Courier 1327

www.thecourieronline.co.uk Monday 29 February 2016 Issue 1327 Free

DAVID CHAULER An interview on mental health p.9

The Independent Voice of Newcastle Students

Est 1948

THE GRAMMYS HEAVY DISCOVERIES The most remarkable How recent discoveries are

moments discussed p.27

making waves in science p.37 Image: Lewis Bedford

New Sabbatical Officer team revealed

By Victoria Armstrong Editor

Last Friday night, the new sabbatical officer team was revealed during an intense ceremony that took place in Venue, in the Students’ Union. This team will succeed the current group of sabbatical officers in July and be responsible for helping oversee the Students’ Union during the 2016/17 academic year.

The victors are: Jack Taylor as President of the Students’ Union, Chris Duddy as Education Officer, Rachael Kitching as Welfare & Equality Officer, Jade Holroyd as Editor of The Courier, Rebecca Walker as Activities Officer and Sophie Matthews as Athletics

Union Officer.

23 candidates ran across the six positions this year, a decrease from the 32 candidates who ran last year.

The Presidential position received the most votes of any categories, with Jack Taylor taking the lead amongst the four candidates running from the start, receiving 1090 votes in the initial round.

After three stages of redistribution, Jack Taylor emerged victorious with 1415 votes in total, a sizeable 464 vote lead over his closest competitor, Chris Young, who came second.

Speaking after the event, Jack Taylor commented: “Absolutely delighted to have been elected president of NUSU. Unreal effort from my campaign team to help get me the job, couldn’t be more

grateful!“ Similarly, in the Education Officer ballot, a clear leader emerged from early on, with Chris Duddy receiving 959 votes at the first stage, with the other three competitors receiving 400600.

Following three rounds of vote distribution, Chris Duddy came out with 1154 votes, with his closest rival, Beth Robertson, receiving 864.

Asked to describe his clear elation, Chris Duddy commented “Well I suppose it just feels absolutely immense.

To know you have the backing of the student body to represent them is a feeling that I’ve never had before. This also means I get to stay in Newcastle for another year, which is the dream.”

The prestigious position of Editor of The Courier had the most competitors for any position in this round of elections, with five hopefuls. It went on to be won by Jade Holroyd, currently an arts editor on The Courier. This ballot proved fiercely competitive, with Jade receiving 736 votes at the first stage, with Ellie

“To know you have the backing of the student body to represent them is a feeling that I’ve never had before”

McLaren coming second with 441 votes.

At this stage, only 6 votes separated second and third place, and a further 17 separated third and fourth. By the final stage, Jade tallied a winning 982 votes, with Ellie McLaren coming second with 748 votes.

Jade Holroyd commented: “It’s been the most stressful week of my life but somehow I managed to come out on top and I’m absolutely buzzing! The other candidates are all great and I would have been happy whatever the result but I actually won and I can’t believe it.

Oh and thanks to everybody who helped me over the week and of course everybody that voted.”

(Continued on page 3)

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News

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NEWS

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Discover Islam Week connects with students

Monday 29 February 2016

Deputy Editor: Mark Sleightholm News Editors: Peter Georgiev, Antonia Velikova, Sinead Corkett-Beirne & Sophie Norris courier.news@ncl.ac.uk | @TheCourier_News

Professor Steve ‘Dr. Maths’ Humble honored with an MBE for Education

masses as seen in his love and passion for the subject.

Steve has worked on a global scale by trying to advance international development, particularly in Tanzania. He has been working on a project to help change the policies of African states, to convince people that not only the rich can be talented, that there are ‘SlumSuperstars’. He has presented evidence to teachers and state officials through a series of multidimensional tests. Humble is a strong believer in opportunity,

working closely with young children to show how gifted they are, and showing them their own potential. Dr Maths’ idea is that if these children and their system have belief in these ‘SlumSuperstars’ that they will become more committed to developing their natural abilities and talents.

A bit closer to home, Steve has organised many events to get children more involved in maths. Those involve working on Durham Cathedral to show Key Stage 3 children (in his opinion “the most crucial age in a child’s education”) that maths is in everything and can be fun to learn. His work aims to dispel the “bad press” associated with maths and to convince children and young adults “that maths is not as hard as it may seem.” Humble has made maths fun for children, making treasure hunts, puzzles and quizzes. His ambition is to illustrate to children how relevant the subject is in everyday life.

His hopes to help turn around the declining numbers of students who decide to study maths at A level and beyond. Steve has pointed out that these declining numbers of maths teachers and students has become of concern to the government. As a result, the government is now offering funding to be trained as a PGCE Maths teacher as well

as a £25,000 tax free salary. For Steve, this funding is of great importance as he is convinced that without passionate teachers, the joy of Maths will not be passed on.

Dr. Maths was first inspired to dedicate his life to maths by the age of 8/9 by his father. Sitting daily and un-puzzling puzzles together, these experiments fuelled his belief that puzzling is at the heart of mathematics. For Steve this was a fun activity, and he wants other children to see maths through the same eyes. He has worked hard over the last 20 years to inspire people for this. He currently holds a Guinness World Record for having taught maths to the most amount of children (1001) outside the classroom. He has concentrated his efforts to convincing the general public that the fundamentals of mathematics are not about difficult formulae, but about logical ways of looking at and thinking about things.

The constant hard work over the last 20 years has led to his achievement of having won an MBE for services to education. Steve stated that he was “proud, honoured and looking forward to meeting the Queen” and that this was the “proudest moment of the last 20 years of his work”.

universities. The EIB loan will help us to deliver these ambitious growth plans.”

The loan provides fifty percent of the funding required for the university’s ambitious expansion program and it is expected to last thirty years. Part of the loan will be spent redeveloping Richardson Road student accommodation, which is expected to cost £75.5 million. The plans for the accommodation were approved in December 2015 and the securement of the EIB loan was crucial for it to go ahead.

The Urban Sciences Building on Science Central will also be redeveloped. It

is estimated to cost £58 million and it will become the new home of the University’s School of Computing Science after completion in 2017.

The remaining part of the loan will be spent on refurbishing the Armstrong building, located on the main part of campus, and the National Ageing Science and Innovation Centre. This will cost £40 million.

The European Investment Bank decided to grant the loan during a visit to Science Central. They also announced that they will invest a £250 million loan to upgrade and expand the Northern

Powergrid infrastructure which will allow smarter electricity distribution to 3.9 million homes across the North East and Yorkshire.

The Vice President of the European Investment Bank, Jonathan Taylor, said, “Investment to improve teaching facilities and expand student facilities is crucial to enable UK universities to strengthen their local and global role.

This new £100m loan to Newcastle University demonstrates both the ambition and quality of their campus development plan and the European Investment Bank’s firm commitment to support investment in leading universities across Europe. World class innovation, such as the smart grid research between the Institute for Sustainability and Northern Powergrid, will strengthen regional skills in the years to come.”

NASH society hosts first guest Gray Sergent

COMMENT

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“Steve has worked on a global scale, by trying to advance international development particularly in Tanzania”

‘Pointless degrees’: really pointless?

CULTURE

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Steve Humble is a teaching fellow in PGCE Maths at Newcastle Image: Newcastle University Press Office

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By Renee Mayor Professor Steve Humble, also known as Dr Maths, has received an MBE for services to education. Steve, who is a teaching fellow in PGCE Maths at Newcastle University and a freelance maths consultant, has inspired thousands of young people with his puzzles and books.

Professor Humble is committed to making maths more accessible to the

University granted £100 million loan

By Sophie Chapman

Newcastle University is set to receive a European Investment Bank (EIB) loan totalling £100 million that will be used to fund projects to improve the university over the next four years.

The loan is the largest amount awarded to a university based outside London and the South East. The Executive Director of Finance at Newcastle University, Richard Dale, welcomed the loan as he said, “[The] university continues to be a very popular destination for students and our world class research is part of that appeal. By enhancing and expanding our facilities for students alongside the development of cutting edge research buildings we will secure our future as one of the UK’s leading

NUSU, King’s Walk, Newcastle upon Tyne, NE1 8QB. Tel: 0191 239 3940

The Courier is a weekly newspaper produced by students, for students. It’s never too late to get involved in the paper, whether you’re a writer, illustrator or photographer. Email editor.union@ncl.ac.uk for more information.

“The university continues to be a popular destination for students. Our world class research is part of that appeal”

Editor Victoria Armstrong Deputy Editor Mark Sleightholm News Editors Antonia Velikova, Peter Georgiev, Sophie Norris and Sinead Corkett-Beirne Comment Editors Jack Dempsey, Hanson Jones and Daniel Robertson Culture Editors Ellie McLaren and Laura Staniforth Lifestyle Editors Lauren Exell, Ruth Loeffler, Katie Ackerley and Fiona Callow Fashion Editors Sara Macauley, Ellen Dixon and Liz Rosling Beauty Editors Lucy Cochrane, Ellen Walker and Flo Davies Arts Editors Holly Suttle, Jade Holroyd and Emily Watton Film Editors Rhian Hunter, Simon Ramshaw and Emma Allsopp TV Editors Helen Daly, Jack Oliver Parker and Hannah Bunting Music Editors Jamie Shepherd, Dominique Daly and Connor McDonnell Science Editors Iqra Choudhry, Louise Bingham and Anna Jastrzembska Gaming Editors Ollie Burton, James McCoull and Michael Hicks Sports Editors Calum Wilson, Alex Hendley and Lewis Bedford

The Courier is printed by: Print and Digital Associates, Fernleigh House, 10 Uttoxeter Road, Derby, Derbyshire, United Kingdom, DE3 0DA. Established in 1948, The Courier is the fully independent student newspaper of the Students’ Union at Newcastle University. The Courier is published weekly during term time, and is free of charge.

The design, text, photographs and graphics are copyright of The Courier and its individual contributors. No parts of this newspaper may be reproduced without the prior permission of the Editor. Any views expressed in this newspaper’s comment pieces are those of the individual writing, and not of The Courier, the Students’ Union or Newcastle University.

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Monday 29 February 2016

The election results analysed and diverse student community of Newcastle. #IRach’dForTheStars” The battle for Athletic Union Officer was likely the closest of all the positions, with Sophie Matthews receiving 886 votes in the first round, whilst Jos Herbert trailed with only 79 votes behind. They remained close in votes throughout the voting stages and Sophie Matthews came to see victory with 1059 votes by the end, compared to Jos Herbert’s 932.

Sophie Matthews stated: “It’s so surreal and I honestly don’t know when it’s going to sink in, I put absolutely everything in to campaigning and it’s such an amazing feeling to know it paid off. I really didn’t see it coming, so I had no idea what to do when Angus [the current AU officer] called my name! I’m so excited to get started next year alongside everyone else, but with my dissertation due in five days I really should focus on that, but it’s going to be such a great year!”

This round of elections also saw the election of three NUS delegates, who will be attending the National Union of Students’ annual conference in April. They will be joining current SU President, Dom Fearon, and the two delegates nominated in the November elections, Matthew WilsonBoddy and Luke Allison. In this category, three candidates ran for three positions and so all were successful. These were, Cynthia Adiele, Oras AlAni, and Victoria Armstrong.

President AU Officer

(continued from front page) The fight for Activities Officer was hotly anticipated, with three candidates who have all been prominent in SU activities so far this year.

However, Rebecca Walker took a significant lead from the start with 1139 votes to Katy Powell’s 776, ultimately gaining another 146 votes after redistribution to finish with 1285 votes.

When asked how she felt, Rebecca Walker responded: “It still hasn’t properly sunk in that I’ll be the next activities officer! It’s so lovely to see all the hard work and stress that went into my campaign over the last few months pay off with the best reward of all! I’m super excited to get started and can’t thank everyone enough for the support, it means so much and I hope to represent you well in the upcoming year!“ There were four candidates for the position of Welfare and Equality Officer, with Rachael Kitching taking an early lead with 841 votes in the first round, 200 votes ahead of Emily Wassell in second place. This trend continued and by the fourth stage of vote redistribution, Rachael Kitching won the race with 1008 votes in total, whilst Emily Wassell received 809.

Talking afterwards, Rachael Kitching stated “It’s taken a while to sink in, but I think it finally has. Not only have I secured an amazing opportunity for myself, I’m also incredibly excited to represent and work on behalf of the amazing

Editor of The Courier

Activities Officer

Welfare & Equality

Education Officer NUS Delegates The Single Transferable Voting system explained

The single transferable vote system aims to award the job to the candidate with the broadest support and eliminate a need for tactical voting. Voters rank the candidates, with their first preference given a number one, their second choice a number two and so on. The candidate with the fewest first-place votes is eliminated and their votes are redistributed according to their voters’ second choices. This process is repeated until only one candidate remains: the winner.

4.news

Monday 29 February 2016

The Courier

GaGa offers careers advice on global scale

By Sophie Norris News Editor

Images: Faraz Aj

On Wednesday 17 February, Newcastle University Business School hosted their annual Gain a Global Advantage (GaGa) event.

The workshops and speakers on the day aimed to teach students about the importance of gaining experience of the international environment, both culturally and in the job market, in order to land jobs at some of the UK’s top graduate employers.

Speakers included Giles Morgan, Global Head of Sponsorship and Events at HSBC, Wijnand Aalderink, Director of Careers at the Univerisity of Groningen and the Quilliam Brothers.

During their workshop entitled ‘The Quilliam Brother’s Story’, Patrick and Sam Quilliam discussed the success of their Newcastle-based teahouse and the long journey they took in order to run their business. Their experience started with their older brother’s visit to Budapest, and included various other trips to India in order to build up contacts and source their tea.

Patrick said: “If you know what you’re talking about and have visited the place where you source products, you are trusted a hell of a lot more.”

When asked if they intended to open other tearooms in the North East, he added: “It would be foolish to try and replicate the tea house, it’s so special.”

Jesslyn Alverina, Alumni Relations

Officer at Newcastle University Business School said: “Business is increasingly global. Graduates need global and intercultural awareness in order to successfully work in diverse multicultural teams as will be required of them in the business world.

“This event has provided students with the chance to network on a one-toone basis with guest speakers in global senior roles. This exposure has also led to follow up contact between students and some of the guest speakers.

“Business School students who undertake global interships as part of the Business School’s GEO programme and participated in the GaGa event have gone on to achieve graduate jobs with the likes of Santander, PwC BT and Accenture.”

Over 80% of employers actively seek out graduates who have international experience (QS, 2011).

At the end of the day, a workshop called ‘The Global Hotseat’ enabled finalists to be grilled by top industry professionals, including Iain Gibbons from Virgin Money and Lynn Bassett from Nike UK/Ireland.

Three finalists were asked a series of questions such as ‘what makes you nervous?’, ‘who do you look up to personally?’ and ‘when have you worked

“with an increased focus on globalisation, many companies’ tops goals are to expand into other countries”

as a team?’. The participants were then judged on whether they would get the hypothetical job on offer.

At the end of the contest, a discussion was opened up to the wider audience to give them a chance to ask top employers questions about interviewing and experience.

Earlier on in the day, the cafe hosted a ‘GetGlobal’ fair which included stalls from the Careers Service, Geo Internships, the Language Resource Centre and a social entreprise stall.

Fiona Miller, a representative from the Careers Service said: “with an increased focus on globalisation for business, many companies’ top goals are to expand into other countries.”

According to figures given by the Language Resource Centre, ‘12,862 employers look for someone with language skills’ and it is through social enterprises such as Enactus that students can ‘gain a global advantage’ over other applicants.

Enactus has done work in Dufatayne by helping to teach locals how to make sanitary products out of banana trees.

The engineering students have helped empower people on a global scale and hope to expand their work across the North East further by working with veterans in the local area.

There are various societies on campus who work for charity projects overseas and this is a great way to set someone apart from other candidates when applying for highly competitive roles.

“This exposure has also led to follow up contact between students and some of the guest speakers”

The Courier

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Monday 29 February 2016

ISoc opens up faith and welcomes all

By Sima Nikolajeva Last week Newcastle Universality Islamic Society celebrated Discover Islam Week on campus.

The event aims to promote a better understanding between people from different cultural and religious backgrounds and educate non-Muslim students about Islam.

The week, which is the biggest event in ISoc’s calendar and, according to organisers, has been held every year for over a decade now, was bigger and better than ever before.

A spacious heated marquee was setup in the Claremont Quad, decorated with art installations and posters, with the view of presenting Islamic history and culture in an engaging manner.

Da’wah officer and a member of the organising team, Sohail said: “The reason why we are doing this is simply because we feel it is important for us to build bridges with non-Muslim students on campus. We know that a lot of students may not truly understand some things that their Muslim friends do in their religion, so this week gives us the opportunity to share and explain these beliefs to a wider public but at the same time we are not looking at it as a missionary work.

“We really love this week because we know that there are so many misconceptions out there, especially now when you, unfortunately, find Islam being in the media quite a lot, inevitably causing some negative attitudes, and we are screaming to kind of go ’wait, it’s not

Images: Richard McLeod

like that, please come and talk to us!’”

The week began with the opening ceremony on Monday morning and the privilege of cutting the ribbon to declare the weeklong event open fell to Mr Shed Coulthard, the security manager at Newcastle University.

“The best way to start familiarisation with Islam is actually to speak to a Muslim” The opening ceremony was followed

by Musa Alghamdi, the President of Newcastle University Islamic Society, who took the stage to welcome everyone to Discover Islam Week 2016.

The university’s Coordinating Chaplain, Catherine Lack, spoke about the importance of understanding and learning about one another’s faith and Head Sister Ayat Bashir, read some of her own spoken word poetry.

Sohail added: “The whole purpose for us was to put on a nice marquee, and give a lot of hospitality here to show what Islam is all about, and we wanted to do it the best way we can”.

Each day throughout the week, from 10 am to 6 pm people with interests in each topic were invited to step into the marquee and engage in conversation with Muslim volunteers about their faith and the way of life to find out what

Islam – world’s fastest growing religion – really stands for.

The tent featured a range of interactive stalls, giving visitors the opportunity to try out Henna painting, homemade samosas, Hijab scarves, and Arabic calligraphy, drawn by world renowned calligrapher Lord Richard MacLeod, as well as a wide variety of literature to help novice Islam-explorers.

Robina Saeed said: “I would honestly say that the best way to start familiarisation with Islam is actually to speak to a Muslim person - as many different Muslims as you can, because everyone has their own story to tell, and you can therefore see what Islam means to each Muslim, so by speaking to someone on a personal basis it would be a lot easier to understand and trigger your thinking.

“For me Islam is about giving back to the people who give to you, and being charitable first and foremost in your intentions and actions”.

Among other things, the marquee installation was aimed at addressing a number of topical questions and common misconceptions often associated with Islam, such as unequal rights of women and men in Islam, prohibition of public and political activity among Muslim women, and ‘warlike character’ of Islam, as well as at generally extending one’s knowledge of The Qur’an, ‘Five Pillars’ of Islam, links between Islam, Christianity and Judaism, the notion of motherhood in Islam and why Muslim women dress the way they do.

Robina said: “In no way does Islam discourage Muslims to speak to other

people of different religions, quite the opposite; Muslims are not necessarily Arabs; Islam does not force Muslim women to wear hijab, Muslim women can drive cars, keep their wealth for themselves, keep their surnames and are not deprived of the right to vote.

“In regards to my own faith, I’d say that Islam gives me a real sense of inner peace - Islam is love and compassion to everyone around me, regardless of whoever they are; as well as a richer, deeper sense of fulfilment in my life, which keeps me grounded and stops me from spending time worrying about the minor, inconsequential details that can sometimes cloud the larger picture that is life”, shared her perception Ayesha, another volunteer at the tent. “Islam teaches you to take care of your heart”.

“We work with disadvantaged children and encourage them to explore the countryside” Day three payed a particular attention to Women in Islam, featuring a dedicated daytime session and ‘Discovered Pearls’ event in the evening, meant to bring together Muslim women and Hijab Challenge participants to share their experiences and talk about why Muslim women actually wear the hijab.

“At first I thought the Hijab challenge

wouldn’t feel any different, as it was just putting on a scarf on my head really, but to my surprise I actually felt really selfconscious -it was such an interesting experience and I was even a bit ashamed I felt so different”, said Lisa, one of the marquee attendees who took part in campus-wide Hijab Challenge on Tuesday.

As referred to the organizing team, Discover Islam Week has always been a great success, and this year’s event became no exception with even a greater number of people coming in to exchange their knowledge and lead thoughtful discussions, resulting in a generally greater buzz in the marquee as compared to the previous years.

Sohail said: “We’ve obviously progressed a lot over the years: we used to have just one small stall outside of the Students’ Union, and now it has grown into what it is today.

The society itself has actually grown over the years, and because the society has grown a lot more people have been interested in actually being involved in something like this, where all of us can come together and express what our faith is all about”.

The society also arranges lectures, study circles and social events to engage the wider community and promote a more accurate understanding of the religion. During this academic year ISoc has organized Alternative Freshers’ Week, hosting a series of alcohol free entertaining events, and Charity Week, raising a total of more than £3000 for various community charities.

6.news

Monday 29 February 2016

The Courier

Students help out at Volunteer Week

By Sinead Corkett-Beirne News Editor Student Volunteering Week commenced on Monday 22 February 2016 at Newcastle University. The event encourages students to become actively involved with volunteer work, as well as praising the hard work undertaken by those already involved.

There was an assortment of activities that took place throughout the week including T-shirt printing, a visit to Cockle Park farm, litter picking, gardening, and cooking.

Separate discussions that concentrated on the skills gained through volunteering, sustainability projects, and beekeeping and pollination were also held throughout the week.

Go Volunteer worked with Whitley Chapel First School, located in Hexham, to help rejuvenate a pond. According to Natasha Hemsley, an MSC Environmental Resource Assessment student at Newcastle University, “There was a lot of manual labour involved. We had to remove the old pond liner in order to put a new one in. We also planted trees at the school.”

The money required to install a new pond was granted by Newcastle University and the Green Grants scheme, which works with schools across Northumberland to create ponds, wildlife gardens, and allotments. The Green Grants scheme relies on the help of volunteers, including students. The scheme dis-

tributes small grants to provide schools with such resources; in the past year a total of £32,000 was distributed in two batches amongst various schools in Newcastle and Northumberland whose applications for funding were successful.

“The Green Grants scheme currently works with 17 schools. We are in the process of building bird boxes which we will distribute to eight schools”, said Kellie, a Go Volunteer. “We tend to work with first, primary, and middle schools. We recently helped install an outdoor seating area at one primary school using sustainable products. The Rupert Woods community works with disadvantaged children and encourages them to explore the countryside.

The grants are allocated depending on how much each school requests which can range from £500 to a maximum of £2,000. Some schools organise other ways of raising money, such as bake sales, to meet the costs.”

A visit to Cockle Park Farm, one of the top agriculture technology centres in the UK, was scheduled on Wednesday 24 February which gave volunteers the opportunity to plant organic food products and do a spot of gardening.

Other activities arranged during Student Volunteering Week were litter picking in Fenham and cooking in the Agriculture School’s kitchen. The opportunity to build bird or bat boxes for local wildlife and beehives was available to students on 25 February at Venue.

“We work with disadvantaged children and encourage them to explore the countryside”

The Courier

Monday 29 February 2016

news.7

NASH society hosts its first ever guest talk

By Lewis Elliott Following the recent establishment of the Atheist and Secular Humanist Society (NASH), the group held its first official event last week with guest speaker Gray Sergeant.

A member of the organisation Student Rights, Sergeant is a graduate of LSE and has appeared on the BBC talkshow The Big Questions. Student Rights was founded in 2009, with the aim of faciliting freedom of speech, minimising exclusion of marginalised groups and preventing extremist views of all types from going unchallenged.

The presentation focused both on freedom of speech as well as extremism on campus, the issues surrounding these topics and suggestions on how to resolve them.

Sergeant outlined the issue of far-right and religious extremist groups attempting to infiltrate university campuses.

Part of his organisation’s work involves tracking various speakers regarded as extreme such as an individual who spoke at Cardiff University, and who was alleged to have described homosexuality as a “scourge” – which led to an investigation and the subsequent discovery of some disturbingly homophobic blog posts.

Sergeant was keen to stress that the objective of his work is not to silence or exclude those who hold conservative religious views. He said his organisation “[is] all about inclusivity and not mar-

ginalising people for having certain relgious beliefs”. Rather the aim is to highlight and raise awareness of those who “cross the line” into hateful or inciteful conduct.

A central theme of the evening was engaging and challenging extreme views expressed on campuses, and stopping them from going without scrutiny. Sergeant expressed concern at the recent trend of banning speakers who express views that some may disagree with, arguing that by engaging them in fair and open debate, they can be properly challenged and not allowed to simply propagate a single, “dominant” narrative. The topic of safe spaces was also discussed, with concern expressed over the balance between protecting and facilitating meetings of vulnerable and marginalised groups, whilst still trying to engage with and debate opposing viewpoints.

Sergeant also highlighted that freedom of speech should always work both ways. Citing an example from a London university where a student was intimidated for questioning a speaker’s past comments, he argued that these opposing views must be heard without intimidation or safety fears.

The presentation was warmly received by the audience, with a number of follow-up questions and answers on different topics . It gave a good start to a new society, and provided a new forum of discussion for a previosuly unrepresented student demographic at Newcastle University.

“The presentation focused both on freedom of speech as well as extremism on campus”

Gray Sargeant emphasised that freedom of speech should always work both ways.

Image: Oliver Burton

The Great Gatsby charity ball hits Bonbar

By Louise Hall

A group of Newcastle University students organised a Great Gatsby themed ball last weekend to raise money for Teenage Cancer Trust.

The event took place on 28 February 2016 from 7pm at Bonbar.

Part of the ticket profits will be donated towards The Teenage Cancer Trust, a charity that works to provide care and support for young people facing cancer throughout the UK. One of the organisers of the event April Darrell told The Courier: “We wanted to do something d i f fe re nt , something more creative than a typical charity ball. We wanted everyone, for just one night, to be able to forget all the university stress and dress up in sequins and suits to celebrate all the incredible work that Teenage Cancer Trust has done and what better way to celebrate than with a Roaring 1920s Gatsby party!.

April described why fundraising for the charity was so important: “Teenage Cancer Trust works with young people diagnosed with cancer and really helps and supports these young people through all the awful and traumatic experiences of cancer. You see the strength and determination of these children and teens to beat cancer and so we wanted to help and support them by raising as much money as we can.”

A ticket to the event cost £25, which

included VIP treatment and full access to the bar. For every Gatsby cocktail purchased, £1 of the proceeds was donated to Teenage Cancer Trust. The evening also featured food available from Bonbar’s luxurious burger bar.

Newcastle University’s Jazz Orchestra and singer Jenna Darrell performed at the event. A 1920’s themed photo booth and grand raffle featuring an exciting host of prizes from photoshoot vouchers to paintballing tickets also featured as part of the evening. A fancy dress competition took place for both male and female winners of best 1920’s attire.

Part of the raffle ticket proceeds will be donated to the charity, where there were a range of prizes including £240 worth of vouchers to be spent on a photo-shoot, Alnwick Castle and Garden Tickets, and paintballing tickets.

The group is expected to raise at least £600 from the evening. The students behind organising the Gatsby themed ball have previously hosted a Speed Dating night and a Valentines themed girls night to raise money for Teenage Cancer Trust.

At the Valentines themed girls night at Nancy’s Bordello on 11 February, the organisers managed to raise a total of £225 for the charity.

The students also aspire to organise a Teenage Cancer Trust music festival.

April stated that the team have put their heart and soul into organising this event and are looking forward to fundraising more for TCT.

“We wanted to do something different and more creative than your typical charity ball”

The Courier

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Monday 29 February 2016

Normally abnormal with Dave Chawner Last week, comedian Dave Chawner performed a free show at The Venue as part of Eating Disorders Awareness Week and in support of eating disorders charity Beat. News Editor Antonia Velikova reports

Last week, NUSU’s mental health charity Mind the Gap organised a series of events for Eating Disorders Awareness Week. As part of the events, critically acclaimed comedian Dave Chawner presented his award-winning show Normally Abnormal.

Dave has been featured on the BBC, The Independent, The Guardian and has also conducted a TEDx talk on his battle with anorexia.

Speaking on the significance of Eating Disorders Awareness Week, Mind the Gap Treasurer Andrew Lister told The Courier: “Eating disorders are some of the most serious mental health issues, and they’re often minimised and seen to be “fad diets”, or not real. People need to realise that these are real issues that affect every aspect of a person’s life!”

Mind the Gap also had an Eating Disorders Awareness stall in The Forum on Wednesday.

After the show, I sat down with Dave to chat more about comedy, his experiences and how he thinks our attide to mental health has changed.

Excellent show, Dave, thank you! To start off, why do you think it’s important to hold events like Eating Disorders Awareness Week?

Thank you! I think it’s important to focus on it because that’s when it hit home for me, when I went to University. And people are so stressed nowadays, it’s so much pressure on the kids.

Trends are showing it’s a huge problem but I think it’s more important to talk about it. One of the most stigmatizing things for me was that nobody ever talked about it in a normal way.

Comedy is a great way to do that. If I want to go out with mates, I want to have a laugh. If I’m sitting around with people, I want to joke around – and I never had that when discussing anorexia. That’s a huge problem, and it can really bring you down.

So you think it’s majorly a communication problem that we have, when we discuss issues like that?

It’s hugely a communication problem.

There are so many support networks in university, which is wonderful. I went to seek help when I was in my second year of University – and that was huge!

Dave performing in The Venue for Eating Disorders Awareness Week Image: Haaris Qureshi

I don’t know why I was so scared. I thought I wasn’t ‘anorexic enough’ and I was terrified that someone would say that. No one did, and that was amazing.

I kind of want to get people talking about mental health rather than mental illness. That’s a huge line to cross. I get so bored of hearing sad stories, depressing stories about mental health. They do happen, and they are awful; but let’s talk about being healthy rather than being ill.

“I went into comedy because I’ve always thought that it’s a wonderful way to start conversations and bring people together” That seems to be a trend that we’re observing recently anyway. Do you think that we’ve progressed a lot then, in our ways in which we talk about mental health, or do you think there’s still a lot of work to be done?

A bit of both. We’ve progressed in our conversation about mental health so much. It’s so easy for people to moan and whine about these things and we have moved on from that a lot. But there’s still a lot of work to do. Sure, 1015 years ago, you wouldn’t have had anything like this, not really. But because we’ve made steps forward, it’s pretty hard to think of that as motivation to keep going. So yes, I do believe there’s still work to be done.

So let’s talk about your tour. Where have you been so far and where do you still need to go?

So far, it’s been Cardiff, Ipswich, Warwick, St. Andrews, Liverpool, Brighton, Cambridge. Bournemouth, Lancaster, Oxford, Sussex, Portsmouth and London are next.

Basically you’ve been going all over.

How has it been going so far?

It’s been mental. People think that go-

ing on tour is glamorous, it’s really not.

I just spend a lot of my time on trains.

I know some of the Virgin staff by first name. And the thing is, you don’t really get to chat to people either. One of the people on the train, while I was getting down, wanted to sell me a sandwich and I just tried to engage him in conversation. By the end he seemed close to going “Do you want a fucking sandwich?

Stop talking!” [laughs] You just start craving human contact.

I’d imagine! Certainly not what many people think going on tour is.

What about the shows so far - how have students received you?

The reception so far has been really lovely. There’s only been one that has been [pause] interesting.

Not necessarily a bad thing, surely?

Not bad necessarily. They’d just forgotten to promote the event. And the next day they had this big event, which apparently about 3,000 people go to – so huge venue, 350-seater, and they’ve got nine people in. Nine! Now, in that situation you’ve got two things you can do – you either pull the gig, but because it was a free gig I didn’t really want to do that, or play with it, do it more conversationally.

Problem was, I had a sound tech, a lighting tech, and a bar manager. And they did a lighting show, there was dry ice and I just looked like the most arrogant prick in the world. Because there was like nine people!

Wow! You must be happy that tonight went so well then.

Oh yes! Newcastle is wonderful, I always love coming up. Kate, who organised this, is absolutely lovely, and so is the audience, always.

It’s interesting how you do the show every night and new things always pop up. So by the start of the month it can be a completely different show. I think that’s really interesting. Even now I’m learning new stuff about mental health, which is fascinating.

That’s great to hear. Your show is so insightful and touching, and it approaches anorexia in a very unconventional way. Why do you think it’s important that we change the way we talk about eating disorders?

I went into comedy because I’ve always thought that it’s a wonderful way to start conversations and bring people together. I love the lyricism of it, and I love the articulate angle to it. Sometimes it’s a problem for people and even doctors dealing with mental health, because you’re trying to articulate something so ineffable, so difficult to grasp. One of the finest examples of that – depression.

The first thing to go when you have depression is the ability to articulate yourself. With comedy shows, once you’ve got the bit of an anaesthetic, having a bit of a laugh, people say the truest things.

Once I had a therapist, who instead of asking people how they’re feeling asked them what colour they were feeling.

And it’s such a simple kinesthetic thing to ask. It’s so intuitive. It’s stuff like that that we can all learn from.

The thing about mental health and about therapy, which I’m still going through, is the ability to learn together.

Learning together is key.

So how does the audience contribute to your shows?

I remember the first time I took [one of my shows] to Edinburgh and a girl came over to me afterwards, crying. She said she’d been anorexic for two years

Dave is touring universities around the country in support of BEAT Image: CR2 Studios and three weeks and she’d tried to kill herself. And she said that just being able to talk about it and hear about it she felt instantly safer. That really hit me – I cried like a baby.

The audience adds a big thing to all shows. Without being arrogant, as I get more confident in the show, it’s quite nice to be able to see what audiences laugh at and also prod them with a stick as well. A lot of the stuff that I say, like for example that joke [referring to anorexia] about ‘everyone needs a hobby’, it’s very interesting the reaction it gets now. In the early days of writing the show, I kept thinking ‘Please laugh, please laugh, please laugh,’ and if they didn’t I had to think of a backup.

Whereas now, it’s quite interesting to be able to sit back and go ‘Okay… so what do we think from that reaction?’ That’s very interesting.

“Just openly ask friends how their mental health is, it doesn’t need to be awkward” It is indeed! So do you see yourself as some sort of a role model? And who was your own role model, growing up?

That is a very good question! If I am a role model, I’m the worst one in the world. I’m not Gandhi, I’m not splitting the atom. Comedy is in a dire need of pulling the celebrity aspect out of it. I hate to admit this, but as soon as I allow myself to think like that, I’m an arsehole. It would feed my ego and I want to take ego completely out of the con-

versation.

The best way that I think of myself and the best barometer and compass I have for me is ‘Who did I need when I was seventeen?’ Who did I need? How did I need them to talk? What would have been important for me to hear? I’m in a very lucky position that I have that experience to draw on.

In terms of where mental health is going, we need to lead by example. That’s what I mean when I talk about stigma.

We need to stop talking and start doing.

Instead of saying ‘Oh, we need to stop being so awkward around people in mental health,’ no! Just do it. Just openly ask friends how their mental health is, doesn’t need to be a big thing, doesn’t need to be awkward.

I had a number of different role models. I don’t like that idea very much though, because I don’t want to take on the role of someone else. I have people who have inspired me. Robin Williams though, joking aside, comedically at least. I’ve watched Mrs. Doubtfire so much that I find myself doing the silly voices, quoting some of the lines. If you’re exposed to something so much – the Geordie accent too, you take it on the more you hear it. That’s why it was so huge and that’s why [Robin Williams’ death] hit me so hard.

A great answer to a great question.

So, final question - will you be back in Newcastle at some point?

I would definitely come back to Newcastle. Always, always, always. I love the Mind the Gap guys, they have a great cause, all the mental health and wellbeing stuff, it’s so great. Beautiful city, I would always want to come back here.

10.nationalstudentnews

Monday 29 February 2016

Image: Richard McLeod

The Courier

NEWSTACK Union scraps council Southampton Southampton University Students Union have proposed to get rid of Union Council as part of plans for a new democratic structure within the Union.

In a new blog post, Kerry Sclater, Vice President Democracy and Creative Industries, said: “In my opinion, the very backbone of a Students’ Union is how it enables its students to have their say and make change, which is why its so important that we update our structures to reflect what our students want.” Instead of Union Council, which currently meets twice a semester and elected councillors vote to make changes to the Union, SUSU are proposing to improve You Make Change which Kerry hopes “will become the new cornerstone of the decision making process” and lead to “fewer bureaucratic hoops to jump through to make change happen” Any student can submit an idea to the You Make Change system and then sabbatical officers will discuss it.

Maggie statue planned Kent

Tory students plan to erect a 250-foot (76.2 metre) iron statue of Margaret Thatcher on their university campus to encourage “good and sensible behaviour.” A petition by Kent University Conservative Association’s (KUCA) has now moved onto its second stage - collecting signatures - after the first stage was approved by Kent Union, bringing students closer to seeing the Iron Lady look down on them every day. With 12 days left, 80 students from a possible 150 have, so far, shown their support by signing. Describing how the statue would be built in the Graeco-Roman style and inspired by the Colossus of Rhodes - one of the Seven Wonders of the Ancient World - the petition reads: “[It] would be placed on a 50-foot (15 metre) high white marble pedestal in the square across from the university’s nightclub, ‘The Venue’.

Student bar renovations

Discover Islam Week 2016

Newcastle Work Experience - Recruitment Assistant Citrus Event Staffing | Newcastle upon Tyne. | £2400 bursary Newcastle Work Experience (NWE) is a summer work experience programme providing current and graduating Newcastle University students the opportunity to undertake challenging projects within Newcastle University and North East businesses.

This placement is for 10 weeks full time to take place between June and September.

Citrus Event Staffing provide high quality event personnel including stewards, entertainers, promotions, bar and security staff for leading music festivals, sporting events and bars throughout the UK. The successful individual will support the team in matching and recruiting experienced staff for the many events Citrus are involved in. Tasks will include: Recruiting staff using the online database, matching the requirements of the event host including skills, experience and availability - this will be mainly telephone based; Updating the website to include the latest news and information; Responding to outgoing/incoming queries online and over the telephone.

Closing Date: 20/03/2016 Newcastle Work Experience - SEO Assistant Engineered Solutions | The placement will involve a mix of working from home and from the Engineered Solutions office in Wylam. There is a train service from Central Station to Wylam. | £1200 bursary Newcastle Work Experience (NWE) is a summer work experience programme providing current and graduating Newcastle University students the

opportunity to undertake challenging, project-based placements within Newcastle University and North East businesses. This placement is for either 5 weeks full time or 10 weeks part time.

Engineered Solutions is a materials handling equipment and storage systems supplier, designer, fabricator and distributor. With the introduction of a new website we require support with increasing our visibility when using Google through organic search results. You must have knowledge and experience of search engine optimisation. Placement duties include: Content optimisation; Creating focus words for individual product pages Link building; Editing pages on directory websites; Creating new content in the form of infographics and blogs; Uploading products to the website.

Closing Date: 20/03/2016 Newcastle Work Experience - Marketing and Events Assistant Disability North | Gosforth, Newcastle upon Tyne | £1200 bursary Newcastle Work Experience (NWE) is a summer work experience programme providing current and graduating Newcastle University students the opportunity to undertake challenging, project-based placements within Newcastle University and North East businesses. This placement is for 10 weeks part time.

Disability North is a free Independent Living Service which promotes social inclusion, independence and choice for disabled and older people in the North East

of England and Cumbria. Disability North is a user led registered charity which works with, and for, disabled people, empowering them to maximise the control they have over their own lives.

The position is part of the Disability North Marketing and Events Team. The Marketing and Events Team work to raise money to support the key functions of Disability North and also promote the charity. We organise and provide information on forthcoming events and training courses, manage external events and organise DNEX, our annual independent living exhibition. Under the guidance of the Marketing and Events Manager the Marketing and Events Assistant will work on the planning of the International Day of Disabled People, DNEX 2016, along with individual adhoc activities.

Closing Date: 20/03/2016 Location: Gosforth, Newcastle upon Tyne Newcastle Work Experience - Research Assistant Linskill and North Tyneside Community Development Trust | North Shields | £700 bursary Newcastle Work Experience (NWE) is a 100 hour flexible work experience programme providing undergraduate and postgraduate students with the opportunity to undertake challenging projects within North East businesses and charities.

Linskill and North Tyneside Community Development Trust (LNTCDT) completed a community asset transfer of the Linskill Centre in North Shields in April 2006. Since then, the Trust has grown and the centre is a thriving facility that serves the community of North Tyneside. The centre has 35 permanent tenants, with over 200 staff and 53 volunteers. The centre also provides an OFSTED registered nursery, and has a catering and an events department.

LNTCDT is presently preparing to deliver a pilot project with North Tyneside Council to manage Royal Quays Community Centre, as an off-site venue to the Linskill Centre. This experience will then inform the possibility of taking on similar facilities on behalf of the local authority, towards ensuring continuity of community provision in key areas of North Tyneside.

Closing Date: 06/03/2016

King’s College London

A statement from King’s College London has revealed that Guy’s College Bar & Cafe in the Students’ Union is set to close on 19 March for renovations. The renovations form part of a larger overhaul of student spaces on Guy’s campus, with the Student Centre and activity rooms that are currently based in Boland House being relocated to the West Wing. The bar itself will remain in the same location, but with ‘a new look and feel’. “Guy’s Bar is the heart and soul of Guy’s campus, which we all have a fond love for despite all its faults, a bit like a parent’s love for their deficient child. It will be hard to get by without it, it means we must survive without cheap pitchers and stained shoes.

However hopefully it will return in a better state,” said Kouros Driscoll, a 3rd year Medicine student.

Several Facebook events have been created to make the most of the last few weeks of the bar being open.

Decline in applications Exeter

Exeter University is among other Russell Group universities who have seen a drop in the number of students from poorer backgrounds, despite extensive efforts to bolster numbers. Exeter University has suffered the biggest fall, at 2.6 percentage points down compared with 2004/05. According to the Higher Education Statistics Agency, less financially disadvantaged students have applied to seven of the 24 universities considered the best in the country. Universities minister Jo Johnson said that these figures show a “worrying lack of progression”. Other universities, experiencing a lack of apllications, are Oxford, Cambridge, Durham and Imperial.

By Antonia Velikova

The Courier

.11

Monday 29 February 2016

Comment thecourieronline.co.uk/comment

Comment Editors: Dan Robertson, Hanson Jones & Jack Dempsey courier.comment@ncl.ac.uk | @Courier_Comment

Are ‘pointless’ degrees really pointless?

Have university degrees become compulsory and therefore valueless? Two writers give their perspective on higher education Yes, they really are.

Robin Richards

L

et’s not beat around the bush: the UK is plagued with too many embarrassingly pointless academic institutions. As a result of the 1992 Education Act (passed under the pretence that the superficial equality of these establishments would lead to a more meritocratic future), 35 former polytechnics became the “new universities”. So began the age of the semi-compulsory university education and with it the rise of the ‘phantom’ degree; completed solely for those two numbers at the end of three years of what, admittedly, has been the most hectic, comical years of your life so far.

“Yet we have developed into a society where standardisation is more important than the potential undermining of values and interests”

ic reasoning, it completely misses the point.

The criticism that so many people hold against tertiary education in the current system is not a lack of elitism but rather a prevailing belief in it as a prerequisite for success in any form. We have reduced the value of so many degrees to work for work’s sake. Now don’t get me wrong, l love every moment of this three year sabbatical from real life, whilst awaiting the inevitable 2:1. I’m studying a subject that, whilst incredibly interesting, carries very limited relevance into any career I would want to go into. So whilst I’m all for the pursuit of knowledge and ability to memorise Galtung’s definition of political violence for anyone who wants it, the insistence on semi-compulsory tertiary education in such subjects both demeans them and damages those studying them.

University is a mind bogglingly expensive process to go through simply to tick another box.

We’re all aware of the loans and overdrafts it takes to get through it so I won’t bother repeating them, but they really are astronomical. To think that society now actively encourages people to come to university and get in that debt all to study Art History is almost comical, if it weren’t for the very real problem of debt. There are, as always, those that think that the government—and therefore by definition the rest of the population —should bear the cost of someone chasing a fancy through university. Such an argument needs no rebuttal - partly because those that make it day in, day out would fail to listen but more pertinently because when someone is studying a degree that does not provide a skillset necessary for later life they are in fact pursuing an interest, not a

These phantom degrees come as a result of the insistence on an entire generation to continue their education into university, degrading the very purpose of education. For those who genuinely hold an interest in, for example, the classical influence present within European art, the ability to determine that this is something they want to study rather than just an unfortunate bump in the conveyor belt of education is what would provide meaning to the work. Yet we have developed into a society where standardisation and quasi-socialism is more important than the potential undermining of values and interests. In response, people will point to the obvious fact that tertiary education for anyone who wishes it should be available. This is, of course, true.

Yet like most points made by those who seek their dystopian future above any pragmat-

right.

The populace should not be forced to bear the brunt of such a hobby.

“The problem with those who study ‘phantom’ degrees lies not in their choice of interest, but rather in the role of society asserting the essential nature of a university education for success”

The problem with those who study ‘phantom’ degrees lies not in their personal choices of interest, but rather in the role of society asserting the essential nature of a university education in order to be successful. This belief, encouraged in the hope of dissuading the notion of a classist society, has in fact damaged society. Generations of geographers are now flooding out of universities across the country in vast debt equipped with only a bogstandard degree and knowledge about the permeability of igneous rocks.

No, they’re really not.

Emma Bancroft

A

s students, we are all too familiar with the concept of ‘Mickey Mouse’ subjects at degree level.

Subjects that are often claimed to fit the criteria of ‘useless’ and ‘not worth studying’ include Media, Agriculture and Fine Art. And let’s face it, it would be nigh on impossible to complete a degree in Geography without receiving few little jibes to do with colouring pencils. But is this really fair? Are there really any subjects that are truly pointless?

“And let’s face it, it would be nigh on impossible to complete a degree in Geography without receiving a few jibes to do with colouring pencils” Surely a degree is only pointless in the eyes of somebody who has no use or interest in the subject. ‘Pointless’ is a subjective term, everything has

a different ‘point’ for different people; you simply cant make a blanket statement about something being useless just because it doesn’t appeal to your interests or doesn’t seem relevant in your life.

We all have completely different personalities, interests and skills and just by the nature of how society works, we need different individuals to represent all areas of our society in order for it to function. If everybody studied the degrees that some people qualify as ‘useful’ like Medicine or Accounting, who would manage and develop other sectors of society? If people didn’t study Media, who would have the skills to broadcast on television, radio and online across the country?

If nobody studied Geography, who would be involved in assessing flood risks and building flood defences in our towns? Doesn’t all seem quite so pointless when you bring context to how these ‘pointless’ degrees could affect all of us day-to-day.

Many people seem to be under the impression that the reason that one studies a degree, is in or-

der to gain competence in that particular field, and this is only partly true. By studying any type of degree you are demonstrating an abundance of skills; the ability to meet deadlines, communicate

“As Albert Einstein once said, ‘If you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid’” with a range of people and structure arguments and present them in a coherent way. Degrees teach you to be analytical and critical and draw conclusions. On a personal level, completing a degree is rewarding and gives you a sense of fulfilment and personal achievement. Even just to turn up for

something for 3 years shows a level of motivation and commitment.

It appears that many of the people who are criticising other people’s studies feel that their degree is more ‘academic,’ and whilst on their constant quest to validate their own degree, they forget that academia does not qualify somebody’s intelligence. As Albert Einstein said, “If you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid”. This reminds us to think twice about comparing ourselves and other people to one set standard; we’re not all the same, we don’t all fit into the same mould.

Lots of advice given to people on the ‘best’ degree subjects to take are based on obtaining a good job in the future, but genuine interest cannot be faked and therefore surely a good way to succeed into breaking into the highly competitive and difficult job market is to be armed with a degree in something you’re passionate about. By that definition, nothing is pointless, and as Steve Jobs said, “the only way to do great work is to love what you do.”

12.comment

Monday 29 February 2016

The Courier

A REBUTTAL Council delivers results for students

In a rebuttal to last week’s criticism of the Student Council, Luke Allison gives us a wider picture and tells us where it triumphs

I

do welcome criticism of our Student Council and I am pleased that The Courier published a piece criticising it. It is in no means perfect but we are constantly striving to make it more representative than it currently is but this is a ongoing process. However, I want to draw on the original piece written and I’d like to focus on the more constructive elements of Council and the positive results it establishes.

Over three years of Council I have seen some great things come about through it. We have initiated change on the University drug policies, divested from fossil fuel investments, we rejected University “fit to sit” proposals for exams, rejected University biometric scanners, introduced tax free menstrual care items and free emergency ones, put in policy to accommodate transitioning students and passed a response rejecting the Government’s higher education green paper among many others.

Council does a lot of good and works to amplify student opinion. Let’s take the last Council sitting

to which last week’s article was referring. Council passed motions promoting randomised Council places (increasing representation), support for students in joining trade unions, against students being excessively fined for using student halls fire exits and added ex-convicts as a protected characteristic. The motions that pass are the ones that we should focus on. Any student can bring a motion to council but not all pass. I refuse to believe that the motions that passed were “unrepresentative”, as was mentioned last week, and only helping “people similar to themselves”.

To expand on the point that was made about how representatives are only “seeking to help people similar to themselves”, the roles are there to represent; their job is to voice opinion of key demographics and those demographics’ opinions, so to this point I completely disagree. I was LGBT+ officer last year and as the member of Council representing LGBT+ students. I would be failing if I did not talk from an LGBT+ perspective.

Representation roles such as these make up a small contingent of Council and besides, I don’t see why these roles, who talk on motions, should be criticised for being quiet in others when anyone in the room can speak on them.

I encourage solutions to be offered up with criticisms to Council. One I personally might suggest is giving all elected positions of clubs and societies a position on Council. A suggestion that has been raised to this issue has been that we should spend more time debating issues during Council.

This however I feel is redundant as you can already request for further rounds of debate if you think they are needed. In addition, do we really want to go for a system where we debated indefinitely?

Council is already 2-3 hours long. When we start exceeding 4 hours how many students are going to commit? Won’t we be excluding students who have other commitments, jobs and, well, sleep?

As for the accusation that we don’t amend motions, this is not correct as motions usually are dur-

ing the course of the council process. I don’t know where the statement that ‘rarely allowing polices to be amended before being passed’ came from.

All submitted motions go to Steering Committee who go through the motions, proofread them and make sure they are legal and formatted correctly.

They are then circulated around students signed up to the council mailing list and posted on the Union website for people to submit amendments.

You can make minor amendments at Council but major ones have to be submitted before so they go through steering and get circulated around students.

Student Council is a constantly evolving entity that reflects the constantly changing student population. If you don’t think it’s right now then bring some motions that you think could improve Council. I love a good debate.

P.S. I love the Countdown music.

Apple vs FBI: digital surveillance gone too far?

The FBI recently demanded that Apple produce a ‘backdoor’ software for the iPhone. Two students discuss whether it should Scott Houghton

T

he Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI) in the United States last week ordered Apple to produce a ‘backdoor’ into the iPhone. It came as Apple and the FBI are fighting over an iPhone which was recovered during the investigation of the San Bernardino massacre in December 2015.

ability of iPhone data and some argue that it may even allow access to the phones’ hardware, like the front-facing ‘selfie’ camera. The FBI is even going to tenuous lengths to force Apple to produce this software, digging up an obscure American law— the All Writs Act of 1789, which The Guardian describes as the equivalent of “trying to turn a Swiss Army knife into a giant sword.”

It is disgraceful that Apple, a multinational cor-

Ritwik Sarkar

N

ot for the first time in their history, Apple was involved in a row with the US Government. The controversy concerns

“It would allow the FBI total control of iPhone hardware, including the front-facing selfie camera”

“A raging fire that has been created over government surveillance”

The FBI asked Apple to help break into that phone and Apple have refused to comply, so the FBI have been given a court order compelling them to challenge that in court. The issue raises questions which the answers, the answers to which will have big implications for privacy and cybersecurity for millions of Apple customers all over the world, due to this giving the FBI a backdoor to the iPhone and potentially other Apple products such as the iPad or Mac. Some, however, have condemned Apple for their decision, including figures such as Bill Gates and the parents of murdered soldier Lee Rigby, who was killed by Islamic extremists in Woolwich, UK, in May 2013. Most people would not question the need to access the data of terrorists or criminals if their data alone was needed to be recovered, but what the FBI want would give them access to every iPhone.

“It is disgraceful that Apple, a multinational corporation, has to protect the rights of citizens instead of the publicly responsible FBI” Post-Edward Snowden, the big question is what this means in regards to our own privacy and the spectre of governmental surveillance. No doubt any such technology would be handed over to the NSA, which in 2013 was revealed to operate a huge secret surveillance apparatus along with many other governmental spy agencies—the UK’s GCHQ included. It would allow the total control and avail-

terrorists shouldn’t be left in the hands of “corporations that sell stuff for a living”.

On one hand it isn’t hard to see the validity in the FBI’s claim, on the other hand however, doing so sets an incredibly dangerous precedent for the exactly what the government can access on its own.

Apple’s battle with the US Government adds fuel to the already raging fire that has been created over government surveillance. In a recent addition to their FAQ page, users asked Apple why they couldn’t just build the software fix the FBI is looking for while ensuring that it’s only compatible with one particular iPhone model and that it’s only used once.

poration, has to protect the rights of citizens instead of the publicly responsible FBI, as Edward Snowden remarked on Twitter whilst in exile in Russia for making public the NSA spying scandal.

Our dependence on services provided by corporations such as Apple to protect our own privacy increases everyday, yet it is good for their business also; we need to trust companies with our personal data and this is one way of Apple ensuring that users trust them. Yet the idea of being able to trust private companies more than public bodies sets us on a dangerous precedent as technology only becomes even more integral to our everyday lives. We as consumers need to know that our digital privacy is being protected by public bodies as strongly as they are in real life and not trawled, harvested and mined as though we are all criminals, not collected by politicised faceless government agencies.

the FBI’s demand to have Apple produce the digital means to hack into its users’ phones on the Government’s request. In an inquiry launched into the perpetrators of the San Bernadino shootings in December 2015, the FBI wanted access to all of the contents on both users’ iPhones, citing “National Security”.

A federal judge last week ordered Apple to help investigators gain access to encrypted data on the iPhone 5C used by Syed Rizwan Farook, who with his wife, Tashfeen Malik, killed 14 people in San Bernardino, California, on 2nd December.

Apple CEO Tim Cook responded by denying to do so, citing how they would happily co-operate if the FBI went through the due legal process of acquiring the information.

“We don’t want to break anyone’s encryption or set a master key loose on the land,” said FBI Director James Comey in a statement Sunday night, insisting that vital decisions involving safety from

In it’s response, Apple drew a comparison between the physical world and the digital one, citing how the technique, once created, could be used over and over again, on any number of devices. It isn’t simply gone once it’s destroyed.

Moreover passing this legislation could create a proverbial master key, capable of holding ‘hundred or million locks’ Recent attacks on the IRS systems and countless other data breaches have shown, no one is immune to cyber-attacks. Apple has said that the only way to guarantee that a powerful tool isn’t abused and doesn’t fall into the wrong hands is to never create it.

Apple itself however, has had security issues of it’s own, with the celebrity hacking scandal of 2014, where private photos of many singers and actors were leaked onto the internet, putting a serious dent into Apple’s PR. Former Microsoft CEO Bill Gates look to provide a more balanced stance on the issue. Speaking to Verge Magazine, Gates took a more moderate stance than some of his counterparts in the tech industry, not fully backing either the FBI or Apple but calling for a broader “discussion” on the issues. “I do believe that with the right safeguards, there are cases where the government, on our behalf — like stopping terrorism, which could get worse in the future — that are valuable”. But he called for “striking a balance” between safeguards against government power and security.

It has become fashionable for people to rally behind Apple, making the Silicon Valley giant the poster child for the defense against the Government intrusion of privacy; this issue might simply be blown out of proportion.

Apple in no way prevents access to their users’ private information, but does raise questions as to why private information isn’t dealt with as seriously as money in a bank.

The Courier

comment.13

Monday 29 February 2016

Boris is the epitome of the ‘career politician’ Recently the Mayor of London backed EU membership, but his true careerism is exposed with his change of heart on this subject Benjamin Eckford

A

fter months of speculation, Boris announced last Sunday that he would campaign for Britain’s exit from the European Union. He told the assembled journalists outside his house that it had been an “agonisingly difficult” decision for him. One could question precisely what he had agonised over; whether Britain would be better off in or out of the EU, or which campaign would be best for his career prospects.

In 2013, the journalist Michael Cockerell made an excellent documentary called Boris Johnson:

The Irresistible Rise To Power. In it, Johnson was very candid that he has always had huge personal ambition and drive. Elected as an MP in 2001 alongside Cameron and Osborne, he stood down in 2008 when he became Mayor of London. The whole point of this was to raise his national profile.

When Cameron announced that he would not run for a third term as PM, Johnson was quick to get himself back into Parliament last year, to be eligible for the forthcoming Tory leadership election.

Osborne, long seen as Cameron’s heir apparent, will be the continuity: the pro-EU candidate. But then there is space for a Eurosceptic candidate in the contest, and ever since Cameron promised the referendum in 2013, Johnson has been trying to

gauge how Eurosceptic he should appear in order to give himself the best chance of winning, despite telling the media in 2014 that, “I am not an Outer”.

“Despite his protestations of a genuine belief in Brexit, Johnson’s ambition is transparent” George Eaton, in the New Statesman, wrote that Boris calculated that his leadership ambitions would be best served by being on the same side as

most Tory members. Despite his protestations of a genuine belief in Brexit, Johnson’s ambition is transparent. Nick Cohen, writing in the Spectator, said everything about him was phoney, and his former boss Conrad Black has labelled him as “ineffably duplicitous”. On Monday, Cameron declared in the Commons, “I have no other agenda than what is best for our country”, a sly dig at his former school friend’s barely-concealed ambition. The same day, BoJo’s father Stanley told the Today programme that his son’s decision was ‘career-ending’.

Which Johnson will be vindicated? Will the referendum make or break Boris Johnson’s career? I await with interest.

We must finally admit responsibility for refugees

One student discusses how we must remember refugees’ human rights and take responsibility for the West’s role in the crisis Patrick Kaczmarczyk

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ccording to Greek mythology, our continent has derived its name from Europa, a Phoenician princess with a divine spirit who was abducted by Zeus in the form of a white bull and seduced on the isle of Crete. Her name is compounded by the Greek terms eurys (wide) and opts (eyes), symbolising Europa as a woman of wide vision.

In many regards Europe used to be associated with these qualities. Great European thinkers such as Kant and Voltaire built the foundation for the development of a prospering civilisation by emphasising reasoning and humanity. How much of these values are left today when we look at the refugee crisis? 34% of all refugees are children, yet so many see them as a threat. Refugees account for 0.3% of the population within the EU, yet so many fear the loss of cultural identity. More than 3,700 died in 2015 trying to cross the sea to get to Europe, turning the Aegean Sea into a mass grave, yet many people seem not to care.

And what about our responsibility for the Middle East Crisis? Since the coup against the Iranian president Mohammad Mosaddegh in 1953, the Western World has destabilised the entire region and created the monster of terrorism. The coup in 1953 led to the Iranian Revolution in 1979 that is considered by some historians to be the birth of radical Islam. During the 1980s Saddam Hussein was supported by Western governments financially and militarily in his war against Iran, and considered to be a good partner until he attacked Kuwait in 1990, where the US was massively involved in oil production. The annexation of Kuwait led to the first Gulf War and the sanctions on Iraq were not banned after the war was over, leading to hundreds of thousands of deaths in Iraq and the destruction of a stable middle class.

“The Western World has destabilised the entire region and created the monster of terrorism” At the same time during the 1980s, Mujahideen fighters were armed with weapons, training and money to force the Soviets out of Afghanistan. When asked in 1998, if US President Jimmy Carter’s security adviser Zbigniew Brzezinski regretted the support of radical Islamists, he answered: “What is most important to the history of the world? The Taliban or the collapse of the Soviet empire? Some stirred-up Muslims or the liberation of Central Europe and the end of the cold war?” - I think a look at the world around us reveals a clear answer to his questions.

After the Iraq invasion in 2003, the disbanding of the military in Iraq, further interventions in Libya and Syria, and exports of weapons into conflict regions, as well as to Saudi Arabia and Qatar, caused the whole mess we are facing now. So does the Western contribution to the actual causes of the

Middle East Crisis not oblige us to show at least some humanity and spare no efforts to bring back peace into the region? A refugee is not a migrant, he or she does not have a choice but to leave or die. So many refugees are innocent children whose lives have been torn apart, how can one deny them their human rights?

“A refugee is not a migrant, he or she does not have a choice but to leave or die” After a devastating World War II, the main ideas were to help each other out of the disaster and to make sure such a tragedy never occurs again.

Institutions were found, human rights were declared, and related to this, the 1951 Refugee Convention aimed to secure the rights for those without protection.

The first three articles of the Declaration of Human Rights state the following: “All human beings are born free and equal in dignity and rights.

They are endowed with reason and conscience and should act towards one another in a spirit of brotherhood.” (Article 1) “Everyone is entitled to all the rights and freedoms set forth in this Declaration, without distinction of any kind, such as race, colour, sex, language, religion, political or other opinion, national or social origin, property, birth or other status. Furthermore, no distinction shall be made on the basis of the political, jurisdictional or international status of the country or territory to which a person belongs, whether it be independent, trust, nonself-governing or under any other limitation of sovereignty.” (Article 2) “Everyone has the right to life, liberty and security of person.”

(Article 3).

More than 70 years after the end of one of the greatest catastrophes in human history, Europe’s answer to another humanitarian crisis are fences and weapons.

I wish our politicians and large parts of the right wing movements across the continent would show some of qualities that root in the origin of Europe: a wide vision and a progressive conception of man.

14.lifestyle

Monday 29 February 2016

The Courier

Lifestyle Editors: Katie Ackerley, Ruth Loeffler, Fiona Callow & Lauren Exell

Pizzeria Italia

From the family who brought you Slice in Grainger Market comes Pizzeria Italia where you can bag yourself a 12 or 18 inch version of their incredible pizza for under a tenner! The simple cafe has flown under the radar because of its location in Benton but it’s definitely worth the metro ride. Authentic Italian ingredients and old family recipes makes this pizza something truly special. Do not leave Newcastle without experiencing this at least once. Trust me, you’ll be begging to go back!

Benton Park Rd, Newcastle upon Tyne NE7 7LX

Ouseburn

For an entire neighbourhood, Ouseburn is pretty hidden. Located on a hill, ending on the bank of the Tyne, the area is full of independent bars, creative businesses and music venues o you’ll be able to find something for you if you hunt hard enough. Try The Cluny to catch a glimpse of the newest up-and-coming bands, The Tyne Bar if you fancy an unusual pint by the river, or Ouseburn Farm if you fancy, well, you know, animals. For a city, Newcastle really does have an abundance of farms.

Newcastle’s Hidden Gems

The French Oven The French Oven Bakery is part of a family run group of stalls in Grainger Market. It sells an amazing range of freshly made pastries, pies and cakes, all for a reasonable price. The owner’s French background and passion for baking really shine through in everything she makes. Why settle for Greggs when something like this is on your doorstep?!

You’ve been here a while now so you may think you know all of Newcastle’s best kept secrets. Well think again. Brace yourselves as Lifestyle Editor Katie Ackerley takes you even deeper into fantastic parts of Newcastle you never knew existed.

Unit 27-28, Grainger Arcade, NE1 5QF

The Quay Ingredient

The Quay Ingredient, located on the Quayside (haha, get it?) is a favourite amoungst the brunch lovers of Newcastle. The tiny cafe doesn’t take reservations so you’ll have to be lucky to get a table but it’s definitely worth trying. They’re open all day but make sure you go before 12 if you want to experience their legendary breakfast. It won’t disappoint!

4 Queen Street, NE1 3UG

Heaton Perk Heaton Perk is a small cafe in Heaton (duh) which attracts a huge variety of customers, from students to mums and their toddlers. Whilst it takes its inspiration from the iconic Central Perk cafe from Friends, it definitely isn’t a replica. Instead it is decorated in an intersting and quirky fashion packed with retro pieces. The cafe serves great coffee and has a outdoor patio for you to enjoy an old school soda float on a warm afternoon. This isn’t your ordinary coffee shop though. The Perk is also home to a book trading scheme and has a selection of board games for you to play whilst you indulge!

103 - 105 Heaton Park Road, NE6 5NR

Cook House Located in a shipping container in Ouseburn (see above), Cook House is run by a successful local food blogger, Anna Hedworth. A great place to eat, drink and relax, the container has been transformed into a bright and airy space which makes you instantly feel at home. You can go for lunch or their famous supper club which features an ever-changing menu featuring fresh and seasonal ingredients. If you want to get involved then they also run a food school which caters to anyone from a student beginner to a wannabe mastercehf.

20 Ouse Street, NE1 2PF

The Courier

.15

Monday 29 February 2016

Culture thecourieronline.co.uk/culture

Culture Editors: Laura Staniforth & Ellie McLaren Sections: Lifestyle, Fashion, Beauty, Arts, Music, Film, TV, Gaming & Science courier.culture@ncl.ac.uk | @CourierOnline

Blind Date Ruth on Jordan So where did you go on your date with Jordan?

Nandos was my idea. Obviously we had to go for a ‘Cheeky Nandos.’ Since I was in year 8 its been my dream to be taken to Nandos on a romantic date, I just think it has such an intimate atmosphere.

What did Jordan think of your decision to go to Nandos?

Well, he said he hadn’t been there in a few years. I don’t know why . I get chicken cravings every time I walk past a Nandos! He likes chicken though, which is good because I don’t think I could go on a date with someone who isn’t a chicken fan.

Who got there first?

I got there first, I hate being late. I usually leave so I get there 20 minutes earlier than whoever I’m meeting. Punctuality is key. Apart from I forgot my glasses this time so I was actually only 17 minutes early.

What did you talk about?

Erm, I talked about how much I loved chicken a lot.

I was trying to make him more enthusiastic about Nandos and talk him through the best things on the menu like the chicken... and the other chicken.

Apart from that, I think I started talking about my ex-boyfriends a lot. I think its important to discuss past relationships before you even consider getting into another one.

What was his reaction to your conversation topics? Was it awkward at all?

He handled it well. I think he enjoyed all my facts about chicken. But no, I think I’m really good at overcoming awkward pauses.

Was there any sexual chemistry between the two?

Well, I can’t speak for him but I definitely felt the chemistry. I think it was his coat that attracted me to him actually. So really, couldn’t tell if there was sexual chemistry with him... or the coat.

Would you introduce him to your parents?

I would love to. I actually asked him if he was free over Easter or something. I was thinking he could come round Easter weekend and meet all my family. They like to know exactly what’s going on and who I’m socialising with at university.

Did he agree? Are you going to see him again?

Unfortunately we didn’t really establish whether he would come over Easter. It was pretty poor timing because at that exact moment, suddenly his friend rang him with an emergency.

Oh no, was his friend alright?

I hope so, I could hear laughing at the end of the phone so they must have been okay, although Jordan didn’t seem very sure of the details of the emergency.

Would you go on another blind date now after the success of this one?

Oh, well I’d have to discuss that with Jordan. I don’t like to be polyamorous and I definitely need to make sure we’re on the same page on whether we’re exclusive yet or not. Would be a lot easier if he replied to my texts.

So how did your date end?

After his friend rang him he said he had to go and help them with whatever was wrong. So it was quite an anticlimactic ending. I asked if he wanted to rearrange sometime in the future though and I think he said he would as he left.

So finally, if Jordan was an animal what would he be?

Hmm... well I think he’d be a peacock, not because he’s arrogant or anything. I just think he’s pretty and dresses well.

Ruth Loeffler 2nd Year History and Politics meets Jordan Trower, 2nd Politics and Economics

Jordan on Ruth Were you nervous before you met her?

Not really, she messaged me before the date saying how excited she was so it was nice that we’d already spoken to break the ice before the date.

What did you think about the choice of restaurant?

She seemed really keen to go to Nandos, and it’s nice and cheap and casual so I wasn’t totally against it. There are probably other places I’d rather take a girl on a date though...

What were your first impressions?

She ran up to me when I came in the restaurant.

I’m not sure but she seemed to have been waiting for a while before I got there. I don’t think I was late or anything but she said she’d had a couple of bottomless fantas already.

Did she have good conversation?

She knew a lot about chicken. Its kind of amazing that someone knows that much about chicken.

Also found out a lot about her past relationships which was interesting. I don’t know if that’s the ‘done thing’ on the first date but I guess its quite insightful.

What insight did you gather?

That she’s got some issues mainly.

She said she felt some sexual chemistry with you, did you feel the same?

It would probably take a bit longer to decide that.

Nandos probably isn’t the best place to feel the chemistry.

Will you see her again?

Umm... I think she invited me to her house over Easter. But I’ll have to see... I’m going to be quite busy over Easter.

It’s a shame that you had to leave because of your friend, what was the emergency?

Oh... yeah. Umm... he’s fine now.

Do you have any regrets from the date? Like having to leave early?

Yeah, it was an unfortunate incident. The thing I’d probably regret is the Hot Piri-Piri sauce I chose to go with my burger. It was too hot which meant I couldn’t really enjoy it. After the date, I think I decided that Nandos isn’t really what its cracked up to be.

Oh dear, so is this your last experience of a ‘Cheeky Nandos?’

Hmm... I don’t know. Maybe it would be different if I was with my lads instead.

It sounds like you didn’t really enjoy your date!

Would you go on another one?

Yeah sure. I might try and facebook stalk any future blind dates, just to make sure they’re okay...

So final question, if Ruth was a type of food, what woud she be?

Chicken.

Looking for love? Send in your details to c2.lifestyle@ncl.ac.uk

16.lifestyle Foody Foddy

Emma Foddy visits Jesmond favourite Sohe this week for some oriental-style treats

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ohe is a fantastic gem of a restaurant situated at the top of Osborne Road, near Waitrose. It’s the kind of restaurant that makes you feel classy just by being there – this is definitely one to dress up for! When you walk in you’re met with a stunning golden glittery bar which shines from floor to ceiling. The decoration is exotic yet sophisticated. My friends and I sat at a table where the walls were covered in dark leaves sprouting bright pink flowers; we felt like we were sitting in a posh hotel in the middle of Thailand!

“The food is impeccably presented, garnished with bright flowers which add beautiful splashes of colour to your dinner”

In terms of the food, Sohe would give any restaurant in Newcastle a run for its money. The cuisine is Pan Asian, meaning it offers dishes from all over Asia including Japan, Malaysia and Thailand.

The quality of the food is exquisite. It is impeccably presented, garnished with bright flowers which add beautiful splashes of colour to the food. However beautiful it is on the eye, it is even better on the tastebuds. My favourite dish has got to be the duck satay, which consists of duck skewers with fresh mango and vermicelli spring rolls. The pastry was unbelievably delicate and had a satisfying crunch as I bit into it, which was a relief as there is nothing worse on this Earth than soggy pastry.

They were packed with filling and bursting with flavour; I could have eaten a hundred of them. The duck skewers were succulent and complimented perfectly by the Thai peanut sauce.

I don’t think you’d be disappointed by anything on the menu as they seem to have perfected all their dishes. However, personally I was drawn more towards the starters and sides than the main dishes, simply because to me they looked more exciting and I wanted to try as much food as possible!

It worked out being roughly the same price to have two starters and a side as it would have been to have one main course. I was worried this wouldn’t be enough food but I was struggling to finish it!

Equally as much effort is put into the cocktails as they are showered with fresh fruit and flowers, as well as some quirky ingredients such as fairy floss foam and cinnamon bark. There is bound to be something to catch your eye, but I can recommend the Temple of Violets (if you like those Parma Violet sweets, this cocktail will be right up your street!) and the Halong Bay cocktail was another of my faves.

Monday 29 February 2016

Unwritten rules of NCL

Ever wondered what the locals know about Newcastle that you’re yet to find out?

Experienced 3rd year Errol Kerr gives us the do’s and don’ts of life in the Toon

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ou’ve been here a while now, at least 4 or 5 months, some of us far longer. By now, you’ve got round to adapting to the culture that you’ve got yourselves into, or like me, have been born and raised on it, so it’s no different. Here, I’ll just go through a nice little list of unwritten rules that we’ve all unknowingly followed – or live by willingly. As a local, I think I’ve got the know-how regarding this.

“Whilst the cafe areas of the libraries are nice enough, especially if you’re after something quick, you just tend to avoid it”

Whilst you’re in the library, you’ll end up getting hungry, or might fancy a drink. If you’re not of my ilk and tend to avoid alcohol mid-study, you might turn your eyes to the library cafés – don’t. Whilst the café areas in the libraries are nice enough, especially if you’re just after something quick, you just tend to avoid it. You’ve got about fifty-thousand Greggs’ bakeries across town, as well as the

mythical Eat4Less. Whilst I always wonder what’s really in those sandwiches, if you want value for money, and you’re a uni student so you definitely want value for money, you go to Greggs. Which, to be fair, is a rule in itself – if in doubt, there’ll always be a Greggs’ or McDonalds within walking distance of wherever you live in Newcastle.

It’s just how the North functions – you’ll quickly get used to it, and probably thrive in it – you’ll need the fast food. Speaking of which, post-night out or post-house party, you will always get some form of takeaway. ALWAYS. Whether you persuade yourself before you start on the drink that you won’t, you’ll end up in McDonalds, Munchies, ordering a Dominos... the possibilities are endless, and you will go for one of them, because you have no self-restraint when it comes to this.

“The instant you walk into Sinners, you don’t have dignity or standards, nor some anyone else in the room”

“There will always be a Greggs’ or McDonalds within walking distance wherever you live in Newcastle, it’s just how the North functions”

get whatever lethal concoction you decide to grab.

On that note, wherever you are in Newcastle, if there’s a deal on trebles, you take that deal on trebles. I’m sorry, did I hear someone asking for a can of Red Stripe when there’s the option of three trebs for a fiver? I’m sorry, I must have heard that person wrong. 5 quid for 9 shots of spirits (Rum being my personal poison), you’d be committing a sin against your Northern university’s roots by refusing this delightful offer of possibly ruining your liver in one night. And you’re in the North, you don’t think you’d come back without testing your stomach, liver and wallet/purse to their absolute limits?

There are, well, certain bars that you really shouldn’t stay in much later than 11 or midnight.

Ever been in Swingers past midnight? Don’t. The Mushroom? Leave by 10:30. Seriously, kids. Go to Digital or something instead. Don’t waste your precious time. Mind you, there are other bars that, if you really end up in, your liver has a deathwish or you have absolutely no shame. The instant you walk into Sinners, you don’t have dignity or standards, nor does anyone else in the room. So please, leave all sense of moral standing at the door, and pick it up at sometime tomorrow morning, with whatever clothes you throw on with that lovely hungover look on your face. Gotham is a close second to this – you’re allowed to take your dignity in, but you’d best hand it over at the bar before you

Flush that February flu Alex O’ Brien gives us tips on how to get rid of the first round of illness in 2016

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resher’s flu has subsided, and now you think your yearly quota for illness is over right?

Wrong. As you may have noticed in lectures or looking back on your seminar recaps, there is a second wave of cold / flu making its way around university, and probability states you will likely get it. You can attempt to convince yourself that you’re not feeling well because of a dodgy treble, but you can’t keep it up for much longer, and you definitely can’t put that on your PEC form. So what are the best ways to make yourself feel better now that the flu is on its return?

“The first port of call is eating your body weight in comfort food and getting hugs from “I was drawn more towards the anyone brave enough to be starters and the sides than the within a 2 metre radius of you” main dishes, simply because The first port of call that university students are they looked more exciting and likely to take when starting to feel the wrath of the I wanted to try as much food common cold is to mope around the flat. This can involve eating your body weight in comfort food as possible ”

This restaurant has everything. It is perfect for a special occasion or if you just want to treat yourself! The elegance of the surroundings really makes you feel as though you are spoiling yourself. Both the food and the service are flawless and the extensive list of cocktails really makes Sohe something to shout about. There is something for everyone at this restaurant and I couldn’t recommend it more highly. It is on the expensive side but the high quality of the food justifies this. Try it and you won’t be disappointed!

97 Osborne Road, Jesmond, NE2 2TJ

The Courier

or getting hugs from anyone brave enough to be within in a 2 metre radius of you. However staying in bed for the majority of the day (only to resurface for extra paracetamol, food or the much needed shower) can only do so much good.

It is recommended that you drink plenty of water, as well as getting yourself out of bed to do some light exercise or stretches. But as I’m sure you’ve already realised, there is a middle ground that most students choose to abide by. This tends to be the sweet middle ground between eating nothing but chocolate, and getting all the vitamins and antioxidants your body desperately needs. It tends to be made up of the occasional smoothie, copious

amounts of tea, an assortment of biscuits as well as comfort food and as much ibroprofen the back of the packet allows you to have.

“Being ill isnt the end of the world, it can actually give you some time to yourself ” One tactic that can be quite successful (depending on the willpower of the person) tends to be good old fashioned stubbornness. It can get to a point of being ill where you become absolutely sick of it, and the best thing to do in this situation can just be to adopt complete denial of your symptoms.

This is where you essentially aggressively ignore each of your symptoms and return to your normal healthy life. Admittedly if you try this too early you can make yourself 10x worse so use this method with caution.

But being ill isn’t the end of the world, it can actually just give you some time to yourself. It can be so easy at university to get caught up with everything going on between your course, friends, societies and hobbies that sometimes you don’t get any time to actually sit back and truly relax. Sat in bed with a cold can seem like a recipe for a bad day, however it all depends on how you use your time.

There is no reason that you can’t indulge in something you love, or something you feel like you’ve neglected due to your busy day to day life. So sit up, binge watch that show everyone has been on about, or read that book you always said you would.

Make the best out of a bad situation and enjoy yourself! You have been handed the perfect excuse to play on your games console for hours on end or spend a whole day watching movies.

The Courier

lifestyle.17

Monday 29 February 2016

thecourieronline.co.uk/lifestyle c2.lifestyle@ncl.ac.uk | @CourierLifestyle

Veganism - a fad or fab?

Rant of the Week Waitrahs

A sceptical Benazir Parween isn’t convinced that everyone is vegan for the right We’ve all heard the old saying: reason- if the right reason is putting a #healthy to get those mad Insta likes. you are what you eat. It’s the

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hat’s the first rule of being a vegan? You tell everybody about being a vegan.

When you’re truly a vegan, there are no animal products and by-products like eggs, dairy, honey, silk, leather amongst other things. So this is on top of being a vegetarian. It’s not common to be brought up as a vegan since birth; but there are instances of such happenings. But that’s nearly as rare as those elusive vegan products that you order from the depths of the internet, desperate for your fix of guilt-free chocolate. This is to you week-day vegans who have your cheeky Dominoes on a Saturday night while you’re watching Ant and Dec’s Saturday Night Takeaway because weekends are ‘time off ’ from cooking endless quinoa and greens. This isn’t all of you: There’s some genuine believers out there I’m sure, and kudos to you for sticking to your guns, but then there’s a lot of others who just like the way your bowl of lentil soup looks with the right filter on Intagram.

So where do we draw the line? It’s all a blur.

But this whole ‘vegan’ agenda seem to have only been recently popularised. There’s also the whole thing about being gluten-free. You’re either intolerant or allergic to it. We all need to be aware that there’s a major difference between being a vegan and being on a vegan diet. It’s definitely going to be a tough one when you need to do a complete 360 and adopt a life changing lifestyle. Many do it for animal rights, environmental worries but it seems to be a growing trend that people do it for health

reasons. To be more precise – to lose weight, to lose it quick. Surely the point of veganism doesn’t then sit well with it being for a purely aesthetic gain.

But if you snack on vegan candy, vegan cookies, vegan chips, vegan-anything-beyond-the-rightportion, you will put on weight. We need to realise that vegan diet does not equate to an easy way out to losing weight. So don’t shame your friend who’s munching on those custard creams while you munch on your vegan alternative- the difference in calories is probably not that much.

“This is to you week-day vegans who have your cheeky Dominoes on a Saturday night” We live in such a digital culture. The Internet is exploding with vegan-everything and it seems like it makes you a better, high-class individual and a good human being. Being vegan is sold to us as making us a better person, one that can be seen cuddling kittens and donating to Oxfam, all the while having a killer body and flawless skin darling. Does it really? There’s also the sudden up rise of vegan cafes and whatnot. Because clearly your Instagram persona needs to get validated with that perfect snap of your vegan meal. #noshade. Is being a vegan just a hipster trend?

Is ‘hipster’ even a hipster word anymore? That itself is becoming very mainstream now. Anyways, by being a vegan are you willing to let go off your makeup products that are animal-tested? What about your cosy wool jacket to keep you warm?

Those leather boots? Or are you only picking and choosing what you mean by being a ‘vegan’?

We all love food. We really need food to survive and function. But it’s not any kind of food but food with the right amount of proteins, carbohydrates, and fats amongst other things in our system. For whatever reason you decide to choose a specific dietary lifestyle, you cannot just jump on the bandwagon or for fashion. Or because your favourite celebrity is doing it? Following Beyoncé’s steps of being a vegan for 22 days for spiritual and physical cleanse? They all have their nutritionists, fitness trainers in their lives. Queen B is not sitting there planning her meals. While the rest of us, peasants, need to do proper research for ourselves. Do not shock your body by going cold turkey, take baby steps. Get educated. Trends die whether you like it or not. Our diets are a statement of who we are and it reflects on our values and beliefs. You will be bombarded with thousand and one questions, statistics, and thoughts when you proclaim yourself as a vegan. Will you have all the answers? Or are you going to look like you are just following the herd?

The irony of that saying, surely can’t be lost on you!

Met-woes

Like the North-East version of the Tube, Victoria Young negotiates all those tricky pitfalls of catching the Metro, and addresses those pet hates of public transport that we’ve all come to know

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hilst the Tyne and Wear Metro system can be handy and quiet at the best of times, at the worst of times it can quickly become a bustling, chaotic, moving cage of loud and annoying public transport users. For any who use the Metro, you can probably relate to the following list of peak travel time Metro ‘pet hates’, and the annoying things that travellers do whilst on the train.

Firstly, without a doubt, the top Metro pet hate is having to sit next to one of those sinking individuals who clearly has no awareness or care for personal hygiene. Too many times can we innocent, well smelling and showered Metro users get on to the train only to find ourselves sitting next to the life embodiment of Mr or Mrs Twit – flies in hair, food in beard and mist of stench surrounding. We may worry that we’ll leave the train smelling similarly, that we’ll then become the ones that people are backing away from in seminars and lectures, or indeed that people will think that the pervading smell of BO originates from us. If we don’t leave we may even pass out, but, of course, we Brits are far too polite to say anything, and most of us probably far too ashamed to quietly stand up and move.

Instead… we sit there, silently and helplessly dying from the pungent aroma veering from our right, wishing we’d brought our perfume with us.

“Headphones were designed for one reason- TO KEEP SOUND IN!”

Then of course, there are those inconsiderable young folk who insist that everyone else in the carriage MUST listen to their unbearable dub-step, rap and club beats. Headphones were designed for one reason –TO KEEP SOUND IN! It seems as though, unfortunately, young Metro users do not understand this simple truth. With great and wise consideration you may choose to stand or sit next to, who you think is going to be the most quiet and unsociable traveller of them all, having their headphones in hand. Five minutes later you’re listening to a tinny mediated version of 90’s failed trash music, taken off radio for a reason, and you wish you’d

sat next to Mr and Mrs Twit in the double booth!

Another Metro pet hate is being pestered by strange animals whose owners insist on bringing them into the carriage unleashed. There’s nothing worse than peacefully placing down your travel novel to reveal the face of a great big drooling Great Dane gazing up at you, or having to sit next to a couple of unsettled ferrets who have taken an interest in your mobile device. Just why? Evan Almighty doesn’t get a look in when the animals start flooding to you…

“There’s nothing worse than peacefully placing down your travel novel to reveal the face of a great big drooling Great Dane gazing up at you”

Illustration:

Katie Wiseman

The final pet hate is the modern day belief that handbags have a greater seat priority than people.

“Excuse me” you say “may I please sit here?” These are words which are today followed up by an eyelined death stare and an obvious implied “NO! Can’t you see that my handbag was sitting there first?” Reluctantly they move it and you sit down feeling like you’ve just been publically rebuked or asked Jimmy Choo himself to give up his seat. Of course, we all know that sitting next to a stranger on the Metro is like the worst thing ever, right? If you sit next to someone, they are always going to suspect that you’re the crazy who will then offer them a musty old sweet and talk in three different voices. But does this really justify giving the seat next to you to your precious handbag?

The Metro is a wild environment for spotting quirky individuals and developing nail-biting pet hates. Thankfully these are only a real issue, of course, on the rare occasions when Metro is actually running (we probably have Deutsche Bahn to thank for that!) If I had a pound every time that there was a delay for maintenance I could probably afford a month’s worth on my pop card, just to have to encounter the joys of the Metro all over again.

battle of the supermarket giants and Harry Young knows that the only place for your caviar is Waitrose

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hen one decides to live in Jesmond, one knows that there is only one place to do the grocery shopping, and that place is Waitrose. Ideally located at the top of Osborne Road, next to Jules’ and and Boilerhouse to get one’s Saturday jobs done in one trip. As soon as I started looking around houses for my second year, I was set on ensuring my basic living standards. This meant double glazing, an en suite and of course, a Waitrose within 100m of my front door.

When people ask, “Harry, Tesco is next door and is so much cheaper, why do you still shop at Waitrose?”. I simply reply with “Quality”. In Waitrose, I know I can always trust that they’ll have quinoa, avocadoes and smoked salmon. Whereas in Tesco, you’re as certain as ol’ Desmond from Northumbria becoming the next Prime Minister as you are to picking up all three of these. If you are stupid enough to leave it too late and are forced to venture across to the fiery gates of Tesco, you’ll be greeted by some unfriendly faces and some very unfriendly offers on stale bread rolls. Besides, you simply don’t know who you’re going to see in Tesco; those oiks from first year who used to get *whispers* Macdonalds after their nights out, and can be seen now putting their Tesco Value cornflakes into their baskets. Progressing quickly on, you’ll be forced to squeeze your way through the tight sweaty aisles, which are somewhat reminiscent the hustle and bustle of your classic Indian slum.

“You simply don’t know who you’re going to bump into in Tesco”

Tesco simply does not have the legs to stand on when it comes to the quality that Waitrose has to offer. The on site bakery in Waitrose means I can get my Pain au chocolat with my complimentary coffee on the way to lectures in the morning and I’m guaranteed a good start to my day. What can Tesco offer me, a drinkable yoghurt and a dry cereal bar? I know which I’d rather consume on the arduous walk to university.

Following on from the ordeal of the sub-par breakfast offerings, you may decide to buy a sandwich from Tesco. Upon heading to the sandwich section, you’re usually presented with a poor display of your average dry chicken and bacon sandwich on brown, or if you’re weird you might go for tuna and cucumber on white. Plain, tasteless and unappetising I hear you say? Yes, you’d be correct.

Cross the road however and you’re greeted with the norm for a lunch in 2016. Smoked salmon and cream cheese, brie and grape or maybe even a feta salad if you’ve been having too many ready meals (Waitrose, of course). Don’t do it to yourself, walk the extra twenty metres and have your cravings and taste buds satisfied instead of punished. You’ll only have yourself to blame.

“You might even pick up a cheap roast pheasant.. if not there’s always some edible flowers to garnish your buckwheat with”

If you’re lucky enough to make it in time, you might be able to even pick up a cheap frozen pheasant and a goose egg in the reduced section to have for your dinner. If not, there’s pretty much always some edible flowers left over to garnish your buckwheat with.

Everyone deserves quality food. Everyone deserves Waitrose.

18.fashion

Monday 29 February 2016

The Courier

Fashion Editors: Ellen Dixon, Liz Rosling & Sara Macauley

Your Fashion Editor Sara Macauley tells us why dressing your age is old news

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Save, Spend, Splurge: Backpacks

instagram @surplusdesign

In defence of not dressing your age

Lois Johnston helps us to find the best backpacks for all budgets

Instagram @moisepratsdesign

ike most girls, I spent a large proportion of my early teenage life trying to make myself look older. Ill-fitting dresses, questionable shoes borrowed from my older sister – you name it, I tried it. After a while, much to my mother’s excitement, I realised this style simply wasn’t me, so I gave the game up and began to pick clothes more suited to my personal taste, and most importantly, my age.

You only need to look as far as the British high street to notice the obvious age-centric categorisation of clothing. New Look’s 915 range is evidence enough that as a nation, we’re very comfortable with separating style into categories which are deemed ‘age appropriate.’

However, more and more I’m beginning to notice a rebellion from the sartorial world. On more than one occasion, I’ve passed a girl in the street half my age wearing a similar outfit, and conversely, an older woman whose ensemble I’m desperate to Instagram. We only have to look at Celine’s use of beautiful 81 year old Joan Didion in what was to become one of their most infamous campaigns ever to realise that the fashion world is changing – and leaving the age-appropriate tag on the hanger.

As I stood in front of my wardrobe the other week, I began to notice a bit of a jump between the styles of some of the pieces hanging in front of me.

On the left were a few pairs of dungarees, varying in style and shade, and on my right; a cable knit sweater snatched up from a vintage shop, and an embroidered suede jacket which wouldn’t look out of place on my grandmother’s coat rack. It seems like old habits die hard, but this time, the blurring of lines between ‘old’ and ‘young’ is something I’m entirely happy with.

“On more than one occasion, I’ve passed a girl in the street half my age wearing a similar outfit, and conversely, an older woman whose ensemble I’m desperate to Instagram”

Instagram @confetticrowd

Save Backpacks are back and better than ever this year. This metal trim leather-look oversized bag is just £16 from Missguided. Perfect for those on a budget but still wanting to keep up to date with trends. It’s a good enough size to hold all your essentials on a daily basis and is also a practical addition to a summer outfit where you’d rather have your hands free. Being black, this backpack is transferable from season to season, it will go very well with chunky knits in the cold but also add a tougher edge to a dress over the summer months.

Missguided’s version is a great dupe of the Stella McCartney Falabella backpack that Kylie Jenner owns but this one isn’t worth over £700 and so it won’t matter too much if you get it a bit dirty.

Leather drawstring bucket bag Topshop £56

Spend If you’re willing on investing that little bit more into a backpack, this Topshop one is a failsafe. It is a simple, chic, no fuss bag which is bound to go with every outfit you own – you’ll certainly get your wear out of it. The nude colour marks a bit of a change from your standard rucksack but if you really can’t see it going with the items in your wardrobe, it comes in black too. At £56, it’s a bit more on the pricy side, but because of the real leather, it will last you longer meaning you’ll get your money’s worth eventually. This being said, if you want to go faux, ASOS have a huge range of faux leather backpacks at the moment and there are many drawstring bucket backpacks all over the high street this season as the popularity of Vegan fashion increases.

Splurge If you’re one of those people who is into their designer handbags, willing and able to spend more on your accessories to achieve an individual style, then most likely you will have already seen Fendi’s line of ‘Monster’ backpacks. These are extremely unique mini backpacks with monster eye details.

Prices start no lower than £1000, and my personal favourite comes with both studded details and a price tag of £2300, it takes the meaning of splurge to a whole new level. Don’t worry though, because the trend has already begun to be replicated by the high street for a fraction of the price of the originals, which is music to the ears of those of us who unfortunately can’t afford to fork out the whole of our student loan for a handbag.

Blogger of the week: Chloe Helen Miles

instagram @sarahsmartdraws

Chloe Laws, our resident blog-lover, scouts out 19-yearold fashion and fitness blogger Chloe Helen Miles

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his week’s blogger comes in the form of doesn’t set unrealistic goals, for example a post enChloe Helen Miles; a minimalist, scan- titled ‘Why I haven’t been to the gym in two months di-style blogger, with a love for fitness and I’m happy about it’ embodies this ethos. In and music. This blogger is only nineteen, which this post she is brutally honest about how she use conjures up a lot of envy because I’ve got a few to only weigh 7 stone and stick to cardio, and that years on her and have definitely not nailed the now she has figured out the perfect middle-ground casual-but-chic look that she has got mastered. of staying healthy, but not weight-loss obsessive.

Her style is simplistic, as Chloe only wears shades Purely fashion based blogs are great, obviously, of black, white, grey, nude and sometimes denim. because they fuel our shopping addictions, but it This might seem restrictive, but with minimal- is nice to read a website with a more eclectic feel ism it is all about the art of layering and clashing to it. For example, chloehelenmiles.com also has a textures. Plus her use of fedoras always livens up section called ‘give a little love’, where this blogger any simple outfit! The promotes charity exblogging world is of “With campaigns under Chloe’s cursions that her readcourse very trend-led, are involved, belt such as a Boohoo blogger ership so it is refreshing to see in order to help prosomeone who sticks to trip to Ibiza, an adult Disney trip mote a wide range the basics and knows of worthy causes. what shapes flatter with ‘the blogger programme’ and The best thing about them; don’t underes- countless brand endorsements, she Chloe’s style is that it timate skinny jeans is extremely obtainis seriously in-demand” and a classic white-tee! able, you probably With campaigns unalready own similar der Chloe’s belt such as a Boohoo blogger trip to items to what she wears but just haven’t thought Ibiza, an adult Disney trip with ‘the blogger pro- about layering them in a certain way. For examgramme’ and countless brand endorsements (Asos, ple, who’d have thought that a school-girl-esque Missguided, Topsop etc), she is seriously in-de- jumper dress with a classic buttoned-up shirt could mand. Despite not having a following to match ‘su- look so sophisticated?! Plus, can we just all take a per-bloggers’, she still has a hefty 103k on Instagram, minuet to admire her hair?! She definitely had the which is very impressive seeing as she doesn’t have Khloe-Kardashian-style blonde bob long before the typical Youtube channel to accompany her blog! it got super popular. All in all, I’d thoroughly recPart of her popularity is definitely down to the ommend having a browse of her Instagram and fitness side of her blog. When I first started fol- blog, it’s pretty fab and has a tonne of minimallowing her on Instagram a few years ago, her ap- ist ideas. Plus, the charity section makes the blog peal was down to her crazy good abs and not her stand out from the crowd, for all the right reasons. personal style (which has definitely evolved, as she use to be known for literally only wearing black.)

Instagram & Twitter: If you need any tips on how to get fit and healthy, the fitness tab on the website is a great place to look @chloehelenmiles for inspiration. Unlike a lot of fitness bloggers she

instagram @chloehelenmiles

instagram @ chloehelenmiles

It seems silly in this day and age to limit ourselves by adhering to an outdated set of rules when we’re lucky enough to have access to technology which connects us with so many others across the world.

When we have the means to view the OOTD of a 16 year old fashion blogger from Sweden at the same time as a 60 year old’s via Humans of New York, why stop ourselves from gleaning a bit of creative inspiration from those we admire? Whilst age parameters within context of the law are helpful, I don’t see the benefits in telling someone they can’t wear an item of clothing they love because it doesn’t fit with our idealistic view of fashion.

94 year old Iris Apfel is, in my eyes, just as (if not more) influential in the world of style as supermodel Gigi Hadid, with whom I share my age.

I would much rather be a part of a community that embraced the youth for their fresh perspectives, and the elderly for their tried and tested tips than one which rigidly sticks to the culturally constructed parameters of expression we’re accustomed to.

I’m ok with resembling a 90’s mum one day and a dungaree-clad toddler the next, and I’m more than ok with the fact that ageism within the fashion world seems to be a dying trend. As Apfel once famously said; “there’s no roadmap to style. It’s about self-expression, and above all, attitude.”

Oversized chain trim backpack Missguided £16

Fendi backpack mini Fendi £2300

The Courier

fashion.19

Monday 29 February 2016

thecourieronline.co.uk/fashion Instagram:@thecourierfashion | Facebook: facebook.com/thecourierfash |Email: c2.fashion@ncl.ac.uk

Fashion’s most stylish couples Lauren Williamson chooses three celeb couples who could run into the sunset together clutching the fashion crown

GIGI & ZAYN

With New York Fashion Week and Yeezy Season 3 approaching, the Kardashians have been hitting basically every headline. Let’s be honest, you can’t talk about the world’s most stylish celeb couples without the power pair KimYe making an appearance. Kim is known for her curve-clinging dresses which show off her amazing silhouette, and has nailed her signature style with a little help from husband Kanye. Some would say she’s become an ultimate style muse. The duo have had their ups and downs and fashion woes but marriage suits them well, and has had a positive effect on their fashion ensembles. The pair quickly became one of Hollywood’s most dapper and infamous twosome due to their reality and rap found fame. Evidenced by their coordinating sartorial choices though, Kim’s knock-(ers)-out red carpet gowns and Kanye’s oversized statement style, merged together to create complimenting looks. They are definitely a contender for the greatest and most stylish couple of all time.

Instagram @kimkardashian

Instagram @b96chicago

Instagram @laurabittner

Instagram @asialamantia

Instagram @kimkardashian

BLAKE & RYAN

Hollywood’s high-school dream team Blake Lively and Ryan Reynolds have always been our #relationshipgoals. On the red carpet they just laugh and gaze lovingly into each other’s eyes as Ryan allows Blake to take centre stage. Sigh. The ying to the other’s yang, their relationship stemmed from a simple friendship. That’s how all the best ones start. Ryan’s preppy look and Blake’s California boho chic - a look all too similar to the style of her character in Gossip Girl - seem to go hand in hand. Although they are rarely photographed together off the red carpet, we have become used to Blake’s prestigious style and her husband’s tailored look. She always looks totally effortless, even when it’s probably the case that she spent hours getting her hair done and choosing her outfit. Blake knows how to do casual though, and showed us she is the ultimate fan girl in a cute ensemble when she attended a recent movie screening of her beau’s latest film Deadpool. Must.Not.Get.Too.Jealous.

Instagram @blakelively

Instagram @lilacmannequin

KIM & KANYE

Gigi Hadid has become one of the biggest names in the fashion industry this year, and this title is well-deserved. Not only does she always look amazing, but her celeb friendships always keep her in the spotlight. She’s part of Taylor Swift’s squad and one half of ‘KenGi’ with Kendall Jenner. The couple teased at their relationship through social media and kept us all guessing, until we finally knew they were an item – Zayn’s ‘Pillowtalk’ video confirmed it. Gigi has certainly influenced Zayn’s style choices, and his current look is a far cry from his early One Direction days. Lately he sports a more refined, designer look and with Gigi by his side he definitely gets a nod from the fashion world. Combining matching sports-luxe styles and monochrome, Zayn and Gigi are the newest and hottest stylish couple to keep your eyes on. They are definitely heading in the right direction (get it?) to take the crown of fashion’s most stylish couple.

Instagram @zayn

This is the new jeaneration

The Slim Boyfriend: More wearable than the standard Boyfriend jean that has been hovering in the periphery the last few seasons, these jeans are a skinny/boyfriend hybrid. The best ones come in an already worn material, and they’ll look great in lighter shades of blue with plenty of rips. The key is to make sure you grab some in a fit that makes them look as though you accidently shrunk your boyfriend’s jeans and decided to wear them yourself. The Hayden Boyfriend Jeans from Topshop (£42) are perfect and come in a longer length for those of us who struggle to find jeans to sit below our ankles. Style with strappy heels and an oversized, v-neck top and your trusty biker jacket with a strong lip for evening. Or, wear with a tight fitting crop and trainers for day time.

The Flared Jeans: The Seventies trend has well and truly taken over, from unbuttoned, patterned shirts and floppy hats to suede pencil skirts and cord jackets, the highstreet has been awash with seventies inspired looks since last summer. The trend is here to stay and now is the perfect time to be just a little braver than any previous brushes with the seventies so far. Step away from the printed shirt that can be easily hidden beneath your jacket, it’s time to give the flared jean a try. This pair from Only at ASOS (£35) have a high waist and are therefore incredibly flattering.

The deep shade of blue is perfect for being dressed up with a loose shirt, unbuttoned with a flash of lacy bralette for a more relaxed night out. Plus, if you wear a pair of sky-high heels it will appear that your legs go on forever!

hop Tops

s £1 stle Whi

24.9 £ H&M

£3 hop Tops

H&M

99 £29.

£4 hop Tops

2

5

9

40

£36

Hannah Bullimore talks the new jeans on our wishlist, and how skinny jeans are out

The Culottes: Culottes are the everyday equivalent of the girl you see on the metro whose outfit you want to steal.

A bit intimidating, perhaps unapproachable, but above all – very cool. If you’re brave enough to give the new kid on the block a whirl, then black denim is your best friend. It hides a multitude of sins and makes even the simplest of outfits look polished.

Pair with a Breton stripe tee and you’re good to go!

OR, if you can’t let your skinnies go: Then keep them up to date with a dark indigo colour, an ankle grazer length and a high waist fit. They will look great with a chunky sandal for spring, a nude heel for nights out, or a snake-skin runner for day time. They come in a stretch fit so will keep their shape and carry you through until next season. After all, if it isn’t broke, why fix it?

Kanye not just stick to music Mr West?

Emily Higgins discusses Kanye West’s latest show: Yeezy Season 3

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anye West, an unapologetic contraction with zero filter. There has been an endless supply of ridiculousness in the run up to his most recent fashion instalment of his collaboration with Adidas 20,000 people including Anna Wintour, A$AP Rocky and the Kardashians, gathered in Madison Square Gardens for the Yeezy Season 3 show which doubled as a unveiling for his latest album – The Life of Pablo. But audiences and designers alike seem to be getting sick of the rapper’s attempts to draw attention to himself, showcasing his “clothing lines” as a child trying to show off a Lego model would.

Yeezy Seasons 1 and 2 showcased distressed, oversized muted clothing with clear inspiration from the likes of Martin Margiela, Helmet Lang and Raf Simmons giving a strong post-apocalyptic vibe, compared regularly to something found in the wardrobe department of The Walking Dead.

So, Mr West, what’s new? Well, the answer is, not a lot. Granted, the 43 models had a bit more colour to their parka coats and unfinished sweaters but apart from that, the whole thing seems a bit monotonous and unoriginal. In fact, Cathy Horyn (infamous fashion critic who once compared Oscar De La Rent to a hotdog) called the line “Drab, broken down basics (that) proved he can’t be taken seriously as a designer”, ouch. The man who has described himself as the ‘second coming’, charged fans over $100 a ticket to see models stood on a podium covered in old bed sheets. He then previewed his new album to which his friends took to the stage to dance with him. If we wanted to see a group of guys dance on piles of dirty washing we could go to any student house during prinks, it’s nothing new Yeezy.

“The man who has described himself as the ‘second coming’, charged fans over $100 a ticket to see models stood on a podium covered in old bed sheets”

Kanye also had a true to form mid show strop in which he said we are all becoming “New Slaves” of consumerism. However, he still expects fans to splash out thousands on bagging themselves a pair of Yeezy boost 350’s? We’re confused too.

Lacking a standard runway; the models, including Naomi Campbell and Young Thug, were told to stand on a podium. Meaning that those not worthy of making it to the front row had great difficulty seeing the clothes which seems to defeat the object entirely. Confusion was also felt by the models who were given a list of, what can only be described as ridiculous, rules for the show. The list includes hypocritical gems such as “No Acting” “Stay in Character” “No Slow Movements” “No Fast Movements” “Loosen up” “Do not be casual”.

Threatened with a law suit of ‘no less than $10 million’ if they were to break the rules – maybe mannequins would have been a better option Kanye?

The Kardashian clan were out in full force to support Ye’s showcase. The gang, including North West, were decked out in Yeezy outfits looking noticeably uncomfortable in their dishevelled muted clothing and rhinestone encrusted bodysuits.

North and Kim sported matching fur and Kim’s hair returned to the platinum blonde Draco Malfoy look for the occasion. Nice.

The whole thing seemed contrived, only acting as an ego-boost for the rapper, which, let’s be real - he definitely doesn’t need.

Instagram @kendalljenner

20.beauty

Monday 29 February 2016

The Courier

Beauty Editors: Flora Davies, Ellen Walker & Lucy Cochrane

Matte lips

Lucy Cochrane gets us on trend with her pick of the best matte formulas for your lips

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hen it comes to lipstick, my preference will always be a matte formula. Not only are matte lipsticks generally more long lasting, but they create a bolder finish and can make lips look naturally fuller without having to go to the trouble of overdrawing them.

The biggest trend at the moment seems to be matte liquid lipsticks as seen from Kylie Jenner’s new range which has been insanely popular. My favourite liquid formula comes from NYX, an American drugstore brand which is recently available in the UK from the likes of feelunique and boots.

NYX’s soft matte lip creams are perfect because they are available in such a wide range of shades from the more neutral subtle shades, to bright purples and more daring oranges. The formula is thick and buildable as well as being super pigmented which means that you are ready to go with just one coat. They apply really smoothly due to their buttery texture, yet then set to a matte finish which stays put for hours without having to reapply.

Two of my favourite shades are ‘Stockholm’ and ‘Ibiza’. ‘Stockholm’ is one of NYX’s bestselling shades and is forever out of stock online, so if you can get your hands on it then be sure to see what the fuss is about. It is a really natural peachy brown shade which suits a lot of different skin tones, even pale skin as it is nude without being too pale which could wash you out. ‘Ibiza’ is much more vibrant being a mix of pink, red and coral which would be beautiful for summer, or for those days when you simply need to brighten up your makeup. Although a lot of matte liquid lipsticks have the tendency to dry out the lips and leave them dehydrated, these ones from NYX sit comfortably on the lips and manage to be both moisturising and long lasting which is rare. You can buy these for £5.50 which is great compared to a lot of their more premium counterparts which NYX rival.

If you prefer the formula of a matte lipstick, then my pick comes from Charlotte Tilbury and her matte revolution collection. If you are going to splash out on the £23 price tag, choose a shade which you will get a lot of wear out of. I love the shade ‘love liberty’ which is a beautifully deep toned red/purple which adds vibrancy to complete any statement look. What I like most about this shade is that you can blot it onto your lips to create a soft flush of colour, or you can build it up really strongly to create a much bolder shade.

“I apply it before I go out and sometimes don’t even take it out with me and it stays put” Not only is the rose gold packaging luxurious, but the lipstick itself is worth the more premium price tag. It has great staying power; I apply it before I go out and sometimes don’t even take it out with me and it stays put. Like the soft matte lip creams, this lipstick is also surprisingly moisturising and does not dry out the lips. The angled tip of these lipsticks also makes applying it super easy, so much so that there is no need for the precision of a brush.

Instagram: Nyxcosmetics

Best of BAFTA beauty Melody Ramsey brings us her favourite red carpet looks from this year’s BAFTA awards, including Dakota Johnson, Kate Winslet, Saoirse Ronan.

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wards season is undoubtedly one of the most exciting times of the year in the beauty calendar.

The hair and makeup looks of the stars have become just as important as their fashion choices for the red carpet and with the addition of social media it’s becoming easier and easier for us to scrutinize a smoky eye or have serious lipstick envy. The nominees in particular must feel the pressure to get their look right, with cameras capturing their every move it’s for certain that no one wants to be caught out with a shiny forehead or unblended contour.

“The actress looked like a classic movie star siren in a scarlet Dior dress with her lipstick colour matched to perfection”

Luckily there were no standout disasters in the makeup department from the BAFTA’s this year, especially not for supporting actress winner Kate Winslet. Perhaps inspired by the romantic feel of the evening, as the show fell on Valentine’s Day this year, world-famous makeup artist Lisa Eldridge created a red lip for Kate which had everyone running to their nearest Boots to try and find a duplicate.

In true makeup guru style, Eldridge documented the transformation on Snapchat, and even posted a selfie that Kate herself took on Instagram. The movie star has been a long-time client of Eldridge and the pair are a match made in makeup heaven.

With subtle face and eye makeup complete with a pair of fluttery eyelashes and her blonde hair tousled into natural looking waves, Kate looked divine collecting her award for her part in the Steve Jobs.

Red lips were a reoccurring theme throughout the evening and Rising Star award nominee

Dakota Johnson was no different. The actress looked like a classic movie star siren in a scarlet Dior dress with her lipstick colour matched to perfection. However there was a surprising twist to the look as Dakota also matched her eye makeup to her striking gown. In theory, this bold choice of shadow shade should make you look like you have a bad case of pink eye but the colour was subtle enough that the Fifty Shades of Grey actress pulled it off beautifully. With long glossy hair and her trademark fringe, the whole look was pulled together and was definitely one of the more striking ensembles of the night.

A beauty pet-hate of mine is when young women are given makeup looks that make them look older than their years. Luckily this beauty disaster wasn’t a worry for Irish actress Saoirse Ronan on her BAFTA evening. At 21 years old, Saoirse managed to keep her makeup young and

“With long glossy hair and her trademark fringe, the whole look was pulled together and was definitely one of the more striking ensembles of the night”

fresh whilst also looking sophisticated. With feline eyeliner flicks, baby pink lipstick, natural brows and minimal-looking face makeup, the leading actress nominee managed to stay true to her age.

Having her hair pulled back into a messy ponytail accentuated the pop of pink on the lips and the eyes were further amplified by keeping jewellery to a minimum. Although the actress may have lost the award for her part in Brooklyn, Saoirse definitely wins my award for best hair and makeup of the night.

Relight your fire Yiwei Shan shares with us her selection of the best candles on the market at the minute to create the perfect ambiance

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good candle doesn’t only provide a nice mellow light, it also creates an atmosphere. They play an important role in birthday party’s, religious festivals, weddings and funerals as well as other festivities.

Scented candles have already become indispensable elements for regulat-

ing an atmosphere. When you smell the scent of the perfect candle, you are instantly more relaxed.

Here are my recommendations of the best candle brands on the market.

Jo Malone Representative of the British, and specifically London, Jo Malone has recently been acquired by the Estee Lauder Group. Jo Malone has elegant white packaging and a distinctive clean scent. Every time I pass the black and white store, I always want to stay and look for some new products as one thing Jo Malone does is delivers.

I recommend the Red Rose candle, this rosewater combines seven different varieties of roses, and contains the most famous Bulgarian rose, among many others. Jo Malone candles and home fragrances have pure notes, so the scent is simple, meaning you can freely choose to your desired scent content.

Diptyque Since its founding in Paris in 1961, the Diptyque candle has a scent to conquer the world. Its name is a clear indicator of the scent, Figuier Fig is the sweet scent of figs, while Baies Berries candle has a plum rose aroma.

In-

“Jo Malone candles and home fragrances have pure notes, so the scent is simple, meaning you can freely choose to your desired scent content”

Tocca An Italian fragrance brand, Tiffany blue box and a pumpkin carriage shape of perfume bottles is what gives this old-fashioned candle a highly romantic feeling. Tocca, a series of city candles: Florence is tempting aroma of Florence, Italy with a Ivory gardenia and violet flowers composition, reminiscent of the European continent.

Yankee Yankee Candle is candle brand from America, with over 150 fragrances, Yankee Candle offers the world’s largest and most compelling selection of candle and home fragrance scents. I like this brand, because of the vast array of flavors I can choose from, as well as being a little on the cheaper side compared to brands I have previously mentioned. Just place in the corner of your room you can smell the beautiful scent.

The Courier

beauty.21

Monday 29 February 2016

thecourieronline.co.uk/beauty Instagram: Courierbeauty_ | @Courier_Beauty

Get your Grammy on Molly Harris talks us through which celebs rocked it at the 2016 Grammy Awards, the biggest music awards of the year, including Taylor Swift, Bella Hadid, Lady GaGa and Florence Welch.

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t’s that time of year again, not only have we all broken our new year’s resolutions to exfoliate everyday, eat kale and go to the gym, gorgeous celebs walking the red carpet make us normal lot self esteem plummet to new lows. Yes, it’s award season, so roll out the red carpet, get the hair spray and fake tan at the ready as this is a run down of this years best looks at the Grammy’s 2016.

Taylor Swift made Grammys history becoming the first female artist to take Album of the Year twice, but she also stole the headlines for her hair.

Debuting a short blunt bob with a full fringe and Instagram: taylorswift

buttery warm highlights, it’s safe to say she looked amazing. Her simple eye makeup, with black liner on top and a bronze liner under the eye really showed off her blue eyes to their fullest extent. The red lip classic thing that you like never goes out of style worked perfectly with her orange crop top and fuchsia skirt. Her whole outfit truly stole the show.

Alongside Taylor Swift was co-star of the badblood video Selena Gomez. Her hair was amazing; voluminous 70’s inspired waves with a deep side part. She teamed this look with simple dewy makeup. With shiny nude lips and glowing skin, she achieved what all girls set out to do, a totally flawless lit from within glow. With a smoky eye good enough to get every girl reaching for her naked palette, it seemed she truly nailed the look.

However, I have one slight problem with her look: the contour.

Contouring is a trend that seems to be getting more and more popular, but in many of the shots from the night, Selena’s contour is not at all subtle. Well blended illusion it should be. Regardless, this in no way stopped Selena from having one of the best beauty looks of the night.

Bella Hadid swapped the runway for the red carpet, her sleek wet-look hair, soft smoky eye using a silver eyeliner, and killer cheekbones just scream supermodel. She had the most amazing glowing skin and it is my new mission to find out what highlighter make up artist Vincent Oquendo used on her.

We’ve come to expect the weird and wonderful from Lady Gaga, from a dress made out of meat to big bows and bubble costumes, Lady Gaga never fails to impress with her outlandish sense of style.

This year was no exception, and with a touching tribute to the late David Bowie, Gaga looked amazing with bright blue encrusted eye shadow and backcombed orange hair. And she wasn’t the only one to pay tribute: At first when I saw pictures of Zendaya I was majorly confused, when did the mullet come back in fashion? However after doing a little reading it turned out it was a tribute to David Bowie, and let’s face it she can pull of pretty much anything.

“With long glossy hair and her trademark fringe, the whole look was pulled together and was definitely one of the more striking ensembles of the night”

Florence Welch too looked stunning, whilst her make up was barely noticeable, taking natural to new levels, what I love about this look was her amazing ginger auburn hair, which flowed perfect into a beachy wave. Her floor length pink Gucci gown with fringing and embellishment provided inspiration for her pink lip but with pale skin and only a little mascara she proves less is more.

Complexion perfection in 5 simple steps Charisse Waterman gives us her guide on how to achieve glowing skin as we head towards spring.

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s your complexion feeling a bit lacklustre? Well don’t fret. Achieving glowing skin isn’t impossible and you too can have skin that looks like it has been airbrushed to perfection. All it takes is a solid routine, some go-to products, and a positive can do attitude.

Exfoliate/Mask

This is a step that isn’t needed every day, only about 2-3 times a week depending on what your skin is up to. Lush Cup O’ Coffee smells amazing and helps remove any dry flaky skin; you can also use this scrub on your body. Lush has a plethora of masks options and are pretty affordable as well, I recommend BB Seaweed for baby soft skin.

By Miranda Stoner

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ooking at the shabbily dressed, minimally made-up Bella Swan, you may never have envisaged the future face of an internationally recognised make-up brand such as Chanel.

Yet eight years after the release of the first Twilight film Kristen Stewart officially joins the likes of supermodel Gisele Bündchen and Keira Knightly at the front of Chanel’s make-up brand in a campaign photographed by Mario Testino.

Stewart has previously modelled for Chanel as the face of both the 2016 Métiers d’art collection in Rome and the Paris-Dallas 2013 Métiers d’art collection. In addition to this, she starred in the SS15 eyewear advertising campaign as well as playing the coveted role of Coco Chanel in the short film ‘Once and Forever’ produced by Karl Lagerfeld during the Chanel fashion show in Rome.

“Kristen Stewart officially joins the likes of supermodel Gisele Bündchen and Keira Knightly at the front of Chanel’s make-up brand in a campaign photographed by Mario Testino” However it is still a big step for the actress. She was once accused of having a bored and lifeless acting style, but despite these allocations in the first photo of what the fashion house claims are ‘a series of portraits embodying various facets of the contemporary Chanel woman, it seems clear that Kristen’s make-up does not play by the same rules.

The photo may be black and white but there is nothing amateur about the smoky eye she’s sporting. On the contrary it has a mature and seductive quality, added to by the arm covering her face which creates a sense of mystery.

Although the change from plain to elegant is evident, Stewart still seems to be keeping her edgy vampire image.

This is reflected in the eyes, which form the focus of the face and are darkly outlined to highlight their size. Meanwhile the skin is kept pale and flawless. This ‘facet’ of a ‘Chanel woman’ seems to reflect Kristen’s image but it remains to be seen who else she will become.

Tone

This is a step that a lot of people forget to do but it is essential if you want to clear up your complexion. Toners help to brighten and even out your skin by lifting imperfections from the depths of your pores. Toners come in many strength levels and can be drying depending on the strength. They make toner for every type of skin so just make sure that you read reviews or YouTube your favourite guru for suggestions. Pixi Glow Tonic is a great one because it is oil and alcohol free so your face won’t scream when you apply it.

Hydrate

The first, and most important step to achieving a sparkling complexion is super simple, h2o. Beauty comes from the inside out so we have to treat our inner self just as well as our outer. What we put into our bodies effects the outside of our bodies, so if you’re thinking your skin is looking extra dull and dry, stop and ask yourself if you are getting enough water.

Moisturize

Instagram: ohfashionnl

Chanel’s new ‘It’ girl

Last but certainly not least is moisturize, especially in the winter when the cold and wind are hammering away at your face. Make sure you add a little sunscreen if what you are using does not have in it. Neutrogena Hydro gel is light and your skin will say thank you after using it, it is instant moisture. If you like to go au natural, try coconut oil! Coconut oil is magic and helps protect your skin from the elements, you’ll also smell super yummy.

Cleanse

It is key to make sure to wash the day away, luckily there are so many options for cleansing that you can find multiple options that work for you. Make sure to really scrub with some kind of electronic brush like a Clarisonic, it gets below the surface for a complete cleanse. Dr. Bronner’s castile soap is all natural and mixed with a little water it clears the dirt away without being too harsh on your skin.

Cleansing waters are a big trend right now and they are also a lazy person’s best friend because you don’t have to rinse it, simply slap some on a cotton pad and go to town. Alternatively, Garnier’s Micellar Cleansing Water is an affordable option.

Cleansing oil is great if you subscribe to full face glam makeup on the daily; these oils break down your makeup for easy removal. L’Occitane Immortelle Oil Make-up Remover and Boscia MakeupBreakup Cool Cleansing Oil are wonderful oils.

Beauty tip of the week This week’s beauty tip is on how to make your eyes look bigger. First of all, you will need a black liquid eyeliner pen with a sharp paintbrush tip. Draw a long pointed crescent shaped line about 1.5cm long at the end of your eyes for an elongated look. Use a card cut out if necessary for precision. Then, when both sides are perfected, apply a light shimmery eyeshadow on the tear duct area (corner of your bottom eyelid closest to between your eyes) to enhance the whites of your eyes. Finally, apply two coats of mascara. Focus on extending your lower eyelashes longer than usual to create that perfect Twiggy look!

Christina Lau

22.arts

Monday 29 February 2016

The Courier

Arts Editors: Holly Suttle, Emily Watton & Jade Holroyd

Lydia McNeillie The Humanities Student

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day in the life of a humanities student is often characterised by long lie ins and wild nights out, by those who study the sciences or more vocational degrees with heavy contact time. Before we begin our journey in the study of the humanities, we ourselves like to believe that we will spend our spare time pondering great thoughts about literature and art whilst wondering around art galleries, drinking coffee and contemplating the meaning of not only literature, but also life.

“The reality could not be further from the truth”

However, the reality could not be further from the truth. Those of us who study the humanities know that the numbers of hours we are in University is not the number of hours that we are actually studying for our course, and although the lack of traditional learning time and the opportunity to decide how our time is spent can be liberating particularly with many of us involved in societies or working part time, it can also be daunting, especially as deadlines begin to loom their wearisome head. However the lack of contact time, does mean that it is rare that two days in the life of a humanities student will look the same and the same is true for me as an English and French student. So, to offer a sneak peek into the life of a humanities student, I will give you a peek into the universally accepted most challenging day of the week. A day in which causes dislike in both arts and science students. A day that ruins the peaceful lull of the weekend: Monday.

“I usually find that a Diet Coke or some sort of fizzy beverage helps me to stick it out”

My Monday does, unfortunately, start with a 9am lecture. A 9am, I’ll admit, I should probably try and turn up to more. After an hour in this lecture, where I have attempted to not fall asleep, I have a gap of three hours until my next lecture.

While returning to my bed in Sandyford is usually sorely tempting at this point, given I have actually manage to make it, I attempt to stay in University to get some reading or French homework done. I usually find that a Diet Coke or some sort of fizzy beverage helps me to stick it out until my one o’clock English literature lecture on Revoloutionary Britain. After finishing my lecture, I Student Mentor for the University and I visit a school to hopefully try and “inspire” minds. On a side note, I would definitely recommend applying to be an ambassador or mentor for the University, the work is really fun and it fits really well around a humanities student timetable.

“We ourselves like to believe we will spend our spare time pondering great thoughts”

I return to Newcastle University at around four o’clock once I have finished the session. This tends to be the time to dawdle back home where I will try and pick up food for the week before making dinner. If some sort of social has not been arranged or a pub outing, which have decreased in frequency as the golden year of being a fresher has come decidedly to an end, I tend to snuggle up in bed and try and read some of one of the books I have usually been set for that week. Thrilling.

Interview: Wyl Menmuir Errol Kerr interviews former Courier Arts Editor, Wyl Menmuir, about his first published novel The Many and how the University helped him

You studied as an English undergraduate at Newcastle University, how did your time at the University shape your choices about your career as an editor, consultant and author?

I think that the course was great and I suppose I had some really quite inspirational lecturers – people who were quite a big influence on my writing.

I spent a lot of time in the Courier office. I sort of started out by writing out the odd music review here and there, and then got dragged in more and more and ended up as the arts editor, and it was sort of my second home.

I don’t think I would be doing what I am doing today if it hadn’t been for that early experience?

There was so much freedom in it – it brought me into contact with brilliant theatre, art, dance, music, books that I just wouldn’t have come across otherwise, and it complements the academic side of things. Having to get to grips with it was an education in itself and I got to meet some inspirational people.

I’ve noticed a lot of imagery regarding the sea, and with the setting of a seaside town, I must ask, was your move to Cornwall a big influence on your writing?

I started writing before I moved to Cornwall, but it definitely has an influence on it – it’s kind of based around a few fishing villages I know, but it’s based on places I’ve been, including places I’ve visited in Newcastle, around the north Northumberland coast.

Did your time working as a writer and arts edi-

Poetry:

Northern Beauty Written your own work? Short stories, poems, read a book you simply have to share?

Email us! c2.arts@ncl.ac.uk

tor for The Courier lead to changes when you’re writing and reviewing your own work?

I think it helps when, now I’m working with an editor on my novel – I think having that professional experience editing really helps, as I can look at it quite critically – as an editor I don’t really like looking at my own work, but that experience of being in the newsroom of having someone look over your work and sort of tear it to shreds was a really good grounding for any sort of writing you do – kind of knocks the edges off as you can take a lot of criticism – it’s not personal!

Do you have any particular daily routines in your writing process?

I’d sit down on a daily basis and try to write 500 words – I might edit out the 500 words the next day, but I’d always sit and write 500 words. It’s easy to just sit and take a couple of days off, and then it’s very difficult to keep going, so you have to get into a routine of doing it.

I didn’t have a plan, I might go for a walk or something during the day, I’d take some photos of a little village, a Cornish fishing village or something like that – that would be my research. I’d go and sit down and talk to some local fishermen and ask them about their time fishing so I could pick up what life is really like out in the water. I’d go home and let it all sink in, and it was kind of an unconscious process of writing.

For the full interview please visit: thecourieronline.co.uk/arts c2.arts@ncl.ac.uk | @CourierArts

Nude Study and Me How is it that, in 1914, Henri Gaudier-Brzeska drew a nude of me, 1914 – when I wasn’t even a thought, not a little bean or nucleus, no sperm swimming to egg and egg; fallopian tube in utero but no me or my parents, or even theirs – yet there I am in the glass in the pencil barely there (it must have been a hard pencil), my chin, odd jaw, my nipples – recognisable sturdy shoulders, masculine: I’d look from the shower to mirror age seventeen and misty and think ‘what masculine shoulders’, now they’re shared with Nude Study and I’ve got a new sister. I am you, Nude, as you are me, and my lovers’ mouths have touched your pencil lips too, fluffy tongued, left a scuff on the paper; my renaissance in the curve of your thigh, the flick of your half-drawn hand, and there’s a fray in your lower left corner, hidden by the frame and, Nude, I am frayed there too, watching your waist and mine as a mirror my eyes looking back inside of your eyes, grayscale; greened.

Jenni McDermott

Edinburgh Air Windows steamed with warmth against ice-cold panes Frosted trees sprinkled with glimmers of sunshine And the winds whistle waywards shaking the leaves That lie along the mudded grass upon Calton Hill.

The window gazes out across the city streets A church stretched out against light grey skies And the castle watches above the cobbled streets below.

Taxis hurry past, bustling bodies craning their necks To hide their faces from the biting winds.

The weather is the sea -- fresh like water Tossed stranded seaweeds fall about Exhausted on the sand’s surface, The Portobello promenade paces alongside the beach As an old man runs his bright orange kite And the winds lick it up in the air As February holds Edinburgh.

Holly Suttle

The Courier

arts.23

Monday 29 February 2016

Book Review: The Luminaries Zofia Zwieglinska praises Eleanor Catton’s compelling novel whilst explaining why she believes this Christie-esque mystery is the best fictitious read of the year

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nfortunately I had not read any of the previous works by Eleanor Catton, and purchased the book on a whim (not half directed by the gloriously inky-blue cover), hoping for a book that would transport me away from the mundane act of studying.

The Luminaries is foremost a complex web of human relationships and intrigue, and secondly functions as a commentary on with wonderful descriptions of the 19th century New Zealand gold rush community. The excitement and ups-and-downs of the characters financial situations from the goldfields bring theatricality to the plot, which revolves (like the moon, again a cover reference) around 12 characters.

to the town of Hokitika, there is a sense of writing similar to those of Agatha Christie or Sherlock Holmes. This may seem like a far stretch for historical fiction, however the jumbled, misaligned, yet so clearly defined characters have every much as a big a role to play in this book as with, for example, with The Mysterious Affair at Styles.

Their conversations and inner thoughts are what make the book so interesting and ambitious. The

In fact, in the ‘note to the reader’ at the beginning of the book, the author mocks the current zodiacal system, saying that all signs are moved by one cycle forward, unlike what is now widely recognised. This attention to detail and historical backstory is what I personally found most thrilling in the book, as the characters (I aim to give no spoilers) do not amount to give the reader any kind of moral or intellectual lesson in the end, staying as wonderfully descriptive and wholly un-relatable to the modern reader as in the first page.

From the very first line, introducing the reader

“Their conversations and inner thoughts are what make the book so interesting and ambitious” Discovery Museum PREVIEW: DEATH AT DAWN

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his multi-award winning play is making a return. Noted for its passion, energy and sympathetic look back into the past, Death at Dawn is guaranteed to send the audience’s emotions soaring. It is based on the real life and death of a soldier from North Shields called William Hunter who was executed for desertion in France in 1916. The play will serve as a memorial for the 100th Anniversary of his death, a poignant and tragic event amongst the other hideous atrocities committed in WWI. Its controversial and fast-paced nature is certain to draw crowds of 16 year olds and (way way) up.

The actors will consist of locals around Hunter’s age and will spur on the pride of the North East for its artistic and historical rigour. The observance of justice, youth, bravery and cowardice is taken very seriously and cleverly, viewed with the sensitive perspective afforded by local loyalty. The Cloud Nine Theatre Company will perform Death at Dawn in association with the Northumbria World War One Commemoration Project. The play is written by Peter Mortimer, a confident and prolific playwright who has been closely involved in the North East’s literary scene for decades. After the sudden death of the play’s original director Jackie Fielding (a former actress on Coronation street) Neil Armstrong has taken up the mantel.

Death at Dawn is expected to be skilfully written, directed and acted due to the maelstrom of talent involved. The genuine interest shown by all contributors, alongside a story that must be told, will work to create a strong performance. I would highly recommend this to any History student worth their supper, and also any English student who has any taste at all to attend. It’s a second chance to see a renowned play that simply cannot be missed.

Tickets are available from the Discovery Museum, Newcastle Central Library or either of these websites: www.cloudninetheatre.co.uk or www. northumbriaworldwarone.co.uk.

Ticket Hotline No.: 0191 259 2743

Emily Wattom

Sunil Nambiar asks if there is an unfair stigma on particular art forms “The characters are all shifty as can be, and yet we love them in the same way that we love Poirot”

Northern Stage REVIEW: Get Carter

NUTS REVIEW: Company

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sually, I’m not fond of musicals, so trust me when I say that we have a talented bunch here at Newcastle University. The NUTS new production was fun, well paced, and brilliantly acted. Decoration was simple but effective, and perfectly set the mood. Together with the absolutely amazing band, it conveyed a message clear to everyone who entered the stage audience - you are no longer in Northern Stage, you are in New York.

Company is a story of Bobby who on his 35th birthday is still a bachelor. Together with his friends (five married couples) and three girlfriends, he contemplates his status and tries to remedy it.

The cast were all excellent actors, singers and dancers and sometimes it was hard to believe that we weren’t really in Broadway. Having said that, the highlight of the show was Amy’s (Rachel Smith) solo, and the funniest element of the play was the face of the conductor when she wrested the baton out of his hand and threw it at the audience. Joanne (Izzy Carlin) also deserves a mention as her blasé attitude towards everything including her own husband stole the hearts of the audience.

I realize that the screenplay is not original and the play is from the 70s, but the feminist in me can’t overlook the reinforcement of stereotypical gender roles and family values. As one of the actors said: “everyone has to marry somebody.” Just leave poor Bobby alone! He has devoted friends, great career, a few peculiar girlfriends and a nice apartment in New York. Do they need to force him into marriage? Also I believe that in modern productions we can find another things other than hysterical female characters that the humour can revolve around.

Now that I have it out of my system, forget that little ranting fragment. Company is a brilliant production and the songs will be stuck in my day for weeks to come.

Anna Jastrzembska

Contemporary vs Traditional Art

theatricality of the descriptions, as with the character of Mr. Moody whose “hair inclined to a tight curl; it had fallen in ringlets to his shoulders in his youth, but now he wore it close against his skull,

parted on the side and combed flat with a sweetsmelling pomade that darkened its golden hue to an oily brown”, resembles closely to the way Christie described Poirot when him and his famous ‘moustaches’ are first introduced. This old-fashioned style and attention to detail is what makes the gradually unravelling, tightly bound plot seem charming, and dated.

Yes of course, there is a murder, and the characters are all shifty as can be, and yet we love them in the same way that we love Poirot - for his affectations, and his complete seclusion from the real world. As we follow the characters around in the town, visiting neighbours, making deals and bargaining for their innocence, and gradually getting to the bottom of the gold nugget mysteries that brought them together, the storyline actually shortens, in the same way that the moon wanes as the time passes, and the account descriptions at the beginning of each chapter lengthen. This may seem like a strange way to write, to go from the most descriptive to a last chapter with only a few lines of dialogue, however it is still as enthralling a journey, even if it does seem to go the other way than it should. It may be very long, and thoroughly descriptive, however this has got to be the most compelling and exciting read of this year.

“This attention to detail and historical backstory is what I personally found most thrilling”

thecourieronline.co.uk/arts c2.arts@ncl.ac.uk | @CourierArts

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he Northern Stage’s production of Get Carter, which many will recognise from Michael Caine’s iconic turn in the 1971 movie, is a celebration of blunt, North East humour and 70’s gangster aesthetics. A tale of sex, violence and excess unfolds as mobster Jack Carter returns to Newcastle to investigate the mysterious circumstance of his brother’s untimely death.

Unlike Caine’s loveable rogue, Kevin Wathen’s performance casts Jack as a dislikeable figure, with his aggressive postures and ambiguous intentions for his bereaved niece Doreen. Likewise, Doreen proved to be quite a cardboard character, her inner turmoil wasn’t performed very sensitively; I didn’t even particularly feel for her in the torture scene!

But everyone in the audience thoroughly enjoyed the lurid and amoral humour which was rife with characters such as prostitute Margaret and the godfather figure Albert.

I thought that it was a brilliant dramatic decision to have the haunting apparition of the deceased brother Frank present in all the scenes, as it grounded Jack’s frequent extended monologues and was in keeping with the gritty, real tone of the play. The use of shadow to suggest Jack’s waiting lover on the end of the telephone line in London was another innovative move.

Set designers fully utilised the incredible breadth of Stage 1 to create an industrial brick and rubble backdrop which proved surprisingly adaptable as the actors were able to scramble all over it. I recognised the husky croons of local lass Nadine Shah in the production’s haunting music, and it turns out she’d reworked some of the songs of Newcastle band The Animals. I believe that the use of music in the play was a particular triumph, as Frank’s unpursued desire to be a jazz drummer is foregrounded and seamlessly soundtracks both the industrial open spaces, and seedy clubs and bars. Whilst the pace of Get Carter may have lulled at times, Jack and Frank’s ambivalent relationship was deftly explored and the production was technically superb.

Hannah Hughes

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ast October, sitting amidst fountains outside the Somerset House in central London were cast stainless steel sculptures by the contemporary artist Marc Quinn. He is the archetypal member of a group of contemporary artists called the YBAs (Young British Artists). This contains an artist who fashioned a figure formed of his newborn son’s placenta, a sculptor who moulded a self-portrait incorporating ten pints of blood and a painter who exhibited a canvas streaked entirely with excrement.

Quinn’s newest constructions - overlooking the Thames - melded the jagged elements of seashells with the grace of passing waves. Somerset House, the eighteenth-century project of Sir William Chambers, showed last year a union of traditional neoclassical architecture and contemporary artistic creation in its courtyard.

When considering art, I find myself relegated to the versatility of adjectives. Contemporary art has been called a number of things – shocking, lazy and self-centered, for example. Unlike the bold Van Gogh brush strokes that produced in his paintings a mix of madness and fantasy, or the nuanced Monet depictions of sunlight against still landscapes, the visual simplicity of modern art often engenders scepticism.

“Contemporary art, however, is centred on pluralism; it has no centre”

On a visit to the Tate Modern in London today, one would find Katherine Bernhardt’s 2015 painting ‘View Finders, Sharpies, Coffee, and Cigarettes’, a colourful spray-painted illustration resembling – perhaps intentionally – a child’s artwork. In the Baltic ‘39 in Newcastle, Cath Campbell’s recent ‘My mum was a beatnick/Canary yellow with royal blue’ installation took the form of open hardcovers spread out on six wheeled tables lined up on a sparse cement floor. Another contemporary art gallery, the White Cube in London, is home to Ellsworth Kelly’s 1986 ‘Dark Gray Panel’: a dark grey panel.

We are, it seems, past the age of grand brush strokes, of a preoccupation with detail and complexities in design. Perhaps a reflection of the present-day, there is an expediency surrounding contemporary art. This disrupts the expectations of the viewer, and moves us to question what it means to be an artist.

Traditional art tended to balance on a particular axis: Mesopotamian art, for example, was positioned on a warrior civilisation, ancient Egyptian art on the afterlife, and Edo art on classical literature. Contemporary art, however, is centred on pluralism; it has no centre. It may draw stimulus, then, from Rembrandt and Kate Moss, or Abanindranath Tagore and Instagram. There is no apparent particularity of style expected in newer art; it is grounded on multiplicity, a personal response unalike, shocking or sometimes, entirely familiar – think the unmade bed of Tracey Emin, or Ai Weiwei smashing a Han dynasty vase.

Different from the years it took the Paul Cézanne to paint the post-Impressionist ‘Mont Sainte-Victoire’ series, much of contemporary art has seen a displacement in focus on physical process. Instead, in newer art, there is a principal concentration on intellectual, more than aesthetic, projection by the artist. One misses the point, therefore, when newer artists are criticised – as they often are - for lack of tangible skill.

In the institutional premium placed on perceptible effort, aesthetic significance and historic depth, an appreciation of traditional art often comes naturally. But, a different and, yes, more contemporary frame of thought is needed to realise contemporary art. The openness of both realms of artistic expression may evoke inspiration through understanding in the observer – perhaps the basis of art in itself.

24.music

Monday 29 February 2016

The Courier

Music Editors: Jamie Shepherd, Dominique Daly & Connor McDonnell

Living La Vida Local Local lads Lucky Punks are currently taking the local scene by storm with their brand of indie-pop. Serena Bhardwaj gives us the low down and hears for the lads themselves

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ucky Punks’ is not a quite a household name but it wont be long until their LP is slotted in to every indie kid’s vinyl collection.

After their recent gig at ThinkTank supporting MONEY, I chatted to drummer Pizey who was still high…off the post gig buzz of course.

There’s no denying that the level of talent is incredibly high across the North East but Lucky Punks’ sound has a little something that makes them distinct. Addictive beats, infectious lyrics and hooking guitar riffs that tessellate around each other seem to make for a delectable selection of tracks. It seems as though the boys are all too aware of their rapidly increasing popularity.

The trio, who met at school and officially formed at university; have developed a sound which makes nods to the likes of The Kinks and Gorillaz whilst featuring Albarn-esque lyrics. Careful not to copy what’s already out there however, Lucky Punks have paved their own pathway in the industry through the use of strong vocals and innovative layering of instruments. Their lyrics contain witticisms and anecdotes that play on common scenarios that we can all relate to. The song that perhaps intrigues me the most is ‘My Friend Sam’, which is apparently about a transgender friend of the band.

It tackles an everyday scenario in a refreshingly light-hearted way without shying away from a controversial concept.

S: Okay so let’s start with the basic stuff… how would you describe Lucky Punks’ sound and where do you get your influences from?

P: New Wave, very poppy at the moment, kind of like 80s pop. We’re kind of going for Duran Duran. We’ve all got very different interests though; Tom loves Led Zepplin as I’m sure you’ll probably know…Ross is obviously very varied, I like Britpop stuff. But yeah, mainly poppy.

S: And you’ve just released a new song - ‘Sleeping Dogs’ right? How’s the reception to that been?

P: Really good actually! We’ve sent tracks out to people before not got much of a response but for this one we did. At the after party for the gig people were singing our songs, which was really cool for us.

S: What’s Newcastle like for an up and coming band?

P: At first I didn’t think the scene in Newcastle is that good, but then I tapped into the indie scene.

It’s fairly strong as well, there’s quite a few decent bands.

S: Yeah there are so many local bands, do you find there’s a lot of competition?

P: Yeah, there is. Although…it’s very obvious when someone’s not too good…not naming any names S: What kind of cheese would you say you guys are and why?

P: I’m gonna go for a baked camembert.

S: If you could create your dream festival, who would the three headliners be?

P: Well for Tom obviously Led Zeppelin. I’d love to see the Stones, maybe the Beatles; but they have so many tunes they’d never be able to please everyone. It’s a difficult one. Maybe Oasis actually, but from 1994.

Be sure to follow us on Spotify so you can have a little listen to local music and more at - https://play. spotify.com/user/thecourierdoesmusic

God Complex strikes again

Following his campaign with skating brand Supreme, Morrissey has spat his dummy out. Luke Acton examines this most recent Moz strop

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orrissey has publicly denounced his own Supreme ad in the Morrissey online fanzine True To You: ‘I apologize enormously for the enfeebled photograph of me issued this week by Supreme. The shot was taken in October 2015.

I considered the photograph to be fit only for a medical encyclopedia and I pleaded with Supreme not to use it.’ Supreme responded with a statement clarifying their association with the singer and the current situation: ‘Supreme repeatedly offered Morrissey three very reasonable options as a remedy to the impasse: 1) To do an entire re-shoot at Supreme’s sole expense, 2) To select one of the many options from the shoot with Terry Richardson [ that were offered to Morrissey, 3) To return the money that was paid to Morrissey by Supreme.

Morrissey repeatedly ignored all three options with no reason given as to why.’

The singer claims to have been upset with his modelling for the brand due to White Castle’s (a burger chain) ‘sponsorship’ of t-shirts in the brands 2015 release. The reaction is typical seeing as banning meat vendors at his gigs and saying that eating meat is as bad as paedophilia are regular Morrissey things to do. White Castle, however, did not pay Supreme to put their logo on their clothes, Supreme just put it on there for that I-work-herein-the-summer aesthetic, like people who buy Supreme clothes have summer jobs.

Supreme ten Neil and

having gotYo u n g L ou

Reed in the past to appear on their clothes, Morrissey is just the latest in this line of old white artists to appear on the brand’s shirts.

The conflict comes from his internal sensationalism and his delusion that he is still in his artistic prime. This, going with the way that he seems to not know how contracts or money works. A general lack of understanding that goes with wholesale decline. Not knowing that Supreme can’t just: ‘track it down and reclaim [their money]’ like Morrissey says in a recent follow-up statement. Also not knowing that he can’t get a lawyer to stop them from doing something that he signed a piece of paper saying that he agreed to.

Morrissey, you can’t just ask a grown-up to stop the distribution of something you don’t like: you’ve got to respect your legal obligations like a big boy.

“Morrissey, you can’t just ask a grown-up to stop the distribution of something you don’t like: you’ve got to respect your legal obligations like a big boy”

It’s the kind of position that you get yourself into when you decline so much, but your image of yourself doesn’t change, that you become a parody of yourself. I doubt the typical Supreme consumer has the faux-indie aspirations to even know who you are. You must just relax back into your sunset years and feel all of your cultural significance slowly: fade away.

It’s a good photograph of the singer, Terry Richardson is a good photographer. I don’t understand why Morrissey has to act this way.

“The conflict comes from his internal sensationalism and his delusion that he is still in his artistic prime”

Remembering Viola Beach

The music world collectively grieves over the loss of a real talent this week, after the tragic car crash which left all four members of Viola Beach and their manager Craid Tarry dead. Meg Long remembers the band

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t is difficult to hear ‘Swings and Waterslides’ with the same youthful joviality as the first time I heard it. The lyrics ‘I need you home’ striking grief amongst family and fans, the initial song’s youthful romance transformed by the tragedy.

Viola Beach were a band set to flourish with a flurry of festival dates and a support slot alongside Blossoms. With an epic potential the news that Viola Beach and their tour manager Craig Tarry had passed away due to a car crash in Sweden has a heightened sadness.

As a band they were so deserving of the platforms that were beginning to open up to them. The summery melodies laced with lyrics of girls and the future, ‘She said that together we would take on the world, and she told me I’d never find another girl like her’, the innocence of ’She told me that she loves a boy who knows how to sing so I learned how to sing’. Viola Beach released music so relatable to our generation. The feeling of being young and in love, confused by love, excited for what is ahead, acting ‘like a fool’ and making mistakes. Creating music that felt relevant to us. The ability to establish such a connection between themselves and a listener is a quality that set them apart from other indie bands on the cusp of success.

In a tribute to the band there is a campaign to get their song ‘Swings and Waterslides’ to number one. With support from The Stone Roses and Tim Burgess of The Charlatans there is a sense of melancholy to the campaign. To be recognised by such inspirational artists but through such tragedy.

Did they dream of gaining the recognition of such musical idols? They have now achieved it.

Blossoms have made their own tribute to Viola Beach at the tour that would have seen the two band perform on the same bill, stating on twitter that ‘’On every date of the tour they were due to join us on, we will mark their slot by playing a full audio recording of their set that was recorded from the Leamington Spa show’’. They went on to encourage fans to come along and ‘’celebrate their

lives with an outpouring of love: Dance, drink and sing along’’.

“With an epic potential the news that Viola Beach and their tour manager Craig Tarry had passed away due to a car crash in Sweden has a heightened sadness”

Perhaps this sums up how we should react to what has happened. Their music was about enjoying being young, declaring emotion and taking on life with ferocity. Their outlook on life is one we should all embody. Live your life to the full. You can hear this in their music and if this can live on through their fans then they have achieved surely what their music was always meant to achieve. The deaths of Viola Beach show that we can’t know what will happen to us but that means all the more we should seize opportunities, be with our friends and take full advantage of how amazing it is to be in our generation and where we are right now.

The Courier

music.25

Monday 29 February 2016

Painting With Animal Collective I

had very high hopes for Painting With when I chose to review it. I very much liked the idea of listening to ‘psychedelic pop’ and naively assumed that every single song would sound like Animal Collective’s previous hits, such as ‘My Girls,’ or ‘Leaf House.’ However, I was incorrect in this line of thought. In reality, Painting With is an album you feel you should respect because of its clear sophistication and of the many arduous studio hours it must have taken to create. But, to be quite frank, it’s extremely tiring to listen to and does not reward you for your efforts, since it doesn’t give you a chance to really appreciate any of its aspects because you’re too preoccupied with working out what the bloody hell is going on.

“The band cause the songs to suffer because of their annoying obsession with vocal technique”

Electronic Blanket

Portner (‘Avey Tare’) sing in a disorientating style of duet, where they alternate the syllables of words rather than the words themselves. This is clever!

Don’t get me wrong, and another aspect of the album that I can, once again, ‘have respect for,’ however, this does not compensate for or excuse the fact that it’s an absolute headache and must never be used again. What’s more, it is this technique that seems to be the leading catalyst in making the songs transition into chaos. It’s almost as if it’s egging the other instruments on and peer pressuring them into joining some sick cult, where they are brainwashed into thinking that this way of playing is audibly stimulating. Trust me you’ll know what I mean if you listen to the first minute of ‘Summing the Wretch.’

“Painting With is an album you feel you should respect because of its clear sophistication and of the many arduous studio hours it must have taken to create”

Sophie Ahmed gets in on exclusive Jesmond parties and local genre-bending DJs

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More than this nikki nack - tUnE-yArDs

tUnE-yArDs is the experimental of Merrill Garbus. I could have chosen any of the vibrant albums from Garbus under the name tUnEyArDs, but being released in 2014, nikki nack seemed the most appropriate. The energetic ‘Water Fountain’ is a fan favourite, and anybody who has played FIFA 2015 has definitely heard it.

The album features 12 rhythmically and harmonically complicated songs, many of which have their moments, for example the pre-choruses of the track ‘FloriDada’, the exciting Dinosaur-inspired first minute and a half of ‘HocusPocus’ or the drum and vocal call and response at the beginning of ‘The Burglars,’ however, on the whole these tracks just don’t really do the job.

Why might this be? Well for starters, none of the tracks have any consistency. Many seemingly start well and then proceed to descend into a repetitive chaos, e.g. ‘FloriDada,’ ‘Vertical,’ ‘On Delay’ or ‘Golden Gal,’ while the others actually begin in this chaotic state but manage to pull themselves back, e.g. ‘Bagels in Kiev,’ ‘Spilling Guts,’ ‘Summing the Wretch.’

Secondly, the band cause the songs to suffer because of their annoying obsession with vocal technique. Noah Lennox (‘Panda Bear’) and Dave

I’m sure that with in depth musical analysis of these chaotic periods that I refer to it would become clear to us that there is actually a lot more we can appreciate about them. Perhaps we’d even take pleasure from them, instead of passing them off as sounding like a lot of different instruments and vocal lines shoved on top of each other, in attempt to hopefully create a wonderfully harmonious final product. However, this isn’t listening to music for entertainment guys, its hypothetical musical analysis, nor is it catchy, which let’s be brutally honest is a crucial aspect of most good albums.

DJ-Kicks (!K7)

Hill’s End

At Hope’s Ravine

Moodymann

DMA’s

Holy Esque

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n January it was announced that Moodymann would be the first to curate the new DJ-Kicks mix of 2016. Following his 2014 self-released album Moodymann, I knew this year was off to a good start. Originating in 1995, with CJ Bolland the DJ-Kicks compilations have been dubbed ‘the most important DJ mix series ever’ by Mixmag, hosted in the past by the likes of Hot Chip, Four Tet and my all time favorite Nightmares On Wax. Moodymann creates the 51st entry, and of course does not disappoint.

Born as Kenny Dixon Jr , his 30-track mix explores genres of jazz, disco, techno and house and is reminiscent of his 20-year career and Detroit roots. Dixon is a man of mystery, often covering his face when he plays and this album expresses this, often reworking unknown and undiscovered disco and soul rather than the well-known classics in more recent DJ-Kicks compellations.

Dixon starts with the slow, sobering and soulful Yaw’s ‘Where Will You Be’, and moves to Beady Belle’s ‘When My Anger Starts To Cry’ which is infused with slow jazz and stagnant hip-hop, such as Dopeheads ‘Guttah Guttah’. He patiently builds up across the first 15 tracks before hitting us with some classic disco reworks. Examples of this come from the late Rodney Hunter’s mix of ‘Uptown Tricks’, originally brought to us by Fort Knox Five.

He slows it down with Jose Gonzalez’s ‘Remain’.

It is the mix of old and new and highs and lows that Moodymann does so well, he tells a story with his mixes infusing his ere of mystery that is both calming and disorientating whilst listening. Nothing got me dancing more on the album than the addition of ‘Disco Maniac’ by Tirogo, a short but amazing 70s classic that sums up the feel of this soulful DJ Kicks album.

Sarah-Kate O’Hare

Toby Livsey

ustralian trio DMA’s have finally followed up a series of singles and their self-titled EP with full length album, Hills End. A home recorded effort which has become highly anticipated in the months leading up to its release, their debut showcases all that has been making this band increasingly popular.

Beautifully simplistic guitar riffs, raw vocals and melodic peaks are recurrent features on the album, nostalgic characteristics indicative of DMA’s Britpop influences and their role in its spirited revival.

The album kicks off with the abrupt ‘Timeless’, Tommy O’Dell’s frustration an onslaught through aggressive vocals and an equally dynamic opening riff. ‘Lay Down’ takes a jangly shoegaze turn, its tone more yearning as Tommy sings ‘Shiver in the morning rain / my eyes they drift away with you’.

‘Delete’ is a heart-on-your-sleeve acoustic gem that takes the tempo down a notch: intimately crooned vocals atop a simple instrumental that builds for much of the track before its melodic last minute, the repeated ‘Let it all out’ an eruption of passion bringing it to a close. ‘In the Moment’ is the band’s most recently released single, a wistful contribution which explodes into an anthemic chorus reminiscent of the sunburst choruses of Oasis. This is the song on Hills End most alive with Britpop’s euphoria; they certainly wouldn’t appear out of place in 1990s Manchester.

‘So We Know’, ‘Straight Dimensions’ and ‘Blown Away’ are quite low-key offerings. Tommy’s raw voice resounds as seductively throughout, but fall flat on the harmonic front, the latter half of the album becoming tedious. ‘Step up the Morphine’ and ‘Melbourne’ are stand out tracks with gorgeous melancholy vocals and a spacy sound.

Hills End is a strong debut from a relatively new band. Invoking in its listener a sense of nostalgia for the album proves that DMA’s are ones to watch.

Bethany Hamer

Get To Heaven - Everything Everything

Everything Everything are famous for Johnathan Higgs’ impressive falsetto vocal style. He contorts his voice in to impossible positions.

Coincidently, ‘Distant Past’ is on FIFA 2016.

Perhaps a track from Animal Collective’s new album will appear on the 2017 title of the football video game, with unique vocalisations and dancy synth lines, which both the above albums share.

oly Esque are a band vulnerable to comparisons, like so many rising musicians that face journalistic scrutiny do. They deny any label to Franz Ferdinand, just because they’re also from Glasgow and have connections to the city’s School of Art. The comparisons to Wu Lyf seems more accurate, but are hackneyed and overused; just because of Pat Hynes’ husky, harrowing vocal style. These dull comparisons only come from the few EPS and singles, which have contributed to building their debut album, At Hope’s Ravine.

The album opens with the murmuring synth and embellishing grave drums of ‘Prism’. The tone on this first track sets the precedent for the intensity of At Hope’s Ravine: a weighty and twisted innerconflict. The album’s title seems to reflect a very personal retreat from an abstract gloom, in to the narrow corridor towards some sanguine end.

Early songs ‘Hexx’ is an energetic bluster (with a bizarre romantic montage video to accompany it), while the shadowy innards of the band are exorcised on ‘Covenant [(III)]’. Although the vocals are marvellously melodic, they sound intoxicated and are sometimes had to decipher, but the suppression of the vocals are illustrative of the album’s themes.

‘Tear’, Pat says, is “essential to the make-up of the band” and is the anchor for the two central themes of the album: “darkness vs light and hope.”

This track sees a turn towards strain, yet striving for settlement, away from the tortures of what came before. This is eloquated in the final two tracks, ‘St.’ and the finale ‘At Hope’s Ravine.’

For a debut, At Hope’s Ravine carries the vivacity that many newer bands promise, but do not deliver. And, finally, their sound is undeniably unique, please stop these unbearable comparisons.

Connor McDonnell

n this week’s Electronic Blanket, I’m sticking to my Newcastle roots of one and a half years and plugging the local student talent around the city.

Recently, I was privileged enough to receive an invitation to a very exclusive house party in Jesmond, and when I say exclusive I mean that they hired a bouncer on the door who had a very strict guest list.

The party was Part 2 of a series of blowouts labelled Operation Fern Avenue (I wasn’t cool enough at the time of Part 1), and its theme was Deep Sea Divers and Shipwreck Survivors.

I’ve lived in Jesmond for almost a year now so it seems crazy that this was the first party I’ve attended in the area with actual, physical DJs performing, as opposed to a standard Spotify-to-Bluetoothspeaker setup which is usually overpowered by the shouts of sloshed students. Obviously every DJs dream is to be hailed by a club crowd eventually, but you’ve got to start somewhere and nothing can beat the community vibe of a house party, especially one with limited numbers. Once the living room had been plastered with tin foil and various inflatable marine animals were hung from the ceiling, student DJs Vandnai and Shalom completed the process of converting a Fern Avenue property into an underwater rave. In such an intimate space which enabled interaction, the social sea between DJ and dancer was bridged and it felt less like they were there to do a job, and actually part of the party themselves.

You Need To Hear: Six Sunsets

There are so many local DJs in Newcastle which I hope I can tell you about whilst I’ve got free reign of this column, but I’m going to start with a pair that produce their own music: Six Sunsets. I’ve heard a lot of hype about this duo over the past year but ignored it due to hearing the phrase ‘Six Sunsets are fucking shite’ thrown about which led me into thinking they mustn’t be worth the listen.

Little did I know that this is actually the signature catchphrase that they came up with themselves, and not actually a review from disapproving listeners. I’m glad I realised this because their stuff is actually right up my street – it’s twisted and weighty with bass. Members Luke Chipping and Jake Nevens self-describe their sound better than I can, as ‘the bastard child of dubstep, breakbeat, hip-hop, UK Bass, dub, garage and hardcore all rolled into one mutant that its parents don’t really want to be seen with in public’. The Six Sunset guys themselves don’t have any problem with the public eye however, as they’ve been playing an increasing number of shows around Newcastle, including sets alongside Ivy Lab for Full Circle, and DJ Q and Benton at Shabba, two club nights at World HQ. Their first major vinyl release 6S001 is available for pre-order now so get ya hands on that.

Listen To: FCM002 – Six Sunsets (Full Circle Mix 002 on Soundcloud)

Preview: Nocturnal Nature presents Taiki Nulight, 22nd February, World Headquarters

As students in Newcastle, we’re spoilt for choice on club nights to attend and this often results in a lot of catastrophic clashes. However, far from complaining about the diversity of electronic music events, I’m going to inform you all of a fairly new night called Nocturnal Nature. This was launched in August 2015 as a weekly House and UK Urban Music night at The Cut, and following the success of this it’s now set to take the bigger venue of World HQ by storm. The guys who run the event are students at Northumbria, and have managed to book My Nu Leng collaborator Taiki Nulight as the headliner. This is just another example of students interested in electronic music working hard and achieving big things on the scene.

Go follow us on intagram for live gig updates, fun pictures and the latest music gossip- @courier_music

The Courier

musicfeatures.27

Monday 29 February 2016

At 19 years old Taylor Swift walked up to accept one of her first and biggest awards; Best Female Video at the VMA’s. That was until Kanye West stormed the stage and told the world that Beyoncé deserved the award more. It’s one thing to have someone say you shouldn’t have won; but it’s another to be compared to Beyoncé in front of the world. Fast-forward 7 years and Kanye West rises with a new album rapping: “I feel like me and Taylor might still have sex. Why? I made that bitch famous”.

It’s unfortunately becoming commonplace now for sexism in music. We hear it constantly through lyrics and yet we slam female artists for singing about their past relationships or ‘using’ them to sell records. We’re okay with men rapping about sex with women but not okay with women using their own sexuality in music.

Kanye West is just one of many examples of how misogynistic lyrics try and undercut a woman’s self worth, and it could have been easy for Taylor to lash out or create an argument over it but rather than posting around social media or releasing statements against the rapper of the same level, Swift takes an opportunity when she’s collecting her Grammy award for winning Best Album of the Year for the second time to deliver a powerful speech about her own success.

What started as a diss towards Taylor Swift’s success and person was turned into an opportunity to embrace and own her success, to show her class and passion and empower young women in a perfectly timed, elegant slap in the face to Kanye and all misogyny alike.

Rebecca Jackson

It shocked few to hear that Taylor Swift won the best album Grammy for 1989. Her golden statue came at the most opportune time after being caught up in a media storm with her favourite frenemy Kanye West. Taylor used her acceptance speech to send a not so subtle “clap back” at Kanye. Her speech was praised for being a great statement for women and she for being a feminist ambassador for the pop music industry, except it wasn’t and she isn’t.

The problem with Taylor Swift’s feminism is that it is one dimensional and limiting. She pulls out that label when it is cool to use, when it garners her acceptance, not when it’s hard and risks drops on the Billboard chart. She seems to be the one to yell FEMINISM for feminist’s sake while completely disregarding the hardships of all women, especially ones in marginalized groups.

Taylor often gets a pass because she is tall, pretty, and blonde. The basic things that she does often get labelled as exceptional, including her album 1989, are truthfully average at best. This also includes her speech. Swift’s diss would have been more powerful if she actually said something of substance, like what it has taken for her as a woman to get to two albums of the year in the industry and/or how women of all backgrounds behind the scenes still struggle to gain acceptance within it. What would have been truly gutsy is if she had called out Kanye and how artists like him continue to make money off of the objectification of women without issue.

The speech felt like was a missed opportunity to truly deliver a strong message about what she stands for as an artist and a woman.

Charisse Furlongue

Taylor Swift Since his sudden passing in early January, every ‘Starman’ from Lorde, Madonna and Annie Lennox has paid tribute to the rock legend, David Bowie. Expectations were high for the hectic megamix of Bowie anthems that Gaga was set to perform at this years Grammys. From her break into the pop world in 2008, Gaga has constantly reminded her audiences of where she gets the ideas for her avant garde performances, David Bowie being just one man out of many who have influenced the ‘Born this Way’ singer, so you would think that she would be able to honour his artistry well enough? Wrong.

Sporting neon orange hair, and what seemed to be an Elvis-inspired jumpsuit, she took to the stage charting a medley of hits from: ‘Changes’, ‘Fashion’, ‘Suffragette City’ and ‘Heroes’ complete with erratic dancing and bizarre ropeplaying. Produced by Nile Rodgers, whom Bowie had worked with on a number of occasions, the tribute came across as being laughable and ridiculous.

Bowie’s son, Duncan Jones took to twitter announcing that he wasn’t very impressed with Lady Gaga’s tribute to his father. Tweeting

“overexcited or irrational, typically as a result of infatuation or excessive enthusiasm; mentally confused” – the dictionary definition of the word ‘gaga’, has been interpreted as a sign of disapproval of the eccentric musical eulogy.

The singer has not only been slated for her poor homage to the late star, but also accused of exploiting the opportunity for her own commercial gain which left fans infuriated. Before and after the performance the technology firm

Bowie’s son, Duncan Jones took to twitter announcing that he wasn’t very impressed with Lady Gaga’s tribute to his father.

Tweeting “overexcited or irrational, typically as a result of infatuation or excessive enthusiasm; mentally confused”

Intel aired a commercial which in it saw Gaga preparing for the Grammys and discussing how the company’s impressive special effects were able to help her recreate Bowie’s famous Aladdin Sane look. Whilst being stunning and inventive, and possibly the best thing about Gaga’s performance; it seems that the Grammys was not the right time to air an advert about Gaga’s new techonolgical collaboration with Intel as it has left fans outraged and “disgusted”.

Throughout his career Bowie strived for the ridiculous. He was a master of re-invention and constantly pushed boundaries. He deserved more than Gaga’s badly sounding voice and wonky dance moves. This performance neither did Gaga or Mr Bowie justice, as it showed that Gaga simply doesn’t have the “Ziggy Stardust” that is needed in order to truly emulate her icon; but then again, who does?

Alesia Barnard

Lady Gaga does David Bowie

The 58th Grammy Awards With all the glitz and glamour of an awards ceremony there is always a few moments which rise about the glare of the red carpet and make us sit up and take notice, or at least have a good ol’ gab about the next day. So we’ve taken on three of this year’s Grammy’s biggest talking points. The good, the bad and the downright Bowie First off, let’s start with the basics. Kendrick keeps getting snubbed to hell and back at the Grammys. s. In 2014, M.A.A.D City lost Best Rap Album to Macklemore’s The Heist (is anyone still listening to that steaming pile?) and this year, of course, he lost out to Taylor Swift’s 1989.

The big question really is, who is going to be listening to Taylor Swift’s album in 10 years time? To Pimp a Butterfly is probably the best rap album, if not, the best album of the decade. It’s emotional, it’s political, and it’s incredibly important and to see Kendrick not get the kind of respect from The Grammys that he deserves is hard to stomach. Especially considering the fact he also lost song of the year to Ed Sheeran’s ‘Thinking Out Loud’. A song that is nearly two years old now.

There’s no justice there, in my opinion.

I think it’s helpful to establish that the Grammys have a serious problem with rap or hip-hop.

Outkast are the only artist related to the genre that have won album of the year, and it’s not like the Grammys haven’t had any good contenders.

Beyoncé got famously snubbed in place of Beck

Kendrick Lamar

last year (much to Kanye’s chagrin), and arguably, Kanye West’s best album Late Registration lost to U2. I don’t think I need to go on any further after that.

This is why I think Kendrick’s performance this year was even more important. It felt like he was calling out the Grammys for their distaste towards his genre, As well as, more importantly, condemning the countless injustices his ethnicity and culture have suffered over the past year at the hands of the American police. Kendrick and his band appeared first in a chain gang, dressed in prison blues, with their hands held high, as he roared into ‘The Blacker the Berry’. The social commentary was cutting, delivering powerful lines like “You hate my people, you want to terminate my culture” with confidence and poise. Kendrick then jumped straight into ‘Alright’ a song that has, since its release become seamlessly integrated with the Black Lives Matter movement, becoming a full-blown civil rights anthem.

His band transitioned from their prison garb as the lights dimmed and revealed that the performers were all painted head to toe in UV body paint, denoting traditional African tribal markings. It was recently revealed by Kendrick’s stylist that the female dancers were painted in red, inspired specifically by the Himba tribe in Northern Namibia, the body paint representing the colour of the earth and blood. The symbolism was all carefully crafted and, as a consequence of that, the performance was profound and empowering, and will probably be talked about much more than any of the winners on the night.

Jordon Oloman

28.filmfeatures

Monday 29 February 2016

The Courier

Film Editors: Emma Allsopp, Rhian Hunter & Simon Ramshaw

MEGA FAN Posters, promos and pretty pictures In a world where the art of the film poster is being lost to the Photoshopped rom-com, Imogen Scott-Chambers finds the best and brightest throughout the history of cinema

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GIANT CYNIC

With the Oscars closing in, it’s time to look at this year’s most unconventional Best Picture nominee: Mad Max: Fury Road. James McCoull and Errol Kerr engage in life-or-death vehicular combat as our mega fan and giant cynic respectively; will James find his Green Place, or will Errol send him to the gates of Valhalla?

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Mega Fan

truly good action film only comes about once in a lifetime - like a comet, or a world war, or seeing the bouncing DVD player icon slot right into the corner of the screen - and when it does we owe it to ourselves to appreciate it. Mad Max: Fury Road is that action film.

With rich, interesting characters who are fleshed out without compromising their abundant cool factor, stunts that would make Evil Kenevil flinch (and none of them faked, either) and the fucking Doof Warrior, there’s really no opposition to this. Fury Road is a two-hour adrenaline rush in the purest sense, but neatly dodges the vapidity of other films of its kind with fascinating themes and characters you can root for. It’s fun, fast, and thrilling, and I will smash down the doors of Valhalla with the skulls of anyone who says otherwise. Witness.

James McCoull

ovie posters have an interesting history; as time has elapsed they have developed from simple paintings of the main characters and action into elaborate and mysterious works of art which are stunningly visceral to view.

Looking back at iconic movie posters such as Hitchcock’s Vertigo, we see a more classical definition of art, it features a silhouette sketch of a man wearing a hat, unsteady on his feet surrounded by white lines forming circles with a striking orange background. The image serves as a metaphor for the film’s plot. It has become a recent phenomenon to try and recreate this style, with artists and fans creating movie posters focusing on an icon from the film, for example with Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy only features blue back ground with just the main character, Ron Burgundy’s iconic brown moustache in the centre. Similarly with Ghostbusters, the Ecto-1 car is enhanced on a plain black background.

Thus, creating artistic representations of the movies. Neverthless, aside from this trend, movie posters can still be pieces of art.

Last week saw the release of the latest movie poster for the highly anticipated HighRise, channelling

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“It’s more than just a gimmick; it’s a legitimate form of practice for actors”

Errol Kerr

“In Vertigo’s poster, we see a more classical definition of art” A more artistic genre, is superhero movies.

Sometimes we see a generic poster featuring all the characters in an action stance, Avengers Assemble, for instance, but for the same film, an artistic poster can be released. A prime example of this is Christopher Nolan’s Batman revival. All three films featured posters that could be deemed works of art. In particular, The Dark Knight released chilling posters highlighting the sinister Joker character.

One particular poster features a smile made out of blood and above it the words WHY SO SERIOUS, also in blood, with a faded outline of the joker character behind, as if he is behind some glass. This is a chilling and psychotic poster, which if presented as a piece of art work could be debated and discussed

Leng looks at other actor’s legendary commitment to their demanding roles

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won’t lie, I do like Mad Max: Fury Road.

However, I expected far more from the wonderful reboot of the franchise.

The storyline was set on the back foot for the purposes of action alone, with both our protagonists and antagonists seeming quite empty – Immortan Joe didn’t exist as more than a placeholder villain in Perspex body armour. I was more than pleased with the multitude of empowered female characters, however their varied personalities were not expanded upon, leaving me wanting more from the women I was given. Who was Furiosa’s mother? What power did the Many Mothers have?

What truly happened to the Green Place? We’ll never know. To top off, where’s the completely ridiculous bits? Where’s the Fury Road equivalent of Tina Turner turning up on your big screen as Aunty Entity, belting out We Don’t Need Another Hero? There isn’t one. Bring back Tina, George Miller.

at length – at its time of release, it probably was.

Similarly, Watchmen released posters to represent the main characters. For the character Rorshach the poster simply had a Rorshach test ink blot at the centre, the title Watchmen and release date. This is definitively arty, it gives very little about the film away, I expect only fans of the graphic novel even understood it but its visual bleakness give it artistic momentum.

There’s madness in the method With Leonardo DiCaprio closing in on his all-but-certain Oscar win, William ecently, you might have heard that Jared Leto, the man taking on the impossible task of inheriting the role of the Joker, sent his Suicide Squad cast-mates a dead pig. He had it hand delivered by his henchman. Prior to this he had sent co-star Margot Robbie a live rat. Will Smith went on to state publicly that he has never met Leto, explaining that the Oscarwinner was in character as the ‘Clown Prince of Crime’ throughout the entirety of filming. Out of context, this might seem like an absurdly pretentious thing to say. To suggest that your film is boasting an actor of such magnitude that he literally became his character is some claim.

Giant Cynic

the White Stripes’ ephemeral Seven Nation Army music video, it features large isosceles triangles perhaps emphasising the notion of rising to the top of the social pyramid and the people surrounding them represent characters from the film whom are part of this pyramid, with the main character Tom Hiddleston at the centre. The poster features block shapes, muted colours and real people to convey a mysterious message about the film.

Quite often, the degree of artistic flare in a movie poster, depends on the genre. With run-of-the mill romcoms we often see a photo of the main characters in a humorous situation. For example, The Bounty Hunter movie poster has Jennifer Anniston and Gerard Butler handcuffed together, and many other rom coms follow suit: The Proposal, Pretty Woman, No Strings Attached, the list goes on.

The current climate, though, is growing more and more accustomed to these kinds of things. It is all part of the marketing revolution that cinema is experiencing. The ‘method actor’ is just one of several channels through which films are striving for a social resonance which predates the release of the film and keeps people talking long after.

Star Wars: The Force Awakens saw virtual reality trailers which allowed a level of interactivity, Deadpool had Ryan Reynolds prancing around in costume to emphasise the character’s fourth-wallbreaking tendencies and The Revenant didn’t hit cinemas before the entire world had caught a whiff of DiCaprio’s bear rape rumour.

‘Method acting’ is more than just a gimmick or a rumour though, it is a legitimate form of practice for actors which sees them confront their own personal demons to familiarise themselves with the emotions of their characters. The practice was born primarily from the work of acting coach Lee Strasberg, who trained the likes of Paul Newman and Al Pacino. Plenty of modern thespians have since been known to adopt the method approach, from Marisa Tomei to Christian Bale to Daniel Day Lewis. A common misconception is that an actor is method just because he or she makes a drastic change to their aesthetic to get into character, or because they stay in character on set. It is more the case that method actors spend almost all of their time battling with themselves to maintain an emotionally precarious position that has potential to be dangerous.

“Method acting is all part of the marketing revolution that cinema is experiencing”

The most famous case of method acting is undoubtedly Heath Ledger’s role as the Joker in Christopher Nolan’s The Dark Knight.. As you will likely know, Ledger died from an overdose on prescription drugs prior to the films release. While Ledger had cited the role as making it difficult for him to sleep, his peers firmly denied playing the Joker had a hand directly in his passing. According to various sources, Ledger spent a month alone in a hotel room preparing for the role, totally immersing himself in the character. He went on

to win only the second posthumous acting Oscar ever. It is a legacy that Jared Leto now will have to contend with, one that I sincerely hope he is not trying to surpass b y delivering dead animals to co-stars.

The Courier

reviewsfilm.29

Monday 29 February 2016

thecourieronline.co.uk/film c2.film@ncl.ac.uk | @Courier_Film

Deadpool (15)

The Good, The Bad and The Ugly: Ryan Reynolds

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ll the super, none of the hero. In essence, Deadpool reminds us that sometimes we just need to stop taking things to seriously, and enjoy films, especially those of the heroic disposition, for what they are. It has been one of the most hotly anticipated Marvel movies for a while now, and largely because it seems to break the formulaic mould of storytelling that has resulted in often-simple CGI soaked moneymakers. Therein lies one of Deadpool’s fundamental flaws, and paradoxically perhaps it’s greatest strength - its desire to break the mould.

On one hand it’s refreshing to see the return of the fourth wall break. It almost gives a measure of relativity that helps the audience better empathise and understand the character. Unlike House of Cards however, Deadpool’s character uses the fourth wall break to drive the narrative, breaking the monotony of what is in essence a simple story. The simplicity of tale is part of the allure of the movie. Wade Wilson (Ryan Reynolds) has a life with few complaints, but then he faces a huge hurdle, tries to find a solution, changes, and tries to attain retribution.

In an effort to parody the twisting of this linear storyline, Deadpool breaks the character. In doing so however, it’s often undone by it’s own use of irony, parody and at times overly cheesy humour.

This would deter many, but the film balances this out with a host of meta references that’ll really have any audience in splits.

Ryan Reynolds portrays Deadpool in a way

Ryan is a man of many talents. Sexiest Man Alive 2010, Sexiest Dad Alive 2016. The living embodiment of Deadpool. I could go on, but there’s too much to say.

that made it seem like this role was his destiny.

The plot of the script lends itself to him, who essentially plays the same character, with or without the red-leather suit. His jabs are witty, his stunts breath-taking and his sense of comic timing is unparalleled by any hero of the Marvel franchise.

Moreover, Reynolds seems to have shed the ‘goodguy’ tag that he was unfortunately made to carry after the cringe-fest that was the Green Lantern.

Monera Baccarin is equally captivating as Reynolds’ love interest Vanessa: the palpable chemistry between both super-sarcastic figures represents a contrast in the flow of often lead-fueled violent comedy, reminding us of how a simple love story can provide the backbone of any successful hero flick.

If you are one of those die-hard fans that nitpicks at every deviation from the comics, this film may not be for you. Deadpool doesn’t amaze us with a strong story, but immerses us in the nonsensical nastiness and humour of the protagonist.

I can recommend it with a warning not to expect a typical superhero film, but a violent and cynical parody that stops at nothing (literally) to make us laugh.

The adaptation does everything right, emphasising Deadpool’s inherent humanity. While it’s not perfect, overall you can tell that this is a film by fans for fans and no soulless mass product.

More like this: Kick-Ass (2010)

Dirty Grandpa (15)

Pride and Prejudice and Zombies (15)

he Godfather Part II? Raging Bull? Nah, how about rape jokes, lad culture, and paedophilia? No? Funny, that seems to be what Dirty Grandpa think the kids are into nowadays.

Zac Efron and Robert De Niro look like the perfect comedic duo, the latter taking our High School Musical sweetheart on a sex-driven road trip to feel young again after the death of his wife. Yet what ensues is far from pleasant reminiscing through the family scrapbook.

As soon as the opening credits start, showcasing poorly photoshopped pictures of the main pair, it sets up the lacklustre tone for the rest of the film, somehow managing to make every character annoying, and taking one of cinema’s finest actors and making him a disturbing drug-obsessed nymphomaniac. It’s a bit like watching your grandparent get drunk at your cousin’s birthday party, and all you can do is helplessly watch as they tumble and vomit over everything whilst someone calls the ambulance.

Dark comedy has the potential for wide appeal in the hands of talented auteurs; and you’d think they could pull it off, coming from a director who was previously Sacha Baron Cohen’s wingman. But instead we get De Niro spouting racist, ableist, and homophobic slurs, the cameraman too busy zooming in on boobs and butts to pay attention to the ‘plot’. Congratulations truly have to be given to screenwriter John Philips, who crafted a script that would’ve taken Adam Sandler an army of his goons to recreate in all its atrocity. Drinking montages make up most of the running time, though even then the film overstays its misogynistic welcome.

I’d argue it was a ‘shame’ to see some of the actually funny lines have awful delivery, but Dirty Grandpa is the first film in a while to truly anger me, wasting the talents of good actors all for the sake of cashing in on the fuckboy iced gem demographic. Do the right thing – switch off its life support.

More like this: Jackass Presents: Bad Grandpa (2013) Zoë Godden

ver the years, there have been many film adaptations of Pride and Prejudice, but never one quite like this. Take Jane Austen’s much-lauded novel, and add an unhealthy sprinkling of the undead and there you have it – Pride and Prejudice and Zombies.

Based on the mashup novel that mixes Austen’s original manuscript with Seth Grahame-Smith’s addition of zombie subplots, the movie doesn’t quite have the bite you’d expect (even with the zombies). The film dithers between romance and hilarity, with the odd gruesome beheading of an undead being. The exclusion of the subplot in which Elizabeth Bennett’s best friend Charlotte succumbs to the zombie plague also seems ill-advised, as it would have added a depth to the adaptation.

The saving grace of the movie is its stellar cast.

Lily James is a feisty and formidable Elizabeth Bennett to Sam Riley’s brooding Darcy. Throw in an impressive fight sequence rife with sexual tension during the famous proposal scene and you almost wish Austen’s original Elizabeth was as much of a badass.

The supporting actors are just as brilliant; Charles Dance is a great Mr. Bennett, and Lena Headey a chillingly disdainful Lady Catherine de Bourgh (with an eye-patch to boot). Matt Smith provides the comic relief as a delightfully camp Parson Collins, and Douglas Booth steps into his usual role of the chiselled eye-candy, this time as Mr. Bingley.

Director Burr Steers never seems to figure out what he wants the film to be; it’s not gory enough to be a horror, not funny enough to be a comedy and romantic in the quirkiest way. But this adds to the film’s overall charm.

Don’t go and see the movie if you think Austen sacred. Don’t go if you’re a horror fan, or if you’re expecting a rom-com. But otherwise give it a go, because it’s ambitious as hell, ridiculous in the best possible way, and just buckets of fun.

How To Be Single (15)

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fter watching her captivating performance in Pitch Perfect 2, I was so psyched to see Rebel Wilson in another light-hearted comedy, not about acapella musicals but about How To Be Single. It stars Dakota Johnson who plays Alice, whom after suspending her four year relationship, attempts to embrace singlehood in the Big Apple.

Being absent from the dating pool for a while, she acquires dating tips from her boldly reckless newfound friend, Robin played by Rebel Wilson whose character is the absolute life of the party.

Alice’s older sister, Meg played by Leslie Mann, who was initially against anything to do with family life, gets pregnant through a sperm donor due to a change of heart. Then, there is Lucy, played by Alison Brie who frequents the bar below her house, is a subscriber of ten dating sites and uses mathematical formulas in a desperate attempt to find her true love.

This movie is your typical romantic comedy but definitely not on the top of your must-watch list; the type where the audience trail the protagonist on a soul-searching quest to discover herself and re-think love. However, one gripe that surfaced was that there are too many characters involved and the feeling that each character is trying to outshine each other and becoming slightly redundant as the movie progressed.

Just as the viewers are starting to get acquainted to the characters, the door shut in their faces, leaving them with very superficial understanding of each character. Nevertheless, it is a stress-reliever that will sufficiently entertain you for a good two hours as you chuckle at Alice and Robin’s not-sosmart antics at the bar and smile with satisfaction at how some of the relationships panned out in the end.

The moral that I got eventually was a good reminder to embrace single life as fully as possible – from this independence moulds a strong personality that is able to pilot new experiences of fulfilment.

More like this: Bridesmaids (2011) Amanda Yap

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Ritwik Sarkar

O

More like this: Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter (2012) Iqra Choudhry

The Good: Deadpool (2016)

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yan Reynolds IS Deadpool, just without the whole accelerated healing factor.

There is absolutely no question about it, and this meta-superhero romp proves it.

It is 108 minutes of pure shits and giggles, and Reynolds’ performance carries it all the way.

Whether he’s making off colour quips in costume or not, there is no doubt that he meets the mark, and it’s certainly the most comic-faithful superhero movie I’ve seen in years. He deserves a crisp high-five.

The Bad: Green Lantern (2011)

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ack in 2011, Reynolds portrayed the Hal Jordan Green Lantern when it was pretty much forced on to the silver screen in the midst of the ‘superhero boom’ that we still seem to be stuck in.

His ripped physique couldn’t save it though, and I thought his comedic style just did not fit the film.

Too much self-deprecating humour which would have been great for his true calling, but didn’t really slide shoulder to shoulder with other superhero heavyweights like Captain America or Thor.

Wrong guy for the job.

The Ugly: X-Men Origins: Wolverine (2009)

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hat a nightmare. After begging for a Deadpool film since 2003, Reynolds finally got his wish as a smaller role in a Wolverine spinoff, but he really shouldn’t have bothered.

A few wisecracks and swordplay couldn’t save him from a complete character assassination, in which some bozo at fox thought it would be cool to sew the Merc with a Mouth’s lips shut. It defeated the entire point of the character, and had him prancing around looking like a loon. Probably clumped a few years on to Deadpool’s release date.

Jordan Olomon

32.tvfeatures TV Editors: Jack Parker, Hannah Bunting & Helen Daly

24 (Jaegerbombs) Reece Hanson has assembled a 24 drinking game to help you while away the lonely hours You will need: A selection of wine and beers A lot of free time, ideally 24 hours

1. Drink whenever the time flashes on screen 2. Down your drink whenever Kim throws a strop. Seriously, get a grip!

3. Take a shot for each interrogation 4. Drink whenever anyone’s flip phone doesn’t work. Those were the days…

5. Drink each time Chloe is dragged into Jack’s schemes

Monday 29 February 2016

An Unhappy Ending With many hoping the return of Gilmore Girls to our screens will fix some of the frankly unsatisfying aspects of the show’s finale, Imogen Scott-Chambers looks back over the biggest let-downs in the recent history of television

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o feeling compares to the absolute devastation and disappointment of experiencing a bad TV show finale. After dedicating all your spare time to binging on a TV show, rejecting various offers for debaucherous nights out and yelling at your mum when she interrupts your TV time , you have an idea in your head of how a show should end – and when it doesn’t end that way, you feel nothing but hurt and dejected for days afterwards.

The graveyard of now finished TV shows is littered with baffling, boring and just plain bad endings.

To begin with, the unconventional and captivating Dexter (20062013) showcasing the life of a modern day Jekyll and Hyde. Michael C Hall plays Dexter, a Miami police forensic expert who in his spare time, acted

Just give me that treble vodka red bull 6. Shot whenever Edgar gets shot down. Poor guy!

7. Down your drink whenever Bauer gets information from a suspect through force 8. Down your drink every time CTU gets a new director 9. Down your drink for whenever a mole is discovered working within CTU. (Seriously, every season?)

The Courier

as a serial killer vigilante, dishing out justice to those who had escaped punishment for their crimes.

The character was both unlikeable and lovable, but in the end, the show went back on everything it had seemed to stand for. The season finale showed Dexter within reach of his happily ever after but when his sister is shot, he turns off the life support machine buries her at sea and fakes his own death declaring ‘I destroy everyone I love. I can’t let that happen to Hannah and Harrison. I have to protect them from me.’ Thus he gets no happy ending, no particularly sad ending and no comeuppance for his years of criminal activity. The series left so many

“In the end, the show went back on everything it had seemed to stand for”

unanswered questions and very little catharsis.

Another frustrating finale was How I Met Your Mother (2005-2014). The final season had been dedicated to the drama of Robin and Barney’s wedding, but 15 minutes into the finale, it was revealed that they were already divorced, leaving Robin free and single again. Furthermore, throughout the season we had seen Ted finally propose to Tracy and it was revealed that she was the mother of his children! However, in an overly sad and clever twist, it is revealed that she died 6 years ago, leaving Ted free to pursue Robin. After encouragement from his children, Ted appears

outside Robin’s flat, brandishing the iconic blue trumpet. For most fans, this was just too mushy.

Fans had spent years of their lives hoping, wishing, praying that Robin and Ted would end up together, to then in the final season settle on the fact that this would not be so and then in the last 3 minutes they had to adapt to the idea they had wanted all along. Ultimately, it left the series feeling flat.

With the exciting news of a Gilmore Girls revival, I think it is important to think about the finale. Of course fans were happy to see Luke and Lorelai reunited but we needed more. We needed to know if they would get married, would there be children? How would it work with April on the scene? Furthermore, seeing Rory single was an unpleasing end to one of the best romances of the whole series: her relationship with Logan. The ending had a bittersweet feel, it was abrupt, loose ends were not tied up and it seemed to lack some of the finesse of the other series.

So be careful next time you invest your very personal and precious time in a TV show, because the end may just leave you devastated and depressed.

The sad, sad reality of it all

In a picture special, TV Editor Jack Parker looks back at some of the worst reality TV shows to ever grace our screens - they’re so bad, they’re good

I can’t even remember why we fought last night 10. Shot whenever a character from an earlier season returns. Hello again Nina!

11. Down your drink whenever Jack kisses someone 12. Think Tony is dead? Take a shot!

13. Shot each time a main character dies. If it’s followed by a silent clock down your drink until it’s over.

14. Drink every time a CTU agent calls someone in the same office.

15. Shot each time the sun rises or sets completely in between episodes.

16. Shot every time Jack says ‘dammit’.

Britain’s Weirdest Council Houses

Channel 4’s latest reality TV jaunt shows just how much they are scraping the barrel when it comes to formats. The show focuses on what people have done to make their council houses weird and wacky. It’s actually quite absorbing once you get into it.

There’s not enough hours in the day to drink

Check out our website thecourieronline.co.uk/tv

The Simple Life

I Wanna Marry Harry

The Simple Life was one hot mess of a show, with Paris and Nicole trying their best to be normal people and do normal things. They failed miserably, and we couldn’t get enough of it.

This was probably one of the cruelest reality TV shows in a good few years. Some unlucky American women are transported to England to spend time courting a fake Prince Harry. The worst thing is how involved they get in it all.

Also, the show was pretty dire to watch anyway, it was panned on both sides of the pond.

The Courier

highlightstv.33

Monday 29th February 2016

thecourieronline.co.uk/tv c2.tv@ncl.ac.uk | @courier_tv

Tom Hiddleston is fit as fuck

With The Night Manager having already made its’ debut on our screens, Iqra Choudry examines why the show is so damn good

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ohn le Carré’s novels make for some great adaptations. From Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy to The Constant Gardener, from The Spy Who Came In From The Cold to A Most Wanted Man adaptations of the writer’s thrillers have made for gripping viewing. And BBC’s adaptation of le Carré’s The Night Manager, a six-part series promises to be something rather special.

The adaptation takes an axe to John le Carré’s original manuscript, chopping and changing the story for modern audiences. A notable change was swapping out the character of Mr. Burr, a stoic and stern middle-aged male lead investigator for a formidable and heavily pregnant female character (Mrs. Burr) instead. The original story, set in Central America over a quarter of a century ago, and centred on drug barons, is transported to the modern-day middle-east, with the bad guys indulging in the weapons trade.

In a recent Guardian article, John le Carré, who has previously expressed discontent with adaptations of his work, gave the BBC’s heavily edited series an enthusiastic stamp of approval. So – is the series going to be any good? Well, one episode in,

it would certainly seem so.

The casting alone makes The Night Manager an intriguing offering, with its line-up of some of Britain’s finest acting talent. Tom (intense-as-hell) Hiddleston plays the lead, Jonathan Pine, the ex-

“John le Carré, who has previously expressed discontent with adaptations of his work, gave the BBC’s heavily edited series an enthusiastic stamp of approval”

military not-so-clear-cut ‘good guy’. A night manager at a prestigious hotel in Cairo, he becomes privy to information about a weapons deal between a local rich-boy thug and ‘the worst man in the world’: Hugh Laurie’s devious villain, Richard Roper. Being the devastatingly good-looking lead that he is, Jonathan Pine can’t help but become en-

tangled (quite literally) with his source, said thug’s girlfriend, with the expected dire consequences.

Years down the line, he comes across Richard Roper again – this time in Switzerland, and takes some action (to assuage his guilty conscience, perhaps?).

Enter Elizabeth Debicki as Jed Marshall, Roper’s attractive arm candy and even before stripping off in front of everyone and later skinny dipping in the hotel pool, we all know how this is going to go. Forbidden fruit, anyone?

Enter Olivia Colman as Pine’s agent-runner, from a poorly-funded and obscure government intelligence agency, who harbours a particular grudge against Richard Roper. She and Tom Hollander, playing Corcoran, Roper’s right-hand man (with some brilliant one-liners and arguably the best lines under his belt), are brilliant supports to the two main acting heavyweights heading up the drama.

With David Farr’s masterful writing, a support cast to die for and a prime-time slot on TV, it seems I’ve found the perfect series to fill the void that War and Peace left.

Game of Loans It’s a cut-throat world on campus.

We’ve gathered the Game of Thrones quotes that best sum up your uni experience in one handy column

“Like I said, I was young and stupid” Harks back to that heady time in first year, when you were convinced that trebles, Digi, and 9am lectures were happy bedfellows

“Who doesn’t like to see their friends fail now and then?”

‘Friend’ is probably a strong word. This mainly applies to that smug git on your course who takes unseemly delight in telling you that they finished all of their essays before Christmas.

Family Guy

House of Cards

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8pm, Sky 1, Thursday

9pm, ITV2, Monday

Netflix, Friday

he latest trailer for season four of the critically acclaimed Netflix political drama, shows Frank (Kevin Spacey) and Claire Underwood (Robin Wright) at war following her decision to leave him in the season three finale, with the press release saying “In election year, the stakes are now higher, and the biggest threat they face is contending with each other”.

While seasons one and two were fun in seeing Frank manipulate, meddle and murder his way to the top, season three became somewhat of a hard slog with him as President and the deterioration of the Underwood’s’ previously strong marriage.

Despite the stellar levels of acting and stunning direction with the fantastic Lars Mikkelson as the cunning Russian President a definite highlight, it was the writing that deeply let the lacklustre season three down. Not to mention the tiresome sub-plots like Doug’s recovery as well as Remy and Jackie’s will-they-won’t-they relationship. However the final two episodes were excellent by propelling the show in a new, exciting direction. Hopefully season 4 will continue this momentum, having added Neve Campbell and Joel Kinnaman to the already tremendous cast. With the primary focus of this season being what will must definitely be a bloody war between Frank and Claire, expect acting masterclasses from both Spacey and Wright.

With an exciting plot, the usual fantastic cast and production I am optimistic that this could be the best season yet, in a surreal, fun yet somewhat scarily realistic look at American politics. If nothing else it’s worth watching it for brilliant fourthwall breaking asides from Frank.

Tom Shrimplin

DC Legends of Tomorrow

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F

amily Guy has a new home, now that BBC Three has moved online. The BBC wasn’t able to put Family Guy online, due to a smaller budget for the new online channel. Fortunately, ITV2 have picked the show up, which is great news for fellow Family Guy fans.

ITV2 are planning to air new episodes once a week, and then further classic episodes throughout the week. There was some worry that ITV2 would only show the most recent episodes, leaving viewers having to head to sky and watch old episodes on FOX. The face that it will still be on free-to-air TV is great news -especially for students, who can afford to have sky tv in their student house?

There is one bad thing though, Family Guy will now have adverts, meaning that you’ll have to sit through adverts just like viewers have to across the pond. It also means that you’ll no longer be able to get about three episodes watched in the space of an hour. Perhaps investing in a few box sets might be handy if you’re not too interested in seeing the latest episodes. Mind, you’ll be able to still sit down and enjoy a Family Guy binge.

It makes you wonder what the new BBC Three will fill its schedule with, after all, they did use the show to pad out their schedule EVERY NIGHT. Hopefully, ITV2 will come to do the same, and you’ll be able to watch wall-to-wall episodes, and a lot less of Keith Lemon and Celebrity Juice. Let’s just hope that Family Guy continues to be so freakin’ awesome, regardless of what channel it is being shown on.

eeding off of the momentum from the successful Flash and Arrow the CW launched DC’s Legends of Tomorrow, going some way in satisfying many a fanboy’s dream of a televised justice league - sort of.

With The Flash and Green Arrow assuming the roles usually occupied by Superman and Batman respectively, the show dances between both characters’ dynamics of hopeful and sombre, with ease.

The series focuses on time-travelling Rip Hunter, who has to recruit a rag-tag team of heroes and villains to help prevent an apocalypse that could impact not only Earth, but all of time.

From the offset, the show’s premise seems to intrigue many of DC’s fan boys, as the lead villain of the series is the immortal Vandal Savage. A cornerstone of DC’s league of antagonists, Savage is a hyper intelligent, force of nature.

The team contains the Flash’s Firestorm, former superman, Brandon Ruth, as Atom as well as Hawkgirl, in her native avatar as Sha’eera. In addition to Savage, the show brings the Prison Break duo of Dominic Purcell and Wentworth Miller as the crowd favourites Heat Wave and Captain Cold, after becoming fan favourites on The Flash.

With a good set of characters and some amazing actors, there is still the uncomfortable possibility that the CW is trying to punch above their weight. There are many fans who want nothing more than the show to be a roaring success, but with projects of this magnitude, tempered expectations are usually the best way to go.

Jack Parker

Ritwik Sakar

“Never forget who you are, for surely the world will not” Here’s looking at you, Sport Science students. Stay strong. You know that you’ll come in handy down at your local gym.

“The more people you love, the weaker you are” I weep to myself, thumb cramping from swiping through Tinder for two and a half hours.

34.gaming

Monday 29 February 2016

The Courier

Gaming Editors: Michael Hicks, Ollie Burton & James McCoull

Top 5 Comedy Games Jordan Oloman gives us his top games for a good laugh 5. Fallout New Vegas

Ah New Vegas. The best Fallout game. And the most hilarious. And the main character doesn’t even talk! New Vegas’ writing is second to none, and the wacky situations you can get into go from laughably charming to bat shit insane. This is a game that has a sex robot called FISTO, a military faction that can be boiled down to a bunch of LARPing Roman enthusiasts, and a group of grannies who beat you up with rolling pins. There’s also a pair of charred bodies outside a house in Nipton called Owen and Beru. Too soon.

4. Monkey Island If I wanted to, this article could simply be games made by Ron Gilbert and Tim Schafer, but I’ve done my best to sate my inner fanboy and give some alternatives. But you can’t make a list like this and not mention Monkey Island. The point and click adventure hasn’t got much going for it if it’s not funny, let’s be honest. There’s only so much you can do with a load of combining items, so the storytelling and wild humour in these games are what set it apart. You learn how to win a swashbuckling contest with insults, and how to stop an unlawful pirate wedding with a simple bottle of root beer.

That’s all that needs saying really, go play it!

Review: Super Pokémon Mystery Dungeon

Georgina Howlett heads back into the depths for another Pokémon adventure

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okémon Super Mystery Dungeon is the newest instalment in the best-selling Pokémon Mystery Dungeon series. Transformed into a Pokémon with no memory of your human life, over the course of the game you encounter hundreds of Pokémon, battle through countless dungeons, and ultimately try to save the world from destruction by joining the Expedition Society – a group of Pokémon dedicated to helping those in need.

Pokémon Super Mystery Dungeon takes full advantage of the 3D capabilities of the 3DS; its improved graphics and 3D depth view make the game world both visually appealing and enjoyable. The number of areas available to be explored is vast; various continents, as well as both core and unlockable dungeons, mean that you never run out of jobs to do, places to visit or Pokémon to talk to. The game boasts the ability to meet and recruit all 720 Pokémon through the use of the ‘connection orb’, a device perhaps intended to parallel the Pokédex from the main series of Pokémon games. A variety of new features have been added to the in-dungeon screens, including a hunger indicator and the ability to view a type-matching chart – new battle mechanics in the form of the L+ABXY move selection screen and the alliance attack ability make game-

play even more strategy-based, and with enemy typing now being displayed when attacked as well, it is arguable that the game has even been made easier to beat than its predecessors.

“Super Pokémon Mystery Dungeon is, in my opinion, a brilliant game. The mechanics are well-developed, the storyline gripping...”

That said, it does not mean that the game is easy to beat. With difficulty-ranked missions, increasingly powerful Pokémon in dungeons and tough boss battles, the story takes time and patience to conquer. It is not entirely unpredictable, but that does not stop it from being both heart-wrenchingly emotional and humorous. At several points players will find themselves laughing out loud at the simple humour and painful Pokémon puns (Farfetch’d saying ‘far-fetched’, for instance), crying at the friendships and connections between Pokémon (or is that just me?), and even holding their breath at what is going to happen next. Fans of the older games in the series will be delighted by the

many references to the previous storylines, as well as the return of well-loved features such as the personality quiz (which determines what Pokémon the player should be) and the definitive dungeon sound effects. Many of the characters from the previous games are also available to meet and recruit, including the infamous Team ACT from Red/Blue Rescue Team and the fellow Guild Pokémon from Explorers of Time/Darkness/Sky. Super Pokémon Mystery Dungeon is, in my opinion, a brilliant game. The mechanics are welldeveloped, the storyline gripping and emotionallyinvesting, and the graphics superb in quality. The external features of the game, including the Pelipper Island rescue function, the jukebox, and the rescue helper StreetPass exchange, all help to create a well-rounded experience for any Pokémon fan.

My only real criticisms are that much of the early game feels like one big tutorial, and the game as a whole feels like it is intended more for younger children – it may not appeal to everyone because of this, as the language and plot is quite simplistic.

Overall, however, I would highly recommend it to anyone who loves a good story and a good challenge – the developed story and post-game ensures that you will be kept involved and busy with the game for hours.

3. Dead Rising This feels like an alien addition to this list, but the Dead Rising series have been a source of much laughs for me. Whether it’s the combination of various household goods to create zombie murdering devices (my favourite being the gems + torch = lightsaber) or the psychotic mini-bosses littered across the Willamette mall (one of them has a weaponized shopping cart), there’s something for everyone in Capcom’s blatant commentary on asinine American culture.

2. Portal Portal will always stick in my mind whenever I think of comedy in games. It’s an amazing feat when you can mar unique, technologically ground breaking gameplay with minute by minute belly laughs. Portal is such a subtle level of humour too that just scratches the surface and gets you laughing when you least expect it. It amazes me still that there are no other visible characters in the game except GLaDOS at the end, which shows that all the team needed was some brilliant voice work and clever writing to make you laugh. A true feat.

1. Psychonauts Tim Schafer’s mind is an artistic enigma. The way he can inject humour into his worlds is just amazing, and Psychonauts has got to be his Magnum Opus. The game tackles quite serious mental issues, and deals with them in a charming, hysterical and thoughtful way. The characters are all wonderfully unique and each has their own developed backstory, which brings out a lot of humour when they bounce off of each other. You also wave bacon under your nose to make an old man pop out of your ear. Case closed.

Image; 4ChanSukzAss!

What I’m playing: Pokémon Picross Richard Liddle puzzles over this charming Pokemon spin-off from Nintendo

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intendo seems to have become fond of using Pokémon as the basis for its freeto-play offerings recently. First there were Pokémon Shuffle and Pokémon Rumble World, World and now we’ve been given Pokémon Picross, ross which mixes classic Picross puzzling with elements of everyone’s favourite critter-catching games. If you haven’t heard of Picross before, it’s a puzzle similar to Sudoku where you have to work out which squares in a grid you should fill in and which should be left blank according to clue numbers on each row and column. It’s hard to explain without a puzzle to hand, but the game does a good job of explaining it and by the time you’ve finished the five tutorial puzzles you’ll have a decent grasp of what to do.

After these tutorial puzzles, you’re introduced to the Pokémon elements of the game. Each subsequent puzzle forms a pixel-art picture of a Pokémon, and when you’ve successfully completed the puzzle you “catch” that Pokémon. Pokémon you’ve caught can then be used during other puzzles to help you along, with powers that can reveal filled-

in squares, show which rows and columns have confirmable spaces or correct any mistakes you’ve made.

It’s here where the free-to-play aspect creeps in; after using a Pokemon’s power it’s made unusable for anywhere between an hour to a day and a half.

If you want to skip this cooldown period you have to use Picrites, an in-game currency which you can either earn by completing challenges on each puzzle or buy with cold, hard cash. You also have an energy gauge which reduces with each block you fill in, with one point returning each minute and again with an option to instantly recharge it using Picrites.

Picrites are also required to open up new areas to unlock more puzzles. At first it’s easy enough to gather enough Picrites to unlock these areas, but by the third or fourth time you’ll hit a point where the only way to afford it is to stump up the cash for more Picrites or wait a few days to complete enough of the game’s daily challenges to earn them. These paywalls can be annoying if you want to carry on playing in long sessions, but ultimately

it’s still possible to play the whole game for free if you’re patient enough - which I guess is nice of Nintendo. Capitalism has clearly not entirely consumed them just yet.

There’s a surprising amount to complete too.

Each puzzle has three challenges, such as completing it within a time limit or only using certain Pokemon powers, which reward you either with Picrites or mural tiles. Each mural tile provides a puzzle in itself, with completed tiles gradually building pictures of Primal Kyogre and Primal Groudon.

There’s also an Alt-World mode which introduces harder puzzles with hint numbers that span multiple rows or columns (although this is again locked behind a sizeable paywall). Add to that the random daily appearance of Mythical Pokemon puzzles in each area and even without the long waits to amass Picrites it’d take even the most seasoned puzzler a long while to complete. Overall, Pokemon Picross is a fun, satisfying and often challenging puzzler marred slightly by progress-halting paywalls, but it’s definitely worth your time if you’re willing to be patient with it.

The Courier

gaming.35

Monday 29 February 2016

thecourieronline.co.uk @Courier_Gaming

Hardware Review: Nvidia Shield Portable

Club Trope-icana: Dumb NPCs Ollie Burton gives the low-down on Nvidia’s elusive handheld system The gaming world’s inane bystanders exposed and ridiculed

by Salman Ali Virk

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’ve been intrigued by the Nvidia Shield since its release, as having a high quality screen strapped to a proper dedicated controller is my idea of the perfect gaming portable. While not necessarily pocket-sized, I personally do not rely on excessively small or unobtrusive gadgets, as I travel around with a backpack virtually all the time anyway being a university student.

Let’s start with the design. The Shield basically consists of a gamepad with standard face buttons and dual-analog sticks attached to a clamshell screen. And what a screen. While admittedly it does bear a substandard resolution of 1280x720, I really don’t think it matters in the context of this device.

I love the general black and chrome aesthetic that Nvidia have chosen to run with, and it feels incredibly sturdy and well-built. The top of the device is consumed by the panel and controls, while on the rear you’ll find a microusb connector for charging and a miniHDMI port for output to a larger display such as a hotel room TV, at which point full 1080p output is supported. This is also accompanied by a standard 3.5mm headphone jack.

That said, it needs to do more than just look

pretty - so what is the Nvidia Shield actually for?

Well, it can act as a multimedia platform just like any other android device, stream from YouTube, Netflix and the like and browse the web, although this is admittedly slightly tricky because of the layout. But obviously the Shield is built from the ground up for gaming, packing a Tegra K4 processor which provides plenty of power. Emulators run like a dream on this thing, and anything up to the PSP era will run flawlessly.

“I love the general black and chrome aesthetic that Nvidia have chosen to run with...”

However, the aspect that drew me to this device above all others was PC game streaming. This will only work for more modern Nvidia graphics cards, so a team green exclusive, but my god, what more could you ask for as a gamer on the go? Assuming a decent WiFi connection, I can access my powerful desktop PC and summon my Steam library wherever I am. This means I can play full blown

Memory Card: Danganronpa: Trigger Happy Havoc Michael Hicks schools us on one of the coolest visual novels around

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he visual novel genre has undergone a bit of a renaissance recently, especially with the unprecedented success they’ve found on Steam. One of my favourite visual novels, Danganronpa: Trigger Happy Havoc, was just released on Steam to rave reviews, so there’s no better time than the present to take a look back at the first game in the beloved cult series.

You play as Makoto Naegi, beaming ear to ear as he takes his first steps towards the prestigious Hope’s Peak Academy, a school that admits only the most talented “Ultimate” students within their ranks. As far as ordinary high school students go, Makoto is a particularly ordinary one; he got his chance to enrol when he is christened the “Ultimate Lucky Student” when he wins a raffle.

However, when he steps through the school gate, he quickly finds that his luck has run out. He blacks out on the school steps, only to come to in the school’s gymnasium surrounded by the fourteen “Ultimate” students who make up his new classmates. No one has any idea what’s going on apart from one thing: they’re trapped.

“Danganronpa is definitely one of the more interesting games I’ve played.”

Here’s when things get really weird. The remotecontrolled Monokuma, a literal two-faced monstrous teddy bear with a twisted love for rules, drops one hell a bombshell. All of the students are now imprisoned within Hope’s Peak’s walls for the rest of their lives. And the only way out? To murder a fellow student without being caught.

Of course, there wouldn’t be much of a story if some of the students didn’t eventually succumb to Monokuma’s despair-inducing words. Before then, you can explore the school from a first-person perspective, similar to the investigation segments from Capcom’s Ace Attorney series. The goal is to explore the school: gathering information; talking to students or even just to hang out.

Speaking of hanging out, another major part of Danganronpa are the ‘free-time’ segments, which allow Makoto to talk to fellow students, learning of their life stories and building stronger relationships. These play out very similarly to Persona’s

Social Links, in that you can choose to spend your time with whoever you want. To speed the whole making friends thing up, you can buy gifts from the vending machine for your fellow students. This cool little feature also brings gameplay benefits, as they unlock skills that Makoto can use in the game’s centrepiece: the Class Trials.

The trials start off with an investigation segment in which you gather clues and evidence to use as ‘Truth Bullets’, used to literally shoot down arguments. The trials work very similarly to those in Ace Attorney, albeit with some major differences.

The first is that the trials are timed, and the second being a variety of mini-games to keep things varied; ranging from rhythm-based arguments to 3D platforming sections. The trials are also very fastpaced, keeping things very interesting.

Danganronpa is definitely one of the more interesting games I’ve played. A hyper-stylised mudermystery story with an especially interesting and humourous cast, contrasted with an incredibly dark and mature story which occasionally takes a turn for the disturbing. It’s a weird little combination of Persona and Ace Attorney that fans of adventure and visual novel fans should definitely check out to see ‘whodunnit’.

titles like Dark Souls and Tomb Raider on a portable! And even better, through a bit of technical jiggery-pokery you can get not only PS3 and PS4 remote streaming through the Nvidia Shield, but PS2 and Gamecube emulation on the go as well, with your home PC doing all the actual emulation horsework. That’s right: portable Bloodborne. Now obviously it can be pointed out that a gaming laptop for example provides this same experience for the most part, but remember the form factor we’re talking about here, and the Shield becomes very competitive.

The impressive 28.8Wh battery will net you around 6 hours of continuous local gameplay or 10 hours of streaming, although obviously your mileage will vary depending on exactly what you use your Shield to do. I was very close to making the move to the Playstation Vita, but general lack of support and similar controls to the cramped PSP ultimately made me trump for the Nvidia Shield, and I’m so pleased I did. It’s a marvellous device, still pretty expensive and somewhat hard to find, but definitely worth it.

Talkin’ ‘bout next generation Zoë Godden analyses a never-before seen Pokémon!

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t’s been just over two years since X and Y were released for the 3DS, yet Game Freak are already teasing us with more and more Generation VII details. It’s almost unheard of that new leaks for the franchise would come anywhere other than CoroCoro Magazine, and March’s issue was no exception. After a teaser trailer for the cover reveal hit the web, the pages of the popular Japanese publication were soon uploaded in all of their scanned glory, revealing the upcoming new movie, Volcanion and the ingenious Magiana.

Magiana/Magearna (a possible combination of the Japanese words for ‘gear’ and ‘machina’) joins not only the long line of pocket monsters designed to resemble a Poké Ball, but is also supposedly ‘made by human hands’ over 500 years ago, thus adding to the select club of artificial manmade Pokémon, such as Castform, Porygon, and of course the legendary Mewtwo. Its design and colour palette are however noticeably similar to Diancie, the Rock/Fairy type released as a GAME exclusive back in 2014.

“Munchlax was unveiled two whole years before Diamond and Pearl’s release...”

The plot summary of the new movie likewise gives hints that Magearna could be another Legendary, stating that Volcanion hunts them down in search of its ‘secret.’ This is widely presumed to refer to Magearna’s other forms, which could be a lot of fun both aesthetically and gameplay-wise considering it appears to be, alongside Klefki and Mawile, a Fairy/Steel type.

With Pokémon’s 20th anniversary just around the corner, it’s certain that more Generation VII designs and plot details will bombard us in the near future. Best not hold your hopes up though – Munchlax was unveiled two whole years before Diamond and Pearl’s release, so don’t let Magearna’s reveal make you dust off your 3DS anytime soon.

PCs (non-playable characters) are not known for their intelligence, but they make the worlds of gaming feel much more alive. However, they must be held accountable for a lot of bizarre behaviour like letting the stalwart hero of the land walk into their house and steal their stuff. Usually it’s easy to forget, as gamers have grown used to them over the years.

It all makes sense once you stop and pay attention to their activities and realize how absurd their behaviours are.

For some weird reason, NPCs don’t seem to care much about who reads their diaries or where they usually end up. It’s not absurd when players have to seek out pages of diary or journals when they are on a sidequest or it might be part of a certain mission, or in other cases it helps players understand the game’s plot. It gets weird when we find such pages on top of a roof, in the hands of a corpse or stashed in flowerpots. Plus, we’re not talking about materials written by the recently diseased; often such material is written by a character who is alive and well but aren’t concerned that their secrets, confessions or safe combination are being read by total strangers. I mean how unsettling is that?

Witnessing a crime like assault or murder can be a traumatic experience: it’s something that sticks with a person forever and some never truly recover. That doesn’t seem to be the case for NPCs as they most likely forget such offences committed right in front of the faces while the offender is still staring straight in theirs.

“It’s not absurd when players have to seek out pages of a diary... it gets weird when we find them on top of a roof ”

Many NPCs who see the protagonist trespass into restricted areas, steal something valuable, assault someone or maybe assassinate a VIP will completely forget if the offender hides in a dark corner and avoid the guards for a minute or two. In Assassin’s Creed you just tear off your wanted posters and all will be forgiven and forgotten. Your average citizen seems to have a short-term memory that would make a goldfish laugh.

NPCs oddly trust any stranger with an important job before they even shake hands. For any sane person this would be completely mad, but they have no issues with trusting the first guy they meet with recovering the stolen relic or saving their beloved relative/pet/other here. Why does your average NPC do this? I mean, what’s stopping us from stealing or using what they’ve lost for our own purpose and doing something equally terrible?

Love them or hate them, NPCs add a valuable layer of depth to our favourite games. After a tiring mission in Grand Theft Auto, it’s always nice to kick back and relax; immersing yourself in the weird and wacky world of the average virtual joe.

Don’t worry , they’ll five minutesforget in

The Courier

Monday 29 February 2016

sciencefeature.37

LIGO making waves in science

Recent astronomical discoveries shook the world of science. We investigate the gravity of the situation.

What’s a Gravitational Wave when it’s at home?

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n 1916 Albert Einstein predicted the existence of gravitational waves in his general theory of relativity and now 100 years later scientists have proved this theory through the discovery of gravitational waves. But what are gravitational waves? The simplest explanation is that they are ripples in the space-time created by objects of a super heavy mass that influence the surrounding area of space. Those ripples contain gravitational information about the original source of mass.

In order to understand the scientists’ discovery properly, we need to take a closer look at the waves and to do that, we have to travel back to the creation of the universe itself – The Big Bang. In that moment an infinite number of minute particles smaller than an atom were scattered across the universe. Imagine these particles as floating in an unhindered straight line on the wind, with the wind representing space-time. A problem: the particles are suddenly blocked by an object, let’s say a star. The particles can’t go through the star so they have to go around it, helped by the push of the star’s gravity, and thus the once calm spacetime has now been altered.

So if gravitational waves have existed since the universe’s beginning why have scientist only now been able to detect them?

Now, let’s imagine space-time is a lake and the star a stone that has been dropped into the centre.

Ripples are formed in the water. At the centre of the lake, the ripples are large and clearly defined but at the shore’s edge, the ripples can no longer

be seen. Earth is standing on the shore of that lake, guessing that something has just happened but being unable to prove it. What if that star was no ordinary star but a supernova or perhaps even a binary pulsar (two dense stars in orbit around each other)? Drop a boulder into the lake and the large ripples are much more likely to survive the distance to the shore. It’s not so much the size needed but the power and energy the source mass produces that creates gravitational waves capable of reaching and been seen by people on Earth.

The first indirect proof that the waves existed came in 1974 when astronomers at the Arecibo Radio Observatory discovered a binary pulsar.

They believed the stars’ weight and close orbit would be enough to affect the gravity of the other and produce gravitational waves. 8 years later they found the stars were now closer with faster orbits and had moved at the rate predicted by Einstein’s general relativity. A further 40 years of observations produced more proof towards Einstein’s theory.

The latest proof comes from the team at Advanced LIGO (Laser Interferometer GravitationalWave Observatory). Using the most sophisticated detector in the world, physicists discovered two colliding black holes 1.3 billion light years away from Earth. The physicists believe they have evidence showing the most destructive phenomenon in the universe producing gravitational waves.

And why are scientists so excited by this discovery? Apart from proving that was Einstein correct about gravitational waves? Well, Einstein also

stated that nothing is created or destroyed, only changed.

Remember the particles created by The Big Bang? They haven’t been destroyed. They’re still out there riding gravitational waves throughout the universe. The waves that scientists can now detect could contain information about the origin of the universe. Who knows what they will tell us?

Miriam Atkinson

What’s all the fuss about?

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What has Einstein predicted, that others proved?

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instein was a master of Gedankenexperiment. It was what allowed him to formulate his greatest ideas. Though it sounds complicated, or even mysterious, it was actually quite simple; he used his imagination.

Gedankenexperiment, was what Einstein referred to as thought experiments, his novel approach of using his imagination to visualise hypothetical experiments that he would later translate in to mathematical equations. From riding a beam of light that would propel him to his theory of special relativity, to imagining a falling elevator from which he would conveniently alight on the floor that stocks theories of general relativity.

For over a 100 years now scientists have been devising ways to test Einstein’s postulations. In 1919 astronomers Sir Frank Dyson and Arthur Eddington journeyed to the island of Principle, to test Einstein’s general relativity predictions that light would bend around a massive object as a result of its gravity field. They devised an experiment to see if a distant star that was blocked by our Sun could sbe seen on Earth due to this distortion, but as the Sun outshines its distant cousins this prevented distortions from being observed. To overcome this, Dyson planned to conduct his experiment on the next total solar eclipse. In search of the best location to observe the eclipse they got to Principle, an which would be cast in to darkness for almost seven full minutes - providing time to complete their experiment. It rained for the nineteen days leading up to the eclipse, and when the

moment finally arrived the spectacle was obscured by cloud cover, for all but ten seconds. It was enough time to the get the photograph they needed. The results corresponded with Einstein’s predictions and revolutionised the world of physics.

Irvin Shapiro noticed in 1964 that light can take more time to travel in space as it passes through gravitational fields. By bouncing radar signals off Venus and Mercury and measuring the time it took for those signal to return to Earth it was proven that the signals slowed if they passed near the sun. Shapiro later confided he’d hoped to prove Einstein wrong, but the Shapiro effect - as its now known - only confirmed more of his theories.

The principle of equivalence was an aspect of Einstein’s theories that gave rise to numerous experiments. NASA launched Gravity Probe-A in to space on 18 June 1976 to test Einstein’s prediction that time progresses at different rates depending on the strength of gravity, with the difference referred to as redshift. Onboard the shuttle was an immensely precise clock. In space for less than two hours, it successfully recorded measurements that showed that the passage of time did speed up whilst in space.

Einstein’s ‘twin paradox’ confounds notions of time once again by using his special theory of relativity to propose a hypothetical time dilation scenario with a set of twins. This particular thought experiment imagined a set of twins, one of which hops on a rocket travelling at almost the speed of light to do a spot of interstellar sightseeing. When they return to Earth the sibling that remained is

markedly older than the one that got on the rocket.

This is because time is not singular, but depends upon the observer and their motion. In 1971 Joseph Hafele and Richard Keating set out to test this theory in luxurious style, by flying first class around the world with their atomic clocks in tow.

They completed two flights, once in either direction around the world, then compared the results. Although they didn’t meet up with an older colleague, their evidence did indicate deviations in time.

Gravitational lens has proved another invaluable prediction by Einstein that has not only been tested but is also allowing scientists to peer over 9 billion years in to the past. As light is deflected from distant objects, it intensifies and can be used as both a looking glass to view far away galaxies and to measure their mass.

Gravity Probe-B, the aptly named older brother of NASA’s earlier probe, was sent in to space on 20 April 2004 to test if the way Earth’s mass is affecting the fabric of space-time corresponding with Einstein’s postulations. It measured the geodetic effect - how the Earth is warping its local space-time - and revealed the presence on frame dragging - a process where the rotation of massive objects drags local space-time along with them - all of which was predicted by Einstein. Reporting the results from NASA headquarters in Washington D.C. physicist Francis Everitt proudly declared that “Einstein survives!”

Christopher Little

instein predicted the existence of gravitational waves almost one hundred years ago. However, until recently they were just a theory.

Research from the LIGO (laser interfermotere gravitational-wave observatory) suggests that they are in fact a reality. But what are gravitational waves and why are they so important? Gravitational waves are distortions in the fabric of space. They are like ripples in a pond that are created by the collision of two massive objects, such as black holes.

Their discovery is important as they provide further evidence for Einstein’s theory of general relativity. They also allow scientists to view the universe in a completely new way. Scientists can use telescopes to view stars in different galaxies many millions of light years away.

However, this is only possible if there are no objects between the telescope and the object.

If dust, planets, other stars or even galaxies are in front of the object that the scientists wish to view they cannot detect it. Gravitational waves are a useful tool because unlike light, x-rays or infrared, they can travel through these objects.

The information they contain will be free of any distortions or changes as the waves travel unhindered and do not react with other objects. Because of this gravitational waves may contain information about the nature of space and time and even very start of the universe, the big bang.

Gravitational waves allow scientists to view situations of strong gravity, i.e. information about massive objects.

Previously scientists were only able to make inferences about these from weak gravitational reactions, such as planet’s orbiting stars.

The waves can also be used to detect and inform researchers about some of the extremes of the universe.

Matthew Byrne

38.science&technology

Monday 29 February 2015

The Courier

Science Editors: Anna Jastrzembska, Louise Bingham, & Iqra Choudhry

The science of super-humans With Deadpool crashing box offices, there is no denying our fascination with super-humans. Ollie Burton investigates how scientifically close we are to reproducing the superheroes we ardently admire on the big screen.

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hildren have been growing up with superhero stories and comics since the 1930s, and even 80 years later they still succeed in capturing our wildest imaginations. But what if these tales of wonder and superhuman feats were rapidly becoming possible? We live in a time where bioengineering and biomechanics are evolving exponentially – so how close are we?

Let’s start with something simple – incredible strength. While we are currently unable to directly bolster our innate biological strength capacity, powered exoskeletons are pretty close. Essentially a mechanical suit fits over the body of the user, and complex systems of hydraulics and servos allow users to carry much

more t h a n would be normally possible.

One of the main proposed uses is within the military – soldiers could lift loads up to 300kg while running, or wield

weapons that would normally need to be stationary or mounted to a mobile platform. Such systems are also currently in use to augment the walking ability of disabled users, featuring powered hip and

“While we are currently unable to directly bolster our innate biological strength capacity, powered exoskeletons are pretty close” knee motion.

Another burgeoning field of study is nanorobotics – nanobots are tiny machines on the extraordinarily small scale of nanometres – 1nm is about ten times the diameter of a single helium atom.

The theory goes that thousands of these tiny entities could work together to repair tissues far faster than the human body would usually allow, or even augment a physical form to be more resistant to a particular environmental stress.

While this admittedly sounds like future-fantasy nonsense, we are in the midst of a ‘nanotechnology race’, as the world’s nations strive to successfully create working nanobots first. However, many scientists are worried about the possible ‘grey goo’ doomsday scenario – endless self-replicating tiny machines deconstructing their environment to build more of themselves in an ecophagious orgy.

There exists a rather large m o v e ment in the world today known as t r a n s hu m a n i s m – those that seek to enhance our comparatively fragile and squishy organic bodies via cybernetic augmentation.

While we’re still a distance from chest-mounted laser cannons and the like, very small steps are being taken. Subdermal implants containing microprocessors are very much possible, and recently Australian scientists began trials of the world’s first ever bionic fully implantable eye.

The Phoenix99, as it is called, aims to restore sight to those afflicted by macular degeneration and Retinitis Pigmentosa, one of the leading causes of blindness in young people, by neural stimulation.

If the device works as planned, it could restore sight to around 200 million people across the world.

Invisibility is something I’ve always felt had limited applications beyond spying, but obviously spying being what i t is, it has receive d inordinate amounts of military funding.

While many different outfits have chased this holy grail of technologies, the overarching principle seems to be the same – use complex interspersed reflective materials to effectively ‘bend’ light around the object

you wish to conceal. However, we are still searching for a way to hide an object in motion – as soon as this hidden element began to move, distortions

“While we’re still a distance from chest-mounted laser cannons and the like, very small steps are being taken” become clearly visible and the illusion is magnificently ruined.

Finally, the big one – flight. Humans have long-envied the abilities of our avian comrades to soar on the winds and forget our comparatively slow and inefficient bipedal travel. Right at the very end of 2015 we saw the development of the world’s first ‘true’ jetpack – a backpack that provides self-powered flight, with a climb rate of 500ft/minute, and can reportedly provide ten minutes of flight with a peak speed of over 200km/hour. Of course it will be a very long time before gadgets like this ever reach the mass market, and even then I’m sure there will be a speed limit slapped over the skies of New York.

Thanks Obama. Even so, leaving behind the shackles of terranean transport and joining the world of the pigeons will truly be an epic moment for mankind.

We’re getting there. On a personal note, I would ask you to consider the social ramifications that face us on the widespread availability of ‘superhuman’ abilities. Social inequality will inevitably get much worse, and the human moral landscape may be forever altered as the playing field becomes more uneven than any time in history.

Cracking the code to science equality Why do we see science&tech as men’s world? Anna Jastrzembska dicusses gender injustice and stereotypes in science

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et’s face the facts. Science and, especially, technology, are still widely seen as “male” industries. Yes, you can argue that there are quite a few girls doing Bio Med or Physical Geography. Is it still true though in case of Engineering or Computer Sciences? Don’t take out the statistics. Consider who you think to be a typical BSc student, or, better yet, a typical engineer. See what I mean? I’m not talking about statistics, I’m talking about stereotypes.

“While we might be slowly moving towards closing other aspects of gender inequality, girls are still expected to study Humanities, while boys do Now, stereotyping itself is not necessarily bad (just, you know, narrow-minded and oversimplified), but it may lead to prejudice. We seem to be moving between two extrema: the way we see females in the science and technology industries tends to be either oversexualized (“sexy young doctor”) or “unfeminine” (baggy clothes, no make-up, short hair- not that there is anything wrong with either of these). What’s worse, this extends into how we perceive them to do their jobs. Consider that: only slightly over 11% of software developers are women. A very interesting research conducted earlier this year on GitHub (“where people build software,” as their website proudly proclaims) has

found that women are actually considered better coders. You probably think that’s amazing, it’s a breakthrough, we (well, Americans) are finally closing the gender gap! None of these things. Because the research has also found that women are considered to be better coders if they don’t disclose their gender.

It’s not always so obvious. Personally, I think that casual sexism is even worse, mostly because people don’t see anything wrong with it. For example, three weeks ago we’ve witnessed one of the biggest scientific milestones in recent decades (see the feature). It’s the kind of news that brings science to the front pages of news, or, at the very least, to the top-trending column on Facebook. One of the team members was a quantum astrophysicist Nergis Mavalvala. As one of the few women in physics, she attracted lots of media attention. Unfortunately, media largely didn’t

care about the gender equality issues. Unlike the men from the team, who were described in terms of their scientific achievements, the scientific path of Professor Mavalvala was shown as a rags-toriches immigrant story: from the “poor and oppressed” Pakistan to the “great and free” United States of America where she could pursue her scientific career as a free woman (note a huge dose of sarcasm here). However, that’s actually the part of the better press. The worse one couldn’t care less if Nergis Mavalvala is an Associate Department Head of Physics at MIT (you know, one of the leading technical universities in the world), because it seemed a whole lot more relevant that she is a lesbian. (The media student in me wants to note here that portraying her as a lesbian might be an attempt at defeminisation, to further the argument that no “real women” do science) Don’t get me wrong. It’s amazing that we see a queer woman of colour playing a major role in a scientific breakthrough.

But if it is so surprising to us that she can be all four at the same time (queer, female, Pakistani, and a scientist), it means that there is something fun-

damentally wrong with our society.

I’d like to believe that we are a generation that will change that. That we will tell our children to do what they want to do, not what they are expected to do because of their gender. That we will let boys play with cooking sets and girls construct planes and ships out of Lego, without finger pointing.

That when the next generation comes to study Media at Newcastle University, they won’t be asked to look around to understand gender performativity.

Because while we might be slowly moving towards closing other aspects of gender inequality, girls are still expected to study Humanities, while boys do Science.

“If it is so surprising to us that she can be all four at the same time (queer, female, Pakistani, and a scientist), it means that there is something fundamentally wrong with our society”

I just hope that maybe one day, if we do have to judge, we’ll do it on the bases of job performance, or intellectual abilities, not gender. Because if we can’t accept women working in technology, how can we ever accept all the spectrum of gender identities?

The Courier

technology&science.39

Monday 29 February 2015

thecourieronline.co.uk/science c2.science@ncl.ac.uk | @courier_science

Weird, wacky and wonderful: medical madness & crazy cures Our writers discuss some of the weirdest medications. Do not try these at home!

Cocaine for motion sickness

In 3000BC, Incas in the Andes chewed coca leaves to counteract the effects of thin mountain air by speeding up heart rates and breathing. Cocaine was first isolated in 1859 by Albert Niemann and was famously used as an ingredient in the new soft drink Coca-Cola in 1886, the same year as its effects on supressing motion sickness were first discussed. Cocaine has an effect on reward pathways in the brain by increasing the number of neurotransmitters present and leading to addiction by causing feelings of euphoria. By increasing the amount of dopamine in the brain, cocaine can prevent feelings of nausea and prevent vomiting.

Even today, cocaine is still legally used as an anaesthetic and for decreasing bleeding in nasal surgery through application directly to the skin, but can also increase the risk of stroke and heart attack, so maybe don’t pass up those antihistamines just yet.

Lizz Lennox

LSD for anxiety, Ketamine for depression

Anxiety sucks. It can limit your free time with overbearing worry, and put a real spanner in the works in regards to your enjoyment in life. But apparently, we have an answer in the form of Lysergic acid diethylamide, or its street name LSD. It seems like one extreme to another, but seriously, this psychedelic wildcard could really do some good. 12 volunteers underwent an experiment to test its effects. All applicants suffered from a life-threatening illness, and most scored highly on anxiety symptom tests, with 8 taking a dose of LSD, and the remaining four being given an ‘active placebo’ to induce some of the effects. The results were ground-breaking, with no ‘bad trips’ recorded, some of the patients wanted more of the drug due to its ability to make them feel so strongly. Some had vivid recollections of happy neglected memories, and others felt it made them feel far more emotional and alive, and although they felt negative emotions just as strong as positive ones, it was better to really feel something than to just repress and forget. Furthermore, it was recently revealed that Ketamine works wonders for depression, so perhaps recreational drugs could lead to more insights into possible psychotherapies?

Jordan Oloman

“By increasing the amount of dopamine in the brain, cocaine can prevent feelings of nausea and prevent vomiting”

Marijuana for period pains Tetrahydrocannabinol (THC), the active ingredient of marijuana, could be a saviour to many, during their time of the month. Symptoms known to be helped by THC ingestion are anxiety and nausea, which has led to controlling cramps and headaches. These are all too common known; whether you’ve experienced it first-hand or had a girl in your life complaining for days on end. During a period, contraction of the uterus releases prostaglandins, which are involved in pain and inflammation; leading to muscle contractions. THC is known to directly reduce this inflammation and ‘block’ the pain. Already in California, medical marijuana is being prescribed for premenstrual dysmorphic disorder (a severe form of PMS). Unfortunately, research is limited due to the legality of conducting experiments with marijuana. Queen Victoria’s physicians were known to prescribe marijuana concoctions to relieve PMS. Surely - if it’s fit for a queen, it’s also fit for us?

Ana Beretsos

Booze drug for HIV Since conducting a small clinical trial, scientists at the University of Melbourne have discovered that a widely used drug could be a vital step forward in finding the cure for HIV. Known as Antabuse or disulphiram, this non-toxic drug has been given to alcoholics for years because it induces vomiting when alcohol is consumed – a strong incentive to avoid the booze! Therefore, disulphiram can be given safely to HIV patients for long periods of time as long as they don’t drink whilst taking the drug. Current anti-retroviral medications are strong enough to eradicate HIV from the blood, but the virus can hide in a dormant state in other parts of the body and re-emerge if treatment ceases. Unfortunately, disulphiram alone won’t solve this deadly disease, but it is a promising option for combining with other drugs. If a second, nontoxic drug is discovered, then the approximate 39 million HIV sufferers around the world have the potential to live healthy, drug-free lives in the future Ellen Jones

Headsets for strokes

Virtual reality headsets may seem like a bit of a videogame gimmick, and things like the Oculus Rift have made a name already in the gaming community, however they’ve been known for a while to have a secondary use: the treatment of stroke victims. Virtual reality goggles are used to run a software program which uses threedimensional avatars of the affected parts of the body - triggering the brain to move parts of the body which are otherwise unable to move. This is already recognised as a method of therapy, and recently, Switzerland-based company MindMaze has recently received a $100bn investment to develop virtual reality hardware and neuroscience further. Their work has already had huge approval in Europe,

showing the effectiveness of this technology.

Sure, it’d be nice to shoot some aliens on Halo with one of these things strapped to your head, but their effectiveness as medical treatment far outweighs their aesthetic capabilities.

Errol Kerr

Word of the Week: REGENERATION

C

ellular regeneration is something you probably thought was only allowed for a few choice humans, like say David Tennant or Ryan Reynolds, and most of the time you probably watched it happen on one of those fancy moving picture screens. When I was a kid, I was also way jealous of those cool geckos and axolotls (mainly because they were cute as hell) but really because if they got into a brawl and suffered a little decapitation or loss of limb, they could just ‘dedifferentiate and chill’ and grow those puppies back.

In reality though, us humans deserve a lot more credit for our regenerative qualities. If we put scabs and scars to the side, humans have been found to regenerate fingertips, toes, and even our kidneys and liver! A human liver can completely remake itself from only a quarter of its tissue, and is a very impressive example of cell proliferation. Recently

though, there have been some ground breaking leaps in the field of induced regeneration in humans.

Grafts of the bladder, heart, and lungs have all been successfully engineered and put to use in the repair of failing organs. Most interesting is the tale of Polish fireman Darek Fidyka, who underwent a procedure via the use of stem cells and cells from his olfactory bulbs (smell cells) to

cure his paraplegia.

He gained movement and sensation in his limbs, and can now walk

and drive.

So, regeneration of the Wade Wilson style is not really as far away as you think. But, just for the sake of argument, I wouldn’t go sparring with Colossus anytime soon, or you might end up looking like Jabba the Hutt.

Jordan Oloman

Issues with the (N)Ozone layer With the hole in the ozone layer expanding, Errol Kerr explains what we might soon be missing.

A

gain, the hole in the Ozone later above Antarctica is expanding, well above the size of the entire North American continent. Prior to this spring, the largest the hole had been was in 2006, according to NASA – and it’s surpassed that this year.

For those of you who don’t know the big deal about the ozone layer, it’s the only thing that protects Earthbound life from ultraviolet rays and other radiation. Without it, we’d be horrifically overexposed to solar radiation, leading to increases of skin cancer, cataracts, damaged immune systems, as well as damage to flora and fauna – damage to plants and blindness in animals. It’s not a genuine hole, of course, but a localised diminution of ozone centred above Antarctica, with certain areas having 100% ozone depletion.

“Without the ozone layer, we’d be horrifically overexposed to solar radiation, leading to increases of skin cancer, cataracts, damaged immune systems”

This is caused by man-made compounds in the stratosphere – releasing compounds containing chlorine and bromine leads to them acting as catalysts, breaking apart the ozone into oxygen and an oxide. Of course, if this damage expanded across more populated areas, the consequences could be catastrophic. Don’t know about you, but I kind of like my eyes and skin working as they should. You may be sitting there thinking something like “Well, I’m just one student, there’s nothing I can do!” – and you’d be incorrect. The hole in the Ozone layer fluctuates on an annual basis, ebbing and flowing much like a tide – and was repairing itself over time – ozone is created by the reaction of oxygen and UV radiation. Therefore, there’s clearly stuff that can be done – all that’s currently going on is that ozone is being broken down faster than it can be made, and that’s simple enough to fix, really. All we need to do is, as a collective, reduce the amount of chlorofluorocarbons (CFCs) released into the atmosphere.

“All that’s currently going on is that ozone is being broken down faster than it can be made, and that’s simple enough to fix”

Yeah, I hear you all saying “what in the blazes are those?” or something probably more rude but I can’t write that because the editors won’t put that into print. Simply put, any kind of fossil fuel usage creates these things. So little changes make a big difference. If you’re allowed to change to fluorescent bulbs at your home or flat, do so. Turn off electrical appliances that you aren’t using at the plug, too. Those of you driving in, try organising carpools as a group to reduce emissions, or catch the bus every so often – bike or walk instead sometimes. Little changes make a big difference.

The Courier

puzzles.41

Monday 29 February 2016

Puzzles ?? ?

Puzzles Editors: Jack Parker & Mark Sleightholm

Can you guess where the hell we’ve taken this photo, and why?

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Image: Ultra7, Wikimedia Commons

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“Sudok-who? Nah, never heard of them”

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Across

1 Russian water (5) 4 Not to be worn with socks (6) 7 Britain’s most common pub name (3, 4) 8 British composer, wrote the music to ‘Land of Hope and Glory’ (5) 9 Wimbledon winner 2001, the only wildcard to win the tournament (10) 13 Inverted photographs (8) 14 Church council (5) 16 Not yang (3) 17 Herb; Gateshead venue (4) 18 International children’s charity (6) 19 Short, funny opera (8) 20 “Overhearing” (9) 21 Just a number (3)

Connectword Find the word that connects these three words.

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Down

1 Fear of hights; supposedly the best film of all time (7) 2 1970s sitcom, recently turned into a film (4, 4) 3 When someone’s got your back to get you off the hook (5) 4 Sixth ____, 1999 film starring Bruce Willis and famous for its twist ending (5) 5 Shop selling luxury foods (12) 6 South American animal related to the horse (5) 10 The area between Jesmond and Heaton (9) 11 Potentially controversial lifestyle choice that’s good for the environment (5) 12 Moonlight _____, 1939 hit for Glenn Miller (8) 14 Moonlight _____, 1801 hit for Ludwig van Beethoven (5) 15 _____ Kidman, _____ Scherzinger (6)

Ball Level Sight

Completing the entirety of this puzzles page will entitle you to the respect of (some of) your peers. Feel free to bring the proof of your achievement into the Courier office, where you’ll receive a firm handshake

42.sportfeatures

Monday 29 February 2016

The Courier

Stan Calvert Super Sunday This year’s varsity competition sees a record number of games being played on the final Sunday, so here’s two possible itineraries to help you soak in as much action as possible

START

12:30pm- Men’s & Women’s Fencing,

Northumbria Sports Central When it comes to the idiom, “I’m way out of your league” and Stan Calvert, the men and women of Team Newcastle’s fencing club certainly live up to the catchphrase. Both teams have led successful campaigns in the premier league, and with Northumbria’s own nowhere to be seen, it’s reasonable to say that the captains are looking optimistic about their chances on the 6th of March.

This season, the Men’s firsts have had an almost total team overhaul to deal with the loss of many of their ex-athletes graduating onwards and upwards.

Despite this, they’ve managed to hold onto their position within the premier, a challenging task that has only been made possible by the determined efforts of Captain Matthew Grogan and his squad. More so, the Men’s sabre team stand currently undefeated, which is a fearsome accolade that should undoubtedly aid the men’s in their fight against Northumbria.

The Women’s firsts have led an equally challenging campaign in their quest

for league domination. Led by captain Molly Jowsey, they’ve managed to take a very impressive 2nd place in the premier, conceded only a single loss and made their way to the cup semi-final, earning them the title of one the 4th best university teams in the country.

Currently, the only Newcastle team to have ever met a Northumbrian squad were the NCL Women’s 3rds. Twice.

And each time they were able to knock them back with a comfortable ten point lead. And if that’s what the thirds could do, who knows how the NCL 1sts will get on.

Overall, the winner of Stan Calvert is anybody’s guess. In itself, the Newcastle University Fencing Club hasn’t lost a Stan Calvert match for almost five years.

With this longstanding win streak, and the 1st teams’ progress league-wise this season, it’s likely that they each have a strong chance of scoring another vital win for Team Newcastle, and with it, hopefully a chance to steal back the trophy.

Navneet Kandhari

10:00am- Women’s Badminton 2’s, Sports Central Newcastle University Badminton Club’s biggest and most hotly anticipated fixture of the year, The Stan Calvert Memorial Cup, looms just around the corner. The annual varsity event, held at Sports Central on Sunday 6th March from 10am-6pm, will be the culmination of a successful season for the club’s four teams. After training continually and tirelessly since university began way back in September, all the hard work comes down to this one remaining match.

Both the women’s 1sts and 2nds have already won their respective BUCS leagues, and will be looking to add the crown and bragging rights of a Stan Calvert victory to their year’s accomplishments. The 1st team have already bested

Northumbria twice this season in their undefeated league campaign. But with the varsity match being held on Northumbrian soil, and with Northumbria’s reputation for boasting a raucous home crowd, they need as many supporters as possible to cheer them on to smash the Poly.

The Men’s teams will be looking to avenge last season’s Stan Calvert disappointment, an event in which the city’s lesser university fielded a couple of dubious players, including a former commonwealth games competitor, in their attempts to dethrone Team Newcastle.

Will they call upon such ringers again this year in their attempt to retain the title? The only way to find out is by heading down to Sports Central and witness-

ing for yourself what is sure to be one of the most highly competitive varsity outings in recent memory.

How much will this day of racket sport entertainment set you back? Absolutely nothing; unlike the Stan Calvert Rugby or “Clash of the Titans”, admission is free – and we guarantee for that price you’ll get your money’s worth.

It would be fantastic to see as many of you Courier readers and friends and family of players down as possible to support the University in what is certain to be the most entertaining and competitive varsity match of all the action on display in this multi-sports competition.

Jamie Logue

Blades of glory: The fencers haven’t lost in Stan Calvert for 5 years Image: Matthew Bannon

4:30pm- Netball 1’s, Sports Centre

NUNC want revenge for last year’s late winner in the grand finale Image: Cat Scharoter

It was an unbelievable game at Stan Calvert last year, with Netball hosting the final, the first team lost out by one goal in the last few seconds, so It’s fair to say that NUNC are determined to take the victory in 2016. With an almost completely new first team squad, Newcastle have raised the bar of performance with Superleague players such as Emily Hollingworth, Jay Robinson and Hattie Grant.

Training with such strong players every week has really lifted the team’s quality of play and means that whatever happens, you will be promised a good game at Stan Calvert. Captain Georgia St Rose has done an outstanding job with the first team all season as she has worked hard to keep them motivated and working as a strong unit no matter what challenges they have faced. Not only will she do a great job leading her team on the day but she will also give her best performance in centre court as nothing is better motivation than a bit of poly-bashing.

Another player who is guaranteed to bring her A-game is Hollie Joyce a first year to the club who has had an absolute stormer of a season at goal attack.

The whole club has been working hard with extra court and fitness sessions throughout the weeks leading up to the big game. Club Captain Laura Brady is certain that the game is going to go well and has said “recently we have been

training well and we’ve got a lot of determination in the club to bring it back”.

It’s been a rocky season for the first team as they took a while to adjust to their very new and fresher weighted team. However countless games have proven them as a worthy team in the prem as every week they fight their hardest against the best universities in the country. This really will be a game you don’t want to miss as the NewcastleNorthumbria Netball rivalry is one of the most intense out of any of the sports you will see in Stan Calvert.

For the last three years the match has only been lost by a single point and now that the game will be played on home turf at the sports centre there is nothing stopping Newcastle from finally getting back the win. The Newcastle University Netball club prides itself on the support which it gives to its teams as every week we make sure we are there to cheer on each other’s games. And Stan Calvert will be no different, in fact the entire club is going to bring more spirit than before.

So if you want to add to the great atmosphere and see passion, sweat and poly tears head down to the sports centre at 4:30 on Sunday 6th to see Newcastle come one step closer to taking back the Stan Calvert cup.

Abi Dodwell

The Courier

sportfeatures.43

Monday 29 February 2016

3.00pm- Men’s Hockey, Coach Lane Sport Centre Perhaps one of the most eagerly anticipated Stan Calvert matches of 2016, the Men’s Hockey clashes will see the continuation of an ongoing battle between NUMHC and Northumbria. Newcastle’s 2nd team have been tussling it out with the poly’s 1’s in BUCS league Northern 2B. As is tradition with the varsity competition, the two 1st teams will lock horns. Newcastle’s 1’s are themselves involved in a race for promotion from Northern 1A. Their fate will be decided when they face Liverpool, just three days after the Stan Calvert fixture.

In the meantime, focus switches to Sunday’s match, which should prove a stern test for NUMHC, despite their opposition’s inferior league status. The 1’s go into the match on the back of two successive BUCS defeats, the latest coming in unfortunate fashion after losing on flicks in the BUCS Trophy to Leeds, who compete in the league above Newcastle.

Northumbria also lost their last game, beaten 0-3 by Durham 3’s in the league, which crucially kept the door open for Newcastle’s 2nd team to steal the league title on the last day of the season. The

NUMHC’s Simon Jones in action versus Northumbria earlier this season Image: Brandon Few

poly currently sit in pole position, ahead only on goal difference, but a win for NUMHC’s 2nd string would see them leapfrog Northumbria into first.

The 2’s will be hoping for revenge after being denied victory in their previous league meeting in the dying seconds, that game ended 2-2. The two sides go head to head on the 16th March at Coach Lane.

To add to the drama of the final day fixtures, The Courier understands that the 2’s will only be granted promotion if their colleagues in the 1st team can also guarentee promotion from Northern 1A, to avoid the two meeting in the same division.

Stan Calvert might then provide the Newcastle 1’s with some well-earned respite from the stresses of BUCS. That said, they’ll be hoping to get one over on their city rivals. The 1sts match gets underway at 4.30pm at Coach Lane Sports Centre, home of Northumbria, and is preceded by the 2nds match at 3pm.

Newcastle’s 2’s should make light work of their Northumbria counterparts, who are struggling in Northern 5B. Calum Wilson

FINISH 7:30pm- Men’s Football 1’s,

Gateshead International Stadium It’s that time of year again. Everyone in the university gets together to cheer on our favourite Newcastle teams against the old enemy, Northumbria.

Football has been a central part of the competition since its introduction in 1994, with Stan Calvert himself representing British Universities at the sport.

More recently, over the last three years honours have been shared. Last years’ 2-2 draw was preceded by a 4-2 loss and a 2-1 win in 2014 and 2013 respectively.

It’ll be at the forefront of these lads’ minds that they’ll not only want to turn around the run of two consecutive Stan Calvert games without a win in the football, but they’ll want to prevent Northumbria winning their third consecutive Stan Calvert Cup for the first time in their history. This year they can do this as the main event.

To achieve this they’ll once again have to do the business as an underdog.

Whilst Newcastle compete in Northern 1A, Northumbria are a commendable fourth in the division above. But it’s not all about league position.

Northumbria have only won one of their last six matches in 90 minutes, and

Newcastle’s rivals have gathered a reputation as draw specialists in the league, something psychological that Newcastle will perhaps look to exploit.

In contrast, according to the everreliable STATZONE, up to the 13th of February NUAFC had won 11 on the bounce in the Northern Football Alliance; they also sit in second place in Northern 1A, winning three of their last six BUCS matches.

Both Newcastle and Northumbria lost their quarter-final ties in their respective cups this week, and we’ll have to wait and see how that has mentally affected the teams. However, Newcastle have a decent track record of bouncing back after defeats.

It was a tough pill to swallow for Newcastle last Wednesday as Manchester Met snatched the game in extra time, but there were positives to take from the recent cup run.

Olly Walker has emerged as a clinical forward, taking up the goal-scoring gauntlet as he’s past 30 for the season.

The 19-year-old, who models himself on Harry Kane, bagged two against Leeds in the previous round, and will

Get your head in the game: The Finale will be played at Gateshead Stadium Image: Robin Richards look to continue his rich vein of form.

The striker will want to score in his second consecutive Stan Calvert match, and not many would bet against him.

NUAFC fans can be rest assured that the chemistry between Walker and his established pacey strike-partner, Allan ‘The Nigerian Prince’ Owen, will prove pivotal, and perhaps decisive, in the upcoming clash.

Aside from these ‘top baggers’, Newcastle will also want their defence to

We go into the game as underdogs but that’s something we enjoy as it takes the pressure off us. Being the main event this year really gives it an edge and is something everyone is absolutely buzzing about.”

On the team’s preparation he added “We have plenty of football at the moment in our Saturday league so it gives us ample time to prepare, however, it’s probably going to be a case of managing our workload to ensure we are fizz-

one-sided. “It should be a close game.

Newcastle have been performing well in the BUCS leagues and this will be their biggest game of the year, for our lads we have a fixture list of over 50 games so we will have to match their intensity and desire.”

Yet the keeper admits that being favourites will put Northumbria at a disadvantage. “Obviously the crowd, and the expectation on Northumbria being the stronger footballing university, puts

“Being the main event this year really gives it an edge and is something everyone is absolutely buzzing about”

NUAFC 1’s drew last year’s Stan Calvert clash 2-2 with their poly rivals Image: Calum Wilson

be on the ball. They’ll want to ensure that Club President Jack Taylor hasn’t been too distracted by his campaign for NUSU President, but his teammates will make sure his plans for world domination are put on the back-burner as his attention is switched to Sunday’s clash.

When asked for the Club President’s thoughts on the game, he had this to say.

“There’s no doubt it’s going to be a hard game but a challenge we relish as a club.

ing for the game. Whilst we’ve not replicated our Wednesday form from last year we’ve been a force on Saturdays so we’ll be looking to take that through to the game. We really hope as many Newcastle students as possible get down as it will make all the difference on the night.”

Although Newcastle team will be the underdogs, Northumbria keeper Alex Newton doesn’t think it’ll be so

the pressure on us so it’s a case of managing that and if we play to our ability I’m confident we’ll get the win.”

Northumbria’s Football President said, “everyone is buzzing for the match, especially with it being the finale this year. We’ve had a lot of fixtures recently and just coming to the end of that and topping it all off with a Stan Calvert win in front of that crowd would be perfect.”

James Sproston

44.sportfeatures

Monday 29 February 2016

The Courier

Sport Relief 2016: The stars who have ran, swam and baked their way into our hearts

Sports Relief isn’t just about (Davina) McCall’ing up and donating your Walliams-earned cash. You really have to respect the celebrities as it Izz-hard to come close to their (Paul) Hollywood status. Don’t Mary Berry your head in the sand, tune in and get (Ed) Balls deep in some charity fun. How much (Sam) Cam’ they raise this year?

Walliams gets wet for charity

Sport Relief: combining sport and entertainment to raise money for both the UK and some of the world’s poorest countries. Or, as we’ve come to know it, celebrities pushing themselves past breaking point in a desperate bid for donations.

Over the years there’s been many sport relief challenges: Eddie Izzard ran 43 marathons in 51 days, Helen Skelton kayaked 2,010 miles of the Amazon, Davina McCall swam, cycled and ran 500 miles in a week.

Yet, for me, all of these challenges pale in comparison to David Walliams’ Big Swim. Walliams is no stranger to Sport Relief challenges; he raised £1 million when he swam the channel in 2006, he swam the Strait of Gibraltar in 2008, and was part of the celebrity team that cycled 1,000 miles across the UK in 2010.

Those challenges, although difficult,

did nothing to prepare Walliams for his 2011 challenge. Big seems a somewhat inapt adjective to describe his simply astonishing feat: swimming the Thames. Just how far is that? 140 miles.

He swam 140 miles in open water in just eight days! That’s the equivalent of swimming the channel eight times, something even the most competent open water swimmer would dread.

The sheer physical demands of such a challenge are inconceivable- Walliams was estimated to have burned over 65,000 calories during his challenge.

Sure, Olympic distance swimmers may swim such distances on a daily basis, but not in open water where they have to contend with currents, swans, bad weather, debris, and poor visibility. He succumbed to the early stages of hypothermia on day one because the water was two degrees colder than the sea, and had to wear

a wetsuit for the duration of the challenge, which chafed so badly he bled.

Heavy rainfall the week before his swim led to 300 tonnes of raw sewerage being dumped into the river and experts advising him to abandon his challenge for fear of his wellbeing. He succumbed to a stomach bug on day three, which left him unable to keep down anything more than toast and glucose tablets, tore a spinal disc, which left him needing physio and eventual surgery months after the challenge, yet still continued. And he rescued an over-eager dog from drowning.

His efforts raised £2 million pounds for sport relief, and boy, did he earn every one of those donations.

Da-

vid Walliams, we salute you.

Lucy Brogdon

Walliams is arguably the face of the charity fund raiser Images: YouTube

Thanks Sainsbury’s, every little helps Generally sports relief gives a load of celebrities a chance to fund raise by doing something that they would have done anyway. The real heroes aren’t the people who are doing something for a bit of attention, but those honest members of the public that are actively getting out there and doing something.

I’m sure it’s great for Jermaine Jenas to not only get his mug on my TV when the football’s on, but now also to appear in a glorified kitchen with Mary Berry and Louise Redknapp. Anyone who loses to Ginger Spice in a baking competition does not deserve to be there. I can’t even imagine what Jacqui Oatley was thinking when she was paired with him for Pointless.

Hopefully he’ll be

Eddie Izzard getting in the zone before he runs 707.4 miles Images: YouTube

sticking to football in the near future.

I do however have plenty of time for those celebrities that do something exceptional in the name of Sports Relief.

Eddie Izzard is a truly inspirational man. The guy ran seven weeks’ worth of back-to-back marathons (43 marathons in 51 days – more than 1,100 miles) in 2009 with no more than 5 weeks training. Not only did he raise a hell load of money, but he also proved that genuinely anyone can do something that impressive. He’s now doing 27 more marathons this year to raise even more money. What a guy.

Likewise David Walliams’ previous exploits, and Greg James’ triathlon this year are both impressive. But why call it a ‘Gregathon’? It just cheapens what he’s doing. Come on, guys. Sort it out.

What I’d like to see this year is a bigger focus on what the public are doing. Every year they have little snippets about

what Sainsbury’s or Boots are doing this year. Occasionally they’ll have a group of Scouts with an oversized cheque that some poor 10-year-old has to carry.

Personally I want more features and coverage of the grassroots activities.

That’s what’s going to inspire people to get involved. People need to know that they don’t have to be celebrities to raise money.

Hopefully we’ll see some big efforts here in Newcastle this year as well. Each time Sports Relief comes around there seems to be more and more going on, and I hope that continues.

No doubt there’ll be some local sporting events you can attend. I know full well that the lads at Berocca Juniors FC have got something in the pipeline, and likely as not most sports teams from around the uni will as well so keep on the lookout.

James Sproston

Ed’s Sugar Coated Balls I was a firm believer that The Great British Bake Off was the epitome of television, and nothing would ever surpass it. Then, some genius somewhere at the BBC decided to combine Mary Berry, Paul ‘The Silver Fox’ Hollywood and charity together to create The Great Sport Relief Bake Off, throwing political heavyweights Sam-Cam and Ed Balls into the same hyper-tent as Chris Kamara and David James.

The show might not be quite as awe inspiring as climbing Mount Kilimanjaro, but the mental stress on the face of Victoria Coren when her cake tasted saltier than the North Sea shows what celebrities these days are willing to put themselves through.

The will-they-won’t-they conundrum surrounding the potential rise of a good puffy canapé leaves viewers on the edge of their seats, before rolling off them laughing when David James’ ‘bite size’ pastry resembled a recently felled tree.

Not only does The Great Sport Relief Bake Off provide sufficient hilarity, but it also raises an incredible amount of money for charity.

For me, the Bake Off can provide so many more important services to our nation, such as the General Election, choosing the next England football manager or deciding Scottish Independence.

Who doesn’t want to see David Cameron fighting for his Downing Street residence by attempting to bake a better apple strudel than Jeremy Corbyn? Millions would tune in to see whether Corbyn would do up his apron properly and sing the Bake Off national anthem. As for Scottish Independence, pit Alex Salmond against Alistair Darling in a deep fried Mars bar contest.

I digress, the work that Sport Relief does for our country and others is truly exceptional, and the fact the Bake Off manages to combine it with television gold only enhances its reputation.

Since 2002, Sport Relief has raised over £262 million for Comic Relief, and the Bake Off has encouraged thousands of

Brits to start up cake sales and charity events to contribute towards that total.

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Alex Hendley

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I think this speaks for itself really.

Get at it Mary Berry!

Images: YouTube

The Courier

Monday 29 February 2016

sportfeatures.45

On cloud nine: Dance Society takes record number of trophies Sports Editor Alex Hendley spoke to Louisa Barnard regarding the recent success of Newcastle University’s Dance Society who took nine trophies at Gateshead’s Sage, with action shots of all of last Saturday’s best action

Last Saturday, Newcastle Dance Society hosted twelve other universities at Gateshead’s Sage with hopes of adding some much-deserved silverware to Newcastle University’s trophy cabinet.

With a whole array of disciplines for the society to compete in, it would take a high level of talent to outshine the visiting universities, who too would be hoping for glory.

In an outstanding display, Newcastle came away from the day with nine trophies and smiles all round after a dominating dance performance. The nine trophies that the society plundered from the Sage took their year’s haul to 21, a society record for Newcastle University. What’s more, with a competition in Sheffield this weekend their total will have reached new heights in their run up to their annual dance show this April.

Newcastle took a remarkable four first places, coming top spot in Intermediate Tap, Advanced Contemporary, Lyrical and a stunning solo from Louisa Barnard. Intermediate Jazz, Advanced Jazz, Advanced Street and Intermediate Ballet swept up the second places while Advanced Tap came on impressive third to wrap up an outstanding day.

Big thanks must be given to Beth Hinson, who coordinated and made possible the fantastic show in Gateshead.

“What a wonderful day of dancing”, said Hinson, clearly delighted with the day’s outcome, “the atmosphere from the twelve universities was buzzing the entire day, and Newcastle smashed it!”

Northern Stage hosts Newcastle Dance Society’s next big event, when Dance Fest presents ‘Fancy Footwork’ on Friday 22nd April and Saturday 23rd April. The show will include all sorts of dancing, with ballet, tap, commercial and lyrical all on show.

More details on the show will be released at a later date.

Fab-u-lous! Newcastle’s dancing aces were the stars of the show, taking first place in four events.

Images: Newcaste Dance Society

46.sportbucs Gus’ Club of the Week

Monday 29 February 2016

The Courier

Newcastle students take leading role in Training Corps quarters

NUOTC Men’s Football NUOTC

5

103 Regt RA

0

By James Sproston

By Alex Hendley Sports Editor This week’s Club of the Week chosen by AU Officer Angus Taylor is the Newcastle University Boating Club, who last weekend took home the Victor Ludorum trophy. The Courier spoke to NUBC’s Publicity Officer Sam Casey about their impressive performance.

Newcastle University Boat Club dominated the BUCS Fours and Eights Head last weekend, winning the Victor Ludorum trophy and seeing off challenges from key local and national rivals. The event took place in Newcastle, at the University’s Water Sports Centre, and involved Universities from across the country competing in a time trial on the River Tyne.

Saturday was the day of racing for beginners, and the inexperienced rowers were forced to deal with extremely challenging conditions, caused by fast winds and a strong tide. Newcastle’s crews coped admirably on their home water, winning medals in all categories they entered. The highlight of the day was the gold medal won by the men’s eight, overturning an Edinburgh crew that had beaten them only a few weeks previously. The women’s eight also raced well, but were pushed into bronze medal position, a mere 2 seconds behind winners Edinburgh. Both eights split up to race in fours, with the top men’s and women’s crews finishing in silver medal position.

On Sunday it was the senior squads’ turn to race, and they were greeted by similarly tough racing conditions. The men’s and women’s first eights won silver and bronze medals respectively, both solid results that they will hope to improve on at BUCS Regatta in the summer. In the intermediate eights category, the men and women smashed the rest of the field, winning by massive margins. Newcastle also repeated their impressive result from last year, by taking the silver medal position in men’s intermediate eights, a demonstration of NUBC’s superior strength in depth compared to other Universities.

In small boats, the seniors continued to medal. The men won gold in championship coxless fours, lightweight coxless fours, intermediate coxed fours and intermediate quads. As well as this, they gained bronze medals in championship coxed fours and intermediate quads.

The women won silver in championship coxless fours and bronze in championship quads.

These results meant Newcastle were clear winners of the Victor Ludorum trophy, with nearly twice as many points as their nearest rivals, Edinburgh. The squads will now look to carry this form into fixtures with the world-famous Oxford and Cambridge University Boat Clubs. The women’s first eight will race Oxford in London on the 12th of March, whilst the men will race Cambridge’s blue boat in Nottingham on the 27th of February, as the light blues prepare for the 162nd Boat Race in March.

The Northumbrian Universities Officers Training Corps (NUOTC) is an institution run by the British Army to seek out leadership potential for the future, incorporating students from the universities of Newcastle, Durham, Northumbria, Teesside and Sunderland.

Although most of its members don’t go on to join the Army, they are still paid to attend drill nights, go on adventure training and most importantly play sport.

Though the NUOTC offer men’s and women’s rugby, cricket and hockey, football is currently in the spotlight.

Over the last couple of years, the football team has shown a vast improvement under SSgt Edgell, with a number of players recently representing the National Army Reserve side.

Last year the team progressed their way through to the Army Reserve Challenge Cup semi-finals. On their route to the semis, NUOTC were relatively unchallenged following a 17-0 romp of 162 RLC in the last 16, and then 81 Sigs forfeiting the quarter-final to send the team straight through.

Unfortunately this lack of preparation was the downfall of the team, being overcome 5-1 by an experienced heavyweight in the Army footballing circuit: 152 RLC from Northern Ireland.

Over summer the lads worked tirelessly to improve their game, competing in six-a-side tournaments in Grantham and North Yorkshire. They also had to increase their squad as Thomas Barker and Callum Leach, two former National Army Reserve players, left their ranks.

Still somewhat lacking in depth, and under the new management of SSgt Middlemiss, NUOTC came up against 5 RRF (last years’ other defeated semifinalist) in the first round. With the new gaffer filling in at centre-back alongside club captain Luke Page-Kennedy, the team overcame a 1-0 half-time deficit to win 3-1.

After scouting the entirety of the North East for the best young talent,

Roger that: NUOTC followed winning orders in style Image: James Sproston NUOTC drafted in five or six talented lads to come to train and play with the squad.

Some of these players were involved in the round of 16, a January away fixture to York OTR. Both teams looked somewhat rusty after a lengthy Christmas break, however only one team had the desire to take the win. At 1-1 both teams looked just as likely as the other to win it, but the NUOTC showed their class to record another 3-1 win, sealed by a late Sam Jeffery goal.

Before the finals, the team continued to prepare for the next round with a friendly game against NUAS. In a rematch of a feisty encounter earlier in the season, NUOTC took the spoils with a comfortable win, and could well have got more had the lights not been turned off.

Having proved that they could that they could perform on a cold, windy Thursday night in Gateshead, the team had confidence going into the cup match four days later in Walker.

NUOTC took a squad of approximately eighteen players, including Newcastle University’s very own Charlie Rhodes, Sam Jeffery, Max Haydon, Peter Gorwood, and Oliver Richardson, over to Walker to contest their biggest game of the season so far. Star-striker Alex Hearn and key player Ed Cooper were unable to make the journey but will hope to make the squad for the next round.

After waiting past the kick-off time, the lads started the match against a weakened 103 RA side. Once a tightly contested first half hour had passed, NUOTC made the most of their advantage as Declan Lavery cut in from the left to fire a shot past the keeper.

From that point on there was no doubt which team was in charge.

NUOTC doubled their advantage when SSgt Middlemiss, having played in ‘the hole’ like Dennis Bergkamp, neatly turned in a pinpoint cross from Dominic Ash. Once Nathan Ashcroft scored from

yet another cross to send the lads 3-0 up into the break, to the uncultured fan the game may have seen won. However the team once again showed great character and mental toughness to see out the game, with Ash and Ashcroft adding two more to seal the 5-0 win.

With another convincing win in the bag, NUOTC are starting to be taken seriously. No other OTC has performed as consistently well as this team and the lads have worked towards shaking off the stigma that has plagued OTC sport.

In the next round the lads will travel to Scotland to contest for a spot in the final. They’ll face current holders 71 Engineer Regt on unfamiliar turf, looking to cause yet another upset.

The fairy-tale end to this true underdog story is to win the final in front of a capacity crowd at Aldershot Military Stadium. If the lads win not only will they have tremendous pride and the respect of the military community but also a trip to Wembley. Let’s hope they can go all the way.

Wednesday 24th February results

Badminton M2 v Leeds 2nds W1 v Northumbria 1sts

0-8 2-6

Basketball M1 v Derby 1sts M2 v Leeds 2nds M3 v Sunderland 3rds W1 v Oxford 1sts

94-61 75-53 57-68 84-42

Fencing M1 v Oxford 1sts M2 v Sheffield 1sts M3 v Sheffield 1sts W1 v UCL 1sts

72-124 41-135 30-135 117-117 *2-1 on weapons

Overall BUCS Position: 9th

Lacrosse M1 v Northumbria 1sts W1 v Cambridge 1sts

4-14 4-14

Netball 3 v Sheffield 2nds 4 v Durham 2nds

29-45 23-48

Football M1 v MMU (Cheshire) 1sts M2 v Teeside 1sts W1 v Sunderland 1sts W2 v Sheffield 2nds

2-3 2-6 2-0 1-2

Golf 1 v Leeds Beckett 2nds

Rugby Union M1 v Durham 1sts M3 v Durham 4ths M4 v York 2nds M5 v York 3rds W2 v York St John 1sts

18-25 12-30 22-14 22-12 17-15

3-1

Hockey M2 v Leeds 2nds M3 v Durham 4ths M4 v Durham 5ths W2 v York 1sts W3 v Leeds 3rds W4 v Teesside 1sts

Rugby League 2 v Bradford 1sts

46-10

3-1 2-3 1-4 6-3 2-1 1-7

Squash M1 v Birmingham 1sts M2 v Sheffield 2nds M3 v York 2nds W1 v Dundee 1sts W2 v Durham 2nds

0-5 5-0 3-0 4-0 0-4

Table Tennis M1 v Sheffield 1sts W1 v Sheffield 1sts

4-9 1-4

Tennis M1 v Sheffield Hallam 2nds 12-0 M2 v Leeds 3rds 8-4 W2 v Durham 4ths 4-8 Volleyball M1 v Sunderland 1sts W1 v Kings College 1sts

3-0 W/O

Waterpolo M1 v Liverpool 1sts

9-12

The Courier

sportbucs.47

Monday 29 February 2016

Netball girls hit by top of the table pressure Netball Newcastle 3rds

29

Sheffield 2nds

45

By Lucy Brogden at the Sports Centre Newcastle’s thirds continued their fight for the league and promotion on Wednesday as they faced Sheffield’s seconds in the sports hall. It was set to be a bitter fight, as both sides were level in the league table ahead of the final few fixtures of the season. In their previous encounter back in November, Newcastle narrowly took victory 29-28, but with both sides’ promotion hopes resting on the game’s outcome it was all to play for, and the pressure was on. Coach Georgia St Rose stressed the importance of the game in her pre-match team-talk, instructing her players to ‘switch on’ in this, a game they ‘have to win’.

Taking to the court, Newcastle’s Chloe Marshall took the first centre, with the first goal of the match coming courtesy of Molly Macleod at GS who used Marshall and Sophie Houghton at WA to work the ball around the circle and shoot. The score remained fairly even during the opening minutes of the first quarter, with Sheffield evening up, despite strong marking from Newcastle.

A turnover of Newcastle’s centre which they then converted allowed Sheffield to take the lead, with another goal following soon after.

Simple mistakes from Sheffield were used and capitalised on by Newcastle: a free pass from footwork, and strong defensive pressure which forced Sheffield to make a poor, rushed feed into the D to give Newcastle a back-line pass, gave them the opportunity to bring the score level once more.

As the quarter progressed, Sheffield began to establish a steady lead, which

Newcastle struggled to respond to. Although the ball was moved seamlessly down court by the centre court players, Newcastle struggled to get the ball into the D against Sheffield’s impressively tall defensive duo, leaving the score at 6-11 at the end of the first quarter. St Rose used the break to re-shuffle Newcastle’s attack, bringing on Krista Bennett as GA, and switching Ellie Rutter to WA from WD. The second quarter started slowly for Newcastle as they took a while to find their stride. Centre passes were marked strongly, as per St Rose’s instructions for a ‘full defence’, forcing Sheffield to use their defence to get the ball out, and move it down the court.

Despite this, Sheffield continued to extend their lead as Newcastle struggled to convert. Sheffield’s GK, Elizabeth Bailey, and GD, Leona Awoyele, standing at 6’2”, and 6’1” respectively made Bennett and McLeod look possibly diminutive in comparison. Such statuesque defenders made it difficult for Newcastle to get rebounds and shoot around such invasive leans. Since lobs and overhead passes made for easy pickings for Sheffield, Newcastle’s feeders were forced to get inventive by rolling and bouncing the ball in. Bennett and McLeod worked hard to create space, with Bennett using her speed to dodge and dart around her player, whilst McLeod held her keeper where she wanted her.

New attempts to get the ball into the D meant that Newcastle had a late flurry of goals with five minutes to go, shortening the gap from 6-16 to 10-17, but it was a case of too little too late, as precise shooting from Sheffield made it 19-10 at half time.

The third quarter brought changes in Newcastle’s defence as Mhairi Jackson was brought on as GK, and Liv Dale moved to GD. The new defensive formation worked well, as Newcastle forced Sheffield to re-set their attack.

Jackson used face-to-face marking to

Tight at the top: Newcastle remain in touch despite the loss Image: Lucy Brogden keep her GS out of the circle, but Sheffield’s clinical shooting meant that they were still able to increase their lead. Although Newcastle had many chances, and made many interceptions they just weren’t able to convert against such strong, unforgiving circle defence, and were left trailing 18-34 at the end of the quarter.

The final quarter started with a four goal scoring streak from Newcastle, for which Sheffield had no response, with

lovely feeds into the D from Marshall.

Newcastle’s defence remained tightinterceptions and turnovers were rife, and Sheffield were forced to recycle the ball in their attack. However, Newcastle weren’t able to keep up this initial dominance, as Sheffield fought back.

The final few minutes were frenzied from both teams as they grafted hard for goals, cheered on from those on the side-lines. Despite Newcastle’s efforts, the score as the final whistle blew was 45-29, a somewhat unfair reflection of

Newcastle’s play.

Coaches St Rose and Laura Brady said that the match was ‘hard against such a tall team’. St Rose commended the evident fitness of the team, and the way that Newcastle were able to stay calm under the pressure, which will put them in good stead for their upcoming game in Stan Calvert.

This loss means that Newcastle slip to third in the league, three points behind now jointly first-placed Durham and Sheffield.

three times in the final four minutes, but Northumbria were able to respond every time, and although the gap did not widen in the fourth quarter, Newcastle were unable to regain any of the ground they lost in the third. Two pointers from Northumbria’s Rachael Bland and Fiona O’Dwyer in the final minute resulted in a final score of 79-56.

Isobel Johns, Women’s Basketball President, summed up the game: “It was frustrating. First half we were by far the better team, third quarter let

us down; you can see by the score. We weren’t mentally tough enough to come back from it. It was a good solid team performance though, ignoring the third quarter.”

Team captain Anne Heiaas added: “It would be nice to beat them in Stan Calvert but we’re taking this game as a learning point because we’re probably meeting them in the final eights [of the BUCS Championship, hosted by Northumbria 5-6 March] so we want to get prepared.”

Poly take Stan Calvert lead with victory Women’s Basketball Northumbria 1sts

79

Newcastle 1sts

56

By Mark Sleightholm at Sport Central Despite a strong start from Newcastle, Poly dominance in the third quarter of this early Stan Calvert fixture snatched victory away from the Knights and put Northumbria 8-6 up in the overall Stan Calvert score.

In the BUCS Premier North league Northumbria sit top of the table while Newcastle are fourth out of the six teams, but it was Newcastle who made the first mark on the scoreboard at the Stan Calvert match, with Kara Bonenberger scoring within the first 40 seconds.

A quick response from Northumbria set up the duel, with Newcastle keeping just ahead for the first five minutes, before a three-pointer from Northumbria put the Poly ahead 9-8. A mere six seconds later Newcastle repeated this feat, much to the dismay of the predominantly-Northumbria crowd.

Northumbria seemed to move more slowly throughout the first quarter, and on several occasions a scramble round their net was unable to yield them any results. Newcastle, on the other hand, were able to gain possession and swiftly

take the ball down the court to score, no fuss.

Newcastle scored nine points in the time it took their opponents to score just one, from a penalty. Despite this dominance, however, Northumbria pulled together towards the break, leaving the score at 23-20 to Newcastle at the end of the first quarter.

The second quarter began with a series of misses from Northumbria, but successful shots from Chloe Bully and Zita Maronosi put the hosts 25-23 ahead. Newcastle responded by calling a time out, and came back on after the break to level the score.

The ball passed from end to end throughout the rest of the second quarter as both teams’ scores ticked up and the pace quickened. The crowd, overwhelmingly composed of Northumbria students, cheered whenever the visitors lost possession, and, along with the Northumbria bench, gave considerable vocal support to the Poly players.

Northumbria ended the second quarter slightly ahead, 42-39, but Newcastle had never dropped far behind their score, and on the court both teams had everything to play for.

It was in the third quarter that the game began to change direction. A few early nets by Northumbria put the hosts ten points ahead of their rivals, and as Northumbria gained points they began to gain confidence. A couple of Newcastle misses were followed by Northumbria players snatching the rebounds,

and the Poly score crept further away from Newcastle’s.

Bonenberger was the leading light of the Newcastle team at this point, closing the deficit slightly to 51-42. Another of her shots thirty seconds later rolled around the rim of the net but failed to make it through. Northumbria continued to edge ahead while Newcastle were repeatedly frustrated in their efforts, although Bonenberger once again slowed the onslaught by taking Newcastle to 62-44.

Comfortably ahead, Northumbria slowed their pace back down, and apart from a casual jump shot from Bully 45 seconds from the end the hosts gave Newcastle’s defence little trouble, instead leaving their opponents to miss shot after shot.

The final quarter began much as the third ended, with a somewhat complacent Northumbria increasing their lead to 66-44 after 90 seconds of play. The hosts called a time out after Newcastle scored two points from a penalty, but this, if anything, hindered their performance; both sides spent the next few minutes of play missing multiple shots.

A Northumbria penalty, followed swiftly by yet another net from Newcastle’s Bonenberger, took the score to 6748, with the home crowd and bench still enthusiastically cheering on the Poly.

The game began to take on a more aggressive edge, with a faster pace accompanied by more fouls and penalties.

Karin Robinson scored for Newcastle

Relentless: Poly’s dominant third quarter proved too powerful Image: Mark Sleightholm

Sport

www.thecourieronline.co.uk Monday 29 February 2016 Issue 1327 Free

thecourieronline.co.uk/sport

Sports Editors: Alex Hendley, Calum Wilson & Lewis Bedford courier.sport@ncl.ac.uk Twitter: @Courier_Sport | Instagram: thecouriersport

We want our trophy back: Stan Calvert preview p.42 Futsal team get the ball rolling Newcastle’s Rory the lion is ready to pounce on Poly the parrot Image: Cat Schroeter

By Ritwik Sarkar PhD in Architecture, Bachelors in economics, Masters in Journalism and the INTO educational program. No, this isn’t an assembly of random chits out of a hat; this is the composition on Newcastle University’s Men’s Futsal team, well at least some of it.

Though known by a handful in the footballing community, first team winger Alex Ames took upon the initiative to formalize a Futsal team for the university, hoping to get the ball rolling for a sport that many other colleges already play on a competitive level.

Futsal, at its core is an indoor version of five-a-side football that merges the technical aspects of football with the movement pace and intensity of basketball. Positions are not set in stone, as the four outfield players constantly change positions, though there are those who specialise in different positions.

The problem with futsal and the university is that the teams always consisted of football players, who adjusted their gameplay ever so slightly, to suit the demands on indoor five-a-side. This year however, the emphasis was largely on creating a dedicated team of players fully trained in the sport of futsal.

Six months since its inception, Newcastle’s Men’s Futsal team stands joint

top in the third division of the BUCS league, with no indication of slowing down. What makes this feat remarkable? The fact that only four players have had any prior experience with the sport.

Xavi Rodriguez Corral, a PhD student in Architecture, took over coaching responsibilities. Having played for the first team at Cardiff University, and at high level in his home of Barcelona, he was faced with the task of training an unknown band of former football players to not only accustom themselves with the sport, but also to develop the necessary skillset to succeed.

Training sessions during the first month were particularly difficult as the team would meet only once a week to train, with the only matches available

make it to the final team, leaving many good players to seek opportunities to play football in five-a-side Sunday leagues.

Whilst these leagues have an aura of their own in Britain, the possibility and opportunity to still play while learning a new version of the sport, is what the Futsal team offers. Doing this while representing your University is just a very sweet bonus.

The team at present is about as multicultural as an advertisement for the United Nations. Out of the current squad of fifteen, nine players are from different nationalities. From Peru to Nigeria to Poland to Japan, the manner in which people from different corners of the globe, bound by a common interest

“a steep learning curve associated with Futsal”. He highlighted that the biggest difference was “the focus on the technical aspects of the game, and re-honing the basics of trapping, passing and calculated movements.”

Starter and vice-captain, Lee Tagziria was always impressed by the technical game and the fast pace of five-a-side football. Seeing the Futsal team as the ideal opportunity to try out his skills, which he has exhibited a level of proficiency that has served the team well.

With regards to the foundations of the squad, Tagziria did admit to the difficulties of getting the sport and the team off the ground. “Trying to set it all up ourselves, trying to find facilities to train, sourcing equipment has been hard.”

“Six months since its inception, Newcastle’s Men’s Futsal team stands joint top in the third division of the BUCS league” to play were those in the Intra-Mural Futsal league. The squad at the time was thin, with only 8-10 active players playing week in and week out.

By late November however, Ames brought in two players who didn’t make it to the Football team, to help out with the Futsal one. While it may seem unfair to do so, this switch represents one of the most attractive features of the team.

For around the 400 people who try out for the football team, only around 30

in Futsal, is what makes the team a fantastic social experiment and a learning experience unlike any other.

Luis Nakamine, a Peruvian masters student, had never played at a collegiate level. Having played both football and Futsal in his home country, Nakamine was surprised by the “high level of competition both in the BUCS fixtures as well as the FA Futsal league.”

Coming from Japan, undergraduate Shintaro Abe admitted that there was

Despite these difficulties, Director of Football Neil Baistow, as well as the football team captain Jack Taylor, have been helping the team out with any and all administrative needs. Tagziria hopes that in the future the support shown by the football team can translate into support by the administration so as to establish Futsal at a level as high as those of other universities in the North East.

With one eye on the future of the club, first year student James McKenna

could well prove to be a cornerstone of the club. Having played at a professional level before, the Engineering undergraduate boasts both a wealth of futsal knowledge as well as a professional outlook. Having been surprised by the absence of an established futsal team, McKenna saw it as an opportunity to help set up. Though a big change from what he’s used to, the Kettering native has enjoyed being part of a process that he hopes will grow into something bigger and better.

Many universities across the North East have up to three futsal teams, the emphasis going forward will be on getting a larger number of players, to both increase competition as well as giving good football players a chance to learn something new and unique.

With many of the current crop staying for the next year, and some beyond that, it seems like the team will only get stronger. With the direction the sport is heading, it isn’t farfetched to think that it might overtake traditional outdoor five-a-side. The university would be wise to capitalize on the sport’s growing popularity, by building upon an already burgeoning foundation.

Newcastle also has a Women’s Futsal team, who currently sit 6th in Northern 1B. They play their last game of the league season against Northumbria 3’s on Sunday 5th March.