunter & Simon Ramshaw

MEGA FAN vs GIANT CYNIC

The Godfather: Part III

The first two Godfather films are considered to be among the best films ever made. However, the belated third instalment polarises many. This week Imogen Scott-Chambers and Ritwik Sarkar battle out over whether The Godfather: Part III continues the success of the first two, or whether it plummets into the depths of despair.

Flopping films, what makes them fall?

This year has been full of unexpected cinematic failures, so Salman Ali investigates what makes an audience-disappointing and career-ruining flop

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ilms tend to either skyrocket the profits of a studio or send it down into ruin and bankruptcy. Even if a movie equals its production budget it’s still losing out. Big box office flops are summer blockbusters which are quite expensive and have to face stiff competition.

There are reasons for a film to bomb at box office; lack of promotion is a major cause, negative word of mouth or external factors like bad release timing or economic problems in society.

One of the biggest flops of 2015, Aloha got poor reviews, stirred up race-related controversy and all of this came together to create an expected loss of approximately $65 million for the folks at Sony and Fox. Warner Bros. had a handful of regrets this past summer with Hot Pursuit, Entourage and others making less than expected but the numbers

suggest that The Man From U.N.C.L.E. will be the biggest disappointment of all. According to The Hollywood Reporter’s figures, the film is looking at a loss of around $80 million which becomes worse when you realize that number is higher than the reported budget of the movie. Marvel’s First Family and Fantastic Four never really stood a chance due to reviews and terrible buzz. The movie hardly made only a little over $50 million in US, and it looks like Fox may lose $100 million on the investment. The studio has not yet announced what they plan to do with the future of the series, but things definitely don’t look good for a sequel.

But on the flip side, some flops made it big postcinema-release, achieving cult status. Take Donnie Darko – it might have helped launch the acting career of Jake Gyllenhaal, but it miserably flopped

Giant Cynic You should always go out while you’re on top.

Sportsmen alike have done it many times, but the Godfather movie franchise didn’t get the memo.

After a string of flops in the 1980’s director Francis Coppola apparently realized that he was in desperate need of money, thus re-launching the franchise.

What was supposed to be a second coming turned out into a franchise killer, as the movie’s lop sided plot focus turned out to be the least of its problems.

Without a suitable female lead, Coppola cast his own daughter Sofia as Corleone’s daughter. Without any experience, she crumbled in comparison to Andy Garcia and arguably brought the whole movie down.

The ending summed up the insulting attempt at re-kindling the franchise. Rather than having Corleone go up in flames, he falls from a bicycle, and brings down one of the greatest franchises with a cringing whimper rather than an erupting bang.

Ritwik Sarkar

“Fantastic Four never really stood a chance”

This year marks the 76th anniversary of Wizard of Oz, but audiences weren’t too keen to follow Dorothy when she first took her trip down the yellow brick road. The film made around $3m, but considering cost $2.7m to make, it wasn’t seen as a success, in turn racking up a $1.1m loss for MGM. However, the re-release and endless TV broadcasts helped make The Wizard of Oz the classic it is today.

In the end, what makes a movie flop and what can resurrect a flop as a classic masterpiece? The answer is YOU, the audience. In the words of Steven Spielberg ‘They (audience) are the custodians of these visual memories, these stories. And by holding onto a film, or a fragment from a film, that marks a time in your life that will always be a part of your life.”

Mega Fan

“Just when I think I’m out, they pull me back in” - the immortal words of Michael Corleone (Al Pacino) in the third instalment of the infamous Godfather trilogy. Although a critical flop, when seen in isolation from the other outstanding Godfather films, the final helping actually has some exceptional moments which are overshadowed by the more ridiculous and absurd parts. Firstly, Francis Ford Coppola’s direction is stunning throughout; he provides the audience with breathtaking landscapes and intense character studies. Furthermore, Andy Garcia does not disappoint as the bastard son of the deceased Sonny Corleone (James Caan) he plays the hot-head type well with a unique and sleazy charm. Al Pacino’s religious affiliations are executed with astute subtly so that the audience can adapt to the change in scenery from the previous films, the Corleones have switched from casinos to Catholicism and Al Pacino acts tremendously in every scene. It is well worth ignoring the mass media criticisms of this slightly substandard film, and just take it for what it is - the concluding chapter of a masterpiece of cinema.

Imogen Scott-Chambers

when it came out in theaters. After its DVD release back in 2002, it started to play as midnight movie for over 2 years at New York’s Pioneer Theater and became a cult classic. When Fight Club first hit cinemas in 1999, it performed poorly, also receiving mixed review from critics. It was not until the DVD release that sold over 6 million copies that Fight Club reached a wider audience and became a cult classic. The Shawshank Redemption, impossible to change channel from, struggled at first, going up against other classics of ‘94 like Forrest Gump and Pulp Fiction. Shawshank eventually found its audience, and today it tops IMDb’s greatest 250 films of all time and is one of Warner Bros’ most cherished assets.

The LGBT+ community in cinema

With the release of Tangerine Sunil Nambiar assesses whether the presentation of the LGBT+ community in cinema is representative or sadly more like a caricature

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erhaps the earliest high-profile representation of homosexuality in cinema was Alfred Hitchcock’s 1948 film Rope, a psychological crime thriller encircling a gay couple, who kill a former classmate in a vainglorious attempt to create the “perfect murder”.

It was two decades before Raquel Welch played the eponymous Myra Breckinridge, a transgender woman in the midst of a sexual reassignment surgery, who teaches at a young actor’s academy. The film’s portrayal of transgenderism, arguably the most notable of the 1960s, was less than flattering: predatory and conniving, Breckinridge alienates a heterosexual male student from his girlfriend before luring him to the school infirmary, tying him to an exam table, and raping him.

“Amongst tremendous backwardness, however, there is perhaps a smidgen of progress”

Beyond the basal recognition of the very presence of homosexuality and transgenderism, these films only underscored the perceived menace of sexual deviance.

When Dog Day Afternoon, a 1975 film based on a real-life bank robber and his transgender wife, won the Academy Award for best original screenplay, it perhaps set the ball rolling for other films featuring prominent LGBT+ characters. In 1993, Tom Hanks won his Academy Award for his portrayal of a closeted homosexual lawyer dying from AIDS in the film Philadelphia. Seven years later, Hillary Swank won her Academy Award for her portrayal of a transgender man in the film Boys Don’t Cry, before the director Ang Lee won his Academy Award for his representation of a complex homosexual relation-

ship between two Wyoming sheepherders in his 2005 drama Brokeback Mountain.

At first glance, this is worth celebrating: it has brought much-needed notice to the intrinsic complexity and wider subjugation of a marginalised community.

Looking more closely, however, into these film’s associations of LGBT+ with crime (Dog Day Afternoon), crippling disease (Philadelphia), with violence and rape (Boys Don’t Cry), with hiding and heartbreak (Brokeback Mountain), we note the artistic omission of rational and healthy homosexual relationships, of an untroubled transgender; of LGBT+ characters who navigate their lives without being subsumed by sexuality.

Even today, as we rather boastfully identify as a progressive society, where gay marriage is gradually becoming more accepted across the globe, where 1 in every 16.66 Britons are either gay or lesbian, our mainstream film industry is woefully out of touch.

This year, the Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation (GLAAD), tracked 114 features released in 2014 across seven major production companies.

Of the 20 featuring LGBT+ characters, most still relied on deprec at i n g stere-

otypes. For example, The Other Woman (starring Cameron Diaz) and Horrible Bosses 2 (Jason Bateman, Jason Sudeikis and Charlie Day), appear to draw upon LGBT+ themes only to facilitate humour.

Amongst tremendous backwardness, however, there is perhaps a smidgen of progress. Jared Leto’s Oscar-winning performance as the transgender HIV patient Rayon in 2013’s Dallas Buyers Club is perhaps the finest example, along with Pride’s critical and commercial success in 2014.

In lauding these small mercies whilst remaining closed to real change, we witness in our film industry a vicious cycle of misrepresentation that, while difficult to break, is gradually being dismantled. LGBT+ is not a niche genre, nor does it exist to cater to the service of jokes; it is part of our social fabric worthy of multifaceted, complex and genuine artistic exposition: it’s time cinema told the truth.

The Courier

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Monday 30 November 2015

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The Hunger Games: Mockingjay - Part 2 (12A)

The Good, The Bad and The Ugly: Tobey Maguire

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or the most part, I’m ambivalent over YA book adaptations. They’re becoming tough to avoid since the immense success of franchises like Harry Potter and Twilight, with the Maze Runner and Divergent films helping oversaturate the teenage market. The Hunger Games, however, has ascended from the crucible of underwhelming passivity as victor. Catching Fire, the second instalment, is particularly excellent; smart, mature and thrilling, it stands as the benchmark for the subgenre.

So having sat through the laborious Mockingjay Part 1, and being a fan of the first two films, I had high hopes for the final instalment. Unfortunately, a stilted flow and confused character development do their best to spoil some brilliant set pieces and series-best acting. Mockingjay Part 2 suffers most when it forgets itself and falls foul to contrived borrowings from its inferior peers.

We re-join the story right after the events of Part 1, with Katniss (Jennifer Lawrence) keen to get back on take the frontlines of the battle to the Capitol. Peeta (Josh Hutcherson) is a constant thorn in her side as she and the others attempt to remedy his psychological trauma at the hands of President Snow (Donald Sutherland). In a clever twist on the Hunger Games formula, Snow and his ‘game-makers’ have set traps called ‘pods’ all over the city to slow the advances of the rebels. These pods contain various deadly surprises, echoing the eponymous trials, and Katniss & co. must overcome them to finally dethrone Snow. This all, in theory, sounds

like it will be perfect formula for a rousing finale; but it’s so dark and jittery that we never get a chance to settle in.

There is a distinct feeling you get after leaving this film: that the filmmakers got complacent with the material, assuming this was the easiest part of the story to tell, and didn’t give enough time for the edit. The biggest problem Mockingjay Part 2 has is the balancing of its characters. Peeta gets a generous amount of screen-time, and yet his redemption arc is still a little hazy. There is an upside, though, as the much-lamented (by me) Josh Hutcherson turns in a career-best performance, raising his game to the level of ‘bearable’. On the other hand, supporting characters are side-lined and this comes back to haunt the film when they are cashed in for what’s intended to be an emotional pay off, but ends up leaving a bad taste. The most

emotion you’re likely to feel is seeing the CGI-d face of the late-great Philip Seymour Hoffman. The pitch black tone is superimposed by the glaring lack of humour, and it doesn’t sit right, especially when the inevitable ‘happy’ ending is fed to us like a sugar cube to deer. It’s jarring and unfaithful to what the previous instalments had achieved.

Saying all this, there are some spectacular action sequences, and it’s a suitably grand occasion.

Jennifer Lawrence is also as committed as ever, if slightly melodramatic. Yet there’s an authenticity to her brand of drama and you can’t fault director Francis Lawrence for tapping into that.

Finales always carry closure as baggage, and that works in Mockingjay Part 2’s favour, even if the film itself doesn’t quite live up to expectations.

More like this: The Maze Runner (2014) William Leng

Love (18)

The Dressmaker (12A)

Tangerine (15)

The Good: Spider-Man 2 (2004)

T

obey Maguire will always be Spider-man for me. His dorky, awkward but tough in the face of adversity portrayal of Peter Parker is far better than Garfield’s ‘skateboarding hipster’ and in Spider-Man 2, he shines.

Maguire does an amazing job portraying Parker’s internal conflict as he struggles to balance his everyday life with being a superhero, whilst all the while pining over an engaged Mary-Jane. This is why Spider-Man 2 is still considered the hallmark of superhero films. How can you forget that traincar scene?

The Bad: The Great Gatsby (2013)

T

here is a moment of pre-coital hilarity in Gaspar Noë’s latest, Love, where one character asks another, “Can you show me how tender you can be?” And this is exactly how tender Noë can be, with his supposedly sentimental sex epic (in all three dimensions!) being a bizarre mix of passion for passion and the alienating frankness that characterises his body of work.

Love is the tale of Murphy, a filmmaker who learns that his ex-lover, Electra, has gone missing, and goes on a ponderous journey of self-reflection through his sexual experiences and frustrations.

Clocking in at 135 minutes, there’s room for a lot of thematic depth and explorations of its masochistic central figure, yet Noë decides to commit to sensationalism and sketch a grandiose portrait of himself. If you weren’t sure of his favourite films from his own movies’ astonishing lack of taste, helets you know constantly. Posters for Birth of a Nation, Salo, M and even a Rainer Werner Fassbinder t-shirt make bludgeoning appearances, and Noë wants you to know what makes him tick.

But we can’t see any ticking, just a bunch of references, an assortment of candid and (um) well-choreographed sex sequences and some of the year’s best cinematography and sound design.

Noë and his ongoing partnership with DoP Benoît Debie are a formidable duo, and Love proves that even in their calmer films, the Noë-Debie partnership can construct some visual magic. Even the 3D adds a fascinating layer to Debie’s constant tight focus, making the graphic sexuality serene and oddly compelling. The cast of non-professional actors are clearly non-professionals, and Noë’s dialogue clunks in opposition to his perfect visual conceit, so Love is left in a frustrating middle-ground.

Too ambitious to be despised, and too vapid to be adored, it’s another hopelessly infuriating film from Noë about life, love, sex, death and loss. But this time, infinitely more calming. Never expected to say that.

More like this: Enter the Void (2009) Simon Ramshaw

T

I

I

love The Great Gatsby; the novel is amazing, and I even thought Leonardo DiCaprio deserved a lot of recognition for his pitch perfect version of Gatsby, but Maguire nearly ruined the film for me as Nick Carraway.

They use his character as a framing device that doesn’t need to be there, putting Maguire in the limelight as he awkwardly murmurs his way through the story of his amazing surroundings.

This does nothing but exaggerate how boring and lifeless his character is, with a serious lack of any agency or development.

he Dressmaker is an ambitious film, which attempts to combine the story of an Agatha Christie murder mystery with Hot Fuzz’s humour. Unfortunately, this interesting premise doesn’t quite manage to come together.

Based on the best-selling novel by Rosalie Ham, the story takes place in 1951 in the Australian Outback. Kate Winslet stars as Myrtle “Tilly” Dunnage, an expert dressmaker, who, after living in Paris, returns to her hometown of Dungatar. She was exiled when she was ten because she was implicated in the death of a fellow school pupil.

Upon her arrival, she stays with her mentally unstable mother, “Mad” Molly Dunnage (Judy Davis, fantastic as the cankerous alcoholic) who claims to not remember her. As the film progresses we meet the other residents of Dungatar (Dungatarians?!) who view Tilly with both fascination and contempt. Among the townsfolk are hunky Teddy McSwiney (Liam Hemsworth), effeminate police officer Sergeant Farrat (Hugo Weaving) and the film’s main antagonist, Councillor Pettyman (Shane Bourne).

The Dressmaker’s main problem is that it just has too much going on. Throughout the course of the film we encounter an OCD housewife, a sadistic chemist, an unlikely marriage and a rival seamstress. It seems like we’re watching an Eastenders omnibus. Unfortunately, these various plots are about as riveting as an issue of Hello magazine. Potentially tolerable at 90 minutes, the film stretches on for over two hours culminating in a nonsensical, macabre ending.

The film does have its bright moments, particularly whenever Winslet and Davis share the screen.

The rest of the film’s superfluous plot lines and developments are just a means to try and develop this mother-daughter relationship.

It’s a shame to see Winslet wasted in a film like The Dressmaker. Let’s hope her next film is a few stitches above this one.

More like this: Aloha (2015)

t’s Christmas Eve, and transgender sex worker best friends Sin-Dee Rella (Kitana Kiki Rodriguez) and Alexandra (Mya Taylor) have met up in Donut Time. Sin-Dee has just finished a stint in the jail and has just $2 to her name ($1, since she’s bought a doughnut). Alexandra bluntly asserts that Sin-Dee’s pimp-boyfriend Chester (James Ransone) has cheated on her, and more than once. This sparks a remarkable manhunt across the entirety of Los Angeles in search of him.

This is the first film to be shot entirely on iPhones. It shows. Yet, what the film gains by not splashing out on cameras, it makes up in other area. It’s allowed a whole range of extras to be used throughout the film, including a cameo from Instagram-famous fashionista Francis Lola. A topnotch soundtrack ranging from the upbeat Bern Nix Quartet’s jazz numbers to more sombre string slurs allows the film to portray a range of different emotions with fluidity. It’s light, bright, and (bar the odd camera wobble) is shot surprisingly well.

The film leaves a serious message. Transgender actors and issues receive depressingly little coverage on screen. Whilst waiting for a bus, Sin-Dee gets a mixed range of looks and later had a drink thrown at her, in contrast to scenes including beleaguered Armenian taxi driver Razmik (Karren Karagulian) – in one, he expresses disgust when a cisgender prostitute enters his car in the transgender red light district. In terms of making a point about culture and attitudes to gender and sexuality, the film promotes tolerance by depicting intolerance, which is no bad thing.

The budget of the film cannot detract from its overall message, which is akin to the world today and is executed with empathetic humour. With a larger budget, Tangerine would perhaps have been less successful at showing the problems of a variety of individuals in society in such a meaningful way.

More like this: Gummo (1997)

h boy, what a nightmare. I like to forget that this film exists, to be honest with you. After growing up watching the previous two films, to transition into adolescence and be met with this monstrosity was a real kick in the teeth.

This time, Maguire plays Peter as he encounters the Symbiote suit, a parasite that turns him into the exact opposite of his character. Obnoxious, rude, and overbearingly confident, the whole film Maguire is basically playing to his weakness as an actor, and it is truly hard to watch. Those finger guns will follow him to the grave.

Harry Musson

Francis Williams

Jordan Olomon

The Ugly: Spider-Man 3 (2007)

O

The Courier

featurefilm.33

Monday 30 November 2015

The Quizmaster Strikes Back 1. Who played the live-action Jabba 6. What is the creature that the Hutt in the scenes cut from Lucas’ original version of A New Hope? a. b. c.

Domhnall Gleeson Declan Mulholland Ryan O’Neal

2. We all know George Lucas has

a bit of a thing for hands being chopped off, so how many arms/ hands are lost in the franchise so far? a. b. c.

13 14 19

3. What race is General Grievous? a. b. c.

Mandalorian Kaleesh Mustafarian

4.

From what planet do the Clones originate from? a. b. c.

Concord Dawn Dantooine Kamino

5. Name the two creatures which

effectively saves Luke’s life from the snows of Hoth in The Empire Strikes Back? a. b. c.

A kybuck A wampa A tauntaun

7. In Return of the Jedi, which fighter squadron does Wedge Antilles lead? a. b. c.

Blue Red Green

8. Where is Luke off to when we first meet him in A New Hope? a. b. c.

Mos Espa Tosche Station Anchorhead

9. In Revenge of the Sith, Obi-Wan meets Timon Medon, a Pau’an.

Medon is played by Bruce Spence, but in which other cult film franchise did Spence star in? a. b. c.

Mad Max The Neverending Story Star Trek

Jabba the Hutt likes to feed people to. a. b. c.

Wampas and Toydarians Sarlaccs and Rancors Mynocks and Sullustans Think you’re a jedi at Star Wars trivia?

Email your answers to c2.film@ncl.ac.uk, first person to get them all correct wins a prize out of this world

10.

Which world does Princess Leia tell Grand Moff Tarkin the Rebel Base is on in A New Hope? a. b. c.

Dantooine Yavin 4 Jakku

11.

Which of these quips does Han Solo not say?

a.

“What an incredible smell you’ve discovered!” b.

“Laugh it up, fuzzball!” c.

“There’s always a bigger fish.”

12.

When Order 66 is put in action, who is the first Jedi to die? a. b. c.

Plo Koon Ki-Adi Mundi Kit Fisto

13.

How many different actors have played Anakin Skywalker? a. b. c.

2 3 4

14.

Which well-known British actress played one of Padme Amidala’s hand-maidens in The Phantom Menace? a. Keira Knightley b. Andrea Riseborough c. Sophia Myles

15.

In Attack of the Clones, what does Anakin find “coarse”, “rough” and “irritating”? a. Hayden Christensen b. The central romance of the prequel trilogy c. Sand

34.tvfeatures

Monday 30 November 2015

The Courier

TV Editors: Jack Parker, Hannah Bunting & Helen Daly

Mash-upmadness

Vodka and Broke You will need: - A bottle of wine/cans of beer - Vodka or any other spirit - Tequila, salt and limes - A hearty appreciation for jokes about lady-parts 1. Every time someone references the size of Max’s boobs, drink.

Whether it’s Max working her cleavage in THAT black dress, or someone referring to her by breast size alone - take a hearty glug.

2. Take a drink every someone makes a joke about Han’s height.

The pint-sized proprietor of the diner is the constant butt of jokes - for additional drunkenness, take a sip every time the other characters insinuate that Han is a virgin.

3. Drink every time Jennifer Coolidge’s Sophia makes a grand entrance.

To honour her bizarre sex-symbol status, drink deeply.

4. Take a drink every time Oleg is sexually inappropriate.

Self-explanatory, really.

5. Waterfall for the duration of every celebrity guest appearance.

Yes, Kim Kardashian counts as a celebrity, here.

Sci-fi fans were tantalised recently with Steven Moffat’s admission that a Star Trek/ Doctor Who crossover would be right up his alley. In honour of this possibility, we’ve rounded up the best, brightest and weirdest of ideas for TV mash-ups

Footballers Wives meets Bad Girls

If there’s one stock character I can really go for it’s the super bitch. Manipulative, scheming, and invariably sexy; this is a protagonist who’s a dick to everyone but for some reason it’s endearing. That’s exactly how I felt about the ineffable Tanya Turner from classic noughties ITV drama Footballers’ Wive$.

Sexually mercenary and a coke fiend of grade A calibre, it was only a matter of time before her luck would run out and she’d get sent down for something. Unfortunately, this was going to come when her love rival, and wife of the club captain, Amber Gates planted some of Colombia’s finest in Turner’s handbag resulting in a spell in Larkhall Prison, the setting for one of noughties ITV’s finest (if you look at it that way) drama- Bad Girls.

Obviously in the dog eat dog world of G-wing Tanya was not going to put her conniving to rest and from the off-set she was motivated by securing her release and proving her innocence. Of-course the only way for this gal to do it was to get embroiled with a gangster and use extortion, bribing, and blackmail to get her way out of it. On top of this it’s only natural that the absurd follows her into Larkhall and she then gets implicated in a rhubarb poisoning plot.

At the end of Series 3 of Footballers’ Wives we were hankering for more of the villainous Turner and her appearance on Bad Girls was an absolute treat. Not since Zoe Lucker mesmorised TV audiences with her gratuitous sex scenes, her attempts at putting fake tan on a dead baby, and her penchant for older Brazillian millionaires has there been someone even remotely worthy of the title super bitch.

Jamie Shepherd

Game of Thrones meets Teletubbies

There is something intrinsically delightful about the idea of Tinky Winky gouging Dipsy’s eyes from his face as La-La looks on in terror. Or perhaps Noo-noo Lannister orchestrating a nefarious plot to become king of Tubbyland, presumably giving birth to some incestuous vacuum-bag lovechild.

It does make at least a modicum of disgusting, bewildering sense.

The Teletubbies always had the cold, dead eyes of ruthless killers, with the gentle demeanor of diplomats on camera. Who could have guessed that while singing songs about farm animals with groups of small children they were the secretly plotting the tragic downfall of Po, giving new meaning to the term Red Wedding.

This would all be underpaved by an age-old backstory. Tinky Winky, last of the triangle-headed Targaryens seeks to reclaim Home Hill. And then dragons! Dragons razing the verdant landscape of Tubbyland with glorious all-consuming fire. Mortal Tubbies tremble at their imminent demise as the eternal black void sweeps them into its gaping maw.

All the while, George R.R. Martin’s smiling visage stares uncaringly down at the Tubby-themed chaos, giggling maniacally as the lions savage and maul the remainder of the animal parade. It was always the creepiest part of the beloved childhood series, and it is my unwavering opinion that the addition of Martin’s visceral imagination could only enhance the experience.

Oh, the money I’d pay to see this series made. And furthermore, I think it would do very well.

People would watch it unquestioningly with sick fascination.

Just like when we watched Teletubbies.

Ollie Burton

Who needs unimaginable wealth when Sam Jacks does two trebles for a fiver?

6. Every time Max is rude to a diner customer, take a drink.

Feel free to gauge the amount by how sassy/cutting Max’s diatribe is. Drink twice if she takes the customers’ food away.

7. Drink whenever Earl references doing drugs.

The greater the illegality of said substance(s), the more you drink.

8. Every time Max mentions her terrible mother/ absent father, take a drink.

Need we say more?

9. Do a sympathetic suicide shot of tequila every time the girls lose money.

At the end of each episode (assuming you make it that far,) is a roundup of the girls’ finances - if they make a loss, pour a shot of tequila. Then, snort the salt, squeeze the lime in your eye and drink the tequila in a display of solidarity.

10. Drink every time the horse makes an appearance.

All hail Chestnut!

11. Drink every time someone references female masturbation.

Iqra Choudhry

Continue the debate online: thecourieronline.co.uk/tv

Doctor Who meets Star Trek

Doctor Who’s head writer Steven Moffat recently suggested that he would love to do a crossover between his show and Star Trek which is due to return in 2017 and has set those geek hearts-a-flutter. Just imagine for one second, the two smartest characters locking minds in a sixty-minute epic; but how would Mr Spock and The Doctor interact with each other. Would they be friends?

Would they be enemies? Let’s investigate the possibilities.

So they meet on a far off distant planet, both are investigating a very unusual life form with three heads and seven arms when they run into each other. You can literally feel the tension between the pair as they both fight to reveal more information about the alien, let alone the rush to name it. Probably for the best that Captain Kirk and Clara Oswald pull their respective mate away before things turned really nasty.

However, turn things on their head and we see Spock and The Doctor bonding over finally finding someone who they match intellectually. Forget Kirk and Clara, Spock and The Doctor have now found each other, and what a beautiful relationship they will have. Ships ahoy; there’s already an abundance of fan fiction doing the rounds on the internet about the pair.

Realistically though, this isn’t going to happen.

Spock and The Doctor might be the perfect pair, either in a friendly or an argumentative way, but they live in different pockets of science fiction; one where we can enjoy our sci-fi heroes individually.

Helen Daly

The Courier

highlightstv.35

Monday 30 November 2015

thecourieronline.co.uk/tv c2.tv@ncl.ac.uk | @courier_tv

BingeaNinja

W A to Z

E4, Monday, 7:30pm

L

ooking for a new cute Rom-com to fill the cold winter nights? Look no further! A to Z is the new American TV series to be aired in the UK, and here’s what to expect.

A to Z gets its name from its two main characters, Andrew and Zelda. A to Z is effectively the story of how Andrew and Zelda meet and (you guessed it), get together and fall in love; although perhaps not so straightforward as that.

Andrew (Ben Feldman – you may have seen him in The Mindy Project) is a typical guy who loves sports and Liam Neeson movies, whilst also having a softer side and enjoys singing along to Celine Dion. Andrew’s day job is working for an internet dating company, meaning he helps others find happiness whilst putting his own love life on a back burner; but is this all about to change when he meets Zelda?

Now, insert a petite brown-haired beauty – a

girly girl who enjoys getting her nails done and dressing up for ‘themed cocktail parties’, this is Zelda (Cristin Milioti – How I Met Your Mother and The Wolf of Wall Street). Zelda is a lawyer who enjoys being in control of her life. Just from the trailer I think it can be presumed that Zelda has had her heart broken once or twice, (we’ll probably find out the whos, wheres and whens over the course of the season) and therefore has her defences up, but how will Andrew handle this? Again, I expect that this could be another pitfall in the progress of their relationship.

In the trailer, Andrew and Zelda inevitably meet when she walks in to the internet dating office with a problem with her online account. Andrew, with the encouragement of his bearded ginger friend, finds the courage to introduce himself to Zelda and it isn’t long before he asks her out for drinks.

I think that we can expect the sub-characters to be stereotypical, perhaps annoyingly so, we’ll just have to wait and see.

All seems to be going well until Andrew talks about a concert he once attended…lo and behold it just so happens Zelda was at the same concert. An-

Rack Pack

B

time.

Back in the Seventies and Eighties, the snooker scene was at its peak, with the likes of Steve Davis and Alex Higgins household names. 18.5 million tuned in to see the world snooker final on BBC in 1985, a figure which remains a post-midnight TV record to this day. If all that seems difficult to believe, remember Snooker Loopy reached number six in the UK singles chart at the time.

Rack Pack tells the story of the great rivalry between Davis and Higgins, in a celebration of the sport’s glory days, 30 years on from that epic final.

Luke Treadaway stars as the ever-popular ‘Hurricane’ Higgins, a man whose mesmerising talent and showmanship captivated audiences, despite his explosive personality away from the table. Yet for all Higgins’ brilliance and popularity, it was ice-cool Steve ‘The Nugget’ Davis who dominated the sport throughout the Eighties. Davis went on to win six World Championships between 1981 and 1989, with the help of manager Barry Hearn, played by Kevin Bishop.

The lives of the two snooker greats is retold in what has been described as a ‘rip-roaring romp’ through the snooker scene, celebrating the colourful personalities and dramatic contests of snooker’s greatest era.

Despite the tensions between Davis and Higgins, the Rack Pack spins this tale in an affectionate manner, with a thrilling and funny story in an attempt to engage a younger audience.

Reece Hanson

Amy Baird

Doctor Who Finale

Available on BBC iPlayer BC iPlayer’s first ever comedy drama feature goes live this week, telling the story of one of the greatest sporting rivalries of all

drew suddenly exclaims that he saw her at the party in a silver dress, before stating that their meeting is ‘destiny’ and the kind of story to tell your kids.

Zelda replies with an astonished ‘so we’re gonna have kids?’ before declaring that the girl in the silver dress wasn’t her and leaving the bar ASAP. Wow, perhaps a bit much for a first date; also it may only be me who thinks this, but this seems a tad too anticipated and cheesy.

Don’t worry too much though, the next day after a pep talk from her friend Zelda calls Andrew, meets him, they kiss and this is the beginning of the rest of the season, the ‘comprehensive account’ of A and Z’s relationship. I think that this TV series although perhaps a bit predictable, has potential and will be good as background noise or to watch whilst winding down after a long day at Uni. Each episode is around 22 minutes long I’m expecting A to Z to be the perfect accompaniment to hot chocolate, marshmallows and a fluffy dressing gown.

Scandal

BBC One, Saturday, 8pm

I

t’s been a bumpy ride for The Doctor in series eight. The Time Lord has come under pressure from Daleks, Zygons and the scariest of monsters, declining ratings. Later time-slots on the schedule and more mature narratives have caused some to argue that this series has lost some of the childrens’ show values that Doctor Who is supposed to have.

However, this series has been critically popular, with almost every episode gaining positive reviews each week. This has been helped by the risks taken

by Steven Moffat who has expanded his writing team and allowed them to experiment. Over the course of the series, we’ve experienced a breaking down of the fourth wall, a found-footage style episode and a solo-hander. Doctor Who has once again become exciting and unpredictable.

Whilst information and teasers for series eight were minimal compared to past series, we did know that Clara Oswald, would be leaving the TARDIS for good. What we didn’t know, and didn’t expect for that matter, was that she would be leaving in just a random episode during the series.

‘Face The Raven’ saw Clara, quite brutally, meet her death with still two episodes of the series left.

Let’s be honest though: who really believes that we won’t see Clara again? With Moffat and Capaldi all insisting that this is really the last we’ve seen of the companion, a whisper of ‘the lady doth protest too much’ swirls around fan theorists. As Doctor Who fans, we know that only time will tell, and with details about the finale being kept tightly under wraps, time travel would benefit the impatient among us.

Helen Daly

Sky Living, Thursday, 10pm

I

t’s been a while since we last saw Olivia Pope in our screen. If you miss her, don’t worry; Scandal is back on Sky for its fifth season.

Last season, we saw Rowan Pope sent to jail by Olivia and her team. Mellie became the senator of Virginia. However, she was asked to move out of his house after President Fitz found out that she was involved in the brutal killing of the grand jurors in the B-613 trial. Fitz fired Cyrus, the chief staff of the White House, after learning about Cyrus’ collusion with Rowan Pope. Jake also decided to leave Olivia Pope, telling her to go after what she wants.

The season ended with Olivia Pope and President Fitz locked in a steamy kiss. Obviously, the two are the only people who got their happy ending at the end of the season.

So what’s in store for Season 5? Clearly, we get to see how Olivia and Fitz’s relationship developed even though they have decided to keep it a secret until Fitz is officially divorced. Cyrus, Mellie, and Huck are all still dealing with the consequences of helping Command. Elizabeth North, portrayed by Portia de Rossi, is now a regular series and has become the new Chief of Staff of the White House.

Other than the continuation from last season, this season, the royal family of Caldonia will visit the United States and a tragedy hits their family. Olivia Pope is hired by them to ensure that the family’s privacy will remain private. So, get ready for another heart-pounding, jaw-dropping, and mindblowing moments from Shonda Rimes in this season of Scandal.

Nathasya Gunawan

hat do you get when you combine six strangers, a prophetic graphic novel from a scientist in an asylum, and a tragically comic battle against the impending genocide of humanity?- One hell of a TV show.

Perhaps one of the most criminally underrated TV series’ of the 21st century, Utopia, in it’s twoseason run, sent its humble number of viewers on a novel ride through an impending apocalypse.

With a bright yellow poster, a damaged serial killer and a plot that’s harder to define than Mr. Nobody, Utopia was every inch the quintessence of quirky that TV viewers desperately needed.

A group of unlikely nerds find themselves in possession of an unpublished comic book manuscript which is rumoured to explain the origin of a mysterious illness. They soon find themselves pursued by a dogged assassin, a shady pharmaceutical company and a weird young woman determined to bring it all crashing down.

The moments of real humour are juxtaposed, with a sense of awkward brilliance, alongside the more serious plotline revelations. What does compliment this perfectly, is the production value of the entire series. The visuals and the soundtrack make Utopia one of the most idiosyncratic shows around. Shots are framed like comic book panels, acidic shades of yellow make their way into almost every scene. Moreover, the most important moments usually get a single colour that repeats itself in the entire composition, evoking a sort of chilling comfort that typifies the entire series. Director Marc Munden, production head Brad Buckland, bring a genuinely unique and completely unnerving aesthetic that puts most of television cinematography to shame.

Apart from the nuanced acting stylings of seeming amateurs in the world of TV acting, what makes Utopia truly stand out is the central theme.

“Shots are framed like comic book panels, acidic shades of yellow make their way into almost every scene.

Moreover, the most important moments usually get a single colour that repeats itself in the entire composition, evoking a sort of chilling comfort that typifies the entire series.”

When a mysterious, not-so-government-organisation, (aptly dubbed ‘The Network’) begins to reveal its true plans, the audience is initially left scratching their heads. That simple act of confusion however, transforms itself into full-blown tearing of hair, as it raises an important question about the future of humanity, leaving you wondering exactly which side you stand on.

The matter raised is one that’s extremely prevalent and poignant and forces you to reconsider exactly what course humanity is going to be on in the not so distant future. When a show, as quirky and cool as Utopia, makes you do that, it’s something that’s worth a watch.

Added to the more than evident mystique is the fact that it was cancelled after only two seasons. The few viewers who did religiously follow the show were disappointed, however the many who viewed it retrospectively came to the realisation, that it’s cancellation preserved it’s story, legacy. Most notably however, it retained the awe-inspiring ambiguity that grips it’s viewers from start to finish.

Ritwik Sakar

36.gaming

Monday 30 November 2015

The Courier

Gaming Editors: Michael Hicks, Ollie Burton & James McCoull

Top 5 sidekicks in gaming

Jared Moore hands out the silver medals 5. Boone/Dogmeat Kicking off our list at number five is a double bundle of Fallout. On one hand we have Boone, expert marksman and former NCR Sharpshooter. Troubled by the events of his past, Boone will stop at nothing to show his hatred towards the Legion, normally in the form of a miserable depressing comment – seriously, this guy smiles less than Kanye. On the other hand we have Dogmeat. He’s a dog, man’s best friend... I don’t think I need to say any more on that.

4. The Companion Cube An odd choice as a sidekick. Here, we have a cube... a cube that doesn’t talk, have feelings or emotions and constantly insists that you carry it around wherever you go. Yet, in a world full of tests set up to kill you, Companion Cube is your only friend.

But, if that isn’t enough to win you over, then maybe you should just take a second to consider the level of sacrifice that the cube takes in order for you to win the game. Spoiler warning: you have to throw it into a furnace, it’s all very sad!

Review: Warhammer: Vermintide Jordan Oloman calls the exterminators for some exterminatus

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ow, I have absolutely no knowledge of anything Warhammer or Games Workshop related. The lore is completely lost on me, so I naively assumed that most Warhammer games were your typical top down thinking man’s RTS with a cult following, stemming from the briefcases and the painted figurines and all that lark. Bleurgh. Imagine my surprise then, when I found this little gem teetering about in Twitch’s ‘most played’ section.

As soon as you jump in to Vermintide’s wellcrafted world, it’s obvious that this instalment is breaking conventions in a bold new way. For a start, it’s a first person co-operative survival game, and it’s a damn good one at that. Yet, from first glance, the parallels to other games of the genre are pretty glaring. It looks and breathes like Left 4 Dead 2, and it borrows perhaps a bit too much from the formula. There are hordes of creepy bipedal rats, with no prime directive except kill, and of course, special variants. Some cosplay as Roman legionnaires, some shoot poison gas, some pounce on the unsuspecting (Déjà vu?) and of course, there’s a big hulking ‘tank’ rat. The end of each level further requires you to get in a cart and shut the door when everyone’s in, and some levels require you to pick

up sacks of grain scattered around a small map, and load them into a vehicle in order to leave the area. With that, I think I’ve made my point.

“It’s a brilliant system that really pokes holes in the principles of other co-op games and allows for some intense multiplayer action” However, it is when Vermintide strays from the established formula that it really shines. The game boasts five unique heroes, each with distinctive traits that complement each other, and each one is incredibly fun to play. The Waywatcher, an elven archer who can fire at an incredible pace, but also do insane damage up close with her daggers, is a lot of fun, as is the Witch Hunter, who wields dual pistols and a rapier, boasting serious Skaven killing capacity. At the end of each map, there is a loot system pertaining to your performance, and the collecting of certain tomes and grimoires that limit both your health and carry slots. Therefore, you

can risk not holding onto that potentially life-saving potion, and shaving off a third of your health for a chance at some better loot in the end. It’s a brilliant system that really pokes holes in the principles of other co-op games, and allows for some tense multiplayer action.

Each hero has three types of weapon for both melee and ranged, and the weapons are graded in coloured rarity, with whites being common, and rare coloured weapons often being imbued with special effects that can be game-changing. This allows the customization to be increasingly diverse, and open to a lot of playstyles. In between missions, you can relax at the pub, in which you can craft and imbue your weapons to increase their offensive capabilities, or scrap them in for a chance at a better item to pad out your arsenal. The crafting system adds a lot of returning value to the game, and keeps it from going stale, even during subsequent playthroughs.

All in all, it’s basically Left 4 Dead on the medieval equivalent of steroids, and if you happen to have a bunch of friends who don’t have any qualms with enough rat murder to give any animal rights activist PTSD, look no further. A fine addition to the Warhammer franchise.

3. Yoshi It’s hard to stomach the life of a sidekick, always being out of the spotlight, normally putting in the same level of effort as the “hero” and only getting half the credit. But for Yoshi, it’s even worse: not only is he the sidekick to Mario, but also to Luigi, and with Luigi being almost a sidekick to Mario, does that not make Yoshi a sidekick’s sidekick? Number 3 today is everyone’s favourite little green dinosaur, with the ability to practically make Mario invincible and eat his foes.

2. Tails Life as Tails the Fox must be a tough one... Sonic the Hedgehog always steals the show, yet Tails is there through the thick and thin of it. Tails the Fox is Sonic’s best friend, but he’s also more than that.

To us, Tails was one of the first available characters to nullify the horrific idea of taking turns when it came to gaming. Player two would take the role of Tails when he first appeared in Sonic the Hedgehog 2 and suddenly sidekicks had a voice. But for Tails, life has always been as a side kick - even his full name of ‘Miles Prower’ is a pun in reference to Sonic’s immense speed. For those taking a while to see it, ‘Miles Per Hour’?

1. Clank If Ratchet was the brawn, then Clank was definitely the brains. Clank was the loveable robot equivalent of Inspector Gadget. From Jetpacks to Robowings, Clank was there to assist you in all the ways your Lombax body just wouldn’t serve you.

Originally, Clank was meant to be a brutal murderous robot, programmed to serve the notorious Chairman Drek. Fortunately for you though, Clank came out of the production line smaller and weaker than his fellow evil robot brethren. Being the “runt of the litter” makes him perfect to fill the role of “unlikeliest robot to save the day” and therefore puts him at number 1 on this list.

Image; Dominic11 on Flickr

Image; PSManianet on Flickr

Club Trope-icana: Character customisation Imogen Scott-Chambers looks at the infinitely malleable avatars of video games

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t some point in our lives, we have all woken up and asked the immortal question “what am I going to wear today?” Consequently, we have a range of choices in our wardrobe enabling us to go out, looking exactly how we want to, and this seems like a pretty good deal until you think about character customisation in games. Most characters in games are lucky; they have so many more options available to them in the form of character customisation than you ever will. For a gamer, this allows a once-generic character to become so much more than a boring avatar - it can become something personal to you, something immensely powerful, and something to behold with pride.

In many ways, characters in games have more choices available to them than you do in everyday life. Common customisations can include name, personal information (age, family, background), physical information (height, weight, hair and eye colour), equipment and clothes, attributes such as strength, speed, agility, endurance, constitution, intelligence and even the character’s job (which often means more how they fight rather than a profession). I don’t know about you, but sometimes I wouldn’t mind waking up and changing my strength levels, hair colour and intelligence!

One of my favourite examples of character customisation at its best is in Fallout 4. The character customisation allows you to edit gender, face structure and features, tattoos, scars, hairstyle, hair colour and lots more. I have seen some people turn

their characters into Shrek, Barack Obama and Karl Pilkington to name a few, thus demonstrating that the options at your disposal are expansively varied and high quality. It is just such a fun and pleasing aspect of the game and it is really good for creative people who don’t like to stick to the rules or play as just one character, especially in the case of Fallout 4 in which you can visit a plastic surgeon to change appearance.

One game where character customisation is crucial to game play is Darklands. It pursued a complicated background-based character creation but it meant that in choosing your character’s upbringing and career you directly affected the gameplay and end results. Naturally, this type of character customisation takes more time, but results in a character that has a reason for his particular stats which makes customisation an interesting added dynamic to the game.

“For a gamer, this allows a oncegeneric character to become so much more than a boring avatar”

My final favourite and slightly vintage example of character customisation is from the wrestling game WWF: The Legends of Wrestling available for the N64. There was a Create-A-Legend mode which allowed you to hand craft your own wrestler, in which you began with a template from an in-game character and then you could really experiment with their appearance. You could change

the face make up, tattoos, add huge muscles and change their hair and clothes. Furthermore, the mode allowed you to pick any move whatsoever to be a finishing manoeuvre. In addition to this, you could choose a song to be played as your wrestler entered the ring and give them different props and weapons to use. This option resulted in some very interesting gameplay, and some truly comical characters.

Image; Mycophagia on Flickr

So this leads me to pose the question, why can’t life be like a game in which I could choose to make myself look like Barack Obama (presumably with all presidential abilities that entails) with just a few clicks of a mouse if I so wished? Or give myself super awesome muscles or amazing fighting skills?

I guess for now I will have to stick to my conventional wardrobe and make-up bag, and work on the fighting skills the old fashioned way.

The Courier

gaming.37

Monday 30 November 2015

President; developer; gamer

Richard Liddle looks back on the life of the man who defined modern gaming

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or many Nintendo fans, the announcement of a Nintendo Direct earlier this month was greeted with excitement after a four month long absence of the company’s signature news stream. But amidst the rumours of a HD Twilight Princess port, new Pokémon games and the usual speculation over just what the upcoming Nintendo NX actually is, a more important question hung heavy on many fans’ minds: who would be replacing late CEO Satoru Iwata as the presenter?

As it turned out, Nintendo of Europe CEO Satoru Shibata had taken on the role, beginning the Direct by thanking fans for their messages of support following Iwata’s death in July. The rest of the stream went on as usual, with a number of announcements and new footage of upcoming games, but despite the impressive showing it felt somewhat lacklustre without Iwata’s charm and humour. He wasn’t just Nintendo’s president; he was the face of the company, instantly recognisable to fans the world over.

Iwata began his career as a part-time programmer for HAL Laboratories, despite the disapproval

of his family. Having risen to the position of President and saved the company from bankruptcy by 1993, and thanks to his work on various classic Nintendo titles – including EarthBound, Super Smash Bros. and Pokémon Stadium (porting the battle system from Red and Green in under a week, without reference notes) – Iwata was able to take a position as the head of Nintendo’s corporate planning division in 2000, and in 2002 was named the new CEO of the company.

“There was the time he stood and stared at a bunch of bananas for nearly ten seconds without explanation, the invasion of a horde of Luigis mid-stream...”

In his new position, Iwata placed great emphasis on promoting creativity and innovation within the company. This led to the development of the Nintendo DS, its touchscreen designed to create new

Image; Ignite News, Flickr

Memory card: A Bug’s Life

Peter Austin returns to Ant Island to revisit the Pixar classic

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ixar seem to be releasing sequel after sequel these days and yet A Bug’s Life remains sadly untouched, fading further into obscurity with each passing year. It’s a genuine tragedy because the film contained all the humour and beauty of a classic Pixar title but, perhaps more importantly, gave birth to that oh-so-rare of things; a respectable movie-based video game. In 1998, Traveller’s Tales released an adaptation for the PS1 and N64, featuring over a dozen recognisable characters voiced by the original cast. It was certainly true to the storyline of the movie, but what was so good about the game itself?

some of these locations is like pulling teeth. He builds up way too much momentum when he moves so his turning circle is absurd. However, he has got a very redeeming ground-pound attack. It may be incredibly overpowered, killing most enemies in one hit, but it’s irrefutably satisfying to use. Controls aside, the gameplay is actually pretty original for a platformer. Large orange seeds are littered all over the landscape and Flik can make them grow into plants by jumping on them. Traveller’s Tales managed to use this mechanic to create some highly engaging puzzles. Over fifteen different plants of your choosing can be grown and many of the seeds can be picked up and taken to be used all over the open-planned levels. You might choose to grow them into bouncy mushrooms to help you reach a ledge or a berry canon that attacks enemies.

You even get access to dandelions, which allow Flik to glide across the level on one of their fluffy seeds just like in the movie.

“The laidback opening level is vibrant with sunny blue skies and crisp stalks of green clover towering over your little ant body”

Well, visually speaking, things are actually a little inconsistent, with the quality varying depending on what you’re looking at. Details on the player and NPC models are kind of fuzzy and some of the collectible items look very dated, even for 1998. However, the level environments themselves look great for the time. The terrain is varied and far from blocky but what stands out most is the colour scheme. The laidback opening level is vibrant with sunny blue skies and crisp stalks of green clover towering over your little ant body. Further into the game, however, and you’ll find yourself in underground tunnels lit by luminescent mushrooms or climbing the Ant Island tree at dusk. In every case, the colour palette is matched perfectly to suit the atmosphere of the level.

Unfortunately, trying to get Flik to actually navigate

The crowning glory of A Bug’s Life though is its music. Composers Andy Blythe and Marten Joustra use woodwind, percussion and middle eastern instruments for all they’re worth, creating an enchanting set of tracks that completely immerse you in the world. For a game in which you play as an ant wandering through the undergrowth, creating something with very natural tones was crucial and the composers went above and beyond.

Without a doubt the world that Traveller’s Tales created in the A Bug’s Life video game is a work of art. The wonderful colour palettes, the fantastic soundtrack and the novel seed-growing system are so perfect that the admittedly slightly dodgy character detail and beyond dodgy controls become a non-issue. A Bug’s Life is still worth a replay. Any fan of the film or indeed of retro-style 3D platformers in general should definitely be checking this one out.

ways of playing. Iwata continued this strategy with the Wii, telling Nintendo’s hardware developers to create a console without a conventional controller in order to make games more accessible to everyone. Iwata’s strategy was a resounding success; both the DS and Wii sold phenomenally, turning the company’s fortunes around after the disappointing Gamecube era, and introduced huge numbers of casual gamers to Nintendo’s games.

Iwata’s policy of accessibility extended to Nintendo’s relationship with the public, and it was here that he began to endear himself to Nintendo’s fans.

Iwata oversaw the release of the first Nintendo Direct in 2011, presenting a livestream detailing upcoming Nintendo games. The Directs proved a hit with fans, and went on to become Nintendo’s primary means of interacting with the public.

Much of the success of Nintendo Directs came down to Iwata’s unique presentation style. He made every announcement with a cheery smile, apologising for delays with a polite “please understand”, and injected his own brand of quirky humour at every opportunity. There was the time he stood and stared at a bunch of bananas for nearly ten seconds without explanation, the invasion of a horde of Luigis mid-stream, his attempts to fend off a Poltergust-3000-wielding Shigeru Miyamoto.

And who could forget his epic battle with Reggie Fils-Aime in last year’s E3 presentation?

Iwata’s charming persona quickly gained him huge popularity with Nintendo fans, and his sudden and unexpected death in July prompted a massive outpouring of public tributes as the gaming world mourned his passing. Often quoted was a speech by Iwata in 2005: “On my business card, I am a corporate president. In my mind, I am a game developer. But in my heart, I am a gamer.” This perfectly captures Iwata’s significance to Nintendo – he wasn’t just some pencil-pushing businessman calling the shots, he was a gamer, a direct link to Nintendo’s fans, and he will be sorely missed.

Happy finish to a perfect release Jack Taylor elucidates wildly

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n the 10th November something amazing happened. 10% of the human race (who regularly use Pornhub) decided that simulated killing and adventuring was more important to them than simulated sex. But maybe it isn’t as important as people think it is.

There’s always a chance that people were just using the internet a lot less in general that week, due to the advent of Fallout 4 (and for that matter any other interaction with anything, especially those things called ‘real people’ and ‘the outside world’).

Although, the amount of effort put into calling in sick must have increased.

“In many senses of the word, Fallout 4 is pornography”

In many senses of the word, Fallout 4 is pornography. The concept of it is something tabooed by society, it’s addictive, it’s fantastical and glorified, and most people guiltily enjoy the pleasure derived from it. As great a game as it might be, and having still not played the game myself, nothing, in recent times, seems to have been more overhyped than the next edition of this highly successful game series. Surely then, a shift from one mode of pleasure to another is to be expected?

It’s unlikely Pornhub have suffered too much from this blip, and traffic will have surely gone back to the way it was by now. Because porn, porn never changes.

Teddie: The most badass bear ever to bear

thecourieronline.co.uk @Courier_Gaming

What I’m playing: Persona 4: Dancing All Night Michael Hicks takes to the stage for one last dance with the crime-solving crew

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ersona 4 is one of my favourite games ever.

It’s a game about a ragtag group of Japanese high school students with magical powers trying to solve a murder mystery plaguing the small, sleepy rural town of Inaba. It’s also a game about acceptance, in which people become consumed by the darkness within; a part of themselves they wish to ignore and hide from the world. As you progress through the game; Atlus makes it increasingly clear that accepting who you are, warts and all, is key becoming a better person, and in turn helping us get more from the world around us and from life itself.

Dancing All Night’s plot treads a similar path.

Taking place not long after the events of Persona 4; resident idol Rise is planning a big comeback concert and the gang is along for the ride. Her record label have paired her up with the hottest group in town; Kanamin Kitchen. However, said group has gone missing and a cursed website has people collapsing into comas. We soon find that not everything is as rosy at it seems among the ranks of Kanamin Kitchen, they resent their manufactured personalities, not reflective of who they really are, all the while playing to an uncaring, fickle audience. It’s up to the investigation team to sort out the mess yet again, and this time they can’t use their Personas, so they only way to fight the shadows this time is to dance! It’s a contrived way to shoehorn the Project Diva-esque gameplay, but the result is still a good time, even if the plot ultimately falls flat; feeling little more than a tribute band to the original.

“Persona 4: Dancing All Night feels like a stop-gap, a warm-up to tide the fans over until the main event that is Persona 5”

Speaking of the gameplay, it’s nothing revolutionary for a rhythm game. Press buttons to the beat when they line up with the circles; if you make it to the end you’re graded on your performance.

The difficulties range from incredibly easy to Vitabreakingly ridiculous. The tracklist is somewhat robust, containing thirty-six songs, but as someone who adores Persona composer Shoji Meguro’s work, I can’t help but feel a little disappointed.

There are some amazing remixes here from the ensemble cast of DJs, and some I will seldom play again. There’s also quite a lot of downloadable content available for Dancing All Night, and holding content behind paywalls when the amount of songs available is this small and repetitive feels like a bit of a cash-grad, although Hatsune Mike of previously mentioned Project Diva fame is available to download as a playable character, which is actually pretty cool.

Persona 4: Dancing All Night feels like a stopgap, a warm-up to tide the fans over until the main event that is Persona 5. While the gameplay nor the plot are anything amazing, it’s a fun, light-hearted way to celebrate one of gaming’s most iconic soundtracks, and to wave one last goodbye to a bunch very near and dear to my heart.

Image; IwataAsks on Flickr

38.science&technology

Monday 30 November 2015

The Courier

Science Editors: Iqra Choudhry, Anna Jastrzembska, & Louise Bingham

How easy IS it to hack?

Salman Ali Virk delves into the dark world of online hacking in the wake of Anonymous’ actions against ISIS

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ollowing the atrocious attacks in Paris, the hacktivist group known as ‘Anonymous’ started a campaign against ISIS named #Opisis. As the operation picked up pace, the move was welcomed by the online community (including myself) but many law enforcing agencies complained that it would harm their intelligence gathering operations, a prediction that seems to be coming true. There have been numerous accounts of individuals and organisations being caught up in the ISIS backlash simply due to their use of the Arabic alphabet, without any specific reference to the extremists’ views. Potentially innocent Twitter users, including Kurds, Iranians and Palestinians, have been linked to the group by the “amateur” hacktivitists.

The majority of hacktivists who are part of the campaign seem to be aware of the situation. They urged participants saying: “just because a website or post is written in Arabic or is from a person of Muslim faith does not, and should not, make them a target.”

“Hackers help us find vulnerabilities and point them out, resulting in upgraded security systems”

But this is not the first time innocent bystanders have been victims of such campaigns. Back in 2011, following Sony’s suit over the notorious hacker GeoHotz (famous for iPhone and Playstation 3 jailbreak), Anonymous hacked into the Playstation Network. As a result, some 77 million registered PlayStation Network accounts were exposed for a period of 23 days. Though there was no credit

fraud on a major scale, many users complained as Anonymous who strive to bring terrorist extremtheir credit card details were easily accesism to justice, but are getting innocent sible and vulnerable during this people and inexperienced hackperiod (although it should be ers caught up in the process. noted that they were later It is key to bear in mind compensated by Sony). that whilst all hackers Hacking can have may not share the same both beneficial and motives, they can be detrimental effects characterised by their on society. In a way, sense of purpose. hackers help us find The Pranksters are vulnerabilities and the mischief-makers point them out, reof the bunch whose sulting in upgraded intention is merely security systems. to annoy. They are On the other hand, the much like those hackers also create who sound fake fire tools that allow us to alarms or phonebreak into systems, and scam people. Copywhen they fall in to cat hackers are also the wrong hands, they considered as prankcan wreck havoc. As with sters by the hacking most things in life, hackers community, while fame have the choice to use theirs seekers always hack in a skills for good, or for bad but group. Their purpose is just the fundamental skill set they to seek attention or, perhave is essentially the same. In haps, they are out to prove the digital age that we live in, their worth to other groups with more and more informathey are in competition with. tion being stored online, there is They tend to attack high profile no guarantee that everyone and their sites such as Yahoo, eBay, or NASA personal details are safe. Because of with the purpose of achieving bragthis, hacking can be a useful tool ging rights amongst their mates. in order to understand how secu- Illustration by Iqra Choudhry There are also student hackers, who rity systems work and how they can might introduce modifications for a be compromised. This is perfectly personified by video game. They are likely to justify hacking by

saying that they are sharpening their skills or expanding their computing education. Last but not least, there are criminals. These are potentially the most dangerous hackers we face on a daily basis as they attempt to obtain personal and financial details. One of the more recent, high-profile examples of this was the TalkTalk scandal were thousands of customers’ personal details were leaked with an estimated cost to the company of £35m.

“In the digital age that we live in, with more and more information being stored online, there is no guarantee that everyone and their personal details are safe”

However, it isn’t always your credit details they are targeting but “sensitive information”. The prime example of this being Wikileaks, who released private and confidential information in the name of “truth”, causing a sense of mistrust between influential figures and the general public. Such hackers can also be identified as Robin Hood hackers.

Obviously, no-one wants to become the target of any of these hackers, but fortunately for us, there are measures you can take to protect yourself. If you use a wireless network, you should be sure to use an encryption program (DES, WEP, and WPA) that will protect your device. Install an up-to-date anti-spyware sweeper because an unprotected computer is like an open door for computer hackers and predators. Stay safe out there.

Everything is not lost (yet)

Although at times it may feel like humans do nothing but wreak environmental havoc, it can be reversible. Sarah Main talks about the recovery of the River Thames, while Aino Haavisto explains the return of the world’s only truly wild horse

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n the 1830s and 40s, the Thames was declared as ‘biologically dead’. It is now considered to be the cleanest river running through a major city, and was described as having a ‘thriving ecosystem’ as of 2012.

Initially, the Thames was polluted in Victorian times by poor sewer systems leading directly into the river. This worsened during the World Wars, as the existing sewers were damaged by bombing.

Industrial pollution along the river away from the cities has also been a long-term i s sue for the river environment. It depleted oxygen supplies in the water, making it almost impossible for many organisms to survive. In the 1960s, laws were enforced to prevent the flow of polluted water into the river. Some problems have been caused by flood defense strategies, such as the high concrete banks in central London, which have increased Illustration by the flow Gustav Lundstrom r a t e , making it difficult for fish to swim

in. More recently, the main issue has become the dumping of plastics in the river, especially carrier bags. A survey found small amounts of plastic in the stomachs of 75% of the river’s marine life.

“Recent years have seen the return of porpoises, dolphins, over 120 species of fish, and even the occasional whale”

The Cleaner Thames scheme was launched in September 2015 in an attempt to combat the deposition of plastic waste in the river, encouraging volunteers to pick rubbish from the river for recycling. Improvement in conditions of the river may have also been influenced by the general decline of industry in the UK, although there are still numerous industrial sites scattered along the river bank towards the estuary. Unfortunately, Boris Johnson has recently suggested the construction of an airport on an island in the Thames estuary, which would definitely not help in reducing the levels of pollution in the area. On a more positive note, other potentially more sustainable plans have been produced to further the regeneration of the Thames and its surrounding areas, hoping to return the river to its natural, pre-industrial state.

The input from a number of environmental and sustainability schemes has vastly improved the state of the Thames. Recent years have seen the return of porpoises, dolphins, over 120 species of fish, and even the occasional whale. Even though much of the river remains murky and grey, seals can often be spotted in the Thames estuary and along the docks at Billingsgate. Regulations now apply to the river and its ecosystems, which will continue to improve the Thames and its surrounding areas.

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n our short time on the planet Earth we have managed to do a lot of harm. We have destroyed and polluted habitats, caused species extinction, and hurt other human beings as well as the environment. One of the many species that has suffered from our behaviour are wild horses.

Now, we’re not talking about the Wild American West and its mustangs, but rather the Wild East and the grasslands of Mongolia. That is where the only truly wild horse, the Przewalski’s horse, roams. These horses were nearly driven to extinction but are now slowly making a recovery, both thanks to human interference.

Unlike mustangs that originate from domesticated horses gone feral, the Przewalski’s horse has never been tamed and therefore are the world’s only true “wild horses”. Some scientists also argue that they should be described as a separate species, as their genes that control metabolism, reproduction and general behaviour differ from domesticated horses. Przewalski’s horses also look slightly different compared to most horse breeds. They are shorter, only about 4ft tall, and have a short mane that stands upright, much like the mane of zebras.

And while domestic horses have 64 chromosomes, Przewalski’s horses have 66.

“Unlike mustangs that originate from domesticated horses gone feral, the Przewalski’s horse has never been tamed”

These horses have been around since prehistoric times, but were only scientifically discovered in the 19th century by a Russian explorer Nikolai Przewalski (you can probably guess where they got

their name from). However, the last Przewalski’s horses living in freedom disappeared by the 1970’s due to hunting, land use and harsh Mongolian winters. Although they were now extinct in the wild, there were a few Przewalski’s horses l i v i n g i n zoos. Thanks to an extensive bre e d i ng p r o gramme their number has since increased from 12 up to 1500.

Once the species was no longer in immediate danger, scientists turned their focus towards returning it to freedom.

There are now around 400 horses in the reintroduction sites in Mongolia and China, where the horses live in the wild with indirect human assistance.

There are still threats to the full survival of the species, such as crossbreeding with domestic horses and, on the other hand, lack of genetic diversity and inbreeding. However, scientists are optimistic and the breeding programme has been so successful that the Przewalski’s horse is no longer classified as ‘extinct in the wild’ but ‘critically endangered’, which is a huge achievement on the road to recovery.

The Courier

Monday 30 November 2015

technology&science.39 thecourieronline.co.uk/science c2.science@ncl.ac.uk | @courier_science

There’s logic to my laziness

Leo Bear-McGuinness investigates research that tries to justify why some of us are so unproductive

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hy are we so lazy? As a student, you may ask this question to yourself on a daily basis. Personally, before writing this article, I slept in, watched TV, flicked through social media for a good hour, realised to my horror that I hadn’t a coffee, and thus immediately fled downstairs to make myself two cups. Why does this happen? How can a species that has reached such incredible feats as landing on the moon and the Cronut (croissant-donut) be capable of such apathy?

In some part, a tendency to procrastinate can be put down to our evolutionary history. Back in the good ol’ days when we hu- mans didn’t have antibiotics, plumbing or refrigeration, life tended to be considerably shorter. This harsh way of existence necessitated our nomadic ancestors to focus all of their effort into short-term goals, such as hunting. As they may have died the next day, the forbearers of modern day humans never did much in the way of planning or preparations and it is this lack of future consideration, that we still posses today, that can stop us from seizing our lives by the metaphorical horns and pointing them in the di-

rection of our dreams.

But what about the especially lazy? We all know one. Are some people just born slackers? Recent studies have revealed that inefficient connections between certain brain areas may make it difficult for a person to perform actions if not immediately necessary.

One particular experiment, conducted by neurologists at Oxford University, compared the neurological activity of participants who showed motivat i o n in a survey to a g roup w h o a p peared more apathetic.

The tests revolved around the subjects being asked to complete various tasks for different rewards. As expected, the participants that were identified as more apathetic were less likely to perform the tasks that required more effort, despite there being a larger reward for doing so. However, when the ‘lazy’ subjects did decide to undergo a task, they displayed more activity in the pre-motor cortex (a part of the brain involved in decision making) than the more motivated participants – a result that was contrary to the researcher’s predictions. Further investigations showed that apathetic people have less efficient connections between the anterior cingulate cortex and the supplementary motor area;

Weird, wacky & wonderful

sections of the brain that control decision-making and movement respectively.

“Recent studies have

revealed that inefficient connections between certain brain areas may make it difficult for a person to perform actions if not immediately necessary” Although it is as yet unclear whether these poor brain connections are genetically linked or not, there is other evidence to suggest that laziness is hereditary. Last year, scientists in China and Scotland identified a gene mutation in mice, SLC35D3, which produces a protein that blocks dopamine receptors in the brain. Mice with this gene spent significantly less time exercising than mice without the mutation, as they were receiving less dopamine (a neurotransmitter involved in reward-motivated behaviour) for their efforts. Professor John Speakman, who worked on the project, has provided gym-opposed couch potatoes everywhere with the ammo they have been waiting for, stating that “one in 200 people may have these ‘rare’ mutations”.

However, before we all happily acquiesce to our lazy and obese fates, it is important to remember the most dangerous word in genetics: for. While there may be a gene ‘for’ not wanting to exercise or a cluster of genes ‘for’ a lack of foresight of future repercussions, they do not dictate the course of our lives. Even if you are one of the unlucky few with this mutation, ‘where there’s a will, there’s a way’.

We can overcome our predispositions (so don’t let that billion word essay beat you!).

Muscae Volitantes can be a frustrating sight, wriggling around in your peripheral. But Miriam Atkinson explains that its perfectly normal

E

ver think you’ve seen a creepy crawly out of the corner of your eye but when you turn around there’s nothing there? Alright, sometimes that is because there really was a speedy ninja bug in the room, but a lot of the time what we are actually seeing is a detached protein or cell fragment within the eye itself.

Known as Muscae Volitantes, they appear as opaque black specks or sometimes black threads that drift across a person’s field of vision. The fragments are travelling through the vitreous body (also called the vitreous humor), which is the transparent gelatinous substance that fills the space between the retina at the back of the eye and the lens at the front of the eye. Occasionally the fragments can travel across the lens itself. The particles are only visible to the individual and cannot be seen in your eye by others without specialised lights and magnifying devices used by ophthalmologists.

“It can be disturbing when a spot suddenly appears across your vision” The likelihood of seeing these floating fragments increases as we get older as the eye natu-

rally deteriorates with age however it is possible for younger people and in particular short-sighted people to see them too. These tiny ‘eye floaters’ are caused when the structure of the vitreous body changes as it naturally dries and thins. It is only when they pass close to the retina that we can see them.

Although it can be disturbing when a spot suddenly appears across your vision, they are totally harmless and cannot lead to a loss or deterioration of sight. A person has an increased chance of seeing the fragments after they have stared at a bright surface for too long, such as the sky, a white wall, or even the page of a book. People who do see the particles throughout their life simply get used to them and ignore them as they do not cause any problems.

“The likelihood of seeing these floating fragments increases as we get older” However, while muscae volitantes is usually completely benign, it can sometimes be a symptom of a larger issue. If the lens or retina is damaged a person can see a much greater increase of the opaque fragments yet be unable to see the damage to the rest of the eye. If you are concerned visit an ophthalmologist.

Word of the Week:

Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis This word irritates me deeply. There is no reason for it to exist as far as I can tell other than to be the longest word in the English language. What it actually describes is a lung disease caused by inhalation of very fine particles of ash or sand, resulting in inflammation or scarring; artificially derived, nonetheless, by the President of the National Puzzlers’ League in 1935. Must have been a slow week on the crossword front. Do you feel enriched now, enlightened? I thought not. My inner etymologist burns with rage. As does the rest of me.

Ollie Burton

Science of happiness Anna Jastrzembska wonders whether happiness is other people

I

f you ask my friends, they’ll tell you that I say: “food/coffee/books/animals are better than people” at least once a day. I would describe myself as antisocial on the best of days.

However, I can’t deny that humans are social creatures by nature- it’s an undeniable scientific fact. Researchers continuously show that quantity and quality of social connections impact not only our psychological wellbeing, but also longevity and health in general. Before you panic, let’s stress it one more time: quality. Quality is important. Suffering fools is bad for you.

Humans are evolutionary meant to live in groups, to bond with others and create relationships. Survival of homo sapiens as a species is most likely in a group- not necessarily a family. Not without reason scientists continue to claim that emotions and behaviours such as love, generosity, compassion or empathy are uniquely human. The need to love and be loved, to care and be cared for are fundamental human needs. Because of that, we are reluctant to break bonds with other people and

“As humans, we are wired to care for each other to ensure the survival of the species”

it hurts to do so.

Getting to know more people, especially in your local environment (such as neighbours and coursemates), makes you feel safer and more secure. The feeling of belonging generates happiness- not only yours, but also those around you. It’s the contagiousness of happiness that makes communities flourish. Simple things like a smile or a random act of kindness can make somebody’s day and make you happier, too. Sharing your bag of crisps, giving a cup of coffee to a homeless person or explaining a complicated concept to a struggling coursemate can make a day for both of you. The same goes for volunteering. Even one-off projects have been shown to boost happiness. As humans, we are simply wired to care for each other to ensure the survival of the species.

This is also why the happiest people tend to be from the countries that rank high in social support and generosity categories. Mind you, it doesn’t necessarily link in with wealth. It explains why Mexicans are happier than Americans, and Venezuelans rank higher than inhabitants of Singapore.

The statistics are worth having a closer look at.

Countries in Northern Europe always top happiness rankings, but Swedes or Finns aren’t known for their extreme socialness. That’s because it’s not the quantity of the human contact that is important for our happiness, but the quality. Knowing that there is someone (whether it’s a friend or a wider social structure or community) out there to support you, someone you can fall back on if you need, is invaluable to our happiness. It’s about how close-knit a community is, rather than having a thousand Facebook friends. Research found that people are happier if they have at least one close friend, however, their happiness doesn’t increase the wider their social network is. On the other hand, lack of close personal ties makes you not only more psychologically vulnerable, but is as bad for your health as smoking or obesity, while poor quality relationships are a source of unnecessary stress and pain.

Positive emotions are bases for all kinds of relationships. Yes, we’ve all heard about “a friend in deed,” but it’s the positive experiences that bring people close in the first place. Experiencing positive emotions together, sharing good things that happened to you or just cracking a joke- all of these are meant to strengthen social ties. Eventually, it’s the close relationships we lean on in times of need and it’s the memory of the good times you’ve had together that help you get through the hardships.

Wide social networks might higher your self-esteem, but it’s your friends and loved ones that give our lives a meaning, and it’s them who make us happy. So, if you call yourself my friend, this one is to you, guys!

42.puzzles

Monday 30 November 2015

The Courier

Puzzles Editor: Jack Parker Deputy Puzzles Editor: Mark Sleightholm

Puzzles ?? ?

Can you guess where the hell we’ve taken this photo, and why?

1

2

3

5

4

7

6

8 9 10

11

12

13 15

14

16

17 18

19

21

20 22

“I’m Roy Walker and I heartily endorse this event and/or product”

23 24 25

26

Across

1 Form of protest that involves avoidance (7) 5 City, Duran Duran song (3) 7 Pre-nuptial party for the bride-to-be (5) 8 ___ Gay, song about atomic bombing of Hiroshima and Nagasaki (5) 9 Naked, empty (4) 12 Spiro ___, former Vice President of US (5) 13 eg. Black Friday (4) 15 State of relaxation and dreams (6) 17 Literary sisters from Yorkshire (6) 19 Container for food (4) 21 Rapper u can’t touch (2, 6) 22 External or excluded (3) 23 Finished (4) 24 Mother’s ruin, developed by the Dutch (3) 25 Provider of foundation courses to international students (4) 26 Kevin ___, South African tennis player (8)

Fighter

Down

1 Caribbean archipelagic country (7) 2 Secret writing (4) 3 1980s soap opera set on a ferry (8) 4 The colour of environmentalism, naivety and envy (5) 5 Underground support for trees (4) 6 Squashed circle (4) 10 Society without authority (7) 11 Agressive birds (4) 13 Eject unexpectedly (4) 14 Political popularity contest (8) 18 Japanese pictograph (5) 19 Wide, fat, open, varied (5) 20 House of, mostly old men (5)

Connectword

Fly

Find the word that connects these three words.

Extinguisher

____

Completing the entirety of this puzzles page will entitle you to the respect of (some of) your peers.

Feel free to bring the proof of your achievement into The Courier office, where you’ll receive a firm handshake. If you’re one of the first three people to bring in a correctly completed page, you’ll also win a Hotel Chocolat advent calendar!

The Courier

Monday 30 November 2015

A Question of Sport

sportfeatures.43 Sports Puzzles Editor: Alex Hendley Deputy Sports Puzzles Editors: Mark Sleightholm & Calum Wilson

Can you list all the differences between the photos below?

The first letter to each answer spells out an anagram of a famous sport personality 1. Who did Chelsea beat in the 2009 FA Cup final?

2. Which golfer dated Caroline Wozniaki?

3. In which city is the cricket ground formerly known as the Rose Bowl?

4. Japanese martial art developed by Morihei Ueshiba 5. Norwich City and Northern Ireland forward (and previous Burnley hero) 6. Athletics star tripped by segway 7. Surname of Kenyan 800m Olympic champion 8. Who broke the record for circumnavigating the world in 2005?

9. The film Cool Runnings was based on which sport?

Images: Yann Caradec at Flickr, Wikimedia Commons

Can you link the event to the year?

First Football World 1979 Cup Seb Coe wins Olympic gold in Moscow

1914

Johnny Wilkinson is born

2003

Seve Ballesteros dies

2007

Roger Federer wins his first Wimbledon title

1930

Burnley win the FA Cup

Image: nic_r at Flickr

Shane Warne retires from international cricket

1980 2011

44.sportfeatures

Monday 30 November 2015

The Courier

Fan-tache-tic effort as footy lads raise over £1,700 for Movember

NUAFC had mixed results in terms of tache performance Image: Brandon Few

By Alex Hendley Sports Editor It was that time of the year once again, when the manliest of beings battle it out over who can grow the best facial hair.

This year, Newcastle University’s men’s football team had a go at being masters of the moustache for the Movember Foundation charity, managing to raise a sum in excess of £1,700, an amount they hope to raise to £2,000.

There were mixed results when it came to whisker cultivation as some of

Bilzerians should keep their faces furry for the duration of the winter months and beyond.

However, boycotting your shaver for a month does seem to have its drawbacks.

Taylor’s regrets include “the bang average jokes that come with the territory of growing a moustache”, this article presumably included. Jacob Bunn’s “worst tache” award was not unwarranted and must have earned him the majority of the stick as his poor attempt was invisible to the naked eye.

On top of the mediocre banter surrounding Movember, Taylor also high-

“The best thing about growing a ‘tache is definitely increasing your alpha male status by a good 50%” the lads discovered they perhaps weren’t as alpha as first thought, while others asserted their facial dominance with full testosterone filled effect.

Jack Taylor, the NUAFC captain shared his thoughts on the best and worst things about growing his own very hairy caterpillar.

“The best thing about growing a ‘tache is definitely increasing your alpha male status by a good 50%; there’s definitely an innate respect between males with facial hair and for many of our boys that feeling is definitely hard to come by.” If this so called alpha-male status is directly related to positive results, perhaps Newcastle’s own Dan

lighted the issue of female attention.

“The love lives of most of the lads has been nonexistent (not much different to normal), as most of the ladies don’t like the ‘pedo on day release’ look.”His words, not mine.

One man who’s aesthetics surely haven’t been hindered by the hairy top lip is Nick Harrison, completing his full Hulk Hogan handlebars in emphatic style.

The team are continuing to raise money through to December, so if you want to help the boys reach their £2,000 goal donations can be made through individual players’ sponsor pages.

Man of the Tache: Jack Taylor presents Nick Harrison the trophy Image: Calum Wilson

Billy bum fluff: despite a month of ‘growth’, some weren’t impressive Image: Calum Wilson

The Courier

sportfeatures.45

Monday 30 November 2015

Helen is horsing around: meet the Chemical Engineer student competing for Great Britain Sports Editor Calum Wilson caught up with Helen McAll after her return from representing Great Britain Student Riders at the AIEC World University Equestrian competition in the Netherlands Equestrian is a sport that many know little about. It entered the public eye during the London 2012 Olympics when the vast media coverage of the games meant that viewers at home could flick through numerous channels and watch sports that, before, they had limited knowledge of.

However, for some, like 3rd year Chemical Engineer student Helen McAll, Equestrian, or horse riding more widely, has been their life. McAll recent-

“I was really lucky to get to Romania”, claims McAll. “I don’t know how he did it but he managed to get some fabulous all the way to Romania. We were in the middle of nowhere and there was no phone signal or anything.”

Despite the long trek across Europe and the lack of contact with the outside world, McAll excelled in her individual performance, coming 6th in Dressage and 10th overall. Not only could McAll boast being in the top 10 young riders

“I was so proud, it’s been like a dream to compete for my country” ly realised a life-long dream by being selected to compete for Great Britain Student Riders at competitions in Romania and in the Netherlands.

The competitions are split into two sections, Dressage and Show Jumping.

The most recent competition took place over the course of a long, cold November weekend in Zwiep, Netherlands.

McAll and her two British teammates managed a very impressive 6th placed finish out of the 15 nations taking part.

“I was so proud, it’s been like a dream to compete for my country”, McAll proudly exclaims. The international competition allowed McAll to ride some of the best horses in the world.

“The Dutch are renowned for having really nice horses, so that aspect of it was really good.”

Despite the 6th place finish, McAll believes the British team were deserving of an even better result. “We did really well, it was just a shame that the judges didn’t go our way.” McAll describes how the judges play a vital role in the scoring system. “The first two rounds are quite subjective on the judge’s opinion”, she explains, “but hopefully next time it’ll go our way.”

The event saw the gathering of 45 of the best young riders from all over the world; Germany, Ireland and hosts Netherlands amongst those with the best pedigree. Individually, McAll finished in 19th for Dressage and 23rd for Show Jumping, giving the Newcastle undergraduate an overall position of 21st out of the 45.

It’s not the first time McAll has represented her country. The riding star was first called up to the Great Britain Student Riders team in May this year, where she travelled out to Romania.

The trip proved an eye-opening experience for McAll. “We were in the middle of Transylvania and the person who owned the place where it was, was the first person to bring a car into the village.”

in the world, but also outperformed her compatriots, making her the best young rider in Britain.

The continued success has got McAll dreaming of more international competitions. “My aim would be to go to the University World Championships which is in Sweden next June and that would be incredible. They only come around every 2 years, so that would be the goal.”

Back on the toon, McAll is the President of the Newcastle University Equestrian club, where expansion has been the latest development. “We’ve got three teams now. Last year I was made President and I really wanted a C team. If you only have 2 teams then there’s not as many spaces, it’s a lot nicer to make it bigger and it gives more people a chance.”

The expansion has given McAll and her team increased hope of success at BUCS (British University and College Sports) level. “Our aim, and I think we can do it, is for the A-team to win all their competitions and I think we have a really strong B team as well, so hopefully go to regionals and do well with both of them.”

With international experience now under her belt, McAll doesn’t rule out leading her team onto further progress at the BUCS Nationals. With more teams meaning increased competition, McAll foresees the potential for good efforts across the board. “I definitely think the B team will get through to the Nationals, I’m hoping the A team will too but it’s quite a hard regionals competition.”

Last year McAll impressed on the national stage with solid all round performances for Team Newcastle. “I got to Nationals last year, I came 5th in Show Jumping, which was really good, although it’s there’s a certain amount of luck involved.”

Indeed, it seems the young rider’s results were, on this occasion limited

3rd year student Helen McAll poses with her BUCS rosettes Image: Calum Wilson by an unfortunate draw and a rather fatigued horse. “You draw your horse and I drew last and my horse was really tired so that was a bit of a shame. The horse knocked a couple of poles down and meant I didn’t make it through to the final, but I couldn’t have really asked for more.”

and her Newcastle teammates hosted their A team competition against Northumbria and Sunderland, winning comfortably by over 100 points and picking up just 26 penalties, to Northumbria’s 156. “You obviously have an advantage when you’re at home with BUCS competitions because you know

all down to the horse, but it’s about your riding more than the horse and how well you can adapt to the horse.”

“In Show Jumping you have two minutes then you’re in, so you really have to adapt quite quickly”, she explains. “I’ve been doing this since I could walk really. I’ve always been quite lucky that

“My aim would be to go to the University World Championships which is in Sweden next June, that would be incredible. They only come around every 2 years, so that would be the goal” As McAll explains, Equestrian results aren’t always a fair reflection of a rider’s abilities and it can come down to the animal’s temperament. “That’s horses though, you might get a horse that might not be feeling like it on the day or it might completely throw its toys out the pram.”

At the beginning of November, McAll

all the horses and you’ve ridden them all, so that worked in our favour this time.”

Equestrian isn’t just about the nature of the horse though, the sport combines that with the skill of the rider, a skill that Helen McAll has proven to have in abundance. McAll explains, “with the sport of horses, a lot of people think it’s

I’ve been able to ride a variety of horses, that’s really helped me.”

McAll will hope to continue to fire on three levels next year (regional, national and international). 2016 may yet prove to be the most fruitful yet, as she leads her Newcastle team, inevitably, to more success, all with the constant ambition to reach Sweden in June.

46.sportbucs Gus’ Club of the Week

Monday 30 November 2015

The Ultimate prize: Frisbee girls win Northern Uni regional finals Ultimate

By Katie Ackerley

By Alex Hendley Sports Editor This week’s club of the week chosen by AU officer Angus Taylor is the Newcastle University Badminton Club, who won both their cup games 8-0 and 7-1 this week to progress to the next round.

Club President Emma Hallett expressed her pride at the club’s performance so far this season, after these impressive victories last Wednesday.

“The Badminton Club have had a very successful season so far this year, with two out of our four squads yet to be defeated in their BUCS leagues.

“This week both first team squads progressed through to the next stage of their League 1 trophy tournament, a fantastic achievement for all players involved.”

It’s not just the experienced squads that are performing to an exceptional standard either, as Hallet explains.

“We have a brand new women’s second team this year who are going strong at the top of their league and training

Last weekend saw 27 teams descend on Leeds for the Northern University Women’s Indoor Ultimate Championships, a tournament that is not only very time consuming to type, but also selects to best teams of the North to progress to BUCS Nationals early in the New Year.

For the first time in history, Newcastle fielded three teams comprising of 23 players, which provided an added challenge as a captain before games even began. However, despite a lot of moaning (mainly from me), everyone was up and out of bed for 6am on the Saturday morning ready to take on the best the North has to offer.

None of us knew what to expect from the other teams. Because of the nature of the sport, the turnover of players can be high; meaning the teams at the top can constantly change. All we knew was that our first team had a shot at the final and we were going to do all we could to get there.

Saturday morning started us off easily with two 13-0 wins over Leeds and Sheffield’s second teams which boosted confidence, however, the third game against York 1sts had us scared. It was

already half way through the first day and we hadn’t faced a first team yet, never mind one that could match our skills and speed. We were worried that York, who had already played a tough match against Durham 1sts, would bring an intensity that we hadn’t had to deal with yet. Our worries were misguided. We comfortably beat them 12-4, completely shutting down their messy offence.

After facing yet another 2nd team, we moved on to Durham 1sts. The local rivalry would decide who would win the group and therefore who would progress to the semi-finals and get automatic qualification for Nationals. It was a tight first half and we all had visions of a sudden death game, which would have been our 3rd this season, as a club, against Durham. However, after a minor swearing outbreak from myself, we got our heads down and gritted it out to take the game, and the top spot, 6-3.

That evening, we journeyed down to Manchester to spend the night in our vice-captain’s mansion which has a seemly endless supply of mattresses. 8 family size lasagnes were stuffed in the oven as we all congratulated ourselves for the day’s victories. The second team had won two games and the third team had improved and gelled so much as a team throughout the course of the day, so everyone was celebrating. The early

“We hope to continue the great results through to the end of the year, with the help of our two fantastic coaches, Rob and Martin, who continue to work incredibly hard” exceptionally hard, the results are definitely paying off!

“I’d like to personally thank all of the squad players for working so hard during this season, they are all extremely dedicated individuals and the club wouldn’t be in such a strong position without their continued enthusiasm.”

However, the season doesn’t end here. With Christmas approaching the badders heroes are keen not to let their game slip, looking to finish 2015 with a flourish.

“We hope to continue the great results through to the end of the year, with the help of our two fantastic coaches, Rob and Martin, who continue to work incredibly hard to ensure all of our squads remain at a high standard.”

The women’s team have been particularly impressive this season, topping the Northern 1A division ahead of rivals Northumbria, after their derby victory a few weeks ago.

Speaking to the women’s captain Beth Vickerman, it’s clear to see the ladies are in a confident mood in regards to the cup.

“Everyone played really well and we were very good all round. We had some celebratory drinks on the way home and are really looking forward to playing Birmingham in the next round.”

Next week, the men play Manchester who lie just above them in the table, while the women seek to extend their lead with a win over Leeds Beckett.

The Courier

Captain Katie Ackerley (front, centre) shows off the trophy Image: Dianne Marquez Lopez morning had taken its toll though as everyone was heading off to bed around 10pm.

Certain of our qualification, the firsts only had a semi and a final to focus on all day. A three way tie in another pool had left last year’s national champions, Loughborough, stuck in the 5 to 16 triple elimination bracket, leaving newcomers University of Central Lancashire and Leicester, along with our

6-5 up and with every bit of our energy drained. We’d done it, we’d finally beaten Leeds and the best part was the disgusted look on their moody captain’s face as the final buzzer went.

We watched our seconds become the highest placed second team in the region, beating a first team on the way, but with an hour to wait before the final but we weren’t feeling the pressure.

We’d put so much into the Leeds game

“We journeyed down to Manchester to spend the night in our vice-captain’s mansion” long-time rivals, Leeds, with us in the top group.

The seeding left Leeds and us in the same semi final, a game which many had predicted to be the final. A long warm up, some icy drills in the street, and a heart-felt team talk prepared us to do something that none of us had ever done before; beat Leeds. We started strong, taking a 2-0 lead, however they quickly pulled it back and we traded blows until the last few minutes. We came out of the incredibly tense game

Disc-overing potential: Newcastle are hoping for success at the BUCS Nationals next year Image: Dianne Marquez Lopez

that a final against Leicester, who had looked unpolished at best, throughout the day, felt like a bit of anti-climax.

Trying to stay focused, we approached the game like it was any other and slot in 3 slick points before they even had a chance. That’s when the complacency struck. Drops and throwaways on our part allowed them to even the score with only a few minutes left. However, we used our wealth of experience playing together to outclass them to take the regional title.

Wednesday 25th November results

Overall BUCS Position: 10th

Badminton M1 v Heriot Watt 1sts W1 v Dundee 1sts

8-0 7-1

Football M1 v Abertay Dundee 1sts W2 v Leeds Trinity 1sts

1-0 1-5

Basketball W1 v Edinburgh 1sts

72-78

Golf 1 v Liverpool 2nds 2 v Bangor 1sts

6-0 1-5

Fencing M1 v Durham 1sts M2 v Bradford 1sts M3 v Manchester 2nds W1 v Durham 1sts W2 v Aberdeen 1sts W3 v Northumbria 1sts

90-132 124-134 58-135 134-116 99-135 135-113

Hockey M1 v Manchester 1sts 1-1 (6-5 flicks) W1 v Edinburgh 2nds 3-3 (4-2 penalties) W2 v Sheffield Hallam 2nds 5-0

Lacrosse M1 v Aberdeen 1sts M2 v Liverpool 1sts W1 v Nottingham 1sts W2 v Edinburgh 1sts W3 v Keele 1sts

18-2 2-16 7-8 2-27 5-4

Netball 1 v Loughborough 1sts 2 v Edinburgh 1sts 3 v Liverpool 2nds

23-50 28-62 35-44

Rugby Union M1 v Northumbria 1sts M2 v Leeds Beckett 2nds M3 v York St John 1sts M5 v Northumbria 3rds

24-21 0-31 64-7 50-5

Rugby League 1 v Hull 1sts

6-52

Squash M1 v Leeds Beckett 1sts M2 v Lancaster 1sts M3 v Hull 1sts W1 v Bangor 1sts W2 v Keele 2nds

4-1 4-1 2-1 4-0 3-1

Table Tennis M1 v Aberdeen 1sts W3 v Durham 1sts

9-2 0-5

Tennis M1 v Keele 1sts M2 v Leeds Beckett 5ths W2 v York St John 1sts

10-2 2-10 10-2

Volleyball M1 v York St John 1sts

3-0

The Courier

sportbucs.47

Monday 30 November 2015

Royals serve up York on a plate Men’s Volleyball Newcastle 1sts

3

York St John 1sts

0

By James Sproston at the Sports Centre Newcastle made short work of a tame York St John side in a convincing 3-0 win. After two walkovers on the bounce, the Newcastle Royals were relieved to be finally able to play a match.

To avoid any rustiness, Nathan Fullerton was drafted in to DJ during the warm-up. If John Cena isn’t enough to motivate a team for a BUCS Northern Conference Cup match then I don’t know what is. Newcastle received the first serve of the game and quickly won the point. That was followed by five consecutive points scored from Guglielmo Cultrera serves that York couldn’t handle.

to wrap up the first set, 25-17.

Marek Grzesiowski kicked off the second set for York but his serve didn’t make it past the net. Jen Zhou Chin then opened the scoring for the set after a dime from Del Hierro Cadena. Even libero Adarsh Rai got in on the act, scoring direct from a return.

The next four points were scored by Pontes, all of which set up by the Royals’ Number 1. Then, after rotating to the back of the court, served two aces before being withdrawn for Maks Marzec whilst Del Hierro Cadena was replaced

by Marios Moskofidis, whose first involvement was to place the ball up for Gian Montevecchi to spike over.

The new setter put two winners on a plate for Cultrera, who then extended the lead with two well-placed serves that the opposition couldn’t return. Although York won the next point, their poor service rounded off the set with Newcastle coming out as 25-14 victors.

The Royals set off in the third set like they had a train to catch, racing into an

“To avoid any rustiness, Nathan Fullerton was drafted in to DJ... If John Cena isn’t enough to motivate a team... then I don’t what is” In response to two points scored by York, Raphael Pontes leapt to score a winner and then fired over two aces.

This prompted Newcastle into their groove, with Pablo Fernando Del Hierro Cadena setting regularly for his teammates to spike.

The Royals were also impressive at the net, with offensive blocks from Cultrera, Ryan Dearden and Pontes helping stretch their lead further. Thomas Catapano came off the bench for Pontes and, after being blocked at the first attempt, was set up by Number 1 Del Hierro Cadena to score his first point of the match.

The setter then plated up two chances that Dearden and Catapano finished off

8-0 lead, including a blindingly powerful spike from Marzec and the touch of a feather from Pontes to help the ball over the net.

Continuing his fine form, Cultrera spiked over from a Rai dig and a Moskofidis set. Winners from Marzec, Catapano and two from Dearden drew Newcastle closer to clinching the third set. Del Hierro Cadena returned to the court and set up four more, including a well-improvised spike from Chin.

Once Catapano had punished York for some more sloppy handwork, Piotr Banaszek hit an ace for his first point of the evening. The game was wrapped up by usual-provider Del Hierro Cadena.

A Royal service: NUVC slammed past the York poly Image: James Sproston For his first he touched over a Marzec set, and finished the game with a spike after a Rai dig was plated up for him by Ryan Dearden.

The post-match debrief was simple.

Quite rightly, the coach identified that Newcastle were the better side but need to work on the basics when against such inferior opposition. He added that so long as the team start strong then they can control the game.

From my point of view, there was plenty of evidence to show that Newcastle were the significantly better side.

Winners from the York St John side can

be counted on one hand, so the vast majority of their points were from Newcastle errors.

Newcastle could well have wrapped up the match a lot earlier if they had just

against the harder sides.

With this win, Newcastle are through to the Quarter Finals of the Northern Conference Cup, and will play either Edge Hill or Keele in that tie. Next week,

“The Royals set off in the third set like they had a train to catch, racing into an 8-0 lead” kept their plays simple, since ‘winners’ weren’t necessary to score points against this calibre of opposition. Having said that, it’s important for the team to practice the skills and drills that will be used

the lads play top of the table University of York in a hotly-anticipated encounter. York came out as 3-1 winners when the sides faced in October, so Newcastle will be looking to get some payback.

Female Blades cut above Fencing

By James Sproston W’s 3rds 135-113 Northumbria 1sts The afternoon’s fencing was kicked off by the Women’s 3rds against the old enemy in the épée. In the remote, scenic location of Unit 3 in Benfield Business Park, captain Arran Mackay conclusively won the 9th match 5-1 to reach a score of 45-36.

In the following round, Mackay battled well in a tense deciding match, but lost 4-6, as Northumbria pipped Newcastle 44-45 in the foil, even though both Lia Thamrin and Sonja Felder ripped through one opponent in under half the allotted time.

To win, all Newcastle had to do was to reach 38 in the final weapon, the sabre. Newcastle dominated throughout, winning all but one of the nine matches, with Ana Pîrnău wrapping up the contest in the eighth match.

The overall score of 135-113 was representative of the dominant performance by this talented side, three of which (Sonja Felder, Irene de Best and Saravi Ratwatte) only took up the sport in October. The girls have won 4 out of 4 so far this year and look to be favourites for promotion at the end of the year.

M’s 1st 90-132 Durham 1st

W’s 1st 134-116 Durham 1st

Unfortunately the men couldn’t replicate the women’s electric form. However they battled hard, with President Nav Kandhari drawing the seventh match 5-5, with his dynamic ‘bobbing’ approach.

In the sabre, the lads did themselves more justice. Frenchman Olivier Tournié initially struggled but recovered well to contribute to the score with some nifty bladework.

However the stand-out performer was Ginn Artesi. The sabreur finished with an indicator of +9, and finished the fifth match as a 6-0 winner. His style relies on his electric footwork, aided by his Theo Walcott Mercurial boots.

Despite this success, the lads again couldn’t compete with the Durham team, this time in the épée. Once again, Nav Kandhari was the stand-out fencer.

Having only started competing in the sport since he came to university, el Presidente has had a meteoric rise to the top.

Both Matt Bannon and Waleed Aldadah battled hard, and were unfortunate not to reap more from their efforts. The 45-28 scoreline flattered the opposition, but overall it’s probably fair to say that Durham were the better side, and deserved the win.

Whilst the men struggled, the women demonstrated a masterclass in fencing.

Having only brought four competitors, the team had to demonstrate versatility.

Molly Jowsey and Maddie Ivanova participated in all three weapons.

After getting off to a slow start in the épée, Ellie Ivanova led the resurgence scoring seven in the third match. Jowsey wrapped up the first weapon by fencing well to give Newcastle a 44-41 lead. The girls extended their lead greatly, with Maddie Ivanova winning all three of her matches, and Ellie Ivanova finishing it off with a 5-0 whitewash in the final match.

For the sabre Ellie Irwin replaced Ellie Ivanova. The switch proved to work in Newcastle’s favour as the game was clinched 45-42 by an exceptional performance from Maddie Ivanova in the final match, winning 8-2. The overall score of 134-116 was what the girls’ deserved.

The win consolidates Newcastle’s second place in the Premier Division, as main competitors Durham lost ground to St Andrews. Although it’s a tough ask to catch Edinburgh at this stage, the team will look to continually improve throughout the season and hopefully challenge for the Fencing Championship that kicks off in February.

Sport

www.thecourieronline.co.uk Monday 30 November 2015 Issue 1322 Free

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A QUESTION OF SPORT QUIZ P.43

Sports Editors: Alex Hendley, Calum Wilson & Lewis Bedford courier.sport@ncl.ac.uk Twitter: @Courier_Sport | Instagram: thecouriersport

MOVEMBER FEATURE P.44

GB EQUESTRIAN INTERVIEW P.45

Ultimate crowned regional champions p.46

Jumping for joy: the 1sts celebrate their regional dominance Image: Dianne Marquez Lopez

Annual darts night hits the spot

By Gabriel Pennington at the Students’ Union After proving to be a smash-hit in last year’s student union calendar, the Newcastle Uni Darts Society again hosted its annual showpiece last Thursday night.

The University-wide darts competition, which attracted over 150 spectators in 2014, has become a must-attend event for even the most inexperienced of competitors.

Mark Dickinson, student of medical chemistry and President/Captain of the Darts Society, was aiming to build on the success that was last year’s tournament. “The biggest success of 2014 for the club was that we didn’t expect so many people to turn up.”

“Ignoring a couple of people falling through tables at last year’s event, it all ran perfectly, and our club has certainly become bigger because of it. We started in 2008 and at that time only had about 8 regulars. This year, we’re expecting an Ally-Pally sort of atmosphere. But more rowdy.”

As well as the club having a significant social aspect, it also has a competitive presence in the North of the country. “We’ve got 2 teams in the Northern

League, and our 1sts are unbeaten so far this year and sitting on top of the table,” explained Dickinson.

16 teams of 4 battled it out last week for the trophy and the prize pot, which was made up of £100 and crate of Carling. The short-price favourites for the title entering the round of 16 were The Treble Makers, a team that included 2 of the Uni’s 1st team stars.

However, according to Dickinson, Michael Van Gherkin, who sat on the other side of the draw, posed a significant threat to the rest of the competition. Other outside contenders included Projectile Dysfunction, The Brokeback Bulls-eyes, and the Dart Vaders.

Bulls-eyes’ representative and Captain of the Law intra-mural rugby side Gav Murphy described why he thinks the event has become so popular. “The atmosphere is great, people are only here for beer, and for darts. And that’s a refreshing thing to hear.”

A number of the less experienced sides crashed out after the first round, including a disappointing early exit from the Bulls-eyes. Yet, the most surprising exit was the by The Treble Makers, who just couldn’t make the grade in their first match.

8 sides then headed into the quarters,

and the other 8 headed to the STUBREW stand who were at the event promoting their student-made real ale. The headline showdowns of the quarters were the clashes between Oliver Clements and Michael Van Gherkin, as well as The Time Wasters and Henry Agnew.

Van Gherkin took an early lead and held on throughout the match, and became the first side to make the semifinals. The Time Wasters out-slogged their opposition in a 20-minute match, when Alex Hay landed a double-1 to take the win in a fiercely fought encounter.

Those two winners were then to meet in the first of semis, with Once You Go Black You Never Go Back and Johny’s Big Black Jonc to fight for the other place in the final.

The teams entered the first of the matches to the sounds of rapper Skepta, and it didn’t take long for Michael Van Gherkin to shutdown their opponents and take control of the match. After less than 10 minutes behind the oche, they became the first team to reach the final.

They were shortly followed by Johny’s Big Black Jonc, who eliminated the favourites The Treble Makers in their first round bout.

A rousing rendition of “Stand up,

if you love the darts” was sung by the crowd as the two finalists entered the arena facing the challenge of 1 doubles and 2 singles matches. The first to win 2 of the matches would take the title.

Van Gherkin undoubtedly went in as the favourites, having dispatched each of its opponents without any difficulty throughout the night. Jamie Logue, captain of Jony’s Big Black Jonc, described their journey to the final as “entirely down to luck.”

“However, I took my team to the title last year, and we’re now 7 matches unbeaten overall. This is a new side, but last year we managed to break the trophy almost instantly, so we’re gonna try and make amends when we win this time.”

The first singles match went down to the wire, with JBBJ pushing Van Gherkin to the final leg. But the confidence of the JBBJ turned out to be unfounded, as the match came to an abrupt end. Before the 3rd and deciding match even had a chance to begin, the Van Gherkin doubles side broke the deadlock and dispatched their two opponents.

Less than a minute later, captain of the Van Gherkin side Jack Almond, took out the third and final leg of his singles match to the cheers of the on

looking students. “We’re absolutely delighted with the result this evening. I had a feeling we might win it tonight,” explained Almond, with the trophy in his arms.

“It turned out to be a tough competition in the final. This is our first time playing darts together as a team, we weren’t in the competition last year. But, I mean, we were still pretty confident about it, and next year, same again!”

The Michael Van Gherkin 4-man team also took home the £100 cash prize. What would they do with it?

“Sinners. What else can I say?” was the definitive answer given by Captain Almond.

With its increasing popularity each year, President Dickinson only sees his society and the event improving and gaining more traction. He wants to encourage beginners to see what the society has to offer, since the club doesn’t gain much exposure on a regular basis.

“A lot of people who are quite good feel like they’re not good enough for the darts team. But I’d encourage everyone to just come down give it a go. We’re a very sociable bunch, and that’s one of the big focuses of the team.”

The Darts Society meets every Tuesday evening at 7pm in the Union.