Courier 1323

www.thecourieronline.co.uk Monday 7 December 2015 Issue 1323 Free

The Independent Voice of Newcastle Students Est 1948 TRACK THAT TURTLE A science student SEASONAL FILMS CHRISTMAS LOOKS The top 10 Christmas Fashion and beauty inspiration special p.41 movies, as voted by you p.32 in time for the party season p.20

Photo Credit: Nick Goldsmith

Image: Holly Wheeler

Fine art postcard auction raises over £7000, p.5

The Courier comes runner up at Student Media Awards

By Antonia Velikova News Editor The Courier grabbed the runner-up award in the Student Publication of the Year category at the Guardian Student Media Awards last week.

Upstaged only by tabloid Roar from King’s College London, The Courier was in competition with Exepose from Exeter, I, Science from Imperial, and Nouse from York.

“I’m really, really proud of all the work we did last year, and to have that recognised by such a massively respected media group is really gratifying,” said Tom Nicholson, last year’s Editor of The Courier. “The judges thought that we had “a proper sense of humour”, which is one of the main things I wanted to get right last year, so that was particularly pleasing.”

Tom was joined at the awards by current Editor Victoria Armstrong and ex-Culture Editor Kate Bennett. The ceremony took place at The Guardian’s offices in London on Tuesday 1 December.

“It’s great to see so many talented young individuals with such a passion for journalism,” said Katharine Viner, Editor-in-Chief of The Guardian. “I’m delighted to have been a part of the judging panel and am excited about hearing more from this exceptional group in the future.”

Two new categories were introduced to the awards this year - Student Media Startup of the Year and Student Multimedia Journalist of the Year.

The Guardian Student Media Awards are an annual event to distinguish student media successes throughout the year.

The awards were judged by a panel of journalists from across the industry.

The ceremony was introduced by Jonathan Freedland and hosted by Rick Edwards.

“Seeing as the winners of the award, Roar from King’s College, are a tabloid, I’m claiming this as an unofficial win for us as best broadsheet,” Tom Nicholson said. “Also Rick Edwards said he liked my shoes. I mean, he didn’t say it verbally, but you could just tell. His eyes gave him away.”

Chemistry students launch petition for computer cluster

By Imogen Scott-Chambers

Last week, impassioned Chemistry students and members of the NU:KEM society launched a petition against the booking of computer clusters by external students.

They aim to secure a cluster which will be reserved especially for them in the Bedson Building.

Many chemistry students are becoming increasingly frustrated at having nowhere to work, especially when various clusters in the Bedson Building are being booked for teaching even if the computers are not being used, leaving the chemistry students unable to work there and computers being unused.

The Bedson building is home to over

30 computer clusters but these are quite often booked by other courses and the chemists get removed from the room, even if all the computers aren’t being used The chemistry students want either a permanently free computer cluster that cannot be booked out, or a classroom that is rarely used to be turned into a computer room especially for them.

The petition is already gathering a lot of momentum with 204 supporters on the online petition at the time of print. A further 296 signatures are needed to reach the attention of Newcastle University’s senior staff.

The issue in question has been raised in the past at various staff/student liaison committees but no progress has

“As most of us obviously realise, chemistry is the foundation of life, and if we do not support our cluster then we are directly harming life””

been made and students have finally decided to take the matter into their own hands. Even this year, the topic has been unsettled at meetings.

Luke O’Neill, chemistry student and one of the main orchestrators of the petition said: ‘It has been brought up at nearly every student ambassador meeting this year and they say they will sort something and it has never happened’.

It is not just a handful of students that feel this way, the petition website is flooded with arguments and supporting comments for the plight of the chemistry students.

One student, Luke Lewis Borrell, said: ‘There is need for radical change and this is why I am announcing today that I will lead this petition.’

Another supported, Phil Seal, said: ‘This is important because, as most of us obviously realise, chemistry is the foundation of life, and if we do not support our cluster then we are directly harming all life’.

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Coast 2 Coast complete 24hour cycle marathon

Monday 7 December 2015

The Courier

Deputy Editor: Mark Sleightholm News Editors: Antonia Velikova, Peter Georgiev, Sinead Corkett-Beirne & Sophie Norris courier.news@ncl.ac.uk | @TheCourier_News

Demo opposes Syria air strikes

Entreprenurial advice given from Quilliams Bros

COMMENT

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The student perspective on child obesity

Demonstrators gathered in front of Grey’s Monument Images: Sam Woodhams

CULTURE

15 17 18 28 35 39

By Sam Woodhams

Blind Date:

Maeve meets David

The Newcastle Bucketlist What your Christmas jumper says about you David Bowie’s Darkstar Curb your enthusiasm: Hell’s Kitchen

The science of happiness: tea

On Tuesday 350 people met in the city centre to demonstrate their defiance against David Cameron’s proposal to bomb Syria. Huddled together opposite the Christmas markets they were served speeches by various activists, who each explored different angles of the argument against the proposed military action.

The protest began with a speech detailing the counter-productive fourteen years of Western intervention in the Middle East, going from the strengthening of al-Qaeda due to the Iraq war to the rise of ISIS in the countries left depleted and broken

by Western actions. This speech, as were all that followed, was met with applause by those assembled, with the crowd led through multiple chants of “DON’T BOMB SYRIA” by the speakers.

The Courier spoke to some of the activists, asking why they were there to protest: “We don’t want Syria to be bombed [...] The reason we have this problem in the first place is because of the stuff that happened in Iraq and Afghanistan [...]

The fact that the government thinks it can do this and not speak to the people and listen to us, when quite clearly the vast majority don’t want this to happen, is a joke,” one demonstrator said.

NUSU, King’s Walk, Newcastle upon Tyne, NE1 8QB. Tel: 0191 239 3940

The Courier is a weekly newspaper produced by students, for students. It’s never too late to get involved in the paper, whether you’re a writer, illustrator or photographer. Email editor.union@ncl.ac.uk for more information.

“We don’t think the people of Syria should have to suffer from the judgements of people in power. It’s always the people on the ground that end up suffering and bleeding for the mistakes that people higher up make. They don’t care at the end of the day, they’re not the ones getting blown up.”

Another said: “It’s ludicrous to think that blowing them up isn’t going to be a recruitment poster for ISIS “I don’t see why we should support a policy that will exasperate the problem. It doesn’t matter how accurate the bombs are civilians will always die and ISIS will use that as a way to recruit more people.

They can show that the West has intervened with bombs once again and it works as a recruitment program. If you look at the strength of al-Qaeda it was actually stronger after the Iraq war than it was before.”

Faced with the proposed military action, we asked one demonstrator what he believed the alternatives were: “One the greatest hypocrisies of our foreign policy is we continue to back Saudi Arabia to the hilt with finance and arms, which then through proxies end up in ISIS’s hands. So we need to stop our association with Saudi Arabia.

There’s a political solution for the Syrian civil war, there’s a summit right now in Vienna looking for a resolution to that conflict. If we can bring that to an end

“It doesn’t matter how accurate the bombs are, civilians will always die and ISIS will use that as a way to recruit more people”

that will dramatically limit ISIS’s capabilities as well who are thriving in the chaos.”

When asked about whether civil disobedience can affect government decisions, the demonstrator said: “Definitely, if you look historically at the Vietnam war Nixon said the greatest enemy to American operations in Vietnam is the American public. So it shows that people can make a difference when it comes to these sort of decisions, so hopefully this will have an influence.”

One activist’s speech on Islamaphobia and the treatment of Muslims is very important to regard following all of ISIS’s exposure. The diverse crowd gathered that night were united in their protest against bombing Syria, and the feeling of a society opposed together against Cameron was powerful. Britain as a multicultural society was another aspect the speakers described as under threat due to the proposed intervention, as something that would separate communities.

Regarding Britain as a country in austerity, the activists spoke of the enormous cost of airstrikes in Syria, believing the money could be much better spent on restoring frontline services, training doctors, nurses, teachers and other pillars of our society that have been cut back.

There was also a speech given by a primary school pupil, bringing to the fore the basic humanity and compassion that was at the heart of many people’s opposition to bombing in Syria.

Last week, MPs in the House of Commons voted overwhelmingly in support of air strikes in Syria. As a result, more demonstrations have been planned nation-wide.

Editor Victoria Armstrong Deputy Editor Mark Sleightholm News Editors Antonia Velikova, Peter Georgiev, Sophie Norris and Sinead Corkett-Beirne Comment Editors Jack Dempsey, Adam Thompson and Daniel Robertson Culture Editors Ellie McLaren and Laura Staniforth Lifestyle Editors Lauren Exell, Ruth Loeffler, Katie Ackerley and Fiona Callow Fashion Editors Sara Macauley, Ellen Dixon and Liz Rosling Beauty Editors Lucy Cochrane, Ellen Walker and Flo Davies Arts Editors Holly Suttle, Jade Holroyd and Emily Watton Film Editors Rhian Hunter, Simon Ramshaw and Emma Allsopp TV Editors Helen Daly, Jack Parker and Hannah Bunting Music Editors Jamie Shepherd, Dominique Daly and Connor McDonnell Science Editors Iqra Choudhry, Louise Bingham and Anna Jastrzembska Gaming Editors Ollie Burton, James McCoull and Michael Hicks Sports Editors Calum Wilson, Alex Hendley and Lewis Bedford

The Courier is printed by: Print and Digital Associates, Fernleigh House, 10 Uttoxeter Road, Derby, Derbyshire, United Kingdom, DE3 0DA. Established in 1948, The Courier is the fully independent student newspaper of the Students’ Union at Newcastle University. The Courier is published weekly during term time, and is free of charge.

The design, text, photographs and graphics are copyright of The Courier and its individual contributors. No parts of this newspaper may be reproduced without the prior permission of the Editor. Any views expressed in this newspaper’s comment pieces are those of the individual writing, and not of The Courier, the Students’ Union or Newcastle University.

The Courier

Monday 7 December 2015

news.3

Pole dancing showcase raises record amount for British Heart Foundation

Pole Dance society raised over £700 for charity Images: Philip John Cleary

By Sophie Norris News Editor On Sunday, November 30th, members of Newcastle University Pole Dancing society hosted a showcase in aid of the British Heart Foundation.

They raised a total of £708.75, breaking the record for the highest amount they have ever raised from their showcases.

Over 33 dancers performed, ten of whom were part of a beginner’s group routine.

Also on the night, winner of Miss Pole Dance Scotland 2015, Heidi Hildersley, performed a routine.

The theme for this year’s showcase was ‘love’, so performers danced to Rachel Platten’s ‘Fight Song’ and Beyonce’s ‘Halo’.

The group routine was to Destiny’s Child’s ‘Independent Woman’ and the committee routine was to Sigala’s ‘Easy Love’.

Newcomer Lauren Shaw said: ‘It was such an adrenaline rush, can’t wait to do it again’.

Another beginner, Steph Morrison, said: ‘It was so enjoyable, you could just feel the buzz in the air.’

The dancers were trained by both volunteers and Lesley Jackson, who is also known as ‘Ley Poleguns’.

Volunteers teach the beginners and intermediate classes, whilst advanced classes are taught by an external instructor.

The society has another showcase planned for next term, where they aim to raise more money for the British Heart Foundation.

Last year, the two showcases organised raised over £1000 for Make-AWish, the British Heart Foundation and Success 4 All. Event Rep, Rosie McCallum said: “Our biggest competition coming up is the inter-university pole dancing competition at Warwick University on 5th March.

“We came second last year and are aiming to win this year.

“We also have members competing at Nottingham Pole Stars and are looking into other competitions as well.”

Those who want to try pole dancing can book slots via Doodle links that are emailed to members.

Classes run on Wednesday and Thursday in term time.

This year, the society has introduced a new unisex logo to encourage male performers to get involved.

Sebastian Mellor, a male pole dancing performer said: “I was pretty nervous but a few of the girls really helped me get a routine together and then my performance was over so quickly.

“I tried to pretend I wasn’t nervous until the last few minutes, I think it worked. It was a real rush.”

He added: “All the girls were amazing, on and off stage, supportive, and everyone was so excited. After-show hugs were shared all around.

“I’m really pleased to have shown my friends and family what I can do now and proud to show my friends the amazing things we all do.

“I’ve already chosen my song for the next showcase.”

Rosie said: “We usually re-design the logo nearly every year.

“Seb started last year but we have had a few other male members previously too.

“It would be nice to raise awareness of this.

“We are a unisex society.”

In the past, the Pole Dancing society have won several awards and achieved recognition both from Newcastle University for their work as a society and nationally, taking part in inter-university competitions.

This year already the society have been awarded second place winners at the Inter Uni Pole Dancing competition, with Leah Somers coming first place for her advanced routine.

They won the University Pole Stars competition, with Rachel Britton coming second place for the advanced category.

Additionally, the Newcastle University Society Awards 2015 awarded them winners of ‘Best Use of Special Grant Money’.

They have also performed in RAG week, raising £350.

The next pole dance society showcase will take place next semester.

“It was so enjoyable, you could just feel the buzz in the air”

Teaching rep Nisha Katherecha Images: Philip John Cleary

4.news

Monday 7 December 2015

The Courier

Coast to Coast cycle for charity

We’ll be sending out a kit list nearer to the event, and people are encouraged to get in contact with us if they need any advice.

On 24 and 25 November 24 volunteer “As the ride is taking place in March cyclists raised £854 for two charities by it probably will be quite cold - in previtaking part in a cyclathon outside the ous years we’ve experienced nearly all Students’ Union. They cycled in pairs weather imaginable, but it’s all part of for two for two shifts from 9am on the fun and as long as you have lots of Wednesday to 9am on Thursday. Its aim warm layers it’ll be fine,” Louisa Murray was to raise awareness of the Newcastle added. “We’ll also have minibuses for University Coast to Coast charity bike people to warm up in during breaks if ride in March as well as raising money necessary! There will be regular short for Hospice Africa breaks throughout and The Anthony the day, and a proper “Different ability Nolan Trust. They lunch stop where groups will be were also helped by a everyone will meet few volunteers from up. However if you’ve heading out on the Newcastle Marrow been to our training (the student branch rides so that everyone rides and spinning of Anthony Nolan) you should will be able to go at sessions who came along to be able to keep going shake buckets. throughout the day their own pace” Newcastle Univerwith no issues!” sity Coast to Coast will cycle 140 miles They have been running spinning from Whitehaven to Tynemouth on 12 classes in the Sports Centre on Thursand 13 March 2016 in order to raise days this term. Their plan for next year money for Hospice Africa and The An- is to start training rides on Saturdays as thony Nolan Trust. a preparation for the charity bike ride in Louisa Murray, Coast to Coast sec- March. Different ability groups will be retary who participated in the rides in heading out on the rides so that every2014 and in 2015, said: “In order to take one will be able to go at their own pace. part in the ride in March participants If you want to take part, you can sign will need a hybrid or a road bike (the up as a volunteer cyclist or a helper with route is not suitable for mountain bikes driving and providing support for the and they will not be allowed). Apart cyclists as long as you become a memfrom that not much specialist equip- ber of the society. ment is needed - although some padded cycling shorts/trousers are advised!

By Maria Magdalena-Manolova

The society on their 24-hour cyclathon Image: Coast to Coast

Wellbeing service wins award from Times Higher Education

tance leading to better social skills and more independent participation by the student.

Newcastle University’s Student WellbeThe judges at The Times were entsiasing Service has been recognised in the tic about this initiative stating: “it supOutstanding Support for Students cat- ports the fact that clubs, societies and egory at the Times Higher Education extracurricular activity have a huge imAwards. pact on academic success.”

The award comes after the introducThese schemes have helped more tion of three initiatives that aim to allow than 70 students - every single one learners with autism spectrum disorder of them giving positive feedback on participate fully in higher education. the initiatives. Speaking at the awards Until the introduction of this scheme Sandy Alden, Team Leader in the Stumost support solely focused on aca- dent Wellbeing Service said: demics, not on social and “This is a fantastic living skills leading some “These schemes achievement – both for students to feel unsure team, and the students have helped the about coming to univerthe scheme is helping. sity. The new initiatives She added, “It’s hugely more than were set up with the aim rewarding that this has 70 students- been recognised with this of providing holistic support. ” every single award.

The scheme involved The awards are now one of them in their eleventh year a transition event where early access to accom- giving positive and pride themselves on modation and events in highlighting and honourFresher’s Week were ofing the achievements and feedback.” fered to those with autism progress of institutions, spectrum disorder. teams and individuals in the UK higher Alongside this, students were invited education sector. to workshops to develop independent The judges, speaking about the initialiving skills and provide further infor- tives said they showed a “strong undermation on university – helping to elimi- standing of the aim of widening particinate the fear of the unknown. pation.”

The success of this initiative is alIt was a celebration of the best ideas, ready obvious with a 100 per cent reten- finest practice and best researchers tion rate among students who attended and teachers from around the country. the first event.

The University was also nominated for A social mentoring scheme allowing Widening Participation or Outreach students to choose an event or club to Initiative of the Year but was beaten to be supported in by a mentor enables the it by Keele University with their prostudent’s confidence to increase. ject launched in 2012 reaching out to As they become more comfortable schoolchildren interested in stargazing the mentor is able to reduce their assis- with their inflatable ‘stardome’.

By Sophie Chapman

The Courier

news.5

Monday 7 December 2015

Art auction paints a pot of gold

By Sinead Corkett-Beirne News Editor The annual fine art postcard auction returned to Newcastle University on Friday 4th December 2015, generating a substantial amount of money for the department. The event was held inside the Hatton Gallery and it was organised by final year undergraduate Fine Art students to raise money for their end of year degree show.

The silent and live auctions were accessible to both students and members of the public as they placed bids on material produced by professional artists and students at Newcastle University.

The live auction, in particular, attracted a lot of interest as Sir Quentin Blake, whose illustrations feature in books written by Roald Dahl, donated an original signed drawing from the series Nos Compagnons that sold for £575. Blake received a knighthood for services to illustration in 2013 and he also donated an unsigned copy of the book that sold for £28.

According to Niamh O’Driscoll, a fourth year Fine Art student, “A lot of preparation has gone into organising the event. We encourage first, second, third, and fourth year students to produce work that might appear in the silent or live auction. Some art lecturers have even contributed work.” For instance Joe Sallis, a Woodwork Technician at Newcastle University, made a thumb piano that sold for £135. “Sallis’ work is fantastic – he can make practically anything out of wood”, O’Driscoll continued.

“The money that we earn from our auction goes towards paying for our degree show which includes hiring out the venue, the cost of providing drinks and food, a trip to London, and advertising,” said Dale Huntley, a final year Fine Art student who helped to organise the event. “We aim to make thousands of pounds per year. We’re especially excited about this year as there are some big names in the art industry such as Quentin Blake, Maggi Jones and Maggi Hambling”, he continued.

Olivia Turner, one of the key organisers of the event and fourth year student, was praised for her hard work and described by professional auctioneer John Bullock Anderson as a ‘rising star’.

Many students artwork was sold at the live auction, including Turner’s, which attracted many keen art collectors who

competed against one another in securing the winning bid.

The most expensive piece of artwork to have been sold was entitled ‘Night Sea Storm’ by Maggi Hambling, who has received a CBE for her services to painting as her work features in major collections such as in the National Gallery, Yale Centre for British Art, and Tate London. The piece made using ink and acrylic on paper cost £620.

The silent auction constituted of people writing their highest bid along with their contact details on a blank sheet of paper beneath each postcard created by students. There was a fixed starting price of 50p for each postcard however many sold for a considerable amount more.

Attendees were able to browse the artwork at a drinks reception prior to placing their bids in the live auction. In order to try sell the artwork for as much as possible, online bids and telephone bids were accepted. Amongst the artwork, a piece entitled ‘Aurora Borealis’ produced by Ornulf Opdahl sold for £360 as two bidders battled it out to secure the stone lithograph.

“We contacted many artists to try and persuade them to donate some of their work but I am quite taken aback by the response”, O’Driscoll said.

Many local artists submitted pieces of work, including that of former Fine Art graduate Ben Applegarth who studied at Newcastle University. His piece named ‘Big Spring Canyon Overlook’ sold for £160 after receiving much interest. Similarly, Professor in Contemporary Sculpture at Newcastle University, Wolfgang Weileder, donated a lambda print that sold for £150. His work focuses heavily on the deconstruction of architecture and public spaces and performance and transience. Chris Jones, a Professor of Fine Art Practice at Newcastle University donated a photographic print. Jones has previously received awards from Arts Council England and the Daiwa Foundation for his work, which has been held in exhibitions in Australia, Germany, Japan, Korea and the United Kingdom.

The fourth year art students are also set to hold two further events in coming weeks, with interim art shows displaying works currently in progress by the students. The first previews Tuesday 8 December, and the second on Tuesday 15 December.

“We are excited about this years’ auction as there are some big names that have donated work in the art industry such as Quentin Blake”

The art work on display prior to the live auction Image:: Sinead Corkett-Beirne

Artwork on display at the silent auction Image: Sinead Corkett-Beirne

An original Quentin Blake illustration Image:: Sinead Corkett-Beirne

6.news

Monday 7 December 2015

The Courier

‘State of the Ummah’ tour urges action

lims since the beginning of time.

He quoted the Qur’an, addressing the audience and linking the historical events in the holy book to the modern Last Wednesday, members of Newcastle day.

Univeristy Islamic Society ran an event Muslim Belal, closed the evening in collaboration with One Ummah, a with a piece of spoken word perfornon-profitable organisation. mance poetry that tracked through his Speakers on the evening were Mo- life, from his impoverished upbringing hamed Hoblos, Imam Wajid Malik and in Gipsy Hill, London to his decision to Muslim Belal, all of whom have toured convert to Islam. the UK with the State of the Ummah His poetry explored his early life tour. which included criminal activity, that Ummah is an Arabic world meaning ended when he took his Shahada an ‘one community’ and refers Islamic creed taken by Musto the Islamic world as it was “We wanted lims to declare their belief in the Qur’an and as it is now, and acceptance of Muhampeople to mad. in present day.

Zak Mahmud, a volunteer Mohammed Hoblos, a know the preacher from One Ummah helped to who had travelled welcome guests and provide fantastic from Australia to take part further information about the tour, offered a sermon work the in Islam in general. that emphasised the impor“Our intentions are three- charity were tance of the individual in the fold. Firstly, we wanted peoummah, recalling a quote doing.” ple to know the fantastic from the Qur’an: ‘”This umwork the charity were doing. mah of yours is a single um“Secondly, the Muslims are our target mah”’ (Sûrah al-Anbiyâ’: 92). audience and we want to give them a reHe addressed the audience by repeatminder of why we need to be people of edly linking sin to the wider Muslim self-improvement. community, stating that if one per“Everything we do in work, educa- son sins, it is like the whole world has tion or religion, we always need to be sinned. looking to improve ourselves.

It was in this context that the One “Finally, we want to raise funds for Ummah volunteers provided a presenpeople who are in need around the tation about their work in Syria. world.

The charity has worked in other areas It’s important that rather than the of the Middle East, and even in Greece media representing Islam in a negative with refugees, however the current folight, Muslims are out there helping the cus is Syria for their winter appeal. community, both globally and locally.”

Some of their most successful work in Imam Wajid Malik, opened the even- Syria has come from work with widows ing by discussing the history of the um- and orphans in by setting up a camp mah and the problems faced by Mus- with over 80 huts.

By Sophie Norris News Editor

State of the Ummah visits Newcastle Images: Inaam Haq

Company secures £150,000 investment

By Sinead Corkett-Beirne News Editor A company designed to make shared bills easier to pay that was set up by a group of Newcastle University students has successfully managed to obtain an investment totalling £150,000 from a team of venture capitalists.

One Utility Bill was co-founded by Town Planning graduate student Chris Dawson and Dale Knight. Since its start-up it has received support from Northstar Ventures as well as the National Landlords Association, Virgin Media, Ignite, Rise Up, and Newcastle University.

The company currently has recruited four full-time employees who use specially designed software to enable letting agents to create bills packages for their customers including landlords and tenants, which may be paid as part of an allinclusive cost with rent.

According to Dawson, “We built the One Utility Bill platform to reduce the stress and confusion tenants often feel when paying bills in shared accommodation. By simplifying the process, we can reduce the risk of bad debt, as well as lowering the cost of customer acquisition for utilities providers. We’ve also found that it is often more convenient for landlords and letting agents to offer an ‘all-inclusive’ price for rented properties.”

Having gained experience from previously working in the utilities and lettings industry, Dawson used his knowledge to develop a service that may disrupt the procedure of paying bills in

rented accommodation.

One Utility Bill pride themselves on their ability to find and negotiate the best prices for their customers which has interested letting agents and landlords as they have shown an interest in the company. The significant sum of £150,000 received from the Finance for Business Proof of Concept Fund will help the company to expand.

The company joined the Ignite programme where they received advice by the corporate team at Watson Burton.

According to Paul Wigham, an associate and funding specialist at Watson Burton, “It’s great to be able to support the progress of a forward-thinking company from its inception at university, through an accelerator programme and now a successful funding round.

I’m sure that they will continue to enjoy success, and we look forward to working with One Utility Bill in the future.”

The Rise Up Business Adviser, Jackie Wade, who mentored Chris Dawson through Newcastle Founderships programme, claimed that he was a great candidate to work with and that he had a clear vision of what he wanted One Utility Bill to become from the onset.

Wade also claims that using his networking skills, he has been able to source expertise which has enabled him to receive support with the running of his business.

“He has shown the tenacity and ability to overcome some significant challenges and I’m delighted to see One Utility Bill secure this investment package”, Wade conludes.

The Courier

news.7

Monday 7 December 2015

Qulliam Brothers give entrepreneurial insight

By Lauren Exell On Thursday night the owners of Quilliam Brothers, Newcastle Uni’s local tea and cake house, gave a talk at Newcastle University about how their very successful business came about, in the hope of inspiring students to turn their passions into a business.

The speech comes as part of the Entrepreneurial Insights High Profile Speaker Series, organised by the Entrepreneurial Society in collaboration with Rise Up (the entrepreneurial sector of the Career’s Service).

Past speakers have included Anna Jones, CEO of Hearst Magazines. However, this time the speakers are much more localised to our very own doorstep.

Their tea house is located virtually on campus right next to the Kings Gate building.

The place offers one of the best tea experiences in Newcastle.

The Quilliam Brothers are three brothers, Tom, Sam and Patrick.

Originally from Wylam village, they conceived the idea of a late night teahouse in Newcastle whilst sitting by Lake Balaton in Hungary in 2007.

The brothers started importing tea in 2009 after trips to tea producing areas of the world.

After initially selling at market stalls, on their online shop and through retailers, the teahouse opened in 2013.

Growing up in an artistic household, they each have their creative side, whether it be with theatre, music or art.

One studied fine art at Camberwell College, one apprenticed as a wind instrument maker, whilst one performed

at Glastonbury.

They all worked together to create The Loft Hostel Budapest, and made it award winning.

One left school to join the circus, one has done a maida vale session for radio 1, and one is a dad.

Now, their tea house serves over 100 brews sourced from their travels around the world, and the three brothers are keen to show exactly what they’ve learned on their global tour.

Whereas the ground floor is a cafe which also serves food and turns into a small-scale gig venue in the evenings, their basement is filled with an intimate cinema and art gallery space.

Due to the creative and artistic nature of the three brothers, the speech was fascinating, both to those students who were interested in setting up your own business and those who weren’t.

The brothers told an inspiring story of their six-year journey to the tea house’s creation, and all the mishaps that happened along the way.

Through various trips to India, China and Germany trying to source out the best teas for their business, the brothers also had time to make some hilarious memes which they showed to the audience.

Now the very successful business has been running for a few years, the brothers have decided to go on their next adventure – setting up a hostel in Mongolia!

Attendance for the event was free for students, and this was the last of the Entreprenurial Insights put on this semester.

However, both Fraser Doherty from Superjam and Tom Hatton from Refme will be doing a talk in the New Year.

The place offers one of the best tea experiences in Newcastle Image: Peter Georgiev

Dance Society takes on Durham

By Mark Sleightholm Deputy Editor

The Dance Society brought back several trophies from Durham after a busy day of success in their first competition of the year.

The Durham Dance Fusion, hosted

by Durham University’s Instep Dance Society, took place on 28 November and was attended by seven universities from across the country. The annual competition includes Ballet, Modern, Tap, Contemporary, Street and Solo categories.

Nearly 50 Newcastle students entered the competition, performing a total of ten dances.

All of the dances were judged by a panel of four professional dancers, with Newcastle winning six trophies over the

The charity event raised nearly £600 for Movember Images: Hannah Sharratt

course of the day. second-place position from last year by Tap kicked the day off, with Newcas- coming out on top this time round. tle coming third, behind Durham and She said afterwards: “As a competitor Sunderland, in the Intermediate cate- myself, I can say that the adrenaline and gory and second in the Advanced. They healthy competition was so infectious.” followed this P i p p a “Team spirit and support with another McLeodthird place Brown, Presicontinued throughout in the Interdent of the mediate Jazz Society, also the competition, which and then performed a was probably the most came second solo dance. in IntermeThe haul of rewarding part of the day” diate Balsix trophies let. The day concluded with the Street equals the Society’s performance at the Dance competition, where Newcastle Durham Dance Fusion in 2013. came third out of six universities.

McLeod-Brown said: “It was a fantasNewcastle’s best performance of the tic start to our competitive year. All our competition, however, was in the Solo dancers came together in full force to category. Louisa Barnard bettered her support one another.”

Barnard continued: “Of course every team wanted their university to win but nevertheless, there was a very positive rapport between all the universities. Team spirit and support continued throughout the competition, which was probably the most rewarding part from the day.”

“With more intense rehearsals in the pipeline, we intend to win even more at the next competition.”

The Dance Society will continue to compete throughout the year, including at an event they will host themselves, where 12 other universities will head up to Newcastle to take part.

Monday 7 December 2015

The Courier

nationalstudentnews.9

NEWSTACK Greer sparks outrage Oxford

The Oxford Student Union found itself the subject of much criticism last week after it invited Germaine Greer and Peter Hitchens to speak at a debate it hosted. Greer rose to prominence recently after her comments about trans people and Hitchens is renowned for his racist and Islamophobic views which he describes as ‘social conservatism’.

Their presence at the debate sparked outrage from many students who spoke over Greer’s speech and led to the Union having to shut down the gallery above the debating hall for ‘fear of objects and liquids being thrown down on the speakers’. Many students spoke afterwards about how the Union “thrives off controversy”, with some even claiming that “publicity matters more to us [the Union] than trans lives do”. In response, the Oxford Union claimed that the purpose of the two speakers being invited to the debate was in order to encourage students present to challenge them on their views.

Consent classes passed Leeds

Fine Art Postcard Auction 2015

Leeds University Student Union will become one of the first to offer consent classes after they passed the ‘Better Union Forum’ with twelve yes votes and only one no vote. The classes, which will attempt to teach students how to properly recognise sexual consent (or, indeed, a lack of consent), will take place during the University’s 2016 Fresher’s Week.

Nationally, the classes have been the subject of much discussion, with some claiming that consent classes are ‘insulting’ for suggesting men need to be taught to be decent human beings. The National Union of Students is running a campaign in order to attempt to get the classes rolled out at universities across the country.

President suspended Photo: Holly Wheeler rums, blogs, monitoring sites and keeping on top of current news trends on a daily basis. Well-versed in social/mobile media. The candidate should be comfortable utilising Twitter, Facebook, Mobile Apps, Smartphones or Tablet Devices.

It is vital that all candidates possess strong writing and communication skills. Editing skills and experience will stand the applicant in good stead, but is not required. An eye for detail, punctuation and grammar is a must.

Location: Newcastle upon Tyne

Job Title: Holiday Sales Advisor Employer: Parkdean Holidays Closing Date: 14/01/2016 Salary: £6.75 - 7.20 per hour Basic job description: Parkdean Holidays are delighted to be recruiting a part-time Holiday Sales Advisor at Gosforth, Newcastle upon Tyne. You will be responsible for dealing with customer enquiries from a wide range of different channels, including inbound, outbound calls and email enquiries, selling holidays at our 24 award winning holiday parks around the UK. We are looking for passionate sales people who are able to express their excitement for holidays over the telephone. Every call is different, so you will need to be able to adapt to different customer needs. Additional benefits include excellent commission and staff travel policy. This role will consist of evenings and weekends 9am – 2pm and 4pm – 9pm.

Person Requirements: You will need to have great questioning and listening skills in order to and confidently sell our products using features and benefits to maximise revenue on all calls. You must be naturally sales focused and aspire to deliver results in order to meet conversion and call quality targets.

Location: Gosforth Business Park, Newcastle, NE12 8ET Job Title: Outbound Sales Advisor Employer: Energy Compare Ltd Closing Date: 25/12/2015 Salary: £7.20 plus uncapped commission Basic job description: As an Outbound Sales Advisor you will be working on behalf of a large organisation contacting non existing customers with the aim of getting these potential customers to sign up to a website. Hours of work: 4pm - 8pm Monday to Friday and Saturday 10:00am – 1:00pm. Good basic salary and potential to earn uncapped commission and lots of other incentives!

Person Requirements: Experience is desirable but all we ask if that you are hardworking, passionate and enjoy a tough challenge!

Location: Based in Boldon, Tyne and Wear

Job Title: Inventory Taker Employer: RGIS Inventory Specialists Closing Date: 31/12/2015 Salary: £7 per hour Basic job description: RGIS are the global leader in the provision of stock taking services. We require Inventory Stock Takers to work in a variety of wellknown high street and supermarket stores. We are looking for target oriented inventory takers to join our rapidly expanding, fast paced business.

Hours: Evenings and Weekends, varied flexible work pattern, no set hours.

Person Requirements: You must be motivated, dress and behave professionally, have a can-do attitude, be able to perform the job with a sense of urgency and be results driven.

You must be a good planner, organised and a good communicator. You must be able to work well under stressful situations, whilst maintaining at all times a positive and professional working relationship with colleagues and customers.

Location: Newcastle upon Tyne Job Title: Content Producer Employer: What Culture Ltd Closing Date: 31/12/2015 Salary: £50 per day Basic job description: WhatCulture.com is looking for content contributors to keep track of the entertainment and sporting scene and provide features and analysis.

The position focuses on films, gaming and music in all forms as well as a variety of different sports including – but not limited to – soccer, rugby, cricket, F1, boxing and athletics. An in-depth knowledge in two or more of these fields is preferred. Content Producers can work either 9-5 which is paid at £50 per day or they can work a three hour evening shift which is paid at £25. Hours can be selected to fit around your studies.

Person Requirements: Film, gaming, music, science, humor or sports fanatic with a strong understanding of their fields of expertise. The candidate must be able to operate competently on the internet, checking fo-

Job Title: Face to Face Fundraiser Employer: St Oswald’s Hospice Closing Date: 01/04/2016 Salary: £7.85 - £9 per hour Basic job description: Are you passionate about working for an organisation which directly supports the North East community? And do want a role which can fit around your private life? There is currently a vacancy within our Face to Face Team for a targets driven role, securing financial support for our Weekly Lottery campaign. The successful applicant will gain commitment from donors by building and developing relationships with the public, mainly door to door.

Person Requirements: The successful candidate should have excellent communications skills and be able to relate to a wide range of people, be comfortable with lone working have experience of liaising with people at all levels and have excellent direct sales skills.

Location: Gosforth

De Montfort Mystery surrounds the sudden suspension of De Montfort University’s Student Union President, Adil Waraich, last week, with rumours circulating that it was due to him running a video campaign against the Prime Minister. David Cameron received a Companionship from the University in August this year due to his part in passing legislation for same-sex marriage in 2013, although many students at the University feel that Cameron has not done enough for LGBT rights in order to receive this honour. It is alleged that Waraich was part of a group of students who produced a video claiming it was wrong to honour the Prime Minister in such a way for playing a relatively small part in the overall struggle for LGBT rights. Waraich argued that it is part of his job to ‘speak on behalf of students’, many of whom felt strongly on this issue and were reportedly ‘fobbed off ’ by the University when they tried to complain. A week after the video appeared online, Waraich received a formal complaint from the University, ultimately leading to his suspension. The investigation is ongoing.

Poverty linked to crime Edinburgh

Research carried out by the University of Edinburgh Law School has found links between living in poverty and committing crime. The study, which began in 1998, suggested that the Scottish criminal justice system ‘punishes poor people’ and pushes them into a cycle of committing crime in order to attempt to escape poverty. The research also demonstrated that young people in poverty are twice as likely to be prosecuted than those who are financially better off, for committing the same crime. The report author, Professor Lesley McAra said that “Our findings highlight a very destructive dynamic- poverty increases the risk of violence”.

This research has been heralded as being of huge importance as Scotland currently has 500,000 people living in severe poverty, according to a recent government report.

Thomas Montague

10.

Comment thecourieronline.co.uk/comment CLIMATE CHANGE Jake Harrison With the Paris summit underway climate change is (rightly) on everyone’s minds at the moment. Much has been made of pledges to cut subsidies for fossil fuels whilst increasing the proportion of energy derived from sustainable sources. If this happens, it would be great and would make a big difference. But given the lack of effort so far you’ll forgive me for being sceptical. There are other ways however to make a difference. Take the meat-free Monday initiative for example; if everyone in the UK went one day a week without meat that’s equivalent to taking 170,000 cars off the road.

Think about deforestation too. Large tracts of the amazon are being cut down to make space for livestock. In order to produce palm oil deforestation in Indonesia is also happening on a massive scale, killing wildlife and releasing tonnes of CO2. By buying sustainable palm oil or avoiding it altogether we could prevent this.

Climate change is something that affects us all, so in the absence of action from the top it’s up to us to make a difference.

MORAL POLITICS Max George The tragic death of a young Conservative Party activist that is at the heart of this latest bullying scandal represents a saddening side to politics.

These sorts of issues can plague any party — or any organisation — and it is the actions of just a small number of individuals that do the damage. Politics is about power and always has been, but it must be about power with responsibility. Politicians need to reclaim their moral authority, something that has been declining over the past half century. The greasy pole politics of ‘spadocracy’ has led to this unhappy state of affairs, where too often politicians rise up through brown nosing rather than merit.

As a Conservative, it upsets me especially that some people within the party operate in such ways. It is vital that young people feel empowered and involved in the democratic process, but they should let themselves be consumed by it. Very often the best politicians are those who spent years doing something outside the world of politics. Indeed, if we want Westminster to be representative of the country and effective in what it does, it is surely preferable to have politicians coming from all walks of life, all professions, and all different experiences. Politics must be about ideas, visions, public service and leadership — qualities that are only learned through rugged experience.

BAD GRAMMER Meg Holtom I am by no means a snob or a rah, and I don’t live in a mansion in Canterbury, but I am admittedly the Ross Geller of my flat. Bad grammar is my biggest pet hate and there is nothing worse than the dreaded words “I were” or “you was” for sending shivers down my spine. Everyone, no matter who they are, has been to primary school and has learnt the basic rules of spelling and grammar, so I don’t think there should be any excuse. You might call me a “grammar nazi” or just plain annoying but I cannot resist correcting “your” and “you’re”, “them” and “those”, and the worst one, “there”, “their” and “they’re”. I am the girl who genuinely bought Oxford’s Spelling, Grammar and Punctuation book for her boyfriend for Christmas. Oh, and to the doofus who has written “food waist only” on the food bin on the second floor of the Percy Building (not even kidding), you are a fool and should not be teaching English.

Monday 7 December 2015

The Courier

Comment Editors: Dan Robertson, Jack Dempsey & Adam Thompson courier.comment@ncl.ac.uk | @Courier_Comment

The NUS is wasting everyone’s time

Now expected to take a stance on almost every political matter, has the NUS forgotten its true purpose? Charlie Simpson questions how our national union uses its resources

A

sk most people about the National Union of Students (NUS) and they’ll vaguely recall a discount card. Push them further and they might guess that it’s got something to do with the student union. What most students don’t realise is that it is a nationwide body through which they are being represented on matters ranging from student loans to the Islamic State, a rather diverse portfolio then.

The NUS is a confederation of 600 student unions and its mission, along with strengthening student unions, is to “promote, defend and extend student rights.” This is an organisation that has the power to affect real change and yet it is neglecting this duty and instead becoming increasingly politicised.

It has five policy areas: welfare, society and citizenship, further education, higher education and union development. These are areas in which valuable progress could be made to improve students’ day-to-day lives. Instead, the institution spends its time considering whether or not to condemn ISIS, Israel, and even MP David Lammy.

What has that got to contribute to improving student life?

It is also becoming more and more party political, further alienating the student body. In the General Election this year the NUS spent £40,000

on a campaign targeting MPs. While student loans are a valid interest, targeting MPs more widely should not be allowed. By siding for or against a particular party the NUS alienates a large majority of the students it represents.

“Instead the institution spends its times considering whether or not to condemn ISIS, Isreal, and even MP David Lammy”

The NUS is a haven for student politics in its most self-serving form. It attracts largely those from the left and does nothing to try and counteract this. In the 2014 Conference one NUS officer managed to shoehorn his opposition to the Tories and austerity into every speech he made. Thatcher’s death too was cheered. Regardless of where you stand politically, the NUS should not be partisan.

This politicisation is indicative of student politics in a wider sense, even in our own student union.

As this newspaper reported last month, the NUSU Council voted on three questions of politics: “a vote of no confidence in the Conservative Government […] a positive stance on EU membership […] and a public declaration of support for Corbyn and the ‘fight for socialism’.” What right do they have?

Especially when you consider that the majority of third years, as well as students in the North East, voted Conservative in 2015. Taking these decisions, in a forum that has no mandate to do so, alienates huge swathes of the student body.

Only 7% of students surveyed in 2014 thought that the NUS were doing a good job, some 35% didn’t have a clue about what it did. In 2013, Bristol’s Union spent £50,000 on its NUS membership. If our own Union’s spending is anything like that it may be time for a reevaluation of our membership.

The NUS has the ability to benefit student lives.

It recently secured £45m for postgraduate funding, a huge win for students. This however makes it more infuriating when they waste their time on non-student issues such as party politics. The NUS needs to recognize its political bias and make a greater effort to be more inclusive and focus solely on improving the university experience. Our own Union needs to reform as well. Partisan politics has no place in these student bodies. Leave it to societies and the debate team.

It’s tempting to dismiss the NUS and even the internal workings of our own SU. It’s easy enough to spend your three years without ever really taking notice of them. However, they are interested in you and shape your experience here at university. The politicisation of student unions needs to stop now.

Are street protests in marching order?

After checking in on the anti-airstrikes march at Monument, one writer questions whether the message of the street rallies too often gets blurred by personal agendas Cameron Charters

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n the 1st of December, a rally opposing the bombing of Syria took place near Grey’s monument. The vote on whether Syria should be bombed took place on 2nd of December. Those who were present at the rally will agree that there was a sense of upset and outrage, for though the decision had not yet been made, the tone of the speakers was one of regret. Syria was already destined to suffer and we, the people, were helpless. This pessimistic outlook is all too often the closest one to the truth. In 2003, two million were said to have gone out to protest the war in Iraq. Who listened?

“Even at a protest aimed at defending Syria, our own political desires for the country shone through” Fom speaking to representatives of political parties at the march, it became abundantly clear there was a sense that only the left opposed the bombing campaign. Of course, this is not the case. When questioned further, the representatives stated that

they wished to see their political ideology installed in Syria, indicating that the message of the street march was twofold: protect the people of Syria, but also secure a predominately socialist Middle East.

This notion may appeal to many within the student body but it smacks of hypocrisy when one considers the condemnation Tony Blair and George Bush received for allegedly misleading the public over Iraq. We should not pretend therefore, that a street march is free of ulterior motives. Norman Hall the Socialist Party Secretary for South of Tyne and Wearside openly stated that his motives were of a socialist nature. The fate of the Syrian people worries us all, but even at a protest aimed at defending the land, our own political desires shone through the brighter and smeared the purity of human sentiment and emotion.

However, the right to protest and the right to criticise our government are vital. Without it, democracy and the western way of life would fall into the debauched claws of totalitarianism. The individual must be free to march and advocate their thoughts and ideas, but we are living in a society where this has become increasingly difficult to do.

When approached, the police refused to give details on the number of street marches there had been in recent months or the subsequent number of arrests and would give no comment on individual rallies held by the EDL or other political

groups. Why would they refuse the public this information? The grounding for this refusal was the Freedom of Information Act which requires a slip of paper. Unless this is acquired, it prevents any information from being released. This scarcity of information reinforces the need to be politically active.

“After all, whose cause do these marches serve — victims of strife or our own political agendas?”

And so we must ask ourselves, suppose the rallies in Newcastle have no effect, and they are a nuisance to shoppers and they block the roads, should we not just stop them? After all, whose cause do they serve — victims of strife or our own political agenda?

Yet, were we to stop marching, we would lose the one vital ingredient of this country that is freedom.

This same freedom allowed local student Tamim Sultan from Hawthorne Primary to stand up and speak at the rally. His innocence rose above the political agendas of the protestors and spoke a truth that many have yet to learn: that a word spoken is a word immortalised.

The Courier

comment.11

Monday 7 December 2015

Politics: a not so hot career pursuit

The once honourable name of politics has been sullied yet again by the tragic suicide of a young Conservative acitvist. A writer questions the legitimacy of the profession Alice Gardiner

J

ust over a century ago, Chancellor David Lloyd George introduced payment for Members of Parliament to encourage a move away from the narrow political system and to encompass politicians from all social backgrounds. Thus began the career of the politician.

Initially in 1911, there was concern that a wage for MPs would demean the concept of a dedicated public service. However, the payment was intended to break the tradition of only rich upper-class citizens taking MP positions, and to imbue the government with a sense of social mobility. With many contemporary politicians cut from the same cloth as their elite predecessors, it seems the wage was in vain.

“A secondary definition of a politcian is ‘a person who acts in a manipulative or devious way’”

Today, the figure of the politician is permeated with numerous negative connotations. The extent of this public distrust is so deeply ingrained in our society that the secondary definition for the word is “a person who acts in a manipulative and devious way, typically to gain advancement within an organization.” Politicians have always courted controversy, from the Profumo Affair in the 1960s to the Expenses Scandal in 2009. It is therefore not surprising that we view our politicians only in a negative light.

So what of the career of the politician in our contemporary society? Though there are glimmers of hope amongst various parties (Jeremy Corbyn being one), the current Parliament has more similarities to the governments of decades ago. Has the figure of the politician changed at all?

Almost a third of MPs are still privately educated, with 10% attending Eton. There are a scarce 148

women amongst 650 men. Ethnic minorities only account for 6%. The excess of white, privately educated males not only overshadows the possibility of a young working-class person storming into the House of Commons with a state education and a Next suit, but it is also not a true representation of the people of Britain.

Aside from the seemingly impenetrable barriers of elite breeding, schooling and birth, recent revelations have brought to attention the issue of inside party bullying. The latest case is that of Elliott Johnson, whose suicide was tragic and admittedly avoidable. Johnson, a young Tory enthusiast and activist, lodged a formal complaint against his boss and tormentor Mark Clarke, a Conservative Aide. A day after his death, a friend received a recording from Johnson, in which Clarke and Andre Walker, another Tory activist, aggressively attempted to persuade him to drop the complaint. In light of this allegation of bullying against Clarke, others began to surface, including incidents of

discrepancy of power and position.

So, is politics an honourable career path to choose? I’ll leave it up to you to decide.

A thought on the vote for airstrikes in Syria Patrick Kaczmarczyk

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A great deal of intelligence can be invested in ignorance, when the need for illusion is deep.” This is what writer Saul Bellow expressed during his trip to Jerusalem and back in 1976, and it could not be more relevant in the face of today’s politics. The UK now follows Germany and France into war in Syria. They follow them and many others into a war for which no party has a UN mandate. They go into war without a clear strategy in mind how to defeat the enemy. They go into war with the same ideas that brought us the mess the world is facing today in the first place.

For 14 years now western military forces in the Middle East have followed these same principles, but to what end? So often am I reminded of the Eistein quote, “Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.”

Despite many protests in Germany and the UK, the answer to the question ‘Why?’ is almost always ansered in the same way: ‘Out of responsibility.’

“The excess of white, privately educated males is just not representative of the people of Britain” blackmail and sexual misconduct.

Compared to other professions, politicians do not have a particularly high suicide rate. However, is this issue of bullying and mistreatment of party members just the tip of the iceberg? Unlike the Labour party and even the Liberal Democrats, the Conservative party do not have a high influx of new party members or young activists. Because of this, the ratio of senior to junior figures in the party is unbalanced. It is no surprise then that the party have multiple reports of bullying due to the

“Within the first days after the attack in Paris, France’s revenge cost 1500 civilians in Syria their lives”

When immigration becomes a bit much Global population growth is unceasingly high and most countries cannot cope with it.

Max George asks, if Britain has to bear the brunt, then how long can it hold out for?

W

e often say that politicians live in a Westminster bubble that only deals in spin, groupthink and self-congratulation. It is easy for students to fall into that trap, too. On immigration and multiculturalism, the unpalatable truth is that students are out of step with the majority of people in Britain. A global mass migration is coming, and those who believe that society is enriched by ethnic, cultural and religious infusion need to get their arguments ready.

“Those who believe that society enriched by ethnic, cultural and religious infusion need to get their arguments ready”

Britain is not a racist or xenophobic country — far from it: we have a proud history of sheltering the oppressed and marginalised and we have integrated different faiths and nationalities far more effectively than many countries. For a variety of reasons however, deep-seated concerns are held by people up and down the country about the levels of immigration seen over the past twenty years.

Record net migration and the images of thousands of desperate refugees flooding into Europe are only hardening Brits’ views. It is unsurprising then that in a YouGov poll immigration is cited by 71% as the most important issue facing Britain (up from 52% earlier in the year). Observers with liberal attitudes to immigration would be totally wrong and

foolish to dismiss this as racism.

In any discourse, an inability to comprehend an opponent’s point of view is a fatal flaw. Consider this commercial analogy: a retailer that cannot understand why shoppers ignore his products will have far less success than one that can. Consider, furthermore, if that first retailer resolves to denounce those refusenik shoppers as ‘ignorant, ungracious, selfish bastards’. His chances of winning them over fall further. The same is true of those who disparage people concerned by immigration as ‘small-minded, racist, little-Englanders’. The argument on immigration has to be won by appeals to fact, reason and positivity, because when it comes to the mass movement of people, we haven’t seen anything yet.

Population growth over the last fifty years has mainly been in Asian countries such as India, China and Indonesia. Relative economic and political stability has seen this occur more or less harmoniously and sustainably. The next wave of population growth, started over the last ten years, will focus on Africa. The median age in this mammoth continent is around just twenty — less if you exclude the more developed Arab states and South Africa. It is estimated that Africa’s proportion of the world’s population will rise from 13% in 2012 to 24% by 2050. Unlike Asia however, serious economic, political and environmental challenges mean this growth will have profound implications. Development policies in Africa have been struggling for decades: corruption is endemic, civil society foetal and infrastructure decrepit or non-existent. It is hard to see how such rapid population growth — when not accompanied by economic and political development to match — will not lead to a mass

migration.

This writer sees that immigration can bring great economic and social rewards to a country, but many of his compatriots would understandably and legitimately be fearful and resistant to such a prospect. They worry that public services and housing provision cannot cope; that distinct cultures, religions and languages do not mix; that a saturation of the workforce suppresses wages and keeps young Brits out of work. These are legitimate worries stemming from a desire to keep our country strong and ones that require both coherent policy responses and thoughtful counter-argument. To disbelievingly howl ‘racist’ will only retrench the assumption many hold — that the sneering, liberal, metrosexual, university elite scorn with contempt at their uneducated, backwater ignorance.

“It is unsurprising that in a YouGov poll, immigration is cited by 71% as the most important issue facing Britain”

The long-term demographic future of the world is likely to be seismic. We are already seeing how quickly fences can be erected to keep out migrants.

If we want a world of free movement and tolerance we must start to understand what drives fears of immigration, so that this impending challenge does not become a disaster of suffering, vitriol and discord.

Responsibility for what? A further escalation of the conflict? Within the first two days after the attack in Paris, France’s revenge cost 1500 civilians in Syria their lives; children, mothers, fathers and other innocent people. Al-Raqqah has been the target — a city out of which ISIS has withdrawn 90% of its fighters. Where is this going to lead us to? Maybe to more fighters for ISIS? How many of the 1500 victims had anything to do with the attacks in Paris? By bombing ISIS without having a clear idea how to defeat them, we do exactly what they want us to do.

Perhaps it is the responsibility to show solidarity, or rather conformity? I wonder when the western world will take a more altruistic approach, putting in the efforts required to secure peace in the Middle East. The experience in 2006 — when the US came up with millions of dollars supporting the weak Sunni-tribes in Iraq, forming “awakening councils” and establishing a Sunni army called “sons of Iraq” — led almost to the extinction of ISIS and has shown that with money and a mindful strategy we can achieve more than through bombs.

“‘A great deal of intelligence can be invested in ignorance, when the need for illusion is deep’” The fact is, there will be no peace until Sunnis and Shiias will be able to peacefully live together again, as they do in many other parts of the Muslim world. There will be no peace until SaudiArabia, Qatar, Turkey and others will not stop to support ISIS directly or indirectly. There will be no peace until everyone stops insisting on their own interest, but starts following what should be the interest and responsibility of all — to finally end this humanitarian catastrophe in the Middle East.

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Monday 7 December 2015

The Courier

Views on the PERSPECTIVE the STUDENT

In light of the 20% tax on sugary drinks, our wri

We need to address the UK’s alarming health inequalities to end this ceaseless problem Jake Harrison

H

ealth inequalities in the UK are a massive issue. The polarisation of health between privileged and nonprivileged societies are far too visible in today’s world and this in regards to child obesity and attitudes surrounding it are quite frankly alarming.

We have a strange view towards obesity in this country. Not so long ago obesity was associated with wealth, and was lauded as a sign of privilege. Malnutrition was associated with thin, skeletal children from impoverished backgrounds. These definitions have now, at least to some extent, flipped in the developed world. Obesity is now shameful, to the extent that people having been handing out business cards on the London Underground calling people fat. This then inspires outrage about ‘fat-shaming’ and everyone ends up having heated debates about whether-or-not it’s ok to be fat, rather than discussing why people might be fat and what we can do about our current obesity epidemic.

From a health perspective, obesity is not ok.

It’s linked to a huge number of diseases and costs the NHS a lot of money every year. However, what we also have to remember is that obesity is now all-too-often associated with deprivation. Whereas previously someone suffering from malnutrition was likely to simply have not had enough food to eat, ‘malnutrition’ is now a definition more concerned with eating the wrong things in the wrong amounts. At the same time, the more privileged sectors of society have often jumped on the health food, clean living, and everyone-needs-to-looklike-a-model hype. Take quinoa for example; before it became well-known quinoa was a

cheap, staple food in many parts of the world, the UK included. Now it has the reputation of being the food of ponytail-sporting middleclass pretentious hipsters. Between 2006 and 2013 the price of Quinoa tripled, to the point where it is now more expensive than meat despite originally being marketed as a healthier and cheaper alternative. Bolivia and Peru are struggling to keep up with the demand created for it by the West and as a result many Bolivians and Peruvians can no longer afford to eat it either.

“If that wasn’t shocking enough, children leaving primary school have a obesity prevalence of 24.7% in the most deprived areas” I am not trying to criticise Quinoa; it’s very healthy, no animals are harmed in its creation and it doesn’t harm the environment to the same extent as animal farming (although it does of course rack up a lot of air miles).

Equally, I am not trying to criticise the people who buy it; I’m sure everyone buys it for the best of reasons and that rumours of people buying it for the image are greatly overstated.

The point that I am trying to make is that it is more expensive than junk food. Essentially, the problem in this country is that unhealthy food is far cheaper than healthy food and is far easier to acquire. Buying a McDonalds or a chicken tikka masala is easier than going to

Tesco and buying all the requisite ingredients then going home and cooking it, especially if you’ve just had a long day at work and are too exhausted to do anything. This is the root of health inequality in the UK and goes a long way to explaining why obesity is so prevalent.

To put this into figures, in reception-aged children the prevalence of obesity –prevalence being the proportion of a population found to have a condition- is 12.0% in the most deprived areas compared to 6.6% in the least deprived areas. If that wasn’t shocking enough, children mleaving primary school have a obesity prevalence of 24.7% in the most deprived areas, compared to 13.1% in the least deprived.

Children who grow up obese are likely to stay obese in later life and become one of the 62.7% of adults who are currently obese. Obesity is a crisis, one that we need to deal with.

To that end, there’s been a lot of discussion around the idea of a sugar tax, and while this is a good idea it won’t solve anything unless it is properly implemented. It wouldn’t be fair to price poorer people out of eating fast food and drinking sugary drinks if that money was just going to go to the treasury. The money would need to be used to subsidise healthy foods, otherwise it’s a waste of time. I would like to see the things like fruit and vegetables, pulses, good-quality meat etc being made more affordable increased education of issues surrounding obesity. Ideally this would even go as far as offering cookery classes in community centres to encourage families to cook healthier meals or making the teaching of food technology more prominent in schools to get kids off to a healthier start. If we can reduce the obesity epidemic and make society more equal at the same time then I’d call that a major success.

Rising numbers of children diagnosed with conditions previously only seen in adult-hood Rachel Napper

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o called “adult diseases” such as high blood pressure, obstructive sleep difficulties, bone and muscle problems, impaired fertility and type 2 diabetes are increasingly being diagnosed in young people.

Unsurprisingly the number of obesity related admissions to paediatric units have increased fourfold since the year 2000, placing increased demand on child services and increasing the type of health problems they deal with. Additionally, bariatric surgery is on the rise in adolescents, mainly in obese, teenage girls. It seems unthinkable that by the age of thirteen an individual has become so overweight that a health professional deems a risky, major operation as their best option.

Obesity also has a huge social burden on a child where there are higher incidences of depression, often associated with low self-

esteem. It has also been proven to decrease a child’s economic and social mobility. This is thought to be due to the association between childhood obesity and poor social skills.

Unfortunately the trend in childhood obesity is rising. Figures suggest that by 2025, seventy million children will be obese.

The current government’s efforts to tackle childhood obesity have been focused on behaviour change and education based prevention, but it is simply not cutting it.

Saving future generations of children from obesity goes way beyond the “five a day” campaign. We need to alter the obesogenic environment in which we live: an environment where industrialization and entertainment devices have led to a more sedentary lifestyle; an environment where energy-dense food, packed with sugar, salt and fat laden our supermarket shelves; an environment where healthier food options are seen as a privilege only for the rich.

An expert in this area from the World Obesity Federation expresses the view that “fat children are an investment in future sales”. Think about the number of McDonalds Happy Meal adverts on the television; the number of fast food outlets in close proximity to schools; the position of an apple in a supermarket compared to that Mars bar conveniently placed by the till.

“Figures suggest that by 2025, seventy million children will be obese”

Childhood obesity is much more than the idea of a “ticking time bomb” that will cause detrimental effects to a persons’ life once they reach adulthood-it is making children sick.

Preventing this should be a national priority.

We shouldn’t oppose the sugar tax but it alone cannot do enough to change the UK’s issues Jamie Cameron

T

he UK’s parliamentary cross-party health select committee has proposed a 20% tax on sugary drinks. Tax laws require a simple majority in the Commons, are afterwards simple to implement and this is a good enough reason to suggest this tax would work.

A 10% tax in Mexico resulted led to a 6% reduction in sales of sugary drinks. This is vital because children on average consume three times as much sugar as the maximum recommended per day. It’s no wonder why we have an epidemic of obesity and type 2 diabetes, especially among the most vulnerable and underprivileged in society. Why is this?

Unhealthy food and drink provide calories cheaply, and it is not surprising to read that because of promotional offers are on sugary drinks, 29% of 11-18 year olds’ sugar intakes are from these products.

Despite this compelling case for a sugar tax, the Conservative executive opposes this tax.

Number 10 has stated that Cameron “doesn’t see the need for a tax on sugar”. He must be blind, or such an ideological free-marketer that he’s willing to risk people’s lives and health… except that can’t be true, as he has no problem with sacrificing this dogma to Chinese nuclear crony capitalism. This tax is worth trying, and could be easily repealed if it doesn’t work. Cameron’s uninformed opinion should not supersede the knowledge of health professionals throughout the country,

but it does. The tax itself is a meager proposal, meant to be supplemented by other legislation such as banning the advertising of unhealthy products before 9pm on TV. Other proposals include removing sweets from checkout areas and non-food shops entirely, as well as ending promotional offers on unhealthy food.

Why won’t the government desist their nonsense and help end the obesity crisis? Follow the money. The Confederation of British Industry is one of the country’s biggest lobbying associations and thick as thieves with Conservatives, both mouthpieces for profiteering corporatists. Tories rely on political donations from big industry such as food manufacturers, and always avoid angering big business, which is spuriously claiming that the tax will hurt the poor that their own “food” is making so sick.

The Courier

featurecomment.13

Monday 7 December 2015

UK’s child obesity crisis

ters have discussed the larger issue of child obesity and ways in which to tackle the problem Public health shouldn’t be as underfunded as it is when there are extensive long-term effects

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Laura Kenny

s anyone who’s ever started a diet can attest to, it is difficult to lose weight.

Treating obesity is a complicated and costly endeavour; the McKinsey report found that the NHS spends around £6 billion directly managing it, with a further £10 billion spent on diabetes; a condition often related to obesity.

Despite this investment, there is little guarantee that treatments will be successful. Obesity also has a wider impact, incurring a cost of around £7 billion to employers due to more sick days and decreased productivity.

With treatment costing billions, one solution is to prevent obesity developing in the first place.

Prevention is often highly effective and could be achieved through various measures such as improved food labelling and educating people on eating healthily. The UK spends a mere $1 billion (about £696 million) annually on preventing obesity, approximately 1% of the total

social cost of obesity – this is not enough!

Prevention is very economically viable. Investing £1 in smoking cessation services for example gives a return of £11 for every smoker who quits for life. Even modest investment in public health can bring big returns in terms of finances and health improvement. Continued funding is vital to ensure effective public health interventions can be delivered and this is something that is not happening right now, well, not to the degree it should be.

“Continued funding is vital to ensure effective public health interventions can be delivered ”

As a result of the Health and Social Care Act 2012, obesity prevention falls under the remit of local government rather than the NHS. The

Autumn spending review announced that as part of increased devolution the local government grant would be cut by £6 billion (the current annual cost of treating obesity) over the next five years. Councils will be expected to make up the shortfall through various means, including raising council tax and increasing efficiency. This has awful repercussions on public health, as the government aims for “average annual real-terms savings of 3.9% over the next 5 years”.

This amounts to worrying news for public health across the board and obesity services especially. Prevention is key to halting the obesity epidemic and underfunding public health services creates an absolute false economy. Any savings resulting from reduced government expenditure on public health services would be vastly outweighed by the costs of providing expensive treatments to people with preventable health conditions. This is something that needs to change if we want to ever tackle the issue of obesity in this country.

There needs to be an end to celebrity peddling and ‘advergames’ to promote unhealthy food

T

Scott Houghton

hese days you can be easily blitzed by advertising: outside of a shop, inside a shop, on your phone whilst in the shop, on TV, on your laptop, on a cinema screen, in a magazine, even on promotional key rings whilst you open your front door. This golden combination of advertising makes the product stay in your mind all the more succinctly, memorably, and savagely as ever before. It can be hard to shake the impulse to buy off.

However we need to protect our children from the relentless march of advertising. Adults can say no, but children can be very easily persuaded by peer pressure or the attractiveness of a cereal box, for instance. Child obesity is possibly the greatest problem which comes out of this, chiefly because cheaper food is unfortunately the unhealthiest. This has been com-

mon knowledge for years, it is apparent that having a footballer to advertise McDonald’s is counterproductive with an NHS struggling to counter obesity problems. What comes to mind most is the athletes featured on various McDonald’s paraphernalia during the 2004 Athens Olympic Games, and the largest McDonald’s in the world built on the site of the 2012 London Olympic Games complex.

The use of ‘advergames’ however (games being made to promote a business or product) is a cruel one. It strikes at the very heart of a child’s world which is increasingly being played out online and on games from a much earlier age whilst also being far more mobile than it was say, ten years ago. This pushes children to accept unhealthy foods as a fun norm and completely disregards the consequences of a grossly unhealthy diet. This altogether feeds into the stream of advertising which every one

of us drowns under daily. Though posters, internet ads, and key rings just display information – advergames run a distinct phenomenon of a genuine interaction with the customer and the product being sold. Influencing children in this way is wholeheartedly wrong and it has to stop before it does more damage. Stop us onethousand times at Monument if you must, but please don’t brainwash kids.

“Influencing children in this way is wholeheartedly wrong and it has to stop before it does more damage”

Sugar needs to be restricted by all the food markets as well as regulated by the government

M

Illustration: Dan Robertson

Jack Bradley

any terrible things came out of the 80s (mullets, I’m looking at you) but the concept that the fat content in food is what makes you put on weight is probably responsible for more misery than terrible cop-buddy TV shows. Sugar was added to our foods at an alarming rate by companies licking their lips at a new ‘health conscious’ market looking to consume less fat.

By 1999 68 kilograms of ‘caloric sweeteners’ (i.e. sugar) were consumed per capita per year.

This trend has continued, and now if you look at most processed foods, they will have sugar added. The average person in Britain eats 238 tablespoons of sugar a week- we should be eating a fifth of that. Why is this bad? Some fats aren’t great for us, but all sugar has dangers that most of us are blissfully unaware of. As kids we were just told that sugar is bad for our teeth, with little mention of the danger of swings in blood sugar to our weight, liver health and life expectancy. Sugar is incredibly calorie dense, and research has consistently shown that excess sugar is converted into human fat nearly as efficiently as fats themselves. It’s also far too easy to eat huge amounts of sugar without even realising- it can be added into foods without hugely noticeable effects, making it subconsciously addictive. Sugar has the added bonus of disturbing the frail chemical balance of our blood, leaving to diabetes and hormonal swings. Whenever you drink an innocuous can of coke, you are overloading your liver with sugar without the

fibre found in many natural sources of sugar to release the sugar over a period of time. This causes huge swings our blood sugar levels- the dangers of this are not even fully understood yet, but the physical and mental health crisis we are facing is indicative of huge issues. Whenever you see a bloated child waddle through the street, you see the representation of a life disadvantaged from the word go, poisoned by a toxin as addictive as cocaine; in the end this is a child abandoned by a government that refuses to intervene in a crisis.

“The state has both the right and the moral duty to reduce the amount of unnecessary sugar in our diets” The state has both the right and the moral duty to reduce the amount of unnecessary sugar in our diets. Slashing the amount of sugar in our diets would essentially be preventative healthcare from the government, which also happens to our healthcare provider. We need to reject the idea touted by certain, influential, members of the political class that tax revenue from consumption outweighs all other concerns in government. In the long term, a healthier population is a happier, more productive population, and society as a whole benefits. A key issue in this debacle is poverty and failures in health education. In a sad reversal of medieval

times, children living below the poverty line are now significantly likelier to be overweight than their compatriots. Limiting sugar in foods, especially added sugar, would put a stake in the heart of the vampires that make their money from promoting nutritionally useless food to vulnerable populations. Experts of every disposition are screaming for our government to make some concrete policy towards thwarting this menace, and for good reason. Most sugar that we are eating is ‘unnoticed’ sugar- sucrose that has quietly been slipped into our everyday foods. This is why a limit of the amount of sugar in foods, adhering to guidelines created by nutritional experts, is the best way to address this issue. The amount of sugar allowed in different kinds of food could also be varied- obviously you can allow more sugar in foodstuffs such as cakes and sweets that are mostly made of sugar, as these are the foodstuffs that people are already educated to avoid in great amounts.

What this policy would really do is take down the spectre of unnecessarily added sugar, and as such severely reduce the overall amount consumed. It is the kind of flexible, mature and modern policy that this government needs to start bringing in. A tax on sugary foods is not far enough- we’ve seen cigarette prices go through the roof due to tax, and yet people keep on smoking. Every person groaning under the physical and mental stress of excess sugar consumption is a life that has had its quality tarnished by an industry that has no qualms in doing anything to protect its bottom line- let’s take down this secret killer now.

14.lifestyle

Monday 7 December 2015

The Courier

Lifestyle Editors: Katie Ackerley, Ruth Loeffler, Fiona Callow & Lauren Exell

Yes Man

Charlie Isaac finds out that life really isn’t like the movies, and that saying Yes to everything really can just be, well, pointless

RAG Speed Dating

Lifestyle Editors Fiona Callow and Ruth Loeffler went undercover for their first Speed Dating experience, organised by RAG for the Movember charity So Speed Dating isn’t something I’d normally contemplate as a standard Tuesday night, but anything for charity, eh? Now some of you may picture sad classroom chairs in a gloomy room with gloomy single people, but I can vouch that the RAG team completely changed this common misconception.

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ack in 2008, the amusing yet largely forgettable movie starring Jim Carey ‘Yes Man’ was released. The premises was fairly simple: an increasingly introverted man reluctantly agrees to answer ‘Yes’ to everything and sees his life become far more positive after embracing a series of spontaneous decisions. I was tasked with a similar approach; saying yes to everything for an entire day, as a social experiment of sorts.

Being both incredibly lazy and hopelessly single, and observing how well it turned out for Jim Carey’s character, I decided to give it a go and see how accurately fantasy would actually match up to reality.

However, as often is the case with reality, the experience was less ‘exciting and life-changing’ as it was ‘mundane and expensive’. My day of saying yes began on Friday 27th of November at 12:00 noon, when I finally woke up. Ok, perhaps not the best way to start the social experiment, however I decided this would be when my 24 hours would officially begin. I had specifically chosen a day in which I had no lectures or seminars (so that my wild, spontaneous antics would not disrupt my education) so a friend and I ventured into town to do some shopping for the weekend. Though I was very much prepared to accept a random offer to go skydiving, or join a band, or take part in an international treasure hunt, tragically no such opportunities presented themselves. Instead, I ended up accepting several guest list wristbands for clubs I definitely won’t go to,. “Would you like a bag?” asked the Tesco’s cashier, when purchasing a bag of rice and a pot noodle. Begrudgingly I accepted the 5p extra charge. “Onions?” asked the hot dog guy at the Christmas market which again, I reluctantly agreed to. This was largely the limit of my excitement in town.

“‘Would you like a bag?’ the cashier asked. I begrudgingly accepted the 5p charge”

Things started to get marginally more interesting on the walk back (though ‘marginally’ is the key word here), when I agreed to play some video games with my friend. Though I probably would’ve said ‘yes’ to this anyway, the thought of the increasingly large amount of work I really should’ve been doing certainly crossed my mind. Jokingly, he suggested I drink some of the beer I had just purchased. So of course, I ended up drunk at 4 in the afternoon playing video games.

A night out saying ‘yes’ to everything could, for obvious reasons, get very, very expensive, so I made sure no one I was with had any idea I would be doing this. Nonetheless, this didn’t stop a few of my friends asking me to buy the first round at a trebles bar, where I said goodbye to any hope of them ever collectively repaying me the 15 pounds. Onwards in the night, somebody had the bright idea of suggesting we do shots. Still feeling somewhat ill from the trebles I had just downed, I of course agreed that this was a great idea, and proceeded to drink 6 apple Sourz shots.

Fast forward a couple of hours to the end of the night, I agreed it was a good idea to help an incredibly drunk guy to find Ricky Road, as we were also heading that direction anyway. Somehow, the conversation devolved to him discussing his sex life in excruciating detail for a good 20 minutes, so, at half 3 in the morning, I finally got to bed, not entirely sure what exactly I had gained from the experience.

We asked the apprehensive daters some questions before the evening commenced. Most could be found at the SU bar, slurping up some Dutch courage with the help of th ose lethal RAG cocktails. Others were already making advances with other potential datees.

The general consensus for partaking in the Speed dating was ‘for a laugh’ or for those coy gentlemen who didn’t want to admit their intentions; ‘for charity obviously.’ Admittedly, there were also a few who ‘were roped in by their mates of the RAG committee.’

Hope he doesn’t realise I’ve completely forgotten his name...

Awks.

The organisers had done an amazing job of decorating the bottom floor of the SU with romantic lights, glitter and candles. Bit different from the standard set-up of Throwback - although the sound system was in full use, playing appropriately sassy songs for the event such as ‘Baby I’m Worth It.’

RAG managed to raise £598.50 at their Speed Dating event, which is more than double last years figure of £245.90

We asked some girls specifically why they came to the event. They replied ‘we thought it would be a laugh and we’re all recently single so... desperate times call for desperate measures... We’re in our last year of uni, we’re never going to be single of us together again so why not!’

We asked; what do you want to get from the two minutes with your date?’

They replied (joking) ‘we’ll just be trying to get their facebook names... and their numbers! Probably end up sounding like we have Tourette’s... and being like MARRY ME.’ Keeping it cool gals.

I’d be lying if I didn’t say we were surprised to see such a good turnout of boys. We quizzed some Chemical Engineers on what they expected to get out of this evening. Their reply;- ‘Does anyone really expect anything from Speed Dating? But I did hear that last year everyone got drunk, went to Sinners and then all got with each other! Basically a real-life Tinder.’

We asked how some Marine Biologists would approach the girls at the start of the date. One replied ‘nervously... and [whilst taking a big sip of cocktail] increasingly drunkenly.’

The general consensus was that the night was a complete success and ‘definitely not as awkward as I thought it would be... although that may be because everyone’s drunk.’

Sounds like students do Speed Dating right.

Best chat-up lines of the night:

1 2 3 4 5

What’s your safeword?

Are you from Ireland? Because when I see you my penis is Dublin.

Are you a snowflake because I keep falling for you.

Is that a ladder in your tights or is that a stairway to heaven?

Are you a banana? Because you are appealing.

After the interpid daters had a chance for a bit of a break, we asked them how it was going. The reply from the boys was ‘they’re all very nice, but you spend the whole time trying to figure out someone’s number [for the app].’

The idea behind the Speed Dating was that everyone had a number, so you could track down the dates that you liked by using the number on the sticker on their chest. Unfortunately for guys, staring at a girl’s chest was sometimes misinterpreted...

‘Then you get to the end of the very abrupt two minutes and then you’re like: “oh it’s lovely to meet you... umm forgotten your name.”

So we’ve just started calling every girl Jess...’

Another lad told us ‘there were a lot of pre-introductions, like when you sat down and started to talk but the conversation got a bit slow, they’d bring their friend in.’

The Courier

.15

Monday 7 December 2015

Culture thecourieronline.co.uk/culture

Culture Editors: Laura Staniforth & Ellie McLaren Sections: Lifestyle, Fashion, Beauty, Arts, Music, Film, TV, Gaming & Science courier.culture@ncl.ac.uk | @CourierOnline

Blind Date

David on Maeve

So where did you go?

We went to The Botanist.

Why did you pick there?

Dunno, I wanted to make a good first impression.

Had you stalked her on Facebook before and if so what did you think of her then?

I didn’t really, I’d looked at her profile picture and stuff but I didn’t go any further than that.

How was your date?

Yeah, I enjoyed it, it was a good laugh.

When you greeted her, what did you do, did you meet her with a kiss or anything?

Went in for a hug. She was really friendly. I couldn’t find her either because she was wearing a blue coat and I’m colour blind, so that was quite awkward. Apparently she went up to a random guy, because I said I was wearing a big fluffy hood, so she went up to a randomer by mistake and asked him how he was [laughs].

What did you drink?

We got one of those massive watering cans. So we had two of them, and then we bought cocktails after as well.

What’s in the watering cans?

I dunno, I couldn’t tell you. It was nice though, it was fruity.

Did you pay or did she?

I paid for the first one then she paid for the second one. Then I asked if we wanted more drinks and I’d pay for them. She basically didn’t let me pay for the second one, she like forced her card over… I was like ‘wow…’

Did you understand her Northern Irish accent?

I did have to stop and slow her down at some bits because she speaks quickly as well, but she was nice, really friendly.

Did she do the ‘my name’s Maeve, it’s like Dave with a D’ line?

Well I asked her how to pronounce her name, so yeah, she did.

What were notable conversation topics?

We got on to politics, that was quite interesting, because we have quite different views, but it was funny challenging each other.

How did the date end?

Well, a guy came up and tapped us on the shoulder and told us they were closing. So we must’ve been there for ages. Then we just went on the metro back together, and then walked home from there. My house was first, so I gave her a peck on the cheek, and then she went on home.

Would you go on another date?

I think so, yeah, she’s a nice girl and I really enjoyed it.

If you could go back in time and give yourself one tip before your date, what would it be?

Don’t be so nervous. She said I was confident, but in my shoes I was absolutely shitting myself.

What do you think she would’ve said to her friends to describe you after the date?

Hopefully that I was a nice guy, I dunno.

Did you fancy her?

Yeah, a little bit, yeah. She dressed up for the night so that was nice.

Would you take her home to your parents?

Yeah, I think I would. My parents would absolutely love her, just because of her accent. She was quite a nice person as well, very talkative. I don’t think I had to ask many questions.

If she was an animal what animal would she be?

I wanna say dolphin, but it might be a bit offensive. They’re happy, they’re intelligent, they’re always quite chirpy and cheerful.

If you were going to keep seeing each other, who would be punching and who would be settling?

I think I’d be punching a little bit, I’ll be honest.

On a scale of 1-10, how would you rate your date?

I’d say 8.5.

David Willis, 3rd Year Mechanical Engineering meets Maeve Hanna, 3rd Year Law

Looking for love? Send in your details to c2.lifestyle@ncl.ac.uk

Maeve on David So how did you feel when he chose The Botanist?

I felt very good, I really like The Botanist, and I really like cocktails, so it was quite a good choice.

Did you think it was quite upmarket, how did you prepare yourself for a classy venue?

Well yeah it was. I wore boots instead of trainers for the first time in a long time. It was nice to go somewhere different.

What were your first impressions of him?

Oh, he was lovely. Though I was really nervous, I accidentally went up to the wrong person to begin with so I was a bit panicky.

What was the weirdest thing that happened on the date?

I think he thought I was pretty weird when I told him that my best friend had brought out her dead goldfish on a night out, and showed him pictures.

He laughed, but I think he thought I was weird.

Probably because she’s my best pal, he would’ve thought I took weird company or something.

What are any other notable conversation topics?

Politics came up at one point which I said I didn’t want it to. He brought it up. It was fine, it was actually quite funny. He also told me he’d never stay in a hostel which I was baffled at.

So what do you think he said to his friends about you after the date?

Well we’ve got some mutual friends, so I think it was probably similar vibes. Hopefully he said I was a lovely girl.

Did you Facebook stalk him much before the date?

I did a little bit, but then I realised he was friends with one of my really good friends, so I knew he couldn’t be too bad of a guy.

If you could go back in time and give yourself one piece of advice before the date, what would it be?

Leave myself more time to get ready, because I’d had a RAG committee meeting before, so I was a bit rushed. I was nearly late.

Were you late?

I was a bit late. But not embarrassingly late, like 5-10 minutes.

Would you take him home to your parents?

Errrrrrrm, yeah, I think I would, maybe yeah.

You sound apprehensive...?

I dunno, I think it’s because he was a Leister fan, and he wasn’t very impressed when I told him my brothers and all my family are Manchester United fans. But other than that yeah.

Ohhh, that could be problematic. What’s his best trait?

He was funny, he was quite witty.

What’s his worst trait?

That he wouldn’t stay in a hostel.

If he was an animal, what would he be?

A lion, because he’s got blonde, kind of gingery hair.

Do you like ginger hair?

My ex-boyfriend was ginger, like very ginger. I’m a fan of the ginge.

Anything else you want to say about the date?

Well, we stayed right til it closed, we got shimmied out at the very end, so we must’ve had loads of fun!

I thought we had more time than we did so I had to down my last cocktail.

Were you quite drunk?

Yeah, I was quite tipsy by the end. I’m not sure if he was or not.

Rating out of 10?

8.

16.lifestyle Rant of the Week Poor Little Freshers

Monday 7 December 2015

The Courier

Still feeling fresh?

Molly Harris tells us the most important things she’s learnt in First Year outside of the lecture hall Iqra Choudhry rails against the younger years 3. Love Your Freezer thinking they’ve got it Eat4less is famous amongst all Newcastle Whether it’s Sinners or SOHO rooms asking My cupboards and fridge may be basically students, and if you haven’t been you’re tough for a double is practically criminal. I’ve defiempty but my freezer is overflowing with probably the only one. Always expect a

1. Trebles

Y

ou know what really grinds my gears? You know what really does my head in? First years. Not all first years. I’m not that much of a bitch, guys. No, there’s a specific breed of first year student that I’ve grown to detest. First years who have the audacity to complain about their workload to second and third year students.

If you’re a first year, don’t you dare whinge about university work. Don’t tell me about that terrifying multiple-choice exam you have on lecture material alone, or a paltry 1,500-word essay, or your initial discomfort when encountering referencing issues.

By all means, if you’re homesick, or ill, or you can’t cook for love nor money and you’ve been living off toast for three weeks, you’ll have my sympathy. But the minute you complain to me about deadlines, you’re dead to me.

We all know that there’s a jump between first and second year – it’s the culture shock that comes with knowing that every assignment you complete has an impact on the class of degree that you walk out of University with.

And then third year is its own kind of hell, trust me. It’s a haze of applying to graduate jobs and exams, assessed hand-ins and presentations and taking part in enough extra-curricular activity to make you look fabulous to all those prospective employers. Woe betides you if you have a parttime job, on top of everything else. You barely have enough time to ring your mum for a minute and let her know that you’re still alive, let alone attempt a social life.

When in the med school library at the beginning of term, I had an…altercation with a first year student who wanted the same textbook as me.

Once I has ascertained that she didn’t need the latest edition of Molecular Physiology half as much (nay, not even a third as much) as I did, I politely told her to fuck off.

‘What are you even doing in the library?’ I wanted to yell at her. ‘You’re in first year! Shut up and go day-drinking with your flatmates whilst you still can! Stop fighting with a third year over a textbook you won’t need for at least two semesters and get a treble down you!’

I remember when I was a naïve and (sort of) innocent fresher. The world was my bloody oyster.

I could go out five nights a week and rock up to lectures at 9am, only to sleep through them, no bother.

I think wistfully of the days without extra reading, when ‘essential’ reading was anything but.

The days before scientific journal articles became part of my daily routine. Before essays and exams that took up an entire afternoon.

First year was absolute bliss.

I remember when I could cast a cursory glance over my lecture notes (those that I bothered writing up) and come out of an exam, confident in the knowledge that I’d done passably well. I once showed up to an exam on my first (and painfully unpleasant) hangover, and spent the entirety of it rocking back and forth, trying not to throw up. But did I fail? Of course not.

So to all those first years who think they have it bad – you really don’t. Go out instead.

After all, everyone knows that first year doesn’t count.

nitely learnt the hard way about the potency of them. It’s trebles 1-0 me, I never seem to come out of there walking, and if you do you’re doing it wrong.

4. Yik Yak

I have a friend at Liverpool Uni who is constantly peeking at Newcastle’s yaks. She admits she has no idea where/what Jesmond is but still finds it funny.

5. Rahs

Before coming to Newcastle I had no idea what a rah was. Now it is literally mentioned all the time. You will encounter them everywhere you go, usually trying to hand you a leaflet.

7. Clubs Lie Seriously, how early do you actually have to get to Digi Mondays to pay only 80p. Has anyone ever managed it? How are they allowed to continue with such false advertising?! Most people go to Trop anyway.

2. Eat 4 Less

queue, know what you want when you get to the front, and embrace the sense of disappointment/ regret/ shame when you finish your baguette in less time than you had to queue and feel slightly greasy. But it’s that feeling that keeps everyone going back every day.

food. Most it is already out of date, but I’m too cheap to throw it away and somehow I think the freezer will save it. I have mince which I bought in freshers week in there still which will probably never get turned into the spag bol it was destined for. Also the freezer is amazing for bread, from pitta to bagels it’s a carb lovers heaven.

6. Being an Adult Sucks I knew I was an adult when I bought washing powder for the first time. My circuit card never seems to have any money on it, and the machines are always full; that just means my pile of dirty clothes continues to be unwashed. I have definitely gone to lectures in some questionable fashion choices due to lack of clean clothes. And I am definitely not the only one, my roommate even admitted he had worn the same pants for three days.

No matter how much of a Nigella you think you are before uni, having only beans, pasta and soup in your cupboard really tests your creativity. Bean juice is not a good pasta sauce f.y.i.

Before I came to uni I thought I was relatively tidy, now I can barely get in the door with the amount of stuff on my floor. You show your true colours when no one is yelling at you to tidy up.

8. North Vs South

The divide is real! And there is no midlands so you’re going to have to pick a side I’m afraid. No exceptions.

9. 9am feels Like 6am Snooze the alarm and roll over. Not today 9am, not today.

10. Rain It ALWAYS rains. The best piece of advice for any future fresher: buy a coat with a hood (probably from Zara if you want to look like everybody else) or a wind proof umbrella.

The Library that Never Sleeps Deadlines have meant our second home is the Robbo. Tiffany Low documents her most eventful night, filled with the annoying habits that we’ve all seen (and hated) in the library

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tudents visit Robbo for the same reason every time, either revise for their exam or dealing with their deadlines. All day everyday, especially during exam period, the library will be full to bursting, and smelling rather funky, like last night’s bender; the whiff of alcohol and sheer panic. The library is literally transformed into a hunting ground; laws of the jungle apply. Everyone seems to be nervously on edge, lurking around computers waiting for them time out so they can jump on them and claim them, or eyeing each other with barely concealed distaste, convinced their task is ‘waaaay more important’ than their peers. If we have to subject ourselves to the torture of the end-of-term Robbo crush, can people not just have the common decency to just be, well less annoying?

Searching through the whole library, from the second floor to the fourth floor (first floor is too noisy for you), you can finally get a computer on the third floor. What is really bad about that is as you are awkwardly patrolling the computer clusters; you’ve found someone using the computer for browsing Facebook, stalking their ex, or people leaving their personal belongings in their seat for an hour when it is super full. It is really annoying when you can’t ask them to let you use the space when you really need one, but the truth is, people can browse Facebook at home as well, and your need is reaching breaking point. Politeness will soon go out of the window. Eventually someone clears out, and you leap across the room to get the seat, viciously and recklessly elbowing a competitor out of the way in the process.

People are smashing it on their assignments at the same time, so they are typing as loud as they

can, like playing a piano as Beethoven, you almost can listen what they are typing but let me tell you, it ain’t musical. To be honest, it is stressful enough when it’s 3am and you’ve hit writers block, and your assignment is literally in for about 4 hours time, it will makes you think ‘why people can type out so many words and I can’t?’ Can’t you just type it lightly and save me the envious sidelong glances as your fingers fly across the keyboard.

The other annoying thing is, when you are still figuring out what you should write for your essay, your neighbour’s friend comes along to ‘chill’ with him because he’s ‘like been writing for a good 15 minutes now and he needs a quick break’. They are trying not to speak loud since they need to comply

Illustration: Katie Wiseman

with library’s rules. But their whispers get right under your skin, somehow more annoying than if they just they yelled at each from across the room..

Staying overnight is really common when you are fighting your assignment in the library.

You don’t have a penny, only a bottle of water, but someone beside you bought a hot chocolate, or some snacks (especially crisps!) which makes you smell it then you suddenly become very very hungry, and makes you cannot concentrate on your work. Food is always the disturbance. I remember I left the library early due to hunger and want to

“The library is literally transformed into a hunting ground, laws of the jungle apply”

have Chicken Cottage last time…

When you just find another seat away from the whispers and the tantalising food, you think more nothing can bother you. You’ll just quickly nip to the loo and be ready to go. When you open the door, the stink assaults you nose. You cover your mouth and want to vomit. But you are really in a hurry, you don’t want to lose your seat, those pesky self-time out screens say seven minutes but we all know they lie. You hold your breath and brace yourself, but the question that comes across your mind is ‘What has the Robinson reduced to me?’

My advice would be: go home, go to bed, and tackle the delights of the library tomorrow instead... to begin all over again.

The Courier

Eat

lifestyle.17

Monday 7 December 2015

thecourieronline.co.uk/lifestyle c2.lifestyle@ncl.ac.uk | @CourierLifestyle

Foody Foddy

They love their scran round this neck of the woods, so it would be a crying shame not to indulge in some hearty fare before moving on to pastures new.

Greggs

For many, Greggs is a byword for Geordie cuisine, and whilst a flakey steak bake is a local stalwart that must be sampled, you entertain this notion at your peril.

This week, columnist Emma Foddy explores her exotic side in ‘The Taste of Persia’

The Fat Hippo is a Jesmond staple as it can yield life changing burgers. You haven’t been a Newcastle student until you’ve eaten here. They do a great lunch time deal too.

Fat Hippo

Grainger Market

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Top quality food for amazing prices. Swap your Tesco shop for a quick visit to Grainger.

Blackfriars

Eat like a king and dine in the 13th century banquet hall of Blackfriar’s. Perfect for that gradutaion meal (or any meal where your parent’s wallets are involved).

Longhorns

Not one for vegetarians. Longhorns is the place to go for things BBQed.

Quilliam Bros

If you’re a tea-drinker, or just want somewhere chilled to hang out where you don’t have to pay for heating, this is the place for you.

he Taste of Persia is situated in the heart of Jesmond, on Osborne Road. Despite its location, it was full of families rather than groups of students, making it the perfect getaway from student life for a couple of hours without actually having to drag yourself out of Jesmond!

The staff are super-welcoming and the atmosphere is relaxed. Although my boyfriend and I visited on a busy Friday night, we did not feel at all rushed. I appreciated that we could take as long as we wanted over our food without feeling pressured to vacate the table! The decoration is smart but simple. Dress-code depends on the occasion; I’d suggest smart/casual but nothing too fancy.

You can order lots of little dishes and try a selection of Persian food. I’d recommend getting the Middle-Eastern bread basket with any starters that you might order, as many of the other starters work best as dips. The bread is served warm and was perfect with the homemade hummus and a dip containing fried onions, aubergine, garlic, creamy buttermilk and mint.

The Botanist

With good food, a genuine tree, and more fairy lights and fruity cocktails you could shake your hat at, this is a perfect date place.

“I appreciated that we could take as long as we wanted over our food without feeling pressured to vacate the table”

The Drink Newcastle Bucket List Do

Everyone knows that everything is better North of Manchester, and Newcastle is the pinnacle of this claim. There’s a life outside of Uni campus that’s ready to be explored.

The Baltic

Situated across the river, you’ll have to venture into the unknown jungle of Gateshead to take in the beautiful art at The Baltic. It’s well worth the visit though and also has a fantastic restaurant.

Castle Keep

Of course there’s a castle in Newcastle. The Keep offers regular scary movie nights if you really want to make the most of the spooky setting.

Tynemouth GNR Late Shows

What could be better than a day on the beach?

A day on the beach that’s close to the city with the most amazing fish and chips, that’s what’s better.

Quay Ingredient Mog on the Tyne

Day or night, you’re never short of somewhere to quench your thirst.

If you haven’t been here by the time you leave uni, you’ve never had the best breakfast, and thus start to the day. Period.

Unwind in the Mog on the Tyne as feline friends eye your paw-nini from upon your head (excuse the pun).

Ouseburn

A vibrant cultural hub, with picturesque pubs and countless gig venues.

See all of the best sights of Tyne and Wear in the world’s biggest half marathon. You can do it! I promise!

The annual Late Shows are a student friendly way to explore Newcastle’s plethora of cultural and artistic venues. It’s a free culture crawl that runs in to the night, with a diverse array of eclectic activities.

“The meal did not disappoint; the food was cooked in a range of exotic spices that made every mouthful a taste explosion”

Overheard on Campus “Work’s just getting too much. Life’s so hard right now, the gun emoji is my most used”

“Man trips over a flat surface.

‘Did you see that?

As soon as I hit that shadow’...”

We struggled to pick our mains as there was so much choice but eventually picked a dish consisting of one lamb fillet skewer and one marinated chicken breast skewer, as well as a lamb stew in a tomato and cinnamon sauce, to share between us.

They also offer salmon skewers and BBQ prawn skewers with a chilli and garlic coulis (not sure how Middle-Eastern this is but it did catch my eye)! We ordered a side of steamed basmati rice topped with aromatic saffron and, just because we were feeling greedy, a fresh salad with lots of feta cheese. This wasn’t entirely necessary as the skewers are served with salad, but hey ho. The food came out pretty much straight away, which was perfect as the menu had made our mouths water! The meal did not disappoint; the food was cooked in a range of exotic spices that made every mouthful a taste explosion.

I should mention that the Taste of Persia has a sister-restaurant in Newcastle City Centre and the food is of the same high standard. The atmosphere is slightly different as it is decorated more formally, with dark lighting and candles, but it is still very comfortable and the service is faultless.

I was grateful that it offers something a little bit different to the norm and its location means it is ideal for when you fancy popping out to eat without venturing too far. It is also a non-costly way to line your stomach if you’re hitting Osborne road bars afterwards.

“A girl in a lecture whispered to her friend ‘I didn’t realise there was so much science in Biology’... hmmmm”

What set it aside for me is the amazing value for money it offers. My boyfriend and I did not make it in time for a Meal Deal, but I’ll point out that they offer 2 courses £6.95, 3 courses £8.95 Mon-Fri 5-7, Sat 1-5. Even without the deal, the dishes are so reasonably priced that you can afford to eat out without feeling guilty. Give it a try!

34 Osborne Road, Jesmond, Newcastle-uponTyne, NE2 2AJ 14 Marlborough Crescent, Newcastle-uponTyne, NE1 4EE

18.fashion

Monday 7 December 2015

The Courier

Fashion Editors: Ellen Dixon, Liz Rosling & Sara Macauley

Sub-culture style: the mod

What your xmas jumper says about you Izzi Watkins talks the importance of finding the perfect Christmas jumper this festive season

Phoebe Bower looks back in time at ‘the mod’ style, and how it fits into our wardrobes today

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opularised by the 1979 British film Quadrophenia, the mod sub-culture began as a result of post-war affluence, which meant that for the first time, teenagers and young adults did not have to contribute their income from part-time jobs to the family home.

Instead, they could spend it on other things, like clothes (Yay!). The mod look was inspired by the slightly earlier 1950’s Beatniks who formed a Bohemian portrait of turtlenecks and berets (everyone loves the French look), and the Teddy Boys, from whom the mods inherited their flamboyancy and what became the ‘Dandy’. For the working-class mods, an interest in Fashion was a way to escape from the hum-drum futility of everyday life, which they did with truly trendy clothes and original, authentic style.

The traditional mod look was a tailor-made suit, with a button-down shirt, a cashmere or wool jumper, and Chelsea boots or loafers. This style is ever imitated; men consistently copy elements of classic mod outfits, with looking smart being the aim. We don’t see many students decked out in a full-blown suit, a pity since I am sure you agree, a man in a suit is the most beautiful sight you have ever seen and that includes Ryan Gosling without a shirt on. However, the shirt and jumper combo is very popular, but with denim jeans replacing tailored trousers. Chelsea boots or a pair of loafers are perfect for a night out, and slicked back hair makes a man go from a 6 to a strong 8 out of 10. We can thank Essex for re-igniting that particular mod trend, I swear some lads spend more time fussing with their locks than I do! The parka jacket is synonymous with the mod sub-culture, and it seems everyone is wearing one or a variation of it at least.

From the traditional khaki green to navy blue, or from fur-hooded to fur-lined, we can see clear mod influence in all of our favourite high-street stores.

‘‘Granted, we aren’t all taking amphetamines and heading down to Brighton for a rumble, but we are a generation that do something’’ Female mod fashion was androgynous, with short haircuts, men’s clothes (and I’m talking shirts, trousers and shoes, the whole caboodle, not just wearing your boyfriend’s hoodie to nip to the Tesco’s) and very subtle make-up. Although this look is a popular one, in the land of the Geordies false eyelashes are seen more commonly around town that bare faced beauties. However, the MiniSkirt designed by Mary Quant is incredibly popular today and was a large part of that culture, and who doesn’t love a cheeky mini?

The mod culture is one that truly influences fashion today in some aspect of another. People still wear the clothes or listen to the music which was so popular when the mod trend began to find its feet in British society. Granted, we aren’t all taking amphetamines and heading down to Brighton for a rumble, but we are a generation that do something. We ask questions, we challenge and we fight which is what the mods were trying to do; rebelling against a society which didn’t want to listen to anyone under the age of 25. We have power as a group, and should strive to change things for the better, channelling that mod energy and spirit embodied by their fashion. Even if their clothes don’t stand the test of time, their rebel attitude definitely will.

instagram: @joepotter1997

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he countdown to Christmas has begun, and so it’s time for Alexa Chung and Kim K to move over and let the true style icon take his rightful place. I am of course talking about Ron Weasley, the king of the Christmas jumper. Although we may not have our very own Molly Weasley to knit us a festive jumper, that hasn’t stopped us year after year scrambling to Primark come December 1st and hunting down the perfect polyester creation. But what does your Christmas jumper say about you?

Last year was all about the slogan, from the nostalgic ‘Merry Christmas Ya Filthy Animal’ to the ever current ‘let me take an #elfie’ and this trend is sure to continue. These jumpers let everyone know that yes, you’re very funny and yes, you’re very clever (lets ignore the fact that it was probably some balding man living in Chiswick that actually came up with the design).

Festive puns will undoubtedly add some fun to your Christmas day, though some references may be lost on your gran - “You can jingle my bells”, for example, should be avoided at all costs.

If you’re looking for something a tad subtler however, many high street shops are offering a great selection of more versatile winter warmers.

If you went a little hard on trebles at the start of term and as a result your student loan is look-

Illustrations: Beth Evans ing worse for wear then you may want to invest in a more ambiguous sweatshirt that you can wear throughout the season. Winter scenes and beaded snowflakes can be worn not only in the lead up to Christmas, but right through till March or alternatively, if you’re living In Jesmond with questionable heating, till June.

‘‘These jumpers let everyone know that yes, you’re very funny and yes, you’re very clever’’ For all those fashionistas out there, fear not.

Although garish colours, flashing lights and questionable designs don’t scream style, there are plenty of less offensive options out there. For those of you who want to embrace xmas without sacrificing any chances you have of being featured on ‘Spotted on Campus’, the ever reliable ASOS have a huge collection of chic jumpers. Pair one of their oversized crew neck sweaters with your fave skinny jeans and some trainers and you’re good to go. If Ron can pull it off, so can you.

However, if subtlety has never been your thing, then by no means let anyone hold you back. At what other time of year is it acceptable to wear

a chunky knit with a protruding carrot? Take inspo from Bridget Jones’ swoon-worthy Mark Darcy and wear your ugly but snuggly jumper with pride. After all, what’s cooler than being tragically uncool? Go for the bells, go for the cats and for God’s sake go for the glitter- when it comes to ugly sweaters, the limit does not exist.

Whatever jumper you do decide on, make sure you don it come December 18th for the UK’s National Christmas Jumper day. Wear your knit whilst doing your bit by donating to the Text Santa charity, meaning you can not only look great, but feel great too. Whether you’re a Ron or a Darcy, Christmas jumpers are fast becoming one of the best parts of the festive season. Love them or hate them, they are here to stay so this Christmas wear your festive concoction u nap ol o ge t i cally and be sure to throw humbugs at all those who fail to comply. instagram: @sanyurishop

Spotted on campus

This week, Lara Cooper spots and snaps the most stylish students around the University campus

Name: Hope Course: English and French Stage: 1

Name: Philippa Course: History Stage: 2

Name: Ed Course: Music Stage: 2

‘‘I bought my coat from a charity shop but it was originally New Look, and my bag was a gift from a friend, it’s my favourite bag.’’

‘‘My coat is from a charity shop, my shoes are from Office and my hat is actually my grandmas!’’

‘‘The coat I’m wearing is vintage M&S, and my polo-neck is from Amazon - you can always find bargains there.’’

The Courier

fashion.19

Monday 7 December 2015

thecourieronline.co.uk/fashion Instagram:@thecourierfashion | Facebook: facebook.com/thecourierfash |Email: c2.fashion@ncl.ac.uk

What I wore the night before

Flo Strachan shows us what she wore for her most recent night out and explains how we emulate her look

Fashion that does good: sustainable style Miranda Stoner tells us why sustainable fashion is so important, and where we can find it on the high-street

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rying to choose an outfit for a night out is always a tricky one. How do you match the look to the mood of the club whilst also fitting in with what everyone else wears? Do you go for jeans, a skirt, a dress, trainers or even the dreaded heel?

Personally I always go casual. Embarrassingly, I also pretty much always wear the same thing. My standard go-to outfit is a black bottom half, a funky crop top and then a suits-all-outfits jacket that is easy to tie around your waist. This combo cleverly makes it seem as though I’ve tried really hard to create a different look every time, as every top is different. Here I am wearing the same outfit on two separate occasions, where all I’ve changed is the crop top. Essentially the same outfit, yet a different vibe is created.

For Club Trop this week, in Floritas I wore a black A-line button down skirt from a vintage shop in Exeter, Nike Air Max, a khaki bomber jacket from Topshop and a cactus crop top from Arc (an amazing shop in Leeds which sells online too). This look in my opinion is acceptable for going out. In the daytime I prefer baggy jumpers and dungarees,

but this is also casual! I love wearing Air Max as they can fit with any outfit and the slight platform is more flattering than your standard Converse.

In the second outfit I am wearing exactly the same, but with a different crop top that I also bought in Arc, but is made by Motel. Here, I am going to the JAWS gig at Think Tank and then onto Feral later. I think that the black crop top gives a more ‘cool’ look for a gig and the pattern on the top adds a bit of funk!

‘‘A casual bomber or fluro jacket are useful additions to an outfit and can be easily put round the waist when you want to crack out your best moves and boogie’’ Skirts such as the one I’m wearing are readily available in shops such as Topshop and Urban Outfitters; Urban stock a huge display of A-line beauties in many colours and varying in materials, from suede to cord. These jackets are also found everywhere, a casual bomber

or fluro jacket are useful additions to an outfit and can be easily put round the waist when you want to crack out your best moves and boogie!

An issue that many face is which bag to wear for a night out. Do you risk no bag and losing all of your valuables for the sake of the ease of pockets?

The perfect bag is difficult to find. I always go for the same standard leather satchel. This one is a Mulberry bag that I stole from my mum, it is the perfect size to fit money and a phone inside. A clutch is also a good option, however I know that I personally would end up leaving it somewhere during the course of the night. I would always wear a small cross body bag on a night out, and there are so many practical yet fashionable ones to find.

The perfect going out outfit for me is simply casual but cool. I always wear relaxed and plain clothes with one stand out item. The trick is to feel comfortable in what you wear. If you don’t like it and don’t feel good, then you’re going to end up feeling self-conscious. In a simple sentence wear what you like and always go for the casual vibe.

Save, Spend, Splurge: winter favourites

his tassel back pack would make a perfect accompaniment to the tassel ankle boots from Topshop. Reduced from £29.99 to £17, it’s a super steal from H&M. The back pack is a stylish accessory to carry all your uni essentials around campus, whilst also being a more practical alternative to a shoulder hand bag. You’re also going to need your hands free in case you slip over, and you don’t want to be THAT person on campus this year. H&M is the perfect place to shop when searching for a cheaper alternative to the more expensive high street shops, such All Saints.

You can purchase your basic t-shirts and vests for the small price of around £3.99 to £7.99, as well as the dressier products, averaging at around £49.99, which are perfect for upcoming festive parties. If your budget simply doesn’t stretch much further this year, you can’t go wrong with a classic black backpack, and if it’s a gift for someone, what could they complain about?!

Spend

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inter is upon us which means boots are now a necessity in the Newcastle chill. Topshop is always a go-to for staple items like jeans and boots as you know you can always find the current trends at a reasonable price.

It is also a store which is kind enough to grace us with 10% student discount, or even 20% if we’re lucky! These BAND tassel boots have a simple design that will go with anything in your wardrobe, whether it be jeans, a skirt or a dress. At £39, these suede-effect boots are very versatile as they can be worn for a number of occasions, such as a trip into uni, a shopping day around Eldon Square or a night out. The tassel zip is very “in” at the moment, with many items in our fave high -street stores embracing the trend with jackets and bags, as well as on boots. If you have a bit of cash left from September’s loan, or are simply relying on the trusty overdraft, your mum will surely be happy with you spending a bit on a good pair of winter boots.

Splurge

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Jackets: £105 - £220 , The Design Studio

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Save

Boots: £39 Topshop

Bag: £17 H&M

Rosie Setford finds some classic winter pieces to buy this month that will suit any sized budget

hese amazing one-of-a-kind faux fur jackets from The Design Studio (TDS) are rapidly rising in the fashion industry.

The mother and daughter design duo started by selling their hand-made jackets in a little store in Hawarden, before tackling the online market in September 2014. They advertise their eclectic jackets on Instagram, making only one of each design. Although they range from around £105 to £220, they are well worth the investment as you know you will never bump into anyone on around campus wearing the same jacket as you!

You can pick up one of these jackets from the TDS website, from a small selection of around 1520 individual designs at a time. If you see one you like, don’t hang about as once they’re gone, they’re gone. Once they’ve all been snapped up, it can usually take around a month for a new range to become available, so grab one before your dream jacket is never to be seen again.

hen buying clothes it can be all too easy to forget about the environment. Pretty new styles and cheap prices can quickly make you forget important issues, like how the garment is manufactured and where the materials are sourced from. There are products on the market which do address these issues, companies such as BAM who create clothes only from bamboo to reduce their negative environmental impact, or the H&M sustainable collection which uses only organic material and aims to treat their factory workers fairly. Nevertheless it’s hard to tell to what extent this is a publicity stunt and moreover why this is still an issue in 2015.

The name ‘sustainable’ dictates that the clothing must be created in a way which damages neither the earth as it is today, or the world of future generations. Who wouldn’t want that? It also takes into consideration economic, environmental and social factors to ensure that both humans and the ecology of the world are protected.

‘‘Companies with publicly uncompromising morals can often suffer and ultimately not survive in the competitive fashion retail climate’’ The most highly contentious social concern within the fashion industry is global sweatshops, where low wages, long hours and cramped working spaces create conditions that have been unrivalled in their inhumanity. There are various companies, like American Apparel, who pride themselves on producing clothes sweatshop free, and Monsoon who is keen to show that they look after their employees; both those working in store as well as their workers in Asia who manufacture the clothing sold in the UK. Monsoon offers a range of elegant clothing and beach wear. However, the prices are high and when you’re on a limited budget the temptation to buy an almost identical item of clothing for a quarter of the price from Primark can be impossible to resist. For this reason, companies with publicly uncompromising morals can often suffer and ultimately not survive in the competitive fashion retail climate.

As for environmental issues, the main problem comes from the sourcing of materials. In order to grow natural materials such as cotton, vast areas of land need to be deforested and cleared to harvest the crops, which can include the habitats of many rare animal species. These plants are often sprayed with pesticides and herbicides which can have devastating effects on the local eco-systems, affecting both the land now, and the land that will remain for future generations.

The good news is that there are several brands on the market offering ‘sustainable’ clothing which means if you deem sustainable fashion to be of importance, you don’t have to compromise on style.

H&M’s ‘conscious collection’ is one of the most prominent of these. This is an affordable collection with tops under £10 and dresses for under £20, that still manage to maintain the brand’s reputation of being on-trend. They use sustainable materials exclusively such as organic cotton, recycled polyester or hemp, which reduces the carbon footprint of the garments. Moreover, Topshop joined the club with ‘Reclaim to Wear’ in 2012 to create a collection of clothing made from discarded materials.

Although there are some possibilities out there on the high street, they are limited and the main source of ecoclothing seems to be online. It is clear to see that there is still a long way to go before sustainable fashion becomes the norm.

H&M

20.fashion&beautyfeature

Monday 7 December 2015

The Courier

Christmas party lookbook

Vintage Classic

We gave Jennifer a really even and concealed base using Benefit’s Big Easy Multi-balancing Complexion Perfector and Boi-ing concealer, set with hello flawless powder. We bronzed her complaction using Bourjois Delice De Poudre bronzer and contoured her face using Sleek’s face contour kit. We highlighted with The Balm’s Mary-Lou Manizer to give her prominant cheek bones. Her dramatic eyes are made up of MAC’s ‘Club’ and ‘Carbon’ along with Makeup Geek’s ‘Envy’, finished with a sleek flick of Collection 2000’s Fast Stroke Liquid Eyeliner. We used ‘Dark Side’ by MAC for an intense lip.

Hannah’s elegant look is made up of Bourjois’ healthy serum mix foundation and Maybelline Eraser eye Concealer for an even base. We gave her a subtle healthy glow using Clarins’ bronzing duo powder and she sports a simple and neutral eye, made up of ‘Tease’ and ‘Bootycall’ from Urban Decay’s Naked 2 palette. We filled her brows in using MAC Omega eyeshadow , finishing off with a coating of Maybelline Lash Sensational Mascara. To top off the look, we gave her a classic, vintage red lip using Chanel’s rouge allure intense long wear lip colour in the shade ‘Passion’.

Grunge Glamour

The Courier

fashion&beautyfeature.21 feature

Monday 7 December 2015

Clothing by Topshop Eldon Square Styled by Danielle Wilson Photography: Fiona Leishman & Fay Jiang Make-up & Hair : The Courier Beauty Models: Hannah Bullimore, Jennifer Betts, Yasmine Jessy Amr & Rebecca Jackson

Yasmin’s golden look was created by applying L’oreal True Match foundation, followed by Maybellines Age Rewind concealer to create a perfect base. We swept the bronzer from Sleeks Face Countour Kit across the face, with the ‘Rose Gold’ blush from the palette applied to the apples of the cheeks. Finished with Nars Albatross highligher applied to the top of the cheekbone. For the eyes, we swept MAC’s Woodwinked accross the lid, with Urban Decays Half Baked in the centre and Stila Kitten in the inner corner and the browbone. We finished off the look by coating the lips in NYX Stockholm Soft Matte Lip Cream.

Golden Goddess

Sexy & Sultry

We began by using L’Oreal Infalliable Matte foundation, followed by Maybelline’s Age Rewind concealer.

On her eyes, we used the taupe shadows from Urban Decay’s On The Run palette, and used Stila’s Smudge Stick Eyeliner in ‘Damsel’ to create a smoky effect, followed by Maybelline’s Lash Sensational mascara. To add warmth to the face, we used Sleek’s contour kit and the bright pink blush from the same Urban Decay palette, finished off with TheBalm’s Mary-Lou Manizer highlighter. We finished off this sultry look with MAC’s ‘Rebel’ lipstick, a beautiful dark purple with hints of pink to complete a seductive look.

22.beauty

Monday 7 December 2015

The Courier

Beauty Editors: Flora Davies, Ellen Walker & Lucy Cochrane

Best beauty advent calender Melody Ramsey weighs up which beauty advent calenders are worth the splurge

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here’s a reason we call this the most wonderful time of the year; and it’s not because of Michael Bublé or Bucks Fizz on tap. Beauty advent calendars are the best thing to come out of Christmas since you found out Santa wasn’t real.

The popularity of the beauty calendar has increased massively over the last few years and there are now so many on the market it’s hard to choose just one. From skincare and bath time treats from The Body Shop (£60.00) and Lush (£49.95.00) to a nail polish extravaganza from Ciate (£49.99), many of our favourite brands have jumped on the advent bandwagon - making Christmas even more exciting for beauty-lovers than usual!

One thing is for sure, the price tag can often put a lot of people off making a beauty calendar purchase, however there are a select few that won’t break the bank. M&S beauty’s offering this year is only £25.00 and includes products from Stila, Cowshed and Rodial amongst others. House of Fraser’s version is even cheaper at £20.00 and features make up from their own ‘Colour Couture’ brand. If you are able to damn the expense and are looking for something a bit more luxurious, Charlotte Tilbury’s debut advent calendar is worth looking into. At an eye-watering £150.00, The Book of Makeup Magic includes some of Charlotte’s best-selling products which any makeup enthusiast would dream of having in their collection.

Benefit.co.uk

Robbo beauty revival

Mirander Stoner brings us her top tips on keeping yourself beautiful whilst hitting the books

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o you’ve just booked yourself in for a hot date with a cute library called Robinson.

He’s been pestering you for a while now and you figure you’ll never know if he’s the one, unless you give him a chance. Dates can be nerve wracking and the perfect make-up can mean all the difference between a success and an utter flop.

So before sipping your way through 3 coffees to pep yourself up, first consider your beauty regime.

Perhaps one of the best library looks for long hair is a bun. There’s nothing simpler than just twisting your hair up on top of your head and securing with a scrunchie or bobby pins. This style keeps hair out of the way which makes looking deep into the eyes of your essay easier and stops you being distracted (by those pesky loose strands at least).

What’s more, if you spritz your scalp with a light mist of hairspray not only will this keep flyway’s grounded, but when you let your hair down after the stressful day, it should be wavy. Therefore you won’t even need to get the curlers out before hitting the town. For shorter hair a scarf or a headband should keep your face clear, or a ponytail screams casual yet classy.

tion isn’t necessary. However a product to reduce puffiness under the eyes such as benefit’s ‘ooh la lift’ and concealer for spots and pink patches never goes amiss in enhancing your natural beauty. For your eyes, mascara is a must but it doesn’t have to be excessive- just the top lashes.

Choose volumizing or lengthening depending on your preference, but volumizing mascara tends to give a more natural look. For eyeshadow a mixture of light and dark browns tend to match all eye colours and they are a great way to add more dimension to your eyes. To complete the look a tinted lip balm or gloss will keep balance in your face

“Start with moisturiser to keep the skin hydrated or use a BB cream that includes a moisturising feature, as this will give you a healthy glow” One of the easiest ways to achieve a natural beautiful look is to stay healthy from within, as products can only do half the work. Therefore it is important to get a good night’s sleep, 7 hours a night is generally seen as best. Drinking water is also important for good skin and it helps concentration too.

“For shorter hair a scarf or a headband should keep your face clear, or a ponytail screams casual yet classy” In terms of makeup, choose something you’re comfortable in and generally speaking, simple is best. Start with moisturiser to keep the skin hydrated or use a BB cream that includes a moisturising feature, as this will give you a healthy glow. If you have naturally oily skin try a mattifying lotion or moisturiser such as Good Thing’s Miracle Mattifier range. If you’re wearing a tinted BB cream, founda-

@garnierusa Finally don’t forget a spray of your favourite perfume as it can be so comforting to catch a familiar scent when you’re stuck in the middle of a challenging equation. Moreover when you’re neighbour pulls out a stinky bag of cheese and onion crisps you can retreat into your own personal scent cloud.

@fabolouscosmetic

Rocking the walk of shame

Phoebe Hoi Yiu Ng teaches us how to make it home the morning after the night before with our faces and dignity intact with the help of some handbag essentials Even though there has been some high competition this year, advent calendar veterans Benefit have once again combined the delights of Christmas with a selection of their most-loved products to create nothing short of a piece of art. At a reasonable £34.50.00 the Party Poppers advent is arguably 2015’s most fun calendar. Not only does it include 12 doors featuring mini versions of our favourite Benefit items, upon opening the set you are treated to an original Christmas themed ‘Benesong’ which is the icing on the beauty cake. They have managed to pack in Benefit’s most essential pieces including the POREfessional primer, BADgal volumizing mascara and Hoola bronzer; it also includes a couple of items that you wouldn’t necessarily think to head to Benefit for such as eye makeup remover and face cream. This is a great way to try out new products without the commitment of buying full-size bottles.

“At a reasonable £34.50.00 the Party Poppers advent is arguably 2015’s most fun calendar” The set is worth a staggering £71.17, making it great value for money. The variety of products in also a key factor in Benefit taking the crown for this years’ best advent calendar, as you can basically make up your whole face by the time you get to Christmas Day. The only downside is that there are a limited number available and they sell out faster than Mac lip liners the day after Kylie Jenner announces her new favourite shade. So if you have missed the boat, make sure to stay on high alert for next year’s release as if 2015 is anything to go by it is sure to be the best for value and variety.

S

leeping over at someone else’s place is always uneasy for girls. Even if one has already planned ahead, it’s often still a struggle trying to fix the morning-after appearance when waking up in stranger’s place, having very little memory of last night’s antics.

There are a bunch of lists on internet of what you should put in your clutch to prepare for one night stand. But let’s face it, there is no way to fit in cleansing oil, night cream or your comb in your clutch unless you have Doraemon’s pocket. I mean, we all know how bad it is to sleep with makeup on, but it is just weird bringing your skincare set to parties. Prepare yourself by packing these products instead to turn your walk of shame into the stride of pride. v

Oversized clutches Pack an oversized clutch so that you can stuff as many essentials in as possible. Pack yourself a pair of foldable flats from Butterfly Twists so you don’t have to walk in 4-inches heels at 9 a.m. Bobby pins and elastics can be a good quick fix to bed hair.

Don’t forget charging cable in case the new friend uses android when you have an iPhone - you won’t want your phone out of juice when trying to find your way home. v

Individually wrapped wipes Boots Smooth Care Finishing Wipes (£3.49) or Vagisil Dual Action Intimate Wipes (£3) may not be originally designed for makeup removal. But they are still designed for skins and most importantly individually wrapped so you can easily slip one into your clutch. If you didn’t have one, bring cotton buds instead. Use them with warm water

to clean your raccoon eyes.

This might come in handy when you don’t have cleanser available.

Wait, did I mention his penis needs to be individually wrapped too? v

Choose your makeup before going out Many new ‘high-tech’ makeup products are not only okay to sleep in them, but retailers claim that these products can magically regenerate skins overnight. Bare Minerals Pure Transformation Night Treatment (£45) claims that this “concentrated powder formula replenishes skin while you sleep so you’ll wake up with a luminous glow”.

While Max Factor Lashfinity 3 Day Mascara (£18.99) says “Just one application of our revolutionary mascara gives you three days of long dark lashes”. Although it sounds too good to be true, at least they allow us to party hard all night without worrying too much.

“Wait, did I mention his penis needs to be individually wrapped too?”

v

Concealer Hide you hangover with concealer. Yves Saint Laurent Touche Éclat (£25) would be your best friend after a crazy night. Apart from being an “under-eye concealer” like how we all use it, it can also lighten up tired eyes by dabbing it on the inner corner, or contour your face by applying it on the bridge of your nose…

There is a reason why one Touche Éclat is sold every 10 seconds around the world.

Debenhams.co.uk v

Moisturising lipstick

Pick a moisturising lipstick that can be dubbed as blush as well. Put a small dab of this in circular motions on the apples of your cheeks to give you the appearance of a flushed, healthy appearance, despite the corpse like appearance you’re probably rocking right now. Add a bit to your lips too to really brighten up your look and hopefully detract the attention from the rest of your face.

The Courier

beauty.23

Monday 7 December 2015

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Get your face ready in five Christina Lau shares her tips on getting ready when you’re running late for your 9am

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f you’re perpetually late like me, then time always seems to fly by before you realise you have to rush to get ready. Don’t let those extra few minutes in bed or doing your hair deter you from looking fresh at lectures or nights out.

Here are some tips for one of those days when you have to get all your makeup on in under 5 minutes!

Eyes

“Don’t let those extra few minutes in bed or doing your hair deter you from looking fresh at lectures or nights out”

Skin Prep – apply base cream or primer over your face.

This will keep your skin nice and smooth for remaining makeup for the rest of the day. Depending on the coverage you need, you may choose to use foundation to even out your complexion. Use a cream or powder foundation and apply over your face with a brush. For liquid foundation, dab it on the main areas of your face and smooth it out evenly across your face with a sponge. You may choose to only use concealer to hide under eye circles and blemishes. I would recommend liquid concealer for eye bags, and stick concealer for blemishes.

Dot the concealer on, and then blend it out with your fingers or sponge. If there is still time for contouring or you simply just can’t leave the house without it; focus on just highlighting the bridge of your nose, and darkening the area below your cheekbones and blend it with a brush. If you need blush, I recommend using a cream blush, as it is moisturizing and quick to use. Just dab some onto your cheeks with your fingers and smooth it out.

“If there is still time for contouring or you simply just can’t leave the house without it; focus on just highlighting the bridge of your nose, and darkening the area below your cheekbones”

Lips If you are terrible at evening out your winged eyeliner under pressure, there is a resolution. Cut card out into a winged shape you would like to use for days like these, and use it as a template to line your wing, flip it over for use on your other eye to make sure both are symmetrical. If you don’t have time for any sort of wing, just pencil in your upper waterline to make sure your eyes pop. You may choose to only use mascara to define your eyes if eyeliner takes too long. Or just use some brown eye shadow on your eyelids for a more natural look, if you are really short of time.

Moisturize your lips with a lip balm to make sure any lip product you apply afterwards will be polished and smooth. Then apply your preferred lip product. Nude shades are usually easier to apply quickly, more so than dark reds or bright pinks which require more precision.

Depending on the time and skills you have, and the look you want to achieve whether it be natural or more intense; choose and follow some of these steps or all of them to look fabulous in a matter of minutes!

Eyebrows Eyebrows are an essential part of a daily routine as they frame your whole face. Lightly line an outer shape for your eyebrows with a brow pencil to define it. Then fill it in with pencil or powder. An alternative quick way to do brows is just to darken them with brow powder.

Images by Christina Lau

Kiehl’s is essentially yours

Morning skincare routine

Katie Hull brings us the know-how on glowing skin even on these cold mornings

W

hilst for most of us, the convenience of a face wipe at the end of a messy night will always be the go-to, it’s easy to forget that a regular skincare routine can revolutionise your skin. If you couldn’t face drunkenly trying to use a serum at 4am last night, your morning skincare routine will be your saving grace. Although your skin will be mostly makeup free in the morning, the layer of grime from your pillow that builds up whilst you sleep needs to go.

“If you couldn’t face drunkenly trying to use a serum at 4am last night, your morning skincare routine will be your saving grace” For easy cleansing, a much talked about miscellar water is what you’re looking for. Ever since Bioderma’s Sensibio H20 (250ml £10.20) snuck onto the shelves of Boots last year, drugstore dupes have been popping up left right and centre. Whilst Bioderma will always be the number one, Garnier Micellar Cleansing Water (400ml, on offer for £3.33 at Boots) is a fantastic cheaper alternative, as are Simple and La Roche Posay’s versions. Just pour some of this onto a large cotton pad, and wipe away your skincare woes. If you’re feeling fancy there are other cleansing options; it’s best to avoid oil cleansers in the morning as they are more suited to make up removal, but you could try a balm, cream or gel option. Oskia Renaissance Cleansing Gel (£28) is a favourite in the beauty blogging world, and has a gel to oil consistency that feels lovely on the skin. Wipe this off with a warm, damp flannel and you’re sorted. If you want to include a toning step, the La Roche Posay Serozinc toner (£8.50) is great for blemish-prone skin, or for something a little stronger try the Pixi Glow Tonic (£18).

Beauty Editor Flora Davies practically Kiehl’s over for this all-in-one Christmas gift set

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ith this limited edition Christmas gift set, Kiehl’s promise to: “Give your skin all it deserves with the ultimate gift set of face care essentials”.

dryness, an outcome that you should get from a cleanser. For those who are sensitive to scented cleansers then you will sure love this product.

Kiehl’s Ultra Facial Moisturizer

Kiehl’s Midnight Recovery Concentrate

Now that the winter months are upon us, it’s time that I transition my beauty regime to suit the colder weather where dry, unloved skin seems ever present. Kiehl’s is the answer to all your troubles.

Their Daily Ultra Facial Moisturizer leaves the skin feeling nurtured and nourished, enriched with vitamins A and Vitamin E and also imperata cylindrica (desert plant extract), which thrive in dry environments, it’s easily absorbed into dry, sensitive skin. For best results, apply in the morning and evening to sustain a moisture locked complexion, leaving skin feeling well balanced. Whilst The American cosmetics brand that specializes in premium skincare, is at the pricier end of the spectrum, and perhaps doesn’t cater for student budgets, it is an absolute must have to add to the Christmas list! With Kiehl’s stores open on both Northumberland and Blackett Street in Newcastle city center it is all the more tempting to get your hands on this lustful product.

Kiehl’s Ultra Facial Cleanser Kiehl’s Ultra Facial Cleanser works like any normal cleanser. Too reap the benefits of this glorious product, squeeze a pea sized amount into the palm of your hands, lather in a circular massage motion to cleanse the skin, focusing primarily on the T-zone, wash off with a washcloth and finish by patting the face dry. What makes this product different is that it the formula is gentle, it cleanses my skin without leaving any sign of tightness or

A replenishing night time facial oil with distilled botanicals that visibly restores the appearance of skin before that morning lecture. When you’ve got those peepers closed and working with the skins natural nocturnal activity (when skin is much more receptive to repairing itself from daily aggressors), Kiehl’s Midnight Recovery Concentrate restores and repairs healthy skin. Enriched with primrose oil (an effective radiance booster) and lavender oil which helps soothe inflamed skin, while helping to reduce any unwanted redness, the oil leaves you to awaken with smoother and plumper skin as well as maintaining hydration.

What’s so special about this product is its nightime feature: it’s usually during the night that the skin repairs itself most effectively, so using a night care product that aims to boost the cell regeneration is a great idea. For best results, pop 2-3 drops of treatment onto freshly cleansed skin, evenly distributing the product, before working the product onto your skin in a circular motion.

in the morning after a long night. The oil “provides Lois Johnston antioxidant protection with a powerful blend of naturally-derived oils, including Ginger Root, Sunflower and Tamanu, to help skin feel fresh and look energized morning to night”. For best results, lightly apply a few drops all over face, working into the skin in upward circular motion, avoiding the immediate eye area. Use every morning (a great base to use before the Ultimate Moisturizer), applying again in the evening for optimal results.

You can get all this glory for £44.50 from any Kiehl’s store at the minute.

“A replenishing night time facial oil with distilled botanicals that visibly restores the appearance of skin before that morning lecture”

Kiehl’s Daily Reviving Concentrate Kiehl’s Daily Reviving Concentrate energizes the look of fatigued skin, making you look much more alert! So I’m talking about when you get to the end of the day and your skin just looks dull and in need of a bit of a boost, or in some cases

Debenhams.co.uk

@Oskiaskincare For extra protection, you’re looking for a light morning serum that works great under makeup, such as the Sarah Chapman Skinesis Morning Facial (£46). Although investing in a serum for the morning is not a necessity; overnight is when it will have the most impact. However when used under moisturiser, think of each layer of skincare as a barrier against the harsh winter weather. A thicker, creamier moisturiser is what you’ll need in the winter months, and one such as the Kiehl’s Ultra Facial Cream (£24) will give you the intense hydration needed to combat dryness all day. However if your skin is more prone to be oily, a lighter but still hydrating option is La Roche Posay’s Toleriane moisturiser (£15), which sits nicely under makeup and doesn’t feel too thick.

On lazy days when you want to simplify this routine for early mornings and 9ams, then cut the complexities and stick to a simple cleanse and moisturise; you can faff about with serums and oils in the evening. Aiming to nourish and protect your skin rather than strip it will help to maintain a bright and youthful complexion all year round will ultimately make you have a much higher chance of looking like J-Lo by the time you’re 40.

24.arts

Monday 7 December 2015

The Courier

Arts Editors: Holly Suttle, Emily Watton & Jade Holroyd

Flash Fiction

Window

by John Hastings

Networking in the Arts Tamsin Rees visits the Globe Gallery to meet other artistic figures in the Toon

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fter battling the weather I arrived at The Globe Gallery, completely drenched, late, and inconspicuous as usual in my bright yellow raincoat, beelining straight for the bar.

A last minute invitation and my naïve nodding led me here - but I still wasn’t entirely sure what it was, or even what it was now.

From a hurried glance at the website, I gathered it was a networking event, for artists, curators and writers, with a performance art piece by Marita Isobel Solberg from Tromso. I could not help feel apprehensive about it being described as a ‘speed dating’ networking event.

We were directed to take a seat on one of the two rows of chairs face to face, my numb fingers clutched a glass of red wine, hoping it was a massive metaphor and I wasn’t actually going speed dating. (Spoiler: it wasn’t speed dating! Or maybe it was and I was just extremely unsuccessful.)

artist who I told I wanted to be when I grew up; a woman from Milan applying for a dual passport.

There were some great discussions, but I felt I was agreeing more than disagreeing - its nice to find common ground, but I was so ready to have a really good debate. After shuffling down the row of chairs for about an hour, we broke away, had some refills and plodded around until we were asked the move forwards.

“She continued circling, and I continued to be a little drunk and paranoid”

“Solberg had absolute stamina and commitment”

“We were directed to take a seat on one of the two rows of chairs face to face”

“You mind if I open a window?” I just manage to slump my head to the side so that my vision can take up the side of her. She’s pressed into the drivers seat, almost becoming part of the brown, tearing cloth that weaves into the surface of her overused sweater.

“It’s just getting a little, you know.”

She waves a hand under her nose.

“Yeah, go for it.” I mutter, finally pulling my body up. “I mean,” I look over at the sleeping figures in the back of our five-seated Ford, “As long as it doesn’t wake them.”

She pauses a second before attempting to lower the window using one of the handles that must take too much effort to rotate. I don’t think it’s ever been oiled. I mean she has to rub the sweat from her palm a couple of times before she can actually grip the black spool.

“You need any…?” The burst of air answers my question. It slips into the car like a stream of water, bringing with it a delicate tortuous stream that flood the car. I shift a little in my seat, trying to let the fresh air cleanse me of our twenty-four hour non-stop car ride. It doesn’t help; it just sort of makes the sweat still on my skin like an extra layer of clothing.

“That took some effort.” Phoebs looks back over at the road. I return to the view only seconds later, after watching the way her jawline fits back over her braces; and the way her hair wrinkles with the dust of our adventures.

“You wanna switch at the next gas station?”

She yawns. “I’m getting a little tired, plus it’s been like five hours now and my hands are getting the shakes.”

“Yeah.” I open a can of energy drink that we picked up cheap due to their week-old nature.

They taste just fine, so we guessed there wasn’t anything to worry about. “Just pull in at the next exit.”

There’s nothing now but the strange silence and the titillating sound the outer-world makes as it flutters past the crack in the window. I mean it’s so picturesque here: the sky has started to lighten, and the way the stars blanket on the dark ceiling, so vividly. It’s that perfect ambience that keeps my eyes locked on the road; it’s the curtain of soft light that seems to alleviate the pain of the world.

I press my cheek to the cold windowpane, watching the sparse road lamps illuminate halos of golden light onto cracked road surface. I take another sip of my drink and feel the car pull off the road. I look over at Phoebs, who seems too far-gone to notice the beauty. The world is alive, and radiating as a crisp image. Even the mountains come alive: cutting at the backdrop, chiselling the purpling sky, and the restless white wisps that hang on the horizon.

The car stops.

“Ready?”

I look over at her and nod.

The lights were turned off apart from a spotlight, and dry ice was blasted. Leaning against the walls in the dark, whispering to each other trying to work out what was happening, I noticed Marita Solberg - dressed in layers of black tights, black top and an enormous black headpiece. She crept forward, and I realised her costume was bulging with lumps on her elbows, shoulders, knees, crotch, chest. She moved around in a circle, passing each person, and started a deep, beautiful operatic voice. But then I noticed that she was holding a HUGE silver knife. I was f***ing terrified. I caught her eye and thought: I’m going to be the sacrifice this is audience participation on a whole new level.

She continued circling, and I continued to be a little drunk and paranoid.

Solberg started hacking away at her costume with the knife - piercing the fabric and the squeezing out dough dyed red and blue. Kneeling, she started kneading the dough, shaping and arranging it across the floor. I was now sat on the floor - it was a long performance, Solberg has absolute stamina and commitment. Eventually she let out long, harsh screams, then bowed. I chatted with her afterwards, she is lovely - yet absolutely against the suggestion that it was theatrical; declaring that she is completely herself when performing.

It sounds like a dream. The networking worked, we all bonded over discussing how strange we felt afterwards and went to the pub.

We had 1 minute 30 seconds to discuss the question they projected on the wall with the stranger opposite. The questions were probing, blunt, confrontational and very much current; largely around our personal, public and cultural identity, migration and borders. After downing the wine through sheer awkwardness, I was on fire. I talked to a man with a moustache from Scarborough who felt a connection to seaside junk; a beautiful older

Coffee Review: Flat Caps

Katie Hull pays a visit to one of Newcastle’s popular independent coffee shops

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hilst easy to miss, Flat Caps Coffee makes for the perfect soothing antidote to the busy shopping streets of central Newcastle. Hidden beneath the whimsical gift shop Elula on Ridley Street, Flat Caps not only serves unique blends of expertly selected coffee, but offers an environment that epitomises the phrase ‘urban escape’.

Descending the fairy-lit spiral staircase, you are met with an air of calm and tranquillity, which makes for a relaxed environment suited to quiet conversation, working or reading. The clientele match the vibe of the small place: think artistic coffee appreciators, quiet and unassuming, yet basking in the atmosphere of a successful independent coffee house.

The wooden tables painted white with pale

blue legs have a rustic feel to them, and the bench around the perimeter of the room is adorned with a multitude of pleasingly mismatched cushions.

Most of the tables are small, suggesting a quiet and more solitary environment than some, increasing its appeal to the reader who wants to enjoy a quietly humming background noise without the distraction of other loud conversation.

“Even if coffee is not up your street, there is a multitude of drinks on offer” The overall aesthetic of the shop is rustic. Muted tones of blue, white and dark brown wood make up the colour scheme of this small haven, contrasting the shining silver coffee machine and glass syphoning equipment, not to mention the large number of awards and trophies, on proud display at the counter. The wooden slatted walls are a duck egg blue, decorated with a variety of cool artwork in various styles, making for an interesting gaze around the room and the surroundings.

“Flat Caps Coffee is definitely worth a visit” The fact that the shop is windowless as it is in a basement does not pose a problem, rather it has been used to the coffee house’s advantage. As opposed to being dingy, large wall lights and fairy lights refute a cosy atmosphere in preference for a bright, well-lit but calm environment, whilst a large heater maintains that the room is comfortably warm.

The eclectic and calming pipe music playing en-

sures that you stay fully relaxed (although I was a bit surprised at the sudden interspersion of Sweet Home Alabama), at a volume that compliments but does not intrude. The coffee itself is fantastic, with a menu describing ‘tasting notes’ to enable you to make the perfect choice. However even if coffee is not up your street, there is a multitude of drinks on offer to suit any taste. It is clear that the owner Joe really knows his stuff, and had a clear vision in mind when opening the coffee house.

Small and effortlessly pleasing, Flat Caps Coffee is definitely worth a visit. A stimulating place to work or relax. The tranquillity of the rustic atmosphere and the pleasant aromas of fresh coffee and even tastier sweet treats ensure that you will emerge from your visit feeling calm and totally chilled out – the perfect end to a hard week at Uni.

The Courier

arts.25

Monday 7 December 2015

thecourieronline.co.uk/arts c2.arts@ncl.ac.uk | @CourierArts

Traditional trades of the Toon Exhibition Review

Melissa Wear discusses her exploration of Newcastle’s historic crafts places

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he Ouseburn has a robust history of both craftsmen and industrial trade. From the seventeenth century through to the nineteenth, the area was dominated by glasshouses and potteries. Their decline in the twentieth century left this Victorian village (just outside the City Walls) in a state of dereliction.

However, in recent years the Ouseburn Valley has seen significant regeneration as a cultural hub of Newcastle. The flourmills and the breweries have been reclaimed by ceramicists, weavers, sculptors, and jewellery makers. This small collection of remaining buildings now house over forty artists’ studios. This past weekend, the Ouseburn community, opened its doors to the public. It was a great opportunity for the artists and the public to interact in a conversation of locality, amidst a gluttonous amount of festivity as mince pies and mulled wine circulated.

The Biscuit Mill, an icon of the city, has a traditional feel to its basement studios. The artists are grouped by medium. As I pass through, there seems to be a push on art for the sake of aesthetic rather than concept or commerce. This principle reflects the practical and direct nature of the North East.

you perceive it to be from the outside. The whitewashed walls and turquoise windows out over the River Ouse are on-going as you flow between the treasures of the makers. Every studio has its own personality – a dark cave of pattering ceramics to an expansive wood workshop full of all stretches of practical ideas.

There is a constant reminder in 36 Lime Street that you are treading the ground of 18th century craftsmen and it is so stimulating to know that these traditional methods are still being practised.

However, they are now benefitted by modern technologies of making and a widespread interest in the arts.

Further upstream, away from the creative village and into a more believable industrial estate, the Mushroom Works had a smaller scale feel to Lime Street’s industrial studios. Creations from Muddy Fingers Pottery, the playful furniture of Nick James, and an extensive display of 20x20x20 prints for £20 had a very affable interface of “you can do this, you can have this”.

The open studios weekend summed the adventurous attitude of the people who have created the Ouseburn and continue to develop it. It is inspirational to see so many people working prosperously in the arts. It is equally satisfying to observe the value society puts upon it and how these creations are taken to spread from home to healthcare campaigns.

Meandering down Stepney Bank, we entered an interactive class at Northern Print. All kinds of print-making are on offer from block prints using an 1866 printing press, and wood pressing (resulting in prints distressed by the lines of the oak), to more modern silk printing. The studio holds a membership of nearly 200, ranging from hobbymakers to professionals. The relaxed working attitude of the place sees that experts are often making time to teach their fellow printers.

36 Lime Street is roughly six times larger than

NCLA:

NUTS:

Julia Blackburn

B

Interfuse

by Tamsin Rees

“The open studios weekend summed the adventurous attitude of the people who have created the Ouseburn”

“All kinds of print-making are on offer from block prints”

lackburn’s book, ‘Threads: The Delicate Life of John Craske’, focuses on the littleknown artist John Craske. Or, more specifically, her journey in discovering his life. For Blackburn, one of the most interesting things about Craske is that so little is known of his life – in fact, at times, all she could find of him was the evidence of his absence. So why Craske?

Blackburn had wanted to write about someone ‘visual’ for a while and a friend suggested Craske as a subject. What then interested Blackburn was the idea of fame, what makes someone perceived to be important or not. And what held him back?

John Craske was born on the Norfolk coast in 1881 where his father was a fisherman. At the age of six, he started working with his father, but by the time he was twenty-four, he had to retire due to illness. Then, in 1917, on his third attempt, Craske enlisted in the British Army. However, this provoked a relapse of his mysterious illness and he was discharged. It is now believed that he was suffering from chronic fatigue syndrome, and his illness probably correlated with his success.

Being unable to work, Craske took to painting remembered scenes of the sea. For him, the dry land where he lived was foreign and the sea was life. On the advice of his doctor, who accepted payment in small paintings, Craske returned to the coast. Eventually, Craske became bedridden and turned to embroidery as a means of art. Blackburn says that his embroidery of ‘The Evacuation of Dunkirk’ shows the energy of the man in the stitching.

Blackburn likens herself to Craske in that they both use art forms as a means of creative survival, something that is reflected in her books with the theme of people in predicaments and drifting away.

This ‘conversation’ between Julia Blackman and William Fiennes was brilliant as it allowed the author to examine her feelings towards her own work. It left me wanting to get to know Blackburn as an author – though as a final year student, I’m afraid that I won’t have time until July.

Katie Read

Effie Burns, between a variety of kilns, exhibits of range of clay and silicon moulds that have aided her project of sculptures in plaster and glass.

Burns’s range of subjects is interesting as her work ranges from architectural commissions of glass townscapes and broccoli-esque forests to the texture of the skin on her hand. The North East link to the National Glass Centre in Sunderland offers some exciting potentials for this group of artists who will soon gain access to Sunderland’s facilities through a partnership.

A

DNA

teenager is dead, the body missing. A group of teenagers scramble to cover up their involvement. Desperate times call for desperate measures and so the hierarchical structure is abandoned as Phil (Patrick Watson) is promoted to ringleader - he is the only one clever (and brutal) enough to think up a solution. DNA breaks away from the other NUTS productions so far this term by bringing a gritty drama to The Cluny.

After a tense beginning the play spirals into action, inaction, and confusion. Obsessed with trying to cover their tracks, the group of friends implicate others and plunge inevitably downwards to the play’s grim and undefined ending. Plot twists abound and the improbable plot is kept grounded by the finesse of the actors; there are no questions as to why ‘that’ happened, only how Phil is going to react this now.

Ihe heart of the play is the relationship between Phil and Lea (Rosie Bonner), two characters which contrast in all the right ways: Lea never stops talking, Phil never stops eating, Lea yearns for Phil’s attention, and Phil never gives her any. Phil is clever, and brutally practical, with DNA’s poster showing him holding a plastic bag on someone’s head. However, where these two flourish, others potentially suffer, it was a shame that interesting and well-acted characters like Jo Tat (Tim Spalding) had little stage time.

That said the actors performed very well together and the progression of every character can be mapped-out perfectly. Each one reacts differently to Phil’s plans and between them they panic, threaten, question and ultimately submit. However desperate the circumstances are it is never forgotten that they are a just a group of teenagers and constant dark humour offers relief from the grimness.

This production is powerful, thought-provoking and funny. DNA has paved the way for the more serious NUTS plays like Macbeth (30th-2nd Dec) and Rope (6th-7th Dec).

Oisin Power

Fine Art Department:

Postcard Auction

N

ewcastle University’s Fine Art department will be holding a ‘Postcard’ auction on Friday 4th December. The annual auction is organised by final year students in order to raise funds for their degree show in June to showcase their work and is later taken to London during the summer. I managed to speak to the organisers of the auction who told me: “This year we have an amazing lineup. Everyone and anyone can get involved in buying works by both students and big names like Quentin Blake. We’re so excited for the auction, it’s going to be the best one yet.”

Although the majority of the artwork is of postcard size, some larger pieces of art have also been donated to the auction. The collection includes work from both Fine Art Newcastle students themselves as well as internationally recognised artists from around the globe. This year, the auction has managed to attract the attention and support from the likes of Quentin Blake, Ornulf Opdahl, Allen Jones RA, Maggi Hambling CBE, and Mali Morris RA. Ornulf Opdahl’s work ‘Aurora Borealis’ is a particularly fantastic donation. Opdahl is one of the most important painters working in Scandinavia at the moment and has featured in the Queen of Norway’s private collection.

The event will begin at 5pm with a drinks reception where visitors will be able to have a look at all the different artwork on display. The silent auction will begin at 6pm, later followed by a live auction at 7.30pm where larger works will be sold. Bidding paddles will be available on entry and purchased work will be able to be collected on the night of the event or at a later date. For those unable to attend the event but are interesting in making a purchase, online bidding is available prior to the event and will close at 10pm on Thursday 3rd December.

This will be a great event and a fantastic opportunity to buy a range of art from both international and local artists as well as Newcastle students, tutors and alumni.

Alice Kirkland

A

n independent student led collaborative fine art exhibition between Newcastle and Northumbria, was enough to trigger my curiosity for me to plod around Northumbria campus to try and find the Squires Annexe. I was impressed, actually, from when I walked in. The atmosphere was brilliant, fuelled on red wine and excitement, the gallery space was heaving with people, everyone anxious to see how it had been put together.

Interfuse is the brainchild of housemates Martha Buttress and Sophie Halliday, both final year Fine Art students - Martha at Newcastle and Sophie at Northumbria. They decided that it was about time a collaboration took place, a meeting of the two art schools. Its embarrassing that this was the first kind of collaboration - there needs to be more support and communication between the two universities, and it is fantastic that it has been initiated by these two students.

“Talking with both students and artists exhibiting, there was nothing but praise”

As the first of a series, they’re hoping to put an exhibition on around every three months, from which they can start curating it with a more refined thesis - this one encompassed a variety of applications, and all were final year students; they’re hoping to open it up to the other years. An ambitious, articulate and fluid exhibition despite the range of media and conflicting artistic styles - if anything the range and variety fuelled the energy of the exhibition. Above all it demonstrated maturity and ambition. Talking with both students and artists exhibiting, there was nothing but praise - everyone found it a great experience - a necessary collaboration; a fantastic opportunity to showcase work in light of their degree shows in July, building professional competency and style.

An interesting narrative formed within the spaces, showcasing some beautiful paintings, sculptures, film work, installation pieces and ended with a highly popular performance piece by Sophie Bates, the room was crammed with people trying to get a look. One installation piece by Sophie Halliday herself, I think caused a lot of curiosity - a den made out of layers of fabric entwined with fairy lights and a mattress beneath it, with the artist inviting people to take off their shoes and go and sit, and be part of it.

As the first Interfuse collaboration exhibition it was hugely successful. Building bridges, contacts and a supportive artistic community is vital to find your place in the industry and to create and maintain a network within the North East. Martha and Sophie - congratulations.

28.music

Monday 7 December 2015

The Courier

Music Editors: Jamie Shepherd, Dominique Daly & Connor McDonnell

Living La Vida Local

Music Editor Dominique Daly shows some love to the local ladies of the North East music scene As this term rolls to a close and I look back on what has been a pretty great (in my opinion) first run of ‘Living La Vida Local’, I cant help but think that despite all the great local talent we’ve offered up for your aural digestion, there has been a serious lack of ladies. The North East music scene, like any great scene would be nothing without its female component, adding some feminine charm but also being badass and talented as hell! So, as the female component of this editorial team, I thought it only right to introduce you all to 4 of the best female artists in the North East.

Nadine Shah Hailing from Whitburn in South Tyneside, Nadine Shah is a veteran of the North East music scene nowadays. If you’re a fan of the darker, more melancholy side of music then Ms Shah is the woman for you; frequently gaining comparisons to the likes of PJ Harvey or Nick Cave. Her brooding debut Love Your Dum And Mad was the product of the tragic loss of two young men and much of her music deals with the topic of mental health; a subject matter which Nadine handles with haunting grace. Second album Fast Food, released in April of this year, is mature and honest and Shah’s Geordie brogue sets the whole thing off with North East charm.

Pussy Willow Furry Venus First introduced to me as the North East’s contribution to the Riot Grrl movement, Pussy Willow Furry Venus are wonderfully unique mix of grunge, punk and sleaze. No matter what box you put them in musically they are insanely intense.

Fronted by the dagger tonged Steph Mac whose impressive vocal spans from punk snarls to booming wails with energy to match. Known for their brutally explosive live performances, Pussy Willow Furry Venus channel the raw power of their female energy with songs like ‘Sticky Vicky’ and ‘Mighty Aphrodite’. I implore you to listen to their music and not feel empowered!

Keiandra Keiandra is fairly new to the Newcastle music scene, however she is making quite a stir with her current track ‘Wanted’. Gathering quite a bit of respect after just one release, Keiandra’s music is pretty breath-taking and when you consider that she’s only 18 years old it really makes you question what you’ve done with your life. ‘Wanted’ is a stirring and epic combination of soaring, washed out guitars and powerful dream-like vocals. The whole thing floats in a stylish air, which engulfs any listener and personally I cannot wait to hear what’s next.

Du Blonde Du Blonde A.K.A Beth Jeans Houghton is possibly the coolest and most daring female artist on the North East Scene right now, and I’d say for a long time to come. She’s outspoken, she’s raucous and well, she makes god damn great music. Her debut album as Du Blonde is the product of quite dramatic musical and psychological reinvention, after suffering a nervous break down of sorts in 2012 and scrapping an entire album. Welcome Back To Milk shows an entirely new side to Beth. Stand out track ‘Black Flag’ sees stormy guitars draped over primal drums while Du Blonde wrestles with both sides of a love affair. An extreme leap from the ‘nu-folk’ vibes of previous work Cellophane Nose but one which has paid off both artistically and professionally. Personally, I hope this incarnation is here to stay.

Be sure to follow us on Spotify so you can have a little listen to local music and more at - https://play.spotify.com/ user/thecourierdoesmusic

From a Starman to a Darkstar

The chameleon of British pop music that is David Bowie is back with an album scheduled for a January release. Serena Bhardwaj isn’t overly thrilled by the preview track ‘Darkstar’

B

owie’s back with the single ‘Blackstar’ and it has polarised listeners to say the least.

I’m not completely sure of how to describe the new sound let alone the video, because it’s just very…strange. To be fair, Bowie is known for his eccentricity and surreal music but it’s a struggle to foreshadow where he’s going with the new album. It appears that modern day Ziggy is a blindfolded man trapped in an attic with two men and a woman who are all uncontrollably shaking. The generous 10 minute teaser reminds me of a song that could be used in the weird and wonderful show ‘The Mighty Boosh’, and I’m yet to decide if that’s a good thing or not.

Critics have claimed that this is a goodbye to Major Tom, which is actually quite saddening.

But whilst everyone’s raving about the spectacular lyrics, I’m left somewhat unsatisfied: “I’m a blackstar, I’m not a pornstar…Ah-ah, ahah” doesn’t scream out lyrical genius to me.

to pop, to electronica and so on. During his career, Bowie has smothered rock and pop with art and glam to make for uniquely enthralling music. As a result, it would be presumptuous to claim that ‘Blackstar’ is an immediate let down for Bowie fans; it must have been greeted with such a

positive reception for a valid reason. I always wonder why artists decide to make a come-back long after their prime time. Bowie’s 66 years old now and, as the terribly cliché saying goes, “if it ‘ain’t broke, don’t fix it”. Is it the music or the money that he misses more? Is ‘Blackstar’ utter genius or just a haphazard resort to get back into the limelight again? With inspiration drawing from the likes of Kendrick Lamar, this haunting track takes the listener on a gripping journey through cacophonies and euphonies and into a world of ominous tones and funky beats.

“Critics have claimed that this is a goodbye to Major Tom, which is actually quite saddening. But whilst everyone’s raving about the spectacular lyrics, I’m left somewhat unsatisfied: ‘I’m a blackstar, I’m not a pornstar…Ah-ah, ahah’ doesn’t scream out lyrical genius to me”

“Bowie’s 66 years old now and, as the terribly cliché saying goes, ‘if it ‘ain’t broke, don’t fix it’. Is it the music or the money that he misses more?”

I’ll be honest, when I first heard the song I was definitely not sold. Irrespective of my initial impressions, I think it’s certainly a grower. The music jumps around a lot which is particularly unnerving. It’s also a bit of a commitment to listen to at an intimidating length of 10 minutes making it almost seem like a chore. However, threads of pop, jazz and drum and bass are evident throughout which demonstrates an intriguing development by Bowie that builds upon his existing sound. This single seems to have left listeners perplexed as to whether or not they should like it. Perhaps ‘Blackstar’ will make more sense when it’s embedded between other engrossing songs in the full album which is set to be released in January. Only time will tell.

To be fair, after the mediocre The Next Day released in 2013, I suppose I can understand the buzz surrounding ‘Blackstar’ at the moment. It’s exciting, it’s experimental and it’s eerie; which is what we’ve all been craving from him. But, if Bowie’s name wasn’t plastered over the song I wonder if it would still be just as popular? It’s possible that we’re just making a fuss over the track purely because of who created it. Quite frankly, the influence and legacy left

by David Bowie cannot be ignored.

He’s been an incredibly prominent figure in the music industry since the 60s - the musical equivalent of a chameleon, swooping from funk,

We will not be Slaves to lad culture With cases of sexual harassment being recently reported at Slaves, Drenge and Foals performances, Alex Smith explores the wider issue of lad culture

“

Putting your hands all over any women without her permission is not on at any sort of concert. Going as far as putting your hand up her skirt forcing her to leave the venue and go home, ruining her night, is disgusting.” – Slaves, on the Cardiff gig (15th November) Brought to their attention after their gig in Cardiff Students Union on the 15th of November, Slaves were informed of reports of sexual harassment during the performance, prompting this response on their Facebook page. Slaves however, are not the first band to bring this sort of thing to light. Foals and Drenge have also both recently commented on sexual harassment at their gigs, calling it out on social media and requesting victims inform them, or security.

It seems the fallout from university-centred lad culture is attacking music venues and gigs. In general, the relationship between gigs and universities is strong. Many students unions hold events, such as the Slaves example in question, and many attendees are usually of typical University age. In the last few years Dapper Laughs inspired groups of lads can be seen popping up all over campuses, prompting many questions about the situation in the media and even focus on the issue from the government.

The question is, why has there been such a rise of it occurring in music venues recently? Perhaps lad culture has spread so far that, like the aforementioned Dapper Laughs, many have half-heartedly reformed in the wake of a focus on Feminist values.

This has possibly led to under-the-surface sexism and in the close proximity of a gig venue many men think they can get away with it. Of course it is not just limited to women, yet these are the vast number of cases reported.

Alternatively, perhaps harassment at gigs is starting to be focused on as an actual issue. Whereas before it would have been seen as collateral damage of attending a gig, people are starting take notice. It can no longer be dismissed as “oh there’s not

enough space” or “they were just pushed into you”.

With a more responsive attitude from bands, this has definitely helped the case.

“Perhaps lad culture has spread so far that, like the aforementioned Dapper Laughs, many have half-heartedly reformed in the wake of a focus on Feminist values” More than likely however, is that it is a combination of both of the above. Whatever the reasons, this deplorable act has been countered head-on by a group of five teenage girls called Girls Against.

Despite being relatively new, the group have

amassed a great amount of support, hitting 6,500 followers on Twitter and the support of many acts such as Peace, whose gigs have similarly suffered this kind of harassment.

As well as being active online, they attend gigs, talk to people queuing for gigs and give out merchandise to promote their cause. All of this help shows girls, who may just brush off gig-related harassment, that it is a real issue and should be taken seriously. With rapid expansion occurring, Girls Against’s current goal is to eradicate sexual harassment at all gigs. Slaves have joined this cause wholeheartedly and have vowed to help end groping where they see it.

In the words of Peace frontman Harry Koisser- If you think this is ok then please I beg you do not go to gigs.

The Courier

music.29

Monday 7 December 2015

thecourieronline.co.uk/music c2.music@ncl.ac.uk | @courier_music

Album Review: Made in the A.M.

One Direction I

t’s been a rough year for the boys with heartthrob, Zayn Malik, quitting, leaving Directioners all over the world shocked and saddened, with some hardened fans even holding memorials at their DIY shrines for the poor lad. As well as this, One Direction announced that Made in the AM would be their final record before a long and deserved break from the limelight.

“All eyes were on the new quartet as they attempted to find their feet again after a pillar of the group collapsed. If anyone could do it, our superstar sweethearts could”

All eyes were on the new quartet as they attempted to find their feet again after a pillar of the group collapsed. If anyone could do it, our overnight superstar sweethearts could, and thus we find ourselves at the new line-ups first single off the album, ‘Drag Me Down’. Sound wise, it’s a lot moodier and punchier than previous albums with the tone setting up the shop of the album. One Direction have never sounded more grown up. “I’ve got fire for a heart” punches as the first line showing a reignited passion for their jobs; this isn’t a group who want to fizzle out because their Robbie left, à la Take That. This is a band who want to fight for their jobs and prove that they can cope alright without Zayn; he can’t drag them down, if you will.

With Zayn gone, the band are allowed a greater share of the workload and Made in the AM sees Niall Horan stepping forward as an unexpected front man on some of the songs. ‘Infinity’ showcases Niall’s soft and gentle tone which matches neatly with Harry Styles’s strong and husky voice. Whilst

Human Love Newton Faulkner

H

the song isn’t amazing from the off, it becomes memorable as instead of the classic ‘boyband-keychange’ for the final chorus, ‘Infinity’ comes out all guns blazing with guitars and voices alike screaming.

If Made in the AM has the air of the break-up album about it, then the Adele-esque, ‘If I Could Fly’ becomes the crowning headpiece. The song is stripped back to simple vocals, a theme that is developed thought the album, especially seen in ‘I Want to Write You a Song’. Everyone gets a chance to shine in the ode to lost love and convincingly demonstrates just how well the boys can actually sing. ‘If I Could Fly’ is honest and simple; a true ballad to sing in the shower, if singing break-up songs in the shower is your thing.

The album is by no means perfect however. ‘Hey

“You can’t blame them for taking risks when they’re going on a break” Angel’ would have maybe sounded better on a previous album, along with ‘Temporary Fix’, which both seem to clash with the new, stripped back sound of the band. ‘Never Enough’ sounded a little bit like a chant, and not in a good way. Whilst yes, Made in the AM is a risk-taking album, I’m not sure that a melody of clicks and grunts quite fits on the same album that the beautiful ‘If I Could Fly’ appears on.

Made in the AM shows signs of beauty, reminding us just what made One Direction so popular in the first place. You can’t blame them for taking risks when they’re going on a break; the album sounds like they’ve had fun with it. So good job boys. Now go and put your feet up and have a cup of tea, you deserve it.

Helen Daly

Sophie Ahmed talks copyright infringement and sub-zero discos

T More than this

James Bay - Chaos and the Calm One Direction are in their twenties now and with that supposedly brings maturity and sensitivity. So who screams sensitivity and maturity more than long-haired guitar hunk James Bay. His debut album Chaos and the Calm appealed to the demographic of grown-up tweens that had better things to do than scream until they went blue in the face at gigs.

Ed Sheeran - X The second release from ginger popstar Ed Sheeran is both shamelessly poppy and perfect for filling in the gaps that James Bay’s maturity leaves. Albeit more mature than One Direction’s earlier work, the use of R&B and hip-hop elements keep the album from ever becoming too serious. Let’s face it- it’s going to be a while before I for one am going to take 1D seriously.

SeeFu Lilac Black Moth Super Rainbow

Riot Boi Le1f

B

W

uman Love, Newton Faulkner’s 5th album seems like it wants to be a major departure from his earlier work. Indeed the folksy singer-songwriter has even undergone a haircut, losing his signature locks for his new video Get Free. If Newton Faulkner wished to convey a message of development through doing this, then it’s a shame that Human Love suffers from staggeringly boring and standard songs.

Human Love starts off relatively strong with ‘Get Free’, which combines layered vocals, a minimalist guitar track and thumping drums to great effect. After this though the unique qualities of ‘Get Free’ are hard to find, with tracks such as ‘Up Up And Away’ and ‘Passing Planes’ feeling out of place within the album. The songs are over produced and the generalised pop sound that Faulkner is going for quickly wears thin. In fact the compositions themselves are fairly standard, utilising pop structures, melodies and harmonies that sound familiar, but ultimately very boring.

There are some standout tracks including ‘Stay and Take’ feat. Tessa Rose, ‘Can I Be Enough’ and ‘Break’. ‘Stay and Take’ has a fantastic rhythm that’s accompanied by muted guitar and heavy but slight drums. ‘Can I Be Enough’ seems like a strange mixture of early Beck, Wilco and Bon Iver, the song playing to the strengths of Faulkner’s guitar playing as he layers multiple acoustic parts over each other. ‘Break’ is simply Faulkner at his best as he emotionally charges through the lovelorn song, accompanied only by his guitar. It’s tearful stuff, openly honest and forlorn, signalling his strength as a songwriter. Unfortunately the majority of the album never reaches this height and is instead satisfying but underwhelming.

lack Moth Super Rainbow produced an album that one could call orgasmically psychedelic. Despite the deep electronic symphonies and ominously mechanical vocals, the band seemed to convey a soft and almost loving tone in most of the songs in this album, SeeFu Lilac.

The darkest tone in this album would be in the song ‘I Think I’m Evil’. This is also the song that I feel carries the most weight instrumentally in SeeFu Lilac, and also conveys the overall messages of dwindling humanity that is ever present in this album.

It’s hard to find much wrong with the album as a whole but if I were to nitpick, I would have to criticise it’s repetitive nature. This may be ever present in the psychedelia genre but it still does become a bit annoying (especially if you listen to all the songs in one go). However, this doesn’t take away from the masterpiece of this blend between dance and indie.

The most “funky” song on the album that I’d recommend to any shufflers out there is ‘Gangs in the Garden’, it’s like a cross between classic NME indie darlings MGMT and founding member and sole survivor of The Bee Gees, Barry Gibb. This particular track seems to find the elusive middle ground between stoner esque chilled music and dancehall banger. It succeeds in being both a song you can jive and relax to.

In my opinion, I feel the stand out single by farfrom this album is ‘Like a Sundae’. Through its soft melodic tones and upbeat rhythm, it carries the listener on a journey similar to being thrust through melting butter (or an ice cream sundae as the song implies).

Reece Armstrong

Desmond Guobadia

Electronic Blanket

hen I’ve been following the queer hiphop scene I’ve spent a lot of my energies following the exploits of the irascible Mykki Blanco on pretty much every form of social media to the point that I almost forgot about Le1f. Fortunately his debut Riot Boi was more than worth the time I spent digesting it.

The album is a deceptive work of art. It swirls between the aggressive to the sensual and everything inbetween and that is indicated by the myriad of genres encompassed throughout the 12 tracks. The album leader ‘Koi’ is possibly the most chart friendly effort, which makes nods to Destiny Child’s ‘Say My Name’ in its refrain. It also features all the trademarks of PC Music’s SOPHIE who produced this track (autotuned vocals that sound like a teenage girl recorded them on a karaoke machine over a happy house backing track). As I said the album is deceptive, so don’t go away thinking the release is a juvenile effort. The album is incredibly dark throughout to the point that the sweetness of ‘Koi’ midway through the album is somewhat insidious.

At times the release is apocalyptic in its musical audacity with trap, dubstep and IDM deployed to devastating audio effect. Lyrically Leif pulls no punches either and his identity is firmly asserted in ‘Grace Alek Naomi’ when he proudly declares “Fuck you, n***a, I fuck boys”. His racial identity is heartbreaking explored in ‘Taxi’ when he compared being stood up by a partner to the pain he experiences when being stood up by a yellow cab driver on the streets of New York by racist taxi driver.

My personal highlight of the release has to be the closer and collaboration ‘Change’ that shares the angst and yearning that made Cupid Deluxe my favourite album of 2013 Jamie Shepherd

he popular channel Majestic Casual has been terminated by YouTube on grounds of copyright infringement. The German brand was founded in 2011 and claims that it ‘represents the best of electronic music’, only now it seems that this wasn’t done through entirely legal means. Boasting over 2 million subscribers and hundreds of videos, Majestic Casual has provided the perfect soundtrack to uni pre drinks across the country since its conception, with chilled out party tunes from the likes of Kaytranada, Disclosure and Classixx. Those lazy students who prefer their playlists readymade will be mourning over this loss and honing their DJ skills in making mixes of their own. To be honest, it isn’t that much of a disaster because most of the tracks can still be found on Youtube and Spotify. The only difference is that they are no longer accompanied by images of the word ‘majestic’ superimposed over a breath-taking landscape or seductive girl, which never had anything to do with the song anyway. The biggest issue is that if students had to pay for the music they use at pres, they wouldn’t be able to afford nights out to pre for.

Elsewhere, the former Red Hot Chili Pepper John Frusciante has just released a ton of music for free, claiming that, ‘When someone releases music on a label, they are selling it, not giving it. Art is a matter of giving’. This may well have been Majestic Casual’s philosophy, but sadly the artists they select may not be as selfless as John Frusciante.

You Need To Hear: Darius Things have come full circle, as of the last tracks uploaded to Majestic Casual was ‘Pyor’ by Darius, and I was introduced to the channel through Darius’ ambient anthem ‘Hot Hands’. No, I’m not talking about the platinum-selling star of Pop Idol fame, but a new up-and-coming Parisian Producer who goes by the same name. I’m only clearing this up as Spotify has made the mistake of noting Gareth Gates and Will Young as the latter’s Related Artists. On a crisp December’s day in Newcastle, you’re probably not looking for the freshest French funk of tracks like ‘Maliblue’, but its summery sound and the uplifting groove of ‘Espoir’ might just help you see those end of term assessments through to the end. The last thing uploaded to Darius’ Soundcloud is an ethereal reworking of ‘Time’ by Jungle, and the positive feedback from fans proves that they won’t stop dancing to Darius anytime soon, with or without Majestic Casual.

Listen To: Darius – Hot Hands

Preview: Future Funk: The Arctic Dance ft. Jungle That brings me nicely to this week’s big event, another amalgamation of summer vibes and winter chills. Jungle are a band renowned for their live reputation and tropical soul, but in the parallel world of Digital they will be ditching their instruments and playing a mash up DJ set for a crowd adorned in Christmas-y Winter Wonderland wear.

Future Funk has expanded rapidly over the past year, which was always expected from ‘a disco lead cross genre night’, which can do no wrong in my opinion. Having welcomed the likes of Oneman and Benton in the past, Future Funk certainly has the music sorted, but it supersedes many other nights in putting on a visual spectacle too. The effort poured into dressing up the venue for the ‘Deep Sea Disco’ and ‘Return to Neverland’ was matched magnificently by the crowd’s costumes, so dust off your frostiest frock to make this one as cool as ice.

Go follow us on intagram for live gig updates, fun pictures and the latest music gossip@courier_music

30.filmfeatures

Monday 7 December 2015

The Courier

Film Editors: Emma Allsopp, Rhian Hunter & Simon Ramshaw

Time capsule? Or time crapsule?

MEGA FAN

With John Malkovich making the world’s first time-capsule film, Imogen Scott-Chambers uncovers other madder-than-mad filmic experiments and discusses whether they’re worth the hype

G

vs GIANT CYNIC

Bad Boys II

As PC Danny Butterman asks incredulously in Hot Fuzz, “YOU AIN’T SEEN BAD BOYS II?” Michael Hicks and Simon Ramshaw have, and they disagree.

Is Michael Bay’s super-sized, pumped-up sequel an action masterclass, or a racist, misogynistic, jingoistic propaganda piece by one of America’s most profitable auteurs?

Mega Fan

Bad Boys II picks up the story of the dysfunctional buddy-cop duo Mike Lowrey and Marcus Burnett in their mission to bring down Miami’s drug kingpins. This time, the two exchange facing down the Russian mob for a psychopathic Cuban cartel leader Johnny Tapia. Things get worse for the two of them when undercover agent, and Marcus’ sister, Syd has her cover blown and is captured by Tapia.

It’s up to the two of them to once again overcome their differences as they mount a rescue mission.

Whilst the banter between Mike and Marcus isn’t as sharp or fresh this time round, what really makes Bad Boys II is the action. When the explosive finale at Tapia’s compound rolls around you’ve already been carpet-bombed beyond all sense, and Bay saved the biggest booms for last. Couple this with some great firefights and car chases and you have a fantastic film for a night-in.

Michael Hicks

iven the recent crazy news that John Malkovich and Robert Rodriguez are making a film that won’t be shown for a century, I wanted to take a look at similarly crazy film experiments from over the years.

Taking it back to basics, Disney’s first feature film Snow White and the Seven Dwarves was branded ‘experimental’ at the time, it was predicted to be a massive flop - an 83 minute film using pure animation - what was Walt thinking?! Well, apparently, Walt Disney was a genius, as the film was a massive success grossing $8 million upon its initial release, a groundbreaking amount for the time and going on to gross $416 million in total. So for anyone out there thinking that Malkovich has lost his marbles, in 100 years, if anyone is still alive, maybe they will be eating their words.

“I am sure Malkovich and Rodriguez know what they’re doing” In contemporary times, there have been some intriguing film experiments worthy of a mention.

For example, Richard Linklater’s Boyhood in which the film is shot over a 12 year period with the same cast. It depicts the growth (literally) of one boy and the changing family dynamic around him. The film was groundbreaking for taking such a risk in choosing a child actor to follow for 12 years because if he hadn’t developed as a good actor over the course of the years, any previous footage could have been a complete waste of time. Luckily the risk paid off and the film is an honest depiction of one boy’s journey to adulthood.

Okay, I’ll admit it; this is a better Bad Boys film than the first. Hell’s bells, it’s not even Michael Bay’s worst film. However, it is the MOST Michael Bay film in existence, highlighting and saturating the audience’s eyeballs with everything we’ve come to associate with his junk-food style of filmmaking. Colours are assaultive, sexual morality extends to (almost-)necrophilia, and it’s racist towards the people it presumes to empower.

The eponymous undesirable chappies, Mike and Marcus, remain as uncharismatic as ever, with Martin Lawrence’s repulsive portrait of uptight masculinity derailing the stretched narrative evenfurther than it can possibly take. Flitting between Lawrence’s unbearable blithering and sequences of dead bodies being decapitated by speeding cars doesn’t exactly constitute as comedy .

I did enjoy the film in its own relentless way, but when it’s Guantanamo Bay that saves the day at the end, the after-taste is a bit more than horrible.

Simon Ramshaw

many h a v e called it an influential milestone in independent filmmaking because the style and form

was like nothing that had ever been seen before with the purposeful erratic editing, quirky depiction of time and extreme violence.

Additionally, the extremely compelling film Memento was experimental in that it is one of the first films to play around with time in such a diverse

“In 100 years, maybe people will be eating their words”

way. It has also been hailed as one of the most accurate representations of short-term memory loss in cinema, this was an alternative kind of storytelling for a mainstream film to take, changing the way filmmakers thought about how to portray a story. The use of black and white scenes and colour scenes to tell different stories also adds to the unconventionality of Memento.

After considering some of the crazy cinematic experiments that have been extremely successful, I am sure Malkovich and Rodriguez know what they are doing. Unless someone discovers the key to immortality pretty soon, the fate of 100 Years is in the hands of future generations.

Reboots were made for... what exactly?

With the announcement that the time-twisting Memento is being remade, Salman Ali assesses whether remakes are good, cheap, cheerful, or just plain horrible?

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Giant Cynic

Some interesting innovation in film-making came in the form of the found-footage film, with perhaps the most successful example of this being The Blair Witch Project. The film was created on a meagre budget of $22,000, but it grossed $250 million at the box office leaving millions of viewers in complete suspense as a lot of people hadn’t seen anything like it.

One of my favourite films which is groundbreaking in some ways is Quentin Tarantino’s Reservoir Dogs. To begin with, it was Tarantino’s debut film, and his arrival to the world of directing undeniably changed the world of film forever. It is one of the only heist films which does not show the actual heist in question taking place and with only 6 main characters and 10 characters in the whole movie, the detailed character study and drama makes the film very unique and stylish.

Furthermore,

t seems these days ‘remake’ is a Hollywood executive’s favourite word. There have been directors, producers and writers demanding to reboot the hell out of everything that’s hit cinemas in previously.

Now the question that arises here is, why? Because occasionally it really works. Without the original Scarface (1932) there would not have been the 1983 cult classic starring Al Pacino. Same goes for other Hollywood gems as well like King Kong Kong, 21 Jump Street, True Grit, The Departed, etc. Looking back at history of movie industry, y o u will find that most of the popular films a r e polished versions of absolute classics.

Furthermore, fans have been fed with a constant regurgitation of cult classic in form of prequel, sequel and reboots: The Thing (2011), Curse of Chucky (2013) and Nightmare on Elm Street (2010) are prime examples. If none of those mean nothing to you, then clearly you haven’t being paying attention for what’s going on in cinema for past 10 years or so.

The lack of imagination on the part of the studio is more easily explained through the career of John Carpenter. After breathing new life into horror genre with Halloween, Carpenter was cast aside when studio got dried up. As his success grew swiftly, so did the budgets and concepts of his movies meaning by late 80s Carpenter entered the ruthless world of mainstream Hollywood. In

1986, he released Big Trouble In Little China with Kurt Russell’s Jack Burton in lead role. But with a budget of $25-million his biggest movie that time was smashed by James Cameron’s Aliens. That proved to be the beginning of the end for Carpenter. He later claimed that he was not in control that studio is business of making non-challenging movies.

“Why reboot the hell out of everything? Because it occasionally works”

This statement is perfect portrayal of why the landscape of cinema has changed so much. The stakes are higher, with budgets rising year after year, which is proving to be difficult for auteurs to operate within the system.

The latest Carpenter remake in pipeline is Escape From New York York, which Deadline have reported the film will get a Rise of The Planet of Apes treatment, starting with an origin storyline. The reboots of Carpenter films like Halloween, The Fog and The he Thing may lack the bite that made the originals classic but they remind us just how good the old days were.

However Joel Kinnaman, who played the lead role in remake of classic Robocop has something to say in this regard: “If we weren’t doing remakes, nobody would know who Shakespeare was. I’m not saying that RoboCop is Shakespeare, but that’s what we do as human beings. We retell our favorite stories. That’s what we’ve done since we were sitting around campfires. It’s a part of the human spirit. It doesn’t have to be negative to

creativity. It can be completely opposite. That’s how you can break new ground by rethinking something that’s already been done.”

“Remakes of John Carpenter classics lack the originals’ bite”

This is quite understandable, the fact is big budget cinema is not always like this. But the truth is most directors do not possess the genius minds of Spielberg or James Cameron. For the reason that they cannot be trusted with heavy budgets.

As a result mainstream cinema has been taken away from filmmakers and landed into the hands of money h u n g r y, toy business studios.

The Courier

reviewsfilm.31

Monday 7 December 2015

thecourieronline.co.uk/film c2.film@ncl.ac.uk | @Courier_Film

Black Mass (15)

The Good, The Bad and The Ugly: Bruce Willis

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hilst watching Black Mass I was imagining being asked what I think of it. I was brewing phrases like ‘wellpaced’, ‘great cast’ and, dare I admit, ‘sprawling crime epic’. As soon as I snapped out of that daydream I realised that for the first time in as long as my memory serves me, I could feel my eyelids drooping to dangerous levels of cinemasleepiness. What should have been paced effectively felt slow and uneventful. An experienced cast is suffocated by an unspectacular script and excitable editing. Most criminally, though, Black Mass sprawls its limbs so anarchically that we’re left without a tenable core to this story.

Scott Cooper’s third feature is based on the real life events of James ‘Whitey’ Bulger (Johnny Depp), a notoriously psychopathic and elusive gangster hailing from south Boston. The narrative is forced along at gunpoint by interviews with Bulger’s former cohorts, now ‘ratting’ him out for reduced sentences, recalling their nefarious deeds.

We see Whitey rise from threatened small-timer to fully fledged kingpin, facilitated by an alliance with FBI agent and childhood friend John Connelly (Joel Edgerton). Black Mass spans from 1975 to 2011, from the recent aftermath of his release from Alcatraz to his eventual capture in Santa Monica, California. As viewers, we are given glimpses of various ‘points-of-interest’ in Bulger’s life, most of the time amounting to him or one of his goons killing someone.

The structure is where the problems begin, and

from the opening scene in which Bulger’s protégé Kevin Weeks (Jesse Plemons) is inclined to inform us where our story begins in a police interview, it became apparent that these characters were destined to be caged by Cooper’s storytelling. While I don’t mean to be overly critical of a legitimate method of narrative adhesion, it represents a disappointing lack of imagination, something the film’s mercurial subject certainly isn’t lacking in.

What I can say for the interviews is that it’s refreshing to see these gangsters admit unflinchingly to their heinous crimes, as opposed to the silent treatment trope commonly seen in this genre. Still, the interviews act merely as intertitles, and we’re never granted access to what the supporting players really think of Whitey.

I feel it necessary to talk about the acting in Black Mass because it’s been such a popular talking point in the build-up to the film’s release. Johnny Depp is not winning an Oscar for this film and a nomina-

tion shouldn’t be assumed. On the upside, it’s the best he’s performed in a while, and shows what he can do when not tied up by Tim Burton or anyone else using him as a mind-numbing eccentric. Joel Edgerton is also, as usual, a credit to the film, and his character’s arc and motivation could have been the key to rescuing Black Mass from mediocrity.

Other than those two, big names are given little to do. Benedict Cumberbatch does an agreeable job as Billy Bulger, and even references ‘Baker Street’.

Peter Sarsgaard makes a brilliant cameo but is swiftly silenced. Corey Stoll is fiery but pointless.

Black Mass is an example of a relatively inexperienced filmmaker mishandling a broad source material and set of actors. This isn’t even Johnny Depp’s best film about a notorious gangster (see Public Enemies), let alone one of the better gangster films of recent years.

More like this: Goodfellas (1990) William Leng

Carol (15)

The Good Dinosaur (PG)

Bridge of Spies (12A)

The Good: Die Hard (1988) Rightfully considered one of the greatest action movies ever made, Die Hard propelled Bruce Willis into Hollywood stardom, going against his previous typecasting as a comedic television actor.

There’s still lots of fun to be had though, with Willis’ now iconic take as the vest-wearing, catchphrase-quoting John McClane giving the film the humorous edge it needed. Jumping off an exploding building with a fire hose is of course ludicrously awesome, but Willis is able to ground the film with a surprisingly human performance that makes us want him to kick ass even more. What else can be said other than “yippee-ki-yay, motherfucker”?

The Bad: Look Who’s Talking Too (1990)

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tarring the fantastic Rooney Mara and the title character played by award-winning Cate Blanchett, Carol examines the difficulties surrounding same-sex relationships in the mid-twentieth century. Set in 1950s Manhattan, Therese Belivet, (Mara) a young department store worker, meets Carol Aird (Blanchett) and the two quickly develop a strong bond.

Of course, given the 1950s setting, the course of true love cannot run smooth. Carol’s embroilment in a rough divorce and custody battle for her daughter puts a spanner in the works, with her jealous and narrow-minded husband determined to exact his revenge for his wife’s supposed deviance.

While the custody battle plotline adds muchneeded drama to the film, the real focus is on the development of Therese and Carol’s relationship.

The film’s main strength for me was in Mara and Blanchett’s performances; so impeccably and with such subtlety they capture the complications of their illicit affair in its context, as well as the absolute reality of their unconditional love. For me, the fact that the prejudices they face were once a reality, that such a strong bond could be deemed ‘immoral,’ was enough to really pull at the heartstrings.

But society’s distaste is incidental; the real focus is love, a refreshing look at the history of same-sex relationships that doesn’t attempt to create dramatic tension through brutal depictions of unjust persecution. With Mara and Blanchett dominating screen-time, the one-dimensional, misguidedly prejudiced male characters could’ve perhaps been developed more, they didn’t really need to be as Mara and Blanchett’s outstanding on-screen chemistry is enough to carry the entire film.

You simply cannot watch this film without feeling both the absolute sorrow and elation experienced by Therese and Carol. The Oscars are calling…

More like this: A Single Man (2009) Rhian Hunter

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ixar’s latest offering, The Good Dinosaur, has recently been released to mixed reviews, something that I can definitely understand.

The Good Dinosaur focuses on Arlo, the smallest Apatosaurus in his family, who therefore has extra challenges to overcome. He is stereotyped as the most fearful in the film, and his father help him recover from this. However, he then is swept away (figuratively and literally) into one big adventure in the wilds beyond his home.

The film is quite funny in its portrayal of the world in which the meteor that killed the dinosaurs never even hit the Earth, but just shot on by, and the film imagines what could have been. Humans are now the ‘critters’ that steal food supplies and howl at the moon, and the dinosaurs have been able to become farmers.

However, I must admit to being slightly disappointed by this film. As a Disney-Pixar film, I had hoped that the storytelling wouldn’t be as basic as it was. The same tried and tested tropes were used yet again – I had to relive another Mufasa death scene and ghostly fatherly apparition, something that’s never as good or as moving as in The Lion King.

Disney films are usually also quite masterful with their subtle morals and warnings, yet this time, the message was almost smacking you in the face. Don’t always trust in appearances and first encounters – the ones that look as if they’d hurt you, could be the ones to save you and things aren’t always as they seem to be. It’s an important message in today’s world, but repeated throughout the film with many different characters until it moves beyond a quiet realisation into humdrum.

However, the film didn’t fail in providing a wonderful cast of characters, and the brilliant story of friendship between the Arlo and his human pet, ‘Spot’ was just as sweet as I expected from the trailer, and very much the film’s redeeming quality.

More like this: The Land Before Time (1988)

ridge Of Spies, as its oddly literal title suggests, is not a film that errs far from formula. It’s a Cold War thriller about a captured Russian spy (Rylance), a captured American pilot, and an insurance lawyer (Hanks) tasked with mediating their exchange in Berlin. Countless films have exploited the stylistic potential of this era, and this is no exception, with endless, suitclad middle aged men smoking in fastidiously recreated 1950’s settings.

Sadly, this obsessive streak is also seen in the script itself, which goes to painstaking lengths to accurately reproduce every cliché it can. Emotional moments, such as the ‘Standing Man’ scene featured in the trailer, are barely half-earnt, however hard the score tries, and when, at one point, a judge solemnly informs Hanks that this is a battle of civilisations, damnit, it took effort to stifle laughter.

There are occasional inspired touches, a running shot trailing a bicycle along the freshly built Berlin Wall, the crying schoolkids watching a public service broadcast about nuclear attack, but they do little to change the overall sense that this is a story that didn’t really need to be told (again). This feeling manifests itself far clearer later on, when Hanks watches would-be wall climbers brutally gunned down as he rides the U-Bahn. Like a cinematic Gorbachev, Spielberg’s hubristic honesty is his undoing.

Once we see the Berliners dying on the streets below, our apathy suddenly finds a focal point Why should we care about some mid-level diplomacy, about our hero with his head-cold who just wants to go home? About the lazy half-comic bickering between the CIA agents, or Hanks’ evasive legal wordplays? If you want to get away with a trite half-thriller set in a miniature police state, glasnost may not be the policy for you.

Katie Read

George Severs

More like this: Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy (2011)

Littered with poop jokes and other lacklustre writing, this sequel stars Willis once again as Mikey, a toddler who subconsciously commentates on his everyday observations.

Although the first film had some charm thanks to Willis’ comedic quips, here we’re faced with a mundane sibling rivalry, all whilst parents Kirstie Alley and John Travolta (in another of his bad movie phases) squabble over insignificant family matters. The adult voiceovers are now tedious to endure, as we’re forced to listen to Mikey ramble about every minuscule detail – do we really need to know his thoughts on potty training? The dubbing is so atrocious it may as well have been recorded in Willis’ garage; it’s enough to put anybody off having kids.

The Ugly: Sin City (2005) Probably cinema’s most faithful comic book adaptation, Robert Rodriguez’s take on Frank Miller’s gritty noir tales of the titular metropolis showcases both groundbreaking visuals and a stylish soundtrack.

Though the film features many notable performances in its interwoven storylines, Willis’ portrayal of Detective Hartigan is his strongest onscreen role to date, sombrely playing a wrongly convicted cop with one last case to close. The ‘ugly’ comes from the film’s hyperbolic gory violence (think decapitation and cannibalism), with Hartigan’s retribution being no exception – killing the paedophile who imprisoned him by tearing off his genitals and beating his face to a mushy pulp; ouch.

Zoë Godden

32.filmfeature

Monday 7 December 2015

The Courier

Cracking Christmas films: your top 10

As voted by readers of The Courier, here are your favourite festive films

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9. In Bruges

10. Gremlins

ittle cute yet evil creatures, a 1980’s soundtrack, that fit girl from Fast Times at Ridgemont High and the directing talents of Chris Columbus would make anything worthy of a top 10 list, but Gremlins has the added advantage of being set at Christmas. This makes it pure cinematic magic. Although not your usual yule-tide tale, the Christmas backdrop creates the perfect amalgamation of sinister and humourous in this festive black comedy. Anyone who has seen Gremlins has instantly fallen in

love with the main Mogwai Gizmo, anyone who hasn’t needs to. Even though the Mogwai have a mean streak, the films drama really stems from the main character, Billy Peltzer’s human error by ignoring the three crucial key rules of owning a Mogwai: keep them out of sunlight ; never get them wet; never feed them after midnight.

So don’t let the rumours put you off, this film is a Christmas classic that is both naughty and nice.

Imogen Scott-Chambers

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ou may have heard somewhere that Bruges, Belgium is pronounced ‘broozh’, but not the heroes of In Bruges. Our heroes are Irish hitmen sent to Bruges by their boss for two weeks after a hit goes badly wrong. One is a young hothead, who sees no reason to be anywhere but Dublin, and the other is an older, gentler and curious traveller.

It is one of my favourite films, as it inspired me desire to visit Europe’s best-preserved medieval city, Bruges. Here, Martin McDonagh made his

debut as writer and director, and I must say, he did a marvellous job as its dark and human comedy with an unpredictable storyline that can only be enjoy with family and peers, and oddly, around Christmas too.

The irony of deaths in the film has irrefutable logic; that even professional murderers have feelings, which why In Bruges stands out from rest.

Not the cheeriest Christmas film, but an essential one.

Salman Ali

7. How the Grinch Stole Christmas

8. Love Actually

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traight away the soothing voice of Hugh Grant is showing us how Love Actually is a perfect Christmas film. The different storylines means that no person watching is left out of the Christmas love and joy fest as something appeals to everyone. Likewise, the huge range of actors means that one of everyone’s favourites will be somewhere in the film, be it someone like Alan Rickman or Rowan Atkinson. Put simply, it is a film that represents the spirit of Christmas so well, whatever your opinion on the holiday is, with old couples, new couples and families all being brought together. Anyone who disagrees should be directed to this line from the film: love actually is all around. Hard to not agree with such a happy message, yes it’s cheesy but so is Christmas so put away the Grinch costume and join me in watching Love Actually for the 50th time.

Jenny Cooke

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hy is How The Grinch Stole Christmas such a Christmas classic? Because it’s Dr. Seuss! He’s the genius that wrote many children’s stories like The Cat In The Hat, Horton Hear’s A Who - they just make you feel all happy and fuzzy inside. And that is exactly what all of us should feel on Christmas Day. We also can’t ignore the fact how visually pleasing the whole film is. How pretty Whoville is designed though? The cute architecture of the houses decorated with so many Christmas lights, just illustrates the Christmas spirit beautifully.

Everyone’s super adorable costumes too; just look at Christine Baranski’s bold fashion choices.

They are spot-on. And not to mention each character’s to-die-for updos. But I personally think the best reason why The Grinch is in the list, is obviously because Little J (Taylor Momsen) is still in her pre-grudge-punk-reckless innocent self.

Gupita Prameswari

5. The Muppet Christmas Carol

6. It’s a Wonderful Life

rank Capra’s 1946 timeless classic is a darker movie than many realise. Suicide? Drowning? Bankruptcy? It doesn’t sound like your average cheery Chrimbo flick.

However, these dark moments (admittedly along with plenty of humorous ones) add up to an operatic tale of misery, greed and ultimately redemption and love. The inimitable James Stewart plays George Bailey, a man who has devoted his life to helping others, rather than following his own dreams.

The film begins with a series of flashbacks to George’s past. As we witness how his life has panned out, we see just how much he has given up to help his friends and neighbours. On Christmas Eve, we find him drunk, broke and ready to end it all. I won’t tell you how it unfolds, but it’s sure to bring a smile to even the biggest of Scrooges amongst us.

If you’re going to choose one Christmas film this year, watch this definitive, wonderful one.

Harry Musson

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hough Dickens’ holiday classic has been adapted for the big screen numerous times, it’s the version with our famous furry friends that stays in our memories.

Released during the pinnacle of the Muppets movie career, the film stays true to its source whilst adding the anarchic humour we’ve come to know and love from Hollywood’s most iconic puppets. There’s no Bob Cratchit or Jacob Marley to be found here; instead, a whole host of your favourite characters like Kermit and Fozzie

Bear fill in, breaking the fourth wall gleefully as they go. It’s the perfect introduction to the classic tale for younger viewers, featuring an array of Yuletide songs, and Michael Caine excelling out of typecast as the cold hearted Scrooge. Perhaps more heartwarming is the film’s dedication to Muppets creator Jim Henson who passed away before the film’s production. Overall, a surprisingly faithful adaptation that’s sure to wean the ‘humbug!’ out of you.

Zoe Godden

The Courier

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featurefilm.33

Monday 7 December 2015

4. Home Alone

ncapsulating the allure of childhood fantasies, Home Alone reaches out to the inner child in us all; reminding us of a time when the tantalising prospect of independence promised empowerment and unlimited freedom, and when Christmas was still magical and full of mystery.

It has inspired kids around the world to slap aftershave on their face, order cheese pizzas and to devise their own fiendish plans to maim intruders. Yes, using disproportionate force to protect one’s property has never been so entertaining, it’s just a good job our mischievous little tyke Kevin didn’t live in the UK, otherwise the Occupier’s Liability Act 1984 may have put a bit of dampener on proceedings. Thankfully for us, Kevin wasn’t obliged to place signs warning Harry and Marv of his diabolical traps, so classic slapstick comedy could ensue, but with just enough heart and festive cheer to make Home Alone the timeless Christmas classic that we all love.

Christopher Little

“I think we’re getting scammed by a kindergartener”

3. Die Hard

2. Elf

“Buddy the Elf, what’s your favourite colour?”

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“Yippee-ki-yay, motherfucker!”

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ie Hard is a bit of an anomaly. It’s the only film on this list that is both a Christmas film and a ‘Summer Blockbuster’, and the only one other than In Bruges (which I fully object to being a Christmas film) released more than a month either side of our favourite holiday.

Yet its Christmas Eve setting and constant television re-runs in the holiday season have solidified its status as a festive classic. Die Hard, I

guess, is kind of like Santa in a way. It bestowed upon the world a most generous gift: a squinty quip-master by the name of Bruce Willis.

Creating an international superstar is no small feat, and Willis represented a more relatable action hero than the brawn of Schwarzenegger & Stallone. So thank you Die Hard, Hard and Merry Christmas.

William Leng

lf is a heart-warming Christmas comedy about an ‘elf ’ called Buddy who finds out he is actually a human. He embarks on a festive adventure in New York City to find his biological father, and by default, himself.

There are many laughs and lots of silliness along the way such as brawling with a fake Santa Claus, mistaking whiskey for syrup and cramming eleven cookies into the VCR machine, but there is more to this film. At its heart is the problem of the lack of Christmas spirit, which at one point threatens to ruin the whole holiday itself, but with the help of Buddy, it is reawakened. This is paralleled in reality by those pesky humbug cynics, but just like Buddy this film oozes Christmas spirit and is the perfect way to get into the festive mood. Grab some mulled wine and a mince pie and stick this on, it’s one of the best.

Emma Allsopp

1. The Nightmare Before Christmas

Images: Youtube Illustrations: Lewis Bedford

“Girls and boys of every age, wouldn’t you like to see something strange?”

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t’s been twenty-one years since the release of The Nightmare Before Christmas, and yet it still holds as one of the best Christmas films of our generation. Somehow it manages to capture the brilliant feelings that Christmas holds, in all its complexity. From the catchy songs to the beautifully crafted sets and character designs, there’s something about this film that seems to settle and capture our imaginations.

Burton, writer, manages to give us a changed perspective of the holiday season, of course bringing with a totally enchanting, and enriched, ending, that seems to work perfectly with its nonconventional storyline and its wonderfully, wacky characters. The Nightmare Before Christmas is an easy winner, emphasising the elegance of stop-motion animation; and, just as Jack Skellington feels the simple curiosity towards Christmas Town, with its bright colours and its whimsical creatures, you will - no doubt, feel it too.

Jonathan Hastings

34.tvfeatures

Monday 7 December 2015

The Courier

TV Editors: Jack Parker, Hannah Bunting & Helen Daly

Geek Peek

You’re remaking me laugh

With all of the recent remakes flying around including Are You Being Served, Imogen Scott Chambers looks at the best and worst remakes of years gone by

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This week, Dominic Corrigan gives us the low-down on DC’s most hotly-anticipated new show

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his year’s The Flash/Arrow crossover will set the stage for DC’s Legends of Tomorrow. The new show will see a team of heroes (and a few villains) fight an immortal and powerful threat, Vandal Savage. When timetraveller Rip Hunter comes from a dark future, he brings these characters together to fight the big bad, in order to save the world and time itself.

The team consists of popular side characters used in The Flash and Arrow, and has an interesting mix of powers and personalities. Ray Palmer is The Atom, a quirky, charismatic and extremely rich genius in a robotic suit. As some of you may be thinking, he is pretty similar to Iron Man, though The Atom can also shrink. White Canary is Sara Lance’s new identity. Originally known as the Black Canary, before her sister Laurel took the moniker, she was one of Oliver Queen’s primary allies in Arrow. However, after her death in the third season and her subsequent resurrection in the fourth, she’s changed as the forces that brought her back to life intensify her bloodlust. Firestorm, a combination of Jefferson ‘Jax’ Jackson and Professor Martin Stein, is likely to further explore his nuclear powers, while Jax and Professor Stein will likely develop a stronger bond akin to Stein and Ronnie’s bond in The Flash season 1.

“Villains Captain Cold and Heat Wave will certainly add an extra dimension to the team, being significantly less moral than their heroic allies.”

Though only realising her abilities in the crossover episodes, Kendra Saunders has been appearing on The Flash for a little while, and she will become Hawkgirl. Her destined lover, Hawkman (aka Carter Hall), will first appear in the crossover episode also. In the comics, Hawkman and Hawkgirl are reincarnated throughout time after they die, and come together in each life. With the time travel element present in Legends of Tomorrow, it’s highly possible they’ll encounter their past selves.

Villains Captain Cold and Heat Wave, known as Leonard Snart and Mick Rory respectively, come from The Flash and will certainly add an extra dimension to the team, being significantly less moral than their heroic allies. The Flash and Captain Cold have a strange relationship, with Captain Cold knowing The Flash’s true identity and The Flash allowing Captain Cold to be free as long as he doesn’t kill innocents.

Speaking of villains, however, leads us to the antagonist Vandal Savage. This manipulative immortal has been influencing history throughout the ages and in the not too distant future, he manages to unite the world under his tyrannical reign. Though his exact plans are unclear, synopses hint that Savage may well put the world and time in danger. It is likely that Savage will be the most powerful threat seen in the DC TV universe so far, as no other villain has required a dedicated teamup on this scale and without a genuinely powerful menace, the show would fall flat.

Fans of The Avengers and the DC TV properties should definitely check out Legends of Tomorrow.

And anyone interested in Legends of Tomorrow should take a look at the crossover episodes for The Flash season 2 and Arrow Season 4, as they will lay down a lot of the groundwork.

am getting sick of seeing some of my favourite TV shows being remade and I am even more annoyed about the rumours that circulate about potential remakes. They just put me on edge for weeks and months until the remake eventually arrives on my screen: a massive disappointment and waste of time kind of like when your burn a pizza. I know there are original ideas out there so why are people being so lazy? Why can’t people just let amazing TV stay preserved and untouched by modern hands - is that too much to ask for? With all this said and done, maybe there are a few - and I mean a very small amount - of remakes that aren’t completely terrible but to begin with let’s just talk about all the truly dire dribble out there.

“The original BBC House of Cards is revered as a masterpeice and although I admire the skill and artistry, the remake oozes style and sleaze in a way the original failed to do”

A prime example is: The Inbetweeners (2012) the stateside remake of The Inbetweeners UK TV series (2008-2010). The English Inbetweeners is generally loved by anyone who had any awkward secondary school experiences - which is pretty much everyone. The four main actors are totally believable and enthralling as their characters and the stories are completely cringe and laugh-out-loud funny.

With such a perfect recipe for comedic joy, why did anyone think they could recreate this magic. It is like taking a Nigella Lawson recipe and saying: “Well what if we just add a whole heap of American stuff, that would make this perfect chocolate cake even better wouldn’t it? The simple answer is: no, it would not. You cannot improve Nigella’s recipes, and you cannot improve upon The Inbetweeners.

Another type of remake I have a real distaste for is Agatha Christie’s stories. Stop remaking Miss Marple with any actress that fancies a pop at it, Margaret Rutherford did an amazing job back in the 1950s, and although I am not saying we should all go back to watching the TV from the era of misogyny, it is just that I think sometimes we forget the greatness that has come before. Of late, there has been Marple after Marple and I feel stuck on a perpetual Marple rollercoaster: Joan Hickson, Gerladine McEwan, Julia McKenzie - whos next?

I love the Marple stories but maybe we should do some re-runs instead of so many remakes. The same rant applies to Poirot, although he has not been re-represented quite so many times with everyone realising that David Suchet really got it spot on in the TV series that ran from 1989 to 2013.

One remake that I can’t quite make my mind up about is House of Cards (2013) with the mesmerising Kevin Spacey. The original BBC House of Cards (1990) is revered as a masterpiece and although I do admire the skill and artistry of the series, the 2013 remake oozes style and sleaze in a way that the original failed to do. The original is perhaps in true British style a bit too polite whereas the modern remake has changed with the times and provided a more bold and direct insight into the slimy world of politics. I also admire the ways in which the series adapted to the American setting, unlike The Inbetweeners.

With the advent of many remakes of classic British comedy on the horizon, such as Dads Army and Are You Being Served, I begin to worry that soon nothing will remain untouched.

Remaking a wish

Our writers reveal their ideal remakes; listen up production companies.

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f your childhood wasn’t filled with Creamy Muck Muck or Dirty Norris then I feel very, very sorry for you. Dick and Dom in Da Bungalow entertained the nation on weekend mornings between 2002 and 2006, a disastrously short period of time.

With characters such as Harry Batt, The Prize Idiot and Tomdickunharry, viewers were treated to up to three hours of surreal and disturbing fun, in which two grown adults acted less mature than the majority of the children who participated. The show’s inventive finale featured spoofs on shows such as Deal or No Deal, The Crystal Maze and The Weakest Link: Dick and Dom’s imagination was one (or two) of a kind, the likes of which that we will never see again.

“Viewers were treated to up to three hours of surreal and disturbing fun, in which two grown adults acted less mature than the majority of the children who participated” Unless it makes a mucky return in 2016. Who doesn’t want to see, after a ten year absence, the two big kids sticking giant pictures of their own faces to people’s backs in Eeenymeanymackerrackerraridominackashickapoppadickywhopperrompomstick? Who doesn’t want to see the general public break out in outrage as the pair battle celebrities at who can shout “bogeys” in a library the loudest? And perhaps most importantly, who doesn’t want to see the fake Geordie Harry Batt interrogate Dom over a jar of garlic mayonnaise, bursting into the room through a cardboard door and screaming “NAEBODY MOOVE”?

The return of Dick and Dom in Da Bungalow would not only bring a shed of heroically idiotic light to a dark world, but it would also bring Melvin Odoom back from the Xtra Factor to the lunacy where he belongs.

In true Dick and Dom Muck Muck Finale tradition, there’s really only one thing left to say. GO GO GO! Alex Hendley

A

Bewitched remake for 2016? It was the day I turned 10 when I was given a boxed set of the 1960s American comedy fantasy series. Over the following month, the series became intrinsically part of weekday evenings.

Encircling a young witch named Samantha (played by the charming Elizabeth Montgomery) married to a mortal advertising executive named Darrin Stephens, the series is set in a quintessentially suburban American neighbourhood. Owing to his insecurity about his wife’s powers, Darrin forbids Samantha from using them, to which she heaven knows why - agrees. This, of course, does not bode well with Samantha’s family: in one episode, Samantha’s mother Endora turns him into a werewolf and in another, replaces his head with that of a pig’s.

What a different age it was. Overlapping with the African-American Civil Rights Movement, several episodes held particular poignancy: in one, the Stephens’ young daughter Tabitha transforms her and an African-American playmates’ skin tone to a black-white polka dot hybrid after a bully tells the pair that, owing to their different skin colours, they cannot be sisters.

“Owing to his insecurity about his wife’s powers, Darrin forbids Samantha from using them, to which she - heaven knows why - agrees. This, of course, does not bode well with Samantha’s family: in one episode, Samantha’s mother Endora turns him into a werewolf ”

In another echo of the series’ progressiveness, this was perhaps the first instance of the idea of a “mixed marriage”, never mind between a witch and mortal, being portrayed so lovingly.

Today’s television could do with another round of this: tonguein-cheek, unpretentious and innocent, with overtones of the age’s social limitations. A Bewitched remake that stays true to the essence that made it special would be, I think, magic.

Sunil Nambiar

The Courier

highlightstv.35

Monday 7 December 2015

thecourieronline.co.uk/tv c2.tv@ncl.ac.uk | @courier_tv

Curb your enthusiasm

pet

Y The Royal Variety Performance ITV, Friday, 7:30pm

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t’s approaching that time of the year again… nope, I’m not talking about Christmas (although that is fast approaching!) I’m talking about the Royal Variety Performance 2015. The Variety Performance has been a fixture for over 100 years, the first performance being in 1912 before King George V. Now, decades later, the show is watched round the globe by more than 150 million viewers.

This year’s 2015 Royal Variety Performance is a special year as it marks the first performance since the Variety Charity has been awarded the honour of the sanctioned use of the word ‘Royal’ in its name, hence now being known as the ‘Royal Variety Charity’.The Royal Variety Charity offers support to those who have worked in the entertainment industry, whether it be behind the scenes or on camera, who have then struggled as a result of illness, financial difficulty or old age.

Each year members of the royal family observe the show and show their support and patronage for the charity, and this year, the positon of royal guest of honour has been given for the first time to everyone’s favourite ginger, Prince Harry. The performance took place on Friday 13th November and is due to be aired on our ITV screens early in December.

But what can we expect from this year’s show?

Well as ever, you can sit back, relax and enjoy as a range of artists (some old favourites and some new faces) entertain you for the evening. The show is a superb selection of family entertainment with singing, magic, comedy, dancing and speciality acts. A place in the line-up is an honour and places in the variety performance are coveted.

Fangirls, delight: looks like we can expect an appearance from One Direction. From the photos released, so far, it seems that Prince Harry has been doing some serious bonding with Harry Styles - is a surprising bromance emerging? Are we witnessing yet another victim of the famous Styles charm?

Perhaps it’s a good thing Zayn Malik has left the band avoiding any awkward behind-the-

scenes encounters with Little Mix (including Zayn’s ex-girlfriend Perrie) also performing.

Everyone’s favourite Aussie, Kylie Minogue, modelling an impressive number of feathers, (you’ll see what I’m talking about) also makes an appearance, as do Jack Whitehall (as the evening’s host), Alesha Dixon, Sir Elton John, Chris Ramsey and the cast of the Mary Poppins musical, to name but a view.

It wouldn’t be quite right to talk about the Royal Variety Performance without drawing on its association with ‘Britain’s Got Talent’, with the winner of Simon Cowell’s talent show earning a spot in the variety performance line up. Among the evening’s entertainment, we can look forward to an appearance from BGOT 2015 winner Jules O’Dwyer & Matisse (her border collie) and their dog dancing act.

So there we have it: a brief introduction of what we can expect from the annual Royal Variety Performance and, for me, a traditional part of the build up to the Christmas season.

Amy Baird

ou’re probably sat there like, ‘How can you hate Gordon Ramsay?!’, right? How can you despise someone who, when presented with a horrible chimichanga at a backwoods diner, says “Can you chimi-chuck it in the bin?”

And the truth is I don’t. I don’t hate the man, in fact I think he’s a treasure. The problem I have is with the American versions of his most famous TV shows, because they have truly ruined a once great diamond in the rough of reality TV. If you’ve ever had the pleasure to catch the UK version of Kitchen Nightmares, or you simply haven’t heard of it, you need to re-evaluate your free time, because it is amazing. There’s no horrible jump cuts, previously on sections, or camera shake when Gordon punches some overdone scallops. There’s no buzzwords and overdone narration “THE MOST SHOCKING HELL’S KITCHEN EVER” it’s just Ramsey’s snake-like tongue, the cameras, and a restaurant that isn’t doing very well.

In the American version of his shows, especially Hell’s Kitchen, Gordon almost takes a back seat, though he’s the star.

“Gordon doesn’t have to do much at all really, apart from shout at people and punch food.”

It’s evident from the start that they’ve picked these zany people, not because of cooking ability, but a) they will conflict with each other and b) they’re actors. It’s a total setup, and it’s glaring.

Gordon doesn’t have to do much at all really, apart from shout at people and punch food. How many episodes of Kitchen Nightmares have you watched where he threatens to walk out, does so, and then comes back and fixes it all? There’s no variation or constructive criticism, he doesn’t make these people better cooks. It’s just sadistic schadenfreude.

One contestant discussed singing a copyrighted song whilst crying so the show couldn’t air his hysterics.

Grey’s Anatomy

Tripped

Sky Living, Wednesday, 9pm

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eason 11 left the viewers with a myriad of different emotions, with grief ranking chief amongst them. (Spoiler Warning) With Patrick Dempsey’s desire to exit the show, Rhimes killed off one of the most beloved characters of the show, going toe-to-toe with George R.R. Martin on major character deaths.

While Rhimes’ other hits, like Scandal and How to Get Away with Murder pushing up the ratings ladder, Rhimes’ greatest success will always be Grey’s Anatomy, a show that’s now in its 12th season.

With huge cast changes over the last five seasons, as well as ratings dips, and admittedly sub-par acting, the show re-invents itself in its 12th instalment. In an interview with E!Online, Rhimes said, Meredith Grey has never been defined by her relationship with a man.” Long-time fans of the show might finally get to see the titular character get the focussed attention that she so desperately needs, as Grey begins to live life completely on her own terms.

Kepner and Torres begin to explore their own lives after relationship complexities, which have become a far too common theme in their characterisation.

With one’s marriage up in the air, and another looking forward after a broken one, it’s no surprise that Grey’s once notorious bad boys have grown into the show’s most respectable and stable characters.

As Grey’s draws closer to it’s ultimate end, season 12 is likely to get the wheels moving for one last defining instalment of the long running medical drama. It seems like Rhimes is ready to end the series on a lighter note, with more of a whimper than a bang Ritwick Sarkar

Prey

E4, Tuesday, 10pm

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icturing any of the Inbetweeners cast with a sword is an immediate cause for concern, never mind when hapless Neil is yielding it. Yet Blake Harrison is doing just that in Tripped, the new comedy drama series coming to E4 this week.

The four-part series sees Harrison star as Danny, an average 24-year-old slowly attempting to grow up. With wedding bells not far away, it’s time to move on from the days of getting high with best friend Milo and settle down with long-term girlfriend Kate (Georgina Campbell).

This isn’t a decision supported by Milo, however. When Milo (George Webster) opts for hallucinogens over Danny’s engagement party, only for Danny himself appear in front of his eyes.

Claiming to be from a parallel universe, and looking like a character more suited to Game of Thrones than an E4 comedy, Danny brings a frightful warning. Of course, Milo is too out of it to remember just what that is, and soon enough the luckless duo are dragged into a fantasy quest to save the world.

From the mind of Doctor Who writer Jamie Mathieson, Tripped isn’t your typical E4 comedy. Mixing its comedic moments with dangerous adventures, Danny and Milo are strapped in for a rollercoaster ride.

Tripping through countless parallel universes, it’s not long before the pair meet different versions of themselves. No time for a catch-up over a cuppa: a deadly assassin is following their every move. Will Danny make it back to his own Kate in one piece, or will it be down to Milo to keep his friend safe?

Reece Hanson

ITV, Wednesday 9pm

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he gripping, BAFTA-nominated drama Prey is returning for its second series on ITV with a completely new story. The three part series will be produced by Red Production Company and once again be written by Chris Lunt.

Filmed in Manchester, Salford, and Blackpool from the beginning of May, the new season stars Phillip Glenister, who plays the role of prison officer David Murdoch, whose life become complicated after a routine visit to a Manchester hospital with female prisoner Jules Hope spirals out of control. He takes a phone call that will change his life forever and suddenly sees him on the wrong side of the law. With his pregnant daughter’s life being threatened, David has no choice but to go on the run and become the ‘prey’. During the chase, he even uses Jules as bargaining tool to save his daughter. DS Susan Reindhart, who was unaware of the danger to Emma, tries to find out why the prison officer is acting totally out of character.

Rosie Cavaliero is reprising her role as DS Susan Reinhardt. Philip Glenister join the show as David Murdoch. Other new addition to the show include Nathan Stewart-Jarrett as DC Richard Iddon, DS Reindhart’s partner; MyAnna Buring as Jules Hope, Sammy Winward as David’s pregnant daughter. Kieran O’Brien and Lisa Millet are also slated to appear.

Unpredictable with real pace, Prey is a refreshing twist on the crime genre. Following the hugely successful three-episode first season last year, the second season is expected to be as exceptional as its predecessor.

Nathasya Gunawan

The saddest part about all this is that when you see someone have a mental breakdown on Hell’s Kitchen USA, it’s probably very real. Interviews from contestant’s post-NDA talk about never having a wallet or a phone, wearing a microphone all day, and not being allowed to sleep until the last person is in bed. It’s like the bloody Hunger Games.

One contestant in an article I read discussed singing a copyrighted song whilst crying so the show couldn’t air his hysterics. They will manipulate the outlook of the show by making the other contestants talk about another going ‘crazy’ to make it seem like they’re actually insane, when they’re really not, they’re just cracking under the pressure.

That brings me on to my most hated thing in all this: those little mini interviews they intersect every scene with, where they utter some moronic phrase, or create a bit of petty drama. I don’t know why every reality TV show wants to copy the mockumentary style of The Office, but it’s just daft.

American reality TV is usually about 15 minutes of action and the rest of the hour is adverts. Don’t waste more of my time.

Another thing that seems to crop up in the Atlantic transfer is product placement. Conveniently, when they win a challenge on Hell’s Kitchen, they always seem to be going to see Celine Dion at the Bellagio. About 5 minutes of the cooking show replaced with her singing, and each contestant talking about how amazing she is.

Come back to the UK, Gordon, we miss you.

Jordan Oloman

36.gaming

Monday 7 December 2015

The Courier

Gaming Editors: Michael Hicks, Ollie Burton & James McCoull

Top 5 banned videogames Jared Moore lifts the censor to take a peek at what lies beneath

5. Fallout 3 - Australia So, throughout this list of banned games you’re going to hear about one country in particular on several occasions. Our friends over in the southern pacific just like a good banning. Now, we start off our list with Fallout 3. I know, you’re thinking “but that wasn’t banned in Australia” - and you would be right. However, upon its initial contact with the game, Australia refused classification for the game due to claims it promoted drug consumption. The developers then reassessed the situation and replaced drugs like morphine and codeine with our favourite in game painkiller: Med-X.

4. EA Sports MMA - Denmark A game that encourages you to beat your opponent to a pulp and then celebrate shamelessly like you’ve just won the lottery... pretty easy to see why this game was banned right? Wrong! EA Sports MMA was banned in Denmark because it broke a law there prohibiting anyone to advertise the sale of energy drinks. With the game being heavily linked with and sponsored by energy drinks, Denmark banned its sale. Those Relentless Monsters!

What I’m Playing: Psychonauts Jordan Oloman takes a trip down memory lane with a classic 3D game

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hen I was a bairn, at the ripe old age of 9, my dad came and picked me up and took me to see Revenge of the Sith.

Before that, he let me go to Toys R Us to pick a new game for the Xbox. What a day, right? Admittedly, I think he was getting sick of watching me play Jet Set Radio Future for hours whenever I saw him, and you can only listen to J-Pop for so long. When I picked up Psychonauts, the small Double Fine logo in the corner never occurred to me, and my dad - a veteran of Tim Schafer’s games, Grim Fandango and Monkey Island to name a couple - probably didn’t notice it either, but I wouldn’t be mad if he pushed me towards it either. It seems like good taste must run in the family.

Psychonauts is a 3D action-adventure platformer which, if you joined the console generation at the Xbox 360 or PS3, you probably don’t have a clue about. They seem to have become a forgotten relic as of late, scrapped in favour of games with less creative input and easier marketability. The story

centres around a young boy called Raz who, after fleeing from the circus, sneaks into a psychic summer camp, where he discovers he has an aptitude for cerebral sorcery. During his time there he uncovers a lobotomy conspiracy, and travels into the mind of his peers to crack the case. If that already isn’t making you frantically rush to the Steam store, I think you might have been a victim of the aforementioned plot.

“During his time there he uncovers a lobotomy conspiracy and travels into the minds of his peers to crack the case”

I think I must have beaten this game about 12 times now, and I never get sick of it, so playing through it over the weekend was like water off a duck’s back. The way Double Fine (or more importantly, Tim Schafer) have been able to capture my imagination with their madcap worlds is astonish-

ing, and I do sincerely believe this is his magnum opus. I think what makes Psychonauts so great, besides the fantastic writing and brilliant voice acting (Raz is voiced by Invader Zim!) is the fact that each level in the game could stand on its own as a finished product and still be a pure delight. Peter Chan’s art design is unrivalled, and whenever anyone asks me why I love it so much, I just list off the variation of realms that the game drops you into.

Besides the already bustling summer camp, the game lets you explore the mind of a giant fish named Linda, in which you are scaled up by a factor of 10 and have to fight your way through a bustling metropolis, the game recreating its own wacky version of Godzilla vs Ultraman. Another level lets you into the mind of an ancestor of the great Napoleon Bonaparte, where you must best the renowned general himself in a massive life-size game of Catan. In fear of spoiling the magic, I’ll stop there and let you find out the rest of yourself.

Just make sure you say hi to Mr Pokeylope for me.

3. Bully - UK, Brazil, USA Rockstar’s Bully was banned in Brazil, refused sale by retailers in the UK and was subject to many a lawsuit in the USA. Why? Because it allegedly promotes bullying. Well, although the title may suggest that, the game was more or less about fighting back against bullies. Yes, the protagonist pulled pranks on his fellow classmates and sometimes wasn’t the kindest of souls, but throughout the story you fight back against meaner bullies and the prefects that ultimately want to beat you up.

2. Left 4 Dead 2 - Australia Back to Australia, although there’s a long list of games that Australia decided to ban, including Manhunt, Postal 2, Saints Row IV, 50 Cent Bulletproof and many more. We decided that Valve’s Left 4 Dead 2 was far more important because it’s such a good game. When the zombie apocalypse comes around you’ll have to spare a thought to our friends down in Australia, because without practising their zombie killing moves on Left 4 Dead 2, they won’t stand a chance. In 2009, Australia banned the game for claims it was just too violent.

1. Mortal Kombat - Australia How could we not mention Mortal Kombat? In a list of controversial and brutal games, there just isn’t anything that compares. Not only has this video game series been the subject of many a lawsuit, but it actually prompted and encouraged the creation of the ESRB (Entertainment Software Rating Board). One fatality at a time, the series has beaten back its critics and protestors... apart from, of course, in Australia. That’s right, in 2011, the Australians refused to give the game classification as they believed that human dismemberment, decapitation and other such gory acts were too much for their people. I mean come on Australia, lighten up! Everyone knows there’s nothing more fun for the family than to witness one of Sub Zero’s spinesnapping finishers.

Take the red pill, Mr Anderson

Peter Austin jacks in and gets wired in this look at the current state of Virtual Reality

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t’s something gamers and non-gamers alike have dreamt of for decades. Virtual reality (VR) is a recurring staple of science fiction, as well as people’s predictions of the kind of technology we can expect within our lifetime. Star Trek, James Bond, The Matrix; the concept of VR pops up here, there and everywhere nowadays in various forms. But how far have we come since the days of red-green 3D glasses?

To those who are up to date on the subject, one of the first pieces of kit to come to mind when discussing VR is the Oculus Rift, which is now weirdly owned by Facebook. In essence, the Oculus and other such VR headsets take the theory behind the polarised 3D glasses you get at the cinema and go one step further. After donning one of these headsets, you would discover that a slightly different image is displayed to each eye in order to simulate real life binocular vision. Close each of your eyes right now and you will be aware of the two marginally different viewpoints that they see. Now stop.

People are staring.

“It must be pretty convincing because people sometimes feel motion sick when their brains can’t physically feel their bodies traversing the real world”

Image; Games Weasel on Flickr

So, you can stick a thing on your head and it makes things allegedly look 3D. How does it ac-

tually perform? Well, the technology is constantly improving but the consensus seems to be that the Oculus does sort of do the job. It must be pretty convincing because people sometimes feel motion sick when their brains can’t physically feel their bodies traversing the virtual world.

“But what about real life holodecks? Well, the short answer is that they’re coming” However, how can we be expected to feel immersed when we can still feel a controller in our hands? Never fear; “force feedback” technology is here. Numerous electronics companies are developing nifty gloves (such as the Dexmo) and other wearable tech that not only detect your muscle movements and allow you to physically interface with the VR but also imitate the sensation of touch.

Holding a virtual object while wearing the Dexmo results in what is known as force feedback, which prevents you from closing your grip further than the object would allow if it was really in your hand.

Coupled with an Oculus, it takes games such as Keep Talking And Nobody Explodes (a VR bombdefusal simulator) to a whole new nail-bitingly realistic level.

Throw in the likes of plug-in steering wheels, guns, joysticks and Wiimote-like devices, many of which have been around since the 20th century, and you’ve got all bases covered. There are even

some very sophisticated (and ludicrously expensive) 360-degree treadmill devices that allow you to walk on the spot in any direction.

But what about real life holodecks? Well, the short answer is that they’re coming and you may well see them in our lifetime. Microsoft are already playing around with smart projectors that alter walls and furniture, while a number of companies are grappling with actual 3D hologram technology.

However, while it’s certainly possible to use refraction and reflection to create distant holograms, walking up to them spoils the effect, so put the holo-

deck aside for the time being and mayb e just ask Santa Image; fanatictrx on Flickr

The Courier

gaming.37

Monday 7 December 2015

thecourieronline.co.uk @Courier_Gaming

trope-icana: Review: Bloodborne: The Old Hunters Club Quick Time Events Michael Hicks gets visceral in FromSoftware’s latest threat to controllers and TV screens everywhere

Tom Shrimplin frantically grabs his controller and jabs random buttons

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T

here are quite a few notable games releasing in the coming weeks but I am still confident that Bloodborne, released way back in March, is one of the year’s best games.

Bloodborne comes from the beautifully deranged minds of From Software; the developers of Dark Souls, with series head Hidetaka Miyazaki at the helm. Whilst it isn’t a sequel, nor a spin-off, it shares much of its structure, atmosphere, gameplay and infamous difficulty with the Souls series. The first (and sadly only) expansion to Bloodborne, The Old Hunters, serves to deepen the rabbit hole. So, once more do I venture into the world of Yharnam, to rejoin the hunt.

Access to the new expansion is, of course, typically cryptic - a hallmark of From’s design philosophy. The hunter finds himself in The Hunter’s Nightmare: a world infested with yet more ferocious beasts and even more ferocious hunters, driven to the brink of insanity by their lust for blood. Returning players may be slightly disappointed that their first sight is a redesign of an early game area. However, we find it ensnared in a tangle of tree roots, changing the area enough to keep it interesting whilst still retaining the interconnected feel. Many of the following areas follow this ap-

Image; Playstation.Blog, Flickr

proach, taking elements of areas found in the main game and adding to them just enough to make it all feel new, and yet familiar. The expansion also has a fair share of completely new terrifying locales to explore. My personal favourite is the Research Hall: a labyrinthine prison-like complex bathed in an eerie green light, complete with Hogwarts-style rotating stairways and a network of traps just waiting to catch out the unaware, very akin to Demon’s Souls.

“Many of the areas take elements found in the main game, but there’s enough to make it all feel new, and yet familiar”

The five new bosses are some of the best, and by far some of the hardest that the game has to offer.

Not to brag, but I have beaten every Souls game and Bloodborne, slaying every boss that these games threw at my way and even those I had to seek out myself. I don’t consider myself terrible at these games. Even so, the bosses in The Old Hunters gave me more than a little trouble, and what’ll likely be your third encounter is one of the best fights From has offered to date. If you get stuck,

Memory card: Donkey Kong Country Sam Blackburn expands upon what made this game a classic

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hen it comes to the Super Nintendo’s extensive library of classics like Super Mario World, A Link to the Past and Super Metroid, there is one true gem which stands out against the rest, Donkey Kong Country. Created by the cult classic developer Rare, Donkey Kong Country launched on the system back in 1994. We see the word revolutionary plastered on every game these days from Call of Duty to Guitar Hero, but back in 1994 Donkey Kong Country was the poster child for innovating in videogaming.

What makes this game so revolutionary though? Its immensely challenging platforming gameplay, its tight controls, the amazingly atmospheric musical score or its pseudo-realistic graphics? To you modern gamers Donkey Kong Country probably looks like a cheap attempt to render 3D graphics, but to us born and raised by the good old Super Nintendo, these graphics are beautiful. To simplify things here, Donkey Kong Country was the Crysis of 1994.

The fact that Donkey Kong Country’s visuals could be displayed on a Super Nintendo is a miracle when you keep in mind that this was a 16 bit system. The game was a pivotal moment during the infamous console war between Nintendo and Sega too. Sega was trying to pump life into the their rapidly failing Megadrive with the Sega CD and 32X add-ons, yet neither could come close to creating a masterpiece like this one.

“To you modern gamers Donkey Kong Country probably looks like a cheap attempt to render 3D graphics...”

The story may not have been anything for the box office, but King K. Rool’s heinous theft of Donkey Kong’s stash of bananas is what sent us on this amazing adventure. From swinging from vines, swimming in the deepest of oceans and riding a treacherous mine cart to the superb ending battle with K. Rool, there were no dull moments in this painfully hard quest. We were also joined by the latest member of the Kong family, Diddy Kong, Donkey’s son and trusted sidekick. I must warn anyone who fancies playing this game that it’s pretty challenging. It’s got that very trial and error type of gameplay, which entices the player to keep on trying

due to the believability that no obstacle is too hard to cross.

It would be a crime to discuss this game without mentioning its absolutely fantastic soundtrack. Composed by industry legend, David Wise, this most blissful of soundtracks is what creates such a fantastically wonderful atmosphere in the game. From the opening levels groovy and funky Jungle Hijinx, to the beautifully inspiring Aquatic Ambiance leading up to the final battles music against King K. Rool. A song which starts like an upbeat sea shanty suddenly turning dark and unsettling really highlights the intensity of the boss battle. Every track adds to the ambience of each level and is perfectly arranged for the mood at hand.

Donkey Kong Country is most definitely in my top 5 favourite games list and I couldn’t recommend it enough for anyone who is a fan of platformers or retro games in general. It’s downloadable on the Wii U pretty cheaply nowadays, so go ahead and please do yourself a favour by picking this one up. It re- mains as relevant as ever even today and t h e r e’s never been a bett e r time to head back to Donkey Kong Country!

Image; i_38769 on Flickr

you can join The League; a new multiplayer covenant designed around jolly cooperation with other players to overcome the hardest challenges the game has to offer. People are more than willing to lend a helping hand; after all, we’re all suffering together.

The last thing that The Old Hunters offers are new weapons, and it more than delivers on this front. A common criticism was that users who preferred Strength-based builds had very little options, as did those who like to keep their opponents at range. From were definitely taking notes, and the new weapons bring the diversity that felt sorely lacking at times. From brutal circular saws, a selection of scythes, a bowblade, a sword made of moonlight and even the odd minigun or two, there’s now something for everyone.

From’s expansions have always been superb, and this one is no exception. The decision to combine the two planned into just one was a great one, as the depth on display here is what every expansion should aim for. The Old Hunters is absolutely essential; it maintains the game’s already high standards and gives us more insight into From’s broken world. Bloodborne may have come to an end, but what a way to go.

Full Steam ahead?

Hemmy Ogilvie tests the

s I recall back to the halcyon days of 2009 when Call of Duty wasn’t just the same copyand-paste first person shooter every year, we all remember the ending of Modern Warfare 2, where Soap pulled a knife of his own chest piercing the evil General Shepard’s left eye and killing him.

At the time it was awesome, as the scene was ramped full of tension as the game reached its conclusion.

But if you take a look at mechanically it was flawed.

After playing it a while later, I tried missing his eye on purpose to see what would happen. Instead, the knife defied physics to insert itself in his left eye. I was left disappointed, as it shows how ridiculously contrived the scene was.

Nevertheless Call of Duty has continued to overuse Quick Time Events in the games, remember the absurd “press F to pay respects” in Advanced Warfare? But surely it gets to the point where it becomes more like an interactive action movie, rather than an actual game in which you can shoot things and blow stuff up any which way you want.

I’m not just vilifying Call of Duty, as this similar theme is becoming dominant in a number of action games, actually scratch that, movies too.

QTEs should be used sparingly and effectively, not just used to hold your hand throughout. Neither should they be shoved into cutscenes to make you think you’re in control. If you want to keep us interested in cutscenes, perhaps write better scripts?!

QTEs are also the bread and butter of many graphic adventure games, such as that of Telltale’s The Walking Dead series to Tales from the Borderlands. QTEs are a key component of this genre and actually serve a purpose. For example, when speaking to characters, if you don’t choose one of the options in conversation trees, then nothing is said to another character. This can have further consequences in the game. Moreover QTEs are used to create tension in more action-type sequences as a break to the point-and-click portions of the game.

This can lead to deaths of other characters too. For example, Season 2 of The Walking Dead; wouldn’t it be fantastic for you to survive while other characters die as a result of you failing a QTE?

“If you want to keep us interested in cutscenes, pressure gauge on Valve’s attack on the console market perhaps write better scripts?!”

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he Steam Machine: the love child of PCs and consoles. Will this finally bring an end to the online war that has raged on for decades?

The Steam Machine (AKA Steam box) is Valve’s attempt to create a console like PC that is able to utilize high end PC hardware, to provide a small form factor machine that delivers a console-like experience. The release of the Steam Machine has been a little rough to say the least. Purchasing one is quite difficult with all the options that are available and comparing specs isn’t exactly easy when some sellers don’t show the exact components of their machine (I’m looking at you Alienware). With that said, there are some good value machines out there like the Steam Machine P by Syber.

Alongside all Steam Machines comes Steam OS, the Linux-based operating system that allows the user to access their games. Though very functional and polished, it does not allow installation of addition programs like a normal PC. It is possible to install Windows, but doing so kind of defeats the whole idea of the product. So what about the games? Well since it’s based on PC hardware and software, there are no console exclusives that would normally come with a new console.

However, there are myriad of games available on Steam. Although not all games are compatible with Linux (Fallout 4 for example), there are certainly enough to keep any gamer busy.

So has Valve finally created the perfect inbetween for consoles and PCs? I don’t think so. The Steam Machine still needs a lot of work, the hardware is still quite expensive and the support for Linux, while good, is not amazing. Maybe Valve or some other company will try again with a different approach in the future, but for now I believe it’s best to just to stick to your PC or console.

In conclusion, QTEs can be effective tools in adding a bit of variation in games. However for FPSs and other action games, they should be used thoughtfully. The perfect example of this is in Bioshock: Infinite, as Booker and Elizabeth escape from the tower and are chased by Songbird, the chaos and destruction keeps you on the edge of your seat. However QTEs are better integrated into more interactive genres. On the other hand, I feel that most QTEs should matter more congruent with the plot in that failing them can have serious consequences that could ultimately determine the ending.

38.science&technology

Monday 7 December 2015

The Courier

Science Editors: Louise Bingham, Iqra Choudhry & Anna Jastrzembska

Breaching the blood-brain barrier

Sharina Navani discovers the momentous story behind the ground-breaking non-invasive treatment for brain tumours

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fter managing her brain tumour with medication for the past eight years, “It’s starting to grow, you need to see somebody” are not the words Bonny Hall wanted to hear.

Dr. Todd Mainprize, the leading investigator in a ground-breaking clinical trial identified that the medication was no longer able to reach the tumour cells in her brain because of the blood-brain barrier. Scientifically speaking it is a semi-permeable membrane separating the blood from the cerebrospinal fluid, a colourless liquid that protects our body’s central nervous system. Think of it as extremely overprotective parents, parents who never allow their children to go out and explore freely thus making sure they never get hurt but at the same time discouraging them from encountering things that may be beneficial. The barrier does an exceptional job but is so effective at keeping out foreign substances that it often prevents life-saving drugs from being able to heal the injured brain.

“To help guide ultrasound waves or sonication to precise areas in her brain, Bonnie was fitted with a helmet-like device and placed inside an MRI”

There have been many experimental attempts in the past to penetrate this barrier but for the first time in history, doctors and scientists at Toronto’s Sunnybrook Hospital successfully attempted to open this blood-brain barrier in a human without the use of a scalpel. This innovative

and non-invasive technique was to essentially create holes in the blood-brain barrier so that various selected chemicals can get through.

The process began when Bonnie was treated with chemotherapy, followed by an injection of microscopic bubbles or little bits of air that would circulate in her bloodstream.

To help guide ultrasound waves or sonication to precise areas in her brain, Bonnie was fitted with a helmet-like device and placed inside an MRI. The aim was that this would cause the microscopic bubbles to shake and create small temporary holes in the barrier.

A few hours later, the doctors have finished the sonication for two spots and they have opened up the barrier in both spots. The next step was to verify an array of nine dots on an MRI scan in each of the places the barrier was opened.

After examining the scan Dr. Mainprize says, “This had gone exactly the way we hoped”— the eight most reassuring words for

Bonny and her family to hear. The identification of those nine dots indicated an effective opening of the blood-brain barrier and hence marked this procedure to be a huge success. Finally, the rest of the tumour was removed during surgery and then examined to see exactly how much medication got through.

“Some of the most exciting and novel therapeutics for the treatment of malignant brain tumours are not able to reach the tumour cells because of the blood brain barrier,” said Dr. Mainprize.

This new treatment will not only help people suffering from illnesses like Bonnie’s but also a vast number of other patients with brain cancer, Parkinson’s, Alzheimer’s, and so on.

An estimated 98% of potential drug treatments for brain disorders are unable to penetrate the blood-brain barrier. Consequently, there are limited options for patients with

brain tumours and other neurological diseases. The barrier has posed as a constant obstacle to treating countless types of brain disorders, therefore, “breaching this barrier opens up a new frontier in treating brain disorders,” says Dr. Neal Kassell, chairman of the Focused Ultrasound Foundation.

“An estimated 98% of potential drug treatments for brain disorders are unable to penetrate the blood-brain barrier”

Bonnie’s bravery, along with that of the team of skilled professionals at Sunnybrook hospital has set a significant milestone in medical history. This trial will include 6-10 more patients over the course of the next few months in Canada to make absolutely sure that the blood-brain barrier is safe to penetrate in humans. Given that the procedure is effectively a highly focused ultrasound and only acts to temporarily open up the blood-brain barrier, scientists are confident that this treatment is safe and will open up a whole host of new doors for effective and targeted therapies for a large range of brain disorders.

Bringing it back to the analogy of overprotective parents, it seems as though we have been able to find a way to convince them. This was an exciting procedure that resulted in a positive outcome. Allowing medication to seep directly into parts of the brain will be invaluable to the advancement of treatments for other brain-related diseases. Yesterday, the blood-brain barrier seemed impossible to tackle; today, it might not be beyond the bounds of human ability after all.

Born to be a butterfingers Two left feet, all fingers and thumbs, cack-handed. These are just a handful of the metaphors used to describe the more uncoordinated klutzes amoung us, but scientists say we can blame it on our brains, as Amanda Jane Yap investigates

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ou could be wearing the comfiest Converse or sensible flats but still manage to stumble and fall or, scratch that, walking around barefoot on a non-slip surface and still get battered and bruised as you go sailing A over T while simply strolling along. It seems your name is synonymous with the phrase ‘bull in a china shop’. However, it has been proven that there are people who are clumsier than others; some extreme cases of clumsiness have been associated with underlying health reasons such as the onset of Parkinson’s disease or a stroke (or, most likely, a hangover).

Scientific research on an array of athletes has shed some light on why some people tend to be clumsier than others, and the findings were quite astonishing. The athletes with clumsiness-related injuries were discovered to have bad performance on both visual and verbal memory tests, poor equilibrium, slow reaction time and slow ‘process-

ing speed’ (how quickly the brain absorbs and responds to information). To react slowly, it means that the brain has a delayed ability to take in information and act on it. However, the combination of poor processing speed and clumsiness is related to distraction: how well can the person block out distracting surroundings and how well the person is able to process several things at once. Having so many preoccupations, can cause the person to momentarily forget their surroundings and unknowingly walk into an accident zone, before realising it’s too late.

“There are two stages in life where clumsiness will rear its ugly head more prominently: during the pimply adolescent years and when approaching middle age” It has also been discovered that there are two stages in life where clumsiness will rear its ugly head more prominently: during the pimply adolescent years and when approaching middle age. Basically during your teenage years, your body is not accustomed to the sudden growth spurt yet. With that sudden extra space to work with, the mind has not gotten used to the new improvements and will take more time to react appropriately. Hence, bumping into things is quite normal at that stage.

A 2013 study from Washington University discovered that clumsiness peaks again when approaching middle age due to the differing ways young and old adults’ brains assess things when carrying out

skipping. Obvious exercises like Yoga and Pilates enhance flexibility and reduce the recurrence of injuries.

Its not all doom and gloom for you uncoordinated creatures.

“The athletes with clumsiness-related injuries were discovered to have bad performance on both visual and verbal memory tests, poor equilibrium, slow reaction time and slow ‘processing speed’”

activities. For example, young adults focus on what is doing the action, while old adults tend to pay more attention to their body and the targeted object. Increased clumsiness can occur during this transitional phase in the way the brain processes and prioritises things.

There is good news for you clumsy clots out there as there are ways to reduce and even cure clumsiness: 1. Be mindful of your actions, complete one task at a time so that your flow of thought will not be disrupted.

2. Complete deep breathing exercises to lessen your anxiety. With sweaty and shaky hands, your grip will lessen slightly and it becomes more difficult to hold onto things or perform tasks more efficiently and confidently.

3. Engage in exercises that teach your brain to remain focused and allows you to practise your coordination and develops your flexibility and agility, like jogging or

The Courier

Monday 7 December 2015

technology&science.39 thecourieronline.co.uk/science c2.science@ncl.ac.uk | @courier_science

Just what I’ve always wanted Science of happiness

Advertisers have been trying to get inside our heads for years, literally if marketers have their way. Ollie Burton investigates the effectiveness and future potential of neuromarketing

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ou think, and therefore you are. You think about fast-food, and therefore you shamelessly gorge until your arteries beg you to stop. And if a large retailer could scan your brain at will, they’d capitalise on this fact with ruthless abandon. What’s more, soon they will be.

Neuromarketing is a very real thing. It’s been around since the early 1990s, pioneered at Harvard of all places, and the key point is simple: over 90% of human thinking and emotional response occurs in the subconscious, that nebulous area of our being that we have no direct control over. Therefore, it would reasonably be beneficial for any company to try and manipulate these thought patterns in such a way that you become more inclined to buy a bottle of Coke or fancy yacht, for example.

“Over 90% of human thinking and emotional response occurs in the subconscious, that nebulous area of our being that we have no direct control over”

This all sounds very nefarious and space-age, but it’s a very real thing being used all the time.

Advertising agencies will regularly combine sets of images and sounds to better invoke triggering responses in plebs like myself, ideally without me catching on. Anything that will extract a positive emotional response in a consumer increases the likelihood of them choosing your product over others, and companies are well aware of this. It’s like having the greatest focus group in the world.

Rather than asking you what you associate with the word ‘perfume’, for example, I could simply scan your brain and determine every single factor you

thought of, then subtly bombard you with them and watch as you purchase my entire stock.

A well-known study into this effect was published in 2004 with quite the interesting result.

67 participants were fitted with brain scanners and given both Coke and Pepsi to drink in a blind test, and asked to choose which tasted nicer, with half the subjects choosing Pepsi. However, when they were all told that they were drinking Coke, three-quarters said the Coke was nicer. This would indicate that although Pepsi should theoretically have an equal market share to CocaCola based on taste merit alone, there must be other reasons for more people drinking Coke that are unrelated to taste factor.

And of course today this is a very r api d ly evolving techn o l ogy. The sciencebased consumer research company NeuroFo c u s recently showed off their new Mynd product, consisting of a portable wireless electroencephalogram (EEG) scanner that fits on the head like a skullcap. This allows the wearer to capture their brain’s synaptic activity and transmit that data stream to another device such as a phone or tablet via Bluetooth. NeuroFocus plans to gift Mynd devices to consumers around the United States and pay them to wear them whilst watching TV or go shopping – the potential use for that data is almost limitless. They could analyse

you and work out which celebrities invoke the best response when endorsing a product, for example, or find the exact length of time into an advert that you flick to another channel in the vain hope of finding something entertaining on daytime television.

This could of course be scaled up into huge operations in order to determine these factors for the average human being with a large enough s a m p l e size, and where do we go from there? I suppose any concept of individuality would gradually be eroded and we’d all become part of some faceless hive mind, a series of remarkably o r g a n i c looking puppets being casually manipulated by our corporate overlords.

I imagine most people will find this idea rather u n ne r v i ng .

The notion that a third-party conglomerate operating out of some obscure European taxh a v e n knows your own mind better than you do could potentially be unsettling if you weren’t as cynical as I am. Yet as we’ve become further and further integrated with our various smartphones and watches and toasters, this kind of data mining has already been going on for years.

It’s merely the accuracy that improves. One has to hope that the utilisation remains somewhat benign, as far as relentless capitalism goes.

Weird, wacky and wonderful

Misery loves company especially in the case of Mass Psychogenic Illness as Jordan Oloman explains

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ou know that feeling when you’re in a club, you’re about 8 drinks deep, and your song comes on? And you lock dreary eyes with all your mates and you start suddenly convulsing together, in a most untidy fashion? Or perhaps, the night before a proposed spot test, your friend drops you a message saying he’s feeling a ‘monster migraine’ coming on, and as if like magic, you wake up and you swear you’re feeling his phantom pain? Welcome to the world of Mass Psychogenic Illness, my friends.

In medical terms, it’s defined as “the rapid spread of symptoms affecting members of a cohesive group, originating from a nervous system disturbance”. Sounds cool, but you’re probably sat there like “Jordan, there is no way people are that stupid to all feel the same delusion at the same time”. So let me take you back to the middle ages to explain that one. Now, back in the day when you couldn’t get 3 trebles for a fiver, people had to find other ways to turn up,

like maybe, getting possessed by the spirit of the Holy Ghost. The earliest cases of MPI report large groups of people who would just dance for weeks at a time. They would strip off, howl and make obscene gestures, and some laughed and cried their way to an early grave. Now, if you’ve ever been to a sports social at Tiger Wednesdays you should all have the knowledge you need to write an honest essay about how history repeats itself.

If you aren’t convinced yet, let me hit a little closer to home, with something from our precious childhood. Back in 1997, there was an episode of Pokémon that aired in Japan called Electric Soldier Porygon, where Pikachu used thunderbolt and the screen went nuts with flashing colours. Harmless right? Pikachu always does that. No, actually because 12,000 kids reported nausea and seizures.

Yet only a fraction of them actually needed medical help, and the rest was mass hysteria. So next time, think of Pikachu when you fill in that absence form.

Word of the Week: PANDICULATION It’s four in the morning and you’re 6 cups of coffee down. This assignment is really getting to you and the deadlines tomorrow! Tired from sitting for so long only exercising your digits you decide to stretch. Sweet relief. Arms up, back arched. But what’s this? A yawn, AHHHH! Now it all doesn’t seem so bad.

You’ve just pandiculated. Pandiculation is the act of stretching and yawning at the same time.

It was dreamt up in the 1600s from the latin “pandere”: to stretch oneself.

But why does it occur? Stretching has been shown to wake us up and yawning is a reflex that opens our airways in response to altered chemicals in our brains. It’s not surprising that it happens in the middle of an all-nighter!

Matthew Byrne

Anna Jastrzembska discusses how a brew brightens up your day

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efore you read on, put on a kettle and prepare your favourite mug. Chances are that your house is as freezing as mine and getting colder every day. There is little I can do about it, apart from cuddling up in a nest of blankets with a mug of hot tea. Unfortunately, scientifically speaking, that hot tea doesn’t do much to warm you up. It’s perfect to fight off the winter blues, though.

Scientists believe there is a link between temperature and emotions. The most interesting proof is that people who describe themselves as lonely, also report feeling colder. However, there have been more interesting experiments in the area. My favourite is when the researched were asked to hold a cup of drink (warm or hold), read about a fictional character (written in a neutral way), and then tell about their feelings about the character. If the drink was hot, they were more likely to describe the person as “warm.” In another experiment, participants were tricked into believing they were taking part into research of therapeutic pads, were asked to fill in the survey and then asked about their feelings about the research. As you probably can imagine, if they were holding a heating pad, their feelings were more positive than those who had a frozen pad.

“Doesn’t it make sense that the list of happiest countries strongly corresponds with the list of the biggest coffee consumers in the world? ” What can we take out of these experiments?

Well, most importantly, that the famous, immortal question of “do you want a cuppa?”(or, if you’re me, “do you want tea or coffee?”) when someone comes over, is one of the best ice-breakers ever.

People tend to feel “warmer” towards you if you offer them a hot drink. It’s a good thing to remember if you’re planning to work with other people. Research proves that it’s especially good in business relations- being offered a cup of coffee instead of a cold glass of water makes an immense difference.

If you are a coffee addict like me, you need to know that it’s proven that coffee makes you happier. Drinking coffee regularly has been found to work as a mild anti-depressant and decreases risk committing suicide by fifty percent. Doesn’t it make sense then, that the list of happiest countries strongly corresponds with the list of the biggest coffee consumers in the world? It also works if you choose tea or chocolate with the same amount of caffeine as two cups of coffee. The secret is what I mentioned when talking about chocolate- caffeine releases the happy hormone dopamine. It does more than just that. Caffeine activates every reward system known in brain, making it work similar to drugs like marijuana. For all the tea-lovers out there, black and green teas (especially matcha, gyokuro and anji bai cha) contain the amino acid theanine, which increases the number of inhibitory neurotransmitters and balance moods (calming us down and reducing anxiety), as well as releasing the happy hormones serotonin and dopamine.

It might be worth it, to leave tea and coffee for later in the day. The all-time king of warm firstthing-in-the-morning drinks is indisputably hot water with lemon and honey, especially on empty stomach after waking up. Name a positive health effect, and it has it. Apart from boosting your moods, it’s amazing for your liver (it stimulates release of enzymes to get rid of toxins), cleanses your blood vessels and arteries, relieves muscle and joint problems, strengthens immune system, regulates digestion and metabolism, helps weight loss, hydrates your organism, lowers blood pressure, improves skin condition, is good for your nervous system and fights respiratory infections. If you are still not convinced, it has been found to reduce the risk of cancer and dementia. So, if you still haven’t done it, do your body a favour and drink that coffee now.

The Courier

sciencefeature.41

Monday 7 December 2015

thecourieronline.co.uk/science c2.science@ncl.ac.uk | @courier_science

Track that turtle!

Newcastle Alumni Nick Goldsmith talks tagging and tracking loggerhead turtles along the Australian coast

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ne of our recent alumni, Nick Goldsmith (Marine Zoology – BSc (Hons) 2015), is currently one of four Scientific Interns working on a sea turtle conservation program in remote Western Australia. This year, the program will be using satellite technology to track the long-term movements of these mysterious creatures and you can follow along with the free “Turtle Tracker” App! Sea turtles are amazing creatures that have been around for millions of years, yet there are still plenty of things we don’t know about their biology. The South-East Indian Ocean population of loggerhead sea turtles (Caretta caretta) is the least well studied of the seven populations around the world.

With information on the status of this population still limited, it is critical that scientists get their feet on the ground to answer basic questions such as: How many females in this population nest in a given year? How many clutches do females lay per year? Where do turtles go in between nesting attempts? How often do females migrate to their breeding grounds to nest? How old are turtles when they mature?

vulnerability of these rookeries to climate change.

Beginning in the first week of December, ten loggerhead sea turtles will be fitted with satellite tags at Gnaraloo Bay. These devices will regularly fix and transmit a GPS location when the turtle comes to the surface to breathe, allowing us to see where they have traveled. What is so exciting about this opportunity is the fact that a FREE App has been created to allow anyone, anywhere in the world, to follow these females on their journey. The App will be up and running a few days after release of the first turtles, so you can follow them throughout the nesting season and beyond. We are hoping to discover how these turtles move while on the breeding ground near Gnaraloo and identify where they go to feed once they are done nesting!

Feeding grounds are

“In addition to conducting

“The temperature of incubation determines the sex ratio of the offspring, with more males being produced at lower temperatures”

annual monitoring of turtle nesting activities, this year the GTCP will also be satellite tracking nesting female loggerhead turtles” This is where the Gnaraloo Turtle Conservation Program (GTCP) comes in. The GTCP is a research, monitoring and community engagement program located on a remote part of the WA coast approximately 1,100 km north of the city of Perth. Each year, the GTCP patrols the coast for 120 consecutive days (1 November – 28 February, including Christmas Day!). The GTCP monitors two rookeries, the Gnaraloo Bay Rookery (GBR) and Gnaraloo Cape Farquhar Rookery (GCFR), both of which are roughly 7 km long. To qualify as a significant loggerhead turtle rookery, there needs to be at least 300 nests laid annually; with an average of 417 in the GBR each year since the program was initiated, this is a significant rookery and is the largest confirmed mainland loggerhead turtle rookery in Western Australia.

Alongside the plentiful loggerheads, green turtles (Chelonia Mydas)) and hawksbill turtles (Eretmochelys imbricata)) are also present but in much smaller numbers. While surveys of the GCFR were initiated in 2011/12, they only cover part of the nesting season so it is still too early to determine the number of nests laid in this rookery each year.

In addition to conducting annual monitoring of turtle nesting activities, this year the GTCP will also be satellite tracking nesting female loggerhead turtles to reveal their long-term movements, and conducting sand temperature analysis to assess the

that turtles leave on the beach (they typically emerge to nest at night), researchers can estimate the number of nests laid and evaluate when and where turtles choose to nest.

A turtle can achieve three different activities when she emerges from the sea. First, and what we like to see for this endangered species, is a Nest. This is when a female successfully deposits her eggs into a pit dug in the sand. Second, she could achieve an Unsuccessful Nesting Attempt, where an attempt was made to dig but no eggs were deposited. Finally, a U-track is one where no digging activity occurred and the turtle simply returned to the sea after emerging. These data are analyzed to determine the nest success rate overall, among species and between different sections of the beach, which can lead to adaptive management being implemented.

where turtles spend 75% of their time as adults, so it is critical to know where the females that nest at Gnaraloo go when they aren’t nesting. The free App is called “Turtle Tracker” and can be downloaded for Apple, Google and Windows phones now. So, when you are tucking into your festive meals, open up the App and

In addition to early morning surveys, the GTCP uses night surveys (direct observation of nesting turtles) during a subset of the nesting season to assess how successful we are at accurately interpreting turtle tracks.

Track interpretation is challenging and even for the most experience turtle biologist, error in track assessment will Photo Credit: Nick Goldsmith occur. We therefore run night surveys, which are more time-intensive and logistically challenging that day surveys, for roughly six weeks see where the to determine what our error rates are and improve turtles have got to! our accuracy. We conduct night surveys until a staEarly-morning beach surveys tistically significant number of activities have been are the primary method the GTCP verified (i.e., directly observed) on night surveys. uses to monitor sea turtle nesting.

The final part of the GTCP 15/16 research proBy counting and interpreting tracks gram looks at beach sand temperatures at differing

Photo Credit: Nick Goldsmith

Celebrating Student Science

depths. Sea turtles are like other reptiles and the temperature of incubation determines the sex ratio of the offspring, with more males being produced at lower temperatures and more females at higher temperatures. This is a very important, and potentially challenging, characteristic in the context of climate change (i.e., likely increasing sand temperatures over time). This year, led by a researcher from Deakin University, we are using sand temperature loggers to determine the temperature profile of the beach and compare these data with air temperatures from our weather station to determine how closely associated these temperatures are. Once we know this relationship, we can use historical atmospheric data to reconstruct nesting beach sand temperatures back in time and look for any potential trends. This way, we will be able to assess the vulnerability of Gnaraloo rookeries to climate change and gain additional insight factors influencing hatching success in this region.

To keep up to date with all the exciting activities that Gnaraloo Turtle Conservation Program are up to, give them a ‘Like’ on Facebook and see if they can break the 2009/10 nesting season record of 522 nests! www.facebook.com/gnaralooturtleconservatio nprogram/?fref=ts

Or visit the website: www.gnaraloo.com/conservation/gnaralooturtle-conservation-program

The Courier

puzzles.43

Monday 7 December 2015

Puzzles ?? ?

Puzzles Editor: Jack Parker Deputy Puzzles Editor: Mark Sleightholm

Can you guess where the hell we’ve taken this photo, and why?

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“I’m Roy Walker and I heartily endorse this event and/or product”

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1 Metal basket on wheels (7) 6 Early twentieth century poet, wrote “September 1, 1939” (5) 7 South Asian country, sub-continent (5) 8 Anglo-Australian cricket competition (5) 9 NUSU President (6) 12 Not far (4) 13 Tart-like cake or pastry (4) 15 ____ Blyton, politically incorrect children’s author (4) 16 Pleasure from another’s misfortune (13) 19 Moral code (6) 20 German sportswear company, big cat (4) 21 He had the last waltz with you but wants you to release him (11)

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1 Ageing nuclear deterrent (7) 2 Someone from Leeds (6) 3 80s electronic duo featuring Alison Moyet and Vince Clarke (5) 4 Christmas Day 1914 (9) 5 Harold _____, former Prime Minister, probably not a KGB spy (6) 9 Belief (5) 10 The Courier at the Student Media Awards (7, 2) 11 Scottish chav (3) 14 Someone who studies for a living (8) 16 Expression of scorn (5) 17 French farewell (5) 18 White substance used for baking (5) 20 Commonly mis-sold, apparently (3)

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Wise

Find the word that connects these three words.

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Completing the entirety of this puzzles page will entitle you to the respect of (some of) your peers.

Feel free to bring the proof of your achievement into The Courier office, where you will be congratulated with a firm handshake

44.sportfeatures

Monday 7 December 2015

The Courier

Brothers in arms: a selection of sibling successes The Murrays With the Murray’s taking the Davis Cup, we thought it apt to look at some more brotherly love.

The Laudrups Michael and Brian Laudrup stand above all else in the ranks of Danish footballers when it comes to outfield footballers. Only Peter Schmeichel can assault their status as the best player Denmark has ever seen.

Yet if we lay aside the arbitrary title of “best ever” player and focus on the individual brilliance of the siblings, we can truly begin to appreciate the technical ability of these two fine players.

Brian’s attacking prowess and clinical finishing made him a devastating striker, representing well-known teams such as Fiorentina, AC Milan and Glasgow Rangers. In 1998 he played for the London club Chelsea before returning to Denmark. His eye for goal contributed to Denmark’s surprise win at the 1992 European Championship, a side Mi-

chael only failed to enter due to injury.

Similarly, Michael was more than adept at his position, playing just off the striker and acting as the creative hub of a team. His control, distribution, and precision made him world famous, earning the right to play for the likes of Ajax, Barcelona and Real Madrid. Great competitors on the field, these sporting sibling greats continue to contribute to the game.

Michael has stepped into management, taking the reins of Swansea, Getafe and Spartak Moscow, while Brian has moved more towards commentating and punditry, as well as opening a football academy for underprivileged, marginalised children.

Stuart Ward

For decades British Tennis has been in dire need of a player who can match the talents of the best on the planet.

In Andy Murray, we have exactly that.

While he struggled in the early stages of his career to meet the alwayslofty expectations of the public, on numerous occasions the Scotsman has managed t o overcome the seemingly insurmountable challenges posed by Roger Federer and Novak Djokovic.

As a 2-time major champ, an Olympic gold medallist and now Davis Cup winner, Andy Murray is the sole superstar and poster-boy of the sport in the UK. Oh, and there’s his older brother, Jamie.

We probably shouldn’t forget about him.

But this isn’t a Venus/Serena-type

The Murray’s just recently took the Davis Cup. Image: fLickr, Carine06

duo. There’s no true competition between the pair. Yes, Jamie has had success on the doubles tour, and yes, you probably will recognise his name, and you might just recognise his face.

But let’s be clear, he’s no star attraction. Andy Murray is an outlier in British tennis. He’s a supreme talent, and all others play in his shadow.

Even his brother isn’t able to break into the spotlight. But after the British Number 1’s scathing remarks aimed at the Lawn Tennis Association last week, the sport in this country must strive to foster more talent.

If not, it risks another era of failure from its athletes.

Gabe Pennington

The Burgess Brothers I challenge you to find a band of four brothers that has the physical prowess and ferocity as that which belongs to the Burgess clan. You can’t - it’s impossible.

There has never been one generation in a single family able to achieve such dominance across a number of sports, never mind taking over a single game.

Today, it’s rare to see an individual British sportsperson play a superstar role in a foreign league. Gareth Bale is one the few footballers who comes to mind having managed to break the mould in modern times, which only makes the

achievement of the four Burgess brothers in rugby league more impressive.

In 2014, the season in which the South Sydney Rabbitohs won their first premiership since 1971, the four siblings – Sam, Luke, George and Tom – played a pivotal role in the NRL club’s title challenge.

In their match against the West Tigers, they became the set of 4 brothers to play together in single NRL game for well over a century. However, after Luke’s departure from the Rabbitohs this year, along with Sam’s attempt to

show the England Union team how it’s done for a brief stint, the family has been separated for season.

Rugby league has suffered because of it, but with Sam Burgess’ return down-under next year, the sport once against preps itself for the inevitable havoc to be inflicted by the reunited Burgess trio.

Bunny brothers: The four Burgess famously played for the Rabbidohs Image: YouTube

Gabe Pennington

The Klitschkos Everyone’s favourite Ukrainians are two of the biggest names in boxing history.

They were so dominant that for two years, five months and 13 days, all six major boxing belts were held by the brothers. Unfortunately the Klitschko brothers have said that they would never consider fighting each other because of a promise to their mam.

But she’s apparently more than happy for their faces to be mushed by other giants wearing cushioned gloves.

These days, when he’s not having nightmares about Lennox Lewis, Vitali is a relatively successful poli-

The Klitschko’s quite literally holding all five major belts.

Image: YouTube

tician and a big foot enthusiast. His record of 45-2 is impressive, especially considering his forced four year absence from the sport because of injury. His pummelling of Dereck Chisora was one of the most memorable moments of his glittering career, and especially deserved after ‘Del Boy’ had slapped him in the weigh-in.

On the other hand, Wladimir is still fighting, and has been recently been in the news for losing to the vigilante Tyson Fury. With 64 wins, 53 by knockout, Wladimir is widely believed to be one of the greatest boxers of all time. His win, and subsequent rematch

victory, over Chris Byrd spring to mind as his finest moments, but watching David Haye being put in his place is always entertaining.

Undoubtedly, the Klitschko brothers are the greatest boxing brothers o f all time. Micky Ward and Dicky Eklund may have a film about them, but the Ukrainian h e av y w e i g ht s are two of the biggest stars in boxing history.

James Sproston

The Brownlees Triathletes Alistair and Jonny Brownlee are somewhat remarkable. Since 2008, the world has had the pleasure to experience two of the most talented athletes in the sport’s history. In the 40 World Championship races that at least one of the brothers has started, 29 of them have ended in a Brownlee victory. Perhaps even more impressively, in 2012 they were the first brothers to share a podium in an individual sport at the Olympic Games since 1908.

Alistair is regarded as the more experienced and talented of the two. He’s won Commonwealth and Olympic Gold ahead of his brother, secured two World

Championships and topped three European Championships. His decision to drop out of Medicine at Cambridge to focus on his triathlon career has evidently paid off, winning 13 major titles throughout his career so far.

Likewise, Jonny has been very successful. Although he’s also a World Champion, he was runner-up to Alistair in both the Olympic and Commonwealth Games, whilst he falls short of the number of titles his brother has gained as well. What Jonny can boast however, is that he finished all 42 races from July 2010 to May 2014 on the podium, something that his brother is unlikely to

ever match.

The lads from Dewsbury are local treasures, and often cite their success on their upbringing and the Yorkshire terrain. Even though they both endured a disappointing 2015 season, they’ll both be looking to find their form come the 2016 Olympics in Rio, where Jonny will be looking to take his brother’s title.

James Sproston

The Brownlee brothers: old chip off the block.

Image: Flickr, Yiannis Theologos Michellis

The Courier

sportfeatures.45

Monday 7 December 2015

It’s a knockout: ringside ruckus rocks Fight Night Fight Night is one of the most eagerly anticipated events in the University calendar.

Students packed into the Union’s Venue last Thursday to watch 16 of the city’s hardiest souls go toe to toe. Sports editor Calum Wilson breaks the first rule of fight club, by talking about fight club.

The ambiance, if you can call it that, of the Union leading up to the start of Fight Night was one of tension, anticipation and a disturbing calm before the

Pow, right in the kisser: sixteen contestants fight it out.

Image: Calum Wilson.

Collage: Lewis Bedford

inevitable storm. The crowd streamed in dressed to the nines, looking more like they were about to sit down at a dodgy Italian restaurant than witness the ensuing chaos. The ice buckets on the ‘vip’ tables surrounding the ring, full of three litres of vodka should’ve been a clue.

The order of play for the evening would see 8 fights, decided over 3 a best of rounds, with a fourth round in the event of a tie. The h o n our of

warming up the crowd fell to Dan “The Dad Bod” Dickens in the red corner and Chris “The Molaman” Short, in the blue.

The Molaman flew out of the traps and looked tidy and in control from the start, with Dickens struggling to land any significant blows in the first round.

In the third, Short finally made his move, knocking Dickens onto his arse and leaving The Dad Bod starring up in desperation.

Fight two saw Johnny “Fucking” Bullman take on Callum “the canister” Kossler. Kossler looked in trouble from the off, shout of “hands up” from his trainers went unheard. The Bullman made light work of the canister, knocking him out at the end of the first round.

Next up into the ring, Muzi “The Monster” Mble faced up against Sam “The Guv’nor” Sims. Mble danced his opponent around the ring, landing hit after hit on the battered Guv’nor. In the end, Sims’ corner threw in the towel mid way through the 2nd round.

After a brief break, NUAFC’s Allan Owen and Andy “Chopper” Chang produced the fight of the night. Owen, “The Black Mamba”, looked full of energy and dodged a few well-placed right hooks from Chang, to take the first round, briefly

knocking his rival to the deck in reply.

The crowd, finally witnessing an even bout, reached a new volume and the atmosphere was tense as the judges conferred. Owen was awarded the win to the delight of his adoring fans, but Chang was evidently graceful in defeat after the epic battle.

Owen spoke of his win in the dressing room afterwards, “I’m absolutely chuffed, I’ve never had a feeling like that. When the crowd starting cheering my name, I said to myself, you’ve got one chance at this, fucking go for it.”

In the 5th fight, Will “The Shark” Clark fired in some crucial second round punches to take the edge over Alex “I’m sorry Ms” Jackson. As the fight wore on, Jackson struggled to lift his head and the victory was Clark’s.

Match-up number 6 saw Jake “Won’t break” Leighton ease past Jordan “The Cinderella Man” Scudder. The fight was eventually stopped by the ref in the second round, after Cinderella

struggled to make the shoe fit.

The penultimate bout was arguably the most dramatic. Eddie “I’ve got a Semi” Harrop left the viewers in suspense with a lengthy walk-on, before going all the way to a 4th round with Will “I’ll fix it” Fordham. The judges eventually awarded Fordham the victory, sparking a mass brawl behind Harrop’s corner, which the bouncers struggled to control.

After temporarily switching on the lights to allow the culprits of the scuffle to be escorted out of the building, the entertainment resumed. The final fight went the distance, but in the end there was only one winner as a steely-eyed Angus “Razor” Ross outclassed Ed “Put you to bed” Stonehill.

46.sportbucs Gus’ Club of the Week

Monday 7 December 2015

The Courier

Making real progress: Real Tennis stars shine at Uni Championships

By Mark Sleightholm

By Alex Hendley Sports Editor This week’s Club of the Week, chosen by AU Officer Angus Taylor, is Newcastle University Men’s Basketball.

To celebrate their victory, The Courier caught up with Club President Alex Tuddenham for a report on the 2nds team’s victory.

At the 5 minute mark, a timeout was called to rally the team and refocus on the game ahead. After, the knights pushed forward with a fresh start of smart plays as well as a strong inside game from Chris Burnand and Josh Szymanis. This powerful burst against the failing Huddersfield zone ended the first quarter with a score of 12-8 in Newcastle’s favour.

The second quarter started with the same intensity that the first had finished on with Burnand scoring a quick basket to make his 6 point scoring streak complete. At this point Huddersfield mounted a strong comeback, closing the gap again to a two point lead to Newcastle.

However Prodanov, Snelling, Williams, Burnand and Szymanis turned up the heat with an impressive and aggressive help defence which managed to halt Huddersfield’s offence in its tracks.

This allowed Newcastle to pull away with an 11 point lead finishing the half 31-20.

The Knights kicked the 3rd quarter off with a bang, due to an amazing hustle from Matthew Snelling scoring back to back baskets within the first minute. This strong momentum carried on throughout the first 5 minutes with the knights making 12 consecutive points without Huddersfield having a successful attempt on basket.

However there was a powerful comeback from Huddersfield due to a rapid 7 point stretch within the last two minutes of the quarter. Alas, Huddersfield had left it too late finishing the quarter still down by 19 points.

The fourth quarter blazed by with Charlie Williams sinking a 3 and long 2 in quick succession. The final quarter passed with a continued strong inside game by Szymanis and Burnand whom pulled down 85% of the boards all quarter, whilst being backed up by a relentless rotating defence from Derick Ho, Daniel Casado Serra, Levente Borenich and Anthony Savoie.

The team finished the game 72-44 to keep them top of the league. After the game, Josh Szymanis had his say on what was an impressive victory for the knights. It’s clear the team were keen to improve on their last performance.

“After a tough loss to Leeds last time out, we said before the game we wanted to make a statement on court that we’re serious about winning this division.

“We’ve put ourselves in a good position and plan to carry on this momentum against Sunderland.”

A Special mention goes to Allard Bontes who has made a great addition to the club and has been an asset for every game he has played in and we wish him the best for the future.

Newcastle’s Real Tennis team returned from Cambridge in a celebratory mood after a strong performance at the InterUniversity Championships. Newcastle players made it through to the semifinals in both the Pol Roger Cup and the Handicap Singles tournaments, and, in the words of Club Captain Hugh Vermont, “they all played extremely well”.

Great Britain’s first victory at the Davis Cup in 79 years has reaffirmed tennis’ position as one of our most popular sports, with the likes of Andy Murray, Tim Henman and Virginia Wade national – even international – treasures.

But that’s lawn tennis, not real tennis.

Real tennis is the niche older brother of the outdoor, strawberries-and-cream sport, popular with Henry VIII and played on an asymmetrical indoor court where the ball can bounce off the walls.

The sport has seen something of a revival in recent years, and can be played on one of the 40-odd real tennis courts that exist in the world today.

One of the most famous of those courts is in Jesmond Dene, and Newcastle University is one of only a handful of UK universities to have a Real Tennis Club. As a result there are few opportunities for Newcastle’s real tennis players to compete with other students, and so last week’s Inter-University Real Tennis Tournament was a major occasion for the club.

The four day tournament took place in Cambridge and saw teams from Exeter, Middlesex, Bristol and Durham also take part. Two competitions took place: the Pol Roger Cup and the Handicap Singles.

Newcastle’s strongest performance was in the champagne-sponsored Cup. The Newcastle third team, George Beard and Will Briggs, made it to the quarterfinals, with each round including two singles matches and a doubles match.

Nick Green and Inigo Gross made up the seconds and also reached the quarter-final round, where they were joined by the first team, consisting of Vermont and President Callum Watson.

Both the thirds and the seconds were eliminated from the cup at this stage, but the Newcastle firsts progressed through. Vermont and Watson played the Cambridge firsts with skill and pre-

The real deal: NURTC performed well in Cambridge Image: Nick Green cision, but were ultimately defeated by the hosts.

Perhaps bolstered by their victory over the strong Newcastle team, Cambridge dominated the weekend. The Uni set up a repeat of last year’s allCambridge final after the Cambridge seconds beat the Exeter delegation. The Cambridge firsts came out victorious after winning all three matches in the final.

the semi-finals they were both defeated, setting up a tense Middlesex-Exeter final. In the end Exeter’s Alex Mansfield came out on top after a thrilling encounter of high quality tennis.

Due to the somewhat obscure nature of the sport, many players are able to make good progress in competitions despite only recently picking up a racquet.

From the Newcastle team Beard, Briggs, Green and Toby Arup were all complete

ship, and now boasts 27 members. Both the Uni club and the Jesmond Dene Real Tennis Club, where they practice, are always keen to entice new players by offering free introductory sessions.

Vermont said of the Inter-University Tournament: “The whole experience was a testament to how healthy the sport is throughout the country, not least in Newcastle. We have arguably made the better improvements than any

“Newcastle’s Max Vasey got through to the last 16, while Hugh Vermont continued his strong performance by reaching the quarter-finals” The weekend also saw the Handicap Singles Tournament. Unlike lawn tennis, players of real tennis are given handicaps to allow people of all abilities, and genders, to take part.

Newcastle’s Max Vasey got through to the last 16, while Hugh Vermont continued his strong performance by reaching the quarter-finals. Although there was a Cambridge player in each of

novices at the start of term, and both the finalists in the Singles competition were also newcomers to the sport.

Real tennis is said to be more about strategy and tactics than power or agility, and comparisons to chess would be just as apt as any association with lawn tennis or squash. Newcastle’s Real Tennis Club has worked hard over the previous few years to increase its member-

other Uni real tennis club over the past year.”

Between the six universities taking part there was around 50 students, nine of whom were from Newcastle. This was a vast improvement on the four Newcastle students who went last year, and demonstrates the growth and success of Newcastle’s Real Tennis Club.

Wednesday 2nd December results

Overall BUCS Position: 9th

Badminton M1 v Manchester 1sts M2 v Sunderland 1sts W1 v Leeds Beckett 1sts W2 v Leeds Trinity 1sts

6-2 8-0 5-3 8-0

Basketball M1 v Northumbria 2nds M2 v Huddersfield 2nds W1 v Northumbria 1sts

98-64 72-44 65-81

Fencing M1 v Birmingham 1sts M3 v Hull 1sts W1 v Birmingham 1sts W2 v Keele 1sts W3 v Durham 2nds

135-12 97-128 135-12 W/O 122-124

Football M1 v Leeds Beckett 1sts 2-4 M2 v York St John 2nds 1-4 W1 v Sheffield Hallam 2nds 2-0 Golf 1 v Durham 4ths

0.5-5.5

Hockey M1 v Sheffield Hallam 2nds M2 v Northumbria 1sts M3 v Leeds Beckett 2nds M4 v Huddersfield 1sts W1 v Durham 3rds W2 v Leeds Beckett 2nds W3 v Northumbria 2nds W4 v Leeds 5ths

2-2 2-2 1-3 4-5 4-0 0-5 0-1 3-0

Lacrosse M1 v York 1sts W1 v Manchester 1sts W2 v York 1sts W3 v Durham 5ths

14-1 10-18 2-18 3-20

Netball 1 v Birmingham 1sts 2 v L’pool John Moores 1sts 3 v Leeds 4ths 4 v Leeds Beckett 4ths

45-14 28-67 52-44 38-35

Rugby Union M1 v Leeds 1sts M2 v Durham 3rds

24-7 5-48

Rugby League 1 v Leeds Beckett 1sts

0-62

Squash M1 v Leeds 1sts M2 v Sheffield Hallam 1sts M3 v Leeds 3rds W1 v Durham 1sts W2 v York 1sts

3-2 W/O 1-2 1-3 0-4

Table Tennis M1 v Leeds 1sts

13-4

Tennis M1 v Teesside 1sts M2 v Sheffield Hallam 2nds W1 v Durham 2nds W2 v Hull 1sts

12-0 8-4 0-12 W/O

Volleyball M1 v York 1sts W1 v Northumbria 1sts

0-3 0-3

The Courier

sportbucs.47

Monday 7 December 2015

Poly downed for second time this season Men’s Basketball Newcastle 1sts

98

Northumbria 2nds

64

By Gabriel Pennington at the Sports Centre With a chance to remain unbeaten 7 games into the season, Team Newcastle had extra incentive to maintain their unbeaten streak when they faced league and city rivals Northumbria 2s for the second time this season in the BUCS Northern 1A league.

In the earlier encounter in late October, the Poly received an early season beating, going down 86-64. However, they were out for revenge in the hope of limiting Uni’s lead going into the winter break, and preventing Newcastle from taking the division title.

In spite of the fact Poly faced an injury-stricken Uni side, Newcastle managed to outclass their opponents, taking the victory 98-64. They put to rest any doubt that the division trophy would take its rightful place in the sports centre trophy cabinet come the end of the season.

Coach Ian Hewitt saw some positives in his side’s defensive effort, but was left wanting more from his troops overall. “I thought it was a poor performance. Defensively we fought well, but offensively we just couldn’t get into our rhythm.

We didn’t look mentally ready for the pressure they put us under. I’ve got to mention that we had 3 point guards injured. Luckily we’ve got a rest until after Christmas, so that’s a positive.”

Immediately from the tip-off, Newcastle, clad all in white, went up on the board early with a blaze of points from Robbie Lemons. After driving to the basket to card the first score of the game, Lemons maintained his early assault on the Northumbrian defence with a long range 3 pointer to put Uni up 5-0.

The ex-guard for the Stanford Cardi-

nal team in California got off to a flyer, blocking a Northumbrian 3-point attempt, and following it up by immediately drawing a foul from the Poly team.

The American went on a rampage in the first quarter, recording 15 of Newcastle’s first 24 points.

With the help of Charlie Wallrapp, Uni went on a brief early scoring spree, getting ahead before Northumbria had a chance to catch their breath. Alongside number 23 Tayo Oyefusi, Wallrapp controlled the pace of the first period, ensuring the Uni side sought to strike quickly off the fast break after having forced a Poly turnover.

But Newcastle wasted a number of these opportunities, awarding Northumbria easy possession. With 2 minutes to go in the first quarter, 3rd year law student George Beard entered the fray and provided another powerful attacking threat to complement the efforts of Lemons.

The number 8 sunk a perfect 3-pointer to extend the Newcastle lead to 2610 entering the 2nd quarter. In spite of the lead, Coach Ian Hewitt unleashed a scathing team talk, and made 3 changes in an attempt to boost the side’s offensive firepower. But an injury not long before the break provided a blow to Hewitt’s plans, as number 9 Apagatidis hit the court with a nasty ankle injury.

At the beginning of the second half, 59-30 up, Team Newcastle went out to blast away their opponents long before the final buzzer, starting Wallrapp, Lemons, Beard, Nathan Ensz, and Chuck Duru. The quintet worked solidly together and with 8 to go in the 3rd quarter, the match was already out of reach for the Poly team, down 61-37.

Newcastle then suffered their biggest loss, as Robbie Lemons went down with another ankle injury. But the guard was quick to downplay its significance.

“I rolled my ankle two weeks ago in practice, and I just re-rolled it tonight.

I was taped up, so it definitely wasn’t as bad as it could have been. We’ve a big game this weekend as well, and I think

Double trouble: Uni did the double over Poly in the league Image: Gabriel Pennington I should be ready provided I take a day or two off.”

With so many key players out, Team Newcastle managed their losses well, preventing Northumbria from making any headway on the lead that had been built up. The veteran number 8 George Beard, awarded MVP by Coach Hewitt, was outstanding throughout, providing the calming presence needed to manage the final minutes.

“I thought he did an excellent job taking over the point guard position” explained the Coach. “But he also nailed some crucial shots when we needed

them most.” Beard was ruthless in his 3-point shooting, pegging back any progress made by Poly. In moments where the Uni’s attacking plays had been stifled, the law student was selective in the shots he decided to take, and clinical in his execution.

He emphasised the impact injuries have had on the Knights’ season to this point. “In preseason we started with a squad of 15, and in certain games we’ve only had 7 players. So this was actually a pretty healthy squad in comparison.

Unfortunately, it’s all our point guards that are hurt. So we just haven’t had any

luck in that respect. Still, that’s the last game in BUCS for 2015, we’ve pretty much sealed the league title tonight.”

Topping their division will mean Team Newcastle has an opportunity to play for a place in the Premier Division.

But for Coach Hewitt, the team has to focus on it sole aim for the remainder of the season. “Stay unbeaten. I don’t think there’s anyone in this league that should beat us.”

Next week the men’s 1sts face UCLAN at home, a game which could see them win the league if they remain unbeaten.

Late goal denies crucial derby victory

Back of the net: Hugo Clark fires in from an improbable angle Image: Brandon Few

Continued from back page ricocheted harmlessly wide.

Against the run of play, Newcastle regained the lead and in some style. Forward Hugo Clark had the confidence to take on his man and won his side a short corner, out of nothing. From the resulting play, the hosts worked the ball to Clark, positioned on the by-line inside the area. Despite an impossibly tight angle, Clark managed to squeeze the ball past the poly keeper and into the roof of the net.

Almost straight from the restart, Northumbria went up the other end and tried to equalise, but the low shot across goal sailed wide of Dodds’ right hand post. In the build up to that chance, Newcastle’s Archie Blanchard suffered a nasty blow to the mouth and for precautionary reasons was taken away to A&E. Blanchard’s treatment allowed the rest of the team to take a breather and in the immediate minutes after the injury, the game entered a bit of a lull. Both teams lost a player to the bin as the umpires tired of dissent, as the significance of the match threatened to boil over.

With 7 minutes remaining a Uni counter attack provided a rare chance to settle the match. Pete Reilly was picked out in acres of space and rounded the keeper, but fired agonisingly wide of the open goal with a reverse shot. In the closing moments, O’Brien and the

remainder of the bench screamed for calm and instructed his forwards to take the ball to the corner.

Having failed to do so, the poly mounted a final charge and, with the very last play of the match, bundled the ball into the back of the net after Dodds had come within inches of cutting out the attack. Heartbreak for Newcastle and the hurt was clear to see on the faces of the home players.

NUMHC President and 2’s defender Will O’Brien spoke after the game of his anguish. “It’s pretty gutting, I think we all felt we deserved to win that game and to lose it with the last hit is pretty tough to take.”

Despite the disappointment, O’Brien was full of praise for his hard-working players, “I think we can all be pretty proud, we got ourselves into a position where we were the better team. If you compare that to last season, they beat us 3-1 and the season before they beat us 7-0 so that shows the progression of the team and the club.”

The draw means Northumbria maintain their 3-point gap to Newcastle at the top of the league, but O’Brien is confident that the poly can be caught.

“I they’ll definitely slip up and we’re pretty confident we can win the rest of our games including the return fixture which is the last game of the season.”

Sport

www.thecourieronline.co.uk Monday 7 December 2015 Issue 1323 Free

thecourieronline.co.uk/sport

Sports Editors: Alex Hendley, Calum Wilson & Lewis Bedford courier.sport@ncl.ac.uk Twitter: @Courier_Sport | Instagram: thecouriersport

Poly pick pockets: Last minute drama denied NUMHC the win Image: Brandon Few

Last gasp hockey heartbreak Men’s Hockey Newcastle 2nds

2

Northumbria 1sts

2

By Calum Wilson at Longbenton NUMHC 2nds were left with their heads in their hands last Wednesday after suffering a late and potentially season defining goal against local rivals Northumbria. Newcastle had twice put themselves in front but their opponents scored with the last play of the game to level the match at 2-2 and take a share of the spoils back across town.

The incentive of having the local bragging rights is normally enough to motivate the two sides ahead of a derby match. But this one held extra importance with Newcastle trailing the poly league leaders by only 3 points, meaning a win would move them level on points and in with a serious shot at the title.

As a result, the atmosphere before the game was understandably tense.

Frantic chatter reverberated around the Newcastle warm up as the players were constantly reminded of the need to be up for the fight. Captain Charlie Carr led the inspirational talks as the hosts prepared to face the poly’s strong first team outfit.

The pre-match consultations seemed

to work and with the first real attack of the match Navraj Johal’s ball forward deflected into the path of Pete Reilly, who had time to finish into an empty net, after the poly keeper had been wrong-footed. Advantage Newcastle and, as it stood, the two teams were now level at the top.

Newcastle then suffered a serious setback, losing Rory Peplow to an ankle injury after the midfielder was struck by the ball from close-range. Peplow was sidelined for the remainder of the match, having only recently returned from a long lay-off. Ice from a wellplaced Red Bull stand (other energy drinks are available) was applied in a make-shift ice pack and the hopes are that the long-suffering star’s injury wasn’t too serious.

The early deadlock-breaker did nothing to lessen the intensity of the match and the visitors re-grouped and replied with a series of attacks. Defender Will O’Brien slipped on the greasy surface gifting Northumbria a short corner, but captain Carr was on hand to flick away the resulting danger.

The visitors continued to trouble the Geordies, not least their number 14 whose pace and power in midfield was the focal point for most of their threats.

A long driving run from the danger man created another attack on 14 minutes and he looked to be in when the umpires called play back for an earlier infringement, much to the frustration

of the poly players. The officials would continue to play a large role as the afternoon wore on.

Uni keeper Tom Dodds then made his first contribution, on what would be a busy afternoon for the man between the sticks. Another Northumbria short corner created havoc, but Dodds was on hand to produce a great double save with his feet to deny the away side an equaliser.

Frustrated at not being able to break down the Newcastle defence, Northumbria began to lose their heads. A green card was shown to their number 7 for hitting the ball away and the league leaders were temporarily reduced to ten men.

Newcastle were almost able to capitalise. Clever link up play from Simon Jones, George Allison and Hugo Clark resulted in Archie Blanchard winning a short corner for his side. The poly keeper was forced into a great save with his right forearm to deny the hosts a second and the follow up was fired just wide.

Ill-discipline again restricted Northumbria’s chances of levelling, this time losing their number 11 to a yellow card.

The full back appeared to be channelling his inner Gary Neville as he went sliding in on his opponent, meaning a lengthy 5-minute spell in the bin.

Buoyed on by the extra man once more, Newcastle’s Hugo Clark collected the ball in space in the left hand corner.

Looking up and seeing limited options

nearby, the forward sprayed a low-driven ball across the face of goal, nearly picking out the oncoming Allison at the far post.

Inspired by the calming figure of the experienced O’Brien at the back, Newcastle began to assert themselves with calm and collected spells of possession.

O’Brien made a rare burst forward before picking out Patrick Venn who fired an equally dangerous cross from the left which managed to evade all attackers.

The poly, eventually restored their full compliment, managed one last attack before the break. A short corner, awarded almost on the whistle, saw all ten outfield players line up on the edge of the box, but Dodds was again on hand to deny the equaliser and send the home side into half time with a narrow lead.

Sensing that the next goal might completely turn the match on its head, Northumbria came out for the second half with all guns blazing. Nathan Claris sloppily gifted possession back to the visitors and from the next short corner they were level, courtesy of another fortunate deflection.

The equaliser seemed to have an immediate effect on the mentality of the Newcastle players and heads dropped as Northumbria mounted continued attacks. The away side somehow managed to work a 4 on 3 scenario but luck was this time on Newcastle’s side, as the ballcontinued on page 47

SIBLING SUCCESS P.44

FIGHT NIGHT FEATURE P.45

REAL TENNIS CHAMPS P.46